#meant to post this yesterday but I was busy finishing some art

[be-good-to-bugs]

why

[ellethespaceunicorn]

Bright Like The Moon: Chapter 8

Chapter 8: I Was So Much Younger Yesterday

Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI

Fandom: Night Hunter

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Black!OFC

Word count: 3K

Summary: Kamaria Mansfield is hired at the Minnesota Police Department as an intern. Detective Walter Marshall is overworked and unsatisfied. Takes place post-film.

Chapter Summary: It’s time to celebrate Faye’s 16th birthday. Also, Walter works out a way for Kam to practice expressing her needs. 

Chapter warnings: crying, Daddy kink(if you don’t like this, turn back now because damn), slight dumbification kink, oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, p in v sex, creampie, creampie tasting, the term ‘cumslut’ used lovingly

A/N: New Story Art! *cheering and applause* Now, it’s time to get to serious business. Um, I like Angie. And I wrote her like I see her. Also, this chapter gets quite kinky so heed those warnings, please. Un-beta’d, we die like people who tried their best.

Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Support/Reblog banner by me

Cover Art by me, model for Cover Art credits

Cross-posted on AO3

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Kamaria’s POV

Three Months Later

“...Happy Birthday dear Faye, Happy Birthday to You!”

We all cheer as Faye blows out her sixteen candles. Her parents stand by and film their child celebrating with her friends. Angie starts to cut the cake and gives Walter slices to hand out. They work so well together. You’d never know they went through such a rough separation.

Sweet Faye with her curls and her chubby cheeks, looking for all the world like the baby she was. Her purple cocktail dress matches the flower in her hair that I helped her with. 

It was nice to feel like a part of the team, working with Walter and Angie on organizing the party for Faye. But, let’s face it, it was mostly me and Angie doing the planning and Walter nodding along. Angie and I got along well enough, I think she just appreciated that I cared about Faye and that meant more than anything.

Angie says goodbye to the last guests leaving while I finish tidying up Faye’s gift haul. She dozes on the couch curled up on Walter who is snoozing as well. Angie moves a blanket over both of them and comes to help me clear away dishes and any lingering trash.

“I have to thank you for helping out with Faye earlier. She’s in that stage where everything I say is just not ‘cool’ enough,” Angie wipes her hands on a dish towel and looks from Faye’s sleeping form to me, “I remember this time in my life where my little girl valued my opinion above all else. And now it’s like she chooses the exact opposite of what I suggest.”

“Don’t worry. She’ll realize one day that she is so lucky to have a mother who actually wanted her,” I squeeze my eyes closed, deciding to open this old wound, “My mom never wanted to be a mother and she made that abundantly clear by leaving me and my Dad when I was a kid. He was never emotionally available so I had some interesting times in life, to say the least. But, just know that I’m sure she’ll come around. It may be in a year or two, but for now, you have a Daddy’s girl on your hands.” I laugh, trying to lighten the mood. 

I don’t notice Angie coming to my side until she puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder. Having a loving mother next to me offering me comfort is suddenly too much to handle and my eyes start to blur from unshed tears. I begin to protest my emotional reaction but then Angie speaks.

“It doesn’t make you weak to cry when you’re upset.” 

Her hushed words are like a soothing balm on a decades-old burn. One shaky breath is all I take before the tears are streaming down my face. Angie’s face crumbles as well and she wraps her arms around me. I realize that it has been a long time since I’ve had a “Mom hug” and I cling to that warmth as I quietly weep. 

When my sobs turn into sniffles, Angie rubs my back in calming circles. We separate and she cups my cheek in a display of affection. I nod and smile in appreciation before taking a deep breath to collect myself.

Walter and Faye pick this moment to finally wake up. Thank goodness for small favors, they missed my little moment. I wipe my eyes and face quickly before smiling at my boyfriend and his daughter. While Faye is none the wiser, I can see the gears working behind Walter’s eyes. He can always see right through me, but he won’t make his suspicions known until we’re alone. Something I truly love about him, he is not a scene-maker.

I walk over to Faye and give her a big hug before sitting down next to Walter and holding his hand. “How did we do on your big day, sweetheart? I’ll take you falling asleep as you had quite a time.”

“It was perfect. It was everything I wanted. Thanks, Mom and Dad. Thank you, Kam.” The grin never left her sweet face. It is all worth it to see her happiness. 

“You’re welcome, love,” Walter cupped Faye’s face and she beamed back at him. Truly a Daddy’s girl.

“Alright, birthday girl. You are welcome to stay up as long as you like. Just for tonight, that is,” Angie walks over to us and kisses the top of Faye’s head before smiling at Walter and me, “I am going to bed. Thank you both for your help today. Goodnight.” She pats my shoulder before heading upstairs.

If Walter notices our non-verbal exchange, he doesn’t mention it.

“Alright, girlfriend. Who was that adorable kid with the curls? He was cute.” I can’t help but make Faye blush and make Walter roll his eyes. It’s like my talent. 

“That was Albert. He’s in my English class. He likes Federico García Lorca and Mission: Impossible movies. That’s all I needed to know.”

“Which means he either knows enough to seem intelligent or enough to actually be intelligent,” I smile and yawn before stretching.

“On that note, I think it’s time for us to get home and for you to get to bed.” Walter ends the conversation without adding his two cents about this Albert kid. Faye gets the hint and follows suit.

“Yeah, I’m tired anyway. Thanks again, you guys.” Faye yawns sympathetically.

Walter and I leave after hugs and final birthday wishes. On the car ride back to his place, Walter decides to bring up his worries. 

“So, did something happen while Faye and I were out?” He broaches the topic carefully.

“Angie was feeling a bit left out of her daughter’s life. I simply told her that she has a Daddy’s girl on her hands.” I smile at the side of Walter’s face and look back at the road.

Walter surprises me by pulling the car over and turning to face me. “You want to try that again, Princess?” The pet name is enough to put my brain in gear and answer fully.

“I told Angie about how my Mom never wanted me. And then I cried. A lot.” I hated how he was so good at getting me to say what I didn’t want to say. But I had to respect his abilities.

“Why do I always have to work so hard at getting the truth out of you, Princess?” He reaches over to hold my chin between his thumb and forefinger, “You’ll work on that tonight, do you understand?”

“Yes, Daddy. I understand.” Suddenly out of breath, I slip into subspace with ease.

Walter’s POV

I love this woman, I do. But there is nothing harder than getting her to face her emotions. Getting her to tell me when she’s dealing with sadness or anxiety is like pulling teeth. I have literally been in the line of fire before. But getting her to admit when she has cried is harder than any S.W.A.T. mission I have ever been on.

We get back to my place and after her shower, I instruct her to stay undressed. I have her sit on the bed against the headboard. While I undress, I deny her the ability to touch herself. I watch her squirm while I slowly remove my last piece of clothing.

My dick throbs between my legs as I lock eyes with her. She licks her lips and fights the urge to reach out and touch. I settle on her punishment and a little piece of me actually feels sorry for her. This one might wreck her.

“Since it’s so hard for you to be honest about your feelings, we’re going to work on that tonight. You have to express when you have needs. All you have to do is tell me what you need when you need it. You must use your words, Princess. Is that clear?” I cross my arms and look down at her.

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Good girl,” I smile as the praise washes over her, “How do you feel about restraints, baby?”

She shifts on the bed a bit and plays with her hands. “I like being restrained.”

“Good,” I reach into my nightstand and pull out a silk sash before beckoning her to sit at the edge of the bed, “Put your hands together for me, palm to palm,” She does as she’s told and I tie her hands together. “How does that feel? Not too tight?”

“Feels fine,” She scrunches up her nose and looks up at me, “I won’t be able to touch you, though.”

“Yeah. That’s kind of the point, Princess,” I push lightly on her shoulder so she lays down flat and her hands stretch above her head, “Just lie back and let me work. And you tell me when you need more or less, alright?”

She nods and I raise my eyebrows. “Yes, I’ll tell you what I need.”

“Good girl.” I lean down and capture her lips in my own. I poke at the seam of her mouth until she lets me enter. I lick into her mouth, tasting and sucking on her tongue. Moving my kisses to her jaw then to her neck, I suck and bite at her sweet spot until she lets out that precious little moan of hers.

Trailing my tongue across her clavicle, I kiss down her chest and lavish attention on her breasts. These perfect fucking tits I love so much. I kiss both nipples and knead the soft flesh but don’t go any further until I hear a whine. “Use your words, Princess. What do you need?”

“Your tongue…can you suck on my nipples, please?” Her breathing speeds up.

“That’s my good girl.” I swirl my tongue around one nipple while running my thumb over the other. I suck the pebbled peak into my mouth and tease it with my tongue. Suckling at her for a few moments more, I switch to the other side to give just as much attention. I feel her thighs rubbing together in search of friction, so I kiss down her soft belly, stopping to nip at her hips. 

Pulling her legs apart, I can finally see my prize. I want to dive right in, but this is an exercise to have Kamaria tell me what she needs so instead I kiss at her inner thighs for far longer than I normally would have to prove a point.

“Daddy, please eat my pussy.” She pleads, moving her hips closer to my face. Such a good girl for me, and I tell her as much before I kiss her mound and then slide my tongue up and down her wet slit.

“Fuck! You taste amazing, Princess.” My hands grip her thighs tight before I begin to lap at her like a man starved. Her sweet nectar is more than enough to satisfy me and I want to drink her in and never look back. Her whimpers only make me work that much harder. Sucking on her clit, I let my tongue dance against the swollen bud and am rewarded with a squeal. 

“Need your fingers, please.” Such a polite little thing, isn’t she?

“Yes, baby.” I reward her good manners with two fingers straightaway. She’s soaked and they slide in easily. We both groan and I massage that inner bundle of nerves before returning my attention to her clit. I flick my tongue on her button before working my fingers in and out of her core.

“Just like that, don’t stop!” Her words go straight to my dick and I curve my fingers. Before long, I can feel her channel clamp down on my fingers but I keep working at her as her juices coat my hand.

“Too much, too sensitive!” She cries, her body shaking under me. I lift off her clit and still my fingers before licking them clean and wiping them on the comforter.

“You did so good, Princess,” I kiss up her body and nibble at her neck, “But I’m not done with you yet, baby.” I get up from my spot between her legs and move her to the center of the bed. Maneuvering her on her side, I slide up behind her and lift her leg. I enter her swiftly and we moan in tandem.

I pull back out until just the tip is inside then I slam back in. Gripping her hip, I start a punishing pace inside her walls. The way her cunt squeezes me is like paradise. She was made to take my dick. I was made to claim her pussy.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,” All she can utter is a string of curses and I feel triumphant that I fucked language right out of her brain.

“That’s right, Princess. Let this dick fuck you stupid, baby,” No sooner do I finish that sentence do I feel her walls flutter around me, “Oh does my baby like being fucked dumb on Daddy’s dick?” The answering whine tells me all I need to know. Adding ‘dumbification’ to the list of kinks my baby girl has.

Pulling out and moving Kam onto her back, I get to my knees and push her legs open, Entering her again, I reach up and hold her bound hands in one fist. From this angle, I can slam into her and stimulate her clit at the same time.

“Need to…touch you. Please…Daddy?” Her words are punctuated by thrusts, the look of yearning in her eyes.

I pull the knot free on the sash. Her hands immediately go to my hair to tug me down for a kiss. I can taste her desire and hunger for closeness. I growl into her mouth and she whimpers back. Her legs wrap around my waist and pull me in deeper. We pull apart from the kiss and rest our foreheads together.

“Tell me what you need, baby girl.” At this point, I am panting. So close to release. I just need to hear her say she needs it.

“Look at me while you cum inside me, Daddy,” This little brat actually smiles up at me as she shatters me.

“Fuck!” The dam breaks and my hold on reality fucks all the way off. My eyes search hers while I empty my balls into her waiting cunt. I keep stroking inside her and the sensation is heightened once I feel her come around me. She could gonna be the death of me, and I’d love every minute of it.

I lean down and slot our mouths together as I pull out. I swallow her whimper at the feeling of emptiness before I look down to see her thoroughly ruined snatch. My cum still leaks out and I can’t help but feel proud to see her so full. I smile down at her before getting up from the bed.

I clean up a bit in the bathroom before fetching a damp washcloth. Entering the room again, I find Kam lazily playing with herself. “Enjoying yourself, Princess?” I reach down and clean her gently.

“I love how sensitive I am right now. It feels so good.” Her eyes roll back in her head as my hand moves over her folds.

“Do you think you can give me one more orgasm, Princess?” I know I might be pushing it, but seeing her so aroused is making it worth asking.

“Yes, please, Daddy. I wanna cum again for you.” 

That was all I needed to hear before I’m between her legs again. I lean down to lap at her slit. Tasting my spend and her juices mixed together is heavenly. Can’t believe I’ve never done this before. By the surprised moans coming from Kam, I’d say she was enjoying this as well. 

After making out with her pussy for a while, my fingers find their way inside her tight wet heat. Curving my fingers as I move them in and out, I’m rewarded soon after with a strangled moan and her walls fluttering around my fingers. I wait until the convulsing stops to remove my fingers. A dirty thought enters my head and I run with it.

“Open your mouth, Princess,” As she follows direction, I lock eyes with her as I put my slick-coated fingers in her mouth until they disappear, “Such a good girl for me. Sucking our cum off my fingers like the hungry little cumslut you are.”

She moans around my fingers and if I didn’t literally just cum a liter, I’d be balls-deep in her again. When I remove my fingers from her mouth, she actually whines in protest. I can’t help but kiss that adorable pout before grabbing the washcloth again to wipe away the evidence of her arousal.

I throw the cloth in the hamper and lay down next to my love. I check her wrists to make sure the sash didn’t dig in too deep before kissing her forehead. “How’s my baby feeling?”

“I feel amazing. Spectacular,” She stretches and cuddles into my chest as I wrap an arm around her, “I think that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

“I’m right there with you. I probably fried a few brain cells but it was so worth it,” I hold her chin and bring her gaze up, “I’m also proud of you for saying what you needed. Now, we just have to get you to do that out of the bedroom.”

“Practice makes perfect, right?” There’s my little brat.

“Cheeky. But not wrong. We’ll work on it together, yeah?” I say, pulling the comforter over both of us as Kam’s eyes start to close, “Love you, Princess.”

“Mhm,” Her short answer lets me know that she is absolutely fucked out and I’m chuffed, “Love you, Daddy.”

Her fingers work their way through my chest hair, something I’ve noticed as a comfort activity for her. If I was a cat, I’d be purring every time she does it. But if she ever found out how much I liked it, she’d probably use it against me somehow. Little minx.

I listen as her breathing evens out and I’m not far behind. I can safely say today was a good day. Nothing can ruin this feeling.

Can it?

Chapter 9

A/N: Ehehehe, that ending sounded menacing at all, did it…? Well, anyway. This chapter’s song was “Starving” by Hailee Steinfeld & Grey. “Starving” is about a relationship that’s getting more adventurous in and outside of the bedroom. I really enjoy writing in Walter’s POV, especially the kinky stuff. Hopefully, you enjoyed it too. 

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[profchamomile]

//first chamomile off-screen scene in a while! Meant to post this yesterday but didn't finish rip. Hope you enjoy!

//feat. my other character: @kidresearcherindigo

September 20, 2:00pm

"It's good to have you come visit us again," said Director Clavell, walking down the hall with Chamomile in their wheelchair by his side, along with Queenie closeby. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, muuuch better!" said Chamomile, "I recovered a little bit ago; I just wanted to give it a little extra time to make sure it's out of my system. Illness and I do not mix well!"

Clavell nodded. "That's quite understandable," he said, "Though I do wish you had told me. I would have been more than happy to help care for the young Pokemon while you recover."

"Oh it's okay really; I know how busy you tend to be," said Chamomile, waving their hand briefly in a nonchalant manner, "Besides, caring for Pokemon doesn't just stop when you're under the weather, so I consider the experience a key part of my research!"

Clavell stared at them with a concerned expression as they spoke, but then sighed, and smiled. "Your dedication is admirable," he said, "It's safe to say Larry was right about your work ethic. But do try your best not to-"

A horrible wailing sound could be heard from the opposite direction the two were headed.

"Oh dear, what was that??" Asked Chamomile, looking up at Clavell.

"That sounded like Hassel," said Clavell, looking back at the professor, "Sincerest apologies Professor Chamomile, but I have to make sure everything's alright."

"Oh of course; I'll come with you," Chamomile called out as Clavell had already begun to hurry off. They looked over at Queenie, taking out a Luxury Ball with a seashell sticker on it. "Queenie, can we switch?"

"Slooooow," Queenie answered with a definite nod, before Chamomile returned her to her Pokeball. They brought out another Luxury ball that had a fire sticker on it, and brought out Ignis.

"Hi Ignis!" said Chamomile, giving the Arcanine a quick neckscratch as they hooked his harness up to the leash on their wheelchair. Then they pointed to Clavell, who was already some distance ahead. "Ignis, follow!"

Immediately, Ignis began pulling Chamomile wheelchair, running just fast enough to follow right behind Clavell as the three turned the corner to rush over to the art room.

Upon entering the art room, Hassel could be seen sitting on the floor, with at least 20 Grafaiai climbing all over him, and a crowd of students watching.

"H- Hassel??" Clavell stared at the sight, rather startled at the sight of the art teacher absolutely covered in poison-type Pokemon. "What happened?"

"It's alright, it's alright!" Indigo, a student known for their tomfoolery around the school, stepped forward with their arms spread out between Clavell and Hassel. "Their hands are clean! We all made sure of it!"

Chamomile looked around at the room, noticing the other students, as well as the canvases and plates piled with various berries. They had recognized several of the students - Arven, Penny, Nemona, and several oddly dressed students that they'd come to know as 'Team Star' members.

Nemona waved at Chamomile. "Hola Professor~," she said, "Did you bring the baby Pokémon with you?"

"Hey Nemona," said Chamomile, waving back, "I did, yes, but they're busy Pokeball training right now. I'll let them out in the schoolyard later!"

"But on the topic of... This, however," they continued, gesturing at all the canvases, "Is this the 'Grafaiai Painting Contest' I saw Indigo advertising online?"

"Yyyyup," said Arven, "This is the Great Grafaiai Paintathon!"

"We're uh... Just here to help supervise, honestly," added Penny, her tone slightly quiet. "Plus I wanted to support Team Star's poison crew."

"The what?" Clavell looked over at Chamomile in confusion.

"Grafaiai painting contest," Indigo chimed in, "I planned to do this during lunch hour so it didn't disrupt class time, all the Grafaiais are owned by Trainers, and they all painted on only the canvases so there was no damage to the room! That means it's legal riiiiiiight?"

"Well, I... I suppose so, yes," said Clavell, "But I do wish I had been notified of this event. I would have happily approved it and helped spread word, you know, a simple lunchtime activity like this doesn't have to be kept secret."

"Well I would have," said Indigo, "But that would risk having Hassel find out about it, and we really wanted it to be a surprise!"

"They planned this for meeeeee...." Hassel managed to get out, still sobbing on the floor yet otherwise unfazed by the Grafaiais using him as a playground.

"Yeah, check it out!" A Team Star grunt walked over to one of the canvases and picked it up, turning it around to show Clavell. The picture appeared to be a rather goofy portrait that vaguely bore a resemblance to the art teacher himself. "This is what my Grafaiai, Acryllic, did! We already come here any time we can to paint; Acryllic's crazy about Señor Hassel!"

"Same here!" said another student, walking over to a canvas to reveal another painting. This one looked more like a Grafaiai painted with Hassel's colors. "I think mine thinks of Hassel as a big Grafaiai because he can paint!"

One by one, more students went over to show Clavell and Chamomile their Grafaiai's painting, and sure enough, every single one was a depiction of Sr. Hassel himself.

"Everyone did it to show respect for Sr. Hassel," explained Arven, "It was all Indigo's idea, too; we just helped set up. I provided the berries..."

"I helped get word out," said Penny.

"And I got the room set up for it all!" exclaimed Nemona.

"Awwww!" Chamomile grinned, putting one hand on their cheek. "That's so sweet! And might I say, you've got some talented contestants!"

"It's the... N- nicest thing my students have ever done for me," said Hassel, momentarily calming his cries before they picked back up again. "But I DON'T HAVE ROOM TO DISPLAY THEM ALLLLLLL!"

"Yeahhhh, honestly this event ended up being way bigger than I thought," said Indigo, placing a hand on their chin. "Didn't realize Grafaiai was such a popular Pokemon among art students."

"I mean to be fair... Most of the Poison Crew in Team Star are art students," explained Penny, "Anyway... Maybe you could take some of them home, señor Hassel?"

"But... They all deserve recognition," said Hassel, gently hugging an armful of Grafaiai, "These Grafaiai worked so hard; they should get to enjoy the fruits of their labors!"

"I mean..." Indigo walked over to a plateful of berries set down on a table next to a canvas stand, picked up an aspear berry and shrugged. "I think they did!"

Arven snickered.

Clavell laughed for a second before clearing his throat. "Well, since they did work so hard on it, I'm sure we can arrange a proper display for it."

"Let's get a display case," one student called out.

"We can put them in the lobby," said another.

"Let's display them at the center of Mesagoza!" a third student suggested.

"Let's ask Brassius for a place to display them in Artazon," suggested Nemona.

"Nah, let's go bigger," said Indigo, "How about Levincia?"

"Your students are ambitious, Director," said Chamomile with a chuckle, as the students continued suggesting methods to display the paintings, "You should be proud!"

"Oh, believe me," said Clavell as he watched the students discuss among themselves with a fond smile, "They're the pride and joy of my career."

Hassel smiled at the director's words and took a moment to recollect himself before standing up. While most of the Grafaiai let go of him and skittered away to either return to their trainers or eat any leftover berries, there were a few that still clung to his arms.

"I couldn't agree more, Director Clavell," said Hassel, before he turned to the students. "I must say, while I'm extraordinarily flattered that you all wish for these displays to be presented with such grandeur, I would quite prefer that they do not stray far from this room."

"That way, I would be able to see them every day," he continued, "And be reminded of how much this class means to everyone here. Even the little ones." Hassel booped the nose of one of the Grafaiai who had still been clinging to his arm.

"Well, in that case..." Arven stepped forward. "How about we put a display in the hallway, just outside of the classroom?"

Chamomile clasped their hands together joyfully. "Oh that's a wonderful idea, Arven!" They said, before smiling at the Director. "Wouldn't you agree, Clavell?"

"Yeah Director, could we do it??" Nemona put her hands together and stared at Clavell with a pleading face. "Pleeeeaaaaaase?"

"Prettly pleeeeaaaase?" Indigo immediately joined in, standing next to Nemona, also pleading. One of the Grafaiai still clinging to Hasssel jumped off and revealed itself to be a Zoroark by transforming into a second Indigo and to join in on the pleading.

"C'mon Director, please?" said Arven, now joining in on the pleading, "Do it for your favorite students!"

"Or do it for Sr. Hassel," said Penny, taking on a more subtle yet apparent pleading expression of her own."You know it'd make him reeeaaaally happy!"

"Yeah Director, come on, can we do it?"

"Pretty please with a cheri berry on top?"

"It'd look so great out there!"

The rest of the students joined in, shouting various pleas to sway the director. Many of their Grafaiais also joined in, staring at the Director, staring as though they were trying to pull off the move 'Baby Doll Eyes'.

"Wh-..." The Director had been stunned speechless, as he looked over to Professor Chamomile, who simply smiled back.

"Now, how can you say no to those faces?" they said, playfully nudging Clavell's arm, "I think they deserve this.

Clavell laughed. "But of course, of course," he said, "It is indeed a marvelous idea! Hassel, what do you think of it?"

"Wholeheartedly, I couldn't agree more," said Hassel. "We'll set up a display first thing tomorrow."

The students all cheered in victory. Indigo high-fived their doppelganger, who finally revealed themself to be Luna, the shiny Zoroark.

At that moment, the school bell rang over the speakers.

"Alright, time for everyone to get to class," said Hassel, "I can handle cleaning up, as this setup should work just fine for my next class. I'll just switch out the canvases."

As the students recalled their Pokemon and waved goodbye to the adults and made their way out of the class, Clavell approached Hassel, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Would you like some help cleaning up?" He asked, "We can set the artworks wherever you see fit."

Chamomile looked over to their arcanine, bringing out his pokeball. "Ignis, can we switch?"

Ignis let out a quiet "boof" in confirmation before Chamomile returned him to his Pokéball and brought out Queenie once again.

"Hi Queenie," said Chamomile.

"Slooooow," Queenie greeted.

Chamomile turned back to Hassel. "We can help too, if you'd like!"

"That would be much appreciated," said Hassel with a thankful smile, before he walked over to one of the canvases as his rotom phone flew out of his pocket. "I just want to photograph all these artworks. I simply must show Brassie!"

"Of course," said Clavell, picking up some of the empty berry plates. "I do have to say, that seemed to have brought out quite a bit of emotions, even for you."

"Even for him??" Asked Chamomile, seeming genuinely surprised by the implication that such a reaction was not an uncommon occurrence. Then they looked over at Hassel, with an embarrassed and apologetic expression. "S- sorry, I don't mean to be rude! You just... Seemed so stoic when we first met during my job interview."

Hassel laughed. "It's alright; I've been often told I give off that impression," he said, "But truthfully, it's as Clavell said earlier: the students are my pride and joy of this career. I get overjoyed when I see how much they've learned and grown as people, and, well, it's hard to contain all that emotion."

"But it is also true that this was indeed quite overwhelming, even for me," he continued, as he took a moment to pick up one of the canvases and examine the painting. "It was around this time last year that I almost quit teaching altogether."

"Ah yes, I remember," said Clavell, "It's quite hard to believe that had a whole year!"

"What happened?" asked Chamomile, as they they went around collecting some of the supplies that were still out with Queenie's help.

"Well you see, I come from a prestigious family of dragon tamers," Hassel explained, "I was meant to be the heir to family and lead it to greatness, as according to my relatives. However, I felt that the life was not fit for me, so I ran away when I was but a child."

Chamomile listened intently in silence, as Hassel explained.

"I vowed to make a living with music," said Hassel, his tone becoming more enthusiastic, "But as I grew up, everything I had experienced led me astray from that dream, and I found that my true calling was in art and inspiring others to take their lives and make it their own, rather than follow a predetermined path laid out for them!"

"In result, I became a teacher, many years ago, and found it to be a rewarding experience. Now, fast forward to about a year ago, a relative of mine came to me, and told me that my father - the current leader of my family, was in poor health." Hassel crossed his arms as his expression grew more annoyed. "Before long I had found out that the story my relative spun was a great exaggeration, but at the time I had truly believed it, and I was so close to resigning so that I could tend to my father and fulfill the role that my family had decided for me from the very beginning."

"Funny enough, many of the students who participated in this surprise event were the same ones who filled me with the courage to decline my family's request for me to return. And to this day, I do not regret that decision." He took a moment to quickly wipe away the tears welling up in his eyes before he continued speaking. "And yet... Having these students express their gratitude with such a-... A grand gesture-..."

Upon hearing some soft sobbing, Hassel looked over at Chamomile to see that there were tears already streaming down their own face. "Oh... Moved by my story, are you, young professor?"

Clavell looked over at Chamomile with a concerned expression. "Are you alright, Mx. Chamomile?"

"Y- yeah, I'm alright..." Chamomile quickly wiped away their own tears and took a deep breath. "I suppose it just took me by surprise, that our experiences are so similar."

"Is that so?" asked Hassel, raising his eyebrows in surprise, tilting his head in fascination.

"Yeah... But um-" Chamomile fidgeted with their sleeves bashfully. "It's a part of my past that I would prefer stays in my past."

"Ah." Hassel held up a hand with the palm facing Chamomile's direction. "Say no more, I completely understand. For what it's worth however, whatever you had gone through, I'm glad that your path led you to us."

"I agree," said Director Clavell, "It's been a pleasure working with you so far."

"Please, you're giving me too much credit," said Chamomile, "I've barely even started."

"That may be true," said Hassel, "But your field of research is quite inspiring. I look forward to the potential you bring for the future of Pokemon care!"

"Thank you," said Chamomile, "I'll try my best!"

[radleymadish]

scoopian from a dream I had the other night, can’t really remember too much about it besides betty’s name being in it, albeit with her last name being wrong (it was something like baerie instead of pecan)

[shijiujun]

[END 2020] My Top 9 Danmei Novel Picks of the Year

As a part of my Round Up post for the year, here’s my pick of favourite danmei novels, that I’ve read! This is sort of an accompaniment to my previous danmei rec list over HERE, so there may be one or two overlaps, but I’ve read WAY MORE after that and am prepared to like give more options here 

Note: There should be English translations for all via novel updates if you do a search of the English name, but I don’t think most of them are completed.

If you wanna see my full reading and queue list (it’s all in Chinese tho, for my own records), it’s here.

I’m leaving out the usual MXTX and Priest ones, because they’re already good and we all know that and there’re many carrds and posts dedicated to them.

I am also a sucker for fainting but smart men, and not too overly angsty/complicated storylines, just putting it out there first, which is why I haven’t read a lot of some of the ones on my queue list.

-------

1. 一剑霜寒 | A Sword of Frost by 语笑阑珊

Summary: Jing Yan Ran is the Emperor’s brother and wields military power in the novel, and it starts with an object being stolen from the palace. Jing Yan Ran has to retrieve the item secretly, and so enlists the help of Feng Yu Sect’s Sect Master, Yun Yi Feng, who heads the martial arts world’s one and only information trading post. Yun Yi Feng does not deal in business that involves any royalty, but Jing Yan Ran offers him something he cannot refuse - the Blood Red Lingzhi, a rare and mystical herb that is rumoured to be able to treat his life-threatening condition. 

Yun Yi Feng was used by his shifu when he was younger to test out all kinds of poisons and cures, and since then, his body flushes dangerously hot and cold frequently, with bouts of severe coughing fits in between. Throughout the first mission where he spends time with Jing Yan Ran searching for the stolen object, he allows Jing Yan Ran to take care of him, and they fall in LURVE pretty much like 10 chapters in.

Of course, they have to uncover a plot and conspiracy against their enemies who are plotting to dethrone the Emperor, and also reveal the secrets of Yun Yi Feng’s birth.

My Thoughts: AN ABSOLUTE FAVE AND GEM, I’d say this is my favourite danmei novel ever. This is both hilarious and tears-inducing, to be honest, because for most of the novel YYF knows he doesn’t have long to live and so in the beginning he knows of his own feelings for JYR and JYR also shows him that he loves him, but he is unable to officially reciprocate because he knows his body is like weakening day by day. Halfway through the fear that he’s literally about to die as they are JUST about to find the cure is real, and damn I cried so much at that. Some highlights:

YYF falls asleep very easily in baths and everywhere actually, and pretty much within the first 10 chapters he gets used to JYR carrying him around (even naked from the bath, he’s like oh well, okay cool) and taking care of him, and JYR ALWAYS makes sure he is warm and toasty under his cape

YYF LOVESSSS RICHES, PLAYING THE ZITHER AND COOKING - He’s good at gathering the first one, but he FUCKING SUCKS AS THE LAST TWO - It’s so funny because he’s so beautiful and handsome right, and when he sits down at the zither everyone is like OH DAMN WHAT A DREAM- and then he plays, and everyone’s fantasies is shattered, he’s ABYSMAL at it, and the same goes for cooking

JYR doesn’t actually have the Blood Red Lingzhi, and throughout the first arc, he feels SO DAMN GUILTY because YYF even carved out a pendant that looks like what he thinks the herb looks like, and like carries it with him everywhere LMAO

Available: Novel Online and Manhua on Bilibili

2. 高能二维码 | High Energy QR Code by 青色羽翼

Summary: CEO Xing Ye’s brother Xing Shuo has just passed away at the age of 24, and nothing will make him believe that Xing Shuo died of natural causes despite autopsies and experts telling him that he really died simply of a heart failure. Xing Ye, who has impeccable memory, suddenly recalls the last time he saw Xing Shuo. His brother called out to him just before Xing Ye left for a business trip, and looked as if he had something to say, but ended up just wishing him a safe trip.

At that moment, there was a QR code on Xing Shuo’s phone, and the phone screen was strangely turned out towards Xing Ye, and Xing Ye, with his incredibly high IQ and memory, realizes that Xing Shuo wanted him to see the QR code. Quickly, he reproduces the QR code by pen and then scans it, and finds himself in a game world.

There he meets a narcissistic but also cute mirror which can speak, and finds out later that his name is Lu Ming Ze. Xing Ye’s mission is to clear the game missions in each round that is set by the black and white cubic game system, a system that continuously tempts its players into giving in to committing sins such as killing someone else, stealing and other things. He soon realizes that if he cannot stay on a path clear of these sins, he will never be able to triumph over the game system and return Lu Ming Ze back to his body in the real world. 

At the same time, he gains new teammates and friends for life, and also finds out what role his brother played in this game. 

My Thoughts: MY GOD I LOVE THIS. I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED READING THIS YESTERDAY, and honestly it’s one of my faves. I don’t like game systems very often (I’ve read three others so far, and this, and KOD are the only ones I’ve liked) but this one is *chef’s kiss*. So LMZ was born like with a really handsome face, like SUPER HANDSOME, and that’s why he’s like a harmless narcissist that cannot bear to look at ugly things LMAO, but he’s not spoilt, he makes sure that Xing Ye stays true to himself, and help him keep his head clear. 

THE ONLY THING ABOUT THIS FRICKIN NOVEL IS THAT LU MING ZE STAYS A MIRROR, LIKE DIFFERENT KINDS OF MIRRORS, in the first TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY CHAPTERS. I KID YOU NOT. I FRICKIN KID YOU NOT. I swear I was sooo touched starved at the end of the novel, because they couldn’t even kiss?!! Like Xing Ye kisses the mirror, and then uses his thumbs to like hi-five mini LMZ in the mirror back, they can’t even hug. Do you know how empty my arms felt when I read this book?!! And my arms have never been filled!!!!!!

I really like this one because each game world is set up in such a brilliant way, but it’s not so unnecessarily complex that you literally don’t know what the fuck is going on. Xing Ye’s intelligence as he outmanoeuvres every single one of his enemies and convinces his would-be loyal teammates to trust him is so satisfying, world after world, victory after victory.

Humour is also absolutely ON POINT. A lot of it is centred on Xing Ye getting caught in the real world kissing his handheld mirror (LMZ) by LMZ’s parents (who cannot see him in the mirror) and LMZ’s parents going like ???!!!!!!!! 

Available: Novel Online | Physical Novel is coming out on 10 Dec (freebies are, you guessed it, a mirror)

3. 妻为上 | The Wife is First by 绿野千鹤

Summary: This is set in a historical setting where men can marry other men, but it’s usually reserved for sons who were not borne by the official main first wife of the patriarch of the family, i.e. a son born by a concubine in a family may be forced to marry a man to keep him from being able to become the next family’s patriarch for example. This is because any family’s next leader needs to be able to have children with a wife who married in as a zheng shi (lawful wife), and not a ce shi (second wife) or any other concubines/mistresses etc. Most of these men who marry other men have to take them as their zheng shi and lawful spouse in a sense, and the same goes for the royal family.

The story starts with third prince Jing Shao, who was forced to marry Mu Han Zhang, a Marquis’ second son, by the Empress and Emperor, thereby officially and effectively cutting him out of the race for the throne. He’s mocked by the public as everyone knows what this means, and for the next 10 years, he neglects Mu Han Zhang, blaming him for his predicament, and deliberately showers his three other concubines with affection in front of him, but 10 years later, when Jing Shao is accused of treason, everyone leaves him except for Mu Han Zhang. They are chased to the edge of the cliff by soldiers, and Mu Han Zhang dies in his arms having taken an arrow meant for him earlier, and Jing Shao jumps off the cliff with his dead body, and promises that if there’s a next life, he will do everything Han Zhang says, and love him.

He wakes up immediately on the night of his marriage with Han Zhang, and realizes that he’s been given a second chance to make everything right. Han Zhang is definitely afraid of him, humiliated and angry when he first wakes up after how rough Jing Shao was with him earlier on their wedding night, and he has no memories of their past life. Jing Shao then sets to SHOWER HAN ZHANG with affection, love and basically everything, because he realized that this is the only person who stayed by his side until the end, and then he falls in love with Han Zhang properly this time, and also deals with every single person who maligned and schemed against him in his previous life, with Han Zhang by his side.

My Thoughts: OKAY BEFORE YALL GO INTO THE ‘WIFE’ terminology discourse and everything, in this case they do use the term ‘wife’ literally, and it’s a position, that while men frequently fall into (there are a lot of male ‘wives’ in this story), is also used to cut off like sons from inheriting the family and the fortune, and even titles. Male ‘wives’ aren’t looked down upon in this setting, in fact, Han Zhang gets a lot of leeway as one, and in his case he was also able to rise up the ranks to be an actual official later on, but the sad thing comes from sons who are most of the time forced to marry a male ‘wife’ for whatever reason, and then they are neglected as the son goes and find concubines, women he actually wants to sleep with - this is sad af yall. I don’t know, on one hand, yay for equality in marriage in this setting, but on the other hand like, damn, must you use same-sex marriage like that argh.

ANYWAY THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVES TOO?!!! I mean, especially when Jing Shao literally just goes into doting mode 200% and Han Zhang is totally like wtf why is he so nice to me is he scheming or something? And then he realizes that Jing Shao is really, really gentle towards him despite his reputation as a cruel, dark military commander, and Jing Shao always smiles at him. In any situation, especially in the beginning, when Han Zhang thought Jing Shao would not stand with him, Jing Shao literally just protects him no matter what, gives him everything, and cries, I love it. 

Especially because Han Zhang is the son of a concubine and he was bullied a lot in the Mu family, and the official Lady Mu married him off to Jing Shao in hopes that he would be unhappy for the rest of his life, and I suppose that came true in the first life, but in the second, Han Zhang gets all the love, respect and support he never got before in this family with Jing Shao and that makes me WEEP.

Available: Novel Online and Manhua on Kuaikan

4. 死亡万花筒 Kaleidoscope of Death by 西子绪

OOOH I intro-ed KOD here in my previous rec list. Still one of my faves and all-time re-reads, especially under the covers in the dark hehehe.

5. 你的距离 | Your Distance by 公子优 

Summary: Ting Shuang is a student at a German university, and has this handsome professor Bai Chang Yi who he swears kind of hates him. He’s just broken up with his longtime boyfriend, and then goes on this dating app that matches a profile with him based on distance. The app can also show the matched profile’s distance from him once they enter the same area, and Ting Shuang starts chatting with this Chinese guy on the app, who he finds out later, is 36 years old, 187cm in height and wears glasses. 

The guy is a little aloof and cool, very mature in his replies on the app, and somehow Bai Chang Yi finds out who he is later, as Ting Shuang starts complaining to him about his professor to Bai Chang Yi. Instead of getting angry and offended, BCY is pretty much amused and finds Ting Shuang cute. A few days later Ting Shuang finally realizes who it is he’s been texting, and after getting past the initial embarrassment and fear, they start dating for real, and they really fall in love!!!!! 

My Thoughts: This is sweet and also hilarious af, if you need to like satisfy your sweet tooth, this is definitely one for you. It’s really funny because Bai Chang Yi runs in the same circles as Ting Shuang’s dad, who he’s estranged from because the dad doesn’t want to recognize a son who is gay, and then BCY convinces him later in the funniest of ways, and there’s a small subplot at the end in which Ting Shuang is pretty cool, and yep, short and sweet! BCY in the manhua is handsome af too guys ;-;

Available: Novel Online, Audio Drama on Maoer FM and Manhua on Bilibili, 

6. 神木挠不尽 The White Cat’s Divine Scratching Post by 绿野千鹤

Summary: Mo Tian Liao, a weapons forger and master who ruled the Demon Tribe, was hunted down and killed by other righteous sects in the region when he managed to forge an incredibly destructive weapon that could end the world. Before he died, he placed the only thing he loved, a white cat, into a hole in the tree behind him to protect it. The only thing he was grateful for was that he did not create a blood pact with the cat, Xiao Mao, because if he had done so, when he died, Xiao Mao would have died along with him as well.

Right before he dies, unbeknownst to him, Xiao Mao who is no simple demonic cat, wraps part of his consciousness around Mo Tian Liao, and MTL’s spirit ends up floating about for 300 years, until he finds a suitable time to return with a body made out of a special tree and its wood. The first thing he does, of course, is to find his white cat, but he’s poor, and the body he has isn’t powerful, so he joins Wo Yun Sect, the only sect that did not hunt him down that day hundreds of years ago.

There, he is chosen by Qing Tong shizun to be his direct disciple, much to the astonishment of other shizuns in the sect, and Qing Tong’s shixiongs. MTL has never seen a person as beautiful and gorgeous as his shizun, and if only he could find that cat (who’s actually his shizun, who recognizes him and protects him, even if MTL doesn’t actually need much protection).

My Thoughts: This was hilarious as well, and so romantic?!!! Qing Tong/Xiao Mao waited for MTL to come back, and the moment he came back, Qing Tong was there ready to grab him, and then before he went to sleep that night, Qing Tong thought to himself, “I’ve gotten my person back, I can sleep well now” and AHHHHH at this point they weren’t even like a couple yet? MTL ‘kidnapped’ Qing Tong when he was a young demon cat by accident because he likes pretty things (like his shizun lmao) and Qing Tong is attached to him because MTL never forced a blood pact on him, and gave him everything he wanted as a younger cat before MTL died. Gosh, a mirror in #2 and then a cat now with this one. XD

Available: Novel Online

7. 破云 | Breaking the Clouds by 淮上

Summary: Three years ago, Captain Jiang Ting and his team of the Narcotics division perished in an explosion due to a wrong call of his, and he returns three years later under a new identity ready to deal with the people who set him and his team up. He’s caught in what seems to be a simple murder case almost immediately and meets Yan Xie, who’s Vice Captain and in charge of this case. Yan Xie realizes who Jiang Ting is shortly after, and begins to unravel the huge mystery surrounding the events of three years ago, and falls in love with Jiang Ting along the way as well.

My Thoughts: Okay out of the FOUR crime/detective/thriller danmei novels I’ve read, the poyun and tunhai (below) series is the one that MIRRORS actual narcotics division and undercovers the best. It has the complexity and depth of the drugs/narcotics world, and both this one and its sequel focuses a lot on the position of an undercover and mole. I liked this one a lot because there are SOOOO many twists especially in the last arc, like you honestly won’t see any of them coming until it hits you? And Yan Xie is such a confident, rich-ass narcissist, and he keeps asking Jiang Ting if he can “just touch” him ONCE lmao, he’s thick-skinned af, but that’s why he and Jiang Ting are so compatible ;-;.

Available: Novel Online, Novel Print, Audio Drama and Manhua on Bilibili

8. 吞海 | Swallowing the Sea by 淮上

Summary: Sequel to Po Yun. Yu Wu is a young-looking new detective under Captain Bu Chong Hua’s narcotics team. Bu Chong Hua is Yan Xie’s cousin by actual relation, but brother in relationship because BCH’s parents died early and Yan Xie’s parents have been taking care of him mostly. He cannot stand Yu Wu, who seems to want to coast through at work and keep to a 9-5 work schedule. 

It’s only after an altercation and Yu Wu dumping his nonchalant facade to snarl at BCH that he realizes that YW is actually more interesting and mysterious than he thought, and he begins to try to get close to him, understand him. It turns out that Yu Wu is a famous undercover who nearly died a year ago during an operation, and due to various reasons, he was assigned to BCH’s team by higher ups so he can peacefully live the rest of his life out there. However, his past catches up with him quickly, and his enemies turning up forces him to rely on BCH. 

With BCH, Yu Wu’s resentment of having to be an undercover in the past and being so easily discarded by his team’s leaders, and of him being forced to be in the shadows while others can announce their achievements to the world, is slowly erased, because BCH sees him, knows him, and understands him more than anyone else.

My Thoughts: I actually liked this one better than the first one - Yu Wu is such a pouty, angry little thing?! And for good reason (there’s a bit of cannibalism in the book, not by choice when he was younger and in a poor village in Cambodia, where some militants forced survivors in the village to eat the meat of boiled corpses of other villagers, so YW is a vegetarian, like if he eats meat he gets really sick) and the twists here are even more amazing?! BCH really, really, devotes himself to YW the moment he realizes how much he likes him, doing a 180 degree turn. Instead of Yan Xie’s flamboyance, BCH is much steadier, grouchy, like an old uncle, but also looks at things even more clearly than Yan Xie does sometimes. Yu Wu is understandably bitter about what he had to go through, and BCH is the ONLY person who can calm him down, whom he listens to, which I LOVE. Some highlights:

Yu Wu grew up in a poor village and thus loves money, and he fights in underground betting rings to earn more money - The stash of hidden money he collects I think is half for his escape money, but if he happens to never need it, his dream is to donate the money to his village so they can open up a school there - ANYWAY because Yan Xie’s parents, and technically BCH’s ‘parents’ are soooooo rich right, Yan Xie’s mom shows her approval to her son-in-laws (Jiang Ting first, then Yu Wu), by giving them winter pants. It’s kind of like inside warmers, and usually meant for older ladies to wear LOLOL so Yu Wu was like staring at the pants when he finally got them and looked soooo reluctant until Jiang Ting told him it costs $6,000 AND HE WAS LIKE :333333 okie

He acts a lot like a kid?!! He likes eating like some snack but it’s really unhealthy for him, and BCH the mother hen keeps catching him in weird places like the toilet, where he’s hiding from BCH so he can eat his fave snack?! And the whole police station knows not to give YW what he wants in terms of snacks and smokes because once BCH finds out, he makes life very difficult for them HAHAHAHA

9. 穿成反派如何活命 | How to Survive as A Villain by 伊依以翼

Summary: Rich and handsome CEO Xiao Yu An finds out he has a terminal illness (cancer), and dies while he’s reading this online novel, where a king mistreats the crown prince from a neighbouring state which sent him over as hostage after losing a war, and ends up being killed by the crown prince years later (SVSSS much?!). He wakes up AS THE KING, and afraid of dying, he immediately goes about befriending the prince, Yan He Qing. Yan He Qing falls in love with Xiao Yu An while being his friend/hostage/bodyguard, and Xiao Yu An tries to avoid all the deaths he read in the book, while making sure Yan He Qing manages to find his three/four wives, including Xiao Yu An’s sister.

Of course, because Xiao Yu An showed him warmth and kindness, Yan He Qing ends up falling for him instead, and Xiao Yu An is an absolute oblivious idiot because he REALLY doesn’t realize until much later. Yan He Qing ends up declaring war on Xiao Yu An’s kingdom because he is duty bound to do so, but doesn’t hurt Xiao Yu An, wanting to keep him by his side, but YHQ’s scheming uncle drives a wedge between them, and XYA leaves, breaking YHQ’s heart.

They meet again a few years later, where XYA is training to be a physician in a small village and chances upon a severely injured YHQ. There, he realizes that it was all a misunderstanding, and that YHQ actually LIKES, LIKES him, but before they can enjoy this short period of happiness, disaster strikes again.

My Thoughts: THIS WAS really enjoyable, and with the manhua visuals, it is *chef’s kiss*. I think this transmigration version actually delved into the part where XYA is unable to change everything, and if he saves one person, someone else is destined to die, and that moral dilemma devastates him a lot. In this novel he actually transmigrates TWICE, once into the king’s body, and the second time into a neighbouring state’s prince/king’s body, who looks exactly like his modern self after. YHQ is real sweet to him istg, and I like that the epilogues are SUPER EXTENSIVE, including an arc where YHQ and XYA transmigrate back to the real world and everyone who died is alive and close to them, and gets their happy ending ;-;

Available: Novel Online and Manhua on Bilibili

[theinvisibledreamergirl]

She’s thunderstorms

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Helena Craig) x M!OC (Clay Banner)

Words count: 2.5 k

Warning: 🔞 content/Language

Category: Angst/AU

A.N: Part two of A Triangle of Love Series. Events after the Sweet dreams, TN fic. Helen is the alter ego of Klaw Craig. Feel free to judge me because now that I’m re-reading it… it’s bullshit and I don’t know what to call this. Especially the song it’s not fitting duhhh. Going to log off after posting it. *sighs*

Song: “She’s thunderstorms” - Arctic Monkeys

MASTERLIST

———————————————————————

She’s thunderstorms

Lying on her front, up against the wall

She’s thunderstorms

Bryce Lahela was right.

She’s like a goddess that entered to this building and blessed my life when I made eye contact with her.

Indeed a blessing.

She was the most incredible woman and everyone would take a bow just for her hand and fulfill all the wishes she wanted.

He couldn’t feel his breath in that short moment when they exchanged looks. Did someone pause his heart and his body? Because surely he had multiple questions as his mind drifted into thoughts.

When did she come here? How did she find him? Where did she work before coming here? Is she alone? But if not, who was with her? The hair colour and style had changed too. From the straight dark brown with bangs had gone into long, wavy light ash blonde hair that seemed to make her a different person.

But her face was still like he left it. Her arched brows that made her confident; captivating eyes with determination; full and inviting lips that always gave him chills when she crooked them into a playful smirk; her strong and beautiful jaw that tilted whenever he teased her or touched with such delicacy that made her gasp into pleasure; her long neck… without his necklace. He almost scoffed. Of course she had taken it off. What was he expecting?

Their bodies pining in the wall in ecstasy and hearing her sounds...

I’ve been feeling foolish, you should try it

She came and substituted the peace and quiet for

Acrobatic blood, flow concertina

Cheating heartbeat, rapid fire

Everything.

He wanted to do everything.

Anytime and anywhere.

With her and only her.

When he saw her hand shaking with another one... he felt a pit into his stomach and a familiar feeling came into his brain.

Mine.

She’s thunderstorms

Lying on her front, up against the wall

She’s thunderstorms

Here is your host, sounds as if she’s pretty close

When the heat starts growing horns

She’s thunderstorms

That greatly but destructive feeling called jealousy was in his veins. He wanted to reach out and twirl her around and to whisper to her:

I’m sorry and I really missed you.

Instead he came with slow and confident steps as if his imagination vanished quickly without so noticing and a small professional smile appeared in his face and she seemed to understand it. One more reason why he loves her.

“Ah Clay here you are,” Simon spoke breaking his trip of memory lane. “I want to present you Dr. Helena Craig the surgeon who’s going to replace Edgar for a while. Helen this is Dr. Clay Banner our future cardiothoracic surgeon.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Dr. Banner… I have heard a lot about you.” It seemed like a lifetime since he had heard her angelic voice that was a symphony in his ears. He held his tears from falling and coughed to fight the strangle voice that was about to let out.

“A pleasure to meet you too Dr. Craig and I can say the same thing about you.”

Something inside of Helen was igniting.

Her flame.

That old flame which burnt her into many pieces and toyed with her body all of those times sharing with him. She couldn’t say that she didn’t miss him. The real him. The one she fell in love with. His adoring face, his soft hands, his broad shoulders where she leaned on and his assuring voice when she felt insecure.

She had mastered perfectly the art of acting and pretending to be satisfied with everything in her life. Little did those people in the room know how her heart was aching miserably and was shattering from disappointment and hurt from the very same man that was just two feet away.

But a baritone and irritating voice seemed to cut off all of that momentary darkness which in fact she thanked him in silence. “Done with the introductions? Great. We’ve got work to do.” Ethan turned his back and started to write in the whiteboard. “The patient is from Manhattan Presbyterian…”

While Ethan was explaining the symptoms, Helen held a transfixed face to all of the theories of her attending and unexpectedly to other colleagues, she started to ask questions which resulted helpful despite being a surgeon. Sometimes she shared thoughts with Clay and even agreeing with them. It was part of the job after all and Clay couldn’t help but feel proud for his woman.

Correction: his ex.

A past tense that he had to learn from now on. But deep inside of him there was a spark of hope that maybe… maybe things would get back to normal. And maybe she would forgive him.

The team was finally dismissed but only two people stayed. Ethan called Helen before she would leave and that made Clay’s blood boiled because all he wanted was to talk to her right after this meeting. He had to try one last card even though it was useless.

“Dr. Ramsey can we talk for a moment?”

“Is there anything wrong Dr. Banner?”

“No j-just,” he stuttered. “Q-questions about the team in general.”

“We will but after I finish a discussion with Dr. Craig if you don’t mind.”

Fuck you.

“Not at all Sir.” He closed the door reluctantly and sighed in defeat.

“What’s the matter Dr. Ramsey?” She asked although she knew damn well why he had called her.

“What are you doing here?” Ethan clasped his fingers as if to stop whatever his mind was blowing now. His ears were still echoing with her words whispering softly.

Thank you for the distraction. I really needed it.

“Starting my job,” she said innocently and shrugged. “Is it irrelevant?”

“Yes, it is,” he nodded and his feet was carrying him over her; something inevitable that no matter what, he couldn’t stop. “I don’t think all of this is a coincidence.”

“Well lucky for you now you’ll have the most trustworthy person in your team that won’t let you down.”

He scoffed while shaking his head. “I highly doubt your confidence.”

“Just wait and see.”

I’ve already seen you.

After their encounter last night Ethan couldn’t sleep. Many times of trying to change and find the perfect position led to nothing but drinking in the balcony that even his dog Jenner didn’t like it and cooed sadly to his owner. What was this woman doing to him? Why he felt so weak in front of her that immediately wanted to bend her over to his desk and scream his name?

“So,” she crossed her arms behind her waist. “How was I?”

He frowned in confusion and god she thought to herself why he had to be such handsome even in that moment. “Hm?”

“In making you feel surprised.”

“Ah that. Well you’ve clearly exceeded my expectations.”

“Wow. So I rendered you speechless then.”

Giggles were ringing in the walls and for the first time in a while Ethan Ramsey smiled at that. It was something so natural that came from her as other people didn’t get his dry humour but she... she was different. It was like a magnet that more and more you get closer, the more attached you become to her.

She’s been loop-the-looping around my mind

Her motorcycle boots give me this kind of

Acrobatic blood, concertina

Cheating heartbeat, rapid fire

He cleared his throat in purpose of changing the subject. “The reason why I called you,” he put his hand in his front pocket to reveal a tiny and shining object that seemed familiar to her. “Does this belong to you?

“Oh my god yes! This is my earring!” Helen exclaimed shockingly while grazing it with her thumb. Apparently had slipped when she whispered in his ear. “I was looking it all over my room but I couldn’t find it anywhere.” Her gaze now was turned back to him in gratefulness. “Thank you.”

Without thinking she closed their distance by enveloping him into a hug. This caught Ethan off guard but now he returned the hug back and closed his eyes while inhaling her perfume. She did the same too and in that moment both of them felt safe on each other’s arms as if they knew where they belonged. The world around them didn’t exist for a few seconds and both of them despite not saying out loud, they wanted to continue it.

She’s thunderstorms

Lying on her front, up against the wall

She’s thunderstorms

“It’s nothing.” He smiled politely when they separated.

“No this is not nothing. I owe you because this earring was really special to me.” She inhaled slowly while considering an option. Taking some risk wouldn’t hurt her? Right? “What do you say uhm- a drink? In this case I can apologise for yesterday’s… thing.”

“You have nothing to apologise for.”

“Sure I have, because to be completely honest Dr. Ramsey… I knew who you were.”

And here he thought that she was just another stranger that thankfully didn’t know him. Now he was feeling raged and betrayed because that meant she wanted to impress him only by her appearance and make a spot here on his team. His authoritative voice came back as if to maintain the last straw of himself.

“You did know who were you talking to?”

“Yeah I did. Now I’m speaking to my attending,” she moved tantalising and confidently just like yesterday. “To my colleague. And,” then tilted her chin while saying. “To a possible friend.”

“For the latter dream on.” He warned her.

She laughed heartedly. “We’ll meet at Donahue’s at 9 PM sharply and don’t be late because I can’t wait more than two minutes.”

His eyebrows narrowed incredulously and crossed his arms to his chest. “I don’t remember accepting your offer. And besides… how do you know my agenda? What if I’m busy?”

“Well I don’t remember taking a no answer from you and I’ve got my sources about your special agenda.” She shrugged innocently. “See you tonight doctor.”

The door was closed but not before throwing a playful wink to him. He let out a laugh while shaking his head in disbelief. This woman was really crazy but it was one of a kind and Ethan Ramsey couldn’t wait to know more about her.

——————————————

Helen wasn’t surprised to see him waiting impatiently in the corner while she was talking with Dr. Ramsey.

What was so important that took them this long? He thought.

Actually that was only five minutes but to him it seemed like five hours already. When she got out he couldn’t help but stare at her not knowing where to start first.

“Helen.”

“Dr. Banner,” the plastered smile didn’t leave her face despite being furious and ready to wipe his ass in front of everyone. “You can go now to Dr. Ramsey. He’s free.”

“Actually, can we talk?” She rolled her eyes. “I won’t make you wait too much. I promise.”

Helen whispered only for the two of them to hear. “You and your promises,” a tackle of her tongue was heard twice. “Aren’t in coherence. I don’t know why should I listen to you. Let me guess- I’m sorry my Helen but I had to step in you to gain my spot here in Edenbrook thanks to my parents who are very powerful and influential people in Boston.”

“I-”

“I’m not finished,” her hardened gaze was evident and he knew he had to stop. “Or how you accepted without so much caring not one but two strange women in your bed while you were fucking drunk. That must’ve been a fruitful threesome huh? Why didn’t you try with a boy too? That would’ve been the cherry on top.” Her words were poisonous and she thought he deserved much worse than these. “Or how your mother has always tried to make me feel miserable in front of everyone when you did absolutely nothing to stop it. Not even moving your finger.”

In an unusual place, when you’re feeling far away

She does what the night does to the day

She was right about everything. He couldn’t disagree with any of the words she said. Helen Craig was rarely found to be wrong.

“I think that our conversation ends here Dr. Banner.”

He grabbed her elbow without thinking twice for his recklessness and made her narrow her eyes in annoyance. “Tonight at Donahue’s bar 9 o’clock and I will explain you everything.”

“Get off me or I’ll scream.” She warned dangerously.

“We both know you can’t.” Clay had no idea where this was leading but he could see the fire into her eyes. “You wouldn’t want people to find out that you had a boyfriend working here huh?”

Look at this prick starting to talk.

“Well well do you need a reminder that my father and my brother can make you beg for your life again?”

The last encounter with the Craig males was one year ago when they found out that this jerk had dumped the most precious thing of their family. Patrick Craig was the first to reach for the drawer to load his gun just in case whereas Brian her brother made sure to find Clay’s location with his advanced knowledge of technology. The end resulted in a bloody and a harsh fight between them and warning the latter to not come any centimeter closer to Helen. And the scar on his neck was still visible after that time.

“That happened once. It can’t happen again,” he grasped her out of his hand. “I’ll be waiting.”

With that he left the ultimatum settled in her hands and keeping it until 9 PM. Helen stayed still like someone had glued her in a position that she couldn’t escape.

She wouldn’t go.

No.

She wouldn’t hear him again and believe his words. But there was such a confidence in his voice that made her scared. Thanks to that she felt the anxiety rising up and panic for what was about to come.

She could easily cancel the plans with Dr. Ramsey and not go to that bar. But when she met him yesterday it felt something different with that share of eye contact.

Despite being half-drunk and exhausted from her flight he had made her forgetting all of her plans and the reason why she came in Boston. It was entirely a new world, a new dimension that she hadn’t explored yet and was eager to find more about this man.

It was unethical but did she care? Not in the slightest. Helen was ambitious and she definitely would possess it. She had to think of a plan how to sabotage this whole thing but how?

The choice she had to make was like a ticking bomb that in one way or another, was going to blast.

She’s thunderstorms

Lying on her front, up against the wall

She’s thunderstorms, thunderstorms, thunderstorms

—————————————————————-

TAGS WILL APPEAR IN A REBLOG!

[mollyollypuddingpolly]

Home For Christmas

Anne and Gilbert

A/N : I began writing this way before Christmas, I don't know why a was in a Christmas-y mood this summer but anyways I thought it turned out good enough to post.

---

He'd told her he'd only be home two days before Christmas. He told her it was the only ticket he could get because he had been so busy studying for finals that he forgot. She was disappointed, but didn't let that show in her letters. The last few times she has seen him where in two day intervals when she ventured up to Toronto on a free weekend, so she had hoped for much longer. Of course the break continued after Christmas, but his classes resumed early, so they couldn't even ring in the new year together.

Anne decided she'd make the most of her time before he arrived, spending it with Marilla and Mathew so when he did come she could spend more with him without feeling guilty of neglecting her family through the holidays. Of course, they'd share Christmas dinner together. A tradition since Bash joined Gilbert at the Blythe farm.

Anne and the other girls stepped on to the snow dusted platform and pulled their coats tighter across themselves as the warmth from the train gave way to the chilly December air.

Anne smiled, remembering her first time standing on the platform. She glance at the small bench where she once sat, eagerly awaiting what would become her home. As the train cleared the station, She spotted the cherry tree now not white with bloom but with snow. Still beautiful and breathtaking. Pure white amongst many evergreens. Still a bride, she thought and a warmth filled her cheeks when her brain reminded her, you'll be a bride someday after all Anne. And what an adventure that will be. She shook her head to clear away the thought, still plenty of time before that of course.

"Anne!" Diana's voice pulled her from her thoughts, she turned toward the sound and noticed Diana had already approached her parents who had offered to bring Anne home too. She quickly made up the distance, allowed Diana's father to take her bag and climbed into the carriage.

"What ever had you so preoccupied?" Diana asked with an raised brow. Anne smiled sheepishly.

"I was just remembering the first time I got off at this platform. When Mathew picked me up and didn't have the heart to tell me they'd sent for a boy," Diana smiled and took Anne's gloved hand.

"And I am forever grateful to him for doing so," She said. Anne hummed with a smile, "Just think, if you'd been sent back not only would you and I never have met, but I'd be in Paris being 'finished'," she said saying the last word with such distaste she she received a sour look from her mother next to her. Anne only smiled, she could only imagine where she'd be if the Cuthberts hadn't kept her, and her imagination could come up with some horrifying possible alternatives.

To keep her mind off that she looked at the passing scenery. Snow had fallen the night before, just enough to give the fields a soft cover but not cause difficulty along the roads. She inhaled the cold air and exhaled watching her foggy breath disappear into the winds. She gazed at the lake of shinning waters, it's beauty enhanced by it's now glistening frozen surface. And she held her breath when the crossed the bridge, as she always did because her imagination didn't often like to let her think crossing one wouldn't end in tradgedy.

The carriage slowed as it approached the gate of Green Gables. Anne's heart jumped at the sight of her home. She hadn't been to visit recently due to spending her free time preparing for finals, but now she was home. And there was nothing that could make her happier.

Or almost nothing.

Anne walked towards the front door, which flew open before she reached it. Mathew stood, arms outstretched, which she willingly jumped into. Dropping her bag onto the wooden deck. He squeezed her tight and she breathed in the warm smell of a wood fire on him. Then he picked up her bag and led her inside.

"Marilla!" Anne said, walking into the kitchen. Marilla stood inspecting a tea cup. Which she quickly set down at the sound of her name. She turned to her Anne and beamed before pulling her in as well.

"Oh how we've missed you!" She said, then more sternly, " I trust that you did well in your exams."

Marilla leaned back, her hands still resting on Anne's shoulders.

"I believe I did, we get our results when we return," She said. Marilla nodded asking about Diana and the other girls before Mathew spoke up once more.

"Well we best get you set up in your room, I can carry up your bag," he offered, halfway to the steps.

"Nonsense," Marilla said quickly with a sharp look at Mathew, "Anne can carry her bag up herself," Mathew nodded suddenly.

"Right, here you are then," He said passing her the bag. Anne looked at the two quizzically.

"Okay… just let me take my jacket and scarf off first," she said, setting the bag down again. The two nodded, smiles plastered on there face. Anne looked at them with narrow eyes before turning back out into the hall.

She took the steps slowly, taking in the comfort of being back home. She remebered again her first day at Green Gables, she was too upset then to enjoy her walk down the simple hallway, but now this was a place filled with memories. Like the time she and Diana had raced up the steps giggling about bosoms before getting in terrible trouble that almost forced them to stop being friends. When Ruby Gilis had to stay with the Cuthberts after her house burnt down. And Anne finally made a second friend. When she realized she did love Gilbert and raced down the steps and to his house, but then thought she was too late. Caught up in her thoughts, she almost didn't notice that her bedroom door was slightly open.

Almost.

She shrugged, Marilla probably left it open after dusting. She pushed open the door, excited to see her simple, cozy room after the long train ride. But when the door pushed back her heart leapt with joy, and it wasn't over her small, comfortable bed.

"GILBERT BLYTHE, YOU DEVIL!" She hollared, tossing her bag and running into his arms with a grin. He grinned back and laughed as he squeezed her tightly.

Anne wouldn't know it, but down stairs Mathew and Marilla were giving each other a knowing smile.

She leaned back before diving back in, this time their lips met, his arms twist up her back, her finding solace in his hair. A chill went up her back every time they kissed and her face turned warm. She couldn't help but smile into the kiss as did he, she pulled back unable to contain her laughter, instead resting her forehead on his.

"What are you doing here? You said you couldn't get in untill the 23rd!" She said, her arms at rest on his shoulders. He adjusted his around her waist with a cheeky smile.

"I actually got back yesterday, but I wanted to suprise you. So when you told me that you wouldn't be home untill today…" he left it off letting her fill in the rest. She pulled back, lips pierced, intending to give him a sour look, which gave way to a smile.

"You sneak! And Marilla and Mathew where in on it?" She leaned back, still in disbelief, how did you convince Marilla to let you up here she thought but didn't ask. He smiled.

"They were, and so was Diana. I had to make sure you wouldn't get some funny idea of coming up to Toronto to suprise me," he said, she sucked in a breath at the thought, she wouldn't put it past fate to cause that kind of chaos.

Anne lead Gilbert downstairs, where tea and family was waiting for them.

"Bash!" Anne shouted, dropping Gilbert's hand to give the man a hug, he accepted squeezing her back tightly.

"Anne! Ah it's so good to see you! Gilbert's been here only one day and he's already talked my ear off over how much he missed you," he said as he let her go, she turned to Gilbert, smug, who suddenly seemed interested in a spot on the ground.

Anne greeted Delphine she's so big! Then everyone sat down for tea and scones.

Anne laughed when Delphine bit into a scone, smearing jam all over her face. She leaned forward and helped the small girl by whiping the corners of her mouth. Marilla was having what started out as a friendly conversation about Gilbert's studies turned into a long, explaination of all he'd learned so far, Anne commented when she could, and made a mental note to check out some medical books from Queen's when she returned so she could keep up.

It warmed her heart to see him so passionate about becoming a doctor. She remembered briefly a time when he almost gave that up, thinking the task too much for him bare. She didn't know if it was her words that day or his own self reflection that brought back his desire to purse medicine, perhaps some combination of both.

After tea, the two went for a walk through the forest. The path that she took to school untouched since the snowfall, their foot steps were the first.

"Diana isn't sure yet if she'll be aloud to continue to Redmond, but I really am excited about the idea," Anne explained, she knew he'd heard it all in her letters but something about him being here made it feel more real. " Of course, I can only go if I get the Avery Award, but everyone says I have a shot at it. Oh! And Cole has applied to an art school in Nova Scotia too! So at least I'll have one friend,"

Gilbert smiled, rubbing his thumb in circles on her hand as he held it.

"There's not a doubt in my mind that you won't win it, Anne," He said turning to look at her, she peered into his eyes. Eyes she could get lost in and had many times before, even before realizing what that meant.

"I hope so," She said, still unsure. But she wouldn't know until end of spring, so no point in worrying.

Gilbert seemed to think the same thing, taking hand he turned her around, spinning her slightly so they stood face to face, she laughed as he did it.

" I was just thinking about when we first danced together, and how we haven't had the chance to do that again,"

"Well," she said with a smile, "There isn't any music, but I do believe my imagination is more than strong enough to make up for that," she said holding out her hand and he took it, guiding her in a waltz as he hummed along to a tune he'd heard once before.

They stepped back and forth, through the clearing in the woods, as snow began to gently fall down on them. Anne looked up at Gilbert with such happiness and piece in her mind that nothing could have ruined this moment.

Nothing.

Stepping into the middle Gilbert spun Anne once more, but it was hard to tell with all the snow how safe the ground was, and catching a bit of ice, Anne slipped, falling down and taking Gilbert with her.

"I'm so sorry, are you alright?" He turned to her urgently worried she'd hurt herself. But she was staring up at the sky with a smile, and when she turned to him she began to laugh, which he returned as well. They laid there, laughing for far longer than anyone in there right mind would lay in the snow. Then Gilbert laced his hand in hers and began to help her up.

"Merry Christmas, Anne," he said once they both were on two feet again.

"Merry Christmas," she replied, giving him a kiss.

"

[ivory-sunflower]

Arty Art Things ✨

Hellooo!

I've decided to post some of the arty things I've done either recently or in the last few years, well the pieces I'm somewhat proud of at least. All my posts tend to be a lot more wordy than they need to be but hey it's what I do here!

Conchúr White

Anyone one who's been on this blog for a bit will have probably have seen me talk about this lovely Irish fella. The pencil drawing is actually a year old as of yesterday, I only know that because screenshots of me flipping out about Conchúr following me on twitter popped up in my memories yesterday. I think I'd sent it to him at about 3 in the morning (I was not in a good head space at that point in time), so probably not what he was expecting to see when he opened his phone in the morning aha

The biro version is much more recent: I got bored while sat at my desk and doing research about university courses, saw a biro, saw my old drawing of Conchúr, had an idea. I revisited my GCSE art techniques and here we are. Again, I put this up on Twitter and now (at the the time I'm writing this) when you google "Conchúr White" it's the third top image of him which is a bit mad really. I think I spent all of about 20 minutes on Conchúr but another 45 minutes on the words behind him. The words are the names of the songs on his EP 'Bikini Crops', he doesn't just really love the idea of Channing Tatum driving him around at night in a daisy print bikini... Well maybe he does but what he does in his spare time is none of my business...

TechDif

So I mentioned that the pencil drawing of Conchúr came from a rough patch in my mental health and this one is no different! In fact this one came from an even worse circumstance so we love to see it. I had a bad, bad time in July and this started as a way of distracting myself from what was going on in my head. Without it, I can't honestly say I'd still be here so even if the final product of this had been a terrible mess I would still love it for keeping me alive. However, it did not turn out to be a terrible mess!

Now that the origin of this is out the way, where do I start with TechDif? Unlike Conchúr, I haven't really talked about them on here (unless you count one brief post about Citation Needed) before so I guess I'll do it here. The Technical Difficulties are a wonderful group of 4 British fellas who have had their fair share of fun online and even before. They did a radio show at university together, which went on to become their Reverse Trivia Podcast, later moving on to a panel show called 'Citation Needed': and a game called 'Two of These People Are Lying'. All of which I would thoroughly reccomend, they're one of my go to things when I'm having a rough time. All 4 of them are excellent! Tom Scott (red top, blue jeans on the picture) has his own YouTube channel which does content aside from TechDif. If you're quite nerdy and like science, linguistics, computers, or any number of other things you may enjoy Tom's channel. He is probably best described as "The Moderator" of the group, much like a tired teacher he tries desperately to keep everyone on track with what they're meant to be doing, but usually it does not end well for him. Then we have Matt Gray (space top, holding an ice cream) who also has a channel away from TechDif stuff, he does techy electronic things and has a series called 'Will it Soft Serve?' where he puts all kinds of strange things through a soft serve machine. Matt brings a very specific energy to TechDif and I can't fully describe what that vibe is but I love it. Matt and Tom also share a YouTube channel where TOTPAL is posted and they had a series called 'The Park Bench'. Moving on to everybody's favourite Gary Brannan: Gary Brannan (SATIRE hoodie, glasses) and can I just say, what a fella he is! He's just excellent! He is the one that will argue and rip into Tom the most (not in a malicious way) and hilarity ensues. There are some episodes where he is absolutely on it, getting all the points and others where he very clearly has no idea and that's where some of his funniest quotes come from. Given how badly I was doing at the time I made this, his response to it on Twitter was so so lovely. I specifically remember one tweet where he said I'd made him happy and although it was probably a flippant comment, it just made feel alright for a bit. Yeah I might be feeling awful right now, but I've made someone else happy so that's a nice feeling. Then last but certainly not least, we have Chris Joel (buffalo check shirt, beard)! I would be lying if I said he isn’t my favourite... His sense of humor is the one I vibe with most, he can get rather dramatic in parts and can chat bollocks like a champion. He has absolutely no online presence away from TechDif and, like Rens from Temples, I fully believe he’s a cryptid and lives off in a tree somewhere. 

The picture took me about 4 days to complete, well 4 nights because I did most of it between the hours of 12 a.m. and 7a.m. - I remember watching the sun come through my window each morning. It’s made up of lots of little pieces, all cut out and stuck on; even the sky and hills are made of separate pieces of paper. Nothing was actually drawn on the piece of paper it’s all stuck on, it’s not how I usually do things but if I messed up one little but I could just redraw it rather than ruining the whole thing. The most tedious parts to make were Chris’ shirt because I had to draw each square individually and then join the as well, and cutting out the ban-hammer in the bottom right was surprisingly hard. Every single detail of the picture is a reference to the podcast/shows, I still have the plan sketch and reference list knocking about somewhere. I listened to a lot of true crime videos while making it to the point that certain parts remind me of different cases: the brandy now reminds me of Peter Tobin, and the big spiral thing reminds me of Tim McLean (very harrowing case) - sorry that fact is a bit morbid but interesting nonetheless. 

I did post this for a little bit back in July, but I received some rather awful messages so I took it down. Generally, Tom Scott/TechDif fans are lovely but there’s been a few that have taken a disliking to me for some reason so I’m hoping they don’t resurface again. I’m in a better head space now though, so even if they do I’m more equipped to deal with it this time.

Hozier

This was a quick sketch I did in April, I was getting bored with lockdown and decided to summon the bog man himself. There’s not really much more backstory than that, no poor mental health story, no fun twitter story - he’s just here. He’s vibing. I will say I’m particularly proud of his nose, I just think it’s one of the best noses I’ve ever drawn. His hand is okay, but I think that the hands on my Conchúr drawings are better. So there is the Hozi-Boi...

The Corpse Bry

I’ve talked about Bry on here before as well, I love him, he’s excellent, top lad. He is a living Tim Burton character, he’s 6′6, very skinny, and his legs are longer than my will to live. I was watching ‘The Corpse Bride’ a few weeks ago and suddenly had an idea and so ‘The Corpse Bry’ came to be. I gave him a little panda friend because the panda has always been his animal - he used to wear a panda beanie all the time and his album had a panda on the cover. Again, there’s not really a fun story behind this one, I guess it’s somewhat fun because it’s the first art I made after finishing my psychology exams in October so it was nice to actually have the time to draw.

James Bagshaw

Ginger talking about Temples for the third post in a row? it’s more likely than you think! I did this one last week, I’d had a bit of a wobbly day and had group therapy on Teams in the evening and I just couldn’t concentrate on what was going on and I ended up doodling Mr James E. Bagshaw, the glitter crying fraggle man himself. It’s a bare-bones drawing that I could definitely work into more but I’m happy with it as it is to be honest. I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit and add the individual bits of fringe to his jacket, just thinking about doing that makes me tired. Maybe I’ll get around to drawing the whole band at some point...

Alice in “Wonderland”

This one is from about 5(?) years ago, it’s not my typical style and was a “study” based on another artists work (basically i just had to copy this fellas work). I’ll be honest, this one has a sketchy backstory that I won’t go in to because it’s not exactly a nice one, and because of that I also won’t say who the artist is that it’s based on. Despite this, I’m still really proud of this one and I’m so sad that I never got this piece back after I got taken out the class. I’ve considered trying this style again, I’ve even joked about doing another Conchúr drawing in this style as a nod to my progression through GCSE art, eventually leading to Conchúr drawn in ink on music manuscript and stained with neon paint and dyes - it would be quite the project!

So this has been quite a lengthy post so apologies about that but life goes on. Similar to the vinyl post, I’ll probably add to this as and when I make more art. Even if no one is reading these posts, I’m enjoying making them so that’s the main thing. It’s just nice to document things and the feelings that go with them. 💕

~ Love Ginger xx 

29/11/2020

[belladonna-designs]

Yesterday I finished the last piece I had planned for my spring 2021 collection. In January I decided to use every hoop I already owned before uploading anything to Etsy or buying any more supplies, especially frames.

Mr. Pigeon & Mr. Finch, spring 2021

 Mostly by accident, this decision created a space where I could see my pieces as existing in a shared universe, like a Madeleine L'Engle novel. In everything visual, I have a pastel, surreal aesthetic, and a dark floral folklore vision. Accordingly, I divided my hoops down the middle. On the fairy tale side I made five full-sized pieces and three miniatures in dark colors; on the dreamlike side, I made five big pieces and two little ones in white and watercolors.

I balance embroidery and writing by taking them in seasons. I don't write or embroidery very well if I try to do both in the same day, so I take it a few months at a time. I'm waiting on some materials to finish the backs, and then I'll start uploading to Etsy a piece per day. There will be some slightly fancy face masks, and maybe a couple of unexpected items.  

 I've had a lot of fun being a full-time embroidery artist for the last 3.5 months. I'll keep stitching through my hiatus because that's the only way I can watch movies or listen to podcasts now, but I'l shifting into novel-writing mode. I have to write a book about this confused creature:

 Nosce Teipsum, by Brittany Harrison

 While I'm obviously hoping that starting a Tumblr will get my work in front of more eyeballs, I'm doing this mainly because the embroidery art community on Tumblr is more about the visual feast of the work we do, and less about a bunch of people promoting small businesses. And the art side of embroidery art is what's keeping me interested. I suspect that shops that specialize in a signature design make more money, but doing something different and more challenging each time has been extremely fun. I would miss it doing one thing eight hours a day. (But then I should be so lucky as to design a single product in-demand enough to support a whole shop. I'll cross that bridge if I'm fortunate.)

 What I actually meant to say was, I'm going to treat this blog like an archive of my designs. I'm selling originals, so I want to circulate the images, and also have them online where I can find them. I have lost so many hard drives, you don't want to know.

 If you came here from my my IG or other blog, thanks 4 being a pal. You can expect maybe 70% embroidery or art posts and reblogs, 30% craft/process journaling. That's the other reason for this blog: I can't journal on Instagram. I am old, I am old, I shall [black text on white-out) complain about typing with my thumbs till I die. Why can't we update IG from desktops, it's maddening.

[thexfridax]

Translated interview

A new politics of love - An interview with Adèle Haenel on 'Portrait of a Lady on Fire'

By Barbara Fohringer, in: The Gap, 28th of October 2019

Additions or clarifications for translating purposes are denoted as [T: …]

The film 'Portrait of a Lady on Fire' not only shows a same-sex love but also an equal one between two women in the 18th century. The Gap met with Adèle Haenel, one of the two leading actresses, for a conversation.

Marianne (Noémie Merlant), a painter in the 18th century, is commisioned to do a portrait of the aristocratic Héloïse (Adèle Haenel) - without her knowledge -, as Héloïse already refused to sit for another painter. Héloïse, whose sister has recently died, is promised to a nobleman in Milan, her portrait is meant to illustrate her future marriage. In Céline Sciamma's ('Water Lilies', 'Tomboy', 'Girlhood') new film, it is two women who fall in love with each other, two women who are equals.

'Portrait of a Lady on Fire' received the Best Screenplay award and 'Queer Palm' at the Cannes Film Festival this year. The film opened the Viennale a couple of days ago. Adèle Haenel ('Water Lilies', 'The Bloom of Yesterday', '120 BPM') came to Vienna for this event - and answered some of our questions.

Interviewer: Why did you choose this role? Why did it appeal to you?

Adèle Haenel: I've known Céline Sciamma, the director, for a long time. We met twelve years ago and did our first film together, and I think, she is currently one of the most talented directors in France. [T: 🥰] I then read the screenplay, and thought it is a wonderful love story. When I finished reading it, I cried.

I: How did you approach the role? How did prepare for it? It is after all a period film, which takes place at the end of the 18th century.

AH: I never think like that. The fact that it is a period film doesn't influence the way I'm acting. It would be the wrong approach, to think about acting in that way. It doesn't matter in which period the story takes place, but it's about the problem that this film deals with. You cannot say: This is the way to prepare for a period drama. I was interested in the key question of the film and that it's centred around queer people. We wanted to tell a new love story, because it's about the love between two people that are equals. It's two women of roughly the same age. They are of similar height and intelligence. None of them dominates the other. This was our foundation. We asked ourselves, how this collaboration - in love - could work and how we could show love without possession. It's about a new politics of love. It was important for us to show a certain sexiness in equality, consent and non-possession. This opened up new concepts, as we are not yet used to these kinds of stories. We are used to think of submission as sexy - but not of equality. That was the main thing. When I took on the role, I considered it as a journey from object to subject. That is the character's journey.

I: The film not only shows the equality of the characters in terms of its content, but also visually, it virtually creates a female gaze, a new perspective on female characters. How was the shooting, and how did you, the director and you, approach the characters?

AH: Yes, that was the plan. It really is a Post-#MeToo-film. I don't think it would have been possible to make the film beforehand, because there was little understanding about the concept of alienation between women or rather solidarity between women. We talk more with each other now, there are more alliances between women. You can see this with the character of Sophie the maid. She is a maid, but she is also much more than that and has her own story, independent of the two main characters. The film consists of many long shots, and has its own rhythm. I think, the framing also demonstrates the relationship between the characters. Sometimes we as actors didn't have much room to move, sometimes we had more.

I: The aspect of class was also interesting for me, as just discussed for the character of Sophie, and also the fact, that it's about art and how you create this image of another person. How did you approach this theme?

AH: Art is part of the love story in this film, although you could also say the opposite. The film is also about working on a piece of art. The character of Marianne asks herself what qualifies as a good portrait - does it have to contain the soul of a person or is it rather about capturing a moment in time. Marianne didn't ask herself these questions before that, she followed the rules in her way, so when she meets Héloïse she is forced to question herself and to become aware of her choices. Of course, I don't have anything to do with the pictures, but Noémie Merlant took some lessons with Hélène Delmaire, who made all the pictures that you can see in the film.

I: What other female roles are you interested in?

AH: I'm more interested in the dynamics of a film. So every character intrigues me and there is no topic that doesn't appeal to me. The dynamics and the point of view are close to my heart. Sure, you can also say that fight scenes or riding a motorcycle or whatever are interesting, but that's not really the point.

I: What did you learn about yourself and the business since you became an actress?

AH: I don't know about that, but I do know: If a do a film, then I have philosophical and political questions that I'm asking myself at the time. Every film that I made since 2012 tried to answer one of those questions. It's not necessarily about me. But rather pursuing an idea. Younger actresses and actors, who want to learn the trade, need to listen to what brings them joy. [T: Mari Kondo vibes, she actually says inner joy] The feeling for acting you can, you have to feel. It's not just in your head, but also in your heart. Many have that and they must not let go of it. Don't follow the rules and stay true to yourself. But you also have to be careful, there can be problematic situations.

I: Right now, it's the Viennale in Vienna. Do you have a connection with Austrian films?

AH: My father is from Austria, that's why I have a special connection with this country, but I'm not that familiar with the Austrian cinema. But I'm interested in working in German. I would like to do more films or theatre plays in German.

I: Your German is quite good already, especially, when you consider that you learned the language quite late.

AH: I learned German when shooting 'The Bloom of Yesterday'. But when I'm tired, everything is kaputt (laughs) [T: broken]. I'd rather speak in English then. However, I did the Q&A in German in the cinema yesterday.

I: Can you already tell us something about your new projects?

AH: I'm currently working at the theatre. We just started with the rehearsals and will perform next year. [T: 🙏🏿] The play is called 'The Pond' by Robert Walser [T: which is directed by Gisèle Vienne and also stars Ruth Vega Fernandez, see here]. We originally wanted to do this play in German, but we will do it in French now - I think. If we do perform this play internationally, then we might switch to German. Either way, I know the text in French and German. 'The Trouble with You' by Pierre Salvadori will be released in Austria soon. (Editor's note: [...] from 8th of November 2019.)

I: Many French films are quite successful internationally but also in Austria. What do you think is the reason for this success?

AH: France has an exceptional financing system for films. Every film that is successful in cinema gets funding afterwards, which can then be invested in new film projects. We produce a lot of films, even though we are not such a big country. The French film has a very good reputation. I believe, this benefits arthouse films as well as commercial ones.

I: What profession would you have taken, if you hadn't become an actress?

AH: I think, I would give acting classes then.

[something-tofightfor]

Small Business Saturday - But on Sunday

So I meant to do this yesterday, but in the spirit of the holiday season, I’m going to link you guys to a few of my favorite small businesses in case  you’re looking for the perfect holiday gift.  Many places are doing sales currently, and will continue them for the next few days - so take a look! And even if they aren’t running sales, consider supporting them ... this year has been really difficult for a lot of people financially, and these people depend on the sales from their products to survive.  If you have ANY stores to add to this, please let me know and I’ll make edits to the post based on your suggestions! I know my reach on here is relatively small, but exposure helps. 

1. Poor Sparrow 

One of my college roommates has been creating and selling gorgeous vintage jewelry for the past decade. She sources deadstock items and vintage components for all of her pieces, and then hand-assembles them. 

Her pieces are really fairly priced, well made and beautiful. She’s currently got a sale going on (30% off + free shipping on any amount) - and I believe it ends tomorrow night (11/30/2020).

I just ordered this from her, and I cannot wait to get it!

2. Harris Laser Works 

@the-blind-assassin-12​ and her husband opened up this shop ( @harrislaserworks​ ) for laser engraving, and not only is their work incredible, they’re open to personalization, customization and pretty much any idea is fair game.

Ornaments

Cutting boards

Storage boxes

Wall art

I’ve only purchased wood and acrylic pieces, but I am unbelievably happy with the quality, the turnaround time, and Alyssa’s communication. Examples of the pieces I’ve bought: 

Neptune’s portrait

Earrings:  

They’re running a sale for 10% off all orders + free shipping over $35 USD spent, and I believe it goes through Christmas.

 3. Silver and Ivy 

There are literally A TON of different jewelry options on this site. Necklaces, earrings and rings in different finishes + different styles, and plenty of customization options with charms, initials, stamps and gemstones. 

There’s honestly something to suit every style in this shop - and the Mystery Boxes are currently 20% off - which is a HUGE steal. I ordered one yesterday, and can’t wait to see what’s in it when it arrives. 

She’s currently doing a huge sale + a free gift added to all purchases (I think it ends today, 11/29). The amount you spend determines your free gift, but if you check out her IG, she’s shown some of the ones that have gone in already, and they’re gorgeous. 

4. Sage Design Co. 

Morgan makes handstamped items - pet tags, keychains, necklaces, and now ornaments.  Since she’s doing it solo, her turnaround time is a little long - if you need a Christmas gift, I’d suggest ordering within the next few days.(She’s gotten nearly 400 orders since she got back from her honeymoon on 10/26)

I’ve ordered a few things from her, and the quality is fantastic! She’s willing to customize pieces (I just wanted a keychain, and so I didn’t need a name stamped on it), and each piece is one of a kind, since they’re hand-stamped and won’t be in the same exact spot. 

No sale currently, but pricing and shipping are very reasonable - especially to US customers. 

(Also, I am VERY rough with my keys and drop them all the damn time so the smudge on that is my fault - the keychain didn’t come like that)

I may continue to add to this as time passes, but for now - enjoy those four! 

And like I said, please feel free to suggest shops for me to add. Shop small - that $25 order for a small business might be the difference between paying for gas for the week or not ... whereas $25 to a corporation means nothing. 

[thecandywrites]

Jewel Of The North Part 7

As always thanks to @monstersandmaw​ for sharing ice orcs with me. 

Now, get some popcorn and a drink and lets watch things blow up in our readers face and her past comes to bite her in the ass, shall we? 

Jewel of the North 

Part 7

On Sunday, Noah and yourself finished your dishes for the family dinner and no matter what Noah tried to say, you were just on edge and anxious about it and you couldn’t shake your gut feeling that it was a bad idea and that something was going to go wrong. He even tried banging the nerves out of you, twice. But all that did was push you to try to hide how nervous and anxious you were. 

The only one Noah warned you about was his sister Alorna who was a stuck up priss and a hypocritical one at that, how she loved to preach about the traditional ways but didn’t feel she needed to live by them herself and was the most “Anglo” out of all of them whereas Neena had practiced what she preached and how Alorna was always at odds with everyone, especially Neena and brought drama wherever she went and to take whatever she would say with a big grain of salt. 

Meanwhile Summer’s tea leaves told her that you were feeling anxious and that you were going to be judged and compared to Neena and she practically drilled into everyone that they needed to be nice and gentle, warm and welcoming and accepting which they were all to happy to comply. 

“Alorna, you’re still coming for the family dinner tomorrow right?” Summer asked as she was on the phone with her the day before. 

“Of course I’m coming, I’m getting the crab now, John got huge tips this week, he gets off at 4 and we’ll be there by five, no problem.” She reassured her mother.  

“And make sure you all bring your best manners too, she’s nervous to meet everyone. We have to be warm and welcoming.” Summer insisted. 

“She’s the one who should bring her best manners, has anyone even checked her out? How do we know she’s not some gold digger or someone working for the developers or the oil company or even the prospectors? They’re getting more and more scheming and devious.” She argued. 

“I can swear to you that she isn’t. She’s come on vacation and made herself and instrument in The God’s Will and I have seen it with my own eyes. She is a blessing and if you scare away this blessing, the gods will not look favorably on you. And if you and your family can’t be nice, you won’t be welcome. You can eat all that crab at your own home and I’ll tell her that you couldn’t make it.” Summer offered in ultimatum. 

Alorna glared in outrage at her phone. 

“No, we’ll be there and we will show her as much respect as she shows us.” Alorna spat before she ended the call before she got what she came for and went home and got out her own best outfit, she was going to be the prettiest woman there while she dug into the name she was given, she looked on Facebook and found so many Zara Kingsley’s but when she crossreferenced LMT’s and Great Lakes and was pretty sure she found you- especially when in the comments, she realized that “Zara” was a nick name. Your full name was a mouthful, but you had quite the following as she went through the facebook feed and the linked businesses facebooks. You owned three seperate businesses, but they were all spa businesses. Cushy jobs, you were beautiful- sure, and your home spa did look luxurious and obviously why you looked as good as you did for being as old as you were, you had your very own spa at your disposal. You were obviously spoiled and used to getting and having everything. 

She then found old pictures of your husband who had not had a Facebook, he was- rather hideous, he was perhaps one of the uglier orcs she had ever seen, so that meant in her mind, he either had a really good personality, a really great dick, he worshiped you like a goddess or he was wealthy and came from a wealthy family and most likely, all of those factors were the only justifications a woman as beautiful as you would be with someone like him. Your children on the other hand were really adorable, your son was handsome and had a facebook of his own which posted a lot of pictures of him in modern dance which she could appreciate, but then she found the pictures and videos of him in ballet, which she thought was rather hysterical if not absurd, shameful and dishonorable. Orc boys did not belong in ballet. Elven boys and human boys and fae boys of course, especially moura boys who were born flamboyant, but not orcs, it was ridiculous. He looked so out of place and it was just... embarrassing. Were you trying to raise a pansy? You took a perfectly good orc boy and turned him into a flower is what you did, heaven forbid you give Noah a son and do the same thing to him as you did your own. There was no way he was going to continue the family line of his natural father. With a few pictures she found your son’s snake channel on You Tube and a little google search told her that it was an expensive hobby which all pointed to your family having a lot of money. 

Your girl though, she was into MMA and martial arts in general, now that- she could approve of. Orcs were natural born warriors and she was a natural. She was also into hunting judging by the pictures of her with game she killed when she went hunting with her grandpa. Well at least the dishonor that your son bathed and rolled around it was not something she shared. She felt pity for your daughter for having such a brother. The poor thing couldn’t choose her family. Well hopefully Noah would straighten Xander out and get him out of those tights and ballet shoes and get him out in the woods or working with him in the plane or something, that was the only way your son could be saved, because you sure weren’t. And doing some math, it was only after your husband died that your son got into ballet and your husband was probably rolling in his grave if he knew how you’ve destroyed his son. The lack of a proper masculine role model was clearly damaging. It was your son that needed rescuing, if not a full on intervention. 

And since you were a widow and judging by your posts, you were a widow for about two years now, you probably used all of your husband’s life insurance policy payout to either buy or build that house that was looking like a small mansion from these images on the business’ facebooks or you or your husband came from money and all of these were just hobbies for you. And when she found the post about what your husband did, another quick google search at what that kind of position payed and if you were wealthy, the wealthy always got life insurance and if you followed the rule of thumb, you got at least a million dollar pay out and that sure did look like a million dollar house to her. How foolish, you used all of your husband’s money to build a mansion with it. But one look at it all and she doubted you’d give this up for Noah. Noah was poor and his house was practically a trailer compared to your mansion, a humble cottage really. Which to her, meant one thing, you were probably going to be taking Noah and Sakura home with you- if this was ever going to go anywhere and the thought made her stomach sour, you were going to buy one of the best pieces of the Arctic Tundra and take it home and put it on a shelf with any other souvineer. The audacity you had!

The only way she was ever going to think otherwise is if you and your family moved up here. And with your tastes for the luxurious, there was really only a few homes that would be suitable because there was no way you would think Noah’s humble abode would be good enough for a princess like you, much less your son. Of course if that happened, you’d probably buy her dream house which was currently on the market. And she’d probably resent you for that too. You were only a blessing to them because you had money. And you could use whatever money your “mansion” sold for and “invest” it in the family. That was all there was too it. Well the least you could do is perhaps get Noah and maybe her parents out of their debt. Maybe pay off their houses if you were humble enough to move in with Noah. And if you’d be treating the family with your spa services for free and uphold all the traditions that Neena wanted to uphold without question or complaint. That was the only way she was going to be happy about this. If you could prove yourself in that way because if she or anyone else in the family had to pay for anything, you would practically be taking advantage of them from her moral point of view. 

Come Sunday you felt like you were a bundle of nerves and one of the ways you found you could try to bury it was you got dressed up in your cutest, most flattering outfit and got dolled up so that you looked picture perfect and tried to make yourself look as sweet and as non-threatening and hopefully likable as possible before you made sure Sakura was looking particularly darling and perfectly precious and did her hair up in curls and braids and got her a new outfit and bow before Noah took you and Sakura to his parent’s house where everyone but Alorna and her husband John were already gathered, all of them eagerly awaiting your arrival, in particular Neena’s family who were especially excited to meet you.

You already knew Summer who introduced Neena’s parents, Isla and Tonrar, Neena’s brother Yakone and his wife Merideth and their children. Neena’s sister Miki and her husband Dave and their kids and Neena’s other sister Sedna and her husband Max and all of their kids before she had you meet the rest of her family- Ukluk, who you recognized from a picture on your parent’s wall. Noah’s brother Nago and his wife Samantha and their kids and of course Noah’s sister Sesi who you got to briefly meet yesterday and her husband Suka and their kids and you were so grateful that you brought so much of all your dishes so that hopefully everyone would get a taste as they all helped you bring in all your dishes and beer and wine and other alcohol from Noah’s truck after they all gave you a series of big hugs as you realized both families were big huggers which was fine by you because each hug you received seemed to settle your nerves a little more and reassure you a little more that it was going to be ok and that perhaps you had been worrying for nothing. All of Sakura’s cousins were awesome and had asked you all kinds of questions about your kids which you were happy to answer. All the boys especially were interested in seeing pictures of your son’s snakes while the girls liked to see the pictures of the other animals in your ‘menagerie’ while all the guys dug into the beer especially and talked among themselves in the living room, leaving the women to talk in the kitchen, around the kitchen island before the kids left to go play in the playroom, Sakura leaving her new hair bow with you so it wouldn't’ get hurt. 

“How do you keep getting so lucky? A priestess and a massage therapist?” Suka jabbed at Noah’s arm and Noah could only shrug but his grin was awfully smug, if not proud, as they sat on the couch together and drank the ridiculously good beer you had brought. 

“And she’s a good cook, her food is making my stomach growl.” Dave admitted. 

“Yeah it was hard not to eat it as she was prepping it all day yesterday. You should have seen the spread she made on Tuesday.” Noah bragged. “She made me and Sakura something called a ‘gosbe’ it’s her clan’s tradition of a wooing feast which I didn’t know that was a thing until days later, after the fact which I wish I knew because it worked like a charm. She made these huge tomahawk steaks, one for each of us and cooked perfectly medium rare with all these sauteed mushrooms, caramelized onions, the mushroom risotto, candied yams with alcohol which I didn’t know you could do but she did and they were the best. She made brussel sprouts with bacon and they were actually really good and broccoli with cheddar that was also amazing. Like, I had never had a vegetable as tasty as she made those. And a death by cheese mac and cheese and rolls, all of it she made by hand, from scratch, I’m pretty sure I gained 20 lbs from that one meal and I was fighting, fighting not to nail her to every surface of my house on Tuesday and she managed to clean my house while she made all that too, like she was wonder woman, made it into a game with Sakura so Sakura helped out too.” Noah revealed as all of his brothers and brothers in law all keened and whimpered at just the sounds of the food. 

“So she’s perfect, you found the unicorn. They stopped making women like that fifty years ago I think.” Nago teased as Noah just laughed but couldn’t argue about that. 

“And she’s a widow?” Max questioned. 

“Yup, been one for about two years and it has only been recently that her kids were ok with her moving on.” Noah answered. 

“Ah, well have you talked to them yet?” Ukluk asked. 

“I did last night, they’re understandably really weary because of extenuating circumstances they have come into a little bit of inheritance and they have already had to deal with vultures and wolves of the ‘walking upright variety’ so her and her kids are pretty gunshy. So it’s just gonna take a lot of time and effort to prove to them that I’m not one too or a threat and not out to take advantage of them in any way- so it’s gonna be a work in progress.” Noah ventured as he chanced a look in the kitchen to get a quick read on you and your body language to make sure you were ok as he noticed you were practically inbetween all of them and the center of attention which you looked like you were handling fairly well which made him grin. 

He had told you that you had been worrying over nothing and that his family and Neena’s family were going to like you and that you had nothing to worry about in the first place. As long as you were yourself and genuine and honest, you were going to be just fine and right now you looked so natural and so in place in his parent’s kitchen, just having wine like one of the girls, besides his own house, you looked like you belonged there and he couldn’t help but think of what you had told Doug yesterday, that you were a jewel and you could decide what setting you wanted to be in and right now, in his humble opinion, you were in your proper setting.  

“But honestly, the way she is with Sakura, even if she didn’t cook or clean or have a career or anything like that. That alone is proof that she’s an answered prayer for Sakura and me.” Noah affirmed as he turned his attention back to all the guys. 

“Well I’m happy for you guys.” Ukluk encouraged his son as Noah smiled and nodded. 

“So when you say she came into some inheritance, what kind of inheritance?” Nago gently prodded. 

“I don’t know and frankly I’m scared of asking or finding out because apparently everyone who finds out becomes a gold digger and comes after her. Because that’s what happened to Doug Kizzo last night. Turned that asshole into a gold digging bootlicker overnight. We were at Taylor’s house getting the rest of her stuff so she can stay with me and we weren’t there five minutes and Doug rolled in there with the biggest bouquet of flowers I’ve ever seen in my life, wearing a suit and he begged her to leave me for him and threw me and all the native clans under the bus, insulting every tradition we have and tried to appeal to her “anglo sensibilities” and that he would worship her like a goddess and cater to her every whim and desire and some crazy, off his rocker bullshit and Zara shut him down and had Taylor ready to call the cops because she’s already had guys find out about it and quit their jobs, sell everything they had to buy a ferrari and pull up in her driveway from across the lower 48, ready to throw her kids into summer camp and take her to Europa to sweep her off her feet, kind of crazy bullshit so what none of us are going to do is ask her about it or try to play FBI- looking into it. She just wants to be a normal mom and LMT, and we’re going to give her that and I swear to every god in the realm if any of you go digging into her, I’ll disown you.” Noah warned them. 

“Because we’re better than that.” Ukluk insisted. 

“That won’t be a problem right boys?” Tonrar insisted as he looked out over the rest of them as they all nodded even though Suka was looking like he was gonna die because the curiosity was killing him. 

Meanwhile back in the kitchen- 

“Aren’t you just as pretty as a picture.” Isla fawned as she gave you another big hug after you had popped open all the bottles of wine for the ladies who were all eager to try it all the different kinds with you. 

“Thank you.” You graciously thanked her. 

“How much did you spend on all this?” Sesi asked as she looked at it all. 

“It doesn’t matter, as long as you like it, it’s money well spent. When I was flying around with Noah this week, I unexpectedly got to work on his clients who all paid me really well, which I didn’t think I would be making any money while I was up here, so I used some of that money to splurge on this- so don’t worry about me exceeding my budget or anything like that, no one is going to go hungry or anything and this isn’t going to be any kind of hardship for me, I did it because I wanted to and no- no one is going to be paying me back. It’s a gift.” You reassured them as you refilled a few of their glasses, Isla’s and Summer’s especially. 

��Well, you didn’t need to go all out. Even if you had just brought one, it would have been more than enough because Sakura told me on Wednesday when I was helping watch her with Summer that when she hugged you for the first time on Monday, it felt like she was hugging her mom again and when you watched her on Tuesday and cooked with her and played with her and most importantly prayed with her in Intuk and you were so incredibly respectful of her heritage and wanted to keep those traditions alive, you have no idea how much all of that meant to all of us.” She praised.

“You’re welcome, I was raised to be respectful of all cultures and traditions, especially when they were not my own. And not to be weird- but the feeling towards Sakura was mutual, when I hugged her for the first time, it just felt like I was hugging my own children after I gave birth to them and I got to hold them for the first time. That’s the only way I can explain it because I’m sure all of you have had that- ‘there you are, my most precious possession, I have waited so long to finally meet you, I’m gonna love you forever’ feeling when you held your own kids the first time after birth? That’s what I felt when I got to hold her for the first time and from there I was helpless to fight against all my mothering ‘must protect and care for this child’- instincts towards her and Noah of course has been nothing but amazing from the start. Really nice, really respectful, really professional, supportive, understanding and of course protective without being smothering or overbearing which is a hard balance for anyone.” You bravely confessed as you chanced a glance at Noah to make sure he was at least close in case you needed saving because Noah had told you to tell them that and that they would believe you and would be so happy and relieved to hear that and that it would endear you to them the way it endeared you to him. So for them to hear that confession, you might as well have brought out a kitten or the most adorable puppy ever, all the women fawned at hearing that before they started hugging you again as a few of them got a little teary eyed. 

“You have no idea how long and how hard all of us have been praying for that exact thing to happen. And it’s not weird at all- that’s The Gods’ Will, the fact that you said those exact words without any prompting from us- tells us that there is no better or no safer place for Sakura than with you and you have been the one we’ve been waiting for.” She reassured you and you felt a little gutted because you were sure she was gonna take those words back when she found out you were potentially taking Sakura away. 

“So speaking of traditions, are there any in particular that you really want to see Sakura hold true to?” You asked thoughtfully. 

“Well there’s the summer festival, those are always a really big deal up here, there’s the singing and dancing, which we don’t expect you to perform, especially on such short notice. ” Isla explained. 

“Ok, is there anything else? Other than the daily prayers, the language and the summer festival?” You prodded before you noticed a few of them looked questioningly to each other as you could see a few of them seemed to want to tell you something but a thinly veiled look from the others were keeping them quiet. 

“Well since Noah is the head of the house, he should probably be the one to decide which traditions he wants Sakura to follow.” Sedna suggested before the kids came barreling through the kitchen chasing each other. 

“Hey Sakura,” you called out to her before she turned and came back to you. 

“Yeah Mama?” Sakura asked. 

“I was talking to your family about traditions, which ones do you really want to keep true to?” You asked her. 

“The Talik!” Sakura answered.  

“Cool, what is it?” You asked. 

“It’s basically a mother daughter dance at the summer festival.” Summer supplied. 

“Aw, is it really complicated?” You asked. 

“It can be.” Summer nodded. 

“But I can try to teach you later Mama, you’re a really good dancer when you were dancing with my Daddy yesterday in the kitchen while you were cooking so you should pick it up really easy.” Sakura reassured you which got all the women to fawn at the news Noah and you danced in the kitchen while cooking, so romantic. 

“And the Kaskae,” Sakura insisted. “It’s where all the warchief’s and their sons dance, it’s really fun, Daddy’s always really good in it.” She explained. 

“Oh, I didn’t realize he was a warchief’s son.” You answered. 

“Grandson. It’s Ukluk’s father who’s the warchief and he had eight sons and several daughters each of those sons had a ton of kids too so it ends up being just about every guy in the clan that dances in that dance.” Summer explained. 

“And the Kunik.” Sakura giggled which got the other women to giggle with her. 

“Uh oh, what’s the kunik?” You asked playfully as you tried not to giggle yourself. 

“It means ‘kiss’ so it’s the newly wed dance, all those who either got married or will get married dance together.” Isla explained. 

“I see.” You nodded and your instincts told you that what Doug was alluding to was probably this and wondered if there was a ritualistic part where the younger ones would take part in that dance at least ceremonially. 

“Well it all sounds really fun and I can’t wait to see it in person.” You assured them before Sakura got called back to play with the kids. 

“And did my mama tell you she’s an heiress! She’s teaching me how to be one too!” Sakura added proudly before she ran off as you blushed and smiled and laughed a little nervously as they looked from Sakura’s retreating fram to you as Noah nearly spit out his beer as he practically jumped off the couch to come into the kitchen to intervene and stopped Sakura in her tracks. 

“Honey, that’s her personal business, and we don’t talk about anyone’s personal business.” Noah began to get after her which got everyone to pause and look at each other as Suka practically bounced off the couch too and got another beer which happened to be in the kitchen. 

“It’s ok, it’s the truth. I wasn’t born into money and I didn’t necessarily marry into it either. But I did inherit a few estates when my grandparents died and I’ve been managing them ever since,  that’s all, it’s a long, sad, story.” You informed them as you tried to waive off the details before Sakura slipped away to join her cousins again. 

“I wouldn’t mind hearing it.” Isla gently prodded. Before you took a deep breath and stiffened up your posture before Noah came over and put his arm around you and held you to his side as he was ready to come to your defense. 

“Me either.” Suka and Sesi murmured as Noah glared at them as all the women noticed how defensive Noah was getting and realized from your body language you were getting defensive too. 

“You know what, Noah’s right, we don’t need to know, don’t worry about it.” Samantha dismissed. 

“Agreed, if you’re uncomfortable talking about it, then don’t. We were just curious.” Meredith seconded. 

“Zara, really, you don’t have to say anything, you were telling me on Monday how you’ve dealt with people who’ve acted like vultures and wolves once they found out about it and you’ve learned to be very defensive about it because you don’t want to get eaten alive or preyed upon over it and you wanted to teach Sakura those same lessons but without her having to go through it herself and honestly that was more than enough for me. You’re basically a member of the family and all of us are more than willing and ready to defend you against those who mean you harm. I know you will defend Sakura against those who mean her harm too and that’s all that matters. You don’t know us that well, you don’t have to bare your soul and all your scars to us when you don’t know us that well. Especially when we have yet to show you ours.” Summer very calmly and very warmly reassured you from her spot next to you as you breathed out in relief and smiled appreciatively at her. 

“Honey, if it’s that big of a deal to you, I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to pry, I was just curious. Sakura is an heiress too but dealing with it has been nothing but headaches for all of us. And she’s had her own wolves and vultures and it honestly gives me peace that you have experience in dealing with that and can help her. That’s all I need to know.” Isla apologized profusely which made you feel guilty but the validation was like a soothing balm. 

“Look, you can’t blame her, she just had Doug Kizzo turn into a vulture just last night, and she’s still a little shaken up and on high alert from that.” Noah pointed out as all the girls gasped in horror. 

“He’s an asshole already, I can’t imagine what he was like if he turned into a vulture.” Samantha realized with a grimace as did all the other people who at this point had come to gather around in the kitchen. 

“What did that bastard do?” Isla growled. 

“Well first, Greg spent the last two days hyping him up and gassing him and Taylor told me that Doug had actually been camping out at her house, waiting to ambush me when I would eventually return to get my stuff, even though Taylor has been practically screaming at the top of her lungs that it’s not gonna work and that I’m not interested and they wouldn’t listen to her, like at all. Because when I went on a blind date with him on Monday, I picked up on the narcissistic asshole immediately and it wasn’t the worst date I’ve ever been on but he took me out earning him and not needing him or his income as a blow to his ego. So I get there, the second I’m through the door Greg texted Doug to tell him I’m there, as I’m gathering my personal belongings so I can continue to stay with Noah- Doug comes hauling ass over to their house and makes this huge, stupid, grand romantic gesture with a hundred roses, wearing a suit and bathing in cologne and hair gel.” You began before a few of them sniggered a laugh. 

“And he’s making this big long spiel about how he’s ready to follow me to the ends of the earth, worship me like the goddess I am, how he’ll make sure I never have to work, let alone cook or clean for the rest of my life.” You recalled. 

“Which is rich because he can’t do either, I know because my sister is his ex wife and he didn’t do jack shit when he was married to her, hence, the divorce.” Samantha spat in disgust. 

“He would probably use her inheritance to hire a maid and a personal chef.” Noah sneered and you watched as they all seemed to roll their eyes or snigger another laugh. 

“Anyway, so I tell him to take a hike and ask him what happened between Monday and yesterday because Monday he was so not interested and yesterday he’s obsessive and so instead of admitting he’s a douchebag, he sees Noah who came in to check on me and he throws Noah under the bus and outright attacks Noah and his character and thank the gods that Noah was able to have some self control because I was ready to beat his ass and if it hadn’t been for Noah to get me out of that situation, the police would have gotten involved, again, because they always do when that happens.” You revealed as all of them were just staring in various stages of disgust and horror. 

“No wonder you didn’t want to say anything! Oh you poor thing. That’s just awful, no wonder you’re defensive, you’ve had to be to survive that.” Isla realized. 

“Well the worst part is what that’s done to her kids, both of her kids are understandably super weary of strangers, which is why I’m not taking any offense to their own defensive attitude towards me.” Noah pointed out. 

“Oh I didn’t think of that. Do they just..hate every stranger now because of that?” Sedna asked. 

“Just about, because the first couple guys who pulled an “Alex” which is the name of the first guy who tried that on us, he actually talked his own kids into stalking mine in school, like he pulled his kids out of their school and put them into my kid’s school for the sole purpose of getting as close as possible to mine, like one of them, he had him repeat a grade to get into my son’s class and had all of his kids phishing for information to use against them and me and try to divide and conquer my family.” You revealed. 

“No!” Isla and the other women blanched. 

“Oh I’m gonna be sick.” Summer groaned. 

“That’s unthinkable, like, that’s so messed up. Like they didn’t have a shred of decency or respect or honor to do that.” Isla insisted. 

“No they didn’t, so once the police got involved, then he backed off and once I and my kids got a restraining order against him and his kids, he went to jail for getting his kids involved. But by the third time an asshole tried the whole ‘swooping in with a big romantic gesture’ kind of thing, they got wise and they’re beyond fed up with it and when they had to change schools when we moved into the new house this past September, they had a hard time making friends because they just plain don’t like new people. They have taken a similar stance that the mafia takes which is- you have to be introduced to them by someone they trust. Which is basically, they only have a handful of friends that they had made before everything went to shit when most of their support system all died within the span of three months and that handful of people who they trust, those are the only people who they trust to introduce new people to them. And they have gotten really, really good at reading people and deciphering whether someone is being genuine with them and they have their own tests for it. And anyone who fails, they immediately cut off and once that decision is made, they don’t look back.” You warned them. 

“So what happened the second time a guy tried to make a grand gesture?” Sesi asked curiously. 

“I called the cops and my dogs wouldn’t let them get out of their car and actually bit the bumpers and mirrors off the car.  The third time it happened, my son had the police on the phone and my daughter, getting impatient, got her father’s rifle out of the safe from the second story, had the rifle resting on the window sill, and shot the guy’s tires out and held him at gunpoint until the police did arrive, which was terrifying. Of course, them hearing gunshots and hearing Xander screaming ‘Stop shooting! Put the gun down!’ They thought the guy was the one who had the gun and had me and my kids at gunpoint so they came barreling in and Xander managed to get the gun from Skylar and get it put away by the time the cops rolled into the driveway and I’m inside consoling both of them. And the police beat this guy into the concrete of my driveway, like, he came in looking like a million bucks and he left looking like a road penny. And after that I learned to change all the safe codes, because my husband and I were already responsible gun owners before, but now, they are really locked away and only ever used under adult supervision and my kids got into therapy because that was really, really traumatic for both of them and me. And now I have a gate at my driveway and all kinds of cameras all over my property and all my clients get a special code whenever they come to have their treatments.” You explained. 

“And that’s what you’re walking into?” Suka asked Noah. 

“Yup.” Noah nodded. 

“You’re a braver man than I am.” Suka admitted. 

“That’s for sure.” Sedna muttered as Sesi glared her. 

“It’s just gonna take time and effort. Besides, I kinda like her, and I want to keep her around, she kinda makes me happy, and Sakura happy. Sure she has enough baggage to fill a jumbo jet, she’s been through hell, it’s kind of expected at this point.” Noah tried to joke which got you to laugh. 

“Yeah, that’s true, so here’s why we’re all like this but please don’t repeat any of this, so eleven years ago when I was in massage school, my school had a clinic for the students to get their practical learning hours in and sometimes clients of the clinic really click with you and bond to you and end up following you as clients once you graduate and that happened to me. Even though, I got pregnant when I was in school because the massage teacher swore that two women out of every class get pregnant, Well I had a big class and I was one of five and that’s how I conceived Xander, but anyway, I picked up about 2 dozen older couples as clients- who were between my parent’s age and my grandparents age at the time. And these wonderful people watched my belly grow and felt my babies kick and got me baby shower presents and saw me through both of my pregnancies and watched my kids grow up and in the process of living and working and befriending each other, we grew really really close as friends and they basically adopted me as a grandkid because I took such good care of them because most of them either didn’t have children or the ones that did, their children were out state and they never got to see each other so I took care of them because my own maternal and paternal grandparents were also out of state but they had other members of the extended family close to them to take care of them.” You began. 

“So at the time they didn’t need much because almost all of them were physically mobile and had all their faculties and mental clarity and their independence and I was able to help them keep that precious independence for as long as possible so that they didn’t have to go into nursing homes and they could continue to take care of themselves. And then about five years ago, the pneumonia was really bad that year and almost all of them lost their spouses. Some lost husbands or some lost wives and they were left all alone but they still wanted to be independent and so a lot of them would just come over to my house, I’d make them breakfast, have a pot of tea or coffee and hang out and they would watch my kids and cook me lunch and sometimes dinner like any other grandparent occasionally does so I could work out of my home office while my husband went into work and each one had their own specific day where they got to play grandparents and they got to celebrate all the high holidays with me and my family so they wouldn’t be alone. And then two years ago my husband Andy died at work from an accident, out of the blue and I was completely blindsided by it and if it wasn’t for them, I don’t know how I would have gotten through it. And they all paid for me to meet with their financial advisors and lawyers and helped me invest and structure Andy’s life insurance policy payouts so that I could live modestly off the interest instead of using it all up trying to pay off debt and stuff and still trying to pay for the house because at the time, the house I am living in now was still under construction and they barely knocked the delapedated house down and cleared it out and dug the foundations of the old farm house out that had been there. And the house we were going to build was our dream house that his parents had helped us finance, he had gotten a really good raise at work, most of our debt was getting paid down, we weren’t going to expand our family and I was working from home and we made all these plans and just as things got started, it all came crashing down. So it was, really awful timing but they helped me get through it and they helped me use all the money I had come into from his death- wisely and invest it well, so well in fact that I was able to take just the interest off of most of it and replace my husband’s income with just the interest so myself and my children would be taken care of so I wouldn’t have to overextend myself trying to work full time to be the primary caregiver and caretaker and primary breadwinner because being a single parent is really hard and really expensive.”  You explained. 

“Wow, that’s really smart to invest it though.” Meredith nodded in agreement as did the others. 

“And so anyway, we get through that, and one of them told me that when he passed away, he was leaving everything he had to me and so I just assumed it was just his house which was a nice house in the suberbs and his car which was a nice daily driver and I thought was really sweet and agreed to it because he didn’t have any kids or any surviving family that he knew too well and he felt I was deserving, little did I know the guy had a couple million dollars in the bank and a really old, really rare, really amazing sports car in his garage that was also worth a fortune but I digress. What I also didn’t know is all of them, all of my adopted grandparents even though they knew each other through me and befriended each other, they all decided separately to all go to their lawyers, and none of them used the same lawyers and all of them left me either something really valuable in their estates in the cases where they had kids, or in the 15+ cases where they didn’t have any kids or grandkids- they left me everything they had but none of them told each other or me, only one told me that that’s what they were going to do for me but because of my confidentiality agreement, I didn’t tell any of the others that because anything anyone discloses to me, especially while I’m working and in session- I never repeat, that’s part of the job because I can get sued for breaking that client confidentiality, that’s how serious it is. Anyway, so then just a few months after Andy died, just as everything seemed to be settling down and I was learning how to live without him and how to juggle everything and find a new groove and make progress and still try to build the house, another round of pneumonia came around and killed all of my surviving adopted grandparents off within the span of a week and a half, because they all decided to get together one night and play bridge at someone else’s house and that someone else had it and passed it to them. When they first got sick and I took them to the doctor and they got diagnosed with either pneumonia or double pneumonia, I had hospice called in for only a couple of days and boom, it felt like overnight, they just all- died…” You explained as you tried not to cry at the memory as everyone got so quiet just listening intently to you. 

“And for me, it was absolutely hectic because no sooner had I gotten all their animals and took all their animals home with me along with their valuables like jewelry and important paperwork like deeds and titles and bank records, I had to go back and clean out their fridges and freezers and cupboards of all the food so nothing would spoil and I would be at the food banks dropping it all off and then I would get another call from hospice for another one because I was their power of attorney and I was informed that another passed and I just did a cycle of- they’re dead, take all the animals home, come back, clean out the fridge, the freezer, the cupboards, give all the food to the food banks and all their clothes to Goodwill, then come back and give the house a good cleaning and then lock it up and move on to the next one’- all while arranging or helping to arrange- 26 funerals within a week. I was preparing and planning and executing 26 funerals all at the same time and it felt like just one big long funeral to me and practically slept in the same black dress for a week and I was beyond numb by the end of it and my parents moved down from the northern Great Lakes to the Southern Great Lakes to be with me and the kids and help me through it all and another week after that as I was finalizing all of their final affairs, that’s when I learned that I had inherited everything from 15+ couples and then lots of somethings from the other 11. So now I have 30 plus houses in my care and they’re just...sitting there, winterized and empty. And I am still, two years later, overwhelmed by it all. So um, please don’t get mad at me or Noah but I was talking to Noah about it and he suggested that we could flip them which had been my plans initially anyway. But they’re all very dated and would need to be updated before they could be sold on the market. So since Noah’s season ends in September slash October, he offered that he and Sakura would come down for the winter, get Sakura in school and Noah could work on flipping the houses for an hourly rate and a percentage of the final sale while I continued running my own businesses since it’s the fall, winter and spring that are my busiest times of the year and that’s when I make the biggest bulk of my own income and just see how that goes.” You suggested as you held your breath and waited for the floor to drop as they all looked from you to Noah expectantly but otherwise didn’t react negatively, but mostly just looking for a confirmation. 

“But that is contingent on Zara’s kids meeting me and liking me and approving of that idea because those houses are part of their inheritance too and they have every reason and every right to be weary of me until they get to know me and I have a chance to earn their respect and trust because of their shared past, I understand that they’re a family unit and they’re part of the package but when they do get to meet me and if they like me and if we even get go that far, I think it’s gonna be fun, I had a blast building my house and helping build everyone else’s houses and help build this house even. And all things considered, Sakura would have been going to school either way and she would have done it either up here or she can do it down there and I would prefer her to go down there because she’ll be with her kids and make new friends. Plus Zara’s kids are into a lot of extracurriculars that the Frozen Tundra just doesn’t have up here and I’m not gonna ask them to give any of those up, especially for me, especially since they haven’t met me in person yet. So right now they’re coming up with how that’s gonna happen and hopefully we’ll find a way to make it work and hopefully we’ll be able to get along. Plus Sakura might get the advantage of getting a new perspective and a fresh start which we both sorely need right now and she may end up getting into the same extracurriculars that Zara’s kids are into.” Noah added as he rubbed soothing circles into your back from his spot right next to you. 

“What kind of extracurriculars are your kids into?” Sesi asked curiously. 

“Ballet, modern dance, tumbling, gymnastics, martial arts, hockey, hunting, fishing, archery, knives, snakes, horses and just 4H in general.” You listed off as all of their eyebrows rose in surprise. 

“Yeah, we have the hunting, fishing and archery up here and the hockey and some martial arts but that’s...that’s it.” Miki answered. 

“So like, half of them so unless both of your kids are into both, one of them isn’t going to be happy about it.” Sedna realized. 

“And both of them need to be happy with the arrangement, I won’t settle for less and I don’t want them to settle either, I mean if this was the other way around, and I had two kids instead of one and only one of them would have what they’re into available to them while the other had nothing, it would be a no go deal for me because their happiness is more important than mine and Zara and her children shouldn’t have to give up everything they love and sacrifice their happiness for anything.” Noah insisted as they all had to nod along that that was a good and fair argument. 

“But snakes? Really?” Sedna asked as she grimaced at the thought. 

“Yeah my son is really into animals and breeds ball pythons as a hobby and he’s hand raised all our chickens from chicks and he manages the menagerie that I inherited really well. He’s very detailed and specific and likes to have things ‘just so’ and he’s one of those- likes to have every move mapped out in a logical sequence before he makes the first one which makes him a terrifying chess player and he’s facinated by genetics. Whereas my daughter follows her heart and her gut rather than her head most of the time and is very reactionary, which is why she’s in martial arts is to learn self discipline and self control.” You explained.  

“That makes sense.” Isla nodded in understanding. 

“But what about your house and your plane?” Sesi asked Noah.  

“Oh I told him to keep both. It does get much hotter down there than it does up here and I know from my own schooling that some orcs who are used to cold climates actually get sick if they get too hot.” 

“So what you could do is just spend the off season at the Great Lakes at Zara’s house, and then spend the shorter flight season that’s only three months long up here that are the hottest months down there, up here, that way we’ll still be able to see Sakura when we normally would have, your kids can take their summer vacations up here when they’re off school so Noah and Sakura don’t get too hot or chance getting sick and Noah can still earn a living as a pilot so he doesn’t have to give that up completely and you can still practice your massage up here if you want to either from Noah’s house or one of the hunting lodges and retreats and you guys can have a dual residency.” Miki realized before you turned to Noah to give him a hopeful look because that sounded awesome to you as he was mirroring that look. 

“Yeah that could totally work.” You agreed as you and Noah were both nodding to that.  

“So where is the baby picture of me on the wall?” You asked Summer before she brought you to the living room where she had collages of her family on the wall. 

“So I take it you’re the newborn?” Sesi asked. 

“Nope, I’m the toddler. Jewel orcs are born a really dark, drab olive green and brown, it’s a built in defense mechanism and camouflage. But between two and three, they change, the olive green turns teal and the brown turns blue and purple. Imagine my parent’s surprise when that happened to me because their parents were only partially paradise orc and it wasn’t until the great grandparents met me that they confirmed that that’s what happens because I only had a one in 32nd chance of coming out paradise orc, I had much higher chances of looking more dark elf like my sisters, I had a one in four chance of either that happening or not looking orc at all, cause I also had a one in four chance of looking human or a one in eight turning out more moura than I am and I had a one in two chance of looking gold rush or great lakes orc and then because my husband was half paradise orc himself even though he favored the southern great lakes which is more jade green as opposed to the deep turquoise, both of my kids turned out paradise orc, so even though it was a slim chance, I just happened to hit the odds, but the cool thing was after I transitioned into my jewel orc colors, I stopped getting mistaken for a boy over night. Because that’s what happened to my own kids see?” You urged as you got your phone out and pulled up pictures of your own kids before and during and after the change as they all ‘oohed’ in understanding. 

“So how is Grusta?” Ukluk asked. 

“You can ask him yourself, they should be done with Sunday worship by now.” You answered as you got your phone and called him. 

“Yeah Baby?” Your dad answered. 

“Hey Dad, guess who I’m having dinner with?” You prompted him. 

“Who?” Your dad answered. 

“Ukluk Kintuck and his family and the Yural family.” You revealed. 

“Really?!” Your dad gasped in delighted surprise. 

“Yeah, here, say hi,” you offered before you gave the phone over to Ukluk who started talking with your dad and they started talking and catching up on the last 30+ years they had been apart as your dad told Ukluk that he was currently helping his grandkids look into Noah as Tonrar accompanied Ukluk because he wanted a chance to speak to your dad too as they walked to the back porch because that’s where the best service was for cell phones before Noah’s sister Alorna and her husband John Wilks came in late and you nearly gave yourself whiplash giving John a double take. 

Oh shit. 

“Noah,” you breathed as he turned to consider you. 

“Hey, uh, so John and I have already met, and uh, he’s not gonna like me and he’s probably about to pull you and every other guy in here aside to tell you to dump me but before you believe every word he says about me and what I did in his presence, just give me a chance to defend myself ok?” You pleaded to Noah who knitted his eyebrows together in contemplation but still smiled adoringly at you and kissed you really quick because you were so close since his arm was around your shoulders. 

“Don’t worry about it. I ain’t changing my mind, no matter what.” Noah reassured you and you wanted to laugh because this sweet sweet man still had no idea who and what was standing right next to him.  

“Hey, come in and meet Zara,” Sesi urged her sister and brother in law as John was looking at you in disbelief, like you were a ghost but he did his best to remain cool and nonchalant. 

“Zara, this is my sister Alorna and her husband John and their kids Johnny Jr. and Gabby.” Sesi introduced. 

“Hi I’m Zara Kingsley, pleasure to meet you.” You greeted them as Alorna offered her hand for you to shake which you obliged instead of giving you a hug as you could tell John was trying not to blurt out how he knew you before you could see John take out his phone and try to subtly shoot Noah a text after he had put their broaster on the food table as Alorna seemed to look you over with thinly veiled criticism. 

‘We need to talk privately NOW.’ John texted Noah. 

‘About?’ Noah answered.

‘Your GF, she’s trouble.’

Noah looked at his phone and looked at it disbelievingly and looked at John the same way as John pointedly looked at the door and back to Noah and back to the door then back to Noah meaningfully as some of the other members of the family looked on curiously because John was acting strange. 

“Hey Noah, I need your help bringing in the beer Bud.” John hinted heavily as you just grinned knowingly. 

You fucking called it. 

“Ok,” Noah nodded before he unwrapped his arm around your shoulders and walked with John back out of the house. 

“We can help too.” Suka offered. 

“No, I think John and I can handle it by ourselves.” Noah immediately dismissed them and there was an insistent tone in his voice when he said it that had Suka stopping in his tracks before he looked from their backs to a few of the other guys who by now were either shrugging it off or looking at each other meaningfully because they picked up on it. 

“Hey um, I know you just met her and all, and I know she’s probably the most beautiful woman any of us have ever seen in our lives, but listen, that woman is a snake in the grass, she is a man eating she-wolf and I know from looking at her from your parent’s livingroom, she doesn’t look it but Dude, I saw her take down a whole table of pilots on Wednesday night. She has a thing for pilots and she ate every single one of them alive and she seriously fucked them up, like it’s been four days and they still can’t walk, they can barely crawl and they had to be carried out of the bar, they couldn’t even walk out.” John professed. 

“What did Zara do to them?” Noah asked, worried that you had gotten into a bar fight or something.  

“Dude, that’s not even her full name! She’s pretending to be Anglo, she’s not Anglo, she’s Siberian. She came into the bar with the hottest most sexiest gold dress and everyone was drawn to her like a moth to a flame and she burned everyone.” John insisted. 

“Ok, was she alone?” Noah asked worriedly. 

“No, Taylor was with her, call her yourself, she’ll tell you! But you have to believe me! I don’t know what kind of spell she has you under but you need to break out of it. I know it’s hard, hell I was under her spell too, don’t tell your sister but I was ready to fuck her so hard she couldn’t walk straight and I’ve been fantasizing about her ever since and I know that sounds awful, but she had her pick of the whole bar and she chose Derek and Evan’s group and their game wasn’t even that good. Look I have pictures.” John told him before he brought up pictures of you at the bar as Noah looked closely at them. 

“What was she doing?” Noah asked as he looked them over. You did look hotter than sin. And if he was honest, if that’s how you looked when you first met him, he probably would have reacted the way these guys did but seeing you in these guys’ laps with their hard ons tenting their pants behind your butt  and their arms wrapped around you had jealousy and possessiveness eating him alive. 

“Everything ok out here?” Suka asked as he peeked his head out the door to see Noah and John next to John’s open trunk. 

“Yeah, we got this, get back inside or else you’ll let all the mosquitoes in.” Noah urged his brother in law firmly before Suka shrunk back. 

“What’s going on out there?” Dave asked Suka. 

“Something Noah doesn’t want us to know about, he’s awfully defensive.” Suka murmured as they stood by the door and looked out of the window by the door from the kitchen as all the women were engaging you in conversation. 

Meanwhile outside. 

“She was doing some kind of erotic massage on all of them, all of them creamed their pants while she did it too.” John answered. “It sounded like they were fucking right there in the bar.” John professed. 

“Moscow Doll.” Noah realized as he mumbled that under his breath. 

“Yeah! That’s what they called her because they got so drunk they couldn’t remember her name. But ask her what her full name is, It’s Zara- Zahn-something, Vol-something.” He urged Noah. 

“Zara Zahnochka Volchietsa Kingsley.” Noah supplied. 

“Yeah, wait, how do you know that? Did she tell you?” John pressed. 

“Yeah, that’s her priestess name, she’s a priestess for Aura.” Noah supplied. 

“Oh, ok, yeah, that explains that Siberian connection. But still Dude, don’t trust her with anything, she’ll take it and run, I’ve seen it before, like I know Sakura is head over heels for her but Sakura will get over it, you don’t want a woman like Zara raising Sakura. She’s going to be nothing but a bad influence and you know Neena wouldn’t be cool with you moving on with a predator like her, she’s gonna eat you alive my friend and leave you worse than Neena did when she passed.” John urged desperately as Noah frowned in concentration as he continued to look at the pictures skeptically.

"She hasn't touched you yet has she?" John asked worriedly as he noticed Noah wasn’t really saying much in response to this.

"She has actually." Noah confirmed. "But obviously she hasn't done me any harm." Noah defended. 

"Wait, have you slept with her already?" John asked, torn because he was weary but jealous all the same. "No, you did- didn't you. Oh gods, was at least good? Crazy pussy is the best pussy and I'm both thrilled yet terrified how she's gonna spit you out- yet jealous because of course a woman that hot would be a good lay. But think about Sakura, do you want Sakura to turn into that?" John pointed at your image as you straddled Evan's lap a wolfish grin on your pretty painted lips. 

Meanwhile Alorna was looking you up and down skeptically herself. Alorna was drop dead gorgeous too and you could tell she was used to being the most beautiful person in the room and you wondered if she felt threatened by your own beauty. 

“Well let’s get dinner ready to eat.” Summer suggested before you got everything organized on the tables.  

“Well I brought king crab legs. John got super big tips this week.” Alorna bragged as she took the lid off the broaster to show it full of king crab legs. 

“Oh that’s awesome and very generous, I just made mushroom risotto and a side of sauteed mushrooms, candied yams and death by cheese mac and cheese and caramelized onions and Noah made some awesome Salmon.” You praised as you showed her your own dishes in Noah’s pots and pans of the dishes. 

“Oh,” Alorna grinned smugly. “So Anglo, is all the experience you have with family dinners just the high holidays? You might as well have brought a turkey.” She practically sneered with a condescending giggle through her nose as Neena’s sisters and sisters in law and even her own sisters and mother all cut their eyes at Alorna because they brought humble but familiar dishes themselves. 

“Nope I did.” Sesi piped up rebelliously, as she put her turkey on the table from out of the oven as Alorna quickly rolled her eyes. 

“And I brought good ol’ roasted potatoes.” Samantha added as her and Nago just shook their heads at Alorna before all of the other women pointed out to you what they had brought too as the food tables were practically overflowing with food around the dining room table. 

“And moose and reindeer roasts to round it out.” Ukluk cheered once he put the reindeer roasts on the table as Tonrar put moose roasts on the table before he handed you your phone back since he had spent this whole time talking and catching up with your dad and exchanged phone numbers so they could keep in touch as Tonrar had done the same with your dad and Ukluk was so tickled that you were basically family found at this point as your dad gave Ukluk the run down of what had happened to you, how you had been a good, discrete, modest and loyal wife and an amazing cook and a somewhat decent housekeeper but because of an accident at your husband’s work you were a widow and mother of two and doing your best to take care of them and how you stood squarely on your own feet and taking care of your parents in their retirement years as well and how if Noatak was anything like Ukluk and could make you happy, your dad was happy to give his blessing on the match and vouch for Noah to your kids which Ukluk agreed to do so as well since he trusted his friend to be honest with him and Tonrar was ready to do the same. 

“Ooh, all this looks really good Zara,” Ukluk praised as Tonrar hummed in agreement. 

“Thanks, I know it’s not as glamorous as Alorna’s dish, she brought the crab.” You deferred. 

“Eh, crab is to us what chicken probably is to you, not that big of a deal. Those mushrooms though, I’m gonna have those all over my roast,” Ukluk replied as Alorna frowned and the other women snorted a laugh and gave each other meaningful looks. 

“And these onions smell divine, I’m definitely having both the mushrooms and the onions on the moose. I know caramelized onions are a labor of love and take a lot of time and patience, and I’ve never had risotto but that looks amazing, thank you.” Tonrar thanked you as he gave you a squeeze from the side before you returned the side hug. 

“You’re welcome.” You smiled. 

“Where’s Noah and John?” Ukluk asked. 

“Outside getting beer.” Alorna answered before Ukluk sighed before he left and opened the front door, passing the guys who were still watching from the window as John was talking and gesturing wildly about what was on his phone that he was having Noah look at. 

“Something’s up.” Yakone murmured as he watched them too as they were all thoroughly enjoying the beer you had already bought and brought in, and all of them had been impressed and grateful that you had excellent tastes in booze.

“Hey! Get your asses inside! Food’s getting cold!” Ukluk barked as Summer quickly whispered ‘when they get back inside, own it’ into your ear before Noah gave John his phone back. 

“Don’t show those to anyone else. I’ll get to the bottom of it on my own, let’s just have a nice dinner ok? Don’t make a scene and keep your mouth shut about this.” Noah insisted to John as John and Noah quickly grabbed the rest of the beer and came back inside to join everyone else as everyone seemed to grab their second choice for a bottle of beer from them before Noah took one of the best ones that you had bought and sat down next to you at the table before Ukluk urged everyone to bow their heads so he could offer a prayer over the food as Sakura happily grabbed your hand to hold it as you offered your upturned hand to Noah discreetly under the table before he readily took it and held it on top of the table before he let it go so he could wrap his arm around you again before holding your hand with his other hand and any tension you had that Noah was going to distance himself from you melted away. Ukluk gave a beautiful prayer thanking the gods for bringing you here and bringing family back to them and over the food and then after the prayer everyone was quick to get a plate, Ukluk and Tonrar being the first to go through the line followed by Summer and Isla and then the moms went after that to make sure all the kids got fed first before any of the dads did. 

“Wait, what do you mean she’s family found?” John asked as they went around the food tables.

“Yeah, my old air force buddy Grusta Wainwright, Zara is his eldest daughter. Her baby picture is on our wall with Duska and Dakota, apparently paradise orcs are born olive green and brown and turn peacock colors when they’re toddlers,” Ukluk informed John and Alorna proudly before he explained how you and your sister Blossom were born up here and how you had moved away when you were a toddler and since then, your dad had started a plumbing business in the Great Lakes with your brother Gavin and had taken on a couple of your brothers in law and all of them became jack of all trades and how there was a branch right where you lived that your dad still managed in his semi-retirement and how your parent’s friends had kids and you stayed in touch with them and became friends and came up to visit them and met Noah as Summer was looking at you, giving you an encouraging smile and nod. 

“Oh,” John and Alorna answered as Alorna was considering whether or not she had judged you too harshly from just your facebook.  

“And John, I just wanted to thank you again for taking care of Taylor and I the other night.” You chimed in with an appreciative look to John, your tone sweeter than honey with a smile to match. 

“Aw, did you girls go out drinking this week?” Ukluk realized. 

“Yup, on Wednesday night, after I spent all day treating Taylor and her family, we went to Goose’s and John was the bartender and he took such great care of us and made sure that we didn’t get taken advantage of or rufied or harrassed in any way.” You praised and John turned three shades darker with his blush and a guilty smile as Summer and Ukluk as well as Isla and Tonrar all smiled appreciatively at him before Tonrar gave John a big pat on the back from his spot next to him. 

“Good lad.” Tonrar praised. 

“Uh, yeah, you’re welcome.” John thanked you as Nago looked from Noah’s schooled neutral expression and John’s expression and then to the other guys who seemed to nod in understanding as they all wondered if more had happened that night that John wasn’t letting on to anyone else but Noah apparently. That would explain John’s dodgy behavior and Noah’s defensiveness. 

“Wait, so you’re Taylor’s siberian friend?” Alorna realized because that’s what John had told her. 

“Well, kind of, so my brother’s wife and her family are Siberian, Yamalian to be exact and his wife Natasha and her mother Olga are both priestesses of Aura and when Gavin was courting Tasha, the second Olga she met me- she practically adopted me and trained me to be a priestess of Aura too alongside Tasha so I’m in the Rushaka order with Natasha and Olga is the Manta at Sinai Temple. If you look on the priestesses of Aura website I’m listed under Olga’s daughters as a private priestess. Which means I don’t belong to any one particular temple and Olga named me Zahnochka Volchietsa when she met me when I was only 15 and I was baptized at 16 as a priestess under that name. Volchietsa means ‘she-wolf’, and Zahnochka means ‘she will rise again’ and Olga always gives me a ‘blessing bag’ whenever I go anywhere, and this time for this trip, it had all the jewelry and shawls and a ‘blessed reading’ tea ceremony set and things for a proper priestess and Summer encouraged me to ‘let the she wolf out’ and to embrace that heritage so I could help Noah, which I did, I must have blessed at least three dozen of his clients, giving them free tea readings in exchange for guaranteed business with him so he and Sakura wouldn’t just survive but thrive.” You explained. 

“Is there any way we can sweet talk you into doing your priestess thing at the summer festival? Because Sakura has inherited quite a bit of land and the people who would have normally inherited it have been hounding us for her to give it back to them and if you could try to discourage them and find a way to make them knock it off, we’d really appreciate it.” Ukluk requested. 

“I would love to.” You readily agreed and John looked like he was about to explode and ignoring Noah’s warning look and subtle shake of his head as they all dug into the delicious food, everyone thoroughly blown away by how exquisite everything was, all the women murmuring to each other on how they were going to try to coax the recipes out of you later. 

“So is part of ‘taking care of Noah’ fucking over Noah’s competition?” John blurted because the truth of what he saw was eating him alive watching Noah continue to be affectionate with you and it was obvious to him that Noah hadn’t changed his mind.

And with that, everything stopped. 

Everyone froze, most of them mid bite as they looked from you to John then back to you and noticed your kashmir blue blush morphed into an amethyst purple that went from your ears, to your cheeks and to your chest as Noah looked like he was ready to reach across the table and strangle John himself and before either you or Noah could say anything Summer thankfully cut in. 

“So what if she did? Who are any of us to judge her for that? All of us know how snow bears, moose and she wolves protect their den and their cubs, calves and pups with their lives and none of us bat an eye when they take down their prey for food for them, why should we do that for Zara? It’s in her name and she should be proud to bear it. Her ‘den’ was threatened. What mother here at this table wouldn’t do whatever it takes to ensure that our children are safe and cared for and even if that means we have to show our teeth and claws to do it. All of us have had to show our own teeth and claws to defend Sakura from those aiapas who are after her shares. I for one am grateful she had teeth and claws big enough and sharp enough to take them all down and a mind sharp enough to do it in such a clever way and walk away without a scratch, that takes nerves of steel and she obviously forged them in hellfire for them to be so fine and so strong. You can’t fault her for that. Anglos like to think women are soft and innocent and harmless but most importantly defenseless and easy prey but we know better. We don’t disrespect our snow bears or our ice dogs or wolves or moose just because they’re females and we all know better than to mess with cubs or pups or calves and it isn’t any different with us as people. It’s an instinct that drives every mother and I’m grateful hers kicked in so strongly for Sakura’s sake. She didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not offended by it all, I’m very proud of her actually. She took initiative and was moved to action at the right time instead of second guessing herself and missing her opportunity. I can’t think of a better model of a mother for Sakura.” Summer defended you which caused you to smile at her gratefully. 

“Did your tea leaves tell you that Mom?” Alorna spat. 

“Yes they did and so much more, and if you practiced the art yourself you would have seen it too.” Summer returned defiantly. 

“Well if you have any questions about my motives, you can call Taylor yourself.” You challenged John calmly. 

“Alright.” Alorna agreed as she called Taylor and put it on speaker phone as Neena’s family looked questioningly at each other. 

“Hey Ali.” Taylor greeted. 

“Hey, so Noah and Zara got together and started dating but John pointed out how he served you and Zara on Wednesday night and apparently some things went down, can you tell us what happened from your point of view?” Alorna asked. 

“Or better yet, Taylor, you could come and tell them in person, just in case the phone cuts out.” You suggested. 

“Ok, I’ll be there in five.” Taylor agreed as you dug into the food because chances are you were going to leave with Taylor after she put in her two cents. You almost wanted to blame your heart for not trusting your gut on this.  

“She doesn’t need to come,” Noah shook his head no. 

“Yeah she does. Because I doubt I can say anything right now that anyone here will believe or trust. If all of you trust Taylor to tell the truth, let her tell the truth.” You insisted. 

“But I believe you. Isn’t that all that should matter?” Noah gently argued. 

“That is all that matters to me but this is still your family and Neena’s family and everyone here has a common interest in protecting Sakura who is the most vulnerable member of this family and I’m willing to bet a hundred dollars John challenged my ability to mother Sakura when he pulled you aside earlier.” And to see Noah’s eyes drop from yours told you that you were right.

“I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings about motives and intentions and actions.” You answered and no less than four minutes later Taylor was there since she lived right down the street. 

“Hey, you made it, come here, tell them everything that happened Wednesday night, don’t leave out anything.” You invited before you went back to eating while everyone else stopped to listen to Taylor talk.  

“Well after she treated me and my family we went to Shen’s for takeout and Evan and Derek and their crew were there and talking about how they were going to the bar later and Zara asked me which bar and knowing them, it was going to be Goose’s and she asked me if they were attracted to women, I said yes, so she had me take her back home so she could change into the proper ‘catch a man’ attire and you told me while we were curling our hair in the bathroom that your plan was to sabotage them and get them so black out drunk that they would miss flying the next day so Noah could pick up their loads and save the day from the client’s point of view because those losers had the audacity to undercut Noah and put Noah and especially Sakura’s livelihood into jeopardy and you were going to eat them alive for that. So we went and we strutted into that place and every guy in there tried to get in your drawers and even John tried his best to hook up with you.” Taylor began as everyone turned and glared at John, Alorna most of all who looked like she was about to set John on fire where he sat as John got impossibly blushed and avoided everyone’s gazes as he tried to stuff his mouth with food as everyone else looked downright pissed as Nago and Suka and Yakone started to snicker a laugh because that would explain why John looked so guilty. 

“Ha! That’s why you looked guilty as sin when you saw her here and why you were ready to piss your pants when she brought it up that she met you already, you tried to get Noah to dump her before she could expose you. Now this makes sense.” Nago practically sang from his spot before he continued eating as did everyone else as everyone seemed to get over it but they were eager to hear what else had happened. 

“So Zara paid John a hundred dollar bill to give her the lay of the land, confirmed Evan and Derek were the other pilots and she paid you to give her an empty beer glass so she could use that as a “chaser” so she wouldn’t get drunk and she assured me before we left that I was the one who was going to take her home. And so John gave her what she asked for and it was like she turned into Marylin Monroe on the red carpet and every guy in there was drawn to her like a moth to the flame and Derek and Evan were powerless against her charms and her allure and once they started asking her about herself, she told them she was an LMT and she offered to give them Vahva Kun treatments.” Taylor continued. 

“Now, I’m gonna stop you right there, someone google Vahva kun, it’s spelled V-a-h-v-a Kun is K-u-n and then add the words Olen heikko- o-l-e-n, h-e-i-k-k-o and read out loud what the answer is.” You invited. 

“It means ‘strong when I’m weak’ in Finnish, and it’s a discipline of massage therapy used in body building when the therapist disables prime movers so that the synergists have to take over, it causes all muscles involved to bulge and is very popular among bodybuilders before competitions because it enhances aesthetic but disables functionality and strength. First time recipients usually have a sexual response but can not move properly for one to two weeks after while others who regularly receive Vahva Kun only take a few days to recover, it is estimated that 95% of body builders use Vahva Kun and for the last five years all of the top 10 competitors in every competition have used practitioners to enhance their body’s esthetic and swear by it. Practitioners make on average 1 to 5 thousand dollars for a full body Vahva Kun treatment which can only take an hour or two. Only professionals should attempt it and uneducated attempts can risk permanent muscle injury.” Yakone read out loud. 

“Now, go to AMTA and look me up under members from the Great Lakes and cross reference with Vahva Kun. But you’re going to have to use my full legal name since “Zara” is my anglo nickname because my full legal name is too long to fit on a business card and it’s a lot easier to say. It’s Zarasashasabine - Z-a-r-a-s-a-s-h-a-s-a-b-i-n-e Kingsley- K-i-n-g-s-l-e-y. And my licence number is 816-269-937-55.” You spelled out as a lot of them tried to wrap their mouths around saying your full name and got tongue tied. 

“She’s the top result on AMTA, she’s been practicing it for 5 years.” Sedna revealed as she showed them a picture of you on the website and indeed found that as she passed her phone around as Noah realized here had fallen in love with you and hadn’t even known your full name and was a little embarrassed by that. 

“So, back to the story Taylor, what did I tell Evan and Derek and their group about Vahva Kun before I implemented it?” You prompted her. 

“You told them that you practice it on body builders and that it would make their muscles bulge and it feels better than sex with the gods.” Taylor proudly answered. 

“And did I give them the opportunity to turn me down and tell me ‘no thanks’ or did I force it on them?” You prompted her. 

“Nope, you asked and gave all of them the oppertunity to consent, they all had the chance to look it up but they just wanted you to touch them after taking like a hundred pictures of you and all of them gave you clear and conscientious consent to do whatever you wanted to them. And because they were drinking like there was no tomorrow and pushing you to drink just as heavily as they were to lower your guard and your own inhibitions and if it wasn’t for John giving you those empty beer bottles, you would have gotten black out drunk with them. But you didn’t, you stayed in control the whole time while they lost most of their self control. You barely got tipsy and you did screw them over without dropping your panties an inch and no one would have been any wiser for it and you stayed above everyone’s suspicion, Evan and Derrek and their group most of all because they have a habit of finding and taking advantage of easy prey.  You made it seem like you were just another woman on vacation enjoying a night on the town and trying out your massage tricks on them and you tried your best to cover your tracks and make sure that your behavior and Noah’s reputation would never meet let alone ever get connected. And on the way out you gave John another hundred dollar bill for helping you stay sober before you had me take you home and on the way there you told me all about it and the science behind why and how it worked before you told me that the inventor of the discipline was originally a prostitute who had gotten the crap beaten out of her when her clients recovered and you risked getting the crap beaten out of you from them and it’s been a good thing you’ve been with Noah ever since because he can protect you, and he should considering you did it all for him and Sakura.” Taylor defended. 

“That’s where you got the two one hundred dollar bills in your wallet, and why you wouldn't tell me where you got ‘em from and why you didn’t fight me when I told you what I wanted to spend them on, because you got ‘em from her!” Alorna accused John angrily because she was still livid that her husband had tried to be unfaithful and then had lied and kept it from her as Noah looked like he was well passed strangling John, he was mentally already beating him to death by the death glare he gave him across the table. 

“Well that’s Noah’s choice if he wants to, he doesn’t have to.” You answered Taylor as you couldn’t bring yourself to look at Noah before you set your silverware down and addressed everyone else. 

“Now what I want to assure you guys is I gave Evan and Derek and their crew exactly what they asked for and what they agreed to and I had their informed consent to do it and I executed that technique flawlessly and yes I had to get a little flirty to get that physically close to them to begin with but I did not do them any lasting harm. Yeah, they’re going to be sore for a week or two but when they recover, they’re going to look better than they ever have and practically drown in pussy when they get cleaned up and emerge from their apartment, which is all they really wanted anyway. Cause they’re young, single and stupid and for them it’s about getting laid and having fun rather than making money or taking care of themselves. It’s not a big deal to them to lose loads and customers because they’re again- young and stupid and chances are they have parents that help them out and pay most of their bills anyway. They’re not going to be without food, clothing or shelter. But Noah on the other hand, he can’t lower his prices down any more or else he’ll lose money and when he loses money, his bills can’t get paid and he’ll go hungry to make sure that Sakura doesn’t and he has pride which means none of you would have ever known about it because he never would have said anything to anyone, would you.” You turned your head slightly in Noah’s direction but wouldn’t look at him directly as he nodded in confirmation because you called that one right too. 

“And I could write a check for a hundred thousand dollars right now and try to give it to him and you know he probably wouldn’t take it. Would you?” You questioned him as Noah shook his head no. 

“Are you going to charge me a fair price to fly me back to cruise ship if you’re gonna fly me at all?” You asked. 

“No I was going to fly you down and I still will if you want me to because from where I sit none of this changes anything between you and me and I wasn’t going to charge you at all because I swore to your children that I wouldn’t take another penny from you and I’m a man of my word.” Noah insisted as he looked to everyone else, daring them to stop him or argue with him. 

“I know Noah, I know you’re a man of your word because my first husband was too. And you both have pride and having been married to a man before who would rather suffer in silence rather than say anything. I recognized that and I knew I had to get around it and I would rather Noah think it was just a ‘coincidence’ or that I got drunk in bar and let a table full of men try their best to take advantage of me or that I was a man eater or whatever else he could possibly think of it me if it meant that he would be ok and Sakura would be ok because I couldn’t risk him rejecting my help. Not when so much was on the line.” You insisted before you took a deep cleansing breath. 

“Big talk when your son is fruitcake.” Alorna spat. 

“Excuse me?” Noah barked before you started laughing. 

“Wow, someone did thier research before coming to dinner, is that why you were so late? Doing some googling did you?” You taunted her. 

“No, we were late cause John didn’t want to leave work, hoping you would come back in but obviously that didn’t happen. But yes, I did do some research on you because I wanted to know what Noah was getting into. I knew your name was Zarasashasabine Vivilana Zahnochka Volchietsa Wainright Kingsley. You were married to Andrew Kingsley, one of the ugliest orcs I’ve ever seen in my life, but I’m guessing he had a great personality, and obviously deep pockets, with parents who had even deeper ones. Andy died at work two years ago which is a shame you’ve had to live without his income of a hundred grand a year but you probably got what? Half a mill, maybe a whole million in life insurance money? And you built a mansion with it. And since then, your son Xander got into snakes and ballet of all things, let me guess, his daddy kept him pretty tightly in the closet when he was alive but since Andrew died, he sure did come out in style didn’t he? Now he dances in tutus and point shoes and has a hobby that costs more than Noah can make in a year. I’m just praying Noah beats the homo out of him before it’s too late and get’s him to straighten up and fly right before he’s a complete lost cause. And I’ll bet you everything you have that Andrew would be rolling in his grave if he found out how his son was living. The only positive is your daughter is now in martial arts. So you have a fifty percent sucess rate at raising children. At least Sakura might grow up to only be half as fucked up without Neena. But too bad that’s still a failing grade.” Alorna taunted defiantly. 

“Alorna, what did I tell you before you came? If you couldn’t be nice, you weren’t welcome, get the hell out of this house.” Summer challenged. 

“No, don’t leave just yet, she was just now showing me her true colors, I think how she’s sexualizing a child is disturbing because he’s only ten. And my daughter is only 8. How you can judge them based on their tastes as children think that that’s what will define them as adults is...frankly pathetic. And it’s really hypocritical that you accused me of Anglo when you’re the one with the super Anglo points of view. Because my children, even though they’ve been through hell and lost a parent and lost their adopted grandparents who they were closer to than their actual grandparents and had to be in the public eye since they were 8 and 6 and already get scruitinized and judged based on looks and circumstances that they had no control over is upsetting, but typical, I’m used to it and sadly, so are they. That’s why we’re so fiercely protective of our privacy. But in all your “research” the way your tone and your choice of wording tells me that you didn’t find the biggest piece of the puzzle.” You returned calmly. 

“Which is what?” Alorna spat. 

“Google it. Google my full name and then add Andy’s work place which was Nullensill Semiconductor and see what comes up. I dare you. But know that from this moment on, you and I will never be friends, never be close and you and your family will never benefit from me and know that once my children do come up here, you will stay the fuck away from them and you will have no contact with them because I don’t trust you not to lash out at them and try to hurt them.” You determined. 

“Alorna, for the love of the gods you and John need to just leave, Johnny Jr. and Gabby are always welcome but you no longer are.” Ukluk snarled. 

“I can’t believe you! You’re taking a stranger’s side over your own daughter?!” Alorna shrieked before John reached out and grabbed Alorna’s arm harshly as he stared at his phone’s screen with wide eyes and sharply inhaled through his nose. 

“Just shut up you petty, jealous bitch! You need apologize to Zara for offending her right now! Zara, I am so sorry I tried to have sex with you, that was inappropriate and I’m so sorry, and you know what? Just take all the crab that’s left and take it home with you, our gift to you. And you know what, you are doing such a good job raising your kids all on their own and I know Noah will take care of them like he has taken care of Sakura.” John tried to appease but you just shook your head at him. Suck up as Alorna was about to rip him a new one before he shoved his phone in her face which got her to freeze and her jaw to drop before she looked from the phone to you. 

“And I take back everything I’ve said before this point, I’m sorry, I was just concerned, I didn’t want to see Noah get hurt and obviously there’s no safer place for them to be than with you.” John tried to excuse. 

“You weren’t concerned when you tried to fuck her Wednesday.” Alorna spat as she continued to read the article. 

“Because she looked like this at the time! I’m a hot blooded guy, I never said I was perfect.” John excused as he brought up the pictures he had taken of you on Wednesday as the other guys were curious enough to get up go around the table to where John was to look at the pictures, making their wives narrow their eyes before all the guys dropped their jaws at the pictures. 

“Damn!” Suka and Dave jeered. 

“And that didn’t stop you from kissing her on Wednesday either.” Taylor added as all the women gasped as Nago and the other guys started laughing because there hasn’t been this much drama in the family in forever as some of the wives started snickering too. 

“Only her hand! I only kissed her hand!” John quickly defended himself. 

“Only because you couldn’t lean over the bar any further and kiss her on the lips, not that she would have let you do even that much to her.” Taylor taunted John. 

“And as I recall, you were the only one who I let do even that much.” You added just a little smugly before Alorna finally read what John just did before she gasped in outrage. 

“You’re the one who should have brought the crab! And you should have brought prime rib roasts too with a quarter of a billion dollars!” She practically shrieked angrily as she threw her husband’s phone at your head but Noah caught it and crushed it in his palm.  

“That’s it! Alorna and John, leave!” Ukluk boomed angrily.  

“Yup, on it.” John got up and picked up his angry screaming wife and kicking wife out of her chair and promptly left the house with her over his shoulder. 

“Do we have to go too?” John Jr. asked. 

“No, you guys should stay, you didn’t do anything wrong. Your parents will need some time and space.” Summer warmly assured them as she picked up her plate and came around to eat with them. 

“Well, I hate to tear apart another family. So, I’ll leave it up to all of you. You can put it to a vote if you want to,  if you don’t think I’m good enough to be here and share the same space with you or to help Noah and Sakura that’s fine, you’re all entitled to your opinions. Now, what I’m going to do is thank you Summer and Ukluk and Isla and Tonror for your hospitality and warm welcome and Sakura, Baby, do me a favor and remember that everyone at this table loves you very, very much and they only want the best for you. Let them talk about this so they can come to their own conclusions about me. Ok? I’m gonna go home with Taylor. And if you and your Daddy decide that I should continue to be in your life and if you still want to be in mine, you know where to find me. If not, just gather my stuff that I’ve left at your house and drop it off at Taylor’s house. But I need to get out of here so everyone can talk about me freely.” You told her as you hugged her and kissed the top of her head as a few tears escaped your eyes. 

“No! I don’t want you to go, you’re not leaving without me Mama!” Sakura started crying as she got up and clung to you and tried to force you to sit back down as you tried to back away from the table. 

“Baby, I don’t want to leave you either but right now, it has to be this way ok?” You tried to counter as you started to cry too because seeing Sakura cry cut you to your very bones. 

“No, you can’t leave, not without me,” Sakura tried to argue as she practically glued herself to your leg and wrapped herself tightly around it and clung to it for dear life. 

“It’s not like you’ll never see me again Sweetie, I agreed to go to the summer festival and intervene on your behalf as a priestess of Aura and I’ll do that if everyone else still wants me to. It’s only two days away, the day after tomorrow.” You tried to remind her as you steadied yourself on the back of the chair and lean over to talk to her.  

“Zara, no, don’t go.” Noah pleaded and the poor man was in tears himself as was most of them around the table as he got up and tried to gently guide you back to the table because he felt like if you walked out of there, he was gonna lose you forever and die right then and there. He didn’t care if his whole family turned on you. He was ready to cut them all off for you. He made the concious decision to choose you over all of them. 

“Zara, please don’t go anywhere, you’re part of this family, and anyone who doesn’t want you to be in this family can leave the house now and take whatever food they brought with them and take their place in it with them too like Alorna and John just did.” Ukluk pleaded as he joined his son in trying to guide you back to the table because seeing how much his granddaughter loved you and her distress at being parted from you was breaking his heart and he wasn’t going to let this circumstance detract from you or your place in this family. 

“Agreed,” everyone else mirrored in agreement as you finally gave in and sat back down only to have Sakura climb into your lap and practically hold you to the chair itself so you couldn’t get away as you cuddled and coddled her and dried her tears as Noah just smiled gratefully and adoringly at you and rubbed on your back before he tightened his hold on you from beside you since once you sat back down, he put his chair right next to yours and promptly wrapped his arm around your shoulder. Because you weren’t going anywhere, your place was beside him. And he wanted to thank you in every way for doing even half as much and even though at first blush he wasn’t completely comfortable with your method, the more he thought about it and knowing why you did it had him readily forgiving you and in fact it endeared you to him even more and meant so much to him and he could understand why you felt you needed or wanted to do what you did. And why you would have kept this to yourself even though you had told him about it in a way, little hints here and there when you explained who Zahnochka was and what she was capable of. He just didn’t put two and two together.  But now he felt like he put it together and he was even more in love with you now than he was this morning. You were a badass and he loved that about you before Taylor seemed appeased that you were where you should be and simply grabbed a plate and then went home. 

“So how much of that did you get to keep?” Suka chanced before everyone else glared at him. 

“I was just curious.” Suka defended. 

“A very small portion, a very tiny fraction really, his company took the vast majority of it and what was left was split between myself and the five other widows and widowers who’s mates were involved and died in the accident, most of them took the one lump sum pay out of 25 million which the government took half that so they’re left with 12 and a half million and the three of them barely have a million left two years later, and the other two and myself were smart and took the full payout but over the next fifty years. So I only get a check for 250,000 to live off of and the government only gets 15% instead of fifty percent.” You waived off. 

“Oh,” Suka nodded in understanding. 

“Which is still about double what my husband made a year so I shovel whatever we don’t use just on day to day expenses into savings accounts and retirement accounts and college funds and investments just like everything else I inherited from my grandparents. But at least my house is paid off, so I don’t pay a mortgage which is really nice. Those stinkin credit cards though, they’re just too easy to use. Death by a thousand cuts those things.” You revealed. 

“Oh you’re preachin to choir on that one.” Merideth answered. 

“Oh and don’t feel bad about Alorna leaving, she’s been a hypocritical bitch since day one, anyone who isn’t native- she hates and honestly now that she’s gone, we can finally all relax and enjoy the evening.” Sesi reassured you from her spot next on the other side of Sakura as you looked around to everyone else who were subtly and not so subtly nodding in agreement. 

“Nothing shows your true colors quite like money.” Noah grumbled as he cut into his moose with the caramalized onions. 

“I swear I thought I did better raising her.” Summer just shook her head. 

“Me too.” Ukluk chuckled as he did the same. 

“So what we’re saying, don’t worry about it, don’t let Alorna’s bark scare you off, the gods will make sure she gets what’s coming to her. And if you do end up coming here and staying here only a few months out of the year, don’t ever treat her or have anything to do with her or John.” Tonrar encouraged you. 

“Yeah but if she starts running her mouth and telling everyone that I have a quarter of a billion dollars, there’s going to be another manhunt for me like there was a year and a half ago.” You muttered. 

“You told us that you only get two hundred and fifty thousand dollars, so that’s how much you got, period and as far as I’m concerned and all I need to know and all I will ever assume is that was a one time payout, and don’t you dare go and correct me, which means you’re no richer than anyone else at this table, it’s easy to say Andy’s company took it all and you said as much and we have no reason to doubt you and anything more is your own business and should stay your own business. They don’t need to know about settlements or any other details. All of our voices together will drown her one voice out or even her’s and John’s or even hers, John’s and Doug’s. So don’t worry about it, as far as I’m concerned, you’re still just the oldest daughter of my best friend in the airforce. So practically family. And I already vouched for Noah to your dad who agreed to vouch for Noah to your kids so your kids will have someone they trust introduce Noah to them which is what they need and I don’t care about what your kids are into, they’re kids, they deserve to be happy and carefree and if they’re happy doing what they’re doing, that is all that matters. Especially to everyone here at this table.” Ukluk reassured you. 

“Thank you. The reason I didn’t take Alorna’s words seriously is because ballet saved Xander’s life. After Andy died, he shut down completely and he just...imploded. He wouldn’t necessarily cry and sob, but he wouldn’t laugh or smile or hang out with his friends or talk beyond one or two words. All he did was eat and sleep and spend what little time he was awake in a near catatonic state. Ballet brought him back, and taught him it was ok to be expressive. Skylar on the other hand, she was on the opposite side of the spectrum and so explosive. She was getting into fights every day, she nearly went to juvy and she got so aggressive and combative. So it’s the martial arts that saved her, taught her self control and to tame all the chaos she felt and still feels. And of course therapy, lots and lots of therapy.” You revealed. 

“Aww, the poor dear. I can’t wait to meet them both.” Isla assured you. 

[chappedandfadedvds]

Nov 30th, Monday 19:12

Jens was nervous.

They had booked the train tickets to Utrecht this afternoon. And that meant that Jens would not only get to see the city his boyfriend came from, but also meet all of his friends for the first time. People he only had heard about in stories and seen through the few posts and chat messages on instagram, that Jens had been shown by Lucas here and there.

He hoped he would fit in, make a good enough impression on friday. Especially with Isa, the girl who was one óf his best friends and was going to pick them up, as well as let them stay over at her place. Lucas was already so very excited to go, talking about little else since saturday.

The fact that they had to bring Lotte, didn’t seem to bother his boyfriend at all. Which Jens was really grateful for. He had hoped that Lars would be able to take his little sister for the weekend, but unfortunately he could have only watched her on sunday. So his sister would come with. It probably would be fun for Lotte as well and with the 5th happening on saturday, Jens was actually happy to have her there too. He had bought her some special set of coloured pancils that Sander used and he knew she wanted so badly too. They were only the base six colours, because holy shit were art supplies apparently expensive. How the hell did Sander afford this? Parents for sure.

Lucas also had planned to come out to his friends, the second he would set a foot in the city, which would mean that they could just enjoy their first trip together as a couple. And wasn’t that the best thing to look forward to?

Considering all, it was a good nervous feeling. More equaling excitement.

Jens smiled as he sat at the table, watching his boyfriend sway in rythym to some song, that Jens would assume was soul, it resembled the style of one or two songs of Lucas’s playlist for him last week. Lucas was swining to the music instinctive, while washing the pots and pans in the sink they had used for dinner. Lotte was upstairs watching something on her switch, simply leaving the boys to clean up on their own.

Lucas had put on a playlist before he had started. A playlist he had created the second after they finished Queens Gambit yesterday So of course it included an unfathomable amount of songs from the 60s and 70s, and his boyfirend was living for it. Right up his ally, as he already had vibed to every single one of those included in the soundtrack while watching.

His head was bobbing up and down, his foot tapping on beat with the drums, as he moved his shoulders and hips from left to right. He was definitely dancing as he rinsed of the soap from a pan and placed it on a kitchen towl to dry next to him. If Jens listened closely, he could even hear his boyfirend very faintly sing along.

Was it even possible to fall any harder in love then he already had at this point?

Apparently, as Jens felt his heart could explode at the sheer sight of Lucas enjoying himself.

Who obviously had to spin around just that moment to greet Jens with an overly charming, yet gleeful grin on his lips, as the playlist jumped to the next song.

One that Jens knew, and he already hated it, as much as he loved it.

„You are the worst. I hate you.“

„You fell for me the second I stepped in your life. This song is you, so much. “

Of course it wasn’t. Jens didn’t really believe at love in first sight. Never had. Not with Britt, nor with Jana. Attraction. yes. Love, no.

„It’s not. I didn’t even know you, I just thought you were hot.“ Jens therefore stated smirking. He had told Lucas about his exact thoughts he had had that morning on the school’s courtyard. How mesmerised he had been by Lucas’s blue eyes. How he had waited impatiently the next day for the lunch break to see him, his now boyfriend, again. A bit cringy perhaps, but hey, it worked out perfectly well in the end.

„Same thing.“ 

Lucas shrugged, snapping his fingers to the beat, while laughing at Jens snorting. The older boy only shook his head way too happy on a monday evening. His silly boyfriend, before just faintly whispering under his breath, now full on singing along as the chorus hit. Thank god no one was around to see Jens look at Lucas. The adoration he felt was definitely embarresing and definitely showing on his face.

„Not a trace of doubt in my mind

I'm in love, I'm a believer!

I couldn't leave her if I tried.“

Lucas wasn’t a great singer, that was for sure. At least he hit most of the notes. But damn, did this boy have the energy and passion for it, as he gestured for Jens to come over and join, absolutely delighted, carried away by the music alone.

Jens would strongly blame the lack of actual parties in the last month, as he found himself getting up from the chair and actually moving over. He started to sway slowly to find the beat and rythym his boyfriend was somewhat dancing to.

The last dirty pot was forgotten in the sink behind the two boys. Who only had eyes for each other in that moment, busy to get the words right, between giggles and catching breathes. Jens took hold of his boyfriend’s hand, to pull him closer and spin around on his feet, catching him with a stolen kiss, before he pushed him back gently. Only to do it all over again. __ __ __ tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots So, in our house we sing and dance a lot. I always put music on to clean and cook, so do my sister and her husband. I love these moments the most, when all of us stand in the kitchen for our private, spontaneous karaoke sessions. I had to include it in a clip. Probably gonna do it again. Oh well. Hope you are having fun right now too. Out on some music and sway along.

[tk9336]

My Curatorial Internship at MSI Part 2

In a very bittersweet conclusion, I finished my internship this past Thursday. It culminated in a visit Friday, August 6th with my family and friends getting a VIP tour of the Museum of Science and Industry, Chicago. My younger brother and his Australian co-worker flew in from D.C. and we picked them up from O’Hare on the way to MSI. We met with Director Kathleen McCarthy first thing after getting and to my utter disbelief got us onboard U-505 as a thank you for all my help this summer. She then let me run the tour onboard a German U-Boat... I am still feeling beyond honored for a privilege like that. She then let me give the tour of Collections and it really brought my short time with MSI full circle. I was asked to continue working on a project regarding a “Reichkriegsflagge” flag someone emailed us that they believe is linked to U-505. So as you can imagine I am thrilled... I broke down the history we have on the flags MSI has in storage and on exhibit. I emailed no fewer than four separate institutions; the German Maritime Museum, the US Naval Academy Museum (who has U-505′s actual War flag it was flying when captured in 1944), the Smithsonian, and to Keith Gill who was the chief Curator of U-505 when it was restored and interred in it’s final resting place within the 37 million dollar McCormick Foundation Exhibit.

What will follow is Weeks 7 - 9:

Week 7: 7/19-22/2021

Monday: I was not feeling well and decided to email Voula at 8AM as I got back home from the train station. I am glad I made this decision because I had a stomach that was in knots and there was plenty of material to work on from home. I worked on the U-505 artifacts list.

Tuesday: I came into the office and had my normal weekly meeting with Voula at 10 AM. We discussed the past week and the week ahead. Fortuitously since I had finished the massive transcription I was available to help on a more pressing issue that came up. The U.S. Navy was coming to give inert certificates and certify any munitions we had that still needed them. This was great because it was an opportunity to work with the Registrar Deanna, and do registration/collections management work. I got half way through the huge U.S. Navy loan files. I will continue next week in office, as tomorrow I am not working but will be on location.

Wednesday: I am not working Wednesday, as I am taking a long time friend and his family from my organization, the 501st Legion downtown. I will hopefully get to show them what I do in Collections; my office, the staff who are in my department and a brief walk through storage. I can't wait to see their faces... they have been following the posts I have been making to share my excitement of this incredible opportunity. The visit went well, and the parents Neil and Andrea are big World's Fair fans (both Colombian Exposition and 1933 Century of Progress.) They were former patron members of MSI before COVID.

Thursday: Working from home I was tasked with making a list of the artifacts on exhibition from the transcription of the U505 exhibit. So taking out the artifacts and making it into a separate word doc that I am sure helps the team when needing quick reference to what is on the floor.

Saturday: I continued the work from the U505 artifacts list and now am porting it to a excel workbook which seems to be the preferred file extension used by Kathleen and Voula (and perhaps Collections in general). Not strenuous academic work (since I already did that) but a lot busy work plugging, copying, pasting, etc.

Week 8: 7/26-29/2021

Monday: I came into the office today and resumed my work on going through the large U.S. Navy loan folders Deanna gave me in a effort to find relevant materials on the German, and American torpedoes as well as a Soviet Cruise Guided Missile, the "STYX." I gathered all my materials and presented them to her, and she looked through and helped me reduce the gathered documents for the most relevant to inertion. I found an actual donation file for the STYX to MSI from the Navy... not everyday you find a piece of paper saying this million dollar, surface to ship missile from the Cold War. This took me to the end of the day.

Tuesday: I came into the office and had my weekly meeting with Voula. This would be our last in person meeting as she is going to Greece with her family this Friday. I made sure to really emphasize how much this opportunity meant to me and that I was going to go the extra mile to wrap up all my projects and try to be as much use to MSI as possible. I had finishing helping Deanna yesterday with the inert reference materials to help her with the U.S. Navy guys coming in next Monday.

Wednesday: I worked from home since I have no shortage of stuff to work on. Voula tasked me with writing labels for the Fire Fighting artifacts I that I made a long project of at the beginning of the internship. Since I created all that in a long, well organized word doc, I can then, like a professional curator, work from my research to create 1-2 sentence labels for each item. I will take that and then input it into a excel workbook which seems to be the preferred file extension for reference purposes.

Thursday: We had another MSI Zoom round-table, and this time we how to brand, and what branding means professionally speaking, and to Museums like MSI specifically. Thankfully being Zoom was able to attend while working from home, which is an absolute godsend (in regards to not having to commute to Chicago, from Wauconda, IL... not that I don't like being at MSI- the commute is long.) I continued buttoning up and polishing all that I worked on so far. This isn't the normal college assignment where I don't re-read it once and make quick improvements (being honest here!) I re-read them about 3 times each, as I am very proud of what little I can contribute to MSI.

Week 9: 8/2-5/2021

Monday: I worked from home buttoning up and polishing all my work for MSI that I've done this summer in addition to finishing the label writing for the Fire Fighting artifacts list. I will port that into a Excel workbook like the U505 artifacts list, just to be consistent (as providing a word doc copy as well.) Long day in front of the computer... I worked roughly 10 hours. I just really want to leave a good, and lasting impression on MSI as a show of the supreme gratitude I have for them and this opportunity.

Tuesday: Today I came in feeling a little bit disappointed it is my last week, and endevour to take as much advantage of it as possible. With my Zoom meeting with Voula (who is in Greece right now) we discussed any last questions I had, and she wanted to say that she will be available as a reference and contact for me going forward which means the world over. Today is my day to talk, and work with the Registrar Deanna. She let me know my work on the Russian Cruise missile STYX was very helpful to the gentlemen from Navy doing the inert certifications. That felt really good. Kathleen also forwarded me a project involving one of the flags of U505! The very SAME one I took a photo with learning how to handle textile artifacts. I am over the moon, call it fate that I sought that flag out earlier. (As a former Combat Arms 11Bravo serviceman, holding the captured colors of an enemy combatant captured in combat is nothing short of incredible. So much so the words escape me. A significant emotional experience for me, personally.) We handled the additional two flags, both of which are the correct dimensions for being a port flag, meaning it was flown in dock, and around friendly waters when not on patrol. We handled both, and I took photos showing the measuring tape next to the artifacts to certify these are what they appear to be, the real McCoy. I will follow up with the author of a book about Hans Goebeler, one of the U505 sailors and find out more about this additional Reichskreigflagge he signed! To be entrusted to do this by Kathleen is very empowering. To help Deanna she had me scan all the Black Creativity Juried Art files from 2020 from artists. These were receipts of artwork we kept, or returned. The scanner allows you save files in it that are available to the department computers via wifi. If she has to pull a receipt on a artwork it is catalogued. Not the most exciting work, but work that needs doing. Glad I got to get a flavor of what it entails to be the registrar and put on a different hat, albeit a simple busy-work one for me to get a grasp at how her work differs from the curators.

Wednesday: I had to work from home this day because of issues with my car. Normally not an issue with the battery but with my dad being out of town for work I didn't have a back up vehicle. I still had plenty to work on to finish up.

Thursday: This is my last scheduled work day for the Curatorial internship at MSI. It is completely bittersweet, bitter that it is over, and sweet in the way that I have all these contacts and incredible experiences under my belt. I have a tour scheduled with Mike Welsh whose in charge of facilities, buildings and grounds. Additionally we will have the opportunity to do a in person round table with Chevy Humphrey, President and CEO of MSI. The day began with a little party/meeting hosted by Kathleen for the new assistant curator, registrar and preparator to help with the projects being undertaken by each position. We also celebrated my last day which was very nice. I got to help unpack a 3D photo studio that was massive, and will be a big help photographing these artifacts for cataloguing and being put online. The meeting with Chevy went well if a little underwhelming because I was the only one asking questions! But, hard to pass up a mostly 1:1 dialogue with the CEO and President of MSI. I came back to collections in which Kathleen presented me some gifts from MSI in appreciation of my help for the summer. What a grand and wonderful experience.

Friday: I took my Family, family friends Mike and Kathy, as well as my visiting younger brother the Assistant director of marketing and communications for Atlas Network in DC with his Australian co-worker Vale to see MSI from top to bottom. It began with Kathleen getting us ONBOARD U-505 and let me give the tour. I had never been so honored, and not to mention the onboard for the sub is temporarily closed for COVID. This meant the world, and it was so very cool to share this with my family. It's one thing to talk about a German U-Boat... it's another to be inside a REAL one. She then took us to Collections and again let me give the tour in Storage and was very generous with her time. I then took them to the Henry Crown Space Center, then into the Smart Home Park to grab a drink. I took them to the Science of Storms exhibit and then used the special staff elevator to speedily get me back to Collections to use my work laptop to do the final meeting with Studio Institute. I had to leave the meeting right near the end because we needed to get home and take care of our 14 year old dog Ziggy, and equally old visiting Griffin. It was great to share my presentation with the rest of the Chicago/Memphis interns. This was the first time Chicago was included on the program and I believe the stars aligned to put where I am today, and what I got to do this summer. Thank you. I will try to make an album on Tumblr of images of my internship this summer and I took them with a storyteller’s eye. It’s a pretty cool linear progression of what I found over the course of the internship!

[dragonsateyourtoast]

Special thanks to @skylarklanding for a donation to the Emergency Release Fund!

By the way, head on over to that blog to get a taste of some of Skylark’s art; similar to what I’m doing, you can show a donation and receive a custom art as thank-you!

Original post of mine

Prompt, courtesy of @writing-prompt-s: “It is impossible to erase a curse, but it is possible to trade it with someone else. You’ve been wandering for years, searching for someone willing to trade curses with you, but never suspected it would happen like this.” 

-

Not many people are unlucky enough to get hit with a real curse. A true curse, a curse that writes itself into your bones and blood, not some surface-level scuff on your soul. Those happen all the time; little things like a higher likelihood to stub your toe, or a few extra minutes of searching when you’ve lost your keys.

To be cursed with a true curse is different. It’s something that you feel in your lungs when it hits you, which screams like static in your mind when it activates. It lies dormant like a disease, letting you forget it exists occasionally, until the time comes for it to rear its ugly head and it spits venom into your life once again.

You can’t get rid of a real curse. The little ones? You can polish them away, or pay a witch to get rid of them, or whatever. But the real ones... those are powered by something greater than just a little bit of malice. Those ones aren’t just throwaway statements of “I hope you always forget about your tea” or little sigils drawn on paper and burned to ash. These ones are borne of blood.

I used to sing at a church. I’ve long since abandoned the church, after they told me I was evil for a good number of things, including my curse. I didn’t even think it was that bad, at first.

When I speak, things come to me. Animals, mostly. Sometimes it’s plants. Insects and spiders and stuff are the biggest problem. Birds are the next worst. No matter what I do, if I utter a single syllable, I am swarmed in an instant with everything alive around me except other people. I laughed on a lakeshore once - the fish died when we were trying to shove them back into the water. I sighed too loudly once, on a wet night; I’d never seen so many worms.

There are online boards for people who want to swap curses. I know you can do it - curses don’t like to be destroyed, but they love to hop around. They’re kind of sentient; they like to see new things. Sometimes, if you don’t give them what they want, they’ll evolve, force you to carry them harder. Mine is pretty dormant; I never speak, but it doesn’t cause problems. It can feel my misery.

I’m not going to get into what got me cursed in the first place. It was an accident, and it wasn’t even my fault, and I’m marked forever in more ways than one.

July, 2014. I sat in my room, reading a book. I don’t remember what it was. One of my friends messaged me, asking about a movie that was coming out, and while I was checking movie times I saw someone had pinged me in the curse boards.

Curious, I visited. I’ve had this curse for twelve years, mind you, and never been able to find anyone willing to switch me. It’s just too inconvenient.

But, there in the board, was a message in a five year old thread I’d made. It read:

“Hi! I saw your notice. I’m a wildlife biologist in Arkansas. I’m cursed too, and I think that you would be the perfect person to switch curses with, if you’re willing. It seems like you’re an active member of the forums, but it’s been a while; do you still have the same curse you did before? I’d really like to swap you for it, if that’s still possible.”

What? I stared at it, uncomprehending, until I finally messaged her directly through the site. “Thanks for your interest,” I told her. “What curse do you have, so I can know what I might be getting into?”

“Nothing too terrible,” she wrote back. “When I speak, whatever I say comes out in a different language. I never know which language it’s going to be, either, and if I stop speaking or take a breath, well, it switches. It’s really a nuisance if I’m trying to communicate with people! Yours seems to be that you can’t make any sound at all; being able to laugh or speak without consequences would be an improvement for you, right?”

“It would,” I wrote back. “And it would mean you have a lot less freedom in what you can say. Why do you want my curse?”

“I can’t explain it,” she said, “I guess I’ll have to tell you if it works.”

We agreed to meet up about six hours from where I lived, at the halfway point between our houses. I wasn’t working at the time - it’s difficult to hold a job when you can’t speak or your building suddenly reveals how many rats are in it - so I gathered what I needed and left the next morning.

Six hours. I had six hours while driving to wonder why she would choose to make her life worse, by preventing herself from even laughing. I couldn’t fathom why. Did she want every living thing to swarm her at all times? I say swarm - I mean it. Just because the curse brought the animals to me didn’t make them friendly. I’d been bitten, stung, pecked, and scratched more times than I could count.

Whatever. It probably wasn’t my place to ask. I hadn’t asked her how she had gotten cursed, she hadn’t asked me, and I wasn’t going to ask her what she wanted it for if she wasn’t willing to tell me.

I pulled into the designated place - a restaurant on a tiny little highway exit in the middle of nowhere. I stood next to my car and waited.

About fifteen minutes after I’d arrived, a car pulled into the parking lot a few spaces away from mine and shut off. A woman got out - probably about thirty, with dark brown hair and brown skin, warm green eyes shining out from her face. She glanced over, saw me, and her face lit up. “Zdravo!” she called, and I knew it was her - that wasn’t a language I recognized. I nodded in response.

She pulled out her phone as she came over, and opened up a notes app. I opened mine too, watching, and she wrote down. “Songbird, right?”

“That’s me,” I wrote back, showing my screen to her. “Got everything we need?”

“Yeah, I visited a witch before I left home; that’s what I did with the rest of yesterday.” She set down a bag that had been slung over her shoulder and pulled out a shiny green box. She opened it, pulling out a length of white silk, and held out a hand. I held out mine, and she grasped my forearm; I took hold of hers.

Together, we wound the white silk around our hands and arms, binding us together, and tied it on the bottom, which is a lot harder than you’d expect. Then she looked me in the eye, still brimming with excitement. “Bist du so weit?” she asked, and then sighed and rolled her eyes. “Är du färdig?”

That still didn’t make sense, but I got the sense she was asking me if I was ready. I nodded sharply.

She began to speak. I didn’t understand it, of course. The language must’ve changed at least four times as she was trying to talk, and I couldn’t get a word of it, though I kind of understood some of what sounded like maybe French. I did catch her name, though: Maria Coombs. She finished, and looked up to me, expectantly.

My turn. This was going to be rough. I opened my mouth, swallowing; I really, really didn’t talk often. “My name’s Sage Lawson. I willingly take on to myself the burden this stranger bears, so that they might carry mine in turn.”

Above, I saw a flock of starlings divert swiftly in its path; a fly bounced off my face. “I give to this person the magic that has plagued me. I take upon myself the magic that has plagued her. Together, we give to each other.”

Nothing seemed to happen, but the starlings fluttered into a nearby tree and began to squawk at each other, ignoring me. I looked warily up at them.

“Is that it, then?” Maria said, and gasped, her eyes going wide. She clamped a hand over her mouth. The birds overhead hopped downwards into the branches surrounding us, eyes black and wary.

I hastily unbound our hands. I was still too nervous to talk. Maria picked up her phone. “Say something!” she tapped out, and showed it to me, grinning.

I rubbed my hands together. “Antoka,” I said, still feeling my voice rasp in my throat, and paused. I’d meant to say “sure,” but my mouth had just... said something else. The feeling was uncomfortable, to say the least. “... أعتقد أنه نجح.”

Maria clapped her hands together. She was beaming, brighter than I’d ever seen anybody smile. I ran my hand over my mouth, shaking my head. I could speak... though I wouldn’t make any sense. Whatever. I could work with this. I could work with this!

“Thank you,” Maria typed back, still beaming. “Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

I didn’t, really, but she was so happy, I couldn’t help but smile and even give a little breath of a laugh. That was more than I could’ve done before.

I handed Maria the silk back. She took it, replacing it in the box, and put it back in her bag. Already, she was humming.

You could hum, I remembered. You just couldn’t open your mouth and speak, or laugh, or sigh too loudly. Humming was the only thing that had saved me from despair after I’d been cursed.

“Maria,” I called, as she walked back over to her car with a bounce in her step, and she turned, eyebrows raised.

“Hmm?” she said, without opening her mouth.

“Ευχαριστούμε,” I said, with a smile.

Maria may not have known the language, but she understood a thank you when she heard one. She beamed at me, waved, and got back into her car.

Three months later, I got a message from Maria, the wildlife biologist living in Arkansas. It was an email that she’d sent after getting my email address from my account on the curse forums, where I’d been busy figuring out how to work with my new curse.

“Thanks,” it read, “for all the help. You have no idea what this means to me.”

Attached were two pictures. One was of her on a canoe, floating through some kind of forested swampy area, and the other was a photograph - in full color and perfect clarity - of an ivory-billed woodpecker.

[corvid-lullaby]

FFxivWrite: Prompt #2 Sway ~ Sway of the Heart

Characters: Nishiki, Kiryu, Kazama, oc Warnings: None Relationships: NiShikiya (Nishiki x Nishiki Y1 aka Shikiya),  Slight/Platonic NishiKiryu (Nishiki x Kiryu) Notes: Primarily based in the past Word Count:    1,346 FFxivWrite2020 Master Post

~~~~~

“Yo, don’t talk shit about my old man, okay?” the koi said in aggravation.

Nishiki groaned while rubbing at between his brows with an index and thumb. He leaned back against the school seat he had claimed for the past season, while letting his feet sit crossed over his desk. A simple, small juice box was dangling by the straw, which he lazily sipped the sweet currant juice from. The young high-schooler was giving his class mate a half-lidded, annoyed look.

“Look. I’m just sayin’ I find it kinda weird. Your birthday was yesterday-”

“Yeah yeah, he just forgot is all. Stop worrying your little head over it, Michi.”

A deep sigh, but from the smaller, dark haired boy. Michi brushed some of his simple, medium length hair behind his ear before moving to sit on the right side’s edge of Nishiki’s desk. With his arms folded on his lap, he turned his head to look at his classmate solemnly. Although, there was a deep undertone of pity in his darker blue eyes.

As for the young koi, he gave an over-animated shrug. The dangling juice box started to rattle and bubble with the last sip, where it would be snatched and haphazardly tossed onto his desk’s surface. Nishiki was obviously becoming aggravated with his friend’s nose prodding around. “Listen. Kazama is a really busy guy. I can’t expect him to keep tabs on all of us like that. It happens every year anyway, and he tries to make up for it-”

“with some small amount of cash he personally tells you to just take out of his wallet,” Michi finished, without bothering to hold back the attitude in his words. He meant well, Nishiki knew, but the subject was something Nishiki preferred to avoid. The nose on the koi’s face wrinkled. He couldn’t help but turn his head to look out the window his desk conveniently was placed against.

The conversation ended as thus. Eventually Michi gave up within the silence between the two, where he returned to his seat before class began again.

Later, the fated koi returned to the orphanage. With how stressful the air was at school, he couldn’t be happier to be back home today. That was said through his large, goofy grin that was plastered onto his face, and how he excitedly tossed off his shoes, and even how he was almost skipping down the hall. Just around the corner, just as he expected, Kiryu was standing in the dining area. He looked exhausted, but that was normal around this time.

“Hey, bro! How’d training go?” Of course Nishiki was happy to see him, even when he was still damp with sweat in his martial arts uniform. He even threw an arm over the other’s shoulders Sure, the koi was a bit popular at school, but none of his friends there held the same close bond he had with his adopted sibling. Kiryu wasn’t only his brother, he was his very best buddy. Someone that he trusts and loves deeply.

The sudden weight thrown over his shoulder caused Kiryu to grunt and his body to shift to support that weight. “Ah! It went about as well as expected I guess? Kazama is pretty ruthless in his training.” The young dragon paused, rubbing at his own chin in thought. “Oh yeah! He wanted to see you whenever. I think he’s in his office?”

“Oh yeah!?” Of course he was excited! His surrogate father often forgot about his birthday, but wanting to see him the very next day was something unheard of. It usually took several days to a week. This soon-ness was very different, and, to Nishiki, a good sign.

Being even more chipper, he went to Kazama’s office. Nishiki wasn’t quick to knock, instead taking a moment to listen if it was even alright to at first. He heard some rummaging, but no mumbles of talking, so he assumed it safe. He knocked, which was quickly followed up by his pa’s rather straight and flat voice, “Come in.” The koi hoped he wasn’t interrupting anything, where the other’s voice raised the suspicion that he had.

Upon entering, Nishiki confirmed that he had. In a way, anyway. Kazama was at his desk with a phone against his ear, which was tucked between face and shoulder. He looked up at the entering Koi, who bowed politely towards him, offered a half-hearted smile, and returned his attention to the papers on his desk. After a moment of scribbling, the back of the pen in his hand jabbed once towards the other end of his desk. There, a single bill sat. Nishiki took it, bowed in thanks again, and left.

After leaving and shutting the door behind himself, the young man stood there. The bill was stretched open. One thousand yen, which was the typical number. Michi’s worrying from earlier today came to memory. Why did he feel compelled to grasp onto some hope that his foster father would have done something a little different this time? He wasn’t sure. He was more concentrated on trying not to think about the more thoughtful gifts and actions his adopted sibling, Kiryu, got instead. Nishiki couldn’t help but let out a deep, shaky sigh.

Mumbling began to be heard from the office behind him.

“Hello? Ah, finally. I was getting ready to give up. Sorry I couldn’t call yesterday. There was business with Kiryu that needed attending to.”

A prick was felt. Yesterday was Nishiki’s birthday. The conversation continued.

“.... Mhmm. It’s about him, of course--No, not Nishiki. He’s never been fit for this sort of thing. Do me a favour and set up an appointment for Kiryu and I, will you?...”

The words started to get foggy. Even the bill in front of Nishiki started to look blurry. He had always been living in willful ignorance and denial, but this was something he was unable to ignore or convince himself otherwise. It was the first time he truly felt a darkness begin to stir in his heart.

With brows furrowed, he made his way back to the dining room. Kiryu was still there, but looking more refreshed and in regular day clothing. Miss matching in style of course. Kiryu was never great at fashion anyway, but seeing it now brought a small grin to Nishiki’s face.

“Oh hey! About time. Did you wanna go out for some ice cream?” Kiryu was always uncanny with his timing on his ability to cheer someone up unintentionally. Nishiki’s grin widened. He couldn’t help but agree. Why wouldn’t he agree to it?

Upon leaving, the koi did pause in the front yard. He turned and looked upwards at a window on the second floor. It was to Kazama’s office, where he could faintly make out the man still diligently working at his desk. That strange and alien tinge of something horrible returned to his chest. Trying to ignore it, he turned and went scampering after Kiryu.

‘I told you to stop fucking digging in there, man. It isn’t healthy.’

A few blinks and reality returned to him, thanks to that comforting voice at the back of his mind. Within his vision was an all too familiar grave.

‘Yo you’re even going white knuckled there. Cut it out and leave it already. Neither of us needs that sort of shit anymore.’

“Hm. I suppose you’re right, Nishiki,” the ex-patriarch replied with a faint hint of emotional exhaustion. Shikiya’s gaze lowered to a mixed bouquet of sunflowers and miscellaneous white flowers. Having split personalities did have its conveniences. In this case, one protecting the other, although it was more for the sake of both of them. Turning away from Kazama’s grave, Shiki took the bouquet with him. He had the intention of leaving them, but decided otherwise.

‘Hey, I think you forgot something,’ Nishiki quickly pointed out.

“Did I? I thought they would be happier in a vase at home. They’er more suited to be with you, and I have a feeling they would be happier that way, too.”