#michael i don't think 'do it you won't' is a normal response here but okay

[bravevolunteer]

@damagecompilation asked: even if it's handcuffed, i'm leaving here with you. from jeremy // the tortured poets department

"IS THAT your way of telling me to quit?" Michael snorts, almost lighthearted if it weren't for the stress and exhaustion clinging to the edges of his laughter. He isn't blind enough to his own choices to not pick up on how insane it is to return night after night, job after job... putting his life in danger in the name of one day hopefully bringing it all to the ground. But, for lack of a better way to describe it, Michael never cared much for his own life, and this is as good of a use for it as he can find. Besides, he isn't the only one trapped here.

"In case you forgot, we're both working the same dead-end shithole job here." Still, for as much as Michael talks about hating it, his constant reluctance to leave is... beyond that of anyone here simply to make ends meet. "I'm just trying to figure something out-" ( Investigating where he shouldn't! ) "-But if you wanna try and find some handcuffs to drag me out of here in, be my guest."

[mournersandfunerals]

Alice Oseman's Solitaire is a very important book and here's why:

A lot of the time when mental health is being depicted in fiction, it centres so much around the person struggling with it. Which, of course, makes sense. It's important to show what people go through when they suffer from mental illnesses, and it helps others in similar situations know that they're not alone in dealing with it. But it isn't very often you see something from the perspective of a friend or a relative and what they go through when someone they care about is struggling. Solitaire is a book that's so important for this specific reason.

Here, you have Tori. A teenage girl who spends 50% of her time worried about her brother, Charlie, and the other 50% of her time trying to convince herself that she isn't worried about him. She puts so much pressure on herself to keep everyone's heads above water that she doesn't realise that she, herself, is starting to drown. Their parents don't know how to handle everything that's going on with their son, so they act like everything is fine, relying on Tori to be the problem-free "normal" one. That's a lot of pressure to put on your 16/17 year old daughter. Tori takes on the responsibility of keeping her family happy and together, which ends up having the opposite effect and drives them further away from each other. So now you have two siblings that are so near but not within reaching distance when they need each other the most.

Which leads us on to the themes of guilt within the book. This is something that is so well executed and hard-hitting and absolutely crucial.

Tori is someone who feels a lot of guilt and regret when it comes to what Charlie is going through. She feels partially responsible for everything that happened to him. It's not her fault in the slightest, but when someone close to you is hurting and struggling, and you notice but don't do anything because you don't know how, it takes its toll. A lot of the pressure that Tori's under comes from the crippling guilt that she's trying to hold in. It manifests itself into something entirely different. She suffers with anxiety, she has negative thoughts, she hyperfixates entirely on solving the Solitaire mystery so she has something to do while her family is barely holding it together. She spirals.

And what's super interesting about this is how Charlie has a similar reaction at the end when he eventually comes to terms with the fact that his sister isn't okay, either. He mentions how he noticed but didn't do anything, and he feels awful about it. The Spring siblings have a remarkable way of avoiding what's right in front of them because who in the world would want to admit that their brother or sister is the opposite of okay?

And to add to this, I think we really need to note the importance of Michael Holden within this entire situation as well.

Michael is there for Tori consistently. He shows up when she doesn't even realise she needs him, he comes back whenever she pushes him away, and it's almost as though he's her only form of stability within the chaos. And that's exactly what she needs. She doesn't know how to handle what she's feeling about her family so she's pushed everyone else away. She needs someone.

Because it's so easy to ignore the state of your own mental health when someone you love is going through hell. So now we have Michael, a character who essentially says, "I'm here. Let me worry and look after you, while you unwittingly take on the weight of the world." Of course, Michael has problems of his own but if he and Tori can share their burdens between the two of them, maybe the weight of all of it won't feel so heavy.

Alice Oseman created something so underrated and special with Solitaire. It tackles things that can be difficult to talk about but need talking about. It reminds you that it's okay to not be okay. You shouldn't feel bad about feeling bad. And just because someone you love is struggling, it doesn't mean that you're entirely responsible for them. It doesn't mean that you're not allowed to grieve and be upset about it. And it doesn't mean that you're not allowed to struggle through your own issues either. But it does mean that you can find your own support system and let them pull you out of the metaphorical and, I guess in this instance, literal fire that's burning around you.

[yourmidnightlover]

i would never leave you

Summary- when reader gets injured on a case, spencer stays with her to take care of her, even if he already had plans.

TW: talk about case, undercover!fem!reader, kissing, a little cursing, reader gets stabbed

WC- 4,998

masterlist

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the team was so close to catching the unsub. all they needed you to do was go undercover, act interested in him, and catch him in the act.

so there you were getting ready in the bathroom at the bau. the girls had chosen a flowy strapless black dress that went below your knee, some black pumps, and a gold necklace for you to wear.

you threw the dress on, admiring the amount of tasteful cleavage it displayed, followed by the shoes and necklace.

you applied some red lipstick and added some more mascara before you ran your fingers through the waves in your hair, trying to give it a bit more volume before greeting the team.

you had been insecure in the past, a result of some standard high school bullies, but you had gotten through it with the help of your parents. they re-educated you on what confidence meant and where it came from.

you had only gotten insecure every once in a while, normally when all the attention was on you.

so when you entered the conference room with your clothes in hand and all eyes were on you, you felt yourself close up from the stares.

"umm... too much?" you questioned, grabbing the blazer you were wearing and throwing it on over your shoulders.

you noticed spencer looking at you with his brows raised, not saying anything but with his mouth slightly agape as he looked at morgan, who was also entranced by your new appearance, and back at you.

"no, y/n," jj consoled. "you look great, sweetie," she said as she ran her hands up and down your arms comfortingly before stepping back after taking your clothes, and blazer, from you.

"y/n..." morgan trailed on, "who knew you were hiding that underneath those pantsuits, mama," he smirked.

"oh, don't mama me, derek," you chastised, pointing a finger accusingly at him as he raised his hands at his head in defense.

"you truly look fabulous, y/n. and derek will stop with the comments as of right now," penny scolded him while giving you a smile.

"thank you pen," you said with a grin. "so when can we get this over with? this dress isn't exactly very comfortable," you asked, looking over at hotch for further direction.

"right. so i need everyone to listen to this part because we are all responsible for keeping y/n safe if things go awry," hotch demanded as you all made your way to your seats.

"the unsub will lure you out of the art gallery. there weren't any traces of drugs, so he won't try to routine you. you need to go willingly, that's part of what gets him off. we'll have someone in there with you and keeping an eye on you from a distance," he directed you, to which you nodded your head.

"he's going to most likely take you to his car, it will be a nice one, expensive. he's going to drive you somewhere more secluded, but still in the open and then will attack," hotch clarified, his eyes now scanning across everyone in the room.

"so when you leave the gallery we will follow behind and garcia will be tracking your phone the entire time," he ordered, now looking at garcia.

"we will do the takedown at whatever park he takes you," he made sure you were looking directly at him. "you can back out if you aren't up for it, y/n. just say the word."

"don't be ridiculous, this is the best way to catch him," you assured, shaking your head no. "just don't let me die and i'll be good," you laughed.

"i was just making sure," he grinned. "we should get going now. it's almost time for the gallery to open and he's really punctual," hotch said as he stood up.

you stood up and pulled your dress down a bit since it began to ride up as you were sitting. when you turned around you saw spencer looking at you with a similar expression as earlier.

"y-you look beautiful, y/n," spencer said softly, walking around the table to get closer to you.

"oh, umm. thank you," you smiled kindly at the shaggy haired man.

truth be told, you had a bit of a crush on him for a while now.

his adorably perfect smile, the way he gets so excited when he begins to ramble on about something, his harmonious laugh, his voice as he reads you a book on the plane so you can fall asleep easier, wishing the monsters that pry at your mind away.

okay so maybe it wasn't just a bit of a crush.

you really, really, really liked him.

you would say love, but you've never truly experienced true love. you had nothing to compare this feeling to.

"no problem," he continued to look at you. not in the way derek was looking at you. he was truly looking at you. he saw you. "just... please be careful out there," he bit his lip from the nerves of you being in line of danger.

"i will be. i always am. you know that, spence," you furrowed your brow in confusion from his sudden concern.

"i-i know. it's just that... you've never been undercover with a serial killer before and i j-just don't want you to get hurt," he stuttered.

"you're worried about me?" he nodded.

you placed your hand on his bicep and gently squeezed before pulling him into a hug.

"it's sweet that you're worried. i promise i'll be careful," you whispered in his ear before pulling back, squeezing his arms one more time and walking past him.

spencer watched as you walked out, still feeling beyond anxious as you were literally walking towards danger with each step you took.

he began to think about all the possible outcomes of the night, everything that could go wrong and lead to you getting hurt... or worse.

he walked out of the room once he collected his thoughts, and pushed them aside. he couldn't be distracted right now. he had to make sure you would be safe and okay.

he always wanted you to be okay. he wanted you to have everything you've ever wanted it. in his mind, that's the least you deserved for being... you.

you made sure everyone else was okay after a rough case. you always gave them a hug when they needed one. you let everyone vent to you when they were having a rough time. you let him finish his rants and never told him that 'nobody cares' or rudely change the subject.

you even went to watch movies with him when others would refuse - even though he knew you did that out of pity, he couldn't help but feel special. you would always offer your presence in place of the others. he eventually just started asking you after a while, to which you would happily agree.

but you never asked for anything in return. ever. you were obviously beginning to get stressed from having to manage everyone else's problems atop your own.

he wanted to help you with that. he wants to be the person you talk to about rough things. he wants to be the shoulder your tears can fall on. he wants to be there for you. he wants to be with you.

walking out of the room hotch told him he would be the person undercover inside with morgan, keeping an eye on you as you openly flirted with a hot serial killer.

great.

you slid into the passenger seat of the car after putting a mic on somewhere he wouldn't notice a few minutes before you were joined by spencer and morgan, morgan of course being the driver.

"so, pretty girl, pretty boy and i are gonna be your watchdogs for the night," morgan informed you.

"so hotch, jj, emily, and rossi are in charge of the cars?" you wanted affirmation.

"yup. they're gonna be right outside all night until you leave. when you do, we're going back to this car to follow you as well," spencer finalized, admiring the way your skin was glowing with the street lights beaming down through the windshield.

"right. sounds good to me," you assured them, trying to mask the way the nerves were eating at you.

"hey," morgan reached over and placed a hand on your thigh comfortingly. "we're not gonna let anything happen to you."

"i know," you took a deep breath. "just a little nervous."

"that's to be expected. you're putting your life at risk for the betterment of others, y/n," spencer gushed. "that's extremely admirable of you."

"thank you, spence," you turned around, placed a hand on his knee, and lightly squeezed.

the rest of the drive to the gallery was quiet and comfortable. you managed to get out of your own head and focus on what was about to go down.

you went into the gallery a couple minutes after it opened, wanting the unsub to watch you entering. the guys followed behind you after about 5 minutes.

you clocked the unsub after being in there a few minutes, and began walking over to greet him.

you stood beside him as he was admiring a painting of 'infinity mirror room fireflies on water' by yayoi kusama. he turned to face you with a smirk on his face.

"it's beautiful, isn't it?" you asked, nudging his arm gently as he continued to search your appearance.

"indeed it is," he said, still eyeing your body. you mentally gagged, but externally you giggled, bringing a hand up to your chin to bring attention to your lips.

"this particular painting is supposedly one of her most popular pieces. this one, followed by 'narcissus garden'," you informed him, to which he raised his eyebrows in approval.

"wow. you must know your art, huh?" he asked, you nodded. "smart... i like that," he said as he reached up to move your hair behind your ear. "i'm michael."

"y/n."

spencer was watching the whole time. he couldn't help but wish it was him you were giggling at. he wished he was the one pushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

you were imagining it was him.

"how about we get out of here?" he asked, bringing his hand to cup your face softly. "i know a nice, quiet place we can go."

if it were anyone else, and if you didn't know what he really meant by a 'nice, quiet place," you might've thought it was a sweet sentiment. but he was a literal serial killer.

"yea?" you bit your lip softly. "that sounds great," you agreed before he took your arm in the crook of his, leading you outside.

you turned your head to make sure spencer and morgan were aware of what was happening. they nodded their head as they watched him escort you through the doors.

he had the valley pick up his car and open the door for you.

"such a gentleman," you nodded at him as he gave you a straight-toothed smile.

spencer and morgan ran to the car as they saw you hop in his with him. they were the first ones lined up behind you and michael.

the ride with him was quiet and eerie, probably because you knew what his true intentions were.

meanwhile, spencer and morgan were anticipating your arrival at some undisclosed location. in an attempt to ease their nerves, they tried to talk about another subject.

"sooo... y/n looked nice tonight, huh?" morgan probed.

"i-i'm not discussing this with you!" spencer shouted.

"alright, alright," he took a deep breath, trying to think about what else to talk about. "so are you looking forward to this weekend?" he asked.

"actually, yea. i've been looking. forward to it for weeks now!" spencer shouted, excited this time. "jane goodall doesn't lecture very often, and the fact that he's doing it so close and i somehow managed to get a ticket is astonishing," he gushed.

"wow, you're really excited about this," morgan stated the obvious, to which spencer nodded eagerly.

"i am," he said before noticing michael pulling into a parking lot. "there! turn right there!" spencer pointed as morgan began to take the turn.

michael escorted you out of the car, walking hand in hand. he lead to you a bench, and you knew that was where he was planning his attack. you felt your heartbeat pick up as he reached into his coat pocket and pulled something out.

spencer and morgan ran up to where you two were sitting right before he revealed that he was holding a knife.

"FBI! MICHAEL DAVID PUT YOUR HANDS UP!" morgan demanded, his and spencer's guns raised.

"michael, y/n is not your ex wife. she isn't her," spencer attempted to talk him down.

"i don't care! she needs to die! savannah needs to pay!" michael yelled in frustration as he took you underneath his arm, pressing the knife into the side of your torso.

"let. her. go," spencer demanded.

"NO!!" michael squeezed tighter. "she has to SUFFER!!" he said as he jabbed the knife deep in your side and removed it.

morgan ran over to arrest michael as spencer ran to your side as you began to fall to the ground, calling medics as he caught you in his arms right before you hit the ground.

"hey, hey," spencer calmed you as he moved a piece of hair from your face. "stay with me."

"i-i'm okay," you consoled spencer, holding your hand over his that rested on your face. "he-he took the knife out. apply pr-pressure," you instructed.

"r-right. of course," he said as he moved one of his hands to press on the incision, a wince coming from you as he did so. "i'm s-sorry."

"don't worry ab-about it. ahh!" you groaned as you heard sirens approaching.

"shhh, shhh. i'm here. it's okay. i'm not leaving you," he told you as you moved your free hand to cup his face.

"promise?" you asked meekly.

"i promise. i would never leave you," he said as he leaned into your touch.

they loaded you into the back of the ambulance, to which spencer hopped in with you. he held your hand the entire way to the hospital, only releasing it when they needed to perform cpr after you bled out too much.

they had to give you stitches because of the stabbing, but no major organs were punctured in the process. they made you aware of the trouble you would have when walking or standing for a certain amount of time. they kept you overnight for one day and released you for the weekend.

hotch had given everyone their mandatory two weeks off because of the spur of back to back cases you had gotten and asked anderson to drive you home.

you had never been one to ask for help, and spencer knew that. if anyone truly payed any attention, they would realize that as well.

he knew that you wouldn't want to bother anyone's time off with having to help you through an injury.

he also felt guilty for your injury in the first place.

if he had been able to talk the unsub down then you wouldn't have been hurt. it was his fault you were in pain, and hiding your pain nonetheless.

spencer had also been waiting to hear jane goodall's lecture for so long now... and there was no telling if she would ever lecture again.

you were struggling. far more than you'd want to admit. you could barely get up to get yourself a glass of water, let alone stand in the shower for long enough.

you had learned to lean against the wall for the majority of the time in the shower, and rinsing off as quickly as you could. luckily you put a bar along the wall, you had installed it while sitting down on the floor.

you could barely manage to change into any clothes. you hadn't been wearing a bra since the accident because you just couldn't turn your body at all in order to put one on.

you had finally come to the conclusion you really didn't want to admit.

you needed help.

you had become so desperate and helpless that you had to call someone.

but who should you call?

jj was with will and her kids, morgan with savannah, hotch with jack, penny with kevin, rossi with joy, and you didn't know what spencer was doing.

maybe you could call him?

you dialed his number as you winced from trying to change the bandage on your side.

"spencer reid here," he answered cheerily, already feeling happy from receiving a call from you.

"hey, spence," you answered, already feeling guilty for having to ask so much from him. "wh-what are you doing right now? did you have any plans?" you asked with a shaky, guilt ridden voice.

spencer thought about what this question meant. you wanted to know what he was doing so he could help you. you couldn't go out right now because of your stabbing, so you obviously needed help.

he felt partially guilty for not offering you his help in the first place, but you both knew that you would refuse it the first time he would've offered anyway.

so what, jane goodall was lecturing for possibly the last time ever right near him and he had tickets? you needed help. and you wanted him to help. you wanted him.

"nope. no plans," he lied, much to your relief.

"i need - would you - can..." you took a deep breath, trying to figure out the right words. "i'm sorry to have to ask but... i need help, spence. w-would you mind coming over?" you asked in a reserved manner.

spencer felt his heart swell at the thought of you needing his help. it made him feel wanted, and needed. for such an independent, strong woman to need him he felt as though it was more him that needed to check up on you.

"i wouldn't mind at all," he replied with an apparent grin.

"oh my gosh, you're a life saver. could you stay the weekend? i just... i just really need the help," you admitted with a chuckle to hide the disappointment.

"yea. sure. i can stay the weekend," he agreed happily. "i'll be there in 15 minutes."

he grabbed his go bag and ran to the nearest convenient store to grab some of your favorite snacks.

you popped a pain killer in your mouth in an attempt to ease the pain a bit more while spencer was with you.

he used his spare key to get inside and set the bag of goodies on your living room table.

"y/n?" spencer called out in an attempt to find you.

"hey, spence," you said as you peeked out of the bathroom after putting the painkillers back into your cabinet.

you wobbled out of the bathroom, clutching your side as you took each step. spencer felt horrible watching you in pain while doing something as simple as walking.

"hi. how're you feeling? wait, that's kind of a stupid question considering..." he rolled his eyes at his response as he met you about as soon as you stepped out of the restroom and wrapped your free arm around his shoulder so he could help you finish the trek to your living room.

"i'm feeling better than i was yesterday, which i would definitely consider a success," you feigned a smile.

he knew you were probably dulling down how bad you felt by trying to shed some light on whatever you could. you've always tried to avoid pity as much as you could, reasonably so. he just wished you would be straight forward with him.

"y/n, i know you're trying to downsizing how bad you feel by diverting my attention to something more positive. how are you feeling now," spencer corrected his question as he helped you ease onto the couch.

"shitty. i feel shitty," you said, looking down at your hands and paying around with them. "i just feel bad for dragging you away from your vacation. we rarely get time off, and the one time we do i take up your time. it just doesn't seem fair for you," you explained as spencer sat down beside you.

"you aren't a burden, y/n," spencer consoled as he placed a hand on your lower thigh. "i'm glad you called me to help you. i'm glad that i'm spending my vacation time with you. don't ever think that it isn't fair for me, because i truly enjoy spending time with you. okay?"

you took a deep breath, trying to take in the environment around you. placing your hand atop his, you interlaced your fingers and bent your head down to lean onto his shoulder.

"thank you, spencer," you sighed deeply. "for everything."

"it's no problem at all," he replied as he placed a kiss on the top of your head, leaning his cheek down to rest on your head. "oh! i brought you your favorite snacks!" he exclaimed.

you lifted your head off his shoulder as he jumped up to retrieve the bag of goodies. he sat back down and began unboxing the snacks in an amusing manner.

"ohh, just you wait until i show you the last one!" he said as he pulled out your favorite chips on the coffee table.

he then followed by revealing your favorite drinks, favorite spicy snack, and finally, after a long drumroll, he revealed your favorite candy.

"spencer walter reid, i think i'm in love," you said as you placed a kiss on his cheek.

you didn't realize what you'd said or done until the time had passed. you bit your lip softly after removing your lips from his cheek, noticing the smile and blush growing on his face.

he wanted that kiss to be a couple inches to the left, right in the center of his face, right on his lips. he wanted you to mean it when you told him you were in love with him.

and you wanted that too.

"i knew i was doing good," he smirked.

that comment made his gut twist in a way it hasn't in a long time. he didn't know if you meant what you had said, he's never been good at social ques. but even then, the way you blushed and bit your lip as if you had revealed something told him something different.

"hmm, now that's downsizing it," you countered, a laugh erupting from both yours and spencer's chest. "how about we dig in? i haven't eaten much since the hospital since it's kinda hard to get around."

"how could i refuse?" spencer quipped as he reached for the chips, opening them and placing one in his mouth and offering the bag to you.

you and him sat on the couch and talked for a while. he mentioned the theories of relativity and how einstein even developed it. you were engrossed by his rants and monologues, mesmerized by his tone and voice.

the way his throat would get raspy the longer he had been talking, not even that would stop him from getting his message across. he's always been a determined guy, something you've found attractive in him. he's not really one to give up. he's quite resilient, and makes for really good conversation as well.

you both had even decided to watch a movie. he convinced you to finally watch star trek with him, mostly because you had never seen it and he looked so damn cute trying to convince you to go on that journey with him.

spencer didn't feel like he was even missing out on the lecture when he was with you. in fact, he didn't even remember he had wanted to go. he was too entranced by you to notice.

the hours that went by felt like it went by far too quickly. by the time you looked at the clock, it was half past 11 pm., which also meant it was time for you to take your meds again and change your bandage.

"okay..." you sighed. "it's doctor time now," you grimaced at the thought of having to get up again.

"right!" he stood up from the couch and bent down to help you. "let's get you up," he said as he wrapped your arm around his shoulder and his underneath your armpit, wanting to avoid the incision.

you were able to smell his aroma, the warmth his scent provided to you, the comfort it ensued, the distraction it so graciously offered from the pain that wreaked havoc on your mind. it transported you to a place where you were too preoccupied by the smell of coffee and burnt vanilla to notice the pain even if it was just for a few minutes.

he helped you sit on your bathroom counter as he got your meds and the bandages you guided him to retrieve.

"so can i-or you- or just.. we need to remove your shirt," he stuttered out, already feeling nervous at the thought of seeing what was underneath your shirt.

you were silently thanking yourself for putting on a good bra today as you subtlety leaned back and lifted your arms up for him to remove your shirt.

his eyes tried their best to avoid looking at your chest. although he definitely wished he could, he knew it wasn't right because of how you were inured right now. instead, he opted to look at the injury, trying to assess the stages of healing.

"okay, the stitches look good, although they do look rather irritated," he said as he gently ran his hands around the cut.

his touch brought shivers to your body, and he noticed the goosebumps from your body betraying you.

"so... i just need to not wear a shirt for the next few days?" you asked with your brows raised. "or are you just trying to see me walk around topless for a while?" you laughed enthusiastically, wincing as your muscles contracted round the stabbing.

"hey, hey, hey..." spencer said grabbing your face to help you concentrate on something else. "i'm gonna put the medication on the wound now, so we should talk about something to distract you now. any recommendations?" he said as he grabbed the ointment the doctor prescribed.

"so, what were your plans for the break? anything special?" you asked as he dabbed some of the medication on.

you ended up squirming slightly as he continued to apply it. spencer noticed your discomfort quickly, so he offered you his hand to hold and squeeze as you felt the pain.

"umm actually there was one thing, but i don't think that'll work out anymore," he admitted as he felt your hand squeeze gently.

"wh-what was that? your plans?" you asked softly.

"jane goodall was lecturing," he said, only revealing enough to not make you feel so guilty.

"jane goodall doesn't lecture very often. i'm pretty sure that was today, right? it was downtown DC," you clarified, brows furrowing in the process.

of course you would know that. you liked goodall, too. he knew that look on your face and he should've known better than to say anything at all.

"yea. it was today," he smiled as he thought of the day he spent with you instead of a famous scientist.

you squeezed his hand harder and leaned back with your eyes wide at the revelation, mouth parted slightly.

"spencer, you didn't," you sad solemnly, sighing as the guilt flooded through you.

"don't worry about it. i wanted to help you," he said, lifting your head up by your chin to look him in the eyes.

"she rarely lectures anymore. that was probably her last one, spence. you missed it because of me," you said with an eyeroll, upset that he would do something so reckless. "for a genius you're kinda stupid."

love makes you stupid, spencer thought to himself.

"i would rather make sure you're okay and well taken care of than see her work," he tried to convince you as you shook your head in defiance.

"since when did you think that doing that would be the right choice, spence? why did you do that?" you pushed his shoulder back gently as you furrowed your brows slightly in confusion.

"y/n..." he trailed off, feeling the nerves eating at him as you raised your eyebrows in question. "i-i um... iminlovewithyou," he spurted out.

"what?" you asked him, not understanding what he said.

"i... am... in love..." he took a deep breath, avoiding eye contact, "with you."

this time you grabbed him by his face and pulled him into yours, your lips colliding. he was tense at first, not realizing what was going on, but very soon relaxed at your touch.

he placed his hand on the side of your face as he brought the other to the back of your head, deepening the kiss. you wrapped one of your hands into his hair, playing with his beautiful locks as you continued the kiss.

after a few more seconds, you both pulled back from one another for a breath.

"i love you too, spencer," you said with a smile.

"let's finish putting this medication on, then we can talk about that some more," he said as he placed the bandage on your wound gently, not wanting to further hurt you.

"so... that's why you missed that lecture, huh?" you questioned with a smirk.

"well," he replied, "that and i promised you i would never leave you. even if there is a famous scientist lecturing right near us."

@averyhotchner​ @greenprisca @muffin-cup

[boldlyvoid]

ain't it fun? | part 3

summary: reader just needs an NA meeting before they have a meltdown, they end up with the best friend they could ever make.

warnings: season 4 episode 7 plot but spencer doesn't have to go through it all alone. mentions of child molestation and murder

word count: 2K

P1 P2

Spencer calls from Vegas of all places, he’s staying an extra few days after a case and he won’t be home. “Actually, if I buy you a ticket would you fly out here for me?”

“Are you crazy?” She laughs, “what’s really going on babe?”

She doesn’t call him babe very often but when she does she can always hear him blush, he’s so giddy and cute he smiles wide and licks his lips a few times, but he doesn't this time.

“I’m not doing the best.”

“Do you need your girlfriend or do you need a meeting?” She asks because she knows there is a huge difference.

“I need my best friend.”

When she arrives in Vegas, she takes a taxi to his hotel and sits in his room all alone until he’s done whatever he was up to. There’s an envelope on the floor, “you’ve got the wrong guy” written on the front in a hasty black chicken scratch.

She hides along the wall, making sure no one can see her under the crack of the door. She manages to keep one foot on either side of the door frame as she looks out the peephole to see an older white man walking away from the door. He’s in a work uniform, on the phone, he’s whispering.

Once she’s sure he’s off the floor, she grabs her things and leaves the room. Leaving the envelope on the floor, she calls Spencer from the stairwell.

“Hey, I’m on my way back now,” Spencer answers.

“Someone dropped an envelope off in your room. I didn’t touch anything I just walked out after the guy left… can I meet you in the bar instead?”

“Yeah! Of course,” he encourages her safety protocols, “I’ll make sure the envelope is safe first, thank you for being smart.”

“No problem," she laughs, he was the genius and he was still calling her smart for following her gut.

"I’m just walking down the stairs cause he took the elevator. He was white, 5’8 ish and older; balding with grey hair so I’m guessing he was in his 60s, and he was on the phone with someone,” she gives his description quickly before she could forget it. “And the envelope says you got the wrong guy on the outside.”

“I know who that is, thank you. I love you,” each phrase got quieter and quieter and she knew he was in the car with his co-workers.

“I love you too, see you soon.”

—

It’s midnight in Virginia, it’s only 9pm in Vegas and Spencer’s been losing his mind trying to solve a case for his own sanity. He was getting nowhere, he’s even tried hypnosis to take him back to when he was 4. But nothing was working.

He’s in the middle of begging his mother to remember, “mom, this isn’t about me. This is about Riley Jenkins.”

“It was always about you…” Diana whispers.

“Please, mom—“

“Spencer,” Y/N’s eyes shoot open.

She’s just been sitting there, barely getting to know Diana as Spencer explained what he remembers. It was very intimate, but she already knew about the dream. She knew one day he’d want to learn more, and now he was.

“Listen to what she just said, it was always about you,” she repeats the words and Spencer looks more confused.

She steps forward and takes Diana’s hands in hers, sitting her down on the edge of her bed as she looks at her carefully. “This is hard, I know you’re really trying and I know how hard it is to talk to Spencer when he’s like this. But how about you tell me the story? Why was the Riley Jenkins case more about Spencer to you?”

Diana clues in then, her eyes zoning out as she remembers everything and Spencer sits quietly in the corner. “Riley was a real boy, poor boy…”

He’s amazed by the fact she’s so calm and good with his mother. “Yes he was, mom, how did I know him?”

“Your father was the t-ball coach, you were really more interested in chess and so eventually he let you go from the team, and you ended up playing in the park with this older man; who was also watching Riley before he died,” Diana explained softly. “It could have been you.”

Spencer gets closer and closer, eventually, he’s kneeling in front of his mother like a little boy at storytime. “What was his name mom?

“Gary Michaels.”

—

David and Derek are really nice guys. She’s sitting with them in the bar while Spencer has a heart-to-heart with his parents at the police station. It’s been a long day, he’s learned a lot and she couldn’t wait to unpack it all with him.

“How come you don’t come out with him more often?” Derek asks, unsure of how to broach the subject, but he wants to know.

“What do you know about me, first of all? Because it’ll tell me everything I need to fill you in on,” she asks in a question in response to his.

“I know you met at a support group, I know he loves you, and I know you live with him now.”

She smiles, “I have a rare disability that many people don't believe in, I work from home and I make little art pieces for the different seasons to make money, I don’t really like going outside. much”

“But you flew all the way to Vegas for him?” Derek smiles knowingly.

She nods gently, “he’s still my best friend in the whole world, Derek.”

“Thank you,” is all he says, “you’ve helped him be the same Spencer I met when he started. You’ve brought the joy back to his life, it’s nice to get to know you more.”

He asks to get her a drink then, to make up for everything she’s been through that day. All she wants is ginger ale and Derek gives her a strange look, he really has no idea that she’s a recovering drug addict. Spencer has kept all her secrets nice and safe in his big and beautiful mind.

“I’m allergic to most alcohol,” she isn't lying but it works. “Especially dark tequila and all vodkas, it’s because they’re made from potatoes and I have a potato starch intolerance... you know actually sometimes even hand sanitizers that are made in alcohol facilities give me an allergic reaction as well.”

“Okay, that right there,” he teases, “that’s why he keeps you all to himself.”

She laughs, “that was a bit of a Reid ramble, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Derek’s smile is so soft. “It really was.”

When she finally sees him again, it’s been almost a full day since he called her and asked for her to fly into Vegas. He needed her moral support while dealing with his parents, and he knew she was the only person who knew the extent of what he felt for them. He tried his hardest to be the best kid in the world for both of them, and yet sometimes he feels like both a disappointment and an unwanted mistake.

They hug for so long when he finally enters the bar, that Derek gets up from the table and goes to find someone to occupy his time with. It’s Vegas and he’s Derek after all… it wasn’t going to be hard for him to have a woman hanging off of him soon, too.

Back in his hotel room, he passes out from exhaustion and she just stares at him. He’s been through so much that even his eidetic memory didn’t want to think about it anymore. normally he would recount his day to her with a smile, now he just sleeps peacefully for the first time in days.

He was so soft and sweet even after being through the most terrifying things the human mind and body can go through.

—

They take a few days off, his co-worker has a baby and it’s the perfect time for him to take her to meet them all. They won't be focused on her at all, and thus she will have fewer questions to answer.

Penelope Garcia is a blessing on this earth. The second Y/N lays eyes on her, she knows that they are going to be friends. She’s a hugger, and they’re good hugs, and she was already making plans to hang out and keep Y/N company when Spencer and the team were out of town.

JJ looked beautiful for just giving birth, Emily was intimidatingly smart and beautiful and she didn’t know how to really make eye contact with her without developing a crush on Spencer’s co-worker. Derek was kind as always, and Aaron gives a firm handshake.

JJ asks Spencer to be Henry’s godfather and it’s all a little too much for Spencer to handle after everything from the day before. He’s been through so much that Y/N can see the panic roaring through his veins as he tries to keep his cool in front of his friends.

But when they’re back in their own bed; in the safe space, they’ve created for one another. She’s running her hands along his back as he snuggles into her chest. Normally she’d tease him for being this close to her boobs, but they were comfortable and he likes to hear her heartbeat.

“I thought for a while they were going to tell me I was molested,” he whispers. “I was more relieved to know my mom witnessed a murder… and I hate myself for thinking that.”

“I was,” she whispers into his hair. “More than once by different men.”

He sits up to look at her, she shrugs, “my friend's dad tried to teach me how to drive by sitting me in his lap so that I’d have to bounce on him over the rocky back road. And a scout leader drove me home and kept his hand way too close to my parts and then a teacher-“

“How are you okay?” he stares at her like she's got 3 heads or something as he shakes his head lightly in disbelief.

She laughs, “I’m not. But I am at the same time? I can’t really explain it... it sucks and I hate it but I’m safe with you so I’m fine... but I’m not okay?”

“Yeah,” he smiles. “I’m fine with you but not okay, too.”

They're quiet for a bit, tilting their heads as they stare at each other with soft little smiles. She loves him and he loves her and all she can think about is forever.

“Can I ask you something?” She’s really serious now, looking at him carefully as his eyes light up.

“Anything!”

“Do you think you’ll want kids one day? Even after everything with your dad?” She’s careful, not wanting to hurt him to push him or make him think he’s letting her down if he says no.

“I want kids, even if it’s just one. I want to be a dad and do what my dad couldn’t. I want to love them and help them grow and teach them how to ride a bike and how to do Pythagorean theory,” his words are full of passion, he’s speaking from his gut.

“I want 3 kids,” she smiles. “With you.”

His eyes go wide, “why?”

She smiles because of course, he convinced himself she wouldn't want his kids, he was a worrier.

“My dad was okay, he was pretty distant and cold until I got sick and then he became one of my best friends. Your dad sucked. Together all that love that we craved will go into our little person and they’ll be so happy and wonderful and loved with us."

Spencer nods in agreement, it's soft and sweet and she makes a last-minute decision. "I don’t think I want kids if I can’t have them with you.”

“What’s your 5-year plan look like?” he asks abruptly like he wants to start having kids tomorrow.

“I don’t have one. But I’ve always dreamed of just being a stay-at-home mom and making art on the side. Maybe even babysitting a few other kids during the days… I don’t know. It always felt like a pipe dream before...”

“Before me?” He asks with a smile, proud and believing it. He really knows she loves him and it’s changed him for the better.

She nods, “you wouldn’t mind if I didn’t ever have a real job?”

“I think we’d be okay as a single income family, I make enough to support the apartment bills as well as groceries, then your income can for things you and the kids want. I’m good paying for everything else.”

She smiles, “you just said the kids.”

He’s giddy with excitement as he nods, “I want forever with you.”

“Okay,” she whispers, leaning in to press her lips against his gently like he could break.

He was so special and perfect to her. Even with the scratches and dings in his paint, he was a collector's item, a one-of-a-kind, never-made again, kind of man who she was really happy she found.

taglist: @g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @ssavanessa22 @spookyspence @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor

[ma-gic-gay]

Finally, the legal proceedings begin again, with testimony from rather dull people, if he's being honest. The jury, it's clear to him at least, is fairly calm at the moment, but there's not a chance in hell that Cyrus is getting off. Not this time. And that terrifies him.

A man with nothing to lose is a very dangerous man. A mobster with nothing to lose? Absolutely fucking terrifying.

A few hours and legal spats between Diane and Helstrom later, court is adjourned until tomorrow, at 8 am. Which, he calculates, leaves Cyrus with a fifteen hour period to cause havoc before the next day.

He sighs, "C'mon, let's get you home," to an unresponsive Carly. "Carly?"

"What?" She asks, snapping back into reality.

"What are you thinking about?" Jason asks, mind running with concern. After all, normally when she's zoning out while thinking, she's making a plan.

And the last plan she made landed them in this courtroom.

"The testimony. I mean, they're genuinely trying to make it seem like you or I would concoct some plan and lure Cyrus into raping and kidnapping me. What the hell do they think of us?" Carly asks, a single tear dripping down her face. "I mean, neither of us are perfect, I know, but to think that I'd do that- that you would do that, it's insulting!"

"They're trying to get under our skin, okay? There's proof they're lying through their teeth right now, Carly. Cyrus is a sick bastard and he's going to jail for the rest of his miserable life. You and I get to walk free while he rots. We will win this." He says, sitting back down in his chair to hug her.

Carly lets out a sad laugh, "God, I hate this."

"I do too."

"I need to get out of here," she sighs, standing up. "You coming?"

"I'm the one who's driving, of course I'm coming," he smiles, holding up the keys just above where she can reach. "Ha, very funny. You're in no shape to drive. Let's go."

"You know, if you would just let me drive, I would be a lot happier right now because I'd have something much better to do than-" Carly starts, stopping her statement suddenly as they leave the courthouse.

He surveys the area immediately, seeing not one, not two, but three armed guys who don't exactly look like cops aiming right at the pair. Fuck. His fingers play at his belt loops, but he doesn't have a gun on him today; it's a court day, why the hell would he bring a gun to a courtroom? That's just plain stupid and it's practically asking to be arrested.

His instincts kick in and he realizes they're gonna make the shot. Unlike the other (relatively shitty) gunmen, assassin's, whatever Cyrus calls them that he's sent after Jason, these ones actually look like they're capable of firing a gun correctly. And they're getting paid hinges on whether or not they hit Carly and him.

Bullets fly out of all three guns at the same time and he shoves Carly out of the way, yelling, "Run!" and ducking down himself but it's too late.

He's been shot, he can feel it as he stumbles onto the ground. His head pounds in his skull and he swears for a minute he can feel his brain. Ow. "Jason!" Carly screams and he can hear her footsteps as he tries to figure out where he's bleeding. "Get back here you sick fucks!" She screams even louder at the gunmen, which probably means they're gone. "I'm going to shoot you myself the second I lay eyes on any of you I swear to god."

Turns out they were just getting paid to shoot him. Carly was just the way they'd manage it.

That knowledge is somewhat comforting as the pain of the bullet continues to hit him in waves, coupled with that of banging his head on the ground when he fell from it. It's a very painful situation for the assassin, who can hear himself moaning in pain.

He's enveloped by a haze of blonde as she cries, pulling out her phone. "I need an ambulance immediately at the courthouse. My best friend was shot in the chest and he's got a head wound." That explains the pain; a chest bullet hurts pretty damn bad. It's not a fun thing. Hence why he doesn't normally shoot in the chest, but rather either a non lethal area or something like the head or the heart. The head wound, though, that doesn't make sense. If he's got a head wound, shouldn't he be unconscious by now? "Well I'm not exactly sure why he got shot, lady, but you better get an ambulance here before I sue this goddamn town for negligence of a shot person!"

A chuckle leaves his throat through the pain as the world starts to get fuzzy around the edges, despite his best efforts to have it not happen like that. "Jason, no, keep your eyes open! Look at me!" A frantic Carly screams, pulling what looks like a really ugly scarf out of her bag and putting it over where he assumes the bullet is. "Just keep your eyes open. Focus on me."

In the distance, he can hear an ambulance's siren. "Of course I'm doing everything I can to keep him conscious, what the hell do you take me for?" She snaps at the lady on the phone through tears. Even when she's witnessing him get shot (and possibly dying, though this isn't exactly the way he planned on dying), of course she's still fighting random people.

"Carly, stop harassing the operator," he says, though he can feel it use quite a bit of his strength as the fuzziness intensifies.

"You do not die on me, Jason Morgan, do you hear me? I am not letting you die because of me, I will not be able to live with myself if you die like this and I have to witness it. Keep your eyes open and just focus on me," Carly practically begs as the sound of the sirens intensifies. They're probably getting closer to being here, maybe even pulled into the parking lot. He can't tell.

As Carly's rambling about something, he can't hear her very coherently anymore, the world turns black around him. Vaguely, he can distinguish the sound of her sobs and the pressure of the scarf around his chest.

"Jason, please, please, please, open your eyes," Carly begs, sobs overtaking her pleas as the ambulance approaches. This isn't happening, this is a nightmare, he's not actually shot and possibly dying. Right? He's fine, right?

"Ma'am, we're going to need you to step away from him so we can do our jobs and help him live," a random paramedic instructs her, earning a scoff as she backs away a few feet.

Who the hell does he think he is, ordering her around like that? Acting like he knows a damn thing about either of them, or like he's got any authority. He could be dying right now for all she knows! "I'm riding with you in the ambulance," she declares. "And you won't be able to keep me out so don't even try to."

"You'll just be taking up space-"

"I've been in these plenty of times before. There's more than enough space and," her voice breaks, a quiet sob leaving her lips before she continues, "he has the keys."

Shaking his head at her, the paramedic signals her to get in and she does just that as Jason's loaded into the ambulance her. "Don't die," she begs quietly to the unconscious man. "Please, god, don't die. This can't be the bullet that kills you."

"Say a prayer in your head," the paramedic says to her and she snaps.

"Stop acting like you know what I'm going through. I don't care if you don't understand what's going on here but let me explain it to you: your job is to make sure my friend here doesn't die. Got it? You can give up on ordering me around any minute now because I'm not in the goddamn mood to listen to it." Carly snaps, tears of rage streaming down her face.

The rest of the ride is mainly silent, save for a few sniffles and sobs from the blonde. With her luck, someone will be at the hospital and this'll be front page news tomorrow.

When they arrive at the hospital, Portia immediately takes Jason's gurney and brings it to a trauma room with a slew of nurses behind her. At least he's getting five star treatment, she thinks, sitting down slowly in a chair.

He got shot protecting her. And now he could die because of it.

"Carly, what's going on here?" Sam asks, storming over.

"Jason," she starts, voice breaking and unsteady as she continues, "got shot outside the courthouse. They're, uh, taking a look at him right now."

"What?" Sam asks, disbelief evident in her tone. "How did he get shot?"

"We were leaving the courthouse and I was fighting with him over driving home and I noticed these three guys, they had guns aimed at us. He noticed and I was stuck there, wondering what the hell they were doing outside of the courthouse and he shoved me out of the way. But," she continues, feeling shame and dread crawl into her veins as she watches it unfold again mentally, "he was too late in saving himself. He got shot in the chest and he fell to the ground. I kept thinking to myself, I've got to save him, I've got to save him for one of the million times he's saved me, so I call an ambulance and wrap his chest in a scarf. And I was begging him to live and bickering with the operator when, suddenly, he stopped showing any response. I don't know if he's dead or alive."

Near silent sobs are all that's heard for a few minutes by either of them, both trying their best not to scream. "He could die," Sam notes, "because of you. Because he has this need to protect you, Jason could die."

"What?" Michael asks, heartbreak evident on his face and killing Carly's heart even more. "What happened to Jason?" When he's met with silence, he asks his question again, "what happened to Jason, Mom, that Sam's blaming on you?" She meets his eyes and sees that he's begging for the truth.

"He got shot." The words seem to echo more than she expects, the full weight of them only now hitting her as she sobs loudly in the middle of the hospital, not caring who hears.

To be continued later in this life.

e

[seouledbysisi]

A Time Like No Other

Chapter 8

The Meeting

Misun outfit: 

Nori Outfit: 

The girls walked through the huge reception area of the large building. They could feel their body reacting in nervousness. Misun's palms became a bit moist. Nori knew she was on edge so she needed to calm her down somehow. She stopped her for a moment, with her hands on her shoulders. “Misun, we got this okay? The worst thing that can happen is that we don't like his plan for us.”

Misun inhaled deeply. “I know. I just need a minute before we walk into that meeting. Can we pray? I think that might help.” She was becoming anxious.

Nori nodded. “Of course!” They grabbed one another hands and began to pray asking God to be with them in this meeting and to help them make the right decisions for their career and to guide them always.

“I feel better. You ready for this?” Misun asked in a bit more excitement than she had before.

Nori pulled her to the elevator and they embarked to the seventh floor where his office was. Miranda was already there waiting for them. As they walked in there were a few people waiting for them. Nori and Misun bowed a little and took their seats.

The president welcomed them in with a smile. “Some of my talent scouts came across your YouTube channel and I must say you have a lot people that seem to like what you're doing. Tell me why you started it?”

Misun nodded to Nori so she could answer.

“We really love music and we love the people that create beautiful music that touches others hearts. We wanted fans of these artists to be able to get a better feel of who they truly are as well as us being able to connect with the artists.” Nori explained.

“Music is not just something that you do or that you listen to. It's more about how you feel when you hear it or how it moves you. It's about the passion that these artists put into their artistry. We wanted to be able to get closer to that. We love entertainment period. We want to expand in so many ways.” Misun added.

The president nodded. “I like you. You're driven and anyone can work with a person that's passionate and not afraid of learning new things and new ways. So I propose that we draw up a contract that will link you exclusively to Ktown Entertainment. What do you think?”

Misun took a deep breath. “I know you have your own staff but this contract has to include our personal consultant, Miranda, as well. We wouldn't be where we are without her and there's no way we're leaving her behind.”

“That's not a problem. You just tell me what role she plays in your career and we can draw up a contract for her as well.” The president answered with a smile.

Miranda smiled big at the girls. She had so much faith in them and she was about ready to let them fly on their own, no she wasn't ready to let them go but she wasn't sure where her place would be at this point but she felt so much love and respect from them since they weren't ready to let her go as well. “Thank you.” She nodded in Misun and Nori's direction.

They talked more business and then the contracts were in their faces. A physical copy of the thing that was changing their lives for the better.

“So living arrangements?” Misun directed her question to the president.

His grin got bigger. “Oh yes, that apartment you're staying in. . .it's yours as long as you're signed with us. I need you two living here within the next month. I have a lot of work for you girls to get started with as well as media training and so forth.”

“A month? What about our lease? That's not up until November!” Nori directed to Misun.

The president placed his hand on both of their shoulders. “No need to worry. Whatever fee you have to pay to release you from your lease I will take care of. Don't worry. It's smooth sailing from here.”

Misun nodded. “Does Miranda have to move here?”

“If she wants to but we won't need her here all the time like we need you two. She can simply travel when necessary.” He replied.

Miranda shook her head. “I don't think my husband would like moving here right now so I'll just travel here when I'm needed.”

They got everything sorted out and they left.

Back at the apartment

Nori is throwing clothes everywhere while Misun is sipping on some red wine. “What are you looking for?” Misun asked her.

“Something to wear!” She plops down on the floor with the rest of her clothes.

Misun cocked an eyebrow up. “Where are you going?”

“You mean where are WE going!” Nori answered with a sly grin.

Misun shook her head. “Nope, I'm not going anywhere especially when you have that sneaky grin on your face!”

“You are going, so go find something sexy to wear because we owe ourselves to celebrate tonight!”

Misun lifted her glass of wine. “This is me celebrating, duh!”

Nori pulled her off the bed. “Get your booty in that room and find something sexy! If you don't I will for you!”

Misun pouted as she walked into the room. “Okay okay! Gosh!”

Misun finally found something that was suitable for a club setting. She didn't go to clubs back home except for when Nori would drag her there so this was totally out of her element but she may as well live a little. She began to curl her long black hair. She loosened the curls so that they would look more like beach waves. She fixed her makeup and finally exited her room where her best friend was awaiting her.

Nori's eyes widened. She was stunned. “Whoa mama! You look hot! Every Korean guy is going to want a piece of Misun, tonight!” She couldn't take her eyes off of her bestie.

Misun began to blush and waved her off. “Stop! I feel very uncomfortable. Is this too much?”

“It's just enough. Let loose please. Even if it's just for tonight, please have some real fun. We deserve this!” Nori told her with a grin.

Misun nodded. “Okay, I won't be so in my head tonight. You look beautiful by the way, every man is that building is going to want YOU!”

Nori winked at her. “I know. That's the point of this whole outfit. Give them a taste of what they can't have. Now let's go because Miranda is waiting on us downstairs.”

“She's coming with us? Her husband is going to kill her!” Misun acknowledged.

Nori shrugged. “She's still young, she needs a life outside of him. Plus what he doesn't know can't hurt him. Let's go!”

They jumped into the vehicle with Miranda. “Dang, Miranda! You clean up really nice!” Misun told her.

“If I could dress like this all the time I would but Michael hates me showing any type of skin.” She said as she rolled her eyes and drove away from the apartment building.

Monsta X

The music was banging in their ears as they sipped on their beer in the V.I.P. section that was highly secured. There were so many fans trying to get an invite to join them but the guys just weren't feeling it tonight. They simply waved to the fans and threw hearts in their direction. They just were trying to relax and enjoy their time there.

“Times like this I kind of wish I wasn't famous.” Wonho admitted.

The guys all looked at him stunned. “What do you mean?” Shownu asked him.

“I love our fans of course but we're stuck in this section until we leave because they're swarming this area. Don't you ever just want to get on the dance floor and grab a pretty girl and dance the night away?” Wonho explained.

Minhyuk nodded. “I understand. Just be treated like a normal person because we are just normal people who just happen to perform too. I get you.”

“Go grab a pretty girl and dance with her then. We have security. Have fun!” Kihyun urged.

Shownu shook his head. “Monbebe may not like that very much.”

“What are you talking about? Whoever he dances with is a monbebe. They will be happy that we're giving them real attention.” Kihyun argued. “Go Wonho!”

Wonho chuckled. “I don't know, maybe Shownu is right.”

Shownu smirked. “No, maybe I'm not. You gotta live your life. Go dance! Or invite one of them in to dance with you.” Shownu didn't want to ruin everyone else night simply because he wasn't really into it.

Wonho nodded and patted Shownu's shoulder. He told one of their security guys to invite a few of the fans in. The ladies came in and sat next to the guys.

The girl who sat next to Shownu kept talking to him expecting better responses than he was giving. “What's wrong with you?” She asked him playfully. “Am I not pretty enough?”

Shownu snapped out of it for a moment. He felt bad that he was being rude. “Oh no, you're gorgeous. I'm just in a weird mood tonight.” He replied with a smile.

The girl moved some of her hair behind her ear. “It's okay. Maybe I can help you feel better. Dance with me?”

“No you don't have to.” He replied with a small smile and looked away.

She stood up and grabbed his hand. “I insist that you dance with me. You love to dance and I love to have a good time so give me a chance to help you feel better!”

He stood up. He couldn't allow her to keep begging for his attention so he obliged. Maybe this would open him up a bit. He had been closed off for a few weeks and he needed to get himself out of whatever funk this was. He grabbed her hips softly as she swayed them from side to side.

She placed her arms around his neck. “Is it working yet?” She asked with a flirtatious smile.

He nodded. He couldn't lie, dancing was like therapy for him so it was helping and he couldn't deny this woman's beauty.

The other guys began dancing with the other females that were up there with them until something caught Changkyun's eye. He let go of the girl he was dancing with and moved closer to the safety railing so he could get a closer view of the dance floor which was downstairs.

Hyungwon followed his gaze and moved closer too. “Is that who I think it is?”

Changkyun jumped a little from the realization that Hyungwon was now standing next to him. “Boy, you scared me! So if they're here at this club that means Shownu could've possibly seen them at the mall too, right?”

“Maybe he's not going crazy. What are the odds though? We keep ending up in weird situations with them.” Hyungwon couldn't figure out how this kept happening.

“Should we tell Shownu though?” Changkyun asked.

“Tell me what?” Shownu asked in confusion.

Changkyun jumped again from shock. “Y'all have got to stop sneaking up on me like this!”

Shownu laughed. “Why are you so jumpy tonight? Lay off the beer.”

“It's not the beer, trust me!” He responded as he hit Shownu's arm.

Shownu scanned the dance floor to try and see if he could figure out why they were near the rail just watching especially when they had beautiful women in VIP with them. “So you guys would rather stand over here by yourselves watching everyone else have a good time than dance with pretty girls? That's strange.”

“I just don't feel good right now. That's all.” Changkyun lied.

Shownu simply nodded. The other guys gathered with them.

“What's wrong? Everyone just disappeared out of nowhere.” Jooheon asked as he held the hand of one of the girls.

“Changkyun doesn't feel good.” Shownu answered.

Kihyun scrunched his face up. “You were literally just fine like two minutes ago!”

“Well now I'm not. It may be something I ate. I just needed to get away for a second that's all.”He replied in a snarky way.

Wonho's eyes widened. “I think I see Misun and Nori.”

Shownu and Jooheon both snatched their heads in his direction. “WHAT?”

Wonho pointed at the two women who were dancing in a group with guys and girls surrounding them. “I could spot them from a mile away. They stand out.”

Jooheon dropped the fan's hand quickly and started walking towards the exit of the VIP section.

Shownu grabbed his arm to stop him. “What are you doing!?”

“What do you mean? I'm going down there!” Jooheon answered him quickly with a bit of an attitude.

“Weren't you the one telling me to basically move on?” Shownu inquired.

Jooheon sighed. “Yeah but they're here and so are we. When destiny calls, you come running now let's go down there and see what's up!”

Shownu licked his lips a little. “You know we shouldn't do that. They both have our numbers and neither of them have reached out to us. That means they don't care and we shouldn't push it.”

“That's bull! You're scared of rejection. You can continue this night in fear but you'll be doing it alone!” Jooheon snatched his arm away.

“I'm not scared of rejection. We've already been rejected, Jooheon! I'm not putting myself out there anymore just to keep getting the same reaction. They're here in Seoul and we still haven't heard a peep from them so what does that tell you? It tells me that Misun just isn't that into me! Do yourself a favor and take my advice.” Shownu's voice escalated a little as he talked to Jooheon. He was frustrated. He walked away and sat back down on the couch.

Jooheon glanced back downstairs to try and find Nori and Misun. He noticed Nori looking up towards where they were. For a second he thought she may have seen them but he shook the thought away and drank the rest of his beer up. “I'm ready to go right now.” He told the guys.

[fantasticallytae]

Panacea

01 02 03 04 05

Pairing: Jungkook X Reader

Genres: angst/fluff, Gang! au themes

Warnings: Minor mention of drugs, gangs

Word Count: 2.8k

~

Waking up the next day, you were filled with a new spark of motivation, helping you make the decision of going to today's classes. In hopes that you might stumble upon Jungkook, even though you know that it only happens once in a blue moon, you get ready for the day and head out to your university campus. You only have to walk about 20 minutes from your home to your college building which was no big deal, except for having to look at the same old desolate city every time you walk out your door. Same old bleak surroundings, same old dreary people, same old sense of isolation. Your town was known for it's drugs, gangs and it's riddance of joy. You grew up here, this is what was always familiar to you, what you've always known, so it was no big deal, until you had to move out and live on your own. It all hit you once you had no family, friends or anything to distract you from this community. You knew that until you got a degree and finally finished school, you were stuck here.

Unfortunately not stumbling upon Jungkook, you come back home and settle into this oh-so-familiar routine. Wake-up. Pass time. Go to classes. Study. Sleep. And the circle would start again, yet you missed something about it. It was nostalgic to your highschool days where everything was just a little less complicated. At least now you have more freedom right? But with freedom comes responsibility, and that's something noone wants to take care of.

Day by day you get on fine, anticipating your next meeting with Jungkook, which oddly is on the same day, in the same place at the same time. You're not complaining, the view of the setting sun is a scene you will never get sick of, so you agreed and before you know it, you're heading down to the playground, down the same streets, to the same school, turning the same corner. Low and behold Jungkook, swinging there gently, letting the breeze influence the movements of his hair and clothes. This time the crisp leaves beneath your shoes give away you approaching, he notices and turns around with his infectious smile once again. This time you don't sit next to him, but come up to stand right in front, hands in your jacket pockets and smiling down at him. You have no idea where this new found confidence spurred in you but you decided to finally show initiative and show him that there is more to you than just this bashful girl.

He evidently tries to hide the confusion that's running through his mind, but does so badly, so before he can wonder for too long, you speak up.

'Where are we going?' you simply ask, thoughts rushing back to the last time you were here, him telling you he'll take you places you'll love.

Reading your mind, he shoots and excited grin and gets up himself, standing a lot closer to you than you were expecting. From this perspective, the height difference between you is so apparent it's almost laughable, having to crane your neck to look at him directly. You step back before the situation would get uncomfortable.

'I was thinking' he pauses 'that it should be a surprise' he states with a brash smile that has you wondering what he's up to. But you comply nevertheless and without another word he leads the way. Walking for a little less than a minute, strolling your way beside him at a leisurely pace, in no rush or urgency, he asks.

'You have any friends down here?' A seemingly forward question, but you know that he's only making conversation.

'Hah' you breathily laugh to yourself 'Haven't had proper friends since like, middle school' you confirm. It's not like you were bitter about it, you actually cherished not having to be duty-bound by other people, which was almost always the case for you in the past.

'What about you?' you innocently ask back, thinking that it's only appropriate to ask back. You could see a little hesitance in his eyes, immediately making you think you shouldn't have asked.

'Yeah' followed by a pause 'But they're no one you need to be concerned about' he replies rather harshly, taking you by surprise, this being the first time he even remotely acted up like this.

'Why not?' you answered, irritated, in a vaguely bothered state that he replied so rudely. Though you immediately take anything you said back after you hear him sigh loudly and not even spare a glance towards your direction, but only digging his hands further into his pockets and quirking his lips as if he's stopping himself from saying something. You both let it go and continue on walking in a slightly tense, awkward silence. You noticed Jungkook now walking somewhat faster, so that your significantly shorter legs have to take longer strides to keep up with him. Your already agitated mood is becoming more agitated with every step you're taking and you break.

'Hey' you stop walking and he takes a step ahead of you and turns 'Why the heck are we walking so fast?' You half expect him to snark at you again, but he just looks blankly at you with his dough eyes.

'The view will be better if we get there before sunset' he declares as blankly as his expression appears. You feel your annoyance melt when you realise he's only trying his best for you. Feeling completely dumb, you get flustered and look down, walking ahead, failing to notice an endearing smirk playing on his lips, admiring your short temper. He follows behind you, quickly catching up to your brisk pace. Seeing you still have your head down, he speaks up to break the quiet that was created between you.

'You know where I'm taking you yet?'

You shake your head no

'Good' He playfully says with another smirk which you catch this time, and you let a slight smile pass your lips too, which he in turn notices as well. He's thankful that he was able to diffuse the situation.

You don't realise you almost lose Jungkook when he swiftly turns a corner, abruptly halting you in your steps so that you end up walking behind him.

'We're almost there' he says excitedly, looking over his shoulder to see if your still following him. Checking out your surroundings, you can't help but notice how oddly scenic this narrow street is. Like everywhere else in the city, it was coloured with street art, but it was like no graffiti you've seen before; It's art, not just any old scribbles made by the annoying young kids from the street, it was satisfying to look at. You've never been to this part of town, and to think something as cool as this was a 10 minute walk from your place. Because Jungkook seems to know where he is and where he's heading, you decide to ask him about it.

'Who does all of this art?' you phrase, quickly catching up so you're beside him again.

'It's usually the street kids that come up with this stuff' he explains with just as much amusement in his eyes as you. 'It's pretty neat isn't it?' he smiles at you, not expecting an answer, seeing that you were clearly in awe of this place. In your daydreams and looking around, you lag behind Jungkook once again, until you suddenly crash into his back as he stops Infront of a door to a little run down looking hotel. Letting out a little 'jeez' you come back to reality, realising that this is your destination. He gently places one of his hands on your shoulder and leans in to whisper to you.

'Just go along with what I'm doing okay?' he quietly tells you. Being this close to him you practically smell the shampoo he uses, which you swear smells like apple. It takes a lot in you to not internally go crazy at the close proximity, which you know your probably over analysing but you manage to nod. He turns back and heads inside leaving you to follow.

Contrary to the outside of the building, you are greeted with a lovely spacious lobby area, decorated with paintings and sofas that give it a modern finish. Before you can look around for too long Jungkook steps to the reception counter and speaks to the man in uniform behind it.

'Sorry, I just seem to have lost the card to my room, I was wondering if I could get a spare?' he nonchalantly lies to the man. Your eyes go slightly wide at what crazy idea comes into Jungkooks mind to lie like this, but his casualty to the situation comforts you a little.

'Oh, Absolutely no problem, I just need a full name' the man declares, and you were sure that Jungkook didn't know what he was doing and was going to get caught any second. Instead, he quickly answers.

'Michael Miller' he says sternly, not provoked by the receptionists question. You don't know where he has got this name from, or what he's up to, all you know is he told you to play along and pretend this is normal. The receptionist types away something at his computer and then turns to you.

'And you are…' in a quick panic you look at Jungkook for reassurance in hope that he'll do something about this, but he looks just as panicked as you. He hurriedly twists his head back to the man.

'Yeah, um, she's my girlfriend' he exclaims a little too loudly and uneasily, but the man doesn't seem to notice and goes back to typing at his computer screen. You turn a newly found shade of crimson as your eyes widen, looking at Jungkook like he just did something unspeakable. Jungkook ever so slightly tilts his head in your direction mouthing an 'I don't know' with a small shrug at you. He still looks vaguely panicked and apologetic, but he's trying his hardest to not give his identity away.

The receptionist turns away from his computer and hands Jungkook a card with a polite smile.

'Thank you' Jungkook says mannerly back and then heads for the corridor that evidently holds the elevator entrances. While all this is happening, your cheeks are burning a bright shade of red, even though you know Jungkook only said that so that you could get through. Something about it won't let your cheeks simmer down. If Jungkook noticed this, he chose not to comment on it but to silently step into the elevator after you and press the last floor button. The doors close and you both let out a gust of breath as if you haven't been breathing for the last five minutes. Knowing your out of hearing range of anyone on the ground floor, you're shook back to the actual situation at hand.

'Where the actual hell are we going Jungkook?' You ask as if you haven't got a clue in the world, which is correct. You have so many questions about what just happened.

'Who the heck is Michael Miller? How are you so casual at this? Is this illegal? What i-' you babble on until he interrupts you.

'It's fine y/n. Seriously. You'll see soon enough' He reassures you, no smile this time, but with a light tone.

The elevator doors gradually open, showing a view of a barren hall with room doors lining the walls. Jungkook starts walking ahead of him down the corridor, you trailing behind him. He stops at a door with a 'staff only' plaque drilled onto it.

'You know where we going now?' he shoots a bold smile at you before he reaches out to twist the handle and slinks inside. You roll your eyes partially at yourself, but also at him when you're left to trust his actions and accompany him. The door is lightly closed behind you and you are left in a very dimly lit space.

'Hey. Over here' you hear Jungkook loudly whisper to you as he's clambering on to a low extension of the wall. He stretches to his fullest height and pushes a panel of the ceiling away to reveal the open air. He jumps and grabs onto the edge, somehow managing to pull himself up and onto the roof of the building.

'Come on' he gestures to you as you scramble onto the wall extension after him. He reaches down so you can take his hand and for some stupid reason you get flustered again, the blood rushing back to your cheeks. You take his hand nonetheless, instantly noticing how slightly calloused but soft the skin of his palms is. Trying so hard to push the thoughts to the back of your head, you jump and grab onto the ledge with your other hand. You succeed in climbing onto the top with Jungkooks considerable help and you instantly drop on the ground with a thump, having to catch your breath. The cool evening air around you helps in chilling you back to a normal temperature after not only burning hot from embarrassment but also from getting on top of this goddamn thing.

Jungkook lays there with you, a reasonable distance away, but not breathless. He's observing the gorgeous cloudless sky above him.

'Did you tire yourself out a bit?' He cheerily teases, tilting his head straight to your direction. You lightly chuckle, not turning your head. You're looking up at the sky, but you are hyper aware of Jungkooks gaze resting on your face for a moment too long, before he catches himself and looks back up, lifting himself so he's in a sitting position. You sit up too, as he reaches over and swings the panel back over the opening, so that no one notices it was touched.

You steadily get up into a standing position, letting out an uncomfortable groan as you feel your muscles already aching. Jungkook still being in a sitting position, you step over to the short wall surrounding the perimeter of the rooftop out of interest of what you'll see, and as you very carefully look over, you wince, chills run down your spine at the incredible distance you are from the pavements below. Observing your reaction from the ground, Jungkook wholly laughs at you.

'wait' he mumbles, swiftly getting up and jogging up to you. As if you didn't have enough blushing this night already, he offers his hand to you again, seemingly unbothered, with a shine in his eyes, reflecting the view before you. You reach out for his hand and place it on his. In reassurance, he squeezes it lightly and and with a quirk of his head, motions for you to step up on the wall. You think he's freaking insane, making you get up on it, so you just look at him directly, kinking your eyebrows upward as if to say he's crazy. But seeing his face in excitement and anticipation, you steady a little bit.

'I'll be right here' And with that he lifts up his hand, after a second more hesitation, you lean and step up onto the curb. Although you're so shaky you could literally collapse any second, you can't deny the view from up here is astonishing. This time round, the sky is glowing beautiful flush pink tones, fading into lilac, before disappearing into the landscape of sky scrapers and office buildings. Illuminating the city, you could make out streetlights, traffic lights and windows, indicating the business of the people. Although the stars weren't out yet, it was quite dark because of the time it took you to get here, but nonetheless, you couldn't have imagined something prettier than this.

Jungkook hastily hops onto the wall beside you, so that your arms are brushing against eachother. He admires the scenery for a few moments.

'This is so beautiful' he says in a hushed tone, as if he's too breathtaken to speak any louder.

'Here' He starts, looking down at your still locked hands 'This will be better'. He removes his hand from yours and places it back, intertwining his fingers with yours. You let out a slight nervous laugh, making it out to be not obviously an embarrassment reflex. And you look at him for a second or two, or three, as he's beaming a smile at you, angel-like in the glow of the sun once again.