#me. making the best joke of my life. pointing at myself as i speak: nature vs nurture babeyyyyy

[two-white-butterflies]

monopoly go | mv33 | part two

Description: A stranger keeps striking your monopoly go base. You search him on Facebook and decide to settle your losses.

part one |

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yourname_awesome: might need myself a london boy 🇬🇧

liked by 23,283 others

>comments

maxverstappen1: pretty

maxverstappen1: the background is so pretty - yourname_awesome: list of all the poeple that asked. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. - - maxverstappen1: talk to me when you can spell people properly - - - yourname_awesome: talk to me when you can spell noodle properly 🥱

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EMILLIAN ATTACKED YOUR LANDMARK.

EMILLIAN STOLE 20M IN A MEGAHEIST.

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yourname_awesome: decided to square up with this 🤬 after he attacked my landmark. what's thatp icture? oh, that's meant for lewis hamilton...he just wrote his name on the top.

liked by danielricciardo and 67,392 others

>comments

maxverstappen1: ??? Post my pics when you can spell properly - yourname_awesome: comment on my posts when u aren't stealing from my base anymore - - maxverstappen1: Won't be commenting for the foreseeable future - - - yourname_awesome: Simply Lovely!

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humpyfumpy: SOMETHING IS SUSPICIOUS BETWEEN MAX AND THE GIRL HE'S BEEFING WITH....I CAN FEEL SOMETHING BREWING

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Y/N ATTACKED YOUR LANDMARK.

Y/N STOLE 5M IN A HEIST.

Y/N STOLE 72M IN A HEIST.

YOU PAID Y/N RENT.

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INSTAGRAM

maxverstappen1 STOP

yourname_awesome my reaction

maxverstappen1 reacted to this message. (❤️)

yourname_awesome ???? THAT'S SUSPICIOUS

maxverstappen1 MY reaction

yourname_awesome who is that girl ur with?

maxverstappen1 Idk i found this picture in the internet

yourname_awesome nah bro go back to ur other hoes

maxverstappen1 No

yourname_awesome 🤣

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Stolen glances from crowded rooms - that's all you were. You couldn't understand your dynamic with him, in texts the chemistry was there but in real life? He's awkward, rarely even speaks to you. "Do you think that he's a little tongue tied?" your best friend asked and you tilted your head sideways.

"What?" you inquired and she shrugs. "Men are shy when it comes to girls that they like." "Are you suggesting that he has a crush on me?" you furrowed your eyebrows and she nods. You scoff, "He's not a teenager," you chuckled.

She rolls her eyes.

"It's just a suggestion," she antagonized.

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"I've never seen a picture of you two together," Daniel takes a sip of his beer. Max glances at you again - eyes filled with adoration but no words exit his mouth. "Don't expose him, Daniel." Lando winks - Max freezes and they all exchange a knowing glance.

You lean back on the chair.

"Why would we need a picture together?" you giggled, placing a piece of apricot on your tongue. "Because you're friends," Lando saved his friend. Max was shitting bricks at this point. "Acquaintances, we've only known each other for a week." Max managed to let out.

You raised an eyebrow.

"You're hurting me with your words," you joked and he replies with a smile. "My bad," he breathed and his friends push him off the chair. "You can make it up to me by letting the boys take a picture of us," you smiled - seriously into him.

Not just because he was a Formula One Driver (it was a factor) but also because of his humor. He was hilarious... and handsome. "Cheese Maxie," Daniel says while pulling out his mobile phone.

The hug was basically second-nature.

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danielricciardo: Too cute not to post? @maxverstappen1 @yourname_awesome

liked by 1,283,219 others

>comments

standingina1950sgym: THE HARDEST HARD LAUNCH OF ALL

yourname_awesome: NAWW NOT YOU EXPOSING MY TATTOO

maxxieeelover: The matching shirts?? - yourname_awesome: pure coincidence huhu 😭

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@sugarhightano @lovelylunas-world @ironmaiden1313 @duck-duck-goose-18 @itsjustkhaos @daniellarogers @darleneslane @lilbeyotch1d

[thewritingofamadwoman]

The Text

Roy Kent has my heart (and so does Brett Goldstein). This is my first time writing for him so be gentle 😂

Pairing: Roy Kent x Fem!Reader (established relationship)

Warnings: Fluff, Roy’s potty mouth, allusions to sexy times (because I can’t write smut to save my life) and a cheesy joke brought to you by none other than Ted Lasso himself.

Enjoy!

“Okay boys, just remember that the photoshoot will be held during training on the pitch. Just act natural and don’t let the camera’s distract you,” I said, smiling at the team. Keeley clapped her hands, unable to keep her excitement at bay.

“You’re all going to look so fucking cool!” She squealed and the team beamed back; some smiling while others blushed at her praise. AFC Richmond was selected to be the featured football team in a new magazine spread honoring the Premier League. Keeley pulled some strings with her connections from her firm KJPR while I worked hard to call in a few favors from my years as the team’s social media strategist to get The Greyhounds considered for the shoot. And after months of phone calls and meetings, it finally paid off when the magazine’s PR group reached out to us earlier this week.

As luck would have it, today was the perfect day for a photoshoot; the sun was out, and the guys were pumped.

Coach Lasso clapped his hands and spoke up. “Alright fellas, you heard the ladies. Let’s go out there and show these snowmen what we’re made of!”

Everyone in the room went quiet, silently confused by Ted’s attempt at a joke.

“You know, because the magazines’ called “The Blizzard”. Like blizzard…? Snowmen…? Oh alright whatever, let’s just go out there and look good!” Ted waved, the team’s earlier exuberance returning as they headed out the door to the pitch.

I heard a voice call my name and turned to find Nate giving me a shy smile.

“Uhh, are the, um, are we as coaches going to be photographed as well?” He asked, pointing to himself, and then to the side where Ted, Beard and Roy stood. I nodded and Keeley spoke up.

“Oh of course! Can’t have a team photoshoot without its four fearless leaders!”

“You go out there as you would and just let the boys have at it. Just promise me you won’t punch any of the photographers if they annoy you,” I said the last part while looking directly at one particular coach. Roy crossed his arms and shook his head, speaking up immediately.

“I make no such promise.”

His gruff voice had me biting back a smile as I rolled my eyes in response.

“Don’t you dare be rude them, Roy Kent. Keeley and I have been working towards this moment for months. You get in trouble, you’re dealing with me, got it?” I said, trying my best to remain stern as I looked at him. Roy’s eyebrow twitched and I could see the amusement in his eyes before he nodded reluctantly, a growl accompanying the movement.

“Wonderful! Now let’s go!” Keeley practically floated out of the room in excitement while the rest of us filed out. My phone buzzed in my pocket by the time Keeley and I sat down in the stands, and I pulled it out to find a very much expected text message.

Roy-O

You are VERY sexy when you try to be stern ;)

I laughed to myself before shooting back a response.

Oh you liked that, did you?

But I’m serious, please don’t punch anyone

I didn’t even get the chance to put my phone away before another text came in

Roy-O

Why, gonna punish me if I do? ;)

I bit my lip as my eyes immediately looked over to where Roy stood. His phone was in his hand as he yelled at Jamie Tartt from across the field to stop being “a fucking weasel and kick the fucking ball already.” I took in his appearance, the way he stood tall with his arms crossed, phone gripped tightly in one hand. The way his biceps were accented perfectly by his black t-shirt. Roy Kent looked delectable in every way. I smiled to myself and decided to play along.

Maybe I will.

You fuck this photoshoot up for me and you won’t be getting ANY of this tonight…

<insert picture>

I put my phone on my lap and looked down at the pitch, waiting for Roy to get the text. He seemed preoccupied with training so I picked my phone back up to respond to a few emails while I waited for him to continue our little game. Suddenly, a far away cry of “watch it, Coach!!” sounded from across the pitch, and before I could even register what was happening, Roy was smacked right in the face by a rouge football. The resounding smack of the ball was so loud that everyone cringed unanimously.

“Oh fuck!” Keeley exclaimed at the same time I gasped, both of us standing up and watching on as Ted and the team rushed to Roy, who let out the loudest FUCK I think I have ever heard him exclaim.

“Tartt you FUCKING CUNT!” Roy yelled, grabbing his nose and bending forward. Jamie, whose panic manifested in nervous giggles, tried his best to apologize.

“I’m SO sorry Coach, but I did try to warn you, twice!”

Roy groaned again and glared at the player before pulling his hand back and looking down. Even from my spot on the stands I could see the distinctly recognizable color of blood on Roy’s hand.

Roy seethed at the sight and growled at Jamie.

“I’m going to fucking kill you.”

Jamie backed up in panic and both Ted and Beard jumped in to pull Roy back by his arms to stop him from advancing towards the striker. After a few moments, Roy pulled out of their grasps and turned, making his way back inside Nelson Road, probably to get the resident to check out his nose.

“That looks like it fucking hurt,” Keeley said, sitting back down.

“He’s not going to let Jamie off the hook for this one. He’s gonna make him do double drills at 4am for weeks,” I sighed.

“You gonna go check on lover boy?” She teased, and I smiled, already making my way down the steps.

“You know it. I’ll catch you later babes,” I responded back, blowing her a kiss.

By the time I made it inside, I found Roy seated on the physio bench, clutching an ice pack to his nose. The medic had just finished up and smiled at me on his way out, giving me a thumbs up. I walked up to Roy and cooed at him now that we were alone.

“Awww, are you okay love?” I soothed, placing a hand on the wrist holding the ice pack. Roy glared at me and grunted in reply.

“What’s that look for, what did I do?” I said, brows knit in confusion.

“Oh don’t you “what did I do” me. You’re the farthest thing from innocent, sending me that fucking picture.” Roy’s voice lowered and a mischievous smile settled on his face. I’m sure my eyes widened comically as I remembered what I had sent. Roy nodded, pulling the ice pack away.

“Yeah, that’s right. I opened your text and fucking hell, your fucking breasts on display like that in that strip of cloth you call a bra is the reason I got clobbered in the fucking face. How was I supposed to hear Tartt calling out when my only thought was sucking on those fucking perfect tits?”

I cupped my mouth and let out a gasp followed by a small laugh, feeling so bad for having been the reason he was so distracted.

“Oh my god baby, I’m so sorry! I didn’t think…“

Roy cut me off.

“Oh no, you knew exactly what you were doing you minx. C’mere,”

Roy placed the ice pack down onto the side of the physio bed and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me to him. I placed one hand on his shoulder and the other on his chin, inspecting his nose and face for myself.

“Fuck, Roy I feel horrible. I shouldn’t have sent that photo,” I smiled sheepishly at him. Roy shook his head, schooling his expression to stay stoic but I could see the amusement in his eyes again.

“Don’t you fucking dare apologize for sending that photo. But if you insist, I can think of a few ways you can earn my forgiveness….” He trailed off, his eyebrow raising and a smirk forming on his lips. I smiled back, happy he was okay.

“Well in that case, what if I told you I was wearing that bra you saw in the picture…right now…” I whispered as I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Roy’s chin, cheek, and gently on his nose.

“Fucking hell,” Roy breathed out, pulling me in tighter. I decided to push one more button, just to tease him a tiny bit more.

“Mmhm, and guess what? That bra has matching panties….”

Roy’s eyes closed and he released a deep and long “fuuuuuuuuck” before closing any gaps between us with a searing kiss. When he pulled back, I was sure my lips were as red and swollen as his. I rested my forehead on his before he hopped off the table and we walked back to work before heading back home for all that was promised.

———————-

A few days later, I was seated in my office organizing the next away game details for the team when I received an email from one of my contacts at The Blizzard. Attached were the photos from the training shoot. I was scrolling through the action shots until I stopped at four back to back pictures that had me giggling to myself.

In front of me were four shots of Roy: in the first photo he’s looking down at his phone with a neutral expression. In the second, his eye brows were raised and eyes blown wide. In the third photo, he was smirking at his phone. And finally, in the last photo of the bunch, Roy’s face was obscured by the football that has smacked him dead on. I scrolled back and forth between those four pictures, creating a little boomerang and watching Roy’s face the whole time and laughing hysterically.

I saved the photos to my phone and set the one where he was smirking as my lockscreen, savoring the memory of what ensued that night after that photo was taken.

[luneariaa]

☀︎ 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 | 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝

❥︎ - ; ꜰᴇᴍ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

❥︎ - 𝐭𝐰 : ɴᴏɴᴇ ᴀꜱ ᴍᴜᴄʜ! ɴᴏᴛ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴘʀᴏᴏꜰʀᴇᴀᴅ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ; ᴇɴᴅɪɴɢ ꜱᴏʀᴛᴀ ꜱᴇᴍɪ-ʀᴜꜱʜᴇᴅ.

❥︎ - 𝐚/𝐧 : ɪᴛ'ꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ ʀᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀᴇ qᴜɪᴛᴇ ᴀ ʟᴏᴛ ʟᴀᴛᴇʟʏ ꜱᴏ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ʜɪᴍ ᴏᴜᴛ! ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ʙᴇ ᴏᴏᴄ, ʙᴜᴛ ʜᴇ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴀᴅᴏʀᴇꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ,, („• ᴗ •„) 🧡🧡

☾︎ - 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭.

-✰-

The past few days have been filled with countless raindrops from above, making the sensation a lot colder-- several people even wishing for it to stop at some points. The rather thick blanket is being clutched tightly by her as she tries her best to keep herself warm within the confines of the current hideout she was in.

It was so cold that she couldn't bring herself to sleep just yet. Instead, her eyes stared out at the slightly open window and onto the view of the rain; her expression is one filled with serenity and wonder at the very moment.

The sound of the door being opened can be heard just from a distance, though she remained preoccupied with her own thoughts and the rain itself.

With several quiet yet careful footsteps, the charming blonde-haired male approaches the young lady; kneeling beside her after.

"Are you alright, my dear?" Joshua begins to ask upon noticing her focus is solely towards the rain outside, which resulted in her being startled slightly once she heard someone speak to her.

"You scared me!" She places her hand over her heart as she instantly shifts her gaze from the rain and towards him. "-- and I didn't notice you entering, sorry!" The lady begins to slowly regain her composure as Joshua merely chuckles at her reaction.

"My apologies, I didn't mean to scare you." He apologizes, wrapping his arms around her form tenderly-- pulling her into an embrace. "The rain has been going on all day today."

She nods in agreement, leaning onto his touch and to feel the natural warmth radiating from his form alone. "Truly, it's been quite cold. I suppose the weather has been gloomy these past few days." She jokes lightly, which earned a soft amused grin from Joshua; his hand found its way to caress her soft hair.

"Is there anything you need, perhaps?" He questions while placing a small kiss upon her forehead, which caused her to giggle happily and shook her head.

"Mm no, really!" She answered simply, resting her face on the crook of his neck comfortably as he started the fire nearby; but not too near, using his magic. Their surroundings feel a bit less cold by now.

"You're so warm.. I could stay like this forever."

The blonde-haired male simply smiled sweetly at her words, placing his hand tenderly onto her cheek, wiping a bit of visible dirt off. The young lady's face reddened a little upon his actions, feeling affection and warmth radiating off from him.

"You deserve a better life than this." Joshua begins to say, gazing into her eyes with a warm expression-- beautiful blue eyes consist of a lot of untold emotions. "You deserve to sleep on a more comfortable bed, and even have the finest foods for your daily fill." 

She received another kiss atop of her head; snuggling against him even more.

"But I don't wish to experience it alone myself, Joshua.." The lady spoke in an almost quiet manner, soft even, as if she's taking care and cautious with her own words. "I wanted to experience it with you. Someday, we will get what we've wished for; I'm sure of it."

Joshua feels so happy upon hearing the words escaping from her lips at this moment between them. His heart feels light, as if all of his burdened thoughts have washed away almost instantly.

"Of course, I wished for the same thing as well, actually." He touches her face gently, affectionately. "I will fight for you, until I feel as if the sun has shine down upon us again."

"Until there's no more reason to hide; no need to endure long cold nights, and even pain. You deserve none of those, truly."

Perhaps his words have hit a little too hard upon her heart, because she could feel her own eyes getting teary from his statement. It didn't go unnoticed, of course, as he tried to brush away the tears that managed to escape her eyes with such tenderness.

"You're too sweet for me, Joshua.. But in truth, I was quite scared of our unforeseeable future." Her admission made him fall into realization upon her true emotions right at this moment. But nonetheless, he tries his best to appear calm and composed; trying to reassure her without any hint of hesitation.

"And it's completely alright if you feel scared. We've been through a lot lately, but I'll be right here. I'm never going to leave you."

His words are sincere and truthful. "I believe in you-- we will make it through this."

Joshua's expression changes yet again into one of pure concern as she stayed silent after he spoke. But his emotions just escalate further once he notices how her eyes are glistening with some hint of tears present within them even more; thus pulling her closer, pressing his lips against her forehead.

"Oh, my dear (Y/N).. Don't you worry." He exhales out his breath almost quietly. "Everything's going to be alright." 

Though not giving any sort of response still, the lady nodded in understanding while sniffling slightly-- leaning onto him for more needed comfort. He held onto her hands, warming them up with his own.

"Do me a favor, please-- can you look at me?"

Not once he was angered by her actions, but rather filled with genuine concern and complete devotion that he held towards her alone.

So she obeyed his gentle commands, lifting her head and gaze into his deep blue eyes. He begins to take this opportunity to put the gorgeously designed flower crown atop of her head gently-- one that he has created using his magic before then. 

Perhaps, it is to show as a small gesture of reassurance and gratitude towards her; that he truly cared for her wellbeing, or just wanted to give her some sort of gift for now.

Joshua truly looked so proud and satisfied with his little gift, looking down and into her eyes with a delightful grin. "Now, look at you! You look so adorable like this."

All the while, her eyes aren't leaving his own even for a second, as if she's merely admiring with whatever he's been doing.

His grin truly looks all too adorable to her; even more so, pleased with his own creation. The lady then grabs ahold of the flower crown from her head, releasing a giggle upon his sweet actions.

"This is very beautiful, indeed!" She exclaims joyfully, her smile mirroring his own. "But-" She then places the flower crown on top of his head instead.

"-- look at you, gosh! The flower crown suits you more!" She teases while laughing, but Joshua pays no mind as much to her own actions; simply finding her even more endearing and feeling as though nothing else matters at this moment.

Just the two of them alone.

A thought even crosses his mind-- perhaps, she could be a fallen angel being sent down to him from the heavens above? By the stars, Joshua finds himself hardly able to avert his gaze away from the mere sight of her.

And so, without thinking, he pulls her closer once more, causing a surprised gasp to escape from her lips as he puts the flower crown back atop of her head gently with a soft look. The lady could sense the heat beginning to rise upon her face when she felt his arm around her waist-- the other hand made its way to cup her cheek. 

The rain outside begins to show signs of stopping, but neither of them paid much attention to it.

"May I kiss you?" The sudden request caught her off guard, stumbling upon her own words as she became very flustered.

"Y-You may.."

Once he receives the answer that he had been secretly seeking for, Joshua tenderly captures her lips with his own. Their lips molded against each other so perfectly; so fitting. She moves her arms around his neck as she finds herself losing into the kiss, while his arms are encircled around her waist at this moment.

The kiss overall feels quite chaste; no other unwanted desire can be felt within it. It's simply a pure, affectionate reminder that the two love each other very, very much so. And he had to start it first.

They slowly parted from each other a few seconds later; their expressions appeared to be bashful, eyes not leaving one another. The two took their precious time to admire every single detail off from each other's face up that close.

"I love you, (Y/N). After all of this is over..." Joshua begins to say, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear gently. 

"Let's build our own life, shall we? A safe, comforting place just for the two of us. I'll keep you safe no matter what, always remember that." He vows, before resting his forehead against hers. 

"But of course; we need to find my brother first. I'm sure you're aware that you'll be accompanying me in doing so."

"For sure."

His darling merely nods, clearly agreeing as the two shared a laugh towards each other, trying to lighten up the mood even further.

"Thank you, Joshua, for everything.." She couldn't contain herself from smiling contentedly at his promise, closing her eyes momentarily, as if wanting to relish within the moment as she speaks.

"I shall never leave your side as well. I'd be very glad and love to build a life together with you.. Honestly, it's a dream of mine, so I'm glad that it was with you."

She holds onto him as close as she could, to which he returns her tender actions with a relaxed smile plastered on his face.

"And I love you too, Joshua. Always."

𝐞𝐧𝐝.

-✰-

© 𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚜.

[pastelavender88]

Sinbound- Chapter 11

Summary: It’s been a month since the events of the last chapter: Eddie and Buck are on the outs and Buck’s family is back in town; Something major happens to Y/n.

Warning: Talks of miscarriage.

Series Masterlist

It’s been a month since Eddie and I broke up. It was touch and go for a while. The night of the breakup I asked for 2 hours. It doesn’t take 2 hours to basically pick up your whole life. Alex and I took all our clothes and toiletries but we still had to come back and get the rest of our things. I decided it would be best to leave all the baby’s stuff there, but excluding that I still had a ton of things. Bobby and Athena served as the buffer between Eddie and I. Athena would text me to tell me that Bobby told her Eddie and Christopher would be out of the house from 12-4 pm and stuff like that. Eddie and I still haven’t spoken since that night even though he tried. He gave me a good 2 days before he was blowing up my cell and trying to talk and work things out, but I was serious when I meant Eddie and I were done. The betrayal still keeps me awake at night if I let my mind wander enough and the events starting on the night in question and the big blow up play in my head like a movie. Alex and I moved in with Buck for the time being while I figured out the next step in our lives. Buck was more than happy to welcome us and he’s been accommodating in any way he can. He’s been going with me to my doctor appointments, driving me around a lot since I’ve gotten a little bigger and lazier to do it myself, and even taking a parenting class with me. Even though I had Alex already a lot of things have changed in the last 12 years.  Speaking of all the things Buck is doing for me, Eddie is quite pissed at him because of it. Also, the fact that Buck is the one that told me about Eddie’s infidelity. So everything has been quite an adjustment. It was morning and Buck was off today so that meant family breakfast. Which was really more me cooking whatever I was craving and everyone being too lazy to complain or make anything else. Today was chicken, waffles, spicy syrup, bacon, eggs, and french toast. (Don’t judge but I craved this my whole pregnancy.) Buck came down from the room and sat at the table. The reason I call it the room is because technically it’s both Buck and I’s room. See Buck only has two rooms in his loft but the other room is Alex’s and it’s not exactly big enough to share. So Buck and I share the room in the sense that both of our things are there like clothes, shoes, jewelry, little things like that. Buck did buy a couch though, so that way he has something to sleep on. Right now Buck was trying to convince me to go with him and Alex to pick up his parents later. “They would love to see you. I mean it’s been over a year since they last saw you.” “Yeah and since then I got knocked up and then left a single mom. Again.” “True, but you look really cute pregnant and they haven’t seen this glow.” He said, as he pointed his fork at me. “That may be the case but seriously I’m not up for that yet.” Buck could tell my mood was becoming somber, so he let it go. “Alright. Did I tell you guys what happened yesterday at work? Some guy’s kids buried him in the sand and splashed water on him when a freak flash of lightning hit and turned the sand into glass. It was insane.” “Buck I’m trying to eat.” “Mom, that's actually really cool and mother nature at work. What did that guy say in that really old dinosaur movie ‘life always finds a way’. Life is science.” “Did she just call Jurassic Park a really old movie?” I asked Buck. I turned to Alex. “That movie came out the year I was born for your info.” “How do you think I feel? I’m older than you by two years.” Buck joked. The conversation kept flowing from there and eventually it was time to clean up and start the day. Since the break up with Eddie I haven’t really been writing much so my day usually centers around Buck and Alex. I felt like a 50’s housewife. After making sure everyone had everything they needed for their day I would tidy the house, wash dishes, do laundry. It was a feminist nightmare but I was so numb I didn’t really care. I’ve been seeing a therapist but it didn’t help as much as I thought it would. Most people describe therapy as this life-altering interaction but for me it felt like when you were called to the guidance counselor in school about bullying or something. Like I was put on the spot. Don’t get me wrong there was improvement but I just didn’t feel satisfied or “fixed” in a sense. We dived into my relationship issues a lot and I understand what Eddie was saying. The “relationship” that Buck and I had while Eddie and I were still together was emotional cheating, which proved my point. We were bad for each other. Eddie and I both rushed into this relationship after commitment issues on both sides, so we were destined for doom. Either way the pain inside of me from his affair with Ana wasn’t going away because I know that what I did didn’t warrant that. Instead of breaking it off or establishing clear boundaries, Eddie decided that cheating was the best route. So here I am feeling like less than a person over a toxic relationship we both should have some coming to an end. Buck’s POV Since Y/n didn’t want to come with me I was forced to suffer with my parents alone. It was worth it since Albert was there. “Uh, Albert, hey, check this out.” I showed Albert Y/n’s ultrasound picture. It was so cool to be a part of this process and I couldn’t help but show it off. “You brought more than takeout.” Albert replied, “Well, uh, Chimney didn't tell you?” “Yeah, that I've been gone less than a year and you're a father again? No.” God I hope my parents didn’t hear that. “Uh, no, not-not exactly.” “But that's a…” Albert started. “Baby. Buck...?” My mom was suddenly standing behind me. “Is there something you need to tell us? You're gonna be an uncle again!” My mom shouted as she jumped to conclusions. “Phillip! Maddie and Howard are gonna have another baby!” My mom yelled as she went to hug Chimney. “What?” Chim asked, confused. “That's fantastic! I had a feeling when you bought this house.” My dad replied. “I mean, it's a little soon to be pregnant again, but... Why not?!” Mom said. “This is very good news, Howard. Why didn't you tell us sooner? “ Chimney’s stepmom asked. “Uh, guys... Guys, we're... not pregnant.” He said. “You're not?” Mom asked. “No.” “Then who is?” Mom asked as she turned to me. “That’s what I was trying to say. Y/n is pregnant again. It’s a girl.” “You and Y/n are having another baby?” My dad asked. “No, mom is having a baby with Eddie.” Throughout all the confusion, everyone forgot Alex was sitting at the table on her tablet. “But, they're not together anymore so we're living with dad.” “Okay, let’s not deepdive into it. Give your mom some privacy.” When we got home it was time for a talk about privacy. “So Y/n and living with you while she’s pregnant with another man’s baby?” My dad asked. “And you’re going to help raise the baby?” “It's not like that. We’re not together, I’m just helping her while she figures a few things out. Also, if she wants of course I’ll help raise the baby but we haven’t thought that far ahead. We’re taking things day-by-day.” The way everyone except Maddie, Chimney, and Alex were looking at me I could tell they had a lot to say. “I think it's…” My mom started. “Here we go. “ I knew I was about to get an earful. “Great.” She finished. That shocked me. “Uh, yeah?” “You’re a wonderful father to Alex and I know if you need to be you’ll be a wonderful father to this little girl as well.” Dad replied. “Not only are you a good father but you’re a good man.” My mom said as she stepped towards me for a hug. I wrapped my arms around her. “Here. Dad, you want to see?” I said showing him the sonogram “Oh, absolutely.”  He said as he took the phone from me. “Phillip. You are going to allow this?” Howie’s dad asked. “It's not really for me to allow.” Dad replied. “A man cannot raise a child fathered by another man, it's unnatural.” Howie’s father reiterated. “Says the expert in child-rearing, huh? I would think you would relate to Buck's decision. Father them and let someone else raise them.” “Howie.” Albert explained. “Whoa, Chim. It's-it's okay.” I said. “A man who cannot control his family is not a man.” Howie’s dad added to already building tension. “Maybe a man who's too controlling forces his sons to hide from him in another country.” My dad fired back. “Okay, easy. Come on, Dad.” I said. “Children need to learn that actions have consequences.” “I'm sorry, but how is any of this your business?” my mom asked Howie’s dad. “He did announce it to everyone.” Albert’s mom said. ‘Well, that wasn't exactly my choice.” I said, making it clear. “It was a bad choice.” “My dad helping out my mom wasn’t a bad choice, you’re just mean.” Alex called out. “Alex. Honey, you can not talk to adults like that.” “See this is exactly what I am talking about. Your child has no manners and you plan to raise another?” “Oh, that's rich.” My dad replied yet again, kicking everything off. Everyone started to argue until due to a storm the lights went out.   “Buck, grab some candles, we got the doors”. Howie called me. As mom played with Jee and Alex, Maddie and I talked. “I think maybe Albert was right.” I said to Maddie. “Oh, I wouldn't say that out loud.” “Ever think about what it might've been like...?” “What?” “If Daniel had lived.” I asked her. “Yeah, sometimes.” “You?” Just then the lights came back on and everyone was relieved. “I think it would've been just like this.” Y/n’s POV (Think of this happening at the same time as Buck’s) I was sitting on the couch after cleaning when I heard a knock on the door. “Did you forget your key or something Buck?” I swung open the door and there stood Eddie. I crossed my arms and clenched my fists tight. The nerve he had to show up here. “What are you doing here Eddie?” “I’m here to talk to you. You haven’t spoken to me in a month. At least not without a third party being involved. I haven’t gone to any of your appointments since then.” “You barely went before so what’s the difference?” “Y/n, how long are we going to do this? Huh? Are we gonna be those parents that drag their kids through hell?” “Don’t do that. I can’t do this right now.” “So when are we going to do this? Talk things out?” “I don’t know Eddie. It’s only been a month.” “We need to talk about this.” “No. I need time. Time away from you. I’ll tell you when I’m ready to talk to you.” I went to shut the door on Eddie but he put his hand there to stop it. “I miss you Y/n. Christopher missed you.” “I miss Christopher too. He’s more than welcome over here, because you’re pissed with Buck you won’t let him over here.” Eddie was quiet. “Eddie, I want to move forward but I need to do it at my own pace. The way you’re behaving isn’t helping.  I mean I feel like you aren’t even sorry.” “I am sorry. I will always be sorry for what I did. Not only because I hurt you but because I destroyed everything we built when I did it. I’m so sorry Y/n.” “I hear you Eddie I do, but I still need time. Okay?” “Alright. I’ll go. I love you y/n.” I still loved Eddie but I didn’t know if I was in love with him anymore. “Goodbye, Eddie.” Time went on and eventually Buck came home. “Hey, where’s Alex?” “She’s spending the night at Maddie and Chim’s house.” “I thought the house wasn’t done and what clothes is she going to wear?” “Our daughter is a sneaky one. She put her clothes in my truck along with a sleeping bag. How am I supposed to say no to that?” “I’m sure it’s really easy but she’s got you wrapped around her finger.” “Yeah, she does.” Buck came and sat down beside me on the couch. “So it’s just the two of us tonight, what are we doing? “I was thinking of doing something a little risky…” “Oh really?” “Oh yeah.” “How risky we talking?” “Oh you know, I’m gonna change and slip into something a little more comfortable, and then…” “Then what?” “We’re gonna eat so much ice cream our guts explode and watch trashy reality tv.” “Now that’s what I’m talking about.” Buck said. We’d always had that joking relationship that could be borderline sexual but now that we actually live together the sexual part was definitely a no-no. “I’ll be back.” I went upstairs to change. “What kind of ice cream we doing tonight, Rocky road or fudge?” “Ooh, let’s do a rocky road tonight.” I started to change when I felt a warm sensation in my pants. I looked down at my now ruined pants and noticed blood. I carefully rushed down the stairs. Buck was facing away from me but heard me come down the stairs. “You changed already, that was fast.” He turned around and saw my expression. “What’s the matter?” “I’m bleeding.” I could tell Buck wasn’t catching on to what I was saying. “Like down there.” Buck became a panicked nervous mess. “Oh my god! Okay. Let me grab my shoes and my keys and we’ll throw you in the car.” Before I could say anything he darted off. He looked around the front door and then made his way into the living room. “Where are my shoes? Where are my keys?” “Buck calm down. Your keys are on the hook and your shoes are in the room. I’m gonna put on a pad and change, while I’m doing that, call Dr.Manning.” “Alright.” I went into the room changed and put on a pad in case of more bleeding. When I came back down, Buck was waiting on me. “Dr.Manning is going to meet us at the hospital.” “Okay.” We made our way downstairs and got into the car when I realized I forgot to call Eddie. I went to reach my phone and couldn’t find it. “Buck, can you call Eddie? I left my phone inside the loft.” “Yeah of course.” Buck called Eddie but it went straight to voicemail. “Hey Eddie, I’m taking Y/n to the hospital to see Dr.Manning. Call me back when you get this,” He hung up and turned towards me. “Are you okay? Are you in pain?” “No, I'm doing okay, just the bleeding.” I was trying to keep a leveled head but my mind was racing. It was going to places I didn’t want it to go. “You know when I was pregnant with Alex I had a scare kind of like this. I was in the hospital for 2 days. They said her heart rate was low and there was a chance I could lose her. What if I lose this baby Buck?” My tears were threatening to spill from my eyes. Buck grabbed my hand and caressed it.“Don’t think like that. We’re going to see Dr.Manning and she’s going to tell us that that beautiful baby girl of yours is okay and whatever is happening is probably normal, okay?” “Okay. Thanks Buck.” “Of course.” He said as he kissed my hand. Buck and I arrived at the hospital where Dr.Manning was waiting. She ushered us into the ultrasound room and began to take a sonogram. “Okay, let’s take a look.” She moved the wand around and I saw how she squinted at the screen. “Here’s the baby right here. Let’s hear this heartbeat.” She moved over and I heard her heartbeat. It sounded good or at least I think. “That’s a strong and healthy heart beat right there.” I let out a relieved breath. She moved the wand around more until she stopped at this big blob. “Okay, here’s the problem. You’re suffering from Placenta previa. It’s when the placenta completely or partially covers the opening of the uterus. How bad was the bleeding?” “If I was on my period I would say it’s a light flow.” “And are you still bleeding now.” “No, I don't feel anything.” “I’m gonna keep you here for the rest of the night and monitor everything. In the morning I’ll let you know whether or not you’ll be discharged. Let me just say since it’s your second child it’s more than likely gonna resolve itself. What’s your birthing plan?” “I planned on doing a vaginal birth.” “Okay. We’re going to do more appointments than usual and if this resolves itself we can go ahead with that plan. If not we’re going to have to do a c-section delivery. Okay?” “Alright.” “Dad is more than welcome to stay if he would like. I’m going to make sure a room is prepared and ready for you. Let me know if you need anything.” I didn’t feel like correcting her about Buck in any way. “Okay.” She departed the room and Buck and I sat there almost as if we were waiting on the other person to say something first.” “Do you want me to stay with you?” Buck said, breaking the silence. “Only if you’d like to.” “Of course I would. Do you want me to go home and get anything?” “No I’m okay. It’s just for the night right?” “Right.” Soon a nurse came and brought us to the room we would be staying in for the night and we got comfortable. Sometime throughout the night the anxiety left me and before I knew it I was asleep. I was awoken by a nurse and Dr. Manning coming in. Buck was already awake. “Good morning. How are you feeling?” “I’m fine. Just nervous to be honest.” “Well I have good news, we found nothing concerning while monitoring you over night so that means you can go home. We’ll be having more frequent visits but I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.” “That’s great thanks doc.” Buck replied. “Just doing my job, but this does mean a few things. No moderate or strenuous exercise, heavy lifting, standing for long periods of time and sadly no sexual intercourse or sexual activity that could lead to orgasm. At least until the baby is born.” I wanted to dig a hole so deep and crawl in it. “Any followup questions?” “Nope, I’m good. You got any, Y/n?” Buck replied with a grin. “She’s covered everything. Thanks, we’ll be out of your hair now.” Dr. Manning said her goodbyes to us, leaving alone to brew in the awkwardness. “No sex until the baby gets here. Well I guess there’s no point in you living with me anymore.” I believe that was Buck’s bad attempt at a joke. “Haha, so funny. Besides it’s mostly if the issue doesn’t resolve itself I think.” I don’t know why I answered like it was a serious possibility. “Let’s go. I’m hungry.” I quickly made my way out of the room in order to avoid talking about this any further.

[igotanidea]

Toxic : Dick grayson x reader pt 2

Just FYI: As I mentioned I changed the readers proffesion (forensic scientist and tech expert) and her alias - to Flux (you'll figure it out), but everything else is the same.

I made a life for myself outsider of Gotham. Leaving the past behind hoping it would never come running after me. Since I was always interested in science and criminology (no surprise given my adoptive father’s side job) I became a forensic scientist and technician for the LAPD. I worked hard to become to best in my profession and the one people relied on. What was funny, despite my rather reserved outside and dislike of any office gossip I was also known as the one who gave the best advice. Maybe it was because of my abilities. Oh, and speaking of that other part of me, I tried to give up on them. Being Ghost just did not work out anymore so I made a choice of being ordinary, no-super-enhanced YN. Funny thing was that despite my quitting they developed. After year one I discovered that apart from being an empath I could also draw people’s energy and use it to form some sort of shields and protections. Shit. Is that what you get when you try to bury the past?

But this, this was fine. I was still able to make it work in line with my normal life. I got back in touch with an old friend, Donna Troy aka Wonder Girl, who used to be my best friend back in the titans day. We worked quite well together, her extravert nature filling well enough for my introversion and vice versa. We met from time to time, keeping our friendship afloat. Once she made a mistake of asking me about what happened in Gotham that made me run away and whether this concerned Dick (after all he was her friend too), but I shoved her off, probably a bit harsher than intended. But I knew she understood my motives.

Life was good for a couple of freaking years. And then all Hell broke loose. By some crazy accident I came to the information that our department will be energized by the new detective. Normally I would let this news pass me by without giving any more thought into it, but when I got the notification of the upcoming employee I could not believe my own eyes. We would like to inform you that starting today we will have another detective on board. Please give warm welcome to detective Dick Grayson. Fuck! What the hell was he doing here? Was it some undercover mission for Batman? Surely he did not know I was working here as well. It’s been such a long time and I thought I was over feelings for him. Ha, ha, ha….. Good joke apparently. Thank god I had my lab on the other side of the floor so, luck help me, we would not be seeing each other too often. Knowing myself and knowing Dick, this could got awkward.

Thoughts and memories started bombarding my head up the point where I forgot about “starting today” part of the message and if it wasn’t for some other detectives who saw me sitting and staring at the wall I would just miss this warm welcome. Not that I would complain if it were to happen. But they were reluctant to all my excuses starting from the pettiest one like “I got a lot of work to do” ending on the most unbelievable one’s like “I got an old injury in my leg back and I can’t move.” Damn detectives. They just dragged me out of the office into the conference room.

“What is this? A kindergarten party?” I muttered crossing my arms and trying to stand in the back

“Oh, come on YN, don’t be grumpy. You are going absolutely wild in this solitary lab of yours. Aren’t you at least a bit curious about the new meat?” detective Todd Carson asked me

“Nope. Not even a little.”

“I’ve heard he is hot, you know. You could use some distraction” Amanda, the secretary winked at me.

“Leave the girl be, guys.” Captain Sarah Anders cut them off, as always when situations get a bit more serious. “we are still at work and you know the  HR policy on the matter of relationship between coworkers.”

“Thank you captain” I sighed “can I just go back to the …..?”

“Absolutely not. Despite everything you need to act nice towards our new colleague. Or at least, appropriately. And that requires meeting him”

“Believe me, I already had the pleasure” I mumbled almost inaudibly

“What were you saying?”

“Nothing. Sorry boss.”

“Good. Here he comes apparently.”

Fuck! He did not change a thing. Maybe brazened a little bit but apart from that he still got those messy, soft hair, smart, glistening eyes and straight posture. His energy was buzzing and it did not take my powers to see and fell that. I could not help the slightest blush that came onto my face.

“Changing your mind already, my dear?”” Amanda smirked at me “he is hot, isn’t he?”

I simply stayed silent since I couldn’t really deny and agreeing was not an option. At this moment I wished I could just turn invisible. Oh, wait….. Everyone was so busy with the introduction, captain Anders included that this might as well work out. I took a step back, towards the door to test the waters. No one noticed, so I took another one and then another and another. And just as I was about to cross the threshold Dick’s super-sensing made him turn head in my direction. It was …. Well, I don’t even know how to describe it. The way light froze in his eyes, but his facial expression did not change. The way his pupils dilated as he saw me, showing so many different emotions ranging from disbelief, though surprise, guilt and pain. It was physically hurting me, feeling all the same as he did. It was mere seconds before we both regained our cool attitude. Years of training made our reflexes and adapting abilities better than most people. He got back to greeting his teammates and I fled back to my safe space, my glass cage, controlling my breath and heartbeat in desperate need of something to focus on.   However, I couldn’t stop wondering what will his next move be.

***

He didn’t come to see me. Obviously, I did not come to see him either. Like I mentioned my lab was on the other side of the floor so most likely he got too invested in whatever case was assigned to him to take any sightseeing tour. Was this a relief? Yes. Really. But for how long?

***

He broke three days later. I was sitting in front of the files and samples with headphones off but I still heard the knocking and instantly knew. Everyone else just busted through the door.

“Come in, detective” I sighed turning around.

“Are you hiding from me?” he cut straight to the chase

“Is that even possible? Given all you can do? All your trained skills?”

“YN….” He sighed and plumped down onto the chair next to me

“Sorry.“ I mumbled looking down “been a while. How you’ve been?” I tried acting cool, keeping all my questions at bay. Are you just passing by? Are you on a mission? Are still with…

“Small talk, YN?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was just trying to be warm and welcoming, but might as well go big right ahead. Why are you here?”

“I quit.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I quit being Robin.”

“What happened?”

“I was becoming too much like Bruce. And I never wanted that. So I….”

“run away?” I asked eyeing him carefully

“yes.”

“Seems like we have something in common.”

“You had different motives for that.”

“I guess. But the results turned out to be the same.” I hesitated before speaking again “are you going to stay?”

“I left almost right after you. ” He spoke at the same time and it made us both go silent

“Um…. Do you need any help with your cases?” I swiftly changed the subject but it was already awkward.

“I might, if you are willing to give me a hand. Everyone speaks so highly of you.”

“It’s just the job, Dick. I try to do my best.”

“You always did.”

“Apparently not good enough in some matters.” I just couldn’t stop my bitterness and reminiscence of the past from getting out.

“I’m sorry.” He said after a while

“I know. The past is in the past.” I was terrible liar and he knew that “how can I help you? With work of course?”

 

***

It’s been a couple of weeks during which we worked together a couple of times. It was strange at first but soon this tension between us just went off and we were able to work without any inhibitions. It was clear to see he has changed. Definitely trying his best to not be like Bruce and move past all the aggression and pain he was raised with. So yeah, we were back to being friends or at least working it out this way. That was until a very special and very scared girl showed up at the precinct.

“YLN, there’s a call for you.” My solitary work was interrupted by fellow detective named Anderson

“Is it urgent?” I frowned, not used to being summoned this way.

“Apparently. Otherwise no one would dare interrupting you.”

“Who’s in need?”

“Grayson.”

“I’m not even surprised.” I sighed “I’ll pick it here if you don’t mind” I motioned him towards the door and he was quick to get out “What’s up Grayson?”

“YN, I might need a bit of your help in the interrogation room.”

“Interrogation room? I think you are mistaking my roles in this office, Dick. Unless….” I cleared one’s throat “who’s help are you seeking exactly?”

“I think you already know.”

“No.”

“YN….”

“No, Dick. We’ve talked about this. I gave up that part of me.”

“Did you?” he mocked

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Look YN, I’ve got a kid…..”

“Well then congratulations daddy” I could almost feel his blood boil at this word.

“Stop it! She’s scared. There’s something …. Different about her. I’ve never seen her before and she knew about the circus and the accident and all the history….. YN, I really need your help here.”

“What’s her name” I sighed standing up and getting ready to get to the second floor where the girl was.

“Rachel.”

“I’m on my way. But I don’t like it, Dick. At all.”

 

***

“Rachel?” I walked through the door where black-dressed teenager was sitting

“Are you Dick’s friend?” she looked at me with eyes filled with terror

“That’s the word he used?” I smirked “I guess you can say something like that. He mentioned some…. things about you…..”

“There’s something inside me….” She shook in fear

“Ok. We can work that out” I felt so much pain and struggle coming from inside “I’ll help you. We will help you.”

“How?” she looked me straight in the eyes “I don’t think you can do this.”

I sighed. Rachel was clearly something more than human. More like…. Me. But how do I explain to her the range of my abilities without compromising my work here. Been there, done that. Once you start again it’s like an addiction creeping inside your mind and craving more. Damn you, Grayson! You couldn’t just leave me be.

“Give me your hand, will you?” I put my palm forward but she was hesitant to grab it “don’t worry, you won’t hurt me. I know how to protect myself, ok? You have to trust me on this.”

The girl just nodded and gently touched my hand. None of us expected what happened later. Sudden splurge of invisible energy made us both gasp in pain. It was only a couple of seconds but I felt everything that was inside her coming at me and drowning me in. I immediately put an internal force field to save myself from being consumed but damn it was harder than everything I ever dealt with before. I could also sense she saw something about me.

“What just happened?” her eyes was wide with fear

“What did you see?” I panted breaking the contact “how much?”

“A couple years in the past. You and Dick and how you used your powers…..”

“Please keep it to yourself, will you?”

“Sure. What did you see?”

“I felt. What’s inside you is bigger than we can deal with ourselves. I will help you, Rachel, I promise. Just…. Stay here for a while, ok? I’ll get Dick and we will figure the rest out.”

“Please don’t leave me here” she sobbed

“Rachel, hey, don’t crack. What we are dealing with is not normal, but in case you didn’t notice neither am I. We will work it out.”

“Promise?”

“Pinky promise” I smirked “that’s still a thing, right?”

“Yes” finally the faintest of smiles showed on her face.

“Good. I thought I was getting out of touch with teenage slang. Wait here, I will put a force field on, all right. No one will hurt you.” I turned towards the door

“YN?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

I just nodded without a word. Now, I had a problem. And by saying I, I meant Dick had a problem as well.  

to be continued

@somest1 @pinksirensong @deadpoolgirl23 @bearly-koalafied @vanessa-boo @shadowmarvelartist

[fangshing]

Hello!

This a member of the TV Station trying to apologize to you. Originally, I was going to send you a direct message but you have all of my blogs blocked and I don't want to pull what Arty used to and make a blog just to message you. That's creepy.

I want to start off by saying I am genuinely very sorry for her harassing you in the past and while the entire situation seems like a joke, a horrible grab for attention or fake I promise you this is very much real it has been very much affecting my personal life and the investigation with Ezra.

Full disclosure; I don't know you. I never wanted your contact information or your Discord, people would usually just kind of relay others to me expect me to know what's going on but I really am trying my best to distance myself from the situation which is impossible when I'm the only person who's out in the open if that makes any sense.

Understandably I get why you wouldn't want to see what I post unless someone else's screenshotting it without my permission and posting it, both sides have done this and I don't appreciate it and I typically don't see it because I'm very rarely on Tumblr and if I do see someone reposting my stuff without asking (which I'm only paranoid about because one of Sunny's friends has edited my face white more than once) I can't do much to undo the action.

I can say I know that the blogs typically will reblog a post without any commentary because it was meant to go into drafts or something to be commented on later or archived on the internet archive or some other thing I really don't know and really don't care because this is dragging my entire reputation through the mud it's been making everything harder for every person in my life right now.

You have no reason to believe this is me and I don't really have any way to show except if I take a screenshot of this and post it which I probably will at some point, but I am deeply sorry for the harassment you've faced. You're welcome to DM me with any questions you have or for any explanations.

Two things we can say is that we don't have a fictive of Taylor's OC and Arty is a real person, her deadname is in Sunny's callout.

Ben

Since you're being polite and trying to clear the air, I'll refrain from being a sarcastic bitch in this post. I do not forgive you, but its nice that you felt the need to apologize.

That being said, I don't appreciate that you block-evaded, even if your intentions were good. I do not want to speak with you, Hau, or anyone else in the TV Station system. I have made that abundantly clear on several different occasions.

The thing with the archiving still puzzles me. Posts from people who are twice removed from the drama (that is, only involved because they are interacting with me) are being cataloged even if the post has absolutely nothing to do with you. Like, a post that was just lyrics from a nonsensical YouTube video was saved by one. Why?

This entire situation doesn't have to continue. You and your friends don't have to do this. There is nothing to gain from trying to defend your character online. Ultimately this hurts nobody but yourself. People have already made up their minds about you and no amount of convincing will get them to change their minds. They are inconsequential anyway; the likelihood of you ever meeting them in person is slim to none. Internet slap fights where someone is trying to protect their honor has never ended well and has always resulted in more trouble for them than if they let it go.

The nature of human beings is that people will always take offense to what you do, no matter what that may be. You don't have to acknowledge them or try to prove them wrong. Like I said above, its doubtful you will meet any of your online detractors, and even less likely that they'll know who you are if they do. The opinions of someone who is this unimportant doesn't have to matter. If you don't look at their accounts, you will never know what they said, and it can never hurt you.

You don't have to take my advice, but I thought I would at least offer my two cents instead of saying "lol fuck off" because that helps no one.

[tleeaves]

❤️💛💚💙🌙💉📺 🧟‍♀️ 🍓 🍊 🍐

Hi, lovely!! Thank you for sending in the ask!

❤️ how tall are you?

I am juuust scraping five foot one (5'1"). No use telling me any short jokes, I've heard them all already throughout my entire life so far. I was born on the tiny side and that never really changed.

💛 what is your favourite feature on yourself?

Hm, I'd have to say my hair. I really like all the ways it can sit/behave depending on when I washed it, if I let it dry naturally, what length it's at and so on. Also, I love how soft and fluffy it can feel. I have a bad habit of touching my hair actually, from like brushing/combing it back with my hands to twirling it around my fingers (not in a flirty way, just in a "wow I love the texture" way). Growing up, a lot of people were fascinated with my hair because of how thick it was too, and that kind of rubbed off on me maybe?

💚 where are you from?

Originally, a farm in Australia. Currently, in coastal suburbia, still Australia!

💙 do you have any siblings?

Yes! Three. They're all younger than me.

🌙 your zodiac (Sun, Moon, Rising)

Capricorn Sun, Leo Moon, and also Capricorn Rising (I think, I'm not totally knowledgeable about astrology)

💉 do you have tattoos and/or piercings

No tattoos (yet, I fully plan on getting some) and just single ear piercings. I'm not a huge fan of ear piercings (on myself) if I'm honest? Plenty of my friends and family get way more. The only other ones I've been considering are a nose stud and naval piercing.

📺 last show you watched

I think it was The Umbrella Academy? Season 4, incomplete, mostly cause I've seen some spoilers floating around and now I'm scared to finish it and be further disappointed by how it ends. Oh wait, I have been watching Jojo's Bizarre Adventures but I can't remember out of the two which was more recent. Still like early on in the first season of that, but I'm enjoying it.

🧟‍♀️ scariest thing that's happened to you

Hmm. Jokingly? Life. Or public speaking and confessing to crushes. Realistically? The lamest but most honest answer I can think of to say without going into my troubled childhood is self-injecting medication (prescribed and with instructions, don't worry, it wasn't anything that wasn't supposed to happen). I still get weird echoes of the pain in my thighs at the injection sites even though it's been almost a year since I went unmedicated. I used to majorly dread injection days, to the point where I made myself feel sicker than ever. I've now developed a phobia around needles which sucks since I still need regular blood testing. Even if I think about it now, I start feeling horribly sick and dissociate. Or, you know, learning to drive tended to kick my body into fight/flight/freeze. I fucking hate driving. Can we return to horseback as the main mode of travel? Or trains??

🍓 favourite food

How do I answer this?? I love food! Maybe chocolate? Waffles? Chocolate on waffles? Cold spanakopita? Pizza? Makaronopita/pastitsio? Aaaaaa all of the above. That's the best you're gonna get out of me.

🍊 favourite season?

Autumn!! Used to be summer because I really love the thunderstorms, but it's gotten waaay too hot where I now live for me to actually enjoy the season.

🍐 if you could make one character real, who would it be

Tough question, I love sooo many characters (I have long lists). Maybe Kell Maresh from the Shades of Magic series. I'd marry that guy. From Tokyo Debunker which you know me from? Either Sho or Tohma. Maybe Haru. Of the three though, I'd probably pick Sho.

[on-these-scorched-pages]

Author Interview: Ashley Godschild [Vacancies in Time]

Authors note: I know this isn't something I would typically post, but due to my Professor being a literal joke, and the fact that I had the chance to interview a great local author AND the fact that people deserve the chance to read my interview with her, it's getting posted here.

Check out the Vacancies in Time trilogy here.

Follow her on Instagram and TikTok.

For the sake of some sort of timeline, the interview was conducted on February 20th, 2024 and the write-up was completed on March 20th, 2024.

Introductory Questions

Q: Tell me a bit about yourself and your background as an author (name, age, etc).

A: My name is Ashley Godschild, I turn 25 in a week (which I’m kind of looking forward to because with age comes grace). I started writing in grade 4, we had a writing assignment to write four pages, and I wrote 12. We had an author come to class and she explained to us that she wrote as a career, and I knew immediately that was what I wanted to do with my life. After that, I wrote for one hour every day until I finished my first book at age 12. I showed my mom, and she kindly pointed out there were no dialogue tags and so many, just so many run-on sentences. Looking back on it now I can see the perfectionism I had because after hearing that I deleted the whole thing. Cause it was easier to start from the beginning than to go through and edit it.

At 16 I did have an agent who had seen my manuscript and wanted to publish. But I still don’t know why I said no. I’m not sure if it was God saying “It’s not the right time” or if it was me if it was a gut feeling of discernment of “this person is not going to do it for you”. I also was not doing great mentally and I think the pressure I put on myself mixed with the pressure that would come from other people would have been bad. I think my biggest complaint was that they hadn’t had any problem with my manuscript, it was just “Wow this is so good, I’m so impressed someone as young as you could have something as good as this”. I’m not one for flattery, and I appreciate encouragement, and I’m not great with criticism, but having absolutely zero feedback, absolutely zero thought on something that could make it better, just sounds like you’re not someone who is going to look out for my best interest, you’re just gonna look out for money and for what you could make from me. I consider myself someone who prioritizes integrity, and there's the fact that everything can get better. There is no such thing as perfection. You can get close to it, you can kind of on it, but you can’t tell me that at 16 this book I had written was perfect and ready to publish – like no, absolutely not. I never want to have to compromise my own story and what I’m trying to tell people for the sake of sales for this big publisher.

Q: Who or what inspired you to become an author, and how did you start your journey?

A: I feel like it’s a lot of little different things, and I actually can't remember a time when I didn’t want to be an author. I know for a fact that the first person who ever said “Oh, so you’re an author” was my fourth-grade teacher. I’ve always been a storyteller. Even as a three-year-old, I used to go up to the cashiers at Superstore and tell them my real parents had died so I could get suckers. But I honestly can’t think of a time when I didn’t tell stories. It was a very natural progression, and having a lot of people help me along the way to say “This is how to better it, how to funnel it, this is how it should go”. My Oma was also a huge part of that because she used to come over and read with us, so books were always very important to her – she wasn’t born speaking English, and so language and the ability to learn and education to her was just such a huge deal to her. And she loved reading. Until her death, she was still reading and still looking for the next great story. I think she was the first one to print off one of my books and she brought my book around to all of my family members at a family reunion and told them to read it. She was very much a support and an inspiration for that. And I would say my mom, too. My eldest sister had tried writing, but it wasn’t her dream. My mom had tried writing – which I didn’t know – and my Oma tried writing, and it was like all these different things, I felt, were in accumulation to me. It was like it all built up to me trying to pursue it and do it right. Ms. Gordey was also a huge inspiration because, at 16-17, you’re trying to figure out “Okay, Lord. If this is what you truly called me to, what the heck am I supposed to do with this? Where am I supposed to go with this?” I was struggling with personal life, and mental health and all this other stuff and at the end of grade 12, Ms. Gordey had written all of us a letter. And in it, she had said “I’m not worried about telling you to always keep writing because you’re a writer. It's oxygen to your lungs. That is who you are. But I will say that you aren’t a teen author, you’re not a developing author, you’re not an aspiring novelist, you are an author, And I can't wait to see where you go from here and to follow your career from here.” And even just having that unshakeable belief in me was mind-boggling. It means so much from someone outside of your family to say “you’ve got this.” I still have that letter.

Book Related Questions

Q: Can you give a brief overview of Vacancies in Time and its central themes?

A: It’s based on a dream I had about my younger sister, it is… It’s hard to do anything with it and summarize it because I genuinely feel like there’s nothing like it. As I said, I try hard to be humble and say it how it is, but I’ve struggled marketing this because what do you even say? Who is the audience for this? It’s based on a dream, and that in and of itself is a challenge – it's something only you have seen, something only you have thought, and trying to turn it into something other people want to read, it’s hard.

I would honestly say it’s a story about an older sister's love and a journey into adulthood and figuring out what that means, and independence. Because, everyone has to get to the point where they, not leave their family, but spread their wings. I think Emma never wanted to be the burden, she never wanted to be the person that kind of stuck out or made her family's life harder. So she tried to be the responsible one, to be the person that her sibling needed. And then comes along this complete curve ball that she has never even thought about, and suddenly this person, this thing, is requiring her to choose between her family and herself. And that’s never been something Emma has had to think about.

Central Themes: Love conquers all, is huge throughout the entire trilogy. Fighting fate, which I find ironic because I don’t believe in fate, destiny or soulmates. I am very cut-and-dry with that sort of thing. And the irony does not leave me that I wrote a trilogy based on fate and time travel – which are two things I hate. I don’t like writing it, reading it, or watching it. But I think I did a pretty good job. Time and the value of it is another huge theme. And, again, just the irony of that alongside everything that happened throughout publishing, where it’s just all summed up in a quote from my second book: “Time is the commodity we cannot make more of”. And in the sense that, you can make more money and material things, but you can’t create more time. It’s a huge theme through it all to say, what will you do with the time you have? What are your priorities with it? Walk by faith, not by sight. That, again, was a huge thing with the publishing journey of this series. I almost threw up when I felt like God was telling me to drain my savings and publish this – and I went to my family and told them, and no one told me I was crazy. Everyone told me that now was the time to do it. There were a lot of ups and downs throughout the entire thing, and it's reflected from my personal life in the books. When you have a calling, or that gut feeling, or that thing, you just have to go and run with it. In my Oma’s words: you just gotta give’r!

Q: What was the timeline for writing and publishing Vacancies in Time?

A: I planned the entire trilogy in 3 hours, from start to finish. At first, I didn’t want to write it, but I was persuaded by the comments I got on my TikTok to go through with writing it. I wrote book 1 within a month (started in July and finished by the end of the month), and it was close to one month for each book. Finished 3rd book in 21 days. It took just over a year to decide to publish and go through with it. It was between August 2022 and June 2023 to publish all 3.

I’m not someone who regrets things; I refuse to regret the things I have done because I don’t think it's helpful. But, in the future, I know that I didn’t give it the time and the energy that it deserved. And I stand by the fact that it’s a good story, in fact, I would argue a great story. However, I don’t necessarily think the writing and the editing portrays that as well as it should. And, I know the first book is difficult to get into – basing a book on a dream, it’s hard to set up, and it takes a lot of time to get into. The first book is boring, let's be honest. It hasabout 27 filler chapters, with a few chapters with big action in them that make you want to keep reading. Books two and three are fast – like every page, you are on it and you’re rushing through it. I would almost argue that book one is a different genre than the other two. Book one is more romance, and books two and three are more sci-fi.

Q: How did this idea come to you? Was there any pop culture that inspired it?

A: I’ve always had very vivid dreams about my younger sister. The dream was only the first book, from start to finish. Some of the things that are in the book didn’t necessarily happen in the dream, but everything that did happen in the dream went into the book. I remember picking up my sister, bringing her to the condo, her sleeping, the massive (iconic) windows, the neon lights, hearing the bang, looking at the museum, seeing the people inside the museum dead, making eye contact, and feeling the sudden heart-stopping dread and thinking “there's no way he can see me”, seeing and hearing the door of the condo opening and watching them come in. I don’t remember a lot within the timeframe of them being in the condo, just a lot of questions and weirdly invasive eye contact. And I very clearly remember the feeling of “I’m never going to see you again”, and the feeling of Darcy’s hand on my face. The weirdest part was the shift from myself to Bingley in the car, and seeing from like a third POV, and watching the conversation and witnessing the switch from “No, we’re leaving” to “this is something I’m going to fight for”, and then realizing that I wasn’t there when they got back. Right to the moment of eye contact, running to each other, reaching for one another and then nothing.

I always kinda say that I write books for myself, but I am happy that I gave in to the peer pressure to write it. My goal is always to get it out of my head, otherwise it takes up space. And the quote I always refer back to is by Maya Angelou, and it is “there is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you”.

Pop culture Influences: Pride and Prejudice had an inspiration on it, but I wouldn’t say that it’s a retelling of it. I do remember having those conversations about classical literature in my dream, and I really do love Pride and Prejudice, and I thought “If I’m going to write this book, then I might as well include some of the things I love”. I also would say, based on the time period, the TV series Loki and the TVA probably had some kind of bearing on the dream. Just knowing that I had watched it within 3 months before having the dream, it's very likely it was a subconscious inspiration.

Q: What were some of the challenges you faced while developing your characters?

A: This goes back to when I was saying that I wish I took more time. It's not that I don’t think the characters are well-rounded – I do think they are, and they’re very dimensional characters. But how am I, as a white woman who is 25 living in a northern, western country, supposed to properly represent all these different people, who have had these awful things happen to them? Like having someone who is black and was a slave, someone who is Chinese, someone who is Jewish. Writing these people who have these awful pieces of history they are representing and not being able to grasp that fully because I can’t. It doesn’t matter how much I try to put myself in their shoes, I can’t accurately and entirely represent their stories. Arguably, you can say that no one can because those things are so far removed, though we continue to see them crop up, and we see the effects of them. You don’t have people who have experienced it firsthand, anymore. But I do wish I had taken the time and will take the time in the future to look through and make sure that I am doing my best to tell stories that aren’t mine, that are humanity’s stories. So that was a big challenge – trying to make sure I didn’t whitewash my characters, and to make sure I respect the history that has been told as well as respecting the history that possibly hasn’t been told or represented.

Q: Family appears to be a key theme in the novel – how did or did not your family inspire some of Emma’s family in the book?

A: Avery was inspired/based on my 12-year-old sister, who is now 15 and it's very weird for me to think about that. She got to pick what Avery looked like, she insisted on the ferret, and she chose everything about Avery. So writing her and drawing inspiration from other events in life and trying to not give too much away but also at the same time share. Avery's journey with leukemia is not based on truth – I did have a sibling who almost died, and it definitely shook the family, there was a lot of fear and anxiety that comes with that, and there’s always the thought of trying to lower the amount of pressure on your family because this thing has happened. I wouldn’t say Mo is based on anyone – she is an archetype of a person, and I really just feel like I should put that on the record. I remember my Oma asking me if she was meant to be someone, and I was like “Nope, not at all.” It's funny because I wouldn’t say anyone else is heavily based on someone from my family, but all of them are an inspiration to it. Because no matter what you do, what you read, who you see, who you talk to, you're constantly drawing in that information. There were a couple of times reading back where I read something that I didn’t even remember putting into the book and it felt a little too revealing on my psyche and I decided to cut it out.

Q: How did your family react to A) the book being written and published, and B) to finding themselves written into the book (if they were)?

A: My family was very supportive, obviously they had been waiting for years for me to publish because I’d been doing it for ten years by this point. I had started a gofundme to cover bills and whatnot while I was in the process of publishing and they really showed up with that. Even that December they had given me a new laptop because mine had broken, and I had no idea about it and I was so heartbroken because that was the first Christmas I didn’t have gifts for anyone because I couldn’t afford it. They really showed up, time and time again. My mom and my roommate found out that I had published it a day early just to make sure everything was working, and they raced to see who could buy it first and then who would get it first. My roommate ended up reading it first, and that was super special to have people competing to read my work. My mom sent me a photo of a picture of my dad lying on our giant bean bag chair with his headphones on, reading on his Kindle. It was very sweet to see the way they showed up. There's so much doubt that happens when you’re writing and publishing, and having my Oma pass a month before the release date, it was super hard.

As for my sister, I don’t think she ever told me what she thought about Avery and if she liked the representation. I had gotten to surprise her because it’s partially dedicated to her, and I surprised her with that and she had no idea so she just started crying. She’s such a cute kid, she said she didn’t want anything else for Christmas except my book. So I got to surprise her with that and give her a signed copy. I’m very fortunate.

Q: What do you hope readers will take away from reading Vacancies in Time?

A: In context to the first book, I relate it to a verse in the bible that says to be open to inviting people into your home, because you will never know if you're feeding angels. It’s the idea of loving your neighbour the way they should be loved and never closing yourself off from showing the love of God, providing for your neighbour and inviting them to your table. I think that is something that Emma did very well, which is something I don’t always do super well. For Emma to just stop and relax in her faith and the certainty that she had that God would sort this out. She just let it happen and allowed the agents to make themselves at home in her apartment. It was very important to me that Agent Darcy never tried to placate her, never tried to comfort her or make up for her lack of social graces while he was talking about his history.

I think the biggest thing I want to be taken away from that is just to have compassion for people, to have a willingness to hear and be open to others' stories, and to be aware of how it impacts you. I think in terms of history and how people can argue so much about different historical events and what it means, I truly believe that history lies within the person telling it. That’s often the victors who want you to believe that they should be the victor, and to understand that sometimes not everything is what you see.

Always have an open mind and see people for more than what they appear to be. And also be willing to take a chance; I think that is a lot of what Emma was scared to do and Carter came in and told her “No, you have to take the chance”. I was fortunate enough to have people like that on this journey, and without them, I never would have taken this chance.

Q: Who is/was your favourite character to write, and why?

A: Carter. I really appreciate who he is, and I know that’s ironic because I wrote him. But I would say in so many ways he is everything I’m not. To just be so unapologetically himself – in the best and worst ways. He is a little off, thinking the moon landing was faked is… interesting. And I think people who are conspiracy theorists and question things get a bad rap. I have people in my life who think like that, and so it was interesting to explore that character and question “Who is he, what is he and why is he this way?” And I don’t think there's anything wrong with questioning, now I do sometimes think they can get a bit too intense over it, but to have a character who stood by his guns and is always willing to question everything and to seek the truth and not willing to take everything at face value. And on top of that all, he is an amazing friend to Emma. It shows more in the second and third books how smart and driven he is, even though he appears to be a dishevelled mess, he is who he is. And he's pretty great. And he’s got a special place in my heart because he’s such an amazing, supportive friend.

Q: Are there any particular scenes/moments that hold personal significance to you?

A: Chapter 19 You Make Me Feel So Young. It's this moment where Emma is really rushing to get things done. She’s watching everyone have a good time and dancing around her. But she’s also scared to join them; she needs to be responsible and it reminded me of a bible story. It’s the story of Mary and Martha – Martha is trying to be a good hostess while Jesus is speaking to his followers, and her sister Mary is just lying there just listening to Jesus. And the lesson from that is, you are always going to have the next job to do, and more people to take care of but you’re not always going to have this moment. I think even what Darcy was talking about when he said “I finally understand what it means to be young” and this idea of there is no responsibility, there's no deadline, and you just exist in your own world. And that’s not necessarily the best thing, but I think in a culture that emphasizes the hustle and the grind. And even myself, I place so many deadlines and expectations on myself and there's this constant need to do a full day of work and then come home and do more author stuff, because if I don’t do it now, then it’s not going to happen. To have those moments where you stop and just live in the moment without any of the distractions, it’s priceless.

So that chapter has a big significance to me. It’s not just because I love Frank Sinatra and I love that song - but because did Darcy recognized that Emma wanted to join them but wasn’t willing to. And also the fact that Darcy was willing to be vulnerable and share that part of himself and say “To me, youth has always been foolish. But with you, I feel young and I can be foolish with you.” And I think every girl has that dream of dancing around their apartment with someone, and I think having that moment and having that intimacy shown was nice. And just shows that you will find that person and that there is timeless love, and you can take a moment to breathe and absorb the moment and be with the people you love. I think it’s important to make space for those moments, otherwise life will pass you by.   

Q: Discuss the significance of the title of Vacancies in Time and how it shaped the book.

A: I had gotten the book planned, and I sat there trying to figure out what to call it. Based on the dream and the contents of the first book, you can't really use the metric for a science fiction title. You don’t want to give too much away, but you also want to hint at what’s in it. I knew I wanted something to do with time, and it just hit me – Vacancies in Time. And it works, and it makes sense because there are vacancies in time.

Q: Book covers play an integral role in attracting readers – how involved were you in the design process, did you have any specific concepts or themes you wanted to convey on the cover of Vacancies in Time? (Read in acknowledgements you made it on your own, on Canva)

A: In three hours, the day before the release. Once again, I don’t suggest the way I’ve done this, it was so not a good idea. I didn’t do the art myself, necessarily. Canva has a lot of artists that it pulls from, and they have to put on it if it is AI-generated. I feel very strongly about AI-generated things, especially art. But I found an artist who had a lot of Sci-fi kind of things – and the cover is nothing like the idea that I had, and still have. I would love to, in the future, republish and include a pronunciation guide, the cover I wanted at the very beginning, and all these different things.

Q: What was your concept for the cover?

A: On the front of the book is Emma looking out, from the POV of her bed, almost, looking out onto the street with the neon lights and everything. On the back cover, you see the outside of her building with her looking onto the street, and at the bottom corner, you see a head (who would be Darcy) looking up at her. In like an animation style.

I had someone lined up to do this kind of cover that I wanted but the timeline just didn’t work, and unfortunately, when I had talked to them it was the day my Oma died. So obviously things were derailed. I didn’t touch anything for two or three weeks, and I just didn’t have the time to make that cover happen. I’m happy with the cover now, I don’t love it necessarily, but I love it for what it is. The big thing for me was that, it is a science fiction novel, and I wanted it to convey that. The neon was important, but every single one of my books has an element that hints at something that happens in the book.

I’m not sure if you noticed, but on the back cover the rain is going upside down. And that kind of thing continues throughout all of the books.

Writing Process Questions

Q: What does your writing process look like? Do you follow a routine or have any rituals for when you’re writing?

A: Getting a full-time job has ruined the process that I had. But what has remained the same is that I open my laptop, and bring up my characterization sheets, my cheat sheet. And I bring up the manuscript – I just use Word. I know other people use Scrivener and other things, but I’m not fancy. I was 10 or 12 when I started, and I don’t like new things, so Word is where it’s at. When I was 20 I started doing novel outlines – so by the time I actually started writing it I already had every single chapter planned. I have, from start to finish, everything that is supposed to happen, chapter by chapter. I taught myself to be a plotter because I found it so much easier. And I would say, by doing this, I don’t struggle with writer's block anymore. There is occasionally the moment where I realize what I am writing just doesn’t fit anymore, but other than that I am never out of inspiration because it’s all written down.

I send myself notes on Messenger all the time, so I often check that before I start writing and add it to my sheets. With work, however, I have been trying to use what’s called the “Momentum Method” – the idea is you go to work, come home and immediately start writing or editing, and use that inspiration and motivation to get going. It doesn’t always work for me, because sometimes I find that I need like half an hour to decompress after work and get my brain settled before writing. I also have a walking pad, and I try to walk while I’m writing and editing – I haven’t been super great with that lately, just because I’ve been putting a lot of effort into the newsletter and getting it finished.

Q: Can you share a memorable moment from your writing journey that had a significant impact on your development as an author?

A: I can’t pinpoint one specific moment, because this journey has been a lot of highs and lows, and even in the lows I have found something to keep me going. I would say for publishing specifically, I had come across this interview with Leigh Bardugo, and she said “Your job is to make art when no one cares, that’s the battle”. Because as soon as you get the recognition, and you get the readers, everyone wants to praise you. It’s when you’re in the trenches with no readers or money, that’s when it matters most. Continuing to go forward is a skill you have to learn. I’ve always had that thought in my head, and it meant a lot to me to see a very well-known author, at one point, felt the same way and had the same doubts as myself. It was enough to push me forward and to publish the third book.

Q: Are there any specific authors or literary figures who have influenced your writing style? If so, in what ways?

A: The answer always goes back to every little thing is an inspiration. I would say Jane Austen is definitely someone who I aspired to be like. I think she always had a very personal way of telling stories, I feel like you always saw her in her novels. And, it is my hope (because I am planning on writing so many books) that I’m never predictable, but I do hope there is always a moment in every book I write where the reader goes, “Oh, this is Ashley”. I think Jane Austen does that very well.

I also really love C.S. Lewis – he is a huge inspiration of mine, in just the way he wrote books, how he wrote them, and who he wrote them for. I also like J.R.R. Tolkien for how descriptive he is, even though he spent three pages just talking about a blade of grass – I think that’s excessive, but I appreciate the way he could just paint the world for you. Leigh Bardugo, also, I just love the way she makes her characters. She does “found family” really well, and it's interesting because I would say so many of her characters aren’t really likable. Which sounds crazy, but it's like almost every single one of her characters has these massive flaws that are staring you in the face, so you almost have to question why you like them so much. But at the same time, that’s what makes you human – it’s your flaws. You can’t love someone without loving their flaws.

Q: What role does research play in your writing process, especially when tackling subjects that may require in-depth knowledge or understanding?

A: I try and do research, but there is a bit of previous knowledge because I took Wester-European AP, and history has always been very interesting to me. I remember in grade five learning about Greece and Athens, and the birth of democracy, and that has always had a place in my heart – history in general has always had a place in my heart. Mostly because it’s our story; they call it his-tory, but when you’re looking at history, you’re looking at the story of the world, of humans, and you can see where we’ve been and if you look hard enough you can see, in my opinion, where we’re going. I would say I gained a lot of knowledge from my education and my love of history, but then there was also a lot of research.

One of my biggest things while developing characters was figuring out what dictators am I going to use, who was going to be connected to each of these people, and what is it going to eventually lead to. Now, admittedly, and I won’t give too much detail, but one of the dictators I chose is just because I like them and learning about them. Obviously, they’re a dictator so they’re not the best but I think if any dictator was “good”, it would be this person. There was a lot of research, and there were times when I had to stop writing to look something up.

Q: How do you handle writer’s block or challenges in the creative process, and what strategies do you find most effective in overcoming them?

A: More often than not, in my experience, writer's block happens because there’s something wrong in the story. Whether that means you’re trying to force something, or because this idea you had no longer works and you’re not sure how to fix it, or if there’s something you left behind that needs to be brought in. Most of the time when I would get writer's block I would just go back and read it and find what was wrong. There have been times when I’ve deleted entire chapters and started over because something from however long ago caused things to not work. And even with using a novel outline, there have been times when I realized I’ve shot myself in the foot and I need to do it over again. I can admit that sometimes you have off days, but I’ve learned that you sometimes just need to force yourself to write – discipline doesn’t grow out of nothing, it's something you have to practice. But I also believe in taking a break, and that having a bad day can affect your writing. So going back and reading what you wrote on that bad day is definitely worthwhile because your mood does impact your writing and you might be putting something in that you don’t necessarily mean to put in.

While I do believe that your book is you and you should be able to do whatever you want with it, at the same time you’re not honoring the story if you’re basing your characters off people you know and killing them off because that person hurt you. You’re not honouring the story, or yourself, or the reader. That person may have existed to you through this character, but to everyone else, they exist in the book, separate from you and your life. Once you have people reading your novels, you have to acknowledge their interpretation might not be the right interpretation. Don’t get me wrong, you can think whatever you want about something that’s been written, but that doesn’t mean your interpretation is right.

Personal/Fun Questions

Q: Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice seems to be an influence on Vacancies in Time, can you elaborate on any inspiration drawn from it?

A: I think for every romance, people need to have something in common. And how do you find something in common between a black slave from the eighteen hundreds and a mostly white woman from the 2050’s? I was trying to find a common thread, and I think in the argument of “timeless love” and the idea of history being a form of storytelling, and having a thread that connects all of us – I don’t believe in soulmates – but I do believe that sometimes people are cut from the same cloth. It wasn’t a process of “how do I bring these two together” – I knew it had to be a connection and a shared experience, and I thought about what brought Darcy and everyone else together and it was this idea of wanting adventure and having this craving for the unusual. I think every reader has that craving; you might not be the bravest person but you do want a taste of a new experience – and that is what brought both Emma and Darcy to reading.

Pride and Prejudice is my favourite book, and I think because stories were what always connected me to people, I wanted to play with that idea in the book and play with the idea of “What is going to bring you all together and keep you together?”, and that’s how it turned out in the book.

Q: Religion is openly present in Vacancies in Time, how has your faith or religious background influenced the theme and messages you explored in the novel?

A: It influenced my writing in so many ways because God is so integral to who I am. I know for a fact I would not be alive if it wasn’t for him, and I never would have written and published if it wasn’t for him. Sometimes I struggle with saying the right thing and being understood by people because I often am not presenting myself well, or people will misconstrue what I am saying – which makes me relate to Darcy, in a way. But my writing is where I get to shine. And I believe that I can use my writing to accurately give people an idea of who I am, but also who God is and what he has done for me.

Q: If you could travel through space and time and meet anyone (fictional or real) where would you go and who would you meet?

A: I would probably go to the UK and meet C.S. Lewis – and I would probably try to convince him to come back to our time so he wouldn’t have to deal with the bombs and the war. On a more personal note, I would probably meet my Opa Morris – my Oma was married to Opa Morris before my current Opa, and I hear so much about him and I live his legacy every day. I just think to see where it all comes from would be very special. On the other hand, I might choose one of my ancestors from the other side of my family. I was raised with the belief that half of my family was indigenous, and there have been questions raised in recent years about whether or not that is true, so I would probably want to meet an ancestor from the other side of our family to figure out if it's true. It was something I used to be so proud of, and now there’s so much that has happened surrounding my ancestry – so I would like to get some answers about that.  

Q: What’s some advice you can give to emerging authors?

A: You need to genuinely understand that it’s not going to be easy, and it’s going to suck at times. Big time. There’s going to be times where you’re going to question yourself, you’re going to have other people question you. You’re going to have moments of shame and moments of excitement, and it’s a bit of a rollercoaster of questioning.

The other thing is that you should know what your reason is. I've said since I was 16 that I am writing because if my books change even just one person's life, that would be enough. If one person feels seen, if they identify with a character, if they get help because of something I write that would be enough for me. Reading was always an escape for me, so if I can create a safe space where someone can escape from the turmoil that is life – that’s enough for me. Just figure out what your reason is for writing, and stick by it – despite having bad reviews, or no reviews or when you’re having those moments of self-questioning.

Q: What’s next for you?

A:  I have two possible books that I can publish next – both are the start of a trilogy. I’m leaving it up to people to vote on through Google Forms because I genuinely don’t know which one to do next. One is a Werewolf-Hunter paranormal romance, kind of like Shadowhunters meets Vampire Academy, meets Twilight. The other one is about a group of young adults who create this group called “The Outcasts”, loosely based on Robin Hood, and they steal from the rich and they learn that this treasure they’ve read about is real and it’s hidden in this castle – and the leader decides they're going to get it, but for her, it’s not just business, it’s personal. I’m not sure which one I want to publish more, and part of me wants to publish both at the same time, but I know that’s crazy. So one of those two will pop up within the next… who knows.

I’m editing another book right now, and reverse outlining another book and rewriting that. My goal for this year was to shift my focus to becoming a better author – so I’ve gotten books about being an author, I didn’t know that books were supposed to have a three-act structure. I didn’t know about story framing or the eight-beat story. So I’ve been learning a lot about that, and learning about how to better my craft and refine it. I learned about the Writers Helping Writers series. So I’m trying to slow down and learn more and to build on the basics and get better as a writer.

[asachuu]

I’ve got a headache and I’ve partially sworn to both myself and another person I wouldn’t go over this, but…it just won’t let me rest, so I’m sorry to anyone the apology is due. I open my other abandoned socials once in my life, and the first thing I see is debates on this I didn’t even think would be possible, and there’s only so many days I can just bite my tongue.

Refer to the tags of this post for more context if you wish, but I’ll make this separate instead of a reblog in case it may reach more people.

Spoilers for phase 18 of the Fifteen manga below.

So, ah…let me just get the extremely cheap joke out of the way. Heaven forbid the Literary Stray Dogs fandom has to be faced with…oh dear goodness…literature…

If you’ll excuse that, I truly don’t wish to be anyhow outwardly hostile, but I don’t know what would be more fitting to say. In my former vague-ish post (tags excluded), I did say I initially thought this was pointless to go over, but I see that it’s inevitable— so, before I leave my two cents on this, as an absolutely shameless self-plug, since I won’t be going over any deeper Rimlaine-related context in this post to an extent I’d like to properly explain and elaborate on, I’d redirect any curious soul stumbling upon this to my essay about the pair, which will explain a lot more as to why I find any of this worth my time and why I will speak of them in a rather uncharitable manner.

I believe the above is a self-explanatory warning as to the fact that despite talking about a certain panel from the Fifteen manga I’ve seen a rather questionable amount of people use as backing for their ship, I will be doing the absolute opposite, and if that’s not what you want to read or hear, I’d suggest leaving this post be. As much as I mostly try to come from a place of understanding, I don’t think you’ll find much of it in this post, both because I’m not feeling well at the moment and I’ve already explained my strongly held stance in softer terms before, linked above. As always, none of this is personally directed at anybody whatsoever, but that doesn’t mean that some simply wouldn’t want to read a slightly harsher analysis of what could perhaps be their comfort ship for any personal reason they may have, to which I say, I very much suggest not hate-reading this and clicking off, please always look after yourself.

So…while I was going to spare myself a longer post due to my physical state, you best believe me that I will do anything in my power to make it not hinder me, just so I can write this whole thing properly this time around. Without further ado, here is the panel/page I’ll be referring to from now on.

All translation credits go to DarkestJay868 on Twitter.

I think I have to start this off by saying that if this was a different story, a different situation, different inspiration and different characters to match, I would understand the fandom’s reaction. While I’m someone who’s far from shipping characters in most media I consume, I only have one OTP across everything I’d ever engaged with and can’t think of another ship I like from the top of my head, I do understand if people see two characters interact with each other in one way or another, perhaps one rather close way or another, and jump to shipping them for their personal use or just for the sake of it. Ultimately, there is absolutely no point in trying to go over why, because it harms absolutely no one, and these are all fictional characters anyway, it’s not as if we’re intruding on real people’s personal relationships doing any of this.

I also understand that not only is it a well-known fact that MLM ships are far more popular in fandoms than any other, but also, when two characters have a dialogue/thought process/etc. of the nature you can read above, it comes as no surprise that people would like to spin their own narrative on it, and I’d say that’s usually more than fine, go for it, have fun— except in this particular case, I’m astounded. Generally, at this point, I cannot tell whether Rimlaine is a ship born of the indomitable human spirit that won’t be swayed by quite deeply serious topics this pairing is outright created from and exists because of, or one that won’t falter even while not only explicitly written words, but also graphic depictions show exactly what scenario is being presented and it’s simply not the one so many in this community have imagined, but in the case of this scene, it would be downright nonsensical to claim that some form of active dedication is not being used to back the claims I’ve seen going around.

I will be providing no specific examples, as what they all boil down to in various different ways is speaking of the lower panel as some form of canonical confirmation of Arthur and Paul’s closeness, be it in a platonic or romantic way, and believe me when I say this— not a single part of my counterargument will have to do with the thought of one hand on a shoulder(?) meaning nothing, because trust me, in fandoms, I can’t say it’s not ordinary.

You see, out of any and all context, I’d find it amusing, but the simple fact of the matter is, this panel:

is not out of context,

is not canon, even,

has a very real chance of depicting a character’s imagination based on the very next panel, which is this:

And this is about the panel only— don’t worry, I will remind everyone the origins of Rimlaine by the end of this post as well.

I cannot believe I’m sitting here saying this while bearing in mind that my desired audience are people who have read the Fifteen manga at the very least, and while I insist on it being anything but a sufficient adaptation of the original novel, this particular scene is one I did praise for how it was depicted. Nevertheless, this scene is a third-person recollection of Arthur’s memories, and while it is both written and drawn for us all to see, “(…) at least, that’s how one of them felt” is a line directly quoting the original novel, being quite clear, straightforward and explicit confirmation that these were, in fact, not mutual feelings for them both, those feelings also being explicitly stated— their partnership, trust, friendship and whatnot was something only Arthur himself believed, all of which you may find black on white in the Fifteen novel, and surprisingly, even in the very manga people are using images from to speak of Rimlaine as if it were a canonical ship now, often based on this one panel.

In addition to that, this doesn’t only apply to these panels, but for the whole manga and any other adaptation of a source material— it is not the original canon. Fifteen adaptations never fail to prove this point on a regular basis, so I believe this shouldn’t be something difficult to grasp. The same, naturally, goes for this specific panel— nowhere in the original novel itself does it imply any kind of mutual closeness between the two partners whatsoever, in fact, it proves the exact opposite time and time again, and this panel is ultimately a creative liberty taken by the artist. In my personal opinion, however, I don’t have a problem with it in this case, given both how much it emphasizes Arthur’s point of view and the very obvious effect the next panel has on it— very directly showing that indeed, this was only a part of his imagination, or so would make the absolute most sense to me, but it seems that kind of “deeper meaning”, which is nowhere near deep or complicated to understand from the given material in any way, is just…lost on this fandom?

Might I also add that it makes no sense in canon, either— even if it was something signed off by Asagiri-san himself, I’d raise an eyebrow, because there is nothing in any of the media Arthur and Paul appear in that implies Paul would be the one to be close to Arthur and not the other way around, yet that’s exactly what’s drawn in said panel. It is very explicitly stated canonical information that Paul hated Arthur at the time, especially before their final mission together, and I could go further here, onwards to addressing some rather far-fetched claims of him somehow always repressing his true feelings he held for Arthur the whole time because he “felt a bit guilty for pulling the trigger” despite both the entire character arc for Paul being intended to culminate in his sudden genuine regret at the very end AND the fact that his continuous total lack of remorse or any shred of grief for his late partner is constantly spoonfed to the reader, but I’m here for one panel only. And one panel is now damn near enough to make me write another essay.

It’s not even as though Rimlaine is canonically a more ambiguous relationship up to the reader’s interpretation— both Fifteen and Stormbringer are, at least to me, very clear in conveying the message that if the feeling of affection, be it platonic, romantic or any other, is present anywhere between these two, it’s from Arthur towards Paul, and it’s entirely unrequited. Their whole story revolves around it, I’ve almost typed it out word for word in my essay if no one would be up to reading any of the necessary passages in the novels, the whole point lay in Arthur’s genuine care and affection towards his partner which is never returned or anyhow acknowledged and appreciated, that of which canonically deeply affects the former throughout his whole life and beyond, but at this point, I’m willing to bet that even if a hypothetical light novel centered around Arthur and Paul out there actually started with the words “this is a story of very obvious unrequited love and a toxic/abusive relationship that’s practically impossible to interpret in any other way”, I’d once again find myself in a spot where I’m giving far too much credence and leniency towards various arguments as to why said disclaimer is somehow wrong.

I promised one more thing as I finish this up, reminding you all the origins of Rimlaine, and why exactly does this all probably read like I’m rather irritated about some mischaracterization that doesn’t have any further impact beyond a fictional work, because that’s not the case. If it were, I’d care far less, the same way I don’t write lengthy paragraphs about Soukoku or any other ship I believe to not be anyhow healthy whatsoever, even though I do actually enjoy one character out of them both.

I could do my third absolutely shameless self-advertisement and refer to part 4 of my essay, but that’s only for further details and clarification, if anyone wanted it. What I’ll say next is something I don’t want hidden somewhere in thousands of words for the deeply curious willing to tread through them, I very much want this to be common knowledge in this fandom, regardless of whether it will deter people from ignoring absolutely all canon, misinterpreting both characters and entire story arcs in rather impressive ways at times to fit their own ship, or just rallying to support it. The choice is up to you, but keep this in mind:

BSD Arthur Rimbaud and Paul Verlaine are, in fact, based on two real-life poets, which is made clear beyond merely their names— their characters, abilities, partially personalities and even aspects of their stories are heavily and directly inspired by them. If you wish to claim their real-life affair as something Asagiri-san has obviously heard of and thus must have kept in mind, meaning BSD Rimlaine is either canonical or just somehow healthy, fine, something that “comes naturally” under these circumstances in general, I don’t want to hear you forgetting that this affair was between an abused 16-year-old and a homicidal 26-year-old. That’s the inspiration— real-life abuse, and not only that, abuse of a minor, AND not only that, due to the fact that I’ve not placed any trigger warnings above, I will not go into any details, but it’s nothing short of a horrific story that never received a good end to it.

That is why I insist on this so much, because there is only a tiny handful of very specific good-faith reasons I could possibly think of for practically just supporting the BSD ship. I do hate phrasing the sentence that way, but “support” is the closest word I can use here for the washing away of information, spreading total mischaracterization, and overall just romanticizing any part of this without any care for its origins or true nature, which can be one of two things— or both— to you. A real-life tragedy, or a very clear story of an unhealthy, possibly abusive relationship in BSD.

I know that, in my essay, I said I understand why people might long for such ships and so on, but perhaps I’m just stubbornly typing this in blinding physical pain that obstructs my senses from being able to return to that train of thought or all I’ve written above renders it nonsense even to myself, the original author, because right now, having said all this, I can’t say I’d understand it with all this information provided. The inspiration is a story incredibly sorrowful, dark and truly harrowing, the BSD counterpart couldn’t be more explicit about how extremely one-sided and unhealthy Arthur and Paul’s relationship is, and yet, I feel as though it really won’t matter in the end, because if I’m writing all this over an interpretation of one single panel I can only describe as completely out of left field, which is quite literally directly disputed by the next panel following it, is this really a matter of knowing all the necessary context and information, or am I unknowingly describing something that’s actually common knowledge?

Anyhow, I would perhaps go on, but sadly, I’m left with no choice but to end this abruptly. I…hope this panel will never haunt me again.

[outrunningthedark]

So what exactly the point of cemetery scene? Just to show us ‘hey look it’s the first time they’re talking about a LI and not about breaking up, but instead waxing poetics about them, this one IS special’, ‘isn’t that nice these 2 straight bros having a heart to heart about a woman one met 2 seconds ago’? Lollollol.

Okay. I know people are still reeling, but I'm gonna be serious about it. I've thought about this, and maybe my interpretation isn't what Kristen (and Taylor, who wrote the script) was going for - maybe we never know because Kristen never has to speak on it - but given where the story ended up, I think fandom focused a little too long on the "wrong thing", and it's not the fault of our fandom. It's the show (once again) not setting up a clear path for the audience to get from Point A to Point B. Eddie: *is the exasperated bestie who can't believe Buck fell for a girl from a call again* so naturally, fandom took his disbelief as a sign that things weren't gonna work out by the end (and ftr, I was right there with everyone else) Also Eddie: *makes a reference to Buck loving to be the guy with the answers after Buck says Natalia had questions about the lightning strike so they met up* Buck: "No. I'm serious." So right there. Right there in that moment. He's saying he didn't go on the date with her for an ego boost, nor is it something he wants to joke about. Buck: "There's something...different about her. I-I feel like she sees me, you know? Like she-she really sees me for who I am and what I've been through. I think she might even see more in me than I see in myself." This statement allowed Eddie to acknowledge that Buck hasn't been the same since the accident, "but how could you be?" and Buck, doing what we've come to expect as Eddie *is* his best friend in canon, admits that he isn't sure how to act, because he feels different, but he also worries that he has to be "the same old Buck mostly for the sake of everyone else." Eddie: "You don't have to be anything for anybody. And no one is ever the same from one day to the next." This? This can be (and has been) interpreted in one of two ways: 1. It's romantic because Eddie *sees* Buck for who he is. 2. It's Eddie being a supportive bestie, knowing Buck could use the reassurance that there's nothing wrong with being himself, much like he had to make Buck realize his life has value back in that hospital room. But. If you still think of the will scene as romantic, you're gonna have a hard time NOT viewing that comment the same way because it's similar in theme. And then the convo closed out with Buck explaining that he knows he cheated death and that he has to make the most of every single moment because "From here on out...it's all a gift." Now, you're probably reading all these words like "is there a message I'm missing here?" because I'm saying a lot, I'm sorry asdfghjkl Natalia? Not actually the point of the conversation. Yes, it's "different" with her and we probably should have at least let that linger instead of dwelling on Eddie's sarcasm, but Natalia is what got Eddie to bring up the changes in Buck post-lightning strike, which then encouraged Buck to be open about the mental/emotional toll and how his outlook on life is evolving. She was the conduit. Again. This is one scene where I can't/won't be like "How did you get that from THAT?" because there was quite a bit packed in three minutes and when you're viewing things through a certain lens certain moments will stick with you more than others, so like, yes, Eddie's response was amusing because Ryan knew how to make it amusing, but. There was a whole ass heart-to-heart going on right after that about Buck and his journey. I've seen some people ask "what the point of the happiness convention was" because Buck didn't have his "I get it now" moment (that people wanted to be about the Buckley-DIaz fam), but I just gotta wonder... ....what else would you call Buck having his own "Tomorrow isn't promised to anyone" realization? You know what he "gets"? That he actually deserves to live. That he wants to live. Not for anyone in the firefam. For himself.

[coowayeoo]

The Person I Love Most

Chap 1

You were born a human but due to your spiritual pressure being so immense the power took you out in other words killed you.From what you remember your parents died when you were young and so your grandparents took care of you.but they were already old so you did your best to provide for them but they happened to die one night.

“I do not know but I’ve been seeing and hearing things in my head.I’d like to think of it in a positive way but when I lose my consciousness at some point you know it’s a bad thing”.that’s what you told your friend a few years ago.but he’s answer shocked you a lot “I read somewhere that when you hear and see things or even dream stuff that seem real you will die a death so bad that you wish you’d killed yourself a long time ago”he said. You were shocked but he laughed it off saying it was a joke but it didn’t seem that way to you it didn’t seem like he read it off some book.

Present time

You were walking down the street when you saw a big mountain that leads you to a beautiful sight of course you couldn’t just ignore it.you just stared at it and your mind wandered off thinking if you wanted to become a shinigami.In order to find answers to everything you should become a shinigami and sneak your way into things.while thinking someone tapped you on the shoulders it was a man with long white hair wearing a shinigami robe with a white on top.

“Hi I don’t seem to recognize you what are you doing up here”he smiled gently as he said that.you were very shocked and surprised what is he doing in such a place doesn’t he have duties to tend to.”I’m enjoying the view up here as you see”you slightly bowed.he looked very tired as if he were sick “I didn’t know people still had time to enjoy nature”he said.

“My name is Y/N I’m not yet a shinigami so maybe in the future I can introduce myself to you as a squad member”you said.he looked very happy and ecstatic by your introduction.

”my name is ukitake Jushiro a shinigami and captain of squad 13 nice to meet you”.

Before you knew it you were talking comfortably to a captain and these man and having a normal conversation with him the fact that he was captain completely disappeared.it was dark by the time you both realized that you guys have been talking the whole time.”i had fun speaking with you today it was great I was a bit down today but I’m grateful to you”he said nervously.

“It must be troublesome though you missed out on a lot today I’m sure”you said.you wanted to ask him if becoming a shinigami was worth it but he beat you to it.”by the way if your thinking of becoming a shinigami shouldn’t you enter the academy”he said “I would but that takes a lot of years I already know it all”you respond “you could always skip if you pass everything”that was true you thought to yourself “I’ll think about it”you said he nodded and smiled “see you later” you smiled “yes I will”.

On your way back you don’t know but you wanted to see him again the captain of squad 13.you lived with your aunt who provided for you by owning a small restaurant.

”perhaps I should go there from now on”you said to yourself. “Go where you’re gonna go where”you yelled a little “nowhere why did you scare me like that”. “I was just interested in where you were going you know I want you to get married”she said.marriage was something your aunt wanted for you well she wasn’t your real aunt but she raised you.”aunty do you think I can enroll into the academy I’m quite interested” you said. She looked at you very carefully “if you say so I’m only letting you because you’re interested and you’re not putting your life on the line”. You thanked her and hugged her so long as you had her nothing would be able to make you unhappy.

________________________________________

These is a story I want to continue I will be following a schedule for when I will be posting. I’ll set it up by the next chapter so please show it lots of love I’ll also post it on Ao3 soon.Any recommendations or scenarios will be accepted so long as they’re good.thank you ❤️❤️❤️

[suugrbunz]

hi girly!!

1. love love your stuff

2. hope you’re doing well fr

3. could i pls request a bob ship?

appearance wise i’m 5’5 with an average build. ngl i’m a little heavy on the top iykwim so my back always hurts fr. LOL anyways i have blue/green eyes and brown hair that has like goldfish highlights in the sun. i’m half asian half white so do with that what you will. i’m pretty pale honestly oh and my hair is long, like almost to my butt long. id like to think i have a nice smile lol and i love making a pouty face, it’s just so fun.

personality wise i’m an ENFP-T so i’m naturally extroverted and outgoing. i make friends wherever i go and i’m a great people person. i can hold conversations with really anyone and people always tell me i’m very mature and good with adults and older people. i’m also a 2w3 so i tend to be a bit of a people pleaser. i naturally am drawn to leadership positions and taking charge but when i do i often over extend myself trying to accommodate everyone and their every need. i am a generally funny person. sometimes i make a joke that goes too far but i love making others laugh. i also am always complimenting people. i can be insecure myself but i love making others feel good.

i can get into a mood very easily tho. i do my best to hide it but i am very busy so i am not always the greatest in the morning and if i spend too much time around certain people i get cranky. i don’t snap nearly as much as i used too but my friends can tell when something’s off. i hate getting in those moods where im sulking but it happens sometimes. usually after some joking around or spending time with other people i snap out of it. what can i say im stubborn.

i love being involved in school. student council, SPIRIT WEEK, choir, clubs— all that jazz. i’m a pretty good student yk like i have a good rep at school and am pretty well known. i am also a theater kid. i know im sorry. i have been singing for a really long time and it’s like my thing.

i love you sing, dance, act, read, write, listen to music, shop, and spend time with people. my love language is for sure quality time but i do love words of affirmation. i often get called an “old soul” because i am very sentimental with old school values and i am drawn to anything 40s-90s. i am a die hard 80s music and movie fan and my friends think it’s funny im so obsessed with the classics (if you couldnt tell i am a history and english nerd, my close friend calls me her “favorite history buff”) but yeah i love spending time with others. me and my dad bond over watching movies together and listening to music and you bet im the life of the party wherever i go. always the first to do or initiate something, jumping onto the dance floor first and being the last too leave — i don’t like missing out so i take all the chances i can.

anyways i hope that’s enough info and i’m sorry if that’s too much or i rambled. honestly id be grateful if you even read up to this point. if you get a chance to write a ship i would really appreciate it but if not i totally understand!! no pressure whatsoever. thank you bestie boo :)💛💛

I've not felt quite that happy in the past week for numerous reasons. I think with time I'll be fine. Dumb memories, yknow? I know what you mean I'm heavy on top as well lmao. I like the way you speak. You seem really exciting. Thanks for the request

here's your ship!! (🚢)

꒰ I ship you with . . . Floyd Talbert ৎ୭ ꒱

A mutual friend decided to hold a party that was themed to a 1950s sock hop. Dancing to 1950s music was an ideal situation for you especially with the fashion you'd dawn. It seems absolutely perfect, right?

In the corner of the dance hall, he kept glancing at your. Sure, he could probably dance with anyone he'd want to but he had formed a soft spot for you. Even if he didn't know you. Something about your energy was so lovely.

He fell from the start, something about you was... Well, he couldn't put his finger on it but he knew you two were meant to have a relationship... Even if he has some red flags (he comes off a bit player-ish but it's ok)

Your first date is shortly after your first meeting; The way you two met was romantic and by the end of the night had been obviously flirting. So, he asked for your number and when it'd be best to call you.

You two ended up planning the date at the local mall; There's an arcade and theatre nearby, plus mall food. So you two can window shop, go play games, or maybe watch a movie. Maybe all of the above. It seems quite wholesome.

Floyd kissed you goodnight, it wasn't on the lips. That'd be too much at a far too quick rate. He kissed your forehead and for a moment you saw him blush. It's been quite clear he isn't shy, but hey, he's got a soft spot for you. And he can't hide blush.

Your second first kiss— aka your real first kiss...

You initiated it. You gave his lips a quick peck at the end of one of your dates. He was awestruck by the feelings that fluttered around his stomach. You were everything he wanted to fall in love with. You're the measure of his dreams.

The song that represents you two is ; I Saw Her Standing There by The Beatles (pretty cute for you two <3)

[mabeysomeclasspecting]

beans i just came across this blog and its pretty fuckin sick!! i'm super super interested in classpects but i've never been able to pin down my own, so i figured i'd send something in! 8D what are your interests/hobbies? i'm sort of all over the place. i take on interests randomly, picking things up and dropping them just a quickly. mainly i just collect miscellaneous knowledge about anything and everything. i like learning random shit and i'll go down random rabbit holes for hours and hours at a time. i have favorites, though - specifically zoology, marine biology, cultural and biological anthropology, paleontology, and ancient history. within those i have even more specific niches that i enjoy, like deep sea invertebrates and early hominids. the weirder something is, the more i like to learn about it. i have an affection for the bizarre. i also have normal people hobbies, mostly art. i've been drawing for most of my life and it's something that i really enjoy. something that i enjoy just as much is writing, and i think i'm probably better at that. i also love everything related to music, although i'm not super great with any instruments. i have a long history of making up stories for potential comics/novels/etc and fleshing them out, only to never do anything with them.

i also enjoy creating things and consuming things related to whatever media i've latched onto. right now, it's homestuck.

how do you see yourself? that's sort of a hard question. i have really severe identity problems, and i always have, to the point where i think i might have some kind of dissociative issue. i have issues with myself and how i feel about things, but i usually just try not to think or talk about it, because it makes things easier. i've found myself very hard to understand, but i try to know myself well enough to know the source of my problems so i can solve them. i know myself well enough to deal with myself. overall, i just think i'm some guy. i don't have particularly bad self esteem, nor am i particularly narcissistic (i think). i am, however, very hard on myself, and can be destructively perfectionistic. how do others see you? from what i can gather, i can be disconcerting to people. i say and do things that people don't get, i make jokes that people don't seem to get, and something about my general demeanor seems to throw people off. i've been informed that i can come across as narcissistic because of my tendency to A. use reverse self-deprecation humor (i.e saying i'm the best at something) and B. correct people incredibly frequently. i speak with a very even tone, bordering on deadpan, and it's hard to tell when i'm being sarcastic, so my jokes are often taken seriously. i also just have a weird sense of humor that doesn't bode well with some people, i guess. besides that, i have a distinctive way of speaking that tends to throw people off-kilter. at my school, i'm known to be two things - intelligent and very mentally-ill. that's most of what informs people's view on me. i'd imagine strangers see me a bit differently, because i am naturally almost freakishly polite to people i don't know. but i know the most about the people i go to school with.

but i try to be unassuming and not to cause any problems. i'm pretty passive, generally speaking, and i take things as they come without much issue. i go out of my way to be nice and help strangers when i can, but other than that, i don't usually talk to people i don't know. i'm kind of introverted and very awkward.

however, because of my habit to bottle up my emotions, i can be made to snap very hard when provoked, entering basically a blind rage. when i'm in a fit of anger, i can be incredibly verbally aggressive, and i will usually make a genuine attempt to hurt the feelings of/be an asshole to the person i'm angry at.

how do you interact with your friends? i don't like being serious in group conversations, or with the vast majority of people, so i'm something of a jester to most of my friends. there are very few times and situations where my true feelings, untainted by jokes and irony, get to leak through and i'll have an honest conversation. even rarer is any displays of vulnerability on my part, as that's something that makes me deeply uncomfortable. my friends are the only people who get to see the extent of my bizarre sense of humor, and will get subjected to it on the reg.

any kind of emotional vulnerability scares the fucking beans out of me, and i do not like being genuine. i cover all of my truths and traumas in seven layers of jokes and apathy and irony so no one realizes how much it actually hurts me, and so i can talk about it without being reminded of how much it hurts. yknow, stridercore.

i'll also express my opinions on people and things to my friends, which i usually don't do unless in a neutered way. i can come across as a little two-faced because of the fact that i act cordial to everyone, including people i really don't like, and have a habit of (for lack of a better word) hating on.

i care about everyone, but i care about my friends a lot. i'll offer to help them in any way i can, if there's anything i can do. i'm the friend who always pays for their friends when going out to eat. i like doing things for the people i care about. sometimes my insistence on helping comes across as smothering, and i can get kind of nosy sometimes, both of which i can acknowledge as flaws of mine.

unfortunately, whenever i'm emotionally distressed or just stressed in any way, i'll start isolating from my friends because of how much my negative emotions drain my social battery. i also have a tendency to get so absorbed in my own activities and projects that i ignore most stuff going on, so i can go long periods without saying much to my friends.

what's important to you? even though i pride myself on caring about others, at the end of the day, i care the most about staying alive and well, and staying sane. i have been severely mentally ill for most of my life, and i've been many horrifically low points. i began the process of recovery pretty recently, and ever since, i've developed a fear of relapsing into my old mental state and something horrible happening. all i want, at the end of the day - is to stay alive, keep my mind, and be as happy as i can in the world i live in.

describe the ideal you, what kind of person do you strive to be? someone who can make people happy. i love making people happy, i really really do. i'd want to grow into a stable person with an interesting life, sure, but above all else - i want to be someone who matters to people. i want to be a positive part of someone's life. that's mostly it. if i could do that, i'd be happy.

sorry for how horribly long this is, i'm fucking terribly long-winded. have a great day!! sign off - 8)

Hello! I'm glad you like my stuff :)

Aspects: Life, Doom, Time

Classes: Knight, Sylph, Heir

In order, I'd say you're either a Knight of Life, Sylph of Doom, or Heir of Time! Plenty of options for you to play around with, so hopefully one one them feels right

Hope this helps!

[williamrikers]

I debated whether to send this but I think someone should say it. So about your edited subtitles: don't you think it's really entitled to do this when you can't even understand the original dialogue? And to make editorial decisions in the way characters adress each other, greatly impacting characterization? This is not a translation anymore, or a localization, you're falsifying dialogue to suit your own personal interpretation. If you change what a character calls their dad because YOU think they'd be more formal, you're changing characterization. If you have a character adressed with a pet name instead of their name and title, you're changing the entire setting.

This is a transformative work at this point, but you're presenting it as a translation. It seems pretty arrogant to me to act like you're just correcting mistakes or making it more "natural," and it feels in bad taste to treat a production from a country that is not your own like that.

I'm only on anon because I don't want to start drama here. Please consider that someone else already brought up in the comments that you didn't even run this by a native speaker, so I don't think I'm the only one who feels weird about this. I hope you'll think about my criticism even if it seems harsh, but that's only because I feel that this is a really important issue.

hi anon, thank you for your message. i completely understand your concerns and where you're coming from, and believe me, i've asked myself all of these questions before uploading the subtitles for other people to use.

so, to address these issues:

first of all, you are completely right, these subtitles have not been vetted by a native speaker. i would be utterly THRILLED if someone volunteered to do that! if you know anyone who might like to proofread 14 hours' worth of subtitles, please send them my way!

however, and i think this is the big point of contention here, yes, these subtitles are in fact a bit of a transformative work. AS ARE ALL TRANSLATIONS ALL THE TIME. it is impossible to directly translate from any language into another. there will always be details lost, and interpretations made because no two languages work the same. i have been very clear and upfront about the fact that these are not word-for-word translations and that i took some creative liberties. i even included a readmore file with the download to make sure that anyone who's downloading these subs, including people who don't have a tumblr account, know exactly what they're getting. anyone who doesn't like what i did can just ignore these subtitles and move on with their life. i'm not hacking people's computers to make them use my subs.

about "khun nu" (which i think you're referring to when you say pet name?): this is actually a case of me making the translation much more like the original. they do call him khun nu all the time in the original (which is very easy to hear even if you don't speak a word of thai). khun nu is actually quite a common form of address as i've found, several other shows use it as well (for example my school president and never let me go). "nu" itself is a term of endearment, but "khun nu" is a bit more fickle and extremely hard to translate. i've seen it translated as "young master" several times now, but that doesn't really fit for tankhun imo. so i left it as-is.

this whole thing was a labor of love for me and did my best to do this show justice. when i say that kinnporsche changed my life, i'm not joking. however, if you don't like me, my approach to this translation, or the choices i made, that's completely fine. you can just ignore the fact that these subtitles exist and move on with your life. you could, in fact, make your own subs if you wanted to. editing srt files is extremely easy and can be quite fun!

wishing you all the best 😘

[anvoo]

Pain. Cost of change and progress. Cost of inaction.

I recently read an article on LinkedIn, and for certain reasons, it really spoke to me at that moment.

Guess it shouldn't come as a surprise, since most of the points hit really close to home. I was hurting.

No progress without pain. I read something similar to this sometime early in December, and I think a part of me internalized it. I wanted to find a reason, a meaning as to why I was hurting back then. The breakup, the sudden loss of my only source of validation, reassurance, and positive feelings in the form of my partner, the realization of my own character and person; all of that hurt me immensely. I needed a "why" to bear it, I wanted an answer to soothe me in that moment. It was, progress. It was a change, a marking point for me. I did learn and grow from it, albeit the change and decision itself didn't come from me, but I accepted it nonetheless. No regrets, and honestly thankful.

But as the pain subsides, so did my motivation and willingness to change and progress. I sought meaning in the suffering and got complacent as it goes away.

Now, a while after that, I find myself not too far off from my original position, having drifted down the current just a little bit. And this is where it hits me. I remember all the things I said and wanted for myself. I remember being in love with my potential, daydreaming about the days-not-too-far-off. But that's where it ends. I'm still stuck in that cycle of frustration, failure, defeat, self-pity, and emotional regulation,... By doing nothing, I am setting myself up for future frustrations and regret; I'm not honoring my own potential; I'm betraying the belief I have in myself, and the belief my loved ones have in me.

I want to change. I want to prove that I want to change. I want to be the best I can be.

I have a bad habit of taking in too much information, up to the point of me not really being sure what's what. Read, read, read... Consume, consume, consume,...

"Be kind to yourself"; "Take as much time as you need"; "Mental health comes first";...

I'm not saying these are bad advices, but I tend to twist words around, rationalize and find loopholes in order to procrastinate, avoid pain, and stay in my comfort zone. Honestly, what would be good for me right now is probably some good ol' fashioned Asian-Tiger-Parenting XD

But jokes aside, I don't want to stay in one place anymore.

Too many people fall in love with potential but fail to honor the process.

I fell madly in love with my potential. Infatuated, obsessed, love-struck,... all of that. But that's not enough for me. I want it to be a reality. Here's to no more daydreaming, and baseless hopes.

I don't enjoy pain. I never did. Ever since I was a kid, I was always afraid of it. I would much rather wait till my tooth fall off by itself, instead of actually pulling it off. I would keep a band-aid on for weeks, I would avoid all things that could cause me pain or discomfort. Some make sense, but some robbed me of potentially fun and rewarding experiences, like going up a mountain, or meeting interesting people, or becoming incredibly jacked.

It's understandable, and human nature almost, to avoid pain and dislike being uncomfortable, but nowadays, or at least in my case, through pains and through discomforts is how I'll be able to move forward, and progress. It's like resistance training, and that includes also actual resistance training xD

I welcome pain. I want it. I expect it. It hurts, and it's uncomfortable, but it's a sign that I am trying to do better, and that brings more pleasure and happiness than anything I could possibly imagine.

A final note for myself:

Trust the process.

While you may feel like you are not moving as fast as you would like, you must understand that what is being forged in you will empower you to leave a legacy that speaks beyond your lifetime. Stop worrying about how fast your life is moving and instead focus on how fruitful your life is becoming. Progress is not about speed but significance.

[goleb]

Have you ever thought up a DHMIS fairy tale AU, or something in the realm of fantasy? For the former, I’m not sure there’s many fairy tales focusing on good parental relationships…but there’s plenty of potential for Fluffybird!

Y'know, funny thing is when I started writing up an answer to this ask, the first class I had the next day had a test revision entirely themed around fairy tales. Ain't that a coincidence? My life's full of those. Also that was on Monday, I'm so sorry, I've been way too busy lately ): 

Certainly, I've thought up plenty of things over these Royful years, fantasy-esque ones included. And I'll probably only remember half of them after I already hit post. Some of them, granted, still only concepts and not-yet-developed ideas, but I like to put a lot of care into those things and that's why it takes me years to get them done, you know. But they'll all get their time to shine, eventually, when something clicks. 

Now, fairy tales... yeah, fairy tales aren't exactly a genre of many parents, good ones especially. In my - admittedly perhaps limited - knowledge of the topic, it seems you're significantly more likely to find parental figures who were good but died, or are alive but not good very bad. And, I'm sure you could tell, I'm not about that. Not when we're talking Roy. Roy is a fantastic dad. Roy would not send his kid out into the woods unattended. 

But! Art is all about invention. And if you ever find me unable to make something about Roy, that ain't me. As for romance, I do love a good romance. It's everywhere in the Roylore, if you know where to look. Why, would you like me to provide you with some shipping content? :P Haven't really thought about it before, to be honest, but can do, I suppose, can do. 

But back to my stories! 

There is one particular one I've probably mentioned a few times before, and it's actually one of my most finished ones! Because I've been working on it for like 4.5 years now, good lord! I've got a pretty large piece of the first draft done. Not all of it, but most, definitely. Yeah, definitely. Without spoiling much, it takes place in the faux olden times. It's extremely loosely inspired by Little Red Riding Hood, or more specifically a retelling of it I had to read for a BritLit class once. 

Roy - because it's always about Roy - is what could be best described as a wolf-selkie in that one. So's Yellow. I mean, obviously so's Yellow. They're family. They can freely switch between human and wolf form, so long as they have their skin with them. Not to be confused with werewolves - and they'd be quite offended if you did - because a werewolf is a human that was turned into a wolf via curse, and wolf selkies are all natural. Red Guy's also there. He's a human. Or, well, as much of a human as he can be. I love telling my friends about this story without mentioning the wolf part purely for their reactions when they get to the part where Roy outruns and hunts down an entire horse. 

The aforementioned retelling actually helped me out, with one particular unimportant scene, in picking who the villain of this story was gonna be. Y'see I made this little challenge for myself a while back where I'd make an AU specifically tailored to match one of the teachers as the antagonist. It's still not done yet, you've no idea how difficult some of them are to typecast. Shrignold is the only one so far that's been proving cooperative, I simply adore antagonising the fucker. But this one... this one was good. It was easy. 

And just because I can, here’s a couple more of these contextless lines. 🤭 

And uh. Speaking of Little Red, I have at some point entertained the thought of Little Red... Riding... Guy... as a joke - a joke which practically wrote itself! - and you can consider that idea a precursor to the above. 

On a completely different topic, the Witcher's fantasy, right? Cause you can bet I got into the Witcher purely for the Roy AU potential. Same reason I got into Kingsman (remind me to do something about that, by the way). S'not my fault Roy handling deadly weapons is such a compelling thought. Give my boy a sword. He deserves one. As a treat. 

My point is, really, who's a better fit for a witcher than Roy? They've got so much in common! Though obviously Roy's story is significantly different from Geralt's. Less relationship drama. More juggling getting life-threatening contracts and trying to raise a kid. Max is there as the only actually Polish guy. Also Red Guy? Definitely a bard. Maybe not exactly the best at it but he is one. There’s plenty more I could say about this one, but I’ll save that for another post. This one’s getting a bit long already, haha.