#men in crop tops are a different breed anyway | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thewhumperinwhite · 3 years ago

Text

ATTD: The Wolf Pup, Without His Pack (2)

previous // masterlist

@whump-cravings @favwhumpstuff @whumpitywhumpwhump

TW for: minor whumpee (nonhuman); nonhuman whumpee; use of it pronouns; implied parental neglect/Bad Parenting In General; referenced parental death.

----

Old Cruci hated humans.

Usually it was hard to see what Old Cruci was feeling. Old Cruci said things like “I have sworn on my life to protect you” and “Your coat is dirty; clean it” in the same tone of voice. Saren had never seen Old Cruci smile, and even his frown was often hard to see—just a twitch down at the corner of his mouth, and up in the middle of one of his eyebrows. The only time, really, that Saren could tell what Cruci was thinking was when he spoke of humans.

“They are like flies,” Cruci said once, when Saren had asked him too many times. His lip curled up, to show his pointed teeth, and his nose wrinkled, like he was smelling something bad. “They breed like flies, and die like flies. One is easily swatted, but more are always coming. They eat dead flesh and carry disease.” Then he met Saren’s eyes—Saren froze, right down to his marrow, for Cruci had never looked at him like that before—and narrowed his violet eyes. “You have seen flies, pup. Then you need never see a human. One is as good as the other. Do not ask of this again.”

That had made Saren relax, a little. Old Cruci said “do not ask of this again” often enough that it was no longer frightening. In fact, it might be that Cruci said “do not ask of this again” more often than he said anything else, at least to Saren.

Saren had reasons to hate humans, too. He was small when the Betrayer slew the Great Wolf, and burned the old Den to the ground. He never met the man himself. But Saren remembered the Great Wolf—remembered the Great Wolf’s dimpled smile and bright easy laugh; remembered clinging to the Great Wolf’s back as they ran through the trees, faster than lightning; remembered riding on the Great Wolf’s shoulders and the smell of the Great Wolf’s pelt when he carried Saren, half asleep, to bed. Saren knew what humans had taken from the Wolves, and what the Betrayer had taken from him, as well.

But Saren remembered the Great Wolf, and he knew that his father would not wish him to hate a people he had never seen.

So he didn’t ask Old Cruci where the humans lived, or whether he could go, and see them for himself. Cruci was not his father; Cruci could not decide who Saren would hate. And, anyway, Cruci had said himself that Saren was not to ask him of humans again.

Saren didn’t realize until after the iron-tipped arrow had torn into his shoulder that since he had not told Cruci where he was going, all the promises in the world would not let Old Cruci come and save him, now.

The human den was like nothing Saren had ever seen before—huge and labyrinthine, a thousand times more than the caves around the Wolf Den, which he had thought himself so clever for mastering. And Old Cruci was right about at least one thing: there were too many humans. He must have seen a hundred of them, by now, and more every time he turned a corner, and at least a dozen carrying weapons, and running after him now, and shouting in a language he did not understand.

Saren was a Wolf, on of Those That Chase, he should have been able to leave all these men in their clanging armor behind in an instant. But the arrow was tipped in iron, and his shoulder still burned, even though he had pulled it out, and now his feet were clumsy and slow, and he could not stop even long enough to pull his pelt back around him and be a proper Wolf again. And he was entirely lost, now, with no idea which way was back to the gate, or even where the wall was; and he couldn’t scale it now, not before they could all reload their bows, and—

There was a human in the middle of the road. Saren barreled into it at full speed, landing on the dirt in a heap, then scrambled to gather up his pelt and turned, ran through the first open door he saw.

The building was empty, thank all Fathers. There were boxes, made of wood, scattered around, mainly empty, though a few had straw or bits of canvas or ceramic in them. Saren found one, tipped over on its side, that was just bigger than himself—in this shape, anyway, which was a little smaller—and folded himself into it. He pulled his pelt around his shoulders, wanting to be in his own shape again—to have his proper teeth and claws at least—but the box was too small; there was no room to sink into his pelt and change back.

Outside, a harsh voice barked an order Saren didn’t understand. A softer voice followed it. Saren curled tightly in on himself and covered his head with both hands, tucked his face into his pelt.

As though that would help. He was the son of the Great Wolf, and ought to rise to meet them. Even this many humans would not have overwhelmed his father—the Betrayer had done it only through lies and trickery. Old Cruci would see this many humans and roll his eyes and burn them all to ash.

The humans clattered in their armor, yelling again.

At least Old Cruci wasn’t here to see him cry, he thought.

It was strangely quiet, then, for a little two long. The box was very small; Saren had the mad thought that humans must have been cruel after all, to leave him here to get cramp before they took his head and put it on their coat of arms.

Then the building’s door creaked quietly open, and Saren heard the faint noise of bare feet on the packed-earth floor.

He still didn’t understand the voice that called out. But it was quiet, soft with dry-rusted edges; not very like the soldiers’ terrifying barks at all.

Then, after a moment, the same voice cleared its throat, and called softly, “Little Demon? Are you here?”

Saren had understood not one word since he had come to the humans’ den, but this was clear as day. He jumped, a little, and tapped his head lightly against the box, and then its lid slid free and slapped loudly against the floor, kicking up a cloud of dust, which made Saren cough.

Saren froze.

There was a pause, and then the bare foot steps approached, light and slow. Saren tried to fold himself even further into the box, but there was nowhere left to go. He wrapped his pelt around his shoulders, and bared his teeth, ready to bite.

The human knelt in front of Saren’s box. It did not step as close as he had feared. There was room to run past it, even, if he dared.

Saren stared at it.

It wasn’t the littlest human he had seen—right at the beginning, when he was clinging to the top of the wall around the human den, he had seen two humans littler than him, colored like Cruci with black hair and brown skin, heads bent together, laughing. This human was taller, and older—though not much, Saren reminded himself, since humans aged so much like flies—and colored different, with messy yellow hair cropped short, and pale pinkish skin, torn and red in places. It was taller, but a thousand times thinner, swimming in spun-cloth clothes far to big for its narrow sharp-boned frame.

Its pale skeleton’s face went soft the moment it could see Saren in the darkness. A sword hung at its hip, but the hand it held out toward Saren was empty.

“Hello, little one,” the human said softly, and smiled.

----

The demon, visible mainly as a pair of shiny cat-eyes, stared out of the crate at the boy called Will.

“…you speak human,” it said after a moment. Will almost laughed.

It was a child’s voice, clear enough. And it had looked like a child, out on the street. And it had left a little trail of blood inside this empty storefront. Will could just see the shape of it, now, curled with its knees to its chest, like a child hiding in a closet.

The thought of it made his chest ache.

“Here, little one,” he said, his voice as gentle as he could make it. “Isn’t that box a little small for you?”

The demon narrowed its cat-pupiled eyes very slightly, and said nothing.

“The guards are off away, for now,” Will told it. “I’d like to help you, if you’ll let me.”

The demon stared at him, and leaned forward a little out of its tightly-curled position. Light from the empty windows landed on a lock of storm-gray hair; it seemed to be wearing a cloak of matching gray fur around its shoulders.

“Why?” it said, half accusing and half curious.

“You’re a child,” Will said, before he could think better of it. “And they hurt you, didn’t they?”

The demon crept further out of the crate, in order to give Will a deeply skeptical look.

“I am not a child,” it said, sounding less insulted and more—like it thought Will might be deeply stupid. “I am a Wolf. And only barely littler than you, any—oh!”

When it tried to put weight on its left arm, it winced badly, clutching at its shoulder. Will moved forward immediately, without thinking; the wolf moved quickly back, baring its teeth—but so clearly frightened, rather than angry, that Will did not even move back, only raised his hands, to show that they were empty.

“I won’t hurt you, little wolf,” he said softly. “I—"

(Another, smaller voice, saying: “You Promise?”

And himself, on his knees again, smiling with bruised lips: “I Promise.”)

The demon was staring at him, tilting its head slightly. Will had no idea what his face had been doing. He swallowed hard, and remembered how to smile with a little effort.

“I—” His voice was hoarse; he cleared his throat, flushing. “You have my word.”

The demon studied him with open curiosity. It opened its mouth, its small fangs just visible.

“Captain!—Look, there’s a whole trail of blood here, it must be—”

The first guard’s voice was high and excited; the best-armored guard, who must have been the captain, did not sound angry either, though Will had no doubt that part would come.

“What on earth’s the meaning of this, boy?” the guard captain said.

He was standing in the storefront’s doorway, his hand resting idly on his sword, gaping at Will. He hadn’t even really seen the demon yet; it was already disappearing into the crate.

There were a dozen guards on the street, now, wondering why their captain had stopped in the doorway, when there were children to kill inside.

Will felt his hand drop to the hilt of his sword, without entirely deciding it should do so.

“There must be a back door,” he said softly, his eyes still on the guard captain. “Find it, and stick to the back alleys. There’s an inn two streets down; stay out of sight, until you see a man come out, wearing a green shirt, like this one.”

“What the hell are you doing?” the guard captain said, just now beginning to raise his voice.

Will got carefully to his feet. He heard the wolf-child gasp, behind him, but put his back to it.

“I might ask you the same thing,” Will said, coldly, and drew his sword.

#all those that dance #whump #original whump #fantasy whump #minor whumpee #nonhuman whumpee #death of a parent

6 notes · View notes

britesparc · 4 years ago

Text

Weekend Top Ten #471

Top Ten Settings for a Stardew Valley Spin-Off

Have you played Stardew Valley? It’s great. It’s this sort of farming sim-cum-RPG where you move into a dilapidated old farm and have to turn it around, selling lots of produce and turning a tidy profit. But as well as tilling soil and milking goats, you also have to mosey on down to the local village, befriend the curious townsfolk, repair the battered old community centre, and eventually settle down and get married. And on top of all that, there’s a really weird Lynchian mystery, with monsters in the mines and wizards and witches and a war between dwarves and some kind of race of shadow-people. It’s bonkers and it’s delightful and it’s incredibly, incredibly dense. It’s like a cross between a casual mobile game and six seasons of a prestige fantasy drama.

However good the game is – and it is very good – I never really got too into it. Possibly because in its structure I see too much of the “just one more turn” ethos of Civilization (time passes in days and you can only save when you go to bed, but every morning new stuff has happened or new crops have grown, so you always want to get up and see); as I’m already in the grips of a crippling addiction to the world’s greatest strategy game, injecting more of the same into my veins is a recipe for disaster. Fortunately, my wife got addicted instead, and since the recent console update, we’ve been able to play together in co-op.

So anyway, the long and the short of it is I’ve been playing it pretty much every night.

Whilst I’ve been playing, I’ve been thinking of ways the game could be expanded. Not necessarily improved, but just sort of… spun off, in wild and exciting new directions. A different flavour of Stardew. New settings, new options, new challenges. Do you remember “total conversions”? When teams of modders or developers would essentially build an entirely new game out of an old game? Happened a lot with the Quake and Half-Life engines back in the day; I think it might even be how Gearbox got started, if I remember rightly. Anyway, how’s about a Stardew Valley total conversion? Something along these lines. It’d be good fun at any rate! So let’s play Stardew Valley…

…on Tatooine: you play a moisture farmer with a small place just outside of a bigger town – maybe someplace a bit smaller and friendlier than the likes of Mos Eisley and Mos Espa. You have to install moisture vaporators, buy droids to maintain them, trade with passing Jawas, and fend off Sandpeople attacks (unless you can learn their language and befriend them, Mando-style). Romance townsfolk! Save up enough for a new speeder! Take your T-15 down Beggar’s Canyon to bullseye womp rats! But seriously, the idea of farming in an entirely inhospitable location, and farming in a way that’s not done at all on Earth (except maybe you can also breed whichever animals make the blue milk), is really interesting.

…in the Wild West: you get to be an old-timey rancher out in the West. Are you growing corn? Are you raising cattle? Build yourself a cozy farmhouse. Get one of those windmills going. Basically, you’re creating the Kent Farm in Smallville. Perhaps this could go a bit more serious and look at the relationship between the settlers, townsfolk, and the indigenous people; maybe you could try to get everyone to get along? Or just make it stereotypical and wildly offensive. Godless meets Little House on the Prairie.

…in the Vampire Apocalypse: basically Stardew Valley by way of I Am Legend. There’s no romance here, you’re the only human. During the day you farm, you gather, you build; at night you hunker down as wave after wave of vampires attack. But just like in the book, there’s a deeper, creepier, much sadder mystery to unfold. I mean, this is probably the best possible adaptation you could make of I Am Legend, especially as presenting in a top-down pixel art style would rob it of any sensationalism.

…with Pokémon: you’re always shoving Pokémon in creepy breeding centres in the games, right? Well what if this was basically a Pokémon farm. You have to build specific enclosures for the different Pokémon, make sure they’re well treated, and also grow sufficient crops and foods to keep them happy. Your ultimate aim is to sell the Pokémon themselves (or their produce, I guess) but you can also sell what you grow. And, of course, you can wander into whichever little village in Kanto or Galar or wherever it is we set the game, and have your usual mild RPG entanglements and romantic sub-plots. Meanwhile Team Rocket are trying to mess up your lovely farm. The dastards!

…at the North Pole: kinda similar to the Tatooine farm, this has you managing a remote outpost in the freezing wilderness. Barely anything can grow outside so you have to construct and maintain habitats to farm indoors, and rear animals, etc. You can trade (or romance!) local indigenous people, befriend penguins, and ride polar bears, which I assume is a totally realistic thing to do. On top of all this there could be other research projects to complete and the opportunity to expand the station itself. If you explore far enough, you find a crashed UFO buried in the ice, but whatever you do, don’t let it anywhere near your dog…

…in Yorkshire: basically not much different to Stardew as it exists now, but it’s set in the UK. I think very specifically a small North Yorkshire village. Think of the comedy accents and regional humour! This is the sort of thing Team 17 could have made a lot of headway with in the nineties. You’d be growing and harvesting typical British crops, dealing with eccentric British townsfolk, encountering Sunday bikers and car boot sales and dancing round the May Pole… the more I think about it, the more it should basically be a Wicker Man game, to be honest.

…in Bedrock: farming great big huge caveman crops! Building big rickety stone houses! Driving cars with your feet! And – of course – rearing dinosaurs. Dinosaurs! Think about it: everything would have to be bigger and chunkier and funnier. Maybe you could invent fire or the wheel, or something. Who owns the rights to Chuck Rock? Because if the Flintstone people aren’t on board, this could be a great way to bring back a classic gaming icon.

…during the War: sorta similar to the Yorkshire Farm game above, but specifically set during WWII. I guess this is a more serious sort of game, but the added complications of rationing and a reduced workforce (I think maybe you’d have to hire land girls or something?), making produce for the army and stuff, would add a lot to the gameplay. Perhaps there could be bombing raids, blackouts, and maybe even enemy spies to deal with. All this combined with older technology could be interesting.

…on Cybertron: a totally different way of farming. Imagine: you’re in charge of an energon farm on one of Cybertron’s moons. You have to harvest energon from the ground and then convert it; there could be different energon ores and different ways of converting them. You could also drill for nucleon or something, or rear turbo-rabbits, sharkticons, and scraplets (but don’t let them get loose!). Meanwhile the war is brewing down on the planet below, and eventually you have to decide if you can remain neutral, or if you have to pick a side.

…in the Shire: on the one hand, it’s a fairly straightforward pastoral game, similar to Stardew as it exists now; plant seeds, grow crops, rear animals, do up your farmhouse. But your farm is in the Shire, you’re a hobbit, and everyone else is a hobbit. Grow pipeweed and learn to blow smoke rings! Expand your hobbit hole by digging further into the hill! Go into the Green Dragon and romance the barmaid! You can go adventuring, befriending wizards like Gandalf or Radagast, making friends with dwarves and maybe even meeting elves and men… but if you do, your hobbit neighbours might think a lot less of you. Man, now I really want this game! It sounds fantastic!

So there we are. Ten possible Stardew spin-offs. This started as a fun exercise and ended with me inventing a game that I want more than any other game that exists. This is crazy. Someone make me my gentle hobbit social RPG… please?!

#top ten #games #gaming #stardew valley #hobbits #transformers #star wars #flintstones

1 note · View note

eternityunicorn · 6 years ago

Text

Elijah’s Eternity: Part One

Author: eternityunicorn

Word Count: 1,396

Genre: Romance/Fantasy/AU

Warnings: Violence, Language, Possible Smut

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x OC

Summary: Elijah Mikaelson didn’t know what to expect when he encountered the strange archer in the night, but he certainly didn’t think his whole world would be turned upside down by it. Yet, he quickly learns that she is more than what she seems, having come looking for an Original after a large spike in supernatural being populations started cropping up on Earth a thousand years ago. Now, he must help her decide if the supernatural community should stay on their home planet or leave it for good? A task that is made more complicated along the way, as his life is changed forever.

NOTE: This is my first fanfic. OC is the main character from my upcoming book. There will also be elements from my book too. So, it's a fanfic with original elements.

——————————————————————————————————————

In the darkness of night, she moved with predatory stealth. She was on the trail of her target and closing in. This predator weaved in and out of the shadows, running along rooftops, leapt from one to the other with inhuman speed, until she had them in her sights. They were feeding in the shadows. She could smell the blood and just moments before had heard the piercing screams of their victims.

Damn....

She hadn’t made it in time to save the victims. Just one second too late. The poor bastards....

Still, there wasn’t time to mourn, pray, or berate oneself for failing the innocent. There was a job to do - justice to be had.

With her famous yumi bow and quiver of arrows, she struck the perpetrators hard from the vantage point the roof top provided swiftly. There were two of them and neither saw her coming. They were purified before they could even unlatch their fangs from their victims’ necks. There wasn’t anything left of them, due to her purification arrows.

Jumping from the tall building, the archer landed effortlessly at the attack sight, next to the poor dead humans that had been in the wrong place, at the wrong time. She assessed the dead briefly, saying a silent prayer for them, before she turned from the scene to leave. There was no point in reviving the human victims, though she could have easily if she had so chose to. Their lives would be tormented with the memories of the night, of being killed, and that was no live to live; paranoid, fearful.

Most humans couldn’t handle experiencing the supernatural world. It drove them to madness, especially when said experience was negative - like when they become some vampire’s dinner.

No, it was for the best to leave them as they were. It was better.

Speaking of vampires, the human world had been purged of anything supernatural long ago. Ten thousand years ago, to be exact. The otherworldly had been separated from the ordinary. So, it was strange to find vampires feasting upon human victims. Now, vampires were well known, but the ones that the archer knew were different. They didn’t put off an aura of dark magic, as though they were created and not born. The ones she knew of were born bloodsuckers. They weren’t creations. Yet, for the past thousand years or so, she had encountered an ever increasing number of vampires, all with that strange energy signature.

These creations were not supposed to exist, not in the world of men or the world of any mortal people. Yet, they were out there living amongst their human counterparts. It was troubling, but she knew that she couldn’t commit genocide upon an entire people, especially when their existence wasn’t necessarily their fault. But even if it had, such a thing wasn’t an option.

Furthermore, ever since the creation of this new kind of vampires, there had been a return of magic to the human world. Witches and werewolves had begun to return to the world of man, creating yet another issue, as factions were born with infighting and outright wars between the groups that often left a trail of bodies, mostly of innocent bystanders. This was why magic and the otherworldly had been removed from the Earth, because not all creatures of myth and legend knew how to live in peace. They needed their own spaces; territories that were their own to rule, separate from each other and more importantly, away from the mortals.

So, how had this happened? Well, the archer knew. She had discovered the truth long ago, but couldn’t do anything about it since she had other obligations, other peoples that needed her attention more. She had to wait, but the fighting and the bloodshed had only grown worse, driving her to begin searching for the source of this new era of magic and myth: the Mikaelsons. What she would do once she found them was uncertain. She wanted to assess them before making any decision.

The archer had tracked one of them to a small American town in the state of Maine. That was where she was now, trying to find one of the vampire siblings she had heard so much about over the last thousand years every time she returned to the human realm. The place was so tiny and unassuming, just some hick town that it made her wonder how any vampire could hide there without someone noticing.

Unless, they were being compelled to overlook the presence of vampires.

A dirty trick, but an effective one, to say the least.

Suddenly, there was the appearance of another person directly behind her. She could tell that it was another vampire by the signature. She didn’t move. Thousands of years of fighting in battles and wars had molded her to know exact when to attack when snuck up upon. So, she remained perfectly still, knowing that she could outmaneuver whomever has dared to come.

“You’re the one that’s been looking for my siblings and I,” called a smooth voice, slightly accented baritone.

So, one of them had come out into the open. At last.

“Aye,” she replied, still unmoving, not even to turn and look at the Mikaelson.

“I’ve heard about you,” he told her. “I’ve seen the aftermath of an encounter with you. Your arrows have a strange magic, none of my witches can say what it is or where it comes from. All they say is that it’s of the gods.” He gave a slight scoff at that last bit, “So, my question is who are you?”

She grinned, despite the fact that he couldn’t see it, “Well, I’ll tell you now that I’m not a god. I’ve never liked such a title. Though, so many wish it upon me.”

“Then who are you?”

“Mr. Mikaelson,” she finally turned toward him, “I am Eternity. That’s all you need to know, because that’s all that is important.”

She could see the state of awe on the well-dressed vampire’s face. His chocolate brown eyes were wide and his mouth hung open slightly at the sight of her. It was a reaction she had seen countless times before in a variety of people. It wasn’t anything new, but as always, it was a rather amusing sight.

“What are you?” He asked softly, breathlessly.

She smirked mysteriously, “It matters not what I am.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Then what do you want from me?” There was suspicion in his voice, but no fear.

“Nothing. Yet,” she said easily, in a friendly way. “Just your company?”

Instead of being surprised by her answer, he seemed to collect himself then, regaining that level-headed suaveness she had heard one of the Mikaelsons possessed: Elijah Mikaelson, if memory served her correctly. He saw that she wasn’t a threat to him, for the moment, and had instantly shifted his demeanor back to his famous cool-headedness.

Eternity recalled the information she had collected on him. He was the oldest living male sibling since Finn Mikaelson was put to sleep nine hundred years ago. There was a sister that none of them knew about, but that was neither here or there. He was cool and calm under pressure, but could be quite violent if provoked, especially where his siblings were concerned.

Not that his violence was a concern. She was well equipped to handle such things.

Elijah gazed at her curiously, as if assessing her and her motives. He was asking himself if he should trust her. She could see the question in those rather pretty eyes of his. But, trust didn’t matter. She wasn’t looking to be a trusted friend. She was only seeking to gain all the facts about the Mikaelsons, and the rest of the supernatural community, so that she could decide what to do about the new breed of supernatural on Earth. Nothing more and nothing less. Even so, he had no reason not to trust her or she him in that moment, because they weren’t looking to be enemies, not yet anyway.

Finally, after a quick moment of quiet consideration, he conceded to her request. “Well unfortunately, there isn’t much in the way of fine dinning around here, but I do know a little diner near by. We can go there to talk, if you’d like.”

“Lead the way, Mr. Mikaelson.”

“Elijah.”

“Elijah....”

#elijah mikaelson #the originals #first fanfic #fanfics #my ocs #ocs #romance #be gentle #my fic

23 notes · View notes

howtohero · 5 years ago

Text

#206 Rural Superheroes

When most of picture superheroes they picture brooding men and women with capes draped around their shoulders and standing on buildings doing their best gargoyle impressions. Or you see them swinging and slinging around crowded streets using buildings as anchors. Or you see them hunched in a sewer eating pizza with their sewer-gator sidekicks after a long day of fighting crime. You definitely don’t imagine them standing next to a big pile of hay and holding a pitchfork and wearing overalls. (Guys I’m talking a huge pile of hay. Like the kind that looks like it’d be amazing to be dropped out of an airplane onto.) If you’ve never imagined a superhero stopping some disgraced middle school guidance counselor from rewriting reality and then going back home to milk the cows and tend to the corn then you’re just part of the problem. You need to reevaluate your personal biases. That’s right people, you heard it hear first! Superheroes can be countryfolk! And that’s a fact!

For some reason, lots of people think that the only reason any superhero would be in a rural area was if they were like, I don’t know, hiding their secret family on a secret farm. But that’s simply not true! In fact, that’s a terrible idea! Rural areas are not a safer place for your family to be, you know what kind of crimes go down in rural areas? Really weird ones. I’m talking like cow-related crimes. (Once the evil Cowcatcher built a giant cow robot to roam about rural Kansas just mooing really really loudly and scaring the stuffing out of everyone! That was a heck of a Thursday!) That’s just not normal! Don’t set up a secret farm to keep your family safe, just have a normal secret identity like everyone else and your family will be fine.

So if you live in a rural area and have been looking around at all the insane cow-crimes that happen in your neighborhood and felt that you had no choice except to throw your hands up, shake your head, and exclaim “Aw shucks, if only there could be superheroes in rural areas!” Then you’re in luck! There can be superheroes in rural areas! I’m serious, we had our interns check the laws and there’s nothing saying that it can’t be done! (Except for the laws about vigilantism and stuff but they’ve got those laws in the cities too and nobody seems to care!).

If you’re going to be a rural superhero though, you need to know that you’re going to have to operate a little bit differently than an urban crime fighter, but that doesn’t make you any less super! (What makes rural heroes less super is the fact that their are just less toxic-waste corporations in Middleofnowheresville, USA than there are in Heartoftheactionsville, USA.) For starters, you’re going to have an entirely different wardrobe in the country. Instead of grays and blacks you’re going to want to go with beautiful verdant greens and some mud-like gritty browns. If you’re going to be prowling around vast empty fields patrolling for cow-tippers and and goat-suckers, you’re going to want to look like a field. Glue bits of grass onto your costume, tape a live pig to your back, roll around in some manure. If you’re going to protect the farm you need to become the farm.

Living in a rural area also drastically changes the options for both superhero hideouts and supervillain lairs. While urban heroes might find their superhero adventures taking place in corporate offices with mysterious secret floors or abandoned subway tunnels that have become home to an evil rat hive mind, for rural heroes it’s gonna be all barns all the time. Barns make for rather spacious superhero hideouts, there’s plenty of room for any gear or computers you might need for crime stopping and conducting illegal investigations, you can convert any stables into holding cells or trophy cases, and if any civilians wander on by all you need to do is cover everything with a layer of hay and no one will be the wiser! Rural supervillains are also very likely to use barns as their lairs, their’s will just be littered with disemboweled animals and fake cobwebs from the halloween popup store because they have a taste for the creepier things in life. While a barn might not be as glamorous as a time-displaced spaceship or a high-tech cave, they are competent and cost-effective hideouts and are good enough for any countryside-crusader. The only think you have to look out for is Jhonny McBarnburner whose entire thing is burning barns and would probably be more than happy to set a superhero’s barn on fire. That’s like a double-whammy, and such opportunities are rare in Jhonny McBarnburner’s life. Honestly, you should’ve been there when he first discovered that some barns were actually secret superhero hideouts. It was actually kind of adorable. His whole entire face lit up, it was as though he’d finally be validated for his extremely niche modus operandi after all these years. So honestly, I say you capitalize on his newfound enthusiasm for barn burning and frame uninhabited barns for being superhero hideouts. This can be as simple as just putting a sign in the ground that says “superhero hideout” in front of random abandoned barns. That should throw him off your scent for a while.

Getting around rural areas is very different from getting around crowded cities. There’s not a lot of people around so you’re not likely to run into a lot of traffic, but at the same time, populated areas are very far from each other. Even the distance between individual houses is much larger than the distance between any manmade structures in a big city. There are also a lot less superheroes per capita. All of this means you’re going to be responsible for protecting a very large open area. Which means you’re going to need a very specific kind of super-vehicle. You need something that’s fast, something bright so people will see it on poorly lit country roads, something that’s doused in cow-repellant or whatever to keep animals out of your way. It needs to have off-road capabilities, because if there’s a crime being committed in the middle of a farm or on top of a mountain, you don’t want to have to ditch your vehicle and jog to the crime. That’s a great way for crimes to happen. You really should not put so much faith in your jogging abilities. You can’t jog up a mountain, but you can drive an obscene vehicle up one. That’s what makes it obscene. You also might as well drive something fuel efficient, something that runs off of vegetable oil or something, there’s plenty of it around.

Rural superheroes are also often, believe it or not, the first heroes on Earth to encounter alien invaders. Aliens just love alerting mankind to their presence through carving crop-circles and stealing cows. Depending on the species this can be anything from a harmless prank to a signed declaration of war. (Often the cow thing is because to most alien species, cows appear to be the most intelligent species on Earth. I mean, they live in their food, that’s just smart.) So you need to be prepared to single-handedly fight off an invading force at a moment’s notice. So I hope you’ve got some corn-powered laser blasters at your disposal, because you’re gonna need them sooner rather than later.

When it comes to crime fighting partners, you may find yourself in short supply. Heroes like Old MacDonald-Man or Crop-Top describe the loneliness as the most difficult part of rural crime fighting. In big cities you can’t walk more than five feet before bumping into someone who spends their nights wearing spandex and laying the smackdown on evil puzzle enthusiasts or finger-puppeteers. But in the country you’re likely to never run into another superhero in your neighborhood. That’s why you need to take on an animal sidekick. Fortunately, rural communities are a great place to find some domesticated animals that would be down to come fight crimes with you. In order to determine which farm animals would be the best crime fighting partners we actually took a husbandry course. (Ok, you got us, Dr. Brainwave got engaged and we all chipped in and paid for him to go to a husbandry course so he could learn how to be a good husband and the rest of us went for emotional support but it turns out none of knew what husbandry was and we were not in the right place but we learned a lot and had fun and it turned out that Dr. Brainwave’s engagement was fake and part of some villainous scheme to poison the concept of weddings or something so it didn’t matter anyway.) During this course we learned a lot about the breeding of crops and animals and we have scientifically determined that the best possible animal sidekick for a rural superhero is a goat on roller blades. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Are you idiots joking? You guys go on and on and on and on about how roosters are the best animal sidekicks and now you’re going to come at me and say that goats are the best animal sidekick for a rural superhero? Are you kidding me? Is this a joke?” First of all, yeah, everything we say is a joke. This is a comedy blog. And second of all, hey tone back the attitude why don’t you? Gosh you’re being real hostile about this. Roosters are the ideal superhero sidekick for urban or space-faring superheroes. But they’re useless for rural superheroes. Roosters are great for waking you up? Rural-superheroes already wake up with the sun to tend to their crops, don’t need a rooster. Roosters can fly? No crimes are committed in the skyline of a rural community. There is no skyline. Anybody can scramble to the roof of the local post office or pitchfork wholesaler, don’t need a rooster. Roosters can attack your enemies with their sharp beaks and talons? Uh, hello, pitchfork wholesaler? There’s no shortage of sharp farming tools that rural superheroes can use in lieu of a beak or talons, don’t need a rooster. A goat on roller blades on the other hand, can thoroughly mess a criminal up. Imagine all the rage and power of a common goat, but with the speed of roller blades? You rural criminals may as well just pack it in, you’re not getting away with anything with Thunderbolt Cannonberg, goat superhero, on the scene.

Crime is everywhere, even in the idyllic countryside. So don’t be afraid to be the change you’d like to see in your community and start fighting back against the chupacabra or Terrence, the kid who steals pigs. If you follow these tips, and take a moment to appreciate the beauty of the land and sky around you every once in a while, you should have a wonderful and productive career as a sylvan superhero.

2 notes · View notes

patriotsnet · 3 years ago

Text

Are Republicans More Racist Than Democrats

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/are-republicans-more-racist-than-democrats/

Are Republicans More Racist Than Democrats

How Should We Address The Uss History Of Slavery And Racism Heres What Americans Think

Are White Republicans Really More Racist Than White Democrats?

Discussion of racial issues has intensified in recent years, with vigorous debates emerging at the national and local level over once obscure academic arguments such as critical race theory. At the core of much of the discussion is how we should confront Americas history of slavery and racism. As this debate continues, a recently released report from the Pew Research Center sheds new light on the question.

Here are the core findings: Although 48% of Americans think that the country has made real progress on race over the past 50 years, 50% say that a lot more needs to be done, 57% believe that whites benefit from advantages that Black Americans lack, and 53% view increased attention to slavery and racism as positive for society.

Beneath these aggregate statistics, there are significant differences among different groups in the population, mainly along racial, partisan, age, and educational lines. For example, 46% of whites think that giving increased attention to slavery and racism is a good thing, compared to 75% of Blacks, 59% of Hispanics, and 64% of Asians. The partisan gap is large: 78% of Democrats favor highlighting slavery and racism, versus just 25% of Republicans. Young adults are 19 percentage points more likely to approve than seniorsno doubt a reflection of the fact that, as we know from the recent census results, younger Americans are more diverse than older Americans. The same gap divides the most- and least-educated Americans.

White Republicans An Outlier On Views About Race In America

Data: Axios/Ipsos poll; Chart: Axios Visuals

A new Axios-Ipsos poll on race relations one year after George Floyd’s murder shows in stunning detail how there’s no such thing as “what white Americans think,” with Republicans and Democrats seemingly living in two different worlds.

Why it matters: Such a vast gap between the left and right inside the majority U.S. racial group belies the notion of a compromise view, and it shows why Congress has been so slow to act.

Stay on top of the latest market trends and economic insights with Axios Markets.

It also helps to explain why Donald Trump still has such a hold on the GOP.

Watch: Axios’ race and justice reporter Russell Contreras and managing editor for politics Margaret Talev discuss the poll’s findings on “Axios on HBO” on HBO and HBO Max.

Details: Black Americans are the most dissatisfied or worried about the status quo on issues from policing to employment to politics.

57% of white Americans say that “the events of the past year have made me realize there is still a lot of racism in our country,” but that breaks down as 35% of white Republicans and 93% of white Democrats. By comparison, 80% of Black Americans agreed with that view.

The poll also examined racial and ethnic disparities around policing and the criminal justice system, which Axios’ David Nather unpacked as part of our Hard Truths series.

This same split between white Democrats and Republicans can be seen across most of those questions as well.

Not A Generalization But The Majority Of Racists Are Republican

OK, as current proof of my point, http://img3.allvoices.com/thumbs/image/609/480/95031869-vote-romney.jpgSorry for the long link, but it completely proves my point. RACIST!Also, it is not uncommon for people to hold up highly offensive posters at rallies, speeches etc. For example, one said ‘Impeach the half-breed Muslim’ . Tell me again that that isn’t racist. I also want to make the point that NOT ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS! PEOPLE SHOULDN”T CARE IF THEIR PRESIDENT IS MUSLIM ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!! I actually know many Muslims and they are awesome and some of the nicest people on earth . Just because some Muslims screwed up doesn’t mean that every Muslim is the same way. Don’t pull the argument about slavery, the parties have morphed and current examples are better.

Read Also: Did Republicans And Democrats Switch Names

Democrats Or Republicans Who Do You Think The Happier Group Is Overall

Based on my unofficial research and that of some of our readers, the Republicans and Conservative Democrats appear to be the winners. Why do I say that?; Well, just by their demeanor. During interviews they generally seem to be the calmer, more respectable of the two. Republicans certainly arent perfect, and they certainly dont always have the right idea or say or do the right thing.; And, they tend to exaggerate a bit .

Analysis: A Reckoning On Racism Not For Many Leaders Of Gop

NEW YORK If the nation is in the midst of a historic reckoning on racism, most leaders of the Republican Party are not participating.

On the day last week that a jury convicted the police officer who killed George Floyd, Republicans in Washington focused much of their energy on condemning the longest-serving Black woman in Congress. In the days since, former President Donald Trump attacked what he called the racist rants of basketball icon LeBron James. And some of Trumps staunchest supporters on Capitol Hill are considering forming a new group that initially planned to champion Anglo-Saxon political traditions.

Beyond simple rhetoric, Republican state lawmakers are pushing forward with new voting restrictions that disproportionately affect people of color and are resisting legislation designed to prevent police brutality.

The moves reflect a stark political reality: As America grows more diverse, the Republican Party continues to be led almost entirely by white people, particularly men, who cater to an overwhelmingly white base. And despite fierce criticism from civil rights leaders and growing concern from business leaders who are traditional allies, many Republicans see no problem.

Its unfortunate that more in the Republican Party are not willing to stand up for what I would define as creating a more just and humane system, Martin Luther King III told The Associated Press. It makes you wonder if they really even care.

Passage remains uncertain, however.

Recommended Reading: How Did The Republicans Take Control Of Congress

More Than Half Of Republicans Think Minorities Are Favored Over Whites In The United States

At its heart, the Black Lives Matter movement is focused on the ways in which racism is embedded in American law enforcement, resulting in a disproportionately large number of deaths of Black people at the hands of police. This idea that racism may be embedded in governmental or social systems is the crux of critical race theory. Racism, the theory postulates, isnt simply a function of racist people acting out against others because of their race. Instead, some of racisms most significant effects are felt from long-standing systems that have integrated, often invisibly, race-specific differences.

That the Black Lives Matter movement has been so successful at drawing attention to issues of race and racism, though, means that its much easier to notice complaints about systemic racism than it is to notice the racism itself. It means that there are good-faith but clumsy efforts to draw attention to issues of race that have little to do with critical race theory but which become a focal point of aggravation. It also means that groups that benefit from systemic advantages mostly White Americans may feel that they are the ones being criticized. If you dont see the purported racism but feel that youre being held to account for it, frustration would naturally result.

In 2017, fewer than half of Republicans said that minorities are favored over Whites. Now, a majority say they are.

But When You Watch The Republican In The Media Being Attacked The Majority Tend To Handle It With More Grace Then The Majority Of The Democrats

I dont think its because the Republicans have more money because the Democrats tend to be the wealthier group.; The majority of the richest people in the world are Democrats or Liberals.; Yet, they sure dont look like a happy group of folks .; I think a lot of people who are rich were their happiest when they were working hard coming up through the ranks and earning their money.; I also think sometimes the social issues they get caught up in when they become wealthy can be frustrating causing many people to lose their tolerance over time.

Don’t Miss: How Many Republicans Would Need To Vote For Impeachment

Why Did The Debate Become A National Controversy

Arguably, a large part of the debate has been inflamed and muddled by the activism of a conservative documentary filmmaker named Christopher Rufo.

As detailed in an extensive New Yorker profile, Rufo built a cottage industry exposing government racial awareness training across the US. While doing so, he discovered the academic writing behind it – and set out to raise awareness about what he saw as an organised effort to “re-engineer the foundation of human psychology and social institutions through the new politics of race”.

He labelled all of the various episodes and instances he was cataloguing as examples of “critical race theory” in practice, even though the academic discipline was not always an exact fit for what he was documenting.

“The goal is to have the public read something crazy in the newspaper and immediately think ‘critical race theory’,” he wrote . “We have decodified the term and will recodify it to annex the entire range of cultural constructions that are unpopular with Americans.”

The term, he told the New York Times, made for the “perfect villain” because it sounded academic, elitist, racist and divisive.

How far have African Americans come since 1960s?

Legislative as well as grassroots rebukes of public-school teaching labelled as CRT have cropped up around the country.

Because it is a concept, not a stand-alone subject, opponents have assembled lists to help parents identify what they see as harmful terms and topics in the classroom.

What Do Supporters And Opponents Say

Who Do YOU Think Is More Racist, White Democrats or White Republicans?

There’s a cartoon that circulates among critical race theory supporters showing children, one tall and one short, trying to peer over a fence to watch a baseball game. Equality, the illustration explains, is giving children the same sized box to stand on – with one child still unable to see over the obstacle. Equity, on the other hand, gives the shortest child the most boxes, so that everyone can see the field.

The idea of equity is to provide more to those who are perceived to have the greatest disadvantage in order to achieve better equality of outcome and to compensate for the historical wrongs of discrimination and systemic racism.

“A key part of the argument of critical race theory is that racism is endemic to American society because of the way society is structured,” says Lynn. Teaching with the framework addressed issues that “people have been trying to do for a long time to correct some of the problems we have in schools” he says.

It’s a view that animated affirmative action programmes – race-based preferences in hiring and college admissions – in the past, and currently influences everything from road repair in Oakland, California, to the Biden administration’s vaccine outreach efforts.

He says the idea of “equity” is more than just policy prescriptions, it’s about “abandoning the broad political philosophy that has traditionally held this country together”.

Read Also: How Many Republicans Are Needed To Vote For Impeachment

How Is Critical Race Theory Taught

How – and even whether – CRT is being taught is the subject of contention that lies at the heart of the current debate.

As a curriculum subject, critical race theory is largely the purview of university law schools and graduate programmes.

The concepts, however, have influenced historians, journalists and educators in school districts across the US who say they want to do more to teach the public about the US struggles with discrimination rooted in race.

One high-profile effort, the New York Times magazine’s 1619 Project, was a series of essays and articles that sought to “reframe the country’s history by placing the consequences of slavery and the contributions of black Americans at the very centre of our national narrative”, per the paper’s description.

It received mixed reviews, including sometimes sharp criticism from historians who disputed its accuracy.

How the concepts translate into a public-school curriculum and teacher training have become the flashpoint of the CRT controversy.

An elementary school in Cupertino, California, for instance, asked third-graders to label their own power and privilege in an “identity map”. At least 30 schools recommended that students should read Not My Idea, a children’s book that called racism “a white person’s problem and we are all caught up in it”.

Instances like these have led to what has become an increasingly intense criticism.

Reagan’s Neshoba County Fair States’ Rights Speech

Aistrup argued that one example of Reagan field-testing coded language in the South was a reference to an unscrupulous man using food stamps as a “strapping young buck”. When informed of the offensive connotations of the term, Reagan defended his actions as a nonracial term that was common in his Illinois hometown. Ultimately, Reagan never used that particular phrasing again. According to Ian Haney Lopez, the “young buck” term changed into “young fellow” which was less overtly racist: “‘Some young fellow’ was less overtly racist and so carried less risk of censure, and worked just as well to provoke a sense of white victimization”.

Recommended Reading: What Happens If Republicans Win Midterms

There Is A Lot Of Flawed Logic Here

Anyone who equates conservative or Republican with racist is the exact thing they are projecting on others. Plain and simple.Racism is simply the lumping together of large groups of people and claiming they all have the same traits. Anyone who says that all conservatives are racist is exactly the same. The most racist people I have ever met have been liberals. But that doesn’t mean I think all liberals are racists. That’s absurd. But you continue on making generalizations about people you don’t even know. That just shows how tolerant and open-minded you really are.

When Minorities Vote Gop The Media Smears Republicans As Racists

The racism smears stink of fear.

Daniel Greenfield, a Shillman Journalism Fellow at the Freedom Center, is an investigative journalist and writer focusing on the radical Left and Islamic terrorism.

In just one week, the Washington Post churned out two op-eds on the same theme, “The GOP is Now Just the Party of White Grievance” and “The Republican Party is Making Jim Crow Segregationists Proud”. The D.C. Democrat paper doesnt bother clarifying why Democrats from two generations ago would be thrilled that 1 in 5 black men voted for President Trump.

Ever since the election, the media has been beating its narrative drum with one message.

CNN howls that Republicans are the worst racists. The New York Times insists theyre even more racist than that. And MSNBC will counter that only white racists would vote Republican.

The most famous media exponent of the white grievance line is Stuart Stevens: Romneys senior strategist, who went on to join the Lincoln Project. Stevens claimed on MSNBC that the GOP, “went down a path to embrace white grievance as its core” and that, “of the Americans who are 15 years and under, the majority are nonwhite. They’re gonna be nonwhite when they turn 18 and start voting and that’s the end of the Republican party as we know it.”

My party obviously has an embarrassingly small share of African American votes, Senator Romney claimed after embarrassingly participating in a Black Lives Matter rally.

Recommended Reading: What Do Republicans Believe About Taxes

Americans Who Say A Lot Has To Be Done To Ensure Equal Rights For All Split Over Whether Many Laws And Institutions Need To Be Completely Rebuilt

While half of Americans say that a lot needs to be done to ensure equal rights for all Americans, those who express this view are divided over what needs to be done.

A quarter of Americans say that to ensure equal rights for all Americans, most U.S. laws and major institutions need to be completely rebuilt because they are fundamentally biased against some racial and ethnic groups. A nearly identical share says while there are many inequities in U.S. laws and institutions, the necessary changes can be made by working within the current systems.

Overall, nearly six-in-ten Black adults say that in order to ensure equality for all Americans regardless of their racial or ethnic backgrounds, most major U.S. institutions need to be completely rebuilt because they are fundamentally biased against some racial and ethnic groups, while just 19% say necessary changes to address inequities can be made within the current systems; about two-in-ten say little or nothing at all needs to be done. Among other racial and ethnic groups, smaller shares overall say a lot more needs to be done; those who do are roughly evenly split between those who say changes can be made within current systems and those who think most institutions need to be completely rebuilt because they are fundamentally biased. As a result, Black adults are significantly more likely than Hispanic , Asian American and White adults to say most institutions and laws need to be completely rebuilt.

Democrats Are The Real Racistsand Minority Americans Are Taking Note

Who are the real American patriots?

Who are the real racists?

These two questions will play a big role in the 2020 election.

The left is desperate to turn any traditional patriotic appeal into an act of racism. The left is desperate to smear Republicans and moderate Democrats as racists.

This past week, between Sunday and Tuesday, CNN and MSNBC reportedly used the word “racist” more than 1,100 times.

Part of this desperation is in the left’s inability to debate the facts and their hope that strong smears can shame their opponents out of broaching the argument.

Part of this desperation is in the left’s growing realization that President Donald Trump and the Republicans are beginning to attract minority support in a serious way.

The 2018 election was a watershed in the shift of minority voters toward Republicans.

Consider the example of the very left-wing African American female candidate for governor in Georgia, Stacy Abrams. She alienated enough African American males with her platforms that the Republican candidate got a significant percentage of African American male votes.

In Florida, a left-wing African American candidate for governor lost almost one out of five African American female votes because of his opposition to school choice.

All around the country, Trump is attracting Latinos to his rallies. There is strong support in the Latino community for job creation, income growth, small business prosperity and enforcing the law.

Read Also: How Many Republicans Are Now In The House Of Representatives

0 notes

statetalks · 3 years ago