#mental illness is beating my ass rn

[wishiwashihal]

I originally wanted to paint this but got lazy and liked the sketch too much so i just slapped some colors on it and called it a day.

Enjoy!

[thebhorror]

I think I can finish one more fic plus the fic for the fic exchange by the end of the year

[wonton4rang]

guys i'm mentally ill and a simp soooo... 😭 i wanna nom nom the shit out of him rn !!! why so cute :((( i hate when ✨men✨ but oh my he looks so cute with those big ass glasses i-

pairing: taesan x reader.

warnings: +18, smut.

summary: short thought about taesan w this outfit and glasses 🙏

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

like imagine kissing him while straddled on his lap in that damn couch, hands all over his body and your lips lowering to his neck as that shirt is kinda loose and you take your chances fr fr !! he would let out such a sweet sounds while he struggled to keep his cool and his glasses in place when you started grinding on his lap. there is no way he ain't blushing rn with the way your lips are sucking on the skin between his neck and his ear, he would even try to push you away by holding your waist firmly because he's too ashamed :(( but did he really wanted you to stop? we all know the answer to that because his hands quickly lost strength and just fell to your hips instead, his head being thrown back when his dick started to respond to your movements. and tbh, he would be the one getting desperated, eventually stopping your movements and forcing you to detach from his neck to whisper a little "let's go to the vocal practice room" and your body shaked in excitement when you heard that, quickly standing up and both of you getting there in like thirty seconds, you were sprinting atp. but it was worthy because you sucked the shit out of him with both of his hands tangled in your hair while he softly moaned and throwed his head back before bucking his hips up and thrust into your mouth. shit was crazy but long story short, he fucked you up so good that you literally creamed his cock, he got you from behind, his lips so close to your ear you could feel his breath and his voice sent shivers through your whole body when he spoke up "why are you like this to me?" he would gently ask, his right hand making its way up your body to hold your neck and keep you in place, so close to him that your bodies could be one, "making me act like a crazy man that only wants to fuck you" he laughed a bit after he said that and your moans interrupted his little monologue because this was the third time you came and your cunt and legs were literally shaking "look at this mess, this is not proper of me" but he would be so happy tho, finally coming deep in you and feeling that electrifying and satisfactory emotion on his stomach when you both got back to the practice room with the other members and you acted like nothing happened while you and taesan damn knew your pussy was dripping his cum and that it could drip down your thighs at any moment now. i guess taesan was getting a little freaky too. plus, you guys thought you were slick with it as if taesan's shirt looking like someone beated the shit out of him didn't give the other members the idea of why he was late to practice... and so happy... and with you.

[rexcaliburechoes]

not only this but also assonance and rhythm and rhyme scheme and the literal mouthfeel of the words because the way the words feel is so critically important to how the delivery of the contents of the musical are delivered and it's so goddamn good on a technical level and it blows my mind at every rewatch

i wanna be so good at motifing as lin manuel miranda's hamilton

[haveateadude]

i should put it all behind me, shouldn't i?

summary *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ where ellie and dina have been letting the past linger for too long

warnings *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ ptsd—it's not mentioned but it's definitely there. a little bit of angst and the rest is fluff, though. this is sweet with sad undertones i would say

author notes *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ sorry for not being active, i really wanted to post stuff but i had school (i'm finally on break!!) and my mental health got so bad i stopped enjoying literally everything lmao. but dw i'm going back to therapy and luckily i'm alright now and i have huge urges to write so. also the coffee i had is giving me so much anxiety🙄like fucking bitch can i enjoy one cup of coffee in peace?? damn, let a girl live. also i'm shaking ass to guess rn, literally best collab fucking EVER, the mv got me giggling and blushing and shit

Ellie is trying, Dina can see. She's trying to get better—better at whatever they have, whatever this is. Still, she's trying to become a better person, blend into the lives they now have, leave the past behind.

Dina can see it in the little things, in the little actions: when Ellie gets up to cradle JJ when he's crying, waking up earlier than she should to cook breakfast, water the plants, and helping Dina clean. It's subtle, but it's there. The effort. It's somewhere.

But you know what's also somewhere? Ellie leaving her. Ellie leaving for revenge. Ellie leaving. Ellie leaving. Ellie leaving. It creeps through the cracked floors and broken mirrors like the sun coming from a window. 

Dina trusts—maybe more than she should—Ellie. A lot. And it fucking scares her. Ellie is so predictable yet unreadable in a way that makes her bones itch. She knows it's not Ellie's fault. Because it isn't. Grief leads to places some of us can't reach, it plagues your mind like poison ivy—like an illness you cannot control, it leaves you stranded, wordless, sick to your stomach, knots in your throat; or like a friend, someone you don't know when they're going to leave or know when they're going to come back, if they ever do.

So, Dina, by default, is scared when she doesn't find Ellie anywhere in the house. She tries not to worry but fails at it. Fear fills her body from head to toe.

She left again, is her first thought. She left again, there's nothing I can do. Where is she? Where is she? Where is she?

Finally, she sees her. She sees Ellie, sitting at the outside stairs, playing the guitar—or trying to, at least. The sky is still dark, and the stars shine brighter than ever. Dina takes a second to calm down and breathe. When she feels ready and her beating heart has come back to normal, she opens the door.

"Ellie?" She asks, with her hand still on the doorknob.

Ellie turns around, and then breathes out, "Dina."

She puts the guitar aside like she's embarrassed. Her cheeks are flushed under the moonlight, Dina can see.

"You okay?" Dina asks as she sits next to Ellie. 

Ellie nods, crossing her arms and looking ahead, eyes staring into nothing. Dina's heart aches at the sight.

They sit in silence for a while. The sky is beautiful. Dina used to dread it because that was the way it looked when Ellie left—the moon looked lovely, and the constellations had seemed to wake up all of a sudden and they were all over the night sky. The wind was nice, also. That night she sat outside, hoping for Ellie to come back, and cried when she realized that Ellie wasn't coming back until she was gasping for air—until she ran out of tears. She then prayed for Ellie's safety and went to wake up JJ.

"It's never going to end, isn't it?" Ellie suddenly speaks. She isn't crossing her arms anymore, more so hugging herself. Dina frowns. "The fear you have… about me leaving, I mean."

Dina sighs because she thinks that might be true. 

"Well," she starts saying, "if it makes you feel better, I have a lot of fears."

Ellie nods, holding a guilty look as she looks at Dina, "Right."

"I do get…" She stops herself, trying to put into words what she's feeling in the best way—in a way that wouldn't sound mean. "I do get why you left, I just think it wasn't fair for me. We had a baby, for fuck's sake. And you were going to leave without saying anything!"

"I know," Ellie acknowledges it easily, like she has thought about it a lot. Her voice shakes.

"God, I'm not even mad at you," Dina lets the tears fall and lets the sadness and anger and all of the emotions she hasn't been allowing herself to feel sit with her. "I'm fucking pissed. And I love you, and it's fucking me up, Ellie."

Ellie looks down, fidgeting with her index finger. She sighs, looking guilty, and for a moment Dina enjoys it. She enjoys the fact that Ellie regrets leaving because a part of her was scared that Ellie didn't feel anything about abandoning her with a kid.

Ellie opens her mouth to say something, then closes it instantly. After shaking her head she decides to speak again. Her voice is less soft than it was in the whole conversation. "I'm so fucking sorry, Dina. I just—I had to do it. I wasn't gonna be capable of living with myself if I pretended that revenge wasn't all I thought about... I didn't kill Abby, by the way."

Dina sucks in a breath as she hears Ellie, even though she isn't in much shock. Alright, well, that's new. Ellie never talked about Abby ever since she had come back. Dina just guessed she was dead.

"Why?"

"It wasn't gonna change anything, was it?" Ellie answers, shrugging. 

Dina moves closer to Ellie, quietly wrapping her arms around her, and sniffling. Ellie hugs Dina back and takes a deep breath, as if she hadn't been letting herself breathe properly this past few weeks—her shoulders slump, the weight finally off her back.

"Promise me you'll never leave like that again?"

"I think leaving made me realize how much I love you," Ellie says, staring into Dina's eyes and pulling away gently, wiping Dina's tears with the pads of her thumbs. "I promise."

Ellie's forehead rests against Dina's and Dina's mind wanders to the day she left, but this feels so much different. This doesn't feel like Ellie's gonna leave and that everything is going fucking wrong; this feels like love, like real love—the type of love that you can feel and see and touch, the type of love that feels too real to be true, the type of love that makes you wanna rip out the skin on your chest and show the word that you've got a heart underneath and that that heart is capable of loving someone.

This feels like things can be okay again.

[godmadeaterribleerror]

okay, please, if you suddenly want to have a little chat, bc I'm thinking about your fic every day. I'm going to talk nonsense, admire you and ask you questions, sorry

1) You've done a great job coming up with mc abilities. I've been thinking about this for quite a while. I imagined it as a mix of Captain Marvel's abilities (how she absorbs energy and all that) and Johnny Storm's abilities (by the way, they can both fly🤭)

Tell me why you chose such a set of abilities without revealing secrets? The compound v acts strangely on adults in the boys universe, it is often associated with a mental state/fear/health, and some people just died idk

or did you just pick it randomly? what superpower would you like to have?

2) The Shapeshifter? It will be very dangerous if she shapeshifts into Starlight. Technically, you don't have to think much to find out where our couple lives. There are many ways, it's just that Sage is not straining yet. I'm just thinking out loud like an obsessive asshole.

3) mc is not like 'I can fix him', but she does. I like it. Sometimes I think about their age difference and I feel sick. BUT Ben is sexy grandpa (I'm really sorry Ryan), so I forget about it.

4) are you going to kill the Deep? please please please🥹 I know you're not going to write a whole chapter about him and all that... But I don't mind fried fish.

5) I hope to see more interactions with Kimiko and Starlight, it always looks cute. you write them so wonderfully.

6) Her healing power lies in transferring injuries to herself, isn't it? It's like everything is different with mental illnesses. It's a damn shame that she can cure Ben's PTSD, but she can't cure hers.

7) How did you come up with the idea of this fic? I want to know EVERYTHING

Never apologize for talking nonsense! It makes me so happy to see anything from you guys, no matter what. I’ll answer best I can without avoiding spoilers, and feel free to ask any follow ups!!

1) - Thank you!!! Captain Marvel with Johnny Storm is good combo to describe the fire powers, and as for the set of powers the parallel/parody superhero I was going for was Scarlet Witch, not in terms of powers but tropes. Like definitely op but completely traumatized so that her powers are a little detrimental. You can kind of see more of the scarlet witch influence in her fourth power, but the reason for the specific combo of powers is a little spoiler-filled so I won’t touch on it rn! I think shapeshifting is the power I’d want to have, but like, animals. 

2) What an amazing segue on my part. I’m not including the shape-shifter, tis one of my creative liberties. I don’t have a reason, it’s just “no thanks, too much :)” because I am keeping many, many plot-balls in the air. I will not volunteer myself for more.

3) I like to think of mc having a “you want to fix him? well I’m going to accept him as he is. The atrocities are a part of him, and i’ve decided they’re funny” mindset (more complex obviously, but that’s the best way to put it) while Ben himself has a “i can make her worse” mindset, and they end up accidentally helping each other. That's a really boiled down way to put it, but the principal applies. Also the way I’m thinking of the age-difference is that literally no one is that dudes age, they’re both immortal, and also Ben is emotionally like 29 at max. It’s still not great, but it’s a fanfic of the Boys, it’s going to be ethically grey.

4) No spoilers!

5) There are some in the next chapter!! Also thank you❤️!!!

6) That is how it works, and my logic as to why she can cure Ben’s PTSD but not her own is sort explained in chapter 9? I won’t say anything right now but if you still have questions later I’ll go more into depth!

7) I’m going to sound like such an ass, but it genuinely just like. Formed. Like I had the idea in a vague, overarching sense, sat down and figured out the plot beat by beat, and then started writing? like that not a satisfying answer but it’s all I’ve got and I’m so sorry for that.

And thank you thank you thank you! I mean it, never ever feel bad about bothering me, because you’re not! Ranting nonsense, questions, comments, theories, silly jokes, all are welcome! I hope this at least kind of answered your questions, I had to make some calls about how much/how little to say! Thank you again!! ❤️❤️❤️

[bulldyke-rider]

ok hi imma rant idc idc idc just plz tolerate the mental illness for a min so sorry i h8 sending asks bc i feel like ppl will get mad at me bc i type silly and interacting irl is so much easier for me but i know no one i can say these things to irl. but anyways whoever tf keeps shitting on gnc lesbians can stfu like your gender conforming hettie ass will never understand. it is so fucking lonely and isolating being a masc lesbian (or any kind of gnc woman) i desisted my senior year and ended up in a mental hospital partially bc i knew literally no one like me. like fucking imagine you go out every day and you literally never see a person like you. idk whenever i beat the dysphoria all the way (i am almost there cbt is a beautiful thing) im goin back to my based idc about pronouns era but no one better give me shit for temporarily choosing what is currently the most socially acceptable route for gnc lesbians. like how tf am i supposed to function i get scowled at in public ppl avoid me i know exactly 2 masc lesbians i met one in the psych ward the other im tryna fuck but idk if she’s ghosting me or in court ordered rehab rn soo. im not attracted to feminine women whatsoever it’s so sad bc they are all in love wit me and i can’t even tell my friends im not attracted to them bc they’ll be like “oh you’re lesbian/str8 that means you’re attracted to femininity kinda transphobic to be exclusively into masculine afabs” bc everyone equate woman wit femininity i am so close to being t4t gay trans man istg at least then i’d have a dating pool bc all the masc women transitioned and like it’s understandable like i get it fr i was there too i’m still there sort of. like they did nothing wrong they were just lied to and i’m so sad for them bc like i remember being suicidal bc of dysphoria but like there’s things you can do to make it better i wish i could tell them i wish it wasn’t so fucked up i wish it wasn’t so lonely i wish i had some drugs im too broke rn i wish she would get out of rehab and text me back she’s so hot i just want 1 person who knows and understands but like ughhhh i want gender to be abolished i hate it

plz be nice 2 me ik im weird i just want someone to listen fr 😸

Girl, I hope she gets out of rehab and you live happily ever after

[lqfiles]

hey sexy bitches i’m back from my oh so long hiatus (four days.) had to do some hashtag adulting (i started at a new fuck ass job💔) but i caught up on the two recent chapters…… haechan i still don’t like u rn it don’t matter how sexy u are i hope ur pillows r warm as fuck when u sleep WAS HE TEXTING DURIJG THE MOVIE DOES HE NOT FOLLOW BASIC CINEMA ETIQUETTE TURN UR PHONE OFF HOE. ALSO THE GIRL WHOS GOING TO BE OKAY PIC I LOVE IT SO MUCH HDHDHWJW

anyway…… dear lord please give me yangyang i promise ill match his freak☺️…………🙏 𝓲 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓪 𝓷𝓪𝓼𝓽𝔂 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵

ps i was gonna ask how you’ve been doing what you’ve been up to (like a clingy ex) BUT EVERYONE BEAT ME TO IT 💔💔💔💔

WE LOVE EMPLOYED AND DEDICATED WORKEES OVER HERE we welcome you back with open arms besf <33

haechan threw away the basic etiquettes because he just neeeeeded to get y/n’s attention, talk about obsessed much 😒 I QUOTE RHAT PICTURE SO MANY TIMES PLSSSS like yes i AM that girl who is going to be okay. anyways you take yangyang and i take renjun we can both match their freak..

PLSSSS well since it’s a new day i can give a new answer so i’ve been good and mentally preparing myself for college tomorrow, this one week off was amazing i truly needed this and can’t wait for the summer holidays, and umm yeah i told another anon this too but ex friend that i had an stg ynle experience w reached out to me again and unfortunately i don’t feel that happy ending lol

[psychoticwillgraham]

had a mini breakdown :) and mom once again got on my ass about doing self care which ok. fine. i will. but i have literally no idea how to do it. washing doll hair is a little part of it i guess. i could start doing the dremel work on my dolls but its almost 8pm and I’d have to go in the garage bc of the particles from the plastic. i need to watch some stuff i have bookmarked but every time i try to watch anything or do anything that’ll bring me comfort or make me feel good, i just. Cant do it.

for the art part, its mostly bc i suck and i’m basically allergic to failure bc i verbally and mentally beat myself up for it since i was never allowed to ‘fail’ at anything as a kid/teenager and got compared to my college degree having head of her unit nurse sister, and was always seen as lesser bc i never graduated high school and don’t have a job. that’s besides the point rn tho. failure pisses me off bc i expect myself to be absolutely perfect at everything on the first try, and when im not, I fucking cry and berate myself for it.

so yeah. i just. don’t think im capable of self care. oh well, guess ill be miserable.

[dykesbat]

mental illness is beating my ass rn but we stay silly or whatever

[raincamp]

07 31 2023

i am resigning myself from giving a fuck. i have succumbed to instability.

yesterday i successfully deluded myself into thinking i was happy. all it took was wearing an open hawaiian shirt, windsor sunglasses, and blasting abba with the windows rolled down.

i hate when im delusionally happy— i like to call it 'euphoric'— it usually doesn't end well. for instance,

i relapsed again. i mean. FUCK i don't regret it, gods i missed it, what i would do to go back and live in those couple hours again.

ill probably find a reason to beat myself up about it later, though, these things usually find a way of biting me in the ass several weeks down the line.

i was somehow able to manipulate one of my friends into letting me drink with them. it doesn't count if you're doing it with other people, right? well— i said we were going to make margaritas. i ended up downing half a bottle before it got to that point.

she looked at me like i was crazy. "do you want ice in that margarita?" nah, it will only slow me down . well, i could do well to at least pretend to sip it.

its weird drinking with other people, honestly. i never realize how much alcohol affects me until i'm trying to act like im very much not inebriated because that wouldn't be cool. i slur my words a lot more than i thought i would.

i thought, a lot,— it was perpetual—about how i could sneak away to drink more. my thirst is never satiated, not even when im crawling-on-the-floors levels of drunk. everytime it's "if i'm going to relapse, might as well relapse right (get so fucked up i can't feel my face)" whats the point if i'm not gonna go all the way?

thats why i don't like drinking with other people. it's a quick road to mortification.

i've almost run out of my meds, did i mention? my psychiatrist cancelled on me too. it's honestly the best time to, considering i have been kicked out of the rest of my mental health treatment for the time being. why not make me suffer withdrawals while i don't have to resources to cope with them? on top of everything else i'm already having to suffer through cope with

for the rest of today i'm probably going to be coping with this hangover and hope that i don't die. i do— feel like i'm dying— and the only thing keeping me going rn is the weed i smoked that is slightly muting the nausea.

this feels like a familiar pattern.

- andrew

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman groupchat

Warnings: swearing, dark humor, descriptions of toxic relationships, mentions of suicide

(I did em wrong with this one, especially Mikey💀)

Baji: you know what, I'm gonna say it

Draken: I don't care that you broke your elbow

Baji: Mikey and Takemichi have a toxic relationship

Draken: I-

Angry: 😰

Smiley: IS IT FINALLY HAPPENING???

Hakkai: uhm😟

Mitsuya: Baji why do you always start shit

Baji: I won't sit by and let this disaster of a relationship unfold

Takemichi: .....disaster?

Mikey: don't listen to him babe

Mikey: Edward what's your problem lol

Draken: uh maybe we shouldn't have this conversation on chat this is a really bad idea

Baji: i know y'all agree with me. they're not normal

Takemichi: I don't think there's anything wrong with our relationship Baji-kun😕

Smiley: YOU DON'T??

Baji: your relationship is based on ownership, obsession and infatuation, love is not enough to fix THAT

Smiley: 💀

Draken: dude.... stop

Takemichi: how is it based on any of those things??

Mikey: Baji you obviously don't know what you're talking about you look so stupid rn😕

Baji: I may be stupid but I'm not an idiot

Baji: how did they meet? Draken you were there right?

Draken: please don't involve me

Baji: fine, but it was the "Starting from today you're my bitch❤️"

Baji: Takemichi had no choice in that matter

Mikey: Baji don't start a war you can't win

Mikey: If you want me to bring up receipts I will

Mikey: do you want me to start with you and Kazutora or you and Chifuyu??🤨

Baji: you literally almost beat him to death several times

Baji: dark impulses my ass. GET HELP

Smiley: this is so entertaining

Draken: guys please do this in private

Mitsuya: yeah fr this is so awkward

Baji: don't piss me off rn guys

Baji: and you guys are obsessed with each other it's not normal

Baji: like Mikey I know you're a traumatized mentally ill individual, but this ain't it

Takemichi: Mikey didn't do anything wrong

Smiley: funny thing is, I heard you say that standing over the body of someone Mikey killed

Mikey: didn't Chifuyu's face almost cave in because your other boyfriend told you to beat him up??? who is now in prison because HE TRIED TO KILL YOU???

Baji: idk what they gotta do with, this you're reaching

Baji: and I love how you haven't even denied any of these accusations

Mitsuya: please just shut the fuck up

Baji: when are you gonna tell Hakkai you used to be in love with Draken

Mitsuya: can't believe you said that actually

Mitsuya: should've stayed dead I can't believe this

Draken: huh

Draken: what

Hakkai: ....what

Mitsuya: key word is USED TO

Draken: what

Angry: why can't we all just get along and be friends

Smiley: ....don't talk, okay? it's for your own good

Angry: .....okay

Draken: Mitsuya what are they talking about

Mitsuya: .....uhm

Mitsuya: uhhh

Mitsuya: ngl fam, I don't know what to tell you

Mitsuya: like it was a long time ago and now I'm in a relationship with someone I love plus I got over it cause you're straight so

Mitsuya: this is awkward oh my god

Smiley: Baji killing relationships like he killed Shinichiro

Baji: why do you always bring that up

Smiley: it's funny seeing you in despair

Mikey: careful, he might go on a suicide mission again and then accidentally trigger his boyfriends mental illness and PTSD and ultimately fail miserably and die

Baji: I didn't fail that day, Kazutora's still alive so it was a win for me

Smiley: you call that a win????💀

Smiley: he was given a 10 year sentence 💀

Baji: I didn't press charges so it's only 5

Takemichi: I still don't understand Baji-kuns argument, me and Mikey are perfect for each other

Smiley: man, poor Hina

Draken: wait can we backtrack a little I think I misunderstood something

Mitsuya: shit I forgot to water my cats brb

*Mitsuya has left the chat*

Draken: ......

Draken: I wish we could have normal conversations

[bunni-teeth81]

UF fanfic idea

(TW: abuse from a partner, not towards reader. Also self-doubt?? Idk. Depression ig. Not from reader currently but they’re probably mentally ill)

So like- reader has a thing for paps. Like down bad. He knows, paps, of course he does. But he doesn’t think he’s good enough and gets with MTT (who’s an asshole in this fic- we hate him)

Sans comforts reader. he has feelings for them. Reader has had feelings for him as well- at the same time. And while they’d love to get with sans, they don’t want to make him feel like he’s a backup or something because they love him and care about him.

Sans doesn’t know that. He’s dense.

Reader and sans end up having sex, neither think anything will come of it but they definitely get closer and lovey kinda and continue to have sex.

Papyrus finds out about this. Him and sans talk about it. Sans rambles about how he’d do almost anything to have reader feel for him as they felt for papyrus. And papyrus points out to him that they do. I mean- this reader wouldn’t just fuck anyone (not to shame ppl who do have sex a lot with ppl, that’s just not the type of person reader is. Maybe they’re Demi?)

So sans is like “oh shit- but what about you? I know you like them” and papyrus is like “I’m not good enough for them plus I’m with MTt” and sans is like yes you are, and MTT is an asshole. (Sans has never liked him)

And papyrus is like “I know but, this is what I’m doing. Go be with them. I want you both to be happy”

So sans and reader talk it out and end up dating.

MTT hates reader, even when they start dating sans. He knew they liked (and still like) pap and didn’t like them cause that. Reader doesn’t like MTT cause he’s mean to pap but plays nice for pap’s sake.

But one day, while sans is at work and reader is at the bros house chillin, pap comes home a little beat up. Not much but enough to raise suspicion since he IS the great papyrus who rarely ever gets hit. So obviously reader gets worried and tends to him, eventually getting him to spill his metaphorical guts about how he feels like he deserves it. Reader has none of that and assures him he doesn’t.

Papyrus just kinda, let’s them help. Let’s them take care of him.

Eventually sans comes home and reader tells him what happened. Paps didn’t want him to know but knew reader was gonna tell him so, he didn’t tell reader not to.

Sans is livid- obviously. Wants to go best tf outta MTT but stays with his brother instead. Together reader and sans convince him to break up with MTT.

Obviously the break up does not go well. Also now Alphys is a tad pissed at them too. But papyrus is free of that ass.

A couple days (or weeks Idc) later sans and paps have a talk-

It’s obvious to sans that paps likes reader- he may be dense in a lot of ways, but not when it comes to his baby brother. So he suggests they look into polyamory. (Them both dating reader! Not each other!!! FONTSEST IS DISGUSTING AND IF YOU LIKE IT GET OFF MY PAGE RN)

Think dirty laundry kinda. Papyrus thinks it over for a while, decides if reader wants to then he wants to. So they bring it up to reader. Reader agrees, they’re all happy! Yay!

That’s not the end tho. That’s just what I’ve gotten to in my head.

Maybe MTT tries to get pap back, either romantically or revenge?? Idk.

I’ll I know is I need this so bad.

If you wanna steal this idea then please do, cause if I do it it’ll never get updated. But if it doesn’t happen soon I’ll attempt. Maybe try Ao3? That’s where all good UT fics are.

[pandasized-crevice]

MY FRESH JUST WACTHED KINNPORSCHE EP 9 THOUGHTS

I’m shaking,sweating in my boots let’s go

hmmm hmmm hmm giving a sob story huh

SIT THE FUCK DOWN SIR LIAR

i love kinn raising his eyebrows he's so FINE

NO FUCKING WAY THE WATER WAS POISONED?!?!

KING!!!!!!OHMYGOD HE LOOKS STUNNING PER USUAL

YES LETS KILL HIM

AYO WHO ARE YOU BIG TO GIVE YOUR TWO CENTS

oh wait big suspected tawan as a traitor perhaps ill let him slide

don't speak to porsche whore,keep my kings name outta your mouth too

NOOOO I WANTED DEATH TO TAWAN

big giving tawan the death stare as he should

why hello kim (jeff is so beautiful fr)

STOP HE'S THINKING OF CHAY AND HIS SONG IM FADING

POL AND ARM AND PETE MY LOVES

got that bitch under surveillance

ARM DOES KNOW....pete babe come on put the pieces together

i forgot to turn off the water arm please

HOES FOR ABANDONING PETE

H EY bet this when kinn gives pete the mission to spy/infiltrate

I KNEW IT

pete said i am not the one mr kinn

its so cute the arm and pol were just watching and ran back to pete after kinn left i love them

no sleeves for tawan ig

NOT THIS MUSIC CHANGE HEY

when all three are in the same room i break out in hives

PAUSE; kinn looks adorable in the picture

the way porsche is trying to see too

WE REALLY GOING DOWN MEMORY LANE RN?!?!

sTOP the pictures are cute damnit

porsche doing the jumps in the bg someone stop this

kinn please stop this sir YOUR OTHER MAN IS IN THE SAME ROOM HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU

porsche losing his mind i the bg i know it CUZ I WOULD BE

why does tawan speak in third person?

oh its the grabbing kinns arm for me,if i was porsche id walk right in between them like EXCUSE ME

DUDE THIS IS ASS FOR PORSCHE I HATE YALL

finally porsche speaks up my king you don't need this

kinn ik you're not doing this on purpose but im still going to beat your ass

the look porsche is giving kinn

what meeting?!?! kinn ik your mentally FOOLISH THAT IS WHY IM GOING TO OPEN UP A HOSPITAL-

tankhun i love you sir

not another gift basket porsche...actually yes yok deserves them

her jacket is fabulous omg

YOK IS ALL KNOWING

porsche sweetie that is not the way

ooooh i wonder what yok's way is

SHUT THE FUCK UP ITS THIS SLIDING IN SCENE

FUCK IT UP PORSCHE YES KING

porsche & his white undies man

wait are we acting pathetic to get a mans attention?????

dear lord kinn looks so fine SIR OUT THAT CHEST AWAY ITS LETHAL

WE ARE ACTING PATHETIC FOR ATTENTION!!!!!

A Y O CLEAN MY BODY kinn babes if you don't see this as the ruse it is....

damn porsche way to be subtle

YOK I LOVE YOU QUEEN

P A U SE I CANT GO ON IF PORSCHE STARTS MAKING NOISES I JUST CANT

STOP the face kinn is making when he leans in

DAMN PORSCHE SLAMMING THAT MAN ON THE COUCH

J E S U S CHRIST

BITCH YOU CAN SEE THE BOTTOM HALF OF KINN PLEASE

PETE THAT WAS DISGUSTING

SARANGHAEYO pete i swear to god

kinn you whore you liked that close call?!?!

why tf is kinn moving his feet

PETES RIGHT THERE!!they are so foul horny bastards fr

ew tawan OH?what just happened?

vegaspete enthusiasts are screaming rn

pete....ONE JOB

macau shut the fuck up about tankhun

BIBLE IS SO STUNNING

porsche tf you doing?oh cameras right

YOU ARE SO COOL your hand in marriage arm thanks

OH SO PORSCHE IS DOING TO SEE/HEAR WHATEVER KINN WAS DOING IN THERE WITH TAWAN OH

man damn it either have the evidence tawans way or nothing

CHAY BELOVED!! go out with your friends chay :(

AH THE UNDERWATER SCENE

THE FUCK IS VEGAS DOING HERE GIRL WHAT

porsche dont drink that shit please be wary

ID SAY LEAVE FOOL

dear lord vegas

IM GONNA PISS MY PANTS KINN WAS THERE THE WHOLE?TIME

could you imagine if tawan whips out a gun rn......

NOO id throw myself into a river that is so embarassing

oh hell no porsche is not the mole don't twist this around you snake

NO FUCKING WAY DAMNIT DAMNIT NO

kims making those annoyed sighs and im going to beat his ass

HE MADE HIM A GUIATR PICK IM SOBBING

AHHHHHHH A CONFESSION?!?!? CHAY IS BRAVER THAN THE FUCKING MARINES HOLY SHIT CHEEK KISS?!?!

tawan i swear to god he's such a bastard

tankhun the only one with brains in this godforsaken family

PISSING SHITTING MY PANTS ITS VEGAS

ep10 preview: PETE GOES UNDERCOVER FOR PORSCHE?!?!BITCH

[potatoof69]

alternatives for honey impact because fuck them

I know a lot of the genshin community know that honey impact was being taken down and now is back up on another server, but I haven’t seen a lot of people that are actually taking Honey’s response seriously and not like it’s just a harmless joke:

Yeah, no. This is literally so disgusting. Fuck honey impact, seriously. If you can still defend them after this, or even laugh at it, then you better ask yourself why you’re fine with defending someone who steals shit and profits “5 digit numbers” off of it, and then proceeds to throw a tantrum with ablest and racist insults to target game devs, not even the owners who actually call the shots. Why are you yelling at people who live off of coffee and fix bugs in their code all day? I doubt they give a shit about company revenue, they’re just trying to fix stupid bugs and remember to stick in semicolons. I know that hating on big companies is all the rage these days, but Honey isn’t even talking about Mihoyo’s greed or anything; they chose to target their ability to speak English and use mental illnesses as an insult.

Honey Impact seems like the best place to find info on genshin chars rn, but here are some alternatives to use so we aren’t giving these assholes even more money:

1. Paimon.moe. This is pretty much the best alternative I’ve found so far, even beating honey in my opinion. It has a wish counter for you to keep track of your wishes past the six month mark on Genshin’s history page, a page to see characters’ ascension materials, scalings, base stats, constellations, talents, and even a quick little guide for each character. It has calculators to find how many resources you’ll need to ascend a weapon or build a character, and even for friendship farming. It has a database with materials (and what day to farm them), weapons, furnishings (including which are the special ones for which chars), and artifacts. It’s got an achievements checklist so you can keep track on what you have to do next. It also has a reminders tab to remind you about stuff like the parametric transformer or logging into Hoyolab to get the daily rewards. It has a timeline that keeps track of all the genshin events in a neat format. Also, no ads at all on this site, yoohoo! Honestly, I’m surprised I haven’t been using this earlier.

2. KeqingMains. This has base stats and scalings from level 6 onwards for each character along with their constellations and passive talents. It also has damage calculators and even lots of in depth theorycrafting guides and pages for each character. It has info on combat mechanics, artifact sets, weapons, world environment, and each enemy in the game. If you want to know all the meta about playing Genshin, here’s the site to go to. Also no ads here, so you aren’t bombarded with “i just fucked my stepmother” manga ads all the time.

3. Genshin Wiki. This has a ton of stuff, like voicelines, stories, base stats, and ascension materials for all the characters. It also has lore and scaling for all the weapons. If you want to see Artifact and book lore, it’s got that too. This is basically the go-to site for all the lore.

4. Hoyolab. Yeah, Mihoyo’s actual legal forum. They have an interactive map on the site, which actually shows a ton of useful stuff. It shows chests, oculi, world quests, NPCs, fishing spots, monsters, wood, local specialties, puzzles (sorted by what kind, too), ores, books, recipes, and even heat sources if you’re ever stuck in Dragonspine with sheer cold chasing your ass down. Along with all the puzzles, chests, and oculi are also videos on how to solve them.

5. Finally, Adblocker. If you really have to use Honeyhunter (to look at leaked chars, I guess), use adblocker. Using Adblocker makes it so the website can’t load ads and therefore owners don’t earn revenue from their ads when you’re looking at the website. So if you really have to use Honey hunter, fuck them up with adblocker. Don’t give more money to their 5 digit earnings that they’re getting by literally stealing data. The person running this site definitely makes more money than the low level employees at Mihoyo so don’t feel bad about fucking them over.

In the end, outside of leaks, Honey Impact is not that useful, nor is it particularly impressive after all. They have no content other than the shit they datamined. Everything on that website is stolen info, and now they even removed watermarks and are literally mocking the people who created all that shit in the first place. Who, by the way, aren’t the ones calling the big shots about main company policies that everyone’s upset about.

Paimon.moe made to-do lists and wish trackers, and is definitely more user-friendly. KeqingMains have better guides and people actually do contribute their own guides and stuff along with the data. Genshin Wiki is a whole database for lore, and Hoyolab has the actual interactive map.

There will always be other leakers. This entire community loves the hell out of leaks. Hell, I like leaks bc I can know ahead of time which characters are coming so my f2p ass doesn’t suffer. I used honeyhunter before all this shit happened, because I thought they genuinely liked the game and it was useful. I also didn’t know they made money off the site, which in hindsight should’ve been obvious bc of all the ads. Yeah, after this, I don’t think they’re doing this for the game or the community, it’s for the money and the clout. Hell if I’m going to contribute to the thousands they make every month after this.

What I don’t like is pretending that leakers are somehow the Robin Hoods, going around generously giving us info bc of course they have no other hidden agenda, right. Yeah, Honeyhunter made thousands off of that site and tons of internet clout, no wonder they’re trying to keep it afloat. Honey Impact won’t always be the only site that goes datamining, others are eventually going to surface and do it themselves. Hopefully those others won’t be racist, ablest, money hungry little bitches. Or Mihoyo might take another step forward and release roadmaps for the characters and render Honey Impact completely useless, who knows.

TLDR; please don’t continue to support Honey Impact. There are lots of better alternatives out there for character and weapon information that you can use. Or install adblocker. Or get your info about leaked chars’ ascension stuff through secondhand sources that repost Honey’s info, bc that way you aren’t actually accessing their site. Because going onto that website does give them money; it isn’t harmless.  

[guymaito]

mental illness is beating my ass rn </3 which is why i haven’t been posting as much recently so i’ll prolly take a break (maybe who knows) so uuhh see u guys in a bit maybe