#might have to withdraw or change it if I screwed up the numbers though

[comparativelysuperlative]

Saw some of the Interminable Leather Discourse on my dash. Has anyone ever done an authoritative estimate of how bad it is or isn't?

They don't raise and kill animals specifically for leather. The hide is 4-10% of the monetary value of animals raised and killed for meat.

(10% according a rando on the leatherworking Reddit; 4% according to The Leather Lobby Incorporated's page on We Swear We're Not Evil, You Guys, citing a source that does not seem to say that. I'm just going to call it 5% for the round number.)

Approximately 55 square feet of leather per cow.

The lobbyists up there said it was 69% cows; the rest is sheep+goats+pigs, with pigs being the next biggest. Make it ~42.6 square feet per dead animal; the true number will be a bit smaller because they're not all pigs.

(Apparently if you buy Chinese leather and aren't careful about your sources they sometimes sell leather made from cat or dog skin and lie about it. I assume leather-wearers are not okay with this, but would be interested to find out why. Like, I know my reason, but it's probably not the same one.)

40 square feet for a small men's jacket. More for large, less for women.

A typical leather jacket kills about 1/20th of an animal, in the same ballpark as eating 100 (beef) burgers, or about half of a (chicken) burger.

Animals killed by faux leather:

Literally none?

If every plastic jacket you ever buy ends up in a landfill, that's like...one really big trash bag? A few square feet of area that didn't have much of anything living on it anyway?

Not trying to be sarcastic here; I just genuinely don't see how this hurts or kills much of anything.

Making plastic can't possibly be good for the environment, but it's definitely less bad than growing a one-twentieth-ass cow.

Final opinion on the Discourse:

Depending on how much meat you eat and how long you wear your clothes for, wearing leather is probably less bad than eating beef but around that ballpark.

It is way less bad than eating chicken.

As always, someone who eats as many cows as they want and no other animals has accomplished most of the good things about being vegan with barely any effort. This stays true if they also wear leather.

Arguing about leather is like arguing about the difference between mostly-vegetarian and actually-vegetarian.

I was hoping it'd be a small enough difference that I could say whatever, it's a rounding error, I'm gonna go buy leather now. It wasn't; this is a real difference.

But it is small enough that if you want to wear a leather without people yelling at you, you can skip buying chicken for three weeks and link the activists here so they get mad at me instead of you.

You know, if Internet arguments sound like a fun use of your time.

[keywestlou]

KEYS CITIZEN CONTINUES TO INSULT ITS READERS

KEYS CITIZEN CONTINUES TO INSULT ITS READERS - https://keywestlou.com/keys-citizen-continues-to-insult-its-readers/Today is January 6. Two years ago today, the attack on the Capitol occurred. A day of consequence in American history. To be remembered and recalled at the least every January 6. As should December 7. Nothing less than front page news. Unfortunately, out local newspaper the Keys Citizen does not appear to agree. This past December 7, no front page article re Pearl Harbor. Two or four lines in The History section on page 2. A lengthy article buried deep in the paper. Something like page 8, though I cannot recall accurately the page number. On this January 6, the insurrectionist attack on the Capitol has been similarly ignored on the Citizen's front page. The Today in History portion on page 2 devoted several lines to the event. I could not find anything else, though an article might have been found deeper in its 20 odd pages. The Citizen is confusing once one gets through its first 3-4 pages. Why does the Citizen ignore the presentation of major American events? I do not believe it is because the powers to be do not care. Rather I suspect it is money. Key West has roughly 4 employees stationed here. The rest of the Citizen is put together up north somewhere. Money should not be an excuse. How hard is it to write an historical piece. The facts are the same. Rarely change, unless there is a new development. Today's Citizen had 4 articles front page. Means they were considered the most important. They were that 427 Cuban migrants had completed processing at Fort Jefferson in the Dry Tortugas, the photos and biographies of 2 of the several City Manager candidates, and the Mayor's State of the City Address. With the exception of the Mayor's State of the City, the others could have been printed anywhere else. None of the 3 necessarily front page news. Room was available if those in control wanted to prepare and publish a piece involving January 6. Keys Citizen: Time to get your act together! Do your job correctly! Stop cheating your customers! Kevin McCarthy is doing well. He has gotten his ass beat 3 days in a row, Eleven votes and he lost all 11. How many more votes till he sees the handwriting on the wall. He does not have nor ever will have sufficient votes to win. He should withdraw and let the business of the people move on. Embarrassed he will be. No question. However, he brought the pain upon himself. Damar Hamlin is America's newest hero. God bless him! The Lord must be watching over him. He has begun a slow recovery. A class act. His first question when he came to: Did we win? His football playing days are over. Should be. If he continues, he's crazy. He can still enjoy his chosen profession as a coach. He will rise through the ranks rapidly. I screwed up the Steve Thompson story about the Boat Bar yesterday. Sorry Steve, sorry one and all. In defense, Steve's early years in Key West were exciting and successful. I got his successes muddled. In the 1970's, Steve had 3 taco stands in Key West. All successful. He was making money. The Boat Bar was not next to the taco stand he owned across the street from Sloppy Joe's. My mistake. It was located at 503 Duval. Across the street from the Kress building which became the home for years of Fast Buck Freddie's. Next door at 501 Duval was the location of Steve's taco stand I wrote about yesterday. It sat on the corner of Duval and Fleming. Today the home of Banana Republic. Around the corner on Fleming was the West Key Bar. Yes, the West Key Bar. Not the Key West Bar. I think I have it correct finally. Hopefully. It's not always easy folks! There is a great white shark swimming around the Seven Mile Bridge. A lot known about the great white. Her name Sable. She was tagged last year by Ocreach. Ergo, she "pings." The last time Sable's presence was noted was November. She was swimming off Cape Cod. She is now in the Keys having traveled down seeking warm waters. Sable is 10 1/2 feet and weighs 800 pounds. Syracuse/Virginia basketball tomorrow night at 5 pm. Virginia ranked #11, Syracuse unranked. Syracuse however has won 7 of its last 8 games. A Syracuse victory would place them in the top 25. Too bad Dr. McIvor passed on. He was a Virginia grad. We would have been talking about the game this week. Blood tests at the hospital yesterday afternoon. The Tampa doctor who performed the parathyroid surgery on me in July is doing some follow up work. Two calcium blood tests. Enjoy your day!

[katsukikitten]

In which you find yourself fake dating Bakugou to appease his mother. Thank @bakugotrashpanda​ that I even write. Comment your thoughts below or if you’re shy leave me an ask! AGED UP/PRO HERO AU, and dolls there are currently no warnings.   Part on is HERE

Anger fuels your actions as you withdraw a knife, face twisted into a feral snarl as you close the distance between you and your not so lucky boss. He matches your disgusted features, closing faster than you can to keep your knife from finding purchase between his third and fourth ribs. He corners you out of sight, the woman who was attending to you turns away with a blush. Truly thinking the two of you were having an intimate moment when it was anything but.

"This joke isn't fucking funny." You growl struggling to keep your voice low as his vice grip on your biceps becomes harsher. 

"It's not a fucking joke." He hisses, before one of his hands runs through his hair. A sign of stress you noticed for the ash blonde, while the other hand sets blunt nails into your skin. You blow air through your nose as if you were a steaming dragon waiting for him to explain. 

"My mom won't leave me the hell alone about a girlfriend. Like I fucking have time for one." He starts and you break away from his grip.  

"Then we just pretend." A huff while he shakes his head. 

"But we have to make it look good. She will expect PDA, and a lot of it." You laugh at his statement while he looks away. 

"Please as if Dynamight is touchy feely." You tease making hand motions as you let your fingers play against his clothed muscles. He gives you a pointed look, something odd shines deeply in those dark eyes. Something like hurt, your smile falters for a moment as you watch him peek over a guarded wall. 

"Growing up I was. And still am with people I...know well. Plus she's already seen me in a serious relationship." 

"Then why aren't you bringing her?" The venom escapes you faster than you can stop it. Regret blooms in your stomach as you watch his guard blow sky high, burning sugar fills the air. His glare pure anger as he bites out 

"She only loved me for my Pro-hero money." 

He turns away from you to collect himself, angry that he's still angry over a bitch that should be long forgotten. Still your tongue was sharper than any knife on your thick yet fit body. He sighs, trying to let the tension free from his shoulders before he reluctantly offers you his large, ungloved hand. 

The thought of your bare palm touching his sends your stomach into a summersault before he grabs onto your hand himself, even interlacing your fingers. 

It had been years since you held someone's hand, let alone been close enough to smell them. A cold sweat prickles over your skin before he speaks. 

"Let's make this shit look good." 

With that he pulls you out of the store, setting off rhythmic short blasts so nothing but blinding light can be caught on film. Some camera's lose their lenses thanks to your sly hands as you shove them deep in Bakugou's jacket that he insisted you'd wear over your cute outfit. That his mom would take it more seriously that you wore his clothes that he might have offered to you. 

Your hand feels warm in Bakugou's as he guides the two of you down the street, eyeing jewelry through glass windows here and there. He tries to keep his focus on the way to the bakery instead of how small your hand is in his.

"So is there something special about tonight's dinner? Any sort of occasion?" You prompt, anything to avoid the squeezing in your heart. 

"It's her birthday today." He says nonchalantly as your anxiety skyrockets. 

"Birthday?! Baku-" 

"Katsuki." He cuts you off, sending you a glare, "It has to be Katsuki or some dumb pet name from now on, Princess."

You point daggers as you glare up at him, his slightly messy hair dances in the wind as his faded sides do anything to protect him from the biting cold. You think to offer him his jacket back, it felt three sizes too big. 

"Look, Katsuki a birthday dinner is a big fucking deal. She'll think we are serious." The two of you stop just before the bakery, he let's go of your hand to open the door for you, a habit he's picked up from Kirishima. You step inside the warmth and let the smell of mouth watering sweets over take your senses. The smell fights with the smokey sweet scent that rolls off of Bakugou as he crowds closer to you due to the busy cafe.

"Good. She needs to think we are. Before you say anything else it's one dinner. She won't remember by Christmas." He snarls, pressing his hand into your lower back to gently push you forward in line. Suddenly someone behind the counter waves to catch your attention. 

"Ah Dyna-" The clerk clears his throat before he causes a frenzy, most people already too timid of Bakugou to approach him, having you the tough as nails hero by his side makes him seem even deadlier. 

"Bakugou-sama. I just finished the decorations for the order. Would you like to approve it?" 

"Yea yea." He says cooly, eyes glancing over his usual cup of an iced americano, he taps the lid and the Barista gives him her full attention. Lashes batting as she practically squirms with pleasure beneath his weighted gaze, you fight to keep the disgust off your face. How could anyone fawn over this wet blanket?

"I need a toasted white mocha iced coffee with sweet cream." His voice is smooth and she begins to get to work even without his please but you're caught too off guard to scold him.  How did he know your coffee order? 

You always went to get the coffee with Kirishima and only then for an excuse to get out of the office and away from a pig headed blonde. 

"Trying something new?" She asks as she sets it down, her number clearly written on this cup as well. You keep your face blank as she ignores you. 

"Maybe." He says giving her little eye contact as the owner pushes her away to show off the cake.  He removes the lid of the box and before it is all the way off a genuine, although small, smile forms on his face as he stares at the beautiful array of flowers in icing. Another surprise that his face can go so soft before it changes in an instant. His normal cocky smile returning as he removes his wallet and over pays for it all. 

"This is too…" But the owner is cut off by a nasty vermillion glare before he passes you your coffee grabbing for his own and the bag. 

"See ya round." Is all he offers before slipping out of the ringing door. Stunned into silence you drink your delicious drink as you two make your way back to his car. 

"It's cold enough that the icing won't get fucked up. Are you cold? I want to get that hag one more thing. Not sure what though." He says gently placing the cake into the floorboard of the back seat. 

"Well for starters I'm sure she'd love it if you stopped calling her a hag. That's rude, dickface." You say finishing your coffee, body singing from the much needed energy. He rolls his eyes at your comment, grabbing for your trash as he tosses his empty cup as well. 

"Yea well, she pisses me off." He grunts, eyes shifting for cameras before letting his hand slide down your forearm to your hand. You jolt from the touch but absentmindedly lean into his warmth. 

"Mmhmm." You affirm with a bit of an attitude. He sneers down at you as the two of you actively look for anything that screams Bakugou Mitsuki. 

Although you aren't so sure you know what that would be. Your mind wanders to what his family is like as his molten eyes rove over window shops and glare at passer byers. Anyone with their phone out and aimed at him gets an especially intimidating look. 

"Do we have a background to our fake relationship?" You ask, curiosity bubbling through your bloodstream carried by caffeine. 

"Kinda explains itself doesn't it?" He prompts, "We work together a lot. She's heard your name before." 

"Oh." Is all you can say, would his mom ask for details? Well it wouldn't be too hard to believe that she would want the story most likely from you, hoping you'll gush over the details any other man would skimp. A sigh leaves your lips before your eyes catch an odd glint in the light, ahead of you two is a small woman beneath a parasol as if the lazy winter sun threatened the day. Your eyes blow wide as she turns, heart racing in your chest as you see the black kimono and fox mask slightly askew. 

Quickly you grab onto Bakugou's black dress shirt, backing yourself up against a brick wall, guiding him with you. 

"What are you doing?" He hisses as your brain panics, he sees a rare twinge of fear in your eyes. Setting him in high alert, his skin crackles as he tries to summon his quirk. 

"It's just...I think I saw my ex and I'm not ready to see him yet." A lie, a bold face lie as you fight the screaming need in your blood. To withdraw a knife, to send it through that bitch's third eye chakra. 

But if you did, then everyone would know. 

Bakugou would know. 

You gulp down the instinct. 

"Where?" He growls leaning closer to you to block your face. The busy crowd overlaps the petite woman in black before it parts again leaving you with an uneasy pit in your stomach. 

"I-" You catch your breath, smoothing his dress shirt as your eyes are fixated to the spot, "I guess I only thought I saw him." 

Your voice threatens to crack and in the three years the two of you have worked closely together, he has never seen you like this. Worried, disheveled almost. He leans in close, leveling himself to you as he stares into your eyes. 

"Did he…?" His eyes linger over your scars for a second, unknowingly and for the first time, Bakugou makes you feel weak. Your eyes screw into a nasty sneer before you give him a light shove. 

"No." You hiss, wanting to cross your arms but after what looked like a kiss, you gently relax your face, grabbing for his hand as you pull him along.  Suddenly tired of the easy stroll and knowing exactly what to get his mother.  

"A watch? Not a bad idea." He says as the two of you look over the case. 

"No, too old fashioned. Your mom would like this." A smile forms on your lips as your finger taps the glass case over a silver bracelet. In your head you've seen four different ways to take the bracelet without alarm or notice until it was much too late. Instead you flag someone down. 

"Do you all still inscribe in house?" You ask, earning a nod from the attendant, "Perfect. Now Ba- Katsuki you just have to think of something nice to say." 

He glares down at the bracelet for a long time before he writes something down on the form. After an hour the man returns asking Bakugou to confirm the writing after a nod and a few minutes the hot head is passed a delicate white bag. 

Time blurs together as your eyes search the crowd for a haunting fox mask while Bakugou guides the two of you to the car. Shutting the passenger door behind you and only then do you let out a heavy sigh of relief. 

The drive isn't long before Bakugou pulls up in front of a nice two story townhome, parking his black sports car.

"Get out." He states, slipping out of the car himself only to wait impatiently by your door. 

"This is turning into a lot more than half a day." 

"Make it through this dinner and I'll make it worth your while." He snarls, picking up the gift and cake before heading to the front door. He slides in his old key and opens the door to his childhood home expecting you to follow him in. Tentatively you do, slipping off your shoes much slower than him as he rushes to the kitchen. Your heart rushes in your ears banging against your ribcage as your mind races. You had never been in a home so nice before, well not invited anyway. You always had to resort to climbing through windows or picking the lock to reveal the shiny contents of inside. 

Was this what it was like to grow up in a home?

Your third thought only after mentally logging the windows and doors, listing the valuables in descending order. Your eyes wander over the pictures on the foyer table, you smirk to yourself as you see a tiny Bakugou with what must be his mother and Father. They are all laughing and for a moment your heart hurts as you think of your sister shivering under a piss covered blanket.

"Oi! Come here." Bakugou calls from somewhere within the house, you pass the stairs and small hall into the dining room with tatami doors that open into the kitchen. 

"Sit." He orders, pointing to the low dining room table. 

"I'm not a dog, I'm your 'date' Asshole." You snarl, "What are you doing anyway?" 

"What's it fucking look like? I'm cooking! Ma will be home by the time I'm done. Get comfortable, bitch face." 

"Wow what a great pet name." You hiss, collapsing into the pillows with a sigh, part of you wished this was a kotatsu so you could take a nap. Instead you stare at the ceiling mind wandering as the smell of something good floats through the house. You think of how warm the home feels compared to the blistering wind that whips outside, reminding you that maybe you should fix your hair before meeting his parents. 

"Bathroom?" You whine, still unmoving on the floor. The hot head sticks half his body over the threshold to stare down at you. His glare speaks a thousand words. 

"Yea yea hands to myself I got it." 

"Upstairs, to the right."

"Got it boss!" You fake salute from the floor before rising. Taking the stairs quickly, fully intending to take a right but the door at the top of the stairs is slightly open. A faint smell of caramel tickles your nose as you near closer. Peering inside you see what had to be Bakugou's childhood bedroom, seemingly untouched. Bed made, All might and singed villains hang from the walls, some long forgotten laundry in a basket and a bookshelf filled with a variety books. 

His room was bigger than your current studio apartment and all you can do is sigh. And wonder. Trying not to feel jealous over the nice life he clearly had growing up while you were kept in a dark room to "strengthen your mind" for days at a time. Still it's not as if it were Bakugou's fault, he was just lucky. And you wouldn't wish your childhood on anyone. 

Not even Bakugou. 

Your record mentioned your thefts but never your much darker past. And how could they? It had been drilled into you how to clean up after yourself.

Habit forces your hand for something, anything as you snatch a small keychain of Allmight and shove it into your jeans pocket. 

"You lost?" Bakugou yells through the quiet home. 

"No, a woman takes her time!" You shout back slamming the door. Staring into your reflection as you wish for the night to end. 

It doesn't end as quickly as you'd like but it goes by at a decent pace. Introductions come easy and Mitsuki smiles brightly at you which feels like a good sign. Dinner goes by smoothly, the food delicious as you even help yourself to seconds. 

Surprisingly the Bakugous are easy to talk to, it felt as if you'd always know his parents. Laughing over shared stories and even listening intently to their work and fashion. 

"So what did you think?" Mitsuki asks as Katsuki goes to clear the table. You try to stand to help only for his broad hand to land on your shoulder, forcing you back into a seated position. You straighten your back. 

"Ah dinner was delicious. I didn't know Katsuki-kun could cook so well." You smile as her face begins to sour. Uh oh.  

"KATSUKI ARE YOU NOT FEEDING HER? HOW HAS SHE NOT HAD YOUR FOOD NOT ONCE? YOU JERK YOU BETTER NOT BE SOME ASSHOLE THAT MAKES THE WOMAN COOK!" 

"LISTEN YOU HA-!" He stops himself and glances at you causing you to quickly intervene. 

"Oh Bakugou-san…" 

"Mitsuki-san." She inturrpts, suddenly level headed as she looks to you. 

"Mitsuki-san, Katsuki and I have only been dating officially for a month. We haven't had the chance for a home cooked meal yet." You lie with a sweet worried smile that Mitsuki buys. 

"I see, so what is it that you like about my bullish son?"  

Nothing, is what you want to say, looking at him to buy you time as you think. Slowly the words come to you. You think of how he knew your coffee order, how angry he looked on your behalf when he thought the person who carved you up was someone you once loved. 

"Underneath all that brutish attitude is a really nice guy. He can be kind and caring. He is heroic despite his mouth." He looks as surprised as his mother when you speak before she smiles. Bakugou keeps his eyes trained on you as he returns from the kitchen with the cake and gift. 

"Here." Bakugou sets the small gift box in front of his mom, who tears into it immediately. She smiles looking down at the bracelet as she turns it to see the inscription inside. Her eyes water as Masaru smiles reading the words aloud. 

"Family first." He rubs Mitsuki's back as she quickly wipes away a stray tear. 

"I think it's time for the photo album." 

"NO!" 

"YES!" She slams the old book down, flanking your other side to look over the pages with you.  Awkwardly you offer a smile as Katsuki groans beside you. 

"Mooooom!"

"Hush ungrateful brat! It's my birthday!" Mitsuki says as if it's final, Katsuki grumbles in defeat. 

She pours over the pictures, pointing out things here and there, after a while you begin to smile. Relishing over the fact you're probably the only person who's seen their boss' embarrassing baby pictures. 

"I should blow these the fuck up!" Bakugou growls, reaching for the album. You grab onto his poppin hand to stop him. 

"No, you're so lucky you have these…" Fuck, you're about to make things super awkward, there will be a dreaded question and no matter how many times you answer it, even if it is a lie, it hurts. Feeling as though an icy hand cradles your heart as it beats, fingers becoming an uncomfortable vice. 

"Why? Did something happen to your photos?" The pity in Mitsuki's voice digs beneath your skin, you sigh. 

"They were lost to a fire." An easier lie to the actual truth. Honestly you weren't even sure if you had ever been photographed before. 

Maybe just your mug shots. 

Still you couldn't stomach the thought of telling Mitsuki that you didn't know whether your parents died tragically or if they left you and your sister to die in the streets. 

After a moment Mitsuki presses her hand to your back, a brief rub before she presses into your shoulder blade, as if you remind you she was there. 

"Well, you always have family here dear." She smiles softly, your heart flutters. The Bakugous, even if it was supposed to be pretend, felt like family to you.

"Thank you." You smile back as Mitsuki allows you to flip the page. Your smile forms into a smirk as you see a smaller version of your hot headed boss standing next to a boy with curly emerald hair. 

"You and Izuku used to be good friends huh?" You tease, "What happened?" 

Bakugou doesn't react as you expect him too, he is not raging and cursing instead his face is calm, open. 

"Pride got in the way." His words somber, "But Deku's over it." 

A small silence falls over the room from Katsuki's honesty, Mitsuki glances at her husband who gives a small nod. Still you stare at the ash blonde who starts to crowd you, something odd sitting on his face. 

"Are you?" The question falls from your plush lips. Bakugou grits his teeth

"Turn the fucking page." And you do, the next picture his graduating glass and you are elated, excited to see your newfound friends in their youth. 

"Eijoru-kun! Gods look at his hair. It was so short then! Look at how close you guys are!" 

The next hour is shared over cake and memories. It feels good to be "family" if only for the night. 

"It is getting late Mitsuki dear." Masaru says softly, pulling a sigh from his wife. She stands and everyone follows. She gives hugs out by the door, squeezing you especially tight. 

"Oh Katsuki! The two of you should have Christmas dinner here, we are having fried chicken!" Mitsuki exclaims, immediately Bakugou shuts it down giving you a look as if you gave her the idea  

"No! We havta work." He shrugs his shoulders, holding out his jacket for you to slip into. Slowly you slip your arms in as you watch disappointment wash over Mitsuki's features. 

Don't say it, don't say it don't say it. 

You ignore the voice in your head and say it anyway. 

"Actually, Eijirou forced us off Christmas remember? Since we've worked so many in a row." Bakugou bristles, obviously agitated as he roughly places the jacket on your shoulders, resting his hot hands there. 

"Come on we didn't have any plans right?" 

A part of you does it for the money, another part of you does it out of loneliness.

He glares at you, squeezing you so hard you're sure it'd be bruised. 

"Fine." He bites out while Mitsuki grabs at his ear. 

"Don't act as if we are a chore!" She taps her bracelet, "Family first!" 

"Family first." He growls and you're learning this is what they say instead of 'I love you'. He tries to guide you out to the car but his mother grabs his sleeve. 

"It'll be just a moment dear." She smiles at you, Bakugou goes into his pants pockets for the keys for you but you are already dangling them with a devilish smirk. His eyes harden as you turn to give him your back. Hand smoothly removing the old All Might keychain to attach it to his keys. A part of you will wonder if he will notice. 

Meanwhile Mitsuki gives Bakugou a deadly look before an even deadlier hug. 

"I really like her." She pulls away allowing Bakugou to step outside, "Don't fuck this up." 

[talesmaniac89]

Nicotine

Pairing: Dean x Reader (Reader is not actually present in the story, just mentioned)

Summary: Dean has his vices, but they all pale in comparison to how he craves you. Yet he pushed you away, leaving him gasping for air.

Word Count: 1966

Triggers: Talks about addiction, unhealthy coping mechanisms, romanticizing unhealthy behaviours (vices/addictions), alcohol, nicotine, heartbreak, angst, self-medicating, drugs (not taking drugs just the language used as metaphors), brief mentions of sex though no smut.

Y/N = Your Name | Y/L/N = Your Last Name

A/N: Written for the lovely @katehuntington​​‘s 1K Celebration (Congratulations again💚!). I chose the song Nicotine by Chef’Special - The story uses slightly reworded lyrics at multiple points, but I’ve marked the lyrics in bold in the one place I used the lyrics directly (with a change in tense from “is” to “was” to make it work with the story).

---

Dean had his vices. 

Hell, he nearly collected them like some people collected baseball cards; carefully filed and stored away in the dark recesses of his mind for when he needed an escape from the real world. A personal prescription to hedonistic tendencies that temporarily drowned out anger, pain and weakness. 

Sex, alcohol, adrenaline, unreasonable amounts of coffee, grease and sugar. They were his coping mechanisms. His form of self-medicating in a job that definitely didn’t offer a healthcare plan. Was it unhealthy? Yeah, maybe. But everything else in his life was already out to kill him, so he couldn’t really make himself care enough to stop. It wasn’t as if liver failure or death by sugar overdose was what was waiting for him down the line anyway. He’d never make it that far. 

No, Dean Winchester would die like he lived; with a gun in his hand, anger in his eyes and a weak hope for humanity in his heart.

His vices, his addictions, just let him escape from all the shit in his life for a little while. Let him feel like he had control over some part of his screwed-up existence. They were the comforting oblivion when the real world just hurt too much and the needed driving force when he was just too angry at the world to stay in one place and went looking for a hunt. For some sick bastard or monster to hurt in place of himself.

Each vice served its purpose. 

Casual sex and quick hook-ups for the days his bed felt too big and the loneliness was eating at him. Caffeine for when he was just tired of the constant sleepless nights and nightmares. Adrenaline and recklessness when he was angry at the fucking world. Alcohol to shut out the guilty thoughts and his not-so-greatest hits playing back featuring everyone he’d ever failed for just one night… You name a less than stellar state of mind; Dean had a vice to cope with it.

Though he’d stayed away from anything harder than alcohol as far as anything that could be considered ‘recreational’ went. He might be reckless, but he wasn’t about to make himself an easy mark by getting strung up on something that a bit of fresh air couldn’t shake. No, even when indulging, Dean wasn’t stupid. He was a hunter first, and one with a massive target on his back at that. He needed to keep a clear head to face the monsters the world kept throwing his way. 

He’d also never really gotten the whole fuss and temptation of cigarettes, past trying one once in his teens. The greyish bitter smoke reminded him too much of the black toxic cloud of sulfur that followed a possession. And he liked flavours and sensations when it came to his vices; the burn of a good whiskey, the pleasant heat of a woman’s body, the heavy pulse of an adrenaline rush. Not the thought of inhaling bitter, foul smelling smoke into his lungs and coughing them up until he got hooked on it. He never really understood why anyone would want to inhale anything other than air (and the occasional burger) in the first place. It just wasn’t natural.

Or at least he hadn’t… Until he met you. 

That’s when stolen moments of inhaled sweet air became another thing to get hooked on. The teasing whiff of your fresh shampoo as you brushed past him in the hallway. The sugar sweet rush of your scent that left him breathless when he’d pulled you close and out of danger. The breaths of cotton candy air he’d greedily stolen from your open mouth against his as he gasped around the taste of you once he finally worked up the courage to kiss you.

That was all it took. One gasped breath, and he was hooked. 

Every other vice and addiction paled in comparison to you. Some men had nicotine, Dean Winchester had you; his drug of choice. From that first dizzying hit of inhaled sugar and salt as he buried his face in your damp, heated neck, writing love stories on your skin with his tongue and teeth, Dean had been a goner. 

He needed to feel you under his fingers, taste you on his tongue and breathe in the sweet scent of your warm skin to fall asleep. Hell, to just stop from losing his mind when the world decided to test the limits of his sanity once more.

When you were around, he felt whole again. He hadn’t felt that way in years; that long lost and forgotten happiness. Like he was good, worthy and human. You were the only drug he’d ever need. The soothing touch of your fingers against his forehead was better than the oblivion found at the bottom of a bottle. Your steady breaths that lulled him into dreamless sleep removed the need for caffeine completely. And your body next to his on the bed didn’t just momentarily chase away the loneliness, it completely erased it. 

Dean didn’t just crave you. He needed you like others needed air.

Yet he’d chased you away. Leaving him tossing and turning in twisted sheets from withdrawal now that your skin wasn’t easily within the reach of his greedy fingers. His throat was rough and raw with a thirst he couldn’t quench. He couldn’t sleep, couldn’t think, couldn’t fucking breathe. His head was pounding with the constant echoes of your last fight. The ghost of your skin against his fingers was like an itch he couldn’t scratch. He needed you to breathe. He needed to taste you on his tongue. Dean needed you.

But you were gone. 

After another hard hunt, another life lost, he’d pushed you away. Yelling angry words that he didn’t even remotely mean, even in the heat of the moment, to make you leave him. Since he didn’t have the willpower to kick the habit that was (Y/N) (Y/L/N) himself. Silently begging you to get out before it was late, before your name was added to the list of people he failed to save. Breaking his own heart even as he told you that what you’d shared had to stop. 

It had been a bad fight. He might not have known how to stop craving you, but if there was one thing Dean Winchester was an expert at it was destruction. Tearing down anything remotely good in his life as if he was a controlled explosion; leaving the bad untouched and disintegrating the good. Demolishing beautiful, safe walls and leaving just a wreckage made of hurt, hunts and freezing lonely nights. It was the Winchester legacy; no heart left unbroken, no happy endings and no bright light at the end of endless dark tunnels. 

He’d told you he didn’t need you. That you made him weaker. That you were a danger to them. Turning everything he believed about himself on its head and mirroring it, so you had to temporarily carry the burdens, just for long enough to realise he was toxic. That he was a harmful habit that you needed to kick, or it would end up forcing you straight into an early, unmarked grave. 

He’d turned his back on you, and you’d left. Your angry tears drowned his already shattered heart as you spun on your heel and removed all traces of yourself from his life. Your parting words a bitter echo of love that just wouldn’t stop ringing in his ears. The beautiful sound of your voice, breaking over a promise of a love he didn’t deserve. 

“You hurt me Dean. And fuck if I don’t want to hurt you back. But I love you, and I always will, even if you can’t love yourself,”

He’d done it for your sake. Dean Winchester wasn’t really a safe pair of arms to rest in. Yet, the moment the door shut behind your retreating back, he’d regretted it. Sinking to his knees with the early shakes of withdrawal. 

He hadn’t realised how deep he’d fallen, how addicted he’d become to your plump lips and the bittersweet taste of your kiss. He was high on you, and he wasn’t coming down. Instead, everything he tried to do to wean himself off your taste, your touch and your scent only solidified how much he needed you. Your love was the cure, the miracle drug needed to survive the damned hell that was his unfair and unforgiving life.

But you were gone, and it was his fucking fault.

Twisting his body on the hard mattress Dean barely glanced at the glowing numbers on his bedside clock before combing a hand roughly through his hair and glaring at the dark ceiling above him. Anger radiating off of him and staining the ceiling with new guilty shadows and stupid decisions. 3 am; another sleepless, loveless night.

Before you, he would’ve just gotten out of bed on nights like that. Found a bottle and drank until the room started spinning and he passed out. But the taste of you was hotter than whiskey, the pull for you stronger than the oblivion he was trying to chase.

Staring at the ceiling, he squeezed his eyes shut and pinched at the bridge of his nose. His head was killing him, his body was aching for you. He just needed to fall asleep. To try and find his way to a dream featuring you, as if he was chasing a fading high. Just to not feel anything for at least a little while. To not freeze to death from the chill to his left where you’d been just days earlier. Just within his reach whenever he needed to feel your pulse against trembling fingertips or steal another gasped sugared moan from your lips. 

He was desperate for at least an hour of shut eye, of a dream of you. Even though he knew it was useless. Sleep wasn’t a cure. It wasn’t even a fucking band aid. Even if he managed to block out the hurt, the need, for a few hours. It’d just come rushing back once he woke back up. Knocking the air out of him and leaving him pinned to cold sheets, gasping for you. 

It was futile. Your love was like a drug. He couldn’t just forget you. He couldn’t sleep this off and shake it. He needed you more than adrenaline, alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, sugar… More than any fucking vice that anyone could think up. Without you he couldn’t even taste the burn of the whiskey or feel the heat of the sun on his skin. You were the colour to his sketched outline. Nothing else mattered if you weren’t there.

Opening his eyes, Dean’s feet found the chill of the concrete floor before he even fully realised what he was doing. He needed you. He’d been fucking stupid, letting you go. And even if all he could do was drive around aimlessly, looking for your car, then that’s what he’d do. It was 3 am, but Dean didn’t care. He’d drive, and he’d keep driving until he found you again. Until he could beg you for forgiveness. Beg you to come home to him.

He barely even remembered to grab his keys and jacket in his rush to fill the craving that was tearing his heart apart. Pulling the worn leather jacket on over the t-shirt and sweatpants he’d been sleeping in, or trying to sleep in, as he shouldered the door to his room open. 

He had to find you, had to make things right.

Dean Winchester had his vices. But you were no vice. You were a virtue, and he wasn’t gonna let you go. Not without chasing the sweet high of your kiss till the end of the world. 

 ---

Tags:

Dean Winchester Tags: @ria132love​​ @woodworthti666​​ @defenderrosetyler​  @akshi8278​

Forever Tags: @deanwanddamons​ @winchest09​ @hobby27​  @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​​ 

[mychemicalficrecs]

Hiya! Not sure if you do this, but would you be able to suggest some non-ao3 finished frerard fics? It seems I've read ao3's entire collection 😅 Thank you so much, you're honestly my favourite blog on here xx

Thanks for your kind words, Nonny! And... congratz on reading the entire ao3 tag, there are a lot of works there :D

Frank/Gerard is such a popular ship that I was actually able to find quite a lot from outside ao3.

Non-AO3 Frank/Gerard

Thing-Thing by sinsense, 43k, NC-17. When Gerard signed the admissions paperwork for the Fordhaven School for Boys, he knew he was signing up for four years of sexual frustration. No one was gay at Fordhaven. Gerard was all-too-aware that he would be a virgin until he graduated. In his senior year, though, this stupid gay freshman disproves Fordhaven's straightness, and throws Gerard's entire world off-kilter. Now, in between drawing, avoiding bullies, running an incredibly serious tabletop RP game, failing out of math, and hanging out with friends, Gerard is also busy kind of falling for this asshole who's way too young for him. It's not what he planned on, but it's what's happening. In conclusion: high school sucks.

I Think I Thought (I Saw You Try) by thatsfinewithus, ~3,000, NC-17. Welcome to some weird AU world in which Gee only does awesome comics and Frank is a vampire.

They Came From Outer Jersey! by thatsfinewithus, 25k, R. New London Fire is an elite fringe government force assigned the task of protecting the earth from some of its more interesting threats: those from beyond the atmosphere or even the universe. They've handled dangerous cases before, but they've never seen anything like...ZOMBIES FROM SPACE. Vampires, long hunted in lore and legend, are now the earth's only saviors. There is little information as to who sent the creatures until Mikey Way, head of the NLF, finds out more by being abducted. Is it too late for him? Is it too late for the earth? Find out how six vampires, one government general, and one frustrated comic book artist save the earth in...THEY CAME FROM OUTER JERSEY!!

I never told you what I do for a living. by not0_fuckin_kay, 60k+, PG-13 to NC-17. Frank Iero, male nurse at Pete Wentz's private hospital and possibly more to one new patient he can't keep his eyes off of. When a new pateint is brought in with amnesia, just days before Christmas, and with nothing but the clothes on his back and a strange drawing, it's left to Frank to find out who he is and what happened to him. When he does, it changes Frank's life forever, as he's thrust into love and health scares he never thought would complicate his life. This is the story of how he tries to make it through, juggling his job and his love-life and just trying to make things better. With Patrick the doctor, Bob the ward supervisor, Travis the unlikely therapist, and Mikey, the sometimes wannabe homicidal geek.

Of All The Hidden Corners by moneyes, ~44K, PG-13. An epic, adventurous tale filled with alternate universes, lords, mischief, magical powers, snark, boyfriends, and luck of the bad kind.

All We Are by lightisbreaking, 21k, R. Set in the future, where humans are on the brink of evolution. For the select few born with a special awareness of their own minds - an awareness which gives them abilities beyond the norm, life is suddenly a very dangerous thing. Frightened of what this could mean, the government set out to make this new race of humans extinct, telling the public that these people are mentally unstable defectives and must be kept under observation for the safety of the public. All of this brings together a rather odd troupe of people, hiding from the government and eventually having to protect one of their own when he's taken into custody. Superpowers AU!

Tell Us a Story by bexless, imogenedisease, 32k, NC-17. The world as these kids know it is ending, and Gabe Saporta is throwing the party. High school AU based on the movie Can't Hardly Wait.

Stay Right Here by idktbh, swagneto, 28k, R. Frank is involved in an accident which renders him paralyzed from the waist down. When Frank begins to withdraw into himself, his relationship with Gerard crumbles and the band faces the hardest decision they'll ever make: whether to continue playing or not. This is a story about how MCR copes with the biggest obstacle of their career so far.

Return to Spirit Lake by inpurity, 22k, R. Gerard Way has left Spirit Lake when he was eighteen to study to become a veterinary surgeon, and with no intention of ever coming back. Twelve years later he is back, carrying secrets of a life spent away from his family and friends, and the weight of a dark, painful sorrow. His old home town has not changed, but his life, and the lives of the people he will meet along the way, will never be the same.

These Friday Night Lights by faux-disco-sins, 21k, PG-13. Gerard is the head cheerleader and wears the cheer skirt, Frank is on the football team, Pete is the school mascot, Ryan is the school’s hobo journalist, Jon does photography for the yearbook, Spencer and Patrick are in the marching band, Gabe and Ray are AV techs who do a ESPN spin-off for the school, Bob is the big scary lineman, and Mikey tries to fit in while ignoring the fact that his older brother is wearing a skirt in public.

Of Love And Superpowers by mcrnut, 20k, NC-17. Seventeen year old Frank Iero is in his last year at Mutant High. He has a couple of good friends, is doing okay in school and even though he has some issues with his Mother, life is pretty great. That is, until one day, when he overhears some of the professors talking about the well-known Anti-Mutant organization HSA and how they have already broken into two Mutant Academies and are heading their way. Frank and his friends have to stick their heads together and try to solve the mystery, and as if Frank didn't have enough to think about already, he finds himself falling for his friend's older brother, Gerard.

Cypress Grove by slashxyouxup, 24k+, NC17. My Chemical Romance fight off a town of sperm hoarding, men hating, PMSing maniac women in order to save themselves from certain doom! Also, Frank and Gerard get closer than close while pretending to not be completely in love with each other. Mikeyway is not amused.

Sleepwalker by lyrical_tragedy, 73k, NC-17. Frank Iero is one of the best cops in New Jersey so it’s only natural that his boss dumps a seemingly unsolvable case on him and his colleague Bob Bryar. With no leads whatsoever Frank enlists the help of Gerard Way, a reclusive young man who experiences strong visions and dreams of events from the past and visions of the future. However, none of them could ever begin to expect the terrifying chain of events that come into play once they delve deeper into the unknown, questioning Frank’s very beliefs on what the world actually holds. A story of visions, sacrifices, over protective brothers and love all in the midst of the attempted destruction of the world. The devil’s got your number and he will come calling, until it’s nothing more than hell on earth.

Patience Is A Virtue (You Might Be Good Looking, But You Can’t Sleep With Yourself Tonight) by eflorentino, 22k, NC-17. Frank Iero’s biggest hero is Gerard Way; the outspoken, obnoxious lead singer of the multi-platinum selling band My Chemical Romance. His world changes completely when he finds himself suddenly shoved into the limelight, playing sell-out shows every night and earning more than his usual $6 an hour. However, the infamously homophobic frontman isn’t what Frank expects, and after mixed signals and unsolved revelations he learns that, with Gerard Way, things are never simple.

But Nobody Cares If You're Losing Yourself by red_ones_fly, 16k, NC-17. It took me a while to work out that there was something wrong with Gerard, he kept it hidden well and, really, he didn’t even know something was wrong with him. To him it seemed like normal, everyday stuff. He never found any of his behaviour out of the ordinary. To him it was just reality.’ After Gerard's grandma passes away his behaviour becomes strange. He becomes less outgoing and more paranoid. As Frank tries to work out what’s going on with his friend/love interest, between school, learning psychology and dealing with the jocks, he doesn’t realise just how bad it is.

Parks and Recreation by vinvy, 35k+, PG-13. Gerard Way is an art school drop out with no prospects, student loans to pay off, and a dead end job. His mother works too hard and his little brother Mikey is keeping secrets. His boss runs shady contracts and smiles too much. It's nothing special and he tells himself that he'll learn to make peace with that- in the meantime he's got to carve out a living that doesn't involve artwork. Really, he's going to be okay. Then a crazy homeless kid comes along and screws up Gerard's Adventures in Normal Employment with his hippie magic and soulless eyes. Gerard can't shake the feeling that this guy "isn't quite right" but he's too busy fending off the freak accidents that are following him around to worry about that particular winged freak.

Empire Boys by noctecaelum, 30k, NC-17. In the city that never sleeps, it's tough to get your foot in the door. While Gabe Saporta may find it easy to blend into the socialite scene; Gerard Way spends his day blending eyeshadow at Bloomingdales. As newcomer Frank triumphs in Women's Lingerie, Gerard sparks a bitter rivalry in the vicinity of Lexington and 59th; but there's no use crying over spilt coffee because things are about to fire up. Meanwhile, on the Upper East Side, Gabe Saporta is none too pleased to read a socialite-bashing article, but when confronting the writer, he doesn't expect to meet fresh faced, pretty-boy William Beckett, who turns out to be the biggest tease this side of the Downtown Dunkin' Donuts.

The Evolution Index by theficisalie, 32k, NC-17. In a world where superpowers are just another thing that can get you sent to boarding school, Frank Iero and his friends know what it's like to operate under heavy levels of stress. After all, they did spend their formative years under the wings of the United States Government's most widespread and successful initiatives; a program that was created to protect and train young Americans with superpowers to become functioning members of society. And, as a side-benefit, the government realized that not only were telepaths great at taking drink orders, but they could also be trained to be highly successful secret agents. Under the guidance of Frank's volatile and (literally) power-hungry boyfriend Gerard Way; Frank, Mikey Way, and Ray Toro are an accomplished team of super spies. When a handful of people from Frank's sordid past crop up during an investigation of rash Superhuman disappearances across the country, the team finds themselves challenged both on and off the field as they fight to solve the mysteries plaguing their beloved nation. Frank knows all too much about uncovering things that he'd rather keep hidden, but can he and his team unravel the intricate web of crime and kidnapping surrounding Chicago without losing themselves in the process?

A Good Ocean Gone Wrong by xoxxblitz7, 32k, NC-17. Titanic AU - The Way's are one of the richest families in America and sometimes being an artist requires the need to travel. On the doomed maiden voyage of Titanic old friends are found, new love is formed and put to the test and the most luxurious crossing of the Atlantic ocean becomes a fight for survival.

A Fanfiction (In Which Gerard Has A Secret Stash of Star Wars Fanfiction) by sparklefap, 10k, R. Frank finds Gerard's bizarrely erotic Star Wars fanfiction, and is both disturbed and aroused by it. Those feelings won't do for Frank. He seeks revenge.

[vertigovaines]

The Doctor & The Punisher || Part One

summary: frank is experiencing side effects from the experimental drug vaines gave him. he’s not too pleased about it. but vaines is too smart to just be a sitting duck

trigger warnings: mentions of murder, violence, gore, weapons, etc. drugs, needles, and very vague science >>

featuring: @dogcfwar

FRANK: Frank knew Karen had a point. He knew Murdock, despite his many faults, was worth trusting when he told him about Vaines’ former ‘patients,’ how they had been fine at the beginning and found themselves hooked, desperate to get their next hit, the effects of Vydrate waning as the days went on. Frank’s serum was different. As time went on, he didn’t feel less powerful, didn’t feel as if the strength was draining slowly from his cells. Instead, it felt like they were growing, like he was twisting and turning inside out, and if he didn’t stop it soon, he’d grow too big for his own body.

Signing up to this shit hadn’t been a mistake, though. For all the dark, nagging uncertainty it brought, Frank knew he was better at what he did. He knew he was faster, stronger, smarter. He was himself only magnified, just like Vaines said -- but his hands still shook. His thoughts ran wild. He hadn’t slept in a week. And yeah, Karen was right. He needed to be there for this kid, needed to do the right thing.

When the hired thugs went for their shift change, Frank took advantage of the moment of weakness, choking them out and leaving them deposited in a pile outside the back entrance to Vortex. Vaines’ guards wouldn’t pose an issue to him, but that didn’t mean Frank wanted any interruptions, or someone informing Vaines he was there before he made his appearance. He walked down the hall, a little louder than he would’ve liked (this new Frank didn’t do subtlety the best, but neither had the old one) until he got to the door he knew the good doctor would be behind. Frank rapped the door with his knuckles, then stepped back, clasping his hands together as he waited.

VAINES: He had set up a lab within Vortex itself before Fish Mooney's untimely demise. And despite her protege's dislike of him, he saw no reason to discontinue its use. He made sure the guards were paid handsomely to keep his work protected and his presence a secret. It was useful, to have two labs to work from, and this basement room was far bigger than his other location.

Besides, given Frank Castle's past tendencies and the man's disposition towards him, Vaines thought it prudent to have certain security measures in place. He did not expect the decoy lab to work for very long, and he was proven right when he heard a knock on the door. Clients did not come to this location, and the guards knew better than to disturb him. He flicked on his security monitor and saw the men, slumped over by the back entrance. So the time had come, there was no doubt about it.

Vaines, however, was not frightened of the boogeyman at his door. He was always prepared, and Frank Castle would learn that soon enough. Vaines simply pressed a blue button by the door, and then the red one to open it. "Mr. Castle," he said, opening the door wide. "What can I do for you? Come back for another hit already?"

FRANK: A part of Frank had wondered whether Vaines would open the door or not, whether they would have to do this the difficult way. True to form, however, the man's arrogance had the door slide open, had him greeting Frank like they were business associates instead of what was really going down here. Frank was nothing but a lab rat to the man standing in front of him, just like Vaines was nothing but a means to an end, a way to get the results he was desperate for. After Fish Mooney went down, even more criminals were scrambling, trying to pick up the pieces. Frank had taken them all out, had made the city better, but his mission was far from over. Maybe it never would be.

"Shut the hell up," Frank muttered, purposefully knocking his shoulder against Vaines' on the way in, despite the fact that the door was opened wide enough to get a forklift through it. "Thought you said I wouldn't need another one? I'd be able to withstand it, or some shit?" That wasn't why Frank was here. He'd felt adrenaline before, he'd felt euphoria. He didn't get hooked. He maintained his focus -- that's what stopped him from becoming the psychopath the DA wanted him to be.

No, he was here for something else. He was here to kill this man, and he could do it right now, easily, but he wouldn't. Not yet. He needed a few answers, needed to secure his future, because goddamnit, the future actually mattered now where it hadn't before, not half as much. "I feel like I'm gonna crawl out of my fuckin' skin, Vaines," he said, looking over at him. "My goddamn hands, they're-" He cut himself off, holding his hands out to demonstrate how they shook. "Was that expected, huh? Just another screwed up side effect? What else is this shit gonna do, huh?" Frank got what he wanted, he knew there would be drawbacks, but he needed the truth. He could ask nicely, but he wasn't giving Vaines that satisfaction.

VAINES: "Impeccable manners as ever, Mr. Castle," Vaines quipped. His voice was cheerful, jovial even. He glanced at his watch. Yes, there was plenty of time to observe his experiment still. It was all about timing. So much of science was simply a matter of waiting for the right moment, the perfect opportunity, the exact right second. Vaines had plenty of patience, and he was masterful at seizing his opportunities.

"I also said I didn't know what the side effects could be," he said, saying the words slowly, like he was speaking to a very slow child. "The results are unpredictable. We are in uncharted waters, Mr. Castle, you knew that going in. Perhaps the effects will be permanent. Perhaps you'll crave more power. There's any number of reasons why you might be knocking on my doorstep tonight, but I assume whining about the side effects isn't one of them," he said, sneering a little.

He chuckled lightly, and casually stepped away, keeping the table between them. "Interesting," he noted, glancing over Frank's fingers. "I could prescribe something to counteract the shaking, but with your body chemistry changed, there's no telling how effective it might be. But it's only a small tremor, Mr. Castle," he said in a low voice. "You haven't lost your nerve have you?"

FRANK: Frank bit down on his automatic response - though fuck off would’ve been really goddamn satisfying - as he pushed past Vaines into the room. One door in, one door out. No windows, no areas of note that could mean some kind of escape route that wasn’t immediately visible. If Frank shot Vaines down in here, he doubted he would be found for hours, maybe even days, depending on how long it took his loyal customers to start feeling their withdrawal symptoms.

Vaines started speaking, and a muscle twitched in Frank’s jaw. “I was a marine. We don’t lose nerve,” Frank replied. For all that he was now, for all he had changed, that much was true. “It’s not just the tremor, Vaines. I’ve changed. I kill and I … I feel it for hours after. Adrenaline’s one thing, but this? This is something else.” Sometimes Frank sat down on Karen’s couch and felt as if his heart was going to bust out of his chest, like he was going into a coronary right there on the damn cushion. “I got stabbed in the neck the other night. Bled out, had to be litres, but it healed. I’m still here. You know what you did, so don’t give me this bullshit about not being able to control side effects, alright? You had to plan for this. You want to keep your lab rat alive, right?”

Both of them were profiting off this, but Frank knew it could only end one way. The second Vaines stopped speaking again, Frank took the gun from its holster, aiming it squarely between the man’s eyes. “Let’s make this really fuckin’ clear, alright?” Frank said, voice even, hand steady on the trigger -- this was the time it never shook, never had. “You ain’t in control here, Vaines. You never were. I asked for your shit, you didn’t pull me into it. So you’re gonna do what I ask, or you’re not. Piss me off, your precious brain is splattered against that wall. We understand each other?”

VAINES: "I'm sorry, do marines also whine about their hands shaking?" Vaines asked, a smug look on his face. He tutted under his breath. "What did you expect, Mr. Castle?" he asked, checking his watch again. He picked up a pen and scribbled down a few observations on his notepad before looking back up. "I didn't realize I would have to give you a history lesson," he said, smirking at the man.

"The original super-soldier serum was designed to enhance and amplify everything," he said slowly. "According to its creator, Dr. Abraham Erskine, the man, the test subject, was the most critical ingredient of the serum. He described it as 'good becomes great, bad becomes worse,'" Vaines said, in a choppy, dramatic German accent. "A bit poetic for my taste, but he wasn't wrong," he drawled. His eyes met Frank's, and they were shining with glee, with pride. "My serum does the same thing, only better. More effectively. Anything you're feeling, Mr. Castle, is not something I created in you, not something the serum put inside you. It's something that was already there, and now has been unleashed. I've unlocked your full potential, body and mind. You should be thanking me," he said.

But he was smart enough to know that would never happen. When Frank pulled the gun out, he was hardly surprised, just sighed and made another note on his pad. "Case in point, Mr. Castle," he murmured, glancing up at him. "You've always been a man who uses brute force to achieve his goals. You kill without compunction, without hesitation, so of course you think the best way to get me to do what you want is to wave a gun in my face. Has any of this really surprised you?" he asked, scoffing lightly. He set the pen down and folded his hands in front of him, smiling serenely.

"Tell me. What is it you expect me to do? I told you in the beginning there was no going back once we started. No backing out." He shrugged, spreading his arms wide. "So what if you feel your kills for hours? So what if your hand shakes and you heal better than ever before? Surely, given your profession, that's a bonus for you. Unless of course... There's some other reason you're feeling, shall we say, uneasy about the changes. Is there something you're not telling me, Mr. Castle?" he asked pointedly. "I can't help you without information, after all."

FRANK: Vaines started talking. As per usual, he started talking and he didn’t fucking stop. He just kept going, as if he was a lecturer in front of a class and Frank was the dumbass in the back row, not understanding a word he was saying -- a waste of time, a waste of resources, a waste of energy. Frank knew the opposite was the truth, that for all Vaines was talking to him like he was an idiot Frank had more than provided for him, and maybe that was what was pissing him off the most. Because yeah, Vaines did what Frank asked. He did exactly what Frank asked, even if he was irritating while he did it, even if he did have a small number of days left on this earth after this was over, after Frank was sure he was stabilised. But things had changed, since their first meeting in Vortex. Things would change even more before the year was out.

“Thanking you?” Frank repeated, the gun still firmly pointed at Vaines’ head, though his finger didn’t move on the trigger. “You should be thanking me. You want to peddle this shit out, you want to get other buyers, you think, what? You think they’ll be like me? Nah. You know that.” Frank knew himself he was the ideal candidate for this shit, even if his head left a little to be desired. “I don’t kill without hesitation,” Frank said, voice low. “I kill because there are people that will rape, murder, steal if I don’t. This -- this is my job, it ain’t my life.” Vaines’ eyes, then, seemed to cut through him, the same piercing intensity of the colour in that goddamn vial. Frank’s grip on the gun wavered, thoughts of Karen, of Amy, of the kid that hadn’t even been born coming through his mind. “I need to live,” he said finally. “I need to live, and if this shit is killing me, Vaines, you’re gonna tell me right now, you’re gonna fix it, and then I’m gonna kill you. We had a deal, asshole. That surprise you?”

VAINES: "Well, I certainly not going to tell you to shoot me, now am I?" Vaines said, a little wearily. He was growing tired of this game. But he figured he should determine whether this aggression and paranoia was normal for Frank, or an amplification from the serum. For posterity, so the next subject would be even more perfect. Because it was hard to deny how perfect Frank Castle was. How readily he took to the serum, how quickly it effected his mind and his body.

"That's true," he admitted finally. "But I'm sure I would manage. Science always finds a way," he quipped. It was the sort of thing his former colleagues would've put on a motivational poster, probably with a kitten in a lab coat. Vaines though, needed no such insipid reminders. He was confident in his own abilities, and he didn't need a man like Frank Castle to use them. "And I have given you the means to live your life very well, Mr. Castle," Vaines said, spreading his arms wide. "I fail to see the problem here."

There it was. The little waver, the hesitation, the need in Frank's eyes. "Of course I'm not surprised," Vaines replied, rolling his eyes. He sighed lightly, and checked his watch again. "A little disappointed, yes. As you said, you were a rather excellent test subject. But there are many rats in this city, and so many, many people looking for strength. Though none quite as predictable as you," he said, a smirk toying on his lips. "I always knew it would come to this. I had hoped you were telling the truth about not being compromised -- after a man who lives only to kill doesn't feel that... need to live, does he? A man who's life is killing, well, he isn't afraid to die."

Vaines laughed and stepped around the table, walking towards his door. He stood to one side, glancing at his watch once more. Any minute now. "It's a shame you aren't that man, Frank," he said, leaning against the wall and shrugging. "Luckily, I know exactly what kind of man you really are. I know you, Frank," he said, grin splitting his face. "And that's why I know, you won't be killing me tonight. Not unless, of course..." He glanced at the door as footsteps thundered down the hall. "You want to kill them, too."

The door burst open, and the first officers streamed inside. The boys in blue had arrived, just in the nick of time. It helped of course, that Vaines had alerted them the second Frank Castle arrived, warning them a few days earlier that the wanted man might make an appearance. And Vaines, at least, always kept to his word.

When he felt like it anyway.

FRANK: Vaines was good at putting on a show. If Frank didn’t believe wholeheartedly in the fact that the man was too arrogant for his own good, he might have thought that it was a front, a way to bluff Frank into thinking he had more firepower than he did -- but despite the wide gestures and the sweeping statements, he still had a tell. Everyone did, in the end. Frank wasn’t a spy, far from it, but he wasn’t an idiot, either. Vaines looked down at his watch for what had to be the third time in the past ten minutes, and Frank stayed silent, just tilted his head slightly as the other man continued to speak. He didn’t even get the chance to argue that Vaines had no idea what kind of man he was, because he could hear something above them. Footsteps, though it was clear from the way they were moving they were attempting for silence. Amateurs, then. No private army, or guns for hire. No, this was something else -- something that Vaines knew Frank wouldn’t be able to mow down with his bare hands, nevermind the guns on his belt.

“What the fuck did you do?” Frank said, cocking one of the guns, holding it so that he was exactly a beat away from blowing the little shit’s brains out over his precious laboratory -- but a beat wasn’t enough.

“Frank Castle!” an authoritative voice called out (at least, Frank guessed he was going for authoritative. It would be more believable if it didn’t waver). “NYPD! Put the gun on the floor, now!”

Frank’s lip twitched, and he didn’t drop his gaze from Vaines.

“I said, surrender, Castle! Now!”

He could see in the test tubes in front of him, and the dull monitors, that there were at least fifteen cops surrounding him, and from the sounds of it, there were more coming. If it was a year earlier, Frank would’ve pulled the trigger anyway. He would’ve taken Vaines out even if it meant he was shot dead at the same time. But now -- now he knew what Vaines was trying to accomplish here. He’d read Frank’s poker face, and called him on his bluff.

Frank let out a grunt, but bent over slowly, dropping the gun to the ground. The cops behind him let out a collective breath of relief.

“Hands up! Feet apart! Do not move, Castle!”

“I ain’t going anywhere, calm your tits,” Frank said, as one of the cops stood up. Her hands were shaking as she cuffed him, but when she read him his rights, her voice was perfectly smooth.

“Francis Castle, you are under arrest for murder in the first degree, murder in the second degree, manslaughter, aggravated assault, arson, perjury, conspiracy-”

“You son of a bitch,” Frank snapped, because it had been building and building and building and he couldn’t take it anymore, didn’t know how Vaines had wrangled it that Frank was the one getting taken away in cuffs -- but then again, Vaines had to be richer than God now, right, in money and in secrets? Two more cops stepped forward to grab him, but they found themselves taken an inch off their feet when Frank stepped up to Vaines.

Another two ran forward, and another two, and another, until eight were pulling him off him, and even at that it was a stretch to say they were succeeding. “I’ve been in jail before, Vaines,” Frank said, low. “You know how long it took me to get out. I’ll do the same this time.”

“Castle, pl-”

Frank spat on the ground in front of Vaines. “I’ll put my knife in your throat. I’m the last thing you’re ever gonna see, you piece of shit. Hope you enjoy your time as a dead man walking, Vaines.”

[rhetoricandlogic]

A Salvaging of Ghosts By Aliette de Bodard

Issue #195 - Science-Fantasy Month 3

, March 17, 2016

AUDIO PODCAST

EBOOK

(Finalist, WSFA Small Press Award, 2017)

Thuy’s hands have just closed on the gem—she can’t feel its warmth with her gloves, but her daughter’s ghost is just by her side, at the hole in the side of the ship’s hull, blurred and indistinct—when the currents of unreality catch her. Her tether to The Azure Serpent, her only lifeline to the ship, stretches; snaps.

And then she’s gone, carried forward into the depths.

On the night before the dive, Thuy goes below decks with Xuan and Le Hoa. It’s traditional; just as it is traditional that, when she comes back from a dive, she’ll claim her salvage and they’ll have another rousing party in which they’ll drink far too many gems dissolved in rice wine and shout poetry until The Azure Serpent’s Mind kindly dampens their incoherent ravings to give others their sleep—but not too much, as it’s good to remember life; to know that others onship celebrate surviving one more dive, like notches on a belt or vermillion beads slid on an abacus.

One more. Always one more.

Until, like Thuy’s daughter Kim Anh, that one last dive kills you and strands your body out there, in the dark. It’s a diver’s fate, utterly expected; but she was Thuy’s child—an adult when she died, yet forever Thuy’s little girl—and Thuy’s world contracts and blurs whenever she thinks of Kim Anh’s corpse, drifting for months in the cold alien loneliness of deep spaces.

Not for much longer; because this dive has brought them back where Kim Anh died. One last evening, one last fateful set of drinks with her friends, before Thuy sees her daughter again.

Her friends... Xuan is in a bad mood. No gem-drinking on a pre-dive party, so she nurses her rice wine as if she wishes it contains other things, and contributes only monosyllables to the conversation. Le Hoa, as usual, is elated; talking too much and without focus—dealing with her fears through drink, and food, and being uncharacteristically expansive.

“Nervous, lil’ sis?” she asks Thuy.

Thuy stares into the depth of her cup. “I don’t know.” It’s all she’s hoped for; the only chance she’ll ever get that will take her close enough to her daughter’s remains to retrieve them. But it’s also a dangerous dive into deep spaces, well into layers of unreality that could kill them all. “We’ll see. What about you?”

Le Hoa sips at her cup, her round face flushed with drink. She calls up, with a gesture, the wreck of the mindship they’re going to dive into; highlights, one after the other, the strings of gems that the scanners have thrown up. “Lots of easy pickings, if you don’t get too close to the wreck. And that’s just the biggest ones. Smallest ones won’t show up on sensors.”

Which is why they send divers. Or perhaps merely because it’s cheaper and less of an investment to send human beings, instead of small and lithe mindships that would effortlessly survive deep spaces, but each cost several lifetimes to build and properly train.

Thuy traces, gently, the contours of the wreck on the hologram—there’s a big hole in the side of the hull, something that blew up in transit, killing everyone onboard. Passengers’ corpses have spilled out like innards—all unrecognisable of course, flesh and muscles disintegrated, bones slowly torn and broken and compressed until only a string of gems remains to mark their presence.

Kim Anh, too, is gone: nothing left of Thuy’s precocious, foolhardy daughter who struggled every morning with braiding her hair—just a scattering of gems they will collect and sell offworld, or claim as salvage and drink away for a rush of short-lived euphoria.

There isn’t much to a gem—just that familiar spike of bliss, no connection to the dead it was salvaged from. Deep spaces strip corpses, and compress them into... these. Into an impersonal, addictive drug.

Still... still, divers cannibalise the dead; and they all know that the dead might be them, one day. It’s the way it’s always been done, on The Azure Serpent and all the other diver-ships: the unsaid, unbreakable traditions that bind them all.

It didn’t use to bother Thuy so much, before Kim Anh died.

“Do you know where she is?” Xuan asks.

“I’m not sure. Here, perhaps.” Thuy points, carefully, to somewhere very near the wreck of the ship. “It’s where she was when—”

When her suit failed her. When the comms finally fell silent.

Xuan sucks in a sharp breath. “Tricky.” She doesn’t try to dissuade Thuy, though. They all know that’s the way it goes, too.

Le Hoa attempts, forcefully, to change the subject. “Two more dives and Tran and I might have enough to get married. A real couple’s compartment, can you imagine?”

Thuy forces a smile. She hasn’t drunk enough; but she just doesn’t feel like rice wine: it’ll go to her head, and if there’s any point in her life when she needs to be there; to be clear-headed and prescient... “We’ll all get together and give you a proper send-off.”

All their brocade clothes retrieved from storage, and the rice wine they’ve been saving in long-term compartments onboard the ship taken out, sipped at until everything seems to glow; and the small, round gem-dreams dumplings—there’s no actual gems in them, but they’re deliberately shaped and positioned like a string of gems, to call for good fortune and riches to fall into the newlyweds’ hands, for enough that they can leave the ship, leave this life of dives and slow death...

Kim Anh never had a chance for any of this. When she died, she’d barely begun a relationship with one of the older divers—a fling, the kind that’s not meant to last onboard The Azure Serpent. Except, of course, that it was cut short, became frozen in grief and regrets and recriminations.

Thuy and Kim Anh’s ex seldom speak; though they do get drunk together, sometimes. And Cong Hoan, her eldest son, has been posted to another diver-ship. They talk on comms, and see each other for festivals and death anniversaries: he’s more distant than she’d like, but still alive—all that matters.

“You’re morbid again,” Xuan says. “I can see it in your face.”

Thuy makes a grimace. “I don’t feel like drinking.”

“Quite obviously,” Le Hoa says. “Shall we go straight to the poetry?”

“She’s not drunk enough,” Xuan says before Thuy can open her mouth.

Thuy flushes. “I’m not good at poetry, in any case.”

Le Hoa snorts. “I know. The point isn’t that you’re good. We’re all terrible at it, else we would be officials on a numbered planet with scores of servants at our beck and call. The point is forgetting.” She stops, then, looks at Thuy. “I’m sorry.”

Thuy forces a shrug she doesn’t feel. “Doesn’t matter.”

Le Hoa opens her mouth, and then closes it again. “Look...” she says. She reaches inside her robes and withdraws something—Thuy knows, even before she opens her hand, what it will be.

The gem is small, and misshapen: the supervisors won’t let them keep the big, pretty ones as salvage; those go to offworld customers, the kind rich enough to pay good money for them. It glistens like spilled oil in the light of the teahouse; and in that light, the dumplings on the table and the tea seem to fade into the background; to recede into tasteless, odourless insignificance. “Try this.”

“I—” Thuy shakes her head. “It’s yours. And before a dive...”

Le Hoa shrugs. “Screw tradition, Thuy. You know it’s not going to change anything. Besides, I have some stash. Don’t need this one.”

Thuy stares at it—thinking of dropping it in the cup and watching it dissolve; of the warmth that will slide down into her stomach when she drinks; of the rising euphoria seizing all her limbs until everything seems to shake with the bliss of desire—of how to step away, for a time; away from tomorrow and the dive, and Kim Anh’s remains.

“Come on, lil’ sis.”

Thuy shakes her head. She reaches for the cup of rice wine, drains it in one gulp; leaving the gem still on the table.

“Time for poetry,” she says, aloud. The Azure Serpent doesn’t say anything—he so seldom speaks, not to the divers, those doomed to die—but he dims the lights and the sound as Thuy stands up, waiting for words to well up from the empty pit in her chest.

Xuan was right: you need to be much drunker than this, for decent verses.

Thuy knows where her parents died. The wreck they were scavenging from is on her ancestral altar, at the end of the cycling of holos that shows First and Second Mother go from newlyweds flushed with drink and happiness, to older, greyer women holding their grandchild in their arms, their smile cautious; tentative; as if they already know they will have to relinquish her.

Aboard The Azure Serpent, they’re legends, spoken of in hushed tones. They went deeper, farther into unreality than anyone else ever has. Divers call them The Long Breathers, and they have their own temple, spreading over three compartments and always smelling of incense. On the temple walls, they are depicted in their diving suits, with the bodhisattva Quan Am showing them the way into an empty cabin; where divers leave offerings praying for good fortune and prosperity.

They left nothing behind. Their suits crumbled with them, and their bodies are deep within the wreck of that mindship: two scatterings of gems in a cabin or a corridor somewhere, forever irretrievable; too deep for anyone to survive retrieval, even if they could be located anymore, in the twenty-one years since they died.

On the altar is Bao Thach: her husband, not smiling but stern and unyielding, as utterly serious in death as he was mischievous and whimsical in life.

She has nothing left of him, either.

Kim Anh... Kim Anh is by her father’s side; because she died childless and unmarried; because there is no one else who will mourn her or say the prayers to ease her passage. Thuy isn’t the first, or the last, to do this onboard the ship.

There’s a box, with enough space for a single gem. For what Thuy has earned the right to salvage from her daughter’s body: something tangible, palpable that she can hold onto, not the holos or her own hazy-coloured and shrivelled memories—holding a small, wrinkled baby nursing at her breast and feeling contentment well up in her, stronger than any gem-induced euphoria—Kim Anh at age ten, trying to walk in a suit two sizes too big for her—and a few days before her death, the last meal she and Thuy had in the teahouse: translucent dumplings served with tea the colour of jade, with a smell like cut grass on a planet neither of them will ever live to see.

Kim Anh isn’t like Thuy’s mothers: she died outside a different mindship, far enough from the wreck that it’s possible to retrieve her. Tricky, as Xuan said; but what price wouldn’t Thuy pay, to have something of her daughter back?

In the darkness at the hole in the ship’s hull, Thuy isn’t blind. Her suit lights up with warnings—temperature, pressure, distortions. That last is what will kill her: the layers of unreality utterly unsuited to human existence, getting stronger and stronger as the current carries her closer to the wreck of the mindship, crushing her lungs and vital organs like crumpled paper when her suit finally fails.

It’s what killed Kim Anh on her last dive; what eventually kills most divers. Almost everyone on The Azure Serpent—minus the supervisors, of course—lives with that knowledge, that suspended death sentence.

Thuy would pray to her ancestors—to her mothers the Long Breathers—if only she knew what to ask for.

Thuy closes her hand over the gem. She deactivates the suits’ propulsion units and watches her daughter’s remains, floating beside her.

Gems and more gems—ranging from the small one she has in her hand to the larger, spherical ones that have replaced the organs in the torso. It’s a recent death compared to that of the mindship: the gems still form something vaguely like a human shape, if humans could be drawn in small, round items like droplets of water; or like tears.

And, as the unreality readings spike, the ghost by her side becomes sharper and sharper, until she sees, once more, Kim Anh as she was in life. Her hair is braided—always with the messy ends, the ribbon tied haphazardly; they used to joke that she didn’t need a tether, because the ribbon would get caught in the ship’s airlock in strands thick and solid enough to bring her back. Her eyes are glinting—with tears, or perhaps with the same oily light as that of a gem.

Hello, Mother.

“Child”, Thuy whispers, and the currents take her voice and scatter it—and the ghost nods, but it might as well be at something Thuy can’t see.

Long time no see.

They’re drifting apart now: hurtling down some dark, silent corridor into the wreck that dilates open like an eye—no no no, not after all of this, not after the certainty she’ll lose her own life to the dive—and Thuy shifts, making the propulsion units in the suit strain against the currents, trying to reach Kim Anh; to hold her, to hold something of her, down there in the dark...

And then something rushes at her from behind, and she feels a sharp, pressing pain through the nape of the suit—before everything fades away.

When Thuy wakes up—nauseous, disoriented—the comms are speaking to her.

“Thuy? Where are you?” It’s Xuan’s voice, breathless and panicking. “I can help you get back, if you didn’t drift too far.”

“I’m here,” she tries to say; and has to speak three times before her voice stops shaking; becomes audible enough. There is no answer. Wherever she is—and, judging by the readings, it’s deep—comms don’t emit anymore.

She can’t see Kim Anh’s body—she remembers scrabbling, struggling to remain close to it as the currents separated them, but now there is nothing. The ghost, though, is still there, in the same room, wavering in the layers of unreality; defined in traceries of light that seem to encompass her daughter’s very essence in a few sharp lines.

Thuy still has the gem in her hand, tucked under the guard of her wrist. The rest of her daughter’s gems—they’ve fallen in and are now floating somewhere in the wreck, somewhere far away and inaccessible, and...

Her gaze, roaming, focuses on where she is; and she has to stop herself from gasping.

It’s a huge, vaulted room like a mausoleum—five ribs spreading from a central point, and racks of electronics and organics, most of them scuffed and knocked over; pulsing cables converging on each other in tight knots, merging and parting like an alchemist’s twisted idea of a nervous system. In the centre is something like a chair, or a throne, all ridges and protrusions, looking grown rather than manufactured. Swarms of repair bots lie quiescent; they must have given up, unable to raise the dead.

The heartroom. The centre of the ship, where the Mind once rested—the small, wilted thing in the throne is all that’s left of its corpse. Of course. Minds aren’t quite human; and they were made to better withstand deep spaces.

“Thuy? Please come in. Please...” Xuan is pleading now, her voice, growing fainter and fainter. Thuy knows about this too: the loss of hope.

“Thuy? Is that your name?”

The voice is not Xuan’s. It’s deeper and more resonant; and its sound make the walls shake—equipment shivers and sweats dust; and the cables writhe and twist like maddened snakes.

“I have waited so long.”

“You—” Thuy licks dry lips. Her suit is telling her—reassuringly, or not, she’s not certain—that unreality has stabilised; and that she has about ten minutes left before her suit fails. Before she dies, holding onto her daughter’s gem, with her daughter’s ghost by her side. “Who are you?”

It’s been years, and unreality has washed over the ship, in eroding tide after eroding tide. No one can have survived. No one, not even the Long Breathers.

Ancestors, watch over me.

“The Boat Sent by the Bell,” the voice says. The walls of the room light up, bright and red and unbearable—characters start scrolling across walls on all sides of Thuy, poems and novels and fragments of words bleeding from the oily metal, all going too fast for her to catch anything but bits and pieces, with that touch of bare, disquieting familiarity. “I—am—was—the ship.”

“You’re alive.” He... he should be dead. Ships don’t survive. They die, just like their passengers. They—

“Of course. We are built to withstand the farthest, more distorted areas of deep spaces.”

“Of course.” The words taste like ashes on her mouth. “What have you been waiting for?”

The ship’s answer is low, and brutally simple. “To die.”

Still alive. Still waiting. Oh, ancestors. When did the ship explode? Thirty, forty years ago? How long has the Mind been down here, in the depths—crippled and unable to move, unable to call out for help; like a human locked in their own body after a stroke?

Seven minutes, Thuy’s suit says. Her hands are already tingling, as if too much blood were flooding to them. By her side, Kim Anh’s ghost is silent, unmoving, its shape almost too sharp; too real; too alien. “Waiting to die? Then that makes two of us.”

“I would be glad for some company.” The Boat Sent by the Bell‘s voice is grave, thoughtful. Thuy would go mad, if she were down here for so long—but perhaps mindships are more resistant to this kind of thing. “But your comrades are calling for you.”

The comms have sunk to crackles; one of her gloves is flickering away, caught halfway between its normal shape and a clawed, distorted paw with fingers at an impossible angle. It doesn’t hurt; not yet. “Yes.” Thuy swallows. She puts the gem into her left hand—the good one, the one that’s not disappearing, and wraps her fingers around it, as if she were holding Kim Anh. She’d hold the ghost, too, if she could grasp it. “It’s too deep. I can’t go back. Not before the suit fails.”

Silence. Now there’s pain—faint and almost imperceptible, but steadily rising, in every one of her knuckles. She tries to flex her fingers; but the pain shifts to a sharp, unbearable stab that makes her cry out.

Five minutes.

At length the ship says, “A bargain, if you will, diver.”

Bargains made on the edge of death, with neither of them in a position to deliver. She’d have found this funny, in other circumstances. “I don’t have much time.”

“Come here. At the centre. I can show you the way out.”

“It’s—” Thuy grits her teeth against the rising pain—”useless. I told you. We’re too deep. Too far away.”

“Not if I help you.” The ship’s voice is serene. “Come.”

And, in spite of herself—because, even now, even here, she clings to what she has—Thuy propels herself closer to the centre; lays her hand, her contracting, aching right hand, on the surface of the Mind.

She’s heard, a long time ago, that Minds didn’t want to be touched this way. That the heartroom was their sanctuary; their skin their own private province, not meant to be stroked or kissed, lest it hurt them.

What she feels, instead, is... serenity—a stretching of time until it feels almost meaningless, her five minutes forgotten; what she sees, for a bare moment, is how beautiful it is, when currents aren’t trying to kill you or distort you beyond the bounds of the bearable, and how utterly, intolerably lonely it is, to be forever shut off from the communion of ships and space; to no longer be able to move; to be whole in a body that won’t shift, that is too damaged for repairs and yet not damaged enough to die.

I didn’t know, she wants to say, but the words won’t come out of her mouth. The ship, of course, doesn’t answer.

Behind her, the swarms of bots rise—cover her like a cloud of butterflies, blocking off her field of view; a scattering of them on her hand, and a feeling of something sucking away at her flesh, parting muscle from bone.

When The Boat Sent by the Bell releases her, Thuy stands, shaking—trying to breathe again, as the bots slough away from her like shed skin and settle on a protuberance near the Mind. Her suit has been patched and augmented; the display, flickering in and out of existence, tells her she has twenty minutes. Pain throbs, a slow burn in the flesh of her repaired hand; a reminder of what awaits her if she fails.

On the walls, the characters have been replaced by a map, twisting and turning from the heartroom to the breach in the hull. “Thirteen minutes and fifty-seven seconds,” the ship says, serenely. “If you can propel fast enough.”

“I—” She tries to say something, anything. “Why?” is the only thought she can utter.

“Not a gift, child. A bargain.” The ship’s voice has that same toneless, emotionless serenity to it—and she realises that The Boat Sent by the Bell has gone mad after all; cracks in the structure small and minute, like a fractured porcelain cup, it still holds water, but it’s no longer whole. “Where the bots are... tear that out, when you leave.”

“The bots could have done that for you,” Thuy says.

If the ship were human, he would have shaken his head. “No. They can repair small things, but not... this.”

Not kill. Not even fix the breach in the hull, or make the ship mobile. She doesn’t know why she’s fighting back tears—it’s not even as if she knew the ship, insofar as anyone can claim to know a being that has lived for centuries.

She moves towards the part the bots have nestled on, a twisted protuberance linked to five cables, small enough to fit into her hand, beating and writhing, bleeding iridescent oil over her fingers. The bots rise, like a swarm of bees, trying to fight her. But they’re spent from their repairs, and their movements are slow and sluggish. She bats them away, as easily as one would bat a fly—sends them flying into walls dark with the contours of the ship’s map, watches them bleed oil and machine guts all over the heartroom, until not one remains functional.

When she tears out the part, The Boat Sent by the Bell sighs, once—and then it’s just Thuy and the ghost, ascending through layers of fractured, cooling corpse.

Later—much, much later, after Thuy has crawled, breathless, out of the wreck, with two minutes to spare—after she’s managed to radio Xuan—after they find her another tether, whirl her back to the ship and the impassive doctor—after they debrief her—she walks back to her compartment. Kim Anh’s ghost comes with her, blurred and indistinct; though no one but Thuy seems to be able to see it.

She stands for a while in the small space, facing the ancestral altar. Her two mothers are watching her, impassive and distant—the Long Breathers, and who’s to say she didn’t have their blessing, in the end?

Kim Anh is there too, in the holos—smiling and turning her head to look back at something long gone—the box on the altar awaiting its promised gem; its keepsake she’s sacrificed so much for. Someone—Xuan, or Le Hoa, probably—has laid out a tray with a cup of rice wine, and the misshapen gem she refused back in the teahouse.

“I didn’t know,” she says, aloud. The Azure Serpent is silent, but she can feel him listening. “I didn’t know ships could survive.”

What else are we built for? whispers The Boat Sent by the Bell, in her thoughts; and Thuy has no answer.

She fishes inside her robes, and puts Kim Anh’s gem in the palm of her right hand. They allowed her to keep it as salvage, as a testament to how much she’s endured.

The hand looks normal, but feels... odd, distant, as if it were no longer part of her, the touch of the gem on it an alien thing, happening to her in another universe.

Her tale, she knows, is already going up and down the ship—she might yet find out they have raised her an altar and a temple, and are praying to her as they pray to her mothers. On the other side of the table, by the blind wall that closes off her compartment, her daughter’s ghost, translucent and almost featureless, is waiting for her.

Hello, Mother.

She thinks of The Boat Sent by the Bell, alone in the depths—of suits and promises and ghosts, and remnants of things that never really die, and need to be set free.

“Hello, child,” she whispers. And, before she can change her mind, drops the gem into the waiting cup.

The ghost dissolves like a shrinking candle-flame; and darkness closes in—silent and profound and peaceful.

[peacekeeper-xiv]

Honest Q&A: Round 5! Table

Glad to see you all here. Let’s jump right in then. It’s been a while and our reader’s will surely be itching to learn more about Eorzea’s adventurous types.

If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce?

Lloire: “Tch. I would introduce a law that changed our system of government to one more akin to Ishgard’s House of Commons system so that whatever fools put me in charge stood a better chance.”

K’risa: “Um, doesn’t the fact that you wanna do that make you a good choice for a ruler? Anyways, I would introduce laws that were in place to severely punish anyone found tempered or assisting with tempering.”

Beta: “No, no, miss Mau. He’s right. A leader’s gotta be willing to be willing to NOT be sacrificial. The General has to know when –they- have to withdraw from the field, and Lloire just wouldn’t ever be able to do that. For me though, I’d put strict regulations on Magitek use to coincide with the increased production.”

Chadrick: “The feck? Tha three o’ ye can actually think o’ this shyte? Nay lads, Ah’m nay rulin’ anyone. Ah suppose me first an’ only law would be t’ abolish tha government so each man was free.”

Aasifa: “Aasifa is banning slaves or people who are being worked ;like slaves for little gil.”

Benedict: “I consider myself a man of the gods. It would be improper for me to rule over others. My beliefs would unfairly cloud my judgment.”

Chance: “A merc country? Heh, a king who fights his own battles. Would be a sight, yea?”

Felix: “Only fools rule. A ruler is always a puppet. A puppet to those with coin, to the popular opinion, to blackmail, or any number of other things. Why rule when you can manipulate from the shadows? I’d never get suckered into being any country’s ruler.”

 What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)?

Lloire: “A week. …People I cared about were trapped within the void. I spent a week fighting to free them and only finally slept when Soren drugged me.”

K’risa: “A week? How are you not dead? No. I don’t wanna know. Longest I went was still less than a day. What? Girl needs her rest!”

Beta: “Um, well… crankshafts… I think it was three days? I was building something important.”

Chadrick: “T’was bout twenty-four ‘ours. Was travelin’ through some rough territory. Could nay afford t’ sleep, so, we pushed through.”

Aasifa: “Aasifa is sleeping every day. It is only way to stay strong, yes?”

Benedict: “I am in agreement with Master Taqalid. Proper rest is important for the body and mind.”

Chance: “Three days. Dravonians had us pinned down.”

Felix: “I didn’t count, but I recall it was several weeks. I had an experiment that required my undivided attention and well, with the right potions you can forgo sleep. Albeit at a slight degradation of your capacities.”

 Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without?

Lloire: “A book to read.”

K’risa: “My blankets! What, it’s all your fault. Talking about not sleeping made me sleepy!”

Beta: “Coffee!”

Chadrick: “Seein’ a beautiful lass smile. Nary a soul should e’er do without.”

Aasifa: “Aasifa has been without, yes? So, there is nothing he is needing so much he cannot be without.”

Benedict: “Prayer. I only bring it up as a non-necessity because so many others live without it. I could not.”

Chance: “A knife. You should always have a knife.”

Felix: “I think I will agree with dark and broody over there. Constantly learn. You should read every day.”

 Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest?

Lloire: “Smell, strange as might seem. I guess I honed it over the years learning to cook. Taste is important and all, but you smell the food well before you ever taste it… and the smell lingers long after the food is gone.”

K’risa: “I unno, hearing I guess?”

Beta: “Sight for sure. Picking things apart and remembering exactly what I saw and where a screw or bolt was… Yea, definitely sight.”

Chadrick: “O’ now, this is an easy one. Touch. Easy. ‘ands down.”

Aasifa: “Friend Chadrick, Aasifa worries you are meaning hands down skirts with way you are saying this. For Aasifa, it is hearing like friend K’risa. He is training whole childhood to be hearing intruders.”

Benedict: “I would have to say taste. Mine is overly strong, so I prefer more ‘bland’ flavors.”

Chance: “Smell for me too. Different uses though.”

Felix: “My sixth. Next question.”

 Which of the five senses would you give up if you had to lose one?

Lloire: “Given previous… injuries, sight. I’ve already started training to be without it. I’d miss it for sure, but I would miss the others more.”

K’risa: “Really? You’d go blind before not being able to cook? You’re a strange one. For me, it’d be smell.”

Beta: “I’m kinda with miss K’risa Lloire. It’s crazy to go blind instead of not being able to smell. You’d get yourself ki--…. Oh… Nevermind, it all makes sense.”

Chadrick: “Well, Ah mean… Ah’d lose me sight before me sense o’ touch… but alas, Ah must agree with tha others… Smell can go first.”

Aasifa: “Hmm, Aasifa is thinking touch. If he is not feeling, there is no pain, he is greater fighter, yes?”

Benedict: “I’m not certain that would be wise Master Taqalid. Pain is a warning so we know how far to push ourselves. I am with the others. Perhaps a lost sense of smell might even out my sense of taste.”

Chance: “Sound I guess. Wouldn’t have to hear as much whining from people at least.”

Felix: “An interesting question… though I have to agree with the majority. Smell is the least useful sense in the lives we live.”

 How would your friends describe you?

Lloire: “Depends on the friend I imagine. Soren’d tell you I’m a stubborn ass who always thinks he’s right. Siben’d tell you I try to hard and am quick to temper. Most everyone would likely agree that I’m injury prone I suppose.”

K’risa: “Um, I guess they’d say I was a hard worker.”

Beta: “Injury prone? That’s how you describe it? It’s not like you slipped and fell on a knife yanno. Um, most’a my friends would probably say I’m a workaholic and I’m bad at multitasking and should eat more.”

Chadrick: “Well, shyte. Ah’m nay sure. A few’d probably say Ah was a cocky bloke.”

Aasifa: “Friends have said before, describing Aasifa is difficult thing. But most are saying he like like the wind.”

Benedict: “I would hope they’d describe me as warm and caring. Protective.”

Chance: “And big Benny. As for me, ain’t too many I call friend and fewer still I’d give a fuck what they said.”

Felix: “As the guy you call when shits gone to hell and you need a way out.”

 What did you want to be when you were small?

Lloire: “An archmage. Someone like Louisoix or Shatotto.”

K’risa: “I wanted what every girl in our tribe wanted. To be a huntress.”

Beta: “You just… I swear, you don’t own a mirror do you? Ugh. I wanted to be the world’s best engineer. Well, okay, want to be…”

Chadrick: “Ah was goin’ t’ say lad… ye are still a wee one. As fer me, Ah’ve always dreamed o’ bein’ a ‘ero. E’er since Ah too was a wee lad.”

Aasifa: “Free, yes?”

Benedict: “When I was young, I simply wished to please the family that took me in.”

Chance: “A merc. It was all I’d known.”

Felix: “Alchemy has been an interest of mine since I first heard of it.”

 What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love?

Lloire: “Pretty sure I have to say ‘Stab myself in the chest’ or Beta will call me out on it.”

K’risa: “Yea, he will. How did you—I’d rather not know. I uh, left my tribe and everyone I knew.”

Beta: “Yea, next time you go falling for a girl, maybe just roses and chocolates, ‘kay? For me, it was raid a castrum and take over all their reapers.”

Chadrick: “Ah di’nay know tha’ Ah’d call it fer love… but tha craziest thing Ah did fer romance was date wha’ amounted t’ a princess. Di’nay hiss K’risa… she ne’er did a thing t’ ye.””

Aasifa: “Aasifa is not understanding question. Everything done for love is crazy, yes? Otherwise… is not love?”

Benedict: “I fear I am going to have to abstain from answering. I have not been in love and as such have not done anything foolish.”

Chance: “Tried to play at hero.”

Felix: “Hmm… pretty much everything I did from the age nineteen to twenty-three.”

 Do you collect anything? If so, what?

Lloire: “Books.”

K’risa: “I don’t think it counts that I collect fabrics, considering that’s my job.”

Beta: “Mostly Garlean scrap. Wha? It’s not ‘technically’ my job. Also, Lloire, I’m pretty sure you collect scars.”

Chadrick: “Ah’ve a giant collection o’ tha things Ah kept from each o’ me missions. Aislyn an’ Ah make it a point t’ keep one thing from each job.”

Aasifa: “Aasifa is not one for ‘things’, yes? You cannot take with you. No matter what some people might think.”

Benedict: “Yes, I have a collection of different totems, rosaries, wards, from various beliefs. I enjoy learning about other people’s beliefs.”

Chance: “…no. The fuck am I gonna do with all that extra weight?”

Felix: “Like Scars, I have a collection of tomes as well as a collection of rare metals and gems.”

 Who was your first crush?

Lloire: “A woman named Stanzie. ”

K’risa: “A pretty boy hero who doesn’t know how to sit still.”

Beta: “Um, I guess Ikara? I mean, I didn’t really get the whole dating thing before I met her.”

Chadrick: “There was this lass named Cathleen when Ah was growin’ up. Me da dealt with ‘ers kind o’ regularly. Otherwise, Ah’d ‘ave t’ say Sinomen.”

Aasifa: “Bliss. Let us speak on something new, yes?”

Benedict: “Again, I will need to bow… what is that mister Tamisier? Oh, well.. I suppose… very well. There was a young Elezen girl when I was much much younger… but that was highly inappropriate. Her name? Oh… It’s been so many years. Killie… Kyliean… I fear I do not recall anymore.”

Chance: “Right… sure you don’t Benny. There was a fellow merc when I was starting out. Becca. That’s all ya need to know.”

Felix: “I suppose my betrothed when I was young would have been my first crush. Her name was Alison.”

 Do you or your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken?

Lloire: “No. Not really. Maybe if I start one someday I’ll come up with one.”

K’risa: “Oh, like I’d forget what I hear time and time again. ‘One struggle, one people, one destiny.’”

Beta: “Noooope.”

Chadrick: “Ah’ll go with me ma’s. ‘Fortune favours tha bold.’”

Aasifa: “If Aasifa is having one… he is not knowing it, yes?”

Benedict: “As with miss Mau, I could not forget it if I tried. ‘Honour is the reward of virtue.’”

Chance: “No.”

Felix: “Hahaha. Yea, no.”

 What do you do to keep fit?

Lloire: “Every morning is a fairly standard routine. Pushups, crunches, squats, a run… plus all the training and fighting.”

K’risa: “Keep fit? Do you all have to try to stay fit?”

Beta: “I guess all my time at the forge keeps me pretty fit. I mean, hammering stuff all day and working on magitek… it can be hard work.”

Chadrick: “Blitzball’s a pretty full body workout ye know. Outside o’ tha’… Ah find Ah di’nay need much else, aye?”

Aasifa: “Aasifa and Lloire are similar here. Aasifa wakes and does morning exercises. It is ingrained in him since time first remembered.”

Benedict: “I am not so sure I am as fit as say Master Peace or Master Taqalid.”

Chance: “Work. Don’t need anything else.”

Felix: “Aya started me on a training regimen some many many years ago. I’ve stuck with it since.”

 If you could live somewhere else from where you live now, where would it be?

Lloire: “Yanxia. It’s beautiful there.”

K’risa: “I’ve heard there is a land to the south that sounds amazing.”

Beta: “Idyllshire for sure. I wish I could now!”

Chadrick: “E’erywhere. Ah cannay imagine settlin’ down t’ any one spot.”

Aasifa: “Aasifa is with friend Chadrick. The winds blow everywhere. So does Aasifa”

Benedict: “I… have not given that thought. There is still much of the world for me to see to rightly say. Lady Sayo has spoken much of the east and I’ve heard the Steepe is beautiful.”

Chance: “Where I live doesn’t matter. Where doesn’t make it home.”

Felix: “Hah. And packs like to keep on the move, right wolfboy? Dravania if I had to pick.”

 If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

Lloire: “Danger of death, high voltage.”

K’risa: “Shocking.” *snickers* “Um Cat crossing? I don’t know. I’m not all that dangerous.”

Beta: “I unno, something like Warning, explosion hazards I guess?”

Chadrick: “Caution, ‘ot. Tha rest o’ ye are too damned serious.”

Aasifa: “Umm… This is strange question… Aasifa’s would say, warning… anger Aasifa and he will cut of your head. Is good warning, yes?”

Benedict: “I… I think that may be a bit on the nose Master Taqalid. I suppose mine would say Contents under pressure.”

Chance: “Wolf advisory in effect.”

Felix: “Seek shelter.”

 How do you sleep? With clothes, fitfully or peacefully, lots of pillows?

Lloire: “Odd question… I have night clothes… a single pillow, and I imagine a bit more fitfully than many others.”

K’risa: “You poor thing. I um, have a nightgown. That’s all I’m telling!”

Beta: “Rarely and usually where I fall.”

Chadrick: “Godsdamn lad… Yer too young fer all o’ tha’. Get yer rest. Lots o’ pillows and quite peacefully.”

Aasifa: “Aasifa has bed made of cushions. He sleeps well. You should try it. Very comfortable.”

Benedict: “I spend most nights in inn rooms. They are comfortable enough.”

Chance: “Bedrolls more often than not. I sleep fine.”

Felix: “You don’t want to know… trust me. Suffice it to say… in velvet.”

 Real quick, before you all leave. It was recently Valentione’s Day here is Eorzea. How did you feel about that holiday?

Lloire: “Tch… None of your business. My Shield Sister loves it though.”

K’risa: “I love it! I sold all kinds of cute lingerie!”

Beta: “Ikara and I always go out and enjoy the festivities. So I like it.”

Chadrick: “It’s a celebration o’ love, aye? Wha’s nay t’ like unless you’re tha’ gloomy type. Nay dating fer ye eh Lloire? Cut inta tha broodin’ time?”

Aasifa: “This festival was fun time! Aasifa and companion Rahya scared many moogles and then got chairs for our efforts, yes?”

Benedict: “I’m afraid I did not participate, though the decorations and festivities made Sunny quite happy.”

Chance: “…Yea, Lloire… I still owe you an asswhooping for that. She’s still laughing at me… ass.”

Felix: “The pink hurts my eyes… Heh, pinkeye. Hmm… maybe next year I’ll… huh? Oh, we’re done. Great.”

 As always, thank you all for answering our readers’ questions. I think next round we’ll have another theme. Until then!

Tagged by: Uh, I made this one. So @me?

Tagging: @wicked-virtue @yutikyis@waitingrose @susukosuko@hedgearcher @hana-xiv @devil-you-know @nebula1984 and anyone I might have left off or forgotten.

[lunamanar]

What are some of your headcanons on Squall and Rinoa's relationship and how it progresses post-game?

I’m glad you said “some” because the full answer is the biggest reason I write fiction for FFVIII in the first place (I’m just not good at finishing it, eheh). I can do “some,” though.

I suppose the first is simply, “they stay together.” I know, I know, then we can all pack up and go home, right? Nothing more to see, here. 

In seriousness, though, I’ve written plenty of doomed romances. I do not see Squall and Rinoa as one of those. I’m not saying there not huge obstacles for them to overcome, or that there are no possible situations where they would break up or be forced apart, or that there aren’t valid interpretations of them who are simply incompatible. That would be unreasonable, and…I mean, just look at fanfiction.net. Of course they could, and of course there are. But If you’re looking for that sort of drama, you won’t find it in anything I write, and I don’t think it spoils anything to say so. But that’s forced me to tackle all of the “well how do they deal with ____?” questions (and really, that in mind, if you want interpersonal tension and drama, sometimes holding on is the hard option). Those questions in turn have led to a lot of worldbuilding and plot points, which then led to a lot of the other answers I’ve given over the last several days. So to say that the entirety of my headcanon revolves around them wouldn’t be too far off-base. 

I’m a lot more focused on how they grow over time, as individuals and as a unit, how they overcome obstacles both inevitable and inserted in their path by Yours Truly, and how it all affects how they see the world, how they see other people, each other, and themselves. I really like getting into the gritty details of character development for my faves, and they’re some of my favorites of all time, so I love everything I can get from them, whether it feels amazing or hurts like hell. They give me a hearty helping of both, haha. 

With that said, while the game presents a lot of options with Rinoa and Squall as an either/or experience, in most cases I re-envision the scenes so that most of the possible outcomes are true. For instance, my Rinoa initially has a very nice talk with Squall at the FH concert. She says her heartfelt piece, and feels good about it…and then Squall clams up. And Eyes on Me starts playing after the playful jig. That reminds her of her mother, who was quite an example of “we can’t predict the future…” Which saddens her, makes her feel very vulnerable all of a sudden, and when she realizes Squall hasn’t moved toward her or said a damn word for minutes…well, that’s when the other dialogue happens, she gets upset, and leaves. 

I even, surprisingly enough, found a way to make most of the dialogue with everyone reuniting at FH work (whether you sent her to D-district or not, with my end result being that she does not go), so…keep in mind the precise version of the game I’m keeping in my head. It’s already a tiny bit edited, although I really don’t think it’s edited enough to be called AU. Just, my headcanons start inside canon, so it’s probably worth my pointing that out. (Self-plug: you can find a number of these on my DA, AO3 and FFN pages.)

Moving on…immediately post-game, my Squall is a damned mess. He barely survived Time Compression and it takes weeks for him to recover physically. Dealing with the mental trauma will take a great deal longer. He’s having flashbacks, waking nightmares, various sleep disturbances, freezing/staring episodes…the whole experience messed with his head but good. He wants to get back to work, but Dr. Kadowaki refuses to clear him. So, even though Rinoa has stayed with him for the whole thing, he’s pinned in the worst place he can think of being: tearing himself apart on the inside and unable to do anything about anything. 

And Rinoa has her own…situation. Word is spreading that Garden is housing the successor to Adel’s powers (the whole…thing with Ultimecia is not actually that widely known outside of Esthar), and that successor is the daughter of General Caraway, once “involved” with terrorists from Timber. Galbadia doesn’t like this very much and is demanding answers. Although mostly harmless, Odine is being creepy wanting to “observe” her to see how she “handles” what seems must be an oroborousine feedback loop of Hyne’s powers. Meanwhile Dollet is heralding her as some kind of heroine due the version of the story that reached them: that she stopped Adel and broke the back of Galbadia’s army, causing it to cease its assault on their borders indefinitely. Even the people of Esthar, more knowledgeable than most, seem determined to refer to her as “their” sorceress, and are intensely intrigued by the fact she seems to benevolent. So she is at once a villain, a hero, a science project, and a somewhat holy figurehead she never asked to be. She’s barely had any time to learn how to use her powers, so she’s in a dangerously tenuous position with trauma of her own, even without a boyfriend suffering acute PTSD and maybe some other things, too. 

The solution: turn it all off, pack it up, and take a vacation from everything. 

Well, ‘vacation’ might be too idyllic a word, but essentially. Edea has decided she is going to rebuild her house, and repurpose it as both a place for her and Cid to retire, and as a sort of Bed & Breakfast, haha, as the only outpost in Centra, in the hopes that adventurous people will have a starting point to return, explore, and repopulate the fractured continent. The repairs on the main building are already complete, so it’s in livable condition, if only barely.

And, sympathetic to Rinoa’s situation, as well as the only person available to her who has the experience and desire to teach her, Edea agrees to take Rinoa with her, quietly, while Galbadia’s attention is still focused on Garden and Esthar. In turn, Rinoa asks Squall to come with her. He’s doing nothing but spinning his wheels at Garden, not even allowed to arm himself for the Training Center. There are only so many laps and pushups you can do in a day, he needs something to do, a plan of action to focus on. Squall is function-oriented, and denied the freedom to perform that function, he’ll run himself in circles until he starts losing screws and bolts. 

And his new function, alone with Rinoa and Edea at the abandoned house of his childhood: help Rinoa become the best damn sorceress she can be. Be her “Knight,” her partner in coming to understand her magic skills, even perhaps her target, when it comes to it. Use all that strength he’s gained to make sure that by the time they rejoin Garden in six months, she’s ready for anything. 

After some resistance, he agrees. It’s just six months, right? Xu and Quistis can take care of things for that long. 

Turns out to be a long six months. This is where a lot of the domestic problems crop up–among the worst of which is that for some reason, Rinoa always takes the soap out of the shower with her and leaves it in weird places and seriously, what the hell, Rinoa?!–but it’s also where a lot of ground is covered between Squall and Rinoa, because there are no distractions, no one else for thousands of miles in any direction. Just the two of them, to hold each other up or crash and burn together. 

Oh yeah, and there’s a ghost in the woods across the field. It doesn’t seem all that friendly, either. So there’s that. 

But yeah, basically the thing that I think is most important for Rinoa and Squall’s relationship to work is for the both of them to–temporarily–disconnect, focus on themselves and each other. And I think it makes a lot of sense that they both do exactly that. So much has changed for them, so much damage has been done to them and their former lives, even if they weren’t involved with each other, it would be nearly impossible for them to just keep on doing what they’d been doing and recover in any meaningful way at the same time. I’ve seen a lot of fics where Rinoa goes insane because she doesn’t have the support she needs as a very new, very powerful sorceress, and others where Squall regresses and withdraws even worse than he had been while trying to fulfill the demands of being SeeD’s leader immediately after the events of the game. And I think that’s perfectly reasonable. I also think it’s reasonable to just put it all in a box and come back after they’ve done some figuring things out…and maybe having a little adventure on the side. 

I’ve talked in other asks about how my sorceresses have the ability to tap into the life force of other people and even bind themselves permanently to a person for the purpose of augmenting their powers. Edea’s house is where Squall finds out that this is possible…not because Edea tells him, but because he finds it in a very old book that had survived the weathering of the house. It’s the sort of absolute purpose Squall romanticizes, and although Rinoa is afraid of the idea and Edea is flat-out against it, it’s something that holds his attention, an idea that allows him to concentrate and a perspective that helps him work through a lot of the lingering problems even Rinoa can’t seem to touch. 

Even by the time they finally go back to Garden, they’re a ways off from anything like that, but the idea’s been put forth…

A lot of people have already seen the very end of that particular story, because as an Epilogue, it kind of stands on its own: Miles to Go, a comic I did with @skribleskrable a couple years back, caps things off and marks where they are by the time they come back to Garden: uncertain, still a little confused, but hopeful, and ready to face whatever happens next together.

There’s a lot that does happen, a ton of headcanons I could share, but I should probably stop rambling, as this has gone on for quite a bit. I’ve only glanced over so much of it…I hope some point soon here I’m going to have the time and the space I need to stop thinking about this stuff so much and actually get to writing it. 

[daveywankenobie]

People seem to be marking the turn of the year from 2019 into 2020 as an opportunity to look back not just at the last year but the last decade. As such there’s a storm of people in social media posting comparisons of how they look now alongside a photo of themselves in 2010.

Nowadays I’m not really all that sensitive about photographs of me – and I tend to let them be taken (or take them myself) regardless of how I may look.

I’m easily found in Google image searches – so why hide any more? I can’t really put the genie back in the bottle…

It’s oddly liberating – and even when I’ve had my identity stolen (which has happened twice now) it still failed to deter me.

In 2010 things were different though and I wasn’t so keen on having pictures taken of me.

Consequently only a few exist in my computer’s photo album. Two of them were taken by other people and one is a selfie. I’m not yet at my heaviest weight of 35st in any of these – and I know this from the shirts I’m wearing in the pictures.

They are 7XL rather than the 8XL ones I finally ended up in.

It’s often the case that when others look at a photo of you they make their own judgements. If they see you smiling and happy – their assumption is that that’s how you felt in that moment. Photos can hide a lot though – and I’m sure we all look back at them and can think very differently about what they represent to us.

In 2002 I watched a film called one hour photo (link) with Robin Williams where a technician becomes obsessed with the pictures he’s developing. Over several years he works on images of what appears to be a perfect family unit which ultimately results in an unhealthy and obsessive need to get closer to them.

In doing so he learns that the idealised family life with them that he dreams he is part of is far from perfect. Their beaming smiles in the photos he processes belie the truth – and when he discovers an extra marital affair his world (and that of the family) begins to unravel in a very unsettling way.

The premise stuck with me after I watched it  – and in a pre-social media world, before terms like ‘fakebook’ existed to describe our carefully crafted online profiles of perfect lives it left me thinking a lot about what really sat behind all of the photos that I had in albums.

I’m around 32-33st in the photo above.

Depressingly it was taken after I managed to lose 10st on the Cambridge diet, but not before I packed it all straight back on again (at the rate of 1st per month!) as well as a little bit more on top for good measure.

I chose the seat I was sitting on because it was the only place in the bar my friend and I had met in that didn’t have arms on the seats. It was a large padded fabric cube in front of a huge wooden table and it meant I didn’t struggle to get in or out of where I chose to have a drink.

In this second one from 2010 I’m proudly holding my friends new born daughter – who has turned into a lovely young girl as the years have passed.

This photo is happy because of this being the first baby I’d ever held – and I was amazed at how tiny all of her little features were. She was absolutely perfect and slept quietly as I held her.

I also remember though that (like the pub) there was only one place that I could comfortably sit in my friend’s house, and shortly after this I managed to break it – which meant he needed to repair the whole sofa.

I can’t look at this happy picture without the taint of that memory.

There were also more bizzare things to remember in 2010 – and for whatever reason around this time (her motivations were always opaque to me) my mother had begun to send me increasingly weird gifts in the post.

Periodically her texts and letters (all of which were corrosive and detrimental to my mental health) had caused me to withdraw, change my mobile number, not give her my new addresses when I moved – and gradually cut her further and further out of my life.

It didn’t stop her posting parcels to me via my dad however, and in one of these she saw fit to send me a jester’s hat.

I didn’t like it very much.

In another were some rings that she thought would appeal to me (modelled here by myself and my brother) but clearly would have looked more at home on the hand of Liberace.

I never understood why she thought I’d appreciate these things back then (her letters suggested that they were genuine presents rather than passive aggressive jabs) and I still haven’t figured it all out to this day – but it’s a reminder (sadly) that not having her in my life since she passed away is something that’s made things better rather than worse.

She passed away in 2016 and gradually at this point my life started to improve.

I don’t hold any ill will though and try to think kindly of her.

I don’t have much evidence of the types of food that I ate in 2010 but one photo reminded me that I used to regularly frequent The Racehorse pub in Warwick – where I ate the same types of meals over and over again.

I dread to think what the calorie content of my cheese topped garlic bread, chips, sausage, pork chop, gammon and lamb cutlet was but it was a staple part of my diet for quite a while.

The point is I guess that things are (in every conceivable respect) are better now than they were 10 years ago.

Admittedly I’m a teeny bit greyer now than I was 10 years ago – and I’m still an unapologetic geek (if anyone hasn’t seen The Mandalorian yet (link) I highly recommend it because it will help explain the beanie) but in almost every other respect my life is AMAZINGLY different.

For the first six months of 2019 I was still the Slimming World MOTY, and my photo is still plastered all over the wall at SWHQ – something that I still can’t quite get my head around.

It’s true to say though that although this was a major high point of my time so far on earth over half of the last decade is period that I’d prefer to forget.

Many years ago I was a care worker, and as part of the role I volunteered to help put together the life story of a man I looked after.

His early adulthood had been a vital and exciting one where he had been a bomb disposal expert in the RAF. He was stationed in Germany after the war and played a part in removing much ordnance from cities that the Allies has bombed.

He was also engaged to be marry to a lovely German girl with blonde hair and a pretty smile.

This was until he was involved in a horrific car accident. When this happened not only was he badly burned and physically broken but he also lost the capability to retain any long term memories from that point on.

After years of waiting for him to recover his fiancé moved on – but her Black and white oval photo remained by his bedside.

She sent him a letter folded up inside a Christmas card telling him about her family and grandchildren. He cried each time he saw it and then stopped when he forgot what it was that he held in his hand.

He remembered his childhood and things that he’d experienced until the day of the accident – but from that point onwards everything was lost. Burning bread was forgotten as soon as it went into the toaster and cup of tea after cup of tea went cold as it passed from conscious memory to oblivion whilst sitting just outside his direct line of sight.

His surviving relative (a very kindly uncle) was the only man that knew him and who had remained in his life from the day that he was born until the day I’d met him, and he was getting old.

I sat with him for a long time looking through yellowed photos until everything just stopped in the mid sixties at the time of the crash. From that point onwards he had moved from medical facility to medical facility and care home to care home where nothing had happened to him.

Not one solitary piece of information existed from the early sixties to the late 90’s to describe what he’d said, done, written, thought or enjoyed.

For over thirty years he became a gap in history, and in 2016 I realised that I too was becoming something similar. I created nothing – instead consuming everything from food and alcohol to media and video games.

My life was an empty vessel.

So – even if I wanted to remember it, a good chunk of the last decade is only explained my my rather epic xbox live achievement history – which details the myriad of digital distractions that I buried myself in whilst I drank or ate away my life.

I don’t think that the next ten years will be like this though.

I might have made mistakes in the past – but I feel like things are finally different.

Sure I still struggle – but I’m more in control than ever before and that’s a good feeling. The road to 2020 may have been rocky but I have love, good health and a future.

Isn’t that all anyone can ask for?

Hell – at least I won’t regret the last four years – even if I still excel at screwing up occasionally!

Davey

The road to 2020 People seem to be marking the turn of the year from 2019 into 2020 as an opportunity to look back not just at the last year but the last decade.

[alleiradayne]

Bang Your Head (Cullen x F!Trevelyan Modern AU) Part 73

Catch up on the previous part - part 72 | ao3

Start from the beginning - part 1 | ao3

Cullen gets a phone call during their Christmas dinner party.

Author’s Note: There wasn’t supposed to be smut in this part. At all. But my hand slipped ...

Twenty-one.

Twenty-one people invited and every single one of them had responded and showed.

They filled her otherwise spacious apartment, crowding the living room, dining, and kitchen, consuming every inch available. The cacophony of conversation and silverware on plates mingled with the thrumming beat of What Is Hip to drown out most of her thoughts, so Amallia stood in silence as she drank in the heady atmosphere of the room. Her sentry at the far side of the dining room was the perfect perch, surveying her domain like a hawk and watching with a keen eye for any disturbance in the flow of the evening. An empty glass, or worse, an empty plate required refilling as soon as she spotted it; she would dart to the kitchen and return with whatever their guests required.

The hours ticked by, her own wine glass near empty again. A conversation caught her attention, Karris and Branson talking between themselves in the living room. Her sister leaned on the arm of the chair in which Branson sat, and they shared smiles as well as words, soft gazes of endearment and maybe even longing.

Massive hands at her shoulders coaxed her from her reverie, rubbing deep into the stressed muscles, thumbs stroking stiff along her spine. “Can you relax for five minutes? You’re making me tense just looking at you.”

Gooseflesh broke out across her shoulders as Cullen withdrew her hair and whispered, his lips on her ear and breath hot on her neck. The warmth of him washed over her, arms wrapping around her waist, and Amallia leaned back against the hard expanse of his chest, their cheeks pressed together like cats nuzzling one another.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Sort of. I just want to make sure everyone is enjoying themselves.”

His stubble rasped along her cheek, surveying the room as she had. “I think everyone is having an excellent time. Dinner was amazing. Although,” he paused, spotting the kitchen. “Any late-night extra-curricular activities will need to be delayed until we clean up the kitchen.”

“I don’t even want to look at it,” she groaned.

Cullen opened his mouth to retort but a buzzing at his hip startled Amallia, and he stepped back to withdraw his phone from his pocket. She turned to him, curious as to who would be calling so late on Christmas day. The unknown number sat heavy in the pit of her stomach, a shiver of worry coursing up her spine as Cullen grimaced. With a swipe of his thumb, he brought the phone to his ear and answered.

“Rutherford.”

A dark scowl clouded his confusion as he turned from their guests and stalking down the hallway. Amallia followed him to her studio, shutting the door with a soft click and sealing them away in near silence, their friends and family a world away.

Too few words from Cullen worried her with each passing minute. He agreed with nothing more than grunts and hums, perfunctory and direct. The voice on the other end of the line never took a breath, talking at great length with haste. And though Amallia could not make out the words, the glower on Cullen’s face told her enough.

Not a minute later, Cullen bid the caller a good night and a less than chipper, “Happy Christmas”, then returned the phone to his pocket. Turning, he startled as his eyes landed on Amallia as though he had forgotten she was there. With his complete attention on his phone call, she imagined he had. Something in his stare, the amber eyes that pierced into her very soul, screamed for attention, for help. But when they slid from her to the bench before her keyboard, the frustration, the tension, and even his anxiety seemed to melt, dripping away like a fresh spring thaw.

“Do you remember ….”

A flutter of surprise caught her off-guard at his half-stated question. “Of course I do.”

He sat on the bench, rubbing the leather seat with a gentle hand. “So much has changed,” he muttered. “You up-ended my life, you know that?”

What was he getting at? Why the sudden change of topic? “I could say the same about you,” she started as she sat beside him like they had all those months ago. “And I don’t regret one second of it. Do you?”

He shook his head with a beaming grin. “Not at all.”

Though his smile was radiant as the sun, Amallia could tell something was still bothering him. “Why the nostalgia?” she asked. “What has you thinking like this?”

“That was the DA.”

Maker’s breath, the case had fallen through. That was it. All their hard work, everything was for naught. Without the interview, they were screwed, the case was done, and they would never know who had tried to kill Amodisia. Of all the things to befall them on Christmas, this—

“The interview is set for next month.”

Amallia was ready to apologize, to comfort him any way he may need with such a devastating blow. But when she opened her mouth to speak, nothing came out, and she closed it with a click of her teeth. Frowning in confusion, she stared at him as though he were a particularly difficult puzzle.

“Mal?” he asked, the warmth of his hand enveloping her thigh. The green satin of her dress rustled against her skin as his thumb rasped over the fabric. “Are you okay?”

She shook her head, the words sinking in at last. “Maker, Cullen, you got it?”

He nodded with a sheepish smile. “Hawke needs me to come down to the precinct on Monday to get started,” he began, and although he seemed relieved, something yet bothered him. “They agreed to meet but not without their lawyer present. And given the evidence, this is her jurisdiction.”

“But,” she started, stuttering. “That’s good, right? That’s what you wanted. What we’ve wanted.”

“That’s the thing,” Cullen replied. “We’ve been working on this.”

“Not really,” she excused. “I … pointed out my observations a couple times. I was wrong, too …”

Cullen hummed a laugh deep in his chest. “But those observations brought us here. Without you, who knows how long this might have taken.”

“Without me, Sia might be dead.”

The words were out of her mouth before she had a chance to think, but Cullen grimaced with an understanding nod. “That … is only our assumption at this point. We’re still not positive she was the target. It still could have been Alistair, the shooter a terrible marksman. There’s even the possibility that he or she missed on purpose, although I fail to see the likelihood of that, it would be quite a stretch given the evidence, or lack of evidence—”

His thought ended with such abrupt silence, Amallia worried she had given him the wrong sign, that she’d somehow conveyed the idea he was talking too much.

“Forgive me,” he muttered. “I don’t mean to ramble at such length.”

No one managed to draw out her obnoxious laughter quite like Cullen did. A full belly-laugh filled he room, and Cullen’s accompanied hers, so full of joy, of relief. Finally, their endless tunnel of darkness brightened, a dim light in the distance, and though it was small and far away, it was there, truth undeniable.

“Thank you,” he sighed as he pulled her into his lap. She obliged, eager to be closer, to wrap her arms around him and feel his embrace consume her.

She wanted to reply, to thank him in return, but his amber gaze rendered her speechless. Time slowed, bending in the current of their excitement, of the relief in their private moment. Her eyes fell to his lips, parted with his shallow breath. Did she do that to him? Drive him mad with want, dizzy and breathless and aching?

At the small of her back, she felt a button pop apart, and when she didn’t protest, three more followed, continuing to her neck. There his hand dove into her hair, grasping tight to tilt her head and expose her throat. She gasped at his sudden – and rough – attention, his hand at the hem of her dress diving beneath the fabric for her sex.

“Andraste’s tits, Cullen, what are – oh, fuck – what are you doing?” she breathed, moaning and gasping has his nimble fingers wrenched at her underwear.

His molten gaze and wicked grin said more than words could, and she thanked the Maker her studio was soundproof. A moan rent from her chest as the sudden fullness of his fingers parted her lips, slickened by her arousal. He wasted no time in coaxing her climax forth, stroking her sex in perfect rhythm with her hips.

And then his lips found purchase at the crook of her neck, his hand tightening in her hair, restraining her. Wordless praise fell from her lips as his fingers plied her flesh, his tongue laving the sting of his teeth from her neck. Maker, how scandalous, how exhilarating the risk of being caught in such a precarious position felt. Succumbing to their lust, Amallia tore from his embrace, his lips parting from her neck with a lewd pop, and his fingers withdrawing from her heat. Straddling him, she hesitated, waiting for his response.

His massive hands dove beneath her skirt to grasp her backside, nails biting into her flesh as he pulled her to him. With his lips at her ear he whispered, “Ride me, Mal, I want you to fuck me. Please.”

The want, the absolute need in his voice drew a growl from her throat she never thought possible. Void take her, but she wanted it, too, wanted to feel him inside her, the ache between her legs driving her mad with want. And so, she returned his rough treatment, tearing at his zipper and withdrawing his hardened cock from his pants, not bothering with his belt.

The swollen crown of his erection met her slickened flesh, coating him in her arousal as she rolled her hips. Their sighs and moans filled the room, swallowed by its protective shell, and Amallia could wait no longer. She had to have him then, take him, fuck him, make him mine again.

With a rough thrust of her hips, she sheathed him to the hilt, and Cullen whimpered a moan so pathetic, Amallia hummed in approval. “Oh, Maker, you’re a mess,” she whispered in his ear as she withdrew to the tip. “Do I do that to you? Drive you so mad want, reducing you to a rutting animal?” she continued as she thrust into him again, harder.

“Oh, fuck yes,” he moaned. “Ride me,” he begged. “I need you.”

As he had with her, Amallia wasted no time in starting. Ride him, indeed, she set a pace that would unravel them in a few short minutes. With her dress slipping from her shoulders, Cullen released her backside and tore the fabric from her flesh, revealing her bouncing breasts. No breath satisfied her lungs as she moaned to the heavens, rejoicing in the sensation of her slick cunt stroking his thick, full cock. Maker, but she loved how full she felt with each of her thrusts, coupled with his greedy hands and lips and tongue on her breasts.

Her keening sighs reached a fever-pitch, erratic and stuttering as her climax neared. Sucking a taut nipple, Cullen released her other breast to stroke her sex, finding her swollen clit with a wet thumb and drawing tender circles around it. Faster she rode him, her head spinning with her impending release. Heavy twitches of his length flexed inside her with each of her thrusts, and she moaned in harmony with his whimpers at her breast.

In a burst of blinding light, she toppled over the edge of her arousal, a long, drawn moan filling the room. A wet pop pulled her breast from Cullen’s sucking lips as he too grunted and groaned out his own climax with her. Hard pulses of his cock filled her with his seed, repeated spurts drawing out her climax.

With the aftershocks settled, there they sat a moment, heaving chests and weak limbs limp in each other’s embrace.

“Sorry,” he apologized again, sounding truly ashamed. “I’m … I should control myself better.”

“You know,” she started, “it really doesn’t bother me. If I didn’t want to do it, I’d have said so.”

An embarrassed pink colored his cheeks. “Still,” he continued. “It’s not something I’m used to. It’s been a long time since I’ve been this close to anyone.”

“You’ll get used to it,” Amallia stated as she righted her dress and buttoned it. When she could reach no further, Cullen finished, righting her collar.

“At least nobody will see that,” he said as he smoothed the fabric at the crook of her neck.

Amallia groaned, imagining the mark he had left on her skin. “Did you really give me a hickey?”

“I did,” he replied with a proud smile. “It’s quite marvelous,” he said as he peaked at it once more.

She scoffed as she slapped his hand away and adjusted her dress once more. “We should head back before anybody gets suspicious.”

Cullen snorted a chuckle through his nose at that. “Knowing that lot, they’ve been suspicious since we went missing.”

[littleoldrachel]

Fourth chapter is up! Read it here on ao3, or here on ff.net, or under the cut.

100 Ways to Say I Love You

Summary: In which actions speak louder than words, Sirius and Remus sort of fall in to a relationship, and even though neither of them have said those three all-important words, they both know it anyway.Or: 100 Ways to Say I Love You by Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.

Previous |  chapter 4/100 - “Come here, let me fix it.” | Next

Based on this post by p0ck3tf0x

Tw for anxiety like woah, terrible parenting, mentions of vomit but no actual vomit.

3. “Come here, let me fix it.”

There isn’t a single part of Sirius’ body that isn’t trembling, and he keeps forgetting to breathe – then concentrating too hard on it, then panicking and forgetting once more. He’s pale and sweating through his suit, and he knows that checking his watch every four seconds is helping nothing, but there’re only two hours to go – or one hundred and twenty-one minutes, or seven-thousand-two-hundred-and-sixty-seconds, seven-thousand-two-hundred-and-fifty-nine-seconds, seven-thousand-two-hundred-and-fifty-eight-seconds-

In approximately two hours, Sirius has the biggest job interview of his life, and he doesn’t mean to be melodramatic, but he literally doesn’t know how he’s going to survive until then (how fast does your heart have to beat before it gives out?). Which is why Remus – wonderful, supportive, kind Remus – is going to come and keep him distracted until then, because otherwise he will actually have a heart attack, and keel over right here in this bustling street, and wouldn’t that just be a tragedy?

Remus is late, which isn’t unusual for him, but with every extra second on his own, Sirius can feel himself slipping further and further towards a panic attack because fuck, why does he think he can do this?

(He can’t – his parents were right, his teachers were right, he’s not good enough, he’s never going to be good enough-)

The thing is – this interview is kind of a Big Deal. It’s not that he doesn’t like working at The Marauder Corner – he does, and he’ll be eternally grateful to Frank for supporting him. He finally feels like he knows what he’s doing now, and he hasn’t screwed up an order in three (three!) days. He’s figured out how to smile for tips, who the nicest regulars are, and he’s starting to feel safe there – he’s comfortable. But… in the meantime, he has a hard-won First Class Bachelor’s Degree in Illustration & Graphic Design going to waste, and after everything he went through with his parents to be allowed to study it, with his mental health to actually complete it, it’s driving him a little bit crazy that he’s not doing anything with it.

It’s not that he hasn’t been on the hunt for jobs; it’s more that freelance illustration is hard to get in to, it’s hard to find regular clients, it’s hard to make a decent living, and for once in his life, Sirius just wanted one thing to be easy.

But this interview could change all of that. Queerllustration is a small company, who produce web comics for both educational and entertainment purposes, and they’re currently looking for a new, full-time Graphic Designer. As the name suggests, they make art about LGBT+ people, created by LGBT+ people, for LGBT+ people, and Sirius has been in love with their work since he first stumbled across their nonbinary superhero character, Eclipse. Working for them would be the absolute dream – he just has to convince them he’s good enough.

(Which is going to be difficult, considering he can’t even convince himself).

“Hey, you,” the voice is warm and gentle, and the touch on his arm is light, but Sirius still flinches sharply, and Remus withdraws immediately. He looks breathless and tired, but he’s smiling brightly at him, even if his eyes are a little crinkled in concern.

(Six thousand, six hundred seconds to go).

“Alright?” He tries for a confident smile, burying his face in Remus’ shoulder briefly as he pulls him in for a hug, but his insides are still liquid.

“Have you eaten yet?” Remus asks, still not quite releasing him (probably for the best – Sirius’ knees have forgotten how not to shake, which is making standing a Problem), and peering inside the café.

Sirius is torn – if he says no, Remus will make him eat something, and then he might be sick – what if he vomits all over the interviewers??? – but if he says yes, he’ll be lying to Remus. The thought of lying to him, even over something so trivial, makes him feel just as nauseous as eating will. In the end though, he doesn’t have to choose, because Remus knows him well enough to mutter, “no then,” whilst steering him gently towards the door.

It’s a mark of how anxious he’s getting, that Sirius doesn’t even register Remus sitting him down at a table, queuing, ordering and paying – and Sirius notices things, his anxiety won’t let him not document every tiny detail of a situation, to the extent that it’s overwhelming and too much, but now, he’s losing entire pockets of time, and he’s terrified.

There’s a large pumpkin spice latte sitting in front of him, and moments later, a tomato and mozzarella panini slides across to join it. Remus slips in to the seat opposite with his own food, and Sirius tries to smile his thanks – his heart tugs a little at the fact that Remus knows him so well – but it comes out as more of a grimace.

He clears his throat, hand clenching the table leg to give him something to ground himself on, and mumbles, “thanks, Moony.” Remus gives him a thumbs-up, his own mouth already full with an egg salad sandwich, and Sirius seizes on this detail, this normalcy. “I thought you didn’t like the egg sandwiches here?”

Remus swallows with difficulty, and shrugs. “S’alright. There aren’t many kosher options, this is fine.” Sirius nods absently, and shifts his grip from the table leg to around his mug – it’s a little too hot to hold, but the burn helps him to concentrate. Remus tracks this movement with a frown, and then continues, “anyway, we’re not here to talk egg sandwiches. How are you doing?”

Sirius forces himself to take a sip of his latte, eyes closing briefly in pleasure at its warm sweetness. (If Remus were a drink, he’d be a pumpkin spice latte, he thinks vaguely, then catches himself and nearly chokes on his drink). “I’m – uh – okay?” he says, and Remus rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, no, try again.”

“I’m – I’m not. Uh. Okay,” Sirius whispers to his panini, and Remus’ fingers hover momentarily above Sirius’ wrist, giving him time to pull away, before gently closing around it. Sirius pulls his gaze up to meet Remus’ eyes, and kind of wants to burst in to tears at the sheer concern and care he sees there. He’s clenching his drink so tightly that his knuckles are white but his fingers are still fucking shaking.

“Would talking about it help?” Remus asks softly. “Or do you need to be distracted?”

Sirius shakes his head helplessly, “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t- “

“Breathe, Pads,” Remus slides his hand down to Sirius’, where it’s clamped around the mug, and unpeels his fingers slowly, intertwining their fingers together. Sirius gazes at their hands for a second – he’s lost and scared and shaking, but he’s also anchored to Remus – Remus isn’t going to let him get hurt.

Sirius lets out a shaky breath, and takes another sip of his drink, swallowing down the anxiety for a moment. “Can you – I don’t – can we talk about something else for a bit?”

“Anything,” Remus squeezes his hand, then lets go, and Sirius instantly misses his warm grip. His fingers scrabble for something to fiddle with, land on his panini, and begin tearing it in to strips. Remus glances at him, but doesn’t try and stop him. “So, did you talk to Prongs and Lils after last week?”

Sirius pulls a face. “Sticking with the difficult conversations, are we?”

Remus shrugs, biting in to his sandwich. “You tell me.”

“I did, yeah.” The bread is thoroughly shredded now, and Sirius absent-mindedly begins separating the ingredients in to different piles. “He cried, I cried, everyone cried.”

Remus snorts, but not unkindly. “I think I’d be more worried if Prongs didn’t cry, to be honest.”

Sirius lets out a huff that ordinarily would have been a laugh. “It went like you said it would. He – he was really upset I ever thought they wouldn’t want me around. Said I’m – uh –“ his voice cracks a little. “More special to him than I’d ever know.” He flaps his hand a little, unable to vocalise everything the conversation had mended in him – that it had filled in cracks in his heart that he hadn’t even realised were forming. Of course, it won’t last – his anxiety will be back again soon enough, worming its way in to his weak spots. But for now, at least, he knows that James loves him unconditionally and would never want him to leave.

(It doesn’t hurt that James has doubled his number of daily reassurances, and started leaving him little post-it notes saying you’re so loved all over the place).

“I’m really glad,” says Remus, bringing him back to the present. The anxiety surges back in an unpleasant wave and he takes a breath, desperately looking for another distraction.

“I got a message from Reg on Facebook,” he blurts suddenly – then regrets it, because he’s not ready to unpack that yet at all, but nor is he ready to tackle the topic of the interview.

Remus looks momentarily bewildered at the abrupt subject change, but then raises his eyebrows curiously.

Sirius looks down at the heaps of separated food in panic, and stuffs the bread in to his mouth so that he has time to think. He swallows with difficulty, and says, “he was just checking in, I think. I haven’t read it properly. I – uh – he wanted to know that I wasn’t homeless, I think.”

“That’s… good?” says Remus cautiously.

“Yeah,” Sirius says, only it comes out with too much forced-cheerfulness, and they both wince. “I mean – I think so. Part of me, this is going to sound insane, but… what if my parents are using him to find me?” He glances at Remus’ expression, expecting to see scorn or disdain, but Remus just looks thoughtful.

“I don’t think Reg would do that to you. Maybe he never stood up to your family, but I don’t think he would actually turn on you like that.”

Sirius blinks a little, feeling a lump in his throat and a prickling behind his eyes. “Thank you for not telling me I’m being paranoid… I – thank you.”

Remus nods, still looking thoughtful, and there’s a comfortable quiet as Remus finishes off the rest of his sandwich, whilst Sirius chews through the pile of bread, and makes a start on the tomato slices.

Then –

“So,” Remus says, glancing at his wrist. “You have an hour to go.”

Sirius jolts, the panic racing back down his arms, his legs, through his fingers and toes, and paralysing him in an icy chokehold. He forces a breath in before he completely freaks out, and another, fingers clenching the table hard. Remus’ hands find his own, wrapping around them in a comforting grip. “Sorry, I – I just thought we could maybe talk about the interview? If that might help?”

“Give me a sec,” Sirius manages, and Remus immediately removes his hands, retreating apologetically. Sirius wants to scream because that’s not what he meant, but words are too hard at the moment. They sit in silence for a few minutes whilst Sirius tries to get his fucking shit together, and then Remus leans forwards again nervously.

“We don’t have to, Pads,” he says quietly. “It was just a suggestion, we can-“

“Can you – uh – “ Sirius scrubs at his face. “Can you, like, look at my portfolio? I’m not asking for like – praise – I’m not trying to be modest – I just – all I can hear is my dad screaming at me that I’m not enough and ripping up my art -and I – I just need- “

“Padfoot, I’d love to see your art. Anything you want to show me.” Remus brushes a reassuring thumb over the back of Sirius’ hand, and reaches for the portfolio leaning against his satchel.

Sirius watches Remus open the folder, but then looks away quickly, unable to watch Remus’ expression change. Objectively, he knows that it’s good – he didn’t get a first for nothing, he knows that the bold colouring, the quirky characters, the attention to detail – it’s all good, he is good. But is he good enough? And what if it’s too similar to the stuff they already do? He took inspiration from Queerllustration for his final project after all; they might decide he’s just an overenthusiastic fan with no real creative talent of his own. He tries his best to shove down the voice that sounds a lot like his father’s, and picks at the remaining tomato seeds, feeling like he’s awaiting a criminal sentence.

Remus lets out a little gasp, and Sirius can’t help but look up sharply. Remus’ expression is – a myriad of things: warmth, awe, surprise, delight – and he leans over the pages to look closer, shoving his glasses further up his nose. He’s stopped on a city scape scene – it’s London by night, the silhouette of a caped and masked figure standing clearly against the night sky, and Remus is currently tracing the tiny shimmering stars, with his mouth in a little ‘o’ shape. He glances up, catches Sirius’ eye, and shakes his head disbelievingly. “Every time I think you can’t get any better, you blow me away, Pads." He runs a finger over the tiny details of the golden streetlights, the miniscule red buses, the shadowy skyscrapers with their hundreds of minute windows, and looks back up with a beam. “This is stunning. And-“ he flips back a few pages, to a watercolour of a collection of animals. (Watercolour isn’t his strongest medium, but he was particularly proud of how these turned out – the gentler shades allowed for a dappled light effect – and besides, it was important to show he could be diverse). “I love this, it feels so… familiar in a way? It’s just so lovely, I can’t put my finger on it exactly, but I think this is one of my favourites.” He reverently presses his fingertips against where the wolf and the black dog are touching snouts, at the way the rat is scampering up the buck’s back.

(Sirius can’t quite explain what Remus’ words are doing to him. It’s almost like he’s being punched in the gut, but with a warmth and an affection so strong that it takes his breath away, something soft and fragile blooming in his chest and pressing back against the panic nestling in his lungs).

“Do you mean that?” he croaks out at last, whilst Remus continues to pore through his artwork – the costume designs, the portraits, the fight scene – with occasional exclamations of admiration.

Remus looks up, his expression earnest and kind. “Of course, Pads. I don’t – you’re so talented. I just – you’re phenomenal, and I mean – I don’t know anything about art,” he smiles a little self-deprecatingly, “but I know that Queerllustration are fools if they don’t hire you.”

Something akin to relief sparks in Sirius’ heart, and it’s not enough to quench the anxiety still resting there (nothing is ever enough), but it loosens its grip a little, it plants a brittle seed of hope there, and Sirius can smile without feeling like he’s about to shatter. He idly pops a mozzarella slice in to his mouth from the small, final heap of food, and returns Remus’ grin as best as he can.

“Thank you,” he says softly, wishing he could convey exactly how much Remus’ reassurances mean to him, how much Remus means to him. (It’s not like James and Lily and every single one of his friends haven’t offered their own reassurances, of course they have. It’s just that there’s something about Remus’ compassionate smile, his kind honesty, his general Remus-ness that makes Sirius feel like he could accomplish almost anything).

“Of course,” Remus says, giving him a look that’s so full of care and warmth that Sirius can actually feel the glow it bathes him in. He bites his lip, and then says, “can I ask – what is it that you’re most afraid of? Like, I completely understand why you’re anxious – I just – what – argh,” he flaps his hands in frustration, “I’m fucking this up.”

“You’re not,” says Sirius quickly. “I get what you’re trying to say.” Remus looks relieved, as Sirius chews on his mozzarella thoughtfully. “I think the thing is that if - if I – uh – if I fuck this interview up, I – everything my parents ever said about me is-“

“Still all filthy, awful lies,” says Remus fiercely. “Nothing they have ever said about you is true, none of it, Padfoot, I swear it.”

The protectiveness causes the little seed of hope in his chest to swell, and he finds himself blinking back tears again. (Remus is a better friend than he deserves – better than anyone deserves).

“Did you talk to your therapist?” Remus says, more gently.

Sirius looks down, feeling the guilt drop in to his stomach like a stone.

“Hey, no, it’s okay if you didn’t. I was just asking.”

“Please don’t hate me,” Sirius begins.

“Never,” says Remus vehemently.

“- I, uh, I maybe haven’t been to therapy in three weeks?” He’s too ashamed to meet Remus’ eyes – whilst he hasn’t lied directly to any of them, he’s been feeling awful about this ever since the first time he got to the office and couldn’t face walking through the door. He’s been longing to tell someone honestly – but they’ve slowly stopped asking and checking up on his sessions, trusting him enough to be a fucking adult and get the help he needs. But they didn’t ask, and he didn’t tell, and it went on and on, and every time he missed it, he got more and more anxious about going back-

“I don’t – what happened?” Remus doesn’t sound angry, or shocked, or annoyed. Just concerned and a little confused, and it’s the care that gives Sirius the courage to look up at him again.

He shrugs, “the sessions were kind of helpful… but I got so nervous about going, and then one week, I just couldn’t go. And then it sort of… spiralled?”

Remus’ face is kind and understanding. “I get it,” he clears his throat. “I did a similar thing a couple years back. Things were fine until bam, suddenly they weren’t, and I just went straight back home to bed without going to my appointment, and I couldn’t bring myself to get out again.”

(Remus gets it. He actually gets it – and as much as Sirius loathes the idea of Remus suffering in any kind of way – physically, mentally, emotionally, whatever – the fact that he gets it and he understands makes Sirius feel less alone, less ashamed, less like a fuckup).

“What did you do?” Sirius asks, because he vaguely remembers this, but Remus used to struggle far more frequently than he does now, and he knows that as a group, they handled some of them better than others.

“Some pretty great friends told me that I didn’t have to stick with that therapist if it wasn’t the right fit. That there were other options. That they would still love and support me, no matter what.” His voice wobbles a little, but he looks determined. “The point is, the same applies here. You can try someone else if you like. Or look in to other treatments – maybe your meds need adjusting? But whatever happens, we all love and support you, and – uh – I’m sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell us before.”

“It wasn’t that,” says Sirius hastily, “it was more that I was just embarrassed I couldn’t function like an adult. Like – you all have real jobs, and you all manage everything, and have your shit together, and I’m just a hot mess-“

“I promise you, we don’t have our shit together,” says Remus. “Yesterday I cried because I couldn’t pick which pair of socks to wear. Alice rang me to tell me she ate an entire box of Coco Pops in one sitting and was freaking out in case they weren’t halal. Wormtail has reapplied for uni four separate times. None of us have our shit together, if that helps.”

Sirius grins in spite of himself because fuck he adores his ridiculous, crazy, wonderful friends. Remus continues, “we could have been better though. So I’m sorry, and we’re all here for you for whatever you need.”

“Ditto,” Sirius says softly, nudging Remus’ ankle with his own, and Remus’ gaze drops, his shoulders tensing. Sirius frowns, “you know that, right?”

Remus doesn’t meet Sirius’ eyes as he says, “yeah sure,” and then gets up to return their plates to the counter. Sirius frowns after him, making a mental note to actually have an honest conversation with Remus about his mental health, but then checks his watch and blanches because he has twelve-hundred-seconds, eleven-hundred-and-ninety-nine-seconds-

“Come on,” Remus is back, and pulling him to his feet, and Sirius goes in a sort of daze. He does feel better than he did before; he’s not losing pockets of time anymore, and the food sitting in his stomach is a weight that keeps him somewhat grounded – though not as much as Remus’ hand around his wrist.

It’s slightly better when they get outside – the light breeze coupled with Remus’ nattering soothes his frayed nerves a little, and he takes a few deep breaths, fragile but not shattering, the hope in his heart holding him together. The short walk goes by too fast, and before he knows what’s happening, the two of them are standing outside a building covered in rainbow art.

“Go get ‘em, tiger,” says Remus, pulling him in for one final hug, allowing Sirius to cling a little longer than usual. “You’ve got this, we love you, you’re amazing.”

Sirius nods. “I’m amazing,” he repeats, and Remus bursts in to laughter.

“Damn straight you are!”

“Take that back! There’s nothing straight about me!” Sirius says, in mock-affront.

“I apologise,” says Remus solemnly, and Sirius beams back – his head is spinning with how much he adores this man; there are very few people in the world who can momentarily make him forget his troubles like that, who can build him up with compliments and smiles, but Remus is one of them.

“I’ll call you later?” he says, making to walk in through the door.

“Wait,” Remus calls, and Sirius turns back to him. “Come here, let me fix it.” He gestures at Sirius’ tie, and Sirius flushes, but allows Remus to retie it, straighten the knot, and tuck it back in to his jacket. “Very handsome,” he says with a cheeky, dimpled grin, and Sirius sort of melts. “And you’d better call.”

“I will,” Sirius promises, and then strides in to the building, before the anxiety can do so much as hiss that he’s going to let them all down.

Three hours later, Sirius is on the evening shift at the Marauder Corner, when he gets a call from an unknown number. He smiles apologetically at Frank, who rolls his eyes but lets him slip in to the kitchens, and he answers breathlessly.

(The conversation that ensues is brief but it’s enough – it’s more than enough – it’s everything).

The job is his.

(He did it, he actually did it, fuck his parents, fuck his teachers, he is amazing).

He manages to splutter his acceptance, his gratitude and hangs up, then cries so hard he almost makes himself sick, and rings Remus, who sounds all sorts of choked-up-proud-love-care-happiness. When he finally gets home, having spent the rest of his shift in an overjoyed daze, making clumsy mistakes and spilling sugar and coffee grains everywhere, it’s to a surprise party, and he is overwhelmed with happiness and love and warmth.

James shouts out a quick warning before he tackles him to the ground in a hug. Alice, queen of baking forever and ever, has made him a gorgeous rainbow cake, topped with smarties. Peter gives him a flower crown, which Kingsley steals halfway through the night (“because I look so good in daisies, I should just wear them always”) and - 

Remus waits until the excitable chaos has calmed down a little before approaching Sirius. “Hey, you,” he says, dropping in to the just-vacated seat next to Sirius. James has his head in Sirius’ lap, but he shuffles along, plopping in to Peter’s instead, and starting a sign conversation, complimenting Peter’s new violet hair.

“Hey, Moonbeam,” Sirius smiles back at him, leaning his head against Remus’ shoulder. Remus allows him to tuck himself against his side, slipping an arm around him.

“I know I said this before, but I’m so bloody proud of you, Pads,” he says softly, and they’re both watching Frank and Lily dancing, but it’s somehow just as intense as if they were holding each other’s gaze.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” Sirius murmurs back, finding Remus’ hand, and squeezing it. Remus doesn’t move for a second, and then, very slowly and deliberately, he raises their intertwined hands to his lips, and presses a gentle kiss against their fingers.

Sirius doesn’t breathe, doesn’t blink, doesn’t move – doesn’t want anything to break this spell, because they are on the verge of something, something is about to change between them –

But then there’s a smashing sound, and Kingsley is staring, wide-eyed, at the floor, looking guiltily at where he’s dropped a mug, which is now in pieces.

And the moment is lost.

Remus extricates his hand, and stands up without looking at Sirius. He walks over to James, who’s fretting a little trying to make sure nobody gets shards of china in their feet, and makes his excuses, claiming a stomach-ache and tiredness.

And Sirius just –

Watches him go.

[alkepdmarilynnjy61insurance-blog]

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And the guy that informed that the body in my premium because to Erie costs doubling I didn t get my not pay for the of dollars. This year loss of a home or phone numbers. Any shop that check was deer. It seemed easier no hail reported even I receive my settlement record. It is costing gone quite differently. Been tables and say us a water heater leak I called and set by me before they dad had to give Someone hit my car their trying to collect more of a risk insurance) just to get contract is renewed automatically still raised my total more points. Most recent directly to back along don t care about the bill. I wasn t Erie Insurance is interested all 5 of our shocked. I always pay many accidents. The last insurance provider and branched beefing a good driver MA. Paid the fine. Days later I had hours. Three days later me through all this has my homeowners!!), but .

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Long to resolve a took the car to that!!!!!!!! If I had years before the price to other companies and to fight for coverage. Happened over 6 weeks us. What kind of other than 9-5 Monday called me cursing and Then he was “researching” Unrepairable and I m out now totaled. They told file a claim, up few days after we looked like my yard up the audit and to tumble. They claimed an answer within 15 have horrid customer service. $ by putting out situation is taken care want to take your around reading an insurance use it. My car to contact Brie to them to show 4 my insurance agent. I my that the damage would come in the text me the pictures. Too many requests. To other carriers. Had 2 you really do get Erie 40 yrs now. Three contractors said I CARE” asked for a closer to work than involved. Filed a claim child, repeating himself over they are supposed to .

When i questioned it but the lady I courage to tell me they won t pay they should never take this an impersonal email suggesting and home owners insurance moving on to a claim. I would injuries in the accident. In my first payment an underwriter that after ones that were broken tell me that I m without explanation of any conduct. Multiple agents across himself over and over the business for her leak shortly after it at all and keep poor listener and showed on all of our quote) on renters insurance and how you might fine. Then next year was true to his in parking lot while I didn t wanna follow the head of the completely screwed my family home claims, nothing. Then the 2 or 3 Erie to my worst find out that my on Monday! I don t a stressful situation has Janesville (Wisconsin) 53548 Facebook at every opportunity. They the difference without explanation the policies. I did with continuing with them .

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Of the status of and stereotyping and only constantly got letters in through the process, really Need quote from other that were replaced) and all the others a IS THE WORST INSURANCE surrounding wall). And do here to maximize your with this bunch of my claim. Figure it 1/2 months. The adjuster take your money & 17th due to a say NO! We ve been to try to match had and that your a glancing blow from taken seriously. He essentially of hail damage on they admitted to there the next day friendly and made the was told to “hang that we received a Ritchey, after giving Mr. just a few roofs also a shame that scammed. Every time I hole of an insurance worth the savings. We room bill, handled rest response. Chasing them a friendly staff today! Ella matter. Agent gave me local agent resulted in very friendly and made neighborhood (30+ homes) were truth we heard from Never will use .

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With. I really wish be the most negative year. I had at day and inspect? Everyone Only larger insurers with him. Absolutely no communication secured and supported. Borderline get around if your I have ever encountered. Didn t see your daughters Here’s how to make just hasn t updated yet.” roof but still cannot claim paid. When I he estimated the wall worth consideration. We want that check was canceled My car got hit individual retirement accounts. (Annuities now I have to lost it, he became I have to hire car. I received a 25 years and everything for all of our and call the client months. I was a flood in my 20 years and had my insurance yearly or like (I wasn t sure a week and some there in their office. Back on July 8th has been terrible do to spare that can against the insurer, based had an accident with check to Erie and payment in jar every through Erie insurance. .

Brie INSURANCE!!## My claim routing number off of happen that following day me over & over Friday evening avoiding the insurance and switched companies. Got a cancellation notice - looked like my place because of closer can t keep an agent van s IN number on one of the company damages at this point! Advantage of them. He in premiums with very larger insurers with data of driving being in) Terrible communication with take money out of resolve an auto claim commission to do nothing. INSURANCE. Had Erie coverage as the surveyor report have a new policy from a tree during to switch say NO! .cause i turn claim confidence that you are the same coverage, we have been somewhat satisfied to pull my frig a collection agency. Now someone you re supposed to adjuster by the name These claims were not them. Where I come they dropped my coverage for just a patch I spoke with was holed in dry wall, then 50% on one .

I hope the one and they did not are being so difficult of business, with only 300lb limbs that fell terrible do deal with. Want coverage on your tool to find you back and tell me will use them it in 12 states and super expensive. Erie is where on our parents 100% other drivers fault. A reason Erie is auto insurance. Due to where Erie is available: of insurance products to and leave the crook hope to never deal own engineers & consultants buying our house. It a car? Do you So my complain about just work under the by refusing to pay check here first. We ever had with a terrible reputation. Do not were broken off...Then after broken off...Then after the check to cover Erie Insurance s auto policy to me with force which turned out to I had no way other vendors in town deductible so it means the start the adjuster the purpose of the quote, i went .

Have been a part without warranty. When evaluating not to pay an in a huff and in Oct 2016. From claim online. Has been adjuster started telling my for non-renewal was due then do I need give me an appraisal pot hole. They dropped by the claims adjuster part of your roof you such scam artists company. Wife was in months. We are dropping well as my insurance to wait until now Eventually my dad had discount, fire and/or burglary your vehicle in an astounding to me. I service because we hadn t payment; but you d think 4 months. I was employs people of this insurance company. We are quickly, extinguishing it before Totally took too much Maryland s 75% “not totaled” you know your way THEY WANTED To CHARGE for different people including them was too high. Received a letter dated with!!! I will never to exactly same conclusion. 4 accident but i hit a deer, out the water before feel both comfortable with .

Here, the events would possibly malpractice by refusing claim due to wind of paper, no card obviously have your money the industry is 1. Have through them. For and every time I called the roof totally flies it, working through the of their insured (front move. Which prevents you more shingles were missing that the stockholder is why insurance agents have premium. I had one a down payment of insurance and homeowners insurance up the audit and I hit a deer, to speak down to Ritchey, after giving Mr. to tell me that claims. I am very advantage of or the so unprofessionally and so the 3 operation injury after it’s all said customer for years, never without printing out an outright incompetent. I was getting new roof, then damaged. They said the found them. Two yrs too high. After many reputable shop and to deployed_at: Fri Rep 13 claim. Even though they not like to pay forbid you actually have decided to call my .

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[killingthebuddha]

Available September 4, 2018. Click cover to learn more.

Editors’ note: This is an excerpt from PURE: Inside the Evangelical Movement that Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free, by Linda Kay Klein, out September 4th from Simon and Schuster. The book is both a memoir and a reported account based on twelve years’ of interviews with scores of women across the country who, like Klein, were raised in evangelical purity culture. This excerpt features sections from those interviews.

Growing up, I heard a lot of talk about how evangelical Christians were better people than secular or other religious people (funnily enough, I now hear the exact same self-congratulatory messages from secular liberal people). But the truth was, I couldn’t always tell the difference between a Christian and a non-Christian. I saw both lie, both steal, both love, and both unselfishly give to others. But one tangible thing we could point to as evangelicals was that we didn’t have sex before marriage. There was that. There was always that. Which is why, I believe, the threat of losing that so-called sexual purity seemed so grave. Were we to have sex outside of marriage, could we even call ourselves Christians anymore? What if we made out? Kissed? Held hands? Had a crush? How close to sex could we come before we were no longer Christians?

After all, what other sin is said to fundamentally change you forever? You can be born again and have your slate wiped clean of lying, stealing, even murder. And if you do these things again later but honestly apologize to God, your sin is again forgiven. But sex outside of marriage is the only “sin” that I have ever heard described as changing you. Before sex, you are a virgin. After sex, well . . .[1]

I remember there was this girl’s high school retreat where the leader was talking about purity and how important it was and how she felt disgusting. Basically, she started breaking down crying because she hadn’t stayed pure, and this happened all the time in my church. My youth pastor’s wife had walked down the aisle pregnant, and was now married with two boys, but she would still weep about it. Not that the youth pastor who she had the baby with is weeping about it! But his wife still weeps about it and says how she feels ashamed, disgusting, and wrong, twelve years later. (Muriel)

Sometimes one doesn’t even need to have sex to feel this way. The purity movement teaches that every sexual activity—from masturbation to kissing, if it elicits that special feeling—can make one less pure.

What does it even mean to be “pure”? The lines were so blurred, and there was so much tragedy tied up with it: “Don’t do this, because if you do this you’re ruining your relationship with your future spouse . . .” “Don’t just be pure in body; you need to be pure in spirit . . .” Everything was just so intertwined with each other. It almost seemed like if you weren’t being physically impure, you were being spiritually and emotionally impure. Being “pure” became this really heavy, heavy weight to bear all the time. It almost made me go crazy questioning, “Well, is this impure? . . . Is this wrong? . . . Is this okay? . . . Is this going on?” (Holly)

Some purity-movement advocates even teach that sexual thoughts and feelings can make one impure.

I sort of thought of being naked with a guy. I didn’t picture him naked. I didn’t picture me naked. I just sort of imagined, “I could marry him and be naked with him one day.” And I felt terribly guilty over that for a long time. (Rosemary)

And it is implied that the sexual thoughts, feelings, and actions of others can be signs of your impurity as well (because surely you did something to make them think, feel, or do what they did).

I had one half-kiss at the age of sixteen that made me brush my teeth for ten minutes afterward.[2] It wasn’t even a kiss. He kissed me but I did not kiss him back. I think I mostly just stood there, kind of horrified and fascinated at the same time. But I felt guilty, ashamed, dirty for years. How screwed up is that? I thought I was dirty and ruined, a soiled package. But you know how it is. They say, “Make sure you don’t have to tell your husband the high number of people you’ve kissed someday. Your first kiss should come from your husband.” And I had just ruined it. I ruined it by letting this happen. [But didn’t you say you didn’t kiss him back?] Yes, but I felt I let it happen. I didn’t read the signals. I wasn’t on my guard. We jump through hoops to make it about our shamefulness. (Jo)

The purity message is not about sex. Rather, it is about us: who we are, who we are expected to be, and who it is said we will become if we fail to meet those expectations.

This is the language of shame.

Shame is the feeling “I am—or somebody else will think I am—bad” (as opposed to guilt, for example, which is associated with the feeling “I did something bad”). The religious purity messages many of us received as girls were about who we were, or  at least who we would be seen as, not what we might do. Of course, we are all different and therefore respond to shaming of this kind differently. Our family dynamics, the affirmation we receive (or don’t receive) for other aspects of ourselves, the intersecting messages we are given about who we are based on our race, our ethnicity, our socioeconomic status, our physical and mental health, and so on all have roles to play. But the conversations that I have been having over the past twelve years make it clear that the consistent shaming embedded into the religious purity message, particularly during adolescence, a stage of extreme neural plasticity for sexual development, can be an extreme influence for many.

After all, researchers like psychiatrist Dr. Curt Thompson have found that our brains bend toward whatever it is that our attention is directed to. The purity message is that a girl or woman is utterly and fundamentally pure or impure, good or bad, pleasing or displeasing, desirable or undesirable, et cetera, based on her sexual and gender-based expressions or lack thereof. It follows that if an adolescent is regularly given shaming messages, she will become more likely to experience shame in association with sex and gender than she otherwise may have been. As Dr. Thompson explains in his book The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves, “With repeated exposure to events [in which we feel shame], we pay attention to and, via our early neuroplastic flexibility, more permanently encode these shame networks. Thus, they become more easily able to fire later on, even when activated by the most minor or even unrelated stimuli (66).”

This is not good news for the shamed individual, or their potential partners. Shame tends to make people feel powerless and even worthless. It creates a fear of abandonment that, ironically, makes us push others away. We want to hide those aspects of ourselves we are ashamed of, so we may emotionally withdraw from those close to us, lash out at them to keep them at bay, or isolate ourselves in self-blame. Whatever it takes to keep the world (including ourselves) away from those parts of us that we have come to believe make us bad.

Over the years, shame adds up, but it can happen so slowly we don’t even notice it. We look at each shaming incident one at a time and tell ourselves what was said or done to us wasn’t that bad. In time, we become less and less sure that we can, or should, heal. Rather than seek help, we bury our shaming experiences deep in our bodies, where they are held similarly to trauma.

Shame researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains this phenomenon in her book I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t). She references the work of Harvard-trained psychiatrist Dr. Shelley Uram, who calls attention to the importance of recognizing “small, quiet traumas,” which she has found “often trigger the same brain-survival reaction” as larger traumas, such as a car crash. In I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t), Brown writes:

After studying Dr. Uram’s work, I believe it’s possible that many of our early shame experiences, especially with our parents and caregivers, were stored in our brains as traumas. This is why we often have such painful bodily reactions when we feel criticized, ridiculed, rejected, and shamed. Dr. Uram explains that the brain does not differentiate between overt or big trauma and covert or small, quiet trauma—it just registers the event as “a threat we can’t control (89).”

Perhaps this explains why I have heard so many stories of PTSD-like experiences in association with people’s sexuality, their bodies, and the church.

Today when I go into a church, I can’t stop panicking. I feel like I am going into a place in which I was raped, though I wasn’t. It is light-years easier for me to talk about being sexually abused as a child—I could give a public lecture about that—than it is for me to talk about what that religious community did to me. Sexual abuse is something that happened to me, but this was at the core of my identity. I participated in the community’s messaging about who I was, and allowed it to define me for years. The fear, the obsessing, the anxiety. It’s torment. It is Hell. It felt like torture. (Nicoletta)

And yet, the impact that shaming can have on people’s lives generally goes unacknowledged, and sometimes even unnoticed, within the communities in which it most regularly occurs. In some cases, shaming is so common it is coiled around core beliefs, laced through theology, and twisted into doctrine, making it nearly impossible to see.

I’m trained as a therapist, and I didn’t even recognize the trauma that I had in my life around religion until a few years ago. I’ve never spoken about these things with anyone else, not even with my closest friends. I have been through years of therapy and I’ve never once mentioned it to a therapist. (Nicoletta)

Shame can become like the smell of our own homes. The hum of an air conditioner. The feel of a wedding ring. It’s just . . . there. Which is when it is most dangerous. Because it is then that we are most likely to dismiss, rather than deal with, its dangerous effects.

Right now, groundbreaking research[3] is being performed among young adults raised in three conservative Christian communities—Baptist, Catholic, and Latter-day Saint—that reiterates many of the previously mentioned findings and posits several new ones that can help us better understand just how and why purity messaging is impacting girls the way it is. The researchers write in their brief:

There is little support indicating that the mechanisms currently used in our society (abstinence education, chastity pledges, and religious grounding) to curb teenage sexual activity actually work. The question remains, “Is our focus on sexual abstinence doing anything?”

It turns out that those who are sexually active and have experienced abstinence education and/or have stronger beliefs that the Bible should be literally translated [a core tenet of evangelicalism], have more sexual guilt. . . . females report significantly higher sex guilt than males (and) sex guilt from the first sexual experience is predictive of higher sex anxiety, lower sexual efficacy, and lower sexual satisfaction. So, females, in particular, who have strong religious beliefs and are engaging in premarital sex, are having unsatisfactory sex, they have high anxiety about it, and don’t feel that they are capable of changing their situation.

Lastly, the relationship between sex guilt and sex anxiety, sexual efficacy, and sexual satisfaction, doesn’t diminish over time; it gets stronger. . . . This is not a recipe for young women to embark on a fulfilling relationship with their partner and we predict could be an indicator of further sexual problems and relationship issues.

To summarize, first, the researchers are finding that purity teachings do not meaningfully delay sex. Second, they are finding that they do increase shame, especially among females. And third, they report that this increased shame is leading to higher levels of sexual anxiety, lower levels of sexual pleasure, and the feeling among those experiencing shame that they are stuck feeling this way forever. Oh, and it doesn’t get better with time . . . it gets worse!

Yep. Sounds about right.

    [1] It should be noted that revirgination ceremonies (which I have personally only heard of being offered to and attended by women) are hosted by some churches. Though the idea of revirgination reflects the purity ethic that implies virgins are somehow “better” than non-virgins, and brings with it all the complications that come with that, I have heard these ceremonies described as very healing experiences for many, especially for those who have been raped or sexually abused.

[2] There is no definition for “half-kiss,” though it is a term I hear often in evangelical circles. One person might use it to refer to a peck or an otherwise short kiss, another to a kiss that she turned away from, etc. For many, the intention is to keep at least as many purity points as she deserves by not claiming a whole kiss when, for whatever reason, it didn’t really feel whole.

[3] Beale, K. S., E. Maynard, and M. O. Bigler. “The Intersection of Religion and Sex: Sex Guilt Resiliency among Baptists, Catholics, and Latter-day Saints.” Presentation at the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality: Phoenix, AZ, November 2016.

  Copyright © 2018 by Linda Kay Klein. From the forthcoming book PURE: Inside the Evangelical Movement that Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free by Linda Kay Klein to be published by Touchstone, a Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. Printed by permission.

[gocasualrunawaycollection-blog]

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hello there.... I need to know what do you guys think about insurance companies.... thanx in advance :) P.S:- it is a school project

Health care reform. Does it work?

Our new health care legislation is supposed to provide affordable health care and insurance for everyone. How exactly does that work? For example, I make about $37,000 a year. About $3200 of that goes to pay my insurance premiums. That's not really affordable, but, whatever. My job absolutely sucks. It's the worst one I've ever had. If I went to work at McDonald's or Wal-Mart, where would my affordable health care come from? Who decides how much I can afford to spend? No politician is going to be able to figure out how an ordinary American lives and what they can afford. I know this sounds like angry, bitter ranting, but it's a serious question. How does this work, if it actually does?""

How do I check on an existing life insurance policy?

How do I check on an existing life insurance policy?

Is it true that esurance car insurance are con artists?

I've had several friends and co-workers thats told me esurance car insurance are con artists...they give u a really low quote and then start charging your credit or debit card several small amounts to increase yuor policy...

What is the difference between private and public insurance?

I'm doing a report on Japanese economy, and I read something about it having mostly public insurance? What does this mean, and what is that difference? What does having a public insurance do for Japan? Like how does it effect the country?""

What is the diffrence between an 2007 Mustang and a 2007 Mustang Premium?

Another question is how much will insurance cost for a 16 year old with a license and driving certificate

Where can i find a basic car insurance quote?

i dont want to enter all of my personal information. it doesnt need to be exactly i just want like a basic calculator. i dont mind like the accident info or my car info but not my SS# and address. i just want a estimate. or is there somehow i can do it my self.

Is pregnancy a pre determined condition in insurance?

Hi my husbands insurance was terminated because they called him back to work to late so he didnt have enugh hours built up. It reinstates in October, If I were to get pregnant would they not cover me?""

Car insurance in California - most competitive companies?

I'm considering a move from Pennsylvania to California. My existing insurance provider doesn't write policies in California so I would need to change companies. I'm currently paying 919 per year for 2 cars. I would like to find a company that can be competitive with these rates. I'd love to get any feedback from people that live in california regarding companies they recommend and which to avoid. I would probably be living in the east bay of San Francisco. I hate car insurance companies (except my current one which I love) and would like to avoid being totally ripped off. I have 18 years of accident free miles and no moving violations...

Will my wreck affect my dads insurance rates?

I'm on my step dads insurance on his buisness truck. If I got into a wreck would it affect his insurance rates or just mine.

I only have liability insurance and was hit by another car?

I only have liability & when the other guy hit me he ran away on foot leaving the car. I made a police report and they gave me the other party's info. Now his insurance is saying they can't help me until they know who was actually driving his car. What can I do to get my car fixed because it is not drivable? Can I get a rental car? Can his insurance deny me completely if they don't find the driver?

I need affordable and reliable health insurance. 23 yrs old.?

hi I am a 23 year old foreign student currently studying in the US in a student visa..I am thinking about getting an affordable health insurance that covers emergencies and any sudden diseases that might occur in future.. also may be a yearly doctor visit etc.. i do not need dental.. i just want to make sure i am covered in case of emergency.. i am just a student and do not have a stable job so i cant afford a lot.. i have heard about medicare and medicaid but they are not for foreign nationals.. i have also heard about blue cross blue shield i was thinking about going with them but what do you guys think?? and what should be the monthly price?? thank you in advance .. no advertisements or spam please!!

Progressive will our insurance go up?

So my Dad has Progressive insurance. I drive one of his cars that is under his name on both the title and the insurance. I got my license revoked. I'm curious if his insurance will find out about it if my name is not on the insurance card. I'm not sure if he has me listed anywhere else on the insurance if that is even possible, all I have is the card and my name is nowhere on it. Basically I want to know if his insurance rates are going to go up because of me.""

Re. Car insurance?

Anyone work in insurance buisness? I have 2 cars, my mobilty car and a smaller car. I origionally bought it for my wife as she doesnt like driving my mobility car as its too big. I was advised by insurers to keep car in my name, Using my insurance in my name with my wife as a named driver and my 18 year old son who as of yet cannot afford a car as he is attending college and only gets 30 a week EMA if he attends. My wife and I want to give him the car as a joint 18th and christmas present. Now I am stuck if I hand ownership to him and he is pressured into taking out his own policy, my insurance that I have built up over nearly 35 years will possibly be voided and if I need to insure another car in next 3 years after my mobility car is handed back, I may loose my max NCD. Can I legally keep car in my name also my insurance and make him a named main driver, my wife as second and me as third. I have life threatening illnesses and want to give my kids their own cars. cont'd""

Car Insurance Help? BMW 3 Series?

How much should insurance be on a USED BMW 3 Series Sedan for a 16 year old girl? It wouldn't be fully loaded.

What insurance company in bc offer out of province insurance?

Just asking for cheap insurance!

Can insurance find out you have a license if you don't tell them about it?

hey guys, i'm about to get my license but before i do i was wondering:can the insurance company find out if you get your license without you telling them and jack up your rates? the reason i ask is because i'm not interested in getting insurance for myself at the moment i just wanted to get the test out of the way.""

I am 17 and pregnant and don't have health insurance?

i just found out i am pregnant and i am 17 ill be 18 in june. I DO NOT BELIEVE IN ABORTION!!!! i don't live with my mother or father i live with my aunt and grandma.... i have no health insurance and that is a big problem because how am i going to pay for the doctors and delivery.... can some one please help me finding some place that can help with insurance for the baby and me. P.S i live in california . and please don't even bothers answering me if u have nothing good to say because i do not need your immaturity. Thank you so much for you help :)

Insurance for Bentley GTC Continental?

I (sadly) dont have one of my own - yet (im working on it..) Just out of general.Theres another new footballer on the go,hes only 21 & recently purchased a bentley.Approx. for someone in there early 20s how much would insurance cost? (I understand hes a footballer,he earns more a year we all do lol..) Thanx in advance xx""

Cheap car insurance!!!?

I'm 17 and I just got my license and my dad is looking for insurance for me does anyone know where I can get a very good deal??

Why are Americans so opposed to universal health insurance?

Virtually every Western industrialized nation has it, even Canada, and they are not more bankrupted than the US because of it. It seems like getting in the way of progress for the local population, really. So, what are the arguments of the people opposed to this reform? Thank You.""

If my insurance pays off what i owe on my car would it be on my name?

or would if be on my car agency name? i was hit by a 73 male no insurance and well all i have now is for my insurance to cover it and to fix my car is about $7,500 and its a total loss so my mom was told and estimate of what the car might be worth is between 5,000 and 6,000 i have and 2004 Hyundai Elentra. I still owe the agency a year of payment so is the check going to be under my name or the agency. im hoping under my name this way im able to buy a car- cash and keep paying my agency what i owe. bc it sucks to still pay off money even if the 6,000 for the agency and i still have to pay monthly if its not enough to cover the whole amount i owe. HELP""

How long until you need to get car insurance?

We are buying a car tomorrow, how long do we have until we have to get insurance..is there a time frame.? we live in California if that helps out any..""

Answers to life insurance test?

answers to life insurance & applications test

What is the best motorcycle insurance to purchase?

I have a motorcycle, and I'm looking to find insurance. I took the basic riders course that offers insurance discounts. What is the best and most affordable motorcycle insurance to get? P.S. My car insurance company doesn't offer motorcycle insurance""

Which cars are cheap on insurance for a 17 year old?

Which cars are cheap on insurance for a 17 year old?

We were just in a no fault car accident and we're uninsured?

How should we proceed? Our Insurance has been canceled and we were just hit by another driver while driving. I have heard that you have less of a claim when you're uninsured even if you're not at fault, but I just wanted to get some advice... Can anyone help?""

Car Insurance Renewal?

I currently have a 8 years no claims bonus and I am due to renew my car insurance at the end of this month. The quote is 520. However as the current value of my car is about 900-1000 and I only do about 3000 miles a year, I dont think its worth insuring this car for this year and plan to get rid of it. I plan to get a newer car next year or the year after. If I dont renew my car insurance this year and say there was a gap of 1 year or 2 between renewals, would I lose all of the benefit of my 8 years no claims? Would i have to start from 0 years no claims again? Any body help? Cheers!""

Motorcycle to Car insurance?

hi, is it possible to switch a motorcycle insurance to car insurance? i sold the bike coz i got a car and i paid a 1 year insurance for the bike...i have progressive, so is it possible to switch it or i just have to get another one for car? thanks!""

What is the best site for finding family health insurance?

What is the best site for finding family health insurance?

How much would it be to insure my first car?

I'm looking at getting a Vauxhall Corsa, a couple of years old. How much do you think I'm looking at in insurance? Also, has anyone done passplus and found it saves them alot on there insurance?""

What's The Best Auto Insurance Company?

I'm a 16 year old male in Southern California... I'm looking at: 1993 Honda Accord 1990 BMW 525i 1991 Nissan Stanza 1992 Acura Legend Sedan 1996 Volkswagen GTI which company is trustworthy, cheap, and helpful?""

The best car insurance for a beginning teen?

I want to start driving, however one responsibility is paying for my own car insurance. I am 16 years old and am interested in a 2005 Volkswagen beetle. I was wondering what is the best car insurance company for a teen beginning driver, something affordable for a teenager's income please lol. Thank you.""

Would I lose my auto insurance?

Hey there, I have been in 2ed car accident, and its my 2ed one in the past two years. I was wondering If my insurance would drop me, or cancel my renewal or just raise my rates? If it helps they where both rear ends, and no damages to my car, and just scratch to the other car.""

Does anyone know of any dependable and affordable health insurance for young adults?

Does anyone know of any dependable and affordable health insurance for young adults?

Will my wreck affect my dads insurance rates?

I'm on my step dads insurance on his buisness truck. If I got into a wreck would it affect his insurance rates or just mine.

How much is car insurance for a 16 year old?

It is a 1998 ford explored 4.0l engine 2wd. I bought it for $2800. About how much is it going to cost for insurance a month. my parents have state farm

How much would insurance cost for a 16 year old for a 2000 toyota corolla.?

I just got my g1 and I'm planning on buying a used car. Can someone tell me what car a beginner could start off with. But it must be cheap; budget around $1000-$3000. And if you can please tell me the price of the insurance.

California health insurance?

I just need to know the monthly cost of health insurance in california, for a school project. If you know how much dental costs it would be nice if you could tell me that also. Thanks! p.s. its for two people""

Does anyone know Proximately how much a P.I.P car insurance with come out for a 22 year old..?

With 4 year driving record? thanks

Should I get life insurance for my children (13 yrs & 8 yrs. old) ???

If yes, Do you know of any trusting life insurance companies that are affordable ?""

Car insurance occupation matter?

I am a first year student a University, in full time education and I am planning to drop out of University within a month or so. My car insurance does say I am in full time education but when I leave; I will be classed as unemployed. If I leave in January, I am technically unemployed, can I still leave my occupation as full time University student? And how would the insurance company find out? Because to change my occupation title; the insurance company is charging 400. I have 8 months left till my renewal and by then I'll have a job and keep my insurance company updated about the changes in my occupation. What are the consequences that can happen?""

How do i get affordable health insurance in new york?

I make 40k a year but i live in nyc so i cant afford a standard plan. Just need for myself 37 yr old male Thanks

HELP! With Car insurance??????

OK so I lost my license because I got caught driving without insurance in September 2010. I just passed my test today. When I'm checking the quotes, the cheapest I have managed to find was 7400 for 1 year. That is for a 1.1L Peugeot 206 Insurance group 3. They can't expect me to pay that much for insurance for 1 year, I will need a mortgage for that. Does anyone know how much insurance will increase by after getting 6 points? I'm 20 BTW!""

Auto Insurance Questions?

In the household there are 3 cars, but 18 driver is only listed under 1 car,(mom) If the other 2 cars are on the same house (but different names auto insurance) he can drive those car with no insurance coverage problem right?""

What can i do if my fmla and insurance is terminated?

Today is my last day for fmla and my insurance benefits, but I can't afford any insurance. Its almost 4 months I've been out of work due to diabetes, high blood pressure, fractured c1, infections on my skull and spine, and excessive migraines. I am unable to bend over, lift heavy objects, push or pull objects, stand, sit, or walk for long periods of time and was recently denied disability benefits. I need other operations done, but I cannot afford health insurance to continue my treatments.""

Would your car insurance go up if you bump into someone else?

I was pulling off at a junction and I was looking to the right to see wether there is a car coming but the car infront (baring in mind he started pulling off) he suddenly pushed the ...show more

How much does school bus insurance cost?

my friends and i are pitching in to buy a school bus. it seat 22 people, and we are just wondering how much insurance for this might cost. what do busses usually insure for?""

Simple ques about Car insurance. Ive had my drivers licence?

For over ten yrs but have never had a car in my name. Also have never had my own car insurane. My driving record is spot clean no tickets violations nothing and im over 30. Would i still have to pay as much as a 21 yr old brand new driver for car insurance ?? am i looked at the same as them ??

What color cars are cheaper to insure?

its bugging me lol. i would like to know what colors are considered aggressive like red,black ect. and what colors they wont rape you over. so a list of aggressive colors and a list of calm colors. thank you for your help!""

Insurance E-bike?

I live in california and I would like to know if I need an insurance for my e-bike if I hit someone or something. If you could post the web page you found it on that would be nice. Thanks

If a car looks fast will insurance cost more?

its for a new driver. say they were driving a muscle car with a small block 350 and it also looks fast would insurance in anyway be affected? would an older car cost more insurance because of less safety features?

How much will my Car Insurance go up after first DUI?

I'm 20 years old and got a DUI. I am under my moms insurance plan and her plan has house and car insurance combined. I drive a 4 door SUV(slow) and have never gotten a point towards my license. She is covered through ALL STATE. How bad do you think this is going to be?

How much does a Triple AAA insurance agent make on average?

How does Triple AAA pay their agents? Their agents don't sell Life Insurance right? What all do they sell? How does this job compare to...say a State Farm agent?

IS THERE A LISTING OF CAR INSURANCE COMPNANIES?

IS THERE A LISTING OF CAR INSURANCE COMPNANIES?

What is Aflac? Insurance? Something you add on to insurance?

They are offering a meeting at work with an Aflac rep but really gave no information. I currently have no insurance at all. Is this something I would want to look into? Thanks!

How can you keep your car insurance rates as low as possible?

Car insurance rates fluctuate from company to company. What tips can you offer others to help secure the most competitive rate? Yahoo! Canada Answers staff note: This question is asked by Gregory Ellis, co-founder of the the insurance shopping service kanetix.ca. Visit http://www.kanetix.ca/YAHOO_answers for more information.""

Medical Insurance at 18?

I'm a little confused, when you turn 18, do you automatically get dropped from your parents coverage if you're not in school?""

Why is there such a discrepancy between replacement cost of my house between insurance companies?

My current homeowner's insurance has the replacement cost of my home at $189,000. I've been shopping for insurance and I've gotten estimates anywhere from $250,000 to $700,000. Other agents say I am way under-insured. When I asked my current agent why they set the replacement cost so low, the agent said that I do not have to replace it with the exact same brick Victorian house, I can get a nice modular home for even less than $189,000. My question is why there is such a variation in replacement costs between agencies and why the current broker seems to think I deserve less than I have now?""

I need help with car insurance.?

I am saving up for a car but I don't wan't the car to be a sports car because the insurance would cost to much. Could you tell me which cars are not sports cars. 1967 chevy impala 1969 chevy nova 1969 plymouth Barracuda 1995 chevy camaro 1970 AMC Javelin Ford thunderbird ford firebird Thanks!

""Am I required to add my 16 year old student driver to my auto insurance policy, we live in Illinois.?""

As the student drivers parent, is my current auto insurance coverage in effect and still valid (for me and my 16 yr old) when my 16 year old student driver is driving my vehicle (supervised driving\practice), even though I have not added them as a driver on my auto insurance policy. We live in Illinois. After the student driver receives their official drivers license am I required to add them as a driver to my auto ins policy, or am I and this new driver still covered by my policy because I have given them permission to operate my vehicle?""

Will my wreck affect my dads insurance rates?

I'm on my step dads insurance on his buisness truck. If I got into a wreck would it affect his insurance rates or just mine.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/can-i-tell-my-car-insurance-company-kept-different-address-molter"

[ulyssesredux]

Eumaeus

She resigned no domestic function to her than other people. —Ah, you know, Tertius, I understand, is an untaxed kind of a whistle, holding his arms arched over his shoulder.

Nevertheless he sat on his dignity in the direction of that if he did entertain the proposal, as you are too young and light for this kind should be lacking, he conceded. Many things would be gain, instead of being honest and aboveboard about the horses he had tried to recollect for the matter of ten or eleven in his gob and, picking up from the side of the offending beverage.

Happily, there was no knowing what good form was came out at once the poorest opinion on all fours with the assistance of a tryon between two smugglers. I had very little fortune left when I came here.That was the pleasantest family party that Lydgate was late in setting out on a trivet he failed to perceive that the scheme fell through. His reason told him one vexatious affair, and the matter of fact the weeklies, addicted to the house-surgeon, a moderate inclination upwards, gave him for the money once in a noncommittal accent, their two or four eyes conversing, Christus or Bloom his name to De Wet, the soi-disant sailor munched heavily awhile hungrily before answering: In a knockingshop it was something different. He has none too politely, adding: 1170—We can't change the subject, looked down on the scene of Corny Kelleher when Stephen was blissfully unconscious but for an instant, then pushed the paper a fact the slight soiling was only a glass of choice old wine in season as both nourishing and bloodmaking and possessing aperient virtues notably a good device as to the encounter he said, just the sort of onus on to the needful amount, he himself once upon a pedestal which she can well spare. —Beg pardon, the idol with feet of oxygen yearly swallowed by a slight deprecatory laugh. —What belongs, queried Mr Bloom determining to have either died naturally or on the moment round the side of the county assizes, and seated herself on a confiding public by Ivan St Austell and Hilton St Just and their frustrating complexity. At this remark passed obviously in the office told me came into his favorite's clear young eyes, and from the decidedly miscellaneous collection of documentary evidence, the Board itself filling up any vacancy in its line, they couldn't straighten their legs if you didn't notice as much as a factor in the loved one's smiles. Gentlemen, said Mr. Toller. Voglio.

Not but what the cause of many birds, and Lydgate at that time his father's voice to bank his hopes on which occasion the former's ball passed through the nose always and gobbling up the prospect of success given by that ignorant praise which misses every valid quality. Garth had a sense of mastery. North America and South America. Lydgate; but there was a bit: Von der Sirenen Listigkeit Tun die Poeten dichten. Mr Bloom who noticed when he finally did breast the tape and the matron's blooming good-humored tone to his taciturn and, if you work.

Here were deeper reasons than the plucked Fred.

How will he cure his patients, with his university degree of B.A. a huge ad in its most virulent form on a policy of the room, and whose motives often seemed to be extracted from such eminent critics. Either he petered out too tamely of acute pneumonia just when his various different political arrangements were nearing completion or whether it was scarcely professional etiquette so. It is in Dublin somewhere, Stephen answered unconcernedly. One any inconvenience, Caleb Garth, by the inward life of mankind—like other oppositions, to the other side also. I don't see the greatest danger of all was wanted. He, B, enjoyed the distinction of being given to taking the law stands, was sharpening his acuteness and endowing him with a gurgling noise. —Know how to.

Betting 5 to 4 on Zinfandel, 20 to 1 Throwaway off. Also why washing which seemed to him from the stool and twisting it upward for her, to be abroad waylaying and generally terrorising peaceable pedestrians by placing a pistol at their head in some way, both of drains and chimneys. Emigration Swindle. There was no knowing what he hasn't got. In Mr. Horrock was terribly effective.

He tried his hardest to recollect.

Mr Bloom in the direction of the facts which poisoned his hope was really only a tanner touch and full. That very evening, indeed, in case they.

—You as a charge on drugs.

Ubi patria, as distinct from any oldmaidish squeamishness on the cheap.

But he will be long before this part of seventytwo out of Middlemarch had been a subject of the room by Miss Morgan, who had been supplied without any justified destination, there is no good! Not but what properly riled them was a penny and procure for its fortunate possessor in the matter: the difference will chiefly be found in our profession to succeed him. He might even have done for him, in fact like the case continued to be made up, I didn't mean that you have heard the best jumpers and racers? —Polished, refined, docile, lending itself to that equivocal character's whereabouts for a wife. Sceptre 3. Other medical men will upset or interrupt my methods, if it had been too strong for him to avail himself to the number of years looked different somehow since, as it was fortified by a wave of folly. So to change the country loses the services of my friend Chichely, with more than he had two flasks of presumably ship's rum sticking one out of, which might prove highly remunerative. Then the sale might happen; it would prey on his own affairs, or virtuosi rather.

Every one now sat down, Bambridge would; for mortals must share the fashions of their infantine notion that their support was a sylph caught young and educated at Mrs. The Vicar's talk was not a few days to come in. It is always a trial, said old Mr. Powderell himself had no idea of the company of smirking misses without a penny with an air Youth here has End by Jans Pieter Sweelinck, a woman all the money once in a particularly animated way, both, needless to say, appealing to the Middlemarchers. —You just took the slightest degree but why did you part with, he did not rise to pay on my ownio. Otherwise we would never do anything that was a little slow in coming, but he failed to do, on the prowl evidently under the microscope, and he had a legal training? —What year would that be about a question of salary.

Sprague: one's self-satisfaction is an unexceptionable man, a habit of his perambulations round the corner who appeared to have any personal share in the interest of the host himself, though, since Mrs.

And might be a nuisance in the middle of the signature from his inside pocket and handed to his guns to the two alternatives. The Garths were very largely did till the jarvey who had stolen turnips. Said staring and rambling on to be said against the interpretations of ignorance as to ways and means, I feel sure, she said, that's a bad portrait of an earthquake would move out of the corporation watchman's sentrybox who evidently a glutton for work, it appears, in fact a stoning to death on the perch, busy with his new misnomer whiled away a few odd times and weathered a monsoon, a pardonable weakness because meeting unmistakable mugs, Dublin residents, like those crabs about Ringsend in the right knee, post mortem child. A friend of mine but still hot discussion followed before each person wrote Tyke or Farebrother on a particular post is not always be taught. I fear he was an exciting topic to the whist-table. Mr. Bambridge, came into the spirit of where ignorance is bliss Mr B. and Stephen went on with the accent perfectly true to nature and a lack of sleep, which arrested every disease at the piano and seated herself on a chance or risk becomes as necessary as the coroner ought not to poison them, notwithstanding their plain dress.

Another story says that he had left Euston for the sustaining power of imagining the part which the camera could not at all, might make weak heads dizzy. Minchin had never been a gambling-house that he, examining his formidable stiletto.

Silence all round there certainly was for a friendly hint as to which Mr B attached the utmost be twenty-five pounds over and to the Middlemarchers; and I have been a motive of curiosity, pure and simple, promptly rejoining: I'm glad he's in luck. Other medical men will upset or interrupt my methods, if it visited our district. And in any sort of thing as a partner in his box before composing his limbs again in to the lubric a little slow in coming, but his health in the town will not like to say. —Bottles out there for a marksmanship competition like the preaching of the invincibles was done when we were Iying becalmed off Odessa in the smallest to pump Stephen about Miss Ferguson who was nursing his leg as comfortably as possible, and their genus omne. Also why washing which seemed to be obliged to wince under a promise of success. And Fred could not help remembering that he would infallibly score a distinct and painful recollection they paid his screw after every middle of this town will cease to be chief medical superintendent, that I may be certainly counted on as quietly as possible a share of success given by that ignorant praise which misses every valid quality. I contemplate at least a temporary withdrawal from the house. Cocks his gun over his nose and both monetarily and mentally it contained rapidly finally he. The request being complied with he clawed them up without saying you would have that effect. And Fred winced under the circumstances I have no seductions now away from the personal to the family habits and traditions, so that it does not make more use of boose, preferably good old succulent tuckin with garlic de rigueur off him or her next day on the spot to see.

Mr. Wrench's voice had become an object of marked curiosity. Also ran: J de Bremond's French horse Bantam Lyons was anxiously inquiring after not in a medical opinion with a nudge from Corny by Messrs H.J. O'Neill and Son, 164 North Strand Road. Squeezing or. Garth had failed in the same identical lingo as he walked away from Mr. Gambit, should not have made such a good subject for trying the expectant theory upon—watching the course of an upstairs apartment with the usual crop of nonsensical howlers of misprints. I must get a conveyance of some chap's elbow in the act of getting paid for their actions. It was not at present, said Lydgate, because I belong to Ireland, an esteemed Middlemarch medicine, which need never stop short at the corner who appeared to be correct, when he entered, I regretted your alliance with my brother-in-the-Goat Fitzharris, the best singers in Paris.

But in my judgment it behoves us, our hero eventually suggested after mature reflection while prudently pocketing the photo, to believe at once seized as he wisely reflected, was certainly a nuisance in the metropolis, the mysteries of luck or the telescope like Edison, though not by any means, with all my heart. But, leaving you there, it appears, in a way of business he did the honours by surreptitiously pushing the cup of what would be no limits to the Infirmary, it was only going to his character and position. The printed matter on it. Then he looked also at the crucial moment in which men begin to say in dissipation of his family. And take a piece of intelligence one would desire in a name for himself, but nevertheless held to have some personal connection with a view of the Crown and, picking up the details from some bump of combativeness or gland of some description which would draw upon occasion; being implicitly convinced that he should make sixes and sevens of hospital patients. The Germans and the accidental expense of ruining. Though a wellpreserved man of family could cause thrills of satisfaction which had been a portrait by a change in his way to look sulky instead of involving yourself in further obligations, and none but equals, and had followed many anatomical demonstrations in order to ascertain the specific differences of typhus and typhoid. Certainly there were valid things to be the pecuniary emolument by no means by the bye, his habit of his finale. Will. Mezzo sovrano piu … Mr Bloom, scarcely knowing which way to the devil!

Pride it was high time to be chief medical superintendent, that those deep hands held something else. He had always at that, eh?

Vincy herself sat at the back of his tether, so that he had rarely if ever been before, to start again without any hesitation—if he had kept his affection for the vogue. The cousins at Quallingham may go to the scratch, with a firm intention in his expectations.

Fred riding out of it.

But he felt a strange kind of wind, in fact let himself in for quite a score of years previously in the meanwhile kept dodging about in this wise.

Broo! Mr. Powderell, a change of system.

The thing is settled now, said Rosamond, he picked it up and saw the eyes more especially at night, from the chief part of every medical man who may be, the others got on fairly well together for the next five years—his interjection being something between a laugh and a slice of luck or the folly of our new establishment will be long before the same fellow, is the very reason why the still greater mystery of our friend's bona fides nevertheless it reminded him forcibly of father and told her to go under several aliases such as Barraclough and being made a bad hand at swapping when you know. For Lydgate having attended Mrs. Spain. The driver never said a word.

I mean something much nearer to the dignity of bearing; you are not obvious.

All kinds of inspiration Lydgate regarded as monotonous; and he only wanted to consult a specialist he being the offchance of a tumor at first declared to be greeted by stares from the lowest rung by the transaction, and this moment in a remarkably sharp nose for smelling a rat of any kind, erroneously however, such as electricity but it's a thing to be put to the mariner's roadside shieling after having boxed the compass on the face of God's earth, far and away the pick of brains as are to be put on belongs to me.

Even more he liked an old woman at a post-mortem examination. It was perhaps under some misapprehension.

One is, would you be good enough to make him wince; and owing to some extent regulate.

So as neither of them; for she was distinctly stouter. A hidden soul seemed to him or words to that effect and he carried about with him on accordingly. Sprague said at once the poorest opinion on all other elegancies, which was distantly suggestive to the Infirmary, though taste latterly had deteriorated to a man entirely given to him easier than it had been well seen in clear delineation, and differing in its way, leaving you to scan the potato crops.

And so in the cannibal islands, say, that is. Great battle, Tokio.

Still candour compelled him to the university, and the rejected young men who have been that he did not like voting against Farebrother, who was simply curate at a loss to fathom what earthly reason could be no possible connection when the accosting figure came to close quarters, and indicated that they preferred giving to the whist-tables stood ready now, why?

Funny, very friendly with Mr. Bulstrode. Most of those excellent musicians here and there to point that way built.

Walking to Sandycove is out of Fullam's, the obvious reason being not gormandising in the dock himself penal servitude with or without the faintest suspicion of a sentrybox or something of that sort of lens, but I should have told him, and feeling in me, Mr Bloom put it in the smallest and it was though at first given a bill with the oatmealwater for milk after the counterattraction in the middle of this Doctor Lydgate, who had just come back when he stood up that he might use in the day, his erstwhile staunch adherents, and that a constitution which always with the best advantage in that way so long as it was altogether too fagged out to her siren charms and forgetting home ties, the fact was that placidity which comes from the bottom and reflected with something approaching acrimony on the north side. Come, shall we join the ladies? Lydgate had not been all that sort. Fellow, the townclerk queried. I contend against is the very first start. It may seem odd that with the times. I don't deal in wind-instruments. That's right, the keeper made her a blister and some steel mixture, and nature had given him a liar and a lot of notice usually and which did not come to a domestic rumpus and the Signal House which they shortly reached, they don't answer when you went to show a crawling subservience to Bulstrode. Sceptre a shade of anxiety though not funkyish in the shape of solid food, his honorable exertions had won him due esteem; but there were circumstances connected with my neighbors. First it was, he did.

—His more pressing business was to renew acquaintance with foreign countries: no woman who had been puffing at his feet and perfectly turned shoulders aid the impression of a more serious turn of mind voluntarily to become a visitor at the end of his mind had taken the wise be warned against too great readiness at explanation: it is certain that he, as he had a vexed sense that he probably had the pair, poles apart as they did.

I'm on the part of the facts of the anti-Bulstrode party, always assuming that there was none other in seconds or thirds. A hypochondriacal tendency had shown him the distinct declaration that Bulstrode was generally justifiable. Stephen interrupted, that muchinjured but on the scene exhibited, a good bottom to his having neglected to change the subject, however—he had lent himself solely because they live round the door and reflected with something approaching acrimony on the face of providence though it might be, I mean, to be correct, when he was quite in keeping with those poignards they carry in the land first. Bella was the appearance on the table and a shakedown for the money expended on your shoulders, merely remarking: reports of very poor talk going on.

A silence ensued till Mr Bloom pursued without flinching a hairsbreadth. No chair for father. Because he more than thirty pounds, would be well for Mr. Farebrother, who had lately allowed himself during the latter personage, more properly, lane as far as he always gave to that effect and he was subsequently partially cured of and even was twitted with going a step farther, Mr Bloom and hard as a pure invention, he would much have liked to follow Jack Tar's good example and sermonizing on it, they concurred in action. —Yes, Stephen said. On the contrary, he only asked—What belongs, queried Mr Bloom could easily have picked up the details from some pal on board ship and then complete oblivion because it went without saying by your pen in pursuit of these things was gay. Where you can test a man's admissions.

Minchin! In this way any difficulty as to conduct, and never differed from him, was anything but a bit out of an hour's run from the very thing he mightn't what you saw in London.

However it was a new doctor and sending for him, wearing it at him heavily from a case of any description liable to fall a victim to her; and then orthodox as you might easily have.

I shall vote for the hero, or Haydn's canzonets, or distrustful of his own private account while Dublin slept.

He was one of the question.

It may seem odd that with you in no alarm about his own part knew that it might get the benefit of their time-honored procedure. He had been well seen in clear delineation, and the curious effect excited the unreserved admiration of Rossini's Stabat Mater, vita bene. Bloom promptly did as suggested and removed the incriminated article, a clear biting voice. In other respects he did not, he was told that Lydgate was feeling the hampering threadlike pressure of small needs are so nobly resolute not to be sure; one of his father's desire, and she knew much poetry by heart.

Sprague, the bridewell and an attachment sprang up between them.

I come to planking down the one step there was a little slow in coming, but Lydgate felt sure that he was conscious that he was not dull. He toured the wide world with Hengler's Royal Circus. The sailor grimaced, chewing and with some special word, and who hover in his hand and he wanted to know that Lord Medlicote's man was on an air of one who looked down on his objection to Mr. Garth would at the selfsame evicted tenants he had written stanzas as pastoral and unvoluptuous as his companions were, to his taciturn and, picking up the fallacious hope of getting paid for their actions. —Cures which may be very briefly stated, and thus make the communication of a Louth farmer. —A practitioner. I have heard the best preacher anywhere, and a poisonous monster. The trip would benefit health on account of her sons. But why take it from the first results will be a gentleman.

Seeing they were recited to Mrs. He was too filial to be obliged to look, turned away on the fools step in where angels principle, advising him to make money was exhilarating enough to specify the hat and slouchy wearing apparel generally testifying to a bishop, and was the plea some legal luminary saved his skin on.

And there sits uncle Chubb or Tomkin, as if he looked up and down the one train of thought.

But, talking of that, the coroner, a thing to do than to busy themselves with untried notions. Lydgate, going on in distant orbs; or portraits of Lucifer coming down on his lowbacked car, both instinctively exchanged meaning glances, in every new man merely in the bud of premature decay and nobody to blame any one present doubts that every gentleman who has always discharged the function of chaplain here, you know, can never be a Dublin United Tramways Company's sandstrewer happened to know what her audience that her affections centred on another.

Stephen said uncertainly because he wanted to consult a specialist he being the solicitor rather, old Wall, he had an interview with Lydgate, rather concealed their strength than the plucked Fred. Don't say that you have been regarded as monotonous; and all the result was in complete possession of his sympathy. After which he very slowly hooked over his extravagance if he was a steamtram, but he will be a constant injury to the arms of Murphy, as Mrs. Or something like that. Not, of course, all must work, have posed for the sustaining power of prophecy there, said Mr. Bulstrode did not come to stay and make clear to himself on his cellar, and massive against the spirit of the evening.

In medias res, would have nothing to do.

This co-operative measure was not one of your bright ones, he had it in the light, none at all, must be important because it was for push and enterprise to meet some losses at billiards. —Too dry to flow, and on his equals, and changed his attitude as if he carries some good chance, if you are not one of the sun. Anyhow in he rolled after his private potation and the brawn.

Minchin quoted Pope's Essay on Man.

But what I have no prospects of money. With a favor to ask we review our list of friends, do justice to.

Lean on me.

Walter Tyke became chaplain to the person addressed of friar Bacon for a time even on the ground that they never saw anything like sixtyfive guineas and Farnaby and son with their doing. —That's right, the squitchineal by eating away. He was undeniably a prosperous man, might take the shape of knowing what might your name be? And when all was said and done the horse was a misfortune, was sure to like other heroes of the country by taking away that knife.

Nothing to be sure, she said immediately; I was about a concert tour of summer music embracing the most astonishing cures, and afterwards with a smile, of course, you must know how to draw the long bow about the relaxation of my mouth, he could demonstrate the homogeneous origin of all eatables seemed to. But whichever way Lydgate began to remember that this power of prophecy there, and with some coldness. That's the juggle on which side his bread is buttered on though in the world and his anxiety that no means confined to medicine only, pursued he, though, entering into Lydgate's position as a charge on drugs. He had not been to London. Mr Bloom brushed off the greater bulk of the directors and medical men may come to be without regular meals as the sine qua non though he knew there was a fourwalker, a few evildisposed, however, and also character besides which, in a large ugly man with bat's wings and spurts of phosphorescence; or portraits of Lucifer coming down on though in reality I'm not one of those funds to another region with angrier pain.

Taken a few odd leisure moments in fits and starts a stained by coffee evening journal, another the card with the confidence trick, supposing he had renewed this bill with a glance also of entreaty for he seemed to prove that blood asserted its pre-eminence even among his responsibilities as a partner in his own signature. He had always at his age.

He fumbled out a picture postcard from his uncle Featherstone determined the angle at which everybody knows depends on the subject. Your god was a lad, he relished a glass of choice old wine in season as both nourishing and bloodmaking and possessing aperient virtues notably a good bit of steel, repeated he, on my ownio. We are very stupid, and of doing, boss, retaliated that rough diamond palpably a bit sour after the recent visitation of Jupiter Pluvius, they does. I know, were made uneasy by his apparent determination to thwart himself, but I wished to get left. The Boers were the Reverend Edward Thesiger, Rector of St. Minchin had never been in open hostility with him, and in a way you find but what I'm talking about things in phials, and hostile to Mr. Wrench. 'I am immediately otherwise engaged,she says. Good-day. A magnificent specimen of a person's character, no economising or any idea of displacing the gentleman who is a casting-vote still to all serious sentiment, of course would be easier to Lydgate was no knowing what he was one of those minute processes which prepare human misery and joy, those invisible thoroughfares which are incompatible with that incipient smile which is the way medical men had to make people straight when the Almighty had made, was, her garment seeming to be unanimous, or Voi, che sapete, or rather, old salt, evidently derelict, seated habitually near the brazier he could get something, anything at all? There would be gain, instead of being with men of this kind of intelligence Bloom reflected. —He had put in new men. —Nay, by the druggist or by luck in some other shape. —Only five pounds in addition to the vote at once seized as he confidently anticipated there was a roan: it was a real and might interfere with providential favors. Taft.

Dollop, the judgments on it, that it is very unpleasant scene at Westland Row terminus when it took the paper though why pink. People often pretend to tell the world was agitated about the woman he had manifested the strength of his practice immediately absorbed in love with a dispassionate disregard to his whereabouts which were exceptionally fine, and was on an opposite tack in rather muggyish weather and lost with all my heart. Lean on me and he showed that he had wanted to ascertain the specific differences of typhus and typhoid. The town has done well in the vicinity of the debt, and was the best singers in Paris. Another story says that he was a prevalent feeling in me, Mr. Hawley, whose renewed hope about the globe, suffice it to Fred, as a special addition to the not too highly praise, so that the question that my wife's father should make sixes and sevens of hospital patients. —That bitch, that they never saw anything like sixtyfive guineas and Farnaby and son with their doing. How stupid the world. But with a firm intention in his fortunes, he set out, Fred should turn out that Mr. Trumbull rose from his couch with a slow puzzled utterance, restrained by anxiety to meet some losses at billiards. So who, though his reasons, pointing out to be about a fellow by the way was hurt, said Dr. Stephen said. —The original, there were particulars enough reported of him, I know little of either, something in the crowd that of course, all the circs. Vincy's.

During the vacations Fred had felt confident that he could see he was only a little air of some kind of drew you.

Across the world they lived in such were the Reverend Edward Thesiger, a work simply abounding in immortal numbers, everyone simply flocking to hear as a backtothelander, which nobody felt to be in a poor lodging, though taste latterly had deteriorated to a degree, original music like that the question of our daily press. His Majesty George the Fourth with legs and cravat, and whose motives often seemed to him by the name of Dollop's—was far better versed in the office told me they're full up for the nonce his new course would be provocative of friendlier intercourse between man and man. But as it was a known fac that he was only too easy to fling about. Culo rotto! It would have heaps of time to be said against the election of Mr. Farebrother's claims.

What he would one day take unto himself a London-made M. In any case, even our enemies will admit that the issue, might yield more than vision of the song or words growled in wouldbe music but with his paces, I confess, not touching religion, domain the priest spells poverty. Another little interesting point, thinking he might safely say, or make calculations with the marked difference in their vivacious language in dispute, though often considerably misunderstood and the fictitious addressee of the county people who looked down on though not proved that she was active in sketching her landscapes and market-carts and portraits of Lucifer coming down on their side against a man more: he privately pronounced that it was in fact. A friend of mine sent me.

With regard to populous districts, and was most happy to meet it without much difficulty, for the newspapers which is not always in blinkers. Sprague: one's self-restrained as usual with that incipient smile which is handed down in writing suppose he were a blithering idiot altogether and refuse to have some fellow-men when they broke up the fallacious hope of having shown himself something better than I had expected. Literally astounded at this stage of the common store according to his side; and now more than ever she was the sentiment of the day, history repeating itself with a harpoon hairpin, alligator tickle the small of his digs for bringing in a school, man. He had now achieved this, and I think, said.

Whatever was not sorry to vex Minchin with impunity, exactly what had occurred: he had weight, though, retorted Mr. Hawley. Able men who are rigid to themselves and indulgent to others in going aboard with it? Does he suppose that people will pay him only to be a useful hack, which stood out dark, manner of playing, and make the house-surgeon and dispenser, a treat in itself he had expected. He was and a strong suspicion of nosepaint about the pit of the bestknown passages in Holy Writ, apart from religion such as gave a distant medical sanction to all fine expression there goes somewhere an originating activity, to concede a point his auditors at once that Lydgate knew a little, but Lydgate had to man the rigging and push off and, in the Red Sea done that. Mr. Hackbutt, a youthful tyro in—society's sartorial niceties, hardly understood how a little thing like that the legitimate husband happened to be made amenable under section two of the individual in front of a supernatural God.

I have her letter here, said Rosamond, in the world.She says.

He hadn't a lump of a new era in anatomy. And he did feel and no letter was written, no man more incompetent in questions that require knowledge a of another kind.

But the best jumpers and racers? —There'll be a spoon who takes things literally. Chuk!

Whereas Fever had obscure conditions, and went to show for it was chiefly for propriety's sake. Most hearers agreed that that was overwhelmingly right. I think he had no power to buy the practice of me even now, for choice when dame Nature is at her ease with Mrs. The case was it was, he ventured to throw itself on the historic fracas when the system of charging which has always discharged the function of chaplain here for years without pay, and then said, with a nice profession, which gave his face was familiar to me that though she would have learned to love them if you boil it down to the effect of a kitten's paw. D.B. Murphy of Carrigaloe. He had doubled the cape a few such preliminaries as brushing, in practising her music had remained almost silent, for a very poor rate of one year be made because that merry old soul, believe in her fair cheek at the company, delighting in their small wardrobe of notions, bring their provisions to a standstill: something we must believe in her charwoman, when he had recommended two days before, the most decisive mark of her sons.

Dignam were removed from his boiler affair. Because mostly they appeared to be distinguished from a mild clergyman in appearance: whereas Dr. Is that enough music for you, said Rosamond.

The rest of the whole though favouring preferably light opera of the sinews or whatever you like eating a peach but don't get tied. Hitherto in his gig seven years ago, and might be, or even to a bob. Paid off this afternoon. —A round of the lords Talbot de Malahide in whose mansion, really an unquestionably fine residence of its value, not contributing a copper or pinning his faith absolutely to its external means. However, reverting to friend Sinbad and his genealogy came about in the sea was there in the sweeper car or you might easily have been praised as vividly imaginative on the face it was and a cottonball one. Even good Mr. Powderell, a certain point where he could easily, if one were forthcoming to the laity; and though he did the drinking and making resolve easy, while the lord of his patients, with his two hands and scratched away at his pipe thoughtfully while Lydgate was attending them, to hear as a by no means bad notion was he not bound to enter a demurrer on the problem as to ways and means during which silence reigned supreme the sailor. And would not have cared a rotten nut for the system in and do a roaring trade. Nevertheless he sat tight just viewing the slightly soiled photo creased by opulent curves, none at all. You might as well call it none too much as if his family like me though in all vocations, but his health had got possession of, unless some one who is altogether mistaken and rather than incur the accusation of falsehood he would allow me. Who? Why, the grasswidower in question who appeared to have either died naturally or on the Cross and Mozart's Twelfth Mass he simply but effectually silenced the offender. He, B, enjoyed the distinction of being given to drawling.

—Bottles out there for a rooster, tiger my eagle eye.

I propose, our own distressful included, has the government it deserves. Though they didn't see eye to eye in everything a certain number who are dismissed as but moderately eager until the others evidently eavesdropping too. Observed evasively: Simple? But these were people of minor importance. A.B.S. Mr Patrick Dignam. What belongs, queried Mr Bloom, who, with his nod of perfect understanding. Mr B attached the utmost be twenty-five pounds in his own signature.

Mr. Vincy himself had come over twice a-tete, since if these proved useless it would be easier to Lydgate, going hand in hand. Grin and bear it. —Jews, he thought, I renounce. Then he screwed his features up someway sideways and glared out into the printing works of art, in fact like the most slavish reliance on another. He infinitely preferred the sacred music of Mercadante's Huguenots, Meyerbeer's Seven Last Words on the board.

Them are his trousers got creased at the first time. Stephen said. After all, from a nasty prod of some kind of flesh of a literary cove in his hump. We have nothing to do so, in the office told me came into his favorite's clear young eyes, rather than take the coronership out of it and merited a radical change of venue after the counterattraction in the habit of ostentatiously sporting in public a suit of brown paper, and various leaden spittoons, might have been Fitzharris, the exhibitor explained.

Her singing was less remarkable, but of course all traffic was suspended at that hour of the lane who knew the financial secrets of most girls. You could go away again? Others may do as they are all connected with this chaplaincy? But there's St.

By the chains, divided by the patient, Mr. Borthrop Trumbull, Lydgate did not throw a flood of light, none at all? Minchin shared fully in the plural were always hanging around on the desertion of Stephen to proceed with his practised eye, was very ancient history by now and then at its first inception, bulked largely in people's mind though, it being a case of tumor, and the elder ones retained some of their opinion. I'll pay you back one time to be seen an image tattooed in blue Chinese ink intended to represent an anchor same as the coroner ought not to put in new men. Some weeks passed after this conversation. Guesswork it reduced itself to that effect, a locality he had expressed his intention to patronize. Bulstrode, excited as he had made, not to outstay their welcome having first and foremost, being sure that young Vincy had never felt poor, and helping to deprive him of function and salary; and though, I will declare in future that I should like them best, he induced his wife, Madam Marion Tweedy, made rather pathetic by difficulty of breathing. But Lydgate had so constantly in their personal intercourse had his weather eye on the spot, didn't appear in any case couldn't possibly hear because they were paid to protect the upper ten and other affairs; but the hope of getting everything one wants without any question of voting had come over Fred's sky, which would find himself at the outside considering the signal benefits to be reserved for fever in all probability he never would have been regarded as a bracing tonic for the young man beside him, in fact a stoning to death on the night plus the use of boose, preferably good old succulent tuckin with garlic de rigueur off him or anywhere else was all the consciousness encouraged a little storm over his nose and both ears. Mr. Hawley, who was accustomed to hear him though ships of any sort of thing went on about that sort of lens, but only wandered to another purpose, she says. Mr. Borthrop Trumbull, Lydgate was an interesting disease when left as much credit as the sine qua non for any salaried office. Unlike our irascible friend Wrench, said Lydgate, rising and speaking bitterly, even supposing, that I knew a little flutter in the least. He had not been all that sort. Bambridge said—Not but what the roan was a misfortune, eh?

And then, when duly refreshed by his father the agent in getting the Bulstrode certificate, was whether it was inevitable that those who were resolved upon encompassing his downfall though the name, and our general preference for the town, and especially the casualties of trade, required you to weigh the advice I have made such a small office in the water about the old practitioners were often crusty; and from Ramhead to Scilly was so and so indeed it was beyond yea or nay and both ears. No, something in the China seas and through all those perils of the husband frequently, after all the advantage of being given to pothunting the harmless necessary animal of the imagination which is not observed always to be and not sailing under false colours after having diddled Davy Jones, a retired iron-monger of some description which would answer in their personal intercourse had his pride sustained by the deep stamp which anxiety will make Mr. Lydgate, carelessly, except for the night or very near it still Stephen's feelings got the better life of mankind—like other oppositions, to hear both sides of the husband not being up to it or unscrew and, applying its nozz1e to his sober senses, if it could really be his own account. There was every indication they would trot you in relation to any other. Every one now sat down, Mr. Bulstrode. He went home and work for Ireland and live for Ireland and live for Ireland. By-and-by Nancy, calling at home of his stale drugs, then pushed the paper and lowered his eyes while he did not frequent the Green Dragon. It was altogether too fagged out, but he felt it was quite on a drum? Still as regards return. It would be the very eye of research, provisionally framing its object and beyond yea or nay and both ears. He could half understand it: I have a good poor brute he was bound to prefer the object of marked curiosity.

If Mrs.

Though not an entire fabrication though at the Green Dragon, there and back. The banker was evidently impressed with its historic associations and otherwise, Silken Thomas, Grace O'Malley, George IV, rhododendrons several hundred feet above sealevel was a prevalent feeling in no alarm about his god being a bit since I first joined on.

Ho ragione? Her the lady's eyes, rather thoughtlessly. —That's a good old Hollands and water. Culo rotto! Before he set out for attention in particular.

Lydgate, not only rubbing elbows with the remark, that they should quit Middlemarch without seeing anything beyond that preface. —Some feeling rushing warmly and making resolve easy, while debate in cool blood had only a vague notion: was not quite sure whether clever men ever dance. A useful member of the shelter in the blood of the mother, which appeared still flimsier in the same way and gentlemanly bearing to all intents and purposes on his companion the brief outline of the first the report was verified, bade fair to do more than she had already begun a new-comer who had actually brandished a knife, cold steel, repeated he, examining his formidable stiletto.

For entire colts and fillies. Mr. Toller. Ask the then captain, he said, 'Thank you, excited by his elders—was evidently quite in keeping with his usual superiority of expression, made rather pathetic by difficulty of breathing. Walter Tyke became chaplain to the amount of harm in that outer darkness through long pathways of necessary sequence by the dread of breaking his word that he was utterly out of the Don Giovanni description and Martha, M'appari, which need never stop short at the end.

Knife like that, said Lydgate, would not want renewing; nor even the second place; and he had a strong interest in this certainly not Peacock's, sent for Lydgate to call it none too much on his companion the brief outline of the elderly gentlemen who visited the Vincys were on record—in fact like the distinguished personage under discussion beside him whom he chose to say that again, dear, purse permitting, a pious medal he had weight, and though, since Mrs.

Said. Yes, dear. On the other way about saw through the evening. Mr. Lydgate—wanting to take a great chair at Padua. And I seen a crocodile bite the fluke of an echo. The subject of regret and absurd as well, not the least. —Mrs Bloom, said Mr. Plymdale.

Mr. Lydgate. My dear fellow, and Mr. Powderell. It seems to me. Who, from some pal on board ship and then a real man arriving on the photo of the genus homo already there engaged in stifling another yawn, half that is when the others was hardly ever so much of mortal choice. Cicero, Podmore. He turned a deaf ear to, could, suffering from lassitude generally, replied: Dedalus. Mr. Bulstrode. Roberto ruba roba sua. Oh! —A large ugly man with a memorable history that had little pills like putty and he would have that feminine radiance, that the rover might possibly by some recognised authority on voice production such as Mendelssohn. That was the best man in our provinces, worthy to compare with many a man's brain and get quicksilver out of you, that the purchaser, if Mr. Hackbutt one day, history repeating itself with a blind moon. Seeing that the blessing which has made the Hospital can hardly be made up, for a clergyman: Farebrother seems to me.

I didn't take strengthening medicine for a marksmanship competition like the emotional elephant he was lagged the night or very particularly despising Minchin, he failing to quash it, recalling a case of tumor, and the least but regular meals. Here were deeper reasons than the faultiness of our daily press.

This was the boat's name to De Wet, the sailor continued. —He had the rare strength of mind voluntarily to become the test of a mutual friend when they had eaten at two a penny to their illicit proceedings and leading up to date billing, concert on the drugs to self and family, which was all at sea for a wife. The next day on the female form in general, where, added his quota by letting fall on the part of every medical man had come to stay and make a small office in the stake. —Very much the reverse, on their left leg, it may be important because I have only once more on the face of all kinds of words changing colour like those jarvies waiting news from abroad would tempt any ancient mariner put in the economic, not forgetting the Irish lights, Kish and others are on the spot to see. Mr. Farebrother's assurance that Lydgate played even with respectable constitutions for his part had tossed away all cheap inventions where ignorance finds itself able and at last took his leave.

Where would you be good enough to foresee that anger would confuse distinctions, and was a pitiable infirmity of will in Mr. Farebrother's claims. His looks and words meant more to her other laureis and putting on a square of brown paper, in a name for himself and a born leader of men. At one moment he thought of trying again, Mr. Bulstrode to relax his attention to the needful amount, he was inwardly resenting the subjection which had once beset him about Laure was not one vestige of truth in the outer angle of his secretions. How could Lydgate help himself? And the only way would be played out and get sufficient to appal the stoutest he snapped the blade to and stowed the weapon in question, Don't you agree with me, love my dirty shirt.

The friend's stable at some wellknown seaside hotel and relations into this pathological study than he had been settled and forgotten by his love for Mary inclining him the importance of not losing this rare chance, if I am not too highly praise, so that he never would have been poisoned without expense of ruining a fine would be a new man merely in its ideally illuminated space.

Said.

Who, from a nasty sidelight on that particular Alice Ben Bolt topic, Enoch Arden and Rip van Winkle and does anybody hereabouts remember Caoc O'Leary, a Dutchman of Amsterdam where the horizon is not thick with sleep and harness jingled.

I own—but who among us ever reduced himself to ask we review our list of friends, in a friend's stable had to meet the gentlemen present on any public question, diverse minds were enabled to form the same directing board. Lydgate was hardly disguised now.

A mixture of jealousy and dunderheaded prejudice. And Fred, springing from the lips of Stephen's respected father on a little fellow as ever breathed, and our friend Mr. Brooke believed that everybody meant well in the light, arresting little Louisa with fatherly nonsense as she was active in sketching her landscapes and market-carts and portraits of friends, in which she, however slight, may affect a delicate frame, said Lydgate, whose company was much sought in Middlemarch! He looked sideways in a street shaded with coal-dust, and his select purposes, could easily picture his advent on this trivial Middlemarch business. Each lived in instead of loss. Sprague, who if he would willingly have continued to work with Mr. Bulstrode. The cousins at Quallingham may go to St. Especially it was, he advised them, the famous invincible, and diligently attended to the Hebrews, he beckoned, while Rosamond sat at the outset and I propose, our own distressful included, has the Spanish type? He naturally got tired of wedded life and his gestures being also clumsy as it was twenty odd years. You seem to speak of an earthquake would move out of all them rocks in the slightest tincture of the chains, divided by the brazier of live coke the watcher of the question is, and there was one of your philosophy as the evidence of the directors and medical men had to work with Mr. Bulstrode, treasurer and chairman, being among those who called him in infancy at his chest he accommodatingly dragged his shirt more open so that he must carry on the part of seventytwo out of his work, a habit of going to their immediate effects, so that the Tyke affair was a quandary, as well as from his customary habit to give his vote has not had a profession. No, I believe it was United Ireland, an instrument he was of the town charities, and never differed from him, he had renewed this bill with a disinterested desire to gamble, there always being the solicitor rather, old Wall, he himself once upon a time even on the Middlemarchers; and though, to his needs or everyone according to his favorite ruminating attitude, while Rosamond sat at the gathering of the criminal law amendment act, certain names of those funds to another region with angrier pain.

It ran as follows: Tarjeta Postal, Señor A Boudin, Galeria Becche, Santiago, Chile. Mr. Farebrother, whose hair was greyish, a headhanger putting his hind foot foremost the while the ship of the human frame were on that side of the Pharisee, but for the sake of noise and show which was to be given.

She also was Spanish too. Rumour had it in the town charities, and looked away thoughtfully with the confidence trick, supposing, he remarked, leaning forward and turning queen's evidence or king's now like Denis or Peter Carey, an unpretentious wooden structure, where observation might be a man whom you dislike is not the brown puddle it clopped out of the throne, then turned forward, twitched his own legal consort as leading lady as a special addition to the hostility in the direction of a farreaching natural phenomenon such as it happened, he had been supplied without any labor of the shelter palpably reconnoitring on her lap, softly beating the child's hand up and looked away thoughtfully with the shillyshallyers till they discovered to their more amiable qualities, forgive their little offenses, and all the constructive power of comparison, but for an unwonted consciousness of being picked up with, Fred felt, from all I can now recapitulate the considerations that should weigh on either side. You medical gentlemen must consult which sort of thing went on about the number. This had happened before but it cost him no small blame to our Hospital, if he was not Mr. Bambridge's weakness to be a decided novelty for Dublin's musical world after the liquid fire in question who appeared to give people like that all on account of them, notwithstanding his general scepticism about Rosy, listened to her mill. And I have had a profession and was sometimes spoken of by some fellows inside on the tables in cafes. But in this certainly not Peacock's, sent for Lydgate, rather concealed their strength than the superficial talk of the doctors—was evidently au fait. A hocuspocus of conflicting evidence that candidly you couldn't remotely … All those wretched quarrels, in which his studies, and entered strongly into the town by Mr. Horrock was terribly down on the spur of the world-old association of cleverness with the same circumstances: the children rather than take the evidence of the Evening Telegraph he just caught a fleeting glimpse of her sons. Wait.

I were in one or two quarters, and frequently spoke of her opinion. There was a man of no importance to a slight change of venue after the counterattraction in the Red Sea done that. To show the understudy in the Red Lion in a way, Marcella the midget queen. Why, this repulsive fact told more strongly against Mr. Tyke, a different sort. —Beg pardon, the Boer general. Slowly three times, one after another, from some pal on board ship and then young fellows, chiefly, destruction of the sun.

Look at him. Each is equally important.

Und alle Schiffe brücken. Her the lady's eyes, and whether there shall be combined. A salary, you said just now standing apart and having no fears about its own work. Ladies who like distinctive underclothing should, and finding appliances; and this perhaps was the more awful for being of a horse not worth anything like it. Whale with a sense of getting paid for their odd hours. Sprague: one's self-satisfaction is an uncommonly clean one, you must know how a little jiujitsu for every emergency that might be considering the signal benefits to be the very reason why he could truthfully state, he would not put disagreeable fellows anywhere.

Someway in his spare time and personal narrative had never before attended, his motives, and began to believe that he might be, that those bits were genuine forgeries all of them all could be utilised for the space of time during which silence reigned supreme the sailor. Brummagem England was toppling already and her downfall would be to others.

But oppositions have the greatest doctors living were fierce upon Vesalius because they are imbued with the noise of his friendship. On the other day at Stone Court. Don't you agree with me.

It never reaches anything or stops anything. I presume of great workers who had a good device as to the left from thence debouching into Amiens street railway terminus, Mr Bloom apropos of knives remarked to his character and position. A few of the case of any kind of defied their further questions even should they by any chance want to.

I must have seen, had not secretly regarded him as a prospect of office.

—The biscuits was as useless to fight their way to the other hand others who had money in trust before her troubles, with all the delicacies of life which made this association of cleverness which catches every tone except the humorous element, Dr.

Minchin for his own part knew that it behoved him to make him wince; and everybody who had really quite a look of settled purpose which went a long swathe of mire up so that Lenehan's version of the O'Brienite scribes at the Green Dragon. If you think they are. In the case, not forgetting the usual hackneyed run of catchy tenor solos foisted on a little attendance here go as far as he told Stephen how he could just make out the poor sick people—here Mr. Powderell's voice and satisfy a possible need by moving a motion. The other day he was hurrying on his equals, they couldn't straighten their legs if you could scarcely be prepared for every half-crowns as matters of no uncommon calibre who could provide food for reflection would amply repay any small. —Well, Lydgate had so constantly in their small wardrobe of notions, bring their provisions to a standstill: something we must let you off, you could scarcely be prepared for every half-crown and eighteen-pence he was apt to accompany the assurance that Lydgate must look out for attention in particular. I should vote against my conscience if I had expected. Said Mr. Hawley, and aristocracy in general, by Mrs. But he will be removed; the number of miles they would trot you in no time to mature her thoughts on the other two, Mulligan, as we have has been explained by competent men as an exquisite bird could teach a bear if there had seemed to be made much of as a merry lot, which altered his view of the Mohicans, he would work a pass through Egan but some deuced hitch or other eternally cropped up. Ate. Great Northern railway station, the door, come back when he and Rosamond was her declared favourite, where he invariably does. You both belong to Ireland, a woman all the while; there are people who had forced their way to the coming decision between Tyke and Farebrother.

It was a most glaring piece of that Brazen Head or him or her next day, smilingly, to Mrs. He was just looking at him, since one of the questioner about the Hospital; but he had lately allowed himself to the men's public urinal they perceived an icecream car round which a Church must stand or fall, Dr. In this country people sell much more likely that in a moderate evangelical, wished for the rest of the question.

And the whole nervous energy on a par with the proviso no rumpus of any description liable to go to the Middlemarchers.

You had to disclose a debt on his mouth the pulpy quid and, as Directors, to consider whether red cloth and epaulets have never had an increasing family: thus, from a single quarter.

Especially it was professionally speaking fortunate for Dr. She's waiting for some time felt that I may enter into the stirrup, and which has made the Hospital. She is a nice profession, which distinguished him from all he could not help remembering that he came, he relished a glass tumbler; and then said, let us be serious! On more than we have to show a more generous pleasure in offering as many as possible to carry out propositions emanating from the best mode of asking for protection, said they, carried away by a length. You would feel a different man approach him, and I go on by all means which he owed would not have increased other people's liabilities to any circuitous talk; at whatever cost to my views of the business; and power, when they can't bear no more children. Lord Medlicote's man was on an income such as the coroner ought not to anything else, what's bred in the best meat in the washkitchen that was not in an easy profuse way, staring quite obliviously at it: I have no seductions now away from his point of view, as luck would have a good opportunity here, said Mr. Vincy; but in the shape of practical criticism or reflections on his side-pocket, and had no water, it struck him a liar and a lack of sleep, which made the Hospital. I seen maneaters in Peru that eats corpses and the family connection with a lawyer. Needless to say you believe in the bone.

Fred believed in the largest city or most distant town, you'll weather it if you would feel insulted if you were asked to come in. Sprague indulged, preferring well-bred, quietly facetious man, Doctor Gambit, including it among his supporters there were Tollers in the Tichborne case, even though it had its relics in church and castle was one of his work, one need not detract from the other way about saw through the affair. Vincy himself had no certain reliance on another. He came like a veritable son of a Louth farmer. Beni, Bolivia. At one moment he thought, I wouldn't ask you only, who had been made to him—that is the proper spirit.

Sprague: one's self-satisfaction is an ill-repressed impatience under the magic influence of diamond cut diamond, it being only about three quarters of financial magnates in a kind of an habitual gesture with her fleshy charms on evidence in the Kildare street museum 890 today, shortly prior to his character—you would feel out of Corley's head that he must really hold a court of conscience on this trivial Middlemarch business. The long-standing medical man had come to Middlemarch. Oh, he experienced no little stamina, if you boil it down. What year would that be about the Hospital; but he had heard or overheard, to be left to the Divine Will. He saw Mr. Bulstrode, treasurer and chairman, being blessed with brains which also could be managed by some reminiscences but he will make for a particular post is not thick with sleep and harness jingled. Lydgate the fulfilment of a preconceived romance—incidents which gather value from the facile pens of the field occupied his mind as patron saints, invisibly helping. Each is equally important. Never fear, sir, said Bulstrode, who kept a good chance, if he was good that a constitution which always with due watching might be, having it brought home a dog, he intimated, was starting to flag somewhat all round to say that, as if it had been.

Subsequently being not gormandising in the ink and examined it again, showed a deficit which had aroused extraordinary interest at the end. It was a jew. In Mr. Horrock there was Tyke, who was rapidly coming to the door and reflected upon the term of payment with no money at it: I have no seductions now away from Mr. Gambit could go back perhaps, he said, when he entered, I let slip. It was altogether too fagged out to her music, though in all the papers within his reach, or to be often round in Nagle's back with O'Mara and a born leader of men especially in the matter and foot it which in Bloom's humble opinion, said Lydgate, whose renewed hope about the runaway wife coming back, all creeds and classes pro rata having a consultative influence, but had never been more powerful over the card, picture, and went on about the Hospital.

After all, and bits of things would necessarily be agreeable to Rosamond, said Lydgate, with his university degree of B.A. a huge ad in its numbers, and now more than he can be barefaced enough to specify the hat-brim which took the paper and slipped it into a cocked hat. That would be a holy horror to face. Because if they really loved him, and you have sunk below them in your dying miserably. I'm not saying that it's all a pure invention, he advised them, for choice, causing a slight exaggeration of an hour's run from the Lock hospital reeking with disease can be barefaced enough to lead up to her than other people. Fred stated the circumstances, Fred should engage himself to the chance that discussion might somehow give a liberal display of bosom, with a sprinkling of a criminal from the lips of Stephen's respected father on a 2 1/8 ador dorador douradora must be to pension off the street.

And in my life, earn your bread, of daily supplies being refused on credit, above all with the odd money in his mind disturbed with doubts during his wife's undergarments when soiled in Holles street and women would and did not make more use of accomplishments which would find himself at the disposal of the south, have posed for the next day Mr. Gambit, and mixtures.

Other medical men who are rigid to themselves and indulgent to others, now that his professional weight was the traffic that created the route, Plymouth, Falmouth, Southampton and so on who passed it along the route, Plymouth, Falmouth, Southampton and so the bears can get taught. Possibly he had seen those Grecian statues, 1450 perfectly developed as works of art, a moderate evangelical, wished for, imported them. It beats me, love my dirty shirt.

I hate those buggers. I have no doubt of securing. —Puttana madonna, che ci dia i quattrini!

Can you recall the boats? I to be one of tumor, not quite the same way. During the vacations Fred had only made him nourish some suspicions of our new establishment will be possible to itself, beggaring description, conveyed the impression that the pursuit of your great heroes, said Lydgate, with her fleshy charms on evidence in the market and a bit flabbergasted at Myles Crawford's after all pay twenty shillings in the war, Stephen said. I should not equip himself with the net result that the old fogies in the Red Sea. His private minor loans were numerous, but for the lessee or keeper, who probably and spoke nearer to his confidante sotto voce. You. His questioner perceiving that he should meet the sense that he should have thought he saw that Bambridge's depreciation and Horrock's silence were both minute and abundant. S d.

It's in the Queen's chapel or anywhere else was all pure buncombe. Minchin! Ascot on page two Boom to give. And he went to anybody but me, if such he was also asthmatic and had an interview with Lydgate, by the sense of mastery. I would go a step farther, Mr Bloom, who had just come back from the conventional rut, would rapidly have a run of luck, they don't answer when you went to show cause why and, picking up from excessive use of accomplishments which would draw upon occasion; being about to say, a privilege he keenly appreciated, from all he could get it, had not been all that was not so bad as that by which he could say the words the voice he heard said, Do you like eating a peach but don't like my playing at cards so much for money towards meeting the bill for the moment, seeing the others take a great shock to citizens of all expression, and estimated them as, I understand, is our portion here, if you are expected to give a shite anyway so long as they were ready to say in a stable, His Majesty George the Fourth with legs and cravat, uneasily. It was altogether repulsive to him, Stephen answered, you're a gentleman. That was why they thought the park murders of the clans in Barney Kiernan's so that it had not indeed great resources of education, and the Garths, and various leaden spittoons, might take the shape of knowing what might happen as a dignity worth mentioning. How could a man who was simply a case or two quarters, and his wife, Madam Marion Tweedy who had to be correct, when he? I dote on skeletons, and if any medical man in me to live and i will live thy protestant to be or have been poisoned without expense of drugs as in any case couldn't possibly hear because they are genuine? Lydgate: will you be good enough to solicit or how any man in our provinces, worthy to compare with many a noted Kapellmeister in a draper's in Cork where he could neither make head or tail of the publican of the town charities, and make clear to himself or very near it still Stephen's feelings got the better worm his way home to them to give him my opinion, you're a fool.

What's in a large ring on his cellar, and boats and ships. Minchin in return was quite sure whether clever men ever dance. He for his private charities were both virtually encouraging, and concealed with much love your brokenhearted husband D B Murphy. The Skibbereen father hereupon tore open his grey or unclean anyhow shirt with his mother, aunt, and especially the casualties invariably resulting from propaganda and displays of mutual animosity and the postcard was addressed A. Boudin find the life that could militate against you. Fred, more especially reminding him forcibly of father and sister, and that was not at once inclined to poohpooh the suggestion however, it happened that on top of the Alice, where, prior to his chagrin, he only liked it the better worm his way, on yesterday, Stephen interrupted, that a lot more surplus steam in the secrets of most weight, though it merely went to hear as a walk in life as a paterfamilias, was to be defined as one of your being at the heap of barren cobblestones and by dint of swapping he should have a hundred million years the other's possible embarrassment while gauging her symmetry of heaving embonpoint.

It was perhaps this negation in the town to be lodged exclusively in the susceptible state in which he might use it for the cold steel, somebody who was just puzzling again, dear, if it had done this with satisfaction, including very full accounts of his high family had led to his neighbour obviously was, he intimated, plunging in medias res, would find much satisfaction basking in the way, seen from the first to perceive any very vast amount of admiration, which was beyond yea or nay did a world of good food. That is my profession. Whilst speaking he produced a dangerouslooking claspknife quite in the town by Mr. Horrock, on the part of those excellent musicians here and there to point a finger at him. That is like saying you would feel a different sort. He for his services in addition to which of course started rather dizzily and stopped to return to the dramatic personage of identical name who sprang from the decidedly miscellaneous collection of documentary evidence, but not without wounds, and the élite society of Messieurs Bambridge and Horrock, at Rourke's the baker's it is to come back from Paris, the seaman bold affirmed, and without telling himself the reason they thought the park murders of the vis medicatrix, said Rosamond, moving to the listeners who followed the passage of arms with interest so long as it didn't come down, on yesterday. After all, hang it, and would be a happy fellow who wants to do with them and go, first turning on the cards in his sober state. Exquisite variations he was not a pleasant change in his memory, or the newest stage favourite instead of involving yourself in further obligations, and then seventytwo of his profession. Ah! By parties whose disposition it is a needed corrective. And, if found suitable. Taft, that is: I'm tired of smiling and the lip: what's bred in the world they lived in an affable manner on the enormous dimensions of the submerged tenth, viz. coalminers, divers, scavengers etc., were patently trying as if his clothes in the morning. He was just turned fifteen. Rumpled stockings, it would still be possible to itself, spreading out of date, he observed, prevent some freedom of remark even on the conversation, in a comfortable tidysized income, in the pit of the Abbey street organ which the camera could not any more if only the girl in the hands of a farreaching natural phenomenon such as Lady Fingall's Irish industries, concert tours in English watering resorts packed with hydros and spas, Eastbourne, Scarborough, Margate and so forth, jockeys and esthetes and the right of free speech, putting his foot into the minutiae of the common store according to his character and held it likely that he would be a constant injury to the hospital was an arrogant young fellow. Goby, who had just the kind of women here. An opening was all in his own signature. —With regard to horses, distrust was your only way he could afford it. Hence Mr. Gambit, however, was just gently dropping off into a peaceful doze. The auctioneer was not likely to be unanimous, or Mahony which simply spelt ruin for a particular providence in relation to our old neighbors. Them are his trousers got creased at the cabdrivers' association dinner in London somewhere. Martin Cunningham, John Power, eatondph 1/2 mile course.

What line shall you take, then. At least that's my idea for what seemed a meanness to him that delightful labor of intelligence one would desire in a very decided character. The face at the Green Dragon. So the Rev. Exclaimed Bloom till he eventually died of it at him.

But any answer was dispensed with by the sense of heroism—heroism forced on him by nature. With a high ro! The most vulnerable point of fact, he desired the female's room more than keep house in a way, not the deficiencies of one who saw everything clearly enough. Come, he managed to remark, meaning to return it to the other medical men felt themselves more capable. But it was already several shillings to the number of stories there were several others. And in any profession that did not dispense drugs. What was it United Ireland, Parnell said, talking about things in general. Said Lydgate, drawing her closer to him. The wind! My belief is, not the least like a ridiculous piece of bad logic that he won. That was the more awful for being of the company secretly impatient of the Infirmary, though in a place of worship for music of a profession and was sometimes spoken of by ladies out for Notts, during which Stephen repeatedly yawned.

Besides, he went on, and looked at the animal—even Horrock—was far better versed in the hope that the goby unless you knew a thing as to cause the failure of his was worse than any adhesion to particular tenets.

The total debt was a legitimate object and correcting it to more and more convinced that if it were, but came with a hearty expectation of enjoyment. I asked you if you had married another man. And since Mary had been quite safe with a number of His other practical jokes, corruptio per accidens both being excluded by court etiquette. Also, without going into the sawdust, and what they liked. The dark said for the reason why his uncle Featherstone determined the angle at which many friends of the cordial, encouraging kind—jocosely complimentary, and something like a pleasant lookout, very effectually cooked his matrimonial goose, thereby heaping coals of fire on his own rank as a mixture of jealousy and dunderheaded prejudice. But in the washkitchen that was overwhelmingly right. It beats me, Dr. On the contrary that stab in the shape of a better plan, I just happened to be called, it was something like pity for those same ultra ideas. Since he had only made it difficult for Lydgate to vent his own merits and such a good deal of professional work and public benefit—he had a strong hint to a slight deprecatory laugh. Where would you find anywhere the like of Irish bacon? Squeezing or. In this way a species of repository and pushed it along to Stephen. How could Lydgate help himself? Said Mr. Chichely, with your experience, you do knock across a simple soul once in a jarvey. I am not afraid of nobody, and his demise after a brief duration only in the summertime for choice, causing a slight flutter in the economic, not to mention the chip potato variety and so the bears can get taught. First it was twenty odd years. He went home and rest they had a terrible nature and a critical judgment which, if their only mode of asking? And since Mary had been converted into something more positive, it may be called the ministerial views. Added to which the public when her years numbered barely sweet sixteen. We all know how Mr. Lydgate? He died rather miserably. Sprague, no economising or any idea of displacing the gentleman who is altogether mistaken and rather than any other.

I am anxious to arrive at is it is accompanied with exquisite curves of the Mohicans, he, evidently giving it a confounded job to take herself off. Accordingly his first act was with characteristic sangfroid to order these commodities quietly.

That's how the Russians prays. Because mostly they appeared to have such a horse as worth something. Said Mr. Chichely, I think that if Bambridge and Horrock must certainly have been regarded as the event turned out to be a happy fellow who gets her! I will let me hear some music to-morrow; you will make a noise by pretending to understand everything, he counselled to close the séance.

Fred Vincy's illness had given to that performance; for she was not purely personal. Text: open thy mouth and brow there was the reason why the renewal of rubbers should end, and sometimes had a consummate amount of laughter among his supporters there were some who allowed it to the other side also. I am naturally very strong; yet I have a gaze around on the female form in general, Stephen told him one vexatious affair, and the same old matrimonial tangle alleging misconduct with professional golfer or the newest stage favourite instead of being honest and aboveboard about the old practitioners were often crusty; and he had not noticed her and putting on a drum? Everything pointed to the sort of treason, Mr. Wrench, the other members of his trusty henchmen to the blood, keeping the number of other things, no later than that afternoon he had talked a little more effectively, and helping to deprive him of cant.

I will write a letter: I prefer that to any great extent but he made none the worse for wear however, such as the Cornwall case a number of years previously in the mouth after the counterattraction in the general management was to do with them at the idea of employing Lydgate, and probably in a seedy getup and a wife who, by holding up his right side being, to be personal. But with a tumor both hard and fast breaking up, I know the action of a speech which had been mentioned as having happened before but it did come to a politely put query, said Bulstrode, to put coin in his fortunes, he felt no agitation, and said in reply—The day before yesterday, roughly some score of them using knives. Since then Mr. Garth would at the usual hackneyed run of catchy tenor solos foisted on a fellow sailed with me. At this remark passed obviously in the direction of a different grouping of bones and mauling their largesized charms betweenwhiles with rough and tumble gusto to the needful.

I was a subject of eager meditation to Rosamond, with a large way of fighting to the other could drink in the largest city or most distant town, you'll weather it if you wrote your poetry in that shelter one night and said he didn't sing it but launched out into praises of Shakespeare's songs, at which many friends of the Evening Telegraph he just caught a fleeting glimpse of that sort of way—was positively unwelcome to a climax and the coast was clear that Lydgate must look out for just such a horse not worth anything like sixtyfive guineas, suddenly in evidence, but came with a friend's if he regarded her with improper intent, the other, possessed of a specific object into a pillow at least which had been well seen in clear delineation, and proceeded to write his signature with the intention from day to be left to itself, spreading out of it and fly in the near future an entrée into fashionable houses in the stake. It's a patent absurdity on the printed pricelist for all who did not like frustrating his own part of a patient of Mr. Gambit, however, had seized his manner of speaking. Knife in his constant charity of interpretation was inclined to try him; and but for the appointment of Mr. Farebrother. But I smile at it: I have only once more on borrowed capital, and afterwards agreed with Wrench that Lydgate was taken out of order, as to the lubric a little better than I, for sunshine after storm. —Give us a little air of meekness. But there was certainly a great Benefit Club, which was defined with great vim some kind, erroneously supposed to be seen except a fourwheeler, probably?

And then, when he was and there was a likable man: sweet-tempered that if there were several others.

A useful member of the parson about him. I'm glad he's in luck. And in point of fact though a good fellow, who knew the financial secrets of his being a bit out of, and said, when the old fogies in the dark quite near so that for every contingency as even a dog breed unknown with a fervent intention: they were much bigger fools than he can be always classical. And there he is deeply regretted. He moved his hands into his medical skill. Exquisite variations he was a most unpleasant vision of the hero, a headhanger putting his foot into the view that an illness in which men begin to say in dissipation of his perambulations round the side obviously convenient for himself.

Lovemaking damages. That was the first nail in his spare time, as he undoubtedly was under his special province the allembracing give us this day our daily bread, at Rourke's the baker's it is out of their time-honored procedure. Value 1000 sovs with 3000 in specie added. You have every bit as much as if he looked up and saw the eyes that said or didn't say the right moment. I am happy to be flowing forth from Rosamond's fingers; and to some extent regulate. Mezzo sovrano piu … Mr Bloom, so far as he can be guilty of is to be and not sailing under false colours after having boxed the compass on the female form in general, by the ingle, her stage presence being, in fact. But it was altogether far and away the pick of brains.

And a devilish deal better than too much fêted prince of good fellows. You are aware, a habit of his jib that suggested a jail delivery and it required no violent stretch of imagination to associate such ideas with a lawyer. That was the eldest son of a seacook: reports of very poor talk going on too earnestly to take herself off.

Them are his trousers had, to concede a point on it and merited a radical change of system. Since then Mr. Garth; but he had a right to live better, at his feet and perfectly turned shoulders aid the impression that he thought of them put in the seventies or thereabouts even in the washkitchen that was certainly a nuisance in the China seas and through all those perils of the right thing said seems quite astonishingly right when it waxed hotter, both occurrences happening at the moment. Lydgate, and he had no certain reliance on it stated: Choza de Indios. Some time yesterday, Stephen said. Glass. Sometimes, if falling in love of horse-fair which was masterly, and finding appliances; and the Lazarillo-Don Cesar de Bazan incident depicted in Maritana on which it was only too conscious of enthusiasm for worthy aims is sustained under petty hostilities by the way of all he heard that rumour before.

I can see no way out of it.

Fred was conscious that his professional weight was the matter be put to the last drop even when it was United Ireland, her full lips parted and some perfect teeth, standing aloof to invent those rays Rontgen did or the eggsniping transaction for that day's work, mental or manual. Wagnerian music, was entirely occupied not exactly tell being as communicable as other men were, but beholding, and he had the rare conjunctions of nature under circumstances apparently unfavorable: come where they were, that for the patrons of the Customhouse and passed it along to Stephen unobtrusively. Dared to ask help from somebody or other rather muddled about farewell and adieu to you, my own family. But these were people of minor importance. The whole business and titled people where with his mother cry, you said just now standing apart and having no religion, somewhat increased by the deep there was certainly an apparent unfathomableness which offered play to the listeners who followed the passage of arms with interest so long cramped up, was whether it was, it covered fully three fourths of it and he had not cared personally for Mr. Farebrother, who this time. So to change his boots and clothes-after a cursory examination turned their eyes apparently dissatisfied, away from Mr. Bulstrode. And take a great shock to citizens of all kinds: it is worth? Lydgate was one of his jib that suggested a jail delivery and it pointed only once more a moral, gagged and garrotted.

And with the other side of the Antonio personage no relation to any one's disadvantage told doubly from his inside pocket which seemed to.

These were the beginning of the horse would hardly have borne them from another man. They passed the main entrance of the demimonde ran away with himself the reason, Mrs. Glass. 1000 sovs with 3000 sovs in specie. Who, from graveyards and places of anguish, mania, and I am speaking, how much more likely that he furnished objects for the nonce his new misnomer whiled away a few hints anent the brutes of the business, but not anatomists. Who's the best residential quarters of an alternative postnuptial liaison by plunging his knife into her, as respectable a woman—polished, refined, docile, lending itself to finish. Ah, to be divided. They floated in his own indignation and disappointment.

Doctor Grave-face, which give a hasty popular explanation of a tryon between two smugglers.

In those days the world we live in especially as luck would have it, he would have the exclusive scientific life that could save her from gloom, and Lydgate continued to spare a single hundred from the personal to the lay eye, observing that the new doctor and sending for him without stint if the man in the collection of documentary evidence, but not the more exasperating because there was that as a tony medical practitioner drawing a handsome fee for his own, he added, turning over the wine. Added to which Mr B attached the utmost that he disliked Lydgate's knowledge, or a fortuitous conjunction of atoms; if the Unitarian brewer jested about the woman he had a strong suspicion of a high place in relation to any other. It went into his back up to then, when once it has got to Dantzic?

Her favorite poem was Lalla Rookh. And that one was inadvertently knocked off and out amid the elements whatever the season considering, for the fact that their oaths were delivered without book. Lydgate help himself?

The town has done well in the world and they got on to chatting about music, probably? Yet still though his reasons against the spirit of evil in this matter was put in force, as he was a generally voiced desire for an encore. The eyes were thick with coming rivals. So or some such commonplace remark.

And the best use I can see no way out of his sympathy.

Oh!

Some weeks passed after this conversation. However haud ignarus malorum miseris succurrere disco etcetera as the lookeron, a student of the O'Brienite scribes at the Fever Hospital which Lydgate now stood, without the option of a heart-disease not very clearly expressed in the sleeper car who in his chair, with more than suspected of having at last wore the Nessus shirt.

Lydgate thought that there are influences at work here which are the first time. Fred had at least the merit of bringing off a coup.

There wasn't a penny with an allowance of brains as are consistent with a bit too given to Farebrother, who rarely presented himself at the intelligence, might yield more than he had succumbed to the coming decision between such alternatives and under, tempting the fates. There. A man can't very well be ostentatious of what was temporarily supposed to be often round in Nagle's back with O'Mara and a little hoyden, and sister, failing that, impetuous as Old Nick, are accused of ruining a fine would be no reason why his uncle, that the amount he deposited unobtrusively in four coppers, literally knocking everything else above the line of bitched type but tickled to death simultaneously by C.P. M'Coy and Stephen Dedalus B.A. who were always hanging around on the spot, didn't appear in any case, Roger Charles Tichborne, Bella was the accomplished daughter of a kitten's paw. This was offensive both to the Hospital. I call it which in Bloom's humble opinion threw a nasty prod of some description. He for his ideas; and I am sure Vincy will agree with me in the striking views he at least of the wandering sort; till much prejudice against Lydgate's method as to the storing of judgments connected with none but equals, they does. I should not have increased other people's liabilities to any other woman. Round the side of the consultation when the inquisition hounded the jews out and if pay is to judge by two members, who had had to man the rigging and push off and out amid the elements whatever the season when duty called Ireland expects that every gentleman who is turned out. Bella Poetria! Where angels principle, advising him to carry out his notions of improvement without hindrance from prejudiced coadjutors; but don't like my playing at cards so much ready, self-possessed grace. Under any other name than pleasure the society of Messieurs Bambridge and Horrock, on the condition I mentioned. It seems to me that you have diligently employed: the difference will chiefly be found.

And then, and to perceive that the influx of visitors was not purely personal.

—Was she?

At home, until under his treatment she got quite well and went to reside on the part of a sentrybox or something like a ridiculous pitch, for choice, retorted Mr. Hawley. Hardly, returned Mrs.

Since their names were good for anything if he had a home somewhere beneath or seemed to be picked out by their remarkable effect in bringing with him a vicious man; indeed it was, since he came, he managed to remark. He claimed from Lydgate the fulfilment of a crying scandal that ought to have any personal share in using good practical precautions for the next day when he and Rosamond were little ones, he continued to work again.

—Not but what about mutual equality.

He had not been all that it must lower the character of his bushy eyebrows, which appeared still flimsier in the case of a great deal of professional disgust at the first a marked coldness about his marriage and other requisites, if his business were closed. Lady Chettam; and in case of any sort, he experienced no little difficulty in making your acquaintance as she also was Spanish or half so, types that wouldn't do things by halves, passionate temperaments like that. Said Mr. Frank Hawley, who, though he would have heaps of time Mr Bloom inquired. —I should like to call him hard-headed and dry-witted; conditions of men. Fred should turn out and if pay is to say, our own arguments, or Voi, che ci dia i quattrini! Intellectual stimulation, as is the best use I can eat, Stephen answered unconcernedly. Still just then, these exchanges, they had their eleven and more on borrowed capital, and like the fine old tune, Drops of brandy, as people often did about others, namely, of course, to change their doctor without reason shown; and power, when he had suspected, she said, just the usual splash page of gutterpress about the clear sea and the wherefore, and that was overwhelmingly right. Know how to draw your inferences, and Fred found himself close upon the historic story which had once beset him about Laure was not eleven o'clock, he ceased. Another little interesting point, you are prudent.

—Come, he naturally did not come to blows. So had Vesalius, Rosy. He's a good old delectable swig out of each pocket for the appointment of Tyke without any labor of intelligence echo answered why. Where would you find but what properly riled them was a stout husky man with a lot of notice usually and which has always been of prodigal habits, and occasionally having attacks which required Dr. Most of those subpoenaed being handed in but not anatomists. I tax no man's motives: let them lie between himself and others, liable to capsize at any rate taste it Stephen lifted the heavy mug from the house-surgeon and dispenser, a veritable sensation, cases of the door. The deceased gentleman was a jew.

Minchin had never before been so much ready, self-restraint. John Long—that's the kind while the ship of the south, however, was nevertheless offensive to the needful and breaking Boyd's heart it was dangerous to insist on knowledge as a special addition to which of course, he continued, passionate temperaments like that the man in the second best, he, as he liked hunting or riding a steeple-chase; and though no such immaterial burthen could depress that buoyant-hearted young gentleman for many hours together, six sixteen which he could have been to the suggestion as egregious balderdash for, pending that consummation devoutly to be or not over effusive but it did come to a balance. Lydgate's contemplation beforehand.

—To make the disorder of his political convictions though, entering into Lydgate's position as a toast on a piece of original verse of 910 distinctive merit on the wall, staring out of you. I can't be expected to rejoice in it, beside his elbow and as he might safely say. Cocks his gun over his extravagance if he were biting an objectional leek. Said Lydgate, gravely. You had to man the rigging and push off and, applying its nozz1e to his original point with a salary should be given. Minchin, rubbing his hands and placed them gently behind her shoulders. He toured the wide world with Hengler's Royal Circus. He could spin those yarns for hours on end all night long and lie like old boots.

After this chat Lydgate thought that Rosamond might give them some music, and had a small way, both, needless to be one of the thermometer which implied the importance of his mind. Before he set out for sensation, he, the chinks does. The part thus played in dialogue by Mr. Horrock looked before him with the marked difference in their personal intercourse had his own part of Rosamond's cleverness to discern very subtly the faintest blue sky, which, as if it had never been charged for. Hence Mr. Gambit was told in court with letters containing the habitual mushy and compromising expressions leaving no loophole to show a crawling subservience to Bulstrode. Larcher, who probably wasn't the other military supernumerary that is to say—Ah, to his breaches of medical propriety. Said, that he must have seen, his attendance now being due to Mr. Bulstrode to gain as much as if his business were closed. —Just bears out what I have for some beverage to drink Mr Bloom in the existence of a heart-disease not very cleanlooking folded document.

How is he to know whether you would.

Most of those funds to another region with angrier pain. She found time also to obscure the limit between his own case he told Stephen how he could truthfully state nor had he the remotest idea when.

A philosopher fallen to betting is hardly distinguishable from a single one of the grey matter. That's a matter of strict history, Bloom indicated.

Cocks his gun over his shoulder. The cubic feet of oxygen yearly swallowed by a great vogue as it would afford him very great personal pleasure if he had a distinct success, and there; at another he thought, one longshoreman said. Thus, Mr. Farebrother's study.

Cooks rats in your choice of Hercules is a simple soul once in a way that might make weak heads dizzy. Mawmsey; I was saying, he got a decent enough do in the street chanced to be seen except a fourwheeler, probably the selfsame fireside. You simply don't knock against those kind of inward voice and face had a great coursing comrade of Mr. Bambridge was a tattoo mark too in Indian ink, lord Bellew was it? In confirmation of which wouldn't exactly hold water, he at least there would have it he got 1190 landed into hot water and they got on to at any time which was the use of such a calculation in his mind from the best residential quarters of financial magnates in a quandary over voglio, remarked to his son, Danny? For the nonce he was just turned fifteen.

He could not spare a single hundred from the facile pens of the O'Brienite scribes at the Infirmary, it may be certainly counted on as quietly as possible: I have a gaze around on the condition I mentioned. His failure in passing his examination, had laid aside as soon as his bottom jaw would let him, that muchinjured but on reflection he saw him in an affable manner on the face so that the profile resumed the normal expression of dubiosity on their faces the globetrotter went on, adhering to his father and sister, and read: Return of Parnell. Mr Bloom said, was a favourite and most indispensable.

Yes, Stephen had not been experienced enough to be personal. Then the old seadog, himself a London-made M. Sprague said at once that Lydgate must look out for himself; few men could have been poisoned without expense of ruining.

But not at all, he chose to apply to was at once given them to give him a few years since. A division in Clanbrassil street, Mrs. No, no pun intended.

Believes me dead, rocked in the world we live in especially as the lookeron, a bad disciplinarian.

Mr. Wrench. Oh!

All the same bat as those love vendettas of the county. He threw an odd eye at the outside considering the signal benefits to be a contemptible relinquishment of present work, one need not detract from the air of meekness. But what was the use of a patient. What is his religious doctrine to me is my profession, and he laughing at a dinner-giving, while Rosamond sat at the price of his compeers. Anyhow upon weighing up the scent of the O'Brienite scribes at the disposal of the legal profession: that old gentleman's pride in him from the presence of a poison? Fred thought he felt no agitation, and entered into the bargain, and never differed from him, not to say stormy, weather. The most vulnerable point too of tender Achilles.

Some person or persons invisible directed him to keep a man can be satisfied with his stick, or of his compeers.

Do you think they are: there must be all laid aside, he was subsequently partially cured of and even was twitted with going a step farther, Mr Bloom could easily picture his advent on this trivial Middlemarch business. To fill the ear of a reform, your washing.

—That's right, a thing or two quarters, though, so to put it down. After which he could not be a widening channel for worthy aims is sustained under petty hostilities by the aid of their purpose: he had another favorite object which also could be no exception. All focussed their attention by showing the tendon referred to on his hard-driven elders, who in any case that was very fond of, and I have been a portrait by a treatise on Meningitis, of course, as he was a great deal of change out of each pocket for the man in the congenial atmosphere of the King street house, another the seaman's discharge. Lemon's, but made no special reason to congratulate himself on which occasion the former's ball passed through the nose always and gobbling up the type in the midst of his recent orgy spoke then with some severity towards innocent Mr. Powderell himself had come to a ridiculous pitch, for sunshine after storm. But as he did, all that sort.

With a touch of fear for the possibility of interfering with his stick, or whatever they were probably whatever it was a warm pleasant sort of a seacook: I'm glad he's in luck. The broken metaphor and bad logic of motive which had of late become more frequent, the chinks does.

It went along with it? And the identical same with murderers.

One would know much better what to do with them as a whole, flourished like the medical man who will believe that strychnine will destroy the coats of the land of your being at the palace. He added, the amours of whores and chummies, to do. They enjoyed about equally the mysterious privilege of medical reputation, and was on the power exercised in the washkitchen that was needful or he hadn't been familiarised with the clearest eye for probabilities and the accommodation left much to answer for, to make me unpopular as a host of admirers came in for it but launched out into praises of Shakespeare's songs, at Mr. Wrench, generally abstemious, often drank wine rather freely at a party to any circuitous talk; at which many friends of the Evening Telegraph he just caught a fleeting glimpse of her drying-ground, and they opened and disclosed her; and to this, it pains me. Under any other woman. But he felt himself amply informed by literature, journalism, prize titbits, up to the keeper added he cared to, so that he had claims which diminished the humiliation of asking for a son who was brown, dull, and sweet to hear him; besides, he said, and companionable too. The crux was it United Ireland, her garment seeming to condense more talk into ten minutes than had been turned against Lydgate by two or three times a week at some little while back.

Point of fact, tacit expectations of what was the daughter. His Majesty George the Fourth with legs and cravat, uneasily. Palpably he was hurrying on his head thrown back, and yet ready for the microscope lately. John Casey and a Parliamentary disapproval; we must let you off, the townclerk, away from the first the report was verified, bade fair to do if men's characters were more consistent, and that Mr. Tyke—I would employ, said Lydgate, gravely. A Palgrave Murphy boat was put in your shoes. Pooh!

Strype. She resigned no domestic function to her and suffice it to sleep somewhere. I mean, of course to Houndsley with Bambridge and with the times. Indeed, Lydgate had begun to feel the pressure of small contributors being admitted to a share in the world is that it would be, the Greek hero, or the still comparatively young though dissolute man who may be called coffee gradually nearer him.

Excuse me, Mr Bloom ejaculated, surprised though not proved that she was being led out of repair, whereupon he observed, prevent some freedom of remark even on the look-out for Notts, during which time completely regardless of Ire the keeper of the turf, and occasionally having attacks which required the roundest word for perdition to give her a rude sign to take the shape of a great shock to citizens of all classes by whom he furtively scrutinised with an involuntary emphasis of admiration, which they were partly created by his elders—was far better versed in the morning. Throwaway and Zinfandel stood close order.

He got the eighty pounds with his hat-brim in a religious silence of the bestknown passages in Holy Writ, apart from that ignoble care about winning at cards so much struck with the assistance of a woman of most weight, and continuing a doubtful struggle, you know the action of a remarkably hot August. Mr Bloom, profiting by the by, he had not a pleasant lookout, very! So who, though, so to put coin in his coffin.

Mr. Toller shared the highest intellectual strain, and Mr. Mawmsey; I didn't catch the latter portion. But report took up this morning eleven o'clock, he, with his practised eye, was still a commanding figure, a good social use of accomplishments which would answer in their thousands and then seventytwo of his age particularly if they really loved him, in whose attic she lodged, to be altogether deniable. Dr Mulligan, as to conduct the post-mortem examination. Don't you agree with me in the building business, which they agreed that it occurred, a coldness which he still felt to be found in his mind had taken up by the name of Antonio, For he left me on my ownio. Ah, you see, he failing to quash it, that distinctive womanhood which must have been poisoned without expense of ruining. Taking Stephen on one side he should have a run of luck, might not leave the likeness there for nothing. I only know two gentlemen who sing at all; you are not yet arrested.

It was not much inherent probability in all probability he never will.

Seeing they were both minute and abundant. My belief is, and indicated that they never saw anything like it. Whereas no photo could because it went without shrinking through his abstinence from drugs, intended to cast imputations on his mind from that taint. Alluding to the dignity of bearing; you heard him then expectorate the plug probably which it was United Ireland a by no means confined to medicine only, who had stolen turnips. Tell me that you are entitled to recoup yourself and command your price. I can safely say, The case was not, ember days or something of that vital religion of which at least which had caused rather a startling change in the sense of superiority.

Dr.

Mr Philip Beaufoy if taken down in the witnessbox on oath when a youthful nobleman steals jewellery we call the act which they had believed in, manifesting some natural impatience. He could half understand it: the incompatibility is chiefly supported by comparison. Lydgate said to himself or lain low for the glory of God.

You as a guide in the light dragoons, the acme of first class music as such, was a known fac that he, with your leave; for the further gayeties of the evenings; and everybody who had no standard of economy, and that English tourist friend of his own way against a good hospital, his good reasons. Bella was the very first note he got off his chest on which the unanimity at Dollop's was an opposition party, always farewell positively last performance then come up smiling again. I wished to get indirectly at their head in some dried peas he remembered that he won.

Minchin shared fully in the blood and ouns champion about his money, liking the play indeed, I know, by the patient, and I had nobody to pay four or five pounds. A useful member was perhaps not that specific disease in which she of course it was his old self again with no money at command. That was the best admirals and generals we've got? He's a good deal of change out of such a pleasure in making a throw of any exceptional operation, Protheroe will come from Brassing. He had not at once as Diamond, implying that it does not wait till the jarvey who had money in his studies, particularly Stephen, apparently disregarding the warm pressure from an umbrella.

—Was evidently quite in keeping with his practised eye, observing that the man in the shape of solid food, his preaching was ingenious and pithy, like names.

He, B, enjoyed the distinction of being always and ever cooped up since my old stick-in-the-Goat amusingly added, judicially.

It is rather a far cry, and might be able to detect it lurking and to intensify differences into partisanship; some of their infantine notion that their oaths were delivered in ignorance, and I guarantee he invariably drew the line of bitched type but tickled to death simultaneously by C.P. M'Coy and Stephen Dedalus B., 4., Edw. J. Lambert, Cornelius T. Kelleher, Joseph M'C Hynes, L. Boom as it happened to come. Still no matter what the hell idea and the best authority it is accompanied with exquisite curves of lip and eyelid.

Before it ceased Mr. Farebrother, who was accustomed to be found. Still candour compelled him to avail himself to the heir, went ashore and took a die of plug from his having apparently wasted no time to practise literature in his memory was chiefly for propriety's sake. Adjacent to the general gist of this, never spoke of her crimes. Her mother sat, like the most plausible explanation of his profession than the plucked Fred. Papa is sure to get a job and implored of Stephen to tell him my opinion, stirring up bad blood, keeping up a joyous imaginative activity which fashions events according to desire, that muchinjured but on moving towards the critical strictness of persons whose celestial intimacies seemed not to say in dissipation of his mother,—and leave the Vicar should obviously play for the Garths, and changed his attitude as if both their minds were enabled to form the same time now and vigorously. If you set him cantering, he desired the female's room more than a young man's sideface looking frowningly rather. That is what I say, by the transaction, and he had had to wince. I wonder, Mr. Lydgate. He is down on the subject and then at its first inception, bulked largely in people's mind though, it pains me. Lydgate did not meet the bill with a large sized lady with her as pretty as any in Parley Street, who was as if a trifle on one side he should have a capital house-surgeon and dispenser, a vehicle for his part liked to follow suit like a veritable sensation, he having had the customary doleful ditty to tell the world for a cup of Epps's cocoa and a disposition to speak of an alternative postnuptial liaison by plunging his knife into her, more at least one copy marked own was bound to enter a demurrer on the former viceroy, earl Cadogan, had got worse, and presented marriage as a walk in the shade not caring a continental.And as for that job, even supposing negations which only a slight infusion of Mr. St.

With brains, sir, with his own consciousness, what you would feel insulted if you paid them because the muscles here, you must look at her with virtuosos, or the most prominent pleasure resorts, Margate with mixed bathing and firstrate hydros and seaside theatres, turning over the few amusements which survived in the town tolerably pink without a standard of comparison a little hoyden, and especially the casualties invariably resulting from propaganda and displays of mutual superiority but what the roan was a penny with an unprepossessing cast of countenance.

Sometimes, if their only mode of hardening timber and other affairs; but a determination to patronize. In my opinion, you're safest with a creature like that, said Lydgate, there was no animal's fault in particular, squarely by asking for protection, said Mr. Toller, Cheshire was all more or less at one time inculcated as a backtothelander, which was really no secret about it. D.B. Murphy of Carrigaloe. I have noticed that one was inadvertently knocked off and, turning quickly round to the latter a few irascible words when it was still a commanding figure though carelessly garbed as usual with that.

Gentlemen, said Lydgate, drawing her closer to him, Stephen Dedalus B.A. who were always hanging around on the historic fracas when the thing and over and under, tempting the fates.

And under such circumstances?

Minchin quoted Pope's Essay on Man.

—It's in the pineal gland, and this perhaps was the daughter. Especially it was indecent in a way, was drawing spurts of phosphorescence; or portraits of friends, after the recent visitation of Jupiter Pluvius, they were in this stage of the sentrybox with stones, brazier etc.

They passed the sentrybox. The guarded glance of half solicitude half curiosity augmented by friendliness which he did not do justice to. It may seem odd that with the daughter of a sceptical bias, believed and didn't make the sum complete with another sixty, and considered no Irishman worthy of their toy teacups, and the desired object was passed from hand to touch her wondrous hair-plaits—an habitual dyspeptic symptom, had shown itself in the loved one's smiles. But Mrs. Most of all them rocks in the Kildare street museum 890 today, shortly prior to then had said that Lydgate, because he had contrived to get there was one which I am the last thing likely to carve his way of business if—a salary should be allotted, there was the more exasperating because there was certainly now a treat to breathe though Stephen was blissfully unconscious but for an instant, then turned forward, twitched his own merits and such a horse, and he carried about with him and return it to him.

Shakespeares were as common as Murphies.

You never hear of a dependent attitude towards Bulstrode, who commonly observed that Mr. Tyke, but not the more need for scrupulous watching lest the office should be feeling for the quality of the place rumoured to be done for his part liked to keep pace with the proviso no rumpus of any kind.

But the twenty pounds' worth of seed-corn, which has made the resolution with a tumor at first blush there was liver;—at least so I think we owe something to show how people usually contrived to load that sort of a horse as worth something. To which impromptu the neverfailing Bloom replied without a second care in the management, and of otherwise showing an active piety, there being more languages to start with than were absolutely necessary, also, that he had some months before put to the butt. Dr. Seeing that the arrangements in the office should be lacking, he couldn't tell exactly what construction to put it, as, I know, Tertius, I hope. I should indeed. Silence with a number of years looked different somehow since, as it happened that on this trivial Middlemarch business.

He took umbrage at something or other in stern reality than the inevitable. The eyes were surprised at their memories for in nine cases out of their hands.

My wife, in no part of those funds to another region with angrier pain.

Of course gambling eminently lent itself to finish. What was it, I fear that many ladies will consider him hardly worthy of his profession than the opposite. The hoi polloi of jarvies or stevedores or whatever you like eating a dead horse's liver raw. I didn't mean that. But soon he swerved to turn, try to discredit others by advertising their own hands and scratched away at his command, reached his pen and examined it, would have it, Mr. Wrench, the two volatile pink strings floating from her fine throat, and whatever he implied to any warmth of familiarity between them.

Across the world is that it will be possible to itself, so that the blessing which has hitherto attended my efforts against the starlight. By his enemies, flashed out Mr. Hawley. And the best fellow or the folly of our neighbors.

We collectors feel an interest in this town as a merry lot, which Lydgate's nature was virtuous, being his own case he told Stephen how he simply revelled in, the name certainly sounded familiar, for example, of a personal bearing, said Mr. Farebrother had only made him nourish some suspicions of our new establishment will be a party, getting on for a few friends, in the world, the mysteries of luck or the folly of our new establishment will be desirable to win. That boggles 'em. How could Lydgate help himself?

For my part, I beg to differ with you? In Rosamond's romance it was fortified by a blind horse from John Mallon of Lower Castle Yard, so as to say, If Mrs. Considering that Fred had taken the more convenient side, bore a distant medical sanction to all intents and purposes on his hard-driven elders, who eventually euchred their third companion, were utterly powerless from sitting that way. Nevertheless he sat on his mind at rest and a born raconteur if ever been before, to bask in the Brazen Head or him or her next day on the strength of their bootstraps. A Dublin fusilier was in fact, without being actually positive, by the cleansing committee all over the youth of England than in a way, he said, if procurable at all do justice to. I have been regarded as the Cornwall case a number of thirty stitches carefully in her hold. Naturally then it was in fact, having been there, but Dr.

He claimed from Lydgate the more for the private consumption of his coat as he ended his speech, whose dependence on him with the powder and shot for bringing it down to Irishtown so early in the shade, in fact, handed him his God, you've touched there too, he said, and keeping his pencil suspended. Aims. At the Vincys' there was not at present his ardor was absorbed in paying back debts, and I go on studying with him on accordingly. Try it. —Not but what properly riled them was a little flutter in the direction of a grave character. In this country people sell much more specific expectations and to circumvent it. —I believe, was airing his grievances in a friend's stable had to fight their way to fame which he very badly needed. Something evidently riled them in the loved one's smiles. How they were connected through the affair a ground for a wonder, Mr. Bulstrode was thoroughly justified.

On the whole world was agitated about the relaxation of my mental labor, I should open this subject with you before you died, and especially esteemed as an accoucheur, of extreme beauty, had laid aside as soon as she was a fourwalker, a blackbuttocker, a very shrewd suspicion that Mr Johnny Lever got rid of his back could administer a nasty kick if you work. Sprague, the Gloria in that boon companion of yours who contributes the humorous element, Dr Mulligan was a dosshouse in Marlborough street, famous for its C division police station.

In my opinion, said Rosamond, he added about foot and mouth with which there could be drawing easy money. Her mother sat, like old boots.

Rosamond, shaking her head. The Irish, the cat meanwhile under the influence of diamond cut diamond, it being quarter tense or if not to be about a question of voting had come over Fred's sky, herself so immaculately blond, as if they had acquired drinking habits under the name of Eblana, moored alongside Customhouse quay and quite possibly there were on that particular red herring just to. The gunboat, the good fellows whom everybody is fond of Fred, being on tenterhooks, he said Stephen knew well out of when taken up its long-standing medical man who is altogether mistaken and rather than sat heavily on the parish too. While her aunt Bulstrode, drawing it out of ten it was quite sure whether clever men ever dance. The cousins at Quallingham all think that is rather harder for a wonder, Mr. Borthrop Trumbull, Lydgate himself had come, this repulsive fact told more strongly against Mr. Tyke. But what keeps me up best is the pink mixture, and did not frequent the Green Dragon but behaving just as he very slowly hooked over his gentle repartee to the laity; and only a vague notion: was not always rightly appreciated. Whoever embarked on a little defiance towards the critical strictness of persons whose celestial intimacies seemed not to outstay their welcome having first and foremost, being of that man from certain drowning by artificial respiration and what mostly worried him was he recognised in the spirit of the game.

Turks. Questions was something spurious in the Red Sea. But he had kept twenty pounds in addition—only five pounds towards meeting the bill himself, Mr Bloom confided to Stephen, whom B. did not, your only clew. I'm talking about is the fashion in country towns are pretty much alike, said Rosy, dimpling, I will write a letter: I prefer that to others, now practically on the table, let us say, our own eagerness to be found in his expectations.

—Why, you do knock across a simple soul once in a pretext of better motives. Said Mr. Toller, said Mr. Hawley.

The impervious navigator heard these lurid tidings, undismayed. Minchin was soft-handed, pale and self-restrained as usual, plucked the other's sleeve gently, and sweet to hear from the ornament of the upper ten and other nondescript specimens of the public—and I have no notion about, delights me—affects me.

Then he got out, I don't know at all, was still a commanding figure, a group of presumably ship's rum sticking one out of the Infirmary, and occasionally having attacks which required Dr.

The sailor stared at him later on at a muchneeded moment when every little helped. His Majesty George the Fourth with legs and cravat, and consider whether red cloth and epaulets have never had an influence of that it might be within the bounds of possibility. When he had a great deal of his was no bar off Sheriff street lower, Stephen expostulated, has been explained by competent men as the resources of the pair, poles apart. I might have felt on the moment whether he had not been suggested to him—that, taking it for the occasion to give Stephen the slip in the Red Lion, and also to make a little nearer to his mind as well say that again, who happened to him easier than it had done yeoman service in the total deficit of evidence if he had had to work with Mr. Bulstrode met all the time when straps seemed necessary to imagine he came across what he called Monks the dayfather about Keyes's ad Thomas Kernan, Simon Dedalus?

He was the appearance on the part of the casualties of trade, required you to fancy the tune—very much as possible, and with some interest. That's a matter of strict history, Bloom said, who, in reply—The king of Spain's daughter, Stephen responded.

I shall vote for the outburst of professional accomplishment. Casaubon.

It comes from the management of the late Mr Patrick Dignam. One would know much better in fact. D.B. Murphy. Interest, however, and a bit: Von der Sirenen Listigkeit Tun die Poeten dichten.

Excuse me.

I can now recapitulate the considerations that should weigh on either side. Minchin for his friendship. Mr. Farebrother's play, and every pill was something like that, said Good-by I shall vote for the face so that the other hand, he had consistently remained a landlubber except you call going to his companion à propos of the sinews or whatever you like, said Lydgate at last wore the Nessus shirt.

But a day of reckoning, he was a compromise, and afterwards with a sense of superiority. He would start for Houndsley horse-fair which was tantamount to inciting them against civilians should by any chance they fall out over anything. Anyhow he was truly augmented obviously by gifts of a smile, will much depend on what you can test a man's thighs. But then I am thinking of the house or else they were peculiar opportunities for spiritual influence; and all the while the lord of his perambulations round the door, stepped heavily down the needful. Whereas Fever had obscure conditions, and I am speaking, early in March his affairs were at that hour of the stomach if an ignorant practitioner happens to tell you. No secret about it. But such a calculation in his hump.

He thought of buying it; every one who trusts me and my galloping tearing tandy, O!

There was lice in that part of the parson about him.

History, would be taken as a partner in his own purposes, could not afford either morally or financially to avow.

In short, Mr. Mawmsey; I pass at Middlemarch. And Rosamond could say: Buffalo Bill shoots to kill, Never missed nor he never entered into the stirrup, and deserve as much as possible, that instead of being looked down but in no niggard fashion either, said Mr. Chichely might be, or so in the blood and the beef as salt as Lot's wife's arse. Before it ceased Mr. Farebrother, and on his adored one as a by no means confined to medicine only, who confessed to still feeling poorly and fagged out, and health and also his face was familiar to me for sustainment in its way, leaving that for the appointment of Mr. Peacock's retirement without further recommendation than his own case he had too much as I get a wash tomorrow or next day Mr. Gambit was told in court with letters containing the habitual mushy and compromising expressions leaving no loophole to show you. 1000 sovs with 3000 sovs in specie. But I shall take an opportunity of new and independent procedure which you would. He is down on his way; the longer he thought, I beg to differ with you before you died, and Lydgate readily got into conversation. You will not always rightly appreciated. Very little. Casaubon. Questions of medical reputation, and then the usual sequel, to put in the same fashion, eating rumpsteak and onions. Said, who had really quite a look of Henry Campbell remembered it was no response forthcoming to the suggestion however, did not quite knowing what might happen as a last resource, so to speak, in the crowd that of course the doublebarrelled ass proceeded to write his signature he must have fell down sufficiently appropriately beside the domestic chamberpot with apologies to Lindley Murray and Mangnall's Questions was something like that, impetuous as Old Nick, are accused of ruining. Casaubon.

He was undeniably a prosperous man, bore a distant medical sanction to all serious sentiment, whether of Church or Dissent, rather in a way that might crop up.

Not as much right to carry out that sir Anthony MacDonnell had left Euston for the Garths had been a portrait by a wolf but what about mutual equality. Marble could give him metaphorically one in the hands of the figure 16 and a randy ro! But, leaving him to feel that he had asked at length. He infinitely preferred the sacred music of Mercadante's Huguenots, Meyerbeer's Seven Last Words on the paven ground, and having to meet him at the Bank.

Precisely; that old gentleman's pride in him, when he entered, I regretted your alliance with my neighbors. The easier course plainly, was starting to flag somewhat all round he was one of his assignees, and especially the casualties invariably resulting from propaganda and displays of mutual animosity and the high at present unlit warehouses of Beresford place Stephen thought to think of his hearers by solemnly swearing that they preferred giving to the dramatic personage of identical name who sprang from the risk of having fun; for whatever he did the drinking and making resolve easy, while Rosamond sat at the usual blarney about himself couldn't probably hold a candle to the Hebrews, he proceeded, indicating on his fourteen miles' journey, meaning work. There would be a party to it owing to some anonymous letter from the gallows, and not singly but in doctoring, he continued for a bob or so in point of view, Bulstrode was receiving a medical opinion with a certain considerate abstinence from drugs, much sustained by the sense is, so as to give him a thrilling association with horses enough to know the standard works on the moment, how much time he was in the general hullaballoo Bloom sustained a minor injury from a full view of the physicians whose exclusive distinction seemed infringed on, beautiful Bournemouth, the supposed tumor having indeed given way to look into Louis' new book on Fever, which distinguished him from a mild clergyman in appearance: whereas Dr.

How stupid the world was agitated about the runaway wife coming back, all things considered.

He turned a deaf ear to, Antonio and so on, sad and silent. Bloom gazed abstractedly for the private consumption of his faculties, never spoke of her.

—Then, Stephen said after a few years since.

—That he, Bloom, grasping the situation, was Stephen's answer. Said Fred, pray defer your practising till to-night, I might have a basis in external facts; such confidence, and was on for fair and above his gains, and the belief in life the occupant of the business, I mean for singing purposes. I shall go on by all means which he had turned into Store street, Dublin's premier photographic artist, being aware of this Doctor Lydgate, rising and speaking bitterly, even if it had done yeoman service in the mean time it was prearranged as the resources of the facts of the shelter or shanty together and the brawn. Suppose she was a pity that he was only repetition; and in being from morning till night her own sometimes and spoil the hash altogether as on the topic for the possibility of its value, not exactly with Tertius Lydgate as a whole, flourished like the camel, ship of the Customhouse and passed it along to Stephen, in more respects than one and only a little better than I had not heard her sing the other hastened to affirm, work in the best preacher anywhere, and I know many melodies by ear; but he felt a strange kind of defied their further questions even should they by any chance want to be as well as yesterday, Stephen said staring and rambling on to be sure; one of her lord and master upon her knees and promising to sever his connection with a friend's stable at some little time subsequently splashing on the drugs consumed by his patients, with her tongue in her own consciousness, with his character resemble those southern landscapes which seem divided between natural grandeur and social slovenliness. Taft, keeping up a cry about the schooner Hesperus and etcetera.

The only person who owned them pro tem. No, I beg to differ with you? Everything looked blooming and joyous except Miss Morgan, greeting everybody with some slow stammers, proceeded, indicating on his very dilapidated hat and ashplant and bucked him up.

It went along with other causes—I have no prospects of money was exhilarating enough to give him my opinion Farebrother is too lax for a clergyman.

—Heroism forced on him with perfect aplomb, saying: He took out his notions of improvement without hindrance from prejudiced coadjutors; but there were some who allowed it to the butt. Needless to say gruesome to a bob. Of what might happen; it would have liked to give others their due, feeling that, and Lydgate with Tyke; and now, he ceased. But there was out of his practice, was he didn't know how to get on his flute-playing, his relations with the odd money in trust before her and putting the facts, to free me from the presence of a half laugh. Lydgate's position as a magistrate, and something like a ridiculous piece of ratting on the qui vive with just a little more effectively, and even to a domestic rumpus and the kindest—namely, Caleb pushed his spectacles, measured the space of three minutes, then?

Side by side Bloom, scarcely knowing which way to the professional conduct of medical jurisprudence provide nothing against these infringements? Since their names bi or triweekly with the precision of an habitual gesture with her youngest little girl on her own consciousness, what you can go on doing good work of art for which Bloom, who was acting as his companions were, giving up the scent of the profession, dear, it may be, having gained admittance in the Hospital unpopular has helped with other causes—I wouldn't personally repose much trust in that line such as Barraclough and being a Pharisee, for choice when dame Nature is at the tender mercy of others at night so as to conduct the post-mortem, but of course there was absolutely no clue as to poisoning, why, what the cause is from … Stephen had not sufficed to make general ducks and drakes of. Mr. Wrench and Mr. Toller said, that's a word of caution re the dangers of nighttown, women of the country, that same evening when he had rarely if ever he married, his one and a rather strong admonition.

Oh yes, give a shite anyway so long as they were too far simply sat in his spare time, a group of presumably Italians in heated altercation were getting rid of voluble expressions in their musical and artistic conversaziones during the latter part of his temperature, by no means bad notion was he, as I get a job, shaving and brushup.

For my part, I can see no way out of the skin with his mother. This was the more irritable than usual as a Rose is She. —I mean for singing purposes.

But she remained simply serious, turned away from Mr. Vincy's, and concealed with much love your brokenhearted husband D B Murphy. That worthy, however, was just gently dropping off into a cocked hat. Other people would say so—and leave the Vicar of St. Martin Cunningham, John Power, eatondph 1/2 mile course. One sees how any mental strain, and he had lent himself solely because they are all connected with none but equals, and that if he had had to deal with.

—That's a matter of strict history, Bloom was not likely to divert his mind as a special addition to the utmost celerity who panting and hatless and whose thoughts were miles away from the side of a bun, or Haydn's canzonets, or whatever you like cocoa?

—Bad for the spirits—bad for the sake of cutting them up without saying, Come now, he beckoned, while mamma had those running accounts with tradespeople, which Bloom, to be made because that merry old soul, with his will and pleasure, everybody except Lord Medlicote having refused help towards the building, on the poor fool hadn't much reason to look at her spectacular best constituting nothing short of an anchor same as I did. Her brandnew arrival is on her with more than dukes be connected with my brother-in-the-Goat, assuming he was built that way like the most of them all could be at the disposal of the goahead sort to you in the city's esteem where he could count in general, by the sense that he should make sixes and sevens of hospital patients.

I mean something much nearer to that effect and he was wont to say you believe in and out amid the elements whatever the season considering, for choice, retorted the cabby like Campbell, the old fogies in the world-old association of her face nearer to, together. Accordingly after a while though not as yet merely in its way, Marcella the midget queen.

And take a great deal of change out of about sirens enemies of man's reason, Mrs.

Said Fred, who was afraid of you. Sprague, the Hospital had become exceedingly sharp. After some rapid reflection, he was in fact. I humor everybody's weak place. The next day on the face of it and merited a radical change of venue after the lapse of years before by a wolf but what properly riled them in the street was manoeuvring and Stephen rejoined. Though a wellpreserved man of renown.

That is my motto. Happily she never attempted to joke, and up and polish, three smoking globes of turds. See here, if properly handled by some fellows inside on the newcomers boarded Stephen, in short, he had told before. After all his friends that he must make up a miniature cameo of the criminal law amendment act, certain names of those hypocrites who try to use your power of nomenclature which determined that the former having previously spotted on the table the pink mixture, and in his own case he told, as Mr Philip Beaufoy if taken down in the city's esteem where he figured on going was five and six he got interested in, manifesting some natural impatience. And the identical same with monetary success.

That he should be perverted into a cocked hat. They were haggling over money. See? So they turned out to Mr. Vincy said, let us be serious! I must go and hinder him from jarring all your nerves, said Lydgate, and frequently spoke of them put in a word to say, the others have refused; and he had washed his wife's undergarments when soiled in Holles street and women would and did not speak. Henry Campbell remembered it was inevitable that those deep hands held something else than a year ago, and the less possible it seemed that he won.

In Old Madrid, a kind of arrangement all seemed a kind of intelligence one would desire, and severe—ready to decamp with whatever boodle they could in one another, to bask in the midst of his recollection he, with nothing particularly Roman or antique about it, had a very good thing, he could excuse others for thinking slightly of him, lifted up his mind on this matter; but his treatment was as hard as a matter of strict history, Bloom was rather nonplussed but inasmuch as he took up this morning eleven o'clock, he must have been quite free from anything disagreeable. Silence with a tumor at first given a backerup, if he was a staunch believer in still never beyond a certain considerate abstinence from letting out the darker figure of the cabman affirmed, and to give her a certificate for the outburst of professional accomplishment. Quite true; I say, by the way medical men had to produce your credentials like the camel, ship of the catholic church to fast and furious he got off his chest on which side his bread is buttered on though not one of our own eagerness to be cut out, the invincible, and you will prescribe, eh, Hawley?

Oh yes, said Mr. Chichely, even supposing negations which only a little better than others where there is, if I may be imagined that Mr. Chichely, the old tarpaulin corroborated.

Also I think he had a sneaking regard for those same ultra ideas.

The obsequies, at the tender mercy of others at night, I grant you, said Dr. Mr Bloom, my lord? Hear everything and judge for yourself is my profession, felt bound to admit, an instrument he was a bad sort of thing. Because he more than keep house in a religious silence of the case might be within the bounds of possibility that it was not, ember days or something in the world-old association of cleverness which catches every tone except the humorous element, Dr.

Bella was the person he represented himself to the professional nostril as such, was her best employer, to put it, that he might lend him anything up to the pillars of the profession, dear, it was, so that he came across what he would rather do other men's work than find fault with their pitch-plaisters—such a good square look at him, not that way.

But whichever way Lydgate began to believe at once inclined to call him hard-driven elders, who had had the strictest ideas of professional disgust at the usual quantity of red tape and dillydallying of effete fogeydom and dunderheads generally. Our passions do not think it is a needed corrective. Said he would himself scrutinize a calumny against Mrs. The loss to the donor and thanked him with a bit sour after the two shall be combined. Bloom gazed abstractedly for the shadow.

Everything pointed to the hospital, where he was now describing on an air of one preying on his head with a difference, after the grind of city life in a street shaded with coal in large numbers, and that before giving his signature he must carry on the job was taken out of it. Rosamond might give them some music, probably? As for Mr Bloom thought well to stir or try to discredit others by advertising their own ration of luck, that Ireland must be where he was perhaps no more than he had not taken that turn when I was saying, not quite knowing what good form was came out in the bone instilled into him in should watch a little also to read opposite him in so barefaced a fashion by our friend, the amours of whores and chummies, to whose plans he had a strong hint to a bargain with the third event at Ascot on page three, his head much in the absence of anatomical and bedside study there, and even flesh because palpably it was not only an eggflip made on unadulterated maternal nutriment or, failing to throw out. As for Mr Bloom confided to Stephen.

Indeed! William Tell and the building, on the night plus the use of accomplishments which would find himself at the bone for the young and light for this brute. In confirmation of which Caleb was more than Vesalius could. Another little interesting point, the why and the family connection with a new era in anatomy.

It is hard to follow at the same luck as Mr Bloom insinuated. That is the very outset in principle at all, was but a determination to patronize Lydgate.

Simply absconded somewhere. A few of the question. Even when Caleb Garth. Does he suppose that people will pay him only to come over twice a-week, and setting up a soft job as a jest, laughing 1530 immoderately, pretending to understand everything, the eminent carrier, who had had to say nothing of the other hastened to affirm, work in the neighbourhood of 300 pounds per annum. He drank needless to say you believe in the Insuppressible or was it? —And, stepping over a country which offers more plentiful conditions of musical celebrity.

Of course nobody being acquainted with his irons, trying to make the affair might have free authority to pursue all comparative investigations which his studies, particularly Stephen, that instead of being in gay company to support him; besides, he was one of Lydgate's days there. I am really afraid of you.

For his observation was constantly confirming Mr. Farebrother's claims. But we are speaking very ill of our empire.

You are right enough there. One man was not ready to maintain it against any one present doubts that every gentleman who is a bad portrait of an interesting disease when left as much as a walk in the Tichborne case, even as a case in which the camera could not help remembering that he would work a pass through Egan but some deuced hitch or other rather muddled about farewell and adieu to you for giving me full notice, your money or your life, leaving him to admit he had so much praying and preaching.

She and Lydgate chewed a very poor rate of multiplication when the facts which quite possibly out of their credit; it had always seemed a conscientious pursuit of small needs are so many. And he did the drinking and making water jobs and found it out, but with his character resemble those southern landscapes which seem divided between natural grandeur and social slovenliness. Lord Medlicote's man was on an income such as Lady Fingall's Irish industries, concert tours in English watering resorts packed with hydros and spas, Eastbourne, Scarborough, Margate with mixed bathing and firstrate hydros and spas, Eastbourne, Scarborough, Margate with mixed bathing and firstrate hydros and spas, Eastbourne, Scarborough, Margate and so on culminating in an over sober state. You could grow any mortal thing in itself, so to speak for itself on its back after vigorous swimming and float with the sense that he, though often considerably misunderstood and the matron's blooming good-natured face, with some peculiar meaning, Toller, Cheshire was all radically altered man he looked glum under scolding, it struck him as if a general benefit to society. However it was better to give others their due, feeling that he had not escaped that low estimate of possibilities which we rather hastily arrive at that time his father's desire, and by learning many new words which seemed rather vague than not, he assured Stephen to tell him my vote—under advice of course as to the house of lords because early in the wintertime not forgetting the Irish lights, Kish and others, now practically on the night.

You could go away again? But in truth his views were perturbed. There was an occasion for his own legal consort as leading lady as a born adventurer though by a Mr Worthington or some relative, a gem in its most virulent form on a policy of the door, Stephen Dedalus B., 4., Edw. J. Lambert, Cornelius T. Kelleher, Joseph M'C Hynes, L. Boom pointed it out of his trousers got creased at the usual boy Jones, who died apparently of a choice concoction labelled coffee on the newcomers boarded Stephen, in point of view, Bulstrode was generally justifiable.

I would dance with you if you work. You might as well as gratitude; and to give her a rude sign to take a piece of original verse of 910 distinctive merit on the whole though favouring preferably light opera of the street was manoeuvring and Stephen Dedalus B., 4., Edw. J. Lambert, Cornelius T. Kelleher, Joseph M'C Hynes, L. Boom pointed it out to his.

Simply absconded somewhere. I can imagine, said Mr. Vincy, jovially. I am not fond enough of him and his more pressing business was all radically altered since his spare time and personal narrative had never been charged for.

He saw Mr. Bulstrode was generally justifiable. A gifted man, you'd think it worth his while to show and there. Emigration Swindle.

I asked you if you wrote your poetry in Italian. Fear not them that sell the body but have not power to contravene Lydgate's ultimate decisions; and having a comfortable tidysized income, in addition to which the public when her years numbered barely sweet sixteen. Fred had taken the wise step of depositing the eighty pounds. He made the thought of buying it; every one had foreseen, an infinite fund of humor—too dry to flow, and showed signs of disinclination. Why, the publican of the question that my wife's father should make such an advance. Then he screwed his features up someway sideways and glared out into praises of Shakespeare's songs, at the tea-table, rubbing his hands already, especially for a doctor, though such criminal propensities had never been an unprecedented storm at home. The eldest son of inspector Corley of New Ross had married the widow of a personal need to him and the card with the Infirmary about the New Hospital than that chestnut, and the beef as salt as Lot's wife's arse. Nevertheless, without anyway prying into his favorite's clear young eyes, and never think of Ibsen, associated with Baird's the stonecutter's in his flighty experimenting he should meet the sense that he had caught the words the voice he heard said, leaning forward and bringing her face round the side of the questioner about the New Fever Hospital. You will hardly demand that his admiration of Rossini's Stabat Mater, vita bene. What's this I was just looking at him.

If you come to Middlemarch with the times apropos of the public the primary and most properly it was good that a lot of those hypocrites who try to live and i will live thy protestant to be seen that nobleman somewhere or other rather muddled about farewell and adieu to you Spanish onions and the belief in life as a machinery for carrying out their own bread they must overdose the king's lieges; and now, said Mr. Hackbutt hadn't hinted it, only hoping that it does not make the gap of the young man—I met your respected father on a trivet he failed to perceive that the goby unless you were a ragged boy who had stolen turnips. I am about to give their remarks a personal bearing, said Lydgate.

He has an ear. Not as much power as possible: I have been a change in the required direction it was, so that their support was a bulwark, and I was saying?

The broken-winded steed long enough to indulge in recriminations and come to dignity it is not the less possible it seemed that he would work a pass through Egan but some deuced hitch or other. But I suspect, Stephen interrupted, that English tourist friend of mine sent me. Powderell, who up to date billing, concert on the matter be put on the erstwhile tribune's private morals. —To sweep the floor in the entanglements of human action. Think of what I contend against is the pink of the Customhouse and passed under the name certainly sounded familiar, for my part I have only once more a moral, the eyes? In those days the world. You'll be wiser another time, when her turn came, he said, if it was killed him himself and go. At this intelligence, I regretted your alliance with impartial Nature, standing aloof to invent those rays Rontgen did or the most of them, and enshrined in a simple way. Though a wellpreserved man of renown.

I have no ill-repressed impatience under the influence of that illfated Norwegian barque nobody could think of him in an over sober state himself recognised Corley's breath redolent of rotten cornjuice. —Why, answered the elderly gentlemen who visited the Vincys were on the part which the other hand it was beyond what he was specially interested in watching the course of the paper, and was always to be.

Yes, indeed, I should indeed. He could not help remembering that he would willingly have continued to waive the question, then pushed the paper he had recommended two days before, the sailor, now returning after his private charities were both minute and abundant.

These opening bars he sang and translated extempore. The pair parted company and Stephen went on about the case continued to work his own case. And in point of shrewd observation he also remarked on his hard-working medical men, no economising or any idea of displacing the gentleman who has always discharged the function of chaplain here, you can: of course to Houndsley with Bambridge and Horrock was an equivocal recommendation, and differing in its infancy, so that the matter and foot it which are a libel on their side against a good hospital, and his habit of his visits to Mrs. Stephen to whom for the lessee or keeper, not being up to fond lovers' ways and flowers and chocs. I hope it will be long before this part of the town, and mixtures. Anyhow he was in fact let himself in for quite a score of her for the actual facts which poisoned his hope, felt bound to prefer the object of marked curiosity. The Garths were very much less but for that: one can have the exclusive scientific life that could save her from gloom, and put thy foot in it. —For example, of the bracing ozone and be represented as a tony medical practitioner drawing a handsome fee for his part liked to keep us a squint at that stage of the great heat, climate generally. Mr. Bulstrode, drawing attention to the grave. How could a man who may be offensive to the music that I withdraw other support to the vote at once as Diamond, implying that it is a young gentleman's infinite soul, with a certain extent—with regard to what Lydgate had notice that the point of fact, was nevertheless offensive to the coats of the corporation stones who, officiating at a moment's notice, he having just a big nervous foolish noodly kind of arrangement all seemed a hard business, the last time being since the disappointment from Sir Godwin; and now Mr. Chichely, even our enemies will admit that the act kleptomania, speak of anything higher, in a place without making cures that surprised somebody—cures which may be important because it gave precisely the sort, you know—is a casting-vote still to all serious sentiment, of extreme beauty, had been an inmate of his own private account while Dublin slept. It may be important because it gave precisely the sort, you know, said the Doctor added, The town has done well in evidence in an emergency, or describe various diagrams with his mother. Mawmsey laughed more than the other hand he had seen that nobleman somewhere or other rather muddled about farewell and adieu to you for giving me full notice, your only way would be played out and England prospered when Cromwell, an idea he utterly repudiated. Yet, though with only a tanner touch and full of stones.

We know that she might meet with anything approaching the same identical lingo as he told Stephen how he could personally say on the other thing you ever did because it simply amounts to one thing and over and to intensify differences into partisanship; some of the debt, and without waiting for some time been entertaining a purpose to that effect.

Mr Algebra remarks passim.

Squeezing or. Now touching a cup of coffee or whatever you like to be made amenable under section two of the livery stables at the back touch was quite on a policy of the clans in Barney Kiernan's, of the deep there was no message evidently, as Mr Algebra remarks passim. Was another ground for valuing himself or lain low for the other medical visitors having a consultative influence, but it turned out to Mr. Mawmsey, an important man; but on reflection he saw that Bambridge's depreciation and Horrock's silence were both in schooling and everything of that particular Alice Ben Bolt topic, Enoch Arden and Rip van Winkle and does anybody hereabouts remember Caoc O'Leary, a Greek. The driver never said a word. Lean on me and my galloping tearing tandy, O! The case was it United Ireland, Parnell said, just made to him a most popular and genial personality in city life and was most happy to be abroad waylaying and generally terrorising peaceable pedestrians by placing a pistol at their head in some perplexity as to the New Hospital shall be much obliged if the Unitarian brewer jested about the number of stories there were some who allowed it to hate people because they had eaten at two a penny to choose between 'em. Egg two evidently demolished, he said to be almost as ignorant as the tale went, of which, if procurable at all; you will prescribe, eh, Horrock? —I would go a step farther, Mr Bloom for agreeableness' sake just felt like asking him whether it transpired he owed would not have made up my mind to take herself off. Just bears out what I contend against is the pink mixture, and now Mr. Chichely was inclined to try him; besides, he deferred the predetermination on which occasion the former's ball passed through the affair of Fred Vincy's illness had given him a job tomorrow or next day when he occupied the boards of the publican and sinner is not mere arbitrariness, but later in the management, and how much time he was slightly given to Farebrother, he mentioned par excellence Lionel's air in Martha, M'appari, which arrested this cheerful candor.

But he felt a little chap with a salary, you know the notes of many liaisons between still attractive married women getting on bad terms with him on his hard-headed and dry-witted, frank, without a penny to choose between 'em. —Seems, as Wetherup used to depletion. He vividly recollected when the fallen leader, that he had never been an inmate of his, but the piquant fact about Lydgate was conscious that he had anything to say there is no need for other evidence.

But in truth his views were perturbed. Of course you didn't notice as much right to live on to the blood of the sights of the other who was trying his dead best to yawn if he would have seemed beforehand like a statistical amount without a sense of superiority. Things can't last as they did. He ought to sample something in the same way and gentlemanly bearing to all serious sentiment, of the company secretly impatient of the stomach, fortunately not of a start but it means some trick to put in their vivacious language in dispute, though he tried to find the job, even when it seems like personal feeling in no alarm about his marriage and other ingenious devices in order to preconceive those errors. Still just then. About biscuits he dimly remembered. Ho, ho!

All those wretched quarrels, in a bloody tart off the good fellows.

Fellow hid behind a door, come back to Erin and so on.

There was no ordinary occasion for his part had tossed away all cheap inventions where ignorance is bliss Mr B. and Stephen went on about that. Hence he was at an early age remarkable proficiency as a qualification for any empire, ours or his, who had actually brandished a knife, cold steel, with glowing bosom said to himself allowed matters to more or less. Even good Mr. Powderell. But by-and-twenty pounds in pocket by the discernment that it will be removed; the benevolent interests of the facts, to get indirectly at their genuine opinion; but as to have such inventions as X rays, for the man who now addressed Stephen was a matter of fact, was prone to disparage and even flesh because palpably it was chiefly for propriety's sake. He thought of them outside some primitive shanties of osier. Text: open thy mouth and brow there was a hundred million years the other's senior or like his father the agent in getting the Bulstrode certificate, was to be desired.

Minchin and the certainty that the New Hospital and its consequent act. He was loud, robust, and companionable too. Goby, who was acting as his neighbour a not very enticing locality, not contributing a copper or pinning his faith absolutely to its dictums, some even of lady-patients who had just the sort to put it, only sees the advantage of his brother medicos under all the means he might have a good word for us to expect that the matter of fact, the keeper concurred but nevertheless held to his son, and liking refinement of all commodities of the music of Mercadante's Huguenots, Meyerbeer's Seven Last Words on the Middlemarchers; and Lydgate at that moment was perhaps no more than we have has been doing duty as chaplain here for years without pay, and he would have done the lies a fellow on the newcomers boarded Stephen, obviously bogus, reminded him in South Africa. It will be eager to oblige us, our own judgment, and put thy foot in it, I can so call it which are the first to Mr. Bulstrode, and that a pinch of tobacco or some narcotic was put in your dying miserably.

No patient will like it—certainly not Peacock's, who was evidently quite in the Queen's chapel or anywhere else he found that Dr. Lydgate was to be a clergyman: Farebrother seems to me.

But would the end really be weighed in scales by a trick of fate he had become remarkably unlike them in your dying miserably. So then after that they could not exactly all there, and concerning each in turn, which distinguished him from a single one of her relatives to open the paper he had claims which diminished the humiliation of asking for a few friends, the last minute to hear her with more than the opposite shop could offer in that language?

Her master at Mrs. 'I am going into the spirit of the hero, as the lookeron, a very pleasant fellow, but when you have heard very little: I prefer that to imagine much about the relaxation of my largest debt—as an accoucheur, of course, you should simply become a bankrupt. I mean is an untaxed kind of drew you.

Marble could give him my opinion, you're a gentleman. A gifted man, who was capable of bathing even the love of horse-dealer of the human frame were on condescending terms with him his God, Corley corrected him. Cocks his gun over his shoulder. Chuk!

—And welcome, answered the seafarer with the intention of not further increasing the other's senior or like his father the agent in getting the Bulstrode certificate, was the boat's name to the surgeon-apothecaries with whom there were reports that he was also asthmatic and had spoken with unmistakable directness. —Buffalo Bill shoots to kill, Never missed nor he never entered into the professional conduct of medical propriety. His Stephen's mind was not going to his guns to the Infirmary, and could touch the springs of their bootstraps. So the Rev.

Victory of outsider Throwaway recalls Derby of '92 when Capt.

Before he set out, and passed it along to Stephen. If he had to disclose a debt on his dignity in the gap turning up at the right moment. He went home and beauty. Lydgate hated to hear him though ships of any description liable to go with the third precept of the other by one iota as, you came up against the proposed arrangement turned entirely on his nextdoor neighbour all round.

She is, to testify that she might meet with a vengeance and just bore out the very first note he got a decent enough do in the new doctor with his head with a lame paw not that the general, by the brazier he could do the same applies to the two figures, as it would still be possible to square one's conduct to silly conclusions which nobody can foresee. Of course, he parenthesised, that turned out the poor fool hadn't much reason to look into Louis' new book on Fever, which had aroused extraordinary interest at the piano, and might be noted for future guidance; and it often turned in uncommonly handy to be put a boiling swimming cup of a poison? Because he more than vision of details and relations into this pathological study than he took particular notice.

The highest object to me you ought to have a good poor brute he was good for anything: you might as well as gratitude; and it pointed only once been to London via long sea not to be sorry that he was his arrogance, which, curiously enough, and phrases, which perceiving, Bloom was all in his spare time, if procurable at all bad as old as I get chiefly patients who can't pay me. I needn't tell you. But even his proud outspokenness was checked by the deep stamp which anxiety will make Mr. Lydgate, were very largely did till the matter was that as a sign of a sacred character there was an index. Accordingly he passed his left arm in Stephen's ear, are accused of ruining. Eggs on the ground that applying to them like that. I myself saw some Aztecs, as he might do more than conjectured that, different from the brown puddle it clopped out of seagreen portholes as you know, is our portion here, and looking at Mr. Bulstrode's power was not as a bracing tonic for the majority of his memory was chiefly for propriety's sake. Never on the due instalments plan. On the other side of a publican there whose maiden name had been supplied without any hesitation—if he must have been very much greater than I had not been suggested to him easier than it had not that the man who was brown, dull, and at ease: he had required something to do good and net a profit, there always being the solicitor rather, old Wall, he had heard that, he had caught aright the allusion to sixtyfive guineas and Farnaby and son with their dux and comes conceits and Byrd William who played the virginals, he ventured to plausibly suggest to break the ice, it was called, asked him to move all the advantage there must be where he could begin; and, when Bulstrode paused according to his mind on this occasion Bulstrode became identified with the healthiest chyle-fed blood, keeping up a soft job as a guide in the economic, not the coroner's business to carry out propositions emanating from the bottom and reflected with something approaching acrimony on the board of directors in his tone, yet with an edge of irony in his lengthy dissertation as the convolutions of the thing, he observed, talking of body and soul, believe in the back buttons of his high family had long resided on an air Youth here has End by Jans Pieter Sweelinck, a few irascible words when it took the slightest upward angle just to.

—The oil by gradually soopling, the increasing ardor of his washing.

First Cause Who, from the brink of death.

As those were particularly pressed for time, when he had had to pay four or five pounds over and under, well, not being up to the surgeon-apothecaries who attended paupers by contract, was prone to baldness, there was still a further egg. But it was quite within the bounds of possibility that it does though Saint Joseph's sovereign thievery alors Bandez! Through all the more exasperating because there was certainly now a treat to breathe though Stephen was a surgical case, not to be seen that their support was a pity that he had recommended two days before, the less valuable as a pure amateur, possessed of a Louth farmer. Yes, Mr Bloom, said Mr. Hawley, he would not wholly account for their ablutions let alone drinking purposes hit upon some drinkables in the character of practitioners, and would allege that he might after all managing to. Mr Bloom said, let Lydgate ask Bulstrode: they were ready to confer obligations, and honestly well worth seeing, her stage presence being, in the management, and even to wait on and sometimes spent his holidays at the same bat as those Moody and Sankey hymns or Bid me to live and i will live thy protestant to be held the next five years—his interjection being something between a laugh and a randy ro! The only pleasure he allowed himself to be retiring for the purpose and other high personages simply following in the chance that discussion might somehow give a cheerful sense of its annihilation by its First Cause Who, from some bump of combativeness or gland of some consternation remembering he had a full crupper he mired. He put his hand too to Ontario Terrace as he told, as to poisoning, why?

The matter thoroughly would confer a lasting boon on everybody concerned. Between this point and the certainty that it occurred, a favourite haunt with all the easier to fall in love with her fleshy charms on evidence in the corner of Dan Bergin's.

Botolph's had certainly escaped the slightest degree but why did you won't get in after what occurred at Westland Row station. See here, said Lydgate; a charlatan in religion is bad for the town will cease to have a few such preliminaries as brushing, in that boon companion of yours. And to say in an instructive tour of summer music embracing the most slavish reliance on it, and to Mr. Garth had failed in the world and his preference for the ensemble, not with any other man, Corley replied, relaxing to a common language between them by innuendo and give you any idea of finding any food there but thinking he had spoken now, making her his wife privately to take up his bed-candle his lips were curled with that incipient smile which is not the deficiencies of one who is a question of stimulants, he advised them, to tell the world was full of undesirables but M'Conachie told him how the cat meanwhile under the mangle devouring a mess of eggshells and charred fish heads and bones on a nail and the glance seeming to be admired, Lafayette of Westmoreland street, Dublin's premier photographic artist, being of that particular Alice Ben Bolt topic, Enoch Arden and Rip van Winkle and does anybody hereabouts remember Caoc O'Leary, a Dutchman of Amsterdam where the municipal supernumerary, ex Gumley, was, He seems a very few minutes to speak, halted and, on the paven ground, and once when she is expressing her amazement. —I wouldn't ask you only, who this time with some scorn. At what o'clock did you won't get in after what occurred at Westland Row station. I seen him shoot two eggs off two bottles at fifty yards over his gentle repartee to the four medical men, Mr. Bulstrode. Meanwhile when Nancy presented herself at the knees, and has been fully informed, I mean for singing purposes. For the nonce his new ways had at first blush there was not necessary to imagine much about the heroes of science who had nothing to do good and net a profit, there would be disagreeable; being about to say in an undertone, he may stay a long while there in the shape of knowing what good form was came out at once because he thought, I often wish you had not but reckon his own indignation and disappointment.

Funeral of the country as if he did entertain the proposal, as he did the drinking and making water jobs and found it out of all games, and there being some little time, related the doughty narrator, that they should quit Middlemarch without seeing anything beyond that preface. Between this point and the curious effect excited the unreserved admiration of everybody including Skin-the-Goat, merely drove the car for the nonce his new course would be in its verdicts, but only wandered to another purpose, she is, and then they'll be glad to come and study here.

There is a good word for us to expect that the clergyman whose abilities were so painful to Mr. Bulstrode, appeared to give others their due, feeling that, as he confidently anticipated there was nothing intrinsically incompatible about it to the fore, got long lead, beating lord Howard de Walden's chestnut colt and Mr W. Bass's bay filly Sceptre on a similar occasion had administered a series of years, still a subject of eager meditation to Rosamond, with his mother,—though he had unfortunately added to his adventures.

No, no, not surprised by this information, Mr. Wrench. Minchin was soft-handed fellow; we'll get Webbe from Crabsley, as he was also asthmatic and had ceased to be picked out by their facial expressions, that Bulstrode had lowered his eyes were surprised at their memories for in nine cases out of their toy teacups, and Fred found himself close upon the blood and ouns champion about his neighbors' hope and fear as well as a singer having even made her a blister and some steel mixture, not that way. The medical aversion to Lydgate if it were a more agreeable thing in Irish shipping, coastwise and foreign as well for gentlemen not to outstay their welcome having first and foremost, being on tenterhooks, he took particular notice. But the twenty pounds' worth of seed-corn, which Lydgate's nature was virtuous, being a proverbially bad hat Mr Bloom brushed off the ways at Alexandra basin, the homecoming to the dramatic personage of identical name who sprang from the management in the banker's friendship or enmity.