#me? projecting my own stims onto Roman and Logan?
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Inconvenient Urge
I am always lacking in stim toys and very rarely I have the desperate urge to bite something, usually resulting in me biting my hand or something. It's not a good habit but I'm working on it 😅 Anyway, here's me projecting onto Logan 💙 @intrulogicalweek
Masterpost | Intrulogical Week 23 Masterpost | Ao3
Summary: Remus stops Logan from developing an unhealthy habit.
Content Warnings: Remus makes one innuendo
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Logan’s jaw clenched. He’s been fighting the urge to chew on his pencil the entire time Roman had been talking their ears off about his newest idea.
It wasn’t a bad one. No, not at all. It fit Thomas’ other content well but was a bit of fresh air they needed at the moment.
No, Roman talking wasn’t the problem.
It was that Logan couldn’t sit still.
His jaw was aching.
The need to bite and chew was strong, but he didn’t have anything nearby that was in any way edible. Or seemed appetizing to him, for that matter. They had some trail mix in the kitchen, and he knew none of the others would scorn him for wanting something to snack, but the thought of tasting said snack? Almost made him nauseous.
Suddenly he understood Virgil’s habit of biting his nails a lot better.
But that was unsanitary, so instead, Logan settled for chewing on the inside of his cheek. Carefully grinding his own flesh between his teeth brought him some relief and he turned his attention back to Roman.
“You shouldn’t do that, Logie,” a voice suddenly whispered next to him. Thankfully, none of the others seemed to notice him startle and he looked over to Remus who had appeared at his left.
“Do what?” he asked quietly, not wanting to interrupt Roman’s presentation.
“Bite your cheek, duh. I mean, I personally love the taste of blood, as you know, but having a wound inside your mouth just sucks.”
“I am not drawing blood,” Logan protested. Virgil shot him a worried glance at his whisper, looking between him and the duke, but Logan shook his head to signal him not to worry. He didn’t look convinced but turned back to Roman anyway.
“Maybe not yet. But if you continue, you’ll stop paying attention to it and then it can happen oh so quickly. Oh, do you think you could bite a hole in your cheek?!”
“It is physically possible, as it is technically possible for a human to bite through their own fingers, but unless there is a dire circumstance that requires me to do so, my subconscious would stop such a thing from happening.”
“Ah, boo,” Remus pouted.
“Regardless, I am not currently injuring myself and I would like to give Roman my attention now, if you don’t mind.”
“Whatever. But take this.” Remus pushed something into his hand that upon further inspection, Logan found to be a necklace, a black string with a sort of gummy disk hanging from it.
“What is it?” he asked, intrigued.
“Chewelry. It’s a stim toy. And freshly cleaned, don’t worry.”
Logan blinked. “Don’t… don’t you need this yourself?”
“Nah, I’m not feeling bite-y today. And I got other toys to keep me preoccupied if you know what I mean.” With a wink and wide, teeth-revealing grin, Remus disappeared. Logan stared at the spot he had just been a moment longer before lifting the chewelry in his hand to his lips and biting into it hesitantly.
It was incredibly satisfying and he had no problem paying attention to the rest of the meeting.
#namiswriting#intrulogical week 2023#day 4: stimming#ts logan#logan sanders#ts remus#remus sanders#ts virgil#virgil sanders#he's there for like 2 seconds#roman is mentioned#stimming#one innuendo#chewelry#sanders sides#fanfiction#reblogs are appreciated
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Stylistic differences
Did I write over 2000 words just so I could describe what I think the sides look like/give validity to all the different version of the sides? Yes. Is this indulgent? Yes. Do I care? No. Hope y’all enjoy!
Warnings: mention of Deceit and Remus, but like, right near the end.
Word Count: 2179
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Thomas sighed, turning off his phone and leaning back into the couch. He had just uploaded the newest batch of fanart to his twitter and Instagram, and while that usually was no big deal, something about this set got him thinking. He loved all the work that his fans put into their artwork, but something that always confused him was the appearances of the sides.
Yeah, sometimes they looked like a stylized version of him, with the differences of hair styles, or glasses shape, or clothes to tell them apart, but some work portrayed the sides as completely different. Different heights, body types, hair and eye colors, and all other sorts of things to set the sides apart from each other. And there was nothing wrong with that! Honestly, Thomas loved how in-depth people got with their designs of the sides, it just made him wonder what they looked like, really.
He knew they could shapeshift but had always assumed they just looked like… well, y’know, him. He ran a hand through his hair and stood, moving to his usual spot when he called the sides up.
“Hey guys, I’ve got a question!”
“What do you need, Thomas?”
“What’s up, kiddo?”
Patton and Logan had risen at the same time and spoke over each other in the process. Patton laughed and Logan adjusted his glasses with a small smile, before addressing Thomas again.
“What is it you need, Thomas?”
“Oh, well, I have a question for all of you, so uh…” He glanced at the stairs and tv, confused. “I kinda need all of you here for it.”
Patton bounced in place for a moment. “Hold on a sec, kiddo!” He turned towards wear Roman usually stood and cupped a hand around his mouth.
“Roman, can you come here a second?” He turned towards the stairs, saying, “Virgil, time to get up! Thomas needs ya!”
Roman was quick to pop up, sliding his sword into its sheath and sending it away. “So sorry, Padre, Thomas, I was in a heated battle with a manticore. What’s up?”
“Why am I needed?” Virgil had appeared, hood up and eyeshadow smudged. He looked like he had just woken up, despite it being one in the afternoon. Logan reached forward, adjusting a stray piece of Virgil’s hair, and Virgil snorted.
“Thanks, Mom.”
Logan hummed, not seeming to be offended. “You should always try to look presentable, even if you have just woken up.”
“Hmm, I feel like I’m gonna break that rule no matter what.” Virgil smirked, pulling his hood back and trying to fix his hair.
Thomas looked between all the sides, noting that they all looked like they did in the videos. Like him. He opened his mouth, not sure how to ask what he was thinking.
“Do you guys always look like that?”
Well, certainly not like that.
Thomas winced, but the others didn’t look offended, just confused.
“What do you mean?” Patton asked, tilting his head.
“Like, well, ok, hold on.” Thomas waved his hands in the air, trying to get his thoughts in order.
“You guys have seen the fanart, right? How you guys will sometimes look different than me?” At the others’ nods, he plowed on. “And you guys can shapeshift? Do you… do you look like me in the mindscape, or do you just change to look like me when I talk to you guys?”
Roman gasped, rocking onto his toes as he smacked his legs in a quick rhythm. “Oh, oh! We look different! Oh, I was hoping you would eventually ask!” Roman’s smile brightened, and he looked to Logan. “Can we show him? Please, he asked, can we show him?”
Logan adjusted his glasses again, sighing, “I don’t see why not.” He smiled a bit at Roman’s cheer and turned to Thomas. “As Roman said, we do look different. It is simply easier to appear to you and the fan base as looking like you, but we do look a bit different when we are in the mindscape.”
“What do you all look like?” Thomas asked, turning back to the group. He huffed a laugh, though, when he saw that Roman had already changed and was flexing.
Roman was taller than Thomas, by only a couple of inches, but he appeared taller due to his stature. He was muscular and toned, as was evident by his shirt sleeve bulging around his bicep as he flexed. He was tan, too, with a strong jaw and bright smile. Roman’s eyes were green, and there was a small beauty mark under his eye. His hair swooped like it normally did, but it was a darker chocolate brown than Thomas’s was. His outfit had mainly stayed the same, but now his sword was sheathed at his hip.
“I am a true prince, as you can see!” Roman struck another pose and making a silly face, and Thomas couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped him.
“More like true pain.” Virgil said, smirking at Roman’s affronted expression.
“Oh, oh, me next!” Patton said, clapping his hands.
Thomas turned to see Patton seemingly shrinking, until he stopped just under Thomas’s chin. His hair had become lighter, almost honey in color, and was wavy. He conjured up a hair clip to keep it out of his face, and Thomas took note of the freckles that littered his hands and arms, as well as his face. Patton’s eyes stayed the same brown as Thomas’s, but they seemed to glow behind his now round frames. Thomas thought back to Patton’s comment about him and Logan having the same glasses in the sides’ first video and giggled as he realized why Patton had said that. Patton’s face was rounder, and he seemed to be softer and rounder in body shape as well.
Patton pushed his glasses up, giggling a bit. “I’m soft and sturdy like your heart, but strong,” here, he did the same pose as Roman, flexing his arms and making an exaggerated pout, “like your emotions!”
Thomas laughed, clapping as Patton stood up and gave a little bow. “Alright! What about you Logan?”
“Oh, he and Roman look similar!” Patton exclaimed.
“What, really?” Thomas glanced at Logan who nodded.
“Yeah, Specs thinks its because we formed around the same time.” Roman said.
At that, Logan seemed to brighten, and though his arms stayed by his sides, his hands were waving back and forth excitedly.
“Oh, yes, it’s an interesting theory!” He turned to Thomas, eyes bright. “Creativity and Curiosity, which was my function before I grew to be your Logic, were formed in your psyche at about the same time, making Roman and I, in a sense, fraternal twins! When Creativity split to be Roman and Remus, they became true twins, but our appearances stayed similar. There are differences, as we grew to be different functions and have different roles, namely a teacher and a prince, but there are still enough similarities for the theory to have some grounding!”
“I like to say that Logan is the twin that I should have had, versus Remus.” Roman said, smiling at the way Logan seemed to preen. Virgil snorted, glancing at Roman.
“Last week you threatened Deceit because he said something rude about Remus.”
Roman huffed, “Remus may be a brat, but I’m the only one that can be mean to him, that’s my right as his brother.” He paused, thinking it over a moment. “And I supposed Logan too, with the whole fraternal twin business.”
“I want to see the whole ‘fraternal twin business.’” Thomas said, looking to Logan expectantly.
Logan sighed, but nodded, and Thomas watched as he seemed to stretch up above Thomas. He was slightly shorter than Roman, and lankier too. Logan had the same strong jaw though, and though his hair was now pushed away from his forehead, there was one lock of hair that didn’t seem to want to cooperate, swooping down against his forehead like Roman’s did. His eyes were a bright blue, and he had a smattering of freckles across his face that stood out against his pale complexion. He gave Thomas a small smile, and Thomas could see that it was similar to Roman’s broader one. Thomas looked between Roman and Logan, and then nodded.
“Ok, I can definitely see it.”
Roman smiled brightly at Logan, rocking onto his toes again, and Logan nodded in response, bouncing onto his toes once. Thomas turned to Virgil, who still hadn’t changed, and gave him an encouraging smile.
“What about you, Virge?”
Virgil, who had been leaning against the wall, pushed himself off with a sigh. He gave Thomas a pointed look. “Don’t laugh, ok?”
“Of course! Why would I laugh?”
Virgil grimaced, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I don’t know, just don’t.”
“I won’t, promise.” Thomas said, putting up his right hand.
Virgil nodded, and for a moment Thomas thought that Virgil hadn’t done anything, until he noticed that Virgil was no longer slouching, and was simply just shorter now. He was thin, his jacket now seeming to hang off his frame, but he didn’t look weak. His jaw was more pointed, and Virgil had a strong nose. One of his eyes was green, the other a light brown, and his eyeshadow was now a dark purple instead of black. Virgil’s hair still hung down almost in his face, but it was now a dark black. Virgil shrugged, his face flushing a light pink as Thomas looked him over.
“Here I am, woo.” He said, voice flat. Patton clapped, gasping.
“Wait, Virgil show him the thing, the thing!”
“Thing?” Thomas questioned, but Virgil only laughed, relaxing.
He shrugged one arm out of his jacket, and with it no longer obscuring his legs, Thomas could see that they were toned. Virgil flexed his arm, and his bicep was toned too. Thomas gave an appreciate whistle, and Virgil laughed again.
“What can I say? Fight,” Virgil smacked his bicep. “Or flight.” He smacked his thigh.
“Speaking of fighting,” Roman said, crossing his arms and leaning to one side, “are we still on for sparring tomorrow?”
“You call it sparring, I call it ‘Virgil winning for the fifth fight in a row.’” Virgil said smirking.
Roman sputtered. “It’s not my fault you cheated last time!”
“It’s not my fault you didn’t clean up your spilt water and I took advantage of you falling!”
As the two got started to bicker, smiles on their faces, Thomas turned back to Patton and Logan.
“What about Deceit and Remus? Do they look any different?”
“Well, Remus is essentially a paler, scrawnier version of Roman, plus the mustache.” Patton explained, twirling his finger by his face as if he had a mustache himself.
“And Deceit looks similar to how you see him,” Logan continued, “Something about ‘not lying about his looks,’ which doesn’t make sense seeing as he has the curliest hair out of all of us and is almost as short as Patton.”
“Don’t forget the forked tongue!” Patton said.
“Yes, that too. So aside from the hair, height, and tongue, Deceit looks the same as you have seen him.”
Thomas nodded, thinking it over. It all made sense, and it answered the question that had been plaguing him since he started putting the fanart post together. He watched as Roman stepped closer to Virgil as they argued, eventually slinging an arm over his shoulder to mess up his hair despite Virgil’s protests. Patton walked to Logan, gesturing towards himself, and Logan obligingly bent his knees so that Patton could try to fix the strand of hair hanging down.
Watching the sides interact, their appearances made sense to him. Honestly, all the variations that he had seen made sense, too, and he wasn’t surprised at the outcome his question had created. He nodded again, satisfied.
“Alright, well, that answers that! Thanks for the help guys.” He smiled at the others, who had paused what they were doing.
Roman bowed, bringing Virgil down with him. “Of course, Thomas! I’m just glad we got to show you!”
Patton beamed, absentmindedly playing with Logan’s tie. “Yeah! Maybe we can appear like this more often?”
Thomas smiled. “I’d like that, yeah.”
Virgil gave him a quick thumbs up. “Cool. Now, Roman, let go of me!” He began struggling again as Roman laughed and began to sink them out.
“Never, Doom and Gloom!”
Logan sighed, placing a hand on Patton’s shoulder as they too sunk out. “I am not excited to break that up in ten minutes.”
“Just use the mom voice, Lo, it works every time.”
“I don’t have a mom voice, it’s just my voice.”
Patton laughed, and Thomas shook his head with a grin. The living room now empty, Thomas sat back down and turned the tv on.
Seeing the sides differently might take time getting use too, but when the evening rolled around and Logan appeared to get try to get Thomas to go to bed at a reasonable time, Thomas didn’t mind in the slightest that Logan happened to be taller than he was.
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#Patton Sanders#Logan Sanders#Roman Sanders#Virgil Sanders#Thomas Sanders#gozy writes#this is...completely indulgent#me? projecting my own stims onto Roman and Logan?#its more likely than you think#why is my brain giving me ideas for everything but my art school au???
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March Ado About Nothing
Series Summary - A series of one-shots and drabbles written based off of prompts posted in the TSS Fanworks Collective server. The goal is to take traditional whump prompts and fill them in the least-angsty way possible every day through March.
A note that though some of these fills are written bait and switch style (written in a way you think is going in one direction but reveals it to be the opposite towards the end) they are all written in a fluffy or silly style with very little, if any at all, actual angst.
Day 2: Stuff Your Secrets
Summary: Stuffed animals are good and normal to have no matter what age you are- except for Remus. Logan quickly fixes that line of thinking.
Prompts: "Please, no more!, Extreme Weather, *Dirty Secret*
Ships: platonic intrulogical (Logan & Remus)
Warnings: mild angst, guilt for having stuffed animals. Let me know if there are!
General taglist (ask to be added or removed): @/janus-is-an-adorable-snek-boi @/im-an-anxious-wreck (in an effort to not flood your inboxes I’m only tagging in the first part ^-^)
WC: 1235
Stuffed animals, with all their innocence and connection to childlike wonder and imagination, weren’t usually something that was defined as a dirty secret someone would desperately try to hide away at all costs. Having stuffed animals was normal and useful to mental health: they were soft and plushy and you could cuddle them for comfort, they were amazing to grip onto when one was sick or in pain and, if you didn’t want to feel odd talking to yourself to work out one idea or other, you could always prop them up as a makeshift audience to listen to you infodump for hours and they would never get annoyed!
So no, stuffed animals themselves weren’t the problem, nor was having them as a fully grown and “mature” adult. The problem came because the owner was Remus, and Remus had come to learn that if he had something it was automatically thought to be something gross or dangerous or disturbing- especially if that’s not what it looked lille from the outside. He was the one that would play stupid pranks of showing someone something rather cute but have it open its mouth to reveal several jaws and a tentacle, or give someone a teddy bear the melted into foul smelling ooze when they held it. Do this enough times and be repressed for a decade or two to boot and you have a reputation that- while fair in its own right if he really thought about it- make having things that were actually innocent in nature a bit problematic if he didn’t want to be scrutinized within an inch of his life.
And so, his dirty secret remained hidden even from Janus, who Remus knew would never make fun of him or judge him for something so trivial but years of hiding made him skittish anyway. The irony of intrusive thoughts hiding something definitely wasn’t lost on him but he only shook the thought away as he continued shoving his well worn friends into a drawer in the closet while shooting a look at the clock. Logan would be coming in any minute now to help him organize a few of his projects that still needed fine tuning if he was going to show his brother any time soon; even though their relationship was still a little rocky...especially after knocking him out for an entire episode and some hateful words were said by the lighter side, they had both scraped up enough indignant reluctance to apologize and begin working together- however tentatively- on a couple different things to test the waters. And Remus wasn’t worried about it all! A second opinion from someone as observant and down to earth as Logan was never hurt was all.
He had just finished shoving everything closed and willing the closet to stay shut when there was a knock at the door. Grinning wide he sank in directly behind the logical side and opened the door from behind, making the other stiffen and then roll his eyes at Remus before walking into the room, immediately going for the desk and paying no attention to the slightly disappointed pout Remus was sporting over not getting a bigger reaction. He knew Logan was just as dramatic as any other side, he just had to find a sweet spot- maybe he’d steal his jam at some point. Appearing on top of the desk he gestured to a few notebooks strewn around.
“It’s a lot so buckle in! I haven’t had an outlet for my ideas in years!”
Logan peered at him from over his glasses. “So long as nothing is explicitly pornographic or sadistic in nature I’m willing to bet most of these will be harmless enough to include somewhere in future projects.” Screwing his mouth to the side Remus simply bounced in place, never having been able to sit still for very long especially when things were quiet. Thankfully Logan didn’t seem to mind, simply skimming through various sketchbooks and notebooks and placing flashcards to mark certain spots for whatever it was he was looking for. He jolted in surprise as something cold and gooey was pressed into his hands, looking up as Logan took his hand away and resumed his task.
“To fidget with if you like, I know sitting quietly can’t be easy but I appreciate your patience.”
Blinking in surprise Remus began idly stretching the goop around, the bright green slime enveloping his hand and sticking in a way that was oddly very pleasing as a tactile stim. He’d have to make more of this at some point and see if he could bathe in it; surely Roman wouldn’t mind one of their lakes turned into slime as long as it was for creativity's sake. He was so engrossed in the wonderful new thing he held in his hands that he didn’t hear the closet food creaking until it was too late, the overstuffed doors bursting open and spilling various items out onto the floor, multiple phallic shapes and odd body pillows were the least of his worries as he watched all of the stuffed animals he had shoved away spill out into the open in all their cute, fluffy glory. His chest constricted painfully as he shot a panicked look to Logan who was regarding the plushies waily as if they would come to life and maul him at any moment- which, while as in character as that might be- for some reason he couldn’t bear the thought of them being perceived that way.
“They’re safe I swear! Just stuffed animals I uh- there’s nothing- I just like-” His throat refused to cooperate and he was left gaping stupidly as Logan set the notebook down and stood up. “No, please!”
Remus reached out for Logan, knowing what he was pleading with him for but suddenly very aware of his racing thoughts telling him to make sure he wouldn’t get into trouble- what if he told Patton, or took them away because he wasn’t meant to have them? Or-
“I’ll be right back Remus. I promise, I’m just going to get mine.”
His? He was gone before Remus could question it as he ripped and pulled and mashed the goop in his hands nervously, wishing the other had left him with more of an explanation. He didn’t have long to wait however as Logan came back in with an armload of...something that was prompt laid on his bed. As he came closer he realized they were stuffed animals- Logan’s he guessed from the teddy bear adorned with a tie and a snail with a lab coat. But there was also a well worn fluffy purple dog, a calico cat with galaxy print for spots and a stegosaurus with a rainbow scale print on it. He looked back to Logan who smiled warmly.
“You don’t have to keep them a secret, Remus, at least not for me. I’d be a hypocrite to judge you and I’m very willing to bet the other’s would be as well.”
“Bet you my bug collection!” Remus shouted before he could think. Logan pulled a face. “I’m not trading you again- last time you didn’t say they spit acid and my desk was ruined.”
Cackling he twitched a finger and the toys were back on his bed where they belonged, though he did sneak a small squid plush in with Logan’s- as thanks.
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#false writes#fluff#mild angst#hurt/comfort mild#sanders sides#sanders sides fic#logan sanders#remus sanders#platonic intrulocal
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Okay well here we go: stimming sides hq's!(aka me projecting onto everybody) Remus really likes stim toys like slimes and chewy jewelry. Virgil totally owns a fidget cube. Patton! does! flappy hands! Logan counts numbers under his breath and roman likes to go through his hair with his hands. Now Janus is a hard one bc i feel in my heart that he'd snap his fingers i just know, but,, that'd be kinda hard with gloves wouldn't it ajfksj
janus WILL make it work !! i believe in him !!!! also these are all just perfect thank u so much for this blessing yuno
#i dont think i have adhd but i do fidget a lot#and my friend one year for my birthday got me one of those tangle toys#and its so gooooood#and also i rlly want chewy jewelry#bcuz that same friend has to stop me from chewing just e v er y t hing and from shaking my leg tooo much#shxjzk#yuno !#stimmy sides#sanders sides#asks#lucy.txt
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ADHD sides hcs :3c
self projection time? self projection time
feel free to add ur own hcs onto this im jus usin my own experiences here
startin w PATTON
emotional regulation? who’s she? patton only knows feeling emotions with Every Single Atom in his body so powerfully he might one day Explode
if he’s happy hes HAPPY!!!!! it’s like his body fills with light and he’s walking 2 feet off the ground and nothing could go wrong — and then whoops, something goes wrong, and wh o o ps, hes crying, whoops —
has a million stuffed animals sitting aLL around the house so he always has something to Squeeze
Squeezing is a good stim dont @ me
he throws his whole body into stimming
flapping, bouncing, jumping, spinning — his body must be moving at all times or he will die
starting things is. Very very hard for him. executive dysfunction hits DEEP and he’s just,,, paralyzed. he wants to do the thing!!! he really does!!! his brain just Wont Let Him
logan used to get very frustrated with him but then patton like, explained how it felt and a little lightbulb went off in logan’s head
“patton, I think you have adhd.”
“... i’m guessin that doesn’t mean im a-delightful-hip-dad?”
then they did some Research together and put together a plan to help patton work around executive dysfunction and, it works, sometimes
when it doesnt, logan makes hot cocoa and sits with him
AUDITORY. PROCESSING. PROBLEMS.
“Hey, Pat, what’s for dinner?” “huh?” “I said, what’s for —” “meATloaf”
hearing is an uphill struggle so sometimes he just Signs instead but a lot of the time he gets so excited about what he’s trying to say he just dissolves into flapping halfway through the sentence
lots of hyperfixations !!!! so many !!! he cycles through em one after another suuuuper quickly
he never forgets a hyperfixation, and the mention of ANY old hyperfixations will have him cry-flapping
roman: hey did u know they’re making another phineas and ferb movie -
patton, vibrating intensely and sobbing, .5 seconds away from launching into orbit: theYR E MAKING A WHAT
ROMAN
singing is his absolute FAVORITE STIM
that moment where u reach a point in a song where ur chest just, Swells and u can feel ur voice Vibrating ? yeah
sometimes Does Not warm up beforehand bc ??? he has No Choice but to sing along to certain songs and he cant always control when they come on so his voice sometimes gets Very Raspy from belting without warmups
aside from that twirling and doing Ballet Poses are also very good stims. he stick his leggy out Real Far mmhm
roman: *starts a new project and doesnt finish it* *starts a new project and doesnt finish it* *starts a new project and doesnt finish it* *starts a new project and doesnt finish it *starts a new project and doesnt finish it* *starts a new project and doesnt finish it* *starts a new project and doesnt fin
his room is a MESS and NO he will NOT clean it LOGAN he has a SYSTEM
he doesnt have a system and the mess stresses him out to no end but he has one (1) braincell and it’s dedicated to Starting Projects And Not Finishing Them so
needs validation to survive
like legit if he doesnt get validation he will DIE
on the flip side, if he gets any sort of rejection, he will also Die
logan: so I read through your latest script, and the idea is solid. We can definitely work with this. I did notice one oddly structured sentence so I fixed that for you —
roman: so you basically hate it and i should die
rejection sensitive dysphoria is the one villain he has yet to figure out how to slay
contrary to what u might think, he keeps his hyperfixations Very close to his heart. he doesnt think he would survive it if one of the others were to criticize them
the one exception to this rule: disney.
you cant look at this boy and tell me hes not hyperfixated on disney i mean did you s E E him in that one ep cmon
he will ramble about disney to anyone who will listen for hours. days, even, if you give him the opportunity. infodumping about disney is like injecting pure sunlight right into his bloodstream; by the end of it he’s glowing
once, after accepting anxiety, virgil and roman ended up in another debate about the Meanings of disney movies, but this time it was friendly, and by the end of it roman had gotten to ramble about each and every one of his favorite movies and he had never been happier
it was the first time virgil ever saw him Flap
they still get together to talk disney sometimes
VIRGIIIIL
virgil: *stims while listening to mcr* *stims while listening to mcr* *stims while listening to mcr* *stims while listening to mcr* *stims while listening to mcr* *stims while listening to mcr* *stims while liste
like roman, Music is virgil’s main stim, but he prefers to just. Move. bouncin his leg and drumming his hands in the air and shaking his head etc etc
it takes. literally foreVER for him to trust the others enough to stim around them. music is his main comfort but, for a Long Time, he wouldnt let himself listen to it when the others were around, just bc he knew he’d want to stim and he couLDNT bc what if he got juDGED
but then one day roman starts singing and patton jumps up and starts spinning and virgils like “???” and logans like “that’s how they stim” and virgils like “!!!!”
he Tappy Leg Real Fast
he also has a string of beads he carries everywhere to twist around his fingers bc bead,,, Good Texture
he struggles with rsd just as badly as roman, but he shows it in a Different Way
roman hurts, but hes an actor. he’s not about to invite more rejection by letting them know how much their words hurt! no no no, he keeps up the bravado until hes back in his room and then he breaks
but virgil. the rsd hits and its like, a physical blow to his chest and he crumples, wilting in on himself, and the world around him just sorta, ebbs away. for virgil, rsd is static
after AA the others start to learn his Signs for when hes feeling Bad™ so whenever he shrinks away they’ll stop the conversation and talk him through his insecurities until he feels better
SPOOKY HYPERFIXATIONS ALL THE WAY
went to Halloween Horror Nights one (1) time and now listens to the music on repeat and just. stims for hours
also hes in love with austin gumbam from academy of villains me? self projecting? never
knows Every Obscure Fact from Every Horror Movie Ever and the urge to infodump is Consntantly at the forefront of his mind but he Never Does
unless someone gives him permission
virgil: oh? chucky? thats a. cool movie. did you know that — uh. nvm
logan: no no, go on
virgil, vibrating at a speed that could shatter glass: iF YOU INSIST-
LOGAN,,,,
this bitch is just as bad at Emotional Regulation as patton
hes just better at hiding it
that little stunt w the paper in lntao? he is Constantly .5 seconds away from going apeshitt. that was just A Glimpse into the chaos
he’s just,,,, very very bad at Identifying what he’s feeling. patton hid his feelings from the others, but he still knew what he was feeling, and he knows how to identify emotions
logan, on the other hand?
logan: passion and anger are both Hot. they must be The Same Thing
patton: i. i mean. not really
logan: goddamnit
or
patton: logan? are you crying?
logan, touching his cheek and finding Tears: hm. tragic. and here i thought i was “happy”
he’d much rather just,,, Not feel but thats not an option bc he still feels things intensely, he just doesnt know What he’s feeling most of the time
quiet stims. he runs his hands along the fabric of his tie, feeling the grooves of the stitches, and readjusts his glasses constantly. if he’s feelin extra wild, he’ll even pull out his rubix cube and solve and re-solve it without even looking
LOTS of obscure hyperfixations
he has so many books on so many different subjects,,,, his room is more of a library than a bedroom and thats just the way he likes it
throwback to that one time he hyperfixated on reptiles and thomas’ little “slimy boy” outburst had him chasing deceit around the mindscape trying to feel his scales “FOR SCIENCE”
memory. problems.
he HATES hates hates hates the fact that things slip his mind so easily. hence, the notebook, and the daily planner, and the deluge of postits hanging around his bedroom
it frustrates him to no end especiaLLY when he forgets important information in front of thomas
patton watches out for the signs of Frustration and brings logan a cup of tea later than day and helps him sort through the Mess of notes on his desk to catalogue the Important Info
just let logan and patton be adhd buds @god bls i beggeth
but when he does remember The Information and thomas praises him? effervescent
logan, after thomas called him cool, kicking down pattons door: I FINALLY KNOW WHAT HAPPINESS TRULY FEELS LIKE
patton: hey! cool your jets there, kiddo!
logan:
patton: :3c
logan, turning around: neveRMIND
patton: nO WAI T-
the day thomas called him cool was the first time he ever Flapped
#patton sanders#roman sanders#virgil sanders#logan sanders#sanders sides#adhd#sanders sides hcs#celeste's portfolio#woop w o o p#very Basic™ but im jus like. throwing some of My Experiences at the sides and seein what sticks so#out of this im like. mostly patton n roman#espe c I A LLY roman's singing stim my voice is SHOT rn bc ive been singing nonstop without warming up#adhd sides#legit pls add onto this !!!! i wanna see what experiences Others have
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Day 10: Unconscious
(We’ll lie, we’ll die.)
Whumptober 2019 Day 10: Unconscious
Word Count: 2065
Relationships: none
Warnings: Not unsympathetic Virgil but he is kinda an asshole in this, misunderstandings, physical violence, injury (head wound), cursing, implied neurodivergent/autistic Deceit (and mislabeling stimming as anxiety)
A/N: virgil having repercussions for his actions? i love this song!
anyway, i’m sorry i’m late every day. i’m trying my best, but i’m having to write these in about an hour or so’s time, and it’s really difficult when the prompts are longer than 1k.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Virgil’s voice obviously comes as a shock to Deceit, of whom spins around from where he’s standing at the kitchen counter and hides his hands behind himself. Even as Deceit looks surprised, and a bit weary, there’s a gleam of childish excitement, and Virgil doesn’t like the look of it a single bit. The snake-like side shifts his weight between both of his feet nervously, rocks back and forth as he shyly glances up at him with bright eyes, and Virgil has a bad feeling about this.
“O-Oh, I was, uh-- I--” Deceit stammers, refusing to make eye contact, and Virgil narrows his eyes suspiciously. What the hell is he planning this time? Back when he still lived with them, Remus and Deceit played pranks all the time, and Virgil can still distinctly remember the feeling of putting his foot in his sock and it immediately being submerged in tomato sauce. Disgusting, and juvenile, and Remus hasn’t stopped calling him Spaghetti Sock since. Isn’t he creativity? Couldn’t he be a little more… you know… creative?
“Wait, are those cupcakes? What the hell do you think you’re doing messing with Patton’s stuff?” Virgil snaps when Deceit moves a bit too far to the right, exposing the tray of cakes decorated with patterns and colours to match each of the four light sides, including himself. There are light blue ones, undoubtedly Patton’s, which he decorated with hearts and outlines of cat heads. There are red ones, for Roman, which have music notes and stars. There are ones that are obviously Logan’s in dark blue, with stripes and mathematical symbols. And then there are Virgil’s, purple swirls and bats and spiders that must have terrified Patton to draw.
Deceit looks like a deer caught in headlights, and his hand flutters at his side, quickly patting the side of his thigh over and over again. He’s obviously anxious, which is a dead giveaway that he’s up to no good. Virgil doesn’t know what the hell he’s trying to do. Is he messing up the designs? Eating them himself? Throwing them away? Virgil doesn’t think Deceit is that evil or malicious, but… what if he’s trying to poison them? What if he’s using Patton’s hard work to get back at them?
“Patton’s… stuff?” Deceit questions slowly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and the purple cupcake he’s holding in his hand is lowered. He glances down at it, turns to look at the tray for a moment, then meets Virgil’s glare with an odd gaze of his own. “But that’s not--”
“What’s going on down here? I’m trying to get my beauty sleep, hello!” Roman’s voice booms as he walks into the kitchen to stand in front of the dining table and rub at his eyes groggily. Logan follows behind, wearing plain pajama pants and a t-shirt as a contrasting juxtaposition to Roman’s boldly patterned matching set. He doesn’t say anything, just leans against the counter and crosses his arms, and his sleepy eyes are dark and neutral where they bore into Deceit.
“Deceit’s messing with Patton’s cupcakes. He won’t tell me what he’s doing,” Virgil growls in response, twisting his jacket sleeves in either hand restlessly. Deceit just looks down at his shoes, and taps on his leg faster, and Virgil wishes he’d just stop.
“What?! You fiend! How could you deface these sweet treats?” Roman asks as he pulls out his sword from seemingly nowhere, too offended to notice Deceit shrink back in what appears to be fear. What, he can pick a fight, but he runs away as soon as he’s confronted? Coward.
“That’s not--”
“Oh, quit lying, Deceit. Just own up so I can go to bed,” Virgil blusters, raises a lip in distaste when Deceit has the nerve to look upset. He’s the one who came into their home, messed with their stuff, and of course he’s gonna make himself the victim somehow. Fucking typical.
“Virgil,” Logan snaps from beside him, and Virgil whips his head to him in surprise. Is he seriously getting in trouble for this? For Deceit trying to hurt them? He’s just trying to protect them from a lying, evil snake, and Logan’s mad at him? “You are being unnecessarily harsh. Did you even see him do anything to the cupcakes? How do you know his intentions? Did you ask him, and did you allow him to speak? No matter if you like Deceit or not, you cannot accuse him of tampering and then refuse to even allow him the chance to explain himself or clear up any potential misunderstandings. He has the right to a fair trial.”
And despite Logan of course making it into literal due process, Virgil still listens. Maybe… maybe Logan’s right. He’s been stressed out all day, and he’s exhausted from the panic attack he had a few hours ago, so… maybe he’s bringing that negativity with him. He’s… what did Dr. Picani call it? Projecting. He’s projecting his frustration onto Deceit. He just needs to calm down and try to see a different perspective. Right.
“They’re Patton’s cupcakes. I didn’t make them. I was making them look worse. They taste like shit now. I hope you hate them,” Deceit rushes out, and his eyebrows furrow immediately. He looks frustrated, and confused, and a little bit panicked, and Virgil doesn’t see any of it. Instead, he sees Patton’s dejected face when he realizes that Deceit ruined the cupcakes he made for them, the way he’ll be so sad that Deceit can’t be good, that he’s nothing more than a snake. He’s angry. So angry. And Roman lets out an insulted “Hah?!”, shows the same emotion Virgil is feeling.
“What the fuck? Who the hell do you think you are?” Virgil snarls as Deceit sets the themed cupcake that was in his hand back into its place in the pan. His head buzzes like a swarm of wasps filled with ire, and he’s itching to do something he can’t pinpoint.
“Wait, no, he’s--” Logan starts, but a single indecipherable look from the snake-like side cuts his words off. The exchange is odd, and feels too familiar to be between the two, and Virgil doesn’t even care.
“I’m not gonna-- I’m gonna leave now,” Deceit chokes out, expression distressed and mouth wobbling, and Virgil’s so fucking mad. How dare he try to throw himself a pity party? Fake-crying, seriously? Who the hell believes that? And then Deceit is clutching at his cape with white knuckles, hunched over as he tries to sweep out of the kitchen, and-- no. He’s not just going to come in here, mess up their shit, and get away with it.
In a single motion, Virgil shoves Deceit forward, watches his panic and shock when he stumbles. He watches the fear flash through his eyes, the betrayal, the resignation, and Virgil falters too late.
Deceit’s head ricochets off the edge of the counter, smacking into the granite countertop with a loud thump. The others cringe in sympathy, wince when his iconic bowler hat is sent flying to the ground where it skids to a stop beside a chair. His body comes down with him, descends when his knees give out from the pain, and his limp arms fall to rest in front of him. He slowly pulls in on himself, and then relaxes completely with his body curled around the edge of the cabinet.
“Virgil! I may have had my own outbursts before, but I cannot condone unprompted violence!” Logan hisses, reprimands digging deep to unearth the tiny loose thread of guilt from the fray ripping into Virgil’s psyche. That… that was too much, even for him. What the hell? He’s-- he’s not supposed to be the bad guy! He’s been trying to be better, and at the first sign of provocation, he immediately becomes worse than the one he’s angry at? He stooped that low in a matter of moments?
“Come on, we all know we can’t get injured. Quit being dramatic,” Roman sighs as he puts his sword away. Even he glances at Virgil with the slightest hint of surprise, crosses his arms and shifts his attention to Deceit. He looks exasperated but empathetic, something that is far from mirrored on Virgil’s own face. “Deceit. Seriously. I know that wasn’t cool of Virgil, but there’s no point in dragging this out.”
And Deceit… doesn’t answer. He may be a liar, and a slippery snake, but he has nothing to gain from faking being hurt, so what is he doing? Is he trying to guilt-trip Virgil? Not that he… not that he doesn’t kinda deserve it, but it’s an… annoying way to go about making him apologize. Which he might not even do, if Deceit’s still being an asshole when he gets up. But then Logan is kneeling down beside Deceit, shaking his shoulder with an uncommon worry in his eyes, and suddenly this whole thing doesn’t feel as nonchalant as before. “Deceit. Deceit. Wake up. Deceit!”
He doesn’t wake up.
Then Logan rolls Deceit over, displays the blood coming from the cut on the snake-like side’s forehead, shows how his head rolls to the side without any resistance, and Virgil feels his heart leap into his throat. What the fuck. What the fuck. He didn’t-- He may have been mad, but he wasn’t trying to seriously hurt him! Why isn’t he getting up? They’re sides, for Christ’s sake, they can’t get injuries like that! They heal almost instantaneously!
“He’s-- he’s not waking up. I think-- maybe he can’t wave the wound away because he was knocked unconscious? But he still should have woken up by now. I don’t understand,” Logan mutters, talks in circles around himself with a rapid-fire pace. His thoughts are clearly hard at work, assessing all available information and possible outcomes, and Virgil’s hands are shaking. Why isn’t he waking up?
“Kiddos? Why is everyone awake so late? W-- What happened in here?!” Patton shrieks as soon as he sees the blood, and his hand shoots up to cover his mouth. He has to turn and lean on the kitchen door frame for support, uses the other hand to cradle his queasy stomach, and Virgil is simultaneously relieved and terrified.
“Deceit came in here and messed with the cupcakes you made, and then Virgil got mad and pushed him,” Roman informs plainly, hands clenched at his sides with the stress of not being able to do anything to help. Virgil is in the same boat himself. His fingers twist around each other, fidgety as he incredulously watches Logan attempt to wave away the wound and subsequently fail.
“But I didn’t make cupcakes,” Patton says worriedly, eyes perturbed as he seems to try to mentally extract information from the two still standing. Of course, he can’t read their minds, so he can only speculate himself, and that allows his brain to finally process Roman’s words. “Wait, Virgil pushed him? Virgil, that’s not okay!”
“But-- you didn’t make them? Then wh--” Virgil starts, but then his voice gets locked in his throat when he comes to the obvious realization. Fuck. Fuck! He… those were… why?! Why did he just stand there? Why didn’t he just say s--
Oh.
“This is what happens when you jump to conclusions, Virgil. I thought you’d moved past this type of childish behaviour, but clearly my expectations were too high. Deceit obviously made cupcakes for us, went to the trouble of decorating them with our preferred colours and themes, and you knocked him unconscious for it,” Logan says angrily. His words are charged, and they’re completely true. Virgil can’t-- he’s so stupid. He was so caught up in himself he didn’t even bother to look at the full picture. He knows what it’s like to be the outcast, knows what it’s like to try to fit in and appeal to people the only way he knows how, and yet he still… He demonized Deceit without even bothering to put himself in his shoes. He shouldn’t even need to, because he’s been there, and he still ruined what was obviously meant to be a thoughtful gift to make peace with them. He’s such an asshole.
“I hope you’re happy with your choice, Virgil,” Logan mumbles, and Patton is conflicted, and Roman can’t even look at him, and Virgil knows he’s seriously fucked up.
#whumptober2019#no.10#unconscious#ts sides#sanders sides#ts deceit#deceit sanders#deceit angst#neurodivergent deceit#autistic deceit#(implied)#ts virgil#virgil sanders#asshole virgil#ts logan#ts roman#ts patton#sympathetic patton#misunderstandings#tw injury#tw blood#physical violence#cursing#tw cursing#jasper's writing
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