#might edit in more song references later

[bedforddanes75]

somehow i think closer by nine inch nails is deus in absentia coded but Idk it just makes sense to me like the way i'm thinking about it is waaay too harsh for them but in the same vein it's just harsh enough to be some kind of stereotypical vintage 80s esque kink stuff (girl pls) and i really like when people use kink as a way to express vulnerability and i think it should be used more Actually. i just really like this song

[604to647]

Strawberry Shortcake (part 1 of 2)

4K / Frankie Morales x fem!reader

Summary: You thought working as a cocktail waitress at a strip club would just be a way to make some easy money - you didn't expect to meet him.

Warnings: 18+ Content (MDNI please). Private room shenanigans, longing, ref to f!masturbation, nicknames as always, reader is a single parent (mentioned briefly in the this part), TF boys make a quick appearance!

A/N: In this part, reader only knows Frankie as "Francisco", but for the purpose of the narrative, I refer to him as Frankie most of the time. This came out of nowhere and I wrote it in one day instead of editing the next chapter of SwY 🫣 procrastination fics are a thing, right? Barely proofread, please excuse all my mistakes!

Series Masterlist

Dividers by @saradika-graphics as always 🥰 The moodboard Frankie pic is from Pinterest but after a wee bit of sleuthing, I believe it’s a screen grab from this gifset by @uuuhshiny - please correct me if I’m wrong!! 😊

Swaying seductively to the club’s upbeat remix of an old school RnB song you’ve always loved, you hit each bass beat with a little pop of your hip so that you lightly knock your knees into the widespread thighs of the man whose legs you’re dancing in between.  The combined movement lends a little bounce to your naked tits, and as you raise your arms above your head and continue to move to the music, you have to bite your lower lip to prevent from smiling and chuckling.  Even with your eyes closed, you know the man’s large, calloused hands, ever respectful of the private room’s ‘No Touching’ rule, are spread, straining with superhuman restraint and digging into those same meaty thighs that you keep rubbing against.  You might be doing it on purpose.  Afterall, the rule is that he can’t touch, but you can.

Trailing your fingers down through your hair, then down, down along your face and neck until you reach your chest, your hands grab and grope your breasts the way you know the man before you wishes he could.  Letting yourself pretend that your desperate touches are his, you let out a little whimper that’s meant to try his resolve.  As you bend your knees while rolling your hips, the lascivious show you’re putting on is lowered to his eye level, and you continue to palm your tits, rolling and pinching your nipples between your fingers – pretty peaks hardening as the fan of his heavier than usual breath hits them just right.  You know you’re being terribly teasing and unfair, but here in this dimly lit room, wearing nothing but a pair of black lace panties, you’ve never felt safer.  Or sexier.  And it’s all because of this man.

Francisco.

Never one to break the private room’s cardinal rule, or even cop a feel while out on the main floor, this man is nothing but respectful.  And that makes you wish even more that he would just break – break all the rules and have his way with you.  Touch you.  Grab you.  Manhandle you to his liking and take you right on the faux velvet couch that lines the wall behind him.  With a low and wide swivel of your hips, you ghost over the growing bulge of his jeans and you hear him groan - a deep guttural sound from the back of his throat, and this time you don’t fight the smile that spreads across your face.

Francisco.

He’s probably been your favourite part of working as a club cocktail waitress these past few months.  You have a job as a research assistant that you love, but earlier this Spring, a small accident in the lab led to a temporary closure that had you looking for short-term work – you needed something where the hiring process wasn’t drawn out and that you could quit when the lab reopened without any negative consequences to your career - the waitress opening at The Midnight Palace had fit the bill.  The money was good and the work wasn’t arduous; it wasn’t as if you were one of the onstage dancers who had to perform some of the most incredible feats of acrobatics you’ve ever seen.  Even the later hours turned out to be a blessing, allowing you to spend your now free days with your son, a welcomed opportunity to fill his carefree summer days with activities and play before he started kindergarten in the Fall.  The girls, dancers and waitresses alike were incredibly friendly and welcoming, many of them single moms themselves.  All in all, you think you might even miss the club when the newly renovated lab reopened.  And still, even with all your unexpected fondness for this job, the thing you unequivocally look forward to most when coming in to work is Francisco Morales.

Every two weeks without fail he came in with a group of army buddies on Friday night.  The first time you encountered them had been your second week at the club, amused at how the other girls had been excited for their arrival; the group was known for being fun loving and rowdy, but never disruptive or disrespectful.  And generous - very generous.  As a waitress, your dress code was lingerie of your choice - not any more or less skimpy than what the dancers wore on stage or when they came to the floor for lap dances, but it could invite the occasional butt slap or waist grab from some of the bolder club patrons.  But never Francisco’s group – you served them drink after drink after drink, and they were only ever sweet and charming, nothing more than a polite touch as thanks, and generous with their words of praise and tips to every one of their servers and dancers.  You come to learn that they usually end their evenings with a round or two in the private rooms, sometimes one-on-one, other times as a group.  On that first night, you served the drinks in a private room that the group commandeered with three gorgeous dancers - all giggling and having the time of their lives.  As you put down their drinks, the dark-haired man that you come to think of as the group’s leader, smiled at you with his piercing hooded eyes and laughing, “Hey hunny, why don’t you stay?  We’ll pay for your time and you can keep Fish company.”  He tilted his head back to indicate to his friend who sat a bit further back from the group in a chair, leaning back comfortably, arms crossed, with no stripper to call his own.

You had smiled politely, not sure of your answer even though Tiffany had nodded encouragingly at you; most patrons didn’t know, but any girl could be invited to a private room – not just the dancers.  It was rare for a waitress to spend time in a private room – while there was no obligation, there was some expectation to strip and most waitresses didn’t; when you took the job, you didn’t have any intention of spending any one-on-one time in the private rooms, despite the rate and the tips being quite good. 

As you approach the odd man out to serve him his drink, he gives you an almost bashful shake of his head, as if to say ‘You don’t have to’ – you’re not sure what it is, maybe it was his almost boyishly shy smile, or the glimpse of those soft brown curls you caught when he lifted his cap to nervously run his hands through his hair, but on a whim, you decide to stay.  Afterall, it’s not as if you were alone – there were six other people in the room with you.

Putting his drink down, you slide into the handsome stranger’s lap, perching your scantily clad bum on his thick thigh, you blink bright-eyed and throw him a cheeky grin, “So… you’re a Fish?”  The wholesome chuckle and crinkle of his captivating eyes that follow your question warm your chest more than they should and that’s how you meet Francisco Morales. 

That first night, Frankie spends the remainder of the time that Santi pays for with you in his lap, arm thrown around his neck to keep from slipping off, just talking about nothing and everything.  You learn that the men are old army buddies: Santiago (call sign: Pope), Will (call sign: Ironhead), Ben (no call sign, just Benny because he’s the baby of the group) and of course Francisco, call sign: Catfish.   You giggled at this and Frankie thinks the sound is more than adorable.  You get a chance to run your fingers through the curls at the base of his neck and find them to be as soft as you thought they’d be.  Ultimately, you find yourself spending an inordinate amount of time staring into his warm brown eyes as Frankie tells you about himself and his work as a helicopter pilot and mechanic.  When the little melodic bell chimes to indicate that the private room times are almost up, you can’t believe how fast the time has gone - you leave Francisco with a light kiss on the cheek and thank him for giving your tired feet a rest.

Two weeks later he returns and asks for a private room slot with just you.  And again, two weeks after that.  And again, and again – now a regular occurrence for the past few months, every time the boys came in to the club.  Your time in the private room with Francisco is comfortable, fun, flirty, and always, always safe.  A man of honour, he never touches you - his hands stay by his sides, on the table or on his own body, but never yours.  With time, you give yourself permission to be bold, growing more and more unrestrained with your touches. 

Taking off his cap, you’ll card your hands through his hair and lightly massage Frankie’s scalp – the first time you did this, you earned a soft ‘Baby’ from his plush lips that had your face feeling hotter than hot.  It fills you with something akin to pride and possessiveness that you know those same lips are pillow soft - you’ve run your fingers over them a hundred times, just as you have his cheekbones and jaw line, tracing over every firm line of his handsome face with featherlight strokes.  Nothing compares to feeling of his cheeks cupped in your soft hands as you scratch his patchy scruff, except maybe the swell of your chest when this affectionate gesture secures you another nickname, hermosa. 

But by far, your favourite nickname comes during your third time together.  Having looped both your arms around Frankie’s neck after making him laugh with a funny observation about a TV show you both watch, he closes his eyes once his laughter subsides and murmurs, “You smell like strawberries.”  Giggling, you confess that it’s the glitter gel you borrow from one of the dancers; you were still too new to the club scene to have any of your own body glitter, but you liked the smell of this one so you kept borrowing it and Sasha didn’t seem to mind. 

“Smells good, baby,” Frankie declares, “That’s my favourite dessert, you know?  And you’re just as sweet, Shortcake.”  Shortcake.  The petname had stuck and made you feel giddy every time the endearment slipped from his lips.  You don’t tell him that when you have to buy body wash the following week, you choose a strawberry scented one on purpose.

Sometimes your time with Frankie feels almost like taking an unsanctioned break – some misguided concept of proper work ethic finds you volunteering to dance for him even though it’s not in your job description; to both your delight, you discover you actually enjoy it, greedily drinking in Frankie’s lustful gaze as his eyes follow every dip of your waist and sway of your hips.  More recently, you’ve progressed to massaging his tense shoulders and back when he tells you about his rough days at work; as you push and pull at the corded muscles under his shirt, the deep rumbling groan that drops from his chest shoots straight between your legs and you can’t help but salivate at the idea of making him feel good in other ways.

But most of the time, you simply sit in Frankie’s lap, the two of you chatting and getting to know each other as if you were just two people that met under totally normal circumstances and found the other to be attractive.  You learn that he’s kind and giving, and he makes you laugh so very easily – some nights your face hurts a little from smiling so much, content to just listen to Frankie talk while absentmindedly rubbing his large, paw of a hand with your much smaller ones.

You think about his laugh and the way his entire chest shakes with it all the time.  On the nights between his visits to the club, you go home and think about his soulful eyes and the way they can flicker from a soft puppy dog look to a darkened, gripping expression of want with just a single touch from you.  After the nights you spend with him, he stars in all of your bedtime fantasies and you come to his imagined touch, hard and desperate with his name curling over your lips.  You wonder what it would be like to wake up next to him.  If he would smile at you in the morning daylight the way he does when you kiss his cheek goodbye in the dark private room, all soft and almost disbelieving.  You wonder if he ever thinks about you at all outside of your nights together at the club.  You try not to let yourself get too lost in your longing for what might never be, but as the summer goes on, you start to ache for him, missing the little you have of him every day between your rendezvous.

Sadly, as much you cherish the time with Francisco in your little bubble within the safety of the club’s private room, you know it’s a fantasy that can’t last.  While Frankie knows you have a separate career outside of the club, he doesn’t know that your time together is nearly up.  The original timeline for the lab to be ready was end of summer, but an email you received last week indicated that the renovations were ahead of schedule and all lab and research staff could expect to return to work soon, though the exact date was yet to be fixed.  You don’t say anything to him - unwilling to spoil the mood of your limited remaining time together, and moreover, unwilling to broach the topic of what this is and if it could be anything else.  Anything more. 

Afraid, really, of what Francisco’s answer may be.

You have a feeling that your call back to work will come any day now, and that’s how you find yourself in the position you’re in now: topless and gyrating, cunt positively dripping while you touch your breasts salaciously for Francisco’s enjoyment.  Earlier tonight, when he had you sitting on his lap like that first time, the two of you drowning in the other’s eyes and longing looks, you had realized just how much you were going to miss him when you left.  The thought that this might be the last time you’re able have Frankie like this - all to yourself, able to soak in his adoring gaze while drawing a deep sigh of contentment from his chest as you study the strong features of his face, makes you bold and brave.  You rise and stand in between his legs, tilting his face up with your fingers so he looks at you while you reach behind and start to unclasp your bra.

“Hermosa, you don’t have t-” Frankie starts to protest, not sure where this might be coming from.  He’s been perfectly happy with how the two of you have been spending your private room time together.  In no way has Frankie ever wanted you to feel like he was pushing for more than you were giving him.  He won’t pretend that he doesn’t dream about your soft curves and the way your gorgeous figure nearly spills from the drool worthy lingerie you always wear; his nights alone in bed are spent imagining how you might feel writhing underneath him, what sounds he could pull from you while he explores your body – he’s willing to bet you taste sweeter than the strawberry scent that always seems to linger on his skin after he visits you.  But here in this room, it’s only the pleasure of your company and the opportunity to make you laugh and smile that he will ask from you.

Pressing a finger to his lips, you assure him, “Shhhhhh, Francisco.  I want to.  You’ve been so good to me these last few months.  I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the way you make me feel so special – it’s been a long time since anyone has made me feel this way.”

“Baby, I want to make you feel special everyday,” breathes Frankie.

You sigh, “And you’re so respectful.  I appreciate it so much, baby.  Please. Let me show you how much I appreciate you.”  Letting your lacy black bra fall to the ground, you watch as Frankie’s pupils dilate until his eyes turn jet black with want, jaw dropping.

“Holy fuck, Shortcake,” Frankie practically growls, “you’re even more gorgeous than I imagined.”  His unblinking gaze lingering over your pert and bouncy curves, bare and presented for him – a sight he didn’t even dare allow himself to dream.

Cocking your head to the side, you can’t help but feel your heart burst at his admission, “You think about me, Francisco?”

“All the time, baby,” there’s no use playing coy with you, not when you’re so perfect and vulnerable before him.  Frankie manages to tear his eyes away from your nearly nude body only to be met with what he thinks is the most beautiful sight on Earth, you smiling at him sweetly, radiating pure happiness.  Did he do that?  Did he make you happy?  He can’t help but feel a burst of pride - he wants to do it again and again.

Almost shyly, you tease, “Would you let me dance for you?”

Finding himself at a loss for words, Frankie can only assent with a quick nod before he watches, mesmerized, as you start to sway you body to the beat of the music pouring in from outside the private room; every line and dip of your figure moves rhythmically as if to hypnotize him.  Frankie doesn’t know how long you dance, but every brush of your legs against his causes his dick to twitch and he has to bite down on his bottom lip to stop himself from moaning.  When you move your hands to cup those perfect breasts of yours, he stares as you fondle and play with your nipples and thinks he might actually rip holes in his jeans with how hard he’s digging his fingers into his legs.  He’s painfully hard and he wants to touch you so bad.  But, of course he won’t.  You trust him not to cross that line, and he would never want you to feel anything but perfectly safe with him.

When you finally open your eyes, you see Frankie gazing at you - eyes glued to your face with an almost pained look of reverence, devotion etched into the handsome features of his face and it makes your heart sing.  “Francisco,” you tut playfully, “I finally get half naked for you, and you’re looking at my face?”

“Prettiest view in the room, Shortcake.”

“Oh, baby,” you purr, and then as if taking off your top for him wasn’t bold enough, you close the little distance left between your bodies and kiss him.  Soft and tentative at first, but when you feel Frankie’s mouth chase yours for more, the kiss quickly becomes needy, hungry.  Frankie’s hands remain on his legs, so you touch him for the both of you – running your hands through his soft hair, you cradle his head in your palms and tip his face to yours, pulling him up so you can press your lips more greedily to his.  Frankie’s tongue finds yours and he matches its every brush and stroke with equal fervour; as he map the inside of your mouth, the needy groans that vibrate from the back of your throat make his teeth rattle and his heart soar.  You gasp for air, but don’t take in enough because you can’t bear to be parted from his perfect, plush mouth – trading air for the dizziness that comes with the way Frankie devours you.  You kiss him like it’s everything you’ve been wanting to do for the last few months because it is; you kiss him like it’s the last time because it might be.

You break apart to the chime of the bell that warns the private rooms that their sessions are almost over.  Arms still around Frankie’s neck, you’re flattened against him – your knees pressed against his groin where you can feel his hard cock straining against his pants, your now heaving breasts tucked right beneath his chin, but he only has eyes for your face – the two of you grinning like lovestruck fools, though Frankie swears your eyes look a little sad.

“Time’s almost up, Francisco,” you whisper.  Backing away, you grab your bra from where it fell earlier and thread your arms through the straps.  Turning, you hold the cups to your chest and throw over your shoulder, “Do you mind?”

Wordlessly, Frankie expertly hooks your bra closed; when the backs of his thick fingers brush against your skin to buffer the snap of the band, that iota of contact sends an electrical current straight to your throbbing core.  And just when you think that’s all you’ll ever have of Francisco’s touch, you feel it: a soft, tender kiss to your lower back.  It’s so sweet you have to choke back a sob. 

Leaving him at the curtain to the room, you kiss his cheek lightly as you always do.

“See you next time, Shortcake.”

“Goodnight, Francisco.”

As if you were clairvoyant, the call from your old job comes the following Wednesday, and by that Friday you’ve worked your last shift at The Midnight Palace.  Saying goodbye to your co-workers, you know you’ll genuinely miss them and truly hope to keep in touch.

You wrestle briefly with leaving Francisco a message, but the truth is, you don’t know what you’d say or what you’d be asking for.  What you shared in the private room had seemed so precious and real, but was it really?  Could it ever survive in the real world?  The real world of kids, and long work days, and mundane chores?  If the magic of your time together with Frankie was marred by reality or if he never even responded, your fantasy of him would be shattered and then you wouldn’t even have the memory of him.  So, selfishly and somewhat cowardly, you opt to keep your little fantasy of Francisco for yourself and your lonely nights, and you leave knowing that in a week’s time he’ll show up and find you gone. 

The return to work is unremarkable and your schedule quickly normalizes to what it was before the lab incident; you’re happy to see your team again and easily delve back into the work you enjoy.  The remainder of the summer passes quickly, and before you know it, the first day of kindergarten is upon you.

Walking hand in hand with your son, you can’t help shedding a few tears seeing your child take this monumental step.  He’s nervous, but is taking a lot of big kid pride in being brave like you talked about.  After helping him find his cubby and putting his backpack away, you step into the hallway to say your last goodbyes as the teacher has instructed.

Burying his face in your neck, your son murmurs, “I love you, mama,” before striding confidently back into the classroom, waving back to your tearful, “I love you, Ray-ray! See you after school!”

Behind you, you hear the sniffles of a young girl who is having a little more difficulty separating from her parent; the low rumble of her father whispering words of reassurance and love transition to a louder and clear, “I’m proud of you, mija!” as the little girl walks tentatively towards the open door of the classroom.

That voice.  That calm, deep baritone is oddly familiar to you but you can’t quite place it.  You might puzzle over it a little if it wasn’t for your son reaching out his hand to the little girl at that moment and saying, “Hi!  I’m Raynor!  I’m in your class!” and the little girl smiling back wide, “Hi Raynor!  I’m Valentina!” before they walk hand-in-hand towards their new teacher.

Proud of your son and slightly relieved that he might have just made his first friend, you turn around to beam at the father of the little girl. 

You can only imagine the look of brief recognition quickly giving way to shock that the tall, good-looking man gives you, mirrors your own.  How was this possible?

Francisco.

Part 2

[muzaktomyears]

George Harrison remained an enigma to many people, even those who were close to him. For a man who lectured passionately about karma and the meaning of existence, he seemed self-protective and closed off. Witty when called upon, there were also moments when he could be quite boorish. Perhaps it was because he was only twenty years old when the Beatles became a global sensation. That might not seem particularly young in today’s world of social media fame, but at the time, it was uncharted territory for the kind of adulation he was experiencing.

It was also difficult living in the shadow of Paul and John. In the beginning, they were openly dismissive of him. Paul said he always thought of George as a little brother. At first, John pretended not to know his name and sardonically referred to him as “that kid’’. Ironically, one of George’s compositions, Something, became the most covered song in the Beatles catalogue.

This interview was conducted at George Harrison’s palatial home, Friar Park, in Henley-on-Thames, on November 5, 1980. George was gracious but cool. He made a pot of tea in the drafty, vast kitchen of his 120-room estate, and spent two hours lecturing about Transcendental Meditation and the details of a limited edition of his autobiography, I Me Mine, which is certainly how he must have felt getting out on his own.

In 2000, George was diagnosed with oropharyngeal cancer. George died on November 29, 2001, in the company of his wife, Olivia; his son, Dhani; musician Ravi Shankar; and Hare Krishna devotees who chanted verses from the Bhagavad Gita. He was 58 years old and left nearly $100 million in his will. George told Olivia that he didn’t want to be remembered for being a Beatle, he wanted to be remembered for being a good gardener.

‘It was a transcendental experience that was beyond the mind’

On taking LSD

LSD was just such a violent, big experience. Before it I was totally ignorant, and afterward I knew I was totally ignorant and I was now on my way to having some sort of knowledge. I related it to the childhood experience of Catholicism and going to church on a Sunday and seeing all that phoney baloney. The moment I’d taken LSD, it just made me laugh because I understood it inside, just in a flash. I understood what the whole concept of God or religion was just by seeing it. I could see it in the grass in the trees.

It was an absolute truth; like a light going ching. I took three very powerful trips — big, very important — and then it left me a bit unsure because I had to try and figure something out. By that time I had gotten into Indian music and spent time in India, [and] there was so much about it that felt like home to me. Not the surface that you see — all this poverty and the flies and the shit everywhere — [it] went beyond all that. Smells in the atmosphere and the people’s attitude and the music, the food, the religion, everything about it … home.

‘I’d hear his voice wailing at five in the morning’

On the death of Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones

I liked Brian a lot, and later on, I realised it was probably because we were both Pisces. We both had similar natures. He was also similar in that he had a Keith and a Mick, whereas I had a John and a Paul. We both had that problem of two mighty egos to deal with in order just to try and survive. I was very susceptible to dope, and Brian [Jones] was even more susceptible. He’d come [to my house], and I’d just hear his voice wailing at like five in the morning: “George, Geeooorrgggeeee.” So I’d wake up, see what was going on, and I’d look out the window, and he’d be all white and just shattered walking around the garden — just looking for somewhere to be.

I would always meet him at that time of day and just try to calm him down. And I saw him a lot before he died in that sort of circumstance. The last time I saw him, I think, was when I’d been in hospital to have my tonsils out and he came to see me in hospital and the next week he was gone. He was like all of them who kicked the bucket — it was sad because there were too many pressures, really. Not just the pressure of being famous and having the press hounding you day and night and young fans hounding you day and night. Plus the drugs hounding you day and night.

‘F*** it — I could do better than that’

On his childhood inspiration, Cliff Richard

I remember being a kid of about twelve, dreaming of big motorboats and tropical islands and things which had nothing to do with Liverpool, which was dark and cold. I remember going to see Cliff Richard and thinking, f*** it — I could do better than that.

‘I think being Elvis was lonelier than being one of the Fab Four’

On fame — and Elvis Presley

We kept realising we were getting bigger and bigger until we all realised we couldn’t go anywhere —you couldn’t pick up a paper or turn on a radio or TV without seeing yourself. I mean, it became too much. We became trapped, and that’s why it had to end, is what I think … We were like monkeys in a cage. I think it was helped a bit by the fact that it was four of us, who shared the experience. I mean, there was more than four of us, there was Peter Brown and Brian Epstein, but there was only four of us who were actually the Fab Four — whereas Elvis had an entourage and maybe 15 guys, friends of his, but there was only one man having that experience of what it was like to be Elvis Presley. I think that was far lonelier than being one of the Fab Four because at least we could keep each other laughing or crying or whatever we did to each other. It was definitely an asset being in a group.

(source)

[jules-ln]

I've seen a post that seems to indicate to me that there are some people that think that Achilles "officially" has chestnut hair???

And like, first of all, I think this comes from Emily Wilson's translation of the Iliad, a very recent translation, that personally I don't like too much

But I want to beg everyone to stop, and for the love of God read "Death of the Author" by Roland Barthes. No, don't just read the title and imagine what the essay could be about, actually read it

Because I think that it would help a lot of people to understand a bit more of the Iliad

Now allow me to explain

The Iliad is soooo old, that the time in which the story is supposed to "happen" was waaay before the invention of paper, and we don't actually know how society worked back then in what today is Greece, we can only have "educated guesses" on how things might've worked (and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying or misinformed or a time traveler)

More than that, it's possible that some characters in the Iliad might be older than the story of the war itself and were later added to the Iliad because somebody liked the characters that much and said "my ancient blorbo must be in it too!"

Like some people even speculate that the name Achilles originally came from a pre Greek language that dissappeared with time and we can't be sure of it's meaning

Now that you know that, guess what, the Iliad is a book and it has always been a book, right?

❌️Wrong❌️

The Iliad originally was interpreted by a bard, and it was an oral tradition, that's right, the very first Iliad was a song

And by the mere nature of oral tradition, the "Iliad" changed more and more with each interpretation, and it's very likely that the different bards added or removed parts of it

Then it got written down, and guess whaaaat

The Iliad we have today, yeah, the one that everyone uses for translation, it isn't the first Iliad that got written down either

Because, you see, when an author writes something the fans don't like and the fans are like "I can fix it" that's a sentiment that has always existed in humanity

So the Iliad more likely than not had lots and lots of "editors" that added and subtracted things depending on what they liked or not

You can see that in the many inconsistencies the Iliad has

Like the part where Apollo makes Patroclus's armor fall off him, but then Hector later takes the armor off of Patroclus's body???

So the Iliad has changed so so so much that if there ever was an authorial intent to begin with, it has been washed away and buried between many different voices

Any meaning you want to find in, in part has been made up by yourself and your frame of reference (like what Roland Barthes said)

For all we know, the description of Achilles's hair might be one of the most "recent" edits of the story! So there's never going to be an "oficial" depiction of a character

The author isn't going to take your hand and guide you to a meaning because there's no such author to begin with, deal with it

But don't come here and say that a character has an "official" hair color because of one translation out of many that came out last year and then blame MM for a popular depiction that's been popular for years and then question her credentials and her intelligence (which funny how this always happens to her and never to a man) on top of everything

[hum4n01df00]

Kylo ren is a goth icon 🥀🗡️

Ok I know as a fandom we have already sort of agreed on this. But Ben is so friggen goth. And I’m not just saying this because I saw a “goth” by sidewalks and skeletons edit of him on TikTok the other day I’m saying this because it’s just so accurate. Here are some further things that I’d like to prove just for the giggles.

- him and Hux look like they’d have a strange ass modern dark wave/post punk/goth rock band that is only available on YouTube for some reason. Hell they even act like band members who have been around each other too long. I reckon kylo would be like vocals/bass and hux would be the keyboardist. Idk what their band name would be but the thought is still funny.

- he has an alias and it’s obviously kylo ren! Idk that concept is so funny and I saw some angst teen kylo fan art of him asking his family members to correctly refer to him as such. Like he’d be so on their ass about it too! I mean he still is but he is more linient when Rey calls him Ben.

- he has at least one issue with a family member that doesn’t accept him and it’s luke (for obvious reasons) but yeah idk why but that might add to this list.

- his lightsaber is red and it looks like an upside down cross! It looks like one of those lights you’d see at a really obscure goth club. That just seems so goth to me.

- he is a hopeless romantic and wants Rey to convert to the dark side. Bro probably listens to disintegration by the cure on repeat(love song being his favourite) and just picturing him doing that is so funny. Just that idea that he is so devoted and has an emotional side is so goth. Also, I just know he fw non goth bands like new order or the human league. It’s so in character of him in a disturbing way.

- his clothing is all black and he fancies cloaks and big boots a lot.

- he definitely box dies his hair (ik Adam drivers hair is naturally that black but the thought of it makes so much sense). In addition to this reason both of his parents have brown hair and I know he feels rebellious.

- if kylo existed on earth, he would definitely be a fan of guy liner and black nail polish. I don’t make the rules!

- in one of those costume/prop (idk which one pls don’t diss me) books it’s stated that he has a calligraphy set and the thought of him writing angsty poems about his situations is so silly and I can totally see him doing that.

- if he existed on earth, he’d totally have an emo phase as a teen and find a connection to goth music later in life. (I know this is specific but it just makes sense to me).

- going back to my first point, his mask would totally be a piece of his stage persona.

In conclusion, kylo ren would be the most perfect goth ever (in my opinion) and all of these points make sense to me in a really strange way. I just know he’d worship Robert smith or something.

Ps- I made a playlist for him so let me know if y’all want to see it.

[foggyfanfic]

What Tattoos would the Madrigals have?

Sorta a weird post, because presumably these characters are relatively devout Catholics, they absolutely would not ever get tattoos (not to mention we have no idea how much they know about micro-biology so jury’s out on how clean tattoos would be in Encanto). But I saw @teawizard ‘s picture of Bruno doing male thot jobs and it got me thinking. So!

Edit: Oof, this has been in my drafts way too long.

Alma

Hers are low key the most obvious to me. Alma would definitely have a little memorial tattoo for Pedro, and possibly have the triplet’s names. I’m operating under the assumption that she wasn’t born into an important family, so when she becomes La Señora Madrigal she makes an active effort to play the part rather than it coming naturally to her. Which would mean she might get a single tattoo right after losing Pedro, someplace easy for her to cover, then never again.

Agustín

I was going to say Agustín looks like he was raised too fancy to get tattoos even in this hypothetical, but then I actually thought about it a little. He’s supposed to be super accident prone, right? So, I think he’d have a tramp stamp. Hear me out! First time he goes out drinking with friends he discovers he is way more sensitive to alcohol than he thought he’d be. He wakes up with a bunch of blank spots in his memory, a helluva headache, and a sore spot on his back. A week or two later he is getting undressed to take a shower and notices something weird on his back out of the corner of his eye. And there it is! The words “Señor Madrigal” in a heart made out of healing herbs. Inexplicably, there are dolphins either side of the heart. When he asks his friends, he went missing for a while and they eventually found him hours later with his tie and vest off, and his shirt untucked. Biggest problem? He is not yet dating Julieta.

Julieta

In contrast, Julieta had an idea for a tattoo for her entire childhood, but figured she’d never get it because she knew her Má would hate it. She starts dating Agustín (is very amused when she sees his tattoo), then starts arguing with Alma over her boyfriend. In a fit of pique, she decides to get the tattoo whether or not her Má likes it. Even though Alma is annoyed at the tattoo itself, when she sees it she can’t help but like it. It’s essentially Julieta’s own version of the Hippocratic Oath on her left shoulder blade. Pepa makes fun of her because “even when you rebel against mother, you’re so perfect about it”. Eventually, Juli gets a matching tattoo with her siblings. Eventually.

Pepa

Pepa always wanted a tattoo but couldn’t settle on anything until Dolores is born. After that she gets each of her baby’s birthdates tattooed on her ankle. She would also eventually get a matching sibling tattoo.

Félix

Song lyrics, his wedding anniversary, and a tattoo that references his side of the family in some way. Maybe all together to form a sleeve, but more likely to be on his back.

Bruno

Bruno would have a full sleeve of good luck tattoos, and then some. He would have a chicken on one foot and a pig on the other (sailor superstition), on his shoulder blade opposite his sleeve he would have a prayer he likes that he got right before going into the walls. In an ill thought out fit of boredom he would give himself a stick and poke in the walls, the word “leña” on his knuckles (one of the ways to say wood in Spanish, although it looks like people usually use it to say firewood, but “madera” wouldn’t fit on his knuckles). Then when he gets out of the walls and is reunited with his sisters they would get a matching tattoo, the movie hasn’t really shown us enough of their relationship for me to say exactly what, but something meaningful to them.

Isabela

Immediately post movie she would get a sleeve of carnivorous and poisonous plants in order to express her newfound individuality. Later when she’s gotten over the initial high of finding herself, she would get a butterfly or something, something that represents her love for the family.

Dolores

One of Mariano’s poems on the inside of her forearm so she can reread it regularly. And a little lightning bolt right behind her ear, Pepa’s gift probably makes their relationship complicated, so I could see them looking for ways to show they do love each other despite said complications.

Luisa

She would have some sort of inspirational quote on her bicep about hard work, then post movie she would get another on the other arm about remembering to pause and enjoy life every once in a while.

Camilo

Like his mother he’d have a really hard time picking a tattoo, since the creators said they would have included him having slight identity issues if they had the space for it. When he gets on the other side of those issues, he gets those two theatre masks on the inside of his wrist to remind himself not to get too caught up in his own act.

Mirabel

Since she puts so much self expression into her clothes she wouldn’t really get the point of getting a tattoo until post movie when she starts actively building a relationship with Alma and thus gets to learn the town’s history more in depth than before. Then she gets the date the Encanto was established, a picture of the butterfly that was on the candle, and a quote about love conquering all.

Antonio

His back would become a guide to different animal tracks. So there would be the paw print and then right under it a label explaining what animal it goes to, but like all over his back and spilling down his arms when he runs out of room. Since he and the artist wouldn’t be sure how to do snake tracks, he’d have the local snake species circling his ankles and wrists.

[telomeke]

4 MINUTES – COUNTING DOWN

We're now just shy of the mid-point in 4 Minutes (three eps down with five more to go) and I've been avidly watching, but getting quite confused at the same time by all the twists and turns.

Part of that confusion stems from not being able to watch the "Sultrier" version at first, despite getting Viu Premium. (How do they come up with these euphemisms though? Remembering that KinnPorsche also had a "La Forte" incarnation. 🤣) The sanitized 4 Minutes was annoying, not just because the sexy bits were cut out, but also because we missed important, informative parts of the narrative.

For example, Korn and Ton Kla's Ep.1 sex scene was actually an in-your-face illumination of their relationship dynamics, and also a parallel with Win and Ton Kla's own Ep.3 turn in the sheets later, that revealed so much about their characters in the vein of show-don't-tell.

Ep.2's tryst between Korn and Fasai was also missing, as was (inexplicably) the conversation between Korn and a smoking Great in Ep.1. I can only presume it was Great's cigarettes that caused that scene to be snipped, because other scenes also had alcohol and ciggies all blurred out. Highly annoying, but anyway – I finally found out what was going on with Viu Premium, so if anyone else is having trouble finding Sultrier, I will share some tips in a different post.

And with that out of the way, I finally got to watching the unbutchered 4 Minutes – and I'm finding it smart, sexy and oh-so stylish in the mold that we've come to expect from Be On Cloud. Sumptuous cinematography and visuals are now quite a BoC hallmark, that started with KinnPorsche and continued in Man Suang – and 4 Minutes so far has been a delight to take in, a cinematic and super-twisty supernatural thriller overflowing with signs, symbols and scenes (possibly) pregnant with hidden meaning, so much so that the fandom is all a-flutter, me included.

Directing (and editing) has been taut, and I think Director Ning Bhanbhassa Dhubthien does much better when given free rein (unsaddled by screenwriting duties, and P'Pond maybe! 🤣) My take is colored by Man Suang – its huge potential for intellectual engagement (all that historical drama and political intrigue!) was unfortunately not developed to a satisfying extent; its most potent elements were given insufficient screentime, watering down what could have been a truly juicy experience for the viewer. Perhaps it might have done better as a mini-series with a longer timeframe for the developments to unfold, but that's a remake for another day perhaps.

Anyway, back to 4 Minutes. They've been really stoking the furnace with clues to the truth underlying the narrative, and fan theories abound as to what it all might mean while we breathlessly await revelation.

So I can only guess at some of the stuff, and nod at some of the visuals. But here's some of what I've picked up on.

The title 4 Minutes (especially with so many references in Ep.1 to cardiac arrest) is quite likely a nod at the widespread belief that when the heart stops beating, you only have four minutes to start resuscitation before the process of brain death begins to set in. (I'm seeing a lot of different opinions about this online, with some sources insisting the window of time is much longer. But there are enough mentions of the four-minute deadline in more than a few Thai sources that I think this is probably the intended significance, especially since screenwriter Sammon is also a medical doctor who would know of this notion's currency in popular culture. Here's an example in Thai media: CPR กู้ชีวิต ก่อนสมองตายใน 4 นาที/CPR saves life before brain death in 4 minutes.)

After the four minutes are up, it is too late to save the stricken patient – so there is a sense of urgency underlying the notion. (For another work that plays on this, see Madonna's song 4 Minutes where the urgency being messaged is about saving the planet instead.)

But with cardiac arrest, the premise is that even when corporeal death is signaled (cessation of the heartbeat being the traditional marker of this), a person's life-force still has that small window of time for human intervention to make a difference, a sort of ultimate last chance beyond the final frontier, if you will.

This aligns somewhat with what we're seeing of Great's do-overs, each time he is thrust back four minutes into the past. But I think there's also a bit more to it, based on what we're seeing in Episode 3.

Among all the fan theories online, this one by @myezblog caught my eye: Theory - plot is pretty much revealed.

Now, whenever Great is alone, we see that his clocks reset (and Great is aware of this too, by Ep.3). In Ep.1, his clock showed 11:00am (at timestamp 05:00, after his call with Title). And in Episode 2 we were shown Great's clock turning to 11:01 at timestamp 35:06, and in Episode 3 it went to 11:02 (timestamp 41:37).

But the ominous 11 o'clock actually put in an appearance even before these instances. Looking back, at the start of Episode 1 we were shown that the patient in the Emergency Department Resus bay basically flatlined at 11:00 – that was their time of death.

If it's really Great whose heart stopped on that Resus trolley in Ep.1, what we appear to be seeing is a flashback of events playing in his head, leading up to the time of his cardiac arrest (11:00).

And what his clocks are showing him (and us) whenever he's alone during that flashback is basically a countdown of the four minutes that he has, before he is brought back (hopefully) or is gone forever (I hope not – it wouldn't be much of a series then!).

So in the coming episodes, we should be watching for Great's clocks to tick up to the 11:04 mark – that is likely the time horizon when Great is jolted back to the present, hopefully having learnt some lessons reviewing his past that will be key to solving his conundrums in the present and the future.

[likeadevils]

Speak Now Timeline

This is a very long post that puts all the songs on Speak Now in order of Taylor creating them. I’ve also added a few other songs she wrote while writing Speak Now and quotes from Taylor and her collaborators talking about her process.

If you don't want to read all that, check out this playlist of the album in order or this playlist of her entire discography.

Due to a surprising amount of digital decay and her life not being highly documented yet, exact dates are bit harder to come by then they are with following albums, but you can still find a few! I’ve added this color coded scale of how sure I am of the date: 

Confirmed: There is some type of official source for the date

Inferring: Nobody has officially said “This is when we wrote it,” but everything points to that date

Speculation: This date is based off pure vibes and guesswork and is highly likely to change.

Unknown: All that is known is the year (from the US Copyright Offices)

More notes: I will probably be editing it as information about vault songs and new details about old songs get come out, so it probably won’t be finished until July, so check back in with this post and/or follow me if you want updates. Most tweet dates come from crawling through the wayback machine, but if you want further sourcing, feel free me an ask/dm.

Without further ado...

Sparks Fly: Late 2006 (Inferring)

Taylor opened up for Jake Owen on October 31, 2006 In Portland, Oregon (the secret message for the song), and wrote Sparks Fly about the experience shortly after. I’ve seen a few second hand sources say she wrote it on the airplane ride back to Nashville later that same night, but I can’t find Taylor herself saying that, so it might just be an old fandom legend, or the source has been lost to digital decay, or I just haven’t looked hard enough. She first performs the song in May 29, 2007.

Haunted: 2009 (Unknown)

Taylor: "Haunted" is about the moment that you realize the person you're in love with is drifting and fading fast. And you don't know what to do, but in that period of time, in that phase of love, where it's fading out, time moves so slowly. Everything hinges on what that last text message said, and you're realizing that he's kind of falling out of love. That's a really heartbreaking and tragic thing to go through, because the whole time you're trying to tell yourself it's not happening. I went through this, and I ended up waking up in the middle of the night and writing this song about it.

February 17, 2009: Tweets "It's 3:58 am in London.. And I accidentally fell asleep at 6:30 pm, so now I'm wide awake and have no idea what to do. Write a song?"

It’s possible that this was what Taylor was referring to when she said she “ended up waking up in the middle of the night and writing [Haunted]”, but it’s also very possible that Taylor didn’t write a song on February 17, and waking up in the middle of the night and writing a song is not a rare occurrence in Taylor’s life, so one tweet doesn’t really prove anything.

March 13, 2009: Tweets "A day off in Sydney. Drove two hours out of the city and spent the day on the beach. Wrote a chorus you'll hear on the next record. :)"

Pure speculation, but I think she was working on Mr. Perfectly Fine. It was created in 2009, and in my opinion, of the possible songs it has the most notable chorus.

March 19, 2009: Posts on Myspace “I’m wiped out. I’ve been in the studio all day ( I know, I know.. We JUST put out a new album. I think I have a problem, I cannot stop writing songs.) It’s so much fun knowing that you can take your time, because you have like a year and a half to make something you’re really proud of. I love recording a few songs, waiting a few months, recording a few more.. Instead of devoting a few weeks to “record the album” and then it’s just done. I like dragging it out, that way you can be meticulous about every detail. Daydream about different ways to put the songs together, and then take them apart. I’m pretty obsessed with the whole process. So needless to say, it was good to be back in the studio with my redheaded producer who I missed terribly.”

If This Was A Movie: April 2009 (Inferring)

Taylor has literally never talked about this song, but April would be six months after and Joe Jonas broke up in late September/early October 2008.

April 24, 2009: Taylor plays in Jonesboro, Arkansas, and possibly writes a song: "I'd get my best ideas at 3:00 AM in Arkansas, and didn't have a co-writer around and I'd just finish it. And that would happen again in New York [likely Enchanted], that would happen again in Boston [likely Long Live], that would happen again in Nashville." (x)

May 23, 2009: Taylor records Half Of My Heart with John Mayer

On March 1, 2009: John Mayer tweeted: “Waking up to this song idea that won’t leave my head. 3 days straight now. That means it’s good enough to finish. It’s called Half of My Heart and I want to sing it with Taylor Swift. She would make a killer Stevie Nicks in contrast to my Tom Petty of a song.” On May 23, John Mayer tweeted "I couldn't get Taylor Swift on my record so I found the world's greatest impersonator, Laura Jacksheimer" with a picture of Taylor.

Superman: Spring 2009 (Speculation)

This could have been written any time in 2009, but due to it's general sound and the following quote, I’d guess it was written sometime in spring, when her and John Mayer first started working together. Taylor: “This was a guy that I was sort of enamored with, as usual. This song got its title by something that I just kinda said randomly in conversation. He walked out of the room, I looked over at one of my friends and said, ‘Man, It’s just like watching Superman fly away.’”

May 29, 2009: Posts on Myspace “Tomorrow, after the performance on the Today show, I’ll fly back to Nashville and record a lot of new songs I’ve written in the last few weeks. I’m really excited about that.” (She also posts "Tonight I went shopping at Top Shop in New York with the band. I got purple shoes. I’m really excited about the purple shoes, and I just needed to tell someone. I got purple shoes. Ok. That’s done." Which. If I had a nickel for everytime Taylor teased her new album by posting about shoe colors I'd have two nickels, which isnt a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.)

June 4, 2009: Posts on Facebook "In the studio. I don't know whose computer I'm using. Pssh.. Such a rebel right now.."

June 9, 2009: Tweets (about recording Thug Story) "If I said I was in the studio with T-Pain, would you believe me?"

Better Than Revenge and Let’s Go (Battle): June 2009 (Inferring)

These were probably written sometime between June 12, when the Jonas Brothers released “Much Better”, and July 1, when Taylor posted on Myspace: “What else is new.. Recording a bunch of new songs. Lots of new things to write about…..”

Last Kiss: 2009 (Unknown)

Taylor: "The song "Last Kiss" is sort of like a letter to somebody. You say all of these desperate, hopeless feelings that you have after a breakup. Going through a breakup you feel all of these different things. You feel anger, and you feel confusion, and frustration. Then there is the absolute sadness. The sadness of losing this person, losing all the memories, and the hopes you had for the future. There are times when you have this moment of truth where you just admit to yourself that you miss all these things. When I was in one of those moments I wrote this song."

July 22, 2009: Tweets "Hanging with my producer Nathan, discussing the next adventure" and then in a separate tweet "...album #3."

August 25, 2009: An interview with Nick Buda, Taylor's go-to drummer, is posted and he says: "Sitting here in Blackbird right now in the process of starting Taylor Swift's new record I guess. We've been here the last couple days and we're here today again." Throughout the interview, you can hear If This Was A Movie playing in the background. (Thank you to @taylor-on-your-dash for finding the interview!)

Never Grow Up: Fall 2009 (Speculation)

Lover Diary Nathan Chapman: "The song 'Never Grow Up' is just she singing and I on acoustic guitar. We recorded ourselves live. That song probably happened in two hours." This could’ve been written at any time in 2009, but I put it here because she bought her Nashville apartment sometime before October.

September 8, 2009: Tweeted "Last night in nash before heading out tomorrow for 4 shows, then VMA's. But right now I can't put the guitar down."

September 13, 2009: VMAs Incident

Enchanted: September 15, 2009 (Confirmed)

On September 15, Taylor attended an Owl City Concert in New York Taylor: "It was about this guy that I met in New York City, and I had talked to him on email or something before, but I had never met him. And meeting him, it was this overwhelming feeling of: I really hope that you're not in love with somebody. And the whole entire way home, I remember the glittery New York City buildings passing by, and then just sitting there thinking, am I ever going to talk to this person again? And that pining away for a romance that may never even happen, but all you have is this hope that it could, and the fear that it never will. I started writing that in the hotel room when I got back. Because it just was this positive, wistful feeling of: I hope you understand just how much I loved meeting you. I hope that you know that meeting you was not something that I took lightly, or just in passing. And I think my favorite part of that song is the part where, in the bridge, it goes to sort of a stream of consciousness of ‘Please don't be in love with someone else/Please don't have somebody waiting on you.' Because at that moment, that's exactly what my thoughts were. And it feels good to write exactly what your thoughts were in a certain moment.”

September 26, 2009: Taylor plays in Little Rock, Arkansas, and possibly writes a song: "I'd get my best ideas at 3:00 AM in Arkansas, and didn't have a co-writer around and I'd just finish it. And that would happen again in New York [Enchanted & Back To December], that would happen again in Boston [Long Live], that would happen again in Nashville." (x)

October 17, 2009: Tweets "Travis: you look so out of it. Me: I'm writing a song in my head. Travis: oh, I apologize. I didn't realize you were working."

November 19, 2009: Bob Lefsitz (the guy from Mean) publishes his impromptu interview with Taylor:

Taylor laughed.  Said she could handle being criticized for having a bad voice, for missing notes. But she couldn’t live with being criticized for being inauthentic. Those songs are written in real time. About real people. Her cowriters edit more than contribute. Her next album she’s not planning to write with anyone. Not now, anyway.

November 30, 2009: Tweets "If I had a dime for every time my producer and I blurt out the same thing at the same time, followed by an awkward, uncoordinated high five..."

Ours: December 6, 2009 (Inferring)

Myspace Post on December 6: “I just got back to Nashville this morning after being in LA all week. Today I was out and about and in the studio all day” Taylor: "I wrote this when I was about to turn 20. I was in a relationship I knew people wouldn't approve of, and it was just a matter of time before everyone found out. When you're first getting to know someone, it's a fragile time, and then you add newspapers and magazine covers and it can get kind of rough. I wanted to have this song to play for him when it got difficult. Singing it for him was one of the sweetest moments I can remember."

December 22, 2009: Tweets "I was writing a song and my pen fell into the piano. Still trying to figure out if I should do anything about this."

January 2010: Starts polishing up the demos made in 2009 into fully produced tracks

Billboard: "Swift and Chapman had begun recording new songs almost as soon as "Fearless" was released. The two cut demos in his basement studio and would only take those songs to larger facilities once they felt they had an emotional foundation in the basic tracks. Still, it wasn’t until early 2010 when the album truly began to coalesce." Nathan Chapman: "We stripped it down and made the demos first. Taylor came to my studio and I played all the instruments on the demos, and because I have a good vocal booth, her demo vocals ended up being the vocals you hear on the record. After finishing the demos, we went out to different studios, and tried different combinations of engineers and musicians to replace some of the elements of my demos, mostly the programmed drums, and to do additional overdubs. [...] A pop artist would probably release what we'd done after five hours, but country artists don't want to hear programmed drums, they don't want to hear fake stuff. So once we had recorded the demos, we would book whatever studio we wanted for each song, to replace the drums, in many cases the bass, and to add whatever overdubs we envisioned, like fiddle, keyboards, percussion and strings. After we got the demos right, we opened it up and allowed ourselves to spend money and cut a big record." Taylor tweets on January 11: "Studio-ness with all the same boys who played on Fearless" and on January 13: "More recording. So excited. So excited. So excited. See, I said that three times. Once for every album we've made in this studio."

January 13, 2010: Posts on Myspace “Thank you January. I have had this month off. I have walked on snow-covered grass and discovered new coffee shops and laughed hysterically with friends about things that probably weren’t technically funny. I’ve written songs on napkins and sat at a giant table with my whole family on my mother’s birthday, all of us in one place for the first time in too long. I’ve gotten to take what has happened to me and process it to my full capability, and celebrate it the way it deserved to be celebrated. I’ve made new music. I’ve gone over the memories and jumped up and down with my producer and floated around with nothing on my schedule other than just appreciating what my life has somehow turned into. [...] Getting back in the studio with the same guys I trust and know and love.. (right, the pointing one: my producer Nathan Chapman) (Left, the waving one: Bass extraorinaire, Tim Marks. Clearly marked on his road case.) [...] Nick Buddha is in charge of the drums.”

February 13, 2010: Writes in her diary "I’ve been obsessing over the new album. I always do that until it’s just right. I don’t know if I have the formula just right for this one yet. I know there are great songs. I just need to figure out the strands that bond them together into a great album. And I will obsess until it’s there. This album, any album, is the next 2 years of my life. It has to be more than amazing. It has to be great enough to keep my attention for 2 years."

February 22, 2010: Posts on Myspace "I’ve been writing lots of songs"

Mine: March 10-12 2010 (Inferring)

Taylor (above interview, at 5:17): "I wrote Mine somewhere on the road, I think in Texas, actually." Nathan Chapman: "The demo for 'Mine' apparently took less than five hours to record, and sounded, according to Chapman, "almost identical to the record. After that we worked on the track for another four months, off and on, and spent $30,000 to make sure it sounded perfect in the real world."" Taylor: "This song is the first single because it has this…there was this moment between Nathan and I, my producer, when I brought this song in and when we made this demo in one day in his basement and we just kinda looked at each other and we were like, "This is it. This is the one. All of the times that I've had "The Moment" with songs of "This is the one," it's been a good call, so I'm hoping for the best on this one. Wish me luck." Scott Borchetta: "Mine" was a turning point in the album’s development. Swift and Chapman had begun recording new songs almost as soon as "Fearless" was released. The two cut demos in his basement studio and would only take those songs to larger facilities once they felt they had an emotional foundation in the basic tracks. Still, it wasn’t until early 2010 when the album truly began to coalesce. Swift presented "Mine" to Borchetta in his office [...] "We probably played that song four or five times," Borchetta recalls. "I’m jumping around playing air guitar, she’s singing the song back to me, and it was just one of those crazy, fun, Taylor teen-age moments."

March 13, 2010: Taylor records Mine, brings it to Scott Borchetta, and says she’s done with TS3

Scott Borchetta: "I said, ‘Keep going,’ [...] She kind of looked at me like, ‘You’re challenging me.’ And I said, ‘Yeah. You’ve found true north here. Keep going.’ " Taylor: “During Speak Now, when I went to (label head) Scott Borchetta and said, 'The album’s finished,’ he said, 'No, it’s not – you need to keep writing.’” (Right after playing in Texas, Taylor leaves for a vacation in the Bahamas, meaning Taylor likely had about a day in Nashville between the two trips).

Innocent: Late March 2010 (Inferring)

Billboard: “It was some time in the period after that challenge — between February and June — that Swift wrote “Innocent,” her response to the Kanye West incident.​​” Taylor: “Some songs take 30 minutes to write, and some take six months, which was the case with “Innocent.” When things affect me intensely and really hit me hard, it can take a while to figure out what I think about it and what to say about it.” (March would be just over 6 months since the VMAs).

March 24, 2010: Taylor goes lunch with Taylor Lautner and both of their publicists, inspiring Back To December.

Taylor: Swift says she based the song on a conversation she had with the guy about whom she's singing. "It's not loosely based," she says. "It's almost word-for-word. It is a song and a conversation that needed to happen, because I don't want to hurt people. If you unintentionally do so, you've got to make that better."

Speak Now: Early April, 2010 (Inferring)

On April 3, Taylor attended the wedding of Josh Farro as Hayley Williams (who is Josh's ex) plus one. That day she also tweeted: ""Nathan you smell really good! Is that a new cologne?" "Thanks! Actually it's a two in one shampoo and soap. From Dial." My producer rules." implying she was in the studio. The conversation below could have happened any day after the VMA awards in September, when Hayley first reached out to Taylor, but I think Taylor probably wrote the song fairly close to naming the album after it. Taylor: "This song was inspired by one of my friends who was telling me about her childhood sweetheart, crush guy. They were kind of together in high school and went their separate ways, and it was kind of understood that they were gonna get back together. Then, she one day comes in and tells me he's getting married. He had met this girl who was just this mean person who made him completely stop talking to all of his friends, cut off his family, had him like so completely isolated. And I just, kind of randomly, was like, "So, you gonna speak now?" She was like, "What do you mean?" And I was like "Oh, you know, like storm the church, speak now or forever hold your peace? I'll go with you. I'll play guitar. It would be great." She was just kind of laughing, and later on I just was wrapping my mind around that idea of how tragic it would be if someone you loved was marrying somebody else. Later I had a dream about one of my ex-boyfriends getting married, and it just all came together that I needed to write this song about interrupting a wedding. For me, I like to think of it as good versus evil, and this girl is so completely painted as the evil one. So this is "Speak Now.""

April 13, 2010: Names TS3 Speak Now

Lover Diaries: "So I’ve been obsessing over the new record to the point where it’s all I can focus on. I’m majorly stressed and borderline losing it, with all these lists and chronic dissatisfaction. Perfectionist-ness. I keep growing tired of songs because I know I’ve raised the bar and I can beat half the songs. Scott and I had lunch the other day. We were talking about the record and I had this epiphany. I didn’t talk in interviews about how I felt about much of what has happened in the last 2 years. I’ve been silent about so much that I’m saying on this album. It’s time to Speak Now. Scott freaked out. He loved it. We have a title, ladies and gentlemen!" Scott Borchetta: ""At one point, the record was not called ‘Speak Now.’ It was called ‘Enchanted,’ [...] We were at lunch, and she had played me a bunch of the new songs. I looked at her and I’m like, ‘Taylor, this record isn’t about fairy tales and high school anymore. That’s not where you’re at. I don’t think the record should be called "Enchanted."’” Swift excused herself from the table at that point. By the time she came back, she had the "Speak Now" title"

Dear John: Spring 2010 (Speculation)

This was likely written sometime after February 2010 (Taylor implies she's single in her vlog and her diary). Beyond that, it could have been anytime between February and June 2010.

Brief Interruption: The next two songs (Back to December and Mean) are going to use quotes from this interview that @1989worldtour found. If you've already listened to the interview attached to the Mine section, then it's the same interview

Back To December: Early May, 2010 (Inferring)

Taylor (above interview, at 5:12): "Back to December was written in New York City. Taylor was in New York city from May 3-5, and May 12-15 2010. she was not photographed in New York any other time in early 2010, and given her busy touring schedule, I doubt she was in New York at another time. USA TODAY: “Swift says she based the song on a conversation she had with the guy about whom she's singing. "It's not loosely based," she says. "It's almost word-for-word. It is a song and a conversation that needed to happen, because I don't want to hurt people. If you unintentionally do so, you've got to make that better."”

Mean: May 29, 2010 (Speculation)

Taylor (above interview, about 6 minutes in): "I started this song called Mean on my, like sitting on my kitchen counter, just playing it, and then, you know, took a plane and flew to the venue where we were gonna play that night and finished it in the dressing room." Now, this may be a too literal interpretation of "took a plane and flew to the venue where we were gonna play that night," but if we want to theorize: the only tour date (that Taylor could've conceivably written Mean during) without another show right before or after it was in Baton Rogue on May 29, 2010.

Long Live: June 2010 (Confirmed)

Lover Diary She likely wrote this around June 5, when she ended the Fearless Tour at Gillette Stadium (Wikipedia counts two festivals as being part of the Fearless Tour but Taylor doesn't, so I'm going with her opinion), since she said that she wrote a song for Speak Now in Boston (which is the closest major city to Gillette)

The Story Of Us: June 9-16, 2010 (Confirmed)

Taylor attended the CMT Awards (Which goes on to be the secret message for The Story Of Us) on June 9 and was sat very close to John Mayer. Taylor: "The people closest to me are used to me deserting a conversation and bolting into some corner of the room with my phone out, hunched over, singing some melody or lyric or hook into my phone. I wrote “The Story of Us” about running into an ex at an awards show, and I came home and sat down at a kitchen table and told my mom, “I felt like I was standing alone in a crowded room.” She tried to console me, but I was gone at that point." Lover Diary: "So I’ve been a little studio rat since the tour ended [...] Ever since, I wake up to my cell phone alarm around 9:30 each morning. Throw on a sundress, skip make up, tie my hair in a messy side braid, and head out the door with no shoes on. Because the only walking outside I’ll be doing is from my house to my car, then from my car, three steps to Nathan’s basement studio. [...] I worked on a song for a few days, then basically finished it in the car on the way to Nathan’s this morning. It. Is. So. Good. And I can safely say I am DONE writing this record!! This song is up-tempo, and hooky and sort of torn-sounding … like this horrible stressed confusion that comes on when you knew the person you’re pining away for is in the room. And for some reason, there are these invisible walls keeping things from being ok. So you’re not fine. And they’re not fine. And I’m so happy I wrote that song!! Footage of Taylor working on TSOU

June 30, 2010: Taylor tweets “@amosjheller is SLAYING a bass part in the studio right now. http://twitpic.com/21am7t” 

Footage Nathan Chapman: “We tried several bassists until we had a bass part that worked, which was played by Amos Heller, of Taylor's live band. In Nashville, it's rare for a road musician to be on the record, but he earned his way into this record by kicking ass. In fact, all Taylor's road musicians played some parts on the album, which was important for me and her.”

July 15, 2010: The orchestra for Back To December and Haunted are recorded (footage here, same outfit as these candids)

Taylor (talking about Haunted): “I wanted the music and the orchestration to reflect the intensity of the emotion the song is about, so we recorded strings with Paul Buckmaster at Capitol Studios in Los Angeles. It was an amazing experience - recording this entire big, live string section that I think in the end really captured the intense, chaotic feeling of confusion I was looking for."

And that's all for this timeline! Check out my others:

TIMELINES: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights PLAYLISTS: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights • entire discography GENERAL: tag

[thr4shit]

HELP– wait, is Lordy wearing Bob's tank top in this scene???

WAS THE QUEERCODING WAS ACTUALLY FOR A REASON?

(by Queercoding, I'm referring to Lordy's overload of gender, more "femme" presentation on stage, etc. *it might not be queercoding... but I just immediately got 'not purely straight' vibes from him :'D I don't know how else to define that.*)

It's just?? Ghgjggghm??? Boyfriends???

* not to mention, since Glam and Ches share a room, that means Bob and Lordy are sharing the other room. As the band "split two rooms amongst the four of them." because of 'budget' <- the reason their manager gave. but that means they were sharing a room. And like?? They probably CHOSE those room situations. *

( Like... I personally shipped them before my brain processed this, and now it's just like: YESSSSSSS )

Honestly, have you NOT seen the way they look at each other??? *especially Lordy to Bob.*

(There's like... a tiny frame where Lordy looks to and smiles to Bob after the whole "I don't have anything against love songs" thing, not to mention these other instances):

Lots, and lots, and LOTS of eye contact or generally showing attention to where Bob is.

And usually accompanied by smiles or smirks.

(Not to mention they always seem to group up with each other.):

*obviously this is because Ches and Glam are usually together. But even in general, Lordy doesn't seem to like to be too far away from him. At least not for long periods of time.*

And also, Bob *sort of* checking on Lordy when he falls:

He only looks away when he sees Lordy get up:

Also, them navigating together (and both being annoyed by Ches):

Either way, even if they're not canonically dating, I love them. They will forever have boyfriend/husband energy to me.

I love them so much. I hope we see more of them eventually.

It's just, like–

My boys?? 🥹

(I love feeling like I'm projecting queerness. /j :'[ I just need to see them kiss. It would make me so much happier.)

(edit: GAHHH WAIT I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THEIR YOUNGER SELVES. THEY LITERALLY CONSTANTLY LOOK FOR THE OTHER'S GUIDANCE AND OPINION [i'm tired. please just put up with it at this point. i'll touch back on this later and fix it. i'm writing the beginning of thsi edit before I pass out.] *edit: i don't even know where i was going with this... i just like them. i'm not gonna try to understand what i was thinking about at like... 1 am when i started making that edit.* )

[softie-rain]

Step On Me

Part II - The President

Pairing: Sejanus Plinth/Coriolanus Snow

Summary: “Aren't you going to tell me when you fell in love with me?” Sejanus asked with a pout. Coriolanus froze. When did Coriolanus fell in love with Sejanus? Was he ever even in love with him in the first place? Coriolanus thought he had to be, at least at some point, because how else would he explain the way Sejanus was still haunting him after all those years?

Notes: woo new chapter! This one isn't happy but it's less sad than the first one. (I'd argue the ending is. Blame Scott Street) We have a song reference in this one too, let me know if you spot it (:

chapter: 2/7 (weekly updates!) prev. chapter

read it on ao3 here

The second time Coriolanus saw Sejanus, it was two weeks after he won the elections. 

Years had passed since his times as a peacekeeper in District 12, Lucy Gray Baird now only living in the furthest abyss of his mind, no one had memory of her in the Capitol, or in the other Districts. If they even knew about her in the first place. 

He had made sure to outshine the 10th Hunger Games by working hard as a gamemaker under Dr. Gaul during the following Games. His ideas had brought new interest to them, thanks to the addition of mutts and traps all around the newly rebuilt arena. His first edition as a gamemaker, right after Lucy Gray’s games, won by the girl from District 4, was probably the one he was the most disappointed by. The only reason being that everything was still in the projecting phase, and those goddamn drones still caused trouble.

But now, five years later, as he sat at his desk in his office in the Presidential Palace, he truly felt at home. It stung that Tigris was colder to him lately, sometimes he sensed some lack of support on her side. But she was still his cousin, and he knew they’d be together till the end, no matter what.

“President Snow?” Cassia, his secretary, knocked at his door. Although president for just a few weeks, Coriolanus was already used to the title. It felt familiar, like it was meant to be. Everything he deserved, was finally his. 

“Yes?” He responded. His secretary appeared behind the door, holding a plate of cookies. 

“Ms. Plinth passed by, she brought these for you. She also told me to tell you they’re inviting you over for dinner, her and her husband.” She said, leaving the cookies on his desk. Coriolanus observed them and nodded. He knew Strabo had a terminal illness, he wouldn't give him more than over one week of life. He assumed the dinner was Ma’s idea for Coriolanus to say goodbye. 

He considered it pathetic, but he had to go anyway. What impression would he give to the people of Panem if it got known that President Snow hadn't been by Strabo Plinth’s side, a man who had given him everything and considered him a second son, in the moment of his final breath?

“I will. Thank you, Cassia.” He said, grabbing one cookie to try it. He noticed Cassia was still standing in front of him, looking rather uncomfortable. “You can go now.” He added.

“She’s still here. She’s insisting on seeing you. I know you said you don’t want to be disturbed at any hour today but-” 

“Then you already know what to tell her. Go.” Coriolanus stated, more angry than he intended. Cassia bit her lip and nodded, quickly exciting the office and closing the door behind her. 

Coriolanus sighed and leaned back on his chair, passing his hand through his hair. He gave another bite to the cookie, quietly moaning at the taste. Ma’ Plinth might have been a sad pathetic woman (even more so as she aged), but her cooking was still as delicious as ever. 

“Coriolanus Snow, President of Panem.” Coriolanus almost choked on the cookie upon hearing the voice. He immediately got up, looking around the room. Like that night of many years ago Sejanus appeared in the corner. He was leaning on the wall right next to the window, observing Coriolanus. “I always knew you were going to get far. Even before the Academy, I would look at you and think ‘Man, this kid will do big things.’”

Sejanus was talking to him with an admiring tone, sounding almost proud of him, as if he was his mother. And, to be fair, it wasn’t far off from what Ma’ had told Coriolanus right after he was nominated President. The boy walked over to him and sat on his desk, looking at the cookies. “Can I? It’s been ages since I’ve eaten one.”

Without responding Coriolanus nodded. Sejanus leaned forward to grab one and as he did so Coriolanus took a good look at his neck. The bruises of the rope were still there, as fresh as ever, like the hanging day had been just the day before, as if no time had passed at all. 

“You seem surprised to see me.” 

Coriolanus raised an eyebrow surprised, gesturing to Sejanus. “Shouldn't I be?”

Sejanus shrugged and shifted on the desk, sitting with his legs crossed. “I visited you once already.” 

“Yeah, when I was nineteen.”

“And now you’re twenty four! Where did the time go? You look just as handsome though. Maybe even a bit more now.” Sejanus leaned in, winking at him. Coriolanus felt himself lightly blush and immediately shook his head, trying to recompose himself.

“And you look just as dead.” Coriolanus bit back, ignoring the effect Sejanus still had on him. When was he going to grow out of his stupid crush? He had finally realized and admitted to himself that he liked Sejanus years ago now, not shortly after his first post-death visit actually, and he thought he was over it. So why did he still make him act like he was twelve again, blushing for a compliment or for the slightest sign of affection by his side?

It made him feel weak, powerless. All that time and Sejanus still had such a strong hold on him. It made him wonder of his time in District 12, how Sejanus had always had that effect on him. Was all the power he felt over the boy just an illusion? Obviously not, or he wouldn’t have sent the recording to Dr. Gaul.

“I’m glad to see the guilt isn’t eating you alive anymore.” Sejanus said, sounding sincere. Coriolanus hated him. 

“It’s not.”

“Good. You look happy now.” He said, tilting his head. “Are you?”

Coriolanus frowned. “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“You tell me, I asked the question.”

“Well, I am.” Coriolanus replied, shifting on his chair and crossing his arms. “So no need for you to be here.” He dismissed him, waving his hand at him.  

“I'm not your secretary Coryo, you can't just tell me to leave.” Sejanus said, as if it was a matter of fact. “I didn't decide to be here, you know?”

“Right, because my mind made you up, or whatever.” Coriolanus said, rolling his eyes, leaning his elbow on the desk and resting his hand on his palm. 

“That's one rational explanation, yes. Or maybe I'm a spirit and I lied to you.” Sejanus said in a neutral tone, crossing his legs on Coriolanus’ desk. 

The blonde boy frowned as the other's shoes dirty the surface and then looked up at him again. Sejanus was staring down at him smiling, and Coriolanus found himself missing his curly hair. Truly it had been a shame he died with his head shaved. He would have loved to see his hair one more time. 

Coriolanus had given up on trying to find a rational explanation for Sejanus’ first apparition, and he wasn't certainly going to start trying to find one for the second. 

Coriolanus cleared his throat and gestured around himself. “So you're proud of what I achieved?” He asked, smiling proudly. “Pretty great, isn't it?” 

Sejanus grimaced. “You did big things, that's for sure. But great? I wouldn't say that.” He said, sadness in his voice.

Coriolanus couldn't say he was surprised, though he felt disappointed. He expected Sejanus to congratulate him on what he'd done, but after all he knew his morals: Sejanus could have never been happy for Coriolanus when all he had done was making the tributes’ lives even more miserable. But he had also come up with the idea of the Winners Village in every district, and what about the money for the winners? Also Coryo's idea. Couldn't Sejanus for once be content with the lesser evil? 

“Well, I didn’t ask for your approval.”

“Yeah, I assumed you didn't when you turned me in.” Sejanus said laughing, as if he had just made the funniest joke. 

Tigris would call him resentful and here he had Sejanus still holding grudges of something that happened almost six years ago. 

Coriolanus scoffed and looked down at the documents he was examining before he got interrupted by Cassia, ignoring Sejanus’ eyes on him. He felt the boy shift next to him. Sejanus got up and started pacing the room, observing his surroundings. “Oh, look at this! It's beautiful! And fancy.” He said, pointing at the portrait they made of Coriolanus on his second day as President. 

Although Coriolanus hadn't exactly been euphoric to pose for that painting, he had to admit it was rather flattering to have it in his office. Every time he looked at it, every time anyone looked at his portrait could recognize the power Snow held. The hard and proud look he was represented with did him justice, so much that his secretary and most of his employees would on purpose avoid the painting when they entered the room. In Coriolanus’ eyes it was perfect: feared and respected by everyone.

But Sejanus was standing there, quietly, with his hands crossed behind his back, observing the painting with a smile on his face.

“I like it. Except for the eyes, they don't do you justice.”

Coriolanus scowled, trying not to snap at Sejanus. “Why so?” 

Sejanus turned to face his Coriolanus and his smile widened. “Yours are much more blue.” He told him, looking at him with those lovesick brown orbs Coriolanus worshiped. 

“Did I ever tell you when I realized I was in love with you?” Sejanus asked, walking up to Coriolanus. Coriolanus shook his head no.

“I'm afraid you died before you could.” He replied sarcastically.

Sejanus nodded. “Ah. True. Well, we have time now don't we?” He said excitedly, jumping on the desk again. Coriolanus sighed and pushed his papers aside, knowing it was useless to even just try and tell Sejanus to go away.

“We were fifteen.” He started, looking up. Coriolanus didn't know if it was to avoid his look, but his own eyes were fixated on Sejanus’ face.

“I've always known I liked you, since I first saw you. You looked so adorable, with those rosy cheeks and blonde curls!”

Sejanus smiled widely, and Coriolanus couldn't help but lightly blush at the thought of the Plinth boy being head over heels for him at such a young age, complimenting him like that. 

He also found himself getting used to the odd happiness and calm that seemed to be characteristics of post mortem Sejanus.

“Anyway, this day in particular we were at school,” He kept going, “And Festus was talking behind my back. I mean, I could perfectly hear him. I'm not sure if he meant for me to hear or not, actually. I never thought about it.” Sejanus commented, more to himself than to Coriolanus. 

Coriolanus rolled his eyes and cleared his throat, gesturing Sejanus to go on. 

“As I was saying, Festus was making fun of me. And then he said, I remember this clearly as if it was yesterday: ‘I think he should be repead for the next Games. That way he'd learn his place!’” Coriolanus gulped. He could see the hurt on Sejanus’ face. So many years had passed and he was clearly still affected by it. He wasn't sure if he could blame Sejanus (or accusing him of being pathetic) for that, though he usually would.

Even to Coriolanus, with that comment Festus had overstepped a line. 

“I remember running away, trying not to cry. Which I did, eventually, but only when I got to the bathroom. Which is when you found me.” Sejanus said, pointing at Coriolanus. 

“You knocked at the stall where I was hiding and asked me if I was alright. I lied, said I was fine.” Sejanus let out a laugh and shook his head. “You knew I was lying. So you insisted and kept knocking, until I opened the door and got out. And that's when I saw them.” 

Coriolanus frowned, confused. “Saw what?” 

“Ocean blue eyes, looking in mine. I felt like I might sink and drown, and die.” He replied, staring at Coryo. “You saw me crying and hugged me, no questions asked. Your hand touched mine, and that's when I knew. That I was utterly and desperately in love with you.” 

Coriolanus remembered that day. He had immediately followed Sejanus because he had assumed he had gone crying. Assumption that was confirmed when he heard the sobs in the bathroom. Truthfully he had rolled his eyes and sighed before knocking on the door, getting annoyed when Sejanus pretended to be fine. 

When he finally came out of the bathroom the site before Coriolanus was pretty pathetic: Sejanus had red and puffy eyes, he kept sniffing with his lips parted, how could he say he was fine when he looked like that?

The hug seemed like the only rational option to Coriolanus to put Sejanus out of his misery, an act of mercy. Apparently it had meant much more to him than Snow thought. Still, he didn’t see any reason to break the news to the boy, so he didn’t say anything about it.

“You’re welcome?” He said instead, which sounded more as a question than a statement. At least it earned a laugh from Sejanus. 

The Plinth boy kept staring at him lovingly without saying anything, and Coriolanus was starting to feel rather uncomfortable. He went back to study his documents, clearing his throat trying to stop his voice from breaking when he spoke. “Well now that you’ve told me your sob story you can leave, right?” 

His voice was cold, he had already shown his weak side to Sejanus last time, he wasn’t going to repeat the scene once more. Although he would have loved to feel the warmth of his hugs one more time. He despised that feeling, the one he always had around Sejanus, of caring, of attachment. Why couldn't he let him go? Why was it so hard, if he wanted to so badly?

“Aren't you going to tell me when you fell in love with me?” Sejanus asked with a pout. 

Coriolanus froze. When did Coriolanus fall in love with Sejanus? Was he ever even in love with him in the first place? Coriolanus thought he had to be, at least at some point, because how else would he explain the way Sejanus was still haunting him after all those years?

But when, that was very blurry.

He never really thought about it and even now, he didn't think there was a specific moment. In Coriolanus’ eyes Sejanus had just always been there, and the blonde's feelings just kept swinging back and forth from hatred to love. Whether said affection was platonic or romantic had never been the main focus of Coryo, who simply would try and go on with life fighting the urge to either slap or kiss some sense into Sejanus.

Uh.

Maybe the feelings had never been platonic.

Either way, he wasn't going to tell Sejanus any of that.

“Do you really want me to go?” Sejanus finally asked, tilting his head. 

He didn't seem upset or sad about it, it was a simple genuine question. One to which Coriolanus didn't know the answer to. “Yes.” He replied, looking down at his papers. But was it really what he wanted? What he needed? 

“But I'm assuming you won't listen to me will you?” He added looking up, only to find out he was once again alone, as he had always been for the past five years.

He went back to write notes on the documents, pushing away in the deep bottom of his mind the feeling of longing for Sejanus. 

In his head he could hear an echo, that he desperately ignored, and that sounded too much like Sej.

“Anyway, don't be a stranger.” 

[dustedmagazine]

Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention — Whisky-A-Go-Go 1968 (Zappa Records/UMe)

Photo by George Rodriguez

In late July 1968, Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention brought a three-ring circus to Los Angeles’s Whisky-A-Go-Go nightclub. They had some history at the club. They had played there early in their careers, but by this point they were an established act: they’d toured Europe, released four records and Zappa was in the process of starting his own record label. This July evening was a showcase not just for the Mothers, then, but also for acts he’d signed: The GTOs, a group of singers who doubled as groupies, street musician Wild Man Fisher and Alice Cooper. The show was recorded for possible release.

That album never materialized in Zappa’s lifetime, but some 56 years later this evening’s events are here on Whisky-A-Go-Go 1968. It’s not the full night, just the Mothers sets, boiling down a five-hour show to just under three.

As far as live Zappa albums go, Whisky-A-Go-Go 1968 is a mixed bag. There's moments where Zappa guitar shows him growing into a compelling soloist and there’s few songs here that never made it onto a previous Zappa record. But when compared to something like The Ark or Ahead of Their Time, this never quite gels: there's a sense of hesitation or maybe the band wasn’t having a good night. It’s interesting and occasionally really good, but it’s not as exciting as you might hope.

The first half of the set wavers between free-form jams and the Mothers goofing on 1950s doo wop: “Oh In the Sky,” “Memories of El Monte,” “My Boyfriend’s Back.” Zappa did have a genuine admiration for this kind of music, but between Roy Estrada’s strangled falsetto and Zappa’s deadpan delivery on these, it’s hard not to read these as the Mothers goofing around. It’s definitely more for hardcore fans. The improvisations are fine, too, with the little flourishes that pop up on Mothers records: stomping rhythms, vocal shouts, harsh bursts of sounds.

Some moments you had to be there for. “Della’s Preamble” incorporates audience participation that doesn’t come through on record. During moments of jamming you can hear shouts and yells and Zappa calling people up on the stage to dance. There’s even a bit where he’s presented with a pair of wings.

As the first set winds down, the band starts to stretch out on instrumentals and flex their muscles. “King Kong” has some wild blowing from the band’s brass section and lets both Zappa and Preston stretch out for solos before the band deftly segues into Edgard Varese’s “Octandre” and more improvisations.

The second set is more focused on the Mothers instrumental side: two takes of “The Duke” (actually an early version of “Little House I Used To Live In,” not the similarly named “Duke of Prunes'') that have Zappa taking completely different guitar solos, then the band moves into “Khaki Sack.” It’s a loose R&B groove with lots of room for solos, showing the band’s chops extended to far more than just goofy rock pastiches. Then the band moves into a lengthy performance of “The Whip,” where Zappa’s guitar playing takes on a nice psychedelic tinge, before the band moves on into some extended jamming for “Whisky Chouflee.” Finally, the disc ends with a nice treat: the first live performance of “Brown Shoes Don’t Make It,” from 1967’s Absolutely Free. It’s a little rough and the way it jumps around exposes some of this group’s limitations on stage, but the band pulls it together when they go back to the theme on “Brown Shoes Shuffle.”

In some ways, it’s best to compare this to 1974’s Roxy and Elsewhere, another live record that was recorded basically like an on-stage recording session. There, Zappa played several shows with the same set list with the intent of editing the best bits together for a live record; it’s similar to the approach Zappa refers to on here occasionally. But that project never materialized in his lifetime. One small excerpt came out on Uncle Meat, another on You Can’t Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 5. Was he unhappy with this session? It’s impossible to say at this point. But this set documents a pretty significant occasion for the band, both as a homecoming and as a nice audio document of this group. Indeed, there’s not much live material from this early in Zappa’s career, let alone in this high quality sound.

Hardcore Zappa fans should consider Whisky-A-Go-Go 1968 an instant buy, but more casual ones may find the first half a little bulky. Those who enjoy the live bits of albums like Burnt Weeny Sandwich or Weasels Ripped My Flesh will find a lot to dig into here.

Roz Milner

[presidenthades]

Once again, I am doing a series of my behind-the-scenes thoughts for The Golds while I do light edits for formatting, typos, and continuity. Here’s Chapter 6!

For this chapter’s title, I chose to reference the Stranger because of the fear for Jace’s life throughout the chapter. But there are no lyrics for the Stranger in “The Song of the Seven” because, as Sam Tarly says in ASOIAF, “no one sings of the Stranger.” Hence the placeholder: (The Stranger has no songs). And, at the end of the chapter, Jace tells Aegon that she wants no more songs.

Like Chapter 3, this chapter has no scene breaks since it is essentially one long scene during one day. In Chapter 3, there’s a mystery while Jace is trying to figure out what Aegon has been up to, then in Chapter 4 we find out the truth. Here it’s reversed: we already know from Chapter 5 what happened to Jace, but now we’re following Aegon as he tries to figure out where she is.

The chapter starts with Aegon having a normal morning. We see he’s developed the habit of helping his wife dress, and his knowledge of her gown, shoes, and hairpin is useful in his investigation later.

The irony of Aegon and Jace’s last dialogue before they separate! Turns out it’s not Aegon we have to worry about missing the lunch meeting 😢.

Aegon is of the opinion there’s nothing wrong with a little brawl between boys (he and Aemond still brawl on occasion). TBH he probably would’ve kept moving if he didn’t know any of the boys, but because he knows Ronnel, he intervenes. Also, since Aegon pays Gyles, Gyles and Ronnel are part of Aegon’s household (although Gyles makes pies for pretty much everyone who asks), so there’s some of that feudal responsibility where a lord takes care of his people.

Ronnel is basically the new kid at school, and the other servant boys don’t like him because they perceive favoritism from Aegon (which there is). I’m sure the castle staff have some kind of hierarchy that factors in things like tenure, and suddenly Ronnel and his dad show up going “milord Aegon” in what the others deem an overly familiar way. Gyles’s pies are very in demand among other highborns at the castle, which means Gyles’s standing quickly rises (and Ronnel by proxy), so the boys are envious of Ronnel’s good fortune. And most of the servants are from the Crownlands, so the boys are quick to pick on Ronnel’s Vale background.

Gyles is around 30 (Aegon is 18) and from a very different background, so it would be difficult for them to be true friends in a society that places so much emphasis on class and wealth. But they’re at least friendly because they’ve known each other for so long, and Aegon has been thinking a lot more about fatherhood. Gyles is one of the few men he personally knows who seems to have a healthy relationship with his son, so I feel like Aegon has asked Gyles a few questions about fatherhood prior to this chat in Chapter 6. The convo about Gyles’s wife foreshadows some of the issues Jace wrestles with in the coming chapters (although she has a much happier resolution), and it’s definitely on Aegon’s mind while he helps her through the aftermath.

Aegon’s little detective business just kind of happened. Probably started with one of the former captives at the warehouse asking for help related to the Tyroshi, and it snowballed from there as word spread around the city that “hey, if you have a problem, Prince Aegon might help you out.” Of course Aegon would prefer not to get the boring problems (I keep imagining BBC’s Sherlock only taking interesting cases), but he puts up with them because the smallfolk are very enthusiastic with their gratitude—and Jace likes it when he helps people, which is probably the bigger incentive.

The innkeeper disapproving of his daughter’s elopement is supposed to parallel Daemon disapproving of Jace’s elopement, so Aegon is inclined to sympathize with the young couple instead of the father (again, the theme of smallfolk and highborns being essentially the same, just with more or less money). AND the daughter is pregnant, so Aegon is envisioning what he and Jace would want in that scenario. Also, Aegon specifically buys a goat as a wedding present because it’s just about one of the most useful things a peasant could have. The goat is relatively inexpensive to maintain and feed, and it provides milk and some wool. And it can be marked with ownership, so it’s harder for a jealous neighbor to steal than a sack of coins. (This is my amateur understanding of goats, I know very little about goat husbandry.)

I’m probably going to write a chapter from Liane’s POV in my smallfolk anthology. She’s a very smart girl who was born into poverty, can’t read (hence the X she signs on the contract) but has a good head for business. For a poor prostitute in this society, the most common career paths are either a) keep being a prostitute forever, b) repent and join the Faith as a septa, or c) become a brothel owner. Liane has been working on option C for a while, and she sees the opportunity to buy the building she works in when Aegon shows no interest in the Garden. He also doesn’t take a cut of their earnings, so she’s able to save up faster the next few months. I like to think that because she’s worked side by side with the other girls so long, she’ll be a good manager to them rather than let the authority go to her head. And the influx of money that Aegon sends them after they help Jace significantly improves living conditions, to the point that Liane might even be able to change it from a brothel to a different establishment.

But the most important point of the scene: Aegon sows good karma by selling the Garden to Liane for dirt cheap (1 groat = 4 pennies), and it pays dividends that very day when Jace needs help.

Rhaenyra mentions in the Handbook that Luce had quite a few childhood fears, including storms, which she still secretly has. I gave this fear to Luce because I was thinking about the canonical Storm’s End chase scene and how that would be even more harrowing with a fear of storms. Now I also realize there’s some symbolism because Cassandra Baratheon is one of the Four Storms ⛈️.

In Chapter 4, Aegon is quick to distract himself when he starts thinking about the baby and being a father. Here, he purposefully lingers on thoughts about fatherhood as he observes Daemon interacting with Alyssa; Aegon is making progress coming to terms with being a father.

Sorry not sorry but I love the imagery of short Lucera wearing Aemond’s big coat 🥰. She’s soaked after flying on Arrax in the rain, and he probably makes some snarky comments about how unkempt she looks while he wraps the coat around her. (Meanwhile Rhaenys is off to the side like “OK ignore me, I’m just an old lady, thanks.”)

There is some irony that Aegon sneaks out alone to the city all the time and deliberately gets in trouble but is always fine, while the one time Jace leaves the castle during her pregnancy, the worst happens.

Aemond thinks Aegon is being panicked and reckless (which he is), but Aemond follows him anyway because a) that’s his brother even if he’s kind of a dumbass sometimes and b) Aemond knows he’s the only person who can keep up with Aegon right now 🥲.

Bethany is in a heckload of pain right now, and it would be her right to demand a maester’s attention before her own wounds worsen/get infected, but she cares about Floris so she makes sure Floris isn’t alone at the end 😢.

Aegon’s threat to feed the madam’s brother to Sunfyre and make her watch is indeed a reference to a certain canon event… 👀

Aegon has definitely done his homework on the Tyroshi since he spent a while trying to catch him. I might flesh out the guy’s backstory in a future fic, but I imagine him to be from one of Tyrosh’s ruling families (the archon is chosen from a conclave of the richest families in Tyrosh). I had to make up a name based on the naming patterns of other Tyroshi characters GRRM created.

Throughout this chapter, Aemond serves as the voice of reason and is able to quickly refute many of Aegon’s arguments because he knows how Aegon thinks. Admittedly, Aemond would act a lot like Aegon right now if Luce were the one in trouble—but then Aegon would be the one knocking sense into Aemond into that scenario. The brothers are more similar than they like to admit.

Bethany is very angry at Elinor, understandably so. Bethany did her duty and came to Jace’s defense, and she almost died for it—plus she’s aware that her face is never going to look the same again. Meanwhile Elinor abandoned their mistress and did absolutely nothing to help anybody, and she’s perfectly fine (for now). I don’t think Elinor was thinking at all about her crush on Aegon at the time, but Bethany really wants to make her words hurt and ensure that Elinor doesn’t come away completely unscathed. Definitely not friends anymore.

As I’ve said before, book!Aegon has excellent zingers, and TGC says Aegon has an eye for people’s weak spots. Here, Aegon deliberately says one of the most hurtful things he could possibly say to a girl who likes him: “you’re worse than a dog.” 💀 (I can’t blame him though.)

Despite the circumstances, Westerosi values are pretty engrained into Aegon, so he feels like he can’t lay hands on a highborn girl like Elinor, whereas he wouldn’t hesitate to beat a man into a pulp. So he hands (pun not intended) Elinor to Rhaenyra, because the optics of a mother/another woman punishing Elinor are much less bad, and he’s confident Rhaenyra will make it hurt. (And he forces Elinor to personally tell Rhaenyra what she did. Oof!)

Book!Aegon is capable of immense cruelty, especially after he’s been wronged (I’m hoping we see that in S2). I wanted to channel that here when he punishes Edwyn Pyle. First he unofficially puts Edwyn on trial, with Aegon as judge and jury, and makes Edwyn sweat as he confesses everything he did wrong. Of course Aegon deems him guilty, and part of him would like to kill Edwyn personally. But Aegon also thinks the other guards need to be punished for blindly obeying orders (we can argue whether this is fair to the guards, but Aegon doesn’t care about being fair right now), so he includes them in Edwyn’s punishment. I was inspired by the Roman practice of decimation, where if an entire group of soldiers (usually groups of 10) needs to be punished, one of them is randomly selected and the others beat him to death. Aegon makes the other guards take turns beating Edwyn so they never forget their failure (and if they mess up again, next time it might be them being beaten to death), and it adds extra burn to Edwyn’s death because he’s being beaten by the very men he was ordering around. (And yes, Edwyn does end up dying after 12 hours of this.)

Although I just said Aegon is capable of immense cruelty, he is arguably “nicer” than Aemond 😅. In F&B, Aegon shows mercy to Gaemon Palehair and agrees to knight Trystane Truefyre before execution, neither of which he needed to do. Compare to Aemond, who slaughters all of House Strong including the toddlers and burns tf out of the Riverlands 😐. Neither of them is really nice though, let’s be real.

A younger Daemon would’ve been out searching on the streets too, but he is sadly no longer a young man. Instead he’s been playing spymaster at the Red Keep, and it pays off. The old man who has info about the hay wagon goes to a brothel in Mysaria’s network, and she sends word to Daemon. The show has made Mysaria a populist, so I think she approves of Jace’s attempts to help the people of KL. And I’m sure Mysaria has heard about Aegon’s detective services, so overall she’s inclined to help find Jace.

A wagon, two mules, and pile of good hay are worth way more than a little rowboat, hence the old man’s eagerness to trade and disinclination to ask too many questions.

Kites have been used in warfare for many centuries. When you have dragonriders, you need to be able to signal them somehow, and I feel like kites would be a pretty good solution for that. Now that there are so many adult dragonriders in KL, someone (probably Corlys or Daemon) suggested incorporating the kite system for emergencies such as this. The gold cloaks were notably incompetent during Chapter 4, but I think the Targs have whipped them back into shape during the last few months.

Luce is honestly not in much danger at all on dragonback, with only one “enemy” on the ground. But Aemond worries anyway 😛. (Aegon’s been in a state all day, some of it probably wore off on Aemond.)

When Aegon asks “where is she,” the Tyroshi realizes they haven’t found Jace. He knows there’s no way he’s escaping now, so he decides to drag out Aegon’s torment as much as he can before he’s inevitably executed.

Aemond reacts very strongly to Aegon digging into the Tyroshi’s mutilated eye because…uh…well, the eye thing 👁️👄⚫️. Aemond has zero sympathy for the guy but he’s probably getting some secondhand pain watching it happen.

I actually do think Jace saw Arrax while Luce was flying out, but she had no way of signaling Arrax, and it was too dark/high for Luce to spot Jace in the trees 🙁. Jace probably thought about trying to follow Arrax, but she had no idea when/where Arrax would land (and a dragon is much faster than her on foot), so she continued onward to the city.

Contrary to common belief, House Hightower’s sigil colors do NOT include green! It’s a white tower with orange flames on a gray field. That’s why Alicent’s necklace is white gold and amber. I imagine it as a necklace from when she was a girl (long before her green era), and she gave it to Jace shortly after the elopement.

The guards who refused to listen to Liane are probably due for some very arduous training drills once the Targs have the bandwidth to pay attention to them 😬.

The Liane chapter I mentioned above will probably cover in more detail what happens when Jace shows up at the Garden. I imagine that once the girls realize Jace is in fact the missing princess, they kick out all their customers so they can focus on her.

Jace has a big problem with people touching her in the next chapter, but right now she’s still in shock, so she lets one of the girls comb her hair. The Garden girls have never interacted with anyone as high society as Jace before, but they’re offering the best hospitality they can: dragging out a clean mattress and blankets, building the fire as hot as they can (firewood ain’t free), giving her clothes (they don’t have much that’ll fit a heavily pregnant woman but they try), scrubbing Jace’s muddy shift.

Jace being soundly refused help from the other shopkeepers shocks and hurts her a lot. She’s spent her entire life being recognized instantly because she’s a princess. But the smallfolk have only ever seen her from a distance, if at all, and she would’ve been dressed in royal finery, like during her wedding day. Now she’s only wearing her shift and one shoe, and her hair (which is black instead of a distinctive Valyrian silver) is a mess. Usually the only people who walk around in public in their smallclothes are whores, so the shopkeepers take one look at her and assume she’s a whore. Meanwhile the girls at the Garden are at the bottom of society, so they know what it’s like to need help but be scorned by everyone else. They don’t believe Jace’s identity at first, but she’s a pregnant woman in desperate need of help, so they let her inside because they’ve been in similar straits before.

This is a turning point in Aegon’s journey to fatherhood. His concern most of the day was about Jace, but when he feels Cheeseball move for the first time, it suddenly strikes him that the baby is not just an extension of Jace, as he’s been thinking so far. This is the moment when Aegon realizes he loves the baby because it’s his child, not just because it’s part of Jace.

Luce has been away for six months, but she grew up with Jace. She immediately clocks that Jace isn’t going to be entirely OK. Aegon also knows this deep down, but he’s desperately hoping for the best so he’s acting like it’s only a physical thing.

Rhaenyra picked a very poetic punishment for Elinor. Elinor loses her dominant hand, which she used to push Jace, but it’s also the hand that made her excel as a LIW because many of Elinor’s talents, like hairstyling, lay in the dexterous use of her hands. But even if Elinor were ever welcome at court again, she wouldn’t be able to reclaim a similar position. The loss of her hand also takes down her marriageability a lot, if the dishonor weren’t enough. I also imagine Aunt Elinda had a lot to say to Elinor 😬.

Alicent doesn’t know how to comfort Aegon (and he probably doesn’t want it right now), so she defaults into “hostess” mode (the queen is basically hostess of the entire castle/court) by making sure he and Jace have their physical needs taken care of.

Jace spent many hours alone in the woods, so she had a lot of time to think about what happened that day. She’s already begun internalizing her guilt about her ladies’ deaths, and how her pregnancy led to them being in the Sept. She feels like she shouldn’t celebrate the baby when her ladies/friends have died because of it. And the Tyroshi talked about how people sing about Jace and Aegon, hence Jace’s temporary aversion to songs. So Aegon’s first attempt at helping her back to “normalcy” fails—but as we see in future chapters, he figures out another way.

Chapter 7 commentary here

[mieldreams]

Payal playbacks

This is the reference sheet/moodboard for Payal

A/n: This is sort of the things i had in mind when writing, off the top of my head, so i might edit this later if i remember more

and if there's anything more you'd want to know just ask :)

• The song that reader, Manu and Pari danced to: https://youtu.be/VRRnuJph8kQ • I sort of imagined reader to have the same outfit as the woman in the music video wearing the sleeveless top, but really you can imagine anything just look up 'navratri ghagras'

• The song that was the big dance number (with the reader but Manu wasn't in it) : https://youtu.be/vK5E_aeBGYA

• The choreography I imagined for it was more like a mix of dis tho: https://youtu.be/oghn6E4ibJ8 https://youtu.be/aHeIJwgNqEY again you can imagine anything really, what's important is that reader has that classic 'all eyes on you girl' moment (or at least the only eyes that matter ;) )

Dictionary: In case anyone isn't familiar with some terms and wants to know without having to search: • ghagra - a long full skirt, often decorated with embroidery, mirrors, or bells. The top you wear along with it is called choli, so the whole set (top and skirt) is called ghagra-choli but sometimes just ghagra for short.

• gulab jamun - an Indian sweet consisting of a ball of deep-fried paneer boiled in a sugar syrup.

• payal - anklet

• dandiya - socio-religious folk dance originating from Indian state of Gujarat and popularly performed in the festival of Navaratri.

participants use small wooden sticks called "dandiyas" to rhythmically strike each other's sticks in pairs, while dancing in a circle. (do y'all want ref video to what i had in mind? what AJ and reader are gonna do? wink wink)

• kurta - a loose collarless shirt worn by people from South Asia.

Ani's wearing a black (shimmery) one cuz it's the desi equivalent of a formal black shirt with sleeves folded over the forearms (i mean just look at this) but i imagined how he actually wore it as this one

[fists-on-up]

My Thoughts on the Loie Fuller + Taylor Swift Connection (Part 2)

This part will be a bit more speculative and subjective than the last, but I think both are important to examine. In this part I want to discuss where I think Taylor's interest in, and dedication to, Loie came from and how I believe she has shown this influence beyond the Reputation Tour.

ORIGINS, MAYBE?

I think that really understanding human nature is fundamental to being a good writer. If a character is going to do or say something, it has to make sense and feel organic. The better aligned with that character's past, values, and intentions something is, the more real it feels. Humans are very predictable creatures, really, and our options for actions or responses to any given thing are much fewer than we realize. Being good at making fictional choices make sense often makes you good at recognizing when real-world actions or statements don't.

It becomes this kind of background process that's always running, and when someone says or does something "off", you feel it. It's not unlike recognizing subverted rhyme. The foundation is laid, you know what the word will be, and when it's subverted, it's obvious. It makes it easy to sort of reverse-engineer someone's motivations, also. If situation A or B would result in saying X or Y but they said Z, A or B could not have really happened and situation C is more likely true. It's hard to explain, but it has as much to do with what people do not say or do as it does what they do. It's a huge part of the reason I ended up in the gaylorverse.

So how might a singer/songwriter and pop star who started in country music come to dedicate a very telling song to a little-known lesbian dancer who lived in Paris a hundred years ago? (Who fled to Paris, even, literally because the culture was clever?)

Maybe because she was very in love with a dancer who also loves Paris.

A while back in my journey down the gaylor rabbit hole I came across this video of Karlie backstage of the 2014 VSFS. I'm not sure if it's a rehearsal, or if it was on the day, but at the time I saved it because it's adorable.

(recall the quote from the excerpt in Part 1 that stated Loie played a "hide-and-seek illusionist game" with the audience. All eyes on you, my magician, all eyes on me, your illusionist, etc.)

Some months later, I came across this video. I'm not sure if this was another take, if this was a rehearsal, or if it was edited but the televised version of this walk we all know so very well does not include this very Loie Fuller-esque flourish Karlie does at the end of the runway.

For reference, here is a portion of Loie Fuller's Butterfly Dance.

Can I say for sure that Karlie introduced Loie Fuller and her history to Taylor Swift? Nope. Nothing is impossible. But it sure seems to me that one of them introduced her to the other, and it seems more likely it would have started with Karlie. I'd expect a gay ballerina to have a greater knowledge of Loie's history than Taylor just as I'd expect Taylor to have a greater knowledge of, say, Melissa Ethridge, than Karlie. And if this is the case, the dedication to Loie could have been a sort of vicarious dedication to Karlie.

BUTTERFLY DANCE / SERPENTINE DANCE

Of course it's applicable as fuck that the two dances Loie Fuller was known for were the Butterfly Dance & Serpentine Dance. Especially considering the association between Karlie Kloss & butterflies since, well, the presumed beginning of her involvement in all of this.

But it gets much more interesting leading up to Reputation when several things happen and Taylor ends up embracing the title of "snake".

It's always a bad idea to pin a label on a girl who's been told who she has to be her entire life. That's not going to go well. But Dear Reader, if you're young this is absolutely the best way to respond to bullies. They want you to fight back. They don't know what to do when you gleefully make it you're entire personality and thank them for it.

If you follow me on TikTok or Twitter, you probably know that I think Taylor was sabotaged from coming out not only in 2019, but before Reputation. I think that was the purpose of whatever album "Karma" would have been and I don't see any other reason why an album would be scrapped entirely.

So presumably we have this knowledge of Loie Fuller, Karlie's association with the butterfly and now Taylor's association with the snake, and I think this is exactly where all of this emerges. It's all so serendipitous, and as a poet I can confirm we sure do love that shit.

I think in a way Loie Fuller and the true reason behind her artistic choices became a way to sort of romanticize closeting. It wasn't forced, it was a magic trick. It wasn't torture, it was a game. If you have to do it anyway, you might as well approach it in a way that makes you hate it a little less. It gives you a sense of control. If you can't make it stop, make it *art*.

And this continues into the Lover era in such a beautiful way. To my knowledge, that's the first introduction of The Crest. And you will never convince me that's not a snake in the shape of an S and a butterfly in the shape of a K. The entire crest is for the Lover. I seriously doubt she used both to represent herself, despite the use of fluffy imagery during the era.

I think Taylor does cover up self interest with a thin (and messy) layer of allyship, but I think it's also true that her inability to honor the one person she wants to honor often makes her look like she only cares about herself. Another example of this is the montage of sweet clips in Miss Americana that are just... all Taylor. The "someone" she had fallen in love with is never shown. Likewise the Rep attic movies in the Lover music video are all Taylor. Because she couldn't make them all the muse like she wanted.

It must really fucking suck to always look like something you're not, but I digress.

I'm adding this depiction of snakes & butterflies mostly because in looking for what I wanted to include here I noticed something about this back tattoo I'd never noticed and I've never seen anyone else talk about - there are two snakes. It's not a snake bursting into butterflies like the beginning of ME!, it's two district snakes with different patterns coiled around one another.

Perhaps two "snakes in the grass" were meant to finally fly free. I'm not sure if that's what it means, but I had a good cry about it anyway.

Of course after the Lover era and the absolute clusterfuck that came with it, it's understandable that everything wasn't sunshine and rainbows anymore.

But one thing that did remain was the crest. We see it again in the Evermore photo shoot, albeit behind glass which I'm sure is a coincidence.

But even now, the crest remains relevant. It pops up again in Anti-Hero, when Taylor's glittery insides are exposed and she ruins her friends' dinner trying to cover it up. Then she tries to drink from a wine bottle with the crest on it, but fails because it's empty.

Once she's OUT of the house, however, a similar wine bottle is able to be drank.

The crest was even in the Apple Music experience thing a couple of months ago, both on the stained glass found in the Lover House, but on the "a message in a bottle" bottle.

Although I do think the crest itself is a symbol of Taylor & Karlie's relationship, at minimum it's an ongoing use of the butterfly/serpent juxtaposition seen in Loie Fuller's work and throughout Taylor's.

I think it's fascinating how much we're all inspired and impacted by one another & those influences are meaningful whether people ever know about them or not. I know I have people who have inspired me but will never know. I'm sure you do too. We're all connected in that way.

I just love to consider the "why" behind someone's actions or choices, especially when it comes to art. I like to understand people, and doing so helps me understand myself. Of course it's impossible to ever get confirmation for these sorts of things, but I think it's as good a theory as any.

If nothing else, I'm almost certain that the Vogue writer had good reason to suggest Loie Fuller was the key to Reputation and Lover, although they left it at that. I suppose they had to hide their thoughts in plain sight too, in a way. Maybe they knew, or maybe when you've had to be the illusionist, you can't help but see how the trick is done. It takes away the magic, but it gives you the truth.

[planet-crait]

Episode 9! I think it’s 9. (Edit it’s episode 10) I’m getting confused lolz. How about this the episode I’m watching is called Weird Science. This review tested the limits of my patience with how much tumblr ate it. Forgive me if things are out of order I did my best.

Hazel draws that face criminally quick and I also have to wonder if that buck tooth is another Timmy reference. I’m going to pretend it is.

Either way this seems to be a science project of some sort though I didn’t think you could turn a potato into a light bulb unless I am misidentifying the item Hazel is using.

(Fuck tumblr for eating like half of my post I hate this. I’m sorry if this are out of order or it seems I missed stuff I just. I did the best I could this is so frustrating.)

Okay so I googled it and there is definitely more Hazel needs to do with her potato for it to actually work.

Cosmo how do you not know what a lightbulb looks like??? I’m majorly concerned. Uh wait how does Cosmo know how lightbulbs taste like? Wanda that is so mean. Cosmo!

But oh. Oh I cannot imagine the pressure of trying to follow the footsteps of a sibling who won every year that sounds brutal. I went to the same school as my older sister I looked exactly like and got a lot of the same teachers and that was hell. She’s going to a different school at least but uh. Still a lot of pressure.

Wait wait wait why did you wait til the last minute to do this project if it’s so important? I thought Hazel cared about school so this seems weird to me for her to procrastinate but maybe it’ll be explained? Oh Wanda are you more concerned about Hazel or Cosmo right now I can’t tell.

Cosmo when did you have time to grab the lightbulb again you were in frame the whole time? Okay the jeans comment was funny though.

Okay so now Hazel is uh sort of doing the other stuff to make it work but she didn’t even try and glance over the book? Watch a YouTube video? Sweetie this won’t end well. Uhh wait how is the wish working? This is for a science fair that’s a competition, it’s against the rules to help in a competition? Maybe this will be explained later? Or maybe it will stop working once the competition starts? That could be interesting!

Okay so Jasmines song to remember is silly and oh she can’t remember it that tracks. But VIVA LA PLUTO PLUTO IS A PLANET I WILL NOT ACCEPT OTHERWISE!!!

How does anyone believe Dev actually made a microchip like legit that is. Way too advanced for a ten year old to make. I have a feeling bribery will be at play here.

Wait what is happening with…everything? Why would her wishing her project work screw up all of this stuff? Wait they…had to…rewrite the laws of physics? I. What? Is this to get around the no helping in compensation rule? Wouldn’t that still be helping? Why is Wanda encouraging this behavior or her cheating her project? It might mess with Devs but STILL.

Meditation? Uhh what kind of elementary school is this? Why are their wands NOW making the fart noise? Oh Jorgan is here. So much is happening so fast. How are the wands not working they’re magic not science??? And there is a science fairy!? I mean….I guess?

The laws of physics and the laws of the universe affecting eachother both does and doesn’t make sense and is making my brain hurt as much as when I try and unwind time travel logic.

WHY WOULD IT BEING FOR A SCIENCE FAIR AFFECT IT? I don’t understand. Why did they leave? Weren’t they supposed to help fix it? Oh poor Cosmo he is getting beat up this episode. Shouldn’t Cosmo and Wanda be careful? I would think people would wonder what is making so much noise and I guarantee you raining potato’s will make a lot of noise and cause so much damage. Like so much damage.

Wild speculation, Hazel is going to finally read the book and use the raining potato’s to make more power. Nope she’s going to steal Devs microchip. Once again missing the point. Okay then.

Oh Cosmo and Wanda completely missing the point but oh you two are also so cute lolz.

With how little time is left I imagine they’re going to just chase down the now floating…microchip and use it instead of the potato’s which fine okay whatever miss the point again.

Chip Skylark reference?????!!!?? Nice (Powerline is a way better pop star though lolz)

Wait they’re just sitting and watching and waiting for the ten year old to fix it??? Uhh what? Why come if you won’t do anything for to help? If magic is all screwy how have Cosmo and Wanda been poofing around? I have questions.

The principle ate the- okay. She should be dead but physics are weird so sure fine whatever. But seems I was wrong about not using the potato thing. When did they find such a big potato? And oh now they’re helping okay lazy bums.

Okay Jorgan that is impressive lolz.

No ones going to question how they wound up like that? No one at all? Okay off you go. Principle should definitely be dead though. Like for sure dead.

Okay this is just laziness the potato looks exactly the same as before come on yall. Oh it didn’t work okay. But wow a rare genuine moment of sort of kindness from the principle and the lesson I’ve been begging the show for on not procrastinating? Thats good to see lolz. I do think it’s important for kids to know they did good even if they don’t win these competitions. Thankfully I never had to enter one but still.

OHHH DISABILITY REP I LOVE TO SEE IT!!! We’re seeing so much diversity in the show is really great to see honestly

I almost forgot about Winns project. Should have expected them to win lolz. (It’s literally their name). Aww, I’m glad Hazels parents are supportive. That’s really good to see and maybe a tiny baby nod to Meet the Robinson’s with the message about failure helping learn? Love to see it.

With how many times wishes go wrong because Cosmo and Wanda have to do crazy things to make the wish work why don’t they warn her about this? Thats the main thing I’m wondering right now.

Overall not a bad episode but there have been others I liked more. Onto the next one!

[tillthereweretangents]

The book in the video for Free as a Bird

The video for "Free As a Bird" is chockablock with references to Beatles songs. We believe every one of their songs is in there somewhere, maybe even including songs that they didn’t release, and we’re working on putting together a comprehensive list.

However, true to form, we got waylaid by a tangent. (Stick with us to the end, we promise it's worth it).

In the scene representing "Paperback Writer" a book is seen on the table closest to the camera:

Tragically this is the clearest shot of the book (you can watch the video here, the book appears at the 3 minute mark). It seems as though it has been intentionally blurred. We’re not ones to back down from a research challenge though!

We tried all the obvious things: it’s clearly not Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, for example, but we weren’t having much luck finding a book with a two-word title (first word slightly shorter), whose author had a longer first name and shorter surname. (Did you know there are 1.5 million books in the Penguin archive collection?)

So we contacted archive@penguinrandomhouse.co.uk (because of course we did). They got back to us quickly, and were very helpful. 

Our correspondent Esmé tried to find a contract for any Penguin book being used in the video, but came up empty. So the Beatles didn’t get permission to use this book. Very interesting, especially since it seems to have been obscured. 

She pointed out that the combination of:

Two line book title

One line author name

Dancing penguin figure (only used between 1940 and 1950)

Is quite rare, so that really narrows the search. 

She suggested that, since it doesn’t appear to have “genre markers” on the sides, it would be from 1947 or later. However when you watch the video there may be compression artifacts (smudges) remaining of genre markers that are on the book, but not clearly visible (more on that later).

She proposed Silas Marner after having done a bit of research on her own (have we mentioned what a star she was?):

Armed with all this information we trawled the website given to us by Esmé for more suitable candidates.

The shape of the author name seriously narrows it down, and where a book might match by name, it fails to match by title. In fact, we only found three real candidates, plus the book Esmé gave us: 

Holy Terrors by Arthur Manchen

Paper Houses by William Plomer

And

Peter Waring by Forrest Reid

Just on first glance, only one of these books really had the shortness of the surname seen in the video,

But just to be sure, since the book in the video is blurred and very under saturated, we tried to replicate it:

Silas Marner, Holy Terrors

Paper Houses, Peter Waring

These are the settings we used if anyone wants to check our work:

And that blurred and compressed, the “fiction” marker really is more like a smudge, so we feel confident that we don't need to find a book with no genre marks. 

Here’s that screenshot of the book again, to save you scrolling back to the top:

Only one of these books has the right surname length. We actually measured with a ruler on screen, and the ratio of length between the Author names on our mystery book is 2.333. The ratio between Forrest and Reid (in the font on the Penguin edition): 2.3. Given the inaccuracies of measuring on a screen that’s remarkably close.

We found it. The book is Peter Waring by Forrest Reid. 

After watching the relevant section of the video through, with this book in mind, we’re now totally convinced this is the right book. (Please let us know if you can find another candidate!)

But why? Why that book? It’s not like they’d ever mentioned it, as far as we could find, at least. 

Here’s where it gets interesting.

Peter Waring (1937) is a full-scale revision of Reid's earlier Following Darkness (1912) in which Peter, a sensitive boy with literary inclinations, grows up unhappily in the household of his father, a cold village schoolmaster in Newcastle, County Down, and among his Belfast relatives whom he finds intolerable. 

'An acute and subtle story of adolescence. . . . A delicacy and a grave beauty which make their own quiet appeal.' Times 

'Reid has written one of the finest studies of the mental, sexual, spiritual life of the adolescent without ever mentioning the words.' Glasgow Herald

Sound like the family background of anyone we know? (hint: replace father with Aunt)

But, oh wait, it gets better. 

Forrest Reid was a gay man (very repressed by many accounts but seemingly just ace, or the equivalent at the time, by others) who wrote novels about the queer adolescent experience, more emotional than sexual, in the early 1900s. 

He was good friends with EM Forster, another queer writer of his time and other suspected but never confirmed queer writers as well such as Arthur Greaves. His works are not really well known still, and frankly weren’t even well known in the 50s and 60s, except in queer circles, according to our research. 

Perhaps the choice of this specific Reid book is related to one or more of the Peters in their circle? Shotton, Best, Brown, and Asher. That's a lot of Peters!

As we said at the start, in the music video the book appears in a scene depicting the song "Paperback Writer". And you know what fits better than “Lear” in the lyrics of that song? 

Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book? It took me years to write, will you take a look? It's based on a novel by a man named Reid And I need a job So I wanna be a paperback writer Paperback writer

(note: Lear never wrote any novels).

Knowing how they liked plays on words (read, Reid), half rhymes (Reid, be), and internal rhymes (Reid, need) we think it’s very likely the novel in the first draft of the song was by a man named Reid.

Much to think about!

Thanks again to Esmé Library and Archive Assistant at Penguin Random House Archive