#me? projecting onto fictional characters? its more likely than you think

[blueish-bird]

a character that can’t directly touch others without hurting them can be something so personal

[sehunniepotwrites]

WITH YOU | MK.L | THREE

SYNOPSIS. There are many things Mark Lee wants to do with you. He wants to walk you home. He wants to dive into the deep blue sea with you. He wants to go on a drive with you at his side. But mostly, this crazy, head over heels in love boy just wants to make it with you.

PAIRING. mark lee x fem!reader

GENRE. college!au, friends-to-lovers!au, tooth-rotting fluff, humor WARNINGS. profanity, sulky!mark because he failed his exam and lost a game, mention of (non-alcoholic) drinks, mentions of creeper guy that doesn't get a damn hint

WORD COUNT. 1.2k+

DISCLAIMER. This is work of fiction. I do not own the people/characters or concepts I have written about. You cannot translate or copy my work. © sehunniepotwrites, 2023

I. WALK YOU HOME | II. DIVE INTO YOU | III. DRIVE | IV. MAKE IT WITH YOU

Mark Lee having a bad day was a rare commodity. The athlete was seldom seen with his brown eyes aimed to the floor and a frown stitched onto his face. No, he was usually spotted with a bright sparkle in his irises, a grin that was way too wide for his small and handsome face, his hockey gear tucked in under his arm, and most importantly, you. 

Maybe that was the stark difference between Mark’s drastic moods. You weren’t present at the home game that just finished. On top of it being midterms week, an ultimate stressor on its own, you skipped out on today’s game in favor of finishing a midterm project with a partner that may or may not have been putting some moves on you. Hearing that news after basically bombing his Biology exam that was worth twenty perfect of his grade just added onto his sullen behavior. Instead of focusing on the game, Mark’s mind was void of the strategized plays and off the ice, floating all the way down to the campus library–where you were.

Mark really shouldn’t be upset. He should’ve been proud that you put your grades first instead of a game. After all, you weren’t a student athlete; this game shouldn’t mean a thing to you.  But it was his game. You were his lucky charm. You always have been and you always will be. 

Sure, others showed up to the games with his number painted onto their cheeks in their university colors and poster boards that displayed his name but they weren’t you. You weren’t the one in the crowd with the pretty, mismatched ribbons in their hair or screaming his name as he scored a goal. You weren’t there, drowning in his away game jersey like you usually were. You were drowning in school work with a guy that would not leave you alone. 

“It’s fine,” you said. “I just have to stick it out until the end of the week and it’ll be okay. I notified my professor and we’re meeting up in their office so I��m not left alone with the guy.”

“Yeah but–”

“Go and score a goal for me,” you hushed Mark, pressing a manicured finger to his lips when he tried to push back. “Promise?”

Mark’s frown grew. “But–”

“Ah,” you replied, adding more pressure to his lips. Raising your free hand, you brought your pinky towards him. “Promise?”

Mark sighed in defeat, linking his pinky with yours. He shook your intertwined hands. “Promise.”

Knowing you won, you grinned. “That’s my Marky. Now, go! I’ll see you tomorrow! You’ll be fine without me.”

But he wasn’t. 

And it’s sad how reliant on you Mark became. Before you, he could fully function on his own. Now? Mark was seen with you more often than not. You were like an extension of him, something he couldn’t live without. His teammates and friends noticed it; Haechan wouldn’t let Mark go a day without teasing him on the ice. Johnny, who wasn’t on the team, often made a lot of noise during games to let Mark know exactly where the two of you sat. And Jaehyun, bless his soul, always explained the technicalities of the sport so you understood each and every play-by-play in order to cheer Mark on.

He wasn’t fine before, during, or after the game and all he could think about was you. Nothing else mattered but you. 

To top off this horrible day, they lost the game. There were definitely other factors that contributed to the loss but the most defining one was that Mark’s head wasn’t in it. He tried taking your mind off of you but quickly deemed it impossible. Even after he showered, lugged his sorry ass out of the hockey arena and into his car, his mind was still glued to the thought of you. Driving aimlessly around campus didn’t help and before he knew it, Mark’s hands fiddled with his dashboard screen until your number was dialed.

Two rings later and he heard your voice. “Hey,” you greeted, voice booming from the speakers. Your voice was soft unlike the other times you answered the phone–a lot gentler, like he needed to be approached with caution.

“Hi,” Mark mustered out before going silent again. All the two of you could hear were the sounds on the road.

“What’s going on?” you asked with that same soothing voice. 

You knew what happened. You weren’t there to witness the losing game but word travels fast. Johnny and Jaehyun called you shortly after the game, relaying an abbreviated version of the game while escaping the disappointed crowd. They made it known that Mark was off his game the entire time. Your friends made a light joke, saying it was because you weren’t there, and pointing out how he seemed different whenever you were in attendance. You brushed off their teasing but assured them you would check on your best friend. 

But despite knowing, you wanted the news to come from Mark. If he didn’t want to talk about it, that was okay with you too. You could practically hear him shrugging as he replied, “Dunno, I just wanted to see you.”

Noticing that Mark was so close to shutting down completely, you answered, “Well, I’m always down to see you. Care for a drive, Marky?”

He caught the sound of rustling from your ride and figured you were rushing to get ready before he arrived. The arena was a mere seven minute drive from your housing complex, not giving you much time to get yourself together at all. Prior to him calling, you were most likely nestled up under your comforter, adorning your favorite pair of sweats and oversized hoodie to keep you warm. Mark wanted to say that you didn’t have to change, but knowing his best friend, you’d probably ignore whatever he said. 

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I need.”

“I’ll see you in a few then,” you said with finality before hanging up the phone.

A few minutes later, Mark pulled up to your complex, only to find you already downstairs. You didn’t come empty handed, the drink tumbler he always used when he was over at your place in one hand and your tumbler in the other. He reached over the console to open the passenger door for you and you immediately slid in, handing him his cup. 

“Hey you,” you smiled at him before pressing a short kiss to his cheek. Whereas he caught you off guard the last time you went to the beach, his soft lips grazing against your cheek, it was your turn to surprise him. The action shocked him so much, he almost dropped the steaming drink in hand.

“H-hey,” Mark stuttered a bit pathetically, swiftly turning his attention to his tumbler. Bringing it up to his lips, he tasted his favorite comfort drink–hot cocoa with whip cream and marshmallows. The temperature was a bit too hot, the liquid burning his tongue after having a lick of melted whip cream, but he didn’t dare complain. He took another sip of it before putting it down and shifting the gear to drive. 

The drive itself wasn’t necessary to Mark, he already felt a bit better in your presence as you buckled your seatbelt. 

It’s you—you’re what he needed. You’re what he wanted. And you’re the one person that would always bring a smile to his face. It didn’t feel right to admit it to you now, not when he was just sulking in all of his sorrows. Maybe another time or place. But for now, Mark was content with you in his passenger seat and his hands on the wheel, ready to go anywhere as long as you were at his side.

AUTHOR’S NOTE. hi, it's been a while, hasn't it? i'm slowly writing again, starting with finishing all the drafts that have been sitting in my docs for a hot second! my writing style's change a bit so don't mind the stylistic changes (if you even notice it). i apologize it's short but i didn't have much planned for this one. it's just marky sitting in his thoughts.

TAGLIST. @johtenrecs @bat-shark-repellant  @bebsky @donutswithjaminthemiddle @suhnnyskhies @baekhyuns-lipchain @emmybyeakitty  @sokkigarden @iwishiwasthemoontonight @stvrrynight @ppangjae @luvenshiti @ferxanda @jenosuh​ @mxrcayong-main @lebrookestore​ @the-universe-in-you-jjh @planetkiimchi @hannie-dul-set @kdyism @lovesuhng

reply to this post or send an ask to be added to the taglist!

© sehunniepotwrites, 2023

[bowtiepastabitch]

Heaven's Not Homophobic in Good Omens, and Why That's Important

I need to preface this with, I am not trying to start a fight or argument and won't tolerate any homophobic or bad faith arguments in response to this. Cool? Cool.

This is in large part inspired by this ask from Neil's blog, which sparked some discourse that I don't want to get involved in but that brought up some analytic questions for me.

He goes on to reblog a question asking about Uriel's taunt specifically, clarifying that "boyfriend in the dark glasses" can just as easily be read/translated from angelic as girlfriend or bosom buddy. The idea is that an angel and a demon "fraternizing" is seriously looked down upon, not that heaven is homophobic. And that's super important.

We see homophobia in both the book and show, of course. Aziraphale is very queer-coded, intentionally and explicitly so, and we see the reaction of other humans to that several times. Sergeant Shadwell, for example, and the kid in the book that calls him the f-slur when he's doing magic at Warlock's birthday party. These are, however, individual human reactions to his coding as a gay man.

I am, personally, not a fan of heaven redemption theories for the show; no hate for people who want that it's just not something I'm interested in. I don't believe that heaven is good with bad leadership, or that God Herself remains as a paragon of virtue. To me, that's not in line with the themes and messages of the show. It's important, however, that heaven doesn't reflect human vices. Heaven can be nasty and selfish and apathetic in its own right without ableism, homophobia, transphobia, or racism. This matters for two reasons.

Firstly, we don't need the -isms and -phobias to be evil or at least ethically impure. In a world where we spend so much time fighting against prejudice and bigotry, our impulse is to see that reflected in characters whose motivations we distrust or who we're intended to dislike. While it's true that that's often the big bad evil in our daily lives, it can really cheapen the malice in fictional evil from a storytelling standpoint. A villain motivated by racism or as an allegory for homophobia can be incredibly compelling, but not every bad guy can be the physical representation of an -ism. Art reflects the reality in which it's crafted, but the complexity of human nature and the evil it's capable of can't be simplified to a dni list.

Secondly, and I think more importantly, is that for Good Omens specifically, this places the responsibility for homophobia on humanity. If you're in this fandom, there's like a 98% chance you've been hurt by religion in some way. For a lot of us, that includes religious homophobia and hate, so it makes sense to want to project that onto the 'religious' structure of Good Omens. It's a story that is, in many ways, about religious trauma and abuse. However, if heaven itself held homophobic values, it would canonize in-universe the idea that heaven and religion itself are responsible for all humanity's -isms and -phobias and absolve humans of any responsibility. Much like Crowley emphasizes repeatedly that the wicked cruelty he takes responsibility for is entirely human-made, we have to accept that heaven can't take the blame for this. To make heaven, the religious authority, homophobic would simply justify religious bigotry from humans. By taking the blame for religious extremism and hatred away from heaven and the religious structure, Good Omens makes it clear that the nastiness of humanity is uniquely and specially human and forces the individual to take responsibility rather than the system. Hell isn't responsible for the Spanish Inquisition, which by the way was religiously motivated if you didn't know, and heaven isn't responsible for Ronald Reagan.

This idea is perhaps more strongly and explicitly expressed in the Good Omens novel, in the scene where Aziraphale briefly possesses a televangelist on live TV. It's comedic, yes, but also serves to demonstrate that human concepts of the apocalypse and religious fervor are deeply incorrect (in gomens universe canon) and condemn exploitation of faith practices. Pratchett and Gaiman weave a great deal of complexity into the way religion and religious values are portrayed in the book, especially in the emphasis on heaven and hell being essentially the same. They're interested in the concept of what it means to be uniquely and unabashedly human, the good and the bad, and part of that is forcing each individual person to bear the brunt of responsibility for their own actions rather than passing it off onto a greater religious authority.

Additionally, from a fan perspective, there's something refreshing about a very queer story where homophobia isn't the primary (or even a side) conflict. The primary narrative of Good Omens isn't that these two man-shaped-beings are gay, it's that they're an angel and a demon. The tension in their romantic arc arises entirely from the larger conflict of heaven and hell, and things like gender and sexuality don't really matter at all. Yes, homophobia and transphobia are very real, present issues in our everyday lives, but they don't have to be central to every story we tell. There's something really soothing about Crowley and Aziraphale being so queer-coded and so clearly enamored with each other without constantly being bombarded with homophobia and hate. It's incredible to see a disabled angel whose use of a mobility aid makes no difference in their role and to see angels and demons using they/them pronouns without being questioned or misgendered. It's all accepted and normalized, and that's the kind of representation that we as queer people deserve.

[basilpaste]

Hey, can you tell us more about your arospec Isa headcanon? It sounds so cool, I'd love to have more of your thoughts!

oh gosh um. honestly its not a super fancy hc? and obviously its not like the intentional reading of his character, isa is a super romancey character i know this.

but i dunno! i guess its sort of me projecting onto a guy i like? ive always been really fond of the thing of 'aro[ace] character enjoys the concept of romance and likes the idea of being in love with someone'. ive got a handful of personal ocs who fall into this trope (shoutout phillie i never talk about you but i love you my aroace cupid) and i am also kinda that way?

isa really likes romance! as a concept! he likes tropey, cheesy, sappy romance stories! he likes talking about romance in theory! it feels like he could be the kind of guy who loves to think about these kinds of things, but doesnt really feel them himself? until he gets violently sidelined by a sudden wave of romantic attraction (or something close to it).

it works with how bashful about his own feelings he is too, i think. he can talk about dating and love in the context of fiction, but doesnt really know what to do when its him whos getting all the dokis. this also sort of circles back to how isabeau is willing to talk about other peoples feelings but not so much his own? like we know he goes to odile about his crush on sif instead of mira because he knows real life romance tends to make her uncomfortable? which is a Very Aro thing to notice about a friend i think but i digress.

he also calms down pretty significantly after actually getting his confession to sif out. hes more than willing to wait for their answer and doesnt mind the 'i love you, but im not sure if its in the same way'.

the way he ends up confessing at all can read aro-ish to me, too? like he fully spills his guts. he lays all of his emotions flat on the table and goes 'this is all of the stuff that i like about you!!!!!! i have catalogued in my brain all of the things i like about you!!!!!!!!!!!'

and an aside that doesnt matter but im still adding: the hate crush thing? im still not convinced hate crushes are a real thing actual people get. i know people say they do but i cannot actually fathom that. it sounds like confusing non-romantic emotions for romantic ones because theyre Strong Emotions. isabeau mentions having had hate crushes. yadda yadda accidental wires crossing.

wwweh.

[saintsenara]

❤, 💛, and 💜 please!

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?

having seen the state of my inbox, this isn't the only time this one will come up...

so let's start strong by going for... albus dumbledore.

i find dumbledore bashing incredibly boring - not because dumbledore is a character i think of as morally spotless, but because the way he's criticised in certain areas of this fandom becomes dull by virtue of never actually engaging with interesting critiques of his character and decisions.

dumbledore is not some machiavellian evil genius - the entire point of deathly hallows is that the omniscient vibe that he projects in the first six books isn't actually omniscience at all, and it always irks me to see authors miss this, and ascribe to malice what is clearly human fallibility. nor is dumbledore intentionally or egregiously manipulative or cruel. and nor is there something "wrong" with him.

[the closest i've come recently to throwing my laptop at the wall was seeing a nonsensical post proposing that one of the reasons why it's fine to think of him as a villain is that he has anti-social personality disorder. not because i think it's inappropriate to assign diagnoses to fictional characters, but because i think if you do wish to do that you should attempt to know what you're talking about... and (evidently quite poorly) reading the wikipedia summary of an extremely complex disorder is not that.]

dumbledore is a wartime paramilitary leader - and wartime leaders have to make extraordinarily complex decisions, often ones which result in harm befalling their soldiers. the series is generally fairly weak on the realities of war - since its genre conventions require it to end with all being well - but what it shows of dumbledore's tactics is one area in which it shines.

and it also gives us plenty of meat if we want to emphasise the ways in which he's inadmirable.

dumbledore is a creature of stasis - he holds radical views, but he does nothing to actually advance them in society [this is a man who is at the heart of the establishment for half a century, who does nothing with that power to dismantle the oppressive social structures which drive wizarding politics and prop up blood-supremacy], and he also has a tendency to adopt a "wait and see" approach in situations where intervention would be obviously more appropriate. dumbledore is a hypocrite - he’s happy to be depended on by fudge, he is appalled that fudge might depend on lucius malfoy. dumbledore lives in an ivory tower, and clearly has little interest in the ways poverty, violence, and isolation affect people. dumbledore projects his shame and self-loathing onto others in a way which is detrimental to their own happiness. and so on.

all of these flaws have a tangible impact on the arc of the series - and dumbledore's failure to take meaningful action to prevent either voldemort or snape's radicalisation is something i think he can be genuinely criticised for - but they can't be taken in isolation. dumbledore fucks up because he's just one man - and the character flaws which cause him to fuck up also contribute to many of his most admirable traits: his mercy; his courage; his steadfastness; and his faith.

and it's so much more interesting than reducing him to a one-note caricature of evil!

what is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?

dramione, because i have a very low tolerance for both fanon!hermione and fanon!draco.

i think it could be done interestingly... i've just never seen it.

which character is way hotter than everyone else seems to think?

which got two more shoutouts:

arthur and molly weasley.

they both clearly fuck - and the lack of respect they receive for this in the fandom is because of the tiresome association of sex with youth and [one, very narrow, view of] beauty [hence why characters like snape often become mysteriously hot when they're being written in romantic pairings...], meaning that both of them being middle-aged, arthur balding, and molly being fat means that the fact that they're clearly obsessed with each other never gets the attention it deserves.

[meeks-just-wants-to-scroll]

Hello !!! :3

I'm slowly getting through chapter 3 of hare fox moon and I've been wondering:

What's the writing process like??? Since in the notes of I believe chapter 1 it says its all from a discord channel so I'm really curious about how you and cupidkiss go about writing???

Also I love your responses to my comments !! Glad they bring joy :3

Signed- snail from ao3

The writing process of HFM kind of just… came out of somewhere? It got far far smoother as we went on. The first couple chapters initially were rough when released to AO3 but since then I have gone back one or two times and revised.

Initially the rp wasn’t even going to be uploaded to AO3. I just decided to archive the roleplay on a google doc because I had a long ass roleplay way back with another person and I regret I never archived it. It was only a couple chapters in me and Paigey realized we were onto something good. I took up the duty of archiving, revising, and uploading the roleplay because it was my desire to fan fiction it.

Why discord?:

Because me and paigey talk on discord and we felt it was most convenient to just make a discord server for keep everything organized.

General: commentary on the events on the roleplaying/ live reactions. It also functions as a catch all channel for any topic that isn’t captured by others.

Rp: channel where we take turns sending responses. Once a message is uploaded, I can copy and paste it into google docs (with minimal formatting issues).

Plot ideas: this was more active earlier in the story when we were organizing ideas, but it’s basically where we shot ideas and planned what would come next in an arc.

Prompts: similar to plot ideas but far more loose and general. This was a channel for art ideas, silly story ideas, character creation ideas, AU ideas, etc.

Art: where we exchanged art of the RP and characters. This channel mainly exists so I can find art quicker and don’t have to filter through something like general channel for a drawing.

Refs: author Bible channel. Quick place to find ref sheets, character desc, maps, mood boards, and whatever else we need to quickly pull up.

Photos: posts not made me either of us that we send to the server. Yet again exists so I can find images or links sent easier.

There are more channels but they are unrelated or AU related.

In rp channel we initially used Tubberbots for Boone and malt because…. Idk. Thought it’d be cool. Near the end I stopped using my malt tubberbot because it prevented me from existing my messages.

All the rp gets put into a doc and revised by me. Everytime we send a rp response, it gets a once over read, then another scan by me when I am in revising mode. Once there is enough written to be one whole chapter, I do a revise of the entire chapter in one sitting. It is during this step I turn all *italic words* into Italic words because discord copy and paste doesn’t copy the text effects across to google docs.

Once I do that final review, I copy it and upload it to AO3. There are 2 google docs. The first one got so full it would crash and so I made another one. It’s holding up better than the last one, even if it is longer.

Would I recommend roleplaying like this? Hmmm. Not particularly, but I can’t think of many better ways. Discord is familiar and accessible and even though it has formatting issues, it is not the worst.

-

I am happy you’re so engaged with this oc project! I promise you, even when we publish the last chapter to this fic, we will still be enthusiastic to answer and talk about it. :) never hesitate to send me or cupiidskiss asks about HFM.

[masochist-marmot]

I hate the Naoto gender discourse

TW: transphobia, gender dysphoria, Naoto Shirogane

First of all, I think it's entirely valid to read whatever you want into fictional characters. Art is meant to be interpreted and to evoke something in the audience, and while it's useful to consider the author's intent, it's just as valid to interpret the text on its own.

In Persona 4, the intended reading is this: Naoto is and has always been a girl who wishes to be taken seriously in her male-dominated field. She confuses these feelings for identifying as a boy, and it's up to our party to set her back on the straight path and accept her role as young woman. Rise is incredibly eager to chastise this "young lady" immediately after learning about the reality, and throughout the game we are helping her to be more comfortable with being a girl. This is quite straightforwardly what the text is saying.

How many fans (me included) see the text is this: Naoto displays signs of gender dysphoria and struggles with their gender identity. Even after you have talked them out of a literal gender-affirming surgery (performed by a mad scientist, because why not make it extra scary to boot), they continue to present as a boy. During the rest of the game as well as Naoto's social link, you and your party can continue to push femininity on them. They're forced into a swimsuit contest, where they refuse to show up on the stage, and Yosuke says he knew it would happen. If you want to date Naoto, you have to pick the options where you tell them you like them as a girl, even though you get more social link points if you say their gender doesn't matter. This implies that Naoto is more comfortable with the way they present now, but feels that they have to present more feminine if they want to date you (which sounds like heteronormative bullshit to me). It's probably not difficult to see why this would make some players uncomfortable.

Now to the point of this post: There's a big (or just vocal?) portion of the fanbase that will call you media illiterate or delusional if you bring up your discomfort with how Naoto's gender was handled. And I can't stand it. As I demonstrated above, I know what the text is saying and have a problem with it. Media literacy isn't just about recognising what is being said, but also why it's being said. And Naoto's character arc displays well intentioned ignorance and heteronormative values at best, and malicious TERF-like ideology at worst. I'm inclined to believe it's the former, as the game and the series more widely don't seem to have a malicious intent behind them, although they certainly have other uncomfortable parts (I could make a very similar post about Kanji).

So why do so many people have an issue with the trans Naoto reading? Well, in games like these, players tend to form strong emotional connections to the characters. I'm guessing that for a lot of people it's important that their waifu is, well, a waifu. (I'm personally too pan to understand this and will advocate using "waifu" as a gender neutral word.) I'm sure some of it is annoyance with the notion of the interpretation contradicting with canon, which is apparently law. People feel like you're projecting something onto the text and not getting the intended meaning. Which feels like a weird point, since everyone is projecting some of their own feelings onto any text. And then there's your good old transphobia that manifests as a myriad of rationalisations (including the one about canon being law). I usually try to understand where people are coming from, but some people can't be reasoned with.

I don't have a conclusion, I just had to get this out.

TLDR; Stop bullying people who choose to view a character through a different lens than you do, and please practice your empathy and critical thinking skills.

[captain-clandestiny]

Hello, this is your g/t secret santa! Hope you're doing fine. I wanted to ask you if you could explain your likes/dislikes a bit more. Blue Sleeves is your own story/universe, right? Do you have any wishes or pointers for me (or just feel free to ramble about it if you want ^.^) Also I hope you're okay if I write something for you, I'm not that good an artist.

HII i am so sorry this week has been so busy aa i didnt see this 😭😭 ofc ofc that;s awesome!!! im so sorry aabdjshj i didnt know LMAO

Bluesleeves is indeed my own story! its a sci-fi military fiction, basically just kinda "what if there was an official branch dedicated to experimental technologies to be used in warfare and (questionably ethically) peacekeeping?" Half glorification of the incredible advancements of man, half satirical statement on the horrors of the military industrial system.

ill try to ramble about the whole plot here without spoiling anything below here lol. but whatever you wanna do go for it!! the whole thing is still a massive work in progress, so i encourage you to interpret the story as you wish!

So i'm sure that scrolling through the blog you're somewhat acquainted with the whole crew, but i'll give some short character descriptions of everyone here

Captain (also just goes by 'Cap,' true name to be revealed)

5'6" - she.her - white - dark blonde hair(usually up in a bun), hazel eyes

biological recombinant, lead subject of the Avian Task Force (ATF). specializes in a variety of skills, the most notable being reconnaissance, first aid, and long range combat.

basically just a random human woman with wings grafted onto her back lol. most of the story is just the corps figuring out what to do with her

sarcastic, spirited personality, though a bit oblivious and insensitive at times. could probably use some media training

has a strong moral compass when it comes to consequences of life/death. this often leads her to struggle with coworkers and the responsibilities of her occupation

prides herself in being a leadership figure, but likes to quarrel with higher-up commands too. she'll do what she thinks is right without thinking much about the collateral.

Lanning

~60' - he.him - mech - not really sure how to put the physical description for a robot lmao

big robot. yeah.

usually a no-nonsense, nonchalant figure, but will entertain an interaction outside of his productive hustle every now and then

maintains security operations when not deployed (both digital and perimeter security around HQ)

heavy support figure in combat, tertiary defense in more desperate scenarios

doesn't express a lot towards the mortality of organic creatures. his apathy is often regarded as his primary weakness by everyone else that knows him, though he personally disagrees with that.

would never admit it, but he feels a lot more than he expresses :(

---- Greyson ('Grey' for short, first name not yet revealed)

6'3" (but you can choose anywhere from 20'-90' if you wanna write him giant!! it varies throughout the story) - he.him - hispanic - dark hair(buzzed), chestnut brownish eyes

trial subject of the TITAN project, a force that is still very much in development with two other subjects in active operation (who are yet to be officially introduced, so you can ignore that for now if you want). just the government messing around with growth serums to make giant soldiers!!! what could go wrong here.. (famous last words)

important point!!! - his real appearance beneath the heavy tactical gear he always wears has not yet been revealed in official writing!!! so for now you can assume that no one's really seen his face underneath the mask

just kinda wears the generic army outfit : combat boots, cargo pants, tactical vest and headgear, etc.. customize bits as you desire, but he keeps his face concealed at all times!! since he doesn't show his face though, he usually makes his body language very visible to all he interacts with (doesn't have to try very hard though when he's big haha)

kinda quiet guy, speaks through his actions rather than words a lot. will speak up when it comes to professional proceedings or a formal discussion

quiet, but not shy!!! will grab you if you;re being an asshole with no consideration for personal space

big fitness nerd, always either working out or staring into space in his free time

its been hinted at that he carries a heavy trauma on his shoulders.. something prior to being inducted in the TITAN project that haunts his every move, but no one really knows... (yet. again, another thing that will later be officially revealed in the future)

General Malik

90' - he.him - white - light, buzzed hair, almost white-ish blue eyes

unhealthy complexion, very pale and malnourished features

a leading general of the Røzvivat insurrectionist forces, cooperative subject of their experimental faction (basically- giant general yippee!!)

cold, driven personality. the son of a foreign spy, taken as a child and raised in a Røzvivat indoctrination camp where he grew to become... the nightmare that cap meets today

unsettlingly interested in psychology and desires a modern education in strategies of deception

for now, is under heavy control of Røzvivat propaganda. will both kill and be killed for the 'global freedom' the High Houses promise they fight for

sneaky and manipulative, but not well versed in combat with someone of his same size!

Bluesleeves surrounds Captain's journeys in a world built upon lies and deception, painted as a patriotic fever dream. A modern gilded age of sorts. As an experimental soldier for the WFEO (Western Forces Experimental Operations, a broader branch including experimental factions from other countries) she pledges her life to the repair of international connections, and just kinda tries to survive each day. Whether it's a support mission gone awry or accidentally upsetting one of her looming coworkers, whatever you choose to do is up to you! If you want a list of hypothetical situations that the crew could go though to write about, just lmk <33 and however deep you want to delve into the themes of this story is entirely your choice!! if you wanna write something silly, fluffy, or bloody, just know i will love whatever you make, whoever you are!!! anything else i can provide to help (i know im not the best at rambling in a coherent fashion ahah) just send an ask i gotchu 🤙🤙 have fun!!

[writingquestionsanswered]

I have this problem that finally showed up after many years, I'm a few chapters away from completing my book. After almost 5 years writing this through happy times and sad times, I'm finally done! Yet, I can't move on. Instead of being happy to finally complete my passion project, I feel myself grieving the eventuality. I spent years building my world, story, characters etc... and now I don't want it to end, I don't want to complete it. Suffering from success if you will.

Do you have any tips on this fear of completion? My book is set up as a stand-alone, so making a sequel wouldn't work.

Have you ever had this "completion grief" and if so, how did you move on from it?

Thank you

Dealing with Creative Grief When Story is Done

It's normal to feel grief upon completion of a story, especially one that you've been working on a long time and/or has been emotionally demanding. Here are some things you can do to help work through this feeling:

1 - Be Proud of Your "Baby Bird" - Your baby bird has flown your now empty nest, but take a moment to recognize the beauty of this moment... this project you've worked so hard on is now complete and ready to fly away. You've done everything you can for it, so now it's time to let it spread its wings and live a life of its own. As much as it's sad, it's exciting, too. And it's a huge accomplishment!

2 - Find Closure with Celebration - Many creatives find celebration a helpful way to find closure when a project is finished. This can be something small, like ordering pizza or enjoying a glass of champagne, or it could be something bigger, like having a nice dinner out with friends, or even throwing a little party. Having any sort of event to mark the occasion can help it to feel more final, but in a way that is happy and comforting.

3 - Start a New Project - With one project finished and out in the world, you may find it helpful to start planning a new project, or at least start thinking about one. Throwing that leftover creative energy into something new helps with that sense of emptiness, distracts you from creative grief due to the finished project, and heals your heart with enthusiasm for a new world, new characters, and new plot.

4 - Schedule a Future Visit - Sometimes it helps to plan to revisit the completed project in some way at a future date. That could be reading it at some point, if you're able to read through finished projects and enjoy them. It could be creating a collection of mood boards for the story and characters and sharing them with your readers. It might be doing a reading of the first chapter on an Instagram live, or--hear me out on this--writing a companion story. Now, I don't mean writing a sequel or even a story that you'd share necessarily, but more something for yourself, kind of like fan-fiction of your own work, just as a way to get into your story and revisit the characters and world. And truth be told, if you plan to do this--say on the six-month anniversary of when your story was finished--it will give you a sense of the story living on that will help you get through your grief now, but by the time you get to that point, you probably won't need to do it anymore.

5 - Wait for It To Pass - Of course the hard thing about any kind of grief is there's not a whole lot you can do to make it go away. For the most part, you just have to acknowledge that it's there and give yourself the grace needed to get through it. Most of the time, it passes more quickly than you might expect, and you'll be onto something new in now time.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[sicasole]

Why I Love Kpop (I think)

I’ve joked before that everyone who likes kpop secretly wants to be in a polycule, but like most jokes the more I think about that statement, the more truth I find in it. After all, kpop disrupts the way we think about homosocial relationships, and it often presents queer dynamics for its audience to ponder and sometimes even obsess over. Lately, (and by lately I mean for almost 8 years) I’ve been captivated by the question of why I and so many other queer people love kpop so much. The following is a stream-of-consiousness attempt at answering that question. I’ll be speaking from the perspective of a queer femme fan who listens to and watches mostly male idols, but of course I know this topic is richer than just this one dynamic. I don’t speak for all queer people or all kpop fans.

For as long as I can remember I’ve been listening to, performing, and analyzing music, but when I think about kpop, I’m thinking about it very differently than any other musical media. Because yes, kpop is about the music but it’s also about so much else. It’s about queerness and bodily autonomy and relationships both toxic and beneficial. I, like a lot of queer people, love fantasy worlds and characters because they present their audiences with beings who live outside the norm, people and places unbounded by logic and social constraints. They offer us an escape from a world that is unaccepting of our ever-expansive queer identities, and a vision of the possibility for a better one.

But kpop occupies this intensely fascinating space between fantasy and reality. Fans online talk about idols more like they’re fictional characters than real people, frequently speculating about an idol’s time away from the narrative their company puts out the way someone might headcanon a fictional character. These group narratives a company creates give idols an air of fantasy and mystery, allowing for this fan speculation to run amok on social media as they attempt to “fill in the blanks.” But kpop offers a grounding in reality that pure fiction cannot. Here exists a fantasy world you can really see and hear and walk through. These characters you project onto are actually real people.

So why do I love kpop? The answer changes almost daily, but lately I think it's because in many ways, kpop seems to be made to be enjoyed by queer people. The 20th century had gay men who were devoted to Judy Garland, and now we have the Jungkook lesbians.

Queers have always dominated fandom spaces. As people who are more likely to lack role models in our everyday lives, we’ll often turn to fandom media for guidance about how to love and how to be. I think “straight” mass media lately is obsessed with being “relatable” but queer people don’t usually relate to the narratives put out by the heterosexual media machine. This is why kpop is really appealing to members of the community. It’s overwhelmingly uninterested in being relatable, instead, it's aspirational. This parallels the queer self, who is often more invested in the journey of becoming than it is in running towards a more clean-cut goal like home ownership or a nuclear family.

But when I think about kpop, I also think about my own body and its autonomy (or lack thereof). I think about the performance of femininity. This feels a bit strange and vulnerable to admit, but a part of me has always been willing to hand over my body in exchange for love and devotion. This is the kind of transaction a kpop idol makes when they sign a contract. It’s easy to criticize when we see it put in front of us so plainly, but queer people (especially trans people) and those assigned female at birth have always been aware that they don’t entirely own their bodies or decide their actions.

Idols capture exactly the level of freedom I believe is currently possible for me because frequently as a queer person and a feminine person I feel like the only way I can be accepted and safe is if I offer up my body and self in a way that is sanitized and therefore marketable and commodifiable.

Queerness is more accepted today than it was even a few years ago, but there are still limitations to that acceptance. Queer people who remind the dominant heterosexual power structures of tropes and stereotypes are more accepted than those who are living their lives in active opposition to straight expectations. Of course, we know that stereotypes are oppressive tools used to dehumanize people, which is why the pressure many members of the community feel to censor their identities in order to fit into these tropes and stereotypes (while often done for their own safety) is especially demoralizing.

Kpop also relies heavily on tropes when it comes to constructing the narrative of their groups’ dynamics. We know that much of this is done to make the group marketable and commodifiable. But one positive is that a performative self can protect a kpop idol’s privacy from a world that demands celebrities provide their fans with an endless stream of details about themselves and their lives. In the same way, a performative self can protect a queer person from persecution.

This begs the question of how much someone can stand to perform an inauthentic self, even if that performance helps keep them safe. Lately, this is where I see myself most in the idol on my screen. Like me, I feel he is constantly engaged in a horrific balancing act, asking himself how much he can stand to inhabit a performative self for his own safety. Like me, I feel he is questioning whether an authentic self even exists and if it does, will its appearance cut him off from the audience’s love? Like me, I feel he is screaming for a way out.

These men have been locked into a performance their overwhelmingly queer and female fanbases are all too familiar with. Their personal and financial livelihood depends on their ability to appeal to their audience just as the safety of queer people is dependent on the way they are viewed by the domineering heterosexual power. The relationship between idol and fanbase is both symbiotic and toxic. Idols become what they think their audiences want, and this performance is terrifyingly reflected in the lives of their marginalized fans.

This is the point in my thinking where I ask myself what I even hope to gain from this line of inquiry. Is it some sort of twisted self reflection? Is it an unhinged brain-ego trip? Is there even anything here worth exploring? I believe (and hope) there is. I and most people who analyze media today are pushing back on the idea that someone has to be exactly like you for you to relate to them. On the surface, the male idol is nothing like me, but the aspirational nature of kpop media invites me to see him and myself as more hauntingly alike than I would sometimes like to admit. He is androgynous in ways I could only ever dream of, yet he is yearning like me. He is queer like me.

One of the pillars of anthropology (so much so that it’s almost become a cliche) is that its goal is to make the strange familiar and the familiar strange. To the untrained eye, kpop might look like a shallower reflection of our everyday world, one that’s even more image-conscious and subjugated by the demands of capitalism. It certainly can be those things, but when I look at kpop I see the current human condition distilled. Most of us alive today have been trained to constantly seek validation from those around us. Kpop is both familiar and strange because it reminds us of the ways we perform for audiences either real or imagined. It can make us uncomfortable because it shows us just how much we are willing to sacrifice to satisfy the demands of those audiences. In censoring ourselves, we become our own voyeurs and are left wondering who has more power, observed or observer?

So why do I love kpop? I’m not always entirely sure that I do. What I do know is that it’s not really about some fantasy of receiving affection. I don’t turn to idols for tenderness. I never wanted to feel loved, I just wanted to see something beautiful up close. I wanted to see someone who was suffering in the same way I was. I wanted to seek some unprovable personal truth, that perhaps this ethereal creature I saw on my screen was, in fact, just like me. Sure, they had a surface-level beauty I could never reach, but we were alike in all the ways that mattered.

And here I am now, with all of this behind me, wondering if I am (and continue to be) just some more than slightly messed up and lonely child looking for connection in all the wrong places. But then again, aren’t we all?

[adarkrainbow]

Do you think the way people talk and discuss Walt's "Classic Three" (Snow White, Cinderella and Aurora) is accurate or close to what happens in the movies? I mean, they are always referred as excessively passive, weak, only interested on their looks (vain? superficial?), useless, beauty being their only good quality... And I ask myself, when was the last time these people watched the movies? Snow White negotiated her stay in the house, Cinderella survived a life of pure abuse & orchestrated her own escape from the tower, and, while not very much is shown about Aurora, she was about to sacrifice her personal happiness for the kingdom's sake (something Philip didn't have in mind)that takes courage! They don't wield swords but they are much stronger that they appear, and while I get some of the critique, I hate the "strong only means kicking butt" idea, like, it's incomplete, and superficial, and it can be reductive & dangerous (for the girls, and for the boys too!)

I have talked about this before in many posts, and others have talked about this way better than me, so I'll try to break down my opinion in a quite short and concise way. And as usual, you probably won't be surprised to find me again, neutral on those topic.

On one side: people are unfairly criticizing and judging too harshly the "original trio" of Disney movies. This has been explained by many people on this website, so I won't expand on this too much, but indeed, there is a mixture of superficial viewing of these movies, of not-contextualizing them, of projecting modern-day values and expectations over nearly century old pieces, and of a general need to criticize and rant about everything (especially big corporations and the "classics" of culture - whenever something becomes a classic, a backlash awaits). Cinderella is a much more surprising and strong character than you'd expect. These movies do teach the idea that being strong doesn't mean simply kicking everybody and proving yourself to be a lone wolf (especially since there's a strong focus on friendship in those stories). The whole "the prince kissing Sleeping Beauty in her sleep is rape culture" is ridiculous ; especially since in the Disney version it was made to be a true love kiss, between people who were in love, and the whole context was the breaking of a curse ; AND the actual rapist-origins of the story are from a 16th century Italian fairytale nobody knew about until the Internet dug it up in the 2010s. Even today many people who invoke the rapist-story are unable to tell you who wrote it or where it comes from, because they just latch onto the idea "Oh yes there's a rape story." and that's it, no more research for them.

Heck, Sleeping Beauty is even surprising for its time AND for the Disney criteria by having elderly, non-attractive female leads who do more than the actual male hero and ultimately are the true focus of the tale - the fairy godmothers. Same things with Snow-White - to make the dwarfs the equal of the titular Snow-White, even more to focus more character development and screen time on them rather than the princess, and to give them unique characterisation and treat them as people rather than plot-props... This was BIG, this was not something usual, and this was a game-changer. Overall - I say the same thing for fantasy literature - a lot of the "new" or "modern" twists people expect from today's fictions are awaiting you in the past. Everybody complains about traditional fantasy not having POC main characters or not having strong female lead that is not sexualized - Earthsea had all those by the 60s and 70s, and it was just as influential on fantasy as Lord of the Rings or Elric.

However... Recognizing that a lot of the criticism is unfair and overblown, and that the backlash is ignorant and caricatural does NOT mean we should just blindly worship and naively accept those movies as untouchable, sacred relics that cannot be criticize. If there is a backlash, it means there is a reason for such criticism to arise in the first place, and we must identify why - to give back the problem in its proper proportions, and not in the exaggerated state we are offered today.

So... The other side - why is this Disney trio not fitting our modern world?

And the answer is very simple. They are heroines of 17th and 19th centuries tales, that were adapted for an early 20th century American mindset. They are bound to age or be unfit for the 21st century. Placing them back into context allows us to understand how great, good or groundbreaking they were in their time - but it does not mean they hold up to modern-day characters. Some elements of the Disney movies aged better than ever, some are still resonating today, and this is what gives them an "out-of-time" feeling. Yet... yet there is a reason why the "Disney princess" had to evolve and had to change herself to fit a new audience. Why did the characters of Rapunzel and Elsa of Disney had such huge success and were beloved by the masses? Because they were answering early 21st century needs, society and expectations, the same way the original trio did for their time.

A character like Aurora of Sleeping Beauty couldn't work today because she literaly is a paper-thin character that does nothing throughout the story and is truly more of a MacGuffin than anything. Oh yes she speaks, has a song, has feelings and emotions - and there is this very progressive idea of having Aurora be unhappy and traumatized by discovering her princess heritage, which aged very well! But the rest? She is a baby ; then she sings about being in love ; then she cries about not wanting to be a princess ; then she sleeps ; then she is married. The story is done and moved by the interesting characters about her, but not by her - Maleficent wants to destroy Aurora, Philip wants to save Aurora, the fairy godmothers wants to protect Aurora... I do not recall which feminist created this theory, but there is the test of the lamp. If you can replace a female character by a beautiful lamp, this is bad for you. And unfortunately Disney's Sleeping Beauty "succeeeds" at the test of the lamp, since Aurora's massively passive involvment in the story makes her a perfect fit. The king and queen create the most beautiful lamp you ever saw ; Maleficent angry curses the lamp to be destroyed ; the fairy godmothers are tasked with keeping the lamp safe ; later the prince discovers the lamp in the woods and wants to have it for his living room, so he plans to return later ; meanwhile the fairy godmothers return the lamp to their rightful owners the king and queen, while Maleficent captures the prince who returned in hope of taking the lamp ; etc etc... It does not change the story one bit.

Another, even more obvious example, of the "age" of those characters - Snow-White. Disney's Snow-White is the very embodiment of the "50s housewife" cliche, and thus was a perfect fit for this first-half-of-the-20th-century American society. In the Grimm story, the little girl enters the house, takes the food, goes to sleep, and upon meeting the dwarfs they make a bargain of chores in exchange of protection. In the Disney movie? She cleans the house all by herself, without asking anybody, just in hope it will please people. Which is a very "fairytale" move... But still is perceived badly as just the typical idea that "A good girl cleans up the house, that we ask her or not". The fact Snow-White also acts as a mother figure for the dwarfs despite being a teenage girl is... yeah it is questionable and there's a whole baggage of the girl existing as solely a future mother and a housekeeper-in-training. Let's not even talk of the infantilization of the dwarfs just because of their small size despite being clearly much older than her...

So yeah, I always take a neutral stance on things (except for a few stuff), and this is no exception. There is an unfair treatment of the original Disney princesses, definitively, and people are misreading the original movies... But when we take a critical look we also have to recognize that these characters were designed for a given society and a given time, and that now they made their time, we do not need them anymore and we can move on to other characters while fondly remembering them or taking inspiration from them. Erasing these characters would be stupid and absurd - but it is just as stupid and absurd to try to cling onto them constantly and to try to make them fit everywhere and anywhere (yes I am taking a jab at Disney and their perpetual recycling and their favoritism of remakes over new movies...).

.

[astrum-aetherium]

Do you think Henry and Camilla were actually in love?

the question of all questions has finally found its way into my inbox. i don't know how long this will be, but just know that i could write a novel-length essay supporting my opinion. here's a shortened version.

i've spent a long time entertaining this thought, specifically as someone who is undeniably (and evidently) attracted to henry in more ways than one. when i initially read the book for the first time in 2019, i obviously picked up on the clues donna tartt scarcely dispersed throughout the length of the novel (with the glass shard scene posing a final confirmation of her intentions for the two characters), and i must say, out of my naive and obnoxiously teenaged simplicity of perception, i did accept their (strangely established) love and even root for it; especially during henry's last scene — the actual, outspoken confession and the secret whisper — and camilla's consecutive rejection of richard's proposal with the claim she still loved henry.

however, i have matured now, read the book a few more times, and found reason to change my viewpoint completely. no, i no longer believe they were in love per se — let me elaborate. before i do, however, i have to put a TW for incest on here. it is unavoidable when talking of henry and camilla. therefore, beware. lots of mentions of incest-related trauma and the consequences thereof.

the realization that i disbelieve in their love being romantic struck me upon my first reread, because i somehow suppressed the actual outrage of camilla and charles' incestual relationship. of course, i remembered them to be romantically involved with one another, but having read the book anew at a slightly older age, i started comprehending the sheer extent of the trauma that may originate from something like that. there is an undeniable possibility of it having started as a form of abuse instead of something purely consensual (which incest very, very rarely is), and that has led me to believe that camilla, at least in future years to come, would no longer be attracted to men both romantically as well as sexually. this may very well be a response to her trauma.

here, of course, it can be argued that it was all consensual and would thus not result in trauma, but i wholeheartedly disagree with that. incest, being taboo and socially unacceptable for very plausible reasons, would generate trauma regardless of the degree of willingness the participating parties portray. that is, of course, given the parties are aware of the taboo aspect of it in the first place, which charles and camilla obviously were. however much i believe it did not, in fact, start as something consensual (once again — it very rarely does), i understand where one might be coming from with claims that it did, as this is all fiction and we simply have no possibility of knowing for sure.

to cut this tangent short — i believe camilla would develop into a lesbian based on her incest-related trauma and would therefore simply mistake her "love" for henry for devotion to his authoritative and mystifying charms and leadership skills. she would believe to be in love with him because she would simply be unaware of her sexuality just yet, given she was still participating in incestuous activity with her twin brother, and would instead seek solace in the company of another man who she does not have a familial bond with. after all, even she and francis had a small little thing (a kiss from what i can remember), and he himself is openly queer.

as for henry, this is where things get a little more complex. i sort of deride his attraction to camilla, however real it may have been, as she is, after all, the only girl in their circle. of course, i keep thinking, of course everyone will be going after her. that poor thing — not even safe from her own brother.

from henry's point of view, i think he just projected the conventionally instilled idea of finding a partner to settle down onto the first intelligent woman he came across who matched his quite specific interests. and this is not to say that camilla cannot be loved for any other reason, but i simply, honestly and truthfully, find it hard to believe that henry would ever genuinely love someone. i know that we all like to believe that he has a soft side, but i more often than not don't. he does, after all, portray antisocial and even psychopathic tendencies. and people suffering from personality disorders like that are unlikely to ever perceive authentic emotions. i think his supposed love for camilla is a result of a conventional belief being applied to encountering someone who is so similar to you interest-wise that you initially feel like they are the one. he may have felt subconsciously "forced" to find a life partner, as that is the traditional standard for humanity that even his deviant mindset cannot undo.

this is what i honestly think. trauma-induced, misinterpreted, misplaced feelings for an authoritative figure juxtaposed with a misapplied, subconscious manifestation of a conventional belief. perhaps platonic love, but certainly not romantic; strong — yes, may as well, but not romantic or, for that matter, sexual (once again, due to trauma).

i do hope this communicates my position on the matter well. thank you for asking. i enjoyed gathering my thoughts and phrasing them in conclusive sentences at last.

[lurksunderthebed]

Funnily enough i had a long ass convo with one of the dudebros that just decided to drop by and comment how Ghost and Soap are NOT GAY!!! on one of the comment's that initially didn't even mention anything about them like that other than saying "they could have been friends or something more like romantic", and this guy just lost it. Problem with them is they wanna latch onto their "role" models so desperately it threatens their masculinity when someone dares to read these characters as anything other than cis het man.

Bear with me it's gonna be one long ass essay; The need to gatekeep a certain character because their views don't aling with how the rest of us choose to interpret them because according to them, their view is a fact but ours that's not aligning with their bias is a headcanon, make it make sense. Saying and seething that "Ghost isn't GAY!!!" isn't a fact, that sounds like an agenda to me because seeing Ghost as a bi/pan anything else doesn't count in the "manly man" category for toxic dudebros because masculine men only are allowed to dominate and bang women, right? It just shows how simple minded and uneducated the lot of them really are. Cannot fathom man and a woman having a platonic bond without saying "yeah they're polygamous, that's a thing in military for men to have side bitches" whilst defending fiercely Ghost and Soap as being anything other than "bros" because they feel attacked.

Don't get me started on the whole double standard issue either; it's very hot and cute when Ghost threatens Milena but it's disgusting and no no for Ghost and Soap who literally have an established bond between them and clearly care for one another. Same goes for Valeria, they were ready to pair her with Soap just because it was a woman and a man. A man has to bang chicks lol/ This philosophy is so tiring and dumb that it just shows you how a cis het man actually sees women. And i'd go as far as to say it implies misogyny aswell. Take that as you will. But this issue is present in every sort of fandom whose target audience is mostly basement dwellers that rely on their mums for a brand new GPU.

I think the whole thing has to do with projection. When it comes to people who lash out and get ridiculously upset about these sorts of things, especially about a FICTIONAL character it's cause they view it as an attack on themselves.

Which is all sorts of sad, because we're not talking facts here or canonical events, it's about how those fans see themselves in their fav characters.

As I said earlier, you could read into people's sexualities all you want. Aside from Laswell hilariously enough, there isn't any definitive proof of het/gay/etc in any character in 141. If there was, you bet my overly analytical self would find it and make a note of it for Ghost or Soap.

There's arguably more proof on Ghost being queer than him being straight/het which is the funniest thing. The easiest read is him being just not interested in people as a whole, especially with how much he doesn't really interact with others personally (outside of Soap).

Personally, I think when it comes to those sorts of people it's best to just leave it be. No amount of actual factual basis or any sort of reason will change their minds. Because it's not the characters in question that is the issue, it's themselves as people that push their own agenda into it.

Again irony at its finest. For all the people out there upset at those pushing the "gay agenda" onto these characters, it's really themselves pushing their own values onto them. Realising this would require more self reflection than most of that vocal fanbase actually have.

[larrythefloridaman]

Hmm. Peppermint for bingo

the thing with peppermint is there are kind of two peppermints to me?

pre-nccts peppermint as-voiced-by-katie is a being so fascinatingly, hilariously, suffocatingly rancid that i felt the need to take a breather at one point when the streams originally aired and still wince going back to her scenes, an erratic obsessive creep armchair psychologist writer and masochist on a constant dizzying sugar high who happily rejects all adherence to social contract in devotion to an evil god she's actively stalking who wants nothing to do with her in pursuit of an escapist fantasy she's projected onto him. (red candy)

nccts peppermint as-written-by-ryan is a particularly unstable cringe sad wet newly crowned old god in a box all alone with abrasive and obsessive tendencies over shipping, fandom drama and her own opinions about character writing to the detriment of her ability to engage positively with the 'real world' (Relatively Speaking) outside of those lenses, her derealization and her tendency to treat other people as fictional objects to project her desires onto in violation of their boundaries only being worsened by Prism's enabling of that mindset and her possessive and obsessive desire for a tooth-rotting archie-andrews ass romantic fantasy with Crimson, but she's observant and sharp and self-assured enough to stand her ground when she realizes she's being manipulated with the promise of companionship and to not waver in her conviction that Prism is wrong. (green candy)

these arent at all incompatible, in fact they read to me as two parts, almost two perspectives, of one greater whole, but they are pretty noticeably distinct in their focus execution and tone, i think?

she's still a creep, but ryan doesn't always sell it as hard or as strongly as katie did, often leaning on common (and thus usually less shocking and by extension less effective due to not hitting as hard) 'unpredictable viscerally lonely yandere' trope stuff. Or maybe the written medium just dampens its effect- hard to explain what specifically makes katie's pep character voice so Offputting, i cant imagine it's easy trying to translate it into text without losing some of its offensive punch when you lose the element of vocal delivery, im not sure how id do it. Havent gotten to the most potent ncct pep stuff in the reread we've been doing yet, my opinions' subject to change, maybe shes worse than i remember, lol

if peppermint's character premise is summarized and boiled down to the absolute basics as 'creepy and obsessive parasocial fan of the sport' then katie put the emphasis on 'creepy' and 'obsessive' and ryan put the emphasis on 'parasocial fan of the sport' to better use her as a character that reflects the concept of fandom and position her as being on the side of characterization over strict narrative structures and expectations for the nccts' metanarrative thematic purposes, you get what i mean?

marking 'couldve been a great character if handled differently' is admittedly kind of misleading when what i really mean is 'i hope these takes on her character maybe get synthesized a little more going forward now that prism's arc villain era in the nccts is effectively over and the narrative actively problematizes her violative and antisocial behavior more again because shes less interesting to me when its treated as inconsequential in the grand scheme of things as it kind of mostly is after ncct2, and that her loneliness and the roots of how she is and why are explored more.' alas the bingo board is written in past tense. None of this is a criticism really just kinda observations of the disconnect that sometimes comes into play when a character is really Made by their voice actor in a way thats sorta lost in translation to another medium and to the hands of another writer with different goals.

All this being said, i like her! In a show about identity and connection and our responsibilities to ourselves and eachother when living in community with others, a character defined by loneliness, disconnecting from other people and their own reality and sinking deeply enough into themself and their eccentricities and what little they DO find connection through to the point of lacking consideration for others' existence as full, real people, reducing them to picking them apart as though theyre storytelling tools, trying and struggling by navigating the world around her as though its the fiction she loves with no REAL consequences, until she upset someone badly enough to be forced to consider them as a real person with feelings (relative to her as. Also A Fictional Character,) is a really interesting character concept for a metanarrative arc of the show, and her being manipulated by the godly 'author' into being her lackey through a sense of companionship and enabling that perspective on the world by letting her in on the in-universe Cosmic Secret that their world IS a fiction to someone, us, the audience... its pretty fascinating, especially because she only falls for the lie in it for so long. It does matter. It may not be real, but it does matter. And she took us believing in her so close to heart...

[pallisia]

hi im the anon who doesnt want to fuck loic youve got me all wrong! i was just trying to cheer you up i dont think its weird for people to want to fuck loic. ive wished to fuck fictional characters arguably less conventionally attractive than loic. i wholeheartedly support loicfuckers and their robbing endeavors or again whatever else it is they want to do. my real question is probably closer to, how does it feel to make up a character and keep him around in your brain for years and then you put out a representation of that character out there and people react to it. have you ever felt like you lost control of the way people perceive your characters before, like with cucumber quest? do you have a tendency to feel possessive, or maybe you've always been fairly relaxed ? youve been around for a while as well, how has your relationship with your audience changed (aside from people having been annoying about your old college comics)? has it changed?

my "Im the "Anon Who Doesn't Want to Fuck Loic" shirt is raising a lot of questions answered by the shirt. just kidding. thank you for trying to cheer me up.

the fact that people (Not You Anon) do want to fuck loic feels like a personal victory. for a long time, i did not really feel capable of creating such a character. it's nice.

it generally feels good that people care about my characters. i could be a little possessive back in the cq days, but...i dunno, it's complicated. it can still feel weird when people project themselves onto a character you made for yourself, but i try not to let it bother me as much.

i don't really know if my relationship with my audience has changed other than me becoming more reserved over the years. when i look back on some of the stuff i used to share about myself on the early days of twitter, i can't believe i was the same person... that's social media, i guess.

[vampirewillows]

Hi! Rüdeger anon here!!!

Rüdeger's reaction at Andreas finding them at the library it very telling to me personally. He doesn't reject or distance himself from Mathieu or their relationship, implying to me that he might not necessarily feel guilt over their relationship, rather like you said fear over the consequences of being found out. That's not to say he's never felt guilty or the guilt might come in waves, (because I do think that in all likelihood he might) but I think what might actually worry him is the breaking of his vows rather than loving Mathieu. I also think the fact that monastic being separated from secular life is precisely why he is able to be in his relationship, and acess/understand his queerness. A lot of monks/priests/nuns do describe being "married" to God and I suppose in that sense there is a fulfilment and comfort if you are queer and part of the clergy, maybe not being able to be in a relationship with person, but being able to acess that same affection through God. I think Rüdeger would have a complicated but not entirely fraught relationship with his faith and queerness.

Personal hc: this is totally not projection onto a fictional character lmao. But I think Rüdeger could have OCD. Especially in regards to scrupulosity/routine/his anxiety. Someone needs to get him some St Johns wort stat!!!

I have a lot of thoughts/feelings about Rüdeger/Mathieu that I can't articulate rn but I'd love to hear more of your thoughts if you're willing!!!! I hope this isn't too much spam!!! ❤️‍🔥🕊️

hi! not too much spam at all, thank you for writing back! <3

I also think the fact that monastic being separated from secular life is precisely why he is able to be in his relationship, and acess/understand his queerness

good point!! i mentioned the monastery course i took, and as an atheistic (partially anti-theistic) queer person, it was during the first lecture that i really got why someone would want to join a monastic community (sorry if that sounds condescending, i mean it sincerely). like, it's entirely possible that if i were to have lived in a different era, i would've become a nun just to escape secular obligations of marriage/children/whatnot. obvi it would've been different for men vs women but still. and also co-signed on the rest of your points

re: ocd, i admittedly don't know much about it, so i'm sorry in advance if i say very obvious OR stupid things. but i'm curious if the daily schedule of monks, which would've by its nature been very repetitive/structured/consistent, would be helpful? like finding a sense of peace and stability in the knowledge that most days are the same. and that's another reason why the town riot is so hard on him - it disrupts these routines, displaces his place in the world, potentially triggers compulsive thoughts - hence why mathieu says he's "been deep in prayer" ever since they fled to the library. like he's going back to his routines as a coping mechanism (compulsively repeating the prayer, because something is wrong > if i do x y and z it can be fixed?)

sidebar since i went back to look at that scene again, it's so so sweet how, when andreas is encouraging him to sing to the others, he says "i believe in you and mathieu believes in you" :( they're in love your honour. in general mathieu being so comforting and gentle here gives me brainrot

if at any point you have more rüdeger/mathieu (or pentiment in general) thoughts i'd love to hear them! thanks again for sending these asks <3