#me when i take 20mg adderall xr and instead of doing something fucking useful i spend eleven fucking hours

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i am having way way way way way way too much fun with this bot

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Dose of Reality (2): Dimensions, Perceptions, Psychedelic Experiences - AL-LAD

AL-LAD We say the spontaneous nights are more often than not better than planned ones and, well, in this instance I must agree. By the way - I don't endorse mixing alcohol and psychedelics as me and an old friend had pretty intensely difficult experiences after sharing a bottle of rum and dropping AL-LAD previously. But what happened this time BLEW ME AWAY, and I wish to let others know about the potential depths of what is considered quite a light, candy, surface drug. I finished work at 8PM, went back to my house to sink a few ciders (two) before meeting up with my co-worker and going to a party. At 11pm, just before I left, I was feeling lethargic and wasn't sure If I would last the night through, so as a precautionary measure I took 2 20mg adderall XR. 11:00pm - 40mg of amphetamine and dextroamphetamine extended-release. Over the course of 3 hours, at varying locales, I drank one more cider, three beers and some spirits. Eventually getting thrown out of the house we were at, around 1:45am, me and my co-worker decided we weren't ready to call it a night just yet. At this point, I must have been pretty drunk but the adderall was keeping me from experiencing all the physical effects of the alcohol. I suggested we go back to her place and smoke some weed - she lived too far away to walk, 2 hours. Okay then, back to mine for some AL-LAD. ( FYI, she had drank less than me - more or less.) 

We walked back to my place from Echo Park which took about 20-25 minutes. I opened up about my life dividing LSD experience and he opens up about a very influential MDMA experience. She happens to be Italian and her English wasn't much fluent - but nevertheless I was understanding of everything she was saying, potentially due to the adderall (although I imagine most of the effects would have worn off by this point). 2:25am - 300µg AL-LAD. We arrive at mine about 2:25 and we each drop 300ugs each of AL-LAD almost instantly. I play her some music I wrote about for the website I work for; she loves it and tells me its very emotional. Good vibes. She asks for some tobacco to roll with, but I haven't got enough to share all night - WAIT, I HAVE THESE CIGARS! I give them two full boxes of shitty cheap Berlin cigars flavored cherry and chocolate (that I wouldn't ever have smoked). She loves it. We lie on my bed waiting for the drugs to kick in, smoking. For my birthday my Mom got me a plastic pint glass with three LED lights in the base that flash at different iterations - very suited, very appropriate. I put it on a constant setting, so it isn't intrusive, and it casts a green/red/purple/orange/yellow/blue swirl that sprawls over my wall and ceiling. Perfect. And eventually……. …...I BECAME THE UNIVERSE. About an hour after dropping I started looping pretty intensely, so much that I wasn't aware of it happening until I'd recognize that I'd experienced this mental/visual loop previously. The next sign of diving into the depths was music. I became the music - as in I forgot music was even playing. It was as if songs were arguing with themselves. For example, the bass line would be putting forward X hypothesis, the drums Y, the vocals Z and the treble A. And I'd flit from each distinct song element vibration exploring all the different points of view. This occurred until the song ended and I snapped out of it and realized what the fuck had happened- WHAT?!?! WHAT?!!?!?!?. This happened for every single song I listened to. Visual+physical+mental perception of the sonic stimuli (potentially synthesis). At some point, my co worker asks for a pen and paper and writes something down telling me to read it tomorrow. I oblige. After I'd become aware of this process repeating for every song, I let go and joined in. This is the part where things went deeper than I imagine ally from ever going. I decided to put on one of my favorite albums, Fugazi's 'Red Medicine' and belt it out as loud as I could whilst I melted on my bed. Slowly but surely as I sung it, I became less and less aware of anything but the music and my 'self' - except all that 'I' was at this point was a vibration. The only thing that told me that I existed was that I could feel myself vibrating. I was a literal vibration in what was the entire universe - the primal energy, the initial vibration in the mid of God which is all of us and all of existence. I reverted back to the most base 'form', a constant that exists everywhere in reality - vibration (insert Bill Hicks quote about all matter being energy reduced to a slow vibration etc etc.) Needless to say, this was absolute ineffable ecstasy. After becoming aware of my existence as just a vibration at that moment I embraced it even more and allowed myself to join the 'vibratory conversation' that the songs were having. I sung even louder. As I sung I realized that I was singing almost too perfectly in time. I was not dragging or rushing. I slowly realized that I was creating the song - as I was singing it into existence. This sent me into more fits on ineffable ecstasy. Perceiving/creating being the selfsame process. As if that wasn't enough, I started thinking about vibrations and which potential Hz-Khz vibration I was resonating at. This led me to contemplate numbers, then binary, then coding. All of a sudden I was being shown a vision of our earthly reality and behind its initial form (what we see and feel) there lied a sort of computer code (I don't know if it was similar to the matrix code, or if it was indeed computer code - I only made the connection afterwards). The code became more and more prominent until everything was embossed and had this code projected over it. Suddenly it all broke apart, dissipated, was erased. I experienced the perception that everyone and everything I love and are ever going to love is fleeting and potentially code in a cosmic fucking computer that we agreed to build and experience. My mom, my co-worker, my fucking phone (the phone being both literal code and cosmic code). Every thought that my mom was ever going to have was just code. (I am aware that this i not a new or novel theory- I discovered the idea many moons ago. This is different as I ACTUALLY EXPERIENCED IT AS REALITY, not just as an idea.) MY MOM IS JUST CODE?! BUT THAT MEANS ME TOO. GOT I LOVE THAT FUCKING PIECE OF CODE. GOD I LOVE LIFE. GOD THIS CODE IS FUCKING AMAZING. I'M GONNA USE THIS PIECE OF CODE (my phone) TO TELL ANOTHER PIECE OF CODE (my best friend) THAT I (code) LOVE (code) HER (code). GOD (code). INEFFABLE FLEETING CODED FUCKING ECSTASY. I was still creating/singing the song as I experienced all this. As the last few bars of 'Back to Base' sounded I snapped out of whatever that fucking was and turned off the music when it finished… WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED. Woah wait,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that was ALLYLYSERGAMIDE????!!! WHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT. 

I sit up, turn to my mate and she utters: 'Wow. W-O-W.' 'What the fuck just happened, dude?' 'I don't know. I've never experienced something like that before.' I asked her if she could explain what she experienced in Italian, instead of English as it would be easier for her, but she couldn't. I sit on my bed attempting to wrap my head around what was left of my integrating mind at that point, stunned, glowing. We chill on my bed a bit longer, listening to some Jesus and Mary Chain as the drugs wind down. She leaves around 7:30am. Now that she was gone I find what she had written down: 'Man Bites' I eventually sleep, and wake up about 11:00am. Receive an email from my Mom - I burst into tears reading it. Nothing overly emotional about what she said, just love. AL-LAD; your hidden depths are more fun, and as deep, than any other depths I've experienced through psychedelics. 

-Jesse Boredom *For the record, I DO NOT CONDONE DRUG USE. Everyone reacts differently to mind altering substances. If you have a bad feeling about what you are about to take I strongly recommend just walking away. Be safe, be aware and please take care of each other.”