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theinheriteddutchess · 6 months ago

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Pulling Against The Stream

Summary: you've always been drawn to the sea, even if you feared it. When a handsome stranger shows up he completely turns your life and awakens a side of you you didn't even know existed.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x female reader

Word count: about 11.475

Warnings: 18+, I'm not sure if there really are warnings, nothing gets too explicit. There's talk about nearly drowning, merfolk will eat people (but not in this part). Is Bucky a warning? I think he's a warning🤷‍♀️

(Notes: this was fun to work on, I fell in love with these two, I'm sad it's finished. Also, sorry Owen, you never did get that apology.)

Part 2

🧜🏻‍♂️

The wind was a welcome coolness as it rushed through your hair. You looked out to sea, watching the calm waves rush to shore, wetting the sand before retreating again. It was one of your favourite things to do. Whenever you were on the beach you felt calmer. Like all your problems seemed to disappear. Even if for a little while.

You never went in the water, however.

You hadn’t since you were a little girl and you had nearly drowned. You loved water. You just couldn’t sink into it. Every time you thought about it, you saw your mother's face as she panicked and yelled at you. As a young girl you had realized something had been very wrong, and now many years later, you had avoided breaking through that fear, and simply given up.

You ached sometimes however, seeing families walking into the ocean and swimming, playing together, their laughter traveling through the air. If only that could be you. It was you, at some point, but the accident changed so much.

You sighed. You took one look at the water, saying goodbye in your mind, before turning and grabbing your shoes. You walked to the parking lot, trying to brush as much sand off your feet as you could, before slipping on your ankle socks and your shoes. You didn't want to be late. Your friends would give you a hard time about it. You had agreed to go to this party and they weren't going to let you forget it. They had taken you shopping last week for this event, even. A cute summer dress meant to flatter your body, without looking like you were trying too hard.

You knew they'd been trying to set you up with someone, a friend of Genevieve’s boyfriend, some guy named Owen or Odin.. You didn't really know, because you were protesting before they both convinced you to give him a try.

They meant well, but you were fine on your own.

You had a tiny apartment nearby the sea and you had a simple job that provided enough for you to be comfortable. You loved being able to be near the ocean and simply opening your windows and hearing the crashing of the waves, the smell of salt in the air. It didn’t matter that no one understood. You were happy here.

But today was different. Today your friends wanted you to have fun. And you had promised to. And you were going to. One night going out with friends and a hot man. It couldn’t be that bad, right? Sam was a nice guy, his friend was sure to be nice as well. You hoped. And if not, you had no problem bailing.

You showered once you got home, taking extra time to let the pleasant scent of your shower gel soak into your skin, and made yourself ready. You thought you looked nice, when you saw yourself in the mirror. Owen or Olaf should appreciate the effort.

Your friend Beth picked you up, her recently wedded husband in the back swiping away on his tablet.

“Hon’, put it away, it’s after working hours, okay?” she softly told him and he groaned but listened.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” you greeted them, smiling. They had been together since highschool and had just simply never parted. A rare thing in your opinion, but it gave you higher hopes for the future.

“Okay, so Gen told me they were already at the bar, you know the place, right? Shade?”

You did know. It was near the beach, a restaurant, bar and club all at once. It really gave beach resort vibes, but it was a little less rowdy than an actual dance club, and the food was rumored to be excellent.

You had a strong suspicion it was picked out deliberately to make you more comfortable since it was beach themed. You chuckled a little at the idea.

“It has excellent seafood, I heard.”

“We know how much you love that!” Beth told you, smiling.

It was true, ever since you were little you loved anything fishy. Your mother would go mental getting you to eat anything, unless fish was on the menu. You didn’t know why but other meat felt heavier, and you enjoyed the taste better.

It was a nice place. You arrived and it seemed all tables were full, but it didn’t feel too crowded inside. The restaurant had a perfect look out to sea, and the dance floor was separated in a way that the noise didn’t bother the dinner guest. It had a nice atmosphere. Seeing it now you were sure you wanted to visit again. That is, if the food was as good as promised.

You saw your other friend waving from a table in a corner of the room. You saw the friend that was supposed to be your date. Nerves were beginning to show, but you faked being confident as you walked over.

“Hello, making yourselves comfortable I see?” you greeted, watching the guy, Oscar or Otis, getting up and holding out his hand. You shook it. Firm but not too hard. A good handshake.

He was holding your chair for you and okay, gentleman. But that didn’t mean anything. Mannerisms might be nice, but you never knew what lurked underneath.

You mostly listened for the first few minutes to your friends joking and sharing some details about their day.

The waiter showed up soon to take your drink order, and handed you the menu for dinner.

“I heard you liked seafood?” Your date leaned closer.

You nodded. “Yes. A lot. I’ve been told it’s a little unnatural, but I can't help it, I prefer a nice Plaice over a steak.”

“Nothing wrong with knowing what you want.” He smiled kindly.

“Exactly. How about you? Do you have any preferences?”

“Only about my car, and that’s pretty much about bringing me where I want. I know, not very manly of me, but I don’t see the point in getting excited over a piece of metal. It needs to function and if it does I'm good.”

“So what do you get excited about?”

“Honestly?” he leaned over like he was about to tell you a great secret. “I collect old movie posters.”

“Okay, so you love old movies?”

“A lot. My nan used to set me down at the tv to watch with her, I guess it’s where I got my love for black and white movies from. It’s probably to keep the thought of her alive, but that makes me sound mushy.”

“Not at all, it’s sweet actually.”

And it was. He was. He was sweet. You might even like to see him again if this was over. You were becoming more comfortable as the minutes ticked by.

The food was as excellent as expected. The conversation was flowing. And it was great being around your friends again, all together.

Ollie was a good looking man, with kind brown eyes and an equally kind smile. You weren’t sure if there was chemistry between you, or what he even thought about you, but you were sure that if you ran into him tomorrow things wouldn’t be awkward.

The evening progressed smoothly. Eventually your group migrated to the other part of the building, where catchy music and dimmed lights created a bit of a different atmosphere.You got another drink and kind of swayed your hips to the beat of the bass. Your friends were already dragging their partners to the dance area, and you stood next to Otto and kind of felt a little unsure. You wanted to dance, but he didn’t show any signs of asking you. And leaving to go dance alone seemed rude.

“I’m sorry, I am really bad at dancing.” He seemed to notice.

“It’s okay.” You raised your voice to be heard over the music. You were a little disappointed. “Not that I mind bad dancing.”

“No, I know it’s really awful, and I've stopped exposing myself to ridicule as a teenager,” He tried to smile, but maybe he saw in your eyes you were let down.

“I love dancing,” You admitted. “I don't get to do it often.”

“Well, then go. We can talk later.”

You hesitated. “I don’t feel comfortable just ditching you.”

“It’s not ditching when I say you should. Go and enjoy yourself.”

You thought about it for less than a second. “Okay, thanks.” You left your half finished drink and turned to a somewhat empty spot and let the music take over.

It had been a while. You normally didn’t have much time for these sorts of things. And, honestly, you often didn't make the time. You didn’t really like clubs, where it was so warm and sweaty and everyone pressed up against you. But you did like dancing. Moving your body, letting yourself feel like the most powerful sexy being on this earth once you moved to the beat.

You lost time. You twirled and swayed and closed your eyes. You forgot about anything else. But you were thirsty eventually, and glancing around saw your group of friends together talking somewhere ahead. So you walked to the bar to order a drink. While waiting, a body appeared next to you. you glanced up and were temporarily knocked aside by the beauty of him.

Long soft looking brown hair. Blue eyes seemingly glowing down at you as he stared back at you smiling. Oh his smile. Beautiful white pearls. His mouth was full and pleasant.

He was taller than you and seemingly muscular..

He was stunning.

He kept smiling and you were frozen. Looking at him like you had never seen a man. His arm reached out and grabbed the drink the bartender made you and handed it to you, because you were not aware of anything but him. You took it and sipped from it. Thanking him softly , even if you paid for it yourself.

He didn’t seem to move. Seemed comfortable being right at your side. You glanced at your friends once, still animated by themselves and turned to the stranger.

“What's your name?” You asked.

He moved his hands in such a way that made it clear he couldn’t hear you.

You told him yours. And though his eyes twinkled he didn’t say anything. He pointed at himself and made a weird noise. You didn’t get it, until he looked saddened at you.

Was he deaf? Well, no, because he could clearly hear you. What was the word? Mute? You weren’t sure, but you were sure he was telling you he couldn’t speak. “Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but you can’t speak?”

He shook his head. He didn’t seem to have anything with him to communicate either.

He lifted a finger underneath the glass and pushed it upwards. You had to drink or it would spill.

You giggled, “Alright, alright, I’ll drink, stop.”

It should be eerie how much he didn’t take his eyes off of you, but for some reason it didn't feel that way. He curled a finger around a bowl of peanuts and pushed it towards you.

“Oh no, I don't eat those, and you shouldn’t either, who knows how filthy the hands were that touched them.”

He pushed them back again, immediately, looking at them like they failed him. You knew you should go back to your friends. You should. Yet your feet didn’t move. Your eyes were captivated by him. You couldn’t stop looking. And neither did he. It felt like everything around you went quiet, and people ceased to exist. All you saw was him. His shiny hair, his beautiful smile, his eyes who were bluer than the ocean. You noticed you two were standing awfully close once you thought how clean he smelled. He didn’t seem to wear a scent, he just smelled fresh.

You felt a weird pressure in your chest. Close wasn’t close enough. The two of you just stood there, nearly pressed against each other. Wordless. Staring.

You felt him taking your hand.

And you let him. He guided you away. You did not know where, you did not see anyone or anything. Just him. As he led you outside. It was dark, and you felt sand sneaking through your shoes, the silty air of the sea in your lungs.

You were at the beach, the moon shining down on the two of you, illuminating his features.

His hand reached out to stroke your face softly, his eyes following his fingers over your skin, like he wanted to absorb everything he saw and felt about you.

You stood still and let him, it felt like a dream. Everything was blurry but his features were clear. His fingers were so soft as they explored you, his hand traveling over your neck, shoulders, down your arms, you shivered and then he pulled you near.

You hadn’t expected the kiss. His lips were so soft as they stroked yours. You closed your eyes and let him take the lead.

He laid you down. his body covering yours quickly. He was a little cold but you didn't mind as your body was heating up. It felt like a relief to feel his skin against yours.

His lips gliding down your skin, it felt so lovely. Your hands started exploring him the same way.

His strong muscles - and where had his clothes gone suddenly?- but the question left as you explored his form. He was damn near perfect in your opinion, you hadn’t found one flaw so far.

You would have worried about your own flaws if the look in his eyes didn’t stop any negative thought from coming up. You had never seen anyone looking at you the way he did. Like nothing mattered. Like you were the most beautiful woman on this earth. It was neary too much, that look. But you soaked in it, you had never felt more powerful.

Your dress seemed to disappear just as fast as his clothes had gone, you wondered if you were losing track of reality, but it didn’t matter. As soon as you nude bodies connected it had never felt more right. You were both so quiet, like even the sounds you made were private, just for the two of you, no one else was part of it.

You couldn't get enough of stroking his stomach, feeling how he quivered everytime you did. He made a noise sometimes like he wanted to say something, but couldn’t.You looked down, and even his manhood was gorgeous. And you never found it particularly exciting before. He was grinning, like he knew what you were thinking. Maybe your expression spoke a thousand words.

“You’re perfect,” You told him. it was completely truthful. You couldn't feel the shame you were supposed to feel.

His hand was laid against the side of your face, as he looked into your eyes again, like he wanted to say the same to you.

You felt your cheeks warm, weird that this felt so much more intimate than your actual naked bodies currently pressed against each other.

He moved a little closer still, his hand reaching down, and next moment he entered you. You hadn’t expected that. It should’ve been too soon, but he slid right in. Oh. He felt… he felt really good.

He moved, gentle long strokes. Not too rough, but precise.

You moaned now. It felt like your body wasn’t your own anymore. As he played it fluently and all the while your eyes not leaving the other.

You barely remembered when you finished, or him. All you knew was how he felt. And how he kept going, and again. Like he couldn't get enough. He managed to take a break at some point, to gather you up and carry you to your house, naked as the day you were born. It was a fortune you two weren't caught.

At your apartment, he set you down, you didn’t even remember unlocking the door, but as soon as you stood inside he was on you again.

His mouth was pure aphrodisiac to you. You couldn’t get enough. And neither could he, as his mouth and tongue explored all of you. You felt high with how he made you feel. You didn’t think you ever experienced such pleasure, and so much of it.

And all you seemed to notice was his blue eyes that were a beacon calling out to you and keeping you home.

🐚

The next morning you woke to a naked body next to you. Long brown hair spread out over the sheet as he was still asleep.

You took a moment to appreciate the sight.

Then you remembered you had ditched your friends. and your date.

You groaned and fell down on the pillow. you better had a good excuse ready when you faced them. And you didn’t have one. Well besides, “met a hottie and I couldn’t resist, apparently.” God, what had gotten into you? Besides him…

You glanced at him. Well, if you could take a picture Beth would at least understand. She was crazy about those romantic movies with chance meetings. But Genevieve…Well it was her boyfriend’s friend after all, and that made it more awkward.

Your lover woke up. Rolling over, exposing himself without shame. He reached out for you and you held your hand up. “No, I can't.” He actually looked disappointed. What had he expected, you had lost count how many times he was inside you last night. “And I'm afraid I have to face my friend’s wrath for leaving them behind. I can’t believe I did that, without even saying goodbye.”

His hand stroked your hair, while he hummed. Was he comforting you? You peaked through your hair at him. He looked so content though. Well, he hadn’t deserted his friends after all. He had seemed to have shown up alone.

You searched for your phone. It was on the dresser where you left it yesterday. And with about 84 messages staring back at you menacingly.

You decided to check Beth. She was worried. Genevieve’s wasn’t different, but apparently Beth had seen you leave, and they were confused. It wasn’t like you, and especially not without at least telling them something.

You decided a group call was best. Dive into the deep and face your actions.

“I know I fucked up,” is how you started the conversation, “I don’t know what came over me. He just showed up and it was like I stopped thinking, and I'm sorry I worried you. And I'm sorry for Ovid, he seemed nice. I just…. I have no idea.”

“He was very good looking,” Beth agreed.

“Owen is good looking!” Genevieve defended immediately. Owen! You wheeped inside, finally knowing his name…and relieved Gen didn't call you or on it.

“Yes, but this guy was like a model, come on Gen. “

Silence. She didn't want to admit it out loud.

“He’s still here,” you whispered.

“What!” Genevieve yelled. “Oh my god you skank, you let him stay the night?”

“I think we were too busy the whole night to even notice it was morning,” your cheeks reddened while admitting it. “You have no idea, it’s like he couldn’t get enough of me, and I…well I have never experienced this.”

“That good huh?”

“Oh my god you have no idea. He was…he was a lot, but not enough you know? I felt like I was high or something, he is so gorgeous, guys, and his body…if only you could see.”

“I can pretend to drop something off right now,” Genevieve said, deadly serious.

“What, no. No, we want privacy. I think. I’m not sure, he doesn’t seem to mind if anyone sees him naked, and I think…we left our clothes at the beach.”

Shrieking was heard from both sides. You continued to take their teasing for a while. You got it, it was probably hilarious to hear.

“You’re not mad at me?” you asked quietly once they calmed down.

“Maybe, but also, kind of impressed. Sam is probably more angry, because it’s his friend, but Owen took it in stride.”

“Oh god, I don't even know what to say to them.” you sighed. You were feeling shame, you did, but you also really didn’t regret it. Which was weird because you were never this irresponsible.

“Don’t worry, I'll smooth things over.”

“In the bedroom you mean?” Beth chuckled.

“Well it has worked so far. Besides, once I tell him this was the first time you ever got carried away and you're normally not like this at all, it must be a really special person to make you act this way, he'll understand.”

“I don’t even know his name.”

“Oh god this is priceless. You’re finally getting in touch with your inner whore.”

“Am not, but he’s just so..”

“Yeah yeah dreamy, we get it.”

An arm wrapped around you from behind and soft lips explored your neck. A familiar firmness pressing against your back.

“Hey, I’m talking to my friends,” you protested half heartedly, because you were already enjoying the ministrations.

He ignored your words, even though you were sure he understood you just fine. His tongue licked you softly, and your knees buckled.

“Okay, okay, I'm going to hang up, I will talk to you later.”

“Oh my god girl, what's gotten into you, is he-”

You hung up and dropped the phone. He turned you around and picked you up . Fuck, the way he made it seem effortless really did things to you. Forget about being sore, it was worth it.

✨

You were exhausted. Even after taking another nap. Your body pleasantly buzzing with all the attention it received. You had to get up eventually to get food.

Making some eggs and grilled cheese, you offered your lover something to drink. He sniffed everything carefully and then turned his nose up.

“Water then? Can’t go wrong with water.” You offered him a glass.

He did accept it, finishing it in one gulp and handing it out to you.

“Another?” you asked after seeing him drink like this, and he nodded.

He drank about 3 glasses before he seemed to be satisfied.

But he didn’t eat anything,

“Surely you must be hungry?”

He nodded.

“You don’t like eggs? Or cheese?”

He grabbed an egg and broke it to slurp the gooey stuff before you could stop him. A raw egg, you shuddered. But some people did that, right? Like those bodybuilders, for the protein. And he did seem to work out. Your eyes got temporarily lost glancing over all his muscles, before snapping out of it, when you met his eyes and they seemed to darken again. You quickly turned. As much as it was the best night of your life, you were really really tired. Not used to this kind of exercise at all. Your body started tingling however, so it was hard to not think of all the details he had given you to fantasize about for the rest of your life.

“So, I was thinking, we should find something for you to wear. We left our clothes at the beach, and I doubt I have much that fits you.”

He shrugged. It didn’t seem to matter to him at all.

“You can’t walk around naked, you’ll get arrested!”

His eyes glanced at yours, noticing the shock and then he pointed outside. “We should collect it?” You guessed and he nodded. “Well, I’ll go, you can’t go out this way.” So you showered and got dressed, but before you left he kept preventing it by kissing you, and again…And once more at the door. Before you pushed him back inside.

“Someone might see you,” you hissed , looking around if none of your neighbors were in the hall. “I’ll be back soon. Find something you can eat, yeah? I don’t need you fainting from starvation.”

He leaned into you again to kiss you, and you evaded him. “Later!” you giggled, watching the pleased smirk on his face. You fixed your hair, and your shirt, the cheeky bastard had sneaked in a handful, and went on your way.

You couldn’t believe you slept with someone on the beach, in full sight of potential witnesses. Finding your clothes didn’t take long, but your dress was covered in sand and seaweed, and his clothes were wet and needed a good wash. You didn't find his shoes, and then wondered if he had even worn any. You couldn’t remember, you didn’t exactly pay attention to his feet.

You took your hoard home and after a long make out session, where your lover acted like he hadn’t seen you for years, you made your way to the washer.

“Once they’re dry you are free to go.” Then realized that it sounded like you were kicking him out, and hurried to add. “If you want to, I mean, whatever you want.”

Whatever he wanted seemed to be you. His hands wouldn’t leave you alone. And you didn’t know where to go from here. Did one night stands normally stay until the afternoon the next day? Or seemed to keep wanting to have sex? You didn't even know his name.

“I don’t know what to call you,” you told him sadly. “Maybe you can write it down?”

You searched for pen and paper but he just stared at it curiously.

You wrote down your name.”You know, my name…now yours?”

He grabbed the pen and it broke, he must have held it too tight. “Oh shit, okay, no problem. Do you have anywhere to go? Like a job or home?”

At the word home he lit up. He nodded enthusiastically and wanted to go outside

“Wait, your clothes!” You held his hand, “We have to wait until they're dry. Maybe we should watch some tv until they are.” You led him to the couch and turned on the tv. He flinched but soon relaxed and watched the screen fascinated. He grabbed the remote and started zapping quickly, often looking at you with a bright smile like he had found some new toy to admire. You giggled.

“You act like you've never seen a tv before.”

He cocked his head and just stared at you.

“Okay, pick anything you want, I don’t mind.”

He did eventually settle on something. A documentary about ocean life and his bright eyes didn’t leave the screen for a while. Occasionally he seemed to scoff at something the narrator said but he stayed quiet. You wondered what it was like, not being able to talk verbally. It must be frustrating. Maybe even lonely.

He didn’t seem to have anything on him either. No phone or any information to figure out who he was. But he was a grown man and you couldn’t just pry. Besides, it's hard to pry when communication was off.

Once the laundry was done you handed him his clean clothes, and he looked kind of repulsed wearing them again.

“You really like being naked huh?”

He shrugged, then reached out to you with a teasing smile as he lifted your shirt a bit. “Oh no, I quite like being covered, thank you very much.” You giggled as he threw you a pout. “Come on, let's go, you wanted to show me home?”

He lit up again, and quickly grabbed your hand to drag you outside.

“Is it very far? Do we need the car?”

He shook his head and pointed again.

“Okay, lead the way, I'll follow.”

He walked fast, like he couldn’t wait, he made some weird noises in the back of his throat that you interpreted as excitement, and his enthusiasm felt addictive.

He dragged you towards the beach again, then to the water. He seemed to want to keep walking, but you froze.

“No! No I don’t go in-”

He turned to look at you, questioningly. Pointing to the water.

“No, I- I had an accident, many years ago. I don’t swim. I can’t.” You took a few steps back, your heart beating fast. Your mom’s voice and face clearly visible still after all this time, as she found you and yelled, crying, and in complete panic. You had nearly died that day your parents told you. And ever since, you never went in the water again.

He held his hands out for you to take but you shook your head, feeling faint and stepping back to sit down. “No. please, don’t”

He sat down next to you, wrapping his arms around you and just holding you. Sheltering you from the fear that raised inside of you as you remembered.

🌊

It had been a beautiful day. The sun shined brightly and the water seemed calm underneath the boat you were on. You loved the water, and your parents enjoyed being away from work for a while.

As a single child you were used to entertaining yourself and that's what you did most of the day. Walking back and forth on the boat, making up games in your head, watching the sea as the boat cut through the water smoothly.

Your parents were laying on deck somewhere, but you were much too busy to pay attention to them. You had just spotted something that kept your eyes firmly on the water. It never appeared at the same spot though, constantly moving. You didn’t know what it was. At that age your knowledge of any sea creatures was minimal, but it didn’t matter, anything was fascinating at that time.

Your sandwich dropped out of your hands and floated in the water for a second, before it disappeared. A fish? You walked back to your parents, pretending to be hungry still and getting another sandwich. Happily you walked back to the railing again, ripping a piece off and threw it. And it happened again. You were used to feeding ducks, but you never fed anything else, so this was fun!

Another piece and another until it was gone.

In your enthusiasm, and to continue the game, you hand reached out to your doll and you threw that as well.Then watched it float in the water.

Then you realized that your doll was lost in the ocean forever. Would it be eaten as well? Or sink down, like toys often did when you took a bath. You started crying, and wanted to run back to your parents, or the nice man that moved the boat, to make them stop it, to make them return it, but then you saw a hand grab it and throw it towards you. The doll landed with a wet squish on deck. Happily you ran towards it and hugged it, soaking your own clothes, but you didn’t mind. You had little Boop back. The world was perfect once again. You looked up and thought you saw a blur of color coming up and going down again fast. A friend. You were sure of it. Friends did things like this. Sharing lunch and sharing toys.

You ran inside to find stuff you could play with, but not mind missing. Like a plate, and your mom’s purse and one of your dad’s shoes…you grabbed it into your tiny arms and walked back outside. One by one you threw it in the water. And watch it sink, until suddenly it was thrown back up again. You clapped your hands, and threw it back in again.

This little game continued for quite a while, and sometimes you saw more of your friend. Dark hair, eyes looking at you from the water. Why was this boy in the water for so long? Mother had told you to be careful because the water was dangerous here and you couldn’t swim yet.

Why did he stay in the water, he seemed to enjoy it there. You wanted to climb over the railing and go to him, but your mother’s warning sounded in your ears, and you didn't want to get punished. You waved the next time he came up again and he waved back.

You didn’t remember very well what happened in between this fun time, and what happened next, but the sky changed and the boy seemed to fall behind the boat more and more, as the water seemed to be less smooth now than it was before.

There was some yelling from the men on the boat and your mother’s worried voice calling out to you. Eager to listen, you let go of the railing and turned to go towards her, maybe even tell her there was a boy in the water, when a big wave suddenly made you lose your balance.

You slipped easily and went down into the water. The coldness being the most you remembered of that scary moment.

The water seemed to suck you in and closed all around you as it became dark instantly. Your tiny body thrashing against the current and lack of air. You didn’t know what to do, this was something that your mind had not prepared you for.

Cold arms grabbed you, however and dragged you down, or up. It was hard to tell. But you did feel water sliding past your body and he pushed you up , and then air.

The sea kept pushing against your body and kept taking you down, but you were held up and you could breath, you coughed and held onto the arms for dear life.

When he started swimming away, the boat was not even visible anymore, you realized it was the boy. The dark hair and eyes were the only recognizable thing you had seen.

He swam against the current, somehow strong enough to do so, and it took a really long time before anything changed but the vast ocean in front of you.

It was scary but it was also the most exciting thing you had experienced. Because he was a friend! He had helped you! You saw a glimmer under the water, or felt something smooth and slippery against your legs, but it did not occur to you what it was until later. As land came in sight and he pushed you forward until you could stand. But you didn’t stand, your legs were too shaky to. You sat in the middle of the shore as water leapt against you, but you couldn’t be dragged away anymore. He floated in front of you, making sure you stayed where you were.

“Where am I?'' You sobbed a little, the adrenaline coursing through you and feeling scared without your parents.

His face dipped in and out of the water. “Land” he told you.

“I wanna go home,” You whined.

“They'll find you here…I think. It’s land.” He looked around. “They know you fell, they will look.”

You hoped so, this was worse than that time your dad was late picking you up from school, and you had to wait with the teacher as she sighed at the inconvenience. You never felt like she liked you after that. And mother would be angry because you fell in the water, like she told you.

You cried some more, but felt a cold hand around your ankle.

“They’ll come.” the boy said firmly. You didn’t know why you heard him so clearly, while you couldn't talk under water at all.

Then you saw his body. Your eyes glanced from his torse to his legs. But there were none.

You gasped. “Fish?”

He frowned until he saw where your eyes were focusing on, and then he laughed. “No, it’s a tail. So I can swim.”

“Can I get one?” If you had a tail your mother wouldn’t be angry anymore because you could swim just as well as the boy.

“I’m not sure. You’re not like us.”

‘Oh,” you said, disappointed.

“I know some of you can, I saw it myself!” He then said proudly. “And it would make sense. I did save you.” He glanced at you fiercely suddenly. “That means you're mine.”

“Like a friend?” you said excitedly.

He frowned. “What’s that?”

“Someone you play with. Someone you like.” you explained, glad to know something he didn’t.

“Oh. Yes, like that. I like you,” he cocked his head. “I can keep you.”

“Okay,” you smiled. You weren’t scared anymore. The weather, as suddenly as it had changed, had turned calmer again, and you weren't alone. You had your friend.

“I’m going to have to bite you though. If I'm going to keep you.”

Bite you? That didn’t seem fun. You weren’t sure, but you didn’t want to be called a scaredy cat again, like Lisa sometimes told you when you jumped out of the way if she threw a ball at you, and he had saved you, so it might only be fair.

You shrugged, pretended to not be worried and said. “Okay.”

He came up and grinned. It suddenly seemed less friendly like this, but you already said you’d do it, and a promise is a promise, wasn’t it? He slithered up closer, and you were mesmerized by his tail. It was really beautiful colors, blue and white and shiny…you wanted to touch it, but your mother raised you right, you didn’t just touch people. Unless they said it was okay, like you did, to this boy.

He moved really close and you noticed how cold his skin was. You felt his face moving closer to you and wondered where this bite was going to be. He made a weird noise, but he seemed to not say anything if his face was out of the water. Maybe he was shy up close?

You felt his mouth on your neck, and then, quickly, he bit down sharply. You screamed because it did hurt, and moved back, but he moved with you until he let go. Blood was covering his mouth and your hand flew up to your neck to feel.

"That hurts!"

“Of course it does, how else are we supposed to feed?”

You frowned. “You're not supposed to eat me.”

“No, not you,” he seemed to agree, “I Wouldn't bite you there if I was going to eat you.”

Where was he going to bite if he was? you wondered but in your young mind it seemed like an explanation enough.

“Now I can find you. And you'll come look for me , right?

You nodded. Maybe you could go on another boat trip, or sometimes your parents took you out to the beach. You loved the beach! It would be even better with a friend to play with.

You continued talking, and playing. He loved splashing you with his tail, until you shrieked in protest but couldn’t stop laughing. Until you became so exhausted that you started yawning and your eyes were drooping.

“They’ll be here soon,” he frowned, like the thought bothered him. “You should go on land, and I need to…leave.”

“Can’t you stay?” You pouted.

“They can’t see me, they’re not friends.”

You nodded. “Okay, I’ll see you later.”

He hummed and seemed to drift back.

You hoped he would still be nearby so you could wave at him once your parents were here. But you crawled further onto the sand and laid down there, and sleep took over you. It was the worried yells that woke you again.

Your parents rushing over to you and grabbing you and shaking you and so much yelling. Your mother's panicked voice as she said she thought you were dead. That you had drowned. Your father tried to calm your mother down. The two of them taking turns holding you, too rough, too long. You, cryinging and panicking again, remembering the cold dark water. How it kept dragging you back. How there had been no air and your body felt like it was going to explode from pressure.

How afterwards there had been no boat trips or beach days. And how when the time came to learn how to swim your mother's face triggered your fears so much that you hadn't dared to go into the water, and had full out panic attacks until they gave up.

How many trips to the therapists hadn’t been enough to keep from telling that a boy saved you, that not only fishes had tails, until you learned to keep your mouth shut and realized it was a dream. Maybe something your mind conjured up to feel safe again. A savior. A protector.

You still sometimes told someone, like your friends, but no one believed it and you were forever stuck in believing that they believed it wasn’t real, and therefore so should you, and still feeling it had been so real to you.

But what about the bite? Well, there had been one, and your parents took you to the doctors, afraid a shark or something had nibbled on you, but there had been no infection. In fact it had stopped bleeding very quickly, and healed very well. It was a faint shimmer on your skin now. You knew where it was and knew the slight ridges you had to look out for, but it was barely noticeable. Still whenever you rubbed it, it gave you a sense of safety. Something that seemed to look over you.

💭

You sat on the sand, looking out to sea. Next to you sat your lover, maybe you should give him a nickname because it sounded scandalous calling him that. Like a Victorian lady wrapped up in a torrid affair, waiting to be exposed so your older husband could challenge him to a duel to the death. Although, looking at him , you were sure he would win any fight. His body really was something. Healthy, with muscles in all the right places, no tan lines anywhere. Well, he did seem to have a fondness for nudity after all.

You lowered your eyes, you had no idea what had gotten into you. One look at him and you were a goner. Your mind simply stopped thinking for itself and only seemed to focus on his beauty. You never expected to be this shallow. But it wasn’t just looks, he was kind. Even without words he made you feel understood and safe. He had comforted you and listened to your ramblings as you shook under the fear that raced through you. Making noises that let you know he was there. His strong arms keeping you safe from the horrors in this world.

You had told him what happened. Told him about falling overboard and nearly drowning, how your parents found you later, and were surprised to see you unharmed, but were upset nevertheless. How everything resulted in your fear of being in the water. But that you loved the sea, and kept coming back almost everyday, no matter how short. You just never stepped inside it.

How you couldn't swim because of it.

He listened, eyes full of understanding and interest. Not once did you seem to bore him. But you didn’t tell him about the boy, you didn’t want him to think you were crazy, or childish. No, you told him what your parents told you. How you must've swum upwards and the water pushed you to shore again. How you were lucky.

How you had to be more careful. And you could have died. It was something your therapist had said shouldn’t have been said to a young child, but it was said in worry, and your mother’s reaction made your fear worse. You knew all that. And yet, you never dared to dip even a leg in. You tried your feet a few times but it all seemed to overwhelm you shortly after and it felt easier to avoid.

can’t

You looked at Blue, deciding on that name because of his eyes and told him. “I find it weird that the sea can both terrify and soothe me. I stay away, I yearn to be here and yet, I can never let go and embrace it. There is a feeling something will happen, and I don’t know what.”

He wrapped his arm around you, letting you lean against him.

“I wish I could know your name,” you sighed. “I know nothing about you.”

And yet he knew your deepest fear.

He took your hand and laid it on his heart and smiled. It felt like a love confession and you smiled. “You’re the romantic type, huh? All handsome stranger coming to save the innocent lady and sweeping her off of her feet and courting her.”

He grinned widely and nodded, then got up and held his hand out for you. You took it. Then he grabbed and lifted you up as he was holding you in his arms again. You honestly did not think you would ever tire of it. It was such a cliché, but it really made your heart beat faster.

“You’re good at courting too?” you teased, and watched him nod ever quicker.

“You seem perfect. Are you sure I'm not dreaming?”

He kissed you. Well, it wasn’t the worst dream if you were.

🏖️

Your one night stand turned into two, you and Blue spend the whole day together, walking down the beach, collecting seashells, he offered you the prettiest ones and you accepted gladly. You had enough shells, but it was sweet to be gifted them.

You arrived back home, rosy and a little sweaty, and very hungry. Pulling open your freezer and fridge to see what you could make, you noticed open packages and a lot more room than you had the day before.

“Blue?” you asked over your shoulder, knowing he by now knew it meant him, and he appeared a second later in the kitchen.

“Did you…eat the fish?” You asked a little nervously, the question seemingly ridiculous, but there really wasn’t any other explanation.

He nodded happily. and you looked at all the packaging he finished. That was a lot of fish…you also didn’t see any used pans or smelled anything coming back. Now he could have cleaned up… But it had all been frozen, it would’ve taken a while to defrost before it could be prepared. There had not been enough time before you had returned looking for your clothes.

“Did you eat it raw? Because that’s very bad for you.”

He shrugged.

“You could get sick.’ You worried, you didn’t really know what could happen, but getting sick was one thing you heard.

He shook his head.

He hadn’t seemed off, maybe raw fish was okay when it had been frozen, and was still frozen at the time of consumption? You had no idea.

“Are you one of those uncooked food eaters?” you tried.

He nodded.

“Oh okay, well, I don't really know what I have at home for you to eat.”

He pointed at you, grinning.

You laughed. “Well I doubt I would be tasty.”

He grinned even wider, a little more menacingly and stepped forwards, shoulders bracing like he was going to jump you.

“Oh no. I’m chewy, really unpleasant to get stuck between the teeth,” you giggled as you stepped away. “Will give you horrible stomach pains afterwards, you won’t like it at all.”

Then you shrieked as he moved forward and tried to sprint away. Tried, because he had you the next moment. He kept amazing you with how fast he was.

He held you against the fridge and stared into your eyes and hummed.

He made you weak when he looked at you that way. His eyes told you there was nothing he would rather look at than you, and it made you gooey inside. You had never had a man making you feel this way.

“You are so beautiful,” you whispered. So kind, so strong, so gentle. He really did seem perfect.

He kissed you slowly, his full lips just loving yours, taking his time. By the time he lowered them to your neck you had already widened your legs and he lifted you up.

While being carried to the bedroom, you really did wonder if this was real.

💙

The next day you went shopping, there was no food and Blue didn’t seem to like anything you had in the apartment. He wanted to come with you, and you easily agreed, having become used to his presence. you closed his seatbelt for him because he didn’t seem to remember to, warning him ‘safety first’ before starting the car. The way he looked being in your car was strange, but you didn’t comment. You knew he was a little different, and maybe he lived somewhere very remote, or maybe he didn’t come from here. It wasn’t a good explanation, but you had no reason to complain when he was the best man you had met so far in your life. So he didn’t know how technology worked? He knew how to work your body and that was much more important. The thought made you blush. You had never seen yourself as a very sexual creature, but he sure brought it out in you.

Shopping was, interesting, so to say. Blue looked around in wonder, but also passed by most foods you would pick out, and visibly preferred the fish section. You decided to go with what you both would like, but made a note to make sure to cook it for him before he died of salmonella. It would’ve been a tragic ending to your love story.

Packed with way too much fish you would ever finish on your own, you went back. Cooking was a little complicated, because Blue was intrigued by the process, but was more intrigued with touching your body during, and you were so distracted you nearly burnt the meal. And forgot to cook the vegetables properly.

Blue looked suspicious once a plate was put in front of him.

You laughed. “Okay sorry, but I don’t know how to eat fish other than cooked, and I don't want us to get sick. It’s good though, I promise. And I kept your veggies uncooked, like you wanted, right?”

You didn’t know how a raw diet worked, but fish was something you did not want to serve raw. You just hoped he wasn’t insulted by it.

He took a bite carefully, pulled a face, seemed to hesitate, then took another bite pondering. It was fascinating to see all the expressions so clear on his face. He showed everything he was thinking, and it felt like a better communication system than all the people that said one thing, schooling their face, but meant another. Blue had clearly never learned any tact, but at least he seemed honest.

Afterway carefully chewing, he seemed to decide that it was acceptable. You dug in yourself, it was very nice, your favorite dish. You were happy he hadn't found it disgusting. For some reason, the thought made you realize you would've been a little hurt if he had. Like he would have rejected a part of you, which was a ridiculous thought and you tried to shrug it off.

Desert was much more simple.

He had decided it was you. Again. You really enjoyed chocolate mousse, but the way he put his tongue on you had you decide that chocolate mousse was overrated. This was truly the best way to finish dinner.

🐟

You woke up. Warm, comfortable, an arm slung around your waist. Blue was still sleeping. Maybe you tired him out for once. The thought made you smile to yourself.

You carefully moved away from him to stretch, and made your way to the bathroom. Relieving your bladder and washing yourself, you wonder if this was going to be your life now. He seemed to have no intention to go, and you had no intention to make him leave.

It was strange, because you had just met. You knew nothing about him. But you still felt so comfortable around him.

You made sure to check in with your friends who were stunned with the fact your one night stand turned into some prolonged romance, but were happy. You didn’t really believe in love at first sight, but how else could you explain the jittery feelings that coursed through you as you thought of him? You didn’t want him to leave!

Things had to be settled today, you decided. One way or another you had to get some information out of him, or see what he wanted to do with the situation. What did he want? Would he like to keep seeing you? Go on an actual date? Was this already considered dating? You were a little worried he would suddenly disappear. And it frightened you how much you knew you would care about that.

“Alright , we need to talk.” You told him at breakfast, as he sucked on his raw eggs, something that still seemed disgusting to you, but you wisely didn’t comment.

“Well, I'll talk and you'll listen,” you realized. “This has been a lot of fun. Great, really, but I should know more about you, right? Who you are, or where you come from?”

You scratched your neck. it had been itching a little since yesterday, and while it was noticeable at first it started to get worse today. Maybe you had a little sunburn from yesterday, you did spend a long time on the beach.

Blue’s eyes zeroed in on your neck, it was like he could see what was there. But no one really did unless they were very close. He seemed to get a little dazed before your voice broke him out of it.

“Unless this is coming to an end.” You hated how your voice became a whisper. You didn’t sound confident at all, and maybe a little pathetic. Damn those stupid feelings.

He looked up at you confused. Like he didn’t know what you meant.

“I would like to keep seeing you, but I don’t know if that is what you want?” You told him, gathered up the strength to get some surety. It was either finding him missing at some point, or asking clarity for your own piece of mind. Maybe he had been waiting to see what you wanted anyway.

He got up, and long streaks of his legs marched him over to you, he grabbed your face with one hand. Gently holding it, he grabbed your hand with his other and put it on his heart.

“I think that’s a 'yes', I want to keep seeing you’?” you whispered, feeling yourself melt. Knowing he knew because he had to hold you up.

He frowned and nodded. Then he put his hand on your heart. Or maybe your boob, you weren’t sure. But it felt terribly romantic.

“Okay, that’s a step. Maybe we can go to your place, you must be tired of wearing the same thing.” You glanced down at his body “Well, when you do wear clothes.”

He pointed outside.

“You want to go now?”

He nodded but bit his mouth, like he was pensive about something.

“I don't have to go in, if that’s not what you want.”

He pointed at you.

“Me? You’re afraid I don't want to go inside?” As you saw him nod, you wondered how bad the neighborhood he lived in was. “I don’t care, If it’s that terrible you wouldn’t bring me there right?”

He nodded seriously.

To lighten the mood you joked. “And I'm sure you can protect me against any danger.”

He seemed to make himself bigger somehow, without making himself seem ridiculous. God, he was perfect. You wondered if one last time before you went would be a good idea. The sheets were beginning to be in need of a good wash, but once more wouldn’t matter by now, would it? And -

Your thoughts were cut off with a kiss and a devilish grin, like he had known where your mind had gone.

“Sorry, am I really obvious?” You said through heated cheeks.

He nodded, shrugged, and seemed to spread his arms out like he said ‘Who could blame you’.

You put your hands over your face. “You’re awful, no shame at all.”

There was a noise that, when you glanced back at him, might've been a laugh. so it made you laugh and then you were kissing again.

But he broke it off before it got too heated. Pity. He pointed outside again.

“Alright, let me make myself ready okay, And wear clothes! Not everyone will appreciate seeing your tooshie exposed.”

You did though. You enjoyed it very much, it was round and not too big or small. You stared at it as many times as you dared, and he didn’t seem to mind at all. In fact his own eyes never left your body either. He was just enraptured with you as you were with him.

Realizing you had been staring at the carpet for several minutes now without making progress at getting ready, you hurried. He waited at the door for you with the same cut off shorts and shirt he had been wearing all this time, no shoes. Oh god you had taken him shopping and no one had even mentioned he wasn’t wearing shoes. You had broken the one rule that stores would give.

You figured maybe no one noticed, because they were too busy staring at his handsome face. The only explanation you could think of.

You offered the car, but he pointed in another direction, and so you figured he must’ve lived nearby.

But as you neared the beach again, you became confused. Maybe he was a tourist? They sometimes booked one of those beach houses. But he led you on the beach itself, towards the water.

“What? Blue…you were supposed to take me to your home.”

He pointed to the water.

“What do you mean? You live overseas?”

He pointed at the water again, frowning. He made a movement with his hands and you didn’t get it, so he did it a few times, looking frustrated.

“Swimming?”

He stopped in relief, pointed at the water, to himself, to the water, ‘swimming’.

“You swam?” you said, stunned.

He nodded. Pointed towards you, and then him.

You didn't get it, again. “I don’t understand, sorry.”

He grabbed your hands, held them, and stared into your eyes lovingly.

“I get it, it’s hard to explain this way, really hard with no way of communicating.” you said sadly.

He looked at the water again, then pulled you.

And you froze and dug your heels in, staring at him in shock.

He looked at the water again, towards you, your entwined hands, and again towards the water, he made a noise. He sounded… urgent.Your neck began to itch worse again.

“Are you staying at one of the houses?” you said, a little desperately, even if you began to understand that probably wasn't the case.

He shook his head. He now looked at you a little sadly. Humming, his thumbs stroked your wrists where he was holding you. Like he was comforting you. The way he was staring at you, it was like he was expecting something. Waiting for something.

Your neck started to burn awfully. You tried to loosen your hands to rub the spot, but he wouldn’t let go.

“Blue, what - let go, my neck it’s -”

He let go of one of your hands, but was quick to lay it on your neck, right on the spot, it felt, it felt strange, it was burning up, but somehow his touch felt better.

Your body felt weird. And you noticed he was trying to pull you near the water.

“No, I can't,” you told him, feeling no control over your body as he dragged you further in. Your eyes drawn to the water, fear rushing through you, your mom’s face, the cold dark water surrounding you, your heart beating, no air, there was no air.

And then he appeared in your vision, his blue eyes, so like the boy in your memories, catching yours, calm, his hands holding you, a soft embrace. You felt your feet walking with him towards the water, wanting to protest, but your mouth was silent, and your eyes couldn’t look away from him.

Dark hair, blue eyes.

His body holding yours as he dragged you through the water, cold skin, slippery tail, A wide grin, so playful, words and promises made.

Blue eyes looking back at you tenderly, lovingly, holding you against him. You could see only him. Even as the water soaked through your sandals. Even as water splashed at your calves.

’You're not like us’...’I can keep you’... ‘find you’

Your body followed him in, he was smiling brightly, his eyes sparkling, but he didn’t let you go. He was guiding you, so gently. It was like your fear was there but numbed, in the background. Like the most important thing was to be close and not let go. You didn’t.

Water was around your waist, the waves moving your body back and forth, swaying in the current of the water, but he did not let you go, he did not pull away. He kissed you.

His soft lips felt like an explosion on yours. It felt like you were fading until all that was left was him. The way he felt. And the way he made you feel.

You made a noise. You felt weird.

Water splashing on you as he whipped his tail at you, laughter sounding through the air as you splashed back. His face disappearing underwater to speak to you.

Water reached his chest and you were already not feeling the bottom under your feet anymore. You let him pull you. He seemed happy. He kissed you and his tail sweeped against your legs and - …Tail? you looked down and saw the colorful glimmer of his tail, not legs, underwater. Before it would settle in, you felt a burst inside, a sharp painful burst, and you fell down. The power of it made him let go and you went under.

But his arms were around you immediately. You worried you would see darkness, but you could still see the light above you, the sun shining through the water. You could see him very clearly, his face so close to you as he helped you get steady against the movement of water. You expected to choke, but it felt like your lungs were just fine.

“What-” you said, and realized sound came out of your throat, water came in your mouth but disappeared and yet it did not feel like you ran out of air.

He smiled so happily, his eyes shining to you in delight.

“It’s okay. I got you.”

You looked around, water was surrounding you everywhere, there was seaweed twirling around you, the occasional crab you could see floating around. It looked like you could see a lot further than you expected down underwater.

You glanced down his body, noticing the tail, and momentarily were distracted by the beauty of it, before another movement distracted you. As you saw your own tail.

A shock went through you and you wanted to flinch away, but he wouldn’t let you. Your hands touched yourself. Slimy softness greeted you where your legs were supposed to be.

This wasn't real, was it?

"Bucky."

You looked up, confused.

“Bucky. My name. I couldn’t give it to you until now.” he grinned.

“Bucky?” you tested it out.

He seemed pleased with hearing it, and nodded. “Yes, I can't speak up there. I couldn’t tell you anything, only if you were in the water.”

You felt like you should panic, and there was confusion, and there was fear, but it all felt so….farther away. “What happened? I don't get it.”

“You had to turn.” He shrugged. “You didn’t want to go into the water the other day, but I knew you couldn’t stay here long. After we mated, I knew it would only take a few days before you turned. And I couldn't let you turn on land.”

That’s why he dragged you while you were so afraid, why he didn’t listen.

“But how can that happen, I'm not..this!”

“I marked you,” he explained in a tone like you should’ve known. ” When I saved you. You let me, remember?”

Blue eyes, dark hair….Bucky.

“You didn’t really think it was a dream, did you? Why else do you think we were drawn to each other? You’re mine.” For a moment his expression darkened. “Why didn’t you come to me? You said you would? I waited every day, and you didn’t come until a few years ago,and you never went into the water.”

Like you had disappointed him, failed him. Broke your promise. Which you did. It was a promise that shouldn’t have to be kept, you were children after all, but it became clear he had kept it. He had expected you to keep it. And it occured to you that rules, human rules, might not apply here.

“My parents were very afraid after what happened. They didn’t go anywhere near the sea for ages. Only after…when I moved out, I started coming here. Like I couldn't stay away.”

He seemed a little more pleased. “You were looking for me.”

“I-” ‘no’ you wanted to say. But weren't you always looking. Looking for something. Someone. Didn’t you feel you were missing something. “I couldn't get into the water.”

You tried to explain. You didn’t know why you felt the need to make him not angry or hurt by you. It hadn’t been your fault, but the way he acted was like you hurt him a great deal.

“So I came to you.” He moved closer and held your hand.

“Can I go back?”

“No.” He seemed happy with the idea. “ We don't go on land unless we have to. To kill, or to mate. And it takes years of practice. You have to be strong enough, and learn how. It took me all this time. But I knew I had to. I knew you were here.”

“You should have asked.” you said. Thinking of your friends, your family. If you couldn't go back, how worried they would be. How they would suffer.

“Why? You promised yourself to me. I saved you, I didn’t need to ask, I could have let you drown, or killed you. I didn’t. I own your life. And you said we were friends.” he shrugged.

Warmth pinched your eyes, but as soon as the tear appeared it had vanished in the cold silty water.

“Friends don’t hurt each other.”

“But I didn't." He sounded confused. “I would never hurt you. You belong with me. And now we don’t ever have to part. We live very long. You don’t have to worry about dying. And you don’t have to worry about the water anymore either. You are strong enough to go where you please. I could show you so many things. You don't need to deny yourself any longer. Let go, embrace me.”

He echoed the words you said to him, when you told him about your shared history. How you yearned to embrace your longing. How you wanted to be near the water. Had it simply been the sea that called out to you?

A fish curiously swam nearby, and you suddenly were reminded with the empty freezer, the frozen seafood he devoured…how you only seemed to like fish the most growing up. The bite he had given you. Your urge for the sea, even if you never dared to near it or touch it.

How Bucky had waited for you to show up and play with him, and how you had, unwillingly, broken that promise.

How he talked about owning your life because he had saved it, and how you could have a tail if only you did what he said.

Your tail was pretty, even if you thought his was better, but it wasn’t your legs and it felt strange seeing it swing back and forth, feeling like you could push upwards if you tried, wondering if you could keep up with him if you swam. Wondered how cold and dark the sea would get the further you would drift.

You looked backwards where you thought the beach would be, but, being underwater, all there was was water.

His finger turned your face towards him again. “I love you.”

You blinked, he put your hand on his heart, and the familiarity hit you like a warm glow, he had been telling you all along.

And he laid his hand on your heart, staring into your eyes intensely.

You felt the words leave your mouth without thinking about it. “And I love you.”

And you knew you did. Despite everything. You had been looking for him. You had been looking for love.