#me vs red flag fictional characters

[megsvway]

sometimes babygirl is a grown ass man 🕺

idk what more to say aside from the fact that i am incapable of enjoying media normally so of course i drew wesker all day

[forcebookish]

lowkey losing sleep over this twitter thing. something about just having the thought how nice and understanding the forcebook fandom is and then having a bunch of ppl dunk on me in front of their hundreds of followers for saying akk has flaws and that fandom shouldn't measure ships based on their inflated perceived health stressed me out idk

[synonymsforstupidity]

'Kris being an outcast who likes freaking people out means they must be a Bad Person™️ and thus taking their free will and piloting them like a puppet is actually Good™️ morally speaking'

How about I eat your skin how bout that

[dustbunnylair]

Uraume Confirmed Gender, Originally a Male and Reincarnated Into a Woman's Body | Jujutsu Kaisen Volume 28

[Source: SportsSkeeda Article]

Okay first off, let me just say that I fucking knew it. Usually, I try not to make jokes while writing these silly, for lack of a better word; essays. However, I did in fact call it. I theorized this is exactly how Uraume's gender works, the binding on their chest never being for battle, but instead just to bind their chest. Here's a screenshot dating back to September 10th [last month]

Now excuse me but to all the Jujutsu Kaisen "fans" that said Uraume is in fact a girl and nothing else; FUCK YOU.

I'm sorry but the jjk fandom is by far one of the worst fandoms I've been in. and I've been in the My Hero Academia fandom so that says A LOT.

it's extremely ironic too because as soon as this came out, the "transphobic" Uraume "fans" stopped shipping them with Sukuna, like immediately. If that doesn't scream red flags about the fandom then I don't know what does.

I've talked about it before and I will talk about it again, [legal + nontoxic] queer ships and queer headcanons within the jjk fandom is NOT the problem. The people constantly shoving "why can't two men be best friends" down your throat are THE problem. These headcanons and ships are not new within any anime fandom, there will always be a queer ship no matter what.

"Why can't two men be best friends" Why can't a woman and a man be best friends? Why do you ship every woman + man friendship?

Honestly the first time I've ever been so goddamn happy for Gege Akutami to confirm something about his character, especially knowing who it's going to upset. It honestly does suck how many bigots are in the jjk fandom because Gege isn't against lgbtqia+, he's literally a fan of BLs..

The only excuses people had for Uraume being a woman is;

Hakari calling them a 'her' [he was assuming]

Uraume has bandages around their chest during Hakari vs Uraume because they're a woman and that's what women do during battles

They were reincarnated into a woman's body therefore they're a woman.

I'm skipping over the Hakari part because that is such an obvious answer. Uraume having a chest binding around their chest during a fight isn't because they're a woman, not to mention no other woman character has ever had chest bindings, there's literally nothing to back that up. And if you *actually* paid attention in Jujutsu Kaisen, you'd know that reincarnation has NEVER specified that the vessel NEEDED to be of the SAME GENDER.

I'm not 'caring too much' about a fictional situation. I care about the fact that homo/transphobes are so fucking annoying in fandoms to the point that no one can even enjoy Jujutsu Kaisen anymore without some rat in your ear saying it's not canon.

Just like the heavy homophobia towards SatoSugu or ItaFushi, the only excuse both have is 'two men can be best friends' as if SatoSugu or ItaFushi shippers have ever said they couldn't be. The more valid reason is that ItaFushi is a risky ship due to both of them being minors and not wanting two minor characters to be sexualized, but shipping characters doesn't automatically mean you want them to have intercourse or debate on who's top/bottom.

Most shippers [including myself] ship characters that would most likely be wholesome together due to how much they care about each other.

Anyway, I thank Gege Akutami for this confirmation so the useless debate can stop. I will still be referring to Uraume as 'they/them' due to them being technically both genders. I'm praying that the Jujutsu Kaisen fandom and future fandoms are able to heal and not have constant debates like this because people want to have unproblematic headcanons.

[notmyprey]

Idk if this is just a me thing, but like - dont get me wrong. I like a possessive pred- but sometimes the things ppl describe are just red flags from what I understand...

Edit: peeps seem to think this is stupid so far, so it may just be me overthinking all of this, so do keep that in mind :)

For instance:

Ok 🎃👍 : Pred loves their prey and gets jealous easily. Sometimes, they get jealous of their prey's other pred friends. That can mean they nom them on occasion because of that, but they apologize and do better.

Red flag: Pred that doesn't let their prey talk to any of their pred friends or preds in general. Pred eats their prey to show that they own them and doesn't apologize.

Ok 🎃👍 : Pred snatches up their prey cause they get scared that another preds gonna hurt them. The pred apologizes later/in the moment.

Red flag: The pred snatches up their prey for no reason even when the prey told them not to. The pred doesn't apologize at all, and had no fear the prey was going to get hurt, only that the prey was theirs and the pred wanted to show it (again, going against the prey asking them to not to eat them)

Ok 🎃👍 : The prey wandering and the pred panics thinking something bad happened to them. Once they find them, they nom them because "holy heck, I thought you died. I can't deal rn with that. I love ya too much."

Red flag: The prey wanders off, and the pred goes to find them. The pred gets angry that they wandered off and eats the prey even when the prey says they dont want to be eaten. Again, pred doesn't apologize, and the pred doesn't show any remorse.

Like- guys, my beautiful people, these are red flags. 100% understand for story purposes, and even if it's just a character. But if you are catching yourself falling for these ppl irl, please please please rethink what that means.

It's not healthy to be with someone so possessive that you can't be your own person.

I know many ppl here struggle with abandonment issues, and as such, we often fall for people who show us an unwavering loyalty.

But I need yall to realize ppl with these red flags are actually more likely to leave you than you think. If you step out of line, they can get aggressive, think you're cheating, and break up with you.

I just want yall to be safe and happy, ok? It's ok to like this fictionally. Just make sure you aren't accidentally seeking these people out irl, as they are often toxic and can be so so bad for your mental health.

Stay safe, yall 🩵

Should I do more of these? I would point out more potential red flags I see in the vore community in general and what the differences between these traits are as healthy vs. unhealthy relationship dynamics.

[olderthannetfic]

I think for me, one of the big stumbling blocks I had for a long time with understanding the problem with antis and how they act is that I came from the world of anime fandom, and I have seen all the time how the idea that you're expected to be tolerant and accepting to straight men who are really into lolicon or slavery isekai or whatever in the name of "sex positivity" does in fact lead into a lot of normalization of genuine creepy IRL behavior, and ignoring red flags for those. Because I've never met a man where doing a lot of apologetics for his interest in fictional 10-year-olds as a grown man or why you just need to understand that in this fictional culture sexual slavery is totally normal etc. didn't come along with some grosser attitudes about real women in girls - look at how a ton of the guys in the first group, for instance, are always trying to argue that "Japanese culture" is actually A-OK with relationships between young teens and grown adults and it's just your mean feminist American bias that's getting in your way. (None of that shit's true about Japan, btw.) Like if it were a purely fictional-preference thing, they wouldn't be saying that about real-world relationships as well.

But see, I have literally never seen those kinds of arguments from, say, women who write fanfiction about teen/adult relationships. To me the problem with a lot of anti behavior is not just that it's pro-censorship (which I oppose on principle, I don't think any of the stuff mentioned in the previous section should be censored, for instance, much as the prevalence of lolicon in anime squicks me out) and that it's puritanical and sex-negative, but also that it goes after the wrong people. There IS a huge creeper problem in fandom but it's largely not coming from the predominantly AFAB and queer world of fanfiction and shipping, most of whom are pretty good at separating fantasy from reality. Or their "fucked up" ship might not even be "their" fantasy but just thinking a particular character dynamic is really interesting and it happens to fit into some particular "problematic" broader dynamic. Sometimes it's specifically that it's fucked up that we like, that's what makes it interesting!

But I do get uncomfortable sometimes when people take the fact that censorship is wrong, harassing people for what they ship is wrong, what you like in fiction is not necessarily what you want in real relationships.... and take it to the extreme of "fiction has no impact on reality / there is never ANY connection between what gets you off in fiction vs. real life" (I do think it's rarely an exact 1:1, but for some people there is a connection), or feeling like you're never allowed to just privately judge people for what porn they're into or they talk about or post about when they go horny on main, or decide you don't particularly want to have, say, cis men who are super into loli as a part of your social circle.

Because I've seen cases where men use that, and other people being shamed for taking issue with how they talk about it because it's not "sex positive" or "you're just like an anti" etc., to raise the temperature on what kinds of creepy and red-flag behaviors are allowed. Or like, people start to get suspicious of things these guys are doing to real people, and question themselves because they worry they're just judging them for liking loli.

I mean, is it wrong to think that a guy who is really into underage girls AND talks a lot about how culture needs to "normalize" it AND makes people feel bad for being uncomfortable with that particular interest of his, is throwing up a lot of red flags for how he's likely to view real women and girls and IRL sexuality?

Once again, I've basically never seen cases where a fanfic writer (other than in some cis-man-heavy fandoms like MLP) who is into some "squicky" dynamic feels like they have to constantly talk about it even to people who are uncomfortable, or feels like they're not "accepted" in a space where they can't constantly bring it up. Maybe they exist. But then maybe it's fair to say that behavior is creepy in a way that just peacefully shipping [whatever "problematic" dynamic] and writing and reading fic for it is not.

But I've seen people be like "a lot of you act like 'well that behavior is only problematic when cis het white men do it' well no i think you're still sex-negative if you're against ANYBODY liking it" and like I'm sorry but power dynamics matter, and HOW you talk about this and to WHOM matters and I think it's just kind of ignorant to act like there isn't a huge difference between how a lot of cis men in anime fandom talk about this shit vs. other kinds of people in fanfic fandom, and that the former is very much informed by the fact that cis men and especially cis het men have cultural power that they are throwing around in the way they influence those spaces.

--

[aquaquadrant]

Popping in to say that I’ve been following ur htp au since like,,, October last year? I’ve left some asks before about how much I love it (I was that anon who was needing out about tango and bravo’s names and the international flag code from several months ago + a few other asks)

The ending was the most beautiful and SATISFYING piece of literature I’ve ever written. Genuinely. Wtf. And I’ve read a lot of books. I’m an English/creative writing major and your work is so beautiful, the story arcs, every loose end was tied up, you’re like the new standard for awesomeness. Seriously.

every loose end was wrapped up so well, all the closure and follow up we wanted, explanations of things like Scáil, hels meanings, their admin, even other hermits at the end there that were mentioned about in asks before but I never thought would be relevant in the main story. Things we didn’t even need to know like bX I was not expecting at all, I was content with just what we knew about him but you made it even better.

also the callbacks to earlier chapters, earlier moments and little jokes, bravo and Timmy’s not a builder moment was awesome, the way you portrayed bravo and tangos mindsets was phenomenal and with such intricacies. Stunning. And you didn’t force a reconciliation between bravo and timmy either, so natural.

Everything had a reason, an explanation, even the intricacies of herobrine? wasnt expecting that at all. Or Alex???! You didn’t need to include that detail BUT YOU DID AND I LOVE IT

the way you explained the greater player universe learning about hels, also the pausing on the red stone tutorial!! Loved that part. The pov switches and pacing of the last chapter p 1 and 2 were perfect. Well executed to keep the reader able to understand but still enough suspense. Not to mention once again your way of capturing each persons way of talking. Bravo having similar vocab to tango especially really drives home their similarities.

The way atlas breaks. It’s so hard to make an ending with someone like him SATISFYING because man I’ve read so many stories where it’s just not it. But you did it so fucking well. And subjected to retail salesman lifestyle on top of that? Wonderful. His damn glasses finally broken. Good. Or The watchers and listeners in the background too! Loved that. You explained things that were talked about in asks so well that even those who don’t read the asks could understand.

Most of all emotional and moral nuance. So perfectly explained. As someone who used to have a hard time with moral ocd I relate a lot to the obsession with good vs evil that I’ve had to come to terms with in my own journey and I can really see that mirrored in this fic, just like the characters learn.

And in addition to it all, I loved the ending with the Minecraft credits end message. You not only made it interesting and beautiful story and awareness of the player’s existence without being too confusing, but perfectly replicated the voices of the end credits characters. The tone and language that the original has. Last week I beat the enderdragon for the first time. I used to only play on public servers or private worlds with friends, even in single player I was a big coward and hated fighting mobs even with keep inventory and no mob griefing, they just stress me out!! But I did it for the first time and I read through the entire end credits of a game I’ve loved for so long for the first time and it made me cry. And you replicated it perfectly which is SO hard to do. The benevolence of the universe, no plot holes to be found about the logic of hels, the voices of the two people and their storytelling and acknowledging of the story. The universe is described so similarly in cannon about the good and bad that it’s like the au fits perfectly. The “why them?” Beautiful. It was like deja vu scrolling through like the end credits with the same benevolent warmth that envelops you like a wordless, comforting presence from this fictional universe. A touching moral about games and stories and people. And just like the end credits of both the game and this fic said, there will be another game and another story. The universe still loves the player just as it did before. This was such a special story to read and I am so glad I did. Genuinely, this will stay with me for a long time, we can learn a lot not just about writing and storytelling techniques, but about ourselves and eachother too.

Thank you.

AUUGHHHH…. genuinely one of the loveliest reviews i’ve ever gotten… your reaction to the finale is everything i could’ve hoped to achieve. thank you thank you THANK YOU <333

[acourtofthought]

I'd love to hear your take on the frankly alarming degree to which e/riels seem to perceive Elain as if she were real person who needs all this protection and defence from """antis""" (adding three quotes on that because I find the term hilarious, honestly). Maybe it's just what the algorithm is showing me but it seems to me that this rampant, aggressive, near feral attitude of e/riels trying to prove they're the only ones who care about Elain and everyone else is, in their eyes, almost an evil caricature out to hate on her is so prevalent these days? I see plenty of rational ones too, but the vocal ones (that I see) seem to have lost their grip on reality vs fiction.

It's always "we care what Elain wants and Elucien's don't" isn't it?

So what they're saying is they are happy for Elain's character to end up with a guy who hasn't thought of a future with her beyond his sexual fantasies, called her a mistake before Rhys even spoke to him, can't admit to being over the female he loved for centuries, doesn't think Elain can handle the trove, gave her zero credit for her part in the war and felt a spark in his chest over the thought of another females joy simply because "it's what she wants" (though we actually don't have canon evidence that what Elain wanted from Az was anything more than a hookup).

These are books so what she wants honestly doesn't matter because her arc isn't over and SJM has the final say on what she wants (something that she has proven to have no issues changing up for her FMC) but say she was a real person. Say your best friend wanted a guy who felt better after spending time with a different girl, who wanted a guy who didn't think of a future with her beyond a night of hooking up, and they'd be completely supportive of that simply because "it's what she wants"?

My sister WANTED to stay married to a guy who was verbally abusive because she has low self esteem issues. While we accepted that it was her life and therefore she made her own choices we weren't required to be excited about it. We were allowed to see how unhappy the situation made her despite her inability to leave at the time, we were allowed to acknowledge how bad he was for her. We were allowed to hope that someday she'd meet someone who was better for her.

To me it's a very immature frame of mind to think that the people who care for you, truly care for you (and are not just motivated by their own desires) need to be happy with what you want when those people often are able to view how those things are unhealthy for you. We are at times our own worst enemy and when we're struggling with things like trauma we don't always make the best decisions. Elucien's are able to spot this behavior in Elain right now especially when she herself confirmed in SF that she still has trauma despite her attempts at find some sort of purpose in the NC. We are able to clearly see how she's choosing to avoid her real problems in favor of fixating on something that gives her a shot of dopamine which, while understandable after great change and loss, is not the way to go about having real character growth.

Does Mor not also have purpose in the NC? But is Mor making the best decisions for her own personal life at this point in the series? The same can be said of Elain's character.

We've all witnessed how Sarah writes a FMC wanting one guy only to start the deterioration of his character so that her eventually wanting another makes sense to us.

Feyre loved Tamlin to the point she was willing to die for him in book 1 but the author hammered home the red flags in book 2 paving the way for Rhys.

Aelin loved Chaol in book 2 of the TOG series only to for Sarah to write his later actions as being something she was unable to forgive, paving the way for her to eventually fall for Rowan (after having no romantic interest in him at the start).

Lucien was introduced as a possible love interest for Elain when the author mated them in book 2 (a very simple fact that proves that if they do end up together Sarah went the route of what SHE wanted and not fanservice since mates getting together is the hallmark of a fated mates author). But instead of ruining Lucien as a possible love interest for Elain, instead of writing him as doing something problematic that makes us understand why he's not the guy for Elain, she has continually written him to be supportive of what she wants, going out of his way to do what is best for her, has him acknowledge her bravery in the war, has him meet her father and realize what a good man he was, has him stare at Elain and only Elain with longing two years after their bond snapped. A lot like what we saw with Rhys for Feyre or Cassian for Nesta, where they longed for the females despite them pushing them away.

If Sarah did not want Elucien's to have hope that they might overcome any current obstacles she would have gone out of her way to show us exactly why he's not the right guy for Elain despite what anti's claim Elain wants right now. Because again, what Elain wants can change and precedence shows us what a FMC wants often does. Not to mention we don't know the exact reasons Elain has withdrawn from Lucien meaning there might be some deeply meaningful explanation for it in the same way we saw with Nesta for Cassian.

You know whose character she did begin to tarnish though? Az when it comes to Elain. He looked sweet towards her in ACOWAR and FAS but in SF he was petty, childish, jealous. He went off half-cocked at how he'd easily defeat Lucien (who is most certainly a future HL and by default will automatically have more power than Az will ever have once his powers manifest, Lucien who controlled the fiercest warrior of the Illyrians with a single word), she wrote him as never once acknowledging how Elain also saved him in the war, how she saved Cassian and Nesta during the war, how she saved Briar during the war. Sarah wrote Az has never having thought of a future with Elain beyond his sexual fantasies. She wrote Az very quickly moving past the events of Solstice with Elain and showing admiration for another female, believing in that females ability to take care of herself, having that female spark something in is chest that is a thing of secret lovely beauty.

It's fine if some people still like the idea of Az and Elain but let's not fool ourselves, it's clear that the author is not writing Az as being the good guy when it comes to her. She gave him the Tamlin treatment when it comes to Elain and we all know what that spells out.

I think the most amusing thing for me will be hearing what anti's have to say when / if Elucien is written as endgame after years of telling us that we don't care for Elain. When the author herself decides Lucien is the best thing for her, when the author herself decides to have them fall in love, when the author herself has left us those clues all along, are they going to accuse the fated mates author who created this world and these characters of not caring about a character they themselves had zero part in bringing to life?

[misscammiedawn]

50 Days of HypnoKink - Day 49: Hypno in Media

My heavens... we made it to the finish line. Tomorrow is the final day.

I wanted to save an obvious one for the end because I do so enjoy MC in fiction so very much. So much, in fact, that I made a Twitter thread with 110 recommendations and never even came close to emptying my resources.

I know so many of these scenes, both that Twitter thread and this page are skimming the surface.

I'll be using some of those recommendations here but let's divide by category:

Film

So let's get the obvious out of the way. You have

Trance

A Danny Boyle thriller with a terrible plot and Rosario Dawson as a hypnotherapist trying to get hidden information from James McAvoy's mind. Silly movie but one that doesn't get brought up a lot. Dawson learned hypnosis to get into the role.

Candyman

Horror movie in which the director literally hypnotized the actress so any time she was being stalked by the titular killer she looked completely entranced. Link above is an interview discussing this.

Hypnotic

HORRIBLE movie on Netflix but Sleepyhead and I have hosted a number of watch parties and let me tell you, this is the PERFECT movie to watch with a bunch of rowdy hypnokinksters. The therapist is unethical to a laughable degree and his office looks like it's inside of the Death Star. He's a living breathing red flag. The movie does have a really hot freeze scene, a good ragdoll and the dollification sequence. It's just enjoyable because it's terrible. Check CWs first though, this movie has a bunch of things that can make it an uncomfortable viewing experience.

The Great Hypnotist

This is a Not For Daja movie. A Chinese movie that doesn't get brought up a lot. Like Trance above it is a thriller with some twists and turns that I don't really want to spoil.

Stir of Echoes

A visualization of a dissociation induction designed to make a person view events on a screen so they are separate from the memory. It's a remarkably well done scene.

Now You See Me 1/2

The hypnosis in these movies is STUPID and I love it. The first movie has a punchline that every time Mark Rufallo's character makes a frustrated comment people who Woody Harrelson has hypnotized will start acting as if they're in an orchestra. Second movie has a twin Woody Harrelson as an evil hypnotist and he uses a pizza box as an evil induction. It's amazing.

Sherlock Holmes Woman in Green

This induction is one of the coolest I've seen in a film and I try my hardest to channel the energy of this when I am doing a relaxation focused scene.

TV

Charlies Angels

This is bar none my favorite hypnosis scene in any fiction. The typewriter induction is amazing, the hypnotist has such a smooth voice, the entranced gazes are lovely. It's just perfect. Heck, the link above is "hypnosis scenes" from the episode and is 26 minutes long. From a single episode of television.

Doctor Who

Sarah Jane gets hypnotized so often that I could make a list purely from her.

Legion

I just wanna link this one as it's one of those scenes that works so much better without context and the aesthetics are incredible. Plus who doesn't like Aubrey Plaza?

Quick Bonus Animation Round

Carmen Sandiego (Neflix) has a ton of mind control including the bad end to the interactive movie.

Totally Spies is a meme for a reason

And this one is a reason many of us are here <3

Comics

DC vs Vampires

I think the page speaks for itself. "Hypnosis isn't lying, Diana. It's speaking to your vulnerability."

Korra

This sequence of Asami, brainwashed to hate the avatar, being deprogrammed is so good that someone on AO3 did an incredible fan-fiction which may well be one of my favorite hypnokink stories of all time.

Super Mario Comic

I bring this one up as it was one of my earliest moments of "...oh... this is kind of making me feel some kind of way."

Video Games

A note that a full directory of video games featuring Mind Control can be found at mindcontrol.fun the MC Games Wiki, run by @soveryverytired

Nyx Gaming (Featured game: Enthralled)

Nyx do incredible games which are designed to hypnotize the viewer and their consent practices are wonderful. They recently teamed up with Secret Subject to release a vampire enthrallment game and let me tell you, there is not a single word in that synopsis that doesn't make me happy.

Mind Melting Massaging Machine

The best tool for VR hypnosis. Upload custom files and program spirals, subliminals and chose between static spiral or headtracking. I have had so much fun with this over the years. There's a desktop version too but VR is optimal for this experience.

Spiral Clicker

It's such a simple concept. Click on the character and watch their will go away. Spiral Clicker is backed with a fun little universe, fun characters both original and community sourced, amazing art and a clever little gameplay loop that is quite addictive. Careful, the game features a constant spiral, you may find yourself falling in to trance. Don't worry. The game will wake you up. You can even ask the game to include suggestions for you :)

The sequel is being worked upon now and I cannot wait <3

Music Videos

Anna Soares - Hypnodoll (NSFW)

Straight up just a song and music video about hypnokink. If you click anything in this thread, click this one.

Little Big - Hypnodancer:

Silly antics but a fun music video.

Pharrell Williams - Hypnotize U

It's just Pharrell hanging out in a mansion with his hypnotized harem.

Grimes - We Appreciate Power

It's dronekink baby.

Andamiro - Hypnotize

Maid hypnotizes their employer.

I could do so many more in all areas. But the point is, media is hypnohorny. I never went over advertisements (UK ones especially), books, musicals (Phantom and Next To Normal for instance), anime (Sailor Moon) or manga.

But I write about a bunch more in my Twitter thread.

---

Day 48: Stealth Inductions

FULL SCHEDULE MASTER POST

FINAL Day 50: Presentation

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Tenth doc vs astarion?

Oof, really hard call actually. Like, don't get me wrong, Astarion is a walking talking red flag, but just because the Tenth Doctor is my favorite doctor does not mean he would be a good boyfriend.

Strange has it sounds, I'm going to go with Astarion.

The Tenth Doctor can't even tell his friends he loves them. Astarion, although it takes a lot of time and pain to get there, can. Selfish as it might sound, I would want to be with someone who chooses me first.

(Also, let's face it the potion of platonic soul mate with the Tenth Doctor has already been filled)

GIVE ME TWO FICTIONAL CHARACTERS AND I’LL TELL YOU WHICH ONE I’D RATHER DATE

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

Trey: *Trying to explain Riddle is that way because of his mom*

Me: Give me a minute as I pull up my ‘Trauma Doesn’t Excuse Sh*t Behavior’ PowerPoint.

Say it with me, everyone: an explanation is not an excuse 😊

You know, the other day I was watching one of Ryan George's Pitch Meetings and when Producer Guy asked Writer Guy how the audience would root for the villain of the franchise and the response was "he's handsome" which basically explains most people's reactions to fictional men.

Prepare for incoming rant that has little to do with the ask

This probably might come as a shock because one of the main appeal of twst would be the whole villainous aspect/Disney Villain fanbase but I don't really like villains that much, at least, not romantically. Like don't get me wrong, I think that they're incredible characters and it would be so fun to sit down with one and have a conversation with one. Villain songs are so fun (I was literally singing ‘This Day Aria’ to myself the other day I haven’t heard that song in like a decade) and you can tell that that characters like Scar or Hades or Shere Khan or Jafar or Maleficent are having so much fun being deliciously evil and even the more serious, complex ones like Loki or Frollo are fun to pick apart so yeah I understand the hype. I just always rooted for the heroes and I guess heroic characters have always been more my type.

My mother absolutely loves Erik Destler and is forever salty that Christine chose Raoul (despite my many many attempts at arguing why Raoulstine is the superior couple - smol primary school me could not understand why my mum liked the chandelier dropper and was deeply concerned), my best friend has been in love with Heathcliffe since we were eleven, and my little sister has literally told me that her type of fictional men are the toxic red flags (not exactly word for word but she did explain why she likes bad boys over good boys when I was complaining about how my type (wholesome soft boys) always get sidelined for the arrogant, snarky bad boys - we're also very diametrically opposed on our views of friends to lovers (my s++ tier all time favourite and her loathing) vs enemies to lovers (I can't really stand it - Pride and Prejudice is the only exception - and that's literally all she consumes) so that might also be a reason).

Like, I understand the appeal of a Byronic hero (Mr Darcy has far too much power) - a closed off, broody man that hates everything but you? And will burn down the world to keep you warm? I can respect that there are people who dig that. But their not really for me.

The mild bout of insanity thirteen year old me had where I spent two months attracted to Edward Rochester is an outlier and should not have been counted (though that was during my wattpad phase so...)

But I can admit that I have yet to shake off my feelings for Dr Henry Jekyll, Victor Frankenstein and Dorian Gray (though to be fair, Mr Gabriel John Utterson the lawyer and cinnamon roll artist boy Basil Hallward do own my heart). And yes, Jeremy Jordan did make me question my morality as he did make my feelings for Light Yagami be too positive to be sane for a brief moment (Touta Matsuda is still my man, don't worry). But apart from them, literally all of my faves are what you'd call your traditional, morally upright heroes.

Basically what I'm saying is that my perception might be skewed because I've never had the whole 'villains are cooler' mindset when it came to stories. Yes, I love the villains as characters but I always liked their heroic foils more (goodness is just so attractive to me). You get lots of amazing heroic protagonists that have horribly tragic backstories and they're the ones I always fall for because the idea of being a kind sweetheart despite the world being anything but is just *chef's kiss* that's a kind of strength that's so swoon-worthy.

I guess that's why it's harder for me to look past the characters' actions in twst is because, well, they chose to do everything they did. They made a conscious choice to be terrible, despite understanding the consequences. Riddle may have been brainwashed into becoming a tyrant by his mother but he still admitted that he knew he was being horrible - he understands the concept of morality, of good and bad, and he willingly and deliberately did everything he did.

I suppose this text post I found on Pinterest would explain my point better:

[starsreminisce]

tbh even E/riels are disappointed with acosf but they don't say it to others although they talk about it among themselves lol I used to be one so I should know. acosf was Nesta's books everyone expected to see Elain more bc she was close to her and they also heard about the training so they were 100% sure they were going to see E/riel training scenes (the very one they accuse Gwynriel for being boring and they don't want Nessian 2.0 lmao) so when they didn't get that they started commenting on Gwynriel post of how they wanted Elain instead of Gwyn in those scenes (specially the shadows dancing around Gwyn and the private dagger lesson) and that's when the toxicity started and I knew this place was not for me anymore. even tho I used to be a bypass in the fandom and not actually fixated on the books I saw enough threats and bullying, it was bad. I came back on acotar fandom this summer after a very long time and even now the reek of jealousy from that side of the fandom is recognizable. the pure ignorance and delusion is quite amusing, they know E/riel won't happen but they have to make it look like they don't so their years of being obsessed with a fictional ship and bulling other fans, the author and publisher won't got to waist yk. bc when I read acosf for the first time I knew Gwynriel is endgame and even before that I wasn't a huge E/riel fan but I wanted to tolerate them for the possibility of them happening and not Elucien (after the end of acofas we weren't sure who would be endgame and I was quite sad bc I was more incline toward Elain and Lucien)

anyway if they were so confidence in their ship they wouldn't do none of that and let others enjoy their time being in the fandom.

Oop that’s some piping hot tea right there.

Honestly, why couldn't they just be as chill as Azris shippers?

Azris shippers understand that the likelihood of their ship is slim, but they can manifest and hope for the best. Through Love, all is possible!

Yes, it's quite possible! I can passionately support Gwynriel and Azris in tandem. E/riels can readily accept that Elucien is the endgame couple while finding delight in the hints and potentials of E/riel until the next book's release when perspectives may change. Although there may still be Neris shippers out there, I haven't observed any significant disrespect directed toward Nessian. It's possible that I might not be searching thoroughly, but it's heartening that it's not as prevalent as the mainstream rivalry between Elucien and Gwynriel vs. E/riel.

I perceived ACOSAF as a retcon of Elucien, as Elain's abrupt shift from suggesting Lucien move to Velaris to ignoring him lacked a clear explanation of their deteriorating relationship. More on this later.

I get why E/riel shippers held onto hope after ACOSAF, even though I viewed their connection as more platonic. Azriel's deep love for Mor was abundantly clear in the series, and the Hybern scene hinted at the endgame couples, particularly Moriel, which was reinforced by SJM's deleted Pinterest.

In my view, Gwyn embodies a blend of Mor and Elain, sharing Mor's trauma, the ability to fit in with "one of the boys," a girl-next-door quality, and an interest in combat, while also displaying Elain's quiet and reserved nature.

On a more serious note, it's entirely possible to appreciate a ship without resorting to belittling anyone, whether it's a character without proper canon context or an actual person. Doubling down and resorting to insults becomes even more embarrassing. Perhaps this is due to a reluctance to acknowledge the scarcity of E/riel content to draw from.

Ironically, my anti-E/riel posts stem from my restraint in responding to most of their takes but they aren't inclined to listen, and I lack a suitable outlet to release my frustrations.

Additionally, I take issue with the way many books romanticize red flags as desirable relationship traits. It's crucial to recognize that Azriel's hesitancy to be his true self around Elain is an unhealthy dynamic, and it's not Elain's responsibility to change that. When someone acknowledges their actions as a mistake, it's wise to believe them and move on. This situation is reminiscent of the problematic "Twin Flame" concept, which often excuses negative behavior under the guise of a deeper connection.

But, thats why I don't like E/riel in a nutshell.

Gwyn and Lucien are fictional characters written to have a lot of trauma in their backstories. While they are not real, I can easily consider what you say about them as a reflection of what you truly believe to real people who have gone through something similar.

[goingrampant]

Watching the season four premiere of The Boys...

It seems like Stormfront is still carrying the villains despite Aya Cash no longer being on the show... I rather think Eric Kripke pulled a Ruby with the character, a fridging of a great female villain with sexist undertones, just that he stumbled into a situation where no one wants to criticize him because the character is a Nazi and everyone performatively hates her instead of analyzing the work of fiction as a work of fiction. (The performative hatred of Stormfront is just bizarre. Harassing a Jewish actress for portraying a Nazi in a work of fiction about the Nazis being bad is pointless aggression.)

After killing off Ruby, Supernatural had a gap for charismatic villains, and you can tell they were scrambling to make Ruby 2.0 with the various derivations of the Lilith figure, mostly God's sister (I forget her name). Likewise, Stormfront was killed off, and now they're replacing her with Firecracker, who is exactly the same but less charismatic without Aya Cash and doesn't have the strength of the character being developed though time on the show like Stormfront would have been if she wasn't killed off.

I feel like the woman in "Red Flags" would appreciate the sex scene in 4x02. I swear the show is leading up to a series finale in which Homelander ejaculates straight into the camera. It will also be the first episode in 3D. 😉

I was translating the Nazi stuff for my father, trying to explain what they were talking about and how the spoofs were not much more outlandish than the things they were referencing. He cares a lot about the threat Nazis represent, but I don’t think he knows that much about them...

Me: (explains what "clovergender" means)

Him: "Weird."

Me: "Yes, it's weird. Nazis are weird."

Nazi supe Firecracker dropping a reference to "The Storm" was obviously a Q-Anon reference but is also thematically appropriate considering they're Stormchasers, followers of Stormfront.

I like that the show writers are making the antisemitism of the far-right American nationalists explicit. I took issue with them just depicting bad guys repeating Nazi dog whistle talking points instead of making it clear who they are. At a time when antisemitism is on the rise, we can't afford to be wishy-washy. Even Stormfront wasn't overtly antisemitic. I don't like Firecracker as Stormfront 2.0, but at least she represents the evil of the Nazis authentically instead of leaning into Ilsa sensationalisn.

Good development of Frenchie. I like that they finally made his bisexuality overt instead of hinted. I also like seeing some effect of him taking hard drugs besides that just being a background element to freak out Hughie.

Sage is a great new villain. I like that she isn't naturally a fascist but just assumes the role when she agrees to work for Homelander and does so excellently. I suppose she's also a bit of a Stormfront 2.0 in her plotting aspect but distinctive from both Stormfront and Firecracker. She is an anti-racist facilitating a fascist uprising based around supe vs. human bigotry she probably doesn't believe in. That makes for a wicked villain and compelling political commentary.

Whenever Homelander struggles to parent Ryan, I have to wonder how things would be different if Stormfront was still around to co-parent. I like to think she'd help Ryan be more covert when he sneaks out and train him to be a better manipulator. "You're lying... We shouldn't be able to tell!" (I'll make a fix-it fic when I'm done with CotV. 😉)

The depiction of transgender people is mixed. They're influenced by both the past trends of transphobia on the main show and the new trans-positivity on Gen V. The fact that Nazis demonize trans people as part of their antisemitism isn't shied away from, but they're still antagonistic to trans people being accepted in society.

I'd say this season effectively captures the tension of living in a far-right environment. It's very tight and well-paced. I'm looking forward to seeing the rest.

[jimbo-thy]

The Promised Power Scaling Essay

I managed to fall asleep while I was typing some thoughts on power scaling fan-fiction, so now I'm finishing what I started. Much yapping beneath the break.

Part One: Power Scaling and Fan Fiction

The best place to start is to recap how I even got here. As a vague fan of anime and superheroes, I get recommended power scaling videos a lot on YouTube. I'm not too big into the power scaling community, but I know my way around their language and methods. It's good fun to get into as a super hero nerd, and I'm a touch too aromantic to reliably engage with the other half of super hero fan fiction.

That being said...

At the time of my initial rant, I didn't watch this video. I really wanted to know what was up, but the red flags are apparent to anyone who has observed a power scaler in the wild. Dragonball fan, "Solos," etc. All things considered, it's not really a standout example of this particular genre. I just knew it would be the video equivalent of junk food, and would rather not convince YouTube that I wanted to see more junk content.

I have watched this video (using incognito mode) but my thoughts on it will come later. This is more about the big picture of power scaling and my opinions on fan fiction rather than the minutia.

So, I didn't watch it, I just made a dumb joke out of the thumbnail and tried to move on. I did not move on. The thumbnail alone got me thinking, "Why does Kars win?" Not "how," but "why?"

Like I said, although I don't really interact with the community of power scalers, I do think about these kind of things. Albeit, not in the "traditional" sense of death battles and power creep. I subscribe to the words of Stan Lee:

"The person who would win in a fight is the person that the scriptwriter wants to win!"

Power scaling is fan fiction, and I use fan fiction to put extra time into the themes and characterization of the characters, not just their powers. But "They win because I say so" is the lame answer! And it's oftentimes dissatisfying to see a character with awesome powers getting beaten by another character that they should be able to beat. (Especially if the author is being disingenuous)

So this leads me to the conclusion that, especially in the superhero genre, victory and strength are very crucial themes to explore with your character. Oftentimes, their power is a key part of their characterization. So a writer has to at least make an effort to stop and think "Which traits can I use to explore victory with my character?"

So lets bring it back to Kars. I'm not going to make him fight all of Jujutsu Kaisen, so I want to pick out a character who is thematically interesting for him to fight. Gojo and Sukuna are "heavy hitters" and bring the most power for the power scaling contest, but also not really thematically applicable to Kars other than being strong as fuck.

This is, admittedly, where my knowledge of JJK breaks down. But preliminary research has been enough. I actually went into this thinking Mahito might be have been a good match, considering he has access to visually similar powers. The fight could also serve as a foil to Kars' mastery over the body vs Mahito's mastery over the soul. It gives Kars an excellent opportunity to learn about the soul and its inherent properties.

But preliminary research on Kenjaku gave me something even stronger. He intends to optimize cursed energy, to test the limits. And to achieve such, he is experimenting with humans and curses. Kars is the ultimate life-form, something that would attract Kenjaku's attention. Likewise, a human trying to replicate the process of Kars would attract Kars' attention. These characters would be directly at odds with each other.

You may notice some parallels with shipping discussion here...

So who do I want to win? Well, I like Kars more than Kenjaku and a villain obsessed with being the pinnacle of life stopping another villain from transcending life is very interesting to me. But in a 1v1, Kars wins pretty easily unless Kenjaku has the "Domain Expansion: Go to Space" up his sleeve. So how do we write a good story between these two characters? How do we make it interesting?

Part Two: Jojo's Bizarre Conflicts

In my mind, Kars is the advent of the "impossible challenge" writing style of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. The impossible challenge is an idea I learned from Matt Colville, where the villain puts a task in front of the hero that is impossible for them to complete, but the hero "changes the conditions of the test" and thwarts the villain's plan.

Joseph Joestar spends the majority of his story in control of every situation. Even in fights where it seems he's on the back foot, his signature style is trickery and mind games. Nothing is ever impossible, he was in control the whole time.

Then Kars becomes the ultimate life form, with 400 IQ, the ability to rewrite his genes at whim, immunity to solar radiation, and blazingly asexual.

Joseph Joestar cannot beat Kars. It is impossible. He has lost all control of the situation. He has one choice left: to run away screaming...

And by doing so, the conditions of the test are changed! Joseph's goal is no longer to kill Kars, its to lead the murderous ultimate life-form away from the people he cares about. In this, he can succeed, even at the cost of his own life. He believes that if he can buy a little time, the others will find a way to win in his stead.

The fight from here is a miraculous series of events. Joseph throws Kars into a volcano, Kars survives the heat. Joseph accidentally causes the volcano to launch them both into the upper atmosphere, Kars is literally about to just fly away unscathed before sheer dumb luck launches the ultimate into deep space.

The villains to follow Kars would be similarly impossible to defeat. DIO's time stop, Kira's Bites the Dust, Diavolo, Pucci is in a class by himself, Valentine's Love Train, Wonder of U. These powers are all Impossible challenges, only defeated once Jojo changes their approach in a dramatic way.

Even Jotaro, famous for pulling a timestop out of his ass, defeats DIO by changing his approach. Most fights against Jotaro are villains who can avoid fighting him head-on. Even during his early fight against Kakyoin, the only way Kakyoin's Hierophant Green could face Jotaro is by taking a hostage. But DIO's the World is the first stand that can truly go head-to-head with Star Platinum. And in conjunction with DIO's innate vampire powers, Jotaro can't just rush DIO down with devastating blows at the earliest opportunity. He has to slowly wear DIO down psychologically until he makes one fatal mistake. Meanwhile, the villain gets to employ Jotaro's usual strategy of overwhelming speed and power.

So we see this pattern of writing take over after Kars is defeated. The villain sets up the rules, and the hero finds a way to break them. It's a conflict style that is much more prevalent in more "mature" media.

Media such as Jujutsu Kaisen.

Part Three: Powers Based on Rules

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and Jujutsu Kaisen share this key aspect of their battles. The abilities the characters use against each other have rules. You can think of it like a strategy card game. The core rules are rules that everyone has to follow, such as "draw a card on your turn" or "you may play only one card per turn." In a series like JJBA or JJK, these core rules are things like "only stands can damage stands" or "only those with cursed energy can see curses."

In this same hypothetical strategy game, there is a way to win. Lets say it's by scoring a certain number of points. Each turn, you want to play cards that increase your score so you'll have the most points. In superhero media, these are the basic punchy fights. Important for winning, but not strategically complex.

But then, you have the cards that don't give you any points, but they change the rules of the game. "Draw two cards" or "You may play three cards this turn" These are the core of what makes this card game a strategy game and they are what makes the game so interesting. You can have a fun game about numbers that simply adds score until the game is won, but it stimulates the brain more to think about which rule-changing cards gives you a more reliable win.

That's why the rules-heavy powers in JJBA and JJK are thematically compelling. They establish new parameters for victory and prevent every fight from ending in one flashy signature super move.

So how does this relate to Kars vs Kenjaku and power scaling?

Part Four: Kars vs JJK

Well that's just it, our problem as a writer is that we need to find a way for a rivalry between Kars and Kenjaku to be interesting to the reader. Again, if Kars and Kenjaku are just meeting up behind the Denny's for a 1v1, then Kars is already inside ordering breakfast. (He doesn't need to eat, but what else do you do after killing your rival?)

So we need to set up the rules of their engagement. And to bring credit to a notorius fandom, career power scalers do set up rules. But where they'll say things like "verse equalization" or "stat matching," I'm more interested in "what will either character do to prevent the other from winning?"

Kars is the easy one here. The arrogant ultimate life-form will simply terminator bee-line to wherever he thinks Kenjaku is. If he doesn't know, he'll hang back and do some research and investigation.

Kenjaku has the hard task of masking his location from the smartest life-form on the planet. To be fair, he was pretty good at masking his location from an entire organization of conceited and self-interested sorcerers, so it might actually be hard for Kars to catch wind of any schemes.

But for this fight to even be a possibility, Kars has to know about Kenjaku and his plans somehow. So now the writer is tasked with finding a way for Kars to learn about Kenjaku.

Earlier, we established that Kenjaku would be interested in an ultimate lifeform. Therefore, it is plausible that he would be the one to provoke Kars anyway. And as the sneaky schemer he is, Kenjaku would likely use a whole web of conspiracy to pull this off, ensuring he's never in a 1v1 with Kars while slowly nearing his goals.

Thus begins a long cat-and-mouse game where the ultimate lifeform attempts to eradicate a spirit user before they can learn the secrets of his ascendancy. Sounds like a Jojo story already. And with the archetypal mastermind villain Kenjaku pulling the strings, Kars can fight any number of JJK characters in his adventure. We don't need to worry about who is more powerful than the other because the characters are now given thematic reasons to win or lose.

Part Five: Power Scaling Complacency

So what's the point of all this? Why invent a whole fan fiction based on a thumbnail I saw in passing once? If power scaling is junk food content, why bother giving it so much engagement? Nerds will have their hobbies, and they'll do it how they want. Trying to change that is to deny people from having fun in their own way.

Because I did some reflection on how power scaling looks from the outside. Most superhero fans have found a rogue Dragonball fan in the comments of their favorite media, pondering the age old question of "Can they beat Goku?" Engagement with one of these people is a losing battle. They take pride in believing that their favorite character could beat yours in a fight with no further depth.

This perception on power scalers has created a strange pocket in fandom spaces. A source of fan fiction which has isolated itself into its own toxic echo-chamber genre. They have their own language and jargon, go on long discussions about character feats, and get into fights that would rival the most inflammatory of shipping wars. It's a wild ride to listen to the extreme mental gymnastics some of them will go through to defend their blorbos being number one.

Nerds will have their own fun, yes, but I want to extend an invitation for more people to break out of the power scaling echo chamber and start breaking down their death battles with a more critical eye. To stop thinking in terms of "feats" and "power" and start thinking in terms of themes.

On the other hand, I also want to extend an invitation to people outside the power scaling fandom to give it a try. You don't need to count up feats or calculate the tonnes of TNT that your character's punch is equivalent to. You can have a high literacy perspective on the notion of death battles and power scaling, writing compelling stories as two characters start butting heads in a cross-over fan fiction. Just like shipping, it's not for everyone, but the themes of hatred, strength, and violence are prime material to explore without the clouded lens of competition and toxicity that defines the power scaling fandom.

[weaselbeaselpants]

About fandom smexuality, aging-up, age gaps vs CSEM

The thing I wish people could understand is the debate over whether or not loli/shota/cub/drawn 'artwork' is inherently cp is a different debate than the fandom questions of:

" Is making a child character into an adult for *reasons* akin to irl grooming? "

" Is making a childincanon-now-adult-character date an always-was-adultincanon-character akin to irl grooming? "

" Is making absolutely everything into a sexy pinuplegalage adult good for me? "

" Can you write about these topics at all? "

" What is someone's mental age vs physical age when it comes to fantasy fiction involving shit like gods, monsters, shapeshifting talking animals having smex? "

" Is it wrong to dismiss a character's age when they otherwise don't act or look the age they're supposed to be +are treated as sexualized adult in canon? " ((kinda specific; I'm mostly thinking of Ariel and Jasmine being canonically 16 and 14 for some reason.))

All these above debates are worth talking about. And by talking about, I do mean having discourse over because it's unavoidable. No one is going to agree 100%, I think that's just the nature of sexualizing things or maybe just fiction in general. Something that may be tame to you can be triggering/traumatizing for another person -especially if that person is a survivor of any kind of ab*se. You are not responsible for their well-being, B U T, you ARE responsible for yourself and not being a dick to survivors. I also think it's such a 'your millage may vary';'depending on the situation in canon v fanon'-shit going on.

f.e. shipping the themepark young man version of the Mad Hatter with the adult woman Alice that walk around Disneyland and are their own characters apart from their animated counterparts but clearly are still meant to illicit those versions-- I can be sus and grossed out and designate it as one of my own notps all I want, same with Lydiajuice and Fluttercord. I DO find these ships genuinely 'icky' to me because I can't get over the association w the animated versions. BUT- knowing the context of what people are into it and how, I'm not going to call that shit amoral. It's not. I'm just allowed to dislike it. Cope.

Ultimately people are right that it's sus how we keep making underage characters into smexy adults to appeal to adults with sexual and/or shipping tastes. Like 'can we seriously not comprehend characters in a non sexual (or in fandom, non shiptastic) context EVER about anything?' is a genuine debate worth having.

People are also right that susbehavior can be excused with legitimate circumstances; like how coming of age stories inherently mean minors discussing sexuality because teens are sexually imbalanced and sex interested. There's a LOT of talk to be had there and shade to be delivered.

As an asexual who's dabled in, and has friends, who make and sell adult art for adults, I just don't see this problem[i.e. aging up minor characters into adults] as an inherent red flag.

Many honest nonpredatory people have adultified versions of their childhood crushes. There is a porno version of Alice in Wonderland where Alice was a sexually adventurous twenty-something getting down with other adults in furrsuits and singing. No really. Me in my new fangled respect for the og novel can be all "GAWD why do we have to make this sexy?" all I want -AND YET-- I'm also glad they made the porno version of the story for adults ABOUT adults. Good job. I'm sure lots of people looking for that thing loved it. Let cringe adults be cringe adults, damnit.

Sexuality and sexual preference (not orientation) IS messy and complicated even if you do all this by yourself and without a partner.

~End of part 1.

[ruthlesslistener]

It's been so long, but I just want to get this off my chest cause what you dis really messed me up to this day.

Being accused of being a pedophile over headcanoning that a small creature whose form is that of a mysterious goo is an adult really ruined my experience with the Hollow Knight community and myself. I saw Ghost as a little sanrio character cause as an Asian who grew up in an Asian country, I was surrounded by little mascot characters whose height did not tell their age at all. You were one of my fave fic writers out there before all this, so seeing you sprout how people like me who have different headcanons are someone dangerous really messed me up as a survivor of abuse. I'm not telling you this to harass you like what your followers may insist cause last I checked they coddled you so much during this time, I'm telling you this cause you ruined one of my special interests with your redtagging. I hope you are happy. I think you pretty much rekindled one of my triggers too: Seeing popular fanfic writers redtag and harass others over headcanons.

Gonna block you again, but I'm just going to say this once: please be kind to others and remember that shit like this isn't enough to say someone is a predator. It just creates and breeds harassment and a person like you with thousands of followers should know better and be more responsible.

Anon, I truly am sorry that my reaction had such a profoundly negative effect on you. That was not my intention and I am genuinely distressed that I caused you such upset. If it helps, this experience actually did greatly sour my experience with the fandom as well, because I did not intend to have that effect and I did not want that effect. I was very, very tempted to simply delete my blog and start all over again specifically to erase any sort of concept of 'authority' that I might have in the fandom space, because the simple thought that someone might take my personal opinions and use them as an excuse to harass others just because I write fanfiction in my free time nearly gave me a panic attack. This isn't to draw the attention off of the fact that I hurt you- this is to drive home the fact that I am not in this fandom to be popular and there is nothing that I say that should be treated as word of god or used to harass others. I should not have that sort of power. Nor do I want it. It honestly makes my skin crawl and if I could wipe my name from everyone's minds while also leaving my work out there for others to find, then I would.

However, I never thought that you specifically were a pedophile, and I was in the wrong to say something that could be constructed as such. I spoke without thinking and without understanding that there was that headcanon beyond unsavory characters in the first place, my interactions with which greatly tarnished my perception of the headcanon because I didn't know any better. Genuinely- I went and asked the people I know in discord (who were likely most of those fans that 'coddled' me), and they told me I was wrong and all the ways that I was wrong, which gave me a big 'oh shit' moment. That's why I shifted my argument to simply explaining why I didn't like it- because yeah, I still fucking don't, but to me it's about as impactful as if someone likes pie vs cake. This shit, at the end of the day, isn't real. It's pixels on a screen and drawing on paper. When I spoke about how it left a bad taste in my mouth and how I had poor experiences with it in the past, that was about a personal bias and experience talking about a broad concept, not anyone specifically. Just because I considered it a red flag due to prior experiences, as stated, does not mean that it is a certainty of danger. I do not at all think that ones fictional preferences are honest indicators of the type of people they are in real life, just indicators that they're people I wouldn't get along with.

(fuckin hell, I'm fucking riddled with red flags myself- just look at my propensity for gore and tragedy and dark, violent media. That's as much of a red flag as what I was talking about before, but I can't handle the imagery of the other for reasons I can't explain other than irrational brain stuff. I also fully expect other people to look at the shit I'm into with disgust and mistrust and to block me on sight- there's plenty of people I've never interacted with who've done that already. Can't blame them for that.)

As for the thing about Ghost being similar to Asian mascots- I genuinely had no idea that was even a thing. I understand that I am biased in this regard. I was raised in a western country who has very different means of telling stories than eastern ones, and not only that, I also grew up in a very closeted-in all forms of the world-household. I didn't have any access to media other than what my local library had until I was around 11, and that was pretty much limited to fanfiction and googling all the shit that my parents banned from me. So I made zero connection to the sort of cutesy mascots in Asian cultures and Ghost until you brought that point up just now. My apologies again on that one, it's genuinely a blind spot on my part and had I known that before I certainly would have taken that into account.

However- and I'm also saying this as someone who has also encountered abuse (though admittedly a very different kind, so I cannot understand nor will pretend to understand that I know how you feel): please also understand that there will be many instances in your life where people trigger you by accident, and they have no idea that they did so until you point it out. This does not mean that they were deliberately trying to harm you. In this case, I was not at all trying to target you specifically- I don't even know you. I had no idea that what I said was an honest-to-god trigger because the whole time I was operating under the assumption that I was talking about something being 'fucking gross' the same way that lasagna is fucking gross, not as in 'I think everyone who thinks this way are genuinely dangerous people'. That's also why I responded so defensively, and why people who knew what I meant came to defend me- because from my perspective, I was talking casually, and then was getting angry replies back about something I did not mean, which felt like I was having words being put into my mouth. And that is a trigger for me as well. Which made it an even bigger fucking mess.

(There is also- and I will now fully admit to this now bc fuck I'm tired of fucking around with these goddamn arbitrary social media rules- a desire to keep antis off my back by playing up my disgust and vitrol to the subject. I've been at the center of their harassment and nearly lost friends bc of people labeling me a proshipper, so I figured the safe way to deal with it is to simply overflaunt a preexisting disgust response so that people don't attack me or accuse me of being something I'm not again.)

I triggered you. I did not know that, but that is not an excuse. You, however, also triggered me, which made the whole mess even worse. Let me explain- I grew up as an autistic child in a highly confrontational household, with a parent who would either deliberately set up scenarios that I would fail at or look for reasons to get angry at so he could blow up at me, yelling abuse and sometimes resorting to physical violence. Because I was the eldest who was supposed to be 'responsible' and 'a good role model' to my younger siblings, this meant that I was second in line for him to take out his anger on. He put words in my mouth and implications I did not mean all the time just so that he wouldn't feel bad later about backing me into a corner, destroying my possessions, and threatening to kill my pets if he did not outright hit me (which he only ever held back on because he was afraid of someone finding the marks and him being taken to jail). Me crying or apologizing only ever made him angrier, but getting angry and aggressive in return made it blow over quicker. So did trying to explain myself, because it at least let me verbally work over that the response I got was irrational. That was why I responded so defensively when I got put into a similar situation here, which is something that I somewhat regret but also do not entirely feel terrible about because how the fuck else was I supposed to respond when I kept explaining myself and you did not listen to me.

We're both human. Humans are messy and flawed. I am not someone that you should look up to or hold on a pedestal in any way because of this, nor should anyone else- I'm literally just a 23 year old guy who's obsessed enough with a story to write stories based on it in my free time, not some sage or king or god. I did not call you a pedophile personally for thinking that a fuckload of pixels I thought was a child wasn't, and when I was explaining why I don't like it, I was explaining my personal bias, not some tried-and-true gospel of divining the true meaning of fiction over something that is- as we just proved- incredibly difficult to discuss due to how subjective it is. I still maintain that my discomfort is very real and that it has a genuine basis in my own experiences, but that doesn't mean that it's valid or any more morally pure than yours. At the end of the day, it's not real, and the actual reason why I dragged this whole dilemma on for so long was because of the nature of the discussion itself throwing up all my self-defense actions rather than anything else. If I knew that it was a genuine trigger instead of fandom wank, and if I stopped getting asks in the first place, then I would have shut the fuck up a long time ago.

Def. recommend keeping me blocked, because while I certainly wouldn't mind reconciliation of a sort, I also think that our triggers overlap and that's not something that either of us should have to deal with. And I'm not talking about the Ghost headcanon either, because I no longer have that shitty knee-jerk reaction of 'oh god another cringe porn artist' to it, and- believe it or not!- have friends who are into completely different interpretations and ships and the like that I personally really dislike that I am also completely chill with because its my irrational meat brain that's the problem. I'm talking about the fact that when you're triggered, you get defensive and start jumping to conclusions (not unfounded ones btw) that unfortunately triggers my own defensive responses because jumping to conclusions is a stupid-niche trigger for me in turn. Shit's not good for either of us and I think you'd be way better off without me in your life.

And again, I really am very sorry that you thought I called you a pedophile. As I have said before, that was not my intention, and I have never believed that. I also will straight-up fight anyone who takes my irrational kneejerk dislike reaction and uses it to attack you, because that was ALSO not what I intended in the slightest and the thought of someone using my inability to shut up about my special interests as a means of 'word-of-god-ing' my likes and dislikes into fandom wank makes me want to hurl.