#mia ready to watch the boss kick some ass

[charmwitch]

more ike practice and a quick drawing

[nationalharryleague]

The Busy Bean

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Genre: Coworkers to lovers AU

Word count: 5.6K

A/N: Hi all! This is my entry for Sadie’s (@meetmeinfleetwood) To Lovers Fic Challenge!! As always, many thanks to Mia (@hardcandy-harry) and Lu (@meetmymouth​ even tho shes taking a little break lol) for being wonderful betas!! I really love it and I hope you enjoy it too! You can find more of my writing in my masterlist and I would love to hear what you think (or anything else lol) in my ask! 

***

The first day at a new job is a universally terrifying experience.

You can’t sleep the night before, head full of nightmare scenarios of evil customers and mean bosses, and a swirl of anxiety continues to bubble in the pit of your stomach, refusing to slow or calm. There's a part of you that prays they will call and tell you that they don’t need your help anymore, despite how bad you need the money. But the call never comes, and the next day you stand in front of the building, desperately trying to take deep breaths and slow your heart rate, bracing yourself for whatever is to come whenever you enter.

This is where Y/N was today, in a mess of shaky palms with slight blue bags under her eyes from a lack of sleep that wouldn’t disappear no matter how hard her concealer tried. She stood in front of the large plate glass window of the cafe, sneaking glimpses and trying to prepare herself for whatever awaited before she actually reached to take the door handle. With a glance at her watch that signaled it was time for her to arrive, she took one last deep breath and entered the small but cozy space.

The cafe itself wasn’t open yet, devoid of customers with only a few lights behind the counter on, but it was full of the delightful and familiar smell of coffee that swirled around her head. The wall to her left was an exposed brick that had been painted white with a long table running along it with stools tucked underneath and a long cafe counter ran the length of the shop to her right. The far back wall of the shop was a giant book shelf with books stacked from the bottom of the top, arranged in a rainbow pattern along each shelf. The store was unbearably charming.

“Hello?” she felt herself call out softly into the empty space. Her voice came out slightly timid, her anxious mind not giving her lips full permission to speak.

She listened to a shuffling and a distant voice muttering “shit,” that seemed to be coming from a door that sat behind the counter where the few lights had been turned on. Before long, a man with curly hair popped his head out from the back hallway, giving her a wide dimpled smile. “Just give me a minute!” he said, holding up his pointer finger for a second, before disappearing back into the hall. After a few more moments of shuffling and muffled cursing, he reappeared. His face held the same dimpled grin as before.

“You must be Y/N,” he said, reaching out a hand for her to shake across the counter. “Boss man said you would be starting today.”

“That’s me,” she spoke gently, still apprehensive in the new surroundings. She placed her hand in his and he shook it with a friendliness she hadn’t expected from her first couple minutes in a new work space. His hand was warm and his nails were painted a bright and sunshiny yellow.

“I’m Harry. It’s great to meet you!” His voice was deep, but light and enthusiastic, far too excited for the early morning calm that she had been reveling in on her walk to the shop.

She decided quickly that he looked like a ‘Harry’ and that his name matched his cheerful disposition. His green eyes shined, even in the relatively dim early morning light that illuminated the room through the front window, and they held a disarming and calming quality that slowed her heart rate for the first time since she had woken up.

“You too.” She forced a smile onto her lips, hoping to conceal the first day jitters that ran through her system.

“Don’t worry about your first day,” he read her like a book. “Everyone here is very nice and you have the best trainer in the world.”

“I’m assuming that’s you?” she questioned, letting out a light chuckle.

“Well, of course it is.”

She was slightly taken aback by the peculiar, yet undeniably charming, man that stood across the counter from her. He was dressed in a loose fitting black sweater that looked cozy and soft, paired with wide-legged tan slacks, all covered with a dark green apron that had the cafe’s logo on the chest. The Busy Bean was embroidered in a light yellow sitting above a mug with a bumble bee on it; it was charming and cute, fitting in well with the plethora of plants and flowers that filled the cafe.

He must have noticed her staring at the logo. “You like the name?” he asked her, pointing at the logo that sat on his chest. She nodded softly, a smile finding its way on to her lips. “We’re going to be very busy beans in about,” he paused to check his watch, “thirty minutes when we open. So put this on,” he slid her very own apron across the counter, “and let's get ready.”

Harry wasn’t lying when he said they were going to be busy.

While the shop had intentionally started her on a Saturday morning when it was usually a bit slower, the morning rush came in and threw her for a tizzy. She took orders and ran them to tables for what seemed like hours, kept far away from the coffee bar as she was unsure of how to make all of the drinks yet. But thankfully, she wasn’t alone.

Soon after opening, another woman arrived, wearing the same dark green apron that matched Y/N and Harry’s. She had long dark hair that fell to the small of her back and in gentle waves and glowing mocha skin with golden eyes. She introduced herself as Isla, with a warm and friendly smile, and stationed herself behind the counter, making drink after drink that smelled intoxicatingly delicious. Y/N thanked god, or whatever was out there, that she and Harry had someone else to help them out while customers flowed in and out of the shop.

Harry hung by her side for the entirety of the morning rush, carefully watching her every move, and gently redirecting her when she seemed to make a mistake. He was kind and she could tell that he genuinely wanted her to learn, not just to do a job well for efficiency’s sake. There was never a trace of frustration on his features, just patience and good will.

Around noon, the flood of patrons looking for their morning coffee began to slow, finally giving Y/N an opportunity to rest. She flopped herself down on a stool that sat behind the counter and released a long sigh, stretching her neck and slumping her shoulders. She was met by sympathetic giggles coming from her two new co-workers.

“Honey,” Isla began with a hint of pity in her voice, “that was nothing.”

“What did I get myself into?” Y/N chuckled through a groan, putting her face in her hands out of exhaustion.

“I promise it gets easier,” Harry chimed in, always one to calm someone’s anxieties. “You just need to get into the swing of things.”

“What I need to do is learn how to make all the fancy coffees that people keep asking me for,” she said, peeking through her fingers at her still amused coworkers.

A look was passed between the two of them, Isla eventually moving out of the way and motioning for Harry to take over the coffee bar. “Come on Baby Barista, lets teach you some of the basics.”

His nickname for her made her release a loud laugh, immediately stifling it to a few giggles when she realized she had caused a few patrons to look up and over at her. Her cheeks warmed instantly, embarrassed for disturbing them, and she added another item to the list of things she was learning never to do again with customers in the store.

He guided her over to the counter full of machinery including pots of coffee, hot water, an espresso machine, and more equipment she couldn’t even identify. He spoke to her gently and gave her all his attention, carefully talking her through how to make a few of the most ordered drinks. Other than almost burning herself a couple times, she was starting to get the hang of it. She had a very hard time wiping the smile off of her face after Harry taste tested each one and gave his seal of approval.

“Not bad, Baby Barista,” he complimented with a dimpled smile and a slight nod after she handed him what she believed was a caramel latte. She reveled in his praise, wanting to do her job well, but also loving his approval and the nickname he had now assigned to her.

They did this coffee lesson for a few more hours, as the shop slowed to almost a complete stop as they got closer to closing time. Isla had headed home and there were only a few stragglers left that had spent their days working or reading in the cafe as the sun began to set around 5pm, with closing at 6. Harry diligently continued to teach her as much as he could in one day as they began to close up the shop and get ready for the next day. He was easy to talk to and their conversation seemed to flow effortlessly as they swept and did dishes.

“So, what brought you to London?” he asked after a short lul, looking at her with an inquisitive look, the ever present dimple on his cheek and grin on his lips disarming her easily.

“Oh, you know,” she stumbled over her words slightly, “I just needed a fresh start.”

“No mysterious or heartbreaking backstory I need to know about?” he quipped, a questioning eyebrow perched on his forehead. She let out another loud laugh, deciding not to quiet herself this time as there was only one customer left in the store.

“No,” she chuckled, shaking her head as she swept. “I got dumped in a small town and needed to get away from them. It was like they were around every corner.” She wasn’t sure why she was telling him this, but he just had a way of pulling the truth from her. “I always dreamed of living here and the breakup was the kick in the ass I needed to actually do it.”

“I’m glad you made it here, but I’m sorry about the breakup.”

“Don’t be,” she smiled. “Definitely for the best.”

“Okay, then I won’t be.” His eyes had a mischievous glint behind them, but she couldn’t exactly place what he was getting at.

They worked together in a comfortable silence after that, making sure everything was ready for the morning to come and clean from the day that was leaving. Y/N covered a yawn as Harry told her that she was done for the day.

As she clocked out and gathered her things, she heard Harry’s voice as she moved towards the exit. “Do you live close by? I can give you a ride if you need. Don’t want you having to walk too far in the dark.” His offer was sweet and made her smile.

“I’m pretty close and I like the walk.” She grabbed onto the handle of the front door but couldn’t make herself leave just yet. “Thank you for being so patient with me today, Harry,” she said looking back towards him and connecting their eyes. She tried to convey her emotions to him on her face, something she wasn’t always very good at.

“No problem. We’re happy to have you here, Baby Barista.”

With a final nod and a light flush to her cheeks, she set off down the street towards her new flat. It wasn’t a long walk, just long enough to get a little chill in her bones from the cold winter air and to turn her nose into a small icicle.

She reflected on her first day as she walked. She liked Isla, and really liked Harry. And while she was very busy, it was good busy, not the type of busy that depletes your energy and makes you want to fall over at the end of the day. It was a kind of busy that kept her on her toes, ready to learn, and develop a skill.

Her thoughts were broken through when she noticed the old beat up red car that seemed to be following her down the road. It drove slowly, as if it didn’t want it to see her, and took extra long at intersections like it was hoping to stay behind her. She took a turn she didn’t need to at the next block, and another after that, and when the car continued to follow, her heart began to race.

She thought about running, or going up to a pedestrian and asking for help; she even considered calling her mum just to stay on the phone with her until she got home. It wasn’t until she recognized the green eyes and dimples behind the wheel that her heart began to slow. She turned around fully then, making eye contact with the man who had been following her, and crossing her arms in front of her and shooting a questioning eyebrow up at him.

He wore a look of shame as his car slowed to a stop in the street next to her.

“Excuse me sir,” she said sarcastically, bending over to look in the window and get a better look at his embarrassed rosey cheeks. “Why were you following me?”

“I wasn’t being a creep, I promise,” he quickly defended. “This neighborhood gets a little dangerous at night and I just wanted to make sure you got home safe.” He looked panicked and frazzled, clearly not planning on being caught. It was the first time she had seen him without a smile on his face all day.

“Harry, you were the thing that was making me feel unsafe,” she said, playfully scolding him through giggles. She watched as his face fell in a flood of relief that she wasn’t angry with him. “If you told me that you were going to follow me home anyway, I would have taken the ride.”

“I’m sorry.” He hung his head and ran a stressed hand through his curls.

“It’s okay, Harry,” she smiled softly. “I appreciate you caring enough to make sure I got home.” She rested a hand on the passenger side door handle. “And now you’re going to drive me the rest of the way home to make up for making me get off my normal route,” she laughed as she pulled on the handle and settled herself into the passenger seat.

The car was old, but clean and it smelled like the cologne he wore that she had picked up on a few times throughout the day. He was quiet, hanging his head like a child who had been caught with his hands in the cookie jar, as she directed him towards her flat. “I’m sorry, again,” was all he said when he pulled up in front of the building.

“Don’t be,” she smirked, using the same words she had earlier in the day when discussing her breakup. She exited the car, giving him a wave, and a call of “I’ll see you tomorrow,” before entering the building and shutting the door behind her.

***

Over the next few weeks, Harry and Y/N became fast friends.

After about a week of begging, she finally broke down and allowed him to pick her up and drive her home from work every day. Their morning rides consisted of the perpetually peppy and excitable morning person in the driver's seat blabbering on about something he saw on the news while he was getting ready or going on about a new book he was reading, while she would settle her still sleepy head on the window and rest her eyes for just a few more minutes before their day was forced to begin. At the end of the day, Harry was the quiet one, letting her recount the day (usually complaining about unruly customers or people that would sit and steal their wifi all day without ordering anything), while he drove her at a painfully slow pace to her flat. He always waited until she got inside the building, even asking her to text him when she got inside her tiny flat.

“I just want to make sure you got inside safe,” he would argue when she teased him about it.

“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” she would rebut.

“Then I’m not coming to help you anymore when you can’t figure out the milk steamer, Baby Barista.”

“Don’t threaten me with that stupid milk steamer. It has so many buttons you need to work for NASA to understand it,” she would groan, only to be met with a teasing glare from the curly man next to her. “Fine, I take it back,” she would always concede.

His protectiveness was not unwelcome to her. If she was being honest with herself, Harry was the only real friend she had made since she made the move to London and she was quickly becoming heart crushingly lonely. She took any care that anyone in the new and scary city was willing to give her with open arms.  

He was her only friend. They got on so well, she couldn’t deny that she enjoyed the extra few minutes she spent with him every morning and evening in the car. Maybe even a little too much.

At work, there was usually a chorus of laughter and giggles coming from their direction as Harry had taken her under his wing while she learned the ropes. There were days they would stay late after they had been off the clock making drinks over and over again; him patiently teaching, and her desperately trying to learn. There were definitely a few failures along the way, but they were always met with a teasing joke and then careful step-by-step directions on how she could fix it.

Technically Harry was her boss, store manager to be specific, but they worked alongside each other seamlessly, him never barking orders at her or using a harsh or authoritative tone.

Until today.

Y/N had been talking to one of their regulars, Robby, after she delivered an Americano to his table in the corner while it was particularly slow. Robby came in often, always shooting Y/N a bright smile and peppering compliments into their quick conversations. He was gorgeous, she couldn’t deny that; he had deep brown skin and an athletic build that she was sure was muscular under the thick sweater he was wearing to protect him from the cold. But he wasn’t her type, a little too arrogant and self-obsessed for her liking, always figuring out a way to turn their quick conversations back to himself. While it was fun to flirt with him, she knew it would never go any further than that.

“When do you get off?” Robby had asked suddenly, derailing their conversation away from the drink she had just delivered him. “I would love to take you out and see you in something other than that god awful apron.”

“Hey! I quite like my apron,” she playfully feigned offense, reaching to lightly swat him on the arm. “And while I appreciate your offer, I just got out of something pretty long term and I’m really not looking for anything right now. I’m sorry, Robby.” She forced a friendly pout onto her face, pretending like she was actually sorry for denying him.

Before he could respond, she heard an annoyed voice call her name from behind the counter. Whipping her head around to see who it was, she found Harry wearing an annoyed and frustrated face she had never seen him make before, especially not directed towards her. “We need some help back here. You have a job to do, remember?” he scolded, eyebrows furrowed and jaw steeled.

Her cheeks flushed white hot, embarrassed to be reprimanded like that in front of the whole shop. She hung her head in shame as she quickly walked back behind the counter. She was beyond embarrassed, suddenly uncomfortable in a place she had finally begun to come into her own in. She was learning and doing a good job, at least that was what she had been told, by both Isla and Harry; but the uneasy feeling in her stomach kept her from feeling comfortable for the rest of the day.

She carefully and quietly navigated behind the counter for the rest of her shift, sheepishly doing her best to stay out of her coworkers’ way and just do her job.

For the first time, she was slapped in the face with the reality that Harry wasn’t just her friend; he was her boss. He had an authority over her, and could probably get her in trouble with the owner, or even fired if he really wanted to. Navigating a business-like relationship was awkward and abnormal for them both, but Y/N decided she needed to learn how to quickly.

There was another reason his silent treatment seemed to hurt, one that Y/N had been trying her best to ignore. An undeniable crush had begun to build in her for the bright and bubbly man, despite however hard she had tried to fight it.

Harry made her feel safe, always keeping an eye out for her and trying to make sure she was alright. He made her laugh more than anyone she had ever known and their chemistry together felt electric. But what warmed her heart, and what now hurt the most, was that it felt like he cared about her just as much as she cared for him.

But now, it all felt like a fairytale she had built up in her head.

Their usual banter and giggles fell quiet for the rest of their day, reducing to curt directions from Harry and understanding hums from Y/N, following his orders without question or comment. Even Isla was quiet, not daring to breach the tension the pair had created between themselves.

The car ride home was quiet and strained that day.

But she still texted him when she was safe inside her flat.

***

While she had prayed that the next day would be like any other, their morning ride to work was filled with much of the same silence.

Harry fiddled with the heat and the radio in an effort to avoid her eyes or having to make conversation, eventually settling on a station that was playing old classic rock she didn’t recognize. He drove like she wasn’t even in the car, staring silently ahead at the road. She sat stiffly in the passenger seat fiddling with her fingers, not daring to get comfortable in a space that was all his.  

At work, they both held tight to the tension, only muttering at each other when absolutely necessary. She kept her head down and just did what she was told to do.

She was at the counter when a woman approached the coffee bar, seeming to bark her order for an extra hot cappuccino with extra foam at Y/N. Her face was twisted into an angry pout, like she had just smelled something bad, and spat her words out her words. Y/N just nodded and breathed a “yes, maam,” unable to fight with any nasty customers today while her head was so occupied with Harry. She was off her game.

The woman hovered at the counter, watching intensely and tapping her foot impatiently as Y/N fought with the dreaded milk steamer attachment to one of their large industrial machines. She would have sworn that she pressed the extra hot setting.

Passing the full mug to the woman at the register, Y/N watched as she took a long sip of the drink before paying, something that wasn’t really allowed, but Y/N just didn’t have the fight in her today to reprimand her.

“That will be £2,” Y/N spoke softly with as much sweetness as she could muster, afraid of what could come out of the woman’s mouth. She watched as her face turned even more sour than before after she finished the long drag from the cup.

“I’m not paying for this,” she declared, nose stuck high in the air.

“I’m sorry?” Y/N asked with confusion clear in her voice. “Is there something wrong with it?”

“It’s not extra hot and there is no extra foam.”

“Okay, I’m very sorry about that,” she said apologetically, even though she knew for a fact the drink had both of those things, and released an exhausted sigh. “I will make you another.”

The woman’s eyes flicked down the counter in Harry’s direction, rudely snapping her fingers at him to catch his attention. He was hunched over the back counter, somehow worsening his already terrible posture, trying to eat a sandwich as fast as he could before his break was over. “Are you her boss?” she shouted at him, even though he could have heard her without raising her voice at him.

Y/N’s eyes were already filled with anxiety when Harry connected his with her’s, seeming to wordlessly ask what was going on and Isla watched on in terror. She felt her body try to shrink away from the woman before her and Harry as he came closer.

“I’m the store manager. Is there something going on that I could help with?” His eyes kept flashing back and forth between Y/N and the woman, trying to decipher the situation without words.

“I want you to remake my drink.”

“I’m actually on a break-”

“No,” she cut him off mid-sentence. “If she makes my drink again, she is just going to fuck it up all over again. She’s obviously incompetent.”

Y/N eyes flew open at her words, a mix of shock and hurt running through her. With her heart beginning to race, never one for confrontation, she wanted to melt into the floor and disappear all together.

Harry’s face hardened at the woman as she hurled insults towards Y/N. Stepping in front of her, as if putting his body between her and the woman could protect her from her harsh words, he took a deep breath before he began to speak again. “First of all, you will not speak to anyone who works here like that,” he defended her. “Second, I’m sure she’s completely capable of making your drink again if you give her a moment.”

“I don’t want her to make it and I have places to be,” she continued to fight. “I don’t have time for some pathetic newbie to give it another try.”

Her comments hit Y/N hard in her existing feelings of inadequacy and before she knew it, her vision was beginning to blur. She felt like this woman was repeatedly kicking her while she was already down.

“You have to leave.”

Harry’s voice was angry. It wasn’t the frustration or annoyance she had heard the day before, and it was a far departure from the kind and patient tone she had grown to love since she began working at the shop. It was full of anger, something she had never heard from him and an emotion she hadn’t even been sure he could feel before this point.

“I’m not leaving until I get another drink that’s correct and free.”

“I will call the cops if you don’t leave right now.”

Y/N couldn’t stand to watch this unfold before her any longer. An anxious weight had settled on her chest and she had felt the tears begin to roll. She was gone from the counter, running towards the soundproof walk-in fridge in the back hall. She planned on shutting herself inside and sobbing until she froze.

She stood in the freezing chill, holding her arms tight to her frame, desperate to keep herself warm and shield herself from the wrath that was playing out in the cafe. The cold seemed to ground her and the distance she had put between herself and the woman eased her stress, but the tears continued to flow as her eyes ran over the stock of the fridge in an attempt to distract herself.

A knock came from outside the heavy metal door that startled her, a soft and patient voice that she knew so well called through. “Y/N, are you okay? Can I come in?”

After doing her best to wipe the tears off her raw and cold cheeks, she choked out a small “yes.”

The door carefully opened and she was met with a soft and empathetic gaze from the only person she wanted to comfort her. He breathed a soft “come here,” before he opened his arms wide. She bolted into them, letting his giant frame envelop her whole in the warmth that always radiated from him. Y/N let herself weep softly into his chest as the dizzying scent of his cologne took over her senses.

He held her close to him for a few moments, letting her get all her emotions out, before releasing her body and taking her face into his somehow still warm hands, using his thumbs to swipe away a few more tears that had managed to escape.

“I don’t think that I even messed her drink up,”she broke the silence, feeling pathetic as he held her in his hands.

“I know you didn’t. She won’t be coming back.”

“Thank you for defending me,” she said, hiccuping as she stared into his comforting eyes. “I feel so stupid. I’m sorry.” She went to pull away, but he continued to hold her close.

“No, this is all my fault,” he shook his head slightly, eyebrows drawn together in concern. “If I hadn’t been such a dick yesterday then none of this would have happened. I’m so sorry.” His eyes held honesty, determined to be granted absolution by the girl before him.

“I don’t like it when we don’t get along,” she squeaked. “I really don’t like it when you yell at me and make me feel like I’m not doing my job well.”

He sighed hard, his face looking like his brain was going a mile a minute. “I have to be honest with you,” he confessed. “I wasn’t acting like an asshole yesterday because you weren't doing your job; you were just doing fine. I was upset you were flirting with that guy.”

She felt her lips fall into a small ‘oh.’ While she hadn’t meant anything by what she thought was harmless flirting, Harry hadn’t known that. The frustration and annoyance she had heard was in actuality all jealousy.

“You were jealous?” she asked softly, bringing a hand up to hold over one of his own that were still holding her face.

“Well, yeah,” he said with an awkward shrug. “I just thought that there might be something between us.”

He looked so adorable like this, slightly uncomfortable and shy. She looked at him intensely as an excited bubble began to form in her stomach at the idea that this massive crush had been mutual the whole time.

“There is.”

She couldn’t hold back her smile any longer, a grin breaking out onto her face as she nodded at him. The cold of the fridge was no longer nipping at her skin, her whole body radiating a flattered and excited blush of heat. The screaming she had just endured felt long behind her although it had only been a few minutes.

He mirrored her giddy expression. She watched as all the tension in his face began to melt away in relief and it reminded her of the look on his face when she teased him after he followed her home that first day.

“Oh, thank god,” he breathed. “I was so worried that you were going to friendzone me forever.”

“I thought you were going to employee-zone me,” she chuckled.

“Are you going to kiss me or keep staring?”

A wide cheeky smile stretched across his lips, before she reached up and connected hers to his. The kiss was caring and sweet, but it felt like it sealed something she had been feeling since the first day they had met.

Their lips moved smoothly against each other, interrupted occasionally by a smile one of them couldn’t contain or a giggle that slipped from one of their mouths. She wasn’t nervous or overwhelmed by his proximity. She was so comfortable in his embrace. He was her best friend, after all.

They broke apart after a few moments, giant grins plastered on their faces that neither of them could manage to wipe away. “I liked that a lot,” Harry beamed, a boyish flush to his cheeks.

“Me too,” she mirrored him.

They spent a few more minutes in the fridge, swirling in a daze of infatuation and affection. “Do you think anyone heard us?” he asked softly, looking over towards the large metal door that had been left open a crack, before it flung open and they were met with a thrilled Isla.

“Yes, I heard you!” she exclaimed. “It’s about time!”

Thank you so much for reading! Feedback/Reblogs mean the world!! 

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

I finally finished Resident Evil 7

This was copied from my DeviantArt journal before I posted it.

So it just struck 12 am in my area...and I finished it a few minutes ago and so...

Well...in a nutshell, I did like it. But when washing my when getting a drink. I told myself twice strangely...I felt disappointed.

So some spoilers, nothing REALLY huge. But okay, the game has been out for 4 years...

Honestly, that was an enjoyable experience. I don't think it's really a bad game. Or so, but the disappointment part is...something else. 

So I finished the ship part as Mia and luckily no deaths during that part. But I will admit this, I had to go to YT on my PS4 to find out how this puzzle worked in a room. And I did not fully watch a video of how to get the captain's key. But once I saw it was kind of connected to that puzzle. I didn't need to finish it.

Also, I felt stupid that I could have possibly saved some of my items in the item box that would of helped me in the present time somehow. But I did pretty fine. I'll be honest, I kind of rushed the last part of this game. I got Mia's items and I was fully loaded and ready to kick more ass. Sadly as that went on, I couldn't discard my grenade launcher and use my explosives or even at that time, change that shortcut weapons. Those explosives would have helped against those bigger guys. 

But as I went through the final part of the game. Gonna admit I went, "Ohhhhhhh" at Mia being able to use a submachine gun. Which I used during the final parts of the game. Along with the pistol and shotgun. Discovered Eveline's desire do simply be loved despite her origin and me going, "Ohhhhhhhhh" and just trying to finish the game.

And this time...the guarding option is actually needed for this...and it works....

I just want to admit. It's also my fault because I kind of rushed things...but it just...ends so quickly...also the fact I did play the game on easy mode. I just wanted to experience this game and take it easy on myself. Only had one death from Eveline during her final boss. It goes so quickly...and not what I had expected...and the ending is...I mean, kind of sweet I guess...but just...it's the fact that I know how RE8 goes and I have some criticisms for the story of RE7...

Because I seriously enjoy the first and second half of this game. And the ship section doesn't bother me that much. But there are some decisions made with this game...

I will admit this. I have told a friend that in a way, I've kind of disowned these two latest recent entries in the main series. Not like fully disown like I don't acknowledge them. But in a way like, I don't wanna consider these next two games canon...because of some things that disappointed me. It's kind of personal in a way. That I have literally said I don't want Resident Evil 9...

And I have thought recently that in a way, the Resident Evil series to me ended with 6. But I'm sounding really crazy. From a gameplay standpoint, the scare factor, and a lot things. Resident Evil 7 does a lot of things right. But there decisions with the writing and even from the start...that I'd would just rather rewrite these two games. And I haven't even finished RE8...

Those were my quick thoughts on RE7. I finally finished it. I may play the DLC chapters like, "Not A Hero" and, "End Of Zoe" sometime. Or even restart the game. Because I really liked the Baker residence. It was an enjoyable and scary experience.

Bonus thing for Tumblr. I took this picture of the result screen.

Tried to get this right and I thought it moved. As like, I by mistake made a video. But that wouldn’t make sense. 

[migleefulmoments]

Abb/y has something to s/ay

Let me premise this by reminding everyone that Abby -like Trump-doesn’t “get” comedy. They literally do not understand jokes, punchlines, or humor. So a satirical show about the Hollywood song writers falls flat. Her time away did nothing to sway her conspiratorial aspirations or her misogynistic hatred of Mia. She watched Royalties not once, but twice... not to enjoy Darren’s creativity and performance, not to support the celebrity she stans, and not even to crack up at the humor, no she watched twice because she was looking for confirmation bias. She wanted to document all of the ways Darren wrote his CrissColfer truth into Pierce’s life and she obsessively listened to all of the diss-tracks he wrote to attack his wife.  

Let me also premise this by saying I loved the show. I thought it was funny and the songs are so damn catchy.  The lyrics are quintessential Darren- funny, very clever, and raunchy.  

******************************************

R/oyalties, the Tale of Two Shows with a Heaping Side of Meta

ajw720. So I just finished watching R/oyalties for the second time, this time solely focused on the meta.  Look, we all know, the show is not good, it was not well written and the short format didn’t help as there was no option to develop character or plot.  But D knew it would not be good, he apologized for it back in January 2019.  And I think the effort he put into acting was the effort it deserved. Ok.

But his songs were genius.  As were the videos, hence why i call it the tale of two shows.  It truly was like watching content made by completely different people. I concur with MH, D is “intensely talented.”  And the part of this show he poured his blood, sweat, and tears into, the songs, are evident of this.

But this is a post about that Heaping Side of Meta. I think D, knowing that that show would not be made in the manner he envisioned, instead used it as a vehicle to make some bold statements and parallels with his career and public life.  Shall we begin?  And please, unlike the perfect song, this is not a perfect post and after the second round of watching i canceled my Quibi subscription and never plan to look back, so please feel free to add. I know some of these have been pointed out but I thought it was valuable to have one post.

One idea to inpsire the song?  A tiny FROG on a dime.

D’s shirt 1st seen in Episode 2: “It is hard to soar like an Eagle when you are surrounded by turkeys”

And of course “Call me Goldilocks bitch”  Remind you of something?

How about the entirety of Episode 3 when we are told that an artist is completely the product of the team.  That no matter what the artists expresses they want, it doesn’t matter because the Label/manager/publicist/on camera agent/legal will always have a say. And how it will play in America or the Foreign market are key metrics of how the product is produced and presented.  I love the line of the songwriter that tells P/ierce and S/ara to “get out while they are young.”  Or the line by one of her team “we don’t want something different, we want something the same that is different.”  And in the end P&S simply took one of KK old songs and reworked it, making something different that is not different and her team loved it.  

And of course, the line that was an utter slap in the face to the most over praised “director” of an indie band video ever when D reminds her of the real director in his life, the man set to direct major motion pictures, “you know who would be perfect to direct? C/hris.  C/hris would shatter this.”

Not much in Episode 4, but the gorilla suit in my opinion was mocking of a certain MMR video where we watched Swiller and a banana in a song about a gorilla.  Images I never need to see in my head again.

Episode 5, a gem, I am still so fucking proud of D and how he mocked her throughout the entirety of the episode.  New lines I love of that amazing song he wrote about her (in addition to those i posted previously here) “Some people say I’m a  genius, which comes from the greek word for Latin, and other people will say, alright in fact i’m a fuckin’s genius” “I’m not saying I’m a god, but I’m not saying I’m not a god.”  Mocking at its finest made all that much better by the band’s name “Switchback Jacket” that D describes as “butt rock emo” that is performed by a band that doesn’t actually sing, they are just the public image.  He literally told us that what we see is an image created for the public and that it is completely fake.  And he used his beard to make this statement. Just brilliant.  I cannot praise him enough for this, stealing her moment in the sun and making her look like an utter fool, telling us just how narcissistic she is.

Also some wonderful lines from that episode that are beyond telling:

“Power, it felt good to remind Kevin that I hold power over him. You always want to be the one with power”

“p/ierce wouldn’t know where to take a shit if I didn’t tell him.”

“she is like my wife except we don’t have sex and we are friends.”

“alright boss, I am ready to record that song, but where should i take a shit?”

“You will do anything to succeed.”

Episode 8 starring “Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild” an episode used to shine a light on how absurd it is that people believe D&PBB lived with platonic roomie B/enny for something like 4 years.  3 grown ass adults, all of whom have money to spare lived together in a relatively small house for four years.  It is pure comedy that anyone would believe that this is normal.  But hey these are the same people that explained away the infamous arm around her while at an awards show with D looking on:

And the cherry on top of this episode, the inclusion of C/huck (for some background, see my post here).

I really like the one bit of dialogue between P&S, where D pretty much tells us once again that M will use anyone to get what she wants:

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe just maybe, I don’t like where we are now? There were a lot of really great things about the way things were.  Things that are worth preserving.  Not that you just take and use and through out.”

Episode 9 had some really impactful lines:

“you think i wouldn’t steal for my career? You think I wouldn’t lie?  I would do anything.”

The Neils being the nameless individuals, nothing more than a number, who are the ones who actually create the product.  And then the song, some of the translations are D telling you how he feels, because sometimes i think in terms of his public image he is just a Neil trying to escape the cage that has been built around him:

“I dream about getting away, I have been locked up in this cage wishing i could make my escape. I hate that I need you.”

And finally Episode 10, where we learn the Neils get no credit and no royalties. This reminds me of a script C wrote that never saw the light of day but suddenly the next season of AHS had the same theme as his script.

And that is all i got, if you have more please add. I think the fact that D took what he knew would be a mediocre project and projected his voice and story throughout it was pretty genius and a smart way to utilize this vehicle, that was clearly payout for so many that have used him for years and to shine a bright light on the truth.

elicc  The “perfect song”’s performer is called Bailey Rouge, a clear link to TLOS.

He is a genius.

ajw720   @elicc damn, that was on my list and I forgot. And we all know who Red is inspired by, so seems fitting Bailey Rouge would get the perfect song.

ajw720. Just adding one more I thought about putting in my original post but admittedly think it’s a stretch. But maybe not? Just adding here for fun.

When Theo tells P to bottle up all his romantic feelings I couldn’t help but think of a certain chapter in a book

*******************************************

Oy Vei! Abby didn’t use her time away getting any therapy or perspective.  She hasn’t learned any lessons. I have no doubt she’s been reading just as much as she did before and she’s speaking to Cassie, Flowers et al all day. It’s really sad. It’s sad that she can’t see how silly she sounds, what an asshole her version of Darren is. If she could restrain herself even a little bit it might come off less unhinged because turning every single moment of Royalties into some crisscolfer wet dream reeks of desperation. 

Abby hates Royalties. In last week’s “Dear D” she had the audacity to say 

....Fans that are beyond devoted and mainly because of the way you have treated fans with respect and a level of caring that far surpasses the majority of public figures.  And while I am not enjoying the show itself, the music shows how diverse you are as a writer and how you can virtually write for anyone or any genre. The songs are fantastic.  Memorable.  And really fun.  

She knows the the Langs wrote the show and Darren wrote the songs but what she can’t seem to comprehend is that Darren IS Royalties. Everything in the show is Darren’s.  

Staying in the closet would be less painful than trying to express oneself through a short-form satirical comedy.  Can you imagine trying to express your devastation and pain through Kick Your Shoes off or Break It In? 

“I’m the king of the hard fuck....pile drive the bed like a young buck...if you like feathery shit thats pretty cool but I don’t need that...people say I fuck too soft, saying that I can’t please a woman” 

BTW Abby- “call me goldilocks bitch” isn’t a reference to TLOS it’s a reference to Goldilocks and Three Bears because because he fucks perfect, not too soft, not too hard. It’s much more believable that he is referring to a random nursery rhyme than it is to believe he is referring to a children’s book his lover/husband/boyfriend wrote 8 years ago. You might love the book but Chris has moved on and written new things. 

Darren wrote funny lyrics. I loved Kick Your Shoes Off because it’s written by a man whose watched his wife and female friends wear painful shoes for the same of fashion even though its painful as fuck.   

“Yeah, I’m a bad bitch so don’t be mad bitch. I turned the room into a catwalk like a sad bitch. I can’t feel my toes in these stilettos. when I walk out my roomate says you’ll regret those....Beauty is pain but oh I look amazing.  You won’t hear me complaining but oh my instep (inside?) is screaming...kick your shoes off (kick em off) ooooooo I do what I want..(Kick em off) ooooo Hey I can’t walk in these, blisters start to bleed now both my feet are swollen. Kick your shoes off (Kick em off).....It’s like i feel so good when my shoes are on, but like i also feel sooooo good when they are off” 

Abby’s convinced I am So Much Better Than You is straight up about Mia because Mia is in the video. She listened to it on repeat the day after it came out. In her “Letter to D” last week she said 

Especially after you made an effort to mock her for the entirety of Tuesday when her episode aired (and for the record I am still really, really proud of what you did with that episode and how you handled the roll out, that is the fighter I admire and that inspires me.  I listened to I am so much better than you on repeat on my drive home from work yesterday).   

Good Lord  The lyrics are as silly as all the other songs: “My mirror wants to bone me (but it can’t because it’s a mirror)” How did Abby miss the obvious TLOS mirror/ Halloween costume reference here?  

“You keep doing push ups while I get buff eating mac and cheese (with overpriced lobster and truffles because I’m worth it)”  

“Some people say I’m a genius (which comes from the greek work for latin) Some other people will say yeah I’m right I’m a fucking genius (I’m not saying I’m a god but I’m not saying I’m not a god). 

“And even when you sneeze, God blesses me, he blesses me. And even when you sneeze, god blesses me, he blesses me, he blesses me”

“I’m am so much better than you at everything”. 

She believes Darren would be- and stay- married to a women that he publicly ridicules and attacks. I don’t get why she thinks that is something admirable . 

She thinks Also You is referring to Ben living with them.  Where to start with this one? She says

“Episode 8 starring “Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild” an episode used to shine a light on how absurd it is that people believe D&PBB lived with platonic roomie B/enny for something like 4 years.  3 grown ass adults, all of whom have money to spare lived together in a relatively small house for four years.  It is pure comedy that anyone would believe that this is normal.  But hey these are the same people that explained away the infamous arm around her while at an awards show with D looking on”

I’m gobsmacked.  Also You is about Polyamory. She doesn’t even understand her own theories if she thinks that is the message Darren wants to share about Mia and Ben.  In no world would someone try to proclaim their wife was cheating on them with a live-in houseguest by writing an episode called Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild.  Also, someone needs to explain cuckholding to her because her theories about Ben and Mia make Darren a cuck.  

OMG I just realized that Darren is a cuck and Royalties proves it.  He hired Kether to be his costar in Royalties,...Kether is in You’re the Worst as Lindsay.  Lindsay cuckholds her husband. Bam! mic drop.   

Why isn’t Perfect Song about Mia, you know, if we are playing confirmation bias “No one is as good as you because you're my perfect song” 

[gustafsnightangel]

A Softer Side Part 6

“Sounds good.”

“I’d be there in person but I can’t leave. We need to keep her hidden and alive.”

“Absolutely.” Steve paused. “Have you heard from Meekland?”

“She fired me and Jerry.”

“Same with me and Davis. Good to know we’ve been given the green light to fuck shit up.”

“Oh we’re going to do more than fuck it up.” Strand chuckled.

“You sniffing something boss?” He could hear the grin in Wainwright’s voice.

“We have the syndicate and all their buyers and sellers. Once this trio of girls have been sold for the year we’re going to razz their entire operation to the ground.”

“Count me in.”

“Absolutely.” He eyed Ayla as she jumped out of her chair and moved to him, the urgent look on her face piqued his interest. “I’ll get Jerry to open a link between us and forward the information we have.”

“I’ll do the same.” Strand hung up as Ayla tapped him on the arm lightly and waved him to follow.

“Slow down Ayla.” He said gently, knowing the speed at which she was moving was painful to her. She pointed to a photo of Meekland on one of the monitors and tapped a few keys bringing up all the information on his boss. Some of it he knew, some of it he didn’t. “What’s the connection?” His brow furrowed as she tapped her DNA laptop and turned it for him to see the screen. Tapping her photo on the large monitor she then tapped her laptop. “That’s Meekland?” He asked looking at her with bewilderment and she nodded. There was more than tears in her eyes, there was sorrow, remorse. “You’re sure?” She nodded and pointed to herself and then at Meekland. “You knew her?”She nodded. “Was she one of the stolen infants?” She nodded again and opened up another file on her laptop. Strand began to read as she sat, eyes watching him intently.

“I know this is an old photo but why is this guy familiar?” He said and tapped her laptop screen without thinking and it went dark. “Shit sorry.” She logged back in and shrugged as if it were no big deal. Turning to the bank of monitors she brought up the commanding officer of their department, Meekland’s boss. “Oh fuck me.” He breathed. “I never saw it.” He felt his gut plummet. All this time they’d been fucking each other, the dominance play, he’d never even considered. He felt sick as his thoughts churned along with his stomach. “He bought her.” He stated more than asked.

Ayla’s hand rested on his to comfort, but he flinched and slapped it away, not caring if it hurt, not giving a shit as she scrambled away. He recoiled violently at the thoughts screaming through his head. Standing abruptly he walked away without a word, needing space, needing to crawl out of his own skin, needing to fucking breathe.

“Karl.” Mia said sternly as he stormed past her and out the French doors. “What the fuck was that?” She snapped.

“She was one of them Mia.” He spat pacing the dirt. “Sarah Meekland.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about. You slapped Ayla’s hand away, did you forget what ninth circle of hell you just pulled her from?” She seethed.

All Strand could do was glare at her.

“She was only doing what you asked her to do. Just because you found out something about an ex girlfriend that even your black heart managed to love doesn’t give you the right to slap her away and treat her like shit.”

“I never said I loved her and we’re not together.”

“You didn’t have to, it’s practically written over your face.” She snarked.

“Don’t you fucking dare.” He warned, he was in no mood for her sarcasm or teasing.

“You fucked her again didn’t you? After everything she put you through the first time, you fucked her again?” She said in disbelief.

“We both needed to blow off steam.” He mumbled. “It’s just sex.”

“Ok sure, I get that, but despite who she is and how she was raised, she nearly killed you Strand, you do remember that yes?”

“Fuck you Mia.”

“No.” She snarled and got in his face, which for a petite girl of 5’ 2”, was impressive. “Fuck you. I was the one who had to bring you back from the brink after that op went south on her orders, so fuck you Karl.” She drilled a finger into his chest. “You almost died in my fucking arms.” She spat, the tears in her voice evidence of how much she cared about him. “So fuck you for doing the one thing I asked you not to do, to not get personally involved with that soul sucking bitch again.” He reached for her. “Don’t you fucking touch me.” She snarled and slapped his hand away, the contact painful. “You treat Ayla like that again and I’ll fucking murder you in your sleep. You were right, you’re no good for her.” The barb struck deep as it had been intended. “You’re such an asshole.” She turned and walked back inside, it was only then he saw Ayla at the door, witness to everything they’d just said, turn, and disappear from view.

“Fuck!” He snarled, the overwhelming urge to shoot something thrumming through him.

It took him nearly an hour to pace and calm down, the look skyward at the stars and the moon making him feel so much worse than Ayla hearing his dirty laundry. “Well, I’ve been trying to tell you I’m an asshole, now you know.” He breathed and mentally kicked himself. “Fucking relationships.” He growled, sitting in the dirt he stared at the moon. Every interaction, every moment with Sarah went through his head, pulling it apart, analyzing it. The sex between them had always been consensual, had always been rough. Not once had she uttered her safe word or a color for stop, and her pain threshold was virtually non existent. “That should have been a red flag right there.” He muttered. How was he to know who she really was, her background, her upbringing?

******

It was almost midnight when he ventured back inside, the house quiet. Thinking everyone had gone to bed he turned for the rec room and saw Ayla still working hard and his heart cracked, had he hurt her too? Mia was nowhere to be found and Jerry’s door was shut which meant he was probably passed out.

He went to take a shower, the need to feel clean before he tried to mend the rift with Ayla. When he came back out she wasn’t at the computer. Standing at her bedroom door he saw the silhouette of her tiny body curled up, pressed against the wall. “Sweet girl.” He choked and walked to her, she shrank back as he sat next to her. “I know you’re angry at me and I’m sorry, but don’t sleep here sweet girl, get comfortable and warm in bed.” She shook her head and pulled away from him, the keening whimper warning him to back off. “Ok.” He sighed. “Ok. You can come lay down with me when you’re ready too.” She wanted nothing to do with him, that vacant stare breaking him, he’d caused that. He’d caused her to withdraw, to scamper away from him like a kicked puppy. Climbing into the bed he could hear the soft sobs and knew he may never get her to trust him again.

Karl woke to an empty room, the other side of the bed undisturbed, she’d slept on the floor all night and disappeared before he’d woken. “Back to square one.” He sighed to the ceiling and felt like the asshole he was. Venturing to the rec room he saw Jerry hard at work, the girls nowhere to be seen.

“Morning boss.”

“Morning. Mia and Ayla?” He asked taking a seat and watching the feed of the prime merch factory.

“No clue but our feed is up.”

“Thanks.” He said quietly.

“Not me, Ayla had it up last night.” He said pointing at the monitor. “She found background on all of them, the missing pieces from her laptop.”

“Pity we can’t print it off.”

“She did, well, sort of.” Jerry looked at him. “She didn’t show you?”

“Show me what?” He snarled.

Jerry pulled her DNA laptop over and started to pull up the data.

“How come you can touch it?” He asked growled.

“She gave me access, to everything.” Strand touched the screen and it shut down.

“No surprises there.” He growled.

“Did something happen I don’t know about?” Jerry asked and Karl pinched the bridge of his nose as he told Jerry what happened last night. “Oh.” He said simply.

“Yeah, I fucked up.” Karl scrubbed a hand over his face and paced. “So where do we stand with all the information, the case?” He had to just get on with it.

“The prime merch is under surveillance, we have background and parental info. Once we shut this down we can reunite. Ayla found the link to the milk money and I was right, runaways and homeless, the occasional school kid but those were borderline runaways. She’s taken every missing persons list from every county nationwide and run it against the websites buy/sell list, we’re still getting hits and that list is going to be astronomical. The websites have been up and running since the dawn of the internet.”

“So this goes deeper than Allen Raven.”

“Much deeper, though that part of the case will be for another time, we’re still collecting info.” Jerry leaned back in his chair and pulled the laptop into his lap. “The op is set, we have weeks to observe, but where it gets interesting is where Meekland’s involved. This asshole.” He tapped the screen in front of him and a photo of her boss filled it. “Is a prime merch purchaser. He’s a prime asshole too, but we’ll shelve that rant for another day. He’s purchased six girls over the past thirty years funneling money from the company we’re a part of, correction, were a part of. That’s a girl every five years, Meekland was, or is, his first, and he’s up for a new girl this year. He usually takes the third 16 year old prime Raven has to offer.”

“Good, we’ll be geared up to take his ass down. What happened to the others?” Strand asked already knowing the answer.

“We’re still running the searches for them. They’re either dead or chained somewhere much like Ayla was. There’s also connections to others in the department, some on Meekland’s list, some that Ayla found on top of it.”

“She’s uncovered all of this?” He looked at Jerry.

“I’m only just scratching the surface of information she has on here.” He said tapping her laptop. “Every transaction, every girl, prime down to milk money, every client and what they like.”

“She’s trying to right wrongs that aren’t even hers.” He murmured, echoing Mia’s words from the other day.

“She’s trying to help you.” Jerry said gently.

“I really fucked up didn’t I?”

“Yeah you did boss, but she’ll come around, give her time.”

“And what if she doesn’t?”

“She will, she loves you, you saved her.” Hunt said gently.

“I hit her.” Strand snarled.

“You slapped her hand away, it’s not the same as what was done to her and you know it.” Jerry said finding his spine.

“It may as well have been a full on backhand across the face.”

“Boss, that’s not who you are, but you did it and you can’t take it back.”

“No I can’t, and she may never trust me again.”

“Give her some time, Mia too.” Hunt said and got back down to it knowing Karl wasn’t one to talk about his feelings. They were all on edge, maybe the distance was for the best.

******

Strand spent the day reading and compiling notes on their next op, monitoring the feed from Wainwright. When it was apparent the girls were not going to surface he set his own searches to run, his own lists to compile and went to bed early, Jerry doing much the same. This would be their routine for the following weeks leading up to the op.

He was restless, the thoughts of what he’d done to Ayla, to Mia, how did he fix it? Time sure, mending the rift with Mia was easy enough, it wasn’t the first time they’d gone head to head, but Ayla? He may never be able to fully mend that chasm between them now. “Mia was right, I’m no fucking good for you sweet girl.” He growled and punched the pillow trying to make it more comfortable. “No fucking good at all.”

******

The following morning Strand made his way out to a silent house, the girls were still tucked away somewhere, his only concern was Ayla. Was she eating, sleeping, was she ok? Mia, he knew would surface eventually and they’d snarl at each other again for a while and things would get back to normal. Ayla on the other hand, she was alone again, he’d left her alone, the one thing he’d promised he wouldn’t do. With his thoughts on Ayla he sat and noticed his searches were complete, his notes compiled, and new searches running along roughly the same lines as his thoughts were at the new data.

“Ayla left that running for you this morning.” Jerry said as he sat, handing a coffee to Karl.

“She...” He breathed. “Was Mia with her?” He asked and Jerry shook his head.

“I haven’t seen Mia.” He said and Strand nodded.

“She’ll be back when she’s ready to strip another layer of skin from my hide.” He snarked and sipped his coffee. “Quite rightly.” He added in a low growl.

Settling in at the computer he got to work, more reading, more notes, more tugging loose ends to see what they unraveled. Jerry did much the same, the pair working in a comfortable silence. That would be their routine for the next few weeks. Get up, silently thank Ayla for finding whatever she was able to find for him and Jerry, work, sleep, rinse, repeat.

He put Ayla out of his mind as much as he could, he had to if this op was going to be successful, which was increasingly difficult as the days turned into weeks. He missed her, that slight smile, her touch, her kiss, the way she looked at him as if he was her whole world.

“Shit.” He snarled one night as he sat outside looking up at the moon, the soft halo that surrounded it. “That’s because you are her whole world you fuckhead.” He swore, this was all she knew outside of the concrete shit hole Raven had put her in, he was all she knew. Coming back into the house he wasn’t expecting to see Ayla at the computers, working hard to find them whatever lead she could. He felt his breath rush out at the sight of her, she’d put on weight, the gaunt, frail look gone from her limbs.

Without hesitation he walked to her and dropped to his knees beside her, he’d grovel if he had to, anything to make it right. He saw her hands freeze on the keys as he turned her chair and rested his forehead on her knees.

“I’m sorry.” He choked. “I’m so fucking sorry.” He knew this had freaked her out just by the way she sat stock still, barely breathing. He kept his hands in his lap, not trusting himself to touch her in case he damaged their tenuous relationship any further. “Nothing, absolutely nothing excuses my behavior, for slapping your hand away, for terrifying you, hurting you. I’m sorry.” He stared at her bare feet, her toenails painted a sunny yellow, the manacle marks at her ankles only a slightly darker shade of pink now instead of angry red welts, the silver scars from years of wearing them like a spiderweb. “I’m no good for you, but I know I’m all you’ve got. I’ll do better.” He left it there, half expecting the silence that followed, half terrified she’d push him away. When her shaky hand cupped the side of his head tenderly he almost choked on a sob. “I don’t deserve you, someone as forgiving as you.” He whispered and leaned into her hand eager to feel more of her, that loving touch he craved.

Her finger hooked under his chin and she tugged enough for him to lift his head, a silent plea to look at her. He felt his heart lurch as he laid eyes on her face for the first time in nearly three weeks. Sea green eyes looked back, intense, sharp, loving. The weight she’d put on had filled out her cheeks, the hollow look gone without a trace of the tortured woman beneath.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered, his voice catching and the slight smile that tugged the corners of her mouth melted him as she brushed a thumb over his lips. Melted, him, the asshole Karl Strand, on his knees, a fucking mess at her feet.

The ping of the computer had her head whip around. She studied the data, as he studied her, before turning back to face him. Her eyes searched his and before he could stop her she kissed him, that slow burn that told him she’d not only forgiven him, that she wanted more, it spoke of a love he wasn’t entirely sure he was worthy of. Turning back to the screen she dropped her hand from his face and with a few keystrokes pulled up the data he’d been searching for earlier.

“I’m sorr...” She touched a finger to his lips and shook her head, it was finished now. He stayed where he was, reading the data she’d pulled up, her hand casually resting on his shoulder, fingers absently toying with the collar of his shirt. It was such a tender intimacy he’d never had before and it floored him.

“Thank you for you help the past few weeks.” He said softly as his emotions settled. “Jerry and I have been able to get this case organized and progressing. We’d still be neck deep in it if we didn’t have your help.” She looked at him and he felt her eyes search his face, her soft kiss melting him again.

A little after three she set a few searches to run and pushed back her chair to stand. Karl was still on his knees, not game to move from his spot, terrified the spell would be broken and this little slice of peace with her would be taken from him. He looked up at her, the rich whisky colored hair framing her face, damn she was stunning. Holding out her hand for his, he chuckled. This was a turn of events he thought, the slight smile telling him it wasn’t lost on her either. He stood, his tall frame dwarfing hers, the urge to kiss her, hold her, overwhelming. Taking his hand in hers she led him to her room. He stopped on her threshold and looked at her. “Sweet girl.” He breathed as she tugged his hand. “I don’t know if this is a good idea.” His gentle tone trying to ease her into the rejection. He couldn’t sleep with her tonight even though his body yearned for it. His emotions were a mess and if he fucked this up now they’d be done forever.

Her eyes pleaded and the hand in his shook slightly. “I want to, but...” She shook her head and tugged his hand. Stepping into the room she surprised him when she shut the door quietly behind him. He looked around her room, it too had changed, there were books on the nightstand, clothes in the closet he could see via the slightly open door. Mia had taken her shopping, or online shopping at least. He watched as she sat on the bed and patted her hand on the covers.

“You sure sweet girl?” He asked and at her nod he walked to the other side and climbed in. Watching her she climbed under the covers, switched the lamp off, and tentatively moved closer to him, the need to feel her in his arms making his fingers itch. With the moonlight streaming through the open curtains he let his eyes adjust to the glow. Her fingers twitched as they touched his arm, still unsure and timid of sleeping beside him in a bed. He was about to suggest he go sleep in his room when she shifted, laying beside him, body flush with his, her hand fisted in his shirt as her head rested on his bicep. “Sweet girl.” He breathed and wrapped his arms around her slowly, the press of her against him stirring something inside him that should have stayed dormant. “I missed you.” He whispered and kissed her head, the scent of her clouding his mind, his reasoning, his judgement. “I’m so sorry.” Her head tipped back to look at him as her fingers trailed thought his scruff, those soft lips brushing his tenderly. “Sleep sweet girl, we both need sleep.” Because if she kept touching and kissing him like this he would fuck her to satisfy his own craving for her. She curled into him, her head burrowing under his chin and relaxed. Holding her close he leveled out his breathing and willed his over confident cock to stand down. How the fuck did he end up with these sorts of feelings for her?

He felt her plummet into sleep, but his mind raced. She looked peaceful in his arms, the weeks of food, water, sleep, and safety blossoming her into a very attractive woman. “Sweet girl you undo me, make me feel things I’m not sure I have the right to feel.” He murmured into the night, the scent of her filling his senses and pulling him under. “I’m still no good for you.” He mumbled.

******

He woke with a start as she shifted, the sun painting the sky beyond the curtains pretty colors. They’d only been asleep for a few hours and he growled as he hit the button to close the curtains for more darkness. She trembled as the sun disappeared, the soft blue glow from the curtains the only light in the room. “You’re safe sweet girl, sleep some more.” He cuddled her in close, the softness of her body a sharp contrast to the body he’d held weeks ago after bringing her out of the concrete prison she’d been forced to live in. She turned into him, face buried into his chest, the soft whimper tearing at him. “You’re safe with me.” He brought his arms around her tighter and kissed her forehead, sleep still held her just as tightly. “You’re always safe with me.” Her body slowly went lax, the warmth from him soothing her as much as his voice.

******

He woke hours later to the prickly feeling he was being watched. His eyes snapped open to see those sea green pools staring at him from under dark lashes. If things weren’t as fragile as they were he would have stripped them both naked and taken her. He found being this close to her, with that look made his blood boil in the most erotic way. “You have the prettiest eyes sweet girl.” He murmured, his voice husky with need. Feeling this way about her wasn’t healthy. She tilted her head back, stretched up, and kissed him. “We can’t Ayla.” He breathed as he pulled back, fuck this was killing him. “I...” She kissed him again sweetly and pulled back the covers. “I’m not good for you.” He said as she climbed out of bed, the flat look she gave him was one of annoyance, she didn’t want to hear it. “Fuck me.” He swore as she closed the bathroom door. “I’m trying to do the right fucking thing here.” He sighed to the ceiling.

He couldn’t get involved with her. Once the case was finished, what then, he wasn’t the settling down type. He didn’t want to play happy families. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to fuck her and leave her, she didn’t deserve that, didn’t deserve the domination game he liked to play. He played hard and rough and that was far from what she needed. Sex for him was explosive, was a primal need to be sated, to take and give only what he allowed, where he was in control, he was the one making choices. It was always concentual, but his tastes ran a little wild.

Dressed she came out of the bathroom and glanced at him before disappearing, closing the door behind her. He ripped off the covers off angry at himself, fuming at this whole fucked up situation. Heading back to his own bathroom he shucked his sweats and shirt and stroked his raging hard cock, fuck he needed release.

Under the hot spray he soaped up and began to find it, the image of Ayla invading his mind. His hand pumping slowly as if he was sinking into her, her tightness enveloping him. Letting his fantasy run wild he took her with his mind, every inch of her devoured while he fucked her. His soft grunt as he came more a sigh as he rode the pleasure the mere thought of fucking her gave him. Rinsing off he turned the water off and wrapped a towel at his hips. Staring in the mirror he was disgusted with himself. “You have no business lusting after that woman.” He snarled at his reflection. “She doesn’t need your shit you asshole.” He dressed and headed out to hunt down some food.

******

Seeing Ayla at the workstation with Jerry he smiled, she was looking good and seemed happy. Mia glared at him from the kitchen and he thought now was as good a time as any to clear the air between them.

“I apologized to Ayla last night.” He said softly and took a seat on the opposite side of the kitchen island, he wasn’t completely stupid. “On my knees.”

“As you fucking should.” She growled.

“Mia, I really want to move on from this, for her sake, but if we need to go a round where you beat the shit out of me for it then step the fuck outside.” His tone was irritated, he wanted to move them all past this.

“I’m not as naïve as she is Strand. I know what you’re capable of and exactly what you are.”

“I’m an asshole, I’ve never lied to her about that. I even reiterated that last night. I’m an asshole and I don’t deserve her, but as you keep pointing out, it’s her fucking choice.”

“You can always say no.” She ground out.

He stalked around the island and got in her face, in her space. “I have. Repeatedly.” His glare lit the fire in her eyes. “Take a swing Mia, you’ll only get one.”

“You fucking know ones all I need.”

“Then consider it a free pass.” He welcomed her violence, the pain would be better than the ache in his heart for Ayla.

“You’re in love with her.” She whispered, the realization dropping from her lips seriously as she clued into the internal pain he was feeling.

“I don’t know what I feel for her Mia, and that terrifies me.” He backed off, his eyes flicking to the rec room entrance. “She’s the complete opposite to what I’m usually interested in. Sex aside because it’s not happening, what do I have to offer her? I’m a loner, I’m a prick, I’m controlling, I’m everything she shouldn’t want to ever see again after what she’s been through.”

“She doesn’t see it that way Karl. God you’re so thick sometimes.” She blurted out suddenly exasperated. “You’re the first male to care about her, and despite the situation of how you met, she loves you. She’s discovering who she is and what she likes.”

“I don’t want to hurt her, intentionally or not, I can’t bear to see her in pain or upset, it fucking guts me Mia.”

“You’re helping her find her way Strand, it’s a big deal for her.”

“Has she talked to you?” He asked.

“No, she hasn’t uttered a word to me. We did girly things, shopped online, ate ice cream watched some movies. I gave her a taste of what normal single girls do.” She looked at him. “She not naïve about sex, she didn’t get upset at sex scenes in the movies we watched, she knows the difference between what was done to her and what’s normal.”

“My sexual taste is a little on the wild side Mia and you know that.”

“You’re never going to know hers if you push her away and deny her.”

“I like the domination the spanking, the hand at the throat, and I like it rough, I highly doubt she’ll be into that.” He growled.

“Like I said, you’ll never know if you don’t talk to her. She’ll find her voice when you do Karl. You want her to talk to you, to open up? You need to do the same.” She sat the coffee in front of him and took a bowl of ice cream in for Ayla, he smirked at that, it had become her normal.

******

Each night Ayla curled up with him he thought about what to say to her, chewed on Mia’s words. In the morning he would shower after her and stroke himself until he came, thinking of her and those sea green eyes he’d fallen in love with. Did he love her or was it just lusting after her because they’d been forced together? During the day the four of them worked, the sell date creeping forward, the methodical task of closing the net and catching every last one of these monsters. Then and only then could he really dive into his feelings for Ayla and determine a way forward, that’s if she didn’t make his choice for him in the mean time.

******

As the days crawled toward the second auction Ayla had settled. Working with Jerry, curling up at night with Karl, spending more time venturing outside to unwind with Mia. Strand had noticed the spark in her, taking chances, making choices, becoming herself. She was still reserved and calculating, but more at ease with the three of them.

“I have a question.” Jerry said as they sat around the dinner table one night. “In a few days the auction is going to go live, because, hey, we’re the ones initiating it. But will they be expecting an infant to turn up as per usual?” Karl looked at him and thought about it.

“I would assume so.” He mused. “The switch happened after he’d kidnapped the child, it was when he dropped it off that he collected the teen.”

“We might have a problem then. If they’re expecting a baby for the teen, we’re fucked.”

“Not necessarily.” Mia said. “You can always lock it down when you collect the teen. No one in or out.”

“Another question is will they hand over the teen to someone that’s not Raven?” Jerry said softly.

“You’re full of good cheer tonight.” Karl said sarcastically as he tossed his cutlery on the plate. “Plan B?”

“We don’t have one.”

“We better make one.” He growled. “Could Davis or Wainwright pass for Raven with some help?” He asked Mia.

“I can work on it, have them send a scan of their bone structure and I can work some magic.”

“It was a quick handover and in the dark.”

“Burke will be on that night, we’ll get her to answer the door. Maybe he had trouble getting an infant? Would they accept that?” Karl mused and watched as Ayla slipped away and came back with her DNA laptop. She silently worked on something while they tossed ideas around and he mentally kicked himself he hadn’t thought of this issue sooner. Had your mind been where it should be, he scolded himself, on the op and all the logistics that went with it, this would have been rectified weeks ago not days before. Instead you’re off chasing a piece of ass that you shouldn’t be tangoing with.

“I don’t see why not, it’s his operation.” Jerry shrugged.

Ayla looked at Karl. “What is it sweet girl?” Her eyes flicked to everyone in the room and she turned the laptop around. Strand scanned the list. “The dates are different.” He looked at her. “For the ones you highlighted. He’s had issues with snatching a kid on the anniversaries in the past.” She nodded. “We can use that. At least this isn’t going to be a once off.” There was sorrow in her eyes tonight, the case and what they had to do weighing on her, her own trauma and history. “Thanks.” He smiled at her and she nodded again as Mia dished up ice cream. He watched Ayla take her bowl and laptop back and get down to work again. “She’s already feeling it.” Strand said quietly to the other two. “The case, the apprehension, the pressure.”

“She feels powerless.” Mia said and took another bite of strawberry ice cream. “Vulnerable. She knows she’s safe, but she knows other aren’t and she can’t stop what’s happening.”

“She’s helping though.” Strand said as he saw her pull more data up on screen and run more searches.

“Maybe you should tell her that.” She shrugged. “She feels responsible Karl, and I know that sounds ridiculous, but she was with him for her entire life, watched as he destroyed others. She was powerless in the literal sense, she’s not now.”

“Righting wrongs that aren’t hers.” He sighed.

“We know that.” Mia said, leaving it hanging, she squeezed his shoulder as she walked to the kitchen.

They continued to work the slight change to the op, Mia and Jerry finding their beds at around 11, Ayla was still plowing through data. Strand sat next to her as he compiled op notes to send to the team and setup a call tomorrow to run through it. He saw the tears, her eyes intent on her work, the fact she ignored them breaking his heart.

“Sweet girl.” He sighed and brushed a knuckle against her cheek. Her fingers hastily scrubbed them away and she shook her head before trying to focus on her tasks. Pushing herself, he thought, pushing so hard to save them. “Ayla? None of this is your fault, you’re not responsible fo...” She pushed his hand away and shook her head. “You’re not.” Her tears turned into sobs. “Look at me.” He said gently. “Please.” Those stormy ocean green eyes held pain and anger when they looked back. “You had no choice but to do as he commanded.” He started. “None.” His fingers held her under the chin tenderly, his thumb stroking her tears away. “You were stolen, abused, used, you’re not responsible for what you had to do to stay alive and to keep him from torturing you.” His voice cracked at the keening sound coming from her. “You’re a good person sweet girl, you’re here helping. We didn’t ask, you made a choice to help the other girls. Made the choice to help us shut down the auctions, to get the girls to safety.” As he watched her those eyes saw parts of himself he couldn’t hide, parts he struggled to bury. “This is not your burden Ayla, that’s all on Allen Raven. You’re allowed to be angry at him, but not yourself. You had no choice back then sweet girl, none of this is your fault.” She nodded and he raked his fingers through her hair gently cupping her head and urging her close. Crawling into his lap she wept for the girls, for her part in it, for herself. “My sweet Ayla.” He murmured as he soothed her.

The tears subsided and she sat in his lap staring at the screens, that vacant look in her eyes, it had been weeks since she’d retreated inward. Setting a few searches to run overnight he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom. He tucked her in and reassured her he wasn’t leaving for long, before taking care of his business in the bathroom. Leaving the curtains open wide he curled in behind her, his body cradling hers, protecting, soothing. She eventually rolled over, those slender fingers fisting in his shirt, her head using his bicep as a pillow. It had become their normal which Strand knew would be harder when it came time for him to leave. “Sleep now sweet girl, you’re safe. I’ll keep you safe.” For as long as I can, he added silently.

******

He woke to Ayla still huddled into him, the fragility of her blindingly obvious. Resting his lips on her head after a kiss he combed his fingers through her hair in an attempt to soothe her awake. “I don’t know what I feel when I’m with you.” He said quietly. “I don’t know if it’s love or lust, whether it’ll last beyond our time here. I don’t know if I should keep you at arms length for your own protection or for mine. Sometimes I’m not sure starting something with you is a good idea, but then when I’m near you I crave every inch of you.” He kissed her head again and breathed her in. “It terrifies me.” He whispered. “I don’t know how to be what you need me to be.” Her head tipped back and soulful eyes pinned him.

Her fingers toyed with his scruff and held him there as she kissed him, slow and tender. She was so giving, he thought, he’d done nothing to deserve that. “You sleep ok?” He asked changing topics quickly before he ended up doing something he’d regret, her nod set him at ease. “You don’t have to sit through the op review or any of it if you don’t want to.” She shook her head and started to get up. “Stay a minute.” He said quickly. “Please.” She snuggled back in and let him hold her, the feel of her hair between his fingers soothing him more than her.

******

He showered first, the op review looming closer by the minute and he wanted his thoughts in order. Leaving her to sleep some more he sat with a coffee and got down to business.

“Ayla not up yet?” Jerry asked as he sat with his own coffee.

“Rough night.” Karl thumbed through his file. “She blames herself.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah. She’s retreated inward a little which is understandable.” He tossed the file on the desk and brought up the prime merch feed. “I gave her an option of not joining us for the takedown, it’ll be her choice whether she joins us or not.”

“Fair call.”

“If only.” He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face as he punched in the number for the team and bringing them online for their briefing.

******

“It’s a solid plan Strand.” Davis rasped. “We’ll have the girl safely stashed away before the auction goes online.”

“You sure you’re ok for this?” Karl asked as he stared at the dark bruising against Davis’s throat.

“It sounds worse than it is.” He chuckled, which sounded like he’d smoked ten packs a day for a hundred years.

“Coms check and in position by 22:30. I want to watch the outside of the building for a while, make sure we’re not walking into something we’re not prepared for.”

“Copy that boss.”

With the briefing done and their operation stitched up tightly Strand wandered back to Ayla’s room. Curled up in a tight ball in the middle of the bed, she barely registered he’d appeared in front of her.

“Sweet girl.” He murmured. “You’re not alone, I’m right here.” He stroked her cheek gently before laying down next to her. His huge hands stroked and soothed gently until her body uncoiled and she looked at him. Her finger played with his scruff, as if it reassured her it was him. “Hey there sweet girl.” He smiled at her and her lips twitched into that half smile. What he wouldn’t give, he thought, to see a full happy smile, hear a belly laugh. Her finger trailed to his chest where it fanned out, the need to ground herself, feel safe. “You’re safe.” She nodded and looked up at him. “You hungry?” She shrugged. “I think Mia stashed some chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer earlier.” He grinned. “How about we go eat some?” He kissed her brow and she shook her head. “Tummy upset?” She nodded. Stress, fear, grief, he was so not equipped for handling this. “Understandable.” He kissed her brow again and just held her.

She drifted back to sleep, Karl able to separate himself from her to grab some dinner and make a mug of soup for her.

“She still in bed?” Mia asked as she stacked the dishwasher.

“Yeah, tired, overwhelmed, stressed. She blames herself.” He said quietly and Mia nodded. “I’m turning in for the night, staying close to her.” He mumbled and headed off to her room, but not before seeing the smirk plastered across Mia’s face. He felt ridiculous. He was a grown ass man getting all soft on a girl he had no business getting soft over.

He managed to persuade her to eat half the monster cup of soup he brought in, nibbled on the dark rye bread she liked. Sitting, legs stretched out he was consumed by his thoughts. Thoughts of past relationships, if he was being honest with himself he’d never had a long term relationship, it was one night stands or an arrangement like he and Meekland had. He hadn’t even contemplated that clusterfuck, was she loyal to her owner or to the girls, the case? Where did their relationship fit into it all, had she used him, too blinded by what he thought was love to see it? Was that why he couldn’t admit he loved Ayla? He watched her set the cup of soup aside and visit the bathroom. Was he in love with her? The eternal batchelor? Just be what and who she needs, he thought, as she climbed back into bed and curled up at his hip. A while later he lay behind her and cocooned her with his frame, safe, secure, dare he think it, loved.

******

The morning of the op he had to separate himself from her, get his head in the game, do his damn job. He pulled her from sleep gently, those eyes fluttering open as his fingertips brushed the hair from her face. “Morning sweet girl.” His smile brought that twitch to her lips he liked. “I have to get to work, I need to prepare for tonight.” She nodded but her hand gripped and scrunched his shirt. “I’ll be right here in the house, safe with you.” She nodded again. “I need to know you’ll be ok while I’m taking care of these assholes.” She pressed her face against his chest and relaxed, her grip on his shirt lessening. Nodding she looked up at him before her lips claimed his. It floored him every time she did that, made him feel emotions he wasn’t ready to handle. He deepened it, fingers raking through her hair to cup her head, greedy for a taste of her, to feel her, his cock stirring to life at the rush.

Resting his forehead on hers he eased away before he took it a step further. “I wish you’d talk to me.” His voice husky. “I’m skating a moral line with you. I want to do right by you, not take advantage of you or the situation, but at the same time I want to throw caution to the wind and give you what you want, what you’re asking for. Sex with me isn’t gentle Ayla, I like it rough, I like to dominate, and honestly, that’s the last kind of lover I want to be if I’m with you. Because I know it’ll hurt you, not physically, even I have lines I won’t cross, but psychologically.” He looked down into those pretty eyes. “I can’t do anything that might hurt you sweet girl. It’ll end me.” He kissed her brow and lingered. “It guts me when you cry, like there’s a tangible bond between us. I don’t know how to handle this, to do what’s right for both of us, I just don’t know. And though with most women I’d wing it, you’re different. So different that I want to do it right. And I’m fucking rambling.” He huffed a chuckle. “You’ve got me all tied up in knots.” She stretched up and kissed him, his soft groan into her mouth startling him. “I don’t deserve you, deserve what you freely want to give me. I’ll only disappoint you sweet girl.” She shook her head as if to say no you wont or you haven’t yet.

“I need to go to work.” He needed to step away to collect himself. She nodded and smoothed a hand over his chest. “I won’t deny I have feelings for you Ayla, I’m just terrified at what that’ll mean for us.” He kissed her forehead quickly and pulled back the covers.

A shower and some food in his belly seemed to settle the ragged edges of his emotions. Sitting with a coffee he digested the overnight searches enough to get his head in the game, they were closing in. To his surprise Ayla ventured out as they sat for dinner, showered, dressed, with a look of determination on her face. She sat next to him, her hands slightly shaking as she ate. My brave sweet girl, he thought, she was going to put herself through hell tonight. The internal war inside him to say something, tell her she didn’t have to do it, raged. Her choice, the little voice in his head whispered, she’d chosen to fight, to help the girls that had no choice in where they were, what they were forced to do.

He watched her take her ice cream into the rec room and sit at her laptop, fingers already moving as she worked, studied the op, took it all in. “Her choice.” He said gruffly as Mia looked at him disconcertingly. “I’ve explained she didn’t need to be in on this, that we understood if she wanted to sit this out. Her choice. Don’t chew my ass on it.” He grumbled and went to sit beside her. No way was he leaving her alone tonight.

******

Focusing on the op they monitored the prime merch factory, the team in position, and Wainwright looked like a carbon copy of Raven. So much like him he saw Ayla cower, the soft whimper escape before he placed his hand on hers and she gripped tightly. “That’s Wainwright sweet girl. I know with 100% certainty, Allen Raven is on Hades 6. That’s not him.” She nodded and kept a tight hold of his hand, the tremble in her body gutting him.

They watched with baited breath as Wainwright knocked on the door, the tense moments as it opened and the girl handed over to him. It wasn’t until he’d dropped the girl at the safe house and driven away that Strand broke the silence.

“Did they suspect?”

“No, I got no vibes that they knew something was off.” He was breathing a little easier now. “Burke and I are heading back to wait for the drop location. Davis is standing by with his team for deploying the net, just like last time.”

“Good job.”

“Save that until after we nail this next buyer.” He chuckled. “Were not done tonight.”

“No, we’re not, but you going undetected is a damn good start.” Strand said honestly.

In the brief hiatus between the teen pickup and the auction due to go online the team took a moment to calm the nerves. Ayla was quiet, too quiet, Strand thought, as he watched her out of his periphery. He was concerned when she turned down the bowl of ice cream that Mia had placed beside her. Those eyes were intense as they watched every screen, every bit of movement, preparing for Allen Raven to jump through the screen at her.

Karl tugged her hand gently and she looked at him. “Sweet girl.” He said gently, the invitation to curl up with him in his tone. It took her a moment to process his words, the offer of the safety she found in his arms. Without a word she hunched onto his lap, curled in as tightly as she could. “You’re safe sweet girl.” He murmured and kissed her hair, the scent calming him, her hand fisting in his shirt.

Jerry waited until 12:01 precisely to send the auction live, the quick paced bidding war had begun as the silence was interrupted every so often with a ping.

“There’s a few new buyers, I don’t recognize these four.” Jerry said pointing at the screen. Ayla was watching and her hand shot out to pull up data from her DNA laptop with a few easy strokes. “Ahhhh, that explains it. Another like our asshole commanding officer.” Jerry growled. “This guy is on a three year replacement deal.” While Jerry read, Ayla pulled the keyboard into her lap and pulled data on the other three. Even Karl had to admit her hacking skill were out of this world. Snuggled into him as she worked he started to watch her finesse the data, tease it out of every corner.

“You sweet girl, are amazing.” He breathed, that low rumble of his voice only for her to hear as he kissed her head. They worked through the early morning, jumping on every new bidder to obtain as much information as they could.

“These are the wannabes.” Jerry said as he compared this auction history to the last. “These guys bid for the thrill, knowing that the big fish have yet to enter. It hasn’t even tipped over 800 K.”

“Give it until nine tonight, things will start to pick up then for sure.” Karl said as he shifted Ayla in his lap.

“She’s asleep boss.” Hunt chuckled.

“I know. My ass is asleep too.”

“I’ll hold down the fort, go sleep. We can switch at lunch.”

“You sure?”

“Positive, I’ll wake you if the shit hits the fan.” Jerry turned and got to work and he looked at Mia. Her slight nod told him she’d keep the rookie company.

*******

Ayla barely moved as he carried her to her room. So not to disturb her too much he decided to sit up in bed, the mattress slightly more comfortable on his ass than the chair had been. Eventually he slid them horizontal and under the covers. Her dreams kept him awake, the soft whimper, her hands first pushing him away then pulling him closer. “Sleep sweet girl, you’re safe now, you’re safe with me.” He caged her in, his massive frame protecting her. Her sigh shuddered out and with it every ounce of terror and stress. “Sleep now Ayla, you’re safe.” She dropped into sleep like a stone and once he was sure she was out cold, he followed.

******

He knew she was watching him, could feel her gaze. Her finger brushed his scruff, the tip tickling his lip and he felt her jump at his chuckle.

“That tickles.” He smiled and opened his eyes to see those deep sea green pools looking at him, so soulful, a small smile tugged at her lips. He went to say something but her finger silenced him, the shake of her head telling him she didn’t want words, she wanted silence. Laying there in the quiet, her fingers mapping his face, he fell for her a little more, how could he not?

“You up boss?” Jerry called softly through the door as he knocked.

“Yeah.”

“I’m out. I need at least a solid six.”

“Sounds good.” He looked down at Ayla, eyes searching hers. She stretched up and kissed him, slow and soft, the tenderness from her melting him. He deepened it, the yearning for her tugging at him. Rolling he pressed her into the mattress, the feel of her beneath him igniting an inferno inside him, he wanted her like his next breath. “Ayla.” He breathed, losing himself to the moment, her mouth enticing him to linger. “I have to go to work sweet girl.” He said resting his forehead against hers, voice husky with need. She nodded and splayed her fingers out across his chest. “I could use the company, the help if you’re up for it?” He asked gently. She nodded again and tapped her fingers against his chest as if to say, get your ass up then.

He rolled off her and let her take a shower first, the tent in his sweats would be a dead giveaway as to what that kiss had done to him. Was he in love with her, he pondered, could he love her how she deserved, how she needed? She needed slow and tender, loving, could he be that for her? He watched as she came out in leggings and a sloppy knit sweater, how did that turn him on where he wanted to strip her naked and fuck her senseless?

He took a shower, a cold one, and joined her in the rec room where she’d made a coffee for him.

“Thanks.” He said sitting and she nodded as her fingers were already flying over the keyboard hard at work. “You find something sweet girl?” He followed her finger as it tapped the screen for the newest ping from the auction. “Ivan Petrov.” He murmured and Ayla nodded. “And he’s serious with that bid.” The auction just took a 1.3 million dollar hike as it evened it out to a cool 2.2 million total. “He watched as her fingers caressed the photo of Jerry ’s sister. “I know sweet girl.” He sighed. “Here’s hoping he’s the winning bidder.” His growl was feral. “Because then Jerry can beat the location of Eva out of him.” Her hand covered his and he calmed, it was almost instantaneous. “Before I ship him off to Hades 6.” He added looking down at her, understanding looked back. She stood and collected his cup, kissed his cheek, and wandered out to the kitchen.

They worked side by side until Mia surfaced around eight hungry. Ayla helped her out in the kitchen, her eyes intent on what Mia was doing. It was these simple everyday things that she’d been denied, he thought. Mia had taught her how to cook, how to do laundry, basic self care. She’d been denied so much.

Jerry made his way out at the smell of food and Karl filled him in on the current bidding situation with Petrov. “As much as I’d love to rig it so he wins, I want to see his fucking face when we take him down and he was none the wiser. There’a a great deal of satisfaction knowing he did it all himself and we’re going to nail him.”

“We may have to offer him a deal for your sister.” Strand watched him carefully.

“Then he gets a deal. He’ll still be shipped to Hades 6 even if I have to fly the damn shuttle myself.” Jerry spat.

“I wasn’t finished.” Karl growled, his irritation evident and Jerry backed off. “We’ll offer it to him, but there’s nothing in my current job description that says I have to honor that offer.” Strand watched as Jerry’s face split with a grin.

“You really are an asshole.”

“So I’ve been told.” He said wryly.

They sat and ate, the conversation about anything but the case, the need to step away briefly before submerging themselves in the job, the overwhelming nastiness that was sex slavery and pedophilia. Karl smiled at Ayla eating through a full meal, it seemed like only yesterday she was barely able to stomach half a cup of soup.

“Tomorrow we’re taking the day off and making burgers.” He said quietly. “I promised this sweet girl a juicy burger when we came here.”

“Mmmm, bison burgers.” Mia said wistfully. “I have some in the deep freeze.”

“Oven fries.” Said Jerry. “Gotta have the oven fries, all nice and crispy. You’re in for a treat Ayla.” He smiled. “Oooo and sourdough buns, toasted with mustard. God damn I haven’t had a decent burger in a while.” He chuckled.

They talked about other food she needed to try, tacos, gyros, hummus, roast turkey, laughed at Mia as she was virtually salivating. With full bellies and bowls of ice cream they ventured in to run the remaining part of the op. At 11:30 they were all business, the laughter put aside, the jokes saved for another time.

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam @loliwrites @trippedmetaldetector @lihikainanea @fay-walden

[peachfyzzy]

doppio x reader x diavolo house call

heres some good food for u pink haired fuckers!

nsfw under the cut!

cw: fucking, rough sex, diavolo being a whore

a03 link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/21025433

“Signore, you’re so tense.” You peered into the timid eyes of the man below you with overflowing, unabashed confidence. It was a normal day at work- seducing and enticing a handfull of men into paying for a few hours of your time and then running away with their rent money secure in your coat pocket. You loved your job, truly. However, you found something about your newest client to be...funny. His words were laced with anxiety and his eyes could barely scan your body without quickly moving up back to your face, almost as if he wasn’t supposed to look at you there. He shivered at the smallest touch, which certainly didn’t work in his favor considering the position you were in. Your legs hung off of the back of the expensive, vintage chair and your ass fit snugly into the smaller man’s lap. Your hands laid on his shoulders firmly in a half effort to massage and quell his anxiety. You wondered how he even got up the courage to call your boss and organize a meeting with a stripper. Normally, the men you met were hounds. Ready to take you and completely disregarding any conversation you might’ve wanted to have with them.

Of course, you didn’t mind this. They weren’t particularly interesting nor were they attractive. You fell into a routine this way, so having it disrupted so oddly piqued your interest. Gently, you began running your hands through his bright pink hair. He bit his lip in response, gulping and looking up at you as if you could break him. “Tell me, Signore...Could this be your first time?” 

“W-With a s-stripper or i-in general?” His voice was sweet and melodic, and honestly almost made you feel bad for being such a tease. You shrugged. “T-This is my first time with a stripper. W-Well...o-our…” Our. You quirked an eyebrow for a second, confused at the man’s words before the memory of your paycheck came crashing back. Your boss had told you that he paid for two people, but you completely forgot once he showed up himself; all nerves and stuttering. 

“Our, huh?” You scanned the emptiness of his room as you left lovebites along the line of his neck. “When will your little friend make an appearance?” The timid man yelped in response, reflexively grabbing your hips and squirming under you a bit. God, he was cute. 

“Y-You’ll know...I told him not to be too...startling, so p-please watch out for him.” Once again, you were left confused by the man and his friend. Still, you continued your ministrations without a second thought. Your clients had ranged from as vanilla as extract to as kinky as 4A hair. So, you tried to take this as a learning experience. With every kiss to the neck, a small groan or whine was given. He certainly was endearing to have around. After a few minutes of teasing and sucking, you got on your knees to continue your journey down his body. “You can call me Doppio, by the way. If you’d like…My friend’s name is Diavolo, for when you see him.” 

Your heart grew a few sizes bigger at his attitude. He treated you almost like a lover, and you found yourself hoping he’d show up again...if only to say hi. 

“Well, Doppio...Hold still for me, okay?” You reached for the hem of his sweater and pulled it off in one motion, revealing a toned and cute abdomen. Your heart fluttered, and your cold hands ran their way up his hot body. His nipples perked against your fingertips. When you reached for the hem of his pants, a beeping resounded through the room. 

“Oh! He’ll be here soon.” Doppio sprung to his feet in newfound confidence. He dug through one of his pockets for something and pulled out a hot pink ribbon, the same color as his hair. “Could you put this on for me? He likes things like this.” You nodded and kicked off your heels, leaning forward a bit to let him tie the ribbon around your eyes. “Now turn, alright?” His voice carried like a kid setting up a game of hide and seek.

You complied with a little giggle and heard the door behind you swing open and then shut. No longer than a minute passed before you heard the same swing and then shut. With the tug of a smile on your lips, you turned around and placed your hands at the back of your head to undo the blindfold. “Doppio-” 

“Don’t you dare take off that fucking blindfold.” You jumped, quickly placing your hands at your sides. The man’s voice was enough to make a chill run up your spine. For the first time, you didn’t just feel naked in front of a client...you felt exposed. 

“A-Are you Doppio’s friend?” You took Doppio’s place in being the stuttering, anxious mess. 

“Yes, cara mia. A very dear friend.” His voice was naturally demanding, even when using the sweetest pet names. You heard the figure take a few steps towards you. His hands found their way around your head and his fingers delicately undid the knot. When the blindfold began to fold, he spoke. “You may call me Signore. ” He got closer to your ear, his hot breath tickling your lobe. “If you speak to anyone about this encounter, I will not hesitate to murder you. Do you understand, troia?” Your clients could be violent. Rough. Mean. But you always considered it to be apart of the fantasy. 

This time, you knew the words to be true. 

“Okay, Diavolo.” Your words weren’t met with the approval you were expecting. Instead, a firm slap was placed upon your cheek. You recoiled, holding the red cheek. 

“My sweet Doppio told you my name, did he? I’m the one here. You may call me Signore.” You gulped and moved your hand, biting your bottom lip. 

“Yes, Signore.” Your Signore moved quickly. Before you knew it, you were pressed against a wall by your throat. His fingers tightened around the side of your neck. Pleasure washed over your being as your blood for restricted. 

“Tell me, puttana. Did that slap turn you on? Do you enjoy it when men treat your whore body as I have?” You nodded as you bucked into the air in front of you. “My poor, sweet Doppio...I don’t think he could’ve handled someone as filthy as you.” 

His insults only fueled the lustful burning in your stomach. “On your knees.” Diavolo threw you to the ground via your neck, and you quickly got onto your knees. You wondered how such a sweet and mild guy got along with this beast of a man; all aggression and boldness. His pants came down and his cock sprang to attention in front of you. It was thicker than what you imagined Doppio to have. Veiny and long. Your inched closer to him, but before your lips could even touch the tip of his cock, his hand came down on your head and pushed you away. “You will beg to suck my cock.”

“Signore, c-can I please-” Another open palmed slap was dealt to the soft flesh of your face. 

“You’re a whore for a living. I know you can beg better than that. Do it or you won’t get anything tonight.” With humiliation bubbling inside of you, you inched closer and ignored the pain of the hardwood against your bare knees. You pawed at his thighs with a whimper. 

“Signore, may I suck your cock? Please let me taste you. I need it. I want it. Please, Signore...I’d do anything.” You had to admit, you were genuinely attracted to the man in front of you. Diavolo weaved a hand through your hair and pushed your forward onto his cock.

You supposed you should’ve been more careful about what you wished for. Now, you were getting your fill of his cock. It buried itself deep within your throat. The lewd noises erupting from your throat only seemed to encourage his cruel actions. You tried your hardest to fall into rhythm with his movements, but soon realized he was purposefully changing his pace to hear you choke and sputter. You couldn’t help yourself. Slowly, your hand made its way to the bundle of nerves crowning your pussy. Diavolo snickered at your actions. “Is this why you’re so popular? Even threatening you didn’t dampen your spirit.” Diavolo pulled you away from his cock quickly, leaving a trail of saliva from the tip to your mouth. He looked down at you with lustful, dark eyes. Your mouth was still agape. “You don’t look messy enough.” Your Signore pulled you up more and grabbed your chin, opening your mouth as far as it could go before spitting on your tongue and forcing your mouth back onto the base of his dick. 

You moaned loudly on his cock, surprising him a bit as the sudden vibration on the sensitive tip of his dick. You could tell the man was beyond pent up. From what you could pick up on his outfit, he was a busy man. Quicker than he would’ve liked, he began reaching his end. 

Taking your head in his hands he began fucking your face like you didn’t have a gag reflex; breath was useless. You almost swore he wanted you to pass out on his dick until he pulled back to give you a little respite. He pushed you back and began pumping himself roughly. He hissed out his final words. “Masochistic...bitch!” He came with a loud grunt over your stomach and pubic mound. You were already breathless, and he hadn’t even had the chance to fuck you yet. For a moment, silence was shared between you two. You got sucked into his emerald eyes and prayed this wouldn’t be the last time him and his friend visited. After this moment, he broke the silence. “Get on your back. Don’t get on the bed. I want you right on the floor.” 

You compiled as quickly as possible, spreading your legs and letting out a debauched moan as he slid his cock around the wetness of your lips. You could tell he was already sensitive from his previous cumming, so he pushed in without much teasing.

The warm feeling of being filled developed you fully. You didn’t have much time to enjoy it, of course, because he was thrusting in and out of you at a relentless pace before you could savor it. You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck in an attempt to keep yourself from astral projecting out of your body. “S-Signore! I’m gonna cum! God, fuck!” Your mind went elsewhere as he jackhammered into your pussy. He knitted his hand into your hair and roughly pulled it forward, causing you to screech. 

“You will ask. Might I remind you who this is for?” He stopped his thrusting abruptly. Diavolo looked down at your pussy, a part of your body he had already claimed. 

“Y-You! God, just please...please keep thrusting! I need it!” 

“Who’s pleasure was this designed for?”

“Yours! God, Signore, please! Fuck me until I can’t move!” 

Finally, you sated him. He began to move once again, his cock hitting the beginnings of your cervix so perfectly… “Cum, troia. I can see it in your face. Cum for your Signore.” 

You compiled without a second thought, watching your body show it’s affection for the man slamming out in front of you. Your finish coated the floor below you and everything between you and Diavolo. If you weren’t so lost in the pleasure of your orgasm, you would’ve been embarrassed. Diavolo finished once again with one final jut of the hip. “S-Signore…” Your voice was broken, and your mind was dripping with thoughts of the man on top of you. 

“Such a good bitch for me and my Doppio.” His voice was gentler now. If only a bit. “Expect our call.” 

[orionares]

Drabble, Part 17

A/N: Change of plans- adding one more chapter…or so before the epilogue.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ok, so I’m not going into the field unless absolutely necessary-“

“Kens.”

“And if I get pulled into an interview and you need me, call Nell and she’ll come and get me-“

“Kens.”

“But the temp boss they sent from Washington should be reasonable. I guess he seemed reasonable when I met him for coffee and explained-“

Kensi’s stopped mid sentence when Deeks grabs her shoulders and grins widely at her long-winded reminders. They are standing in the bedroom, Deeks donning sweatpants and a light blue tank top while watching Kensi pack her wallet, Sig and phone for her first day back to work. Only two weeks after returning home from the hospital, Kensi is readying herself for a hopefully quiet, short day.

“I’m fine. I’ll be fine,” Deeks states. His eyes flicker over to the door before adding, “ I’ll be lounging about with Monty for a bit before our moms get here. And then I’ll never have peace and quiet ever again.”

Kensi lets her mind wander back to a week prior when she had to meet with the team’s temporary leader, Special Agent Elliot Hartfield, an ex- Navy SEAL with experience in the CIA. Hartfield reminds her of a combination of Sam and Callen with the faintest hint of Hetty.

Hetty. I’m beginning to doubt we’ll ever see you again.

Deeks sits on his knees on the very edge of the bed, giving his innocent version of a puppy dog face. “Kensalina,” he pleads, “I can sit in the office-“

Kensi slides her Sig into her waist, chuckling at the image of Deeks finding ways of entertaining himself in the office. “Nope.”

“I can even sit in the car with Monty with the window cracked-“

“No, my love,” She leans towards him and cups his face with her hands. “Stay here and enjoy the day. If I can survive the attack of the ‘Moms’ , so can you.”

“That was beautiful, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m going to be three hundred pounds full of lasagna by the time you get home,” Deeks whispers. Kensi rolls her eyes and gently pushes him back onto the bed. He falls back overdramatically onto the bed and cries out, “The wedding will be planned, our future eighteen children will already be enrolled in school and both will have moved in!”

“Goodbye, Deeks,” Kensi calls out over her shoulder. As she moves down the stairs and towards the front door, she can feel a heaviness in her chest rising the further she’s away from him. His soft laughter echoes through the hall and even with the joy in his voice doesn’t push away from the worrisome thoughts- I can do this. Everything can go back to normal. It can.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So I’m guessing you plan on wishing the paperwork away?”

Callen’s comment earns a scoff from Kensi as she sits back at her chair at her desk with a cup of coffee in hand. She takes a sip of her coffee and then glances down at the cup in confusion at its cold taste.

“You’ve been staring at the paperwork for about 30 minutes, Kens,” Callen reminds her. “Something wrong with the coffee?”

Her eyes shoot up to the kitchenette and shakes her head at a realization. “I think I just poured a cold cup of coffee without realizing it. Thirty minutes, you said?”

Sam, who’s sitting across at his desk with his focus on the laptop, calls out, “How is he?”

“Texting me every ten minutes or so, depending on if he can get his hands on his phone,” Kensi says with exacerbation. She pulls up the text on her cellphone and reads out, “ First one- Monty found a coin in the yard. Maybe it’s worth something? Second one- Mom’s here and doesn’t want me to leave the couch unless to use the bathroom. S.O.S. Third one- Breaking news. Two characters I don’t care about on some soap opera did something I don’t care about while arguing about something useless.”

“Think he’s handling being home, alright?” Callen asks, scratching his chin with mild interest.

“My money’s on him being bored,” Sam suggests, “A bored and idle Deeks is not a good thing.”

“Yeah…” Kensi trails off, smiling at the last text message on the screen. Her mind wanders back to the day before where she had woken peacefully next to a sleeping Deeks and had watched his chest rise and fall with every breath. She doesn’t realize how long she’s staring until Sam places a hand on her shoulder and suggest, “Let’s go for a walk.”

His eyes are warm, seeming to break through her usual defenses. Kensi hears the buzz of her cellphone, more than likely a text from Deeks. Instead of answering, she pushes herself away from the desk and follows Sam through the bullpen and into the empty sparring gym. The peering eyes from fellow agents seem to follow her and Sam as they pass and it does nothing but adding the aching unrecognizable feeling in her gut.

“Give it a week or so for the staring,” Sam calls over his shoulder as he steps onto the large red sparring mat. He unexpectedly begins undoing his shoes as he adds, “When Deeks comes back, it’ll be another week of staring and sympathetic nods and May, that tech from San Diego- she made sure to give Callen and me dirty looks every chance she got.”

“That’s usually how she likes to act like that every time she sees me….why are you taking off your shoes? Are we sparring?”

“Humor me.” Sam reaches under the bench and tosses her two sparring gloves. “Nothing heavy, nothing crazy, alright?”

Kensi shrugs, “Alright.” She quickly kicks off her shoes and slides on her gloves. Sam smirks at her hesitancy and begins shuffling around the mat’s ring. He beckons her towards him before reminding, “Come on, Kens. Humor me.”

“So me kicking your ass is humoring you?” Kensi jokes. She sends a quick jab to Sam’s shoulder, which he blocks quite easily with a counter that leaves her behind him on her back in a blink of an eye.

“You’re distracted,” Sam comments. He holds out a hand and pulls Kensi up onto her feet. “You always ride Deeks about leaving an opening.”

Kensi jumps back to the outline of the ring and begins moving carefully towards Sam, hands raised. “Well, Deeks is usually rambling about Mercury being in retrograde or how he’s almost positive the two surfers who beat him to the waves on Sundays either camp out on the beach all night or stalk him.”

“Or Monty being a what he call it?”

“A Best Pooch.” Once again, Sam is on top of her as she speaks, flipping her onto her back on the map. Kensi groans and rolls over onto her stomach and growls, “Did you come out here to just kick my ass?”

“No- I wanted to point out something to you,” Sam states. He begins to undo one of his gloves, “After Michelle died, I was going to come back about two and a half weeks earlier than I did but G, being G, talked me into waiting a little longer. Said I was distracted and wasn’t ready.”

“And you punched him in the jaw?”

“Ha, ha.” He drops the glove onto the mat and holds out a hand to hoist Kensi onto her feet. She eyes his hand suspiciously before gripping it and letting him pull her to her feet. “G actually,” Sam continues, “ took me to a range and challenged me to a little bit of a competition. He won.”

“And?”

“He hadn’t beaten me in shooting in years. He pointed out that my heart wasn’t in it and that I was distracted. Not distracted in a bad way but that I needed to be home with my kids. I wasn’t meant to be with the team at the time I thought I was ready. I thought I needed to save the world. Kens, where’s your mind and your heart right now?”

“On planning to talk to Callen about his methods of pep talks,” Kensi jokes. She drops her shoulders at the worry in Sam’s eyes. “It’s- it’s at home. It’s with him.”

“And that’s ok, you know.” Sam walks over to the edge of the mat and drops his other glove. “Go home, Kens. Take another day or another week.”

“I can do my job, Sam.”

“And I never said that you couldn’t. I’m saying to go home, rescue Deeks from the in-laws and take everyday little by little, alright? Promise me that. We’ll call you if we need you.”

“Ok, I promise.”

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She’s home in half an hour but takes fifteen extra minutes to will herself to leave the car.

Somehow, Kensi makes it through the door and nods along with her mother and Roberta’s myriad of questions and suggestions and up the stairs to their bedroom. Deeks lays on his stomach, half buried under their blankets. Kensi lets out a sigh and she watches his ankle twitch as if a response.

“How was work?” He mutters under the two pillows. Kensi exhales slowly, taking in the golden locks sticking out between the pillows and her fiancé’s form sprawled across their bed. She doesn’t reply to his question and focuses on what she had nearly run red lights to see.

The rise and fall of his chest. Good, he’s here. He’s….here.

Deeks lets out a sigh and slides his head out from one of the pillows. He pushes the scattered blonde locks from covering his eyes and looks up to Kensi. His goofy smirks immediately disappears at her expression and he pushes himself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. “What happened- what’s wrong?”

She tosses her wallet and keys onto the bedside table and begins to walk to his side. “I, um-“ she stammers. She ignores the sweating palms and the sudden warmth she feels on her face. “Nothing happened at work- I was only there for an hour and a half.”

Deeks narrows his eyes and glances to the clock. “Two hours? My God, it’s only been two hours….I mean- it’s not that I didn’t enjoy eating pasta, lasagna, tamales and a peach cobbler all in one meal- your mom makes a mean cobbler, by the way-“

“I’m taking a leave of absence.”

Deeks sits up and then takes a minute to reorient himself. “What? Wait, Kens-“

She pulls him into her arms. “There is nothing that you can say or do that’ll change my mind. I couldn’t think straight without you being by my side at work. This whole thing was too close and I’m not ready to try and go back to work like everything isn’t different. Mosley’s gone, Hetty’s MIA- everything’s changed.”

“This epiphany came in two hours?”

“Sam, in an unconventional way, talked me through it.”

“So…what’s next then?”

Kensi shrugs. “I don’t know. You tell me- I’m new to this not knowing the next game plan. I do know that I want to marry you.”

“So we start with that,” His turns his head towards the door with the same witty glint in his eye but she gently brings his face back to her. “I want to marry you too.”

Everything has changed.

Her next words spill out faster than she can catch herself. It’s impulsive, it’s uncharacteristic but right now, everything’s changed.

“Then let’s do it today. Let’s get married today.”

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Camping Prt 3 - AustonxAshley

A/N: I posted this on the wrong fucking tumblr because I’m an idiot but here you go yall. sorry for not posting for a while, life is kicking my ass.

The alarm went off at 7:30. I turned it off with a groan going over to open the curtain to let light in. Auston as per usual was still sleeping. I took a few minutes to shower and get ready for the day. After I was completely finished getting ready I went over to Marly’s room to wake her up only to find her sitting up awake already.

“Hi darling whatcha doin?”

“I was waiting for someone to wake up. I’m very excited.”

“How long have you been up?”

“Since the big hand was at the 5.”

“Silly girl you’re going to be sleepy today once we get there and start setting up camp.”

“No I won’t I promise mommy!”

“Okay Marly, we’ll see. How about we get ready to go and then we can go wake up daddy?”

“Okay!” I helped her get dressed in some cute flower shorts and a bluejays t-shirt. I put her light brown hair up in two french braids and helped her tie on her hiking boots.

“Look at my happy little camper! You looks so cute Marzbar.”

“Thank you Mommy. Can we go wake up Daddy now?”

“Of course what are we waiting for?” we tiptoed down the hall together, Marly giggling the whole way there, and once we got to my room we turned on the light and started jumping on him and the bed yelling.

“Daddydaddydaddydaddy waaaaake up!!!!” Marly yelled shaking him as hard as her little 3 year old body could manage.

“Marlyyyyy get off.”

“Aus, be nice. She’s very excited. Get out of bed. Get in the shower.”

“Yeah!” Marly yelled making Auston laugh.

“You think that’s what I should do huh?”

“Yes. Mommy’s the boss.”

“You’re right as ever. She is the boss.” he let out a very over dramatic sigh. “I guuuuess I’ll get up and get ready to go. You go get some snacks to bring in the car okay?”

“Okay!” She ran out of the room.

“She looks so damn cute.” he said after she left.

“I knooooow! Auston I’m so excited come on so we can get going I actually can’t wait!” I say to him very quickly and mumbled together.

“Now you look so damn cute. All excited and happy to share your favourite thing with me and Marly.” he said brushing a piece of hair out of my face before kissing me softy. I push him away though.

“I love you but GO. GET. READY.” I crawled over behind him and started pushing him up. He groaned but got up anyway. I smacked his butt of course, as I do. “Go team.” I winked running out of the room to go find Marly.

“Mommy do I have to have only healthy snacks?”

“It’s morning time darling, I would prefer it. We’ll be there before lunch time.”

“Okay.” I go through all my lists to make sure we’ve got everything. “Mommy is applesauce a car snack?”

“Not with Daddy in the car it’s not.”

“Excuse me?” Auston asked from the kitchen door.

“What?” I asked pretending to be oblivious as he boxed me in against the counter with his arms.

“Did I just hear you say that Marly eats applesauce in the car when I’m not there with you?”

“Um no you probably did not hear that at all.”

“You’re both lucky I love you so much.” he leans back and grabs his keys from the hook. “Are we ready to go?”

“I’m good to go what about you guys?” they both nodded to me. “Marly go to the bathroom.”

“Uuugh mommy I don’t have to let’s just goooo!”

“Marly Marie-Paul stop whining. Go to the bathroom right now quick before we leave.” Auston said and she just sighed and left, she wasn’t going to fight with Auston. A few minutes later Marly is strapped in and we are on the road listening to my celtic thunder inspirational cd full blast. Marly and I were singing loudly together while Auston just smiled at us. From the ground up came on a little while later after Marly was taking a nap. I took Auston’s hand and held it up to my face and kissed it while I sang the song looking at him.

“I love you so so much Auston. More and more everyday. You don’t even understand.”

“I love you too baby. Someday we’ll be just like that pretty song. We’ve already got a head start. A beautiful baby looks just like you.” 

“Stooop.” I said smiling big and blushing at him.

“Cutiepie.” he kissed my hand this time. “Can we listen to something else now?”

“Yeah sure.”

“I think you’re playlists are all on my spotify if you want to pick something from there.” 

“Why are all my playlists on there?” I ask scrunching my face in confusion looking through them all.

“I like to listen to your music while I’m away. It feels like you and Marly are there with me singing and dancing in the other room like at home.”

“Aus, that might be the most precious thing I’ve ever heard in my life. You make my heart so happy.”

“Good I’m glad. You do that to me too you know. Make my heart all happy.”

“Can I put on the 80’s playlist?”

“Of course cutie.” we listened to it for a while until Billie Jean came on and Marly woke up.

“I knew I heard Billie Jean!”

“Good morning sleeping beauty.” Auston said chuckling at his daughter. Marly and I both sang along to more of the songs until Wham came on and Marly squealed in her seat kicking her little feet.

“I loooove this one!” 

“I know you do baby.”

“Miss Marly if there are little footprints on the back of my seat I’m not going to be very happy.”

“Would you believe that Uncle Mitch made them?”

“No.”

“Okay.” I saw out of the corner of my eye her quickly brush them off his seat. “Mommy will you turn it up?”

“Of course darling.” I cranked it, getting an annoyed look from Auston but that look look quickly disappeared and turned into a smile when he heard Marly start singing.

“You put the boom boom into my heart!” She sings at the top of her lungs. “Wake me up before you go-go, cuz I’m not planning on going solo.” I joined her for that part and we sang loudly to the rest of the song with Auston looking at us fondly. He eventually started singing along with us at the end. I always loved it when Auston just let go and had fun and sang along with us. It made me the happiest because it meant he was relaxed and not stressing.

“Okayokayokay who’s ready for some Don’t Stop Believing?”

“ME!!!!” Marly squealed again.

“Aus?”

“Oh you best believe I’m ready.” he said shaking his head laughing.

We all had a lot of fun singing loudly with the windows down driving down the road. Marly was doing air instruments in the back which made us laugh.

“Okay Marly we’re getting pretty close.”

“Yay!!!”

“We have to look out though. There are santa signs. You gotta watch for them and let us know when you see them okay?”

“Okay I can do it!”

“Can we listen to the b-52’s before we get there?” Auston asked quietly.

“Of course baby.” I put on love shack and Aus started singing along in funny voices making Marly laugh so hard I thought she was gonna pee her pants. I took a little video of it because it made my day and I wanted to remember it. When rock lobster came on though then I was having a lot of fun doing a little dance in my seat.

“What in the world are you doing Ash?”

“It’s a dance I learned in scouts.”

“Can we listen to THE song?” Marly asked with a giggle.

“What is THE song?” Auston asked raising an eyebrow.

“We sure can Marly. Daddy will love it.” I put on living on a prayer and Auston just stared at me.

“Oh my goooood.” he groaned making Marly laugh. “Ash I swear to god..”

“Too bad uncle Mitch isn’t here huh Daddy?” Marly said reaching to pat his arm with her little hand.

“Be quiet, you rugrat.” he said laughing with her. “Will I ever be able to get away from this song?”

“Nope.”

“Hey! Are you recording this?”

“Maaaaaybe.”

“Fuck it whatever.”he said and Marly yelled “Bad word Daddy!” but Auston just sang over her making her quickly forget about it.

“Mommy we can’t let him sing by himself!” and with that I turned the camera so that all of us could be seen and we all sang loudly.

“We love yoooou.” I said to Auston after the song was done.

“Yeah well lucky for you two  I love you more than anything.”

“Mommy I just saw a santa sign!!!”

“Oooh we’re getting close! Are you excited Marly?!”

“Yes yes yes!!! I can’t wait!” she clapped her hands being an absolute cutie looking out the window. The car was quiet again until she started yelling the words of bohemian rhapsody. “Thunderbolts and lightning very very frightening! LET ME GOOOOO MAMA MIA MAMA MIA. FOR ME FOR FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEE!” 

“Oh my good god!” I exclaimed laughing so hard I was crying.

“She’s so you’re kid.” Auston said laughing too.

“Marly I love you so much.”

“I love you too Mommy.”

“Oh baby look at the houses!”

“They’re chistmas houses!!”

“We’re on the road that gets us right to the campsite!”

“YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!”

“Aus stop up here so we can get signed in and stuff okay?”

“Alright sure.” he pulls up and I get unbuckled. 

“Can I come in?”

“Of course hun. Auston will you come too? I can’t carry the firewood back to the car.”

“Yeah for sure babe.” I got out and went around to get Marly out of her seat. I kept her up on my hip while he went into the main office. We got checked in relatively quickly and the girl gave me a map to show where to go to get to the campsite. She kept eyeing Auston but I didn’t really care, lots of people eyed my boyfriend all the time. He was Auston Matthews, it was to be expected. We got firewood and listened to the rules before we left and got back in the car and drive through the camp to our site. We were relatively out of the way which he liked and had wanted. 

“Okay guys, welcome to your first camping experience! This is going to be our home for the next few days.”

“Wow! This is so pretty Mommy!”

“I know! This is the same campsite I stayed at when I came when I was 6.”

“Wooooooah! That’s so neat!”

“Yeah we’re close to bathroom’s, showers, the pool, there’s a big field right over there, and a playground not too far away. It’s great!”

“That sounds perfect Ash.” Auston said smiling at me as he started unloading the car. “What do we need out right now?”

“Um the tent first. And the ropes and stuff.”

“Okay sure.” I took out the tarp and laid it on the ground.

“What are you doing mommy?”

“I don’t want the tent to get a hole in it so I’m gonna spread this tarp so if there’s any sticks it won’t ruin our stuff.”

“Can I help?”

“Of course! Here take a corner.” we got it all spread out and I got the tent unrolled on the tarp. Marly was excited and having a good time and when I looked up to see how Auston was liking it he was leaning on the car on his phone. Marly noticed me looking at him and got sad.

“Why doesn’t daddy want to help us? He’s just on his phone..” she asked pouting.

“I don’t know Marzbar. Let me go talk to him.”

“Okay..” she was sitting on the tarp looking kinda bummed out.

“Hey what’s up babe?” he asked as I got closer.

“What’s up with you? Why won’t you come help us?”

“What?”

“Marly is bummed out and sad because you won’t come help us. That you’re too busy on the phone to spend time with us. What’s so important right now?” I asked crossing my arms.

“I was just texting the guys..”

“Aus come on. What is the problem?”

“I just-” he let out a big sigh. “I just don’t know how to do any of this. I feel useless and I don’t know how to help. I’m not helping because I don’t know what to do and it feels weird for once to be the one who isn’t 100% sure of what’s going on.”

“Auston that’s crazy.” I pulled him in for a hug. “We’re here so that you can learn. Of course you don’t know how, I’m going to teach you. No one is here to laugh at you or make you feel bad. We want to all have fun together as a family without distractions.”

“And by distractions you mean phone right?”

“The boys can last a week without being in constant contact babe. As a matter of fact I want to do something. Gimme your phone.”

“What?!”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“Yeah I guess.” he hands it over and I send out a big group message telling the boys Auston is not going to be able to be reached for the next 7 days. I changed the setting to airplane and I changed his passcode.

“Here you go. A very expensive clock/camera.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes. I want you to be in this moment with us. It’s important to me that you’re present and not missing out on this.”

“If it’s important to you okay. I’ll do it. Now how can I help?” we smiled at each other and I dragged him over to Marly who got a big smile on her face and came to hug him. 

“Alright guys let’s start with the poles first. Just grab them and click them in. Be careful not to pinch your fingers Marly.” I showed them how to do it and we all did it fairly easily. Once we were done Marly lifted hers over her head and started hitting Auston making lightsaber noises. “She’s so your kid.” I say chuckling. “Okay now for the slightly harder part. We have to put the poles in the sleeves. Aus help Marly with hers.” we got the poles in and I tied the top while they clipped the sides. We hooked one of the poles in and Auston had to do a lot of helping to get the other one in but once we did, our tents main room was standing. We did a similar process to the entrance way. Once we we were done that Marly went around and hammered in the pegs to hold the tent down while I took pictures of her with my camera. Once that was done we had to put the tarp on the top of the tent.

“Why do we have to do this mommy?”

“So that if it rains we don’t get wet while we’re sleeping.”

“Oooh that makes sense.”

“I’m glad you think so.” we struggled with that part the most and after about 20 minutes, a lot of laughter, and one bathroom break for Marly we were done setting up the tent.

“Mommy can I play?”

“Of course Marly. Come here first though so I can put bug spray on you okay?”

“I guess. But I don’t like the smell.”

“I know it’s not very nice but it’ll help keep the bugs away from you so you aren’t itchy.”

“Alright.”

“Cover your face with your hands and spin around for me.” she did as she was told and I sprayed her down with the bug spray. “Okay if you go into the car your backpack is in there and there are toys in there for you.” with that I sent her off. She took her bag from the car then went and sat under a tree with some of her Barbies. “Auston do you want to learn a knot so we can hang this clothesline?” 

“Um sure but why do we need a clothesline?”

“For our towels and bathing suits silly. We don’t have a dryer here.”

“That’s fair enough. Teach me your ways babe.”

“Okay so this is a Siberian hitch. We’re gonna tie this at one end and a variation of a slipknot on the other tree over there.” I taught him how to do the knots. He wasn’t very good at it but with a few rounds of practice and lots of reassurance and support he got it and we got the clothesline up and secure. “Good job baby.” 

“Why thank you. I have a good teacher.” I gave him a kiss and we went back to the car to start unloading other gear

“Marly come here sweetpea!” I called from inside the tent.

“I’m coming!!” she ran over to the tent door.

“Okay so tent rule number one: Take off your shoes miss missy.”

“Ugh but we’re OUTSIDE!” She said whining a little bit.

“Hey now. We might be outside but we’re sleeping in here. Do you want to sleep on mud?”

“No I guess not..” she sat down on the tarp that was poking out and took her shoes off before crawling in and sitting in front of me. “Now what?”

“Tent rule number two: No food in the tent. We do not want raccoons or skunks in our tent got it?”

“Got it.”

“Tent rule number three: No fire lantern inside.”

“Okay.”

“In fact campsite rule: Marly’s are not allowed to play with the fire things.”

“Boooo.” she crossed her arms.

“Hey no boo listen to your mother.” Auston said opening the tent zipper. He came in and left the door wide open.

“Tent rule number four: Do not leave the door open. Close it as soon as you get in. We want no mosquitos in our tent while we sleep. We will wake up very very itchy.”

“Okay Ash this seems like a lot of rules.”

“Auston you’re gonna be hatin it if you don’t listen.”

“Uuugh fiiiiine.” he said rolling his head back as Marly went to go sit on his lap. “We’ll listen to mommy won’t we Marzbar?”

“I suppoooose.” she said leaning her head back too.

“You guys are nuts.” I said rolling my eyes laughing at them. “Okay Marly what side of the tent belongs to you?”

“I get to choose?”

“Yup which side do you want?” she gets up and walks around the tent one arm crossed and the other tapping her chin with one finger while she looked for the best side.

“I want this one. There’s a pocket for my light and my dolls.” she said touching the pocket.

“Okay baby you can have that side. Do you want to set up your side?”

“Yeah!” 

“Aus can you go get the mattresses and the air pump? I don’t know where you packed them.”

“Yeah for sure babe.”

“Oh and the Extension cord!” I called out the tent.

“Will do. I’ll plug it in too.”

“You wanna hear a funny story Marly?”

“Sure Mommy.”

“Okay so the first time I came here to camp I was six years old and Aunt Amy was four. It was our first time camping so we were a little unprepared. Grandma and Grandpa bought me and Aunt Amy pool floaties to sleep on instead of air mattresses because we couldn’t afford them. So we had little pool toys to sleep on. We had to go over and blow them up over by the bathroom too. So every night we went marching like little ants with these things balancing on our heads so it wouldn’t drag on the ground.”

“How come Uncle Josh didn’t go?”

“He wasn’t born yet baby.”

“Oooh gotcha.” 

��Okay here’s all the stuff Ash.”

“Thanks bean. Let’s set stuff up shall we Marzbar?”

“We shall.”

“And what will I do?” Auston asked.

“Sit there and look pretty.” I said sticking my tongue out at him.

“Hmm not so easy since you two are the pretty ones but I guess I could try.”

“You’re a goof.” I say throwing his pillow at him laughing.

Marly and I finally got the air mattresses blown up. It was made harder by Auston being a nuisance. He kept unplugging the pump and blowing the air into Marly’s face as well as laying on them before I got the plug in.

“Daddy stoooop!” “AUSTON!” me and Marly yelled at the same time as he did it to us again. He was dying of laughter but we were not having as good of a time.

“I’m sorry guys I’m just having fun.”

“It’s okay Daddy it’s not your fault you’re annoying.” I died. Me and Auston were both laughing so hard at that comment.

“And who’s fault is it babygirl?”

“Uncle Mitch.”

“I believe that 100%.” I said still giggling. We got all our stuff figured out and our beds setup. “Do you guys want to go swimming?”

“Yeah yeah yeah!!” Marly exclaimed.

“Shouldn’t we eat first it’s getting close to lunch time..” Auston said looking at his phone.

“Marz, you hungry?”

“Nope.”

“Then nope.”

“Wait but-what?” Auston asked all confused.

“Don’t worry about what time it actually is. We eat when we’re hungry, we sleep when we’re sleepy. That’s how camping works. The only time we need to know the time is for Santa’s village and campsite activities.”

“So we’re following no schedule?”

“Absolutely none whatsoever.” I say giving him a kiss. I helped Marly get changed then went into my sleeping bag to get changed.

“Ash what in the world are you doing?”

“Changing.”

“We could leave.”

“It’s fine.”

“There’s literally a bathroom not 40 feet away from us.”

“I know.”

“You can’t get changed completely under a bag.”

“Yes I can. You’d be surprised what I can do in a sleeping bag.”

“You’re ridiculous. Completely and utterly ridiculous. But I love you to pieces.”

“Love yooou.” I got out of the sleeping bag fully changed. “Let’s go Marly so Daddy can get changed too.”

“Okay Mommy.” we exit the tent and she started walking around 

“Marly come here and put sunscreen on.”

“I don’t wanna.” she said stomping her foot and crossing her arms. 

“We’re gonna go swimming you need to protect yourself from the sun sweetpea.”

“I gueeesss.”

“Good girl.” I made sure she was completely covered before starting on myself. Auston came out of the tent and my jaw dropped as always. I went over to him, put my hands around his waist and looked up at him. “Hey, hey, hey babe. What’s cans spelled backwards?”

“Sssnac-oh my god.” he laughed and rolled his eyes.

“YEAH BOI CUZ YOU LOOKIN LIKE ONE.”

“You’re annoying. Let’s go swimming.”

“Not so fast Auston put some sunscreen on.”

“Pfft I don’t need sunscreen I’m The Auston Matthews.”

“Wow Marly imagine that. Daddy thinks he’s tougher than the sun.” both of us beside each other are crossing our arms.

“That’s funny. Nice try Daddy. Nothing is tougher than the sun.”

“You guys are both annoying.”

“If you don’t put it on we’ll spray you with it in weird patterns.” I say. “Then not only do you get sunburnt still, but it’ll be incredibly uneven.”

“Fine I’ll put it on.” he mumbled rubbing the white lotion on his skin. “You guys are no fun.”

“I know.” Marly said laughing.

“You guys look awful cute you know. In your matching bathing suits. I like them. Can I take a picture of you guys before we go over?”

“Sure baby.” I said giving him a kiss on the head. He went back into the tent to get his phone and then me and Marly posed for him for a couple pictures.

“Enough Daddy.”

“Have you had enough?”

“Yes. I want to swim.” 

“Okay sweetie let’s go.” I put towels, phones, and keys in my backpack. I grabbed my pool noodle and Marly’s toy before we make our trek over to the pool.

“Ash do you seriously need the noodle? I thought you could swim now?”

“Aus I like the noodle. Leave me be. You taught me kind of. I still feel better with a noodle though.”

“Even Marly can swim..” he mumbled quietly.

“Yeah because she’s been in lessons.” I eased into the water which was a little bit cold but not too bad. “Come here Marly.”

“It’s cold.”

“You haven’t even touched the water silly girl.”

“Oh yeah.” she says with a giggle coming over and jumping into my arms from the side of the pool. “It’s warm.” she says matter-of-factly.

“I know silly I’m in here too.” Auston jumped into the deep end just then splashing me and Marly.

“Daddy no!” Marly yelled laughing.

“Let’s go get him baby!” we swam over to him, Marly with her flutterboard and me with my pool noodle. You can’t blame me. I never learned how to swim. Auston tried to teach me once on vacation but we ended up fooling around more than swimming.

“Aah my girls, what may I help you with?” Marly and I looked at each other before we both just splashed a whole lot water in his face. “I guess I deserved that.”

“Yes you did.” Marly said grinning. We stayed at the pool for quite a while alone until another family started walking towards the pool area in bathing suits. They were still quite a ways away but there wasn’t anyone in the field yet so you could see far away. Marly and I were playing catch when Auston come up behind me.

“Get rid of the noodle.” he tried to pull it away from me.

“What no! Why?” he kept trying to get it away. “Auston I can’t swim what are you doing?”

“There’s another family coming.”

“So? Who cares?”

“What if they know me?”

“Ugh who cares? Everyone knows you.” I asked rolling my eyes

“It’s embarrassing okay? That’s a kids pool toy. You’re an adult Ashley.”

I ignored him moving over a bit to grab the ladder.

“Sorry for embarrassing you Auston Matthews.” I spit out quietly calling him Auston Matthews in the way I knew he hated. I pushed the ball hard against his chest and climbed out of the pool.

“Mommy where are you going?” Marly asked swimming over to the side closest to the chair our stuff was on while I wrapped a towel around me wiping my eyes too while I was at it.

“I’m getting out of the water for a bit hun, play catch with Daddy.”

“Okay.” she said swimming away. Auston was fuming and I just stared at him with a raised eyebrow. The other family came in just then. They had two little kids a girl around Marly’s age and a boy a little bit older.

“Hi there!” the overly friendly mom said as they walked in.

“Hey, how’s it going?” I respond with a kind smile.

“It’s great! I love camping!” she said sitting her stuff down on a chair beside me before she took a seat too.

“Is it your first time as a family?”

“Yeah it is. Emmie finally old enough to actually enjoy it, I think, and Alex wanted to come so here we are. It’s my first time here though. What about you?”

“I’ve been here before a lot as a kid. This is Auston and Marly’s first time camping all together though. I finally got him to agree to let us all come.”

“I understand that feeling. My husband, Mitchell, didn’t want to come either. I’m the boss though so here we are.” we both shared a laugh at that as we watched them have fun.

“My name is Ashley.” I tell her after I was done laughing.

“Oh hun I know.” I must have looked at her funny because she very quickly added. “Mitchell is a huge leaf’s fan. He’s gonna flip that we’re staying somewhere with Auston Matthews. I’m sorry that must of sounded so creepy at first I didn’t mean it like that. I’m Eva.”

“It’s nice to meet you Eva.”

“You too Ashley.” we fell into easy conversation after that. It was like we had been friends for a long time and it was great. It definitely helped that we were both 23. Auston kept looking over at me with an angry look on his face while he swam and let Marly play with Emmie and Alex. 

“It looks like Marly and Emmie are really getting along well.”

“They are! It’s so cute! Camping buddies.” we laughed and Auston glared again. “Man Auston sure does seem annoyed..”

“Uugh he is. He’s being stupid.”

“Why what’s going on?”

“I can’t swim. So I was using a pool noodle to play in the pool with Marly. I don’t really need it but it’s more of a comfort thing. Auston and I got in a fight while you guys were walking up because it was embarrassing to him to have me attached to him and be using a pool noodle.”

“That’s sooo dumb.”

“Right!! That’s why I’m just sitting here now. Working on my tan.”

“Man I don’t know how you look like that after having a kid. Not fair.”

“Lucky for me I didn’t gain like any baby weight. I only showed at the very end.”

“I was like that with Emmie but Alex was awful for baby weight. Which I know is totally backwards but that’s what happened.” I heard a little cough and I look up to find Marly dripping all over.

“Why hello little miss Marly.”

“Hi Mommy.”

“Marly this is Emmie’s mom Eva can you say hi?”

“Hi Eva.” she said with a sweet smile.

“Hi Marly nice to meet you. You’re a cute one aren’t you?”

“Yes. Just like Mommy.” Eva laughed and looked at me as I rolled my eyes.

“She spends too much time with her dad.” I say laughing. “What can I do for you hm?”

“Can we make some food? I’m hungry.”

“Of course we can Marzbar here dry off a little first though.” I wrapped her up in her towel and laid her down beside me on the chair. I tickled her sides causing her to squeal. “My sweet little burrito.”

“I’m not a burrito Mommy!”

“Of course not darling.” I pat her leg and turn back to my conversation with Eva. “Well it looks like we will be leaving soon. Where are you guys staying?”

“We might be staying right beside you. We’re lot 78.”

“We’re 77! That’s so exciting! Marly did you hear that? Emmie is camping right beside us!”

“Really?! And we can play?” she asked Eva who laughed.

“Yes of course you can play!”

“Yay thank you!”

“Oh here comes angery boi.”

“Okay when he comes over you can say stuff about who he is but like let him introduce himself first and please don’t get crazy. He hates it.”

“Well good thing my husband is in town getting some stuff we forgot lol.”

“Did you just say lol out loud?” she shrugged and we both laughed really hard.

“Hey Ash, who’s this?” he asked coming up and grabbing his towel from me.

“This is Eva! She’s our camp neighbor!”

“Hi Eva nice to meet you. I’m Auston.” he put his hand out for her to shake which she did.

“Nice to meet you Auston. You play a mean game of hockey.”

“Oh haha yeah I guess.” he says blushing.

“Um wow no need to get all blushy and shy it was just a fact boy.” she said laughing.

“Alright well we should get going and make this monkey some food. We’ll see ya later!”

“Okay bye.”

“Bye Emmie, bye Alex. See you later!” Marly said excitedly waving from Auston’s arms as we left. We walked by in relative silence, just Marly babbling about her new friends when we got to the tent Auston stayed outside so we could get changed first. “They’re really fun Mommy!”

“I know baby I saw you having fun with them in the pool!”

“Alex knew who Daddy was. He was too scared to say anything though. I thought it was funny.”

“Why did you think it was funny Marly? That’s not very nice.”

“It’s not funny, funny. It’s funny weird. I don’t know how anyone would be scared of Daddy, that’s all.”

“Ooh gotcha. That’s fair enough. Daddy is liked by a lot of people. He’s kind of a big deal right now.”

“Why?” she asked incredulously.

“Because he’s a leaf honey. Hockey players are a big deal. Uncle Mitchie is a big deal too ya know.”

“Isn’t uncle Mitch a little annoying to be a big deal?”

“A little.” I said laughing. “But they are. That’s something you’ll learn Marly a lot of people know him and think he’s incredible.”

“He is incredible.”

“He sure is. Okay. Now what do you wanna wear? It’s getting close to supper time so it’s gonna get cold soon so how about some pants?”

“I want my star pants.”

“Okay, and we’ll put your bluejays shirt back on too okay?”

“Okay!” I got her changed and sent her out to Auston while I got changed into some simple legging and my favourite cat shirt. I brought Marly’s brush out of the tent so I could brush her wild pool hair.

“Alright Aus go get changed and then we can start this fire and make some food.”

“K.” he got up and left.

“Why is Daddy mad?” Marly asked while I brushed her hair.

“He’s just mad at me because I’m embarrassing sweetpea, don’t worry. It’ll all be fixed don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. No worries. This campsite is a worry free zone missy.”

“Okay.” she said shrugging.

“Do you want to learn how to set up a fire?”

“Yeah!”

“Okay come on.” I opened up the bag of wood and brought some pieces over to the fire pit. “Okay so we’re gonna make a little teepee okay? So let’s put three up together and make them stay.”

“This is impossible!” she exclaimed after a few tries.

“No it’s not here let me help.” I helped her and she got it eventually very proud of herself. “Now we just pile it on top of these three. Easy peasy.” we finished relatively quickly and she posed for me to take a picture of her with her fire set up.

“Easy peasy.” she said getting up. “Now what?”

“Well we need to rip up some paper to crumple up and catch on fire first before the wood will catch.”

“I can do that!”

“Okay baby here you go. Maybe rip and crumple half this little book okay?”

“Okay.”

“Then we put it underneath like this see?”

“Yeah!”

“Ash can I talk to you.” Auston demanded.

“Marz do you think you can handle paper duty?”

“Duh.” she said rolling her eyes at me. Me and Auston walked a little ways away from her.

“Oh no Auston Matthews are you sure you can be seen with me right now? I’m not embarrassing you am I?”

“Stop calling me that.” he said getting angry. His jaw was doing the thing and I was dying. I love it when it clenches like that. “I want to talk like normal adults.”

“Fine then talk.”

“You’ve been in a mood.”

“You’ve been a dick.”

“What? How?”

“You said you were embarrassed by me and what I was doing.”

“Ash-”

“No you listen to me Auston. If you can’t handle parts about me and are embarrassed to be seen with me tell me. Because this is shitty and I feel awful. I’m just trying to share a happy experience with my family and day one has been crappy because I’m embarrassing the love of my life and he’s ashamed of me.” I was crying again and he pulled me into his arms tight whispering to me.

“Hey no. You’re not embarrassing me and I have never ever been ashamed of you. I could never be. I love you so much. I fucked up. Bad. I didn’t mean to say it like that or make it seem like you’re bad for me to be seen with or anything. You and Marly are the only two I ever want to be seen with.”

“Okay..”

“I mean it Ashley. I mean it with every fiber of my being. I’m sorry I made you feel so bad.”

“I forgive you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” I say giving him a smile and a jaw kiss. “Now come on Marly’s ready to start a fire.”

“Hey little one whatcha doin?” Auston asked sitting beside her on the ground.

“I ripped the paper and I think it’s ready. Mommy will you check?”

“Of course darlin.” I crouched down and moved some of the paper around a little bit before smiling at her. “You did a very good job Marzbar.” 

“Yay! Thank you!”

“Okay so now is the adult part. You stand back okay Marly?”

“Okay.” she said saluting very seriously and taking a few steps back.

“Alright Aus, time to learn how to start a fire. Grab those matches over there on the table?”

“Sure babe.” he brought them over and crouched down next to me.

“Alright so now we’re going to light all along the paper and eventually the wood will catch.”

“Why can’t we just light the wood?”

“Because Aus, it won’t catch right away. Tomorrow I’ll show you how to use fire starting cubes and sticks. It’ll be rad. But you always need some kind of starter.”

“Oooh okay.” Marly said nodding.

“Sorry Ash, that was a stupid question..” he said looking down and frowning a bit.

“Hey hey hey. Turn that frown upside down. There is no reason to be sad or apologize. It wasn’t a dumb question at all cutiepie.” I kissed his hand after to try to and get him in a better mood.

“Okay..let’s start this fire?”

“Okay baby.” me and Auston both took matches and started lighting all around the paper. Soon enough the wood caught and we had us a fire going.

“Marly what do you want for supper?”

“I want hotdogs!”

“Well that’s good sweetie, we’ll be eating hotdogs a lot this week.” I said chuckling bringing the cooler and the cooking utensils over to the picnic table. “Okay Marly I’m gonna teach you how to roast a hotdog. Are you ready?”

“Yes Mommy!!”

“Okay so here’s what we’re going to do. You take one and you jab it through onto this poker like this.” I demonstrated and she did the same thing. “Now come over here with me to the fire.”

“But you said camp rule no Marly’s by the fire.”

“I said no playing by the fire. You can cook and sit by the fire. I’m sorry darling I should’ve been more clear.”

“Um yeah you should’ve. It would be waaay more helpful.”

“Okay miss attitude come here.” she came over to where I was and stood there. “Now all you have to do is hold the hotdog in the flame. Close to the wood but try not to touch it, it’ll be a little yucky if you touch the wood with it.”

“Will you help me?”

“Of course babygirl.” I went behind her and helped her hold the poker and cook her food. All the while I could hear and see Auston taking pictures of the two of us.

“This is fun Mommy. I like this.”

“I’m really really glad Marly.” I said giving her a kiss on her temple. We stayed there cooking for a little bit before Auston made his way over.

“Is there room for me to come cook?” he asked Marly.

“Of course there is Daddy!” she said with a giggle. “Look at all the fire!”

“What if I want your fire?”

“No.” she said simply making Auston laugh.

“Like mother like daughter.” he said referring to the first time we met.

“Shut up.” I said rolling my eyes at him.

“Mommy I think it’s done!” Marly exclaimed.

“Yes it looks like it. Okay come back to the table. Be very careful not to trip with that.” she made her way over with no problems thank goodness. “I’m gonna take the hotdog off because if you touch the metal you will burn your little fingers.”

“Oh no!”

“We do not want that.”

“No that’ll hurt. Remember when uncle Mitch burned his fingers on the stove? He said bad words and cried!”

“Yes honey it really hurts so don’t touch okay?”

“Okay I’ll let you and daddy get it off then.” 

“Probably a good idea.” I said taking off her hotdog and putting it in a bun. “Ketchup or no?”

“Definitely ketchup!” 

“Okay darling, here you go. Let me set up the camp chairs so you can sit by the fire and eat.” I brought out a little chair and set it up far enough away from the fire that she wouldn’t be a risk to get hurt by it or fall in. I set up mine and Auston’s while we were at it.

“Thank you Mommy.” 

“You’re very welcome Miss Marly.” I ruffled her hair and went back over to where Auston was at the table.

“I made us both some food while you were helping Marly.” he said smiling at you handing over a plate of food.

“Baby you’re the best.” I went on my tip toes and gave him a kiss. “I’m so lucky.”

“You are really lucky.” he said in fake seriousness before laughing. “I love you.”

“I love you too Auston Matthews.” I said in a happy day dreamy voice.

“Now that is the way I like to hear my full name coming from your mouth.” he gave me another kiss and we went to sit and eat with Marly. While we were eating Leah and her kids came back to their site giving us a wave.

“Mommy can we invite them over to our campfire later?”

“Sure we can darling. Oh yeah Auston?”

“What baby?”

“Eva said her husband Mitchell is a really really big leaf fan. She’s going to tell him to behave but I just want to warn you he might be a little crazy.”

“Alright that’s okay I guess. I’m sorry I can’t get away from being a leaf Ashley, I know you wanted this to be about all of us as a family and not about leaf stuff..”

“Aus don’t be sorry. It’s who you are and no one can take that away baby. I’m so proud of you for all your leaf stuff. I just wanted to warn you so you aren’t surprised, my love.”

“Thank you Ash, you’re a blessing.” Marly coughed interrupting us.

“If you’re done being groooooss can I make some desert?”

“Do you want to go over and see if Emmie wants to come make smores?”

“Yes, yes, yes!!” she said clapping her hands in excitement. “Daddy will you come too?”

“I’m going to stay with the fire babygirl you go with mommy and bring her over.”

“Booo.”

“Hey no boo. Let’s go little bean.” I took her hand and we walked through a couple trees to their side of the site line. It was starting to get dark but we could still see just enough to not need a lantern yet. “You hoo hi neighbours.”

“Oh hey Ash!” Leah said looking up from doing up the tent. “Hi Marly, what’s up?”

“We were wondering if you guys wanted to come over and have smores with us?”

“All of us? Including Mitchell?”

“Yeah of course! I warned Auston and he’s not really bothered.”

“Okay sure! Let me go get them, they’re at the playground.”

“Alright we’ll see you in a few.” I walked Marly back to the site and she sat down again.

“Are they coming over?” Auston asked Marly.

“Yes Daddy! I’m so excited I love marshmallows.”

“I’m happy for you Marzbar.” he said laughing. A few minutes later I heard some children laughing and looked up to find the family of four walking over.

“Don’t be crazy. I can see the crazy building and I’m telling you right damn now, do not be crazy.” I heard Eva mumble as she walked up holding her husband’s hand.

“Hey Eva!” I say walking over to them. “Hi, you must be Mitchell. I’m Ashley.”

“Yeah that’s me nice to meet you too. Eva’s been talking about you guys all day.”

“Yeeeah well you’ve been talking about him for like 6 years sooo who’s really the annoying one?” Eva said sarcastically back at him.

“Shut up.” he said blushing which made me and Eva laugh.

“Hey Emmie, Alex. Marly is veeerry excited to see you guys again.” I said crouching down to be at eye level with the little girl and boy holding their dad’s hand.

“Dad can we play?” Alex asked pulling at his dad’s hand.

“Yeah go ahead guys.” with that the two took off and went over to the picnic table where Marly was sitting, who got very excited and squealed in delight when she saw her friends coming over. Auston was just kind of awkwardly looking at everyone around while getting smore stuff ready for the kids. I forgot sometimes that he also got overwhelmed and nervous with new people. 

“Here come meet Auston.” I said leading the way over to my beautiful man. “Aus, babe meet Mitchell!”

“Oh um..” he was still visibly nervous, not to others but to me it was. He looked the same way when he met my grandma years ago. I went over and put my arms around his waist, squeezing for reassurance. “Hi Mitchell, it’s nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine dude. I’m a huge fan.” he said shaking his hand with a big smile on his face. Auston blushed but smiled too.

“Thanks man, I appreciate it.” 

“So did you get dragged here too?”

“Dude did I ever. Ash had been begging for months to go here.” auston said rolling his eyes.

“Hey! Don’t act like you aren’t having fun right now.” I said hitting his chest he just smiled at me but ignored my comment falling into easy conversation with Mitchell. Me and Eva went over to the campfire sitting in my and Auston’s chairs.

“Soo? Did you fix things with angery boi?”

“Yeah, I kinda cried at him and he apologized. He’s been having a hard time coming here.”

“How come?”

“Because camping is my thing and he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He really hates not knowing how to do things and this is all brand new for him.”

“Oh okay I understand.”

“Yeah so it kinda sucks but I’m trying to be patient with him because he’s just frustrated that he never got to learn how to do this ‘normal stuff’ when I got to learn it because he was too busy with hockey. He’s not mad at me.”

“But he is kind of taking it out on you.”

“That’s true, but I can handle it.”

“It didn’t seem like it earlier.” she said laughing at me.

“Well there is a reason for that.”

“Which is..?” she asked turning to look at me. I opened my mouth to answer but was interrupted by a couple little girls.

“Hello mommy.” Marly said sweetly.

“Hi pumpkin, what can we do for you two?” I asked pulling her up on my lap.

“Can we make smores now?”

“Of course Mar, let’s go. Daddy already has everything set up over there by the picnic table.”

“Alex won’t go over there.” Emmie said to us.

“How come Em?”

“He’s scared Mama. Auston is his favourite.”

“Oh my. Okay well you girls go over and ask them for help, we’ll talk to Alex.” I say sending them on their way before Eva and I walked over to where Alex was sitting on a blanket.

“Hey lil buddy, what’s goin on?”

“Mom did Em tell her that I’m scared?” he asked looking at me.

“She did tell me I’m sorry Alex. Why are you scared though?”

“He’s my favourite..what if he doesn’t like me?”

“Oh Alex that’s crazy talk.” Eva said brushing his shaggy brown hair from his eyes. “You’re a wonderful little boy I’m sure he’ll like you.”

“Auston is a very, very nice man. I used to be scared of him too you know?” I told Alex.

“What you? No way!”

“Yes way. He was my favourite too. I didn’t think he’d like me either, but then he did. In fact the first time I met him I accidentally punched him in the nose.”

“Woah. And he still liked you?”

“Yeah he did, very much.”

“Well if you can punch him and get him to almost marry you, I think I can meet him and be his friend.”

“You definitely can.” Eva said.

“For sure lil dude.” I stood up and offered my hands to his to pull him up. “Let’s go meet Auston and make smores with the girls okay?”

“Okay!!” he took both my and Eva’s hand and dragged us over to the rest of them but stopped short. “Ashley will you introduce me to him?”

“Of course darlin! Come on.” I walk over to Auston who had his back to us and faceplanted into his back to get his attention making him laugh.

“Hi cutie whatcha doing?” he asked laughing

“You are his favourite. He’s very nervous.” I mumbled into his back before he turned around.

“Auston this is Alex, Alex meet Auston.” I couldn’t help but smile at Alex’s wide eyed expression.

“Wow..Hi Auston Matthews..”

“Hi buddy, how are you doing?” Auston asked crouching down in front of him.

“I’m doing really, really good.”

“Do you want to come make smores with me?”

“YOU want to make smores with ME?” he asked incredulously.

“I sure do. Only if you want to though of course.”

“Yes! I would love to do that!!” he said jumping up and down with a big smile before giving him a hug which Auston returned with a chuckle.

“Okay little bud, come on!” he took his hand and led him over to the girls and Mitchell.

“That is so cute. Can I take pictures?” Eva asked me.

“Yeah of course! If you wouldn’t mind though don’t post them until we’re gone from here? We don’t want to be super bombarded ya know? Like just in case.”

“Oh yeah for sure. This is just a dream come true for both my boys and I want to capture it. Especially for Alex.” she said as she took a picture of Auston helping Alex roast the marshmallow.

“It actually warms my heart. Auston has always wanted a boy.” I said smiling fondly at the love of my life.

“Why don’t you have another?”

“I want to. I just don’t know if it’s the right time ya know?” I took a pause thinking. “Actually you know what I trust you. I’m  pregnant right now.”

“Woah what?!”

“You can’t tell anyone. I mean it.”

“Does Auston know?”

“Absolutely not. I found out when he was in the playoffs and he’s been in a mood since so I haven’t wanted to stress him out or upset him. I’m going to either tell him on this trip or once we get home.”

“How far along?”

“About 14 weeks.”

“Wow that’s so exciting! I’m happy for you!”

“Thank you. But remember no telling anyone until I tell Auston.”

“I promise on my kids lives not a word to anyone.”

“Thank you. I’m hoping it’s the little boy Auston has always wanted. He loves Marly to bits but it’s just not the same. He wants a little hockey boy.”

“I understand that. Mitchell always wanted a boy first to enjoy hockey with. Both of the kids love it but Alex more.”

“See the problem is that Marly is very, very much like me. She wants to be like him too but he only sees that she’s like me. It’s a shame because Marly wants to play hockey like him but he wants a hockey boy.”

“That really is too bad. Why don’t you sign Marly up anyway?”

“I already have for this september. I’ve been teaching her while hockey season is going in secret. She’s really good already. Definitely Auston Matthews kid, the talent is in the genes. It’s actually crazy honestly.”

“Oooh sneaky.” she said making me laugh.

“Mommy!” Marly called to me.

“What little bean?”

“Daddy is soooo bad at this!”

“Hey little missy I’m trying. Alex thinks I’m doing good right, buddy?”

“Yeah! He made mine perfect!”

“Yeah!” he gave Alex a high-five and they stuck their tongue out at Marly to which she folded her arms and let out a small ‘hmph’.

“Moooommyyyy.”

“I’m coming to help babygirl don’t worry.” me and Eva went over to the fire, her sitting with her daughter, husband, son, and Auston while I went to the other side to be with Marly. I grabbed more cookies and chocolate and she sat on my lap.

“I don’t even know what to do..” she pouted.

“Hey no pouty faces I will teach you. You see where the wood is glowing?”

“Yes.”

“That’s the best spot to roast em, but don’t get too close or it’ll light on fire.”

“Oh no!”

“Yeah sometimes. I like mine on fire, but I don’t like them as much as you do. We’re just going to toast yours okay?”

“Sounds good Mommy.” she said smiling up at me.

“Okay monkey, let’s do it.” I helped her get it all nice and golden. “Okay take it away from the fire babybean.”

“Now what?”

“I’m gonna take these two cookies and give it the ol’ smoosheroo.”

“The ol’ smoosherooooo!” she repeated giggling as I put the cookies on either side on the marshmallow.

“You reeeeady?” I ask her as she nods frantically. “Smoosh!”

“Now what?” she asked after she finished giggling.

“I’m gonna give it a pull, hold on tight.” she nodded and I gave an exaggerated pull of the smore. I started taking a video, wanting to get her reaction to tryring her first smore. “Oh wow beautiful! Excellent smore! I have never seen such an amazing camp treat!”

“Thank you, thank you. I did it all by myself.”

“All by yourself huh?”

“Uh huh.” she said nodding.

“Okay sure no help anywhere to be seen right?”

“Of course not. I need no help, I’m a big girl.”

“Okay my big girl, take a bite!” she brought the treat to her mouth and took a little bite before her eyes went big.

“This is so good!! Mommy! Mommy this is so good!” she started jumping up and down in excitement.

“Do you like it Marly?”

“Yesyesyes!” she said with her mouth full and marshmallow on her face.

“You’ve got it all over your face sweetpea!”

“I don’t care.”

“I do.”

“It’s too yummy to care Mommy!” she said exasperatedly flinging her arms out. I stopped the video giggling at my daughter.

“You’re crazy monkey.”

“Daddy!! Daddy look at my smore!” she said excitedly running over to him.

“Cool Marly.” he said not looking at her.

“Try it! It tastes good! I did a good job!!”

“I’m sure you did.” he was just ignoring her which was making her sad.

“Can I try some Marly?” Eva asked, making her little face light up again.

“Yeah!” she ran back over to where I was. She got up on Eva’s lap and fed her a bite of smore.

“Wow you did a very good job Miss Mar.”

“Thank you!!” she said sitting on her lap kicking her legs happily looking at me eating the rest of her smore. After a little while Emmie and Alex started getting tired, both of them yawning and snuggling up, Em with her dad and Alex with Auston. Which was cute but Marly was sitting glaring at the two from between me and Eva which we both noticed.

“Alright, we better be getting going to put you guys to bed. It’s been a long day and I’ve got two sleepy heads on my hands over there.”

“No mum I’m awake.” Alex said rubbing his little eyes.

“Nope we’re going back to the tent to go to sleep. Get off Auston and let’s go.” she said sternly to her boy.

“I’ll bring him back over to the tent if it’s okay with you guys?” Auston asked Mitchell and Eva before she could answer though Mitchell did.

“Yeah sure dude! Thanks.” and the two of them got up with the kids in their arms and a lantern in hand to go over to their site. Once they were out of earshot Leah turned to me.

“I’m sorry.. I was trying to go so that Marly wouldn’t be upset but it looks like it’s just been made worse.”

“Eva it’s not your fault at all. Auston is just excited about there being a boy around.”

“Hey Miss Marly?” she said kneeling in front of the pouting little girl.

“What?”

“I’m very sorry that Alex is taking your dad’s attention. Are you mad at us?”

“No I’m not angry. I’m sad. I just wanted to show daddy my smore..”

“I’m sorry hunny. Do you still want to play with Emmie?”

“Yeah! I don’t want Emmie to go! She’s my camp friend!”

“Okay I just wanted to make sure. Goodnight Marly, we’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay bye bye.” Eva got up and left with a wave to me and another quiet apology.

“Come here babybean.” I said sitting down in my chair with my arms out to her. She came over quickly and curled up on my lap. I had a blanket and wrapped it around us both while I sat rocking her in front of the fire.

“Will you sing to me mommy?” she asked quietly.

“Of course Marly.” I say putting on one of the songs that make her feel better which was Turning Page by Sleeping At Last. It always calmed her down and I loved it so it worked out well. I put it on repeat and sang it to her the first couple times. “Are you okay darling?”

“I’m alright Mommy. Just a little sad.”

“Well don’t be sad. Tomorrow Daddy will be spending all day with just us at the park.”

“No he’s gonna go with Alex..”

“No he isn’t.”

“Yes..”

“Hey, who’s the boss?”

“Mommy’s the boss.” she said with a little smile poking me in the chest.

“Exactly. I’ll make sure Daddy comes with us.”

“Thank you Mommy.”

“I love you Marly. Forever and always.”

“I love you too.”

“Yeah? For real?”

“For really real.” she snuggled into my arms with Ingwaz that I hadn’t noticed her take out. “Can I go to sleep?”

“Of course Mar, I’ll bring you in to bed don’t worry.”

“Thank you Mommy. Goodnight, I love you.” she said quietly closing her eyes while I sang to her again. I put the playlist on shuffle though so it wasn’t the same thing the whole time. Not that it mattered much since she was out before the next song started. I sat there for a while before I saw a lantern coming over, I was hoping it was Auston so I could put Marly to bed without worrying about leaving the fire but it wasn’t. It was Eva again. I motioned for her to be quiet and to sit while I brought Marly to bed. I tucked her into her sleeping bag and put her light in her little pocket by her bed. I zipped up the tent and went back over to the fire, running a hand through my hair.

“I’m sorry. Auston and Mitchell are doing a full on play  out of green eggs and ham for Alex and Emmie. Although Em is already asleep.” she said chuckling. I put the fire out while she was talking.

“It’s not your fault. Auston is doing this not you. It’s not your fault you have a son. I don’t hold you accountable.”

“It still sucks and I still feel awful.”

“Let’s go lay over in the field?”

“Sure but what about Marly?”

“I’ve got the baby monitor just in case. Come on. I don’t want Auston to hear us.” I grabbed a lantern and Marly’s play blanket and we went over to the field spreading it out before turning off the lantern so I could look at the stars. “I didn’t recognize you without your red hair at first.”

“I was wondering how long it would take for you to remember.” she said with a chuckle.

“Literally as soon as you said lol out loud I knew for sure. You look a lot different without your piercings and stuff.”

“Yeah well babies like to pull things out of your face sometimes and I do not like it.”

“That’s fair enough dude.”

“So you aren’t mad about the whole Auston thing?”

“Of course not Eva, I’m just a little worried.”

“How come?”

“What if this baby happens to be a boy? Will Auston treat Marly like this if he has a boy of his own?”

“I hope not.”

“I genuinely don’t think Marly will be able to handle it. She’s already sad and thinks Auston is going to spend our family time with Alex.”

“He won’t. I’ll keep them all away if you want me to.”

“Are you guys going to the park tomorrow?”

“We were thinking about it. Why are you?”

“Yeah.”

“Then we won’t.”

“Eva come on you don’t have to do that..” I said feeling bad.

“No. I’m going to do that. There’s no reason that little girl should be scared all day that her dad is going to ditch her for some boy he just met.”

“Eva I actually can’t thank you enough. It broke my heart when Marly told me she thought it was just going to be me and her while Auston went with you guys.”

“No we aren’t breaking any hearts. We’ll stay away tomorrow at least from the park.”

“The next day or even after if you guys want a day together alone it’s the least we can do, but we can go as a group? We’ll pay. I just really want to give Marly a chance to enjoy it and have family time ya know?”

“I completely understand.” we got quiet for a few minutes just looking at the stars before she spoke up again. “I wouldn’t worry too much. About Auston I mean.”

“I just don’t want him to leave her out like he was today. That would be awful.”

“It would but I’m positive you wouldn’t let it happen and I promise now that I’m back he’s not going to. I’ll come to your house and fight him.”

“Dude actually do it.” I said laughing. It turned into a yawn though.

“Okay well now that you’ve figured out who I am and we’ve talked, you go to sleep. You and the little one need it. I’ll try my best to get your boy back to you as soon as possible.”

“Thank you so much.” we walked back over to my tent and I went inside waving bye. “See you tomorrow.”

“Have a goodnight Ash.” once she left I zipped the tent and got into pajamas before curling up in my sleeping bag on the far side so Auston wouldn’t have to crawl over me. I didn’t fall asleep, waiting for Auston. He didn’t come back for almost an hour after that. I was crying of course but it didn’t really matter, I cried a lot these days. The sleeping bag that had been unzipped and used as a comforter was now zipped for one. He came in and I kept my back to him while he got changed and came to the air mattress. 

“Babe what are you doing?” he asked in a whisper. I didn’t answer pretending to be asleep. “Ash I know you’re not asleep. That’s not how you breathe while you’re sleeping. Come ooon why won’t you talk to me?”

“Mmm what do you want?” I ask turning over to look at him.

“Cuddle meeeee.”

“Um wow needy.” I said with a laugh. I didn’t do anything but I let him unzip the sleeping bag and put it back like normal, too tired to fight but I still didn’t want to see him so I stayed facing away while he got situated and spooned me.

“Goodnight baby. I love you.”

“Goodnight Auston. Love you.” I said short before falling asleep.

[finderskeepersff]

62.

It’s odd my brother got a new number anyways, I figured it out about the number. Well I didn’t figure it out, I just asked who it is and it’s Leyton. He must miss me because he just texts me so much, I offered for him to visit me for Christmas but he declined. Locking my phone before stretching my arms out, I am tired but I am not complaining I got to stay in bed longer than usual, Cassius woke up with Cartier and I was like sure let me turn on my side and go back to sleep. I am a little shocked with Cassius, I assumed he was going to be jumping off the walls and catching the first flight out, he didn’t. He stayed home and remained here without a care but I see it, I see that slight change in a good way. He does things himself mostly, I don’t have to ask or say to him he has to do this. His confidence has changed, I think he has remembered that he is boss and it’s hit him but in a good way, I think he is moving slow or doing something different this time. My phone pinged, Leyton has been on it with this texting and I am not even joking. Looking at my phone, it is him. Unlocking my phone and opening the message.

From: Leyton

To: Sofia

You really having another baby with him??

Not like him to question me on my decisions and besides, I know he likes Cassius so I think unless Celine has told him something different, texting him back.

To: Leyton

From: Sofia

I am, and I am happy with that decision. We both are x

Pressing send and sighed out, let me get out of bed. I need to check on my men, throwing my phone to the side. Pushing my bed covers back, I feel a lot different with this pregnancy. I am not sure, I am not as sick and also my stomach is not big as it was with Cartier, like it’s not already big. There is a small pouch anyways, I will take that. Maybe it is a girl, this is why it’s so different but I feel it and I like it this way. I am beginning to accept this a lot, I think it is more to do with the fact I have Cassius here to help in which I needed a lot. Dragging myself up on the bed, I would like to just stay in bed all day.

Normality, what a feeling and I love it. Walking into the living area “the hell you doing boy, you don’t crawl like that. Boy, you ain’t even moving” he is annoying Cartier, I can tell he is and with the way Cartier is screaming, he is annoyed “you being mad loud for no reason too” peaking over the couches, Cassius and Cartier are both on the floor, Cassius can really leave my son alone on the floor, he is just there annoying him. Cartier crawling is really funny, like he refuses to use his legs, he’s just dragging himself across the floor with his arms. Cartier gripped Cassius tee “you threatening me? Wow! Cartier, you being threatening to me!?” Cassius laughed, watching my son dragging himself up. He stands, I mean with the support of something he does. Cartier face planted onto Cassius top “no way! You drooling as shit too” Cassius moved him back onto his butt, after all that work and he did that “you bullying my son Cassius” Cartier waved his arms around and cried out “he learning, I ain’t do anything. He only crying because he heard your voice, he was struggling and I helped him” Cassius laughed “sure you was” walking around the couch “my baby boy, what did he do” Cartier cried out more “I know he is being annoying” picking Cartier from the floor “it’s ok, mommy is here now” kicking Cassius in the stomach lightly “there you go, I hit him for you” walking over to the couch.

Turning Cartier around on my lap “you know when Cartier goes through all that effort for you to just put him back to stage one, he gets very temperamental, remind you of anyone?” I smiled at Cassius “reminds me of someone called Cassius, he’s a good looking guy you know” pulling a face at him “he ain’t all that, you wish” pressing a kiss to the side of Cartier’ face “how are you feeling?” I love my baby boy so much, he is so calm in my arms. Rocking side to side with him “I am ok, taking every day as it comes. I still want you to get rid of them phones, I don’t want them. My plan is, start new” watching Cassius get up from the floor “I mean if you want me to do that I will, I don’t mind. I just thought you had numbers in there” he really doesn’t want them phones back, Cassius in sweatpants is a thing for me. He crouched down in front of me “I was thinking, we need Christmas tree and things. Why don’t I take you out for that and also for some food with Cartier” tilting my head to the side “really?” he nodded his head “I want to be different, change and all that. I want the house to look dope for Cartier, only we can do that. Also I know you are not happy with me with having weed but I am ok, I think it helps me. I didn’t come all this way to go back to drugs Sofia, I don’t want you to be upset with me either. I have a clear mind, even with what happened with Kyle, I ain’t spoken to him still but eventually. I want to take you out, all three of you” how can I even be angry with that, I swear my heart falls every time “it ain’t late to make memories is it?” shaking my head “and you hammer head, relax. I be playing, you got issues” see how calm Cartier is with me, with Cassius he is just loud.

Cassius is watching me get ready, seems like a thing he likes to do and hasn’t stopped with the tradition “so you have never picked out a tree before? Not even gone to a store?” I asked Cassius, he’s never done these cute things “nope, it just appeared I guess. I walked into the house and there it was. It was never something I was involved with, I paid out though” poking my lips out at him “that is not good but you can experience it for the first time with me, we will get a proper tree. I know a place, well I seen it. We will pick it out and everything, make it special for us” smiling at him, let me finish off my mascara. Walking back into the bathroom “that will be good, I was thinking like. Where the tree at” I swear I am behind on my make-up, this is Cassius fault “I am thinking though, what are you up too with things. It’s like you are being quiet with things” I am wondering “soon, I just want to take it slow. I need to think of the dangers. Also I am thinking hard on marrying you, so I got that too” I smiled to myself, I want that more than anything.

Opening the car back door “you getting the stroller out?” I shouted out, if not I will get it and let her take Cartier “actually you get Cartier, you pregnant” I do forget sometimes, walking around the car “you sure, I don’t mind getting it” Sofia said, pressing the button on the key so the trunk can open “it’s cool, I got it. This place is busy, does it do delivery service? I ain’t having that shit on my car” I know the real ones make such a mess “yeah they do” grabbing Cartier’ stroller from the back “so how do I open this?” I am being dead ass with this because Sofia does it all of the time “wait, let me point it out. There is leaver at the back, just push it out. It will pop open” a leaver, the fuck is that. Looking around the stroller “here” Sofia walked over to me “there” she pointed out “just push it, it will pop open” pushing the leaver, just like that it popped open “wow, learnt something new. Look at that boy, hey boy! I learnt something new” Cartier smiled at me “you need to learn this, remember that for next time. We might need a stroller for twins actually” furrowing my eyebrows at Sofia “you’re having twins? I mean I am all for kids but twins?” Sofia laughed as she strapped Cartier in “no, it’s because he is still small and he will need the stroller still. I need it to fit them both in” letting out an oh, I get it.

Tree picking is supposed to be fun, I am not sure because it seems boring a little. I mean I do like it, I got Sofia wrapping her arm around mine as we walked around, I am pushing the stroller, as I would “how about that one?” I asked pointing to a tall, thin Christmas tree with few pine leaves “that is ugly as shit” she said in disgust “It's tall, but thin. You want it to be thick with lots of pine leaves? That shit will be everywhere” Sofia nods and we continue to walk along, I really want her to pick anything now “How about that one?” I am not even lying, I am picking out anything right now “It's tall and thick. And there's lots of pine needles” I added, Sofia shook her head “It's a little lopsided” I scoffed “your eyebrows are” I said, Sofia gasped hitting my shoulder “be quiet” I grinned as we continued to walk by lots of trees, lots of people too. I didn’t know so many people did this kind of thing “this one!” Sofia pointed “have you seen the size of it?” is she crazy “have you see the size of our home? The high ceilings we have, this will be perfect. I want it!” who the hell going to decorate that “are you serious?” Sofia moved away from me and made her way to the tree, she has made her mind up on this one.

I wasn’t about to go and buy ornaments without eating, I know Cartier has fallen asleep but I know if he was awake he would be hungry like me “you done?” Sofia sat down across from me “yeah, they still not bought our food out? I am so hungry but I wanted to say, I am so happy you wanted to do this with me. To go out and do this, to not have dragged you to do it and you wanted too. Thank you, you have made me very happy and also I have something to tell you. I mean it’s not bad news but it kind of helps me make a decision on what I want to do so” she dragged out “so Mia got me tickets and also Amira to go Cali. A girls time away, and it’s like next week, I wasn’t sure at all. Cartier and everything. I said to her no and make it for next time, only time she got off so my only option is you. That means you need to look after him all weekend while I go but I feel like being away from him for that long, it’s too much. It’s my son, to leave him. I just want to know how you feel and think to this?” sitting back in my seat, I have been getting followed throughout this whole day “I think” catching Kalia staring at me “you think what?” Sofia said “I think, you should go. Have time away, you deserve it Sofia” her face softened “really?” nodding my head “it’s fine, I can deal with Cartier, you will be back and then it’s Christmas, it’s ok” Sofia smiled at me so wide “are you sure?” nodding my head getting up from my seat “I need the bathroom” Kalia walked by the table “ok” walking off towards the bathroom.

Looking behind me at Sofia, she is at her phone. Turning towards the kitchen, following behind Kalia. It’s funny what you can do when you have a badge, the cooks just stared as we walked by them to get to the back of the building. Closing the door behind me “had fun following me today?” she really likes doing it “we need to have contact better” she is alone today “for what exactly?” walking around her “when I found out you had an informant in the building, I found it. Nobody else, I threatened him. Makes me wonder why you didn’t chose me” I sniggered “women aren’t the trusting type you see, I don’t really trust you Kalia” she is big headed, she is giving me that vibe. She unfolded a piece of paper “I assumed you wouldn’t, this” she held it up “is the paperwork to put through for your home to be raided again, I was supposed to put it through. They want to find anything they can to pin things on you, you think I would risk myself to just come here for nothing. Cassius I know everything about you, I have seen everything. Talking about informant, he was ready to get you in trouble. He had a case on you” I shrugged “still don’t understand why you want to help me? What do you want because I am happy with Sofia and my son, so if you want sex that is a no” I don’t want to know “you right, I do like you but being a detective is not paying the bills for my son, he has Leukaemia. I need to pay for his bills and as well pay for my dad’ medical bills. I want money. You a good looking guy and I see you are happy” I wasn’t expecting that “how old is your son?” I asked “nine, I had him when I was eighteen. His father got killed on his first birthday so yeah, it’s not been great but I need help with money to keep my family and I will keep yours safe” this seems too much, like I can’t risk that “you have hunted me down for years, arrested me for years and now this. When you can prove your worth, and I am sorry about your son, if it is true” walking off, I ain’t playing with that at all, I can’t risk it.

“Cassius!” Kalia shouted “this is my son, look at him! This is him now, I am not speaking lies. I am always by the law but when you need help, you need it and I need it right now” turning around, looking at the picture. Her son very much looks not well “I will give you what you want, I know they are coming for Rapheal. We have a whole board with your pictures on there, I can show you that. I just need the money, I want to keep my son alive” this ain’t my problem “you know what, Ethan will be in touch” I said before turning around “how will he know to get to me?” she asked “Kalia, I know everything. When you run Brooklyn you do!” dragging open the door, she wants to be my informant but I need more confidence on her and I will push her limits. I can see it on her face, she is sincere and is desperate, you know the type that will want to do anything for their child and you can’t just play that. Ethan will track down and see if her story plays out.

Sitting back down at the table “did you get lost? Your food was getting cold” watching Kalia walking off “a little, it’s fine. So yeah, you was saying. I think you should go, it will be good for you. Cartier and I will be fine. Do it” I winked at her “that means a lot Cassius, that you want me to go” nodding my head, looking down at my food. I have a lot going on in my mind, I mean step one is to get my shit back, to beat Rapheal ass, I ain’t forget. The fact I haven’t spoken to Ethan for so long, but I am going to do this right. I will do it my way, I will let people think I am gone and that I have lost touch. I am going to build from the bottom, if I start from the top it won’t build a good foundation and if Kalia’ shit comes true, I have a good side partner to play the law while I do my shit. The amount of shit I could do, how powerful I will be. Imagine that, the woman investigating me is with me “what are you smirking at me?” Sofia asked “just you, you’re beautiful” things will be good, I will do this right this time.

Knocking on Kyle’ front door, I was going to make Sofia do it but I thought I would it myself. I wish he would hurry up, it’s cold. Knocking on the door again but even harder this time “coming!” hearing Kyle say, the door opened finally “I want Ethan’ number” I ain’t coming here to strike up some good old conversation with him “Cassius” he said “yes that is me but the number, please” I am still sore with him “uh yeah, one miniute” he walked back into the house, I am being calm to be fair and this is me being as calm as I can. I could beat his ass but I won’t, this is not a small thing. This is actually on a grand fucking scale and I am pissed off “his number” he held out a peice of paper to me “thanks” that is all “Cassius, can we please just talk about this. I didn’t mean to do that” turning around “we all don’t mean to do something, but we do it still. What gets me, is that you lied to me and also on top of that. You ran to Miami, there was no need. Ethan was there, you purposely was being dumb, Amira was fine and you knew that” walking off, seeing a cute flower “I will take this” pulling it off the stem and rushed to my car, I wil continue to be sore with him about this. Slamming the car door shut “for you” holding it out to Sofia “you stealing Amira’ flowers, you’re funny. Was you nice to Kyle?” Sofia took the flower from me “I am always nice my love, I was nice as I could be Sofia. He’s really fucked me up” let me just park my car up, I could have dropped them off and walked across the road but that is effort.

I do need to get my own phone but for now, I will use Sofia’ phone. I haven’t spoken to Ethan in so long, hopefully he’s fine “yo” he answered, the phone number is witheld “it’s Cassius Ethan” I said “oh shit, Cassius? You’re alive, nice to hear you again. It’s been a while” he is soft “I am sure you don’t miss my orders but yeah, I am around. I have heard, everything” if I left Kyle in charge then Ethan would listen to what he says “I didn’t agree with the things Cassius, Atlanta was his problem and I said it to him. I was in Miami and I said to Kyle to go back, I told him the hit was being done. I told him this. But he said Amira was his issue, but I backed away. I ain’t the one to tell people what to do. It’s like a domino affect with this shit, Atlanta got hit and then Raphael’ dealers keep getting hit, Miami has no drugs, we keeping it in Brooklyn what we got, our shipment is being aimed at” Kyle has really pissed me off “new found me” I said to myself “ok so listen, Kalia. You know her? Detective that constantly wants me and arrests me all the time. Well she has decided to follow me, every day here. She is saying her son has Leukemia, her father is ill and she needs money. Money the law can’t give, she wants to be my informant, apprently the one you supplied is useless” Ethan laughed “she is the bitch that rattled him, she fucking did it. I see her game!” Ethan spat “I want you to go and find this story out, I want you to inavade everything. Every little detail of this bitch I want to know. Then if it does, we will go to step two and then we will make her prove herself. I want you to find out everything, I know you can. Also make sure she ain’t playing both sides, got it?” hopefully she is legit, I will kill her myself for playing “got it, you know boss. It’s good to have you back, you know that?” turning around as I heard the door close, I laughed “Kyle ain’t the one Ethan, he has never been for this. He wants the business gone but he will be dead without it, niggas don’t care” Sofia walked over to me “I know that, we stuck in it but don’t go again. Shit ain’t good” placing my hand at the side of Sofia’ face “how do I contact you again?” my thumb lightly outlined her lips “I will call you, you got two days” disconnecting the call, Sofia grabbed my hand and held my hand in hers “who is Kalia?” she is nosey “just a woman that has wanted to openly fuck me, but I ain’t do that. She erm wants to work along side me, but I need to see that is legit first. She is the one who arrests me constantly” I am being truthful with Sofia, it is th best way “that is very truthful” I don’t think she was expecting me to be so truthful “I want to be truthful with you, is Cartier asleep?” Sofia nodded her head.

I turned onto my side, looking at Sofia in bed “I should have let you put Cartier asleep so you can annoy him, you’re about to keep me up” Sofia’ lips curved up into a smile “erm, I am not sure” I reached out to her with one hand, brushing my fingers against her stomach. Sofia placed her hand over mine, looking up at Sofia’ eyes as they welled up with tears “why are you upset? Did I do something?” Sofia shook her head “it’s not that, just happy. You’re here with me” I laughed, a little nervous actually “well, that could have gone differently” shuffling closer to Sofia, I could do with some sex actually. Cupping Sofia face with my hand “but I am here with you” I whispered against her lips before I kissed them slowly, moving my hand away from the side of her face and onto her hip. Feeling Sofia grip my hand and then move her face to the side and I kissed her cheek “not right now” moving head back “mhmmm maybe next time” pressing a kiss to her forehead.

[justimagaine]

Chris Evans /Part1/

Being friends with someone who is famous and your not can sometimes be hard. Not because you could get followed by paparazzi but becasue you could lose touch sometimes. Lives can drift you two apart. That happened to you and Chris. Before his carrier took off you two were amazing friends .

You had movie nights, dinner dates. You would text and call each other everyday, but slowly those texts went to once a week and calls didn’t happen anymore. You didn’t push on communication because you knew he was a busy man and he was doing amazing things, so let the lives pull you two apart till the point you thought he had forgotten about you. Chris and you knew everything about each other. Every childhood story, every heart break, every laugh fulled moment. You and Chris once were so close it almost felt like you two were a couple. When Chris and you first met it was instant friendship. In just few hours you became closer then you’ve ever been with any of your friend. It had gotten to the point where Chris had spend Christmas with your family and you had spend Thanksgiving with his. You had shared so much and so fast it was all gone. Making you feel like it all was lost for ever and never to be back.

You had started a new life yourself. A new job a new place to live at, new friends too, but you still couldn’t forget about him, but how could you when he was all over the world. Everywhere you looked you saw his face. You didn’t tell your new friends that once you were best friends with Chris Evans, you just thought that they wouldn’t believe you even thought you had about a million photos to prove it. Also starting a new job didn’t give you a chance to talk about him or even think a lot if times. You boss was telling you about all the thing you were going to do and even the places you might visit because of work. It sounded amazing and you felt amazing. The agency you worked at was dealing with a lot of Hollywood stuff, but you were behind the scenes, where you didn’t even meet the people your agency was working with, but none the less you already loved it. It gave you a chance to let out all your creative ideas.

“I think you’re ready” your boss, Mia, said with a smile. She was becoming like a big role model to you. She was a CEO of a big company where she was doing everything you wanted, so you knew you would learn a lot from her.

“Yes” you said with a lot of energy and she loved it. Your first tack was complicated but yet fun. She asked you to do some paperwork for a now movie that no one knew about. It made you feel excited, becasue it was like you were let in on a big secret.

The first day was almost over when your boss came out to your desk

 “Y/N you’ve done some amazing work in just 6 hours so I have a surprise for you” she said slightly jumping up and down. “I want you to join me in visiting a very secret movie set” that took you over. You didn’t think you would get such a chance so fast. On your first day, but then again you worked your ass off, just to show how serious you were and that you could be trusted with anything.

“Oh my god” you said with a smile and a jump up “really?” she was just as excited as you

“Yes. I can’t tell you what the movie is or where we’re going, but you just have to trust me” there was no doubt in that.  In few minutes you had all your things ready and were in the car driving to the movie set. On your way you started to think of all of the movies that were in production, but everything you saw on your way and all the phone calls your boss got didn’t tell you where you were going. That made it all more exciting. Before you could think of any more random movies you had arrived at the set.

“I’m so excited” Mia said but managed to keep her cool. You walked along side of her, looking around, but not too much. You were afraid that if you looked at things and people too  much they might kick you out. After a small walked you and Mia and what you thought, the director got to a conference room. It was a big white room, with a round desk in the middle of the room. There also was a big scree set up, probably where Mia was going to show her presentation on. Everything around you made you feel excited and very professional.

After the meeting and the amazing presentation Mia made you all were just talking, and still you had no idea what movie it was. That did drive you  crazy, but you knew you couldn’t just yell out asking them what was the damn movie, so you kept your cool and waited till you found or heard something that would tell you what movie they were making. The director had offered to give you two a small tour, finally a chance to know what movie it was. You all stood up, but when you did, there was a sudden feeling that someone was watching you. Not in the sense of creepy, but weirdly pleasant. You did try not to think about it and not make big deal of it, but when you started to turn, time went slow. You lifted your things and turned to a glass wall. You couldn’t believe who you were seeing. your eyes met with Chris. The Chris Evans. The man who used to be your best friend, the man who you used to spend your Friday nights. the man who used to know your all childhood stories. While you tried to understand if you really were seeing him, Chris smiles. His eyes started t shine, he hands moved around the glass trying to find the handle. He tried to get in, he needed to see you closer, he needed to hug you.

[sadpoemsandsteverogers]

I'll Kill You Myself {Part Two} (Dominic Toretto x reader)

Title: I’ll Kill You Myself (Part Two) Pairing: Dominic Toretto x reader Warnings: Um, swearing, violence.. that’s all I can think of. A/N: Periods suck. Just saying. And also- All Time Low’s new album is a work of art.

You can find part one here. Thanks for reading!

“Alright, are you sure you have all our numbers and the emergency numbers?” You asked Ramsay for what must have been the fourth time. Ramsay chuckled.

“It’s okay, Y/N. I’ve got all your numbers and I’ve got all the emergency numbers. There’s no need to worry, okay? Go have fun tonight.” Ramsay placed a hand on your arm in a soothing gesture. You gave the girl a hug, before turning towards Mia. 

“You ready?” she asked, opening the door. 

“I haven’t gone out in so long. I’m a little nervous.” you admitted, and Mia chuckled. 

“Don’t be. You look gorgeous.” Mia assured you. It was one of the first nights you were actually going out with Dominic in a long time. You had always volunteered to stay home and watch the kids, even thought most times you were dying to go and race. You loved to race, it was in your blood and like oxygen to you. But you weren’t gonna put racing over the safety of children,so you decided to be the “responsible, boring adult” (as Roman calls you).

You exited the house, walking carefully towards your car. Mia had dressed you up to the nines, possibly the tens. Your feet were elevated in four inch heels, a tight skirt hugging your hips and a cute crop top hung over your frame. A bejeweled choker was wrapped around your neck, and you felt it’s choke every time you gulped.

“Mia,” you stopped in your tracks, turning towards her, “I don’t think this is such a good idea. Maybe I should go change into something more comfortable. I don’t really look good in this.” 

Mia sighed, grabbing your shoulders. “Y/N, look at me. I know you don’t wear these kinds of clothes often to races, and for good reason. But, there will be girls there wearing way less clothing than you.”

“That’s the point, Mia. These girls are revealing almost everything, because they have the body type to reveal everything. I don’t.” you countered, and Mia sighed again.

“Y/N, no matter how big or how small you are, you are beautiful. Those guys at the races, they don’t care how a girl looks. As long as she’s got something they can put their most likely tiny dicks in, they’ll think you’re drop dead gorgeous.” Mia started, bringing her eyes to yours. “But the only guy you need to worry about is Dom. And let me tell you, Dom thinks you’re freaking gorgeous. He doesn’t care about whether you wear your hair up or down, he thinks you look good either way.He doesn’t care if you’re wearing platforms or Converse. He doesn’t care what you feel like wearing, he does a double take every time. Because he’s simply mesmerized by you.” Mia’s words uplifted your spirits, you weren’t sure how high yet but her words had some level of affect. “Besides, I’m sure he’s already seen you naked.” a cheeky grin crossed her face, and you blushed.

“We’re gonna be late.” you mumbled, getting your keys from your purse and unlocking your car, sliding in the driver’s seat.

Mia chuckled, getting into the passenger seat.

                                                   __________

Dominic and Brian were leaning against their cars, conversation coursing between them. 

“Where are the girls? They should be here by now.” Brian questioned, his eyes scouting the crowd for you and Mia. A roar of an engine captured the attention of both him and Dom, their heads turning to find the source of that glorious purr.

The car parked, the doors opening. Two stunning women exited the vehicle, doors slamming shut in unison. It was like a scene from a movie, their hair blowing in the wind and their eyes intimidating. The driver locked her car, the passenger meeting her in front of the car. 

They exchanged some sort of banter, high-fiving, and then walking towards Dominic and Brian. It was only then that they realized the women from the car were Mia and Y/N.

It was a double take for both Dominic and Brian. 

Dominic felt a small smile cross his face as he watched you walk towards him. You looked confident, you looked sure of yourself. Dominic hadn’t seen you look like that in a long time. 

“Hello, boys.” you greeted, a smile on your face.

“Hello.” Dom said with a chuckle. “You look gorgeous.” 

You felt your cheeks grow red. “Thank you.” 

He planted a kiss on your cheek, close to your lips.”Good luck tonight.” he whispered, his breath fanning your face lightly.

“Same to you.” you whispered, flickering your eyes to his. 

“Hey, sexy!” a man called, and you chuckled.

“Hey, Brian. I think he’s looking for you!” you exclaimed, and the group laughed. 

“Actually, I was looking for you.” the man said, and your eyes widened. Not at the attention, but at the man’s guts. 

“For me?” you questioned, a light teasing tone in your voice.

“Yeah, you. You’re quite the piece of eye candy, aren’t ya?” he asked, his eyes raking over you in a creepy way.

“You think I’m eye candy? You should see my man.” you responded with a smirk. 

“I don’t have a mirror on me.” the stranger attempted to flirt, and continued doing so for five minutes. What really pushed you (and Dom) over the edge is when the stranger reached to grab your ass. You then grabbed his arm, twisted it, and sucker punched him right in the face.

“Listen here, creep. Nobody touches me like that except for my man here.” your head nodded towards Dom. “And if you try to touch me again, I’ll let him take care of you. And, trust me, his bite is a lot worse than his bark.” 

You let the man go, watching him try to straighten out. “Jeez, crazy! I was just messing around!” he exclaimed.

“How about we race?” you questioned, and the man cackled.

“You think you could beat me at a race? Me?” he cockily questioned.

“I don’t even know your name.” you countered, and he stopped cackling. 

“Fine. We race for pinks.” 

You arched an eyebrow. “Fine.” you hesitantly said. 

You both moved your cars to the starting line, waiting for the starter to get in front of the cars.

You rolled your window down as you saw Dom approaching. “Nervous?” he asked. 

“Not really, look at him. He’s still bleeding from when I punched him.” you pointed out, and Dominic chuckled. 

“You got this. I love you, now go show ‘em who’s boss.” Dom said, pecking your lips and backing away. You rolled your window up, watching as he gave you one last smile.

“Are you ready?” the girl asked, pointing at the creep. He nodded, checking her out in the process. You rolled your eyes at the gesture. 

“You’re ready, for sure.” she said, pointing at you and smiling. She gave you a wink, and you smiled back at her. 

“On your mark.” 

“Get set.”

“GO!”

You felt a thrill as you pressed on the gas pedal. You shifted gears smoothly, feeling an occasional kick from your car’s delay in acceleration. It had been a long time since you’d raced, but no one could tell. It was exhilarating, the feeling of the horsepower making you giddy. 

It was just a short thirty seconds, but the most exciting thirty seconds you’d had in a long time. 

You crossed the finish line half a car ahead of your opponent, a smile crossing your face as you saw the crowd erupt in cheers. You slowed down, eventually stopping and getting out of your car. Dominic neared you with a smile, lifting you up and spinning you. He gave you a kiss, then placed you down on your feet. 

“Congratulations on that win.” 

“It’s a crap car anyways, we can scrap it for parts. Or sell it.” you whispered, making Dominic chuckle. 

Your opponent got out of his car, coming over to you. He had a band wrapped around his hand, and you weren’t sure what it was but you shrugged it off. 

He handed you his pink slip with his left hand, extending his right. You took the pink slip, nodding. You stuck your left hand in his, and were met with the unexpected. 

A razor blade.

He jammed the razor into your hand, pulling his hand back towards him and making the cut longer. You cried out in pain, and the man tried to go for your face. 

Dominic was quick to react, grabbing the man’s arm and preventing him from hitting you. He then proceeded to punch the guy, knocking him out.

“What happened to respect in racing?” Dominic yelled to the crowd. “When did it turn into violence when you don’t win?” 

The crowd agreed with him. 

“Get this poor excuse of a racer out of my sight.” Dom called, turning his back to the crowd. 

Your hand was quite bloody at this point, and Dom put his hand on your cheek. “Are you okay?” he asked, and it took everything in you to bite back the sarcastic comment you had ready once you saw the love and concern in his eyes. 

“I’ll be fine.” you assured him with a smile.

“It looks pretty bad.” he stressed, and Mia stepped towards you.

“It’s nothing I can’t fix. We should get back to the house.” she said, and you agreed.

“Look who’s injured now.” Dom teased you, putting his hands on your waist.

“Oh, shush. If you get shanked one more time Dom....’ you trailed off.

“You’ll what?” he smirked.

“I’ll kill you myself.” you said with a laugh. Dom chuckled, leaning forwards to kiss you, but you stopped him. “As much as I’d love to have a cutesy moment right now, I’m bleeding profusely and frankly, I’m getting lightheaded.” 

_______

The end! Let me know what you thought!  

[heartslogos]

newfragile yellows [28]

“Gotta go,” Bull says, texting someone - his phone looks comically small in his large hands. And it’s already the largest size the brand makes. In any one else’s hand, it would look like a small tablet.

“What, hot date?” Rocky asks.

“Yeah,” Bull grins, “Meeting up with Lavellan?”

“Lavellan?” Stitches wrinkles his nose, the name sounds familiar.

“Yeah, we met her a few weeks ago,” Bull says.

Krem narrows his eyes, “Lavellan as in Dalish’s friend who we went to see at her first show? Pole dancer Lavellan?”

Grim makes a low sound of disapproval.

“You do know that they’re paid to look like they think you’re hot, right?” Rocky asks.

Bull gives the four of them a deeply unimpressed look as he puts his phone in his pocket.

“Yeah, I didn’t ask her out because she looked good dancing - she does, Dalish, cool it, I’m not insulting your three times removed cousin or whatever.”

Dalish looks like she’s about to rattle of two centuries worth of family ties but Skinner punches her shoulder as a distraction.

“I asked her out because around a week and a half ago I was getting ready to get kicked out and banned for life because there was a guy who got up on stage with her and was being fucking disrespectful as shit, and just as I was about to go and show him how it feels to be touched when you don’t want to be touched she punched him so hard he went flying across the dance floor.” Bull’s grin is dopey. “And she made it look like an accident. And she did it all after fleecing his wallet.”

Grim whistles.

“Yeah, sounds more like it,” Krem snorts.

“Bless her, I’ve always thought she was too good for the farm,” Dalish says, nodding in approval. “I’m going to tell her that right now. I mean, I tell it to her all the time, but I want to repeat it. I don’t think I’ve told her that, yet, today.”

“So where are you two going?” Stitches asks as Bull stands up, checking his pockets for his keys and wallet.

“Walk around the park,” Bull says, “Then bagels. And then a fish store. She wants to buy some aquatic plants.”

Krem and Rocky exchange looks.

Skinner and Dalish exchange looks.

Stitches and Grim exchange looks.

All six of them exchange looks. And then money.

“That doesn’t even sound like you, and for that reason and that reason alone I’m willing to wager two hundred dollars that there’s a date two and you wont kiss until date five,” Krem says.

“You don’t know Lavellan,” Dalish ays, “No kissing until date twenty and it’ll be on the nose.”

“What, the kiss?” Rocky asks.

“I don’t know enough on this subject to bet, I’ll hold the money and the rules,” Skinner says, opening a note on her phone, “You have twenty four hours to modify your wagers. As usual, the only changes allowed post the first twenty four can be made due to a significant event which can be determined by either myself or a majority vote.”

“I don’t know why I haven’t fired all of you,” Bull says as he walks out the door. “I’m your boss, respect me.”

“Having to say that automatically means you don’t deserve it,” Krem calls out, “Work your ass off and make sure you get a kiss at date five. I don’t even care if it’s on the mouth. Crack your head open and make her kiss it better. I’ve lost too much money on you.”

-

“He’s just so dreamy,” Lavellan sighs, chin propped up on her hands as she watches the Iron Bull and his Chargers make their escape on television.

“He’s a criminal,” Cullen gently reminds her from the next desk, “Lavellan, you are about to knock over Cassandra’s paperwork.”

Lavellan lifts her elbows and allows Cullen to rescue Cassandra’s files and put them on his own desk. Chances are they’ll get lost in his organized chaos - Cullen’s preference is to keep it neat, but in the face of reality all his attempts at organization rarely last more than a few hours.

It’s driving him slowly insane and everyone knows it. Most of them feel bad about it, but not bad enough to help.

Lavellan lets out another sigh.

“He got away again,” Cassandra’s voice echoes from down the hallway, sounding appropriately upset for someone tasked with catching the notorious band of thieves should be.

“We look like idiots,” Blackwall grunts.

“Speak for yourself,” Dorian calls out, “I look amazing.”

He and Lavellan exchange high fives, Lavellan still starting at the television mounted and hanging from the ceiling.

“He smiled at me,” Lavellan says.

“He’s smiling at the camera,” Cullen says, “It’s not a good thing, Lavellan.”

“He’s smiling at me,” Lavellan repeats just as Cassandra and Blackwall come into view. Cassandra makes a face at the television and Blackwall scowls.

“He is a criminal and we must catch him before we’re all fired for incompetence,” Cassandra says, “And then they’ll bring in Samson’s unit.”

Everyone makes noises of disgust.

At the same time Cullen’s phone starts ringing.

“It’s him,” Lavellan bounces out her seat. Cullen physically moves to block her from answering. She attempts to climb over him. Cullen sighs and is reminded of his nieces and nephews whenever Mia has him hold chocolate or candy out of their grasp.

“Answer it,” Cassandra says, already resigned.

“Hello?” Cullen picks up the phone and Lavellan partially succeeds in getting her legs around his waist and shoves her ear on the other side of the receiver, clinging to Cullen’s shoulders as she tries to listen in. Cullen sighs and switches it to speaker.

“Hey, sorry we left without saying hi or anything. We were on a schedule,” The Iron Bull’s deep voice says from the other side. “Are you even bothering to trace this call?”

They all look at Sera who flips them off and shakes her head, blowing an obnoxiously bright green bubble of gum at them and popping it loudly.

“No,” Cullen says.

“I’m a little insulted that you aren’t even trying,” Bull says.

“We’re trying,” Lavellan says.

“Hey,” Bull immediately perks up, “You see us on TV? Smiled for you.”

Lavellan smacks Cullen’s chest so hard he wheezes, “I told you. He always smiles for me.”

“That I do.”

“Stop flirting with the criminal,” Cassandra snaps, “Bull return what you stole immediately. We are going to find you.”

“Sure you are,” Bull laughs, “See you at the next one, then. Take care - and Lavellan?”

“Yeah?” Lavellan’s nails are digging into Cullen’s skin and Cullen is dying here.

“You look good in your uniform,” Bull says, “I should rob more places while you guys are at ceremonies more often. I like your dress blues.”

Lavellan giggles.

[finderskeepersff]

42.

Looking over at Amira, she is being such a boss and I love it. This new found thing of being a boss is getting to her head but in a good way, I always come with her to the club to watch over her. Since being open this place has been working out like Cassius said and I am proud of Cassius, his mind works in ways I couldn’t. I am only his hype man or tell him no, he is the brains but things have died down, the club is cleaning the money so quick that I have lost count on money but it’s doing so well. We have famous people coming here but we know why, they want the drugs but all is well. Police are at arms length, nobody is fucking with us. We don’t have nobody trying to shoot at the place because we dealt with that and that is all because of Cassius, I wish he was around to see but he isn’t “I am done now, we can go” Amira said “you stand there like bodyguard all of the time, it turns me on” she walked by me “I am your bodyguard that is why, you know that. But I have always said this, me or Myles will always be with you to come here. I can’t lose you” Amira looked behind her and at me “you’re so close” she said laughing “I ain’t close to anything” she has been hinting about marriage, I see it and hear it and I will do it, soon. I just need to sort some details out “guess what?” walking behind my girl “this is where you say what?” She said as I chuckled “what?” I assumed she would just say it “Mia messaged me on Facebook, she said that today is Sofia’ birthday and I feel bad because I haven’t even noticed or was aware of it” letting out on oh “it is, I remember that. It is her birthday, Cassius went Miami with her that time, oh shit. What was she saying anyways?” holding the door open to let Amira out first “she is going to surprise her and a little get together, she said Sofia is unaware because she hasn’t really stayed in contact as much” turning around to look the door “ok cool, what time?” I should be here, actually I won’t “forget that, I need to go somewhere” I forgot actually.

Packing the bag with some clothes for Cassius “where are you going? You have been very coy with me and you go somewhere so where do you go? It’s been a couple of months now and you go there every week” zipping the bag up “I thought we don’t keep secrets, I have been quiet about it because I know it is something to do with Cassius, and I know if it is something top secret you won’t say anything but I want to know, please” turning to Amira “I am going to Texas, Cassius is there” Amira frowned at me in confusion “why?” it’s not something I want to speak on but I am “so when I went to Brooklyn, I was so angry at Cassius. I love him, not in a gay way but I love him as a brother. He is my brother and I see this addict, I have known him for years Amira and he wasn’t that, he was never that but he was pushed to be that. I didn’t turn to drugs, I don’t get the shit like he does and he was so bad Amira. He was destroying his mom’ home, he near killed Celine I knocked his ass out. Sofia has left him and it added to it, it was a mess. He was starting trouble where it was not needed, it was just a mess. Things are quiet, you see how it is. I had to sit there with my brother and see him snort a line, I sat there with him Amira, and I watched him do it. But his downfall, when he doesn’t have it he is worse. Myles and I got him at the home and I don’t know what flipped in his mind but he called me and he said get me out of here. So we did, he is in Texas and he’s getting help. It’s in the middle of nowhere where he can rest” Amira looked at me in sadness “you never said, I didn’t even know she left him” nodding my head “that is awful Kyle, that is so sad I didn’t know and is she ok?” placing my hands on my hips “she is ok, I check up on her now and then, I was worried that Cassius would do something stupid, he was determined to get to Sofia and I was like no. This has happened before but he was at Celine’ place, probably kicking off there too but yeah, I am going to see him and I will be back tonight” Amira smiled at me faintly “such a clever, kind hearted guy and he’s there” putting my head down.

“I wonder when my nigga will come out of this” Myles said staring at the place “he’s being hard headed Myles, when they called me saying Cassius found a way of getting drugs in the facility, I didn’t know if to laugh or cry. I mean funny because that is my nigga, he knows people but cry part makes me feel he doesn’t want to leave. I am not sure but we shall see what he is doing” getting out of the car “I keep telling you to bring Sofia here, she will get him to wake up. Come on Kyle, he said she had another man looking after her brother. So she was cheating or what? He has told us a few times now” locking the car door with the bag in hand “but that is untrue, I think it is. I haven’t said it to Sofia, she has asked and I haven’t said where he is. I have had people ask but nobody knows, I just think he needs to do it on his own because he wants to do it. You get what I mean?” Myles needs to understand this with me that he has to want it, pressing the buzzer “what good will it be? She is pregnant and I am not bringing Sofia here” I refuse to do that “Woodlands rehab centre?” the guy said in the intercom “we come to see Cassius Warren” rolling my eyes at this place, it’s nice though but still “come in” the buzzer went off.

The guy took the bag from me “there is just clothes in there, that is it” I had to make sure they knew that “we still need to check and Cassius, oh here he is” Cassius came from around the corner “you have gone bald?” I said staring at this bald man, he has just clean shaven everything “damn, your head is huge!” Myles spat, Cassius chuckled “nice to see you still smiling bro” walking over to him hugging him “I missed you guys” my nigga has gone skinny too “they don’t feed you here?” looking at Cassius up and down “you’re the main person we contact correct? I was Henry, the guy that called you just a few days again” letting out an oh shaking his hand “this white guy is a liar” Cassius said “you say that Cassius but we found the drugs, you cannot deny it. Why do you think you are still here and not progressing. We spoke on this, how many shots do you want?” Cassius walked off “we will speak to him” I said to the guy before walking off.

“It’s nice out here, so much peace and quiet” it seems boring as fuck “no trouble, nobody here to kill me. I am not even in danger, I have no responsibility” walking around Cassius “Cassius, why? And I don’t mean why you are bald but why? I thought you was good?” Cassius laughed, he laughed because he doesn’t care “I want to feel that rewarding feeling, I just want to be high” he is looking at me like he don’t care “I don’t want to leave this place” looking at Myles and he just looked at me “you can get a a house here but Cassius I am going to need you to not take again” Cassius looked away from me and at the sky “you know how it feels to be free? I have not had a single phone call, a single worry of people. If my empire goes down I wouldn’t care. Nobody will care so I am ok to be here” I want to punch him “ok fine, what about Sofia. I am going to say it Kyle, I don’t care. She is about to pop out that baby without a father then? You have no worries but you fucking do you dickhead. You are being a dickhead! It’s ok, it’s fine. You be here and continue to be you, I wouldn’t want a father like you either” Cassius gripped Myles neck out of nowhere “hey! Cassius. Come on now!” Cassius pushed him back, I told Myles to shut his mouth.

“You wait here, I told you to be quiet” Myles rubbed his neck, jogging over to Cassius “least we know Cassius is still in there, so can we discuss in real terms. When are you coming back out of here? If you purposely keeping yourself here then that is selfish” Cassius doesn’t care and I can tell he doesn’t “It’s Sofia’ birthday today, which means my son will be here soon and I will be thirty. Did she get the flowers?” Cassius looked at me “I don’t know, I have not seen her. I am glad you know” Cassius laughed “you think I am stupid, I am not stupid. I know everything still, the shit they feed me here, I don’t eat it. The tablets, the only thing they caught me on was when I got here and they sedated me but I was not ready for that. I am all knowing Kyle, I have not lost my mind. I choose to do it, I don’t want to be in this place but it also gives me peace” sighing out “Cassius you have been gone for so long, people think your dead. Your mom is in a state and I have to not tell her, Sofia asks about you and I won’t keep that way away from you but she does. I need to know that when you come back you won’t take again, you don’t need it and you know that” Cassius shrugged “I didn’t want this, why don’t anyone see it. I didn’t want it, they trying to mark me off as crazy here but I am not. I didn’t want to kill, I didn’t want it. I wanted to prove his smug face wrong though so I did and now I am so high that the only way is death or being locked away, how you think that makes me feel” Cassius said through gritted teeth “and you did Cassius, you have proved him wrong but if you go down then we do too. We ride together Cassius I need you to gather yourself, please” he still got that issue with him.

I be thinking I am doing too much for my baby, I mean this bedroom is fit for a prince but why not. I am so excited for my baby to come, I have got everything, I am ready. I am literally just waiting for him to arrive but the bedroom is how I wanted, from every detail. I wanted it so it didn’t need to be always changed, it will be ok for him until he is about eight, then maybe change it but it’s perfect. I have to thank Gio, he still wants to hire me but I said he can wait on that till after Cartier is here and he is settled. I paid for this room with the left over money I had, it paid for it all and it wasn’t cheap either. I have diapers for days, I am so excited. The buzzer went off downstairs, folding up my tee and placing it at the side of me. I have nothing better to do with myself then just clean, even on my birthday I don’t have much to celebrate about, I am ok. Checking the camera and seeing it’s a delivery person, buzzing them in. At times this whole buzzing people in drives me crazy, I get why but still. Dragging my feet towards the door, unlocking the door and pulling open the door “Good morning, for you” the lady said smiling, looking at the bouquet of red flowers. She held it out to me and I just stared at them “uh yeah, thank you” taking the flowers from her, closing the door behind her.

Opening the card and it is just a small card, it just stated Happy Birthday but there is no name on it. There is a small box within the flowers, it does look like a box with a ring inside it. Opening the box, I inhaled sharply seeing my engagement ring which confirms it’s Cassius. Placing the box on the kitchen counter top biting on my top lip looking ahead of me, he remembered my birthday. Placing my hand over my mouth as a sob left my lips, closing the box and then hearing a knock at the door. Wiping my tears, a knock at the door and not the gate. Frowning as I made my way to the cameras, my frown soon disappeared seeing my friends “oh god” I said to myself, walking over to the door quickly. Dragging open the door “Happy Birthday bitch!!” Olivia spat, hugging Olivia as soon as she finished screaming “happy birthday girl, we came here to see you” I am so happy to see them.

My friends didn’t need to come out here, like I am so happy to get some company “you ready to pop ain’t you?” I smiled at Mia “I am, my face has come out. I see it but oh well. I can’t believe you came, why?” I didn’t think they would “well you have been very quiet on that end, you know. We just wanted to see you” I smiled at them both “where is Cassius? And your ring?” Olivia pointed out “oh he is in Brooklyn, and I kind of broke it” I laughed “so erm, I just got it back now. It’s on the kitchen counter top” I hope they buy it and thank god the ring is back so it seems like a legit reason “you’re such a mess, how you going to break it bitch” ok they have it bought it “you know me” I got out of that one “but I mean you both supposed to get married, you text me cancelling things. Baby shower too so what is happening?” Mia just knows me “I just didn’t want it, you know the things with my family” Mia is not buying it “I wish I could believe you Sofia, you’re being a recluse. We know you too well but it’s your birthday so who cares” that means in Mia’ terms, we got you tomorrow.

Maybe Mia is right and I am becoming a recluse, I don’t think I am to be fair. I am just trying to keep my private life just private and I don’t want them to know, if they do really push me then I will say we are taking a break from each other and that is it “I want you to be turning up and the buzzer went off” Olivia pointed out for me, turn up. I be in bed by ten, this baby is tiring for me. I get very tired, I just get no help with anything and it’s me doing everything. Seeing it is Amira, Isabella, Myles and Kyle “who told them?” I can see the balloons, buzzing them in “me, I just wanted you to have a little party. Come on” my friends are something else “you two” walking over to the door, I am very exhausted. I was setting out Cartier’ clothing and I was up and down with things, I had to fix the baby bed in the bedroom myself because I forgot to tell Gio about it. Opening the door “Happy Birthday Sofia!” Amira spat “awww thank you” hugging her “what is this?” looking at the balloons “well, you didn’t want a baby shower so we thought we would do birthday and baby shower together” Isabella said, hugging her as I cooed out “y’all about to make me cry” honestly, I am getting choked up now “sorry for being so late, these boys went out and came back just now. They was out from early morning too” Amira explained “come on in, it’s fine” stepping back “nice seeing you, Happy Birthday” Myles hugged me and then so did Kyle.

I am about ready to cry “these balloons spelling Cartier is so adorable” that is cute, I can’t stop looking “well we know you didn’t want anything but we wanted to do both, so we just did this small thing for you” Amira placed a bag at the side of me “you didn’t have too, honestly. All of you didn’t need to do this. Just coming to see me was nice” Amira sat back down “oh stop it, Kyle and I both picked these. As Kyle will be an uncle and we chose this” now I want to see, reaching into the bag “also your birthday gift is in there as well” grabbing the long box “is this mine?” I grinned “you will have to see” turning the box to me so I can open it, opening the box “oh, awwww no” moving the box down placing my hand over my mouth, I was ready to cry anyways “what is it?” Mia asked “Kyle wanted to get that for him” Amira said and I turned the box around “awww a name bracelet, that is so sweet! Aww guys” wiping the tears that left my eyes, this is not right. I know that this is not right because I know how much he wanted this, I know this and I know him. Even if we don’t get on I know he would want to see this but he isn’t, why.

The reason I didn’t want a baby shower is because I wanted that with him, I don’t want to be a single mother like my own mother was. This is what hurts me, I am going to be a single mother but I will make sure I am not my mother, my baby will be so loved “you look tired” Kyle said behind me, moving my cup back from the ice dispenser “I am very tired, I had to put the baby bed together in the bedroom. I did it though” Kyle let out an oh “why didn’t you tell us?” shaking my head “I am ok” I mumbled “you all can stay but I need to go and rest, I don’t feel good at all” Kyle stared at me like he wanted to say something “why is he not caring? Why hasn’t he seen me Kyle? You know something and nobody is telling me, I am left in the dark with no information. I deserve to know what he is doing, he is the the father of my child and I am doing this on my own, I got his flowers but where is he?” Kyle looked at me in sadness not saying a word “you shouldn’t be straining yourself” he changed the subject “but I am and nobody will tell me anything” I am so fed up with everyone telling me nothing, Kyle is holding back on me.