#miimzy

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

bizarre but fun headcanon

facing down a threat of frustrating proportions such as say... the Vees making a scene outside the hotel gates as if that will stop any retaliation

with Mimzy by his side, pretending to play apologetic matyr because she might have fucked up and pissed off the small yelling doll one of the VVVs by doing something unholy that she refuses to elaborate on

Alastor reches out a hand towards the woman who rolls her liquid black not-eyes in fond exasperation, as if this isn't her fault in the least.

she then pulls a ludicrously long sniper rifle from her cleavage and its taller than she is, causing some confusion to the onlookers from the hotel

"Where was-...?"

"Don't ask. You don't wanna know." Husk replies, chugging the bottle to hand. Not enough alcohol to deal with this broad slinking back into their lives.

Intriguingly, Alastor cocks the weapon and then removes his monocle, placing it into a slot upon the barrel. And it immediately becomes apparent that the supposed fashion accessory is in fact the missing scope.

Suggesting two things immediately

The first, obviously is that this isn't the only time Mimzy has supplied this specific weapon to Alastor

And the latter, naturally, is that anytime he stared down at you through it, he literally had you In His Sights. And wasn't that unnerving?

"Oh Voooooooox....?" the Radio Demon trills, the distortion in the tone like knives down a chalkboard. "...I believe you're about to have an unforseen interruption to your broadcast..."

"What are you on about, you talentless old-timey motherfucke-... oh shit, get down, he's got that fucking rifle!"

Laughter fills the air as Vox takes a regular bullet to his throat, leaving him glitching and leaking, but ultimately mobile. Valentino, sadly, takes a rather pointed round to the crotch... and any laughter Angel may have allowed to escape was subtly covered up by Alastor's own cackle.

Velvette has a knee blown out, and then Mimzy is on her like a pair of alleycats spitting over territory. Fantastically, the whole mess is televised for the duration of however long it takes Vox to realise what's airing on his channels and cut the feed.

Nothing quite like the humiliation of fellow sovereign overlords, who really should know better, in front of the press after all. Especially when it's vibrantly clear that the Radio Demon wasn't even aiming to kill... but he easily could have. That the Vees are being sloppy in their insistence of superiority.

And, true, they had the right to demand Mimzy be ousted to face the consequences of her actions... but they shouldn't have driven her to the point of sucking up her own pride to go back to Alastor for help. Heck, they're lucky she hadn't run to Rosie and pulled a full apology tour, because the cannibette overlord would have sauteed them without getting a drop on her beloved frock.

"Should we... be doing anything in particular?" Charlie asked, confused. Startling as the rifle is placed in her hands.

"Why, if you wish to join in for a spot of team bonding, I'm sure we can get you a steady enough shot to at least blow off the insect's other antennae in the next ten minutes..."

"Whoa-no, no... no thank you." she doesn't drop it, but does hold it out like a particularly explosive bomb.

"Your loss. Now, tell me how t'aim down this little doohickey of yours, 'cause my guns are more spray and pray types..."

"Angel NO, this won't help your redemption..."

"But I could blow the cock right off my boss, which should give me a few days off, til he heals, right?"

"I-... well, true."

"Then hurry up with the lesson there, Smiles, because I'd hate for him to crawl away in the meantime."

"Indeed, well, you will need to close at least half your eyes for this..."

Vaggie soothes Charlie's conscience with soft words, to the side, and wonders what her life even is anymore. Husk doesn't say much, but appears slightly too pleased when a rumpled Mimzy limps back over with a darker eye than she left with. Victorious, but at a cost.

"Well I showed that little flapper how we fought in the war, didn't I? Let's see her try to tear up one'a my gals again, I'll rip her damned limbs off and make her watch us eat 'em next time I find her making one of my dancers into model confetti."

"And is the lovely Athena well, now she has reformed?" Alastor asked, absently as he redirected Angel's hands on the weapon to steady the barrel. "Watch for recoil, my good man, or it will blow your shoulder clean out of the socket, ha!"

"Yeah, she's more upset now she's all together again. But I stand by beating the shit outta that bitch and blowing up that studio of theirs. If my girls ain't safe, none'a the Vees get t'be either!" Mimzy spits, as if the Vee brand name is too vile to contain in her mouth.

"Quite right. Now, my effeminate friend, do give the insect a blowjob he'll never forget..."

Angel was so shocked by the innuendo he nearly missed the shot, hands jerking up to cover up the hysterical laughter that threatened to escape. The shriek of indignant pain Valentino let out as his mothhood blasted across the sky was... music to Angel's ears.

Even Husk couldn't hide his grin.

"Excellent. Well, if that concludes things, I'm sure we can count this as today's little redemption exxercise over whatever was planned with that glitter and fingerpaints mess in the lounge. Really, Charlotte, could yo-... Niffty, no dear! Stab them later!"

The Radio Demon has to snag the overeager maid with a tendril, as she giggled past with her angelic blade. "Aw but siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir..."

"Really, my dear, if you kill them with that we don't get to watch them suffer next time they cross our boundaries, hmmm? How about you take..." A rather large machete appeared from the mystical stroage space between worlds (Mimzy's impossible rack), "this one, and send them on their way instead?"

"Niffty NOOOOOOOOO!" Charlie squeaks in horror.

"Niffty YES!" Angel cheers as she launches herself at the television, who shrieks and hurls himself towards a power pole.

"...what did I miss?" Lucifer frowns, appearing amidst the group iinto a scene of utter chaos.

"You don't wanna know." Vaggie mutters, rolling her eye. "And if you did, I don't know how to begin to explain it to you."

"The not-good Bad Boys and their Bad Girl are gone, sir!" Niffty explains, making the King jump because when did she get there right in front of him? She's covered in blood. "It was FUN!"

"And now, in the spirit of things, Your Majesty... might I trouble you to duck?"

"Oh hardy-har-har..." Lucifer rolls his eyes and is then unceremoniously thwapped into the front stairs by a tendril as a blast of lightning shot back up the hill at where he'd just been. Alastor side-stepped it with ease.

"Do at least try to aim, picture box!" he taunts, as Lucifer pops back upright.

Garbled static curses follow the proclamation as the TV Overlord gathers his business partners to flee into the electricity with.

Grinning, Alastor turned to the gathered. "Alright, I believe it's Angel's turn to cook lunch today... would you care for some assistance in this endeavour? I'm sure I could spare Husker..."

"Yes, please. Thank you. Can I suck ya di-..."

"Quite enough of that. One more word and you go from making lunch to being lunch, my good man."

"Oooh, inta vore, huh?"

A rather sharp record scratch. "Into what now?"

Angel slings a too companionable arm about the Radio Demon's shouders. "Oh Al, do I have some new and awful terminology for you to learn today... but, if you stick about, I'll also show ya my nonna's technique for getting perfect pasta consistency in her lasagne..."

"...a cruel bargain. Alright, if you must..."

"Well, ya see some people might see a cannibal eatin' people and they go Oh No that's Awful... and some, well, they get the horny tingles. And-..." the front doors thankfully shut on that conversation.

"How mad is he gonna be when Angel explains that some people find it erotic when they see him swallow other sinners whole?" Husk asks, just to stir the pot.

Charlie blanches.

"Uh, Dad? Would you mind... being on standby for when Alastor has a little eldritch nightmare moment?"

"Hah, yes. As long as I get a photo of his face when he finds out."

"I swear I'm surrounded by all-powerful fuckin' children..." Husk mutters, stomping back inside.

----

etc.

Literally couldn't think of an end without making this four times longer and into an actual story, just wanted to headcanon it was a monocle slash sniper scope secretly in plain sight.

[warshq-blog]

(you're an angel thank u) but hello yes this is mimzy hello

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