#merit treadmills

[consanguinitatum]

DT talk throwback: my interview w/David Blair, director of Takin' Over The Asylum

Over half a decade ago now I was a writer for David Tennant News/DT Forum, one of the bigger unofficial fan sites of DT's at the time (now sadly defunct). During my time there, I got the chance in Jan 2016 to interview David Blair - most notably the director of Takin' Over The Asylum, though he worked with DT in three other shows - about those projects, and what he remembered about David. I didn't want this interview to sink into the depths of the Wayback Machine and I thought y'all might enjoy reading it, so here is that interview in its entirety:

David Blair, Director / Front Cover of BBC DVD for Takin' Over The Asylum (UK)

Hello Mr. Blair! From 1992-1996 you worked with David Tennant on four separate television shows:  Strathblair in 1992, The Brown Man in 1993, Takin' Over The Asylum in 1994 and A Mug's Game in 1996.   Were you at all involved in the casting process for Strathblair, the first project you worked with David on... If so what did you see in the young actor that won him the role?  And how did that translate into choosing him as Campbell Bain?

I was a Producer at the BBC before I started directing. David was a student at the Royal Scottish Academy of Music & Drama in Glasgow. He asked if he could meet me just to talk through procedure for TV, interviews, etc., as the college appeared more interested in theatre than camera. Indeed, frowned on the latter! He’d be about 18 then. I certainly knew from the outset that he ‘had something,’ and I gave him a few minor opportunities as soon as I embarked on my directing career. To be clear, I only work with actors I want and believe in – still do. Some might say my own career has been stifled by this obduracy but I don’t care. My need of working with great actors is paramount and David’s a shining example of what makes it all worthwhile. I commissioned Takin’ Over The Asylum for the BBC and worked closely with the writer throughout the creative process. I knew as soon as I read the screenplay, David was going to be perfect for Campbell. But I’m not a fascist about this kind of decision-making, so I mentioned to the writer and Casting Director I had a boy ‘in mind’ for the role. I didn’t oversell; I knew he would make it work for himself. There may have been some minor scepticism at first, but when he did his audition, he blew them away.

David's audition tape for Takin' Over The Asylum

Many of David's fans have seen Takin' Over The Asylum and are well-versed with it. Can you talk more about Strathblair, The Brown Man and A Mug's Game, and David's roles in each?  Little is known about the roles he played in those productions. Can you give us any insight into the stories behind all three of the projects themselves, and what was it about David in those years that made you want to cast him in all of them?

In truth, Strathblair and The Brown Man were merely cogs in my directing wheel. They weren’t aesthetically of great merit but gave me a few credits to kick-start my career. What I needed was a ‘signature piece’ and that came along with Takin’ Over The Asylum. In many ways, I regard that as the start of my directing career. In those days, without a high-profile production on your CV, you would more than likely be destined for a treadmill of soaps and ‘continuing drama’. Before Asylum I was picking up scraps; after it, I was being asked what I wanted to do. Thus A Mug’s Game became my second collaboration with Donna Franceschild, who’d written Asylum. Ken Stott, Katy Murphy and others from Asylum were already on board - and really? We just wanted David to ‘be in it’. It wasn’t a huge role but he kindly agreed to come in and do it for us. Played a music student (at the Scottish Academy, as it happens), as I recall but, again, hugely professional and accomplished. In one scene, he had to throw up over the railway tracks at Partick train station in Glasgow.... ah, an enduring memory.....

Did David do anything on set of any of the productions he worked on with you that totally took you by surprise or that was unexpected?  What did he do?

I think in those days, more than anything, it was important to keep in mind just how young he was. This boy of 21, was commanding the space, displaying an extraordinary ability to create laughter and tears; sometimes both at the same time! He had natural charm and wit and that, combined with this wonderfully spontaneous joie de vivre, made him a joy to be around both on the set and off.

What do you feel David's most unique/valuable attributes as an actor are?  What do you think separates him from his peers as he has matured into the career he has today?

When I look at him now I still largely see the same lad I met all those years ago. Still bursting with enthusiasm and an absolute desire to come out on top – which he’s done consistently. He’s retained his appetite, clearly, and devoured a huge range of roles – never seeking a ‘comfort zone’ in the process. It’s also struck me that he’s never attempted to be somebody he’s not and that truth, integrity, diligence – some might say, ‘Scottishness’ (!) – defines the man we see today.

David has said he considers Takin' Over The Asylum a career-defining project for him. What is your reaction so many years down the line to that comment?

I’ve always been rather humbled by David’s regard for myself and Takin’ Over The Asylum. I genuinely never felt I did anything out of the ordinary. I picked the best man for the job which, God knows, he underlined in spades once he played the role. He gave me as much as I gave him. Of course, there are occasions in my own career where I look back at defining moments and say “if it hadn’t been for so-and-so”.... but, I guess, the reason why we can reflect in that way, is because we didn’t let anybody down. David didn’t – and I hope I didn’t.   Looking back at Takin' Over The Asylum all these years later, do you feel it still holds up as well as it did?  In retrospect do you feel it helped shed as much needed light on the mental health industry as you'd hoped?

Funnily enough, somebody called me the other day to say he’d sat down and watched all six episodes and couldn’t believe how well it’s stood the test of time. I think I agree. I suppose because it’s a subject matter nobody would touch with a bargepole these days – that’s keeps it fresh somehow. All the scripts were vetted by the Association For Mental Health before we signed off on them. The writer had had mental health issues and wanted it to be authentic and in no way derisory. In fact, I remember many of the extras I cast all had had mental issues – one in particular having been institutionalised for 37 years!

I'd like to explore your decision to cast institutionalized patients as extras in Takin' Over The Asylum in a bit more detail. Was this related to filming the series at Gartloch Hospital, and if not, how was the idea first presented and eventually implemented?  Was this something you and Donna discussed as part of your intention to make the show as sensitive to the subject matter and as authentic as you could?  And did you run into any problems with compensating the extras, or any other issues relating to their Sectioned status?

It was simply an idea I had not just to add authenticity, but to have these guys make a worthwhile contribution to the film – and also make them feel good about it, if you like. I wanted to dispel the notion that all mentally ill people were screaming banshees – the story alludes to this anyway – by whose definition are we mad? I also thought it would help the non-mad actors (if there is such a thing!!!) to be surrounded by the ‘real’ rather than the ‘made up’ and thereby enrich their own performances.

Speaking of Gartloch Hospital, how did you choose that particular hospital for the filming location?

Gartloch was one of several mental hospitals around Glasgow being run down at the time, as part of the government’s controversial ‘care in the community’ programme. In other words, ‘we don’t want to pay to look after them any more, so you do it’. Of all the ones I looked at, Gartloch – not least with its huge tower – seemed to provide the best ambience; most suitable for the story and visually rewarding also.

Exploratory views of the interior and exterior of (now abandoned) Gartloch Hospital

As you mentioned, you do certainly seem to gravitate towards actors and writers that inspire you. Years ago you spotted a certain something in David -- so if given an opportunity, would you be willing to work with David again and if you could choose your own ideal role for him, what would that role entail?

Nothing would give me more pleasure than finding a project that both David and I could work on. David, creatively, is a bit of chameleon, so I don’t think there’s an ‘ideal role’ for him as such. A brilliant piece of writing and a character that takes him a place he hasn’t been before would be the simple remit.

Over the years many fans of Takin' Over The Asylum have expressed their desire to know what happened to Campbell and Eddie after we left them. If you were to continue their story, where do you think Campbell and Eddie would be today?

My hunch is that Campbell would have gone on to be a success in the music industry and Eddie would have tumbled into an even darker place, fueled by alcohol and self-doubt. I’ve often imagined Campbell inadvertently bumping into Eddie while he was sleeping in a cardboard box and Campbell doing for Eddie what Eddie had done for Nana in the very first episode.

Lore is - from Donna amongst others -- that you asked her to take a minor character from a play she'd written and make a drama around him. Of course that character is Ready Eddie McKenna. Could you tell us what the name of that play was?  And what was there about Eddie in the framework of that play that made you see him as the kind of character that could carry an entire series - and that Donna was the woman to write it?

With regard to the question below, it’s strange how little fateful moments define what we are and what we do. In my early days as a Producer, I commissioned Donna to write one of four monologues I was overseeing – I didn’t direct it, as it happens, but it was a sterling piece performed by Katy Murphy. The BBC – not myself – then commissioned Donna to adapt a stage play she’d written called And The Cow Jumped Over The Moon to fit a play strand we were doing at the time.

On the day of the studio, the Producer overseeing the project, was taken ill and they asked me to fill in for her ‘in the gallery’. (This was an old TV play where you worked in a rehearsal room for, say, three weeks then shot the whole thing – multi-camera – in a matter of days). Of course, as a result, I became familiar with the material and was indeed taken by this minor character – Eddie – who was a hospital radio DJ. After that, I asked Donna if she felt there might be mileage in creating a serial based around this character. I’d love to go into great and meaningful depth about why I thought that but, in truth, it was just a hunch – although it was one relative to how Donna was writing at that time; I believed she could deliver something unique with wide appeal. She hadn’t done any original TV work at that time (apart from the monologue) and had worries.

It took her some time to finally come up with a first draft – the breakthrough, she told me, came when she switched from just a hospital to a mental hospital. After that, we worked the episodes one at a time getting precisely where we wanted to be on one, before moving on to the next. Not an option that’s often available these days. During this process both Donna and I were supported hugely by the then Head of The Department, Bill Bryden. And that support manifested most clearly in simply leaving us to our own devices. No script executives, story editors or any other distractions. The work we ended up with had the footprint of nobody but ourselves.

And that's that! I hope you all enjoyed this unique insight into Takin' Over The Asylum and DT's work with David Blair.

[transmutationisms]

I wonder when Kendall’s addiction started what his coping mechanisms were before that. I’m surprised that he isn’t a runner it would have fit him, with the grounding strain of the muscles and the dissociation and clarity of thoughts so many get. Lost in the repetition, suddenly a light jog turn into a mile.

Caroline give me ED Valium and wine mom vibes, did he shop her cabinets for random pills, painkillers? Stealing from Logan’s liquor cabinet filling it with cheap replacement and water till he was found out and punished ? Sneaking into parties underage parties with Stewy, finding something that felt much better than alcohol? Did he start using throughout high school with the immense amount of pressure from Logan and the prospect of being his heir suddenly being so much closer? Trying to get in on his own merit despite it not mattering because he would have gotten a guaranteed spot because of his name , something which his siblings and Stewy wouldn’t understand?

we do see kendall running on a treadmill in 2x10. like i've talked about his drug use as an expression of neoliberal control subjectivity and i agree that running fits with that. i think he runs middle distances (long is too contemplative / time-consuming, and he doesn't have the build for sprints), almost always on a stationary machine, and he had a pair of first-gen on's before they were even available to the general public.

anyway obviously this is just me sticking my finger up my ass really, but in my heart and mind he started with rx stimulants as a teenager, basically for the same reason he does coke in the show (auto-exploitation, business masculinity, self-improvement debtor-addict type shit). the way he uses downers is different and more escapist, but yeah i'm sure he also went through caroline's benzos and whatever opioids he could get his hands on when he wasn't trying to impress daddy. alcohol's a bit different because he does drink recreationally but also in social business settings, and probably has been doing both since his late teen years at least.

as to other behaviours, he's roughly as weird about food as the rest of his immediate family, so i definitely see him doing some kind of annoying-ass proto-biohackery tech-bro diet, and probably various other dumbguy self-improvement shit like trying to wake up at 4am or only sleep 3 hours a night or whatever. oh and i think he like, pretends that he tried wim hof one time, by which he means he turned down the temperature in the shower and then turned it back up because his little toothsies were chattering.

[elfo2222]

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Warnings to Watch:

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Could you like me to expand on any of these segments or examine how to coordinate them into the full blog entry?

I'll give a greater and inside and out treatment of the segments, developing each with more detail, examination, and individual experiences.

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Fantasy 3: "No Aggravation, No Addition" 🔥

Savvy Preparing Standards:

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Torment versus Progress Pointers:

- Sharp, shooting torment: STOP

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- Constant exhaustion: Reevaluate

- Reliable improvement: Achievement

10. The Neurological Ensemble: Emotional well-being and Actual Wellness 🧠💖

Neurochemical Change

At the point when you work out, your cerebrum goes through amazing substance changes:

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Mental Aspects:

Mental Advantages:

- Improved brain adaptability

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- Stress handling through actual work

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Mental Exploration Features:

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11. Mechanical Transformation in Wellness 📱🚀

Arising Advances:

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- Biometric GPS beacons

- Augmented Reality Exercise Encounters

- Customized Wellness Calculations

- Hereditary Wellness Planning

Development Biological system:

Brilliant Wearable Advancements:

- Ongoing physiological observing

- Prescient wellbeing examination

- Customized exercise suggestions

- Recuperation streamlining ideas

- Complete wellbeing biological system mix

Information Driven Wellness Approach:

- Accuracy following of:

  * Pulse changeability

  * Metabolic proficiency

  * Rest quality

  * Feelings of anxiety

  * Muscle recuperation rates

12. Building a Feasible Wellness Way of life 🌱💪

Comprehensive Health Structure:

- Actual flexibility

- Mental adaptability

- The capacity to appreciate anyone on a deeper level

- Wholesome awareness

- Local area reconciliation

Way of life Plan Standards:

- Purposeful development rehearses

- Careful sustenance

- Stress the executives methods

- Quality rest engineering

No-Social emotionally supportive networks

Flexibility Procedures:

- Measured exercise plans

- Adaptable planning

- Insignificant gear necessities

- Home and outside preparing choices

- Versatile force levels

End: Your Transformative Wellness Proclamation 🦸‍♀️✨

Past a simple activity routine, this is a comprehensive change plan. Wellness rises above actual measurements — it's a significant excursion of self-disclosure, strength, and persistent development.

Philosophical System:

- Development as a type of self-articulation

- Practice as a discourse with your true capacity

- Health as a dynamic, progressing discussion

- Wellness as a similitude for life's difficulties

Strengthening Pronouncement:

- Your body is a versatile, wise framework

- Every exercise is an extreme demonstration of self esteem

- Consistency makes force

- Progress is non-straight

- Your true capacity is limitless

Last Summon:

Embrace your excursion.

Challenge your cutoff points.

Revamp your account.

The most impressive change happens not in the rec center, but rather in the space between your ears. Your psyche is your most prominent weapon, your body is your material, and your soul is the brush

[theskybluesky]

Hey Jess, it’s been a long year.

Peace never sounded louder than it did today. The silence of crossing the finish line, the gust of breath pushing through from deep inside. My soul is weary, yet so, so full.

If I could choose a word to describe what this year has meant to me, it would be ‘unravelling’.

This word has two sides to it and I felt both equally this year. I unravelled many mysteries, pushed my limits and discovered what I really love. Not just love in a relational sense but love in every aspect - my passion, my faith, my hobbies, my values, my goals. I’ve always been introspective and impulsive but this year I took a step back and looked at my actions from a third person’s point of view. I was more mindful with every word and action, I chose to live in the moment and I chose to make decisions not on a whim but out of resolution.

They say what differentiates a successful person from the ordinary is how fast someone can put their plans into action. Reversible actions should be made fast while irreversible actions should be made carefully. I’ve always been scared to make difficult decisions, in fact, my friends would know I can’t even choose where to eat lunch most days. I’ve always been scared to make a decision others would not like, or that I would regret. That was because I never trusted my own decisions. Though I often have a different perspective from others, I always chose to ‘go with the majority’ and trusted in the ‘wisdom of crowds’.

As I slowly assimilated into life here, my view of people in this country slowly changed. It’s true that Malaysians will always feel more comfortable amongst our own people, but I started to see merits in the mindset and personalities of people here. People here are more individualistic, no doubt one could say they are more self-interested but surprisingly, having a few of them as close friends has truly opened my eyes. I learnt that it’s okay to say no, it’s okay to voice out our needs to others, it’s okay to not do something just because we don’t feel like it. Those may sound like simple things but I’ve never given myself space to be like this.

If I had, I would probably be an architect now haha. How ironic that I will be in the real estate landscape next year but not living as the main character of my childhood dream. Nevertheless, I would say little me would be proud that I am good at what I do, and that I am now enjoying my journey on this career path.

As I finished writing my last credit paper today, I stared blankly at my monitor and realised how far I have come. From dreading the higher work load in SG, to coming here and realising it’s not that bad, to deciding to throw myself into the postgraduate pit of hell without any assurance that I could cope, to finishing a whole semester smoothly without compromising my work.

When I tried to resign earlier this year, my supervisor had a few conversations with me. I think she could tell one of my main concerns was the fear of being unable to cope with my job and studies, and she asked me: ‘Why don’t you trust yourself more? I know you can cope.’

It’s funny cause I hadn’t thought of why I was scared until that point but I guess she was right, I didn’t trust myself. And that’s how we reach the other side of this story.

Unravelling. I felt myself unravelling many nights, buckling under my own loneliness, questioning why I felt so tortured. On the outside, I remained bubbly no matter what happened, but on the inside, there were so many nights where I cried myself to sleep wondering if I could have a peaceful sleep - forever.

It’s scary to have those thoughts. It’s scary to be alone, living in a house where every action is watched, where cooking is a sin and silence is deafening. I thought I knew what I was getting into when I decided to move here alone, but I didn’t expect working abroad to be so different from studying abroad. It felt like being on an eternal treadmill, no summer breaks, no recess weeks. Just a time loop of dragging myself out of bed, going to office, rushing to school and passing out after. Some days I even slept in the office toilet cause I was close to collapsing haha. It’s funny when I talk about it now but that was my reality. And I’m sure it will repeat next semester.

I asked myself, ‘am I depressed?’ Is this what they mean when they say mental health is important? Scary thoughts reached me everyday.

I won’t sugar coat and say that I’m feeling all better now. But things have definitely been much brighter. After meeting new friends, starting to enjoy what I study and making sure I spare enough time for leisure and rest, I’m slowly finding the balance of it all.

And after it all, in this moment, when I’m done with exams and waiting to transition into my new role at work, I realised everything is coming together. At the end of a long day, I feel so happy that I’m alive. I’m truly alive. Everyday I’m learning to be a better version of myself, for myself, and nobody else.

[lighthousenewsnetwork]

In a story that has left fitness enthusiasts and existential philosophers equally perplexed, a local man, Harold Plinkett, has revealed he walks a staggering 10,000 steps a day, yet remains firmly entrenched within the four walls of his single-bedroom apartment. Plinkett, a self-described "movement enthusiast," religiously tracks his daily steps with the fervor of a medieval monk counting rosary beads. "It's all about the hustle, baby," Plinkett declared, brandishing his fitness tracker with the authority of a pirate captain displaying his plundered treasure chest. "Every morning, I start my day with a brisk 2,000-step commute to the kitchen for my first cup of joe. Then, it's a quick 1,500-step jog to the bathroom, followed by a rigorous 3,000-step circuit around the living room coffee table – gotta keep those glutes activated!" Sadly, Plinkett's rigorous "routine" appears to be as geographically limited as a hamster on a wheel. Despite his impressive daily step count, his apartment's layout remains tragically unchanged. When confronted with this inconvenient truth, Plinkett offered a remarkably unfazed explanation. "Look, some folks like mountain hikes and scenic jogs," Plinkett conceded, adjusting his thick-rimmed glasses. "But me, I'm an explorer of the inner landscape. My living room is a vast frontier, filled with unexplored corners and treacherous furniture arrangements. Every lap around the coffee table takes me one step closer to enlightenment… or at least the remote control." Experts, however, remain baffled by Plinkett's stationary odyssey. Dr. Thaddeus Treadmill, a renowned podiatrist and self-proclaimed "ambulatory archaeologist," offered a hilariously ludicrous explanation. "Mr. Plinkett is a rare case of what I call 'domestic dimension folding,'" Dr. Treadmill pontificated, adjusting his monocle. "Think of his living room as a pocket universe, a microcosm of infinite possibilities. Each step he takes is a journey through time and space, albeit within the confines of his slightly cluttered apartment." Unsurprisingly, the internet reacted with its usual blend of mockery and morbid fascination. Memes depicting Plinkett as a miniature Indiana Jones navigating the perilous terrain of his throw rug went viral. Online forums buzzed with conspiracy theories, some suggesting Plinkett was a master of parkour, secretly scaling the walls of his apartment with ninja-like agility. Through the chaos, Plinkett remained unfazed. "They can laugh all they want," he scoffed, popping another bag of chips. "While they're out there chasing imaginary PB&Js in the great outdoors, I'm conquering the Everest of my living room one step at a time." And while Plinkett's fitness journey might not involve actual hiking boots or breathtaking vistas, one can't help but admire his unwavering dedication. He's a testament to the human spirit's ability to find adventure in the most unexpected places, even if that place happens to be a slightly dusty corner between the couch and the bookshelf. But let this be a cautionary tale, dear reader. While there's merit in pushing your physical limits, perhaps a healthy dose of fresh air and actual sunlight wouldn't hurt either. After all, there's a whole world out there waiting to be explored, even if it's just the park across the street from your ridiculously well-exercised living room. So, put down the remote, lace up your real shoes (not those fuzzy slippers you call "footwear"), and take a step towards a less metaphorical adventure. The world (and your sanity) will thank you for it.

[body-health-outlet]

Sole Treadmills The Ultimate Guide

Acquiring the perfect treadmill can metamorphose your expedition towards fitness. Sole treadmills stand out as among the foremost choices, whether for domestic or gym usage. However This exposition will plunge. Into the intricate facets of Sole treadmills, encompassing their attributes and merits, alongside a comparative scrutiny vis-a-vis other brands, and recommendations for optimizing your…

[dilwalashakil]

15 Best VR Gaming Chair Alternatives [Budget Friendly]

The appropriate seating can make all the difference when playing VR games. While traditional gaming chairs have their merits, a diverse range of VR Gaming Chair Alternatives offer unique benefits and comfort for immersive gameplay. Let’s investigate these alternatives in further detail and learn how they might improve your virtual adventures, from VR treadmills to DIY gaming seats. 1. VR…

[gritandgrace40]

Scripture reading

Ephesians 2:1-6

A glimpse of our condition before we met Jesus gives us a renewed gratitude for what God has done for us. We will see in this passage a long and painful look at the state of humanity without the Savior, and a reminder that this was once us as well. The language Paul uses feels hopeless. We were dead in our trespasses and sins.

Wewere spiritually dead with no hope in sight, and no power to bring ourselves back to life. A distinction is made here between our trespasses and sin, and the Greek words indicate the fullness of our fallen condition.

Trespasses (paraptoma) refers to us willfully crossing boundary lines. Sins (hamartia) means missing the mark or not living up to God's standard of righteousness and perfection. The careful wording of the passage shows us that we have both passively and actively fallen short of God's righteousness.

Passively because we are fallen people unable to be perfect, and actively because we choose each day our own way instead of His way. We lived in that state of sin before Christ.

We were slaves to sin, constantly trying to satisfy our souls with temporary pleasure. Like running on a treadmill, we were expelling all of our energy, but not getting anywhere. We needed regeneration. We needed resurrection.

We were oppressed from the world outside and our own sinful selves inside.

Then come two words that change everything - "But God. We were dead in our sins,but God made us alive.

We were willfully disobedient,but God showed mercy to us. We were running from Him, but God was running to us. He loved us while we were dead in our sins and far from Him. He took what was dead and made us alive.

Like the valley of dry bones in Ezekiel 37, we were completely dead and completely hopeless, but our God brings dead things to life (Ezekiel 37:1-14, Romans 4:17).

He changed everything. Gloria Furman says, "Whereas before, we were dead in our sin, when we are co-crucified with Christ, we become dead to our sin." We don't just need to try to change the things we do; we need to let Christ change who we are.

Those that have placed their faith in Him have been saved and made alive. Those two little words, "but God, tell our story and the story of every believer.

John Stott says,

"Indeed the major emphasis of this whole paragraph is that what prompted God to act on our behalf was not something in us (some supposed merit) but something in himself (his own unmerited favour)."

He tells us His purpose in it all. He has shown His grace and mercy and made us heirs with Christ, and He will keep showing His grace to us for all of eternity.

May we praise Him for those two little words "But God, that changed everything for us, and for the matchless grace poured out on all who believe.

[azriel-edgemont]

The Sire: Beauregard DeVry

I drove a two-hour round trip to go buy a treadmill off of someone on Facebook Marketplace, and I spent the entire drive talking to myself about Aggie—or more specifically, tonight, his Sire. Now you get to benefit from my highway monologuing.

So, DeVry. Beauregard DeVry. (Formerly Dorian Du Vrai Beau-Regard, formerly Dorian Beauregard). Went by John DeVry when he was teaching at Eton.

He was handsome, once; its written all over his features, though age has shown him little mercy. Though he hasn’t aged a day since he was 56 years old, the centuries he has seen still managed to write themselves into the lines and creases of his face, smudge their fingerprints ever darker under his eyes. He is, now, a tired sort of handsome, with salt-and-pepper hair cropped neatly around a tall, wide forehead, and a square jaw, not striking, nor pretty, but dignified and elegant nonetheless.

As far as vampires go, he’s on the older side–a few centuries, at least. He was born sometime in early 17th century France, and was turned on the cusp of the Age of Enlightenment, but I don’t actually care to get into it any more than that, because I’m not really very interested in French history and I don’t want to get bogged down in details about DeVry when Aggie is RIGHT THERE. This is just to establish three and a half particular details: He’s old, he’s French, and he–and by extension, Aggie–are of a lower generation than might be expected. (I’m thinking he is 9th or 10th, making Aggie 10th or 11th, because I like the idea of my insatiable little hedonist being of a lower generation and giving other vampires conniptions.)

Like all Toreadors, DeVry has an eye for beauty; and like his childe, he finds that beauty in fine art. What DeVry seeks, though, rather than experience or sensation or emotion, is perfection. Precision. The epitome of beauty is a perfectly executed brushstroke, the flawless line of arm and leg in a ballerina’s leap, technical expertise. Beauregard DeVry rarely, if ever, really experienced art through a lens of emotion. Even as a human he was always overly analytical, and maybe didn't really understand why people were enthused over works that lacked technical merit--those were flaws, through and through. The tragedy for him, I think, is that with the enhanced sense that come with vampirism, such flaws stand out to him more than ever.

Where Aggie wants to experience beauty–sink up to his elbows in it, crush it through his fingers and lap up the creative juices trickling down his wrists–DeVry would preserve it behind glass–immaculate, distant, untouchable, even those art forms that require air and movement in order to breathe. Over the years, this seeking of perfection has become a nearly pathological impulse, a flavour of madness, the standard for said perfection ever impossibly higher. This obsession, connected as it is to the Beast, has drastic implications for triggering Frenzies when his perfectionism comes up short.

Rather than finding beauty in the unique nature of a slight flaw, or in the evidence of humanity, it rings out discordant to him. He doesn’t care for breaking new ground or trying something new, the evolution of style that comes with the passing centuries and changing human minds; rather, he knows what art should be, in his opinion, based on his experiences, and continually tries to seek out those he thinks are capable of being molded into that perfect model. DeVry doesn’t want to experience art; he wants to observe it, for art’s own sake.

Because, in his mind, the vagarities of human emotion are an impediment to achieving the platonic ideal of art, DeVry holds a belief that only a Kindred will be able to create it; though he accepts that a Kindred with no taste or aptitude for art in their human life will not become magically adept upon Embrace. Therefore, those he chooses to support and patronize–-like Aggie–-are humans who show an aptitude beyond that of their peers, one which could be molded and shaped and tended to the uppermost extent to which they are capable; and then, if they continue to show promise, Embraced so as to allow them to exceed the limitations of humanity, accessing the ability to create what he thinks of as art–-something divine, to which humanity can only aspire.

To this end, Aggie is something of a failure. His artistry, while technical perfection in practice, is far too human in its expression; while he is capable of singing without his technique being overshadowed by emotion, he doesn’t typically care to. Along with unlocking hidden ability and potential, being Embraced also served to further feed the infusion of raw emotion that Aggie pours into his music, now inspired by the distance he is forced to take from Alastair and Phillip in his new unlife and the impact that his experiences with his heightened senses have on his emotions.

Most of DeVry's protégés that had the chance to meet his standards and be granted the gift, to have their senses and awareness awakened to the true potential of artistic perfection, fall short before they ever reach that stage. This failure, combined with the obsessive manifestation of the Beast in his blood, is often a trigger for his Frenzy--the tragedy there being that the Frenzy looks an awful lot like lack of emotional control. Because of how horrifying he finds it to be so out of control of himself when confronted by a Frenzy, he seeks to avoid it.

As a result, DeVry has only sought approval for Progeny a handful of times in his long life, to mitigate the risk of losing himself in a manner most unbecoming--but this also decreased the likelihood of finding that perfection he is constantly seeking.

Despite Aggie not living up to his expectations post-Embrace, he still harbours a great deal of care and affection for the younger Kindred (in part because Aggie, while affected by emotion more than DeVry cares for, is in fact capable of achieving mastery of his voice that DeVry has seldom heard before). Aggie, for his part, is giddy with the new sensations on offer, and thankful to DeVry for the privilege of experiencing them and the faith that DeVry has always shown in Aggie’s ability. (Another commentary on Aggie’s relationship with music and with DeVry is forthcoming.)

The two share a fairly genial, familial relationship; the core of their disagreements and conflicts tends to boil down to their individual natures. Where Aggie is loud and unabashed, and free with his affections, DeVry is reserved; where Aggie is messy, even sloppy, DeVry is fastidious; where Aggie has a tendency to be emotional, DeVry is cold. If they do have a conflict, it is often smoothed over by Aggie giving DeVry a private concert in which he brings all of his technical skill and expertise to bear, as though to remind DeVry, “This is why you Made me; this is why it was worth it.”

Aggie’s technical skill does, indeed, improve once his ear becomes more capable of hearing the finest distinctions between notes, and he no longer needs to worry about breathing to sustain himself while singing. Beyond that, there's something special and unique about Aggie to DeVry, something that prompts the elder Kindred to risk more and support more than a Kindred his age normally would. (Maybe Aggie looks like his dead wife, and over time that gets twisted around to signify how much more potential he has than any of the others did, like Aggie in the present is superimposed on her in the past.)

Before learning about the Masquerade, Aggie didn't challenge DeVry very often. If he slipped and let emotion colour his voice too much, and DeVry got angry--the beginnings of that Frenzy--he would adjust to make his master happy. He's willful and prideful, certainly, but DeVry also gave him something he had never had before--attention from a "parent" (neglected child of nobility, etc etc etc), which he is terribly loathe to lose. So he learned when to push, when to not, when to sing with technical perfection and when he could let a little more emotion through.

As the years have passed since Aggie's Embrace, he has become very good at reading DeVry, because whether the elder realizes it or not, he is affected by emotion, and Aggie is tuned into that. Appeasement behaviours--giving private performances, demonstrating technical mastery when he knows DeVry is in the audience--have typically been enough to placate him, though in recent years Aggie has noted that DeVry's mercurial reactions have become more volatile. These strategies don't really placate him as much as they used to, and Aggie knows that. It's part of the reason they aren't cohabitating by the end of the 20th century--Aggie can't sing him a song to calm him all the way down, anymore, so he has also started to find ways to put distance between them. It's almost like...dealing with senility in an older relative. Aggie respects DeVry, has affection for him, but is having to manage his swings more and more, and is getting more and more frustrated at the impediment it represents to his own expression. DeVry is like an old man, bewildered that they don't make the one specific candy from his youth anymore, and lashing out in confusion and frustration that no one will just go buy him the damn sweet.

DeVry has been married a few times, once as a human and twice after his own Embrace. His first wife was a ballerina; his obsession with the pursuit of perfection in art has its roots in the way that no other ballerina was ever able to compare to her talent and beauty after he lost her, and has since–-over time, with the erosion of rational thought, and the loss of connection to his more human emotions–-perverted itself. He was never a man who was moved to emotion by beauty, and so rationalized his feelings for her by assuming it was because of her technical merit, when in fact it was something far less logical and analytical than that. But he had no frame of reference for it. And because she was never actually technically perfect--that was just his perspective, his rationalization for his love--everyone else falls short. Even despite the objective perfection of Aggie's technique, DeVry is waiting for someone to make him feel like she felt, and that's never going to happen. There's only so long it can continue to simmer before something has to give in their relationship.

DeVry is currently unmarried, has no mortal descendants, and Aggie is his only living childer.

[danielkamensky]

The Ultimate Showdown: Comparing Cycling and Treadmill Workouts

Regarding cardiovascular exercise, two popular options often find themselves in a showdown: cycling and treadmill workouts. The debate surrounding which is more challenging and effective has intrigued fitness enthusiasts for years. In this article, we will dissect the mechanics, intensity, impact on joints, mental stimulation, accessibility, and personal preferences of both activities. By understanding the nuances of each workout, you'll be empowered to make an informed decision based on your fitness goals and personal preferences.

Understanding the Mechanics

Let's examine their mechanics to truly comprehend the merits of cycling and treadmill workouts. Cycling predominantly engages the lower body muscles, including the quadriceps, hamstrings, glutes, and calves. It delivers an exceptional cardiovascular workout while being gentle on the joints. Treadmill workouts, on the other hand, involve walking or running on a moving surface, engaging a wider range of muscles throughout the body. While both exercises promote overall fitness, they differ in muscle emphasis and exertion.

The intensity and Calorie Burn

Intensity is a vital factor in any workout routine. Regarding cycling, speed, resistance, and terrain influence the intensity level. You can elevate your heart rate and maximize calorie burn by pedaling faster, incorporating resistance, or tackling hilly terrain. On the treadmill, you have control over speed and incline, allowing you to customize the intensity of your workout. Adjusting these settings allows you to simulate different terrains, challenging yourself to burn more calories. Remember, the ultimate intensity and calorie burn depend on your effort and chosen settings.

Impact on Joints and Injury Risk

Considering the impact on joints and potential injury risks is crucial when selecting a workout routine. Cycling is generally regarded as a low-impact exercise that puts minimal stress on the joints, making it an ideal choice for individuals with joint sensitivities or injuries. However, improper bike setup or excessive strain can still lead to discomfort or injuries. Though effective for cardiovascular fitness, treadmill workouts involve repetitive pounding, which may strain the joints, especially in the knees and ankles. Employing proper form, wearing appropriate footwear, and gradually increasing intensity can help mitigate the risk of injuries in both exercises.

Varied Terrain vs. Controlled Environment

One significant advantage of cycling is the opportunity to explore diverse terrains. Riding outdoors exposes you to varying landscapes, elevations, and natural beauty, providing a sense of adventure and connection with nature. However, outdoor cycling is susceptible to weather conditions and safety concerns. In contrast, treadmill workouts offer a controlled environment. You can simulate different terrains and customize your workout with adjustable speed and incline settings. The controlled environment of a treadmill is especially advantageous for individuals who seek predictability and consistency.

Mental Stimulation and Enjoyment

Physical exertion is not the sole factor in determining the appeal and longevity of a workout routine. Cycling offers a multisensory experience, allowing you to immerse yourself in nature, relish the scenery, and enjoy the thrill of exploration. It can also be a social activity, fostering connections with fellow cyclists. Treadmill workouts, on the other hand, provide various entertainment options such as watching TV shows, listening to music, or utilizing virtual training programs. Additionally, many treadmills offer progress-tracking features, fueling motivation for those who thrive on measurable goals.

Accessibility and Convenience

When it comes to accessibility and convenience, both cycling and treadmill workouts have their unique considerations. Cycling requires access to a bicycle, whether you own one or have access to shared bikes. Additionally, safe and suitable cycling routes may not be universally available. On the other hand, treadmills can be found in gyms or easily purchased for home use. This makes treadmill workouts more accessible and convenient, especially in inclement weather or areas lacking cycling infrastructure. Your location, lifestyle, and access to equipment should be considered when choosing.

Personal Preference and Goals

While considering the physical aspects of cycling and treadmill workouts is important, personal preferences and fitness goals should not be disregarded. Exercise is inherently subjective; what resonates with one person may not be with another. Reflect on your fitness goals, interests, and specific health considerations. If you yearn for outdoor adventure, social interactions, and an immersive experience, cycling might be your preferred choice. Conversely, if you value a controlled environment, technological features, or a predictable routine, treadmill workouts may be better suited to your preferences.

There is no definitive victor in the battle between cycling and treadmill workouts. Both exercises offer distinct challenges and benefits, rendering the decision a matter of personal preference and individual goals. Cycling engages specific muscle groups, provides a low-impact workout, and delivers an immersive outdoor experience. Treadmill workouts enable controlled intensity, offer entertainment options, and provide a convenient indoor exercise solution. Consider the mechanics, intensity, impact on joints, mental stimulation, accessibility, and personal preferences when choosing. Ultimately, the key is finding an exercise you enjoy and can sustain over time, leading to improved fitness and overall well-being.

[amtrak12]

Lucifer Rewatch Liveblog: 1.05

I took my dog for a walk AND I ran OUTSIDE (which is much harder than on a treadmill) so I’m super tired and don’t know how coherent I’ll be. But I need a hyperfixation fix so let’s liveblog S1 ep 5 of Lucifer!

I have no fucking idea what episode this will be. Not the one where Maze meets Trixie because I know which ep that is. But could it be the ep where Dan meets Maze? :O

Let’s find out.

Oh I missed my blorbos over the past week. And I have a five day weekend thanks to holiday (today) and vacation (Monday and Tuesday) so lots of time for full Lucifer eps!

>>>   ... Okay I have a vague memory of a designer shoe episode.

>>>   "No sharp objects until we find out why." -- ROTFL Maze going full parent bodyguard mode there :P

>>>   Really it's so boring that "reflection of your desires" always means sex. And always Hollywood thin women sleeping/wanting to sleep with Lucifer. You are a show about the devil. BE GAYER! (And not just gayer sex. I mean gayer everything! Give me more diverse desires!!)

>>>  *snort* Dan always knows Lucifer's around before Chloe does.

>>>   Dan: You need to stop hanging out with Lucifer. Chloe: Already did. Dan: *points at Lucifer behind her* Nope.

>>>   Makes me giggle everytime lol

>>>   Still so foreign to me for them to have a lieutenant/boss. In later seasons, you'd think Chloe and Dan (and Ella) just ran the department by themselves

>>>   "I'll never get elected without support from the minority communities." -- Fairly certain that's never been obstacle before in becoming chief of police but okay.

>>>   "My job's gonna totally get me killed." -- No, siding with Lucifer during an angel war to be the next God will, though. Sorry.

>>>   Okay but I do adore that Chloe does in fact always drive. For the rest of the series. You know who didn't do that? Warehouse 13. And SUSPICIOUSLY Myka stopped driving when the show went from canon to those OOC and terrible videos written by fan wannabes. (And yes, I’m including S4 in there.)

>>>   LMFAO!!! THAT'S WHY SHE SLAPPED HIM??? I've seen it in fanvids and had no memory of its canon occurrence.

>>>   "So you want to feel new things?" *slap* - fucking hilarious. I'm dying.

>>>   Okay I'm pretty sure the pig dies. :( RIP Pig Diddy.

>>>   The only memory I have of a cop bar isin fanfic. But it was S1/early S2 era fanfic, so this is probably where the author pulled that from.

>>>   Anthony Paolucci? No, no, no. That's Jack from Prue's old auction firm. #Charmed

>>>   Is this the first time they said Malcolm Graham's name in the show? Does this mean we’re out of the character introduction stage and into the season plot stage? Always a good transition for a show.

>>>   (Like both stages are super important. I’m not knocking the character introductions. It’s also just really fun to watch the show leave the intros and start walking on its own two feet.)

>>>   "On behalf of myself and only myself, I think you're a sack of ass." *punch* -- He’s actually speaking for me too here. *shouts* Punch him harder, Lucifer!

>>>   Oh Maze sends Amenadiel over to Linda? Well, then she really only has herself to blame for them sleeping together in S3, doesn't she? lol :P

>>>   "I know Krav Maga!" -- LOL Okay Linda. I'm sure a bad guy would be real scared by you shouting that.

>>>   "I have a key." ... "Yeah, let me start over." -- Yeah maybe you should there, Amenadiel LOL God I love his early days of pretending to be human. He's so bad at it!

>>>   “Jealous of a mortal woman?" -- Maze, honey, you're jealous of a lot of people, so yeah probably.

>>>   Ugh, I was so close about this being the episode where Dan meets Maze. They bumped shoulders but alas, no more.

>>>   "Chloe is the mother of my child" -- I mean, she's also just Chloe who deserves not to get hurt/killed on her own merit but whatever. I'll blame the writers for that one.

>>>   "Quite condescending if you ask me." -- Yeah, me too, Lucifer.

>>>   "Act like a child, get treated like a child." / "Isn't it illegal to leave your child locked in a car?" -- ROTFL that was fantastic, both Chloe locking him in the car and Lucifer’s immediate follow up retort. Absolutely no hesitation from him. Love it.

>>>   Is that a granny square door curtain? What weight yarn did they use? Surely it had to be weight 3 or lighter, right? Weight 4 would be too heavy to hang in a doorway. It would stretch too much.

>>>   Yellow Viper -- Hold on the ending of this episode is coming back to me now.  Isn't he helping kids get out of the gang now? Or was there a double twist with him? It was something like that.

>>>   Yep. RIP Pig Diddy. :/

>>>   "They really don't make bad guys like they used to." -- He means that literally, Chloe. He’s had every bad guy (and every person who simply felt guilty for something) in Hell with him since the beginning of time.

>>>   "A fluid exchange." -- LMFAO Amenadiel, you really have no idea what words are coming out of your mouth, do you? ROTFL

>>>   "If there's one thing the Devil knows it's that people need to take responsibility for their own bad behavior." -- Yet another blatant statement of what the end game is.

>>>   "Yes, people do need to take responsibility for their own bad behavior." -- And that's the journey we take to get to the end game, and Lucifer not grasping Chloe’s implications there is why that’s the series journey.

>>>   OMG there was a parallel 'Chloe shoves Lucifer down and lies on top of him' scene to the S1 finale’s 'Chloe shoves Maze down and lies on top of her' scene?? I had no memory of that, but of course that was a parallel. Everything in this show is a parallel.

>>>   "Your bartender's a ninja? Of course, she is." / "Yeah." (casual and smiling)

>>>   "Ass saved. You're welcome -- his ass. Not yours." -- Just give it a few more months to a year, Maze. You'll be blowing up cars on Chloe's behalf.

>>>   GOD, they really do have some juicy Chloe/Lucifer conversations in S1, don't they? 'Addicted to creating chaos and seeing where the chips lay' -- which Lucifer obviously didn't like but he could laugh it off and then Chloe came for the jugular: "It's like you have a god complex." OOPH! That one hit Lucifer hard. That was both meaty and juicy. Delicious.

>>>   "I saw your Marine tattoo." and thus knew exactly what it meant. AND YET, neither you nor Lucifer noticed the scar being badly hidden by Pierce's Marine tattoo and so didn’t realize he was CAIN????

>>>   (admittedly, Chloe had no possible way of knowing that in S3, but I'm still blaming her and everyone else for Cain.)

>>>   I abhor Cain

>>>   THREE! Chloe has played Lucifer THREE separate times now and he still hasn't learned ROTFL. Like ‘oh yeah, I’m totally interested in having sex with you -- SIKE! and it gets him everytime!!! #dumdum

>>>   Also, good for her for leaving him there! lol

>>>   Maze is now stalking Chloe. Debates killing her. Imagines about 13 different ways she could do it without making a sound (and another dozen that are messier and rougher that would let Maze vent some of her anger) -- and then leaves without harming a hair on Chloe's head. God, I love Maze.

>>>   Also cool that that's the first time we get to see her demon face. I like her demon face a lot.

Good shit! Good shit! Good shit! S1 is way better than my first impression of it was. Like, it's still ranked fifth when ordering the six seasons by favorite. But it's fifth favorite now instead of second least liked!

Be prepared for more liveblogs over the next few days since I'm on a long weekend! Catch you next time!

[fittrrmy]

Trainers Say the Viral ‘3-2-8’ Workout Trend Is One They Can Wholeheartedly Get Behind

There was 12-3-30 on the treadmill, then 25-7-10 on a StairMaster, and now, the latest three-part, numerically-based, TikTok-borne fitness trend: the 3-2-8 workout plan. Despite the gimmicky nature of trends, each of these programs have merit. And with 3-2-8, you don’t even need a specific machine. What is 3-2-8, exactly? Here’s the breakdown: 3 – Three strength workouts per week 2 – Two low-impact workouts like barre or Pilates (done at an active recovery intensity) per week 8 – 8,000 steps per day Daily walking and five workouts per week is one fitness plan that’s virtually universally endorsed. Whether a medical practitioner, certified trainer, or holistic coach, you’d be hard pressed to find an expert who’d steer you away from a program of this nature. The combination of muscle and stamina-building, mood-boosting, mobility- and flexibility-improving, circulation-stimulating, and injury-preventing benefits from these different activities makes this series a true trifecta. Why trainers love it Nourish Move Love founder and certified trainer Lindsey Bomgren says 3-2-8 is a “TikTok trend that I can actually get behind.” Why? She explains it’s “a well-rounded workout routine that encourages those who love strength training to incorporate more mobility, balance, and core training through Pilates classes. On the other hand, it encourages Pilates lovers to focus on larger muscle groups and heavier weights to build strength. It’s a win-win.” Trainer Les Alfred, host of Balanced Black Girl podcast, adds that the addition of walking makes it “a structured way to have a balanced exercise routine.” She says, “Walking throughout the day is a great form of cardio that is often easier on the body than higher-impact exercises like running.” Not to mention, walking—especially outside—comes with a whole host of mental health benefits as well. What’s more, these five workouts don’t have to be super long, either (this is in line with a lot of other programs, offering short but effective workouts done consistently over time). Bomgren, for instance, offers a 3-2-8 challenge with workouts that range from 25 to 40 minutes long. But like any workout plan, you can scale the 3-2-8 program to fit your personal goals and needs, she says. “If you prefer Pilates, you can make your two Pilates training days longer sessions (30 to 40 minutes) and your three strength training days shorter (15 to 20 minutes), or vice versa,” suggests Bomgren. “Because the best workout program is one you actually want to do.” The caveats As a certified yoga instructor herself, Alfred does add that yoga could be a nice addition to the low-impact workouts, either in lieu of or in combination with Pilates and barre. Some experts also point out that the routine is missing any moderate- or high-intensity cardio, unless you’re doing the workouts at a fast enough pace. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic exercise per week, so aim to pick up the pace when you can to really get your heart pumping. And of course, as with any social media trend, remember to be skeptical when it comes to specific claims. Participants on TikTok are saying it helps their menstrual cycle and polycycstic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and assists with lymphatic drainage, but there’s not exactly double-blind, placebo-controlled, clinical trial testing those things. If you’re just looking for a solid routine to get moving in a healthy way, though, the 3-2-8 trend could be just the way to do it. Read the full article

[orlintommas]

The power of decision

I previously wrote about procrastination and its attributes. Of course, the content that I covered was biased toward my own life experiences. As I stated in my previous post, I am writing guidelines to remind myself what procrastination is and how I can beat it. Procrastination is the opposite of decision (indecision to be precise). But where ever there is indecision, doubt and fear soon follow. That is why it’s important to learn how to overcome indecision. The key to eliminating indecision and in turn eliminating procrastination lies in the power of decision.

“Indecision and procrastination are twin brothers. Where one is found, the other may usually be found also. Kill off this pair before they completely “hog-tie” you to the treadmill of FAILURE.”

Napoleon Hill — Think and Grow Rich

Those who wish to obtain the power to overcome procrastination, have to earnestly and persistently seek to master the power of decision. The richest and most successful people have displayed the particular habit of coming to decisions quickly and being very slow in changing those decisions if they ever decide to change them. To beat procrastination, you must be decisive in your decision-making. But this is a skill that will not come by chance, one must constantly and consciously make an effort to acquire and master it.

Think for yourself

Decision-making demands the ability of one to think for themselves. You cannot permit the newspapers, social media, and the neighbors’ gossiping to do the thinking for you. It is very crucial to keep your own counsel. Do not let the opinions of others influence your decisions because it will rob you of your own desires.

“Opinions are the cheapest commodities on earth. Everyone has a flock of opinions ready to be wished upon anyone who will accept them.”

Napoleon Hill — Think and Grow Rich.

If you want to gain more confidence and have power over your own decisions you must learn to keep your mouth shut and your eyes and ears open. When you talk too much you do very little of anything else. You reveal sensitive information to those who might envy you and wish to defeat you. And most importantly you display the extent of your knowledge or lack therefore. Do not let just anyone enter your confidence, be very selective about whom you chose to disclose things to. Millions of people walk with their heads down due to inferiority complexes inflicted on them by the advice or ridicule of some ignorant but well-meaning person.

“Close friends and relatives, while not meaning to do so, often handicap one through “opinions” and sometimes through ridicule, which is meant to be humorous.”

Napolean Hill — Think and Grow Rich.

Do not be mistaken, making decisions oftentimes calls for great courage. Therefore, I advise you to take at least 2–5 minutes of careful and deep introspection before making decisions. Ensure that you gather adequate information and facts without disclosing too much before making very big decisions. Most importantly, refrain from saying yes to every request for help. This can be tricky but trust me, your peace of mind, sincerity, and decisiveness are largely linked to your ability to say no (this merits an entire post of its own).

You have a brain of your own, use it, shut your mouth, open your eyes and ears and come to decisions for yourself.

Organized planning

Those who want to beat procrastination cannot escape organized planning. You have to learn to not only organize your goals but also learn to organize your day. Decisions become easier when there are not left to chance or “spontaneity” as people love to proclaim. Those who cling to spontaneity must recognize this one fact, organized planning liberates creativity and encourages spontaneity. As paradoxical as that might seem, just slowly let it sink in. When things are planned out you don’t have to worry about running the risk of your mind being clouded by unimportant tasks.

“A schedule defends from chaos and whim. A net for catching days.”

Annie Dillard

Always take the time to plan your day, to plan for that one important task that you must complete in the day to ensure that either your business grows or you grow. It is very important for humans to feel the sensation of accomplishment. Ticking that all-important task from the list is so satisfying and gives your mind room to continue to venture for more creativity and to become more decisive.

“Try to imagine a life without timekeeping. You probably can’t. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. Man alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out.”

Mitch Albom

The lack of organized planning is also the major cause of people feeling overwhelmed. Big projects and tasks will always seem impossible at first. They will always reveal to you your lack of knowledge and once you fall into the trap of thinking you can’t do it, then it’s over for you. But every big project or task can be broken up into little actionable tasks that even the most unskilled and unknowledged individual can complete. James Clear states that you can break up any habit into 2-minute actionable tasks. The 2-minute rule is a fantastic rule to live by and when you learn to use it correctly, no task will ever seem impossible.

“This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.”

Deuterononmy 30:19

Life and death are in the power of decision. To defeat humanity’s enemy, old man procrastination, you must call upon the powers of decision. Have the courage to think and make decisions for yourself. Imbue that with organized planning and you will free your mind from senseless worries allowing it to be sharp and ready to make crucial decisions. Remember that the power of decision is not something you can acquire overnight, you must work on it constantly.

[play-now-my-lord]

I don't personally believe there is sicko shit that merits killing a person, that's reserved in my mind for people who are a violent threat to life or limb to another person and refuse to stop what they're doing (and only in situations where other less brutal ways of stopping them are functionally impossible). But like, even supposing you do think that, I think you should maybe have a little more pause than people on here do about stepping onto a semantic treadmill where "socially abnormal fetish" and "capital crime" are exact drop-in equivalents for each other

tumblr contextually narrowing "paraphilia" is really fucking chilling actually. In a clinical context that refers to, like. Any fetish you can't get off without, not "sicko shit for which you should be killed", and I don't like people equating the two one little bit

[knox-knocks]

on a place of insecurity for the kiss prompt please

you got it my friend :-*

tw for body image self confidence issues

~

Andrew didn't know why he cared. It had never been an issue before. But as he took off his shirt and smoothed his hand down his chest to his stomach, he felt a twinge of - of something. It was unpleasant. Andrew didn't particularly enjoy it.

Andrew let his hand fall to his side as he eyed himself in the mirror for a few seconds longer. Then he grabbed the bottle of pills Betsy prescribed him and shook one of the tiny blue candies into the palm of his hand. He raised it to his mouth, and swallowed it dry.

The living room was a bustle of activity. Neil was on his hands and knees looking for his shoe under the couch and Kevin had his hands full of a suspicious green smoothie that he was trying to coax Neil into trying with him. He was ranting about the merits of protein powder and whatever the hell else he put in it. Andrew didn't know how he could stomach that on top of the breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast Kevin ate every morning, but he also didn't care enough to ask.

Neil lifted his head when Andrew sauntered into the room. Kevin didn't stop talking, but Neil simply ignored him. He was fully dressed for the gym, though his hair was still a wild mess. In his hand, he triumphantly clutched his missing shoe.

"Hey," Neil said. A smile pulled at the edge of his mouth, a perfect companion to his tussled curls. "Did you take your meds?"

Andrew nodded and bypassed Kevin on the way to the kitchen. He stole a piece of bacon off Kevin's plate and an untouched pancake off Neil's. Andrew knew Neil had left it for him, anyway.

The gym was a sordid affair. A mix up and a scheduling conflict meant the Foxes had to share the gym equipment with the football team. Andrew waited, annoyed, for his turn on the weights. He ran laps on the treadmill next to Neil until a bench opened up for Andrew to take. Andrew switched off his treadmill and inclined his head towards Neil. Without so much as slowing, Neil flashed five fingers at him and increased his speed.

Five minutes later, Neil joined him at the weights section of the gym to spot him. Andrew didn't miss the way Neil's eyes lingered on his chest and biceps as he did his first rep. Andrew focused on the pull and strain of his muscles as he pumped his usual two hundred pounds. Bit by bit, it erased his previous insecurity until it was little more than a buzz in the back of his mind. It didn't hurt that Neil was still watching with half-lidded eyes and a quiet hunger.

Andrew replaced the bar on the hooks and raised his eyebrows at Neil. "If I drop the bar on my neck and die because you were distracted, I'm haunting you," he told him.

Neil ruffled his fingers through Andrew's hair, scattering the sweaty strands in ten different directions and then smoothing them back down again. "I wouldn't let that happen."

Andrew huffed and laid back down on the bench. He completed four more reps and removed some of the weights for Neil to do a few sets before Wymack called an end to gym time.

"Hey, Andrew." Nicky had draped himself over the five pound weights, hand tucked under chin and hair pulled into a small bun at the back of his head. "Do you wanna go to Eden's tonight?"

"Pass," Andrew said.

"Oh, come on," Nicky whined. "Just because you and Kevin can't drink doesn't mean the rest of us can't. Neil?"

"Sorry," Neil said, tone unapologetic.

"Drink at your own place," Andrew said.

"The only alcohol we have is the half-bottle of watered down vodka Matt keeps under the sink. That's not gonna get the three of us drunk."

Andrew blinked at him and Neil shrugged. "Figure it out," they said at the same time.

Nicky threw his hands up in exasperation and retreated.

Back at Fox Tower, Kevin left in a hurry with promises of watching the latest rerun of the Trojan vs Longhorns game with Neil thrown over his shoulder. Neil chased him down the hall until he confirmed they were, in fact, also watching the other games he had recorded. When he returned, he quirked an eyebrow at Andrew and jerked his head toward the bathroom.

"Shower with me?" he said.

That unpleasant feeling swirled in Andrew's belly. He shook his head. "I'll shower after you. Don't hog all the hot water."

Neil accepted that with a nod and placed a firm kiss on Andrew's jaw.

"You know," he said as he shucked his shirt over his head and threw it in the general direction of the bedroom, "I've been thinking of getting Kev those books he's been eyeing for being sober for three months. Do they celebrate three month sobriety?"

Andrew shrugged. "Get them anyway. I don't think I can handle any more drool on the computer keyboard."

"I'll order them today." Neil stepped in the doorway of the bathroom with his shorts balled up in his hands. "Hey. You okay?"

"Peachy."

Neil tilted his head until he caught Andrew's eye. Andrew didn't miss the crease of concern in his eyes. "The antidepressants still making you feel weird?"

"I've been worse."

Neil eyed him until Andrew grew tired of being scrutinized and ushered him toward the waiting shower. Neil left the door open and Andrew cast a lingering glance over his shoulder as he peeled off his boxers and stepped under the hot spray of the shower.

Andrew didn't realize he'd fallen asleep until the sound of Neil rummaging through the drawers for clean clothes woke him.

"Morning," Neil quipped. Andrew squinted at him from under his arms. "Shower's free."

Water beaded on Neil's shoulders and ran down the corded muscles in his back in thin rivulets. They disappeared in the fluffy towel still wrapped around Neil's waist. Neil shook out his hair and looked back in time to catch Andrew staring.

He raised his eyebrows.

Andrew rolled his eyes at Neil's smug expression and pulled him closer by the towel. "Asshole," he said, and kissed him.

Neil planted his hands on either side of Andrew's thighs and let the towel drop to the floor. He hummed and opened his mouth as Andrew directed the kiss with nimble fingertips on his jaw. Neil pulled back with a gasp and began kissing down his neck.

"Neil," Andrew said. His eyes fell shut when Neil sucked at the pulse in his neck. "I haven't showered yet. I'm sweaty and gross."

"We can shower when we're done." Neil pressed a hand against Andrew's back and bit at his collarbone. A surprised gasp slipped past Andrew's teeth.

"You're gross."

"You like it."

Andrew didn't deny it.

Neil worried at a spot on Andrew's throat and reached for the hem of his shirt. Andrew startled at the first brush of Neil's fingers against his bare skin. He jumped and reached for Neil's hands, but Neil was already moving back.

"Andrew?" he asked, looking him up and down, searching for what had triggered this reaction. His chest heaved, skin already flushed a distracting shade of pink. "What's wrong?'

"I don't want to take my shirt off." Andrew wouldn't meet Neil's gaze.

"Okay," Neil said. "Is everything okay?"

Andrew nodded, then shook his head. He chewed on his bottom lip. Neil gently reached out and pulled his lip out from his teeth with his thumb. He waited for Andrew to find the words. Neil was always so patient with him.

"I gained weight," Andrew said. When Neil said nothing, Andrew looked up to find him looking befuddled.

Maybe Neil didn't notice, but Andrew couldn't stop noticing. He knew it was the meds fucking with him, Betsy had said that would be a side effect, but it didn't stop Andrew from being self-conscious. He couldn't help comparing himself to Kevin and his green smoothies and defined abs, or Matt's chiseled chest. Andrew had always been on the heavier side, but it had always been made of muscle, and it had never bothered him before.

He was still strong. He could still protect himself. He was able to lift Neil up against the wall when they were kissing. It shouldn't have mattered.

Neil watched him for a moment longer and said, "Can I try something? I have to take off your shirt."

Andrew hesitated, but he trusted Neil. He nodded and lifted his arms so Neil could pull his shirt off. Then Neil pushed him with a gentle hand on his chest until he was flat on the bed.

The first kiss was right on Andrew's chest, just above his sternum. Neil never broke eye contact when he pressed his lips to his skin. He lingered there for just a heartbeat longer before he shifted so his mouth hovered above Andrew's stomach. His kisses were light, frustratingly so, until he placed a soft kiss onto the soft flesh on Andrew's tummy.

His lips tickled the blond hair there, and Neil left tiny butterfly kisses all over. Around his belly button, his navel, the sides that poked out of his waistband, until Andrew was relaxed and reassured underneath him. His eyes had drifted shut, nearly lulled back to sleep beneath Neil's soft touches.

When he was finished, he pulled himself up until he was face to face with Andrew. Their noses brushed. Andrew stole a kiss from him.

"I love your body," Neil said. "No matter what it looks like."

Andrew brushed the hair back from the side of his face and ran his hands down Neil's sides and over his back to settle above the slope of his ass. He plucked another kiss from Neil's lips. "I still need to shower," he said.

Neil huffed a laugh, pressed their foreheads together, and rolled off him. "Better hurry before Kevin gets back and steals the rest of the water."

"Over my dead body," Andrew sniped and tripped over Neil's discarded clothes in his haste to get a fresh towel. He doubled back to press a kiss to the crown of Neil's head.

"Thank you," he whispered against his hair. He didn't need to say anything else. Neil already understood.

[saltstudying]

imposter syndrome but ive been reading too much intro to political philosophy

Everything feels like a tumbling mess of word after word of sentence after sentence of paragraph after paragraph. Despite my frequent pseudo-philosophical musings, consistent pessimism, and perpetual overthinking (a tumbling mess of word after word sentence after sentence paragraph after paragraph the red thread that lines my wall sheds its skin and slithers away hissing. I cannot speak parseltongue so I simply watch… looking and gaping and looking as it unravels and leaves, gobbles and eats, all that comes its way), I don’t think I’ve had any existential crises thus far. The thought that we are simply pickled brains floating In vinegar in a mad scientist’s library does not scare me. Parallel worlds probably exist. Boo fucking hoo, we are still stuck in our reality, feeling the way we feel, our skin tickled by the winds, our foreheads greasy with sweat, our feet round and parched, our lips alone, our eyes seeing and unseeing. In the world that we exist, where rooms are small and countries are big, where ants are tiny-sized and airplanes change magnitude with distances, we exist the way we do. Musings of mind-control and parallel universes do not concern me. The only thing that can bring along change is revolution. But what does bother me is the credit we give ourselves. Credit evolution if you must or resort to the mad scientist theory. In so far as you don’t praise God, my argument stands. Nothing we own or do or achieve belongs to us. No achievements are ours. Everything that we have done and achieved, all the nights we have forced ourselves to stay awake, all the mornings we have spent on treadmills or farms, in fields or classrooms, on screens or on streets, do not belong to us. The fact is, our hardwork, our talent, our notions of merit, are nothing more than lottery earnings. We take credit for all that is arbitrary. We do not have any control over who we are and what we do. Not to say that the three fates carefully monitor our ECGs and decision times, but if everything we are is based off of natural disposition, if my achievements are a result of my hardwork and my hardwork a result of my genes, do I really have anything to be proud of? In A Social Contract, Rawls suggests that we must take an indifferent stance, we must shape our world on the presupposition that all arbitrary factors are held ceterius paribus. If I am nothing more than a raffle ticket… what is it that I boast of? What are we… other than the kisses we share and the things we think. Do they belong to us either? I’m tired.