#BUT EYAH U KNOW WHAT I MEAN !!!

[braskide]

❝ I want you to stay. ❞

responsibility is a double edge knife. 

being responsible for own’s life is a heavy burden, even so to understand that to survive is all you have left – it only gets worse when the weight is doubled, someone depending on you. yuna knows this well and keeps it hidden into her being, her cheekbones covered by dust and nostalgia of a time where things were kinder, easier. out of all that had happened and was bound to happen, hell breaking loose on earth and the few survivors hating on other surviving souls, she was entrusted with the task of making sure a side of the outskirts were safe as the rest of her association had previously done so in the days prior to this. although days had never been easy on them, they kept on being a lively bunch of individuals that cared for one another – and most importantly, yuna knew she could trust them to watch her back & she would watch theirs. maybe, in other times, other eras, this was an overrated feel. but not now, not here – and she barely even remembers those long-forgotten times where relationships and dynamics were overlooked to be trustworthy on the get go. nowadays something as complicated as trust felt harsh like what gold used to be in glory’s days: precious, worthy thousand lives. it was said, before the apocalypse, before the suns and the moons all came crumbling down with disease, one could count trusted ones on the tips of their fingers – if that is right, yuna believes life has taken away some fingers from her, then; or maybe, life has put her before the exhausting trials of working towards such spoils of war.

cloud had gotten to them with bloody knuckles and with the lowest chance to make it out alive – he did not beg them to take him in, but he fought for his life in more ways than just with his fists or swords. the day they had found him, yuna was not with them – she would meet him later on, when auron explained to her that he could not be trusted, but they were not such beasts to leave him among ruins of forgotten temples just to die, his arm believed to be injured beyond saving. and so yuna helped him when his hands were chained, and then she helped him more when he had shown symptoms of what could be defined trust and did not need his hands tied together anymore, so that he could dine with the rest of them without having bad looks from the other end of the table, which was usually where auron or lulu would sit, oftentimes one next the other, ever so watchful of the new found, especially when this one would approach yuna for words or simply a request.  

to this day, months later, yuna kept asking herself what of cloud has made such headstrong personalities take a second look at him, enough to now consider him part of whatever they all were together. though multiple replies would come to mind, she never dared to ask something so trivial out loud – when life and death are but a simple line, why would someone ever wonder such a thing?

yuna headed out with a simple word sent to the rest, her guns clocked into the straps of her backpack. it wasn’t much of a hard job to patrol the outskirts, and she did so on her own accord although Lulu had often disagreed with her on it, and each time yuna would remind her that this world does not allow her to be a girl & that is exactly why a woman was to come out of it, the one that was standing in front of her now. she set off then, and cloud seemed to be on the same accord, following her steps in silence. it was not much after that yuna would attempt and match his speed by slowing down, and she believed he did the same with a hasty foot. the silence among them did not feel uncomfortable as they helped each other cross things such as broken trailers, jumping over fences, sceneries that did not have an unfamiliar taste to it. it was not required for cloud to tag along for such a bothersome task, but there was no complaint on yuna’s side, and they did not bring it up on the hike to the spot.

the marked place was quiet and much to no one’s surprise, the trap for the unsent all still intact. this of all the places seemed to be yuna’s favourite – the small misplaced bed was still covered by blankets she had previously carried to here, worn out clothes laid out on them and old dusty lights hanging from the ceiling to make out what seemed to be the frame of a small sanctuary from the world. The dark seemed to cover the small windows from behind the ripped curtains, and against no one’s complaint they unpacked for the night. few words had been shared between the two in the hours spent together alone & all seemed to be impersonal and used out of necessity. the path from yuna to cloud and back seemed to be rocky – not much because of their will, but the world’s cold did not allow them to open the doors to the much-needed tenderness and yearning. yuna’s came out in many occasions, though they seemed to be hidden under a layer of warpaint – she would often check on the arm scars of him, the ones that seemed to heal despite anyone’s better judgement – and she went at it again now, as Cloud rested with an arched back sitting on the bed. yuna kneeled to his front, her hands working towards his side and he just seemingly phased by looking down to her as she had often found him do before. her fingers cautiously unwrap his muscle, old bloody bandages covering old wounds, and when she would tap what would have been his fatal scar, his eyes kept lingering on her, or so she had felt his stare above her head. she had often wondered why was it that whenever her eyes would snap up to meet his, he would casually look away, suddenly enraptured by another issue or nothing at all. perhaps it was never her place to wonder so, but one just could not help – and thus she had stopped looking up so suddenly, silently enjoying the weight of it, even now.

this time, it felt different. By now her knees would have gotten up from the ground, done with his patch – if not for words hitting her like a bullseye. disarmed, if not only physically – the soul needs to be covered at all times, don’t you know? Who would have guessed that such silences and stolen looks would lead to this – whatever this is, in such a plagued world. her eyes lifted with the following silence and as expected, his eyes did not quiver. yuna has seen that look before, although not aimed at her directly – this time, it sent shivers down her spine. It felt like a soft ocean ( were cloud’s eyes ever so blue? ever so enchanting to lose oneself in them? ) to drown in if surrender was ever an option. there is nowhere to go – but it feels hopeless, it feels useless; the world feels so. and cold. and lonely – and perhaps cloud must have felt so, too. perhaps this was all but a trickery magic, like holding onto each other to draw warmth back and forth. her hand slid from his arm, cold fingertips laying into his hands, curling around his palm, their hands joined in an unlikely solution, new. ❝ i’ll stay tonight, ❞ yuna says, but it does not feel like the end of it. it never feels like the end – and the complications come after. she is sure to have taken the wrong route of these words – but perhaps the easiest. but maybe, just maybe, she can have this one night of uncertainty. cloud feels like it’s on the other side of her now, an arrow across the heart.

even now, cloud is making her look at him twice – her trust in their joined hands in this rotten world.

[straykats]

this or that:

cats or dogs?

winter or summer?

school or work?

pen or pencil?

dirt or sand?

movies or tv shows?

ice cream or froyo?

would you rather:

be blind or deaf?

have no legs or no arms?

live your current age forever or live a different age forever?

talk to your past self about something or see what someone elses point of view was on something in the past?

only know one language fluently or know 50+ languages but only at a beginners level?

+ random questions

what apocalypse/zombie apocalypse based movie/tv show do you think you could survive in? (examples: the maze runner, walking dead, black summer, z nation, the 100, attack on titan, etc.)

if you could make one fictional character someone real in your life who would you choose? (could be from a cartoon, tv show, movie, book, etc and if their being portrayed by a real person this is with the assumption that theyll both exist but be two completely different people who very strangely look EXACTLY alike lol)

once again, under the cut for length!! gonna ramble a bit too for each i am so sorry but tyvm

cats > dogs!!!!!!! i do love both but aHHHHHH ive accepted that i am a cat person. its weird but i used to feel pressured into saying im a dog person bc everyone i knew had a dog? and i never really had any contact w cats either so that explains a lil bit but !! KJADVKJDNVJKDNVKJ i want a cat so bad and theres a cat cafe in my city but its a bit car for me rip but im really eager to go at least once!! but cats are scary when u hold them bc they're so.. small.. inside.. like.. their skeleton.. so small... im so scared like they feel so fragile and i know they're capable but still

winter > summer !! i love the rain and i dont love the cold but i hate the heat (esp australian summers) so !!!! like eyah winter sucks when you bave plans but as someone who rarely has plans i am Okay With That. summer is wHACK because you can be in short sleeves and you'll still be so uncomfy like tmi maybe but yknow when u're in shorts or smth and u sit on a chair for too long and u stand up and its like peeling a sticker off tupperwear without the ripping bit??? yeah bruh summer aint it for me

school > work...? maybe? i'm unemployed (im looking but most places are like !!! experience needed !!!! babes im asking u for experience) so idk but i do enjoy learning (without the assessments etc) so??? but work doesnt seem too bad... if you're allowing a "neither" answer, i shall choose that.

pen < pencil. i think. pencils flow smoother? i use pen more because its clearer/easier to see and bc habit and also people dont accept pencil for documents and assignments so yknow. but writing with pencil is more satisfying for me.

dirt or sand? babes (wait i've called u babes a few times im sorry if youre uncomfy w that! if u want, lmk and i'll change it) what is this question i have never ever EVER encountered this question before. but.. i think... sand... i'm thinking of dirt as soil and sand combined so.. just sand..

movies or tv shows? OH MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN uh. depends? somethings are better as a movie and some are tv shows. i think i have more comfort/favourite tv shows as movies so maybe tv shows.. although i /am/ categorising anime and kdramas into tv shows.

ice cream > froyo. i havent had much froyo tbh but from the few times i have, i think i pref. ice cream..

would you rather:

be blind or deaf? blind. i enjoy listening to and find comfort in music way too much. I can also play instruments by ear and learn to adapt to not having sight so! i've grown up surrounded by music too much for me to not be able to have it in my life.

have no legs or no arms? no legs, i think.

live your current age forever or live a different age forever? different age lmaoooo but also i', saying this assuming that living my age forever or living a different age forever comes with the struggles of that age? i'm 19 rn and unemployed and have a few personal things going on and the expectations that are on me are a bit uhhh bc i can't exactly meet all of them so if i had to stay this age with my current experiences, i would rather a different age, one where everything is a bit more organised? but if i can stay 19 forever but still change my circumstances as time progresses then idm that.. so depends on what being a certain age forever means, if that makes sense.

talk to your past self about something or see what someone elses point of view was on something in the past?

only know one language fluently or know 50+ languages but only at a beginners level?

aw man im bilingual and i consider myself pretty fluent in both my languages (eng and viet), but viet im more fluent speaking than reading/writing? if i only knew english fluently (thus not being fluent in viet) i would be really disconnected because speaking viet is such a big part of who i am and my everyday life so its ahhhh... but 50 languages on a basic level...? how basic are we talking..? like conversational basic or like only knowing a few phrases? hm.

+ random questions

what apocalypse/zombie apocalypse based movie/tv show do you think you could survive in? (examples: the maze runner, walking dead, black summer, z nation, the 100, attack on titan, etc.) //// the maze runner maybe but only if we're including the first book/movie and i dont need to go into the maze LMAOOOO i aint got that ya protagonist energy in me. attack on titan... i'm not up to date so i've no idea whats going on in the recent season, but i don't think i could do that. the knowledge of titans on the other side of the wall would make me go bonkers HHAAHA. uhhh i can't think of any other apocalypse mvies/shows etc off the top of my head that i've watched/read so between tmr and aot, i would choose tmr, because at least then i wouldn't be aware of the outside world and i would believe being inside is all i have yknow? like even in aot if i believed that, the titans are too scary. im not saying those spider things in tmr arent scary but idk i'd jsut rather that AHAHA

if you could make one fictional character someone real in your life who would you choose? (could be from a cartoon, tv show, movie, book, etc and if their being portrayed by a real person this is with the assumption that theyll both exist but be two completely different people who very strangely look EXACTLY alike lol) // omg no stop i've like. this question always stresses me out wdym just one i have too many comfort characters ahfbhdbavkdhva BUT alec lightwood! ... as he is portrayed in the book, but with the appearance of matthew daddario. i just.. yeah. alec :(

ty for sending in these questions!!! i enjoyed going through them very much!!

[fingerstoe]

pls write short descriptions of your favourite mutuals/friends and then tag them (but not next to their descriptions) and try to make them guess which one is theirs!

i wanted to answer this in the morning but i was thinking baout it for so long it made me late to class n i had to take a lyft n look like a fool 😔😔

1. one of the nicest n sweetest ppl ive ever met !!!!!! u hav such a big heart n u are so full of love it makes me want to be a sweeter n softer person LMAO 🤧🤧 NOT MANY PPL MAKE ME WANT TO LIKE DONATE TO MY LOCAL BLOOD DRIVE…BUT U MAKE ME FEEL LIEK I SHOULD BE DOING MORE FOR THIS WORLD… i feel bad bc im so slow at replyign but kno i appreciate all of ur messages n i literally live THRU UR LIFE . mine is so dry n boring but i look forward to listening bout ur life truly !!!! thank u for putting up w me ilove u:((

2. thank u THANK U thank u thank U for messaging me LMAO is it weird to say i knew we weoudl be friends from day one n now i write u full length feature novels w an attached prequel n sequel…..yeah….u are so easy to talk to i think i told u tht before but ur a rlly genuine person !! i feel ilke u always mean so well n everything comes from such a good place.. even when u have the audacity to doubt urself…FALSE ! I FEEL LIKE UR SOOO WISE !! i rlly admire so much about u so yeah u have the most beautiufl personality of anyone i know case closed i love you

3. even tho u think love is dead in a ditch I LOVE YOU ****us needs someone like u in his life truly..ur funny…not as funny as ****us but close.. thank u for hating n shitting all over like one of the ONLY TIMES ive ever made a text post…n u just…basically called me a garbage human being but yeah im a sicko n love tht about u:’))) ur also rlly talented at mkaing stuff n i enjoy being ur biggest fan so thank u…

4. my day one !!!!!! when everyoen else tht i was weird LMAO U DIDNT so thanks for validating me way back when n after ht we basically got married the end !!!!!!! another prson tht i love being ur biggest fan but ur also my fan n like .u know me . too well at this point if u can tell the way tht i talk when im not even speaking…eyah..u…wow..LMAO i lvoe love loev love lveov leo YOU ALWAYS n im so thankful ur in my life u angel u always brighten up my day !!

5. also one of the first ppl to think i was not weird n talk to me n idk if u kno how much tht meant to me but u always sent me the NCIEST messages n made me smile when i wasnt having the best day or osmething so it rlly meant THE WORLD n im never gnna forget that !!!!!!!! so thank u sosos much for being u i appreciate it more than u know…i see like ALL of ur posts n i wnt to send u all of my love all the time know that i support u everyday n tht im here for u whenever!!! and that i love you !!!! 

6. u wont even see this bc ur on a hiatus lmao but for when u return !!! thanks for being ur WIERD ASS SELF excpet for that one time u tagged me in osmething that was actually really sweet n i almost teared up :// so :// it is what it is idk why u even started talking to me bc the one time before tht u did message me n i was ike not helpful n i thought u hated me after that SO … to my surprise….u actually adore me 😝😝 but i love u just as much n i want u to come back soon !!! sending all my love !!!!

@4lovs @haechnn @jaehyun-a @skeletonsungjin @mvpgyu @nst127

[moss-sauce]

been tagged by @drdone to do these 92 thingos

LAST:

1. Drink: coca cola

2. Phone call: i had to call my mom because i was Lost in a hobby lobby

3. Text message: text to srah that’s just “rats...we’re the rats...rats...” to bother her

4. Song you listen to: one of the grineer soundtracks looped while i was trying to do chemistry

5. Time you cried: mmlmao last tuesday in the fuckign middle of lab

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: no, i guess almost? but then i put my foot down kind of and said nah

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i only kiss my dog on her head and i never regret it

8. Been cheated on: my cat is fake as hell!! like to snuggle until she had a prime chance to bite your arm and then leave

9. Lost someone special: i mean yeah

10. Been depressed: ?? i don’t know? like i’ll have little funks but they’re nowhere near how bad they were

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: im a babby that hasn’t gotten drunk so no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. blue

13. orange

14. seafoam green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: EYAH

16. Fallen out of love: don’t think so?

17. Laughed until you cried: a few days ago i was talking with srah and drew a very very poorly created baby and was in a pizza place when i sent it so i had to be quiet but i knew she would get mad at it so i was havin a good chuckle

18. Found out someone was talking about you: as in badly? i have no idea but i’m sure it’s happened

20. Found out who your friends are: yaes

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: n o

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like a lot of them. maybe only like....a dozen are from online

23. Do you have any pets: we really gonna go there again

24. Do you want to change your name:sometimes i think about it. like “max” is a cool name to me

25. What did you do for your last birthday: i don’t think i did anything because i didn’t feel good

26. What time do you wake up: it depends.. days i have class usually like 8:30 to 8:45 but if i don’t there’s no rhyme or reason so it’s a wild card

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: tryin to stay warm and playin warframe

28. Name something you can’t wait for: i don’t know, gettin a horse?? there’s semi drag races next may so i guess im lookin forward to that a bit too

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: like 10 minutes ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my house i don’t really care about where it is but the size....bad

31. What are you listening to right now: diesel bros is on tv and i got some cr1tikal videos playing

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: YES last semester my microbiology teacher was named tom

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my brother

34. Most visited website: tungle, the website for my chemistry book, and moodle

35. Mole/s: i have no idea where it’s not a freckle and its considered a mole

36. Mark/s:i got hella freckles and a noticeable scar on my middle finger where i stuck it in a pencil sharpener when i was a kid plus there’s scars all over my arms/knees for various reasons

37. Childhood dream: i went from wanting to be a vet, to being an astronomer, to being a field medic [?], back to being a vet. if we’re talking not careers then it’s still getting a horse

38. Hair color: brown

39. Long or short hair: long and the only thing i’ve EVER done with it is slapping it in a ponytail but i think about how free i would be if i just cut it short

40. Do you have a crush on someone: nah

41. What do you like about yourself: uhhhhhh i notice that i’m patient with stuff

42. Piercings: none

43. Blood type: i’ve no idea dude but i want to know

44. Nicknames: hannah banana/montana, hanners, truck fucker

45. Relationship status: sangle

46. Zodiac: taurus

47. Pronouns: she and her n all that

48. Favorite TV Show: WANDER OVER YONDER i found out all of the first season is onDemand and bout cried

50. Right or left hand: right

51. Surgery: i got my wisdom teeth taken out and it was the most surreal week i lived through

52. Hair dyed in different color:not at all really

53. Sport: is truck/tractor pulling a sport 

55. Vacation: i don’t really know?? i never really thought of places i’d vacay at

56. Pair of trainers: i don’t know what this means so uhh

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: im waiting for some pizza rolls to finish

58. Drinking: coke

59. I’m about to: eat pizza rolls

62. Want: i can’t articulate these things,, i guess want to have at least better finances so our fam would be all okay

63. Get married: idc

64. Career: pathologist!! i guess i’m technically halfway [?] through my program

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs bc they are good

66. Lips or eyes: would prefer if they had both

67. Shorter or taller: taller because i doubt there’s anyone that wouldn’t make me look like an actual baby

68. Older or younger: older?? around the same age i guess

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms for giving STRONG hugs and carrying MANY dogs

71. Sensitive or loud: depends on context? like everyday then really sort of sensitive but it’s not bad. if i’m expecting it to be like....continually loud then i’m fine with it too

72. Hook up or relationship: whatever has more hangouts with our dogs

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: ohh hesitant very much so. im a wuss

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor:  no

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i remember losing my purple glasses when i was like 7

77. Turned someone down: ? i guess i don’t know

78. Sex on the first date: no and that is a dealbreaker

79. Broken someone’s heart: not purposefully??

80. Had your heart broken: as in like sad then yes

81. Been arrested: no but i’ve been in a cop car more than once

82. Cried when someone died: i get upset when i see bad accidents on the road so yeah big time

83. Fallen for a friend: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: uh

85. Miracles: eyeah

86. Love at first sight: not really??

87. Santa Claus: i know he’s out there.

88. Kiss on the first date: nah

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: @equusoils that binch

91. Eye color: like blue grey

92. Favorite movie: THE IRON GIANT i would watch it every hour for the rest of my life its so good and i love it

tagging uhhh @zangapf @big-stupid-jellyfish @shrubbot @darvobek @biamblonyx and im like half coherent rn so i probably forgot someone but if u wanna do it say i tagged u