#might try and hit post limit later today to try and manifest it

[shinyspooks]

(chanting) phantomsweep, phantomsweep, phantomsweep, phantomsweep-

Yknow i think it'd be really fucking funny if we got Danny Phantom number one trending using the tag #phantomsweep to make it seem like we've won something

We havent won anything but it sure as hell would be funny to pretend that we did.

[sodone-withlife]

i lost a friend (i lost my mind)

Criminal Minds Fic Part Three

| PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 |

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: character death, canon-typical violence, mental instability (I’m reluctant to name a specific disorder or condition)

Notes: cross-posted on Ao3, and this was my first whumpfic in this fandom so forgive me if it sucks. this is canon-compliant until after 12.01 The Crimson King

“What do I regret? I regret that we just took it as it was, that we didn’t look harder.”

Rossi thought about how he ended up in this situation, bulletproof vest on as he faced the one person he never expected to be at the other end of his gun, that he might have to take down.

He met the kid nearly twenty years ago on the Womb Raider case and immediately recognized raw potential when the kid told him about what he gathered from the dumpsite. They kept in contact even after Rossi went back to Quantico, and he spent the next year trying to get him to apply to become a profiler. The kid did eventually join them in Quantico, and he quickly proved to be a quick study with an incredible intuitive ability.

He ended up retiring a few months after the kid joined, but he kept in contact and they met for dinner a few times. While he wrote books, the kid became unit chief, all the while expanding the BAU to involve more than just a few profilers in a cramped cave that had been their office.  

When he rejoined the team, he watched as the kid—he’ll always be ‘the kid’ to him, no matter how good his glare got over the years—struggled to reconcile the failure of his marriage and his own feelings of being a failure as a father.

He watched as the kid obsessively hunted the Boston Reaper, turned to self-blame when seven people were found shot dead in a bus, as the kid realized the killer was in front of them the whole time, as he reacted to the news of Foyet’s escape.

He worried as the kid didn’t turn up when called, as they found him in the hospital after getting stabbed nine times, as his family were put into protective custody, as he walked into a confrontation unarmed and managed to save a child the day he returned from medical leave.

He watched as the kid obsessed and worked himself to the bone over the Reaper, as he stepped down and put Morgan in charge, as the team raced to find Foyet before he could get to the kid’s family.

He watched as he found the kid savagely hitting a dead body, as he found him later clinging onto the body of the woman he had loved, as the kid turned into a shell of himself while trying to be a good father for his son.

He watched as the kid tried to remain the unwavering pillar of strength for the team, as he was sent to the other side of the world away from his family for half a year, as he came back from Pakistan looking much too thin for a man his size and faced a wall of anger and betrayal.

He watched as the kid slowly found love again, as he tried to help Reid get through what he himself went through just over two years ago, as he tried to help his estranged brother get out of a mess of drugs and spikings.

He watched as the kid collapsed on the conference room floor and had to be rushed to the hospital, as George Foyet managed to kill him twice as he flatlined in the ambulance and in the operating room.

He watched as the kid tried to help solve Gideon’s murder, as he ended things with his new love.

He watched as the kid ended up on the other end of a serial killer’s obsession, as he hallucinated the whole team getting killed in front of him, as he nearly shot and killed Reid as he came in through the door.

He watched as the kid struggled to hide his terrors, as he tried to eliminate the threat against two of his teammates, as he tried to stop Morgan from doing what he had done six years ago in a frenzy that only resulted in the love of his life getting killed, as he was arrested at gunpoint in front of his son.

He watched as the kid tried not to let seeing the victim with his name carved into her forehead get to him, as he tried not to go out of his mind in worry about his son while he was stuck in a snowstorm, as he tried to keep everything inside in the months that followed, as he went through his daily life without really living.

Now, a memory of a conversation he had with Gideon rose to the forefront of his mind. Rossi hadn’t questioned it then, but now he wondered if Gideon saw this outcome, all those years ago.

He wondered if Gideon saw this when the kid came in all those years ago, absolutely smitten with his wife and yet hiding darkness deep inside him, when the kid easily slipped in and out of the minds of the worst humanity has to offer.

A year ago, just a day after Hotch was admitted into the hospital after being subjected to whatever torture Peter Lewis managed came up with, Prentiss had returned to the BAU. Hotch was going to be on leave for quite some time, given the nature of the drugs he had inhaled and what had happened when the team rescued him.

He remembered confessing his worries to her, that Hotch wouldn’t make it through to the other side with this one, that Hotch’s too-brilliant mind (brilliant not in the way that Reid was, but in the way that a prosecutor turned SWAT turned profiler’s brain was) would figure out a way to end it all, even though he was on suicide watch.

He remembered one early morning, a few weeks after Hotch had been discharged, when Prentiss was suddenly called into a meeting with the Director. He remembered seeing her sprinting back into the office, abandoning all professionalism as she stormed into the office next to his.

He remembered freezing at the doorway. It was bare of any signs of the previous owner: the heavy law books, the pictures, the awards, the small mementos from the team—they were all gone.

He missed the others’ reactions as they read the last words the—now former—unit chief left for them as he left the office and drove to Hotch’s apartment, only to find it completely bare with an envelope left on the door with Rossi’s name on it.

He remembered the days that followed, as Garcia and Reid desperately tried to search for the man who had completely dropped off the face of the earth, as Prentiss tried to fill Hotch’s shoes for the team.

He remembered JJ asking him about Jack and the pure, unfettered sadness that he let show on his face.

He remembered the horror saw in the others when he quietly told them that the ten-year-old had collapsed at school six months ago, soon after the DOJ fiasco, while Hotch was stuck in a blizzard in the middle of a case in Colorado, that Hotch didn’t make it to the hospital in time to see Jack awake one more time.

That Jack’s heart gave out on him while he was breaking every speed limit while driving Hotch to the hospital.

That Hotch was too late, just like he was too late with Haley seven years ago.

That Hotch spent the last six months hiding his grief and desolation, throwing himself entirely into work and doing the bare minimum in regards to his health.

That after a man, the husband of a murdered victim and father of a child who died of cancer just a few days later, committed suicide, he had forced Hotch to live at his place for two weeks so he could make sure the still-grieving father would wake up every day, alive and breathing.

He remembered hating that the straw that broke the camel’s back was of the Mr. Scratch nature.

He remembered wondering, not for the first time, how damaged affected Hotch’s psyche was.

Today, nine months to the day Hotch resigned from the bureau, he got his answer: incredibly damaged.

Rossi thought back to the profile they had given the Boston PD.

~~~

“The man we’re looking for is in his mid 30s to mid 40s and exhibits traits of both an organized and disorganized killer,” Rossi started, looking out into the Boston PD bullpen. “It is also highly likely that he fathered a son who is around 4-5 years old. He has recently suffered a personal tragedy, likely one that involved losing his son and wife in a way he feels responsible for.”

“The crime scenes itself demonstrate a high level of intelligence and control, but that control is shattered when it comes to the men,” JJ added. “We tracked their last movements, and it seems that these men all frequented BDSM clubs.” Everyone in the room got the unsaid message: the men were cheating on the wives.

“He may be using the men’s infidelity as justification for his actions,” she finished the thought.

“When we talked to the children, they said they remembered the unsub being very angry at the fathers,” Luke picked up from where Tara left off. “This, in addition to the level of overkill he exhibited and the smashed mirrors at every house, may be a manifestation of the unsub’s own self-hatred and of his desire to make others feel his pain and guilt.”

“The children also said that the unsub was incredibly nice to them and the wife and that he apologized before he knocked the kids out,” Reid interjected from where he was sitting at the side of the room. “This man has a fractured psyche: he’s able to exhibit care and consideration one moment, shoot a person in three vital regions the next, and then destroy a face post-mortem in a fit of angry self loathing. This will show in his day to day life.”

“We’d like for your officers to canvas bars and clubs in the area,” Prentiss instructed, “ and ask the workers if they know anyone who may fit the profile: again, male, 30s to 40s, may have recently suffered a tragedy, and may be acting erratically—asked for time off, mood swings, anything out of the ordinary.”

~~~

They had gotten it completely right, but, looking at the man playing with the child in front of him, Rossi still felt like they had completely missed the mark.

“Let the kid go,” Rossi ordered quietly.

“Dave, why are you calling him that?” came the quiet baritone, the dearly-missed voice inciting within Rossi a strange rush of familiarity and fear. “You know his name.”

It can’t be the kid’s actual name that he wants, look at the body language, it’s so protective. So what—Rossi briefly closed his eyes as a flash of grief overtook him.

“Hotch, please,” he finally said, placing his gun away and slowly moving around the man so that he could see the child. “Let Jack go, he doesn’t need to see this.”

That got a reaction out of the man, who looked up and shocked Rossi with the sheer depth of broken protectiveness that was in his expression. “He needs me,” Hotch insisted, his next words sending a bolt of shock through Rossi’s system. “He just lost his mother.”

Rossi kneeled down cautiously, mind racing. “Hotch, do you know what day it is?”

Hotch sent him a confused look. “It was Haley’s funeral yesterday,” he answered, breath hitching at the end as he looked away. His eyes locked onto the ballistics vest Rossi was wearing, noticing it for the first time. “Why are you wearing a ballistics vest? Is everything alright?”

Rossi’s eyes began to burn as he realized what was going on. “Hold on, I’m going to go get something, and then I’ll explain everything, alright?” he said, standing up and feeling relief at the responding nod. He quickly walked back into the living room where the others were waiting, only stopping to tell them to stay there before grabbing the case file they had brought with them.

“Come here,” he beckoned Hotch over, placing the file on the desk in front of the window in the sparsely decorated bedroom.

Hotch left the child on the ground and walked over, still confused. “A case?” he asked absently as he flipped through the reports with a focus that hadn’t been since eighteen months ago, when he was still with the bureau, before that fateful day.

Unseen, Rossi went to the child and quickly ushered him out of the bedroom, making sure that he got to one of the others before going back inside, making it back to Hotch before he looked up from the file.

“What do you make of it?” Rossi indicated the folder, tone even as he successfully hid the turmoil within. He watched with a pang as Hotch easily slipped back into old habits, verbalizing his observations and yet remaining utterly oblivious to the significance they hold to him.

Hotch paused, looking around. “Where’s Jack?” he asked Rossi, panic seeping into his voice when he realized the child was gone. He backed away from Rossi, who had stepped carefully towards him, hands up placatingly. “Dave, what’s going on? Where’s Jack?”

The situation was all too painfully familiar.

“Hotch, you know that isn’t Jack,” Rossi said carefully. “His name is Charlie Summers. Yesterday wasn’t Haley’s funeral. It’s November 2020, and you’re in Boston, not in Virginia.”

“What are you talking about?” Hotch looked at him as if he were crazy.

Rossi pressed forward. “Do you remember what happened eighteen months ago, when you were taken by Peter Lewis?” he asked as Hotch froze in his place. “He had you for a day. He had taken you to your childhood home in Manassas, do you remember that? He drugged and tortured you. We found you just in time, but you almost killed yourself.”

He watched as blood leached out of the man’s face, as he started rapidly shaking his head. “You were discharged from the hospital a week later,” Rossi pushed, hating every second that passed while he tried to pull Hotch out of the delusion. “And while you were still on medical leave, you sent in your resignation and asked that Emily Prentiss, who had come back while you were in the hospital—”

“Take my place as unit chief,” Hotch finished in a whisper, staring at the floor and shaking like a leaf. Rossi rushed forward, flashing back to the day Hotch got that devastating phone call as he caught the man and lowered him to the ground—holding and comforting him, despite the circumstances, just as he had done back in that hotel room.

A few minutes passed, filled with harsh breathing as reality set in.

“Why?” Rossi finally asked the once stoic and unmovable unit chief, now reduced to just another unsub—only he wasn’t just another unsub. He was the man who held the elite profiling team together as they went through hell and back, the man who had reignited Rossi’s dormant paternal instincts.

He wondered if it had been a good idea to ask that question when Hotch remained silent, placing his head between his knees and still shaking as reality continued to seep back in.

“His voice,” Hotch finally muttered, “He wouldn’t stop. Taunting, laughing, talking, talking about how people are ungrateful and should be taught to be thankful for what they have that the children don’t deserve—” he broke off with a whimper covering his ears with his hands.

“Hotch?” He didn’t answer, even as Rossi forcefully brought his head back up. His eyes were squeezed shut and he had bit deep into his lip, drawing blood. “Aaron,” Rossi tried, raising his voice only to get knocked onto his back when the aforementioned man reflexively shoved him away, causing him to hit the bed then fall to the ground.

Hearing the crash, the team fell back onto instincts and rushed into the bedroom with their guns out and ready, only to see Rossi staring helplessly at the once-proud man curling into himself in the corner and letting out painful, guttural cries as the last pieces of his mind finally shattered under the weight of the demons he spent his entire life fighting.

[blindprof]

It’s Complicated

When people first hear me say that I am blind or severely visually impaired (B/VI), the most common reaction is surprise…followed by sympathy…followed most often by awkward silence. This is totally understandable. Unless you are regularly interacting with differently abled people, disabilities are uncomfortable. I feel uncomfortable and awkward around people who live with other forms of disability.

Heck, I’m still awkward around other people who are B/VI. And even this is understandable. Because each person is unique. Each manifestation of visual impairment is unique. Each path to and with B/VI is unique. Each person has unique life experiences, coping mechanisms, support networks, etc. We are all strangers in a strange land. I’ll have other posts dedicated to the whack-a-doo personal and social psychology of B/VI. For now, the focus remains on the physical, or rather the perceptual.

The second reaction is usually a question: “How bad is it” or “What do you see?” And my answer is “It’s complicated.”

In my first post, I laid out some more technical details: I have a visual field that is less that 10 degrees, night blindness, color blindness, uncorrectable myopia, light sensitivity, etc. But it’s not apparent how these details really affect what I see and how that impacts what I can do. This post will go into greater detail into what and how I see. Later posts will focus on how I (try to, with varying levels of success, stupidity, and hilarity) cope with these limitations.

It probably makes sense to start with my visual field, as this is the aspect of my vision that “qualifies” me as legally blind. However, before getting to that, we really need a basic understanding of how humans see. Don’t worry, I’ll keep it short and simple.

It may be easiest to compare the eye to a modern digital camera. A camera lens gathers and focuses light; it also constrains the amount of light passing through by altering the size of a mechanical aperture. In the human eye, these functions are performed by the lens and the pupil, respectively. In a digital camera, the lens focus light onto a CCD or CMOS sensor, which is a dense grid of light sensitive “pixels,” each generating a small electrical charge proportional to how much light (within a certain wavelength) is hitting it. The human retina is the biological, electrochemical equivalent. Finally, a digital camera has wires that transport these electrical signals to a computer, which then interprets the signals to create a digital image. Here, the human analogues are the optic nerve and the visual cortex within the brain.

As I noted in my first post, I have Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP), which primarily impacts my retina. Due to the wonders of genetics and epigenetics, other parts are impacted. But for now, I’ll focus on the retina. Characteristically, people with RP find that their retinal “pixels”—millions of light-sensitive “rod” and “cone” structures, as well as protective retinal pigment epithelial (RPE) cells from which the disease gets its name—stop functioning from the outside in. We don’t know the exact cause, nor is there yet any proven way to slow, much less reverse the process.

Of course, this is a biological process that is unique to each individual. For me, it has progressed relatively slowly from childhood. I can recall early symptoms as far back as age 6. I’ll have a separate post at some point talking about progression. But it is notable the process is neither steady nor predictable. I’ll have periods of relative stability followed by periods of perceptible loss. It’s rarely like a light switch, but rather more like a dimmer. Each area of loss will appear darker with less usable information until it is just “clicked off” by the brain, presumably redirecting its limited processing resources to doing something other than trying to interpret shotty data from dying cells. For me, the progression has also been very spotty—for example, I retained some usable vision in the extremes of my left-right periphery until just a couple years ago, despite progressively losing most of my peripheral vision between there and my center.

The result today is that I have very little of my retina remaining that pretends to function “normally.” I can detect very high contrast light vs. dark in some of my periphery, but nothing there that you would qualify as usable sight. My central vision is still somewhat functional, but has been fading rapidly of late. As I said, it’s spotty, but on average in good light I have maybe 10-15 degrees total horizontal vision and less than 10 vertical. And much of that is probably equivalent to what most would consider to be peripheral vision. To help better “feel” what this means, here are a few examples of how this manifests itself in my day-to-day life.

When I’m sitting across a table from you, I can see your face but not your hands. If I’m not socially distant, I might be able to see your eyes or your mouth, but not both at the same time. I often creep people out during a conversation because I’m constantly losing eye contact and moving my eyes to different parts of their body. I promise, I’m not “undressing you with my eyes”—people talk with their entire bodies, and I’m simply trying to catch as many visual cues as possible.

When watching TV from 10 feet away, I can “see” my entire 55-inch screen. But less than a quarter of that is in my central vision. I have to move my eyes to see detail or read signs or captions. Sports and fast action scenes are difficult to catch. A fast action, dark scene with subtitles…oy…the Battle of Winterfell may as well have been a BBC Radio broadcast.

I can read, though usually only slowly and for short periods, especially if it is paper and ink. I see only a few words at a time, so my eyes have to constantly move. This causes a lot of eye strain, and I have trouble keeping both eyes properly oriented and occasionally have periods where one eye twitches uncontrollably—obviously I’m channeling my inner Mad-Eye Moody.

And of course, navigating unfamiliar or unpredictable environments is very difficult. I navigate by moving from waypoint to waypoint, and if I don’t know the waypoints or if things jump in my way, well, bad things happen. Or maybe funny things.

More on all of these and their many repercussions in future posts.

People ask, “What do you ‘see’ in the places where you have no vision? Is it blackness? Emptiness? Blurry?” Again, it’s complicated, but for the most part, my brain has just removed those areas from its visual processing “algorithm.” So, I see the same thing that you see when something is beyond your peripheral vision…just nothing. There are long periods of adjustment as I lose sight—kind of like losing a limb and still expecting it to be there. But eventually it’s just not a part of the picture that my brain paints of the world around me.

Unfortunately, that’s not all. Night blindness is often the first detected symptom for folks with RP. What is left of my retina doesn’t detect light well, so I need much more of it. The result is that I’m totally blind in low-light situations. I need direct light to see any kind of detail. I carry a flashlight everywhere I go and use it regularly day and night.

So, I need bright light. But it is also my nemesis. My eyes compensate like one would with a digital camera…by cranking open the aperture (pupil) and turning up the gain on the sensor. This does allow me to function semi-normally in certain situations. But it also results in severe light sensitivity. As with a camera, the wider pupil also results in loss of detail, and bright light can almost entirely wash any other visual information. To make matters even worse, although my pupils do function, they are VERY slow to adjust.

The results of all of that are varied. I’ll post more details in the future. But for example, I am no longer able to read a computer screen for any length of time without inverted colors. It’s like trying to read while staring at headlights. I truly need dark mode on all of my devices. Also, changing lighting conditions are challenging, especially when they are extreme. When I come in from outside, my eyes can take many minutes to adjust. And bright light sources like sunny windows in otherwise moderately lit environments can really cause havoc.

Finally, a common comorbidity with RP are cataracts, which cause hardening and blurring of the lens. Of course, this one hit me, as well. A number of years ago, I had cataract surgery. It was great. I was the youngest patient in the surgery center by like 30 years. The process involves using a magic wand to dissolve your natural lens and replacing it with a plastic one. This gets rid of the blurring, but entirely removes the ability to focus. As a bonus, I did go from needing coke bottle glasses to just needing a couple of diopters of correction. But this further complicates reading, and means I’m constantly donning and doffing my specs or having to look below them to read. Minor in the big scheme of things, but it does make me look and feel like a damn old fart.

Okay, if you made it this far, you deserve to be let off the hook for now. There’s more like the fact that my corneas—the eyes’ (usually) clear “lens caps”—now seem to cause my sight to remain blurry for the first couple of hours of each day. Or that the eye strain can sometimes get so physically painful that I have to close my eyes for long periods during the day. But this is a mostly complete and accurate snapshot of what I’m currently living with physically.

I guess I didn’t present too many funny or uplifting or forward-looking things in here. Truth is, you kind of have to muddle along with me through these sewers to eventually find the humor and hope in all of this. Because it’s complicated. But I’ll get there if you’re patient.

[kaelinaloveslomaris]

Whumptober 1: Shaky Hands

Whoops, this is a bit late. I’m going to try to finish and post day 2 today as well so that I’m not a day off all month. Also forgive me for coming out of left field with this, but I’m starting off Whumptober with some Final Fantasy XV. I promise there will be Star Wars this month too (later today, in fact, if I get Day 2 done tonight). FFXV fans, forgive me. This is my first time writing any of the Chocobros. I’m still figuring out their voices (while coming back to writing for the first time in months). Also this is probably crap because I wrote it while half asleep after midnight.

—

He was close to stasis. He could feel it in the fatigue that had nothing to do with physical tiredness, in the aching void in his chest, and in the unsteady shaking of his hands. All signs that Gladio had drilled him into recognizing, pushing him to and past his limits every so often in training. But knowing he was approaching stasis wasn’t much help when he wasn’t in a position to do anything about it. It was one thing when he was safe in the Citadel’s training rooms, sparring with his Shield or even Cor when the Marshall was not out on the frontlines. It was another thing entirely when he was facing a squad of Magiteks on his own.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. He knew better than to leave the safety of a haven on his own at night, but he hadn’t been able to sleep, his mind conjuring up increasingly graphic images of how his dad might have died every time he closed his eyes.

Noctis ground his teeth, parrying another blow and trying to maneuver his way out of the circle the MTs were starting to close around him without warping out. His hands were shaking around the hilt of the Engine Blade, and one more warp, even a short one, would probably drive him to stasis and then he would be worse than helpless.

He needed just a second to catch his breath and take an elixir to restore his magic. That normally wouldn’t be a problem if his friends were with him to cover him. Six, it would even be feasible to duck behind a rock and wait a few minutes for the magic to trickle back naturally. But he had left them sleeping in their tent and snuck out on his own. If he survived this, Gladio was going to kill him.

Noctis cried out as a bullet from one of the snipers tore through his arm. He lost his grip on his sword, and it shattered back into the Armiger before it hit the ground. Swearing, he ducked under the closest MT’s swing to avoid decapitation and ran. If he was lucky, he might be able to make it back to the haven before one of them got a more lethal shot in.

But apparently the only Astral paying him any attention tonight was Ifrit. The ground bubbled with blue-hued darkness just ahead of him as an Iron Giant and an assortment of other, less dangerous daemons manifested between himself and safety.

The void in his chest had eased up a fraction during his flight, his continued activity preventing his magic from regenerating as fast as it would if he was at rest, but it might be enough. He summoned a dagger, the smallest, easiest weapon to bring to hand, and threw it as hard and as far as he could with his flagging strength through the dwindling gap between the two groups of enemies.

Stasis hit him with the force of slamming into a wall and the dagger was gone in shards of crystal by the time his fingers touched it again, but he was clear of both the MTs and the daemons by a few precious meters. Every cell in his body was screaming for him to just lie down and rest right where he was, but that wasn’t an option.

Noctis stumbled to his feet and half crawled behind a nearby rock formation. That might buy him enough time to get enough magic back to summon an elixir from the Armiger.

Waiting was torturous, and Noctis finally became aware of the burn in his arm from the bullet wound. He hissed through clenched teeth as he pressed a hand against it to staunch the bleeding. The elixir would take care of that too, but not if he passed out from blood loss first.

He forced himself to count out another thirty seconds before he summoned an elixir. The rush of power from the healing liquid always made him feel a little heady, and he grinned as the void inside him vanished along with the pain in his arm.

Noctis didn’t look back as he dashed towards the haven, his heart pounding louder than his footsteps. As soon as it was in sight, he pulled the Engine Blade from the Armiger again and flung it into the tree closest to the haven. He savored the exhilaration of a warp when he was no longer on the verge of stasis as he slammed back to corporeality against the tree. He didn’t bother yanking the blade from the tree, just dismissed it as he stepped into the haven, the protective runes better defense than any weapon.

Noctis finally looked into the forest behind him, but there was no sign of either the daemons or the MTs. Maybe they had destroyed each other after he had slipped through their fingers, maybe they had simply given up after he had made that final warp. He wasn’t actually sure how close daemons could get to the havens. He had never had one chase him that closely before, and he wasn’t about to test it again.

Their campfire was burning low, but there were still some small flames amongst the coals, so Noctis dropped into his chair beside it while he waited for his heart to settle and his breath to calm. Even if his friends were all still somehow asleep, he’d rather not risk them waking when he entered the tent and seeing him in this state.

He grimaced as he examined the bloodstained tear in his sleeve. It would be difficult to explain that to Ignis and impossible to have it escape his notice. Despite his glasses, his advisor had the sharpest eyes when it came to anything involving Noctis’s well-being. He was going to get a lecture from both Ignis and Gladio, and then Gladio was going to kill him. Briefly, Noctis thought it might have been easier to just let the MTs kill him.

He spent the next few minutes trying and failing to come up with some reasonable excuse for the damage to his clothing that did not involve Noctis being an idiot and nearly dying, with little success. But the adrenaline had finally worn off and he was feeling the exhaustion that follows. At the very least, the whole experience would hopefully make him tired enough to actually fall asleep for once.

None of his friends woke when he entered the tent or while he quickly got ready for bed. But even once he was curled up between Gladio and Prompto, warm and comfortable in his blankets with no other remaining signs of stasis, his hands still wouldn’t stop shaking.

[lokis-lady-death]

Chapter 15 Train Her

Loki/Thanos

Writer Post: Like, comment, reblog and follow for updates! Your love keeps me going <3

Here’s the Masterlist so you can stay caught up!

Chapter 15

Train Her

“Again!” Rey barked at you. “I can still see the strain in your face. This is to become second nature to you.”

You let out a sharp huff but did as you were instructed. For the fifteenth time, you took a deep breath, let yourself float into a cross legged position and levitated. The breath slowly left your chest as you felt every muscle in your body tense while you managed to lift the table beside you. Another slow breath and the bed followed.

That was your first day of training.

Now, five days later, Rey had you training to push your newfound powers to their limits. Invisibility, levitation, and telekinesis had become second nature to you, using it daily to move through the ship without any suspicion. You stopped escaping the bedroom to avert any unnecessary attention. The last thing you needed now was Thanos catching you outside of your room again. You had managed to revisit the Grandmaster only once more, going over your plan to help Loki escape and having him help test your strengths. Upon hearing you declare that you intended to destroy the infinity stones, he was hesitant but you assured him it would work. You told him through the training you were receiving you would be fine, but in all reality, you didn’t believe it yourself.

The stronger you became, the less you were able to communicate with Death until finally she no longer appeared in your visions. And that was what scared you the most. You were becoming more and more complete with every session. Once you were strong enough, you knew you would have a small window of opportunity to destroy the stones.

Which left Loki. You had visited the god of mischief once since you spoke to him about the stones to let him know the next time you saw him, the two of you would be escaping. He was nervous and apprehensive but you assured him that you had a plan. One he didn’t need to know all the details of.  

Rey was going over a lesson of power concentration, which mainly consisted of you focusing your power externally creating a light through your palms. It seemed simple enough but the light was blinding and wild, hard to control. You knew this was the final step before Thanos would ask you to cleanse the stone. This was the level he needed you to reach in order to fulfil your purpose.

‘But I won’t let it happen.’

When the lesson was complete, Rey walked out the door and met with Thanos. You could see the two of them speaking just outside the doorway which always made you nervous. Was Rey saying you were ready? Was he about to ask you to test yourself on the stone? You sat at the table and tried to look less neurotic, failing spectacularly. You hands fiddled with your dress, pulling the material into bunches on your thighs and flattening it back out again. A habit you developed since you began plotting against Thanos. A habit you hoped he hadn’t noticed.

You tried not to jump when his gloved hand landed on your shoulder. “Rey says you have done well today, little one.”

Shifting uncomfortably, you argued, “I could have been better.”

“Nonsense,” he said softly, ushering you out of the chair. “You have blossomed beautifully.” The two of you walked in relative silence to the Oasis, to eat dinner.

You were nonchalantly moving your food around with your fork, deep in thought, running over the day’s instruction. Power concentration. Pouring powers out of your body was most likely the best way to destroy the stones, perhaps concentrating them through your fingertips instead of your palms would allow more than one channel. If you practiced it again tomorrow, you might be able to….

“Y/n?”

Thanos’s voice was louder than usual, causing you to drop your fork. When you looked up and saw him sitting with his elbows on the table, fingers folded together, it dawned on you he must have been talking while you were lost in thought.

“I’m sorry,” you said, “What were you saying?”

His head tilted to the side as he asked, “What is on your mind, little one?”

Your chest tightened, but you cooly answered, “Just running over what Rey taught me today.” You mindlessly rubbed your forefinger and thumb together under the table, imagining the feeling of sparks forming and setting off a detonation. The stones could be destroyed, and it was only a matter of time.

That’s when it hit you. Like a thousand bricks came down to crush you, you realized something that hadn’t crossed your mind until now. You were so willing to sacrifice yourself in order to destroy the infinity stones, it didn’t resonate with you that in doing so, the explosion would most likely kill the titan as well. You felt a lump swell up in your throat. Could you kill Thanos?

His eyes narrowed though he didn’t press the matter more. The two of you went on with idle conversation and you knew he was taking more notice of your strange behavior. Since your last argument about cleansing the soul stone, you did your best not to test his limits. You took your lessons with Rey without a word and tried to maintain the same demeanor as before so as no to draw attention to yourself.

But Thanos wasn’t easily tricked. He could tell something was different about you. You hardly smiled, you barely spoke unless pressed, and you only took a few bites of your meals. Since cleansing the stone had been put into the equation, he knew you had become more distant. All he could do was continue on and hope once the process was complete you would understand and appreciate all of the work he had done for you.

The walk back was just as quiet until the door shut behind you. Thanos grabbed your shoulder, swinging you around to face him. Before you could process what he was doing, he took you in his arms and kissed you for the first time in days. A wave of emotions washed over you, realizing that any day now you would have to implement your plan and there was a real chance that Thanos would in fact die by your hand. The pain was too much to bear. You lost yourself to the passion, instinctively clinging to his shoulders, pulling him closer. Without letting you go, Thanos laid you both across the bed, his mouth still on yours, as his hands worked the fastenings of your dress.

If only for tonight, you would give in completely to your titan.

The next day, you were surprised to find Thanos still in bed with you. Lately he had been up well before you but this morning, he was still nestled up behind you, his face buried in your hair and his arms holding you tightly against him. You took one of his massive hands in yours, tracing the thick brings along his fingertips.

Tears began to swell up in your eyes. ‘Can I really do this?’ you asked yourself, feeling the pain in your chest as you questioned your own resolve. ‘Can I kill him?’ The lives you had lived before, burned inside of your mind, were still as vivid as ever, showing images of the two of you in love, embracing, kissing, making love, but also those of his brutality, snapping your neck, subjecting you to torture, strangling the life out of you. Tears fell freely down your cheeks while your fingers wrapped around his, giving it a tight squeeze. You loved him. You knew you did, no matter what. But he had to be stopped.

After Thanos left, you and Rey began you lessons, working for hours on hours. He demanded you show your skill, again and again, forming the light between your palms until it had numbed your hands.

“You may take a break,”  Rey instructed.

“No!” you barked back, “I can get this!”

Making the energy manifest out of your body was hard enough but holding it for the amount of time Rey deemed necessary was causing a sensation in your limbs like a millions ants crawling across your skin. Sweat trickled down your forehead and your legs quivered under the pressure. Finally he said enough and the light dissipated and you fell to your knees.

‘This has to become easier,’ you scolded yourself, ‘This is what I need to perfect for my plan to work.’

“Enough!” Rey was at your side and jerked you back onto your feet. You panted and shook your head.

“No, I can keep going.”

“If you keep going, you will do more harm than good.” Probably the first time Rey had ever shown any sympathy for you. He dragged you to the table and set you down with a glass of water.

Once he was sure you were alright, he excused himself. The table held food brought for lunch hours ago, food you knew you needed but could barely make yourself look at. With a sigh, you held a hand up and levitated a piece of fruit to you.

‘Easy.’

With a flick of the wrist, you sent it slamming into the wall. You levitated another piece and sent it into the bathroom, controlling it from the other room. Bringing it back to you, you snatched it out of the air and took a bite. Chewing, you mulled over ideas of how you would get the gauntlet from Thanos. That would be the biggest challenge. Mid chew, you eyed the bedroom door. On the other side you knew there were soldiers stationed. Soldiers with weapons. You swallowed. Without seeing the weapons, could you call them to you? And if so how strong was your reach?

You turned to face the door completely, lifting out of your chair, floating with your legs crossed. Clearing your mind, you could feel at least one. A spear. You were sure of it. You strained for a moment, trying to wrap your mind's eye around the object. You could hear the men begin to realize something was amiss.

Letting out a calmed breath, you urged the spear to you. The clanks of all the spears rained on the door and the men outside began to curse in confusion.

‘Come,’ you beckoned. Without noticing, the door to your room had opened and a sea of spears came hurling at you. Your eyes shot open, a cold sweat enveloping you. The door was open but the men were not by it. You stood, looking around puzzled as the spears came closer. Holding a hand out, you rushed your powers to your fingers and felt a sharp pain like electric currents come through, turning the weapons to dust.

Rey and Thanos came running. “What has happened here?” Rey barked at the men cowering in the hall.

“We don’t know!” one cried out.

“Our weapons slammed into the door and it…. opened!”

Thanos came in to find you, standing dumbfounded beside the ashes. “Was this you?” he asked.

Your eyes were wide, your jaw dropped. This wasn’t even what you meant to happen. You just wanted to see if you could move something in a room without seeing it. You never thought you could open the door, you never thought they would all come swarming at you.

“Y/n!” Rey yelled, “I told you to rest, this is not rest!”

Thanos held a hand out to silence the fish faced man, still staring at you intently. He saw the food, nearly untouched. You saw his brow furrow, his hand coming down hard on your shoulder as he steered you out the door. He called out to Rey, “Have them send dinner early to the Oasis. Y/n will not be practicing anymore today.”

Though he frowned, Rey agreed.

“I don’t need rest, I’m fine!” you argued. Thanos looked down to meet your face, his eyes clearly thrown off by your tone. You tried to calm yourself before repeating, “I’m fine. I can continue training.”

“No,” was all he said. When you sat at the table in the Oasis, you crossed your arms and pouted. You needed to work more You needed to perfect your skills. Any day now Thanos would force you to cleanse the stone and you had to be ready to implement your plan.

The food came and you could only stare at it. “Eat,” he demanded. Your lips pressed in a thin line, aggravated by the situation. But nonetheless, you complied.

You both ate in silence until Thanos finally said softly, “I’m sorry.”

“Come again?”

He looked up to meet your eyes. “I have put a lot of pressure on you. You have been working vigorously to perfect your abilities and I haven't taken into consideration that I may have pushed you to do so. For that, I am sorry.”

You felt a hard lump form in your chest, as the thought crept up your soul, ‘I’m sorry I’m going to betray you.’

TAGS!!!

@inumorph @aliebestraum @wolfangelwings@jessiejunebug @the-corruptor

[erlenmeyertrash]

An Oddish Occurrence

…so i had this one sudden headcanon thanks to @prinxietys‘ post yesterday and. well. here are a bunch of words on it now whoops

Logan loved vocabulary.

He adored the intricacies of the English language- how there are so many ways to describe what happens in the world, how many different paths can be taken to convey a message. Linguistics, to him, was a wildly important science in its own right, with its own theories, history, rules, rule exceptions, and near-constant evolution. The logical side always enjoyed learning slang. Word-association games were his favorite (and Patton’s puns, although often rudimentary, did slightly impress him with Patton’s innate understanding of subtle wordplay). He would fight to the death for the Oxford comma. He knew the subconscious order of adjectives (opinion size age shape color origin material purpose) by heart.

…and poetry? Oh, don’t get him started.

The technique, the brainpower, the skill behind finding words that matched in syllable and sound, putting them together to form coherent sentences and tell stories… Logan marveled at all of it. From Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales and Shakespearean sonnets to modern-day rap music, he definitely had a soft spot for brilliant balladry.

…That did not mean, however, he appreciated singing- specifically, Roman’s singing at 7:30 in the morning.

“Little town, it’s a quiet village

Every day like the one before

Little town, full of little people

Waking up to say…”

“FOR THE LOVE OF- DUDE. SHUT UP. IT’S SATURDAY.”

“…No, Sleeping Broody, the villagers all say Bonjour. That doesn’t even rhyme. Why would you think they s- HEY!”

Logan yawned and rolled out of bed, clumsily grabbing his glasses off the nightstand and adjusting them on his face as he did so. He heard Patton’s voice from the kitchen over Roman and Virgil’s bickering and sighed in relief- if anybody was well-versed in damage control, it was the fatherly side.

“All right, all right, you two. I know Thomas had an early start, what with the road trip and all, but it’s still a little early for fighting, don’cha think? Here- who wants to help with breakfast?”

The logical side perked up at the mention of food, getting dressed a bit faster before heading down the hall to the kitchen. Roman was pressing buttons on the coffeemaker with a dumbfounded expression; on the opposite side of the kitchen, Virgil was carefully pouring milk into a measuring cup as Patton rummaged through the fridge. At the sound of Logan’s footsteps, Patton glanced up and narrowly missed banging his head on the top of the fridge.

“Morning, Logan!”

Logan merely nodded in response, shuffling over and gently swatting Roman’s hands off the Keurig before pressing several buttons with well-practiced hands. Roman let out an indignant huff before reaching over to grab the cream and slide it closer.

“I could’ve figured it out, you know,” he grumbled, taking mugs out of the cabinet and passing them over. Logan just raised a sarcastic eyebrow in response.

Minutes later, the four of them were all gathered around the table, a steaming coffee cup and pancake plate sitting in front of each one.

“So!” Patton started brightly around a mouthful of pancake. He swallowed before continuing. “Since Thomas can kind of run on autopilot for this road trip, what does everybody have planned? I was just gonna watch him play on his old Gameboy- you guys have no idea how glad I am he found that thing!” The moral side wiggled in his seat, unable to contain his happiness.

“I was gonna rewatch Stranger Things,” Virgil replied, adding a fifth Splenda to his coffee. Roman wrinkled his nose in disgust before turning back to Patton.

“I will most likely spend a short while spinning up some trains of thought to use if Thomas gets bored, but… other than that, maybe polish my sword. Take a rest day. Ooh, maybe watch some old cartoons!”

Patton visibly brightened at Roman’s sudden idea. “Oh, my goodness, that sounds so fun! Can I join?”

“Why, of course! There is no one better to nostalgize with.”

Patton beamed before turning to Logan. “What about you, Logan? What did you wanna do today?”

Logan mulled for a moment. “Well, there’s no real schedule to adhere to, considering Thomas is traveling with friends at the moment. I may simply go through the memory record books and make sure everything is in order.”

…or at least, that’s what he wanted to say. When he opened his mouth to reply, foreign words suddenly spilled out before he could help himself.

“I wanna be the very best

Like no one ever was-”

Logan threw his hand over his mouth.

Patton blinked, grin wavering slightly. Virgil choked on his coffee. Roman snorted, glancing up in surprise.

“…Care to repeat that?”

I- I’m sorry, I don’t know what just-

“To catch them is my real test-”

Logan paled. …Oh, no.

It had happened before, on rare occasion; he had been lucky enough to be alone then.

Since Logan was the Side that most closely represented the brain- combined, he supposed, with his fascination with language- if a song ever got stuck in Thomas’ head, it seemed to… manifest… in Logan’s vocal chords. He was powerless to stop it from interfering with his own attempts at conversation.

It appeared that Thomas playing on his old gaming device, combined with Roman and Patton’s surge of nostalgic ideas, had caused Thomas to think of, of all things… the Pokemon theme song.

“To train them is-”

He bit down on his tongue. Hard. Glancing up, he realized Virgil looked slightly horrified, Patton looked a mix of confused and concerned, and realization was slowly dawning on Roman’s face as a devilish grin curled his lips.

“…What’s the matter, Logan? Meowth got your tongue?”

“I will battle every-”

Logan abruptly stood up from the table as Roman threw back his head in laughter. He opened and closed his mouth, realizing each time that his attempts at communication would fail, before turning and storming off to his room. His cheeks burned as Roman’s cackling followed him until he shut his door.

—

It wasn’t that he blamed Thomas. It was just that he was completely powerless until Thomas’ subconscious brain decided that was enough and moved on from its whimsical ploy.

It meant that Logan could be forced into embarrassed silence for a few seconds or a few hours. He suddenly remembered all the times those cringe-worthy radio pop songs had been stuck in Thomas’ head and shuddered involuntarily. Before, the logical side had holed up in his room and forced himself to fixate on anything else until he could open his mouth without Britney Spears or the likes of pouring out. Roman’s sudden light bulb moment involving old cartoons combined with Patton’s surge of happy nostalgia and Thomas’ lack of preoccupation had caught him completely off guard.

What would they think of him? He was Logic. He was supposed to be put-together, poised, and practical- not prone to sudden flights of fancy. Randomly bursting into song was much more Roman’s or Patton’s department; other than the fact that he was the likely the side most connected to the brain, it made very little sense for him to be the one to deal with these inopportune outbursts. Especially when Thomas had been in school, and studying- ugh. Those times had been the worst.

A sudden knock on the door pulled Logan out of his reverie; he glanced at it warily. If it was Roman, realizing what was happening and coming to poke fun at him…

“Hey, Logan. It’s me, Patton. Can I come in?”

Logan opened the door and Patton beamed before slipping into his bedroom. He glanced around, getting his bearings, before turning and fixing Logan with a concerned stare.

“…What was that? Are you okay?”

Logan opened his mouth to respond before stopping himself just in time. He looked down at his hands, then back at Patton, and nodded once before shrugging helplessly. He tried to convey that nothing was wrong, he was just… not perfectly all right.

Patton tilted his head. “…Did you lose your voice?”

Logan shook his head. Patton frowned.

“I want to help you, but if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, it might make it kinda difficult.”

“I know-”

Shush!

“…So you know? Why won’t you tell me?”

Logan clenched his fists in frustration. “Gotta-” NO-

“Gotta what?”

I’VE “GOTTA” WAIT THIS OUT BECAUSE I AM POWERLESS TO STOP IT-

But what came out was, “Each Pokemon to understand the power that’s inside!”

Patton’s jaw nearly hit the floor. “What is going on here?!”

Logan looked at him desperately, throwing his hands at the ceiling. “I know it’s my destiny-”

Patton looked panicked. “Did you- did something happen to Thomas? Did he hit his head?” The moral side stepped back for a moment, a pensive expression shadowing his features as he connected with Thomas’ feelings. After a moment, a wave of realization washed over his face- and then stark confusion.

“…Wait. So because he’s- that makes you-”

“Gotta catch ‘em all,” Logan sighed in affirmation.

“How long has this been going on?”

Logan glared at Patton, who grinned sheepishly. “Oh. Right. You kinda can’t- your vocabulary’s a little limited right now. Sorry.”

…Wait. An idea popped into Logan’s head at Patton’s words. His vocabulary may have been limited, but that didn’t necessarily mean he couldn’t communicate to some degree. After some quick recall of the lyrics, he carefully opened his mouth.

“It’s always been-”

“Huh?”

“It’s always been,” Logan repeated emphatically, gesturing towards Patton. I’m trying to answer your first question, please understand.

“It’s always- oh! You’ve always had this happen?”

Logan nodded.

“Any time Thomas gets a song stuck in his head?”

“‘Em all,” Logan confirmed.

Patton frowned. “…Why wouldn’t it happen to me or Roman, though?”

Logan thought for a moment. “I’ll teach,” he said slowly, gesturing to his glasses and necktie, before starting again. “-my rightful place.”

“Ohhh! Because your ‘place’ is like Thomas’ brain- that makes sense!”

Logan grinned and nodded. Patton was being remarkably perceptive.

“Why haven’t the rest of us noticed?”

Logan gestured to his room. “In a world we must defend.”

“You just hide in here?”

Logan shrugged before nodding in confirmation. It’s either that or sitting silently in the living room.

“How does it go away?”

“Our courage will pull us through.” The logical side shrugged.

“…What?” Patton scrunched up his face in confusion. Logan paused, thinking.

“The time is right,” he added.

“…It goes away when- ‘the time is right-’ so you just have to wait until Thomas stops thinking about it?”

Logan brightened at Patton’s successful deduction, giving him a thumbs-up.

“Well, until then, I’ll just be your translator! I might be a bit of a Slowpoke, but if you Digg-let me, I’ll catch on to what you mean pretty quick.” Patton looked absolutely elated at the new world of nostalgic puns he and Logan had just entered. Logan, hiding an internal groan, smiled at Patton’s helpful offer.

“Arm in arm, we’ll win the fight.”

“Sounds like a plan. Now- I know you didn’t finish your coffee or pancakes, and both of those are just too good to let go to waste… Weedle you say? Wanna head back? I won’t let Roman tease you too much- and I’ll explain to Virgil. You speaking so strangely kind of rattled him.”

“With courage I will face,” he said solemnly. Patton laughed before walking back over to the door.

“Well, come on then!”

“You’re my best friend.” Wait. Logan paused- he hadn’t meant to say that.

Patton just smiled softly at him; the laughter in his eyes was replaced by warmth. “Ditto.”

“Thomas, I get that playing on your old Gameboy is super fun, but can you please stop singing the Pokemon theme song under your breath? It’s getting stuck in my head now, too.”

“Huh? Oh! Sorry, Talyn.”

[theelvenreader-blog]

Character Profiles

Today, and for the past few weeks, I have been working on my character profiles, world-building, and thought dumping my fantasy novel. Since I could write books about all three topics, I’ve decided to talk about them in different posts as a series. Today will be character profiles, Wednesday will be thought dumping, and Friday will be world-building. As you’ve noticed, Monday’s post is   late (that would be today’s). I was busy yesterday and didn’t get around to finishing the post so it’ll just be today.

When I first started writing I thought you had to know everything about your world and characters right off the bat. I thought you were somehow a “bad writer” if you had to sit and think at all about your character’s personalities or your world’s government. Over time, however, I’ve realized it’s totally normal to have to sit and think about characters or worlds. 

Now, one of my favorite parts of writing are world building and outlining. I love researching themes and the insertion of “easter eggs” for readers to find. In order to do this, I have to do tons of research and thinking. They don’t just come to me as I’m character or world building. 

More of my favorite parts of the outlining phase are building complex characters (mainly going through my character profile template) and building rich cultures and parts of it like religions, politics, and since my college degree is in history, histories. 

Today’s post is in character profiles. I’ve built myself a pretty good process for myself (it’s nothing special but it get’s the job done): 

First thing I do is make a list of all my characters in my cast so far. If as I’m outlining or brain dumping I realize another character that is necessary for the plot I add them in immediately and do a character profile of them. Since I write fantasy I tend to sort this list into races of beings such as elves, dwarves, merpeople, humans, etc. I have a template on my computer that I can just open a copy of any time I need. This makes the process a lot easier for me. 

The goal is to get to know your characters like they’re people you know in real life, so you want to ask yourself a variety of questions to help you in that process. Try to think of as many questions as you can that you might ask someone you were trying to get to know. You can also look at other blogs or just online and get some ideas from other writers’ character profiles. Keep in mind many can get pretty detailed and pretty long. Some questions I ask myself are:

o  “What was their childhood like?”

o  “What is their romantic history?”

o  “What is their sexual history?”

o  “What Is their sexual orientation?”

o  “What is their sex?” Meaning their biology, not their gender.

o  “What is their gender?” This means what do they identify as. For instance, one of my character’s biology is male, but they identify as female or feminine.

o  “What are their hobbies. This involves something they enjoy doing outside the main plot of the story. For instance, they could be a warrior, but really like to knit in their free time.

o  If the story involves magical or supernatural elements, I ask myself what these powers entail and what their limits are (power’s limits are very important, but we’ll talk about this in another post)

o  I also ask myself what they look like, and either try to draw them myself or find an image on google for reference. I also do a drawing of a few pieces of clothing they would wear and some of their favorite objects

It’s also important that you aren’t afraid to make your characters quirky or enjoy strange activities. You want your characters memorable and original to themselves so if a quirky or different hobby is what makes sense for the character, go for it. Brown eyes and hair are common, so you might want to include a bit in your story. Especially amongst fantasy writers, it’s really popular for many characters to have lavender eyes, blue eyes, green eyes, ANYTHING but brown eyes. Be realistic here. 

As an example, here is an example of one of my own character profiles. This is for my protagonist in my current WIP, which used to be called Freedom Bringer but is now unnamed because I didn’t think the name suit the fantasy genre or story the way I wanted it to. I’ve omitted/deleted some parts that are spoilers for the book.

You’ll notice that I based this character profile closely on Jenna Moreci’s on her blog. You should check both her and her blog and youtube channel out and definitely her character profile. Her writing is great and a great deal of what I know I learned from her.

Character Profile: Fäel (pronounced like fay-EL)

Based on the example given by Jenna Moreci on her blog: count blogula

CATEGORY #1: BASIC STATISTICS

Sex: Male

Gender: He identifies as masculine, but he’s not an alpha male. He’s actually quite small. If he was in public school in our world, he would probably be teased for being “puny”.

Age: 250 years old, but if I had to compare this to a human age it would be somewhere between 19 and 21 years old.

Race, Ethnicity, Culture: Feräan (a race of elves that usually has brown hair and the ability to control fire. The most common race of elves)

Height: 5’ 7”

Body Type: Thin build. Think adolescent boy. You would never guess that he is fully grown if you took a good look at him. Though this is probably mostly due to malnutrition.

Appearance: Short, Straight as a board Almond colored hair

He is fairly short for an elf. Around 5’7” in American human measurements. Slightly darker tan complexion. Elves do not normally get acne, so his skin is very clear. Narrow face with defined rounded jawline, cheekbones not high but not super low eitherSmall hands with narrow, feminine fingers, which have been hardened and callused from heavy slave labor. Though he is normally given very demanding labor, he still isn’t muscular. He can definitely lift a bit more than before, but elves don’t grow muscle or muscle mass very easily, so he stays relatively small in stature.Thin build, not much muscle mass but fairly strong as well.Lips a light coral color, nothing special. Shape of lips resemble a heart at the cupid’s bow.Fairly large round forehead.Full eyebrows with a few strands in the middle where a unibrow would be (not a full unibrow, just a couple of hairs)

Where are they from? Fael was born in the elven realm but since he was 50 years old (a toddler) he has been in the Kingdom of Türmé because of the elven slavery. Because of this, he doesn’t remember the elven realm at all.

Describe their Childhood: His parents, the king and queen of the elven people (and therefore all magical creatures) died in battle during the first Elven-Mankind war 235 years ago. Since then, his people have been enslaved by the humans. The human king has a way of making sure he is completely miserable. For example, he gives him the hardest labor and insists he stands in the front of every whipping and execution.

CATEGORY #2: RELATIONSHIPS

Family: Fäel’s biological family is dead. However, he has many elves he considers family, and therefore so do I. Baelym, for instance, is his caretaker. Fäel sees him as an older brother. Not quite a father, even though Baelym does tend to act like his father at times.

Friends: Mäikash is Fael’s best friend. You could say these two are so close they are like brothers, but the extent of their relationship is that of a friendship, not family. Fäel doesn’t have any other friends at the beginning of the book but gains more as he grows as an individual and gains knowledge of the outside world.

CATEGORY #3: THE SEXY STUFF

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

What are they Attracted to? Fäel is attracted to both men and women who have their own sense of responsibility. They know what they must do and do it. Even if this means they give up what they want. Normally the physical aspects he is attracted to is strength. He also tends to be attracted to lighter colored hair and chiseled facial features. He likes the look of facial hair, but doesn’t like the feeling when he kisses someone with it. In terms of women, he’s attracted to women with medium sized breasts and strong shoulders.

Sexual Experience: Fael is a complete virgin. He hadn’t even thought of the idea of sex until he and Mäikash had their conversation about sexuality.  

Romantic Experience: Like his sexual experience, Fael hadn’t thought much about romance until later in the book. He had thought about having a wife and he in the beginning of the book has a dream about his future with a wife and son. He never really becomes completely in tune with the sexual side of him like Mäikash, but becomes much more comfortable. CATEGORY #4: SKILLS

Skills: Fäel is really good at working with his Magic. He can handle it with more stress than others can and it is more powerful than usual.  He’s also not bad at all in sword fighting (though not as good as his Magic). He takes this from his grandfather, Sälavel. Who died in battle thousands of years ago.

Occupation/Schooling: Elven Prince, Slave to the Royal Kingdom of the Türmé. Later King of Ferä. Elves are forbidden from learning the elven language, though they learn to speak it anyway, very few know how to write or read. Fael can write a little, but he definitely couldn’t write an academic paper or even full sentences.

Hobbies: Practicing sword fighting and magic is one of his favorite things to do. He hides himself in the forest from anyone else and will practice setting things on fire and hitting trees with a sword. Türmé will go out to the forest and wonder why everything looks burnt and slashed, but they have never been able to find out who it was. Even after many searches of elves and tents. If he had access to books or even literature he would be a very avid reader.

Magical/Supernatural Abilities: Like any other Ferä, he has the ability to manifest fire. This means he can do anything from lighting a fireplace to making fire appear in thin air (if it’s directly above his hand or protruding from it like a flamethrower). He cannot, however, do this if he feels pressured or over stressed, or if his magic is taken away from him 

CATEGORY #5: PERSONALITY & CHARACTER

Introvert or Extrovert? Though he is an introvert, he’s very good at hiding this when he is around other elves that don’t know him as anything other than a prince. He doesn’t have anxiety toward crowds or company, he just prefers to be alone or with a very small amount of people at once.

Right-Brained or Left-Brained? Fael is very, very left brained. He thinks about everything very logically and doesn’t cling to his emotions. He has been trained by his caretaker to follow his duties as a prince and he refuses to rebel from this, rather following his path and accepting anything that is given to him. He thinks through every problem as if it is a puzzle with one correct, logical solution he needs to follow.

Strengths: Fael can easily separate emotions from duties or actions. Even if he feels emotional or vulnerable he can completely hide that until it is completely safe to show it. He can hide his weaknesses very well to the point that everyone thinks he has no weaknesses. Because of this, he comes across as very charismatic, which isn’t completely wrong. He just prefers not to be around large groups. Weaknesses:Fael can, however, have problems finding when he needs help and asking when he needs it. He is in the mindset at first that he needs to do everything on his own, which he later learns isn’t necessarily the case. He also has quite a bit of physical weaknesses but these are more obvious because of his small stature. He’s still stronger than a human adult. But compared to an elven adult of his age he is fairly weak.

Goals/Dreams/Aspirations: As a child he would dream of becoming a king and freeing the elves. As he became older these dreams would fade and he would seek to accept the hard lifestyle he leads as an elven slave. By the inciting incident he starts to grow a new goal.

Beliefs/Affiliations: Most elven races follow a polytheistic religious belief that believes that there are 8 gods that control each element of the universe that establishes balance. These elements are Light, Fire, Earth (for instance dirt, trees, rocks), Water, Darkness, Beauty, Power, and Knowledge.

Fears: He has an extreme fear of death. He does learn to deal with this fear over time, but he initially does have panic attacks over the idea of dying and this drives his motivation to make the decision to run away with Mäikash and convince Baelym to come with. Fael also has some other fears, such as his obscure fear of chickens.  

Insecurities: He knows he is very small for his age and race, but this doesn’t bother him until someone says that they would be worried if he were the Ferä king because he wouldn’t be very powerful. After this he starts to pay attention to how small he is and this continues to be an insecurity of his throughout his adventure. What would he Die for? His best friend and caretaker. Eventually his wife and child.

[youdecode]

117 Love ‌Affirmations For Him | Soulmate Affirmations For Love That Work

 Why use affirmations to manifest what we want?

Because one cannot deny the power they possess.

Apart from using affirmations for love if you absolutely feel the need of a loving soul mate then check this program out.

Why not learn from the experts?

Why not invest in something that actually has the capability of tuning your life around.

Because you deserve the best. 

Affirmations are not just spoken words which you mindlessly chatter. Rather they are the seeds for your belief system.

The words you say are the reflection of your thought and they have the capability to sink into your subconscious mind.

You know that a difference between a successful person and an unsuccessful one is the manner in which one controls the subconscious mind.

This is one big heavy word and rightfully owns great importance.

It is the side of mind which holds “belief” and “belief” simply dictates your life . . . the action you take and the things you attract (law of attraction).

Why am I telling you all this?

Because one of the tools through which you reach your subconscious mind is “affirmation”.

It takes time to shape a belief.

If you will say today that the specific person is madly in love with you then it would not help much.

Why?

Because it takes repetition. It takes time to get this statement drilled into your head.

Once you start believing/affirming, the person is bound to fall madly in love with you, even if one is not initially.

These are all the games of science.

The like energy attracts the like energy and then you get hit by the realities matching the same frequencies.

Yes, it is very much scientific. Key thing:

Nature opens up ways for you BASED on your belief.

We have talked about why affirmation is a powerful tool to reach the subconscious mind that is to shape a belief through repetition.

We have also established then why it is vital it to control your subconscious mind that is to manifest only what and according to the beliefs.

So it all started with affirmation you say Eisha?

Well, yes.

And affirmation is not limited to the typical statements which you might have seen in the past.

The affirmation is anything you affirm by repeatedly.

If you constantly speak negatively about yourself then that affirmation is also going to sink into your subconscious mind.

Never joke around or demean yourself repeatedly as you are going to establish limited beliefs.

 Also Here Are Some Related Massively-Transformative Resources You Will Ever Need.

1100+ Daily Journal Prompts for Self Discovery

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LOVE AFFIRMATIONS AND HOW TO USE THEM EFFECTIVELY

 Let’s talk something about love affirmations.

If you will repeatedly say negative things about your past relations and breakups then it is very likely that you will attract the same sort of energy.

Your words are loaded with creative power.

What?

Well, this means that you are constantly creating things/realities through your words.

If you want to attract quality relations or situations then just affirm happy living things related to it, leaving all toxicity behind.

Are you like Eisha, not all things we say turn to reality?

Let me clear this confusion of yours.

Every word which comes to your mouth that is loaded with feeling and gets repeated is an affirmation.

An affirmation is a belief capable of making or breaking your life.

Spoken words have the capability of changing your feelings which in turn align you with your desires.

Let’s see some practice suggestions:

Prefer repeating the affirmations right after you wake up for setting the tone of the day

Include affirmations numerous times in your daily schedule.

Repeating them before sleeping as a subconscious mind is most receptive at night. This simply means that whatever you say is more likely to sink in faster.

In total repeat at least 15 times each day.

There are several ways of practicing affirmations. That is you can script them out, mentally repeat or both. I suggest going for both as that is effective.

This blogpost covers several affirmations, you can focus on a few of them per week.

Get the print of these affirmations here, so you easily repeat, remember, and paste on your wall.

You might not resonate with all the information listed below, so start with the ones which seem to evoke emotions, or make you feel positive.

You need to dissolve some barriers which might be hurdling your way for manifesting the love of your life or a specific person.

Repeating affirmations correctly (that is with feelings) is not that simple because you will be challenged with the limiting thoughts.

You will meet with unworthiness, negativity, and doubt.

How to sort this problem?

By replacing these affirmations with something positive.

What is that SOMETHING?

Don’t crease your forehead girl, got you covered below:

 22 AFFIRMATIONS TO INCREASE FAITH IN THE PROCESS OF MANIFESTATION:

 I affirm that the universe manifests my soulmate at the perfect time.

The Law of Attraction works in the same way for each individual

I now believe that i can completely change my life by altering by thoughts

I am beginning a new journey and starting a process of manifesting my soulmate

I believe in myself and I own the ability to manifest true and lasting love.

I use my thoughts and feelings effectively for manifesting my soulmate.

I am capable of attracting perfect scenarios and perfect love.

I trust myself to attract the perfect partner.

I can now sense my connection with the love around me.

I own divinely inspired thoughts, words & actions.

Whenever I see others in love I take it as a signal that love is getting closer to me.

The Universe has always led me to my highest good and doing the same right now in the domain of love.

I only send loving thoughts because they create my future

I affirm that my feelings are capable of transforming my life

Universe will deliver my soul mate at the perfect time.

Everyone can experience love and romance.

I am attracting love by creating it inwardly first.

I am attaching the loving relationship I desire, easily and effortlessly.

With the persistent law of attraction, I can create loving conditions.

My ability to love is growing stronger each day.

Universe has planned a fulfilling relationship with a loving partner for me.

I know I will meet my soulmate at the perfect place and time.

To attract love in your life, a vital aspect which many miss out is their ability to prioritize themselves.

Self-love is the brick without which you will not find others falling in love with you.

Know you are worthy by birth and that is the only truth.

This blogpost specifically deals with the 219 self-worth affirmations.

Do not forget this one vital foundational step and affirm.

Please Pin It For Later Reference Fam!

11 AFFIRMATIONS FOR FEELING WORTHY OF LOVE:

 Confidence comes naturally to me

I deserve love and respect

I deserve an honest, sincere & affectionate soul mate.

We all are entitled to love and romance and so am I.

I am perfect and complete as is.

I am worthy of a healthy & fulfilling relationship with someone special.

I deserve all the romance and love which all other people are experiencing

I am worthy of a loving relationship.

I am deeply in love with myself.

My love for myself is increasing each day

I approve of myself as is

Find More Insanely Powerful Self Worth Affirmations Here.

15 AFFIRMATIONS TO GIVE SIGNAL TO UNIVERSE

 With these sets of affirmations, you are telling the universe that you are ready.

I have opened my heart for a fulfilling and loving relationship.

I have a lot of space in my heart for a loving partner.

I am allowing love to enter into my life right now.

I am receptive to the love energy around me.

I am accepting that romance is rightfully for me.

I am trying to love more each day.

I am choosing love to enter every part of my life.

I am ready to fall deeply in love.

I am aligning myself with the energy of love.

I can feel that my soulmate is about to enter my life.

I am receiving love easily and effortlessly.

I will meet my soulmate very soon.

I allow myself to fall in love

My thoughts and actions are tuned with my intention of manifesting a soul mate.

Falling in love is safe for me

18 AFFIRMATIONS FOR OVERCOMING BARRIERS TO LOVE AND FULFILLMENT:

 I am releasing all my limiting beliefs right now

I am moving into a perfect life, fading away from the past

I am releasing all the negative energies and thoughts

I am believing only positive thoughts about me

I am forgetting the past to manifest my soulmate

I am releasing all the negativity that is preventing me from manifesting a loving relationship.

I am clearing all emotionally draining people from my life.

Nothing can prevent love from coming to me.

I am trusting the wisdom of the Universe

I allow myself to experience the intimacy & pleasure of a loving relationship.

I am releasing those people who will never commit to me.

Every situation that is not meant for me is fading away from my life.

I am embracing the truth and releasing worn-out beliefs

I attract only those people who respect me.

I am not desperate about love. I releasing the desperation/

I can choose what I want in a relationship.

I will not allow my past to influence my future.

I know a door closes to open a better one.

51 AFFIRMATIONS FOR MANIFESTING LOVE & ROMANCE

It is up to you to decide which affirmations you would add in your daily life.

These affirmations will turn into your belief system easily if you will choose the affirmations which make you feel most positive. 

I am all set to manifest soulmate.

True love is coming on my way

I am attracting a romantic life partner who will emotionally get involved with me.

I am attracting an affectionate life partner who is madly in love with me.

My heart is all ready to receive love.

Perfect love is coming to me now and I am thankful

I am grateful for the loving experiences that fill my life with joy.

I own all the personality and qualities that someone wants in a soul mate.

I am attracting an affectionate spouse.

I am ready to meet the love of my life.

I am attracting a relationship based on mutual love and respect.

I am all set to fall in love with someone who loves me as much as I love him.

I am attracting a person who is ready for a serious relationship.

I am sending out the love in the universe which I desire to experience.

I can see myself in an amazing relationship filled with love and romance.

The Universe is supporting my desire for a fulfilling relationship.

Love is just coming to me

Someone special is on my way

I own the spirit of eternal love

I am a magnet of an irresistible wonderful relationship

I willing to share my life with an affectionate partner

I use my mind to create my mind

My future is full of boundless love

I am meeting with loving opportunities each day

Love is available to me in abundance

I seek love and it is seeking me

Love is my divine right

I am focusing on just feeling, thoughts and expectations of love

I and my soulmate are brought together magnetically by the energy of love

My love reflects the respecs I have for myself

I can reach true love

I am sending more love and I am receiving more love

I see the love in every situation

Nothing is delayed manifestation of my partner

My life is filled with loving people

I was meant to have a relationship with a partner who loves and adores me unconditionally.

I radiate the energy of love and it comes back to me

I and my soul mate share an unbreakable bonds

Thinking of love makes me happy

My desire to manifest my soulmate is turning into reality

I am giving more attention to love so I am attracting more love.

My soul mate will support me in all loving ways.

Now It’s time for me to fall in love.

I am attracting the best one for myself

I am attracting a perfect love

I am in the right place at the right time to meet my soulmate.

I am consciously and actively creating a loving reality.

I am grateful for the fast entry of my soul mate in my life

I am using my imagination for experiencing the love I desire

I am thankful for the love that is moving in my life speedily

Love finds me wherever I go.

   Before you go Know This Secret:

Through this affirmation, you are making your wishes concrete.

But there are other powerful ways as well. . .

There is a world . . .

Where everything you want in life . . .

Can actually come true.

In this place…

You only have to close your eyes and dream…

And what you dream of…

Becomes reality.

These affirmations for manifesting your soulmate is not a filler.

But if you want proven help from an expert then here you go. 

Can’t wait to see what amazing, “dream world” you create! 

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[latefrequencies]

.

I’ve had this in mind for a while and I’ve meant to like Actually Look Shit Up regarding this (and I have Looked Some Shit Up although none of it was shit that was quite helpful) and I don’t expect there to be a lot of documentation on this topic at all but I know that a lot of my followers know about a lot of random and sometimes ““unusual”“ things so

have any of you heard anything about what I can best describe as non-sexual masochism? That is, when you like pain in a way that isn’t sexual. like if you’re a sexual masochist, you enjoy pain because you have a response of sexual arousal (I mean, not to all pain ofc but like that is a reaction that a sexual masochist has to pain in at least some contexts). In my situation though it’s like pain is just enjoyable in general? like I’ve said as a sort-of-kind-of-not-really joke that “the three sensations I like are showers, wearing a sweater after a shower, and pain, mostly the last one” (this is not entirely wrong because I cannot actually think of another physical experience I like other than those three things. sometimes wearing a sweater in general is nice. it doens’t have to be after a shower. I’m getting sidetracked.)

anyway like. non-sexual masochism. the experience of enjoying pain for reasons that are not linked to sex, sexuality, or sexual pleasure, just pleasure in general.

I am very much not talking about self-defeating personality disorder because that comes up every time I try to look up anything about non-sexual masochism (hell, sometimes when I resort to looking up masochism in general). because that’s basically about putting yourself through situations where you’ll suffer on a non-physical level, like emotionally or mentally or smth, I’m just talking about plain and simple physical pain. like, there’s getting yourself into a relationship you know will end badly or undermining your chances for success or something and then there’s banging your arm on something or getting cut by something and I am talking about the latter thing.

(also: this is part of what my self-harm is about. it used to be purely a stress-relief, punishment, violence-relieving, or weird-response-to-psychosis thing but my brain for whatever reason ended up eventually reading it as a pleasurable experience - probably because at some point I ended up doing it very very often and that included shortly before, during, or shortly after experiences I found pleasurable on a non-physical level. I was a masochist before that as I can remember being as young as 14 and finding that I liked the sensation of hitting my arm really really hard with my fist or sometimes another object, putting hand sanitizer into non-self-inflicted cuts, or pressure that was strong enough to be painful. also no I don’t consider all self-harm to be enjoyable, this is why sometimes I say that things that remind me of self-harm are Scary, but usually the times where it’s not enjoyable at all is when there’s too much blood, that kind of freaks me out because sometimes I go too hard or too deep and it’s kind of upsetting? to not know when the blood is gonna stop? like I’ve literally ended up with my legs actually caked in blood and it felt weird to move them because have you ever had paint on your body and then you moved and the paint like kinda “cracked” because your skin moved? yeah it was like that. but that’s the only part I don’t like the pain itself is great.)

also I know about the word “algophilia” (it means “enjoying pain”) but that’s just a word I’ve encountered in my research and if I try to actually look it up, I get largely sexually-related things? even though my understanding is that the word “algophilia” was supposed to relate to non-sexual pain enjoyment as opposed to “algolagnia” which was about sexual pain enjoyment?

I’ve read about people trying to relate masochism In General to various disorders and. with me, I just don’t think it’s like that at all? like people have related it to intrusive thoughts and feelings of unworthiness and..no, it’s not intrusive, I don’t think things, I do them (and yes I know that doing something generally requires a little bit of thought beforehand but there’s a difference between “all day I’ve been having thoughts about doing a thing and I don’t really like this” and going “hm I think I want to do this thing right now, I’m going to do it”. it’s like “all day long I have not been able to stop thinking about coffee” vs “I want some coffee right now I’m going to make some”. that’s a silly example maybe but it gets the point across.)

if it is related to anything clinical, I guess it’s probably related to the anhedonia caused by many of my disorders? In the sense that it is related to the fact that there is a very limited range of things I can and do enjoy, and pretty much my only physical pleasure (and certainly the only really big one - the stuff about showers and sweaters is pretty minor compared to most manifestations of pleasure) is something that other people would consider painful and? maybe? maaaybe that’s an anhedonia thing? maybe ?

This very much became less “do you know anything” and more “I’m really weird just let me tell you about this” but. yeah. anyway .

(also because I’m v mentally scattered righ tnow I probably may make posts at some later point today because I forgot to say somthing in this post but also maybe I might say the same thing again by accident just accept that this weirdness is happening I’l always give a warning in the tags or the start of the post or w/e so none of you have to read this if you don’t want to)

[comm10zerrudo]

FILIPINO COMMUNICATIVE BEHAVIOUR

by Group 4 - Sec 13 Our group, upon discussion have come to the realization that as unfortunate as it may be, all of Lacson’s observations are actually an accurate depiction of the behavioral mentality Filipinos possess. Although each member relates with different syndromes and theories stated by Lacson, there were 2 main syndromes stated in the reading that we feel applied to all of us. These 2 syndromes are namely “The Convenience Approach to Living” and The Sense of Humor and Rumor”. In discussing “The Convenience Approach to Living” all members in the group felt as though they were guilty of not just finding more convenient methods of doing things but prioritizing our own comfort as well, to the point where in we don’t care what it might cost us. We’ve all experienced being in a car while a family member runs a red light with little or no regard as to how dangerous and inconsiderate, he or she is being to others and if were being completely honest most of us have normalized this type of behavior. In “The Sense of Humor and Rumor”, one thing that really hit home is our unfading sense of humor and our tendency to spread rumors. One part of this behavior positively depicts our resilience, knowing one of our remarkable characteristics is being optimistic even when facing hardships. We’d purposely point out our problems and joke about them as we make fun of ourselves in attempt to feel relief and temporarily be at ease. This just shows how we always try to seek the bright side of any situation. On the flip side, spreading rumors has also been one of our toxic traits. As much as we hate to admit it, we grew up in a society of “chismosos/chismosas” and later on, we unconsciously became one as well. We are fond of talking about other people’s issues and create a big deal out of them to make ourselves feel as if we are better than those people.

Aside from the examples mentioned by Lacson, another clear manifestation of sayang and libre mindset are very evident during fiestas where people, after eating an amount of food past their limit would still take advantage of the free food by taking the tira-tira home. The Deprivation-Deservation Syndrome is encapsulated in this situation since it’s an event wherein something is given out for free and guests would often tend to think that events like these do not come around as often and so overindulge in consuming foods and even take some home. The KSP Syndrome and the Quest for Ownership and Credit Seeking is expressed in terms as to how most of social media users tend to post minuscule achievements like winning something from an arcade game and try to “milk it” to everyone around them, to the best of their ability. The Convenient Approach to living is conveyed with Filipinos being late to events because of an implied term most of us have gotten used to, called “Filipino Time”. The Sense of Humor and Rumor is rendered when a tragedy strikes, and Filipinos tend to meme about their current situation, an example would be joking about using swimming gears during floods. Lastly, The Sense of Accountability is demonstrated when government agencies tend to favor people who they have close relations with. Relatives and friends of government officials have special benefits and are somewhat treated as VIP’s at times to certain events and gain certain advancements in the work area and/or simple events.

The observations by Lacson could very much be the result of socio-historical and cultural influences. Various countries who colonized our country years ago, actually played and still play a big role in molding our culture today. These colonizations have changed the way in which we function and have shaped what we deem as “a normal thing to do or think”. Perhaps the way we comedically deal with sad situations in our lives was a result of the American colonization, since it is normalized in their culture to make fun out of a serious situation. Through time, the Filipino people adapted to other cultures and somehow shaped own unique way of going about life, that still somehow resembles some of these foreigners defining characteristics. Additionally, America wasn’t the only country to make such a big impact of the Filipinos mannerisms, behaviors and tendencies. There were other countries such as Spain, China, etc. who greatly affected how Filipinos developed their own sense of character. . In fact, the Filipino character has been described as a mix of Hispanic and Asian cultures. For instance, the spirit of kinship is thought to be inherited from our Malay ancestors, the concept of close family ties is from the Chinese, and the idea of big festivities is from Latin Americans (Hays, 2015). However, our group thinks that it’s worth mentioning that aside from the many talents that Filipinos take pride from, one of the things that makes Filipinos recognizable are our unique mindsets. Filipinos have developed certain traits branching from the distinct mindsets that are commonly opposite to other cultures. Take Filipino time for an example, unlike Americans who put much value on time, Filipinos tend to come at their convenience, thinking that the other party might sharing the same mindset. May it be negative or otherwise, our Filipino pride is rooted not only in what cultural significance we have brought about in the past, but it is in how we are remembered by other nationalities as well. What makes a Filipino a Filipino are not just the good traits such as hospitality and kindness. To truly be a Filipino is to accept the negative aspects we possess as well.

References:

Hays, J. (2015). “Filipino Character and Personality: Hiya, Amor Propio, Emotions and the Influences of Catholicism, Asia and Spain” Retrieved from: http://factsanddetails.com/southeast-asia/Philippines/sub5_6c/entry-3867.html?fbclid=IwAR1iFwZQ35cg2MUKqYjq2k_RXchZPc0rWataD16T0D7TNdK8Y4DfYLJvHKU. Lacson, J.R. (2015). “Mindsets of the Filipino: A Research Agenda for Filipino Communicative Behaviour” Modesto Farolan Professorial Chair (2001) College of Mass Communication.

[viraljournalist]

Astros' Carlos Correa, struggling recently, comes up big with walk-off HR vs. Yankees

New Post has been published on https://viraljournalist.com/astros-carlos-correa-struggling-recently-comes-up-big-with-walk-off-hr-vs-yankees/

Astros' Carlos Correa, struggling recently, comes up big with walk-off HR vs. Yankees

HOUSTON — The 2019 season has been a trying one for the Astros’ Carlos Correa. Injuries have limited his availability and production, and even when he returned to the active list for the postseason, he struggled to find the timing at the plate that made him one of the game’s brightest young stars. That timing returned on Sunday, and it was just in time for Houston.

Correa homered to opposite field off Yankees lefty J.A. Happ on the first pitch of the bottom of the 11th, giving the Astros a desperately-needed 3-2 win over New York on Sunday. As the series shifts to Yankee Stadium for Game 3 on Tuesday, both teams head east with one win on the board.

“Going into that last inning I thought, ‘I got this’,” Correa said. “I felt like I got this. And I had the right approach against [Happ]. I’ve been successful against him going the other way. And that’s what I tried to do. I saw a good pitch down the middle and I drove the other way.”

The Astros might not have been in position for Correa’s heroics if not for a great defensive play he made to prevent a run in the bottom of the sixth.

With two outs and runners on first and second, Brett Gardner struck a hard-hit liner at Houston second baseman Jose Altuve and the ball took an in-between hop. Recognizing the difficulty of the play, Correa ranged over from his position at shortstop and corralled the errant ball. DJ LeMahieu raced around third towards the plate with what would have been the lead run. But the strong-armed Correa gunned down him at the plate.

“The second I saw him come over and make a clean catch of the ball and come up and ready to throw, honestly I thought he was out,” said Astros starter Justin Verlander, whose solid 6 2/3 innings got lost in the glare of Correa’s night. “It went from, ‘Crap!’ to ‘We got this guy, we got an extra out!’ It was just incredible.”

According to Statcast, Correa covered 58 feet to retrieve the ball on the play and then unleashed an 87-miles-per-hour throw to catcher Robinson Chirinos to get LeMahieu.

“As an infielder I know how tough it is to catch a ball that’s a line drive right at you in between,” Correa said. “So as soon as I knew that it was going to crash in between I was creeping over. When it hit him and I saw the ball go my way I just went after it. And I grabbed it and when I looked up and I saw he was sending the runner, I thought, ‘Oh, I got this guy.’ So I threw him out. I don’t know why he sent him, but, thank you.”

As the innings advanced, a Houston lineup that has struggled to score consistently in the face of elite pitching this October grew increasingly frustrated. Before Correa’s game-winner, the Astros had hit 19 balls with an exit velocity of at least 95 miles per hour during the first two games of the series, but had just five hits to show for them. The Yankees, on the other hand, had 14 hits on their 23 hard-hit balls.

At one point in the eighth, Astros slugger Yordan Alvarez, the favorite to win this season’s AL Rookie of the Year award, struck out against lefty Zack Britton and snapped his bat by pounding it into the ground near home plate. When Correa’s homer left the ballpark, it wasn’t quite a catharsis because the ever-confident Astros felt like it was due to happen anyway.

“We’re just going to keep getting to the next at-bat, keep letting the next hitter do his job [against] the pitching that comes in,” Hinch said. “It’s all about winning today’s game. And our guys are responding perfectly to the difficulty in beating those guys.”

Correa hit .279 with 21 homers during the season but played in only 75 games, first suffering fractured ribs in May then later injuring his back in August. He wasn’t cleared to rejoin the club for the playoffs until shortly before Houston started its ALDS series against the Rays. Correa played in only three big league games during September.

While Correa’s defense has been sharp throughout October, the rust was apparent when he was at the plate. Entering Sunday, Correa was hitting .136 with a .318 OPS and one RBI over six postseason outings. However, he felt so good during batting practice before Game 2, that his teammates in the dugout were telling him he would be the hero.

“Going into that last inning I thought, ‘I got this’,” Carlos Correa said after his walk-off home run on Sunday. “I felt like I got this.” Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

They were right and, it turns out, Correa believed them.

“I mean, he knew he was gonna end it when the pitching change came in,” Astros third baseman Alex Bregman said. “He told us, then he did it.”

Correa doubled in the second and in the sixth drove Yankees center fielder Brett Gardner to the fence with a deep drive to left-center. But the final proof that his swing may — at last — be coming around didn’t manifest until the 11th, when he jumped on a Happ fastball and sent 43,359 orange-clad fans home happy. But no one was happier than Correa.

“It’s huge, it’s huge,” Correa said. “We came to the ballpark knowing we had to win this game, no matter how we had to win this game. JV on the mound and I knew our lineup was going to do what we do throughout the whole year, and that’s put great at-bats together as a team. And we were able to do that today and we got the win.”

As young as the 24-year-old Correa still is, he’s already joined a select group of hitters have had had multiple game-ending hits during postseason play. He’s had two of them now — the other coming against the a Yankees in Game 2 of the 2017 ALCS. Only David Ortiz (three) has had more. Alfonso Soriano, Edgar Renteria, Bernie Williams, Paul Blair and Goose Goslin also had two.

“Moments like this like tonight make everything worth it,” Correa said. “Nights of hard work, doing my rehab, not missing anything, it’s all worth it when you look at moments like this.”

Any win in October is big, but this one not only saved the Astros from falling into an 0-2 hole with three games looming in the Bronx, but it set up Houston to grab the edge in the showdown with red-hot ace Gerrit Cole taking the mound on Tuesday. That in itself is a very different perspective than the Astros might have had on the their flight to New York had Correa not come through on both side of the ball.

But he did, and suddenly the Astros have their superstar shortstop back in fully functional form.

“We’ve always said he’s a big part of our offense, big part of our defense, big part of our team,” Hinch said. “He’s usually hitting third, fourth or fifth, but on this team we’ve pushed him down a little bit, coming back from injury.

“You can see the impact that we love so much about him. And you look at his RBI totals in the postseason, you look at his walk-offs, you look at the big moments. He’s a pretty special man.”

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[wishingfornever]

9/12/17 – No Contact:  Cheat Day?

I’m being bad.  I grabbed a popcorn ball.  Just one and I’ll be done with them.  They’re one of my favorite Halloween treats.  Halloween is my favorite holiday.  You know this.  I kind of missed it last year.  I was super disappointed. :/

There was something I wanted to talk about from yesterday but I can’t remember right now. So, instead, I’ll tell you about my… breakfast maybe?  Not that healthy.  A bunch of bellpeppers, tomato, and onions.  Cheese and ham too, so as I said… not that healthy.  Also, I added avocado.  I hate wasted food and avocado goes bad pretty fast.  So, I cut out the bad part and ate the rest.  I guess I’ll have another sandwich of the same style later on and also with a full avocado. I remember.  We through out that lemon meringue pie and the funnel cake.  My dad couldn’t finish it and I refused to touch it, so it was in the garbage.  Of which, I also through out the garbage cans. That means we’ll need to get new cans here.  Through out that tarp, through out everything.  Especially that lemon meringue pie and funnel cake. I hate wasted food.  I feel bad that I didn’t have any but I’d feel bad if I had even a slice.  I’m committing and I have to choose my guilt.  Right now, my guilt is ham and cheese with a side of popcorn ball.  :D Delicious, delicious guilt.

I’m feeling pretty awake so after I finish the popcorn ball I’ll get started on exercise.  Then maybe I’ll get back to my book.  I know you see what I post on Facebook.  I know you’ve seen my book cover. I hope you like it.  I like it but it feels sort of… unrelated. The other titles have actual historic stuff from the period on them. I’ll probably get sued for it too.  I think my favorite cover is Perdition.  It has the Osiria rose on it.

You know me, I’m a whore for that rose.  It’s my favorite.  I hope if I ever get super rich and you and I get a castle in Spain with a koi (sp?) fish pond that we could surround said koi fish pond with a bunch of Osiria rose bushes.  They’re so pretty…

Pretty hopeful, eh?  I MUST get a castle and you MUST be in it and there MUST be koi fish and there MUST be roses!  MUST MUST MUST!!!  That’d be ideal for me.  Not sure about you.  I mean, you’re the one who proposed the koi fish but I’m the one who imagines it surrounded by roses.  I need to look up how they survive the winter.

I also want to make a secret room.  You said you know how and I think it’d be super cool.  Maybe if I become an author and it makes us enough money to afford that little castle in Spain, we could have that secret bookshelf hold a lot of my books.  Then the one book I didn’t write will be the key to opening the door.  Might be a bit obvious, though.  That’s the problem with me.  I’d be too obvious for a secret.  Like, if I didn’t go with that idea I’d want to go with a pun or a witty response.  For example, it could be the book Common Sense that opens the door.

I think it’d have to be a boring book.  Or a book that’s not too obvious at least.  Like, it can’t be Twilight because if we’re entertaining a guest, they’d criticize us and grab it to further criticize us.  Then our sex dungeon would be revealed. What if we had three secret rooms?  One for you, one for me, and then one for the both of us? Like for you, you could have whatever you want.  For me, I’d probably have a bunch of airsoft guns or historic regalia (something nerdy like that).  Then the third could be the sex dungeon.  It’d be so cool to tell a friend before we go out, “It’s time to arm up...” and then open a hidden bookshelf to reveal an armory of toy guns. Yeah, I guess that’s why I’m not rich… because I’m not serious enough for my own good.  I look at making jokes, especially bad ones.

I have yet to eat this popcorn ball.  I’ve just been ranting about owning a fucking god damned castle this entire time.  Brb

I missed popcorn balls.  I hate how they’re only available during October.  Seasonal products piss me off, especially if they don’t HAVE to be seasonal.  I guess that’s one of the reasons I hate Christmas.  Then again, I never liked the Christmas songs… all that mirth.  Disgusting.  Thanksgiving I hated, too.  I hate all the holidays that are supposed to bring people together.  Holidays are just kind of a dumb tradition.

Despite this, I still wish people a merry Christmas.  I adhere to tradition because I’m dumb.

I really want a hidden door.  Doesn’t need a castle, just want that hidden door.  We could live in Nevada or someplace.  Somewhere with a house, obviously.  I just want that hidden door.  If you want to keep your door hidden from me, that’d be fine too.  And if we have children, we can hide all LEGITIMATE firearms (also known as real steel) in one of the hidden rooms.

One of my earliest memories.  I was a toddler.  I somehow found my dad’s revolver.  He left it there, in plane sight of a child.  Very dumb on his part and he admits it.  I was just a toddler so I was exploring and discovering everything.  I grabbed the revolver and held it in front of me and pulled the trigger.  It fired, the barrel came up and the front sight hit my forehead.  I started bleeding and I started crying.  It was a loud noise and my head hurt.  I don’t remember much beyond that.  There was a hole in the wall, though and I’m the reason. That’s something I don’t like about guns. They’re VERY not safe around children.  And I can guarantee that if my dad dies, I’m inheriting most of the guns.  Was supposed to be all, but whatever.  Doesn’t matter.  Thing with guns is that you need a place to put them.  Preferably unloaded.  Some pieces can stay out, like that flintlock rifle above the kitchen but for the most part, they shouldn’t be available for a quick grab. In the event of a home invasion, you can hide in one of the fake rooms and I’ll deal with it.  Most home invaders don’t have guns themselves, so I’d be alright.  I’m naturally bigger so any threat would be chased off.  Criminals aren’t brave and they don’t have to be.  They just want to grab what they can and get out.  They don’t want to hurt anyone but they will if they have to.  It’s desperation. Regardless, sometimes there might be a criminal who is bigger than me or has a chip on his shoulder or have a gun.  That’s why you’d hide in a secret room.  If we have kids, they’ll hide with you.  Thing is, I’d rather not expose them to the sex dungeon so early.  Call me old fashion, but let them discover that shit on the internet.

A secret door that leads to a panic room.  Maybe in that panic room, a bomb shelter.  That’d be super cool, no?  In the event of a nuclear holocaust, you might be fine.  Problem is you’d have to keep it stocked, so that’s pretty dumb.  :/

We could donate the canned food to charity before they expire.  Or we can try keeping dried food and water down there.  Idk, believe it or not I’m not really into the “prepper” thing.  Gas masks would be nice, too.  Problem is is that some gas mask filters use asbestos which is super unhealthy, especially old school Soviet gas masks which we may be getting.  Good news, though, they can work with modern gas masks too so it should be fine.  I don’t like the material some gas masks come in though.  Latex… yuck.  It feels uncomfortable around the face.  Makes you sweaty. And it could tear.  Not quality material.  We’d have to get gas masks that fit the face and I’d prefer if their material wasn’t shit. We’d see.  Probably super trivial but it’s nice to have in an emergency situation.  Or in case there is a super potent odor.  That’s something cool about gas masks; they kill odors so in case of bad smells, you can over come it with a gas mask. Hell, we should get one for doing kitty litter.  :D If you still do porn and we happen to get a house/castle/citadel/fortress that has a hidden sex dungeon, I imagine you’d set up a little studio in there.  Or if we have three hidden rooms you’d set up shop in your hidden room.  But if you make due with the sex dungeon being your cam room, then you’d have a hidden room all to yourself.  I wonder what you’d put in there. Especially if I’m not allowed in.  Probably would have your journals.  As you said, you never shown me the newest entries.  I doubt Haru.  Unless Fern the Husky just becomes too unbearable. That said, we’d probably spend nights down in the dungeon.  Especially if we have kids.  Children like to walk in on their parents having sex.  I never have, but I know others have.  Or we could… cough lock the door when we sleep.  That wouldn’t be so bad.  Except the little Stephen clone in my dreams would get SO excited and want to tell us something in the middle of the night and run in the middle of the night in pitch black hallways down to our room, try opening the door, and crash instead.  Then he’d cry. He would be our son… -,-

I feel so much better today than I did yesterday.  Most of this entry has been me fantasizing.  Only been an hour into the new day, too. I’m glad.  ^^

Maybe you’d have a closet in your hidden room. I think it’d be a super spiritual room that you’d sanction or whatever.  Buddhist writings on the wall, super zen and peaceful… I can see that being the thing.  And because it’s your peaceful energy room, I wouldn’t be allowed in it as to not corrupt your own energy that you’ve been manifesting or whatever. Yeah, I can see it. In my room it’d have airsoft guns, as I’ve said.  Probably real guns too.  I don’t want it to be an armory but that’s what it’s sounding like.  I also want to use it as a closet.  Not for normal clothes but for dumb little outfits like my hoplite panoply or a victorian era outfit and other things like that. It’d be where I geeked out.  Probably would have to be big because… most those things don’t stack very well.  I also don’t want to have too many airsoft guns.  Weird, right?  The thing is, some airsoft maps limit the FPS limit.  Some do 400 and others do 350.  350 tend to be close spaced maps in corridors and the like. Thus, I’d need a couple guns to replicate what I feel my playstyle would be and what the map would be like.  So, it’d depend. And even if I did fucking GORGE on all these airsoft guns, hopefully I’ll be able to afford it if I’m able to afford a house/castle/cathedral/pope hut with hidden rooms. Dreaming about a future I’ll probably never have is soothing.  Probably because you’re in it.  Or because I’m super materialistic despite being a communist.  ;) Alright, it’s time for me to start my sets.  I love you and I’ll message you when I’m done. <3

Just finished.  After my sets and when I started jogging, I was super tired.  Like exhausted, sweaty, out of breath, and my heart is pumping.  I started to jog and… well, I’m still sweaty and exhausted but I’ve gotten my second wind back.  I think I need to start jogging outside.  Except I can’t with my shoes right now. I’ll be going to Reno with my dad this friday and I’m supposed to get some shoes then.  That’d be nice.

I was thinking more about our secret rooms.  I was thinking if someone really wanted to get in, they’d throw all the books off the shelf until they found one that stuck and then pull that one to open the door.  Then I thought about putting a button where you push it and it unlocks and allows you to pull the book and open the door.  Problem with that, they’d just rip it off if they REALLY wanted to get in. So, what if the button were on the bookshelf itself?  Think about it.  If they couldn’t find a book that opened a bookshelf, then they’d conclude that maybe it’s a different bookshelf and move along.  Or if they knew it was that bookshelf, they’d have to rip the whole thing off.  And we wouldn’t have to worry about which book to use. :D That said, I think it’d be cool if the secret rooms connected and required both sides to be opened in order to be let in. That way, if you want to get to the sex dungeon from your sanctuary, I could let you in and we wouldn’t have to leave the basement. Thing is, we’d have to separate a basement. If we build a house from scratch, we’d have to invest in digging out the ground and just adding… so much.  It’d be super expensive.  :/ I also thought about having a gym in my armory.  Getting used to the idea that it’s basically an armory for toys and shit.  How nerdy is that, eh?  But if I had a gym in there, then I’d be a part of the armory too.  And because it’s just a room with historical crap and gym equipment, you can go in whenever you want too.  We could work out together.  You can spot me while sitting on my lap.  I’d get so buff so quickly. That said, after I get rid of this fucking skin condition, I want to get a tattoo on my upper back.  “This Machine Kills Fascists” except in Spanish.  Unfortunately, in order to be awesome and bad ass, I need to get somewhat buff at least.  And… also skin condition.  I know you still want to get a tattoo.  Don’t know what you want to get. Maybe my name. Kidding, I know you’d never get a name tattoo.  I remember you saying that.

So, I found a set of shorts that belongs to you.  I’m going to leave you a message that the next time I see Daniel, I’ll hand it to him and give it to you.  Might not have to message you.  Will probably wait until Friday to tell you or something.  Idk, I’ll think about it.  But it’s your shorts and you’d probably want them back.

Of which, I need a list of things you forgot at Adela’s.

Oh, it’s raining.  Maybe that’s why I’m feeling better.  Huh.  That explains a lot.

Current time, 8am.  It’s a sunny day.  Bit of smoke, but that’s alright. Got this wasp thing fucking with me.  Should really crush it.  I don’t like hurting animals and insects are animals.  Was hoping it’d fuck off.  I haven’t begun edits yet today.  Postponed some. ><

I’m going to get to it.  Soon, at least.

[kingsoowons-blog]

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The article Platte Woods MO Roofing With Quality Service and An Iron Clad Guarantee originally appeared on Armor Roofing Kansas City.

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What Do You Think Are The Most Important Benefits To Do With New Roofing Installations?

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The post Platte Woods MO Roofing With Quality Service and An Iron Clad Guarantee appeared first on Armor Roofing Kansas City.

[treepainting]

Phantomsweep Phantomsweep Phantomsweep Phantomsweep-

Yknow i think it'd be really fucking funny if we got Danny Phantom number one trending using the tag #phantomsweep to make it seem like we've won something

We havent won anything but it sure as hell would be funny to pretend that we did.

[youdecode]

117 Love ‌Affirmations For Him | Soulmate Affirmations For Love That Work

 Why use affirmations to manifest what we want?

Because one cannot deny the power they possess.

Apart from using affirmations for love if you absolutely feel the need of a loving soul mate then check this program out.

Why not learn from the experts?

Why not invest in something that actually has the capability of tuning your life around.

Because you deserve the best. 

Affirmations are not just spoken words which you mindlessly chatter. Rather they are the seeds for your belief system.

The words you say are the reflection of your thought and they have the capability to sink into your subconscious mind.

You know that a difference between a successful person and an unsuccessful one is the manner in which one controls the subconscious mind.

This is one big heavy word and rightfully owns great importance.

It is the side of mind which holds “belief” and “belief” simply dictates your life . . . the action you take and the things you attract (law of attraction).

Why am I telling you all this?

Because one of the tools through which you reach your subconscious mind is “affirmation”.

It takes time to shape a belief.

If you will say today that the specific person is madly in love with you then it would not help much.

Why?

Because it takes repetition. It takes time to get this statement drilled into your head.

Once you start believing/affirming, the person is bound to fall madly in love with you, even if one is not initially.

These are all the games of science.

The like energy attracts the like energy and then you get hit by the realities matching the same frequencies.

Yes, it is very much scientific. Key thing:

Nature opens up ways for you BASED on your belief.

We have talked about why affirmation is a powerful tool to reach the subconscious mind that is to shape a belief through repetition.

We have also established then why it is vital it to control your subconscious mind that is to manifest only what and according to the beliefs.

So it all started with affirmation you say Eisha?

Well, yes.

And affirmation is not limited to the typical statements which you might have seen in the past.

The affirmation is anything you affirm by repeatedly.

If you constantly speak negatively about yourself then that affirmation is also going to sink into your subconscious mind.

Never joke around or demean yourself repeatedly as you are going to establish limited beliefs.

 Also Here Are Some Related Massively-Transformative Resources You Will Ever Need.

1100+ Daily Journal Prompts for Self Discovery

3 secret steps to make any wish come true

4 incredible powerful steps to manifest desires & goals 

  PS : Don’t forget to grab the freebie at the end of post, specially crafted for you  !

LOVE AFFIRMATIONS AND HOW TO USE THEM EFFECTIVELY

 Let’s talk something about love affirmations.

If you will repeatedly say negative things about your past relations and breakups then it is very likely that you will attract the same sort of energy.

Your words are loaded with creative power.

What?

Well, this means that you are constantly creating things/realities through your words.

If you want to attract quality relations or situations then just affirm happy living things related to it, leaving all toxicity behind.

Are you like Eisha, not all things we say turn to reality?

Let me clear this confusion of yours.

Every word which comes to your mouth that is loaded with feeling and gets repeated is an affirmation.

An affirmation is a belief capable of making or breaking your life.

Spoken words have the capability of changing your feelings which in turn align you with your desires.

Let’s see some practice suggestions:

Prefer repeating the affirmations right after you wake up for setting the tone of the day

Include affirmations numerous times in your daily schedule.

Repeating them before sleeping as a subconscious mind is most receptive at night. This simply means that whatever you say is more likely to sink in faster.

In total repeat at least 15 times each day.

There are several ways of practicing affirmations. That is you can script them out, mentally repeat or both. I suggest going for both as that is effective.

This blogpost covers several affirmations, you can focus on a few of them per week.

Get the print of these affirmations here, so you easily repeat, remember, and paste on your wall.

You might not resonate with all the information listed below, so start with the ones which seem to evoke emotions, or make you feel positive.

You need to dissolve some barriers which might be hurdling your way for manifesting the love of your life or a specific person.

Repeating affirmations correctly (that is with feelings) is not that simple because you will be challenged with the limiting thoughts.

You will meet with unworthiness, negativity, and doubt.

How to sort this problem?

By replacing these affirmations with something positive.

What is that SOMETHING?

Don’t crease your forehead girl, got you covered below:

 22 AFFIRMATIONS TO INCREASE FAITH IN THE PROCESS OF MANIFESTATION:

 I affirm that the universe manifests my soulmate at the perfect time.

The Law of Attraction works in the same way for each individual

I now believe that i can completely change my life by altering by thoughts

I am beginning a new journey and starting a process of manifesting my soulmate

I believe in myself and I own the ability to manifest true and lasting love.

I use my thoughts and feelings effectively for manifesting my soulmate.

I am capable of attracting perfect scenarios and perfect love.

I trust myself to attract the perfect partner.

I can now sense my connection with the love around me.

I own divinely inspired thoughts, words & actions.

Whenever I see others in love I take it as a signal that love is getting closer to me.

The Universe has always led me to my highest good and doing the same right now in the domain of love.

I only send loving thoughts because they create my future

I affirm that my feelings are capable of transforming my life

Universe will deliver my soul mate at the perfect time.

Everyone can experience love and romance.

I am attracting love by creating it inwardly first.

I am attaching the loving relationship I desire, easily and effortlessly.

With the persistent law of attraction, I can create loving conditions.

My ability to love is growing stronger each day.

Universe has planned a fulfilling relationship with a loving partner for me.

I know I will meet my soulmate at the perfect place and time.

To attract love in your life, a vital aspect which many miss out is their ability to prioritize themselves.

Self-love is the brick without which you will not find others falling in love with you.

Know you are worthy by birth and that is the only truth.

This blogpost specifically deals with the 219 self-worth affirmations.

Do not forget this one vital foundational step and affirm.

Please Pin It For Later Reference Fam!

11 AFFIRMATIONS FOR FEELING WORTHY OF LOVE:

 Confidence comes naturally to me

I deserve love and respect

I deserve an honest, sincere & affectionate soul mate.

We all are entitled to love and romance and so am I.

I am perfect and complete as is.

I am worthy of a healthy & fulfilling relationship with someone special.

I deserve all the romance and love which all other people are experiencing

I am worthy of a loving relationship.

I am deeply in love with myself.

My love for myself is increasing each day

I approve of myself as is

Find More Insanely Powerful Self Worth Affirmations Here.

15 AFFIRMATIONS TO GIVE SIGNAL TO UNIVERSE

 With these sets of affirmations, you are telling the universe that you are ready.

I have opened my heart for a fulfilling and loving relationship.

I have a lot of space in my heart for a loving partner.

I am allowing love to enter into my life right now.

I am receptive to the love energy around me.

I am accepting that romance is rightfully for me.

I am trying to love more each day.

I am choosing love to enter every part of my life.

I am ready to fall deeply in love.

I am aligning myself with the energy of love.

I can feel that my soulmate is about to enter my life.

I am receiving love easily and effortlessly.

I will meet my soulmate very soon.

I allow myself to fall in love

My thoughts and actions are tuned with my intention of manifesting a soul mate.

Falling in love is safe for me

18 AFFIRMATIONS FOR OVERCOMING BARRIERS TO LOVE AND FULFILLMENT:

 I am releasing all my limiting beliefs right now

I am moving into a perfect life, fading away from the past

I am releasing all the negative energies and thoughts

I am believing only positive thoughts about me

I am forgetting the past to manifest my soulmate

I am releasing all the negativity that is preventing me from manifesting a loving relationship.

I am clearing all emotionally draining people from my life.

Nothing can prevent love from coming to me.

I am trusting the wisdom of the Universe

I allow myself to experience the intimacy & pleasure of a loving relationship.

I am releasing those people who will never commit to me.

Every situation that is not meant for me is fading away from my life.

I am embracing the truth and releasing worn-out beliefs

I attract only those people who respect me.

I am not desperate about love. I releasing the desperation/

I can choose what I want in a relationship.

I will not allow my past to influence my future.

I know a door closes to open a better one.

51 AFFIRMATIONS FOR MANIFESTING LOVE & ROMANCE

It is up to you to decide which affirmations you would add in your daily life.

These affirmations will turn into your belief system easily if you will choose the affirmations which make you feel most positive. 

I am all set to manifest soulmate.

True love is coming on my way

I am attracting a romantic life partner who will emotionally get involved with me.

I am attracting an affectionate life partner who is madly in love with me.

My heart is all ready to receive love.

Perfect love is coming to me now and I am thankful

I am grateful for the loving experiences that fill my life with joy.

I own all the personality and qualities that someone wants in a soul mate.

I am attracting an affectionate spouse.

I am ready to meet the love of my life.

I am attracting a relationship based on mutual love and respect.

I am all set to fall in love with someone who loves me as much as I love him.

I am attracting a person who is ready for a serious relationship.

I am sending out the love in the universe which I desire to experience.

I can see myself in an amazing relationship filled with love and romance.

The Universe is supporting my desire for a fulfilling relationship.

Love is just coming to me

Someone special is on my way

I own the spirit of eternal love

I am a magnet of an irresistible wonderful relationship

I willing to share my life with an affectionate partner

I use my mind to create my mind

My future is full of boundless love

I am meeting with loving opportunities each day

Love is available to me in abundance

I seek love and it is seeking me

Love is my divine right

I am focusing on just feeling, thoughts and expectations of love

I and my soulmate are brought together magnetically by the energy of love

My love reflects the respecs I have for myself

I can reach true love

I am sending more love and I am receiving more love

I see the love in every situation

Nothing is delayed manifestation of my partner

My life is filled with loving people

I was meant to have a relationship with a partner who loves and adores me unconditionally.

I radiate the energy of love and it comes back to me

I and my soul mate share an unbreakable bonds

Thinking of love makes me happy

My desire to manifest my soulmate is turning into reality

I am giving more attention to love so I am attracting more love.

My soul mate will support me in all loving ways.

Now It’s time for me to fall in love.

I am attracting the best one for myself

I am attracting a perfect love

I am in the right place at the right time to meet my soulmate.

I am consciously and actively creating a loving reality.

I am grateful for the fast entry of my soul mate in my life

I am using my imagination for experiencing the love I desire

I am thankful for the love that is moving in my life speedily

Love finds me wherever I go.

   Before you go Know This Secret:

Through this affirmation, you are making your wishes concrete.

But there are other powerful ways as well. . .

There is a world . . .

Where everything you want in life . . .

Can actually come true.

In this place…

You only have to close your eyes and dream…

And what you dream of…

Becomes reality.

These affirmations for manifesting your soulmate is not a filler.

But if you want proven help from an expert then here you go. 

Can’t wait to see what amazing, “dream world” you create! 

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