#me: i want cloudyuna content !! !!

[braskide]

❝ I want you to stay. ❞

responsibility is a double edge knife. 

being responsible for own’s life is a heavy burden, even so to understand that to survive is all you have left – it only gets worse when the weight is doubled, someone depending on you. yuna knows this well and keeps it hidden into her being, her cheekbones covered by dust and nostalgia of a time where things were kinder, easier. out of all that had happened and was bound to happen, hell breaking loose on earth and the few survivors hating on other surviving souls, she was entrusted with the task of making sure a side of the outskirts were safe as the rest of her association had previously done so in the days prior to this. although days had never been easy on them, they kept on being a lively bunch of individuals that cared for one another – and most importantly, yuna knew she could trust them to watch her back & she would watch theirs. maybe, in other times, other eras, this was an overrated feel. but not now, not here – and she barely even remembers those long-forgotten times where relationships and dynamics were overlooked to be trustworthy on the get go. nowadays something as complicated as trust felt harsh like what gold used to be in glory’s days: precious, worthy thousand lives. it was said, before the apocalypse, before the suns and the moons all came crumbling down with disease, one could count trusted ones on the tips of their fingers – if that is right, yuna believes life has taken away some fingers from her, then; or maybe, life has put her before the exhausting trials of working towards such spoils of war.

cloud had gotten to them with bloody knuckles and with the lowest chance to make it out alive – he did not beg them to take him in, but he fought for his life in more ways than just with his fists or swords. the day they had found him, yuna was not with them – she would meet him later on, when auron explained to her that he could not be trusted, but they were not such beasts to leave him among ruins of forgotten temples just to die, his arm believed to be injured beyond saving. and so yuna helped him when his hands were chained, and then she helped him more when he had shown symptoms of what could be defined trust and did not need his hands tied together anymore, so that he could dine with the rest of them without having bad looks from the other end of the table, which was usually where auron or lulu would sit, oftentimes one next the other, ever so watchful of the new found, especially when this one would approach yuna for words or simply a request.  

to this day, months later, yuna kept asking herself what of cloud has made such headstrong personalities take a second look at him, enough to now consider him part of whatever they all were together. though multiple replies would come to mind, she never dared to ask something so trivial out loud – when life and death are but a simple line, why would someone ever wonder such a thing?

yuna headed out with a simple word sent to the rest, her guns clocked into the straps of her backpack. it wasn’t much of a hard job to patrol the outskirts, and she did so on her own accord although Lulu had often disagreed with her on it, and each time yuna would remind her that this world does not allow her to be a girl & that is exactly why a woman was to come out of it, the one that was standing in front of her now. she set off then, and cloud seemed to be on the same accord, following her steps in silence. it was not much after that yuna would attempt and match his speed by slowing down, and she believed he did the same with a hasty foot. the silence among them did not feel uncomfortable as they helped each other cross things such as broken trailers, jumping over fences, sceneries that did not have an unfamiliar taste to it. it was not required for cloud to tag along for such a bothersome task, but there was no complaint on yuna’s side, and they did not bring it up on the hike to the spot.

the marked place was quiet and much to no one’s surprise, the trap for the unsent all still intact. this of all the places seemed to be yuna’s favourite – the small misplaced bed was still covered by blankets she had previously carried to here, worn out clothes laid out on them and old dusty lights hanging from the ceiling to make out what seemed to be the frame of a small sanctuary from the world. The dark seemed to cover the small windows from behind the ripped curtains, and against no one’s complaint they unpacked for the night. few words had been shared between the two in the hours spent together alone & all seemed to be impersonal and used out of necessity. the path from yuna to cloud and back seemed to be rocky – not much because of their will, but the world’s cold did not allow them to open the doors to the much-needed tenderness and yearning. yuna’s came out in many occasions, though they seemed to be hidden under a layer of warpaint – she would often check on the arm scars of him, the ones that seemed to heal despite anyone’s better judgement – and she went at it again now, as Cloud rested with an arched back sitting on the bed. yuna kneeled to his front, her hands working towards his side and he just seemingly phased by looking down to her as she had often found him do before. her fingers cautiously unwrap his muscle, old bloody bandages covering old wounds, and when she would tap what would have been his fatal scar, his eyes kept lingering on her, or so she had felt his stare above her head. she had often wondered why was it that whenever her eyes would snap up to meet his, he would casually look away, suddenly enraptured by another issue or nothing at all. perhaps it was never her place to wonder so, but one just could not help – and thus she had stopped looking up so suddenly, silently enjoying the weight of it, even now.

this time, it felt different. By now her knees would have gotten up from the ground, done with his patch – if not for words hitting her like a bullseye. disarmed, if not only physically – the soul needs to be covered at all times, don’t you know? Who would have guessed that such silences and stolen looks would lead to this – whatever this is, in such a plagued world. her eyes lifted with the following silence and as expected, his eyes did not quiver. yuna has seen that look before, although not aimed at her directly – this time, it sent shivers down her spine. It felt like a soft ocean ( were cloud’s eyes ever so blue? ever so enchanting to lose oneself in them? ) to drown in if surrender was ever an option. there is nowhere to go – but it feels hopeless, it feels useless; the world feels so. and cold. and lonely – and perhaps cloud must have felt so, too. perhaps this was all but a trickery magic, like holding onto each other to draw warmth back and forth. her hand slid from his arm, cold fingertips laying into his hands, curling around his palm, their hands joined in an unlikely solution, new. ❝ i’ll stay tonight, ❞ yuna says, but it does not feel like the end of it. it never feels like the end – and the complications come after. she is sure to have taken the wrong route of these words – but perhaps the easiest. but maybe, just maybe, she can have this one night of uncertainty. cloud feels like it’s on the other side of her now, an arrow across the heart.

even now, cloud is making her look at him twice – her trust in their joined hands in this rotten world.