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milkmateartist · 4 years ago

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HEAVENS Black Garden English Translation 【 Main Story Pt. 1】

[ --- I do not own Black Garden, HEAVENS, Utapri, or any of the characters. This is a fan translation using a combination of google translate and my own japanese knowledge --- ]

// Translated by MilkmateArtist

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▽ = Speaking / Speaker

A deep forest covers the clear sky.

The air here is a little cooler than what's normal for the seasonal temperature.

The surroundings are quiet with only the noise of the trees and my footsteps.

▽ You

Is it really this way?

The continuing trail ahead of me looked more like an animal trail. It would be uncomfortable to even call it a road.

Anxious, I dropped my eyes down to the letter.

A letter that arrived to me even though I had no relatives.

It stated that I had the right to inherit the legacy of a person who claimed to be my paternal grandfather.

I lost my parents early and didn't know my grandfather, let alone his relatives.

Invited by the letter, I was now visiting the land mentioned there.

It was a place rich in nature called the "Heavenly Forest".

Everything I saw was shining.

▽ You

Maybe that is it over there...?

In an open area, there appeared to be a beautifully made road and an iron gate.

The gate is locked.

(A) Give up and go home

(B) Try calling out

(A) Give up and go home

▽ You

There is no sign of anyone around, and there is no way to ask.

I have no choice but to give up ...

I went back the way I came and returned to my usual life.

BAD END

(B) Call out

▽ You

I'm sorry! Is anyone there?

I shouted out loud. Behind the gath, the path led further back, and I could see a bit of the shadow of a house.

Maybe they will notice?. However, there was no reply.

CONTINUE

I picked up a stone that had fallen nearby and swung it down at the key.

▽ You

Eh……?

The stone rolled off the hand without hitting the key.

My head hurt like it was burning, and my vision went red.. I had no choice but to fall into the place without power.

BAD END

CONTINUE:

Next I tried to push the gate.

▽ You

It's no use, but I'll keep trying. I wonder what I should do now.

Suddenly, a loud noise came from a nearby tree.

A person jumped from the top of said tree.

▽ You

!! !!

▽ Hugo

Who are you? What business do you have at the mansion?

I could see that he's well trained from his large body and mannerisms,

▽ Hugo

Hey, answer my question.

▽ You

…… My name is (___). I got a letter and was invited here.

I answered frantically while under the pressure from his force.

▽ Hugo

(___) ?

▽ You

Yes....

He brought his face closer, staring at me with a sharp look.

▽ Hugo

Nope! I haven't heard of you. You're pretty suspicious..

▽ You

Eh?!

▽ Virgil

Hugo, calm down. This person is a client. Moreover, they should be treated politely.

A man came running up from behind and got in between us.

▽ Virgil

I'm sorry, I seem to have surprised you.

With a concerned expression on his face, he bowed his head politely.

▽ Virgil

Hugo's job is to keep an eye on the area around the building since he's the mansions gatekeeper. Don't think too bad of him.

▽ Hugo

……Hmph.. I'm going to go look around. Take it from here.

▽ Virgil

I'm Virgil, the coachman of this building. I was supposed to pick you up, but there seems to have been a bit of a misunderstanding.

▽ Virgil

I apologize for the inconvenience, but you allow me to escort you to the mansion?

He extended his elbows as if he were dealing with a lady.

I was nervous, but followed him..

▽ Virgil

We have a short way to walk until we reach the mansion. Even someone whose familiar with the place can get lost.

▽ You

It's a very large area.

Even after walking for a while, I couldn't see the whole view of the building. I feel that the world they live in is different from my own.

▽ Virgil

Especially at night, it's pitch black, so it's dangerous. It's rumored that *things* come out around then.

▽ You

!! !!

I gasped, involuntarily making a large gesture.

▽ Virgil

Ah, that's a good reaction. You're cute, so I can't help but play around a bit. It's just a rumor!

▽ You

…… Oh, okay.

But it was true that there were dark places, that were black even in the daytime.

It's no wonder that something could lurk inside it.

▽ Virgil

Ah, we arrived!

Passing through the stone gate, there was a large mansion towering over it.

▽ Mika

Oh~ You're here~.

A child popped out from the entrance. He came down the stairs and stopped in front of me.

▽ Mika

I will guide you from here! Now go away Virgil!

When I took my arm from Virgil, he double-took as though he wanted to hug me.

▽ Virgil

Mika is pushy as always. But as many times as I say it, it doesn't matter.

He shrugged and went on, still somehow cheery in his tone.

▽ Virgil

I'll leave the rest to you. I'm going to the stables to check on the horses. I'll see you later.

▽ Mika

By the way, again ... I'm Mika! I'm working here as a messenger boy.

▽ You

Messenger ... Boy?

I tilt my head, puzzled. It's a profession I'm not too familiar with.

▽ Mika

I take letters from my master and deliver them to other peoples residences, and vice versa. Also, I'm so cute, so I'll be asked to accompany people when I go out.

The owner of this building must be a fairly high-ranking person.

▽ Mika

Leave the area to me, let alone this mansion!! I'm very on top of things, so I know everything.

He probably has a lot of opportunities at his job to come into contact with a lot of different thing.

▽ Mika

Indeed, I even know about that letter you have! My master told me that I went out to the town.

▽ Mika

I'll call Abel, so wait a bit here!

That said, Mika disappeared into the front door.

Left behind, I stopped in front of the big door at the front entrance.. Looking closely, I was amazed at the size of it. .

(A) Observe the mansion

(B) Look into the window

(A) Observe the mansion

I walked around the mansion, drawn to the splendor of the building.

▽ You

I've never seen such a nice house. I wonder if this is also in the inheritance of the heritage ...

When I gently touched the wall, the cool sensation seemed to tell me that this was not a dream.

▽ You

Oh, I want to know soon!

I was thrilled by the glorious life that would be waiting for me.

I thought I heard a loud noise, the next moment, a shock ran to my body.

A part of the dilapidated building collapsed and fell heavily on me.

I can't breathe and I can't move one finger. I feel like I heard someone's voice in the distance, but then I couldn't hear it anymore.

BAD END

(B) Look into the window

I turned to the large window above the front door.

▽ You

!! !!

What I saw for a moment through the gap in the curtain was a devil with a terrifying appearance.

An indescribable horror struck me and I fainted.

When I woke up, I was in a small dark room.

There is no way to know how much time has passed. I was paralyzed.

I was just helpless, wrapped in darkness and waiting for the last moment.

BAD END

I did as I was told. While waiting, I heard an energetic voice from the other side of the door.

I don't know what they were talking about, but I recognized Mika's voice.

He was probably explaining my presence.

The door opened and showed his face, smiling.

▽ Mika

He said you can come in!

I nodded and stepped inside.

▽ Abel

You've arrived, (___). . I'm Abel. The person who is entrusted with this mansion.

▽ You

Nice to meet you…….

▽ Abel

The owner of the mansion wants to extend hospitality to you. Please think of this as your home and relax.

▽ You

Thank you. Um ... may I ask you something?

▽ Abel

Oh. I'll answer to any question.

▽ You

The letter said that the owner of the museum was my grandfather, but what was he like?

▽ Abel

Is that so? I'm sorry for this. There is no way he could have written that. He is still alive.

▽ You

Oh is that so ...!

▽ Abel

He is on a trip now and away from the building. He was very concerned about whether you would respond to the letter.

▽ Mika

He was worried that you wouldn't come to see him.. Because you haven't been in contact for a long time.

▽ You

Above all, I am glad that you have done your best for me. I want to meet him in person and talk.

▽ Abel

Its best to relax until the master returns. You can use this building freely.

Feel free to use this large mansion ... What a luxury! Just thinking about it made me excited.

▽ Abel

However ...

▽ Abel

Do not enter only in the garden at night. Absolutely ...

He spoke in a soft voice up to that point, and my spine froze.

▽ Mika

……Oh... Oh yeah, That's right. I'll go call Keith. See you.

Mika looked frightened and ran to the back of the house as though to escape from something.

▽ Abel

It's dark at night and it's dangerous because the beasts come out. Of course, it's not easy to get in.

Before I knew it, things had returned to the original calm atmosphere.

▽ Keith

...... I made you wait.

▽ Abel

You're here. This is (___).

▽ Keith

...... I'm Keith. ……Nice to meet you.

I waited for his next words, but apparently this was the end of his self-introduction. He seemed to be the quiet type.

▽ You

It's nice to meet you.

▽ Abel

Keith is a servant of the master. He is also an escort and is a very reliable man.

I wondered if the sword on his waist was for escort too..?

▽ Abel

Keith, could you please guide them through the mansion? I have office duties from now on.

▽ Keith

……Yeah..

He nodded, extending a hand to me and we started walking.

▽ Keith

…… where to.. ...... Is there a place you're interested in?

(A) Somewhere to relax

(B) Somewhere fun

(A) A place to relax

▽ You

Where does everyone go to relax?

▽ Keith

……this way..

There was an open space beyond the entrance, with a large sofa.

▽ Keith

……the hall. Here ... people often talk ...

The light came in and there was a warm atmosphere. When I tried sitting on the couch I sank in, feeling how high quality it was.

▽ You

I might just wind up telling a long story now

CONTINUE

(B) A place to enjoy

▽ You

What do you enjoy doing during your breaks?

▽ Keith

...... Enjoy, huh? Not much ... entertainment around but...

Thinking about it a bit, he stepped forward. There was a quiet place in the basement.

Opening the door revealed many books. inside.

▽ Keith

Doing research ..., reading aloud ... Besides books, there are also games.

▽ You

Wow! With all of this there will never be enough time

CONTINUE

▽ You

Since this is such a huge mansion, is there a secret place? It's like a room that doesn't open.

Without thinking I curiously asked. Keith's eyes glistened.

▽ Keith

There is…….

▽ You

……!

▽ Keith

...... no such room.

▽ You

Ah, I- I figured....

I then saw at the end of the corridor that there was dim passage.

As I approached, I saw a staircase leading upwards. It was dark, and I couldn't see how long it was.

Strangely anxious, I stepped up the stairs as though they were sucking me in.

▽ You

Ah-…….

I couldn't understand what was happening.. A red stain was spreading at the soles of my feet.

▽ You

W..Why…….

Those were my last words.

BAD END

CONTINUE:

I was guided through the hall. There were various rooms, all of which were luxuriously constructed.

▽ Keith

There are still more rooms ... But I must not.. tire you out.

▽ You

Is there still more! ?? From the looks of things I think I can go on..

▽ Keith

You don't have to rush ... There is a lot of time ...

He smiled as he looked at me with my eyes rounded. Seeing that smile made me happy we were getting more acquainted.

▽ You

Hey, that sword is pretty neat. Is it for self-defense?

What I had been worried about for a long time just kind of spilled out of my mouth.

▽ Keith

This ...?

He touched the sword that hung from his waist.

▽ You

Yeah, I'm asking about what it's used for....

I swallowed words on their way out. Acutely my body froze up and I couldn't move.

Keith's eyes became sharp and sparkled with a suspicious light.

▽ Keith

………….

I thought he was going to silently take out the sword from the sheath, but in an instant he thrust it at me.

▽ Keith

It's a cursed sword that seeks the blood of a young maiden. ...... Should I try it out?

He had a cold expression holding no emotion.

▽ You

Eek ...!

▽ Keith

……just kidding.

With that said, he rotated the handle of his heavy sword and put it back in its sheath.

▽ You

Ha, haha.... That was something.

The tension released at once, and I sighed loudly.

▽ Keith

I'm sorry ... I seem to have surprised you.

Seeing his clumsy smile, I understood this was his odd way of interacting with me.

▽ Eric

Hey, Keith. Can you taste the food for me? I think I did a good job!

A young man ran up with a smile.

▽ Eric

You are...! Could it be...

He corrected his posture, astonished when he noticed me.

▽ You

I'm ( ___ ), . The person who came here after receiving a letter.

▽ Eric

( ___ ), It's a nice name. I'm Eric. Nice to meet you.

A bit shy, his cheeks went pink and he bashfully looked down.

▽ Eric

About that, ... I was cooking for you. I hope you like it.

▽ You

Thank you!

▽ Eric

Ah, it's not a big deal at all. I was a little unsure because I made a special menu that I haven't all that often.

▽ Keith

Do not worry. Eric's food is ... always delicious.

▽ Eric

Is that so? I'm happy you say that. That's not all, I'm also in charge of cooking.

▽ Eric

Have you met everyone else yet?

▽ Keith

They have not met Simon....

▽ Eric

Simon should be in the garden at this time.

▽ Keith

Eric ... It would be good if you took them ... I will continue the cooking.

▽ Eric

Really ? I still have a lot of supper preparations left.

▽ Keith

It's fine……. You're able to convey the charm of the garden better as a gardener.

▽ Eric

All right. Thank you, Keith. Well then, let's go.

▽ Eric

It's better to go to the garden from outside the building. We will use the back road, it's a detour from where we are now.

Leaving the mansion, we walked side by side on the road leading to the garden.

▽ Eric

The roses are in full bloom this time of year, so I really recommend seeing them!

He spoke with an excited gesture. . I could tell he loved the garden from the bottom of his heart.

▽ Eric

It's breathtakingly beautiful. I see them everyday but I find myself visiting. I often have tea with my friends there.

▽ You

Friends……. What kind of relationship do you have with everyone? It's nice being close.

▽ Eric

I'm a colleague, but it's like we're a family. I've lived here together since forever and we're always by one anothers side.

I was very envious of that kind of family relationship since I had no relatives.

▽ Eric

Oh, Abel ... He's my real brother. So he's actually family.

Now that I think of it, it seems their hair and eye colors are similar. But their personality and energy are completely different.

▽ Eric

We'll arrive in the garden soon.

▽ You

Um……. I heard that you shouldn't enter the garden at night. Why is that?

I tossed out the words I've been contemplating for a while after asking Abel.

▽ Eric

...... Who, did you hear from?

Eric stopped.

▽ Eric

Who ...? Hey ...?

I was grabbed by my shoulder and interrogated. The energy he was giving off made it feel like he was a different person.

▽ You

…… M-, Mr. Abel.

▽ Eric

What my brother says is absolute. Don't go against it ... absolutely.

With a serious look, I nodded deeply.

▽ Eric

Haha. I thought you would understand. Well, we arrived.

After passing through the aisle, there was a grand "paradise".

The calm garden, full of flowers, praised the beauty of the world.

▽ You

Beautiful ...

▽ Eric

Right? I'm glad you liked it. But I can't find Simon.

I looked around, but there was no sign of anyone.

▽ Eric

He should be taking a nap somewhere in the garden, so let's split up and find search.

▽ You

Okay!

We split up and started looking for Simon.

(A) Search behind the tall hedge

(B) Search in the flower field

(A) Search Behind the tall Hedge

▽ You

Is it behind this hedge ...?

It was a good hiding spot since it was as tall as a person and provided good shade for a nap.

I looked behind, but no one was there.

CONTINUE

(B) Search in the Flower Field

▽ You

He must be in a flower field.

It felt like If I slept surrounded by these beautiful flowers, I'd have a good dream.

Pushing my way through the flowers, only butterflies took off and there was no harvest.

CONTINUE

▽ You

Maybe he's further out.

The back of the vast garden was adjacent to the forest. Maybe there was a good place to take a nap in the woods, like under the shade of a tree.

I went deeper and deeper in.

( -----JUMP TO SIMONS ROUTE------)

CONTINUE:

▽ You

Where are you ...

Distracted by the surroundings, I tripped in the grass.

▽ You

Kya!

Falling forward, I landed in a bush.

▽ You

This is…….

There was a small space in the bush that allowed me to get up, and in that place there also was a young man with transparent white skin.

▽ You

Are you Simon ...?

▽ Simon

Who are you ...? Why are you here ...

He curled up as if frightened, and bore the color of hostility in his eyes.

▽ You

I'm ( ___ ), I'm sorry to have surprised you.

▽ Simon

( ___ ) ……. The Lord's relative?

Most likely being explained to in advance, Simon looked relieved.

▽ You

This is a warm and comfortable place huh. It's very relaxing.

▽ Simon

Oh……. Do you understand too? A feeling of being gently wrapped in nature .... It seems to awaken a memory of before being born.

His expression was ecstatic and his eyes were shining. I could tell that he had a pure and straight heart.

▽ Simon

Oh ... what a wonderful day. I will once again enjoy the splendor while feeling the vibrations of the earth ....

Then he gently closed his eyelids.

▽ Simon

Zzzz …….

▽ You

Simon, don't sleep!

I grabbed his shoulders and shook him but it didn't help much.

▽ You

Eric was looking for you..

▽ Simon

...... Eric was ...?

▽ Eric

I found you! So you were here huh.

Eric looked into the bushes.

Suddenly, the low roar of thunder sounds.

A black rain cloud cast a shadow over the clear blue sky.

▽ Eric

The weather is going to change, so let's go back to the mansion.

We quickly left the garden.

---------------------------------------------------

Go to Black Garden English Translation Directory here for more routes.

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tidalcreek · 4 years ago

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tagged by @tendergazing thank u sm sve!! 💓

1. name / nickname: ty 2. gender: im just some guy 3. star sign: sag sun gemini moon virgo rising. idk what that means i think it sucks 4. height: i thought i was 5′6 for years but i went to the doctor recently and in reality i am. oh god i cant even say it 🤢 5′7 5. time: 4:40pm 6. birthday: november 30 7. favorite bands/groups: the mountain goats, kuinka, typhoon, the decemberists, the velvet underground, bleachers, one direction, 5sos <3 8. favorite solo artist: samia, bruce springsteen, fiona apple, phoebe bridgers, mika, elton john, florence + the machine, julien baker, t*ylor swift 9. song stuck in my head: no children :-) 10. last movie: mikey and nicky! 11. last show: rewatching succession w cait and i am STILL watching hannibal 12. when did i create this blog: i think i remade in early 2018? 13. what do i post: literally i am just a run of the mill white college age gay person on tumblr..lots of art and quotes and i have different tags for writing insp as well 14. last thing googled: the adhd center i got diagnosed at...trying 2 manifest therapy and maybe also medication in 2021 15. other blogs: no sideblogs we url hoard like men 16. do i get asks: almost never except when cait reminds me im stupid <33 17. why did i choose this url: my lover man by bruce springsteen. literally taylor swift wishes she wrote this song and buried it on a 70 track outtakes album 18. following: 423 19. followers: like 350 20. average hours of sleep: 7 probably! i am trying to sleep more 21. lucky number: mmm 9 is my favorite idk about lucky 22. instruments: violin! and i play bass guitar by ear with terrible technique <3 23. what am i wearing: oh you know sweatpants hoodie warm socks 24. dream job: i have a crisis about this every day thank you! i want to make movies and also do social science and also never ever engage with capitalism 25. dream trip: italy (hi sve) to see my relatives, cait ty road trip!! 26. favorite food: any thai food esp pad thai and pad kee mao from my local place 27. nationality: dont make me say it....i do not want to live in the usa 28. favorite song: i fundamentally disagree with this question! but Currently on the level by leonard cohen or the origin of love riverdale cast version :) 29. last book read: last one i finished was the great gatsby again! 30. three fictional universes you’d like to live in: middle earth is thee original emotional support escapism universe; any ghibli movie but mentally i am always on the train from spirited away; and i know prince edward island is not fictional but pei as described in anne of green gables. the only place on earth

tagging @mysterysciencewhatever @cottagelores IF you want to!!

#tagged

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crybabykiko · 4 years ago

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hihi. I'm a 5'1 (tiny) nonbinary peep. I just dyed my hair red, greyish eyes with glasses. I'm pretty chill. I wear a lot of different aesthetics. I listen indie pop (cavetown,chole moriondo) and pop music but I don't mind metal lmao. I like spontaneous adventures too! but I really like space and stars as well. I like to cuddle and hold hands. if you give me food and head pats I'll love you forever. I have a bad habit of getting emotionally attached to people💀💀. I hope this wasn't to much🤡

HI NONNYYYY I’M SO EXCITED TO GET THIS OUT TO YOUUUU 🥺💖

I am setting you up for a blind date with....

🎀 Mika Yamaka 🎀

I really like the idea of you and Mina together- I feel like you have similar chill vibes.

I feel like she would also love indie and more mellow music too, but she would definitely be down to go to a metal show with you if you ever wanted to because she just loves to spend time with you.

I think Mika’s love language is quality time too- so she would definitely he down for an spontaneous trip anywhere! Just say the word and she’ll be there and ready to go. I went into detail a little about that here too. And she would love nothing more than to cuddle because it makes her feel close to you- She’s also the type to be emotionally invested in a relationship too, so you would always be on the same wavelength with each other.

She would love something chill like a date to a planetarium or even an aquarium. It gives her all of her aesthetic needs(she’s definitely all about the aesthetic) and also they’re more relatively *quiet* spaces where you can talk about everything and nothing at the same time without distraction

Song for your Ship: 3005 by Childish Gambino

ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕗𝕖𝕤𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝔾𝕚𝕣𝕝𝕔𝕣𝕦𝕤𝕙 💌 ��𝕒𝕚𝕤𝕪’𝕤 𝟙𝕜 (open for reqs!)

Event Taglist- message to be added: @angrylittlezizi

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daggerzine · 5 years ago

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Ray Farrell on music and his time at SST, Blast First, Geffen and many more.

Ray Farrell has had a lifetime surrounded by music. First as a fan as a young kid and then eventually working for a series of record labels. He’s obviously a fan first and foremost as you can tell by reading below. It also seemed like he was there at the beginning of some major music scenes happening.

I had met Ray very briefly at one of the A.C. Elks hardcore shows that Ralph Jones put on in Atlantic City in the Summer of 1985 though Ray doesn’t remember it (honestly, a bunch of us were standing in a circle and chatting so I’m not even sure if any proper introductions were done).

Anyway, knowing some of the record labels that Ray had worked for I wanted to hear the whole story. I contacted him and shot him some questions and he was more than happy to elaborate and let us know where he’s been and where he’s going. Take it away, Ray!

Where did you grow up?

RF-Jersey City and Parsippany, New Jersey in the 60/70’s. I have two younger brothers.

What did you listen to first…classic rock or stuff earlier than that?

RF-Rock wasn’t classic yet. My earliest memories of music are my parents’ modest collection of 45’s and grandparents’ 78’s. My mom had a handful of singles on Chess and Satellite (pre-Stax) that she said fell off a truck. We rented our house from a family connected to the mob. The records probably came from them. My mom and her sisters often sang Tin Pan Alley era songs at family gatherings. Harmony was encouraged!

Some records I heard as a toddler stayed with me forever. Lonnie Donegan’s “Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor?” is a skiffle classic. Chuck Berry’s “Guitar Boogie” and “Last Night” by the Mar- Keys are still favorites. I remember being spooked by the overblown production of the “Johnny Cash Sings Hank Williams” e.p. on Sun Records. In the mid 60’s, my mom had top 40 radio on in the house unless my dad was home. When I was in kindergarten, a high school neighbor in our building babysat me for a couple hours after school a few days a week. Her girlfriends came over regularly. They listened to a lot of doo-wop, which I still love today. The babysitter and her friends taught me how to slow dance, even though I wasn’t nearly a full grown boy. J

My best friend in 7th grade was a Beatles fanatic and we immersed ourselves in decoding clues to the “Paul McCartney Is Dead” gimmick. That was a brilliant scam and a fun short term hobby. It was a deep dive into The Beatles music as a junior music detective. By the time I started buying records, The Beatles were on their way out.

I happily lived for many months on only three albums-

CCR’s “Bayou Country”, Iron Butterfly’s “In A Gadda Da Vida” and the Beatles “Sgt. Pepper.” I joined the Columbia Record Club. I got the first twelve albums for one buck. That was a popular scam. Those first twelve records shaped my taste because they were the only records I had. I didn’t know what to order but I chose very well in retrospect. After that, I bought a lot of records. I didn’t smoke, but many of my friends did. A carton of cigs cost the same as an lp- 5 bucks.

I learned in 7th grade that if I knew the songs that girls liked, we would have something to talk about. Girls loved Tommy James and The Shondells and The Rascals. I still do! I had a wider range in music taste than most of my high school friends. Everyone in my extended circle loved the Stones, Neil Young and the Allman Brothers. In a tighter circle we were into David Bowie, Lou Reed, Sparks, Todd Rundgren etc. I loved Mountain, Led Zep, Hendrix, Budgie, The Kinks, Alice Cooper, Sabbath. At first, The Stooges seemed too deep and serious for me. A little scary because I thought if teenagers felt like this all over the world, I’m doomed. I bought the album with “Loose” and played that song for weeks before listening to the rest of it. The girl next door had Iggy’ s “Raw Power” album the week it was released. When glam rock was happening in England, there was a weekly NYC radio show that played the Melody Maker Top 30 singles. I was fascinated by T.Rex, Slade, Hawkwind. I don’t recall if prog rock was a tag yet, I knew that I didn’t like songs that rambled on for more than 7 minutes. There were exceptions of course- some King Crimson, Yes, Mahavishnu. I was impressionable. Radio station WBAI hosted “Free Music Store” concerts with local acts. One show was a keyboard group called Mother Mallard that had banks of synthesizers on stage. They were similar to the music of Phillip Glass and Steve Reich, who you would only hear on that same radio station. I talked myself into buying their records, but it took years to comprehend them. I was too young to be listening to such serious stuff. I played soccer and ran track for a couple years. During meets at other schools, I made friends. At parties I heard Issac Hayes, Bohannon and James Brown records. Brown was all over top 40 radio. Rhythm guitar was my jam! Soul and funk records were best for that. I spent many nights listening to AM radio. The signal travels farther at night, so I’d listen to stations far away. It didn’t matter what kind of music it was. Some of my relatives had short wave radios. I was more interested in radio production than short wave content. The production quality has not changed much since then. It often sounds like broadcasts trapped in the ether for the last 30 years.

While I was in high school, it was common for local colleges to host rock and jazz concerts for low prices, sometimes free. The schools had to spend the money sitting in the student union coffers. There was a live music club in my town called Joint In The Woods. The venue began as a banquet hall that doubled as a meeting hall for Boy Scout Jamborees and the like. When it became the Joint, it was a disco. The first night of live music was a show with Iggy & The Stooges. The regular disco patrons were pissed! The guys were mostly goombah’s in Quiana print shirts and bell bottoms. Three or four guys smacked Iggy around after his set. Sure enough, he played Max’s Kansas City the next night as if nothing happened. Because of this club, touring bands were suddenly playing in my town. Badfinger, Roy Wood’s Wizzard, Muddy Waters. The NY Dolls were scheduled but didn’t show up. Springsteen was often an opening act. The N.J. legal drinking age had just lowered to 18. It was a great time. I was still in school, so I wasn’t staying out on weeknights.

I was determined to learn NYC music history by hitting all the Greenwich Village clubs and talking to the owners and bartenders. It didn’t matter what kind of music they specialized in- I was into the vibe. There were occasional scary nights parking near CB’s or jazz spots in that neighborhood. Folk music was on FM radio at the time. A high school friend booked a local coffee house called Tea & Cheese. Mostly locals and ambitious tri-state artists. Martin Mull, Aztec Two Step, Garland Jeffries. Some of Lou Reed’s touring band, The Tots, played there. I went to all kinds of record stores, mainly those that sold rock imports and cutouts. I was fascinated by the street level buzz of a record. In ’74, I heard dub reggae for the first time. The only stores to get that music were in Queens because there was a strong West Indian community there. It may have been the “Harder They Come” soundtrack that got me started. There was a “pay to play” radio station in Newark - WHBI. DJ’s had to buy their airtime. Arnold “Trinidad” Henry had a weekly show playing new calypso and reggae. He was more into calypso than reggae. A lot of calypso was political and comical. Arnold was fascinating! There was often a personal crisis he’d talk about on the air. My favorite incident was when he said that his life had been threatened during the program, so he locked himself in the studio.. Someone called the cops. They convinced him to unlock the door. He just wanted more airtime. Arnold played the first reggae dub track I’d heard- full dub albums were a new concept at the time. Most dub was found on the flipsides of reggae 45’s. One of the shows sponsors was Chin Randy’s Records in Queens. I trekked out there by train to buy my first dub records. That was a trip! Randy Chin’s family went on to start VP Records.

What was the first alternative/independent music you got into? How did it happen (friends? older siblings?)

RF-The term “punk” as a music style hadn’t been coined yet. I vaguely recall equating “punk” with the great “Nuggets” compilation or something Greg Shaw might have writ in Bomp Magzine. I didn’t identify labels as independent. I knew that if the label design was simple and the address was listed, it was probably a small company. There were plenty of record stores carrying obscure stuff. I bought import records from a few NYC stores. I took the bus in until I was old enough to drive. One store Pantasia, was up in The Bronx. I went there one Christmas eve day to get the import of the second Sadistic Mika Band album. The clerk talked me into buying the harder to find first album as well. He said it sounded like Shel Talmy produced it. I knew who that was and it was a revelation to talk to somebody in a record store at that level. That is what a record store should be! I read Phonograph Record magazine, Bomp and Trouser Press regularly. Patti Smith and Television self released their debut singles- those are the first “indie” records I bought, followed by the first two Pere Ubu singles. I remember hearing the Modern Lovers’ “Roadrunner” from the Bezerkley Chartbusters comp on WFMU and thinking that there must be more music like that. It was refreshing.

Seeing Patti Smith and Television perform at CBGB’s changed my life. I connected the dots. I had BÖC albums on which Patti had co-writes. She had a poem insert in Todd Rundgren’s “A Wizard, A True Star” album. She read a Morrison poem on a Ray Manzarek lp. She wrote for rock music mags with distinctive style. I read a brief story about her in the Voice and went to see her do her annual Rock N’ Rimbaud show. Shortly after that she and Television played CBGB’s for six weekends in early ’75. Both bands were really great. Patti didn’t have a drummer yet. Richard Hell was a big inspiration to me. He looked cool. He played bass like he just picked it up the month before. That was a new concept. Television changed bass players in the middle of the residency. Television was the first band I saw with short hair and they dressed like teenage delinquents circa 1962. The CBGB’s jukebox had a good number of 60’s garage records. In my head I conceived Television to be inspired by that music. Made sense to me- Lenny Kaye, who assembled the “Nuggets” comp, is in the PSG. When I went back to see Television headline, The Ramones opened. Seeing The Ramones again, Talking Heads opened. It seemed like the streak of seeing great new bands would not end. They were distinctly NYC sounds. They could not have merged anywhere else. I remember avoiding the band Suicide because I didn’t think the music could be good J. Bands like Tuff Darts, Mumps and The Marbles opened shows but I wasn’t thrilled by them. A CBGB’s band that doesn’t get mentioned much is Mink DeVille. They wore matching outfits like they were playing a low budget Miami dive in 1962J. The club still had the small corner stage. The p.a. was ok and the bands had small amps. The music wasn’t loud in a “rock” way. You could sit at a table right in front of the band. Although we consider the club a birthplace of punk, the club showcased local bands that had been around for a while. I think the club upgraded the p.a. once before building the big stage. I realized at that point that when a band was great or at least interesting live, the records were basic documents of the band’s sound.

What was your first job in the music scene/industry?

RF- Before realizing I wanted to be in the business, I hounded import mail order guys on the phone about non-lp b-sides and albums that weren’t released stateside. I was fascinated by the process. Why were some records not in stores even though they had local airplay? My dad did not listen to much music, but he had an army buddy that made a living in Al Hirt’s band. He came to our house once. He gave my dad a copy of John Fahey’s “After The Ball” album, which he played on. I liked his stories about the session man side of the business. Fahey treated him well. I was generally shy, but when it came to music I would approach anyone I thought I could learn from. I heard horror stories about the music biz in NYC but learned later that those were a mob related labels. At the time, I thought the entire NYC music biz might be that way. I planned to move to California anyway. In high school, I go-fer’d at local Jersey radio stations and talked my way into meeting a few top FM radio dj’s. I thought I wanted to be a professional dj, but my dad wisely talked me out of that. The itinerant radio jock life would not be for me. It was a racket.

In ’76, I took a long low budget cross country trip with my high school sweetheart. Along the way, I stayed in Memphis for three weeks with a cousin who was stationed at the Millington naval base. Got a job at a hip movie theatre that served liquor. I found Alex Chilton in the phone book and spent an afternoon talking with him. I wasn’t yet legal drinking age in Tennessee. It amused him that a fan showed up in his town who was not old enough to drink. En route to Cali, Tulsa, OK was on my route to find Shelter Records and studio , but it shut down and the label moved to L.A. At the time, Dwight Twilley’s “I’m On Fire” was a radio hit. I didn’t think there were still bands like that. Twilley was from Tulsa, but had moved to L.A. by that time.

When I arrived in L.A. I visited small label record company offices. A few offered me jobs or references. I spent two weeks crashing at the Malibu house of a distant family friend. I didn’t want to live in L.A. but I was encouraged by the opportunities. I got a job at the famous record store- Rather Ripped in Berkeley, CA.

Patti Smith told me about Rather Ripped before I left Jersey. In ’75, she and her band went to California for shows in L.A. and Berkeley. The northern Cali shows were set up by the store. She did a poetry reading there. This is well before “Horses” was released. I bought a couple records from the store’s Dedicated Fool mail order service. They had a monthly catalog on newsprint. Thousands of records in tiny font. Every record was described with a few words. This is 1976 and punk rock was just getting started. I worked as a prep cook in a charcuterie associated with Alice Waters’ famous restaurant Chez Panisse. The proprietor knew the record store owners. I wasn’t actively looking to work there, but I talked about music all day every day. They fast tracked me for an interview. Because of a scheduling mistake, Tom Petty interviewed me for the job. His first album just came out and “American Girl” was close to being a hit single. The band came to the store before a local show. Tom overheard the owner apologizing for not being able to do the interview, so he offered to conduct it. It was great. I knew all about his label, Shelter Records. I deliberately avoided talking about The Ramones and Patti Smith because punk was new and against the grain. At the end of the interview Tom told the owners that if he lived in Berkeley, he’d buy all his records from me. The store owner still had to interview me formally the next day, but I knew that I nailed it.

It was owned by two dynamic gents that were connected to Berkeley society and Bay Area journalists. They weren’t typical record store guys. They celebrated the 70’s in the moment. They held court with well known music scribes, musicians, dj’s. They were good friends of The Residents. Perhaps my strangest story is meeting The Residents with the Rather Ripped owners at a S.F. Irish bar that specialized in Irish Coffee’s. I had only recently heard of the group, so I was not cognizant of their marketing myth. At the bar, we were with our girlfriends and wives. One of the Residents tried to convince me and my gf to go back their place for a hot tub session. I laughed out loud and said “geez, what a bunch of hippies”! We didn’t go. In retrospect, I should have gone on the condition that they wore eyeball heads in the tub. At that time, The Residents rarely performed live, but they did in 1975 for the store’s birthday party. The early Bezerkley Records (Jonathan Richman, Greg Kihn) was distributed to stores through Rather Ripped. Their office was a few blocks away. At the store, each employee had unique music taste and expertise. Pop music was changing rapidly with a new energy. Some of us were tapped into it. We all had to know the key new releases in every genre because we were tastemakers. Major labels would beg us to do window displays for new releases. But if they could not find a store employee that liked that artist, it was no go. So, no Pablo Cruise window display. We weren’t against major labels, but we put a lot of energy into selling the ton of music that we loved. Our focus was on imports, indies, promos and cut outs where we could get a good price mark up. We had a rare record search service with customers all over the world. We’d find rare records through trade-ins and by combing record stores all over the state.

There were a few import distributors, but they weren’t hip to many small run U.S. independent releases. That was understandable because bands didn’t often press enough records for a distributor to get excited about. In other words, why spend half your day hunting down records that were only pressed in small quantities. Just as they start selling, you’re out of stock. There gonna sell a hell of a lot more Scorpions’ picture discs! As always, some distributors financed exclusive re-pressings of records that had momentum. The only way to get records like Roky Erikson’s “Two Headed Dog” single or The Flamin’ Groovies’ “You Tore Me Down” 45 was directly through mail order. I wrote to label addresses listed in Trouser Press and fanzines to buy direct in order to sell them in the store with no competition. Major label sales reps didn’t prioritize us because we didn’t shift bulk units of the hits. However, we were so plugged in to the lesser known artists that we were a good place for record companies to try and start a buzz. We could swell 50-100 of a record that all the other stores sold a handful of. Bands showed up at the store while touring. Springsteen bought Dylan bootlegs from us by mail order. Patti Smith’s manager Jane Friedman used the store as a home base when Patti and John Cale came through the area.

Berkeley is in the East Bay of the S.F. bay area. A few months after starting at Rather Ripped, I realized that the city had a rich music scene well before punk /new wave started. There was Fantasy Records, a well known jazz r&b label but best known for CCR; Arhoolie, Solid Smoke, Metalanguage; the contemp classical labels- Lovely Music and 1750 Arch; folk and blues labels like Takoma and Olivia. Of course, bands like Chrome and others started labels to release their own music. Ralph Records was started by The Residents, and they began signing bands. Rather Ripped was also a center for improv, electronic and meditation records.

In ’77 or ’78 I joined the nascent Maximum Rock N Roll radio team. This was well before the magazine. In the early days there were weeks when we didn’t have enough new punk records to fill the two hour weekly show. Tim Yohannon was all about energetic, real rock n roll, so he filled in the program with records by Gene Vincent, The Sonics etc. BTW, Tim applied green masking tape to the three closed sides of every record he had. He gave me a Mekons double single he decided he didn’t like. It was in a gatefold sleeve that he sealed shut with his green tape! Sometimes he re-designed the cover art…never for the better. He made his own pic sleeves for 45’s that didn’t have them. Bands would stare at their own records in bewilderment. Tim was archiving the records of the entire punk and hardcore movement worldwide.

Eventually, Tim brought in Ruth Schwartz, and Jeff Bale as co-hosts- both great people. Jello Biafra was a frequent guest. Tim assembled the “Not So Quiet On The Western Front” lp and later organized syndication for the radio show. I remember hearing the first Disorder ep and thinking -this is the future! J It was exciting. But soon, most hardcore records sounded alike to me. It was like- “Do you want more fries with your fries?” I went to plenty of live shows without knowing a lot about the bands playing them. I was happy when the fashion trended away from jackboots to sneakers…getting a boot kick to the head in a stage dive could be brutal. I didn’t see a lot of skinhead violence at shows, but I know it was changing the scene.

San Francisco and Berkeley were important music centers, activist meccas as well as creative artistic and intellectual hubs. Yohannon had history as an activist. He identified with public protests for causes & social issues. For many teenagers, punk rock was a rite of passage. I think it changed a lot of kids’ lives for the better. The overriding message was to be civically aware of what is going on around you and what affects your life.

Tell me about your time at Arhoolie Records. Where was it located?

Rather Ripped’s owners had a falling out and the remaining owner just wanted to sell records and antiques with his wife. He moved it to a nearby city. Just before the store closed, he told me of an open position at Back Room Distribution, a division of Arhoolie. It was in El Cerrito, a small town north of Berkeley. Chris Strachwitz, the owner of Arhoolie is a legendary record man. He recorded many of his early blues albums with a tape recorder in his car. He owned the legendary Down Home Music store in the same building. Separated by partition behind the store was Back Room. It was an indie label distributor for blues, folk roots music. Rounder Records was still a new label at the time. I gotta admit, when Rounder issued The Shaggs “Philosophy Of The World’ I was in seventh heaven. I worked primarily for the distributor, grooming to be a sales rep but I spent a lot of time in the store. At first, I didn’t yet relate to blues and country music. But there were a lot of touring artists in those styles making a living. It was a strong network of clubs, fans, radio shows and press that fueled it. The store had an incredible selection of obscure 50’s/60’s rockabilly and garage band comps. The Cramps were my favorite band at the time. The rockabilly comps mostly on a the Dutch White Label, were treasure troves of insane songs. My heart was in new music- whatever you wanna call it, punk, new wave, art music. That’s the business I wanted to be in. I used my time to learn more about distribution operations. The people that worked at Arhoolie and in its community were fun music heads. There were a lot of good musicians among them. It was a great time to live in Berkeley.

What was next, Rough Trade and CD Presents? Was that in San Francisco? I went to that Rough Trade store a few times and it was an amazing store.

I knew folks from Rough Trade UK because I bought imports from them to sell @ Rather Ripped. When they wanted to open in the U.S. they contacted me, but at the time the wage was low and there wasn’t enough space to work. I was interested in working in the distribution division, not the store. They speiled something about it being a socialist business. I stayed at Arhoolie for a little while longer. In the meantime, I was offered my own weekly late night radio show on Pacifica’s KPFA in Berkeley- same station as Maximum Rock N’Roll. I took over a show called “Night Sky”, an ambient music program. My interim program title was “No More Mr. Night Sky” until I settled on “Assassinatin’ Rhythm”. The station’s music director was a contemporary classical composer closely associated with avant -garde and 20th century music. A major segment of my show was for industrial, post-punk and undefinable music. I hosted a few live on- air performances with Z’ev, Slovenly and Angst among others. Negativland’s “Over The Edge” program started on KPFA around this time. KPFA was 100,000 watts of power with affiliate stations covering the Central Valley down to Fresno and Bakersfield.

When the time was right, I moved to Rough Trade’s U.S. distribution company in Berkeley. The record store was in San Francisco. We distributed a lot of British records sent by Rough Trade UK, often in small quantities. Rough Trade US was set up to press and distribute select RT and Factory records by Joy Division, ACR, The Fall, Stiff Little Fingers, Crass. It was cheaper and more effective to press in the U.S and Canada. I also distributed some U.S. labels but there was one Brit on the staff that hated most American music. On top of that, it could be a dangerous place to work. One of the staff was importing reggae records and weed from Jamaica to our warehouse. The local connection was shot on his porch shortly after he picked up a shipment! I was lucky to spend a few days travelling with Mark E.Smith of The Fall. He loved obscure rockabilly and garage band records. I was able to return to Memphis for a while to prep the first Panther Burns album for release. Tony Wilson of Factory put up most of the money to keep RTUS going. He was a brilliant character, but I learned from talking with him how not to conduct business. I often got sample records from bands that wanted distribution. Pell Mell’s “Rhyming Guitars” e.p. was the start of my long association with the band. I enjoyed selling records to stores all over the country. I learned about local scenes, records, fanzines, clubs and college radio stations everywhere. Making these sources connect for touring bands and record sales was exciting. Because Rough Trade is British, we had the benefit of connections with club dj’s. We pressed and promoted New Order’s “Blue Monday” single on a shoestring budget. For a long time, it was the best kept secret from the mainstream. I left Rough Trade for Subterranean Records ( Flipper etc) for a spell while working in a record store. The guy that put up the money for the record store ran guns to Cuba through Mexico. Thankfully, not through the actual store. I booked Cali shows for Panther Burns, The Wipers, Sonic Youth, Whitehouse.

Who owned the CD Presents label? I remember that Avengers compilation.

It was owned by a lawyer, David Ferguson. He had a recording studio as well. I didn’t understand why he wanted to run a label. He did not have an ear for music. But we did release a Tales Of Terror lp! He almost released a DOA album that I thought the band would kill him over. Many years later I got into a fist fight with one of David’s employees in a limo ride shared with Ferguson and Lydia Lunch. We fought through the window separating the driver from the passengers. I would love to recreate that for a film. Good times!

My main role there was to set up the first Billy Bragg record in the U.S. Billy’s manager was the legendary Peter Jenner and both were great to work with. They were using CD Presents as a stepping stone to a major label. In the meantime, I knew a few people at SST. Joe Carducci is an old friend. He was pitching me to move to L.A. and work there, but I resisted for a while. I had just met the woman that I knew would be the love of my life. I didn’t want to move to SoCal. Joe gave me an ultimatum. He sent three advance cassettes that convinced me to go- Meat Puppets’ “Up On The Sun”, Minutemen’s “Double Nickels” and Huskers’ “New Day Rising” That’s an excellent recruiting strategy. I later married the love of my life.

On the side I booked shows for bands I loved. Gerard Cosloy asked me to book Sonic Youth first northern Cali shows. I also booked shows for The Wipers and noise band Whitehouse

Was SST Records next? How long did you last there and what was that like?

I was there for three years. “How long did you last there?” sounds like I was biding my time :) I’m often asked about my time with SST.

Carducci hired me to do PR. That meant publicity, college radio, regional press. Video was a valuable promo tool. MTV’s “120 Minutes” program was a great way to promote our records.

In 1987 we put out more records than Warner Brothers. By that time, I hired people to help.

I’ve done a number of interviews about SST. If you have specific questions, shoot. I recall that my social life was almost entirely with my co-workers and bands on the label. I was nearly oblivious to music from other labels. I was a big fan of Dischord and Homestead. Metallica, COC, Voivod and the Birthday Party/Nick Cave were my non-SST staples.

I think around this time I had met you briefly in NJ at one of the Elks Lodge shows that my old friend Ralph Jones put on. Were you living in NJ at that point or just visiting?

You’ve mentioned that before and I don’t recall the specific show. I moved out of NJ permanently in ’76. I came back for annual summer visits to NYC, north Jersey and Philly. Some high school friends went to Upsala College, then the home of WFMU. On my first visit back in ’76 I met Irwin Chusid and R. Stevie Moore. Some high school friends were connected to Feelies before they took that name.

Was Blast First! next? I met Pat Naylor once and hung out with her at a show and she was really sweet.

Yeah around the time I left SST, the folks in Sonic Youth called saying that they had left as well. They wanted me to be involved with Blast First! in the U.S. I knew Paul Smith because he released their albums in the UK. Blast First UK released a number of Touch N Go and SST records. The label was a division of Mute which had a U.S. deal with Enigma. My job was almost entirely “Daydream Nation” promotion. It was so much fun to be able to go deep with one album. We issued Ciccone Youth shortly afterward, which augmented the overall Sonic Youth story. The only other active touring band was Band Of Susans and on a limited level, Lunachicks and Big Stick. It was only one year of work before Enigma cut Mute/Blast First loose. I went on Sonic Youth’s Soviet Union tour and I had a few memorable meetings with Sun Ra. David Bowie called a few times asking about recording studios that Dino Jr and Sonic Youth used. Bowie had a brilliant idea to record Suicide’s “Dream Baby Dream” with Glenn Branca’s large guitar group. We tried following up on it but Bowie was immersed in Tin Machine and other projects.

Was it on to Geffen then?

Yes, Sonic Youth had good meetings with the label. I had recently met Mark Kates who was championing the signing. He suggested that I come in to meet the entire company. He brought my name up with David who said, “we need someone like that here”.

I had fleeting thoughts that working for a major was “selling out”...punching corporate clock. I wanted to apply what I knew on a larger scale.

What was that like, working for a proper major label? Was David Geffen still involved?

On my second day there, David called me into his office. He is down to earth, street smart. Like many of the best in the biz, he didn’t have an attitude. He had met with the Meat Puppets. He sensed that Dinosaur Jr. was important. I reminded him that I was not hired for a&r.

He said- “I don’t assign job titles. If you find something else you’d like to do here, you can pursue it ‘after 5pm’ ”. I found reissue projects like the Pere Ubu box and Raincoats catalog. I recorded a new Raincoats album. I signed Southern Culture On The Skids, Garrison Starr, Skiploader. I assembled and recorded Rob Zombie’s Halloween Hootenanny comp. With Sonic Youth, I pondered making records with John Fahey and Townes Van Zandt. After ten years, it was time to move on.

Tell us what you do now, didn’t you get involved with digital music at some point?

Geffen Records was folded into Interscope in 1999 and I was bored with the limitations of the business as it was. Digital music was gaining ground solely through illegal file trading on Napster. I knew there would be a major shift in the business moving to digital. I worked for the download site. eMusic.com, signing distribution agreements with labels. This was years before iTunes and YouTube. Major labels would not work with us because mp3 files are open source files that could be traded freely without control. They saw eMusic as a facilitator of illegal file trading. Like marijuana use leading to hard drugs! In the big picture, I knew that digital downloads weren’t “sexy”. But at some point, digital music would develop into something easier to track and use. We skipped the major labels. The bigger independent labels understood that digital music would be the future. It was a great place to be. I knew a lot of music, but I had no idea there were so many labels in every country. One label owner told me that I had the best job in the world. I knew that to explain this new unproven music format it could be an uphill climb. So I took the time to research label websites for song samples. That way I could find common ground with label owners. There’s surf music in Brazil? There’s a young female cellist duo in Prague that make energetic music? There’s archaic royalty rules connected to opera arrangements? Bring it on! It certainly changed how I listen to music.

It was a time when business rules and legal rights had to change in order to deal with digital income disbursement. For example, digital downloads could be sold by the song while royalty payments were based on album sales. eMusic was at the forefront of those changes. When iTunes launched, digital music was “legitimized”. Borne out of eMusic was RoyaltyShare which provides a royalty accounting platform for labels. It is now a division of The Orchard and I divide my time between The Orchard and RoyaltyShare.

Who are some current bands you are into?

A loaded question! I listen to a lot of new music. I spend a lot of time listening to records and cd’s in my collection. Of current artists, I really like Steve Gunn’s music. I listen to the projects involving members of Sonic Youth. Bill Nace, Kim’s partner in Body/Head is a guitar genius. Body/Head’s music is a cathartic experience for me. London is lucky to have Thurston Moore living and working there. I think the music they make separately is far more exciting that what Sonic Youth would’ve made if still together.

Lately I’m digging Melenas from Spain, Hayvenlar Alemi from Turkey. Quin Kirchner is a Chicago based drummer that put out a great jazz record in 2018 called “The Other Side Of Time”. I think he plays on Ryley Walker ‘s records.

Because I’ve spent so much time with the music of Sonic Youth, Branca and Rhys Chatham, I crave the occasional dive into instrumental symphonic guitar army and tonal stuff. Current favorites in that vein are Bosse De Nage, Pelican, Sunn O)))

Given the chance I’ll see any performance by Mary Halvorson, Ches Smith, Marc Ribot or Mary Lattimore.

It took me years to get it, but I’m now a big fan of Keiji Haino’ music. Dean McPhee is a British guitarist I really like. I just bought a couple of Willie Lane lp’s on Feeding Tube.

I research music history and the development of the industry. There are historical and social components of every type of music by culture, country, time period. I love stories about riots at premieres of new avant garde works. I read a book about famous classical composers in the 18th Century playing home concerts (salons) where people are talking the entire time…but they are paid handsomely for the performance. Streaming music sites and YouTube are vast repositories of music and cultural documentation.

Do you still make it out to many shows?

I go to two/three shows a month when I’m home and more when traveling especially NY/London. I start work early in the morning so I’m not out late often. I understand why people see less live music as they get older. I’m done with music festivals. The Big Ears Festival is the only Stateside event that might inspire me to stand for eight hours.

I always hear music by new artists that I really like. I don’t always go to see the live show. Sometimes I hear a new band that sounds like a band I liked 20 years ago. I wouldn’t deliberately see a band that uses another band’s sound as a template.

What are your top 10 desert island discs?

I cannot do 10. It’s 20 or nothing. If you say sorry Ray, it will be nothing. FineJ If I’m on an island, I’ll listen to the ocean waves and sounds of nature. If I’m relegated to a desert, I’ll listen to the blood coarsing through my veins.

Miles Davis- Kind Of Blue

Television- Marquee Moon

Peter Brotzmann- Machine Gun

Sex Pistols -Never Mind The Bollocks

Rolling Stones- Let It Bleed

Soundtrack – The Harder They Come

Billy Harper – Black Saint

Kleenex/Liliput- First Songs

Patti Smith Group -Easter

Hound Dog Taylor & The Houserockers- Houserockin’

Led Zeppelin- Houses Of The Holy

Sonic Youth – Daydream Nation

Elvis Presley- Sun Sessions

The Cramps- Songs The Lord Taught Us

Pell Mell -Flow

Procol Harum- A Salty Dog

Sibelius- Complete Symphonies

Lou Reed -Coney Island Baby

Meat Puppets- Up On The Sun

The Kinks- Kinks Kronikles

“Hmm....Flow or Star City?”

Any final words? Closing comments? Anything you wanted to mention that I didn’t ask.

I’ve been involved off and on with the artist Raymond Pettibon for a music project called Supersession. He has made records under this moniker before. This project began in 1990 and stalled for many years. We revived it a couple years ago. I play bass. Raymond wrote many pages of words and lyrics that he passed to the band, encouraging us to write music behind them. It’s different from Raymond’s other records because it is not improvised. Rick Sepulveda, our guitarist is a great songwriter and he wrote music for Raymond’s words. Rick sings a bunch of the songs because Raymond loves his voice. We did a NYC performance in November that was really fun. So now of course, I’m thinking we should play monthly in L.A. We are nearly finished with the album that we recorded at Casa Hanzo, the San Pedro studio Mike Watt owns with Pete Mazich. Raymond is a brilliant man; fun and inspiring to work with. When I practice with Rick, he’ll often break into a cover song deep in the recess of memory. Like John Cale’s “Hanky Panky Nohow” ,Kevin Ayers’ “Oh Wot A Dream” or the Doors “Wishful Sinful”. We may cover a Harry Toledo song. It’s a blast. I hope to have the album finished in July.

Tav, Bobby, Pell Mell and Ray

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mikvere-blog · 6 years ago

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𝕞𝕚𝕜𝕒𝕖𝕣𝕖 "𝕞𝕚𝕜𝕒" 𝕜𝕠𝕒 𝕓𝕒𝕣𝕔𝕝𝕒𝕪. ➝ INTRO.

↳ ( CLICK for mika’s stats ! )

( vine vc ) what’s up fuckers ! i’m mikey ( the calum hood mascot on the main -- i’m a sucker for consistency ) and this is my newest baby, mika. i thought him up just for this rp and i’m heckin’ excited to write him and to get to know you all ! that being said, pls feel free to hit me up in those yung ims to plot, or on d*scord @ cermet#4735 !

isn’t that mikaere “mika” barclay over there? i heard HE joined faction two after they got back to west ham. it’s funny, ‘cause they were only on the service trip because his mother encouraged him to go to bond with his younger step-siblings. hopefully they fit in there – they’re QUICK-WITTED, but also BROODY. oh, i’m sure they’ll be fine. ( mikey, she/her, 18, pst )

mika was born october 23rd, 1996 in san clemente, california to solana barclay ( nee thompson ) and derrick barclay. at the time, solana was an artist and derrick was the owner of a small sportwear company, and on the side, he coached the san clemente youth soccer league.

pretty much from the moment he could walk, he was thrown into soccer and sort of unintentionally fell in love with it. while most of the other kids were clueless on the field or cried whenever they fell, mika was faking them out and shooting goal after goal. the only time mika cried was when the games were over, or worse, if his team lost.

as expected, most of his childhood revolved around soccer -- all of his friends were from soccer, he was always away on weekends on soccer trips, etc etc. he’s pretty much been a star player from the very beginning.

honestly, not much has visibly changed about him since then ! he’s matured quite a bit, and in high school he had to find a balance between school and soccer, but for the most part he’s stayed out of trouble.

except that’s not entirely true. behind closed doors, his family was beginning to fall apart. unbeknownst to mika until his early teens, his father couldn’t seem to keep himself from having affair after affair, and his mother kept on forgiving him time and time again. when mika wasn’t around, they’d have explosive fights, and when he was around, they’d try to keep their voices down ( oblivious to the fact that mika was usually listening from around the corner ).

mika threw himself even further into sports. it was his only escape, really -- he and his father had never been super close ( his dad only ever seemed to care about him when he won a game or won an award; otherwise, he was relatively detached from the family ), and his mother was too kind and softspoken to teach him how to deal with his anger. he resorted to unleashing it on the ball.

when mika was sixteen, his parents finally decided to split, and it was NASTY. his father moved out months before the divorce was even put into motion. mika rarely saw him, when he did see him, he was usually angry and drunk. his mother did her best to raise him herself and act as both a father & mother figure -- but with only one line of income, it was incredibly difficult. as she had to work more to support them, mika saw her less and less and spent more time home alone than not. mika will never blame her for that, but it was one of the hardest years of his life.

then solana met somebody new -- mika’s stepfather. he lived in kansas ( or as mika liked to call it at the time, the middle of buttfuck nowhere ) but would come out to california every so often for work, and those visits became more frequent as he and his mother began dating. soon enough, solana made the best decision she could think to make -- to move to kansas with mika to marry his step-father, who had two kids of his own.

mika HATED IT. he was angrier than he’d ever been when she broke the news. his relationship with his mother disintegrated, but he didn’t have a choice -- he begrudgingly moved to west ham and vowed he was going to get the fuck out of there as soon as he possibly could.

and he did. weeks after high school graduation, he shipped off a few states over to attend indiana university on a full-ride soccer scholarship, majoring in applied health & fitness with a minor in sports therapy.

he’s a senior in college now, and a star forward for the IU hoosiers.

after a debilitating knee injury during a soccer game, his coach and physical therapist decided it would be in his best interest to return home and recover for the summer. begrudgingly, he did -- and it’s the first time he’s been home for longer than a few weeks since he left for college.

his mother, attempting to repair their relationship and get him to build a new one with his step-family, encouraged him to go on the service trip with his step siblings. mika hated the idea of it, but decided to go after deciding he missed his mother, and that he owed her this.

which brings us to the present, and, well... now his mother is gone, and he’s pissed at the world again, because if he hadn’t left indiana, none of this would be happening to him.

that’s all i’ve got for mika right now, but here’s some wcs i’d love to have for him !

an ex ( 0/1 ) ➝ this one’s on the main, but i’ll put it here too ! mika and his ex dated when mika first got to west ham. for mika, they were an escape from his whole world being turned upside down. he probably broke up with them when he left for college, claiming he needed to focus on his soccer career.

old friends ( 0/? ) ➝ friends he made in high school who he hasn’t seen in a while ! i imagine mika looks wildly different than he did in high school, so they can be surprised to see him, pissed that he left and cut everybody off, etc etc.

college friends ( 0/? ) ➝ if ur muse just so happens to go to indiana university, mika probably knows them !

and of course, anything else you may think of is more than welcome !! pls hmu for some plots or just to chat, or like this and i’ll come to you !! lemme tell ya, i’m v excited to write with you all !!

#𝕗𝕝𝕪 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕡𝕒𝕡𝕖𝕣; 𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕙𝕚𝕘𝕙 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕖𝕤. ➶ ° ⋆ musings.#apogeeintro #here's my angery boye #v excited to see u all on the dash <3

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years ago

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Skam France season 3, episode 4 reaction

Manon really does come across as Lucas’ deeply invested mom, like if she started leaving educational pamphlets around the flat titled IT’S OKAY TO BE GAY I would not be surprised.

Episode 4

Clip 1 - What the hell, Mika

Manon is telling the flat about her time in London. Lucas seems a bit miffed judging by the look he’s giving her, to be honest. Annoyed that she interrupted his moment with Eliott? Or just perceptive that she’s leaving out pertinent details of her story and things weren’t so great for her? With Noora, she was openly talking about how things had gone wrong with her and William; Manon is hiding whatever happened with Charles and putting on a happy face.

But Mika and Lisa are overjoyed to have her back. The three of them together again, they’ll be so happy! Uh, what a great thing to say in front of your other roommate? Mika, Manon, and Linn are the Three Musketeers and Lucas is like a bug they graciously decided not to squash.

Manon thinks this is a temporary arrangement until Charles returns. Lucas asks when Charles is coming back, Manon says he’s finishing up a project and it’ll be like a week or two. Uh-huh. Probably not the case, but on the surface, she makes it sound very reasonable, things are A-OK in Marlesland.

Mika says Manon can have Lucas’ room. The fuck? Lucas is like similarly surprised and Mika yells at him letting Manon sleep on the sofa, that’s why Lucas isn’t hooking up with girls if that’s how he treats them. Again, the fuck?

Manon says she’s OK sleeping on the couch and Mika hushes her and goes on about how bad she looks as a way to guilt trip Lucas. I’m sure Manon appreciates hearing that she looks like shit. Lucas says something completely sensible, that Mika should give Manon his room then, and Mika is like WHOA SLOW DOWN. It’s only logical that Manon should get her room back, right? Lucas is like, but she left it to me and it’s not even the same flat. Mika is all, this is a family and you’re like a cousin. Lisa adds, a distant cousin. Dude, fuck off, both of you.

Mika and Lisa decide Manon should get Lucas’ room and Manon sits there. Lucas gets up in a huff. The hell did I just watch?

This scene was messy as hell and people were not happy about it!

Previously I had thought it was amusing that Mika and Lisa gave Lucas a hard time, because I assumed it was coming from a place of love. You know, how Eskild made fun of Isak for his room stinking and him being a cranky teenage boy. Maybe Lisa doesn’t care about Lucas as much, and she’s been shown as a very crabby character, much more than Linn, so I don’t expect her to be all warm and fuzzy. But Mika? He sheltered Lucas in S2. We don’t know if it was under the exact same circumstances, but Lucas was crashing at their place, and Mika had to know something was up, because why else would a teenage boy not be living at home? Why would he prefer to sleep in the cellar of someone who’s practically a stranger? And I’m not sure the writer was intending to make this scene come off as harsh as it does. But this scene made me reevaluate my take on Mika and his relationship with Lucas and the whole flat-share dynamic.

I was trying to compare the Isak-Eskild dynamic to the Mika-Lucas dynamic up to this point, through episode 4. Because we might be influenced knowing the Pride clip and other important moments are coming, whereas prior to Pride it’s possible we might have felt less warmth about Isak and Eskild’s relationship. After all, the meatiest stuff about their relationship is still to come - even the backstory about Eskild picking him up in a bar is mentioned first in episode 5. But nah, I feel like Eskild’s whole demeanor is just more nurturing and fond even when he’s teasing Isak even though he and Mika have fairly similar scenes so far in these seasons. When Noora came back, Eskild said that it had been chaotic in the flat, and that Isak was a good kid but lazy. But still ... a good kid! And when Isak pointed out that he was sitting right there, Eskild said there was no need to get jealous, he liked him, too. So, some gentle roasting of Isak, but mingled with affection. Whereas Mika didn’t have anything positive to say about Lucas in this clip, voted to kick him out of his room, and made a clear distinction between the other three and Lucas, with Lucas being the outsider they care less about.

Whatever they intended, it felt really mean. That’s Lucas’ room, not Manon’s. She never even lived in this apartment! It has never been her room! Were they going for some comic relief by having Mika and Lisa decide Lucas is the one to get kicked out of his room, like ha ha, they make him sleep on the couch? I would be a lot less annoyed by that if Mika at least were affectionate about Lucas. I don’t know, joking or making a comment like, “I love you, buddy, but you gotta take one for the team” (or something similar)? It’s the combination of him getting kicked out of his room and them dismissing him as not in the “family” that makes it feel nastier than intended. Because we know Lucas’ backstory. He’s a teenage boy with a father who left and a mother with serious mental health issues, who left home to go sleep in a basement of a near-stranger. He feels abandoned enough as it is. And Mika knows at least part of this history! It feels really fucking insensitive to kick Lucas out of his own room when Lucas is clearly upset about it. For them to call Lucas a “distant cousin” is the worst part, especially when they’re showering Manon with love.

I can absolutely see why perhaps this dynamic was intentional, to highlight Lucas’ detachment and show his distance from everyone. But this doesn’t seem like Lucas’ problem. If we look at Isak, he was distancing himself largely due to his own internal struggles - like he couldn’t tell the truth to his friends, he thought his mom was a lost cause. His personality was very withdrawn and what he presented was fake. Because we followed Isak’s character development, we got to see him learn to reach out to others and be more authentic, and that came with having better relationships. This situation doesn’t seem like Lucas’ fault, though, it seems like the roommates’. So I’m not sure it really works for me, narratively. Maybe the point is that Lucas isn’t being cozy or friendly enough with them? I don’t know if we’ve seen enough of that to make this distinction.

I was kinda wary about Mika at times last season, and was worried that they were going more for comedy with him to the extent of toning down Eskild’s more serious moments, his kindness and nurturing. I came around on him because he was there for Manon after the assault, but now I’m wondering how they’ll handle stuff like the Pride clip. I feel like it won’t seem earned. How Lucas is supposed to open up to someone who sees him as a distant relative rather than a member of the family? Isak was able to open up to Eskild because Eskild treated him with care. I hope they address that distance Lucas feels and have Mika explain that he does think Lucas is great and is glad he’s staying there or whatever.

Adding to this: Mika’s constant needling of Lucas being heterosexual and liking girls is starting to seem even weirder in light of this clip. Like I thought maybe it was him trying to cover for Lucas and act like he didn’t know his big secret. It was a kindness, because surely Mika knows or suspects that Lucas is gay - otherwise how did he find Lucas and hide him last season if it wasn’t a gay bar? We know Emma and Manon told him the gossip? But he seems so callous here that I’m wondering what his motivation is with all the hetero jokes. At a certain point it seems like he’s rubbing it in Lucas’ face, even if it’s not the intent. And that’s another reason why he might seem worse toward Lucas than Eskild was to Isak, because Eskild absolutely did not make hetero jokes about Isak like this, in a way that started to feel aggressive.

Right now I’m just wondering what they’re doing with Mika and the Mika-Lucas dynamic, if they’re going to minimize it or if they’ll replace it with another relationship (like put in Manon or Alex instead) or if they’ll try to strengthen that relationship in the rest of the season.

Clip 2 - Manon’s about to bake Lucas a rainbow cake

In his room Lucas texts Eliott about how last night was nice and if he wants to do anything that afternoon. I like that he takes a moment before he sends it. Eliott replies that yeah, yesterday was nice, which makes Lucas smile. Awww. Something going well for him after getting evicted from his room. But Eliott says he’s busy and they’ll see each other Monday, which is a downer.

However, I want to point out that Even told Isak in the OG equivalent that he had plans with Sonja, after telling Isak in the kitchen that he couldn’t break up with her (attempts to kiss him nonetheless). The scene with Noora and the roommates focused on her talking about how if Wiliam loves her, he’ll choose her, which was a clear parallel to Isak hoping Even will choose him over Sonja, only for Even to choose Sonja (that afternoon, anyway). Which sucked for Isak. By contrast, Eliott did not tell Lucas that he couldn’t break up with Lucille, and in fact said their relationship was ending and that he would like to be in a relationship with someone, “not necessarily a girl.” You know. As subtle as a hurricane. So there is much, much less room for Lucas to doubt that there are any obstacles with Eliott other than the technicality of dumping Lucille (and breaking things off with Chloé). That continues here, because Eliott just says he’s busy. Not with Lucille, just busy, which could mean anything. He might have to go visit his grandparents, he might have promised to go furniture shopping with his mom, he might have plans with another friend to go to fucking Disneyland. It’s a bummer for Lucas but not necessarily a reason for him to doubt that Eliott is really interested. So that tension isn’t as prevalent.

Manon comes in, Lucas resumes packing up his shit. To her credit, Manon says not to bother, she can sleep on the couch. But Lucas says Mika will kill him. Manon is like, it’ll be a few weeks, maybe a month. Oh fuck that. Why doesn’t Manon go stay with any of her other friends? Can’t she crash with Emma? Is she that concerned about putting up a front that everything is fine with her and Charles? Or that much in denial?

Also, did she just go from saying “It’ll be a week or two” to “It’ll be a month at most” within the space of a few hours? Because lol.

For a more optimistic take, especially since at the end of the clip Manon seems grateful and Lucas accepts that, it might be that Lucas feels he owes Manon since she offered her room to him at the end of S2. Which I would totally understand! But I wish it hadn’t come with Mika and Lisa being jerks about it.

Manon asks about that guy last night. Who is he? Totally casual. Lucas says he’s a friend. Who is this friend? Is he new. Totally casual. Manon comes across like a mom wanting to make sure her kid is socializing in kindergarten. Lucas wants to know why she’s asking all these questions. No reason! Totally casual. Lucas, not thrilled with this line of conversation, says if she wants her room back he has to move stuff out of there, so Manon leaves.

Manon clearly suspects that Lucas is gay, which we already knew, and that he and Eliott have a thing, and is trying to nudge him out of the closet, I guess. I do think she really means well and that she’s not asking for that spicy gossip. She probably wants him to know she’s OK with him being gay and trying to show him support when she knows life has been rough for him. It’s just that she needs to take a step back and let this thing unfold on Lucas’ terms. Lucas is obviously not ready to open the closet door. Both she and Mika are making this more stressful on him, I think: Manon is trying to probe him for information on Eliott and his dating life and that makes him defensive, and Mika keeps dropping comments about Lucas being straight which probably frustrates him, as a constant reminder that he’s not.

Clip 3 - Protect Daphne at all costs

Emma ambushes Lucas at his locker. Manon didn’t tell Emma (her BFF) she was returning and Emma is surprised at that, so I think she’s trying to keep her Charles drama to herself. I wonder if there’s a particular reason that she’s not opening up about it, considering that Noora told her friends all about her epic romance with William not being what she thought is was. Does it have more to do with the court case, if they go through with that S4 content? Not wanting anyone to ask questions?

Daphne interrupts them, saying she thinks they got caught (re: the party). The headmaster caught her cleaning up in the morning and the furniture was still pushed to the side, so she said it was because they’re repainting the mural, but the guard still saw students there Friday night and they’re trying to figure out who it was. Emma is like, oh, the guard caught you Friday, that’s why I came back and no one was there. She and Alex were busy fucking in a classroom, lmao.

Some random girls say the party was great to Daphne as they walk by, so oh no, they won’t be able to keep it a secret! Oh my God, did you JUST realize this now. Are you kidding me. Congrats. Teenagers.

Is this going to come back later in the season at all? Because if not, this is gonna feel like a dangling plot thread. Daphne could’ve been like, whew, I think we got away with it, but her anxiety over it and the randos talking about it make it seem like it’s unfinished business. I’m not sure how any of that would fit in with the OG S3 story, so it would have to be a new addition to the plot, if any characters do get caught.

Daphne says at least the common room is popular now, and Eliott offered to repaint the mural. Emma asks who’s Eliott and Lucas looks at her as if scandalized. How can Emma not know the Eliott? I mean, let’s be real, that guy is hard to miss. Lucas offers to help with the mural because, you know, Eliott.

Basile appears down the hall. STAY BACK, DEMON.

Daphne thinks Lucas’ interest in the common room is because he wants to replace her as the head of the project. LMAO, I love that her mind goes there.

Basile waves at Daphne and she gives him the finger. LOVE YOU MY QUEEN. He completely deserves it after he tried to plaster his pelvis against her at the party after she explicitly said she was uninterested in him, you know, that wacky bit of sexual harassment, comedy gold, har har.

Basile says the more Daphne turns him down, the more he likes her. GOD FUCK OFFFFFFF

I might seem over the top with my hatred of him, but I don’t care. Are we really gonna do this shitty dynamic? In 2019? As if this isn’t the most basic textbook representation of male entitlement to women’s attention and rape culture? No means no. Daphne said no. Basile thinks her rejection is enticement rather than respecting it for what it is.

Again, maybe they’re going somewhere with this! Maybe Basile’s ass will get roasted and flambéed over his attitude toward women in a way that finally gets through to him. Maybe he will have character development. We’ve seen plenty of sexist behavior from the boys, but with Basile it crossed a line into physical harassment. The fact that they’ve made one of the protagonist’s friends someone who does not respect a girl’s boundaries really doesn’t sit right with me. It’s like I’m not actually sure they do get how bad Basile’s behavior is, because it’s framed in a way that gives off comic relief vibes. It’s funny because Basile’s a loser and Daphne thinks he’s a loser!

I hope he and Daphne do not happen. Hell no. Just get a Fleshlight, dude, and leave girls alone.

Basile is throwing a party on Saturday and he says his hot cousin will be there, who he has a shot with, Arthur is like WTF, Basile says cousins are OK, and I don’t care if this is meant to be a joke, I’m fucking tired, man. I’m not even gonna feel bad when Lucas ditches him.

Clip 4 - Lucas and Imane on religion

Alexia is telling Imane that Romain got super turned on by seeing Clara at the party and learning Alex is bi, and now he wants a threesome. OK, so he kinda sucks, too, for making his girlfriend’s sexuality about what his penis wants? Considering Basile, Mika, and Romain, I guess they had to throw in some shitty male characters to compensate for Eliott’s greatness.

Meanwhile Lucas is texting with Eliott about the mural. They set up a meeting on Wednesday, which makes Lucas happy. He also gets a text from his mom about seeing the devil leaning on him and to be careful. Creepy shit and not at all what a teenage boy flirting with another guy needs to hear right now. “The devil” being close to him - is the devil homosexuality? Not that his mom would know that, but I’m sure Lucas is taking those words to heart.

After Alex leaves, Lucas asks Imane how she can listen to talk about bisexuality and threesomes, isn’t it against her religion? I’m glad they kept in the text from his mom to demonstrate that it’s what prompted him to ask Imane about religion. A religious character seemingly at ease with bisexuality must seem important to him since he probably fears it’s the opposite of how his mom will be (well, in his case homosexuality).

Imane says yes, bisexuality is against her religion, but it doesn’t prevent her from being friends with someone. Lucas thinks that is hypocritical. Well, although I think Imane probably doesn’t think it’s wrong herself - if she’s like Sana she disagrees with that part of her religion - I don’t care for the “hate the sin, love the sinner” attitude. I don’t think I could be friends with someone who disapproved of such an intrinsic part of me. That’s probably not what they meant, but it gives me those vibes.

Imane says Lucas is friends with Basile, does he approve of the way he speaks about girls and hits on them? Lucas is like … no. Errr, you seem to be pretty chill with it almost all the time, dude. Imane says it’s the same. And look, I get what she’s trying to say, we don’t have to agree with everything about our friends, but holy fuck @ comparing bisexuality to sexual harassment, as if those are equivalent things to tolerate in people.

Lucas is clearly not sold. Imane asks whether he has a problem with Islam. Lucas says he doesn’t have a problem with Islam, Islam has a problem with people. Like, for example, gay people. The dialogue becomes similar to that between Isak and Sana. Lucas says he believes in science, Imane says well according to the theory of evolution, homosexuals are useless for reproduction. Then she brings up conversion therapy, saying that people used machines to shock gay people into supposedly not being gay anymore, and those were created by science, so is his religion any more merciful than his?

There’s something a little off about this scene, in the way that Skam France sometimes is when they copy dialogue from OG. What’s off is that in Skam, Isak started off his rant by challenging religion from an intellectual level - he asked Sana why she was religious because she was smart and the world was progressing, implying that religion is outdated and well, for suckers. That it was illogical for Sana to be religious. That’s why she countered him on an intellectual level as well, pointing out that the science he believed in also was illogical in some ways. He specifically mentioned the theory of evolution as something he believed, which is why Sana uses that example. But Lucas is not attacking Imane’s religion from an intellectual perspective - he’s attacking it from a moral perspective. He’s say Islam has problems with people. He didn’t say anything about religion being illogical and antiquated and Imane being too smart for it, he’s implying that he thinks Islam hurts people. So when she starts talking about homosexuality being incompatible with evolution, it’s actually just a weird tangent she goes on, lmao? That has nothing to do with ... evolution having problems with people, or whatever, I can’t even describe it because it doesn’t make sense. Isak mentioned evolution but he started his argument from the perspective that science was right, before Sana even said anything. Lucas didn’t even bring up science until Imane asked, so comparing religion and science from a logical perspective comes out of nowhere. It’s just there because it was dialogue in the original show.

What does fit the scene better is her bringing up how scientists gave electric shocks to gay people to make them disgusted by gay sex, because that does address the issue from a moral perspective. Lucas says Islam has a problem with gay people, Imane points out that science has also lead to torture and suffering of gay people. It’s not a nice argument but I can at least see how it fits into the discussion by pointing out her Islam isn’t the only thing that condemns gay people, and she’s not wrong that science has also been used to enforce homophobia. They should’ve just cut out the bit about evolution because it doesn’t fit what they were talking about.

Clip 5 - If only this was the single Chloé clip this week

After class, Chloé’s waiting for Lucas, looking happy and cute. She asks Lucas if he wants to do something Wednesday after school and he says he has plans. She suggests a date on Friday, he says he has something with the guys, he can’t just leave them behind. Chloé’s annoyed and wants to know if they’re together or not. She says to call her when he’s interested and walks away. Lmao, so she pulled an Isak in 3.07, when he was frustrated with Even running hot and cold and texting him all “call me when you’ve broken up with your girlfriend.” Except Lucas probably ain’t gonna run to her doorstep.

I think this scene is better in context of the full episode, because when I first saw it, I was like ... what’s the point of this clip except to do an extra round of will-they-won’t-they with Chloé to make him look even worse, like Lucas has multiple chances to end this thing with her and he just strings her along. But in context of the full episode, what Chloé says works with what Eliott does with the mural meeting; he bails on Lucas, and his absence makes Lucas doubt Eliott’s interest. Lucas can’t tell whether he and Eliott have a thing or not, like Chloé can’t tell when Lucas says he’s too busy to hang out with her. Typically when you like someone, you make time to spend with them. The parallel is more obvious when you watch the whole episode and this clip leads directly into Lucas waiting alone for Eliott in the common room. Lucas is doing to Chloé what Eliott is doing to Lucas.

But damn, don’t you wish Lucas just let this flirtation with Chloé die here? She gave you the opportunity, dude! She gave you space!

Clip 6 - Lucas tries his hardest to show Manon he’s not gay

Lucas is waiting for Eliott, who’s not showing. He’s sent him a bunch of texts asking where he is. When someone finally does enter, it’s the girls including Manon. They show her the room. They ask her what she thinks and she’s like “...it’s special!” in the same way that Lucas said Eliott’s dubstep was good. LMAO all these kids keep talking about the common room like it’s a crack den, JFC.

But the girls are cute dancing about renovating the crack den. I laughed at Emma trying to get some life out of Lucas with that lowest of fives.

Lmao, it also kinda makes me laugh that Lucas is like, “I’m waiting for Eliott, he’s the artist,” and Manon is like “Who’s Eliott?” I mean ... he’s the artist, Manon.

I know her question was really “IS THAT THE GUY LUCAS IS SECRETLY DATING?” But damn, if Eliott had shown up, Manon would recognize him from Friday. If her questions to Lucas are awkward, imagine if she directed them at Eliott, too.

Alex says it sucks that Eliott’s in a relationship. Daphne reminds her she’s also in a relationship. Well, better Eliott than the “Bisexual means you want a threesome, right?” guy. Daphne then realizes all of them are in relationships besides her. Imane’s like, excuse me? Daphne clarifies she means all the ones who can be in relationships, Imane stops her from saying something dumb. This exchange is a nice setup for season 4, with the girls not seeing Imane as someone who has crushes or can have relationships like the rest of them.

Lucas leaves, bitter that Eliott ditched. And maybe not overjoyed with the talk of relationships, including how it’s too bad Eliott has a girlfriend. Manon “subtly” follows Lucas out of the room. The girls are reluctant to let her leave them again, it’s cute. (Hey, I’ve got an idea ... if they don’t want to let Manon out of their sight, maybe let her crash at one of your houses?)

She asks if Eliott was the guy from the other night and Lucas wants her to drop it. Fair enough! Though he’s not making it seem less gay but snapping at her not to talk about it. Then Lucas sees Chloé coming and kisses her in front of Manon. He introduces Chloé to Manon as his girl and confirms that date she wanted on Friday. Manon’s like … all right, then.

Lucas, you had your shot, and you blew it. You fucked up, buddy. All just to keep Manon off your back. Word of advice: uncomfortably turning your head while your supposed girlfriend kisses you and emitting a look of “help me” is not going to convince Manon of your interest in this girl.

Again, Manon means well, but she should not be so in his face about his boyfriend. She’s straight, she doesn’t know the coming-out journey personally, she has to let him do so at his own pace. Like she immediately went after him and asked him about Eliott in the school hallway. So no privacy and he was put on the spot (also, she asked when he was in a bad mood because Eliott didn’t show up, although she couldn’t have known that much). She’s like a helicopter parent. Her intentions are certainly not bad, they’re just backing Lucas into the closet further because he feels on guard and defensive when she questions him. It’s not her fault that Lucas chose to kiss Chloé in this scene, that’s his choice, but she was a big reason.

I wasn’t feeling great when this clip dropped, so I missed some of the drama over it, but about the lack of Eliott - I don’t think it was inherently bad that he wasn’t in this scene, I think the biggest problem was that they inexplicably dumped three clips on Monday, which was a very strange decision, pacing-wise. There’s no reason that the Imane clip needed to be on Monday rather than Tuesday, for instance. And in all three of those Monday clips, working on the mural with Eliott was discussed, it was something hyped up, Lucas had plans Wednesday and surely something big would happen. So it definitely felt underwhelming when Wednesday rolled around and this clip wasn’t what we expected. In a way, I do see how it makes you feel what Lucas must be feeling. It’s disappointment. Plus from Lucas’ POV, Eliott has not given him a reason to doubt his interest in him, so this comes as a surprise to Lucas. He’s totally in the dark as to why Eliott didn’t show up. But I also can see the criticisms of the clip, because IMO, there is something a little redundant and unnecessary about what’s happening: there’s an added week of Chloé drama (whereas in OG there was no real drama during the week with Isak and Emma - he was disappointed but she was just cheerfully planning their Halloween costumes) which already happened, Lucas already did the disinterest -> upset Chloé -> Lucas OTT apology/affection -> happy Chloé rodeo last week. Is it going to lead to harsher consequences and retaliation from Chloé later? If not, we didn’t exactly need it.

There’s also the fact that the girl squad is just so much more prevalent in this season than OG S3, and while I’m not opposed to them having a larger role (and I know that was required in S3 by the network), I also think that many of the scenes with them don’t add a ton to the story? Or maybe a scene with them adds something (like the bisexuality conversation last week) but there also just seems to be repeat material that we don’t need - for example, this deal with showing off the room to Manon, the girls having the same discussion about how the mural sucks, all of this really covers the same territory we’ve seen in previous episodes. We know the mural apparently sucks, everyone hates that mural, we don’t need to hear Manon’s opinion, too. We know the common room is apparently hell on earth, we don’t need to go over it again. It wouldn’t be the worst thing except we know Skam France has time restrictions, so every moment should count. And I feel like it’s taking away time from Lucas’ POV, distracting from his emotional state. Lucas is like ... materially involved in this common room project, but his emotional investment in it comes from Eliott, and that’s where these scenes should be focused.

Clip 7 - Lucas’ endless series of bad choices

I had to laugh after the grumbling from the previous day’s clip when people were complaining about no Eliott and too much Chloé, when the first thing we see in this clip is Chloé.

Chloé waits for Lucas after class and gives him a kiss. He looks less than enthused and says she doesn’t have to wait for him. Lmao, this dude is not worth it, Chloé. I know you’re going to suck in your own way soon, but Lucas seems like the most un-fun boyfriend ever in your presence, and he changes personalities more than he changes his underwear, probably. It’s as if he’s sharing his brain with an alien and they trade custody of the body. And the alien is the one who acts nice and wants to kiss and tell you he’s falling for you, Lucas the human could not be more checked out of your budding romance.

AND THEN THERE’S ELIOTT, the people rejoiced

Eliott comes up and asks to speak to Lucas. Lucas’ alien takes over and puts his tentacle arm around Chloé and says sure. Oh my God, Lucas. You dummy. He could not be any more inelegant about chucking Eliott out of the boyfriend zone. Lmao, it’s a little childish but I mean, it sure works because Eliott notices the pointed gesture and does not seem thrilled. Maxence does some solid eye acting in this clip, glancing between Lucas and Chloé.

Eliott says sorry for bailing on Lucas yesterday, he wanted to come but had a problem. It’s presumably something mental-health related, not that Lucas would know at this stage. I don’t think we’ve had any hints about his mental illness yet? Just that he's new to the school, which could be for any number of reasons. He invites Lucas over tomorrow to make up for it, and it sounds like a date, but of course Lucas fucked this up by not talking to Eliott alone. Because Chloé is there, she brings up the date she and Lucas had planned, but suggests they turn it into a double date with Eliott and Lucille. So that’s how that happens. Interesting because in OG, it’s never confirmed but I got the distinct impression that Even planned the pre-drink with Isak, but it was Sonja who invited herself and Emma, turning it into a double date. It seems likely because she probably asked Even about his Halloween plans that weekend, and he couldn’t avoid telling her about the thing on Friday. Or she just found out. That was reinforced by Even’s “party-planner” texts where he seems to be barely concealing his irritation that she’s taken control of the situation just like she takes control of other parts of his life. In retrospect it fits with what we learned about Sonja’s personality. Here it’s Chloé who innocently suggests the double date, like I really do not think she suspected anything weird at all between Lucas and Elliot.

I know people were laughing at Chloé not noticing that Eliott was asking Lucas on a date, but I can’t blame her for not making that assumption, no matter how Lucas and Eliott are looking at each other, when Lucas is trying his goddamn best to keep her thinking he likes her. He just slung an arm around her, that’s an affectionate gesture initiated by him. And this dude gave her a whole speech about how he was falling for her, he passionately kissed her yesterday out of nowhere and introduced her as his girl. He’s leading her on far more than Isak did with Emma.

Also, we can’t tell exactly when that arm around Chloé’s shoulder came down, but it was sometime between Eliott talking about his problem yesterday and Chloé suggesting the double date, so I think Lucas slipped it off her shoulder when he realized Eliott was asking him out.

Predictably, Lucas and Eliott are all muted while Chloé is excited. Chloé kisses Lucas but he looks after Eliott. Dude, you dug this hole yourself.

Clip 8 - Double date

Friday night, the four of them at Eliott’s. Chloé talks to Lucille about binge watching a show and taking time for herself, encouraging Lucille to do the same. Lucas and Eliott are not having a good time, though I think that could be emphasized more in the visuals. We do get Lucille glancing at Eliott drinking and seeming not OK with that.

After Chloé asks whether Eliott and Lucille are the same age, Lucille says Eliott failed his bac last ear, which was RUDE. Why are you volunteering that information to random people? Especially when you know the painful circumstances of why he failed? Like ... he’s in the room with you, and you’re casually throwing it out there without thinking whether it might embarrass him or drudge up bad memories. Or, even worse, she’s pissed that he’s drinking too much and is mentioning it passive-aggressively. Eliott does not seem happy with her doing that, either. (Again, some good reactions from Maxence.)

Chloé: “By a lot?” ALSO RUDE. She at least doesn’t know his background. Eliott says he never went. It’s awkward. He wants to talk about something else. The angry tension between Eliott and Lucille in this scene is even bigger than the sexual tension between Eliott and Lucas.

Adding to that, Lucille tells him he’s drank enough, Eliott says she’s talked enough. Well ... accurate. She says she said it for his own good, Eliott’s snaps at her thinking she needs him, and throws back a retort about him failing his bac but still knowing how to count. She storms off. Maybe I’m the asshole, IDK, but I’m actually on his side here. Not that I condone rude comments from either of them, but she was pretty thoughtless bringing up the bac and I totally understand why he would throw it back at her. But it also makes their relationship seem even more dysfunctional than Even and Sonja’s.

Eliott apologizes to Lucas for having to see that, it’s just that this night isn’t going the way Elliot wanted. Lucas asks how he wanted it to go, Eliott says it’d be just the two of them. Lucas agrees. arghhhhhhblarghhhhhhhh.

Here’s the thing: this exact same sentiment was present in OG Skam, except Skam didn’t need to spell it out for us in dialogue. Like … we got it. We got it from Even’s miserable facial expressions and the fact that he just sat there drinking. We got it from Isak and Even constantly shooting glances at each other while Emma and Sonja carried out on a conversation without them. We got it from the fact that Even asks Isak to leave with him, ditching his girlfriend as they’re both dressed up for a Halloween party in a couple’s costume. We got it from the music as we transition from the pre-drink to the bike ride, Even’s expression of misery transformed into radiant joy, both boys grinning as the lyrics tell us I wanted to be with you alone. It is abundantly clear that the night wasn’t going like how Even and Isak wanted, and they didn’t need to have the characters sit down and tell us that. Show, don’t tell. (Or, I mean ... the Tears for Fears lyrics flat-out tell you, but only after the characters’ mindset was established previously, so that the song just feels right after all that buildup, like a release of tension.)

The feeling at the start of this clip should be enough to communicate to us that Eliott is upset and he had something else in mind. I didn’t get that feeling. Maxence does fine acting but the directing itself could be much sharper to highlight the emotional atmosphere of the scene. If you watch the OG clip, at the beginning, every single shot has either Isak, Even, or both in the frame. When it’s all four of them, Isak and Even are shooting looks at each other while Emma and Sonja talk. Isak is a lot shyer about it and looks away; Even just brazenly stares at Isak, drunk and not giving a fuck. There are lots of closeups of the two of them, especially showing Isak sitting there looking awkward. The conversation between Emma and Sonja is actually background noise in much of the scene to the closeups of the boys, because that’s what it is to them - not something they’re a part of. By contrast, I felt like the way this was filmed, it made the conversation between Chloé and Lucille more of a focus, to the point where Lucas’ reactions were not. Eliott has focus, but Lucas? I didn’t feel like I was in his head. And there are some good things added in this clip, too, such as Lucille’s discomfort with Eliott made more plain, but if the clip was really effective at establishing what the characters were feeling - we don’t need Eliott and Lucas to tell it to us. We’d just feel it.

I really do like much what they’re doing this season. But stuff like this makes the writing weaker, not stronger. It’s like they didn’t trust us to understand exactly what was going through the characters’ minds, based on the acting and directing. No one needed this exchange in OG because it was perfectly clear what was Isak and Even were thinking.

Clip 9 - Polaris

Lucas and Eliott run down the street, and Eliott breaks into ... a forest/park area? Whatever it is, he’s breaking in, and Lucas is following, in the tradition of all Evens and Isaks.

I like the way they shot this opening part, of them walking through the woods in the dark, talking with just their little lights to guide the way. No forced music, just the quiet sounds of the night. I think you can hear thunder or an approaching storm in the background, to build up to the end of the clip. Lucas’ phone runs out of battery and Eliott says he will guide him. Totally not symbolic at all, Eliott with his light helping Lucas through the dark.

Their chemistry is also good, they’re smiling and happy to be with each other but there’s still some tension despite how blatantly upfront they’ve been about their feelings so far, and the conversation gets a little weightier when Eliott says that Lucas is the first person he’s taken here, not even Lucille has been here. It’s still very direct, but there’s something more like the Skam feeling that I enjoy here. Maybe it’s the pacing as they walk, it doesn’t feel rushed, or that this part of the scene focuses on the quiet, the natural atmosphere. It feels more organic than some Skam France scenes have felt in the past.

Eliott shows Lucas their destination and the music kicks in, because Eliott has brought Lucas into his movie. Of course it’s the tunnel out of Polaris. It’s actually very good placement for the music since again, we’re exiting the “real” world, sort of, and entering the movie, similar to how music was used in the pool clip for Evak. I love that Lucas seems stunned because he realizes the significance of where Eliott has taken him. Those butterflies in his stomach must be flapping their wings like crazy, because he knows how the movie ends.

Also, obviously Eliott is shining that light, keeping that imagery present as he leads Lucas. He’s the one spot of light in this darkness.

They run into the tunnel (looks like Eliott grabs his hand) and Eliott shows off the place. It’s his home, which makes sense for a raccoon, tbh. Eliott wants to know if Lucas likes it or if he’s afraid. Lucas says he’s not, but Eliott circles around him, teasing him and asking if he isn’t a little afraid, shining his light on Lucas’ face. Then the light goes out and Lucas is in the dark, and Lucas does seem to get a tiny bit afraid, if only because Eliott disappears. Eliott turns on the light and cackles, a little farther from Lucas.

This is some really great cinematography. Actually, it might be my favorite cinematography in all of Skam France. I’ve been hard on the show because IMO it has some big flaws, but this is just a very good and striking scene. It’s playful, it’s got some tension. We know they’re going to kiss, but they’re building up to it, Eliott’s toying with Lucas (and the viewers). Eliott’s constant movement gives a sense of uneasiness - I wouldn’t go so far as to say creepy, although I can certainly get why others would feel that way, especially when Eliott’s face is lit from below by his flashlight - that’s a really common lighting tactic for horror movies or for villains, because it makes them look more grotesque. I don’t know if we’re supposed to think Eliott is menacing, but maybe there’s a sense of danger here? For Lucas, being alone with a boy he likes, knowing that more could happen between them, and with Eliott’s movement, the element of uncertainty. It feels restless, like something’s brimming inside him, and the distance between them keeps changing: sometimes Eliott is breathing down Lucas’ neck, other times he’s not close enough to touch. Then there’s the light, also moving with Eliott. It feels very visceral.

They laugh and Lucas strides forward toward Eliott, saying he’s not afraid. The symbolism is pretty obvious, Lucas in the dark heading for the light represented by Eliott, Lucas taking turns being bathed in Eliott’s light. Also, the music cuts out whenever Eliott turns off the light, and comes back when he turns the light on, so it’s like the “movie” disappears when Eliott does, because this is his vision.

Eliott turns off the flashlight again, and when he reappears, he’s standing right in front of Lucas. This time Lucas doesn’t just laugh it off, because, you know, Eliott is REALLY close. Close enough to touch. And Eliott is moving in with a little smirk for the kiss. Both of them are lit up, existing in the same world as the movie characters. Lucas has his mouth open for that hot Eliott smooch when Eliott turns off the light (again cutting off the music) and disappears again. What a fucking tease.

It starts pouring rain all of a sudden, just in time for Lucas to be alone in the dark tunnel. Fun scenario! Not creepy at all! But there’s Eliott standing outside the tunnel, getting drenched, looking at Lucas. No light. Lucas walks toward him but he’s still under cover and staying dry, he stops before stepping into the rain. Eliott asks if Lucas is afraid of rain, too. (I really like this scene but is it just me or did they mix some metaphors here ... like it goes from the divide between light and dark to the divide between rain and shelter. It still works in the sense that one character is stepping into the other’s world, though.)

I like Lucas’ reaction to the question, you can see him making a choice in his mind. He holds out his hands - is Eliott thinking to himself, “Wow, he totally saw my movie at this point?” I mean I think he’s probably focusing on being about to kiss Lucas, but this is straight out of the storyboard, so in the aftermath when they’re just lounging in bed or whatever I’d expect him to be like “...were you stalking me online?” Anyway, Eliott laces his fingers with Lucas’, and Lucas starts to smile before launching himself at Eliott. They kiss passionately in the rain.

Going to get out a slight criticism before I mention the positives: I had expressed concern when we saw the storyboards that the kiss was going to play out exactly the same way, and well, I was right. And I think the scene itself is very good! But in a way I do prefer that we didn’t see the storyboards before the kiss, or at least that they didn’t match so closely. I mean, Eliott is even wearing the exact same outfit as the cartoon version of himself. Because actually, this symbolism works completely fine on its one, without walking us through every moment of it? IDK, I think personally if we were watching this scene without the Polaris storyboards, everything would have still come across in terms of symbolism and imagery. There’s light and then there’s dark, there’s Lucas stepping out of the safety of the dry tunnel into the rain with Eliott. We could have worked it out ourselves, much as we did with the 21:21/rebirth imagery. It comes back to maybe not trusting the viewers as much, like with Eliott telling Lucas that he wanted the double date to be just the two of them. Going into the symbolism of this scene is like ... it’s barely even subtext, it’s text, to the point where I feel silly even talking about it. (It’s true that the Evak first kiss also directly mimics the R+J kiss, but I think that still leaves more to the viewers to connect the dots. Polaris itself was so highlighted and explained within the story, whereas with the pool kiss, obviously people were expecting the R+J reference once they got to the pool, but the setup is more subtle. Isak is watching R+J and we briefly see the pool kiss scene, but it’s not like … the primary point of what he’s watching, it’s just one moment that’s on screen for a second, along with several other clips, with the main focus Isak’s reactions as he watches. This is more like if Isak watched R+J but we saw him watching the entire pool scene and only that.)

THAT BEING SAID: this is still a beautiful scene. The music is really good, actually, it falls into that dreamy-creepy vibe so it’s adding some tension in the tunnel, but it’s also romantic enough for a first kiss. The build-up was very strong and even though these two have been very blatant with each other about being into each other, still created some tension as to exactly when the kiss would happen. I was fully expecting the Polaris recreation but there was also a point where I thought they would kiss in the tunnel (and they almost did).

Again, Lucas’ reactions were very good. He showed the right combination of emotions leading up to the kiss. Also - and this is really important - this kiss scene was not rushed. That’s my big problem with a lot of Skam France clips, that they fly through them without taking the time to let the emotions develop or resonate (and I know there are time restrictions) but this one had good pacing. It let the moment build and allowed us to step into Lucas’ head, I could see him going from nervous and hesitant to taking those small steps to step into Eliott’s world and kiss him, to the urgency of the kiss itself.

The kiss itself is enthusiastic, to say the least, lol. I’m weak for Lucas tilting his head back and Eliott holding his face as they kiss. But the best part is actually their happiness. I love how they smile at each other and how Eliott turns his face to the sky in joy at the end, right before the hug. The hug!!! Great, tender moment. I felt the relief and jubilation from the characters.

Additionally, I said this before when we first heard about Polaris, but big props to Skam France for doing their own version of the first kiss and putting their own imagery and symbolism into it.

Social Media/General Comments

Lucas had an IG story of him packing up his stuff after he got kicked out of his room, so you know, that’s a wonderful thing for a kid who had to leave home to have to do again.

Daphne wised up (too late) and told everyone to delete their social media about the party. Were any pics actually deleted on the characters’ IGs? It looks like it, but Basile still has one of the boys in their costumes at the party, with the caption thanking Daphne. LMAO GOD what if this dumbass gets Daphne in trouble, I don’t think it will happen but it would not surprise me.

Lucas sucks up to Daphne by being like, I deleted the pics! Keep me updated about re-painting the mural! He emphasizes that he’s most interested in repainting the mural. Subtle! Although Daphne doesn’t seem to notice his desperation because she’s too concerned about Lucas trying to usurp her as head of the common room. She says she needs to check with Eliott and he plays it cool. Lol, I can’t wait for them to paint that mural and it being even uglier than the first one because Lucas kept fucking it up by drooling at Eliott instead of concentrating.

Imane posts a Maya Angelou quote after her talk with Lucas. “I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.” Hint hint, biology partners who might want to judge her for her religion.

Then there was the whole shitshow with the boy squad ranking girls on IG. OK … I’m not going to cancel them, but it IS fucking gross. I would be more tempted to cancel them if it were not called out by the girls directly afterwards, or if it weren’t intended to be something gross, like just a funny Boys Will Be Boys thing.

Especially since most of these guys (except Basile) are saying Daphne isn’t even in the top 20. FUCK OFF, WITH YOUR BAD TASTE, LOSERS.

But really, the fuck is wrong with them? The thing is that they’re not just ranking girls vaguely, alluding to them (like “the hot blonde” or whatever) which would still be gross. They’re naming these girls! We know who most of them are! And the girls they are naming are their friends, or at least people they’re friendly with? So disgusting. Why would you post this? I said I wasn’t going to cancel them but it’s actually hard to come back from this because it’s so pointedly cruel. Like Yann saying Manon is annoying because she cries too much, and the boys ranking Alexia outrageously low. I’m sure Manon loved that and it didn’t make things awkward in the flat. I mean I kinda feel less bad for Lucas having to crash on the couch, lmao, I hope Manon slept soundly in Lucas’ bed that night.

The girls retaliated by posting their own IGs and lol, don’t even tell me they’re just as bad, because they responded to a very personal sort of bullying (I mean, that’s what it was, bullying) and called out the boys’ bad behavior. They said Eliott was number 1, which is not wrong.

Gotta say, the boy squad is pretty bad. I know they’ll turn around in the second half of the season, but there’s just little endearing about them so far. Basile is a complete disaster, we know nothing about Arthur, and Yann has not been served well this season. Two of Jonas’ key scenes - calling out Isak’s comment about the dance instructor and asking him about the neon pre-drink after Even helped Isak get his locker open - have been removed or diluted. The calling out was pretty weak and spread among the whole squad, and we didn’t get the second scene at all. There was a great scene at the beginning of episode 3 with Yann and Lucas, and a great follow-up text message, but overall I get less of a sense that Yann is noticing Lucas’ strange behavior or that he’s concerned for it.

I know that they were required to keep the girl squad around in this season, and I get it, and I can’t say that I don’t drastically prefer them to the boys at this point. I like them a hundred times better. But I also wonder if characters like Yann and maybe Arthur would get more development if the girl squad didn’t have so many scenes. I hate to say that, but a character like Yann is supposed to be Lucas’ BFF, and yet I feel that friendship is getting overshadowed by so many things. I know more about the common room and Basile’s dick than that relationship this season.

Also? Moving on to episode 5, why the utter fuck would the girls even bother going to Basile’s party after the boys pulled this stunt? It’s not even a week later, and the boys trashed several members of the girl squad by name. Did they really think yeah, these are the assholes we want to party with? Not to mention Basile also creeps out Daphne.

Emma looks bored as hell watching Raptor Alex watch basketball. Perhaps a sign that relationship is not going to work on a level other than physical.

Eliott and Lucas get in some jabs at their girlfriends when Eliott texts that Lucille’s super down for the double date and Lucas responds with a cheesy picture of two smiling straight couples at a bowling alley. Lmao, I would kill to see that happen in a remake? An Isak and Even who get roped into bowling with the girls and then ditch them at the bowling alley. They don’t even take off their bowling shoes so they’re running awkwardly and end up getting banned from the bowling alley.

A fandom sleuth figured out that “Polaris” encrypted through the Caesar code, as hinted by the enter_polaris IG, is Eliott’s real Instagram (”srodulv), well done! On that IG Eliott has the following pictures (among others):

Eliott and Lucille as a cartoon raccoon and cat - his first furry romance

a drawing of a chocolate bar with “chelou” (weird) on the wrapper, posted after his first talk with Lucas

piano keys with the word “surprenant” (surprising), posted after Lucas played piano for him

my favorite, a picture of Oreo, the raccoon who was the inspiration for Rocket Raccoon in the Guardians of the Galaxy films, who passed away recently - RIP Oreo, respect to Eliott for honoring his raccoon brethren

a brain in a jar that says “lost & found” from perhaps when he had a bad mental health day

a man underwater (sick Skam reference, bro) (but also, probably another mental health reference)

his raccoon fursona trapped in darkness - he was really struggling this week

a Betty Boop cartoon that seems to imply Lucille is a witch at his back?? and he’s not looking forward to the double date. also features a “mystery cave”

That miserable looking IG pic of the double date and Lucas’ reaction to Chloé’s kiss … sums up the level of enthusiasm he had, I guess!

Chloé texts Lucas after he and Eliott run off and says Eliott has a big problem, poor Lucille. There was some talk about whether Lucille told Chloé about Eliott’s mental illness and that’s what she meant, but personally I just took it as Chloé thinking Eliott was a jerk after telling Lucille to stop telling him what to do and making her stomp off to the bathroom, and then ditching her. And “poor Lucille” was just in reaction to thinking Lucille had to put up with her boyfriend being a jerk, not anything mental illness related. (Tbh if Lucille did tell Chloé … she’s a huge asshole for revealing that sensitive information about Eliott to someone who’s almost a stranger, although I suppose it’s in line with her casually dropping he failed his bac?)

I think Lucas and Eliott have good chemistry, but something about the directing is not as conducive to the chemistry as it could be. It’s not bad - like I said, they’re good together - just that with better directing it would make even more of an impact. Might have to do with timing and rushing scenes, or just allowing them to react more to each other.

I’m wondering if they’re doing this Manon plot and kicking Lucas out of his room so he can go live with Eliott at the end of the season. Which… I think is kinda dumb, tbh, because I’m 90% certain they’re going to start Season 4 like right after S3 ends, not more than a week or two later. At least with Isak and Even there were several months of them dating before they moved in together, and Even had lots of time to bounce back from his depressive episode. I guess Lucas doesn’t have much of a “family” in the flat with Mika and Lisa, which is depressing, but I mean, if you think Isak and Even moved in together too quickly? Lucas and Eliott will have barely any time really being together before they take that step, and it will be right after a very tumultuous period for them.

Also, you can’t tell me that Isak moved out because he felt like he didn’t belong there anymore, or that Eskild and Linn wanted Noora there more than Isak and made it known to him. Like of course this is just headcanon, but I feel pretty sure that it was Isak’s (or Isak and Even’s) decision to move out since the flat was so crowded. I also think that Eskild would have kept his stray godkitten under his roof as long as possible if that was what Isak wanted, and they would’ve just dealt with it being crowded. I mean, he was asking William to move in at the end of S4, and we know Eskild doesn’t even like William much, lmao. He definitely likes Isak more than William, I think he’d be fine with him staying. With Lucas moving out, it’d feel more depressing, like maybe he just didn’t feel welcome in the flat. I guess it’d be positive for Lucas to be making a new home with Eliott, but still, it feels unnecessary. (I also think the Manon plot is also unnecessary, probably, but we’ll see where they go with it.)

I’m not French so please feel free to let me know if there are any translation or cultural issues that I missed.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#skamfr reactions #skam france reactions

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frailesea · 6 years ago

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META LORE : tsutsuji hinaki. / alair & yinae.

HINAKI HAS BEEN through countless cycles of timelines. she’s lost count of the many times she’s shifted, & she’s much older than anyone would think to even produce a thought of. before she’d even met briar & mika, she’d already shifted so many times --- she doesn’t need to keep count. hinaki had continued to be a free spirit, & she forms bonds easily with others. this doesn’t prevent her from leaving timelines if she is endangered, even with bonds deemed deeper than casual, because her duty is to keep herself from dying.

ALAIR : the first. the blood king.

ALAIR HAD BEEN a man who became king that’d watched hinaki intently, one who couldn’t wrap his head around who she was & where she came from. because she seemed to appear out of thin air & mingled appropriately, socially beaming & someone precious to those she’d impacted. for hinaki, this was relatively soon ( not really, but compared to the time she’s been time shifting... ) to the time she began time shifting. so she didn’t have as much experience to differing timeline ‘ etiquette ’. she interacted without any qualms or discrimination ; since she had already timeline jumped quite a few times, she was confident with her presence being easily erased. she didn’t see herself making any specific precautions.

AT FIRST, HER presence to alair has been as previous mentioned, as well as a thorn in his side ( as all else had quite clearly been. ). but she was a new air, & as much as he pushed, she didn’t budge much from her position she decided herself to be in. she was a light, & then, she became one to him. consistently bright & causing others to catch onto her contagious radiance, including himself, alair had decided to court her & then marry her ( an outrage to his related family because of her less than known origin. ). this was even brought up by hinaki, & he deemed it a fact that did not matter so much to him. they weren’t atypical as a couple, & he did love her. she did love him. they were a lovely, level -- headed couple as well as duo of decision makers.

THEY HAD BEEN married for 7 years ( knowing once another for 11. ) & had 1 child. that child was 5 when hinaki had to timeline shift to keep herself & that timeline safe from being destroyed by plane insurgency pirates that’d appeared based on her stay in the timeline. she left her husband & child. not that hinaki would be aware, but he & her son lived on, thinking that hinaki had been taken as ransom & killed ( when it had been known she went missing, there was a ruse to say she’d been taken for ransom. the ruse died midway, but that caused many to believe she died from those who had been thought to have taken her. they never found who rose the ruse. ).

YINAE : the second. man of rose breath.

BY THE TIME she’d entered this timeline, she had time shifted many, many times prior. she’d been much more experienced. there’d been many ‘ years ’ in between from the time she’d left her previous family ( i say that in quotations because she doesn’t quite recognize time as an official standard, considering she could be here or there or anywhere at anytime if the all deciding universe permitted her to. ). she’s still as bright & smiley, but she’s much more careful than she had been before. she ensures that the mystery around her is much more subtle, & she ensures that those who are impacted by her are impacted in much more subtle ways that could be swept under the rug in a few untouched years.

SHE MEETS YINAE while at the bi -- annual market for foreign traders who sell their goods at a fixed location. while the youngest son of the king & queen had been looking at fabrics & scents, he finds a particular item in rarity. however, hinaki is the one to purchase that item out of pure curiosity & a spur of the moment. yinae & hinaki becomes friends of some sort after he attempts to take the item from her, & after a year, she’s considered much closer than many who he knows. the charismatic prince, while it is obvious some of his oldest brothers have much more probability & capability of inheriting the throne, is already one of high standing in resources & connections. he is aware of a developing fondness of hinaki, & just a month after the 1 year anniversary of their friendship, he proposes to her. it took a while to make the decision, but she accepted the marriage.

3 YEARS AFTER their marriage, they have twin daughters. a year after that, they have a son. 5 years after their marriage, she tells him that she is a timeline bride. she tells him of her responsibilities & duties. she tells him of everything, & he understands ( after a jarring argument of the timing of her reveal. ). their marriage has been for 14 years when she has to leave. under the circumstances, it is thought that she’d died while she & her husband had been taking a trip to one of his brothers because that is around the time she disappeared. they’d became lost & stranded, which is true of yinae. for days, he had been lost & stranded after they & their staff deviated from the original path ( after hinaki had time shifted on their trip, which yinae was aware of. ). yinae married again, but he never did find someone that he loved as much as hinaki in anyone else than the children they had.

#❪ ❁｡：tsutsuji hinaki. ❫ — ° ≡ meta lore.#a read more bc it gets long JDSAKALSD #BUT !!!!!!!#these are her ex husbands JASDKLADSshe's had kids before #when she meets briar he basically becomes her son <3 AJDSKSDA #BUT ANYWAY YES!!!!!!!!!!#shes only married royalty............does that say smth abt her????? idk HDSJSDAKDS #theyre rlly the only ones who's wooed her.......or rlly tried to woo her bc of her association to them #ANYWAY acknowledge me . JDSKLASD

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magneto-suggestion-blog · 6 years ago

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Tag Game

//I was tagged by @nomadsuggestions and thank you so much! and also I will copy your entire lay-out for this becaues it seems practical.

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better!

Nicknames: Too many to count. Usually “Magnet” followed by a Relationship-Determiner or Fetish-Determiner in the case of Wade Wilson. Or Swagneto. Gandalf. @nebula-suggestions has apparently decided that my Name is Toot-Toot McBumbersnazzle which I’m very sure is the Name of the strange Doctor but there you go. //Josie and all kinds of variations of it

Gender: Male. //(Cis) Female

Zodiac: No. //Leo, but I don’t know any details about anything astrology related.

Height: 1,87m //1.78m

Time: Too little. //6:33pm as I write this, probably later as I post it.

Favorite bands/solo artists: You wouldn’t know them. //I’m just a huge stan for David Bowie, Queen, The Clash and the like?

Song stuck in my head: One very aptly named: Can’t Get You Out Of My Head. (But usually, whenever I take my Helmet of, whatever is stuck in Charles’ head. I swear he does it in Purpose) //None at the moment? I’m highly suspicious. Last one was Lollipop by Mika this morning.

Last movie I saw: A horrible Rom-Com just because it came up. Not that I frequently watch Rom-Coms or have deep Thoughts about the: Human Man telling Mutant Girl whom he knows for three Days that it is very much okay that she has Wings or Glitter erupts around her when she smiles and she stops wearing her Image Inducer on his Word while the mean, not sapiens-passing relative/side-Love Interest/Friend turns out to be the Villain of the Story and is undeserving of Love-trope //What We Do In The Shadows. (again)

Last show I watched: I do not watch “Shows” //He’s lying, he watched Queer Eye just as I did.

Last thing I googled: “President Tweet Mutant Slur” //I googled for the calender of my university to see when my holidays start

Other blogs: // @jotunlokisuggestion, my main @langernameohnebedeutung and another more...mythological suggestion-blog. That’s not Marvel but does spy on you.

Do you get asks: Yes. //Could be more :)?

Why I chose my username: Because I’m Magneto, Master of Magnetism, and I have at several Points made Suggestions. //I love Magneto.

Following: Back. //I follow suggestion-blogs back that follow me and also people I’m really interested in interacting with, but that doesn’t mean I’m not interested in interacting with you if I don’t follow you or am against it, you can hmu whether you’re following me or not or whether I’m following you or not, I’m always happy about it.

Average amount of sleep: There is no Average. //Sadly, Magneto is right.

Lucky number: Has yet to reveal itself. //13

What I’m wearing: Light Summer Armour and a Helmet. //I’m...not...strictly speaking. nothing at all. (I just got out of the shower ok)

Dream job: I think that in a perfect World I would have kept my Father’s Shop alive but alas. This is no perfect World. //I’m studying to be a teacher.

Dream trip: The Past. There are Things that I left unsaid. //I would really love to boat around Scandinavia.

Favorite food: A simple Cholent as my Mother used to prepare it for us with Kishke. //My Grandma’s Greek Spinach roll, hands down!

Play an instrument: Yes. //the recorder. I’m really not good at music.

Nationality: Genoshan-Israeli. I had others, but most rejected me, I rejected most and in many Cases it’s mutual. //German

Favorite songs: This shall remain unanswered. //Ra-Ra Rasputin, Lover of the Russian Queen...There was a cat that really was gone~

Tagging: //Please feel free whoever would like!

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pearls-langs · 6 years ago

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About Me Tag

Rules: Answer these questions then tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better

Thanks @blognlang for tagging me!

Nickname: None

Zodiac: Taurus

Height: 170cm

Time: 19:40 pm

Favourite band/artists: Panic! at the Disco, Fall Out Boy, Lana del Rey, Hayley Kiyoko, Mika, Kesha... probably many more I can’t remember right now

Song stuck in my head: Leef by André Hazes Jr

Last movie I saw: uhhh... the avengers?

Last thing I googled: some spanish translations

Other blogs: @littleweepingdalek

Do I get asks: no, but i’m relatively new and don’t interact that much :’D

Why did I choose my username: my name’s pearl and i’m trying to learn those languages..

Following: 68

Average amount of sleep: 7-8 hours

Lucky number: 12

What I’m wearing: a white shirt with ladybugs on it!!

Dream job: teacher

Dream trip: Latin America, Iceland, some places in Germany (Schloss Neuschwanstein!)

Favourite food: Spinach

Play any instruments: Nope.

Hair colour: A dyed red

Eye colour: Green

Most iconic song: There is a lot of iconic stuff out there. And a lot of silly stuff. Some are a bit of both. I like all of them. I’ll say “Hollywood Hills” simply for the memories and the fact that I can still sing every single word.

Languages you speak: German and English, I guess my Spanish is ok but definitely needs a lot of improvement, I can still read and understand easier French stuff, but I can’t speak it, and like five sentences Dutch

Random fact: I cannot go a month without having at least one plan to reorganize my bookshelf. I should stop, though. There is not enough space and my attempts at making it look fancier are not helping with that.

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: the smell of books, globes, silly jokes, ice tea, clocks, old-timey things, plaid, fancy words, purple, blue and green,

I tag @langblrspace and whoever else wishes to do it!

#tag game

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amadeyus · 7 years ago

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30 questions (LONG POST)

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 10 people

Tagged by @ginevraslovegood , thank you <333 bahdude

tagging: @themusicalbookworm , @hushpiper , @trash-god , @kittychako , @omeinfreund , @tserpillum , @quietcelt, @lindowyn, @xleviiiix, @erensjaegerbombs

# following: 202

# of followers: >10 :))))) i like to keep it a zekecret on the tumblosphere but if we’re mutuals/we’ve talked before i can tell u in DMs if you’re really curious

average hours of sleep: uhhh honestly i think it’s anywhere from like 6-10 hours (although i try to aim for 7-8 hours)

lucky number: i feel like it’s 4 (i found out in grade 3 that it was 4 where you had to like add up certain numbers together and I FORGOT THE PROCEDURE but it’s shaped a lot of my thoughts/perspectives) even though 4 in chinese it sounds similar to the word for death (四 sounds really similar to 死; same pronounciation different tone) so idk man

instruments: when i was younger i played the guitar and piano but then in grade 9 i realized the performance arts isn’t really my thing and ever since i’ve been specializing in the visual arts (art™) and in applied arts (design)

what are you wearing: a white to black gradient shirt with a forest image + jeans cause im cold

dream job: to be an industrial designer while having 1) a good work/life balance 2) professional and personal fulfillment 3) to be able to make meaningful and helpful work and 4) to like the work i make

(if that doesn’t work out i have a contingency plan to become a motion graphics animator because i also like animation and it’s another creative career that pays relatively well)

dream trip: tbh any country with good food, clean air, nice scenery (and preferrably with some design background too) would be nice - i’d like to go to amsterdam someday for those reasons

birthday: jan 11 (so triple 1s ayyyyy and also todoroki shouto’s bday)

height: same height as jean kirstein pre-time skip (idk about his post-time skip height tho)

gender/pronouns: i’ve gone by she/her my entire life but i’m also a-okay with they/them pronouns if you don’t remember

other blogs: hooo boiiii here they are:

photoshopshit (a photoshop resources & tutorial blog)

fyshingeki (an snk fansite blog)

lonekorra (my atla/lok side blog; abandoned indefinitely)

surveyedcorps (my snk side blog; abandoned indefinitely)

momoweek (a side blog for yaoyorozu momo week; COMING SOON AND STAY TUNED :)))

nicknames: my tol hs friend and i call each other tree bc tolness

star sign: i’m a caprisun capricorn

time: 6:51pm

favorite bands: bastille, florence + the machine (they aRE a band righttt), fall out boy, imagine dragons, onerepublic, kalafina, ling tosite sigure

favorite artist: sia, p!nk, aimer, mika kobayashi

favorite tumblr artist: for visual art, i really love works by @drinkyourfuckingmilk , @alemanriq , and @lolakasa <- all these artists draw quality snk art and i love their styles and how they draw facial expressions in general. for performance artist im love @themusicalbookworm gio’s stuff bc she writes songs about characters/ships for fmab/bnha (and sometimes snk) and how cool is that omg (i especially love her song about momo called stardust veins)

song stuck in your head: the bnha ost that played during momo’s and shouto’s final exam and in other scenes but it’s real nice it’s called the threat of offense and defense i recommend listening

last movie you watched: COCO

last show you watched: m a n i don’t even remember what show i watched the last time, i think maybe orphan black s5? since i finished the series

why did you make your blog: originally my friend was like you should join! and bc my smol self was ignorant i said okay and it started out as like..... an aesthetic blog?? (i don’t even know if it’s considered that but i just reblogged a buncha things that looked visually nice...like watermelons) and then when i was introduced to the fandom part of the tumblosphere, i became a YA-lit/TV shows multifandom blog + ATLA (im love atla), THEN IN GRADE 9 I WATCHED SNK and i lived to see myself become a multifandom anime blog that’s mostly snk

what do you post: mostly snk, atla/lok, fmab, bnha and misc non fandom stuffs (and also lotsa snk gfx and animations for original content™)

last thing you googled: “manic episode” because i wanted to know what it was called in chinese

ao3: surveyedcorps (i don’t write, but that’s my account so you’ll see me liking/bookmarking/subscribing as that url)

do you ever get asks: sometimes haha

how did you get the idea for your url: ok so since getting one word canon urls are a rat race, i was brainstorming a bunch of canon urls that might be available. and since places are less likely to be taken (shiganshina and trostdistrict were taken iirc), i was like oooh stohessdistrict is the place of focus for some episodes/chapters and voila it has become my current url

favorite food: SO MANY but across the board (no matter the cuisine/preparation) i love noodles a lot. so tbh i would choose like yunnan cold noodles at this restaurant i frequent bc im love it so m u c h

last book you read: my driving theory book

top 3 fictional universes: i’m really intrigued by/invested in the ATLA/LOK, BNHA, and SNK universes

#shouting into oblivion #tag game #this was super long and from a real long time ago sorry kira #but these were interesting to answer

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lemon-drop-writings · 7 years ago

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Roller Rink Romance [Reddie (Richie/Eddie)]

Summary: The Losers Club goes to a roller rink for the day. Richie and Eddie have each been dealing with a mixture of confusing feelings towards each other for some time now. Stan and Bill take it upon themselves to help the two realize how they feel.

Word Count: 3137

A/N This is my first time actually completely finishing a fanfiction, let alone posting it, so I really hope whoever’s reading likes what they read!

Song List: *Bold are mentioned in the fic

Mr. Brightside - The Killers Origin of Love - MIKA All Star - Smash Mouth Irresistible - Fall Out Boy C’mon - Ke$ha True - Spandau Ballet

Richie stepped into the roller rink, the lights and sounds engulfing his senses as the group wandered over to the rental booth. They each carried a small red ticket in their hands, giving them each a pair of skates for the day. Bill led the seven of them, as it was his idea to come to the roller rink. They went up one by one to the old man behind the counter. They each removed their shoes, handing them to the man and reciting their shoe size as he exchanged the sneakers for skates.

“Size 10, please” Richie mumbled, placing his beaten-up Converse on the counter.

He was handed a large, clunky pair of beige skates with bright orange wheels, and he shuffled over to one of the benches where his friends were pulling on their own pairs. Beverly sat between Ben and Bill, lacing up her skates and flicking the loose curls from her face. They both watched from either side of her, admiring how her fingers moved as she pulled the strings. Stan sat on the opposite side of Bill, pulling his skates on and tying them, humming slightly and letting a small smile slip onto his lips as he watched Bill tug his socks up a little before putting his own orange-wheeled monstrosities on. Mike, being the first to get his skates, was already on the scuffed hard wood floor of the rink, following the railing around the perimeter to start off.

Eddie was reluctant to so much as touch the skates let alone put them on his feet, even with his socks as a barrier. He had no clue how many people had worn them before him. He shuddered at the mere thought. He felt something jab his ribs, causing him to grimace in pain.

“Richie, what the fuck?” He rubbed his side as he glared daggers at the taller, lanky teen who simply smirked in response.

“C’mon Eds, get laced up, we’re gonna get left in the dust,” replied Richie, wrinkles forming in the corners of his eyes as he grinned down at Eddie.

“I…I don’t know about this Richie; these skates are disgusting. And don’t call me Eds, dipshit,” he grumbled. His hair got ruffled by a pale hand, fluffing it out of his usual neat style. He swatted at Richie’s hand, making the other laugh.

Richie snickered, standing from the bench, “Hurry up and put them on Eddie. Don’t make me do it for you, Spaghetti boy!”

“Fine! I’m not a child, and you’re not my mother. And stop it with those ridiculous nicknames, Richie.”

“You know you love them,” He chuckled as the shorter boy fixed his hair and tied up the skates, pulling hand sanitizer from his outdated fanny pack and squirting it into his hands. Richie rolled his eyes and watched him struggle to stand up from the bench, “Need a little help?”

“No! ......Yes, get over here fuckwad,” and he gave him a look of irritation and slight helplessness. Richie snorted and stepped closer, putting his hands under Eddie’s arms and helping him stand up.

“Does wittle Eds need to hold Wichie’s hand while he skates out onto the wink?” He teased, using a soft voice. This only ended with Richie getting punched in the shoulder while Eddie reached for the railing. He chuckled and followed the smaller boy out into the rink.

Eddie took in the bright lights that pulsed and lit up the hard wood floor with different colours, the area somehow remaining relatively dim. The music reverberated through the whole space, the song finally being recognized within his mind. Before he could say anything, Richie snorted again.

“Wow, I can’t believe they’re actually playing this. I haven’t heard it in ages.”

“Really? If I remember correctly, you were playing it at lunch just last week, Richard,” Eddie smirked, causing Richie to cringe.

“Eds, why must you do this- “

“I distinctly remember you singing every single word to what is most commonly known as ‘Mr. Brightside’ by The Killers. Am I wrong?”

Richie mumbled in response, prompting Eddie to nudge him as he shuffled along against the railing, Richie gliding next to him with his hands in the pockets of his dark jeans.

“Oh, c’mon Richie, I’m only teasing,” he chuckled softly as Richie puffed out his cheeks and rolled his eyes, a smile slowly spreading across his freckle speckled cheeks. ______________________________________________________________

Eddie sat with Stan, sipping a can of Coke through a straw. They shared a small tray of fries as they took a break and watched the others.

“I see the way he looks at you.”

“What?” Eddie turned to Stan, his eyebrows furrowed and a blush staring to form across his cheeks.

“Richie. He obviously likes you. You can tell from the way he looks at you. His pupils dilate, he smiles more, his cheeks flush a bit, and aside from that, you’re the only one he gives nicknames. He only teases you, in all honesty,” Stan shrugged and took a swig of his Sprite, letting his words set in.

Eddie thought for a moment, his head swimming. He blinked a little bit and started to chew his lower lip. He thought of all the times the dark-haired boy had called him playful names and put his arm around him or joked around. He swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat, “What the fuck…”

“Just pointing it out. Sorry if I caught you off guard,” Stan took a few fries and placed them in his mouth, chewing and waiting for Eddie to respond.

Eddie was mentally going over all the times he could remember in which Richie had, now that he thought about it, been flirting with him. He wondered how he could have missed all the moments. Had the others noticed? Did he feel the same? It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about the possibility before. There were small thoughts, but they were still there. They had been there since he was about 14 now that he took a moment to think about it. He’d never really gone further than a brief thought to begin with. Eddie Kaspbrak also recognized a surge of feelings coming to the surface, ones that had been repressed out of fear, shame, embarrassment, and a conglomerate of many other things.

He had questioned his sexuality before. There was no doubt of that. He never really found interest in girls. But did that mean he found an interest in Richie Tozier? He glanced over to the rink where said 17-year-old was skating. He immediately regretted doing so when he saw Richie squatting down and dabbing, all while screaming the lyrics to “All Star” as it blared over the speakers, most likely requested by the trashmouth himself. He promptly tripped over his own skates and landed on his face. Eddie raised an eyebrow, honestly not surprised with the result. He sighed as he concluded that, despite all the stupid things he did, he somehow liked Richie. Maybe more than “like”, but he wasn’t sure at this point. He took a breath and looked at Stan.

“I think I feel the same. I’m not sure but…I think I do? I don’t know, this whole thing confuses me completely. What do you think?” He turned to look at the boy next to him, a confused look spread across his soft, doll-like features.

Stan took a sip of his drink again, shrugging, “I mean, I’m bi. So, I could probably help through this whole thing.”

“Really? I would have never guessed…” Eddie raised his eyebrows and nodded softly, taking in this information. “So…I think I like Richie. Should I talk to him about it?”

“Well, sure. If you feel like you’re ready to confront him about it. If you don’t feel ready, I’m sure I could talk to him for you. He probably needs a break, he’s been skating for about an hour and a half with hardly any stopping… except for that face plant. So, why don’t you go skate, and I’ll talk to Trashmouth, okay?”

Eddie chewed his lip nervously, glancing over at the boy in the thick glasses. He felt his heart race as it sometimes did, only this time, he knew why. He looked back at Stan and nodded. ______________________________________________________________

Richie rolled over to the benches, collapsing onto it and sighing. He chuckled and rolled onto his back, smiling up at Bev as she looked down at him, “What a view ladies and gents!”

“Shut it, Tozier,” she giggled. Bev took a seat next to his lengthy and thin torso on the plush bench, patting his stomach teasingly.

He stuck out his tongue and sat up. He ran a hand through his dark curls, letting them slip through his fingers and fall back to his shoulders. He watched as Bill shuffled over towards where Stan and Eddie sat at the Snack Bar, feeling a wave of hunger hit him.

“Hey Bill, wait up!” He got to his feet and stomped over, having to lift his feet on the carpeted area so he wouldn’t fall again. He finally caught up and walked side by side with his friend.

“Hey Richie. N-Nice moves out there,” He laughed softly and grinned at Richie, his smile genuine and kind. Richie always appreciated that about Bill; he himself was genuine and kind.

“Thanks, Bill. What’ve they got over here? I’m starved,” He trudged over and looked over the menu hanging up on the back wall. He scanned it until he saw something appetizing, “One pretzel with cheese, please. And a Coke if you have any.”

After paying for the snack, he carefully moved to the booth where Stan was seated, Eddie having gone missing in the minute or so Richie wasn’t looking.

“Where’s Kaspbrak?” Richie inquired as he sat down across from the light-haired teen eating his fries.

“Bathroom, you just missed him,” Replied Stan, taking a swig of the drink in front of him.

“Oh, off to tickle his pickle to the thought of me, huh?” Richie teased, getting an eye roll from Stan and a look from Bill.

“Yeah, because he’s so into you,” Stan sarcastically retorted, earning a small snort from the teen next to him currently attempting to open a bag of M&M’s. He grinned to himself and continued to eat the fries he had been sharing with Eddie.

Richie simply smirked and took a large bite of his pretzel, pieces of salt left on his lips as he chewed the warm dough. He had no sooner taken a bite when he started talking again, “I think we all know Eddie has a crush on me. Have you seen the way he looks at me? It wouldn’t surprise me if I was the most prominent member of his personal spank bank- “

“Beep beep Richie,” Bill cut him off. He knew how carried away Richie could get, and he didn’t want anyone getting embarrassed or uncomfortable; this was supposed to be a fun day together.

“Sorry Bill,” He took a sip of his Coke to shut his mouth.

“Speaking of which,” Stan started, “Richie, do you…are you attracted to men?”

Richie paused for a minute, thinking. He had pondered this before, and he concluded that he liked both men and women. He opened his mouth to respond, stopping short as he watched Eddie come out of the bathroom and skate out onto the rink. The signature red shorts of the shorter boy fit his feminine figure well, reaching just above mid-thigh. Richie was broken away from his distraction by Stan clearing his throat, “Wh-what was the question?”

“Do you like boys, Richie?” He raised an eyebrow, awaiting a response.

Richie faltered for a moment before putting his head on the table, “Yes. I like girls and boys, mainly equally.”

“Is there anyone you particularly like at the moment?”

“……maybe.”

“Are you going to tell us?” Stan persisted, hoping they’d get an answer out of the lanky teen across the table from him.

Richie lifted his head and repositioned it so he was looking through his dark curls. He examined the faces of his friends through his thick glasses, taking a moment before murmuring, “Eddie…okay? It’s Eddie. But you can’t tell anybody! I don’t want him finding out and getting all weird around me…”

Stan and Bill were quiet for a moment before looking at each other and grinning.

“I knew it,” retorted Stan, holding in a small bout of laughter.

Richie sat up and glared daggers across the table, “What the fuck do you mean?!”

“The nicknames, the teasing, the constant contact, the way you look at him, not to mention the fact that you’ve carried around an extra inhaler for him since you were 13, even though we all know he doesn’t actually have asthma. Need I go on?” Stan smirked once again, causing Richie to chuck a french fry at his forehead.

The more Richie though, the more he realized everything Stan said was right. All the times he called Eddie little nicknames or put his arm around his shoulder; the times he would comfort him when he was upset, or when they would have a sleepover and spend all night watching stupid movies or reading comics. He always felt a slight increase in his heart rate, but he’d never associate it with being around Eddie. He took a shaky breath and shoved another piece of the pretzel into his mouth, coming to terms with this.

“A-Are you okay with th-this, Richie?” Bill looked at him with concern and worry, hoping his friend was taking this situation well.

“…Stan, did Eddie say something to you? Is that why you’re bringing this up?”

Stan stayed silent for a second, debating whether or not to give away the reasoning to his inquisition. He gave in, “Eddie was talking with me earlier. He’s been struggling with his sexuality and… I guess I may as well just tell you, he likes you back. Whatever you want to do with this information, go ahead. Just don’t hurt his feelings, because this whole group will fuck you up Rich, and you know it.”

Richie took a breath, looking over to where Eddie was skating with Bev, hand in hand, both singing along to the song playing over the speakers. He grinned as he watched the small boy wobble and giggle, a large smile spreading across his face while Ke$ha belted out lyrics that filled the building with sound.

Bill and Stan followed his gaze, looking behind them before examining his face again. Bill recognized the look in his eyes, letting a smile ghost itself onto his lips, “He wouldn’t mess with th-this, Stan. Not about Eddie.” ______________________________________________________________

Richie got up from the table, shuffling over to the railing and pulling himself forward onto the hard wood flooring of the rink. He worked his way around the perimeter until he got to where Eddie and Bev were resting against the cool metal of the railing.

“Hey Eds, could I talk to you really quick? Alone? Sorry Bev,” Richie fiddled with his fingers, subconsciously chewing his chapped lower lip.

“Don’t worry about it, Tozier. I’m gonna go see what the others are up to,” Beverly smiled and subtly winked at Richie as she rolled off.

Eddie looked up at Richie with wide, chocolate coloured eyes, wondering why he wanted to see him in private. His heart started to race as he thought of why Richie might have come over, especially after having seen Stan talking to the taller teen, “What’s going on, Richie?”

Richie swallowed the lump forming in his throat, opening his mouth to speak when he was suddenly cut off by the announcer coming over the loud speakers.

“Alright everyone, find that special someone and head onto the floor for our couple skate!”

Richie paused and stared at Eddie for a second before offering his hand to the smaller male, “Wanna skate with me?”

Eddie’s breath hitched in his throat. He had to take a second to compose himself. Richie just asked him to couple skate with him. Richie. Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier. Richie, the self-proclaimed ladies’ man of the group, had asked him to be his partner in a couple skate. In public. Where people would see them. Eddie felt like passing out on the hard wood floor immediately.

“Eds? A-Are you okay?” Richie cocked his head, wondering if Eddie had heard his question.

Eddie said nothing, instead grabbing the taller boy’s large hand, interlacing their fingers and grinning up at him softly, “Let’s go, four eyes.”

Richie let a relieved sigh escape his lips, squeezing Eddie’s hand and humming softly, “About time, Spaghetti boy.” He chuckled and pulled him off as a familiar melody played over the speakers.

This is the sound of my soul This is the sound Ha ha ha haah ha ha I know this much is true Ha ha ha haah ha ha I know this much is true ______________________________________________________________

Bill and Stan smiled from their seats at the booth, watching the two finally end up together out on the rink. Stan hummed contentedly, grabbing a fry from the tray and placing it in his mouth.

“So what a-about you, Stan?” Bill looked over expectantly. He hoped the other boy would catch on to what he was asking.

“P-Pardon?” Stan nervously took a sip of his soda, feeling his heart speed up a little bit as he thought of what this question could mean.

“Do y-y-you have anyone in m-m-mm-mi-mind? That you w-w-want to be w-with?” There was a slight sparkle in his eyes as he looked at the bird lover.

Stan moved a bundle of curls from their spot covering his face. He sucked in his bottom lip, holding it in place with his teeth. He looked over at the stuttering teen he had known for years, letting a smile work its way across his lips. He moved his hand from its place of rest on his thigh, placing it on Bill’s hand that rested on the bench of the booth they sat at. He let out a soft hum as he watched the other teen’s eyes widen in response, looking from their hands to his face.

“S-Stan-?”

“Bill, just shut up for a second,” He chuckled and nudged Bill, wanting him to stand up, “Let’s go skate, this place closes in like an hour.”

“…Alright,” Bill smiled and lead Stan out into the rink, going around with the rest of the crowd to the loud and vibrantly tuned music. ______________________________________________________________

Bev smiled from across the rink, “Jesus, took them all long enough.” She snickered to herself and glided across the polished floor to head out for a quick smoke, proud of her friends for finally “growing some damn balls” as Richie would so delicately put it.

Tag List: @edsrich @bxxpbxxprichie (I’d really appreciate it if those tagged got the time to read this ^^)

#richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #reddie #it 2017 #richie/eddie #it richie #it richie tozier #it eddie #it eddie kaspbrak #reddie fic #it fic

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whindsor · 7 years ago

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all the headcanon odds for mika please!!!

1. What are three Netflix shows that they’ve rated five stars? I have no idea what’s on Romanian Netflix, but going based off Mika and my knowledge of American shows…Great British Bake Off, Great British Bake Off Master Class, and Zumbo’s Just Desserts! So basically all baking shows, cause they soothe her.

3. Do they like to play games? What kind of games: video, card, board? What are some of their favorites? She’s useless at video games and can’t focus long enough for most board games, but she’ll play a game of cards like nobody’s business. She loves the games they used to play as kids, ones that involved speed and quick thinking. She’s also been known to win at King’s Cup. She’s also pretty adept at sports, though she doesn’t get to play them very often.

5. Do they prefer movies or TV shows? Why? TV shows. She’s in for the quick changes in plot and the capability to nap and not miss too much.

7. What’s their diet like? Are they vegetarian, vegan? Do they have any food allergies that make them have a special diet? Uh, is “way too fond of sweets” considered a diet? She tries to be relatively healthy otherwise, but she can’t say no to cookies/cakes/pies/anything really.

9. How often do they go grocery shopping? Do they tend to do one large trip, or smaller ones throughout the week? She says she only goes once a week, but she forgets so many little things that she usually has to stop on her way home every day or two.

11. Do they like going to museums? What type of museums do they like to go to? Art, science, historical; interactive, quiet, a mix? She loves to go to the art museum when she’s really stressed out. It’s quiet, there’s pretty things to look at, and no one will bother her. She doesn’t go very often, really only when she’s very, very stressed.

13. Have they ever been do Disney World/Land, or any other amusement park? What do they prefer to do at them: go on the rides, play the games, eat the food? She’s never been to anything like that! Her mom didn’t consider them safe when her and her sisters were younger, and now that she’s older she doesn’t really see the appeal. She’s been to a carnival, but that’s about the closest thing.

15. When do they pay their bills? As soon as the bill comes in? At the last moment? Or are most of their bills automatically taken out of their account? She knows way too much about IT to allow autopay. She sets her alarm on her day to pay bills, and pays them all at once on a credit card with a low limit.

17. Do they have cable, or do they rely mostly on Netflix, Hulu, and other streaming services? Oh, streaming services, for sure. She also has…ways of keeping up with her favorite shows. Ways that may or may not be legal.

19. Are they more of a snacker throughout the day, or they eat three meals and call it a day? Uh she eats three meals and snacks throughout the day, cause she loves food and figures she can just walk it off.

21. What were they a part of in high school/college, if they went? Were they a part of any clubs, did they play any sports? What clique would they have been considered a part of? She played anything and everything. She was good at sports and math and technology, but horrendous at literature and art and basically anything creative. She’d probably be a jock - she just wanted to hang out and be with a few friends.

23. How do they prefer to watch movies? In the theater, on a streaming site, from an owned DVD/digital download, rented from somewhere? If it’s a movie she’s really excited about, she’ll go see it in theatres. Otherwise, she’ll find a way to watch it from home, whether it’s available legally or not.

25. What do they prefer to do in the summertime? Do they like going to the beach, do they prefer camping, staying in the city? Do they like to stay indoors and away from the heat? She loves to go outdoors. Summers are relatively mild in Romania, so that’s the best time to visit the beaches or go camping or just go out for a picnic. She loves the heat of the sunshine on her shoulders and a cold drink in her hand.

thank you babe!!!!

#inbox fun #lizbae asks #ugh my lil mika bb is so precious

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the-dork-neko · 7 years ago

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Tag Game

Thank you, @chekovs-davy-jones-wig ! ❤️

Rule: Answer the questions and tag 10 blogs to get to know them better! (I think I won’t tag 10 blogs…)

Nickname: Only the ones given by bullies. Let's skip this part? ;)

Gender: Female

Star sign: Sagittarius ♐

Height: 5' 1/2

Time: 11:38 PM

Birthday: November 23rd

Favorite bands: The Monkees; Simon & Garfunkel; 14 Bis; The Beatles; The Who; Pink Floyd; Peter, Paul & Mary; The White Stripes; R.E.M.;

Favorite artists: Jack Johnson, Joan Baez, Mercedes Sosa, Regina Spektor, Mika, Amy Winehouse,

Song stuck in my head: Amy Winehouse's Love Is a Losing Game.

The last movie you watched: Marvel's Doctor Strange

Last show you watched: The Monkees

When did I create this blog?: Somewhere in the second semester of 2017.

Last thing I googled: convert m to ft, to fill this ask 😅😅

Lucky number: I'm from Humanities, numbers are relative! So is luck :)

Instruments: Piano and other keyboards in general.

What I’m wearing: jeans and a blue "Indian styled" shirt. (If you'll call me a hippie, "don't hit me with the stick, please".)

How many blankets do I sleep with?: only one for safety like Linus', we're in Summer.

Dream job: Time traveler. :)

Dream trip: Pompeii

Favorite food: Chocolate

Nationality: Brazilian

Favorite song at the moment: Mike Nesmith's Different Drum.

I'd like to invite: @virginiamccooley @rose-of-pollux @averyextraordinaryscene @theniftycat @nezclaw and @ireneead

Jogo-Quiz

(Obrigada, @chekovs-davy-jones-wig ❤)

Regra: responda os tópicos e, se possível, marque 10 pessoas, para todo mundo se conhecer melhor... :)

Apelido (s): Dados por brincadeiras de péssimo gosto. Vamos pular esta parte. ;)

Gênero: Feminino

Signo: Sagitário ♐

Altura: 1,68

Hora: 23:27

Data de aniversário: 23/11

Bandas Favoritas: The Monkees; Simon & Garfunkel; 14 Bis; The Beatles; The Who; Pink Floyd; Peter, Paul & Mary; The White Stripes; R.E.M.;

Artistas Favoritos: Jack Johnson, Joan Baez, Mercedes Sosa, Regina Spektor, Mika, Amy Winehouse,

A última música grudada na memória: Amy Winehouse - Love Is a Losing Game

Último filme assistido: Dr. Estranho, do Universo Marvel.

Último seriado assistido: The Monkees

Quando criei este blog: algum lugar no 2o. semestre de 2017

Última pesquisa no Google: Converter m em ft, para responder a parte em Inglês deste jogo 😅😅

Número da Sorte: Sou de Humanas, por favor não me pergunte nada com números no meio. 😅😅😅 Números e Sorte são totalmente relativos.

Instrumento (s): Piano e teclados em geral.

O que estou vestindo: jeans e uma camiseta azul em estilo indiano (Por favor, se for me chamar de hippie, ao menos não me bata!)

Com quantos cobertores durmo: um só, para segurança, igualzinho ao Lino :3 afinal, estamos no verão.

Emprego dos Sonhos: Viajar no tempo-espaço! :)

Viagem dos Sonhos: Pompeia e Herculano.

Comida favorita: Chocolate.

Nacionalidade: Brasileira.

Música favorita (por enquanto): Michael Nesmith - Different Drum

Gostaria de convidar @virginiamccooley @rose-of-pollux @averyextraordinaryscene @nezclaw @theniftycat e @ireneead!

#tag game #ask game #jogo de perguntas #post bilíngue #bilingual post

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middlecountries · 5 years ago

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Quiet Heroes (1 of 2)

What gets written about the quiet heroes? Where are the stories of the toiling, unpraised few who don’t seek glory for themselves but live contentedly helping others? Who are they who heal wounds they neither caused nor suffer from directly? Who is Kevin DiFiore? Who is Mark Hodgson? Who are Alana Parisi, Alex Lambert, Paul McKeown, and Uzair Amir?

...Who is Zenek Krowcyk-Lewedowski?

Zenek Krowcyk-Lewendowski was born in Warsaw to Wojtek Lewendowski and Angelika Krowcyk. Wojtek was an artist and Angelika a nurse. They separated when Zenek was four and his sister Ewelina was one. The cause of the separation was complicated. Angelika desired a better quality of life than Wojtek could afford as an artist and Wojtek, in retaliation to his wife’s dissatisfaction, cheated on her. Angelika was so enraged when she found Wojtek in bed with another woman one afternoon when she got home early from work that she told him to take the children and leave. She loved Zenek and Ewelina deeply but she wanted Wojtek to feel the pressure of being the chief breadwinner for a family. Wojtek lived in a fantasy land of pretty, swirling colours while she got abused by drunken patients and conceited doctors. She wanted Wojtek to learn what responsibility felt like however much she would miss her children.

Angelika was so stubborn and set on her plan that when Wojtek said he was taking the children to live in Canada where he thought his paintings would sell better, she didn’t try to stop him. She figured he would come running back to Warsaw after a few months he was so naïve to the expense and energy it took to look after small children.

So Wojtek, Zenek and Ewelina packed up and moved a half continent and ocean away. Zenek missed his mother greatly but was soon distracted and excited by his new surroundings. He and his dad and sister moved into a sleepy West-end neighbourhood of Toronto where there was a large Polish expatriate community including one of Wojtek’s friends from art school. Within weeks of arriving in Toronto, Zenek and Ewelina had friends on their street and Wojtek was being introduced to artists and gallerists all around the city. Things got even more comfortable for them when Wojtek met Mika. Mika was a sculptor and she and Wojtek were instantly attracted to one another. Mika was undaunted by Wojtek’s family situation and she moved in with him and Zenek and Ewelina after less than six months of them dating.

Mika took to Zenek and Ewelina without hesitation and the children in turn, welcomed her into their lives. Zenek’s childhood progressed relatively free of stress or difficulty for some time after. He was briefly embarrassed at school for not speaking English but he soon picked up the language and integrated easily with his Canadian-born classmates. Once a year his mom would come visit him and his sister or they would go to Poland to see her. Zenek liked his mom’s visits or trips to Poland a lot. Angelika took them up the CN Tower, to Niagara Falls and other tourist attractions around Toronto and south-central Ontario. In Warsaw they’d visit relatives who showered Zenek and his sister with gifts and affection. But the, just before Zenek turned thirteen, at the end of Angelika’s visit to Toronto, his mom started to sob when they went to say goodbye to each other. In a way that had become characteristic of him, Zenek asked, ‘What’s the matter, Mom? Why are you crying?’

Angelika hugged him as they stood on the porch to his dad’s house. ‘Oh, sweetheart,’ she said. ‘I made such a terrible mistake letting you move away from me. I’ve missed you terribly. I’m a horrible mother.’

Zenek pushed himself back so he could see look his mother in the eye. The two were now at eye level with one another so he looked straight ahead at her. ‘Mom,’ he said. ‘I love my life here. You’re the best mother in the world.’ Angelika sobbed again and kissed and hugged her son. After a few minutes she turned and walked off the porch and back to Poland.

Zenek grew into a happy, well-adjusted teenager. He had many friends and his grades were excellent. He was quieter than most of his Canadian friends but he didn’t think anything wrong with this. His favourite things to do were look after his sister and solve math problems. These things gave him much greater peace of mind and tranquility than drinking and getting stoned did, activities that were becoming favoured by his friends.

Zenek’s love of math inspired him to apply to the computer science department at the University of Toronto for his bachelor’s degree. He was accepted and lived at home while he studied. His life was quiet and uncomplicated. The only possible complaint he had was that he couldn’t easily met girls living at home. His classmates were predominantly male and he felt self-conscious about asking out girls he met at parties back to his dad and Mika’s house. All in all it wasn’t a serious problem. He got a great deal of female attention and companionship from his sister and stepmom albeit not of a romantic variety.

After undergrad Zenek took a job with IMB in their manufacturing products department. It was well paying and decently interesting work. He liked many of his colleagues and was generally happy with his direction in life. Around the same time he moved into an apartment in Parkdale with a few of his friends from high school in the hopes of jumpstarting his romantic life. Unfortunately, despite the opportunity he now had to invite women home after parties or dates, he remained single for nearly two years.

Then in late 2009, at a party he and his friends were throwing for Halloween, Zenek met a girl who captured his interest and seemed to return it. Her name was Margaret and she was a painter. They had a few friends in common and she was in the midst of creating a website to promote her artwork. She and Zenek talked enthusiastically about art and website design for almost an hour at the party. But just as Zenek was gathering the nerve to ask her for her phone number, a man walked up to her who she immediately turned to and kissed. Turning back to Zenek, Margaret said, ‘Zenek, this is my boyfriend, Daniel.’ Zenek’s heart sank and he could barely gather the strength to clasp Daniel’s outstretched hand. ‘Nice to meet you,’ he said. He looked over his shoulder then down at the floor. ‘I’m going to the kitchen for a drink. Do either of you want anything?’

Daniel shook his head and Margaret did the same. Then, changing her mind, Margaret said, ‘Actually, sure. Get me one of whatever you’re having.’ ‘No problem.’ On his way to the kitchen Zenek tried to put the idea of any of union between him and Margaret out of his head.

Margaret friend-requested Zenek the day after the Halloween party and they started messaging each other about Margaret’s website. Zenek was happy to answer her questions about coding. He was an art lover and he’d reached a level of competency at his job that he was starting to have a good deal of free time on his hands. He and Margaret soon started meeting in person to discuss Margaret’s website. Margaret told him from the outset that she couldn’t pay him except in a piece of art and Zenek assured her that that was fine, that he was glad to help make the world more beautiful and support an artist.

After three months the website was done to a level that satisfied both Zenek and Margaret. In the interim the two had grown very fond of each other. Zenek liked Margaret’s emotional exuberance and active imagination. He couldn’t help feeling his original attraction to her return when he visited her one time at her studio and she was covered in paint wearing nothing but cut-off jean shorts and a tank top. For Margaret’s part, she liked Zenek’s stoicism and unfailing moral compass. At various times she’d told him about hers and Daniel’s sexual problems of late and she didn’t notice a change in his demeanour whatsoever. Instead praying on Margaret’s vulnerability and trying to get her into bed, he repeatedly assured her that she and Daniel would work things out.

The painting Margaret made for Zenek in compensation for his help creating her website was one of her favourites ever. It was a four by five canvass of layered green and yellow paint with designs and impressions scrapped out of it using different pallet knives. It was a technique she’d worked at considerably but had only felt mildly successful at doing up until then. Most of the scrapings and cut-outs in her previous pieces were of fairly predictable patterns whereas Zenek’s piece was the first in which she’d tried using more organic shapes and lines. The overall effect of the piece was of something controlled and deliberate yet spontaneous and messy.

Margaret brought Zenek his piece at 8:00 one evening in mid-January. When she presented it to him he looked at it quizzically for a least a minute. Finally, when he took his eyes off it, she noticed they were moist if not wet. ‘Thank you,’ he said in a low voice. ‘It’s very beautiful.’

Margaret had never seen anyone so moved by her art. This, coupled with the physical neglect she was experiencing from her boyfriend, caused her to take a half-step closer to him. ‘I’m glad you like it,’ she said and glanced at his lips. Zenek felt his breath speed up and his heart beat in his chest. He completed the remaining distance between them and kissed her. A minute later they went to his bedroom.

The premise of Zenek and Margaret’s affair was strictly physical. Margaret loved Daniel but his inability or unwillingness to please her sexually left her feeling very lonely. She felt tremendous guilt at abusing Daniel’s trust but what else could she do. They’d tried to talk about their intimacy issues but Daniel was unwavering in his belief that he could have a heart attack if he made love to her. He suffered from severe anxiety yet refused to see a therapist or take any medication for it out fear it would interfere with his work as a filmmaker.

Zenek felt bad about sleeping with Margaret too. He’d met Daniel several times and really liked him. He was always friendly and appreciative towards him for the work he’d done for Margaret’s website. Less trusting men would have been suspicious or jealous of someone who spent so much time with his girlfriend. (It turned out he had reason to be.)

Nevertheless the sex was great and Margaret was lovely. Zenek let her decide the times and lengths of their encounters and was careful not to kiss him on the mouth more than a few times per meeting. Mostly they met at Margaret’s studio on weeknights to avoid his roommates catching them. (Daniel and Margaret lived together so her place was out of the question.) The air mattress Margaret bought from Wal-Mart for them to have sex on in her studio was a bit tawdry but she managed to make a joke about it that put Zenek more at ease. (She said it was a dystopic, late-stage capitalist canvas.)

Gratifying though it was, the affair couldn’t go one forever. Guilt over Daniel’s would-be feelings was mounting in Margaret and Zenek’s need for a fuller relationship was starting to show. When he brought a new sheet set for the air mattress one night in late March, Margaret felt it was time to stop. Glancing at the sheets in Zenek’s hand, she sat down on the mattress. ‘I think this might be starting to get out hand,’ she said.

Zenek sat down beside her. ‘Yeah, I guess. What do you want to do?’

‘Let’s pretend we never met, that this was just a beautiful painting hanging in a gallery we each glanced at but never saw again.’

‘Sure,’ said Zenek, lowering his eyes. ‘A beautiful painting.’ He got up slowly. ‘Goodbye, Margaret.’

He kissed her on the cheek and left.

That spring was a depressing one for Zenek. However incomplete his relationship was with Margaret, it was better than nothing and he missed her a great deal. He tried to occupy himself by taking up rock-climbing and the activity helped somewhat. By the time the first consistently good weather of the year arrived in June he was virtually free of longing for his former lover.

Yet there was more missing from Zenek’s life than romance and companionship. His job no longer brought him the peace of mind and detachment he remembered falling in love with in math class so many years ago. He couldn’t stop his attention from drifting to bigger pictures, to what his daily efforts were going towards. He thought about the possibility of advancement within IBM or moving to another company. He could become a project coordinator, a manager and perhaps with a lot of work, a VP. But all of these roles, while better paying, required him to over-see other people and this responsibility went against his sensitive and non-judgmental nature. He thought about going back to school to do a master’s; the prospect certainly appealed to him intellectually. He’d like nothing more than to immerse himself in the most challenging theoretical and conceptual problems computer science had to offer. The drawback to this direction was money. He’d just managed to pay off his student debt from his bachelor’s degree and graduate school tuition was twice as much as undergrad. And besides, what was the end game with a master’s, A PhD? He couldn’t see himself working strictly in research or academia. No, a master’s in computer science wasn’t a solution to his vocational ennui. At best it would be a temporary fix.

One day in mid-July 2010 Zenek saw a poster for a lecture on the applications of information technology to environmental issues on the bulletin board at his rock-climbing gym. He went to the lecture and learned about a concept developed by an American economist called ‘distributed systems’. According to the economist the concept and its principles were already at work in the communications, political and cultural arenas. The prototypical distributed system was the Internet, a decentralized and non-hierarchical system of organization and distribution of goods. According to the economist – and the lecturer cribbing him – distributed energy systems wherein individual homes could produce green energy was the only way out of the world’s addiction to fossil fuels and eminent global environmental ruin.

Zenek was inspired by the lecture and immediately started researching schools and programs where computer science and sustainability were being taught together. His research led him to the University of Edinburgh’s master’s in environmental design and sustainability program. He liked the idea of returning to Europe in addition to the program itself. He looked at the admission requirements, saw that he met most of them, and set about applying.

Zenek was accepted to the 2011 master’s program in environmental design and sustainability at the University of Edinburgh. He found out he’d gotten in during the middle of the winter after his and Margaret’s affair and was really excited. He had lots of time to prepare to move and he didn’t even own much furniture or things he couldn’t easily pack up and take with him. Anything he had that was excessively heavy or bulky he could leave at his dad and stepmom’s house until he came back – if he came back.

After learning of his acceptance and getting organized to move, Zenek found his attention again drifting back to his romantic void. He thought about Margaret and whether he’d ever find another woman like her. They’d bumped into each other occasionally at parties since their affair and the experience always depressed him. She seemed to have resolved her issues with Daniel, the two of them always hanging off of each other like teenaged love-birds.

Thankfully that summer arrived and left quickly. For his departure, Zenek’s friends organized a big farewell party at his Parkdale apartment. His dad and stepmom and sister came. Ewelina cried at several points in the evening over, but Zenek assured her he’d be home for Christmas and every other chance he got. The rest of the party was filled with raucous drinking and laughter.

Zenek flew to Edinburgh airport the day after his farewell party carrying a sizable hangover along with all his luggage. He managed to sleep on the plane and woke up an hour before landing in foggy, damp Scotland. The first thing he noticed as the plane dipped beneath the cloud-line was the emerald green colour of all the plants and fields below. It seemed like a very appropriate place to study ‘green’ technology.

Zenek went through customs and got the bus to the city centre. Edinburgh was much smaller than Toronto and he arrived just outside Waverly Station in less than half an hour. Along the way, he gazed out the bus window at the buildings and scenery of Scotland’s capital. Nearly everything was built in moss-covered stone and nothing was taller than five or seven storeys. The architectural feel gave a sense of history, modesty and authenticity.

Zenek passed Edinburgh Castle and Princes Street Gardens and the bus came to a stop. At that point he found his bus to the university and boarded it. It was difficult managing all his bags but Edinburghers were very polite and yielded to him as he got on and off the buses with all his things.

He arrived at his stop on campus and made his way to the student housing complex where he was renting a room in an apartment along with two other students in his program that he’d met online. He was the first of the three of them to arrive and when he opened the front door to the flat, he dropped his bags and went straight to the couch to collapse.

#short story #amwriitng #literary fiction

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