#might have to use this for the actual story XF

[sergeantnarwhalwrites]

Hollis the Multifaceted

This is for you @winterandwords! And any of the other Hollis lovers. Lol, I need a break from my school stuff. So we've got a bit of a Hollis character study going. I am also speed writing this on my phone so apologies in advance.

And a picrew of Hollis to the left and Green to the right.

Taglist: Tag list: @outpost51 @nanashi23 @winterandwords @jezifster @kk7-rbs @aether-wasteland-s @dumbthunder @manathen @the-void-writes @liv-is (Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist!) 

Hollis's bottom lip poked out, begrudgingly organizing the scattered parts on one of her multiple cluttered tables. She knew she could have a better system with stuff like this. And she should as an engineer/roboticist/doctor knock off. But she had been far too busy to make it look pretty.

She gathered parts she had hastily pulled out earlier in attempts to reattach an almost completely severed prosthetic. Her stomach did a hearty flip at the thought. The fix was— sketchy. She had to think as quickly as possible as she forcibly rebuilt and jerry rigged a leg prosthetic. The calf dangling from from the knee from a few wires, the joint bulging and tearing through fake skin. Hollis had sucked in a breath when she saw blood. Meaning she had to fuck around with living tissue too.

The engineer pushed a pile aside. Threatening to push them onto the muddied cement floor.

She poked the tip of her tongue through the gap in her teeth. Eyes wandering the dented walls in front of her. Door far to her left awkwardly hanging from the hinges. Torn through recliner she had often slept in not to far from it. She ignored the whirring of one of her bots leisurely rolling past her feet. Briefly overwhelmed with the desire of kicking it.

She rolled her shoulders back. Gaze lingering on the crooked door now, even though she couldn't see it clearly. Lenses removed from her eyes hours ago. And glasses snapped in two. It was starting to feel like a prison. Hollis crossed her arms then. So so smart. But dumb enough to make her own cell. Fancy enough to lack real bars. Just the piles of scrap, limbs, and endlessly injured that filtered in forming an ugly barrier.

"Fuck it."

Hollis slipped both arms free from the straps of her overalls. Tugging down the top as she approached another table with her phone, keys, and jacket. With heavy steps she hurried out, practically tearing new holes in the jacket with the force. She kicked the door closed behind her heading directly to the hangout she'd been too busy to see for months.

It was enough to convince her to leave. Hopefully the crowd would be enough to convince her it was worth it. She hadn't left one shit hole job just to suffer on her own. She'd never let them get the best of her twice. Her thoughts enough to make the rushed journey through streets with overfilled cars. The gust of wind from the overhead train barely disturbing the thick gray of smog.

She weaved through through one last street of cars forcibly stopped by the flashing lights up ahead. The engineer knocked her knee against the approaching door. Grunting as she lifted a stubborn handle, before jerking it to the side. Grinning a bit breathless when the door eased its way open.

Hollis had made her way to a classic. Though it had aged a bit over the years. The owner annoyedly scrubbing at mold on the wall. Music from the composers that typically performed here played through speakers hooked into the walls. If she stayed long enough she'd hear one of her piano solos filling the space. Something she had written before getting hired by a big bioengineering firm.

One wall lined with filled booths. A lot of the wealthier rejected the classic hangouts like this. But Hollis thought the busted doors, menus actually made by humans, and mystery stains on a few of the walls gave a place character. It is was always nice when she could play music for dancers that drifted in for a little extra cash.

And damn was the environment so much more inviting than her own home/workshop right now. She found her way to a bar seat, though she knew she wouldn't drink. But it was a nice spot to people watch, though it was more like ass watching.

"Hollis! Babe! You came for a show or we gonna see you play tonight?" The woman tapped Hollis's phone scanning it for payment before placing a nonalcholic beer on the counter.

Hollis grinned hearing the beep of a successful payment. She grabbed her beer looking away from the bartender. Fishing through her jacket pockets for her backup glasses. Humming in content when she found them.

"I came for a distraction. Whatever happens, happens," Hollis admitted sliding her glasses on.

"Well we always keep the keyboard clean for you. We'd invest in one of those fancy pianos for you if you came around more." The bartender laughed then, "And the top floor."

Hollis laughed then, taking a long sip.

"You trying to join me upstairs?" Hollis questioned, resting her head in her palm.

The bartender grinned, warm light of the bar gleaming off of her teeth, "I don't know. You don't seem very enthused. Work been dragging you down, babe?"

Hollis rolled her eyes then, giving her can a shallow tip towards her mouth. Savoring the taste coating her tongue.

"And if it has been are you offering a way to pull me back up?" Hollis grinned, tongue clamped between her teeth, "Or are you just going to tease me all night?"

The engineer turned to fully face her. The barstool squeaking at her movement. She looked the bartender up and down. Once. Then twice. Feeling her lips quirk at the urgency the bartender moved to wipe the counter.

The bartender went to speak, quickly interrupted by a heavy woman with a heavy sigh. Shirt unbuttoned enough to rip Hollis's attention straight away from the bartender to more pressing matters. Hollis watched a bead of sweat roll down her neck and swallowed.

"You find everything you were looking for Green?" The bartender questioned sliding the woman a glass of water.

The woman, Green, grunted low. Gave a small nod.

"Headin' to the next town over. Probably on a bus right now. I'll get that money from him." She shook the ice in her glass, taking a hearty sip.

Green's eyes locked on Hollis. Feeling the engineer's eyes on her.

Hollis didn't shrink under her gaze. Finishing off her drink as she stared.

"You're beautiful. You come in for the music?"

Green's eyebrows shot up. Eyes glancing around the space before she pointed at herself.

"Talkin' to me like that?"

Hollis shrugged and looked up at her a bit surprised by the deepening of the other woman's voice, "Why wouldn't I be?"

Green gestured to herself. Hollis caught sight of the bruised knuckles that time. And a tear in the knee of her slacks.

"I'm not the beautiful type. But music's a reason I'm here." Green responded stressing the 'a', lifting the glass to her lips.

Hollis laughed a little, "I think I can give you a couple other reasons. If you give me some time."

Green tapped her glass on the table, a very small and very crooked grin appearing on her face briefly. Hollis welcomed the small bloom of confidence in her chest. Pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose she met Green's eyes. Green unbuttoned the last few buttons holding her shirt closed. Hollis's eyes gladly followed the newly exposed skin.

"You just wanna fuck." Green laughed softly, it was a harsh sound leaving her throat, Hollis doubted she did it often.

Hollis shrugged again, not willing to lie, "So you're saying no to being my muse? Or joining me in the bed?"

"I've got someone far prettier to keep my bed warm. But it wouldn't be very gentlewomanly of me to leave you hanging." Green stated lifting herself from the stool.

Hollis watched her, finding herself smile a little hard when Green turned her head around. Green's eyes jabbing her after taking a brief look herself.

"Hurry before I make that gap in your teeth bigger."

Hollis slid off of the stool and took the woman's hand, "You'd be into it too wouldn't you?"

Green rolled her eyes. Grunting softly beneath her breath. Refusing to answer Hollis's question as she was led upstairs.

[rosakuma]

Soooo….I have a theory about MonoTV based off of @a-star-that-burns-brightly’s post about MonoTV regarding to Teruko(link below right here, give it a read, it is very good ^^) :

Had this on the back burner for a little bit, but here we go.

So the theory I have is a bit silly and might be far fetched, but what if MonoTV is Mai Akasaki? Or alternatively somehow created or influenced by her?

As crazy as this sounds, I have a feeling thanks to the recent/last ep of ch.2 that this might be more possible.

For starters, while we know what that most likely XF-Ture is behind in some of the creation process for MonoTV in term of this line

But that doesn't mean that they created it. For all we know, MonoTV could’ve been created by someone else. Even they don't know who is their creator is.

MonoTV: All the decisions I make were already decided by whatever entity created me, because I am a robot.

This reminds me how in DR2, Monomi(a.k.a Usami) and AI Chiaki was created by Chihiro Fujisaki, but is used by the future foundation as observers over the NEO world program in regarding of rehabilitating the remnants of despair. Created by someone else, but used by a group/company.

Throughout this chapter, we seen MonoTV interact with Teruko a lot. Having her help it with the chalking, while stating not out of well concern for her being it still advised Teruko to be careful with her stab wound, offering her Monocredits to get away from others, and now with its conversation with Teruko at the end of the ch.2 trial.

When a-star-that-burns-brightly noted how it trusts Teruko to remain with it in the empty trial room despite her being responsible for trying to kill it with having Ace punch the lights out of them resulting in their broken screen and tries answering Teruko with a sense of both giving advice and confiding in her…it got me thinking, could MonoTV have remains in its data to have a sort of connection towards Teruko?

The only person we know confirmed via flashback that either knew or had connections to Teruko pre killing game as of right now is Mai Akasaki. And we definitely know Mai is important to the plot and possibly this killing game too. So what I feel that strengthen this is MonoTV’s secret quote and Teruko’s quote about Mai.

MonoTV: Her name is Mai Akasaki.

Teruko: Some years ago, she was searching for someone named ‘Teruko Tawaki.’

At some point of the story, MonoTV will tell us about Mai Akasaki since the secret quotes from the cast is mentioned or alluded to in the main story and bonus episodes. Same goes to Teruko’s which probably will happen if Teruko gets her memories back about Mai.

So regardless if Mai, Hope’s peak, or XF-Ture is behind the killing game. I believe one of two things happen:

Theory 1# Mai created MonoTV

We yet to know her ultimate talent and whether or not that could come into her creating MonoTV. But for the heck of this theory, let’s say Mai has knowledge and materials for how to create a robot. Mai created MonoTV whether for whatever the intentions were for and added her connection or her relationship with Teruko into it. Actually now talking about it, perhaps Mai created MonoTV to find Teruko? Regardless the intention, XF-Ture either A. Stole MonoTV from Mai to reprogram it for the killing game or B. Mai actually worked with XF-Ture to create MonoTV for the killing game. Thus why despite it being program to run the killing game regardless of its guilt or regrets it can feel and supposedly should not be able to care for any of the participants here, it somehow cares or trusts Teruko thanks to Mai’s connection to her. Plus some speculate that maybe the killing game was to withheld or kill Teruko, and we know Mai is searching for her thanks to Teruko’s secret quote.

Theory 2# Mai IS MonoTV

Yep, that’s right. We’re going full fnaf here with the possession of a robot. A lot of people in the fandom think that Mai might be dead and that can be likely since she’s well…not here. But what if she was? Essentially for whatever reason XF-Ture or Hope Peak if they’re involved when creating this killing game, they decided Mai was going to run it. So they A. stuff her into MonoTV against her will since she refused to run it alive or B. MonoTV needed a soul to run it, so they killed Mai and stuffed her into it to be able to make it work. It could even explain why MonoTV can feel pain or guilt if there’s a human soul trapped within it.

I get possession is a little off here in terms of why a tech company needs to kill a high schooler to run their little mascot, but I don't think it's abnormal for this series.

Plus remember, drdt takes place in canon Danganronpa timeline with DR1, DR2, UDG, and DR3(not V3, the anime). In which Ultra Despair Girls proved the existence of ghost is real thanks to Komaru being able to see(and got possessed by) Monaca Towa’s dad. Not to mention Chiaki in the NEO World Program was inspired by the real life Chiaki who was classmates with people in Class 77-B. So regardless if Mai is a ghost possessing MonoTV or she created it, its not far fetched to believe in this world that possession or creating artificial intelligence based off a real person can happen. Also I know this is a reached too since they both have different VAs, but I swear to you, unnamed student(who we assume is Mai) and MonoTV after being decked by Ace with its voice change sounds similar to me. Maybe that’s just me though.

Either way, if this is true, then its a sad fate for this little machine on whether its being forcefully reprogram to override its original creator’s intentions, was program this way despite being given the ability to feel remorse, or is a trapped soul being forced thanks to orders in it to kill its old friends against it's will

[sassycheesecake]

A/N: Hello people, this is my first time trying to write something and I got three more One Shots I am currently working on, different than this one. The ‘Truth or Drink’ game belongs to the YouTube Channel ‘CUT’ but the dialogue is completely made up by yours truly :p. I had so much fun writing this and Osamu’s child story is actually based on a real story my husband once told me about.

Likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated!<3 PLEASE DO NOT COPY OR PLAGIARIZE MY WORK! AND DO NOT TRANSLATE WITH INTEND TO COPY MY WORK!!!

genre: fluff

warnings: drinking, cursing, the miya twins being the miya twins, mentions of sex

words: 1776 (the year when the Independence in US was signed, what a coincidence)

Truth or drink with my twin (Atsumu Miya xf!Reader)

Soft orchestral music plays in the background as (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and Osamu Miya each take a seat at the table that’s been set up with Tequila and two shot glasses. Between the both of them is a stack of cards which they have to read out.

Director: Who are you guys and what are you doing here today?

You both look at the camera and introduce yourselves.

Y/N: ,,My name is (Y/N).’’

Osamu: ,,Name’s Osamu Miya.’’

Y/N: ,,I am here because my boyfriend’’- you point towards Atsumu sitting on the couch, watching the both of you with a smirk on his face -,,invited me here today to meet his twin’’.

Osamu: ,,And I am here cuz my brother was almost begging me to come here to participate in this game.’’

Atsumu yells in the background ‘That is SO not true!’ making the crew members laugh.

Cameraman: Is this your guys’ first time meeting each other?

Both: ,,Yup.’’

Crew Member: All right let’s get this started!

You turn back towards Osamu to face him.

Y/N: ,,You wanna start off with a shot?’’

Osamu: ,,Yeah, let’s do this.’’

You both clink your shot glasses together as you down the shots.

Director: Let’s start with the first question.

You grab the first card from the deck.

Y/N: ,,What were your first thoughts, when you heard that your brother was dating me?’’

Osamu sends a mischievous look towards Atsumu and quickly looks back at you.

Osamu: ,,Well to be honest, at first I pitied you for dating such a scrub like him but after seeing his lovesick smile on his face and talking about you nonstop, almost making my ears bleed, I was happy for him. Yer seem to make him really happy and I am glad ya can deal with his antics. You have a lot of patience. Hell, I’d even say yer tolerance towards him is a lot bigger than mine.’’

You laugh a little and a quiet ‘Awww’ comes out of your mouth.

Osamu grabs the next card from the deck.

Osamu: ,,How often-Oh God. Ya might wanna take a shot on this one.’’ You give him a weird look and tilt your head a little bit.

Director: What’s it say?

Osamu inhales deeply through his nose and rubs his hand over his face.

Osamu: ,,How often do you guys have sex?’’ After hearing that question, your face turns red with embarrassment. You hide your face behind your hands and groan loudly, making the crewmembers and Atsumu laugh.

Atsumu: ,,More than ya know! I’d say at least 5-6 times a week! That’s a lot more than ya will ever get in yer life!’’

Y/N: ,,I swear y'all trying to get me drunk.’’ You grab the Tequila bottle and pour yourself a shot, dumping it down quickly.

Osamu grabs the next card and reads the first words and gives the camera a deadpan look.

Osamu: ,,On a scale of one to ten-Who the hell comes up with these questions?! How good is my brother in bed? Give details.’’

You stare wide eyed at Osamu and you feel yourself choking on your words.

Osamu: ,,Please take the shot, I really don’t want to know.’’

You’re about to grab the bottle when one of the crew members halts your movements.

Crew member: C’mon this game is no fun if Y/N doesn’t answer that.

Atsumu: ,,Yeah c’mon babe, don’t be shy. Spill the details.’’ You just give him a pissed look.

Atsumu laughs at your annoyed expression.

Y/N: ,,Alright, ehm.. I guess I have to say he never leaves me unsatisfied. And he always has the energy for like 2-3 sounds. That’s all I am gonna say.’’

Osamu has his elbow on the table and rests his head on his hand while giving you a winced expression.

Osamu: ,,Gosh you guys are fucking up my life right now. I hope yer happy.’’ Osamu fills his shot glass with Tequila and drinks it down, hoping to forget this whole day.

You grab the next card and read it out.

Y/N: ,,What’s the most embarrassing story that you remember of Atsumu as a child?’’

Osamu tilts his head and his gaze wanders to the ceiling, looking deep in thought.

Osamu: ,,I remember this one time our family went out for dinner one night. Tsumu and I were about 9 years old. Tsum was falling asleep at the table and I told him just to lay down if he is so tired. So that idiot actually fell asleep underneath the table. As we were getting ready to leave, I just looked at Tsum and said to our parents that he would already be waiting in the car. I think mum was a little bit drunk, so she was just going along with what I said. All of us left the restaurant and we drove back for a little bit. All of sudden mum’s phone rang and it was the restaurant. They said that Tsum was underneath the table when they were cleaning up. I swear Ma had a heart attack and she just looked back in her seat and she saw that only I was in the back. In the end, I got grounded and Tsumu didn’t talk to me for a whole week.’’

You just stare at Osamu with an open mouth as you process his words. The crewmembers are laughing hysterically before you burst out laughing as well.

Atsumu looks at Osamu with a frown and pouts.

Atsumu: ,,Yeah and I am still pissed about that with ya. How can ya do that? Especially to ya own flesh n’ blood?’’ While putting a hand on his chest to give off a dramatic gesture.

Osamu and you both look at Atsumu, while Osamu gives him a disinterested look and you are still trying to contain your laughter, almost tearing up.

Osamu: ,,Yer had it coming, ya ate all of my candy that I hid in one of my drawers from ya.’’

Atsumu: ,,Because ya never share anything with me in the first place!’’

Osamu: ,,Excuse me? I had to share a bedroom AND a bathroom with you for 19 freaking years! As if that isn’t punishment enough.’’

The twins continue to bicker back and forth and you just watch with an amused smile. You look into the camera with a sheepish smile and breathe out a small sigh.

Y/N: ,,This could take a while. Sorry about that.’’

Director: Oh don’t worry about it.

The director claps his hands a few times to gain the twins’ attention back to the game. They stop bickering and stick out their tongues towards each other. Osamu turns back to you and combs his hand through his hair and breathes deeply to calm himself down.

Osamu: ,,Sorry ‘bout that.’’

Y/N: ,,Oh don’t worry about it, it was very entertaining.’’ You give him a smile that he returns.

Crew member: Alright movin’ on. Read the next card, Osamu.

Osamu grabs a new card from the deck and drinks a little bit from the orange juice glass that is placed next to him. He clears his throat and reads it out.

Osamu: ,,Who do you think is better looking? Me or Tsum-Tsum?’’ He gives you a flirty smile and poses a little bit in his seat.

Y/N: ,,Well I mean considering you two are twins I’d say both of you look good the same amount. But I am a loyal soul so I am gonna stick with Tsumie.’’

Osamu nods in understanding and gestures for you to take a new card.

You read over it and slam it down on the table startling Osamu. You immediately reach for Osamu’s shot glass and pour him some Tequila.

Osamu: ,,Ya haven’t even read the question out loud. Go on, can’t be worse than knowing now how long Tsumu lasts in bed.’’ Osamu still takes the shot glass from your hand and starts drinking it just as you read out the next question.

Y/N: ,,Would you ever have a threesome with me and your brother?’’

Osamu spits out the drink and starts coughing violently. You stand up and pat him on his back, trying to get him out of his coughing fit.

Osamu: ,,Goodness no fucking way! I mean, don’t get me wrong you’re very pretty but hell no!’’ Osamu exclaims loudly while trying to breathe.

The crew members are laughing at Osamu’s outburst.

Atsumu doesn’t look too thrilled with his twin brother’s response in calling you very pretty but he doesn’t want to start another fiasco. Then again, he really couldn’t care less since it’s his name you scream almost every night.

Crew member: Osamu would you ever consider dating Y/N if Atsumu wasn’t?

Osamu turns to the camera and then looks Atsumu dead in the eye. Atsumu is mouthing to him ‘Don’t’ while shaking his head. But Osamu is not scared of Atsumu. You tense up and pray to the Gods that Osamu chooses the right answer. What you hear next though, is not what you expected.

Osamu: ,,I’d say yeah, she is my type but I wouldn’t interfere in their relationship cuz she makes him happy and if he makes her happy too, that’s all I care about. If you do ever break up though, ya know where to find me.’’ Osamu winks at you making you blush a little bit at his flirtatious attempts.

Atsumu sends a death glare into his brother’s direction.

Atsumu: ,,Watch it.’’

Osamu: ,,Relax bro, I'm just kiddin’ ‘’

Director: Alright guys last question.

You grab the last card and read it out.

Y/N: ,,Do you think I am good enough for you brother?’’

Osamu pours himself another shot before answering.

Osamu: ,,To be honest, I think you’re TOO good for him. You’re very nice, smart and you seem like a good person. Unlike him cuz he’s a rude asshole. If he ever does treat you like shit though call me or Ma, we’ll beat him up for ya.‘’

You giggle at his comment and thank him for the offer.

Atsumu: ,,Babe don’t gang up on me! I thought ya loved me!’’

You glance at him and send a kiss towards his direction while giving him a wink, that always makes his heart beat faster.

Y/N: ,,Don’t worry baby, you know I’ll always love ya no matter what. You and me forever right?’’

Atsumu gives you a lovesick smile while Osamu almost gags at the sight.

Atsumu: ,,I love ya too baby and yup it’s me and you forever.’’

The whole crew awws at your loving exchange.

[tellmethisisnottumblisnextfuckup]

hi gabi!! so glad to see you're back since the last time i checked, you were still sorting out the deletion issue.. so relieved to see your stuff can still be accessed too!! i've spent the good past hour scrolling through my favorite tags, one in particular is the "EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ROOM" tag bc it's full of larrie conversion/anecdotes either from the anons or their friends/family/strangers.. something about it just feels so satisfying and strangely, so validating.

i thought about checking these old tags after some time bc i also have a story myself, involving my parents this time. they're cool and are pretty open-minded for the most part, but they never really knew about all the larry stuff despite being a casual listener of 1D since xf (or at least casual in their eyes haha) anyway, they never striked me as the type of people that would be invested in celebrity culture nor care to listen to my rants about something i would consider a big part of my teen years, being a huge fan of the boys, louis and harry in particular. my mom recently watched a documentary about victoria secret models and was truly appalled and disgusted about the dark truth of the modeling industry. our conversation led to how media, publicity, etc. all the shit celebrities might actually have to suffer through behind closed doors. naturally, i mentioned the band and gauged their reaction about these people that are definitely famous yet weighing in the real exchange of the reality they have to live with.

this is getting long but to cut the story short, after a quite loaded conversation with their passionate larrie daughter, it didn't take much convincing. i grew up with the boys basically but now just realized just how much of their image was carefully crafted and catered towards young girls. time will tell where this leads us and more importantly where it leads them but i think we can hope that there could be real change when people decide to talk—whether they even decide to talk. here's to hoping that when they do, it will be on their terms as well. after all this shit, they deserve so much more but they're guaranteed at least that.

Thank you so much dear anon for sharing this with me! It’s amazing to have such a reaction. Did the family dinners turn into deeper Larry conversations? 😃

[mulderist]

Everglow

Rated: NC17 || Smut/RST/First-Time || Words 2k+ || tagging @today-in-fic

Unspoken communication results in a less than standard night at a hotel after an assignment. Non-sexual touching leads to first-time sex. (Written for the XF Fanfic Smut Exchange)

A comfortable silence. It was strange to feel so at ease and, god-forbid, actually feel happy. White lines zipped along the dark road in front of them and a tandem of headlights raced down in the opposite direction. They illuminated the interior of the rental car just long enough for her to see him smile. The radio held onto one of the last stations before they left the county and pushed further into the dark.

Hold me closer, tiny dancer

Count the headlights on the highway

Lay me down in sheets of linen

You had a busy day today

“Well, I’d say that’s pretty appropriate wouldn’t you?” Mulder asked while he adjusted his hands on the wheel, flexing his fingers as Elton continued another chorus. Scully grinned and shook her head then thought about how it felt to twirl and sway with him in that small club. Cher sang out about walking in Memphis as Mulder’s arm circled Scully’s waist, innocent like a high school dance. The megawatt smile that could have powered the whole room as he held her hand.

“Maybe the universe is sending us a message,” she coyly replied.

“You mean like our story isn’t over yet?” he playfully countered while turning down the volume on the radio. She hummed in response and shifted in the seat. Another set of headlights swept past, white lines continued their march to the horizon. She placed her left hand on the bench seat of the sedan and slid it across the rough microfiber closer towards the center. He reached his right hand down and linked his little finger around hers. She softened against the back of the passenger side, savoring the small connection. It felt different than so many of the other handholds and caresses they bestowed on one another. With this chaste gesture she realized he wasn’t there as a desperate lifeline; he wasn’t pulling her out of the dark into safety. He was there, simply sharing the same tender moment with her on a quiet highway.

----

Minutes passed by. The cool glass of the window against Scully’s cheek roused her; the radio had lost its signal miles ago resulting in the low drone of tires on the road. Mulder slipped his hand from hers to stifle a yawn.

“I think I might find a place to stop for the night. I’m getting a bit of road hypnosis and you look like you could use some rest.”

“That might not be a bad idea.” She caught his yawn while brushing her hair behind her ears. The green highway signs offered little refuge for several miles, but eventually Mulder spied something of interest and pulled the rental over to the offramp. The first available hotel was a step up from their usual digs while on assignment. Scully offered to wait in the car while he went inside to check-in. She stared at her hands then knitted her fingers together. Her mind wandered back to the quiet moments on the drive. Snippets of conversations, Mulder’s chuckle when she offered a humorous comment about comic book monsters. The feeling of his finger wrapped around hers as their hands rested comfortably on the center seat.

The tide of arousal pulled at her center. She placed her hands between her knees and chided herself for feeling so eager so quickly. Her thigh muscles twitched as she squeezed them against her fingers. Not since their trip to Florida had she felt like this. Although, that night she only found satisfaction by her own hand, fantasizing about his touch as he traced the curves of her body. Scully let her eyes close briefly, remembering the need and desire to be with him that night; conference be damned. And now here she was again, in another rental car, another road trip, and another hotel.

What was taking Mulder so long? Maybe there are no vacancies.

Right on cue, he left the front desk and walked around the front of the car. Mulder got in and started to slowly drive away.

“The room is down on this side of the building. I’ll see if I can get a spot out front.”

“Glad they had something available,” Scully said after clearing her throat. Mulder parked the car and cut the engine. The night air was crisp with a gentle breeze rolling down from the highway. They retrieved their well-travelled overnight bags from the trunk and headed for the door. Scully presented her palm to accept her room key, however Mulder stalled then dangled a solitary key from his index finger. She cocked her head and started to say something but he beat her to it.

“I used my credit card. Didn’t want this little side trip to show up on the Bureau expense report.”

“Mulder, I —” Her voice trailed off. That high level of unspoken communication was making its presence known.

He entered first and turned on the light to survey the modest room, she followed close behind. He tossed his bag on the second bed and she set hers down in the same spot. Mulder stood dangerously close then suddenly reached for her cheek. The topography of Scully’s face could be charted if he was blindfolded. He adored the angles of her cheekbones, the slope of her nose, the bow of her lips. Even in the glow of a harsh yellow hotel lamp she was radiant.

Scully felt her cheeks flush and she leaned into his hand. A ragged exhale surprised her but he didn’t seem to notice. He continued his journey down along her neck, along her shoulder, and ending at her wrist. The brush of his fingers across the dorsum of her hand caused her to hold her breath. Mulder traced the lines of her delicate metacarpal bones with the pad of his middle finger ending at the space between her thumb and index finger. On instinct she turned her hand over and let him draw a line down her palm, charting a course over the heartline. Her skin felt electric under his touch. He then took her hand to his lips and slowly, tenderly, kissed each knuckle. Eyes never left hers, a lust-laden blink was the only thing that separated the connection. She uncurled her fingers from him and brought her hand to his cheek. Without hesitation, Scully pulled him close and firmly kissed his surprisingly soft lips. She had imagined how they would feel against hers. She wanted to be kissed to feel alive, to feel something other than fear and pain. She was tired of the kiss on the cheek, the traditional goodbye kiss, the one that was all too common when she was at the hospital. Now, she wanted to be kissed to feel renewed and loved.

“Wait, Scully, wait,” Mulder said breathlessly as he rested his forehead against hers. She held onto the back of his neck, smoothing the short tufts of hair.

“Why?” The question came fast and her eyes squeezed shut, focusing instead on the tight lines of his neck under her fingertips.

“If we do this... �� he whispered as he blessed her furrowed brow.

“I want nothing more than this; than you,” she answered with both hands framing his face. He pressed back to look at her, the glimmer of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. Her thumbs moved to his lips and he pursed against them. Her chin lifted and she pulled him close, kissing him firmly. Oxytocin flooded her brain when his tongue danced with hers. His choreography was on point with subtle twists and turns. She felt like she was floating. She wanted more and boldly started to loosen his tie.

Suit jackets were hastily discarded. Mulder tugged at her ribbed shirt to release it from the waistband of her pants. She gasped when his hands slipped under the material and skimmed her waist then moved up her back. She worked to catch him up, fumbling with the buttons on his dress shirt but he pushed back, quickly pulling the stubborn garment over his head. It fell to the floor along with his tie. She removed her shirt and for a moment had a pang of modesty standing in front of him in a basic bra, wishing she had worn something with a little more lace. Her gaze washed over his torso, admiring him without the physician’s veil. Short fingernails traced the tracks of his abdominals and her soft downward gaze took notice of the generous hard-on straining against his pants.

Time slowed down as they embraced, lips met over and over. His fingers twisted lovingly in her hair. He leaned down and sucked on the side of her neck, the tip of his tongue caressed her throbbing pulse. His right hand cupped the soft fabric of her bra, the sweep of his thumb resulted in a perfectly puckered nipple. She felt a wonderful heat surge between her legs as he tasted her collarbone and nipped at her shoulder. Her knees quivered and her head rolled to the side, allowing him to guide the bra strap down her arm. He was rock hard against her lower abdomen. A mere breath was between them. She moved her hands to his hips though they didn’t stay long and instead ventured to stroke his cock.

“Ooh Scully,” Mulder sharply inhaled. He languidly licked his lips as she undid his belt and unzipped his fly. A well-trained hand caught him and teased the moist head. The ripples of his shaft graced her palm while she stroked, working like a fine-tuned piston. Soon she broke her rhythm thanks in part to his warm fingers pressing into her newly exposed left breast. Her stance wavered and she had to move to the bed, pulling him with her. Finally skin to skin. Lips had to connect once again. He brushed a wisp of hair from her cheek when he pulled away slightly.

“Touch me, Mulder,” she whispered. He gave a wry grin and eased her other breast out of the bra, watching her nipple stiffen when the cool air of the room hit her skin. She hummed sweetly while he toyed with the puckered skin of her areola, pinching the firm bud. He suckled and flicked her nipple with his tongue as she writhed underneath him. Her arms stretched overhead and gripped the bedspread, back arched slightly as he teased. His erection pressed into the valley of her hip and thigh. He echoed her subtle gyrations. Scully could feel the wetness spreading in between her legs. She desperately needed to undo her pants. Mulder took the hint and sweetly kissed her again before unfastening the small hook and working on the zipper.

Her belly hollowed as his hand slid down the front of her damp cotton underwear. Fingers brushed over her curls and dipped into the dewy slit.

“Yes…please touch me.”

His fingertips swirled, one became two when he found the button nestled in damp soft folds. She held her breasts, kneading the soft skin like a kitten. A gasp escaped when his pace quickened and his attention focused on plunging in and out of her pussy. Her hips rolled, the sound of slick skin, the musky perfume of her sex.

“God yes...” she exclaimed, trying to keep her ass pressed into the mattress while a shudder travelled down her core. She knew the buzzer was about to go, her back tingled and her clit throbbed. Her knees wanted to spread further. He reached down to stroke himself for a moment; high on desire. She would have taken over but sparks were collecting at the corners of her eyes.

“Come honey,” he cooed, “Come for me.”

“I want to…make me come,” she replied, “Make me…oh!” The alarm sounded and she let go; hips bucked against his hand as he tamed the hurricane. Moans of pleasure were stifled with her shoulder. She came back down to earth. He kissed her and rubbed his cock with her arousal. Her pants lowered further to give him room to enter. Lips parted, muscles twitched. He filled her up so well; as full as she could be.

“You feel amazing,” he exhaled. She hummed and her eyes closed heavily. He thrusted gently and she joined his rhythm. They drank each other up. Another wave was ready to crash. So many nights she had wanted this exact moment; a simple fuck on a hotel bed. Being half-dressed was even more sensual than if she was naked. Their clothes bunched and bundled, she dug her nails into his hips coaxing him to go faster. He gave a warning.

“I’m so close. I don’t want to…”

“It’s okay. Do it…god do it…”

That was all he needed to hear. He buried himself to the hilt, fucking her hard and deep. She held on as long as she could while he cried out and released. A final tremor sent her over the edge and she tumbled into a screaming orgasm. Her voice sounded different in her ears after hitting that plateau of pleasure.

Mulder smoothed her hair and traced a sweet caress along her cheek while they caught their breath. Slowly, he shifted to her side, soft and spent. She adjusted her pants and lay her head on his chest, arms tucked in close. He embraced her; always the safety net, the light in the dark, the hand to hold. Scully felt a deep vibration against her ear as he said something to the top of her head. She lifted slightly.

“What did you say?” a weary voice asked. He swallowed then said after a beat,

“I said…god, I love you.”

“Mulder…” She felt her cheeks go hot and her heart beat faster

“Just wanted you to know,” he said with a stroke of her freckled shoulder. She untucked an arm and draped it across him, burying her head further in his chest, pulling him closer. With a content exhale she replied,

“And I love you.”

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Tabula Rasa

Tabula Rasa has 8 stories at Gossamer, but there are even more X-Files fics at AO3 and her website. She writes Mulder and Scully in a very lovely way. I've recced 3 of my favorites of her fics here before: Bird in Snow, Fall: East on M St, and Skuamorph. Big thanks to Tabula Rasa for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

I'm always extremely pleasantly surprised to get kudos (or, very rarely, a comment) on my old fic, but I'm always happy to see it! I did post them all (I think) to AO3. I'm not surprised people are still reading fic, though. It's an iconic show and now with streaming, it's really easy to watch older shows and natural to want fic about them!

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

XF was my first fandom, definitely my first online fandom, and so it will always have a special place in my heart. Also... I had a great time! I stumbled upon and joined the Scullyfic email list by accident, but it was the best thing I could have done. I learned a lot about how to be a writer and how to be in fandom, and those lessons are still important to me. Foundational. Also, in terms of modern fandom drama, XF was more low-key on the drama (although it didn't seem like it at the time!). But I learned something that's always served me well: find like-minded people, and hang out with them. Don't worry about the rest.

Also... you can't control the show, but you kind of can control the canon.

Because of Scully, I ended up taking a forensic anthropology class in university-- and now I have a Master's in a forensic science! Part of the Scully Effect, and proud of it!

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Definitely mostly email list! I never really got the hang of message boards. Posting fic was exhausting, and tbh I never figured out how to work Ephemeral. I checked it every day, though! I loved, after a new episode, everyone sending in their thoughts and reading everyone's experiences together. Fandom was a lot more work back then, tbh!

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

That fic can be just as good, or better, than traditionally published works. There are works of XF fic that have stuck with me for years now, far more than some books I've read. That fan writers can know the characters better than the show writers. The fandom in general was really smart, and mostly more adult than me (I joined fandom when I went away to college, so I always felt at the younger end of the scale. That was good though!).

Also, my first time reading and writing porn. Not gonna lie, I was shocked the first time I accidentally read smut. But I adjusted fast. lol

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I was still a kid (now we would say preteen) when the show premiered- I think in middle school. But I was already into ghosts, aliens, monsters, solving mysteries, and I'd already imprinted on the dynamic thanks to Square One (really)! I was also just old enough to start developing celebrity crushes. Hilariously, I did not twig to the fact that I'm bisexual the entire time I was in XF fandom, despite having enormous crushes on BOTH Mulder and Scully. Ahhhh!

Also, my whole family was into the show, but I was definitely the one with the hyperfixation. I used to take notes and record the episodes as I watched. It just had the right stuff and hit at the right time. And I've always been obsessive.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

As a kid I also really liked Star Trek, and someone had given my dad a book about the history of Star Trek, which I read. This included mentions of fandom and fanfic. As soon as I had a private-- and perhaps more importantly fast-- internet connection (in college), I went looking for XF fanfic, and that was that. Hooked immediately. Also I shipped them A LOT so that's what I went looking for.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I tend to not go back to a fandom once I have a new fandom, so I wouldn't say I'm in it. I did hang around the edges for the revival, of course, because I wanted to experience that with the same people, but since the revival was mostly not that great (with a few exceptions), I didn't get pulled back into it. But I still think of the people I knew in the fandom a lot, and always hope they're doing well.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I've never left fandom, and I've been in a BUNCH: Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Bandom, Supernatural, now CQL/The Untamed and other Chinese-media fandoms, with many smaller ones in between or on the side. I feel like at their core fandoms tend to be similar, although where you host the fandom makes a big difference: Livejournal, tumblr, twitter. I think that because fandoms now tend to be bigger and more diverse (which is good) there tends to be more wank (which is bad). In some of them I was close to a group of people, some of them not. Honestly the best thing is when someone you know from an old fandom is in your new fandom. It's so much fun. I have really good friends thanks to fandom, and I've had them for YEARS. Like. 15 years.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

I tend to focus more on ships than characters, but some of my all-time favs: Scully, Hermione, Sirius Black, Castiel, Lan Wangji, Xie Lian. That's just fandom-oriented ones, otherwise we'd be here all day. :D

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I don't often rewatch episodes any more, although if I come across an ep on tv I might. I definitely still think about them though! For example, I'm a teacher now, and just a couple weeks ago one of my colleagues mentioned he'd heard the students saying they shipped two of their classmates, and he was like "Ship? I don't get it" and I was like "HOO BOY, do I have a story for you!" And I explained how shipping came from XF fandom, and why. That was fun. I definitely still think about Mulder and Scully too-- I mean, they're cultural touchstones, so they do come up sometimes in greater pop culture. Also, I was in Hannibal fandom for a while, and Gillian Anderson is still The Best.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I haven't read XF fic in years, even the ones I remember as being really significant/important to me. I still have my all-time favs saved on an external HD though! Fic in another fandom- every day lol.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Blinded by White Light by DashaK has stuck with me. Mr. and Mrs. Smith and the Ruby-Throated Warbler by I forget I'm so sorry -- that's lasted as my ideal post-canon MSR and as an interesting and different way to tell a story.  [Lilydale note: It’s by rah.] I was always thrilled to see fic by Brandon, JET, MaybeAmanda, Syntax6... and, frankly, everyone on the Scullyfic/ Emuse list. So many talented people in that fandom!

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Things Outside, which is the only thing I've ever written based on a dream, and I'm really satisfied with it. It was hard to write but so much fun to revel in the weirdness. I always kind of wanted to write more because I know a lot more about the situation, but otoh, I like the open, ambiguous ending (usually I am very HEA).

In other fandoms, King & Country in bandom (MCR) and in Supernatural I'm very proud of Hope and Clay. I struggle to write casefics even though I love to read them, but that one really worked out.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I don't think I'll ever write something new. There is an old fic that may be done but it was smut so I was too shy to post it at the time. In theory if I find it and it's decent, I could post it!

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I do! I write fic very slowly, but I do write still! I have a million ideas for stories, but I'm so slow at the actual writing part.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I usually take a jumping-off point from canon, or of course, something I need to fix or expand on. Or sometimes I start telling myself a story as I fall asleep and the idea grabs me long enough I can manage to write it.

What's the story behind your pen name?

I was getting into fandom and realized people didn't use their real names. I flipped through my history book looking for inspiration, and decided tabula rasa was a great name for a writer. I tend to add an X because it's rare to get "tabularasa" as a username, and the X is indeed for X-Files (so I'm something like tabulaxrasa most places). I usually go by Tabula Rasa or Tab, though. And I still use it because 1) it IS a great name for a writer; and 2) it's not fandom-specific so I can keep it in every fandom.

I identify with it so much I have answered to this name in class (oops). I have a "Tab" t-shirt (as in the soda, but I have worn it to Comic-Con for ease of ID-- better than a nametag!). And my mom got me a necklace with a "tab" typewriter key as a charm, which I adore. Yes, I have accidental merch of myself.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

As you can tell from the above, my family knows (my family being my parents and sister). They are supportive! I think my mom read a couple stories? But obviously she has to know the fandom to get it... I got my sister into fic, and we even wrote a couple fics together (in Gundam Wing). She's a lot more selective about fandoms, but she's joined fandoms on her own, too. She's just not in one constantly, like me. :p

I tend not to tell not-online friends unless I have felt them out and know they're super fannish, or they bring it up first.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Most of my old fic is now on AO3 and I hang out on twitter a lot, @tabula_x_rasa

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

I'm really glad people are still in this fandom! It will always be so important to me. Thank you Lilydale, for this nostalgia trip!

(Posted by Lilydale on March 30, 2021)

[scullysflannel]

Your XF analysis is always thought provoking and forces me to consider things I might have missed. In that vein, tell me some of your favorite underrated moments from the show and why they're important to you.

Oh, love this! Let’s go.

season 1: At the risk of endorsing some very catchphrase-y writing, I really like the underlying idea behind the exchange “You’re entitled to the truth”/ “I can’t afford the truth” in “Fallen Angel.” It gets at something The X-Files understands better in season 1 than it does in any other season, which is that Mulder and Scully are in a position of privilege. Not everyone can fight for these big undefined ideals. If this woman speaks up against the military, she’ll lose her husband’s pension. I like that the early episodes in particular are so aware of the power imbalance that exists not only between the government and the people Mulder and Scully are fighting for, but also between Mulder and Scully and the people they’re fighting for. Everyone in season 1 is always clamming up for their own good, and the show respects that. I also like that in early season 1 in particular, Scully is practical in a way that makes her the voice of those people. Mulder is all about the big ideals, but Scully is focused on the problem at hand. It’s an interesting dynamic that the show mostly loses after that until Doggett (poster child for staying focused on the problem at hand) shows up. When we talk about how Mulder changes Scully, we always focus on how he opens her up to belief, but the first and quickest way he changes her is by making her think big about the truth.

season 2: I’ve already written about both of these, but "To know that you're all right” in “Little Green Men” is so vulnerable and romantic in a noir kind of way. I love Scully telling Mulder he’s worth it as a friend. And Scully opening the Great Unknown exhibit in “Humbug” and triggering an exit door sums up the romance of the whole show. The puzzle box will always be unsatisfying, but the outside world is what’s worth wondering at.

season 3: Mulder and Scully and Skinner in that off-the-map diner in “Paper Clip.” First of all, that scene has unparalleled “agents on the run from the law” vibes, which should have been at least half the show, and it’s important that Skinner makes clear where his loyalties lie (they should have trusted him flat out after that). But the thing I love most about that scene is Mulder letting Scully choose what to do with the tape. It’s one of the few times the show feels like it’s actually building on what Mulder learned in “One Breath,” because he isn’t just putting aside his big ideals for the sake of someone he cares about; he’s putting them aside for the sake of someone Scully cares about. That’s growth! The fact that he gives Scully complete control in that moment, because she has the most on the line, is selfless of him, and it shows a lot of respect for her. It’s nice that Mulder can see Samantha in someone else’s sister in a productive way—in a way that makes him realize he’s not the center of this story.

season 4: I love Mulder asking Scully in “Small Potatoes” who she’d be if she could be someone else for a day and Scully saying “Hopefully myself.” It’s not a lack of imagination; it’s that she knows there’s absolutely nothing bigger to imagine than being fully who she is. She’s dying, and what she wants is to make the most of the life she already has. And then I love Mulder’s response because it’s cute when he’s fake deep and real deep at once: “Ultimately, maybe it's other people's reactions to us that make us who we are.” On a sort of meta, capital-P Platonic level, this gets at the idea that the capital-T Truth is always going to be unknowable, and that the truth that matters is interpersonal. We experience ourselves through other people. While Scully is trying to be more honestly herself, Mulder is considering how he’s been redefined by Scully. 

season 5: The way Scully says "Mulder?" after he almost shoots her in “Kitsunegari” is so little and desperate. 

season 6: “Tithonus” in general does not get enough appreciation, but especially Scully’s long conversation with Fellig in his apartment. “Love lasts 75 years if you’re lucky. You don’t want to be around when it’s gone” is HAUNTING. Usually the way The X-Files wonders at the world feels so endless (“How can you have too much life? There’s too much to learn, to experience”), and I think the way “Tithonus” pushes back against that is really interesting and sad without betraying the show’s optimism at all. It’s just another angle on it. It makes death the great unknown.

season 7: Mulder flirt-whispering “There’s one detail that does” in “Theef” is obscene.

season 8: Season 8 Scully in general is underrated; she’d rather become Mulder than lose his voice in her ear, and it exposes how much she’d already opened up to belief but didn’t want to admit it, because she and Mulder couldn’t let go of that little dance they do. She also knows that thinking like Mulder is the best way to get him back. But it’s still a strain on her. For the sake of narrowing it down a moment, I like that Doggett correctly points out in “Patience” that Scully is trying too hard to be Mulder and then builds her up by telling her she’s doing good cop work. He’s a good egg.

I know there are more seasons, but I think we rated all those moments pretty accurately.

[mldrgrl]

1/2: TY for spoiling us with extra chapters! Sometimes fandom can feel mean-spirited when an author sort of holds a story hostage or teases endlessly, until they receive a certain amount of attention. Which I try to understand since it’s all free! And I know it’s hard work. And I know so many talented writers don’t always get feedback they deserve. But, still, it feels icky sometimes. With you, I’m a huge fan but also recent fan working my way through every single one of ur stories

2/2: & I don’t know if you’ve done this before, but you spoiling us like this has added an additional layer of enjoyment. Since FF authors aren’t supposed to financially profit, we can only show you our delight in you & your work, but your response to us feels like you're also delighting in us as your readers/fans & it's sweet to observe this immediate back and forth. Doesn’t feel icky. Makes me more grateful as I’m reading. Although. If I could hack your computer, I absolutely would! haha!

:D first of all, the thought of anyone trying to hack my computer for fanfic made me laugh.  Secondly, I personally can’t say I’ve experienced anyone withholding updates, but I’m a terrible person when it comes to WiPs and been around too long and seen too many that don’t get finished to start them.  Plus, again for me personally, there’s so much content out there that I have a tendency to forget what I’ve read (and even forget what I’ve even written in some cases) so I have to have something completely fresh to enjoy it fully.

That being said, it’s also my personal policy that I will never actually post a WiP.  Primarily because I do a lot of editing while I write and will often go back and revise prior chapters or shift things around and so until I write The End on it, it’s not ready for consumption.  However, I do STILL make edits and revisions while I post a longer work.  It’s just that I’m impatient at that point to be able to share it and give it over to everyone so they can shove it into their eyeballs.  And I know that I love to have something to look forward to on a regular basis.  It’s almost like watching a mini-series and getting episodes dropped daily instead of weekly, or monthly.

I had a tremendous amount of fun writing this piece and it’s very fun to interact or answer questions about content (I just don’t want to drop any spoilers).  I love that people really like this one because I think I can safely say that this might be my favorite thing I’ve worked on.

I understand about talented writers not getting kudos.  The icky part for me, is if someone is writing exclusively for praise.  I wrote XF fanfic when I was in high school while the show was first airing and (it’s terrible, for sure) and that was back in the day when it was passed around on ftp shares and you’d get this great monthly fic newsletter and then it would just disappear into the ether and there was little to no interaction with anybody.  But, it felt collaborative all the while because I had a whole newsletter of like 20 other fics to read and enjoy and it was like we were all part of the same club that loved putting our own spin on the character’s journeys.  I still feel that way today because I am an introvert by nature and fanfic is really the only way I can join in with the party.  Otherwise I’m just in the corner watching all the gifs and discourse go by.  And, you know what, that’s totally fine too!  When I’m in my creative slumps, I am more than happy to see the cool edits and artwork and all that jazz.

This story has gotten a lot of traction, and I have the niche fanbase for the Hanella series, but trust me, you can go back to the first things I was sharing here and the notes are next to nothing.  It never really meant much to me in the first place though - I entered tumblr literally writing stories for 3 years prior to that and only sharing them with 2 friends that wanted to read them because they were fans - and they’re not even on tumblr.  

All of this is just to say, as long as I have the inspiration, I would still be writing for even just one person.  And unless they’re @sunflowerseedsandscience who I needed to review some things before I continued, they’re not getting the whole story unless they hack into my computer ;)

[discordantwords]

@khorazir asked: 1, 18, 23, ...

Thanks for the ask!

1. Tell us about your current project(s)  –   what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

Funny you should ask, @khorazir, since my current project is your FTH fic! :)

Without giving too much away, the fic has Sherlock and John forced to spend the night in the London Aquarium while waiting for a suspect. Awkward silences! Conversations! Uncomfortable truths! And angst, though slightly less angst than might be expected given the setting. There's a funny-ish scene that I've had in my head since the initial planning, and I'm really looking forward to writing it down.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

Actually, yes! I make small changes to my outlines all the time as I'm writing, but there are three instances where I really deviated from what I'd first intended:

In my original outline for Borrowed Ghosts, Arthur Bell was a lot more menacing than sad-- much more of a villain character. And I was leaning a little too heavily on the S4 imagery, so John was going to wind up struggling with Bell and falling into a well on the farm property. Sherlock would find him there, and they were then going to spend the night huddling for warmth in the farmhouse. But none of that really felt right, and once I put John in the ramshackle, crumbling farmhouse instead, all of the parallels about how he'd let his own life collapse around him while he let himself fester with rage and anger and misplaced blame just sort of came together. I can't imagine the story any other way at this point.

(Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea was originally intended to switch perspectives between Sherlock, John, and Mycroft throughout the story. I wrote a few draft chapters before deciding that it didn't really work, and that the story was much stronger when restricted to just Sherlock's perspective. There was also a plotline involving Molly and the Borgia pearl that I cut because it seemed too lighthearted. I posted some of the outtakes to AO3 in my Little Contributions collection (chapters 5-10).

And Out There, my Sherlock/X-Files fusion and the longest thing I've ever written by far, was actually supposed to be even longer. The story is structured where each chapter is an "episode" and the place where the fic ends is only the midpoint of my original outline. I realized pretty early on in drafting that there was just no way I was ever going to reach the end, and reworked the story to wrap up with John's abduction and return.

There's a sequel that lives in my head that incorporates a lot of the elements of my original outline. I've never actually typed this all out before, but here's a brief hint of some of the planned events:

John and Sherlock are sharing an apartment (which the FBI is aware of), and secretly in a relationship (which the FBI is decidedly not aware of). Things are good for a while, until they are assigned to a case involving the disappearance of two children. The case seems tailor-made for Sherlock, with details incredibly similar to the night of his brother's disappearance. He's forced to confront his unreliable memories, and it shakes his faith in what he's believed for so long. This puts him at odds with John, who is still reeling from his disappearance and is determined to uncover what was done to him. In the midst of their suddenly unstable partnership, we roll into a mashup of HLV/Bad Blood, where Sherlock is accused of murdering a news baron he believes to be a vampire. After that, Irene, Sherlock's first partner on the X-Files, makes an unexpected return, and John is j-e-a-l-o-u-s. There's an Abominable Bride/Triangle mashup where Sherlock vanishes in the Bermuda Triangle looking for a ship where the crew was rumored to have been the victim of a murderous bride. Then we rush into Gethsemane/Reichenbach, with faked deaths and uncertain alliances, and FINALLY it would end on a reimagining of the events of the first XF movie and a reaffirmation of both the relationship and partnership.

I really, really hope to have the chance to write that all down one day. I think it could be a lot of fun.

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

A crackfic taken entirely seriously-- a fusion with Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Essentially, this would be an excuse to write Sherlock and Moriarty locked in battle and tumbling off of a cliff over a chocolate waterfall.

Writer Asks!

[louehvolution]

As always - context.

Niall might have continued on to say they are all doing nothing - but publicly that's not true. Both him and Liam are visible and present as artists right now, within the limitations of the situation. They have had some interviews and performances, and shown and talked about how they are working on new music. Liam has a new song out and mentioned he is recording something for BBC and has another project he is working on; and Niall coincidentally just announced a new single shortly after the livestream.

Meanwhile Louis was made to disappear after his two days of promo in the US and the two weeks of fan events in the UK. The lead single from his album didn’t even get sent to radio. No investment has been made to get his songs on Spotify playlists, or any exposure outside the fandom in any form.

To everyone who even thinks of Louis, he is, in fact, doing nothing, bunkered down with his girlfriend, who confirmed she is doing nothing - such a change of pace from her usual...

And there are complications to Louis' image to take into account as well.

Remember that article that said if he hadn’t been called to be a judge on XF he would have been twiddling his thumbs? (Nevermind the fact he had an album ready for spring and plans to tour in the second half of 2018.)

He has been consistently portrayed as someone lazy and indifferent to his music career, someone who got lucky but has no artistic merit or nature; and his personality reduced to smoking and drinking, so much that even some of his own fans will use those to sum him up.

And his very thoughtful and kind friends with a lot of influence have just confirmed it for the fandom at large and the media to report on it.

It's not the same Niall himself joking about drinking and being hungover. And it's not the same teasing your friends in private than mocking someone who isn’t even present, and therefore cannot counter it or ‘banter’ back, in a public livestream.

They have all been in the industry for ten years. Liam has complained about how the media pick up on everything. Even expressed his supposed frustration when he talked about how he and Louis didn't get along at first a while back, and the media blew it up. Yet he continues talking about Louis. There is at this moment a round of press about Louis telling Liam off about disclosing too much about the supposed reunion.

In 2018 he made a talking point in his promo of something as personal and private as how Louis was dealing with his grief...

And every time when Louis does not have access to a platform of his own. And no team to protect him.

Louis has not talked about anyone’s personal struggles or private affairs; he doesn’t tell stories about others and only speaks for himself. When he’s mentioned Niall and Liam off hand it’s been ‘Niall likes his golf’ and ‘Liam is into working out’ and how many times did he praise Niall’s music, and talk about his songwriting partnership with Liam in 1D?

It just comes to a point where it goes beyond insensitive and thoughtless. Louis deserves the same respect and appreciation he has shown them.

But then, it's always just a joke. when it comes to Louis, isn't it? It's never that deep; nothing ever has consequences; nothing means anything.

Louis has both shown and talked about the hard work he puts into his career, his interest in learning new things, and growing as an artist, he has talked about practicing guitar, and we know he even rehearsed his songs in the shower. And by his own admission he’s always writing. Steve praised his work ethic, and defined him as a creative talent too.

But no, he’s only smoking and drinking beers.

And maybe if he is actually doing nothing but that right now, it's probably not something to be joking about? Especially when you’re not joking with him...

[syntax6]

question for you: why do authors take down the original fic when they publish a story based off of it? legal reasons? the publisher's preference that another copy doesn't exist, even with different characters? I've always wondered!

Fanfic is more popular than ever, but it remains in a gray area, legally speaking. Mulder and Scully et al are the intellectual property of FOX and 1013, and we’re all using them without permission. Big companies don’t usually go after fans for creating derivative works for several reasons:

1. Most fans don’t have enough money to make it worth their while.

2. Fanworks can actually increase appetite for the original product. (Free advertising!)

3. Depending on the exact nature of the case, the corporation might lose.

4. It looks bad to be seen prosecuting your fans.

But, make no mistake, the main reason is #1. It’s just not financially worth it to go after individual fans. Or even fans en mass. We’re not rich. You know who is rich, though? My publisher. When my publisher had me write an essay on XF fanfic for the publication of my debut novel, they used a promo shot of DD and GA. You know, the kind we use in fandom ALL THE TIME for manipulations and cover art, etc. Well, we got hit with threats of a massive lawsuit from the photographer. Me, my publisher, the website. He wanted many thousands of dollars from all of us.

So, theoretically, FOX could do the same thing. They could claim that I’m somehow profiting from my fanfic and sue my publisher for a zillion bucks. Even if they lost, even if nothing ever came of it, it would create a hassle for my publisher’s lawyers to have to deal with. The next thing you know, I’m out on my rear, having been replaced with a writer who does not come with legal risks. For many authors trying to go pro, the mere possibility of this happening is enough for them to try to scrub their fanfic from the earth.

Hope this helps! :)

[lauramkaye]

The Milestones You Didn’t See Coming

So someone commented a really early story of mine today and it made me go back to try to find when I posted it. Thanks to the fact that my first posts were to alt.tv.xfiles.creative and were automatically archived by Gossamer, I was able to pin down the date of the first fic I ever posted.

Wednesday, December 8, 1999.

I have been writing and posting fanfic for more than more than 20 years. My first story is as old now as I was when I wrote it.

In my time in fandom I’ve hopped around, from X-Files to Sentinel to Due South to pop slash to MCU with so many shorter stops along the way and so many other fandoms I loved even when I didn’t write for them. I was accidentally a BNF for about five minutes, mostly because my fic was hosted on the same website as a couple of actual, much more important BNFs. I wrote stories I posted, started stories I never posted, and in one instance started posting a WIP that I eventually took down because I knew I was never going to finish it and I felt bad about leaving it incomplete to taunt people. (If you ever see this, Pat, I’m really sorry I never finished it. I know you liked it and your encouragement and enthusiasm for the project meant so much to me.)  

I made friends. So many dear, dear friends that I treasure to this day, even the ones that I’ve fallen out of touch with over the years. When I got married, one of my bridesmaids was my sister, one was my best friend since infancy, and the other two I met through fandom. Almost all of the close friends that I made in adulthood, I first met through fandom, including the one who introduced me to my spouse.

I was not prolific for all of those years, but even when I went for a while without writing anything new, I was still reading fic and engaging in fannish circles to some degree. In those years, I finally fulfilled a lifelong dream and wrote a novel. When I started, my output was purely fluffy romantic G-rated slice-of-life stories of the type that in the XF fandom of the 90s we called "Vignettes." I loved (and still love) long, meaty, plotty novel-length stories that would last me a long time, and I wanted to write that way, but never thought I could. But time and amazing mentoring from more established fans (shoutouts especially to @cesperanza, the writer that baby writer me wanted to be when I grew up, who was largely responsible for teaching me how to actually edit in a beta and not just proofread) and amazing writing and editing partners have helped me to not only become more prolific but to keep growing as a writer. Writing fanfic is a source of deep creative joy for me, and engaging with slash fandom was one way that I, who grew up in a deeply conservative religious southern family and didn’t even meet an out gay person until college, started the journey to realizing that I was myself bi and not straight like I’d always assumed. (Let me tell you, THAT realization made so much of my life make so much more sense in hindsight.)

Basically what I’m saying is that fanfic has made my life richer in so many ways, and I want to encourage anyone who might be worried that maybe their work isn’t good enough, or that nobody else will like what they like, or that maybe they should have outgrown their hobby by now, or that they’re wasting their time and should be writing “real” (ie, sold for money) stories: hang in there. Things that give you joy don’t have to make money to be valid uses of your time. You aren’t too old to still be reading and writing fanfic.

Here’s the the next 20 years.

[olderthannetfic]

My first proper fandom! I got into it in 1994, just after the Christmas hiatus in first season. I was 13 and deeply earnest.

(Yes, this means I had a bunch of meta fights on alt.tv.x-files. Some things never change!)

I discovered the concept of fic and a lot of very��dirty Mulder/Scully stories via usenet. Somewhere in there, I discovered slash, though it was such a non-event that I honestly can’t remember it. Discovering fic, however, was like the heavens opened and a lightning bolt hit me in the head.

(Ironically, this is the exact opposite of how these two experiences are described in most fandom history stuff.)

The X-Files was like Highlander: plenty of geeks liked it right away, but it took the introduction of a slashable side character to make the m/m part of the fandom explode. That character was Ratboy. Now that many years and innovations in spellcheck have passed, I can call him by his actual name, Krycek.

(No, really, we called him “ratboy” on usenet because we couldn’t spell for shit.)

Escapade had X-Files in the program every year from 1995 to 2003 and only once thereafter. This was a huge fandom in its day but its m/m ships lack the staying power of some of the other big slash fandoms of the 90s. If I had to guess why, I’d say that the enduring X-Files fandom is more interested in Scully than in Krycek or the other possible m/m ships for Mulder.

For context, AO3, bastion of oldschool slash, has 8,251 works for Mulder/Scully, but only 1,869 for Mulder/Krycek.

The X-Files holds a unique place in fandom history:

First, it coined the term ‘shipping’.

Second, it started its own big fanfic archive prior to the founding of Fanfiction.net. Gossamer is still up today, giving us a level of access to 90s fics that isn’t found in almost any other fandom. (Though I hear a lot of the slash fic was in more private places?) Many fandoms produce reams of gen casefic at their height, only for it to completely disappear because it hasn’t attracted the same desire to preserve as often-attacked slash fic has. Not so for The X-Files!

I can tell you that babby’s first fanfic (well, that I remember) was:

Mason - Willis, Cordelia & Company

Rated PG | 68K | Category X | Archived 95-06-15 Spoilers: None Keywords: None. Summary: Mulder and Scully are assigned to protect a four year-old who has special powers.

That “K” doesn’t mean it’s 68,000 words. No, in ye olden tiems, this meant it was 68 kilobytes. The story is actually only about 11k words, and you can still read it today.

Let’s hear it for fandom archivists!

The big question for slash fans was always whether to take a turn in the het side of things or to find a guy to pair Mulder up with.

Krycek was the obvious choice, whether written as his canon villainous self or with more of the woobie vibe he had while pretending to be good. As the series progressed, there started to be more Mulder/Skinner shippers. That ship was one of the first places in fandom I remember seeing a lot of enemas and fisting as well as daddy kink and attempts at realistic BDSM.

Escapade panels included:

1995 - no description

1996 - To Slash or Not To Slash (With a juicy M/F partnership on screen, is slash a cop out?)

1997 - Find Mulder a Mate (Fox Mulder. Pouter extraordinaire. Wears red Speedos and trusts -- almost -- no one. LONELY. Where to find him a mate? In his beloved yet female partner? In his acerbic yet balding boss? In his one-armed enemy? In the world of crossovers? YOU decide.)

1998 - The Men (and Woman) in Mulder's Life (Can he ever truly love? Or does he have too much on his mind to even consider dating anyone?)

1999 - Mulder: Character or Caricature? (Sixth season finds The X-Files, itself, mocking Mulder's strange, if endearing habits. So, what does that say about him? Has overexposure sent a true original into the dreaded realms of media caricature, or is there still hope for him? )

2000 - Alex Krycek: Psycho Extraordinaire, or Simply Misunderstood?

2001 - Who Does Chris Carter Think This Krycek Person Is, Anyhow? (This is a time when we look at the show and think, "Wait. Chris Carter doesn't understand the concept of 'canon'," What's up, Chris? Even ignoring the (obvious) slash elements, you're wasting a valuable character here.)

2002 - XF: History Of (Or why Chris Carter should be shot in the head. Sorting out the show's scattered and contradictory history, both of human/alien relations and of characters like Krycek, Skinner, the Mulders, and the Spenders. Starting point: best theories from canon.)

2003 - Is the truth still out there? (Is XF fandom 'really' dead? Has Scully done the autopsy? Or did CC mess up canon so badly that there is nothing left for us to work with (except some great characters, some of whom might be dead)?)

2016 - Reopening the X-Files. We have more canon! Do we care? And what have we seen so far? Discuss the new season and its promises and pitfalls.

X-Files on Fanlore

X-Files on AO3

X-Files on FFN

The Gossamer Archive

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Michelle Kiefer

Michelle has 55 stories at Gossamer. If you haven’t read them, what are you waiting for?! She has great takes on Mulder and Scully. I’ve recced some of my favorites of her fics here before, including Christmas in California, Making Other Plans, and Six Inch Valley. Big thanks to Michelle for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

I’m not sure anyone is still reading my stories.  I haven’t migrated my X-Files ones to AO3. I don’t think Gossamer provides any viewing statistics. I’d be very happy to hear that people still like my work.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

My X-Files fandom experience was amazing.  I remember that sense of excitement and immediacy.  It was thrilling to write stories (and read those of other authors, of course) in an active fandom for a show that was on the air.  It was truly my first experience in an online world--a parallel world to my real life existence.  I learned how to keep a foot in each world.  As I recall, it was very hard to keep my focus in my “meat” world, when the online one was so fast moving and thrilling.  But I did get some balance in my life as time went on.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Message boards and mailing lists were my experience.  They were primitive compared to the pretty screens now.  I forged some amazing friendships, some of them with people I discovered lived relatively near me.  All I wanted to do was discuss episodes and fic.  The flame wars were a little intimidating, but also amusing if you didn’t get swept up.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

I was very passionate about the fandom--as I said, there were times when my online life seemed to overpower my real life experiences.  I learned to manage that, and think I’m all the better for that.  And I found some amazing friendships that are active and thriving today.  I learned a lot about writing with XF fanfic.  The level of quality was stunning.  A decent percentage of fic were as good or better than traditional published fiction.  But there were so many writers!  I wanted to make an impact on the fanfiction world, but that meant taking my writing very seriously and learning to develop a story, pace that story, make it compelling and believable.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I had a couple of coworkers that talked about the show all the time.  I was curious, so I watched an episode.  I believe it was the cannibal town one.  I thought David Duchovny was odd looking and wasn’t terribly impressed.  But I tried another episode - Wetwired, which blew me away with the morgue scene when Mulder thinks he’s going to identify Scully’s body.  Ah...I thought, now, I see what everyone is talking about!  And from then I was hooked.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

As I watched, I wanted more.  I was fairly new to the internet (frankly, the internet was new to almost everyone)  I found episode reviews, and some of them were fantastic.  Some mentioned fanfiction.  I was unaware of such a thing, though to be honest, since childhood, I’d been spinning stories in my head about characters on TV shows.  I found some fanfic. The first couple of stories were not great (at least one was horrible) but then I found some that were very good.  Probably a bit soap-operaish, but still readable.  And then I became voracious as I plowed through the mass of stories looking for the good stuff.  And boy was there good stuff.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I’m not estranged from it, but I don’t spend much time with it after all these years.  I’ve found fanfic in some other shows that I like and only occasionally read old XF stories.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I’ve not been as involved with any other fandoms, i.e. following commentary on the show.  I tend to dive into TV shows well after their heyday, so I’m always late to the party. I do read fanfic from other shows, and have actually written fanfic for other shows, but I need a really good idea to write.  None of the other fandoms for my other shows are as busy and active as XF, even ones currently in production.  And none of them have as much fanfic and certainly not the level of brilliance that we had in XF.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

I tend to go for interesting partnerships, very much in the XF fashion.  And a flawed hero is always a plus!  The partnerships don’t necessarily have to be romantic---in fact I find I prefer those that are not.  Really, Mulder and Scully were the only ones I felt deeply as a pairing, probably due to the chemistry between the actors. But the partnerships have to be well-balanced and realistic.  I loved the characters on Sleepy Hollow.  The two main characters were very much in the mold of Mulder/Scully.

My newest passion is British detective shows and I’ve completely fallen for the “Morse-verse” shows, Inspector Morse, Inspector Lewis and Endeavour.  Less of an XF feel, but compelling characters with interesting backstories.  Other favorite partnerships in the British detective genre are on Inspector Lynley and Broadchurch.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

A bit less now, though I’m still involved with a wonderful group of ladies who love the X-Files.  When we get together for a yearly weekend, we binge episodes and eat impressive amounts of junk food.  XF isn’t on network TV these days, but if it was, I’d probably watch it.

A couple of years ago, I listened to Kumail Nanjiani’s XF podcast on my long commute.  I loved the commentary and interviews so much that I did watch some old episodes.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I don’t read much XF fic.  I’m currently reading in some other fandoms, but it’s harder to find good stories--the ones I follow aren’t very active these days and the quality just isn’t what XF was.  We were so lucky.  We had maybe 20 incredible top authors at any one time, then maybe another tier of 50 to 100  good to maybe great writers.  And with new episodes, there was so much inspiration. We were so spoiled.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Everything from Syntax6, MaybeAmanda, Kel.  A special story for me was “Strangers and the Strange Dead” by Kipler because I remember reading that very early in the morning in my unheated basement in the winter because that was the only time I could use our single computer without others in the family complaining.  I remember actually gasping at the big reveal in the story.  I can even remember the story’s opening line!

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I was just learning how to write fiction when I was involved in XF, so I’m not sure my best work is there, though the bulk of my stories are there.  I liked some of the work I did with others.  I wrote Bone of Contention and Out of the Everywhere with Kel and I think that those stories got the best aspects of both of our styles.  For stories I wrote myself, I think they’re not bad, but they are rather short and it’s always easier to maintain a theme and style for a short story.  I liked Black Cherry Velvet.  I’m writing some Inspector Lewis stories that I think are pretty good--they benefit from the years of experience that I was gaining through XF.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

Never say never, but I probably won’t write more XF.  I used to burn with it, but I think that got burned out a bit.  Still, I have such wonderful memories of the whole period.  It might be worth looking at again.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

As I mentioned, I am currently playing in the Inspector Lewis world.  It’s sad--it’s a very small and not terribly active fandom.  Sad that my best work is in an inactive fandom where I’m lucky if 20 or 30 people are reading them.  It doesn’t help that I don’t write the most popular pairing.  

But I’m really enjoying it.  I occasionally write for Man From Uncle, which really shows my age, as that was a childhood obsession.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

With XF, it was always a take on an episode--did I get a tiny idea that I wanted to develop, or was I not thrilled with the way something went on the show.  Now,  it’s usually a “what if” kind of thing where I get inspired by a possible event and explore how that would play out, i.e.  “What if this character had a one night stand resulting in an unplanned pregnancy?”  What would happen?  How would he handle the consequences of this?  How would it change his life?

What's the story behind your pen name?

It’s literally my own name.  I SOOOO wish I’d used a pen name.  But I was naive and fandom was so new to me that it never occurred to me that a pen name would be better.  I always told myself that my real name sounded like something made up, like a TV newscaster name, and I hoped people assumed it was a pen name.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

My husband and my kids were the only ones who knew about it for many years. Then I went to a fandom/fic gathering for three days and had to explain to a few other family members and my work mates why I was going to Chicago on my own. It’s still mostly a need to know thing and they don’t really need to know.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

I’m on AO3 as msk.  And everything I wrote for XF is on Gossamer.

(Posted by Lilydale on February 2, 2021)

[leiascully]

@perplexistan replied to your post “This is not a complaint about feedback.  It’s just something I’ve been...”

I don't know! When I look on AO3, it seems like there are certain fans who tend to only read there and aren't on tumblr. I also know there's a big contingent of fans on Twitter and a few other places, but post-revival I think activity is just scattershot. There's a WIP I'm reading on AO3 from someone who is not on tumblr, to my knowledge, and they get tons of comments daily (again, from names I do not recognize on tumblr). But I'm not sure why your older stuff doesn't get new commentary on AO3--maybe because you ARE such a known quantity that people tend to overlook the need to give feedback? Just riffing here.

Interesting!  I can’t imagine getting tons of AO3 comments on an XF fic at this point. Visitor got some, but not a huge number in the scheme of things considering it was kind of one of the few longer fics I knew of being written during the pre-revival drought.  Maybe the people who read my fic on AO3 and the people who read my fic on tumblr are a perfect circle when it comes to AO3 and they’ve said what they needed to say in the tags?  I don’t know!  Like I said, this post is just to think about things, not to ask for feedback or to criticize anybody for not commenting.  

@ghostbustermelanieking replied to your post “This is not a complaint about feedback.  It’s just something I’ve been...”

I've noticed this too in writing for new fandoms. Part of it might be less of a reputation built in different fandoms, but it's a lot harder to get fic circulating on tumblr outside of the x files fandom. Meanwhile the same fic usually takes off on ao3. It's interesting, and a little weird to get used to lol

Yeah, I’ve been in and out of a lot of fandoms.  What I’m surprised by is that my new fandom, where I’m not well-known, comments a lot more than my twenty-year fandom.  Different dynamics, I think.  If given a preference, I’d kind of rather have an AO3 comment than a tumblr tag.  Although I adore tumblr tags in all their delicious literal-subtext glory and the things that people say in them are incredible, they’re also a lot harder to find and re-read if you’re lazy like I am.  Also, AO3 comments show up directly in my email inbox, which is nice - half the time the tumblr activity page fritzes out and won’t show me any tags and I have to go look at the post directly.  They’re also easier for other people to see and agree with or evaluate whether they want to read the story (although please, for the love of little green apples, be kind in your bookmark tags, because authors can read them).

@asokatanos replied to your post “This is not a complaint about feedback.  It’s just something I’ve been...”

I think it keeps changing! I joined the fandom in 2015 and it still felt like a good mix of tumblr-ao3 at the time. But now it feels very tumblr heavy - I think because the newer fans do actually skew a lot younger. Gen Z has entered the chat, as it were!

Hmm!  Welcome to Gen Z.  I hope you love angst.  

[sigritandtheelves]

So happy to hear there is more Simple in the works! I usually avoid AUs and I have really really enjoyed that story. The characterization is *chef kiss*

okay, I’ve been hanging onto this ask for a very long time, but fiiiiinally… here ya go. 💛

Simple

Chapter 10

Other Chapters:  One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine

PG-13 | 2.4k wds | pre-XF AU | MSR, Melissa/Samantha

A/N: I’ve been having anxiety dreams about writing this for MONTHS and just Could. Not. Put. Words. Down. There are not enough apologies in the world to make up for how long it’s been. I think my brain actually forgot how to write fiction. If you’re still reading, thank you for your enduring patience.

_+_

March, 1990 - Alexandria

Diana Fowley parked around the corner from his apartment and watched. His lights were on: he was awake. She adjusted her bra, swiped the pad of a finger under her eyeliner, tweaked the rear view mirror back into place. There was something wrong with Fox. He’d been more morose than usual, and she could only assume it was girl troubles. Maybe that was good, she thought. It was an opportunity to redirect his attentions. 

Someone up high wanted him interested in these files, which meant she needed him to forget about his long-distance doctor. She could make him forget, if that’s what they wanted from her. Diana didn’t particularly enjoy being told to use her body to advance some puppet-master’s designs, but she wasn’t above it, if that’s what it took to get what she wanted. She needed to dig down to the why of it all: the pieces of the puzzle the men above her wouldn’t let her see. Maybe together, they could fit some of those pieces together..

Besides, Fox Mulder was attractive–in a kicked-puppy kind of way–and they’d told her she was his type. 

Diana climbed out of the car and walked to his apartment. He pulled open the door after her second knock.

“Agent Fowley?” He looked surprised to see her in his rumpled jeans and fraying tee-shirt, looked like he hadn’t shaved in days.

“Hi, Fox… um, Agent Mulder.” She gave him a small smile and tightened her grip on the folder she was holding—her reason for coming. “Are you okay? Are you sick?”

“I’m alright. What’s that?” He raised his chin at the folder.

Diana raised it to show him the outside of the folder. “Can I come in? I’d like to show you something.”

—

She sat next to him on the couch, the hem of her dress riding up above the knee, file folder spread in her manicured hands. Her voice rumbled low as she drew the connections between three cases, where key pieces of evidence had gone missing in each. Fox scratched at the back of his neck, frowning in confusion.

“Diana, I don’t understand. I work in BSU. Is there something to profile here?”

“Not exactly.” Her brown eyes locked on his, searching. “But aren’t you curious? Don’t you want to know who removed this evidence? And why?”

He looked down at the file again, and she pushed it closer to him, scooting her own body closer as well until he could smell her lotion. “Two missing women who were later returned, and a man who turned up dead. Wildly different MOs, hundreds of miles apart. What am I not seeing?”

“Exactly. It’s what you’re not seeing. What’s not there to see anymore.”

“The missing evidence.”

“Each had unexplained scarring that corresponded to pieces of metal found under the skin, all of which have since disappeared.”

He sighed. It was interesting, but he didn’t know what to do with it. “Even serial killers don’t work in a range this wide. You think one person did this?”

Her eyes sharpened. “No. I don’t.” He was surprised to feel her hand on his knee. “Fox, something bigger is happening here. Maybe something at a national scale. Don’t you want to know what it is?”

He swallowed, wondering how to extricate himself from their position on the couch without making it seem like he was rejecting her ideas. Her thumb brushed against the denim of his leg and he pulled in a quick breath. He nudged the file aside and stood up, running a hand through his hair. “Um,” he said. “I don’t know. I… maybe. There’s someone I might show these medical files to, though, if you think they’re connected.”

Diana sighed and leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest. “Your doctor friend?”

Fox chewed on his bottom lip, nodded.

She pushed herself off the couch to stand in front of him, eyes imploring. With one hand, she tentatively reached out to touch his elbow. “These files are sensitive.” She inched closer and he backed almost imperceptibly toward the desk. Her face fell into shadow, but her eyes shone through it, watching him. “I don’t know that we should take them outside the Bureau.”

“But she’s—“ He stopped himself before giving away Dana’s new and tentative relationship with the FBI, but he saw the spark of curiosity on Fowley’s face.

“She’s what?” 

When he didn’t answer, she continued. “You’ve seemed upset lately,” she said, even closer now. “I thought maybe you’d broken up.”

Her words startled him, and a sense of something, like ice water down his back, took hold: surprise at how transparent he must have been, a sense of danger at what that might mean. Fox shook his head, aware again of their physical proximity. He realized what was happening: she was here to seduce him, to make him forget about Dana and move on to whatever this was she seemed to want from him. He held out a hand to stop her movement forward. “What is this?” He asked, realizing of how planned this all felt. “What’s happening here?”

He watched her try to grab hold of the situation with a faltering smile. “I thought maybe you felt lost. I thought maybe you needed something to center you. Here, in this work.”

“Well, I don’t,” he said. “I’m happy in the work I do, and my relationship is… fine,” he lied. Whatever he and Dana were going through was none of Diana’s business. “Did you come here to convince me? Why do you keep… dragging me toward these cases?”

“Dragging you? I thought you’d be interested.”

“Why? I mean, I am, but at first it was strange phenomena and occult overtones, which I understand because of my other work, but… Now it’s what? Some kind of conspiracy? What is this? Why me?”

Something in Diana collapsed, then, and her mask fell, the seductive glint in her eye falling to disappointment. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “There’s more to these files,” she said, and he nodded.

“I can see you think that.”

She shook her head. “It’s not just me. They won’t tell me what the connection is, though, or why it’s happening. They want you looking into them.”

Fox was suddenly very confused. This was more than just one woman’s desire for his help on a series of cases. “Who is they?” He asked. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, Fox. You’ve no idea.” She slumped down onto his couch and dropped her head into her hands. “If I tell you…” her words, muffled into her palms. She looked up and he was surprised to find fear in her eyes. “I can’t have failed,” she said.

“Failed who?” His anger at her manipulation was dying down, and his voice was gentler now. “Failed at what?”

Her mouth fell open, like she wanted to speak, but then she shook her head. She gathered the file folder and began readying to leave. “Just please work this case with me,” she said as she stood. “Maybe we’ll both know more then. All I’ll say is… there’s something in the State Department worth knowing. Something others want you to discover.” She gave him a long, knowing look, then turned for the door.

Fox was so dumbfounded that he hardly registered her receding footsteps, or the sound of the opening and closing door, or the ringing of his ears in the silence that remained. His father worked at the State Department. His father who had beat up his mother in a furious rage and then abandoned them all for years, who barely remembered he had children at all.

The shape of the world wobbled. Its edges bent, and holes opened up where there had seemed solid ground just moments before. Could there be a connection? Could someone be pulling strings all around him?

Fox wandered into the kitchen in search of something. His apartment felt stale, its dim light enclosing and suffocating rather than secure and comfortable. He picked up a bottle of whiskey off his counter, barely touched since he bought it six months ago. Then he set it back down and took a beer from the fridge. Dana, he thought. What have I gotten into?

—

Stanford

Dana Scully had spent most of the day up to her elbows in human organs. She had fended off two sleazy come-ons at the gym and a sexist remark from a doctor doing “very important work” at the hospital. She’d felt neither afraid nor small during any of it, but staring at her telephone now, she felt overwhelmed by what lay on the other end of the line.

This was the path she wanted for her life. The FBI had recruited her and she had accepted their offer. It meant more training, but at the end would be something far more fulfilling than she’d dare hope for. She’d be near her family, too. And Fox… For the first time, she felt like she had absolutely everything to lose. 

But she missed him. If she were to let him slip away… would any of the rest of it mean as much? Would she risk those other things for him? She would, she realized. If he’d have her back, she’d risk the FBI. And there was only one way to know if he would: she needed to pick up the phone.

So she did. She dialed. She held her breath and listened to the sound of his far-away phone ringing, her own heart beating, her throat swallowing.

“H’lo,” he answered, sounding aloof and sleepy.

“Oh,” she said. “Um, it’s me.”

“Dana?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he returned, sounding more alert now. “How are you? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Are you? I mean, how are you? I’ve been thinking about you.”

“I’m okay. Mostly fine.”

“Mostly?”

“Mostly. I’m a little… well. It’s okay.”

There was a long pause as Dana considered his words. Had she waited too long? She didn’t know how to bring it up, what had happened between them. She felt tears gathering at the back of her throat, stinging the tip of her nose. She squeezed at the receiver and tried to make herself say something normal, but nothing would come.

“Dana?”

She swallowed. “I… I ruined everything, didn’t I?”

“You… what? No,” he said. “You didn’t ruin anything.”

“I’m sorry.” Her voice was strained.

“Don’t be sorry.”

“I guess… I can’t very well make it worse. I guess I owe you an explanation.” She sniffed, pushed her hair back from her face, stared at the pattern made by tiny scratches on the surface of her table.

“You tell me whatever you’re ready to tell me. I’m here.”

Dana took a deep breath, and then slowly, everything came out. Daniel, and her fear of disappointing him, her fear of letting down her father, of failing at the FBI, and of course, of disappointing him. How she feared what he’d think of her. “And so I thought it would be better to just step away, to let things cool off so we wouldn’t get hurt.”

“So we wouldn’t?”

“So… so I wouldn’t.” The sound of her breathing seemed too loud in the silent apartment. Yes, Fox, because I was a coward, she thought. So I wouldn’t have to show you how weak I really am.

But when he spoke, the forgiveness in his voice surprised her. “Dana, I would never do anything to hurt you. I just need you to talk to me.”

Talking, she thought. With words. About feelings. Yes, she could do that. Was doing that. “Okay,” she said.

“Where is this Daniel guy? You want me to come beat him up?”

Dana thought of two men brawling in the street over her—or more likely some hospital corridor—and laughed. “Yeah, would you?” The thought and his voice warmed her from across the continent and she felt an overwhelming need to see him again, to touch him and watch his eyes so she could believe him that this all wasn’t lost.

“You just say the word,” Fox said. There was a beat of silence and then, “Is your term almost over?”

Her heart quickened at the question. She swiped at her eyes. “Yeah.”

“Come see me.”

“Okay.”

—

Washington Dulles International Airport

March 18, 1990

They were two beating hearts in a crowd of strangers, looking for each other. The man, tall and lanky, went on tip-toe to see above the heads of others, to stare at the door of deplaning passengers. She, small but fierce in her determination, clutched her bag and willed her heart to slow. He spotted her first, of course, from his better vantage, and his smile glowed with earnest, involuntary joy. Her own face was anticipatory nerves with a touch of guilt, another of hope. But when she saw his smile, her own broke the tension of her worry and she hurried to him, dropped her bag at his feet, let herself be scooped into the air, crushed against his chest.

“You came,” she whispered into his ear, lost to the world around her because there was only only him.

“Did you think I wouldn’t?”

Yes, for him it was the same: only her. There were the subtle freckles on her cheeks, the green sweater soft under his fingers, the smell of her hair, which had been pulled back for travel but was slipping from its holder to lay across her neck. She filled all of his perception.

“I wasn’t sure,” she spoke into his collarbone, clinging to him in fistfuls, sucking deep through her nose like she could pull him into her pores.

“You can be sure,” he told her, letting their bodies slip apart so their eyes could meet. “You can always be sure.”

His palms were on her cheeks while two pairs of eyes shone with unshed tears under the world-tilting weight of their gravity. Then he was kissing her. Or she was kissing him. Both, of course. They were woven together on the bland carpet of the airport terminal, four cheeks growing pink with the flush of lust and as-yet-unspoken love. In her lips was her apology, which he would not accept but only swallowed and offered back his understanding, acceptance, gratitude.

On that bland carpet he tasted her and felt her cling to him and then broke their kiss before he could reach a point where he would not have the will to stop, but also because he could not contain the truth for a second longer. Across from a Sunglass Hut and a pretzel stand, in the anonymity of that wide, flat place between places, he told her he loved her.

“Dana Scully,” he said, and shook his head in wonder. He kissed the small divot between her eyes, then the freckled ridge of her nose. “I love you so much.”

She swallowed hard, heart quickened with his unexpected, so-desired words, and watched his face—found it all true. Her lips wobbled and she nodded, but could not speak. Instead she grabbed his head, tangled fingers in thick brown hair, pressed palm to stubbled cheek, and pulled him down to kiss her again, fierce and grateful and so in love.

— end chapter 10 —

Go to Chapter 11