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bella-rose29 · 11 months ago

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Deck the Halls (and not your partner) - part 5

Christmas Eve part 2

Word count: 4.1k

Warnings: swearing, family members are mean (are we seeing a pattern?), can you tell that I love lebkuchen from the number of times it got mentioned, they kiss again but for like 2 seconds, then they kiss again later for longer than 2 seconds 👀, reader's grandpa isn't supportive of her job (but it's ok because lockwood saves the day), a pigeon was harmed in the making of this chapter (but it lives!), drinking (alcohol), lockwood talks about his family and the Christmases he spent without them, reader comforts him, there is so much communication but somehow so much miscommunication at the same time??? and I'm annoyed at myself for doing this (but it's necessary), this part does not have a happy ending at all (I'm sorry)

series master list

"Well," Lockwood started, looking around at everyone gathered. "I suppose it started in March."

He paused for a moment, trying to figure out where to go from there. "We were on a job, just the two of us, in Kensington. A couple wanted their house clearing out before they properly moved in, and called us. Everything was going perfectly fine, and then we realised that our clients hadn't told us everything about the property, and we were dealing with three Limbless in an enclosed space." Y/n remembered that job well. It was one of the few cases that she'd actually gone on with just Lockwood, and they had been arguing for most of it about the best way to get rid of a Limbless.

Their argument had attracted the other two that were out in the garden.

"Y/n was brilliant, of course, using her Talent to locate the Sources of the three of them while I covered her, but I got held up in the corridor by some Type Ones that had appeared and she was left on her own. I only just got there in time to throw a salt bomb at the Limbless behind her and give her the extra second that she needed to wrap up the Source, but I don't think I've ever been more scared in my life. I really thought I was too late and that I'd lost her." His voice sounded thick with emotion, and when Y/n met his eyes they were watery. She tried not to frown, since it was strange for her to see him so affected like this. Lockwood cleared his throat, and looked back at the crowd. "Then of course I realised that I couldn't live without her and I asked her on a date. She said no, despite my attempts at baking her favourite cake and all the flowers." He cracked a smile, and people around the room laughed.

"Well you did look rather pathetic, Ant. I sort of wanted to watch you suffer a bit more." That much was true at least, since any time she got to watch him squirm was entertaining to her.

"Well you certainly got your share of that, darling," he huffed, and Y/n bit back a snort at the frustrated look on his face. "I had to ask her about six times after that first one before she finally said yes. We've been dating since the middle of April."

"It was eight, but who's counting?" Something about his story didn't sit right with her, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Maybe it was how close it was to what had actually happened on the job, or maybe it was the dread of all the questions she'd get about her job once people started mingling, wanting to know if she had a backup plan in case this line of work failed, or if she realised how dangerous it was.

Maybe it was the way that Lockwood had looked at her when he was talking about losing her.

~~~

"What are your intentions with Y/n?"

"Don't be stupid," John said, whacking his brother Sam on the arm.

"No, but really, what are your intent- oof!" Sam had been tackled to the floor by John, and Lockwood did his best not to flinch.

He'd been dragged into the library a few minutes ago by Y/n's brothers, and although he was the smallest, Tom was currently the most frightening as he stared Lockwood down from across the room, despite the two eldest brothers currently scrapping on the floor.

"Did... did you want me to answer that, or...?"

"I mean, it would be nice to know," Will piped up, eating straight from a packet of lebkuchen in the armchair opposite. Lockwood didn't think he'd ever seen the man without some sort of food nearby. He sat forward in his chair slightly, trying to come up with a good enough answer that would mean he could go back to the party. John and Sam stopped punching each other to hear his answer.

"I'm mostly just happy that she even gave me a chance, if I'm being honest." That much was true, but Y/n's brothers didn't need to know that he was talking about her acceptance of a position at his company and not the mythical relationship that the two of them had been in for eight months. "I know that I'm incredibly lucky to have her, and I can promise you that I won't do anything to screw that up."

Sam and John seemed happy enough with his answer, and Lockwood started breathing a little more easily. Tom was still staring at him, and Lockwood could have sworn that the boy hadn't blinked the entire time. Will snorted, shaking the bag around to get the last crumbs of lebkuchen out. "Yeah, sure. What's the real answer? No more of that crap, because it's obvious you rehearsed that to make us happy." When Lockwood didn't say anything for a moment Will prodded him again. "Go on."

He clenched his jaw, wondering how he could say anything nice about Y/n when she hadn't said anything nice about him for nearly three years, and looked out the window. A memory flashed up, and despite it having only been that morning, he was surprised at how quickly he'd forgotten the interaction.

Since when had she memorised how he took his tea?

He didn't think that Y/n had ever made him tea before, always making it a deliberate point to make a pot for everyone but him, and yet that morning while they sat in bed she had done it perfectly as though it were second nature. Then his mind drifted back to the night before, and he felt his face warm up at the memory of the mistletoe. He cleared his throat.

"I guess..." Lockwood sighed through his nose and clenched his jaw again. It was starting to ache. "I guess that's true, what I said before-"

"You guess?" Will interjected. Lockwood hadn't thought that he would be under this much scrutiny, but he was starting to sweat uncomfortably. He'd rather be dealing with Barnes right now than be sat here.

"It is true," he amended, making wary eye contact with the man. The packet of lebkuchen was neglected in Will's hand, hanging limply as he sat forward to question his younger sister's boyfriend. "She's incredible - the most incredible girl I've ever met - and I truly am aware of how lucky I am that she chose me. I'm not exactly... easy... to be around sometimes because of my agency, but she deals with me perfectly. She deals with me more than she should, to be honest." He frowned, thinking again about how he needed to figure out how to apologise to her. Nothing he had said was a lie; in fact, he didn't think he'd said anything more true about Y/n the entire time that he had known her. She was incredible, since her Touch was so powerful and unlike anything that he had ever seen before. And he did count himself lucky that she, despite his horrible words, still decided to work for him. And she did deal with him, more than anybody should, and she did it by being just as much of an arse to him as he was to her.

Maybe they were good together after all.

A thud on the window made everyone turn to look at what had made the noise, and Tom finally broke eye contact with Lockwood.

"Pigeon," Sam said, having been closest to the window. "I think it might be- oh no, it's just got up and flown off. Don't tell Mum though, she'll have a fit if she sees the mark it left."

"Alright, I think we're done here. You're free to go, Lover Boy," Will said, waving his hand vaguely at Lockwood and scrunching up the empty lebkuchen packet. Lockwood got up to leave, but upon opening the door a body fell face first into his chest with a small 'oof!'

"... Darling?" Lockwood asked, confusion lacing his voice. The figure looked up and offered a smile.

"Oh, hi! I was just... wondering where you were, Anthony." He tried to not let it show how much it affected him to hear his first name in her mouth, but the slight intake of breath that he took probably gave him away. It didn't help that Y/n was in that dress, since she looked so stunning that he couldn't focus on anything but her.

"You're so obsessed with each other," Lockwood heard Will mutter from behind him, and he realised with a start that they had just been staring at each other and blocking the doorway, penning the others in the library. When they went to move, however, Sam stopped them.

"Mistletoe! You can't break tradition!"

"Ugh, again? Did Mum plant an entire fucking garden of it?" Y/n said, peering up at the sprig that hung over their heads. "They're not gonna let us leave without doing it."

"Alright. Let's get it over with then," he whispered into her mouth, and he couldn't help but feel the exact opposite when she pressed her lips to his.

~~~

"So," Y/n's grandfather Richard started, and internally she groaned. He had used the tone of voice that meant he was about to start asking about work, and she was dreading this conversation. "Being an agent. Are you still sure it's what you want to do with your life, Y/n?"

"Yes, Gramps. I'm sure. I have been doing it for years now."

"But there are so many other things you could be doing! Jobs that you could actually be good at!"

That stung a little, and Y/n sat back slightly in her chair. She loved her Gramps, and most of the time he was one of her favourite family members, but he'd been alive before the Problem had started and didn't understand that things had changed since he was a kid. He believed in her in most other ways, just not when it came to her life as an agent, which was one of the only things she was truly passionate about (other passions included drinking tea and hating Lockwood).

"I don't mean to intrude," a voice piped up, and once again Y/n found herself wondering how the hell Lockwood managed to always turn up at the right time. "But Y/n is one of the best agents in the country, sir. Her Talent is so incredibly unique and that's what makes her so brilliant at her job." He perched on the arm of the chair that she was sat on, and she frowned when she felt the urge to rest her head against his thigh.

"Well how can you possibly know that!"

"Gramps, this is my boyfriend, Anthony? You met him briefly last night?"

"Oh, is it? Right, well I suppose you would know then! Tell me, is she too much of a pain sometimes?!"

Lockwood hesitated slightly, glancing down at where Y/n sat in the chair and frowning a little at her Gramps' question. "If anything I'm the pain. I don't know why she keeps me around to be honest." He sounded so sincere about it that for a moment she forgot that he had ever said anything horrible about her. The rest of their conversation faded into background noise as she remembered what she'd overheard earlier.

It was probably breaking all sorts of moral laws to eavesdrop on her brothers' interrogation of Lockwood, but then again she'd made her boss her fake boyfriend to fool her entire family, so she figured that she was well past being entirely moral about things. And besides, she hadn't been intending on listening in at first, she'd just been walking back from using the loo and happened to hear them. She couldn't get Lockwood's words out of her head, and she'd been replaying them over and over since.

"She's incredible - the most incredible girl I've ever met - and I truly am aware of how lucky I am that she chose me."

What the hell did that mean? Was it a lie that he'd made up to make them happy? But then she'd also heard Will prodding for the truth and his exclamation that whatever Lockwood had said before (which she hadn't heard) was obviously fake, so did he just come up with a better lie?

Tonight, she thought. Tonight I'll talk to him.

~~~

When the last guests had stumbled out of the front door, singing loudly and bumping into each other because they had had too much to drink, everybody left in the house let out a sigh of relief.

Y/n mumbled a tired 'good night' to everyone as she pulled herself upstairs, and Lockwood followed after her. He'd been helping her father tidy up a little before turning out the lights, to save some of the food that needed refrigerating and chucking other things in the bin. She had been worried when her dad first started talking to Lockwood, but then she'd heard her father laughing and had decided that they would be perfectly fine together.

Now she collapsed face first onto the bed, not yet worrying about the chill in the room.

"I can see why you were dreading that," Lockwood said, his voice sounding too loud. She'd had to down a few drinks that afternoon to deal with the sheer number of questions and comments from family members and friends, and now her head was aching slightly.

"Can you get me some water?" she asked, but since her face was still buried in the duvet it came out muffled. Lockwood's footsteps shuffled around for a while, and then went silent, and Y/n huffed in annoyance. Of course he'd just get himself ready for bed and not worry about her, that was so typical of him. She pushed herself upright, wincing when the room wobbled a little and the pain increased in her head, then frowned when Lockwood reappeared, something in his hand.

"Here. I couldn't find any painkillers though, so I'll just go and fill that up when you're done so you can try and sober up before bed."

Oh. Maybe he wasn't being so typical after all.

"Thanks," she muttered, taking the glass from him and eyeing it warily.

"It's not poisoned, darling. If I was going to kill you I wouldn't do it in a way that might mean you could come back to haunt me."

"Charming."

He sat down on the bed next to her with a sigh, picking at a loose thread on his sleeve. "You know," he said, not looking at her. "This hasn't been... the worst Christmas I've ever had."

"No? You're spending it with me." He gave her a wry smile, finally bringing his gaze up to meet hers.

"Yeah, that's not really that bad."

Oh.

"Really?"

He hummed in answer, nodding slightly, then got up and walked over to the fireplace. They sat in silence while Y/n finished off her water and Lockwood got the fire going, and once she headed over to sit next to where he was crouching she realised how cold she had been before. He sat back, leaning on the chair behind him. Y/n was hunched over her knees, empty glass dangling in her grip. She could have done the same as Lockwood with the armchair behind her, and god knew her head needed something to rest against because despite the water dulling the ache it was still pressing against her temples, but she didn't think she could see Lockwood's face at that moment.

"The first Christmas after Jess passed was the worst."

Her head snapped to look at him where he sat to her left, but he was staring into the fire, eyes transfixed on the flames but looking at something far away. She didn't say anything, instead just letting him go ahead in his own time.

"The ones after my parents died were hard, sure, but at least I had Jess around and we knew what the other was going through. Then she was gone too, and I was nine years old in a big house that was suddenly empty of the family I had spent my life being loved by."

She knew that his family were dead since the absence of any of them was shockingly present in 35 Portland Row, but he had never told her anything. She'd had to learn it all from Lucy, George, and Holly.

"That first one was horrible. I don't think I stopped crying for longer than an hour the entire time, and I couldn't sleep because I kept replaying it over in my head. I could have helped," he whispered, and Y/n could see that his eyes were glistening in the light of the fire. "I could have saved her, if only I hadn't-" he cut himself off, his voice growing too strangled to continue. Quickly she placed her hand on his arm, turning her body to face him.

"Hey, hey," she said quietly, drawing him into her arms. Her glass had been abandoned on the floor, her hands now holding Lockwood's body in her lap instead. His head was resting on her chest while his arm wrapped around her stomach, the other supporting his weight, and Y/n told herself that she was only allowing this to happen because she hadn't yet sobered up.

She wasn't sure how long they were there for, her leaning back at an awkward angle to allow room for Lockwood to lie on top of her and curl into her side while he sniffled, but after a while she found that she didn't mind stroking her fingers through his hair (which was surprisingly soft) or having his weight on her (it was like having a weighted blanket).

"Thank you," he muttered after a while, sitting up and wiping at his face. He paused in his movements when he realised that their faces were much closer together than was normal for two people that didn't like each other. The memory of that morning when she had smoothed out his collar and he had been about to say something came back, and when his gaze flicked between her eyes and her lips she drew in a breath.

"Anthony?"

And then he was surging forward, kissing her with the same passion that he had hated her with while she reached up to grab his shirt, not caring that she was wrinkling the fabric that she herself had smoothed out that very morning. How could she think of anything but him when the two of them had finally crashed together like a tsunami hitting cities?

How could she think of anything but him when he pulled her on top of him?

And how could she think of anything but him when he sighed her name into her mouth and it sounded sweeter than the tea he drank?

And then she was thinking about him entirely, and remembering everything that had happened since they met, and suddenly kissing him was a terrible idea.

"She's not good enough for the company."

She pushed away from him with a start when those words blared in her mind like warning alarms, the memory of what she had overheard in the library around four months after starting to work for Lockwood and Co. She hadn't heard anything before, but the disdain in Lockwood's voice told her it was about her. She had run upstairs to make sure she didn't hear any more of what he thought about her.

"Y/n?" he asked now, voice hoarse from crying and kissing, and his expression was desperate as he watched her press her hand to her lips and take shaky breaths. "Y/n? What is it? Wh-"

"Don't," she snapped, standing up and trying to forget the feeling of his hands on her body. "Don't... just don't, Lockwood." He was getting up too, scrambling after her and reaching out to stop her from slipping away.

"I don't understand-"

"Don't understand what?! We can't- we hate each other, Lockwood!" The venom in her voice made him stumble back a few steps. "You never wanted me at your company and you made sure that I knew that!"

"I-"

"I heard you telling the others that I wasn't ever going to be good enough for you, and then a few hours later after a job you're telling me that my Talent is incredible?! What am I supposed to think?! And then you spend the next however many years being a complete dick to me and complaining about me, so I do the same because clearly being nice didn't work, and now you're here at my fucking family Christmas event pretending to be my boyfriend and kissing me when you don't need to-"

"Of course I need to! I know I was horrible to you-"

"An understatement," she scoffed, crossing her arms.

"-but I'm trying to figure out how to apologise to you because I know that I've fucked up and I need to fix it!"

"So you kissed me?!"

"No! Yes! That wasn't an apology!" He rubbed his hand over his face, clearly frustrated with how it was going. "It was a mistake- no, Y/n, I didn't mean it like that!"

"A mistake?" she whispered, her eyes stinging with fresh tears. "Kissing me was a mistake?"

"No," he said, tone filled with desperation. "No, Y/n, I just meant that I shouldn't have done it before apologising to you because then it would seem like... I don't know! Like I was doing it just to try and trick you into accepting my apology or something!"

"Were you? Doing it to trick me? Because right now I can't tell what the truth is, Lockwood!"

"It wasn't a trick. It was never a trick, and I'm an idiot-"

"Yes, you are."

"Would you just listen to me?!" he shouted, anger seeping in to his body, and Y/n took a step back at the look in his eyes.

"What, like how you listen to me?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Yesterday, on the platform, when I was talking about my family being a lot and how it was hard for me and I'm actually related to most of them, and I couldn't imagine how hard it would be for someone to be introduced to all of that in one go. You just assumed that I meant it would be hard for you because your family is dead, and then when I tried to explain you cut me off and gave me the cold shoulder because you didn't fucking listen, Lockwood. What I meant was it would be a lot for anyone, no matter their own experience. Hell, even George has said that he would rather be blocked from the Archives for life than ever meet my family, and he's got almost as many relatives as me!"

Lockwood didn't say anything for a minute, instead just standing still and staring at her while the fire in his eyes died down, and Y/n shook her head. "This?" She gestured between the two of them. "This will never work. We will never work. Because you never wanted me and no matter how much I want you to like me in the same way that you like the others, you never will. And I will never be good enough for you." That was one more person to add to the list of people that she needed to meet unnecessarily high expectations for in order to be even noticed. She wiped at the tears that had slipped down her face while she was talking, the salt making her cheeks itch.

"You're right," Lockwood finally said. "I won't ever like you in the same way as the others." He stopped there, looking down at the floor. When he went to speak again, however, he lifted his head to an empty room, and the bathroom door shutting him out.

Y/n ignored his attempts to talk to her through the door, shoving the duvet and blankets that she had quickly grabbed into the bathtub and plugging her headphones into her walkman so that she didn't have to hear the rest of his cruel words and excuses.

She had craved something different with him, and it had fucking destroyed her.

And now she had to wake up on Christmas Day and pretend that she was hopelessly in love with the fake boyfriend who had just broken her heart.

part 6

Tag list: @ahead-fullofdreams, @aislinrayne, @anathemaloren, @augustisintheair, @avdiobliss, @aysha4life, @bobbys-not-that-small, @briar-rose23, @curseofhecate, @dangelnleif, @edible-rat-vomit, @el-de-phi, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @ettadear, @fearlessmoony, @fudosl, @idkbubs, @informedimagining, @karensirkobabes, @locklyebrainrot, @locklyle1kanij, @locknco, @mentallyillsodapop, @mischivana, @mitskiswift99, @mrsklockwood, @mrsyixingunicorn10, @newbooksmell777, @no-morning-glories, @novelizt, @phlooper, @ran23sblog, @simrah1012, @somethingrandomwatzit, @star-of-velaris, @superpositvecloudshipper, @t2sh0, @taygrls, @tournesol77, @whenselenefallsinlove, @wordsarelife

let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the tag list! <3

#lockwood and co #lockwood & co #anthony lockwood #anthony lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood x you #lockwood x reader #deck the halls (and not your partner)#enemies to lovers #fake dating #christmas

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zeroclockk · 6 months ago

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— ⋆˙⟡ Love Your Feeling (JJK) || Chapter two

- Making Mistakes₊˚⊹♡

He looks in my eyes, tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “You look good today” he says. That's it, I kiss him.

Pair: jjk x femOC, college students, best friends

Word count: 6.6k

Warning: this chapter includes explicit scenes⚠️

masterlist || taglist

!Friends to Lovers, Protective Brother, Secret Dating, Friends with Benefits, Angst, Mature content, Dysfunctional Family, Fluff, Smut, Mentions of Alcoholism and Abuse

——————————————————————₊˚⊹♡

It's a perfect warm spring day, perfect for a party. I see the bus coming into my peripheral vision, looking up from my phone. AirPods in my ears, blasting some ransom hype playlist Spotify made for me. I check in and sit down.

Last party I've been to must've been a few weeks ago, so needless to say I'm quite excited for tonight. Need to get my mind off of school for a second. The bus ride feels slow. Arriving at Jia's and Nabi's place, a little before 6.30.

They only live 5 minutes away from campus. Bought their own little apartment when they enrolled here. It's nothing fancy, right outside of the campus area, into an alley. It's mostly 20+ year olds living here since it's so close to school.

They all got to know each other over time. To the left are the residential units. They look like the big Minecraft houses. The two story oak plank houses, with double doors, staircase in the middle and a farm in front of it.

It's basically like that. Big two story house, staircase in the middle of it, leading to two doors. One on the left and one on the the right.

It's basically split in four parts. Jia and Nabi live on the left upper floor. The bottom floor belongs to someone else.

On the right side you have the exact same layout, only mirrored. The person who has the top floor is blessed with an attic, whilst the bottom floor can enjoy a little bit of garden space.

It might look small, but it's actually not. It'll surprise you how spacious it is. There's 3 of these units pasted next to each other, Counting a left and right side of a unit one.

On the right side of the alley there's a convenience store. At the end of the path it curves left around the store, to access either the big road or more units. Never been there, so I wouldn’t really know.

Jia and Nabi live in unit one. the first one to your right, as you walk through the alley. I go up the stairs, turn my body to the left and ring the doorbell.

Staring at the welcome mat beneath my feet, I hear some rummaging behind the door. At the same time I hear footsteps coming up the stairs, and I look to see who’s approaching me. It’s Minnie.

"HEYY!" I say opening my arms to hug her. "Missed you yesterday you know" I smiled.

"Sorry" she giggles, smile from ear to ear.

We hear a big thud from behind the door, turning our heads to where the sound came from. "Ouch"

I try not to laugh, pressing my lips together and covering them with my hand. Then the door swings open. "FINALLY!" Jia says

"We're on time Gi" I say setting foot in their house.

“EVEN ME!” Minnie says. She does tend to get late.

"Expected you earlier" she says walking past us, running upstairs. Both Minnie and I follow her, to the attic. They've got two bedrooms, a bathroom, living room and a kitchen, on the first floor.

They turned the entire attic into a walk in closet, devided into two parts. One side for Nabi, vanity on the left wall. Other side for Jia, mirroring Nabi's side.

"So.. I was thinking" Jia starts "Black denim, mini skirts" she smiles.

"I hear ya" I say.

She starts frantically looking through her closet. "We need to look hot and sexy, but also casual"

"Gigi it's just a house party" Minnie rolls her eyes, sitting down in her vanity chair.

"Kai's house party" she says "Wrong.. the football teams house party" She answers. Tilting her head back, dyed platinum blonde hair hanging over the back rest. "Yeah and Kai is gonna be there"

She continues pulling out pieces of clothing from her closet, occasionally moving to Nabi's side to find specific pieces of clothing. Slowly creating 4 different, matching outfits.

"Where's Nabi at?" I wonder. "Oh! She's getting groceries, she's cooking pasta" she answers. Head buried in between the clothes.

There's not really much to do for me. Nabi's in charge of dinner, and Jia's in charge of the outfits.

Outfit one:

Classic black denim mini skirt, has a light wash to it. White crop top on top of it. White socks, and platform converses for foot wear.

Outfit two:

Same classic black denim mini skirt, with the light wash to it. A black crop top. And again the same white sock, and platform converses.

Outfit three:

Black denim mini skirt again, it has a star on the right side of it. Classic black crop top. White socks, black adidas campus shoes.

Outfit four:

Black denim mini skirt, this time it ruffles midway through. Instead of the usual tight fit. White crop top. Again white socks, white new balance 550's. It's certainly matching.

"This one's for Minnie" she says. Grabbing the stacked pieces of clothing in one hand, the shoes in the other.

"Ruffles for you" she smiles, eyes sparkling. Stretching her arms out, handing her the outfit.

"No platform for you two since you're the tallest ones" she once smiles again. Chin down a little. Eyes up, looking at Minnie through her lashes.

It's true, we're not specifically 'tall'. Nabi and Jia are just really short. Had fought about it many times to see who’s taller. Since Nabi and I only have a height difference of two centimeters. The rest doesn’t need discussion, Minnie sticks out compared to the rest of us. And Jia well… you can certainly see she’s the shortest. Shes 153cm, only wears platforms to appear taller. Minnie is right about 167cm. I'm next reaching 160cm.

She walks back to where she's put the different outfits, then we hear the door open. It must be Nabi coming back from the store, she's a really good cook.

There was this time. I couldnt to stay home, for many reasons. Ran to their unit, crying. Phone was smashed, cards left at home. I was unable to pay for the bus, took me a while to get there. They took me in for about 3 weeks, until I decided it was enough. Couldn't keep living under their roof for ever.

Nabi even gave up her room for me, slept in a bed with Jia the entire time. They told me not to worry, and that I'm welcome anytime. Just felt like I was being a burden sometimes, when they had guests of family over.

Needless to say I know what her cooking tastes like, and it never disappoints.

"NABS COME UP HERE, BRING WINE!" Jia yells, from her closet. And not much later, Nabi comes upstairs. Four wine glasses, and a bottle of rosé in her hands.

"Heyy!!" She says to us. Lifting the bottle of wine up in the air, swinging it a little as she smiles. Scurrying over to Jia's vanity, the one Minnie's sitting at again.

She places down the four glasses, and fills them with the rosé.

"Ohh we're matching matching?" She asks. looking up at Jia, giving her, her glass.

"What? How could you tell?" I say laughing within the words. Utterly confused, I mean there's still three outfits lying there.

She turns around, looking at me. "Do you really think she'd give you the platforms? It’s an easy giveaway, you're second tallest" she explains. It’ll always be a petty competition. You’re taller, you do it! Whilst the gap isn’t even that big. Jia shrugs, satisfied smile plastered on her face “What can I say, she knows me” I gotta give her that.

Then Nabi walks over to me, gives me one of the glasses she's holding and sits next to me on the stool. The kind of stools you see in one of those fancy walk in closets, I guess you could call this a fancy walk in closet.

"Sooo.. Minnie" I laugh, leaning over to look at her, past Nabi. "Who's the lucky guy?" I raise my eye brows. She groans, leaning her head back once again.

"You know we'll find out one day, especially with Jia's detective skills" Nabi says.

"Oh please let me know once you do, I'll enjoy the privacy in the mean time" she answers, sipping her wine. Everyone just sighs, clicking their tongues.

"Okay okay, calm down" she says, Signing with her hands to 'sush' us. "He's tall, black hair, broad shoulders, he's got thick lips and is utterly handsome, he's funny, a gentleman and he goes to our school" she says.

"Oh god, do we know him?" I ask. "Stop no this is so exciting!!" Jia exclaims. Minnie just stays quiet, keeps on sipping her wine.

"C'mon, show us a picture" I say, but all she does is just shake his head. "Someday babes, just not today" she laughs.

"Enough about mystery boy, you guys should get changed."

"Here" Jia says, grabbing My outfit. The one with the star on the skirt, and gives it to me.

Walks back to the two outfits that are left. Grabs the one with the black top, and gives it to Nabi. Getting all of us changed, Jia then does our hair and makeup. Doesnt forget to drench herself in glitter spray, shes always so glittery. It suits her personality though.

All of us are already have a hard time getting out the glitter she leaves on us, let alone if we spray ourselves aswell.

Nabi cooks us dinner, chicken pasta. Already drooling at the name of it. Usually with a bunch of garlic, but not today. They're planning on getting it on with their crushes, what worse than to smell like a humanied piece of garlic. It tastes delicious though, even with the lack of garlic.

——————————————————————————

"Alrightyy let's go!" Nabi cheers

We all down the shots infront of us. Shake away the burning sensation in our throats, and walk towards the door. Asses nearly out, but still casual enough for it to not be weird.

I secretly I hope the outfit grabs the attention of a certain someone, won't admit it to them though. Though I wear mini skirts more often, it’s nothing special for me.

We walk over the big of campus. Dark out, all four of our arms intertwined with each other. I can hear the party's music from far, the cheers of people. It makes me feel excited, sounds like tonight will be fun.

Jia is immediately welcomed by many people, won't take her long to find Kai.

I look around the room, filled with people. They've got drinks in their hands, talking to their friends. Some are even dancing.

It doesn't take me long to spot the kitchen. Sometimes I think my kitchens dirty, this takes it to a whole other level. I grab Minnie's hand from behind me, sign to her that I know where the alcohols at.

We walk past Jia and Nabi, who are still saying hi to random people. I place my hands on front of me, on the kitchen counter. Stretched out, leaning on them.

"So, what you want 'm lady?" I ask Minnie.

"I have a strong desire for a vodka sunset ma'am" she replies. Pursing her lips, keeping a formal tone to her voice. "It is my pleasure" I smile, turning around on my heels.

Found the orange juice, in the fridge. and some strawberry syrup next to it, on the counter. Vodka wasn't difficult to find, and so I have all ingredients to make a 'vodka sunset', my specialty.

I see Jia and Nabi walking up to us, automatically assume they'll want sunsets too. Put them in front of them, as they sit down.

“Welcome ladies!” I hear behind me.

The look on Jia's and Nabi's face gives away easily who's standing behind me, so I turn around. Keeping my cool, hear absolutely going insane.

"Hello boys" I say, we all smile. "Craving some sunsets? It's my specialty" I look up at Taehyung standing in front of me. He’s so gorgeous, even up close. As much as you can call it 'in front' though, they're not that close.

They're standing there as if they're in a movie, clearly popular guys. Taehyung, Kai and Jimin. He laughs "Sure" And so I make three more sunsets. I could get addicted to that laugh, feel like I’m gonna fall to my knees just be looking at it.

"Extra sweet for the pretty ones amongst us" I joke. Clearly flirting, as I look up into Taehyungs eyes.

We all say cheers, down our shots.

"Damn, these really are your specialty" he says. Jia and Nabi are clearly eyeing the other two boys.

"So.. you guys party a lot?" Jimin asks. Jia looks down, shes shy. Shes never really 'shy', shes the social butterfly amongst us. Seems like she might really have an eye on Kai, standing next to Jimin.

Nabi had decided to sit down on the bar stool, that's placed beside the kitchen island. Legs crossed, chin leaning on her hand. Batting her eyelashes, as Jimin speaks.

I’m standing closer to the guys, therefore decide to answer his question. "Jia does! Personally not really tho" Turning my head to look at the girls, behind me. Jia looks up. She smiles softly, and raises her hand a little.

"We noticed some.. new followings on insta" I say teasingly. Taehyung laughs a little. He looks down at the floor, his hand reaching for the back of his neck. I swear I’m going insane.

"Aha yeah.. well we noticed some fangirls so"

I try not to laugh at that, smiles obvious on my face. Close my eyes, and shake my head just a little. Before turning my heels, back to the kitchen island.

These men i swear to god.

He’s charming, Taehyung. I’ve heard the stories, girls go feral for him. Talking so casually to him like this, makes me feel as if I have a chance with him. Works me in my delusions, something I’ve dreamed of for months now.

"Another round?" I look around myself, everyone agrees. So I make 7 new sunsets. We talk, we have fun. Nabi started talking to Jimin, finally. And Jia to Kai. Minnie wondered off, probably meeting her boyfriend somewhere.

——————————————————————————

"So why haven't we spoken before" he laughs. "I don't know" i respond, rolling my eyes playfully.

"Maybe because I don't want all of the girls in school to hate me! I don't know our status are just too different I guess" I laugh. It's true. He's a popular school jock, I'm a well.. a normal student.

"Jia is quite popular, could've gotten to us through her for sure" he answers. Sorta is what happened. If it wasn't for Nabi and Jia's fangirling, i wouldnt have sat here.

We're sat on a couch at this point. It's late, don't know what time though. It's still full, it's a Saturday so I don't expect anyone to leave soon.

Taehyung is sat next to me, my legs over his lap. Too far gone to go insane, we're chatting nicely. Some girls walking past have eyed me, but the amounts of alcohol I've had by now makes me not care about that.

With the stress of all the homework and tests I've been having, I feel like I'm allowed to treat myself. "You want another drink?" I say, getting up from the couch.

"Oh no I'm alright" he says. I get up, and walk back to the kitchen again.

Working myself through the crowd of people, there's not too many people though. Stumbling across the room, nearly tripping over my feet multiple times. I manage to get myself to the kitchen counter. "Ugh what do I fancy~"

I lean onto the counter with the palms of my hands, rocking on my feet a little. One of them red, American, cups will do. I scan the messy counter, different kinds of alcohol, different brands, different sodas.

I could kill for a vodka Red Bull actually, doesn't matter that I've probably already had enough alcohol for the day.

Can't even bother to measure my drink out, it's probably gonna taste like shit. And when I take a sip, it confirms my assumptions.. yeah tastes like shit.

I turn around, decide to make my way back to Taehyung.

This is why I hate partying. There's sweaty people crawling the place, and I don't even have to bother with the cleanup. Can't imagine what a real club is like, this is just a normal house party.

I do have to say, it loosened up my conversations with Taehyung. I'm not particularly the shy type, just don't like stepping out to others that much. Especially since Taehyung and I are in such different status levels, it would've been weird if I just randomly started speaking to him. Gosh he'd laugh in my face if I’d done that.

I never expected him to be this nice though, he seems actually interested. Well he shows interest in my private life. Looks at me a certain way that makes my cheeks burn hot. And for what reason? He doesn’t like me. We literally just met. I could definitely see him being my first boyfriend, have been.. I mean can you blame me? He’s complete and total bout-

What..

I stop my tracks, eyes wide. I feel as if I'm somewhere I shouldn't be, as if I just caught someone and should apologize profusely.

In the small amount of time it took me to get my drink and get back, he managed to move onto the next girl.. someone who's a lot easier than me apparently.

Took him too long to get into my pants and figured to just get some easy slut to do the job or something?

There's.. a girl. On his.. lap? Really?

Five minutes, FIVE MINUTES ID BEEN GONE??

God why do I even care, I've known the guy for what. Two hours? Still the short scene, makes my world spin a little.

I chug down the drink I had just gotten, and go back to the kitchen to make another one. More vodka in it than last time, tastes even more disgusting than the first one. Chugging it down, nearly gagging, hanging over the sink.

"YOO BUNNY" there's only one person who calls me that. "Didn't expect you here"

He stands next to me, ass leaning onto the counter. Arms crossed, looking into the crowd.

I look up at him, out of breath as if I just puked my brains out. Eyes pained. "You alright?" Jungkook asks.

"Uhm" I clear my throat. "Yeah no ofcourse" I say whilst shaking my head.

"Why are you here?" Stupid question, anyone can just come in and join. Don't need a special invitation or anything.

"Well, sorry for interrupting Yun. Let's dance, it'll take ur mind off of things" He tends to be be the kind of person that takes your mind off of things, rather than talking about it. If I do need to have a serious talk, he's always there for me.

He grabs my wrist, and drags me to the dance floor. There isn't really a 'dance floor', the living room has just been repurposed as one.

The world spins a tiny bit, just nothing too bad. I don't feel like I'm about to throw up anymore, like I've felt copious amounts of times. I genuinely hate it.

I have my back turned to the sofa, Taehyung and I were sitting at. I didn't check if he was still sitting there, as we walked over. But the way Jungkook shifts his gaze between me and the sofa, has me guessing that he is.

"Gon’ tell me what happened?" He asks

I keep my mouth shut, not wanting to talk about it. "Wanna make him jealous?" He then asks again. I raise my eyebrows. "Jealous?"

He doesn't say anything. He places his hands on my hips, to make me step closer. He then takes my arms, and places them on top of his shoulders behind his neck.

He placed his hands on my hips again. Moves his hips himself, swaying to the music. Guiding my hips with his hands to do the exact same thing, 'swaying to the music'.

The moment, somewhat caught me off guard. The alcohol is getting to my head, and it's making me that that Jungkook is looking a little too good tonight.

It's probably the way my stomach just turned, when I saw Taehyung there. To have someone's attention feels nice. It's dark in the room, music is blasting through my ears. And all I can seem to focus on, is the way he's so in the moment.

He seems so unbothered, faint smile on his face from the drinks he's had. The smallest trail of sweat running down the side of his neck, because of how hot it is in here. Yet he doesn't smell bad, good even.

"Yun!" He says, raising his voice just a little bit. "Huh what?" I say, shaken out of my own thoughts.

"Taehyung, he's watching" he nudges his head a little, to where Taehyung was sitting. Now knowing that Taehyung is watching, I wanted to get revenge.

Taehyung probably wouldn't even care, but atleast it's for my peace of mind. Anyone can tell the droopy, sad, expression on my face. I really just want to leave.

But still I choose to not admit to that just yet, focusing on Jungkook once again. Following his guide, to dancing together.

Though, I feel like my emotions are making him feel sad as well. "You here with someone?" I ask him.

Im done with this party, it's been an emotional roller coaster. I was having fun, and I'm letting some useless boy ruin that.

He shakes his head. "Can I stay at yours?"

I don't want to go home, be put up with Yoongi. He'll see right through me, will investigate who hurt me. Just to run off and hurt them.

On one hand, it's nice to have someone care like that. On the other hand, it hurts me too. I keep being left alone, dealing with myself. And having to take care of mum, with Yoongi ran off.

I'm just not in the mood for it tonight. Plus, I've stayed at Jungkooks house copious amounts of times.

He doesn't seem to have a problem with it. Leading me out of the house. Him up front, hand stuck out behind him to stabilize me a little.

He doesn't live too far. But walking is certainly the longer route. Will take a while.

Jungkook is definitely a better drunk, than me. I can tell by the way he looks, smells and acts, that he's had quite some drinks. Though he's still able to walk properly, act somewhat normal.

Were walking on the sidewalk, I try not to stumble. Focusing on the pavement, watching my feet closely. One foot in front of the other and switch. But it doesn't work, I trip. Face down.

"Ah!" I immediately reach for the stinging sensation on my knee. It's not terrible, nothing I'd usually cry over. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

"Nayun! Are you okay?" Jungkook immediately rushes over to me. "Ah yeah, my knee just hurts."

I sit down on the ground, as Jungkook kneels beside me

He grazes his fingers over my hurt knee, blows on it. “Just a little scratch, can you walk?” He asks as he helps me up.

I’m on the verge of tears, world crashing down. As if he knows, he crouches down in front of me, signing for me to get in his back. “U sure you can handle my weight” I ask. “Yun. don’t even start, I can handle you perfectly fine” he reassures me.

I get on his back, even though I could’ve just walked myself. The gesture is nice.

Not really in the mood to talk we eventually reach his apartment. He shares it with his friend, Mingyu. He’s nice, only really see him whenever I stay over.

He sets me down on my feet in front of his apartment, and opens the door for me. “Mingyu’s not home, I can take his bed if you want”

Usually we grab 2 separate covers, and sleep in his bed.

I don’t move, don’t know why. My expression feels droopy, empty, hurt. Mustn’t look nice from a third persons perspective. Can’t seem to take my eyes off him. his fluffy hair, that’s wildly distributed because of his dancing. His big hands that are holding the door open. His pretty face that looks at me as he asks.

“Is everything okay?” Answering him feels too difficult, with what’s going on in my head. I’ve never denied the fact that he grew up to be good looking, but to observe him the way I have tonight? Were there shrooms in the pasta or something?

So I don’t answer at all. switch my gaze to look inside of his apartment, and walk in.

“Go sit on the kitchen counter” he tells me, I silently obey his words. Walking to the kitchen and sitting on the empty counter, next to the sink.

He takes a little before he walks over to me, box in his hands. Places it beside me and inspects my knee. I watch him carefully as he takes the disinfection spray, sprays it on my knee. It stings a little but I’ve felt worse.

“Hurts?” He asks looking up at me. I quickly look at me knee, pretending I hadn’t had my eyes glued on him since he started taking care of my knee. Shake me head, because it doesn’t.

He wets a cloth with warm water and dabs in on the skin, before he dries it of plasters it shut with a band aid.

Hips leaning on the counter, hands on both sides of my legs on the counter. He looks in my eyes, tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. I gulp, for some reason.

“You look good today” he says.

Why. Why does he say that? I’m not in the right state of mind to be handling this right now. I’m afraid I'm going to make wrong decisions, decisions I shouldn’t. But he looks so damn good.. so damn good..

My eyes search his face, no expression. I like my lips, clearly some version of nervous. Still somewhere drunk, I cup his cheeks with my hands. Lean in, close my eyes, and kiss him. And he kisses me back, he actually kisses back. He doesn’t move a lot though, but also doesn’t move away.

As if a switch in my mind flipped, I break the kiss. Hands off him. “Omg, I-I’m so sorry” I apologize. Get back on my feet, ready to flee the scene walking past him.

But he catches my wrist, I swing around back to him. Hair flying around me, almost cinematically. And he kisses me again. More forceful this time, pushing my back against the counter again. He brushes a hand through my hair and rests it on my neck. Before placing me on top of it again.

He licks the bottom of my lip, testing the waters. I copy his movements. Tongue exploring my mouth, I let a moan slip. With the amount of alcohol I’ve had today, embarrassing is a stage I’ve far surpassed.

He takes it as a sign. kisses me along my jaw, down my neck. Moving my head to the side to give him easy access. His hands on my waist.

“You look good too I guess” I say. He laughs at that, sending vibrations all through my body.

“Shut up” he says with a slight chuckle in his voice.

“Make me” what in the word possessed me to say that. He’s my best friend, I don’t want this. Expected it to be Taehyung.

He stops what he’s doing, looks me in the eyes. “Sure?” He says. “yes..” I whisper. No, no is what I should’ve said. But it feels too good to stop, feels wrong for it to be him. But feels so good.

As if he doesn’t need telling twice, he connects his lips with mine again. Rougher this time, as if they’ve been wanting it for years. Though it’s just a one time thing. Doesn’t see him like that.

He picks me up from the counter, my legs wrapping around his waist. No idea where he brings me to as my back is turned to the apartment, too busy focusing on his lips.

“Gon make you feel so good” he says between kisses. Until my back hits the back of his bed. Legs still wrapped around his waist.

He takes off his shirt, he’s certainly been working out. Big biceps, soft skin, toned abs. Oh do I love muscles.. “Like the view huh?” He cocks. GOD do I want to roll my eyes at him. But instead I take my shirt off as well. Left in my bra, and skirt.

“Expected someone?” Is the first thing he said at the sight of my bra. “No” I lied. He doesn’t respond. far too occupied kissing my chest now, as my moans occupy the room.

He trails his fingers across my thighs, teasing me. He stops kissing me, looks me in my eyes. Don’t know what to say to him. No words come to mind. Brows furrowed, biting down on my lip.

“What you want bunny” he teases higher up on my inner thighs, should’ve worn safety shorts but decided not to. Wearing a baby pink, lacy thong, that matches my bra.

“Don’t call me that” I say breathily, hate it when he calls me that. Called him bunny once because I thought it was funny, he’d call me bunny too. Mine stuck, his didn’t. He knows I hate it.

“What?.. Bunny?” As he says that, he presses down on my clit. Receiving a soft moan from me. “Seems like you like it” he smirks. Hate that smirk.

He dares to shoot even lower, finger at my entrance. He circles around, not wanting to put them in yet.

I want to speak up, talk back. Tell him to shut his mouth. “I-ah, fuck” failed miserably. Just as I want to tell him off, he dips one finger in.

“Fuck, you’re so wet bunny” that stupid name again. My hand shoots up to his bicep, holding onto it for dear life. “More” he’s not even really doing anything, yet I want his big hands to stretch me out further.

He obliges, adding another finger.

“How bad do you want it bun” he asks, pumping his fingers in and out painfully slow.

“Shut up” I hiss. Though u have to admit, I clench around his fingers as he calls me that.

“Tell me” he says again and still his fingers completely. “Finger me Koo” I look at him, doe eyed. I can feel him fucking twitch against my leg as I say that. He looks at me for a few seconds, completely still “Koo?” He breathes in heavily, leaving a groan as he releases his breath.

He crashes his lips against mine, moving his fingers again. He's certainly skilled to say the least. two fingers moving in and out of me again, curling inside of me, hitting the exact right places. Thumb on my clit circling around it.

My mouth falters open, unable to kiss him back. The back of my head burying deep in the mattress. Eyes shut. Fuck it feels good.

He kisses down my collarbone. If he continues like this I'm actually going to come soon.

"Fuck, Koo" I moan loudly, he can feel my walls clench around his fingers. He stops kissing me. "Look at me when you cum" He says, well.. more like demands. "Look who's making you feel like this yun" I absolutely try my best to look at him, eyes faltering shut before opening them again. "That's it" He praises, That's what it does for me. My orgasm hitting me hard, as I try my absolute best to look at him. Tears nearly peeping through.

Both our heads snap at his door, before we look at each other shocked. "I thought you said Mingyu wasn't home" I say as he quickly pulls his fingers out of me, feeling empty inside. "He told me he was staying at his girlfriends house" quickly closing his bedroom door as the front door opens.

We both find our discarded shirts on the ground putting them back on. I run to his mirror checking if I look presentable. we both stay completely silent, holding our breath afraid to make a single sound.

We can hear Mingyu walk past the door, to his own bedroom slamming his door shut. both letting out a breath we've been holding for far too long.

Jungkook leans his head back against the door. I can see the disappointment in his face. the walls are thin, heard Mingyu in action one time.

I feel disappointed, bad for him. Poor dude getting blue balled. I'm afraid to admit I was kind of looking forward to returning the favour to him.

Who says we still can't?

I walk over to him, as quiet as I can. As soon as I approach him I trail my finger across his abdomen, placing kisses on his shoulder and collarbone.

"Bun? what ar-" I cut him off, shushing him wish a kiss to his mouth. "Just stay quiet" I whisper against his ear. my hands at his waist band, unbuckling his belt and undoing his jeans. dropping down to my knees.

to be honest I have no idea what I'm doing. mimicking things I've seen, and read. Pulling his jeans down a little, placing a kiss on his clothed cock. I can feel he's still rock hard. I can hear his breath hitch as I place a kiss on it.

Not wanting to waste too much time, I pull his boxers down too. nearly jump scaring me as he springs free. I need a moment to register what I'm seeing, I've always seen dicks as something pretty ugly. But having him in front of me like this, makes me think otherwise. He's big. Bigger than I thought existed in real life. But nothing abnormal. "Stop staring" He whispers. I meet his eyes. shaking me out of my thoughts. There's no way in hell I can take all of him.

I place my hands at his base, Notice he's struggling not to moan at my touch. Place a kiss on the side of his cock, licking a long stripe across the vein that goes from the base to his tip. placing a kiss on it as I reach the end. swiping my tongue across his slit, tasting his precum. And take him in my mouth.

I can tell he's struggling to keep quiet, his hand finding it's way into my hair. I try to take as much of him as I can, without trying to gag on him. bobbing my head up and down, moving my hands wherever I cant reach.

Never would I have thought, giving a blowjob can be arousing for the one whose giving it as well. noticing I'm rubbing my thighs together as if I didn't just orgasm around the same fingers that are in my hair right now.

he pushes my head down a little, making me moan softly against him making him groan in response. I look at him through my lashes, eyes meeting his as he was already looking at me.

I squish his balls lightly, sending him over the edge. he pushes my head down hard, tears peeking through the corner of my eyes. he comes down my throat. soft humming coming from above me as he tries his best to stay quiet. warm liquid trickling down my throat as I swallow all of it.

sucking him empty and letting go with a plop. He wipes the corner of my mouth, as I smile at him proudly. "Good girl" he says, making me clench on absolutely nothing.

He puts himself back in his boxers, putting his jeans back on as well as I get back to my feet. He nudges his head to his door that he's still leaning against.

"U can take a shower if you want to. take a tee of mine" I nod at him, swinging around to his dresser stealing one of his shirts. running off to the bathroom.

Been to his house so many times is normal for me to be here.

I walk back to his room after my shower, hair blow dried, big shirt of Jungkook's. he switches places with me and disappears into the bathroom.

suddenly it all feels empty again, quiet. events of this evening reoccurring in my head. Jungkook seemed to take my mind of Taehyung for a little. but now that, that moment is over, it all comes flushing back.

I feel so stupid to think I had an actual chance with him.

I make my way to Jungkook's bed, curling up under his covers. Too empty to even open my phone to see my missed messages. Or to look at TikTok to pass the time.

Time passes so slowly, staring right in front of me. No thoughts running through my mind, but at the same time so many.

Jungkook makes his way back into his room. I didn’t even notice until he was in squatting next to me. tucking a piece of hair behind my ear as I'm laid on my side. I look at him, only my eyes moving to find his.

"you sure you're alright?" I don't want to answer him, feel embarrassed about what happened. I feel so naïve.

"Lets pretend nothing happened okay?" I tell him. He nods. a simple "okay" leaving his mouth.

he walks over to the other side of his bed. back facing me, my back facing him. I feel like I shouldn't leave him in the dark on what happened.

"had a crush on Taehyung" I admit to him, feel like I'm admitting it to myself as I tell him. "Was talking with him at the party for like 2 hours.." he stays silent, not sure if he's listening or maybe already sleeping. "left for a drink, saw another girl on his lap when I came back"

"I felt so naïve, to think he'd like me back. but he just wanted to get in my pants. was devastated when I saw them, felt like I was gonna throw up" I tell him "Oh yeah and then I fell." I add.

He's completely silent. no clue if he's even awake, maybe he's wearing headphones. maybe he fell asleep, I don't know.

"Koo?" I say softly. I get a soft "yeah?" back, almost like a whisper.

"Wasn’t sure if you were listening" I say. there's so much room between us. I left to his house to feel comfortable, to not be alone. knew my brother would be a pain in the arse at home. and if he wouldn't, than mum would be. I feel.. empty, even tough my night was so full.

After everything that happened with Jungkook tonight, how is my mind still with Taehyung? "Koo?.." I say again. "yeah?.." Somehow I’m nervous for what I'm about to ask him, afraid he’ll reject me. Part of me knows he wouldn't. Part of me knows it isn't usually weird. Just after what happened today I'm unsure.

"Can we cuddle?" I ask quietly, Almost embarrassed.

He doesn't reply, all he does I move. Move closer to me in his bed. And as I look over I see him holding his arm up. Open for me to join him. Not a single moment in my mind that doubts rolling over to him.

He wraps me up in his arms as I hug his waist tightly, not wanting to let go of someone else at the moment. So desperately in need of physical touch, is sad.

A tear falls down from my face. too much going on at the moment. too much for me to handle. I know he can feel me sob in his embrace, I know his shirt is getting salty wet because of my tears. he doesn't mention it. caresses my hair and suits circles on my back. even places a kiss on my forehead.

"Back to normal tomorrow m'kay?" He whispers, hearing the vibrations from his chest through my cheeks, are soothing. secretly wishing they could last forever.

I nod, and fall asleep quite vastly.

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choicesficwriterscreations · 6 months ago

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June Creator of the Month: Thosehallowedhalls

Please welcome this month’s Creator of the Month is @thosehallowedhalls.

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists. The writer or artist is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page. Past COTM's can be found here.

Quick Links:

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1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

I can't remember exactly. 2021, I think? Laws of Attraction was on its tenth chapter.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined in January of this year. I was upset with Crimes of Passion 2, so I wrote a couple of stories about it. I had deactivated my old Tumblr long ago, so I had to open a new one.

3- How did you pick your blog name?

I love old buildings - the history, the ambiance. I tried hallowedhalls, but it was taken, so I added the article.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!

I… have zero recollection of this post. But I'm big on nostalgia and mourning past times, so the fact that this was my first post tracks.

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both?

I write fanfiction. I've been teaching myself to draw, but I'm not anywhere near close to sharing what I do.

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

I started writing fanfiction way back in… 2010? For about four or five years. Then I stopped until December 2023.

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

Crimes of Passion on both counts.

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

That would be The 2 AM Christmas Tree Farm, inspired by The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. I do still like it, but I would tighten up the writing a bit. I had barely written any fiction for several years at that point, and the lack of practice shows.

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created?

I keep going back and forth between The 2 AM Christmas Tree Farm and Home Without. Both are angsty short series.

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

I was taken aback by the comments on The 2 AM Christmas Tree Farm. I'd posted it on AO3 a few weeks before, and had gotten a handful of kudos and one comment, but within 24 hours of posting it here, I had several lovely reblogs. It was a welcome surprise. Stories with fewer comments… I guess Home Without. The first chapter got quite a bit of love, but by the time the final chapter rolled around, fewer people were interacting.

11- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

I love a balance, but I'd say angst with a happy ending. I enjoy the breadth of emotions angst lets you explore.

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

There are bits and pieces of me in all of them. Emma has my sarcasm, and Raine has my need to look for the best in people. There may be more, but if so, it wasn't done intentionally.

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most?

Perfectionism. Like I said before, the lack of writing practice shows. I know that the only way to get better is to keep writing, but I hate seeing the gap between what I do and what I want to do. Catch-22.

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

My Sebastyan x Emma fic, Of Cloudless Climes and Starry Skies. There are only a couple of chapters left, but I've been struggling with it for a couple of months now.

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first?

Oh, hell no.

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

So many writers have influenced my writing throughout the years, including authors I do not currently read. The Brontë sisters, Charles Dickens, Nora Roberts, Jane Austen, Courtney Milan, Alyssa Cole… I could go on and on. Fanfic writers… There are a lot, but off the top of my head, @inlocusmads, @coffeewithcutcaffeine, @gaiuskamilah, @aria-ashryver, @jerzwriter, @dutifullynuttywitch, @aces-and-angels, @petalouda85, and @storyofmychoices. I know there are more.

17- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

Home Without. I'm a sucker for good pining, and I'd love to see all that mutual longing play out onscreen - not to mention that reunion.

18- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art?

I do. I'm currently working on a horror short story, a MG novel, and a dual timeline mystery that's still in the research stages.

19- What other hobbies do you have?

Reading, non-fandom writing, drawing, learning new things (especially languages!), going on walks, and drinking enough coffee to alarm medical professionals anywhere.

#cfwc creator of the month #creator of the month #playchoices #choices stories you play #choices fic writers creations #thosehallowedhalls

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sadceline · 6 days ago

Text

THE ENHYPEN HOST || 21

|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS

WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes.

GENRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers

INDEX (Chapters order)

I'm literally covered in Sunghoon's cum, I've got it in my hair, on my face, on both my breasts, but most of all… he keeps coming out of me as he continues to fuck me. I'm bent over in front of him, he's got me by the waist and by my hair, which he's twisted around his right hand.

"Fuck, you won't be able to walk."

I just gasp as I feel him come in my stomach for the umpteenth time for several long seconds. It's amazing he's got so much of it.

He pulls it out and lets go of me. He looks at me as I collapse between his legs, then smiles.

"Are you tired? Although… - he says under breath - you left something here." He sighs and pushes his long cock towards me.

I swallow, I'm not afraid at all, in fact… After everything he's done to me in the last few hours, I've succumbed to him so much that it seems the least I can do is return the favour.

"How does it… - I ask, rising weakly before crawling towards him - still be hard." "It's always this way because of you." He replies amusedly, stroking my head gently, letting a strand of my hair slip through his fingers.

I am now on my knees in front of him, taking his cock in my mouth, first helping myself with my hand, but then he moves his wrist and looks at me seriously as I raise my eyes to his in confusion. I can't do it without a little help at first.

"Shit. - He swears, biting his lip as he looks down at me. - You're so beautiful."

"Open sesame" I hear, wanting to please him even more. I take him in my mouth, wrapping my tongue around his thickness as much as I can and start to move my head more confidently.

"Ah… yes, clean it all up."

Even when he talks dirty, he doesn't use any swear words, he's never vulgar. He called me slut several times when we were not fucking, rather than during it. It's almost as if I have to earn that.

I start to go deeper and deeper, although it is really difficult for me because of his size. The more he moans, the more I am spurred on to continue and improve, I want him to go mad again, this time because of me.

"You like it so much, don't you? No… you're not tired yet. F-fuck…."

I realise I'm choking because I'm going too fast. I try to pull it out, to keep him from getting in the back of my throat and choking me, but all his cum ends up on my tongue and part of my lips.

I raise my eyes, he stares at me, even though he's just come for the umpteenth time, I pull my tongue out to show him what he's done, then I swallow it and he rolls his eyes in surprise. I lick my lips, too, to collect it all.

"Shit… shit, I'm going to have a heart attack, Amanda!" He shouts in surprise.

I manage to smile before collapsing on the floor, brain dead. He bends down, grabs my shoulders, lets me lean against him and for several minutes nothing happens.

He just lets me rest against him.

"You… you did well." He tells me after a while. "You're the worst…" I pant, but I cling to him. He does the same with his arm, pulling me close. "I know."

I don't know how much time passes, all I know is that eventually he lifts me up and holds me like a bride.

"Come on, let's take a shower."

This is how it really happens. All the while, in the not-so-clear showers of the women's changing room at the ice rink, Sunghoon rubs me with the sponge he took out of his duffel bag.

The water running over me is very warm, I feel really relaxed, I don't even have to move as he takes care of gently massaging and lathering every inch of my body. I feel really exhausted, it's been so intense it doesn't seem real.

For a while it really did feel like the last time.

I try to distract myself, but I don't even want to count the times he came between Wonyoung and me today. It's scary, not human, unnatural.

But I don't even want to think about it too much, I like feeling his chest when I rest my neck on his, I like how, even though he doesn't kiss me directly, he keeps resting his lips on my shoulders, on my back, while his still-bearded cock presses against my back.

"Are you all right?" I ask in a whisper. He smiles, but not sarcastically as usual. "Why? Are you worried about me?" "That sounds like the answer of someone who is fine."

We both laugh, albeit briefly, because after soaping me completely, he hugs me from behind, partially covering my face with his arms as he leans against my head.

"I wish we didn't have to come back."

Actually, I wish I did too.

I know this is the last shift, and I know that after today things will change.

I'm probably going to leave, although I don't think he's realised that yet… he looks worried.

When we get out of the shower, while he is still naked, Sunghoon covers me with several towels. He puts a bigger one over my shoulders, while with the smaller one he squeezes them a bit, to collect the excess water.

"Do you find me beautiful with my make-up off?" I ask him, before he starts blow-drying my hair. He's behind me, but we both see each other in the mirror in front of us. "No, not at all. - He replies, with the expression of someone who has done nothing wrong. - You're ugly as hell."

I honestly don't understand why he would give me such an answer, while he is obviously taking care of me, drying my hair, even putting his stupid expensive creams in it.

"I've always been told otherwise." I say. He twists his lips, I can see it. "Who?" "You don't know them." "Ah… then I don't care. - He replies almost offended. - If I don't know them, they are below my level, and certainly far from you." "You are rather jealous of a very ugly girl." "In fact, I advise you to always show your make-up around the house. Even outside, you should only show your made-up face to me."

Damn… he made me blush. When he sees that I don't react, he chuckles contentedly. Then he turns on the hairdryer and the hot air blast pampers me along with his fingers, caressing my curls and rolling them between them.

It's a good thing, because I wouldn't have known what to say.

When I am completely dry, he gives me one of his 'spare' pullover. My jumper is too wet, I risk getting sick, he says, and continues to be thoughtful….

"Are you sure there were no cams?" I ask as we leave the back of the building that leads to the car park where only Sunghoon's car is parked. "They gave me the keys to this place. I turned off the cameras myself." "That was risky." I remind him worriedly. "But nice."

I can't answer.

In the car, he even opens the door for me. He buckles me in, but doesn't look me in the eye. He's sad again, no, probably just serious - I'm fantasising too much.

We don't speak, not even after we've left. He's lost in thought, you can tell, I'm really too tired and the fear of the consequences of what happened in there makes me run away in my sleep. He notices but does not wake me.

In fact, when I opened my eyes, I did so spontaneously and noticed that the car had already stopped. Sunghoon was staring at me, as if he wanted to say something, but I didn't think he would.

We looked at each other for a few seconds and then looked away.

"You're awake." "I'm sorry…" "I didn't let you sleep so your sorry." I remain silent, bowing my head in respect. "Thank you for what you said to me today. - I say, even though my voice is shaking. - I, however, can't… I can't say that I have forgiven you. Sorry." He sneers, unbelieving, wistful. "You're sorry because you can't forgive me?" "I'm sorry… because I'm so guilty myself." "Things will change, you know? - He looks at me, finally, and I look back. - Things…" "Please. I… I am an engene before I am your host! - I find the courage to say, even though I can barely stand the game of glances, collapsing like an amateur. - What I want more than anything is for you to shine as you deserve. I need that. Please, please, Heeseung… and you… should be friends! - I take both his hands and shake them. - Heeseung is lonely and you know that. There are things you'll never be able to do that Heeseung can… but there are things you'll always be the best at because you don't even have to force yourself to do them.

Sunghoon gives me a serious, unyielding look, then swallows.

"I won't give up on you." "I'll be leaving soon."

His gaze changes, damn it, and it's frightening how quickly.

"What do you mean?" "I don't… - I push my hands away, a little scared. - I can't stay." "You want Heeseung to pay the debt? I told you, I can do it too, but if Hybe finds out, will send you to….. I don't know, Mexico!"

I laugh, but I'm actually too sad. Does he still think about Heeseung? He's really obsessed with him, maybe even in love. And here I was hoping he was with Suno…..

"No, Sunghoon. I… c-c-consider that I should stop working with you."

This time, his expression doesn't just frighten me, it completely petrifies me. I am truly scary by his dark gaze, at this time of night, locked in his car in the building's car park.

"Do you want to go to TXT?" "Are you… are you joking, right?" "What the hell do you think would happen if you left?" "I'm in too deep. - I admit, looking him in the eye even though I'm literally shaking. - If my presence can cause damage to something that is very important to me… I… have few things I care about very much. If I could go back…" "You like Enhypen more than fucking them?" "What a gentleman you are. - I comment disgustedly, he smiles amusedly, but quickly turns serious again. - Anyway, yes, it's possible." "If you're asking my opinion - he says after a while - I think you're better off shagging people I've known long enough. You're in the wrong business now, it'll take a while to get out of it and it won't be easy to shut those TXT fuckers up, but… it can be done. Wash your dirty laundry at home, right? This will definitely cause problems, but we're all so attached to our nice things, our nice clothes, that we'll make it work." "What about me?- I ask quickly. - Should I just stand there and hope it doesn't fall apart?" "You should use this time to find out who you want."

I look at him, unable to answer.

"Even if it were me, I couldn't protect you except by keeping you close to me. I'm not strong enough, no one can do it properly. But if you stay close, it'll be easier to hide you."

I sigh, lowering my sad gaze as I nervously run my palms down my thighs. The things he says make me particularly tense, he really does speak as if he cares, and yet it still feels absurd.

"I won't choose anyone. Not now, not ever." "Then resist me and break my heart if you can. - He tells me, in the tone of advice. - But don't go anywhere."

I don't know what to say, I feel like I could cry at any moment, but he doesn't give me the time. He strokes my cheek and kisses me one last time, his kisses are so warm, the warmth spreads slowly but intensely through my body, and to say he is such a block of ice is usually the wrong thing to say.

"Shall we go?" I ask, the second he pulls away from me. I know my question has offended him, but I did it on purpose, I wanted him to stop. "Are you in a hurry?" He asks annoyed. "The longer we stay here, the less… I want to come back." "You want to stay with me? That's fine, we can even sleep outside, I'll book a room." "I-I didn't say that. - I stammer, embarrassed and a little offended. - Stop please, ok?" "Pick me, Amanda." I laugh, nervously. "You'll get tired of this before I do that."

He doesn't answer right away, I don't know what his expression is because I'm not looking at him.

"Want to bet?" He just asks, taking the keys out of the ignition of the car, which turns off.

I don't dare answer. We got out of the car in silence, he followed me, then we got into the lift. It was late at night. Neither of us had anything more to say, or perhaps we both preferred to remain silent at that moment, which seemed darker than it probably was.

When we got back, Sunghoon used his keys to open the door, but he let me in first. How gallant…

I wasn't expecting it, but all six of them are sitting around the lounge table, drinking beer and soju, there are snacks on the table, but they look untouched.

As soon as I return, I look for Heeseung's eyes: I didn't find it, he looked away, almost as if he knew, as if he was avoiding me. Melancholy, later I find Jongseong's eyes, worried but also angry.

Next to him, Jake looked at me calmly, as if he expected nothing else from me. Jungwon smiles, which makes me uncomfortable, but I have to admit that smile is quite sensual. Sunoo, next to him, sips his glass of beer undisturbed, but when I look for his gaze, I find it immediately and he seems pleased. Niki, who's been on his phone almost the whole time we've been here, just looks confused and amused.

"Let's talk." Jay says.

I stop spontaneously. Sunghoon sighs behind me, then grabs my shoulders, Heeseung notices and turns around, I lower my eyes as he gently pushes me towards the low table and makes me sit on the floor.

"Let's talk." Sunghoon repeats, sitting next to me, close enough to rest the back of his thigh against mine. "We talked, we… exchanged opinions." Jay says in a rather sarcastic tone. "Without me." He reminds him of the peer next to me. "That's really funny." Riki comments, looking at them almost pitifully. Sunghoon looks at him coldly, Heeseung smiles unnerved. "It is, but let's talk about concrete things. The shift thing won't work, the council thinkers claim." The minor smiles amusedly. "Then we cancel it?" "Oh, no. That's the funny thing - Heeseung continues - they… have a pretty good idea. While Jay's dating Amanda's friend, you're dating Wonyoung, Jungwon's been dating Hanni for about two years, and Sunoo, he…. - laughs, even more nervous - he's also dating someone! He hasn't evenparticipated, but they all agree on that." "This what?" Sunghoon asks more seriously now. "Let's cancel the shifts. - He shouts with Jungwon's usual smile. - We can keep them, but you would have to give up yours and I'm sure you would never do that. Am I right?" "Explain yourself better, Jungwon." Man, that's scary, Sunghoon. "Let Amanda help us, in no particular order. With whomever she feels like, whenever she wants… - he explains, I can tell he's about to say something dangerous, he's even struggling to say the words himself, but he seems so amused that it makes me really uncomfortable. - Still, she should not refuse. Of course, if she agrees, but… that would solve everything. If we behave well and don't bother her too much, if she can't choose who to favour, everything will be fine, and it will be much more professional".

For several seconds I cannot tell if what I have just heard is an auditory hallucination. You… He didn't really say all that, did he, Jungwon?

Okay, funny. Really, ten out of ten for originalit - Sunghoon replies, grabbing my wrist and pulling me up. - We'll sleep in hotel tonight, tomorrow, if you're clear…" "You don't decide." Jungwon reminds him. Jongseong looks at us, I can see an almost imperceptible smile on his face, a mischievous grin. "Fortunately, the majority decides. Or it could just choose the leader. I don't know if that's convenient." Sunghoon looks at Heeseung, who seems completely impassive. "Aren't you going to do anything? You're the oldest!" "You don't understand the situation. - The elder answers in a whisper. - You don't decide, she does."

Sunghoon turns to me, stares at me for a long time, but I don't know what to say, so he lets go of my wrist and turns to his bandmates.

"Sunoo, what the fuck?! Why do you agree?!" The minor smiles amusedly and puts down his glass. "Why shouldn't I? Isn't it to my advantage, too? I could be a breath of fresh air for Amanda noona." Hoon doesn't seem to have expected such a reaction, he remains silent for a few seconds, then turns to Jake. "You always make the worst choices, don't you?" Jaeyun smiles, but is annoyed and quickly changes his expression. "Don't bother me. I've had enough of you and your women, I don't want boona to be one of them." "Noona?" He repeats in disbelief. "She likes to be called that. Don't you know?"

Oh. I've gone all red, this isn't the time to be embarrassed about these things, dammit!

"Sit down, Amanda." Jay says to me in his warmest voice.

Even though I know that this will break Sunghoon's heart, should he actually have one, I walk past Sunghoon after a few seconds of thinking and sit down at the table. The one who stands up is Heeseung, but also abruptly.

"Don't do it, Amanda." He tells me, it's an order. "Do you realise that if you don't, it will become more and more difficult to keep you with us? - Jungwon explains, becoming more serious, perhaps for the first time. - We… want you here, understand?" He says this as his cunning gaze squares me until I feel naked and helpless in front of him. "If we pay the debt, they'll send you to the farthest country, if we end the contract, you'll work somewhere else. - Jay continues with a sigh. - We don't want that." "If you stay here, you'll be safe." Jake finally explains, although he doesn't look at me. Jungwon bites his lips in amusement, then takes my hand in both of his and squeezes it. "You can set all the limits you want, except that… to… refuse you. Unless there are medical problems, of course! - He reassures me, as if he's talking about something completely normal. Then he shakes my hand a little more and his eyes become even more puppy-dog eyes. - After all, it's fun… and you're our fan, so I'm sure you'll enjoy it… helping us maintain our well-being."

I swallow, just hearing him talk like that makes me excited again.

"Ok, shall we make it like an opening ceremony?" Riki suggests with his sensual volatility as he gets down on his knees. "Fuck, you guys are crazy, aren't you?" Sunghoon asks with a nervous half-smile. "An opening ceremony?" Sunoo ignores him and looks at the minor. The Japanese boy begins to laugh in amusement, then lowers his gaze to his crotch, hymming something very unorthodox. "Well… all together, in the name of friendship." "Oh my God." Jay comments in disgust. Sunoo bursts out laughing, as does Jungwon, although for a few seconds he turns and looks at me strangely. "Let's do it, come on." Jake is speechless. "You… oh my… that's disgusting. You're a fucking child!" "I'm not!" Riki replies curtly.

Heeseung stares at him for several seconds, his gaze is icy, it sends shivers down my spine, but not only that… Then he turns to Sunghoon, the two of them staring at each other in silence, but I lower my gaze, intimidated.

"Amanda will sleep with Sunoo tonight." Heeseung says, massaging the space between his eyebrows as he tries to stay calm. "After the ceremony?" The unconscious Niki asks. "Say it again. - Heeseung raises his voice and looks menacingly at the maknae. - Look at Sunghoon's face, I'll make it much worse for you." "Come on, why don't do it, hyung?" The younger man replied. "It's still my turn. - Sunghoon says seriously, interrupting them thankfully, because Heeseung doesn't seem to be joking at all. - I want to finish it off." "I haven't had a full twenty-four hours either, get over it." Jay replies. "No problem for me, I can accommodate her before or after the ceremony." Sunoo laughs. "Amanda, the advice I gave you. Forget it." Sunghoon says behind my back. "What advice?" Jungwon asks curiously. "I changed my mind, completely. It was nonsense, you'll go to China or somewhere else." "What advice?" Heeseung asks in a darker tone. "Let's do it." I say suddenly.

They are all silent for a few seconds, I have a tired look on my face.

"Are you kidding? - Heeseung shouts. - I said I'll pay. I said I'll take care of it." "You don't have to do that. - I say with an edge in my voice. - I have nothing to do with you, look at me. - I'm being rhetorical. - I did it with Sunghoon and also with…. Niki. Why would you… it's humiliating for you. Don't do it. It's not worth it…"

I can't bring myself to meet his gaze, afraid his expression could easily tear my heart apart. I'm a bad person, whether he's that bad or not, he should know.

"Did you do it with Yeonjun and Soobin?" He asks me, as if it matters in any way. I don't answer right away, everyone stares at me, Riki laughs. "Go ahead, answer." Sunghoon urges me not so gently. "No… but what does it matter?"

Heeseung sighs and looks almost relieved. Sunghoon and Jay seem to do the same.

"It does matter." The three repeat with a dazed expression. "Glad you trusted her instead of asking who was there." He remembers Riki, who I look at confused, no, scared. Heeseung looks at him and purses his lips. "Yes, I believe her." "And you do well, Hyung. I would never let them do to her what I would have done to her."

Heeseung quick to violence, at least that's what I could see, but he still stops, perhaps because the one in front of him is still his maknae, the youngest. But the look he gives him… it's hard to describe how much fear he gives me.

"So… shall we officially end the fifth round?" Jungwon suggests. "Let's do it." Sunoo smiles and looks at Sunghoon, who for some reason can't answer in front of him. Jay swallows, struggling. He looks at Jungwon, he knows him very well, he seems annoyed by his behaviour. "Should we?" "Why should she sleep with Sunoo? Shouldn't she be able to choose where she sleeps?" Jake asks, already assuming that the fifth round will indeed end here. "Do you think she would sleep with you?" Riki teases him, sitting on the floor leaning on his palms.

Jungwon bursts out laughing and puts a hand on Jake's shoulder to stop him from getting up and hitting him. Sunoo just laughs, I'm just in shock.

"Do you want to, Noona? - Jungwon comes up to my ear and willingly places his lips on it. - Tomorrow we'll make all the rules, but tonight… are you ready? Has Sunghoon taken your strength?"

The way he whispers in my ear, the way his voice spreads through my brain, awakening primal instincts, immediately throws me off track.

As I try to hold my breath (I don't even know why), he notices and laughs.

"I… I don't… I don't think… " Jay has been watching us for a while, he's obviously annoyed. "Jungwon, what are you doing?"

Sunghoon approaches and notices, maybe because he's done nothing but watch Heeseung so far. He abruptly pulls Jungwon away and Jungwon resents it, Heeseung also approaches us and I involuntarily lower my shoulders as if to make myself smaller. I don't know what's going on and I'm afraid of what might happen.

"Ouch, hyung! I'm smaller but bigger. Don't make me angry." He says this in a joking tone, but he seems to be seriously annoyed. "I'd like to… sleep here." I admit, trying to restore order. "No, that's no good." Riki says, as if he had no obvious second ends.

Heeseung sighs, makes space between us and then grabs my arm with such force that it lifts me up, I'm scared, I admit, it's starting to scare me, it hurts. I don't like it. Sunghoon just did the same thing, but he was gentler.

I can tell he's really nervous, I don't like it at all.

As I stand up, I pull my arm away from his grasp just as abruptly, and he looks me in the eye, seemingly angry, but then seems to turn away unarmed, betraying some concern. Sunghoon lifts the sleeve of his sweatshirt, which I'm still wearing, to see if he's left a mark on me, but Heeseung looks away in annoyance.

"Let's talk for a moment, please." "Wait until tomorrow then." Sunghoon reminds him. "He can't even talk to me when she wants to?" The younger man glares at him; I never said I wanted to, but he takes it for granted. "Not on my shift." "It's not your shift anymore, haven't you heard?"

I sigh tiredly, I can't take it anymore, this day seems to never end. I look at Sunoo, he is smiling but I can still see some annoyance in his expression.

"I think noona is uncomfortable. - He says in a cheerful but mischievous tone. - Should she sleep with me? Do you want to, noona?" "Y-Yes." I nod quickly. "You don't even want to talk to me?" Sunghoon asks me.

I scamper ridiculously between them, standing behind the backs of Jay and Jungwon, who don't move and remain in front of me.

"I-I just want my phone."

Sunghoon remains speechless, Heeseung starts to laugh out loud.

"Go to sleep, both of you." Jay sighs. Jungwon goes up to his ear and covers his mouth from the side of the two bandmates, letting me see what he's about to say as he looks at me amusedly out of the corner of his eye. "Shouldn't he sleep with you? After all, you are the most serious of us, and Sunoo is younger."

I swallow and look down, pretending not to have heard, even though it's obvious that I have. I've heard everything and I don't even despise the idea… but it's not out of any ulterior motives, it's just that for some reason I think Sunoo has it in for me, and I also think that the only person I could talk to about how I feel is Jay, only he, maybe… would be willing to listen to me.

"No way." Heeseung replies. "Jay hyung is dating with his friend, nothing will happen." Jungwon reassures them, rightly in my opinion. "No way." The eldest repeats, looking his dongsaeng, who has the serious and unyielding look as if they were the same age. "You don't decide that, she does." Jay sighs and turns to me. "Really… don't you want to talk to me" Sunghoon asks me, seriously, no, even wistfully. I swallow, swallowing the lump in my throat and trying to fight the urge to cry. "I just wish… it wasn't a competition. I can talk to anyone."

Sunghoon does not answer me, but takes a step back and literally leaves the room to go to his room. Judging by the silence that follows, I don't think I'm the only one surprised by his behaviour.

"Oh, how cute - Heeseung sneers, although he has such an icy stare when he looks at me - did you delude him?" I lower my eyes, not sure if I did anything like that, but I know he is offended and disappointed to me and that makes me sad. "It's none of your business." "I apologised for earlier, but now we need to talk."

I still sigh, I can't deny him, but I'm still worried about Sunghoon. He left in a strange way, looking so nervous.

"N-no, you didn't. But I'd like to say something…'' - I try to steady myself as all eyes are on me - I… I hope this won't be misunderstood, but… couldn't we just finish the shift? Things will be different tomorrow and we're definitely not going to do anything tonight, but c-couldn't we create any more…"

Only now do I realise how stupid I am, that Sunghoon only went to get my phone back to me, instead I just blew it out of proportion, feeling really guilty and sad for him. I was so embarrassed that I immediately shut up.

Sunghoon looks at me, I look at him too, but only for a second, then I look down in embarrassment. I know Heeseung isn't happy with my words, but I don't want him to win… again.

I see the ice prince cover his face with one hand as he shrugs his shoulders, offended (maybe even embarrassed?), and then puts my phone back in his pocket. Jay sighs tiredly, Jungwon laughs but is nervous.

"We can't do this. The situation is already borderline". Jay says annoyed. "You will end up to fuck again if you spend the evening together." Jaeyun comments, sitting at the table, staring at us, resting his face in the palm of his hand. "W-What difference does it make? We've already done it and then… I honestly don't think he'd want to, knowing that I've agreed to the terms of the new contract." I explain, very uncomfortably. "Yes indeed, mind your own business." Sunghoon replies. "That's a nice way to get back at you - Heeseung says then, taking me by the wrist gently this time - but now, let's talk."

He takes me to the kitchen so fast they can't stop him, then we go to the balcony, his grip tightening all the way, careful not to hurt me.

"Do you like him now? Has he told you that he's willing to do anything and usual shit for you? "I look at him annoyed, but I can't take much more. "Would you stop it? And by the way, you say that shit too". "Why do you believe him and not me?" He raises his voice and lets go of my wrist. "Heeseung, it's… it's nothing, it means nothing. Let's finish the shift, so it's all even, no… no hard feelings." "You just want to be with him." He says in a deep, scary tone. I swallow and pull away. "No, Heeseung. I want to stay away from both of you. However…" "Then just talk to him tonight. Don't sleep with him." "Will that change anything? From tomorrow I'll be at the mercy of everyone!" I raise my voice, this time looking into his eyes, but he remains cold, unyielding. "I will fight every second to prevent you from spending another minute with Sunghoon. I don't fear anyone, Amanda - he tells me with an air of conviction and threat - but of him yes. I know you can't help wanting him, I just want to limit the damage. If I have to suffer to have you, he has to suffer too.

I smile, not because I am amused, but because hi answer, his speech, really frightened me, made me insecure and nervous. He sounds serious, he sounds sincere, but there is no reason why he should be.

"If I don't have you in the end - he says again, lowering his tone further, "he won't have you either, Amanda." "You… you have to stand by him." I reply. Heeseung stares at me blankly for several seconds, then smiles pitifully. "What?" "You're friends, you have to be, do… d-do it for your music, for your dream! Don't waste your light on me… I… I'm not enough… - I say and my voice shakes, it comes out irregularly. - I just want you two to be friends, to protect each other, I… I would give anything to make things right between you. I admit as huge tears fall from my eyes.

Heeseung stands like a fool in front of my tears, unable to speak, but then sighs as if embarrassed and hugs me, avoiding looking at me directly. He is… warm. His body is very warm and comfortable, although I think his heart is very cold right now.

I didn't think it would hurt so much to know that I had failed him.

"It's not your fault, don't worry about such things."

Letting him embrace me like that, almost in public, makes me feel worried, I fear every second that Sunghoon might see us and continue with the scenes, but just like with him, I cannot refuse Heeseung. His touch, his smell, his body, I am completely helpless.

He is always so sweet, even though there are sides of him that obviously frighten me. Who is the real Heeseung? And is there really someone else?

But why does he make me feel so special?

He doesn't give up anything for me, but it's like he's fighting with the whole world.

"I'm s-serious, Heeseung. I care more about your music… than you." Despite saying this, the boy continues to hug me as he sighs tiredly. "So if we become friends, will you choose me?" "You're not listening to me!" I reply, pulling away. But he squeezes me harder, forcing me to hide my face on his broad chest. "No, I've got it all worked out. You just need to leave it to me." "I don't think you understand."

Heeseung pulls away after a few dozen seconds in which I could feel his heartbeat quickening as a pain so intense, a burning sensation that radiated from his chest throughout his body, tore through me. Now he looks at me, still cold, but now also tired. He still strokes my arm, even though we are far apart.

"Sorry about earlier…" He whispers, sounding remorseful to me. I shake my head in embarrassment. "N-never mind. Thanks for apologising." "I didn't think I was that strong."

Heeseung looks at me again, caressing my face with the back of his fingers, he looks worried but I can't tell if he really is.

"Sunghoon… Did he tell you about the video?" "What video?" The boy blinks in displeasure, but still doesn't seem friendly. "Ah, I thought so. Get it from him." "Since you know… w-why don't you tell me?" His eyes aren't tired, they look completely drained, I shiver. "Because he has to pay a price if he wants to spend this night with you. - Then he comes close to my ear and sighs. - But we can be friends, really. I will, for you."

I am speechless. I don't know what to say, but I have a bad feeling. Heeseung doesn't want to tell me, he seems happy to have given the task to the minor. A video… there's usually nothing good in videos.

In the midst of all this, my heart exploded.

"How many saw it ? What video is it, Heeseung?" He walks up to me and kisses my forehead, the gesture so warm that it shuts me up again. "I'll take care of it, don't worry. Not everyone knows, don't worry… Jungwon is young and a bit crazy, but Jay keeps him calm. I'll take care of it".

I swallow, what the hell am I supposed to say? I don't understand, my head is spinning. Really, maybe I'm at my limit, maybe Sunghoon hasn't left me any strength to hold on and cope.

I fainted, totally. I can't see anything, but I'm not going to fall, I'm sure of that.

I don't know what's happening, I don't know how much time is passing, but when I wake up, I'm in Sunghoon's room and I don't understand. I was with Heeseung before, right? The owner of the room is watching me, and when he notices that I'm awake, he approaches me and touches my forehead with the palm of his hand.

"Are you all right?" "Ah… yeah, I think I got dizzy." Sunghoon doesn't answer immediately, but sighs. "You literally fainted." I look at him in silence, suddenly remembering Heeseung's words and stiffening. "How did I get here?" "Never mind." He replies more seriously, as if he has just remembered that he was angry with me.

His back is to me as he opens the wardrobe, takes off his jumper and remains shirtless, carefully tucking the jumper into the dirty laundry basket. I can't help looking at it, man… you never get tired of looking at something perfect.

No, Amanda! Stop it!

As he takes off his trousers too, but puts them back in the cupboard, I sprint to the bed and cover my face with both hands as I see his… I've never seen him look so good, but he's got a really nice bum!

"Come on! Don't c-change in front of me!" "You're kidding, right?" He replies annoyed. "Go to hell, Park Sunghoon." I say involuntarily. He gets irritated. "What did you and Heeseung talk about?"

I don't answer immediately, I want to ask him something first. He seemed to understand, even though I didn't speak, and then I looked away.

"Why do you have such a useless room?" "Useless? - He asks me offended. - You have it wrong, the word is 'tidy', you need an overhaul." "Is it because of what you told me at the ice rink?" "Why are you suddenly so curious?" "I want to ask you things because I may never get the chance again." I explain. "What are you talking about? - He raises his voice and comes towards me after pulling on a pair of baggy trousers, the fabric of which is so thin it looks transparent, beige in colour, and which fall damn well on his long legs. - Where are you going? You said you accepted, you…" "I've accepted, but I hope I never get to this level of intimacy with anyone again." I sigh, uncertain. "Oh yeah? Then why should I answer? - He says, looking at me reluctantly as he slowly buttons his pyjama jacket, the same colour and fabric as his trousers. - You just lied all the time and you enjoyed it. That was what you wanted, wasn't it?"

Sunghoon… that really seems to be him.

"Exactly." I nod sadly.

That's not true, I didn't lie, I tried not to expose myself and him, I tried my best to restrain myself, to deny and hold back, but Sunghoon didn't notice, and that makes me sad, even though it shouldn't.

"Stop it, stop it now." He tells me seriously. I look up… he's handsome, even in his pyjamas. "What?" "You can't really… say you didn't feel anything."

I swallow, we didn't talk about it directly, he didn't ask me, but… if I stop caring about him, that's good. That's what I want, for both of us.

"How… how did you know I was… t-touched for you?"

He blanches, growing more serious but also more nervous as he tightens his lips in annoyance, his beautiful eyes narrowing on me.

"When was I going to say that?" "Think about it." I answer him.

He swallows and remains silent. Then suddenly he sits down on the bed, facing me, staring at me.

"I didn't tell you so you wouldn't… get hurt. I'll take care of it… so you don't have to worry. - He says this with a solemn air, he understands the gravity of what has happened, he doesn't even touch me because he can see from my gaze that now is not the time. - Think about it, he didn't wait a second to tell you! It won't come out, you have to believe me, you shouldn't have known". "I shouldn't have known?!" I raise my voice, stunned. "So you're just going to get sick! You're already so nervous, I didn't want to put you through this." "Sunghoon, I'm not a child you have to protect! - I remind him, and he gets even grumpier (he looks like the child now). - These things are so important, you can't think of excluding me voluntarily! I… oh my God, there's a video of me like this? And I'm alone, aren't I? So… oh fuck". I say, curling up into a ball and covering my face with my hands as I make moaning, shocked noises. "I… - He tries to put his hand on my shoulder, but suddenly, uncomfortably, decides not to. - T-Told you, you don't need to worry." "Tell me what happened….. Sunghoon…"

He sighs, obviously not wanting to talk about it. I don't know if I should understand his decisions… they are so arrogant, but basically kind. No, it's disrespectful - and yet… why do I feel he meant well?

"Jungwon has a video in wich… - he looks up embarrassed and I can't believe he has the courage to be embarrassed in such a context - you… you touch yourself, for me, clearly". "I understood that too me…" "Well, he won't publish it, he just wanted to scare us. - He sighs and lowers his face. - He knows we'll do anything to get him."

I put my hands back to my hair, how embarrassing, how pathetic, but most of all….

"Why the hell does he have cameras in the room?" "I wish I could find out too… I'm so angry that he saw a moment like that. - He comments in a very nervous but distracted tone. - You touched yourself for me, I should have the video! "I didn't touch myself for you!" I remind him, because suddenly that seems to be the important thing, not the possibility of completely and permanently destroying my reputation. "Don't lie. You're so perverted…" He laughs.

I slap his arm, slowly but quickly, I don't want to hurt him but I want him to understand that I want to do it to him. He laughs again, then stops and stares at me, realising he has been smiling too long, he suddenly becomes serious again.

"Look, I'm sorry, but Jungwon is a good guy. It's just that…" "He hurt your face." I reply, just finishing his sentence, not feeling sorry for him, looking at the wound on his mouth that I've deliberately ignored so far. He nods. "Exactly, we screwed up. But nothing will happen, tomorrow I'll make sure it's erased, but tonight is… the last night." "I don't want to d-do it anymore. I'm tired." I explain, hastily and lyingly.

Even if I wanted to, I'm still angry. The fact that he wanted to protect me isn't enough, can't be enough.

"That's not what I meant… you're really perverted." I hit him again. "Stop it." My tone is serious. "So… Heeseung told you about the video, but didn't explain anything, leaving me with the thankless job." "It would have been nice if you two didn't take it as a game." Serious comment. "I told you to trust me." "He did too.- I force a smile. - But I'm still not quiet." "Not enough? - He says. - Everything I've told you, what I've done, even though we've known each other for such a short time… isn't it enough?"

I look at him in silence, even angrier, but I can't think of anything to say at the moment. Sunghoon, seeing me so transparent, smiles softly, but I can tell he's sad too.

"I'm not clear either, I can only say I'll do my best to protect you. But you can only trust me, I have no other way to prove it." "Please… don't use this video against me. Not now, not in the future, no matter what happens. C-Can you promise?"

Caught, he's speechless. That means he's seriously thinking about it, and I don't know whether to be happy or not.

"Of course, who do you think I am? - Sigh. - You should tell Heeseung." "Stop talking about him." I reply annoyed. "Stop telling me to." He replies again before pulling me into his arms and throwing himself onto his bed.

I can't even struggle at the moment, he's stretched out tiredly. He's holding me so tightly I can't even move, but he's made himself comfortable and even rests his chin on my head, breathing exhaustedly.

"This really won't be the last time." He tells me, although he seems to be talking to himself.

What should I do? What could I say? Even now I feel sad, and I'm pretty sure it's not because of the video. I like to close my eyes in his arms, I like the smell of his skin, so fresh.

"Stop saying… such things." "Sleep and shut up." "Are you… going to sleep like that?" "I said shut up. - He says, making himself more comfortable and holding me. - I'm sleepy."

#enhypen #enha smut #enhypen smut #kpop smut #enhypen heeseung #enhypen sunghoon #sunghoon smut #heeseung smut #enha fanfic #enhypen jealousy #jealousy #jealosy #love triangle #reverse harem #smut #spicy

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mrsstruggle · 5 months ago

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All The Good Girls Go To Hell - Prologue // Harry Potter AU

Summary: It's been a year since the war ended. Cedric Diggory is found dead and in debt to The Damnation. His sister, Y/N Diggory, offers to take her brother's place in The Damnation to pay off his debt, but things become complicated when she starts to develop feelings for the two handsome leaders.

[OC version on Wattpad]

Pairings: Y/N x Fred Weasley, Y/N Diggory x George Weasley (separately, not together because I will not write that)

Series Warnings: Language, Mentions of Death/Injury/Grief/Torture, Possible Grammar Mistakes (please let me know if there is anything else), and A Lot of Smut!!

Words: 1.5K (this is short but chapters will be longer!)

Note: This is a Harry Potter AU. This is set after the war.

Another Note: Cedric was not killed during the Triwizard Tournament, but he was tortured at the cemetery.

[I had this queued for 7PM, but it didn't post :/]

Masterlist

All The Good Girls Go To Hell Masterlist

---

Standing outside the infamous joke shop Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, Y/N Diggory never felt so out of place. She has a briefcase in one hand and the other nervously tugging at the end of her short, red dress in hopes that it would somehow get longer. She needs to go inside, but she can't find the willpower to get her legs to move.

Kids run past her, shouting and laughing, as their parents rush after them into the shop. There are more people out than she thought there would be. She chose to come as close to closing time as possible hoping there would only be a few people here. She wonders if it stays this crowded or if it's because the kids return to Hogwarts in a week.

"Are you actually going to go inside, or are you going to stand out here all day?" Y/N jumps slightly and quickly looks to her side to see where the voice is coming from. She locks eyes with a handsome redhead who is now standing to the left of her.

"I'm supposed to meet someone inside, but my legs seemed glued to the sidewalk for some reason." She nervously jokes.

The guy chuckles lowly. "Do I need to see if I can find something to get the glue off," he quickly retorts.

Y/N snorts out a laugh as she looks back down at the ground. She notices that he's wearing a thick, black pair of combat boots. As she looks back up at him, she observes that he doesn't look like the type of guy who would come to a joke shop. With his black tactical joggers paired with a plain black t-shirt, he seems out of place, but she knows he could say the same thing about her.

"Hopefully it will just wash away with my nerves," she brings the briefcase in front of her so she can grip the handle with both hands, "I don't know if you can tell but I've never been here before."

He glances down at her briefcase before shifting his gaze back up, "I wouldn't say it's too obvious, but you do look a bit overdressed. What's in the briefcase?"

"It's nothing," she chuckles nervously. "Would you believe me if I said I was trying to start a new trend?"

"Not at all but if you don't want to tell me you don't have to. My name's Charlie by the way."

"I'm Y/N."

"Well, I've got to get to work but it was nice to meet you."

"Yeah, you too." Y/N watches as Charlie walks into the joke shop and disappears into the sea of children.

She takes a deep breath as she tries to remember what Hermione told her to do. She needs to go inside and get a Penelope's Purple Pussy Cats. Take it to the front counter and ask if it comes in red. She remembers that Hermione told her to specifically ask "Does this come in red?" and she can't ask any other way.

After standing in place for a few more seconds, Y/N finally wills her legs to move and opens the large entrance door. If she thought the sound of children screaming and laughing was loud from outside the shop, it was even louder inside. Kids were running around—going from stand to stand—checking out whatever caught their eye. You would think it was the shop's opening day, but it's been open for years.

Y/N moves to the side as a group of boys run past her towards the back of the store. She looks around hoping to see what she's looking for, but there are too many people in the store to see anything else other than people. Right now, she's cursing Hermione for not giving her instructions for where the hell to find a Penelope's Purple Pussy Cats.

She slowly weaves her way through the crowd as she searches for what she's looking for. She can feel her nerves get more and more on edge as people bump into the briefcase she's holding.

After walking around the store for another ten minutes, she finally spots what she needs. Tucked into a corner of the store, behind what appears to be love potions, she finds the Penelope's Purple Pussy Cats. Y/N grabs the box closest to her and makes her way to the checkout.

As she approaches the checkout, she silently thanks the universe for there not being a line. She quietly approaches the blonde girl standing at the checkout and sets the Penelope's Purple Pussy Cats on the table, "Um...does this come in red?"

Y/N's heart starts to race as the girl stares at her silently. Did she say the wrong thing? Is this one big prank to make her look like an idiot?

The girl, Verity (according to her name tag), entered something in the cash register before turning back to her, "Three Galleons."

Y/N quickly dugs into the purse that is hanging from her left shoulder. She slams three Galleons onto the counter, wincing at how harshly she set them down.

Verity slowly scoops up the Galleons and puts them into the register. She closes the register as her other hand dings a bell right next to it. The ding rings loudly throughout the store.

Y/N's hands tap nervously on the briefcase's handle as she waits for something to happen. Hermione told her that someone would come and take her to where she needed to go, but is she supposed to stand here and wait or is she supposed to step aside somewhere?

"Bill will take you to find what you need," Verity says as a tall redhead—who, other than the large scars across his face, looks like the one she met earlier—emerges from the sea of people around the store. He stops when he's next to Y/N.

"Follow me," he says gruffly. He turns and starts walking toward the back of the store. Y/N tries to follow as closely as she can so she doesn't lose him amongst the crowd.

As they reach the back of the store, Bill opens a door with a sign that says 'EMPLOYEES ONLY' and gestures for her to follow him inside. Walking inside what appears to be a large storage closet, she watches as he easily moves a large shipping crate labeled 'FRAGILE' to reveal a trapdoor on the floor.

As he opens the trapdoor, Y/N can hear loud music and see flashing lights coming from the now-open hole in the floor. Looking a little closer, she can see an enclosed stone staircase that seems to spiral down into somewhere unknown. She looks up to see Bill looking at her expectantly—like she was supposed to just be okay with walking down into an unknown place underneath a joke shop.

"Are you going to go in?" Bill asks her.

"Yeah, obviously..." she looks back and forth from him to the staircase nervously, "Are Fred and George down there? If so, how do I find them?"

Bill's face somehow turns more serious than it was before, "What do you need with Fred and George?" He glances down at the briefcase in her hand before looking back at her face.

"I need to speak with them," she replies, straightening her posture a little to look more confident.

"About what?"

"That's none of your business."

Bill sighs, "Look, I don't know what you want from them, but they don't like to mix business with pleasure. If you need to speak to them about business, you'll need to make an appointment with Verity. If need to speak with them about something else," he looks her up and down, "you should be able to find them quite easily. Just don't come back crying when they don't see you again."

Y/N scoffs in disgust, "I'm here to talk business, and I won't be making an appointment. It's important."

"If it's so important, why can't you tell me?"

"Why would I tell you?"

"I'm their brother, and I'm the one holding this door open for you. I can easily close it if I'd like."

Y/N sighs as she contemplates what to do. Does she tell him why she's here? Does she turn around and come back another time? She doesn't know how many people know about her brother's involvement with the twins or about what he did.

"I need to talk to them about Cedric Diggory," she says, trying to look as serious as possible. Y/N notices Bill's jaw clench in anger when she says Cedric's name.

"What about Cedric?"

"I'm here to pay off his debt."

Bill scoffs, "What? He decides not to show up today and sends some girl in to pay off his debt for him. It's going to take a lot more than whatever's in that briefcase to make up for what he did."

"Well considering he's never going to show back up again, this is the best they're going to get." Y/N shrugs.

"What does that mean?"

"He's dead. Cedric's dead."

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@xxemmarldxx @esposadomd @ladyjenjay

#harry potter au #fred weasly x reader #george wealsey x reader #fred weasley #harry potter smut #fred weasley smut #george weasley #george weasley smut #harry potter imagine #fred weasley imagine #george weasley imagine #draco malfoy #charlie weasley #bill weasley #blaise zabini #hermione granger #harry potter

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myloveforhergoeson · 2 months ago

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ash's september 2024 reading round up

find all the books and fics i read (or didn't read...) this month under the cut with a link to the synopsis and my reviews/ratings attached :)

this is just for fun! i'm not a professional, i just like to read <3

booklist:

Summer Reading by Jenn McKinlay(18+!)

• review: this was a solid read. nothing incredible, but definitely better than some of the other crap i've read this year lol. i enjoyed the dynamic between the fmc - a dyslexic chef named sam - and the mmc - a librarian named ben - and the interesting relationship between someone who hates to read and someone who's life revolves around books. honestly i was really interested to see how this played out between the two of them, but like one week into them fooling around he begins to read a book aloud to her and the conflict is magically solved. sam just loves audiobooks now and i wish the author had done more with that. both sam and ben have goals they're striving to reach and i love that ben is able to see his through to the end, but the reader is kind of left wondering about sam's and i would have loved for that threat to have been tied up, but overall this was a cute read. my only real issue with this story was the quality of writing. there were some parts that were super cringe and were clearly written by a millennial emulating the 'how do you do fellow kids' meme that i could've gone without... anyway. i really enjoyed the relationship exploration between sam and her budding teenager brother. after not being in each others lives for a bit, i thought their bonding over the summer was adorable :) would've loved to read a book just about them tbh. neither of the main characters were the kinds of characters to write home about, but overall i did enjoy the progression of their relationship. just kind of a middle-ground novel.

• rating: 3/5 seasons of the bear that taught me all i know about cooking

fic list:

assorted works of @ceruleanmusings <3

look around your world, pretty baby

Blood Diamond; Year Four

i could always write literal essays on your work i swear to god but these two works this month really got to me as per usual. the first mickames one shot for james canon bday was so freaking adorable. i had literal butterflies in my stomach like i was there on the date with them... despite the urgency of the time crunch, which you did exellent in making it seem like it was somehow slow and fast at the same time, god i read this like three times over. mickey and james are just my favorite ;-;!! and blood diamond always hitting in the feels of course... this one in particular really got to me though. the combination of brooke's annoyance with james the last few chapters really came to a head here at the hair salon. he's just a kiddo!! let him play in peace!! and then her figuring out a way to potentially exploit his singing talent... i'll wring her neck i swear. as always tysm for sharing and tagging me in your works 😭 i could read them forever and ever and ever <3

2. assorted works of @partiallypearl/ @praetoravila <3

it's nowhere close to closing time

all over again

be my weekend lover (but don't be my friend)

can i have this dance?

lolive kissssss

you got me paralyzed

you know all my deep dish

this is such a STACKED LINE UP AUGH!! from the beginning with it's nowhere close to closing time... kogan... save me.... i love the first chapter introduction to both the characters and the setting. it's been so exciting theorizing how the story will play out from here and i can't wait to read more!! and of course... all over again with olive my beloved... i just can't get enough of logan and olive and their fucked up little relationship. jo's party chapter literally had me shitting my pants ngl and you already know im thinking of lolive on a daily basis. they're my roman empire i stg... the other three lolive on shots had me by the neck too - from the conversation with kendall 👀 to the quinceañera chapter to their KISS augh im too obsessed for my own good... and saylors introduction one shot!!! ahh!!!! you always have such interesting and well-rounded ocs i'm so jealous!!! i can't wait to learn more about saylor and their relationship with both kendall and lucy :)) macie's story too... she and katie are so adorable. i love the dynamic you've set up between the two of them as they both navigate hollywood!! obsessed as always. im up in your dms literally every single day gushing and i wouldn't have it any other way!!!!!!! <3

3. assorted works of @selangkir <3

mrs. knight one shot

girl time rush (anniversary reread🙏)

iconic work as ALWAYS!!!!!! i truly think your character interptetations of btr/side characters/ocs are so unique and bring such a fresh perspective to the story! the mrs. knight one shot, on top of being hilarious, began to expand on her pretty one dimensional characterization in such a short story and it blew me away. unmatched creativity!! lord knows she needed the j anyway if im being COMPLETELY honest. and i cannot believe gtr turned one year old this month what the fuck!! what the actual fuck!! i swear i've read all three chapters about a bazillion times. ty for being so accepting of roxy and using her as a vessel to tell your story too <3 i'd be lying if i said i wasn't so inspired by sabrina carpenter rn i already have another chapter draft of my own cooking in the google docs..... <33

4. assorted works of @inkameswetrust <3

the windowsill pt. 4

the windowsill pt. 5

oh LORD such incredible updates to this sweet story. these chapters always pack such a punch! i expect nothing less from kames fan #1... im obsessed with the continued relationship between katie and kendall in pt 4. btrtv lacks so heavy on their sibling-ness so i always love seeing it expanded on in fic! and JAMES AND KENDALL GOING OFFICIAL AOAJFOBOBGA i had knots in my stomach! you've also so clearly set up stakes and kendall's future fears it's so genuine and just real it hits so hard. pt 5 with brooke had me almost throwing my phone at the wall if im being honest. the way she spoke to kendall was bonechilling and i'm nervous yet excited for their future together <3 never stop kamesing the world needs it so so sos sooo bad !!!

5. assorted works of @naquey / @ithinkyouhealedmyheart

ghostwriter chapter 1

ghostwriter chapter 2

hi <3 welcome to the reading round up! i love your story sm i'm so grateful to be here for the very beginning of kenonnie and their sweet relationship. ronnie is such a cool character! there is so much depth and dimension to them and i love that every single chapter we learn something new about her!! from her relationship with addy and callie (who i also ADORE and can't wait to learn more about) to his struggles with his father's health... god... the amount of thought you put in is clear and i'm just astounded! the second chapter was also super cool too; i love how you took existing characters and tweaked their relationship so we could learn more about how you view the two of them. i'd never thought to write something with just kelly and rebecca - it's so inventive, just like the (spoliers lol) other chapters you've published since <3 tysm for sharing your writing with us, i'm so excited to see ronnie's journey progress!!!

#weak ass month who am i #two books behind on my reading challenge :'(#ash talks books #summer reading #jenn mckinlay #ceruleanmusings #partiallypearl #praetoravila #selangkir #inkameswetrust #naquey #ithinkyouhealedmyheart #sorry if i missed anything im doing my best to tag every post i rb with fic

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crustless-toast · 9 months ago

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Screaming Your Name

Here is Chapter 1 to Screaming Your Name! An Oc x Daryl Dixon story! I'm gonna really try to not make the story too cringy and if I am please let me know so I can fix it lol. I hope you enjoy it either way!

I'm a little new to posting on Tumblr so I hope to be able to link all the chapter together properly as I post them. Until then, Enjoy!!

Raven was like any normal person. She worked a boring retail job that paid close to nothing. Just to go home to an empty house, pay bills, eat and sleep. Nothing exciting really happened in her life. She was just different than the average person. She enjoyed the little things. She was more of a glass half full kind of gal. Always enjoying the little things in the world. Unfortunately, the world came to an end. She wasn’t the athletic type but when monsters are chasing you down to eat you alive the only thing you can do is run. Running is what led her to her new life with people she never thought would enter it. She found friends, family, and love. She learned to fight, to face her fears, and to keep pushing forward even through the dark times. Out of everything all she wanted was to get one man to open up to her more. To show him the good that was left in the world. For Daryl Dixon to see there is still hope in the world. That life is still good.

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Gripping my blanket closer to my body, I shiver as cold sweats soak my body. I don’t know how much more I can handle this. My cold that I've had from the start of this, has turned into something much worse.

What medicine I did have is gone. Finding medicine is close to impossible nowadays. A few Advil here and there, as well as a bag of cough drops can only get you so far. Everywhere I’ve looked has already been picked through. The more populated areas are hard to look through. Too many of the dead filling those areas. I can't look through them on my own. It’s close to impossible.

The summer heat had no effect on my cold body. The warmth just feels like the blanket. The slight breeze just makes me shiver more. If it was a normal day in the old world, people would think I was insane having a thick blanket wrapped around me with the sun beating down on me. But in the old world I’d have medicine and I'd be fine in a few days.

The sound of the dead was behind me and there was nowhere to go. No place to hide. I looked around to maybe find something, but there was only an empty road surrounded by woods. I grip my knife, deciding my only option was the woods.

My legs were getting so heavy. I was having a hard time staying ahead of them. I needed to keep moving but I had to stop. My throat was burning from the sickness and the heat. I need to stop and to drink some of my water. Quickly getting back up. The sun was starting to set and it was getting too dark to see.

I was getting too tired to keep going. My eyes feeling like someone is pushing them closed. I drop my bag, dropping to my knees but I kept a tight grip on my knife. Taking deep breaths that end with me coughing. I covered my mouth with my blanket, needing to keep quiet incase any of the dead were near.

I jump at the snap of a twig not that far from behind me. Looking around, seeing if there was anything up ahead. I didn’t see much, but there was something ahead of me. It was hard to tell what it was exactly. But what light was left I could see something reflecting. Like a window.

Grabbing my bag, I moved ahead, dragging my bag next to me. Not having the strength to pick it up. As I got closer, I could see it was a cabin of some kind right in the center of an open field. Abandoned before the world ended.

Growling was behind me. Staying here was my only option.

Throwing my bag on my shoulder, almost making me fall. I raised my knife and slowly made my way to the cabin. I head up to the steps of the porch, listening closly to see if I could hear anything. So far nothing.

I closed the door behind me, locking it with its old rusty padlock and placed a chair in front of it that was close by. Moving forward once my eyes were adjusted to the darkness. There was another door in front of me that led to the other side of the cabin. I drop my bag, heading to the door to close it as well as put a chair in front of it. In case something comes in I could hear it first.

To my left looked to be some kind of dining room with a table flipped over and chairs thrown all over. As well as the kitchen that appeared to be cleared out with every cabinet opened wide.. To my right I think it was a living room. It was empty with only a couch that looked so comfortable. The livingroom appeared to have a small hall that lead to other rooms. Each was empty with nothing in them but some old furniture that was rusted and destroyed.

Grabbing my bag I made my way to the couch. My body relaxed as I sunk into it. Not caring about the dust. Exhausted from having to run all day.

Reaching in my bag I grabbed my water, but it was empty. Just my luck. I didn’t realize I drank it all already.

My body was so cold. I could see the bottle shaking in my hands. I dropped it, not caring where it went. Gripping my blanket even tighter around me as I lay down, my knife still in my hand. Finally being able to rest my head on something that wasn’t a hard floor. I don’t care that I can feel the springs in the cushions. I was so tired and sick. I couldn’t keep my eyes open any more. No matter how hard I fought it. I needed rest so I let myself sleep.

~~~~~~~

A loud bang woke me from my sleep, but I couldn't move. My body was so heavy. I couldn't keep my eyes open long enough to see if it was one of the dead or not. I was still shaking to the point where it hurt even more. My bones are sore from, well, everything. My knife was no longer in my hand. I must have dropped it in my sleep.

I could hear footsteps getting closer to me. I opened my eyes just enough to see the sun was up, shining through the windows. A figure walked into the door frame. I can barely make out a man holding something. It was pointed at me.

“You bit?!” The voice was stern, southern and loud.

I close my eyes, not able to keep them opened any longer. “N-no. Sick.”

“Sick, how?”

My lips quiver as I try to speak, “Fr-from a cold. I-i had fr-from the begin-beginning.”

“Is it just you?” He was demanding an answer.

I nod, too tired to answer.

I felt a hand being placed on my forehead. His fingers were cold and rough.

“Ya burin up.”

I grip my blanket closer, “So-so cold.”

I hear things moving around. I couldn't tell if he was taking my stuff or looking around the place. I didn’t care either way.

“My camp has a Doctor. ‘M take ya to him,” Before I could answer him, I could feel his arms snaking under me. He grabs my arm and places it over his shoulder. Picking me up from the couch. With my blanket still gripped in my hands, I wrapped my arms tighter around him. Scared to fall.

“Gonna make me hot,” He says in my ears.

He started to walk. I opened my eyes enough to see who this man was. His face was a little dirty, with some facial hair around his mouth. His hair was short and filled with sweat. His eyes were sharp, looking at everything around him.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

He looked down at me for a second, and his eyes were a sharp blue that when the sun was shining just right, it made them shine a beautiful sky blue.

My eyelids were getting heavy again so I closed them and fell asleep to the sound of his breathing and the morning birds chirping.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Is that Sophia?!” A women screams, waking me up just enough to hear whats going on around me.

“Nah, just some girl I found. She sick.” I hear from above me. The man that was caring me.

“Bit?” Another man spoke.

“Said it’s some cold.” He held onto me tight as he got closer to the people

“Bring her inside. I’ll take a look at her.”

I was still too tired to speak. I fell back into my deep sleep. To a place that was safe.

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon drabbles #daryl dixon imagine #the walking dead #daryl dixon smut #daryl dixon x reader #norman reedus #rick grimes #twd #twd fanfiction #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon fanfiction #oc x daryl dixon

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cuttergauthier · 1 year ago

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The Story Of Us

Kirby Dash x Female Strome Reader

Warning: Trade, Pregnancy, Fluff, Wedding

word count: 2.0k

This insta edit to Follow this pic.

let me know what you guys think🤍

The One Where He Gets Traded

I am currently in Kirby's home town, Kirby and I have been dating for 2 years now. I'm so glad my brother introduced us when Kirby first arrived in Chicago.

For the past 2 summers I've been coming to Kirby's hometown to spend time with him and his family.

It’s late in the afternoon, I am sitting outside on the porch swing reading a book, while Kirby was inside taking a phone call.

It is a beautiful sunny day. I am enjoying the sun shining on my face.

I heard the door open and closed. I looked up to see Kirby making his way to me. He looked stressed so I put my book down. He sat down next to me and let out a breath.

I put my hand on his shoulder, looking at him worried.

“Everything okay?” I asked.

“Not really,” he sighed. He was looking at the lake. I put my hands on his cheeks and turned his face to look at me.

“What’s going on Kirby?” I asked. He started to worry me, did something happen? Is he going to break up with me? Is he going to tell me to go home?

I sighed before putting his hand on my right thigh.

“I just got off the phone with my agent… I got traded” he said. My eyes widened. Oh my god.

“I’m so sorry Kirby… where are you going?” I asked. Is he going to break up with me now? I the aren’t going to be in the same city anymore. Is he going to ask me to go with him?

“Montreal, they’re going to announce it tonight at the draft.” He said

“Oh kirbs, it’s going to be okay” I said, he put his arm around me and pulled me closer. I laid my head down on his shoulder.

“What’s going to happen to us?” I asked

He sighed before kissing my forehead.

“I was hoping maybe you would come with me? But if you don’t want to i totally understand, we could always do long distance, all i know is i don’t want to break up.” He said, I smiled softly at him before I raised my head and kissed his cheek.

“I would love to go with you Kirby” I said, his eyes widened.

“Really?”

“Of course, i love you, i don’t want us to be living in 2 different countries” i said

“I love you so much,” he said, smiling.

“I love you too, here’s to a new chapter in our lives” I said happily

“I can’t wait to do it with you,” he said smiling.

The One Where He Proposes

Kirby and I have been living in Montreal for the past five months, it’s now the all star break. We have been dating for three years. I couldn’t be happier, as much as I miss Chicago, Montreal is amazing.

My brother Dylan is now in Washington, Chicago ended up trading him also.

Thankfully none of my brothers made the all star team so we all decided to go on vacation together to Hawaii. I've always wanted to come here, it’s absolutely beautiful.

Tonight is our last night here so Kirby said he wanted to take me out on a date so I am currently getting ready.

I decided to wear a beautiful knee length silky pink dress. I curled my hair and put on some mascara, I didn’t feel like doing my full makeup since we are on vacation.

Once I was done getting ready I left the bathroom to see Kirby sitting on the bed scrolling on his phone. When he heard me he looked up and smiled.

“You are absolutely gorgeous,” he said.

“Thank you, you look handsome yourself,” I said.

“Are you ready?” he asked. I nodded.

He got up, put his phone in his pocket and took my hand. We made our way to the restaurant.

The food was delicious, we talked and laughed the whole time.

When we left the restaurant Kirby looked at me and smiled, the sun was about to set.

“You want to go for a walk and watch the sunset?” He asked.

I smiled.

“I would love to”

We walked to the beach which was only like 5 minutes. When we got there we took off our shoes and left them on the sand before we started walking by the water to watch the sunset.

I kept looking at the sky. It was stunning, it took me a few seconds to realize that Kirby wasn’t next to me.

I turned around to see where he went only to find him down on 1 knee with a ring in his hand.

“Oh my god” I said shocked, My hands went to my mouth.

Kirby smiled.

“Yn you have made me the happiest man alive, you have been by my side for the past 3 years, i love you more than you’ll ever know, i want to spend the rest of my life with you, will you marry me?” He asked. My hands are shaking, and tears are rolling down my cheeks.

I started nodding.

“Yes, yes” I said shakily.

He put the ring on my finger and pulled me in a kiss.

“I love you so much” i said

“I love you more” he said

We heard cheering behind us. I turned around to see my brother and their wives along with my 2 nieces.

They all congratulated us.

I couldn’t be happier.

The One Where She Finds Out They're Pregnant

Kirby and i have been married for 4 months now and we have been trying for a baby for the past 2 months

We had no luck.

I woke up a little later than usual, Kirby was already gone for morning practice. I got out of bed and put on a hoodie since it was chilly this morning.

I went to the kitchen to make myself some breakfast. Kirby won’t be back for 2 hours since Morning practice just began.

I started cooking some eggs and the smell made me nauseous so I put it aside, turned off the burner and rushed to the bathroom to vomit.

Once I was done I brushed my teeth. My eyes widened when I thought about what could make me feel like this.

I rushed to grab my phone to check when my last period was. The last time I should have had it was last month when Kirby was on a road trip but I never did. How did I not realize before?

I rushed to our bedroom and changed into leggings and grabbed my purse and jacket before making my way out the door.

I rushed down the street from our apartment building. There was a small pharmacy.

I went in and bought two pregnancy tests. The cashier lady smiled when I paid and told me good luck. I thanked her and made my way back to the apartment.

My mind was going crazy, could I really be pregnant? Or am I just stressed?

I went straight to the bathroom to take both tests. Once I was done I washed my hands and put a timer on my phone for 5 minutes.

Kirby and I really want a kid, so I am really hoping that the test says positive.

When the five minutes were up, I took a deep breath and turned both tests around.

My hands flew to my mouth, tears started rolling down my cheeks. We are having a baby.

I couldn’t believe it.

I didn’t want to wait to tell Kirby I was pregnant but I also wanted to do something cute. Thankfully Emilia Armina lives next door to us, and she has 1 kid so I thought I could possibly ask her if she still has baby stuff I could borrow just to put in a box and I could give Kirby once he got home.

I got out and went to knock on her door.

She opened the door and saw I had been crying so she pulled me in a hug.

“Are you okay?” She asked worriedly.

I nodded

“Yes, sorry i didn’t mean to worry you, i um… just found out I’m pregnant, i was wondering if you still have a little onesie and baby skates i could borrow… I want to surprise Kirby as soon as he gets home and he’ll be here in less than an hour so I don't have time to go to the store but I want to do something cute… i’ll give them back afterwards, "I rambled. She smiled big and pulled me in another hug.

“Oh my god, Congrats! I know you guys have been waiting for this” she said.

“Thank you”

“Come in, I'll go get the stuff, “ she said smiling.

I nodded. We went in and she made her way to another room. She came back with baby skates and a cute little white onesie.

“Here you go, Kirby’s going to be so excited,” she said.

“Thank you so much, I promise I'll bring it back tonight.” I told her.

“No rush, take your time, and congratulations again, you and Kirby are going to be amazing parents, '' she said, giving me one last hug before I made my way back to my place.

I hate an old box in my closet so I took it out and put the onesie and the baby skates in it along with both pregnancy tests. I left the box on the counter so I can give it to him when he gets home. In the meantime I went and cleaned the food i didn’t eat this morning and decided to eat a bowl of fruits instead.

Once I was done eating I went to put the bowl in the sink when I heard the front door open.

Kirby made his way to the kitchen, when he saw me he smiled before making his way to me.

“Hey babe,” he said before kissing my forehead.

“Hey kirbs, how was practice?” I asked.

“ Not too bad,” he said. He made his way to the fridge and got himself a bottle of water.

“ I have something for you,” I said nervously. He looked at me confused.

“You got me something?” He asked. I nodded and gave him the box.

He looked at me then the box.

He put it down on the counter and I went in front so I could see his face.

He slowly opened it.

When he saw what was in the box he froze. I stood there nervously.

He looked up at me with tears in his eyes.

“Are you serious?” He choked out.

I nodded with tears in my eyes.

“Yes”

“Oh my god” he rushed to me and pulled me in a hug

“We’re going to be parents” he said

“You’re going to be a dad” i said

“I love you, and I can't wait for the baby to be here,” he said smiling widely.

“I love you more,” I said before kissing him.

The One Where They're Baby Girl Is Born

My due date was supposed to be yesterday, but the baby decided he didn’t want to be born yet.

We decided to stay in Montreal for the summer since I was 8 months pregnant once the season ended.

My parents came down from Toronto, Kirby’s parents and brother also decided to come down. My brothers and their wives said they would be here today. Everyone wants to be here to meet our baby girl.

It’s now 5 p.m. and I finally started having contractions but they are far apart so I knew I still had time before we had to go to the hospital. My mom called my Ob to let her know, so she’d be prepared.

At around 7:30 p.m. they were much closer apart so Kirby took me to the hospital. Our parents said they would meet us there.

After what took forever at 10:45 p.m. our baby girl was born, she was precious.

I’m holding her in my arms while Kirby sits next to me on the bed.

“She’s the cutest baby ever” Kirby said in awe and kissed the side of my head.

“I’m so proud of you, thank you for making me a dad” he said with teary eyes.

“Couldn’t have done it without you, i love you both so much” I said

“I love you both, my two beautiful girls,” Kirby said smiling.

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missvelvetsstuff · 1 year ago

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/missvelvetsstuff/719658565357420544/i-have-a-request-please-if-its-open

Thank you so much for taking my request.

So Steve and the reader met while he was on the run and he fell in love with her and Thanos blipped the people but she was there for him no matter what

He proposed to her before they got married Scott lang showed up and etc

Steve saw Peggy and started acting weird with the reader and after returning the stones he came back old asf😭

But the reader had a surprise for him (a pregnancy) what he wanted all those 5 years he spent with her and she got mad and he argued back saying he deserved after everything he did for the people😭 so she didn’t tell him about the baby and left

After a few months she was at the grocery store and ran into Bucky and his eyes were on her swollen belly and she saw the look on his face and said “yes it’s his baby” on the way to his apartment the thousands questions on his mind “did Steve knew his girl was pregnant? Why would he leave her? If i was him I would’ve never left her. Okay stop she is /was your best friend’s girl but he left her someone he once kissed.

There was a lot going on Bucky’s mind, so decided to locate her and find where she lives so he did find her and she was shocked to see it was bucky on the door

So he demand to help her and they became closer and more comfortable around each other and ofc Bucky told Sam about the situation and Sam told the old Steve 😤 and Steve tried contacting her but couldn’t but Sam told him where she lives and he saw his Best Friend and best girl kissing while she was carrying his baby he got mad and possessive/obsessive so he went back and came back younger you know take what was his before he got selfish and left🙄

You can add more angst I wanna cry😭

I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to respond to your request. It took me a minute to flesh it all out and it'll be 5-6 chapters. Hope you like it.

This story was getting too long for me to manage so I've broken it up into chapters and will be posting each when I finish editing. I'm almost done writing so it should be posted by the end of the week. It's been a minute since I saw Civil War so please forgive me if I mess up any details.

Apparently I'm unable to write short blurbs or drabbles, sorry.

As always reader is female and above average height.

Hope y'all enjoy.

The Wrong One

Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader

1. Meeting

Warnings: swearing, angst

Y/N had watched the news about the Avengers fight in Germany. All the anchors calling it a 'civil war' but she was in NYC in 2012 and saw the aliens trying to invade. She knew that the world was less safe with the Avengers fighting amongst themselves.

After losing her brother in the Battle of New York she felt her mortality acutely so quit her office job, packed up her apartment and put everything in storage and left to see the world. She had no other family or close friends to keep her in the states and yearned for something different. At this point she had seen most of Europe but lingered in Ireland, entranced by its beauty and the wonderful people.

The bar in Dublin where she was working was quiet with only a couple of customers, typical for suppertime in the middle of the week, so she worked on inventory and organizing the storage room to make room for tomorrows delivery.

The bell rang and she went up to the front to see who was there. It was a couple, the man was taller than her and took off his cap as he walked in. He had broad shoulders and a tight t-shirt, sunglasses covered his eyes and he walked to the furthest corner booth, facing the door.

The woman, pretty with blonde hair, came up to the bar "4 shots of whiskey and 2 pints of Guinness." and handed her a bill "keep the change"

Y/N nodded "Thank you. I'm Y/N if you need anything else."

Y/N knew who they were even with their attempted disguises but she certainly wasn't going to help any crooked government catch some of the Avengers so kept her mouth shut.

The next night the captain returned with another man who was black and had an easy smile, obviously the Falcon. He came up to the bar to order their drinks and flirted a little with her.

This kept up for a few weeks. Always the Captain but he had a few companions that seemed to be on a rotation, Falcon, the Scarlet Witch and a tall slender blonde man that Y/N couldn't place. Black Widow hadn't returned since the first night.

One night the Captain finally took off his sunglasses and smiled at her which made her knees weak and stomach flip, he was beautiful. Every night after that he graced her with that smile. She wanted so badly to talk to him, outside of drink orders and thanks, but didn't want to intrude.

Then she saw something on the news about them being sighted outside of Dublin and they stopped coming in. She hoped they could avoid the authorities. When the pub was slow she daydreamed about the Captain coming back to sweep her off her feet in some grand romantic gesture and she would go on the run with him.

She laughed at herself for her childish fantasies but figured they weren't hurting anyone. It wasn't like she had men, or women, knocking down the door to her apartment above the pub.

A couple of months passed uneventfully and life stayed predictable. Until the Captain came back in by himself. She felt her heart speed up, butterflies swarming her stomach and a tingle in her core.

She smiled at him "Evening. Would you like your usual or are you feeling adventurous?"

He looked at her, right into her soul and smiled, making her feel faint. "I'll take a pint and..." He paused awkwardly and she waited patiently "and, your, uh your number?"

Y/N laughed and the Captain felt his heart clench, he hadn't seen anyone like her since...

"Are you sure? You don't seem like-"

He interrupted her, almost shouting "NO!" Realizing how loud he was he spoke softly, giving her a chill, when he said "I mean yes, definitely yes" and looked at her hopefully.

"How could any girl refuse a request like that?" and took his offered phone to put her number in, naming herself 'Barmaid'.

His grin grew until he realized something "You don't have an Irish accent. Where are you from?"

She laughed lightly "It's called an Irish brogue and I keep hoping it'll rub off on me but no such luck. It's been almost 2 years and some of my regulars tease that even an Irish brogue can't overpower a New Yawk accent."

"New York? Whereabouts? Brooklyn here."

She smiled knowingly at him "I already knew that, learned about you in school. I wrote a term paper about your friend Bucky Barnes."

Steve blushed and chuckled "When did you realize who I was?"

"The first time you came in with Natasha Romanoff, you were pretty easy to recognize. Don't worry, I won't sell you out. I've always been on your side."

Steve looked at her seriously "Not always on my side if you wrote a report about Bucky." He teased.

"I seem to recall you always being on the same side. I noticed you never bring him in, is he ok?"

Steve nodded, touched by her warmth and concern "Yeah, he's uh somewhere safe, getting help to get rid of the Hydra programming."

She smiled "I'm glad he's being cared for. What about you? Are you taking care of yourself?"

He sighed "Not many opportunities for that on the road. I'm more concerned about my friends, if we were caught....."

He left off and looked at his hands, not wanting to contemplate that possibility.

Y/N reached out to touch his cheek gently, smiling when he leaned into her hand, and pulled his face up to look at her. "You'll be in just as much trouble as they will." She cupped his other cheek "You need to take care of yourself too."

Steve closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying her soft touch. Feeling sparks where her skin touched his, a stirring in his groin making a small moan slip out. When he realized it, his eyes snapped open and looked into hers.

His eyes darted around the room, confirming that no one else was in the bar before he leaned forward until his lips brushed hers, his eyes fluttering closed.

Y/N could feel her heart racing, was Captain America really kissing her in a pub in Ireland? She moved her hand from his face to the back of his neck, pulling him closer.

He smiled into the kiss and teased her lips with his tongue which she accepted and the kiss intensified until they were both out of breath.

Steve pulled back, smiling "I've been wanting to do that since the first night I came in."

She tskd him "And we've been wasting all this time? For shame Captain."

He leaned in to kiss her again before she put a finger on his lips. "I'm actually still on the clock but closing in an hour. If you want to hang out until I'm done, we can get some food and eat at my place." She asked holding her breath. She hadn't taken many men home since she stopped here but how could she not.

His grin grew and he blushed bright red as he nodded "Yes, absolutely."

They spent that night talking, getting to know each other in between making out and discovering each other's bodies.

The next few weeks they spent as much time together as possible, both dreading the time when he would have to move on.

One night a month after they first kissed, Steve came later than usual and she could tell he had something on his mind.

After she gave him his drink he grabbed her hand and looked at her sadly. She knew before he said anything. "You have to go, don't you?"

He tried to keep the tears in his eyes from falling and couldn't find the words so just nodded. After a few minutes he composed himself and spoke softly "I'm so sorry. I never meant. I can't find the words."

She nodded sympathetically and held his hand "I know Steve it's alright."

"No" he shook his head "It's not alright. None of this situation is alright but my time with you has been the only real peace I've had in, well ever really."

He pulled his hand away and stood suddenly "I'm sorry but I have to go. I'll try to come back soon."

She stood up and went up the stairs. When she came back she was on her phone. She finished her call and looked at Steve with a smile on her face, then grabbed his hand, a backpack in the other hand "So let's go."

Chapter 2

#steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #angst with a happy ending #the wrong one

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wrongcaitlyn · 7 months ago

Text

also, since i feel bad about making you guys wait so long and i'm also not 100% sure if i'll manage a chapter before sunday (will be trying, but it's been a whileDJSD) here's a snippet of what i've already written!

and a little update on the chapter, i've got like.. 1/6 of it done? ish? and i def could've written more earlier but instead i spent an hour planning and outlining one of nico's future music videos with @wronghuntress

it's a very cool mv and i am very proud of it and just like the details and aesthetics of the next few albums are ahghsldkjsldfj im so so excited for you guys to seee!! i feel like i should be making pinterest boards for these. but that's my brain derailing me again. i will do that over summer.

so!! snippet!!

They decide on the end of July for the rescheduled concerts. Partly because it gives Nico a little over two months to mentally prepare, partly because Will has a summer class in June so he’d be able to travel with them in July (along with Leo, who invited himself along too), and partly because it worked with Alex’s schedule.

Until then, though, there turns out to be a lot to get done.

Will’s rescheduled finals have been all finished by the end of May. Apollo has set up a series of job interviews for the three main people he’s decided they need—a publicist, a tour manager, and an assistant for him (that last one was pushed for by Nico, and then Will as well, and because Apollo isn’t able to resist their combined efforts, it worked)—throughout the last week of May and early June. The Archery World Championships are from the tenth to the sixteenth, in the Netherlands, and the entire family will be there to watch Kayla.

From there on, it’s studio work, studio work, and more studio work throughout the rest of June. It’s a lot of therapy. It’s some secret project that Apollo keeps obviously working on, but is clearly attempting to hide the evidence of. Nico doesn’t know whether he should be concerned, but his eye bags have faded slightly, and he’s returned to styling his hair rather than throwing it up in a bun, so Nico thinks that’s a good sign.

The New York estate doesn’t have a proper studio—at least, not as good as Apollo’s house in LA. Still, it has the basics, including a mic, a computer with some audio editing software that Nico’s familiar with, and a keyboard, so while Will is studying and out taking his exams, Nico is there.

For once, he feels like he doesn’t have much to write about the situation. It scares him for a bit when first walking into the studio, expecting to open his phone to an extensive list of depressing lyrics, only to find nothing.

He tells Mr. D that during their next therapy session. There’s no concrete answer, because Nico isn’t quite sure what exactly prompts him to spill out his thoughts in lyric form usually, but Mr. D had suggested the idea that instead of falling straight to the conclusion and having to sort out his thoughts, he was instead stuck in a sort of paralysis while Will was in the hospital, and then immediately talked out his feelings in person rather than on paper afterward.

Nico supposes that it makes sense. But that doesn’t stop him from rushing to the studio as soon as he’s sure Will won’t ‘accidentally’ overwork himself once left alone for over an hour—just to see if there really isn’t anything left to say.

It turns out, there is. There always is. But the songs that he writes now feel more self-deprecating and slightly relieved rather than the accusatory, grieving tones of the rest of the album. And besides, he thinks that he’s too close to a possible release date (or, at least, the beginning of the promotional singles process) to be planning an entirely new series of songs.

He still writes them, of course. They’ll just have to remain in lyric form, for now, though.

#this was not proofread i just copied it from the doc ummm hope it's good i do not have the patience to revise #i've written a chapter's worth (and my chapters are like 5-7k words) of rhetorical analysis essays over the past few days #and my brain is brained out #wrongcaitlyn #talk ur talk fic

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thefrogdalorian · 10 months ago

Text

The Best of Both Worlds - Chapter Five

Din Djarin x Female Reader Modern!AU

❁ Series Masterlist ❁ My Masterlist ❁ Read on AO3 ❁

Word Count: 13,028 (!!) Rating: General Summary: Being back in the real world and returning to work after an incredible weekend at the convention where you had so many fun experiences is taking its toll on you. The thought of collapsing on your couch in front of The Mandalorian is the only thing keeping you going. However, the universe has other plans for you. News of an out-of-hours tour for a private client that you are asked to lead almost sends you over the edge, but when you finally meet the man, he is the opposite of what you were expecting. Weirdly, he seems familiar... Content Warnings: Reader deals with some depressing thoughts and has a panic attack. Past sexual harassment of reader is mentioned but not specified or described in detail. Also I got a bit political with this one in terms of being a British Museum hater, but not sure that should be a warning when it's a pretty logical train of thought. Author's Note: Wow. This was an absolute MONSTER of a chapter and now over a third of the total word count so far! I have to give massive thanks to my beta @suresnips for making it through such a long chapter. My brain had melted after editing it and your feedback helped so much! As you read, you'll understand why it was so long. I knew it was going to be long when I came to edit it yesterday as it was already approx. 6k. Well, I more than doubled that, ha. I don't know if it's obvious but I'm a HUGE history nerd. However, I've only been to the British Museum once (for like an hour), and I was so disappointed with it. It truly is just full of things we looted and it did not me feel an ounce of patriotism, I was pretty disgusted. So I used reader as a mouthpiece for me! Also not sure if anyone remembers the absolute legend(s) who stole things from the museum but perhaps in this universe, it was our dear reader [for legal reasons this is a joke]. All the exhibits mentioned are real things in the collection and I'll link some information about them if anyone is curious: The Sutton Hoo helmet, Dürer's Rhinoceros, Lewis chessmen, Rosetta Stone Well, that's enough nerdiness for one A/N. Really hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you for reading and for all the kind words so far, it means the world to meeeeeee!! If you're enjoying it, please don't be shy! I'd love to hear your thoughts :)

5. He's So Tall (And Handsome As Hell) [Reader's POV]

The first few days back in your routine after the convention had ended and Ria had gone home had been so desolate and depressing that it was difficult to make it through the day without bursting into tears. Real life could not compare to how incredible ForceCon had been. It was as though, for that long weekend, you had left the real world and inhabited the Star Wars galaxy. You wanted to stay there forever. Until you had been forced back down to earth with a devastating thud once the Dockside Convention Centre’s doors had closed for the final time on Monday afternoon.

You were grieving so many different aspects of the entire experience. You missed everything. Primarily, of course, you missed your best friend who was now a continent away, separated from you by an entire ocean. But you also missed the electric atmosphere that came with knowing everyone, no matter their age or where they came from, was there for one reason and had been united by their passion for the same thing as you. It was an incredibly special feeling to know that you were ultimately united with everyone you interacted with through your shared love of Star Wars. You felt as though you had taken for granted the amazing talks and stalls, just hearing people discuss their passions had been enthralling. And of course, you missed the cosplays. Not walking past multiple incredible Mandos every day was taking some getting used to. Being back in the real world was disappointing, uninspiring and lonely, and you were thoroughly miserable.

Things were not getting any easier as each day this week had seemed harder than the last. Mercifully, though, it was finally Friday and you only had a few more hours to keep it together at work before you would have an entire weekend to yourself that would consist of just you, your comfiest clothes and endless episodes of The Mandalorian. You had already rewatched it twice through this week, the series you so adored had once again been a crutch in your most desperate hour of need. Watching Mando traverse the galaxy had once again helped you to present to the world as a functioning human being, despite how awful you had felt every day.

Usually, you at least made it back home first before you completely fell apart and the weight of your emotions became too much for you to bear. Today, however, you had been unsuccessful in managing to keep a lid on your emotions and had practically sprinted to your favoured hiding spot – a bathroom in a back corner of the third floor – to finally fall apart. You felt slightly pathetic as you sat on the toilet and stared at the lockscreen of your phone, feeling the hot tears scorch your cheeks. It was the photo you had taken with the incredibly realistic Mandalorian cosplayer that you were sure was the same one from the panel. He had been incredibly kind, offering to take another photo with you, despite how flustered you were. You felt like you had embarrassed yourself in front of him, babbling about a cosplay competition that he was likely fully aware of, given how incredible his costume was. You were stunned when he stopped you from walking away so that he could pose properly and Ria could snap an even better photo of you. It was an incredibly kind gesture from a stranger and was something you could have imagined Mando himself doing in the show. As well as how realistic the cosplay was and the way he had moved that sent your pulse racing, the man had even sounded like Mando. The resemblance was truly uncanny.

As you sat there, clutching your phone, you were contemplating texting Ria. You knew that she would always have a comforting word of advice for you. But you also knew she was thousands of miles away, dealing with returning to work herself and overcoming jet lag. You didn’t want to bother her, so you took deep breaths and squeezed your eyes shut as you attempted to regain your composure so that you were in a position to face the world again. You thought back to the sequence of events that explained how you found yourself locked in a deserted toilet in the back corner of the offices of the museum, attempting to compose yourself before you faced the world once again.

It had been an awful day and you briefly wondered if you were in fact cursed. The weather had been miserable and rainy that morning, you were greeted with grey skies as you stepped out of your flat. You had learnt from your mishap the previous week though, and actually remembered to wear a coat. But that was where things stopped going right for you. Your tube line had been slightly delayed, resulting in it being even more crowded than usual when one arrived and you eventually boarded. The walk to work had been uneventful, aside from being slightly frustrated by the miserable British weather, but at least you had remembered your headphones so the soothing sounds of the Mando soundtrack could transport you to a distant galaxy.

You arrived at work, grumbling as you removed your headphones and were forced to face the real world. Ever since you walked through the ornate doors into the beautiful old building that you worked in, it felt as though everyone you encountered there had been conspiring against you to make your day as hellish as possible. It was one thing after another and before you knew it, you were at breaking point.

It seemed that today, everything had gone poorly. Your coworker, Tom, whom you had always had pleasant – if a little one-dimensional – chats about The Mandalorian with, was being a little off about your attendance at the con. When you arrived at the office, he approached your desk and asked you questions about the con and the jacket you had made, having seen it on your Instagram. At first, he had seemed genuinely interested but before long they veered into the condescending and that, in addition to the smug smirk on his face, made you feel intensely self-conscious. It reminded you of when the popular kids at High School would pick on the uncool kids, like you, for their enjoyment. As though your increasing uncomfortableness was a game to them. Tom's behaviour transported you back through the years to emotions that you never wanted to visit. Luckily, unlike in High School, this time you had somewhat stood up for yourself and asked him to leave you alone so that you could focus on your work.

After successfully getting Tom to leave you alone, there were various tasks to be completed. You had taken two days of vacation time for the con and despite how little you had missed, it still meant there was inevitably a backlog to catch up on. It meant communicating with annoying co-workers. After a weekend surrounded by people who just got you in the way people at the con had, it was incredibly frustrating to be back amongst ‘normal,’ people.

Unsurprisingly, you had found that you were able to hold more conversations with people when you were all there for a common reason. It was less daunting somehow, if the conversation fizzled out you had Star Wars to lean back on. Now, though, there was none of that. You had to make small talk with real people. Deal with their needs. Day after day. Working in a museum had been your dream job throughout High School and University. You had lofty dreams of curating your own exhibitions. An ambition that was, as yet, to be realised. Though you would not give up.

Instead of designing exhibitions, you had found yourself giving the occasional tours to school children and manning the information desk for any visitor questions. It was a more people-facing job than you had intended. Which was a shame because you loved the collection, but you hated people. You could stand for hours and talk about the intricacies of an Anglo-Saxon helmet, but making small talk with visitors was beyond you.

Which is why you found the thought of delivering an intimate guided tour to a rich asshole tonight deeply upsetting, despite the brave face you had attempted to put on when your manager had delivered the distressing news.

“We need you to stay late tonight. A client has booked an after-hours visit.” Julie, your manager informed you when you were taking your first break of the day in the staff canteen.

“Who are they? Rich? Famous? Single?” you replied jokingly. It had been a humorous reflex, designed to hide your true feelings about the situation. You were proud of yourself, despite the buzzing that you suddenly felt rising in your head.

Julie just rolled her eyes and smiled. She was well used to your sense of humour by now, she knew you weren’t seriously going to attempt to start anything inappropriate with the visitor. Besides, most of the time you hated them and reverted to insulting them in ways too subtle for them to grasp.

“Very funny,” Julie deadpanned. “You can leave to get some food and have a break after your shift, but be back here and ready to meet him at six.”

“Okay,” You sighed and nodded slightly. There was no point in getting mad at Julie, you knew these kinds of things were not her decision but came from the museum higher-ups who scheduled such tours and requested certain employees. You knew you should see it as a compliment that you were frequently requested, but instead, you saw it as a burden and something to be resented rather than celebrated.

Then Julie gave you a name – it was Dan or something? You couldn’t even remember – but your head was spinning with too many thoughts and trying to process the news, to be in a position to absorb any of the information your manager was telling you.

After Julie had finished speaking, you promptly excused yourself from the canteen and ran to your preferred hiding place when the world got too much – an old, enormous single toilet tucked away behind a staircase on the third floor, where no one ever bothered to go. There were far more conveniently situated toilets throughout the building than this particular one, with its heavy wooden black door, complete with brass handle, and plumbing that did not appear to have been updated since the Victorian Era.

But for you, it was a haven. A perfect place to deal with your emotions towards the whole situation. You were more than a little frustrated at the news, which was how you had probably come across to Julie. In fact, as you sat there in the toilet fighting back tears, you would say that you were devastated. It was so cruel; the one thing that had been keeping you going, the thought of comfortable clothes and Mando, something so simple, had almost been in your grasp. You could almost feel the soft blankets that you would burrow yourself underneath on your sofa, only to hear that for reasons beyond your control, you were going to have to wait even longer. It all felt so unfair.

All you had wanted to do after such a difficult week was return home, change into comfortable pyjamas and sloth out on the couch in front of an episode of The Mandalorian. Instead, you had to babysit some rich asshole who was inconsiderate enough to hire out an entire museum like this, without any care whatsoever for the workers’ wellbeing. I mean, if it was Beyoncé or someone, you would understand their need for privacy. But some random guy you had never heard of, an absolute Z-lister? Well, you hadn’t met him yet, but you already thought that he was pathetic and selfish.

The whole system was inherently unjust. These private visits forced museum staff, who were barely on a salary above minimum wage, to stay behind after hours just to accommodate their whims. It sickened you to think about the sums of money that would be exchanged. Dan Nobody – or whatever his name was – was throwing tens of thousands of pounds at the museum to accommodate his enormous ego, all the while you would never see a penny of. It boiled your blood with how unfair it all was.

With your desolation now replaced with defiance, you made your way back to your office to continue the work that you desperately needed to catch up on. You sighed as your footsteps echoed through the wide corridors of the stunning old building. It was an absolute honour to work in such a beautiful place where history surrounded you and you knew how fortunate you were in that sense. But it would be a lie to say that you were completely happy with the realities of working for such an institution. As much as excitement had fuelled your first few months working here… now, disillusionment lingered around every corner. Gone was the bright-eyed, enthusiastic girl who had strolled in here straight out of University, feeling as though the world was at her feet because she had just prevailed during a tough application process and would now have the opportunity to work with the largest permanent collection of any museum in the entire world. Instead, she had been replaced with a more cynical woman who felt disenchanted by the surroundings which had once excited her so deeply.

After returning to your office, you spent the rest of your day busy catching up with your work, albeit with a knot of dread in your stomach about the prospect of having to put on a smile and greet yet another out-of-touch, obscenely wealthy man. You really hoped he wasn’t another creep. Unfortunately, you had encountered more than enough of them for one lifetime. Inevitably, every few months, some minor royal or businessman with more money than sense would book out your museum and due to your knowledge and enthusiasm, you were usually selected to be their guide. You had long suspected it was certain other traits which made you a desirable tour guide, though. For instance, you thought it strange that your colleague Tom never got chosen for the tours despite the fact the two of you had started at the museum at a similar time, so had a similar position and level of experience. But Tom was never selected, and neither were pretty much any of your male colleagues. No, it always seemed to be the younger female workers who were chosen to show the wealthy men around the museum.

You loathed every single last one of them. You had never met a single one who you didn’t want to throttle within approximately five seconds of meeting them. You knew whenever you walked up to them what you were in store for, as they leered at you with their toothy grins and always pulled you in for a hug and kiss on both cheeks. It made you feel like just another exhibit for them to gawk at, not the intensely knowledgeable human being that you were. They always dressed the same way too, in ghastly chinos and loafers. They selected the kinds of outfits that made sure any onlooker could tell just by how they dressed, the extent of their personal fortunes. You hated every single last one of them.

It felt so wrong to you that these people – who probably had some connection, not too far back in their family tree, to the atrocities that led to the museum possessing such an extensive collection in the first place – could pay obscene amounts of money to close off an entire museum that was usually free to enter. That money would be much better spent in other places. And every single last one of them had always treated the young female staff as though they were a package deal. They seemed to have the impression that the money they had spent entitled them to sexually harass the staff. So, you weren’t exactly looking forward to when six o’clock rolled around and you would have to endure another creep.

For the rest of the day, you were somewhat grateful that you had things to catch up on. Oh sure, it was dull archival work with difficult colleagues, but it was better than having too much time to think about the horrors that awaited you in the form of a golden pinky-ring-wearing asshole at the end of the day. Plus, it gave you a chance to charge your social battery in preparation for the tour that night.

But the end of your shift at five finally rolled around and you had an hour to grab some food after the museum shut and eat before you had to meet the client at six. You thought, bitterly, as you marched down the steps that at the same time you would have to be entertaining a rich creep, you could have been well on your way home to sprawl out on the sofa in front of The Mandalorian. Unfortunately, the universe was really out to get you today. Mando would have to wait.

As you stood inside the noodle shop around the corner from the museum, waiting for your order to be freshly cooked by the friendly owner who knew your order off by heart by now – such was the frequency of your trips here – you took your phone out of your pocket to message Ria. You hadn’t heard from her all day and you just wanted to vent to her, not expecting her to reply immediately as although it was early afternoon for her and you were sure she’d be awake, she would still be adjusting to jet lag after flying over to London for the convention and probably working herself.

[ilovemando] 17:16 ugh ria i have to work late tonight. some rich asshole has booked out the museum for a private tour

Fortunately, the ellipses popped up to indicate that Ria was typing an immediate reply. You breathed a sigh of relief, absolutely thrilled that you had some virtual company in your hour of need.

[thisistheslay] 17:17: Nooooo bestie I’m so sorry! Do you get paid overtime?

[ilovemando] 17:18: yeah but that’s not the point. i just want to go home and watch my comfort episode on the couch. post-con depression is hitting hard :(

[thisistheslay] 17:18: Don’t worry, The Foundlings will still be waiting for you when you get back! I’m sure seeing Mando protecting those kids will cheer you up, even if it’s the thousandth time you’ve seen it!

You began to tap out a reply, but your order number was called before you could send the message. After grabbing your bag of noodles, you tapped out a one-handed reply:

[ilovemando] 17:26: soz was collecting my noodles lmao. but ur right i guess. i just want to watch it NOW. i wanna see my man kicking butt to protect a class of Mandalorian kids, not deal with some old creepy rich guy who thinks renting out the museum also entitles him to sexually harass me. ugh. Mando wouldn’t treat me like that!! sorry for the rant. hope ur jet lag is getting better. miss u :(((

[thisistheslay] 17:29: Awww that sounds awful. I wish I could be there for you and give you a big hug. Let me know how it goes, yeah? You can call me when you’re done on the way home if you want to rant. I’ll be thinking of you. I love you, you got this! <3

[ilovemando] 17:21: thanks ria. love you too <3

After reading and replying to Ria’s soothing message, you put your phone away as you walked back to the museum. You wanted some peace and quiet and sought out one of the break rooms to eat your food in and mentally prepare for the evening ahead. Fortunately, the museum had almost entirely cleared out of both visitors and staff by the time you made it back and you were able to enjoy your food in peace.

Ria’s words had definitely comforted you, but your heart ached at how much you missed her. You knew that you were incredibly lucky to have a friendship like the one you shared, even if it meant that you couldn’t always be physically close to her. Remembering how you had sobbed on the platform before you put her on the tube to the airport as you were forced to say goodbye almost made you cry again. Then, Ria hit you with a lovely quote: ��How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” It had made you cry harder, but when she revealed it was borrowed from Winnie the Pooh, your tears had turned to full-on laughter. Trust Ria to pull that one out at that moment!

You smiled at that memory. At her sense of humour and how she always seemed to know the right words to say to you at precisely the right time. She was always there to build you up when you were feeling down, and boost your confidence when you needed it and in happier times, she was there to share in them too. All that, despite the distance. You missed her terribly. In some ways, you felt as though it might have been easier if your online friendship did not translate to the real world and things could have just fizzled out instead. Then again, you couldn’t imagine your life without Ria in it. Despite the distance, at least you could keep in regular contact thanks to the power of the internet. You were so grateful that she had been there to help talk you through the nervousness you felt about the upcoming guided tour.

You mindlessly scrolled through various social media apps on your phone as you watched the minutes tick by towards six p.m., looking at various pictures of Mando in an attempt to steady your nerves. You looked through all the messages that you had missed in the group chat, too. Although the second season of The Mandalorian had only finished airing in January, it appeared from various rumours that the third season was already in production. The details were always scant and anyone with any meaningful involvement in it was surely sworn to secrecy on account of the need to hide Mando’s identity. But a source had seemingly confirmed that production was beginning at The Volume, the studios that lay just a few miles outside of London.

The timing of the news really could not have come at a better moment for you. It was something to focus on and to look forward to. Although this tour would inevitably be as awful as those that had gone before, it would soon be over and you would be able to join in with all the excitement and theorising with your group of friends over what lay in store for Mando in season three.

So, with a mixture of emotions, you left the break room and made your way through the lofty halls of the museum towards the entrance. You were both bursting with excitement at the knowledge that somewhere – only a few miles from here – the next season of your favourite show was currently being filmed and filled with and trepidation for the ghastly man that you were certain you were about to encounter, You braced yourself for the awful man you were sure you would be tasked with showing around the museum. You were trying your best to stay calm but you were absolutely dreading the tour. You were not in any mood to engage with people, let alone a complete stranger, today.

As you neared the front entrance, you cast your mind back to the previous Saturday. Particularly, to the way you had stood up so passionately to defend Mando at the awful panel at ForceCon. See, you could do things, even in the face of idiots. You were a capable person. You would survive this.

But when you entered the entrance hall of the museum, you found that the man you were to give a tour to was unlike anything you had been expecting. Firstly, you noticed that he was not in the standard chinos and loafer uniform of the aristocracy. In fact, he was dressed rather casually, although still smart, in a high-necked brown jumper with dark brown trousers that almost matched the turtleneck sweater in shade. You noticed that he had brown boots on, too. The guy must really have a thing for brown. Then you noticed how uncomfortable the man seemed. He had not seen you yet, but he was standing there, glancing around the hall somewhat nervously, his fist clenching and unclenching at his side. But there was something else about him that you found intriguing… because the man you were to give a tour to had a child at his feet.

You were surprised to see such a young child; he couldn’t have been more than two or three years old, clinging to the man’s leg. Even though he had initially seemed different from all the others, now you found that the sight of such a small child brought out feelings of resentment from inside you. You thought about what a waste of money it was, to book out an entire museum for just him and a child that would never remember it. But you were still intrigued at what his story was and in particular, why he seemed so anxious.

You were so transfixed by the sight of the man you were to give the tour to, that you almost didn’t even notice the fact that he was standing next to one of your friends. Mo was one of the few people you actually liked at the museum and the two of you always had conversations whenever your paths crossed. You shared similar interests and humour. Mo was about your age and was always open to your rants about the museum, given his background as the son of immigrants from Pakistan. You found him a breath of fresh air, even if he still hadn’t watched Mando, despite you repeatedly nagging him to.

As you had closed the last few steps between you, though, the man did something you found rather odd. He gave you a strange look, almost a scowl, before rapidly looking away and focusing on anything else in the museum other than your impending presence next to him.

“Hi, Mo,” you smiled at him cheerfully, in an attempt to diffuse whatever tension the sight of you had evoked for the man. Suddenly, you felt immensely grateful that he would be somewhere in the vicinity during your tour. Mo nodded at you as you stepped forward and introduced yourself. “Hello, nice to meet you. I’ll be your tour guide around the museum tonight. Dan, was it?”

But the man did not say a word. He just stood there gawping at you, eyes wide and mouth opened slightly as his brown eyes remained fixed on your face. You were a little unnerved, not least because of the strange look he had given you as you approached. For a brief moment, a look of recognition flashed across his features. But you were certain that you had never seen this man before in your entire life. You would remember if you had, you were sure of that. He was incredibly handsome, probably at least ten years older than you and presumably married, judging by the baby he had with him. Bizarrely, you felt as though the pressure was off, even though it wasn’t like a simple museum tour was going to be the start of a great love story or anything. Besides, regardless of how attractive you found him, this man was strictly off-limits; it would be completely improper to start anything having met at work like this.

The man finally seemed to shake himself out of whatever stupor he appeared to have fallen into and finally introduced himself.

“Oh! Uh, hi. No, not Dan. My name is Din… Din Djarin,” Din explained as he offered his hand to you, which you took and shook slowly.

The warmth of Din’s enormous hand as it engulfed yours, dwarfing your smaller hand as your fingers touched his palm and felt the rough calluses there sent a chill down your spine. There was an unmistakable shock of something there, caused by the feeling of his skin against yours. You tilted your chin up to look at his face as your joined hands hovered in mid-air.

You were first taken in by how brown Din’s eyes were as they gazed at you as your hands slowly stopped moving together. They were deep and warm, the colour of the wood panelling in some of the oldest rooms here in the museum. His prominent nose was perhaps his most striking feature. It was aquiline and achingly beautiful, it reminded you of some of the sculptures the museum had of Roman Emperors. Din unquestionably had movie-star good looks, but without being unapproachable in his attractiveness. Yet, you were still absolutely captivated and intimidated by him. As your eyes continued to traverse his face, you noticed too that he had a neatly trimmed moustache underneath his stunning nose. There was slightly patchy stubble dotted along his defined jawline and high cheekbones, too. But the moustache was captivating, sat as it was atop his plush lips… lips that looked so soft and inviting…

Woah! You were going too far. You dropped Din’s hand abruptly and cleared your throat as you mentally berated yourself for staring at the lips of a guy you didn’t even know – a visitor, no less! A visitor who you were about to give a tour of the museum to, a visitor who had brought his young son. It was beyond inappropriate.

“Pleasure to meet you Mr Djarin. I’m looking forward to showing you around all of the wonderful exhibitions we are so lucky to have here,” you smiled, attempting to ignore both the heat you felt on your cheeks and the confused expression on Mo’s face.

Upon hearing your voice again, Din looked slightly taken aback and that look that you had momentarily witnessed flash across his features, as though he remembered you from somewhere, returned. But just as quickly as it had appeared, the recognition was gone from his face, replaced with a stern scowl. His brows pointed firmly downwards, along with his lips that were oh, so plush. A little wrinkle in the centre of his browline above his nose suddenly became prominent, which showed his age. You thought it was cute and ached to smooth it out with your fingertips.

For heaven’s sake! You really needed to get a grip, it was ridiculous to be pining like a little lost puppy over a man you had just met. Especially one who seemed to have an aversion to you on the scale that Din clearly did.

You stood there, heart pounding as the scowl did not fade from his features as quickly as you hoped it might. Whatever problem Din had with your presence was lingering. Great, he doesn’t like me, you thought. How had you already messed it up? Usually, you at least managed to hold it together for a few minutes before the mask slipped and your disdain for the rich assholes became obvious. But this was a new record, even for you. The two of you had barely spoken. And you actually didn’t hate this guy, you were more intrigued by him than disgusted, even if he was behaving a little strangely in your presence.

You were just about to offer to get Din a different tour guide and apologise profusely for whatever it was about your existence that was so off-putting when he finally opened his mouth and spoke.

“Please, you don’t have to call me Mr Djarin. Just Din is fine,” Din said, brown eyes widening as he suddenly snapped out of whatever trance he had been in. Then, he nodded his head – causing a few brown curls to fall over his eyes – and added: “This is my son, Grogu. I don’t know if you were expecting him and I hope he isn’t too young for the tour, but wherever I go, he goes.”

“Aww, he’s adorable!” you exclaimed, unable to help yourself despite your usual disdain for children. You crouched down so you were eye-level with Grogu to greet him properly too. “Hello there, Grogu,” you whispered softly.

The little boy was dressed in a green onesie and his dark curly hair peeked out from underneath the matching green hood. You noticed too, now that you were closer, that he was fiddling with a shiny metallic ball, clutched tightly in his hand. It was a pretty unusual outfit for a museum tour, but you did not judge either of them. You noticed that Grogu seemed a little nervous, as he stood there, unmoving with a blank expression and contemplated you. The biggest brown eyes that you had ever seen in your entire life were staring right back at you, traversing their way across your face.

With his impossibly large eyes and deep bronze skin, even you who ordinarily disliked children had to admit that Grogu was a little charmer. Perhaps it was the fact that you had never really been surrounded by that many children which explained why you had never been particularly fond of them. Either way, even you had to admit: that Grogu was completely adorable. Even if he did not seem keen to acknowledge your existence in any meaningful way.

“He doesn’t always take kindly to strangers…” Din explained as you knelt there, waiting for a response that never came.

“Well, that’s fine!” you smiled at Grogu before you stood up straight. “As long as he takes kindly to museums, I’m sure we’ll have a great time together.”

“Thank you,” Din nodded and swallowed thickly, his voice full of an emotion that you could not quite place.

“How old is Grogu?” you asked, attempting to make some more small talk to put the pair of them at ease.

“He’s thirty-eight months,” Din said quietly as he looked down towards his son, who was still clutching onto Din’s calf with the hand that wasn’t grasping the metallic ball.

You usually found it obnoxious, the way parents measured their babies’ ages in months – just say he’s three! But there was something about the way Din looked at Grogu, the pride you saw there in those warm brown eyes, that stopped you from getting frustrated with him.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to have you both here. There’s no minimum or maximum age for loving history!” you said enthusiastically and then internally cringed. You had perhaps said that a little too enthusiastically to remain authentic to yourself. But part of being a good tour guide was giving your guests a little bit of a show and despite their somewhat mystifying reactions to your existence, you were eager to impress Din and Grogu. “Are there any areas that you are particularly interested in seeing? Unfortunately, the collection is so vast that we won’t have time to see it all, but if there are any specific areas of history that you are especially interested in, I’ll make sure that we see them!”

“To be honest, I don’t know that much about uhh… your history,” Din said, reaching to touch the back of his neck with his hand in a soothing motion.

“Well, you’ve come to the right place to learn!” you said reassuringly.

The man before you seemed somewhat embarrassed about his lack of knowledge, but you loved it when people came here as a blank canvas and you got to tell them about things they had never heard of before. It was one of the most satisfying parts of the job.

Ironically too, when Din had said he did not know much about your history, the man clearly had no idea that most of this museum did not even show British history. It was an inescapable fact that you had become increasingly sickened by during your time working here. The reality of just how much of the collection had been accumulated due to violent pillaging and plundering of other nations' resources had led to you becoming increasingly disillusioned by the institution as a whole. Although the museum boasted an extensive, impressive collection… so much of it was stolen treasures from the rest of the world.

You tried not to shy away from the fact, even though management would have been furious if they ever discovered you had brought such a truth up. So, you had to be tactful in your methods. After all, you were a firm believer that change came from within. Despite how tempted you had been to quit your job when you had first realised how little of Britain's history was here, and how the colonial past was gushed over, you had stayed, fearing that perhaps your replacement would have been ignorant to such a fact. You also remained, hoping that you could one day leave the museum in a better condition than the one you found it in.

“Enjoy the tour,” Mo nodded at Din. Then, he approached you and whispered for only you to hear: “Already gave him the stern, don’t-be-a-creep and don’t steal anything talk. Call me if you need anything,” Mo finished and handed you a walkie-talkie.

You placed the device in your pocket and smiled as Mo left, grateful that you had a good friend who would look out for you. Although it seemed that it would be unnecessary, given just how guarded your little tour party seemed.

“Right!” you exclaimed and clapped your hands together, unofficially marking the start of the tour. “If it’s okay with the pair of you, I would love to show you to the exhibition which contains the Lewis chessmen. It’s the oldest surviving chess set from the British Isles and it’s one of the most famous pieces in our collection.”

“Sounds good to me,” Din nodded with a smile as he leaned down to pick Grogu up. Then, he indicated for you to lead the way with his hand.

You kept your distance as you headed in the direction of the infamous chess set. Sometimes you would hang back and engage the guests in small talk or point out various features of the museum. But there was an unmistakable anxiousness present in both Din and Grogu, so you decided to give them space as they adjusted to their new surroundings.

You had intended to take them directly to the chess set, but then an idea struck you for how to get Grogu more engaged. Although you weren’t the biggest fan of children, the feeling did not appear to be mutual as the kids who visited the museum on school trips usually warmed to you surprisingly quickly. Grogu was proving to be somewhat more of a challenge though, but you dreamt up an idea to hopefully engage him a little more.

You stopped and turned around to face Din, who was carrying Grogu tightly in his arms so that the little boy’s chin was resting on one of his broad shoulders. Din came to a stop and glanced at you curiously.

“I know I promised I would take you to the chess set and we can still go there, but I was thinking first that we could pass through the wing which houses our Ancient Egypt collection?” you suggested. “I’m a guide for most of the school trips that visit us and it always seems to be the area that the kids most enjoy.”

“Oh. That’s very… kind of you,” Din rasped. “Thank you.”

You nodded and began walking ahead of your guests again, grateful that Din would not see the effect he was having on your ordinarily calm, composed demeanour. Although he appeared to be a man of few words, every time Din did speak, you felt the way your knees weakened. His voice was so low and gravelly, it was deep and rich. With a voice like that, you thought that it was a crime that he did not speak more often. Though you supposed, it was a good thing after all. His voice was so attractive that it was almost distracting.

Eventually, you made it to the Egyptian section of the museum. You really hoped that it would have the intended impact on Grogu, who was still utterly silent in Din’s arms. You knew that kids usually loved this exhibition most of all. There were sarcophaguses and all kinds of intricate patterns that all the school trips who visited the museum made it a priority to see.

As you walked through the room, you gave a brief history of this wing of the museum and drew Din and Grogu’s attention to the most notable exhibit: The Rosetta Stone. Afterwards, you told them to let you know if they needed any help. Then, you kept your distance as you wanted to give Din and Grogu some privacy to explore the collection and hopefully become a bit more accustomed to their surroundings. You sensed that Din was not particularly used to museums and it was perhaps making him a little uneasy to be in one. Which made you all the more curious as to why he had organised a private tour.

You maintained your distance but still stood close enough so that you could help them if they needed it. But as you stood back to observe Din Djarin moving between the cases which housed so many ancient treasures, you were struck by the way he somehow seemed oddly familiar. Just as there had been a small flash of recognition on his face when he first saw you, you felt as though you had seen him somewhere before yourself.

You wondered whether he was actually more famous than he was letting on. After all, he was handsome enough to be an actor or a model. Perhaps you had seen him onscreen somewhere before, even if it was only a minor role. At that moment, Din placed Grogu on the ground and the little boy began to toddle his own path through the exhibits. You observed the way Din followed him around, noticing that there was a certain swagger to the way that he moved and the way his arms swung by his sides that felt familiar. It was his gait, the way he held his arms, something about him gave you the strangest sense of déjà vu.

But try as you might, you just could not put it all together, even though it felt like you were missing something frustratingly obvious. You felt like you were continually chasing something that was just out of reach. Finally, you felt as though you were about to piece everything together and had almost figured out just where you knew him from when Din called your name and waved you closer. It was a stark reminder that you had a job to do, after all. Din was your visitor, your guest… you needed to get a grip on your emotions.

You approached the case Din was standing in front of, he turned to you with his mouth open, he clearly wanted you to ask you about something. You had expected him to question you on the collection of ornately carved, wooden cat mummies that he was currently standing in front of. But surprisingly, despite the treasures that lay just the other side of the glass, Din’s mind was seemingly elsewhere.

“Are you working overtime just for us?” Din said quietly, staring straight ahead at the display while Grogu toddled around at your feet.

You were utterly astounded by his audacity. You knew the rich and famous were out of touch but, holy shit! This guy was on a different level. Of course, you were working overtime! If it wasn’t for him, you would be back at home with nothing but you, Mando and lots of peace and quiet. But no, Din fucking Djarin over here had to get in the way of you and your comfort bounty hunter.

“I am,” you replied curtly.

“I hope you’re well paid for it,” Din offered, sympathetically. You were about to bite back with a sarcastic comment, but his next comment stopped you in your tracks: “This wasn’t my idea, by the way. I’m over here in London for work which means I have to spend a lot of time away from my home. It’s just my son and I,” Din continued and you noticed the way he clenched and unclenched his hands that hung by his sides into fists as he spoke. “So, my bosses like to book little excursions like this every so often to stop us from going crazy out of boredom. I just wanted you to know that. To be honest, this kind of thing sort of embarrasses me. I don’t feel good about all the trouble you’ve clearly had to go to, about you staying late and… stuff.”

“Oh…” you breathed. All the bitterness and simmering hatred that you felt for this man had completely disappeared. He was just a lonely single dad, staying far away from home. You wondered what Din’s story was and how Grogu came to be featured in it. There was blatantly a strong bond between them that went beyond words. Indeed, you had not heard the little boy utter a single word, even after being let loose in the Egyptian exhibition. You also, perhaps more selfishly, wondered whether Grogu’s mother was in the picture and whether he was adopted. But that was incredibly invasive, it was not for you to know such personal details. You were just here to show them around the museum and ensure that they had as enjoyable a time as possible.

“I really am sorry that you had to stay extra late for us. Perhaps I can speak to my bosses and the museum and make sure that all of you, the cleaners, security and the like are fairly compensated.” Din said earnestly as he turned to look at you. His words and face were full of sincerity and you found yourself almost lost in the big brown eyes that had been slowly worming their way into your heart since the first time you had stared into them in the entrance hall.

You were stunned, not only by how physically appealing you found him – if a man could be beautiful, you would deem Din Djarin worthy of such a description – but you were also floored by the beauty of his words. You were stunned by what a humble man he appeared to be, despite the enormous wealth that was seemingly available to him. Surely, if his bosses were so exceedingly rich, then Din himself must be, too? It was hard to believe that because, despite his affluence, Din seemingly still retained his humanity and cared about ordinary people. You were absolutely bowled over by this man. He was nothing like what you had been expecting.

“Thank you for apologising but really, it’s fine. Just one of those things that I have to do. You’re uh, actually the first ever person on one of these visits who has ever acknowledged that. So, thank you, Din. It means a lot,” you smiled at him, feeling your stomach flip at the way he was staring at you. “It’s not like you’ve interrupted much anyway tonight, to be honest. Usually, I just go straight home after work. I’d be lying on the couch in front of the TV by now. But you and Grogu have been a pleasure to show around thus far,” you admitted. You were unsure why you had told Din such a thing, usually feeling embarrassed about your preference for solitude. But there was just something about that man, with his earnest brown eyes, that made you want to tell him everything about yourself.

“I’m glad to hear that. Thank you for being such a great guide,” Din said appreciatively. And you knew he meant it. Din wasn’t speaking with the fake sincerity that so many of the other obnoxious rich clients that you were so accustomed to showing around the museum, either. It was genuine. You could tell that from the look in his eyes and how solemn his voice was that he meant every word.

“You’re welcome. If you’re ready, we can head to the next area that I'm going to show you to. It contains a stunning artefact known as the Sutton Hoo helmet and it’s perhaps the most famous artefact here that was not stolen from another country,” you observed, dryly.

Din raised his eyebrows at your statement and your heart dropped for a second, fearing that you had perhaps pushed things a step too far. After all, you knew nothing about this man’s background. Perhaps he was one of them. Before you could worry for much longer, though, he burst out laughing at your observation. You let out a sigh of relief and found yourself laughing along with him, too. His joy was infectious and the way the wrinkles showed around his eyes as they half-shut in mirth made your heart soar.

“I did notice that when I was reading the descriptions in this section,” Din nodded. “I don’t think Giza is in the UK. But it never says how the artefacts ended up here. They just act as though everything here magically appeared in London one day.”

“Yeah, of course. It was just raining artefacts in the Victorian Era,” you rolled your eyes. “But uhh… can I just ask that if you get asked for any feedback about the tour at all… please, please don’t tell my boss I said that. We’re really not supposed to acknowledge that part of the museum’s history,” you pleaded, despite how much you felt as though you inherently trusted Din.

“Of course I won’t,” Din promised as he shook his head, “I think it’s important to talk about it and it’s a shame if you cannot speak openly.”

“Exactly. I always think how can you not mention it, when it’s staring you right in the face? So I try to slip it in where possible whenever I give tours. I’ve made references to it in front of royalty before now, but they were too dense to notice. Didn’t get taught about what their ancestors did at their posh schools, it seems,” you admitted with a shrug, your blood boiling at the memory of how condescending the minor royals that you had never even heard of had been throughout your tour. “So that’s why I always try to talk about it, especially in future exhibitions I plan to curate. This is probably why none of my proposals have ever been selected, come to think of it. Colonialists don’t like it when you point out how many things you’ve stolen, it transpires.” you said with a wry smile

“No, they don't,” Din said, one corner of his mouth curling into a smirk as he regarded you.

For a few moments, all thoughts of where the tour was headed left your head. You felt immobilised by the way Din was staring at you. Gone was the scowl of earlier, you felt as though he was staring at you as though he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Not in a patronising way that you were well used to, though. He was staring at you in the same way you had witnessed so many visitors stare at the assortment of wonders in the museum: in complete awe.

“Anyway, the helmet is this way.” you said, shaking your head as you stepped out of his gaze and turned to leave the room.

Once again, you walked a few paces ahead of Din and Grogu. You didn’t trust yourself to face him at that moment because of the way that he had just looked at you. It was difficult to remain professional after that. Having someone look at you like that was something you were incredibly unused to. Perhaps you were delusional, but you were certain that Din had just gazed at you as though he was mesmerised by you, taking you in and considering you slowly.

You suddenly felt a bit shaky after it, feeling the unmistakable thundering of your heart in your chest. Din had regarded you as if you were a beautiful artwork of some kind, rather than just the lowly museum worker that you were. It was enthralling to have someone look at you like that. You were not used to it… it had been years since your last proper relationship. But when you thought back to how your ex looked at you, you were certain you had seen that same admiration in Din’s eyes. But surely, that was ridiculous. Din was a few years older than you, possibly even married, given the child he had with him. You were probably just projecting your hopes onto a situation that was not there. It was a little bit desperate.

Mercifully, the helmet was not too far away from where you currently were in the museum and you made it there quickly enough that you did not have to dwell on the way Din looked at you for an uncomfortably long time. All you knew for certain was that the thought of him looking at you like that again was simultaneously the thing you wanted most in the world and a deeply terrifying and mortifying prospect. But there was no time for you to dwell on it or even really talk to him. There was, instead, an old helmet for you to look at and explain the history of to your visitors.

You showed Din to the glass case it was displayed in as your heart rate somewhat returned to its normal rate. Talking about Anglo-Saxon antiques was sure to help you in getting a handle on your emotions. Fortunately, your feelings towards the Sutton Hoo helmet had never lessened, despite any more general disillusionment you felt towards the entire institution. Indeed, it was a photograph of this very helmet which had captured your imagination many years ago and sent you down a path that culminated in you working here at the museum. There was something about it that captured your imagination every time you saw it, no matter how many times you had observed it up close. Just knowing that people many centuries ago had created it and gazed upon it with their own eyes somehow made you feel closer and further away from the past than ever.

The helmet was mainly faded to a brown colour now but despite its age, it was remarkably complete. It had a cap, cheek-pieces, mask and neck-guard. The nose detail and eye holes meant one could visualise where the warrior had once placed his head. The two strips of metal that hung around and down the face piece on either side always reminded you of the tusks of an elephant. The gold strip that went from near the top of the helmet towards the nose was an indication of how ornate the helmet had once been. You, Din and Grogu – who was nestled in his father’s arms – stood there for a few quiet moments, regarding the helmet quietly.

“Incredible craftsmanship. Remarkable too, how it has survived for so long. How old is it?” Din asked.

“We think it was made somewhere between the late sixth and early seventh centuries. So it’s well over one thousand years old, whichever way you look at it,” you explained, delighted that Din wanted you to share your expertise. “It’s a mixture of iron and tinned copper alloy. Some of the patterns have been lost but you can just make out some animals and warrior motifs. The nose and mouth-piece were cast as one and they have a silver inlay with some engraved details. It’s really a fine work and incredible to think about how old it is.”

“Fascinating, thank you,” Din said, before he leaned down and whispered proudly to his son: “See, Grogu, they didn’t make them the same way that we do.”

You thought it was a bizarre comment, but you had no right to press Din for details, given that he had probably not intended for you to hear such a thing. Perhaps Din was involved in manufacturing military equipment, or something. You did not doubt that there was a lot of money in that line of work, enough money that would allow bosses to rent out the British Museum.

Despite your longstanding admiration for the Sutton Hoo helmet, you found that every time you looked at it now, your mind was reminded of another helmet: the one that your favourite character wore. Since first watching the show, you found that every time you were here in the presence of the Anglo-Saxon artefact, you always thought of Mando. You marvelled each time at how people who lived so long ago possessed the technology to create such an intricate piece of art. Although much of the detailing had sadly been lost to time, it was nonetheless an incredible feat. It also made you wonder if, in the Star Wars galaxy, Mandalorian helmets were on display like this in museums just like the one you worked at. Or was the warrior race too secretive? Had anyone ever captured a Mandalorian to examine their craftsmanship?

You were so caught up in that thought, musing over the possibility of there being an equivalent to the Sutton Hoo helmet in the Star Wars universe, that you failed to notice that at some point, while you had been explaining the helmet’s history and quietly admiring it with Din, his son had toddled off. Neither of you noticed that anything was amiss until you heard the unmistakable sound of someone rapping on the glass of one of the displays. You spun around in shock, confused and disorientated, wondering what the noise was; but Din was on it right away.

“Grogu! No!” Din exclaimed as he ran towards his son.

The sound of the metallic ball clutched in Grogu’s chubby little hands went tap tap tap as it collided with the glass case which housed one of the most significant carvings in European history.

You turned around and smiled at the sight – you couldn’t help yourself, despite the fact you probably should have been delivering a stern reprimand – as Din scooped Grogu up and held him to his chest. At some point, while you had been explaining the Sutton Hoo helmet to Din, Grogu had got seemingly bored by your lecture and wandered off to explore something he found far more interesting.

“I’m so sorry,” Din said apologetically as you came to stand next to him.

“Oh, don’t worry. Those cases are designed to protect against chemical warfare, bullets, fires… anything you can think of,” you smiled, looking down at Grogu who seemed blissfully unaware of the panic he had just elicited in the pair of you. “An excitable toddler is no match. It isn’t like the movies, no red lasers are going to shoot out of the ceiling, I assure you.”

However, just as you were explaining you heard the unmistakable sound of hurried footsteps in the corridor outside, which probably belonged to a member of the museum’s security team as they sprinted to check what the commotion was. Grogu had probably unknowingly activated some kind of security system. The mystery security guard shouted your name and you realised it was Mo, who was clearly sizing the situation up and whether he needed to storm in, guns blazing.

“It’s fine, Mo!” You shouted in reply. “Just a little excited kiddo here, absolutely nothing to worry about.”

“Okay! Just checking!” Mo replied as his footsteps stopped. When they resumed, they grew more distant as he disappeared elsewhere in the museum.

“Thank you,” Din said appreciatively. He exhaled and turned to look at you, a mixture of embarrassment and gratitude on his face that you hadn’t made this into a big deal.

“It’s fine,” you shrugged. “You know, we don’t have too much art here in this museum. I’m surprised he was so drawn to this, I wouldn’t expect a child to like it as it's pretty much just a technical drawing and there are no colours. The art we do have is great though, although it’s nothing like the National Gallery, their collection is amazing,” you mused.

“No, but it’s still a beautiful piece. I think he just likes the look of the armour. I really am sorry about all the commotion,” Din reiterated his apology.

“Oh, really, Mr. Djarin. It’s fine,” you said reassuringly, hoping that your choice not to refer to Din by his first name would place some distance between the two of you. “The security guys just get a little jumpy after hours, that’s all.”

“Please, I absolutely insist that you call me Din. Mr. Djarin makes me sound like an old man!” Din joked.

“Okay Din,” you giggled, but were desperate to change the subject. “You know, if Grogu is interested in art, there’s also the National Gallery, another museum here. It gets quite busy at peak times, as all museums do. The crowds particularly gather around Van Gogh’s sunflowers. I mean, I get it. He’s my favourite painter and I love that piece. But there’s so much other art that gets neglected, lonely at its expense. People just walk up to the sunflowers, snap their pictures and leave. The whole thing is very impersonal… they don’t take a second to appreciate the hours that the artist spent agonising over every little detail, you know?”

“It is a shame… that people cannot stop to appreciate beautiful things when they’re standing right in front of them…” Din’s voice had dropped to barely above a whisper as his brown eyes focused on you, smiling at you thoughtfully.

You cleared your throat and looked down, feeling the familiar warmth that came with embarrassment creep up your neck and onto your face. Your cheeks were suddenly burning. The look Din had given you when he said beautiful had made you feel slightly dizzy. You weren’t sure whether he was referring to the art or you. It made you feel slightly lightheaded. You had almost forgotten what it felt like to be spoken to like that, it had been so long since anyone had seen you in that way.

It was somewhat alarming to you, too, how quickly you felt comfortable around Din. Perhaps it was watching his interactions with Grogu but, despite his broad shoulders and muscular frame, there was an undeniable gentleness to him. It had been a long time since you had opened up to anyone as easily as you had to Din. Oh sure, you were only explaining that you sometimes enjoyed looking at art at a certain gallery and that you liked to lounge around in front of the TV. They weren’t your deepest, most intimate secrets or anything. But for someone who took so long to feel comfortable around others, it said something about how at ease you felt with Din that you were able to tell him these little things about yourself so soon after meeting him.

“Yes… it’s a shame,” you eventually agreed. “Anyway, sorry for going on a rant about selfish gallery-goers. Would you like me to tell you more about the artwork?” you asked, remembering what you were being paid for and attempting to steer the conversation back towards something that you were infinitely more comfortable with – historical artefacts.

“That would be great, thank you,” Din nodded as he placed Grogu down.

“The piece that captured Grogu’s imagination, as it transpires, is one of the most important carvings in European history. It’s a woodcut of a rhinoceros created by a German painter called Albrecht Dürer in 1515, who never even saw the beast. He carved it based on a description from an Indian writer,” You explained as you launched into a passionate lecture about the history of Dürer’s rhino, the two pairs of big brown eyes that belonged Din and Grogu watching you intently. “Clearly, the carving is not wholly accurate, as the rhinoceros looks as though it has plates of armour on its body, rather than the skin anyone from modern times knows that rhinos actually possess. But it was the best they could do. I always find it astonishing that people from such a long time ago were able to create such intricate pieces of art,” you marvelled, hoping to fill Din and Grogu with the same sense of wonderment that you felt when you thought about the past.

Sometimes, you felt embarrassed about the extensive knowledge that you possessed, that you could always launch into such detailed lectures at a moment’s notice. There were so many people in your past who had viewed your knowledge as patronising arrogance on your part, distorted by their inadequacies to believe that you were showing off somehow and attempting to make them feel inferior. But you were not, you were just passionate and enthusiastic about the world that surrounded you, particularly the past. You enjoyed sharing that passion and knowledge with other people. It was never born out of a desire to make them feel bad for what they did not know, but to help them to learn something new and perhaps open their minds.

But you felt none of that embarrassment as you concluded your lecture, still being watched intently by Din and Grogu: “As you can imagine, this would influence perceptions of rhinoceros for centuries, even though it was not accurate. Would be pretty cool if rhinos wore armour though, wouldn’t it, Grogu?” You finished, smiling at the little boy who had listened to you so patiently.

“Thank you for that. I’m sure Grogu would agree, he likes…. Uh… armour,” Din said, reaching up to squeeze the back of his neck again, just as he had done shortly after you met in the entrance hall.

You smiled and nodded, appreciating the praise. But Din’s comment about the armour stood out to you, especially when you considered what he had said to Grogu about the Sutton Hoo helmet earlier. You were beginning to feel more certain now that Din probably had something to do with weapons, somehow. Perhaps it was his main line of work, or perhaps he was one of those enthusiasts who reenacted battles in his spare time… now that was a funny image.

But Din continued speaking before you could dwell on the comment any longer: “Grogu really likes animals too. I think he likes them more than the art and history aspect, as interesting as they were,” Din remarked.

“Oh, there’s a zoo here in London, you know? I think it has some rhinos, but if he likes animals perhaps it would be a nice day out for the two of you. I haven’t been for a while, usually, it’s full of tourists, but if I get a day off and it’s not the summer, I do like hanging out there,” you admitted.

“I would love to visit sometime, hopefully, Grogu and I can find the time while we’re over here,” Din said, touching his chin as if he were deep in thought.

“Yes, it’s definitely worth a visit. A lot of people seem surprised that London has such an impressive zoo with animals from all around the world. It often gets overlooked in favour of all the more touristy sights. You know, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace and shopping on Oxford Street. And don’t get me wrong, I do love going to those places from time to time. It never ceases to amaze me that I live in the capital city, you know. But I think there is just as much value to be gained from getting out in nature and exploring the natural beauty our world has to offer,” you said, thoughtfully.

“Me too. A lot of nature can be so… beautiful.” Din breathed, that look was back again as he used that word once more.

You felt that familiar skin-warming sensation creep back up your neck again and gazed down at the floor, moving away from his penetrating gaze as you invited them to follow you to look at some more of the collection. You roamed around the exhibition with the two of them for a little bit longer after you felt that you had spent enough time looking at the carving of the rhinoceros.

Eventually, after quickly looking at some of the art from the Arab world that was in the collection, it was time for you to draw the tour to a close. You ushered Din and Grogu back down the grand stone staircase in the main, airy room that was still lit naturally despite the late hour. It was late June so the sun did not sit till late, though the sunlight that streamed down in the day had begun to dim now.

Din’s brown hair and eyes looked golden in the sunset light, his eyes were glowing almost the colour of honey. He was stunning. You couldn’t believe how much you found yourself enthralled by this man, even though you had just met him. Throughout the tour, you had both connected over history and your shared values. It was nothing too deep though and you were only operating in a professional capacity, but it was pathetic how much you already felt drawn to him. You needed to get over yourself.

Fortunately, you soon would as you were about to say goodbye. You knew in your heart of hearts that, much as you had enjoyed your time spent with him, once you said your goodbyes and he left through the door with Grogu, that would be the very last you would ever see of Din Djarin.

“Thank you for being such an incredible guide,” Din said, reaching out to shake your hand again. “Grogu and I had the best time.”

You could barely choke out a reply. You wondered whether Din had felt the same spark of electricity that you felt when he had taken his hand in yours. His skin was surprisingly smooth and warm; if you weren’t completely deluding yourself, you swore that his hand lingered on yours a beat longer than it had when you had introduced yourself to him. Even though you had both left your hands on each other for a near-uncomfortably long amount of time even then. Din looked directly into your eyes, the brown of his irises was now flecked with golden streaks. You wanted to lose yourself in those eyes. What a shame you had to part.

“It was my pleasure. I hope you learnt something new on the tour, something that you take with you always,” you smiled, still looking into his eyes. “Enjoy the remainder of your time here in the UK.”

Din thanked you one last time and even got Grogu to wave to you. Then he was gone, his footsteps echoing off the marble floors and tall ceilings. You were left there in his wake. This enigmatic man, with kind brown eyes and brown curly hair, had been so kind to you despite all your expectations to the contrary. You knew that you would never cross paths with him again and that thought pained you somewhere deep inside. You felt as though Din had brought something to your life that you had not realised you were missing. What a loss, a loss of a man that you barely even knew.

Still, you consoled yourself with the thought that at least you had your comfy couch and endless episodes of The Mandalorian to go back to. Your favourite show would always be there for you. Mando would never leave you standing there, pining for him. It was ridiculous! You shook your head, trying to pull yourself out of the trance that Din had just left you in. You needed to get home before it was too late.

You grabbed your belongings from the office and finally began to head for home, several hours later than you had been anticipating but still grateful that at least the tour had not been an utter disaster. Perhaps that would have been better, though, you mused. Rather than leaving you with such a twisted, tangled mess of feelings.

To distract yourself from the impossibly noisy drunken teenagers who were heading for a night out – suddenly making you feel ancient – you passed your time on the journey home with your nose buried into your phone, texting Ria about the man you had just given a tour to.

[ilovemando] 20:42 - RIAAAAA i just showed the hottest guy around the museum for a private tour. dreamy brown eyes, deep voice, tall, broad shoulders. he was older though and had a kid but i think he called me beautiful at one point? dgsdhgs maybe i’m delulu but wow he was fucking HOT i am yearning

You stared around the carriage absentmindedly, waiting for Ria to reply as you wished your noise-cancelling headphones could make everyone disappear, especially the drunk dickheads on your train. Fortunately, Ria was chronically online and you didn’t have to wait too long for her to reply.

[thisistheslay] 20:44 - Omg bestie!!! Did anything else happen, do you think you’ll see him again? A private tour though ugh. Eat the rich!!

[ilovemando] 20:47 - nahhh i cant see him again, didnt get his number. would’ve been unprofessional lmao. we just spoke quite a lot, i guess. it felt more relaxed than a lot of the tours i gave recently actually. he was really sweet. works a good job so thats how he got the tour… not rich arsehole vibes at all. fuck im crushing on a man i’ll never see again. pain

[thisistheslay] 20:49 - I mean, better than crushing on someone who doesn’t even exist?

You threw your head back and snorted. That was a low blow, but probably deserved.

[ilovemando] 20:50 - RIA??????? UNCALLED FOR!!

[thisistheslay] 20:51 - Sorry, sorry. I know Mando is real to you.

[ilovemando] 20:51 - ur damn right he is lmao. gonna watch the foundlings when i get back. if no one else got me, i know mando got me… can i get an amen

[thisistheslay] 20:53 - AMEN! The only man who deserves rights.

[ilovemando] 20:54 - so true bestie. anyway gonna put my phone away and stare out of the window for the rest of the journey and listen to the mando soundtrack while imagining we’re flying through space in the razor crest together…. im so mentally stable. ill live text u my mental breakdown when watching the foundlings when i get home :))))

[thisistheslay] 20:56 - Hahah you really are, very healthy behaviour. Please do, I’ll look forward to it, work is dragginggggg

You smiled and put your phone in your pocket, doing exactly as you said. As far above you, the dense city turned into lush suburbia, you were elsewhere. Not even on this earth as you daydreamed about Mando next to you.

You almost missed your stop, such was the vividness of your daydream. You wished you could escape to that fantasy world and stop pining for a man you hardly knew. The time you had spent with Din had been the happiest you had felt since the convention since Ria had left. But it had been fleeting, temporary and now you were heading back to reality which, for you, was lying on your couch on a Friday night, watching your comfort episode of Mando for the billionth time.

You sighed deeply as you lay there, watching the episode. It was unhealthy to compare a fictional character to reality and you knew that. But you just wished that more men could be like Mando. You adored the way he took such good care of the children. He was so empathetic, and protective; so sworn to his duty that he got himself into precarious situations multiple times throughout the episode to protect the foundlings, who were strangers to him. But Mando did it without hesitation, without anger. He was just a good man.

You couldn’t help but be reminded of the interactions you had seen between Din and Grogu. There you were, again! Caught up yearning for a much older man that you were never going to see again. This episode was meant to distract you from him and replace your newfound pining for a real, unattainable man with a familiar yearning for a fictional man who was even more unattainable because he wasn’t real. But instead, everything you saw of Mando was causing you to think of Din. It had not been the evening you had planned.

You had expected to watch more episodes, perhaps having a mini binge. You always intended to stop after one episode, of course. But the reality was quite different. You found yourself unable to stop, no matter how hard you tried as the story always gripped you. You always found Mando’s presence familiar and comforting and you had watched an entire season in one sitting before.

But tonight, you actually did stop after just one episode. You were too distracted to enjoy it properly so when the episode finished, you headed to your room. That night, you fell asleep underneath The Mandalorian poster above your bed, trying to replace thoughts of the brown eyes and brown curls of Din Djarin by thinking about Mando and the way he took care of those children. Trying to replace memories of the tall, broad-shouldered man you had shown around the museum with thoughts of a hulking tin can man with a confident strut who was prepared to give his all to make the galaxy a better place.

Little did you know whichever way you thought about it, you were fantasising about the same man.

Next Chapter

Taglist: @toxic-seduction @survivingandenduring

#my fics #tbobw #din djarin fanfic #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin fanfiction #mando x reader #mando x you #the mandalorian fanfiction #pedro pascal characters

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aylacavebear · 6 months ago

Text

Retribution Chapter 10

Summary: You had DID for most of your life, over forty years, since you were two. It wasn't until after you were forty-three that you were finally able to heal it and become a singular. You're a hunter and have been with Dean for a very long time. Once you become singular, you have to face the horrors that your mental illness subjected on those you cared about, loved. Can you get past seeing yourself as worse than any monster you've ever hunted down?

Pairing is Dean Winchester x Reader/You

Warnings: Talk of DID - Dissociation Identity Disorder (AKA MPD), Mental Health Issues, Angst, Healing (yes, this is a warning).

Please, if you suffer from any mental illness, seek help. There are people out there who can help you get through it, no matter how alone you feel now or how hard it may seem.

A/N: This is going to be very dark, darker than anything I've written thus far. It will include many triggers - abuse both sexual and physical - in memories and what happens to the reader. I'm hoping it will have a happy ending but right now, I am not sure where this will go. This is your main warning before you begin reading. A/N: Dreams and Memories are indented in italics. Thoughts are in italics only.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 10 - On Your Own

You woke early the next morning. The brothers were still sleeping as you made some coffee, got a cup, and began packing your things. They were the things that meant something to you and things you needed. Then, you loaded them up in your purple Mustang, which had been parked in the garage for longer than you could remember. You didn’t want to take your truck this time; you hadn’t planned on hunting.

Quietly, you crept into Dean’s room. Taking a moment to let your eyes adjust, you noticed how he was lying in his bed. He’d drank himself to sleep and had probably fallen asleep less than an hour before you’d woken up.

At least I won’t wake him.

With a heavy heart, you gathered almost all your things out of his room, including the few weapons off his wall and the poster that was hanging. You grabbed half your clothes from his dresser and closet, including the old shirt he said would be important. You grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, wrote him a very short note, and left it on his desk.

I’m sorry, for everything. Y/N

You climbed behind the wheel, trying to keep yourself grounded. Then you sighed and popped the hood, looking for the lowjack you knew was probably there. It took you about ten minutes, but you found it and removed it, then disabled the GPS on your phone before driving away from the bunker.

It was something you hadn’t completely considered, him looking at your healing like all the personalities having died, even if parts of them were living in you now. You’d grieved for their loss, so it made sense that he’d want or need to. You just had hoped too hard that he’d want you around, want to get to know you.

I’m being selfish, only thinking about what I want.

The sun hadn’t even risen yet, so you stuck to the backroads because there would be almost no traffic.

My personalities have been all over. Where would I like to go? Is there a place I want to see? I’m gonna miss them, even if they probably won’t miss me, they’ll miss them.

You had no destination in mind, and your thoughts wandered through your mind. You did decide that you weren’t going to use alcohol to cope with things this time around. This time, you weren’t running; you were giving them both space, space they needed.

Somehow, everything will be okay, even if I never see them again.

Their POV

He woke somewhere around eleven, rubbing his head due to the mild hangover from the alcohol he’d ingested just to get to sleep that night. He’d tried pushing himself to get to know you, but the more you spoke, the more his heart hurt. She was gone, they all were.

Dean pushed his thoughts away and made his way to the kitchen, not even noticing that your door wasn’t closed all the way. Sam was already up and in the library. So, Dean grabbed a cup of coffee and joined his brother at the library table.

“She still sleeping?” Sam asked, glancing over at him

“I don’t know. I didn’t look in her room,” he answered gruffly, still not fully awake.

Sam gave him a confused look, “Her room is empty, and the bed’s made. I figured she slept with you.”

Dean’s head shot up, eyes now wide open, and any grogginess he had was now gone. He left his coffee on the table, went to your room, and pushed the door open. He took in the little details, barely noticing that Sam had followed him. So many of your things were gone. Then, he went into his room, Sam still behind him.

His eyes scanned his room, seeing what was missing before they fell on the desk to something out of place: the note. Dean went over and picked it up, reading the few words you’d left.

I didn’t mean today…

“Dean?” Sam asked, stepping closer to his brother.

“She’s gone, Sam,” he replied quietly, fighting with anger and hurt.

“What do you mean, she’s gone?” Sam asked, more confused than he was before. Dean just handed him the note. “What’d you say to her?” Sam asked after reading it, now looking at his brother.

“I told her I needed to grieve,” Dean answered, not thinking about the entire conversation that had taken place.

Sam rubbed his face with his hand, his mind now working over time. He may have been angry at you, hated what your personalities had done, and even wanted to shoot you at one point or another, but now, he was worried about you, again.

The brothers checked the garage and noticed your truck was still there, but the Mustang was gone. Sam even sighed when he found the lowjack he’d installed in it after he’d found you at the motel, and you’d run again. Then, they returned to the library, and Sam got on his laptop, attempting to track your phone.

“She’s too damn smart,” Sam sighed, leaning back in his chair, “She turned off her GPS.”

They then began texting Charlie, Eileen, and Jodie, asking if any of them had seen you. They hadn’t, but they said if they heard anything, they’d let them know. They texted a few other people, hunters, without any luck. Dean even texted Garth, but he hadn’t heard from you either.

Dean sighed, “Cas, I know you’re listening. Please get your feathered butt down here.”

“What, Dean?” Cas asked, appearing between the two, slightly annoyed, making the brothers jump a bit.

“She’s gone Cas. Can you find her again?” Sam asked, looking up at the angel.

“I know. I’ve already spoken with her and know where she is and where she’s headed,” Cas answered.

“Care to share?” Dean asked, keeping his tone as even as he could.

“Dean, she left to give you the space you needed so you could grieve. You could have given her a different answer when she asked you if it would be easier if she wasn’t here, but you didn’t. I will not be sharing her location with either of you,” Cas answered plainly.

Dean looked down at the table, “I didn’t mean for her to leave right away,” he mumbled.

“Then maybe that’s what you should have said,” Cas said flatly.

Sam was speechless. At least now it made sense as to why you’d left, “Can you at least clue us in on what her plans are? I mean, is she going back to Crowley?”

Cas’s expression showed just how annoyed he was with the two of them. He rolled his eyes, groaning in frustration. “I get that the two of you have your own issues to work through, but don’t project them on her. It’s been almost three months since she integrated, and she’s healed a lot. She has no desire to go down a destructive path. She just wants to be a better person than her past.”

“That’s still fairly vague, Cas,” Dean grumbled, not liking this situation at all.

“Deal with what you need to deal with. Anyone she interacts with won’t give her away either,” Cas told him bluntly.

Dean was pissed, but it was due to far more than having no lead on you. Sam went through the range of emotions as well, but the two stayed silent for a while.

“Did she keep her phone?” Sam finally asked.

Cas had to take a deep breath. He typically didn’t get angry, but right now, he was. It was like neither of them had heard anything you’d said. He was furious because the two were kind toward you when you were holed up in your room, refusing to take care of yourself. He was angry because after you got better, it was like the brothers just wanted to hate you. Cas’s hands clenched into fists for a moment before he released them.

“Figure it out, Sam. She said enough before she left,” Cas snapped and then disappeared.

The brothers were dumbfounded for a moment before Sam spoke as he glanced over at his brother, “I’m gonna guess she kept her phone. That way, she could contact people.”

“This sucks,” Dean mumbled, now wanting something far stronger than coffee.

“Wanna talk about it?” Sam asked but figured his brother would keep quiet. He didn’t share things like what he was going through often.

“I miss her, even some of the others. She may have kept things from them, but…” he trailed off for a moment, keeping his emotions in check. “...She’s not them. She’s different. I don’t know what hurts worse. The fact that they’re gone or the fact that she’s like them.” Dean was quiet as he spoke, keeping most of his emotions from showing, but Sam knew his brother well enough to see it all.

“So, take some time, figure it out. If you need a case for a distraction, I can look for one,” Sam offered. He knew he’d have to deal with his own issues surrounding you.

The thing that was getting to both of them was that so far, when people interacted with you, they saw that you were different, that the DID was gone. All the brothers had ever wanted was for you to be able to heal, to get better. Now that you were, other things were hitting them that they hadn’t considered would.

Your POV

You’d already spoken to Cas and messaged several people when you stopped for gas three hours into your travels. They all understood what was going on and agreed to keep the information from the Winchesters.

It wasn’t that you wanted to keep things from the brothers, you just didn’t want them worrying about you. They needed to focus on their issues and deal with those. Cas showed back up just after noon as you were driving down another backroad.

“Have you decided where you’ll go?” Cas asked, now sitting in your passenger seat.

You didn’t jump this time, “I know of a place my personalities kept a secret from everyone. It was a place they would go when things were too stressful. I’m going to stay there for a little while.”

“Would you prefer I didn’t know where you were going?” Cas asked, looking over at you.

“I don’t mind you knowing. I know you won’t tell anyone, Cas. And, I appreciate that. I already let everyone know that I was going somewhere safe, and I’d message if I really needed something,” you answered, keeping your focus on the road.

“Will you hunt?” he asked you curiously.

“I don’t know yet. I might. I have what I need if I choose to,” you replied, then sighed, “If I need you or if something happens to the boys, please come. That’s really all I ask. You can even let them know that I’m alive and fine.”

“I can respect your wishes. I just wish you didn’t have to go through this alone,” Cas told you.

“It’s okay, Cas. Perhaps I need to be alone. I’ve never been alone my entire life. When I ran for that month really doesn’t count since I wasn’t in a good place—not like I am now. I’ll be okay this time,” you replied softly, giving him a small smile.

Nothing more needed to be said, so Cas disappeared, leaving you alone. You smiled a little as you thought about the cabin you were headed to. You’d kept all the skills you needed to live out there comfortably.

The drive took another five hours before you turned down a dirt road in a forest in Montana. It was already getting cool, now that it was near the end of October and Halloween was approaching. A sense of peace and tranquility washed over you as you made your way down the road, memories playing through your mind of the times your personalities had come here.

This is where I need to be right now.

The cabin was quaint, nestled a mile from the backroad within the forest's trees. You parked near the front, making it easier to unload your car. This would be your home for now, and you were looking forward to it.

You pushed the door open and smiled, as it was just how they’d left it. The place had been well kept, but here, were the little’s more personal items, the toys she had loved. This was more of a haven for your personalities than anything else, where they could be themselves without the meaner ones taking over and causing problems.

It only took an hour for you to get settled in. You put the empty boxes in the spare room that held the winter supplies, like extra blankets, and then started the generator, getting it up and running and checking the supplies you had in the shed.

Looks like I need to make a supply run.

The stash of cash was still in its hidden location in the wall near the bed, and there was plenty to get you through at least six months with ease. You didn’t want to use all of it, so you made plans to get different fake credit cards with names neither of the brothers would even consider you using.

After filling the stack of firewood near the fireplace, you made a supply run, returned to your cabin, and brought it all in. It was dark at this point, so you got a fire going as the chill had begun to set in.

You still hadn’t received a text from either of the brothers, so you turned off your phone and relaxed for what felt like the first time in a while. Being completely alone with your thoughts was odd. It was similar to when you’d been alone at the bunker for those three weeks while the brothers had gone out on that case.

This will be good for me, good for them. And I’m not going to hope for anything from them. I just want them to be happy, to find some sense of peace. Even if that means I never see them again.

You truly felt that way, even if it saddened you simultaneously. You kept reminding yourself that you weren’t them. It was time to start over. You’d picked up the pieces of the life you’d woken up to after integration. Now, it was time to live your life the way that brought you joy, peace, serenity, laughter, and happiness. You knew that somehow it was possible to have that without the man you’d fallen in love with.

Somehow, I’ll find what I need out here. I’ll find myself.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 11 - A Peace You Didn't Know Was Possible

Retribution Master List

Tag List: @jc-winchester @nancymcl @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx

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