#might move this into a google doc later

[midnitestar]

the fixer upper ranch challenge, by midnitestar.

hello! i started this challenge as more of a personal use (a sort of guideline if you will) in order to get me engaged with the horse ranch gameplay and to avoid using cheats or getting bored. then i figured that making a detailed & structured challenge would be even better, so here it is!

⸻ main premise ⊱

your city-dweller sim suddenly is made aware that their grandparent, who they have never met, has inherited them their estate at chestnut ridge, a vast 64x64 lot with an abandoned ranch and lots of family history to discover at town.

the objective of this challenge is to start from the bottom at chestnut ridge and become the most influential family in town by the end of three generations.

make money with the ranch's resources, win over the judgemental seniors, and gradually renovate the estate until it's good as new.

you can see this as sort of a mini legacy challenge, honestly FURC (fixer upper ranch challenge) is a mixture of everything...

this challenge is still in process, so i'll be updating this post as i think of new & concrete ideas for each generation. feel free to join me with your own gameplay at #fixer upper ranch challenge, ask questions or even share suggestions here!

more information under the cut 🎔

at all times avoid using money, skill or relationship cheats (or any kind of cheat for that matter). you will only get 50,000 simoleons at the start of generation 1 as part of your sim's inheritance / or use freerealestate to get your sim's grandparent's estate for free, and set 20,000 simoleons. this will be your renovations budget.

your sim cannot travel to any other world, they must complete their activities and affairs inside chestnut ridge.

follow the intended order of the generations. there's just three of them, and their storylines are linear!

add a mayor, a sheriff, an influential family and some small-ranch townies in your world. this will enrich your gameplay and your sim's relationships! (read: drama)

start with an actual abandoned ranch lot. with a bunch of junk and stuff. i recommend grandma's abandoned ranch by ralucii and Abandoned Ranch by enikobalogh in the gallery!

feel free to use any cc or mods that you want to improve your experience, as long as they don't give you an unfair advantage over other players.

don't get a job for your sim, either full time or half time. however, you may get money through other traditional rags-to-riches methods, such as gardening, frog breeding, fishing, selling other collectibles, etc.

⸻ generation 1 : the newcomer ⊱

you grew up an only child and raised by a single, widowed mother, and although you didn't mind much your father's absence, the conditions of his death have always been a mystery to you - more so with your mother refusing to talk about the subject. what you do know about him, though, is that he loved music, and you do too. you look after his old guitar with your life, and even decided to skip college and go straight into following your dream of becoming a known musical artist at san myshuno. however, you don't find success straight away and start to lose motivation rather quickly. that's when a secretive lawyer knocks at your studio apartment's door to give you the opportunity of a lifetime: to start again in a small town, far away from your previous failure. you immediately travel to chestnut ridge and get right to it - you have a ranch to renovate and a lot to learn about your father's side of the family. no easy task, surely!

aspiration: big happy family traits: rancher, animal enthusiast, clumsy initial budget: 20k ~ 50k (read general rules)

master the following skills: guitar, horse riding, and handiness.

complete your aspiration.

go to the nightclub or the bar at least once a week.

start making money by rescuing horses, training them until they increase their market price, and selling them to other ranchers.

adopt two small goats, raise them and sell their milk. (optional: use @brazenlotus' cheesemaking skill mod to sell cheese!)

renovate at least 5 rooms in the estate OR two floors + build a small barn for one or two horses.

have a kid with another townie who has a small ranch too (optional: marry them and have other children if you'd like).

PLOT POINT! the mayor seems to be having a problem with you entering the community. they think that you're too naive, as per usual with sims who hail from the city, and that you don't know what you're doing. you know, typical condescending seniors. however, they back down a little when you tell them your last name... surely that must mean something? just what kind of person was your grandparent?

to be continued...

[todayisafridaynight]

#ANYWAY LET ME COOK. im not a good chef but i can at least cook an egg lemme see what i got...

This is leagues ahead of Jo as per Substitute Father so I'm sure you'll do great <3 NOT TO SET THE BAR LOW... Arakawa POV part of that was sooooooo cute but I am of course VERY MUCH LOOKING FORWARD regardless of what you've got in the oven :] I think it's funny we always end up with roughly the same concepts but I just shoehorn RGGJo into it instead

DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN THOUGH WITH HOW THE MARKETING FOR YLAD KEPT HAMMERING IN THE SON THING ONE WAY OR ANOTHER... BUT THE SCENE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT IS FUNNY and honestly half of the things Westerners [<- counting myself just this once] find funny in RGG apparently aren't intentional so what's one more

Substitute Father haunts me since i really don't like it but i also know that One (1) person really enjoyed it so i don't want to delete it SOOO the most i can do at this point is try to write something better as an apology and try to forget.. and hopefully let arakawa FPOV in a better fic..

BUT YEAH LMAO they really werent subtle bout it in retrospect.... teehee..

[munson-blurbs]

Eddie and Ms. Sweetheart's honeymoon 🥹🥹🥹

The way I ran to Google Docs to write this, not just because I love me some fluffy smut, but also because I love you.

Single Dad!Eddie x Fem!ReaderSeries

Summary: Relaxing on the beach, giving your new husband a sexy surprise...what more can you ask for?

Warnings: smut (18+ only, minors DNI), p in v, breeding kink (of course), Ms. Sweetheart/Reader wears lingerie

WC: 1.1k

A/N: Big thank you and smoochy kisses to @jo-harrington for helping me make this piece body-inclusive, and to @corroded-hellfire for ensuring the breeding kink was on point.

August 1998

“What a day.” Eddie flops onto the king-size bed face first, still in his wet swim trunks. Sand sticks to the bottom of his feet; you swear he’s traipsed in half the beach. “Who knew lounging in the sun could be so exhausting? I don’t know how we’re gonna go back to our normal lives.” He flips over onto his back so his words are no longer muffled. “Like, my body might be back in Hawkins, but my mind will be in Myrtle Beach.”

You laugh, arms crossed over your chest and pressed against the thin fabric of your cover-up. “Can you drag yourself into the shower and wash off?” When he doesn’t move, you let your fingertips dance along the sole of his foot. He giggles maniacally and reflexively, drawing inwards. 

“Dammit, okay, okay!” He shakes his head and pushes himself up to an upright position. “The things you do to get me naked…”

“Mhm.” You roll your eyes dismissively as though his suggestion is absurd—even though that’s exactly what you’re trying to do. 

As soon as you hear the squeak of the spigot and the ensuing stream of water, you unzip your suitcase and rifle through until you find what you’re looking for. You feel it before you see it, fingers grasping the lacy fabric triumphantly. 

You shed the flower-printed cover-up, catching a glimpse in the mirror of yourself in your swimsuit. Eddie had picked it out for you—a one-piece that hugged you in all the right places. Truthfully, you could wear this and it would turn him on, but this is your honeymoon, and you want it to be special. 

Peeling off the damp suit, you toss it aside; it lands on the floor with a comical thwack, and you make a mental note to pick it up later. 

The teddy you’d bought weeks ago suddenly looks daunting, purchased during a trip to the mall with Jess. She’d insisted that no honeymoon is complete without some lingerie, and you’d reluctantly given in after she’d assured you multiple times that Eddie would, quote, “lose his goddamn mind.”

Soft black cups perfectly hold your breasts in place, accentuating your decolletage. The sheer mesh covering your torso is embroidered with lace roses, leaving just enough to the imagination. 

All right, you can admit it—you look good. 

You lounge on the small sofa that faces the bathroom, adjusting the bodysuit’s thin straps as you wait for the steadily falling water to cease, punctuated by several rogue drops. Your heart leaps with excitement as you hear the door knob twist and you’re bathed in a plume of steamy air. 

“Surprised you didn’t try to join—holy hell.” Eddie exhales with a grin, taking in your scantily-clad body. A white towel is slung low on his hips, sopping up the water trickling from his curls. “Where did you get this little number, baby?”

Heat creeps into your cheeks as he saunters toward you, one hand finding the small of your back while the other caresses your cheek. He leans in and kisses you hungrily, his burgeoning erection pressing against your bare thigh.

“Got me all worked up just by looking at you, Mrs. Munson,” he murmurs into your lips. It sends a shiver of pleasure down your spine as he deepens his embrace, pulling you as close as he possibly can.

Your fingers dip beneath the towel, tugging it from where it’s tucked along his waist and letting it drop. He’s fully exposed, and it takes all of your willpower to keep up this game of seduction and refrain from kissing down his happy trail.

“Since you’re so tired tonight, baby,” you coo, nipping at his earlobe as you speak, “I figured I could take care of you.” Your palms journey the expanse of his chest, draping them over his shoulders and guiding him onto the bed. The fresh bed sheets are crisp underneath your knees as you straddle him, grinding your core against his. “‘S that okay?”

Eddie nods, letting out an incredulous breath. “Course, yeah, whatever you want…” He sits up slightly, mouth drawn to your breasts as though pulled by a magnet. 

“I want you,” you tell him, sucking bruises into his neck that you hope will last until you return home. “I want you inside me, filling me up, making me feel so, so good…”

The fabric between your thighs is already soaked with proof of your desire, and you shift it over so you can sink down onto his hardened length. You take him inch by inch, the tip breaching your hole and stretching you in its delicious, familiar way.

“Oh, my god,” you whimper, bringing his hands to the flesh of your ass and giving your movements more stability. Each rock of your hips draws a moan from your husband’s plush lips, his tongue darting out to wet them every so often. “Eddie, oh, my god!”

His grip on your ass tightens as you clench around him and continue to bounce. “‘M close,” he grunts, breath hitching as he begins slamming up into you to chase his release. “Fuck, baby, you’re so fuckin’ tight…can’t hold back any more…” He speaks through gritted teeth, purely animalistic in nature. 

Your middle finger finds your clit, rubbing small circles into it. The small movements drive both you and Eddie absolutely wild. 

“Thassit…touch yourself for me,” he groans, barely audible above the lewd sounds of skin-on-skin and the way you’re drenching him right now. “You look so goddamn perfect like this, filled to the brim with my cock.”

“Wanna be filled with your cum, too,” you whine, feeling the beginnings of your own orgasm. “Wanna take all your cum, Eddie, like a good little wife.”

Eddie’s eyes practically roll back in his head. “My good little wife, all barefoot and pregnant…fuckfuckfuck…takeittakeittakeit.” With a final few thrusts, he spills into you with everything he has. His grasp loosens as he softly kisses your arms, desperate to remain close to you in any way possible. 

“So,” you start with a giggle, gently moving off of him so you can cuddle into his perspiration-slick chest, “looks like you got a second wind.”

He tilts your chin up, his eyes studying your face like a precious gemstone. “Give me ten minutes and I’ll get a third, okay, Sweetheart?” He winks, thumb gliding up and down your jawline. “Keep that sexy outfit on f’me, though. I’m not done with either of you.”

--

[amourdivine]

𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 🦢 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄?

Hello, lovelies! I hope you're doing well. I bring you another romance topic today, found from the vault, forgotten in my Google Docs folder! Let me know how it resonates. If you liked this reading, please consider booking a paid reading or tipping me at @ amourdivinetarot@gmail.com! xo. ♡

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none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise

how to choose your pile.  take deep breaths for a few minutes & look at each and every one of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later.

♡ ♡ ♡     pick a card masterlist & information

disclaimer. this is a general reading for entertainment purposes. tarot is a divination tool & is not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

PILE 01. 🕊️

who is this person? page of wands, the sun rx, seven of pentacles rx.

This person is very, very impatient. They tend to be more immature and on the feistier side, I definitely think they’re an extrovert or someone with Leo, Sagittarius or Aries in their big three. They might rush into things and have a bit of a self-sabotaging energy to them. Honestly, I think this person underestimates themselves and act out of passion and desire, so they’re not the most careful in love. They tend to be pessimistic because they wonder why their relationships go wrong, but they can rush into situations before they’re even ready and not always be willing to put the effort and time required for things to develop. Since they’re also being represented by the Page of Wands, you might question their feelings and motives towards you because they might seem fickle, even a bit childish for some of you. They have a lot of young energy, it could be in age or simply in their nature. By the way, this is definitely a new person, not someone from your past. I’m also getting more of a masculine vibe, but it doesn’t necessarily correlate to any specific gender.

how are they truly feeling?  six of pentacles, two of wands, the sun.

They see a lot of potential in your relationship with them. Like I said, this person tends to rush into things, so they aren’t super in their feelings about it, but they’re feeling very positive and they’re already wanting to make a move. This person could simply have a crush on you at first, since I don’t get any deeper feelings involved here. However, this person enjoys your presence a lot! You might have started out as friends and they love being in your presence, it turns their frown upside down. Since we also got The Sun card in the last question but in reverse, I think you make them feel more positive, happier and lighter in general. They are imagining a lot of things in their head for your future, but they feel that this connection is balanced and it could go somewhere much better than where it’s at. That’s also why they’re rushing, because they don’t want to waste any time. 

what are the circumstances regarding this confession? ten of swords rx, king of wands rx, two of cups.

They’re resisting these feelings. This person might be exhausted of all their thinking and imagining before they confess to you - they can’t wait any longer. They’re going to feel restricted and that’s why they’ll take action, so they’ll be super impulsive towards you. It might come out of the blue, at a totally random moment and it could shock you, but they’ll want to make sure to make it up to you later somehow. Maybe they’ll be venting to you and at one point they might kiss you recklessly or send a risky text. They’ll probably invite you to a date (especially dinner date) later on so that they can show you they’re interested and it’s not something that they told you just for the sake of it. They might be naturally flirty towards others, which is also why they’ll want to take you out, so you know that their feelings are romantic indeed, even if they’re at a very initial stage. They’ll be very, very nervous and fidgety (lol), might also stutter a bit and seem kind of random towards you. Honestly, there’s a lot of passion and you’ll seem even more attractive in their eyes. I can’t help but feel that they’ll try and plan everything out, only to be super hasty and clumsy with their confession (aw).

additional messages: summer breeze, “easy like sunday morning,” frat party, college roommates, sapphic/wlw, silk chiffon by muna & phoebe bridgers, 6:66, 222, light blue, hazy, champagne bubbles.

PILE 02. 🐇

who is this person? five of swords, the lovers, knight of cups.

This is someone whom you might have had a disagreement with. The intensity of this confrontation likely wasn’t anything light, so you could’ve had a falling out of sorts. They have a lot of air and Gemini energy, so there’s a duality to them that can be confusing and contradicting to you, because of their sharp wit and their spontaneous nature. This person seems like a lot! Not in a bad way, but they have a very proud and stubborn personality as well. With the Knight of Cups, this is someone who had and still has romantic feelings for you, whether you’ve known it or not. Even if you didn’t have any romantic involvement with this person, they nurse something very romantic and dreamy for you. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was an ex of yours, someone whom you were in a relationship with and ended things very badly. However, they’re not over you and no matter how difficult this situation must’ve been, they still love you very much.

how are they truly feeling?  five of pentacles, nine of pentacles rx, strength.

It’s surprising to me that this Strength card came out upright, because they’re not actually feeling strong at all. This person might be putting up a front, honestly. They could have some significant Leo placements and they might have turned this thing into a competition of “who cares less.” Which is immature, of course, but they feel left out in the cold, like all the future they had with you was lost. Even if they’re determined to make it back to you somehow, they feel that all of their chances and options were wasted and in vain. However, since we’re talking about their feelings, I don’t think it’s true that there are no options left here. They could be stuck in a self pitying mentality and that’s also what’s making them so miserable, even if they want to make things right again so badly. This person could type it out their feelings in a billion unsent texts and still be too proud to make a move.

what are the circumstances regarding this confession? judgement, eight of wands rx, wheel of fortune rx.

Enough time will have passed you by and the dust will have settled. They’ll make this choice because I can almost hear them saying to themselves “enough is enough.” Things will feel stagnant and for some of you, you might have even forgotten or let go of this person after this time of silence. They’re going to make this call after a very long time because they’ll realize that they’ve wasted too much time agonizing over these feelings and their pain instead of solving it. I pulled another card for clarification and got the Knight of Cups again, so they’ll probably realize they’re still not over you and that’s something they need to get off their chest. Honestly, I think they’ll be much more humble and loving the next time you speak to them, not only because they want to tell you how they truly feel and show their vulnerable side, but also because they don’t really expect much out of you. They could feel that they’re out of luck and out of chances to be with you, so you’ll have to be really clear about your feelings with this person, pile two, because they’re very fearful, but they’re pouring their heart out into this confession because it’ll be anything but easy to them. Also, the Universe might have nudged them a little to make this call.

additional messages: broken strings by james morrison & nelly furtado, “i know i was wrong but i regret it now,” “i’ve been a fool,” leo, sagittarius, capricorn, gemini, “i regret what i said,” “our fight was really triggering,” sorry by justin bieber, 888, 999, 10:10, february, aquarius mars.

PILE 03. 🐻‍❄️

who is this person? the tower, two of swords, six of pentacles.

This is someone who’s been through a lot, pile three. I think they can come across as insecure or even indecisive. They may be hard to read or someone who isn’t quite your type, but since they’re your next/first partner, it’ll be a welcomed surprise. They may struggle with making decisions, especially when it comes to confessing their feelings for you, because they might’ve been through a lot of difficult moments - like I said, this Tower also makes me wonder if they’re resisting some sort of change or feeling towards you because of their own fears. However, they try their best to be balanced. I think they’re very generous, very giving and caring towards people, but they may be harsh on themselves at times. This person could be a Libra, a Taurus or a Capricorn. I feel like they’re quite stubborn and they don’t actually like to take many risks. Perhaps being in love with you is something they found quite shocking, so it might take them some time to understand it.

how are they truly feeling?  king of swords, queen of cups, the hanged one.

So, I think after meditating on it for a little while, they’ll eventually evolve into a more mature, self-assured and calm energy. It may take them a while, as I said, but they’ll want to do this the right way, looking very steady and confident. This King of Swords is very logical and quite upfront, but they may be hiding their softer and more emotional side by the time they come forward. I think that the moment they confess to you, it won’t sound very emotional, but they’ll definitely be hiding this Queen of Cups underneath the King of Swords. The Hanged Man makes me think they’ll be patient with you, instead of demanding an answer right away, this person will want you to think about it, to really ponder over how you feel as well. But it also gives me the energy of someone who’s done enough contemplation over their feelings, hence why this King of Swords will come on strongly. They may seem more confident than what they actually feel, perhaps colder than intended, but they do have very strong feelings, they just don’t want to come off as too vulnerable or too emotional by the time they come clean about this. 

what are the circumstances regarding this confession? page of pentacles, the high priestess, six of swords.

There’s some healing coming from this person’s end. I cannot help but wonder if this person is someone you study or work with, but in whichever case, their offer will be something small, but significant to them. It may not be a “full blown date”, like something super luxurious, but they may offer to grab a cup of coffee with you to talk about these feelings. Something more subtle rather than super out there. Even the High Priestess itself has a more lowkey energy, so it’s possible they’ll try to do it in a more private or secluded space. I think this person will want to have a more quiet one on one with you, so it doesn’t seem like it’ll be a grand gesture. You likely won’t see this coming, so by the time they confess, you’ll have to use your intuition in order to see through that King of Swords energy I mentioned. They truly just want to let you know - I don’t think they have any high expectations over this, because the Six of Swords here gives me the idea that they’ll want to heal and move forward in case you reject them. With or without you, they’ll want to embark on a healing journey and keep going either way. They might feel a sense of relief or calm afterwards, like they have finally let these feelings and secret thoughts of you out. It’s going to be something very revealing for the both of you, something which will help them progress, whether this connection progresses or not. Of course, since this is your next partner, it’ll help the both of you move forward with your relationship and develop something from there.

additional messages: libra/7th house stellium, “i’ve made up my mind”, throw it on the fire by jon mclaughlin, “my life without you is just time”,  somewhere only we know by keane, “i just want to know how you feel,” “take your time.”

PILE 04. 🦢

who is this person? nine of swords, ten of wands, judgment.

I think this is someone who is always looking for “the light at the end of the tunnel.” It’s worth mentioning I am using the Vice Versa deck for your pile, so the imagery here is a little different than the original A.E. Waite deck. They’re likely a very hardworking and fierce person, but they’re also afraid of relying on others and asking for help. A little too proud, maybe? They could be an Aries or a Leo, but I’m more specifically getting Leo from this person. They’ve been through a lot, but still, they feel like life keeps throwing curveballs at them. Honestly, this person may suffer from burnout by the time you meet them, they may be a workaholic or someone very ambitious who wants to carve their own path in life. They may have had to start all over many times and have had a hard time finding their true calling in life, but they’ve begun to overcome these issues. This person can be very stubborn as well, maybe they don’t like hearing advice or asking for it somehow. I think you’ll recognize them by the way they try to tackle everything on their own and are a bit too proud to admit when something isn’t working or when they’re in the wrong, but they do mean well. 

how are they truly feeling?  three of cups, knight of cups, the emperor.

They might be friends with you, but the feelings are too strong for them to deny it. However, with The Emperor, it kind of confirms the fire energy for me, especially Aries as well. So they’re a little bit ashamed of how soft they truly feel for you. It’s interesting because despite wanting to look and feel in power, they just want to give you the world, even if you might reject them. This person is hopeful, though. They’ll want to look very confident and may even show off a little bit, but they want to impress you and that’s also why this Emperor is coming through. They can (and want to) give you everything you want, to be the kind of partner who honors you, someone you’re proud of. They’ve got great intentions, even though they’re not very good at communicating or explaining their feelings, they may have a little bit of a “rough edge” to them or have a very, very rational and inflexible approach about the way they feel. It’s almost like they’ll try to be very self-controlled and tough not to seem vulnerable, but deep down, these feelings are very real and they truly cherish your company. Again, I think this person will be friends with you - or at least try to remain friends before moving forward with their confession.

what are the circumstances regarding this confession? the star, queen of pentacles, two of pentacles.

They’re very hopeful! They may want to take you out somewhere fancy, give you the best of the best treatment and make you feel like a royal by their side. You may even find them to be a bit foolish? They’ll be so eager to please you, honestly. I even feel like the man in this Two of Pentacles card is juggling all things at once so he looks impressive or busy, when in fact, he’s struggling to keep up. I think this will be a very important and fancy date, something more.. official? Not something casual or anything you may take for granted. They want to make sure you’re comfortable and may even gawk at you a little bit. They find you really beautiful, pile four, that’s undeniable. There’s a lot of hope - they’re one hundred percent confident you’ll want them back (lol). I think both of you will be dressed up nicely, likely going somewhere to dine or walk? They think you’ve got everything, like you’re the full package, baby! It’s interesting that they’ll try to come off as The Emperor, but deep down I think they’ll try to find all of the ways in which they can “woo” you and make you theirs.

additional messages: “i’m worth it,” solar plexus chakra, if you want somebody by jon mclaughlin, poker face, “please notice”, the way you look tonight (cover) by shawn mendes, “can i kiss you?", fire signs, leo or aries venus/mars.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

[ryanyflags]

A List of Gender Terms !

So I disappeared for 2 months, but I finally completed this project! :D (Though I've been making some random posts talking about it, so it's not like I was really gone, or what I was working on wasn't obvious.)

It started off as me having trouble keeping track of a couple gender terms (and also not knowing they existed before, since I've never really seen people talk about them), then I thought I should make a list, and if I was going to do that I might as well post it to help other people too. Which I started out trying to make that list on Tumblr, but I found it too limiting so I moved to google docs, which I also found too limiting (I just couldn't achieve my vision, if you will), and now I know html and css.

As usual, I kinda overdid it, but I think I should be a little proud of myself. I had 0 knowledge of html and css, and 2 months later I've made my own website. (I could have made it much quicker, but I often had to take breaks, a bit overwhelmed by all that new stuff.)

Anyways, it has a ton of terms on there.

I have sections for nonbinary, abinary, midbinary, atrinary, midtrinary, androgyne, agender, neutrois, maverique, ilyagender, aporagender, outherine, kenochoric, and xenogender.

For 7 categories (sex terms, adult, general term, child, gender quality, gender-quality-in-nature genders, and spectrum / -iagender spectrum).

And they all have sources on both Archive Today, Wayback Machine, and if still existing, the original post too. (At least to the best of my abilities, and there are a couple of exceptions that I couldn't figure out.)

I did put effort into this, but it's possible I missed something. So if I made a mistake anywhere, or if anyone has any extra information to add on, or if you just have some comments, you can tell me. My ask box is open, but comments on this post would probably be fine too.

Also, I checked on a couple of different browsers, mobile too, and read up on web accessibility and checked and all that (I tried using a screen reader, I'm not a pro at it though, so it's possible I may have missed something obvious), so I hope the website itself is useable. But if there's any bugs there, just tell me (it'll be appreciated).

I'm also thinking of making another compilation, but for flags (for all of the terms listed here), and maybe orientations too, but maybe later haha

I also don't know how to write a image id for the top picture, if anyone wants to write to one I'll add it.

-

Below the cut is a short little video scrolling through the site.

[kit-williams]

Home is where the heart is... so where is my heart?

@bispecsual @egrets-not-regrets @moodymisty @bleedingichorhearts @liar-anubiass-blog

@thevoidscreams @barn-anon @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @squishyowl @ms--lobotomy

@the-californicationist (You might like Horus ((Before he turned evil))) @justeverythingnothingelse (Since you kinda asked for this)

tw: Smut, canon compliant breeding kink

Word Count: 2437 (6 pages on Google Docs) ((I use docs to check the word count))

As always thank you @squishyowl for the dividers

Horus at one point loathed to return to his quarters alone... when his Mournival came it made it feel less cold but that wasn't always the case and he would come back to the room alone. You helped keep it neat and tidy but Horus tried his best to fill it with things... knickknacks... the walls in far more private rooms had graffiti that reminded him of home but all he tried to do only made it feel like a parody.

No matter how close he got it to look like an old ganger hideout that he remembers so vividly... it lacks the feeling... the smell of bodies passing through... the appearance that someone else other than him has been there. You find him so very glum as you feel brave enough to try and ask your Primarch what is wrong and listen to his woe...

"Would... would you like me to help with that sire?" You offered and you see that he almost jumps with excitement like a dog almost.

"Um what would you propose." He says with restrained eagerness.

He no longer dreaded returning to his quarters as there was at least one other person! Not the size of a gang that he wanted to share a space with but... he had his mournival always around him so he could survive having at least one person around at all times. He got you to move in basically when the Primarch told you what he was so use to... he didn't like to live alone... sure he could sleep alone but the sterile living quarters or bachelors pad that it was made him go crazy.

You moved in full time just adding your touch to living there and it made him actually relax while he was there. You were on the large sofa sewing patches on your clothes... He could just get you new ones... though... one of those was your favorite blouse. "What happened to your blouse?" He said leaning on the back of the couch.

"Popped a button." You say as he looks at how one of the buttons over where your breasts would be had popped. Horus bit his tongue as he looked you over and indeed... your breasts had grown slightly sending a fire to his loins. Not only that just... just the fact you were here verses your own quarters doing your mundane chores; once he caught you here on your day off just relaxing and doing some sewing as you watched a drama on your cogitator... eventually he pushed it onto the large screen as the two of you sat on his couch watching tv as you were sewing what he later learned was a baby blanket for another serf... He remembers holding it and looking at the little animals on it... he liked babies... he babied some of his own sons... but they weren't his babies...

"Horus?" You say looking up at him as he was zoning out.

"Hmm? Sorry..."

"It's fine you're just staring at my blouse still... do you want to talk about it?"

"No... do you want dinner?" Horus put the blouse back down.

"Augh thank you for reminding me." You said starting to pack things up, "I finished cleaning-"

"Where are you going?" Horus says frowning.

"Back to my quarters?" You pause as you're surprised by this sudden line of questioning.

"Why?"

"I have to get started on dinner?"

"Just eat here." Horus says waving his hand.

You let out an exacerbated sigh, "My Lord-"

"Why are you getting formal on me?"

"Horus!" You say stopping him from continuing on and he looks at you... and you just let any annoyance leave you as you see him look at you with some look in his eyes that silently pleaded with you to stay. "I... Just.... You don't have anything in your fridge for me." You finally relent as he just gives you a genuine smile as you sit back down and return to sewing.

"I'll get something nice brought for you... we can always get ingredients for you to use."

"Your kitchen is huge."

"But your quarters are so far..." He whined before you could feel him suddenly beside you. "So... what if you got closer quarters?"

"If I lived closer?" You say as you were getting dangerously close to moving into the same quarters as him, stars above if that happened...

"Would you eat dinner with me more?" He said as his hands move over your shoulders, his large thumbs gently rubbing against the back of your neck and you just groan in enjoyment at the sudden massage.

"Maybe." You sigh out enjoying this. "Can I stay on your couch tonight?"

You can't hear the way his hearts jump or the restrained excitement in his voice, "Oh why?"

"It will be far too late and I'm not fighting a sea of second shift people leaving to get back to my quarters if you're also getting me dinner too."

"Of course I'll be a happy host you."

You wonder if this is what a noble who gets his undivided attention feels like as it feels weirdly intimate as food seems to arrive without you knowing... you had heard that he had wined and dined mortals before a bit before your time but... you move your stuff out of the way. But the food... the food was far too rich for you... far too good for your station... and yet you felt comfortable with how Horus ate like a commoner still. Oh he loved to relax as you had found him laying around with his men like a bunch of teenagers trying to expend as little energy but still get food into their mouths.

You don't know what happened... one moment you two were watching some horror and sharing food from your plates. How your lips bush against his fingers as he offered you to eat something as your eyes are focused on the predictable plot, "No bitch don't go in there." You say softly as you quickly burrow yourself into his side to hide from the killer that would show up.

"She's so fucked." Horus whispered but he was focused on you as you were hiding.

You hide your face in his side as the actress gets mauled on screen by the killer and he could feel your heartrate spike and he just soon pull you into his lap as you were watching through your fingers, "By the stars this is terrifying."

"I think the director is Nostroman." Horus said casually putting another piece of food to your lips and relishing the way your mouth moved against his fingers.

"I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight." You whined.

"You can stay with me." Horus says softly as you just mindlessly nod. The movie ends predictably... meaning that the killer might come back... and you lean against his chest just trying to dispel your fearful thoughts. "Did you really get scared?" He asks with some concern and you laugh and nod a bit.

"Its been awhile since I had a scare like that."

You feel his index finger curl under your chin as his thumb rests just below your bottom lip, "Good thing you have me to protect you tonight." Horus says in a husky voice that causes your breathing to hitch for a moment.

"My L-"

He cuts you off with a kiss, his hand groping the fullness of your ass as he carries you to the bedroom. Your clothes being removed piece by piece and you're in your underclothes by the time his foot closes his bedroom door. "You smell so good my little-" He cuts himself off as he kisses you hard. "Let me touch you darling... let me love you." He breathes against your skin and you moan.

"Horus... Horus..." You say spreading your legs wide as he pulls your underclothes away and his finger coaxes its way into the slick opening of your sex.

The restrained Primarch felt himself start to unravel seeing you writhe under him to his ministrations. So use to your presence he had become that the thought of you not spending the night any longer was driving him mad. You'd left your mark on this place, pictframes holding picts you had taken of Horus and his Mournival all the ones you had taken all of them being in such humanizing moments, a blanket you had sewn drapes across the back of one of the couches, your scent lingers in the couch cushions... it lingered in the air... it lingered how Horus needed.

"You'll be such a good mother." His gene enhanced voice dropped an octave as his desires were laid bare and he hummed approvingly as you clenched on his finger, your teeth pressing onto your bottom lip, as you covered your eyes with one arm whimpering as the lavished attention of your Primarch was an intense thing... and it did things to you. "You're taking my fingers so well my little wife... " He cooed into your ear, you wanted to ask what he meant by that but you also were pulled into the sexual fantasy so easily. His tongue tracing the shell of your ear, "Will you take my cock just as well?" He whispers to you and you whimper out a small orgasm as your walls clench around his fingers.

Horus pulled off his pants with such quickness you thought he had simply adjusted his position over you as he smears your fluids over his cock head. "Breathe." He orders and you obey as the sensation of his cock sinking into your sex causes you to exhale slowly and inhale sharply. Your small foot pushes against his chest during moments it becomes too much, his thumb making circles on your hipbones... Horus wondering how much more pronounced they would look on you after you had a baby.

Horus was utterly fascinated by the human body... and the way it shifts and will change to accommodate growing a life inside of it. Of course, your body would never be the same after having one... or two... or three... but the thought of you carrying something of his own making was utterly erotic for him. He sinks in more when you let him losing your breath as he bottoms out and you uncover your eyes just looking between your legs with wide eyes, "Oh by the stars." Your shocked voice shakes out as you weren't expecting to fit him, far to scared to see how big he was.

Horus chuckled softly, "Of course you would take my cock so well..." He looks down at you with such a sin ladened look that it causes you to be utterly flustered, "I seem to just..." He clicks his tongue thinking for a moment, "Have a good eye for people."

Your breath leaves you as he churns his hips and all you can manage out besides pleasured noises is his name. All the while the Primarch is whispering such lurid things in your ear; you honestly didn't realize that you might have a breeding kink as well given how he tells you what he wants to do to you in erotic detail. How he will just find a day to utterly fuck you silly and so full of his cum you'll look pregnant. How greedy he will be to suckle and lick your breasts when they start to weep... how this man can make it all sound so erotic... it makes you buck your hips back into his begging for him to give you what he is promising. Though in the back of your mind it dances how he calls you his, you are one of his menials yes, but the other how he keeps calling you wife....

You'll ask later as right now you're utterly lost to the way he fucks you from here to Terra only finally stopping when you're close to passing out to which he cums inside of you.... not that you're fully there as he kisses your throat... "Yes rest now my pretty little wife... everything... will be... care of."

You pass out not long after that the horror movie monster long forgotten as you sleep in such a lavished bed... waking up with your head on his chest listening to the twin beats of his hearts. You wipe away the drool from the side of your mouth, "Hey pretty girl." He says with a wink as his eyes darted from his datapad for a moment before looking back.

"The shift master is going to kill me." You grouse as you know you overslept.

"No he's not." Horus says amused.

"Well I guess not since I'm here to start my shift." You say with an amused snort. To which Horus copies.

"Really?"

"Can't be late to work if I never left it."

He lets out the most pleasing laugh, "Can you feel your legs?"

"Barely. So..."

"So?" He looks at you smiling.

"That breeding kink huh? You uhhh said some stuff."

"I certainly did say some things." Horus says with a smile as his hands move over your body grabbing the fattier parts with a possessive squeeze. "And I meant what I said."

You swallow as you were just a menial... not any of the pretty noble ladies that you saw in articles being friendly with the gregarious Primarch. You are soon on your back finally seeing the, once more, hard cock for only a moment before he kisses you but you were always a brave one... or perhaps stupid as you speak, "So... you want to start... something with me?"

"Did I lay it on too thick last night?" Horus says with a smile fully knowing what he said.

"Something like that my-" His hand squeezes your cheeks gently.

"None of that. No more hiding behind formality. Its a very easy way to tell you're trying to deflect. Try that again." He says as if he was gently correcting a child.

"I guess it was something like that... almost as if you wanted me for something more than a quick fuck." You force the unsaid words out.

"I do enjoy commitments. They make things more erotic for me."

You hesitate to ask about the wife comments but spin it in a way that might be able to possibly slow down the breed happy Primarch, "I... I suppose I can... um is this a way to ask me to court?"

Horus looked at you for a moment with a blank expression before it turns into his normal confident smile, "Something like that."

[vanishxcanvas]

Pool Table

Joakim "Jolly" Karlsson x F!Reader x Noah Sebastian

Oneshot / Imagine

Tags: @ladyveronikawrites, @lma1986, @blackveilomens, @cookiesupplier, @thcfountain

Content Warning: Fluff, Smut. 18+ only, mentions of dom!jolly, switch!noah, orgasm denial, male receiving oral, unprotected p/v sex, female receiving oral, use of a vibrator.

Note: This is my first "threesome" fic, trying to write more stuff out of my comfort zone. Actually ended up being 6 pages long on google docs. I'm not sorry for how long it is. Might as well turn this into a series LOL, part one here (also this one is inspired by the photo).

Ever since that comment Noah said on Christmas, you couldn't stop thinking about it. Of course, you kept it to yourself. It was a few months later, and since then, Jolly decided to buy a pool table for some reason. Why, you didn’t know. 

You had just woken up from a nap, as you got home from visiting your friend a couple hours ago. Upon waking up, you hear voices. You recognized them immediately as Jolly and Noah's. 

Of course, you were still wearing your outfit. You get up from the bed, and freshen up. Not feeling like changing your clothes, you decided to keep them on. You wore a black top, a leather jacket, and a skirt. Before taking a nap, you took your boots off. Finally deciding to leave the room, you leave. 

As you enter the kitchen, you feel a pair of eyes staring at you. You ignore it, and grab a bottle of water from the fridge. “Where were you earlier?” Jolly asked you. You suddenly turn around, and see him crossing his arms. 

“With a friend, why?” You ask.

“I see, I see.” He replies.

“Did I miss out on anything?” You ask.

“Just Noah and I chilling in the basement.” He says.

“Mind if I join? I’m bored.” You ask.

“Of course you can. If you wanna play a round of pool with me, sweet girl.” He says, smirking. 

“It’s on.” You reply, smirking back at him. 

You both go to the basement, and as you enter the room, Noah looks up from his computer. “Oh hey.” 

“Hey yourself.” You reply. 

He smiles, then looks back at his computer. You and Jolly play a round of pool. That is, until you decide to tease him. 

As you’re thinking about your next move, you bend over to do your turn. Showing Jolly your bare ass, he notices you're wearing a thong. 

“You’re cheating.” He mumbles.

“What? No I’m not.” You reply.

He places a hand on your ass and caresses it. Your breath hitches as he does this. 

“Yes you are. I have a suggestion for you, pretty girl.” He says.

“Go on.” You reply. 

“You remember what Noah said at Christmas? What if we make that happen..” He suggests.

“I’m not opposed..” You say. 

He smiles, and tells Noah. They walk back over to you, your pool stick falling to the floor. Noah presses his erection against your ass, and ruts into you.

You gasp as he does this, and you grip the edges of the pool table. Biting your lip, you can feel yourself getting soaked. 

“Fuck,” You breathe out, leaning your head back. 

“Gonna be good for us sweet girl?” Jolly asks you.

“Yes, fuck.” You reply. 

“That’s my girl.” He smiles, then kisses you while placing his hand on your throat. You moan against his lips, and Noah moves one of his hands to your thong. He can feel how wet you are and he groans. 

“You’re so wet for us baby” He says.

"I wonder why," You breathe out.

"You've wanted this for a while, haven't you?" Noah asks.

"Yes" You say.

"All you had to do was ask, baby." Jolly says, kissing the bottom of your jaw. 

Noah smirks, and moves your thong to the side. You groan as you feel his fingers on you.

"Give it to me Noah, please." You beg.

"Since you asked so nicely," He replies, sinking two fingers into you. A loud moan escapes your lips, and Jolly kisses you once more. 

A while later, as you feel that you're about to cum, Noah removes his fingers. You whine, and Jolly tells you to be patient. 

"Think we should make her wait for whining?" Jolly asks Noah.

Noah smirks, and agrees. You whimper, and Jolly pushes you so you’re on your knees. He also tells you to get on all fours, and you listen.

“I’m going to fuck your face,” Noah says.

“And I’m going to fuck you,” Jolly tells you.

“Please.” You beg. 

Noah moves so he’s standing in front of you, and Jolly behind you. Noah unzips his pants, he was hard, especially after feeling how wet you are. “Open.” he commands. You listen, and you open your mouth. Noah tests the waters at first, then starts to fuck your face. 

Because of Noah distracting you, you don’t hear Jolly unzipping his pants. When you feel Jolly against you, a moan leaves your lips. Noah feels it, and a whimper leaves his lips.

When Jolly slides into you, another moan leaves your lips, making Noah whimper again. But louder this time. Jolly notices this, and raises an eyebrow. 

“You like it when she’s moaning?” Jolly asks Noah. He doesn’t reply, so Jolly speaks up again.

“I asked you a question, Noah. Answer me.” Jolly demands.

“Yes. I like it when she moans on me.” He answers finally.

“Good boy.” He praises Noah, and he grows harder in your mouth. 

“Fuck. I’m close.” Noah says.

“Well that’s too bad, you don’t cum unless I say so.” Jolly says.

“Please let me cum, I’ve been good.” Noah begs, with pleading eyes.

“Pull out of her mouth.” Jolly demands.

Noah does so, and Jolly makes Noah watch him fuck you.

Jolly leans in your ear, “I know you’re close. Cum for me, doll.” 

You cum, and Jolly pulls out, releasing over your back. Then, he picks you up and places you on the pool table.

“We’re definitely going to have to clean this later.” Jolly laughs, and you agree.

“What about me?” Noah asks.

“What about you?” Jolly asks.

“I need attention.” Noah says.

“Maybe if you’re patient, I’ll let someone here give that to you, after another round. Now, stay seated and look pretty.” Jolly replies.

Noah sulks where he’s sitting, and Jolly looks at you. “Now, how about another round before we focus our attention on someone over there?”

“Sounds like a plan, babe.” You reply.

“Good girl.” He replies.

Jolly kisses down your neck, and leaves love bites all over your body. When he reaches your thighs, he of course leaves them there too. “Do me a favor Noah, and praise our girl while I take care of her.” He says before diving into you.

When you feel Jolly’s mouth on you, a loud moan escapes your lips. Noah smirks, and decides to praise you. “Good job, taking it like the good girl you are.”

As Noah keeps praising you, the closer you get to your edge. “I’m close,” You finally say, and Jolly just keeps at it.

When you cum it gets all over the lower half of Jolly’s face. Jolly pulls away, and you see it all.

“You taste fucking delicious every single time.” Jolly says. He kisses you, making you taste yourself. You feel something against your thigh, and you smirk.

“Is that for me, sir?” You ask.

Jolly smirks, then slides into you. A moan leaves your lips as you feel him enter you, as you were starting to feel sensitive from two orgasms already. “Think I can get one more out of you?” He asks.

“Mmhhmmm.” You mumble. Jolly smiles, “Atta girl.”

His hands go to your hips, caressing your skin as he’s fucking into you. When you finally clench around him, Jolly notices. “Close, sweet girl? Cum for me.”

You lose it at the name, and you cum around him. He pulls out, and releases on your stomach. Picking up some with your finger, you lick it off. Jolly grabs a cloth, and wipes your stomach with it, cleaning you up. 

“You okay?” He asks.

“I’m perfect.” You say.

“Good. I was wondering if you wanted to take care of someone over there, since he’s been patient enough to wait for us.” Jolly suggests.

“Yeah? Anything specific?” You ask.

Jolly hands you a vibrator. “Use this on him.” He says. “Will do, baby.” You say, kissing him. 

“I thought I was going to rail the fuck out of her?” Noah asks.

“Next time.” Jolly says.

“Oh. We’re doing this again?” Noah asks.

“If you want. It’s all up to you. Isn’t that right?” Jolly says, looking at you.

“He’s right, sweet boy.” You say, looking at Noah.

“I wanna do this again, in that case.” Noah says.

“Got it. Let her take care of you then, I’ll get things ready for when you’re done.” Jolly suggests.

“Okay.” Noah says.

Jolly leaves the room to get stuff ready for a shower, for when you’re all done. You walk up to Noah, and kiss his cheek, down to his neck.

Switching the vibrator on, you place it on his already hard dick. Noah immediately whimpers, and starts squirming. 

“I need to cum already, please let me cum.” He begs.

“Go ahead, sweet boy. You’ve waited long enough.” You say. He immediately cums, and it gets on the vibrator and your hand. You lick it off, his eyes widen. 

“This can be cleaned later,” You say turning off the vibrator and setting it on a nearby table, “let’s get cleaned up, okay?” 

He nods, and you take his hand, leading him to the restroom where Jolly is waiting. By the end of the night, you’re all cleaned up and in bed, getting some rest after the long day you had.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapter 14

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

No Laurent. All signs of recent occupancy had been a handspan away from his own body, suggesting a night spent in close but not transgressive proximity: some kind of self-preservation had apparently prevented Damen from rolling inward during the night; from throwing his arm over Laurent’s torso and drawing them together to make the small tent seem larger than it was. As a result, Damen was in possession of all his limbs, and even had his clothing restored to him. Thank you, Laurent.

The embroidery came later, in the retelling, as the story was told again and again by the men, taking on its own character as it passed over camp. The Prince had ridden out, with only one soldier. Deep in the mountains, he had chased down the rats responsible for these killings. Had ripped them out of their hiding holes and fought them, thirty to one, at least. Had brought them back thrashed, lashed and subdued. That was their Prince for you, a twisty, vicious fiend who you should never, ever cross, unless you wanted your gullet handed to you on a platter. Why, he once rode a horse to death just to beat Torveld of Patras to the mark.

like how this ironic misunderstanding of the events is similar to how damen viewed laurent in book 1 and some of book 2. except now he gets the irony

He looked at Laurent’s tent of silks, the pennants unfurled in the breeze, their starbursts undulating. The distant voices of the men swelled briefly, then dropped away. It would not be like this. It would be a systematic campaign moving southwards towards Ios, building on the support he had from the kyroi factions. He would not be stealing out of camp at night to spin mad plans, to dress in unfamiliar clothes and forge alliances with rogue clans, or to fight alongside pony-riding warriors, capturing bandits improbably in the mountains. It would not be like this again.

:(

‘Keep the prisoners alive, keep the women on side, keep my men from the women,’ said Laurent, as though reciting from a checklist. ‘Come over here and talk geography.’ He came as he was bid, and took a seat opposite Laurent, across the map.

they’re so cute i can’t stand them. “come over here and talk geography” SHUT UP

Laurent did not tend to show any of the usual outward signs of fatigue. The control that he asserted and maintained over the troop was an extension of the control with which he ruled himself. A few tells existed. The words, perhaps.

“the words, perhaps” is such a funny line here. because like yeah no shit, but also how is damen supposed to know when laurent’s words actually reflect his true feelings?

Instinctively, Damen brought his hand up to squeeze Laurent’s shoulder gently—and then stopped. Laurent went very still, as Damen became aware of what he had just done, and that his grip was still on Laurent’s shoulder. He felt the locked muscles like hard wood beneath his hand. ‘Stiff?’ said Damen, casually. ‘A little,’ said Laurent, after a moment in which Damen’s heart knocked twice against the inside of his chest.

one thing i really appreciate about capri is the way that laurent is written, as a character with trauma/baggage who experiences intimacy in a way you wouldn’t expect from the love interest in a romance novel. he doesn’t make anything easy, for himself or for damen. his physical and mental reactions to things are very telling and consistent, and i appreciate pacat’s commitment to honoring that aspect of the character. that way it’s so much more rewarding when we finally see laurent let go of control and experience love that doesn’t hurt him.

i won’t do an official count for “laurent intimacy issues,” since it’s not nearly as clear-cut as “laurent leans,” but if there’s something that strikes this chord with me, i do want to make note of it. just… stuff that i personally appreciate, especially from a love interest in a romance novel, whose whole narrative job—one would expect—is to love the protagonist and have hot sex. but sensitive and traumatized people deserve love and intimacy, too, at their own pace and on their own terms. and laurent has a lot more going on than what damen perceives, or what the romance genre dictates. it’s nice to point out little moments where his issues affect his physical and emotional reactions, because it’s nice to know that those moments 1) exist and 2) don’t make him any less of a romantic lead.

He applied a gentle pressure with his thumbs. He said, ‘You brought me ice, last night.’ ‘This,’ said Laurent, ‘is a little more—’ It was a word of sharp points: ‘—intimate,’ he said, ‘than ice.’ ‘Too intimate?’ Damen said. Slowly, he was kneading Laurent’s shoulders. He did not usually think of himself as someone with suicidal impulses. Laurent did not relax at all, just stood unmoving. And then, at the apsis of his thumbs, a muscle shifted beneath pressure, unlocking a sequence all the way down Laurent’s back. Laurent said, unwillingly, ‘I . . . There.’ ‘Here?’ ‘Yes.’

a lot going on here! made even more complicated by damen’s pov!

damen takes physical intimacy much less seriously than laurent. prior to book 1, he has always enjoyed willing and enthusiastic partners (some of whom were conditioned into that enthusiasm, but we’ll deal with that later), and to him, sex is not a means of abuse or power. prior to book 1, intimacy was never used to disempower damen. laurent, obviously, is very different. pretty much all he knows of intimacy is abuse and disempowerment.

so, being aware of laurent’s trauma and also being fairly perceptive of the signs pointing towards it, i can see here that laurent is fighting a massive battle with himself. because, like, he does want this. but he doesn’t want to want this, because this is something he doesn’t have control over. the fact that he doesn’t throw damen off, and even explicitly asks him to massage a certain spot, is a demonstration of vulnerability that damen doesn't really understand.

which isn't bad or wrong of him, at all! if he did understand more about laurent’s trauma and responses, he’d almost certainly be less confident with initiating intimacy, which is something laurent needs from a partner. it's a lot harder when they're both completely terrified (which damen is, in a different way, but lesser so.) damen is afraid that laurent will bite his head off because he’s a bitch, not because he’s traumatized. and i think that’s a good place for them to be, at this stage of their relationship.

also, the “suicidal impulses” quip is great.

He felt Laurent subtly give himself up to his hands; yet as with a man closing his eyes on the edge of a cliff, it was an act of continuous tension, not surrender.

yeah

‘Like this?’ ‘Yes.’

“he likes that. do it harder.”

Laurent’s head had dropped forward a little. Damen had no idea what he was doing. He was distantly aware that he had had his hands on Laurent’s body once before, and couldn���t believe it, because it felt so impossible now; yet that moment felt connected to this one, even if only in contrast, his current caution against the unguarded way he had let his hands slide down over Laurent’s wet skin.

damen, meanwhile, has recently developed his own intimacy issues/trauma in book 1. these two are a mess

‘Is it so hard to relax?’ said Damen, quietly.

YEAH. IT IS.

‘You only have to walk outside to see what you’ve accomplished. Those men are yours.’ He didn’t pay attention to the signs, the slight stiffening. ‘Whatever happens tomorrow, you’ve done more than anyone could—’ ‘That’s enough,’ said Laurent, pushing himself away unexpectedly.

damen he’s not stressed bc of the war stuff, he’s stressed bc another human being is showing him physical affection and he actually wants it to be happening

When Laurent turned to face him, his eyes were dark. His lips were parted uncertainly. He had lifted his hand to his own shoulder, as though chasing a ghost touch there. He did not look exactly relaxed, but the movement did look a little easier. As if realising that, Laurent said, almost awkwardly, ‘Thank you.’ And then, in wry acknowledgement: ‘Getting tied up leaves an impression. I didn’t realise being captured was so uncomfortable.’

ohhhhh my god. oh my god. so fucking real, every line is so fucking real. the relief of no longer being touched, being back in control. the fuckin, phantom touch on the shoulder—an assessment of the massage, yes, but also… whose ghost is it? damen isn’t asking that question, but i am, and it’s sad. and then the awkward thanks, and the immediate snarky comment to follow up. it’s just so real.

‘I promise I’ll never tie you to the back of a horse,’ said Laurent. There was a pause in which Laurent’s mordant gaze was on him. ‘That’s right, I’m still captured,’ said Damen.

says the protagonist of the “captive prince” series

‘Your eyes say, “For now,”’ Laurent said. ‘Your eyes have always said, “For now.”’

ohhh this line is juicy. because like, yeah, there’s the melancholy yearning context of the last 10 or so chapters, but before? when they were enemies, when laurent was actively hurting and trying to disempower damen? even then, he never showed laurent submission. and laurent clearly noticed. they make me so crazyyyy

‘If you were a pet, I would have gifted you enough by now to buy out your contract, many times over.’

this is more a flaw in my understanding of the pet system, but is he saying that he’s done damen enough favors that if the favors were monetary he could afford to pay off his contract? that’s my best understanding of the line at this point.

‘I’d still be here,’ said Damen, ‘with you. I told you that I would see this border dispute through to its finish. Do you think I’d go back on my word?’ ‘No,’ said Laurent, almost as if he was realising it for the first time.

they drive me insane. the whole “suffering alone” theme—laurent is realizing that he hasn’t been suffering alone, lately, because damen is intentionally staying by his side. laurent may be great at strategic thinking, but he is so used to being manipulated and abused that he doesn’t even consider that someone could be genuinely devoted to him, as a person.

But I know you don’t like it. I remember how much it maddened you in the palace, to be bound and powerless. I felt yesterday how badly you wanted to hit someone.

another interesting re-contextualization of book 1! although it’s not quite an apology, bc i’m sure laurent was aware of the maddening and was probably like “good. this guy killed my brother”

Damen found he’d moved without realising it, his fingers lifting to touch the bruised edge of Laurent’s jaw. He said, ‘The man who did this to you.’ The words just came out. The warmth of skin under his fingers in that moment took all his attention, before he became aware that Laurent had jerked back and was staring at him, blue eyes huge with pupil. Damen was suddenly aware of how out of control he was—he felt—and called violently on his faculties to try to put a stop to—this. ‘I’m sorry. I . . . know better than that.’

“i know better than that” is an INSANE thing for him to say here, by the way. they’re both so compelled by each other and afraid of each other. the amount of work pacat has put into their arc/characterization so far means that scenes like these can have something going on between every single line. honestly i think there’s more going on here off the page, than there is on it

‘No. Wait. I . . . wait.’ Damen stopped, and turned. Laurent’s gaze was edged with indecipherable emotion, and his jaw was set at a new angle. The silence stretched out for such a long time that the words, when they came, were a shock. ‘What Govart said about my brother and I . . . it wasn’t true.’ ‘I never thought it was,’ said Damen, uneasily. ‘I mean that whatever . . . whatever taint exists in my family, Auguste was free of it.’ ‘Taint?’

fascinated by the possible reasons for laurent to say this, in this moment. he uses it on the page to then say that damen is a good and honorable person like auguste, so that’s the easy answer. but if he was just experiencing some ptsd flashbacks, i wonder if this is also something of a grounding statement for himself. because we know who he’s referring to, when he’s talking about bad people on his family tree. it’s almost like he’s trying to figure out how to frame this situation, more for himself than damen—laurent feels protected and cared for in this moment, and the last time he allowed himself to feel that way after auguste’s death, his uncle had taken advantage. so of course he’s picturing his uncle. but this statement, a reminder to himself that damen is more like auguste than the regent, and auguste would have never done anything with laurent in the way the regent had… augh. laurent your brain.

‘I wanted to tell you that, because you,’ said Laurent, as though he was forcing the words out, ‘You remind me of him. He was the best man I have ever known. You deserve to know that, as you deserve at least a fair . . . In Arles, I treated you with malice and cruelty. I will not insult you by attempting to atone for deeds with words, but I would not treat you that way again. I was angry. Angry, that isn’t the word.’ It was bitten off; a jagged silence followed.

this is a laurent apology! no “sorry” necessary. and he’s the closest to telling damen the truth as he’s ever been, but still he stops himself. i wonder if it’s partially out of shame, for how he treated damen. a refusal to make an excuse, because he understands the cruelty of his actions regardless. and of course he has cognitive dissonance to maintain and tactical reasons for keeping the lie going. but still, this is honest.

Then, with a return to his more usual tone, ‘And you don’t need to take watch,’ said Laurent. ‘You sleep prudently.’

of course he can’t just say, like, “sleep well” or “good night.” prudently means carefully, or in good judgment… so like, he’d wake up if something dangerous happened? laurent trusts that? i can’t tell if the statement is an observation or a command. it’s either, “[i want you to] sleep mindfully” or “you sleep mindfully [so you don’t need to stay awake on watch].” hmmm

Damen searched his face, but found nothing in it that he could read, which, he supposed, as he lifted his hands to the laces of his own jacket, was typical.

buddy there is so much subtext going on here it’s okay just get some rest

[detentiontrack]

Oh wow you actually give quite good advice. Got any advice for highschoolers? I just started my freshman year (although probably some advice won’t be terribly applicable since the entire school is 25 people and my class is 4 kids, but it’s worth a shot. Also it might help other people.)

YES! I DO! So I went to a year and a half of high school before moving up to college and I HATED it. Here are some tips that would have made it suck less.

Learn to have a thicker skin. Easier said than done, I KNOW, but if someone says something mean to you, you can't let it bother you forever. Accept that they're just an asshole or are insecure and taking it out on others, and move on. Your worth is not defined by what some 14 year old bitch says about you.

It is not lame to have a good relationship with teachers! Talk to them, hang out with them during lunch, don't care what anyone else thinks.

Pack yourself a lunch every single day. Its healthier and you'll have more time to hang out during lunch.

Get involved! Join clubs, do student government or debate, do cast or crew for the fall musical. I did costumes for my freshman fall musical, and it's how I met one of my best friends who is still my best friend almost 5 years later (if you're reading this, you know who you are. ily <3)

Don't feel pressured to dress a certain way for fashion trends. I was a freshman in 2019/2020 so vsco girl/cottage core/""alt"" (that wasn't even really alternative) were very popular and I basically didn't wear any of my favorite clothes for a while. Just do what makes you happy.

Get a 504 or an IEP (educational/school accommodation plans) if you need one. They're life savers (if anyone wants another post on what was on my 504 for accommodations, lmk!)

Your body is inevitably going to change. Most people gain weight when they're in high school. Despite being a teenager, you are still a CHILD. Your body isn't going to look like an instagram model's. Don't let it get to you.

Always carry around pads or tampons with you. Even if you don't have periods. You never know when you or someone you know will get a surprise period.

Bring deodorant in your backpack every day. You will need it, even if you apply it in the morning.

Don't be that person who puts on heavy perfumes or body sprays in class. Just don't.

Take honors/AP classes if you can! They're honestly not that much more difficult and they look great on your record.

Do every single extra credit assignment!

Use google docs for everything

Take notes in every class, even if you already know the subject and notes aren't required.

Learn to study in high school, even if you don't need to. You WILL need to study in college and it's good to already know your studying style.

Take lots of photos! Even if you are insecure. You don't have to look at them, but someday you'll want to have them. I was deeply insecure in high school and have barely any photos of myself, and I deeply regret that.

You know those posts that are like "life may suck but at least I'm not 15 again"? Those posts are real. High school is NOT AT ALL the best years of your life, despite what everyone may tell you. Things can always get better.

Try not to date much in high school. Statistically, you are not going to marry your freshman year partner. Even if you think they're "the one", don't take it super seriously. You both have a lot of developing to do.

DO NOT EVER IN YOUR LIFE DATE A SENIOR AS A FRESHMAN. YOU ARE NOT MATURE FOR YOUR AGE. IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU COOL. THEY ARE NOT DIFFERENT OR SPECIAL. A 17/18 YEAR OLD HAS ABSOLOUTLEY NO BUSINESS DATING A 14/15 YEAR OLD. DO NOT GO THERE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is a LOT of pressure to lose your virginity in high school. That is bullshit. It's okay to not have sex until later. It's okay to never have sex. Anyone who tries to pressure you or tell you otherwise, is NOT someone you want in your life. The right sexual partner will respect your boundries and not try to pressure you into anything.

[moo9395]

My Ghosts headcanons

I've had these sitting in a google doc for ages so I might as well hand them over.

I've split them into stuff that 'could take place in canon' and 'modern au' stuff

Robin:

Fluent in multiple languages (kind of canon but whatever)

He has a PhD in astrophysics 

Humphrey:

He gets migraines

He’s a teacher (this is quite popular), Headteacher humphrey is cool as well

Failed his driving test 4 times in a row

Coffee gives Humphrey headaches so he drinks more of it. 

Mary:

She was a girl guide (me coded) (Credit to @kingofthefrogs swapped au for inspo)

Welsh (me coded)

Dyslexic

Kitty:

Can be heard on a spirit box (Credit to kingofthefrogs)

Likes Call the Midwife.

She is a Nurse or Doctor, possibly a paediatrician. Haven’t seen this done yet but I think it could be fun given her fascination with Maddocks’ injury.

She loves iced coffee.

Thomas:

He is scared of dogs (channeling me right now) Dante is a weird exception to this that Fanny often complains about but secretly is proud of.

He can experience temperature as a ghost. (Credit to Ailendolin) He is susceptible to heat stroke and sometimes gets a cold, especially after going in the lake.

He's left handed

He is dyslexic and/or short sighted. Bonus if he refuses to wear glasses. Double bonus if this gives him constant headaches.

Studied abroad in Holland for 2 years and developed a weed addiction, he moved back to the UK to get over it

Coffee gives Thomas headaches so he doesn’t drink it. 

Fanny:

Hypochondriac. 

Incredible at Netball (she's such a netball girlie) she plays wing attack or centre

Captain:

He has reading glasses.

Scared of chickens (Alektorophobia) (Inspired by @upsetslingshot on ao3)

Cap was in army cadets (me coded) and loved it.

Pat:

He's claustrophobic, he was in life and the fact that he died while struggling to breathe has worsened that.

He’s basically blind without his glasses. (like Velma type blind)

Road rage.

Julian:

Has hemophobia (fear of blood)

Julian was in army cadets and hated it.

Multi Character (mostly modern au stuff):

Thomas, Fanny, and Mary love watching Downton Abbey. Thomas is a passionate fan of Edith, Mary likes Sybil, and Fanny is a big fan of Violet Crawley (as she should be).

All autistic (Julian and Robin AuDHD).

Cap, Thomas, Mary, and Julian are cat people

Pat, Robin, and Fanny are dog people

Humphrey and Kitty passionately refuse to pick a side.

Thomas, Cap, Pat, Fanny and Julian are tea people.

Humphrey, Kitty, Mary and Robin are coffee people.

Robin and Humphrey as siblings/ twins.

Thomas and Kitty met in school. Thomas was being picked on and Kitty defended him.

Julian and Robin met in Cambridge Uni, Robin was doing an astrophysics PhD, Julian was doing his classmates a masters in politics.

Cap and Fanny play badminton together.

They have a group football team (more on that later)

Mary and Robin hooked up once (I know its canon but I love when it also happens in modern au's)

Hogwarts houses:

Hufflepuff - Humphrey, Pat, Mary

Gryffindor - Robin, Julian

Ravenclaw - Fanny, Thomas, Kitty

Slytherin - Cap

I'm very willing to elaborate and hear other opinions on this.

Mario Kart mains:

Robin - Bowser

Humphrey - Shy Guy

Mary - Yoshi

Kitty - Daisy

Thomas - Peach

Fanny - Toadette

Captain - Luigi

Pat - Koopa Troopa

Julian - Donkey Kong

The football team (my pride and joy):

Robin - goalkeeper, he once scored from a goal kick

Humphrey - defence, very good at headers (lol) but is frequently injured mainly due to being clumsy

Kitty - defence, she gets very invested in the game and will break knees (while apologising) 

Cap - defence, it took him a while to pick up the sport but he’s thriving, works very well with Humphrey and Kitty

Thomas - surprisingly good left winger, other teams generally see him (being himself) before the game  and write him off as a weaker player - he loves proving them wrong

Fanny - right wing, her and thomas make a weirdly good duo, she's absolutely incredible at penalties 

Pat - central midfielder and the team captain (Cap conceded that maybe Pat was a little bit better than him at football and should take the lead ‘just this once’)

Mary - Striker, really strong with both feet, closes her eyes when she takes a shot but somehow is still usually on target 

Julian - Striker, solid player but is frequently sent off for inappropriate celebrations

I had way too much fun re-reading these.

PLEASE USE THEM AND SEND ME THE FICS IM OBSESSED.

[tj-is-down]

Squire Squabble (pt. 1) Podrick Payne x reader

So, I wrote this fic in 2022 and it's been sitting in my Google Docs ever since. Enjoy it! There's a Part Two that I'll probably post tomorrow.

Summary: Pod and Brienne meet one of Brienne's old acquaintances while traveling, and Pod does not get along with the man's squire.

Word count: ~2.1k

Warnings: Swearing, maybe? I can't remember. But I know that's really it. Also, most of my fics are gender neutral, but this one is written with a feminine reader in mind. Sorry!

Pod and Brienne sit in a tavern at nightfall. Pod is eating quickly and hungrily, having not eaten anything since the day prior. His fault, really, messing up the fire and forgetting to skin the rabbit and--well, it’s best not to get into it all. Brienne, he notices, isn’t eating, despite having eaten the same amount as he has in the last twenty-four hours, which is none.

“Are you not going to eat, my lady?” He asks, mouth full of food.

Brienne doesn’t answer, instead continuing to glare in the direction of another table behind Podrick. He goes to turn his head, but is stopped by Brienne.

“Don’t you dare,” she grunts, freezing him in motion.

He slowly turns back to face her. “What are you looking at?”

“Not what,” Brienne clarifies, “who. In this case, Ser Carac McLane of Tarth.”

Pod waits for her to continue, confused. “Who?”

“We grew up together,” Brienne says, “and he tormented me every day of my life. Everything I did, he had to be better. Learned to fight before me--because he’s a man, of course--and he’s never let me live it down. He thinks that age somehow triumphs over experience and skill--two things I have, and he doesn’t. He’s arrogant, ignorant, and classless. And that’s not the half of it.”

“How long has it been since you’ve last seen each other?” Pod asks, taking another bite. “Perhaps he’s changed, or--”

“People like him aren’t ones who change, Podrick,” Brienne interrupts. Her face suddenly drops. “Shit. He’s walking over. Stop eating, and sit up straight. Don’t give him any reason to critique you. Podrick, I said stop eating!”

How am I supposed to swallow this if I can’t chew? Pod thinks, yet he doesn’t have another second to resolve his issue before they are approached by Ser Carac, along with a younger individual about the same age as Pod.

Brienne stiffens, moving to stand up, but Ser Carac waves her off. “No need for formalities, Brienne of Tarth. We’re past that by now, don’t you think?”

“I suppose so, Ser Carac of Tarth,” Brienne responds. “This is my squire, Podrick Payne.” She gestures to Pod, who nods his head, mouth still full of food. Ser Carac nods in his direction, yet his companion doesn’t, instead choosing to half-smirk at him, seeing right through his facade. He glares back at them, trying to be as menacing as possible. He realizes, however, that it’s entirely useless, as he looks like a chipmunk with his mouth full of food.

“You’ve a squire now?” Ser Carac asks incredulously. “I never thought I’d see the day you reached such a high rank. This is Y/N, my squire.”

 “What brings you to this area?” Brienne asks. “I’d have thought you were retired, old as you are.”

“Might I remind you, I’m not much older than you,” Carac states.

“Your lack of hair could’ve fooled me,” Brienne replies. Podrick nearly spits out his food holding back a laugh. He’ll have to commend Brienne for that later.

Both Carac and Y/N look over at him, Y/N shooting daggers at him. Carac, however, seems to ignore it, instead turning back to Brienne.

“Well, as much as it was a pleasure seeing you, we must be off.”

“Don’t choke, Podrick,” Y/N says,harshly patting him on the back before turning to walk away. Pod starts coughing, the food getting stuck in his throat. He quickly gulps from his cup and turns back to glare at Y/N. They’re looking over their shoulder at him, half-smirking. 

Pod decides at this moment that he dislikes them. Immensely.

“Told you,” Brienne says.

* * *

Pod and Brienne are long beyond the tavern now, about a day’s journey out. The sun is concluding its descent, and the two have decided to stop for the night, when they see the faint orange glow of a fire coming through the trees.

“Should we see about that up there?” Pod asks.

“Well, seeing as you can’t start a fire for shit, there’s no harm in joining those who already have one going, is there?” Brienne replies.

Apparently there was harm in joining those who already have a fire, since those happened to be Ser Carac and Y/N, who seem to have just begun to make camp.

“Lady Brienne, what a surprise!” Ser Carac says, although he seems more annoyed than surprised. “I didn’t know you were going this way. We could have traveled together. Although, I know how much you enjoy your beauty sleep, despite its lack of effect. I, on the other hand, wake up with the sun.”

Brienne rolls her eyes, ignoring his comment. “Would you mind if we joined you, Ser Carac? I would hate to intrude.”

“Too late for that,” Carac mutters. “But since you’re here, please, join us.”

Pod and Brienne dismount their horses, tying them up to a couple of nearby trees. Y/N stares at them as they do so, eyes following their movements. “Lady Brienne,” they say, nodding their head. “Podrick,” they add, suddenly stone cold and straight faced.

He doesn’t reply, instead taking a seat across from them by the fire.

After an hour or so, Carac speaks up. “I’m getting tired. Y/N, Podrick, make up our tents, won’t you?”

The two nod, getting up to do as he says.

They walk a short ways away from the fire, making sure they’re within eyesight but far enough away that they’re hidden if anyone sees the fire from afar and comes to attack them. Now that night’s fallen, it’s too cold to be without fire, regardless of the dangers. Pod and Y/N work silently, a wordless agreement that despite their dislike for each other, putting the tents up together is much faster than doing it alone. They put the first two up effortlessly, but when it comes to the third, things all come crashing down--literally.

Pod pulls a piece of fabric from the pile at the same time as Y/N, who then attempts to take it away from him. He pulls it back towards himself and Y/N does the same, resulting in a competition tug-of-war. After a moment, they hear the sound of the fabric tearing, and sure enough, the cover is ripped in half.

“You ripped the tent,” Y/N shouts, angry and nervous at the same time. “And now I’m going to have to answer for it.”

“That’s because it’s your fault,” Pod retorts. “You pulled too hard on the cloth, not me.”

Y/N scoffs. “Are you joking? You’re the one who pulled too hard. And I don’t appreciate--”

Pod speaks up, interrupting. “Now, that is not true, and I don’t appreciate--”

Before long, the two are in a brawl, shouting over one another and shooting daggers with their eyes.

“What’s going on here?” Brienne says as she and Ser Carac approach the pair.

“Your squire ripped the tent,” Y/N and Pod say to Brienne and Carac at the same time. They glare at each other at the realization.

“We’ve lost a tent?” Brianne asks rhetorically. “Well, I’m not sleeping on the ground. Are you, Ser Carac?”

He shakes his head. “I am not.”

“Well, then. That settles it.”

“I’m not sleeping on the bare ground,” Y/N says, turning to Pod and crossing their arms. “Be a good squire, will you?”

“Absolutely not,” Pod laughs. “You’re the one who ripped the tent, you should be sleeping on the ground.”

“You can’t be serious, I--”

“Both of you, sleep in the tent,” Ser Carac interrupts. “Or you can both sleep on the ground.”

At the sight of their faces, Brienne smirks. “And we don’t want to hear another word from either of you about it. That’s an order, Podrick.”

“You too, Y/N,” Ser Carac adds. With that, the two disappear into their tents.

“Since when did those two get along?” Y/N mumbles, staring after them, while Pod starts gathering the leftover materials for the last tent. He gets a fair bit through before catching Y/N’s attention.

“What are you doing?” They whisper to him, careful not to get the attention of either Brienne or Carac.

“What does it look like? I’m making up the tent.”

Y/N shrugs. “Have fun. I’m sleeping out here.”

“No, you’re not. You heard them, Y/N. Either we both sleep out here or we both sleep in there. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather a roof over my head, however thin.”

“I don’t care what orders we have, Podrick. I’m not sharing a tent with you, and I’d rather lose my hand like Jaime Lannister than sleep next to you out here.”

“Lucky for you, that can be arranged,” Pod grumbles. “Now, I’m serious Y/N. Come on. I’m not getting in trouble because you’ve decided to be a spoiled princess about this.”

“A princess? Me? Please. If anyone here’s acting that way, it’s you. Why does it matter where I sleep?”

“Are you even listening to me?”

“No.”

Pod rolls his eyes before continuing. “We’ve been given orders, Y/N.” He grabs their arm and tries to pull them toward the tent. “Come on.”

Y/N pulls back. “No.”

“Y/N, please, I won’t do this all night--”

He pulls harder, but Y/N loses their footing and falls onto him, toppling into the tent.

For a minute Y/N is frozen on top of him, shocked at the quick change in position from standing up to laying down. They feel the warmth of his breath on their face, and his eyes flicker quickly to their mouth before meeting their eyes again.

“All right, Princess,” he says, slowly rolling Y/N off of him. “Off you go.”

“What did I tell you about that nickname?” They reply, exasperated.

“When are you going to realize that it doesn’t matter to me what you tell me?” He cocks an eyebrow. “You might think you’re royalty, but you aren’t. You’re a squire, just like me.”

“Believe me, I’m nothing like you.”

“Thank the gods. Now, go to sleep, will you? I’m tired.”

* * *

Pod is still awake a while later, though he’s not sure how much time has passed. Y/N shakes and stirs, clearly attempting to not make a sound. They are unsuccessful.

“You’re keeping me up,” Pod says monotonously. “Go to bed.”

“I’m cold,” they say, and Pod hears them turning to the other direction. The two are facing outward, away from each other, about a foot apart. There isn’t much space for anything more than that, since the tent is so small. The temperature has dropped drastically in the night, and although Pod has a coat, he can still feel a chill in the air.

“Aren’t you from the North?” Pod asks.

“So? I’ve not a coat, Podrick. A wolf would be cold in this weather.”

“Well, I’m not giving you my furs,” he grunts. “Then I’ll be cold.”

“I wasn’t asking.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

Y/N continues to toss and turn, not caring whether or not they keep Pod awake. Why must they make him suffer just because they are?

After a moment Pod lets out an irritated sigh, and shuffles over. At the feeling of his body behind theirs, Y/N stiffens.

“What are you doing?” They ask him.

“Getting you warm. I need sleep, Y/N, and I won’t very well get that with you moving around every ten seconds. Now, come on, move closer.”

They wait a moment, he assumes in order to process his words. He’s not gotten along with Y/N since their meeting the day before, and he knows they’d rather not give in to anything he says or asks, but at this point he also knows they’re too tired and cold to care. They scoot backwards a half an inch, seemingly satisfied with the positioning as Pod wraps an arm around them. He tries to keep his face away from theirs, but eventually gives up and rests it in the crook of their neck.

“This means nothing,” Y/N asserts, stating matter-of-factly.

Pod doesn’t buy it, though. He feels their heart beating and their breath evening, giving away the comfort and ease they feel in the position you two are in. “Whatever you say, Princess.”

“I hate that nickname. And I really hate you.”

“Whatever you say, Princess.”

[neon-vocalist]

here it is! "where does the path of thorns lead," chapter one!

translation taken mostly from puroeng's video, with some syntax changes to make it sound a bit more natural! here's the google doc link, and the text will also be below the cut. enjoy!

[Scene: Mizuki’s Room]

Mafuyu’s message: Thank you. I was able to tell my dad.

Mizuki: Eh…

Mafuyu’s message: He understood how I felt.

Mizuki: Ah… (...Mafuyu was able to say it. Even though she was so scared of the idea that she might be denied. She was able to face her own feelings and father…) (...I also want to move forward.) (...I’ve always been running away, and now it’s come this far.)

Flashback: Ena stands on the rooftop, smiling at camera.

Mizuki: (I also took advantage of Ena’s words. However— I want to tell it…) (This time, properly and honestly…) (...Okay. If I am to tell it… the very first one to hear it must be Ena. Because she’s been waiting all this time.) (...Firstly, let’s ask when we can meet—)

Flashback: Black screen. An unknown female voice says “...How weird.”

Mizuki: …..Eh…… I don’t want to run away… No more… I don’t want to run away anymore!

Mizuki stands for a moment, silently, with a miserable expression on their face.

Mizuki: Ah…. (My hands are shaking… I can’t type properly…) (...Calm down. It’s fine to do it slowly—)

Mizuki: …Okay. (The last thing to do is… send it. Once I send it, after that…)

Flashback: Black screen. An unknown male voice says “Eh…? Ah… I see.”

Mizuki: …

Flashback: Black screen. An unknown male voice says “They’re kind of a pain to deal with. It’s all for show, right?” A second male voice chimes in “They just want attention.”

Mizuki: No… I… just…

Flashback: Black screen. An unknown female voice says “Maybe it’s just a misunderstanding.” A second female voice says “Ah… It’s kind of tough.” A male voice says “There’s times you think that way when you’re young, huh?”

Mizuki: …… (Ena�� and everyone… They will not… reject me…) (They are very nice… so they will understand the pain of others…) (Even though that’s what I think…)

[Scene: Empty Sekai, a few days later.]

Kanade: …So, it seems that the demo is going on track. Let’s end this here.

Ena: Okay… Ugh, my shoulders are so stiff now. I will do some stretching before I go to bed.

Mafuyu: …I’d suggest that too. You don’t seem to exercise much.

Ena: Wh— I know it! I already told you Kanade and I go walking sometimes, didn’t I?

Mafuyu: …I doubt it’s ‘sometimes.’

Ena: Uhh… That’s true, but…! Ugh… Just when I begin to think I’ve become better, and there she is.

Mizuki: Ahaha! But this kind of conversation smells familiar, and I like it! ♪ 

Kanade: —Ah… Speaking of smell… Don’t you guys think something smells like a festival stall today?

Ena: Eh?

Miku: …It’s true. It smells a little.

Mizuki: Hmm… It smells like sauce, I guess. Did anyone bring food here today?

Mafuyu shakes her head.

Ena, ashamed: Uu… umm… That might be me…

Rin: Ena?

Ena: You know the cultural festival is coming, right? My class is going to have an ikayaki stall, so I’ve been learning to grill them in home economics class lately.

Mizuki: Eh…

Kanade: Cultural festival… I see. It’s that time of year, huh.

Mafuyu: …You’re participating?

Ena: Hmm— I thought I should try once. There have been lots of events going on lately, and they’re all fun… and I also heard that Mizuki’s class is up to something really interesting.

Luka: Oh! Really?

Mizuki, nervously, speaking too quickly: Ah… Y-yeah! We’re using the classroom as an escape room! Solve a few hidden puzzles and you can escape the classroom! That sort of thing!

Len: Ah… That sounds interesting…

Ena: Right? Also, the last festival seemed like it was a lot of fun, so I’m thinking about participating in the one this year!

Mizuki, still nervous, but pretending to be excited: I— I see!

Their inner monologue sounds distressed. They stand with an anxious expression.

Mizuki: (...Ena… is coming to the cultural festival…) (But… if that’s true…)

KAITO: Hm? (What was that? That expression just now…)

MEIKO: ….

KAITO:  (...MEIKO?)

Ena: …Well… but I’m still quite uncertain.

Mizuki: Eh?

Ena: I tried it today and realised that grilling ikayaki was much harder than I had expected, and the smell would linger, too. Besides, I’m getting a lot of assignments from art class, so it'll be a bit hard to make time for the festival. So, I think I’ll decide whether or not to go at the last minute.

Mizuki: Ah… I see… …Well then, let me know if you’re coming! I want to eat the ikayaki you grill!

Ena: Yeah, yeah.

Mizuki stands smiling for a moment before dropping the facade. 

Mizuki: (Ena… might come to the cultural festival. If that’s the case… maybe by some chance, things about me… …Ah… Even now? Such things, If that’s the case, they’re always happening anyway… If it happens, just let it be... I’m always thinking that, somehow… and I’ve come this far…) (But… but now… If it turns out like that now… I don’t like this…) (If so…)

Flashback: Black screen. A female voice says “...How weird.”

Present time. Mizuki sobs.

Mizuki: (...If she comes… If she comes, I’ll tell her. If Ena actually comes to the festival… then, I will, definitely… and if she doesn’t?) (...No. Even if she doesn’t come, I will still tell her somewhere else.) (Definitely, from me, myself…)

[Empty Sekai]

MEIKO stands with a concerned look on her face.

Meiko: ……

[th3p0rtalmaker]

Incarnate Deleted Scenes - Hector's (Scrapped) Transformation

Writing chapter 1 of my Incarnate fic took FOREVER. There were so many revisions, so much prep and planning that took place in my head before I started typing anything, and I think I genuinely triggered myself a little bit because there were several incidents where I would be in the middle of passionately and excitedly working on the chapter, only to suddenly feel drowsy and fall asleep while sitting at my laptop. I was going thru my Google Docs and found one of the original drafts of Hector's initial transformation. While rereading it, I realized it was actually pretty good and there were parts I might be able to recycle for later on in the fic. And since chapter 4 of Incarnate was really short, and it was posted about seven months after chapter 3, I figured you guys might appreciate getting to read this deleted scene while I work on chapter 5! Hope you enjoy! ^^D

(Continue reading under the cut)

Adira dropped to one knee beside him, eyes wide in disbelief. Her brother wrapped both arms around his chest protectively and gave her a fearful glare. “Don’t touch me! What have you done?!” Hector demanded. The panicked, begging tone in his voice didn’t make Adira feel any better about this horrific development.   “I won’t touch you unless it’s absolutely necessary,” she assured gently. Adira then turned and shouted down the bridge, “EDMUND!” thankful to see her king already halfway to them.   “No!” Hector yelped, rolling onto one side and turning his back to her. He was panting softly now, fear and anxiety lacing his every breath. “H-he can’t see me…I didn’t mean to…I’m sorry…” he murmured breathlessly, beginning to tremble.   “Hector you didn’t do anything - Edmund and I will figure out what to do, you’ll be okay,” Adira soothed, sliding her Shadow Blade into the sheath on her back.   “What happened?” Edmund called as he approached the island of black rock. “The Moonstone shattered,” Adira replied, looking up at him.

  “How?” the king demanded upon drawing level with them. Adira stood and stepped around Hector’s body, letting the monarch kneel at his back.

  “I broke it,” she confessed readily, kneeling in front of her distraught brother. “The opal is no longer a viable container for the Moondrop’s power-” “How do you know?”   Adira gestured to the pile of rubble at the base of the pedestal. Upon registering the sight, Edmund’s face went pale. “The power of the Moonstone needed a stable vessel…” Adira trailed off. She hadn’t quite processed the sight of the celestial magic moving from one host to another of its own accord, much less the fact that Hector had been its first choice.   “Vessel?” the other knight whispered, his luminous eyes wide with horror. He lifted one arm off his chest for a sudden inspection. Adira saw the thin layer of red coating his skin, and was momentarily relieved to see one thing she did know how to deal with. “No-no-no, what is it doing?!” Hector whimpered.   “It’s just bloodsweat, tam'muḍu,” she assured. “You’ve had it a couple times before, remember? It’s a result of intense stress, which you are definitely undergoing-”   “It’s everywhere,” Hector muttered, holding his other arm beside the first. “Everywhere!” Adira took note of the thin layer of red liquid coating the second appendage, then let her eyes run along his form. She realized that the darkened spots on his tunic and leggings, which she had presumed were normal sweat stains, were quickly expanding to cover his entire body. And there was a definite red tinge to them. This Adira had not, in fact, had to deal with before. She only remembered a handful of occasions from their training years in which Hector’s anxiety had become so overwhelming that blood vessels just beneath his skin had temporarily ruptured. This allowed thin traces of blood to mingle with his sweat, painlessly seeping through his skin. But the bloodsweat had always been localized to one or two areas, never spread over his whole body. “Okay, roll onto your back,” Adira instructed, forcing her voice to remain calm. “We need to figure out what we’re dealing with.” Hector gulped, shivering and holding both fists to his chest.

  “Please-” she heard him whisper, although what he was asking for Adira didn’t know. Edmund carefully grabbed the younger man’s shoulder with a gloved hand. Adira saw Hector’s eyes widen briefly, before shutting tightly as his teeth ground together and he tucked his chin to his chest. She’d never done well interpreting the body language of other people, but she’d known Hector long enough to read him like a book. Before the king could pull on him, Adira’s hand shot out and grabbed Edmund’s, ripping it off Hector’s shoulder.

  “He said he didn’t want to be touched - we have to keep physical contact to a minimum,” she warned, throwing his hand aside. Edmund blinked at her, then glanced down at the pitiful state Hector was in.

  “I don’t think he’s going to react the way you normally do,” the king reasoned with a confused expression.

  “That’s not the point,” Adira countered firmly. “This is an emergency and he’s panicking. He needs to be cared for, not man-handled.” “And how are you determining the difference?”   “Right now, he is.”   “Adira! What happened to the Moonstone?” Adira nearly jumped at the sound of Princess Rapunzel’s voice. She and Edmund turned to see the Coronan party arriving at their end of the bridge, Rapunzel already standing close by and ogling wide-eyed at Hector. “Is Hector okay? How can I help?”   "Keep that blonde ball of nightmare fuel AWAY FROM ME!" Hector screeched, crossing his arms over his chest and curling further into himself. Rapunzel stepped back in surprise, the rest of her friends coming to a stop behind her.   After sharing a brief look with the white-haired warrior, Edmund told the princess, “You and your friends are not citizens of the Dark Kingdom, and should not be present for this.”   “What about me?” Fishskin asked, stepping up beside his girlfriend. Adira respected the concern he exhibited for a man that recently tried to kill him, but knew the presence of the long-lost prince would only agitate her brother.   “You aren’t a member of the Brotherhood, and you mean nothing good to Hector,” she answered soberly. “He needs the help of people he knows and trusts.”   “But I’m the Sundrop, there must be-” Rapunzel began to argue.   “Respect our boundary, princess,” Adira snapped icily. Her hand reflexively reached behind her head, fingertips brushing the hilt of her Shadow Blade as she leveled a glare at the Sundrop’s host. She’d witnessed the younger woman’s inability to resolve conflict and respect the boundaries of those she considered friends - she was beginning to see how much Rapunzel had to learn in the ways of respect and diplomacy. “You endangered my brother’s life without reason once already. I won’t permit it a second time.”   “He tried to kill us!” Short Hair snapped back, stepping ahead of Rapunzel. “Now she’s offering to help him, and your response is to threaten her?” Adira’s eyes narrowed, and she gripped the handle of her Shadow Blade fully. Rapunzel looked shocked, as if she hadn’t expected Adira to defend her own brother from unwanted meddling.   “Guys, let’s leave it,” Fishskin spoke up, glancing uncomfortably at Hector’s gasping, vulnerable body and placing a hand on Rapunzel’s shoulder. “This is serious. Adira and Edmund probably know how to handle it better than we do.” Rapunzel nodded silently, leaning into her boyfriend’s touch.   “Thank you, son,” Edmund said with a nod. Short Hair scoffed and held a short glaring match with Adira, before turning and following the rest of the group across the bridge and out of the Moonstone chamber. Adira maintained her grip on her sword’s handle until the door to the chamber gently boomed closed. She released the weapon with a small sigh and let her shoulders drop slightly.   “Hector, if you can’t roll over we’ll situate you,” she said, looking down at him. The younger knight’s eyes met hers nervously, his shoulders and chest heaving for breath as the bloodsweat soaked through his torn clothes completely. “But you can do it yourself if you want.” His gaze dropped away, and his face creased with a look of helpless discomfort as his parted lips began to tremble. Adira assumed the appearance of Rapunzel and her friends had spooked him too much. “You want us to do it - yes or no?” she asked gently. (Insert missing segment where Hector is covered in ooblek bloodsweat) Adira fell silent as the substance coating Hector’s body went from navy purple to an electrifying shade of blue, slightly glowing of its own accord. He yelped and yanked out of her grip, stared at himself in horror for a moment, then pushed himself into a sitting position with a loud groan.   “What are you doing?” Adira demanded nervously, holding one hand as close as she could to Hector without accidentally touching him.

“I’m not dying in a puddle of magic bloodsweat,” Hector grumbled irritatedly, pressing a hand to his injured ribs.   “Hector this isn’t the time for you to be moving in any way,” Adira countered, hoping she wouldn’t have to wrestle him back down. Edmund shifted his bulk a little closer to the smaller man, as if that would dissuade him from attempting to stand in his panicked state.   “Says you!” Hector sneered. “You don’t even know what’s happening right-”

A pained shriek rent the air, and then there were long, thin spikes of black rock extending out of Hector’s right arm, the one closest to Adira. They were clustered just beneath his wrist and elbow, and completely circumferenced his forearm. All three warriors watched in a mix of shock and horror as the shards paused, then laid flat against Hector’s forearm in a series of interlocking shards. The startlingly blue former-blood continued oozing from the seams between the black rock shards, a few drops growing large enough to slide down to Hector’s elbow and then plop softly on the ground.   Hector was staring in wide-eyed, slack jawed horror at his newly encased limb. Only a few moments of silence passed before he began releasing small whimpers and moans, his body starting to tremble. At his sounds of distress Adira snapped out of her own reverie. “Hector lay down,” she commanded sternly. He slowly and shakily complied, holding his right arm protectively to his chest. “Can I look at your arm?” Adira requested, forcing herself to speak in a calmer, soothing voice. Hector shook his head with a slight gasp. “Hector I need to see your arm-”

“It’s not going to help you,” Hector whimpered. “None of us know what’s happening-”   “I’m not going to do anything painful; I’m just going to scrutinize it,” Adira assured. Hector resisted a few moments longer, before reluctantly lifting his arm in her direction. Adira let him rest the appendage in her open hands this time, and her eyes searched the black shards for any helpful clues that could be found. Hector continued whimpering softly in a manner that perfectly mimicked his furry sisters. The oozing seams suddenly disappeared as the shards magically stitched themselves together, forming an unbroken layer that covered Hector’s entire forearm. An epiphany struck her.   “That’s what it’s doing,” she muttered conclusively.   “What w-what’s doing?” Hector demanded.   “What are you thinking, Adira?” Edmund inquired.   “The Moonstone - Moondrop has augmented his blood into some kind of adhesive,” Adira explained, looking up at the king. “It’s meant to hold the black rocks in place to form armor.” She lifted Hector’s arm slightly for emphasis, bending his elbow a little to make sure he wasn’t hurt by the action. “That’s why it made sure Hector was coated before the rocks even broke his skin. And if their emergence causes him to bleed, that means more adhesive for a stronger stick,” she explained. Hector’s face creased with confusion.

“Arm…wh-why armor?” he asked, sounding more out of breath with every word.   “Well, the Moondrop probably doesn’t want its new home to be destroyed as easily as the last one,” Edmund reminded them uneasily.   Hector’s eyes went wide and he shrieked, “NO!” He pulled his arm out of Adira’s hold once more and cradled it to his chest, turning onto his right side and curling in on himself. “No-no-no-no-no!” he whimpered in despair. This time it sounded as though he was truly starting to cry. “Make it stop! Give it the fucking Sundrop, not me!” he begged. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”   “Hector I swear on the house of my father I will find a way to reverse this, but it isn’t going to happen right now,” Adira affirmed, even as her stomach trembled from the weight of what she knew was about to take place. “You have to trust us, and you cannot fight what the Moondrop is doing.” Hector simply lay curled on the floor for several moments, panting heavily and making distressed murmuring noises. Then his body tensed and he let out a groan.   “Not again, not again-not again-not again-”

“Give me your hand,” Adira instructed gently, holding her own near Hector’s bowed head. “Let me keep your arm off the floor.” Shaking, not looking up at her, Hector slowly peeled his left arm from his body and rested his hand in hers. Adira gripped said hand and pulled it closer to herself, extending his arm just enough to be sure that the forthcoming black rocks wouldn’t come in contact with any other part of his body. Hector spasmed momentarily, and then the tips of fresh black rocks sprouted from the blood-adhesive coating his arm. Adira set her mouth in a firm line, but couldn’t completely hide her grimace. She watched the same destructive force that had torn apart her kingdom push itself through her brother’s flesh - while he was still alive to feel the pain.   Based on the sounds Hector made, he was groaning and growling through it with gritted teeth. His left hand tightened around hers in a death-like grip. His right hand dug into the black rock floor with curled fingers, scratching desperately. The new spikes of black rock reached a satisfactory length relatively quickly, and after a moment’s pause, laid flat against Hector’s forearm. He released a loud sigh of relief, then heaved for air as his left arm oozed and dripped for several seconds. Finally the flat shards melded into a single, unbroken layer, and Adira gently rested Hector’s arm on the ground. She let him lay still, breathing heavily with his head bowed, and studied his goop-covered body to figure out the best way to proceed. “Do your feet hurt from sweating too?” she finally asked. Hector panted for several seconds before replying.

  “Yes…why?”

  “We should get your boots off then. The black rocks will easily tear through them, but any scraps of leather that get caught between you and the armor might hinder it from conforming properly,” Adira advised.

  “By that logic, should we strip him entirely?” Edmund asked. Adira shook her head. “His tunic and leggings are thin enough not to cause problems, probably his socks too,” she replied. “And if we remove his clothes we’ll probably remove a significant portion of the adhesive, which his heart will have to work even harder to replace.” She fully believed Hector’s clothing wouldn’t be a hindrance to his future armor. She also knew Hector had a deeply ingrained discomfort with being seen naked that rivaled her aversion to touch. She could hear the relief in her brother’s panting immediately after her declaration that he would only be losing his boots. Addressing him once more, she said, “Hector, I’m going to remove your belt and garter so they don’t get destroyed or cause problems. I need you to roll onto your back so I can cut the garter off cleanly.”   “...You said…save it,” he wheezed, lifting his head to give her a confused look.   “We can mend it much easier if it stays in one piece,” Adira elaborated gently. Hector thought over her logic for a moment, before nodding dazedly. Adira took note of how dizzy and clumsy he was when simply rolling himself over. True to his prediction, he lay soaked and surrounded by a pool of his augmented blood, and the loss of bodily fluid was starting to take its toll on him. “Edmund and I will be quick,” Adira said as she drew a knife from her boot and slid her other hand beneath Hector’s garter. She looked up at Edmund and gave him a short nod, which he returned. “If you feel another wave of the rocks coming, tell us immediately,” she instructed as she positioned her blade beneath the garter, holding its sharpened edge against the accessory.

“‘Kay,” Hector moaned uncomfortably, his arms resting limply by his sides. Edmund deftly slid the knight’s boots off as Adira cut through his garter and pulled it off his thigh.   “Has your heart rate slowed?” she asked as she slid the knife back into her boot and set the accessory aside. She then grabbed the belt around his waist.   Hector, with his eyes closed, took a deep breath and weakly muttered, “No.” Adira nervously looked down at his feet. It was almost impossible to tell he was even wearing socks. His tunic and leggings had nearly disappeared beneath the ever-thickening layer of blood-adhesive as well.   “He can’t keep losing blood at this rate,” she grumbled to herself as she undid his belt, slathering her hands in the glowing substance as a result.   “Sister,” Hector grunted nervously as she pulled it off. After setting the belt aside, she turned back to make eye contact with him. “Please…this…is a dream?” he begged weakly. His normally luminous eyes were dim, while the glow of his magically augmented blood seemed brighter than a few minutes prior. Adira’s expression dropped sadly, and she gently pressed her soiled fist into her brother’s limp, open palm. “I’m afraid this is very real, tam'muḍu,” she replied. As the reality of the situation fully gripped him, Hector’s chest and shoulders began to heave once more. His eyes shut tightly and he started shaking ten times worse than before, pulling his hand away from his sister’s. He started whimpering in the manner his bearcats did, hugging himself and murmuring, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”  “Hector, you don’t need to apologize,” Adira insisted gently. “You did your job as well as you could. I’m the one who - I should have…” she trailed off.   She should have what?

Should she have abandoned her quest for the Sundrop upon discovering it inhabited the body of a foreign princess?   Should she have chosen another route through the Southern Mountains, avoiding a confrontation with Hector entirely?   Could she have been more careful and not unleashed the homeless power of the Moonstone on her own brother?   Adira found herself locking eyes with Hector once more, knowing what he deserved to hear, but unable to pinpoint why he deserved it from her.

“I…” Hector broke the staring match, grinding his teeth and pushing his head back with a loud moan. Letting go of the moment, Adira turned to see if she could pinpoint where the rocks would appear next. Edmund set his hands on Hector’s ankles in preparation, but Adira waved her hand disapprovingly. “Let him move, or do whatever he needs to,” she instructed. “We have no way of knowing where the rocks-”   Hector’s moaning became significantly louder and he started scratching at the floor with both hands. Edmund pulled his own hands away just as new black spikes began emerging just above Hector’s ankles and just below his knees. These were significantly larger than the ones from his arms. Twin armies of miniature spikes also erupted over his feet, completing their mission of coverage surprisingly fast and forming what looked like a type of shoe. Hector attempted to bend his knees so his feet could rest flat on the floor, his teeth gritted and his every exhale punctuated with a pained grunt. Adira eyed the spikes that would eventually cover his shins and calves as they extended out of his body. “He’s not strong enough to keep his legs up,” she declared. “Can you support him without getting stabbed?” she asked, glancing at Edmund.

The king nodded and placed his hands behind both of Hector’s knees, careful to not touch the emerging black rocks while bending his legs so his feet laid flat on the floor. These bigger spikes were causing noticeable bleeding, making the section of adhesive between them impressively thick and causing the pool beneath Hector’s legs to spread a bit faster. Adira felt a pinprick of relief once they laid flat against his shins and calves. That was instantly snuffed, however, as a new ring of spikes began pushing free just above Hector’s knees, while his lower legs still had oozing, dripping seams. Then her heart gave a nervous shudder as a second ring of spikes erupted above the first, and then a third, starting a new pattern that was directed towards Hector’s upper body. Hector began wailing open-mouthed, fingers curled and nails digging into the floor as his arms went rigid. Not seeing an opposing ring of spikes emerge closer to his hips, Adira assumed the black rocks were now on a course that would end near her brother’s head.   And that would require some repositioning.   “Lift him - off the ground!” she commanded. “They’re not going to stop!” She turned away from Edmund’s confused face and slid her hands beneath Hector’s lower back.   “What are you doing?!” Hector demanded through his wailing.   “Making sure there’s space between you and the ground,” Adira replied, practically shouting over the sounds of her brother’s pain. “We’ll hold you up until your legs are done, and then put you back down, okay?” she explained, pulling up so that Hector’s hips and lower back were suspended. Edmund held his knees even higher. The black rock spikes erupting over his thighs were much shorter and wider than the ones from his lower legs, yet they caused just as much bleeding. Hector’s legs twitched and spasmed as he vented his pain, feet flopping against Edmund’s diaphragm. His knees remained untouched by the rocks, merely slathered with the glowing blood-adhesive. “Did the seams on his lower legs close up?” Adira asked loudly, focused on keeping her brother partially suspended in the air.

“They did,” Edmund confirmed equally loudly.   “Good,” Adira replied. Once Hector’s legs were covered hip to toe by a flattened layer of the black rocks, she instructed Edmund to gently put him back down, moving in tandem with the king to limit her brother’s discomfort. Hector’s wailing was finally reduced to animalistic whimpering and heavy, ragged breaths. He lay with all four limbs splayed on the ground for a few moments, upper legs oozing from their still-open seams. Hector’s sweat-drenched head flopped in Adira’s direction, and he gazed up at her through unfocused eyes.   “You…s-said-” His eyes then widened and he sloppily slapped both hands to his abdomen, gripping it desperately. “Stop! Stop-stop-stop PLEASE!” Realizing his un-armored hands were going to be impaled, Adira did the one thing she really didn’t want to do in this situation. She grabbed his forearms and lifted his hands off his stomach, holding firm as he struggled to escape her grip. “LEMME’-!” he demanded, then cut himself off with a strangled, high-pitched scream, louder than any war cry she’d heard him emit on the battlefield. The shards of black rock that emerged to cover his abdomen were not long or spiked. They were wide, short, and round, akin to scales, and maybe a quarter of Adira’s palm in size. Their sharp edges gleamed like miniature chakrams as they broke through the blood-adhesive coating Hector’s belly, traveling in two opposite directions from the centerline of his body. Adira grimaced, seeing tears spill out of her brother’s eyes and pour down his face, mingling with the sweat dripping from his forehead. He ripped his right arm free and raked his nails across his stomach in an attempt to claw the “scales” from his skin. Adira quickly grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away, letting his left arm slide through her grip before tightening around his other wrist. Hector twisted and thrashed as the black rock scales blossomed over his torso, covering his stomach, pelvis, and chest and leaving pencil thin seams between them. No matter how hard he tried to yank his hands free, Adira refused to let go. The black rocks were relentless, spraying droplets of the glowing, blue blood-adhesive to pepper both their hands and Adira’s arm guards as they appeared, before laying flat to Hector’s form. If Hector’s fingers were trapped beneath his new armor, then…well, Adira didn’t know what would happen then. She was determined not to find out, no matter how many tears she had to watch him cry or how disturbed his screaming and sobbing became. The only thing that could possibly be worse than watching her brother be adapted to the Moondrop’s liking - against his will - would be watching that modification process go wrong. Hector tried pulling his wrists close to his mouth so he could sink his fangs into her hands, but Adira shifted and made sure he bit down on her forearm guards instead. He tried in vain to twist his neck and throw her arms aside, biting down multiple times in search of a promising grip while continuing to scream his lungs out. Adira simply shook him off each time. When she saw the black rock scales progress over his shoulders and around his sides, she let him latch onto her arm properly. Using it as a third anchor point, Adira began shuffling backwards on her knees and pulled Hector towards herself, rolling him onto his belly. “Get his legs!”

  At her demand, Edmund carefully grabbed Hector’s left leg and lifted it over his right leg, pushing gently against the man’s lower back as he did so. Adira waited until Hector was completely overturned to release his wrists and pull her arm from his mouth. Once he was freed from both their grips, Hector pushed himself up into a half-plank, shaking on his elbows and forearms, before falling flat on the floor. He was still screaming, sobbing audibly with his fists clenched by his head, which was turned to face Adira. The woman’s gaze flicked between his tear streaked face and the black rock scales that washed over his back and shoulders. They even extended down to cover his upper arms, stopping just above his elbows. The two waves met at his spine and merged together, and at last, the Moondrop was satisfied.

[maximwtf]

request for izzy hands x male or gn reader (romantic). reader is friends with calico jack (i luv will arnett so lets pretend calico is alive lmao). back on hornigold's ship, izzy, blackbeard, calico and reader were extremely close/ tight with one another. so yk how they hinted at calico and ed having relations w one another at some point? maybe that also happened with reader and izzy. like there has always been romantic tension between reader and izzy and they both acted upon it at some points but never really made anything official.

anyways, they each go their separate ways eventually. izzy going with ed and calico and reader being impulsive and crazy sons of bitches who just end up seeing wherever the sea takes them without any plans. years later, calico jack and reader reunite with ed and izzy (and now stede is there of course, as well as the rest of the crew). izzy and ed assumed reader to be dead for a very long time up until this point. idk just re-blossoming romance with izzy x a reader who is his complete opposite and is fucking crazy. first kiss possibly and idk i've never seen any fics where reader is friends with calico so! sorry if this is redundant or hard to read. english is not my first language. bonus points if reader can convince calico jack to take a bath (that man smells like shit 100%)

Izzy Hands x Reader

Words: 4k

Google Docs Pages: 6

Warnings: smoking, drinking, idiots in love fr, if you squint there’s some angst, mostly just fluffy banter idk I don’t usually write stuff like this :”D 

Opening: You go way back with Blackbeard, Calico Jack and Izzy Hands, all the way to the time you were a part of Hornigold’s crew. But eventually all nice things have to come to and end, and you all go your separate ways. You stick with Calico Jack and lose contact with Blackbeard, and Izzy whom you’d grown fond of. 

After a long time, you come across the two at Spanish Jackie'z, and realise that same old fondness never really disappeared. 

AN// Gn Reader! I meant to write this as a he/him, but I forgot xd. I’m so sorry this took me so long to make, omg :”D I got into so many other things after ofmd that I couldn’t bring myself to write the rest of the requests, but aye I’m here again and as good as new! (or maybe not, maybe I forgot how to write for these characters.) Anyway, I’ve had time to let this one brew. I’ve loved the idea since it came in, had lots of fun with this !!

Anyway I wanted to write this before I get Baldur's Gate 3, just in case I want to start writing for that and postpone these even more :”D So enjoy the last Izzy request I had left!! <3

“A light that never goes out.”

As famous as the ship of Hornigold’s might have been, life as a part of the crew was not the easiest. Hornigold wasn’t afraid of threatening his crew, nor was he playing around when he did so. You’d seen how he treated the young cabin boys on board, like disposable toys. And maybe he did have more respect for the older crew members, but that did not save you from the overly hard work and stress of the captain acting on his threats. Which you knew he would do with no problem and most likely with a smile on his face. 

So what did you do to get through your days on a ship like this? You drank with the fleet. And that you were doing now, knowing there wasn’t anything to be done for the day. The sun had already set and the sea calmed down to rest for the night.

An oil lamp on the table was providing some light, otherwise the space was rather murky. An empty rum bottle had fallen on its side in the middle of the table, a freshly opened one going across the table, person to person. There wasn’t any to waste, though you played around with the thought of sharing being caring.  

Calico Jack sat on the other side of the table from you, Edward closest to him. You watched the bottle being passed between them, the noise of Izzy moving ever so slightly behind you bringing you back from your thoughts. This allowed you to pick up on the topic of the conversation. Jack and Edward complaining about the captain, Jack clearly a little more buzzed based on his speech. You flashed them a lazy smile, agreeing with what they were saying that way. Not joining the conversation since the two of them seemed to be so deep into it. But it was nothing unusual. Usually as the night went on the two of them would continue to converse, leaving you and Izzy to the sidelines to do your own thing and jump in on the topic when you felt like it. But neither of you minded that, usually finding the silence comfortable or conversing with each other silently. He was pleasant to talk to, even if you knew he wasn’t so fond of Jack and his behaviour that had rubbed off on you over time. Though, you tried to keep it at bay when with him.  

You leaned back on your chair, stretching your arms. The action allowed you to see Izzy as he pulled a packet of cigarettes from his pocket. You gave him a look, not asking for anything but hoping he got the idea. And he did, he always did. Which you were glad of, since asking to come for a smoke with him felt like you’d turned into a begging puppy. Knowing the next time you or anyone else would get their hands on some more was unknown. 

So you excused yourself, leaving for the main deck with him. Not going far, near the railing. You leaned against the gunwale, eyes fixated on the light waves hitting the hull. Izzy followed suit, leaning his elbow on the gunwale before lighting the cigarette he was holding. He took the first drag from it before offering it to you. Of course he did, he never gave you your own. That would have been a waste of the small amount you each had, but that did not stop you from complaining about it. “Leftovers?” You raised your brows a little, still taking the cigarette from him. “Better for yer health,” was what he usually went with, like this time as well. “Fuck off,” you replied with a chuckle and took a slow drag. He didn’t say anything to that, turning his eyes to the water as well. 

You didn’t dare to smoke much of what he had left, handing the cigarette back to him. The silence around the two of you wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable, but you felt the need to break it. Something of the way Jack and Edward had been conversing had sparked the interest of talking within you as well. “You ever thought of leaving? Finding another ship to board?” You asked, curious of his answer to be truthful. Because you had, multiple times in fact. You weren’t even sure of the reason for your extended stay. Was it for the trio you hung around? Or was it the threats you feared? You had not a clue, but perhaps if he had thought of the same thing you could push yourself over the edge of leaving as well. “Hornigold may be half insane, but I’ll follow Ed. Doubt we’ll die here, but he won’t stay here forever.” The man next to you replied, taking a rather long drag from the cigarette before lowering his hand and blowing the smoke into the cool sea air. You hummed, tilting your head in understanding. Though, you couldn’t pass up an opportunity to tease the man. So you turned to look at him, pouting as you raised your eyebrows. “Oh?” Was all you had to say for his expression to drop, noticing the way you’d abandoned the initial topic purely for this. “Fuck off, rapscallion. You know what I meant,” he said but you counted on his tone of voice when deciding if he was truly annoyed with you or not. Of which you chose the latter. “What? You’re even pining for him now when you’re up here.” You laughed, following as he shook his head with a disappointed look as he stumped the cigarette. “I’m not going to start this with you,” Izzy mumbled as he turned his eyes back on you. Now clearly a little more annoyed but you said nothing of it, wanting to see where this would go. 

Izzy turned to leave, retreat from the situation. But you had your hopes up, in the sense that you didn’t want for him to leave yet but also hoped that he’d tell you if there was actually something going on. For the sake of your feelings. Which you weren’t going to admit you had for anyone, unless he spoke first. So you took a light hold of the fabric of his shirt, giving him space to leave if he wanted to. But he didn’t. “Come on, ye getting lily-livered on me? Was I right?” You dared to ask, maybe pushing the situation a little far but you took the risk. Though it didn’t seem like he was going to leave, at the very least. He opened his mouth, closing it soon after. Seemingly frustrated. But you saw something else within that initial emotion, hesitation was some of it. Something that had appeared when his back was turned to you earlier. When he thought you wouldn’t notice. 

“Well?” You hummed, an amused look on your face even with the slight anxiety building up within you. His eyes darted across the empty main deck before landing back on you. A sigh left him, pursed his lips in whatever emotion he was feeling at that point. It only making you wonder if you’d gone too far this time.

With a swift motion he placed a hand on your waist, enough to make you land against the gunwale, kissing you rather roughly. A gasp escaped you, eyes widening for a short moment before responding to the action. Something in his manner changed at your response, pulling away slowly and with more calculated movements. It was only when his hand left your waist that you took a breath, blinking at him as your mind tried to come up with anything to say. He didn’t seem to have a grasp on the current situation either, though he had a response in mind for what you’d been waiting for earlier. “Ye never are,” he said before heading back down to Jack and Edward. Leaving you out on the main deck for quite a while before being able to return as well. Only to not speak of that moment openly for a long time after. 

But that was years ago. And after that night and the many more you experienced, the fun came to an end. You all went your separate way, as much as you didn’t like the idea of splitting up in such a manner. But there was no avoiding it. So you chose to stay with Jack, seeing as you had known him for the longest and got along with him the easiest. And as much as he already had seemed like the obvious choice, it also seemed that he did not mind you tagging along with him one bit. 

And there had begun you and his long lasting journey to nowhere. You were finally free of Hornigold’s threats and work, having time to do as you pleased and go where you wanted. And so Calico Jack and you sailed with ships from place to another, keeping from trouble the best you could. Well, from time to time it seemed as if you were keeping him from trouble but at the end of the day it kept the both of you on the safer road. 

But this specific night, you were in the Republic of Pirates. Spanish Jackie'z had become a place the two of you would go to any time you were staying there, and that tradition was not broken this time either. 

The lights were dim where you were seated, at the corner. Not a table Jack would have chosen, but you preferred it. You liked retreating to it if things started getting too rowdy in your opinion, knowing no one would be looking for you in the shaded corners of the tavern. And that was exactly what you were doing now. Observing the people and the conversations happening around you while Jack was causing a commotion somewhere in the crowd. 

And all of that went along how it always did, nothing out of the ordinary. Well, until pirates you didn’t recognize straight away came in. A well groomed man in a fancy clean suit caught your attention first, causing you to furrow your brows in a mix of confusion and interest. He didn’t seem to belong, catching the attention of the other regulars you’d gotten to know over time. With him was a more dark figure, black clothing which blended him in with the rest of the crowd. Or would have if he wasn’t walking so closely to the fancy fellow. The thought made you giggle. But not for long, as your mind started to race when you saw the third party with them, a shorter man. Because the sight of him jogged your memory, made you shake your head to make sure you’d seen correctly. To not get too excited if you’d just been imagining things. But you hadn’t, it was him. And if that was true, the other man must have been Edward. 

Your eyes stayed on Izzy, blinking as the noise from the crowd blended into the background. As if a static had taken over your thoughts. You thought of going over, surprising him perhaps? But you hadn't the time to act on the thought. All the noise suddenly returning as Jack made his way to Edward, almost clinging to the man’s neck. A slight smile making its way to your face, a nostalgic one. Though, you feared what the good old combination of the two would mean for the new fellow. But for now, Edward seemed to be introducing your mate to the man, so you felt at ease with leaving Jack with them. Surely he’d behave….

Your eyes returned to Izzy, finding the man staring at you just as you had done to him. An awkward smile tried to creep its way to your face, feeling the urge to go up to him and have a drink. But the man seemed as if he wanted nothing to do with the place, as that he would have already left if it hadn’t been for you. So you stare back at him, nod your head towards the door he’d just entered from. A subtle invitation for a smoke which you didn’t have, but he didn’t know that when he nodded back at you, accepting the offer. 

So you got up, made your way outside where he had escaped as soon as possible. You took a breath to prepare for a talk, but he beat you to it. “How you are still alive, I cannot say,” he hums, demeanour much calmer than before. His form leaned against a wall, a lot less tense eyes travelled to you. Giving him a chuckle you tilt your head. “Jack is who he is, but he would never-” But it took the mere look he gave you to not finish that sentence. Not what he had meant. “That man may be half insane, but I figured you’d gotten yourself killed elsewhere by now.” He explains, eyes focused on a rum bottle he was opening, figuring out he wasn’t going to get a smoke from you. “Hah! You’d have to find something deadlier than a lead marble to take me down,” you laugh as you take the bottle he was offering. “Though, I’m not sure I can keep dodging the bullet that is an unbathed Jack…” You mumble with a careful expression before taking a swig, earning a low chuckle from Izzy. The angle allowed you to see his face better, confirming that he seemed to be in a better mood. Not as grumpy looking perhaps. But you said nothing of that, letting him off the hook this once. 

The evening starts to resemble a night soon enough, making you and Izzy start to drift over to the shore. At some point, you notice Edward, Jack and the new guy follow, joining in. You wanted to stay longer, to get to know the new man better and to get to talk to Edward as well, but Izzy seemed oddly annoyed with the company getting bigger. So you share a few drinks with them, learn that the name of the man was Stede Bonnet and go your separate ways. 

Separate ways, as in you and Izzy walked over to the jolly boat and waited for the rest of the group to be done with their chatter. Though, it seemed an awful lot like that wasn’t happening any time soon. But while observing the three of them from afar, you noticed that while Stede didn’t seem to be the biggest fan of Calico Jack and the effect he was having on Edward, there was something different in his eyes when he looked at the two of you. 

The man who was now laughing with Ed might have rubbed off on you in the years you’d known him and as much as Stede disliked the persona, something in his chest warmed up when he saw Izzy follow you around. The way he didn’t disturb your rants, listened if not always so keenly and chose to hang around. Because that was something Stede hadn’t seen Izzy do willingly with anyone but Edward. And something about that made the man take peeks at the two of you sitting together, happy for Izzy in his own way. Izzy might have not liked him, but Stede never wanted to make enemies, so perhaps this was good for the self isolated man. 

But you knew nothing of those intentions. Only that his staring was putting you off, not sure what it was about. You could see there was no malice in his eyes. So you couldn’t blame him for staring, for you had been doing that exact same thing to Izzy just back at the bar. But perhaps for different reasons, to which even you hadn’t really given into. It couldn’t be, because all the years at sea should have washed away any previous feelings. There shouldn’t be anything left but an empty table to start over from. A kind of erosion caused by separation. But that thought was too deep to dig into right now. 

You couldn’t quite hear what the three further away were planning, having seated yourself in the boat. Izzy leaning against the head of the small vessel, bottle in hand. The sounds of seagulls far off in the distance, in town. They didn’t bother to come to the shore so late into the night, knowing there was still food to steal where people were buzzed and forgetful. 

“Suppose we’re tagging along.” You start off in order to break the silence which had crept over the two of you. Izzy swirled the liquid in the bottle, raising his gaze over to the sea. “Ain’t that the fucking dream,” he replied but it seemed he mostly meant your companion, not you. But that didn’t prevent you from acting offended. “Don’t pretend like you didn’t miss me at all,” you laugh, the sound of it clearing any doubts from you being tipsy. “Never said I didn’t, ye made that up.” Izzy is quick to answer, allowing himself to drink the leftovers from the bottle, seeing as you’d already had your share and above. You pout at the sight, drawing in a breath. “Hm, maybe I should have been an author after all in that case.” You raised your brows, amused. “Can ye even read?” He asks, eyes back on you. The question receives a chuckle from you before you shake your head. Your drunken mind wanted to say, ‘no, but I can read the tension between us’, but something in you decided against it. Perhaps another time. 

Another moment of silence surrounds the two of you, and for a moment you think you were able to hear the conversation of the three men further up the shore. In reality you should have been a psychic of sorts to have been able to hear them through the sounds of the light waves hitting the stern of the boat.

You smile to yourself, thinking of something to say. “I see yer boyfriend got taken in the end?” You hum, mostly amused but in truth you did want to know if that was what had happened. The question gets Izzy to turn to you swiftly, but the tone of his reply is not affected by it. “He’s still rubbing off on ye. Suppose it’s better you’re tagging along, we’ll get you back on fuckin’ track.” He shakes his head in a disapproving manner, but you see the hint of amusement after his own reply. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you insist. Perhaps he was right, but what else could you have done? You’d been with that menace of a man for years, it was only a matter of time until you would have become a copy of him. Well so you had feared. “Was welcomin’ ye back,” Izzy explains himself. But you had already caught on, just felt the need to be difficult. “So you did miss me, hah!” You chuckle, a little louder than you intended. Perhaps wanting the confirmation more for yourself than anything. In hopes that the earlier thought of erosion had just been a figment of imagination. But the comment only gains a look from Izzy, getting you to lower your voice. 

You drag yourself to a better sitting position, leaning towards the man a little. The bottle in his hand was clearly already empty, yet he attempted to take a swig from it. Perhaps to put out something within him, maybe to get out of the awkward environment you insisted on creating to amuse yourself. But in that moment you let any logical thought go. Taking a gentle hold of his wrist, enough to let him pull away is he so pleased. Yet tight enough to pull him towards you. A test of sorts, to see if he was up for it. To try and light a spark once more, see if it would catch fire this time around. And it takes him quite a while to decide, reluctant. Yet, with a swift motion he kisses you. Giving in to your almost childish suggestion. But that was what lit the spark once more, the same feeling from the past returning. As quick as he had been to pull away, you could have sworn the nostalgic feeling of it all lingered in the air. 

His eyes were focused on you, a hint of fear in them. You couldn’t understand why, almost coming up with a conclusion as to what you had done wrong. Had you taken too tight of a hold of him? Did he regret what he’d done? Wish to take the action back? It scared you. But you weren’t going to let him see that, instead offering the frightened man a smile. Maybe it eased his mind on the matter, leaving more of a conflicted look on his face. 

You let your mind at ease with the thought of all the years that had passed. What did you know of where he’d been and what trouble had he faced? Perhaps he would tell you one day if you stayed a while longer. But right now, it seemed as if he’d been craving for such attention from someone, yet never received it. And if that was the case, you wanted to be a source of that for him. 

But that train of thought was interrupted early on by a gasp. Not the kind you’d hear when someone was frightened or surprised, but the sweet kind. The kind you hear when someone gets something they didn’t expect. The sound was soon covered up, but you had already spotted the source of it. Stede. You’d seen his eyes leave the two of you, furrowing your brows in a mix of confusion and interest. The man seemed oddly invested in the two of you, but for some reason tried to hide it. You weren’t sure if it was for his or Izzy’s sake, but you were sure Izzy had heard it as well. 

As you keep watching, the others swiftly turn to Stede. Not worried, but alerted by the gasp. “Perhaps we should head back. I had something left to do,” the man speaks and this time loud enough that even you can hear it. You can almost also hear the awkwardness in his tone, hoping neither of the men had noticed him staring. Earned a chuckle from you. You watch as Stede gathers himself from the sand, the others getting up as well with questioning looks. You turn back to Izzy. He had definitely heard the gasp as well, but the annoyance from it hadn’t affected him nearly as much as the kiss. Which you found endearing, glad that it hadn’t ruined it for him even if he seemed to have some kind of silent banter with Stede. 

The three men walk up to the jolly boat. You smirk, seeing Jack wobble a little on his feet as they get to the waterline. You got up to meet him, not aware of your own tipsy state and managed to tumble forward a little. So much for the sea legs as you feel Izzy grab the back of your shirt to steady you again. Though he doesn’t hold on for long as he catches up on your intent, allowing you to wobble against Jack, pushing him just enough that he lands into the water. Only, if it hadn’t been for Izzy you would have gone down with him. 

But with his help you had succeeded, laughing as the man groaned in the shallow water, throwing playful curses at you. “Not before you bathe. You reek.” You say, as if you’d grown some standards after hearing Izzy complain of your companion’s personality sticking to you. You hadn’t but perhaps you wanted to pretend you had, for Izzy. 

You give Stede a slight giggle, watching the man step away from the splashed water. Only then noticing how the splash had wet your clothes as well, giving a grumble about it. Though it was all in good fun. “After he’s clean, we’ll set sail,” you give them a firm nod. 

You watch as Jack collects himself from the water, seemingly trying to pull Edward in as well. You smile at them in amusement, the nostalgic feeling creeping back up. Even with the fancier fellow tagging along, it felt like a puzzle being put back together. And you hoped that it would last a little longer this time, not having to go your separate ways again. Because even one night was able to prove to you that you had missed them. Missed the banter, seeing Calico Jack and Edward together and mostly Izzy. And the spark that had lit up once more hoped that Izzy felt the same way. At least about you. 

[tf2heritageposts]

Hi! I have something to share that you might enjoy! (Staying anonymous because I really only lurk on tumblr these days but if there's demand I'll make a sideblog for any discussion. Bear with me here...) Your posts and discussion on Freak Fortress inspired me to dust off an old design document I wrote over the course of months back in 2020, imagining MUCH OF the Freak Fortress roster as MOBA heroes (so games like DOTA 2 or League). I gave it a pass to fix some years old typos and clean up the formatting. It uses pageless view on google docs and a lot of tables so I recommend viewing it on a pc/laptop/anything bigger than a phone. It includes 54 fully designed "heroes", 61 items, and 19 special creeps which can be captured and will fight alongside your team (like 'Heroes of the Storm' for anyone who knows that game). It's not enough to make a full game off of, as there's no levelling system, nor map design, or anything for an economy, and some of them are probably overtuned, but if you like Freak Fortress and have a passing concept of how a MOBA plays, I think you'll enjoy it. I've never shared it with anyone before because TF2 Freaks as a thing to enjoy are pretty niche, but I like to think someone following this blog will enjoy it.

(The link just goes to a google doc, and I moved it to a dummy drive account to preserve my own anonymity/not dox myself) They're all very top-down design wise, trying to keep the flavor of the freak while making them work for a lanecrawler, and I pulled much of my information on them from the TF2 Freakshow wiki.

Some freaks I'm really proud of design wise include Cave Heavy, Dream Demoman, and Commander Private. Please enjoy and lemme know what you think! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1p1CIQbSDowTr24YEUcsgVN8UEoAWqB_Nj3Nov2ESSKQ/edit?usp=sharing

i'm only four pages in, but this is utter fucking genius. i would genuinally pay to see this made into a real thing, even if it probably wouldn't(i am NOT gonna be the cause of the next tumblr kickstarter scam), but still! i'll read the rest later, but i highly encourage anyone who is a freak fortress fan or has any passing knowledge of it to check this shit out! the good shit!

[physalian]

Writing with Executive Dysfunction (or how to lower the barrier of entry)

So you want to write a book, but all you have is a cool one-liner, a niche super power you want to explore, and the blurry image of a love interest with a two-syllable kind of name. You don’t know where to start, what to tackle first, how to jump in the deep end.

Can you write the ending first? What if you want this really cool gimmick in a fight scene but can’t write action to save your life? Do you start in media res or with a prologue, or with the character starting their daily routine? Do you write the villain’s POV first?

Or do you start with an outline, character sheets, a title, summary, your themes and motifs? How many pages and pages of worldbuilding notes should you have built up before you’re good to tackle the first page? You’ve heard time and again the critical importance of the first three sentences. The first chapter if your audience is generous.

The pressure mounts to be unique, but not try-hard, descriptive but not flowery, intriguing, but not confusing, all in the first hundred or so words. You sit there staring at the little blinking black line on your blank page… and the idea gets shelved for another day. It collects virtual dust in the backlogs of your computer, forgotten until you have to clear out space on your hard drive and stumble across unspent potential.

Everyone and their dog has their own bits of writing advice and I’m sure I’m about to echo tips that have been around the block once or twice, but there are a few I don’t see talked about enough.

Whether you suffer from severe procrastination, fear of failure before you even begin, the overwhelming limitlessness of choice, or just can’t sit down and dedicate any time to see what happens, this list might be for you.

1. Write Every Day

This is nothing new, but I’m going to tackle the implementation of such a habit over why it’s important. You already know why it’s important. Writing every day doesn’t demand a full page of a Word doc, or 200 words before you can get up and do something else. Sometime a witty dialogue exchange comes to mind while you’re doing dishes – write that down.

Or you saw a cool name for a character in a commercial – write that down.

Or you had a dream about your characters in a high-octane street chase – write down the synopsis.

Personally, I use Apple Notes. It’s free, I can log-in to iCloud through a browser and keep writing, and my phone is always with me. I have dedicated folders to sort which notes belong to which concepts.

Disclaimer: Apple Notes is meant for exactly that: Note taking. I take it to the extremes, but it’s not a word processer. It’s not meant for anything more strenuous than putting virtual pen to virtual paper.

I build up so many variations of scene ideas and concepts for character arcs that my ‘notes’ for any given book can be as long as a full-length novel. Most of the time, admittedly, those ideas get outdated fast as I move on to bigger and better things, but the point is this: I never would move on to better things if I didn’t have somewhere to start.

I have a personal grudge against OneDrive for a sync failure losing 20k words of a WIP, so most of my writing is done through Google Docs and saved to Google Drive. It’s not the most powerful word processor, but you don’t have to worry about formatting until the very end and can export later. It’s free, like Apple Notes (assuming you have an iPhone), and the smart phone app for Google programs works phenomenally better than the MS Word app – so once again, the barrier for being within reach of places to jot down ideas is lowered. My phone is always with me.

It doesn’t have to be digital – carry around a journal or a notebook or a legal pad if you want. Whatever gets your creative juices flowing. The point is to have somewhere to take all the ideas you have in your head and get them onto paper the moment inspiration strikes.

2. Writing is Supposed to be Fun

The dreaded writer’s block, scourge of authors everywhere. You’ve reached the point in your manuscript where you’ve caught up to the epic adventure you’ve written in your head. The little writer in your brain has gone on strike and you’re left in the doldrums of how to transition from one chapter to the next. One idea to the next. One scene, one line of dialogue.

Answer: Skip it.

Unless you have a hard deadline to make, writing is supposed to be fun. Your best work comes when you’re passionate about doing it, not when you’re holding your fingers hostage to put something on the page or else.

When you start getting frustrated, walk away. When you get stressed, walk away. The manuscript will still be there once you’ve slept on it for a day or two and you’ll be glad for it. Or, write a different scene. Write a hypothetical scene (more on this point later). Write anything you want and come back to the hard parts later. The gaps will fill eventually, and if they don’t—consider what about that transition or scene is so hard and consider axing it entirely. If it’s frustrating for you, it’s probably boring or unimportant to the reader.

3. Script it

My favorite writer’s crutch is to make a skeleton of the scene I want to have, fill it with dialogue, and move on. The pretty thematic narrative can come later. It’s halfway between an outline and a first draft and, for me, someone to whom dialogue comes easier than narrative, this is another barrier removed to letting creativity flow.

I don’t have to think about dialogue tags or movement of a scene or how exactly I want to structure a sentence or describe the setting. Scripting lets me sus out the pacing of a given scene, test run a conversation I have in my head to see if it might really work before investing all the time and effort of a fully fleshed out first draft, only to erase it all later.

You can do this mid-narrative, too. If you just want to skip over a couple lines that aren’t coming naturally to you, script a vague sense of stage directions until you get to easier narrative and come back later.

When I say scripting, mine look something like this:

Character A (ChA): [position within the setting, tone of voice, any notable gesture or action that enhances the dialogue] “Dialogue.” [specific dialogue tag, if necessary] … (often a paragraph break) … “Dialogue.” Character B (ChB): “Dialogue.” [emotion, reaction, details about the setting that are now important, new revelations by the narrating POV] … “Dialogue,” [action. Tonal shift. Movement] ChA: “Dialogue.” [action] … (scene continues)

In practice:

… ChA: [kicks back against the wall of the room, arms crossed. Annoyed, waiting for ChB to speak first, but they don’t] “Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to leave?” [head tilts, still waiting on an answer ChB isn’t giving] “All you had to do was ask.” ChB: “You were having fun,” [quiet, wringing their hands in their lap on the edge of the bed] “You wanted me there. So I was there.” [huffs, flips their hair back. Not sure how many times they’ve had this conversation. Will always hate parties, not going to suddenly like them just because ChA is there] “You can either have me there, or make sure I’m comfortable. You can’t have both.” ChA: “So now I’m the bad guy.” [foot thumps on the floor like a judge’s gavel] …

Scripting also lets you fill a scene with multiple new characters before you figure out their names or descriptions, tagging their lines with the bare minimum. I often test out entire action scenes (which I loathe writing) in script form, so I know I’m satisfied with the pacing, blocking, and amount of movement before I lock it in and write the first draft of actual narrative. It also forces you to make sure your characters are taking actions and not just sitting at a table like talking mannequins.

Transitioning from script to narrative can be mighty tedious sometimes if you try to fit in chunks of narrative in the exact places you left on your initial pass. Fictional prose is organic, so let it breathe.

Maybe you let a character monologue for too long, or they have too much movement in a scene that becomes unnatural and clunky. Or the entire scene ran away from you because the conversation was just that good. Whatever the case, a script, bare minimum, gets your foot in the door.

4. Write Fanfic

I like sci-fi and fantasy. I also like taking my sci-fi and fantasy characters and throwing them into ‘fanfics’ to test out relationships and start to get a feel for what makes them unique from the rest of the cast.

Sometimes the setting changes to something mundane, sometimes it’s a hypothetical scene that the current pacing of the narrative just doesn’t have room for, or it’s a flashback you’ll never include but want to have written so it’s concrete when you reference it in the present.

It also helps you fall in love with your characters when you can write them without consequence, doing whatever, doing whoever, saying whatever, going wherever. In fanfic, their personalities can start to write themselves and you discover them as you write them. And, hey, sometimes you come up with a concept so good, you change the entire real narrative around to fit it.

All your attention doesn’t have to be on the story you’re actually writing.

5. Keep All of Your Deleted Scenes

I keep so many of mine, the ‘deleted scenes’ doc of one book is 40k words longer than the actual manuscript, filled with numerous variations of the same scene written over and over again in vain trying to keep something that no longer works.

Keep them for several reasons:

It reminds you of how far you’ve come.

You can pick through the bones for bits of dialogue and setting descriptors even if the majority is trashed.

You remind yourself of what didn’t work before, so you don’t fall in that same trap again.

If you change your mind, all you have to do is copy-paste it back in.

6. Remember First Drafts are First Drafts

Let the word spew flow forth from your fingers and don’t look back and start questioning every decision and all its flaws until your creativity tank starts sputtering on empty. It’s supposed to be messy, it’s supposed to have plot holes and typos and inconsistencies and things to fact-check. If you start hyper-fixating on making sure your manuscript has absolutely no errors before moving on to the next chapter, it will never get written, and you’ll convince yourself you’re a terrible writer.

Writing is easy. Revisions are hard. Just as storytelling doesn’t have to be linear, neither does the writing process. If that critical first line just won’t come to you, stuff a mediocre one in its place and move on. Write the ending first. Write all the romantic entanglements first. Write the big climactic argument first and figure out how the rest falls into place around your beautiful centerpiece.

But remember: You do, at some point, have to write the hard stuff. Hopefully, when the time comes, you look at all the rest you’ve written and are proud enough of your progress that those daunting scenes that looked impossible before become much more approachable now. Do it for your future readers who want to know how it ends. Do it for your characters. Do it for you.