#me when i don't shut up
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hi hello howdy ◡̈
hihihi simblr!! ⋆⭒˚.⋆
it's been a Minute! but i'm back, and thought i'd do a little introduction post! :D
my name is maddie (she/her), i'm 22, and have been playing the sims franchise for approx. 12-13 years (wOw)! currently! i'm coming back from a 3-4 year break from playing out of ⋆⭒˚.⋆nostalgia⋆⭒˚.⋆ and an escape from real life (boo job market boo)!
i Actually had a cute lil simblr five-ish years ago but genuinely cannot remember the name of it nor can i find it — so starting out fresh again it is ^-^ on the other hand! i've had a somewhat active cc finder blog that i've been running for a while which is where i reblog a lot of items/mods i like, and most of the time, use!
i don't have any solid confirmed plan on how i plan to use this simblr but i think that's almost.. the best? way? to head into it! i didn't realize how much the game has updated in the time i've been gone (infants since when?!??), and am just really enjoying playing through new things!
⋆⭒˚.⋆currently⋆⭒˚.⋆ i'm playing with a super new generations-type family to have fun with the growing together pack! AND!! i'm working on making sims for a save file in the works!! so what i can tell you to expect are some cas screenies of some cuties that i'm working on!
anyways! long intro post short — i'm supersupersuper excited to be back to interact with the simblr community and hope to get to know some of you!! ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶
#the sims 4#simblr#new simblr#ts4 simblr#ts4#ts4 simmer#me when i don't shut up#also: legacy challenge incoming?#hmmm#lots to think abt!
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she would've told them unlike her canon! version who decided not to be an ally smh
#one piece#trans!sanji#sanji#kiku#yamato#ワンピース#I'm practicing my japanese shhhhhh#(日本語のペラペラ人:俺は文法とか書く方とか間違ったら教えてください😅ありがとうございます)#translation:#Yamato: I'll be able to get as strong as Oden?#Sanji: Probably... 🤔#[meanwhile Kiku is remembering the time in the hot spring]#(Sanji: Nami-chan!!!)#(Nami: Shut up!! The women's bath is supposed to be a peaceful place!)#Kiku: I am also ⚧️ ... o.o#(y'all english speakers had me all to yourselves for a decade it's about time I start to also sometimes make stuff in my next language lol#notably for media *from* that language#same as it made sense to make fan content in english for [american superhero franchise we don't talk abt anymore] back in the day#(happy seasonal reminder that Ren Is Not A Native English Speaker and This Is My 5th Language hi 😅))#while looking up reference for this I learnt that the straps to tie back the kimono sleeves are called tasuki#also I decided yamato get big muscles cause he got them kaido genes in im (I also gave him his dad's young-man-facial hair)#the more I do transition projections for one piece characters while tryna adhere to the style the more I learn that sometimes stylisation#uses bones less as literal determinants for where things go and just kinda exaggerates shapes based on vibes alone instead#meaning trans characters' bones wouldn't literally stay looking the same in that stylisation in the way they do irl#they'd get exaggerated differently based on what the surrounding stuff is doing#I still think oda's transition demonstration when we first met iva was unreasonable even with that in mind tho
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💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖
For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!
The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^
What's been added to the 3.5 version?
📺 Streamer Mode!
I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.
Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh
This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!
⚙️ Custom Pronouns!
It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;
Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!
💗 Choose how others perceive you!
You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.
For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!
📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!
You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3
Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!
I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;
I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao
📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!
You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!
Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!
I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;
It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)
🖤 Additional Scenes Update!
Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!
If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.
After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga
🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!
I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!
I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.
Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.
How to download and play the update?
(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!
Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)
Enjoy!!
#14 days with you#14dwy#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — updates.#🖤 — spoilers.#I'm not gonna say much about my current doxxing situation because I've got it under control now + it's being handled privately#Plus I don't wanna give it/the people involved any unnecessary attention. I just wanna announce the update and Get Back To It™️#(''it'' bein the grind 💪 It never stops lmao /silly)#OG followers will also know that these topics aren't the vibe I normally have on this blog (or any of my accounts); so I don't think I'll—#—make ANOTHER public post about the situation and bring more attention to it (when I just want everything to be over and put to rest ^^;)#However I also don't want people to think that I'm... ignoring?? the situation entirely (because gettin doxxed is a very endangering thing)#So I DO want to quickly acknowledge it here and say that it's all currently handled + I'm safe and okay + this won't stop me from—#—continuing to work on 14DWY (and other future projects). I also don't want to give these awful people more power and incentive to continue#—this kind of pathetic behaviour; so the less attention and encouragement being shown will ultimately be better in the long run :3#Aaaaaanways!! 😮💨#My other accounts will be restored shortly and my askbox will be opened once I feel comfortable. I'll get around to following folks—#—again in my own time; so please don't feel offended if I unfollowed you during a moment of vulnerability and anxiety!!#This is all EXTREMELY overwhelming and scary for someone with SAD/AvPD; and I /gen can't handle seeing it all over my timeline ;v;#Sorry this got ranty and personal again hjdsgjsdh T_T I said I wouldn't say much; so I'll shut up now hehe#🖤 — shut up sai.
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I love how people's response to critiques about the companions not noticing or being supportive of Rook's mental health is "you're too stupid" and "you don't understand the game like I do" and "here's my headcanon why you're wrong."
Why are y'all doing all the heavy lifting for the writing and then giving all the credits to the writing.
"Emmrich is taking you to the graveyard to help with Varric's death."
WHERE IN THE TEXT DOES IT SAY THAT. Does Emmrich even know how close Rook was to Varric? That's a nice headcanon to infer, and it would make a LOT of sense. But this is literally the "tell don't show" game, where they tell you everything three times, unless it has to do with Rook's mental health, and then it's suddenly secretly an understated genius story that I just don't understand because I'm too stupid? Okay?
No, it's once again the framework of something great that is ultimately unfinished and underutilized and a lot of people are doing the heavy-lifting for the plot and seeing their heavy-lifted headcanons propelled across the fandom, and then thinking that's just what the text says. When it does not.
I do think this is also a result of the later half of the 2nd act and all of the 3rd act being really good. Like, the later parts of this game are so good that it has me doubting my sanity about the first parts, but then I replay it and go "lol no it was bad."
#i don't appreciate people basically acting like everyone who has issues with the writing are somehow missing something special and crucial#it's extremely fucking rude#like no the “subtlety” of Rook's mental health is that it's not written at all in the first two acts and then given 1 short scene in the#third act. that's not subtlety that's doing NOTHING WITH THE MATERIAL YOU HAVE#they could have DONE SO MUCH WITH THAT PLOT#it actually makes me want to cry because you know the last game i played with this kind of plot????? FUCKING OMORI#OMORI IS THE LAST GAME I PLAYED LIKE THIS#I WAS EXPECTING OMORI LEVELS OF DIVING INTO HALLUCINATIONS#I was FULLY ready for Rook to have psychosis!!!!!!!!!#what I got was such a slap to the fucking face#We could have had MORE hallucinations#Solas's blood magic could have started degrading Rook's mental health and faculties#the fucKING CARETAKER MIGHT HAVE BECOME ACTUALLY RELEVANT#datv critical#do i sound angry. ok i cant lie i'm a little angry. i hate it when ppl make me doubt my sanity a normal amount. speaking as a sane person#edit: i'm also going to add that a lot of these end up veering into ableist territories#you can disagree with a take without saying shit about people's eyes and brains and ability to read#some people literally Do struggle to understand shit#NO they should not have to keep their mouths shut bc some ASSHOLES on the internet love to have an “idiot” to laugh at#some people DO struggle to read donald! thats why they go online and ask questions! sometimes they miss shit!#“bUt THey mAdE iT sO oBvIouS” and so what? they missed it. oh spare your poor heart. a person missed a detail. this must be so hard for you
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Constantly citing this article and the studies it uses.
Here's a quote:
"That study shows that transmasculine individuals were actually more likely to be victims of childhood sexual assault, adult sexual assault, dating violence, domestic violence, and stalking than were transfeminine individuals (as shown in the chart below).
The only category in which trans women were more likely to be victimized was by hate violence, and even there the difference was small: 30 percent of trans women reported having experienced hate violence, compared to 29 percent of trans men."
#just an interesting finding#trans men#transmascs#transmasculinity#but you know#“shut up and listen to people who have real problems”#some of the shit you people say about trans men on this website makes me so mad#I feel like you walked into my house told me that Dolly Parton is a fascist bitch then spit in my grandma's ashes#like do you want to take this outside?#Oh I forgot#you never go outside#obviously#only a chronically terminally online weirdo could say the things you people say about trans men#I'm not a trans man and I can so clearly see the way you treat them is shitty#why can't you?#transandrophobia#they coined that word because you got mad when they applied transmisogyny to their own experiences and now you pick apart the word#as if words don't have meanings outside their root parts#I can't imagine having that much brain rot
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going through some old logs, and I need you to understand just how truly unhinged early 2010s RP omegle was.
genuinely you could stay on there for hours with just one person, hashing out complex traumatic backstories, drawn-out love confessions, detailed action scenes...collaboratively describing graphic violence, past abuse, comfort, hurt/comfort, hurt/no comfort, any number of sex acts...and then one of you would be like, "oh haha it's 2AM! I have to sleep :(" and the other person would say, "omg saaaame. :( gnight!!!" and then you'd exit the chat and never speak to each other again, and this was. fine.
you could just spend an entire evening shoving your wretched, bleeding soul into a chat log with someone you'd never meet or learn the name of, achieve some form of emotional catharsis, and then go about your day or night like this was an average way to spend your time.
I'm really normal about this, actually
#sbs rambles#omegle#it wasn't always serious ofc. there was a lot of lighthearded silliness#but I usually went in for the darker sadder stuff that built up to a happy ending#there's really a special form of intimacy when you and an internet stranger are each controlling a fictional character#and describing them doing things like bandaging each other's wounds#checking each other for bruises. asking them to talk about what they've been through. great stuff!#I hope there are still places where people do stuff like this. like I know there are forums and servers for this but that's not the same.#and I mean. I keep thinking ''there must be other places like this!'' but then I remember the goodbye message when omegle shut down#and...I dunno. the internet is different now#we don't live in that world anymore#anyway if you ever RP'd sherlock stuff on omegle you might have talked to me. :) we might have written something together#and despite it being superwholock-era fandom “cringe”#I'm proud of that#that was a really important part of my life#it was fun :) though I definitely had issues I wasn't willing to confront yet lmao#and I wish I had saved more of the logs :/#oh! I also liked the moments where you'd have to take a break#like you could be right in the middle of something intense and then the other person would be like#(brb I have to finish making dinner for my husband) and you'd say (sure!)#and then 20mins later you'd start up again where you left off
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there is a heinous lack of Venti + Mondstadt character content and I'm one category 7 autism event away from filing the void myself
#zilly squeaks#genshin impact#I'm SERIOUS#the untapped potential#'oh look zilly is obsessed with another hidden identity trans allegory' shut up shut up shut up#i just love the Mondstat crew's dynamic so much and i NEED to insert him in there#infect them with that fucking twink#can you imagine the sheer chaos of Mona + Fischl + Bennett + Razor + Venti going on regular adventures#Kaeya + Rosaria + Venti drinking buddies#Diluc and Jean getting gray hairs over the. everything#Barbara and Venti would be music friends I think despite the felonies and sacrilege#what does one do in this fandom when you're obsessed with a character but for gen content and don't care for the popular ships#i lied Venti/Nameless bard is gonna uhhhhh kill me in my sleep
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jon val jon or something
#jean valjean#les miserables#les mis#meme#no bc i just read the part where FIRST of all he's 'so happy his conscience began to bother him' and immediately goes 'can't have that'#and then he 'lived in the backyard like a dog' OF HIS OWN HOUSE WHILE COSETTE IS IN THE MAIN BUILDING#and jvj my beloved i am obsessed with you king but it is SO unhealthy to intentionally deprive yourself just so someone else can tell you..#'no no don't do that you need to take care of yourself' like bro i know you want to be nurtured and have someone prove their love for you#but it's really not great that the only way you keep your room at a liveable temperature and eat good food is when cosette is making you#i say this without judgement bc that was me once too but good GOD man your identity cannot be her!!!!#and stop with the preemptive self-inflicted harm!!! stop with the self-protective and yet -destructive distancing!!#you're only doing that because you want someone to tell you to stop!!!!!#alternate chapter title: in which an old man finds himself at home among the youth (2014 tumblr)#ANYways all this to say jvj is a projectable 10000% and i hate him because i love him because i hate that version of me bc i love me#or: SHUT UP AND BE LOVED YOU SILLY OLD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#kay has a party in the tags#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay is a classical literature nerd#my meme
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i like to think everyone has a colour associated with them, whether its just your fave colour or what you generally wear most of or what colour your bedroom walls are. i always associate the name sophie with dark blue, my mum is always a nice turquoise, i like to think my colour is a bright sunflower yellow.
if you have a specific shade pls tell me i adore when ppl have associated colours and tell me them, bc i think of them when i see that colour
#shut up danni's talking#its one of my ultimate favourite aspects of character designs and i will forever use it w my characters#but i also think abt it w ppl!!!!#its almost certainly spawned from a combo of my mum passionately loving her colour + my primary school#my primary school's name/theme/whatever was related to the rainbow#its common for primary schools in the uk for the uniform to be polo shirts and schools would pick a colour and that was your uniform#but w my school's theme being rainbows they were like lol whatever colour as long as you're in a polo shirt#so kids would choose whichever shirt colour they wanted some kids switched it up every year#others stuck w the colour they chose all 6 years#so of course i would correlate ppl w colours which is how i always relate sophie w dark blue#bc i'd play w this girl called sophie in the afterschool club who always wore dark blue through all the years i knew her#tbh i still think of my brother also as dark blue bc he would wear the same colour#if you could not guess my colour was yellow and i always felt distinctly wrong when i had to wear a different colour#there were a couple times i had to borrow a new shirt bc mine got dirty or all mine hadn't been washed so i had to wear my brother's#i don't know if its just me but i feel like everyone has an affinity with a colour even if its n9t your fave#hence the poll lmao
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OMGGG Your latest smut fic is so amazing!!! The smut is absolutely delicious! but....the angst is breaking my heart so...could you please write a continuation or part two where the reader confronts Aventurine's dark internal thoughts and comforts them? A fic where they actually get him to believe that they love him for real, where they tell him that he's not a monster and that he wasn't ruining them.
You've got it ! (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
Aventurine x Reader
You treat Aventurine with more respect than he deserves. (Part 2)
Read part 1 here !
CW: dehumanisation (internal, thoughts Aventurine has of himself, referring to himself as a “monster”), lots of mentions of death, passively suicidal Aventurine, violent imagery (through metaphors, nobody is actually physically harmed), intrusive thoughts, Aventurine thinks kind of vicious things about you (refers to you as "stupid", "brainless", "naive" etc), cursing.
Lmk if there’s anything else I should warn about !!
Small note: Spoiler alert sorry, but you will not completely fix Aventurine in this fic. Making any real progress would take YEARS. The trauma he's gone through and his beliefs about his own humanity are EXTREMELY deep-seated, just one conversation would not be enough to make him truly believe he was loved. Super sorry since I'm sure that's not what you wanted (you specifically requested they "truly get him to believe that they love him for real", but this does still end on a hopeful note so I hope you won't be too disappointed (•ᴗ•,, ) )
Sometimes Aventurine gains enough clarity to remember where he stands. More importantly, he gains enough clarity to remember where you should stand. That is to say, as far away from him as possible. Unfortunately, you are never keen on doing that.
In these moments of clarity, he distances himself. If you won’t do it, he has to. He needs to. He needs to even when he can feel the little pieces of him that you’ve managed to haphazardly glue together splinter into tiny shards again, even when it feels like every step away is a step walked on shattered glass. He can hardly be called a ‘person’ anyways, what does his suffering matter? He has already lost so many good things, why not add another loss to the tally?
He reads your texts, but he doesn’t respond. He hangs up on you the moment you call. By doing this, he makes sure you know he is alive. Both because he knows it would devastate you if you thought he died, but even more so to make sure you know he is intentionally ignoring you. He hopes at least some part of you hates him. He thinks part of him hates you.
But he can never stay away for long. Like a werewolf called by the full moon; like a vampire to blood; like a siren to a sailor. Thoughts of you always cloud his mind too much to do what is right. He reminds himself he will destroy you. He comes back anyways. He is too selfish not to.
And you welcome him with open arms every time. Sure, sometimes you yell. Sometimes you berate him. Sometimes you cry. But he never does something beyond the bounds of what you’ll forgive, even though he tries to. You’re patient to a fault. Though he feels bad, he never takes it fully seriously, because you always hold him with so much sweetness, even when your words are filled with righteous anger and justified hurt. You always end it by reminding him that you love him. Something clenches in his chest; something that is not his heart, because he has none. He claims he is sorry, but you both know he will do this again. He always does. You know he will hurt you over and over, even if you don’t know the extent. You know he will test you, that he will ignore you, that he will cling to you and that he will taunt you. You don’t know he will drag his claws through you and tear you to ribbons; you don’t know he will sink his teeth into your neck and drink all your blood; you don’t know he will lure you to sea and drown you. You are never aware of the true danger you are in.
Maybe that’s why you one day feel comfortable enough to corner the creature that has taken on the appearance of a lover. You sit down next to him in bed one evening after one of his many attempts to push you away, your expression grim. You look straight ahead, right into his dead eyes, unaware that a monster is towering over you.
“We can’t go on like this,” you say. For one moment, the crushing relief and devastation threatens to consume him, and he’s not sure which of the feelings is stronger. For one moment he can’t breathe.
He hacks our a laugh, his skin straining. Something is shifting beneath his flesh, something ugly and dangerous. He needs to leave and he needs to do it quickly.
“You’re right, we can’t,” he agrees, his voice a lot more steady than he feels. He feels the urge to grab you and shake you until you pass out. He feels the urge to suck out your life force until your body is an empty husk. He feels the urge to slam your head into the bathroom sink in the next room over. He feels the urge to shoot himself in the head, because he does not want to do any of that.
“I love you,” you say, unexpectedly. Or maybe it’s not unexpected. You always say such stupid, brainless things. (You say it with sweetness. The only sweetness he can offer in return is the sweetness of bacteria digesting rotting meat. Is the flesh his, or will it be yours?) He laughs again.
“I thought we were breaking up,” he says. Smirking, as if it’s funny. (It isn’t.)
“No, we’re really not,” you say firmly. He snorts.
“Maybe we should.”
You don’t answer. Instead, you come closer.
Get away, he thinks. Run, you fucking idiot.
You don’t have many flaws, but the ones you do have are insurmountably big. You are too forgiving, you are too kind, you are too selfless, you are too naive. You will kill yourself doing this one day. You will let him kill you.
Your arms wrap around him. He can’t help but relax. The thing lurking under his human disguise grows more restless.
“I don’t hate you,” you say, unexpectedly. And this one really is unexpected, because what made you say that? Your arms squeeze around him tighter. “I thought I was being obvious enough about that, but you’re so bad at understanding it.”
The feeling he has is the same as the feeling he gets when he realises a deal is going awry. You are the highest risk stakes he has ever made a bet on: will he ruin you, or will you ruin him? What you could do to him is so much more serious than death. He knows that he is holding a losing hand. He doesn’t even know what he stands to win.
You kiss his neck. He shudders.
“Why are you so scared of me?” you ask.
Scared? He is not scared. What an outright laughable concept. Neither of you are scared, but if one of you was, it should be you, but you aren’t, for some reason.
“What gives you that idea?” he chuckles, but his voice is not as steady this time, and he can feel his smile slipping. (What is wrong with him? He doesn’t want to think about it. The answer is always ‘everything’.)
“Your hand is shaking.”
It is, but that is not because he is afraid. Fear is a human response, borne from the desire to live. It is instinctual. It means kicking and screaming, it means clawing your way out of hell for the chance to see another day, it means fighting for the life you don’t want to end. He cannot die, you see. Death cannot occur twice. Just because his body reacts, that does not necessarily mean he can truly fear any longer.
(Then again, maybe his reaction does not come from the thought of his death.)
“I’m not scared,” he says, and his voice sounds a lot weaker than he had expected. You pull him closer, cradling his head against the crook of your neck. His blood is pulsing too quickly.
“It would be okay if you were,” you murmur. “I know you don’t know how to be loved. That’s okay. I’ll teach you. You just have to let me.”
Squash. Slice. Tear.
Maybe you are the monster. He can feel your claws prying his chest open; he can feel your teeth dig into his flesh; he can feel something that is not air fill his lungs. The biggest difference between you and him is that he devours, while you give. You painfully shove something back into the cavity meant to contain his soul, you pump blood back into his system, and you fill whatever gaps are left in him with something that is first cold but quickly warms.
(He realises, belatedly, that something is pumping inside his chest again. But it can’t be a heart, can it? He lost that so long ago.)
“I’ll kill you,” he manages through gritted teeth, claws digging into your shirt. It is not a threat. It is not a warning. It is just the truth.
“You think too much,” you admonish him. Your tone is as gentle as your words are cutting. “I wish you would trust me more. You’re so determined to ruin your own life, and I don’t like it.”
“That’s just how I am. Deal with it or leave.”
“I’ll deal with it, then.”
Like a werewolf called by the full moon; like a vampire to blood; like a siren to a sailor. He will destroy you. But you accept it.
He has tried time and time again to push you away, but he is weak. So incorrigibly weak, and though your flaws are insurmountable, his are all-consuming. He is a monster in all the ways that matter. But you stubbornly will not leave despite that.
(Maybe that makes him a little more willing to try to change his nature. Just a little. Just for you. If you will not leave anyways, maybe he could try to make his presence a little less torturous.)
“Just… please stop ignoring me,” you sigh, nuzzling into his hair. Tenderly, tenderly, tenderly, so tenderly it makes his skin crawl. Your claws are softly piercing into him and he is helpless, unable (unwilling) to fight back. “I can deal with everything else. I just hate it when you do that. I can’t keep going weeks without speaking to you. I know you have some kind of… weird ideas that I’d be better off without you, but that’s not true. I love you, and I love being around you. I can’t help you when you cut me off at every corner.”
Cut, slice, slash.
Something in him breaks. Something he knows cannot be salvaged. Something he knows you would not want to salvage. Something he is not sure if he wants to salvage either, now that it is broken anyways.
He breathes a shaky breath, his fingers — his fingers, not claws, not this time — digging into your back. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, and he does not feel the urge to bite down. Though his eyes feel wet, it would not be enough water to drown you.
He knows your line of logic is wrong. He knows the fact remains unchanged: he is a monster of a man. He will ruin you. But maybe your presence sparks enough electricity to keep his heart pumping, just for a little while, and maybe he can wait until things actually start going downhill before he lets you go. Maybe he can remember how to be a human for a bit, maybe he can pretend he is.
“I just… don’t want to do something I can’t take back,” he whispers. “Not with you. You’re the… the only good thing I have left. I don’t know what I’d do if I…”
“That’s sweet, but I’m not as weak as you think I am,” you reply. “I’ve held out this long, haven’t I? Put more faith in me.”
He smiles.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
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My inbox is open, feel free to send in asks or requests, I'd love to ramble about things <3 Also reblogs are EXTREMELY appreciated the final push I needed to finish this was from a very kind individual who reposted and analysed my writing I've been riding that high ever since they did that ily bro
#[rawbin]#[aventurine]#[rawbin fanfic]#[by me]#aventurine x reader#Tried some sort of weird monster metaphor by bringing up werewolf vampire and siren imagery idk if that worked out the way I wanted but -#whatever part of the process is making weird decisions and learning what did and didn't work out#Not entirely happy with this but I wasn't with the previous part either so yolo I don't have the patience to scrap this and start over#Tried to make the dialogue sound like things real actual human being would say but idk if I succeeded#Especially when reader reassures him what person actually speaks so eloquently ?? not me that's for sure#And the part where Aventurine is like “😢 i-i-i don't w-w-wanna hurt you pookiebear!!!” he would not say that straight out#but whatever I'm tired and I can tell I will not be finding the motivation to work for this one more night#plsss continue sendinf requests guys it makes me happy#Currently working on qpps Aventurine (whoever sent that request I actually love you)#(reason it's taking so long is because I've written so much in the tumblr app and my phone keeps overheating so I need to take breaks HELP)#(I've learnt my lesson and will try to stick to writing in my notes app when I suspect I might write a lot <3)#Jesus these tags are an essay sorry I just CANNOT shut up I looove speaking I love it love it love it#aventurine honkai star rail#aventurine hsr#aventurine star rail#hsr aventurine#aventurine#aventurine fanfic#reader x aventurine#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail#hsr x you#hsr x reader#hsr#star rail
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Every time I see someone earnestly say that Carver hates Hawke, I have to exercise such restraint to not scream.
Every day I get closer to writing a deep dive about him because that's my guy. He's so interesting. He feels so much. He tries so hard when talking to the other companions and some of the dynamics he has with them are so good. He can be so fucking funny and sweet and awkward. He so badly wants to be wanted and appreciated and to protect everyone he loves.
Carver Hawke, they could never make me hate you.
#da2#carver hawke#i may have stumbled across someone complaining about how mean carver is to hawke and the companions and i just... huh??#whattya mean?? first of all if you're upset about companions being jerks to each other then boy do i have bad news for you#about the other companions--if you want 'mean' then put anders merrill and fenris in a party together#hell if you wanna see 'mean' then look through aveline's companion dialogue--she straight up calls merrill stupid to her face#and secondly carver is not MEAN... the only companion he's hostile toward is anders and that makes sense#and don't get me started on carver and hawke he does NOT hate hawke even if he's a templar and at full rivalry#hawke can be the worst piece of shit to him. max out his rivalry. leave him behind where he becomes a templar.#just say the worst shit to him and he will never betray you. he will never agree to kill hawke for meredith. ever.#but reminder that a warrior/rogue hawke has an option to let circle bethany die when siding with the templars#JUST SAYING#one day y'all.... one day i'm gonna write it and then what? WHAT THEN??#also yes... I'm replaying da2 now. i'm still in act 1 so i have hawke siblings on the brain so...#apologies in advance for not shutting up about them
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THE ROOKIE- 6.03 ➦ Trouble In Paradise
#chenford#chenfordedit#the rookie#therookieedit#tim x lucy#tim and lucy#jesuis-assez edits: chenford#jesuis-assez edits: the rookie#jesuis-assez edits: season 6#jesuis-assez edits: chenford scenes 6x03#He really took care of her in this episode. [like always]#From giving her advice -> distraction -> keeping an eye on her -> letting her sleep in -> the trophy -> reassurance.#Just doing everything he could to be there for her and support her#to keep her from burning out. If she was ever to crash this episode... or to have her hopes dashed. He would be there to catch her.#and he did. “I'm sorry for disappointing you.” “You could never disappoint me.” Giving her the words she needed to hear in that moment.#He gave her what she needed in this episode and more.#More importantly... He knew what she needed and he knew how to be there for her. He is in tune with her.#His understanding of her runs deep and flows through his actions just how devoted he is to her.#Perhaps Lucy wore the necklace he gave her to the oral exam... Not just because it's from someone she loves but#So she could feel him there with her for support. As he has supported her from the moment he found out she was working towards this.#Even when it was killing him inside to do so because of his related trauma.#I don't always communicate through the tags... but when I do--- you can't shut me up 🙃 [and they become quite lengthy]
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this might be mean but. it really ticks me off when people respond to authors and artists wishing for actual community and engagement with their works by saying "oh but you see im just so anxious i cannot offer you any kind words." with the optional "but do please keep making things for me anyway!" because like...
a) do you understand how anxiety-inducing it can be to pour a little piece of your soul into a work of art and share it publicly? i feel like you don't see the people creating these things as people like you and that is an issue. we are people who just really love a thing and want to talk about it with other people who also love that thing.
but moreover, and this is the part that might be mean, b) damn why doesn't your anxiety prevent you from making excuses to us then? i wish it did! like if you're SO anxious about a fic author blocking you for saying something nice, why are you not anxious about getting blocked for telling that author "okay but i don't want to comment on your works though"??? because i can tell you which of these two things is way more likely to piss me off and it isn't the comment.
like. idk man. if you really don't want to comment on and engage with people's creative works, no one can force you to. but also consider maybe not commenting on and engaging with those people's posts just to explain that you don't want to comment on/engage with their works. if you are so committed to staying quiet and being a passive consumer then commit to the bit and stop asking creative people who put way more of themselves out there than you are to pat you on the back and reassure you that you'll still keep getting free content even if you can't do so much as drop a "this was really good!" in the comments.
#rimi talks#like. maybe its just me but i just do not care about passive consumers#someone can love my fic more than anything in the world and reread it every single day for a week and i literally would not care#if they don't talk to me! because i have no way of knowing. they are not real to me.#like functionally someone doing that is NO different than 7 different people opening the tab and going ''i hate this nvm'' 2 sentences in.#and the people who go ''ohh but im sooo anxious i cant comment (but i can fsr tell you about how anxious i am about commenting'' are so.#newsflash i have anxiety too and i just shared 30000 words so forgive me if i kind of don't give a shit#it's just like. if you're not going to comment then don't. but don't ask me to reassure you or give you a medal for it!#sometimes the politest thing to do is simply shut the fuck up <3#like there's a time and place for talking about how you're anxious or burnt out or exhausted#and it's simply NOT when people are shouting into the void about wanting a sense of community bc they feel taken for granted.#that is not the time or place. please learn a sense of shame if manners are beyond you.
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Folks, you're not going to like what I have to say. I just know it and I'm warning you of that. I said it once before, but leaks really do make some folks act out in ways that I can't understand. We ain't even got a full translation and already people are saying this ship is canon and that ship is canon... and whatever else. Jumping to conclusions when you don't even have all the facts.
Look, I'm not saying Hori is the best writer. I'm not saying Izuku and Ochako is a bad ship (it's not, there's worse... a lot worse).
But I do think some people are jumping ten steps ahead and I doubt that they are canon romantically. This isn't me being in denial because I could care less about the ship. It's not a ship that makes me sit up at night and cry and want to punch a wall and harass people. No ship for me does.
So far, from what I can gather from the very little information Izuku wants to see Ochako more because... THEY LITERALLY HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER A LOT. In the last chapter, Izuku states that the class haven't been able to catch up and whatnot because over the years they got busy with their careers. The last time they probably had a proper conversation was in high school.
Izuku and Ochako wanting to meet up more doesn't automatically mean they're going to date. Let's not forget, Ochako is one of the first people to become a close friend of Izuku's in their first year. They clicked because they were so similar. They mirror each other even!
They're best friends if anything and wouldn't you want to see your best friend after not seeing them for a long time?
So far, it just feels that this epilogue is them accepting their own feelings about everything that has happened, like a self-reflection and self-acceptance type of deal.
Sometimes, you realize something about yourself when encountering someone who is like you. That's how Izuku and Ochako are to me.
It takes them identifying with the other to come to terms about themselves.
"But the blushing! The handholding!"
So blushing automatically means "I have romantic feelings for you", is what some of you are saying?
Just gonna forget all the times they and others have blushed out of embarrassment or happiness? That even some characters have the blush stickers to show their sweet innocent nature, like Ochako for most of the story?
Izuku blushed at Katsuki in the final chapter out of happiness, so it can't apply here, too? Why does blushing got to only be used in a romantic sense?
Seeing Izuku blushing looking at Ochako is funny when considering he's holding an (possibly) alcoholic beverage in that same shot. My guy is probably drunk. 😆 Jokes aside, jokes aside.
This is Ochako and Izuku, we're talking about here. They're the Queen and King of MHA characters who blush a lot, no matter what is going on.
And the handholding? In MHA? It happens a lot between characters! It's not like anything new or Izuku and Ochako are going to get cooties.
Look, I might make some people laugh or hate me for this one but when I saw this... I was reminded of this.
For those that don't know, that is from the Predator (1987). Yes, that Predator.
Two characters that have been friends for a long time and just happy to see each other.
We seen this kind of handshake like this before between characters of different and same genders. Either as a greet or as an agreement.
Izuku and Ochako are just agreeing to see each other more and that they should allow themselves to live happy lives. That doesn't mean they're going to start dating and having babies the following week.
"Bakugou is being treated like his wingman!"
Ah, stop right there. Katsuki encouraging Izuku to talk to Ochako isn't like that strange because between Izuku and Katsuki, Katsuki is the one to most likely reveal his emotions. He is more in touch with his emotions than Izuku who while emotional tends to keep everything in.
Katsuki isn't playing wingman. He's playing advisor and someone who has experience with emotions.
Seeing Izuku stumbling over his words and being all nervous trying to talk to Ochako is so in character for him. He has never been too good expressing his emotions.
I doubt Katsuki would be like "go tell her you want to marry her". He is more like "go talk to her, you're friends, remember? Been forever since you had a proper conversation."
It's the same case with Himiko pushing Ochako towards Izuku. She is encouraging her to be happy and not be stuck in the past. Not "go get married".
Happiness doesn't mean you must be in a romance.
Just me, again, but I feel like some people are really just jumping the gun here. If you really are thinking Izuku and Ochako being canon is bad for your ship, that's... I'm sorry, this will be mean of me to say, but that's ridiculous.
A ship being canon shouldn't stop you from enjoying the ships you do like. What ever happen to "ignore canon"? Oh, I guess that becomes irrelevant when you want to cause panic and bash and panic and bash and panic and bash.
Like a handhold like that shouldn't make you feel threatened by that ship.
Just continue shipping your ships! Take it from someone whose favorite ship is of two characters who haven't been seen interacting before.
Even still, with just leaks alone, it doesn't mean they are canon. I have my ships and there's moments in whatever the story makes me ship them but I also don't think every little behavior is meant to be romantic.
The thing I know I'm going to hate about this epilogue isn't even the chapter itself. It's the reactions.
I know some people are going to say this chapter is queerbait and use to it to even go as far as to bash Ochako given she is the woman and it's routine to hate on the woman. It ain't queerbait if Katsuki and Izuku wasn't going to be explicitly a couple themselves. Let's not forget it's Shonen Jump and even though the queer coding can be there, we can't have everything.
Also, I also know that some fans of IzuOcha are going to use this chapter to justify their "authority" of "best ships" and harass people like "my ship is better than yours" and be only concerned about Ochako being a housewife.
I don't think Horikoshi is the greatest human and MHA is a flawless story but some of you are no better to these characters and the story.
#im sorry but this is just giving me hori's last work when the main two characters a guy and a girl were like 'let's continue to have fun'#like the chapter isn't even out yet and yall ready to tear heads off#i say this with love and without patience because i lost of it#shut up and chill out#for once just wait for full translations#for once stop spreading rumors and assuming the worse#if you're disappointed you're disappointed move on#i say this to both the haters and shippers they ain't wearing wedding clothes in the final shot#I'm just happy that the class got to have a time out together again#but i am disappointed to see miruko ranked lower than some characters... see folks just don't appreciate her like i do smh#just kiya's thoughts#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#bnha leaks#bnha epilogue#mha epilogue#midoriya izuku#izuku midoriya#deku#ochako uraraka#uraraka ochako
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Wake up, BurningCheese/GoldenSpice babes, new poorly drawn blorbos just dropped
They look cooler in my head, I swear.
the images didn't show up the first time wtf lol
The kids are finally here, yay. I promised I'd show you them, and I finally stopped being an asshole and followed through. Almost got 200 followers and I'm very grateful for it - really, I'm nobody. I'm just some clown who says dumb stuff and makes dumb memes and writes cringey stories, and yet I convinced almost 200 people to tune in. Thank you all so much, users on here and anons in my inbox alike. As a token of appreciation, you can all endure my rambling about my OCs and witness a person in their early 20s draw like a 12 year old.
The boy is Pepper Jack (or Pepper Jack Cookie). He's the firstborn and older than his sister by a few years. He takes after his mother in a lot of ways, primarily in her appearance (save for nabbing his father's red eyes). He's incredibly bright (and a smartass lol), preferring to think his way out of conflict rather than fight his way out... not that he's above violence at all, if that glaive doesn't give it away lol. He harbors a deep sense of love and loyalty towards his family and his peoples, and carries the weight of his responsibilities and heritage with as much confidence and poise as he can muster. (There are/will be times where he stumbles, of course. He's not perfect. He struggles a lot more than he lets on, really. But he tries his best, for everyone's sake.)
The girl is Matar Paneer (or Matar Paneer Cookie). Again, she's the younger one by a few years. She was all but made in her father's image, save for inheriting her mother's eyes. She's a little firecracker: lively and fun-loving and stubborn as a mule. She doesn't ask "can I have/do this thing", she tells you "I'm going to have/do this thing". Golden is proud as anything to see her daughter be so greedy... until that greed comes into conflict with her and Spice's authority lol. But she's a good kid, despite being such a handful. She has an enormous heart and is not afraid to stand up for others/what's right, and she loves her parents and brother more than anything in the world. She might doubt her own capabilities, she might secretly fear that she's not strong enough to do what she needs to... but she keeps pushing anyway, because she'd honestly choose death over quitting.
Your eyes are not deceiving you, Pepper Jack's wings are blue lol. There's an actual reason for that. And that USO (Unidentified Sitting Object) in Matar Paneer's hair is a lotus (the cheese one in the GCK decor set lol). There's a reason for that, too. I thought it would be cool to give Jack a glaive and swap out the normal blade for that of a khopesh sword (glaives are not Egyptian, they only saw use in Asia and Europe, but I just HAD to give him a glaive), to add that Egyptian touch. Paneer's supposed to be wearing a pattu pavadai, it's a traditional Indian dress for young girls. It's a blouse plus a skirt. She's holding katar, Indian knives (Cilantro Cobra has them, too). And her hair's supposed to be in a low ponytail.
Merchant thinks that if they explain what their terrible drawings are supposed to convey, people will understand their intended vision and the pain will stop
I sat down and did research into both Egyptian and Hindu mythology for the sake of drawing inspiration for them both. I'll explain in detail in another post, but basically: both of them take after one Egyptian god and one Hindu god each. Golden takes after Ra and Spice takes after Shiva, so I figured I'd follow along that line.
Please flood my inbox with questions about them now. I've really been dying to talk about them for ages now. I've drafted extensive character sheets for them both, I even made up in-game descriptions for them lol. They're my little fankid blorbos and I love them :') I hope you all come to love them, too
(Also, I'm sorry they're on lined paper. I'm visiting family rn and that's the only paper my grandmother has in her house. I'd have to drive to a stationery to get printer paper and I'd really rather not drive in this particular country lol (shit roads, even shittier drivers). I'll doodle them on printer paper whenever somebody remembers to bring me some)
#haha spicy cheese and cheesy curry. Get it?#also... when you accidentally indirectly ship Ra x Shiva via making up kids technically born from them lol. Does this count as Old Man Yaoi#(jk I mean no disrespect whatsoever. These gods/faiths are and were important to people and I don't mean to offend)#(I genuinely love learning about other religions and I had fun being inspired by these ones)#(seriously I went ham with this shit. Pepper Jack's birth is based on an Egyptian creation myth lol)#These two have long roads ahead of them. They're going to struggle and get hurt. But they'll pull through and come back better than before#fr please ask me stuff about them. I need an excuse to ramble for 10k words#you can even ask stupid shit like what their favorite color is#I love these two. I feel like their crazy grandma lol#also I have lots of thoughts wrt Spice & Golden as parents and their thoughts/feelings about parenthood#plus their individual relationships with each child#so you can expect me to rant about that too lol#maybe someday Merchant will shut the fuck up#cookie run kingdom#burning spice cookie#golden cheese cookie#burningcheese#goldenspice#cookie run oc#cookie run fankid#pepper jack cookie#matar paneer cookie
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they keep showingup and its scaring me
#the d!ckheads#school bus graveyard (webtoon)#school bus graveyard#WHAT I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE IS HOW THE TIMELINES DONT ADD UP#the d!ckheads is set in 2013#sbg is set in 2016#so legally since the sbg gang is 15 they should be arnd 12 in the d!ckheads#and yet here they are in a high school#and they don't look 12#also 12 yr olds dont go to highschool#unless you skipped a grade your at least 13 when you enter hs#SO WHY#ARE THE SBG KIDS#THERE#IT MAKES ME COOCOOBANANAS#my online friends know what im talking about (i wouldnt shut up abt it)#ori if ur reading this thanks for putting up with me#ur a doll#aiden clark#ashlyn banner#taylor hernandez#tyler hernandez#eliana ocampo#other people i dont remember#logan fields
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