calorieshater - Tumblr blog

[calorieshater]

20kg is not that much tbh i have lost 5kg in a week simply by eating 1 meal a day so in a month i could be 20kg thinner if I just do it i can do it I have to do it for me and for the years of suffering from this ed

[calorieshater]

Im gonna tell you the story of this guy and how he's my motivation to lose weight (please I need friends someone talk to me)

Okay so it all started in 2022, he replied to one of my tweets and i saw that he was a mutual to the guy i was talking with at that time (thats another story but long story short that went horribly wrong) and i ignored this guy, lets call him "A", i ignored him but he answered other tweet again and then followed me on ig, long story short we ended up talking, turns out he was from the same school as the guy i was talking, i dont know why but since the first moment I talked to him i knew he was the one, i cant tell you a reason but i knew it, we talked everyday but he didnt know that i was talking to a guy from his school so one day (as the dumb bitch i am) i decided to tell him the story of the guy (at that moment the guy and i were blocked and i hated him) well that was the worse decision i could have made because 2 years later (now) he told me that he actually liked me but when I told him about that guy he made himself lose interest, that's not even the worst part, our friendship over the last 2 years basically is a fucking relationship, he calls me "my love" and tells me he misses me and all that stuff but (this part is really hard to explain) it basically is all like a "joke" I really cannot explain it with words is just the dynamic we have, the problem here is that this hurts me because I actually like him, and over the past 2 years he has liked 2 girls so I know how he is when he likes someone, he is literally obsessed with them in the most romantic way, he's everything I want but oh! i haven't told you the best part yet!! WE DONT KNOW EACH OTHER IRL (and no, its not because whatever you're thinking) when we started talking, like a month after that he moved to another country, he's was supposed to be there only a year but for some reasons he had to stay until finishing high school, so basically we couldn't meet, we are best friends and in August he's coming back to study college and obviously we are gonna meet and I'm really scared of that because he tells me how pretty I am and whatever but he has never really seen my body, im 1.70 and my cw: is 79kg and for my weight distribution and my height I don't really LOOK fat, I mean I just look a bit chubby but he is the skinniest man I know so when I stand next to him I'm gonna look ginormous, plus the girls he's liked are all skinny so basically i have 3 months to lose 20kg before i meet him and basically my motivation is that if i dont lose them I'm gonna lose the loml

[calorieshater]

Guys im back!!

I have a lot to talk about and im sure probably no one is gonna read all this stuff but i like to write it here so i can come back and read it for myself

A year ago i started college and i met some great friends that really made me forget about my weight and about my problems and i also dropped out of my sport for the semester to try to focus on school, so obviously i gained a lot of weight, i didnt notice it until the end of the semester when we made a christmas party and they took some photos of me and i couldnt believe it, so then holiday break started and i weighted myself, 89kg. The last time before that that i weighted myself i was 74, so you can imagine how horribly stupid, ugly and obese i felt, i have an anxiety disorder and struggle a lot with it, my medications help but not a lot and i tend to binge a lot due to the anxiety so as you can imagine i couldnt lose nothing over holidays but when this semester started i got into my sport again and i had to weight myself for it, 88kg. I almost lost it there. Then i started to go to the practices but still couldnt help but binge everytime so i dont really think I lost more than 2kg (im not sure i was so scared to weight myself so i didnt) anyways!! 3 weeks ago i went yo a new psychiatrist and he gave me some new medicine for my anxiety and guys, that medicine makes me forget about food almost always + the fact that im at school almost from 8am to 8pm and that makes it easier to not eat because i cant binge, in this 3 weeks i weighted myself and now im 79kg again, and im sure i could have lost more but this week was exam week and my anxiety levels were too high and i was at home most of the week so i binged a few times, but imagine how much im gonna loose now that I get back to being 8am to 8pm at school + practices, i think this medicine has helped me a lot to relapse i really feel like in my honeymoon fase again and im so happy

[calorieshater]

losing weight so he cant have an excuse to leave me<3

[calorieshater]

sweetspo^^

It takes 3 months to make a change to your appearance! think about it, end of January you can be your goal weight, you’ll look so cute in those outfits you’ve been wanting to wear. February a drastic change in your appearance. Tank tops, dresses, skirts, jeans, shirts, shorts, everything will look soooo good! March you’ll be so proud of how far you’ve come. You’ve stuck to your new year’s resolution. You can wear cute sweaters look and feel so so dainty frail and delicate. Though you’ll have to commit and skip those meals, eat less. It’ll be worth it because look at what you get in return. If you’re disciplined enough you can reach that goal weight!! Just think about where you could be in those next three months. You can do it, I’m sure. I’ve never had a doubt in my mind you can’t, stay strong beauties

[calorieshater]

I sure put the eating in eating disorder

[calorieshater]

So my schedule for tomorrow will be:

wake up at 8

Go for a run from 9 to 11 (do at least 15 hundred steps)

come back home and sleep for a while (sleep through my meal so my mom dont suspect)

when i wake up pretend i ate something late so i dont have to eat dinner either and go to sleep early

[calorieshater]

guys I promise to all of you and to myself that i will fast for a complete day AT LEAST 24 hours minimum, ive never been able to do this but now i NEED TO

[calorieshater]

guys I really am gonna die I havent stopped crying, the last few months I've been getting better and forgetting about all this shit but obviously not completely, I've still had that little voice in my head telling me how fat I was and I decided to not weight myself, but some days ago I had a breakdown because my jeans didn't fit me and today I decided to weight myself and I simply can't believe how stupid I am, i threw all my work to the fucking trash, my lowest weight was 74 and now I weight 89 AND 90 is my starting weight I cant belive it I am really shocked i dont know when i lost control of my life like this and did this to myself, im so mad at myself and i mean it was the mix of everything, I started college and dropped out of volleyball for this semester so I could concentrate, plus now im friends with great people who made me forget about my disorder a little bit but i cant, if getting rid of this disorder means going back to my starting weight i refuse to do it, i know how it sounds but i hope i get bad again

[calorieshater]

I hope I relapse

[calorieshater]

I want to be the person who everyone worries about and not the person who worries about everyone

[calorieshater]

10kg in 33 days should be easy enough right?

[calorieshater]

Imagine him liking you back, hugging you and being with you I want that. I need that. we can be a power couple and yes idc that maybe he is not putting any effort to be with me and that im literally starving myself to be with him, idc as long as we are together.

[calorieshater]

Some reasons for me to be skinny

-To be skinnier than F and A

-For R to notice me and like me back

-To have a lot of people to like me

-To worry my friends

-To be as pretty as the other girls at my school

-To not be the fattest on my class

-To be able To wear cute outfits

[calorieshater]

In one month I lost 10kg when I was deep on my ed, its been like 8 months since that and im still the same weight. I need to do better

[calorieshater]

i will look like this. no matter what. i’ll make sure of it.

[calorieshater]

I need to lose at least 10kg before going back to school I have exactly a month to do it

I need to do it because I want my friends to be shocked by it I want them to ask how I did it and I want them to tell me I look good, I want to go and see my crush and make them like me back, but for that I need to be at least 10 kg skinnier.