#meta here to stab you up then steal your wallet

[wistfulcynic]

an alternative reading of the dock scene and its aftermath...

thinking about the question “why did Ed not hear the gunshot when he was on the dock/getting the dinghy” or, alternatively, what if he did??

when we consider what we are actually shown about what Ed knows or thinks or thinks he knows about why Stede never showed, it’s not actually very much. We see him arrive on the dock, look around for Stede. We see him waiting. We see him rowing away and returning to the Revenge, we see him in the blanket fort eating marmalade from the jar and talking about curling into a ball to die. Because this is all very cleverly framed as typical breakup behaviour and based on what we know about Ed’s general sense of self-worth, we viewers all very naturally assumed he was sad because Stede abandoned him. 

but why would Ed assume that? This is the question that keeps tripping me up. Why would Ed’s mind, his very sharp, clever, analytical mind, immediately jump to abandonment before all other conclusions? Yes, there is the factor of his low self-worth, but Ed has no real solid reason to believe that Stede’s non-appearance was down to deliberate choice. There are a whole ton of explanations for why he might not show, and i struggle to believe that Ed wouldn’t at least have entertained a few of them. 

wasn’t he curious? Wasn’t he worried? He knows Stede’s propensity for getting himself in trouble, stabbed up, etc. Wouldn’t he at least have wanted to find out for sure before going full sadboi-breakup-robe? 

unless... he has a really good reason for believing Stede is never coming back. 

hearing the gunshot + Stede not showing + the violent life Ed has led, in which death is both common and commonplace, all of this i could easily see leading to him drawing the conclusion that Stede is dead. And then not analysing that conclusion too closely because in at least a corner of Ed’s mind he must be thinking of course Stede is dead. Of course he, Ed, would have his chance at happiness snatched from his grasp just at the moment he thinks he might actually get to keep it. It must feel like karma to him. He’s not a good person, after all. He’s the kraken. 

plus of course Ed has been emotionally and psychologically expecting to lose Stede to death one way or the other pretty much from the very beginning when he was half-dead from a stab wound, all the way through Ed’s own attempted murder to Stede nearly dying by firing squad the day before. In a way it must feel like Stede’s death is inevitable, and that Ed’s only been postponing it by rescuing him/not murdering him/the Act of Grace. But now the time’s run out. He always knew it would.

which would mean that Ed’s spiral into blanket forts and marmalade isn’t breakup sadness it’s mourning. It’s him faced with the irretrievable loss of everything good in his life. No wonder he wants to curl into a ball and die. No wonder he’s grasping at anything he can get to mitigate the wreck of his dreams, from dressing gowns to sparkly nails to talent shows. Yes, of course that could be read equally logically as just him dealing with a breakup but it does seem like a Lot, especially if it’s based on the simple, unconfirmed conjecture that Stede didn’t show because he changed his mind. 

If Ed is in mourning, then he’s not just sleeping in his ex’s old t-shirt, he’s desperately trying to pick up any pieces that he can of what he’s lost--Stede’s clothes, Stede’s blankets, Stede’s marmalade, Stede’s crew. Stede’s people-positive management style. It’s only when Izzy threatens him and he realises that he can't have even those small pieces that he throws Stede's things away to show Izzy (and everyone) that he’s not pining. He’s not vulnerable. He’s heartless. He’s the kraken.  

then he sobs alone in his bed because he’s not actually heartless at all and the love of his life is lost forever. 

so yeah. It’s not a flawless theory. But chew on it with me if you would, please, fandom, and you’re welcome for the tears.