#michaela the radiant

[drain-purge-purify]

Photo taken just a while before in game events kicked into motion. Ignorance is bliss, as they say... Now it's one of Michaela's most priced possessions, she often looks at it and cries after making it home beaten, bruised and violated

[sweatersexual]

Assigning random fictional characters to orders of the Knights Radiant

My only rule is, they can't canonically have magical powers in their own universe, or else I'd try to assign them based on what magic powers they have. I want to do this based on their character development and the ideals of their Radiant order.

Penelope Alvarez from One Day at a Time - Windrunner

I love One Day at a Time, it's one of my comfort shows. And now that I think about it, Penelope is very similar to Kaladin. They're both veterans who work in healthcare and struggle with depression. Protecting her family and the people around her is one of Penelope's main motivations, and we see her really come into her own as a leader over the course of the series. TV mom of all time, honestly.

Nancy Wheeler from Stranger Things - Skybreaker

I'm not saying Nancy is a cop. Far from it. I think she is motivated by justice though. Nothing gets her going like seeing others being unfairly dealt with, whether it's her friend's death being covered up or a little old lady not being listened to. I will say that she is like the canon Skybreakers in that she has faith in the system and she generally tries to work within it. It's only when supernatural circumstances defy the way the system is supposed to work that she reaches for her gun.

Edward Teach from Our Flag Means Death - Dustbringer/Releaser

Blackbeard is why the Releaser oaths are so concerned with self mastery. He caused so much destruction even without having any magical powers, imagine if he could incinerate things with a touch. Despite all that, Ed refused to let himself directly kill anyone because of what murder has turned him into. His character development is about learning the self control required to create instead of destroy. Also, he totally dresses like an ashspren, they would see him as one of them.

Blanca Evangelista from Pose - Edgedancer

Another iconic TV mom. Caring for the forgotten is not only Blanca's entire thing - breaking off and starting her own house specifically for that purpose is literally the inciting incident of the whole show. Taking care of others is how she copes with the difficult circumstances of her own life, but her friends remind her to take care of herself as well. The actress who plays her - Michaela Jae Rodriguez - moves with a grace that perfectly suits an Edgedancer.

Elle Woods from Legally Blonde - Truthwatcher

I woke up this morning thinking, "Elle Woods would totally be a Truthwatcher," which is what inspired me to make this post. She learns to value scholarship, and she basically uses Progression on all the friends she makes over the course of the movie. Elle heals Paulette's self confidence by helping her realize her best self. She and Vivian help each other realize they both deserve better than Warner. And she speaks truth to power, whether it's to her bestie's shitty ex or her asshole of a professor.

Wirt from Over the Garden Wall - Lightweaver

Probably the easiest to assign an order to. Aside from having the dramatic tendencies and creative ability of most Lightweavers, Wirt definitely lies to himself and others a lot. The show is very focused on Wirt learning and speaking his truths. I also think having a Cryptic with him 24/7 would drive him up the wall in the most hilarious way.

Janine Teagues from Abbott Elementary - Elsecaller

I thought about making her an Edgedancer, I really did. The Edgedancer ideals are a big part of her motivation for getting into teaching. But her character development is headed more in the direction of self actualization. She doesn't only want to be a teacher, she wants to be the best teacher possible. Janine also has the cautious personality and logical problem-solving skills of an Elsecaller.

Prince Wilhelm from Young Royals - Willshaper

Because Wille is constantly surrounded by lies, my first thought was that he'd be a Lightweaver. But he doesn't have the temperament to be a good illusionist. His character arc is more about seeking freedom and self expression for himself as well as others. Okay, mainly for himself. He's just a kid, but now that he (spoilers!) has abdicated the throne he can totally rage against the machine.

Eleanor Shellstrop from The Good Place - Stoneward

Eleanor starts out as probably the worst candidate for a Stoneward you could imagine. Good thing her show is all about self development! Her friends really come to rely on her by the time season 4 rolls around. Her team becomes her main motivation, and she overcomes her defensive selfishness to connect with and be there for others. The one Stoneward quality she did have from the get-go would definitely be her stubbornness, though.

Leslie Knope from Parks & Rec - Bondsmith

Leslie is all about unity and bringing people together. Her personality alone is powerful enough to be a Bondsmith. I definitely think she could fight Dalinar and steal the Stormfather from him, don't you? Maybe it's a good thing she can't worldhop . . .

[gender-queeries]

So right now I have a main name or two, but im nomifluid and always looking for names lmao. I wont be too specific cuz i feel like thats rude 😭but im looking for names from these:

Culture wise: celtic/irish, germanic, slavic, american/british

Can also be straight made up lmao, i make up names all the time

Mythological: greek, celtic, slavic, germanic, cryptid/folklore

Any object/aesthetic name to do with weirdcore, cryptids, darkness/shadows, mushrooms, dreams, demons, angels, grunge/punk/goth

Any time period from now to literally the middle ages is fine lol

ILL TAKE ANY NAME FROM THESEEE it doesnt have to be a huge list either 😭😭😭

For the sign off ill do 🫧🍄

you didn't tell me whether you preferred feminine, masculine, or gender-neutral names, so i'll give you some of each!! i hope at least one of these speaks to you

(also i'm so sorry there are so many, i got carried away and did this for literal hours on end)

'Real' Names

Feminine:

Achlys - from Greek Mythology, means "mist" or "darkness", is said to be the name of one of the figures on Herakles' shield

Aisling (typically pronounced "ash-ling" or "ash-lin") - Irish, means "dream" or "vision". variations include Ashling, Aislin, Aislinn, and Aislynn

Aureole - English, means "radiant halo"

Ciara (typically pronounced "keer-ah") - Irish, feminine version of Ciar. variations include Kiera

Melanie - English, French, Latin, and Greek, the French form of the Latin name Melania, which was derived from the Greek word μέλαινα (melaina, means "black" or "dark"). variations include Melany

Michaela - English, feminine variant of Michael. variations include Makayla, Mckayla/McKayla, Mikayla, Michayla, and Mikhaila

Morrigan - Irish, means "demon queen" or "great queen", the name of a goddess of war and death in Celtic mythology

Naomh (typically pronounced "neeve") - Irish, means "holy". variations include Niamh and Nieve

Reverie - English, means "daydream"

Sanja - Slavic, means "to dream"

Sanjica - Slavic, diminutive of Sanja

Seraphina - English, derived from the biblical words seraphim (the name of an order of angels)

Masculine:

Asmodeus - of Biblical origin, means "wrath" and "demon", the name of a demon in the Book of Tobit. variations include Ashmedai, Asmodai, and Asmodaios

Ciar (typically pronounced "keer") - Irish, means "black", variations include Kier

Duff - Scottish or Irish surname, Anglicized spelling of the Gaelic word dubh (meaning "dark")

Erebus - from Greek mythology, means "nether darkness", was the personification of the "primordial darkness" in Greek mythology, variations include Erebos

Ingram - Germanic, composed of Germanic words angil or engil (see Engel) and hram (raven)

Kirk - English surname, derived from the Old Norse word kirkja (meaning "church")

Malachi - English & Hebrew, meaning "my messenger/angel". variations include Malakai

Michael - English, means "who is like God?", the name of an archangel

Naomhan (typically pronounced "neeve-in" or "nevv-in") - Irish, masculine version/diminutive of Naomh. variations include Niven and Nevan

Orpheus - from Greek mythology, likely means "the darkness of night", the name of a prominent figure in Greek mythology

Rocco - Germanic, possibly derived from the Germanic word hruoh (meaning "crow/rook"). variations include Rochus

Sanjin - Slavic, masculinized version of Sanja

Androgynous:

Angel - English, meaning is pretty self-explanatory

Ciaran (typically pronounced "keer-in" - Irish, diminutive of Ciar. variations include Kieran, Kieron, and Kyran

Engel - Germanic, originally associated with the Angles, but has since come to be closely associated with angels due to its similarity to the Old German word for angel, engil

Mikey - English, common nickname for Michael, sometimes used as a name on its own

Phoebe - English, the Latinized form of the Greek name Phoibe, meaning "bright" or "pure". Phoibe was also the name of a Titan from Greek mythology, who was associated with the moon

Raven - English, self-explanatory meaning

most of these names were found and/or defined using the Behind the Name website, which is a very helpful resource that i recommend to folks looking for names (for themselves, friends, and/or OCs)

Nouns and Made-up Names

Agaric - shortened form of the name of a large genus of fungi (Agaricus)

Amanita - the name of a large genus of toxic mushrooms

Caddy - a common nickname for the Cadborosaurus willsi, an old cryptid, said to be a sea serpent

Leed/Leeds - another name for the Jersey Devil, a well-known cryptid said to roam the South Jersey Pine Barrens

Willsi - the end of the name of the Cadborosaurus willsi (prev.)

Yarri - a common nickname for the Queensland Tiger, a cryptid said to roam the Queensland area of Australia

[kakivino]

Il Marroneto 2015 Brunello di Montalcino

Extravagantly floral bouquet literally fills an entire hall with potpourri, violets, red cherry and pine, plus touches of underbrush and tar. Pure, precise and minerally throughout. Scrumptious red fruit, blood orange, tobacco and rose water palate closes fresh yet steely and slightly herbal, with sneaky refined tannins that build and build and knit away to her glorious purpose, notwithstanding her deceptively ethereal façade. Absolutely gorgeous. Outstanding brunello from northern sector far removed from some of her brutish peers. — ★★★★½

Appellation: Brunello di Montalcino Region: Montalcino, Toscana, Italy Subzone: Montalcino Nord Cépage: 100% Sangiovese Grosso Abv: 13.9% Production: 23,569 Élevage: 39 months in 26hl old French casks, 6 in bottle Distributor: n/a

Critic Reviews:

Fragrant and loaded with finesse, this perfumed red features enticing scents of woodland berry, pine forest, violet, underbrush and a whiff of sandalwood. Elegantly structured, it's tantalizingly ethereal, delivering juicy red cherry, strawberry, black tea, licorice and a pronounced mineral note evoking rusty iron alongside tightly knit, refined tannins. It's surprisingly vibrant for the hot vintage and still youthfully austere, but that's a good thing as it shows great aging potential. Drink 2025–2035. Kerin O'Keefe (Wine Enthusiast, 05/2020) 98

Very lively red. Aromas of raspberry, blood orange and herbs. Sneaky concentration and complexity to the very pure flavors of red berries, blood orange and herbs. Tight with firm tannins on the clean, steely finish. Ian d'Agata (Vinous, 04/2020) 94

There is an inherent sweetness to this red, courtesy of the ripe strawberry and cherry fruit, complemented by mineral, tobacco and wild herb notes, balanced by a backbone of dense, refined tannins. Shows fine balance and length. Best from 2023 through 2040. Bruce Sanderson (Wine Spectator, 03/2020) 95

You just can't beat the purity of the bouquet here: cherries, red licorice, blue flowers and currants. It's all stunning. Il Marroneto's 2015 Brunello di Montalcino opens to a light garnet color with faint ruby highlights. The wine never veers from its lanes, sticking to an absolutely traditional and fresh expression from the appellation. It offers a lean to medium-weight mouthfeel with radiant fruit flavors—think pure cherry fruit. Fruit is harvested from a five-hectare parcel at 300 meters above sea level with calcareous sand and Galestro soils. These conditions lead to the aromatic intensity of the wine, and that's the main takeaway in this classic vintage. There is a moment of softness that expands quickly over the palate. These results are graceful and gorgeous. Some 23,569 bottles were made. This wine was bottled in June 2019, and it hit the market in January 2020. Drink: 2021-2038 Monica Larner (Wine Advocate, 01/2020) 96+

Tasted blind. Just mid ruby. Sweetly perfumed strawberry and cherry fruit. Elegant, almost ethereal fruit, but growing in stature on the finish and with bags of gorgeous, coating tannins. Long and aromatic, just not piling it very high at the moment, but with a full spread on the finish. Drink: 2020–2032 Walter Speller (www.jancisrobinson.com, 02/2020) 17.5

Il Marroneto sits just north of the town of Montalcino. Owner Alessandro Mori explains that the soil here is predominantly marine sand with micro-minerals from the coast, giving a floral rather than fruity expression. He uses botti (large oak casks) only for ageing, with some dating back to the 1970s - though it must be said that the cellar here is fanatically clean. The 2015 rings through with purity and clarity and is indeed decidedly mineral and floral-driven. Sweet earth, dried violets and lavender complement an underlying core of cherry and raspberry. The palate is tangy and saline with lots of substance, flavour and depth. Wonderfully textured with grainy tannins that escalate across the palate. Drink: 2020-2032. Michaela Morris (Decanter, 02/2020) 94

[heavenboy09]

Happy Birthday 🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁 🎊 To The Most Ravishing & Radiant British Redheaded Actress Of All Times.

She has starred in Countless Films 🎥 & A Iconic Television Series & Tv Movies Over Several Decades In Her Acting Career

Hailing all the way Uxbridge,  Middlesex Of England 🇬🇧

She was born to Mieke van Tricht (1914–2007),

a nurse, and Benjamin John Frankenberg FRCOG (1914–1990), a distinguished gynaecologist and obstetrician. Her father was Jewish; he was born in England, to a family from Nowe Trzepowo, a village in Poland. Her mother was a Dutch Protestant (with family from Deventer) who was a prisoner of war during World War II and had lived in the Dutch East Indies (now Indonesia). Seymour has stated she learned Dutch from her mother and her fellow survivors from the Japanese internment camp, who frequently spent holidays together in the Netherlands when she was a child. Encouraged by her parents (who sent her to live with family friends in Geneva to practise her languages), she learned to speak fluent French.

In 1969, Seymour appeared uncredited in her first film, Richard Attenborough's Oh! What a Lovely War. In 1970, Seymour appeared in her first major film role in the war drama The Only Way. She played Lillian Stein, a Jewish woman seeking shelter from Nazi persecution. In 1973, she gained her first major television role as Emma Callon in the successful 1970s series The Onedin Line. During this time, she appeared as female lead Prima in the two part television miniseries Frankenstein: The True Story. She appeared as Winston Churchill's girlfriend Pamela Plowden in Young Winston, produced by her father-in-law Richard Attenborough.

In 1973, Seymour achieved international fame in her role as Bond girl Solitaire in the James Bond film Live and Let Die. IGN ranked her as 10th in a Top 10 Bond Babes list. In 1975, Seymour was cast as Princess Farah in Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger, the third part of Ray Harryhausen's Sinbad trilogy. The film was not released until its stop motion animation sequences had been completed in 1977. In 1978, she appeared as Serina in the Battlestar Galactica film and in the first five episodes of the television series. Seymour returned to the big screen in the comedy Oh Heavenly Dog opposite Chevy Chase

In 1993, Seymour was cast as Dr. Michaela Quinn in the television series Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, a medical drama set in the Wild West which ran for 6 seasons and resulted in a further two Emmy nominations and four Golden Globe nominations, including one win. Seymour was given a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and, in 2000, was appointed an Officer Of The Order Of The British Empire

In addition to her acting career, Seymour is the founder of the Open Hearts Foundation as well as an author, having (co-)written several children's books and self-help books. Under the Jane Seymour Designs label, she has created jewellery, scarves, furniture, rugs, handbags, paintings and sculptures.

In the 2000's She returned back to Back Television in The WB'S/ CW'S Hit Superhero TV Series 📺 Based On DC COMICS Comicbook Character,  Superman 🦸‍♂️

SMALLVILLE

& appeared in Other films & tv shows later on

From Wedding Crashers 💒

To Modern Men

From How I Met Your Mother

To Dancing With The Stars 🌟

She has posed for Playboy 3 times over the her long time Career & At Her Age There Is No Stopping Her Ageless Beauty from Being More Ravishing then ever before.

She is The Greatest English Actress Of Pur Times Among All Of The Greatest Since the Early 1900's & Beyond

Please wish this Radiant Treasure ✨ Of A British Actress A Very Elegant & Graceful Happy Birthday 🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁 🎊

You Know Her & You Just Gotta Love Her 💘

The 1 & The Only

MS. JANE SEYMOUR ♥ 👩‍🦰

HAPPY 72ND BIRTHDAY 🎂 💓 💗 💖 ❤ TO YOU MS. SEYMOUR

[dancingisdangerouss]

Hey babe, just stopping by to say that we all (but mostly I 🥰) love you and that your mental, physical and emotional health matter. You shouldn’t have to feel censored about speaking your mind, or feel like you’re being guilt-tripped about anything. The world is yours for the taking, and it doesn’t know how much of a goddess YOU are.

You’re a beautiful bad bitch. You’re strong, you’re gorgeous. You are so talented and I’ll kick anybody’s ass who says otherwise. Don’t lose faith in yourself or what you like. Your opinion matters. And remember, you’re a queen amongst an ignorant flock of peasants (anonymous haters, the usual trolls).

And if anyone calls you a bitch, just remember what Latrice Royale likes to say: “A bitch means Being In Total Control of Herself.” 😌✌🏻

You got this, sis! Hope you’re doing alright.

Love, your big tiddy goth best friend, Michaela 🦇

JDJKSKKSJFKARGGHH BESTIIIIIEE 🥺🥺🥺

Thank you so much my love, I’m doing my best!! I might kill my insides with junk food and energy drinks trying to get through it, but I’ve dealt with worse.

But yeah thank you babe 🥺 I feel bad about it, but I also follow fanfics that take a full month to update one chapter and haven’t abandoned them, so I’m hoping a few extra days won’t run anyone off. I just need some time to deal with personal stuff/be there for people who need me right now.

I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE A RADIANT BEAUTY OF KINDNESS AND TALENT AND YOU DESERVE ONLY THE BEST IN LIFE 💚💚💚

[andrewmoocow]

Little Homeworld Life chapter 8: The Krav Maga Gem (originally published on October 3, 2022)

AN: We're getting pretty close to the end of the season here, everyone. Time flew by so fast now that I think about it. Guess that's what happens when you're a twenty-one-year-old college boy who feels like time keeps moving way too fast for his taste. And in addition, consider this a spiritual tie-in to the ever amazing Cobra Kai, and by extension The Karate Kid. Only this is about Krav Maga instead of karate, and there's no rival dojos to contend with, only just one rival that Teal Zircon accidentally gets way in over her head against. Now, if we have nothing else to discuss, let the challenge begin!

Synopsis: Vice-president Theresa Maxwell teaches Krav Maga to Teal Zircon.

Cast:

Amy Sedaris as Teal Zircon

Wendie Malick as Theresa Maxwell

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl

Jennifer Paz as Lapis

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Lin-Manuel Miranda as Eduardo Suarez

GZA as Wade Grant

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Featuring Ralph Macchio as Master Dan

Sean Schemmel as Jotaro Kaminashi

Christopher Sabat as Seto Itadori

Stephanie Sheh as Ujibe

Tony Oliver as Spiker

Kaiji Tang as Larry

Hilary Swank as Young Theresa Maxwell

And William Zabka as Tourist

--

"You cannot defeat me, Jotaro Kaminashi!" the Iron Blazer Seto Itadori exclaimed as he and his rival Jotaro Kaminashi faced off in an epic martial arts tournament. "My weather magic level is over 9000!"

"It's true, you may have great power, but none compared to the power of friendship!" Jotaro replied bravely. "If it weren't for all of my friends that helped me get to this point, like Ujibe, Spiker, and Larry, I wouldn't be standing here today as your fierce opponent!"

"We love you, Jotaro!" Jotaro's primary female companion and love interest Ujibe cried out, her assets jiggling a little too much in her skimpy outfit.

"We're with you all the way!" Jotaro's childhood best friend Spiker added.

"You got this." Jotaro's incredibly manly mentor Larry said tersely with a thumbs up.

"Their love for me shall give me my strength!" Jotaro cried happily as he was bathed in a golden-brown aura. "Behold, my ultimate technique!"

"Is that so?" Seto smirked arrogantly as he powered up with an emerald-green aura. "Then check out my technique!"

"AUTUMN LEAVES BREATHING STYLE: RAKE FLECHETTE!" Jotaro screamed as the two rivals charged at each other before Jotaro launched a barrage of light construct knives.

"SPRING BREEZE OVERDRIVE: BUTTERFLY METAMORPHOSIS!" Seto bellowed as he formed a barrier around himself like a cocoon that broke apart to give him radiant butterfly wings.

--

"And yeah, that's Divine Fighters of Mother Nature." Lapis said as she introduced Teal Zircon to anime. "Which anime do you want me to show you next? Planet Chasers: Starlight Excellent is so addicting, you could watch it all day, every day."

"No, I wanna keep watching this!" Teal exclaimed as she became enraptured by the rivalry between Jotaro and Seto. "Man, this show is so exciting! The animation looks amazing, the music is killer, all the characters are so lovable in their own ways, and the fights! The fights!"

"Yeah, there's a reason why so many people call this one of the best shonen anime." Lapis smiled at Teal. "Glad to see you like it. Who's your favorite character?"

"I think I like Seto the most; he's just so cool!" Teal replied eagerly. "I want someone like him to be my rival! I want to become a butt-kicking fighter too!"

"You want a rival?" Lapis asked. "I'd like to see you last against one." Just then, her phone began ringing, and Lapis pulled it out to see the message she got. "Sorry, but I must go. The president is visiting today and wants to see all the Crystal Gems."

"Okay then, this arc is almost done anyways." Teal replied as she turned her attention back to the anime. "We're almost at the episode where the main villain Kurengo reveals himself to have been organizing the tournament this whole time! Oops, spoilers!"

"Naw, I've already seen this arc." Lapis responded. "No need to worry about spoiling." Before she could leave, however, the water Gem gave a foreboding warning to Teal. "Though I wouldn't get too attached to that cute referee girl if I were you."

"Somehow, I feel like that might be a bad thing." Teal nervously replied before turning back to the show.

--

"So then, I said, why the long face?" White Topaz joked to Jasper as they sat on a bench at Little Homeworld. "You get it, because horses have long faces?"

"You know, that honestly makes me think more about the anatomy of these horses." Jasper responded to her girlfriend's joke. "Why do they have such long faces? Is there some kind of evolutionary reason to it or something?"

"I don't think you're getting the joke." White Topaz bluntly declared before they heard a rustle in the bushes. "Hey, did you hear that?"

"Let me check." Jasper said before beginning to investigate the bush where the couple had heard rustling. To her surprise, there was nothing there. "Hmph, guess it must've been the wind or something." She muttered in realization before turning away. "So anyways-"

"HYAAAHH!" Teal Zircon let out a loud Kiai as she leaped out of the trees while dressed as a ninja in garish colors. "Jasper, I have come to challenge you!"

"Uh, can I help you, Teal?" Jasper asked, completely taken aback by the Zircon's change in personality.

"Nice getup, TZ!" White Topaz complemented Teal's goofy attire.

"Weren't you going to break our bond?! Jasper?!" Teal theatrically asked Jasper, making the latter even more confused.

"I feel like I'm missing something here," Jasper wondered. "But judging by your attire, I assume you wish to challenge me."

"Yes, I must defeat you, for you are my rival and the one thing keeping me from becoming the president of the ninjas!" Teal exclaimed as she produced a kunai from her sleeve. "Now come and face me, and let us decide if our insurmountable tension means we're actually in love with each other!"

"Have you been watching anime with Lapis lately?" Paz asked Teal. "I feel like some of those shonens are getting to your head."

"The only thing in my head is the drive to win!" Teal exclaimed as she pulled out an MP3 player to play a poorly dubbed anime opening for her fight with Jasper.

"DRIVE TO WIN! DRIVE TO WIN!" the player yelled as Teal struck a pose and beckoned Jasper to bring it on. "THE ONLY THING IN MY HEAD IS THE DRIVE TO WIN!"

"This should be good for a laugh." Jasper rolled her eyes and charged at Teal. "RAAAARGH!"

"I have been training all my life, yes, all my life! All that time I spent was for the purpose to FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!" Teal's player continued singing in a ridiculous accent as Jasper started running circles around her opponent, not even bothering to land a real hit on Teal as a way of humoring the Zircon. "If you want power, say it with me now! All you gotta do is eat RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT! Always have a good meal three times a day; that will give you the DRIVE TO WIN!"

"Do you even wanna fight?!" Teal yelled as she tried to keep Jasper on her toes, despite the quartz's lack of interest in their battle. "It's like you don't even care that the fate of the planet is at stake!"

"You've been watching too much TV." Jasper smirked in response. "But if you want to fight, then allow me to give it my all."

"About time, too!" Teal smirked and conjured up an energy ball in her hand. "FAMILY JEWEL FLASH!" Unfortunately, Jasper punched her square in the face before she could launch the attack and sent her flying to the ground. "I have seen raccoons and oysters dancing in the head of a pin with the angels." TZ babbled in a daze. "They are laughing!"

"Geez, Jasp, you didn't need to hit her that hard." White Topaz said as she helped Teal up.

"Hard? I was going easy on her!" Jasper exclaimed as she marched over to TZ. "Look, Teal, you may think I was being harsh, but your spirit and determination honestly made me think you have potential." She said to her fallen opponent. "The only problem is that you're way over your head way too often. Try and fix that, and we'll have a rematch, okay?"

"You're right!" Teal declared. "I need proper training; I need a training arc!" That was when she got an idea. "I need to find the Gems! Lapis said they were meeting with the president, right?"

"Yeah, I think I heard they were gathering at the temple in Beach City." Jasper answered, but she didn't even have time to finish before Teal raced towards the local Warp Pad to the beach house. "Hey, if you want a rematch later, you know where to find me!" she hollered at the Zircon.

--

"Now, you may wonder why we have brought you together today." President Eduardo Suarez said to the Crystal Gems as he, his vice president Theresa Maxwell, and the major general Wade Grant sat down with the Gems at the beach house. "Well, it's to discuss your celebrity status."

"Despite all the good you've done and the praise we've showered you with, it seems you got yourselves a few detractors that believe Black Rutile was actually innocent and deserves better." Theresa said while pulling out her phone to show the Crystal Gems the various uses of #BlackRutileWasRight on social media. "Though thankfully, it's mostly used by incels, conservatives, homophobes, skinheads, conspiracy theorists, users utilizing the tag to fantasize about their favorite Korean boy bands, etc."

"Oh yeah, I think I've seen one of those incels before." Amethyst said. "Some misogynist loser named Andre Kate who's been making a name for himself for his videos about how much he hates women."

"Honestly, how can anyone take him seriously?" Pearl sighed in disgust at the man Amethyst had just described.

"I think we should be more concerned about this." Garnet forebodingly proclaimed.

"No need to worry, Garnet." Wade assured the fusion while gently stroking both Cat Steven and Lion. "At the moment, they don't mean any long-term harm, just cancel culture at work here. I mean, it's not like they're going to form an army against you, right?"

"We already have to deal with Black Rutile and the Gems who agreed with her." Bismuth responded. "But humans who agree with her?! That's a whole different ballpark entirely!"

"I'm gonna have to agree with Bismuth on this one." Lapis added. "Who knows what these mindless sheep can do when they're all brought together?!"

"Probably some obnoxious complaining." Peridot smirked deviously. "Let's be real, it's the Internet! They'll always submit to whoever has the most amount of followers."

"You are indeed correct." Eduardo agreed with the little green Gem just as the Warp Pad hummed, and from the beam of light came a panicky Teal Zircon.

"Oh, Teal, what brings you here?" Lapis asked Teal.

"GUYS, I TRIED CHALLENGING JASPER TO A FIGHT, BUT I GOT UTTERLY WASTED, AND NOW I FEEL LIKE SHE WANTS A REMATCH!" Teal screamed loud enough to blow everyone's hair back. "WHICH ONE OF YOU CAN TRAIN ME TO BE A COOL ANIME MARTIAL ARTIST?!"

"Calm down, Teal, it'll be okay." Garnet settled the Zircon's anxieties with just a hand on her shoulder as TZ gazed into Garnet's visor. "If you'd like, I can give you a few instructions on how to fight."

"No need, Garnet." Theresa laughed with a snort as she got up and put a hand on Teal's shoulder. "What's your name, junior, Teal? Nice name. It really fits your color. Well, allow me to be your combat instructor!"

"You, my master?" Teal tilted her head in confusion. "But you look like a cool, funny businesslady, not a fighter."

"That's where you're wrong!" Theresa smirked with pride. "I'm not just a vice president of the United States; I'm also a black belt in Krav Maga from my years studying abroad when I was but a wee spunky college girl."

"That reminds me, you still owe me a sparring match!" Amethyst replied to Theresa.

"Oh, don't worry, little grape, you'll get your chance soon." Theresa smirked at the overcooked Gem with doe eyes before turning back to Teal. "So, whaddya say? Wanna come with me back to my place in DC to train with me?"

"Are you kidding me?! I'm in!" Teal replied eagerly at the prospect of training with an experienced fighter. "When do we start?!"

"Now, Teal, promise us that you'll behave yourself with Ms. Maxwell." Garnet ordered Teal. "She's the vice president and your mentor, so it's best to treat her as she would treat you."

"Yeah, you're lucky!" Amethyst added.

"Have fun, you two!" Pearl agreed. "And Theresa, try to keep an eye on Teal too. She can get very excitable and a little easily distracted."

"Oh, stuff and nonsense!" Teal scoffed at Pearl. "I have an excellent-" She was then interrupted by a wayward fly buzzing around her face. "Oh, look at that."

--

Once the meeting between the president and the Gems concluded, Teal Zircon was on her way to Number One Observatory Circle in Washington DC, where Theresa lived as part of her duties as vice president of the USA. It is also where Teal would be living as part of her Krav Maga training. Needless to say, Teal was absolutely excited to come along.

"So, do you live here all by yourself?" Teal asked as Theresa welcomed the Gem into her home. "I thought most vice presidents were married."

"Eh, didn't have enough time to get hitched, kid." Theresa answered. "Which means I get this whole house to myself! Aside from my own staff to keep the place running, of course."

"Lucky you!" Teal replied while bouncing up and down. "So when do we start training?"

"Just give me some time to freshen up and change before we begin." Theresa answered as she undid her hair and walked away. "Make yourself at home in the meantime."

"Okay!" Teal obeyed and sat down at a nearby chair, looking for something to do. All around her were various memorabilia dedicated to Theresa's achievements throughout her life, both before and after she became vice president. Spelling bee trophies, high school and college diplomas, world records broken, modeling for magazine covers, it seemed to Teal that her new mentor had enough stories to tell to last her ages.

"Alright, kiddo, I'm back." Theresa announced while walking back to her new pupil; her pantsuit now exchanged for a standard Krav Maga uniform. "Now, a few ground rules for Krav Maga. This martial art is about being aggressive, efficient, and above all else, being the last one standing. In Layman's terms, strike first, strike hard, no mercy, as a wise man once said."

"So this isn't anything like karate or kung-fu, then?" Teal asked.

"Far from it, starry eyes!" Theresa exclaimed. "Heck, some of the moves you'd learn would get you kicked out of an average martial arts contest! You said you wanted to be cool? Well, this will make you cool!"

"Well, what are we waiting for?!" Teal cheered impatiently. "Let's hit each other!"

"If you say so." Theresa declared and spread out her arms. "Hit me." Teal did just that and punched her in the chest. "Ooh, really strong! Hit me again!" The Zircon did as she was told by hitting Theresa in the chest again. "Okay, one more time!"

"I'm getting pumped up already!" Teal excitedly said as she kept punching Theresa. "What do I do next, master?!"

"Good to see you're getting into the swing of things, kiddo!" Theresa grinned before handing the Zircon a sponge, a bucket of water, and some wax. "Gonna need you to wax the car for me. You can't miss it; it's the fancy one out front!"

"She's a Buick!" TZ complimented the vice president's maroon-red automobile.

"A Bel-Air Prince 1990, actually." Theresa responded. "Won it at an auction against Will Smith back in 2014. Yes, that Will Smith."

--

Moments later, TZ was working hard on waxing the Bel-Air Prince, still wearing her Krav Maga uniform while Theresa changed into a casual T-shirt and shorts and was drinking some pop.

"Keep it coming, squirt!" Theresa urged TZ to keep working while taking another sip of soda. "And remember, wax on, wax off!"

"Is this part of my training?" Teal asked her mentor. "Will this help me with strength and muscle memory?"

"That's for you to decide." Theresa replied grinningly. "That reminds me, I've got some more things for you to do."

--

The next task Teal was ordered to do was to help Theresa with her laundry for the day, sticking various suits, shirts, pants, and other assorted clothing items into the many washing machines lined the basement walls.

"Hey, has anyone ever stuffed themselves into one of these before?" Teal asked after loading some clothes into one of the washers and closing the door. "Bet you a dollar that you can do it!"

"Oh please, I'm not that stupid!" Theresa scoffed with a snort. "Plus, I'm way too big to fit in one of those. But I bet you can, though!"

"Oh, you're on!" Teal dared as she shoved herself into a nearby machine. "Now wash me up, sista!" Theresa grinned as she turned the machine on, taking the Gem for a sopping wet ride as she was sent tumbling around the washer. "WHOOOO!"

"Just tell me when to stop, Teal; we got more work to do." Theresa called from outside as Teal continued tumbling and started getting wet.

"Ooh, I bet it's more training disguised as chores!" Teal exclaimed, though Theresa could barely hear her from outside the machine since it was starting to fill up with water. "I wonder what I'll do next!"

--

Soon after, Teal and Theresa were hitting the pool after the fun they had in the laundry room came to an unfortunate end. While Theresa was catching some rays in a yellow designer bikini that revealed her amazing curves, Teal, on the other hand, was turned into a makeshift pool-Gem who scooped debris out of the water.

"So what's this for, hand-eye coordination?" TZ asked as she fished out leaves, sticks, dead bugs, and other gross things from the ordinarily pristine pool. "Because I'm not sure if I like this. Everything in here is so grody!"

"Hey, gotta make tough choices for good reasons!" Vice President Maxwell replied as she took a sip of her drink. "Maybe later. Can you be a doll and give me some sunscreen? Summer's winding to a close, and I want to get every bit of sun I can still absorb!" Teal frowned in resignation as she started getting suspicious of her mentor's true motives.

--

Eventually, the afternoon turned into evening, which meant it was time for dinner at Washington. And of course, Teal was tasked with making the night's meal for her and Theresa to eat. While chopping up vegetables, Teal was greeted by more vegetables being tossed at her, and she cut them up with extreme precision. "Nice throw there, but what was that for?"

"If you can dodge a tomato, you can dodge a big, orange Amazon!" Theresa declared as she prepared another veggie to throw. "So, how's that Greek salad coming along?"

"I'm not even sure what I'm doing here." TZ replied, gazing down at her attempt at dinner, which looked like stuff she haphazardly threw together and nearly burnt to a crisp. "Uh, you want something microwaved instead?"

"Eh, accidents happen, buddy." Theresa remarked at Teal's failed Greek salad. "You up for frozen mac and cheese?"

"Oh, heck yeah!" Teal answered excitedly, glad to sit down to dinner at last with her master.

--

Once dinner wrapped up, Theresa felt like taking a shower and invited Teal to join her. Under the belief that she would do more chores for the vice president, Teal readily accepted and was positively enamored with how opulent she discovered the bathroom to be.

"Zoo-wee-mama, this place is huge!" TZ gasped in awe as Theresa stepped into the shower. "You must be super lucky to have a place like this!"

"Why, thank you." Theresa smirked as she peeked her head out of the shower. "Now, would you be a doll and help me in here? I got some parts on my back that I just can't reach. My old lady arms can only stretch so far."

"You got it, hoss!" Teal willingly complied with a stuck-out tongue and quickly joined her teacher in the shower to help wash her back. "So what's this for, knowing which weak points to exploit on your enemy?"

"Uh, sure? Why not?" Theresa laughed nervously as she scrubbed her hair with shampoo, making Teal more suspicious as she continued with the vice president's back.

--

The following day, there were more chores for Teal Zircon to do, which she still assumed to be part of her Krav Maga training, though now she was slowly starting to get wise to the fact that Theresa was possibly using her. This time, she was told to tend to the garden room by watering flowers, throwing out dead flowers that have long since worn out their welcome, and helping new ones grow in the proper conditions.

"Ooh, these are some pretty rare ones you got here." Teal complimented Theresa's assortment of flowers. "Ooh, are these blue puyas you got here?!"

"Yeah, actually had to go out to Chile to find these bad boys." Theresa replied. "How do you know about these?"

"I take horticulture classes with Peridot. It comes with the territory." TZ answered while watering the blue puyas, noticing some jade vines hanging nearby. "And those have got to be jade vines! You're quite the explorer, aren't you?"

"Thanks for noticing, sport!" Theresa accepted the compliment with a smile. "I'm a real Poison Ivy here. Not the plant, in case you're wondering."

"Thank the stars." Teal began laughing at Theresa's declaration, but despite her reverie, she knew at some point she needed to ask the master she's had since yesterday about her motives.

--

Though Teal had fun spending time with Theresa and doing chores together, there had to come to a point where she needed to put her foot down and demand some real Krav Maga training, which came in the form of being told to take out the garbage.

"Wait, you want me to throw out HOW MUCH?!" Teal yelled as she gazed upon the massive amounts of trash piled up before her and Theresa.

"Come on, Teal, you Gems are strong; you can take it!" Theresa replied, unaware that it was time for Teal to stop playing along and say her peace.

"Okay, I think I've just about had enough time before I wanted to ask this." Teal declared as she turned to Theresa. "Are you sure this is real Krav Maga training, or are you just forcing me to do all your chores for you?"

"Took you long enough to ask that, huh?" Theresa frowned with a cross of her arms. "Well, to be honest, yeah. I was training you this whole time, but I also needed someone to do all the heavy lifting since I gave the staff time off for a bit and somebody had to fill in. And coincidentally, you were just the one to do it!"

"So all this time, I was never training to fire giant lasers from my hands, stretch my body like rubber, summon a ghost to do my fighting for me, turn into a living weapon, and all that cool anime stuff?" Teal asked, utterly disappointed by the answer she got when Theresa put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"You still think martial arts is all cool anime stuff?" Theresa wondered soothingly. "It's adorable how people keep thinking everything they see on TV is real. But no, martial arts is more about learning to fight back, feeling more confident in yourself, and gaining some self-discipline too." She then started to get a little nostalgic. "In fact, you kinda remind me of me when I first started training."

"Ooh, are you going to tell me a backstory?!" Teal asked excitedly.

"You bet, and it's a long and awesome story too." Theresa responded as she began to tell her tale. "Got any gum? Anyways, it all started when I was a rowdy college kid a few decades ago."

--

Many years ago, during the 1990s, future vice president Theresa Maxwell was a spunky, tomboyish college student from Empire City studying at Empire State University who decided to travel abroad for the first semester of her senior year. She chose to study in Israel for her political science major and lived with a friendly nuclear Jewish family during her time there, but a trip to the market would soon change Maxwell's life forever.

"Thank you for your time, miss." A shopkeeper thanked Theresa as she walked away with some bread she had purchased from him.

"You're welcome!" the young college girl responded as she moved her way through tons of shopping Jews and Muslims crowded around her, restricting her free range of movement. "Hey, uh, can you all please move out of the way? I have to get home to my host family." Just then, however, she saw a pack of thugs menacing an old man nearby, and she felt it necessary to stand up for the senior citizen. "Hey, get away from him, you guys! You should respect your elders!"

"Hey, who gave you the right to boss us around, white girl?!" the leader of a bunch of snobby tourists yelled at Theresa. "I mean, it's not like you're the president, and it's now illegal for us to ask for directions!"

"Actually, I'm majoring in political science, so maybe I could become president." The future vice president smirked. "And I don't care if you were just asking for directions; there's no need to gang up on the elderly like that!"

The leader of the muggers smirked. "Okay, you asked for it." He snapped his fingers, cuing his two cronies to start ganging up on the college student, who had now just realized she had made a huge mistake.

"Uh, I surrender?" Theresa squeaked and pretended to wave a white flag before the two muggers started beating her up, giving the girl no chance to try and fight back.

"Wait, leave her alone!" the old man exclaimed before the leading tourist stopped him.

"We only wanted to ask for directions to the nearest church!" the tourist yelled at the geezer. "This all could've been avoided if you just listened to us!"

"Okay, it's down the street, and to your right, just let her go!" the old man hurriedly exclaimed, and with another snap of the tourist's fingers, his two cronies stopped torturing Theresa.

"Thank you for your time, good sir." The lead tourist grinned as he and his followers left the old man and the unconscious Theresa behind. "Friggin' foreigners."

"Oy gevalt, tourists." The old man shook his head in disgust before looking down at the comatose political science major at his feet. "Come, young lady, you need to rest." Scooping the girl in his arms, the elder carried her away from the market back to his home.

--

"Mmm, Day of Unity, Raine, human junk." Theresa muttered about an hour later as she rolled around before jolting awake. "Whoa, girls, you would not believe the dream I had!" she exclaimed like she was talking to her dormmates back in America. "I was a witch in this hellhole of an alternate dimension with a human apprentice, a bratty little demon son, and a crush on this cute band geek; I had a sister who cursed me to turn into a monster, and this creepy fascist Puritan wanted to kill us all!" As Theresa regained consciousness, she realized she wasn't in her dorm room with her three female roommates anymore. "Wait, this isn't Empire State."

"Hey you, you're finally awake." The old man from earlier said as he made his guest a light meal to recuperate with. "First of all, thank you for trying to help me out against those tourists. Americans, am I right?" Theresa just glared at him. "Oh, my mistake. And second, welcome to my home. What's your name, my dear?"

"Theresa Maxwell." Theresa introduced herself as she got off the bed the old man had placed her unconscious body on and received her meal. "I'm an Empire State University student studying political science and visiting here for the semester. I got three roommates back in the USA waiting for me named Carolyn, Victoria, and Lilith. What's your name, stranger?"

"My name is of no importance, Theresa." The old man answered. "But if you want, you can call me Dan."

"Okay, Dan." Theresa responded as she sat down to eat. "Why did you save me back there? I mean, I'm just as basic a college girl as you can get."

"Because regardless of your status, I can see you have a good heart and a desire to protect others." Dan responded while tracing a heart shape on Theresa's chest. "However, you can sometimes get in over your head and get yourself into trouble. However, some say that the path to peace begins with a friendly ear. You said you're studying political science, right? Do you intend to use that knowledge to help the less fortunate?"

"You bet I do!" Theresa exclaimed while slamming her hands on the table. "I dream of working for the government not because I'm some power-hungry lunatic who'll make the world worse than it already is, but because I want to make people feel good. And seeing everyone feel good just makes me feel good too!"

"There's that good heart I noticed." Dan beamed warmly. "Perhaps I can help you learn how to defend others and especially yourself better. Have you ever heard of Krav Maga?"

"What is that, some kind of weapon?" Theresa asked curiously.

"No, it is a form of martial art that I learned from my days in the Suez Crisis." Dan explained. "It is all about being aggressive, efficient, and above all else, being the last one standing. Or as I put it, strike first, strike hard, no mercy."

"Hey, just like in that movie!" Theresa's eyes lit up in awe upon hearing of Krav Maga for the first time. "You know, you're starting to remind me of that handyman guy."

"Is that so?" Dan smirked as he got up. "Well, let me show you how that handyman pales compared to me." He suddenly leaped into the air and dove down to grab Theresa by the neck, forcing her into a chokehold. "This is exactly what I spoke of! Strike first, strike hard, no mercy!"

"I see your point!" Theresa gasped for air while trying to free herself from the old master's grasp. "So, you gonna train me or what?!"

"Of course." Dan smiled and finally let his new student go.

For the remainder of Theresa's semester in Israel, she balanced her studying and spending time with her host family with rigorous Krav Maga training under Master Dan. He had set some decently high expectations for his new pupil. Theresa worked diligently to meet those expectations, but no matter how much she tried, there were many obstacles that she kept stumbling over.

"Theresa, quit laying around and get back to work!" Dan yelled and whapped Theresa with a stick. "I swear, I expected better from you, young lady!"

"I'm sorry, sir, I expected better of myself as well!" Theresa replied with a nervous bow. "It's just so draining to try being perfect all the time, but I can't stop making mistakes."

"Then make as many mistakes as you'd like." Dan advised. "For they are opportunities to learn. For example, you keep making the mistake of slacking off, yet that could also be a lesson about learning to be attentive to your surroundings."

That day, Theresa took those words to heart for the rest of her training with Dan, using them to master her reflexes and timing when it comes to disarming opponents at the flick of the wrist. However, like most things, her training had to come to an end when the semester ended, and she had to return to the States.

--

"Goodbye, Mr. and Mrs. Apu. Thank you for taking me in." Theresa began saying goodbye to her host family at the airport. "Goodbye, Iman and Kam. You were like the little brother and sister I never had."

"Uh, Theresa, I think there's someone else here to see you." Mr. Apu said as he noticed Master Dan approaching Theresa.

"He's standing right behind me, right?" Theresa asked rhetorically.

"Actually, I'm right next to you." Dan chuckled sneakily as he made Theresa jump in surprise. "Though it's a shame our time ran short, and you have to return to America, I will always remember the time we spent together, my girl. Good luck with your major, and be sure to remember me when you become president or something."

"Actually, I'm thinking more vice president, but yeah, me too." Theresa smiled sweetly as she gave her Krav Maga master one last hug goodbye. "Man, I can't wait to tell the girls back home about my time here!"

"Oh, and one more thing." Dan said before he reached behind his back and presented his student with a yellow Krav Maga belt. "For you, as a reminder of how far you've come. Maybe someday you can even become a black belt."

"You can bet on that." Theresa snorted as she stashed the belt in her backpack before remembering the time. "Oh, cheese and crackers, my flight's almost ready to take off! Gotta run!" She immediately raced off to catch her flight in time, hurriedly waving goodbye to her Israelian friends as she ran.

--

"Okay, this is a pretty nice story, but what does this have to do with my training?" Teal asked as Theresa finished her story.

"Well, to be frank, I just felt like telling that story, hoping I'd pass old Dan's lessons onto someone else." Theresa proclaimed. "But my point stands. I was a lot like you when I started my training. I thought I could talk big when I just got in way over my head. Maybe after hearing all that, we could start some real training."

"Finally!" Teal cheered. "Hey, can we do a few rounds on the trash first since we still have that to do?"

"Sure, go ahead." Theresa agreed, and the two got into a fighting stance to take on the massive amounts of trash together. It was here where Teal got the proper Krav Maga training she wanted all along, utilizing what she did in the chores Theresa made her do and mixing them with what Theresa was teaching her now. Before Teal knew it, she felt like she was ready to face Jasper in an epic rematch.

--

"You feel ready for this, Teal?" Theresa asked Teal Zircon as the two were driven back to Little Homeworld in a presidential limousine. "You sure you don't wanna go back and do a few more warmups?"

"No, I'm ready. No need to worry so much." Teal answered resolutely as the limo got closer to Little Homeworld. "All I need is all you've trained me to do and my drive to win."

"Miss Maxwell, we have arrived." The driver announced as Teal looked around the car windows to discover numerous Gems gathering around the vehicle in awe. "And Miss Zircon, happy fighting."

"Well, this is it." Teal smiled at her master as she prepared to get out of the car. "Wish me luck."

"You got this, sweetheart." Theresa smiled back as Teal stepped out of the limo and immediately made herself known.

"JASPER! I AM HERE!" Teal roared for her rival, taking the crowd aback. "JASPER, FACE ME!"

"Is that Teal?" Pearl whispered to the other Crystal Gems. "What has she been up to with Theresa?"

"I like this new Teal!" Amethyst exclaimed in delight.

"Hopefully, this won't end up like last time." Garnet responded.

"Jasper, do you fear me?!" Teal kept asking Jasper to show herself, but she still got no answer.

"Is Jasper keeping us waiting for dramatic effect, or is she just not going to show up?" Lapis wondered as the Gems got more and more impatient.

"Come on! Somebody throw a punch already!" Peridot yelled before they noticed a shadow flying overhead.

"Hey, is that-" Bismuth began when White Topaz cut her off.

"It is!" White Topaz exclaimed before Jasper landed on the ground, creating a small crater beneath her feet.

"I am here!" Jasper boomed as she prepared for her long-awaited rematch. "Took you long enough to come crawling back. And I hear you got a little training in too."

"Just like you wanted, you big orange Amazon." Teal responded while clenching her fists and putting up her dukes. "It's clobbering time!"

"Now we're talking." Jasper beckoned Teal to come and get her as the epic showdown began.

"Round one, begin!" Theresa's driver yelled to commence the battle. Teal made the first move, pouncing straight at Jasper and clawing at her face. Jasper retaliated by snatching Teal by the waist and smashing her to the ground, surprising their audience.

"Whoa, right off the bat, neither of them is showing a shred of mercy!" Amethyst commentated on the match. "But it looks like Teal might have a bit of an edge on her!"

"Goongala, goongala!" Teal chanted as she got up and pulled on Jasper's hair before spinning her around. "GOONGALA!" She then threw Jasper into the air, causing the quartz to crash into the whirly-bird tower, but Jasper managed to bounce back and tackle Teal to the ground, sealing her victory.

"Round one, Jasper wins!" the driver yelled. "Now, round two! Begin!"

"Don't get too cocky!" Teal declared before she gave Jasper a mean headbutt that rendered her temporarily incapacitated, allowing the Zircon enough time to regain her bearings as Jasper shook her head. "Come at me, bro!"

"I have to admit; we certainly are evenly matched." Jasper grimaced. "But you just trained with a human for only a day. I, on the other hand, have been fighting since the day I was created, and I've forever known what you fail to understand! STRENGTH ALWAYS PREVAILS!"

"Teal, look out!" Theresa yelled for Teal, but she was too late. Jasper summoned her crash helmet and rammed straight into the Zircon from behind. One wrong move, and Teal would've been poofed on the spot. Instead, Jasper merely smashed her to the ground again.

"Round two, Jasper wins!" the driver yelled again. "Final round, begin!"

"So, are you ready to give up yet, TZ?" Jasper growled while grabbing Teal by her collar. "Or do you still have that drive to win, as you call it?" Teal did not answer, instead wearily looking towards the worried Theresa Maxwell and giving her a soft grin. "WIPE THAT GRIN OFF YOUR FACE!"

"Someone, play my song." Teal croaked out a request. White Topaz's eyebrows perked up, and she immediately pulled out her phone, somehow knowing just which song the Zircon her girlfriend was fighting wanted.

"DRIVE TO WIN! DRIVE TO WIN!" the phone began blaring. "THE ONLY THING IN MY HEAD IS THE DRIVE TO WIN!"

"Wait, is that-" Jasper wondered before she was grabbed by the neck, and her face soon wiped the ground.

"Wax on, wax off!" Teal yelled as the song continued. "Wash cycle!" She then hoisted Jasper into the air and started spinning her in the air.

"I have been training all my life, yes, all my life! All that time I spent was for the purpose to FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!" the phone kept singing as Teal started jabbing Jasper in the eyes while crying out "POOL BOY!"

"Where did this come from?!" Jasper yelled at the sheer ridiculousness of the names for Teal's moves as she was chopped in the face, followed by being stomped in the back.

"She's really learned." Theresa beamed with pride as Teal went for the finishing blow.

"If you want power, say it with me now! All you gotta do is eat RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT! Always have a good meal three times a day, that will give you the DRIVE TO WIN!" The song finished just as Teal tossed Jasper into the air, grabbed her mid-descent, and spun around while slamming Jasper facefirst into the ground.

"ROUND THREE, TEAL ZIRCON WINS!" the driver declared, sealing Teal's victory as the other Gems celebrated their friend's victory.

"I have to admit; you really were unpredictable in that last round." Jasper coughed while getting up and brushing herself clean. "Maybe you are a good fighter after all."

"Hey, you weren't so bad yourself, y'know." Teal responded as the two bowed with respect to each other.

"Hm, for someone so simple-minded, she's quite strong and charismatic." Black Rutile mused to herself as she blended in with the jubilant Gems. "That Zircon could be very useful to have on my side." Without anyone else noticing, Black Rutile seemingly vanished into thin air.

--

Later that day, as the celebrations finally ended and everyone returned to their regular routines, it was time for Theresa to leave her student behind so she could return to Washington. "I have to admit, kid, you really took me by surprise there."

"You said it." Jasper smirked at the vice president. "Who knew humans could be so skilled?"

"It was very nice of you to take Teal in so she can learn to defend herself better." Garnet thanked Theresa. "While she was pretty capable on the battlefield in the Rebellion, it was mostly thanks to her illusions that she was able to keep herself from getting shattered."

"Wait, illusions?" Theresa asked. "How come I never knew about that? And how is that possible?"

"Oh, it's just something I can use thanks to this bracelet I keep hidden under my sleeve." Teal stated as she pulled back her sleeve to reveal a dark green-colored bracelet with a blue gem decorating it. "Wanna see what it can do?" With a press on the gem, Teal conjured up a horse head that landed in Theresa's hands. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"Yeah, that's great." Theresa nervously said as she dropped the fake horse head and spread her arms out for a hug. "You really made me proud. Now, how about a hug, sweetie?" Teal immediately took up the offer, and the two women squeezed each other tight for what felt like ages for them.

"Aw, she's made a new friend." Pearl cooed at the adorable sight before the two let go, and Theresa prepared to return to the limo, but one thing was still missing.

"HEY!" Amethyst yelled at Theresa from behind, making the vice president turn around to face the little purple Gem. "You still owe me a little one-on-one!"

"Well, I'm a woman of my word." Theresa smirked at Amethyst as she took off her suit jacket and took a fighting stance. "Just gotta warn you, these designer heels aren't just made for walking!"

"Oh, it is on!" Amethyst replied as she shapeshifted into a stereotypical martial artist with a sleeveless black gi, a white headband, and a matching-colored belt. "Don't expect a flawless victory for you!"

"You're in for a real fatality yourself." Theresa smiled as the two women charged at each other, ready for a fight.

--

I think this might be my favorite chapter of Little Homeworld Life to write yet. Being able to write more of Teal Zircon is one thing, but giving her a wholesome student-teacher bond with the vice-president of all people is another! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as I did, because next time, I'm pretty sure we can get much higher. And by higher, I mean my spin on human Gems. See you later!

[jelloapocalypse]

Ike is as gay as the day is long and everyone who's played Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn knows it.

ORIGINAL COMIC: https://mahnati.tumblr.com/post/155743845464/this-is-pretty-much-the-sum-of-99-of-their

Based on this Vine: https://vine.co/v/ijVz01Vn066

---

VOICES:

Aimee - Michaela A. Laws (http://thebunnyofevil.tumblr.com/)

Ike - Brendan Blaber (Me)

---

MUSIC:

"Ultralounge" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

[unafreyd]

( ahn heeyeon, cis female, she/her, fire emblem ) * &. i know it must be scary for you, micaiah, after not surviving the takeover. to turn into someone like michaela yoo, a twenty-four year-old intern at city hall, right here in castle town. just remember that you are as loyal as you are self-sacrificing, and to be wary, be safe, be true to who you are :  heroic through and through.

okay... so first off, disclaimer: it has been a hot minute since i last played radiant dawn

and while i have written micaiah before,,, it was for a crack fe group

sO bear with me as i get into the swing of things with her

anyway

some spoilers for, well, mostly FE10 but i suppose there’s some for FE9 !!

micaiah is one of the branded; part beorc (human, basically) and part laguz (animal/human, shifter types)

and let’s just say there’s a reason FE9 was kinda nicknamed “path of furry racism”

anyway

she has a literal brand (... hence the name branded) on the back of her right hand

her (some amount of greats) grandfather was a heron laguz

which means she’s got this cool power known as sacrifice... which basically means she can give some of her own health to heal others

she’s a resident of the country daein, and she is loyal to them to a fault

it’s honestly.... kinda actually scary just how loyal to daein she is

but it’s mostly because she cares about the people and residents so much???

anyway

she’s got a pet bird named yune

except yune is actually half of the goddess ashunera

yune is the goddess of chaos, while her other half, ashera, is the goddess of order

yune ends up possessing micaiah at one point and it’s Great

here in castle town she’s known as michaela yoo

she’s an intern at the city hall, but she also occasionally moonlights as a fortune teller

she’s still get her brand on the back of her hand, but as far as her memories are concerned, it’s just a tattoo she got when she turned 18

she’s friendly to most everyone, though she does have the tendency to hold everyone at arm’s length until she actually gets to know them

this was horribly ramble-y, i’m sorry to anyone that read through all of it

in my defense it’s almost midnight and i’m usually asleep by like 8 or 9pm so i’m real tired

also @ nintendo let micaiah join the ssb roster you Cowards

[drain-purge-purify]

Wish we had more consensual restraining going on...

Sirris' shop shibari demonstration event when, or something

[eucataestrophe]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

I was tagged by the lovely @iamactuallyabat! Thank you!

1. Are you named for anyone?

Yes!! This is one of my favorite things to be asked. I was named after a tv character, Dr. Michaela Quinn, Medicine Woman. It was one of her favorite shows and she watched each new episode each week. She loved the name so much that she gave it to me. Even now, when reruns of the show come on, she excitedly points it out and let's it play, reminding me of where my name came from.

2. When was the last time you cried?

A week or so back? I think. It was from lack of sleep as well as frustration (which is usually why I cry lol).

3. Do you have any kids?

No! But I've taken care of my fair share of them.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yes! I'm usually in the business of trying to make myself and others laugh, so I run around telling a stupid number of jokes to amuse myself. Sarcasm is good for that!

5. What's the first thing you notice about someone?

Their aura? Like the vibe they give off. Are they happy? Do they seem angry? Do they seem annoyed? What's wrong?

And then usually I notice their eyes, and then their general appearance.

6. What's your eye color?

Gray blue!

7. Scary movie, or happy ending?

I can't handle scary movies--it leaves me with an anxious feeling that doesn't leave for 3-4 days. So I much prefer happy endings!

8. Any special talents?

I don't know that this would be considered a talent, but I'm good at typical "girl" stuff (manicures, pedicures, makeup, hair styling, skin care, etc.) Animals seem to take to me and trust me, and I can train them pretty well. They always seem to be crossing my path or showing up at my house needing help (just last week there was a kitten stuck in a broken off tree). I seem to have a knack for baking, which is something I've been trying to explore more.

9. Where were you born?

Deep South.

10. What are your hobbies?

Reading (I'm trying to read as much as possible this year), baking, listening to music, learning languages (I'm SO slacking on this rn), writing fiction, and general "internet" hobbies.

11. Do you have any pets?

Yes! One dog, a beautiful baby boy named Rufus. I've mentioned him a few times here. He's an absolute doll baby at 14, and I adore him more as time goes on. He's so calm and collected and doesn't really want for anything outside of a walk each day (anywhere from 1-3 miles) and regular petting sessions. He's so sweet and gentle, and genuinely just one of the most well behaved dogs I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.

12. What sports do/have you played?

I was cheerleader in school. Outside of that I've never been very sporty lol!

13. How tall are you?

6ft even!

14. Favorite subject in school?

Probably writing or animal science. I really enjoyed those.

15. Dream job?

Ideally, I'd like a homestead, actually. I love animals and farming, and always have. When I was a child I genuinely wanted to be a veterinarian with a barn full of animals. In this way, I'd be living out a childhood dream of mine by becoming a homesteader. I'd like to foster dogs/cats as well, but that's more of a side venture to get into once things are going smoothly enough.

I tag: @radiant-jungkook | @yashiro-isanas | @ambermayjune | @sunburn87 | and anyone else that wants to this! ♡

[kakivino]

Istine 2019 Chianti Classico Vigna Cavarchione

First taste of Chianti Classico's wine press darling. Killer perfume is quite something. Behold glorious red fruit purity, high-toned florality and coolish minerality unfold on a creamy, supple tapestry of a palate given shape by tensile frame, and lift by illuminating Gaiole acidity, with sublime sapidity to top it all off. In three words: fragrant, radiant, elegant. A more 'bare', provocative sangiovese which speaks of tipicità and terroir louder than many a Gran Selezione. Believe the hype. — ★★★★

Appellation: Chianti Classico Region: Chianti, Toscana, Italy Subzone: Gaiole Cépage: 100% Sangiovese Abv: 14% Production: 3,000 Élevage: 12 months in 20-30hl Slavonian oak casks, 12 in bottle Distributor: Vintry

Critic Reviews:

The 2019 Chianti Classico Vigna Cavarchione is, along with the Riserva, one of the most powerful of the Chianti Classicos in this range. A wine of breadth and dimension, the Cavarchione is driven by bright acids and a whole range of earthy, savory flavors. Game, wild herbs, tobacco, incense and plum all develop in the glass. The tannins need time to soften, naturally, but there is a ton to explore here. Drink: 2027-2044. Antonio Galloni (Vinous, 09/2021) 95

New leather, forest floor and pipe tobacco aromas mingle with notes of wild mint on this delicious red. Firmly structured and elegant, the linear, savory palate features juicy Morello cherry, crushed raspberry and licorice set against taut, refined tannins. Drink 2023–2031. Kerin O'Keefe (Wine Enthusiast, 05/2022) 95

The only one of Istine’s single-vineyard bottlings that hails from outside Radda, Vigna Cavarchione is located in the neighbouring township of Gaiole. It is east- to southeast-facing on predominantly Galestro soil at 420 metres. The 2019 has a sweet/savoury personality with a firm backbone. Dark plum and wild strawberry meet balsamic herb nuances. It is expansive and mouth-filling, though not heavy. Lively acidity races though it and a distinct saline twist cleanses the palate. A lengthy finale of violet and tobacco begs another sip. Drinking Window: 2024-2036. Michaela Morris (Decanter, 03/2022) 96

[seraphmicaela]

A young woman with crimson red hair dressed in what might be considered something like a fancy maid uniform would show up with some sort of package in her arms.

"Delivery for a... Michaela?" She'd ask, having already presented some sort of form for the customer to sign that they had received the delivery.

An initial moment of confusion would wash over the face of the former Seraph upon hearing that she had a delivery. However, as her mind began to drift she recalled putting in for some fabrics to be brought over so that the Elven clothes makers could have some fresh material outside from Enrika.

"Oh! Thank you, I've been waiting for this for a bit now. I know the seamstresses will be eager to use these materials."

She'd speak, signing her name with a warm, radiant smile.

"I hope the road treated you nicely? Things have been getting a bit better nowadays, for travelers and couriers like yourself."

[rabbittstewcomics]

Episode 309

October solicits

Comic Reviews:

Blue and Gold 1 by Dan Jurgens, Ryan Sook

Shazam 1 by Tim Sheridan, Clayton Henry, Marcelo Maiolo

Superman and the Authority 1 by Grant Morrison, Mikel Janin, Jordie Bellaire

Superman: Red and Blue 5 by Judd Winick, Ibrahim Moustafa, G. Willow Wilson, Valentine De Landro, Joshua Williamson, Chris Sprouse, Karl Story, Hi-Fi, Mark Buckingham, Lee Loughridge, Daniel Warren Johnson

Extreme Carnage: Phage by Steve Orlando, Gerardo Sandoval, Victor Nava, Chris Sotomayor

Moon Knight 1 by Jed MacKay, Alessandro Cappuccio, Rachelle Rosenberg

Thor Annual by Aaron Kuder, Cam Smith, Chris O'Halloran

Star Wars: War of the Bounty Hunters: Jabba the Hutt 1 by Justina Ireland, Ibraim Roberson, Luca Pizzari, Edgar Delgado, Giada Marchisio

M.O.M.: Mother of Madness 1 by Emilia Clarke, Marguerite Bennett, Leila Leiz

Syphon 1 by Mohsen Ashraf, Patrick Meaney, Jeff Edwards, John Kalisz

Mawrth Valliis by EPHK

Bermuda 1 by John Layman, Nick Bradshaw, Len O'Grady

Dejah Thoris vs. John Carter of Mars 1 by Dan Abnett, Alessandro Miracolo, Dearbhla Kelly

Tales From Harrow County: The Fair Folk 1 by Cullen Bunn, Emily Schnall, Tyler Crook

Dark Blood 1 by Latoya Morgan, Walt Barna, A.H.G.

Everyone is Tulip by Nicole Goux, Dave Baker, Ellie Hall

One Line by Ray Fawkes

99 Cent

Night Jackal by Heath Michaels, Philip Renne, Falk Hansel

Additional Reviews: Batman the Adventures Continue vol 1, The Empty Man, Washington Black, Masters of the Universe, Fargo s4, Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans, Schmigadoon, Sexy Beasts, Owl House ep7, Fear Street 1666, How the Best Hunter in the Village Met Her Death by Molly Knox Ostertag

News: Millar's new comic King of Spies, Batgirl casting, Larime Taylor TV series in development, Blade director, Anansi Boys adaptation, All-Nighters comixology series from Zdarsky, Michaela Coel cast in Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina returns, Michael B. Jordan black Superman project, All-Nighters, Remender is a naughty boy, Eisners, Amphibia season 3 release date, Ms. Marvel and Hawkeye confirmed for 2021, odd Legends news, Snyder signs massive deal with Comixology/Dark Horse, Astro City returns to Image

Trailers: Malignant, Nope, Doctor Who series 13, Dexter: New Blood

Ray Asks A Question

Comics Countdown: 

Many Deaths of Laila Starr 4 by Ram V, Filipe Andrade

Black Hammer Reborn 2 by Jeff Lemire, Caitlin Yarsky, Dave Stewart

Superman and the Authority 1 by Grant Morrison, Mikel Janin, Jordie Bellaire

Ascender 17 by Jeff Lemire, Dustin Nguyen

Usagi Yojimbo 21 by Stan Sakai

Undiscovered Country 14 by Scott Snyder, Charles Soule, Giuseppe Camuncoli, Leonardo Marcello Grassi, Matt Wilson

Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow 2 by Tom King, Bilquis Evely, Mat Lopes

Snow Angels Season Two 2 by Jeff Lemire, Jock

Tales From Harrow County: Fair Folk 1 by Cullen Bunn, Emily Schnall, Tyler Crook

Radiant Black 6 by Kyle Higgins, Cherish Chen, Darko Lafuente, Miquel Muerto, Becca Carey

Check out this episode!

[halfwayinlight]

a distraction

Title: A Distraction Rating: PG Notes: because I’ve been rewatching Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman on amazon. Set somewhere in late season 1, early season 2. I both love and am driven crazy by these two.

Dr. Michaela Quinn is a distraction. She’s infuriating. A force of nature. She’s a fire that burns fast, taking in everything in her wake. Head-strong. And Sully’s never met any woman with half so many opinions and ideas. It’s not that he minds opinions. More that she’s never quiet about hers. Worse when she’s right, flaring with indignation. Worst of all when she’s wrong, a backdraft of outrage.

She turns up everywhere, at least everywhere in town. He’s never been more grateful for the wilderness because it’s the only place he can go and feel like he knows his own thoughts. The town has always been so different from the Cheyenne camp—two extremes he travels between. But she’s making the lines smudge, determined to be anywhere and everywhere at once.

Dr. Mike is the most improperly improper lady that walks the earth. She’s Boston, ridiculous layers of petticoats and dresses, science and logic. And she moved across the country unaccompanied, braving a wild man’s frontier. She learned to ride long before he ever did. She’s a single mother. Sully can’t drag himself away, and it was all he could do at the mining operation not to look as she pulled on her things. She has the whitest skin he’s seen. And the smallest hands on a woman. He’s had to stop himself many times from taking either of those thoughts too far.

She smells good, too. Those weeks he spent in her bed were sheer torture—not only days and nights wondering if his legs would ever work again, but the smell of her around him. Something more than soap and warm Colorado sunshine. They’ve huddled for warmth under the lean-to all night and done dozens of things that would scandalize polite Boston society.

Her hair still fascinates him. It’s so long and such a rich color. It’s as unpredictable as herself—and often a clue to how tiring or exhausting her day has been. Sully knows which locks framing her face will come loose from her braid first. Which ones will stay until she lets the whole thing down. He’s wondered how long it would take to brush all the tangles from it. And he remembers exactly how soft it feels under his rough fingers.

His favorite, though, is her smile. Warm and radiant toward the children, especially Brian. He can understand that-- the boy has a gift, and it’s impossible not to love him. But her smile… Sully happiest moments these days are when she turns it on him. Those secret grins when they share a private thought, the one look and smile saying more than a conversation ever could. He’s never known friendship with a woman, not like this. And her heart is in her mismatched eyes that turns his way more than ever these days.

He wonders if she knows what she’s saying.

Or when he might be ready to show it freely back to her.