#microwave a canned vegetable (frozen if youre fancy)

[briarpatch-kids]

Its not that the boys are like... anti vegetarian as much as they were raised where dinner was "meat, starch, vegetable" or it wasn't a full meal. They've both come pretty far from "if there's not meat for the main its not satisfying" but they haven't reached the "meat for dinner once a week" level where I'd personally LIKE to be. They're at a "twice as many veggies as meat and vegetarian once a week" place, which where I live is a pretty big change.

[achubbydumpling]

lazy cooking part 1

I thought I'd share some of my go to recipes since I always get overwhelmed when I'm looking for something new to cook and the ingredients list is like 12 things and you need a pan, a pot and an oven and three hours to prep veggies and weigh everything to the gram

also idk if it's the adhd but when I'm hungry I want food now (or less than an hour from now) I usually cook enough for a few days but if you were so inclined you could definitely eat this for a single meal 👀 just saying..

One Pot Pasta with Tomato Sauce and Coconut Milk

Ingredients

pasta

strained tomatoes

coconut milk

onion

garlic

salt

Optional add-ins:

spices of your choice (I like paprika, chili flakes and cumin)

something acidic (e.g. lemon/lime juice, vinegar)

vegetables (I usually buy frozen, soup mix or broccoli, but use what you like best)

smoked tofu (so good!! add some of the water in the package to the sauce too)

Measurements

I measure in parts because that's easier for me to remember, so for this it'd be 1/3 pasta, 1/3 tomatoes, 1/3 coconut milk. In exact measurements for me that's usually 500g pasta, 500ml tomatoes, 400ml coconut milk + 100ml of water.

Instructions

Peel the amount of garlic and onion you want, fry them in oil if you're feeling fancy, but you can also just put them in the pot with the rest.

(I usually do one onion to three garlic cloves because it's not supposed to be garlic-y, just add some flavour)

Add pasta, strained tomatoes and coconut milk to the pot as well as salt, pepper, spices and lemon juice if you have it. Mix everything.

Put the covered pot on the stove on medium-low heat.

(I have an electric stove with the dial 1-5 and I put it on 2, basically low enough that it doesn't immediately burn if you walk away or don't stir constantly).

Stir occasionally until the pasta has soaked up a noticeable amount of the sauce. Then turn down the heat (I put it on 1) keep stirring occasionally until the pasta has your preferred consistency. Then leave the pot covered on the stove to cool for as long as you can take it. (If you're really hungry you could just eat it right after turning off the heat, but this tastes even better the longer you cook it or as leftovers.)

And done!

You can also make this in the microwave. Add everything to a microwave safe container, put a lid on it and pop it in the microwave for 2-3 times the time it says on the pasta container. Don't forget to stir occasionally. Take the pasta out once it's reached your desired texture.

I hope you enjoy this one pot pasta. It usually lasts me ~five meals (3x dinner, 2x lunch) if I add some frozen veggies, salad and/or tofu to the meal.

It won't win a beauty contest but it's tasty!

[izzosibiya]

Level Up Your Chocolate Game with These Tasty Hacks

Hey, chocolate lovers! Do you want to take your chocolate obsession to the next level? Do you want to impress your friends and family with your chocolate skills? Do you want to have more fun and creativity with your chocolate treats? If yes was your answer to any of these questions, then consider this post your treat.

We have compiled some of the coolest and easiest chocolate hacks you can try at home, with minimal ingredients and equipment. These hacks will make your chocolate experience more delicious, more exciting, and more Instagram-worthy. Let’s make some flavour!

Hack #1: Make Your Own Chocolate Shell

You know those fancy chocolate desserts that have a hard chocolate shell that cracks open when you tap it with a spoon? Well, you can make your own chocolate shell at home, with just two ingredients: chocolate and coconut oil. Here’s how:

Melt some chocolate chips or chopped chocolate in a microwave-safe bowl, stirring every 15 seconds, until smooth and glossy.

Add a tablespoon of coconut oil and stir well. This will make the chocolate thinner and easier to work with.

Pour the chocolate mixture over a bowl of ice cream, frozen yogurt, or any other frozen dessert of your choice. You can also add some toppings, like nuts, sprinkles, or fruits, before pouring the chocolate.

Wait for a few minutes until the chocolate hardens and forms a shell. Then, grab a spoon and crack it open. Enjoy!

Hack #2: Make Your Own Chocolate Mug Cake

You know those days when you crave for a warm and gooey chocolate cake, but you don’t have the time or the patience to bake one? Well, you can make your own chocolate mug cake in the microwave, with just a few ingredients and a mug. Here’s how:

In a large mug, whisk together a quarter cup of all-purpose flour, two tablespoons of cocoa powder, a quarter teaspoon of baking powder, and a pinch of salt.

Add a quarter cup of milk, two tablespoons of vegetable oil, and two tablespoons of sugar. Stir well until smooth and no lumps remain.

Stir in some chocolate chips or chopped chocolate for extra chocolatey goodness.

Microwave the mug for about a minute and a half, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Be careful not to overcook it, or it will become dry and rubbery.

Top it with some whipped cream, ice cream, or more chocolate, and dig in!

Hack #3: Make Your Own Chocolate Bark

You know those fancy chocolate bars that have all kinds of nuts, fruits, and candies on top? Well, you can make your own chocolate bark at home, with just chocolate and whatever toppings you like. Here’s how:

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or wax paper.

Melt some chocolate chips or chopped chocolate in a microwave-safe bowl, stirring every 15 seconds, until smooth and glossy.

Spread the chocolate evenly over the prepared baking sheet, using a spatula or a spoon. You can make it as thick or as thin as you like.

Sprinkle your favorite toppings over the chocolate, such as nuts, dried fruits, candies, pretzels, marshmallows, or anything else you can think of. Press them lightly into the chocolate to make sure they stick.

Refrigerate the chocolate bark until it sets, for about an hour or more. Then, break it into pieces and enjoy!

There you have it, three awesome chocolate hacks that you can try at home. Which one are you going to try first? Let us know in the comments below. And don’t forget to share this post with your fellow chocolate lovers. Happy chocolate day! 🍫

[xeno-beneviento]

Trying to eat healthier is an ass.

And don’t let the instabloggers lie to you with their avocado toast and other bs - it is very, very difficult to feed this meat mecha on a daily basis, especially when mental strength is already lacking.

It's complicated, it's boring, and if you have problems with the sensory perception of food textures, it's a real disaster. But, eating more diverse food helps mental and physical health. Like, it really does.

So I decided to share some easy life hacks I discovered for trying to eat healthier, while also being posessed by a five year old who doesn't want to eat fruits and vegetables.

1. Adding is easier than removing.

Let's say you have a bowl of sausage and rice. Basically good and yummy, yes. But. What can be added? Cut a little tomato on the side, or add zucchini caviar, or add a boiled egg, which you cut to look like a cute flower. Sprinkle on top with flax seeds, which are not felt at all, but are very good for the stomach. Add more stuff, and you’ll feel much better and more full.

2. Smoothies are a very easy way to eliminate the need for x fruits a day.

You don't have to be very fancy with it, too. Think in your head of fruits that are inexpensive in your country, cross out those that are tasteless/terrible in texture to you - and you're done. Knead a random amount of them relative to each other, plus a banana, plus milk - and drink while your brain is busy scrolling through the feed. You will not notice how you drink everything. Great for breakfast btw, espesially if you like me and can’t eat anything at the morning.

2.2. Try to add some dried fruits that have been soaked in water to your smoothies.

I know it sounds very strange. However, most fruits, when dried and soaked back in water, lose almost all of their texture. They become almost imperceptible in a smoothie, while still giving some of their benefits to you. stonks

3. Frozen soups are very simple and valid yum yum.

Yeah, the one you put in the microwave to defrost for 5 min. Just make sure you’ll find the one with no yucky stuff inside. The simpler the composition, the better. And also, the fact that you can just go and defrost a bowl of soup for yourself and eat in the moment, instead of agonizing in the kitchen for half a day preparing it and then realize the next day that you want something different is a clear plus.

will add more later ^^

[lowspoonsfood]

Baked fish has been one of my go tos for something that's fairly low spoons but feels like an actual meal. I get the individually packed prepared frozen filets, usually either salmon or tilapia. You can scale this too, it cooks about the same regardless of how much you do so you can either cook more for several people or just cook more for later.

Ingredients: 

Frozen fish filet - 1 per person

Rice, pasta, or other easy starch (I like rice and pasta because they can cook while the fish is in the oven)

Spices - I use a mix of herbs de provence blend and an italian season blend, but you can use whatever you like. Tajin (chili lime seasoning) is also great to throw on rice or pasta. 

Cooking spray

Salt

Butter or margarine

Frozen or canned vegetable - I like green beans but you can use whatever you have or skip the veg entirely. 

Other items:

Baking pan - best if you have one with sides, I use a sheet pan for cookies/etc with sides

Tinfoil or parchment paper for easy cleanup

Pot for cooking pasta or rice, rice cooker if you have it

Preheat the oven to 375F (about 190C).

If cooking rice, start it in the rice cooker or on the stove. Rice cooker is easiest and I highly recommend one if you don't have one, for one person 3/4th of cup of rice to 1 cup water is a good ratio, or 1.5 cups rice to 2 cups water for more. On the stove bring water to boil, add rice and turn down to low, then let it sit and simmer. Rice generally takes about 20-25 minutes, and will be done when all the water is absorbed and it's looking fluffy. 

Line the pan with foil or parchment paper, spray some cooking spray on it where the fish will go, open fish and place on pan. Spray fish with cooking spray, sprinkle salt and spices on top. Put in the oven, lighter fish will usually take about 12-15 minutes, salmon may take 15-20 minutes, but check your packaging directions just in case. 

If making pasta, start water now and cook according to package directions. 

About halfway through fish cooking time, put vegetables in the microwave to heat (frozen veg usually takes about 5-7 minutes depending on package directions). If you're doing canned veg you can either eat them straight out of the can (like me) or you can put them in a microwave safe container and heat up for a few minutes.

Fish will be done when just starting to brown around the edges and it should flake apart easily if you stick a fork in it to check. 

With any luck this should all be done around the same time. I like to put margarine and Tajin (chili lime seasoning) on my rice or pasta, then serve and enjoy!

A couple of alternatives:

For pasta, mix with either jarred alfredo sauce or salad dressing like ranch or creamy caesar. I like to do salmon with this and break it up and stir it into the pasta, it's very tasty and feels fancy. 

An alternative topping for lighter fish is to top with tomatoes, peppers, olives, or other veggies before baking. I like cherry tomatoes and green olives sliced in half with Tajin seasoning. 

[cyanomys]

Easy Meals: Vegan/Vegetarian Edition

Option 1: Do the above, but with mock meats.

You can do this with most frozen meat substitutes. Or even better, use tofu, which is extremely affordable. Just make sure to cut it into planks so it's easy to flip, instead of cubes. Season it well with soy sauce etc. Extra or super firm will work best. Treat it more like a delicate vegetable -- sear the outside but don't cook it to mush.

Option 2: Things On Potatoes

This is one of my favorites. It is very simple. You need:

A sizable potato of some kind for each person eating

Whatever veggies are in your fridge or freezer

Tofu or beans

Veggie broth or boullion

Cutting board, knife, and shallow pan.

Cube tofu or drain beans in can, chop fresh veg (not potatoes).

Brown all of that in a pan with some oil.

Put the potato(es) in the microwave for however long the internet says to microwave potatoes. Wash your cutting board and knife.

Combine about a half cup of veggie broth with a teaspoon of corn starch. Do not actually measure this, it does not matter. Just use a cup and a spoon to stir -- you can rinse these out and use them to eat with. Pour in as much to your veg as seems "enough" to make a gravy without drowning them. Let it come to a boil and thicken, turning glossy.

Split open the potatoes on plates with butter. Spoon the veg mixture on top. You know have an incredibly comforting meal. Enjoy.

Option 3: Veggie Mac & Cheeze

Make your box mac and cheeze (or cheese if you're vegetarian) into a meal. The ingredients:

Boxed mac & cheeze.

Frozen vegetables of your choice.

A can of beans. Or, a can of veggie chili if you're feeling spicy.

A pot suitable for boiling pasta and a colander.

Drain your beans if they are the plain kind.

Boil the pasta according to box directions. But, a couple minutes after you put the pasta in, also throw in the frozen veg too. This will change the cook time a bit but it's no big deal, just taste the pasta for doneness every minute or two once it comes back up to a boil. Drain the cooked pasta and veg.

Now back in the now-empty pasta pot, follow the box directions for the sauce. I add a little extra soy milk, nooch, slices of Chao, etc to dress it up and extend it a bit.

Once the sauce is ready, toss the pasta and veg in, and the beans. You now have veggie mac. Or if you used chili beans, chili mac.

Option 4: Sheet Pan Thirds Meal

This one may look complicated, but it's incredibly simple, and you only have to clean the cutting board.

Things you will need:

Hearty veggies (potatoes, carrots, beets)

Delicate veggies (squash, green beans, tomatoes, eggplant)

Tofu or canned beans

Sauces of your choosing for veg and/or tofu (butter, BBQ, etc)

Cutting board, knife, sheet pan, foil/parchment paper, tongs

Set oven to 375F. While you wait, chop hearty veggies and place on 1/3 of a COMPLETELY foil-covered sheet pan, seasoning with oil, salt, & seasonings of choice -- I like rosemary and red pepper.

Bake for 20 minutes. Chop delicate veggies while it's baking.

For beans: drain in the can, then still in the can toss them with oil, and season to taste; I like chili powder.

For tofu: cut into cubes, shake in a bag with corn starch, salt, and seasonings (e.g., nutritional yeast, garlic powder, poultry seasoning).

After the 20 minutes is up, add delicate veggies to the middle third of the pan.

If using tofu, add it to the final third as well. Bake for 20 minutes, flipping halfway through.

If using beans instead of tofu, bake delicate veggies for 10 minutes before adding beans to the final third for 10 more minutes. Clean your cutting board while you wait. This is your only dish to wash!

Plate with sauce (e.g., butter for veggies, BBQ sauce for tofu). Toss the foil from your now-clean sheet pan.

Footnote: I'm a massive fan of people learning to cook without recipes. You don't need to follow a recipe and be a fancy chef every time you need food. I PROMISE you, you are 100% capable of turning ingredients into a meal all by yourself. For most of human history, we have cooked whatever we had without following specific, complicated instructions. Nothing here is measured because it doesn't need to be -- it really doesn't matter. At all. All you need is a little guidance, which I hope I have helped to provide :)

i had to make a solution for this for myself, mostly because of depression, but it makes a nice How To for folks who are low on spoons or could use some help in the kitchen.

Fortunately i was a professional cook for over a decade. UNfortunately the first post i made explaining it was suuuuper long. Let's see if i can do better

So you select any protein that you can cook in a frying pan -- chicken breasts, ground beef, pork chops, sausages, steak, chicken thighs, whatever. You also select one or two types of veggie (mushrooms or tubers also work, i just did this with potatoes and carrots for dinner tonight).

[i like cooking for vegetarians, but this is how i cook for myself when i'm low on spoons - perhaps i'll do another post for meatless meals]

You'll also need some kind of oil, and a sauce or two of your choice in a bottle. All cooking gear is a large frying pan with lid (i prefer non-stick) a spatula, a cutting board, and a knife.

You cut the veggies into bite size pieces, cut up enough for two meals. One kind of veggie is fine, or you can do mix two or three

Put frying pan on medium heat with a little oil. Tubers or mushrooms or go in the pan a few minutes before the protein. 2 portions of the protein goes in the pan, about 5 minutes with lid (don't worry you can still get a good sear on both sides)

Now flip your protein if it's flip-able and add normal veggies, put the lid back on another five-ish minutes.

Take your protein out and put it with one portion of the veggies in a microwave safe container. That's going to be your lunch tomorrow. Put the other portion of protein on a plate to rest (you have to let a cooked protein sit a couple minutes before you serve it or when you cut into it all the juices run out and it goes dry - the liquids thicken as it cools, preventing this drying out if you let it rest, the goal is to serve it very warm but not hot hot)

While it's resting, pour some sauce from your bottle in the pan with the rest of the veggies and turn up the heat. A single sauce/bottle is fine, i like to get fancy and mix a couple. Two examples of personal favorite mixes are 1: bbq sauce and a hot sauce like sriracha 2: roughly equal parts low sodium soy sauce and worcestershire (makes something similar to a teriyaki sauce) A swallow of wine is almost always a great option if you want to add that to your sauce too, just add it to the pan before the other sauces so the alcohol has time to burn off.

...

Here is the important bit. While your veggies are finishing, wash your cutting board and chef knife. Then when you dump your veggies and sauce over your protein on the plate, while it is still too hot to eat, you wash your frying pan and spatula before you eat. Now the only dishes you have left to do are your plate and fork. Maybe a steak knife.

...

The whole thing takes about 35 minutes even with washing the dishes, and that includes your lunch for the next day- just pour a different sauce on and stick it in the microwave for a couple minutes (or five minutes back in the frying pan) and you have a full healthy lunch with a different flavor

You can use this technique every single meal and it yields hundreds of combinations, from pork and potatoes bbq, to salmon and broccoli teriyaki, to chicken and zucchini in a soy glaze.

It will keep you down to less than an hour of kitchen time per day total for both lunch and dinner including all dish clean up, uses the least dishes, the least effort, requires the least technique, and is, depending on what you pick out, very affordable

here are a couple more examples from this month; i didn’t take pictures of the salmon i did recently, but you get the idea

it's not super fancy, but it is easy, affordable, quick, and any flavors you want. Hope this helps some folks

Happy Cooking!

[weaselle]

cooking for people who have no idea what they are doing (or are just, like, real depressed)

Okay, I’m a professional cook, but also, I get depressed. This is the cooking I do when I’m depressed, because I need the simplest path to a whole meal.

This is not for vegetarians, because, while I wholeheartedly support people choosing vegetarianism, and also enjoy cooking for vegetarians, for me, the simplest path to a meal includes meat. Perhaps when I am less depressed I will work on options.

A lot of recipes focus on achieving food that is in some way special, using special techniques, or using a precise list of carefully measured high-end ingredients... and that’s not this, this is all the parts of cooking that are not those things.

First, shopping

Meats Starches Veggies Sauces Breakfast/Snack

For a whole week you’re going to want

3 kinds of meat, with five portions each. So, for example, five chicken breasts, 10 sausage links, and 2-3 pounds of ground beef. Other possibilities include pork chops, salmon, some kind of steak, whatever. 

You’re going to want up to 3 starches. Honestly I usually stick to just rice, but you can go with rice, potatoes, and pasta. If you want to use quinoa or polenta or something, thats on you.

And, you’re going to want about 3 types of vegetables, again, about 5 portions each -- and try to stay green. So personally, I usually get 5 medium zucchini, 2 medium heads of broccoli, and then either yellow squash or mushrooms. A bag of salad greens is also a good option, and I have an easy way to make a good salad, which I will do as a separate post.

Next pick something easy that works as either breakfast or a snack. For me this is a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and a bunch of bananas. Sometimes it’s nice to have an additional option here, like cereal or yogurt. 

Last, you’ll want 2-5 sauces in bottles. I would definitely recommend a low sodium soy sauce be one of them, and maybe a BBQ sauce for the other. I usually also include worcestershire and sriracha but go with whatever you want, teriyaki sauce, A1, whatever you know you’ll eat. Hell, you can use Italian style salad dressing as a cookable sauce if you really want.

Oh, and If you don’t already have some at the house, you’ll need pan lube: butter and/or some kind of cooking oil. 

Okay! we’re done shopping! Affordability isn’t the main focus here, but is undeniably important -- I live in a very expensive area, this shopping trip is going to feed me well for a week and costs me about $100 bucks. When I was living in Alabama, it probably would have cost me more like $70. You won’t need to get stuff like the sauce and rice and peanut butter every week, so you’re definitely looking at a monthly grocery bill of something like $300 depending on where you live, and that’s not too bad. 

Prep

hell no, I’m depressed, the only prep I’m doing is putting two packages of meat in the freezer and the rest of this stuff in the fridge. You CAN box or bag each portion of meat separately so you can really alternate what you eat -- me, I’m gonna eat chicken for two or three days, then beef for two or three days, etc.

and listen, don’t fuck around with microwave settings or running water on things to defrost them. If you package the meat all up separately, just move a portion from the freezer to the fridge each time you cook dinner. Or, if you do like me, move the whole package when you go to cook your last portion of the previous stuff, and just deal with the fact that it will probably still be a tiny bit frozen when you go to cook next.

Tip: When you cook dinner, you’re going to make enough for lunch. That just leaves you one small meal - I often smear peanut butter on a peice of bread and wrap it around a banana like a taco - fast, easy, practically no dishes, relatively healthy

____________________________________________________________

Cooking (this is going to take about 25 minutes)

You’re going to need

ONE frying pan, medium size w/ lid ONE boil pot, medium size w/ lid knife, a spatula and a cutting board.

If you want to be fancy, you can include a big spoon. Looks like this

No matter what the specific ingredients you’ve chosen, the basic format is going to be:

Start your starch heat pan, put meat in the pan flip meat and add veggies, cover with lid remove meat and add sauce finish starch put everything on a plate while it is still too hot to eat and you are standing in the kitchen anyway, wash the like, 4 dishes you’ve gotten dirty. eat.

Okay, before you even get everything else out, start your starch. For rice this means rinse the rice and put it in the cold water and set it on high heat, for pasta this means put your salted water on the stove on high heat. For potatoes, you can use my perfect mashed potatoes recipe (I’ll do that as a separate post) or, honestly, you can wait until you’re halfway done with the rest of everything and microwave the sucker for like 8 minutes. I would never do that in a restaurant, but trying to feed my lethargic depressed ass? Absolutely.

easy rice: Fill your smallest coffee cup with rice, put it in the pot. Rinse. Fill the same cup twice with water, add to rice. Bring to a boil, give a good stir, turn heat all the way down, put a lid on it for something like 15 more minutes.

Okay, now lube your pan. Butter, olive oil, whatever. You’re probably looking at an amount more than a teaspoon and less than a table spoon of whichever you use. Personally I try to use as little olive oil as possible, so I pour a large coin sized amount (a quarter in the U.S.) into the pan, ear off a piece of the paper towel I’m going to use as my napkin for the evening, fold it up tight, and sort of paint the oil around so a little goes a longer way.

Pan lubed? Great, turn your burner on. highest heat will work but is not ideal, medium heat will work better but is still not ideal. Halfway between the two is perfect for chicken, a little hotter for beef, a little lower for fish.

Now remove two portions of your chosen protein (that way you’ll have tomorrow’s lunch too). By the time you get the packaging open and stuff, your pan is probably hot. If it’s not, let it get hot. You don’t want the oil to start smoking (warning, butter will burn faster than oil) but if you shake a single drop of water off your finger into the pan, you want it to sizzle.

If your pan is hot, put your meat in. The more you do this, the more you’ll perfect the timing, but you’re going to cook it for ~about~ 7 minutes before you flip it, maybe a couple minutes longer if it’s chicken or pork, maybe a couple minutes less if it’s beef.

Now that your meat is in, prepare your veggie. Rinse it off, cut off any part of it you don’t want to eat, and then cut what’s left into pieces the size of a large bite. Don’t worry, it’s going to get a little smaller when you cook it. Take your time, you’ll probably finish in less time than the meat needs.

Time to flip your meat? Great. Do that, and then dump your chopped up veggie in the pan. It does not matter at all if the pieces are not touching the bottom of the pan -probably most of them will not be, a bunch will be on top of the meat, that’s fine.

Put a lid on it. Now add your pasta to the water, or put your potato in the microwave, or check your rice. If following my perfect mashed potato recipe, mash now.

Rice tip, checking: eat a grain, you want zero crunch. If it’s not done and there’s no liquid, add a splash of water and stir. It it’s done or close to done, but it is still very wet, give it a big stir and leave on the stove with the lid off for a couple minutes.

Your meat still has like, at least 4 minutes, so rinse off your cutting board and chef knife, get out a plate, table knife and fork.

 Meat done? Great. Take the meat out of the pan, leaving the veggies in. Add sauce to the pan. I like to also use a little wine, because it’s usually already in the house, if you have some and want to, pour a large swallow of wine in the pan with the sauce. I’ll often mix a couple sauces, like worcestershire and soy (makes something similar to teriyaki) or hot sauce and BBQ

Stir the sauce around with the veggies. This, called deglazing, is an important step for two reasons, 1: it will get up a lot of the flavorful stuff that has stuck to the pan and make your sauce better, and 2: it will make washing the pan much easier. Okay, put the lid back on for one to two minutes, maybe stir a couple times. Basically you want the sauce to stain the veggies.

Your starch should be done, turn off the burner, put a portion on your plate, and stick the rest in a ziplock or tupperware or something. Go ahead and throw the second portion of meat right in there with it. 

Turn off the stove and scoop the veggies onto the plate, and pour the sauce from the pan over everything.

Now, while it’s too hot to eat, and you’re standing in the kitchen anyway, wash the pot, pan, and spatula. It should be very easy because of the way you used the sauce and because nothing has had a chance to harden. This usually takes me about 2 full minutes.

__________________________________________________________

OKAY! it’s been 20-25 minutes, you’ve got dinner and tomorrow’s lunch (just add another cut up veggie, pour a different sauce on, and put it in the microwave for two or three minutes) AND there’s no danger of dishes piling up on you :) You can even add “washing last night’s plate and fork for use tonight” to where you rinse the cutting board to really keep it full circle.

It’s not gormet. It IS accessibly healthy, affordable, and easy.

If you are extra depressed, forget the starch and use more veggies; this cuts what little work there is by up to half

Using this format, you can have three good meals per day and only spend 30 total minutes a day in the kitchen — including clean up! (dishes piling up tends to exacerbate my depression and makes cooking your next meal harder)

And it’s easy to give yourself a wide variety, from soy glazed chicken, zucchini and rice one night; to steak, mushrooms and pasta the next; followed by BBQ pork chops, brocoli and potatoes... I suck at math but there’s probably a hundred options

Just to recap, because I know I was very detailed and this might seem overwhelming, once you read through the above to answer any questions you might have, simply

-Start your starch -lube & heat pan, put meat in the pan, about 7 minutes -flip meat, add veggies, lid, about 7 minutes -wash knife and cutting board -remove meat and add sauce to veggies, re-lid, 1-2 minutes -finish starch, refrigerate extra meat and starch  -put everything left on a plate -wash pot and pan -eat.

[transmalewife]

It's really interesting how america, in many ways, has more of a communal lifestyle than many other countries. But of course they go about it in the most capitalistic and alienating way possible.

Let me give you an example: laundry. In poland, virtually every household has a washing machine. not having one takes a flat from a normal rental to a student hovel.

I used to be absolutely horrified by americans just thinking its normal to not have them, and it's not just because I'm spoiled, but also since everyone has them here, there are barely any laundromats. But of course, if you think about it, it's much more efficient and environementally friendly to have a couple of big machines in the basement of an apartment building, or even in the street (as long as it's accessible to disabled people) than for everyone to have their own. The immoral thing here is making people pay extra for using them. Clothing is part of a healthy life according to the declaration of human rights.

Or food. Takeout, restaurants, and ready made food are a huge part of american culture. You can get a prepackaged meal accomodating virtually every dietary restriction in a store. In poland, most people cook at home. Restaurants, even fast food, were considered a fancy occasion, a rare indulgence until very recently. less than a decade ago the only full, premade meals you could get in grocery stores were frozen pizza, ramen, or bags of frozen, mixed raw vegetables with instructions to cook them and a seasoning packet. Or frozen pierogi, of course.

But takeout, and even microwave meals, are made by someone. cooking, especially cooking for others is a communal activity. It helps reduce food waste and allows those without the energy, skill or time to cook (like working parents, the elderly and the disabled) to stay fed and healthy. The problem is that when the only interaction you have is paying a store that had nothing to do with the production for the vaccum packed in plastic end product, you become entirely alienated from the process. From the infinite multitude of steps it takes to bring it into your stomach.

If you buy a whole bird, stuff it and bake it, you might care, or at least wonder how it was treated. If it was healthy and happy, if it was in pain when it died. Less so if it's just an unindentifiable bit of ground protein in the depths of your ready made lasagne. If you know you're eating the cheapest available garbage, you already see it as something bad, (don't want to get into the moralizing of unhealthy food rn, but I want to make it clear I don't think eating something that is "bad for you" is immoral in any way. the problem is the corporations benefitting from making that food cheaper and more available than healthier alternatives) and you accept, or at least ignore all the labor violations, destruction of our planet and cruelty that might have gone into making it.

And similarly, the cook is alienated from you. I have no problem with machines assisting in food production. There's not that much of a jump from using a stand mixer to knead bread dough at home, to bakeries doing the same on a larger scale, to factories automating more and more stages of the process. The problem is that the owner of a company that mass produces lasagne has absolutely no awareness of the people who actually eat it. They only care about profit, and that means using the cheapest ingredients and methods available, even when they are harmful. Someone who works in a soup kitchen also needs to do things as cheap as possible, but since they're seeing the people who eat it every day, they will care to make it as healthy as they can.

Mass produced food stops being food, as a human right, as a necessity and also a fundamental part of human culture, it becomes a product. Something that should at its very core be the definition of communal living, bringing thousands together to share the same meal, becomes a series of impersonal, mechanical actions on a coveyor belt. pouring flour into a vat, peeling one type of vegetable all day, screwing lids onto food you know is full of poison but can't do anything about it because you will starve if you lose the job is not cooking. it's torture. And it ends with possibly the most alienated and lonely form of eating, a plastic wrapped brick travelling from a microwave to a tv.

I don't think I have a conclusion here, other than automation is not the enemy, alienation is. Efficiency is not the enemy, as long as it doesn't overshadow humanity in the pursuit of profit.

[n-r-drafts]

These aren't really recipes — more methods — because uhhh I don't have them written down anywhere.

(added after I typed this all up: I went and checked OP's post, and the tags said "no red meat." I'm not sure if pork counts... if it does, well, perhaps this will help someone else who can eat pork? Otherwise, turkey-ham can be substituted for ham, and chicken or turkey can be substituted otherwise.)

Cornbread muffins with cubed ham and corn kernels added are pretty good, and they keep well frozen. Jiffy corn muffin mix works great, but you can also google for copycat recipes if you can't get that; it just means more measuring, though you can do that part ahead of time. You could throw in some cheese and/or chopped jalapeno, too, if you wanted. If you don't want to bother with muffins or don't have a muffin tin, you could also make it in a casserole dish and just cut it into squares. I think it would be good served with greens (collards or turnip greens) on the side, if you like those.

The "leftover frittata" is another classic:

Basically, cook/heat up/combine whatever ingredients you like in a skillet with seasonings and then pour a bunch of beaten eggs over them. Add cheese if you want. If your skillet can go in the oven, the whole thing can be baked until the eggs are cooked through, or you can just leave it on low heat on the stove, same idea, and maybe flip over some sections carefully. The idea is to have it turn into something you can serve in slices, more or less, but it doesn't have to be pretty. Whatever you put in shouldn't be very wet or oily, but otherwise just about anything goes; it's just up to your taste.

Possibilities for ingredients to throw in include...

Proteins: ground meat of choice (browned with garlic, salt, pepper), cubed rotisserie chicken, ham or cooked bacon ...or honestly you can leave it out because all that egg is plenty.

Vegetables: broccoli (steam in the microwave first), chopped bell pepper (frozen works), chopped onion, or spinach/other greens.

A starch: cubed potatoes (good use for leftover hash browns or french fries), perhaps squash? or if you don't put a starch in the frittata, just serve it with toast or something.

It's basically an un-fancy quiche without the crust.

One of my favorite and very simple dinners is:

pan-fried pork chops (seasoned with salt, pepper, garlic)

baked whole sweet potatoes (with butter), and

brussels sprouts (steam-in-bag, tossed with butter and some garlic+paprika-based seasoning salt after cooking).

It helps to have an instant-read thermometer for temping the pork chops, so you'll know when they've reached a safe temperature without overcooking them. We usually use pork loin, cut into thick steaks, since it's cheap and also boneless. All of it makes for really good leftovers. The sweet potatoes are basically hands-off once you wash them, so there's plenty of time to get the pork chops cooked, and then the brussels sprouts take hardly any time at all, so it's pretty easy even if there are multiple dishes. If you don't bother with a baking sheet and just use aluminum foil under the potatoes to catch the drips, then there's only one pan to wash, too.

If you wanna, you can also serve the pork chops with apple sauce or cranberry sauce, but I don't find it completely necessary.

edit: the sweet potatoes take MUCH longer than the specified 45 minutes total cook time, oops! So that's something you'd probably want to make ahead to have later. They DO keep very well - about a week in the fridge! - and you can cook a bunch at once.

White bean chili is also delicious:

ground turkey (or pork)

chopped onion

canned beans (whatever kind you like as long as it's not red or black, could be a few kinds for variety)

canned green chilies (the milder kind, can also add jalapeno or serrano if you like more spice)

canned corn

chicken broth

lime juice

spices (garlic, salt, white pepper [or black pepper if you only have that], cumin, paprika, cayenne I guess if you like spicy?, and some recipes I've seen call for cinnamon, which is interesting, but I've never tried it)

Sweat/saute the onion in oil until translucent; add ground turkey and spices, go until just cooked; add the canned stuff (beans, corn, chilies) and just enough chicken broth to let it simmer without burning; simmer ~30 minutes, stirring periodically, or longer if you want a more broken-down texture on the beans. Adjust seasoning to taste. You can mash some of the beans also to thicken it. Add lime juice to taste. If you are up to it, a garnish of fresh cilantro and green onion in each bowl is a good finishing touch.

Optional: You can serve it with tortilla chips if you want; maybe sour cream? avocado? pepper jack cheese? idk I'm not the boss of you.

Also works well for using up leftover chicken (shredded) if you don't want to bother with raw meat; just put the cooked chicken in toward the end instead.

If you have an Instant Pot, this dish could probably be adapted for it to reduce the simmering time.

Do any of u have decent recipes that are like 5 ingredients (not including spices) and take 45 mins or less to prepare i gotta stop eating sandwiches for dinner

[hungerpunch]

yesterday i saw a post on here about how ppl will call recipes good for low spoons days and then start chopping veggies and it made me laugh bc it's so relatable. just last month i posed the above q on twitter after subsisting off popcorn and granola bars for a few weeks. i thought i would share the responses i got on the off chance they could help one of u!

1. scramble an egg or two, throw leftover rice into the pan and mix around for a min, then season with salt and pepper. if you're feeling slightly fancy you can put some soy sauce but i eat it without on the regular and it's my favorite quick meal. if i don't have leftover rice i will use microwave packs.

2.

avocado, rice, spicy mayo and soy sauce (avocados are a veggie right??)

rice, tuna + mayo + canned corn

bread, hummus, tomato (just dip the bread in and eat cherry tomatoes, who said knives were needed)

3. Apples and peanut butter. Ready to eat rice/quinoa bags with roasted veggies and seasonings/sauce jar of your choice. Also microwave egg tacos: pour egg white carton into microwave safe bowl, mix in taco seasoning, nuke, pile into toasted tortillas with whatever add ons you like

4. My diet is very limited but I live on liquid vegetable soup (like the ones that look like almond milk containers) with crackers and hummus, or frozen rice and frozen peas microwaved with butter and nutritional yeast on top. And honestly Amy’s frozen meal with veggies in them.

5. Packet of Uncle Ben’s minute rice (where you just toss the bag in the microwave and get rice), and then rotisserie chicken shredded into it with butter, salt and pepper. Frozen vegetables on the side. Feels like comfort food to me.

6.

Eggs, rice, soy sauce

Tossing frozen broccoli in a box of Mac and cheese

Mutha fuckin frozen pot pies (these take longer to bake but you don’t have to think about prepping them and they have meat AND veg)

7. rice with kimchi/froz veggies and a fried egg

8. Frozen veggies in a package of ramen, with some cream cheese melted in.

9. a banana and scoops of peanut butter in a bowl. eat with spoon

10. i have very often put shredded cheese and canned black beans into a tortilla and microwaved when i can't even bring myself to griddle it on the stove. and eaten with salsa. maybe guac if i happen to have some storebought

[messengerhermes]

Hey Darlings, Y'all know those "hidden vegetable" recipes where adults get their kids to eat cauliflower, peas, carrots, etc by blending them up and hiding them in the sauce? You can do that for yourself too. If vegetables are hard to motivate yourself to eat, blend them into your meal! This is also way easier than doing the work of buying and cutting up fresh veggies to season and roast them to make them delicious, because you can pretty easily pop open a can of beans, puree it in a blender or chopper then mix it into your meal's existing sauce. You can do the same thing with frozen veggies. Just pop them in the microwave long enough to thaw them out, blend them and dump them in. Blend cannellini beans into your alfredo sauce Puree kale into your pesto Blend cauliflower into your mac n cheese Puree spinach into your ragu

Stop forcing yourself to eat vegetables the "grown up" way. There is no grown up way and your stomach can't tell if you ate that asparagus in a fancy sauce or chopped it up and fried it with eggs and sausage. The only right way to eat a vegetable is the way that you will actually enjoy eating it.

[juliandev0rak]

I feel like how someone does grocery shopping says a lot about who they are, might I request the LIs grocery shopping at Walmart? Like, what section they go to first, do they buy in bulk once a week or sparingly throughout, etc.? Thank youuu!

oooh i love this request, thank you @arcanecadenza 💗

I’m basing this off of Super Walmart which has basically any section or item you could imagine!

Asra

Asra is the type to go to the grocery store daily just to pick up a few things at a time

he thinks grocery shopping is fun and likes to take his time perusing the aisles to see what unique ingredients he can find

he goes to the produce section first and very carefully selects his fruits and vegetables for peak ripeness, and he loves to watch when the produce gets sprayed with water like a little rain shower 🥺

he also likes to walk through the home section to look for comfy throw pillows or scented candles

if you come along on the shopping trip he’ll turn it into an event™️ and will suggest getting tea or coffee first so you can enjoy your beverages while you wander the store

if he goes by himself he’ll probably surprise you with your favorite ice cream or flowers that made him think of you that he just had to add to the cart

Julian

Julian goes to the store more than once a week because he inevitably forgets something every time, even with a list

he’s the type to run to the store after work to grab one singular onion he needs for a recipe or a bag of his favorite chips on a whim

he goes to the frozen section first, he’s a busy man and having frozen vegetables or meals on hand is always helpful in a pinch

he generally tries to shop quickly, but if you go with him he’ll want to spend more time walking around and looking at all of the random items together

“MC, do I look good in this hat?” 

the hat is bright yellow and says ‘This is what AWESOME looks like’ on it, you can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or if he genuinely likes the hat, maybe it’s time to leave the clothing section

he likes to look in the bargain bins for old dvds, he’s the type to enjoy cheesy early 2000s movies and he still has a dvd collection despite having a Netflix subscription

Nadia

she’s a Whole Foods type of gal and probably wouldn’t shop at Walmart, but she would find it a fun experience if she did

she’s a planner, so her grocery shopping is efficient and she doesn’t get tempted by unnecessary purchases, unless you want something she hasn’t added to the list

Nadia would be impressed by the wide variety of items for sale, “They sell clothing? Bicycles? Books? Jewelry? What don’t they sell here!” 

she’ll want to look at the wine aisle, and would be surprised by the large selection there is to choose from and the sale prices

when she gets home she’ll be posting all over her social media about it because she assumes nobody has ever heard of the store, “Just went to a new store called Wal-Mart, excellent selection for wonderful prices- I highly recommend.” 

Nadia would be the type to give a grocery store a Yelp review

Muriel

he usually uses the online order option so he doesn’t have to go to the physical store to shop

if he has to shop in person he’ll stock up for an entire month at a time and buys staple products in bulk like flour or oats

he always visits the garden center so he can get supplies for his garden, and he prefers to grow his own produce instead of buying it when possible

he also likes to go through the camping supply aisles, he can pretty much always find something he needs whether it’s extra rope or a tarp to put over his chicken coop in the rainy season

the wide aisles and general cavernous interior of a Walmart means that he doesn’t have to be around too many crowds while he shops, so all in all he doesn’t mind the experience

and if you go shopping with him he’ll gladly follow you around the store if you want to look around 

Muriel always uses the self checkout even if he has a full cart

Portia

she walks into the store precisely once a week with a detailed list of items to purchase and she sticks to it, except for the occasional impulse buy

she heads to the bakery section first, not to buy any of the pre-made items but to get inspiration for her next baking project

”That frosting looks gross, I could do better!” 

Portia can often be found in the wine aisle buying cheap boxed wine, she has her favorite brands to splurge on but she also loves a deal 

if you come along, the grocery trip will turn into a game

hide and seek in the toy aisles? tag in the clothing section? Something about the fluorescent lights brings out Portia’s playful side

if she goes to the store by herself she’ll be a lot more efficient, but where's the fun in that?

Lucio

Lucio loves Walmart, the chaotic grocery store energy invigorates him and he loves to show up in fancy outfits (he strives to be the hottest person at the grocery store)

some of these outfits (a gold sparkly shirt under a white suit? neon green pants with a Gucci belt?) could land him in the “People of Walmart” hall of shame

he believes there's nothing you can’t find at Walmart, and he explores every section even if he came for just one item

he’s the type to get bored and go to a 24 hour store at three in the morning just to walk around and buy an energy drink or a frozen pizza for no reason

at the checkout he’s tempted by the “as seen on tv” items and might end up purchasing random items like an automatic light switch that activates when you clap, or duct tape that claims to be “military grade”

if you come along on the Walmart trip you’re going to have to convince him not to buy useless items and he’ll probably turn the “puppy dog look” on and try to persuade you, “But baby, we need that microwave egg cooker! I saw it on a commercial!” 

but at least he’ll hold your hand the whole time

[painted-crow]

Okay this is wildly off topic but I saw that you cook japanese food. Can you recommend some dishes to try or ways to get myself to like it? I want to like Japanese food so bad but I haven't liked anything I've tried aside from super basic stuff like sushi, teriyaki, and gyoza. I've even tried making curry and omurice at home and everyone except me loved it.

Japanese cooking resources

Ah, I have been called upon! Lemme dig some stuff out of my Bird nest for you :D

Disclaimer: I'm not Japanese or an expert on this. I'm just a cooking nerd who thinks Japan has the best food and experimented a whole bunch with Internet recipes and stuff from the Asian market.

Recipes

I learned a lot of what I know from these two foodie blogs:

Just One Cookbook

No Recipes

(the latter site does, in fact, contain recipes, but the blogger would encourage you to build the confidence to cook without them)

Since you're having trouble finding dishes you like, I suggest starting with udon: thick, chewy noodles often served in dashi broth, perhaps with fried toppings. You can prepare udon a bunch of different ways, that's just a classic one--but no matter how you make it, udon is a pretty easy sell. Tonkatsu is another dish that's hard to dislike, and makes a good topping for your udon if you want to make both at once!

Fun travel memoir

There is a fantastic book called Pretty Good Number One: An American Family Eats Tokyo.

It's a foodie travel memoir and it's exactly what it sounds like: this guy went to Tokyo for a month with his wife and daughter and they ate a bunch of food, his daughter made friends with half of the entire population of Tokyo, and he wrote about it. He's a really entertaining writer, and it has great descriptions of all kinds of Japanese food, so from there it's easy to go look up recipes.

Shopping

You'll want to go to an actual Asian market if you can find one locally. Use Google, they're often tucked into odd buildings.

Different Asian markets cater to different cultures' cuisines, so there might be one market with a full assortment of Indian MTR spice blends but no kombu or katsuobushi in sight. They usually have a variety though. If you can find an H Mart, you're golden (H Mart is Korean, but will have the stuff you need for Japanese food). Be willing to explore a bit! Last resort, go ahead and use Amazon, but trust me--the Asian markets are cheaper, and I much prefer supporting them to feeding Amazon.

Just One Cookbook also has a list of Japanese pantry essentials, which is really good, but it's also really completionist (I don't even have all of those premade sauces) and stretches the definition of "pantry" a bit, so it seems more intimidating than it should.

Here's my version.

Pantry essentials:

Good soy sauce. Just get something that says "traditionally brewed" and you're fine. If you spot dark soy sauce: it's smokier and less salty, very different, it can't replace normal soy sauce but you might grab it too.

Short grain "sushi" rice. Try not to overpay for it. If you're in an Asian market you're fine. If you're in the fancy organic section of Hy-Vee, you're gonna get ripped off.

Mirin. A seasoned cooking wine. Unfortunately, bad mirin is easy to find and is loaded with corn syrup. Try to find some that isn't; remember, ingredients are listed on the bottle proportionally. It's very worth paying $10 for a good bottle of mirin. I don't *think* you have to be 21 to buy it? Drinking it would probably be unappealing. Mirin is very important, and it's a versatile cooking ingredient; once you know what it does you might find yourself putting it in everything.

Sake. You do have to be of legal drinking age to buy this. Which kind you get for cooking isn't a super big deal, and you can get by with just mirin most of the time.

Kombu and katsuobushi. The former is a kind of seaweed/kelp (it may look dusty with white powder; that's natural MSG and it's a good thing). The latter is shaved dried smoked skipjack tuna and looks a bit like pencil shavings; you might see them labeled "bonito flakes." They're common ingredients for dashi (basic Japanese cooking stock), but you'll see katsuobushi used as a topping on lots of savory dishes. If you can't find these, try looking for dashi powder or tea bag type dealies.

Toasted sesame oil. Not hard to find.

Rice vinegar. Same.

Panko bread crumbs. These are special, lofty, crispy breadcrumbs. They're different because of SCIENCE and are what happens when you electrocute bread dough. I'm not joking.

Cornstarch/potato starch. I slightly prefer potato starch (good texture), but they're not that different.

Nori. These are those pressed algae sheets you use to wrap sushi, but they're used for other stuff too, like onigiri, or shredded as a topping.

Noodles. Obviously, if you want to make udon, you need to buy some. You can easily find dried udon, but if you spot frozen or even fresh udon noodle packs, grab them.

If you can find an Asian market that stocks all this, you should be able to get the whole list for around $50. Asian markets tend not to be expensive, which is yet another good reason to learn to cook Japanese food. (Other reasons: healthy, tasty, easy to cook in a small kitchen...)

Of course, you also don't need to get the whole list at once! It's not cheating to just get what you need for a particular dish.

Fun stuff you can find at Asian markets

With the basics out of the way, here are additional tasty things you might want to look for:

Furikake. Not strictly necessary, but I like it. It's a topping/seasoning blend you can mix into your rice, and it comes in lots of flavors, some fishier than others. Start with a nori or vegetable flavor if you're uncertain. Tamago flavor = egg.

Ramune. If you've never had marble soda before, don't deny yourself the adventure of trying to figure out how to get the bottle open. Lots of flavors.

Good instant ramen. Nongshim's Shin Ramyun is what I usually get, and even Walmart sells it. You'll never buy Maruchan again.

Candy. So, I don't know who's in charge of Japanese fruit flavored candy, but it actually tastes like fruit, which is wild.

Yuzu and/or sudachi juice. If you can find these, grab 'em. They're citrus juices. Yuzu is a bit like lemon but less strongly sour and more... clean? Crisp? while sudachi is a bit like lime but more green and complex. I'm describing these poorly. You might also be able to find candy or drinks with these flavors.

Sugary drinks with nata de coco in them. Nata de coco is a firm jelly-like dessert type... thing. It's made from coconuts and it's got a unique jelly/crunchy texture and is odd but good. You might be able to find nata de coco on its own, but I'll warn you: the kind you get packed in jars will be Very Sugary.

Tapioca pearls. If you like bubble tea, here's the place to get your boba.

Umeboshi plums. These sour/salty pickled plums are a tasty ramen topping.

Ice cream. Those square melon popsicles are delicious, but get them home quickly, their texture is very temperature sensitive! And if you spot individually wrapped ice cream cones, grab one.

Euro cakes. These look kinda like round Twinkies, but Twinkies only dream of being this tasty. I like the pandan flavor best. Don't be put off by the green color.

Soft tofu. So good 🥰 and weirdly hard to find in supermarkets. It's got a texture like custard, and apart from its fairly neutral, fresh flavor, will easily pick up any flavors you put on it. An excellent addition to udon soup; add it last, the tofu is fragile (and doesn't actually require cooking). Silken tofu sometimes comes in shelf stable packages. My experience with those has been fine, but the general consensus is that the tofu you get from the fridge section is better.

Frozen pork buns. They might be labeled "siopao" or "bao" (Chinese names) or "nikuman" (Japanese name). Lil bread buns with bbq pork or other fillings. You steam them in the microwave and they're delicious.

I'd recommend having fun getting a few of the things off this list, rather than being a completionist about the first one, if you find yourself choosing between the two. That said, make sure you get the stuff you need for the thing you want to make!

Okay, now I want a pork bun. I wonder if my brother's eaten them all yet...

[vegetalass]

RDR2 Boys Cooking + Eating Habits

Arthur 

Somebody else on here wrote some headcanons about Arthur not being able to cook and just eating microwave food all the time and I just have to say…. That’s canon 

Lowkey though he’s trying his best to get better at cooking

Probably the only thing he knows how to make is pasta 

He adds a bunch of random frozen veggies to water as the noodles are cooking 

And then smothers the whole thing in butter and calls it a meal

Or he puts marinara sauce on it straight from the jar 

And yes, that means it’s cold

He’s also getting better at friend rice, too

But he’s really bad at actually making rice 

If he doesn’t add too much water… He burns the bottom 

Charles makes a mental note to buy him a rice cooker for his birthday 

Makes his own popsicles out of random fruit juices and eats them 24/7 

Thinks this qualifies him as a chef

Eats pickles and olives straight out of the jar with a fork 

And sauerkraut too probably 

Just goes over to john’s house on his pizza nights 

Puts ketchup on eggs

John 

Pizza dad 

Probably orders pizza, salad, and a 64oz soda twice a week 

Everything else is just Dino chicken nuggets, Eggos, hot dogs, quesadillas, and frozen peas and corn 

Food you feed to little kids, basically 

Mostly because he does have a little kid 

But also because it’s easy and takes minimal effort and he doesn’t mind eating it, too

Abigail would be mad but she has no room to talk

The most you’ll see him actually make is buttered pasta (like Arthur) or sometimes beans and rice 

Abigail bought them a rice cooker a while ago so that’s one thing he doesn’t have to worry about 

Probably always has some type of dessert laying around 

Doesn’t mean it’s good, but it’s there 

Abigail buys a bunch of those gross, low calorie ice creams and John ends up having to finishing them 

Family lunches consist of a bologna sandwich on wheat bread with American cheese and mayo, a piece of fruit, a bag of chips or crackers, a go-gurt, and some gummies 

And yes he makes them for himself and Abigail too 

They’re all eating good at the Marston household 

(Not really)

Charles 

Everything he cooks are things that can’t be made in single batches 

Lots of healthy soups, chilis, stew, etc…

Most of the time, he makes too much of whatever it is so he always has leftovers 

Everyone is jealous when he brings them for lunch

Probably finds all of his recipes in the newspaper or random magazines he reads while at the grocery store checkout line

Everyone is like, “Charles… Why are you reading Women’s Fitness?” 

And he’s like, “Check out this salad recipe, though”

Puts hot sauce on everything 

Salad, macaroni and cheese, hamburgers... You name it 

And he’s the king of snacking

All of his snacks are healthy, though

Raw veggies and fruit and quinoa chips from Whole Foods or something like that

Nobody likes this

He’s one of those people who brings hard boiled eggs everywhere as a “snack,” too

And yea, he puts hot sauce on those, also 

He really likes those weird protein bars that are hard to bite into and taste like chalk 

The flavors are either normal stuff like white chocolate macadamia or Protein Power Punch with whey, chia and seaweed 

There’s no in between 

He’s also a charcuterie board legend

Hosea is jealous of this talent

Micah

Spends all his money on take out 

He’s totally one of those weird people who’s entire trash can is just filled with take out boxes and cans of coke or beer

Constantly eating fast food 

You ask him what he bought at the supermarket and he’s like “Pub mix and bud light” 

SIR 

Everything that he does manage to cook only involve one step of preparation 

Unseasoned, fried meats and boiled veggies 

Sometimes scrambled eggs and bacon

If he’s feeling fancy, he will make plain sandwiches

This is very rare, though

Can and will complain about anyone’s cooking

Even if it’s good and he he likes it

There are certain people he can’t do this to, though, or they won’t let him eat

The only person’s cooking he doesn’t complain about is Dutch’s

Constantly snacking from an entire party sized bag of chips

And yes, he eats straight out of the bag and wipes his fingers on his jeans

His oven is dirty

Hosea 

A meal for him is probably a handful of almonds and an applesauce or yogurt cup 

He is constantly making a bunch of those Tik Tok recipes where you just put a bunch of random stuff into your crock pot and add ranch seasoning and cream cheese

*insert all of those memes about mom pulling out the crock pot*

If you complain, he says “Well, you’re always welcome to cook, too”

Wears an apron when he cooks

Constantly eating plain toast with butter

And bananas 

And cheese sticks

Thinks that this makes him “healthy” 

Definitely likes to snack on those cocktail fruit cups and canned mandarin oranges

His entire freezer is just full of ice cream 

It’s all weird flavors like Cherry Garcia, chocolate banana, and pistachio though

Everyone hates him for this

Raisins are his late night treat 

Has a secret stash of candy no one can find 

That’s okay though because it’s mostly Werthers Originals

And Chiclets gum

He picks out all the orange ones, though

Dutch

Tries to re-plate takeout so he can call it his own

Everybody sees through this but they stopped commenting on it like four Thanksgivings ago 

Buys a bunch of those meals from Costco that all you need to do is heat up in the oven

He does like fast food but only from the less popular places

Carl’s Jr., Wendy’s, BK, Arby’s, etc. 

A&W, too, because he’s old and weird

He can totally cook, he just never does 

It’s just normal stuff like spaghetti and meatballs or chicken and rice, though

Tuna fish casserole

He over-seasons everything, though

Mostly because he’s trying to prove that he’s a good cook 

Eats dessert twice, every night 

Once right after dinner, and then later when he’s feeling like a treat 

Will eat in bed

Uses a little bib and tray and everything 

Likes pumpkin and sunflower seeds

Would eat hot wings with gloves on 

He’s the one who taught Arthur to put ketchup on eggs 

Kieran 

The second I realized that Kieran would probably be white trash, my life changed 

Hamburger Helper meals for LIFE

That one cheeseburger pasta? Kieran probably eats that three times a week 

He 100% makes the ketchup-butter sketti from Honey Boo Boo 

“It’s been a while since I done had roadkill in my belly”

His favorite dessert is ambrosia salad or that weird yogurt/Cool Whip covered jello that was popular in the 2000s

Probably has a TV dinner every once in a while, too

Instant mashed potatoes and minute rice type of guy 

Also gives me big microwave cheddar broccoli vibes 

I’ve said this before, but his house is probably stocked with all kinds of on-brand goodies 

Probably always has some kind of chip and cookie around 

Eats dinner in front of the TV

Dips french fries in mayonnaise

All of this said though, he isn’t a picky eater and will eat whatever is put on his plate 

That’s why he’s great to take to restaurants, because he never complains

Honestly it’s just so sweet to think of him making big crockpot meals to share with ppl even if his cooking is a lil.... strange 

Javier

Thinks that the hot dog combo from Costco is a suitable dinner 

Also gets hot food from the grocery store for dinner a lot

Literally will just heat up a can of something and eat it plain 

Beans, chili, soup… 

Doesn’t doctor it up or change it at all 

He’s happy to share but no one wants any

Chips and dip, 24/7

And it’s just Tostitos Hint of Lime chips and hummus

Probably puts hummus on everything, too 

Corn chips, tortilla chips, tortillas, vegetables, sandwiches, etc. 

Will put anything in a tortilla and call it a sandwich 

Eats leftovers cold 

The rest of the gang thinks this is a sin

Makes stir fry with whatever is laying around the house

It’s a little gross because he will try to add leftover beans

Refuses to eat fast food

The only exception he’ll make is for french fries and ice cream

Walks around and eats at the same time

Isn’t above asking the other boys to share with him 

Despite the fact that this only happens if what they’re eating is good

Which is almost never

Sean

Sean can’t cook. That’s the end of it

The most he can make is that weird microwave Mac and cheese where the pasta is boiled in the mug?? 

He never does it tho and just sticks with the normal, frozen Mac and Cheese you can microwave instead

Uses his microwaving ability to make mug cakes

And microwave scrambled eggs

Burns his popcorn every single time

He’s probably set of the smoke detector or fire alarm multiple times

He’s Irish though so of course he’s addicted to potatoes and cabbage

And since he’s from the UK, he likes stuff like beans on toast and marmite

He’s a little nasty too so catch him eating bologna sandwiches on wonder bread

Not even the Marstons are that bad

When he does get takeout, he overspends trying to use a delivery app 

He’s like, “And do I need the extra side of special sauce for $5…? Yes.” 

Cooks like this 

[beanie-beebo-writes]

Call for Action

Series Summary: You finally get your dream job, but it comes with a cost.

Warnings: Description of panic attack

Masterlist

Note: Y/HT means your hometown.

Chapter 3

You met Jensen at a modestly, upbeat restaurant around 10pm, the time you had both agreed on based on the day's schedule. The place was somewhere you probably would have found yourself, if you ever went out to eat. The hues of green, purple, and blue splashed on the walls (mostly from the lighting) were playfully welcoming.

You had dressed yourself up in one of your favorite dress tops and a nice pair of pants, and it seemed Jensen had thought the same on what to wear. He wore a white dress shirt and black pants.

"You look nice." He said, meeting you at the table you situated yourself at.

"So do you." You said, smiling.

There was what most would consider an awkward silence between you. Only, you felt it was electric, lively. He ushered for you to sit down before he himself took a seat in the booth seat across from you.

"So," He began.

"So.." You echoed, hoping he wouldn't see you blush.

"What do you think of the place?" He asked, clearly trying to make a conversation.

"I really like it! The colors really pop out at you. It isn't too much like a fancy restaurant or like a club." You said.

"I came here all the time once I found out it existed. The one place in Vancouver where you can feel like you blend in, even if you're someone like me." He said.

"You get recognized a lot?" You asked.

"Enough; but it doesn't bother me much." He said.

A tall blond waitress walked over to where you two sat, holding a small notepad.

"Ah, Jensen. Nice to see you again." She said.

"Hey Darla, lovely to see you too." He said with a smile.

"What can I start you guys off with?" She asked.

Jensen ushered a hand over to you to order. What a gentleman.

"Oh. Uh, I'll have a cherry seltzer if you have one." You said.

"Mhm, no problem hun. And how about you Jen?" Darla asked.

"Eh, why not? I guess I'll take a glass of red wine. Live a little." He said.

"What's life without a party?" Darla asked. "I'll be back with your drinks momentarily."

"Wow, guess you are a regular then, huh?" You said.

"Yep. Darla's a real sweetheart, hard not to want to come back here." Jensen said.

Moments later, you both received your drinks and ordered dinner. Jensen ordered a chicken quesadilla while you ordered a plate of nachos with a side of fries. You giggled despite only taking a sip of your seltzer.

"It's almost like we're opposites." You said. "Me and my junk food, while you eat a full meal."

Jensen smiled. "Hey nothing wrong with that, gotta enjoy yourself when you eat sometimes."

You laughed again. "Not when it's a lifestyle."

"Well, whatever works. Right?" He said.

"Yeah." You said, smile never leaving your face.

Suddenly, you felt your chest begin to ache. The way it always happened right before a bad panic attack. Oh come on! Not now. Seriously?! You wanted to curl up and die right there. Hell, you hoped.

"Hey, you in there?" Jensen asked.

"Huh? Oh yeah, sorry, zoned out there for a minute. What were you saying?" You asked.

"I was asking if you were from around here." Jensen asked.

Quick, make it quick. "Uh, no. I'm actually from (y/ht). Can you excuse me for a few minutes? I have to go to the bathroom." You said.

"Yeah, no problem." Jensen said.

You tried not to make it too obvious you were beginning to freak out as you beelined for the bathroom. Your breathing by then had become erratic, and your thoughts were so loud. Everything was so loud.

You pulled at your hair and refrained from letting out a loud scream as you felt your feelings completely overtake you. The hyperventilating turned into messy sobs, which you tried to quiet in the sweater you brought along.

"I can't do this anymore, I just can't." You thought quietly as you hugged yourself in the larger stall.

It was all too much. All you could think about was that same line over and over again, almost completely forgetting about Jensen until you heard a knock on the bathroom door.

"(Y/N)? Hey, everything okay in there? It's been a while." Jensen said, muffled by the thick door.

Oh god, you had left Jensen all alone out there the whole time. Yeah, what a date. You heard another knock on the door.

"Not trying to scare you or anything, but I'm gonna have to go get someone if you don't come out in a few." He said.

Just what you needed, more attention. You feared that more than anything right now. Without much thought, you went to the door and opened it, still a complete mess from however long you had been hiding in the bathroom. Jensen's face instantly dropped and he cautiously placed his hands on your shoulders.

"You were starting to- oh my god are you okay?" He asked quietly.

You shook your head knowing your voice would betray you.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Panic attack." You squeaked.

"Okay, breathe with me. In.."

"I can't. Everyone will see me."

"Yes you can. Here, we'll move outside."

"The food-"

"I'll grab some doggy bags for later after you're calmer. Darla will hold everything for us."

If it weren't for your anxiety, you would have professed your growing love right then and there. Jensen truly was a fine gem, one you knew you were falling hard for. You could practically see the hearts circling your head.

You nodded your head in agreement as words were still beyond your grasp. Jensen guided you out through the patio and sat you down at the curb. You were glad it was dark outside, so any passerbys couldn't really make out the situation if they tried.

"Alright, now is it okay if I hug you? I know it's hard to see out here, and I want you to be in sync with my breathing." Jensen said.

You nodded but registered the rest of his sentence before whispering a "yes".

Jensen gently wrapped his arms around you; he smelled faintly of a husky cologne which was thankfully not overpowering.

"Try to match your breathing to mine. I know it's hard, but you can do it. I know you can." He said.

If you could laugh at that remark, you would. Usually you were the only one giving yourself these sort of pep talks, but as far as you reached, you couldn't find it in you this time.

You used Jensen's presence to ground you as you shakily began to try and match his breathing. At first, taking a deep breath felt like breathing through a straw. But as time went on, you slowly began to feel your muscles relax.

"There you go, keep going." Jensen said.

It was almost as if his touch was magic. Just as he was starting to rub your back, you felt your anxiety ease away. If anything, it was probably the most relaxed you had felt in quite a long time. If it weren't for the awkwardness creeping in, you would have lingered into the hug for as long as you could.

"You good?" Jensen asked, looking into your eyes.

Your heart skipped a beat, but you nodded and instantly regretted it, feeling slightly dizzy.

"Do these panic attacks happen often?" He asked.

You looked down, ashamed to have lied to him in the first place.

"Yeah, actually. I get them almost all the time." You admitted.

"Was that what that was earlier today?" He asked.

"Yeah, sadly." You said. "It was just a bit more under control than this one."

"It didn't seem like it." Jensen said. "I'll tell you what, how about we finish this date at my place?"

"Are you sure? We could always just plan another one." You said.

“You need the privacy; it’s okay, really. You want to come grab the food with me? Or are you okay out here?” He asked.

“I have to grab some of my things at the table anyway, I’ll come in.” You replied.

You swore you would never find a man as good as Jensen was to you. And if you could, you were going to keep him.

-------------------------

“So this is my apartment,” Jensen said, allowing you to walk in before him. “I know it isn’t much, but make yourself at home.”

You snorted. “Better than my place right now. I swear there’s a load of food containers lying around my living room from last night.”

Jensen raised an eyebrow. “Looks like someone likes to party.”

“If you consider a Netflix binge a party, I’m down.” You said.

It was Jensen’s turn to laugh. “Come on, let’s eat this food before we need to use the microwave.” He said.

Thankfully the food, or what was left of it, was still warm when you opened the styrofoam containers. You took a long whiff as your stomach growled on cue.

“You’re still hungry?” Jensen asked.

“What can I say? I’m a bottomless pit. Plus I only got nachos, remember?” You said.

“True. I just hope you’re not as bad as Jared.” Jensen said lightheartedly. “Do you want some of my quesadilla? Or I could make you something?”

“I couldn’t eat your food, I’m a guest.” You said.

“Yeah well, guests are welcome to eat around me in my rule book. What do you want? I could make you a sandwich, or heat up a frozen meal, or even cook if you really want.”

“Jensen, we’re supposed to be on a date.” You said.

“Right. Frozen meal it is then.” He said, beelining to the freezer.

You shook your head with a smile. You weren’t mad at him for “abandoning” you in order to make you something more sufficient to eat. Hell, you don’t know how anyone could be mad at someone like him. With his charming looks and personality, all carefully wrapped in some neat little box. It was quite refreshing, actually. You never really got close to many as a kid, and you were the epitome of a mess. He had it all together; you wished you had it in you to envy it.

After a few minutes, Jensen came from his kitchenette with a steaming heap of roast beef and vegetables straight from the microwave.

“Wow, thanks Chef Ackles.” You teased.

“Bon appetit!” He replied in an half-impressive french accent.

You had finished what was left of your nachos and fries, digging straight into the savory beef. Store bought or not, you were hungry. You practically wolfed half of it down within a few minutes, so into the taste of the food that you hadn’t noticed Jensen staring. You blushed but continued to eat at the same pace as he chuckled.

“Man, you weren’t kidding when you said you were hungry.” He said.

You made sure to swallow what was left of your food before speaking. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t be! I would hate to see you go home hungry. Just… Don’t eat my whole fridge or anything.” Jensen said.

You smiled. “I won’t. I’ll be full after this, I promise.”

“You promise..? Okay.” Jensen said with a smile.

The two of you sat for a couple moments in silence, both enjoying the meal in front of you. For once, the silence didn’t feel awkward. You could feel your anxiety beginning to rise again at first with the thought of an awkward silence, but when you looked into Jensen’s eyes it all melted away. You didn’t know what it was about him that made you feel so calm, but you never questioned it too much, as it would only lead to more knots. You remembered what he told you earlier on matching breaths, so you focused as best as you could without worrying him. That and your current breathing techniques helped return you to calm.

“Do you want to talk about what happened earlier tonight? Or do you just want to let it go?” Jensen asked after a few moments.

“I’m not really sure.” You admitted.

Another beat of silence went by comfortably.

“When did your panic attacks stop?” You asked.

“When did they stop?” He repeated.

“Yeah.” You said.

“I hate to break it to you, but they never really stopped.” He said. “They definitely are less often and more manageable though.”

“What helped? Well, besides I assume therapy.” You said.

“Well I tend to take breaks more often, for one. Loads of stress tend to bring them on, at least for me.” He said.

“That explains it then, it’s my job. But I can’t just “take a load off”, this is my dream.” You said.

“No, but you can take breaks once in a while and get someone else to help you with that load.” He said.

“Someone like who?” You asked.

“Someone like.. Me.” He said, smiling smugly.

“Wait.. huh?” You said, somehow containing your rosy cheeks.

“I’m joking. No really though, someone like a therapist, I mean.” He said.

“In a perfect world, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try. Although.. Jensen, I don’t really have time for therapy. I work 12+ hour days, and not to mention overtime.” You said.

“I made time, why can’t you? I never said you had to go weekly, unless if you wanted to of course. I meant more along the lines of once a month for an hour. That I know you could probably squeeze in, right?” He said.

You paused; he did have a point. If it really was likely going to help you, what wouldn’t you be doing in your free time anyway? An hour a month or even every couple weeks was sure to help make your life at least a little easier.

“Alright, say I take your idea. Where would I even start?” You asked.

“Well it’s just anxiety that you’re dealing with, right? I’m not trying to get too personal; you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” He said.

“For the most part, yeah.” You admitted.

“Well, if you want, you could always start with the therapist I see. He’s really good with that sort of thing.” Jensen said.

You smiled. “ I like the sound of that, actually. Thank you, Jensen.”

He smiled back and cupped the side of your face gingerly. “It’s not a problem.”

You instinctively stared down at his lips, slightly leaning forward for a kiss before stopping. Jensen didn’t seem like a fast moving guy, and he probably wasn't ready for what you had wanted to do. So you just backed away and averted your eyes, hoping your actions were unnoticed. Little did you know, Jensen had been thinking of the same thing.

[1thousandminus7]

As someone who's been living by himself for the first time for the last three months, may I add some stuff about food?

It's gonna be super easy to let your diet get real bad when there's no one else around to feed, plus living alone means it's very easy to have things go bad in your fridge before you get around to eating them. Here's what I've been doing:

Fresh vegetables and meat almost always come in quantities too much for one person to eat before the use by date, so bags of frozen chopped veggies are super useful. Additionally, most meats & alternative proteins can be frozen - but don't just put the packet in the freezer! You won't be able to separate out a single serving and you can't refreeze once you've defrosted something, so you'd have to prepare it all at once. Make sure you can take out one portion at a time.

Canned goods are also great. You can get a lot of good foods canned, including some veggies, beans, tuna, and lentils & other pulses. These last forever, so you're good to just keep em in the cupboard until they're useful.

It doesn't matter how much you enjoy cooking, there will be days when you cannot be arsed! To save yourself some money and give yourself some healthier options, when you CAN be bothered, batch-cook something that freezes easily. Soups, stews, curries, pasta dishes, these are all great options for making too much of and then freezing, and then on days when you're too busy or just don't want to prepare a meal just take it out and microwave it. I always keep at least three or four options for preprepared meals in my freezer. This is going to be far kinder on your wallet than getting takeout (though don't deny yourself a treat every now and then if you can afford it!).

Shelf-stable flavourings are also going to help massively. Eating the same foods over and over can be a mind-killer, and diversity in your herbs and spices is actually really good for your gut health. Dedicate a pantry shelf and slowly build up a collection of spice jars and seasonings, so when you make a meal you can just toss in whatever. The jars are individually quite cheap and you don't have to buy them all at once, once you do they'll last you a good long time. I'd start with paprika (sweet and smoked!), cumin, soy sauce, and mixed herbs. You can get creative from there! Put them in sauces, on proteins, sprinkle them over oven chips, whatever takes your fancy.

Oh, and be careful about freezing fresh vegetables that you haven't already chopped up or cooked. Sometimes they go a bit... sad. I learned this the hard way with some flaccid and unhappy carrots.

Cheese & eggs last longer than you think. Butter is also surprisingly immortal for a dairy product. Milk, cream/creme fraiche and yoghurt will go off much faster, so only buy as much as you're going to use, don't try to be economical by buying the larger containers.

Fresh fruit lasts longer in the fridge, and I've found that apples and pears last much longer than stone fruits. Berries will go mouldy after a day or two, so only buy them if you have the intention of eating them straight away.

Finally, I cannot believe I have to say this, but DO NOT listen to AI search engines about safe food storage/prep. It WILL lie to you. Stick to reliable websites & recipe books.

Food is your friend, and one of life's little joys! Find a routine that works for you, and keep at it, because a poor diet can and will have a knock-on impact on your mood, energy levels, and general zest for life.

By the wishes of a few people, here's my advice post about living alone. Keep in mind I'm speaking from the perspective of a canadian urbanite, so this will not apply to absolutely everybody in every kind of culture, economy, living situation, those in rural areas, etc. This also is not assuming wealth disparities are a matter of personal attitude, i KNOW it's complicated. Get back with that shit right now, you know damn well this advice assumes you are able to achieve the financial means to live on your own and is not disparaging anyone who legitimately can't.

Let's cover the basics first.

Source of income:

This seems rather obvious, but your income should be regular and reliably the same or similar on a monthly basis. The most obvious way to achieve this is with a job, and I'm sorry but minimum wage is not going to cut it on your own anymore, which means you're going to have to swallow your pride and accept that you'll likely have to work for some industry or corporation with a dodgy moral record. Get used to it. There is no point in self-flagellation, the world is complicated, just take the 50-60k a year office job, no one actually expects you not to and nobody will hold it against you when the "moral" option is soul-crushing retail. The real world really doesn't give a shit what you have to do to afford a comfortable lifestyle as long as you do what good you can within your abilities, no one in the real world expects you to sacrifice your own wellbeing for a cause.

Salaried positions are your most reliable because you'll always pull the same amount, while hourly pay comes with the ability to pull overtime pay in exchange for more shifts, but if you run out of sick days you'll have to spend the rest of the year taking unpaid time off when you need to call in. Whichever one you choose depends on what's available to you and what's right for you physically and mentally, I can't make that call for you.

You also need a credit card. That is non-negotiable. If you don't have a credit score, you can't sign a lease. Bad credit is better than no credit. We can argue until the cows come home whether or not credit scores are good or bad, but it's just reality that you're going to need one. The good news is it's fairly easy to build credit from no credit: you just have to pay off your credit card in full on time every time. The bad news is it's equally as easy to tank your credit score, you just have to miss one or pay it too late, and it's very hard to build good credit back from bad credit. So don't see it as free money, only spend as much as you can pay back, and if you don't have credit right now, start with small things like lunch and little treats that you immediately pay off.

Looking for a place to live:

Once you have your regular and reliable source of income, you can start looking for your place. There's a few things you should keep in mind:

-Draw up a budget for how much you can spend on rent and bills. That includes all basic living expenses: rent, utilities, food, internet, phone, hygiene. Compare how much you make per month to what you can spend. 1/3 to 1/2 of your salary is a bit more realistic to expect to spend on rent alone nowadays, so work within that range when you apartment hunt. Think of everything when you're budgeting, like how much do you spend on haircuts per month? You probably didn't think of that, because I didn't either at first.

-Apartment buildings with some/all utilities included often have higher base rents. You have to keep in mind that this is so the landlord can balance out the utility bills of the whole building, which are unpredictable expenses and on them to pay every month. If you don't know how to budget yet or don't know how to do so with unpredictable bills, I highly recommend trying to find a place with utilities included so you know EXACTLY how much you'll need to pay every month and can plan in advance

-Older buildings tend to be both cheaper and more likely to have centralized utility systems, which means they have to include it in the price of rent because there's no way to tell who used how much of something. If it's your first place alone, you'll probably be tempted to get the brand new, expensive building down the road, but it won't actually make much of a difference when you move in. You will love it regardless.

-Never ever sign a lease until you've either seen THE unit you're considering, or one of the show units that is exactly the same layout. The last thing you want is to go off online photos only to move in and find out the building has a mold problem. You can arrange personal tours by contacting the building manager or the landlord directly. Phone calls are the best way to do this.

-If you want the unit after seeing it, you know you can afford it, there's nothing funny about the place, apply IMMEDIATELY. Places are usually on the market for a few days before they're snapped up by a new tenant, you have to strike while the iron's hot.

-If you've decided on the place you want and had your application accepted, read the lease carefully before you sign. Many places require tenant insurance that meet specific policy requirements, have registration rules about long-term guests, outline how the parking works, quiet hours, smoking rules, mail, laundry, all the way down to what kind of barbecues are allowed on your deck in the case of mine (I am in a wildfire danger zone, so any types that produce embers are strictly prohibited for fire safety reasons). Ask any question that comes to mind about the lease. Not everything in a lease is some human rights violation just because you don't like landlords, keep in mind you're living in the same building as dozens of other people, so there has to be ground rules established for everyone's sanity.

-Internet is often not considered a utility so you'll have a hard time finding any place that includes it. You can arrange to have your wifi set up in advance of a moving date on a specific time and date, do this right after you sign a lease so you don't forget. They won't charge you until you're actually hooked up to the network.

-If your utilities are NOT included, get those set up in advance too. The main ones are HVAC, water, and electricity. The companies that do this vary depending on where you live and what's available, so shop around online once you've signed your lease and sign up as soon as possible. The last thing you want is to forget this and then move into a dark freezing apartment with no water.

Budgeting:

After your living expenses are covered, you should have a comfortable amount of financial wiggle room leftover. If you wouldn't, the place you're looking at is either too expensive, or you're being overcharged elsewhere. It's completely normal for living expenses to take up most of your budget these days, you're doing just fine in the same boat as everybody else if that's the case, so don't panic yet. If you have absolutely NOTHING leftover though, then you're out of your price range.

You also need to set money aside for fun and saving. Do not forego fun money, your brain will try to kill you with hammers and knives if you never get or do things for yourself. And if you're on your own, you're the only one providing that for yourself now. And a solid building base of savings will only help you in the future, whether you lose your job, have an emergency, or even need a down payment on a house later in life. Don't be a doomer about your circumstances or the socioeconomic and generational cards that were dealt to you, chip away at it a little at a time. And don't fall for social media's insistence that anybody with anything at all is some bourgeois degenerate or that being fortunate enough to be able to have upward mobility makes you some ultra wealthy shithead, working towards a comfortable standard of living for yourself does not make you a rich elite or a bad person. You're working towards the standard we should all live as, not exploiting the poor or being a class traitor. I feel the need to add that last part since we're on the website of "struggling art students in NYC are bourgeois that are just bad with money and having a gaming computer makes you upper middle class." Don't listen to a word any of those people say, I know it comes from a place of very real hurt and pain for them but that doesn't make it grounded in absolute reality for absolutely everybody.

Social needs:

If you're by yourself, there's gonna be a lot more work you have to put in for your social and entertainment needs. I can not stress enough how important it is to give this the time and work it needs, do not neglect this.

Lots of libraries have clubs you can join that will get you out of the house and meeting new people regularly. They're either free or very inexpensive. This is a great place to start.

Take advantage of technology we have now. Hop on discord calls more frequently, make sure you're talking to your friends on the regular and try to make plans as much as you can.

Also, I advise finding lots of things you can do by yourself. You will be spending way more time alone than you ever have before, so find single-person hobbies. Go thrifting, get into knitting, go explore the city, read lots of books, do puzzles, just don't lock yourself inside all day in your free time. Even if you're doing it alone, going out and seeing that the world is bigger than your apartment and your workplace is very good for you.

Misc advice:

You don't need a conventional coffee pot maker. Single serving will suit you just fine.

Cleaning is easier when you have a routine. It doesn't all have to be done on the same day of the week, but having a regular schedule of what gets cleaned when for non-daily chores will help you keep on top of it. And please, god, don't neglect your cleaning and hygiene just because no one lives with you to see it. On that note, spray bottle all purpose cleaners are your best friend for daily spot cleaning and you should deep clean your washroom around every 2 weeks in my experience since that's where you'll be doing most of your personal hygiene. Also make your damn bed, yes you'll just get back into it at the end of the day but having a major part of your space neat and tidy will do wonders for your mental health.

Don't buy the cheap garbage bags. Some things you really do want the expensive shit for.

If you don't have a car, delivery service/rideshare subscriptions ARE worth it and legitimately economical in the long run. I do wanna circle back to square one and say that yes, most of them like prime and uber do have dodgy moral records, but sometimes you just gotta swallow your pride and accept that. Once again, no one in the real world expects you to spend your entire day on public transit looking for toilet paper that isnt 30 dollars a pack or lugging 50 pounds of groceries back on a bus just for a cause. It's not the fault of someone who needs these services for their quality of life that they do the things they do, don't put that responsibility on your or other's shoulders when the fault lies at the top of the corporate ladder.

When you're budgeting for living expenses, expect your income to be at the lowest and your expenses to be at the highest. I expect 2 call ins per month and to need to spend the max amount i have on groceries every time, that way I never fall short and never have to cut into my savings that I've dubbed my "oh shit, I'm broke" money. Your emergency reserve may look tempting to you, but as someone who has been in a position where they had to drain it to nothing in the past because of an unforeseen financial emergency, you REALLY are gonna want that untouched if and when shit hits the fan. Life is unpredictable, prepare to roll with the punches so they don't knock you out.

A few people wanted to be tagged in this, so here you go @lilsnatch and @kisstheashes <3