#me while slamming my hands on the table: more angsty vulcans!! more!

[ghostwise]

Fire of fire, follow me now, as I favor the ghost Follow me now, or follow me down Why does it have to be so hard?

Unnamed Vulcan OC, because who doesn’t love angsty Vulcans? During a routine mission she fell into a temporal anomaly and lived several years in pre-Reform Vulcan society before managing to get back to her own time. I’m thinking of naming her Zolin, Xirau, or Tepin.

[labyrinthof-fan-fiction]

Two Ships Passing in the Night {5}

Part 5

Series Masterlist

Spock x fem!Reader then Bones x fem!Reader

AOS

Summary: Spock has been thinking, Leonard has been seething, and unfortunately, they are on the same ship.

A/N: Hello, I reread the beginning of this and realized that I had some deeeeeeep plot holes, so now I am going to try to remedy them and create a cohesive plot….. While emphasizing some angst, and feelings…. If you’re still reading this, you’re a great being and deserve all the best things. So here’s some flashbacks and moods to tape this together. Also, just needed some angsty boys.

Warnings: Language.

Word Count: 2,069

Spock found himself inside your hospital room, he felt that he owed you explanations. Even though you were leaving the Enterprise for your own ship. You deserved closure from him, that much had been conveyed by Prime.

“I plan to stay on board the Enterprise. Prime, intends to remain with New Vulcan and aid in the growth of the community.” Spock said, direct, to the point. “Uhura and I have grown closer, we are going to see where this goes.”

“I see.” You murmured quietly, glancing up as Dr. Ambrose came into the room.

“Well, you and the child’s vitals look good. At the moment I do not see any complications due to the Vulcan genetics. I think that’s in part….” She stopped when she saw Spock sitting next to your bed. “Hello.” She murmured, raising an eyebrow in your direction.

You sat stiffly in bed watching Spock process what he had heard. The doctor continued speaking when you tilted your head, at this point there wasn’t a reason to stop her. The cat was out of the bag. Spock remained quiet while you continued your conversation with the doctor.

Spock could feel his mind racing with the information he now had. You were pregnant, with his child. A child who could be integral to the future of his home world. To the Vulcan race. The potential was so great, but the child would only be a fourth Vulcan. He remembered the distain he had been exposed to as a child by being half Vulcan. Did he want to expose a child to this? Perhaps there would be a shift in the culture due to the current circumstance? His mind continued to jump through hoops. Then he heard the sound of someone else at the door.

His glanced over to see Dr. McCoy at the door in his medical blues. Intense eyes staring directly at you in the bed, his focus kept him from even noticing Spock in the room. There was a look in his eyes that Spock knew he could never give you. It was completely illogical, but Spock knew he had to step away from the situation, because while he cared about you and the child. Leonard McCoy would care for both of you in ways he never could. The child would know love, be cared for, in ways he had never been. He would never give up his Vulcan life, the way he was raised, but he would not choose it for another who was not fully Vulcan.

He glanced at you, confusion evident in your eyes. He had remained silent through all the doctor had said. Most men would have an emotional response to the news of becoming a father, he was not most men. The best option for all involved, would be for him to remove himself. He stood from the chair, making short eye contact with McCoy, “Doctor.” He greeted, turning back to you. “Congratulations again, Captain.” He murmured, turning on his heel and leaving the hospital room. The last thing he heard was you telling McCoy that you had not told him. His eyebrow raised, while it wasn’t a total lie, but it was a lie by omission. Spock didn’t know much about your relationship with the Doctor, but he knew you didn’t lie to him.

Nyota found him meditating in his room that evening. He could feel her hovering in the doorway as he concentrated on his breathing.

“Spock, do you want to talk about it?” She asked quietly coming to sit at his side.

He remained silent for a moment as he considered his words. “She’s pregnant and the child is mine. I would not have known if the doctor had not revealed it to me. If you were her, would you hate me?”

She sighed and turned to look into his eyes. “I don’t think there is a single ounce of hatred in even her little finger. I imagine she is hurting, confused, maybe even a bit scared. But I doubt that she hates you.”

“Do you think the child…..would they hate me, as a father?” He gazed down at his hands.

She bit her lip. “Children love their parents, it’s what their parents do through their lifetime that determines how that love grows.”

Spock nodded at her statement, “Would I be a good father?”

Nyota reached out and rested her hand on the nape of his neck. “I believe that you have the potential for greatness in anything you do, even as a father.”

Would I be a better father than Leonard McCoy? He wondered as she pulled him into an embrace.

Being aboard the Enterprise was relatively the same as it always had been for Spock. Jim inevitably lead them into some kind of minor peril, against the logical path, and was lectured by the doctor when he was injured. Spock could not navigate the new relationship he had with Dr. McCoy. He was used to the man’s casual distain for his existence. But now it was personal and both men knew why. Logically, Spock should have found a way to relieve the tension and turmoil between himself and the doctor. Perhaps informing the Captain of the tension between the members of the Enterprise should have been a priority for the first mate. But unfortunately, Spock let his emotions dictate this matter, which is what lead to the incident.

Leonard was having a bad day, a horrible day, possibly the worst day of his miserable existence. Jim had decided to jump headfirst into an unexplored planet that had lifeforms, very angry, territorial lifeforms, causing Leonard to barely have a few seconds of rest. Once he was sure that the crew members were stable he made his way into his office for a short break. He pulled up his PADD hoping for an update from Ambrose, but the messages were blank.

“No news is good news.” He murmured to himself, setting the PADD on his desk. “We’re in the middle of unknown space, it might still be transmitting.” His fingers tapped nervously on the desk. He knew that with the current timeline you would be getting important news about the baby’s growth, potential genetic anomalies, the sex. And he wasn’t there, and the father wasn’t there. He let out a frustrated huff of air and glanced up at the form that darkened his doorway. “Jim you have already given me more than enough work today, what the hell do you want?”

Spock stepped into the light, “I’m afraid I’m not the captain, doctor.”

“And I repeat, what the hell do you want?” Leonard asked, letting the venom leak into his voice.

“I was hoping that we could have a discussion.” Spock said, tilting his head towards the chair across from the doctor’s.

Leonard reluctantly gestured to the chair. “Did I use to many bandages after the away mission?” He grumbled.

Spock gritted his teeth, this was not going to be an easy discussion. “I’m here to talk to you about the mother of my child.”

Leonard’s eyes flicked with an emotion that Spock could not read. “And why are you talking to me about this?”

“I think we both know why.” Spock answered.

“So she decided to tell you?” Leonard asked, glancing down at his PADD, which still remained dark.

“Not exactly.” Spock answered, the doctor raised his eyebrow in a question. “The doctor revealed it in front of me when I visited her before the mission.”

“So you’ve known all this time,” Leonard started, hurt rising in his chest. You had lied to him, that day, you had lied to his face. “And you haven’t done a damn thing for her.”

Spock prepared his words carefully. “I know it is no secret to either of us that if she had her way I would not be aware of the child’s existence. I hardly believe she wants me involved.”

Leonard’s hand slammed down on his desk. “You are just as responsible for that child as she is, and whether she wants you involved or not, you should have offered something. You just left her. You fucked her, got her pregnant, and you left. You knew and you walked away.” Leonard’s voice began rising in volume. “She loved you and you just walked out. I was there after you left and dammit I saw her heart break.”

“And she loves you more than she could ever love me.” Spock snapped quickly.

The doctor paused in his rant, confusion in his eyes. “You expect me to take anything you say to heart, you’re basically a walking computer program.”He scoffed, but he could feel that thought taking hold in the back of his mind.

Spock sighed, he knew that reasoning would not work with the doctor, particularly in his current state. And he would never admit it, but he could feel something boiling in his stomach as the conversation continued.

Leonard’s PADD lit, breaking the tension between the men. His fingers flitted across the screen, eyes softening. Spock could feel he was overstaying his welcome as the doctor continued to furiously scan the PADD screen. He rose from the chair, stopping in the doorway as he heard the doctor call after him. “For what it’s worth, it’s a boy.”

Spock’s shoulders relaxed and he turned back to the man at the desk for a moment, his eyes meeting his. “Thank you.”

“I’m not doing this for you.” The doctor answered, going back to the PADD. Spock nodded and exited the room. He knew that he and the doctor’s relationship was far from friendship, but he was fairly certain that the doctor was not going to punch him the next time he walked into the medical quarters. He wandered through the halls until he made it to his quarters, he picked up his PADD from his bedside table.

“I’m having a son.” He murmured, a small smile tugging at his lips. His mind wandered to thoughts of his mother, she would be excited to be a grandparent. Maybe not proud of how the child came to be, but she would love the child, like she loved him. He felt a tear roll down his cheek as he began to type his message to you.

I owe you an explanation for my actions. I know that I did not react to the news that was revealed to me, without your consent. I know that I will have a child in this world in a few months. I am responsible for them coming into this universe.

I have spent much time these past few weeks reflecting on my time with my mother. She was kind and I know without a doubt that she loved me, and I her. The human emotion of love is one that for years I repressed to be more like my father and his world, only to learn that he too felt love in his own way, in his own expression. As a child I did not understand this expression, only that of my mother. It is through her expression that I know the kind of mother you will be. You will be strong, you will be kind, caring, and above all, loving.

The life of this child will be better without me in it. The universe does not require more of me, it requires more of you. You are good, you are kind, you are caring. You are everything that I am not. This child will grow into a good and just person because you care for them. I ask you to raise them as you were. If they ever know me is not important, it is important that they know you. If either of you require anything, know that I will do what I can in my power to be sure you have it. If you require anything of me to provide for raising the child, you will have it. But you will not have me. The responsibility of their livelihood does not solely rest upon your shoulders, I played an equal part.

I cannot offer them care or kindness, only logic. Logic does not make a parent, love does. I fear I am incapable of the love that is required to be a parent. But you are not, nor is he. And he loves you more than I ever could.

Live long and prosper.

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