#million ways it could’ve been better and i stand by it still needing another pass for writing and editing especially
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strixhaven · 10 days ago
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as much as it’s pissed people off, i do think having extremely limited worldstate choices from inquisition and functionally doing a reset on everything going on in southern thedas is the objectively right call to have made for dragon age to have any long-term chance of survival as a series
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messers-moony · 3 years ago
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Divorce | J.P
Paring: James Potter X Slytherin!Reader
Summary: Reader goes through divorce with her arranged husband but sees her Hogwarts crush almost two years later at her Potions shop in Diagon Alley
Divorce sucks. There is no other way to say it. There is no amount of sugar to properly coat the words to make them seem better than they are. Instead, they’re pure salt– pure acidity. An arranged marriage for purebloods was typical. That doesn’t mean that everyone technically agrees they work. Some speculate that arranged marriages work more than chosen marriages. Y/n wouldn’t be one of those people.
Her family was a part of the sacred twenty-nine. The L/n’s, to be more specific. Y/n was a model child, an only child at that. She was sorted into Slytherin with not a consideration of any other house. Immediately at the age of sixteen, she was engaged to another man called Zenix Flores, another family of the sacred twenty-eight. Zenix was sweet, but he wasn’t her type.
Throughout her years at Hogwarts, Y/n stared at another. His name was James Potter. A star Quidditch player for the Gryffindor team. The best Chaser. Y/n’s lingering stares and dreamy look didn’t make it past Zenix. Fortunately, Zenix had eyes for another as well, Sirius Black, the best friend of James Potter. They bonded over that. They bonded over being in love with people they couldn’t have.
Everyone dies eventually. Immortality is not reality, and once Y/n’s parents died. Divorce was in order. However, they didn’t love each other like they should’ve it still sucked. They were close friends. But did close friends have a child together? Leo Flores, the product of Y/n Flores and Zenix Flores, was only eight years old when they went through the divorce. Leo was a token to show that Zenix and Y/n fell in love. An illusion.
It took months, but after the process was complete, Y/n left. Leo was to be in her care for the rest of his life. Zenix would send some of his profit to them to help, but he would never see his son again. Granted, he didn’t treat Leo well. Always so harsh, so strict on the little boy. The first words out of Leo’s mouth were ma’am and sir. Not momma or daddy. Instead, they were formalities.
They lived in an apartment in Diagon Alley. It wasn’t huge, but it was enough. Y/n changed her last name, and Leo’s back to L/n. Another long process but worth the wait. Y/n worked at a Potions shop in the Alley. Sometimes her old friend Severus would visit and buy some ingredients, but no one else she knew ever came into the shop. Not until he showed up at the door.
James Potter came waltzing into the Potions shop like it was nobody’s business. Unknown to the woman working the shop, he had been watching her work from afar. Just across the street was a bookstore where Remus would visit. During one of those visits, James caught sight of her. Granted, James didn’t think he’d find love after Lily ran away after his proposal claiming he wasn’t enough but that all changed when he saw her.
The feelings came back like it was yesterday she was gazing at him from the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. Y/n’s cheeks were set ablaze, and her stomach was placed into a frenzy of a million different feelings. Her heart made it seem like she ran around the Quidditch pitch one thousand times. Unbeknownst to her, he felt the same way.
Eventually, he made his way to the counter, “ Um- Good Afternoon. “
“ Good afternoon, sir. How may I assist you today? “ Y/n asked despite her racing heart, “ I need some help brewing a complex Potion. “ James confessed, fiddling with his hands.
“ What Potion, sir? “ Y/n inquired, “ Wolfsbane. “ James answered.
Her eyebrow quirked upward, “ That is a difficult Potion. It could have awful defects if made incorrectly. “ Y/n explained, looking at the ingredient list, “ How about this, I’ll make you the Potion instead of you possibly messing it up? “
“ How can I trust you won’t mess up? “ James questioned, smirking teasingly, “ Well. If it helps any, I received O’s on all of my Potion examinations, even in N.E.W.T level. “ Y/n quipped.
“ Well. I suppose you know your stuff. “ He replied as he crossed his arms, “ I suppose I do. “ Y/n retorted with a smile.
So James decided that she’d make the Potion. He would’ve paid her a million Galleons if he was just allowed to sit in the shop and stare at her. She was a beauty and moved so gorgeously. She moved with a purpose, with determination and ambition. Sirius and Remus had begun teasing him as James stared longingly at the Potions shop across the street.
“ Do you know her name? “ Remus asked, standing beside James now, “ No? “ James stated.
Remus chuckled; of course, he didn’t, “ Y/n L/n. She was a Slytherin in our year. Amazingly brilliant she is. Apparently, she was married to Zenix Flores but got divorced two years ago. “
James and Sirius stared gobsmacked, “ Did you stalk Prongs’ future wife? “ Sirius accused, and Remus shrugged, “ I was curious. Plus, I knew her at Hogwarts. She was a Prefect. We had a lot of rounds together. “
“ She was a Prefect? “ James queried, “ Mhm. You were too busy drooling at Lily to notice her. “ Remus nodded.
Now James felt incredibly stupid. All those pranks on the Slytherin house made him feel exceptionally stupid, knowing that she could’ve caught the backlash on some of them. Not only that, but she was a part of the sacred twenty-eight. James had never felt more idiotic, and he had gotten rejected after proposing to his girlfriend. That was saying something.
A month had passed, and the potion was ready. So once again, James walked into the Potions shop. This time she had a messy top knot present on top of her hair. Her eyes held extreme tiredness, and she moved almost sluggishly. James was worried. But Y/n saw him enter the shop and her cheerful smile glazed her face. Two bottles were now present on the counter for James to take.
He stood at the counter and pressed ten Galleons on the table, “ Sir, they’re only three Galleons. “ Y/n stated, “ Take the extra. You look exhausted. “ James replied.
“ Th- Thank you. “ Y/n smiled, “ Thank you, Y/n, for making these. “ James said gratefully.
Y/n blushed, “ I- Um- You were a Slytherin Prefect in my year at Hogwarts. “ James stammered, “ I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you before. “
“ It’s okay. Divorce can do that to you, Huh? “ Y/n laughed bitterly, “ Well, when I proposed to Lily, she straight up told me I wasn’t good enough so, that was almost like divorce minus the paperwork. “ James added.
“ I’m- I’m so sorry. “ Y/n apologized, “ No, no. I’m okay, trust me. It’s been about three years. “ James replied.
Before Y/n could speak again, steps were heard from the second story, “ Mom! Mom! “ Leo’s voice called as he rushed down the steps.
“ Mom! “ Leo appeared from behind the counter to see James and a blushing Y/n, “ Oops, uh, sorry, mom. “
“ No, it’s fine. Come here. “ James beckoned, and Leo hesitantly approached, “ What’s your name, little man? “
“ I’m ten! “ Leo announced proudly, and James chuckled, “ That’s awesome! “ James smiled.
Y/n turned to her son, “ What did you need, Leo? “ Despite being embarrassed, she was calm, “ You accidentally placed my quills on a high shelf. I can't reach them. “ Leo confessed, slightly embarrassed.
“ I’ll be up in just a second, but- “ Y/n began, but James stuck out his hand, “ I’m James. “
“ I’m Leo. “ Leo accepted the handshake and smiled at the adult man, “ If your mom doesn’t mind, maybe we could chat? “ James inquired, looking toward Y/n.
Leo looked hopeful at his mom, “ Please? “
“ Sure. You can go. “ Y/n allowed, and Leo hopped over the counter.
Before James could leave the proximity of the counter, Y/n grabbed his wrist, “ Please. Take care of him; I'm trusting you blindly here. “ She pleaded, and James smirked, “ Of course. “
The rest of the day went smoothly. Y/n had closed shop and began restocking items when they showed up. James' unkempt brown hair was more unorganized, but his hazel eyes glassed with mischief. Leo’s black hair was blown away from the rain, and his blue eyes sparkled with excitement. James beckoned the ten-year-old back upstairs while he approached Y/n.
“ So? Have a nice day with my kid? “ Y/n teased, and James chuckled, “ He’s fantastic. “
“ I know. “ She replied, “ I took him for ice cream, and we went shopping for a little. “ James informed.
Y/n melted at the adoration present on James' face, “ Do you need any money back? I can- “
“ No. Don’t worry about it, doll. I’ve got it covered. “ James interjected, “ I just saw him, and he had this look. He looked trapped. He needed to leave and just let loose for a couple of hours. “
“ I- I really love him. “ James confessed, and Y/n smirked, “ You’re in love with my son but not the woman who created him? “
“ If we're being honest. I’ve been watching you from the bookstore across the street. I thought you were gorgeous. Remus was the one who told me who you were. “ He admitted nervously, “ But being with your son today. If you’d like, could I take him out more often? “
She stepped down from the ladder and stood in front of him, “ How about you stay forever? “
“ I- I mean that is if you want. I know that I’m a pureblood, and- and my son- you probably don’t want to have a child right now. He’ll be going to Hogwarts soon, and quite frankly, I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle it. But- But his former father wasn’t amazing, and I’m not sure you want that responsibility- “
Y/n was cut off when James grabbed her by the waist and placed his lips on hers. His thumbs rubbed gentle circles on her skin through her shirt. Y/n’s hands went through his unkept brown tuffs and his glasses slightly fogged from the heat of the kiss. They pulled apart but rested their foreheads on each other. They were still somewhat breathless from the soft kiss.
He held her chin in his hand, “ I’d love nothing more than to stay forever. “
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riddikulus-writings · 3 years ago
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Take A Nap
A/N: So yeah. I have a long, in depth fic for these two that's chock full of secrets and fluff and Actual Backstory but for some reason all I can write is smut. This is part two to Escapades and takes place just after the police van rolled down that hill. Also, can someone let me know if that link I tried doesn’t work? I’m still new to writing on this blue hellsite
Word Count: 1734
Pairing: Rick Flag x Female Reader [Codename Nyx, after the Greek Goddess]
Warnings: Still not really any plot, sorry guys. The plot for this is hidden elsewhere. Vaginal fingering. Semi-public sex. Dirty talk. Rick still won't shut up but he really should, though, people are trying to sleep. Choking. Uh, nothing makes sense, really? Movie innacuracies due to the fact this is now a bigger vehicle than the hippie van they were cruising around in, but the same concept still applies. 
Apparently, the van was on fire. One by one they stepped from the wreckage, walking out into the road, weapons in hand. Nyx wished she could’ve taken a picture, because she was positive they probably looked pretty cool.
Disoriented. Possibly concust. But cool.
And suddenly, rolling to a stop, was the small dusty van they'd rode to town in. Abner was in the open slider door, waving them in. DuBois puffed out his chest, "Alright. To Jotunheim."
"Not yet," Rick stopped him, "There's something else we need to do first."
"Stop standing like you have an American Flag waving behind you and get in the fucking mini bus, Flag."
Nyx's voice shook him out of his reverie; he was the last one outside. He jogged to catch the bus before it began moving faster, piling in the door and sliding it shut behind him. His eyes immediately found Nyx, seated in the very back. Rick beelined for her through the others and took up the space on her right. Peacemaker called to him from a seat up, "So, where are we going, now?"
"The Mayor's mansion in town," Rick told him, "We need to get Harley."
"Oh, I miss her," Nyx mused quietly.
Oh yeah. Rick cringed to himself, remembering the three missions he, Nyx and Harley had been on before he’d requested to Waller that Harley be benched more often than not. The first had gone by fine, minimal issues. The second was better. No deaths, no infighting amongst the Squad. Nyx had loosened up around other people by then and banter even happened. And the third--
Ain’t it normally the gal makin’ heart eyes at the guy and not the other way around, Ricky?
He’d shaken his head and given Harley a stern glare for assuming things. Harley had simply given him her smuggest million dollar grin and continued about her own business and not his.
“Suicide Squad to Mr. Flag,” a hand was waving in his eyes, slowly coming into focus. It was Nyx’s hand, but Cleo’s heavily accented voice, “What’s the plan?”
Rick cleared his throat, looking among his teammates, “Peacemaker high up, across the street. Sniper for any possible danger. Cleo,” he pointed at her, “Abner and, uh… Sebastian… are around back. Take out any guards back there. DuBois scales the wall to the top, Nyx and I keep watch.”
“Question,” Nyx raised her hand up, “Why can’t we just walk in the front door?”
"That would give us away," Peacemaker told her blatantly, "Instant capture. Dumb idea."
"You're a dumb idea," she retorted, "Actually, a bad idea was bringing you along."
Whoa. Everyone's eyebrows shot up, "Nyx, what the fuck? No infighting. Knock it off," Rick's voice was low but firm with authority.
"He's-- he's got bad vibes about him," Nyx's words slurred, "I-I just don't like him."
"No one does," DuBois told her, patting the very quiet Peacemaker on the shoulder, "Everyone try to get some rest before we get to town. It's going to be a while."
The rest of the team hunkered down in their seats, leaning against their respective windows or leaning forward with their heads against the seat ahead of them. Cleo snuggled into Nanaue's side, and Peacemaker went as far as laying completely flat on his back, his thick splayed legs hanging in the aisle.
Rick reached over and tugged Nyx across the bench seat they were seated on, sliding her into his side, "What’s up between you and Peacemaker?" His voice was quiet, muffled against the hair at her temple.
She ducked away from him a little, tucking her head under his chin, "I've been with him a bit longer than you have. I just… can't explain it but I don't like him. He makes me uneasy."
Rick's thumb started rubbing circles in her hip, "So many trust issues."
"I have my reasonings," she yawned up at him, "Secret reasonings."
"Oh, I'm sure you do," he whispered, grabbing her chin with his free hand so he could look her in the eye. The dim moonlight through the window made her eyes seem almost black, "Extra secret reasonings, huh?"
Nyx leaned closer, staring at his mouth instead of his eyes, "Top secret."
Rick hummed in agreement and closed the gap, sealing his mouth over hers. He wasted no time dipping his tongue into her mouth, drinking in her moans before they could get too loud. He gently pushed on her, laying her down across the length of the seat. Rick followed her down, nestling himself between her legs. Nyx planted a foot on the seat beside Rick’s thigh as he hitched the other into the crook of his elbow, “Gonna be quiet?” he asked quietly, lightly peppering kisses down her neck. Sucking on her now-exposed collarbone.
She whined, a breathless whisper as she nodded desperately, trying to grind her hips against something. Rick moved back up, his free hand moving around her neck, “Quiet.”
He slowly lowered her leg, her boot softly hitting the floor. Rick sent a sidelong glance through the rest of the dark bus, and so far no one had moved from their previous positions. Thank God for that. What a sight they’d wake up to; Nyx spread over the only bench seat here, Rick looming over her, a hand around her throat. They’d either think he was trying to kill her, or get very uncomfortable very fast and ask him to stop.
Which, he wasn’t about to do whether someone woke up or not.
He turned his attention back to the panting woman beneath him, raising an eyebrow at the grin spread over her face. The more pressure he applied to her throat, the wider her lips spread. His right hand worked at the buttons of her black pants, “Filthy little thing,” he muttered, “There’s other people on this bus.” Rick snaked his hand down the front of her pants, stroking down her dripping sex, “All for me?”
“That is you,” she panted out, grabbing the back of his head to pull him down for another searing kiss. When he scooped his cum back up with two fingers and pushed them inside, Nyx bit his bottom lip so hard he was sure she’d drawn blood. He leaned into it, pushing his tongue on her mouth again as he worked his fingers and scissored her open.
“Quiet,” he admonished, again, pressing his free hand against her throat once more. He pinned her to the seat, squeezing his hand as tight as he’d let himself, “Gonna wake everyone up,” he breathed out, his nose brushing against hers.
Again, Nyx’s grin grew, her pearly teeth glowing in the shards of moonlight passing through the windows, “Good.”
Rick almost growled but couldn’t without fear of waking someone up. Instead he buried his face in her shoulder, “Fuckin’ filthy little thing,” he repeated, curling his fingers against that certain spongy spot he’d found that made her grind hard into the palm of his hand, “Gonna be a good girl and keep me in there?” She whined out a high pitched yes but otherwise stayed breathless, quiet pants crawling up her throat and Rick wanted nothing more than to shove his cock in her open mouth. He pulled up from her neck, almost sneering with the strain of trying to stay quiet as he worked his thumb up to the peak of her cunt, “Want you to cum all over my hand, sweetheart. Gonna do that for me? See if you can stay quiet.”
“Bastard,” was the whimper he got.
“That’s not very nice,” he told her, pressing his thumb hard on her clit. Her arm suddenly flew up to cover her face, Nyx burying her face in the crook of her elbow as Rick buried a third finger deep in her cunt, his thumb rubbing fast circles. He moved his hand from her throat, sliding it instead to her hip to hold her down as she bucked into his hand, “C’mon, almost there. I got you,” he muttered.
Her hips stuttered, low whines coming muffled by her elbow. She was choking his fingers and he had to remove one so he could keep them moving, working her through her orgasm. Rick’s hand got soaked suddenly and she went limp, her only movement coming from her chest that moved with rapid breaths, “Bitch.”
Rick tugged her arm from her face as he slid his hand from her pants, “What’s the matter, Nyx?”
“I--” she panted out, “hate being-- quiet.”
He flashed her a bright grin and tugged her pants back into place, giving her stomach a gentle pat, “You didn’t have to,” a quick peck on the lips, “But it would’ve been a bit awkward for the others. Especially when I wouldn’t stop.” Another whimper, and he raised an eyebrow at her, but simply stuck his fingers in his mouth.
“I’m going to sleep,” she whispered, dropping her hand off the side of the seat. Her knuckles brushed the floor. The other arm folded behind her head.
“I sure fuckin’ hope so,” DuBois grumbled from somewhere up front. “You two are disgusting.”
"No one told you to listen," Rick shot back, his whisper loud enough for DuBois to hear over Nyx's stifled giggles. Rick was grinning, though; thankfully Bloodsport couldn't see it.
"Someone needs to nap," Nyx murmured, a small smirk plastered over her mouth, "He sounds cranky."
“You ain't laying down there,” Rick suddenly tugged her back up to snuggle into his side, his arm draped over her shoulders as he scooted them both to the end of the seat, “Leanin’ or layin’?”
“Lay,” she yawned.
He turned and pressed his back to the window, head lolling to the side to lean on the seat. After some shuffling, she was between his legs, back to his chest. HIs arms wrapped around her, one leg from each of them on the seat and the other leg on the floor. They looked like they had the same boots on. Nyx nuzzled her head into his shoulder, “Y’smell nice…”
“I smell like jungle and sweat,” he chuckled, his laugh vibrating through her, “And blood. Go to sleep.”
And they both dozed off like that, just as they had several times before on Nyx’s couch. Their breathing evened, Nyx drooling a little onto Rick’s bicep. Rick shifted in his sleep and snugged her closer to his chest.
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sweet-dreamins · 4 years ago
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careless (f+a)
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○ pairing: pro hero! katsuki bakugou x gn! reader, pro hero! reader, established relationship
○ word count: 3.5k
○ summary: after a successful battle you’re confused when katsuki isn’t happy for you, in fact he’s furious. shouldn’t he be proud of you?
○ content: a bit angsty, a bit fluffy, hurt/comfort, mention of cuts and blood
○ a/n: i rewrote this like 4 times lol but here it is!! (i may come back nd edit bc passive voice) feedback is appreciated, enjoy!
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You and Bakugou were partners, but you weren’t partners. Sure, you were lovers in the nighttime, but on the field? Yeah, no thanks. The two of you had only partnered up a few times, and that was more than enough for you. Before even entering the field, you were hesitant that he’d let himself get distracted by you and you were right, just not for the reasons you think.
The dynamic shifted juuuust a little too much for your liking. One of the most...memorable times was when you were up against one of the more powerful villains. Anytime the villain would make a move towards you before you could even retaliate, Bakugou would slip in front of you- even going as far as to shove you back. To others watching, it seemed as if he was falling back into his attention-seeking habits or that it was so romantic that he put your safety over his, but you knew better (or at least you thought you did).
After that fight, you two had quite the shouting match in the ER afterward. Until he dragged the two of you home, insisting he was more than capable of taking care of the both of you. That, and his publicist was this close to having another conniption after hearing about your rather loud discussion….that the whole hospital heard.
You knew Katsuki only acted that way out of love and concern for you. You know that he sees you as strong. So, why did it still feel so demeaning? Why did it feel like he didn’t, maybe still doesn’t, see you as strong enough?
Even though after your discussion, you had decided to not do hero work together, the little voice in the back of your head wasn’t erased. Creeping in concluding that you were nothing but a pity fuck. The skewed, brutal honesty of the public never failed to make the little voice louder.
You did your best to not let it get to you, you really did. You ignored the tabloids and told your friends you didn’t want them telling you about the articles they had read. But this past week was just atrocious. Katsuki and you had gone on a coffee date, knowing that he was going to be swamped this week, trying to make up for crammed schedules. The paparazzi managed to find you-instantly getting into your personal space, effectively cutting your date short.
By the time you had got back to your apartment, the pictures were already released and practically everywhere. Katsuki tried distracting you by making you dinner and it was wonderful. But you stayed up that night reading every single headline, article, and comment about the two of you. Drowning yourself in the criticism as the voice began to get louder and louder.
Of course, you would never say it out loud, but since then you had been itching for a fight with a real villain. Somebody who can do some proper damage, somebody strong. Any kind of opportunity where you could prove your strength, show everyone that they’re wrong about you. That you’re good enough for Katsuki, that you’re strong enough to be a hero- that you are enough. And finally, finally, finally, the chance came.
You did wonderfully. The fight had dragged on for a while, long enough for reporters to arrive and commentate on the rest of it. Everyone could see how well that you handled everything, all the footage establishing your reputation.
Once the adrenaline from the fight had subsided, the ache in your body started seeping into your bones. Cuts that had been littered across your skin felt as though they had started glowing red, the cool night air kissing them. You still managed to put on a brave face for the crowd afterward, relief and joy filling your heart as the cheers far outweighed the jeers.
You let their praises wash over you, relishing the fact the little voice in your head had been silenced. Their words seeping into through your wounds, momentarily numbing the burning pain. Your heart was no longer squeezed by apprehension, finally at ease knowing that they believed in you, in your worth. As you gave your last interview and waved to the crowd, you made your way over to the ambulance.
His foot was practically tapping the ground at the speed of light, you were surprised he hadn’t made an indent in the concrete already. Katsuki stood there, arms crossed with a scowl on his face, furrowed brow, and glaring eyes. You didn’t know whether it was the exhaustion or if the night was that cold, but you could’ve sworn there was steam coming off of him.
He had arrived pretty late to the scene, coming from the other side of the city, but the footage of you was everywhere. Katsuki had seen the majority of the fight and despite not saying anything, it was obvious that he did not like what he saw. The lights from the ambulance bathed the two of you in red light. Strong arms envelop you in a firm but gentle hug. You close your eyes and breathe him in. You stand there in silence for a little while, simply basking in each other’s presence.
He leans down to mumble in a gruff voice, lips brushing against your ear,
“I already talked to the EMTs, we’re going home now.”
Although Katsuki had EMT training from when he was younger, only on rare occasions did he fully take patching you up into his own hands. Yes, he was always breathing down the neck of the poor medic who had the misfortune of having you as a patient, but typically he had enough self-control to let them do their job.
You were grateful to have privacy, but his reaction was off-putting to say the very least. He should be proud of you, right? That you handled everything so well, he should be congratulating you, right? So...why does he look like he’s two seconds away from grinding his teeth to dust?
The car ride to your apartment is as silent as the grave, thick tension weighing down the surrounding air, making your tongue heavy in your mouth. Katsuki’s knuckles turning white as he grips the steering wheel, not once sparing you a glance. Nearly all the lingering adrenaline from the fight and buzz from the crowd has faded, irritation and pain taking place.
Why the hell is he mad at me right now? He has no right or reason to be mad at me. Everything turned out fine!
As the city lights flutter past the window, you sit in the passenger stewing in confusion and anger. Wracking your brain trying to come up with a logical reason as to why he’s mad at you. Once you arrive at your apartment, you wait to hear the telltale slam of the front door, preparing to cringe- but it never comes.
Instead, Katsuki gently shuts the door behind him.
Oh. So he’s in that kind of mood.
Over time, you came to learn that there were levels to Katsuki’s anger. Everyone else in his life had been on the receiving end of his knee jerk reaction at some point. Yelling and slamming down everything he could get his hands on. But tonight, the type of anger in front of you. Only a few people had been privy to. The kind he has the force of an inferno behind it but is trying to channel it into a few million candles. The kind he wants to be careful with his words, spending every passing second trying to remove the barbs from his tongue, so as not to get it wrong.
Before you could get pulled back into your head, a large warm hand pressing at the small of your back kept you tethered to reality. Katsuki gently guided you to the bathroom, wordlessly turning on the shower, a silent signal for you to get undressed. The tension from the car had followed you into the apartment, a dark cloud, about to storm at any moment.
You slip into the shower, drinking in the way the water washes away the dirt and grime of the day. The peace is short-lived, the warm water trickling into your open wounds, your entire body stinging slightly. Peeking past the curtain, you see Katsuki rummaging through the closet for supplies. After he sets everything on the counter, he steps out to grab clothes.
Snatching the soap bar, you scrub your body down as quickly as possible, whimpers of pain involuntarily falling from your mouth. You had waited until Katsuki left, not wanting him to hear you crying out. Frantically blinking away your blurry vision, you finish washing up and wrap yourself in a fluffy towel, taking deep breaths. How are you going to keep it together?
In your shared bedroom, Katsuki was grabbing you a change of clothes while grumbling to himself. After throwing on a tank top and sweatpants, he paces back and forth with a scowl, running a hand through his hair. Trying to untangle the scribbles piling up in his brain, he takes a deep breath and looks into the mirror. He knows he needs to tread carefully, to get his words across in the best way possible. What you need right now isn’t yelling or anger, it’s honesty and support. He doesn’t want his anger to get in the way of what truly matters, repeating it over and over in his head,
I love you, and I care about you. I love you, and I care about you.
He makes his way back to the bathroom, clothes in hand, to see you standing there wrapped up tight in a fluffy towel. The precious sight in front of him squeezes his heart, making it a little hard to breathe. Here, in the safety of your apartment, you let yourself be a little more vulnerable and he loves it, wants more of it. But once you notice him walk in, you stand up a little straighter, wiping away the teary expression on your face. He grits his teeth at this but says nothing, reminding himself to keep it together.
You finish drying off and put on the clothes he brought you, one of his shirts and a pair of sleep shorts. Even though he’s standing right in front of you, being enveloped by his scent is still comforting. He leans against the counter, waiting for you to jump onto the space next to him, reminding himself one more time,
I love you, and I care about you.
He finally opens his mouth to say,
“That was really stupid of you.”
No response.
“You could’ve gotten seriously hurt, you realize that, right?”
Silence.
“You could’ve bled out and died.”
You spit back, “But I didn’t right? I’m still here, aren’t I? So it doesn’t matter.”
Katsuki grits his teeth, huffing through his nose, growling out,
“It doesn’t matter?”
“No, no it doesn’t because I’m fine. Everything else turned out fine, so who cares?”
You were certain you were right, no doubt about it! He was overreacting about this and it was honestly the last thing you needed tonight, so you had less patience than usual.
He snaps his jaw shut, opting for the silent treatment again with a scowl on his face. Katsuki douses a cotton pad in alcohol and swipes it across one of your cuts.
You yelp in pain and surprise, sucking breath in through your teeth, snatching his wrist. You shoot him a glare, at first he’s ready to glare right back, but once he meets your gaze he softens. That’s what you do to him. You’ve given him a safe space to be soft, to be loving- to be vulnerable. This is why this cuts him up inside so much more, he knows that you’re in pain, that you’ve been in pain for the past week. But every time he would ask, you brushed it off, adamant on shouldering it by yourself. He was even angrier at himself for not pushing harder, if he had you might not have pushed yourself tonight.
You were his safe space and your reluctance to be vulnerable with him, had him doubting himself. Was he not enough for you? Did you not think he could be your safe space? He had beat himself up over this, which added another layer of frustration that had to take the backseat tonight.
He continues working diligently in silence, repeating the process with the same care for every single cut. Rubbing alcohol, bacitracin, a bandaid, and then smoothing over it with his rough fingertips. Repeatedly, gently tracing plain patterns over the material, soothing the both of you. If the circumstances were different, he would’ve littered butterfly kisses over every single one. The amount of self-control that he was showing was unfathomable.
Katsuki was inches away from exploding, pulling his brain in endless directions between figuring out how to get through to you, wanting to just tactlessly spill his guts, and longing to smother you in frantic love. You were nearing eruption as well, desperately wanting him to say something, anything at all, but you also didn’t want to hear a single word of his lecturing. You also wanted nothing more but to hug him, to cling to him because fuck, tonight was terrifying but you couldn’t let him know that-you had to stick to your guns.
Both of you were stubborn as all get out, a trait that you both loved and hated in one another. Neither of you wants to be the first to give in, and yet desperately pray the other will. Here together, in your bathroom, and yet worlds apart, lost in your thoughts. You were unceremoniously dragged back to the moment in front of you by fear.
Whether Katsuki did it on purpose, he had left the worst cut for last. It was the biggest one, crimson and angry, your anxiety building as he prepared to clean it. You had handled the stinging of the rest of the cuts fairly well, this one was going to be your breaking point.
His warm, rough hands wrap around your thigh, lightly squeezing it to steady you.
“Wait! Please.”
Your hand shot out to wrap around his wrist, your brain still catching up to your outburst. He immediately stopped in his tracks, looking up at you and feeling his heart shatter when he saw your eyes. Pleading, looking for mercy in him, and full of fear. As soft as he could muster,
“Hey, hey it’s not going to be that bad, promise.” He carefully watches as you nervously chew on your bottom lip. He raises his large hand to gently cup your face, you instinctively lean into the warmth of his palm. A new, unfamiliar voice pipes up in the back of your head as you get lost in his carmine eyes.
Let go.You’re safe here.
You let go of his wrist to place your hand on top of his bigger one, absentmindedly stroking.
“Just take a deep breath, okay? It’ll be over before you know it.”
Drawing in a shaky breath, you nod and try to relax as he moves his hand back to your thigh. He gingerly wipes the cut, the alcohol instantly seeping in and burning. You cry out in pain, begging him to stop, but he doesn’t listen. He tries to be quick but still efficient, wanting to lessen your pain. He places a large bandaid on it, smoothing it down, and finally, finally, gives in and presses the lightest butterfly kiss on top. 
Fuck.
Your bottom lip is poking out, quivering as you do your best to swallow the sob clawing its way up your throat. Angrily rubbing away the tears that escape, you let out a trembling sigh, still trying to get a hold of yourself. Balling your hands into fists on your thighs, you sniffle and bite your lip so it’ll stop its ridiculous shaking. You instinctively berate yourself for how you’re reacting.
You should be stronger than this. What is wrong with you? 
The new, sweeter, softer voice comes back to say,
But it’s okay. Because it’s him.
Because it’s him. Because he’s the one who is fixing you, who is choosing to fix you. To be here with you, to choose you, and to love you. And maybe it is okay that you’re ‘weak’  in front of him. It’s safe here. Maybe you were wrong an-
“Do you understand why I’m mad at you?” His voice rumbles out, interrupting your thoughts.
“I-I don’t- honestly, no not really, I did nothing wrong tonight” You try not to roll your eyes at how watery and shaky your voice sounds. Katsuki sets his jaw and slowly breathes in and out of his nose, almost like a bull getting ready to charge.
“How am I going to get this through your head?” He mutters to himself, you roll your eyes in return and give him a pointed look. You know that you shouldn’t be getting riled up, but the exhaustion is sapping away your patience. Logically you know that you should just stop with the retorts, listen to him, and yet,
“Well? Are you going to tell me why you’re mad at me or am I just supposed to be a mind-reader?” 
That was the last straw.
“I don’t know how or why you can’t see this,” he starts slowly, mulling over his thoughts, “but the way you handled tonight was...it was...you shouldn’t have pushed yourself that hard.”
“But every-”
“I don’t care that everything else turned out fine!” He raises his voice momentarily, forcing himself to come back down, “I’m not mad that you took care of everything else, I’m mad that you didn’t take care of yourself.” Ruby eyes search your face for any sign of understanding.
“It doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks,” he notices how your eyes widen, realizing that he knew your feelings all along. You were mistaken for thinking you ever needed to handle it by yourself. 
“You are already strong and you don’t have to prove that to anyone. You don’t owe anyone shit, you don’t need to push yourself to the point of breaking just to show that you can make it there.” He slips his warm, coarse hands into your softer ones, gripping tightly. He leans forward to put his forehead against yours,
“I need you. I need you in my life, and I need you to take care of yourself.” Desperation seeps into his voice, begging you to give yourself the love you deserve. Quietly, he adds,
“For my sake, at least, don’t be careless, dumbass.” He pulls back slightly to look at you, eyes glassy and full of pain. He doesn’t say anything else, letting his words float around in your head. You laughably admit to yourself,
He’s right. I am a dumbass.
Your face is wet with tears, salty drops still haven’t stopped cascading down your skin. You were being foolish, but you didn’t want to admit it, letting your pride suffocate you. You’re sniffling nonstop but still trying to keep your cries as tucked away as possible, your whole body shaking with stifled sobs. He lets go of your hands to cup your face, thumbs wiping away fresh tears. 
“You can let it out, you know. You let me.”
You throw your arms around him, clutching him, afraid that he’ll float away from you. Keeping him in a tight, tight, tight embrace, hands collecting handfuls of his shirt. Like a broken record, repeating over and over again, strangled, I’m sorry’s. He hums in response, rubbing circles on your back as he holds you. Unbeknownst to you, he’s thankful you can’t see his tears that manage to slip out, knowing you would only cry harder.
The two of you stay like that until your sobs have subsided. He pulls away, wiping away the rest of your tears and holding your face again. You stare into each other’s tired and bloodshot eyes.
“I don’t want you to be careless anymore. I don’t want you to feel like you have to prove yourself to anyone. I want you to see what I already know, what is already true. You are more than enough, you are more than strong enough, and I need you to see that. Okay?”
Nodding, you whisper, 
“I know,” You bite your lip and nod again.
“I know.”
Sometime later, after cuddles and soft voices, you lay in bed, wrapped up in fluffy blankets. Rubbing at the gauze around your arm, you stare at the ceiling, ruminating on what Katsuki said.
He’s right. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone, especially not to assholes who don’t even know me. Next time that I want to be reckless, I’ll just think of him. The one who loves me and knows me.
You close your eyes and smile to yourself.
The one who knows I’m strong.
807 notes · View notes
unknownwriting · 4 years ago
Note
Hiiiii, can I request of Ace survived b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ f̶u̶c̶k̶ A̶k̶a̶i̶n̶u̶ and his s/o was pregnant with his child then after 2 years of time skip (they don't know Ace survived) can please Luffy & Sabo reunited with Ace, to his s/o and child and having family moments 🥺🥺🥺 👉👈
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summary- requested ^^
word count - 2.9 k, i honeslty could write a whole book 
song inspo- i love you - billie eilish
characters - Portgas D. Ace, Sabo, Monkey D. Luffy
warnings - None :)
a/n- my sense of time is fucked. I could’ve swore it was Tuesday...but i still had a lot of fun writing this. I cried half the time but Ace 🥺🥺 so I hope you enjoy
(unedited)
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“The weeds!! The weeds Luffy!! Not the flowers!” (Y/n) shouted as she leaned out the kitchen window. Even then Luffy still began to yank out the barely budding roses. For as much as he wanted to do the garden, Luffy sucks at it. (Y/n) eyes trailed over to the small pile of weeds and roses, where Luffy continued to toss the roses in. Let out a heavy sigh, (Y/n) called out to him again, “Luffy! Not the roses!”
“Huh?” Luffy hummed as he looked up and around before finally making eye contact with (Y/n). She scoffed at her absent-minded brother-in-law as she stated again,
“Your weeding the weeds, not the roses.”
“Eh? But they all look the same?” Luffy hummed as he looked back to the pile of weeds and roses then back to the rosebuds in his hands.
“See the little green ball on top of that the stem, those are roses that have yet to bloom. Those need to stay in the ground so they can bloom, what your getting is the other green plants.” (Y/n) explained as she pointed down the weeds that surrounded the roses. Luffy’s eyes followed as he began to finally see the difference between the 2. And with a chuckle, Luffy had gone back to work pulling out only the weeds this time. (Y/n) scoffed once again as she leaned back from the window and turned around on her heel and looked back at her blonde brother-in-law. She was so grateful for Sabo and Luffy. They sat through everything with her and supported her throughout it too.  Keeping her safe and healthy when she found out about Ace’s death, being there to help her through her pregnancy even sitting with her through her labor, and even now they still come and visit her regularly, checking up on her and her family. The trio of brothers are the best people she has ever met. Brightening her smile, she shook her head and began to walk past them.
“Ya’know for as much as Luffy wanted to do the garden, you’d think he’s at least how to do it.” (Y/n) sighed as she made her way next to Sabo at the table. She had taken a spot right next to him and picked up the pair of pants she was stitching back together. Sabo continued to shuffle through some paper as he glanced over at (Y/n) and chuckled.
“Well, you pretty much banned him from doing anything else. The garden is the only thing Luffy can do now.” Sabo pointed out, taking the pile of papers in his hands and setting them to the side, then began working on the other pile.
“...It’s his fault for being so reckless. If he’s your brother you should’ve raised him better.” (Y/n) huffed, cutting the string off the pants and tying them up. (Y/n) was currently fixing a pair of Estelle’s pants that were destroyed when he and Luffy were playing. It wouldn’t be a big of a problem if it wasn’t one of Estelle’s good pants. It was one of the best days Estelle had though, so it was easy for (Y/n) not to get too mad.
“Ace was the one who was the closest to him. I lost my memories although that time.” Sabo answered, as his gaze shifted down to the paperwork
“Looks like Imma have to call Ace out on that then-”
“Mama!!” A loud voice had shouted as the door to the small house swung open and a small (h/c) colored child had rushed in. (Y/n) was quick to drop the pants and open her arms to greet home her child.
“Estelle! Welcome back, baby.” (Y/n) smiled brightly as she gave a huge hug to her child. Estelle giggled and happily hugged back. Estelle wasn’t gone for long, only about 3 hours but it was easy to tell that he missed his mom. He definitely takes after his dad, being a very family-orientated person. Standing up from her chair, she pulled away from Estelle yet keeping him on her hip, she smiled, “We’re you nice to Doctor Cherry?”
“Yeah, she even gave me a candy.” Estelle proudly shouted as he stuck out his tongue and showed (Y/n) its blue color.
“Wow, You must’ve been such a good boy. I bet Dcotor Cherry was happy to spend the day with you.” (Y/n) smiled, as she set Estelle back on the floor and looked up at the red-haired lady that stood at the door.
“Of course, Estelle’s one of my best patients.” Cherry smiled as she looked down at Estelle. Estelle giggled loudly as grinned up from his mother's side. Cherry was another person who stood by (Y/n) when she was going through such a hard time, helping (Y/n) nurse back to health and helped a lot with the pregnancy. She was another that was close like family. As Cherry took a step into the house, she had opened her mouth to speak again but Sabo and Luffy were quick to interrupt.
“You’re not even gonna say hi to your uncles. Estelle, you make us so sad.” Sabo teased as he and Luffy walked up to join (Y/n). Quickly turning around to the sound of the voices, Estelle smiled brightly again.
“Uncle Sabo, Uncle Luffy!!” Estelle shouted as he jumped into their arms. The boys were quick to hug back and spoil Estelle in all types of affections. (Y/n) smiled at the view, that's one of the many things that she wants Estelle to learn that no matter what family is always important. With Estelle already being a very family-oriented person, it seemed that (Y/n) didn’t have much of a lesson to teach. Giggling to herself, (Y/n) turned back to Cherry to see what she was gonna say early. Once Cherry had seen that (Y/n) was back on her, she began again,
“Someone was asking around for you early today. I’m not sure who, but he seemed almost desperate.” Cherry explained as she watched (Y/n) face twist into shock and just for a moment, there was a huge flash of hope in her eyes that seemed to cloud her judgment for a moment. It was for a brief moment, but even with that flash of hope Cherry could tell that (Y/n) wants, more like needs, to see who it is.
“Asking for (Y/- Ow!!” Sabo hisses as he quickly pulled his arm towards him and began to rub the red spot that Estelle pinched, “He’s still in his pinching phase? I thought we were over that.”
“With Estelle? Of course not, he still goes around pinching everything and everyone. I’ve been trying to get him to stop but he doesn’t want to. I’m surprised that you thought he grew ou-”
“Ow, ow, ow, ow!! My nipples!!” Luffy cried as he pushed Estelle away from him. With the pain still written over his face, Luffy cupped his nipples and hissed. (Y/n) laughed as she watched Luffy sit there trying to soothe the pain running through him.
“Yeah no, he’s still pinching.” (Y/n) laughed before her, and Sabo, both turned back to Cherry and continued to question her.
“Who’s looking for (Y/n)?” Sabo questioned. It was easy to tell that his overprotectiveness was kicking him. The only response that Sabo got from Cherry was a shrug and then slowly walking out of the house as if to lead the others. Sabo then turned to look at (Y/n) asking the same question to which (Y/n) only ended up shrugging too.
“I’m not sure. Sail with Ace and Whitebeard-san I’ve met a lot of people, so I don’t know.”
Sabo hummed in response as he began to follow Cherry outside. Something inside of (Y/n) made her so anxious, but something has her heart racing, palms sweating, and her legs aching. Something about this guest just had her body aching, as if she couldn’t sit still. In the back of her mind, a small voice continued to echo, but there was no way it could be true. He’s dead, he passed away 2 years ago. Last time (Y/n) you can’t raise the dead either. So with one last shaky sigh, (Y/n) began to make her way out the door and towards Sabo and Cherry. Trying to push back her feelings, it’s like this every time, always getting her hopes up only for them to come crashing down. She tries to keep her cool.
“So, does it look like anyone we know?” (Y/n) questioned, as she took a spot next to Sabo’s side. Sabo let out a small grunt as he squinted his eyes to see the figure. (Y/n) had followed suit. Just at the bottom of the hill stood a man with broad shoulders. He looked around confused as he stumbled around the bottom of the hill. A soft laugh left her lips as she watched him, he looks so out of place.
“I-I-I….I don’t wanna jump to conclusions here, (Y/n), but doesn’t that look like-“
It didn’t take long for the man to make eye contact with the 2 at the top of the hill. He starred for a moment as if he was taking in the view before he smiles brightly and slowly began to make his way up. As if the world has stopped around (Y/n). That smile. That was the same smile that started this whole adventure, that made her happy even on the saddest days, that was the same smile that she fell in love with.  It was hard to believe. As if time itself has stopped, (Y/n) stood there speechless. She couldn’t even muster a sound or a reaction. Something like this never happens, maybe one in a million but last time she checked the skeleton on Luffy’s crew was the one. This was impossible, it had to be a prank or something. This couldn’t be happening and just as (Y/n) had open her mouth and rat at the person standing below them a laugh echoed through the field. It was real, this is all real. That laugh was one she couldn’t and wouldn’t forget. That laugh belongs to her later lover,
“Ace.” Breathlessly and barely above a whisper was all she could do. She was scared if she said it any loud she would have started to cry right there. (Y/n) began to inch forwards slowly trying to wake her body up and tell it to move. God, if only she could wake it up faster. Soon enough those baby steps turn into bigger ones then fast ones, then finally she was running. She was running as fast as her feet could carry her down the hill. Tears swiftly fell from her eyes as she made her way to her lover. Maybe dreams do come true. After all these days, weeks, months of wishing, her wish came true. And even now it’s better than what she wished for.
Not being able to stop herself and not even trying to, (Y/n) jumped straight into Ace’s warm embrace for the first time in years. Automatically (Y/n) inhales deeply taking in Ace’s smell of burnt ambers and sunk deeper into his strong and warm embrace. By now she couldn’t help the waterworks from coming. Neither could Ace, the 2 of them held each other close, taking in each other scent and loving embrace. As if this moment latest forever, the 2 of them didn’t let go for as long as they could. However, (Y/n) can only cry so much into his shoulder before taking a deep breath. So barely pulling away and with a red-eyed and snot-filled face, (Y/n) smiled as she tried to speak up the loudest and clearest she could.
“Y-y-y-your… you’re alive!! Ace is alive. Your alive!!” (Y/n) cried as she tried to call out to the others however your attention was all on Ace. She was scared that if she looked away he would disappear, so she kept her around him and locked her eyes with his.
“I’m alive. I’m really alive.” Ace sobbed back keeping his eyes locked with (Y/n)’s. She didn’t even care if his voice has reached them, she doesn’t want it to reach them. All she wants is to be with Ace now. Smiling through her tears, she pulled her hand up to Ace’s cheeks and began to rub her thumb against his freckled cheeks feeling his rough skin against hers. Ace, still through his tears, smiled and hummed as he leads into her hand, enjoying the softness and warmth her hands had provided. This moment should last forever, they both wished. Just as (Y/n) has dropped her hand to his chest and was able to lean in to kiss his lips that she wanted to feel and taste once again, 2 pairs of very loud footsteps came behind them. Before the 2 of them could even react, 2 bodies came crashing down onto them.
“Ace!!” The 2 of them sobbed as all of the 4 bodies fell over in the grass. Both Luffy’s and Sabo’s sobs could be heard for miles, like (Y/n) and Ace, they couldn’t hold back their tears. So all 4 of them laid on the ground and just sobbed, they couldn’t do anything else. Each one of them held onto the other with such an iron grip, it was hard to breathe but nobody wanted to move. The only time they moved was when Ace pulled back and started at Sabo for a while trying to figure out who it was.
“S-s...sabo. Y-you’re alive too?!!” Ace gasped as he could feel more tears falling. Sabo looked up and smile at him, nodding. And Just with that simple nod both of the boys began to cry even harder and the hug got tighter. This whole hug was a mess, they were all crying loudly. People in the village soon came to even check on them but none of them cared. After 2 years each of their dreams had come true and nothing else mattered.
“Welcome home, Ace.”
~~
“Luffy don’t-!” (Y/n) tried to protest all she wanted, but as soon as she had put down the food, Luffy was all over it. And taking after his uncle, Estelle was right there digging into the food with Luffy. Let a heavy sigh past her lips as she walked back into the kitchen to get the rest of the food.
“Oi! Luffy save some for us!!” Ace’s voice rang through the house as a loud thump followed along with Luffy groaning in pain. Like music to her ears, hearing Ace’s voice once again causes (Y/n) so much happiness and relief. Having her black-haired lover back is the best feeling in the world.
After all 4 of them had somehow managed to stop the tears, they didn’t spend a moment from each other. Where ever one went the others always followed because they were all scared that if they left then Ace would disappear. Although, out of the whole reunion, being able to reunite Estelle with his father was the best part. Luckily he’s only 2 so things weren’t awkward and he was able to quickly adapt to Ace. Being again to finally introduce Ace to his son and Estelle to his father was by far the best part. It only made (Y/n) cry even more.
“Hey, Daddy you can’t hit Uncle Luffy. Mama will get mad at you.” Estelle laughed as he waved around the bone. Even the word was foreign to Ace, it still took him a while to get used to even being a dad. But after staring at Estelle for a moment, just taking in the fact that Estelle’s actually his kid. Ace chuckled and smiled.
“Oh, will she now? Last time I check, I think I can handle your mother when she’s angry.” Ace chuckled as he leads back in his chair and crossed his arms. She could cry just looking at him. After all these years he hasn’t changed a bit. Messy black hair, freckled skin, a huge smile that could light up the room. The only thing that had changed, was the giant burn mark on his stomach. It was huge and very upsetting but it’s not like Ace didn’t have scars from before. With one last shaky breath, (Y/n) pushed back any sadness she had and quickly replaced it with joy. There is no way (Y/n) was gonna be sad.
“You better think again fire boy.” (Y/n) had stated as she hit the back of his head while she took a seat next to him at the table. Ace hissed at the pain while Estelle laughed in response. Sabo and Luffy were quick to follow in suit. All their laughter sounded like music to her ear. There really wasn’t anything else she could wish for. Ace was back, she’s having dinner with her family, and she was happy. It was all too perfect, it was almost like this whole thing was a dream. God, (Y/n) was terrified that it was all just a dream. The thought of having them go back to a time where Ace was gone and that-
“Ouch.” (Y/n) hissed as she grabbed her arm. Looking over next to her, she saw Estelle gigging up at her. Estelle and his pinches are gonna be the death of her.
“You so deserve that for early. Good job, Estelle, you’re learning quickly.” Ace laughed out loud as he looked over at his son. Estelle smiled bright and laughed along with him. (Y/n) couldn’t even be mad, but she wasn’t about to let Ace get away with it.
“Oh, you watch it, because last time I checked Estelle was still a mommy’s boy just like his father.”
186 notes · View notes
inkmemes · 4 years ago
Text
ryan  ross  lyric sentence  starters ↪  taken  from  various  songs  he’s  written,  lyrics  he’s  sung,  &  poetry  he’s  penned.  trigger  warnings  for  mentions  of  sex,  cheating,  drugs.  alter  as  you  see  fit  ♡
“so close …”
“i am composing a burlesque.”
“i'm all alone in an afterglow.”
“but we haven’t even met yet.”
“this war ain't gonna fix itself.”
“you can’t be lonely.”
“you're gonna have to dig your way out.”
“she was nowhere to be seen.”
“some people never change.”
“i know i broke your heart. mine is broken too.”
“i'm carving pumpkins.”
“i'm afraid that i may have faked it.”
“though you tried to cut me down it wasn’t deep enough.”
“this may call for a proper introduction.”
“i know it’s mad.”
“all the lights are on, but no one's home.”
“a year ago, i was dreaming of where i am now.”
“charm your way out.”
“we're all too small to talk to god.”
“you’re invited.”
“it's not so pleasant.”
“if you're going, then go.”
“i was suspicious and naive.”
“we're still so young, desperate for attention.”
“things have changed for me, and that's okay.”
“that's the spirit.”
“watch your mouth.”
“it started with a simple kiss.”
“don't you move.”
“what a wonderful caricature of intimacy.”
“we'll never go hungry.”
“praying for love in a lap dance and paying in naivety.”
“i lie in silence and feel like a fool.”
“grab your hat and fetch a camera.”
“your eyes are the size of the moon.”
“it's time for us to take a chance.”
“you should take this heart of mine.”
“how did i get here in the right from wrong?”
“i know it just doesn't feel like a night out.”
“it just made her more interesting.”
“she didn't even see me.”
“do you know what i mean?”
“i'm wrecking this evening already, and loving every minute of it.”
“i sure do make an easy target.”
“someone i love loves someone else.”
“don't bother waiting up.”
“don’t you go down.”
“you vanished when you'd gotten what you came here for.”
“would it be alright if we just sat and talked for a little while?”
"when did he get all confident?"
“you know it will always just be me.”
“i feel the same.”
“all my forgotten poems are a joke.”
“she'd wanna kiss you all the time.”
“i want a big celebration.”
“i'll ignore my heart and lie to the truth.”
“film the world before it happens.”
“that's just ridiculously odd.”
“it grows like fancy flowers.”
“he tried to save the calendar business.”
“i wonder if this was physical or if it could have been in my head.”
“i wouldn't be caught dead in this place.”
“you're pulling the trigger all wrong.”
“i saw you, i met you, i loved you.”
“so let me set you free.”
“i'm aware that you're scared of my heart, but it's here.”
“northern downpour sends its love.”
“you better put that pen to paper.”
“if you're gonna preach, for god sakes, preach with conviction.”
“haven't you heard that i'm the new cancer?”
“i know i broke your heart.”
“i am something velveteen.”
“we're locked inside.”
“just don't put your teeth on me.”
“when i’m good, i’m the baddest.”
“i’m up, looking for you now.”
“you can call me tonight.”
“it sure as hell ain't normal.”
“haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?!”
“we sure are in for a show tonight.”
“can't take the kid from the fight.”
“she's got me twisted in love.”
“i could've waited for the train to come.”
“you could love me if i knew how to lie.”
“if it were me, i'd write another song.”
“i fell from the heavens as a fetish.”
“i am renewed.”
“i hope that i've still got your help.”
“take a look at what you got me into.”
“we should feed our jewelry to the sea.”
“who could ask for any more?”
“i'm pouring out my heart for paper.”
“i need to leave you but i never will.”
“i forgot how to call you.”
“just stay where i can see you.”
“it's the greatest thing that's yet to have happened.”
“i’m doing my best.”
“she didn't choose this role.”
“life is not a fairytale.”
“our loneliness will keep us warm.”
“i don't mind taking a photograph.”
“you're gonna bend until it breaks.”
“maybe something in my blood could lift my spirits up.”
“i am out of my mind.”
“imagine knowing me.”
“i hope it's where i belong.”
“is it still me that makes you sweat?”
“your speech is slurred enough that you just might swallow your tongue.”
“i must be lucky to have you be the one who loves me.”
“but who could love me?”
“you clicked your heels and wished for me.”
“give me your attention.”
“you set the house on fire.”
"man, it feels good to feel this way."
“i've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck then any boy you'll ever meet.”
“if the clouds were singing a song, i'd sing along. wouldn't you, too?”
“i know i've been wrong.”
“kissed a girl in the lobby ‘cause she asked so politely.”
“i can't get out by myself.”
“true love like ours is worth so much more than a diamond ring.”
“it never made her happy, 'cause she couldn't ever have me.”
“i do drunk dialing minus the alcohol.”
“i hope to god he was worth it.”
“he looked like he was barely hanging on.”
“why do i find myself outside at your window in the night?”
“i'd put a statue of myself upon the shelf.”
“they spill unfound from a pretty mouth.”
“ i'm going to need you to keep time.”
“you better back your shit up.”
“i think i owe it to you to try to be every hallucination you see in me.”
“you do this all the time."
“you're not what he's thinking of when he's with the other girl.”
things have changed for me.”
“this was no accident.”
“it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.”
“just sit back and relax.”
“i, for one, won't stand for this.”
“we play by donner party rules at all times.”
“the glitter is gone.”
“boys will be boys.”
“you're all that's left for me.”
“my mind is all mixed up.”
“who knew that love was a dangerous drug?”
“'she couldn't ever have me.”
“isn't this exactly where you'd like me?”
“we can play normal for a few days.”
“i ground my teeth and you bite your tongue.”
“in case i lost my train of thought where was it that we last left off?”
“it seems i’m someone i've never met.”
“i think i made you up.”
“it never gave a damn about me.”
“perhaps, i was born with curiosity, the likes of those of old crows.”
“i'm cold, i'm hungry, but i'm bored.”
“i don't want no gifts.”
“the monster mash is playing.”
“do you really even live here?”
“this kind of thing always happens.”
“you were right. i was wrong, like i always am.”
“i missed your skin when you were east.”
“i feel as if i’m a figurine.”
“every night is the same.”
“ i'm sure i didn't ruin her.”
“i could have sworn we danced slow before.”
“i'm seated and sweating to a dance song on the club's pa.”
“it's nice to think that you are always wanted.”
“am i who you think about in bed?”
“you'll never know until you're there.”
“come on, this is screaming ‘photo op’.”
“you and i will always be ‘the dream’.”
“any practiced catholic would cross themselves upon entering.”
“it was a scream when we were young and dumb.”
“i know i should've never left.”
“who can i believe?”
“she always had her fangs at my jugular vein.”
“and a few more of your least favorite things.”
“in matters of opinion, love has gone insane.”
“if i go to hell will you come with me or just leave?”
“in the house of mirrors, ain't nothing keep you safe.”
“you know that you feel it too.”
“now we're making some progress.”
“god damn, i’d hate to see what i’d do under the influence.”
“i’m only reflecting your perfections.”
“just a first kiss to face the new year.”
“we’ll sit in silence.”
“you're a regular decorated emergency.”
“euphoria is a risk on the floor.”
“she could never win me.”
“love is all i'm really after.”
“have some composure,.”
“this was a therapeutic chain of events.”
“on the hotel floor, drinking warm champagne.”
“we need to talk.”
“every word gets you a step closer to hell.”
“let me help you please.”
“i never said i missed her when everybody kissed her.”
“now i know it's just a matter of time until i make her come.”
“if the world were ending, would you kiss me or just leave me?”
“forgive me if i’m not quite ready to give them to you.”
“i want to know what everyone knows.”
“you told me not to fear the dark.”
“the weather is impeccable.”
“i don't love you, i'm just passing the time.”
“i can't help but to hear an exchanging of words.”
“love is established philosophy.”
“but it might’ve been the calm that comes before the storm.”
“let's sing it like you mean it.”
“there's a devil in the corner.”
“there’s never anything good on tv.”
“everything goes according to plan.”
“i ran from love like it was laced.”
“i guess we're back to us.”
“we can't help ourselves.”
“i remember fuckin' in the falling rain.”
“i wasn't born to be a skeleton.”
“i couldn't quit her.”
“everything's gone missing.”
“we must reinvent love.”
“i know it's sad that i never gave a damn about the weather.”
“what do i know?”
"the best part about you was me."
“check the pocket of my leather jacket.”
“i am truly made of one million glowing constellations.”
“i mean, technically our marriage is saved.”
“she's a dangerous place.”
“even the truth is wrong sometimes.”
“was it god who chokes in these situations?”
“i feel like something on strings.”
“she couldn't ever catch me.”
“i try not to think about it and you.”
“i know it's just a matter of time.”
“i can't prove this makes any sense, but i sure hope that it does.”
“you know you should take it a day at a time.”
“i never said i’d leave the city.”
“it's the greatest thing you'd ever imagine.”
“i might have lost control.”
“i'm in a rut but still adored.”
“i'll keep my distance.”
“i need to take a vacation.”
“it's almost halloween.”
“is it a fairy tale?”
“well, this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne.”
“you can't stand it.”
“i'm exactly where you'd like me, you know.”
“we were always thick as thieves, you and me.”
“maybe i will, maybe i won’t.”
“all i want to do is dig a hole with you.”
“stop stalling.”
“it truly is enough to be alive and be in love.”
“i can't believe my eyes.”
“if i were to die tonight, would you cry, or deny my place in your life?”
“you are at the top of my lungs.”
“things do like to build up and fall apart at the same time for me.”
“why can't we just be friends?"
“i never know where the evening goes.”
“i want to go where everyone feels the same.”
“i fell in love again.”
“all i do is lie.”
“they asked for it.”
“was it all a dream?”
“all your wishes, they will sink like stones.”
“i wandered through the sunshine.”
“living even one minute without you is a moment i'd rather not have to live to see.”
“i want to go where everyone goes.”
“i think that i have had enough.”
“asked to be her husband; she already had one in prison.”
“true love is scarce.”
“somehow it still came undone.”
“things are shaping up to be pretty odd.”
“is ‘young’ a word for ‘dumb’; a word for ‘fun’?”
“said i'd let you keep it forever.”
“i never said i’d leave this town.”
“guess i'm going to a party.”
“damn, this is rough.”
“someone should have told her that pretty ain't a job.”
“something changed along the way.”
“i can't convince myself that you were good for more than cheap thrills.”
“now i’m the only one to blame.”
“let's not get selfish.”
“i hardly knew a thing about you.”
“give your feet a chance, they'll do all the thinking.”
“make a name for yourself.”
“it's useless searching in the cupboards.”
“i won't cut my beard and i won't change my hair.”
“it’s just the end of the world.”
“back to the room where it all began.”
“what was it that you put into my guts?”
“what a shame.”
“we'll leave the past out to pasture.”
“i know the world’s a broken bone, but melt your headaches, call it home.”
“everybody knows it but you.”
“it looks like the end of history as we know.”
162 notes · View notes
bieddiediaz · 3 years ago
Text
humari adhuri kahani
our incomplete story.
this one brought to you by @alberthan, @diazchristopher, and yours truly. future fic, buck/eddie, unrequited love (sort of), angst.
It’s quiet. Buck would almost say too quiet, but the silence is nice sometimes.
(Especially when he’s here. Especially when he’s with Eddie.)
They’re working in tandem, Eddie rinsing off dishes and handing them to Buck, who dries them and puts them on the rack. It’s a routine they’ve followed a thousand times before – years and years of late nights, family gatherings, spending almost more time with each other than significant others. Something about the silence is tranquil, calming, and peaceful. It makes Buck want to lay himself bare in front of the one person who knows him inside and out.
Maybe that’s why it spills out of him tonight. After years of not addressing it, letting it sit between them, knowing but not speaking of it. Maybe the silence is what makes Buck honest. Things unsaid spilling over him like the water in the plate he’s rinsing.
He’s unnecessarily focused on drying the plate in his hands when he says, “You know what’s funny?”
Eddie looks at him curiously.
(Buck’s still staring at his plate.)
“I used to be in love with you.”
Eddie’s hands freeze where they’re rinsing off a bowl. He turns back to the sink. A moment passes; Buck sees a bitter smile creep up the edges of his face from the corner of his eye. There’s a pause before Eddie says, “I know.” Another pause. “But you knew that, didn’t you?”
Buck’s surprised Eddie wants to have this conversation, but, well. He was the one who opened this can of worms. He’s got no one to blame but himself. He shrugs once. “I suspected it. A part of me definitely did. But then… you were with Ana, and I found Taylor.” He pauses, thinking about her for a moment. She was supposed to be working late, but she’s probably home by now. Most likely settled in bed with her laptop, she has a presentation in two days. “I knew you didn’t love me back, so I thought it was best to move on. So we could both be happy.” Another pause. “We’re happy, aren’t we?” 
(He hopes he doesn’t sound as plaintive as he feels.)
Eddie’s finally looking at Buck. Buck can’t stand to look at the pain and longing on his face. He has to avert his eyes as he hears Eddie say, “Yeah, Buck. We’re happy.” 
(Buck almost wishes Eddie hadn’t said that.)
Silence settles over them once more. They get through most of the dishes before Eddie breaks it again. “After... the shooting in LA, after I broke up with Ana - actually, the reason I broke up with Ana - there was a period… where I was in love with you too.” He sighs. “But you had moved on, hadn’t you.” 
(It wasn’t a question. Buck tries to come up with an answer anyway.)
(He wonders, briefly, why the only thing surprising about this conversation is that they’re actually having it.)
He knows Eddie can hear the regret in his voice when he settles on, “Yeah.”
Eddie turns off the tap and dries his hands as Buck puts the last bowl on the rack. He takes the towel from Eddie and wipes his own hands as they finally turn to face each other properly. It’s Eddie who speaks again. “You know, Hen and Chim, they told me once.”
Buck frowns. “Told you what?”
Eddie sounds almost wistful. “ I- I wasn’t very…subtle about my feelings for you. They sat me down one day and told me that you loved me too and I should just tell you. Be honest with you.”
Buck stiffens and realises he’s been holding his breath. He lets it out in a rush. “What did you say?”
“I told them that I knew you. Better than anyone. You loved me. You used to.I knew that you did. And that you don't anymore.”
“Yeah.”
Eddie’s smile is tight. He bumps his shoulder to his in a soft touch. “Hey, but we’re happy now.”
“Yeah. Happy.” 
As if synchronised, they both move as one, pushing off the counter and walking to the living room; straightening up the remnants of the night and settling on the couch. Eddie picks up the remote and puts something on the TV.
(If asked, neither of them could tell you what it is.)
As he stares unseeingly at the TV, Buck can hear the echoes of Christopher’s laughter in the halls. He can feel the imprints of the years of memories, of coming home to Eddie, of Eddie coming home to him.
(The silence feels weighted now.) 
He doesn’t know how much time has passed before he speaks again. “Eddie, I -”
Eddie cuts him off. “Don’t say it.”
Of course, Eddie knows him better than he knows himself. Eddie knows what he’s thinking, what he’s wondering.
Still, he wouldn’t be Buck if he knew where to quit. “Do you think about it? What could’ve been different?”
Eddie doesn’t respond for a long moment. They’re still not looking at each other. The moment stretches on, the air feels heavier.
“Maybe.”
Buck glances at him and turns his head back to the screen. He can feel his thoughts take a bitter turn. “I guess we were young and stupid anyway.”
Eddie's voice cuts the air like a knife. “My love for you wasn’t.”
Eyes wide, Buck turns to Eddie, just to find Eddie’s already looking at him, a terrible fire burning in his eyes. Buck tenses, but Eddie seems to deflate just as quickly. He sounds resigned as he says, “Maybe we just weren’t meant to be.”
Buck can’t breathe. “Or maybe we were, but we missed our shot.”
Eddie’s smile is sad now. “Maybe.”
They turn back to the TV together. Buck still doesn’t know what’s playing. “In another life, perhaps.”
(What was worse: their vow of silence stretching the space between them, or the words that filled those spaces?)
“We could’ve been really happy.” It’s so quiet Buck almost doesn’t hear it.
“Or we would’ve crashed and burned.”
Eddie lets out a short laugh. “I’d like to believe not. I have more faith in us than that.”
“Yeah.”
Buck’s quiet for another moment. “I keep wondering. I know I shouldn’t. What if. If we hadn’t missed our chance, we could’ve had it all. We could’ve had everything.”
Eddie’s silent.
Buck can feel his thoughts going in a million directions. He doesn’t know what to think. It’s nothing new, this conversation, but there’s something about voicing these not-secrets they’ve always kept buried that has him breathless.
(And yet, he still feels calm. He always does, when he’s with Eddie.)
That’s probably why he needs to voice this too. “But, Eddie… you know I love you, right? You’re my best friend.”
Eddie smiles softly. “Back at you.”
“And… whatever else could’ve happened, I wouldn’t trade your friendship for anything. No matter what.”
“I love you, too.” 
(He does. Buck can feel it in his voice. It’s one thing Buck never doubted. Not once.)
(What was more painful: Eddie’s love for Buck, or the words he wished he’d said?)
Eddie’s not done. “And… I have everything I need. Getting to have you in my life, in whatever form, that to me is—everything I’ll ever want.”
Eddie’s fully looking at Buck now. “I’m sorry you had to hurt, though.”
Buck’s startled into laughter. “That’s not your fault.”
“I know. I’m still sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too.”
(They're both older, a little wiser, a little softer, more settled around the edges and in their own skin. They should know better. they should know to move on. They have moved on. But…they can't help but want to fall into the familiarity of each other, that comfortable feeling of being home that they only ever got from each other.
They might have moved on from each other physically and in every way that seems to matter, but their hearts haven't caught the memo yet. They probably never will. Because their love for each other is an intrinsic part of themselves now, no matter their circumstances in reality. no matter how foolish or hopeless it may be.
They weren't what each other wanted now; but it was like an itch under the skin waiting to be scratched. The overwhelming feeling of a longing they once both knew.
And yet.
They just can't do anything about it. And they won't.
They have partners. Lives.
Timing is truly a bitch.)
They sit there until the TV screen fades to black, whatever they were not-watching rolls credits.
The silence feels lighter now. Buck doesn’t feel bad about breaking it. “We were so different back then. Two people trying to survive themselves, build a home. Maybe this is what we’re meant to be like.”
“Wondering about the what ifs?”
Buck nods.
“Incomplete.”
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sestra-inestro · 4 years ago
Note
Pleaseeee can I request a Part2 of ‘you know and I know better’. Where Wanda says it’s okay for her and R to break up and then Nat finds R and R is devastated still because of Nat and they argue before R breaks down and tried to hard all hard but Natasha sees how badly hurt she is. This broke my heart please mend it
Heartbreak Hotel
A/N: So sorry this was so late dear reader. I think this was submitted right after I took a break. But here it is, it’s a little different than what you wanted. I also don’t ever react to cheating like this but I’m feeling mushy because I’m watching New Amsterdam. Thank you for this request.
Warning: mentions of suicidal thoughts or potential self harm/suicide, cheating, otherwise just possible typos: unedited.
Masterlist
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Another relationship left hanging. You just couldn’t catch a break.
Wanda sat on the other side of the bed, facing away from you as she listened to your sniffling.
She just told you that she was still in love with Vision, despite them not being a thing for a while.
In a way, you knew they would always be meant for each other. Maybe you just wanted to be selfish for a little while, just to be happy for yourself, even if it was with another Avenger.
“I’m sorry, June.” Wanda said softly. “I just can’t help my feelings.”
You wiped your nose and nodded your head.
“At least you told me, I’m grateful for that.” You said back in a husky voice. You didn’t think your heart could handle another beating like the one Nat gave you. You told her that it was okay, and with hesitation pain in her chest, Wanda left.
She left you there on the bed to break down by yourself like you wanted.
You grip your hair and fall back onto the bed to let your pain overcome you so you can move on.
-
Wanda moves back into the compound once she is done with everything at your house. Her and Vision can finally be together and they don’t try to hide it from everyone else. Nat stares at them in the kitchen as they attempt to prime Visions cooking skills again, making an absolute mess. Nat frowns to herself, Wanda was acting the same way she is with Vision now with you only a few months ago when she saw you two on her jog. She deliberately avoided that track so you wouldn’t see her and so she wouldn’t have the see the very confident pda that she was witnessing right now.
Tony waltzes into the kitchen with a whistle and spring in his step and stops at the displace of disgusting cuteness that she was staring at.
“Um, what? When did this happen?” Tony asks, I interrupting them.
“Oh, well it kinda just did.” Wanda says, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.
“Weren’t you with June?” Tony asks bluntly.
“Yeah, but it just didn’t work out. Me and Vision still had feelings.” Wanda says and Tony frowns at Vision, clearly wondering how Vision has feelings.
“So you broke up with June for Vision?” Nat says, not even bothering to hide the judgement in her voice.
Wanda glares at her. “At least I broke I with her first.”
The tension becomes very noticeably thick, Tony and Vision stand and stare at them both after Wandas dig at Nat.
Nat stands up, the chair behind her sliding against the floor loudly and she leaves. Everyone watches her go and wait until she’s left before moving again.
Tony turns to Wanda. “Y’ouch.” He says while cringing.
“What? You don’t think she deserved that?” Wanda asks him.
“I didn’t say she didn’t.” Tony nudges her with his elbow before standing to think about what it was he came in for. He shrugs before leaving the kitchen.
“I don’t think you were out of line. A bit blunt, though, but not out of line.” Vision pinches her chin and smiles at her. She smiles back and thinks about you. Of course she felt bad about hurting you again, but at least she broke up with you right.
Tony comes back into the kitchen, suddenly remembering his mission from before, breaking her out of her trace and forgetting about you again.
-
You had had your time to be in pain, but after a few days, you think it was finally time to pick yourself back up. Starting small, you gathered yourself up for the day and headed out to grab some lunch. You were actually going to sit outside and eat it by yourself, getting air. You went to your favourite food place and went to sit at the pond where the ducks always are. You haven’t been here in a while so you took this chance to enjoy it. The ducks swam up near you and you threw in some peas that you had brought from home.
As they ate, you ate. And when you finished, you just sat there.
At the end of the track, Nat was jogging and keeping an eye out for you. She knew that whenever you were happy or sad, you came here. You used to talk about the ducks and how they slowly became to trust you but she never actually came with you. She only jogged passed. But this time she was keeping an eye out. If only she had looked just to the left a little. If only she actually ran on the path she would have ran right in front of you. But she missed you. Just by a few steps.
Nat wasn’t about to let that let her down. Instead of running back to the compound, she ran straight to the address she has fished out of the system from when Wanda moved back in. The apartment block stood tall and dull, the perfect hiding spot for an Avenger, Nat guessed. She ran to the floor that your room was on and stood in front of the door. She took a deep breathe, remembering the last time you two actually spoke and cringed. She hung her head, remembering you coming into the room and seeing what her and Bucky had just done. She hadn’t given you the time of day in the last few weeks leading up to your breakup, why on earth should you give it to her now, especially if she never apologised.
But Nat swallowed her pride, there was no room for her to be embarrassed anymore and she needed to let you know that there was nothing wrong with you. You were not the reason the last relationships didn’t work and she was going to show you that.
She took another deep breathe and raised her fist, knocking hard on the wooden door.
Nat waiting for a second, listening for any sound of movement on the other side, hoping to hear your footsteps. But she heard nothing. She frowned and knocked again. You couldn’t have moved out already, it had only been a few days.
“June?” She called out, cringing at her voice saying your name again. “It’s Nat.”
Still nothing.
Nat stepped back to observe the door as a whole and looked up and down the hallway. It was quiet like no one else lives here. Thoughts begin to run through Nat’s head and she starts to worry, she should know better but she can’t help but think of the possibilities that could’ve happened. You could just be out. But it also only takes one push to get someone over the edge. She remembers seeing a fire escape of the side of the building and she needed to get in to see if you were okay.
In ten minutes she was on your apartment through the fire escape window. Moving quickly she checked both the bedroom and the bathroom. The apartment was empty and in a way, Nat was relieved.
She sighs and puts her hands on her hips, observing the your living space. She is totally invading your privacy right now but she couldn’t help but smile a little when the apron in the kitchen caught her eye. I loved to cook and she thought that the apron would be the perfect gift for you, because of its ‘sweet but salty’ saying on the front. She had given it to you late because she was too busy being an Avenger. Her pity thoughts come to an abrupt end when the sound of keys jingling in the keyhole and a lock turning came from the front door. Nat stood paralysed as you walked through the door.
You sighed walking through your door and drop the half empty bag of frozen peas. “Damn it. You grumble and bend down to pick it up. You see a shadow move on the floor and quickly lift your gaze. You freeze, seeing Nat trying to get out of the fire escape quietly.
“What the fuck, Natasha?” You yell and Nat jumps.
She turns her head to look at you sheepishly. “Hi.”
“What the hell are you doing in my apartment?”
“I just wanted to see if you were okay. I heard about you and Wanda-“
“I’m peachy.” You cut her off. “Now you can leave.”
Nat sighed and went to walk passed you to the front door but you took your key out and slammed it shut. “Nope. The way you came in.” You pointed to the window and crossed your arms.
“Are you serious?” Nat huffed at your attitude.
“Deadly.” You stared her down.
Nat sighed at your glare. “I just wanna talk.”
“I have nothing to say to you.” You voice was hard.
“Then please just listen?” Nat asked.
You gave a little huff but stayed quiet.
“I know that what I did was wrong. I was horrible at the end of our relationship. And I wish I could go back and change how I handled it and how I treated you.” Nat said. You advert your eyes down to the floor, you didn’t have it in you to fight and you wanted to be better. But you also know that your relationship with Wanda was somewhat of a distraction from your breakup with Nat.
“I just need you to know that you are not the problem. What happened with me and with Wanda was not your fault. And I am so sorry. I would treat you right if I had the chance again. You’re an amazing person.” Nat said before touching your arm and giving it a slight squeeze.
You squeezed your eyes tight in response as she walked passed you and went out the front door.
You didn’t know what to do. You thought of what you would’ve said to Nat a millions times if you ever saw her again, but you couldn’t say any of it. You frowned to yourself as you went over her words. You didn’t think twice as you reached for your phone.
-
Nat kicked herself for breaking into your apartment. She should have just trusted that you take care of yourself, not allowing a woman to bring you down that hard. She didn’t jog back to the compound but she sped walked, passing by the people quick feeling like she needed to give you more space.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket by her hip and she rolled her eyes, thinking it’s Steve with mission info. She pulls it out of her pocket and sees the message is from you. She stops her steps and reads the message.
June - Was that you asking for another chance?
Nat didn’t know how to take your words.
Natasha - No, but I wouldn’t oppose to it. I also don’t want to overstep.
She waited to see if you would answer her back, wanting to give you the decision.
June - Do you want to come tell me how good of a person I am some more?
Nat smirked to herself a little before turning around and heading back to your apartment.
288 notes · View notes
deceitfuldevil · 4 years ago
Text
Do I Wanna Know?
Pietro Maximoff X Reader
Summary: You and Pietro’s friendship could best be described as a relationship that never was, it was constant flirting that you both brushed off as just a very close friendship. A friendship so close that sometimes you flirt with others, so when feelings get hurt; dynamics are crushed. But those who are meant for each other will always come crawling back. Vaguely based off the song “Do I Wanna Know?” by the Arctic Monkeys.
Warnings: Slight angst, kissing, fluff, all that :)
Word Count: 2.3K
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It all started when you first joined the avengers, a few months after the battle of Sokovia. Tony had a last minute thing with Pepper and assigned Pietro Maximoff to show you around the compound, which he initially whined over. Not wanting to do anything more than stay in bed on his day off, he begged Wanda to take over for him. She agreed under the circumstance that he’d make dinner for a week.
Sitting on the couch watching whatever was on TV at the moment, Pietro munched on some chips, enjoying his day off to its fullest extent. He heard some chattering behind him and turned his head to see his sister Wanda and another woman with her head turned the other way, who he could only assume was the newest member to the team. Waving a small hello to his sister he turned back around and continued his program, but of course Wanda wouldn’t let him off that easy.
“Ahem,” Wanda said, clearing her throat as she now stood next to the couch Pietro sat on with the newest recruit, you.
“Y/n, this is my brother Pietro. Pietro, this is the newest addition to the Avengers, Y/n.” she said with a smile, mentally slapping her brother for being so lazy. Pietro gave you and Wanda a half-assed glance ready to wave you off, but he did a double take when he saw you. Choking slightly on his chips he stood up abruptly and brushed himself off, extending his hand out to yours.
You started to feel hot under his gaze as you gladly accepted his hand and shook it; he had a firm grasp that made you want to melt into the ground.
“So, what’s your thing printcessa?” He asked smoothly, slipping his hand out of yours, making you frown slightly as the loss of contact. But then you quirked your head to the side, not understanding his question.
“He means, what powers do you have?” Wanda interjected, clarifying his question.
“Oh you know, telekinesis, super strength, some healing abilities, the usual.” you joked
“Hey we could’ve really used you a few months ago during the battle of Sokovia. This asshole nearly got himself killed!” Wanda said, raising her eyebrows at her brother.
“Ahh sister you worry too much, I was fine!” Pietro insisted, waving her off.
“Sure you were. . . we’re going to finish this tour now okay?” Wanda said, turning around and getting ready to show you the rest of the compound. But of course Pietro had something to say about that.
“And take this gorgeous new Avenger away from me? You know Tony assigned me to show her around, right? So rude of you to just steal her away like that. . .” Pietro said, rushing to your side and taking your hand, pulling you along.
“I thought you wanted to-”
“Sorry! TV is too loud, I can’t hear you!” Pietro said running off with you, making you giggle.
The rest of the tour Pietro slipped in little compliments and flirty touches; in fact, the rest of your time there was practically the same. You had an innate attraction to Pietro, and he was drawn to you from the moment he laid eyes on you. But yet, nothing ever actually happened between the two of you, which quite frankly annoyed the hell out of the team. Having to constantly watch you two flirt and cuddle as if it was nothing was borderline ridiculous.
It’s been four months since you’ve joined the avengers and your tension with Pietro was higher than ever, and with another successful mission down Tony decided to host another one of his famous parties. You saw this as the perfect opportunity to look irresistible for Pietro, but when you walked out onto the dance floor in your sexiest dress and saw Pietro at the bar with some blonde bimbo caressing his muscles, and you damn near lost it.
Rationally, you had no right to be angry at all. You and Pietro weren’t an item, you never were. But seeing him in such close proximity to some girl who's name he probably didn’t even know practically made steam come out of your ears. You disregarded your fellow teammates saying hello to you as you entered the party and the compliments thrown your way as you made your way towards Pietro, ready to give him a piece of your mind.
But you were too late, no more than 10 feet away from Pietro the nasty blonde he was with pulled him in for a sloppy kiss. You watched in horror and pain as you felt your heart break into a million and one pieces. You rushed off to your room before any tears could spill from your eyes, staying there for the rest of the night as the party raged on, only imagining the worst in your head about Pietro and that bitch he was with.
What you didn’t see was Pietro promptly pushing the blonde away from him, and Wanda finding her brother soon after slapping him across the face.
“What the hell, Pietro?!” Wanda shouted at her brother, drawing attention from the others at the party.
“Suka! What was that for?!” He exclaimed, holding the left side of his face in pain.
“That was for kissing that girl when you know Y/n’s been pinning after you for months!” She yelled, not caring about the excess attention from the others.
“She doesn’t feel that way about me. We've been over this a thousand times Wanda!” He fired back, anger and hurt lacing his voice.
“Yes she does! Did you forget I can read minds?” She said rolling her eyes, a little red glowing in them. Pietro got quiet and turned away from his sister.
“You better go and apologize to her and tell her how you really feel before she changes her mind after what she just saw!” Wanda pointed out, causing her brother to rush off, leaving streaks of blue in his place.
You sat with your back pressed to your door as you sobbed quietly, jumping when you heard a knock behind you.
“Y/n?” You heard Pietro call out. You sighed and rolled your eyes.
“I don’t have any condoms Pietro, go ask Sam.” You said bitterly.
Standing on the other side of the door your words were like knives in Pietro’s chest; he wanted to respond and tell you how he really felt, but after your harsh comment he turned away and went back to his room. Wanda visited him when the party was over and he gave her the same bitter attitude you had given him hours ago.
“I don’t know what part of her head you looked into but she definitely doesn’t feel the same way, so thanks a lot.” Pietro said harshly, making Wanda leave without another word.
Things were a lot different in the compound after that night. You and Pietro were no longer lovey-dovey, now holding nothing but contempt towards one another. It changed the whole dynamic of the team, none of them knowing how to act around you two now, or even what happened.
It had been about three weeks since you and Pietro last spoke to each other, and here you were at 3am sitting on the couch crying while you ate ice straight out of the carton. You sat silently as the tears streamed down your face, jumping when you felt a hand on your shoulder. Turning around you saw a very tired looking Wanda.
“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” You asked quietly.
“No, but your thoughts did. I never knew someone’s thoughts could be so loud when they’re heartbroken.” Wanda said, sitting down next to you.
“Pfshh, I’m not heartbroken! What in God's name are you talking about?” You said casually, pushing your emotions back down as you set the container of ice cream down on the table in front of you.
“You know, he’s torn up too.” Wanda said, turning to face you.
“And you expect me to believe that why?” You asked, neither of you noticing the new presence that stood in the kitchen.
“Did both of you magically forget I can read minds?” She asked with a laugh, making you feel small.
“Okay well even if he did have feelings for me at one point there’s no way he still feels that way. If he did he wouldn’t have let that girl kiss him at the party,” you said bitterly.
“You have no idea how much he regrets that, and for the record that blonde kissed him. He pushed her off after you ran away.” Wanda explained, putting more hope than you’d cared to admit in your heart.
“He’ll come crawling back to you soon enough, I promise.” she said with a small laugh, patting your back as she got up and left you alone on the couch. Wondering if your feelings for Pietro flowed both ways.
A little more than a week had passed since that night as you were constantly tormented by the question, “Do I wanna know?” because if Pietro did feel the same way towards you at one point, how would the recent events change how he feels for you now?
However now was not the time to dwell on the question racking your head; now you were on a mission with the rest of the team getting some much needed intel from what you thought was an abandoned HYDRA base. But when gunfire erupted you immediately took cover and soon followed Steve’s orders to fall back and head to the quinjet. Running back you tripped and fell face first into the dirt. Getting up you winced as you looked around and saw the last person you’d want hurt.
“Pietro’s shot!” You scream into your comms as you crawled next to him as he laid up against a tree, falling in and out of consciousness. You started to cry worrying your powers wouldn’t be enough as you placed your hands over his wounds, mustering all of the power you could. You thought all hope was lost until you heard a loud gasp as Pietro grabbed onto you and held you close to his chest.
“It’s okay Pietro, I’m here, you’re alright,” you whispered as you started to feel very tired. He ran his fingers through your hair as he stared down at you, in awe of your abilities. You looked back at him with tired eyes.
“I’ll always come crawling back to you,” you said as sleep took over your body. Pietro took it upon himself to speed your sleeping figure back to the quinjet, setting you down as you snored softly. He admired you, but only for a minute as Wanda embraced him in a big hug from behind.
“You have got to stop making the sacrifice play, brother.” she said, more than relieved that he was okay.
“Now I just might. I wouldn’t want to put this beauty under so much stress again right?” He joked, motioning to your sleeping figure. Wanda smiled brightly at him.
“You better not mess this up again, otherwise I’m finding her a more suitable partner.” Wanda joked, punching her brother in the arm playfully.
“No one is more perfect for her than I.” Pietro said with a cocky tone. Wanda only sighed in response, not wanting to admit that he was right.
-
You woke up slowly in a dimly lit room; looking around you saw a familiar man with silver hair asleep in the corner of what you now recognized as the compound’s recovery room. You smiled contently as you used your telekinesis to bring the chair he slept in next to your bed. You reached out for his hand and gently ran your fingers over his knuckles, sighing tranquilly
Pietro slowly awoke as you just stared shamelessly at him.
“Dragosté!” Pietro exclaimed, now fully awake, jumping up and embracing you in a tight hug. He pulled away but kept his close distance, his hot breath fanning over your face as your eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips. A few more stolen moments passed by before Pietro closed the space in-between you two and pressed his soft lips to yours. Moving lazily against each other he slowly pulled away and rested his forehead on yours.
“I’m so sorry for everything, I should’ve seen it sooner.” he said sweetly, pressing another kiss to your cheek as you smiled.
“It’s okay, you’re here now and that’s all that matters.” you said, bringing your hand up to the side of his face, admiring his cobalt blue eyes. His eyes filled with the most love-struck look you’d ever seen as he pressed his lips back on yours, grinning from ear to ear.
You’d have some explaining to do to your other teammates in the morning when they’d inevitably find you both sleeping together in the cramped hospital bed though.
-
Hi all!! I hope this short imagine was fun for you all to read! Some of my more recent one-shots have been getting a lot of attention lately and it makes me so happy! I am over the moon that I’m not only writing again but gaining some traction. Thank you all so much! Don’t forget that my requests are open and feedback is encouraged! Also I just hit 100 followers and I know it’s not much but I’ll be starting a sleepover tomorrow!
Much Love,
-Skyler
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spenciegoob · 4 years ago
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The 4 Types of Manipulation
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A/N: hey hey hey cuties... just thought I’d drop in to tell you I love you and Harry Styles at the Grammy’s, oh and Miley Cyrus in general. Okay that’s it.
Summary: Spencer has to interrogate an unsub, but she has a few tricks up her sleeve.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Unsub!Reader
Category: Not fluff, but not angst... angsty fluff? fluffy angst?
Content Warning: mentions of murder, manipulation, mentions of sex in the form of flirting, mentions of drug use, mentions of emotional abuse
Masterlist
Word Count: 2.8K
____
Nobody dared to take a breath out of place, every profiler was packed into the room watching with careful eyes at the sobbing girl in the interrogation room through the glass. No one knew what their first step should be, but I guess there’s a first time for everything, right? Winging it was not something anyone in the BAU enjoyed doing, each case needed a thought out plan.
But they’ve seen this unsub before, they know the profile, the history, they know her. So why was she crying so hard that the weight of her head became unbearable, leaving her only option to sob into the crooks of her elbows as best as she could with wrists cuffed to the table?
Nobody knew, except for Spencer Reid.
Emily was hesitant, as expected, to blindly send in one of the best agents she’s ever seen into the room that with each tear shed slowly morphed into a lion’s den. Reid deserved better, she knew that, especially since the last time they dealt with an unsub like this one, Spencer had to be so far out of the loop that the case almost broke him.
He put up a good fight though, and if the determination set in his eyes wasn’t enough to inform the unit chief that she was not winning this argument, his deviance to storm through the door, startling the young woman chained down definitely did.
Why was it always Spencer?
Tears:
“P-please, I didn’t do anything.” Those were the first words anyone’s heard her say since the arrest, even if they were separated by sniffles and choked out sobs. 
Spencer just stared down at her, not taking the risk to further entertain the stuttering girl with wet cheeks and tired eyes.
“I promise I’m not a murderer. You have to believe me, please.” That promise whispered so quietly made with unbreakable eye contact urged him to take a second to reevaluate the situation.
She was apprehended in place of Jacob Hughes, the man they had originally been looking for. There was a chance she wasn’t complicit, a chance she was innocent. Maybe Jacob placed a hair of hers at the latest crime scene because he knew they were closing in.
Or maybe she is just as sick as he is. 
“Prove it,” Spencer said, his tone loud and assertive, leaving no room for argument. She didn’t plan on fighting his demand anyway.
“I- I haven’t seen Jacob for days. He drugged those men, and did h-horrible things. Those poor men.” This struck a nerve, everybody could tell, even the one person in this interaction that wasn’t a profiler. 
Spencer’s shoulders tensed for a millisecond, but she saw it. She saw what her words were doing to him, after all, he used to be one of those poor men she felt so sorry for.
Another loud sob echoed off the concrete walls before she bit her bottom lip and took a deep breath.
“I can’t believe he mur... did that to them. H-how could he?” Spencer watched as the young girl looked up to him like he held the answer to the million dollar question. He studied the way her eyes bounced around his face, looking for something, anything to relieve some confusion when it came to her fiancé.
“Jacob Hughes is what we call a vindictive narcissist and a sadist. He receives pleasure from hurting others, and in this case, drugging and torturing men because he feels he’s been wronged his whole life. The question, however, is why. I know you know, just like how I know you’re aware of his crimes.”
It was a blow so low it could’ve come from hell itself. Spencer regretted it immediately when he watched the way her whole body stiffened at the mention of her knowledge, but he had to be certain no matter the fallout.
“I-I still don’t understand. I’ve never seen him hurt anyone.” Denial, guilt and fear all jam packed into 3 little words that had his heart dangerously close to breaking. The sorrow in her eyes believable enough that Spencer left his standing position between the suspect and the door to sit directly across from her.
She watched his movements with careful eyes, only stealing glances from her peripherals before returning to her cuffed wrists.
“Maybe you’ve never seen him physically hurt anyone, but we know what he does to you.” It was the first and only time Spencer let any emotion, as fake as it was, show in his responses. How could he not try when the girl resumed her sobbing at the implication of her past deception from the man she loves? 
“You know nothing,” she whispered back, her tone laced with defensive anger.
“I know everything.” Was he challenging her?
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Was she challenging him?
“You know what it means.” Yes, he was.
“Do I?” Yes, she was.
The two stared at each other for the entire tone shift in the stuffy interrogation room. The other profilers on the other side of the mirror had no knowledge of how thick the tension had just become because unlike Spencer, they weren’t standing in the middle of it.
Small sniffles were the only noise breaking through the quiet until suddenly, they just stopped.
“Ugh, fine! You win this round. My eyes are starting to hurt from all this goddamn crying. Do people actually cry this much when you arrest them?”
Spencer leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms to clearly convey just how unamused he was with the girl’s antics. She watched him intently, picking apart every move down to the muscle trying to search for any indicators that her little performance worked even a fraction of what she was hoping for.
And she got her wish in the form of the agent’s fingers tapping lightly at his sides under perfectly muscular, if she may add, arms, because any other movement would have been too obvious.
Spencer Reid was getting nervous, because the second her facade faded, he lost the upper hand. She just had to get him trapped in here.
“Oh come on. Not even a ‘good job’? I wasn’t expecting full blown applause, but some appreciation for that show would be nice.” Still, Spencer gave her nothing. He needed her to keep talking, and filling silence was a sure way to make certain she did just that.
“I’ll tell you what you need to know, but first you have to admit that I had you fooled for a second there.”
Lies:
“No.” Unexpectedly, instead of getting frustrated with Spencer’s refusal to play along, she just smiled brighter. This was exciting to her, and it was getting on his nerves.
“What gave it away? Did I look to the left before I spoke or something?” Spencer kept his mouth shut. “Come on, what’s my tell? Enlighten me.”
She copied his movements as Spencer leaned over the cool, metal table slightly, eyes racking over her face, lingering on certain parts for longer than others.
“No.” At this, she huffed back in her seat, leaving the close proximity that would later be used as a secret tool against the doctor before he had the chance to catch on. 
“If you’re just going to shut down every single one of my proposals, then why am I here?”
“You’re here because you’re a suspect in a series of 7 murders in the past 5 weeks.” She perked up at his words, amusement dripping from her features.
“Finally, Doc has something more to say than just ‘no.’ Tell me, was that so hard?”
“No.”
“Ugh!” Rolling her eyes would be giving ammo to the enemy, but the urge to do so was quite strong. In fact, she almost did until she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the one way mirror.
“I’m serious when I say this,” she said, looking directly into Spencer’s eyes so he couldn’t accuse her of lying. “If you take the cuffs off, I’ll answer everything.”
“No.”
“Please! They’re seriously starting to hurt. I put 100% into that performance, and now it’s coming back to bite me in the-”
“Fine!” Spencer stood up carefully, not walking around the table until he was certain the girl wasn’t a flight risk, or worse. When he did finally make his way over, she sat completely still, not taking her eyes off where his fingers grazed hers as the handcuffs unlocked.
A breath of relief escaped her as she rubbed her wrists with the opposite hands, eventually feeling the blood fully return to all 10 fingers.
“Thank you.” It was so vulnerable and raw that it knocked Spencer back for a second. They locked eyes, and something deeper than he was ready for passed between them.
He didn’t know what it was, all he knew was that he hated it so much that he tore his eyes away immediately to return back to his original spot seated across from her.
“Answer me this-”
“I’m gonna stop you right there.” Neither of them spoke for far too much time, and Spencer was growing more annoyed by the second.
“What?” It came out harsh, and mean, and downright cruel, but he couldn’t care less.
“Oh nothing, I just wasn’t going to answer anything. I really just wanted to fix my hair.” And, in being true to her words this time, she secured her hair into a messy bun using the elastic Spencer didn’t even realize was missing from his wrist.
“I’m putting the cuffs back on.”
“No wait,” she pleaded, halting Spencer’s move to get up. “They really did hurt, I wasn’t lying about that.”
“I don’t care.” He made his way over, forcefully grabbing both of her wrists before securing the handcuffs back on. Spencer only regretted his actions slightly when she winced at the metal now back to pressing into her skin.
“Yes you do. It’s your biggest flaw.” Instead of answering, Spencer just returned to his seat, leaning back with crossed arms. He didn’t need to listen to a psychopath tell him his flaws.
“You care too much,” she continued, not minding if he was listening or not. “It gets you hurt, other people hurt. I wish that wasn’t the case. You deserve better, Doc.”
Spencer didn’t engage, opting to gawk tiredly at the suspect, and watch the way her eyes flicker across his features, gauging for a reaction. She wasn’t done.
“Hey, okay, fine. I’m just messing with you,” she laughed, finally breaking her serious facade. “What? A girl can’t joke around while she’s being accused of murder?”
“Accused? Or caught?”
“Accused.” It was final, her tone immediately dropping to a fiery rage. Her defenses were up, and Spencer was never really good at playing on the offensive team.
This time, it was Spencer’s turn to analyze, watching the way the blood rushed to her cheeks with her rising anger level. How all of a sudden her eyes lost their playful glint, giving him the chance to fully see the soul buried deep in them. For a split second, she was completely unveiled right before his eyes.
Spencer, clearly not anticipating just how long the girl in front of him could hold her own, used his last bullet.
He placed the crime scene photos in front of her.
“You know who did this.” It wasn’t a question, he saw it in her eyes. Spencer watched the way they remained stoic even after looking at the bloody walls, and vacant eyes of the deceased.
“No.” Oh, how the tables have turned.
“Who are you protecting?” Her head shot up at his question, eyes flashing red before she blinked it away again. Subconsciously, she started to pick at her fingernails.
“No one.” It was a lie if he’s ever heard one. 
Fear:
“You’re lying. Who is it?” 
“I’m not lying.” She wouldn’t even make eye contact with him. Instead, she gave her undivided attention to her shaky hands confined to the table.
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not!”
“Enough! Who are you protecting?!” At this, Spencer stood up and slammed his hands against the table with a strong amount of force that she flinched hard enough to further irritate her wrists.
He felt awful, the bouncing back and forth between them should have given him enough indicators that she wasn’t lying out of spite. But he couldn’t back down, he had her cornered and her only way out was to tell the truth.
“No one.” She wouldn’t look at him, even as she whispered. “Please stop.”
Spencer truly believed that he had her in a bind, an inescapable one at that, but it wasn’t the truth. Oh no, what the profiler failed to realize was she had him where she needed him.
“I have no information to give you,” she whispered before tagging along. “I’m sorry.” It was the first time she apologized for something Spencer could have seen as an inconvenience.
He believed her, too.
“I shouldn’t have yelled.” That was his form of an apology. Spencer wasn’t going to go any further with it, even if she was coerced into lying by whoever the true unsub is, she was still getting on his nerves.
Her hands were still shaking at this point, and she wouldn’t meet his eyes. Spencer just slumped back into his seat, settling into the silence between them until ultimately he was either called out of the room, or she gave him another indication that her game hasn’t ended.
A loud sigh bounced off the walls. “I don’t care that you yelled in my face. You think it’s the first time a man’s done that? You’re not special, Doctor.”
“I never said I was.” So the game carries on, but this time, she didn’t smile at his sarcastic response. Leaning back in her chair, she huffed a breath before continuing.
“You really want to be though, don't you?”
Lust:
She was pushing his buttons, trying so hard to dig under his skin till she was unremovable. She wanted Spencer to leave this room with her on his mind for the rest of his days.
She was close too.
“No, I don’t,” Spencer deadpanned, trying to keep a cool tone. If he continued to hand her the ammunition she needed, he would be left defenseless.
“Oh come on, loosen up. I was just joking.”  A smirk grew across her features, a thought crossing her eyes. One Spencer knew would not be in favor of his win tonight. “I could help you with that, you know.”
“No, I don’t know.” He did. Spencer wasn’t going to lie to himself and say that the woman sitting across the table wasn’t extremely attractive; she was. He just would never admit it aloud.
“I have a feeling you like to get rough, don’t you, Doctor?” She asked, sitting up and crossing her legs. The stare shared between the two of them was a mix between passion and anger, meeting in the middle to create a new kind of emotion.
“Is this fun for you?” She left out bait, and Spencer was stupid enough to fall for it. Emily once said that a pretty face slashed his IQ in half.
He couldn’t help but agree.
“Undo these cuffs, and I’ll show you what fun is.” She was toying with him now, and they weren’t going to get anywhere, but Spencer couldn’t find it within himself to get up and leave. She had him by the...
“I’m going to get that confession.” It was like he was five years old again, arguing on the playground with the older kids about how their insults didn’t make sense.
“What’re you going to do, punish me?” She asked, the last words in a hushed whisper. When Spencer’s cheeks grew hotter, and his eyes darker, she knew she had him.
“You do like to get rough! My, my, Doctor, you're keeping me at the edge of my seat here.” She let out a boisterous laugh before really digging the knife deeper. “Is that why you kept the cuffs on?”
Before he could snap back, the door flew open and Emily stood there with a tablet in her hand. “You need to see this.”
Spencer got up to leave, thankful for the reprieve even if he did have to return to the interrogation after speaking with Emily. He almost made it to the door before a voice called out behind him.
“Wait!” She called after him, the cuffs rattled when she instinctively went to reach for Spencer. “Aren’t you going to answer my question, Doctor.”
Playing chess his whole life, Spencer had never once played a game where Checkmate presented itself unexpectedly. He was always at least three moves ahead in his mind, seeing the inevitable end before he even began his gameplay. There was a first for everything, because his last move suddenly arose.
“No.”
_____
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suchalonelysunflower · 3 years ago
Note
“Please, you can’t die now” for Ashton?
A/N: This will be a heavy topic. I have been trained as a first responder in my country and if you want to become one, please get informed on how to do it in your country. I will leave some resources of information here.
Not Ready (a.i)
Pairing: Ashton Irwin x fem! Reader
Warnings: Angst. Mentions of characters death. Language. Hospitals. Resuscitation. Trauma
Remember that Reblogs, Feedback, Comments and likes are very important and help a lot 💕 Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🦋🌻✨
Disclaimer: this is one of the realest angst I’ve written. It’s based on a irl experience of mine and a story time I saw on YouTube from creators I admire. Read with caution.
My materialist // wanna be part of my taglist?
Suchalonelysunflower 1K+ Celebration
It was very quiet, too quiet. And you didn’t know if you liked it.
In all the nights you slept next to Ash he was never quiet, but you got used to his snores by now, almost to the point where you found it hard to sleep when he was not around. But tonight he was quiet, and it was a sudden kind of quiet, the one that could make goosebumps appear by the side of your neck.
First, you thought he was asleep, although sleep hasn't come easy for him lately. A few days ago he started to have a horrible cough caused by the smoke in the air of L.A, a common occurrence thanks to the fires and the heat, but the coughs were so bad it almost prevented him from getting any sleep at all. He was coughing not too long ago, maybe a few hours ago? maybe minutes? So the silence unsettled you to the point of near desperation.
Something was wrong, you could feel it.
“Ash?” You asked in a whisper, but he wasn’t answering “Ash? Are you alright?” Still, no answer.
You could hear the sirens going out at the back of your head “Something’s wrong” They said, “Has it ever been this cold?”
You turned immediately, finding Ashton laying on his back with his eyes closed in a peaceful frame, but that didn’t make you jump out of the bed. No, it was the fact that his chest was not moving that got you up on your feet in less than a second.
“Ash!” You yelled but you got no response.
His hands were cold and clammy, a greyish color tinting them as you could feel him slip away. And you were not going to let that happen.
It took you less than a second to call 911 and put it on speaker as you took off the sheets from his body and started compressions, thanking every god there was for that class you took to become a first responder.
You counted in your head each second that passed you by, measuring your compressions to the beat of that old song, 1, 2, 3… till you got to thirty, laying down to breathe into his mouth a couple of times before starting all over again.
All the weight of your body was pushed through the heels of your hands, pressing firmly and steady into Ashton’s chest.
“C’mon baby!” You cried, feeling how your tears fell from your eyes into his chest “Please, you can’t die now! C’mon!”
In the back of your head you could already hear the front door opening and the heavy footsteps of the paramedics climbing up the stairs, but not once did you stop until you heard the “M’am! Please step away, we’ll take it from here”
You felt a hand wrapping around your arm and pulling you away from Ashton’s body as another paramedic took your place and started doing compressions.
“Please, help him!” You yelled between sobs as the other paramedic led you out of the room and closed the door “Please!”
“Ma’am,” The paramedic said, “Is there someone that you could call? You shouldn’t be alone”
“M-my phone,” You stuttered through a cry “My phone is in the room”
The lady nodded and walked right back into the room, just in time for you to hear a “I can’t find the pulse!”
You felt the way your knees gave out as you fell to the ground, sliding your back down the wall as earth-shattering sobs ran through your body and made you shake uncontrollably
Ashton can’t die. He can’t. He’s barely in his twenties, he has so much to live for! His fans, his friends, his family… How are you going to tell Anne Marie about this?! What can you say? What can you do? It was only a cough! And now he was-
“Here,” The lady said, handing you the phone and placing a hand on your shoulder. “We’re doing everything we can. But I have to tell you that it doesn’t look too good and that you should probably call someone to be here with you. The police were already informed and they’re on their way”
“P-police?”
She nodded “It’s the law to call them when-” But she didn’t finish the phrase, she didn’t have to. You already knew why.
With shaky hands, you called the first number that came through your head, the only one you knew would pick up this late and that would be here the fastest. If what you thought was happening was really happening, then you knew he would want to be the first one to know.
“Hello?” Calum picked up immediately, and despite his sleepy voice, you already knew he was up from his bed “Y/N? It’s two a.m. What’s happening?”
But you couldn’t even say it. How could you say it? How do you tell someone that his best friend might be-
“Y/N?”
“It’s Ash. He’s- He-” You managed to say between the sobs, breaking down completely.
“I’m on my way” Was all Calum could say before ending the call as he sprinted to his car.
You sat there with your knees pressed to your chest, hearing the muffled voices of the people that were surrounding your bedroom.
A million things were running through your head as you cried silently. You felt a crushing pain through your shoulders but you paid no mind to it, after all that pain will disappear with time, but the pain of losing Ash? How could you ever come back from that?
You weren’t ready. You weren’t ready to say goodbye, you weren’t ready to let him go and live your life without him. It was too soon, too sudden. It didn’t feel like the end but what if it was?
“Y/N!” You heard someone call at the end of the hall.
Calum was standing there, panting heavily almost as if he ran there in the middle of the night. He was wearing his sleeping sweats and a big shirt, mirroring your own outfit as your world fell apart. You got up in a jump, running to him and engulfing him in a hug, hiding your face in his chest as you let yourself break down again. Seeing him there made it all real.
“Shh, it’s okay” He tried to calm you, but you could tell by the beating of his heart that he was just as scared as you were, he was just better at hiding it “Y/N, what happened? Is he okay? Where is Ash?”
But before you could answer, the door to your bedroom opened as a bunch of paramedics took Ashton in a stretcher to take him to the ambulance.
The image of your boyfriend’s body surrounded by doctors and pumps that helped him breathe would haunt you for as long as it needed, but it’ll always be accompanied by the words:
“He’s back! We have a pulse and we’re taking him to the hospital”
*
The white lights were blinding and burning your eyes. You haven’t been able to sleep in almost two days but you barely felt tired, all the adrenaline of that night still lingered on and as you held Ashton’s hand, you wondered if it’ll ever go away or if you’ll have to stay alert at all times.
Ashton glanced at you from time to time as the doctor explained what happened, tugging on your hand with reassurance for he knew that reliving that night must be very hard for you.
“... It wasn’t just a cough, Mr. Irwin. It’s possible that you already had a pre-existing condition that was affecting your lungs and the smoke in the air just made it trigger; it expanded to your lungs and heart, making it impossible for the air to run through smoothly. We were able to fix it thanks to the quick response of your partner, had she waited just a couple more minutes to start compressions we might’ve had a different ending today”
You closed your eyes and pressed your lips on a thin line as the tears came crashing down silently. Just thinking of what could’ve happened made your entire body go limp as the images of Ashton laying in your bed, cold-stone and without breathing filled your head.
“Thank you, doctor,” Ashton said with a hoarse voice, still recovering from everything. “Can I have the room, please?”
The doctor nodded and smiled kindly at the two of you before walking out and leaving you alone in the hospital room. And only then did you allow yourself to let out the cry that’s been burning at the back of your throat, letting your head fall on top of his hand.
“Baby,” Ashton cooed, softly running his hand through your scalp “It’s okay, Y/N. I’m okay, you hear them say it”
You lifted up your head, holding tightly to his hand as your red, puffy eyes took him in. He still had the same smile that made you fall for him in the first place, and you don’t ever want to imagine a life without it. Ever.
“I lost you…”
“And I came back,” He said, cupping your face delicately. “I came back because of you. You saved my life” You shook your head “Baby, you did. If it wasn’t for you I-”
“Don’t say it,” You begged, swallowing hard “Please don’t say it. I don’t want to hear it ever again”
Ashton’s eyes softened, he had no idea what you went through in those moments for he doesn’t remember anything other than going to sleep and then waking up in a hospital bed surrounded by you and his friends, all of you with tears running down your eyes and dressed in your pajamas.
“I’m sorry I left for a moment and you had to go through all of that” He softly offered and you chuckled despite yourself.
“You know you can’t use the “I’m sorry I died” excuse forever” Ashton laughed.
“Can I use it on Michael?”
“Maybe,” You smiled at him, wiping away some of your tears. “It was really scary, you know? I was really scared”
“I’m sorry”
“It’s okay, just - just don’t do that again, please?” You asked, letting out a breath as you held his hand tightly “I won’t be able to do all of this without you. I’m not ready and I won’t ever be”
“I wouldn’t dare” He smiled, bringing you closer for a small, sweet kiss “I’m not ready to let you go, either”
*
*
tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @conversecake @bubblegum18 @irwin-fletcher-ash @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @1980holland @wiiildflowerrr @hoplessromantic727 @fivesecondsofonedirection @another-lonely-heart @aabc5sauce @dudethisiswhyyoudonthavefriends @fakebetch9694 @5sos-imagine @SunflowerAngel2123 @perfectnouis @in-superbloom @lukeisstillapenguin @sadcupofcoffee @superstarmarvel @personalmuyverypersonal @cnco.angels @vtte @as-hs-blog @himbohood @sofiaaraee @irwindoll @ashtonsunflower @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @the-ghost-of-ash @alltimesos @wontlastimokwiththat @ttinahood @lukespitinmymouth @perfectnouis @cncoangelss @darrensos @whywontashloveme
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buckleyblueyes · 3 years ago
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Buddie + 24 or 41? :)
Hello! Thank you for this great fake-dating prompt! I ended up being able to work in both prompts! (send me a kiss prompt) (send me a dialogue prompt)
Buck doesn’t know how he got here, at his ex-girlfriend’s wedding in Arizona, well on his way to champagne drunk, and pining over his best friend. Actually, that’s a lie. He knows exactly how this happened. It’s all Eddie’s fault, really. Because Eddie was the one who suggested it in the first place.
“Abby invited me to her wedding,” Buck said in the middle of a shift, apropos of nothing.
Hen looked up from her textbook with a raised eyebrow. “She’s been engaged for a long time.”
“It got pushed back because of the pandemic,” Buck shrugged. “It’s in three weeks.”
“That’s short notice,” Chimney said through a bite of an apple.
“Well,” Buck swallowed nervously. “She sent me the invitation six months ago.”
“Then why are you mentioning it now?” Eddie finally spoke, a slight edge in his voice. It reminded Buck of the night of the train crash.
“Because I don’t have a date,” Buck shifted uncomfortably on the couch.
“Do you need one?” Hen asked. “Why are you even going?”
“Well…” Buck hesitated, already feeling embarrassed and a little pathetic. “I RSVP’d when I was still dating Taylor, so it didn’t seem so--”
“Miserable?” Chimney asked.
“Yeah.” Buck sighed. “I know it was stupid to ask for a plus one, I mean Taylor and I’d only been official for a month when I got the invitation. But you know me, I’m an optimist.”
Chimney nodded sympathetically. “I mean, you still have time to find a date.”
“Oh, yeah, because ‘you wanna come with me to my ex’s wedding’ is a great pickup line,” Buck rolled his eyes.
Hen opened her mouth to say something, but Eddie cut her off. “I’ll go with you.”
“Eddie…” Buck hesitated. “No offence, but I think showing up with my best friend is even more embarrassing than showing up alone.”
Eddie shook his head fondly. “I meant as your date.”
Buck blinked twice. “I can’t ask you--”
“You’re not asking, I’m offering.”
And that’s how Buck got here. It’s all Eddie’s fault. (Okay, it’s a little bit Buck’s fault for RSVPing with a plus one, or even RSVPing at all, really.) He sighs and sips his champagne and watches as Sam twirls Abby around on the dance floor. Eddie stepped out a minute ago to call Christopher and say goodnight, so Buck is alone with his thoughts. He frowns as he watches Abby and Sam, but the ache in his chest isn’t about Abby anymore, and it hasn’t been for a long time. She looks happy, and he knows he’s not in love with her anymore. He just wants what they have. And he wants it with his best friend.
Of course, he only realized this when Abby came up to him after dinner to tell him how happy she was that he found someone, how she could see how happy he was with Eddie, and how much Eddie seemed to love him. He smiled politely and thanked her, but internally something snapped. It wasn’t that he hadn’t known that he had feelings for Eddie--there’s a reason that he and Taylor didn’t work out, why he wasn’t as invested in the relationship as he should’ve been--but there was something about hearing it from Abby that made it more real, harder to ignore. Not that it matters, because Eddie swore of relationships after he broke things off with Ana. Something about not being emotionally available enough? Buck doesn’t quite have all the details because Eddie was Eddie, and Eddie was cagey about his emotions.
A voice breaks Buck out of his thoughts, and when he looks up Eddie is standing over him with a hand outstretched. “May I have this dance?”
“We don’t have to--”
“I want to,” Eddie says, voice firm, but gentle. “Please?”
And what can Buck do, but nod and take his best friend’s hand and let himself be dragged out onto the dance floor. They don’t so much dance, as they sway against each other, both slightly tipsy. Being so close to Eddie that their chests are touching, Eddie’s hands on his sides is a heady combination, and Buck can feel his heart racing. He wonders if Eddie can feel it, too. For a moment he lets himself get lost in the feeling, inhaling the scent of Eddie’s cologne and letting his own hands move down Eddie’s sides toward his waist.
“This is nice,” Eddie says, and Buck’s chest aches. He knows Eddie means the wedding, not the dance.
“It was a beautiful ceremony,” Buck agrees.
“Not what I meant,” Eddie laughs. “Ready for the dip?”
Buck raises an eyebrow. “You’re gonna dip me? How much have you had to drink?”
Eddie grins. “I’m not drunk.”
Before Buck can respond, Eddie is twisting his arm, and Buck is spinning out of Eddie’s embrace only to fall clumsily backwards into his arms. From his new, upside down vantage point, Buck can see Abby walking towards them, and his stomach rolls. He’s been avoiding her all night (which isn’t hard, because she’s the bride and everyone else here actually wants her attention), but now there’s nothing in her way. She’s going to come over here and unknowingly break Buck’s heart by talking about a relationship that doesn’t even exist.
Maybe it’s the champagne, or the fact that all the blood rushed to head when Eddie dipped him, but when Eddie pulls Buck back up, he does the first thing he can think of to stop Abby. He grabs Eddie’s face in both hands and pulls him into a kiss.
Eddie melts into it immediately, much to Buck’s surprise. His hands roam Buck’s body, finding their way to the small of his back, sending tingles up his spine. For a split second Buck lets himself enjoy it, lets his own hands stray from Eddie’s cheeks and jaw up into his hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss. And then, as abruptly as he started the kiss, he pulls back.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” He’s still breathless when the apology falls out of his lips. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Eddie chuckles. “I think I have a pretty good idea.” And then he’s leaning back in to kiss Buck again.
Buck puts up a hand to stop him. “What are you doing?”
“I think it’s pretty obvious, Buck,” Eddie’s eyes are sparkling. “I’m going to kiss my boyfriend.”
Buck chokes on his own spit. This must be a dream. He got drunker than he thought and he passed out and this is a dream. “Boyfriend?!”
Eddie’s eyes dim. “I guess I got a little ahead of myself there, didn’t I? We don’t have to rush into anything.”
Buck’s brain is whirring a mile a minute, but he still can’t make sense of what’s happening. “Wh--You have feelings for me?”
Now Eddie looks as perplexed as Buck feels. “I--Yeah? Obviously?”
“Obviously?!” Buck can hear the strain in his own voice. “How is that obvious?!”
“Why the hell else would I ask to be your date to a wedding?” Eddie shakes his head in disbelief.
Buck’s mouth falls open in disbelief. “You-But--I thought--I thought we were pretending.”
“Pretending.” Eddie’s tone goes icy. “You were just pretending.”
“No, I, well, I mean,” Buck stumbles over his words, face red. “I thought you were just saving me from having to show up alone and single. I never in a million years thought you could feel that way about me.”
Eddie’s face softens a bit at that. “Buck…”
“I know, I’m an idiot.”
Eddie sighs. “I guess I’m an idiot, too. I could’ve been more clear about my intentions. I hope this doesn’t make things awkward between us. You’re my best friend, and the last thing I want is for my feelings to get in the way of that, you mean too much--”
“Eddie, it’s okay--”
“I might need some space for awhile, but you can still see Christopher--”
“Eddie!”
“I’m sorry, again, for all this. I don’t know what I was--mmph!”
Buck cuts Eddie off with another kiss. It’s short, but sweet, and he hopes it gets his point across. “I thought it was pretend, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want it to be real.”
“Oh.” Eddie blinks twice. “Oh.”
Buck grins and nods, biting his lip. “Yeah.”
“I love you,” Eddie blurts out. “I’m in love with you. So, this...It’s kind of an all or nothing thing for me.”
Buck’s grin grows wider. “I love you, too.”
Eddie kisses him, and this time it’s Buck who melts under his touch, heart pounding and knees buckling. Eddie’s hands are around his neck and in his hair and every touch sends warmth radiating through Buck’s body. Buck moves to pull away and catch his breath, but Eddie only redirects his kisses to Buck’s neck and jaw.
Buck doesn’t know how he got here, at his ex-girlfriend’s wedding in Arizona, the buzz of champagne fading--replaced with a new, much better kind of buzz--making out with his best friend, but he wouldn’t trade it for the world.
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calpops · 4 years ago
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seven days | c.h.
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Your baby is born two months early. You and Calum face the complications and uncertainties with each other and the help of family.
10k words
dates with cal masterlist
Copyright © 2020 calpops. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format (translations included).
<< >>
Calum’s world spins in slow motion. He sees you but you’re out of focus, his vision is hazy past tears. He’s numb but somehow he can still make out that your hand is in his, your grip is like iron, the hold you have on each other is unbreakable. He can hear static, white noise tumbles through his senses raised into a panic induced overdrive. He loses you and finds your baby and wonders why there’s no crying. The doctor has her in her arms and she’s saying something, Calum can see that her lips are moving but his mind can’t keep up, her voice is lost to him. Neither of you were prepared for this, the classes and books neglected to ready you for only seven months of pregnancy, ten minutes of labor and the doctor rushing your daughter out of the room. He looks back at you and sees your once outstretched arm fall, your lip quiver, eyes go wild through your weary and worried exhaustion. Your voice finally breaks him.
“Follow them,” you plead and though Calum wants to stay with you there’s someone else in the world who needs him too. Someone else he wants to be with just as much as you.
With every footstep down the sterile hallway he wishes your hand could still be in his. He’s stopped short, a nurse he barely recognizes from his disconnect while at your side stands in front of him.
“They’re bringing her to the NICU,” the nurse says and though her voice and eyes are kind Calum feels fear and frustration rising inside of him, boiling and breaking him as she stands in his way. “You can’t go in yet.”
“What—I’m—she’s my daughter,” he stumbles out, throat on fire and eyes burning just the same.
“They’re getting her in an incubator. She needs oxygen and vital care,” she says and goes on to explain it will take a bit of time. “When she’s ready you’ll be able to go in. You’ll need to scrub up and wash your hands first.”
Calum shakes his head, not quite able to process all of this information on the spot. He lets out a shaky breath, curls his fingers into his palms, feels the coolness of his wedding ring on his skin and it reminds him of you; he lets the thought of you attempt to calm him. His head shake turns to a nod though he’s still not sure he can completely comprehend all that is happening.
“When can I see her?” he finally manages to get out though it’s not without a fight or a broken syllable.
“Follow me,” the nurse offers and without thinking Calum is walking down the hallway again, trailing the nurse to a break in the white wall where a window rests. “You can watch from here.”
The view is startling. Machines and equipment line the NICU, doctors and nurses pass in and out and create fears with every step they take. It takes a moment to find the team that delivered your baby, joined by a few new nurses and another doctor. Just past the crowd he can see the incubator and your daughter being settled within, tubes for oxygen and the like disguising her small face. Her eyes are closed and though she looks peaceful the striking contrast of your sleeping daughter and the dire circumstances are enough to choke Calum. He can’t watch the rest, his eyes skirt to the floor but he stays put. He’s not leaving her, his resolve is shaken but stays intact. He wants you with him, he wants her to be on the other side of the glass, in his arms, welcomed to a world without complications.
Time passes in a blur, his eyes fixed on his shoes and the tile floor below. He’s vaguely aware of other people in the hallway. Doctors, parents, nurses and patients all pass him by without a word. The kind nurse is long gone and Calum finds himself wishing he had asked more questions. The silence is deafening. He wants to have your whispered words of reassurance in his ear. He wants the repeated mantra of “it’s gonna be okay” to be believable. His phone buzzes but he doesn’t reach for it. He knows he should make calls. Tell his parents, inform the guys he left with a million questions and concerns in their minds. He doesn’t have the energy or the will to do so.
His shoulders slump but he straightens himself when a doctor approaches.
“Mr. Hood?” he asks, clipboard in hand and cool eyes sweeping him up and down. Calum nods. “You can go in now. Follow me. We have to get you ready.”
Calum’s heart lurches with the first step he takes to follow the doctor, to be with his daughter. He thinks of you, doesn’t want to imagine the panic and pain that being alone is causing you. He reminds himself Mali is with you, that you told him to follow. He’s led to a solid door and ushered through. There’s a room connected to the NICU; cabinets with scrubs and gloves and sanitizer and a medical sink claim the small space. He realizes all parents must enter through here before getting to their babies. In a blink he’s wearing a gown, and his hands are thoroughly washed. He takes just one second to take a breath, to gather courage, keep you in his thoughts and ready his heart for his daughter.
“We usually encourage skin to skin contact to bond with babies while they’re being treated. You can hold her hand, talk to her, she’ll know your voice,” the doctor explains while they approach the incubator.
There’s a thousand questions swirling through Calum’s mind that he wants to ask the doctor beside him. But his breath catches in his throat at the sight of your daughter. Her eyes are still closed from when he first caught a glimpse of her through the window. The incubator is closed, she’s surrounded by the help she needs but holes provide a place for Calum’s hand to find her. The doctor talks to him, Calum knows he should be listening but the whir of the machinery and the thumping of his pulse inside his ears drown out the words. He keeps his gaze on her, swallows back a sob and feels the ache in his heart grow as he realizes you’re alone in the room down the hall, that she’s right in front of him but they’re separated by plastic and plexiglass.
He wants to say something to her, he can’t find words, more than anything he wants to hold her. He can’t. He sinks down to level with her and slowly reaches through to lightly hold her hand that’s so small it brings tears to his eyes. She doesn’t respond but he feels better having even the smallest form of connection to her. He doesn’t even know when he realized that he was right; your baby is the most beautiful little girl he’s ever seen. Your bet is meaningless, winning and names are lost in the plight of life. The doctor leaves eventually but hospital staff still surrounds the NICU, nurses and doctors ready at a moment’s notice. It’s silent save for the hum of the machines. Only a few other babies are being treated, spaced out to afford families privacy. He doesn’t know how long he stays bent over with his hand lightly on hers before he finally finds words.
“We love you,” he tells her, knowing if you were with them you’d say it too.
It might have been minutes but is more likely hours by the time a nurse pulls Calum from her side. The mention of you finally rousing him from his state. He doesn’t want to leave but he wants you. He wars over it for a moment but nods, gives her hand another touch, tells her that you both love her and finds himself wandering the hallway back to you. You’re stricken when he enters the room. Mali is trying to be a calming presence, to keep you in bed, but it seems a losing fight.
“How is she?” you ask, breathless, hopeless and forlorn.
Calum swallows down a lump in his throat, bites back tears and tries to stay strong for you and for her. A rush of the doctor’s words come back to him. What scattered remnants of pieces he barely heard charge through.
“She’s beautiful,” Calum says first, sits down in the chair at your side and takes your hand as softly as he had taken hers. “The doctor said the first twenty four hours are the most vital. They’ll know more at forty eight and even more at seventy two.”
“I want to see her,” you say and Calum hears the edge of hysteria in your tone.
“You need to rest,” Mali tries but falls short when you and Calum both shake your heads.
“I didn’t even get to hold her,” you cry and it’s enough to bring Calum to you, his arms gently around your shoulders. You can’t hold her, he can’t hold her, but you can hold each other and hope. “I want to see her,” you repeat and the words hit Calum’s skin and wrench his heart.
“We’ll ask the doctor if you can,” he promises, not knowing how physically affected you are from labor, not knowing if getting up and going would be okay or not.
“I’ll go get her,” Mali says and excuses herself from the room to track down the doctor and to give you two a private moment.
You’re both quiet for a few seconds, content to hold each other together in the silence. Calum feels your grip on him tighten as you shift in the hospital bed and eventually pull away so he can see your face. He runs his thumbs over your cheeks to wipe away your tears.
“Are you okay?” you ask him, eyes wide and concerned. “I wish I could’ve been there with you. I don’t know how hard that must have been.”
Calum shakes his head as if he’s trying to shake away your worries. You feeling guilty for not being there with and for him was the same war he had about leaving you behind.
“‘I’m”—he says and sucks in a deep breath—“I’m okay. I’ll be okay. She’s gonna be okay,” he finishes and finds a new mantra though it’s hard to believe and each sentence sounds more like a question than the last.
You nod, a small shudder shaking your shoulders and racking your body. Calum reaches for you again, let’s his hands settle on your shoulders to give you strength and comfort.
“I know she will. She’ll be okay, she has to be, she’s half you and you’re the strongest person I know,” you rationalize, eyes lost to the wall in front of you. You look back at Calum and he sees the stony wall you’ve put up start to crack as you gaze at him. “But it’s okay to break sometimes,” you finish and Calum knows you’re saying it to him, reminding him that he can break into your arms and have you there to help him put back the pieces.
For the first time since your daughter was born Calum allows himself to crumble. The tears he’d been fighting back slide down his cheeks and his shoulders slump with the weight of the world. He’s brought back to you by your gentle pull and finds reassurance in the love you show him. Mali comes back in with the doctor and Calum tries to collect himself, wipes tears from his face and clears his throat.
“I hear you’re asking about your daughter,” the doctor says as she steps into the room and takes a sweeping glance at you, Calum and Mali. “Parents are allowed in at all times. Visiting hours for others are seven in the morning to seven at night. Only two at a time.”
“Can I go see her?” you ask, a fragment of hope clinging to your words and getting lost in your eyes at the mention of parents being allowed in whenever.
“In the morning,” the doctor replies and Calum swallows down a lump in his throat, knowing that’s not the answer you wanted. “Your labor was quick but very intense. Your body needs to rest, the drugs need to wear off, you wouldn’t make it down the hallway in your condition.”
Calum sees the refusal cross your face, the staunch disbelief that you can’t see your daughter almost enough to crack anyone’s resolve. The doctor keeps explaining to you but it falls on deaf ears and interjections. You ask if this way would be possible, if that way would, but nothing seems to be possible to the doctor who means to keep you in bed until morning.
“What if she doesn’t have a morning?” you finally ask and suck in a breath as if the words themselves strike physical pain through you. Calum’s nearly certain they did, just the thought is enough to make his chest feel like it’s caving in.
“She’s stable and comfortable. If anything was to happen we would get you in there. For now, please try to get some rest.”
The doctor gets paged and makes her escape. Calum clutches you, holds you and makes whispered promises he’s not sure can be kept.
“I don’t want her alone,” you whimper and Calum follows your gaze out the door.
“I’ll go—do you want me to stay with you? Where do you want me?” he asks, stumbling over his words, unsure where to go or what to do.
You nod. “Go be with her. Please. Make sure she’s okay,” you instruct and Calum can hear how much it pains you to let him go to her without you. He holds your hand, kisses your forehead.
“I’ll come back to check on you in a while,” he promises. “And I’ll take so many pictures of her. Sweetheart, she’s beautiful,” he adds, realizing his first time in the NICU was so filled with shock that not one photo was taken and the only time you’ve seen her was when she was being taken away.
“Thank you,” you whisper, eyes glossy. “I love you.”
“I love you,” he answers without hesitation but takes an extra second to gaze at you before heading out the door.
He’s back with your daughter before he even realizes it. Her small hand is warm inside the incubator, her eyes are still shut and past the tubes that breathe life into her she almost looks peaceful. He takes as many photos as he can without disturbing her. He settles into the hard plastic chair beside her and tilts his head back until it gently thumps against the wall. His hands find his face and rub at his jaw. He hadn’t realized before but it’s been clenched and holding tension for hours. Time passes as he sits at her side, talks to her, sings and hums when she so much as stirs slightly. He’s able to lull her and he takes those moments as victory and ones to keep with him forever. Once more he wishes you were with them, knowing you would be able to do the same for her with the sound of your voice, the gentle touch of your hand. When it nears midnight and she hasn’t stirred in a while and a nurse has come in to check on her, Calum convinces himself it’s time to go check on you.
He knows he could call or text but he misses you. He’s faced with a conundrum as he gets one foot out the door of the NICU. Now he misses her. But he doesn’t have time to do much of either as the kind nurse he recognizes from earlier stops him once more. This time she has a clipboard with papers and pen in her hand.
“Forms for her birth certificate,” she informs.
Calum gapes at the papers. Even the easiest of questions and information seems impossible. You both still don’t even know her name yet.
“You can take your time on them. I’ll be around to help if you have questions,” the nurse says before excusing herself to rush off to help another patient.
Calum’s left with the clipboard in hand, aches in his heart and questions in his mind. He heads back for your room to find you awake and Mali gone. You smile to greet him but Calum can see how flat the gesture is and he can’t blame you.
“Where’s Mali?”
“Getting a coffee. I can’t sleep and she wanted to stay up with me,” you explain and Calum settles himself on the edge of your bed. He takes your hand and places the clipboard on his lap. “What’s that?”
“Forms for her birth certificate,” he says and sighs. “I can’t even fill in her name.”
You squeeze his hand in understanding. “Do what you can,” you reply and inch closer to take a peek at the papers. There’s a moment of silence between the two of you as you each get lost in your own thoughts. “I know you get to name her…”
Calum shakes his head. All bets off. “We’ll decide on something together. I love all the ones on your list,” he tells you and finally gets a genuine smile from you, eyes alight and all.
“I want to see her before we choose, I feel like I don’t even know her.”
Calum trembles at your words and the honesty in them. You carried her for seven months and had about seven seconds to see her before she was carried off. He leans closer to you, gives you many small kisses from your cheek to forehead as worries and fears tumble inside him, each one coming to life and bringing life to others. He drowns them out, for you and for her. He’s already crumbled once. He wants to be resilient. Mali comes back with coffee in hand and tired eyes but such a sheer will to stay Calum can’t even work up the nerve to even suggest she go home and get some sleep. And in all honesty he’s glad she’s here and can be there with you when he can’t.
“I called mum and dad, I hope you don’t mind,” Mali says when she takes a seat on the opposite side of you, sliding into the chair in a tired yet graceful way.
Calum shakes his head. He doesn’t mind at all. He wanted to do it but didn’t have the heart or the words or the right mind to even dial the phone.
“They’re flying out as soon as they can,” Mali further informs, then sips at her coffee. “We’re all gonna be here for you. Both of you. All of you.”
“Thank you,” Calum gets out past a choked up throat and stands to stride to his sister and give her a long overdue hug. She affords him comfort and when she realizes how tired his eyes are she gives him her coffee and says she’ll get another.
Mali leaves again and Calum spends the next few minutes drinking in the caffeine and soaking up some time with you. He wants to get back to your daughter but the war of you being completely alone confronts him once more. He decides to wait until Mali gets back to head back to the NICU. When she does stride back through the door he gives you a kiss, tells you he loves you and makes a promise to stay with her until morning; until you can be with her too.
He spends the night in the uncomfortable hospital chair, hand inside the incubator, finger lightly stroking her tiny hand in soothing rhythms. He talks to her when the moon is out, he shows her pictures of you and doesn’t let it bother him when her eyes don’t stay open for long. He comes to terms with the fact that she’s resting and when she’s resting she’s getting stronger each and every second. Through the night he shifts in the chair but never leaves it. There’s a kink in his neck and his muscles ache by the time morning comes but those pains are minimal in comparison. He rubs at his tired eyes after waking from a miraculous little doze. He straightens and finds her immediately.
“Good morning,” he sings quietly as he gets level with her. Her eyes are barely open. “You get to see your mommy today.”
He knows it’s not likely, probably impossible, but he swears she smiles when he tells her that. His phone buzzes in his pocket. He has no intention of answering it—he’s surprised it still has enough charge to buzz—but he checks who’s calling. Ashton lights up the screen. Calum sends him to voicemail and jumps when motion in his peripheral startles him. Ashton is standing outside the NICU window, looking in at Calum with his phone pressed to his ear. He frowns when he hears the voicemail greeting. Calum gathers up the courage to leave his daughter. He gives her a small goodbye squeeze on her hand, tells her he loves her and exits the NICU, the routine of leaving the used gown behind already set in stone.
“How is she?” Ashton asks, giving no time or thought to explaining how he knew where to go or why he holds a duffel bag in his grip.
Calum wracks his brain, trying to find the last update from a nurse or doctor but comes up short after his long night. He sighs and his shoulders slump.
“She made it through the night,” he says and hears the desperate intone of needing hope in his voice. “What are you doing here? How’d you know?”
“Mali texted, Luke has Duke,” Ashton explained and lifted a worry from Calum. He’d nearly forgotten Duke in the fray of it all. Ashton hoisted the duffel bag up. “I brought you both clothes, phone chargers, and I even have a present for her,” he continues and rummages around in a small gift bag until he pulls out a plush koala bear.
“She’s in a closed incubator,” Calum says though he knows he should be saying thank you instead. He can’t stop the words once they start. “She can’t have anything in there.”
Ashton nods, knowing the slight bite in Calum’s tone is not frustration at the gesture, just the circumstances. “It can go in her nursery.”
“We don’t even have it set up yet.”
Calum knows he’s starting to crack again but he doesn’t know how to stop himself. If it were anyone else he might have had a fighting chance of keeping himself together but Ashton’s been there for unspeakable highs and lows. He can’t fight himself into submission. He can’t keep himself together without a little help from his best friend. That’s exactly what he gets, a comforting hand on his back as the bags hit the floor and a hug to remind him that it’s not just you and him against the world. It takes a few minutes for Calum to pull himself together, to offer an apology for his tone that Ashton shrugs off in understanding and head for your room, the sudden remembrance that you get to finally see your daughter carrying his steps.
He finds you and Mali in the same spots as last night. He can tell you didn’t sleep. Your eyes are bloodshot and heavy but the smallest of smiles captures your lips when you see him.
“You ready?” Calums asks and you nod, needing no other prompting to understand. “Let’s get you dressed then we can go,” he adds on and searches through the duffel bag for some clothes as Ashton and Mali head to the hallway.
“How was last night?” you ask him as you pull a hoodie on.
“Long,” Calum answers and takes a breath. “But she made it through with no problems. I talked about you, showed her pictures, I think she’s excited.”
You laugh at Calum’s recount of the night and his projection of her possible excitement. It’s the first time he’s heard you laugh in nearly twenty four hours. It’s not as hearty and joyous as usual but it’s a start to feeling normal. You both hold onto that feeling as you exit the room and head to get ready for the NICU.
Calum doesn’t know what to expect when you enter and see her for the first time since she was taken away. He figures you might tear up, that you might clutch him or go straight for her. He doesn’t expect you to freeze in your tracks halfway to where she sleeps. He doesn’t know what to do when you wrap your arms around yourself and tremble where you stand.
“It’s okay, sweetheart, come on,” he tries with a soothing voice. He’s a step ahead of you and you continue to stand still. He backtracks to you, puts a reassuring hand on your back. “What’s going on?”
He focuses on the subtleties of your face and is drawn to your eyes. He sees the way they shine and knows that you’ll soon be biting your lip and scrunching your nose as you do your best to hold back your emotions.
“All these machines…” you trail off with eyes roaming the NICU and the sight of dozens of incubators and the like. Calum knows how overwhelming it is but he’s had time to adjust and get used to the hum and flow of the world your daughter lives in.
“They keep the babies safe and comfortable,” he says, knowing that’s what will get through to you. “I’ll show you, she’s nice and cozy, getting stronger every second.”
You nod and take very small steps with Calum at your side. He doesn’t rush you or push you along. He goes at your pace, his eyes skirting from you to your daughter. He knows you can see her from your vantage point. Her eyes are closed as sleep claims her once more. Calum is used to the tubes that give her oxygen and help sustain her life. It startles you when you first approach and Calum witnesses the tears that finally slide down your cheeks. You’re timid at the edge of the incubator, hands curled into fists and steadfast at your sides. He hears your breath shaking and reaches for your hand.
“You can touch her. Hold her hand. She likes that,” Calum informs, knowing his touch and voice had soothed her through the night whenever she stirred. “Like this,” he says and reaches his free hand toward her, lightly stroking the soft skin on the back of her hand. Her eyes open but she stays calm and content.
You go slowly, as if afraid to startle her or scare yourself. Calum retracts his hand from her but keeps his other in yours for support and comfort. It takes one touch for your fears and stone wall to come crumbling down. Your eyes soften as more tears make stride and a sob wracks your body.
“Hi, sweetheart,” you manage to get out through a cracked voice and Calum smiles at the choice of term of endearment. You’ve always been his sweetheart, now you have one of your own. You look up at your husband and Calum meets your eyes. “She looks just like you.”
Calum shakes his head. “She’s you too, look,” Calum says.
You giggle through another cry but Calum knows the tears and sobs are all born of something good. “She’s got your eyes and purses her lips just like you.”
Calum smiles at that. “But that nose and those cheeks are all you.”
“You think so?” you ask, turning away from her to look at Calum with hope in your eyes. He nods. You turn back to look at her and keep up the small rhythm you have of stroking her hand. “Yeah,” you agree upon further inspection with such adoration in your tone it makes Calum laugh.
For as hesitant as you were to enter the NICU it quickly becomes apparent that nothing in the world will tear you from her side. You take up residence in the chair Calum spent the night in, never once letting your hand leave her, keep your voice soothing as you talk to her. Calum finds his way to the other side, content to hold her other hand and listen to the sweet words you whisper to her.
“I love you so much,” you repeat, having found a new mantra. “I can’t wait to bring you home. You’ll get to meet your auntie Mali, grandma and grandpa, all your uncles. Your doggie, Duke. We’re all waiting for you, whenever you’re ready.”
“Some are less patient than others,” Calum says around a laugh as he spies two people on the other side of the window. You make a confused noise until Calum motions over to the window and you both take in the sight of Ashton and Mali waving behind the glass with glossy eyes and smiles to accompany them.
“They’re really special, huh?” you ask and smile, appreciative for all of the effort they’ve put in. You both know you wouldn’t be able to get through this without family by your side.
“The best,” Calum agrees with fond eyes.
You fall into silence, content to stay by her side and do nothing but gaze at her and each other adoringly. Calum doesn’t expect to look up and find you in tears again but he does and it nearly rips his breath away before he detects that though you’re crying it’s a good kind of cry this time.
“What’s going on, sweetheart?” he asks.
“This is just—it’s all I’ve wanted,” you manage to get out with your gaze roaming from her to Calum and then to Ashton and Mali still watching from the window. “It’s our family.”
Calum smiles at the sentiment and the honesty in your voice and knows the gesture reaches his eyes and hopes you can feel it in your heart the way he does. He knows your rocky relationship with your parents and that you haven’t felt like family in a long time. They have still yet to meet Calum after bailing on a dinner and the wedding. He’s not sure if you’ve called them about the birth or if they even bothered to answer but he’s happy to see you content with the family that chose you.
You sniffle and meet eyes with Calum. “I have an idea for her name,” you announce and Calum’s heart skips a beat. He’s ready to start calling her by her name, to fill out the forms in his hoodie pocket, but then he laughs as he realizes he might more often than not call her a term of endearment, just like he does with you.
“Anything you want,” Calum promises, knowing that it will be perfect because it came from you and your heart.
***
Another day slips by and Calum finds himself alone with your daughter once more. You’ve been brought back to your hospital room to talk with your doctor and see where you’re at and when you’ll be ready to be discharged. Calum asks you to get some rest while you’re in there. You make no promises but heed his words. You both have thoughts of her name in your heads, still undecided, wanting more time with her to be absolutely sure but feeling that it could be right. Calum’s hanging on by a thin and tattered thread. He’s exhausted and nodding off in the chair when Ashton rouses him with a phone call and coaxes him out into the hall, but not before he spends the time to tell her that he loves her. He meets his best friend in the hall, a yawn falling from him, arms wide as they stretch out the aches and tightness from his prolonged position.
Calum rubs at his eyes. “Why’d you drag me out here?”
“I think you should go home for a while,” Ashton says, getting straight to the point. When Calum immediately refuses with a shake of his head Ashton sighs and continues, “just a little while. You’re running on empty.”
“No. No, I don’t want to leave her. I can’t leave them,” Calum refuses, head still shaking and eyes darting to the window.
“Go home. Take a shower. Eat something. Take half an hour to sleep. They need you to be rested,” Ashton says and Calum can almost hear the words he didn’t say. They need you to be strong.
It’s the implication and words unsaid that even marginally make Calum consider the proposition. He runs a hand through his hair as tangles of thoughts snarl through his mind. He lets out an accidentally long held breath and turns the shake of his head into a nod as his shoulders relax. He decides he will, but only after he’s sure you’re okay and can be in with her. He tells Ashton as much.
“Good, I’m on shift right now so I can be in there with them when you’re gone if you guys want,” Ashton informs. Mali had finally gone home to get some rest for herself and Ashton slid seamlessly into her role at your sides to fill in the gaps when you have to be separated.
“I’m sure we’d all love that,” Calum assures, utterly grateful for his family’s presence.
Ashton does as promised. Calum watches as the two of you enter the NICU, sticks by the window until he sees Ashton take her hand for the first time and glow with such love and adoration it makes Calum certain she’s okay in his hands. And yours, though he’s never had a doubt about that. He heads home after waving and blowing a kiss—and laughing when Ashton pretends to snag it from you and keep it for himself. He calls for a car, knowing he’s well past exhausted and being behind the wheel would be dangerous. The car stops at the curb of your home and Calum stops short when he steps out. Two cars sit in the driveway where your cars are usually parked.
He enters the house and is met with disgruntled noises coming from down the hall. He makes way to the back room and finds Luke and Michael in a mess of boxes and half put together nursery furniture. He laughs as he stands in the doorway and it catches his friends attention, they look up at him, wide eyed and startled.
Michael is the first to stand as he abandons a screwdriver on the floor among the mess of cardboard, bubble wrap, and probably unread instructions. “How is she? How are you? What are you doing here?”
“She’s getting better everyday,” Calum answers and doesn’t even question the knowledge they have of her and the troubles she’s been facing. He knows Ashton must have filled them in. “Ashton forced me home to get some rest. But the better question is what are you two doing here?”
Luke blows out an irritated breath. “Trying to build her nursery. We figured Mali and Ash wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon so we might as well be helpful in the meantime.”
“Do they know when she can come home?” Michael asks and tucks his hands in his pockets, eyes sweeping the mess of a nursery. He clears his throat.
“Not yet. Hopefully soon,” Calum answers with an arched eyebrow, also taking in the room.
Luke stands. “Don’t worry. We set up a bassinet by your bed. We read it’s good for newborns to sleep near their parents. Just in case,” Luke informs. “She’ll have somewhere to come home to and rest. Now it’s your turn,” he finishes and waves a hand as if to dismiss Calum from their presence.
“Alright, I’ll take the hint. Just… try not to break anything,” Calum says and excuses himself to head across the hall to his own room. He spots the bassinet immediately and gravitates towards it without thinking. He has the stuffed koala Ashton got for her in his hoodie pocket. He pulls it out and places it inside, optimistic that she’ll be able to come home to it soon.
Calum doesn’t linger at home too long. He showers, eats and struggles to sleep for a while. Luke and Michael make minimal progress in their efforts to put together the nursery. Before heading out again Calum stops by to thank them.
“We couldn’t do this without you guys,” Calum expresses his thanks and means every word of it.
“That’s what we’re here for. It’s what families do,” Luke reassures.
“You can thank us by showing us some pictures of her,” Michael states and tilts his head. “The only ones we’ve gotten are blurry and through a window from Ash and Mali.”
Calum is more than happy to comply, he’s taken dozens, likely hundreds, since the first one he snapped for you. With two of his best friends by his side he swipes through endless photos. Most of just her, nearly identical, some with you and her, some of him and her and a few taken by a nice nurse of the two of you with her. He’s not looking at Luke and Michael—much too busy staring at the screen, wanting to be back with her and you to look at them—but he can feel the smiles in their voices.
“She’s the prettiest little thing I’ve ever seen,” Luke coos.
Michael makes a comment that she’s lucky she favors you over Calum and all three laugh. It’s one of few genuine laughs Calum has had over the past few days and even though it’s at his own expense he doesn’t mind. It feels normal. Michael and Luke aren’t treating him like glass and he feels less likely to shatter because of it.
“I gotta get back to her,” Calum concludes and locks his phone after the last photo is shown.
“Send us new photos when you get there,” Luke insists and lets Calum part with them after a hug for each.
Calum leaves the half finished nursery and hears his friends go back to squabbling.
“Where the hell did the crib go?” Michael’s voice asks as Calum heads for the door.
“I think it’s under the rocker,” Luke says. “Which is under that styrofoam.”
Calum leaves with a grin and gets back to you and her as soon as he can. He has to switch places with Ashton to get back into the NICU. He immediately greets you and her and though he’s sure at this point you both know he tells you he loves you.
“Will you sleep tonight?” Calum asks, knowing it will likely be your last night in the hospital, your visit from the doctor informing you that you could be discharged in the morning.
“No,” you respond.
“Will you at least try?” he questions with pleading eyes. He doesn’t want you to spend a night in a chair after all your body has been through though he knows you will without question. “You need rest,” he reminds. “I did. Now it’s your turn.”
You sigh and Calum can hear how tired you are just from that. You mull it over for a minute and finally nod. “I’ll try. Stay with her?”
“Always,” Calum promises and meets you around the incubator to give you a hug before separating for the night.
It’s another long and restless night for Calum but he finds small joys where he can. He’s happy to see her content and resting easily. He revels in holding her hand and talking to her. The doctor said she would know his voice and as time passes he starts to believe it. He can’t help but think back on all the times had talked to her before he was born. He found comfort in holding your bump and telling you both about his day or humming and singing familiar and beloved tunes. Those days aren’t so far gone and Calum feels a tug in his chest as he realizes how quickly they left. Seven months was too short. But as he gazes down at her he can’t help but be happy to have met her early. He laughs when the thought of her just wanting to meet you as soon as possible enters his mind and knows he’ll have to tell you that, knows it will make you smile. The night goes by without incident and it instills more and more hope into Calum’s heart that she could be going home any day now. He gets a text from you early in the morning when the sun is still making it’s ascent into the sky. 
He finds himself in your hospital room with a view of pink clouds on the horizon and the golden sun greeting you as the doctor says you’re okay enough to be discharged. You both listen to the instructions and advice the doctor gives you and Calum can see the relief and happiness on your face as you settle into the realization that you can be at your daughters side at any and all times. The doctor tells you to rest and take it easy but Calum knows nothing will be restful or easy until she’s home and you both know she’s okay. Your minds and hearts won’t have peace until she can rest in your arms. Calum helps you get ready to leave your own hospital room and head back to the NICU. Over the next couple of days you and Calum find an exhausting rhythm of being at her side. It takes a lot of convincing from Ashton and Mali to let them be there for her while you take just a small amount of time for yourselves. Though it’s hard and goes against all of your instincts to be there with her at every single minute you relent after nearly thirty six hours without real sleep.
The first time you and Calum leave and Ashton and Mali go in together you linger by the window and watch as they take up positions by her sides. Calum feels warm and okay as he watches, he even manages a smile when Ashton and Mali light up when they hold her hands. The first time eases the transition to being able to take small moments away, long enough to eat and stretch your legs. But you never stay away for too long and even when they’re in with her you always find your way to passing the window and checking in on her and them. Nights are a different story. There is nothing that will make either of you leave her side. Days go on with uncertainty and worries but having Ashton and Mali around helps take some of the pressures and anxieties off of your shoulders.
Night settles upon you both with weary exhaustion clinging to your minds, bodies and hearts. Your daughter has been doing well but there’s still no word of when she can go home. It leaves you reaching for fragmented pieces of hope. Curling your fingers around broken shards of optimism and the fabric of each other’s shirts, holding onto all that is dear. Calum tries convincing you to go home for a night but you staunchly refuse, you tell him that you’re okay though your eyes betray how tired and broken you really are. He doesn’t push the matter, just holds you close in the uncomfortable hospital chair and keeps his hand on hers and yours and whispers reassurances all three of you need.
“I don’t even care if we go home soon or not. I just want to hold her,” you whisper and cut through Calum’s attempts at soothing you. “It’s been what? Four days? Five?” you ask and furrow your brows, the concept of time completely lost.
“Six,” Calum answers and is only aware of it from the watch on his wrist. It feels like a lifetime and he realizes that for her it is. He nearly gets choked up but clears his throat and blinks his eyes rapidly trying to keep himself together. He feels you shake your head against his chest as if you can’t believe it.
“She’s so tiny she could probably fit in one hand,” you say and let out a forlorn sigh. “I don’t know if we have clothes small enough for her.”
“We can send Mali out for that, I’m sure she’ll have a field day. We might have to build another closet for her,” Calum says and a small laugh follows, you giggle slightly and it’s more than Calum has let himself expect in a long while.
You lapse into silence, too tired to keep talking but too aware and afraid to fall asleep just yet. Calum’s learned to blur out the noise of the machines and just focus on your steady breathing. It comforts him. Just as he knows the beat of his heart is comforting you with your head pressed to his chest. His lap is numb but he wants you as close as possible.
“Have you thought more about her name?”
“I like what you mentioned,” Calum answers, a tilt of a smile forming for you and the thought of her possible name on his face. “Let’s sleep on it one more night,” he says and hopes that you actually will be able to sleep.
He finds himself nodding off, neck crooked and head falling against the wall behind him. But slumber is quickly taken from him when he feels himself being shaken and hears your breathy whisper.
“Something’s wrong,” you say and he immediately perks up, heart lurching and breath catching at the two words. “Look.”
You point out the window of the NICU where a group of doctors have convened with sullen looks on their faces. There’s a moment where everything is palpable and tense. Calum’s throat tightens and his heart rate spikes with anxiety. He can hear machines beeping but it’s not uncommon. The doctors break their group and start to move.
“Please don’t come in here,” he hears you say but he’s too fixed on watching the doctors disappear from the window and waiting for the door to burst open. Waiting for a doctor to take his daughter away again. “No, no, no.”
Calum’s hand finds hers and it feels just the same as always, warm and soft and perfect. His heart drops. Nothing happens, the door doesn’t open and the beeping stops. He gives it another moment and clutches at his chest with his free hand. He lets out a breath that’s nearly painful. He doesn’t even notice that in the heat of the moment you left him and stood, but now he refocuses, where once there was white edging into his vision as panic picked up he blinks it away and notices your hands are shaking. When you turn back to look at him he sees tears in your eyes.
“It’s okay,” he says and reaches a hand out to bring you back to him. “It’s okay. She’s okay.”
“I’m sorry,” you whisper and settle back against him, and he can feel the tears on your face as you find a home against the crook of his neck. “I was scared.”
“I know, it’s okay.”
“I shouldn’t have woken you. I shouldn’t have”—you begin but Calum strokes your hair and stops the words from coming out.
“That’s what I’m here for. I would’ve done the same,” he promises and assures. “She’s okay, we’re okay,” he continues when your small sobs and shakes don’t stop. He knows that you’re panic stricken and need to let the fear out. He holds you while you do, keeps his gaze flickering from you to her and lets the hum of the machines settle back in. He runs his hand up and down your back and hopes the rhythmic motion will help to calm you. He’s nearly certain sleep won’t be had any more for the night, he’s been running on coffee, anxiety, naps and adrenaline for days now. Once you’re calmed, or at least calmer, you pull away from Calum and he watches as you move back to her, settle so you can hold her hand and whisper to her. Her eyes are open and she’s calm. Calum notes and realizes how quiet she is, has been since she was first born. Even her cries are small and timid. He listens to you tell her that you both love her, that you can’t wait to bring her home and promise to always be there for her. Once the panic flees you both settle back in for the night but stay awake with closed eyes and hands on hers.
Morning comes in a slow creeping way. Doctors and nurses enter the NICU, you both watch silently as they make sure your daughter is doing well. It’s a silent and solemn affair to watch someone else be able to hold your baby—even if it’s just for a routine check in to make sure she’s making the progress she needs. Calum sees your arms flinching, watches as they calm when she’s back in the incubator and quiet. He knows it’s killing you to not hold her, cradle her in your arms and keep her safe from the world. It’s killing him too. Though you’re both somber and exhausted from the previous night, Calum finds that the morning is easier, he’s a little more light and certain. He won’t call it a good feeling as he doesn’t want to jinx it, but as he stares down at her and her eyes flutter open to meet his gaze he feels more calm and collected than he has in a week. His phone buzzes and though he doesn’t want to peel his gaze away from her he looks down and finds a message from Ashton.
“Ash says we should go get breakfast, he and Mali will come in for her,” Calum informs you and for the first time you don’t argue in favor of staying. Last night was too much, twenty minutes to recollect yourselves sounds good, and you’ve both come to trust Ashton and Mali to be alone with her.
“Alright, just get something quick from the cafeteria,” you agree and give your daughter one last touch and affirmation of love. You’ve both made it a habit to have your parting words to her be “I love you”.
Breakfast passes in a blur, remnants of blueberry muffins get swept into the trash and soon enough you’re both on your way back up to her. You’re stopped short in the hallway, a doctor calling out to you.
“Hoods?”
You both turn and a nervous feeling flutters through Calum’s chest. He holds his breath for a moment as he takes in the sight of the doctor. He exhales when the doctor seems in no rush and holds no note of concern. Calum supposes it’s a routine check in to tell about her progress and what the next steps are. Calum’s about ready to ask if you might be able to hold her soon, knowing how far she’s come and how much better she’s doing but the words get trapped as the doctor starts talking.
“She’s put on some weight. Her vitals are good. We’ll be transferring her to an open incubator for the day and if all goes well she should be able to go home by tonight or tomorrow morning.”
“What?” you ask, voice small in Calum’s ears, tinny and distant as you both process the news.
The doctor runs through it again, tells you slowly and answers questions that pop up during the explanation. Once it all makes sense, once it sinks in and the reality that her and home is coming sooner than either of you could have hoped for you’re both struck with a whirlwind of emotions. You freeze and for the second time the life of your daughter brings Calum to his knees. He doesn’t realize that he’s sobbing until you find him on the floor and your gentle hands and voice start to soothe him. Your fingers run through his hair and you repeat a new mantra that’s carved in stone and faith.
“She’s okay. We can go home.”
Your voice is a whisper and the NICU door opening and closing and footsteps all scream around you both. Calum clutches you and tries to catch his breath.
“What’s going on? What happened?” Ashton’s voice cuts through and brings you both to your feet. Calum doesn’t let go of you, face buried against your shoulder, but he finds some breath and wrestles with words and comes up empty.
“We get to take her home,” you explain and Calum suddenly hears Mali too, excited gasps and squeals sounding all around. Calum doesn’t let go of you but he feels his sister and best friend join the hug and appreciates their presence more than any choked up words could explain.
“Right now? I’ll go get the car,” Ashton asks and is reeling and ready to go but is stopped short.
“Tonight or in the morning,” you explain and Calum is grateful you’re strong enough to find words when he can’t. He continues holding you when Mali and Ashton break away, spilling their excitement out in bursts followed by tears.
He feels your hands in his hair again and the gentle sway of your body rocking him as he tries to ground himself into the reality that she really is okay. That nights filled with worries and days packed with exhaustion and waiting and waiting and waiting are going to be over. He breathes a little easier and finally detaches himself from you. You wipe his tears and he wipes yours and small laughs formed from disbelief and exhaustion spill past your lips.
“We have to finish her forms,” you remind and Calum doesn’t hesitate to dig into his jacket pocket where the papers for her birth certificate have been on standby. All that’s left to fill in is her name. “Should we go with…?” you ask and trail off as you peek at Mali and Ashton who are waiting with great suspense. Calum nods.
You fumble with the paper and pen and write her name out against the wall. You stay silent as you turn back to the group. You can sense Mali and Ashton are trying to be patient but the anticipation grows and keeps them on edge. All you do is silently hand them the paper so they can read for themselves.
“Mila Ashe Hood,” Mali reads in a breathy whisper coated with surprise. “She’s named after us?”
“After her godparents,” Calum says, finally finding some words but getting the wind knocked out of him once more as another group hug ensues. “Thank you guys, for everything, we couldn’t have made it without you.”
“That’s what family is for,” Ashton says without hesitation. “Now get in there and celebrate with her.”
***
“Do you want to hold her first?” you ask and look up at Calum with wide eyes. He meets your gaze, remembers your outstretched arm falling as they took her away, your pained and whispered words of just wanting to hold her, the way you flinched with fear at the sight of doctors outside the window. He wants to hold her but he wants you to have the moment you’ve been missing for seven days.
“It’s all you, sweetheart, you can go first,” he says and is content to watch with adoration and love as you reach into the open incubator she will be leaving for good momentarily to take her into your arms for the first time.
“Hi love bug,” you whisper as she settles in your hold; eyes open, quiet and content. “She’s so tiny and beautiful and perfect,” you say and softly rub her back. Calum sees tears in your eyes and for one of the first times in a week he knows they’re made of happiness. “Are you ready to go home?”
Mila doesn’t so much as squirm and you both take her contentment as a resounding yes. Calum lets you hold her for a few minutes more, takes several photos to capture the moment forever, knowing neither of you will ever want to forget. Mila’s eyes find Calum and his heart flutters.
“That’s daddy,” you tell her in a coo. “Do you want to go see daddy?”
The slow motion of Calum’s world stops as his entire universe ends up cradled in his arms. Mila weighs barely five pounds and Calum surmises your guess of her fitting in one hand would be right. But he holds her with all of the soft strength and love he has and wonders if he’ll ever be ready to let go.
“Ashton’s bringing the car around,” you inform. “Her car seat…”
“Luke dropped by and installed it,” Calum responds and laughs when you give him an uncertain look. “I’ll make sure it’s secure.” He would never let anything bad happen to his baby girl.
The transition from the hospital to the car goes fast in comparison to the agonizing wait of seven days. You both sit in the back with her, holding her hands, talking to her and enjoying the feeling of freedom from the incubator and anxiety. Mila is back in your arms and seeing her home for the first time in what seems like no time at all. The car ride flew by. Calum heads down the hall and takes a peek at the nursery.
“Sweetheart, come look,” he calls down the hall and pushes the door fully open when you and Mila reach him.
The sight of the finished nursery is breathtaking. You and Calum show Mila around her room; from the white crib and the pictures of woodland creatures above, to the rocker in the corner and the endless clothes that line her drawers.
“This is your room,” you coo, and shift your weight from one foot to the other, already noting that she likes a small rhythm when she’s held. “You’ll sleep right here when you’re bigger. For now you sleep right by mommy and daddy.”
You go across the hall to your room where her bassinet is set up and timidly ask Calum if it can switch sides of the bed so she can be near you. You explain it’s so you can feed her easier in the night but Calum doesn’t need an explanation, he’d do anything for you and her. He makes the switch and you gently lay her inside, kiss her forehead and clutch Calum as he stands by your side.
“I want to have more kids, I want her to have a sibling like you and Mali but I can’t go through that again,” you whisper and Calum can hear the heartache in your tone.
He pulls you close. “She will. We wanted to adopt, remember?”
You light up at that and smile with such sincerity it takes the ache right from your hearts. “Yeah. We’ll adopt,” you say and snuggle against Calum’s chest as a smirk grows on your face. “So, do you want to start that process tomorrow or?”
Calum bellows out a laugh and runs his fingers through your hair.
“Let’s take a breather, yeah? Enjoy being home with her for just a bit.”
“Okay,” you concede and Calum lets you drag him to bed where you can both rest. With his arms around you and your eyes on Mila who has fallen fast asleep you let out a content sigh and Calum smiles.
“I love you,” Calum says once and then again, one for you and one for Mila and you repeat the same back to them.
“I’m so happy to be home with my family,” you say around a sigh.
Seven months of pregnancy and seven days in the hospital have worn you both thin but in that moment there’s no other place you’d rather be. Beside your baby and in each other’s arms. The wait and anxiety are worth it once you find that all you have now is happiness and love. Calum and Mila.
<< >>
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Premature birth can come with many complications. What was depicted in this fic is one scenario of struggles parents and preemies can face. If you feel so inclined there are amazing charities to check out to help support families and babies in their time of need. Overall, stay kind and spread love and support.
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binniesthighs · 4 years ago
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call me babydoll | reader x chan
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a/n: ahhhhh wow WOW cuties LOL i was not expecting this fic idea to keep me up in my sleep and occupy all my waking thoughts BUT thank you so so  much for you words of support!! hehe well....here we goooo i hope that ya’ll are ready teehee--also tags will be added as they come! You can read part one here
Two 
Pairing: self insert, female reader x bang chan 
Genre: action, mystery and suspense, fluff, smut, angst 
Tags: (of this part) bodyguard au, secret agent au, royal au, moderndayprince!chan, secretagent!reader, secretagent!jeongin, secretagent!jisung, skz side characters, adventure and mystery, action and peril, plot driven, running out of time, slow-ish burn, growing feelings, sexual tension, explicit language, jeongin in this fic is my bb and i will protect him, sexy and smart jeongin tho still hehe 
CWs: mentions of death, people dying/killing, mentions of blood and wounds, mentions of getting drunk, hungover, and vomiting, a bombing. 
Word count: 5.2k 
Parts
ONE | TWO | THREE
The road was long and winding, pitch black, desolate, quiet and foreign. In the backseat of the car, Chan had slumped his head over on Jeongin’s shoulder and bobbed with the motions of the road. His nose would twitch in his sleep, and he would make little grunts of nonsense words. He had worked himself up after the banquet, and actually hadn’t stopped his “love confessions” until you told him to shut up or you would shut him up. 
Your partner’s glasses were illuminated from the screen of his laptop which he tapped quietly away at. You too felt drowsy, but sleep would be for later once you had properly arrived at the safe house, or safe hotel, or safe hole in the ground...whatever it was. 
“You hear anything from Carroll?” You slung your arm over the seat and lowered your voice. 
“Nothing yet.” His eyes flicked around the screen. “It’s almost like it’s too quiet. I’ve already told her that we have the prince and that he’s safe, but..nothing.” 
“You don’t think...they got targeted too?” 
Chan snored lightly on his bodyguard’s shoulder, and he didn’t dare to move an inch. 
“I sure as hell hope not. But...that would explain why things have been so quiet. If this was a larger scale attack...I don’t know what this could mean then.” 
From the darkness of the outside world in the car windows, you passed a forest of pines and oher types of stoic trees making up the mountainside. 
“Well, I think that we should be optimistic for the time being.” 
Jeongin nodded. He looked to be a mess: blood had splattered at his white shirt collar and in specks on his neck. His cracked lenses however, didn’t keep him from his work. He had pulled his tie loosely around his neck, and had also provided his jacket as a pseudo-blanket of sorts for the prince. The prince, had offered his own jacket to you seeing as you only had your dress, but you had been managing just fine. You accepted it, but only because it could soothe his chivalrous ego. He had a hard night already, so you saw it best. 
“Two, where are you taking us?” You called to the mysterious driver. 
Ever since meeting him at the hotel, he had been nearly silent the whole ride. 
The man cleared his throat, “As far away from here as I can. I don’t know of any safe houses so...I’m just trying to remove us.” 
“I can find one for us if Carroll doesn’t get back to me....which she should...” 
Jeongin was not one for speaking of his mother as anything other than his boss. Since he had been assigned to be your partner a few months ago, he had never referred to her as his mother, nor did he ever seem to harbor any emotion for the stern woman. Both of them had been a bit allusive to you, but that was simply how it was in this line of work. You didn’t know things about the people around you, and you didn’t need to ask. You had wondered if he had worried about her, or thought about her when you were on missions. The young man had trained rigorously, and had passed each exam from the academy with flying colors. After considering it for a while, you figured what immense pressure he must've been under: son of the woman in charge, a master at infiltration, espionage, manipulation, cybersecurity, and a million more things; he had to prove himself and more. 
You couldn’t have asked for a better partner, but you almost did wish that you had known more. 
Two fiddled with the radio, settling on a station that played some kind of country-western type music. 
“What’s your specialty Two? How’d you end up a part of this shitshow?” 
The driver laughed, then hummed along with the music for a moment. “This has been my gig for few years, but I’ve never been a part of this unit before. Carroll always saw it best for my services to be used in other places.” 
“You have a specialty?” Jeongin asked while still typing furiously. 
Two scratched the back of his head. “I do a little bit of everything. But...let’s just say that I’m good at making friends. That’s why Carroll likes me.” 
“--You know her personally?” Your partner quipped, but the edge to his voice didn’t sound like judgement, but rather caution. 
“We’ve had a few meetings.” 
“Hm.” 
You kicked off your heals to massage your aching toes. If only they had attacked at a time when you had the proper footwear. 
“You said we could also call you J?” You sprawled over the back seat in an attempt to make yourself more comfortable. Still, the plastic seatbelt buckles poked into your back. 
“Yes. You can call me J.” 
And that was that. No “What’s J stand for”, or “where are you from”, “where’s your home base,” “how did you rank at the academy?” You added questions to the list of things that weren’t allowed as well. 
Jeongin tore off his glasses with an exasperated sigh to rub at his tired eyes. Chan made a happy little noise, presumably because he had found a cozier spot on Jeongin’s shoulder. He had now gotten the chance to sleep off his drunken stupor that may or may not had contributed to his sudden confession, and the reason behind the two pitstops you had taken for him to retch on the side of the road. 
If he was a prince, he might’ve also been one mess of a prince. In all of his grace and confidence, the pleasures that he partook in would often get the best of him at times too. 
You gave up on trying to get some sleep, but rather sat up to watch that paradoxically handsome and misshapen prince. Just like this: sleeping, vulnerable, with some kind of lopsided smirk on his face, he was much less than the regal figure that you had painted him to be in your mind. For maintaining appearances the whole day long, you hadn’t ever really gotten the chance to see him like this before. His façade faded, and you surmised that maybe he really was different from the way that he let on. 
“I’m so fucking tired.” Jeongin yawned. 
“Get some sleep then. I’ll stay up to watch things.” 
“That’s just it. I can’t sleep even if I tried.” 
“What do you mean?” 
“Can you pass me some hand sanitizer or something? There’s...blood on my hands.” 
Your partner’s voice cracked slightly. It was then when you realized that this had been the first time that he had fired at real people. 
“I’ve got a water bottle? Is that enough?” 
“Yeah. It’s fine.” 
He splashed the liquids around while wiping his hands away, then flicked the remnants of water away. 
“Something about this doesn’t sit right with me.” 
“How do you mean?” 
Chan’s coat draped over your shoulders, and you pulled it in closer around your arms. The night had been cool, and the AC blasting in the car didn’t make it much better. 
Jeongin licked his lips. “Nothing was supposed to happen tonight. We made sure of it. No one was suspicious, we ran background checks, we checked the whole area...” 
“Hey,” You attempted to turn your tone softer, “We couldn’t have seen it coming. They just rolled up out of nowhere, there was no way that we could’ve stopped it--” 
“--Innocent people died tonight. If they were out for the prince, or maybe they weren’t, why so much collateral damage?” 
“Obviously they don’t care.” 
“Bastards.” Jeongin took the last bits of water to slug. “We’re gonna fucking find out why they did all of this.” 
Two shifted in his seat, “Any word? Hate to mention it, but I’m getting kinda tired. It’s past three already.”  
“Fox?” 
He clicked around, then shook his head. “Still nothing.” 
Chan snorted a bit in his sleep: an action which woke him up. 
“Wha-what? Where are we? Are the there yet? What time is it? Fuck...my head feels like it’s splitting...” 
“We’re finding somewhere, your Highness. We’ll be there soon.” Your partner motioned for you to hand him another water to give to the disorientated prince. 
Chan nodded while he rubbed his temples. “Shit. Please tell me that I just made this all up. That it’s some kind of fucked up nightmare...” 
You threw Chan’s coat back to him. “Unfortunately, no. We’re trying to figure out everything that we can.” 
“Who the hell were those guys?” Water dripped down his neck in a way that you pretended not to notice. “They were wearing crests. I couldn’t tell, but weren’t they red?” 
“Very observant, your Highness. F?” 
The younger man bit his lip, “I’ve already tried finding where the crest is from, but I can’t find anything that resembles it within our database. I was able to see one up close. It looked like a heart or something like that, and a diamond. I’m guessing that it could’ve been maybe a spade? Like the kind that you see on playing cards? Still, since we’ve never seen it before, we can only assume that they must be a new group.” 
Chan nodded, but anyone could tell that the information had flown right over his head. He licked at his wet lips, then sighed. 
“Bee, You okay? Fox? I suppose that I should ask you both.” 
“I’m...fine.” His sudden concern came as a surprise, and your partner looked just as shocked. 
“I-I’m fine too. No holes in me or anything.” Jeongin suppressed a laugh. “But you’re not, your Highness. How much did you have to drink?” 
“Oh...enough. I guess that I lost track at some point. Those kind of things are boring anyway.” 
“Fox? You’ve got that locale?” Two clicked the turn signal. 
“Oh! Yeah, I’ve got one. Sorry, It’s about an hour from here.” 
“Locale?” Chan cocked his head. 
“A safe house. Or something like that. We need to lie low while we wait for instructions.” 
“No one has said anything...? Not even...my father?” 
Jeongin shook his head gravely. “No.” 
The young prince fell silent, and you watched as worry fell over his clouded eyes that were lined with bags. Normally his expression was anything but strained, but in this moment, you saw doubt sweep over him like the darkness on the road ahead. You leaned the farthest you could from your seat to grab at his hand behind you. 
“You’re safe with us. Nothing is going to happen to you.” 
His hand was warm, maybe a little clammy, but it was soft, like that of a prince, naturally. Still, it was strong and veined. Chan’s thumb rubbed soft little circles into your own skin, muttering, “Thank you.” For once, his eyes which would normally devour you like some kind of rare dish held you earnestly. I trust you, they said. 
“Two. Let’s switch.” Jeongin slammed his laptop closed. “I’ve got it from here.” 
━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━
The safe house was quiet. As most of them where. It was even a bit stereotypical: a little cottage in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by woods on nearly all sides. It had a little overgrown garden, and a shed that looked like it held either all kinds of gardening equipment, or the real thing that sheds were meant for in your business: ammo. It had a white painted porch with cracking paint, as well as porch swing with rusting chains. In the early morning the windows were are black, but still faintly reflected the massive array of sparking stars above your heads. The only thing less antique about the home was the touch keypad on the front door. It beeped with a little tune, then flashed the insignia of the agency: a ticking clock. 
“Two, can you find a generator or something? Get the electricity up and going?” 
“Can do,” He said, then disappeared. 
Two was mostly a quiet man, a feature that gave you both reasons to trust him and to be suspicious. Besides him being a bit smaller in stature with thin legs and characteristically round cheeks, there was something different about him that you couldn’t place; something unexpected. You wished once again that questions weren’t on the list of things that weren’t allowed. 
“There should be clothes around here somewhere.” Jeongin padded his way through the dark rooms. “You shower first your Highness.” 
Chan tripped over his feet as he spread out his arms to find his way. You giggled lightly at the action. A man really was stripped down of any and all sense of composure when his life had been threatened and he had to have his bodyguards pat his back while he had gotten sick after one too many royal drinks. 
The lights flashed on, flickering at first with the sound of the lightbulbs waking up after a long sleep. The interior design of the place was exactly as you had expected: it was a family home with a fireplace and several chairs and couches covered in dust. Bookshelves were full with the strangest assortment of reading material and board games there held a thin layer of grey dust too. The kitchen was small and cozy: it had all the necessities. A stained glass chandelier hung over the wooden table for eight, and was decorated with glass hummingbirds and pink flowers. In odd corners of the house, children’s toys had been sitting untouched. A family must’ve been living there, and you wondered what must’ve become of them. 
Two returned with spiderwebs caught on his dress coat. “Water should be hot in about thirty minutes or so I think.” 
Your partner crossed the room, raking a hand through his snowy white hair. “I’m gonna try and make the calls again. See if I get anything. If not, we’ll have to...begin Operation Cheshire.” 
It was the phrase that you had hoped neither you nor your partner would have to say. 
Chan slumped down in one of the upholstered chairs, throwing dust into the air as he did. Compared to the rest of the room, him and his designer clothes seemed comically out of place. “Wha-what’s that?” 
Two pinched between his eyes, and your chest shook with an unsure inhale. 
“It means that we assume the worst. HQ got taken over and we’re all at risk. Information about us could be accessible to anyone. Essentially, we go into sleeper mode until we can reconvene with other agents...if there are any more. We dissapear. Next, we work on getting you back home, no matter what it takes.” 
“HQ?” What are you talking about?” Chan toyed with his diamond set cufflinks. “HQ? Like whoever manages the bodyguards??” 
“Your Highness...” You and your partner exchanged knowing glances. “We’re more than bodyguards.” 
“What?!” 
“We’re operatives. Agents. We work for an intelligence agency that specializes in a bunch of different things...protecting royalty if needed.” 
“What the fuck?! Why didn’t anyone tell me? Chan slapped his leg. “Fuck! No one tells me anything!!! I get that I’m a fucking prince but I’m not fucking useless!” 
The memory of the confidential file reemerged in your memory: the promise that you had made to His Majesty The King after he had requested a “special hire” to watch over his son. The file itself had contained a several thousand words or so that you hadn’t bothered to read, but rather skimmed till you got to the signature part. Carroll had simply nodded before you put your pen to the paper. 
“It was for your saf--” 
“--My father did this, didn’t he? Didn’t he? Some kind of sick way to keep tabs on me? See what I’m doing?? God! The man never trusts me. If the thinks that I’m that much of a disappointment...this is just--” 
“Your Highness, it’s been a long day, you’ve been through a lot, just take a shower and get some rest. Alright? We’ll talk more about this in the morning.” Two stepped forward with his hands folded in front of him. His interjection was unlike his previously quiet presence. 
The prince sighed, tapping his tragically expensive shoe on the hardwood. 
“Fine. We’ll talk about it in the morning.” 
Chan’s eyes grew dark with an authoritative air that you had seen before. His façade had slipped over him like a cloak. He rose, buttoning his jacket, then tweaking his sliver brooches decorating his neck. 
“Fox. Bee. Two. Thank you. Good evening.” 
━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━
Chan knew that it was you at the door when you would knock two times, then pause, and knock twice more. In your hands, you held a cup of warm milk. For a prince, even he couldn’t reject the beverage to help him fall asleep at night. You had seen him order it at hotels on more than one occasion. Jeongin had found a nearby store to get food for the morning. The two of you had suddenly found yourselves as now both his bodyguards and his servants. While you waited, you hoped to God that Carroll would compensate you for the extra work. 
The door creaked open, revealing your prince modestly dressed in plaid flannel, hair dripping slightly in wet strands. You had never seen him as simple as this before: no princely persona or cold exterior to upkeep. He looked...normal. 
“What is it Bee?” 
“I thought you might like some...well, this.” You provided him with the cup. “I know that it’s nearly morning, but you should still try to sleep in. We’ll take care of things. 
He took the ceramic mug from your hands, fingers barely brushing against yours for mere moments. 
“Thank you.” He hushed with a thankful smile. “Would you like to come in? We could...just kind of...sit for a minute.” 
Behind him, sun peaked at the horizon, a splitting of red piercing the navy deep of the night. The colors muddled, blurred, a bit like the color of blood fading into the deep fabric of one’s formal wear. It was desolate, but still beautiful. 
“To be honest,” His eyes fell, “I don’t want to be alone right now.” 
You had saved the biggest room for him. It smelled of mothballs and other old things like sheets that had rested in a dark room for much too long. Still, there was a kind of familiarity to it all and the way that the matted rugs and brass vintage lamps lit the room with a soft yellow light. The full sized bed creaked once you had sat down. In his golden halo, Chan’s brown strands appeared to be softer, and not as prim and staged. 
“I’m sorry for snapping earlier. I realized that there are things that are out of my control. You know more than I do, and I accept that. I trust you...a-and Fox.” 
You rubbed your hands into the jeans you had found in the cupboard. They had dirt and grass stains from work in the garden you presumed. 
“It’s okay. I understand that you would be scared. It’s okay to be. I...get scared sometimes too. I know that it might look like it, but I fear...for my life too. So does Jeong--Fox.” 
Chan’s voice cracked. “Is someone out to kill me?” 
You sighed, sensing his hesitation. “I don’t know. But we will know soon.” 
The prince stared down at the white bubbles in his milk, then swirled around the liquid to watch the way that that it moved. 
“I don’t think I’d like to die. Would be pretty unfortunate, don’t you think? I feel like I’ve got so many other things to do. A kingdom to manage, people to govern, much more bottles of Scotch to drink, parties to attend...” 
His eyes met yours, and you could see the very fragility of the life that he spoke of right in them. He was right in that dumb speech of his. He really was just a person. 
“...I like to think that I’ll get married someday to someone that I love. I actually would really like to do that.” He chuckled. “Lame, right? Someone like me who always bounces around. Wouldn’t take me for one?” 
“Mm. No. I think that from what I’ve observed of you, and I’m trained to observe, I think that bouncing around...means you’re looking for the right thing. And, I guess that it’s fun too.” 
Chan chuckled, “You’re good at observing.” 
You paused, remembering Lee Minho from earlier. 
“Were you looking when you were talking to that man at the banquet? He was very handsome.” 
The prince placed the cup down. “He was. I don’t know. He just seemed kind of interesting. The kind of mystery that only a stranger has. I would’ve liked to have talked to him more now that I think about it. Maybe it would’ve been worth my time.” Chan twisted his back to crack it. “I don’t know if you saw but he had some really nice fucking thighs.” 
“Ahhh. Nice thighs. Didn’t know that you cared for that.” 
The two of you laughed together a bit like old friends. It felt nice. 
“...Bee. I should also probably apologize for how I acted back before we got in the car. I was...drunk, scared. I said some things--” 
“--That you were in love with me?” 
“Yeah...that. I realized that...I’ve been...unfair to you. You don’t deserve the ridicule. You’ve only ever been helpful to me and--” 
“--Don’t worry about it. It’s fine.” You shrugged. You had met hundreds of guys like him before, at least you thought. 
Chan sighed as if he was gathering himself. “Bee. I did mean what I said.” 
“What? Ch-your Highness, you don’t mean that.” 
He laughed, “It’s alright. You can call me Chan. And...yes. I did. You’ve got a kind of mystery to you too. Frankly, I can’t stop thinking about it.” 
“This...this is inappropriate.” You shifted, the rising off the bed. Your cheeks warmed, but you couldn’t know why. Maybe he was just too damn charming. But, he was like that with everyone. 
He rose too, hastily following you on your way to the door. “Bee, wait.” 
“Chan, you can’t do this. It makes things...complicated.” 
He advanced, slowly, closing the space between you. “It’s only complicated if you feel the same.” 
“I-I don’t.” 
The prince’s hand carefully rose to cup your face, a gesture so gentle that you shied from the feeling. Even this close still he smelled of white roses. 
“Have you ever heard of conflict of interest?” Your breath hitched. 
Chan grinned, “There you go making this complicated again.” 
A wandering hand of yours acting on its own reached to tug hold of his shirt. 
The prince leaned in closer, nearly close enough to breech the gap between his plush lips and yours. 
“What if I don’t mind making things...” He whispered the word, grazing his mouth over yours, “...complicated?” 
“Ch--” 
He pressed his weight fully into you, a smashing of lips met with incessant heat and your back shoved into the door. His tongue easily twisted around yours, and his soft gasps filled up your mouth. It had taken you a couple seconds to realize what had happened, and to decide what to do with yourself. His mouth was blazing, it was as if he was weaving a spell, or perhaps you had made it up for yourself. He kissed you with vitality; like he had never tasted anything like you before and was starving for you. You realized, perhaps you had wondered what it would’ve felt like. One hand squeezed tighter to his shirt, and you kissed back, meeting his heat. 
Jeongin’s voice called down the hall, “Bee? Bee, are you there?” The sound of your bedroom door shut. 
You pushed Chan off you with flat hands on his chest and an amazed smile on his face. 
“This...this doesn’t mean anything.” You gasped, reaching for the knob after a moments pause. 
Chan snickered, shoving his hands in his pockets. 
“Goodnight your Highness.” 
━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━
For a man so young Jeongin liked his coffee black, and drank it like an old man too with his nose buried in a newspaper while it fogged up his glasses--or what was left of them. 
“I finally got correspondence from Carroll this morning. She said that HQ experienced some kind of blackout and all the systems went offline. It wasn’t safe for her to contact us on a regular line. They got everything back up and running and everything seems fine, or so they think.” 
Your partner had already made himself comfortable in a pair of sweatpants and a cotton tee with slippers. You never would’ve guessed that he was a trained assassin on the side. 
Two returned huffing in the door from his morning run. He was one of those people. 
“Any word?” He rubbed his face off with a dishtowel. 
“Disgusting.” You sneered at the crude action. 
“Well, we’ve got thousands of miles between us and the kingdom and what seems like a hell of a lot of guys on our tail, but, after I sent Carroll the info about the red crest, she wants us to do some digging. 
“With the prince in tow?” You lowered your voice lest the sleeping royal heard you. “I don’t think so.” 
“It sounds like she’s convinced that the person behind all of this could be someone who attended the charity ball. And, I don’t really disagree. They must be good at keeping secrets if they evaded us.” 
“Hm. You’re right. A high profile event like that, even though its for a good cause it’s always a competition with those snobs. I just don’t know who could order something so cruel...all those people in the same place...” 
“Since it’s a new group, they must still be underground. So, to see who lives underground, you’ve got to go there yourself to find out. Or, in our case, find someone who knows the rabbit hole.” 
Two grabbed a chair, ruffling his deep brown soaked hair. “What does that mean?” 
Jeongin flipped his laptop around. “This is the man that we need to go see. Codename White Rabbit. Or as he calls himself--” 
“--Bun.” You cut in. “Yeah, I know him.” 
Both of the men chimed, “You do?” 
“Yeah, he’s undercover ops for the agency. He’s sort of a jack of all trades. He owns some kind of front out in Egypt. It’s called The Tea Party. Bar up front, but in the back he provides all kinds of information--for both sides. His cut is that for any information he gives to the agency he gets cash compensation. If anyone would know about anything underground, it would be him. As I’m sure Carroll told you, he’s a stickler for meeting in person. He’s one of us. I think.” 
“You think?” 
“He also does...other deviant things. I heard that these days he’s had a couple dealings in some...substances. Black market stuff. Carroll also provides safety for his business in return for his information.” 
“That...sounds illegal. Immoral even.” Jeongin’s eyes widened upon hearing the news about his mother. 
“You’ve got to pay to play you know.” 
“So Egypt then?” Two wiped off the back of his neck with the dishtowel, stretching out one of his toned arms. “I’ve always wanted to go there.” 
“Oh--one more thing.” Jeongin took a rather long sip from his cup. “The King’s counsel reached out to me too this morning. They asked me if the Prince was safe and where we were. I have them loose details of both. They seemed somewhat relieved.” 
Chan sauntered down the steps with a massive yawn, stretching up his arms and shirt to reveal an inkling of his abs. You also pretended not to notice it. 
“Gooood morning everyone. Fox. Two.” He dished out a wink. “Bee.” 
“Morning your Highness.” Jeongin nodded, and crossed his legs. “Feeling well?” 
“Ahhh much better.” He poured himself a cup of coffee in the kitchen, staring out the little window over the sink, then took an indulgent sip. “It’s peaceful here. I kind of like that.” 
“Your Highness, we’ve received word--” 
Chan rose his hand to shush your partner, then languidly took another sip. “I’m still enjoying my drink F.” 
A light buzzing resonated somewhere in the house, a bit like the sound of a dryer, and the home started vibrating. Your water glass on the table rippled. 
“Two, did you notice if there was anything strange about the house?” 
The buzzing grew nearer. 
Two looked puzzled, “No, why?” 
The vibrating grew more violent, and your glass shuddered off the wooden table, shattering on the ground upon impact. 
Chan squinted out the window, “Is that a--” 
“CHAN GET DOWN!” You shrieked. 
Within milliseconds the whistling of a bomb screeched through the air, then crashed into the rickety ceiling, splintering wood everywhere and demolishing the furniture. 
You had seconds to act while the matte black bomb hissed with a steam releasing from some seam and ticked. You sprinted to grab Chan’s arm as hard as you possibly good, all in a blur, pummeling your bodies against one of the shattered windows, and hurling yourself out to the morning dew. You had no time to see if Jeongin or Two had made their exit, but looked out, towing the prince so hard you must’ve done some damage to his shoulder. You stumbled to your feet, tripping, and grunting until the bomb diffused, and exploded the cottage altogether. You covered Chan’s head and most of his body with your own as a shield and the shards of wood, metal, and brick came flying. 
“Ar-are you okay?” You patted the prince down in his shock, who stared blankly with empty eyes. 
The prince’s flannel had been torn to shreds with glass, and blood oozed onto the fabric on his arms. 
“Yeah...yeah...I’m...fine.” 
“BEE! Y/N!” Jeongin screamed over the flames to find you. 
“OVER HERE!” You bellowed back, and your partner came running with Two behind him with terrible cuts on his face. 
“They knew. They FUCKING knew.” He panted after reaching you. 
“We have to get out of here.” Two gasped, and blood ran down his face, nearly into his eye. “If they know where we are now, they’ll come to check to see if the damage is done. We have to move.”  
The sky filled with an angry smoke, and the once peaceful forest filled with the colors of orange and red. 
“The car?” 
“Broken windows from the blast but I should be able to get it going. There’s spare parts in the shed. And ammo. A fuck ton of it.” 
“We’ll need it.” 
You pulled the prince to his feet as he blinked wildly at you and your team. 
“Fuck.” Was all the could manage. 
In your complete surprise, Chan’s bloodied and cracked hands pulled your face into his, kissing you with lips that tasted of the salt of blood. 
“I fucking love you Bee. I’ve decided.” 
Jeongin’s jaw dropped in the corner of your eye, so you promptly slapped the prince upside the face. 
“You’re in shock. We need to get out of here.” 
A wrinkled smile danced on the royal’s face, and you might’ve thought that it was a bit charming. 
“Admit it. You love me too Bee.” 
~🌹~ 
Bunch of (Ro)ses! 
@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @eunaeiekim @julesinthesoop
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givemeweasley · 4 years ago
Text
What You Want
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George Weasley x Reader
Word Count: 1.8k
Warnings: FWB so definitely hints at things getting spicy, and also angst but happy endings because I love a good happy ending
-----
It is one thing to be intimate and quite another to be in love.
-----
The first time you slept with him was somewhat of a drunken mishap. It was the night after Gryffindor won against Ravenclaw. Giving Gryffindor a shot at winning the Quidditch Cup that year. The lot of you congregated in the common room and passed the fire whiskey around like it was water.
Before you knew it, music was blasting and you were losing yourself in the middle of the spectacle. Somewhere along the way, George, your best friend had found you and wound his body around yours.
The two of you had flirted many times, but it was always in good fun. Neither of you considered romance.
Until George’s hands slid up the back of your shirt and pulled your lips to his. His lips tasted like firewhiskey and sugar from the food you know he’d had a part in sneaking out of the kitchens.
Your arms coiled around his neck before he pushed you against the wall. You lost yourself on the feeling of his lips, and if the firewhiskey hadn’t rendered you drunk, you were sure George’s lips would’ve had the same effect.
His lips began to descend down your face and to your collarbone where they caressed and licked. A breathy moan left your lips as you tugged at his hair.
“George.” Your voice came out breathier than you anticipated.
“Tell me no.” He sounded desperate, but his hands went on searching your body.
“Please.” You gasped as he licked your neck.
And as if that was all he needed to hear, his hands came around your thighs and lifted you. You clung to him and ignored the few jeers that came as he carried you up the stairs and to his dorm.
You lost yourselves in each other that night. His body fit perfectly with your own, as if you had finally found the harmony to your own movements.
When you woke up the next morning, you were wrapped in his arms. You tried not to let panic grip you at the thought of what just happened. Did you enjoy it? Immensely. But you weren’t willing to sacrifice your friendship for one night of bliss.
Thoughts raced in your head at a million miles an hour. Should you leave? Should you wake George? Should you pretend none of this happened?
George must’ve felt you stir, because he tightened his hold. “You’re being fidgety.” He muttered.
You nearly leapt out of your skin. “George?” You whispered.
“Who else would it be, love?” He paused. “Unless you thought I was Fred?” There was a hint of something in his voice you didn’t care to unpack. So instead you flipped in his arms to face him.
One soft brown eye was open staring at you. His hair was messy and curled in places from where you pulled at it the night before.
Heat rose to your cheeks.
“I have a proposition for you.” George said, twirling a piece of your hair between his fingers. You raised a brow. “I enjoyed this.” He waved down at your still naked bodies. “I assume you enjoyed it too?” You nodded slowly before he rolled on top of you, a smirk on his handsome face. “What if we did it again?” His lips lowered to yours. “And again.” They moved down to your jaw. “And again.” Neck. “And again.” Collarbone. “And again.”
“Wait-” You choked out.
His head lifted as his brows raised. “Yeah?” He was out of breath too.
“Rules.” You panted.
His lips tightened but he nodded. “No strings but no one else either.”
You didn’t know why your heart stuttered at that but you nodded anyway. George’s smirk came back onto his face.
“Now where was I?” And again he descended.
You lost track of everything, only knowing pleasure underneath his mouth.
Eventually, you had to separate and get dressed. You hadn’t even noticed the dorm was empty until you walked down stairs to go to your dorm and saw four boys sleeping on the furniture scattered throughout the common room. Quickly, you showered and changed trying to hide the heat that you knew lingered on your cheeks.
-----
Before you knew it, the two of you were still best friends but with quite frequent benefits. And somewhere along the way, you looked at him differently.
You began to notice how his skin wrinkled at the edges of his eyes as he laughed, or how his fist clenched in his lap whenever he was frustrated but not enough to act upon it. A million little things and mannerisms about George filtered their way into your knowing. You grew more and more familiar with him everyday. It made your heart swell.
You reveled in the moments the two of you were together. Everywhere else, George looked at you like you were a friend. But when his body was against yours, his eyes looked at you like treasure. Something precious and valuable. You craved that look more than anything.
Maybe it was why you hadn’t said anything. You had two rules. No strings and no one else. George hadn’t seemed to want to renege on those rules, so why should you? There was a feeling deep in your gut that told you saying anything would be disastrous. That the rules had been set for a reason. You were both just blowing off steam because you trusted each other to do so. Right?
“Y/N?” His voice cut through your thoughts. You turned to face him, he was standing over the table you had claimed in the back of the library. The same table that he had-
“Y/N? You alive?”
You flinched and bit your lip but nodded quickly. George’s eyes shifted to the table before looking back at you with a grimace on his face. You sat up straighter. Usually George would’ve smirked and laughed. So why did he look so solemn?
“I wanted to talk to you about something.” Your stomach dropped. There was no way he knew occlumency. But your heart stuttered as if he was already shifting through your every thought like it was a book. But we need to talk or any version of those words were the ones you had been dreading to hear.
“Wh-which is?” You coughed hoping it would cover up your nervousness.
George looked away, his face pointed at the rows upon rows of books. “We can’t sleep together anymore.” His voice was resolute. Solid. A tone you’d only heard him take a number of times.
Your throat felt constricted as a million emotions flooded your system. Disbelief. Confusion. Hurt. Shame. Anger. At the same time a million responses slammed against your mouth.
That’s all you have to say?
How could you?
No.
Why?
You don’t mean that.
But I love you.
But you knew George. Maybe even better than yourself. And you saw the decision was final in his eyes. Nothing you said would change his mind.
Tears gathered in your eyes as you forced your heart to turn to stone. You looked him head on. “Is that really what you want?”
You don’t think that he was expecting that, because his lips tightened impossibly and he became still. He became unreadable. His face as motionless as a statue.
“Yes.”
For a moment the two of you just stared at each other. Both of your expressions unreadable and impassive. There was so much you wanted to say, but you knew none of it would change the outcome.
So you turned away and looked out the window next to you.
Heart pounding you responded. “What about what I want?” You turned to meet his eyes once more.
But he was gone.
-----
The moon was high in the sky. You didn’t care if you got caught, you were tucked in a small corner that was easily passed by. Despite the brisk air seeping into your skin you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. The months distance from the one you loved was beginning to wear you thin.
Sobs began to heave from your chest in waves at the thought of him. Your hands pressed into your eyes at a poor attempt to stop the tears from falling. But it was futile. Your heart was broken. Yet, you weren’t sure if you would trade those brief moments you felt his love in his bed for the friendship you had before.
It all seemed so unfair.
Know his love and not have it? Or remain ignorantly blissful?
And then you heard footsteps.
You sniffed a bit before pulling yourself together. You may not have cared about getting caught, but you weren’t going to invite it if you could avoid it.
“I know you’re there, Y/N.” George's voice floated over the courtyard. You could see his figure silhouetted by the moonlight.
You turned your face, you couldn’t look at him.
“What do you want?” Your voice sounded cracked and broken. Exposing you more than you wished to be.
He stepped close enough he could’ve touched you. “I wanted to talk to you.”
Perhaps it was an attempt to guard your already broken heart, but the words came before you could think about what they meant. “Last time you said that was the last time you spoke to me, so forgive me if I don’t really care what you have to say.”
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw his head hang. “I’m a coward.”
You looked at him then.
“I’m a coward.” He said again, looking you in the eyes. You could see the pain lingering in the depths of his eyes. “I want you. Not just in my bed, but-” He rubbed the back of his neck. A nervous tick, you’d noticed. “I love you, Y/N. I’ve loved you for a long time. Even before the first time we slept together. I was just grateful for whatever version of love you offered. I was willing to live with it.”
“So why did you break it off?” It came out smaller than you anticipated.
He gave a half smile, but it had no real mirth in it. “I woke up one day and realized it wasn’t fair to you. We agreed on no feelings and I-”
“I asked you if that was what you wanted and you said yes.”
“I wanted you to be happy.”
You stood from your corner, chest to chest with the boy you loved. “Did you ever ask me?”
George didn’t move. Maybe he was scared, those vulnerable eyes shone down on you revealing as much. So you reached for his neck and cupped it like you had done so many times before.
“Ask me, George.” You pulled his face down, until your lips brushed against each other. Your breaths mingling.
“What would make you happy, love?” His arms gently and hesitatingly wound themselves around your waist. You could practically feel the calluses of his hands through your layers.
Smiling into his mouth, you replied.
“You.”
Taglist: @huffledor-able541​ @sarcasticallywitty15​
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fantastic-bby · 4 years ago
Text
One In A Million
Pairing: (F)Reader x Changbin ( ft housemates Felix and Jisung) 
Word count: 14.7k 
Genre: Fluff | Romance | Slow burn | Mermaid!Reader | Non-idol AU | College student!Changbin | Strangers to lovers 
Summary: In a world where magical creatures exist simultaneously with humans, Changbin, a marine biology student, knows that merfolk have been pushed to extinction by humans years before. However, while he’s at his regular smoking spot at the beach, he notices a figure watching him from the water...
Warnings: Cigarette use (Changbin) | Mentions of marijuana usage | Changbin almost drowns 
A/n: I may have gotten carried away ahaaaa... This is actually the longest fic I’ve ever written (it almost became longer) and I’m really happy with how it turned out so hopefully you guys enjoy it too owo 
Masterlist
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Changbin thinks he’s gone mad. He stares at the water in so much disbelief that he’s sure he’s gone mad. Looking down at the cigarette in his hand, he’s thinking that Felix has definitely laced it with something. If he wasn’t high, then why did he just see a person disappear into the water from the beach he’s standing at?! 
“Fucking Felix,” he curses as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. 
Binnie: Did you put something in my cigarettes? [03:54]
Lixie the weedie: No??? Why would I touch your cigs? [03:55]
He lets out another curse as he shoves his phone back into his pocket. When Changbin sees the head poke out from underneath the ocean’s surface, he’s slightly more convinced that it’s an actual person and not some drug that’s messing with his head. He looks around the beach—it’s empty other than him. It’s normal for the beach to be empty around this time. Changbin’s only out there every night because he wants to smoke and his housemate—Jisung—refuses to let anyone smoke cigarettes in the house. Jisung’s a funny guy. He would gladly take Felix’s joints and edibles, but he refuses to be a victim of secondhand smoking because of Changbin.  
Changbin’s phone buzzes twice in his pocket and he pulls it out once again. 
Sungie: Come back inside D:< You’re gonna catch a cold if you’re out there any longer [04:00]
Binnie The cigs keep me warm [04:00] 
He awaits Jisung’s next response to see the message being read. The chat bubble pops up, bouncing a few times to signal that he’s typing back only for it to disappear. Changbin looks back out into the ocean only to realise that whoever was watching him is gone. He sighs, wondering what kind of a person would be in the water during winter with how the temperatures drop way below freezing. 
Sungie: I’m locking the door if you don’t come back in 5 minutes [04:03]
Binnie: Fuck you [04:03]
Sungie: Attached image (1)
Of course he sends a love meme back. Changbin rolls his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. Jisung means well, he just shows his affection in a slightly more aggressive and dry manner than Changbin would. 
Binnie: I’ve accepted the love meme and I will be returning shortly <3 [04:05]
He gives the ocean one last look before turning around and heading towards the neighbourhood, putting his cigarette out in the process of walking. Changbin’s body shivers a few minutes into the 8 minute walk. Without the smoke warming his lungs and body, it’s just cold now. He knows he needs to stop and the constant excuses that he’s come up with to stay attached to those cancer sticks make Jisung want to punch him in the face. One of those excuses is being warm in the winter, which again, makes Jisung want to punch him. 
“I’m back,” Changbin announces as he steps into the small house and kicks his shoes off. Jisung pops his head out from the living room to look at him. 
“Lix and I are playing Super Smash Bros., do you wanna join?” 
“Uhh, I’ll pass,” he shakes his head as he steps into the living room to see Felix sitting on the couch. His Nintendo Switch is plugged into the TV, the baby pink controller in his hand while the other baby blue one is with Jisung. "Don't you have class in the morning?" 
"Our professor cancelled," he replies with a shrug as Jisung starts another round of the game. "I only have classes after lunch, so I'm not too worried about it." 
“Still,” Changbin chuckles. Unlike Changbin, Felix and Jisung somehow have more filled schedules than he does despite how they’re only first years and Changbin’s already in his third year. They’re always saying they have work they need to do when they’re doing pretty much anything else but their assignments.
“Why did you ask about your cigs?” Felix looks away from the screen for a split second to glance at Changbin.
The older man sucks a breath in through his teeth as he contemplates it. Felix and Jisung would definitely call him crazy, but they’ve lived with each other for the past four years, so it’s not like there’s any secrets between the three. “I thought I saw someone in the water for a moment, but then they disappeared.”
“In this temperature?” Jisung snorts. “You’d have to be crazy to take a dip in the ocean during winter.” Even though his attention is solely on the game, he takes a few glances towards his housemate when he realises that Changbin seems way more spaced out than usual. “You alright, hyung?” 
“Yeah,” Changbin nods quickly. “I just feel like that person may have not been… a human.” He doesn’t really know how the thought even came to him. It just popped out of nowhere when he swears that he saw a tailfin following after the person. 
“What?” Felix pauses the game and turns to look at him, earning a whine from Jisung. “What else could they have been?” Now Changbin really thinks he’s gone mad. He knows that if he actually spoke his thoughts, then Jisung and Felix would probably end up laughing at him. 
“I don’t know, man, I just feel like it could’ve been something else,” he shrugs, “like a mermaid or something.” 
“Merfolk went extinct years ago, hyung,” Jisung states, emphasizing on ‘years’, as he nudges Felix’s shoulder and unpauses the game. “Humans pushed the merfolk to extinction even before we were born. That includes sirens.” 
“Yeah, but you know how sometimes scientists declare a species extinct but it turns out they were just hiding somewhere else.” 
Felix and Jisung both pause the game once again before turning to look at their older housemate. “No way,” Felix shakes his head. 
“They’d have to have been really good at hiding or else the humans would’ve found them by now,” Jisung nods. 
“You think maybe the joint I gave you a few hours ago still has its effects on you?” he teases as he jabs Changbin’s bicep with his finger. In response, he yelps and swats at Felix’s hand until he leaves him alone. 
“I’m telling you, I know what I saw,” Changbin grumbles. “There was a fin following after them.” 
“It was probably another creature,” Jisung guesses as he turns back to the TV. “You know how water sprites can get too. Maybe it was one of them playing tricks on you.” 
“Water sprites don’t take the forms of other water creatures,” he states matter-of-factly. 
“Alright, Mr ‘I study magical creatures’,” he rolls his eyes. “Don’t think too much about it. It could’ve been something else.” 
“I don’t study magical creatures, I study the ocean’s ecosystem, asshole,” Changbin nags and reaches over Felix to punch Jisung’s arm. The younger man lets out an exaggerated howl of pain as he writhes around. 
“Felix, hyung is bullying me!” he whines. 
“Sounds like a you problem,” Felix snorts just as he manages to knock out Jisung’s character. “I win!” He shoots up from the couch with his arms up in the air, “I won because you’re too busy teasing Changbin hyung!” Jisung lets out an even louder whine. 
“That’s unfair! We have to play again! Let’s play another round!”
“It’s not unfair! I won!” Changbin crosses his arms over his chest, amused as he watches the younger men argue about whether or not they should play another game. They annoy him, sure, but Changbin’s harboured a soft spot for his housemates. As much as Felix makes him want to throw him out of the window and how Jisung makes him want to lock him in his own room, Changbin would do anything to keep them safe and happy. The feeling’s mutual across the three of them. 
Jisung, the designated demon of the house, once broke into Felix’s crazy ex-girlfriend's house and stole his hoodie back for him only to have objects thrown at him by her. Felix, the house mum, once almost lit a car on fire to try and save Jisung from being beat up by a gang of hooligans. Changbin, on the other hand, pays the most in rent and likes to use it against his two younger friends—he would prefer to call them his brothers. A happy family that the three of them decided to build together when they had started college. 
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Changbin finds himself at the beach at the same time a few days later, cigarette held between his index and his middle finger. He’s come to terms that there’s no way it was a mermaid—he studies them, of course he would know what a mermaid looks like even in the dark. However, tonight, he finds himself sitting on one of the rockier areas of the coast, sitting cross-legged on the almost frozen  stone and looking out at the ocean as he smokes his problems away. 
He’s lucky that the three of them are able to afford a small house nearer to the ocean or else he would’ve been more stressed out. Being near the ocean as a student who studies marine ecosystems means that it’s easier for Changbin to do research without having to travel so far away to get to the water. 
As he looks out, he sees it again. Changbin almost falls off of the rocks and into the water when he sees what looks like a person sticking their head out of the water, eyes watching him intently. He sits upright, leaning closer to get a better look only to watch them dive back into the water. That’s when he sees it. 
A tailfin. 
“No fucking way," Changbin gasps as he crawls closer to the edge of the rocks. The waves move gently, the darkness and the movement obstructing any kind of view he would have into the water. His hand holds himself up as he slowly gets closer and closer towards the water when the head re-emerges, right in front of his face. Changbin loses his balance out of shock, his hand slipping against the rock and his body rolling off of the edge until he's enveloped in cold. 
Freezing cold.
He panics.
Changbin can't breathe. He feels the salt water gushing into his lungs and all he feels is pain. His throat burns, his eyes sting, his lungs hurt. Black spots start to fill his vision while his limbs frantically try to push himself up towards the water's surface, but it's too cold for his limbs to even move properly. He'll drown if he doesn't get out and if it isn't the water that kills him, then the hypothermia definitely will. The more he panics, the more frantic his arms become, but it’s not like Changbin’s actually able to control himself since the only thought in his mind is swim to the surface.
Arms wrap around Changbin's torso when he feels his body starting to give up but it's too dark for him to see as they pull him into a darker area. He's shoved out of the water and onto stone, his lungs painfully coughing out all the water out as he heaves to catch his breath. He looks around the area once he's more composed, only now noticing that he's in what looks like a cave. Changbin's eyes stop at a pair of eyes peeking out from right above the water's surface, staring at him. 
"Y-You…" Changbin trails when he realises how cold it is, his arms moving to wrap around himself in a feeble attempt to keep himself warm. The head further emerges, tilting curiously and watching him. Changbin manages to push out a gasp despite his shivers, her skin is patched with tinges of blue and green, scales crawling up the side of her face. Her pupils were shaped like slits, almost cat-like. "You're… a m-mermaid." Her head tilts curiously as she lowers into the water momentarily. She lifts herself out of the water further to take a closer look at Changbin. “Do you not understand me?” he questions. The mermaid blinks a few times, her pupils dilating when she sees the way Changbin hugs his soaked jacket tighter around himself. She slips underneath the water despite the human’s protests. “F-Fuck,” he curses as he realises how much shit he’s in. Not only does his throat hurt like hell now, but he knows that if he doesn’t get out of the cave or find a way to find warmth, he’ll freeze to death. 
A few moments pass before the mermaid pops back out with a plastic zip lock bag in her hands. She puts it onto the ground and pushes it towards him. Changbin looks between her and the plastic bag before taking it, ripping it open to see a perfectly dry winter coat. He turns back to look at the mermaid who’s returned to hiding half of her face underneath the water and only her eyes watching him. Changbin immediately changes out of his wet clothes and slips himself into the coat, closing his eyes as he lets out a sigh of relief when he feels his body slowly starting to warm up. When his eyes open, Changbin notices the mermaid still watching him, her webbed hands holding onto the edge of the cave to keep herself afloat. 
“I thought mermaids were supposed to speak human languages,” he thinks out loud. Once again, her head tilts curiously. “Since you guys were said to be extinct, then I don’t think it’s a surprise that you don’t understand me.” Changbin hugs himself tighter as he looks around the cave, the mermaid watching him and looking around as well. How is he supposed to get home? The only creature that knows where he is doesn’t even understand what he’s saying! 
“Mermaid,” he calls out, the creature immediately perking up at the sound of his voice. “Wait, do you understand me?” The way she simply stares at him makes Changbin realise that she just reacted because she heard him talk. He stuffs his hand into the wet pocket of his jeans, pulling out his phone. Changbin presses the home button and watches as the screen flickers before turning white and shutting down right after. He sits awkwardly as he thinks about what to do next. He lifts his head, making eye contact with the mermaid—who’s been watching him this whole time—and knows that she’s the only way he can get home. 
“I-I need to get home, mermaid.” Once again, she tilts her head as she tries to process what she’s saying. Changbin bits his lip as he looks around the cave, trying to figure out a way to get her to understand. “Home,” he says as he lifts up three rocks, building a really crappy fort. “I need to get back to where I live.” The mermaid watches his hands, her mind trying it’s best to figure out what he’s showing her. Changbin sighs when she shakes her head. He lifts his hands over his heads to try and signal a roof, “my house.” The mermaid blinks a few times before diving back underwater, leaving the human to dwell with his own thoughts and company while trying to figure out how to at least get back to shore. 
A few minutes pass and Changbin decides that he might as well explore the cave. He doesn’t even know if the mermaid will return anytime soon, so he stands up and looks around. There’s little light that shines into the cave and it’s only because of a few large cracks that scatter the cave walls, but it’s enough to help him barely navigate through the area. Rock formations jut out from the sides and Changbin’s careful to try not to bump into them, his biggest fear being accidentally stabbing himself with a rock formation if he’s careless. He follows the inside of the cave only to realise that he’s trapped. The only way out is to jump into the small body of water right in front of him. Changbin stares at the pool, panic starting to creep throughout him when he realises that this cave is most likely underwater when the tide rises. 
A glow emits from underneath the water’s surface and it makes Changbin’s face contort in confusion as he watches the way it moves around. It gets closer to the surface before the mermaid re-emerges, obviously watching him in confusion since he’s not in the same place as before, but a water sprite is sitting on her shoulder this time.
“The mermaid tells me that you’re stuck,” the sprite claims as he flies off of the mermaid’s shoulder and moves closer to look at Changbin. The dark blue sprite is small—very small. He’s probably only the size of Changbin’s finger, small blue wings holding him up in the air as he hovers around the human’s head. “How did you even end up here?” 
“I-I saw the mermaid, but I thought they were extinct and I fell in,” Changbin admits softly. The sprite turns around to look at the mermaid who watches from the water. He mutters something in a language that Changbin can’t understand and the mermaid responds in the same language. The sprite snaps back at her and she scowls as she lowers herself into the water.
“I can cast a spell on you that would keep you alive while we bring you back to the beach, but you can’t tell anyone about her,” the sprite sighs as he turns to face Changbin. “Mermaids went into hiding for a reason and I don’t want some clumsy human to be the reason that their numbers go down again. I’m Hyunjin by the way.” Hyunjin climbs up his hair and stands right on top of his head, “I’ll give you an air bubble so you’ll stay dry too.”
“Thanks…?” Changbin trails off as he watches a translucent bubble wrap around him, suddenly very aware of how quiet it is inside of the spell. “Woah,” he gasps when he hears his voice bouncing back to him. 
“Yeah, there’s a lot of echo in this bubble and you’ll still feel cold, but it’ll help you get home,” he mumbles. “Walk towards where (Y/n) is.” 
“(Y/n)?”
“The mermaid.” The tiny creature stays on Changbin’s head as he walks towards the pool. “She’s too nice to humans for her own good. I told her a billion times to not interact with them, but she still goes ahead and saves you.” Ouch. Changbin makes a mental note that Hyunjin’s a bit of a dick, but he knows that if he says anything now, the sprite might just leave him in the cave to die. 
Honestly, Changbin doesn’t really blame Hyunjin for not liking humans. His species has unfortunately had a very bad history with the other creatures that live in the same world as them. Where humans had dominated the entire world, forcing every other creature into a form of either submission or alliance, merfolk were only deemed extinct presumably due to the insane water pollution. The other creatures don’t exactly like the humans either. Even without any sort of magic, humans had still managed to force every species to live simultaneously despite destroying everything else. 
“(Y/n) has to push you back to the beach,” Hyunjin speaks up as Changbin slowly climbs into the water. “I’ll dry your clothes and get your phone working once we’re there, but only if you promise not to tell anyone about her.” The human notes how the bubble’s temperature slowly starts to drop. Changbin would probably succumb to the cold of the water if he wasn’t wearing the coat.
“So, the merfolk still exist?” Changbin questions once he’s completely submerged in the water. It’s a strange feeling to be floating so effortlessly despite being able to feel the force of the waves and the water moving around him. Once in the water, he has a slightly better view of the mermaid swimming closer to him. Unfortunately, he’s only barely able to make out the colour of her scales with how dark it is underwater. Her turquoise tail is long, lighter blue scales scattering her body and fading into a more human-like tone as they her torso. Her ‘hair’ is just as it’s described in theory in Changbin’s classes; it’s just an added fin that grows out and only appears like it’s hair. He wonders whether it’s as soft as scientists had described it to be. 
“Yes, they still exist,” Hyunjin nods before muttering something to (Y/n). The mermaid nods, moving closer to rest her hands against the bubble and starts to push it through the water. “Merfolk got so scared for their existence that they decided to ‘go extinct’ to protect themselves. Humans were pushing them beyond their limits as a living, feeling species.” 
“Well yeah, humans are greedy,” he sighs. “What about the other creatures?” 
“Dragons don’t really care since they can eat you guys in seconds. Most pegasi stay in their own dimension unless they’re needed here; that’s why you don’t see them as much anymore. Kobolds stay hidden in ships, werewolves stay in the mountains and vampires build their own mansions away from human civilisations. Most of the creatures that can travel to their own world try to stay away from your world for the sake of their own safety.”
“Have we really pushed you guys that far?” Changbin turns to his shoulder when he feels Hyunjin move off of his head. 
“Unfortunately, yes,” the sprite nods. “Soon, your world will be rid of magical creatures because they’ve run away and we’ll go to becoming nothing but myths for your future generations.” He turns around to mutter something to (Y/n) as they approach the beach. “Start walking. We can’t risk (Y/n) being seen. At least if they see me on your shoulder, they’ll think I’m the only one helping you.” Changbin does as Hyunjin says, starting to walk just as the bubble hits the inclining ground underneath the water and moving towards where the waves hit the beach. He turns around for a moment giving a wave towards the mermaid who returns it with a small smile on her face. 
“Thanks, Hyunjin,” Changbin says as he's back on the beach and the sprite hovers right in front of him. “I won’t tell anyone about this.” 
“You better,” he clicks his tongue in annoyance. “I knew it was a bad idea for her to linger in shallow waters.” Hyunjin does as he promises, using his magic to dry up Changbin’s clothes as well as getting his phone back to working order. “Be more careful next time. You humans are always so reckless when it comes to your life.” 
“I was just curious,” he shrugs in response, watching his phone start up. 
“Too curious for your own good.” Changbin ignores the comment. His eyes widen when he sees the messages spamming his phone from Jisung and Felix. 
“Shit,” he curses softly as he quickly replies to the both of them. 
“Head on home before your friends worry,” Hyunjin says when he hears the spammed sound of the notification. Changbin sticks his phone back into his pocket before looking back at the sprite. 
“Again, thank you. I’ll try not to fall into the water next time.” 
“In the chance that it ever happens again, just call out for me. I’ll be able to hear you,” he gives the human a smile and Changbin thinks that he may not be as cold as he would like to show. “But if you fall too many times, I might consider just leaving you there,” Hyunjin snickers right after. 
“Okay, now you’re just being an ass,” he scoffs with a smile on his face. “I’ll be more careful next time, I promise.”
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Changbin wakes to the sound of his alarm beeping from the other side of his room, something he does to force him to get out of bed. He lets out a whiney groan as he rolls over, willing himself to ignore it until the alarm snoozes. Jisung, however, refuses to allow that. 
The bedroom door swings open to a very disgruntled looking Jisung who marches over to Changbin’s bed and whacks him with a pillow, “It’s a fucking Sunday, turn the damn thing off.” 
“You’re already here—you do it,” he yawns. Jisung’s face twinges with annoyance as he whacks Changbin another time. “God—I. Ah!” Changbin yells, thrashing around his bed before sitting up to see the younger still staring at him. “I’ll turn it off! You can leave!” 
“I also wanted to let you know that Felix’s already up and making breakfast,” he mumbles, standing at the edge of his bed like a Sims character. 
“Give me twenty minutes,” he grumbles and lays back down. 
“If you’re not out by then, I’m eating your portion,” Jisung giggles mischievously as he scrambles out of his room. 
“Fuck you,” Changbin groans as he kicks the cushion by his foot and sends it flying in Jisung’s direction, only for it to hit the door just as he closes it. Changbin rolls over in his bed, too lazy to actually go ahead and turn the alarm off and instead opts for just letting it snooze on it’s own. He stays in bed for a little longer before dragging himself out and to his desk across the room where his phone is. He doesn’t remember setting an alarm for the weekends, so Changbin assumes that he must’ve accidentally turned on one of the weekend alarms without realising it. 
Making sure to turn the alarm off, Changbin sighs as he looks through his notifications to make sure he hasn’t received anything important overnight. Once certain that there’s nothing important, he moves to taking a shower and putting on the black hoodie he wears everyday along with his jeans before stepping out of his room and making his way towards the dining room where Felix and Jisung are. 
“You took twenty-one minutes,” Jisung giggles, “means I get your serving of waffles.” Just as he’s about to reach for the waffle-filled plate, Felix swats at his hand with the silicone spatula. 
“Those are for Changbin hyung, you dick,” he scolds, earning a whine and a pout from the hungry boy. 
“Thanks, Felix,” Changbin hums as he sits down and pulls the plate towards him. “Do you guys have anything important today?” 
“It’s Sunday,” Felix shakes his head, “I’ve finished all my assignments for this week, so I’m probably just going to head back to bed after breakfast.” 
“Same for me,” Jisung hums with a mouthful of food. “I have an assignment due Tuesday, but that’s for something future Sungie has to handle.” 
“I’ll do it for you,” he offers and sits himself down, digging into his own plate of waffles. 
Changbin scoffs at that, “stop doing Jisung’s assignments for him. He should be paying you.” 
“He does pay me,” Felix corrects him, “he gives me five dollars for every two hundred words that I write.”
“I really shouldn’t be condoning this behaviour,” he sighs before turning to Jisung. “Damn it, Ji, cut Felix some slack!” 
“I don’t ask him to do it, he offers and I just pay him afterwards,” Jisung shrugs as he takes another bite of his waffle. “Don’t worry about it, the university won’t know.” 
“You know, that’s not the point, but I doubt that I can stop you…” Changbin trails off. He feels like he should be at least a bit more strict with his friends, but he also knows that Jisung really couldn’t give two shits about his academics. He just happened to luck out when he met Felix; a weed dealer who doesn’t even have to try to write papers worth distinctions. Jisung’s less book smart than he is street smart. He spends his time making friends with not-so-nice people that actually offer more convenience to him than they do company. As much as they have very questionable morals, they’re loyal to Jisung only because he sells them Felix’s edibles at a good price. 
Changbin, on the other hand, is in between the two of them. He doesn’t have a 4.0 GPA like Felix does and even though he’s more extroverted than Jisung is, he prefers not to go around and make friends with dangerous people. Changbin’s just… Changbin. He’s turning twenty-four soon, he’s in his final year of university and he’s spent his entire academic life getting slightly higher than average grades and as extroverted as he is, Changbin prefers sticking to his small group of friends. He’s able to blend into groups and make friends easily, but Felix and Jisung are the only friends that he’s actually willingly kept around for more than two years. 
“Hyung, if you want me to do your assignments, I’ll do them,” Felix offers, “no charge.” 
“Uhh, I’ll pass,” Changbin shakes his head. “I’m pretty sure it’ll be suspicious because my grades would jump from merits to distinctions overnight.” 
“Ah, I can dumb them down for you, I don’t mind.” 
“Felix, you’re not doing my assignments.” 
“Felix writes great essays, though!” Jisung pipes up. 
“Ji, you should really be doing your own assignments, man,” Changbin sighs. 
“I do do my assignments,” he huffs, “I just need the extra help sometimes.” 
“I don’t mind either way—it’s better than watching you guys fail,” Felix shrugs. Changbin can’t stop the smile that makes its way on his face when he sees Jisung trying to steal some of Felix’s food. “No, dude, fuck off,” Felix grumbles as he swats his hand away. 
“I just want a little more,” Jisung gives him a toothy grin as he stabs his fork into the waffle. 
“Jisung! Fuck off! This is mine!” Felix slaps his hand away, but it doesn’t stop Jisung who continues to try and steal his food. Changbin breathes out a laugh as he watches them fight, wondering whether or not he needs to get involved before deciding that it’s too early in the morning for him to do anything. 
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Changbin stands on the shoreline, cigarette between his fingers as he looks out at the ocean. Only this time, he’s looking for the mermaid. Maybe he’s foolish for thinking that she’d return after the whole incident and Hyunjin—most likely scolding her for letting a human see her—having to save him, but Changbin wants to know more about her species. Even if he can’t communicate with her, maybe he’d be able to get a better look at her tail… which is kinda creepy. Changbin’s being creepy. 
He groans when he realises how weird he seems, taking a huff from his cig and letting his chest fill with warmth, but he almost chokes when he sees the familiar figure watching him from the distance, head poking out of the water. It’s the mermaid! 
And Hyunjin
Changbin feels himself shrinking when he sees the water sprite flying towards him, stopping right in front of his face with his hands on his hips. “Back at the beach again?” Hyunjin raises an eyebrow. Changbin’s about to answer when the sprite starts sniffing the air, his gaze moving down to look at the cigarette in his hand. “Oh.” 
“What ‘oh’?” 
“Is that why (Y/n) says you’re here all the time?” he questions as he turns back up. 
“Uhhh, yeah,” Changbin nods. Hyunjin clicks his tongue repeatedly as he shakes his head. 
“That’s unhealthy.”
“Yeah I know,” he rolls his eyes. 
“It’s not good for the environment either,” Hyunjin adds as he moves to sit on his shoulder. “People just leave them lying around everywhere and sprites are usually the ones who clean them up because it’s gross.” 
“I actually throw them away properly, so the littering isn’t something you have to worry about,” Changbin mutters as he takes a drag. “I’ve been trying to stop for a while, cut me some slack.” 
Hyunjin gives him a look but decides against pressing him further about it and instead changes the subject, “(Y/n) wouldn’t stop bugging me about coming back to the beach. She said she wants to talk to you.” 
“What?” His head turns to look at the sprite who shrugs. 
“She’s never interacted with a human before—she’s curious.” Hyunjin keeps his eyes on (Y/n)’s figure in the distance. “You remember the rocky part of the coast you were on before you fell off? (Y/n) wants you to move there so that she can get closer to you.” Changbin’s surprised. He would’ve expected her to at least be scared instead of curious, but he obliges and makes his way towards the rocks, climbing onto the cold, damp stone and carefully making his way towards the edge. He sits right on the edge just as (Y/n)’s head pops out of the water. “Say hello.” 
“Uhm, hi,” Changbin waves at her. She smiles as she returns the wave, webbed hand raising out of the water shyly. 
“I’m gonna start saying this from her point-of-view,” the sprite tells Changbin as he turns to him before turning to (Y/n) and saying something to her. She nods immediately, speaking in her language. 
“I was so worried when you fell into the water. I heard that humans can’t handle this kind of cold like the other creatures can.” 
“Ah,” Changbin laughs awkwardly. “I was just trying to get a closer look at you since I thought that merfolk were extinct.” (Y/n) looks at Hyunjin as he speaks and she smiles, making the human feel less sheepish. 
“Then I’ll assume that I’m the first mermaid you’ve ever seen.” 
“That’s right,” he nods. “I’ve always been interested in merfolk and the ocean in general.” 
“Ahh, then maybe one day I can take you into the ocean when it’s not so cold and I can properly show you my tail!” Changbin blushes at that. (Y/n)’s smiling brightly at him with her hands clasped together. 
“I think she’s as interested in humans as you are with merfolk,” Hyunjin chuckles when he sees how excited she looks. “You should tell her about what it’s like to walk around with legs. She thinks that’s fascinating.” 
“Legs?” he turns to Hyunjin in confusion. How would Changbin be able to explain what legs are like? He’s never had to think about how his muscles function before. “I don’t know how else to explain that and I wouldn’t think that (Y/n) would be able to explain how swimming with a tail would feel like either.” 
“Wait…” the sprite trails off before realising how awkward that would be. “Yeah, never mind.”
“What’s that thing you put in your mouth every night?” Changbin turns away from Hyunjin to look at (Y/n) who’s looking at him with bright eyes holding wonder. 
“Oh, uhh, it’s a cigarette,” his hand moves to rub the back of his neck awkwardly. “I-I doubt that merfolk could actually really understand what it is, but it makes my stress lighter.”
“How can that tiny stick do that?” 
Changbin pauses before he lets out a deep sigh and shrugs, “it’s…”
“Magic,” Hyunjin blurts out. “I’ll just tell her it’s magic. She won’t understand what drugs are.”
“Do merfolk not have some form of drugs?” Changbin asks. 
“They do,” he nods, “but they think it’s magic. Don’t tell them that pufferfish are venomous—they’re going to tell you they’re magical and just make them high,” Hyunjin snickers. 
“I didn’t realise humans have magical abilities.” 
“Humans have… some,” he hums. 
“Keep in mind that you can use the ‘magic’ card any time you don’t know how to explain something to her,” Hyunjin whispers in his ear as though (Y/n) can understand him. 
“Well, some of it is magic and some of it we just find convenience from what the Earth offers us,” Changbin continues. (Y/n) lets out a hum, her figure lowering into the water to keep the gills on her neck under the waves before she comes back up slightly. 
“Hyunjin keeps telling me that humans are dangerous, but I don’t think you’re that dangerous.” The human turns to the sprite who looks at (Y/n) with narrowed eyes as he translates her words. 
“Well,” Changbin adjusts himself into a more comfortable position, his legs crossing underneath him, “it’s like humans saying sharks are dangerous. It’s a cautionary thing rather than a general thing. Humans just don’t care much for the Earth.” 
“Is that why there’s so much of your plastic in the ocean?” Changbin nods, a heavy sigh leaving past his lips. “Those bags have killed more of the creatures in my ocean than any human actually has.” 
“We know,” his lips purse into a straight line. “The only people that seem to care aren’t in actual positions of power to change that, so…” 
“That’s stupid,” (Y/n) huffs as she crosses her arms across her chest. Changbin’s eyes widen and he moves back in shock when he realises that he understood her. 
“I got tired of translating, so you guys get put under a spell that lets you both understand each other,” Hyunjin lets out a sigh as he moves to sit on the rocks beside Changbin, his arms holding him up as he smiles. 
“Y-Yeah, it is,” Changbin chuckles nervously. With Hyunjin resting by his side, Changbin feels more at ease with talking to (Y/n). He doesn’t feel so weird about it since the water sprite was literally translating what he was saying to the mermaid, making Changbin feel a bit more comfortable with the situation.
“Tell me more about humans.”
“What else is there to tell?” he tilts his head questioningly. 
“Could I touch your hand? I’ve never felt human skin before,” (Y/n)’s hand slowly nudges out of the water as she asks him and Changbin honestly feels like her sentence could’ve easily come out of a serial killer. 
“S-Sure,” he glances over at Hyunjin who shrugs in response. The human carefully moves to lay on his stomach as he holds his hand out towards the water where (Y/n) gently reaches out as well. The water isn’t too far away from the rock, making it easier for Changbin to actually allow the mermaid to hold onto his hand.
Immediately when her webbed hands touch his, she gasps, “your hands are so rough!” Her hands gently hold onto his individual fingers, pulling them away from each other and just examining it. Changbin’s lips purse together again as he just lets her do whatever she wants. “Oh, these must be fingernails,” (Y/n) mutters to herself as she lets her own fingers gently graze over his nails. Her hands are pretty much as soft as human’s skin, but Changbin would think that they feel way softer and more like what fish skin feels like without the scales. Even in the dark of night, he’s able to note where (Y/n)’s skin actually has scales and where they’re exposed. 
Only her shoulders are held above the water, her shoulders scattered with dark turquoise scales that crawl up the sides of her neck and face, barely covering the gills of her neck. Changbin also notes how the scales seem to lead down her back more than they do over her front… but he doesn’t want to look down any further because from what he remembers, merfolk don’t have anything covering their chests. 
“It’s so strange how your fingers don’t have fins connecting them,” (Y/n) speaks up after a moment. 
“We don’t live in the water, so we don’t need the fins to help us move around,” he explains. “Like our hair—it’s not a fin like yours is. Yours is supposed to help you move around in the water, but our hair is just… well it’s hair.” 
“Could I touch your hair?” she asks gently. Changbin’s cheeks redden as he—awkwardly—tries to lower his head off of the rocks without falling in. (Y/n) moves closer to the edge, one hand reaching up to hold onto the rocks before she takes a deep breath and pulls herself up so that she’s closer to his head. Changbin thanks the Lord that her chest is clothed with what looks like a top made out of marine plants. Her wet fingers gently hold onto his hair and her eyes widen further as she drops herself back into the water. “That feels so strange!” she exclaims. “Merfolk don’t actually have hair. They’re more like the fins on our fingers.” 
“Could I feel it?” Changbin asks. (Y/n) nods excitedly and pulls herself out of the water once again to briefly allow the human to touch her fins. His fingers run across the smooth fin, his lips parting in awe at the way it feels because it’s just as his textbooks say, if not softer. “That’s so cool,” he breathes out once she’s lowered herself back into the water. “Your skin feels smooth like fish skin.” 
“Well, yeah, we are technically fishes,” (Y/n) chuckles. “I would love to take you into the water to show you my tail, but I don’t think you’ll be able to see anything in the dark.” 
“I also can’t breathe underwater,” he reminds her. Her lips form an ‘o’ at the realisation and (Y/n) turns to Hyunjin with a smile on her face. 
“I’m not putting any more spells on Changbin,” the sprite shakes his head. “I’m tired, it’s almost 4 a.m., I’m not doing that.” Wait a minute, 4 a.m.?!
“Oh shit,” Changbin sits up and whips his phone out of pocket only to realise that Hyunjin’s right. “Shit, I have to get home before my friends start to worry.” He looks back to (Y/n) to see how her mood’s visibly dampened, a frown pulling on her lips. “I can’t spend too long away or else they get upset and I don’t want to worry them.” 
“Will you return tomorrow?” she questions.
He nods with a reassuring smile, “I promise I’ll be back here tomorrow at the same time.”
“Alright,” (Y/n)’s eyes light up and Changbin thinks it’s cute. “Goodnight, Changbin.”
“You too, (Y/n).” 
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Changbin wakes the next morning and for the first time in a while, he’s awake before his alarm starts ringing. His eyes look around his bedroom as he wonders why he’s awake so early when he’s pretty sure he slept at 5 a.m after getting back from the beach. He sits up, feeling even weirder when he realises that he feels super refreshed. Changbin looks around his room as he throws his covers off of himself, standing up and making his way towards his desk to pick up his phone. 
7:26 a.m.
His alarm won’t ring until 9 and his classes are only in the afternoon., which makes Changbin wonder why he’s awake so early? Felix and Jisung are definitely still asleep—both of them barely ever have morning classes—and Changbin contemplates what to do since he doesn’t feel like he’ll be able to fall asleep again. 
The beach!
Changbin perks up. He can visit the beach. No one would be there so early in the morning! He doesn’t even bother to shower—he can always shower when he gets back before he heads to campus—so he just throws on one of his really thick jackets, grabs his pack of cigarettes and his phone before quietly stepping out of the house, making sure to leave Felix a text to let him know where he’s heading. 
His body stiffens when he feels the cold wind slap him in the face, regretting not grabbing his beanie before leaving, but Changbin doesn’t feel like heading back into the house because he doesn’t want to waste any time. By the time he reaches the beach, the Sun’s raised just a little bit more and the tide is still low. He climbs to the rocky coast he was at the night before, sitting on the edge and looking out at the ocean, hoping maybe Hyunjin or (Y/n) are lingering around anywhere.
Changbin feels himself perk up when he sees a familiar set of eyes peeking out from just above the water’s surface, (Y/n)’s head immediately lifting out of the water with a big smile on her face when she realises who it is. 
“You’re out here early,” she comments when she swims to the rocks. 
“Kinda surprised myself,” he chuckles. “I’m not awake this early and my alarm will only ring in a few hours.” 
“You left the beach only two hours ago,” (Y/n) claims. 
Changbin nods at that, “which makes this a bit more confusing on my end.” 
“It’s because I casted a spell on you,” Hyunjin’s voice speaks up as he emerges from the water. “I had a feeling you would have trouble sleeping, so I casted a sleep spell on your mind to get you refreshed in a few hours time.” 
“Oh,” he watches as the sprite moves to stand on his knee, “thank you, Hyunjin. I haven’t gotten proper sleep in so long.” 
“Don’t mention it,” he smiles as he takes a seat on Changbin’s knee. Hyunjin’s change in personality towards the human makes him wonder whether the sprite’s already starting to warm up to him.
“Changbin.” (Y/n)’s voice makes him turn back to look at the mermaid. “What do you do during the day?” 
“I’m a student, so I’m usually at college until the evening,” he hums, “after I get home, I just spend the rest of the day with my housemates until it’s past midnight and I come to the beach to clear my mind.” She lets out an ‘ooh’ while Changbin talks, intently listening to everything he has to tell. “I live with two of my friends. They’re also college students, so we like to get things done together.”
“Are they nice?” 
“They’re amazing,” he chuckles. “I love them. Jisung made a Spotify playlist for the three of us once and it’s all we listen to now. He’s a nice guy, but sometimes he gets a bit crazy and thrashes the house until Felix has the urge to lock him outside of the house. Felix likes to cook, so he makes us breakfast and dinner. He’s a good cook.”
“Your friends sound like good company,” Hyunjin muses. 
“Very much so,” Changbin nods feverishly. “They’re really important to me. Whenever I’m at the beach for too long at night, Jisung’s usually the one to text me and ask me to come home. If I don’t respond to him, then Felix will call me instead.” 
“So that night when you fell into the water, it was your friends that you mentioned?” (Y/n) asks. 
“Yeah, they scolded me when I got home because I just said that I lost track of time.” Changbin leans back on his arms, getting himself more comfortable. “I feel bad because I worry them a lot. They don’t usually say anything about it, but I can tell that they’d really wish I would be a bit more aware of what’s happening around me.” 
“Why so?” 
“The cigarettes are one thing,” he pulls the pack out of the pocket of his jacket and shows it to (Y/n), “Jisung wishes I would stop because he doesn’t want anything bad happening to me in the future. Felix hints at it sometimes, but he can’t say much about it because he smokes weed every once in a while.” 
“Weed?” (Y/n)’s head tilts curiously. 
“It gives the same effect as pufferfish magic,” Hyunjin explains and her lips part in understanding. 
“Yeah, but cigs are unhealthy,” Changbin continues. “I’ve tried stopping before, but every time I try, I end up crawling back to them.”
(Y/n) stays quiet for a moment before hey eyes flick to Hyunjin. “Hyunjin, could you cast a spell on me so that I can breathe above water?” The sprite whips his head towards her and his eyebrows furrow. 
“Why?” his eyes narrow. 
“Just do it.” Hyunjin hesitates before sighing, climbing off of Changbin’s lap to jump onto (Y/n)’s head. Changbin watches as he holds his hands out, palms facing outwards before a bright light flashes from his hands. 
“That should do the trick,” he mutters as he jumps off of her head to return to his previous spot on Changbin’s knee. (Y/n) blinks a few times before diving into the water only to jump out and grab onto the rocks, moving to sit beside Changbin where her tail hangs into the water. The human stares at her with wide eyes, only now aware of just how vibrant the colours of her scales are in the light of the day. 
To Changbin’s shock, (Y/n) grabs onto his pack of cigs out of his hands and pulls the top open, pulling one of them out. She looks at it for a moment before throwing it into the ocean along with the rest of the pack. 
“(Y/n)!” Hyunjin gasps. Changbin’s eyes almost bulge out of his skull as he watches the pack fly out until it splashes into the water. “What are you doing?! You’re littering!” The sprite squeals as he flies out to chase after the pack of cigarettes that’s now unusable. 
“I know,” she shrugs as she turns back to the human, “but if it helps you with stopping something that’s unhealthy, then so be it.” His jaw drops when he sees the way (Y/n)’s shoulders slump, her body relaxing as she looks out at the horizon. She turns to him and tilts her head questioningly. 
“Oh,” he snaps out of his trance, “it’s nothing. I just—you do realise I can buy another pack, right?” 
“If you buy another pack, I’ll throw that one out too,” she simply says. 
“You’re adding to the pollution, (Y/n),” Hyunjin huffs when he returns. “The sprites are going to be really mad at you if I’m not able to get rid of them before they find it.”
“Then just always stay at my side,” (Y/n) grins as she pets his head with her finger. Hyunjin whines as he shoves her hand away from him. Changbin watches at the way she interacts with him, his heart filling with a sense of joy at the way she continuously teases Hyunjin and how he seems like the more stable friend in their dynamic; it reminds him of his friends. “Changbin?” Her voice snaps him out of his thoughts. 
“Hm? Yeah?” he shakes his head for a moment. 
“You alright?”
“Y-Yeah,” Changbin nods, “I was just… thinking.” (Y/n) smiles. 
“What kind of thoughts move around in your human brain?” He puffs his cheeks with air as he turns away to look at the ocean, humming in thought as he wonders what else he should share with her. 
“I feel like I’ve spoken a lot about myself since we’ve met,” Changbin says after a moment and turns to look at (Y/n), “tell me more about you.” Her eyes widen in surprise, realising that he has been only talking about the human world. 
“I don’t know what to start with,” she hums as her back subconsciously straightens. 
“What’s it like living underwater? Do mermaids live in something similar to cities?”
(Y/n)’s lips jut out in a small pout as she thinks about it, something that Changbin notes as cute in his mind. “Kind of. Water sprites merfolk pretty much live together, so we use their magic to build structures. Merfolk don’t have the same machines that humans do, all we have is magic and using similar machines would actually hurt the ocean.”
“Do you live with other merfolk?” he questions. 
“I live in my own cave,” she shakes her head, “Hyunjin’s the only one that lives with me because I’ve known him since forever and my parents thought it would be safer if I actually lived with another creature.” Silence falls between them, Hyunjin starting to zone out because he’s starting to feel like a third-wheel. (Y/n) and Changbin sit by each other’s sides, looking out at the ocean and letting the sound of the water moving fill the space instead. “Would you like to come into the ocean one day?” she asks as she turns to look at Changbin. 
He turns to her and nods, “it’s too cold for me to go into the water. The winter cold is harsh to humans.” 
“Spring is in a few weeks. We can wait for then.”
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“What are you doing for Spring break?” Felix asks as he plops himself onto the couch, head dropping onto Changbin’s lap. Jisung emerges from his room not long after, falling directly onto his unfortunate housemate who yells in response. “Ji, what the fuck?!” he groans. 
“Hmm, comfy,” Jisung giggles as he rubs his face onto Felix’s t-shirt. The blond sighs, knowing that he can’t push Jisung off and instead just accepts the fact that he is now a cushion. 
“Spring break?” Changbin questions, completely ignoring the fact that Jisung is crushing Felix. “I think I’m staying here. My parents have work so they’re gonna be flying out a lot. My sister’s still in Norway, so even if I move back home, I’ll be lonely.” 
“We can keep you company,” Jisung hums. “My parents are out of town, so I’ll only be going home in the last week of Spring.” 
“My family thinks it’ll be better if I wait since I’m already planning on heading back to Australia during Summer break,” Felix hums as well. 
“Then I guess it’s back to our trio shenanigans,” Changbin chuckles as he looks up at the TV. He feels slightly The screen’s hooked up to Felix’s Netflix and he put on whatever he was watching last which just so happened to be Bunny Girl Senpai. 
“Is that girl wearing a bunny costume?” Jisung questions as he sits upright to look at the screen properly.
“Yeah,” he nods. “Why? You a furry?” 
Jisung scoffs, “you’re the most likely to be a furry, Lix. You’re girlfriend’s a puppy hybrid.” 
“Doesn’t mean I’m a furry, Sung,” Felix shoots up, “that’s fucking mean and don’t ever say that in front of Ava.”
“Furry.” 
“You’re a dick,” he scoffs as he returns to laying his head on Changbin’s lap. 
“Jisung, you do remember that the guy you have a crush on now is a cat hybrid, right?” Changbin snorts. 
“Yeah!” Felix huffs. “Minho hyung’s a cat hybrid!”
“I don’t have a crush on Minho hyung, I have a crush on KC!” he whines before slapping his hand over his mouth. Felix and Changbin’s heads whip to him with wide eyes. 
“You do have a crush on KC!” he gasps. 
“Looks like we were right all along,” Changbin chuckles. Jisung pauses before letting out a sigh followed by a whine when he realises what he’s done. 
“Be glad that I don’t go share the same classes as you and KC or else I’d tease you all the time,” Felix snickers. Jisung scowls at that as he stands up, muttering curses under his breath as he heads back into his bedroom. 
The two giggle as they watch him. “What about you, Changbin hyung?” Felix turns to look at him. “Do you have anyone that has your eye?” 
“We’re not tweens, Lix,” he snorts. 
“Doesn’t mean that we can’t talk about relationships,” he claims. 
Changbin sighs, “no, I do not have anyone on my mind.” (Y/n). His brain momentarily halts when he remembers the mermaid. “No one on campus has really caught my attention,” he hums. Felix side-eyes him as he turns to look at the TV, the feeling that Changbin’s lying lingering in his gut. He’s known his housemate long enough to tell when he’s lying and Felix can already see it from the way he blinks exactly three times after speaking. Talk about being observant. 
“If you get a partner, you’d tell us, right?” 
“Of course,” Changbin nods as he pats Felix’s head. Hyunjin watches from the ceiling, cloaked with an invisibility spell as he watches the way Changbin interacts with his friends. He knows he shouldn’t be there, it’s definitely already breached the line of being protective over his best friend and now it’s pretty much just stalking, but Hyunjin’s paranoia got the best of him. 
“Ji, if you don’t come back out, then I won’t share my popcorn with you!” Felix yells, shortly hearing the sound of Jisung’s bedroom door opening followed by his footsteps scrambling into the living room.
“Ah, don’t do that to Jisung,” Changbin laughs, “share your popcorn with him, Lix.” 
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“This is a piece of dead coral that I picked up on the way here.” (Y/n) places the greyed invertebrate into Changbin’s hands. The human looks at it in awe, amazed at the structure of it. Ever since (Y/n)’s started becoming more confident with talking to the human, Hyunjin’s been using his magic to help Changbin safely reach a cave that’s more secluded to keep any other human eyes away from the mermaid. 
“This could help a lot with a research paper I’m writing about coral reefs,” the human hums as he examines it. 
“I don’t think there’s anything else I could show you outside of the water,” she confesses softly by his side. Hyunjin’s magic also helped with letting (Y/n) breathe out of water, meaning that she’s able to actually sit on the rocks with Changbin now. Hyunjin had casted the same spell he did many times before to allow them to understand each other before disappearing because he always feels like a third-wheel around the two. The water sprite can already see that they both fancy each other, but he prefers not to say anything. 
“If it hurts to bring it out,” Changbin turns to look at her and smiles, “please don’t. I don’t want anything dying because you wanted to show it to me.” 
(Y/n) stares at him for a moment before nodding, a small smile pulling at her lips. “Maybe when it’s warmer, I could bring you into the water and show you what lies on the ocean floor. From what my parents have told me, there’s a lot of things that humans still haven’t discovered.”
“I think we’ve only actually managed to uncover about a small chunk of it—most of that with the help of water sprites and merfolk,” he nods, slipping the coral into the pocket of his coat. “But I don’t think we’ve been able to actually discover much when your species started hiding away from us.” 
“I fear that if humans re-discover our existence would only bring more harm to my people,” (Y/n) sighs. “I want to interact with your people more, but they scare me.” 
“I personally think it’s better if you stay away from us,” Changbin chuckles. “They won’t treat your kind nicely. It’s as Hyunjin says; magical creatures are running away from humans because they fear for their own safety.” The mermaid stays quiet, realising that she’s put herself at a very vulnerable situation by interacting with the human regularly. Had she been more careless, she could’ve been caught by someone who had malicious intent. “My friends still don’t know you exist, by the way,” he turns to look at her, “they think I just come to the beach to smoke.” 
“But you’ve stopped, haven’t you?” (Y/n)’s head tilts slightly. 
Changbin lets out an awkward laugh, “yeaaah, they don’t know that either.” 
“What would they do if they found out about me?” He pauses at her question. He knows that Felix and Jisung wouldn’t do anything to (Y/n) intentionally, but he also knows that they might want to see her, which would end up scaring her instead. 
“I’m worried that they might scare you,” he confesses with a chuckle. “Felix and Jisung are very… excited people. I feel like they might say something that could scare you.” 
“Are they anything like you?” she further asks. 
“Hmm,” Changbin hums, thinking about it for a moment, “they’re louder than I am—which is funny because Jisung’s an introvert—but they’re nice people. I’m just worried they might make you uncomfortable.” (Y/n) hums at that as she turns away from him to look out of the cave. 
“Would I ever be able to meet them? They sound important to you,” she says softly. 
“Maybe one day,” he shrugs, turning to follow her gaze. Their meetings are still mostly at night, meaning that Changbin gets more views of the ocean in the night than he does in the day. He thinks the ocean is gorgeous every night, but tonight is particularly serene to him. The waves are calmer than they usually are and the full moon is glowing brightly in the sky, sending a beautiful reflection off of the water. When he turns back to (Y/n), she’s staring at him, her pupils dilated, meaning she’s calm; something that Changbin’s managed to learn over the time that he's known her. Her pupils change like a cat’s does, showing her mood. He feels his stomach flutter at her gaze. 
“Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to live as a human,” (Y/n) starts, “but I also know that it would be foolish of me to give up my home in the ocean to live as a species that even has sirens wary of.” Ah right. Changbin realises that if merfolk still exist, then it’s likely that sirens still do as well since they were declared extinct not long after merfolk were. “Even though I know that, I still wonder how different it must be on land.”
“Humans are dangerous creatures, (Y/n),” Changbin mutters. “A lot of us wouldn’t hesitate to put our greed first. They would hurt you.”
She lets out a bitter laugh at that, “I know, but as Hyunjin says, my curiosity tends to get the best of me.” He turns to look at her to see the way she’s staring down at her hands. “I understand why we hide. I understand why the merfolk around me are so wary of the fact that I linger in shallow water, but I just wanted to see what humans are like. The only one I’ve ever encountered is you.” (Y/n) looks away from her hands and turns to Changbin, “but you’re not anything like I’ve heard humans are.” Changbin can feel his entire face getting hot and his ears heating up as well, the butterflies in his stomach once again erupting like they did before. “I think I’m lucky that you’re the person I encountered rather than someone else. Hyunjin says that too.” 
“Really? I feel like Hyunjin doesn’t like me, though.”
“Ah, he’s just like that,” she laughs. “Hyunjin acts all cold on the outside, but he’s really just a softy on the inside. He really likes you, but he’ll kill me if he ever finds out that I’m saying this to you. The only reason why he acts so cautious around you is because he’s worried that he may have read you wrong.” 
“He really cares about you, huh?” Changbin hums. 
(Y/n) nods, “sometimes I like to do dumb things because his reactions are always really funny.” She looks down at her hands once again before sliding herself into the water. “My skin is starting to dry out, I’m sorry,” she mutters before dipping her entire head underneath and popping back out. 
“Does anything happen if your skin dries out?” 
“It starts to hurt after a while,” she shakes her head, “but if I didn’t have Hyunjin’s spell on me, then I’d suffocate on land faster.” (Y/n) rests her arms on the edge of the cave entrance, keeping herself afloat as her chin moves to rest on the back of her hands. She watches Changbin whose eyes are glued to the night sky. She wonders why she feels so much adoration towards him. He turns away from the sky to look at (Y/n), this time holding her gaze as he tilts his head. 
“Something on your mind?” he questions. She stares at him a moment longer before climbing out of the water and returning to her spot beside him. 
“Nothing much,” (Y/n) hums. She stretches her back, letting out a small yawn before resting her head on Changbin’s shoulder, the human tensing when he feels her. “I’m just thinking about some things.” He prefers not to question her sudden skinship because honestly? Changbin doesn’t want her to move. He kinda likes it. He ignores the fact that her wet skin is making his shoulder wet instead, letting his hand move behind her. 
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When (Y/n) wakes up, Hyunjin’s floating right in front of her face. “You’re finally up,” the sprite comments as he moves away. 
“Huh?” The mermaid sits up and looks around in her bedroom. When did she get home? “What happened?”
“Changbin said you fell asleep while you were talking in the cave, so he called me and I brought you back home.” He floats away from her and towards her door, “you should really be more careful, (Y/n). Changbin won’t be the one who will hurt you—that I‘m sure of—but I fear that another human may find you and be the one who hurts you.” (Y/n) silently watches as he leaves, a sudden sense of fear running through her. Changbin definitely wouldn’t hurt her, but the chances of someone else finding her while she’s waiting for him just might be the reason she would get caught. 
(Y/n) sighs softly as she climbs off of the bed of algae, her tail pushing her towards the door where she pauses for a moment. How dangerous would it be if she were to grow feelings for Changbin? Her hand grips onto the doorknob as she thinks about it. What would happen if someone else found out that Changbin’s been hiding her from the world? Would he end up being reprimanded? (Y/n) sighs before opening her door, pushing the thought out of her head and heading into the living room where Hyunjin is hovering around, flying from wall to wall as he cleans up. 
The sprite turns around at the sound of her door, “Changbin asked if it was possible for him to bring his friends to the beach.”
“Oh.” Hyunjin stares at her for a moment longer before sighing, placing the gemstones in his hands onto the shelf before moving towards her. 
“Are you sure you want to meet more humans?” he asks. Hyunjin feels like he trusts Changbin enough to bring only good people to meet (Y/n), but he still worries about how she feels. “You tend to rush into things, I just wanna make sure.” 
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that,” she confesses. “Is it bad that I do? I know it’s dangerous, but I want to know more about Changbin.” Hyunjin eyes her for a moment before letting out another sigh. 
“You’re known him for barely three months and you already like him,” he mutters. (Y/n) face flushes pink as she looks at him. His arms cross over his chest, “if you really want to, then I’ll allow it, but the moment something seems off then I’m hiding you immediately.” She perks up, head nodding excitedly. “Maybe it would be good if people he trusted knew who he was meeting. That way there would be reassurance coming from above water as well,” Hyunjin thinks out loud as he turns around. “I’m also worried that they may scare you off.” 
“Changbin mentioned that too,” she claims. 
“If you’re absolutely sure, then I’ll fly out to Changbin’s place now and let him know,” he says. 
(Y/n)’s face contorts in confusion, “why do you know where he lives?” 
“Uhh,” Hyunjin freezes because now he has to tell her that he’s followed Changbin home before. “Well…” 
“Hyunjin…” her eyes narrow. 
“I may or may not have followed him home once because I wanted to see whether or not we could trust him,” he admits with an awkward chuckle. 
“Hyunjin,” (Y/n) groans. 
“He didn’t know I was there!” Hyunjin defends. “None of his housemates knew I was there! I just wanted to see what he was actually like.” 
“And what did you learn from that?” Her arms cross over her chest as she awaits his answer. 
“He’s… a good guy.” (Y/n)’s arms loosen and her face softens. “His friends seem like good people. I like Jisung particularly; he’s funny. I think you would appreciate Felix’s parent-like behaviour with Changbin. I don’t think I could find anything nasty on him that could hint to him probably wanting to expose your existence to the humans. He’s good. If you have feelings for him, then I’ll do my best to help hide the both of you to give you time together.” Her arms fall to her side at her lips part. “I’m only doing this because I trust him.” Hyunjin moves until he’s directly in front of (Y/n)’s face, “but you have to promise me that you’ll still be careful.” 
“Of course,�� she breathes out with a nod. She raises her hand, allowing the sprite to hold onto her finger. Hyunjin’s always been really tiny due to just his species being generally small, but (Y/n)’s always found it adorable. They’ve known each other since (Y/n) was born. Hyunjin’s lifespan as a water sprite is long, but he was only born a few years before the mermaid was. Since their parents were friends, (Y/n) and Hyunjin spent pretty much their entire childhood together and they’ve gone past the need to tell each other that they see each other as family. 
“I’ll head on over to Changbin’s place, then,” Hyunjin smiles as he lets go of her finger. 
“You might freak him out if he realises the fact that you know where he lives,” (Y/n) snorts. 
“Ah, he’s a smart guy. He’ll put the pieces together,” he chuckles, shaking his head before bidding the mermaid goodbye and leaving her home. (Y/n)’s cave wasn’t too far from other merfolk, but it was far enough that it was closer to the surface. There are only two other merfolk that live a few miles away from her cave, but merfolk spend most of their time with creatures they are familiar with and seldom mix around with other merfolk they don’t know. The distance from the shore to the cave is far from humans, making it quite a long course through the water before Hyunjin’s able to reach the familiar beach of Changbin’s town. He pops out of the water, his wings unfurling before carrying him straight to the human’s house. 
Hyunjin doesn’t really bother to knock and instead flies into the open window of Changbin’s bedroom only to find him laying in bed, snores leaving his mouth with his blanket pulled all the way up to his chin. The sprite purses his lips into a straight line as he pulls the window close. It’s no wonder Changbin’s all bundled up; his window must’ve been open the entire night. The sprite hovers right above his face, contemplating waking him up, but he’s not exactly given a choice because the bedroom door swings open without any warning. 
“Hyuuuung!” Jisung whines loudly, causing Changbin to jerk awake in his bed. 
“Don’t you go spreading your false information!” Felix barks as he barges into the room beside his housemate. 
Changbin sits up and stares at them, eyes tired and face contorted in displeasure, “what?!” 
“Hyung, Felix pushed your dry coral off of the coffee table,” he tells him. The eldest’s eyes snap open and he’s scrambling out of his bed and pushing past the two younger males. 
“I didn’t push it off, it was an accident!” Felix groans, watching nervously as Changbin silently moves over to pick up the dried coral sitting on the ground. The impact managed to chip off the top of the oddly shaped rectangle, breaking the corner off while pieces of it scattered the carpet. Hyunjin watches from the ceiling, curious to see how the human would react, but Changbin’s quiet as he picks up the pieces. 
“Don’t worry about it,” he mutters as he stands, the coral pieces sitting in his palm. “I should’ve brought this into my room instead since I wanted to use this for a report.” Changbin turns around and gives his housemates a small smile to reassure them. Felix and Jisung shrink slightly, guilt washing over both of their faces. 
“I’m sorry, hyung, I didn’t mean to. I-I was just cleaning and it—” Felix reaches out to him as he walks back into his room but Changbin stops the younger man from coming in. 
“Lix, it’s fine,” he cuts him off. “It’s just coral. I can always, uhh, get more of it from the beach. It’s okay.” Changbin closes the door, leaving the other two standing outside of the room feeling lost. It’s rare for him to just numbly push it aside, which only makes Felix feel even worse because he has a feeling that someone gave him the coral. In his room, Changbin places the broken coral pieces onto his desk and stares at it. If he told (Y/n) that it’s broken, he wouldn’t want to actually tell her because he doesn’t want to make her feel bad, but Changbin doesn’t want to ask for another one. He scratches the back of his neck and sighs, “fuck.” It’s his mistake for leaving the coral in the living room when he had made a mental note to take care of it, but what could Changbin do now? 
“Is this a bad time?” Hyunjin finally speaks up. Changbin’s head perks up and he whips his head around to see the water sprite standing on his bed. 
“I knew you stalked me,” he gasps in mock surprise. Hyunjin laughs at that as he flies over to the desk to look at the coral. “I didn’t mean to leave it out in the open,” Changbin sighs. 
“You could always ask her for more, I don’t think she minds,” he claims. 
“I don’t want to make her feel bad if I tell her that this one broke,” Changbin mumbles, his fingers poking at the pieces. 
“Changbin,” Hyunjin turns around to look at the human, his hands moving to his hips, “(Y/n) won’t mind. She likes when you ask for ocean stuff.” 
“Does she?” 
He nods and flies up in front of Changbin’s face, “she really likes talking to you about the ocean.” Hyunjin only lowers back onto the desk once Changbin looks more reassured. “Speaking of (Y/n), she wants to meet your friends.” 
“What?” his eyes widened. 
“She said that she wants to meet Felix and Jisung,” Hyunjin continues, “she wants to know more about you and your life because she likes you.” 
"She—huh?" Changbin shakes his head a bit before staring at Hyunjin. 
"Do you want to introduce your friends to your mermaid girlfriend or not?" His arms cross over his chest. 
“(Y/n)’s not my girlfriend,” he’s blushing furiously as he denies it but Hyunjin raises an eyebrow. 
“Mhm, and that night where you let her fall asleep on your shoulder even though her skin was wet and your shoulder was freezing after that says otherwise,” he teases. 
“She’s not my girlfri—” Changbin’s cut off when his bedroom door swings open and Felix and Jisung are staring at him, eyes flicking to look at Hyunjin who’s looking like a deer caught in headlights. 
“I-Is that a sprite?” Jisung asks. Changbin nods. 
“Okay, cool, we were just wondering who you were talking to,” Felix laughs awkwardly as he pulls on Jisung’s collar and pulls him away from the door. 
“No, stay,” Hyunjin beckons them over. The two of humans exchange a look with Changbin before stepping into the room. “How good are you at keeping a secret?”
“Pretty good,” Felix shrugs. 
“Why?” Jisung tilts his head. 
Hyunjin turns to Changbin, “do you trust them enough to meet her?” 
“Well, if (Y/n) wants to meet them, then I can bring them to the beach,” he nods. 
“Who’s (Y/n)?” Jisung asks. 
“Are you a hundred percent sure we can trust them?” The water sprite ignores Jisung’s question, more concerned about just how much Changbin would trust them to meet a mermaid. 
“Felix has kept a secret I told him four years ago and Jisung forgets them a few seconds after—I think they’ll be fine,” he reassures Hyunjin. The sprite turns back to the obviously confused humans before relaxing his shoulders. 
“Bring them with you when you come by later. I think she'd be pretty happy if she could meet your friends.” He moves to the window, flicking his wrist upwards and the window frame lifting on its own before Hyunjin flies out. The three humans stare at the open window, completely ignoring the cold wind that’s blowing into Changbin’s bedroom because Jisung and Felix are too busy trying to figure out what the hell a water sprite was doing in their hyung’s bedroom. 
“So…” Jisung trails off as he shifts his weight from one foot to another. “Care to explain who your friend is?” 
“Which one?” Changbin turns to look at the two. 
“The sprite and whoever (Y/n) is,” he clarifies. 
“I met the water sprite through (Y/n),” he says simply, “I’ll bring you to see (Y/n) later, but you have to promise that you won’t tell anyone about her.” 
“I’m not gonna question why you’re so secretive about your obviously secret girlfriend, but okay,” Felix chuckles. “I knew that you had someone on your mind.” 
“She’s not my girlfriend,” Changbin grumbles, “we’re just friends.”
“Then why did the water sprite say she was your girlfriend?” Jisung teases. 
“Because…” he trails off as he tries to find an excuse. There’s really nothing for him to say that could deny that he may or may not be in an unofficial relationship with the mermaid other than the fact that Changbin and (Y/n) have only known each other for less than three months and may or may not be into each other. “Look, if I bring you to the beach to meet her, she’ll explain it too, okay? Just bare with me until then.” 
“Fine.” 
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“You’re fucking joking,” Jisung breathes in awe. Both him and Felix are staring at the mermaid with eyes that are close to falling out of their skull and jaws all the way to the ground. 
“T-This isn’t possible,” Felix mutters, eyes trained on (Y/n)’s turquoise tail. She sits on the edge of the cave, hiding behind Changbin’s legs as his friends gawk at her. Hyunjin watches from Changbin’s shoulders, arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face at the way the humans are in so much disbelief that Felix smacks his own head to make sure he’s not dreaming. “She’s a mermaid,” he looks up at Changbin. 
“You’re girlfriend’s a mermaid,” Jisung states. 
Changbin blushes and shakes his head, “we’re not dating.” (Y/n) stays behind his legs, hiding her blush by sliding back into the water and only peeking her eyes out of the water. “Now you’ve gone and made her scared!”
“No!” she squeaks, shooting up to tug on his jeans, “they didn’t scare me.” Changbin turns around, eyes softening when he sees the way (Y/n)’s reassures him with her eyes. 
“Oh, we didn’t scare her. She’s blushing,” Jisung teases. Even in the dark of night, he’s still able to see the red tinge on her cheeks which only deepen at his statement. (Y/n) lets go of Changbin’s pants and lowers into the water. 
“Are you okay?” he questions softly. She looks up, nodding silently when her gaze meets his. “Are you sure they’re not scaring you?” (Y/n) shakes her head. Changbin relaxes a bit as he turns back to face his friends, “this is (Y/n). I met her a few months ago because she saved me.” 
“Saved you how?” Felix’s eyes narrow. 
“Your friend over here fell into the water while trying to get a closer look at (Y/n),” Hyunjin giggles as he jumps off of Changbin’s shoulder and floats towards Jisung’s shoulder. “(Y/n) had to drag him towards a cave because she didn’t want him to freeze and drown.” Jisung and Felix feel a click in their heads at the words ‘drown’ and ‘freeze’, both of them slowly turning to look at their friend.
“You almost drowned?!” Jisung exclaims. 
“Why didn’t you mention this?!” Felix yells. 
“Because I would’ve had to explain how my clothes dried and how I even survived,” Changbin shrugs. Felix scoffs, eyes rolling as he tries to process the new information. 
“So, you just casually almost die and decide not to tell us?!” Jisung’s jaw drops. 
“I didn’t want to tell you about (Y/n) because she’s supposed to be extinct!” he throws his arms up into the air. (Y/n) watches from the water, stifling her laughter at how Jisung and Felix continue to fire at Changbin for not telling them of his death, Hyunjin making eye contact with her and chuckling as well. She reaches up and tugs on Changbin’s pants once more, making him turn around immediately at the feeling. “Yeah?” 
“I wanna say hi.” She blinks innocently a few times while Jisung and Felix watch, their arms crossing over their chests and their eyebrows raising. 
“Oh, sure,” Changbin crouches down and holds onto her hand to help her sit on the edge of the stone where she shyly waves towards the two humans. 
“Wow,” Jisung chuckles. “You’re whipped.” Felix snickers from beside him, pursing his lips together to make it less obvious that he’s laughing as well. 
“No I’m not,” he snorts. (Y/n) looks up at him and pulls on his hand, silently asking him to sit down with her, which Changbin immediately obliges without even questioning it. 
“Sure,” Felix laughs. 
“Changbin talks about you guys a lot,” (Y/n) claims.
“I hope you mean in a good light.” 
“Very,” she chuckles, “the only reason I wanted to meet you guys myself is because you sound really important from what Changbin has told me.”
“Important?” Jisung smirks. 
“I meant that you sound like really good friends.” (Y/n)’s words make Changbin loosen up slightly. She’s trying not to embarrass him in front of his friends, so she chooses her words carefully to at least try to lessen the teasing he might receive once they head home. “I think he loves you guys more than he’d admit,” she whispers, giggling when she earns a glare from Changbin. Jisung and Felix turn to him, choosing not to tease him because they’re actually warmed by (Y/n). 
“We love you too, hyung,” Felix smiles, Jisung nodding ecstatically beside him. “I’m going to assume that (Y/n) is the event where a species pretended to go extinct and still haven’t been re-discovered.”
“Precisely,” she nods. 
“What are the chances that a stranger could find her?” Jisung questions. 
“That’s something that I’d rather not find out,” Hyunjin sighs, moving from Jisung’s shoulder to (Y/n) instead. “The only reason why I allowed Changbin to introduce you two to (Y/n) is because I trust him. So, I’m going to take a leap and trust you.” 
“We won’t tell anyone about her,” Felix reassures him. “We’re just here because we wanna see who Changbin hyung’s girlfriend is.”  
“For the last time, (Y/n)’s not my girlfriend,” Changbin groans. “We’re just friends!” (Y/n)’s expression drops and the only person that happens to miss it is Changbin because he’s too busy glaring at his friends. Jisung clears his throat and gestures to the mermaid when his friend gives him a questioning look.  Changbin turns around and panic starts to fill him when he sees the way her mood’s dampened. “W-What’s wrong?” 
“Would it be so bad if we were dating?” she mutters out, a frown pulling on her lips. 
“O-Of course not!” he stammers, his eyes squeezing shut as he tries to explain it to her. “I just don’t want them thinking we’re dating if we’re not, you know? It might make you feel awkward or uncomfortable,” Changbin mutters as he rubs the back of his neck. 
“I don’t think it’s awkward,” (Y/n) admits, her cheeks tinged red. The human’s eyes widen as well, blush creeping over his entire face. 
“I—uhm.” Changbin struggles to actually word anything out while his best friends laugh at him and Hyunjin watches with a shit-eating grin on his face. He scooches closer to (Y/n) and moves his lips right to her ear, “let’s talk about this later, yeah?” She moves away from his face and nods. When (Y/n) turns back to Changbin’s friends, they’ve made themselves comfortable on the rocks, ready to learn more about the mermaid. 
The night is spent with casual talking, the five of them getting to know each other more. Changbin learns more about Hyunjin that single night than he has in the past few months that he’s known the water sprite. Jisung also seems to make it a mission to embarrass Changbin as much as he can in front of (Y/n) to the point where Changbin’s almost holding him by the collar and hanging him over the ocean. Felix on the other hand, watches in amusement. He doesn’t say that much other than piping in every once in a while because he’s genuinely interested in learning more about the magical creatures. 
“I’ll catch up with you guys in a bit,” Changbin tells the two humans when it’s already 3 a.m.. 
“We’ll be waiting at the beach,” Jisung nods, waving at Hyunjin and (Y/n) before he walks off with Felix. Hyunjin looks at Changbin before turning to (Y/n)—who’s moved into the water because her skin was drying out—and realising that they want time alone. 
“I’ll give you guys some space,” he mutters before diving into the water, leaving the two alone. Once alone, (Y/n) pulls herself up to sit on the rocks, tail dangling in the water as she looks out at the horizon with Changbin sitting cross-legged beside her. 
“What do you think of my friends?” he questions. 
(Y/n) hums, a smile tugging on her lips as she turns away from the ocean to Changbin, “I like them. They seem like a lot of fun.” 
“They really are,“ he chuckles. Silence falls between them and whatever elephant was already in the room seems to have doubled in size because now, the two of them are painfully aware of their relationship. “(Y/n),” Changbin breaks the silence, turning to face her. 
“Yeah?” She's already looking at him and it makes Changbin’s face heat up. The moonlight reflects off of her face, the blue and green scales of her face reflecting the light like diamonds that cover her skin. (Y/n)’s gorgeous. Changbin isn’t sure whether her beauty is amplified because of the sudden serenity of the night or whether he’s just never actually taken the time to admire her, but she’s entrancing. His eyes flick to her lips, soft and glossy before they flicker back up to her eyes where she’s watching every feature on his face to try and predict his next move. 
“C-Could I kiss you?” The words come out before Changbin’s able to stop himself and he mentally slaps himself because that is not at all what he wanted to say. (Y/n) nods anyway, letting him move closer until his warm lips gently press against her cold ones. The kiss is slow and gentle, both of them testing the waters before pulling away. When Changbin’s eyes open to meet (Y/n)’s his stomach erupts with butterflies. How lucky was he to encounter a mermaid when they had hidden away from humans, faking their extinction to keep themselves safe. He realises then that (Y/n)’s, “one in a million,” he subconsciously says out loud. As rushed as it sounds, Changbin's pretty sure he’s managed to fall in love with her in the short amount of time they’ve known each other. 
“Huh?” (Y/n)’s eyes flash with confusion. 
“You’re one in a million,” Changbin says, his hand moving up to gently cup the side of her face before he leans in once again.
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