#mike who sure could just be constantly dissociating about his past

[bravevolunteer]

idk when i made my movie verse i was trying to keep it as unobtrusive as possible since everything was so fresh but man….. thinking about all the mike afton theories where he wasn’t necessarily too young to remember anything related to that but his “memories” are just so unreliable due to trauma

[daydreamers-sys]

tw // SH, mentions of neglect and childhood trauma

Subject: wondering if I have OSDD

hi, I recently learned about OSDD and think that I could have it. I would talk to a therapist, but as of now I can’t afford one. I have always strongly believed I had a dissociative disorder (more specifically Depersonalization/derealization disorder) until I happened to learn about OSDD. what caught my attention specifically was the ability to have fictional alters. since I was a kid, I have imagined fictional characters talking to me, comforting me, supporting me etc.

I always thought it was strange bc it would happen when I would be stressed out and then bam a character would be talking to me. for example, (and god I feel so embarrassed saying this but I’m trying to be honest) when I was really bad at self harming as a kid I would imagine markiplier telling me not to (I know mark isn’t a fictional character but he’s the only real life person who has done this). he would be comforting me and saying nice things, and I would calm down bc of this and not self harm. when I start thinking about my past trauma sometimes a character will soothe me. even as an adult now (20) when me and my partner argue, occasionally a character will be there talking to me and comforting me afterwards.

over the years it’s been different people but I just thought that my mind would “project” a character that I like/relate to in order to protect me and help me feel better. I was very neglected as a child and grew up in a terrible environment and have been through A LOT of trauma to put it simply. I never had anyone to take care of/protect me when I was a kid, so I figured my brain just temporarily gave me a parent/friend/whatever.

as far as I can remember (and I know I’m forgetting people) this has happened with rumpelstiltskin from ouat, joker from the dark knight for a LONG time (I know lol please kill me) mike from tdi, dexter for a LON G T IME, markiplier, tyler joseph?, riddler and penguin when the show Gotham first came out, and riddler and penguin now bc I started rewatching it

yes it is very embarrassing for me to say that I would “project” fictional serial killers and sadistic maniacs in order to help me survive childhood. however, I have always related to these characters bc typically they have the worst childhoods or are treated terribly and I can strongly relate to them bc of that. I also believe that since they are malicious/intelligent my brain views them as worthy protectors of me? I’m not sure and I prefer not thinking about it lmao.

these characters have helped me through a lot of daily stress and trauma. although, as far as I know, they don’t take control of me or make my body do things, or talk to me (I can’t tell if they are talking to me or if I’m “role playing” with myself as comfort). I constantly dissociate 24/7 though, and I don’t even notice until I “come back?” a past therapist has validated my dissociation, so I do know that it is what I am experiencing. she also said that I have too much trauma for my brain to process so that’s why I dissociate so often, but our talks on dissociation never went further than that due to more harmful things we had to discuss.

I’m not sure if this matters at all, but I have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria (trans guy), GAD, and depression. I suspected that I had more, but our sessions had to end bc she moved. also, I’m very sorry if I am just projecting these characters into my mind to protect myself and they actually aren’t alters of myself at all. I would hate to be offensive in any way.

they show up seemingly randomly when I’m stressed out, and don’t appear every time I’m upset. They show up rarely as far as I know. I’m also an age regressor (little) due to trauma, if that adds anything to the topic. I’m really confused about the characters and can’t tell if they’re a coping mechanism or full on OSDD. I’ve also seen people say fictive alters don’t exist or that having only fictive alters makes you a faker. I’m obviously not educated enough about OSDD to understand, but again if I am offensive in anyway I am deeply sorry and am just trying to learn about myself. (also so sorry for this being long but I felt like I needed to describe my situation)

I know you aren’t a therapist, and you don’t have to respond if you don’t want to.

So I’m going to preface this with: I am not a therapist/psychologist and cannot diagnose anyone. Please take my words with a grain of salt and see a psych when you can. That said, I’ll gladly give my opinion here.

I’m attempting to break this down paragraph-by-paragraph to make organizing our own thoughts easier.

They come up to protect you in times of stress or during s/h. This tells me you might have protectors/caretakers (indicative of trauma but you already know of your own)

The “projection” you talk about sounds like classic introjection; your mind relates to them and believes you and your system would benefit from it, and inserts them into the system. This is especially true since you’ve experienced trauma

This is just a slight aside but “I can’t tell if they’re talking to me or if I’m ‘role playing’ with myself for comfort,” constant dissociation, not noticing until you “come back,” all of these sound like signs of monoconsciousness (which is common with OSDD!) As for them not really taking control, there’s a clause in the diagnostic criteria for Partial Dissociative Identity Disorder (P-DID) in the ICD-11 that says the host might instead be “intruded upon by one or more non-dominant personality states in daily life (dissociative intrusions).”

With that last bit being said, if you experience the above but don’t experience two or more personality states with discontinuities of the self and agency, you most likely don’t have OSDD.

When it comes to alters, they’re not always clearly alters “of you,” if that makes sense. Sometimes (like in OSDD-1b and DID) they’re entirely different people (including introjects!). Alters aren’t always different versions of each other like in OSDD-1a (and iirc 1a is a more rare presentation but I could be wrong), so I think you might just misunderstand what alters are a little (and that’s okay! You’re learning)

You might not be a system and might be using these characters to cope, but that’s okay too! There is literally nothing wrong with that, but it might mean that you’re not necessarily a system (or at least not a disordered one). Introject-heavy systems only make sense because these disorders typically develop in childhood and children tend to use media (especially fictional) to escape from and cope with traumatic situations. Personally, I think anyone who fakeclaims introject-heavy systems is just uneducated.

TLDR; in my honest opinion, I think it’s possible that you have OSDD-1, but you were unclear as to whether they front (it IS possible to just not notice). However, considering they talk to you (even if it feels like roleplaying) and talk you out of harming yourself, and these interactions are involuntary, these sound like the aforementioned dissociative intrusions. They don’t need to fully front, persay, given the wording of the ICD-11.

Again, please take these opinions with a grain of salt. Also, nothing you’re doing is offensive, you’re just talking about your personal experiences here. All of this is completely okay.

(If I added links directly to this, Tungle mobile would crash delete everything I wrote once I open my browser. Citations to be added momentarily)

[the-face-in-the-mirror]

Stranger Things 4 Theory/Prediction: The Clocks Symbolize Memories

Well shit, here we go again.

So obviously everybody has been going off about the recently released Season 4 announcement, with that crazy heckin’ video with the Upside Down, and the clock, and the light in the distance, and all that good stuff. And naturally, people have been making theories, so I decided to make one of my own, using evidence and clues from the announcement trailer, and evidence from previous theories (about the current three seasons) made by other theorists in the fandom.

So, obviously, the most prominent theory in the Fandom at this point (concerning Season 4) is that there’s going to be a time travel element. And I can see how some people would think that, especially with the clock in the trailer, the Twitter account posting the tweet with the clock, Back To The Future in Season 3, and Hopper’s speech mentioning that he wishes he could “turn back the clock.” However, I myself don’t see how this could make any sense, and time travel would inevitably serve to only make the show more unnecessarily complicated and filled with holes, as time travel is not an easy thing to get right and can be portrayed poorly without very careful planning.

My theory, on the other hand, is that Season 4, and all the clues about clocks and turning back the clock, has nothing to do with time travel, but rather Will’s plotline and his relationship with Mike.

Hear me out:

First, let’s examine this still from the announcement trailer.

Obviously this isn’t the best quality, but there are a few key things that we can single out: the clock, the Welcome To Hawkins sign, Will’s bike (in the iconic position that everyone has known since Season 1), and what appears to be a newspaper strewn across it. There’s also the light in the distance which could either be Hopper’s cabin, or Hopper himself, but I’ll refrain from talking about that since that’s not what this theory is about.

So the clock is obvious, and it’s been hinted that we are directly supposed to focus on the clock and that clocks and time have something significant to do with this season, primarily due to this tweet:

Now let’s talk about this tweet.

Again, there’s the clock - this clock coupled with the other clock shows that they’re important somehow, which is obvious by this point. But there’s one thing from this tweet that I never see anyone talking about, and that’s what is placed right next to the clock: an upside-down smiley face.

The announcement trailer takes place in the Upside Down, where we already know time to be somewhat skewed. Mr. Clarke even said himself in Season 1 that the Gate can affect magnetic fields (the magnets and compasses), the environment (the dying crops), gravity, and even time itself. This is very subtly touched on in Season 2 when Will sees the Mind Flayer at his house for the first time, where the clock on the wall is shown to be ticking rapidly - much faster than it should be.

This could possibly be in relation to what has been happening with Hopper and his time in the Upside Down, but again, that’s not what this theory is about.

Now, this is all well in good, but I think it means something else aside from that. And sure, Time Travel theory is slightly plausible, but, personally, I don’t think that’s what these clues are hinting towards at all - or at least not in the traditional sense. So here’s my theory: the clock and all the hints of turning it back have nothing to do with literal time travel, but rather a way of “turning back the clock” that is far more intimate and relevant to Stranger Things itself - memory.

Ever since Season 2, and even in elements of Season 1, memory has played a big part in fighting against the Mind Flayer. While he was in the Upside Down, Will sung Should I Stay Or Should I Go to himself for comfort, clinging to the memory of listening to it with Jonathan to keep himself sane. When Will was possessed by the Mind Flayer it was the memories of his childhood from Joyce, Jonathan, and Mike that allowed him to continue fighting the Mind Flayer as much as he did. The same method is applicable to Billy, who is able to break free of the Mind Flayer’s control when he is reminded of his happiest memory with his mother. Not to mention that El is able to actively look into peoples’ memories, as she does with both Billy and her own mother.

Memory plays an important part in this show, and it especially plays a key role with Will and his relationship with Mike, and how it’s going to develop in Season 4.

Let’s start with my first point: memories being important to Will’s storyline.

Warning: Mentions of abuse and sexual assault ahead.

For the purpose of this theory, I’m going off of @kaypeace21​‘s theory that the Mind Flayer represents Will's dad, and that a grand majority of the events on the show represent the past sexual abuse that Will can’t remember due to dissociative amnesia. You can read more about that here and here. Kaypeace does an amazing job on it and goes super in-depth into details I wouldn’t have noticed otherwise, so I would definitely suggest reading it if you haven’t.

Throughout season 2 Will constantly references what he says are “like old memories, in the back of [his] head,” and that his Now Memories from the Mind Flayer are “like when you have a dream” and “you can’t remember it unless you think really hard.” This is quite common with survivors of sexual assault, especially if the abuse occurred when they were children. I don’t think I even need to point out the r*pe parallels of Will getting possessed at this stage, so we’ll move on. The point is that Will’s memories of his abuse are there, he just can’t remember them properly - he’s “forgotten” them, in a sense; stored them so deep in the back of his psyche that he can’t bring them back up - and they’re represented with the Mind Flayer who abstractly plays out scenarios that parallel abuse; abuse that Will has gone through in the past.

So in terms of memory, here’s what I theorize is going to happen:

El - likely with her powers returned - is going to end up looking into Will’s memories, just as she did with Terry and Billy, and he’s going to end up remembering everything he repressed.

This definitely isn’t a pleasant idea, not in the slightest, especially with how that will affect Will in the long run; however, recovering repressed memories through clinical hypnotism is an actual method used by therapists for treating people with dissociative disorders. It definitely isn’t the best method of therapy, and is even known to be controversial due to the possibility of creating false memories, but, at times, it still helps people with dissociative disorders to come to terms with what happened in their past and begin to heal from it. Hypnotism is even slightly related to the show with the concept of MKUltra, even if we never directly see it. You can read more about Dissociative Amnesia and treatments for it here.

And why do I think this will happen? Because of another thing I haven’t yet seen people talking about in their posts concerning the announcement teaser: Will’s bike.

Will crashing his bike in Season 1 marks a moment where everything changes - where he’s dragged into the Upside Down, representing his own trauma as a whole along with El’s. And when his bike is found, that changes everything for both his family and his friends - to realize that something happened to him, that he didn’t just skip school or run away. The (what seems to be) newspaper strewn across it is representative of Will’s life changing as well; suddenly everyone in Hawkins knows who he is. He’s the boy who died in the quarry, and then the boy who came back to life, and people are paying attention to him (both good and bad) whether he likes it or not. He’s the most interesting thing that has ever happened in Hawkins, a mystery, a spectacle, and it’s clear that he hates it. Hawkins has never been welcoming to him, and with the Upside Down and everyone looking at him like he’s even “more of a freak” due to his disappearance, Hawkins is the last place he wants to be welcomed back to.

Will’s bike being in the Upside Down in the trailer shows us that, as hard as he is trying to recover and move on, he’s still stuck in that moment. He’s still between the View-Master slides, both in the Upside Down and not, and as much as he’s trying to move on he can’t, not until he’s finally able to face his abuser (the Mind Flayer/his dad).

This leads to my second point:

How memories are important in Mike and Will’s relationship.

Of everyone that shares memories in the shed in Season 2, Mike’s memory of when he first met Will is the one that really gets through to him, allowing him to break free of the Mind Flayer’s control just enough to send a message. From the camera angles, the lighting, and the acting of it alone, it’s obvious that it’s a very intimate moment between the two of them,

where Mike is at his most vulnerable

to bring Will back -

he’s sharing the most personal memory he has, the one that means the most to him.

And that is significant.

That scene gives us insight into how long Mike and Will have been friends, an indication of

how deep their story goes

, how close they were with each other. It’s not a memory that includes Dustin, or Lucas, or even any of their family members - it’s just them. The scene itself reflects that. They’re close, and they always have been.

And it isnt just that scene either; there are many instances, from Mike going through Will’s drawings after they pull the fake body out of the quarry to a photo - a tangible memory - of the Party (with emphasis on Mike and Will) being what makes Mike realize that El could be the key to finding Will.

Their memories are important to them - their past and their story are important to them; and, therefore, they’re important to the show. Crucial to the show.

Now fast-forward to Season 3, where Mike has done almost a complete 180 and focuses all of his time on El due to his perception that that’s what he has to do - he has a girlfriend now, he’s grown up (in his own eyes), and that’s all that matters. Mike’s main theme in the season is “we’re not kids anymore,” which he says to Will in the carport - Will, who wants to go back to their younger days; Will, who wants to relive a little bit of what he lost due to his trauma; Will, who wants to turn back that clock, who misses playing board games every night, who doesn’t want things to change.

Hopper, in his speech, wishes he could go back to a simpler time where he and El were closer than they are in Season 3 - when they spent more time together, weren’t distant from each other, talked to each other. And that’s what Will wants, too, throughout the entirety of the third season. He wants to go back to a simpler time where he wasn’t distant from everyone, and didn’t have to worry about the Upside Down or the Mind Flayer, or his friends - Mike - leaving him because they’re getting girlfriends and growing up and he’s stuck by himself - the lonely little gay kid in love with his best friend.

And it’s Mike’s words, and Will looking at the picture - the memory - of them from Halloween when Mike promised that he and Will would “go crazy together,” that finally send Will past his breaking point, causing him to rip the picture directly in half, symbolizing the rift between him and Mike.

With all this damage done, Mike and Will are a tattered reflection of what they used to be - what we were told about in Season 1 and what we saw in Season 2 - and Season 3 never truly takes the time to amend it. The end of the season shows that they’re clearly on good terms again (what with Will’s flirting and Mike’s fond smile towards him), but that’s not good enough. Not after that catastrophic fight that led to the destruction of Castle Byers and a clear rift in their friendship - that’s not something you can resolve offscreen.

Therefore, I believe that Season 4 will see the proper reparation of Mike and Will’s relationship.

Finally, they’ll talk. They’ll talk about everything - growing distant from each other, barely talking to each other, and the feelings that both of them, Mike especially, have been trying to ignore for years. They can fix the picture, fix the tear between them; the picture will never be exactly the same, but it’ll still be there, and Mike will retell the memory of when he first met Will, paralleling the scene in the shed, but without the Mind Flayer, and without the impending doom. And through this, they can turn back the clock, go back, in a way, to how things once were. They can recreate a time when they were closer, when it was just the two them sitting on the swings, and they can bring back what was so special about their relationship to begin with.

And with the two of them back together and stronger than ever before, Will can finally fully accept himself as he is, for his past and his present, and face the Mind Flayer (his father) once and for all.

This was a really long theory, and one that took me a bit to fully put together myself, but after a lot of research and rereading of multiple theories from Kaypeace, I think I’ve got something pretty solid here. It’s a lot, especially considering that I’m going off of a singular tweet and a 30-second announcement trailer, and there are a couple things that might be a reach, but I think it still has some weight to it. 

Obviously it’s way too early to tell if any of this could be true, so we’ll have to wait for more content, but after all of the theories I’ve read from some of you guys I have no doubt that it’s entirely plausible for some of this theory to be true. Now let’s just hope the Duffers don’t screw us over (which they might, but I will choose to believe they still have half a braincell between them), and pray that we’re on to something. Which, inevitably, we are.