#me up. idk. :((((( just thoughts I guess :( maybe i'll write a comic about this

[spoopy-sloth]

anyways, I think a regular might have opened a pandora box for me because I've been getting unwanted advances the last 72 hours :(((

[bloggingboutburgers]

hi! so, uh, I wasn't really sure where to send this, but you seem nice and (hopefully) have some advice. I'm aroace, specifically sapphic-oriented cupioromantic ace, and I think I have a squish on this one girl. or maybe mesh? idk. all I know is that I really like her and want to be close to her, I think the word for me is alterous attraction? or maybe platonic or aesthetic, because I think she looks really cool too. honestly, I'm not really sure what the heck I feel :') could be a crush, squish, mesh, or just wanting to be friends. uhh anyways, I'm not really sure what to do about it. idk, I guess I want to become closer to her?

anyways, sorry for bothering you. basically I was wondering if you have any thoughts on what im feeling, what I should do, and also maybe how you and your qpp got into a qpr with each other? if u dont mind.

oh! and congrats on you engagement, your 'no one can know I dont like sex' comics make me smile and also have helped me figure out myself! thanks.

Hey!! I'm so sorry I'm replying to this ask so late T^T Kinda buried myself in other projects of let myself get distracted for this blog for a lil while... Either way I hope I'm not too late TwT And don't worry, you're not bothering at all!! (Also thank you so much for the kind words, they mean a lot TwT)

I guess... Whatever you do about it is up to you honestly, as vapid as that probably sounds of me! Heck, maybe you've already taken some steps since writing to me too, late as I am...

I also don't wanna put a label on how you feel, because it's a very personal thing, but I'll say – honestly you don't even necessarily NEED to put a label on it, not yet or not ever (whatever works for you), if you're not sure how to call it. The most important thing is if you're vibing with what you are, besides that you don't owe anyone any explanation. Though I guess it's also understandable to want to know what to call it if you're gonna bring it up to her... But also (maybe I'm naive, but yeah) I think there's nothing wrong with just sincerely saying you don't know how to call things yet either, even to her. I feel it'd be fair to both of you still, personally.

As far as me and my QPP, I didn't do anything – they were the one who realized they had a squish on me and took all the steps originally to get it going 🙈 Which they told me was definitely nerve-wracking! But yeah, their handle is @civiart if you want to reach out to them too for more advice, or they can also answer further questions here on my behalf, they told me whichever is fine with them^^

But also in case it helps, I've actually drawn how it went down for us here in the past, and I tried to elaborate a bit on my own experience of a QPR here and here!

And sorry again for being late TwT I wish you the best though!

[amazing-spiderling]

For the character ask game, Scott Summers and/or Kurt Wagner, #7 & #12

<3

7. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

Scott: People making jokes about Scott yelling "JEAAAAN :00000" all the time will never not be funny to me. IDK there's just something about people who end up marrying their high school sweethearts that's a little wacky. And as much as I enjoy ragging on the guy, I am glad that the fandom has come around and is appreciating his character development, especially from the last 20 years of comics.

Kurt: I've literally never met an X-Men/comics fan that doesn't like Kurt. Like he may not be their FAVORITE, but he's kinda the unproblematic fave of the fandom, so if you bring him up, the odds of people having something positive to say are pretty high. If anything, I think people are better about criticizing a bad writer or bad production decisions for any wonky characterization, rather than jumping to, "this is why this character sucks" like I've seen them do for other characters in comics.

12. What’s a headcanon you have for this character?

Scott: Wow, my feelings about Scott are kind of a jumble. I haven't read that many comics that focused on him specifically, so I feel like I'm drawing from all of the various media interpretations... I hesitate to make a claim about comics Scott because I'll say something like, "he writes a blog about baking" and someone is going to come in and be like, "X-Factor explicitly stated that he writes about gardening".

Okay, upon a little thought, I do have one. After he was resurrected following whatever the hell was going on between the Inhumans and Mutants in "Death of X", Scott felt REALLY BAD about what happened to my boy Alchemy, and we didn't see it, but offscreen he made sure that Tom was at the front of the line for Mutants to bring back to life on Krakoa. He yelled at Emma about it, too. (That last part probably was elaborated on, but I want to imagine that he was mad about that death in particular, since she used his voice/commanding personality so heavily and ended up getting Alchemy killed without a second thought.)

Kurt: I guess I'm not really sure if this is a headcanon or just like, a gut feeling- but... I don't see Kurt ever settling down, getting married, having kids. Which is kind of a wild thing to say because the man is HUSBAND MATERIAL THROUGH AND THROUGH and Marvel writers who get to take a swing at future versions of the X-Men love giving him a family... but he's always married to some rando who showed up in one (1) forgettable comic from 30 years ago that nobody remembers. It's sort of the problem of having chemistry with everyone, but then maybe not having a "spark" with one person in particular.

My use of the word "spark" here is intentional- as those familiar with his arc during the recent Krakoa era of X-Men comics might have picked up. Kurt creates the idea of a "spark" as a universal concept for Mutants of any/all faiths to embrace, a means to protect the sanctity and respect for the miracle of life. He was one of the few to recognize the need for Mutants to have something outside of themselves to pursue, and it came at no small cost to himself. In fact, he became something of an outsider, observing the community he loved, so that he could better serve them- and that I think is the crux of the issue. His "true love" is not another person, it's the preservation of a dream, and providing hope to all mutants. Even in the alternate world where he married Wanda and they had TJ, the couple lives apart from one another, each a part of their own respective teams because while they loved each other, they realized they could not focus on their duty when they were together. The mission still came first. I don't know that I mean he should join the conventional priesthood (if only because time has shown not enough comics writers are well versed enough in organized religion to write convincing and compelling comic stories about it) but his devotion to the Legionaries was close enough for me.

It's a bit of a double edged sword- I think it's something that makes his character unique, and I could turn this idea over and over in my head endlessly, but it comes at a bit of a cost from a meta perspective. I think part of the reason there's not as much fiction for the poor boy is because he doesn't have really solid canon ship fodder (NightWolves shippers have all my respect, mind you, but somehow it seems to draw a niche crowd?), so he tends to sit in the background like charming blue set dressing. It's okay though, we all still love him.

[acemakes-art143]

Uhhh I may have accidentally clicked unfollow because I thought it said follow like a sleep deprived dumbass.

Anyways..

Please, I request of thee, infodump about this ship named Suntan. I know very little. And I wish to know more.

EEEEEEEEEEEEE YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY SUNTAN!!!!!!!!!! also it's fine no worries it happens lol

OK SO idk how much I can say about them without spoilers for omori BUT I will ramble about how much I love these little gays hehehehehe

First, I guess, is talk about the characters individually

Kel. This guy:

he is an absolute ball of sunshine, silly little guy, love him. Tall boi. This guy's TALL. He plays basketball. Does he have ADHD? Most likely! Is he a little stupid? Absolutely! And I love him for it. He just silly. He is the kind of person who would accidentally burn the water while cooking, haha! This is also my favorite character in omori btw I love him he's so silly and goofy and I love him!!

LGBTQ+ Headcanons: panromantic asexual trans boy (he/him but he probably would be completely chill with they/them if someone used it)

Next up: sunny. That's him:

This guy. He doesn't really like to talk much (in other posts I've talked about a headcanon I have for him but basically I think he has a notepad or smth that he carries around to write things instead of verbally talking). VERY traumatized. Definitely needs therapy. Does he get it? Nope! He has his tall sunshine boyfriend instead :)

Now, you may also see him shown with an eye patch on one eye, or a scarred eye, or something similar. This, without saying too much because it would be spoilers, is because his eye got hurt towards the very end of the game, so people (the fandom) gave him the scar/eye patch for post-game fanart/fan animations/comics/etc.

LGBTQ+ Headcanons: demi-biromantic asexual maybe demiboy? (he/they)

Now the main event: SUNTAN!!!!!!!!!

The name: sun(ny) + tan (kel)

Other names that I hear commonly are sunkel (just sunny + kel) and CapriSun.

Think: sweet happy extroverted ball of sunshine character x sad also sweet introverted and very traumatized/unstable character

Such a good dynamic I love them so much and they're so cute and AAAAA I can't talk about their relationship in the game at all because I don't know how much I can say before I reach spoiler territory and I want you my lovely mutual to go into the game 100% blind (or at least 90% blind) so yeah uh BUT they do interact a lot and i mean they're bestfriends so let them be boyfriends right?

Hehehe ok that's all I can think of to say about them here have some of the Suntan fanart I've found that I love a lot

This one was done by me while watching a movie! It's a little old, but it still looks so cute! Maybe I'll redraw it and make it even better! My shading style has definitely improved since this one, if nothing else.

And yeah! That's my Suntan ramble/infodump that mostly consisted of talking about the characters individually because I really really REALLY don't want to accidentally spoil anything even minor things because it's so so so good if you just go into the game fully blindly so hope you get the game soon and enjoy my funny rambles :D

[abrakuxas]

I watched the Penguin and it's a cool crime drama and all that, it's just... Not about the penguin. And what sucks is that it's clearly intentional up to this point. Everything I hear from the guys behind it is how much they want to get away from the comic book aspects of this.... Comic book adaptation.

I don't know why the fuck it has become the norm that Batman should not follow the comic book at all?

New Batman cartoon? No batfamily, they are random kids with two lines in a single episode. Every character is either not the character you know or a very diluted version of them (I'll ignore Harley on this one since her creator is the one behind it and I'm not gonna argue with how he deals with his OC)

A series about the stylish Mafia Boss supervillain, famous for his monocle, tophat and umbrella? Well, we kept the Mafia part but everything else has to go INCLUDING HIS FUCKING NAME!! Not only the moniker but the ACTUAL name. He can't be called Cobblepot because that's too much for this adaptation of a supervillain. The most they could do is give him a limp and a purple car. Yay! Let's work now on a prestige tv series about darth vader except he is actually an astronaut and maybe he could hold a red pen at some point so we can show how much we pretend to love the character idk. Maybe if we're feeling bold we might make him breath funny in a scene.

What sucks is that the show is not bad. It is objectively well written, well directed, it is good television, it just never had to be about the fucking Penguin. Just write a show about crime with your oc. Can you imagine if The Bear was sold as an adaptation of Sponge Bob "just more realistic and with less cartoony stuf. We deal with the life of Bob Stevens (we thought 'Sponge' didn't sound too real) dealing with the dramas of working on a kitchen and his traumas after being abuse at the 5 star restaurant 'Krusty's'".

It would be stupid as fuck and it's stupid as fuck for Batman as well, but it has been done so much that we're literally going to watch the second part of a Joker origin story film where Harley Quinn is Lady Gaga. Which is so fucking funny to me because not only the best Joker stories define him as a guy with a very ambiguous past and origin but Harley is very specifically her psychiatrist turned insane by abuse. That's the story. What you are showing me isn't that, it's just a story about a random loser dressed as a clown. Telling me this is Gotham and name dropping people won't make it an actual adaptation. It's not adapting anything, it's an oc, you're just making ocs and telling an original story.

Every single Batman thing has the "Pokémon is just Ashe in a coma" vibe now and I hate it idk.

I loved The Batman it really worked for me as this promise, this big change in the status quo of crime. Things are getting crazier, the quirkiness are showing and now the old face of old crime is busted giving the chance for actual supervillains to show up and take the city giving Batman a need for new partners and shit like that. I really thought it was a story that wanted to jump from that year two, early batman vibe into actual batman vibe. But now with this first episode of Penguin and even knowing that Reeves is involved with Caped Crusader I just lost any hope of it being actual Batman and I guess we'll just get yet another realistic Batman universe with solo Batman dealing with "the Scarecrow", a regular drug dealer who works with "Poison Ivy" she is the one who plants their weed. Don't forget about "Clay Face", a very ugly henchman to "Oz Cobb", the new regular crime boss. Idk, unless this series changes into actual supervillain territory I very much lost any interest in this universe.

[fragileizy]

idk it's like

i talked to my therapist today through mid bites of food during lunch

i talked to her about how i kinda feel like i'm slowly forming into a person that actually feels sexual kinda. dooes this make sense? sorry i'm going to treat this like a diary entry. i'll spare you the long post and shove this under a read more.

i write an absolute onslaught of porn but it's always felt kind of like something that's not for me; i'm not a participant, but rather an audience, and i'm totally disjointed from the actual experience. it doesn't pertain to me, almost as if i'm not allowed to. no one's ever said i'm not allowed to be. i guess i've just grown up this way? maybe it's the way that i was never picked by anyone growing up or considered attractive, nothing like that was ever taught to me at a young age that i'm something people look towards to. i've been told my whole life by older adults— aunts, uncles, family-friend members, general, random adults— that they find me pretty, but that's never really translated to much. at the very most, i get called a "doll". i'm not really considered attractive. or maybe i am and i just don't realize?? anyway, it's like, that's fine? or i thought it was fine. sex wasn't for me, and it never was, and i thought i was fine with that— but i'm not. i'm self conscious, i'm shy, i'm scared and timid; instead of feeling anything good whenever i've been in those situations, i feel scared. flighty. i feel like i'm doing something wrong.

lately i've been feeling really okay with myself? dare i say kind to myself? i have no idea what's changed. maybe it's the fact that i'm taking care of myself— oh, god, here we go, talking about "self-care" while actually meaning "grooming myself— hair, nails, makeup— in a way that is socially acceptable" but eh. maybe. sort of. the pink hair was almost a revolution of the self (god, poetic much?) where it really felt like i had agency for the first time in my entire life, and it felt great. it felt good.

the fact that i'm able to dress myself with the little money i have and put on clothes that i picked out for me and me alone for my work and my car actually makes me feel like i have agency. at most, i've always felt like a dog with a propeller hat at a party, and i mean this genuinely. i always feel like i'm severely in the wrong place at the wrong time at every circumstance in my life, and people find it comical and silly that i'm just walking around. maybe they find it endearing; maybe they actually look forward to seeing me because i brighten up their day— look at that, a dog with a propeller hat on, isn't that silly? how cute is this!!!— but that's still not ideal. it would be nice to feel like a person. it would be nice to feel like i'm a 26 year old adult. not a dog with a hat.

lately i've been feeling like a 26 year old adult. i've been talking and showing opinions and having crushes (even if they're fleeting, even if they're stupid, they're real, and i have them, and the impulse to want kisses and hugs and laughter and someone to cuddle next to at night makes me almost incomprehensibly impossible to deal with because i'm so annoying about it) still makes me feel so grateful. i feel like a participant in such a long time with even the idea of sex. god, what a thing to say. i'm not a voyeur in the idea of sexual attraction, i'm a— timid! cautious! scared! but willing!— participant in my own thoughts. i want to go to the beach and wear cute swimsuits. i want to be less shy about how i dress. i want to look in the mirror and continue looking at my butt and being like :O because i like the shape it makes when i move my legs a certain way. i want to be liked. i wanna find myself attractive.

idk. idk. idk. idk. idk. idk. anyway. talked to my therapist today.

[weebsinstash]

Ok so finished watching Across The Spiderverse in theaters and here are my thoughts, under readmore so you guys won't get spoiled cause I'll mention plot shit

Nonspoiler review: these movies really are works of art, both visually and in sound. They draw on very relatable and powerful emotions of wanting to fit in, feeling like you belong, feeling like you're important, are you doing the right thing, are you living up to the expectations of others. These are the kinds of movies that could introduce people to the franchise and even if you're not into superheroes the emotion and visuals and writing itself is spectacular. Definitely a movie I could own and rewatch later

Now, here's my takes with more spoilers

-Miguel is actually so snarky and sassy. He is 100% done the entire movie and he's sarcastic or condescending almost every time he opens his mouth. He has a sense of humor it's just more mean spirited lmao "well you're gonna have to shut up and trust me" saying "how wonderful" sarcastically to Miles, being all "spiderverse? No thats dumb, its called the Arachnid poly multiverse, which, I guess sounds just as dumb"

-seeing him on the big screen really was like wow. He could be go from being sort of a dork to being so imposing and threatening, like, there was a small part where he steps closer to Miles as a silent intimidating gesture because hes so much taller, he could be so stone faced and cold when things got serious when Miles wasnt taking his warnings, but initially he was trying to be more compassionate, just, mwah, definitely going to help with any writing endeavors and characterizations of this man

-just seeing how the wristwatches and "daypasses" work is useful for any fanfic ideas I'm having ;) but holy shit you could just glitch until you die? I much prefer the concept of "Reader somehow whether being a mutant or an anomaly or just lucky gets transported to other dimensions instead or just back home"

-God just. Gwen's opening was amazing I don't even know how to describe it. When she's recounting her past and she's starting to talk about Miles while she's playing the drums and her drum playing keeps getting more and more intense, her music angry and frustrated and powerful as she keeps saying "and he's not the only one", speaking of his pain and isolation and how she feels connected to him, just, the way these movies write relationships between people and emotions is so human

-Spider Cat my beloved. LEGO Spiderman my beloved. Plushie Spiderman my beloved. Sun Spider is a fancharacter and got a speaking role. The thick, plus size, and fat spiders. Just the variety. It really is fun to imagine a Spidersona and feel represented kwim

-Jesus the intro to Mumbattan was insane. The way these movies constantly have you flying and falling through the air and falling through multiple levels and layers as objects whiz by, the music, the choreography. Just. The visuals and music the entire movie was insane

-HOBIE! definitely a fucking star. He's smart enough to build his own watch dude!! Love that guy. Definitely see him being in some stuff of mine as a helping hand if nothing else. Hobie helping Reader out during the YouTwo drama by offering you safe haven in his universe?

-I'm guessing Miguel has to give himself regular, spider nanomachine whatever injections? His powers kind of seem to have changed from his comic book a little bit. In the comics he has organic webs and was atomically spliced with spider dna but in the movie I think it's all technology idk? Correct me if im wrong, maybe they're red and glowing in the comics too 🤷‍♀️

-something something "smutty story where Miguel boyches a formula and turns himself into like a possessive horny borderline pure animal in heat and of course you're the lucky lady to stumble into him first"

-I got the bunny filter version of Lyla by the way!

Ugh this movie has me filled with so many emotions and also I snuck alcohol into the theaters and was on an edible gummy so I was FEELING this movie and just. Definitely two of my all time favorite movies

[dracononite]

Are you considering doing any stories within any of the worlds that you have created, perhaps a book series or a pilot pitch?

oh gosh IDK if I'll ever do something as big as pitch an idea for a show!! but yes one day I'd like to fully write out a few of the stories that I'm slowly developing in my worlds - especially Sparrowmage (my main headworld) and BANG! (a collab story with my gf)

It's likely Sparrowmage will one day be a book or graphic novel or - well, I wanna do something with this world and characters that I've put a lot of heart into and are near and dear to me. Even if it's one-off mini comics focused on the slice of life portion of it, or maybe something like a zine/collection of speculative biology notes on the mythical creatures in the world. I still have a lot of work to put into fleshing out the world and school, and have yet to determine if there's any sort of overarching plot or antagonist. Though I guess I'm not too pressed to come up with one, as the main focus of Sparrowmage is the personal struggles and growth of the characters and their relationships to one another.

And for BANG!, we have much more of an overarching plot planned out and it's been a bit on hiatus as my partner and I are working more on other projects, but I think it'll turn out to be a comic, perhaps with some writing sections! I have no clue when we'll get around to finishing the planning and starting to produce it but I look forward to when we do.

I'm actually planning on practicing comics with a mini-project of mine that I just started (a Pokemon nuzlocke, actually - it's familiar territory for me, drawing Pokemon, and I feel that battles especially will give me opportunity to learn/practice movement, framing, perspective etc). And for writing, I've been slowly writing/posting about a Flight Rising challenge that is also similar to a 'nuzlocke' over on FR with some single-player TTRPG mechanics like random encounters and roll-based decision making which I'm working into the story.... sheesh I sound like a nerd. But I hope putting these mini-stories out there in my free time will give me some experience to carry into telling the stories I truly care about - and that I hope others care about too, perhaps even enough to support my creating them?

I definitely have a fear of any of my stories, specifically Sparrowmage, getting big. I want to share it with people and have a small audience be actually invested in my stuff... but I don't want it to get to the point where there's a fandom, you know? I worry about my characters being misconstrued or my writing choices being scrutinized by so many people. So, nothing as big as a novel to sell or a show to pitch. I never want to sell any rights to my stories, they mean too much to me. BUT! If I do produce any of my stories in full, I will probably love to sell physical copies of it myself, maybe even some extra merch of "fan faves" or smth haha. That sounds fun!

Thank you for asking!! I didn't mean to talk so much but my stories are something I've thought about extensively so you accidentally opened a can of worms lol

[blockgamepirate]

I've been thinking about how much I enjoy the way roleplay allows stories to live and grow as they're being told, how it creates such unique narratives that nobody would probably have come up with just writing a conventional story

To some extent this is also something that happens with serialised storytelling, like with many TV shows and audio dramas and comics and even serialised novels, whenever a piece of media isn't fully written in advance, where often the story changes along the way, actors might leave, audiences might latch onto a character nobody expected to be popular so the writers have to quickly write them into more stories, storylines might be so unpopular that they get retconned or otherwise redirected, or the writers might straight up change their minds about something in the middle, etc.

And the result is going to be different from what you'd get if you rewrote the whole thing from the start with the changes in mind. The latter will probably turn out more polished and maybe even actually better, but it won't have quite the same kind of organic charm

Conventional, carefully edited storytelling can be great, and I often appreciate it a lot and strive to achieve it myself, but I also tend to find it kind of boring. Sometimes even when it's great, even when I find it to be a really special and revelatory experience, even if I enjoy it a lot in the moment, I just don't end up going back to it. It doesn't occupy my mind the way more flawed works do (and after all, flaws often create texture and style and what would art be without those)

And like I said, often you don't get the truly unique and strange kinds of narratives in conventional fiction because the strangeness gets edited out and polished out of existence, or just never even comes up because people set out to write a Good Story that follows certain concepts of what makes a story good. Concepts that serialised storytelling often completely ignores, because it's always moving ahead and can't look back

And of course improv storytelling is that but even more so because in improv the whole thing is "written" live. Roleplaying can be fully improv but it can also be somewhat of a fusion of serialised storytelling and improv when there's some sort of GM guiding the story to an extent. (Also of course even in improv you can sometimes have some pre-planned story beats that you're trying to hit)

I really enjoy that sort of middle point between full improv and serialised storytelling where a lot of roleplay series in general live, but of course I particularly enjoy MCRP because there's something really fun about having a setting that the players are able to freely move around in and interact with in real time. I mean I guess the same could be said about other video game roleplay too but I haven't watched any lol (also I think in some ways Minecraft could be uniquely flexible because you really can interact with almost everything)

That's also why I tend to find it really frustrating when people try to make Minecraft storytelling more polished and pre-planned. I enjoy how organic it can be, that's its main charm factor for me

I have more thoughts but I gotta go now do real life stuff so idk maybe I'll continue later (also don't have time to proofread this, sorry, there might be typos and weird wording choices)

[averysexyleon]

Uhhh CAN YOU JUST ANSWER THEM ALL anyways I won't use much to give other of your followers to ask as well so. I tried to limit myself ROFL

😈✨🤗❌💖

you should have seen me squinting to figure out which emoji is which. i'm too old for this LOL

Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

In my fallout new vegas fic everybody wanted my courier and boone to bang, and it was kind of known they would end up together, but I just delayed it because I was TERRIFIED to write smut. everybody thought that I was being a troll, which maybe was a little true, because they had so many close spicy encounters before the smut. actually, the smut of that 200 chapter story was chapter 150 and i just named it "chapter 150" instead of giving it a nice name because of all of the hollering for smut LOL.

Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it.

uhhh. my compliment to me is, good job wet vacuuming the entire living room today including the stairs. it may have literally killed you and wasted a day but it's done. and my compliment to my writing is, holy shit, almost 9 months into the year and closing in on 150 chapters, well done!

What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

WRITE, FUCKING WRITE. don't matter if nobody sees it. this is a hobby for you. and find some friendly fic writers in your verse to talk to. it's less lonely that way. but it also might be lonely, writing in general is pretty lonely. but that doesn't mean don't do it. DO IT. STOP NOT WRITING. FUCKING WRITE.

What's a trope you will never write?

I don't know about tropes, but I can't ever write any kind of "toxic romance". If someone is abusive, they're abusive and I don't like it. I have moments in my romances where the characters' trauma comes through or they fight, but I have endured enough abuse and watched enough to not want to ever write it in any glorified way. people who write and enjoy VERY toxic/abusive relationships, you do you I guess, but I'll never enjoy it. I only mention this one because even though it used to be pretty rare, it seems like I see it more and more lately. I also see people take characters with ambiguous or questionable morals in the source material (like Karl) and just turn them into toxic disgusting villainous almost comically awful people and I....don't get it. I don't like Mia and never have, but I humanize her when I write her instead of making her a cartoon villain. maybe it's a maturity thing idk but I don't like it. thank you for coming to my TED talk on toxic relationships in fan writing.

What made you start writing?

reading a lot. when I was in school I was reading 3-5 NOVELS, NOVELS, a day. Turns out I have autism, but anyway, I started writing these little observation things about the classroom and my classmates thought they were hilarious and would ask for them at lunch. I realized that I had an affinity for writing, and that I liked the attention from having others read what I wrote (even if it was oddly vulnerable.) I also realized I had something to offer, because even though other classmates sometimes tried this it never really caught on the way mine did because idk, I'm a good storyteller and have the "it" factor when I write. I can say this confidently and also say confidently I have no other It factor and am a very disappointing person in every other way, so I have to write HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

[drawnaghht]

So! I think I've figured out how to tag both the leosagi and leochi ships.

Since this is mainly a BLOG and not just a random social media page, it will be easier for me to organize the tags as if this were a more traditional blogging site. So I will be trying to keep the tags as few and as relevant as possible.

I'll be mainly using YuiNardo / yuinardo from now on for just the Yuichi Usagi/rottmnt Leo ship, and stuff like my own fanart. it's specifically "show x show" for me (Yuichi x Nardo, bc those are their unique names in their respective shows xD) and not some of the fan OC stuff

leosagi for the general 2003 Miyamoto Usagi/Leonardo ship but maybe also i.e. crossovers where ppl draw all the versions?

katanashipping also for 2003 leosagi? like I guess I'll decide based on how specific it gets (edit 1.05.23) definitely about 2003 leosagi, since that's where it originated from

I'll use 2003 leosagi when it gets more specific i.e. fanfic recs or longform comics which I wanna find later

Rise Leosagi for the 2018 versions that people have made their own, based on the Miyamoto/Leo ship (lol this might be difficult to retag, cuz I'm not sure what I've tagged with what anymore)

Sliderbunny for people's own versions of rottmnt Leo and (both romantic and platonic ships, cuz there aren't as many posts for this anymore)

and I guess Leochi for something more specific? like that's been the tag now for Leo/Yuichi but I'm not sure where it started from so idk how to use it but I guess I'll find out when I see more stuff in the tag lol. might use it just for reblogs/fanart but I’ll see

I can't remember any other names so those are it for now. I probably won’t use the longer names like Yuichi x Leo, Miyamoto x Leonardo etc just bc I find it tedious to use that many spaces in tags when tagging can be sorta annoying to do on mobile and then fix later on PC. I’m more of a “tag and go” kind of person and I like my tags to be easy to write.

like im sorry I write so much (I don't enjoy writing lenghty things) but i legit need to tag like an oldschool blog occasionally bc I ENJOY finding stuff on my own blog later. it just makes sense! it is so confusing going thru multiple tags for the same thing when it could have a singular tag. or a single new tag for a specific use. and I've forgotten to do that after using social media so much for so long lol

anyway this isn't that important i am just chillin and remembered that I thought of this and needed to post it so I wouldn't forget.

more related random thoughts under the cut!

Thinking of that, I guess the tag clogging starts to make sense, considering how much people are more used to the "tag clouds" popularized by twitter and instagram and social-media-like sites before those (the sites inbetween blogging and web 2.0, maybe, but didn't really use those as much so I don't remember either) + the confusion about what the og leosagi was (+ maybe general tmnt fandom confusion over various versions of media for the franchise)

lol it's gonna take a bit long but I'll reorganize the blog more once I have a bit of time on the side from other stuff. now it feels nice that this blog isn't actually that big yet. I don't use sideblogs very long usually and it's my first time actually making anything TMNT related for this long, so it'll be interesting seeing where this blog will go in general. like how it's probably been subtle that while this userhandle/blog started as a tMNT sideblog, I actually have started blogging more about Usagi Chronicles now bc I like the show. and idk what else I'll post if I have time but I will probs keep it as a reblog blog anyways!

I try not to write long blog posts on tumblr anymore but I think the whole "leosagi-leochi tag clogging" point brought up in the "Why do we ship leosagi" video is also just a good point abt how we don't really treat blogs like blogs anymore. every sort of behaviour online has become so influenced by the want to make it trend or have it at least be read at all ("social media" aspect of online behavior now) that even stuff like ao3, a fanfic site, will have tags like "AO3 algothithm, PLEASE be nice to me" when sites like that don't even HAVE algorhithms. it's interesting to think about but also a bit sad on the side because that "tag clouding" does seem to be the only way for some works to become noticed on the above-mentioned actual social media sites. this almost makes me miss sites like deviantart and blogger because things always felt more centralized and easy to find vs twitter, insta or occasionally even tumblr.

ANYWAY

lol all this just to organize my thoughts on ship tags

if you've read this far, lemme know if there are any other tags ppl use? or are there any other types of tagging conventions we should bring back i.e. mashing the names together?

[rambunctious-cr0w]

Reread Thoughts: Acts 1-2

I'm doing a homestuck reread! Yay! I'm writing down things I notice as I go (in an attempt reduce the amount that I spam my friends with messages), so here's a loosely organized collection of some of those thoughts for acts 1 and 2. I'll keep posting these as I get further as well.

Overall reflection that maybe only makes sense to me:

Homestuck charades as a cookie-cutter text-based fantasy adventure game, both from the POV of the reader actually reading the comic because of its visual style, writing and construction; and from within SBURB from the POV of the characters. The kids aren’t introduced as real people per say, but flat characters as if from a shallow, short, text based adventure. The characters don’t engage with the ridiculousness of their situation or the contrivances that make it happen, and that’s ok for the reader because they are introduced as characters, not as people who happen to be characters. They aren’t really introduced as being meant to be interrogated or conceptualized as real people. The plot is a too-obvious chosen-one, call to adventure, save the world type pattern. The subversion is when, on these incredibly shaky and thin foundations, all of homestuck happens. The characters continue to be exposited and explored beyond their formulaic introductions and become deeply three-dimensional. The plot is scaffolded on top of the mechanics of SBURB, not within them. This is the fundamental joke of homestuck.

Other random bullshit:

I forgot they said this in the first 40 pages lmao

I understand why people say the artstyle is difficult to like. Like yeah this shit a little bit sucks.

I somehow didn't realize start of act 6 was an explicit reference

Its crazy how every joke in the first few hundred pages is expanded upon for hundreds of pages in the later three quarters. It really seems like they were just writing random bits at the beginning then later they turned them into plot points. I love this.

No one talks about how there are other SBURB sessions that are implied to have like, worked, with players entering the medium. Are a lot of universes are being created I guess? Is that the implication? But if Karkat is right that he "gave the whole universe cancer," then would those also be unwinnable sessions? But they don't produce Bec Noir so idk.

I found this funny. They convey the tone of Rose's writing so well.

THERE HE ISSSS THE GUYYYYY

Hey! It's the guy this blog is named after!

The pages here and a few after are actually the funniest in the comic

Jk maybe this is the funniest exchange

Space player moment

WV: Ascend is really the page that makes me go ok I'm invested for real now. Like sure we were having fun up until this point but now we're locked in.

[ghostspideys-moved]

de-stress

a/n: god I haven't used this blog in a hot sec, sorry guys. I know I haven't been very active in the stranger things fandom, but hopefully when the new season comes out eventually, that'll change more. if you've seen my main blog it's 90% comics rn so maybe I'll eventually get around to writing some fics for more comic characters too. anyways, in the meantime here's something I tossed together a bit ago. with school going, idk how often I'll post, but hopefully now and then I can get my writing motivation back.

word count: 567

pairing: steve harrington x reader

summary: When Steve's having a bad day, you try to cheer him up.

Steve isn't having the greatest day.

Normally, on days like this where he lets everything fester inside, he likes to be alone. At least, that's what he often tells you.

You know better.

If it hadn't been for terse answers over the phone, you might not have noticed something is wrong. Steve loves to talk to you for hours if possible, but today he's quiet.

Of course, the moment he'd hung up, you knew you had to do something.

Before you know it, you're at Steve's door, ringing the doorbell. There's a few moments of silence where you think maybe he'll just ignore you, but he thankfully opens up.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Steve steps aside to let you in, but the curious look on his face never leaves.

"Is it wrong for me to want to hang out with you?" He didn't buy it. You sigh, holding up the bag of snacks you'd brought along. "Okay, I noticed you seemed...off? And I thought I could come comfort you."

Steve's eyes widen, but he quickly tries to hide his surprise. You know he's still not used to people putting him first, but you've been trying your best to show him that you genuinely care for his well-being.

"Oh." He sighs and shrugs, leading you up to his room. "Well, I guess you're already here."

In his room, you both sit on his bed as you pull out some of the snacks you brought, letting him take whatever he wants. "So, do you wanna talk about what's bothering you?" you ask, glancing at the frown set on his face.

"Not really."

"That's fine." You shrug, snagging a bag of chips for yourself. "We can just hang out if you want."

There's an awkward silence that lasts probably not as long as it felt like, but you worry he's not going to let you help.

After another moment of silence, Steve sighs. "Can we just...can we cuddle for a while?"

The hesitation in his voice doesn't go unnoticed by you. He's always been hesitant with this kind of thing, thought not for lack of wanting you close. He just never knows how to ask without feeling like he's being clingy. You never mind, of course. You'd do anything to help him.

"Of course."

Setting aside everything you'd brought over, you let Steve get comfortable as he lays back, and you wrap your arms around him. He pulls you close, burying his nose in your hair as he visibly relaxes already.

"Better?"

"A little."

You know Steve is always going through so much, and maybe he doesn't want to talk about it now, but you get it. If this helps, you're more than happy to let him take some small steps. If this helps, then so be it.

"Good. I'm always here for you, Steve."

Steve nods as you run your fingers through his hair. If you were anyone else, he'd never let this happen. When you do it, though, he melts.

Laughing to yourself, you kiss his forehead. It isn't long before you notice he's already falling asleep in your arms. "Get some sleep, Stevie."

Steve mumbles something inaudible before you notice his breathing evens out. You take a moment to admire the peaceful look on his face before brushing a strand of hair from his face and letting him sleep for as long as he needs.

//

taglist: @bethhxrmon @hawkinsforever @koibecomedragons @nelson-and-murdock

[lilypixels]

I didn't count but I'll ask any of the questions that didn't get asked!

thank you for this ask cause i needed a distraction rn :')

describe your story in three words or less gay summons demon

how did you choose the name of your story? it was too obvious and i didnt want to spend forever thinking lol

how do you choose your characters’ names? sims random name generator tbh (how I name most of my sims/characters though for some of the fantasy ones, i use a specific generator)

how long have you been working on your story for? since august last year it seems lol wait have i averaged one post per month??

whats the biggest risk you’ve taken with your story? did it pay off? um im gonna go with doing the summoning scene and making it look well like the summoning scene i imagined. it took some work but i was pretty pleased with the result :3

what about your story are you proud of? huh uh...idk i guess how i write my characters?? the banter and chaotic energy

what about your story are you looking to improve on? honestly the whole editing process and look of my posts. I'm also still trying to figure out how exactly is the best way to set posts up as im more of a teller than a show-er(?), maybe i can even learn poses some time so i can have easier time

is your story fully planned or are you still working things out? is there a definitive end? lollll me? fully plan something? i have almost never done such a thing; i have plot points highlighted, scenes jotted down, and the ending i want in mind (shout out to milanote for helping me) but most everything that happens is just "randomly" written in word doc when i get inspo to write

why have you decided to tell this story? are there any messages or meanings within it? i thought the idea was amusing and had to share in some way; the message is dont summon a demon unless youre prepared to unlock family secrets and run for your life lol any messages are up to the reader to decide, im just writing gay fantasy here for the heck of it ajhdjk

do you actually play the game or do you just use it as a storytelling medium? i do play, its not terribly often, but i do,,

from basic planning to a finished post, how long does that take you? oh uhhhh idk, i think ive done it in like 2? 3? hours before??? i have most stuff already set up and scenes in mind so its usually just about finding right pose to use for a scene and going from there

what about the process do you hate? time and effort lol i love it but my god its annoying sometimes to get it all set and edited

choose a song that reminds you of your story hm lets go with Carry You by Ruelle ft Fleurie

choose your favourite shot from your story so far ngl, i did pretty good with lining up this shot if i say so myself

choose your least favourite shot so far yeah this one gave me pain

choose your least favourite character so far the background folks at the party

what inspirations have you drawn on for your story? makai ouji-

have other sim stories inspired you? well,, your stories first of all as that inspired me to start then @stinkrascal @ladykendalsims are other big ones since they are also fantasy/supernatural story tellers

what genres would you describe your story as? something like shounen but make everyone gay ? wait isnt that like josei...?

if you could reproduce your story in another medium (movie, novel, comic, etc.) what would you choose and why? anime yeah

what would your story’s rating be? (G, PG, M etc.) we'll say pg-13

if you were leaving simblr and had to choose another creator to continue the story for you, who would you ask? theres many but it would be wrong to ask someone else to do such a thing-

recommend another creator’s story! oh man um all the ones i follow??? @rollingsim, those mentioned above, @galaxsims, @lunchsims, @everettfalls, @warmsol...am i missing anyone...? TT *edit: JUST REALIZED I MISSED @cyansimblr pls go read their budding story as well <3

[misterbitches]

i had the misfortune of finally watching/getting through what happened in whatever episode where he gets raped so im gonna talk about it and tag it cos that's what a bitch fuckin feels like, got it? i do what i want aint no limit bad ass bitch aint never been timid. woopsie realized i got the nicknames confused oh well lmao

it's just logistically and plot wise like there's literal plot holes in this and i'm taking the production and set-up into account along with the actual content and development. im an ARTIST OKAY im jk i mean i am and i am pretentious and terrible but look. i didnt get that degree and im not in a house worth of debt for nothing ok. it's called writing on tumblr about my grievances of shows that dont matter and do not respect me as a fat black american woman either so it is my fault yet here i am.

anyway it was worse than i imagined and their talk after (with chengren) was even worse. that's what i mean about making the lines their own (the actors) bc teng teng sounded like a straight up motherfucking moron and im like

bECAUSE IT'S HIM EVEN THO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY U STUPID BITCH? but then it's like awwww and they also care about his wellbeing obviously??? but no? but it's like ok still teng teng said it even if it's stupid because he is a character and charles puts that forth. the people that fail the most to do that are xing si's family but that's not the actors fault because it's the literal material. you're like wait what but you just said...?

so i know they have no script editors i guess i think i find this season ACTUALLY fascinating because of just how egregious it is. i also went back and watched history: obsessed which i thought i liked because of their chemistry even though god the production....but i tried rewatching it and i was like wow this is worse than i remembered and the production issues were even worse because some of the music was SO LOUD AND BAD HOLY FUCK and their whole rship isssssss a sight to behold lmao

so man i guess it really is the power of anson/charles. which is good cos we love to see it...sort of but also a lot.

i honestly....because i've been able to pay attn more to the aftermath of the rape going back and putting it into more context and focusing (just barely lmao) is hm even worse. the inconsistencies are insane. it's not even just about the act but the writers have zero idea where they are going because they have no interest in exploring it. but the way in which it happens is like fascinating. yong jie literally thinks he owns xing si and it doesn't matter if he was kissing him or not or asked for a kiss on the lips (which dude what the fuck? i'll get to that) because he was plied with "extremely strong drinks" and his mom knew about it....which girl congrats you're an accomplice to the rape of your son by your other son?

but first of all...the kissing thing. in what fucking world would he (xing si) want that unless he thought he (yong jie) was someone else. i can't say their attraction is evident because we are being lead by this team to think so; they create this false sense of sensuality already so to me that signifies that they never intended for them to have a bond as brothers. it just feels cheap and fucking lazy (which it is.) even if he did, which doesn't make sense considering the context THEY CONSTRUCTED, it wouldn't matter because he was so fucking drunk which.... at that point nothing is fun, you feel sick, who wants sex like that? does he not have whiskey dick? did they have a condom? was it not painful for him considering? even if this was something to easily get over like was the dick good? it couldn't have been. and then, on top of that, there's the fact that you can change your mind or whatever but also that people do get aroused in these situations bc it is human nature (that's if they can literally get aroused which if the drinks were allegedly sooooo strong that nigga would be out so....again like even practically here it doesnt add up. have these people ever been drunk? if not, write what you know girl. cos sometimes it's like i think some of u r trying to be cool when u dont have 2 b lmao)

so yong jie coming on to him previously may be seen as like push-and-pull but here's the thing. right after it happens (the rape and it's rape so call it that you'll be okay) xing si gets up and goes home and is terrified and upset. he acts like what we have seen or even felt after a violation. he's scared, clutching his bag, it's like...you know...decently coming off as truly distressing (the actor isn't bad at all and i like that he's dark. i just massively hate this for him but hey at least he can show some chops.) like honestly man that fucking sucks and hurts to see. if we've been there we feel it. or part of it is realizing belatedly what happened. a lot of times that drop in your stomach is the worst.

but somehow for some reason, to which i cannot understand, the three of them begin to talk as if xing si pressured him? which maybe i missed something and that is possible—dont feel like going back to look—but that also made no sense. like what kind of false memory is this? why would he think he wasn't willing? and if he thought yong jie wasn't and that he pressured him how does he remember like...anything about the sex?!?!??!? besides waking up and being with him. like i guess he felt yong jie's MASSIVE DONG imprint but ??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!

god then the logic of the top/bottom thing is like i said i wasnt going to get into it but it's actually really funny. this whole thing was hilarious. honestly because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. he could have totally raped him in that way but how did you get to this CONCLUSION FROM THAT??????? BY YOUR LOGIC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS? IF HE IS THE BOTTOM AND PENETRATION IS THE ONLY FORM OF TRUE CONSUMMATION AND RAPE BECAUSE APPARENTLY, BASED ON ANATOMY, IF YOU HAVE A DICK IN UR BUTT UR A GIRL THEN HOW. DOES. THIS. MAKE. SENSE. AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

this whole stupid conversation happens so we get to the conclusion that xing si violated him ok cool but that means that something is wrong. that is the CONCLUSION WE CAME TO A SECOND AGO?

also the other rapist is a villain and muren isn't in love with him so, once again, you're breaking the rules of your own world about acceptability which is why most of this is absolutely mind bogggglinG that iit's fuckign comical. like i actually when i can stomach it start laughing or my jaw is slack because it's so insulting as a viewer because there is like 0 logical followthrough.

because whatshisface barges in, kisses him in front of his friends without permission, then says whether you were willing or not which is hm. at that point how u gonna change that around but let's not bother with logic here. i am simply here to point out how this makes no sense according to the rules they set up even outside of the basic rule of life which is hm dont rape people maybe.

so now we know xing si was raped, they believe he was raped, he himself believes he was raped, and whatshisface literally says he doesn't care even if he was willing (he wasn't) so he admits to rape. i don't believe in the police and i hate them (BL industry needs the cops but dont get me down that road) but no one...thought to go?

because according to history 4 logic nothing matters so im sure if he went to the police you could handwave the homophobia since there's no actual context for anything besides their whimsy. but they dont want to do that because they aren't interested in an arc of growth; redemption isn't possible unless he is removed from the family but again no work on thinking this through or thinking about the victim's feelings. because gay sex? who fucking knows. supposedly progressive taiwanese writers of gay shit (like how supposedly progressive the world is. as in it is not and this behavior is the norm and bl perpetuates that) can't think of transformative justice?

and then they gave bad advice so we wont acknowledge that because teng teng doing anything wrong/stupid is frequent but hurts me and also that storyline is not real so i pretend they are not there outside of this post

so all of this is just straihgt up clownery now because it's fucking absurd like logically, practically, human-wise. the kissing thing is inconsequential but it was such a lazy cheap way out lmao cos they really wanted it to seem consensual but that's not how it works. on top of that their attraction makes no sense because whatshisface is just there. he is just there. he's nothing and no one so the sentiments are even more empty and on top of that he doesnt listen to a single request fucking obviously because the basis of their relationship is fucking rape so fucking listening and respecting his partner is not on his list of fucking priorities. he's literally so fucking annoying even without being a rapist it's like someone please beat his ass.

and then after all of that you want us to feel bad? with your horrible writing, poorly misplaced music, stupid costumes (those fucking SHOES THEY ARE HIDEOUS, AND MOST OF THIER CLOTHES DO NOT FIT IT'S LIKE WHY), questionable fucking editing. we're supposed to wnat them together? this sounds literally fucking crazy but bear with me lmao even with the rape they could at least have SOMETHING i mean like i cant believe im fucking saaying this. but like in addicted heroin which is fuckin tragic and awful at least there's a MODICUM of interest but honestly that show s a fucknig drag. idk they lookd good together? here we have 0. nothing. and it doesnt motivate. watching obsessed again i can see why i liked it in the beginning bc they have good chemistry but the acting and production adn like everything about it plus the rape-y vibes it's just too much. you need to pick one thing so if you're going to be a shit writer at least supplement it with something. this thing is nothing.

and even more nonsensical and what boggles my mind frankly out of all this is the mother's involvement and the father's final response. there are NO consequences? theyre all happy?

ok so lets go through this:

1. 2 boys grow up 2gether, one of the boys is fucking psycho, the mother knows but does nothing??????????????

2. one of the sons moves out so his father doesn't get a hint that's he's fucking gay. ok fine. he has 2 best friends, a job, an apt. he is fine.

3. aforementioned brother is obsessed with him for SOME REASON besides being crazy?

3.5 no one has done anything during him growing up to help him not be crazy?

4. mom says to husband who is their father also just in case we forget "im afraid he will lose his humanity"

4.5 again, do nothing. 0. just like oh man hes crazy. guess that's just our son ;)

4. who cares. plies him with alcohol purposefully to rape him. not even dubious (even though dubious is fucked and not okay or is just not. fucking real. these shows are contextless when they want to be or even movies or whatever so it's like largely not up to the task to understand complexity in human rships and then oversimplifies it constantly because that's what we do IRL. but people have fucking feelings you know and we realize when things don't feel good or right to us either very quickly after or having to process it. and once you're eyes are opened you may feel as something was fucking ripped away from you. for the modc couple this would be a very logical conclusion for the high schooler the thirty year old dated but again logic or feelings are up to their whimsy. no one cares bc everything can be counted as dubious so honestly it's a fucking stupid fucking topic like again why are we litigating what is and isnt consent when you could just like idk. read cues? consent? wait? not be a freak? like we all know what is proper human shit so even if we are watching this uncritically which u cant bc it's glaring and stupid it's just even more dumb) so it was honestly a rape plot like he literally planned it soooooooooo??!?!

5. aftermath of rape the victim is like literally fucking bereft and confused. and a rape victim. like that's what they are insinuating and what also he is to be clear.

6. boy tells him "idc if i raped u i luv u lmao"

7. mom ENCOURAGED THE BOY to get him drunk because her other son was too nice? she encouraged her adult son to rape her adult step-son (but her real son because she repeatedly says you are my son and the dad does too THEY GREW UP TOGETHER WHEN THE KID WAS IN AN IMPRESSIONABLE STATE) so THIS ALSO MAKES EVEN LESS MOTHERFUCKING SENSE

8. everyone finds out about his rape and he isnt mortified he's just concerned about himself being gay to his dad?????? except it's not really about his gayness bc now it's about his sudden love for his rapist brother? which? hm ok. understandable the dad is like wow i do not think i like this

9. dad knows all of it is fucked up, everyone does, knows the mother fucked up, knows he fucked up. doesnt like it because he is normal. so we know this is terrible? ok great so—

10. father says "i can't accept this...but i'm willing to give you my blessing" ok see here's the thing. when you write you have to think about the things you are putting on the page and what you have written previously. this quite literally made no sense how the fuck are you going to not accept them but give them your blessing? does this crew know what the fuck words are? i'm assuming they went to some sort of school to obtain jobs here bc there cannot be natural talent or experience. maybe most of them are rich. fuck i do not know but this also makes no sense. just the literal logic of it it's like fucking insane the whiplash.

10.5 apparently this father is also shitty. everyone here sucks and they are basically begging me to think xing si is a fucking idiot so i dont even want to look at him if he is an object he doesnt matter so now i want to kick him. thanks a lot you made the victim get absolutely fucking nothing

they KEEP PUSHING the brother thing it is so insane and it's liek GUYS WE GET IT WE UNDERSTAND THEYRE "RELATED" BUT NOT RELATED SO IT'S OK HE WAS "RAPED" BUT NOT RAPED but you're GOING BACK ON YOUR OWN RULES!!!!!!!!!! WE GET THAT THEY ARE BROTHERS!!! WE'RE OVER IT NOW BUT WHAT IS THIS WHEN WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED SOMETHING? I AM CONFUSION? they flip flop between my son, my brother my actual brother, and cannot fucking distinguish between love for your father and love for your romantic partner? so to me what i see is that the father wants to fuck the son. that's the conclusion i am garnering now considering nothing matters and his love for his "brother" is the same as his love for his dad lmao. they couldnt even do that in a way that made sense. like damn anybody can get anything. these ppl who are doing this have to be fucking rich and/or have connections.

also this guy sounds literally like a textbook abuser like he says constantly "im the best choice" is a rapist is awful holds capital (oh hees "saving" smh ur trapping her!!!!! RETIRE!!!!) also wears terrible shoes so i am like ur alllllllllLLLLL FUCKING CRAZY ur all literally crazy and then they are trying to set rules and boundaries in their fucking house like WHY ARE THEY LIVING TOGETHER EVEN? even tho oh my god they know he raped him and for some reason they are both allowing to live in the house but they dont want them to have sex??!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! i get that this is their house but this is like at this point these ppl are writing anything and now whatshisface is acting like a 2 yr old again and we are supposed to find this cute? like it makes 0 sense why do u fucking care u literally encouraged ur son to rape him so they cant have consensual sex under your nose now and have to wait four years? this is coming from the son who couldnt wait until someone was sober enough to realize hes fucking psychotic and should be killed also the fact that they act like being 20 means u have no fucking brain like this kid is in med school supposedly how do we know like hes a liar and an idiot so. also wait do they mean undergrad? how are you in med school at 20? is he a genius? girl i dont care lmao i guess i missed that but it's not like it matters so whatever

even if we ignore the stupidity of the literal acts, the grossness of the content, the absolute inability to write coherently or even remotely in a way where we would even want to see them together which is like....u set it up at the beginning so he punches "the love his life's best friend" also holy fuck im sorry remember when he punches muren because xing si got too drunk. so i'm guessing whatshisface is that good of a bartender that he makes super strong drinks and gets xing si drunk but his alcohol is magical therefore it doesn't make him sick. his alcohol is the type that gets you drunk but somehow doesnt get to your liver even though that's how we get drunk but dont ask guys he's only in med school and a bartender so i think he knows best (seriously have the main writers had a day of fun in their lives? have they ever been drunk? are they toddlers? drunk babies could probably do better tho.) i get that he was also jealous but if this kid is SOOOOOO genius (he understands social cues lmao he has the cpacity to project onto his victim so im like miss me with the not understanding shit. go to a fucking therapist like seriously did no one care abt this kid? his mother thinks he's like almost a goddamn murderer. how is she not dead? how are they all not dead? how do any of them know how to drive with this type of brain?) then he would understand that they are very clearly friends since he watched them part in a very platonic way and since he apparently knows what love is cos he thinks....he can....make someone fall in love with him bc he loves them? again, i wouldnt know hes 20 and taiwanese and im 29 and black from AMERICA so im WESTERN* so you know. different life experiences i guess XD

even if we do mental gymnastics to get it to a place where they "had sex" and he didnt rape him there's 0 ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ties to the literal story they wrote and the rules they set up. i'm going ot assume they dont know wtf theyre doing and i know for a fact we all care more about their dumb show than they do but it's actually startling how piss poor this is it's like idek what to compare it to. the continuity is awful awful awful they needed a script supervisor majorly and they are making bank and are going to make fucking bank fof this shit. and itll just continue like that until IRL material changes and that's facilitated by these very same groups they choose to profit off of and exploit by propelling it into the mainstream and litigating homosexuality through capitalism. and i'm being specific with homosexuality. i dont want a GL market like at all and i know why we wouldnt have it either and that has everything to do with the nature of BL, capitalism, coercion, and the fanbase being young girls and women. i don't think in this day and age we can safely say all the fans are straight; i'm sure a majority but many women or people on the gender spectrum and sexuality spectrum also consume it. frankly, it's possible the women who write it could be or something too. i dont rly believe any1 is str8 lmao but im just saying it's not out of the realm of possibility. but it isnt about that at all. that's why we wont see "good" female characters (like well written) often that's why we won't see trans women or kathoeys or fat people or black asians in it. a lot of it is is a choice we participate in whatever. but holy fuck dude u could at least respect the audience's fucking intelligence. i'm talking about everything i think that is encapsulated in the project but it's even more jarring and worse because it's so insanely inconsistent and poorly done. like how we jump from one conclusion to another is wild to me. even their first "night together" and he wakes up im like girl....u no ur ass felt it. this nigga broke into his house and was like "im gonna have u" like it's getting weird

just make xing si suffer offscreen not us the stupidity is staggering, mind blowing, hilarious.

how wong kar wai, a straight man from HK (or at least married to a woman), or barry jenkins, a striahgt black man, write/do stories well about people they wouldnt knw about their experiences directly is....well thinking like using their brains and like knowing all types of people? the man who co-wrote moonlight is a hOMOSEXUAL, leslie cheung was fucking gay or queer (and he committed suicide and that's important also RIP homie) both are hailed as queer cinema like WKW wanted to do something else and invested time into it, changed the way he played around with structure, moved away from his crime oriented stuff. he THOUGHT about it and this film is about their reality. it's a harsh film, idk how i feel about it (but my fav movies of his are the crime ones or the messy ones where it's clear he didnt write a script lmao fallen angels is one of my fav movies its' abt assassins kinda) but i know it means something. and he didnt like what HK had previously wasnt enough. it is not the only cinema that should be shown since it's such a stark reality and depressing but it is a real depiction so we can have all sorts of stuff. no this isnt WKW level or moonlight level but i know for a fact these people think they are doing something because artists always do i say this as one and someone who is equally as useless. you're making a statement.

i also hate the westerner component of peoples analyses. first of all dont do cultural relativism. we can critique and respect. but second of all how are we going to keep saying "dont put western ideals on this" when that is what is happening anyway because that's part and parcel for soft power and capitalism. how about taiwan's history with the KMT? what about the regimes young people fought about? aided by US imperialism which permeates through society and affects material conditions, views, democracy, identity and that goes into culture and media. hm? what about that? is that reality too fucking western for people? that we are doing the same thing again now? is that okay to talk about or is that only on your time?

then there's the argument that this is just entertainment. yea no shit but the thing is if we r gonna talk about marginalized groups and watch bc of marginalized groups and then be expected to identify then i dont see why i cant put this in context. even if it wasnt fucking serious we'd still judge it. but it's so pompous and again like i wouldnt say EYE think it's art but it is "art" in the literal sense and no self respecting artist would ever go "man this means nothing." of course im not sure if they do respect themselves so hey but u cant just go oh man it's entertainment when it literally rests on the fact that HOMOS are MARGINALIZED. it literally rests on the fact that WOMEN ARE OBJECTS. you either want progress or you dont. i dont understand being so demanding but not beign specific in the demands and not trying to use your brain. if you dont want to use your brain don't. but if you are looking , engaging, and keep making these arguments or telling ppl it doesnt matter whilst complaining about how much others care is hypocritical at best, willfully obtuse at worst. both bad. :)

(also all this + another thing; it is insulting to have this like wedding happen based off of this stupid relationship when people fought so hard and had to push it. now they can use the material conditions to their advantage but it's so ridiculous. also because there is difficulty still in getting married in taiwan i'm honestly like....the boldness of the writers...)

[bengallemon]

I posted 736 times in 2021

202 posts created (27%)

534 posts reblogged (73%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.6 posts.

I added 566 tags in 2021

#lemon time - 189 posts

#art - 76 posts

#my art - 76 posts

#digital art - 66 posts

#reblog - 60 posts

#undertale - 28 posts

#undertale au - 27 posts

#deltarune - 22 posts

#others art - 12 posts

#ocs - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 116 characters

#i actually dont know what they look like ingame because i haven't been able to play chap 2 so i'm just guessing here

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Desperately wanted to draw the boy, so take humanization.

Gotta say, I think this my best one yet. I'm experimenting with colours and shadows/highlights and it made this look so much better than with just flat colouring. Imma do more of this, but for now take the precious golden child!

Aim (the precious golden bean who we can never let anything bad happen to) belongs to @zu-is-here

41 notes • Posted 2021-01-18 04:31:22 GMT

#4

NOBODY TOLD ME IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY SO I HAD TO BE VERY QUICK

Anyway happy birthday Aim! Our smol little bean who's done nothing wrong. And happy anniversary to the end of the Dark Cream comic!

Aim belongs to @zu-is-here

This human design (which has changed a little) is by me

42 notes • Posted 2021-12-13 01:19:33 GMT

#3

Am I betraying the Cream and Fluffynightkiller ships? Yes. Do I regret it? Absolutely not, my multishipper's heart won't let me regret it. Presenting to you:

Studio AU Crossmare!

Idk why I wrote that in fancy text also hi I'm bored and have several other AU ideas SEND HELP PLEASE

I do have some ideas on how this would work, so I'll just throw them here while I suffer under blooming AU ideas.

This would probably have to be a timeline without Cream or Nightkiller/Fluffynightkiller, but everyone can still vibe together.

Cross and Nightmare wouldn't stand being around each other for too long but in secret really want to spend all the time in the world with each other. It gets to the point where it's very obvious to basically everyone but them, and a few other people (probably Dream and Killer, maybe Ink as well) decide to try and bring them together somehow, despite constant glaring and just the inability to not annoy the hell out of each other.

They end up sorta understanding each other and their personalities and slowly connect until they can be left alone together for an extended period of time without attempting to kill each other.

Idk who'd confess first or what would happen and all that, I'm just spitting words out here and hoping sense can be made of them.

I shall now desperately wipe words off my whiteboard to make space for a whole idea that's forming that I know won't leave me unless I do something about it and maybe draft some designs and concepts and all that.

Studio au belongs to @zu-is-here

The designs belong to @help-im-a-gay-fish

I'm going to look up references and write and just exist now bai

46 notes • Posted 2021-01-17 08:04:23 GMT

#2

holy fck two art posts in one day what cocaine have i found??

anyways: OBSERVE A B E A N

friend said to draw a papyrus so i drew this boiiiiii! i liked doing the pose and the clothing was nice. didn't shade because this is a reference image in case i do some more art with Broopie at some point.

This humanized version of the design belongs to me

Broomie!Papyrus itself belongs to @zu-is-here

This particular design of Broopie belongs to @manosaldibujo

Reblogs are more valued than likes, spreading artwork is very poggers, do so now.

54 notes • Posted 2021-08-22 12:24:07 GMT

#1

Thought: Deltarune AU where the school has to put up with a very anti-LGBT teacher who holds semi-weekly "talks" about how they should all be anti-LGBT as well. Kris decides to p*ss off that teacher as much as they can while obtaining a relationship at the same time. Susie, Noelle and Berdly all randomly join them in detention and they all bond over being part of the community and just vibing.

It switches between angst, problems and dealing with toxicity to just fluff and vibing together.

66 notes • Posted 2021-01-21 10:46:49 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →