#middle of the night. early morning. explosions everywhere
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weirdlizard26 · 9 months ago
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its been two years by the way. fuck
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haveyouseenthisskeleton · 1 year ago
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How would ur skeles react to their s/o is sleeping. Its cute. Then, n their sleep they let out a explosive crazy fart. I mean, this fart can be heard n every corner of the home. Loudly and Clearly. They dont even wake up, only difference is theyre now snoring
??!!
That took me so offguard at 4 in the morning I had to answer it immediately. That's genius lol. I'll go with it's the middle of the night and skeleton is sleeping with them.
Undertale Sans - He jerks away in fear, looking everywhere around him when his eyes fall on you. Oh. Oh damn. This was something. Welp. That's why he marry you after all. He just kisses you on the cheek and goes back to sleep. What? It's all you wonder? Well not exactly as he will call you nothing but "Fartmaster" affectionately for two whole months and do the reverence every time he sees you. He's so in love. You hate him so much.
Undertale Papyrus - He sits in bed, quite in shock. Did you just do what he thinks you did? Oh my god. That's it. He's never cooking beans ever again for you. This is too much. He wakes up and starts his day early. God, he has to open the window too. When you wake up, he gives you a dark stare and pouts like a child, refusing to talk to you.
Underswap Sans - He chuckles, then can't hold it and howls with laughter. You wake up, annoyed, and half-sleep asks him why he's laughing. Blue just wheezes. He can't breath. And not just because he is laughing. God you smell. He needed that to calm down after his stressing day at work.
Underswap Papyrus - He screams, surprised in his sleep. Then he realises you did that. Oh, it's fine. Wait no, it's not fine! He throws himself out of the bed, screaming. He needs to evacuate! You don't question why he's suddenly running out of the room, opening every window on his way.
Underfell Sans - How could you not wake up to this??? That startles him. You sounded like a damn cave in. What is wrong with you? What the hell did you eat tonight? That's not a human sound! That's a damn earthquake! Oh my god. He's going to sleep in the couch. He can't close his eyes again. When he closes his eyes, all he can hear is your abomination of a fart.
Underfell Papyrus - He jumps on his feet, a bone in hand. Wh-what??? He looks at you, then becomes very pale when he realises what just happened. Even Doomfanger is agitated. He's going to be sick. He's going to take a shower to forget. As soon as he's gone, Doomfanger attacks you for being a weirdo.
Horrortale Sans - You managed to wake him up. That's quite a miracle as Oak is one of the heavy sleeper one. He looks around for threats, half asleep, but sees nothing and he is too tired so he brings you against him and nuzzles in your back. Then he sniffs. He slowly push you back to your side of the bed, and turns his back from you. Damn. You feel offended your pillow just pushed you away.
Horrortale Papyrus - He coughs, choking. He throws himself on the floor and crawls out of here. That's it. He's going to sleep with the chicken. At least they don't try to kill him in his sleep! What the hell??? He finds his brother in the corridor, looking at the ceiling with worry like it's going to fall on his head. "THIS IS FINE. S/O JUST TRIED TO KILL US."
Swapfell Sans - He wakes up, pissed off, and breaks his brother door with a powerful kick. "Rus! I fucking told you to stop playing with your stupid whoopee cushions at 3 am!" Rus opens a confused eye at him, deep asleep. "wha-?" "YOUR WHOOPEE CUSHIONS!" "my wha?" "Your... Wait you were asleep?" "yea. can i go back to sleep now?" Nox closes the door, confused. And goes back to the room. He takes out his phone and asks Google "if the whoopee cushion don't fart, what did?". He then reads the results, slowly turns to you with a dramatic expression and lets go a high pitch scream.
Swapfell Papyrus - He was recording you two to prove you that you're snoring. He is so glad he caught this on the mic. In the morning, you wakes up with a demonic echoed fat as an alarm. Rus replaced every sound he could with this. The microwave ding? A fart. The door ring? A fart. The sound the TV makes when it switchs on? A fart. Your life is now a nightmare.
Fellswap Gold Sans - He gives you an offended stare, makes your soul blue and yeets you out of the room. You crash in the stairs in a scream. Wine closes and locks the door to the room. You have no idea what just happened.
Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He instinctively hugs you to hide from whatever is making his sound. He then shakes you awake, begging you to wake up. You look at him. He whispers "i think there's a monster in the bed..." You stare at him. "... Well yeah." Coffee looks even more scared and starts to cry, crushing you in a hug. "I"m talking about you stupid. You're the monster in the bed." "... oh." "Yeah." "yea..." He calms down a bit after that, but he is still wary. This was not normal.
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tales-unique · 3 years ago
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FAITH, LOST VI
The softness got me like 😩 I hope you enjoy it! ♥
@maddi-bug & @chelseareferenced & @actual-trash-goblin
Chapter 6
Heisenberg is gone for longer than usual. It's to be expected, given how swift and intense the explosion was, only this time you're aware of just how much you miss him when he's not there. It’s cathartic, no longer having your feelings hidden in the deepest parts of yourself. Upon reflection, you realize that you enjoy the power struggle between the two of you and that there is no shame in it. Pleasure, you had come to learn, wouldn’t compromise your dignity or pride in yourself, and wasn’t something to be demonized or resented. Weightless from this revelation, your mind drifts to the last words he spoke before leaving you; we aren’t done here . Fire blooms in your stomach, dripping lower until you’re squirming where you sit cross-legged on Heisenberg's bed. Your skin still tingles from where he held you in his rough grasp, white noise erupting all over your body. It’s clear just what the phrase implies , but at the same time you have no exact idea what to expect when he returns and that’s part of what makes this all so thrilling . Though even with all the positive feelings that come with this, you can’t help but still feel conflicted. You find yourself lost in the moment, sent adrift in a vast ocean with no lifeline.
Now, it wasn’t as though you hadn’t had sex before, because you had. It was only once, in the hayloft of the village stables with a young man named Nicolai that you were fond of. He worked in the fields and you often saw him on your way to Church, where he’d smile and wink at you. He’d happened upon you when you’d lingered near the edge of the fields one day after morning Mass, bashfully accepting when he proposed that you go somewhere quieter together. You remember that his kisses were soft, but he was a little pushy, and once he was done that was it. No real connection, no real passion, just motion until you were both done, and even then you weren’t completely sure if you were done. Then a week later he was dead, mauled to death in that very same hayloft by a Lycan, along with a girl from your congregation named Irina. You can only imagine the reason why she was there with him that day. It sat, bitter like poison, within you for some time after their deaths, knowing that this hadn’t been the special thing you had been led to believe; this divine virtue that needed to be protected until you were lawfully wed, where all would finally make sense. Then you met Lord Karl Heisenberg and everything was suddenly turned on its head. Since you had come to the Factor you had been exposed to a more sexually charged and free environment, with Heisenberg's flirtatious teasing a regular occurrence, as well as his sarcasm and moods, culminating in the spark that set all this motion when he had you pinned to the desk in his office. You were given no room to avoid it, no chance to hide behind demureness and virtue, and because of that you were able to grow . You now embraced what this freedom could give you and it was all because of his pushing. At first it didn’t sit well with you, it squirmed and fought, but the disquieting sensation dissipated easily and you were left with an insatiable hunger for all things you had been denied, scandalous or otherwise. Biting your lip, a devious little thought fills your head; you needed to thank him when he came back.
When Heisenberg does come back to you it's already well into the night, and in anticipation of his return he finds that you’re not in your room when he looks, instead, amusingly, you’re actually in his . Sound asleep, you’re curled up on his bed with the sheets clutched in your dainty fingers up to your face. He watches from the doorway the rhythmic rise and fall of your chest as you breathe and the way your long lashes kiss your cheeks. You’ve clearly been busy while he was gone, having ordered the disheveled work desk to semi-neatness so he can at least still find his things. Straightened papers, pens put in the holder, lined his tools up for easy access. It’s something he doesn’t outwardly thank you for, but  has most certainly come to value. You don’t overstep, you merely aid, and it’s in these quiet moments of downtime that he realizes how much he appreciates the little things you do for him. Yes, it began with your faith and devotion to Mother Miranda and her decree for you to serve him, but he isn’t naive enough to believe that’s all there is to it. Not now, anyway. You don’t have to be caring towards him in your servitude, in your own little ways, like becoming annoyed with him when he tells you he hasn’t eaten all day or hasn't drunk enough water while working. Soft, kind-hearted things; things he isn’t used to. Trying to be as quiet as he can, Heisenberg walks over to where you lay, settling on the edge of the bed by your side. You squirm in your sleep as his weight dips the mattress but you don’t wake up, merely curling up tighter with a soft sigh. He watches your sleeping form with pinched brows, the uncomfortable intensity of yearning twisting knots within him. A hesitant hand comes to brush your cheek with his thumb, cupping it gently. Such tender affections were not something the Lord was known for, or used to receiving from others, given the magnitude of sins he had performed at the behest of his hatred for Miranda, her manipulations and betrayals, and his insatiable need to be free of the confinement he was forced into. Ulterior motives were second nature in his world, the lesson that kindness and affection were a means to an end instilled in him from an early age. Yet the compulsion, new and alarming, to give in to your motiveless warmth had wormed its way deep inside, threatening to shatter him from within. Not that he wasn’t trying to fight it, he was . Like a wild mustang refusing to yield to anyone, he twisted and pulled and snapped at the feeling, it’s tendrils repelled as much as he could, but he was slowly weakening to its constant attacks. It just wouldn’t leave him be . The realization was harsh and unforgiving that you are well on your way to becoming someone that would, in time, serve to weaken him, grinding down his walls just as the sea wears away the rocks on its shores until they resemble nothing of their former selves. The thought irks him and in a childish display of spitefulness he pulls his hand back from your face, lips curling into a snarl. His fingers burst with static, punishing him for prematurely cutting the contact, and he tries to smother the sensation by tightening his hand into a fist. It doesn’t help. He can still feel it and he hates that he misses it, like some love-sick pup! It ties his stomach in knots and sets his blood aflame. He’s hyper aware of you laying behind him, overwhelmed when you turn over and your knees press against his back. Lulled by your gentle, slumbering breaths, a calming serenade, Heisenberg’s hand slowly unfurls to rest on his leg. Though he’s still very much on edge. The dizzying free-fall into such conflicting emotions sends him nauseous, reeling from the sudden severity of it. You were just a weak, pathetic human , for fucks sake! You had no right to come barging into his life and start wrecking shit up with your pretty smiles and warm eyes! All those selfless moments he tries so desperately to poke holes in, only to find that they’re as sound as a concrete wall. It has him doubting, however minutely, the thought that everyone was out to get
him and that scared him. Quickly standing, he decides even being in the same room as you is too much. Everything is suddenly stifling, the heat cloying and making his throat burn. He doesn’t even check to see if he’s disturbed you as he exits the room, head throbbing mercilessly. There’s nowhere left in the factory that’s safe from your influence; the rooms smell of you, the hallways echo with your voice, his things marked by your touch — you’re everywhere , encasing him. And he doesn’t help that fact when he finds himself standing in the middle of your room. His keen senses are overwhelmed by the space, your space, but it isn’t so disarming this time. No, now he’s growing to like it against his better judgement. You’ll ruin him and he’s slowly coming around to the idea of letting you do it, too. It makes him sick, that thought, but it doesn’t really matter as he sits down on the couch where you sleep, fingers smoothing over the sheets you’ve neatly folded over it. There’s a twisted sense of irony in how he finds comfort in being surrounded by your things, as little as they are, when trying so desperately trying to get away from you. It doesn’t make sense, but since when did anything in his fucked up life? "Fuck," he moaned, the word drawn-out in his frustration as he laid his head back to stare up at the ceiling.
"Heisenberg?" The Lord tilts his head to look at where you stand in the doorway, your tender question alerting him to your presence. You're a picture of post-slumber beauty; hair dishevelled and fluffed up on one side from where you had been laying, eyes hazy with sleep, your top languidly slipping down one shoulder, creased from your rest. Your brow is pinched as you regard him, gently padding over to where he sits. "Sleeping Beauty finally wakes up, huh?" He chuckles, casually slinging his arm over the back of the couch. “Did you enjoy sleeping in my bed?” He teases with a smirk. “You were gone too long,” you retorted, fixing him with a tired glare, pulling your legs up as you settle down beside him, “and you don’t let me down into the lower levels with you, do you?” “I know, but this was serious,” Heisenberg sighed, his free hand coming to pinch the bridge of his nose, screwing his eyes shut in frustration, “one of the fucking conveyor lines decided to go ka-pow !” He punctuates his statement with a mimic of the explosion, both hands involved before dropping down limply. “It was jammed. I got it under control but the fallout was, well, messy ,” he explained, taking off his glasses and putting them aside on the couch arm, along with his tossed coat and gloves. You frown at the way he drags his hands down his face, sighing deeply. He’s exhausted and there’s nothing you can really do that you haven’t already tried. “At least it’s fixed now, yes?” You ask softly as you turn to sit cross-legged, facing him. You have a look of worry creasing your features and Heisenberg is quick to hide the rising emotion with his usual swagger. “Of course it is, why do you think I’ve been gone so long?” He scoffs, shaking his head. His leg begins to jiggle under the weight of your wary gaze, knowing that he’s not fooling you in the slightest. You’ve seen enough of him, the vulnerability he has, to know an act of bravado when he’s conjuring it. It’s unsettling to know that you have a means of undermining his power over you now, that you can call his bluff with somewhat decent accuracy, and he fully expects you to embrace that power. So when you gingerly move to nestle into his side, back resting against him with your head leaning against his arm where it lays slung across the back of the couch he’s pleasantly surprised. He should know better, you’ve always been soft . Even when you’re being fierce towards him and you blaze like a thousand suns it comes from a place of tenderness and care, something he doesn’t think he’ll ever truly understand about you. “I missed you.” It’s barely a whisper and even his keen hearing is strained to pick it up. There are a million sarcastic and teasing responses that he could choose from to say, and very much would have, if not for the fact that you’re right there , disarming him with a distant, non-threatening kind of affection that has him weak. It’s easier, he assumes, for you to not look at him when you tell him your truth and he’s grateful. Those big doe eyes, filled with gentle fondness, that you have when you’re being this way might just send him into overdrive at this point and he hasn’t yet come up with a game plan on how to deal with it. “Yeah?” It’s a simple response, but there’s a slight break to his voice that betrays the tempest of emotions swirling within. The air is charged with anticipation, a prickling static that is so close to erupting, all because you’ve got him going fucking soft . “Mhm,” you hum, pressing your feet into the cushions to distract yourself. Your face is ablaze with colour, your skin burning. To be so open, so raw , in such an intimate setting as this was completely foreign to you, and it didn’t help that the one you were experiencing it with was Lord Karl Heisenberg . A silence, pregnant with the onset of a coming storm, rolls over you both and you sit, listening to the sound of each other's breathing. Your heart is hammering in your chest, the hummingbird threatening to break free. White noise suddenly erupts across your body when you feel him shift, ever so slightly,
and his arm comes across your front to pull you closer. The movement is awkward, marred by a lack of experience with this kind of action, and you too have to move in order to be comfortable. It takes a moment or two but soon you both find a happy medium.You rest your cheek against his arm, nose lovingly brushing against one of the many raised, white scars that littered his skin. If only he could be so bold in this way. His body stiffens instinctively when you continue with your ministrations, resisting the urge to pull back, to push you away. His scars were a source of contention for him, among many other things, some known to you and some not, given how he had come to have them. But you didn’t seem to mind. That he now knew for sure from the way you lavished them with gentle attention, carefully tracing the lines with your dainty fingers. You even dare to press a gentle kiss to one that curls into his wrist, feeling the way his pulse jumps wildly under your lips. “I didn’t realise you had so many,” you murmur, looking over his arm with interest. He’s never spoken outright about them, but they were hard to miss. There was nary a patch of skin, seen or unseen, that didn’t have one of some kind, or so you presumed. You had no doubts in your mind that he would keep their origins from you and you wouldn’t presume to have leave to ask, but in this moment anything could be possible. Stranger things had already happened, after all. However, when he remains quiet you frown, pressing a lingering kiss to the spot, a silent apology for having been so prying. His pulse jumps again and suddenly you're pulled in closer, tighter. You gasp at the sudden shift, feeling him lean in, nosing your hair, taking in it’s scent. “You’re pretty brave tonight, huh?” He rumbled low into your ear, making you stiffen. He wanted to touch you, only this time it was different from before. It was driven by an unfamiliar desire to give intimacy as he had been given, to gain back the power you had taken. Or so he told himself. You were his, Mother Miranda had said as much when she gave you to him, but now he wanted to be yours , too. “I—” You swallow your nerves, turning so that you could look up at him with wide eyes, ���—did I go too far?” It was hard to know when you had crossed a line until you were already well beyond it, incurring his wrath, so you were understandably wary, and it irked him to know that he was the source of your constant insecurity. He really was a shitty person, like you had said before. “Not at all,” he stated, lips quirking in a smile at the way your gaze softened, a bashful smile crossing your face. This thing, whatever it was that you had, was a delicate, fragile little bloom that he was striving to keep, to protect . In his mind he knew there may not ever be another chance for something like this for someone like him and so he was determined not to lose it. Not to his siblings, not to that bitch Miranda, not to anything or anyone . This time the silence is more comfortable for the both of you, his fingers drumming a nonsensical tune on your arm as you rest against him — the last vestige of his anxiousness and nerves. You don’t hold it against him, instead allowing it to lull you into a peaceful doze. Your weight, like an anchor to his wayward ship, is pleasant and he finds that quietness can indeed be peaceful. With you at his side he’s grounded, electrified but contained. It’s surreal, but he’s addicted to the odd sensations your affection gives him. It’s nothing like the sexually charged tension of before but in some ways it’s even better . He doesn’t ever want it to end, you and him, in this still, secret moment, and that worries him to no end.
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someonestolemyshoes · 3 years ago
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The Keeper’s Introduction
Here is my fic for @levihan-drabbles Fluff Friday! 
Prompt: "I know I just broke into your apartment in the middle of the night but there are some bad people after my special power over alternate universes and I've decided to put all my faith on you to save everything."
They looked oddly at home, expertly navigating his kitchen. As though they had been there before. They grabbed the honeypot from another cupboard, and found a spoon in one of the drawers.
"Oi," Levi said. "How'd you know where I keep all my shit?"
The stranger waved their hand flippantly, "Oh, I'm well acquainted with your layout. It never really changes, wherever you are."
**
Levi had just settled in for the night when a loud echoing crack sounded in the street below.
It was well past midnight, far too late for such a racket. The sudden violence of it was almost enough to make him spill his tea. He waited with his breath held, his heart shamefully hammering in his chest. Levi prided himself on being the type who doesn't scare so easily—but one can't be blamed for being alarmed by an unexpected noise in the dead of night, can they?
The world remained mercifully still and quiet. Levi approached the open window slowly (carefully, not frightfully; there is no indignity in being cautious) and peered out into the night. The sky outside was almost full dark, saved from the pressing black by only a smattering of stars and the moon, a papery sliver of a thing hooked high over the distant rooftops. The window, open only an inch, gave entry to a gentle breeze, still balmy despite the lateness of the hour. The town was drowsy, dozing; only the occasional candle flickered in the darkness, and no sound, prior to or following the thunderous clap, could be heard.
The street, three stories below, was empty. Levi scanned the road, but found nothing unusual. The strangest thing, perhaps, was that his face was the only one peering out. None of his neighbours had deemed the explosion worth investigating.
It was, for all the world, a night as perfectly normal as any other. Levi had seen no reason to expect anything out of the ordinary might occur.
He blew out a breath. Maybe he had imagined it. He had been quite engrossed in his novel, and it was well past time for him to be sleeping. It isn't unreasonable to assume that the sound of a cat, perhaps, rattling the bins in the alley had startled his tired, occupied mind. Resolving to finish his chapter and go straight to bed, Levi gave the street one last cursory glance, and turned away from the window.
He had just settled back into his chair and picked up his tea cup and his book, when the doorbell rang.
The chime in itself was yet another oddity, for Levi received visitors only very rarely, and never at an hour so late as this.
He set down his drink and lowered the book to his lap with a frown. Better, he thought, not to answer straight away. Then they might leave without causing him any trouble—and if they rang a second time, and even a third, Levi would suppose it might be something urgent and might finally be pressed to receive his unwanted guest.
Much to his pleasure, the bell did not sound a second time. Levi waited, poised to stand, but minutes passed by with no sound at all, and eventually, mildly disgruntled now by the persistent interruptions, he settled back and tried, once again, to read.
He turned the page. Picked up his now lukewarm tea, and took a sip. Sunk down more comfortably into the plush armchair. He felt himself begin to settle. The peculiarities of the night drifted from his thoughts as he read, mind too engaged with the story in his hands to think too deeply over the strange events that had occurred.
And then, without any warning at all, a godawful shriek rent the air as Levi's window was wrenched open from the outside, the wood frame protesting with a violent screech. Levi jerked in his seat, book falling from his hands and his tea cup shattering as it struck the stone floor.
There was a person, making no efforts at all to be quiet, unashamedly clambering in through his window. Levi watched, too shocked to move, while they pulled themself over the sill and crumpled in a heap to the floor.
Levi could do nothing but stare as the intruder heaved themself up. They unfurled long limbs, straightening to their full height, and turned quickly to poke their head out of the open window. They looked left, then right, down, and most peculiarly, up, before pulling themself back inside and slamming the window closed. They drew the curtains shut, and turned to look into the room, casting their eyes about the place as though inspecting it.
They walked with a relaxed gate, seemingly unbothered by their rude intrusion. Levi couldn't be sure if they had noticed his presence, for they made no show of knowing he was even there, and Levi was still too stunned to announce it. He watched the stranger rotate in a slow circle, looking everywhere from the ceiling down to the floor. Satisfied, they slapped their hands to their hips and nodded once, and then their gaze fell on Levi, still sitting stiff as a board in his chair. The light from Levi's lamp cast half their face in shadow, glinting off the lenses of their glasses. Their mouth stretched in a wide, manic grin.
Levi swallowed hard. His courage returned to him swiftly, urging him to his feet. He faced the stranger head on with his face twisted in a scowl.
"What the hell are you doing?"
The intruder's grin only widened.
"Oh, Mike was right after all!"
They crossed to him quickly in two great strides. Levi twisted his head this way and that to watch them as they circled him. This close, Levi could better see the sharp hook of their nose, the angle of their jaw and the whiskey colour of their eyes, with strange, dark markings around their irises, like the face of a clock. He could also see the fingerprint smudges on their lenses. They wore all black, from their muddy boots up to the overlarge hood draped over their shoulders like a small cloak.
"Shitty four-eyes, answer me."
They let out a gleeful laugh.
"Oh, Mike my friend, you are a genius!" They said. And then, to Levi, they added, "Mike can sniff out you Guardians half a universe away, I swear."
Levi had no idea who Mike was, or what a Guardian was, and frankly, he didn't care. He levelled his home invader with a sharp glare. When he spoke again, it was through gritted teeth. "I said, what the hell are you doing climbing through my window? How? I’m three stories up!"
The stranger's smile finally faltered. They tilted their head. "I did try the doorbell."
"Why did you want to be in my house?"  
"Ah, well, you see—that's kind of a long story." They turned on their heel and strode into the kitchenette. Levi watched on, incredulous, as they filled his kettle with water and set it on the stove to boil. With one hand, they reached into the cupboard above the sink and rifled through the boxes until they found Levi's stash of chamomile tea, and with the other they reached for the draining board, and plucked up two clean cups by their handles. All of this, while they watched the water begin to simmer in the pot.
They looked oddly at home expertly navigating his kitchen. As though they had been there before. They grabbed the honeypot from another cupboard, and found a spoon in one of the drawers.
"Oi," Levi said. "How'd you know where I keep all my shit?"
The stranger waved their hand flippantly, "Oh, I'm well acquainted with your layout. It never really changes, wherever you are."
"The fuck is that supposed to mean, shitty glasses?" Levi tried to inject an air of disinterested anger into his tone, but the stranger’s words, said so plainly, raised goosebumps on his skin.
They chuckled. "I can't tell you how many times we've had this conversation. I'm Hange, by the way."
Hange brought the tea over to where Levi stood, and held one cup out for Levi to take. He clenched his fists by his sides instead. The tea, upsettingly, smelled perfect; brewed at the right temperature, for the right time, and sweetened with just a drop of honey. When he didn't take the cup, Hange shrugged and set it on the little table by the armchair. They spied the broken china on the floor and smirked, "you never have much luck with that one."
"Excuse me?"
"That cup. It's the one with the gold rim, right? And all the little forget-me-nots around the outside?"
Levi said nothing. Hange, irritatingly and unexplainably, for the cup was in many pieces now and the lighting was too poor to see it in any great detail, was absolutely right.
"You still haven't answered my question," he said.
"Right, right. Like I said, it's a long story. Do you want the unabridged version or are you happy with the footnotes?"
"A summary is fine."
Hange took a great slurp of their tea. "Long story short, I pissed off some very bad people, and now they are after me for my, ah—abilities."
"But why my house?"
"Mike told me where you'd be. And boy, am I glad he did! I barely made it in time. I was aiming to land right in your sitting room, but I guess my calculations were a little off…" they trailed away with a frown. Levi watched their lips work quickly, as though they were running numbers in their head. Then they stopped, and shook themselves off. "Doesn't matter now anyway. I didn't wake you, did I? World hopping can be pretty loud."  
That, at least, accounted for the sound Levi had heard outside. But...
"Hange," Levi said. "You've explained nothing."
"Give me a minute, Levi. It's complicated! There's a lot of history and I already know you don't want to hear any of it. Besides, we wouldn't have the time. We'll have to leave early in the morning."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Sure you are," Hange said. "I have to meet up with Erwin, and I need you to get me there."
"Where's there? Who the hell is Erwin?"
Again, Hange waved their hand at him. "Unimportant. Look, what matters is this: I might've messed with the timeline in another universe, and that may have caused some….upset, with some very important and very powerful people. I only changed a little bit!! I met this guy, Onyankopon—he's so cool, you know? Smart as hell. He had this idea that—well, it was the base model for an airplane."
"A what?"
"Well, see, that's the thing. Onyankopon asked the same question, and I just...told him. A little bit. I went a little too deep into the mechanics of it all, and he...well he might have developed a model that works. Two hundred years before it was supposed to exist in his universe. And now the Bureau is looking for me, but I’m not done with Erwin’s mission yet and so I am putting all my eggs in your basket. I need you to get me out of this in one piece.”
Hange looked more sheepish about this insane indiscretion than they had about breaking and entering.
"You're fucking insane," he said. Hange let out a bright laugh.
"So you've told me, more times than I can count."
Levi pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He felt a headache coming on.
"You look stressed," Hange said, sounding almost sympathetic. "Drink the tea! It'll help, though it's probably a little cold by now."
"You're the reason I'm stressed, idiot."
"Sorry about that," they said, not sounding very sorry at all. "I know the circumstances aren't...ideal. I'd much rather have come to you another time and explained everything properly, but—well, I was kind of in a hurry, and Mike sniffed you out, said you were the nearest you to my location. I didn't have much of a choice."
"Who the hell is Mike? Some kind of mutt?"
"Sort of," Hange said with a grin. "He's a Seeker. It's his job to locate people like you—people like us—when the Bureau needs us. Fortunately for me, Mike isn't overly loyal to our dear overseers—his allegiance lies with Erwin, as does mine. And Erwin is decidedly less strict about most of the timelines."
Hange circled around Levi and set their hands on his shoulders. Something strange sparked there, a heat that sunk through skin and muscle and settled right in his bones. They had already ushered him into his chair by the time he shrugged them off.
"What does any of this batshit garbage you're spewing have to do with me?"
"You are a Guardian. It's your role to protect people like me from harm."
"The hell does that mean, people like you? I’m not fighting anyone to save your scrawny ass from anything. You fucked up, you deal with it. "
Hange stood up straight and puffed out their chest. "I am a Keeper. I'm supposed to keep order in the timelines. According to the Bureau, at least. Erwin has other ideas—but that's a story for another time. For now, we should rest. Like I said, we've got to leave early in the morning."
"To go where?"
"To Erwin!" Hange said brightly. "I don't have my pocket watch anymore, so we're gonna have to take the traditional route. There's no way I'll make it on my own. And don’t worry, you won’t have to fight anyone. I’ll explain it all on the journey."
"Look,” Levi said. “Can't you just...drop out of the sky whenever this Erwin guy is? I'm sure he's got his own window you can climb through."
"No can do," Hange said. "I can only hop between universes. I need my watch to move fast within any one universe, and mine took a dunk in a river, during my escape."
"Magic bullshit technology that lets you, what, teleport across the damn globe? And it can't survive a dip in a river?"
"They aren't watertight," Hange said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "And they still run on batteries. Moblit is working on improving the technology."
Levi's head throbbed. He rubbed his eyes and glowered up at Hange, who was watching him with a soft smile. Levi deepened his scowl.  
"What's that shitty face for?"
Hange's expression softened further. They looked at him with so much fondness, Levi felt his face grow warm.
"I've missed you, you know," they said. "Well, not you, but—you. It's been...a really long time."
"That makes no sense," Levi said. He meant it, too—nothing Hange had said to him made sense at all. It was the stuff of storybooks, fairy tales; the product of an imagination run wild. And yet, Hange's presence, alarming as it had been and frankly still was, felt oddly familiar. The warmth of their hands still rested on his shoulders. In spite of himself, Levi felt the corner of his lip begin to curl into a small, absent smile. He wrestled it back down.
Hange laughed, a light, lilting thing, and yawned. They crossed the room to Levi's small dining table and dropped heavily into a chair.
"I suppose you're right," they said with a lazy grin. "It doesn't make any sense at all. You'll just have to trust me."
"You broke into my house. You're not selling your reliability very well. And don't even think about it."
Hange looked over at him, surprised. "Think about what?"
"Putting your filthy feet on my damn table."
"Whatever gave you the idea I'd do something like that?"
Levi opened his mouth to answer, but snapped it closed swiftly as the thought, which had come to him thoroughly unbidden, fully registered in his mind. You do it all the time.
Levi pinched his eyes, staring at Hange. They sat with a curious little tilt of their head, watching him with an open, analytical look. Levi squirmed under their gaze.
"I don't know," he said. "Seems like the kind of shit you'd do."
"Like something I've done before?"
Levi flinched, and Hange smiled all teeth at him, a strange mix of impish and pleased. They propped their elbow on the table and rested their chin on their palm. "There it is," they said quietly.
"What?" Levi asked. Too eager. Hange looked thrilled as they straightened up in their chair, eyes gleaming in the lamplight.
"There are a lot of you's, one in every single universe, just like there are a lot of Isabel's, and Farlan's, and Petra's—"
"How do you—you know what, nevermind. Go on."
"But because you're a Guardian, all your you's are linked. And because you're my Guardian," Hange looked weirdly proud at this pronouncement, "it's only natural that you remember me. It'll happen a lot, I'm sure. Try not to freak out."
Levi snorted. "You say that now?"
"Would it have made a difference if I said it earlier?"
Levi mulled that over for a second. No, he supposed it wouldn’t. He’d have thought them completely unhinged either way. Instead of answering, he picked up the tea from the table and drained it in three gulps. When he looked back at Hange, they were smiling brightly at him.
"Just how you like it, right?"
"I prefer it hot."
Hange kicked their heels against the floor and shot him an affronted look. With a petulant pout of their lip, they said, " So unfair, Levi! That's not my fault."
He shrugged them off. He would never admit it to them, but he took some bizarre delight in watching Hange's tantrum. It felt all too natural. They slumped back in their chair, head tipped over the back rest to stare at the ceiling.
"Ah, you're as cruel as ever," they said. "It's good. Very you."
Hange pushed their glasses up to their forehead and rubbed at their eyes. The scene looked painfully familiar; Hange, smiling sleepily, bleary eyed in the low blush of candlelight. Only, in the image forming in his mind, they were resting against a plump, well-fluffed pillow, and their hair was down from its ponytail, still messy and falling over their face. In the image forming in his mind, Levi's own hand reached out to brush a few strands from their cheeks, and Hange turned into his palm, their lips brushing the sensitive skin there.
Levi shook his head, face a little warm. Hange was watching him again. He scowled at them for good measure, gathering up his own cup and theirs, and washing them in the sink. He let the water run cool over his hands for a long moment.
"You should rest, if you're tired," he said. From the table, Hange hummed.
"Good idea," they said. "The bed's big enough for two, right?"
Levi turned sharply to refute them, but Hange didn't give him the chance. They had already heaved themself up out of their chair and kicked off their boots, and now, with the practiced ease of someone who had lived in the house for years, they were wandering down the hall and straight into Levi's bedroom, leaving the door open behind them.
Levi dried his hands slowly on the dish towel. He looked at the armchair, big and well-cushioned, spacious enough for him to recline in for a few hours rest. It wouldn't be the first time, and he had no doubt it would be the last. And then he looked down the hallway, where Hange must have lit the lamp; warm light spilled out into the corridor, and Levi was reminded abruptly of his strange thoughts.
This Hange, they were crazy. Talking the most nonsense Levi had ever heard come straight from another person's mouth. He would be better off resting his eyes in his chair, and kicking Hange out at first light.
That was the logical thing to do. The reasonable thing. That was the desperate plea of his better judgement.
Instead, he blew out his lamp, and stormed down the hallway after them.  
"You lie on my fresh sheets in your filthy clothes and I'm throwing you back out the window, Guardian or not."
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linkemon · 3 years ago
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Bakugō Katsuki  x Reader (selfship)
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Selfship made for Sus-Chan on Wattpad, Order was split into two parts. You can read the other part here.
Friendly reminder that English is not my first languge. You can check my Masterlists both in English and Polish here.
• You went with Katsuki to the same elementary school in Musutafu but you were never close. You hung out with your group and he had his friends. Therefore, the more you appreciated the changes that took place in his character because you met again in high school.
It didn't spark between you right away. You started talking a lot more after the school festival. Your relationship had its ups and downs and certainly a lot of fights.
• Bakugo likes to play computer games with you. He enjoys good competition. Katsuki will do anything to win against you. He will call you a loser if you fail and when you win he will demand a rematch.
• Bakugo often calls you an idiot but if someone would try to do the same he would just punch them. He is very sensitive in this matter. He won't let anyone else talk badly about you whether it's about quirk, appearance or something else. He prefers using force. After all, he was not born with his quirk so he couldn't use it...
• Bakusquad knew right away when you became a couple. These people have been waiting for a whole school year for you to get together. They made fun of you a lot. They even made bets on who would be the first to confess. It was Bakugo to their sincere surprise (Denki won all the money). He's not very romantic. He just tossed in a sentence like: Come on a date with me! I'll be the best boyfriend you deserve!
He was sweating glycerine ou of fear (although he would not admit it) which caused a small explosion. You don't mention it to anyone.
• Not everyone knows this but he is a great cook. Until now, he has rarely used his skills but since you became a couple he has been using them more often. He's learned knife tricks since camp so he can brag about them to you.
Katsuki remembers you don't like spicy foods. For some dishes he specially cooks two versions so that you can eat them without any problems. He has a secret spice mix just for you. You even gave him an apron with the words Best Chef as a gift. He wears it proudly and yells at anyone who finds it funny.
• You watch horror movies on 1A movie nights. At first, he made fun of your fear of them but in the end he just pulled you closer to him. He smiled as you nestled against his shoulder, closing your eyes. For you, he would kill all zombies, vampires and clowns...
• The boy is not the best student, but he knows he is aware that he has to know something to become a better hero.
If you draw in an important lesson, you'll be nudged to stop. Outside of that he would love to join in your scribbles in the margins of notebooks. You paint caricatures of teachers and villains.
He admires your work. He boasts to everyone he knows. He also remembers stories related to them.
At the school exhibition, he was supposed to show people around because he has no talent in this matter. Your art was the first one even though it was in the middle of the row at the start.
• He wakes you up in the dormitory early in the morning and you start training together. Most of your dates are about empowering yourself to be better heroes. You run around the U.A. and on pass even though you don't live close to each other. You don't miss any morning unless you really have to.
• Bakugo believes that your power is great and looks forward to its further development. He says your yellow eyes work well with his red ones. He buys clothes and accessories to emphasize their colour.
He is not afraid to show you his greatest fear. He must overcome obstacles to become stronger. The only thing that annoys him is when the rest of the class sees it too. Then he gives twice as much of himself so that they would not mistake him for a weak person.
• It's hard not to be the centre of attention when you're with this guy. He's loud and everywhere. At least that takes people's eyes off you a bit.
• He doesn't like showing affection in public. He does it when no one is watching. He likes kisses the most. He is spontaneous and not always gentle...
• Katsuki can be difficult but it is worth all the suffering. He keeps changing and you see it every day. He will grow up in a while. You believe he will become the great Number One hero. He already said you have to compete with him for this place. He tries to be better not only for his goal but also for you.
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collisiondiscourse · 4 years ago
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somewhere in between (bkdk drabble)
(for the bed-sharing and fake dating prompts on the post where i asked for cliche prompts to turn into prose :D @tired-and-clumsy @theyeeyeetbois​ @merwholockian-404)
When Katsuki dreams, he walks the line between bliss and heartbreak.
He walks it like he walks down the familiar streets of Musutafu at night, walks it like he walks the halls of UA years after he’s graduated, walks it like he walks everywhere.
He walks it like he owns it.
In the middle between slumber and consciousness, he dreams of paradoxical visions that make his head spin and his mind scream. Katsuki dreams like a dying man’s vision of oasis. He dreams of all the things he cannot reach and the deepest secrets that no one else has ever tried to. Blindly, he dreams like he is a man with everything and nothing all at once.
In those dreams, he is fine.
The dim early morning light shines through the window and besets its orange glow unto ruby eyes struggling to pry themselves open. Katsuki squints, staring belatedly at the stripes of sunshine that peak past the blinds. Dust motes float in the air like the thoughts that drift and stir in his head and he buries the side of his face back into his pillow.
Katsuki looks down and finds a much brighter sight.
Warm hands. Warm body. Messy, fluffy hair. Freckles and freckles and freckles and freckles--endless constellations of little dots that when traced could spell out the secrets of the universe. Katsuki wants to count them all. Katsuki wants to count them forever. 
He thinks he’s never been in a comfier, safer place than in these tan, scarred arms. 
Deku continues to snore peacefully in his cuddled position, green curls pressed underneath Katsuki’s chin. His chest rises and falls with steady breaths--each repetition a tiny miracle in the eyes of someone who’s seen the hero flatline too many times to be comfortable. Absently (wishfully) the blond runs his fingers up and down the smaller man’s sides.
“There’s only one bed,” Deku explains. He says something about a cover as a couple and how they need to stay close by each other. Mirio adds something to the mission briefing that Katsuki doesn’t catch because his mind is too stuck on the concept of sharing a bed with Deku.
He’s saved Japan. And the world. Probably multiple times over if you’re looking at impact more than setting. Katsuki’s legacy is spread far and wide and he highly doubts that no one understands having the world on your shoulders quite like he does.
But right now, he holds his entire universe in an embrace.
In this period--this twilight between reality and his dreams, Katsuki can pretend for just a moment that its like this everyday. He can pretend for a moment that the way his heart stops and his chest aches with want is normal and free and that this death grip the man below him has over his heart is something they are both allowed. In his dreams, Katsuki can pretend he has everything that he wants and everything he will ever need.
It’s frustrating.
The way his dreams make him feel like the happiest man on Earth and the most pathetic fuck in history. The way his dreams confine him to the corner of his mind that allows himself to long for something he can’t have. The way that dreams are dreams and reality is reality but somehow his mind still finds a way to blur them both.
The way that his dreams also feel like nightmares.
“I hope this doesn’t get weird,” the green-haired hero jokes. He pushes the blankets aside and sits down on the bed gingerly (even if they’re only a few feet apart, Katsuki feels like there’s a mile-long rift between the two of them). “We used to do this all the time as kids anyway, you’ll still be my best friend in the morning.”
Because in these dreams, Deku reaches out for him. He grabs his sleeve and nuzzles in closer, saying Kacchan in that cute way of his like it’s simultaneously a prayer and an answer. In these dreams, Katsuki is free to hold him close and kiss him until he’s breathless and panting and unable to this of anything but of love and joy. In these dreams, Katsuki can hold scarred hands and feel the cool press of a gold ring hum against the warmth of his palm.
Hands so finely attuned to destruction. To hurting. To creating explosions that could level cities and kill dozens. Those hands would be intertwined with ones that have reached out for years. Yes, in his dreams, Katsuki is allowed to never let go.
There’s a gap in his chest, both literally and figuratively. He has died, is dying, and will die for the man in his arms more than a thousand times over but it is still somehow only in his dreams (only in his sleep) that he can manage to admit those three words. Those three words that he’s been holding inside of his heart since the day he misread the name of his heart’s keeper. It is only in his dreams that he can reach out and never let go. It is only in his dreams that those gaps are filled. It is only when Katsuki lets himself dream that he truly lives.
So in the dim light of the morning, under the sheets that are the barrier between reality and fantasy, straddling the line between bliss and heartbreak.
Katsuki lets himself dream.
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nurvuss · 3 years ago
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I Watched the First Episode of Every New Spring 2021 Anime Airing on Crunchyroll
Hey, are you like me, and feeling like you're not getting the most out of your Crunchyroll subscription? Sure, there's stuff on there that you know you like. But whenever I look at the big long list of simulcasting shows, my eyes glaze over and I don't even know where to begin.
I wanted to change my habits and see if there were any shining gems that I should be watching. So, as per the title, I watched the first episode of every new Spring 2021 anime on Crunchyroll. And guess what? There’s a lot of crap! But indeed, there’s some stuff that’s worth your time.
Some clarification: I've only watched shows that began their first season in April 2021.
Backflip!!
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The Lowdown
As Futaba Shotaro comes to the end of middle school, his interest in baseball has begun to wane. Soon he notices the Ao High Boys Gymnastic Club and becomes enthralled, especially after seeing them perform. Once he learns they're down two members, he chooses to sign up and pursue the art of gymnastics. The club is also joined by Misato Ryoya, a star solo gymnast looking to expand his technique through teamwork.
Our Thoughts
Pretty formulaic shoujo sports anime: you've got your himbo, your thug, your ladies' man, your stoic guy, with Shotaro rounding out the cast as the shy and awkward audience surrogate. It looks wholesome enough, and the choreographed routines employ CG in a way that's quite convincing without being hideous.
Who It's For
Fans of  FREE, or Yuri!!! on Ice, or any similar shows about cute boys who succeed at athletic feats. 
Borscht Rating
Burning Kabaddi
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The Lowdown
Legendary high school soccer star Yoigoshi Tatsuya has given up on sports! That is, until he's blackmailed to join the high school kabaddi team, under threat of his online persona being leaked to the entire school. Although Tatsuya initially writes kabaddi off as stupid, the unexpected happens as he begins to have fun.
Our Thoughts
Kabaddi is kinda like competitive tag, or dodgeball but with your body instead of a ball. Burning Kabaddi is basically the shounen alternative to Backflip!! above, replete with nosebleeds, pratfalls, and dudes punching each other. The main cast don't seem to like each other very much; that probably changes as the show goes on but at first blush it's a dynamic I always find annoying.
Who it's For
Fans of Haikyuu!!? Maybe?
Borscht Rating
CARDFIGHT!! VANGUARD overDress
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The Lowdown
The newest series based on Bushiroad's collectible card game, featuring character designs by the beloved collective CLAMP. Petit middle schooler Yu-Yu just doesn't know how to say no. As his older students dress him in drag to use as live makeup practice, he suffers a panic attack and flees into the streets. After being accosted by a pickup artist, he's befriended by Megumi, who invites him to witness a Cardfight match at the local abandoned amusement park. However, Yu-yu is too shy to tell Megumi he's actually a boy…
Our Thoughts
What an unexpectedly weird concept for a show about a card game. Our hero spends the whole episode in drag, whimpering and simpering at the sight of any conflict. Then they show off the latest series of cards, which all seem to be giant buff knights with names like "Bad Steve" and "Violent Bruce". Your guess is as good as mine.
Who it's For
Cardfight!! lovers, Japanese gender studies majors, or the most desperate fujoshi. 
Borscht Rating
Cestvs: The Roman Fighter
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The Lowdown
The year is 54AD, and Nero has taken the throne as the youngest emperor of Rome. At the bottom of the population, Cestvs is a young slave training to be a colosseum boxer. Reluctant, his only choice is to fight or die.
Our Thoughts
Seeing Nero depicted as a gentle little twink is pretty funny. It's also pretty funny that the central character is named after a Roman boxing glove. The animation style transitions to some very uncanny CG when a major fight takes place, and I didn't like that one bit! This seems like a pretty average tournament anime but with a historical setting. It's currently unknown if any of these dudes are fucking each other. I'm gonna say probably.
Who It's For
The venn-diagram of Greco-Roman history buffs and lovers of tournament series?
Borscht Rating
Don’t Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro!
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The Lowdown:
Hachioji Naoto is a nerdy, introverted student who spends his time studying and avoiding socialising. When pages from the fantasy manga he's drawing fall out of his bookbag, they catch the attention of a younger student named Nagatoro Hayase. Nagatoro begins to tease Naoto for his otaku interests and awkward demeanour, peppered with some suggestive flirting.
Our Thoughts:
What would you do if a younger girl flirted with you? Would you cry? Piss your pants maybe? Maybe shit and cum? Don't Toy With Me… attempts to barely conceal its BDSM fantasy with its comedic elements, but it's incredibly apparent as Nagatoro always wipes away Naoto's tears as a sort of aftercare. It's like a lighter, comedic version of Aku no Hana, but lacking any of the ponderings or danger that made that work so special.
Who It's For: 
People who search Pornhub for "bratty sister femdom".
Borscht Rating:
86 Eighty-Six
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The Lowdown
The Republic of San Magnolia and the Giad Empire, have been at war for nearly a decade. Using advanced military technology, the frontlines are fought by giant mecha drones called Juggernauts, controlled remotely by Handlers. Major Vladilena Mirizé is one of the military's most talented Handlers in the 1st District, and one who is constantly teased by her peers for the humanity and empathy she shows her squadron. The government line is that drone warfare has kept casualties to zero, but unbeknownst to the public these "drones'' are piloted by 86ers—the lowest class of citizens, forced to live in military internment camps in San Magnolia's 86th District.
Our Thoughts
This is incredibly my kind of thing. We've got a dual narrative being set up here: Vladilena as the kind, reluctant officer of a fascist regime, and the Bad Company-esque antics of her new ragtag squad, Spearhead. The first episode is split pretty evenly between the two, with each story converging at the end as Vladilena "meets" Spearhead for the first time through her comms station. It's an explosive and enticing first episode, and I can't wait to watch more of it.
Who It's For
Fans of Fullmetal Alchemist, Psycho-Pass, Gundam, or any number of anti-imperialist war stories.
Borscht Rating
Fairy Ranmaru
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The Lowdown
In a quiet corner of the city sits Bar F, a modest drinking establishment staffed entirely by five hot young men. Unbeknownst to the general population, these men are a crack team of fairies sent to the human world to gather the latent energy of "attachment". They do this by solving the problems of young women, taking their hearts in the process.
Our Thoughts
Hubba hubba, a little something for the ladies! It's Weiẞ Kreuz with a bar instead of a flower shop, fairies instead of assassins, and some pretty revealing outfits. There's definitely a little Persona 5 inspiration here too, from the punctuating phrase "Take your Heart!" to many of the visual cues. Make of that what you will.
Who It's For
Fans of Weiẞ Kreuz, slash fic authors.
Borscht Rating
Farewell, My Dear Cramer
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The Lowdown
Onda Nozomi was once the star player of her middle school football team. Completely unmatched, she no longer plays as there's no opponent she deems to be on her level. Meanwhile Suou Sumire far outpaces her teammates, causing her frustration. By a twist of fate, these two girls find themselves joining the scrappy Warabi Seinan High School FC as they begin to learn the value of teamwork and friendship.
Our Thoughts
I don't know sports. And I really don't know football. I had to look up what the title meant, and now I barely know who Dettmar Cramer is. I'm really not the best person to judge this, but it seems like a pretty good female-driven sports anime. 
Who It's For
Fans of Ace o Nerae! or other sports manga/anime about those ever burning bonds between young teammates.
Borscht Rating
Gloomy, the Naughty Grizzly
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The Lowdown:
Pitty lives with his pet Gloomy, a massive pink bear. Can a boy and a bear truly get along?
Our Thoughts:
This is a series of minute-long gag episodes in which Gloomy mauls Pitty and blood squirts everywhere. It's definitely meant to be a morbid parody of Sanrio or San-X; it might be a Rilakkuma parody in particular? Gloomy is the kind of thing you might laugh at if it came on in between shows, but it's pretty slight to go through the trouble of putting on.
Who It's For:
Gag anime fans with one minute to spare.
Borscht Rating:
Higehiro: After Being Rejected, I Shaved and Took in a High School Runaway
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The Lowdown
After a night of drinking in Tokyo, slovenly salaryman Yoshida encounters a teenage runaway sitting under a lamppost. She offers to sleep with him in return for letting her spend the night in his apartment. Yoshida refuses her offer but allows her to stay. The next morning the girl, Sayu, reveals she's travelled all the way from Hokkaido, sleeping with random men in return for lodging and money. Feeling responsible for her safety, Yoshida agrees for Sayu to stay indefinitely in return for handling household chores.
Our Thoughts
This is kind of the inverse of Koikimo (see below), but without a scumbag character and from a male perspective. It's not nearly as nauseating as that show, but it's still a fantasy about living with a busty teenage girl.
Who It's For
Libertarians.
Borscht Rating
I've Been Killing Slimes For 300 Years And Maxed Out My Level
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The Lowdown: 
Office lady Aizawa Azusa dies of overwork in her early 20s, and finds herself standing before a lecherous goddess. Allowed a wish as compensation for her untimely demise, Azusa wishes for an endless life of leisure. The goddess reincarnates her as a 17-year-old immortal witch in an RPG-coded fantasy world. Thrilled, Azusa lazes about, brewing potions for her neighbouring villagers, and kills a small amount of slimes each day to supplement her income. After doing this every day for 300 years, she inadvertently finds herself at Level 99. Her peaceful life is soon upended as adventurers and dragons come from miles around to challenge the legendary witch.
Our Thoughts:
I'm not really an isekai fan, and that goes double for series which aren't set in an RPG, yet use RPG mechanics. Levelling up, grinding stats, min-maxing, as if it's a part of the fabric of the setting. I don't get it. I like watching numbers go up as much as the next dork, but I don't need to watch numbers go up in absolutely every piece of media I consume. Just play a fucking video game, Jesus Christ almighty.
I thought this might be setting up a fun series in which a layabout is reluctantly called upon to undertake a dangerous quest, but I don't think that's what's going on at all. When the red dragon Laika wrecks Azusa's house, she transforms into a cute young girl and the two begin living together, teaching each other the pros and cons of hard work and slothfulness respectively. The trajectory of the series might be as laid back as its protagonist in the end, which, ultimately, would be fitting.
Who It's For:
Isekai fans, slice-of-life fans. The twain have met!
Borscht Rating:
Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood
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The Lowdown
In alternative history Japan the Meiji Period continued well into the 1930s, and the ongoing Tokugawa Shogunate has brought technological prosperity to the nation through a magical energy source called the Dragon's Vein. Sawa Yukimura runs a bookshop where she lives with her little sister by day, but by night she's an assassin for Nue, the shogunate's secret police. As the terrorist group Kuchinawa deploys transforming beasts in an attempt to topple the shogunate, Nue springs into action with their own abilities.
Our Thoughts
There are a lot of concepts competing here, and a few too many flashy transformation sequences for my taste, but I'm really into it! Nue are made up of sex workers and street musicians, often overlooked and therefore easily able to blend in. There's a supernatural Standalone Complex vibe to how the team operates, and they're almost assuredly on the wrong side. Worth a shot!
Who It's For
Fans of alternate history science fiction, Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex, Demon Slayer.
Borscht Rating
Koikimo: Koi to Yobu ni wa Kimochi Warui ("It's Disgusting to Call This Love")
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The Lowdown
Amakusa Ryo is a womanizing salaryman concerned with nothing but his own base desires. As he slips on the train station stairs one morning, he's saved by the swift action of Arima Ichika, a kind-hearted high schooler. When it turns out Ichika is friends with Ryo's younger sister Riou, he decides she's his soulmate, and begins to pursue her no matter how many times she refuses him. Comedy ensues!
Our Thoughts
Yeah, OK groomer.
Alright look, Korikimo is written by a woman and told from Ichika's perspective, so this is obviously meant to be a lighthearted "older man" shoujou romance. As an older man, all I saw were the adventures of a paedophile and the teenager he's stalking. Fuck off.
Who it's For
There's probably other stuff like this, right? If you like that, here you go.
Borscht Rating
Let's Make a Mug, Too
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The Lowdown
After the death of her mother, Himeno and her father relocate from bustling Tokyo to quiet Tajimi City in Gifu Prefecture. The former salaryman opens a quiet cafe using the remarkable mugs made by his late wife, while Himeno follows in her mother's footsteps and joins the school pottery club. Although her first project ends in disaster, Himeno makes fast friends with the eccentric pottery enthusiasts who make up the club.
Our Thoughts
It's no Eizouken, but I guess it's probably not meant to be. I'm not a big iyashikei genre fan, but if that's your thing, you might enjoy the wholesome non-adventures of three girls trying to make a mug. It's worth noting these episodes are only about 12 minutes long, with the remaining runtime segmented into live action episodes where the voice actresses tour Tajimi and unconvincingly pretend to be interested in Gifu's famous mino-yaki pottery. I think this must be a tie-in with a local tourist board. 
Who It's For
People who enjoy stuff like Aria, actually.
Borscht Rating
OddTaxi
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The Lowdown
In a Tokyo populated by anthropomorphic animals, a solemn walrus named Odokawa spends his nights driving his cab around the bustling metropolis, spending his free time drinking with his pals. Odokawa soon finds his quiet life disrupted by a caper involving a missing girl, some crooked cops, and the animal yakuza. 
Our Thoughts
A deft blend of working class slice-of-life with mystery, cute animals, and striking visual design. OddTaxi might be the sleeper hit of Spring 2021.
Who It's For
Fans of existentialist film noir with absurdist comedy, Polar Bear Cafe, walrus lovers.
Borscht Rating
Osamake: Romcom Where The Childhood Friend Won't Lose
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The Lowdown
Suehiro Maruo Sueharu Maru has his heart set on Shirokusa Kachi, the hottest girl in school. When she begins dating a young actor, Sueharu confides in his childhood friend Kuroha Shida, who's openly in love with him and he rejected in the past. Kuroha suggests the two get revenge on Shirokusa by pretending to be in love. Will Sueharu fall in love with Kuroha for real, making her dreams come true?
Our Thoughts
Give me a fucking break.
Who It's For
I don't know and I don't care.
Borscht Rating
SD Gundam World Heroes
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The Lowdown
The newest instalment of the SD Gundam media-mix franchise. In a world populated by super deform mecha, a burning meteor lands in the middle of Captain City. From it launches a terrible mechanized beast: Naughty Lion. When the police are powerless to stop it, a crack team led by Zhuge Liang Gundam and Liu Bei Gundam sorties to bring Naughty Lion to justice. When the beast stops rampaging, it transforms into Sun Wukong Gundam, a youthful amnesiac mecha horrified at the destruction he wrought. The Three Kingdoms Gundams welcome Sun Wukong into the fold to make sense of this mysterious event.
Our Thoughts
I'm an 80s kid, I know a 30-minute toy commercial when I see one.
No, seriously though, I'm aware of SD Gundam's merchandising—they're cute designs, and I even used to have a bunch of the gum rubber mini figurines. I've played the SD Great War Super Famicom games, they're fun! This is a vehicle to get kids hyped up about the latest toys, which are...based on  a hodgepodge of Journey to the West and Romance of the Three Kingdoms this year? There's even a little SD Guan Yu Gundam with a big long beard!
I kinda wanted to like the idea of a bearded robot, but the mechas are super busy and overdesigned. I guess there's only so much you can do to make your next series of toys bigger and better, so these guys are all decked out in gold accents, capes, horns, and antlers, and half the time I couldn't parse what I was seeing.
I'm so glad I don't have to watch any more of this. 
Who It's For
Very, *very* young mecha fans.
Borscht Rating
Seven Knights Revolution: Hero Successor
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The Lowdown
Long ago, the Dark God Nestra ruled the world through fear. Standing against him were the Seven Knights, seven brave warriors chosen by the Light Goddess Serrass. With their powers combined, Nestra was defeated and the lands returned to peace. Hundreds of years later the wicked Physis Cult seeks to revive Nestra, summoning undead beasts to ravage the countryside. With the Seven Knights long dead, the Granseed Academy has risen to train the next wave of heroes to combat this threat. Using special cards, the students of Granseed are able to call upon the power of the Seven Knights to guide them in battle.
Our Thoughts
As soon as the opening started with its transforming heroes and lovingly depicted weapon cards, I realised this must be based on a mobile game. Indeed, this is based on a free-to-play gacha from Korean developer Netmarble. Even before I was able to confirm this, Hero Successor failed to draw me in, eschewing details on the nature of its world in lieu of a glamourised marketing push for its source material. What's here is incredibly slight, and likely to be of little interest to anyone who isn't deep into this game.
Who It's For
Seven Knights whales, I guess.
Borscht Rating
Those Snow White Notes
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The Lowdown
Sawamura Setsu mourns the death of his grandfather Matsugorou, a talented shamisen player who refused to pass his secrets on. Not knowing what else to do, he leaves his remote village for Tokyo, taking nothing but his shamisen along with him. Soon he finds himself wrapped up in the complicated life of aspiring actress Yuna and her scuzzy rockstar boyfriend Taketo. When Setsu opens for Taketo's band, he stuns the audience with the raw emotion of his playing. However, his heart is still tumultuous. 
Our Thoughts
An entertaining first episode of a speciality music series, which is the kind of thing I have a place in my heart for. I couldn't shake the feeling of some latent misogyny that suggested the role of a woman is to inspire a tortured artist, but I might be wrong. The final few minutes take a twist by introducing Setsu's weird, horny mother who seems to have her own personal SWAT team, and it looks like the series becomes a more conventional high school anime from episode 2 onwards. Don't know about that!
Who It's For
Fans of Kids on the Slope, Sound of the Sky.
Borscht Rating
Tokyo Revengers
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The Lowdown
Former delinquent Takemichi is unsatisfied with the way his life turned out, living alone in a paper-thin apartment and working a minimum wage job under a boss who doesn't respect him. When watching the news one evening, he learns that his highschool sweetheart Hinata was killed, alongside her little brother. On the way to work the next morning, Takemichi falls in front of an oncoming train and wakes up 12 years in the past. Armed with foreknowledge, he attempts to turn his life around and save his onetime lover.
Our Thoughts
This is drawing from a lot of sources; the whole train sequence is lifted straight from Gantz, while the story itself initially seems like a Life on Mars kind of deal. In fact, Tokyo Revengers sees Takemichi jump back and forth between the present and the past, seemingly making small changes until he achieves his desired outcome. It feels like a very video gamey depiction of time travel, and one that's not super interesting.
Who It's For
Steins;Gate fans, maybe? Delinquent manga (Shonan Junai Gumi, Crows, etc.) fans, maybe? It's pretty self-serious compared to any of those.
Borscht Rating
To Your Eternity
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The Lowdown
An immortal being in the form of an orb falls to earth and becomes a stone. Years pass, an ice age sets in, and a white wolf stumbles onto the tundra and dies. The orb, able to take the form of anything that leaves a strong impression on it, transforms into the wolf and slowly learns how to use its newfound ambulatory body. The creature treks back through the tundra where it meets a boy living alone, after the rest of his village left in search of a better life. The boy recognises the wolf as his beloved pet, Johann, and the two begin living together in the harsh, lonely wastes.
Our Thoughts
I'm being a little coy with the synopsis here, and there's a major shake-up at the end of this debut episode. This one's based on a manga by the critically acclaimed Yoshitoki Ooima (A Silent Voice), and it's a depressing, compelling, and exciting start to a series. Lots of potential here!
Who It's For
Fans of NieR, Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon, Last Exile, Kino's Journey.
Borscht Rating
So, there you have it. I'm hoping this will be of use to anyone who experiences a similar sense of dread when faced with so many choices. Maybe we’ll do this again during the Summer 2021 anime season.
Also, please don't get mad at me if I'm snarky about your new favourite show! It’s just TV and I'm a big idiot anyway.
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biscuit-buddy · 5 years ago
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Vampire Todoroki Family x Reader
Now that bakuboi’s bday is over I can post this 👀 thanks to @lord-explosion-baku for fueling the thirst and @russianonion for editing my mess 💕
You were an orphan, plucked from the streets at an early age by a stranger with far too much money and placed into the care of several women. One of whom was the quiet and motherly Rei. She raised you to be the perfect woman, according to her boss’ standards. The perfect wife. On the day of your eighteenth birthday, the otherworldly man who employed your caretakers came to whisk you away.
It turns out your upbringing had a purpose after all, as he introduced you to his youngest son Shouto, your soon to be husband. Shouto wasn't fond of you at all, often remarking that you reminded him far too much of his mother and choosing to ignore your presence in the main house entirely. You continued to cook and clean and endure the strangeness of the entire situation.
Once a month, the large man you now knew as Enji Todoroki would host a family dinner consisting of you, your fiance, and his two older brothers. The oldest brother Touya didn't live at the main house with the others, and the relation between him and his father was tense.
You had always known something was off about the Todoroki family, but it wasn't until one of these family dinners and the arguments that usually accompanied them when Enji had bared his fangs, yes actual fangs, that you manage to put two and two together. They were vampires. You had confronted the softer middle child, Natsuo, about this one night and he confirmed the fact. Not only were they vampires, but that they had every intention of turning you into one as well.
Knowing this gave you both peace of mind and a whole new set of things to fear. Feeling your tension, Natsuo had gifted you a book on vampire lore, in which he highlighted several interesting facts. One is that once a vampire changes a human, said vampire has complete ownership over their creation. Obviously, the plan was for Shouto to be the one to change you and take you as his bride but what if...? No, you couldn’t possibly turn brother against brother like that, it was wrong.
Little did you know, it was the kind man’s intention all along to plant that idea in your head. He may not have been bold enough to tell you, but he was certainly cunning in his own way. However, bold himself came crashing in one family dinner. Touya was feeling especially fiery today, sending winks and lewd jokes your way just to see the pretty blush that dusted your cheeks. Your stoic fiance paid no mind to these advances, which only fueled him more. After dinner, Touya cornered you in the kitchen and pressed you up against the counter.
“Come on pretty baby, you really think little Sho could take better care of you than I can?” he whispered into your ear, punctuating his question with the tiniest of nips to your lobe. Before you could even think of a proper response, a growl ripped through the air and Touya was promptly thrown off of you. Your view now blocked by Shouto’s broad back, which was tense with unbridled rage. Truthfully, he hadn’t given two shits about you since you arrived at the house. You were an annoying human, and even more so you were a part of Enji’s plans that he wanted nothing to do with. Pure possessive instinct drove him to madness now, watching his brother touch what was so clearly his. Touya laughed the situation off and departed for the night, but his advances had sparked something among the Todoroki boys that couldn’t be undone.
From that point on you would go nowhere without Shouto standing protectively at your side. Emotionally he still paid you no mind, not bothering to strike a conversation or ask your opinions in the slightest. You felt like a doll with the way he always had a protective arm around your waist, or wouldn’t let you sit anywhere but his lap. The only time he wasn’t glued to your side was at night. It would be incredibly improper for an unmarried young woman to share a bed with any man, after all.
Of course, Natsuo takes full advantage of your betrothed’s absence and begins sneaking into your room just after sunset. He’s kind and sweet, and a wonderful reprieve from the utter silence that you experience from your fiance throughout the day. He lays next to you and weaves wonderful tales of times long forgotten, occasionally brushing a strand of hair away from your face or gently stroking your cheek. He makes you grand promises of an escape, a place away from the cold stares of his younger brother, the invasive touches of his older one, and the uncomfortable aura his own father gives off around you two. He won’t bite you yet, not until you ask him to make you truly his.
Natsuo leaves as soon as your gentle snores begin every night, in fear of his father or brother catching him by morning. This is exactly the opening Touya has been waiting for. The black sheep of the Todoroki family leaps in through your window and hovers over your resting form. Unlike the others, he sees no point in playing fair, he never has. He touches you in your sleep, relishing the sweet little moans and whimpers you so easily provide him. He waits until you’re fully awake to properly take you though. He wants you to look into his eyes as you come undone, to know that he’s the one making you see stars in black of night.
Even Enji himself has found you far too appealing. He regrets bringing you home to his son when he easily could have locked you away and kept you all to himself. You were, of course, the perfect wife, just as he made you to be. On days that the boys were out of the house on errands or training, he promised to look after you himself, entirely content to watch you flit around the house. His quiet observations grow bolder, however, as he moves past you to reach just beyond you. As he passes he grabs your waist and commits to memory just how small you feel in his clutch. He’ll recall that feeling later tonight when he imagines fucking your tiny body into a broken mess.
None of them realize just how far the others are willing to go to steal you away until one fateful night. Touya climbs in through your window hours after another stressful family dinner and begins to have his way with his all too willing pet. In the heat of the moment, he clamps down on your neck with sharp fangs as you mewl beneath him. The scent of blood alerts the other three vampires who quickly come rushing to your aid, only to find you in a rather compromising position.
Snarls echo around the room as each man prepares to fight to the death, but a new scent begins to overpower that of blood. All eyes darken and turn towards you as your arousal floods their senses, and suddenly there are three more bodies weighing down the bed. All of them nipping, sucking, touching you trying to achieve your full attention. It's a race to be the first one to cause your release, but when that comes crashing over you all too soon they begin competing to be the cause of your last one. Four mouths, eight hands, touching you everywhere and anywhere trying to ruin you in their own ways. It's too much, it's the epitome of overstimulation. Still, each man yearns to be the name you call the loudest, the one to make you cum the hardest.
Finally, when you can't feel your bones or open your eyes, the weights lift. So properly fucked out you can barely hear it when Enji clears his throat and announce “We’ll talk about this in the morning, for now, she needs to rest”
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bookwyrminspiration · 3 years ago
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Shattered Upside Down
A kotlc wings au: masterpost here
Chapter 9: The Little Reminders
word count: 7.1k
chapter summary: Sophie and her friends are in the Lost Cities. The broken down, monster-infested Lost Cities. And they only have a certain amount of time to do everything they need to before something bad shows up. But monsters aren't all that comes to try and get them.
warnings: monsters, blood, implied death (of a character never met or mentioned again, who died a long time ago, it's not as bad as it sounds), arguing with parents, fighting, buildings collapsing, brief medical mention, swearing
taglist: I’ll reblog with it. let me know if you want to be added or removed!
Y'all ready? We're tying in some little details from earlier, so that's fun! Enjoy the chapter! Apologies if formatting is a little weird. Tumblr did a thing so I don't know what it'll look like when I post it!
ao3 link here or read below
It was so quiet a pin drop could’ve shattered the world.
Not that it would’ve made a difference. Colored glass and cracked gems littered the ground, an entire city brought to its knees. Mold and mushrooms crawled painstaking through the cracks, condensation crying down the sides, water marks left in their wake. Building after building as far as one could see was destroyed, damaged, some even reduced entirely to rubble.
Sophie didn’t even want to breathe as they moved, the stench of monsters and rotting flesh and decay permeating the area.
They hadn’t seen anything, not yet. But she knew they were there. Somewhere. Watching. Gauging. They’d entered the monsters’ territory, and now they could only try to do what they needed before those things decided to respond.
Their scent was thick enough Sophie wished she’d remembered to bring that mask she’d had before she’d run away, the same one they’d worn on that damning mission. It was supposed to be the end. They’d bring down the facility and clean up the aftermath and everything would get better.
A bright pink hair ribbon fluttered in a breeze, stuck beneath a cluster of broken crystal on the side of the path. A hand print beside it, frozen in the mud. A small hand print. It was gouged through with claw marks. She didn’t want to know what had happened. She knew.
Where do you think they are? Fitz asked, just to her. She gave him a mental shrug in response. She didn’t want to know. No amount of preparing would be enough for whatever happened.
Part of her, a surprisingly large part, didn’t want her parents to show up. She didn’t want to confront them and explain herself and lie her way through the conversation. And she knew she’d be at the center of it. The Moonlark. Sophie Foster. Always in the middle of things. Not that they were wrong, it was just tiring.
Yet another part of her remained horrified she’d even presented this ultimatum. She could risk herself; she’d had more experience with monsters in the past week than she’d had since everything started. Sure, it wasn’t much. But it was something. One of them even saw her as a...friend.
This group, she didn’t want to risk. But they wouldn’t let her do it alone and they’d planned this out beforehand. They weren't going in with their hands tied. And they could all easily escape, rely on those wings if it came to an emergency.
Maybe they’d even leave them alone again, like that creature in the tree the night they ran.
But their parents? They’d been stuck underground for the last several months. And they weren’t even fighters in the first place. They were painfully elven and she loved them to death. She couldn’t stand being responsible for anything that happened here today.
It was so horribly cruel of Sophie to have picked this place, to have given them so little choice. The place was infested. The stench made her eyes water, rips and tears marks littered the buildings everywhere you looked.
Something darted through her peripheral and she flinched. The creatures knew they were here. They just hadn’t attacked. Maybe they’d gotten lucky, were in a part of the city with some of the more docile ones, although all of them were threatening.
Let's get a head start. So they don’t catch us off guard. It seemed forbidden, intrusive to speak aloud. Like there was this careful illusion held together by the silence. None of them were willing to break it.
The others nodded, breaking into two groups.
Sophie, Linh, Biana, and Wylie in one; Dex, Tam, Maruca, Marella, Fitz, and Keefe in the other. Those that could hide the wings, and those that couldn’t. And Dex, who was going to grab some supplies.
Sophie pulled her cloak closer, checking it was secured as a breeze passed by. The wings buzzed in response, the open sky beckoning her. She’d have to be extra careful they didn’t make a noise if their parents showed up.
Wylie nudged her, raising his brows in question.
Right. She was supposed to find them. Track them. She was the telepath of their group.
Everyone reeked of anxiety, muscles tensed as she leaned back against a nearby building for stability, raising her fingers to her temples.
Starting with a blanket sweep, she scanned the nearby area, searching for any presence she could find. The wave spread from her like an explosion, rocketing outwith her at the center. She could feel Fitz stumble, perking up as the wave washed over him, faintly hearing someone ask him what happened. She didn’t bother to hear the reply.
There were pockmarks scattered throughout, empty holes moving within the web she wove. Monsters. Since that day in the facility she’d learned what they felt like, the hollow space they left behind. Like looking for a blind spot. They were...everywhere. But none attacked.
Reaching further, she kept scanning, about to give up.
Someone smelling of cherry blossoms placed their hand down on her shoulder, shaking her slightly. Sophie jerked, inhaling deeply, keeling forward and nearly toppling over if it weren’t for that hand.
Not here yet, she whispered, trying to reorient herself. The sudden change from concentration back to reality had been jarring--unintentional on Biana’s part, but a large stressor nonetheless.
Move!! Biana hissed in her mind, pulling Sophie along.
Oh.
Her mind lagged a moment behind as she was dragged, shaking her head to try and comprehend the enormous, gaping shadow that had fallen over their group.
She covered her mouth to try and slow her breathing as they ducked around a corner.
Biana hadn’t shaken her awake out of impatience or question. She’d jarred her into reality to escape.
Now that she was aware of it, the pungent odor of breath and smoke coated her tongue. Just how distracted had she been? How far out had her mind been reaching that she didn’t even notice the thing right beside her?
It’s claws made a horrid screeching sound against the crystal as it moved, talons sinking into the wall several feet above where they’d just been, its enormous barbed tail swinging lazily, thwacking into that very spot she’d been leaning against, leaving cracks and scratches all down the side.
C’mon, Linh called, gesturing from where she was tucked away on the other side of the road. Let’s get away from here.
There was no way they could get past that tail, sporadically swinging around and blocking that path to the rest of their group. Goddamnit. How had they gotten separated so quickly?
“There’s no way we’re getting through there,” Biana groaned oh so quietly, speaking Sophie’s thoughts aloud, shaking out her hands, trying to dispel the nerves.
Sophie absentmindedly nodded in agreement, surveying the area, looking for the least dangerous, quickest path. She didn’t even need a destination, just away. Biana’s fingers closed around her wrist, drawing energy from her skin as they both sporadically faded in and out of view. Huh. When had Biana grown so powerful?
The thing shifted its weight, tail thunking around and sinking into the wall, using it as leverage to crawl further up the building, staining it red wherever its skin grated against the crystal.
Wait.
Now, Sophie urged, pulling them both back. Use this moment. Take advantage of every single second you’re granted and wring every inch of progress you can from it. With the tail momentarily occupied, you’d think she’d go forward. Dart through the danger and emerge victorious.
No. Sophie Foster didn’t like to do things the way people expected her to. It made her eyelashes itch.
She whirled around, Biana attached to her wrist. They’d backed themselves into a corner, but just how far back would this corner go? What would it give them if only they had the keen insight to ask?
Its eyes made contact with hers and its mouth dropped open just as they turned their backs, the sound of the ground trembling behind them as it dropped itself down, starting the hunt.
Rock slammed against the soles of their shoes as they stumbled through the rubble, tripping over colored pebbles and ducking under collapsed pillars, buildings rising on either side of them like they were trapped in a maze with no end. No solution.
Growls and screeching claws echoed around them, and she knew they were surrounded. She couldn’t see them but she knew.
They’d caused a commotion and now everyone was coming to see what all the fuss was about.
Cursing, they rounded a corner only to come to a screeching stop, a mound of crystal pieces blocking their path. Turning, they looked over their shoulders.
Something skidded down the side of the building, the narrow gap between walls, claws scratching as it descended, something unpleasant in its eye. It’s mouth gaped, no teeth in sight but a hissing noise emerged nonetheless. It was large enough it nearly didn't fit in the space, but it contorted and slithered and narrowed its gaze onto her, mouth falling open with a mechanical click.
Well, fuck. It’s too early for that. The morning chill hadn’t even dispersed yet.
Both their heartbeats hammered in their chest, adrenaline surging as she realized this one was very much not friendly, it wouldn’t even try to be. Leave leave leave leave leave she needed to get out. They needed to go somewhere anywhere else.
Where are you going? Linh asked, somewhere from beside Wylie. It seemed Biana and Sophie were the only ones in danger. Great. The others didn’t even know they were being hunted, stalked, tracked, assessed.
Um. Good question, she responded. I’ll let you know when we figure that out. Biana glanced at her sidelong, seeming to realize Sophie actually didn’t have a plan and groaning. Then grinned, laughing with her hand over her mouth to stifle the sound as she threw herself into their escape.
They turned on their heels, putting their backs to this new monster once more, and ran. On hands and knees, rocks and pebbles shifting uneasily beneath them as they climbed over the pile.
Their cloaks with the chaotic movement and Sophie caught a single glimpse of the vibrant orange against Biana’s back before she was bumping into a corner and moving again.
It crashed into something behind them, the haphazard destruction providing a dangerous terrain it couldn’t quite navigate. Good. Good. This was good.
Run. Jump. Avoid. Disappear.
It roared behind them, screeching in pain as something heavy crashed down. Maybe it’d gotten caught on a building. Good. That was good, right?
Sunlight shone through the gaps between buildings, spastic as they channeled extra power into their legs, dashing darting dancing through the destruction until she saw an opening, looked up and remembered that flash of orange and realized she was not burdened to the ground and she grabbed Biana’s hand.
“JUMP,” she screamed, her voice echoing through the walls and reverberating back to her against the crystal.
They jumped, pushing all that channeled strength into their legs and leaping higher higher higher until they crested the walls and could see for miles for everywhere for eternity.
And they caught themselves.
Those wings snapped out, flinging themselves from beneath the cloaks and smoothing their descent. She blinked and that film dropped over her eyes.
Biana moved jerkily yet somehow smooth in the sky, letting go of Sophie’s hand as she flitted to and fro, movements that would’ve made Sophie undeniably nauseous.
It took her only a moment to locate the others, to find Wylie’s exasperation and Linh’s concern. To change course and point Biana in the right direction and swan dive down, curving around crumbling spires and rods.
Risking a glance backwards, she couldn’t locate that creature, it seemingly lost within that maze of buildings and halls and paths that would’ve trapped them too had the sky not beckoned so loud.
Clear. They were in the clear. It was behind them. They were fine.
Vaguely, she could see the other group in the distance, the rest of their friends pointing and waving as they watched them soar in slowly descending circles, growing ever closer to the ground. They’d gone off to find Dex’s supplies, just perusing through the city. It’d take several people to get everything he needed, maybe even more than one trip.
Biana began lowering herself, but Sophie couldn’t help but linger in the sky just a few moments longer, taking in the destruction. Reminding herself of everything they were fighting for, why she needed to step out of her own skin and remember all the people she’d left behind.
She shouldn’t have.
Something glimmered off in the distance, only visible with this new eyesight from this vantage point, but she dropped like a stone.
The void let her through, jumping between places and glitching through the air like she had when she’d grabbed Marella, falling atop Biana in the sky and wrapping her arms around her, jerking them through the void and onto the ground, sprawling a few feet away from the rest of their group.
Shit.
Biana sat up, shaking herself off and covering her wings, drawing that cloak close. Everyone’s hearts were hammering, echoing in her ears as her throat went dry.
Sophie got to her feet, bracing her hands on the back of her neck. She couldn’t dare speak it out loud, didn’t know what was still listening. If that creature had truly gotten itself caught or if it was just waiting to continue the chase. She didn't want to bother with it, just thinking it a minor nuisance as the real shit came to fruition.
Huh. Her world had devolved into such chaos that a monster chase was just a brief interruption, nothing to be thought over.
She shook her hands out, Wylie reaching down to help Biana to her feet.
There was no use putting it off any longer, so she spoke into the entire mindbubble. They’re here.
Sophie couldn’t pull her wings close enough; they were so conformed to the shape of her body she worried they’d bend that way permanently. But still, she wanted them closer. She’d buttoned up the front of her cloak, prepared her lies, but it wasn’t enough. Nothing would ever be enough.
She scratched at her arms to try and distract herself, but that just pulled at her damaged skin, leaving lacerations and blood stains behind. She really should’ve wrapped them. Why hadn’t she wrapped herself up? That’s what she’d gone with Tam to get.
Linh's skin was covered in bandages, her legs and arms tightly bound. It hid some of the incandescence, and in the morning light she almost looked completely normal. Sophie should’ve done the same to herself. She’d gotten so distracted she hadn’t even thought to, and none of the others had remembered to remind her.
Strange. Usually they were so on top of her injuries. It was...unsettling to imagine why they weren’t this time. Not that--not that she wanted them to focus on her. She just--
“Is everyone prepared?” Wylie’s voice was so loud in this silence it made her physically jump, taking all of her energy to keep the wings from shooting out in fear, giving herself away. She did get some impressive height, though.
“Nope. Let’s do this anyway.” If they didn’t do this now, didn't confront their parents and convince them to stop trying to find them, they’d just have to do it again later.
They were fine for now. They were relatively safe and unharmed. Their injuries were from themselves, not the forest. The forest. The forest only she had access to.
If you can, grab the stuff to make a temporary crystal or find a pathfinder of some kind, she sent out to everyone. So you don’t have to rely on me.
Nice try, Foster. I like relying on you. But yeah we’ll look.
She rolled her eyes. Of course he was joking. He knew she was anxious and the little fucker was trying to make her feel better. And it was fucking working. She scowled.
Alright. Now or never. Do or die.
Live with it.
Sophie couldn’t see through the tears falling from her lashes, the wet getting caught up in those films. The world was made of fragments and smears and it was all she could do to hold herself together as she saw her father climbing over a mound of rubble.
Grady. Dad.
There were others beside him, an entire group who had come out to try and get them back, but she couldn’t stop herself from desperately reaching out one last time. She saw him and her legs were moving moving moving and she just had to get to him to let him hold her to feel him alive beneath her fingertips.
He was moving too, eyes widening as he sprinted forward and then he was right there and his arms wrapped around her and held on so so tight and his chin rested on her head and her face was buried in his chest and he smelled like soap and feathers and warmth and home.
She’d missed this so much.
“Hey, kiddo,” he whispered against her hair, the braids she’d woven them into on the walk over, trying to tame the mess. She’d have to do that when flying. They rocked back and forth, just holding holding holding each other.
She’d missed this.
Eventually, he stepped back a bit, holding her out by the shoulders and looking her over, gnawing at his lip as he saw all the blisters, the lacerations, the burns. The scratches.
It’d been a rough couple of days.
“Are you okay?” he asked, bringing her in close again, this time oh so gentle. Like he was afraid one wrong move would tear her apart.
She just shrugged; she couldn’t get her throat to work. She exhaled, the breath shaky and uncontrolled, wiping at her eyes to try and compose herself. She didn’t even know who else was here. Did she care?
Sophie stepped back, but Grady reached up to pat the top of her head, smoothing down her hair. She leaned into the touch. She’d missed this.
He stepped to the side when he saw her leaning to try and see around him, glancing around the area now that she was here and there was something to protect.
There were so many people. Any number was many. She didn’t know why she thought she could do this. She could do this.
Taking a deep breath, she counted who’d come.
Ro and Sandor--Sandor--stood on either side of the group, weapons out and noses lifted to the wind. Protection. Della was wrapped around Biana, fussing over her and feeling the bandages on her arm. A pang of guilt hit her, but she pressed it aside. Mr. Forkle stood beside Wylie, the two of them in some sort of discussion she hadn’t expected. Elwin had rushed to Linh just beside Wylie, and was now carefully lowering her to the ground, Juline giving a helping hand.
Juline. She looked up, making eye-contact with Sophie, holding it.
“Everyone else is in a different part of the city,” she said, clearing her throat. “But they’re fine. They’re okay. Well--” she cut off, eyes glazing over as she reached out to Fitz.
Grady’s hand tightened on her shoulder, but the sensation faded as her mind reached away from her body.
I’ve...they’re here. She said, unsure how else to put it. Are you all doing alright?
It took him a moment to respond. Yup. Just a little--shit. Just a lot of unwieldy things. I just dropped something. Dex seems to be having the time of his life, though. None of it makes sense to me.
Okay. Reach out if you need anything. Or just to interrupt...because this conversation isn't going to be fun.
He laughed slightly, hollow. Yeah. I definitely don't envy you right now.
Wait, have you envied me before?
Good question.
She waited for him to answer it, but it was silent on his end. Well you can’t just--
Take care, Sophie. I love you.
He severed their connection.
“--Sophie?” Someone was shaking her--Grady. That was Grady. His hand was on her shoulder and he was shaking her back into her body.
“Mmm. Yup. That’s me,” she slurred, shaking her head slightly to regain her stability, to ground herself. She rubbed at her eyes, Fitz’s words echoing in her mind. I love you.
She wanted to say it back. Why hadn’t he given her the chance to say it back?
Sophie found Juline once more, directing her words in that general area but addressing the whole group. “Yeah, they’re all fine.”
“Tell them to come here, please.” Ah. Okay. Right into it, then.
She shook her head. “They’re busy.”
Sandor stepped forward, fist tightening on the hilt of his blade. “They can un-busy themselves for this.”
Wylie took it for her, and she nearly leapt forward to hug him right there and then, but it didn’t seem like the right time. She didn’t want to be the only one they addressed.
“Unfortunately, they cannot. But anything you need to tell them you can tell us and we’ll relay the information.” He crossed his arms, glancing towards her as if in question.
She inclined her head slightly. Yes, it was okay that he stepped in.
“We’ll need all of you in one place for this,” Sandor said, and Sophie’s stomach dropped.
“We’re not going back.”
Grady’s hand tightened on her shoulder, flexing as if he wanted to pull her closer and just leap away with her. But they were separated. If they stole the four of them away now, they’d never find the other six.
She hated that they had to strategize like this.
“Look,” Ro began, pointing a dagger at her to emphasize her point. “I don’t know what kind of idiocy has infected your group, but you can’t be up here. You and your little fucked up elf brains have to come back with us, to the underground. And we’ll take you by force if necessary.” Everyone flinched, Juline frowning at her like they’d had an agreement beforehand, a plan, and Ro had gone completely off the rails.
Sophie just shook her head. “No. We’re here to see you. To let you know everyone’s okay, and that you don’t need to worry.” Ro rolled her eyes, and Sophie was tempted to flip her off. “But we are not going back, and that is final.”
“This absolutely is not final, kiddo.” Grady contradicted, turning her around slightly to face him. The movement sent her cape swirling and for a moment she thought the wings would become visible, but they remained hidden. Thank fuck.
This would never end. They’d only go round and round and round in circles and neither would ever concede and their parents would never understand why. They’d just sit here until--
“While we’re...discussing that, how about you sit down and let me look over you, that sound good?” Elwin waved her over from where he sat beside Linh, whose bandages had been peeled back. Biana sat by Linh’s side, looking over fresh, better wrapped bandages over her cuts. He must’ve gotten to work on the two of them while Sophie had been talking with Fitz. Right. His little farewell would haunt her the moment she had time to think...which didn’t seem to be anytime soon.
She nodded, walking over and placing herself beside Linh, bumping her arm with her elbow in greeting. Linh bumped right back into her, smiling as she winced. Something about this light made her look almost normal. She wondered why no one else had commented or asked about the patterns on her skin. Could they even see them?
He inhaled, sucking the air in through clenched teeth. “I bet you two were exposed to the same thing, huh?” He asked, gently pulling Sophie’s arm and inspecting the peeling skin.
“Yep,” she answered, unsure how much Linh had already said.
He doesn’t know it was Marella, she whispered into Sophie’s mind.
What did you tell him?
Run in with a weird creature and a stray explosive? Sorry, I was thinking on the spot.
Sophie nodded. She could work with that story.
“I’d tell you to be more careful around fires and those kinds of things, but I don’t think you know how,” he teased, but his frown didn’t fade as he gently observed the visible skin, pulling serums and creams and bandages from his bag. “I guess that’s why you specifically requested I come.” Sophie nodded, then realized she should probably say something.
She cleared her throat. “You don’t know that. Maybe we just missed you.”
He laughed, gently rubbing a thin layer of something over her arm before covering it with a light gauze. She sighed with relief, leaning against Linh. She hadn’t realized how much pain she’d been in until she felt the cooling effect of the balm.
Both Sophie and Linh were given several elixirs, luckily none too soured or rotten. Biana;s injuries were light enough that she only took a pain reliever.
Unfortunately, the brief peace couldn’t last. The adults seemed content to just keep watch, the scent of sweat and anxiety overwhelming as they surveyed the area, eyed the tree line, the mounds of rubble, just long enough for Elwin to do the basics of what he needed.
Probably because they expected him to be able to continue the treatment once they’d gotten to the underground.
They didn’t seem to understand that they were not coming back.
She wanted to. She didn’t want to leave.
Mr. Forkle approached her on the ground, offering her a hand to help her stand. The gauze across her palm rubbed strangely as he hoisted her to her feet, the sensation off-putting enough that she shook it out slightly as she found her balance.
Linh tugged at her cloak as she stood, readjusting it so it sat against the wings properly, hiding them. Elwin had tried to get her to take it off, but she’d refused. Told him to just do what he could see right now and worry about the rest later.
He’d also told them all he’d want to look at their backs, see what had happened after he’d left them for a short time and returned to find them gone.
He’d told them he’d forgive them if they apologized for scaring the shit out of him, that they didn’t have to do it now. They could deal with all of that later.
There wouldn’t be a later. She just had to convince them to let them all go.
They’d never agree to let them all go. This was an impossible task, doomed to fail from the start.
“You kids just love getting in trouble, don’t you?” He asked, stepping back to let the others come forward. The groups condensed, kids (and Wylie) across from the adults, the line seemingly already drawn.
She shrugged. “That tends to happen when you give children the responsibility of fixing a broken world.”
Linh winced, but this time it wasn’t from her injuries.
“That responsibility was meant to be shared and eased with the help of the Black Swan, help we cannot provide with you as runaways.”
Sophie rolled her eyes. “No. You’re still part of the problem. You weren’t helping anyone, certainly not us.” Oh. Okay. She was doing this now.
“We know you think our ways are too traditional, that we’re not making progress--”
“No. Let me talk.” She held up a hand, silencing them. She’d let them silence her into submission when she’d burned down that storehouse; she wouldn’t let them do it again. “The first time the Neverseen were defeated, how did that happen? Us. We--my friends and I--took the fight to them. We didn’t sit at home waiting for approval from the council, waiting to fight ‘legally.’ There was a problem. A problem that got people killed. And you’d been fighting for decades and got nowhere until I tracked Gisela across the globe and found her myself. Until Dex hacked their trackers and trailed them. Until Biana infiltrated their base on her own to plant bugs and get us intel.”
They looked like they wanted to stop her, but she pressed on. “Your complacency has gotten you nowhere, and I am not at all sorry to be fighting to get results. The Neverseen were gone. My friends brought them to their knees, and you said you’d support us, take it from there and pick up the pieces. Well, guess what? Those pieces scattered in the wind because they weren’t properly disposed of and now they're out in the world, causing even more trouble than we ever could have imagined. You didn’t do your part, so I don’t trust you to support us now. You’ll have to earn that back, and if this”--she gestured to their little group, the people they’d sent to try and convince them all to come back, to tug at their hearts and play into their guilt--”is any indication, you are only getting further and further away from that.”
She crossed her arms, trying to keep herself in check. She hadn’t even known she’d had all that bubbling beneath her skin, but now that she’d open that part of herself she could feel it frothing, foaming to escape. There were so many ways she’d been disappointed, so many mistakes people had consciously made, it felt like her veins would burst.
Ro’s mouth had fallen open, torn between anger at her stubbornness to come back and loving Sophie’s disregard for those in charge, the disobedience.
Biana glanced at her out of the corner of her eye, raising a brow in question. Sophie nodded, imperceptible. They needed someone to cool the situation down, someone good in social situations.
Juline opened her mouth to respond but Biana cut her off, stepping forward. She was never afraid to be blunt and Sophie loved that about her.
She smoothed out her clothes, her scars on full display. “You seem to misunderstand why we’re here. We left abruptly, we know. It was necessary. Now that things have calmed down, we agreed to see you again--to give you some peace of mind. To let you know we’re okay in person. Not just the four of us, all ten.
“We didn’t come here to debate returning. We’re not coming back, not right now. So stop trying to convince us, and don’t try to justify your actions against valid criticism.”
There was silence for a moment, then Della spoke.
“You’re not safe out here,” she said. Smart. Begin the conversation with an indisputable fact in their favor. But Sophie could do that too.
“We’re not safe anywhere.”
Sandor sighed, but it sounded more like a growl, not even looking at her, still scanning the perimeter. They were fairly out in the open; for some reason, they hadn’t moved to better ground.
“You’ll be much safer where we, your bodyguards”--he gestured to himself and Ro--”can see you and protect you. That’s what we’re here for. This is a massive nest of monsters; we’re lucky we haven’t been attacked yet. This is a mess.” He gestured around the area, the cracked crystal and claw marks.
He was right. Which was why they needed to end this quickly. Get them out before they were hurt. She needed to go somewhere else, to cool off. She could feel Linh and Wylie’s eyes on her, wondering if she’d explode at their parents like she’d done with Biana.
Sophie nodded in agreement. She was nodding a lot during this conversation. “You’re very good bodyguards, but we’re staying up here. Besides, our location isn’t here.”
“Then tell us where you are,” Juline cut in, a hint of panic in her voice. Glad to see the four of them safe, but none of them the person she’d specifically come for. And she didn’t know it, but that one person’s body wasn’t working the way it should.
Combined with her outburst, the realization that they were completely out of power in this situation was settling in. She could read it in their widening eyes, the shifts in their stances, like they were rearranging themselves.
“We can’t. We literally can’t.”
“Please, Sophie--” Grady began, running his hands through his hair in frustration, looking like he wanted to grab her and shake some sense into her, but he froze.
They all did.
Because they all heard it.
A horrendous screeching noise, like metal grating against metal. Or claws against the ground.
SOPHIE. GET OUT OF THERE. Fitz’s voice pounded into her mind, panic and terror following.
What? Why?
MONSTER!
“Move,” she hissed, shoving Linh to the side, noting Biana dragging Wylie the other way. Away. They had to get away.
She looked over her shoulder, seeing their group scramble, glancing around frantically, trying to find where the noise had come from. Sophie hadn’t bothered to figure it out, just moving away.
Something crashed to the ground, a great plume of smoke and dust arising from the area, whipped around by a sudden wind, like something was beating its wings. It must’ve been a tower, building, the sound so horrendous she stumbled, hands pressed to her ears as it ripped through her.
Wylie was panting on the ground across from her, eyes closed as his hands covered his ears.
The building took eternity to fall, seconds of time dripping past like a deluge, one after another until she couldn’t tell the difference and someone was screaming her name or maybe that was just the ringing in her ears but something was coming coming coming it was after them they’d overstayed their welcome and everything was crashing apart around her.
Think, Foster, she reminded herself.
Next step. Find the others. Find everyone.
The few precious seconds it took her to gather herself enough to reach for her temples were too many. She was out of time.
“I said MOVE!” Fitz was yelling at her, sprinting from a nearby alley, a pathway through the mess. He was moving lopsided, his limp aggravated by whatever the physical labor had done to his knee. Oh.
That’s why he’d warned her.
His group was heading their way, a monster in tow, screaming at them to get out.
The other six were close behind, Keefe darting around corners, Dex leaping into the air with channelling. Marella’s hands were glowing, Tam’s fingernails stained black.
Their cloaks fastened tight but something something something still looked off if you were focusing. No one was focusing on them.
They were occupied with something else.
It screamed.
Sophie stood there, frozen, as it crawled over a mound of rubble, jerking and frantic, several eyes littered over its body, claws digging into the crystal as all its sight narrowed in.
On the other group.
Where her father was.
“NO!” She didn’t know who said it, who screamed. But her throat stung and her body was trying to move without her permission.
“Dex,” Juline yelled, a strange relief washing over her face as she saw him, quickly vanishing as the creature tumbled forward. It moved so inhumanly quick, limbs upon limbs emerging and cycling as it danced uncontrolled toward their vulnerable parents.
Ro had drawn her sword, a maniacal grin slicing her face as she laughed, widening her stance.
No no no nonono. She couldn’t kill it. She didn’t stand a chance and she’d go down trying and it would be all Sophie’s fault because she’d frozen and wasn’t doing anything when if anyone deserved to pay it was her.
Grady’s face had hardened, a weapon in his hand she didn’t recognize pulled from somewhere as he stood back, eyes on that charging creature when his face went slack and he whirled, another one emerging from behind.
She couldn’t get to him, an eternity between them, rocks and debris and a wall of hurt throwing them further and further apart with each step she took forward. Linh was tugging at her arm, Maruca at her other. Trying to get her away.
It was impossible to fix this. They’d doomed themselves from the start.
He was still wildly searching the area, searching for her.
They made eye contact, his face softening as he saw her, saw how far she was. That she could still get away, wasn’t being directly attacked.
“No,” she whispered, watching him turn away, steel settling over his skin. A calm acceptance
No.
She wouldn’t do this, wouldn’t watch him die.
Sophie lunged forward, breaking from her friends’ grasps with that new ease,
and
she
glitched.
She was dancing through time and space, here and there and everywhere in a single instant. There was no distance too far, nothing she couldn’t be in this one moment in time. This one moment that she’d make last an eternity. This world was hers to command.
She appeared, just at his side, shoving him away, letting that prowling creature descend on her instead, sinking its teeth into the skin of her shoulder, ripping through fabric and darting away.
She didn’t care. She didn’t care at all. Because Grady was fine just a few feet away. He was fine. That’s all that mattered.
His eyes widened as he watched her, trying to stand amongst all this chaos and rubble, and she didn’t understand didn't understand the fear, the pain in his eyes. The screams and gasps echoing behind her, the way the world seemed to pause for a moment.
Not until she saw the tattered remains of her cloak fall to the ground.
“Go home,” she whispered, backing away from him. “Go back. It’s not safe up here.”
He wasn’t moving, he wasn’t talking; no one was.
But the creatures were still screaming, eyes condensing and coalescing, observing her and the people around her.
“Get them out of here, Sophie” Maruca screamed, force-fields flickering into place around the creatures, caging them in. But she wasn’t steady on her feet. Why hadn’t she raised the shields earlier? Maruca nearly fell, her hold flickering. She was buying Sophie a few seconds, but that was all she could give. Who knew what she'd given already.
Sohie steeled her nerves, letting the wings buzz behind her, keeping the attention. Let them see her, let them focus on her and not notice the things on her friends backs too.
“I’m sorry,” was all she said, darting forward faster than Grady’s eyes could understand, glitching the two of them just a little bit away, beside Della. She grabbed the two of them, and vanished.
The clearing was just as she remembered it. The crystal grate sat crooked on the ground, the trees around as menacing and uninviting as ever. Last time she’d been here it was raining.
It was supposed to be the last time.
She let go of the two of them, ripping through the void back to the Lost Cities. Another two. Juline and Elwin. She brought them back.
Went back and forth until they were all back, all away, all safe. Safer, at least.
“Sophie, wait--” Grady was reaching for her. He scrambled for his pocket, telling her they'd just come back. She couldn’t leave, she had to stay. Let the adults go back and handle it.
She twirled the pathfinder through her fingers, listened as he fell silent.
It’d been right there in easy reach when she’d grabbed him. So she’d taken it. They’d needed one, and taking it from him kept them from coming back. At least for a little bit.
He was reaching for her.
She didn’t look back.
She vanished.
The shields fell just as Sophie arrived. There were monsters loose in the Lost Cities, chasing her and her friends. She didn’t care.
The world had ended years ago.
Nothing. That’s what she felt.
Everything was numb. The echoing screams of the creatures, the grating of their claws against the ground, the sweat and fear of her friends. None of it registered. It would hit her later, she knew, but not now. Not yet.
Sophie dug her nails into her scalp, watching the creatures explode out of their containment, finally set free. They laughed, animalistic, bodies thrashing rhythmically as they slithered forward.
Apparently physics didn’t matter anymore.
Thoughts and plans filtered through her mind, the mindbubble alight with chaos. She tuned it out, just watching from the center of it all. The eye of the storm.
Someone was in the sky, unused to flying but moving with enough precision she knew they’d done it before.
One of the creatures locked eyes with her, maw falling open with a haphazard grin. A mechanical creak came from it’s neck as it twitched.
It scrambled forward, close to the ground, crossing the clearing in just a few short moments.
She didn’t care.
It was going to tear her to pieces.
She didn’t care.
The ground rumbled, trembling and bucking and weaving into new positions, throwing them all the ground, the scent of thunder and terror rolling over her, knees buckling beneath her.
The stench hit her first, the watered down rot, a dying perfume of withered roses and rotten fruit. Cloyingly sweet, deceptively undead. Her eyes began to water, like she’d been physically hit. She couldn’t see through the tears, but she didn’t need to.
It made itself known.
Dark and decay seemed to slip through the cracks of the stone, falling upwards like unnatural rain.
It crushed that creature beneath its gargantuan paw, cracked and molten.
It was right in front of her.
She looked at it and it looked back, nearly four times the size of the thing it’d just killed like it was nothing.
Monsters vs monster. It’s eyes glowed a deep gold, dripping down the midnight blue of its face, its body vaguely bear shaped.
It looked away, charging towards those other monsters, the movement accompanied by a jingle.
There was a collar around its neck, tags clanging against each other as it moved, killing--destroying--each of those creatures her friends ran from one by one.
An intelligence lingered behind its eyes, its movements. This was...even more unsettling than the creatures, than the destruction littered around her.
It blinked at her like it knew her.
Sophie forced herself to her feet, to take in absolutely everything she could about this thing before it vanished. It could be the difference between life and death.
It lowered it’s head to the ground, and
her
heart
stopped.
Behind it’s head, hidden by the whorls of curls decorating its stocky body, was a little girl sat atop it.
A little girl in a chaotic, elaborate gown, something human’s thought princesses would wear, frizzy red hair tangled around her face.
The little girl she’d seen in the facility.
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sunnysviolin · 4 years ago
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Kel and Aubrey going around interacting with people to learn about the different cultures everywhere as they travel, wearing cultural outfits, participating in cultural activities, just having an overall good time...
Would they be good at any cultural dances? Since they're traveling to Spain first, I can just imagine Aubrey in a flamenco dress with Kel as they just dance together and enjoy themselves (or maybe Kel wearing the dress- or maybe both of them wearing dresses-)
...I kinda wanna draw them dancing around together now.
-from a videogame-world traveling anon
nonnie.....nonnie wait....if you drew something we created together I would be SO EMO WAIT!!! No oh my god like my brain literally just exploded like art?? ART??? I wanna be able to draw so bad...but I can’t I just gotta continue on w my lil writing bits....here take some more writing bits nonnie
*Singing to myself* This got lonnng againnnn I’m putting itttt under a readdd moreeeee
Kel’s parents are....less than pleased to find out their son isn’t directly going to college like Hero did, and they make that known. 
They don’t approve of his choice to take at least one gap year. They don’t approve of him not continuing his education. They don’t approve of him throwing away his life for that bad girl that spent so many years terrorizing him. Even two years after changing her ways, Aubrey is still regarded as a nuisance among the town old timers. Kel’s parents tell him plainly that they don’t approve of Aubrey, and they won’t be changing their mind. 
Which leads to Kel having a minor breakdown and finally admitting what he’s known his whole life- that he will never be good enough to measure up to Hero, and he’s finally tired of trying to be someone he’s not. He isn’t Hero and he never will be, but for once he wants being Kel to be good enough. 
Seeing their bright positive middle child finally crack under the weight they’ve been unintentionally laying on him is...it’s painful. Kel’s parents never meant to make it a competition between their sons, they just wanted what was best for both of them. 
Having Kel sobbing at their dining room table at 3:00 am on the night of his high school graduation teaches them that they might not know what’s best for Kel after all. 
So...yeah the talk the morning after that is filled with a lot of awkward pausing. Kel isn’t used to sharing his true feelings, and he isn’t used to exposing anything other than cheerful hope. Ultimately they come to an agreement. Kel can go with Aubrey, follow her and his heart on their crazy plan, but he has to spend the year before they leave working and earning and not just hanging around the house
That was Kel’s plan anyway, so he’s ecstatic. He calls Aubrey immediately after, and she comes over so they can plan things out together
That year before they leave is definitely not easy. They’re working multiple retail and menial labor jobs, spending 12-15 hours a day on their feet in steamy kitchens, being screamed at by rude customers, and delivering so. many. pizzas. 
At some point in that year Aubrey and her mother have the inevitable fight that has been coming her whole life, and her mother kicks her out. Aubrey shows up in the middle of the night with her things next to her. Kel’s mother welcomes her inside and gets her a cup of tea. Kel wakes up and comes downstairs the next day to see his partner curled up asleep on the couch under a blanket his mother had just finished knitting
His mother doesn’t explain anything (”It’s her story dear not mine”) but after Aubrey comes to stay with them his parents warm to her quickly. Aubrey and Kel are allowed to share the room that Hero and he once shared, but they’re adamant that the beds stay on opposite sides
((He and Aubrey fit cramped but happy into his twin bed every night, but she always wakes up early to switch beds in order to be respectful to his parents wishes)) 
Soon enough its the afternoon before their journey is beginning (They decided to redeye to Sevilla). They have hostel confirmation numbers for a dozen different European countries, a thick binder of plans and itineraries, and a joint account that has a surprising amount of money in it. 
Turns out working 15 hours a day, taking only your eight paid vacation days, and having all of your dates be creative free dates in the five hours a week you both have off together means that you are able to acquire quite the nest egg. Kel’s parents sit them down at the dining room table, and his father is shocked to see how this year has shaped Kel. 
It’s a strange thing to see your son as an adult for the first time. It didn’t feel strange when it was Hero, he always expected it from Hero. Seeing it in Kel rocked him. 
They drive the two young adults (calling them kids now feels...wrong) to the airport and make them promise to call and write daily. 
There’s an undeniable energy and excitement as they board the plane. He and Aubrey breathe an audible sigh of relief. They shouldn’t, but they sleep on the plane. After a year of running, they’ve earned it
OKAY SO THAT WASN”T AT ALL WHAT YOU ASKED FOR....HERE HAVE DANCE LESSON HEADCANONS
Aubrey planned for everything, so she planned that they would need at least two days to recover when they finally got to Spain. The first two days are spent in a combo of sleeping and eating fantastic food and finally being able to spend a full night in bed together instea of sneaking unsuccessfully around Kel’s parents. 
She splurged and got them a private room at their first hostel in Sevilla. It was more expensive, but ultimately so very very worth it. 
But day three is when they start to explore. They finally venture off of the block around their hostel and began to deep dive into the tiny back paths of the city. They meet a nice handful of locals who invite them to breakfast the next morning (Kel’s spanish speaking skills are undeniably useful to them in this moment) 
And that night...that night is the beginning of the wish fulfillment she’s waited for since she was five years old. A flamenco lesson that promises an authentic experience, real outfits, and a party for all involved at the end. Aubrey was frugal with accomodations, but she spared no expense when it came to the experiences. Especially this one. 
Flamenco is traditionally a single dance with one woman, but she asked and Kel is allowed to come if he likes. The instructor in charge recognizes Aubrey from her call, and drags Kel over to where another man sits with a guitar. He and the man begin to converse in Spanish, and Kel seems to be rapidly making plans. He’s fine with only watching for tonight, this is her dream
Aubrey is thrust into a room with a bunch of other tourists, even a few from her own state, and a gaggle of women who work at the studio. They show her a row of gorgeous traditional dresses, an overwhelming rainbow of frills and explosions of color. 
Aubrey has let her hair go back to it’s natural color by this point, and her long dark locks catch the eye of one of the instructors who pulls her over to a corner of the rack of dresses. The instructor winks at her and pulls out a dress. It’s perfect. 
Kel is also having a fantastic time. He and the guitar player who’s name is Raphael are discussing guitar playing. Raphael wants to teach Kel to play himself so “He can play for his lady when she wants to dance for him again” 
All conversation stops when Aubrey walks out. 
The others are dolled up as well, but Kel only has eyes for his girl. Her dress is black, hugging to her waist and her body. As the ruffles of the dress begin on her arms and her legs, the dress goes from black to a striking bright red. Around her wrists and on her neck is bright gold jewlery, gleaming against her skin. 
Aubrey’s dark hair is wrapped up in a bun with a series of pink to red carnations following the curve of her hair. Her lips are tinged with maroon lipstick. 
Kel is left speechless. Aubrey asks him something and Kel just has to nod and try to catch his breath. The rest of the group giggle at their antics, and Aubrey rolls her eyes at him. She presses a kiss to his cheek, maroon imprint left in its wake, and then she is over with the other girls in front of the instructor. 
Raphael begins to play at the instructors insistence
The dance lesson is fun. Even just watching Kel has fun. Aubrey normally has a hardness in her eyes, a tightness in her shoulders as if she’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Within minutes of the instructors careful praise and guidance Aubrey is loose and even giggling. Kel hasn’t heard a sound like that from her since they were children. 
At the end the group performs the dance all together to a raucuous applause form Kel, Raphael, and the instructor. Then they all go to the patio behind the studio which has been decked out in warm golden lanterns with a table of food prepared. 
Raphael begins to play again and the others mingle close to the food. Aubrey takes Kels hand and they go to a separate corner of the dance floor. They don’t dance in any particular way, just holding one another and rocking to the melody. Her hair has begun to come out of it’s tight bun, but her eyes are bright with happiness and she can’t manage to stop smiling
That night under the glow of the lanterns is the night they first say they love each other. It was a given, they already knew it, but those words are saccharine sweet against their lips as Kel holds Aubrey close to him and they spin while the music plays. 
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sunnydaisy1 · 4 years ago
Text
Arts and Crafts
SAM WILSON X READER
A/N: there is not enough sam fics on tumblr so here I am. I haven’t edited this i am too tired for life right now. Also please send me requests for marvel especially peter parker, sam wilson, bucky, steve and scott.
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You yawned as you walked into the main kitchen and living area the avengers shared. Tony had sent a message round to everyone telling them to gather here and considering that the time was 7 o'clock in the morning you weren't best pleased. Nat was leaning against one of the counters and snorted at your sleepy expression as you walked past her to the coffee machine. You glared at her and returned to your coffee making, rubbing your eyes as the machine started pouring caffeine into your mug. Once the steaming beverage was done, you sleepily dragged yourself to the breakfast bar and plopped down into one of the stools. At that moment, Steve, Sam and Bucky entered the room, obviously having just finished a group workout as they were all freshly showered and wafting man smell everywhere. You rolled your eyes at their annoyingly energetic selves and sipped your coffee. When Sam noticed your slumped form at the bar he smiled softly and walked over to you, scooting into the seat next to you and reaching out to take a sip of your coffee. Unfortunately for you, you were too late to prevent the smirking soldier from slurping a large proportion of your beverage. You grumbled and glared at Sam who passed you back your mug with a cheeky grin. "You look cheery this morning." He said, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning onto the counter. "Well sorry mr early bird but some of us don't appreciate being woken up at the crack of dawn for a meeting stark called and hasnt even turned up for yet." You snarked back, causing a chuckle to fall from Sam, "It's quarter past 7 love, dawn was 3 hours ago." You glared at him for what felt the 100th time that morning and felt a small heat rise to your face as you saw the obnoxiously handsome smirk Sam held on his face and the way his biceps were bulging as they leaned on the bar top. "Same thing." You mumbled, draining the last drops of your coffee. Tony walked in and Steve grumbled a 'finally' as you all turned your attention to the billionaire carrying some pastries. He dumped them in front of you and Sam and you both instantly reached in to pull out breakfast. "What's this all about then Stark?" Sam asked as he chewed on his pecan twist. "Ive gathered you all here because we have got a charity event today for some of the schools in the area. You all will be hosting an activity for the kids. We have 2 hours until they all arrive." You grimaced as you vaguely remembered Tony mentioning the charity event a few weeks back but you had been so busy on missions recently you had forgotten. Judging by the similar looks on the teams' faces around the room, you gathered that the event had also slipped their minds. "So... Steve and Bucky you will be hosting the self defense taster down in the gym, a few agents will also be down there to ensure you aren't teaching them anything too aggressive..." Tony continued to list off everyone in the room and ticked off his checklist, "Okay and finally, Wilson and Agent L/N will be hosting arts and crafts in the downstairs hall." At once Sam spoke up, "wait why have I got stuck with arts and crafts?" You chuckled at his distraught expression, he obviously thought he was above painting and colouring. "Why you scared of a lil glitter Sammy?" You giggled and he glared at you, hating the effect that nickname had on him. "No...I just think my talents lie elsewhere." He replied causing you to snort. "Well suck it up Wilson." Tony replied and you saw Bucky and Steve wetting themselves on the other side of the room. Sam had obviously noticed too as he had a huge frown on his face and was scowling at them. "Alright everybody go get ready, all your supplies should be in the rooms already. And remember, 2 hours until they arrive." You sighed and stood up, placing your mug in the dishwasher. Sam was waiting by the door, and you nudged him as you both walked out, "Come on Wilson, cheer up, your stuck with me for 6 hours." Sam groaned and rolled his eyes, "Oh great." When you both reached the room, your eyes widened when you looked at the large pile of boxes brimming with craft supplies stacked in the middle of the room. "Jeeezz." Sam breathed out, walking over to inspect the mountain. You both opened the cardboard box lids and scanned the supplies, "Where do we even start?" You asked, baffled at the amount Tony had ordered. "Guess we just start with one box and empty them until it's all set up." Sam replied and you nodded, tying your hair up into a ponytail. Almost 2 hours later, the room had been transformed into a neatly organised explosion with paint, pencils, glitter glue and many other supplies on each table. "Okay, we have 5 minutes until the kiddos arrive." Sam stated, checking the watch on his wrist. "Cool, I'm gonna grab us some water and snacks from the kitchen. Try not to break anything while I'm gone." You teased and Sam playfully rolled his eyes, "Alright." When you arrived back into the room, arms loaded with bags of snacks, you immediately laughed at how awkward Sam looked surrounded by little kids all badgering him with questions. You quickly distributed the food into one of the empty cardboard boxes in the corner and walked over to Sam, giggling at his wide eyed expression of fear. "Hey everyone!" You said loudly, gathering all the little kids attentions, "I'm Y/N and this is Sam. We are gonna be doing arts and crafts with you today, how does that sound?" At once all the children cheered and you glanced at Sam who stood in awe and fear. "Okay then, lets all sit down at a table and we can start." The kids all ran to a chair and you walked over to Sam, "you okay Sammy?" He nodded slowly, "I don't know what I'm meant to do, they're so small." You chuckled and took his hand in yours, dragging him over to a table. "It'll be fine just relax, they can smell fear," You whispered. Soon, each child was creating some sort of masterpiece and you were sitting with a small group of kids who were colouring. "Wow Amy I love your dog it looks awesome." You commented, making the shy little girl beam. "Thankyou." She replied and you smiled, carrying on colouring a picture you had attempted to draw of an elephant. Glancing up to check on Sam, you looked to see he had a girl sat on his thigh as they both coloured something. You felt your heart begin to swell and butterflies fill your stomach as you watched the adorable scene. The girl was happily chatting away to Sam and he was nodding, laughing every so often and replying to many of the kids around the table. "Could you please pass me the green?" Tom asked, one of the boys sitting opposite Sam. "Yep, there you go." the soldier replied and Tom thanked him before returning to his drawing. The little girl sat on Sam's thigh tapped his arm and he looked down to her, "I want to give this to my Mum when I go home." Gracie said and Sam nodded, "that's very nice of you." Gracie blushed a little and grinned, "you should give your drawing to Y/N, then she could put it on her fridge like my mummy does." Sam glanced down at the image Gracie had drawn of Sam and you together that he was colouring. "I don't know about that..." He said and Gracie frowned, "you should give it to her and then she'll want to marry you and stick all your drawings on the fridge." Sam choked on his air a little, "why would she want to marry me because I gave her our picture?" Gracie sighed as if Sam had just asked the most obvious question there was, "because she loves you." "What? No she doesn't Gracie." Sam replied and Gracie shook her head, "Mummy told me when people love each other very much they look at each other in a special way and you and Y/N look at each other like that." Sam gaped at the little smiling girl on his lap and struggled to form any words at how outright she was being, "Oh urh no I dont think so." Gracie then giggled and said, "Plus Y/N was looking at your bum earlier so she definitely wants to marry you." Sam felt heat rise to his face and Gracie shrugged, not phased at all by their conversation. The pair continued to colour together and the topic quickly changed to the pasta Gracie had eaten last night for dinner. When the last few kids were leaving the craft room as it had eventually reached 3pm, you sighed and groaned at the mess of glitter and pens all around you. "I do not want to clear this up." You stated and Sam nodded, standing up from his chair, "Neither, I never knew kids could be this messy." You chuckled and glanced at the soldier walking towards you, instantly breaking out into laughter when you noticed the large red streak of paint across his cheek. At once Sam frowned and stopped next to you, "What?" You giggled and wiped your thumb across his cheek, showing him the red paint he had somehow managed to acquire. "Oh..." Sam said, rubbing the paint with the back of his hand but managing to just smudge it more. You chuckled and shook your head, "Sorry Sammy but your just making it worse." He huffed in frustration and put his hand down, giving up with cleaning his face, "Oh well, I'll wash it off later." Eventually, the room was turned back into a presentable state with only specks of glitter littered across the floor that you knew would be impossible to remove. You yawned and walked to the entrance, followed closely by Sam who turned the light off. "Im exhuasted." He said, trying to stifle a yawn. "Me too, I'm gonna head up for a shower." You replied and Sam nodded, "Alright, I'll see you later, chinese for dinner." You softly smiled and both walked to your seperate rooms, ready to wash off the paint and glitter encrusted into your skin. When you had given up on trying to remove all the glitter from your hair in the shower, you headed into your room and huddled under your duvet, wanting to catch up on some netflix before dinner. A knock at the door interrupted your series selection and you looked up to see Sam standing at your door, a small smile on his face. "Hey y/n." He said, closing the door behind him. "Hey Sammy, did you need anything?" You asked, confused why he looked so nervous. "Oh uh no, I just wanted to give you something." He replied, walking closer to you as you stood up and put your laptop on your cabinet. "Oh okay." You said, smiling under Sam's soft gaze. He handed you a sheet of paper and you frowned in confusion before turning it over and giggling. Sam rubbed the back of his neck nervously watching your eyes scan the drawing Gracie and him had made. "I know its stupid but I wanted you to have it." Sam said quietly and you looked up at his shy smile, "I love it." You grinned and he seemed to let out a breath of relief, "you can stick it on your fridge." You chuckled and rubbed your thumb over the drawing of you and sam standing together. "Thanks Sammy." The aforementioned soldier felt heat rise to his face and saw your eyes flick down to his lips. "Uh I should probably find Nat... see what she urm wants for dinner." You said awkwardly, trying not to focus on the way Sam was chewing his lip and the tight grey shirt he was wearing that unfairly showed off his chiselled chest and arms. "Oh right." Sam nodded, seeming to break out of a trance and opened your door, "I'll uh see you later yeah?" You nodded and he stepped out, looking at you one last time and giving you a small smile before disappearing down the corridor. You looked down at the drawing in your hand again and groaned, heart and muscles aching for you to run after the tall man and press your lips against his. Instead, you shut you door and walked to Nats room. When you knocked on her door, the red haired agent opened it with a knowing smirk on her face. "What's Wilson done now?" She asked and you groaned, stepping in to her room. You held out the drawing he gave you and Nat scanned it quickly before looking up at you in confusion. "Why have you got a drawing of you and Sam?" She asked, frowning. "He gave it to me." You sighed, causing Nat to laugh. "He gave it to you?" You nodded and Nat grinned, "wow he is so in love with you." You rolled your eyes at her sarcasm, "Wow thanks Nat. But seriously how am I meant to refrain from jumping his ass when he keeps doing adorable stuff like this?" Nat laughed and handed you back the paper, "You just need to go and tell him or you'll spend the rest of your lives dancing around each other and not doing anything about it." You sighed, "I know. But what if he doesnt like me back then I've just screwed up our friendship and the team dynamic." Nat nodded sympathetically, "I know it's scary but come on that man loves you to death and somehow everyone but you can see it." You looked down at the drawing again and nodded, "Fine, but if i end up dying on the spot from embarrassment after his rejection I'm blaming you." Nat rolled her eyes and pushed you out the door, shouting a 'good luck.' You nervously walked down the corridor and up the short staircase to the kitchen. Sam was leaning against the table, looking at something on his phone with a frown. Your heart instantly sped up and stomach did a hundred flips. You walked softly into the shared dining area and coughed lightly. At once, Sam looked up and smiled. "Urm I uh need to tell you something." You nervously stuttered, avoiding looking into his deep eyes. "Oh okay." Sam said, mind instantly running with negative ideas that you were hurt or he had done something wrong. "I urm well I... I think that you're urm." You looked up at him and his concerned eyes met yours. "Please could you uh turn around." Sam's face flitted with confusion, "wait what?" "I urm I cant talk with you looking at me like that." You said and Sam frowned but turned around. "Okay." He softly said, and you scanned his form, trying to build up the courage to tell him. "I guess I well I just want to say that I think you're the most lovely person in the world and I dont think that I could live without you Sam. You make me feel so comfortable and calm me down when I feel like the world is collapsing on me. You never fail to make me smile and I feel like the room lights up when you walk in. I love how kind and sweet you are to everyone but also how you make the stupidest jokes in the world and laugh your head off. I'm in love with you Sam and want to spend the rest of my life with you." You looked up to see Sam turning around to face you. You couldnt bear to meet his eye, knowing any possible friendship was now gone. A soft hand touched your cheek and lifted your head up, making your teary gaze meet his. "I'm in love with you too Y/N and I never want to leave your side." Sam pressed his lips against yours softly, making your heart stutter with happiness. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed your body against his, deepening the kiss as his hands squeezed your hips tightly. "Hey sam whens the chinese.... oh." Bucky said, his voice trailing off when he saw his best friend passionately kissing you. He wolf-whistled and chuckled, "Took you guys long enough." Sam broke apart from your lips, resting his forehead against yours, "Fuck off Buck." Bucky sniggered and walked out the kitchen again, hand raised in surrender. You opened your eyes to see Sam looking at you, "I love you." You spoke softly, "I love you too" before pressing your lips against his again and smiling into the kiss.
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bakubaewritings · 5 years ago
Text
Home
Bakugo x reader angst/fluff
warning - broken down Bakugo, mental breakdown, sleeping pills, trigger warning, and language
word count 2,541
Love is the feeling of being home when you're not.
That's how you felt when you and Bakugo started dating. Everything was great. You were head over heels in love with the explosive pro hero. After your school years at UA, you and Bakugo finally decided to make it official. Since the beginning, Bakugo had made it clear to you his ambitions, and you respected that his hero work came first. You supported him fully; you told your career was important to you as well. You were a hero, too, though you were a rescue hero. You worked in more in the day time; your quirk involved socking up rays of the sun to heal.
You broke all your walls for him, but Bakugo never did the same, despite you being together for a year. You got close to getting him to tell you that he loved you, but he couldn't say it, and you understood why. Bakugo was very reserved, and you respected that. The most intimate thing you two had ever done was move in together since his apartment was close to both your agencies. Since you were often home before Bakugo, your quirk not being very useful after sundown, you always made dinner for him to eat when he came home later from patrols. Sometimes you'd wake up to help him care for him. In the morning as well, you'd wake up extra early to make him breakfast and kiss him good morning before going to work.
However, the relationship began to become very strained. You were never demanding that Bakugo take a break from his hero work, never asked him to stay home with you. However, when Bakugo began trading breakfast for morning gym workouts was when you decided to tell him how you felt. You were never the confrontational type, but you only ever saw Bakugo when you woke up in the middle of the night to see him sleeping next to you. He had also been growing increasingly distant from you in the last few months. When you had found the time to talk, Bakugo just gave you the cold shoulder, telling you to stop nagging him. You sought out advice from Kirishima and Izuku, feeling like you had no one else to turn to.
"You have to talk to him Y/n, tell him how you miss him. Be honest, I've known Kacchan for years, and he may be mean, but he loves you if you tell him how you feel he'll listen." Midoriya's words of advice encouraged you.
"Bakugo's just really hard at getting close to people, but he does love you." Were Kirishima's words
The Alarm rang at 5 am, and Bakugo groggily stood from the bed. You woke up with after him grabbing his wrist before he could get up. The sun was barely even up yet, "Suki." You called out, tugging him towards you. He looked over his shoulder; his face was far from happy. A scowl formed on his face, eyebrows sunk over his vermillion eyes.
"What? I have to get to the gym." You rose from bed slowly, your eyes glossy at his harsh tone.
"Suki, I miss you, can we please talk." His face contorted as he let out a scoff. You looked at him confused, why was he acting so cold? You asked yourself.
"I wouldn't expect you to understand since your a C class hero, but I have to be at my best to beat that fucking Deku and Shoto and become number 1." He was now facing away from you; he pulled his wrist away roughly from your grasp.
"C- Class Hero?" You raised an eyebrow, your hands balled into fists, collecting the sheets over you.
"Yeah, a C- class hero! Unlike you, I'm important, I have a job to do, and I have to be in the best shape for it." He turned around his face so close to yours as he yelled in your face. Your lip quivered, how could he be so heartless. Tears began to stream down your face.
"I don't have time for this shit."
You looked at him"I can't believe you, I wanted to talk to you, to fix what was wrong in our relationship because I love you and I want to make us work, but you're just an asshole."
"You're what's wrong."
Your eyebrows arched in confusion, "excuse me?"
"You are what's wrong; you come into my life bringing all your shit feelings with you expecting me to fix your problems, you move in here filling my space with your shit. Then you fucking expect me to say I love you, well I don't, and I never will, you're a nuisance." Tears streamed down your face like waterfalls.
"Then I'm sorry for wasting your fucking time." You stood up, "I'm sorry I ever fell in love with you." You screamed at him. Bakugo jut stood up grabbed his gym bag and left, and when he came home, you and your things were gone.
.
.
.
That was two months ago, you had moved out and found yourself staying in your old apartment. You stayed away from Bakugo, who made no effort to contact you. After a year of being together, you couldn't believe it had ended this way. There were many times where you find yourself crying on Mina's couch or during girls night at Ochaco's, but after a while, you realized how strong you were strong, and no matter how much Bakugo hurt you, you knew how good it would feel to see him swallow his words when he saw you again. You were not going to let his words hurt you because you knew you were no C class hero. You spent those two months working on yourself because for the first time in a year you were putting your own needs first. Now you did miss Bakugo extremely, you had gotten so used to him. Sure the last few months were tough, but you missed the good times. "let's go out tonight, Y/N; we can go can you karaoke bar!" Mina's excitement was prominent in her voice. "Yeah, and wear your matching UA Sweater!" Sero's voice called from the background. You giggled. "Alright, I'll catch you guys later." You hung up the phone, placing it down on your kitchen counter. You bit your lip, trying to remember where the sweater was. You looked all over your small apartment, even searching the old boxes of stuff you had from UA you had stuffed into the back of the closet, but with no luck. Sighing you groaned, the sweater was probably at Bakugo's.
Bakugo wouldn't be home this early you sighed as you turned the key in the hole hearing the click. You opened the door gently, feeling the cold air. Bakugo always kept his ac on even in the winter. You placed your key on the coffee table after today. You wouldn't need it. You started to look around for your sweater, carful not to leave a trace. When you opened the bedroom door, you heard the running water of the bathtub.
'That's weird, Bakugo hates baths.' You didn't hear anything except the running water, so you began to get a little worried, you looked onto the dresser and found bottles of prescription sleeping pills. You jiggled the doorknob of the bathroom aggressively, the door flying open. Bakugo's head fell slowly into the water, and he was fully submerged.
"Bakugo!" You rushed towards the bathtub shutting on the water. You pulled Bakugo's head from under the water, and out of the bath, the floor was covered in water from the overflowing tub. He looked awful, deep dark purple bags under his sunken puffy eyes, stubble on his face. You grabbed pulled him close to your neck, your fingers feeling for a pulse. It was weak, but it was there. Bakugo started coughing up water; his eyes opened slowly. Everything was blurry at first, then he saw you, you held him in your arms the bathroom light above you made it look like a halo.
He saw your leaking from your eyes; they ran down your cheeks. "Y/n?" He whispered, bringing his hands to pull his hair. He wiggled out of your grasp, falling to his knees on the floor.
"Wake up, Katsuki! Wake up! You're not real, this just another hallucination; it's a fucking dream." Bakugo was now the one crying. His fist beat down on the wet bathroom tiles, the water splashing everywhere. You grabbed his wrists tightly, pulling his towards you. "Katsuki, stop." You pulled his chest to yours, not caring that your clothes were soaked. "It's me; I'm real." You whispered.
Bakugo broke down in your arms, letting out painful sobs as his body shook violently. His words were almost incoherent as he let out heart-wrenching practically screams of pain. He clung onto you his arms around your waist, face buried in your neck. Your hands tangled themselves in his hair; his heartbeat was pounding against his rib cage.
"Please don't leave." He whimpered, his breath was shakey. "Please, Y/N, I didn't mean anything of that shit that I said." His arms gripped you even tighter. He looked at you, his vermillion eyes wide, face red. "I won't Bakugo, I promise," Bakugo let out a wince, "No, I'm not Bakugo; I'm Katsuki, your Katsuki." He cried even more. You had never seen him like this, not in a million years would you have thought you would see Katsuki Bakugo so broken.
You helped him stand up slowly; he clutched onto you, afraid if he let go, you would disappear right before his eyes. You helped him onto the bedroom and laid him onto the bed. "I'm gonna clean up ok; I'll be back." You reassured him, but he didn't let go. "Please, Y/N, I need to know you're real." He swallowed, pulling you onto the bed. You laid in front of him, your arms around his broad shoulders.
"I missed you so much I-" Bakugo started stuttering, "Y/n, I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't mean anything of those awful things I said to you," He was crying hysterically, "I, I wanted to." You shushed him, gently playing with his hair. "Don't talk, for right now, just relax, ok." You felt his head nod against your neck. Several minutes passed, and you began to hear small little snores against your neck. The bed under you was soaked. You processed that Bakugo was fully bare clinging onto you, his eyes red and puffy from crying. You pulled away from Bakugo and covered him with the duvet covers, moving to the bathroom to clean up. You drained the tub and begun to mop up every couple of moments, checking up on Bakugo to see he was still sleeping. You were picking up all the scattered clothes and towels, throwing them into the washing machine along with your wet clothes. You were putting on one of Bakugo's shirts when you hear him start to thrash around in bed. You raced into the room to find him sitting up his head buried in his hands. You climbed onto the bed, moving towards him, in between his legs.
"Katsuki, I'm here, baby. I'm right here." Bakugo wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest.
"It's always the same whenever I close my eyes." He breathed raggedly
"Months back, I was fighting this Villian, and I got hit with this quirk and, and I saw you. You died in my arms; I couldn't get to you in time." He closed his eyes tightly, and tears slipped out. "When I became distant, I was trying to get stronger, stronger to protect you. I would wake up early because every time I closed my eyes, I saw you in my arms bleeding out."
"Oh, Katsuki, why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I'm an asshole, I'm awful at expressing and sharing my feelings, I'm supposed to be your hero, but instead I became a villain to you. The dreams started getting worse, and I said that because I thought If you weren't with me, you would be safer. I'm so fucking sorry, Y/N; I should have just told you, I should have told you." Bakugo clutched his chest tightly, "After you left, they got so much worse, I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see you leaving again and again, and it always ends the same, you dead in my arms. I even tried taking those stupid sleeping pills to try and get some rest, but nothing worked. I even tried a bath, a fucking bath because I remembered how much you use to love them, how you said it made you so relaxed before bed, and when I did shit that you did, it felt like you were there., Like I could hear your voice giggling and laughing happily. I missed you. Is still miss you, Y/N I miss you." You looked into his eyes; he was so broken. The man you loved, you admired, was crying, completely broken in front of you. You cupped his wet cheeks connecting your lips. His hands caressed your naked waist pulling you towards him.
When you kissed him, it felt like nothing had changed. The butterflies fluttered in your stomach, and fireworks went off. Everything around you faded away, and it was only you and Bakugo. You felt like you were finally home again. Bakugo pulled away, looking into your gorgeous e/c eyes.
"Y/n I love you, I fucking love you. I've loved you since I met you in UA, but I was too dense to fucking say anything. I should have said it a long time ago; please forgive me."
"Of course I forgive you, Idiot," you cried, kissing him again.
"I said such horrible things, baby; I'm so sorry. You're the strongest woman I know, you're stronger than me, or fucking Deku or that half and half bastard. Stronger than any of us could ever be." His words were shaky, but you knew he meant every single word, he was just trying not to cry again.
"I love you, Katsuki, my katsuki."
"With you, Y/n, I feel safe. I feel like I'm home, and I promise I will always keep you safe, and I'll never let go.
bonus  “Bakugo! You look like a shit dude.” Kaminari laughed as you and Bakugo walked in hand and hand into the bar.  “You guys are back together?” Izuku smiled excitedly, his eyes sparkling. You and Bakugo shared a loving glance at one another. “You bet your ass we are Deku.” He smirked, sitting down inside the booth with your old classmates, pulling you down onto his lap.  “For the long haul.” Your classmates erupted in cheers, Kirishima even states drinks were on him to celebrate.  
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wayward-mikaelson · 4 years ago
Text
When You’re Gone
Word Count: 4319
About: Reversed situation of How To Save A Life. What would happen if it were you reeling from Steve Roger’s death
Characters: Reader, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, Bucky Barnes, Wanda Maximoff, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Clint Barton
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader
Warnings/Trigger Warnings: Language, Character Death, Blood and Inury, Blood and Gore, Depressed Reader, Time Jump, Surprise Ending
A/N: This popped into my head while listening to Avril Lavinge’s When You’re Gone. I knew that I knew I needed to get this down because I needed to know how the reader would react when the love of her life died in the explosion. Would she wallow or would she try to get back to somewhat a normal life?
Song: When You’re Gone By Avril Lavigne 
*This work contains content for the 18 and up crowd.
**Please DO NOT copy and paste my work anywhere WITHOUT my permission and WITHOUT giving me credit. I work too hard on my work and would hate to have it stolen. You obviously can share the link.
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“I’ll be fine Babe,” You stared into Steve’s worried eyes as you turned away. But you turned back, “Don’t forget, we have those dinner reservations tonight.” You added and saw a slight smile and shine in Steve’s eyes. Enough for you to turn around and head on up to do a walk around.
You had been excited for this dinner Steve had planned. He had waltzed right into the room four days ago and had told you that he made those reservations. He didn’t tell you where, just when. He had done this a few times before so you loved the mystery behind it. You thought it was romantic. That’s probably why you were attracted to Steve that very first day.
You took the stairs two at a time, while lost in your thoughts. The agent behind you, despite the muscle and looking like a body builder, had a hard time keeping up with you. You opened the door to the eight floor and began to look around. Making sure that everything was good and nothing suspicious were hidden away.
“Hey, do you think you can slow down some?” the agent asked, clearly out of breath.
“If you can’t keep up, then you need to find a new fucking line of work,” you shot at him. You half excepted to hear Steve tell you to watch your language but, you didn’t. He was probably too occupied with the mission to say anything.
“Yes ma’am,” the agent replied back.
Something made you stop dead in your tracks. You stood in the middle of the room when you felt your body grow cold. The pit that was in your stomach early that morning returned. It tightened around in your stomach more, making you feel sick.
Something was wrong.
Something was going to happen.
***
You stopped chopping the carrots. You set the knife you held aside and rested your head in your hands. You rubbed your face as you recalled the events of that nightmare day. You didn’t want to think about it but, the memories would hit you hard and randomly throughout the day.
Over time, you had gotten better at pushing them aside to try and finish the task you had at hand. So that’s what you tried to do. You took a deep breath and looked up from your hands. You saw Wanda, your best friend in the entire world standing there. The look on her face reflected what you were feeling deep down. She knew how you were truly feeling. You couldn’t hide it from her.
Wanda walked over to you and pulled you into her arms. “I’m sorry,” she said softly, brushing her hand down your long hair. “It’ll get easier over time.”
“I don’t think it ever will,” you whispered. “I feel so empty and cold all the time.” It was true. You felt like you had this huge hole in your chest that you couldn’t seem to fill. You were always so cold that no matter what you did, you could never get warm.
“I know, I know,” Wanda cooed into your ear. “Think of a happy memory you had with him. That helped me when I lost my brother.”
You closed your eyes and remembered when you first kissed Steve. It was one of your favorite memories that you held close to your heart.
Tony called a late briefing, and it took everything in you to not tell him to go fuck himself. Your body had been killing you and all you wanted to do was relax in a nice warm bath or just pass out on your bed. But you saw Steve rolls his eyes and walk into the conference room. You weren’t alone.
The whole meeting, you saw from the corner of your eyes that Steve looked at you. You either kept your eyes on your notepad or on the speaker. Tony talked about stuff that you clearly couldn’t understand because science wasn’t your strong suit in school. Bruce would cut in and correct him or add onto something. You hoped that the meeting would end soon. For Tony’s or Bruce’s sake.
Finally when the meeting came to a close, you got up and walked out to the court yard. You wanted to stretch your legs and breath in the night air before calling it a night. You heard the doors open and the familiar sound of Steve’s shoe hit the pavement. You smiled to yourself like a giddy little school girl.
“Do you mind if I sit next to you?” He had asked. So gentlemen like.
“Yeah,” you felt your cheeks flush and you know that Steve would be able to see it in the bright moonlight. But you didn’t care.
The two of you talked for a few more hours about whatever came to mind. You listened to Steve tell some embarrassing tales about Bucky and you promised that you wouldn’t tell anyone else. You laughed so hard, that you had to think back to when someone this handsome had made you laugh that hard.
It had been awhile.
“Let me walk you back to your room,” Steve stood up with you and offered his arm.
You stared at him, your thoughts running with scenario after scenario. Steve stared back and you could only wish what was going through his head. Then Steve turned slightly and had your face in his hands. He pulled your face gently to his and pressed his lips to yours. You sighed and wrapped your arms around his neck.
In that moment, you knew your heart found epic, true love.
***
Finally, finishing the fifth and final floor you still couldn’t shake that deep pit in your stomach. You only had a few more floors until you were out of the building and the agent with you was much more annoying than anything else in the world.
“How’s it looking up there?” Steve’s voice rang in your ear. You smiled and let out a breath of air.
Steve was okay.
Steve was alive.
But the pit in your stomach remained.
“We’re all clear up here,” you said into your wrist. You wanted to add that the agent with you was a pain in the ass but this mission was almost done. So you didn’t even bother. “We’re just passing through the fourth floor.” You stopped and smirked. “Shouldn’t be too much longer, Captain.” You could already picture Steve’s face starting to turn a deep shade of red. You knew what calling him Captain did to him. You didn’t even care that the rest of the team could have heard you.
Everyone knew that Captain America was fucking you for that last few years.
“Move faster Agent Y/L/N,” the way Steve had said your name, sent shivers down your spine. You felt the familiar ache in between your legs. Steve knew how to play this game well.
“Could you guys not?” the agent behind you said. “We’re working here. Save it for the bedroom.”
You turned to see him raising an eyebrow. You wanted to smack it off his face so fucking bad that you had your fists clenched. You could have done this walk through by yourself but you knew protocol. You had to have a partner go up with you. You closed the distance between you and the agent and stared up into this dark eyes. You saw fear flicker in them. Good, you thought. He knew who had the bigger set of balls in this room.
“You’re lucky I’m in somewhat of a good mood. Otherwise, I would kick your ass right here.” You grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked his face down to your level. “The team wouldn’t even care. Better yet, Fury wouldn’t give a flying fuck.”
You let go of the agent and turned on your heels. This mission was almost over. You’d be back at the compound cuddling up with Steve before going out to dinner. You didn’t have time to deal with the agent whose minutes were numbered. You reached for the door leading to the stairwell when you were suddenly thrown back with a loud explosion surrounding you. Your body hit a table and your fell to the ground.
“Y/N?!” You heard the panic in Steve’s voice. You couldn’t find your voice because you hurt just about everywhere. “Y/N, sweetheart? Can you hear me? Are you okay?” Steve’s voice shook with panic in your ear. It was a matter of time before he went in after you. Which he would be stupid to do.
You got onto all fours and looked up and saw the agent had been been killed on impact. Fuck, you thought. He had been annoying but you never wanted him dead. Maybe bruised and battered up. Never dead. The pain in your arms caused you to collapse. You rolled over, finally able to find your voice.
“Steve…” you groaned before loosing consciousness.
***
Your eyes opened and you were still sitting in the shower with your legs drawn up to your chest. The water had grown cold and your fingertips were shriveled up prunes. You stood up and turned the water off and wrapped up in a towel.
Stepping out of the shower, you noticed in the mirror how red and puffy your eyes had been. After two months you still bawled your eyes out. Crying and the pain you felt, even though you hated the feeling, it was the only reminder that Steve Rogers had been real. His love for you, you didn’t ever want to forget that feeling.
You thought about all the times you and Steve made love. He took his time with you. He made sure to always kiss every part of your body. He made sure to let his hands linger in all the right places just to toy with you and make you squirm under him. You would claw at his back when he  hit all the right spots while inside of you. Your lips would mold slowly together while coming down from the high of both your orgasms. Just long enough before being pulled into his arms before drifting off to sleep.
You closed your eyes and a few tears rolled down your face. God, you missed that feeling. You wondered if you would ever be that close to someone again. You hardly doubted it. A love like that, that was always a once in a life time kind of thing.
***
You woke with the sound of metal groaning and pieces of the the room falling around you. You heard the faint voices of people shouting but you couldn’t make out who they were. There was a ringing in your ears and shook your head to make it stop.
You attempted to get up but you realized something was pinning you down. You sat up a bit and saw a slab of ceiling pinning your lower half. That slab should have crushed your legs but you noticed a wooden table sticking under it. You let your head fall back on the ground. You were stuck and alone.
“The fuck I’m not,” you heard a familiar voice yell. “I’m not leaving your ass in here.” It was Bucky. You weren’t alone. If Bucky was here, then Steve had to be too. Opening your mouth, you tried to say something but nothing came out.
More debris fell. “Buck,” Steve’s voice rang out clear and it was closer than you imagined. “I’m not going to-“ Then he stopped. You wondered what made him stop talking. “Bucky!” There was a hint of joy in his voice. “Get over here. I found her.”
Within minutes the heaviness was lifted off you. The look of relief flooded Steve’s face as he knelt down and brushed the loose hair from your face. The biggest smile spread across this face as he gathered you into his arms. You couldn’t help but give a pained smile as well, everything felt right now that Steve had you in his arms.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Steve planted a soft kiss to your head. “I got you now.”
Then everything in that moment changed.
As Steve carefully made his way back towards the stairwell, the floor gave out underneath the two of you. Bucky, who was quick to think grabbed the two of you. His metal hand gripped you tight while his other hand gripped his best friend.
Both the weight of you and Steve held Bucky down where he was. There was no possible way Bucky could swing the two of you up. Not without one of you slipping from his grip and losing one of you. You and Steve watched as Bucky tried hard to calculate in this super human brain how to save the two of you. Then part of your hand slipped from Bucky’s metal hand.
Steve’s eyes met with yours. “Bucky, you take care of her.”
“No!” you and Bucky shouted. You were happy to have your voice back again. “Steve,” you continued. “Please don’t do this.”
“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Steve’s eyes started to fill with tears. “I love you.” Steve reached his free hand up and pried Bucky’s hand off his arm. You began to plead and cry for Steve to stop but, you started to slip more from Bucky’s metal hand. Then before your hand could fully fall out of Bucky’s, his flesh hand was already on yours. As Bucky pulled you up, you knew it was too late.
Steve was gone.
***
Your eyes flew up and you sat upright in your bed. Sweat covered  your body as if you had been back in that burning, collapsing building. You wiped the sweat from your head and looked at the empty space next to you. The space that had once been Steve’s and it still slightly smelled like him. It was still strong after two months.
The time on Steve’s digital clock read two in the morning. The normal time you’d been waking up since coming back from the hospital. You kicked your legs out of the beg and walked out of the room. You wore pajama bottoms and one of Steve’s shirts.
Entering the kitchen, you saw Bucky sitting at the small island. Bucky, you take care of her, rang through your ears again. And Bucky had. He stayed with you the whole time your were in the hospital. You checked on your countless times that first month. He somehow always knew when you’d be up from a nightmare. That, or Bucky’s and yours nightmares were synced together.
You pulled up a chair next to Bucky as he slid a cup of tea your way. And you guys just sat there while you sipped on your hot tea.
“If there was a way to save him, I would have,” Bucky said softly. Never once had Bucky talked about that day with you. Normally, the two of you would sit in silence for thirty minutes before going back to bed. Tonight was different.
“I know, Buck,” you turned to him and place your hand on his shoulder. “I would have done the same if I were him.” It was true. You would have ripped your hand from Bucky if it meant that Steve would live.
Bucky patted your hand as he met your gaze. You saw how sad he was and you knew he missed Steve probably as much as you did. “You know, I found an engagement ring in his night stand,” You took another sip of your tea. “I think that’s what dinner was supposed to be that night.”
“Y/N,” Bucky leaned back in his chair. He had this look on his face and you knew he didn’t know. “I’m so sorry. If I had known, I would have made sure Steve stayed.”
“But would he have stayed behind?” You asked laughing lightly. You both knew Steve inside and out. Bucky gave a light laugh as well.
“You’re right.”
You thought back to night before that mission. You and Steve had been arguing about you going. If only you knew what your knew now, you would have stayed behind. But you didn’t. You couldn’t understand why Steve kept telling you to stay behind. He didn’t have a good reason and the only to make him shut up about it was to wear that red dress he loves so much on you.
You ignored Steve most of the night at Tony’s party. You talked and drank with your friends and for the hell of it, you let some random dude hit on you while Natasha and Clint took bets on your reaction. Natasha obviously won. You, having had too much to drink, told the poor dude you already had a boyfriend and it was Captain Fucking America.
After that you went and looked for Steve. Once your found him, you pulled him off to a private single bathroom. In no time Steve had your dress unzipped and pooling at your feet. Leaving you only in your lace bra and not so matching underwear. His lips already on your neck as he picked you up and placed you on the counter top.
Within in minutes, Steve had you in a moaning mess as he thrusted himself in and out of you at a hard and fast pace. Your nails were starting to dig into his lower back as you felt your stomach tightening up with the strong orgasm that was coming. Soon, you were crying out in pleasure while Steve filled you up.
He helped you back into your dress and helped get your hair back into place. He peppered a few kisses on your neck, sending a shiver down your back.
“I love you,” he told you before the two of you returned to the party.
The next morning, the same argument resumed about you not going on that mission. At that time you had that pit in your stomach. You told leave to just leave it alone and marched yourself not the that helicopter. You ignored him until he caught your arm before entering that building.
***
You woke up in the hospital. Everything was hazy and blurry but soon you focused on two figures by your side. As soon as your vision started to come back to you, there sat both Natasha and Bucky. They were still in their gear. Bucky’s face had cuts and bruises on it. Just his look alone brought everything back. It felt like getting hit by a semi.
Steve was gone.
You could feel it deep down.
Y/N?” Your eyes flickered towards Natasha’s face. It looked like she was holding it all in. Steve was her best friend. She was the one who brought you into the team. She was the one to introduce you and Steve. She watched the both of you fall in love. You did’t know it at the time but Natasha was there when Steve bought the ring.
“We found him,” her eyes fell to the floor. You knew it wasn’t good.
Bucky leaned forward and took your hand, but you pulled it back. You weren’t sure about how you felt towards him. Not yet anyways. “The entire fourth floor fell on him after the final explosion. He didn’t make it.”
The world around you froze. You slowly turned away from Natasha and Bucky. You stared at the blank wall and let the silent tears fall down your face. You covered your mouth to keep the sob from slipping from your lips. But it failed. The sob echoed around the room. You hugged yourself as you let yourself cry.
“I’ll go find a doctor,” Natasha said softly before leaving the room.
You felt Bucky’s hand on your arm and this time you didn’t pull back at his touch. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. You could tell by the shakiness in his voice, Bucky was close to tears as well.
You lost the love of your life.
Bucky lost his best friend.
***
You stared at the head stone that read ROGERS in big bold letters. One part of your brain was still trying to convince you that all of this was just a silly nightmare. That you’d be waking up soon to Steve’s strong and warm arms pulling you in close. But you knew better. Even though you wanted this to be just a dream and to have the man you loved back in your life.
“Oh, Steve,” you whispered tracing the letters of his name. “I miss you like crazy. Bucky's been real good too. We’re keeping each other in some sort of check. We’ll be fine.”
Light footsteps stop next you and from the corner of your eye, you see Bucky sit next to you. The two of you did this once a week. You’d get out of compound and just sit at Steve’s grave for a few hours. Either talking and telling stories or just enjoying the silence and weather.
“With everything going on,” You said taking thew water bottle Bucky offered you. “I didn’t catch it. Why everything has been hitting me harder and why my emotions are through the roof. I should have caught this.”
“What’s that?” Bucky asked.
“I took three pregnancy tests,” You looked at Bucky. “They all read positive.”
Bucky choked back on his water. “What? How far along?”
“About two months, I think.” You down at your hands. “The night before the mission, Steve and I snuck away from Tony’s party.”
Bucky stared at you, the ground and turned to look at Steve’s headstone. “Steve’s final wish was for me to take care of you.” He rested his metal hand on my leg. “And that’s what I’m going to do. You and Steve’s kid aren’t going to be alone at all.”
And Bucky did just that.
***Eight Years Later***
You sat on the porch watch a little blonde hair blue eyed boy play in the yard. He had on a small Captain America costume on, wielding a small shield. The two things gifted to him on his seventh birthday by your old team members. They loved your son dearly, especially Natasha who had all the good stories about Steve to tell him.
Your son was aware of who his birth father was. He was also aware of the sacrifice he made. His eyes would always light up when he heard stories of his father. His little smile was the same as Steve’s. It made you happy. That’s when you realized that Wanda had been right all those years ago. The pain had somewhat gone away. It lingered here and there sometimes when you thought about Steve and how you did this life without him knowing his son. A son who was exactly like him. The love that Steve gave to you never left. It reflected back through your son.
“Still going at it, I see,” Bucky sat next to you and handed you a glass of water.
Just like Bucky promised, you and your son weren’t alone at all. He was there for every appointment. He was there for the odd midnight cravings. He was there when you went into labor and stayed by your side for two days until it ended with an emergency C-section that had almost ended your life. He was even there for all the sleepless nights helping out with nightly feedings and soiled diapers. When you quit the Avengers, so did he.
Bucky was always there.
You didn’t know how it happened but falling for Bucky wasn’t apart of the plan at all. It was slow and unexpected. It scared the hell out of both you. But the two of you slowly went with it. Soon it wasn’t just small, gentle kisses on the cheek or lips brushing on your neck. It slowly turned into long nights of making love and learning to love someone again.
Now years later, you and Bucky had been married for five years. You guys lived on the outskirts of town in a two story house with a nice white picket fence. It had been perfect for you guys.
“He’s fallen like five times with that thing, but he always gets back up,” you rested your head on Bucky’s shoulder and he placed a kiss on it.
“Very much like Steve,” Bucky chuckled. “You know, if he takes after Steve, he will be more than a handful when he’s older. How are you feeling today, Doll?” Bucky’s metal hand rested on your bulging belly. You were about seven months pregnant.
“This one seems to be kicking my ass,” you shifted around on the porch bench. “They always seem to be in my ribs, trying to push outward.”
Bucky leaned down. “Take it easy there kiddo.” His blue eyes lookED up at you and it made your heart flutter.
“Dad?” A small voice brought both you and Bucky up right. Those bright blue eyes looked at the two of you. Breathing deeply after having probably ran as fast as he could. Despite knowing who is birth father was, he always called Bucky dad.
“What’s up sport?” Bucky turned his entire attention to the little boy in front of you guys.
“Are you going to tell me the real story of how you got that metal arm?”
“Like I said last week, when you’re older,” Bucky leaned forward with a smirk. “But I’ll tell you it was a secret organization. Now, go get washed up, dinner is almost ready.”
You saw your sons eyes light up and mouth fall open. “What secret organization?” He asked in wonder.
“Steve,” the two of you said the boys names at the same time.
“Okay, okay,” he backed up and ran inside.
You and Bucky exchanged a look. “He’s going to find out the truth one day,” You said slowly getting off the bench. Bucky helped steady you.
“Just like his dad.”
The End
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babygirlgalitzine · 4 years ago
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read chapter three here
It looks like an explosion in a craft factory. The table is full with glossy pictures, freshly printed and cut out. There's photos scattered everywhere, all spread out so Ben can see them all clearly. Glue is everywhere, and in front of Ben: a book. It's got black pages, though they were mostly already covered up with pictures upon pictures. Alongside the photographs, is Ben's neatest handwriting, scrawled in obnoxious silver ink that wouldn't be out of place on his mum's Christmas present tags. 
Ben's been planning this for weeks now, after previously having no idea what to get Callum for his birthday. What do you get the man who claims he has everything he's ever needed? The idea was borne from something Callum said in passing. Lexi had been laughing at a photo of Ben when he was younger, around the same age that she is now, possibly even younger, and had innocently asked Callum if he had any pictures from when he was a little boy. Callum was calm about it, of course he was, but Ben could see the sadness that flickered through his eyes when Callum explained that his parents never kept photos of when he was a young boy. It wouldn't be the same, but it's something that Callum would be able to hold close to his heart; something sentimental that he would be able to look back on in old age, remembering the early parts of his and Ben’s relationship. 
He looks at all the photos before he glues them to the paper, trying his best to put them all in chronological order. He picks one up, and notices that it's one of his favourite photos they share together, taken by Lola only a few months prior. They had just come in from their monthly date night, overtired from their day of looking after a sick Lexi. Their date night had been cut short, because Ben couldn't stop yawning, and when they walked back in, they had managed to reach as far as the sofa, before they collapsed asleep. In the photo, Ben was on top of Callum, both of them asleep in each other's arms, mouths hitched open in lazy, soft snores, hair flat against their heads. It looks sweet, and Ben can feel the love radiating off of them from the photo. He sticks glue to the underside of the photo, and sticks it to the paper, unable to stop smiling at it.
Also on that page, is another firm favourite of Ben's. It's one that he took of Callum, not long ago. Callum has a cheesy grin spread firmly across his face, dimples imprinted on his cheeks. He's got somewhat more of a stubble, because Ben convinced him not to shave that morning. He's cocooned in a blanket, hair disguised, bar from a few strands that escaped. Ben chuckles at it, remembering how Callum towered above him, holding the blanket under his chin, posing for a photo before he fell down on top of Ben, wrapping the blanket around both their bodies.
It’s weird, how photos can hold so many memories. Especially with Callum. He can remember every photo: where they were, why it was being taken. He can remember the joke Callum told him to make him smile for a ‘cute’ photo, which really just resulted in Ben rolling his eyes with a daft grin spreading across his lips, and Callum blurry from laughing that much he couldn’t stop moving. He can remember the photos taken on nights out, Callum's arms wrapped around his waist, their bodies pressed so close together that they couldn't even put a piece of paper between them. Ben picks up the pen, and draws a heart next to the photo.  
In the end, the photo album is filled with memories and snapshots of Ben and Callum’s relationship. Ben had no idea how many photos they had together, or where half of them even came from, but there was a lot, judging by how long he was sitting at the table, even going so far as to check the clock every ten minutes, making sure that Callum wouldn’t walk in and ruin the whole surprise. He’s not one for romantic gestures, or so he believes, but Ben’s proud of this present. It’s sentimental. Made with love, for love. It’s something that Callum would keep forever, a memento of his memories collected with Ben, a small insight into their life. 
Callum's birthday quickly approaches, and Ben is impatient in giving him his presents. It's exciting, being able to share something like this with the person he loves. Callum's barely awake, sitting on the sofa with his eyes drooping shut over a cup of tea every time he blinks. Ben sits down next to him, leg crossed underneath his body, and Callum instinctively reaches out to rest his hand on Ben's thigh. It's lovely, being this close. Ben leans in, his body just sinking in towards Callum, making his heart feel like an explosion of butterflies and happiness. It's embarrassing, really, how much Callum has the capability of making Ben happy just by being around. He presses a kiss to Callum's cheek, just above his dimple, and Ben can feel the blood rushing against his lips as Callum heats up under the embrace. Ben pulls back, and watches Callum for a moment, taking it all in. He can't believe he gets this now, forever. He gets to feel happy and giddy and in love, with Callum, forever. Callum takes another sip of his tea, and cocks an eyebrow, twisting his face to look at Ben. 
"Have I got something on my face?" He asks, running his hand across his cheeks. 
Ben shakes his head. "No." He leans down the side of the sofa, where he's previously placed Callum's present. He brings it up, all wrapped neatly and placed in a gift bag. "This is for you." 
Callum leans forward, putting his mug down on the coffee table. "You didn't have to get me anything." He admits, shocked that Ben even thought to surprise him with a present. "Just being with you is enough." 
"You're my boyfriend, of course you're getting a present." Ben rolls his eyes. "And I'll take you out tonight, if you want? Go and have a meal somewhere, just the two of us?"
Callum smiles, looking back at Ben. "That sounds lovely. Thank you." He reaches and gets the gift bag, letting the strings of it dangle over the creases of his fingers. He opens the bag, and retrieves the present from it, letting the empty gift bag fall to his feet, toppling over to lay on the carpeted floor. He places it onto his lap, and tears the blue paper away, revealing the scrapbook that Ben had spent hours making. Callum picks it up, heat rising in his face and tears bubbling away, threatening to spill out and make tracks down his cheeks. He gently runs his trembling fingers over the borders and around the rings on the edge. On the front page, Ben has written their anniversary date across the bottom and had placed their newest photo in the middle, pride of place. 
"You like it?" Ben asks softly, inching closer to Callum, their thighs pressing together. He places an arm around Callum's back, hugging them together. 
Callum turns his head, nose just brushing past Ben's face. "I love it." He admits, tears a permanent fixture in his eyes, threatening to fall. "You didn't have to do this." 
"I wanted to. You're my boyfriend and I love you, Cal." Ben admits, bringing his spare arm around as he presses his thumb to Callum's cheek, falling into place. They connect in a soft kiss, and Callum sighs into it, relaxing under the pressure of Ben's lips against his own. Ben pulls away, but keeps his forehead pressing against Callum's, eyes gazing into one another. 
"What's in it?" Callum asks, eyebrows furrowing just a tad.
Ben pulls back, giving Callum some space. "Memories." He says, as if that explains it all. "I saw you, when Lexi was asking about your baby pictures. I get it. I wasn't happy then, but at least I have the photos that I can look back at, and say it got better. So I thought I'd put together our memories, so when we're old and grandparents, we can show the grandkids that we used to be quite cool."
Callum huffs out a laugh, bright and dizzy with happiness. "You're amazing." He leans forward and presses a kiss to Ben's lips unexpectedly, Ben faltering for just a moment before his brain kicks back into action and he kisses Callum back. "And I love you, too."
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Burned Part 5
Summary:  Alfie Solomons is in need of a secretary. Tommy Shelby mentions a young woman in need of employment. From there the two step into a dangerous dance together.
Chapter 5: 
//Just so people are aware, this fic is cross-posted under my AO3 account and Wattpad account. 
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        It was still raining the next morning so Alfie and Louise drove to the bakery. They stopped at her apartment beforehand to allow her to get a fresh change of clothes and her coat. They didn’t say much on the short drive there. Louise nibbled at a pastry Evelyn had wrapped up for her. Alfie didn’t eat.
           The night before seemed like a fever dream. Both of them acted out of character. She broke down, not afraid to appear vulnerable. He had comforted her and didn’t interrupt once. Time would tell if they returned to normal that day. After all, Alfie had killed her husband. It was perplexing to Louise. She knew the proper reaction would be to run. But it never crossed her mind.
           Louise subtly glanced over at the gangster. He was focused on the rain slipping across the car window and didn’t notice. The brim of his hat tilted down a bit, covering his eyes in a shadow. With his head at an angle, she could view his profile. He’d trimmed his bear recently and she could clearly see the bare strip of skin running down his right cheek. She’d noticed it before, but it was much more prominent when he kept his facial hair shorter.
           Louise was apprehensive. She wasn’t afraid to ask about the scar, Alfie wouldn’t mind. She was more afraid of what caused it. In Alfie’s line of work, it could’ve been anything.
           The car stopped and Alfie snapped out of his thoughts while Louise averted her eyes so he didn’t notice she was looking at him.
           “Watch out there, there’ll be fucking puddles everywhere.” He said as he got out of the car.
           She stepped out and opened the umbrella they’d brought. She caught up to Alfie, skirting around the muddy puddles.
           Alfie pushed open the heavy side doors, allowing her inside. “Morning Ollie.” He greeted the young man who was waiting by the entrance.
           Louise closed up the umbrella, shaking it out near the door. She leaned it against the wall to dry.
           “Mr. Sabini is here,” Ollie said warily.
           Alfie’s face visibly changed. His forehead creased and his mustache twitched. “Mate, I’m gonna need you to fucking say that to me again because I thought I heard you say…”
           “You have an appointment with Mr. Sabini.” Louise stepped into the conversation. She shrugged off her coat and casually lifted her hands to fix the pins in her hair.
           He cocked his head to the side and his eyes flicked to her. “Eh?”
           “I told you yesterday.” She met his gaze. “I told Ollie too so he’d know.”
           Ollie cringed subtly, fearing the worse. It was very hard to stop Alfie in the middle of his ranting. And usually, if someone tried, his anger would just change course to the person who interrupted him.
           Alfie swallowed and regrouped. “Yeah…’course.” He nodded briskly. “I remember.” He didn’t. The day before he’d been too preoccupied to really retain anything.
           She shook her head slightly because she knew he had forgotten. “I’ll be in your office if you want me to be in the meeting as well.” She walked down the hallway through the distillery.
           “He’s downstairs,” Ollie told his boss.
           Alfie grunted in agreement and pulled off his jacket, ready to get into the meeting with Sabini. He lagged behind Louise, watching her walk to his office. Her high-heeled boots clicked across the concrete and drew the worker’s attention.
           Unaware of Alfie’s presence nearby, the younger men ogled at Louise. One of them wolf-whistled at her. He was too new to the bakery to fully realize his mistake.The second the fateful whistle hit his ears, Alfie snapped back into the rampage that had been cut off. He shoved his coat at Ollie and went towards the direction of the noise. He moved like a storm cloud, intimidating and dangerous. Louise heard him approaching and turned around.
           “Right, who was that?” He shouted.
           Some of the men looked caught off guard. But it was never too early or late for a Solomons-style performance review. The warehouse went silent aside from some scuffles and machinery noises.
           In the silence, the pressure was building up, perfect for an explosion. “Right, either someone steps forward or everyone in this fucking place is getting it, yeah?”
           Louise’s eyes widened. “Alfie…”
           “And since this fucking weather has got me in such a bloody fantastic mood, I’ll let you lot choose.” He held his arms out like a ringleader of a circus. “I’ll dock your pay or I’ll fucking break both your hands!” He slammed his cane down on the floor.
           One man decided to point out the culprit, subtly nodding to the young man to the left of him.
           “Seems we’ve got some honest people her after all. Louise, go to me office.” He didn’t look at her but his voice was firm.
           “Alfie, this isn’t necessary, please just leave it.” She urged and stepped toward him.
           “I run this place my own way.” He replied tersely, still not looking at her.
           “Then I’m staying right here.” She crossed her arms over her chest and didn’t budge. She hoped maybe her presence would deter him from doling out any punishments.
           It didn’t.
           “You two.” Alfie snapped his fingers to bring them front and center. The man who catcalled Louise and the man sold him out walked forward. They took their spots in front of their boss, facing judgment.
           Louise’s stomach dropped. “Alfie.” She called again.
           He ignored her quivering voice. There was no way he’d let the men get away with it and he wasn’t about to appear weak in front of his staff. Not even a gentle, concerned woman would make him appear weak.
           Alfie Solomons was a name to be feared.
           “I run this business with men.” The gangster began, his voice threatening to set off at any moment like a grenade. “I don’t employ boys…children, yeah, who can’t behave when they see a woman. Miss Barnes is under my employ and my protection. You lot are fucking disposable, right, you keep that in mind.” He hissed. In a flash, he grabbed the younger man and slammed his head into a support beam. Old blood already stained the wood and the beam creaked from the pressure. The man collapsed, knocked out cold.
           Louise flinched and turned her face away so she didn’t see anything. The sound of something cracking made her sick to her stomach.
           But Alfie wasn’t done yet. He turned to the other man who looked terrified. “And you, yeah, think you did good?” His breathing was off-kilter from the amount of force he’d used. “Think you’re a brave man? Fucking deserve a medal for doing me a service?”
           “I dunno, sir…”
           Alfie didn’t let him finish. He brought his cane down on the man’s head, a crack ringing out in the warehouse.
           The rest of the workers were deathly silent. None of them wanted to be next.
           “I don’t fucking like snitches!” He yelled so loudly, Louise was sure he would wake up the unconscious men. “Have we all learned a lesson? Yeah? Because I’ll fucking do this again to anyone who wants a go!” He clenched his fists, his face going red. “Anyone who so much as looks at Miss Barnes the wrong way again, I’ll fucking bash your thick skull in!” His throat strained as his hoarse shouts were almost powerful enough to make his men crumble. “Understood? Then stop fucking looking at me and get back to work!” He barked and turned to limp to his office. He passed Louise and didn’t slow to see her reaction. He had warned her, there wasn’t much else he could do. But he expected the worst.
           She followed him, trotting a few steps to catch up. “Alfie.” She attempted to get his attention.
           He stopped at the doorway and let her in. Pausing for a moment, he put his hat on the coat rack and slammed the door behind them. He grumbled something unintelligible under his breath and went to sit down. His leg hitched and he grimaced in pain before settling down. “Go on, tell me what a fucking evil man I am.” He undid the buttons of his vest and reached for his glasses. He still couldn’t look at her.
           “I didn’t say that.”
           “Were thinking, weren’t you?” It wasn’t a question.
           “I think you need to stop assuming things about me.” She approached the desk. “And to stop putting words in my mouth.”
           Alfie rolled his sleeves up. “I’ve got a meeting.” He muttered.
           Louise made a noise of disbelief. “You just knocked out one of your workers because of me and now you’re going to act as if I’m not here?” She demanded.
           His blue-green eyes briefly met her face. “Weren’t your fault, they were acting like fucking animals, weren’t they?”
           She huffed out a sigh and rested her hands on her hips. “So that was the only reason? You mentioned my name a few times.”
           “Fucking hip hurts.” He ignored her comment. The pain in his hips flared up after the beatings. “Go down the block, will ya? There’s a store that has a salve to help me sciatica, maybe a hot water bottle too.”
           “I'm not going anywhere until you’re honest with me and not swearing every sentence.”
           Not used to being challenged so much, Alfie rested his elbows on his desk and glared at his secretary. “Men who behave in such a way aren’t useful to me. You’re useful to me, I’ve told you that plenty of times. So they disrespect you, they're disrespecting me, yeah?” It was almost painful to keep his vulgar vocabulary off his tongue.
           “You are the most infuriatingly complex man I’ve ever had the misfortune of trying to read.” She replied with a frustrated grimace.
           He leaned back in his leather desk chair, his calloused fingers trailing up and down the chain of his glasses. His eyes narrowed, taking in the face she was making at him. “Keep it up sweetheart, I’d love to hear your analysis on a man like me.”
           Louise chewed on the inside of her cheek. “What is the salve called?” She asked tensely.
           “No, no, no.” He tutted and stood up to stand in front of her. “You don’t get to skitter off after you started this.” He stopped just inches from her. His feet set firmly apart, his weight shifted to his right to ease off his bad hip. “Go on, love, don’t spare me feelings either.” He goaded with an amused look.
           “Don’t you have a meeting?” She retorted, not backing away from him. But her body was trembling slightly.
           “I’m much more fucking interested in what you think of big bad, Alfie Solomons.”
           “You can only go five sentences without swearing.” She looked up at him. Her chin tilted to show him she wasn’t afraid of him. She’d seen the ugliness that people whispered about. The name of Solomons attributed to broken bones, dead bodies fished out of the river, wealth, and, intimidation.
           He chuckled and passed a hand over his beard. “Clever lass.”
           “You already knew that.”
           “Hm…what else then?”
           Louise studied him like she had earlier during the drive over to the bakery. “You like knowing people are afraid of you.” Her voice came out shakily at first. But his amused look coaxed her on, knowing she wouldn’t face punishment if she were honest. “You take pride in that.”
           “How you figure?”
           “You make yourself look bigger than you really are. I mean Daniel was much taller than you.” She remarked.
           He grunted disapprovingly. Of course, he didn’t mind if she made the observation. It bothered him much more when her husband did. But she wasn’t malicious about it.
           “But your form is very…intimidating.” A slight shock of shiver went down her spine when she inhaled his scent. She didn’t realize how familiar it had become. A woodsy scent mixed with the distillery’s distinct rum smell sticking to him. But there was a hint of deep vanilla too. She wondered if that was Evelyn’s doing, perhaps a scent she used in his home.
           Alfie could see her reaction and it stroked his ego a bit. “What else?”
           “You’re a man of very few words…but you’re not at the same time.” Louise tried to steady her heart. But it felt like a racehorse, ready to jump out of the gates. “I mean sometimes you hardly answer me at all. Other times you go off on this nonsensical rant. I don’t know what to make about that.” She admitted. Her eyes kept jumping around, over his shoulder, the open button on his shirt, his collar, the scar on his jaw, his eyes, and down to the floor.
           But his eyes didn’t leave her. “You think I’m a madman, then?”
           “No…you’re intelligent. Perhaps it’s your temper.” Her fingers touched together to keep her busy from other thoughts.          
           “Hm…me temper.”
           “I think you were in the war.”
           His eyebrow cocked. “Yeah?”
           “You sound like an officer when you yell at your men.” The sharp barks of threats echoed in her ears. A militaristic fashion the way he held himself tall while dishing out verbal abuse. “You’re also comfortable with blood and death.”
           “Anything else?” He didn’t explicitly tell her if he was in the war or not.
           Louise shook her head slightly. “I don’t know what I think anymore, Alfie. Your actions keep changing my mind. I do think you have the best of intentions.”
           That was the only thing that really surprised him. He’d already heard her other observations before. His temper was unhinged, he liked his stance of intimidation, he spoke like a lunatic, and he hadn’t yet abandoned his demeanor as a captain. But best intentions? Lots of people would disagree, most notably her husband.
           “But I think you take the worst execution to achieve those intentions.”
           Her elaborate wording didn’t go over his head. He nodded slowly. “You think so?” His tone was a little softer.
           “Do you think I’m wrong?” Her eyes finally stayed on his for more than a few seconds.
           His broad shoulders shrugged and he scratched at his cheek as if he couldn't be bothered. “Most say I’m ruthless and like to kill for fun.” He replied. His voice became detached.
           “I don’t think you do.” Her hand raised, her slender fingers trembling. “You didn’t kill Daniel for fun.”
           Alfie’s breath caught in his throat as she lightly traced the pads of her index and middle finger down the scar on his cheek. The tender contact was completely foreign to him. London whores could try to feign affection but it was nothing compared to the real thing. The calloused man felt like he was knocked down a few pegs just by her fingers touching him ever so slightly. He didn’t want her to see the internal turmoil and his buckling will. But something filled up the hollow space in his chest. She saw both sides of the coin. She saw the man that people whispered about and she saw the man who was fiercely protective.
           “You killed him because he hurt me.” Her fingers reached the end of his scar near his chin. “You hurt those men because they disrespected me. You hurt men because they threaten you or do you wrong. Maybe some of it’s business or personal vendettas.” She twisted her hand and smoothed her thumb over his cheek, passing over his scar. “But you do what you think is right. You thought that…disposing of Daniel would heal me.”
           Alfie was seconds away from completely melting under her touch and falling to his knees for her. Never had someone make him so vulnerable. It was terrifying. “You didn’t deserve what happened to you.” His voice was breathy and lost its edge. No one had ever brought that tone out of him.
           “You handle things the way you need to. It’s not my job to interfere.” She withdrew her hand to his dismay. “But I think you’re more than what you’ve done.” She was unaware of the power she held over him in that moment. “You don’t have to close yourself off when you’re with me. I don’t look at you the way other people do.”
           His blue eyes became hard. “Maybe you should.” He muttered.
           “What good would that do?”
           “Keep you safe.”
           “I feel safe. There’s no going back now is there?”
           “’Course there is.” He argued. “You don’t need to be…”
           She shook her head and touched his shoulder to cut him off. “Never mind that.” Her voice was gentle. “You’re late to your meeting now. I’ve kept you too long.” She stepped back and went to get her coat. “The salve’s name?” She asked again.
           Alfie had to restart his brain to answer her. He was completely and utterly a mess after she’d touched him and told him she saw him differently. The self-deprecating side of him kept spitting venom. She was too good for him. He was a monster who didn’t deserve her. He’d get her hurt or even killed. Weak. He was weak over her.
           She went to leave but paused. “What was your rank in the military?” She asked curiously.
           Alfie stepped back and leaned against the edge of his desk. “Captain.” He answered hoarsely.
           She smiled slightly and nodded. “I suppose that makes sense. I’ll return after your meeting, Captain Solomons.” She shut the door leaving him with his harried thoughts.
           Her parting words went straight to his gut, setting him on fire. “Fucking hell.” He groaned and tilted his head up to stare at the ceiling. Louise certainly wasn’t everything he assumed her to be and would most likely make him bend to her will even if she didn’t mean to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
         Weeks passed and Alfie’s relationship with Louise became more complex. He figured it would work itself out but it never did. They kept dancing around each other. Louise acted professionally and Alfie mirrored her behavior. But his gaze always lingered. He craved the little touches they shared throughout the day.
           She’d touch his arm during a greeting or parting ways for the night. If she took notes beside him in a meeting, her elbow would frequently brush up against his arm. It drove him absolutely insane.
           He felt an unbearable itch deep inside him. Frustration built up and he needed a release.
~~~~~~~~
           Not a patient man, Alfie decided to make a move. Even though as he walked to his office, he felt like a demon going to try and seduce a fair maiden. Muttering a prayer for salvation in Yiddish, then in Russian just in case.
           Louise looked up when the door creaked open. The brutal London summer heat made the office feel like a furnace. She sat behind his desk, organizing his papers even though Alfie could make a mess of it within minutes.
           He stuttered to a halt in the doorway. He was being tested. Surely.
           She was the definition of perfectly undone. Her hair was coming out of the up-do that had been pristine that morning. Stray pieces of rich auburn hair stuck to her forehead. Her face was flushed, red cheeks shining with a bit of sweat from the heat. She’d worn a short-sleeved blouse and gathered her skirt up to the top of her thighs. Concealed under his desk, she tried to cool off a bit with no relief.
           “This has got to be the hottest summer on record.” She complained and wiped her brow with the back of her hand. A dash of ink blotted across her forehead.
           Alfie chuckled and reached in his pocket for a handkerchief. He walked around the desk to hand it to her. “Got ink on ya face, silly girl.”
           “Oh…” She huffed and reached for her compact mirror to see the mark.
           His eyes caught a glance of her skirt pooled up on her lap. He caught a good view of her garter belt running down her thighs, attaching to her sheer stockings. Remembering he was enough of a fucking sinful creature already, he looked away.
           “Alfie, you need to get an electric fan in here.” She protested. “I don’t know why you don’t already have one.”
           “Right, fine.” He nodded. Usually, his secretary got whatever she wanted. It was unheard of in the bakery even if they were simple requests to improve her work experience. But he never argued with her on things like an electric fan or a new typewriter because the last one was so badly damaged. Ollie was incredulous because he frequently asked Alfie to replace the machine but the man refused.
           ‘Does is fucking type words? Yeah? Then it’s fucking fine, quit yer whining.’
           But the first time Louise asked, he made Ollie go out and get a new one that afternoon. Yet no one could tell Alfie he was treating her like a princess. He’d just tell them to fuck off. He knew he was and he didn’t care what other people thought. She deserved it, she’d get it.
           “I’ll get twenty fans if you fucking want.” He muttered as if she was bothering him. He would get her twenty though. A hundred even. Anything to keep her happy. He was a pushover for her. “It’ll feel like the Arctic in here tomorrow.” He nudged her out of his chair.
           She got up; only just noticing her skirt was still hiked up. Going even redder, Louise prayed her boss hadn’t noticed. “This was delivered too.” She reached over him to grab an envelope she’d carefully sorted into a pile. Her silky blouse shifted and blessed Alfie with a whiff of her jasmine scented perfume. She straightened up, setting the thick cream envelope in front of him.
           He opened it, anything to get his muddled mind off of what Louise would look like after a long fuck. Generally inappropriate thoughts a boss could have for his secretary. But after a week of longing like a parched man in a desert, he was desperate.
           His eyes scanned the invitation to some event for some cause. Nothing of interest. He tossed it on the recently neatened desk before turning to face Louise.
           “What was it?” She fixed the hem of her skirt that had caught on the top of her stockings.
           “Nothing, a waste of fucking time. Look, Lou,”
           She’d gotten comfortable with the nickname Alfie had baptized her with. It gave her a sense of belonging much like how he addressed Ollie. But it was deeper. When he said those three little letters, she weakened. Such a dangerous man doting such an affectionate name on her gave her chills.
           After many sleepless nights of reflection, Louise came to term with a few things that had been prodding at her for weeks. She was raised to be a polite, quiet, education, but submissive, wife of a wealthy, respected gentleman from a wealthy, respected family. She would then become the mother to a litter of look-alikes, hopefully, strong and healthy sons. But she’d grown up to dread her fate. The idea of being a piece of furniture in a manor made her sick. So when she was old enough, she sought after excitement, not only from men. She would ride any horse no matter how green it was, she liked driving cars much faster than intended, and she raided the liquor to get wasted with friends out in the pastures. But her sexual freedom was something she followed as well. Losing her virginity at seventeen to the handsome stable hand who broke her heart within a week.
           Then when Daniel came along, she saw even more of a thrill. She assumed his abuse was her punishment for acting up. But Alfie’s presence was calling out to her every night and every day and it wasn’t a punishment, it was a gift. He was exciting, albeit confusing at the start. He was dangerous but Louise was confident he would never lay a finger on her. Perhaps it was naïve because she once assumed the same about Daniel.
           But it was the thrill of standing in the eye of the hurricane. While chaos ensued around her, damage and destruction raging, she was cradled in safety. Alfie was a haven but he was so much more than a stiff, uptight man she was destined to marry. He was outwardly flawed and yet kept his beauty hidden. A true enigma compared to others.
           “Yes?” She asked quietly. His voice was tentative as if he were about to spring something important on her. It made her heart skip.
           But the moment wouldn’t last.
           The door flew open. “Sir…”
           Alfie went from zero to a hundred in milliseconds. His pent up sexual frustration was highly flammable and Ollie unfortunately and unknowingly lit it.
           “Fucking hell, you daft boy, what did I fucking say about knocking?” He demanded. “You think you own this fucking bakery, do you?”
           Ollie winced from the verbal abuse. “Sorry sir, it’s important.”
           “Important, yeah?” Alfie rose, grabbing his cane. “It’s so fucking important that it means you fucking can’t spare a few seconds to knock?”
           “Alfie.” Like a douse of cold water to a hot iron, Louise’s voice made his anger slowly fizzle down.
           It made Ollie grateful for her. It was pretty well known around the distillery that Louise had a strong effect over the boss. And although he would dish out punishments in her presence, he was more likely to second-guess his actions in front of her. Still, it didn’t make his workers any less scared of him. In fact, they usually tried to avoid even looking at Louise after what happened to the young man who made the mistake of testing Alfie’s loyalty for her. They didn’t risk setting their boss off. It was too easy to. If he thought they were even thinking about his precious secretary, he’d set off.
           “What?” Alfie snapped at the young man. “Fucking spit it out then if it’s such a pressing matter.”
           “This came.” Ollie held out a sheet of paper.
           He limped over to him and snatched the note out of his hand. “Fucking git, no fucking manners.” He muttered and read through the handwritten message.
           Louise watched his face turn from anger to deep consideration.
           “Yeah, right, fine.” He cleared his throat and tucked the paper into his pants pocket. “Look, you tell ‘em that’ll be fine.” He pointed at Ollie. “But they’re paying me more than that shit amount. Now fuck off.”
           Louise was lost. “Something wrong?” She sat down on the edge of his desk.
           “No.” He shook his head and went to grab the invitation she’d given to him earlier. “Need to make a trip to Birmingham.”
           “Birmingham? Why?”
           He stood beside her, eyes flicking over the gala details. “Tonight.” He didn’t answer her question.
           “Alfie, if something is wrong, please.” She reached up to touch his shoulder.
           He was in work mode but he still felt torn open, ready to bare his soul to her. Tell her anything she wanted. It was dangerous when his occupation dealt in secrecy.
           “You know you can trust me.”
           He exhaled slowly to keep his composure. “S’nothing to worry about, Lou. He assured her.
           She knew he was lying. He was a good liar in general, but he had trouble with lying to her with his usual ease. How could he when she had given him so much? Lying to her wasn’t business, it was personal.
           “Alfie…”
           “Should be back after the weekend.”
           “A full weekend?”
           “When I get back we’ll go to that event. S’in London.” He flicked the card back onto the table.
           “I thought you weren’t interested in it. You said it was a waste of time.” She was thrown off by his sudden change of attitude.
           “I’ll be nice, yeah? Get a night to have some fun.” He turned away from her.
           “What are you planning?”
           “Nothing, love, nothing t’all.”
~~~~~~~~~~
           Alfie returned from Birmingham in a fairly sour mood. He was in good standings with the Shelbys. Tommy didn’t trust him but after Louise, they seemed to be on even ground. But while in Birmingham, Alfie realized something that sent him reeling.
           He’d revealed enough to let Tommy know that Louise was his weakness. She was the only chink in his armor, but if hit it would be devastating to the gangster. In his line of work, weaknesses were unacceptable especially if they were public knowledge. It had been seen more than a few times. Tommy Shelby’s weakness was his kin, most important, his son.
           Alfie prided himself in not having his own Achilles heel like Tommy did. No wife, no family, no children. Nothing someone could use as leverage against him. No one could take something of his and make him dance like a puppet for them. If anything he was most protective over his business.
           Now he had Louise. And his first night in Birmingham was a startling moment for him. It was the first time he’d been that far away from her. He woke up in a cold sweat after a nightmare. Alfie Solomons rarely had nightmares. If he did, it was about France. And although he indulged in some of his violent tendencies there, he wasn’t immune to the haunting scars that the majority of men left with.
           But this night terror was different. He saw Louise’s hazel eyes. Terrified. She was bleeding but he didn’t see from where. She called out to him but he couldn’t reach her.
           It sent him into such a panic he bolted upright and immediately went for the phone. He rang Ollie’s house until his exhausted and irritated wife answered. Alfie demanded Ollie wake up a group of men to stand guard by Louise’s apartment. He considered calling Louise too but it was well past midnight and she would be asleep. So he sat up trying to get his breath back, slowly rocking with his hands clasped over his mouth. He made a mental list of all the men who would use his adoration for Louise against him. Tommy Shelby didn’t make the list even though he was really the only outsider who knew. The man was cutthroat but he knew what it was like to lose someone he loved. Besides, he seemed to like Louise and wouldn’t involve her in their complicated relationship. But the news could get out and there were more than enough men who had qualms with Alfie. They were twisted enough, angry enough, and greedy enough to easily snatch Louise up off the streets and hold her hostage. It was terrifying because he’d do anything to keep her safe. But it would be a dark day for anyone who even attempted to kidnap her. Alfie was damn sure he wouldn’t sleep until that person, his men, his family, and his future kin paid.
~~~~~~~~~~~
           Exhausted from only a few hours of sleep, Alfie dragged himself out of bed when the phone rang. Thinking it was Ollie reporting to him, he answered gruffly.
           “Yeah?”
           “Why are some of your men watching my apartment?”
           It was refreshing to hear her voice after being in such a frenzied panic over her well being all night. Alfie cleared his throat and sat down at the desk where the phone was sat. “How’d you know they’re my men?”
           “Because I recognize them from the bakery. And you’d be more concerned if I told you there were men outside of my apartment.” Louise replied.
           He grunted and ruffled his hair wearily. “S’protection ‘til I get back, yeah?”
           “Protection from what? I’m fine.”
           He sighed and rested his forearms on his knees, hunching forward. “How’s Cyril, how’s he doing?”
           “You can’t avoid my question, Alfie. You know Cyril is okay, I would call you if he wasn’t.” Her voice was firm. “Is something going on?”
           “No, Lou, nothing’s going on.” He stifled a yawn and pushed away recollections of his nightmare.
           Unconvinced, Louise still decided to change the subject. “I’m having Evelyn fix one of the beads on my dress. The thread was a little loose and I didn’t want it to unravel completely. I’ll be wearing it to the gala.”
           Alfie furrowed his brow. “You’ve already worn that one though.” He was absolutely smitten with Louise in that sapphire blue gown, but he was greedy. He wanted to see her in every color. Every hue. “I’ll buy you a new one, yeah?”
           “I doubt anyone will notice if I’ve worn it before. I want to make good use of it.”
           “How ‘bout red? Or gold?” He straightened up a bit, itching to see her again. Birmingham was depressing enough to him.
           Her soft laugh was like an angel’s song. “Honestly, Alfie.”
           “Think red’ll be nice. You go down to that dress store, right, and find something ya like. Make Ollie accompany you.”
           Louise was still concerned about his sudden paranoia over her protection. “I don’t think Ollie wants to go dress shopping with me.”
           “S’got a wife, he don’t care. Be back late Sunday night, yeah? See you Monday, you call me if you need anything else.”
           A sigh traveled over the telephone wires and Alfie’s stomach twisted up in desire. He closed his eyes tightly and scratched his cheek.
           “See you Monday.”
Tag list: @vehement-care​
Masterpost
Peaky Masterlist
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chicgeekgirl89 · 5 years ago
Text
This Path Alone
Fandom: NCIS
Characters: Ziva David, Tony DiNozzo, Tali David DiNozzo, Adam Eshel
A/N: Many thanks to @wanna-be-bold for being a champion during the writing process on this. I’m woefully out of date on my NCIS info, but I did my best. A look at what might have happened between the farmhouse bombing and the events of “Family First” based on what we now know from Season 17.
                                       XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
She’d been making tea in the kitchen in an attempt to help her fall asleep. It was futile, she knew; she didn’t sleep much anymore. When she closed her eyes all her doubts, fears, failures filled her mind until she snapped awake again. Not to mention that every little sound made her jump, made her go check on Tali, who slept in the room next to hers.
The phone had rung and she had been tempted to ignore it, especially when she saw whose name came up on the screen She was too tired for another argument tonight, too exhausted by the pain that came with every, single conversation. She wasn’t going back to Mossad, but they refused to leave her alone. Consult with us on this, just look at this one file, please could we have your input; the requests were endless. She’d left that world behind and still it gave her no respite.
But she wasn’t sleeping anyway so she picked up. “Adam, I don’t—“
“Ziva!” The fear in his voice immediately sharpened her senses and she subconsciously reached for a knife that lay on the counter. “Get out of the house. Get Tali and get out of there now!”
She was already moving toward Tali’s bedroom before he’d even finished speaking. She opened the closet and reached for the go bag she kept there. Old habits died hard, especially when you’d made lots of enemies. Adam was still talking as she moved. “I’m coming to get you.  Get to the road, don’t let anyone see—“
The sound of an explosion drowned out his last words. The world rocked and she went to her knees, the phone falling from her hands and smashing on the floor as Tali started screaming from her bed. “I’m here, I’m here,” Ziva said, crawling toward her, gathering her tightly in her arms. “It’s all right.”
“Ima!” Tali continued to wail as Ziva got to her feet, shouldering the go bag and heading for the door. 
Smoke was filling the hallway but she didn’t see any fire yet. The mortar must have hit the other side of the compound, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t more coming. She had to get them out of here fast.
Choking on the smoke, she headed for the door to the kitchen, but the handle was hot and she stepped back immediately. Barely able to breathe, eyes streaming she made it to the back door and wrenched it open, bursting out into the cool night air. “It’s all right Tali,” she continued to murmur as she staggered away from their home. “It’s all right. Ima is here. We’re all right.”
They were halfway across the yard when the second explosion hit. Ziva doubled over, shielding Tali from any debris that might come their way. It lasted all of ten seconds and then there was nothing but fire behind them and darkness ahead.
The moon hung like a sliver in the sky providing barely enough light for her to stumble over the uneven ground. She reached the road and huddled behind a fallen tree, still holding Tali close to her chest. Tali had stopped wailing but Ziva could feel her little body shaking. At least she thought it was Tali, it might have been her own nerves causing them both to shudder. “Ima?” Tali asked, her little voice croaky and scared.
“Shh,” Ziva soothed, brushing her hair out of her face. “It’s all right. I’m right here. You are safe. It’s just a dream. Just a dream my Tali.”
She had vowed that her daughter would never know fear or pain like this. And she had failed her. Completely and utterly failed the one person in the world who meant everything to her. How had this happened? Who had come after her like this? 
They’d been safe for so long. She’d been too intent on building a life of peace for her child; she must have missed something. She’d become too complacent, too soft. And now they would both pay the price for it.
After what felt like hours she heard the crunching sound of a car coming down the road and stiffened. Tali was nearly asleep in her arms, but her eyes popped open when Ziva shifted. “Ima?”
“It’s all right my love. We’re going for a little ride. Can you be quiet for me?”
Tali nodded, her eyes heavy with sleep. Ziva sent up a prayer that her daughter would remember none of this as she waited, tense, for some sign that the person in the car was Adam and not an enemy come to finish the job.
The car rolled to a stop several meters away, the lights going dark. She heard the door open and close, the sound of footsteps, and she reached deep into the go bag for the gun she’d hidden there. She hadn’t had time to grab any of the rest, so this would have to work for now.
“Ziva?” The whisper was familiar and Ziva bowed her head, taking a shuddering breath of bone deep relief.
“We are here,” she said, trying to keep her voice from shaking. She stood, shouldering the go bag and Tali once more as Adam joined them. “Oh thank God.” He pulled her into an embrace. “When the phone died I thought—“ He shook his head, eyes searching her. “Are you all right? Are either of you hurt?”
“We are fine. But Adam—“
“Come,” he interrupted her, looking over his shoulder. “We must leave here quickly.”
She buckled Tali into a carseat and then got in the front next to Adam. “Adam, what the hell is going on?” she asked in English as they drove.
Tali’s English was good, but she understood far more Hebrew and Ziva didn’t want her hearing anything that might terrify her more.
“Someone wants you dead,” he said grimly.
“Yes, thank you Adam that is very helpful, but since my child is now traumatized perhaps you could be a little more forthcoming with pertinent information,” she snapped.
Adam glanced in the rearview mirror and she felt her blood run cold. “Do you think someone is following us?” she asked.
“Not yet,” he said, eyes back on the road ahead. “But the press will be here in no time. If we’re seen fleeing the house someone will get suspicious.”
“Adam what are you talking about? Who? Who will get suspicious? Who did this?” Desperation colored her tone. This hadn’t been an accident. It was a targeted attack. An attack on her and her daughter and she wanted to know why right now.
He shook his head. “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? How could you not know? You’re the one who called and said to get out of the house.”
“I have eyes and ears everywhere Ziva. I got a last minute tip. I didn’t know if was real or not but…” he took a second to look at her, “apparently it was.”
She looked into the backseat, dread stealing her breath away. She had to get Tali somewhere safe. They needed somewhere to go and figure this out. “Who else knows?” she choked out.
Adam shook his head. “No one. By tomorrow morning the entire world will think you’re dead.”
Ziva felt ill. She put a hand to her head, her stomach churning in her gut. Everyone. Gibbs, Abby, McGee. She swallowed hard. Tony. They would all think she was gone. She’d been lying to them for a long time, but this felt so much worse. So incredibly permanent.
“That’s a good thing Ziva,” Adam said when she didn’t respond. “There’s safety in being dead. You and Tali can go anywhere, do anything without anyone knowing.”
“I was dead once before,” Ziva said. “I don’t have any desire to be again.”
“You’ve had a long night. We can sort everything out later. Right now we have to get you to a safehouse.” He reached over and squeezed her hand. “It will be all right.”
                                          XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
“Again, again!”
Ziva woke slowly, her body stiff, her mouth tasting like ash. “All right one more time.” Adam’s voice drifted through the closed door and Ziva could hear Tali squeal in delight over whatever he was doing. Good. If God still had a single thought to spare her, he would prevent her daughter from ever remembering last night.
She got out of bed and padded into the living room. Adam’s safe house had turned out to be a small apartment. It wasn’t a palace, but it was clean enough and there was no one around here wondering about the small “family” who’d moved in on the spur of the moment. The population was too transient to fret about the comings and goings of new neighbors.
“Ima!” Tali cried the second she spotted her, flinging herself into her mother’s arms. “Good morning!”
“Good morning my love,” Ziva crooned, stroking her hair, rocking her back and forth.
“Me and Adam are playin’,” she said, her little fingers automatically reaching for the necklace hanging around Ziva’s neck.
“Yes I heard.” She looked up at Adam who smiled. 
“She was up early. You needed rest after last night,” he said.
“Thank you.” She turned her attention back to Tali. “Did you have breakfast?”
She nodded. “I eated my fruit.”
“That’s my good girl.”
“Ima when we go home?”
It was like a knife straight through her heart. Tali was a smart little girl. She knew her mother didn’t make it a habit to drag her out of bed in the middle of the night and drive her to a new location. It was too much to hope she might not realize something was amiss. “I don’t know,” Ziva told her honestly. “But look.” She reached for the go bag and pulled out the stuffed dog, thanking god she’d thought to buy a second one when she’d realized what a favorite it was. “Look who came with us.”
“Kalev!” Tali squealed, latching onto the toy and hopping off her mother’s lap to play with him on the floor.
Ziva sat back on her heels and watched her for a moment. She was so young, so innocent. Everything Ziva had been before her life had been stolen from her. She would not let that happen. Not again.
“You’re on the news,” Adam said quietly. “They are reporting on the farmhouse. You need to decide what you want to do Ziva.” His eyes were full of deep concern. “This isn’t going away. If whoever did this finds out you are alive, they won’t stop. You will be in danger, Tali will be in danger—“
“You don’t think I know that?” Ziva said sharply, her eyes flitting to see if Tali had noticed. The child remained playing happily and Ziva lowered her voice, softening it a bit so as to not attract her attention. “I have lived this life a long time Adam. I am not interested in taking my daughter and running forever.”
“Then we will hide you. Somewhere this person will never look.”
Ziva snorted. “Are those to be my only two options? Run with my child in tow or hide like some coward while this person steals away the life I have worked so hard for?” She shook her head. “No. No I will not do that Tali or to myself.”
“I do not see another choice Ziva.”
She swallowed hard, blinking her eyes against the sting of tears. Because she did see another path. A third choice. One that would end on her terms, not those of some murderous stranger. One that would set her free to hunt her adversary down, and also keep Tali safe. She felt her heart quicken. If she did this, she would have to give up everything. “I will confront this person. I will put myself out in the open and have them come to me. And then I will make sure nothing like this ever happens again.”
“You would put Tali in danger that way?” he asked in alarm.
“Of course not!” Ziva said, her voice harsher than she intended.
“Ima?” Tali looked at her, eyes wide.
Ziva forced a smile and switched to Hebrew. “It’s all right my love. Why don’t you see if Kalev wants something for a snack?”
Tali nodded and wandered into the kitchen.
“Ziva, what are you planning to do?” Adam asked warily. It was as if he already sensed the bombshell that was coming.
Ziva struggled to make the words pass her lips, because once she said them, she couldn’t take them back. Once she did this terrible, horrible thing, there would be no changing her mind. “Take her to Tony.”
Adam’s eyes snapped to hers. “What?”
“He…he will take care of her. He can give her the life she deserves to have. He can keep her safe.”
“Ziva, what are you saying?”
“I am saying what we both know too well Adam!” she cried. “That sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the greater good. That sometimes love is not enough to keep people together. Tali’s safety is the most important thing. And Tony deserves to know. He will be a good father to her.” She looked away. “She will be happy with him.”
“Ziva she needs you.”
“What she needs is a home with someone who won’t get blown up in the middle of the night,” Ziva said, the words bitter on her tongue. “Take her to Tony. Make him believe…” she swallowed hard, forcing the words past her lips, “make him believe I am gone. That he is her only family now. He will do the right thing.”
“Ziva I won’t let you do this—“
“Good, because that is not your place. You can either help me or you can go. Those are your options. And you can thank God that they are better than the ones I have right now.”
He pressed his lips together and stared at her. “Of course I will help you.”
“Thank you.” She straightened her shoulders and took a breath, fixing a smile in place. “Now if you don’t mind, I will go spend some time with my daughter.”
She turned away so he wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes. And then she brushed them off so that Tali wouldn’t see them either. This was a time to be strong. She went to Tali in the kitchen. “Hello my love. What have you found in here?”
It took only a day to get everything arranged. One incredibly short day of precious time together spent playing and laughing despite the circumstances, despite the fact that Ziva’s heart ached with every word Tali said, every giggle, every cuddle they shared. She tried to hold onto all of it, to bottle it up in her heart so that she could keep it forever safe there.
When Adam returned the next morning she felt a familiar heaviness in her heart. One that she’d hoped she’d never feel again. “It’s time,” Adam said. “Orli is coming. I’ve made excuses but she isn’t going to buy them much longer.”
“What did you tell her?” Ziva asked, staring out the window. It was raining. She would remember that forever. The day she gave up her daughter it was raining outside, the sky grey and ominous.
“That I went to the house. That I slipped past the emergency personnel and pulled Tali from the rubble before the search crews could begin looking. That I was concerned about her safety so I hid her for a few days. That I never found a trace of you.”
Ziva swallowed past the lump in her throat. “She suspects nothing?”
“No.”
“Good. That is good.” She turned to face him. “Everything is arranged?”
“You will fly to D.C. this afternoon on a commercial flight. Orli has arranged a private flight for Tali, me, and herself. Once we have arrived Orli will take Tali to Tony. And I will come to you.”
Ziva nodded. “You will make sure Tali is safe before you come?”
“Of course.” He took her hands. “We will finish this Ziva. I promise.”
She pulled away. She didn’t want his comfort. “Yes. We will.”
It was time. Tali was looking at a book on the sofa and Ziva sat down next to her, pulling her into her arms. She buried her face in Tali’s curls, memorizing the smell of her shampoo, the way her little body felt cradled against her chest. Tali’s fingers came up to play with Ziva’s necklace. “Ima? We going home?” she asked the way she had every few hours since the bombing.
“No my darling. We are not going home today.” She reached for the go bag, her fingers seeking the picture frame she’d put there on the day she’d found out she was pregnant. “Look Tali. Do you know who these people are?”
“Ima!” she said immediately, pointing her little finger directly at Ziva’s face.
“Yes, very good. And who is this?” Ziva tapped Tony’s image.
“Abba,” Tali said.
“Yes,” Ziva said, her heart breaking. “Yes that is your Abba. Tali, you are going to go see Abba.”
“See Abba?” Tali echoed.
“That is right. You are going to go meet your Abba. And he is going to love you,” Ziva choked back a sob, “he is going to love you and take care of you.”
“Ima too?”
Ziva found she was at a loss for words and Tali turned to look at her face. “Ima? You sad?” 
Ziva nodded. “Yes, I am a little sad.”
“It okay Ima. No be sad.” Tali put her hands on Ziva’s cheeks. “No be sad.”
Ziva felt a tear trickle down her cheek. “I love you my Tali. You are my whole world my darling. Remember I love you.”
“Love you Ima,” Tali said, resting her head against Ziva’s chest.
Ziva looked up to find Adam watching, his face stricken. “How can I do this?” she asked helplessly. “How can I leave her?”
“You will do it because you love her,” Adam said. “You will do it because you are her mother and you are strong.”
Ziva cradled her one last time, looking into her face, trying as hard as she could to make the moment last for an eternity.
“Ziva,” Adam said quietly. 
“I know,” she said. “I know.”
She pulled Tali off her lap and set her on the couch. “Be a good girl for Adam. And for your Abba,” she said. “I will see you…I will see you soon.”
“Okay.”
Ziva handed her Kalev and her book then stood, picking up a bag containing a false passport and papers. “Goodbye my darling,” she whispered, pressing a final kiss to Tali’s forehead.
Tali was already absorbed in her book again and Ziva found herself profoundly grateful that she wasn’t crying or calling out for her. She was peaceful, the way she should be. The way every child deserved to be.
Ziva didn’t even look at Adam as she walked past, pausing only long enough to say, “Make sure Tony knows that I am…that I was sorry.”
Adam put a hand on her shoulder. “You have my word.”
Ziva put one foot in front of the other and walked out the door, closing it behind her without looking back. She took a breath, letting a sob escape her lips, just one. One cry to mourn for the life that she’d had and lost. One cry for the daughter who was no longer hers. 
Then she straightened, wiping a hand across her face. She would leave her heart with Tali and in its place would be a stone. One that would keep her alive until they saw each other again. It would make her strong until she got back all she’d lost.
She fingered the necklace around her neck. She would fight. She would win. And she would go home.
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