#midget pidge

[sukisheadlights]

⸼𓍢💫៹ ۟ Voltron, LD. Masterlist

「 ♡ - fluff │ ☾ - angst │ ⍤ - smut │ • - headcanons 」

⟶ 𝘒𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘩

• "i could be yours" ⟶ 𝘓𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦

• "i could be yours" ⟶ 𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘰

• "i could be yours" ⟶ 𝘗𝘪𝘥𝘨𝘦

• "i could be yours" ⟶ 𝘏𝘶𝘯𝘬

• "i could be yours" ⟶ 𝘔𝘢𝘵𝘵 ⟶ 𝘓𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘳

⟶ 𝘈𝘭𝘭𝘶𝘳𝘢

[trioxidewastaken]

yall what if beta!willow met pidge from voltron, would they be besties

[lowkey-loki245]

Pidge: I'd fight the world for you guys.

Lance: You are a midget, that is a pretty small world.

Pidge: I am willing to include you in that world, fucker.

[merrykidgemas]

Hair Ties

"Can you see?"

Keith blinks, once, precisely.

"Uuuuh-" His unsure answer drew slowly from his mouth, only now noticing how his black hair tickled softly against his face, partially impairing his vision. "I'm okay-"

Oh.

Oh.

When her fingertips gently brushed a few large strands away from his widened eyes (very closely!! to! his! face!), it revealed two very focused purple irises. Could anyone tell how he barely had time to inhale a breath of air before he had noticed this small girl's figuring closing the distance between them, how he was now definitely holding said breath despite his mostly stony facial expression?

Pidge laughs, but it is a laugh that is unaware of the current turmoils in his thumping heart. "Dude I think you need a hair tie at least! You do tie your hair sometimes right?" She immediately draws back from him to go rummage around in the drawer of her desk. Keith misses the close proximity b u t you didn't hear that from him.

Does he lie, does he lie?? Think brain, think!!!

"I don't... really..." He quietly mutters, annoyed at the fact that he could hear Lance and Shiro's laugh in his mind for lying about such a silly matter. But depending on the outcome, it might be worth it. Keith's sitting crossed-legged on her bed, something he never thought he would be doing in a million years, but he finally gave into it after Pidge insisted after all she did painstakingly rearranged all the plushies on her bed to give him space.

His heart is still beating just as hard whilst the hoodie-clad rummager continued her search, mumbling to herself about misplacing things. Friends, Keith, they were juuuust friends. Friends planning a birthday party for a mutual friend! Good friends. Friends that should get marrie- waitwheredidthatthoughtcomefromKeith-

"Found them!" Pidge says enthusiastically. She excitedly holds up one for him to see then hands it forward to him. "Here ya go." Pidge's expression then turns into one of confusion when Keith turns slightly away from her as he rubs the back of his neck. "What's wrong?"

His ears turn red. "I kinda forgot how to tie hair so... It's okay Pidge. I'll be fine." This was silly, he was being silly. Why would he so foolishly raise his own expectations like that? It wasn't like Pidge would actually ask to-

"Pff that's alright. I can just tie your hair for you if you want!"

"......."

REALLY-??!?

Keith remembers his thoughts weren't forming actual words out loud so he stutters a bit. "I-If you want to but Pidge I haven't taken a shower yet and-"

"And what?" She chuckles, already climbing off the bed to stand behind him. "It's just you, Keith."

It's just you. God, he loves her.

The boy had to hold back from flinching when he again felt her hands begin to gather his hair to form a short ponytail. Keith hears another giggle from behind him this time. Pidge was holding back more laughter, oh man Keith was too adorable in the most unexpected moments. Keith was tense at first, awkward and rigid, but his stiff shoulders seem to relax a bit as Pidge began to speak. "Tying a ponytail is actually really easy. You just bunch up your hair into a single section then pass it through the hair tie, you see?" Though, hopefully, this wasn't too much for him. The last thing Pidge wanted to do was overwhelm the guy.

On the other hand, as Pidge continued to explain, Keith's focus was more on this new, pleasant sensation. Growing up, he didn't get that many head pats. After meeting his current friends, he had picked up a habit or two, one of them being patting the head of their resident midget.

Everyone had their own style of how they patted Pidge's head. Keith reserved his head pats for her when he noticed her green eyes blinking sleepily, a sign that she had, again, stayed up way too late again the night before. Still, he admired her hardworking nature and in his mind, that effort deserved some gentle head pats.

Him on the other hand? Keith never really struck the others as someone who might enjoy them. Shiro sometimes did, only privately after giving him a pep talk to help him get out of an emotional rut. He cherished those moments but they still felt foreign to him.

Though tying hair didn't really count, the hands on his head right now brought him an odd yet immense amount of comfort. It wasn't a playful ruffle. It was filled with deliberate care. It made him want to deliberately care for her too.

"And there, done." Pidge steps away to sit back on her bed as Keith brought a hand up to feel the finished product. Hmm. Not too loose, not too tight. Impressive attention to detail as usual. She grins when she sees him nod, noting how most of his bangs weren't in the way of his eyes.

"Thanks, Pidge. I can see better now." Keith clears his throat again. "I... like it."

Like could not even begin to describe how much he adored the whole process, how much he adored her. This was like a miracle. A once-in-a-lifetime happening. "It's really nice, thank you."

"You know," Pidge tilts her head as she began. Keith puts his hand back down to look at her. "I actually did not dislike doing that. Ah- no. I mean to say that tying your hair was oddly relaxing. It has a very different texture to my hair and Matt's hair."

Keith blinks again, not sure where her rambling would lead to this time, but he lets her continue. "Our family's hair gets tangled up real easily- to the points where it isn't funny. I can't count how many times I've gotten a hairbrush stuck in either in his hair or mine."

Nodding, Keith says, "That does sound like a lot of work when you put it that way."

"Right?? But your hair is so smooth and- un-tangly. At least, not as bad as ours. It was very satisfying!"

"......I can't believe we're having this type of conversation."

That comment earned him a light push on the arm and a soft scoff. "Hey. If you think about it, I'm complimenting you Kogane. I thought you would appreciate my honesty more but now I know!" Her tone shifted to a more dramatic one, jokingly of course.

Keith just earnestly looks down at her. He doesn't really think before he acts this time so the words slip out of his mouth. "I also liked it."

Silence.

"Th-that was a compliment too- I'm saying you're good at tying hair and... stuff. You even took the time to explain it to me." She's still looking at him oh gosh. Why is she looking surprised now? "So if you wanted to play with it," Keith can't help but mumble for the rest of the sentence, "you could... play with my hair... only if you want to...."

Wow did he sound awkward.

"Though I really don't know why you would even want to because my hair isn't even that long so-"

"Can I?"

Pidge's eyes were... sparkling? Alrighty...?

"Uuuh- yeah, sure- Whenever you want, I guess. I don't mind if it's you."

She looks so happy and Keith decides that's all that matters. But now he was curious. "Why do you like to do this?" He points to his new ponytail.

Pidge giggles again, making his cheeks warm but he loves to hear it anyway. "My mom would help with my hair when I was younger, braiding it and whatnot, and I just found it a very relaxing recreational activity to put every single strand in place because, well, it's a way I can interact with my family members without always needing to use words. Relaxing and quiet and simple. I can even braid my dad's beard now to look like a viking! Uh- Sorta-"

"I see..." Keith thought about it for a moment, looking down at the bed where their planning notes were. As he pondered more on it, the more his curiosity grew. "Do you think... Could I try?"

Pidge nods and hums a yes. "Yeah, it would be good practice for you to start tying your own hair too so I don't always have to do it from now on!"

Keith laughs along a little while hoping that what Pidge said wouldn't really come true. This was one of the rare times he felt okay to be so physically close with someone. He welcomed it, embraced it even. It was because Pidge was simply so trustworthy. It made Keith's chest bloom with warmth, knowing that she was willing to share this piece of her with him. What did he do to deserve her in his life? Every time he looks into her eyes, he cannot fathom any answer.

He was going to lift his hand up again to take off his hair-tie to redo it himself when Pidge turned her back to him on the bed. ...What?

"Here's another hair-tie." She passes it to him from behind her and he takes it, confused. Did she mean for him to tie her hair????

"O-oh, right- Thanks."

He was probably overthinking this but, applying his logic to this situation, did Pidge find him trustworthy too? Keith watches as Pidge pushes the rest of her hair back over her shoulder for him.

Marry me.

Okay w h e r e do these thoughts keep coming from??????

"I'll try my best not to tangle it," Keith says as he lifts up her hair with care, remembering what Pidge had said. Woah. What a beautiful color... and soft too. Pidge was right again, her hair did feel different from his own but that was okay. He loved that she was different from him.

Keith puts the hair-tie on his lap as he begins to gently brush the girl's hair with his fingers like she did with his hair just a while ago. He begins to understand what she had said, memorizing the feeling of his hands running through her locks, careful not to tug on any knots. It was a way to do something nice for someone you cared about and Keith was more than glad to do it for Pidge.

All the while, all Pidge could only think of one thing.

"I can't believe I actually got him to do this, YES."

Mental note to self: remember to buy more hair-ties.

"I'm beginning to understand what you mean now," Keith smiles even though Pidge can't see but she could hear it in his voice. This was very calming.

Pidge chuckles back. "I'll give you a two-for-one deal."

"Two?"

"Mhmm, tie pigtails!"

Oooh. He remembered Pidge explaining that to him before. "The cute one?"

.

Oh no.

It was too late to take back what he just said as Pidge feined a shocked gasp even though she really was surprised. Seriously, that took her off guard! "Th-the cute one??? Keith?????"

Just when this whole thing was starting to become a relaxing recreational activity!! Pidge why?!

"Please turn back,,," It's too late, Keith's heart rate shoots up again.

She laughs again and Keith turns even redder than before, now knowing his honest opinion. But he bet that she would look cuter in a wedding veil.

Why d- Nevermind. If he planned on doing this with her the rest of his life, might as well ask if he can spend the rest of his life with her while he was at it too.

But he should probably ask her to be his girlfriend first right-

(spoilers: Keith asks at the party and of course Pidge says yes hehe)

[tbartss]

Well since you asked so nicely, here is everything I wrote so far :’))

There was one memory Lance kept going back to whenever the world around him seemed too real. It was a long time ago, but he remembered it like it was yesterday.

He was back in Cuba, sitting on his surfboard on the mellow waves, his knees on either side as he stared up at the stars. He was 10 years old, and had yet to hear about the phenomenal school that was the Galaxy Garrison that would spark the beginning of his destiny. Now he was just a simple, normal citizen of Cuba, riding the dancing water and tracing the lights in the sky with his Tìo.

His tio, for all his remarkable self, was a strange man, and Lance had always thought so. It wasn’t in the way he spoke or gestures or walked or anything like that. It was in the things he said, sometimes, to seemingly just Lance.

Once he had thrown Lance one look and said, “I have only one debt, and that is to the stars.” What he had been doing to make him say that was the part he didn’t remember, but it wasn’t the important part.

His tio was his mother’s brother, but even she couldn’t make sense to what he was saying. When he had asked Raquel if she had heard him say anything like that, she’d shaken her head and looked at him as if he was crazy.

“You probably just dreamt it.” She’d said, but Lance was sure it hadn’t been his imagination.

“No way! My dreams are nothing like that.”

“You can’t control your dreams, tonto. Besides, Tio hardly ever speaks, and for him to say something like that is just downright loco.”

But Lance wasn’t convinced. He hadn’t really noticed until then that Rachel was right about one things though. His tio hardly ever spoke, but Lance had just chalked that up to adulthood. He had thought that the more you grew up, the less you needed to say. But now that he thought about it, his mother didn’t seem to hold back on any words whatsoever. Not to mention the very expressive way she spoke with her hands, that Lance had inherited. It was hardly believable that they were related.

“The stars are calling you again, eh?” He said now, staring at Lance, who was in turn staring at the stars. It was one of his favourite pass times, and his tio was one of his favourite people to do it with.

He wanted to ask what he meant, but he knew it was no use. Ever since Raquel had come with that comment, he’d begun to see that his tio was a man of few words. Lance had never heard him repeat himself and he knew it was futile to ask him of it now.

He’d said to Lance once, when he’d held a gun for the first time, that a man should think like he only has one bullet left in his holster. “One target. One shot. Once you pull the trigger there is no going back.” He was starting to think he wasn’t only applying that to his shooting.

So, Lance shrugged as an answer to his question. When his tio got like this, usually late into the night, Lance didn’t know what to say to him, most of the time. It was like he expected something from Lance, but Lance had no idea what, much less how to give it to him.

Nevertheless his tio nodded sagely, like Lance’s shrug told him everything he couldn’t say with words. His feet were wading the water under them calmly, causing small ripples that rocked Lance a little, like a soothing lullaby. He asked, “Leandro, how do they make you feel?”

Lance tore his eyes from the constellation his mother had named Orion, tilting his head. “Huh?” But it was useless, he knew, because his tio, instead of repeating himself, turned back to the night sky.

His eyes turned soft, and he breathed deep as if he could smell the galaxy from here if only he breathed deep enough.

Lance, feeling again like his tio was expecting something he didn’t know how to give, poked the water a couple of times. Once there, once here. And before he knew it, he was tracing his finger in the same shape as the constellation. The water rippled until his fingers stilled, and Lance saw that the Orion he had drawn was mirrored in the water.

How did the stars make him feel? How would he know? He was ten.

“What am I supposed to feel?” He asked instead, as he started tracing Andromeda in the water. When the image got too blurry he paused his finger to let the water still before he continued.

“You’ll know when you know, Lancito.” His voice was a soft timber in the quiet of the night, and Lance thought about how his tio was probably the closest he came to a father.

He listened to him breathe for a while, feeling a weird sensation in the crest of his chest, tucked somewhere deep inside that he didn’t know how to name. And lance, when he had added the last star to Andromeda, said, “Tio?”

He hummed in answer, not taking his eyes off of the stars.

“How did you know you wanted to work at the range?”

His tio looked at him in question. Just like how he was a man of few words, he also never said anything unnecessary.

Lance swallowed and looked away, suddenly feeling the need to fiddle with his fingers. “It’s just that at school, they asked us what we wanted to be in the future and I have no idea. Raquel knows she wants to be a teacher, and Marco has that internship and Veronica has been at that flying school a million years. But I have no idea what I want to be. What I want to do.” He looked up at his tio desperately, but he was only looking back as if he was deep in thought. “The only thing I’m sorta good at is shooting and fútbol. Do you think I should work with you, at the range?”

His tio seemed suspended in time, his body so still he caused no ripples in the sea below them. The wind carried his hair; it was dark brown, like Lance’s mother’s, like his father’s. Like his own.

And then slowly, his tio shook his head. The wind carried his voice like it would the single petal of a dandelion. He said, “Your place is not here, mijo. I think you know, deep inside you, where you belong.”

And then he said, “There is a part of you that is still sleeping. Once you wake it, that’s when you’ll know.”

He really hated his mysticism sometimes. He wished he could be a little clearer in what he meant, but then he thought about how he would feel if someone wished he could just understand things in a normal way. Lance had noticed he needed the extra step to understand certain things, elaborations if you will, but he didn’t think that’s the part his tio was talking about.

No, when Lance finally understood what his tio had meant, he’d stood on the frontlines of an intergalactic war.

***

When Lance had first laid eyes on the castle he’d thought, now that’s a house. He envisioned himself laid back with his hands resting behind his head, being fed grapes by the very attractive subjects that served him as he kicked back and relaxed like a king. He thought that the castle was his dream in reality, laid out bare for his very own eyes to see.

The other’s hadn’t been as impressed. More likely, they had been scared shitless. When he looked at Keith he saw only stone cold exterior. He bet himself that Keith was thinking the exact same thing he was. Too bad this was Lance’s dream, and he was going to seize it for himself.

The Blue Lion ship had really helped with his confidence. With that machinery, a weapon answering only to his command, he was basically unstoppable. He had the world at his feet, the stars in his hair. No one, not even Keith, could take that from him.

Shiro had taken charge, but he was okay with that. He knew what he was doing, and honestly, what is a dream without some comrades to die for, right? He had his best friend, his midget of a communications officer, and his rival in the same boat. There was no adventure, if he had no one to share it with.

The others looked around while Lance tinkered with the central controls in the room they were in. He pushed a few buttons and then laid his hand on the handprint, almost missing the hissing machinery that resulted from his improvising.

And boy, did he want to share his dreams.

When he had first laid eyes on Allura, a falling princess, landing in his arms, he’d thought, now that’s a woman. He envisioned them both sitting together, laughing together, standing at the alter as his family cheered him on, and Lance was wearing the biggest smile in the universe, really, NASA could capture it with their satellite. He thought that Allura was his dream come true, a fair maiden falling into his arms.

She was like a memory pulled from his mind.

A strong one, and quite hurtful.

“Ow, ow, ow! Careful, my skin is very delicate!”

The princess did not let up her hold on his ear, and he tried not to hear the snigger he knew was coming from Pidge.

***

“This castle must be ancient.” The hallways were so empty and wide his voice was carried across the distance. He whistled to test out the acoustics. He heard his own tune for another ten seconds before it disappeared further down the hall.

“100.000 years to be exact!” Coran said cheerily behind him. His voice carried far, too.

The first tour around the castle wasn’t very impressive. All of the doors were closed and it looked like no one had walked down these halls forever — which he supposed no one had, now that he thought about it. The control panels and light bulbs beside and above every door, respectively, were covered in dust.

With Allura walking down the hall in front of them though, the light turned on, running like veins horizontically along the wall until the hallway disappeared beyond the eye could see. These hallways were massive. Lance thought it’d be quite lonely for only two people.

“Amazing,” Pidge gushed, staring unblinkingly at the lights that turned on. Allura looked over her shoulder to smile kindly at him.

Hunk squinted at the lights, too, and poked them with his pointer finger. “How exactly does that work? I don’t see any electricity outlets.”

Coran laughed loudly, the sound of his merry filling the entire hallway. Lance thought it sounded a bit like his tio. “Oh, the simple human and their wonders,” he said. He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. “The castle’s power source, my young earthling, is connected to Allura’s energy. She is the only one who can control this ship and everything in it with her alchemy.”

“Alchemy?” Pidge piped up, sidling alongside Coran. “As in equivalent exchange?”

“Wait, wait, wait. How were we then able to get in with the Lion ship?” Hunk asked, touching the light along the walls.

Honestly, Lance was getting bored with their conversation. Blah, blah, something about Altean magic, and ancient knowledge, whatever. What Lance wanted to know was what was behind all of these doors. There were so many, Lance doubted each of them housed an Altean court person back in the day.

He walked to the nearest door and squinted at the control panel beside it. The inscription was in Altean, which he obviously couldn’t read, but there was also a very big red button. He wondered if…

The doors whooshed open the second he pressed the button on the panel. Inside was what Lance would assume was the Altean equivalent of a broom closet. It was bigger than his house. Like massive. How many bathrooms was the toilet paper in this closet supposed to cover?

He turned around to keep walking, when he stopped in his tracks. Everyone was staring at him.

At the sound of the doors opening, Coran had stopped talking immediately about something or other, Lance wasn’t really paying attention. Allura was also looking at him and the door, seeming in shock.

Lance raised his arms and took two steps away from the door. “It wasn’t me, I didn’t do anything.”

No one said a word, for a while. Shiro was looking between Coran and Allura, probably to try and figure out what they were thinking, or if this had been inappropriate somehow. Keith looked about ready to downright murder Lance.

After some time of staring very intensely at Lance, Coran hummed and stroked his moustache. “The controls must be rustier than I thought. It has been 10.000 years…” he muttered, more to himself than anyone. He must have decided it wasn’t worth mulling over, his wrist flicking like he was swatting the topic away. “Anyway,” he continued walking, “so the crystals in this castle…”

And that was that. Allura and Coran kept walking, and Shiro, sensing there were no consequences happening, started to walk, too, prompting everyone else to follow his lead.

Lance breathed a sigh of relief, and made sure to close the door before he followed with them.

“Stop touching stuff, you’re going to get us in trouble,” Keith hissed beside him. He must have slowed his pace to Lance’s. Just to tell him off? Tch, Lance didn’t think so.

“Relax, Mullet,” he answered and pocketed his hands in his jeans. “These people aren’t going to harm us. I mean, look at how gorgeous— I mean forgiving the princess was.”

“We’re in the middle of space with flying cat ships that are controlled by the very people that could incinerate us in a matter of seconds, or did you forget?” He added, “And it’s not a mullet!”

Lance shrugged. “Ay, stop being so paranoid. If you tighten up any more you’ll probably die a non-heroic death by boredom.”

“I don’t care about that.”

“And that will be your downfall. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“What? That doesn’t even make any sense!”

***

*lance and hunk sneaking out of the garrison to go clubbing. Lance stops and stares at the stars. Maybe something happened earlier with Keith.*

“You okay, man?”

“Huh? Yea, was just thinking of something my uncle said once.”

“About space? Whatd he say?”

“I don’t even know, man, he didn’t make a lot of sense. It doesn’t matter, let’s go meet some girls WOO!!”

***

“How do you keep doing that?”

“Doing what? I’m just pressing buttons.”

“Yeah, that open doors that aren’t supposed to open.”

“Maybe the castle just likes me the best.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Enough talk. Let’s swim, mullet! I’ll race ya!”

***

The thing about the Galra is that they are both persistent and resourceful, and when you mix those two things together, they become near unstoppable. It was probably why their reign had lasted for as long as it did.

[that0melette]

This meme is still funny, right?

[all-this-panic-still-no-disco]

My take on the characters of voltron after only reading klance fanfiction

Pidge: Pidget the Midget. Small. Angry. Non-binary. Will fuck you up if you insult her. Is too smart for this world. Friend with a capital F.

Hunk: Kinder then Jesus. Crushing on Shay. Is a giant teddy bear.

Shiro: Human Cinnamon Roll. Robotic arm guy. Stupid hot and stupid nice.

Kieth: Smol and angry. Basically a friendlier Nico di Angelo. Gay. Hips that won’t quit. Mean but kind inside.

Lance: The Annoyance. Pretends to be a lady killer but in reality he’s a fluff-ball. All bi himself.

Allura: Dont fuck with her. The most beautiful girl in school. Hardcore crushing on Shiro. Literal goddess and no one deserves her. So Very Nice.

How did I do?

[klanced]

Pidge being taller than Keith is the funniest fucking concept. EVER

pidge: you’re gonna have to talk to me at some point y’know

keith: …..

pidge: oh for the love of TURING- you can’t ACTUALLY be mad at me, it’s not like i did this on purpose

keith: (looks at his nails)

pidge: oh, my gosh i loathe you so much you gigantic drama queen. in fact, y’know what? you know fucking what, keith?

shiro: please don’t start again you two-

pidge: grow. up.

keith: .. what did you just say?

lance: here we go again.

pidge: i said, 

“grow. up.”

keith: hooooOOOOOOOW DARE YOU.

pidge: bite me you flipping midget.

keith: i TRUSTED you pidge, i thought we were in this TOGETHER. what happened to the SOLIDARITY? does our bicep bond mean nothing to you??

pidge: what, am i supposed to be SORRY that i hit puberty and you DIDN’T? IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU DIDN’T EAT YOUR VEGETABLES, KEITH.

keith: (outraged scream)

(a scuffle ensues)

[ao3feed-klance]

who wants pizza?

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/2HN03LP

by dumbh0e

Hunk and Pidge thought it would be funny to hire a male stripper for Lance's 19th birthday. The rest is history.

Words: 1383, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron), Pidge (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron), Allura (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron)

Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Stripper Keith (Voltron), Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Lance's Birthday, No Smut, this is a joke, monopoly money, Mario Kart, Pizza, Dirty Jokes, keith just wants to do his job, rip lance, Crack, LMAO, midget strippers

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/2HN03LP

[pidgeymidgey]

Y'all cant stop making galra keith some sort of cat-like-boy. But…..imagine if galras act like DOGS. Imagine how the pALADINS ACT WHEN THEY DISCOVER IT!!! The thrill, the dog jokes, the nERVE! Lance: (appears with a ball) look what ive got keithy boy :)))) Keith: lance this is the sixth time today i’m not gonna…. Lance (throws the ball) CATCH IT BUDDY!!!!!!! Keith: *sprints half the castle behind it , knocks over several chairs, a weird altean flotaing table, half of pidge’s equipment and a confused coran in the process* He finally catches it with his mouth and Lance can’t stop weeping about how a good boy he is. He meant to mock Keith but now he’s crying somehow.

Needless to say, Allura is #done. She never met a dog in her life, she doesn’t get what all this fuss is about, no, she doesn’t know what dogue is pidge, she was in a cryopod for ten thousand years for fuck’s sake

[ao3feed-safeklance]

who wants pizza?

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2HN03LP

by dumbh0e

Hunk and Pidge thought it would be funny to hire a male stripper for Lance's 19th birthday. The rest is history.

Words: 1383, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron), Pidge (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron), Allura (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron)

Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Stripper Keith (Voltron), Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Lance's Birthday, No Smut, this is a joke, monopoly money, Mario Kart, Pizza, Dirty Jokes, keith just wants to do his job, rip lance, Crack, LMAO, midget strippers

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2HN03LP

[trioxidewastaken]

I posted 605 times in 2022

That's 581 more posts than 2021!

97 posts created (16%)

508 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ankle-beez

@emilyinhalf

@estufar

@smokestarrules

@homunculusalphonse

I tagged 534 of my posts in 2022

Only 12% of my posts had no tags

#lol tag - 307 posts

#the owl house - 153 posts

#trio posts - 99 posts

#luz noceda - 61 posts

#amity blight - 50 posts

#hunter - 45 posts

#lumity - 33 posts

#willow park - 30 posts

#elon musk - 27 posts

#steven universe - 26 posts

Longest Tag: 130 characters

#specifically beta willow bc i feel like she’d match pidge’s tiny midget energy in a way that canon willow might just find charming

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

forgot to post this yesterday but happy lumity canon / raeda divorce day for those who observe 🥳

498 notes - Posted July 31, 2022

#4

Going forward, any Twitter handles engaging in impersonation without clearly specifying “parody” will be permanently suspended.

655 notes - Posted November 6, 2022

#3

INSIDE JOB S1 PART 2 E8 SPOILERS AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"Your name is Martin Higgins. You live just outside Appleton, Wisconsin. "You had a hard time for a long time, but you did something brave. You took a chance on a new life because you realized you deserved one. "I searched a thousand lifetimes for the one that would make you happiest. "And you'll find it one day. Just… without me. "You're free now. I'm sorry that I couldn't be free with you. "I'll miss you, Ron, and I know if it were possible… you'd miss me too."

See the full post

769 notes - Posted November 18, 2022

#2

whatever you do, do not think about alador (a new father of 2 and later 3) hastily putting together this swing set to try and squeeze in some fun dad time with his children, but having it fall apart to neglect due to his overdemanding job and emotional abuse from his wife/business partner

1,920 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

🙃🙂🙃🙂

3,158 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fandomthesickness]

Lance: May I have this dance?

Pidge: Well, I got nothing better to do sharpshooter.

Lance: Awesome, I’ve never danced with a midget before.

Pidge: Eh, well I’ve never danced with an idiot before so I guess we are even.

[erroneous-voltron-quotes]

Hunk: Mint ice cream and other mint-flavoured foods taste GREAT and y’all can’t change my mind.

Pidge: Hunk, do you accept constructive criticism?

Hunk: Choose your next words carefully, dear midget.

Pidge: Mint SUCKS.

Hunk: You cOME INTO MY HOUSE, disrespect MY MINTS -

[tsubasaclones]

I cant stop thinking about this post I saw back in my v*ltron days where someone was mad someone called pidge a midget bc they said midget was an anti-short people slur?????

[bionicdragonguardian1]

Day 6: Supernatural

I think I misunderstood the question because by the time I realized I was wrong I was already done and went full stream-of-consciousness style back to Day 5 for this one, but technically they do occur in the correct order. By misunderstood the question I kinda did Day 23 here by accident. This is pre S5, other than that it’s really open-ended.

When Pidge and Hunk found out their apartment was haunted

They expected a movie’s worth of problems

Instead, the two ghosts, two young men in their early twenties were rather content to let them live here

Apparently, they only kicked people out who were assholes

Some people got freaked out because they were… well ghosts

But other than that Lance and Keith were totally chill roommates to have

Hunk and Pidge would occasionally forget that they were actually ghosts

That is until someone broke into the apartment and tried to rob them

The door was busted out into the hallway, blown completely off the hinges

The worst of the damage was in the kitchen

But it was simple things mugs, silverware, and Hunk’s really common kitchenware

The thing was, Lance and Keith got really quiet about it

They clearly didn’t want to talk about it

Pidge didn’t want to go behind their backs, but they had to download some of the videos off of the cameras they had installed before properly meeting Lance and Keith

What they saw was something else

The guy wasn’t there to rob them like the police said

He was there to ambush her

Even though she couldn’t hear what he said, because Keith was screeching and actually turning tangible enough to take the guy down, she could guess what he said

Turns out it was Lance that started throwing mugs and forks at him.

Though “throwing” wasn’t quite right considering Lance apparently had telekinetic abilities

Keith eventually got him back into the kitchen and the two of them pushed him through the door with a combined power

Pidge resolved to talk to them about it

But a notification popped up of one of their channel’s followers asking if more vids were going to be dropped

Since they had nothing else ready to go they uploaded the fight in the apartment

Apartment Ghosts Catch Intruder and Save Tenant went viral within the day

Pidge and Hunk should’ve been less surprised when not one, not two, but three journalists showed up at their door.

Two guys and girl

Sam, Dean, and Jo. apparently.

Something about the questions they were asking made Pidge feel uneasy

Though when they and Hunk saw both previous tenants shrug they decided to be honest with the journalists

They’d probably finish and think they were crazy behind their backs anyway.

“Why do you keep looking in that corner?” Dean finally asked

Keith, who didn’t do people, according to Lance, made the lights turn off for a moment then turn back on.

“Hey.” Lance greets still in the corner while Keith was now standing by the light switch

“I thought you said there were two of you living here?” Jo accuses, seeming to look around for the source of Lance’s voice

“There are.” Hunk replied rather simply. “We weren’t lying when we said this place was haunted.”

“You wouldn’t know their names by any chance, would you?” Sam asks

“Sure, it’s Lance and Keith.”

“Full names, Midget.” Dean snaps

“Don’t call me that!” Pidge snapped back

“Lance and Keith what?” Sam asks more calmly.

“Why don’t you just ask us?” Keith huffs.

All three of them turned at the sound of his voice.

This time they can see him, and they watch with stunned expressions as he plays with the light switch.

The only thing off-putting is that Keith is partially see through.

“Which one are you, ugly?”

“Who you callin’ ugly?”

“I’m sure he meant me.”

“That doesn’t make it better, Mullet.”

“You two are the ghosts that have been haunting this place?” Jo asks

“Sure.” they’re both rather casual about it.

“Are you sure?” Dean questions

Keith huffs, jumping the seven feet that separate him and the couch to sit down on it.

“You make a better door than a window.” he informs Dean.

“Shut it Casper.”

“It’s Keith.” he corrects.

“Dean, calm down, none of this matches the lore.” Sam tell him

Pidge perks up. “Yeah, you see I was checking that too and they don’t really match the stories of any sort of haunting we’ve seen recorded.”

“From what Pidge and I can see Lance and Keith are something different.”

“Different how?” Jo asks

Lance huffs. “My Dad was a Hunter, you know, I know you are too.”

Pidge, Hunk, and Keith are all thoroughly confused and can only watch as the conversation leaves them behind

They understand it all, but the context of things go over their head

Salt and Burn?

Exorcism

Poltergeist?

Iron tools, EMF readers, and Rock Salt pellets?

Yet, they all watch as Lance not only keeps up with the conversation but keeps the three guests on their toes

“What happened to you when you died?” Dean asks as the conversation wanes

Completely ignoring how Keith looks like it’s the last thing that he wants to talk about

“It was a house fire, in the middle of the night.” Keith says rather darkly, this time the lights flicker, the one on the side table pops

“That’s a little wrong,” Lance admits looking at the three. “They said it was a house fire, but that usually gives you some time to escape. The gas stove leaked in the middle of the night, meaning we missed the warning signs.”

“So what, there was no fire?” Jo asks, crossing her arms

“No, there was, it’s just that the gas lit when Keith knocked his lighter on the floor.” Lance admits lowly

“Lighter?” Hunk and Pidge ask even they didn’t know that.

“I smoked.” Keith says simply, but not meeting Lance’s eyes. “I had woken up and realized that I felt… wrong so I reached to grab the phone we kept next to the bed.”

Lance looks down too. “I wasn’t awake enough to process anything beyond the fact that I had a headache and was having a bit of trouble breathing. So I tried to keep Keith from getting out of bed.”

They all knew what happened next, they could almost see it

Keith’s hand missed the phone and knocked his lighter off the bedside table.

They couldn’t even process anything before the spark lit the gas and a fire started.

“Flash Burn.” Sam mumbled, before turning to the other two still living people. “Thank you for your time, we’ll be going now.”

Lance and Keith watched them in the hallway how Dean and Jo got angry and said they should destroy them, and most surprisingly how Sam defended them.

How if they hadn’t gone crazy and lost their humanity yet, they likely never would.

Lance and Keith already knew that to be true, they had expelled some less than friendly haunters from the building before.

In the end the Ghostly Roommates were allowed to stay.