#meh its more wonky than i had in mind but hey at least its outta my head

[arthursbubblebutt]

Arthur felt it as natural, as natural as trees growing and animals hibernating for the winter, but in his mind, it raged a war. It shouldn't feel natural. Something must have happened. Something led him astray, and now he is left in a place where the hum under his skin gently brushes the surface.

The smiles given to Arthur freely, the mischievous eyes that light the dark corridors, the whispered jokes along his ear, the gentle presence around his shoulders, ever watching, ever faithful. They were breadcrumbs that led him astray, now lost and stranded in a place he was no longer familiar with.

Flowers bloom in cracks and corners, vines hold pillars and broken stone, a cabin that overflows with greenery, and in the middle of the clearing, there is a fire. A fire so large it touched the sky. The fire blazed, and its kindling crackled. It reached Arthur with its burning warmth. It didn't singe him, why would it? He was its owner.

The fire, no longer a flicker of a flame it is now uncontrollable. Arthur reaches out his hand, and all he feels is warm warm warm. But in the back of his mind, he hears a name just as strong as the fire, Merlin. He shivers involuntarily at the intensity

This is not what he was shown by his father! He had a path that he would walk with a queen by his side. He was to lead his people and be a king! So why do his thoughts seem to always turn to the hidden box on the highest shelf.

The small wooden box seemed to have grown larger compared to the last time he was here. The box only contained the smiles and jokes, but now it has held more. Fantasies that he can not and will not pursue.

The clearing fades from vision as he closes his eyes and once again opens. No flowers are blooming, no stones being fixed that he can see, no cabin that looked to be comfortable for two, and no fire that has grown to terrifying heights is warming his cold hands and feet.

He looks down and sees the box. The box is slowly closing, and as he hears the click, he hears another noise. A creak of a door.

"Merlin," he mumbles in his pillow.

"Sire, you're awake..?"

"Get the horses ready, we're going hunting."

"What - now?!"

"Yes, now Merlin," he hears his manservant huff and puff, but ultimately, the door closes again.

That fire he remembers, he feels it blaze to the surface just under his ribs. Arthur rubs at a scar he had Merlin take care of from the last time they had gone hunting, and there was an accident, namely someone almost being beheaded by bandits, and he had to push them out the way. He chuckles at the memory after the ambush. Merlin was so frantic that he tripped twice on the same root.

Arthur looks up from where he was just staring at the blankets covering his lower half. He sees the sun's light finally reaching his window, or at least he's finally noticing the sun, for it's already high enough to indicate its past breakfast. Merlin still hasn't come back.

A tightness shadows his heart, and he feels silly from just that. The covers are thrown off him, and he stands in the cold room. He walks to his table and sees Merlin had indeed brought his food. He sighs into his chair, looking at his plate, not really seeing his food across from him.

His natural path has diverged so much after he had met Merlin. So much so that he no longer knows if he even wants to find it again.

Arthur drifted to Merlin as if he was pulled by a string tied to his heart, and the pull only ever released its tension if the other man was near.