#milan.22feelingblue

[lgcmilan]

EVENT: BIRTHDAY LIVESTREAM POST TYPE: SOLO

the last schedule of the day for milan is her very own birthday livestream. her first solo livestream at that. working from dawn until dusk on her birthday would've usually annoyed her, but this year, she's thankful for work giving her an excuse to avoid celebrating with her friends. even after more than 2/3rd of the day, she still doesn't feel it.

as shinhye had promised, the staff didn't disappoint with the decoaration; the room is filmed with ballons and decorations all peach, pink and white colored, with glitters here and there and fairies stickers and balloons. but milan has prepared as much herself and she spends the minutes before the beginning of the stream laying her material on the table, including sena's gift from the same morning.

when shinhye signals the beginning of the stream, she's still adjusting her set up to her liking, while greeting people. the number of people joining keep growing for the first several minutes, and while she's surprised to see it bubble up so much, she remains relaxed. this part of the job is the easiest to the young woman.

after several more minutes of waiting for people to join in and the number of viewers has stabilized, she finally goes for her last but official greetings. "hi everybody! thank you so much for joining my birthday stream!" she begins and takes a quick pause to read some of the comments coming. "we have two hours together today! can you guess what we're going to do~?" she asks in on a playful and childish tone. one again, she waits for comments to come in, considering her set up, most are on the nose, though some are quite funny and she reads them out loud. "that's right! we're gonna do nail art! i felt like if it was just me talking to the camera, i would run out of topics to talk too quickly." she explains. the following comments make her chuckle and she reads one out loud "'run out of topics? milan unnie, you seem more like the type who talks in her sleep kekeke'" she can't help but laugh once again, clapping her hand at the same time. "actually, when i'm really tired, i really talk in my sleep and even have conversations with peole if i'm talked to! you should ask minseo. we've been dorming together since we were trainees." the chat seems to explode after this comment, some english comments calling her 'queen yapper'. she might not be very well versed in english, she's online enough to understand most terms related to stan cultuer. "no, i'm not queen yapper!" she says in english. "there are too many yappers in nova!" well, she tried. after reading and answering several more funny comments, milan gets to explaining that she will be doing design inspired by the colors behind her, on a set of fake nails and encourages those who can to join in on the crafting. "unfortunately, since we are promoting, i can't put them on just yet, but i'll do as soon as possible and post a picture on sns!" she promises.

something interesting that she's noticed is that while each fandom have their own colors, even fans of each member appear to have their own little flavor. for instance, milan would say that her fans are quite the free spirit type who like to joke around, talk about various things, some nonsensical, yet nothing eever too deep. they seem to know better than to ask her existential questions, or love advice (actually, any type of advice). and this is how she likes it and how she can keep the flow of conversation going without awkward pauses.

"'tell us dorm stories!' "yes! we want to know how's nova's dorm!'" she reads off several comments mentioning the dorm life. she gazes back at the nail in front of her, needing to concentrate while she places a little gem on it. she hums thoughtfully while doing so, wondering what to say. "there really isn't much to day, really." she admits, once done with her work. "everybody in nova are nice kids, so it's quite uneventful. since the year has been quite busy, most of the time, we just come home and sleep right away" she laughs softly. no washing off makeup, no shower, nothing. just sleep. she has done that more than once, especially during the end year period. "though, i do have a theory about our dorms. should i share it?" she gives a playful glance at shinhye behind the phone. "manager unnie is starting to sweat!" the idol says, teasing the older woman. "actually, minseo, nabi and i share a room, and nayoung unnie, mitzi and sena share the other room. doesn't it feel like they put the reliable kids in one room and the troublesome ones in the other?" she asks, amusement in her voice. "why is everybody laughing? i didn't even say which room is which!" she continues, faking being offended. shinhye has to cover her mouth at that and the comments that come. she even points out a comment that milan reads out loud; "'sharing a room with milan, minseo and nabi would probably be like having a sleepover with your best friends, where you end up chatting until the morning. everyday. aaaaah, seriously, i'd move in the other room after 2 days kekeke'". milan bursts out laughing. "why are you all agreeing? there's only one 'i' in the other room! it might be the true chaos room!" she argues back before letting the fans have their fun, responding here and there to some comments.

"though, i always feel remorseful towards mitzi since she's the only introvert in our group." it's still a little strange to refer to the other girl as mitzi and even stranger not using 'unnie' after her name. curse the calendar system change! "she doesn't complain but i hope we aren't a drain on her energy." she explains. ""if you don't know what to do, go on pann and ask 'how to take care of an introverted friend?''" milan reads the comment to lighten the mood, though her feelings are sincere. "'tell us more about the member!'" milan reads out loud the comment and once again concentrate on what she's currently doing the nail while she's thinking. "i guess i can... well first, i mentioned earlier that these" she points to a set of items "are my birthday gift from our baby boss, skye. even if she's part of the maknae line, as espected, she knows out tastes perfectly!" the young woman has been diligently using some of the gift since the beginning of the stream. that's already two members down. "oh! right!" milan suddenly exclaims, remembering something. she grabs her phone, making sure to clear all the notifications and hide the top part before she shows her screenlock to the camera, which turns out to be a picture of nabi. "lately, I'm totally into our nabi. she's si adorable. my camera roll is filled wi--" a comment catch her attention, which makes her pause. "no!! I haven't dropped nayoung unnie!" she denies vehemently. "it's not the same! Unnie is still my ideal but it's like..." she pauses again, finding the proper words to explain herself. "it's like, I want to be pampered by unnie, but I want to pamper nabi. I want unnie to pat my head and tell me I did a good job. meanwhile I want to squish nabi's cheeks and tell her she's doing a good job!" she finally says as explanation. of course, her fans don't miss the chance to tease her, much to her amusement. "a message for unnie?" she asks and hums thoughtfully before leaning closer to the camera, cupping her hands to her mouth as if sharing a secret. "unnie," she whispers "how are you so perfectly cute and cool? stop making me fall for your charms!" she then chuckles, letting the chat explode as she finishes up one more nail. more than halfway done. "that leaves only minseo" milan remarks without saying anything right away. as the silence prolongs, her expression gets more serious. "well... without minseo there would be no me, to put it simply." the idol finally declares. "because we are so alike, I've always wanted to be a good older sister to her and try to help her avoid the mistakes and pains ive been through. but I lack so much that I end up relying more on her than I wanted. rather than a younger sister, now I see her as a twin that was born in second." she can't help but laugh softly. "I'm too grateful for her, seriously."

the stream continues, with more questions being asked and milan even performing a snippet of eleven (though only after admitting that she has trauma of that song). it continues more naturally than milan would've expected though without comments and requests to latch onto, she knows she wouldn't have managed. when shinhye notifies her that only 2 minutes are left, it's reluctantly that milan announces the end, pouty demeanor taking over. "how should I end this?" she asks, quickly scanning for a satisfying suggestion. "oh! my solo. I can do that!"

A little mean newbie You can't resist Somehow a young silhouette It makes your heart flutter at once Mischievous eyes To be honest, well, got no shame I keep pushing and pulling Just like play love games

[lgcmilan]

the week has been packed with schedules, and today isn't any different. in fact, although it's late in the evening by now, she just finished her last schedule of the day; her solo birthday livestream. only thing left to do is pack up her nail art accessories and clean a bit before she's ready to go.

when she hears the knock at the door, she opens it expecting to see shinhye, her manager, on the other side, but instead is greated by... a t-shirt. she adjusts her line of sight, raising her gaze to see the face of the much taller trainee instead. the surprised look on her face quickly makes way for a gentle smile. "oh! jasper!" she says exclaims. to be honest, he looks a little... tired, to put it nicely. milan tilts her head slightly at that, however, he's clearly not here for that. he eyes instead glance down to what he's holding and she takes a step back, to let him in the room she's been given for her stream. "is that..." she glances back up at his face, not wanting to assume that this is for her or her birthday. wouldn't she look completely stupid if this is for someone else? she's done making herself a clown in front of this boy! (or any other boy for that matter).

surprise surprise w/ @lgcmilan

he was pretty sure he was running off of two hours of sleep, an americano, and a bloody prayer, but really he was trying to take in stride. the only unfortunate thing, really, was that he couldn't really indulge his friends like he used to be able to. he was always in something-- whether that was language class, training for new kids, or the workshop it seemed like his time was never enough.

still, he wanted to meet milan for something, at least quickly.

he offers the chocolate and present with a clearing of his throat, hoping he didn't look too undone, knocking on the door.

[lgcmilan]

@rowonlgc :

on this day, a random trainee runs up to milan and presents her with an ivory envelope. “happy birthday, unnie!” the trainee says brightly before hurrying away. inside is neat notecard that reads, let’s go on a treasure hunt – rw. there’s an address and another line, go here whenever you have two hours. tell them i sent you.

the address leads to a luxury nail salon in the heart of seoul. upon arrival, she’d be swept away to a private station in the far back corner where she would be offered mocktails. the nail technician would then tell her that everything today has already been paid for, and that they specialize in whimsical styles. “he said to give you this pink butterfly design, but i told him to let the girl choose.” if milan expresses any interest in nail art, the technician would happily give her tips and tricks. once done, they’d send her away with a notecard that looks identical to the first, except this one writes, need someone to practice on? i can be bribed. there’s another address, go here on a sunny afternoon.

whenever she chooses to go, a spring-themed cafe overlooking the han river would welcome her with a small cake decorated like a peach flower. it’d be paired with a warm cup of green tea, soothing music, and a third notecard that says, take care, and don’t stress too much – grey isn’t your colour. i have one last gift for you. you know where to find it. no address this time.

and if milan eventually winds up back at their peach tree, she’d find a small wooden box inconspicuously tucked between the branches. in it is a pair of rose-gold twist tie earrings, reminiscent of the promise he once made to her. there’s a final notecard, and it reads, about time you found me. happy birthday.

at the time, rowon’s birthday present had been quite cryptic. a simple envoloppe, an address and her needing two hours. of course, she had looked up the address and had become quite excited to learn that her birthday present from one of her two oldest friends was a manicure. the idea of a treasure hunt did make her feel excited, but the thought of having figured out the boy’s card had her gleeful.

it’s only on july 14, the day after the girl’s first concert that milan realized she had been quite wrong and rowon, was in fact, two steps ahead of her. oh, she was beaming during her amazing treatment at the salon excitedly chatting with the technician, gushing at the original design picked by the man (yes! it had to be this!) and drinking in any tips coming from the kind technician. minutes and soon two hours flew by without milan realizing. oh how she needed this moment of being pampered without it being or an event, filming or performance. pampered just for the sake of it. 

this would’ve been enough of a gift, however, she should’ve known that rowon would do more. she should’ve remembered his treasure hunts weren’t so simple and the arrival of a new notecard shouldn’t have shocked her that much. either way, she had time now, and it was sunny and her interest was utterly picked. 

the next address took her to the han river and an unexpected cake and tea. the cutest cake ever. she had to question if she could even eat such a cute thing. wouldn’t it be a crime to ingest this? kind of felt like destroying a piece of art for no reason. or maybe that had just been her eating disorder talking, trying to rationalize. after a quick calculation on her phone on a calory intake application, the idol grinned before digging in the cake with gusto. shinhye would be proud to see no deficit today (and not because of a lie on her part). a picture of her nails, empty plate and empty cup find their way to rowon, thanking him profusely. she had needed this. self care. sweet care. time for herself. time outside. it might’ve been better if rowon could’ve been present in person, yet, in a way, she felt he had been present all the way.

then came the third notecard. oh this man! no address? how could she not stress! sudden war flashbacks of previous treasure hunts came back to her mind. how many times would she be tricked by his little hunts. never expected at 22 that rowon would still manage to drive her insane with his clue. she picked her phone again this time sending simply “that’s not fair”. she pouted before stopping herself, certain that he was amused already picturing her frown and pouting. no, she wouldn’t give him the pleasure of being right, she thought as a frown drew on her face and the pout came back.

“i have to visit grandma” milan had suddenly declared hours later while dining with her parent. “all of sudden?” her father had asked. yeah, quite sudden to them, but milan had been brooding over the notecard for hours and now and realized there could only be one solution to this riddle; the tree. their tree.

this is how milan finds herself back in her hometown, facing a tree residing not far from her grandmother’s house, the last of her gift and notecard in hand. and she’s pouting. not because the gift is disappointing, quite the opposite, but because indeed, it took her time to get to it. does rowon feel that way about their friendship? her lack of time to spend with him. growing up hasn’t been easy, and today is just another such day proving so. this box had waited here 2 months. 2 whole months. 

this time, she doesn’t text; she dials the number. she doesn’t even try to hide the sadness in her voice. “oppa... i’m sorry i’ve taken so much time. when are you free?”

[lgcmilan]

@lgcsujin :

So his original plan for a gift was a cake. It came in a clear square box and was triple layered with cream, pudding and fresh peaches. The boutique wrote Happy Birthday, Milan! on a white chocolate plaque and tucked it carefully between the delicately crafted peach flowers and apricot glaze.

It was a perfect present - what could possibly be better than cake, right?

Except his sister had to rain on his parade. Not everyone likes cake, she said. Is Milan even around? Cakes are perishable.

Sujin hated to admit it, but she made a fair point.

He went to the mall to acquire a second gift and walked, stone-faced, into the shop with the most amount of cheerful-looking women crowded in. The music was loud and the mixture of scents in the establishment was giving him a headache. He hauled over the nearest salesperson and demanded for recommendations. The girl was slightly put off by his expression, but ultimately presented him with a bunch of items that could be of interest to the birthday girl. Sujin asked for her to wrap up all of the items she recommended, which meant he had Milan’s birthday and Christmas gifts for the next four years.

Happy Birthday, Milan. Your gift this year is a peach-scented candle in a lidded butterfly glass jar. Plus two selfies of Sujin eating the cake he bought for you in your honor. 

the second gift milan opened on the day of her birthday had been sujin. of course, the man knows how to treat a lady and she has to close her eyes in delight at the peach scent of the candle. she’d be burning it every night if she could, but nabi and minseo would likely not appreciate. she decided to settle on every other night, make it a bit more subtle. 

however, what truly got her had to be selfies. of course! she could picture the scene; sujin buying her a cake, only to eat it for a reason or other he had conjured to justify it, considering his gesture of eating it only the right thing to do. ah, this seriously silly man. he did give her a good laugh at least. and not just once; after placing the sefies inside her phone case, she had more than once dug out the pictures to look at them and have another good fit of laughter.

[ 💬 teacher sujin ] oppa! thank you for the gift! the candle smells so good! i’ll use it until none of it is left hehe

[ 💬 teacher sujin ] i’m not sure about the selfies~ i consider burning them because i’m jealous~ that cake looks pretty good huffs

[ 💬 teacher sujin ] if you promise to treat me to it one day, i’ll keep the photos, otherwise, to the fire!!!

[lgcmilan]

@lgcminseo submitted: 

It was difficult task to surprise her friend for her birthday. Her friend’s birthday ended up smacked in the middle of their comeback, but additionally, there was the issue that the two of them spent the majority of the twenty-four hours within a day together. Perhaps, her friend’s birthday gift should have been a break from dealing with her hyper-active energy, or her non-stop conversations about anything and everything. She wanted to respect Milan’s wishes of not going over the top for her 22nd birthday, but it was her 22nd birthday. It had a nice ring to it, didn’t it? She started working on her gift a month before to give her time to perfect the peach blossoms on a pair of jeans from their Levi’s collection, painstakingly adorning the back pockets with threads she had bought to keep the color palette. Alongside the jeans, there were a small box of a peach mochis and a hidden ‘voucher’ she had drawn up for a free weekend getaway when her friend felt up for it and needed to get away from Seoul. After all, it was thanks to Milan that she had learned about respecting boundaries.

To my loveliest Milan, Thank you for being born! It’s unfortunate (or fortunate?) that your birthday falls during our comeback. i appreciate our friendship and hold you in high regard, not only as a person, but as a performer too. i realize that birthdays can be bittersweet since you’re not able to spend it with your family, but i hope that you realize that we’re your family too. you can lean on us on your bad days, and you can absolutely include us in celebrating your best days too! — minseo ❣

for days now, milan has been feeling apprehensive over her birthday. the girl who usually reminds everybody and anybody that may is her birthday month is nowhere to be seen this year. no, 22 doesn’t have a nice ring to her. how can it when her 21rst year has been such a disappointment? until now, she has always considered birthday to be the celebration of the past year, the celebration of how far she’s come and how much she’s done since her last birthday. perhaps if her career would be a priority, she’d be more satisfied. more than satisfied actually. but to the young woman, so many things come before her career and its sucess.

and so, every gift, every letter, ever text message received on this day have so much more meaning this year compared to others. not only they mean that the people around her rememebered without her prompting, but they celebrate this new chapter of her life for her. 

she recognizes the jeans right away and therefore the work that minseo has put on it to personalize it. knowing minseo, this manual task probably took her an immense effort of will to concentrate on (and probably more time than it should’ve). it makes her smile, it tugs at strings of her heart. a mochi quickly finds its way to her mouth and the voucher makes her smile again. 

but its the letter that gets her eyes moist. because minseo is such a sweet friend, such an adorable friend. not just a younger friend who is extremely similar to her, but a true friend, a sister. she’s never had siblings, but now she has 5 sisters. 5 sisters to rely on, 5 sisters who shower her with love, 5 sisters who will never let her fall in darkness.

without a word, letter still clutch in one hand, she finds minseo and wraps her arms around the taller girl. without a word, she squeezes her as hard as she can, as hard as she loves her, as hard as she values her. “thank you” she finally whispers after a while. 

[lgcmilan]

submitted by @lgcsena :

sena creeps over to the living room late at night, careful not to make too much noise in front of the room in which milan is sleeping. this feat is not easy, as she is lugging a heavy paper bag, the peach color disrupted only by writing in black sharpie~ 우리 미란��.  oh wow, it will look perfect right there. she stops just in front of the couch, heaving the bag up onto it to greet her in the morning. sena admires her work for a moment, adjusting the bag until is is perfectly centered and ready for its recipient. inside, milan can find an assortment of nail art supplies (including polish, charms, and acrylic nail tips), and and a letter.

to. milan unnie

i hope this will help you continue to upgrade your nail art game.i need to make another appointment with you soon!have the best birthday ever~

from. sena

barely four hours of sleep. suffice to say that this sleeping beauty looks rough when she finally emerges of the bedroom she sleeps in. milan isn’t one to easily wake up and birthday or not, today is no exception. “unnie” she whines as soon as her (barely opened) eyes land on their manager “why are we always working on my birthday? next year, if we’re not off, i plan on breaking my foot and not be available” she continues in a cute but whiny voice before she finds the older woman and melts into her. as always, like the giant puppy that she is, she tries to rest her head on the other woman’s shoulder and closes her eyes. she’s taller than the woman but that won’t stop her. at least, shinhye humors her, pats her back and probably treats her like a grumpy 4 years old. but somehow, it works, and she finds herself sitting on the sofa, a bowl of cereal in hand and a cup of yerba mate tea on the table in front of her.

that’s when her gaze finally lands on the gift bag. shinhye had mentioned something waiting for her on the sofa, but perhaps her eyes were too closed for her to notice it before. she puts her bowl down to open the rather big bag. “wow!” she exclaims right away though she fishes the letter to read it first. she seems to come alive with every words. the following dive in the bag has her oowing and aawing of happiness. 

when the younger girl finally comes in the living room herself, milan is like a canon ball as she rushes to tackle the girl into a hug. “our boss baby! thank you!” she tells sena. “this is so perfect! i was planning on doing nail arts for my birthday stream! best. timing. ever” she squishes the girl a little harder before letting go. eyes gleaming as she pictures all the new designs she could do with her new acquisition. 

somehow, an evil laugh escapes her throat. 

oh yes, what a perfect gift!

[lgcmilan]

submitted by @lgcxnoeul​ :

He hadn’t thought of how difficult it would be to see his bestfriend after she had debuted, especially for her special day. At times, he was seriously close to bribing her group’s manager to pass along the gift, but he didn’t want to make it weird. It wasn’t like their friendship was a secret. People read too much when it came to their mutual sweet gestures. Perhaps, it was the dilemma of whether two people of the opposite gender could truly be friends, but Noeul found that sentiment to be outright insulting. At the end of the day, Milan was more than his bestfriend and he was willing to stand his ground on never treating her differently because of other people’s possible misinterpretations of their relationship. He was hoping that the two of them could move forward and at times, he realized that he was being unfair for wishing to close their awkward chapter much too quickly for the sake of his own heart to feel more at ease.

For her 22nd birthday, it wouldn’t be a Noeul gift if it wasn’t practical, and on top of that a non-verbal way of letting her know that he saw her. He saw how difficult the past year had been for her, and how much her light had dimmed, which gutted him more than he could verbalize directly to her face. Inside the the most ( not ) professionally wrapped box you’ve ever seen, the contents are presented as follow: a handmade leather bound book with her full name stitched inside of it, a collection of the smoothest gel pens that he had been tempted to keep, and an old-school single-use camera.

To the most conspicuous and mischievous person I know: Can you believe that I’ve been present for most of your birthdays? I don’t think that many people can say that about their closest friends. We won’t be able to celebrate your birthday together this year. It’s a bummer, seriously. You’re too famous for me now, Yu Milan! Let’s spend time when life is more hectic. It feels funny to even say that now… Are we finally adults? For the journal, I thought you could use it to start writing what comes to your mind. It has helped me a lot to write down my train of thought, or even fill out one of the prompts. I filled out one in your journal, but you can’t search for it! I will know if you cheat. Since we can’t be together for your birthday, I’ve gifted you a single-use camera. I’ve taken the first picture, heh. Make sure to use it all up to document your special day. I’ll develop your pictures when you fill it up. Enjoy your day to the fullest, Milan. You can’t have your quarter life crisis yet! —N.

even if milan had decided to keep her birthday lowkey, somehow a handful of gifts had managed to make their way to her. and a lot more than she could’ve imagined. still, it wouldn’t be her birthday if the first gift she opens isn’t noeul’s. no matter the state of their friendship, this is a tradition she will never break.

midnight, right on the dot, she opens her present. she has to acknowledge the effort her friend actually put in trying to wrap the thing up. picturing him in her mind struggling with the wrapping paper makes her smile slightly and gives this gift more meaning in her heart.

after opening the box, she first takes in the items before reaching for the letter and reading the familiar handwriting on the paper. so much said and so much left unsaid, but she can read it all. the young woman has to blink her eyes a couple of time to chase away tears welling up in her eyes; she has cried for a lifetime already, she won’t add to the river of tears today. delicate fingers pick up the camera next, and she inspects the retro item for a while before snapping her first picture. it’s nothing much, just her phone next to the journal, pens and letter. the time on her screen reads 12:07am. it’s a rather mundane picture, but he’ll likely be happy to see that she opened his gift first thing on the 12th.

the following picture is taken in front of the mirror as she’s brushing her teeth, hair in a heep, eyes barely opened, once again, she uses her phone to document the time; the ungodly hour of 4am. she’s had little sleep, but this is how promotion periods are, especially on sundays, when the music show is at 3pm rather than later in the evening. step by step, she documents her day. it’s a typical work day for an idol, not much of a birthday really. though here and there, there are signs of others celebrating her; from gifts from her members, to cake from the staff, to banners from the fans, and present boxes or bags from other friends. she even shares some backstage picures of inkigayo and so many other things she’d been wanting to show him since her debut but couldn’t until now.

she documents this day so that he can feel like he’s been with her through it and, in a way, so that she can feel that he’s here with her. unflattering pictures of her waking up from cat naps here and there, of hectic waiting rooms, of behind the scenes of her birthday livestream, of her almost dozing off while removing her makeup, finally back at the dorm. it’s close to midnight again when she takes the second to last picture, tucked in bed, comforter up to her chin. she’s exhausted but satisfied that she’s managed to fill the roll. or almost, that is. the last picture is something else entirely. it’s a picture of the first page of her journal:

oppa! this year again, you have been by my side on my birthday! even if it wasn’t physically, through your gift, i could feel your presence with me today. and i realized that for the first time in a while, i can say that today was a happy day, all thanks to you. so thank you for this wonderful present! i made good use of the camera and i’ll now make good use of the journal. i’ll fill it quickly to find you entry hehe

and lastly; oppa, thank for being here, thank you for being you, thank you for being my oppa always and forever.