#meyer:ben

[ofviolentdeath]

@bleedtheneonfromthebitemarks sent: mitt munch from Ben for whoever

"Did...did you just bite me? Dude, really?"

[ofviolentdeath]

"I've noticed."

The words were warm, his expression full of fondness. He liked that Ben was different, even if he wished the other hadn't gone through so many awful things in such a short span of time.

"That sounds...terrifying. I'm sorry you have to go through that. Is there anything I can do to help when you're having one of those episodes? Like any way to pull you out of it or make it less awful?"

Meyer doubted there was a simple answer, but he was willing to try anything to help if he could. He wanted to be someone Ben could depend on, even if he was a ball of anxiety on his good days.

"I'm not most people."

Ben hoped that his own issues wouldn't turn out to be a deal breaker either, but he knew from experience how hard it was to watch someone go through that shit after having witnessed it with his mom throughout his entire childhood, and he'd never been given a choice about it.

"When it's happenin', I know it's not real, but it still feels like it," he answered, clearly distressed by it. "I fuckin' hate it so much. The whisperin' sucks mostly because I can't make out what they're sayin' half the time and it's just noisy and overwhelmin', but the worst part is feelin' like somethin' is touching me. Like, I know it's not there. I can see it's not there, but it freaks me the fuck out because it feels real."

It was hard to describe without almost triggering himself in the process, a visible shudder running through Ben as he thought about it, just the memory enough to make his skin crawl.

"Only way I can describe it is that it feels like bein' touched by a ghost or somethin'."

[ofviolentdeath]

"I don't have much company and you're good company," he answered honestly, refusing to let Ben talk down on himself even in jest. Not when he was making a sincere enough offer.

Meyer nodded at that, understanding that, for the most part, Phobos and Deimos seemed to be acting as his guardians (even though Ben was certainly an adult).

"I wish I could guess how that conversation'll go but those two aren't always easy to get a good read on."

Ben had to consciously resist the urge to completely nuzzle into Meyer's hand, still painfully careful about not pushing things and potentially misunderstanding the intent behind the gestures, as sweet as they seemed.

"Not got sick of me yet?" he joked quietly with a lopsided smirk, though the question was rooted in genuine anxiety that he'd outstay his welcome any moment.

"I do wanna stay," Ben affirmed, nodding. "But I gotta run it past them first. I mean, I'd still be sleepin' rough if it wasn't for Bo, so I'd at least have to square it with him so he doesn't think I'm just cuttin' and runnin', yeah?"

[ofviolentdeath]

"Like, kind of warm and floaty when you, uh, look at someone?"

⬜+ 309

"Do you ever feel… like… you know… things? Like… those warm… feelings?"

[ofviolentdeath]

His touch faltered but he didn't drop his hand. "That's fucked. You didn't deserve that," he murmured as he gazed up at Ben, holding eye contact for longer than he probably should have.

& for Ben from Meyer?

"There's kinda a fucked up story behind that, but the short version is I got in a fight with one of the other kids in the group home while doin' chores and he stuck me with a butcher knife."

[ofviolentdeath]

"Everyone needs a friend, you know? Kind of figured that was why Phobos decided to bring you here instead of taking you pretty much anywhere else."

It was still a little weird to him that he had been singled out, but Meyer figured it was probably because they were closer in age and equally jumpy.

Whatever the case may be, Meyer didn't mind. He often went long stretches with his only company being five-minute check-ins from his siblings and it was kind of nice having another person there.

"You should, uh, mention this shit to Bo and Dei. I mean, they'll take care of it. I'd offer one of my siblings but putting a hit on a cop would bring unnecessary attention on all of us, including you."

"Not really used to anyone givin' that much of a shit about me, to be honest. At least, not since my mom, and even that was only when she was havin' a good day," Ben admitted, giving away just a little bit more about his past as he continued to get more comfortable around Meyer.

If anything, Ben had almost forgotten what it felt like to have someone in his corner for once without an ulterior motive or legal obligation to be there.

He still wasn't at a place yet where he could comfortably tell anyone what the cop in question had done to him, but at least Ben was relatively safe now and it was unlikely that he'd ever have to deal with that asshole ever again.

Or at least he hoped so.

"Ruinin' his careers a start, but still can't help feelin' like that's not gonna stop him doin' the shit he does. Not really. I mean, it'll make it harder, maybe, 'cause it gives him less access to kids like me, but it might just make him look for another way instead," Ben replied, fidgeting slightly.

"Is it a bad thing to kinda wish the fucker dead? Because I think I'd feel a whole lot better about it if I knew he couldn't hurt anyone else like that again."

[ofviolentdeath]

"We kind of operate on a need-to-know basis when it comes to people that aren't, you know, a threat." And Ben most certainly was not a threat to his mom's business otherwise Phobos would not have brought him here.

Even if Ben had been a threat, Meyer wasn't equipped to deal with something like that. No, that would have fallen to any number of his older siblings or people who worked for his mom. Hell, if he was a big enough threat, Val would handle it herself.

"That asshole deserves worse." He had been arrested before and it hadn't been fun, but even then it hadn't been awful. What Ben had said that cop did to people had left him feeling sick to his stomach and he wanted nothing more than to see at least his career ruined.

"Don't mention it. I would have done more if I could have but there's not much you can do aside from full exposure in a situation like that. At least not from a computer stance. I did put his address out there too though so even if nothing comes from the news reports..."

"Sorry, privacy's not really a concept I've known much about previously, especially not in group homes 'n' shit. Always someone up in my business twenty-four-seven in places like that."

He appreciated that Meyer had a strong sense of respecting boundaries, though, even if Ben hadn't had much practice enforcing his own, and he was just as interested in getting to know him better if he was allowed to, but Ben wasn't sure yet how long he was going to be around.

"Well, I mean, I kinda figured that much when you did me that favor the other day with fuckin' up that cop's career," he replied, giggling a little and blushing even pinker, still grateful that Meyer had done that for him, no questions asked beyond who the cop in question was and why Ben hated him.

"Thanks for that, by the way. Nobody's ever really done somethin' for me like that before."

[ofviolentdeath]

"I wouldn't mind knowing more about you, but I'd rather learn about you on your own terms, you know? Otherwise, it just feels creepy and like I'm spying on you or some shit." It was one thing for work, it was another entirely for someone currently crashing in his apartment.

"Kid of a mob boss. Trouble doesn't bother me," he shot back quickly, a faint smirk tugging on his own lips.

A part of him wanted to reach out, to brush the curls back from Ben's face, but he wasn't sure where the lines were or where they should be. He didn't want to make the other uncomfortable.

"Actually, kinda glad you didn't 'cause there's some shit in there you probably don't wanna know about," Ben explained quietly, alluding to the fact that not only had he been bounced around a number of foster placements, but the reason for it was that he had some behavioural and mental health issues that weren't the easiest thing for him to open up about.

"Spent more time in the principals office than in class, to be honest," he confessed cautiously, though there was a smirk etched on his lips as he felt like Meyer wouldn't be an asshole about that.

"Not sayin' I was a bad kid or nothin', but I got in trouble a lot."

[ofviolentdeath]

"Yeah, I could have looked at that but it kind of felt like an invasion of privacy, you know?" He still could, he had all of the information he needed, but it just didn't feel right.

"Yeah, I uh, don't have a lot of experience with it either. Was kind of always on the quiet side and then add in the home-schooled via private tutor thing..."

His parents had made sure he had social events to attend but he had never been great with connecting, not really. But even he had to admit that Ben was cute and he wasn't opposed to the idea of flirting, even if he wasn't sure how to go about it either.

“Guess I’m just used to showin’ up at a place with people already knowin’ my shit cuz they’ve seen my case file?” Ben shrugged, unsure if Bo had even gotten that far or if he was flying just as blind with him.

“I dunno?” he answered, looking a bit like a deer in headlights befoe dropping his head, his curls falling into his eyes.

“I mean, not opposed to the idea, but I might not be very good at it ‘cause I ain’t never done it before. At least, not on purpose.”

[ofviolentdeath]

"Bo's big on letting people tell their own business, helpful or not."

On some level, he could understand it but, on the other hand, it made things so much more awkward when the full situation wasn't explained. Especially when he wasn't entirely sure how long Phobos planned on having Ben staying with him.

Meyer had no idea how to respond to that question and he chewed on his lower lip for a moment, trying to think of how he should answer.

"I, well, um...Do, do you want to flirt with me?"

"Well, that's helpful..."

Ben fidgeted, not sure how comfortable he felt with being basically dropped off with very little information given, though he figured that there wasn't all that much to tell anyway since beyond Ben's previous living situation, it wasn't like even he had much else to say on the matter.

As the realization dawned with Meyer's explanation, Ben's eyes widened momentarily before he broke out in a fierce blush of his own.

"Oh... uh... Do you... want me to flirt with you?"

[ofviolentdeath]

"Yeah, he didn't mention any of that. Just said he had stumbled on a wayward relative and asked if you could crash here for a few days because he had plans with Harper and I didn't want to know anything beyond that."

What Phobos did with his brother was filed under Things Meyer Did Not Want To Know and he did his best to stay out of that.

He cleared his throat, face burning as he moved to flip the eggs. "Well, uh, the last...the last time someone said I could find a way to distract them they were, uh, flirting with me?"

"Oh. Sorry. Yeah, after I aged out, didn't really have anywhere to go for a while. Until recently, anyway, and now I'm here, I guess? Bo didn't say anythin' about it?"

Ben looked just as confused for a moment, not realizing that what he'd said could be construed that way.

"Uh... I dunno. Like, what did I say that you're askin' about?"

[ofviolentdeath]

"I feel like only part of that was mentioned." But it was all a lot of information for both of them to take in so it made sense that some things would slip through the cracks.

It didn't help that Phobos had not exactly offered much information before dropping Meyer off, so they were both flying a little blind.

"I-I, you, what?" He wasn't sure if the other was flirting or what and it had caught him entirely off guard. "I mean, like, how are you meaning here? Because I don't want to get the wrong idea or anything."

"I told you, foster care food fuckin' sucked. Plus I've been homeless for the last year, so not a lot of options for eatin' pizza in that time."

Ben couldn't remember if he'd mentioned that already, or, if he hadn't, whether Phobos had told anyone where he'd picked Ben up from or the circumstances he'd found him in.

"Bet there's other ways you could get my attention?" he countered without really thinking about it.

[ofviolentdeath]

"You've never had pizza dipped in ranch? Dude, you're missing out. I'll make sure to get a couple extra ranch cups and we can do that for lunch."

It was kind of nice to have another person there, even if it was just for a short time. Phobos had already said he was working on setting up something more permanent, but still.

"I dunno, you'll have to tell me," he shot back, a faint smile tugging on his lips as he moved the eggs to distribute it more evenly.

"Never had ranch before but everything else you just mentioned sounds lit, honestly."

The comment was carried on a laugh, but it was no less sincere as Ben really did like barbecue chicken and bacon on pizza, so he'd happily eat it if it was on offer.

"Yeah? Think you can get me to pay attention long enough to keep an eye on them or nah?" he joked.

[ofviolentdeath]

"Thoughts on barbecue chicken pizza with bacon and ranch on the side?" Honestly, that sounded like a great idea for lunch and Meyer half-lived on takeout anyway, so it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Meyer fell quiet as he tossed in some salt and pepper before scrambling up the eggs while the pan heated up. The butter sizzled when it hit and he turned the heat down a little before adding the eggs and grabbing a well-worn, red rubber spatula.

"The biggest trick with this is paying attention to the edges so they don't burn."

"No weirder than puttin' BBQ sauce on everythin'," Ben shrugged, referring to his own taste in condiments as he really did tend to put that on most things, even spaghetti when he was a kid.

If anything, he just viewed BBQ sauce as an upgraded version of ketchup, and if there was anything he did eat that others might find weird, it was that he also put mayo on his fries.

"Okay, cool," he answered, leaning against the edge of the countertop.

[ofviolentdeath]

"I put ketchup on them once they're cooked." It wasn't for everyone, but he had seen weirder so he didn't care. It tasted good.

"Then you need a rubber spatula to lift the edges and get the rest of the egg on direct heat before flipping it." It was easy enough and he had no problem doing it that way for Ben either. "You can watch, if you want?"

"How do you eat them?" Ben asked, reserving his judgement on that front until he knew the answer as he couldn't imagine anything weirder than crispy and burnt eggs.

"What if I don't want them stirred?"

Not that Ben didn't like scrambled eggs, but often, he just preferred them fried normally and in once piece.

[ofviolentdeath]

"I guess. But people think the way I eat eggs is weird too so." He gave another shrug as he started cracking eggs into a bowl, tossing the shells in the garbage can next to the sink.

"Yeah, I know a few people like that. Eggs are a pretty quick thing to cook though, not much attention span needed mostly because once they're in the pan, you kind of stir them constantly and they cook fast."

"Some people are fuckin' weird," Ben retorted in response, still confused how anyone would have a preference like that when eggs weren't, by nature, meant to be crunchy as far as he was concerned.

"They weren't exactly good about lettin' me anywhere near shit that could start a fire when I was in foster care," he shrugged nonchalantly before realizing how that might sound.

"Not that I make a habit of doin' that or anythin'. Just the whole short attention span thing. I get distracted easily."