#meanwhile Mister Fires was right there

[mourningcandles]

it's important to remember that platonic relationships can be just as impactful as romantic relationships. this will help you take full advantage of all potential relationship drama in your writing.

[madthetruemad]

Infinity

Yandere ! Gojo Satoru x Female ! Reader

Part 26 | quelled fears

Summary | And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.

Infinity Masterlist

“Will he really be ok?”

Her voice rung out as she watched Itadori leave with Nanami, Gojo stood next to her silently with that same charming smile on his, “he’ll be fine. He’s a tough kid.”

“If you say so…,” she muttered. Truth be told, she was still worried.

“Now,” Gojo exclaimed as he clapped his hands together, “what should we do for the rest of the day.”

She smiled and quirked an eyebrow up, “don’t we have classes to teach?”

He pouted instantly, “why can’t we just ditch it and go on a date instead?”

“Because I don’t want to get fired,” she answered as she grabbed his hand and started to tug him along. Gojo scoffed in response, “please, they will be insane if they let someone like you go.”

Laughing at his words, she pulled him close so he was walking right next to her, “whatever you say, Satoru.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed his smile grow bigger, “something funny, mister?”

He shook his head, “not at all, I just like it when you say my name.”

She rolled her eyes, “you’re so weird sometimes. Now, come on before our students miss us.”

“You two are so late.”

Y/n smiled sheepishly as Nobara glared at both y/n and Gojo, “listen, I know you two are all lovey dovey now, but my time is precious!”

Fushiguro stood idly next to her, not much caring for the tardiness as he was already used to it.

“Right, sorry,” y/n said, “we were just meeting up with another sorcerer was all.”

Nobara rolled her eyes, “we’re not little kids, you know? You don’t have to use excuses when you really lost time because you were making out with one another-“

“Kugisaki,” y/n said exasperated.

Meanwhile, Gojo was pouting in the corner. Honestly, making out with y/n and being late would have been a whole lot better than meeting up with Nanami.

“Whatever, so what are we doing today?”

Y/n looked over to Gojo, but he was still pouting causing Kugisaki to angrily march over to him, “hey! We’re talking to you!”

“No need to get impatient,” he said as he raised both of his hands in defense.

“Then tell us what we’re doing-“

“You’re training with the second years!”

Gojo said it excitedly as he clapped his hands together. And as expected… there was no excited reaction to follow suit.

“Where’s the enthusiasm?! You two should be excited!”

“Why are we training with them?”

Gojo grinned and looked to Fushiguro who already pieced together what was happening.

“Is it to go up against the other school?”

“Correct! Two points to Megumi!”

Y/n laughed to herself as she thought back to her own school days as Gojo explained to a confused Nobara about what was going to go down. Going up against the sister school was always fun!

“Ok… so we basically need to kick their ass, right?”

“Bingo! Two points to Nobara! Now, you are currently set to meet up with the second tomorrow at the training field. Which concludes our lesson for the-“

“But we didn’t do anything-“

“Our job here is done!”

Gojo was quick to grab a hold of y/n as he gave his two students a little wave before teleporting away.

“That jerk,” Nobara huffed.

Meanwhile, y/n was gripping onto the front of Gojo’s shirt tightly when he teleported them both to his apartment.

“Satoru,” she whined.

“Sorry, sorry. I couldn’t resist,” he said as he held her close.

She looked up at him, “at least warn me next- mmph!”

He cut her off instantly by pressing his lips hard against her own. And he didn’t let up. Anytime he pulled back to get a breath in, he was already diving back in to kiss her. His lips simply devouring her as he refused to let her go from his hold.

“Satour,” she managed to say between his searing lips, “what’s gotten into you?”

“Just wanting to be late because we’re making out,” he said simply, his lips molding into her own. And when he bit into your bottom lip, his teeth snagging on the flesh as he gave it a gentle tug, she whimpered causing him to move forward a bit in search of something. It wasn’t until she felt her back press hard against the hallway wall that he found what he was looking for. His hands moving down to grip her hips, “jump,” he muttered letting go of her lip.

She wanted to do as he said, but her legs felt wobbly. Her grip on his forearms could only tighten as he smirked. So, with controlled ease, he lifted her up.

“A few kisses got you weak in the knees,” he teased as she wrapped her legs around his waist, “how adorable.”

His teasing words didn’t last long as he slotted his lips with hers again. His teeth biting at her lips again as she got the silent message and opened her mouth. Her movements were a little hesitant, scared, but he was quick to quell her fears when he shoved his tongue into her mouth.

He didn’t like the closeness she had with Nanami.

He didn’t like Sukuna’s continual taunts and blatant remarks.

He especially didn’t like the fact that there was a possibility that y/n could remember everything.

And yet, he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Not right now, at least. Not when he finally has some time with her away from everyone else and no one to interrupt.

“S- satoru,” she moaned his name out when he pulled away from her slightly. Their mouths still so close together as their breaths mixed and a single string of saliva connected them.

“Again. Say my name like that again.”

And who knows, maybe she’ll quell his own fears too by saying his name just like that.

[am-i-obsessed---maybe]

New Face (11th Doctor x Timelord!Reader)

watch me make a series out of a oneshot that was very much not meant to be a series— anyway, one david tennant hyperfixation led to another and now I'm rewatching Matt Smith's run as The Doctor and you know what that means!

Also requests are open!

Wordcount: 1.4k

Series masterpost

Summery: a new face a new doctor and the start of a new adventure with a lovely little girl who just wants a ride in a time machine.

Things change quickly with the Doctor. You knew that well.

One moment you're comforting the face that rescued you the next you're putting out fires around the Tardis as it wildly flies over the skies of London.

"A little help over here!" The Doctor cried, he's barely holding onto the edge of the Tardis, his body hanging out through the front doors. His new voice is higher than the one you knew.

"In a minute love!" You yell back, there was no other option than yelling over the explosions of the console and the many alarms going off.

Another explosion rocked the Tardis and the Doctor manages to pull himself up as you adjust the angle at which the Tardis is basically crashing towards the ground. There's no other option but to crash so you tried to crash in the least horrific way you could.

The thing is, you crash sideways, tipping you and the Doctor deep into the Tardis.

"Oh for fucksake—" You said as you landed against one of the couches in the library. "Oi! Language!" The doctor chided. He had the luck of landing with a big splash in the swimming pool that for some reason was in the library.

"Since when do you care about about language?" You asked him, helping him out of the pool.

"Since now evidently" He said and started looking around for ways to get out.

You handed him a grappling line.

"Care to do the honors?" You asked and he smiled, launching it as far as he could and when he felt it was stable he began to climb up.

When he finally made it to the Tardis doors you heard him talking to someone. You hadn't the faintest clue as to who.

"Love, make some room!" You called from below him and he climbed onto the Tardis, looking down.

"Woah, look at that" He said in awe as he looked at the Tardis. It was quite a view though you would have appreciated a hand as you climbed up to join him.

That's when you saw the little girl standing beside the Tardis in her nightie and bright bright red boots that matched her bright red hair. Well not really red. Human red, which was more of a copper.

"Hello there" You said, wiping the sweat from your brow.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Just had a fall, all the way down there right to the library. Hell of a climb back up" The Doctor told her.

"You're soaking wet" The little girl said.

"He landed in the swimming pool" You added.

She turned to look at the Doctor, "You said you were in the library".

"So was the swimming pool" He answered.

She looked a bit confused but quickly kept the questions coming.

"Are you a policeman?" She asked.

"Why? Did you call a policeman?" The Doctor asked, meanwhile you climbed down from the Tardis and onto the ground, inspecting the crash site.

"Did you come about the crack in my wall?" The little girl asked.

"What crack—" The Doctor started but he fell, clutching his chest as he groaned in pain.

You weren't worried. He was still coming off of his regeneration meaning he was practically invincible.

"Are you okay mister?" The little girl asked.

"I'm fine, it's okay, this is all perfectly normal" He said, some fleck of regeneration energy floating out of his mouth.

You turned back to the Doctor and the little girl, content with you assessments of the crash site.

"I'm sorry, we seem to have crashed into your shed" You said to the little girl and she looked between you and the Doctor.

"Who are you?" She asked and you smiled, leaning down to be at her eye level.

"My name is Y/N and he" You said, pointing at your lover who was currently watching the regeneration energy still filling his hands "-is The Doctor."

The Doctor got his bearings, or at least tried to, coming up beside you. "Does it scare you?" He asked.

"Does what scare me?" She asked.

"The crack in your wall, does it scare you?" He repeated.

"Yes" She answered, almost shyly.

This excited him. "Well then, no time to lose. Like he said I'm The Doctor, do everything I tell you, don't ask stupid questions and don't wander off" He said confidently and started walking.

"Love" You said and he turned his head back to face you, causing him to walk straight into the tree you wanted to warn him about.

The little girl walked over to him where he was just lying on the ground.

"You alright?" She asked.

"Early days" He said, "Steering's a bit off plus he distacted me" he said, pointing at you.

With a roll of your eyes you went over to help him up.

"You really should sit down and eat something love, you're running on fumes" You told him and shrugged.

"I'll be fine" He said and you sighed, turning to the little girl.

"Can you do me a favor and get him something to eat? Maybe then the two of you can have a look at that scary crack in your wall" You suggested and she nodded, you gave her The Doctor's hand and told her to be careful with him cause he's very iratible right now and he complained as the little girl walked with him into the house and you stayed outside with the Tardis.

You had a feeling this would be a regular thing with this new Doctor. You cleaning up after him.

You could already see so many differences between his old self and this new one.

Besides the obvious physical difference this new body was much more wild. He was already all over the place much more than your old Doctor. But he was also charming. You were sure you'd love him just as much once he figured himself out a bit more, after all he did the same for you.

All that time ago when you promised you would never leave him, when you told you loved him, when you stayed by his side even as the power of a sun was burning through his body. You stayed with him and regenerated and he helped you. He carefully picked you up and placed you back in the medbay of the ship you were on and when you woke up he helped you get accustomed to your new body and he kept loving you just like he did before. So you would do the same.

You checked the grappling line and when you were sure it would hold you went back into the Tardis.

nothing in the console room was on fire anymore which was good. You went one by one checking the systems and resetting what needed it. That is until the ringing started.

you hadn't actually gotten to checking the engines yet. The ringing was coming from the engines.

"No, no, no, no, no— Come on!" You cried as you tried to settle them.

"Just calm down a bit will you?" You tried to ask the Tardis but she wasn't having it.

"Y/N! What's going on in there?" The Doctor hollered as he ran out of the house.

"She's throwing a tantrum!" You yelled through the open Tardis doors.

"It's just a box, how can a box be throwing a tantrum?" The little girl said. You still didn't know her name.

"Not a box, it's a time machine" The Doctor said.

"What, a real one?" she asked, you popped your head out of the Tardis just enough to look at them.

"Doctor come on!" You said, popping back into the console room.

"Five minute hop into the future should do it" The Doctor said, climbing onto the Tardis.

"Can I come?" The girl asked.

"Not safe in here, five minutes, give me five minutes, I'll be right back" He said.

"People always say that" She said and the Doctor stopped, he climbed back down to the ground and kneeled in front of the little girl.

"Am I people?" He asked, "Do I even look like people? Trust me, I'm the Doctor" He said.

He climbed back onto the Tardis, gave the girl one last look and jumped in, "Geronimo!"

With him inside the ringing finally stopped.

"There you go, you just don't like it when Y/N drives" The Doctor cooed at the console.

You rolled your eyes.

"Doctor" You asked, "What did you tell that little girl?"

"I told her we'd be back in five minutes" He said, running around the console, hitting buttons and turning switches.

"Did you get her name?" You asked and he smiled.

"Yes! Amelia Pond! Brilliant name isn't it? Amelia Pond"

[drefear]

Sister's Mister

Summary: You and your sister are having issues now that Miguel and her are official. Your friends have some opinions, and things finally get heated.

TW: drinking, heartbreak, cheating, family issues.

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4

Peter had begun bringing Miguel around more and more, to whom the only person who seemed to dislike this was Miles, but they didn’t interact much. Miles always just kept Gwen close by when Miguel was around, not trusting him around his girlfriend. 

Something about Miguel made MIles uncomfortable, and he tried to tell both you and your sister, but it was no use. Your sister was in love, and you were too visceral to everything now to even comprehend what he was saying. The situation had made you into a shell of who you were. 

One person who found this all very entertaining?

Hobie Fucking Brown. 

Hobie saw you in that nightclub and knew you were the one Miguel had mumbled to him about a few times while he was drunk. Hobie and Peter took Miguel, Jess, and Lyla out a few times since they’d all become friends freshman year and got them all drunk. 

But in the recent few months since Miguel’s summer classes started, he would mumble about some girl under his breath when he was drunk, talk about her like she was a figment of his imagination. 

When Hobie saw you sitting alone in the nightclub, sipping your drink and awkwardly looking around as if searching for an escape route, he knew you were the one Miguel was fixated on. But the poor big bastard was too busy grinding on a girl who could be mistaken for a hooker, so much caked on lipstick and ass almost hanging out. 

Chaos was Hobie’s specialty and when he started dancing with you, he saw a crimson fire burn in Miguel’s eyes. Over your shoulder, he kept winking at the larger of the two, seeing something itch Miguel on the inside of his throat, giving Hobie the idea that he was in for it once they spoke again. 

And then the floozy was dragging Miguel over to you and Hobbie, and this made the alternative boy smile. How perfectly everything was falling into place. 

Hobie pulled you closer, something that had gone unnoticed by the females of the group and had Miguel’s hand almost twitching. 

Weeks had gone by, then he saw you at that party and heard you drunkenly venting. 

“Big and fuckin… stupid, ya know, Gweny? And like… my sister tells me about the sex, Gwen, the sex!” You were barely coherent as you rambled and this made Hobie laugh. He walked off to find his own fling of the night and a few hours later, he saw the big guy carrying out your passed-out body. 

The next day was the pool party and after the heat interaction between you and Miguel, he clapped his hands and laughed. 

“Time for grub, innit? How bout the food now?” He stood and walked to Peter, who hurriedly started passing out food. 

He just sat back and watched, waiting to interfere when he might be needed most, which he had a feeling would be soon. 

Meanwhile, Miguel walked around and finally found Gianna in the upstairs bedroom. 

“Gianna?” He asked and she turned, hugging him. 

“There you are, Miggy! Did you two talk? She still seems really mad.” Gianna bat her eyes and poured a bit, and Miguel felt sick to his stomach. The guilt of wanting you made his mouth dry and his hands freeze. 

“We need to talk.” He took her hand and led her to Mile’s living room. 

“Oh my god.” She covered her mouth and sat down, moving away from him a little. “I guess this was inevitable.” She let her shoulders sag and stared at the ground. 

“Well, I don’t think I’d say it was inevitable. It just started before us, and if I never-“ he looked up once her heard her crying, big tears streaming down her face as she hiccuped a bit. 

“I’m so sorry, Miguel. It’s just- I couldn’t help it!” She gasped and Miguel stopped dead in his tracks. What?

“What are you talking about?” He leaned backwards, frowning a bit. 

“This is about me and my ex, right?” She looked up, eyes glassy and red from crying now. Miguel stood up and furrowed his brows. 

“This- I didn’t even know… did you cheat on me?” The words felt sour in his mouth and like razors on his lips. He stepped backwards and watched as she stood up, reaching towards him. He moved from her hand and glared at the girl. 

“I thought you already knew, wasn’t that what you wanted to talk about?” She looked up to him in shame, then squeezed her eyes shut. “It wasn’t anything much, just a hookup.” 

“I came out here to tell you this wasn’t working because I want someone else.” He blurted out and a hurt expression flashed across Gianna’s face. 

“Who?” 

“Does it even matter now? You’re the one who cheated, I was going to cut things off before anything happened with her.” He started walking away from her. 

“Where are you going?” 

“To go fuck someone else, so I don’t have your taste in my mouth anymore.” He growled and stormed out. He needed to find you. Now. 

But you went home. You snuck out of the bathroom and went home, too embarrassed and hurt to see everyone again. 

How could you face your sister? Ben? Miles and Gwen? Everything was so screwed up, so messy now and you didn’t want to deal with it. You drove home and locked yourself in your bedroom, afraid of the world. 

Days had passed and it was the last class of the semester. You’d been watching your classes online so you didn’t have to leave your house, wanting to avoid everyone and everything. The only time you had to see anyone is when you had to eat, but your mom mainly brought your food to your bedroom. 

Walking onto campus, the sun beat down on you so hard and blinded you behind your sunglasses. You hurried into the lecture hall and bent your head down behind your laptop screen. You needed this final grade, it was an important class for you, but there was only one issue.

A looming presence made you scrunch your eyes shut and curl over your computer more. 

“We need to talk-“

“Class is starting.” You cut him off and fixed the darkened lenses on your nose. 

“Fine.” He yanked out the chair beside you and plopped himself down, leaning back and folding his arms over his chest. 

“That’s not what I meant.” You sighed, giving up and letting him sit there. “Did you study?”

“No.” He answered, as if your question was stupid, “Did you?” 

“I tried, but I couldn't focus.” You slumped, to which Miguel bit his lip. He felt responsible for your distractions. 

“Cheat off of me, then.” 

“What?” You blinked in surprise, uncomfortable with how this sentence made your morality feel. 

“It’s the final, and you know your shit, so if you need to look over to me at any point, just check your answer. I know I’m gonna get an A anyway, this is my whole job.” He rolled his eyes and scooted closer to you, making you suddenly very conscious of the heat of his body near yours and how you looked. 

“F-Fine, but only if I need to, ok?” You stuttered and looked away from him. 

“Only if you promise to talk to me after.” He raised a brow and practically trapped you with just the look in his eyes. 

“Ok, but not here. We’ll get food or something.” You stammered nervously and heard the professor start talking. 

An hour and a half later, you finally finished the test, only glancing at Miguel once through the whole test. A lot of the source material came back to you every time you read the question, only one part stumping you briefly before Miguel held up three fingers and instructed you that it was the third option. 

Walking back out into the sunlight, Miguel grabbed your jean loop and stopped you from running away. “We’re taking my car, since you’re basically an escape artist.” You gulped, seeing how intent he was with speaking with you seriously. Every bone in your body was hesitant and afraid of what he might say, you knew him and Gianna broke up shortly after the fight you had with him and your bathroom excursion. She didn’t want to talk about it, and you didn’t particularly want to talk to her. Everytime you two even made eye contact, bile rose in your esophagus and you choked on the stifling shame of how you felt for her ex-boyfriend. 

Miguel followed you to his car and had you in the front as you watched everything pass by, thinking about how badly life had crumbled the past few weeks. 

Miguel’s hand gripped the steering wheel tighter as he saw you so quiet and upset. He hated this side of you, sad and hurt, but it seemed that this was the only side he brought out of you. 

He finally parked after the silent ride and walked around to get the door for you, waiting for you to jump out and also grabbing the door for you as you both entered the coffee shop. You’d never noticed him being a gentleman before, maybe because you’d never even given him the chance. 

You sat at a table inside and leaned on the wall beside you, too tired to even sit upright. He stood on the line and ordered coffee for you both, as well as a breakfast sandwich. You stared at his tall frame as he took the seat in front of you and sighed. 

“We should get some things out of the way.” He started and you nodded quietly. “I’ll begin with what happened . Your sister and I broke up because she cheated on me and I like you.” 

He spoke like this was obvious but your eyes widened in shock. 

“She cheated? With who?” 

“Some guy in her honors biology class. It wasn’t a big deal, we weren’t that serious and it was only two months.” He shrugged, sipping his black coffee as you milked yours with sugar and cream. 

“But still…” You trailed off and bit your lip. You felt his hurt, but he seemed so indifferent that it made you think again and then remember what else he said. “You like me?” 

His eyes found yours and he nodded.  “I liked you before I knew her, I’ve thought about you since the summer classes started.” He rubbed his thumb across his bottom lip, like he was thinking, and the movement had you mesmerized. “Never knew your name, and when I met Gianna, I liked her because she resembled you, but then I was always around you and I would get angry and bitter because I had gotten so close, yet it wasn’t you.” Miguel rambled, running a hand through his brown hair and sighing in frustration from trying to explain his emotions. You grabbed the hand from his hair before you even realized what you were doing and held it on your own, then dropping it and blushing. 

“I uh-” 

Without waiting for your response, he grabbed that hand again and held it. You sat in silence for a second and stared at where your bodies now met. “You run through my mind like you have no idea.” his hand brushed yours once more and you realized something. 

“You were the one who helped me when I was drunk at Miles’s party.” 

“Yeah.” He nodded, smiling a little. 

You two sat there for hours, talking and laughing as you shared stories and feelings, as if a weight was lifted from both of your shoulders and you could be open to the other now. 

As you threw your head back from laughter to something he said, you heard someone call your name from behind you as you turned and met the eyes of the one person who wouldn’t understand. You both froze, fear chilling the entire area around you all. 

“Gianna?”

Tags: @ihateuguys @spontaneousleo @ginger23 @y2cade @alex110370000 @winteringfalls @neverlandlostchild @haileycannotcometothephonern @loser-alert @idk-sam@bunnyrose01 @minalovesyoubabes @thedevax @arquiiva @freehentai @vonev @rue-ting @darkfairy102190 @iamv1n @teresalesbian @killykstudio @topreice @artyanimi@hrlzy @mikotoguilty @ceoofmiguel @jotarossshark @i-want-to-be-your-dreamgirl @arquiiva @loonalockley @spiderwriter2099 @mikotoguilty @scaleniusrm @angel-xx-1 @siidmm @tayleighuh @zaunsin @imheretoread @lazyotakuofficial @callmeurslxt-pls @angelaut0matec @vonev

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[ethicaltreatmentofcowplants]

Lee is having quite the time of it. A seagull flew all the way inland to leave him a calling card, but he also has the whim to become disliked by Forest. They do say to start with one small, achievable goal…

In a belated fit of teenaged rebellion, Giovanna has decided that not only will she repair just the one sink - but she’s not even going to clean up after herself! What you gonna do about it, huh?

Eventually out of everyone, it’s Lee who takes care of the task. In perhaps a fit of ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend,’ he’s been buddying up with an earlier victim of Forest’s meanness, Sage, and is even attempting to educate himself on her unlife state.

(Although now that I take a closer look at his face, he may actually be scheming up... something. So far everything he may or may not be plotting has failed out of sheer incompetence, so if I were Sage, I wouldn't be too worried.)

Forest has made a frien - sorry, minion - Baarry White.

LMAO he really said “fan service? Well, here you go!”

After his no good, very bad day, Lee heads upstairs for a nice relaxing bubble bath - only to end up on the verge of hysteria and have the Watcher force him to talk himself down in front of the mirror, lest he join Sage in an unalive state.

Sorry, Sage, you're still on cooking. What's on the menu? Well...

And as the rest of the team gathers around and waits for a totally normal, not suspicious at all dinner, someone’s luck has officially run out.

Not quite sure why you’re laughing, Forest - you didn’t get away with shit, and now your friendship level has made like Ronaldo and taken a dive. Lee meanwhile looks... kind of surprised that someone actually stepped up for him 😥

In spite of Forest being thwarted, there’s an ominous feeling in the air. Lilac’s not quite sure when, nor how, but she has a sense that something is about to go badly wrong - and soon.

Sure enough, Sage lets me know just what she thinks about her chore assignment of the day right there. 

At this point I’m thinking that she’d happily let herself burn if it meant that she was off dinner for the rest of the night. Fortunately Tiago and Mister are on the case, and receive both a confident moodlet and their charisma cheated up one level accordingly.

Okay Lilac, once more you’re taking over. Aaaand her fear of fire has returned. Stellar work, Sage 👍

Outside Lee (who was practicing yoga and managed to avoid the fire) is surprisingly supportive of Sage and Giovanna - or at least acting as much - but it’s Mister who receives a hug of gratitude.

Those may look like normal eggs, but as you may have guessed, they’re not.

Why so dubious, Giovanna? This is going to be great.

Negl, I feel kind of bad for Sage here. She is really having a Day. Almost considered cancelling her queue to eat the eggs - almost.

Dig in everyone - the fun is just beginning!

@riverofjazzsims @ravingsockmonkey @fl0pera

@igglemouse @panicsimss @simsfvr

(smol part iii coming soon, fml lol)

[eulaliasims]

Round 3, Midwife 4 / 8

Soon after the wedding, a familiar face wanders in from the forest.

Angus: Hi, Mister Deer Man.

Arturo: Hello, small child who can apparently see me.

Angus: Of course I can see you. I'm Angus.

Arturo: So you are.

Arturo: Little mortal.

Helenet: Ah! By the gods, we need to put a bell on you. Or teach you how to knock.

Arturo: Ah, but that would ruin the surprise.

Helenet: Oh, so you are doing it on purpose.

Arturo: Your child is a witch.

Helenet: Angus? You can tell that so easily? I didn't think he was old enough yet for the magic to manifest, if he inherited it.

Arturo: That, or I have utterly lost my touch for concealment charms.

It's important to stop by and argue with the mortals once in a while. For fun. Gotta keep them on their toes. I'm sure I had a reason for taking these pictures three months ago, but damn if I remember what now.

Elmet, meanwhile, has another important question to ask Helenet later that night, when she's getting ready for bed...

Elmet: Netty, do you think we should have a baby?

Helenet: I'm not opposed to it, but… you realize a baby might be wirokū like you, right?

Elmet: No, I don't think so. I mean, I wasn't born a werewolf. People aren't born werewolves, are they?

Helenet: Yes. I told you about the werewolf family my grandmother knew of, didn't I?

Elmet: I kinda thought they were all just really, really unlucky.

Helenet: *sigh* I would be happy to raise a baby with you, but maybe first you should think a little bit more about what it would mean if they are born a werewolf.

You want Elmet to THINK? idk about that, Helenet.

But Elmet obeys her anyway, contemplating the matter during his nightly excursion while he watches the fire and waits for Arturo to show up.

He's not convinced Helenet is right, that their children would be born werewolves. He wasn't, after all. If a redheaded man dyes his hair dark with walnut hulls, it doesn't mean his children will be born with black hair instead of red. Lycanthropy is like, uh... walnuts? The metaphor has gotten away from him somewhere, but Elmet's point still stands.

Arturo: You are unusually thoughtful tonight.

Elmet: Netty thinks that if we have a baby, it'll be a werewolf.

Arturo: Helenet thinks many things. In this case, she is probably correct. There is a good chance of it. The lycanthropy has become a part of your blood; it is how it keeps its hold on you.

Elmet: Hm.

Arturo: I take it that is not the answer you desired.

Elmet: I… I don't know? I want to have a baby with her, so bad, like, I finally understand what my brother was going on about. It's wild.

Arturo: Many, if not most, humans have a strong biological urge to reproduce. It is the lingering nature of our animal pasts.

Elmet: Uh, okay. But remember the things I told you, the things I don't like about being wirokū? And I think, why would I want my child to experience that too?

Arturo: Consider that your condition came about as the result of a traumatic event; your child would be born to it naturally and never consider that it should be another way, unless you were to actively pass your anxieties onto them. You seem to have adjusted significantly since I met you.

Elmet: I still hate the shedding, though. It makes my pants itch.

Arturo: All mortal bodies are annoying sometimes. Some men hate having to shave their beard every day, you hate having to shed your fur.

Elmet: Who's shaving every day in this cold? Wait, Arturo, can you grow a beard? Have you been shaving it all this time?

Arturo: This isn't about me.

Elmet: But now I need to know!

[princessimotep]

Tienes Mi Corazón - Chapter 3

One week had passed since Miriam had joined the Van Der Linde camp. The women of the gang had been particularly kind to the young woman, making sure she settled in. However, that was thing. She hadn’t settled in. The entire time she had remained quiet, not uttering a single word to anyone. Javier hadn’t been round to check in on her due to mission arrangements which required him to be out of camp for a long while. Although the young woman was quiet, she still completed whatever chores needed doing by Miss Grimshaw. She did them promptly and efficiently which immediately put her into the older woman’s good books. Half of the reason being, Miriam wished to pay the gang back for their kindness for taking her in and the other half being she wished to finish her day early so she could wander off somewhere just outside of camp to read. That was something she and Mary-Beth had in common. Mary-Beth kindly let Miriam borrow her books and she had finished reading almost all of them. Both Mary-Beth and Sadie were the most understanding of all.

It was late afternoon and the sun scorched brightly down through the trees which Miriam escaped to. She pressed her back against one notably large tree and slid down it, sitting silently in the shade. The way the rays beamed down through the foliage, it cast a mystical light onto the book she pulled out. Finding the page she was last reading, she sighed quietly. Not out of content but out of longing. Longing to find true peace in her situation… and to see her rescuer again.

Meanwhile, back in camp, a familiar grey overo steed trotted into camp with his loyal rider aboard. Dutch looked past Miss Grimshaw and Hosea who were conversing with him about the new girl. “Speaking of the man… Javier!” Dutch exclaimed, holding his hand up to greet him. Javier jumped down and hitched Boaz to the post. The younger male nodded to his leader.

“Yes, boss?” Dutch signalled the man over. “What’s the problem?”

“Before we get into that, how did it go?” Javier shrugged, pulling out a cigarette. He swiped a match against his boot to light it up. Flicking the match’s fire away, he breathed in the fumes before letting out a long, relaxed exhale.

“As good as it could, boss.” He then hummed in realisation, holding up his index finger. He twisted round his body to reach into his back pocket. The result being a wad of cash. Javier walked over to the cash box, placing the gang’s share inside and then pocketing his cut inside his inner jacket pocket. Dutch chuckled proudly.

“Well done my boy.” Miss Grimshaw sighed.

“Yes, yes. Well done, Mister Escuella. Now onto newer matters.” She exerted. Grimshaw held out her hands to get the younger male’s focus. “It’s Miss Miriam.” She now had Javier’s undivided attention.

“What about her?” He quickly responded, a slight hint of concern in his voice.

“She hasn’t spoken a single word since she’s been here!”

“Maybe… she’s just quiet?” Grimshaw tutted at Javier.

“It’s not just that. She hardly touches her food, despite Mr Pearson’s best efforts. She leaves the safety of the camp and goes, God knows where!” Seeing Grimshaw go a little red in the face, Hosea takes over.

“What we mean to say, Javier is…” Hosea places his hand on Javier’s shoulder, getting him to take a couple steps away from Dutch’s tent. “We’re concerned about the girl. We don’t know who she is, or where she’s from. It’s making it harder for us to help resolve her situation. And certainly, her not eating… well, we don’t want the poor girl to starve.”

“And where do I come into this?” Hosea gave Javier a knowing smile.

“She’s sweet on you.” Javier froze, caught off guard for a split second.

“Miss Miriam has only talked to you since being with us.” Grimshaw followed and Hosea once more continued on.

“She looks around camp for you, like a lost puppy. So, we think it’s only right that… you give her some company.”

“Company?” Javier quizzed.

“Just spend some time with her and… well maybe she’ll start to feel more comfortable in camp. Shed some light on who she is and how we can help her.” Javier thought about it and it did not take him long to nod. His thoughts still captivated by what Hosea stated earlier about Miriam being sweet on him.

“Sure.”

“Then it’s settled.” Dutch ended the discussion, calling Hosea back over to discuss future plans and waving away Miss Grimshaw. Javier strutted back to his tent, removing his denim jacket, and placing it on his bedding. He rolled his shoulders back until he heard a satisfying crack before finding his hat. Cigarette still in his mouth, he pushed the head piece firmly upon his head and looked around for where Miriam might be. Remembering the information Grimshaw gave him, he suspected she would be on the outskirts of camp, or at least not too far from it. He made his way through the trees.

Whisps of paper turning over soothed Miriam’s ears. The crisp freshness of a page gave an odd delight to the young woman. It helped her to feel immersed into the story she was reading. Currently her mind was in a realm of dragons who fought against brave knights to save their fair maidens whom were kidnapped beyond the charred lands. She smiled deeply at the paragraph before her, detailing how one of the knights looked down at a handkerchief his lover had given him before she was taken; for it reminded him of her and how he would stop at nothing until she was back in his arms.

“Así que aquí es donde te has estado escondiendo.” (“So this is where you’ve been hiding.”) Javier’s words rolled off his tongue so quickly, by the time he finished, Miriam had only just looked up. However, upon meeting his eyes, she smiled, happiness clear in her expression.

“Javier…” The way he leant against the tree; with his arms folded, one foot crossed in front of the other and his hat casting a shadow across his face, Miriam felt butterflies attack her stomach. She tucked her hair behind her ear. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been fine. Got sent away on a mission. It was a long one.” She nodded just slightly, glad to have some closure on where he had been. The young woman had thought up so many scenarios on what he was doing and almost all of them made her worry for his safety. “What about you?”

“I… I’ve been better.” Javier appreciated the honesty.

“Miss Grimshaw says you haven’t been eating.” Miriam stayed silent. The raven-head got down to her level, sitting beside her now. “You have to eat, cariño.” Changing the subject, she tilted her head at him.

“Ca… riño? What does that mean?” Her gentle voice made him smirk. She was so innocent. He found it… cute.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He teased.

“Well, I’d like to know what you’re saying.”

“And where’s the fun in that… cariño?” When he said the term of endearment this time around, Miriam’s cheeks flushed, a spasm of warmth coursing rapidly down to her lower abdomen. This mysterious persona yet charming and kind nature he possessed was so attractive to her. Part of her enjoyed the lack of understanding she had when he spoke to her in his native tongue. It encouraged to her bite back a little. She gave a short laugh to conceal her blush.

“You’re being very rude.” Javier blinked yet a smile still there to proclaim his own innocence.

“How so?” Laughing once more, Miriam closed her book and got up. Wrapping both arms around the literature and began to walk deeper into the trees. Javier couldn’t help himself but jest some more as he tried to follow after her. “¿Adónde vas?” (“Where are you going?”) Miriam stopped in her tracks; looking over her shoulder, smiling at him in a way which looked like she was half finding the situation amusing and the other half being astounded at his persistence.

“I think you’re taking advantage of my poor understanding of Spanish, Mister Escuella.” He stopped also. He put his hands on his hips, a grin now plastered across his face.

“Is that so?”

“I know so.” It was her turn to put a hand on her hip. “You obviously relish in watching me look at you, clueless and just when I find the courage to ask what you mean, you deny me.”

“Courage…” He chuckled, lowering his cap slightly so she was unable to see his eyes as clearly. “I didn’t realise I was so scary to talk to.” Her expression changed, not expecting him to respond like that.

“I… what I mean to say is…” She took a step closer to gain his attention. “I’m quite intrigued by your language. It sounds so… fascinating and beautiful. I only wish to learn more.” Mirroring her last movement, he too stepped closer. Now Miriam was arching her neck back to look up at him. His eyes a deep dark amber, shrouded with enigma.

“Entonces escucha atentamente, cariño…” (“Then listen carefully, darling…”) A twig snapped beneath his boot as he took one last step closer. She didn’t back down from his advances, keeping her eyes locked with his. He leant down, his lips inches away from her ear. “Te enseñaré un par de cosas.” (“I’ll teach you a few things.”) Her breath became jagged. He was so close to her. She couldn’t help but slightly turn her head to try and look him in the eye. Oh, how she regretted it. Javier’s eyes looked so intense. Smouldering effortlessly. A slither of fear ran down her spine, praying that her knees would keep her standing for her belly was now dancing in tight circles. Javier broke the gaze by stepping back to chuckle. He pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head as he did so. Ever so quietly, Miriam huffed.

“What’s so funny?”

“Your expression, cariño. It’s so…” He held his hand out, rotating his fingers round in loops to try and find the word he was looking for. “… dulce.”

“Dulce?” His expression softened.

“Dulce.” He repeated, more enunciated this time to help with her pronunciation.

“Dulce.”

“There you go.” Javier spoke, encouragement in his voice. She smiled at her small victory but then frowned.

“But… what does it mean?” The dark-haired male looked at her, soaking in her beautifully confused expression not long before turning on his heel to head back towards camp. Just before she could retaliate, Javier responded.

“I’ll tell you… if you eat with me back at camp.” Once more he looked at her. This time his expression was no longer playful. It was stern yet somewhat pleading. Miriam looked down, being reminded of why she didn’t feel comfortable to eat. She could not explain why to him, in fear of what he would think of her. Yet all her worries seemed to disappear when she noticed his hand outstretched to her. “Toma mi mano.” (“Take my hand.”) For the first time, she unknowingly understood what he meant by his words. Miriam placed her hand in his where his tanned fingers wrapped around her slender ones. He gave it the faintest of squeezes before pulling her along behind him.

The two of them made it back to camp where Mr Pearson had just placed his big stew pot down – ready for the gang members to help themselves to. There was no disorderly rush, just a couple members at a time, at random intervals going for their share of food. Javier guided Miriam over to the empty table and there he left her so he could grab her a bowl of stew. She tucked her hair behind her ears, feeling somewhat nervous for reasons she still didn’t wish to share. By the time she sat down, Javier had returned with a bowl for himself and one for her.

“Here.” He placed it front of her. “It’s not the best, but Pearson does his best.” Miriam delicately scooped up a spoonful and stared at it. Javier watched from the corner of his eye, starting on his own bowl. Trying her best to overcome her mental battle, she placed her lips around the spoon and swallowed the liquid. A narrow smile tugged at Javier’s lips. “Dulce… it means ‘sweet’.” The educational moment warmed Miriam’s heart, taking another mouthful whilst she smiled to herself. Javier in turn found her reaction so charming.

“Sweet, hm? Like… honey sort of sweet?” She responded.

“Uh… yes. Yes. Helps describe a lot of pleasant things.”

‘Oh God…’ Miriam thought to herself, feeling that warm rush return to her lower abdomen. Why did he have to say things like that? In a way that could make any person swoon. She cleared her throat, trying to focus back on her food. “How would you describe this, then?” She asked, referring to Pearson’s food which was clearly not pleasant. Javier leant back in his chair and shrugged looking down at the bowl.

“Comestible.” The young woman smirked at him, awaiting his elaboration. He looked at her completely serious, an almost blank expression. “Edible.” Then something unexpected happened. She found herself truly laughing, out loud. It caught a few of the gang member’s attention. In particular, Mr Pearson, who put a hand on his hip, scowling.

“Something funny?” Javier raised his hand, shaking it in defence as he called over to him.

“No, no, Mister Pearson! The food is good!” Another bubble of laughter erupted from within the newcomer. The camp’s chef grumbled something under his breath as he continued working at his station. Miriam’s laugh made Javier smile from ear to ear. It was quite a dirty laugh; unlike anything he had ever heard before. He liked it. “Was it something I said?” The young woman brought her index fingers to her eyes, wiping away the tears which prickled her waterline.

“It’s just how you said it.”

“How did I say it?”

“You said it so serious! Like you were so…” More laughter escaped her which resulted in her now holding her belly, a painful stitch beginning to form. “Stop it!” The laughter began to hurt, yet she still couldn’t cease the action. “Please!” The more she thought about how Javier looked when he said it, the funnier it got.

From a distance, Hosea looked up from his newspaper; seeing the pair enjoying each other’s company. His own grin gracing his features. He shook his head, flipping over to the next page. Hosea was usually right about these things and it seemed he had resolved the situation quickly.

Finally, Miriam calmed down, fanning herself to cool off. Javier rose an eyebrow, looking smug at the chaos he caused at the table. “You okay?”

“Yes. I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t apologise. It was nice to hear.” Not wanting herself to be embarrassed any further, she placed down the spoon back into the bowl and excused herself from the table. She failed to eat all of it, but it was progress. Miriam took her bowl away to go wash up and Javier followed behind with his own. She offered to take it for him but he insisted on helping her. The raven-head rolled his white sleeves up, exposing his muscular forearms. Miriam couldn’t help but notice how well dressed he was. His black waistcoat hugged onto his body, exposing how broad and wide his chest was from underneath. In addition, the way his ebony locks fell down his face, just exposing the slit across his eyebrow and chiselled cheeks. The man was beautiful. She pondered on the thought of how lucky she felt to have been saved by him. He could have easily tried to have his own way with her after killing that O’Driscoll, but instead he showed her kindness which she thought did not exist.

Finishing the washing up, Javier shook his hands above the tub to get rid of any excess water. “Right, that should be it.” Snapping back into reality, Miriam swiftly dried her hands with a towel and headed over to her tent. Once she retrieved what she needed from her tent, the young woman returned to Javier.

“Before you go… I wanted to return this.” With both her hands, she offered back Javier’s neatly folded poncho. “There was a small rip in the back so I fixed it for you.” Javier gently took the material from her and unfolded the poncho to look at her patchwork. She had done a good job. It looked as though there was no obvious repair at all. His heart clenched at the thought of her sitting on some tree somewhere with a needle and thread in her hand, trying to fix something that was dear to him. He looked at her with warmth and gratitude.

“Thank you, Miriam.” There was a comfortable silence between the two. Before it got too long, Miriam pointed over to the ladies.

“I better go see if they need help.” Javier nodded. Shyly she smiled. “I’ll see you later.”

“Hasta luego.” (“See you later.”) The male took a second to process that afternoon’s events and he turned on his heel to walk away. Javier noticed Miriam had left her book on the table. He picked it up and contemplated returning it to her now or later. He held it tighter, deciding later would be best as it would give him another excuse to see her. Javier continued walking. He didn’t know where he was going to walk off to, but he knew he needed time to think. Upon passing, Hosea popped down his newspaper, still sat with one leg crossed on his seat.

“How’d it go?” The older man asked nonchalantly. Being lost in his own thoughts, Javier unknowingly ignored Hosea’s question and kept walking. He didn’t even realise Hosea was trying to speak to him. The elder shook his head, smiling. He licked his thumb to help turn another page of the paper. “Ah… young love.”

Previous Chapter ~*~ Next Chapter

[mannylikessims]

The True Story of the Villareal Family [1.2]

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The Von Haunt Estate is a wonderful tourist destination for families, and Jacques couldn’t be happier to finally be away from his.

With his annoying kids out of the way until their secret meeting tonight, Jacques could get back to his second-favorite hobby:

Playing chess,

-while in cosplay. And, miraculously, he wasn’t the only Sim in Windenburg with this hobby. There was a whole club devoted to it.

The suit was stifling hot, you could barely breathe in it, and it was very hard to see the chess pieces, but Jacques loved it nonetheless. And, it was more socially acceptable than his other favorite hobby, murder.

Tonight, Jacques would have to work (they say evil never sleeps, and neither do level 9 criminals in the criminal career), but for now, he had the whole afternoon to play chess in his clinkity-clankity suit of armor.

───────────────✦───────────────

Meanwhile, Luna and Lady Mimsy were getting along like peanut butter and jelly.

She was just teaching the ghost how to slide into someone’s DMs when a voice startled them.

“Ghost!” shouted the voice, muffled by the suit of armor. “Go away, ghost! You leave her alone!”

Luna burst out laughing. “Relax! Mimsy’s, like, not even a little scary. And we’re besties, actually.”

“…besties?” said Mimsy.

“It means we’re BFFLs,” explained Luna.

“…biffles?”

The figure in the suit stiffened. “Well, I uh, thought you were maybe in trouble. Do you always laugh at people trying to help you?”

“Only when they’re wearing costumes from a Halloween store,” she retorted. “But thanks for the noble gesture.”

“Hey now, this is custom-tailored plate armor.” Was it just Luna or did this knight sound cheeky?

“Okay, nerd.”

“Yo, I am not a nerd. You’re the nerd.”

“Said the person wearing a custom-made knight outfit.” Her mouth twitched with a smile. Two could be cheeky.

She searched the face of the suit for a reaction, but couldn’t see anything behind the visor. She could swear the knight wasn’t taking their eyes off her, though.

Behind her, Luna heard Mimsy suppress a giggle. “Well, I must attend to some ghostly business, bestie. Have fun with your knight in shining armor!”

“Wait, I’m not looking for like, a savior or anything,” she said, but Mimsy had already floated away. Luna placed a hand on her hip.

The knight tutted, shaking their head. “And here I thought you were just a nice, boring girl.”

Luna narrowed her eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just saying, you’re not what I expected. I didn’t know a pretty, popular girl like you could be so savage.”

“Well, I’m full of surprises,” said Luna with another coy smile. She didn’t know who was in this knight suit, but they certainly had her attention. And it didn’t escape her notice that they had called her pretty.

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“Hey Mister.”

Max had found his own ghost to talk to, a translucent figure standing at an easel.

The ghost of Lord Bernard turned, tensing as he saw Max. “Yes, child?” he said.

“Is that your art?” said Max, pointing at the piece on the easel.

The ghost raised his eyebrows, but then puffed his chest up proudly. “Why yes, it’s only half-finished, but-"

“I now see why you killed yourself.”

Bernard stood frozen in shock for a brief second, then descended upon the child like a raging tempest.

“Listen here, you little ratbag,” he spat. “It was an accident.”

“Yeah, right,” said Max.

“The fire was never supposed to spread-“

“The painting you threw into the fireplace was waaay too big to fit in there and you knew it. Of course you knew the fire would spread.”

Bernard spluttered in shock.

“Ooh, burn!” said Max. “Literally! Haha!”

And the more Bernard quivered with rage, the more Max grinned.

───────────────✦───────────────

Just past the seething ghost, over the railing and below the walkway, lay a vast collection of hedges, and within those hedges, a certain teenager was lost.

Hugo checked his Voidcritter Go! app on his phone.

“Let’s see, this is where I found the Dicoatl, which means I want to turn right to get out of here – wait, there’s no right-"

The sky was darkening, Hugo’s stomach was growling, and he was pretty sure he’d passed this spot of hedges before. And he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being watched.

“Oh plum,” he said to himself, getting worried. “I gotta get to Dad’s Family Fun Day, but I’m all mixed up now…”

───────────────✦───────────────

Luna was still with the knight who had “saved” her from Mimsy’s ghost. Somehow, the entire afternoon had slipped away while they were talking.

“So, why were you so aggressive towards Mimsy? Are you afraid of ghosts or something?”

“No!” said the knight quickly. “And I’m not aggressive. I’m tough. I don’t want anybody messing with people I care about.”

“So you saw me and decided you cared about me? That’s why you were acting tough?”

“No,” said the knight, a little too quickly again. “You know, just because you act like a princess doesn’t mean every knight is fawning over you.”

Luna paused, frowning for a brief moment, before slyly raising a finger to the knight’s helmet.

“So, who is my tough knight in shining armor who doesn’t care about me?” she said, slowly lifting their visor,

but the knight stepped back before she could reveal their face. “H-hey! Hands off the suit, princess,” they stammered.

Luna doubled over giggling. “You said you didn’t care about me, but suddenly you’re too shy to show me your face?” She straightened back up, still giggling, and handed the knight something.

“Here,” she said. “Because I like you even though you’re shy.”

“Uh, what?” The knight stood there, flustered, holding Luna’s phone.

“I’m asking for your number, genius. It’s almost nightfall and I have to go.”

“Oh!” If the knight was blushing, Luna couldn’t tell. They struggled to enter their number on her phone with their clunky metal fingers, finally handing it back after several painstaking minutes.

“There you go. Don’t text me anything too savage, princess. Or do.”

Luna wondered if the knight was smiling.

She giggled. “Goodbye, my knight in shining armor.” Luna blew them a kiss, betting it would send them weak in the knees,

and she was right.

“Bye, princess…”

Luna sauntered away, butterflies tingling in her stomach.

As she walked off into the sunset, she could barely concentrate on her Family Fun Day obligations. All she could think about was her mysterious knight in shining armor.

───────────────✦───────────────

While Luna was making friends, Max was making enemies.

It was official now: The ghost of Lord Bernard Escargot Shallot IV was afraid of a 10-year-old.

When the sun started to set, Max finally walked away from his new enemy, triumphant.

It was Max: 1, Bernard: 0.

───────────────✦───────────────

But the day wasn’t over yet, and Jacques was waiting for his children. The real work of Family Fun Day was just about to begin.

───────────────✦───────────────

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[funtomfactory]

A Kuroshitsuji Christmas

A little Black Butler Christmas thing I threw together, enjoy!

Sebastian: *narrates* It was Boxing Day, late 19th century. Just outside of London, UK, lay the grand Phantomhive manor. Its rooftops were decorated with a sheet of white snow, and its windows shimmered with light coming from within. All of the household was in high spirits; the maid, Mey-Rin, was donning some wreath in her hair. Finny, the gardener, had helped to set up real trees inside. They were decorated with candles and ornaments, and proven to be capable of taking a blow, which was proven by the cook Bardroy when he tried to set the Christmas pudding alight. Old man Tanaka was resting near the fireplace and the footman Snake was handing out hot chocolate to everyone. The season had everyone in its grasp. Everyone, safe for the young master, who was sitting cross-legged in a chair near a tree ladened with presents.

Ciel: *shifts in his chair and grumbles* Ugh, I can't believe how much time I've wasted on social frivolities these last few days, I'm horribly behind schedule on my paperwork....

Sebastian: *whispering, while smirking mischievously* Come now young master, this is a special day for us servants. You owe it to us for all our hard work.

Ciel: *sighs* I suppose you're right. Well then... *turns around towards Finny* Finny, would you be so kind to hand out the first box?

Finny: With pleasure, young master! *Finny jumps up and grabs the nearest box* This one is for... S-Snake... Hey! It's from Lady Elizabeth!

Snake: *takes the box from Finny* From Smile's fiancée? How nice, says Webster.

Ciel: Yes, she was pretty thorough with buying presents this year...

Snake unwrapped the box and looked inside. He pulled out a handful of what appeared to be tiny scarfs and hats.

Bard: Are those...

Ciel: Lizzy insisted that she wanted Snake's snakes to wear matching clothing. She insisted it would make them... *twitches his fingers* That much cuter.

Snake: That's a lovely idea! We'll wear them with pride, says Emily.

As Snake tried to fit his snakes with their new ensemble, the young master guestured Finny to hand out the next gift.

Finny: Here you go, Mey-Rin!

Mey: M-My turn?! Thank you Finny!

Mey-Rin unwraps her gift to reveal a lavishly decorated hair clip.

Mey: Oh my! It's stunning yes it is! Thank you young master!

Ciel nods in approval as Mey-Rin tries to put the clip in her hair. Meanwhile, Finny reads the tag on the third present.

Finny: This one is yours, Bard!

Bard: Alright! Let's see what we've got here! *tears off the wrapping paper* A metal cigarette case!

Sebastian: Since you're prone to... Flammable accidents we thought it suitable to buy you something to at least keep your cigarettes safe from anything catching on fire. It would be a waste if you didn't get to smoke them.

Bard: I don't know if that's a compliment... But I'll take it. Thank you very much!

Finny: *frowns at the next present* This one is for... All of us?

Bard: Well then what are you waiting for?

Ciel: Go ahead Finny, open it up.

Finny rips open the box to reveal a stack of Chirstmas hats. The hats are covered in glitter and ribbons. Ciel moans.

Ciel: Lizzy... What have you done?

Sebastian: It would be an insult not to wear them.... *takes one from the stack and puts in on his young master's head, then puts one on himself* Now we're actually dressed for the occasion.

The other servants cheer as they put on their hats. Ciel slumps in his chair, looking miserable.

Finny: Ah, this box is if you, mister Sebastian!

Sebastian: *looks surprised* For me?

Ciel: *smirks* Did you really think you would be spared?

Sebastian: *takes the box from Finny* I... Well thank you!

Ciel: I wouldn't be so quick with the gratitude...

Sebastian unwraps the present. Inside is a calendar for the new year, each month containing a drawing of cats.

Sebastian: Aah... How adorable...

Ciel: *annoyed* And here I was thinking Lizzy would give you something more...

Sebastian: Unsuitable? That thought hardly fits with the Christmas spirit, young master...

Sebastian hugs the calendar to his chest as Finny hands the next gift to Takana.

Tanaka: Ho ho ho...

Finny helps Tanaka open his present. Tanaka got an expensive looking set of tea cups.

Tanaka: Hoh!

Finny: One for you, young master! *hands Ciel a box*

Mey: Oh! That's from all of us!

Bard: Please enjoy it, young master!

Snake: And a Merry Chirstmas to you! Says Oscar.

Ciel has a quizzical look on his face as he opens the package. The servants got him a set of eyepatches.

Ciel: Wha-... Thank you...

Bard: There's no need to be embarassed about receiving a gift young master!

Finny: Now you can match them with your outfits!

Mey: Me and mister Snake picked them especially for you, yes we did!

Sebastian: *has a look of malice in his eyes as he takes out a bright, crimson eyepatch* How about you try this one, young master? It matches the hat....

There was no room for protest as Sebastian swapped the regular, black eyepatch for the coloured one. Ciel's face was barely a shade away from matching the new ensemble.

Finny: Ah, this package is for Mey-Rin again!

Ciel: Wouldn't you want to unwrap a gift yourself first?

Mey: You can't skip yourself, no you can't!

Finny: O-Okay!

Snake: Here's one with your name on it, says Wordsworth.

Finny took the box Snake pointed at from the stack.

Finny: I wonder what it is... *unwraps his gift* ... It's a book!

Bard: *reads the title over Finny's shoulder* "20 Christmas stories and carols, bundled".... With this, you'll be an expert on Christmas before the next year rolls around!

Finny: Thank you young master!

Ciel smiles as Finny stares at the cover, tears in his eyes.

Ciel: I hope you've been practising your reading skills.

Finny: I have! I'm still not that fast, though... Hey... Here's an idea... Could you read us one of these stories tonight, young master?

Ciel: Wha-

Mey: What a splendid idea that is!

Bard: Hey yeah! That would be fun! We've never heard you read something aloud like that.

Ciel: *blushes* And you never will...

Sebastian: Come now, young master, don't be a spoilsport...

Ciel: Why you... *sighs* ... Fine. But only one, and you'll have to work extra hard to do all the cleaning up in the morning.

Servants: Will do!

Ciel: *flips through the book* Hmm... Ah, here's one. A visit from St. Nicholas.

The servants leaned in closer as Ciel cleared his throat.

Ciel: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care-

Finny: Stockings?

Bard: Yeah some people put the presents in socks above the chimney.

Mey: Really?!

Finny: That sounds fun! Let's hang our socks above the chimney too!

The servants scrambled on thier feet and ran out of the room.

Ciel: Hey! Wait!

After a while, the servants returned, each carrying a sock. Snake's sock looked wrinkled, and Bard's contained a hole. Ciel blinked in surprise, then shook his head in annoyance. The servants hung their socks on the chimney mantle, then settled down again.

Ciel: Could I please continue the story without any interruptions? ... Here we are... The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads, and mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap, had just settled down for a long winter's nap, when out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow, gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below, when, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

Finny: Wow! Santa really has that many reindeers?!

Snake: Do they all have names?

Ciel: *sighs* I'll get to that in a minute... Now... With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, and he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name; "Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN! On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONNER and BLITZEN! To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

Finny: They can climb walls?!

Mey: Hush Finny, or we'll never hear the end of the story!

Ciel: As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky, So up to the house-top the coursers they flew, With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too. And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The prancing and pawing of each little hoof. As I drew in my head, and was turning around, Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

Finny: *rushes to the fireplace, knocking over Tanaka* Santa! Santa are you in the chimney?! But the fire is on! It's hot!

Tanaka: Hoooh!

Bard: Finny! Would you please calm down?!

Snake: You know he's not real, right? Says Webster.

As Bard and Snake tugged Finny back to his place and Sebastian helped Tanaka upright again, Ciel continued.

Ciel: He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow; The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath; He had a broad face and a little round belly, That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself; A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

Finny: *sighs dreamily* With a description like that... How could he not be real?

Bard: You can't be serious, right?!

Ciel: This is indeed a rather joyful version of Father Christmas. He has also seen other iterations, though... *smirks impishly*

Finny: *a little scared* R-Really?!

Ciel: Read the rest of the book and find out for yourself... Now where was I... Ah... He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk, and laying his finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose-

There was the sound of something clattering. Looking around with a jerk, the household saw Finny laying on his back on the floor, blissfully asleep, his cup of hot cocoa rolling on the carpet.

Mey: Oh dear...

Bard: He couldn't even finish the story...

Ciel: *snaps the book shut* Well I guess that's the end of it for now then... Sebastian, Bard, bring Finny to his bed. Mey-Rin, Snake, clean away the cups and then it's off to bed. We'll finish the rest of the presents tomorrow.

Servants: *nod* Yes sir!

And so, Sebastian carried Finny downstairs, with Bardroy in tow. They entered thier room and lay Finny down on his bed. As Sebastian pulled him under the covers, Bardroy put on his nightwear.

Bard: I swear he's still just a kid, despite his ridiculous strength.

Sebastian: Kid or not, I'll expect him to work hard tomorrow to mkae up for the ruckus he caused.

Bard: *slides into his bed* Geez, lighten up a bit, it's the one time a year we servants get to taste a bit of magic... Who's the spoilsport now... *turns around and starts snoring*

Sebastian: Magic, hm? *grabs the red duvet from Finny's bed and swings open the window, jumping on the windowsill and climbing towards the roof, the duvet draped over his shoulders*

The cold draft from the open window made its way to Finny, who stirred, searching for his covers.

Finny: Hm? Ah! *spots the open window and scurries over, looking around over the landscape, and spots something crimson* Santa Claus?

Meanwhile upstairs, Snake and Mey-Rin just finished their tasks.

Mey: I know I shouldn't ask, young master, but just how does the story end?

Ciel: *reopens the book and points at the last few lines of the poem* He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight-

At that moment, Sebastian soared from the rooftop towards the trees, guised under a blur of red. Ciel looked in disbelief as the jaws of Snake and Mey-Rin dropped to the floor. A few flors below, Finny cheered with delight.

Finny: Santa! Santa! Bard! Look!

Bard: *Sleepy* huh...? Wha-!

As he flew by the windows, Sebastian shouted.

Sebastian: Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

[walnutcookie]

hello there mister almond sir i just read your Misfortune infodump and i. am intrigued. i would like to hear more pretty please /nf

MISFORTUNE RANT PART 2💥💥 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK BWAAA/GEN ...

part 1 here

so . Unfortunately i am a sucker for fluff and also capchat so that is precisely the ending my fanon gets HXVDKDB

langue comes to visit cappu in her office the day after he saw misfortune again and finds her like half dead with a hangover and theyre like Hey. What the fuck happened. shes a little hesitant because yknow not everyone will believe you when you say theres a giant 10 foot raven inside of you!! but he tells langue EVERYTHING and based on what cappu tells them. They believe her!! they are horrified and greatly disgusted (thhey dont like the thought of a giant bird covered in blood crawling in and out of cappus mouth so they make her swish out his mouth before they kiss him /hj)

but langue is a stubborn fuck. a perfectionist and an overachiever. they are going to fight misery itself just to prove they can. So!! misfortune feeds off of cappuccino being miserable? then they just have to make her life As good and lovely as possible so that he never feels miserable. or at least not enough for it to feed off of her

they manage to convince their parents (who were never very fond of cappu and just saw her as a bad influence for their precious lovely child) to let cappu move in with them temporarily and they quickly start to adore him because Of Course They Do. Langue is going to nag him about every little thing until he Actually Does It so eventually they manage to get him a proper sleep schedule, wean her off of cigarettes, heavily cut her daily coffee intake, and most importantly keep her from being isolated so often. Love wins !

obviously it takes a loong time and misfortune is NOT happy that this little fuck is managing to ignore all of the disasters its causing (falling furniture. fires. shattered windows. anything it can manage to do) and somehow not die from any of it and eventually They succeed ! Cappuccino is actually happy! even though misfortune still tries to make her life a living hell she now has support from langue AND their parents and so shes able to actually push through and recover from his bad luck instead of just having to sit there and endure it (or desperately find ways to escape it)

right now the silly ending is misfortune senses a very very miserable being walking down the street and goes to hide in them instead but it turns out it was ROGUEFORT and misfortune has thousands of year old beef with their sentient cloak goddess (lupine) and it escapes heavily weakened.

it is so itty bitty now. but it has found that movie theaters produce a good amount of misery for it to feed off of and it lives in there now lol. Diversity win! The spirit of misfortune likes popcorn!

this is all just a silly ending though idk if its canon or not . Either way misfortune leaves cappu and finds another victim HXBDKFB

meanwhile cappu is FUCKING DYING!!! It clawed its way out of his chest since it no longer cared if she died or not and had no use for her it just left her to die. Thankfully it was in langues house so he was rushed to a hospital as soon as langue saw her with his chest literally wide open (they frew up) and Cappu Survived!!!!

thats basically it HXVDKF cappu rides in a car while conscious for the first time in years when langues parents drive her home from the hospital and he is an Anxious Mess because of how many accidents hes been in and how its caused her to be absolutely terrified of cars. but langue is there to hold his hand and. um. yeah just kind of hold her hand because they are AWFUL at comforting people. But their parents try to say some comforting things !!! poor thang is trembling

if anyone has any questions i would love to answer :3!! i love this silly raven thang so much

[thatboomerkid]

Happy Hunting, Mister the Frog! (part one)

[interior: the New York Continental, mid-day; it is full of badass assassins in fancy suits all quietly going about their business]

[the camera pans the lobby to show that the crowd is also inexplicably interspersed with various Muppets: Rolf is playing piano, Scooter is a bellhop, Link Hogthrob is talking on a cellphone while surrounded by beautiful female bodyguards, and Sam Eagle is reading a newspaper with the headline “PROFITS?!?”, all while Uncle Deadly & Sweetums chat casually with a group of heavily-tattooed men]

[the crowd is ALSO full of random celebs not otherwise featured in the John Wick movies: Zendaya, Mark Ruffalo, Weird Al, Jenna Ortega, Snoop Dogg, Jack Black, Margot Robbie, Randall Park, Paul Rudd, Nicholas Cage, Lucy Liu, Christopher Walken, Tommy Chong, and Lady Gaga, among others]

[meanwhile, we see Dr. Bunsen Honeydew exchanging a massive dufflebag full of comically-oversized guns for a small black briefcase (which Beaker then immediately drops several times, allowing the chickens stuffed inside to escape) while the Electric Mayhem arm-wrestle John Cena; we can see Statler & Waldorf heckling a group of angry Yakuza from their theater box in the background ]

Bell: (chimes as the door opens)

Kermit: (trudges in, visibly annoyed and wearing a black suit & tie; he has a large, cartoonish white X-shaped bandage on the left side of his forehead)

Fozzie: (wanders in behind him, loudly eating popcorn out of a little red-&-white-striped box; he is openly ogling both the scenery and the patrons)

Fozzie: Oh wow! Kermit, look! This place is great! They have EVERYTHING! Did you see the luggage carts!? (pause) Ooh, are these people all really … you-know-whats?

Kermit: Everyone has a vocation, Fozzie. These are all just regular people, just like anybody else.

Fozzie: Wow! And I guess your old college roommate John Wick told you about this place, huh? Hey, did anyone ever tell you that the two of you look totally identical? Especially with your new haircut!

Kermit: Uh, Fozzie, can you keep it down? I think people here can be a little … touchy.

Fozzie: (fondling a confused Idris Elba’s tie while looking over his shoulder to read his cellphone) Sure thing, Kermit!

Kermit: (audible sigh)

Everyone: (begins whispering as Kermit trudges across the lobby; he arrives at the empty front desk and rings the bell)

Kermit: Fozzie, will you stop that?

Fozzie: (snapping pictures of an annoyed Rihanna on his disposable camera) Sorry, Kermit! (snaps another picture)

Kermit: (grumbles, rings the bell several more times) Hello?

Gonzo & Rizzo: (pop up from behind the desk in perfect unison) Checking in, Mister the Frog?

Kermit: (even more visibly annoyed) Guys, what are you doing here?

Rizzo: We work here now!

Gonzo: Yeah! The High Table said we’re their new most-dependable employees!

Winston: (leaning out of his office) I said most disposable.

Rizzo: That’s right! And no funny-business on Continental grounds, buddy! Or I get to spray you with the fire extinguisher! The boss said so!

Winston: (leaning out of his office again) I most certainly did not.

Statler: What’s that? No funny-business!?

Waldorf: Well, that certainly won’t be difficult!

Statler & Waldorf: OHOHOHOHO!

Kermit: Look, guys, I just need a room. My house got blown up. Again.

Fozzie: Yeah, guys! Also? Kermit here is gonna avenge my death!

Kermit: Fozzie, stop telling everyone that I’m going to avenge your death. I think you really scared that poor Uber driver.

Rizzo: Right! ‘Cuz everyone knows he’s gonna avenge Piggy’s death first!

Kermit: What? Who? No, no I am not.

Gonzo: (putting on 3D glasses) Ooh, a flashback!

[flashback begins]

Miss Piggy: (dramatically flinging herself onto a bed) Oh, Kermie! I’m dying!

Kermit: Uh … well, no. I mean, I’m sure lots of people get banned for life from Shoes 4 Less, honey. It’s probably … fine?

Miss Piggy: (wailing, kicking) NO! SHOES! NOOO!

Kermit: If it bothers you so much, maybe … uh, just try not punching all the security guards in the face so much next time?

Miss Piggy: No! NO! My life is OVER! I’m buying you the cheapest dog they have and then I’m DYING!

Kermit: uhh

Miss Piggy: (wailing)

Kermit: (slowly backing out the door) … Okay well I’m gonna go fold some socks and I’ll leave you to it.

Miss Piggy: (suddenly sitting up) And you better not kiss any other beautiful women after I’m dead, frog.

Kermit:

Miss Piggy: (dramatically slams herself back on the bed; wailing resumes)

[flashback ends]

Fozzie: And I’m the dog!

Rizzo: Cool!

Kermit: No you are not.

Gonzo: Ooh, that was a great flashback! Can we see the part where you learned karate and high-speed stunt-driving?

Kermit: No! And I’m not avenging anyone’s death!

Rizzo: Ohhh, right, right, right! Sure, sure, I gotcha! You’re “not” avenging “anyone’s” “death”! Of course, why didn’t you say so!? I got just the guy!

Gonzo: (pulls out a megaphone) Attention, all Continental guests! Attention, all scary Continental guests! Sommelier to the front desk, please! Sommelier to the front desk! The world’s most dangerous frog is now purchasing several very large guns!

Kermit: (visible anger)

Swedish Chef: (crashes though a door behind the front desk, stirring a giant pot full of bullets that fly everywhere) Hurdy yurdy, Meester dee Frog! Needin’ der guns fer de pewty-pew, shooty-boom-boom?

Rizzo: He wants to know who the target is.

Gonzo: Tell him it’s me! I wanna see what he would recommend!

Swedish Chef: (begins rummaging under the desk; pulls out a bazooka, a katana, a spike-covered accordion, and a big black cartoon bomb — already lit — with the word ‘BOöMBb’ written on it in giant white letters) Hokey-hinkey Mistier dee Froög! Skirben der moo frinkie shootie all der baddies, ya?

Rizzo: He says it comes with a bayonet and three laser-sights, but it’ll cost you extra.

Fozzie: (playing with nunchucks) Oh wow, Kermit! You could probably “not avenge” the whole city with all this stuff!

Gonzo: (brandishing flamethrower) Or the entire nation of Portugal! Twice!

Kermit: (exasperated groan) Look, I’m not “not avenging” anyone! And especially not the nation of Portugal!

Gonzo: Not even once?

Kermit: NO.

Rizzo: (tossing several ninja stars over his shoulder) Pfft. Not with that attitude, you’re not!

Kermit: Now are you gonna rent me a hotel room, or is that the one thing this place doesn’t have?

Daniel Craig: (standing behind Kermit) Ah, I beg your pardon? I am ALSO checking in? I was told that there were several, ah … dozen murders in need of investigation?

Kenneth Branagh: Ah! Oui, and I was told zee same thing?

Benedict Cumberbatch & Robert Downey Jr: (simultaneously) As was I. (scowl at one another)

Scooter: (arriving from nowhere) If you’ll follow me, gentleman? I’m afraid you’re in our “committing” section; the “solving” section is right over here.

(crowd of detectives departs)

Fozzie: (takes several photos of them)

Keanu Reeves: (walks up wearing a cheap fake mustache and glasses) Um, excuse me? I would ALSO like to check in; my name is, uh … Chlon. Uh … Chlon Ww… Glick. Chlon Glick. I’ve never been here before.

Rizzo: You again? Get out of here, buddy! This place is only for real cool guys with tattoos and tragic pathos! Go be a nobody loser some place else!

Keanu: (leaves)

Rizzo: Jeez, what is with that guy?

Gonzo: I like him! He taught me a cool pen trick! Watch! (jams pens in his “ears”)

Scooter: Ahem! Your room is ready, Mister the Frog. You’re in our “tortured path of self-destructive revenge” suite!

Gonzo: (now with like thirty pens jammed into his face) Ooh, that’s the best one!

Scooter: No, you’re thinking of the “self-destructive path of torturous revenge” suite. This one’s a dump.

Fozzie: Does it have a minibar?

Scooter: It does … not. And it’s next to two different ice machines. (checks clipboard) Make that three.

Fozzie: That’s okay. Is the bed comfy?

Scooter: Not particularly. And you’re definitely going to get attacked in the middle of the night by this guy. (gestures at Crazy Harry)

Crazy Harry: (waves axe around with low, ominous chuckle)

Fozzie: Ooooh, fancy! (snaps a picture)

Kermit: Look, do you have any rooms that aren’t weird horrible death-traps?

Scooter: Uh … probably not, but I guess I can check? You’re welcome to hang out in the lobby while you wait.

Fozzie: (picking up a bar menu) Kermit? Can we order some onion rings?

Rizzo: Yep! And there’s a running gun-battle every hour, on the hour!

Gonzo: (strapping on a helmet, picking up a chicken) Be sure to stay for the evening show; it’s completely different than the afternoon matinee! No spoilers, but I’ll probably die!

Kermit: (grumbles, walks to the bar)

[thirdlotusprince3]

Hetalia x Avatar the Last Airbender

Italy, how useless can you be?

Water. Earth. Fire. Air. My grandmother used to tell me stories about the old days, a time of peace when the Avatar kept balance between the Water Tribes, Earth Kingdom, Fire Nation, and Air Nomads. But that all changed when the Axis attacked. The three members of the Axis were Germany, an earth and firebending nation and Japan who was one too and Italy an air and waterbender nation but was also a very useless nation who also really liked pasta. Only the Avatar mastered all four elements. Only he and the Allies could stop the ruthless Axis. But when the world needed him most, he vanished. A hundred years have passed and the Axis is nearing victory in the War. Two years ago, my father and the men of my tribe journeyed to China, an Earth Kingdom to help fight against the Axis, leaving me and my brother to look after our tribe. Some people believe that the Avatar was never reborn into the Air Nomads, and that the cycle is broken. But I haven't lost hope. I still believe that somehow, the Avatar will return, and together with the Allies will save the world.

It was another day; Germany was walking when he found a stick. Then he saw a tomato cart and clacked his stick on it.

“Who are you?! I’ve been hiding in a box of tomatoes.” A mysterious and frantic voice replied.

“There’s nobody inside.”

Germany opened the box.

“AAAaaaah! Please don’t hurt me, I’m still a virgin!” the man cried. It was a man with bright auburn hair and a blue jumpsuit.

“Please I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die!” he cried.

“You’re related to Rome right.” Germany asked.

“You know Grandpa Rome! Maybe we can be friends? My name’s Italy.” The man responded.

Then it was the middle of World War II.

Meanwhile Aang was in the middle of nowhere. Katara and Sokka found him in a large circular ice dome in the middle of Canada.

“You should stay with us. The axis might find you.” Katara and Sokka told Aang.

And in another part of the world, Italy was meeting up with the rest of the Axis.

Germany was talking with Japan.

“Italy is just so useless! I don’t know what to do with him, but my boss insisted I work with him.”

“I heard the Avatar has returned, and Prince Zuko is searching for him. Maybe Italy could prove some use and work with Prince Zuko.”

The axis met with Prince Zuko.

“Herro, we have an ar-rye to help you in your search for the Avatar.” Japan told Prince Zuko

“Okay.” Zuko replied.

Italy’s auburn hair and his face peaked out from behind Germany.

Germany moved Italy in front of him.

“Okay buddy, we are searching for the Avatar!” Zuko cried.

“Germany! Japan! What are you doing, leaving me with this scary boy with a scary scar!” Italy cried.

“Prove yourself useful and capture the Avatar with Prince Zuko, then you can return. Catching a group of kids, shouldn’t be too hard.” Germany told Italy.

“Wait! Wait!” Italy cried, Germany and Japan left.

“Okay. Let’s find the Avatar.” Zuko told Italy.

Zuko and Italy hid behind a bush.

“On the count of three we will sneak up on them and capture them.” Zuko told Italy.

“One, two, three!” Zuko cried, he leaped out. He saw Italy was still hiding behind the bush, so he pulled Italy by the collar, for him to join in.

“Avatar, I am here to capture you, and restore my honor.” Zuko declared.

Zuko looked at Italy. He was waving a white flag.

Zuko blasted fire at Team Avatar.

“Veneziano! What are you do-!”

“Go mister boomerang!” Sokka cried, he landed a shot and Zuko passed out.

“Germany! Germany! Don’t hurt me please!” Italy cried.

The avatar gang left.

Italy returned to Germany.

“Germany! Germany! I couldn’t defeat them. They were too scary.”

[mourningcandles]

I made this post about The Reluctant Director&Furnace&Cornelius, but I think I'll make a new one to keep talking about them. It needs to be a separate posts with tags like this.

#thinking about that time the Reluctant Director tracked Cornelius across the Hinterlands just to accuse him of a crime he didn't commit #despite having proof of crimes he did in fact commit #because they didn't care about the other crimes #they just really pettily thought he was involved in a different crime because they were jealous (platonic) #meanwhile Mister Fires was right there#both of them mid-stand off like ''where's Furnace Ancona and what did you do with her- wait I thought you had her'' #''I will make your life a hell'' what are you two #what is up with your rivalry #this post was brought to you by: Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine being on their platonic love triangle playlist #okay fine they did care about the other crimes but Furnace said fuck off when they brought it up so they did because they're a simp

There's a marked air of jealously between The Reluctant Director and Cornelius. It shows quite plainly in their interactions. It's a bit miserable, actually.

Speaking with Cornelius [...] "Did she show you her face?" Cornelius asks. "Perhaps I should show you mine." He unwinds the bandage around his head. His face is covered with tiny mouths, none of them bigger than an eye. When his first mouth is silent, the other mouths speak, or grimace. All these mouths give him a strange cadence; he speaks with one voice and another, like verses of poetry.

He has no way of knowing that Furnace has removed her helmet in the Director's presence. That is an assumption he makes, and that assumption is that Furnace trusts the Director. With that assumption comes some measure of disdain. But he doesn't know the context.

For reference, the timeline for this character's run is:

Start investigating Cornelius

Bring evidence of embezzlement to Furnace

Be annoyingly persistent (autistic) until she reveals her faces (plural) out of frustration and anger

Never bring it up again

Furnace goes missing

Finish investigating Cornelius and confront him

They wouldn't have ever learned what was beneath the mask if it weren't for Cornelius and his nonsense.

Hear him out His need to speak is electric in the air. Confessional The mouths speak: "This is what the Masters made of us." "Of Furnace and me." "Not because they have such power. Not because they even noticed us. But because in opposing them, we unmade ourselves." "The masters did not make the law, they did not make the Bazaar, it is best to ignore them, do not even bother to unbuild them, just ignore them and follow a different rule –" "– and here you are –" "– and the Devils took the Red position, neutral, both sides –" It goes on like this, on and on, a litany of thoughts from all the little mouths. At the end, Cornelius' central mouth says, "It was my fault. I called on the Discordance, I read the law of ice, I tried to enter the Adulterine Castle." He looks at you and you see a man who is, on the whole, sane. "I don't speak this way to everyone. But she trusts you, I think. And so I trust you, even if I should not."

It's honestly such a leap for him to extend even the illusion of trust towards a Director of the GHR who also has evidence against him (which he suspects) but such is the nature of their weird rivalry, I suppose.

Ask him where Furnace is Does he know? Lightning glance The tiny mouths and their many stories collapse into silence. "Does she love you?" Cornelius asks, with the one mouth at the centre of his face. "Because all the stories I'm hearing, the gossip on the rail – she's taken your side a stupid number of times." His eyes bore into you. You have an intuition: he does not know where Furnace is, but he would remove your liver with his hands if he thought that would produce her location.

The only thing preventing these two from throttling each other is that they both love Furnace. They are to some degree fighting for her affection despite both knowing full-well that she doesn't care about them that way in the slightest. The only thing preventing these two from throttling each other is their uneasy alliance, formed with the purpose of saving Furnace, perhaps even from herself, ultimately. Their methods and how far each is willing to go vary, but it does prevent them from throttling each other.

Also the Reluctant Director neither knows nor cares whether this feeling in romantic or platonic, both in their own case and in the case of Cornelius. In the end they like Furnace and they think Cornelius is a prick and a freak. They will admit that they are also a freak, but they are under the illusion that they are less of a prick. They are not.

[kudosmyhero]

Batman: Shadow of the Bat (vol. 1) #16: (Knightfall) The God of Fear, part 1

Read Date: November 17, 2023 Cover Date: September 1993 ● Writer: Alan Grant ● Penciler: Bret Blevins ● Inker: Mike Manley ● Colorist: Adrienne Roy ● Letterer: Todd Klein ● Editor: Dennis O'Neil ◦ Jordan B. Gorfinkel ●

**HERE BE SPOILERS: Skip ahead to the fan art/podcast to avoid spoilers (👏=didn't like it, 👏👏=it was ok, 👏👏👏=I liked it, 👏👏👏👏=I really liked it!, 👏👏👏👏👏=I loved it!)

Reactions As I Read: ●is that Dr. Crane? nice, ominous figure!

● Jean-Paul is rockin' the Batman thing, ngl ● I love Anarky ● maybe that wasn't Dr. Crane… ● a-ha! it is Crane! ● the art is really cool in this issue

● poor Phil :( ● 👏👏👏👏👏

Synopsis: Some students at Gotham University discover a poster offering $50 to participate in a psychological experiment. Two bullies force a young man named Herold who has a stutter into participating as well. In the room that the experiment is to take place, the students are excited to see that it involves some kind of virtual reality helmets. Meanwhile, Jonathan Crane has set up the experiment as part of a plan to take revenge on Gotham City.

At Wayne Manor, Tim Drake is surprised to discover Jean-Paul Valley wearing the Batsuit on the balcony. He warns that Bruce Wayne has a rule against wearing costumes in the manor outside of the Batcave. Jean-Paul is unconcerned, and deliberately flouts Bruce's rules, stating that he will take up the Batman's mission in his own way. He storms off into the cave, adding that Robin's services will not be required. Tim worries that his dream life as partner to his hero is going down the toilet.

Dr. Crane - under the pseudonym of Professor Rance - begins the experiment, but Herold recognizes him as the Scarecrow, and the man who killed his father. Annoyed, but not put off, Crane sprays Herold and the supervising teacher Ms. Stopes with knockout gas, and forces everyone into their virtual reality helmets. Herold has a series of nightmares culminating in watching the Scarecrow shoot his father right before his eyes.

Meanwhile, Lonnie Machin has escaped a juvenile detention centre, and enacts his plan to bring down the elites of the world by taking them on as Anarky. He becomes disgusted with the number of criminals loose on Gotham's streets following the breakout at Arkham Asylum. He fires up a flare to attract the attention of the Batman, and then observes as he systematically beats a group of thugs up.

With his hypnosis experiment complete, Scarecrow ensures his control over the students by forcing them to stand, sit, bark like dogs, and finally to have one of the students kill another in cold blood. Satisfied that he has their obedience, he orders them to get their costumes out of his van.

As he watches Batman take out the crooks, Anarky comes to the conclusion that the evil of Gotham City is Batman's fault, having set himself up as a vigilante. His implied challenge to villains to take the city away from him leads criminals like Joker, Two-Face and Mister Zsasz to threaten Gotham. Having decided this, Anarky vows to bring Batman down.

Scarecrow has each of the hypnotized students dress in similar scarecrow costumes to his own, and reveals that he intends to become a living god of fear, with their help. Before leaving, he instructs Ms. Stopes to release fear gas into the vents of the university at precisely ten o'clock.

(https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Batman:_Shadow_of_the_Bat_Vol_1_16)

Fan Art: Anarky by junkome

[tim-writes-a-lot]

Wildin'

.

"Lady Sarah, what's the name of the place again?" he asked over the phone.

"Mister Jello's."

"I don't know... it sounds weird..."

"Come on Sir Tim, the place sells jello shots, and this is the Cure night, you can dance horribly with me and I swear I won't say a thing if you cry again during Boys Don't Cry."

"Ha, yeah, that was just an emotional day for me, but ughhhh, ok, for you, I'll meet you there in a half hour."

"Hell yeah! It will be fun Sir Tim, I swear!"

..............

Forty-five minutes later...

An impatient lady, dressed in black, sits at a table at Mister Jello's. There are three empty jello shot cups in front of her. She is speaking into her phone.

"You said you'd be here! What? How did you get lost coming here? OK, OK, I'll wait, but I'm gonna start dancing anyway and have another jello shot, or two, so hurry up!"

On a darker side of town Tim is driving slowly and trying to read the signs to find the right place. He thinks: "How hard can it be to find a place called Mister Jello's?" Easier, he thought, if he could have found his glasses before he left.

He finally sees a sign that looks like it says Mister Jello's, although honestly it's pretty blurry without his usual optical assistance. But he parks, gets out and heads for the front door...

Meanwhile, another couple of jello shots into her night the restless lady is realizing she hasn't heard a single Cure song playing. She asks a bartender about it over a loudly playing Dua Lipa song. The bartender chuckles, leans over and says something into her ear.

"It's what night???" she says, looking confused and slightly amused.

Tim finally walks into Mister Jello's. It seems a rather dark place for a jello shot bar. Pretty empty too. The decor was more medieval torture chamber than a bar with a dance floor. Maybe one of the two ladies wearing matching leather outfits that were approaching him could help.

"Right this way, the Mistress will see you now," said the ladies in unison.

"Wait, the what? Who?"

His phone rang at that moment. He pauses following the ladies and answers. Over what sounds like a Deadmau5 song in the background he hears a very happy sounding Lady Sarah.

"Hurry up Sir Tim, the party is starting without you!"

"I just got here, I don't see you, or anyone else hardly..."

Just then Tim looks up and sees a lady dressed in all bright yellow leather impatiently smacking a riding crop in and out of her hand.

"...ummm, Lady Sarah, I think I messed up, and it's gonna be a while before I get there..."

He hangs up his phone and looks up at the yellow-clad woman.

She said "on your knees, bitchboy!"

Yeah, Tim thought, as he swallowed the lump in his throat, this isn't Mister Jello's.

If he would have found his glasses he could have read the sign outside.

It said "Mistress Yellow's."

..........

Three or four hours later, maybe three weeks later... who the hell knows... Tim wakes up... apparently he was passed out in the back of his truck. He started frantically checking himself, thinking another night of wildin' got the best of him. But he finds he is surprisingly wearing his normal clothing, no fireman's suit this time, not the garter and stockings from the previous weekend. He also didn't feel sticky, for once. His nipples felt a bit sensitive, almost sore, but nothing unbearable. His phone startles him as it goes off.

"Yeah? Sorry, I got held up. No, I'm not exactly sure what happened to me but at least i didnt wake up chained to a fire hydrant or sprawled out in a truck stop bathroom... of course I'll pick you up... you did what? And no I will not laugh at you at all."

Tim hung up his phone, for once feeling nearly responsible and knowing nothing bad happened to him. He drove along with an extra bit of confidence to go pick up a slightly more confused Lady Sarah... at the boat docks on the lake... of all places.

Tim arrived at the boat dock and pulled up and parked his truck. He had to stifle a laugh as he got out and looked at the Lady Sarah as she stepped from the shadows.

The closer she got the wider his eyes opened. She was wearing what appeared to be a scuba diving suit, but one like they would give to the sexy female lead in a movie about shipwrecks, treasure, giant sharks, and bad acting. Tim thought the mask and snorkel really rounded out the entire look.

"Tim. Shut. Up. Go ahead and look, but so help me if you laugh I will stab you in the throat."

She spun around slowly and a bit awkwardly, her body still suffering the effects of the previous nights jello shots.

"Girl, that gyatt got it going!" said Tim.

"I said SHUT UP!"

"What happened to you?" said Tim, as he also noticed she was holding what appeared to be a trophy in her arms.

"It was jello wrestling night at the bar. Yeah, I know, this was the best outfit they had... and yeah, apparently I won. And no, I have no idea how I got to the lake, but I assume I jumped in the water to wash the jello off. Not one more word about this Tim, and not one more question, just drive me home. I am glad it appears you survived your night relatively intact for once. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, and hey, I've got a towel behind the seat, let me get it so you can cover yourself up a bit."

Tim opens his truck door and bends over as he is rustling around behind the seat trying to find the towel. His shirt had risen up a bit in the back as he did so. Lady Sarah had to cover her mouth with her hand to keep from cackling outloud. On Tim's lower back in the good old tramp stamp area was a fresh tattoo.

It said "open 24 hours" with an arrow pointing down towards his bottom.

Suddenly, Sarah felt a bit better about her night and was almost proud of the trophy she had won while jello wrestling.

That's wildin' for ya!

[measuringbliss]

Spider-Man Read-Through 059: The Prophecy of Madame Web (ASM 207-212)

MASTERPOST

This time:

We meet the protagonist of the biggest superhero movie of the last decade.

Also: a lot of Peter Parker thirst.

Let's gooo!

Hey, our little guy changed!

That's nice to see. We also get a promising first page:

So Peter's on a date with Debby Whitman. Debby?

Oh, right. Debra!

So they're at a show where Mesmero hypnotized a member of the audience. Peter investigates nude-feet-style, just like ages ago when he was on a date with Gwen. He ends up putting out a fire, discreetly... or so he thinks. Mesmero noticed his web, and announces to the audience that he thinks SM is here and he has something to discuss with him.

Peter quickly gets rid of his date and talks to Mesmero, who offers him weekly money in exchange for a 15 minutes appearance. Spidey says, "sure!".

Except that Mesmero's reputation is currently awful, and criticism in a newspaper makes him go berserk. That is, he hypnotizes a guy to jump from a bridge.

Meanwhile, Jameson's back at the Bugle! Wouldn't want too many changes in ASM, would we now?

At first, Spidey thinks of catching our guy with his web, but he remembers what happened with Gwen (nice!) and catches him more graciously. Our critic gives free tickets to a show to Spidey as thanks, and Peter soon invites Debra to make amends.

When later, Spidey goes back to Mesmero to talk, he quickly gets zapped with electrified bills... and misses his appointment with Debra. Poor girl. It's not even fun to watch her be disappointed again and again, she's just a chew toy for the universe to step on.

Spidey's forced to do a circus number, but soon KOs out villain.

In the readers' letters, let's just say people are NOT fans of our Miss April Maye. Stern says this might even be a fake name... who could have predicted this, oh my?

#208 has a nice first page, and... Romita Jr worked on the layouts! Alright, mister...

In a research lab, a scientist is a jerk to his janitor twin brother. And when he starts his big machine, it explodes in his face. His selfless brother tries to save him and gets absorbed instead.

At the Daily Globe, Donald Trump arrives.

I'm fascinated by Peter's outfit. I kind of love it... but also kind of hate it. Nice hair, though.

Bushkin also introduces Peter to his new colleague and fellow photographer, Lance Bannon. I expected Eddie Brock, but maybe later.

To get in a better mood, Peter goes to the hospital to pay a visit to Anna Watson with Aunt May. She says they just missed MJ!

Oh, the open belt...! Sir!

The ruckus is of course caused by our new villain, Fusion (the two brothers!), and when she sees the two super-powered beings by the window, May says Spidey isn't as bad as the media say. Character development, yay!

Fusion escapes Spidey's grasp, and it's clear that the two brothers aren't of the same mind concerning their current state. When peter comes back to the hospital room and says he went to talk to a nurse he knows, May says "My Peter's getting interested in girls, Anna". First of all, that's uncalled for, but also, damn May, are you still thinking that your Peter might be gay? (He's bisexual, you're not completely off the mark.)

Thanks to some cops, Spidey quickly finds back Fusion. Twice during this issue does he feel ridiculized by the crowds laughing at him. I feel like it never happened before... Is this element going somewhere? It certainly feels uncharacteristic.

Anyway, he separates the two brothers with the help of the janitor one, and... the issue ends here. They still have their power. That's not an ending. *sigh*

Oh, great shading!!! And Kraven too! By that point, I assume he won't shoot lasers out of his nipples, but a small part of myself still hopes...

We start with Kraven saying to his girlfriend Calypso that THIS TIME, FOR SURE, he'll get rid of our hero... Sure.

Loving the art, even though Peter doesn't necessarily look very much like himself in that third panel, but the clothes!!!! The clothes, people!!!!! Jesus. Is that really a summer outfit though?

Debra's worried about her old uncle working at the docks, and when she asks Peter if with his connections, he could do something to check on him, he rebuffs her. She's understandably saddened, and he ends up going anyway, as Spidey naturally.

Gorgeous middle panels. Also, Kraven's heart skips when he sees Spidey. Not very heterosexual of him. Calypso wants to see her man be a man, so she frees up some animals who cause chaos in the city. Kraven saves the ones he can catch, and Spidey helps too.

And suddenly...

Well well well...

What do we have here...

Didn't expect to see a near naked lady on there but good for her!

Calypso wants violence and tries hard to convince Kraven that Spidey's the one who opened the locks.

I'm loving the eagerness to show skin around here, I'm telling you. Also love how Bushkin looks in the first panel.

Fascinating panels, because Peter looks extremely different in the middle panel, but oh lord is he gorgeous in the other two. And also: a professor having a relationship with a female student? Oh, we almost got that a few issues ago! How interesting.

Spider-Woman has a cameo, where she ponders on how she almost sent Dockery in jail, but since it's Spidey's territory, she can't do anything.

... No but seriously, Peter's gorgeous...

Ahem. Kraven barges in the Daily Globe and activates a Spider-Tracer he conveniently has. Spidey has to show up tonight for a one-on-one battle!

They fight in a museum, while Calypso laughs gleefully in the shadows.

Very subtle there, Spidey. Oh well!

So far I'm really into "the grotesque 80s art". Beats those 90s covers where Spidey's web looks like iron. Anyway, hi Bell! You're going too fast for me but whatever. Someone appreciates the detail and the shading! It's a really strong issue. I also liked Kraven there.

Anyway, issue #210!

It's time to meet the star of 2024's masterpiece "Madame Web".

Well, Debra's definitely gotten used to Peter's repeated abandonments. You deserve better, girl! At least she doesn't seem so sad anymore. More... resigned. I mean, I would probably accept anything if my boyfriend was Peter Parker too... except maybe when he wears that outfit. I'm not sold on that one.

At the Globe, armed people attack the head office and kidnapp Ms. Clayton. Pursuing them, Spidey finds that same paper of Madame Web.

Hey, that page has really nice composition.

Anyway, of course, what welcomes Spidey is... a vision.

Madame Web quickly informs Spidey that to find Ms. Clayton, he'll have to find one Belinda Bell. Turns out Belinda was impersonating Ms. Clayton in a complex plan for Dockery to get the Daily Globe!

Spidey quickly saves both the actress and the real Ms. Clayton, and catches Dockery.

I wish I was that newspaper.

And that ending is absolutely hilarious...

In #211, we see none other than Namor!

And this is a gorgeous first page, I have to say.

So Namor has his typical war against human waste. As for Peter?

Oh. Oh YES. Absolutely. Thank you. It is... glorious. I hereby declare this issue to be a 10 out of 10.

So Spidey goes out and thinks he could finally check on Debra Whitman's uncle. Turns out the latter is getting attacked at this very moment by his crew, who refuse to deliver a scientist and a machine to the ocean.

The next day, at ESU, Debra tells Peter she's worried even more about her uncle, because he decided to navigate the boat himself, since nobody else wants to do it. I'm happy to at least see her be a bit more developed. I'm starting to like her, even!

Gorgeous. I absolutely love his outfit even though I dislike jeans, but it works so well here! The colors...!

He decides to go see May to get in a better mood. There, his aunt is... teaching curling to the residents! Why not. And she nudges Peter to go help Debra's uncle.

Namor appears when they're at sea, and a fight breaks out.

They get over it and Namor even helps them, how nice!

Time for #212!

More than 14 hours have passed since the last issue, and they're naturally still on the boat. Debra's uncle (continued storyline, woohoo!) mentions Murphy's Law, which is funny because I watched Interstellar for the first time like two days ago.

An accident with crates occur, and one man falls under the sea. Spidey saves him, but the man can't seem to dry...

No matter. Peter gets back safely on land and catches Jameson's call. Work for him! Great. He also calls Debbie!

Great set of panel. I like that it seems to give actual weight to their relationship.

We have a scene with our wet guy at a bar and I might have felt sympathy for him for a second, but then he showed his misogynistic side and it was over.

Hydro-Man (presumably, given the cover of the issue) discovered he can become water and morph it, he becomes angry and starts searching through the whole city for Spider-Man. Sure.

MORE IMPORTANTLY.

Oh, that red shirt will be the death of me!

Of course, Peter quickly asks Debra to stay out of this, because of course he does. She accepts it.

There's a fun countdown, we always love countdowns.

Spidey finds Hydro-Man, but he instantly gets "splooshed" through the window. He resorts to ask Jonah to print a challenge in his newspaper, to make the duel easier to organize.

They fight, and we get a very nice ending.

In the comments, our dear Bell Lectar says she sees Peter as this leech that will dry up every resource the ladies in his life have and leave them to die (or miraculously escape unscathed), which is definitely an interesting reading I don't completely disagree with. That's thanks to how the magazine was created, misogyny, and probably some other stuff.

I quickly checked the next issue and there's... assuredly... good food in there.

By the time I make the next post though, and I will, because otherwise I'd hit the pictures limit in this post, and also it's almost 4am and I should definitely go to sleep sometime soon, I'll have forgotten about that, so to Future!Bliss: I love you, I cherish you and I wish you a happy rediscovery.

So the next time, we check out ASM 213, Annual 14 and What If 24!

It should be fun!