#men egoisticmen doublestandards society

[wonderwanderb]

Men with fragile egos

Baffled by how the Indian mentality never grows from petty thoughts. Men here think all women need protection as they're weak and naïve and if they dare have an opinion then they have loose morals. In their own words, all men are sick and desperate and given any chance, they will cheat, molest, abuse or misbehave. I beg to differ. The moment women stand by their own decisions and move ahead with what they think is correct, irrespective of what the "societal norms" are, she is quickly bestowed with the badge of a seductress, bold and selfish. And a married woman has too many checks before she can think of her choices. The family name drama, husband's and in-laws' prestige, societal norms, children and hazar other factors. Mind you, the same will not matter when it's convenient for them. That's when they "don't care" about the society! Case in point, a husband does not like if the wife agrees to teach swimming to men. He is ok with her teaching children and women but, just not men. She is a teacher and that's what must be considered. Instead the man goes on to demean and belittle the wife and her work. Quick to judge her intentions. However, the extra income is most welcome to support the family expenses. I fail to understand what irks him more; the fact that the wife is making her choices and decisions without "consulting" him or taking his consent? or that other men will get "physically" close to her which in his sick head can make her sway! His justification is that men are sick.. all of them and will include himself to make his point sound valid.   Wow! the double standards. It's ok for them to socialize with other women without being judged but, dare the wife do the same. The wife's argument is if he trusts her, then none of it matters. Note, this man will not listen if the wife disagrees on any of his actions/decisions. Then how does he think that he has one upmanship or the authority to overrule wife's choices? Is it our culture? The Indian mentality? The upbringing? or just insecure men with touchy egos? They can't even handle their own fears and limitations. Where does this thought start really? Will this change if she agrees to abide by his disagreement? Will it make it any better for them as a couple if the "wife" agrees to the "husband's" likes and dislikes. He is quick to give her an ultimatum to move out of his house and give him a divorce if she goes ahead with her decisions. It's that easy for him. I truly believe; no "affair" can happen with just one-sided involvement. It is always from two people cowardly following their needs. The wife's dilemma is to whether to go ahead and do the right thing knowing she is not doing anything wrong and compromising her integrity. OR must she just let go of the opportunity and go back to listening to her husband's wishes and cater to his whims and fancies. I doubt this kind of arm-twisting can let them progress as a couple. Any relationship thrives on trust, space and respect. If even one is missing, then the basis of that relationship is already on line. This mentality is seen even with the most educated (maybe it's best to say literate?), talented, rich and cool men. How they treat people shows their integrity. Unfortunately so many fall short here. One can only hope and try to change the narrative by bringing up children to respect one another. Sensitize them to understand relationships without bias, gender discrimination or family pressures. Boys must not be brought up with that sense of entitlement where they think girls, especially the ones in their lives, are "meant" to serve and obey them. Maybe it's time to say ok and just move away from such toxic relationships. Maybe for once, the woman must prove her point and stay by her choice.