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autumn0689 · 1 year ago

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An analysis of Alice, Rose, and Scratch’s relationship with Alan as it relates to obsession. Well, my interpretation of their relationships with him.

I love how in the game, there are characters, well three in total, who have an obsession (well, not in Alice’s case but I’ll get to that) with Alan Wake (the man himself) and how interesting those dynamics are in relation to how Alan views the person.

With Alice, it’s not an obsession but she does do everything she can to help her husband, even willing to throw herself back into the Dark Place to help him and is helping him every step of the way. Alice has always wanted to help Alan, which is what led her to bringing him to Bright Falls to get help, and I can imagine that Alice is happy to finally be able to help Alan, even if it’s from a distance.

With Alan, he cares so much for Alice. He cares to the point of doing anything to ensure her safety, even if it ends up being detrimental to himself, such as sacrificing himself so that Alice could emerge out of the lake, and Alan is constantly worry about Alice, with his goal often being about how to help her, to save her even. Alan’s view of Alice is almost like he doesn’t believe she can handle herself, which is the exact opposite, and when Alan falls for Alice’s rise in believing that she is dead, he gets furious, then guilt ridden when he learns that it was him haunting her, causing him to almost have a disregard to himself, thinking of saving everyone and even ending the story with him dead, taking Scratch with him and Alice refusing to let that happen as she helps him ascend by leading him to where he needs to be, slowly inching him towards ascension as Alan probably has something he hasn’t felt in a while, hope. Hope of escaping and to be with Alice (and I do hope they will be together in the end and the story not end in tragedy)

Alan’s relationship with Alice is one on how romantic relationships are, on how it’s about love but also about conflict in the relationship. Alan’s refusal to get any sort of help and to sulk when he was experiencing Writers Block began to strain his and Alice’s relationship and how as much as Alice tried to help, Alan had to be willing to put in the work. It’s about how mutual their relationship should be, instead of Alice constantly worrying about him as Alan, quite frankly, treated her and others around him like shit. It’s about how strong their love is, with Alan being shocked how Alice was still with him, even after everything he did, and their relationship isn’t abusive, it is heavily flawed, just like all types of relationships are. Their relationship to each other is about care and so, so much love for one another, and how that even if relationships grow sour, there is always a chance to change it and to possibly have their relationships become stronger because of it, and that through all their hardships and being separated for so long, their love for each other remains just as strong as it did thirteen years ago.

It’s not exactly obsession, but I feel like Alice’s relationship with Alan is important to keep in mind as I continue to discuss about other two people who have more intense feelings for the writer, but in more unhealthy ways.

With Rose, almost everything she does revolves around Alan. She worships him, wants to be his muse, wants to be with him, and writes fanfic about him (which is not a bad thing but I love that she writes fanfic, you go girl) and she basically has a shrine of him, but is able to show self restraint when she meets up with Alan, which surprises me, because she was very professional when she met with Alan, but with Saga she was basically gushing about him, being happy to help him in whatever ways she can, doing anything to help him, and I mean anything.

Alan’s relationship with Rose is one akin to a parasocial relationship. Rose is head over heels for Alan, calling herself his ‘muse all along’ and writing fanfic and drawing sketches about him while Alan remembers her ‘as Rose from the Diner’. Since Alan said that he wasn’t leaving Rose any messages, it was most likely Scratch, and it shows how easily Rose is to be manipulated by others if they just use that ‘Alan needs her’ (Saga even said the phrase that Rose had been waiting for and got excited even though Saga didn’t believe that she was a character in his story) and, believe me I understand liking an famous people or obsessing over a fictional character, but Rose took it to the next level, having her whole life dedicated to helping Alan and, being stated to ‘read The Sudden Stop before she goes to bed’, and while it’s okay to like authors or fictional characters and actors, it’s not when it becomes to unhealthy standards, like how Rose started to basically dedicate her life to him and never outgrowing that obsession for him.

Rose’s obsession with Alan was used by her to Scratch’s advantage, using her obsession of Alan to his own gain, and with Rose’s parallel to Cynthia Weaver, who was obsessed with Zane and how that ruined her life and led to her demise, it is very possible that Rose’s obsession with Alan may lead to her demise. (I love Rose and while it’s fine to like Alan’s work, considering her parallel to Cynthia, I hope that her obsession with Alan doesn’t consume her to the point that she doesn’t have a life outside of a singular goal to help her crush, just like Cynthia, and I hope that Scratch leaves my girl alone!)

Now speaking of Scratch, let’s get to him.

Scratch is OBSESSED with Alan. Scratch is basically after Alan in Alan’s section of the game. Scratch is way different than his American Nightmare self, being more reclusive in his appearances rather than his more boisterous self in American Nightmare (and also that he was drenched in blood a majority of the time) He then hitches a ride in Alan’s body, laying dormant until Saga got the Clicker, then he comes out and WANTS the Clicker, so much that he even takes over Saga’s Mind Palace before Saga regained control. Then Scratch takes over Casey, takes the Clicker, and turns Bright Falls into a never ending DEERFEST in which they talk only about one thing: Alan. It’s all about Alan, about his book, Return, and how is a fantastic writer.

Now we get to the chase scene in the Wellness Center. Scratch says many stuff that alludes to his obsession of Alan (and himself by extension) saying lines such as ‘welcome be back home’ and ‘everything revolves around us’ and ‘you are home’ a bunch of other lines. It’s such specific dialogue that Scratch says, mostly referring to him and Alan as one, especially since he had disdain for Alan in American Nightmare, often remarking that he is better than Alan and doesn’t even want to be put in the same league as him. Now, we have to remember that Scratch is now an aspect of Alan in AW2, so Scratch’s obsession over him could be the fact that they are both linked together, with Scratch being Alan’s dark self manifested.

Now, Alan’s relationship with Scratch is purely antagonistic. Alan holds immense disdain for Scratch, to the point of writing a note that Scratch is bad. Since Scratch wrote Return and Alan modified it, Alan has even more disdain for Scratch, and then he learned that, apparently, Scratch was haunting Alice, which resulted in her ‘death’, and then Alan went and shot who he thought was Scratch, only to learn that it was him, that he was the one haunting Alice.

Alan then, as a result of Saga being thrown into the Dark Place and Alice’s ‘death’ and Casey being taken over, blames himself for everything that happened, and while he still has animosity for Scratch, he acknowledges that he also had a role in what happened and that he had to fix it, with him writing him dying, taking Scratch with him, beckoning him home, most likely a symbolism of Alan accepting his dark sides, as Saga shoots him with the Bullet of Light, resulted in him dying, then coming back as he utters “It’s not a Loop, it’s a Spiral.”, leaving Scratch’s fate ambiguous.

Scratch and Alan’s relationship is one of repression, of trying not ignore your worst qualities, and instead of trying to resolve them, you ignore them as you let them fester, and since Alan is in the Dark Place, a place that can alter reality, Alan’s dark self was manifested as Scratch, at first a murderous, suave being who had no regards for anything and dislikes Alan, to an animalistic egotistical being that wants to take over Alan’s body (and if you want you can also interpret Scratch wanting to be Alan so that he can take his place, just like how Mr Scratch in AWAN wanted, but instead of being separate he wants to be the only one, which may be why he wants to be in Alan’s body, since technically Alan would be out of the picture) in which Mr Scratch represented people’s interpretation of Alan while Scratch represents Alan’s repressed emotions.

I wonder how Scratch will be in NG+ or in a hypothetical Alan Wake 3 if NG+ doesn’t wrap up the ending. I wonder if he will even play a part since Alan technically took him ‘back home’ or if Scratch is still out there. Since this is a spiral, is Scratch still inside Alan? I guess we will have to wait and see until NG+

Can’t wait to see what else is in store for this amazing game and, if NG+ really does change a lot, how these relationships change (or not change) in NG+ (and to see more of Alice)

To anyone who has read all of this (my ramblings) uh… thanks. Feel free to correct me if I got anything incorrect and wow this was a longer post than expected.

#alan wake #alan wake 2 #alan wake 2 spoilers #mr scratch #rose marigold #alice wake #I love these characters #tw long post #I guess??

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cosmiclion · 2 years ago

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If you thought I couldn't outdo myself more with the fluff for this AU then you haven't seen my true power yet 😈

I don't know if I got OCiel's bangs right but, realistically speaking, human hair never stays in the same place, that's how physics works so whatever lmao.

Anyway, trying to write a Black Butler AU with some fluff where Sebastian and Ciel have a parent-child like relationship WHILE keeping them in-character (Sebas more than Ciel tbh) and still basing it on canon material but making changes and making said changes make sense requires a bit of work ngl.

I mean, I know it's just a project I'm doing for fun and technically there's nothing stopping me from going nuts and making them completely OOC and disregarding canon at all, but I feel then it'd become a separate story with new, original characters who simply happen to be inspired by Kuro (which is also okay, and who knows, maybe in the future I'll repurpose the whole thing to create my own Kuro-inspired original story, even if I don't think I'll ever fully lose interest in Kuro, this cursed series has me in a chokehold lmao). Full ramble under the cut.

Sebastian is the hardest one to write, though I think I'm finally more or less figuring it out. I didn’t want to write him as suddenly learning to love the way humans do thanks to the power of cute children or something, as it just didn't feel natural (or I couldn't personally make it feel natural, I know other people have managed to write that concept very well). What I have so far is that when he does act nurturing he’s simply imitating the behavior of human parents he has observed, but he doesn’t love the kid the same way humans do because he literally doesn’t have that ability. BUT that doesn’t mean he feels nothing at all and that it doesn’t mean anything to Ciel, after all this weird creature is the one who saved his life and raised him with care and patience. The closest comparison I can think of is the relationship between people and “unusual” pets like reptiles, amphibians, insects, etc. We know they can’t love us the way other people (or even other mammals) would but that doesn’t make our bond any less significant! Some bits of canon material also come in handy here, for example I based the fact that familiar Sebas finds Ciel adorable as a kitten on the canon fact that he likes squishing his cheeks because they remind him of a cat's paws 😂 Just know he's an awkward demon who doesn't know how to human but is doing his best 🥺

I think in Ciel’s case I have more freedom since he is, after all, human, and a human’s personality is strongly shaped by their environment and life experiences. Like, what exactly counts as making a character OOC? Sure, I can agree that in a fanwork set in the exact same universe with the exact same events as in canon there’s some things a character would never say or do, but I think AUs were created as a way to explore what-if scenarios. What if this character had been raised by different people? What if they had grown up in a different place? What if this or that event hadn’t happened or had gone differently? Tbh I think it’s just fun to explore endless possibilities, it’s maybe a form of character analysis in some way. And if we think about it, canonverse Ciel was originally sweet, shy and affectionate, and if he’s the complete opposite now it’s only because he went through an utterly horrific and traumatic event that forced him to grow up before his time and toughen himself up because it left him with little to no support system, on top of having to be hyper vigilant because the only thing that "saved" him from that is a literal demon who wants his soul and is haunting him.

So I just wanted to create this alternative timeline where maybe things aren’t as terrible, or they start out as terrible but then some good things come from the most unexpected sources. Ciel is five years younger and thus has more time to process everything and try to heal as he grows up. Sebas isn’t entirely a bastard and willingly does nice things for the child, even if he still doesn’t understand human needs, and while he stills views him as a potential meal (at least at the beginning) he's actually respectful. There’s another demon who understands humans all too well and is happy to lend a hand. His friends and the relatives he has left are more involved in his life. So Ciel more or less has a support system now, albeit a weird dysfunctional one, and doesn’t entirely lose his sweetness (also like... he's 5/6 at the beginning of the story, we really can't expect a preschooler to be an edgy emo who craves violence and revenge ☠️). I imagine he grows up to be just as calculating and cunning as canonverse Ciel, maybe even just as ruthless in his job because it’s a requirement, and is still pretty much a little shit, but this Ciel is not as cold and undemonstrative. He’s still very much an introvert who prefers to be left alone, but he smiles (as in genuinely smile) more often and it’s a little easier for him to express emotions and feelings (more through actions than words, but still meaningful). Hell he may allow himself to be playful and silly sometimes if he’s in the moment.

And if it wasn’t clear from the picture, little Ciel ADORES Sebastian. Sure he's (understandably) a bit skittish around him at first, but once they bond he comes to fully view him as a parental figure. Yes, he's hurt, sad and traumatized, but he's still a resilient little kid, and with enough kindness Sebas can coax his old self to come out of his shell, and until the kid becomes more independent they're like a mama duck and her lil duckling. Their constant banter and bickering when he's older is more a teens being teens thing than anything.

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captmickey · 10 months ago

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Out of curiosity, what game has your favorite writing for Guybrush? Personally I'd say probably Tales, I especially love how his and Elaine's relationship is handled there.

Oh my dear sweet Anon, I was in the midst of writing about just that for a different comment.... this one, to be exact:

So ah.... might as well merge that with your ask.

In a super duper condense nutshell, Tales is my absolutely favorite version of Guybrush (if we take Dadbrush and SoT out of the equation.... which that's a thought I've had in the past) because of what they decided to push for. Aside from no longer being a walking punch line and as you so rightfully pointed out in regards to his relationship with Elaine, Guybrush throughout the story learned the importance of opening up to people and knowing it's okay to ask for help. He also learned first hand that his actions had genuine consequences to them. And he grew to be selfless instead of selfish.

But in a longer format? This is now my "Welcome to Mickey's incoherent TED Talk why Tales of Monkey Island is amazing and I will not take any slander on my boy's character".

(Also I might forget a point or five so keep that in mind... I have a lot to say about this game haha)

So lets get to it: Tales!Guybrush is, in my humble opinion, the iteration with the most depth (if we don't take SoT!Guybrush into account).

Up until Tales, there wasn't much exploration about his character. Like, don't get me wrong, I'm not going to go about and say he had NO character (in fact I'd say the opposite). He has it, though we only see it either if we interact on things and he does/responds to the thing that's not 'nah' or 'no' or digging through the dialog tree.

For example, in MI2, after digging through multiple dialog trees, it lets us know that Guybrush still loves Elaine even after they broke up and that he felt pressured by the pirate community to do something grandeur and even adopt that meaner personality he sports in the game. In MI3, if you screw up the elevator puzzle two-three times on Skull Island, Guybrush shows he is still very petty and even mean by shoving LeFoot off of said cliff.

But in Tales, it's where we get SO much depth with him with both his interaction, dialog tree, and even his reaction to the adventure as the story continues. It's, to date, the only canonical MI game where Guybrush not only expresses more emotions aside from his usual light-hearted, somewhat carefree, and even snarky personality. It's also the one to force him to look at how his actions badly hurt not just those around close to him, but even himself.

With exception from SoT, Tales is also the first time we see Guybrush react in hurt, guilt and even genuine anger and not petty irritation.

Now mind you, I love Return dearly (Boybrush my beloved~). It's funny, the puzzles are challenging enough, my vindication is through the roof with that game (GUYBRUSH AND ELAINE ARE END GAME WITH CHILD, SUCK IT THOSE WHO SAID IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN!!) and it's the perfect send off to the franchise if there's to never be another Monkey Island with Guybrush getting his rightful and hard earned happily ever after (and I'd love for there to be more 'Guybrush narrating to his son' kind of games but that's a topic for another day).

But after thinking about it properly, as great as a send off as Return was, it didn't hit in the same way that Tales did - narratively and character speaking. Like I said, I love the jokes, I genuinely get a good laugh especially so from LeChuck of all characters, but Tales did something that I have grown to respect and admire it for. It gave us back the badass and loving Elaine, it gave us back a genuine threat that is LeChuck who even reached out to (demon) Godhood. But more importantly, Tales stood out because it had Guybrush grow up.

What was said about Guybrush is previous interviews, and it bleeds into my incoherent ramblings, is that he's more of an idealist than an optimist and can often times be considered one of the more dangerous people to be stuck in a room with (because he is smart and he can be very mean). And throughout the series until Tales, you can't entirely fault him for being like that.

He's so experienced in the pirate-y game that he reminds the players at any given opportunity that he knows what he's doing. He knows enough to not rely on others and is willing to push people away just to get to his goal. And because he's so experienced and knows what to do, he tries to keep doing things alone even though the game - repeatedly - says otherwise:

So within the context to Tales, Guybrush by then is no longer this naive, wide-eyed wanna-be pirate.

-He's established (if Morgan is anything to go by).

-He has his wits to him (if LeChuck's remark is anything to go by).

-He's seasoned in his usual adventuring antics ("I feel a pirate-y quest coming on" he says, not eagerly... almost like it's a Tuesday for him).

In Chapter 1, after he steals the Screaming Narwhal from Van Winslow, he tells tries to tell him how he doesn't need a crew (plot twist: Winslow ends up being the best crewmate he ever had in the series)

In Chapter 2, when LeChuck insists on solving the puzzle himself, Guybrush is annoyed (aside from it being, y'know, LeChuck) because he was so certain he could do the puzzle alone (plot twist: he couldn't)

In Chapter 3, how he told Morgan to basically sit down and let him do all the work via talking to a mutinous crew and an out-of-touch captain (plot twist: he needed to brute force the crew in the end).

At every single point when he tries to do things alone (and friendly reminder: he's trying to fix a situation he inadvertently caused via Pox), there was always someone that made the process easier... primarily Winslow and Morgan.

(I should note, this isn't me slandering Elaine.... I genuinely believe her when she says she was trying to break whatever connection Guybrush, LeChuck and the Voodoo Lady seem to have but that... that's another rant for another day).

Anyways! Speaking of my all time favorite first mate.... lets talk about how he was the one that actually got Guybrush to begin his growth. In chapter one, Guybrush had zero issues using a bomb to knock Winslow off the ship, he had zero issues of straight up stealing the literal only means of escaping the island and yet Winslow, though competitive and having his own fair share of snark, treated Guybrush as an equal... even though he was in every sense of the word a threat to stealing the ship. He welcomes Guybrush to the challenge, tells him how he could (and should) do better when his initial plans fail. Even when Winslow looses, he smiles and commends Guybrush, calling him by new title of Captain... there's nothing malicious in his words or tone - he's genuinely happy for Guybrush which throws him off since he's not used to it.

He's not used to people being a good sport or even nice to him (ESPECIALLY the nice thing). So when Winslow asks to join, Guybrush is (rightfully so) super hesitant on letting Winslow in on his crew of one. He's been hurt, he's been mutinied, even in the prologue he was betrayed by the crew we the players only see if we click on the hatch of his ship... but Winslow pushes through and makes himself a crewmate for Guybrush. And not just any ol' crewmate. Winslow decides and goes to be the BEST one by freaking MILES by being the only one to not even indulge in mutiny and genuinely respect Guybrush (I don't think he's ever called Guybrush by his first name now that I think about it), even going so far as to save him during chapter 5 and telling LeChuck, a DEMON GOD, to stay away from Guybrush.

I've made a mention that Guybrush is known to be mean, especially so to people who wronged him. But he's not an overall mean-spirited kind of a person (....excluding MI2 where he's just mean). He'll show concern every now and again with a snark dashed in, but with Winslow, we get to see Guybrush gradually view Winslow less as a crewmate and more as a genuine friend. And that's not to say Guybrush hasn't seen a crewmate as friends (looking at you, Barber Quartet and Carla), but his banter to Winslow is more akin to a friend than a crewmate.... especially so by Chapter 5 when saved.

And I can't talk about Guybrush opening up without mentioning Morgan LeFlay. The key person to Guybrush's growth. The one who put a mirror in front of him and had him really and truly comprehend that his actions have consequences. She's the first one that both us and Guybrush learn is an actual fan (yes I am refuting Planet Threepwood as that just monetized his image for tourists (and they utilize his image wrongfully at that)) and even outright says how she was inspired by him to not only learn how he fights, but how to hold her breath like him.

She really highlights all the cool parts about him, even if she got it wrong in some aspects (such as thinking he fights his way to victory instead of talking and using his wits.... which Guybrush outright says he's known for far more) and Guybrush, because he has that bit of an ego to him, just took it, he didn't really think much of it. He even makes a few jabs at her for being his fan. But all in all, he likes her.

Until the betrayal.

And that betrayal really is the light to the whole thing about Guybrush growing up and facing different aspects of his emotions and personality.

Up until the betrayal, through the entirety of Chapter 3, even when Morgan is irritated that he's not looking at her as an equal and he refutes her help for the good first half of the chapter (pretending to be his wife aside), the two eventually find common grounds and Guybrush, thanks to Winslow and learning to open up a bit more, starts to view her as a friend. Guybrush and Morgan even grow a bit of a banter between the two!

But she betrays him so thoroughly that it causes Guybrush to put back up those walls of his and push everyone away.

He is hurt and he is angry.

Two emotions he had not shown throughout Monkey Island. Irritation? Sure. Aggravation? Absolutely! But hurt and genuinely angry?

Not. Once.

And it wasn't LeChuck that pushed him to show it... it was a supposed friend! And that's so incredibly wild to me! You'd think Guybrush would show some form of anger towards LeChuck for constantly being his nemesis, constantly trying to kill him and steal Elaine, but no... no it was a fan who betrayed his trust (that he RARELY gives, I should stress) that got him absolutely angry.

And it's because of that betrayal arc that actually made me adore Tales!Guybrush. Because it really only gets worse for Guybrush and he's really pushed to a limit.

Throughout Chapter 4, he is constantly refuting help from anyone, it's really the Guybrush we're used to of being essentially a loner and doing things by himself (not that he could push Winslow away anyways.... he was stuck on the Narwhal). He even makes a very snide and very mean remarks that boils down to how her betrayal is essentially what messed up his plan to save Elaine AND the Caribbean, and he even angrily tells her how HE (not him and Winslow, not him and the Voodoo Lady - JUST Guybrush) needs to save his wife and cure the Caribbean. Not WE.

(and something I thought of as I type this and I have no idea how to shoehorn this into the rambling but worth noting - at the start of the quest, he always focused on just curing himself and Elaine. The Caribbean was a bonus but it was really an adventure driven to save his wife.... and then Winslow gets Pox'd and he changes that tone from 'saving Elaine' to 'Elaine AND the Caribbean')

It goes from bad to worse during the courtroom when Guybrush gets a one-two combo of hurt: Elaine is so far gone Pox'd that he and the sponge can't reach her, LeChuck (his arch-nemesis that he was, until this point, the ONLY ONE to openly say he did not trust while everyone else did) comes in to be the only one on the island to defend him, the reveal that the Voodoo Lady had been behind essentially everything in Guybrush's life and kept throwing him in harms way (though that is also a rambling for another day)... all forms of trust, new and old, is shattering for him.

As I've said, this chapter is where we see Guybrush - not Poxed - genuinely hurt and angry, and aside from Morgan, he shows it on the Voodoo Lady by losing his cool with her, angrily saying that he no longer trusts her.

Yet he still, somehow, reels back that anger. Somehow. Not entirely.

Because it reaches to a head when he goes to DeSinge and finds a dying Morgan, who is apologizing to him because she was trying to make right to him after hurting him. A gesture Guybrush had never been given before: he never had anyone try to do right by him... and it cost them.

Someone is dying because he made them feel bad. They're not seeking revenge, they're not trying to hurt him... they're trying to say sorry.

And failed.

And there.... THERE we see for the first time Guybrush genuinely and unapologetically Angry. Granted, his anger, initially, was thinking DeSinge killed her, but he's not entirely wrong to blame DeSinge. If DeSinge had never gone after Guybrush, if DeSinge had just let him be to cure the Caribbean, if DeSinge had not been so villainous, Morgan would still very much be alive.

Guybrush could have, under different circumstances, met Morgan and maybe their friendship wouldn't have been so tarnished because of gold or silver.

And while Guybrush is angry and blaming DeSinge... he decides on something that he hasn't done in the franchise: getting revenge.

And not just comedic revenge as he's shown in the past, he's genuinely after DeSinge for killing Morgan and wants to strike him down in return.

And I. Adore. Tales. For. That!

He shows his anger again when LeChuck mocks Guybrush while he's a ghost, but it's not NEARLY as furious as when he looks out the window and bitterly says DeSinge's name. Not even when he declares how he's going to take down LeChuck is he that enraged.

His foundation of trust and genuine friends is shaken and shattered and bruised, but this is the only game where Guybrush takes action. He never really outright bemoans or says out loud "it's my fault", but he lets his actions do the talking.

And before it's pointed out "But it's still for his own gain", I'm gonna have to put one huge giant asterisk to that:

He needed the locket, but he cheers up Anemone by reuniting them with Winslow (and silly remarks aside, he genuinely is happy for their relationship).

He couldn't touch physical items, but he speaks rather warmly towards Winslow and asking if Winslow would still willingly help him as well as seek out advice.

He cheers Morgan up and offers her way back to the realm of the living... and that one had no ulterior motive. It was the least he could do after mis-hearing her dying words and it was his own way of apologizing to her.

I've also said in the beginning of this ramble that this is the only game to let Guybrush feel hurt. And again, not in that comedic kind of way.

In previous games, when he's discouraged or feeling some form of despair, it's always followed up with some kind of joke or laugh. Something at Guybrush's expense. And it would make sense considering whenever he felt that despair horizon of sorts, he was always (shocker) alone.

As mentioned before, he is incredibly used to doing things alone and without help. Tales changed that.

When Elaine "agrees" to being a Demon Bride (which, side tangent, she clearly began plotting on how to use it against LeChuck with her very loud and very apparent 'Hmmmmm' alley-ooped with "Yeeeeesss.....!" Like something clicked for her as an improved plan), Guybrush (RIGHTFULLY) feels discouraged: again, he's been betrayed by one too many people, the world is ending, LeChuck is a GOD, he's dead, and Elaine (as far as he knew) agreed to being a Demon Bride. After having four (well, three) whole chapters of opening up and relying on people to going back to being alone... no one can fault him for giving up.

And it's not the "Ah well, sucks to suck" like he does in Escape, he genuinely sits on the floor of Crossroads and sounds like he's just about ready to cry (Mickey where-- "C'mon Morgan, I just lost my *wife*" he says with the last part having his voice wavering, come freaking at me).

It takes Morgan... MORGAN, the one who brought out ANGER out of him, to not even cheer him up, but to tell him to give it one more go to try and save Elaine and the world. She even says how she admires his dedication since it never ever wavered... both in his memoirs and as she witnessed first hand, so he has to get back up.

But!! The biggest kicker was that he was not quickly bouncing back going "Yeah, you're right lets go save the world" and proceeds to make a fourth wall joke-- he looks away! He has a brief moment on his expression of feeling hurt and betrayed at his supposed dedication (again, he genuinely believed Elaine's lie and I'll get back at that in just a minute). He tries to think of a plan but he's so incredibly hurt that he quickly finds flaws within his own plans and I just....! He's the guy that always think of something. Whether it's a coherent plan or a Guybrush plan, he always has some kind of a plan.... maybe not Elaine-level, but he's not dimwitted to not be able to think of SOMETHING.

He is, frankly, too hurt to think of a solid enough plan and to think back on the adventure. It takes Morgan to suggest he finds some shield to block the attack (his body against voodoo root beer) for him to finally click a plan and perk just a little bit back up.

That hurt continues strong when he faces off against Elaine after reclaiming his body and pleads desperately that it's him, to please stop. There is no quips during that moment, he's just desperate for the one person he unapologetically and whole heartedly loves that just describing her has him swooning in love, flaws and all.

But my favorite favorite FAVORITE thing, since this is Guybrush finally expressing his anger and hurt, is how he shows it towards Elaine. When the control over her disappears and she's conscious again, if going through the dialog tree, Guybrush makes her promise him one thing and one thing only - To not give up and become LeChuck's bride again.

Not find a way to save Guybrush, not for revenge.... but to not give up.

It's the first time we see him be selfless. He's not asking her to use that mind of her's to find a way to save him, all that's on his mind is keeping Elaine safe and destroying LeChuck.

So he makes Elaine swear to not give up and is genuinely stern and demanding with her when she asks him to not talk like he's going to die again (which... is a hard promise since he's a ghost controlling a literal corpse at this point) but he stops her, and very very VERY sternly and nearly shouting at her to promise him just that. He would never raise his voice to her in ALL of Monkey Island!! He would sass every now and again, sure, but he would never ask her of nearly anything.

And that's how you see the lesson of asking for help had finally set in! He makes her promise him, he tells her to light the cannon, to attack LeChuck while the Undead Pirate was between realms, Guybrush had finally FINALLY started to ask for help and it's not for himself!

And the final act Guybrush does in tales is, hands down, the most selfless thing he had ever done in the entirety of ALL of Monkey Island: He sacrificed himself.

This is the same man who would saw off a peg leg, nail shut a person into a coffin, steal a monocle, destroy a ship with a boulder, steal artifacts for his own gains, mock, jab, and embarrass anyone that would cross him.... and he sacrificed his only means back to the realm of the living for Elaine and everyone else.

Tales, in that moment, became hands down my all time favorite iteration of Guybrush. He had shown an immense level of growth, he showed he was open to having friends, asking for help, understanding when things are bigger than him, letting himself feel such strong emotions like anger and hurt... Tales!Guybrush has easily the grandest and greatest character growth and one of the main reasons why I refute anytime someone say he's just a bumbling moron who is needlessly mean.

I'm sure I'm missing something or a detail or another reason why Tales is my favorite iteration (note: iteration, not game.... that one is in perpetual cycle with Curse), but for now I'll end it on this note:

He can be mean, he is definitely a goof with his own quips, and at times even selfish... but Guybrush Threepwood at his core is cunning, hilarious, and he is unapologetically loving to those that matter in his life. He just picks who gets to see that side of him.

#monkey island #....I um. Have a lot to say.#A lot.

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tezuze · 11 months ago

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Hi I’m gonna rant about Ghost Game for a second

Not to meaning to add to the endless “What the hell happened to Ghost Game????” discourse but uh, yeah I guess I am contributing to that

I have quite a bit to say about my theories on what I think went wrong and what they could’ve done better and why I desperately do not want a season 2 (I know the irony of how that looks on me) but if I wrote all that in one space I think it would be so long that even I would start begging for me to shut up

So, I’m going to split these up into more digestible categories that I’ll write whenever I’m procrastinating

In case I never get around to anything else, I’m going to start with the biggest loss to me, how I think the Digimon were supposed to influence their tamer’s personal growth and visa-versa

I’ll put the rest below the cut before I get outta hand

Hiro and Gammamon: Augh. These two frustrate me the most. So much lost potential in my book, but I would feel weird putting the mc anywhere but the top of the list, so I decided to put them in the order they join the cast and therefore you get my most passionate feelings first.

Almost one of the first things we learn about Hiro as a character is how self-sacrificing he is. He’s your stereotypical mc who wants to help everyone, but the narrative points out that he’s willing to be helpful at the expense of his own wellbeing, which paints his conventionally good trait as a flaw. And that’s about all they touch on in the base show, with a lot of reading between the lines. I would’ve loved to see the ramifications of his self-sacrificing nature and have the cast point out how he’s really harming himself and stretching himself thin just to appease others. I don’t think the “being helpful is good, but not at the expense of your health” moral is touched on enough so I always get excited when stories have that as one of their themes.

And then there’s his partner, Gammamon, the exact opposite of Hiro. He’s needy, dependent, wild, and selfish at the start. He doesn’t care about others (or their belongings). He’s demanding. He’s destructive. He proves to be a handful for our polite little Hiro, especially with his dad missing and this responsibility suddenly thrusted upon him.

I would’ve loved to see Gammamon teach Hiro to be a little more selfish (or at least, more self-preserving), while Hiro teaches Gammamon to be more considerate and tame. Of course, we see Gammamon grow in this way but the story doesn’t really make it clear that it was necessarily Hiro’s doing or give much of a catalyst at all for why Gammamon has personal growth other than it would be troublesome to have such a brat as the main creature. Now, I know that Guilmon’s arc was kinda similar in that they didn’t have direct events or anything that would make him mature, but it still felt more… realistic? Tended to? Idk I’m going to force myself to move on.

Ruli and Angoramon: Honestly just kinda disappointed with the lack of attention these two got in general in comparison to the other pairs, but I digress.

We meet Ruli with the impression that she’s brash, headstrong, and charismatic. She does things her way on a whim. Especially in the first few and select episodes, but in my opinion, it seemed like they kinda pushed her to the background and her personality was very passive and mild at times (and I don’t think that was on purpose).

Similarly to Hiro and Gammamon, Angoramon has quite a few contrasting personality traits. He’s softspoken, knowledgeable, and introspective. When Hiro first meets Angoramon, he doesn’t want to reveal himself because he’s nervous and doesn’t want to be a bother.

I think these two were supposed to balance each other out. Ruli would learn to think about things more and not run in half-cocked, maybe start to appreciate the more slow and peaceful things in life like nature and reading (Yeah Ruli, don’t think I forgot about that scene where Angoramon wanted you to read one of his favorite books and you DIDN’T and never DID). Meanwhile, Angoramon would come out of his shell more from sticking around Ruli. Possibly learn not to be so overbearing? Idk, honestly I don’t think Angoramon has as much room for growth because he seems the most level-headed character in the cast.

Lastly,

Kiyoshiro and Jellymon: Now, I know I have some bias toward these two so it might seem I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt but I’m going to try to come at them as objectively as I can.

They kinda half-executed what I think they were going for with these two, so they don’t offend me as much (which I think is part of the reason why I like them so much), but a full written out arc between them would’ve been a dream.

Kiyoshiro at the beginning of the series is, well, a sniveling inconsolable scaredy cat. On top of that, he’s kind of cocky and stuck up, obsessed with order and somewhat an introvert (to a lesser extent and differently than angoramon, in the “can’t relate to other humans” kinda way). Outside of his flaws, he is at least kind and pure of heart (I mean his name more or less means “pure white”) with a strong sense of justice and morals.

Jellymon, the devil creature, is so chaotic her intro episode goes right for the “everyone is going to die and it’s all Jellymon’s fault” thing. She has her moments of scheming and kinda like Gammamon, is pretty selfish and demanding with hints of Ruli’s recklessness as well.

As far as their canonic growth goes, Jellymon’s the only one that sees the bravery in her darling, which helps him nurture that courage and cast aside some of his fears (which, yay they actually kinda do in the series albeit pretty indirectly and kinda inconsistently). Also, the narrative never outright says Kiyo is lonely but he surely doesn’t have any companions, but we can see him grow on his partner and admit that it’s nice to have such a close friendship (pretty sure the whole “I like humans” thing was directed at Jellymon, even though she’s not human shhhhh it makes sense I promise)

Now for what they didn’t really touch on, I think these two were supposed to break each other’s stubbornness. I think Jellymon was supposed to show Kiyo how to relax more and not become so absorbed in studies/research and such. We meet him already knowing he has a love for anime, idols and the like so I’m not sure if he could really learn the lesson to appreciate more of the little things, but maybe she’d show him to love some more like, people-centered type things? (I mean she does love festivals). On the flip side, I think Kiyo was supposed to use not his classroom knowledge, but his personal knowledge to show Jellymon all there is to love about humanity outside of their monetary worth and give her a genuine love for the human world. Oh yeah, and teach her to stop scamming people.

“”””I’m gOinG tO tRy To LiMiT mY BiAs oN KiYoSHiRo aNd jElLyMoN”””””””” *Proceeds to spend half my rant talking about Kiyoshiro and Jellymon even though I think they did them pretty well*

Anyway, would love to hear other’s opinions on this as well as if it seems like I’m reaching and there weren’t supposed to be arcs like this. I just feel like the characters are too inherently flawed and contrast too perfectly with their Digimon for them not to have intended some more character-centered personal growth arcs.

I’m sorry and thank you for reading my dumb thoughts.

#digimon #digimon ghost game #ghost game #hiro amanokawa #ruli tsukiyono #kiyoshiro higashimitarai #gammamon #angoramon #jellymon #text post #wall of text #fandom analysis

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isadrora · 10 months ago

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The Fledgling writes Good Omens for school!

Alexander Perry

Year 6

Assignment: English Close reading

Description: Choose a piece of writing to describe and have opinion about (fiction)

Author: Irisblefic

Source: Archive of Our Own (https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055257)

Year published: 2006-09-30

Intro:

I choose this piece of writing becuase of two reasons. For the first, I have watched the tv show “Good Omens” and enjoy it a lot. I then learned that is based on a book that is also called Good Omens (authors Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett). With help of my mum I have also read the book. I like the book very much. I think that it is very different from the show but they both have lots to give offer. One of things both have in common is the stories that the fans (like me and my mum) write themselves. This is called Fan fiction. It is very legal to do this and is actually encouraged by the creator and actors. I want to write about a very good story that is written by a writer that has written many stories based on this world and charcters I enjoy.

Content:

In terms of just happening things in the story, there are these two characters that figure out that they love each other very much over week period. This I will say is one of those things where its not enough o just say “this happens” because the writer makes it clear that there is lots going on the surface with emotions. I will like to point out that I choose this story because there is lots of deeper stuff in feelings and what the characters dont say: this is a very interesting part of the story and makes it very unique.

Characters:

Crowley: (a demon his name he chose for himself is Anthony J Crowley):

He is a man shaped Being. He is a fallen angel: that is he used to be an angel in Heaven until some angels that were in Heaven had the fight with the ones in charge because they were rebelios (The First War in Heavan). We dont know why he was thrown out of Heavan exactly. This story only gives us idea but I am taking ideas from the TV show and the book and using it to make my ideas some more deep. Crowley as he is now has a slim shape, he is tall, and it is known his face sharp and pretty (rather than typical handsome as is common to use to describe male characters in books). Unique to him is that he has plants and is “highly strung” which has to do with that he is actually not as relaxed and cool as he pretends to be. He shouts at his plants and is obsessed with cleaning and being organized. This shows clearly in the story also that he has become “human like” and part of why he actually lets himself accept being in love and more truthful about being with Aziraphale. The show also lets us have a good idea of him because he is as a demon might be, sarcastick and thin and dark. It is funny to watch the show be cause the TV Crowley has different voice I think than the book and both are very good. This story I’m talking about now is very close to book character I think but I can also imagine the TV Crowley if I like which is I think a positive aspect. I will say more about this later.

Aziraphale:

He is an angel although quite a strange one, different from the other ones we meet in the show version and its clear in all the versions (and also from the fanfiction story) that he has been opn earth (and with Crowley) so long that its changed him. My mother told me the term “he’s gone native” to describe him which she says is common to say that people take up habits and thinking of the place they settle. This to me is exact right for these two main characters. He is kind and well spoken. He has good manners and old fashioned style. Although the story Im talking about doesn’t do lots of physical descriptions one can get clear ideas just by “reading for context”. Just by using dialoge especially the expression “Oh dear” “Good heavens” and others a reader can get an idea of him, softer looking than Crowley which actually makes good sense because they are clear meant to be opposites (but in a positive way in the end). In this story its clear he’s accepted his love for Crowley and is shown actually to be the one to have made effort to take things further. This actually is different from how he is in the show where he is scared and in Denial quite a lot. But whats also interesting is the story lets it be seen that he is not just “soft” he is somewhat of “bastard” this also from the book and show. Its important as my mum says that this is clear as part of his personality or Crowley would never have been able to see him different from other angels. I get the idea from “In 7 Days” that he is actually manipulating (not in bad way) that him and Crowley grow closer. I will talk also more of this upcoming.

Discussion:

First of all the way this story is presented is effective. I especially like the way it is broken into weekdays. The title is important : in Bible terms the earth was created in 7 days and this reflects the time it takes for the two main characters to realize their love properly. Creation is good idea for theme here because Crowley grows plants (creates life) and Aziraphale loves books (ideas created). It is also so good that every day division has a little heading underneath. Some made me laugh, like the Monday one that starts the story (“Survival of the fittest. ONLY the fittest.”). This has literally to do with Crowleys plants but also you can maybe think that is about Crowley and Aziraphale love too. It has survived so long and so much that even though “Evolution” is a bit of joke in book and show , something about it is actually true.

Moving on, the point of view (POV) is mostly from Crowley side. I personally like the fanfiction stories that are from his side. This is just preference because he is my favourite character. I would like to say also that it would be so good to get the POV of this story from Aziraphale also: I would like one day to try write something like that if ever I get good at it. But it works very well from Crowley POV for this story because as I said before he is interesting in that its Clear he loves Aziraphale for a long time. But the story makes very clear he has lots of what is called “defense mechanisms” to prevent him being hurt or looking too close at the feelings. So we see his shouting at plants, at his still thinking in terms like “ruining” Aziraphales day because they were Enemies, like him throwing away the card from Aziraphale at first and so on. This is him keeping old habits because he can’t think of how to be otherwise. I will say that my mum calls this story “a Crowley character study” and I like that idea a lot. Its not always important that lots of things Happen in a story for it to be very exciting and good and this story taught me that.

For another thing we can maybe think about “turning point” which most stories must have and I think that irisbleufic has this happen on the Wednesday (which seems good place as feels like middle of a week). It seems like a turning point comes when Crowley has Aziraphale sleeping on his couch after they spent night drinking wine and chatting. I think that its clear they dont do anything romantic at this point but that Aziraphale is there at all still is what Crowley reacts to (even if not openly). For me I think this part makes clear that Aziraphale is now the one making effort to get them to be together properly: because Aziraphale doesn’t really sleep if he doesn’t want to (its clear that demon and angel dont need sleep for real) and so why would he at end of the Wednesday part be sure to be snoring so Crowley wont make him leave. I think this is where Crowley gives into his feelings even with out him really knowing he does.

Another important part that I like evry much is the Thursday section. Crowley rushes over to Aziraphale bookshop what he thinks is emergency. They have dialogue that is this:

“See, that's the problem with things like dust, and plants," Crowley added philosophically, helping himself to some more tea. "If they're inanimate, then I'm your aunt. You've got to let them know who's boss."

Aziraphale smiled faintly, setting down his cup.

"Why do you think I asked you here?"

This is a very good dialoge. It has different meaning to both of them. Aziraphale reply to Crowley almost seem like he is a bit smug because he knows Crowley will do anything for him but Crowley still thinks he has upper hand. “philosophy” is aword that the writer uses lots to connect to Crowley. My mum says this shows how Crowley likes to think of himself that he has control and a plan for his whole long life. But then there is Aziraphale now deciding that they should change that plan. This type of writing is very clever. Nothing big happens really but the small things happen in an important way.

Its also good how the Friday part is just used to show an easy normal scene that is between them as if they are already married or properly together. That is its as if they already are just nobody said it yet. “Laundry” is the heading for this one and that shows how normal everything seems already. Its also very funny to me because their version of laundry is snapping fingers and cleaning things (this also from the show which is very flirting part). When Crowley just says he will “start sleeping over” just casually, it is almost a shock because it isn’t a shock. That is how the story has led you to think of it all as logical even though there been no Romantic confession or big fights or anything.

The Saturday part is what is called as climax of the story because in a way its where Crowley has the full realization. It is never really put like that but irisbleufic makes it clear from his behaviour. Its not like in movies where the person will say “I love her/ him” and then run to them or whatever. What happens is that all the things that Crowley did before to make sure he was ok are not enough anymore. His Defense mechanism is not good because Aziraphale quietly been breaking it down. I will say that there is a piece about a Movie that Crowley watches that I didn’t understand about Gone with theWind. I asked my mum to explain what this meant and I think it has to do with that that movie is a very serious movie that everyone loves but is actually a bit horrible and so thats why Crowley calling it comedy is funny. I like that shows his sarcastick nature.

Moving last to the last day and this when they get together properly. I think its very good that the writer does not show the actual event. I think that it is important that the characters show their love physical because of their being changed by earth and they have become more earthly. It makes good sense and is very romantic. For my opinion though we cannot really imagine how the Sexual part will look for angel and demon and so its much better to be shown how they feel afterwards. This story is very good at that in fact actually is wonderfull. The characters are not changed by what happens between them, they are just more open. Crowley is still kind of bratty and Aziraphale is still fussy. But they are finally together and that is the point of the story in the end. Its interesting that Crowley actually says the fact that Aziraphale had a “seduction” plan for him., I want to ask, is it maybe that he knew about Aziraphale wanting it all wlong? Or is is just that he wants to try still be cool after he admits it to himself? It may be doesn’t matter because the last part is so good that I dont want the story to end even. The last line is I understand Inuuendo and that is also important because it shows Crowley being open to finally being loving and Affectionate.

Conclusion: A lot of people dont think that writing about FanFiction stories is real work and I think that is ridiculous i hope that this story will prove that wrong. A lot of people also think that the sexual parts of some stories are not good for us in Year 6 to write about but there are books we read with some of that in it already and worse than for example this story or others Ive read. It is a proper part of the story and needed for it to be good. To end I will say that this story is one of best things Ive ever read and theres lots more stuff about this “world” Good omens to read and that is positive

#aziraphale x crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens 2 #ineffable spouses #the fledgling loves good omens #irisbleufic #fanfiction #fanfiction recs

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genderisareligion · 4 days ago

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I haven't explained why I've decided to be Homestuck's Alt Calliope on this blog but if we're mutuals on @genderisstillareligion (and if you were with its predecessor) you've probably seen me rotate between like the same five trolls and one of the Strilalondes for years now lol and I just wanna clarify to new people that I'm technically an ex fan since I haven't touched HS2 since 2021 and won't until "they finish it" and don't hang out on the Reddit anymore as of that year too and as of mostly finishing my Act 1 & 2 pilot script to potentially send to Andrew one day if anyone is ever insane enough to fund the infamous Homestuck anime after a good amount of the subreddit said don't bother writing this but not for very good reasons (listen, I was a Healthcare worker during COVID thus suffered a gradual mental breakdown that began with me rereading almost the entire comic again page by page during "lockdown" lol I'm mostly recovered now but won't ever be entirely)

I was extremely touched by the Wicked film and Cynthia's performance and the power that is Black Elpheba despite having mixed feelings about Ariana (the racebaiting is a lot and she's too rich but as she's the most well known Nickelodeon child star victim I have huge empathy for her and can separate appreciation for her voice from whoever she is) because I no longer remember my previous obsession with Wicked during childhood due to amnesia from DID; can't remember the exact year it toured in my city when Idina and Kristen first debuted but I was old enough that I should remember why I was so upset that "the third section of the book wasn't in the show" (no idea if this is true just what I remember lol past me is so pretentious and has no idea how privileged she was to even be able to see the show 😭) and if it's not obvious

This green vaguely "female" alien from Homestuck is heavily inspired by Elpheba

Calliope like every Homestuck character has multiple versions of herself due to the nature of the setting (a reality altering video game where after you lose a life your past self doesn't pixilate in the nothing it sticks around and might fuck with you) but her multiself situation is probably the weirdest because when this alien species is young there are two distinct "personalities" "minds" "souls" what have you who trade turns being awake/using the body until maturation when one will usurp the other

With the help of psychotherapy and an app called Pluralkit I've determined I have 10 to 20 alters at the moment as far as I know but I was unaware of the count for most of my life because one "personality" of the "highest order" (a more intelligent network in my brain) "hid" this from me by adapting creative writing as a hobby and making me think that my hypergraphia (a legit neurological disorder I just learned about) was "normal"

Who I've presented out in the world and who I've been in my inner life have not always been opposites per se because that would imply a bipolar rather than a multipolar spectrum that I can exist on, but they pretty much don't ever fully agree and sometimes don't exist in each other's worlds, I've often found myself "holding conflicting opinions" and "wanting to summarize everything and explore all sides" and still wanting "world peace" like the twenty year old sorority pageant girl I was once

It hit me like a ton of bricks when I reread the Epilogues in 2023 (I bought the hardcover leave me alone I'm a grandma fan and completely avoiding the tumblr fandom has vastly improved the experience lol) that as much as I always think that I'm just some amalgamation of the Strilalondes in one body, I'm actually very much Alt Calliope as I enter my 30s

Towards the end of Calliope's story she finds an indeterminably old version of herself who unlike our Calliope won the fight for dominance at maturation rather than the other "personality" Caliborn, which our Calliope always thought was what she needed to do to win the video game and save everything real potentially being killed by it. Turns out not and the dominant Alt Calliope lost to the death (there's only one win condition and no one knows what it is it's all trial and error) and has been wandering alone in the waste of her trial for thousands of years, knowing that her only hope is the chance of a better reroll in some inconceivablely far future

But being dead isn't even a little bit of a hindrance once the new Calliope finds the old Calliope and the save condition is met, because she retained all her powers and is basically the reason all the surviving main characters now have a victory planet to do sequels on, a victory planet she can't take part in but can only narrate the events of

I don't think I have to spell out the radical feminist metaphor. If you know you know lol

#shadow.txt #homestuck //////#TRA homestucks DNI lol these days a lot of yall were born less than a decade before this shit started so #I know more about this than you sorry 😇

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egg-emperor · 2 years ago

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My sources for the Eggman info that's considered, compiled, and included in my analysis and fact sharing:

THE GAMES - English and JP. Number one source above everything. Anything outside of it has to align with them to be considered because I'm specifically all about game canon Eggman and there's no other place that's going to define game Eggman than, well, the games themselves

Sonic Channel - Because Sega/Sonic Team JP are most credible when it comes to their own characters. the information is valuable and adds a lot of cool details, fun facts, art, stories, and videos, faithful to the games

TailsTube English and JP - Because they're made to be informative about the characters and world we see in the games and are meant to be the rundown of facts and things we need to know. Possibly also JP VTuber stream stuff but I still haven't gotten entire translations of VTuber Eggman's first appearance yet to be able to compile and analyze anything

Sega/Sonic Team official writers/creators, English or JP - ONLY if they worked on the specific piece of media/story/character they're speaking on. For example, Flynn on writing Frontiers, but if it's game he didn't write for then no. Unless it's someone who is a credible source on possessing knowledge even outside of that like Iizuka for example, and it adds up with the games' contents

Small bonuses - Some promotional material both English and JP. For example, the Sonic Forces join the Eggman Empire video on the English YouTube and the JP Sonic Forces Eggman takeover Eggman video because they're used to promote the games and don't contradict anything and only add to it. This varies as stuff that isn't directly tied to the games or made entirely in jest doesn't count

----------------------------------------

In rare cases I will also refer to bios to support already existing facts in the games further. But Eggman has had a couple of very inaccurate bios where he's done the exact opposite in the games of what the bio states at times. So it's not black and white, I don't take it as solid proof if it's only ever been stated in the bio and won't refer to bios alone. There has to be something to point to in the games that either proves or disproves the information provided

And these alone (not including the Boom videos) really do give you all you need to know above everything as they speak for themselves:

All the main canon titles are included here and I'm working on others.

----------------------------------------

And that's it. And all of the above except for the games themselves can vary a lot because it needs to be 100% reflected in the games for it to be considered and added to my fact compiling and used in my analysis. If it contradicts it or there's no solid evidence reflecting it in the games and it also doesn't make sense as a result, I won't include it

I don't like to mash all the different official media together and use that as proof of character or stories in the games. I see people do this a lot by talking like something is game canon and when asked for sources, they pull up Archie, X, Boom, SatAM, non canon apps, Twitter DMs, contradictory bios, etc, it makes stuff super confusing and most are from separate non canon universes

You can do what you want in your own fan stuff of course but please understand that I specifically discuss, analyze, and write about game canon Eggman myself here and value and appreciate canon and want to show my love and passion for it. And these are my heavily excessively analyzed sources for everything I gather and perceive of his character facts and writing etc

I'm also always trying to keep my headcanons and fics as accurate to what I learn from all of this as possible, so if you don't like how Eggman is in the games/any of these sources in terms of personality and actions, you won't like my stuff. Trust me, everyone who has said they're not big fans of game canon Eggman has wound up hating my stuff lol. If you love game Egg like me then please discuss him with me 💜🥚

Figured this would be a good post to make and link in my pinned bio post when I make it. I may update and change things in this list in the future and have this post be the main place to refer to where I get my stuff from

#dr eggman #eggman #dr robotnik #dr. eggman #my post #important #sources

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theimaginatrix27 · 6 months ago

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So it's been a year since I began delving into Star Trek fandom properly

It's officially my birthday in my timezone! This time last year, I was gushing on the server @kintatsujo made for our circle of mutual friends about the best/most well-thought-out part of my Star Trek AU, now dubbed Galactic Warp, after its most important advancement. In a few weeks, it will be the one-year anniversary of my joining the Trek server where I would make all the friends I have in that fandom (particularly gonna shout out @roguetelepaths, who you may have noticed I've been reblogging a lot of posts from of late).

A lot has happened over the past year on that front, if I'll be quite honest. I've posted eight! fanfics for DS9 (holy shit), bringing my number of works on AO3 up into the double-digits and totalling about 140 thousand words! And there are many more to come, I assure you—the plot bunnies living in my brain evolved into tribbles and started churning out ideas for this fandom and these characters, as if making up for lost time.

I hit a lot of milestones this year (remembers the name of the first Trekfic I posted and laughs). Let's see if I can remember them all! :D

I discovered I can write Sci-fi, actually! Honestly I'm looking back at my confident assurance of the exact opposite of this and laughing, because I have proven that claim false in several ways over the past year. (See my Threshold fics for the most obvious example). But like. Also. The backdrop of one of my original series is kind of a Sci-fi setting, so I've been doing this for a while. Yeah, Kinta, laugh it up, you were right and I was very silly.

I can write Star Trek fanfics, actually, and if I mess up on anything, nobody's gonna care! I was so scared I'd embarrass myself in front of a fandom I found very intimidating, but so far, everyone's been so welcoming and people like what I've put out there! They really like it! I'm honestly humbled and grateful for all my lovely readers who have said such nice things to me in fic comments, and in private on Discord. You're all wonderful! But critically, I did make a mistake, and nobody gave a single, solitary shit. The story's an AU anyway, and people have been enjoying it, and I was worried for eleven years over nothing. You won't believe what that does for a lady's confidence.

I've learned some stuff about my own personal writing process, which is a big step forward! I've been taking in writing advice for as long as I've been fully online. I've listened to writer after writer tell me how they work, how they do things, and I've tried plenty of it myself, but to no avail. Earlier this year, I ran out of words to paste into 4TheWords, a website I'd joined several years ago because I liked its premise (turning writing into a game, where you could defeat monsters with words you wrote). I hadn't written on it live before, due to copy/paste issues I was able to resolve (the font in the site editor is different to the font I use on my computer when writing offline), but I actually started doing it because there is a particular group of enemies that are specifically time-based (all enemies have a time limit in which you must defeat them, but these guys set a timer within which you must keep typing), and I thought I could use that as freewriting sessions. Freewriting was something I'd been sure would work for me if I needed to get unstuck, and I'd actually noticed I could untangle issues I had by talking about them with friends in private, often without them even being around to help. So I tried it. And wonder of wonders! I got unstuck! On multiple stories! Just by rambling about them on a timer! And then I started writing words to defeat other enemies on the site live, and wait. How many words did I write this week? On this day? It's been a real game-changer, particularly as my edits count as more words, which impresses the fundamental truth that every word you write matters, even the ones you delete. Even the ones you edit away because the sentence didn't feel right. Even the passages that ultimately don't work. It all matters, and it all helps. And if I get stuck again, there's always the endurance monsters to help me out! About half of the stuff I've posted was shared in the last three months. And it's all thanks to 4TW. If you think this sounds cool, look them up! They're good eggs and don't support generative AI in creative writing. :)

I've also achieved a few writing firsts as a result of that last point!

This probably doesn't come as a surprise to my writer friends, but I've fully accepted the fact that the first thing I need to do as a writer is write. I have heard that a thousand times before, and I knew it was true on some level, but I would always let my anxiety and perfectionism get the better of me, and overthink myself to a standstill. With the method I've been employing on 4TW, I've had to press forward if I want to beat the clock, which has pushed my ADHD brain into doing what I want it to (part of why 4TW works for me is that it sets little deadlines outside myself. I cannot set my own deadlines, I know the person who drew up that schedule and she's too easily distracted and also likes to have fun too much). With even the low-stakes pressure of beat this guy before time runs out, I've been able to at least get started, and once I've picked up a little momentum, I get excited about my stories again, and we can have days where I write over 6000 words in twelve hours, because I don't want to stop!

I've stopped trying to force my chapters to be a certain length. I let each one be as long as it needs to be, and if that's a couple thousand words longer than the last one, fine! It achieved it's purpose for the story, and I'm not going to cut stuff when it was all important! Besides, I've noticed that each story finds its rhythm if I give it the space it needs, and the chapters end up being close to the same length anyways.

I've been getting bolder and bolder about the stories I write or consider writing! Too often in the past, I've been unsure about whether an idea will work for my audience, but the more times I've let myself be weird on main, and nobody has come out of the woodwork to yell at me for it, the easier it's been to be that little bit more wild with my ideas. And having friends to babble to helps with that too, people who tell me to go for it are super important and I appreciate every one of them!

I've actually written stories inspired by prompts! I'd never really done this before. Being prompted by a post is one thing (love ya, Threshold AU), but actually doing prompts for a challenge? That was always difficult for me. I'd always second-guess myself if I came up with any ideas for a particular prompt set, and then procrastinate on trying for years. But this year, I participated in Dominion Week, and although I've only posted four out of the seven prompt fills, I do have ideas for the other three days and will write them when the tribbles are done filling in any gaps they think should be patched in the AUs said prompt fills are relevant to. :D

Related to the above, I wrote oneshots! That stayed oneshots! And one of them stands completely on its own! That. That has never happened before. I've said several times on this blog that I'm not wired for short stories. I wrote my mother a story for her birthday and it was a backstory event from my Ylonaverse because I couldn't think of an idea that could stand on its own. And then Dominion Week happened, and I started two series of single-chapter stories, and wrote a oneshot that was a thought experiment and won't be a part of any of my currently existing AUs, and I'm still mind-blown that that even happened.

It has been a good writing year for me, in other words, despite its ups and downs.

Oh, and I also have had the capacity to Braille up my stories for a year now, and although I'm a perfectionist about this and want the Braille versions to be just right, because I intend to podfic them, I'm still very glad I can Braille things up at all.

But that was gonna happen anyway. The Brailler and paper were part of last year's birthday present, much as the binding combs and binding machine were part of this year's one. And the discussion of that part of my creative life should have its own post at some point. Probably when I have compiled enough to start actually podficking.

#Trix Chatters #The Year In Review #Writing #Deep Space 9 #Happy Birthday To Me!#I had to recopy and reformat this post because as it turns out #Deleting your saved draft before you've posted your edited version breaks it even though the editor's still open!#My bad...

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celestie0 · 5 months ago

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Hi Ellie, i want to take accountability as an anon for sending one of those types of asks you were referring to, actually it was the last one you responded to. I apologise deeply and I don��t want to be defensive but to be clear, i wasn’t criticising i thought it had become some kind of trend within us to dog on the ex wife character since i remember once you responded to an ask saying something like “i feel sick to my stomach” I just assumed you were in on it but that was a long time ago I should have realised how it would of made you feel along with all the other asks. Apart from that I was only curious and since you were answering other questions I thought it might be okay to ask but I’m sorry for overwhelming you. Oh dear actually I just went back and it would appear that exact ask you were referring to as an example… I sent that as well back then. I’m SO sorry Ellie I didn’t mean it like that, your right about the maturity difference and back then that was just my genuine reaction to the plot line I didn’t mean it in offence to you but that was such a stupid thing to say. But I’m being honest when I say that since then after you responded to that I did understand your point and that it was wrong of me to react that way and with this recent teaser for the story I didn’t care for it like that rather I was excited for the drama and was just spectating other people’s reactions, then I decided to send that ask out of curiosity and I had a gut feeling I should delete that last sentence but I ended up pressing send. For both asks I couldn’t be more sorry, i absolutely love your writing and I admire you so so much you have no idea. I never ever wanted to belittle your authorial choices or make you feel such a way but there’s no excuse because that’s how it was perceived. What came off as entitled was probably intended out of a closeness that I felt to you which is weird anyway, either way I crossed the line and like you said that behaviour did not entail author/reader etiquette. But wallahi (istg) I feel so sorry and I want to kiss you on both cheeks, hold your shoulders and tell you ihm is PERFECT just the way it is. Your stories were experimental for me from the beginning (out of my comfort zone, not the usual type of stories I read) and now they mean SO much to me I have changed so many views and preferences because of that influence and I can’t overstate how much I wholly love everything about your works and also this blog page in general. Im so ashamed that my unthoughfulness has had such an adverse impact on you and if it makes you feel more comfortable I definitely will not interact going forward I will adhere to your boundaries and I assure you every boundary you’ve set has always been with good reason and you have nothing to doubt about yourself. You do not have to feel obligated to respond to this but I hope you can forgive me even if we are strangers I have caused you to feel the complete opposite that I want to make you feel, I’ve only ever wanted to uplift you and make you aware of how truly talented and amazing you are. Im looking forward to everything you have in store for all your stories and to grow and learn and adapt to every turn your writing takes because I know for a fact that it will ultimately be a wonderful experience. Sending all my love, appreciation and apologies if they are acceptable

~ regretful anon

hi love! sorry i won’t be spending time addressing everything in this ask bc i don’t have the capacity but i did read it all the way through n i appreciate you for apologizing!

i’m so happy you enjoy my stories even though they’re out of your comfort zone! that means a lot to me. i see where you’re coming from, and although it’s true those asks were hurtful, i see that you didn’t mean any harmful intentions by it and that’s actually really relieving to hear and has brought me comfort! so thank you for sharing this w me. no hard feelings but yes i think we can absolutely learn from this

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drchenquill · 9 months ago

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WIP questionnaire Tag~

Thank you @mysticstarlightduck for the tag!

I'll take "Him and Me - Bound by Fate"

1. What’s the first part of your WIP that you created?

Before I actually sat down to write it, I daydreamed most of the plot. The very first thing I dreamed about was the relationship dynamic between the two main characters. I think that's always the first thing, regardless of the wip. I figure out the dynamic and kind of write the plot around that.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

I think a classical melody. Something quiet that can sound very eerie in the right setting. I think the Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven might actually fit.

3. What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

I think it would be Kiki. She's the first character Leon meets, and she's the most bubbly and energetic character I've ever written. She's a joy to write, partly because she's the exact opposite of Leon. Where she is loud and easily excitable, he is reserved and holds back a lot. It's a challenge to write such different personalities, but it's also a lot of fun.

4. What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?

I think anything with a broken/reluctant hero as a main character. I don't know anything specific like that, but maybe with some dark tropes.

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

Writing Leon's backstory. It's very difficult and I often struggle. He gets flashes of memory through nightmares and writing those always takes a toll on me. Leon has been in a very bad mental state since he was four, and it is not always easy to portray that.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Actually, I created a special kind of animal for this WIP. They are called Feras, and at first glance they look like normal animals, but they have the magical ability to change into human form, but only when bound to a human. But they keep their animal abilities even when they are human. (Sorry, I suck at explaining lore and worldbuilding, bear with me)

7. How do your characters travel/get around?

Mostly by car. They live in a modern world, so they go by car.

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

I'm currently working on what I like to call "The Revelation". It's the moment when Leon finally sits down with Kilian, who has been hiding a lot from him, and gets the explanation he deserves.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) will you think draw your audience in?

I hope they will be intrigued by the fantasy aspect or the complexity of some of the characters. And if someone's a lover of romance, that's a big part of it, too. Leon learning what it means to be truly cared for, loved, cherished.

Some of the tropes found in it are: Reluctant hero - Fish out of water - Emotional Scars

10. What are your hopes for your WIP?

To make people feel, to make them smile, to make them think. I want the readers to be hooked, to see themselves in my characters, that would be nice.

~~~~

This was very hard~

Tagging with no pressure @theink-stainedfolk @paeliae-occasionally @the-golden-comet @frostedlemonwriter and open tag~

#writing tag game #tag game #tag games #writeblr #writing #writers #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity

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high-guardian-spice-fan · 2 years ago

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The good points of: Sage

Other parts here

Today, I will write about the second main protagonist: Sage.

Sage is... a complexe character to analyse. Not because she has a very deep psychology, but because she’s two very different characters in one. Sage is like doctor Jekyll. Good Sage is an anxious, shy, hard-working, bookworms nerd. Bad Sage is a manipulative, toxic, selfcentred villain. So in the fandom, you can find people who absolutly love Sage because they relate to her a lot and people who just hate her because she reminds them horrible friends. Since I was an anxious nerd in my teenager years AND I had a friend like bad Sage, I have trouble to decide how I feel about her.

So for this post, I will only talk about good Sage. The Sage that the creators want to write most of the time and not the Sage that they write because of a lack of global vision.

As usual, don’t hesitate to go to the creator’s tumblr: @dinoraye

(And if you don’t want to be tagged on all my post Raye, don’t hesitate to tell me in mp)

Her design

Sage’s is pretty simple for this serie. In comparaison with Rosemary’s one, we could call it too simple: only one color, overly simple clothes... But I think it matches well with her personnality. If Rosemary is flamboyant, loud and energetic, Sage is the exact opposite. She’s quite, tries to not attract too much attention, is more of a follower.

So, her simple old-fashioned dress, her big witch hate, her simple boots and her braid tell you everything you need to know about her. And also about the dynamic between her and her friend.

Plus, I really like that her eyes are pink like Rosemary's hair and Rosemray’s eyes are blue like Sage’s hair. It’s a nice touch that express how much this two are close.

But that’s not it. Because Sage has a particularity: her design evolves during the show. And it’s not her clothes like it’s expect, but it’s her haircut.

This design is the original design that Raye Rodriguez made for her. And I must admit that short-hair-Sage is adorable! Plus, it’s a symbol of her evolution. I’m kinda sad that the scene where she cuts her hair isn’t related to her arc (she cuts them for saving Rosemary, and even if it’s cute that she did it for her friend, she never express a lot of attachment toward her hair and saving Rosemary isn’t related to her personnal arc), but at least we understand that short-hair-Sage is more confident (she compliment Snapdragon about his nails without being anxious) and that she finds her own way to do magic (which was her arc).

Bonus point for the fact that when she cuts her hair, it’s not nice right away and Rosemary needs to style it:

It’s a nice little touch to her design and her character.

Her personnality

Like I said, Sage has two very different personnalities. But for the sake of this serie of post, we will talk about Good-Sage.

Sage begins the story as a quite, shy and anxious but who tries to do her best. She brings a nice contrast and breaks with the always enthusiastic Rosemary. With her, we have the time to learn about the universe, its rules and magic. And since she doesn’t take all the spotlight, she’s also a good character for introducing others less difficult like Thyme or Amaryllis.

But she also has the potential to be a guardian. At her first class, professor Caraway explains that they must be brave if they want to be a guardian. And that’s what Sage does: she overcomes her shyness (showned a few moments before) and raises her hand to talk in public.

She also knows she’s not perfect at all and she has a lo to learn. So when she decides to use new magic, she wakes up early to train. It’s admirable.

Her story and her arc

Sage is clearly the character that the creators were the most interested in. Her arc is the main one for half the show, her troubles are way more explored than the other’s and she’s linked to every story unlike Rosemary (who is linked to the rot only because she likes Parsley and Parsley is Thyme’s friend).

Sage is involved in the plot because her arc is about magic. So she has to learn it, which linked her to the school’s stories. So she has to talk about with her relatives, which linked her to the outside school’s stories. So it creates drama because she’s inscured about it, which linked her to the dramatic stories. So she argues with other characters, which linked her to character’s exploration’s stories. And since the ain threat is magic, she’s linked to it actively. Clearly, Sage is the most interesting to follow and - in my opinion - the real main character of the show.

Like I said, Sage as the anxious nerd, is very relatable. Everyone has being insecure during their teenager’s years. And seeing Sage having the same problems and solving it is comforting. She also becomes more confident, more open, more stable. We’re happy for her.

Finally, Sage has a real romance with Snapdragon (sorry Raye, I don’t buy it the “Sage and Rosemary could be the end goal”). And it’s really, really cute! Their flirts and their interactions are well written and it’s pleasant to see them together. Especially when Snapdragon doesn’t really have someone to talk about his feelings since his only friend - Amaryllis - isn’t really good with emotions and all. Same with Rosemary and Sage, as much as Rosemary wants to, she’s unable to quite understand Sage’s troubles with her family since her whole background is family love. They could make a great couple.

She has a full arc, problems, an evolution psychological and physical, has a cute romance and is involved with the plot.

Conclusion

Sage is clearly the character who represents what the creators wanted to do: writting story about growing up. She’s the one who is the most involved and who evolves the most. She’s also the most relatable one because her problems (fear of disappointing her family, not being enough, anxious about not knowing everything and not being able to plan proprely, troubles to adapt to new concept...) can be apply to our own life.

And since she’s the quite one, she lets her scenes breath and we learn as much about other characters as about her in them. She made a great duo with Rosemary to help the audience to feel involved.

What do you think about Sage? Do you like her? If not, why?

#high guardian spice #essay writing #sage #character study #character analysis #good points

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decks-writing-blog · 10 months ago

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The Borealis: Chapter Two: Nothing Could Ever Be Easy

Chapter One

[A/N] I've finished Half-Life: Alyx now and uh… what I learned about how that game affects the canon is that it can't be edited in. But the way I did things is still the best for me. My interest in writing this wouldn't have survived the wait to finish the game and the lack of Alyx being in it also would've damaged my interest in it because she's my fav character and part of the reason I wanted to write this was more of her interacting with Gordon. Also, also, if I'd waited to write this fic, I'd have felt rushed to finish the game and that would've made it less fun. Most important of all though is that I had fun writing this fic. So I'm just gonna let this fic stand as my go at continuing the story laid out in the original games and might have a go at writing a continuation with what Alyx added if the idea seems like it'd be fun. The whole point of fanfic is fun after all, I'll write whatever's fun to me and no one can stop me.

By some miracle nothing disturbed them before they had to land to refuel. Foresight meant they carried their extra fuel with them. While Mori took care of refueling, Gordon patrolled the area with Alyx, going to opposite sides of their landing spot, lest Combine or anything else dangerous be about.

This much further north, it was already much colder and snow blanketed the surrounding sparse landscape in white. His boots crunched all the way to the bottom of the snowdrifts as he walked through them. None of them were too deep right now but the weight of the suit might prove to be a problem later on. Hopefully not but he’d worry about what to do about that if and when the problem raised its head. But at least with the HEV suit’s helmet up, the cold didn’t affect him much; part of Kleiner’s upgrades included making it protect against extreme temperatures too. There were limits on that of course and the power would still drain faster in said extreme temperatures but there were plenty of batteries packed in with the rest of what they’d been provided with so it shouldn’t be an issue. Or hopefully it wouldn’t anyway as the universal rule of if something could go wrong, it would eventually, still stood.

For now though, things continued to go well. Far too well as the longer nothing happened, the more the weight of its potential weighed on Gordon. After refueling, they ate, took turns stretching their legs and whatnot, before Mori took a necessary nap. Leaving Gordon and Alyx to continue to stand guard, ready for anything as nothing continued to come at them.

Where were the Combine? They should’ve been after them. … Perhaps, unable to track their exact path, they were instead sending their forces to block them in the arctic. Or perhaps they were focusing on finding the Borealis first. If they had Mossman, sucking her brains would make it easy. Damn it! They really didn’t have time to spare. They had to leave as soon as Mori was rested enough to not be at risk of crashing.

A hand shaking his shoulder had Gordon snapping awake and reaching for whatever gun was closest to hand. Before he could raise it though, he stopped; it was Alyx.

“Sorry to disturb your beauty rest but we’ve been spotted so uh… time to rise and shine,” she said, her voice crackling over the headset.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself the rest of the way, Gordon shifted to sit up a little straighter, giving himself a better look around. Through the side windows swirling snow and clouds could be seen, only partially obscuring the Combine’s gunships hovering around them.

“Radar says there’s six of them and they’re closing in,” Mori said, their voice betraying their fear. “What do I…” They cut of with a yelp as the whole helicopter jerked and shuddered as the Combine ships presumably opened fire.

Gordon had regretfully buckled in this time, meaning he wasted valuable time fumbling to undo it so he could get up and do… something. What, he’d figure out when he got there. Before he could though… another shudder and then the sound of the rotors, normally a constant even through the headset meant to protect against it, ground to a halt. And just like that, they were falling. Not a clean fall either but spinning around like a hellish teacup ride.

“This is bad,” Alyx said, gripping the sides of her chair. What else was there to say in such a situation?

Damn it. There wasn’t anything Gordon could do to stop it even if he knew the first thing about pulling out of a death spiral. If they were over the arctic land, going down might be a good thing if they could survive it as they might be discounted as dead, thus making it easier to reach their destination without further incident. If they were over the ocean though, they were as good as gone already.

Their spin came to an abrupt, jerking halt as they hit something solid. Ah, over land then, that was good. And they’d landed upright, only at a slight angle. Things could’ve been worse.

“Major fracture detected. Morphine administered,” chimed the HEV suit’s robotic voice, just barely audible over the ringing in Gordon’s ears. The jerk of the crash had knocked the headset off. “Seek medical assistance.”

Which of the blaring pains in his body was the ‘major fracture’ or if there was more than one was impossible to guess but it didn’t matter anyway as the morphine hit, dulling all of it. The drug also calmed his racing heart, making it easier to breath even with the tightness in his chest that indicated broken ribs. No sharp pain or coughing of blood indicating any had pierced his lungs though. He could survive this.

Lifting his head, he turned to look at Alyx, sitting across from him. She hung limp in the straps of her seat belt’s harness. Blood trickled out of the side of her mouth… not a good sign. Mori was silent up front too, also not good. Damn it all.

It’d be easier to just go ahead and reset but… Gordon’s hands fumbled at his harness. It took several tries to get it undone, during which Alyx didn’t move even a little. As soon as he was free, he crawled over sit next to to her. Reaching out a hand, he cupped her face, lifting her head.

Her eyes fluttered open. Alive… for now. “Gordon?” Her voice was weak. “Are you okay?”

He nodded even though it wasn’t true. His right leg hadn’t quite obeyed him when he’d moved over here. With enough healing goo that could be fixed but they were limited on that so he should indeed just reset. Not while she was looking at him though.

“What happened?”

Not wanting to let go of her face as his hand seemed to be the only thing keeping her head held up, he lifted his other hand to spell, “Crash.”

She blinked at it, seemingly not comprehending. “I can’t feel my feet. That’s… bad, right?” … Damn it. Well, hopefully that at least meant she wasn’t in much pain. “We’re… kinda fucked, aren’t we? We… we failed.”

“No. We’ll be okay. Wait here.” If she was indeed out of it enough that she couldn’t understand his signing didn’t matter. Before pulling away, he leaned forward to give her a gentle kiss on the forehead; a promise that she’d be okay even if he had to break the rules of time to ensure it. He then carefully he lowered her head back to her chest.

His pistol was still attached to the leg of his suit. After a quick examination, it looked to still be intact and functional. He then crawled over to the door on the side of the helicopter that was titled upwards. Because of that, it was also relatively undamaged, allowing him to open it with little issue.

The cold and snow rushed in as he pulled himself out into it. There wasn’t anything to see. It was all white swirling snow; a blizzard. Or perhaps for this part of the world, just normal snow. Regardless, he crawled all the way out into it before grabbing his pistol and lifting it to his head. An hour before now would hopefully be far enough back to prevent this.

As always whenever he reset back to a time he’d been asleep for initially, it woke him. Such made it feel almost like a nightmare, an unpleasant and horribly vivid one but less real nonetheless.

Around him, the helicopter was intact once more. The view through the windows, nothing but snow and clouds, the loud whir of the rotors, audible even through the headset. Across from him, Alyx was looking a bit bored but was blessedly fine. They were safe and in the clear. It wouldn’t last much longer but for how long it had, it was a wondrous boon.

No time to luxuriate in it any more, Gordon waved a hand, catching Alyx’s attention. “Oh, you’re awake. Good morning. Or I guess it’s not morning. I uh… don’t actually know what time it is, the sun’s not visible right now and I don’t think it even sets this far north anyway, right? Or was that down south? I don’t know. But you know what I mean. I hope you had a nice nap.”

“Thank you.” I had been the second nicest nap he’d ever had, bested only by the nap he’d had on the first leg of this journey. “Tell Mori to fly lower. There are Combine nearby.”

“Yeah, we know. But if if we fly too low, any ground forces they have will see us. We’re hoping the snow storm will shield us from whatever air patrols they might have.”

“Makes sense.” And that’s part of why having her as a companion was such a great boon. She knew a lot more about this stuff than he did. “We need to change course though, take a less direct root.”

“Hmm… Mori,” she said, switching her headset to include them in the conversation. “Gordon wants us to change course.”

“Um… well,” they replied, “Dr. Freeman, I’m sure you know what you’re talking about but… we only have so much fuel. With what we have now, we’ll barely be able to reach Mossman’s base camp. So uh… are you sure?”

“Land a distance away. We’ll walk.” Fighting the gunships on the ground was hard enough, while also flying and thus being vulnerable to being shot down too, would be much harder. Him shooting down every ship chasing them before they were shot down would be nigh on impossible. With enough tries and a lot of luck, it was technically doable but he didn’t fancy dying a hundred plus times in a row if he could help it. “Change course, please. Trust me.”

Alyx frowned at him. “Is this another one of those things like with the Advisors? Where you just know something somehow?”

The number of times his reset power had come into play in what he suggested they do was starting to add up. In fact, now that he thought about it, the only time he ever made a suggestion about what they should do was to avoid or better prepare for something one or both of them had died to. Having grown up with the world overrun by Combine, Alyx was more competent than him in navigating it. Following her lead was often the wisest course of action. The only time it wasn’t was when he knew something she didn’t thanks to time resetting upon his death.

He could try to explain away all his suggestions as instinct; he was good at fighting the Combine so he had a good sense on where they were and what kind of forces they would send. But that was bullshit, he had no idea what he was doing. He was good at faking it and to a certain degree had to be; so many people looked up to him, he couldn’t let them down. Alyx was smart though, at least as smart as Eli, if not smarter. With how long they’d been traveling together, there was no way she hadn’t noticed a pattern to when he insisted they change direction or when to prepare for an ambush. He owed it to her to at least acknowledge that much.

“Yes. If we continue as we are we’ll get shot down.”

“Okay. I trust you. Mori, Gordon’s sure. He says we’ll get shot down if we don’t change course.”

“Roger that. Changing course now. I’ll try to skirt around, take a less direct route.”

Alyx fiddled with the headset to speak just to Gordon again. “Do you care to explain more about how you know things sometimes?”

No, Gordon didn’t. And so he folded his hands on his lap.

“Because if you have some kind of Combine wire in your head telling you where their forces are, that’d be real nice to know. Especially if the reason you haven’t told anyone about it is because they can track you through it or whatever. If that is the case, I won’t tell anyone, I promise but that is information, I’d like to have. You know, since I’m here with you, trying to save the world and all.”

“They can’t track us.”

“All right, good to know. But you didn’t say it wasn’t a wire. So… is it?”

Gordon put his hands back in his lap. Perhaps it’d be wise to lie and say that that was it but… he’d never liked lying, especially not to people he cared about. So he just wasn’t going to answer. Let her assume whatever she wanted about what that meant.

With nothing ever being as simple or easy as one hoped, even with the end of their journey practically in sight, they were of course found and shot down several more times. A couple of them were death on impact for Gordon, far more often such was the case for just Alyx and/or Mori. After the third such instance, Gordon started shooting himself as soon as they began free falling. He had to be quick about it so Alyx wouldn’t see him lift the pistol but the chaos of the spin kept her well distracted. Still closer than he’d like but the time and heartache it saved was worth it.

He tried a few times to fight back by opening one of the doors and firing rockets out of it, far easier said than done. He did manage to bring down a couple though but never more than two before the rest brought them down too. If the helicopter had been equipped for combat it might’ve been different story but to lighten its load, extending how far it could bring them, the resistance had dismounted the gun that had once been on it to use elsewhere. Leaving him with not many options.

He had to trail and error his way into redirecting their route. He must’ve come off as insane and weird, paranoid to a fault, but both Alyx and Mori trusted him more than was likely wise. He was grateful for that though as it got them closer and closer to Mossman’s base each time without being shot down. It no doubt confirmed Alyx’s suspicions that something wasn’t normal about him too. Not ideal but better than dying over and over any more than he was already.

Eventually, finally, instead of crash landing, they came to a much more gentle stop as, their fuel supply too low to risk continuing, they landed. Technically Gordon was still fresh off a long nap. Physically he still felt that. Mentally though… not so much. It wasn’t the most often he’d died in a row, that honor still went to the Nihilanth, but it was up there for sure and the longest streak of killing himself over and over. Gunships continued to be the worst.

But as nice as it would’ve been to curl up and cry about it or scream until his throat bled, there wasn’t time. They had a mission to get to as soon as possible.

They loaded up their supplies in packs and a sled which Gordon naturally took charge of. The HEV suit enhancement to his strength wasn’t immense but it wasn’t nothing.

“We’re several miles away from Mossman’s base camp,” Alyx said as they got ready to head out. “A kinda long hike but I’m sure we can manage. Maybe anyway, you gonna be okay in that suit? It’s gotta be heavy so if we hit ice or something, it might be bad. Maybe you wanna…” She trailed off.

“Don’t worry about it.” Gordon wasn’t taking it off. It couldn’t protect him from everything but it could do a lot. His death count would likely be more than double without it. So there was almost no force in the world that could convince him to take it off.

“Okay. Let’s get moving then, I guess.”

The snow storm had blessedly mostly died down, leaving the air around them as they walked clear and a bit too bright. There wasn’t anything around them to see other than barren snowy tundra. The arctic was so far proving to not be as interesting as it had been in theory. At least that also meant they weren’t being harried by Combine though; Gordon had got them clear of that for a little bit longer.

They walked in silence for a while, Mori leading the way with their navigation equipment. The fast pace they set was welcome, allowing Gordon to focus on moving, helping ease the stress of death and suicide. Being given room to think wasn’t a fun activity these days, the less he did it, the better.

Alyx walked right beside him, wrapped up in cold weather gear that covered her face. “Is it because of the briefcase guy?” She asked about an hour into the walk, speaking just low enough that Mori shouldn’t be able to hear it.

Gordon turned his head to look at her.

“The guy who put you in stasis. Does he tell you things somehow? Like… there are two Advisors on the hanger roof or where to go to avoid running into Combine air patrols.”

“No.” Or at least Gordon was pretty sure the ‘briefcase guy’ had nothing to do with it. When first officially meeting him, it had seemed he might. But after declining his offer for employment and dying as a result, Gordon had reset back in the tram car hurtling through empty space. If the guy was aware anything had happened, he hadn’t indicated it. Which didn’t mean he wasn’t aware of it or even that he wasn’t responsible but if the latter in particular was the case, he’d have surely said something, right? So Gordon’s hypothesis that it was related to his having been in the middle of the resonance cascade as it happened stood, especially since he hadn’t been able to reset to before it.

“Damn. I thought I was onto something.”

Gordon shrugged, turning his gaze back on the path ahead.

“I don’t see why you can’t tell me. I mean like we’re partners, right? So why don’t you trust me enough to let me know how you sometimes just randomly know where the Combine are?”

She had a point, especially since Gordon had basically admitted he did have supernatural knowledge on the Combine’s troops. But… he didn’t want to talk or even think about it if he didn’t have to. Especially since, if he told her right now, so soon after killing himself so many times, he’d likely break down about it. They didn’t have time for that and she was depending on him to be strong. So he just didn’t answer.

They had to duck and hide to avoid potentially being spotted by a patrolling Combine airship three times before they crested a hill that put them in sight of Mossman’s base camp. Even from a distance it was impossible to miss the fact that the patrols guarding the area were Combine. Damn. Nothing could ever be easy, could it?

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#Half life #gordon freeman #alyx vance

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