#me stuck in my own room 1/3rd of the day for 5 months will create something i wont believe possible

[13dps]

whatever ive done you deservedd 😈

[writer-dreams]

Matchmaker (Draco Malfoy x Reader)

Hi everyone! So....I know that it's been a while but I've recently joined a writing challenge called Cliche Month Challenge. It was made by @wreckofawriter (thank you so much for inviting me). Expect 2 more fics for this challenge. Also, I'm so sorry about being slow with requests, I am still writing them, I'm just being a turtle. This was really fun to write and I'm excited to write the other 2.

Prompt: 5 times Pansy and Theo failed to get Draco and Y/n together, and the 1 time they succeeded.

House: You choose

Blood Status: You choose

Warnings: Underage drinking, possible swearing, slight angst

Word Count: 4,822 words

A/n: If I'm being honest, this is a little messy and the point of view changes quite randomly at times. I'll also admit that it does seem pretty repetitive (heh). The reader in this story is female / uses female pronouns.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3rd Person POV

1.

Pansy and Theo snickered to each other in one of the hidden corners in the empty corridor. They watched as Y/n and Draco bumped into each other, waiting for the scene to unfold. For years, Pansy and Theo had to watch as the two friends fell deeper in love with each other but refused to confess their feelings because they were afraid it would ruin their friendship. Pansy was almost at the point where she almost screamed out to Draco that Y/n loved him so much and that she was sick of watching them dance around each other. Theo, on the other hand, found the two's obliviousness amusing and he wanted to see how many times he had to push them in the right direction before they confessed. So, the two teamed up to try and get their friends together to stop their useless pining. They continued to watch, listening in to the conversation between the two.

"Oh, sorry Dray, I didn't see you there." Y/n chuckled, feeling a light blush dust her cheeks.

"I didn't see you there either, (N/n)." Draco smiled back at her, blushing as well.

They stared at each other, an awkward silence now filling the room. Y/n couldn't tear her eyes away from Draco's grey eyes and his handsome face. Draco couldn't stop looking at Y/n's swirling (e/c) eyes. There was a certain warmth to them that captivated him. A few seconds passed before Y/n turned away and coughed slightly.

"Um, have you seen Pansy anywhere? I got this note from her to meet her here." Y/n asked, pulling out a small piece of paper.

"That's funny, I'm waiting here because Theo left me a note to meet him here." Draco said, confused.

"Do you think they-"

The two suddenly burst out laughing, thinking that they had both been ditched. They had no idea that Pansy and Theo had orchestrated the whole thing to let the two spend some time alone.

"Well, seeing that our friends have seemed to abandon us, how would you feel about spending the day with me instead, bestie?" Y/n smiled.

"I would love that, dear best friend." Draco answered.

From their hidden corner, Pansy and Theo watched the pair walk away. Pansy let out a frustrated sigh, turning to Theo.

"It didn't work! How can two people be so blind?" She pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance.

"Calm down, Pansy. We'll keep trying and eventually they'll see." Theo smirked. "I have another plan."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

2.

Classes had just ended and the hallways were filled with students quickly trying to move to their dorms or next class. Pansy and Theo waited outside of their friend's classrooms, prepared to pull off Theo's plan. Although Pansy would call said plan stupid, Theo wanted to see how far something as simple as this would go. Finally, Draco and Y/n emerged from their classroom, talking excitedly to each other. Pansy stuck her leg out in front of Y/n while Theo shoved Draco forward. The end result was Y/n falling to the floor with Draco falling on top of her.

The two teenagers stared at each other, completely forgetting about the awkward position they were in. Their faces were turned into a deep shade of red, their lips just barely an inch away from each other. Y/n's eyes flickered to Draco's lips, feeling his soft breaths hitting her face.

Pansy and Theo watched from the sidelines, the latter convinced that his plan had worked. He had a smirk on his face while Pansy raised an eyebrow at him. There was no way that Theo's stupid plan would work if her note plan failed. She turned back to her friends on the floor, seeing that all of their classmates had created a circle around them, waiting to see what would happen next. At first, it seemed as though Y/n and Draco were in their own world before Y/n took a look around and noticed the crowd. She looked back at the boy on top of her, her face growing even redder.

"Um, Dray, do you mind g-getting off of m-me?" Y/n stuttered, as if finally taking in the situation.

Draco also seemed to snap back into reality as he too looked around. "Oh yeah, sure. Sorry about that." He apologized as he stood back up and offered a hand to Y/n, who gratefully accepted it.

The students who were watching the scene, grumbled disappointedly before continuing on their way. Pansy looked up to see that Theo's smirk had faltered, a fact that she found herself smiling at.

"Not so easy, is it Nott?" She taunted.

"I got further than you." He answered bluntly.

Pansy snorted, patting Theo's back gently. "Like you said, we'll keep trying until it happens."

Theo flashed Pansy a smile, chuckling softly. "Damn right."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

3.

This time, Theo had concocted a plan based on Pansy's first idea with leaving fake notes for Draco and Y/n. It was around the time that dinner would happen and the sky outside was dark with thousands of stars littered across the black space. Like last time, Theo and Pansy hid themselves away from view, waiting for Draco and Y/n to arrive.

The two teenagers arrived at roughly the same time. Their eyes were lit up in surprise when they spotted the picnic blanket and candles placed gently on the grass.

"Did you-" Y/n started.

"What? No. Did you?" Draco asked.

Y/n shook her head before stepping in closer to the blanket. Atop of the checkered material, another note was waiting for them. Written on it, their names were printed neatly in fancy handwriting.

"Well, it looks like this whole set-up is for us." Y/n said, showing Draco the paper.

Draco raised his eyebrows before his signature smirk made its way onto his face. "Well, who are we to deny?"

Y/n's face turned red as Draco sat down on the blanket and gestured for her to sit with him. She obliged, settling next to her best friend.

"So, I'm guessing this note I got from you is also part of the set-up then?" Y/n questioned, taking out the note that Pansy left on her desk out of her pocket.

"I guess so, considering I also got a note from you." Draco chuckled, pulling out a similar note.

Y/n rolled her eyes at the utter ridiculousness of this situation. This had to be one of the stupidest pranks that anyone has pulled on her. Though deep down, she was glad that she could spend more time alone with Draco, so perhaps this 'prank' wasn't as bad as it seemed to be.

"Hey (N/n), you can really see the stars tonight." Draco pointed at the sky.

Y/n looked up and admired the stars with him. It felt nice, just being here with him and looking at stars together. She lay down on the blanket and started looking for any constellations she recognized. Out of the corner, she could see Draco closing his eyes and breathing slowly. He looked so peaceful in the quiet evening, the candle's light making him more attractive. Eventually, he opened them again before turning to her.

"Thank you, Y/n. Thank you for always being there for me. For always listening, no matter how little the problem is. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't my best friend." Draco said sincerely.

Y/n smiled back, "I'm happy that you're my best friend too, Draco."

About an hour or two had passed before the two friends decided to head back inside. They blew out the candles and took the blanket inside with them, smiling and laughing before they disappeared into the castle. Pansy and Theo came out of their hiding place, with Pansy grinning at a frowning Theo.

"It was a good attempt, Nott. Though it appears that not even you can get the two oblivious idiots together." She laughed.

"I'm still not giving up." Theo grunted.

"And neither will I. We'll get them someday, I just hope it won't take years."

Theo chuckled at the thought of him and Pansy spending the rest of their years at Hogwarts trying to get their two friends together. "Yeah, let's hope."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

4.

One of the students was hosting a large party in one of the school's unused rooms. Luckily for Pansy and Theo, they managed to convince their two friends to come join them. There was a rumour that Blaise had managed to sneak some alcohol into the party to 'spice things up'. Pansy and Theo arrived at the party to see Y/n and Draco already chatting away happily in a corner. Theo leaned over to Pansy, a worried expression on his face.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked.

"Of course. Drunk words, sober thoughts, all that stuff. Just keep Draco away from Y/n and leave the rest to me."

He nodded before making his way to their friends, greeting them before taking Draco's arm and leading him away, leaving Y/n all alone. Blaise approached Pansy, two glasses of firewhiskey in his hands.

"Hey Parkinson, you want to join in on the fun?" He asked, lifting a glass to her. Pansy smiled, taking both glasses from him.

"Of course." She said, making her way over to Y/n, who looked a little nervous as she watched the rest of the party.

"Hey Y/n."

"Oh, hey Pansy."

"Great party, eh?"

"I guess so." Y/n answered uncertainly.

"What's wrong?" Pansy asked, knowing exactly why Y/n was uncomfortable.

"Pans, you know I've never been much of a party person, I don't even know why I agreed to come here."

"Because of Draco?" Pansy questioned slyly, watching Y/n's face grow red. She laughed at her friend' reaction, becoming even more amused at Y/n's attempts to shush her.

"You know what you need, Y/n? I think you need a little bit of liquid courage." Pansy held up the glass of firewhiskey to Y/n.

Y/n seemed to consider this before she cautiously took the drink from Pansy. She looked at the Slytherin girl, who nodded approvingly. Gathering her courage, Y/n lifted the glass to her lips and let the burning liquid go down her throat. She looked back to Pansy, seeing her friend offering her another drink.

"Two drinks in and you'll probably feel more comfortable." Pansy smirked, knowing fully well that Y/n was a lightweight and two drinks would be enough to get her totally drunk.

Y/n ignored any warnings ringing through her head and gulped down the second drink. Not long after, the effects of the alcohol began to take over. The next thing she knew, her brain felt fuzzy and she couldn't quite think properly.

"Pansy, have I ever told you how much I love you?" Y/n hiccupped. Pansy chuckled at the sight of her drunk friend, gently wrapping one of Y/n's arms around her back and taking her back to Draco.

"Yes, you have. Now for you to say that to Draco." She muttered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Pansy had finally found Theo and Draco, Y/n was a drunken, blabbering mess. Draco looked worried as he took Y/n off of Pansy's back.

"What happened to her?" Draco asked, brushing some of Y/n's hair out of her face.

"She had a bit too much firewhiskey to drink. Come on, let's take Y/n back to our common room so she can sober up." Pansy answered, watching Draco take one of Y/n's arms and Theo take the other. The group then headed down to the dungeons to the Slytherin Common Room. The whole time, Y/n loudly exclaimed whatever was on her mind, with the trio trying to keep her quiet so they weren't caught.

"You guys ever wonder why the Dark Lord has no nose? Like, if I were to be the most powerful wizard to ever exist, then surely, I'd wanna look good. Who wants to be famous for not having a nose?" Y/n shouted.

"Yes, yes, Y/n. Noses are great. Now, can you please be quiet?" Pansy sighed. She knew that Y/n was a lightweight but she didn't know how difficult she would be to handle.

Soon, Y/n fell asleep, the trio letting out a sigh of relief. Out of the corner of Theo and Pansy's eye, they noticed Draco smiling softly at Y/n's sleeping form.

As they entered the room, they noticed that it was completely empty. Everyone was still at the party, allowing the four friends to have the whole room to themselves. Draco and Theo gently put Y/n down on one of the couches, Draco sitting next to her. A few minutes had passed with idle chit chat between the three as Y/n continued to sleep. The night was still young and everyone was not likely to return from the party for a few hours. Eventually, Y/n appeared to stir a bit from her sleep, though she was still very drunk. Pansy elbowed Theo gently in the side and they both excused themselves before exiting the Common Room. In reality, they were hiding in the entrance to the boy's dormitories. Pansy gave Theo a high five as they leaned against the wall to peer into the Common Room.

"Draco...." Y/n murmured, finally starting to wake up.

"Y/n! How are you feeling, do you need anything?" Draco took Y/n's hand and squeezed it gently.

"Draco....I need to tell you something...." Y/n continued muttering.

"Yeah, of course. You can tell me anything, (N/n)."

Pansy excitedly looked over at Theo. "It's finally going to happen!" She whisper-shouted. Theo put a finger over his lips and gestured for her to continue watching.

"Draco....I...I...."

"Come on!" Pansy was ready to scream. Her body was filled with anticipation and she could barely hold it in.

"Draco....I'm really glad that you're my best friend." Y/n smiled sleepily at him.

"Oh come on!" Pansy face palmed. Theo was shaking beside her, trying to hold in his laughter.

"Shut up, it's not that funny!" Pansy swatted Theo's arm.

"Of course it is! You were practically splitting at the seams from excitement only for it not to happen!" Theo held a hand over his mouth, still trying to stay quiet.

Pansy rolled her eyes and went back to watching Draco and Y/n, disappointment settling into her stomach. She was so sure that this would work, that drunken Y/n would be dumb enough to confess to Draco her undying love for him.

"I'm glad that you're my best friend too, Y/n." Draco grinned. "Now, let's get you to your room. You're going to need to sleep off all that alcohol." Draco lifted Y/n up bridal style and carried her off into the direction of her room.

With both of them now out of the room, Theo burst out laughing. He practically fell to the floor from the endless laughter. Pansy watched him with crossed arms, waiting for him to finally finish. As the laughter died down, Theo took a couple of deep breaths before he settled down.

"Got anymore bright ideas?" Theo joked.

"Maybe." Pansy smirked, a new plan already forming in her head.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

5.

Pansy was tired of their plans failing. She took out a small bottle of a love potion out of her bag, seeing Theo raise an eyebrow at it.

"This is your big plan?" He asked, almost unimpressed.

"Well, everything else hasn't worked so far! This is almost a guaranteed way for them to get together." Pansy reasoned, pouring the potion into a glass of orange juice. Due to being hungover from the party last night, Y/n ended up sleeping in past breakfast. Although Pansy couldn't sneak any food out of the Mess Hall, she had managed to grab some juice on her way out. She watched the potion disappear into the orange liquid, smiling to herself. Theo was doubting the plan, but she'd show him. This would work, she told herself.

Of course Theo doubted the plan. He'd heard of far too many stories where love potions only lead to trouble. He looked back to Pansy, seeing her smile at the mixture in her hands. She was so confident, so sure that this would provide the success they needed. He couldn't wait for this to fail so he could have another laughing fit. Not saying that he wanted this to fail, just that it would be hilarious if it went wrong. He chuckled, thinking of various scenarios where it could take a bad turn.

30 minutes later, Pansy found Y/n tiredly walking through the halls to get to class. Luckily for them, the four friends had Charms together in the morning, so it would be easy to give Y/n the potion and watch her reaction.

"Y/n! You doing okay? You were pretty drunk last night." Pansy greeted, "I couldn't get you any food, but I got you some juice so you have some energy."

Pansy handed her the drink, Y/n thanking her. The three then headed to Charms class, with Y/n complaining about how groggy she felt. They arrived and saw that Draco was already there, patiently waiting for his friends. Y/n sat down next to him while Pansy and Theo sat behind them. Y/n took a sip of the juice, not expecting a strangely sweet taste to fill her mouth. It was an unnatural sort of sweet, like someone poured a whole bottle of honey into the drink. She brushed it off though, thinking that it tasted weird because it was the first thing she had consumed that morning.

"It's happening!" Pansy whispered excitedly, as she elbowed Theo's arm.

"Don't get too excited, Parkinson." He reminded her.

It didn't take long before the potion had taken over the (h/c) haired girl. However, to Pansy's confusion, the girl's gaze snapped from her notes to Blaise Zabini. To her horror, Y/n got out of her seat and settled into a new one next to Blaise.

"Oh no...." Pansy cursed to herself.

"Hey Zabini. Have I ever told you how attractive you are?" Y/n asked, giving Blaise a flirty smile. The potion apparently also gave her newfound confidence.

"No, but I would like to hear more about it." Blaise returned her flirty tone as Y/n giggled.

Pansy continued spitting curse words under her breath as she looked over at Draco's heartbroken expression. Theo looked at her with crossed arms and a smug smirk.

"What did I tell you?" He said, sarcastically.

"Shut it. Now you gotta help me convince Draco that she's not in love with Zabini!"

"Fine. Just keep in mind that this was your plan." Theo rolled his eyes.

Pansy and Theo leaned over their desks to Draco, who was still looking at Y/n with sad eyes. Pansy felt horrible and was terrified that she'd driven them apart.

"Hey Draco...." She started, not sure how she should approach the situation. Draco looked up at her, hurt evident in his eyes.

"Cheer up, I'm sure that she doesn't actually like Zabini." Theo reassured. Draco nodded silently before his eyes went back to the (h/c) haired girl clinging onto Blaise's arm. He let out a sigh before turning back to his work, glancing at Y/n every now and then through the corner of his eye.

"Merlin, Theo. We need to get an antidote for this thing and we need it bloody fast." Pansy scowled.

"Well, I could make it but it'll take me the rest of the day."

"Then, you need to get started on it now. I can't watch Y/n cuddling with someone like Zabini any longer without feeling the urge to vomit."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The end of the day was nearly approaching and Pansy was anxious for Theo to be done with the potion. The whole day, Y/n flirted and complimented Blaise, which really didn't help the Slytherin boy's already overinflated ego. Poor Draco was stuck watching his best friend fawn over an arrogant arsehole. Eventually, he was so upset that he retreated to the Common Room, hoping to avoid seeing them together again.

Pansy stood by Blaise and Y/n, cringing every time she heard her friend gush about the large muscles the boy had. Where was Theo? She wasn't sure how much more of this she could take and she could only imagine how Draco felt. Finally, she spotted Theo hurriedly running towards her, holding out the antidote. He quickly handed her the bottle and she turned towards her spelled friend with full intent to end this now.

"Hey Y/n! I dare you to drink whatever is in this bottle!" Pansy taunted.

"What? No! What if it's poison?"

"What are you, chicken?" Blaise challenged as he turned to his new admirer.

Y/n's face turned red as she begrudgingly took the bottle from Pansy's hand. Pansy smiled knowingly, realizing that Y/n was only taking it to impress Blaise. Y/n removed the cork and swallowed the contents, not even hesitating or stopping to breathe. When it was empty, she nearly dropped the glass as a sudden dizziness hit her.

"Guys, I'm feeling a little woozy." Y/n trailed off, the world spinning as her eyes closed and everything turned black.

Y/n awoke to Pansy and Theo calling her name. She opened her eyes and found the two looking at her with worried eyes.

"What happened?" Y/n asked when the memories suddenly flooded her brain. She grimaced at the thought of how she acted, especially when she constantly fed Blaise's massive ego. "Wait, where's Draco?"

"He's in the Common Room. He left after seeing-" Theo started but he didn't need to finish before Y/n felt the immense guilt build up. She hated the idea that Draco thought she liked Blaise. That would never be true in a million years.

"What about me? Why don't you tell me more about how attractive you think I am." Blaise asked, pushing himself between Theo and Pansy, holding out a hand towards her. Speak of the devil. Y/n scowled before shoving his hand away and getting herself up.

"Shove off, Zabini. I'm going to get Draco." She flipped him off as she started quickly making her way to the dungeons with Pansy and Theo behind her.

When they arrived, Theo and Pansy hid in the entrance of the boy's dormitories and Y/n found Draco sitting on one of the couches, staring intently at the fires burning warmly in the fireplace. Her heart twisted at the sight of him and how his usual bright eyes seemed blank. She sat down next to him and waited for him to acknowledge her. Finally, he turned to her with a deep frown.

"Didn't know you liked guys like Blaise Zabini." He said, coldly.

"Dray, I swear that it wasn't me. I was spelled with a potion. Please, you have to believe me. I don't love Zabini, I love-" Y/n cut herself off before she could reveal her big secret. "I don't want you to get the wrong idea. You're my best friend, Dray. I would hate it if you saw me as that type of girl."

Draco gently took her hands in his. "You promise you're not into Zabini?"

"Yes. Merlin, I would take back all those compliments I gave him if I could. He such a pompous arse."

Draco chuckled, making Y/n's heart skip a beat. He wasn't mad at her and he believed her. Her best friend was back and she hoped that she would never come that close to losing him again. She loved Draco too much.

"And for the record, you're my best friend too, (N/n)."

"I know."

Pansy crossed her arms and sighed deeply. She royally messed this one up, didn't she? Theo smiled softly at the girl next to him, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Are we done with your extreme plans now?" He teased.

"I give up. It's your turn to come up with a plan now." Pansy said, dejectedly.

"Oh, I have one." Theo's smile grew wider.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

1.

"Are you ever going to tell Draco about your crush on him?" Pansy asked Y/n as they walked through the halls together.

"Pans, you're not supposed to be talking about this in public."

"I just want to know. You guys are best friends, you're not meant to have secrets."

"That's just it, we're best friends. If I told him, it could ruin our friendship. Or worse, if we fall apart, we could never be as close as we used to be. It's easier for me to just keep these feelings hidden because I don't want to lose him." Y/n sighed.

Pansy's face grew hard as she suddenly took hold of Y/n's arm and began dragging her somewhere.

"What are you—Pansy! Let go of me this instant!" Y/n shouted but Pansy ignored her, leading her to an empty classroom.

"I'm tired of you refusing to tell him about your feelings just because you think that you'll lose him." Pansy growled lowly as she tossed Y/n into the room. "You two are going to talk and I'm not letting you out until you confess."

Pansy closed the door and locked it, causing Y/n to panic. She began to knock furiously on the door, begging Pansy to let her out. "Pans, let me out! This isn't funny!"

"You're trapped here too, eh?" Y/n's pleading was cut short when she turned and saw Draco at the other side of the room.

"Yeah, how did you get here?"

"Theo told me to meet him in this room, then he turned and locked me in here." Draco glared at the door, knowing that Pansy and Theo were probably listening in to their conversation.

Y/n turned back to the door. "Pans, I swear to Merlin, let me out!"

"Did you two confess yet?"

"No!"

"Then you don't come out." Pansy's blunt statement caused Y/n to bang her head against the wooden door.

"We don't even have feelings for each other!" Y/n shouted before she heard some sort of heavy breathing. Confused, she turned back to Draco to see him looking at the ground, his fists clenching and unclenching. She approached the blonde boy, worried about why he was suddenly acting like this.

"Dray, are you....alright?" She asked, cautiously.

"No, I'm not because, Salazar, I love you, Y/n!" He shouted.

Y/n froze in her tracks, unsure of what to say. Her heart was racing and her head was filled with a million thoughts. Draco loved her? After all this time, he loved her and she didn't even know.

"And it hurts to know that you'd only ever think of me as a best friend. Yesterday, when you were with Zabini, it was hell to watch you flirt with him because I was so incredibly jealous. I hated the thought that you liked him, and that you could never see me that way. Then you told me you were spelled and I actually thought I still had a chance. Now, we're trapped in a room together because our stupid friends think that we like each other. Under different circumstances, I would have never told you about these feelings because I was willing to let you be happy with someone else as long as I could still be with you, even as a best friend. I love you, Y/n. I love you so much and I would do anything for you. Though, it's been made clear to me that you don't feel the same." Draco finished his rant, still breathing heavily.

Y/n's brain was still trying to process this new information. Too many thoughts were running through her mind and her mouth refused to move. Those three words were at the tip of her tongue but for some reason, she couldn't say them. Her silence was all the answer Draco needed.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't of have said that. This was stupid. Just forget what I said." Draco averted his gaze to the side, tears starting to form.

That's when Y/n couldn't control herself as she ran up to him and pressed her lips against his. Draco let out a surprised squeak but soon began to kiss her back. Eventually, the two parted and Y/n embraced Draco tightly.

"I love you too, Dray. Merlin, I was afraid to tell you for so long because I didn't want to lose you. I tried to push away my feelings but I never could. I wish that I had confessed sooner. Like I said before, I would never be into guys like Blaise because I love guys like you. I love you, Draco Malfoy. I truly mean it with all of my heart." Y/n whispered.

Unexpectedly, the door to the classroom burst open with Pansy whooping loudly as she walked in. Behind her, Theo smirked at the now couple as Pansy gave him a high five.

"We finally did it! Salazar, that took forever!" Pansy cried.

"Wait....all those other times....you guys were the ones setting us up?" Y/n raised an eyebrow at her friends.

Pansy froze, realizing the potential 'danger' she was in. She slowly nodded as Y/n's face twisted into a scowl. Taking this as her cue to leave, she tugged on Theo's sleeve and the two took off running down the corridor.

"Come back here, you two!!"

**********************************************

Thank you so much for reading! Fun Fact: A friend actually gave me a couple of ideas for this one! She helped edit it for me and she definitely ships Pansy and Theo in this one. (You don't have to ship them, I wrote it so that you could either see them as close friends or maybe growing closer and closer as the fic goes on. Let me know what you think.) I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you again. Until next time.

-Jade

[systematic-shark]

Name: Kathryn!

Nickname: Kat, Bitty, Sunshine, Kyathawyn

Zodiac: Gemini 

Height: 5′1"or 5′0″ (i remember hearing the latter at the doctor’s office a couple months ago, and i’ve been scared ever since) 

Languages: English is my native language, and i (technically) know Romanian, Korean, and Japanese and a little bit of German!

Nationality: A-merican

Favorite Season: big fan of Autumn! I like mild temperatures leaning on the cooler side, and light drizzles, and also the way the leaves turn colors! Sure do wish we had actual autumn weather last year though

Flower(s): poppies, hydrangeas, and lilies of the valley

Favorite Scents: i like pine/forest-y scents and ocean scents :V

Favourite Fictional Character(s): ooooof that is tough. uhhh Khun Aguero Agnis and Wangnan Ja, Micolash, Strahd and Sasori! (and Cersi)

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate? 

c o f f e e

Average Sleep: 4-6 hours 8)

Dogs or Cats?

i like both, but i love cats

Number of Blankets: two max, it needs to be body-freezing temperature for me to get a comfortable sleep

Dream Trip: would love to go back to Japan again! and i’d love to see S. Korea! (would also love to go back and visit Romania/Moldova one day)

Blog Established: July 2012, ooh baby it’s old

Random Fact:

About me: I own a bottle and a book that are over 100 years old!

In General: “In 1968, McCulloch bought the [200-ish yr-old] London Bridge and moved it from England to Arizona to create a tourist attraction in the desert.”

Current Time: 1:22 A.M. EST

Favorite Musical Artists: Radical Face, Stromae, aaaand hmmm

Stuck in My Head: Paint by The Paper Kites (“And we are happy when I'm walking that line/It's all in my mind, all in my mind”)

Last Movie I saw: That’s actually real tough...I think it was Ju-On (the OG Grudge movie)? That’s last one I remember watching all the way through anyway

Last thing I Googled: “diagram of the brain”

Lucky Number: not sure if they’re lucky, but i’m a big fan of the numbers 8, 13, and 25

Currently Wearing: Old tan-tee and some athletic shorts

Dream Job: illustrator and/or graphic novel/comic book artist! really want to draw my own comic some day ;;

Favorite Foods: ooof a tough one, i like cheese tortellini, burritos, frozen fruit bars (esp if they have cream in them,) and black berries!

Instruments: I took piano from 3rd grade up until senior year of high school, and there’s an old antique violin sitting in my room that i mess w/ sometimes 

Favorite Song: it switches all the time, but right now I’d say it’s...a toss-up between Dark Roman Wine by Snow Patrol and A Pound of Flesh by Radical Face

I’ll tag @horus1984-blog, @quellmont, @abeata, @maggieon, and @ey-blondie! (and anyone else who wants to do this, feel free to copy/paste!)

[cocochannel00]

Harry with kids #1: leaving for tour

Kids age: Connor (5), Rebecca (3)

"Harry you can watch the recap of the soccer game later on the plane but you should finish packing for tour," you tell Harry, your husband, as he sits on the couch staring at the tv.

"Five more minutes and I'll go. Besides I just end up throwing everything in last minute every time." he says as he turns up the volume.

"Yeah and that's exactly why you always end up forgetting your underwear here" you respond back with a smirk.

"Fine" he groans as he gets up "but If I still forget something it's not on me sister" he points out as he walks up the stairs.

You walk carefully up the stairs as you can't quite see over your growing belly. Harry's always loved kids so the fact that you were pregnant for the 3rd time in 5 years didn't really surprise you. What did was that you were expecting twins and Harry couldn't be happier to have a big family.

You peek into the play room and find Connor, your oldest child who's 5, playing with an action figure. He looks up and smiles at you.

"Mama when daddy comes back do you think he'll have time to play with me again?" He asked as he stopped playing with his toys.

Your heart broke a little in hearing him talk about Harry leaving. He was set to be touring in Europe for 3 months for his new album and he would be back just in time to see the twins be born....... at least that's what he promised.

"I'm sure as soon as he gets back he'll play with you all day and maybe he'll even bring back a new toy!" You explained trying to sound excited.

He grinned and ran out of the room probably to go find more toys to play with.

As you walked back into your room you heard Harry talking to himself as he made a mess of your bedroom, shoving clothes in the suitcase and throwing things around.

"Y/n, do you know where my black swim shorts are or were my favorite spongebob underwear went?" He asked frantically as he search the war zone he created.

You chuckled and then sighed. "H, I told you this morning it was all in the wash, were you even listening to me?" You said slightly annoyed that he had ignored your constant reminder.

He came up and wrapped his arms around you. "I was listening babe I promise I just have a lot going through my head" he said as he kissed the top of your head.

"What would I do without you Y/n?" He said while grinning from ear to ear.

"Probably get stuck in a tree somewhere knowing you" you say sarcastically.

You begin to fold his clothes neatly when you suddenly here tiny foot steps coming into the room.

"Daddy why do you have to leave for so long" your 3 year old daughter Rebecca said sleepily as she had just gotten up from her nap.

Harry looked at her sadly and said, "I promise I won't be to long this time but you have to promise to be good for mommy and help her."

She ran up to him as he held her in his arms while she cried. "Ok daddy" she says meekly. "But I don't want you to go away" she repeats through her tears.

Harry looked up at you and you see pure sadness in his eyes. He looked as if he was about to cry.

"Tell you what Becca, why don't you go play with Connor while we finish packing and daddy will go play with you guys before he leaves" you tell her and she nods slowly and walks out.

Harry slumps on to the bed and stares at the ceiling,"Why am I such a horrible father?" He asks as he lays there.

"Why was I the reason my daughter was crying in my arms? Is this even worth it" Harry asked frustratedly.

You laid down and cuddled up to him with your own tears ready to fall, " your not a horrible father H and your job is important to you and your fans. You love touring and sharing your music so I'm sure you'll have a good time" you try to console even thought the fresh tears are falling from your face.

H looks down at you crying and pulls you into a hug while laying his tear stained cheek in the crook of your shoulder.

"Please don't cry Y/n, you know I won't be able to leave any of you guys if I see you like this" he said chocking out the words.

You smile meekly and take his face in your hands. "Here's how it goes, your gonna have a great time, you'll Skype the kids every night and you'll be back before the twins are born" you informed him as you stood up.

He stood up and snaked his arm around your belly from behind as he lays his chin on your shoulder and leaving feather light kisses there.

"I’m missing the most important months in these little guys lives" he says as he makes patterns on my stomach.

"Will be fine, will figure it out like we always do" you say confidently with a smile.

He grinned and kissed you as he closed his suitcase and went to play with your kids.

After making sure he didn't forget anything you walk into your kids play room and see Harry wearing a tiara as he holds Becca on his back and plays action figures with Connor. You couldn't help but smile.

Suddenly you hear a honk outside which signals that the car coming to pick him had arrived.

You went to get his suitcase as he says goodbye to your kids when suddenly he takes it out of your hands.

"I do not need my pregnant wife hurting herself while I'm still here just because she wants to be helpful. I'll let you carry it after you have them" he said putting the it down and wrapping himself around you.

"I'm not that helpless you know and after I have them you can carry me around instead" you respond back cheekily.

He laughed. "For you Y/n I'd do anything" he said smiling.

You chuckled, "Ok lover boy go before I cry again and you refused to leave" you say.

"Kids come say goodbye!!" You yell from downstairs.

You hear your kids run and wrap themselves around Harry. "I love you guys so much" he says while kissing the top of their heads.

"We love you to daddy" Connor said as Becca nodded her head and finally let go.

" I love you so much" you whisper as he hugs you and gives you a quick kiss on the lips.

"I love you more... I'll see you soon" he whispered as he picked up his bags and walked towards the car.

He waved one last time and he was gone.

"Who wants to watch a movie now" you say trying to lift your kids spirits.

They cheered and ran towards the kitchen.

You wonder how you will get through these 3 months without him......

[until-theend-oftheline]

When They Had Nothing - Part 1: First Sight

Pairing: Stucky (Eventually)

Warnings: Violent Father, Implied Alcohol Abuse, Kids fighting, Bullying.

Word Count: 2800ish

A/N: This is my new Stucky series. It starts with the boys as kids in Brooklyn and follows CAFA but from Bucky’s POV rather than Steve’s. I am sooo excited about this series which I have been working on for about 6 months as it’s written for @cabigbang

Art Inspired by WTHN by: @ischa-posts - thank you so much for taking the time to create art for my series! - That inculdes all the artwork shown in this chapter

Betaed by: @blacktithe7 @emilyevanston and @ifyougetkilled-walk-it-off - Thank you so much for all your help!

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

MASTERLIST - CABIGBANG MASTERLIST WITH AO3 LINK

April 16th, 1922

Bucky jumped out of the car right behind his father, and his eyes widened. The look of awe only a child could possess spread across his small face. This place was nothing like Shelbyville, Indiana, where he had spent the first five years of his young life.

The city around him was buzzing and busy as the people went about their day. The cars were fancier, and everyone seemed as if they were in a rush to be somewhere. While Bucky’s little sister clung to her mom, overwhelmed by it all. He was the complete opposite. He looked around the city; soaking in every person, every store and interaction in. He felt the excitement grow within him, and it was all he could do not to run off to explore his new city right away. Bucky knew that such actions would get him in trouble with his parents, so he stayed close to their new building while he let his eyes do the wandering for him.

He watched children play on a street corner. A store owner yelled at a boy probably 10 years older than Bucky to get a move on. He watched women in fancy dresses, stopped in front of a store giggling and chatting.

His eyes didn't stop until they landed on a small blond boy. He probably wasn’t that much younger than Bucky, but he was much smaller. He looked frail and sickly, but there was a fire behind his blue eyes as he stared down the pair that Bucky assumed were his parents. The father was yelling at the mother, looming over her in a threatening manner. Something within Bucky twisted. He wanted to stop the man. He wanted to protect the woman, whose hand was on her son’s shoulder as if she was getting ready to push him back.

Bucky was only five years old, and there was nothing he could do. Nothing that wouldn’t earn him a spanking for meddling in other people’s business, still he moved. He wasn’t sure why he did it or what he hoped to accomplish by nearing the family he knew nothing about.

Before Bucky could get further than a few steps, the back of the man’s hand collided with the woman’s cheek. Anger like nothing he had ever felt before bubbling inside Bucky. The feeling didn’t last long. It was soon replaced with one of complete awe and admiration as the frail blond boy wiggled himself out from under his mother’s hand, placing himself between his parents.

Bucky wasn’t sure what the argument had been about, nor was he able to make out the child’s words to his father. All he knew was that his stomach twisted as he watched the man’s stone-cold stare towards his son. For a second, Bucky was sure the man was going to hit him, and he jumped, meaning to run to the boy’s aid. He didn’t get far before a hand closed around his arm dragging him back towards his new home. His father’s reprimands filled his ears, but the words of how he was too old to be running off like that and it was his duty to stay by his mom and sister’s side didn’t register with him. It wasn’t like he hadn’t heard it all before anyway, and right now, Bucky’s attention was somewhere more important.

The man didn’t hit his son. Instead, he spun around heading straight for the bar at the end of the street while the mom knelt down in front of her son. Bucky didn’t know what she was saying, but her demeanor and loving touch stood in great contrast to the one of her husband as she almost seemed to be checking her boy for injuries, even if she was the one that had just been struck.

The boy just smiled, taking her hand as she got back on her feet, following her down the street, but not before his head turned, and Bucky met his eyes. An unexplainable warmth spread through Bucky’s body as the boy stared at Bucky who was being dragged backward by his own father. Bucky didn’t feel the bruising hold on his arm or the strong words directed at him. He just saw the blue eyes widening in surprise as Bucky sent him his brightest smile. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was he felt, but in that second, a connection was formed. A connection that neither boy could ever have known what would come to mean to both of them. Neither of them ever forgot the moment they first saw each other, or that years would pass before their paths crossed again

July 3rd, 1927

“Bucky pleeease,” Rebecca whined as she skipped backward down school halls, looking up at her older brother walking in front of her. The seven-year-old girl wanted nothing more than to go to the 4th of July parade this weekend, but their mom was out of town, and their dad was working security for one of the main speakers. Bucky was old enough to go on his own while Rebecca was not. She did, however, think that she could convince her parents to let her go if Bucky promised them to take care of her and not let her out of his sight.

Bucky never intended on turning her down. Even if he would have loved to go with his friends from his wrestling team, that was all walking with him at the moment, he loved his sister. This meant so much to her, so of course, Bucky wasn’t going to turn her down. That didn’t mean he couldn’t keep her in suspense for a little while though.

“What’s in it for me?” Bucky asked with a cheeky grin plastered across his face, making his friends laugh.

The little girl came to a stop in front of her brother as a thoughtful frown formed on her face.

“I’ll shine your shoes for two Saturdays,” she offered, making Bucky smirk and take a step towards her. If she was gonna bargaining, he might as well teach her how to do it properly.

“Four,” he countered, smiling at the pout on her face. There was no doubt in his mind she wanted to kick him over the shin right about now, but she was also too stubborn to give in.

“Three,” she crossed her arms over her chest, staring her brother down. Bucky couldn't help but feel more than a little proud of her, still, the urge to mess with her was too great.

“And eat all my broccoli for a week,” Bucky extended his hand for her to shake, but wasn’t able to hold back his laughter as her little nose scrunched up in disgust.

“Ew Buck. No!” she whined, backing away from him, but Bucky moved faster, pulling the squealing girl into his side ruffling her hair.

“I’ll take you, Becca,” he laughed, making her push against him with a half pout and half grin.

“You’re the meanest brother ever,” she stuck her tongue out at him, and Bucky laughed again.

“Yeah well, I am the only one you got. So don’t have a kitten,” he grinned before a loud crash of a chair hitting the floor sounded through the dining hall.

Bucky’s head popped around, his attention drawn towards the sound. A chair was laying on the dining room floor with a blond boy scrambling to out from under it. Looming over him was Gerry. He was a few years older than Bucky and a known bully. He never gave Bucky any trouble since he belonged to the wrestling team and was one of the more popular kids at the school. The boy picked on everyone else who was smaller and, in his eyes, more insignificant than him. Bucky never liked him, but he had stayed out of his way up until now. Occasionally he had helped kids steer clear of him while he managed to distract the idiot. Gerry wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but he was one of the biggest and while Bucky was on the wrestling team, he preferred to not get into a fight. He had a strong sense of right and wrong, but if things could be handled with other than his fists that’s how he preferred it done.

Today, however, Bucky stepped forward. The words of his friends didn’t stop him as they called out to him that it wasn’t worth the trouble. He didn’t even listen to Rebecca pleading with him in fear that her beloved older brother would get hurt. All he saw was the blond boy scrambling to get back onto his feet, taking a defensive position with his hands raised. It was the same boy Bucky had seen defend his mother from his father’s abuse the day he had first arrived in Brooklyn 5 years ago. Bucky hadn’t seen him seen him since or felt anything like the pull he had that day, not until this moment. Back then Bucky hadn’t been in a position to help him, no matter how badly he had wanted too, but today he was.

“Give me the dough!” Gerry roared at the blond boy who just shook his head, stubbornly holding his ground against the boy twice his size.

“No, it’s mine,” the boy answered, causing Gerry to lunge forward. His fist would have collided with Steve’s jaw had Bucky not moved as fast as he did, grabbing Gerry’s arm before pushing him backward. A surprised look formed on the bully’s face seconds before it turned into one of blind rage as Bucky placed himself between Gerry and his victim.

“Leave him alone, Gerry,” Bucky ordered, not breaking eye contact with the boy that was half a head taller than himself. He knew Gerry wasn’t going to back down, but Bucky wasn’t going to throw the first punch either. It simply wasn’t who he was.

“Stay out of this, Barnes,” Gerry snarled, but Bucky didn’t move. He didn’t respond to the boy behind him either, telling him he had this on his own. Bucky knew the boy wasn’t going to pay Gerry, nor should he have too. He wasn’t about to stand by and watch him get beat up for standing up for himself either.

“Leave him alone,” Bucky repeated, punctuating each word, and for a second Gerry seemed to consider his options. He wasn’t used to picking a fight with kids that were able to hold their own against him in a fight, but he was also too dumb to back down from one. So instead of walking away like Bucky had hoped, he took a swing at him.

Bucky quickly ducked out of the way, landing his own fist against his attacker’s ribcage. Gerry took a step back, heaving for breath before jumping Bucky with a scream knocking him backward into the boy behind him, sending the three of them tumbling towards the floor.

Bucky looked over his shoulder, seeing the boy struggle for breath. His momentary worry and loss of focus cost him a punch to the face, drawing his attention and anger back towards Gerry. The boys rolled around on the floor, punching and struggling for a while before Bucky managed to get the upper hand. He straddled Gerry, placing a solid punch against his jaw and was reading another when he was dragged back by a teacher. He watched another grab a hold of Gerry who was now bleeding from his nose and screaming and kicking to get away from the adult so he could return Bucky’s favor. The teacher didn’t let go, and Bucky didn’t care about Gerry any longer. Instead, his eyes searched the room to see the blond boy leaning over one of the tables.

He was clearly still out of breath, but he seemed okay as his eyes met with Bucky’s. Just like 5 years ago when Bucky was being dragged away from him. Bucky sent him a huge genuine smile, and just like that time, the surprise on the boy’s face was evident.

Bucky didn’t care that he was in trouble as he and Gerry were being dragged along to the principal's office. At least the boy got to keep his money without being hurt too badly. Bucky’s only regret was that he hadn’t gotten a chance to learn his name once more.  

July 6th, 1927

Bucky kicked the ground as he walked out of the school building. As much as detention sucked, it was way worse not being able to walk home from school with his little sister and friends. Bucky knew he should consider himself lucky though. Had his mom not been a teacher at the school and stood up for him the way that she did, he could have gotten way worse than the week of detention and ten whips with his father’s belt when he got home. Even that had been against his mother’s wishes, but his father had the final say in how the kids were raised, and Bucky knew better than to get into a fight at school. Or so George had said. It didn’t matter to him that Bucky had been standing up for someone else. He had disobeyed the rules so he had to be punished.

Bucky didn’t hate his father. He wasn’t a violent or cruel man. He was strict on the kids, more so Bucky than Rebecca, but he didn’t hate him. He had a complicated relationship with the man he wanted nothing more than to impress. Still, Bucky never felt he was good enough in the eyes of his father, no matter his accomplishments.

Bucky’s mind was miles away when he walked over the schoolyard and out into the street. It was so far away that he didn’t see the blond

boy waiting on the steps outside one of the buildings. Bucky didn’t see him jump up and run after him either, not until he called out from behind him.

“Hey! Why did you do that?” Bucky stopped and turned around with a surprised look on his face, surprise that turned into a smile when he recognized the boy in front of him.

“Gerry is a bully. He deserved to be taught a lesson,” Bucky answered with a shrug. He wasn’t telling a lie, but he wasn’t speaking the entire truth either. The truth was that Bucky had been given more than one chance in the past to teach Gerry a lesson, but he had always chosen the less violent approach in helping out his victims whenever he could. He wasn’t sure why he had jumped in the way he had the other day, but he knew it had nothing to do with Gerry.

“I’m Bucky by the way,” he introduced himself, extending his hand to the boy in front of him.

He saw him hesitate for a second before taking it. Bucky smiled with the way he shook his hand as if he was trying to prove himself or something. He didn't have too. Bucky already liked him. He didn’t care if he was never going to be on the wrestling team, or if he looked pale and sickly. He saw beyond that. He saw the goodness behind the blue eyes and the courage that he was always going to stand up for what was right. Part of Bucky related to that, but more than that he admired it. It made him want to strive to not ignore those qualities in himself.

“I’m Steve,” the boy introduced himself, and Bucky smiled, happy to finally know his name.

“You wanna walk home together Steve?” Bucky asked with hope in his voice. Maybe something good would come out of this whole detention thing after all. Bucky smiled when Steve nodded.

“Okay.”

The two boys walked side by side in comfortable silence for a while. The bond that Bucky had felt 5 years ago, was growing stronger without either of them knowing it for sure, but somehow they both felt right. Like they had meant to cross paths and that their fates were intertwined somehow. Just how strongly neither of the two kids could have predicted or imagined, and even if they could, it’s doubtful it would have made any difference to their silent decision that they were now friends, both willing to do just about anything for the other. A vow that no matter what was thrown at them was never going to break.

Please reblog; help me spread my work - Leave a comment. Feedback is fuel

Stucky Tag Team

@emilyevanston @feelmyroarrrr @smoothdogsgirl @roxyspearing @mizzzpink @blacktithe7 @mizzezm @mysupernaturalfics @becs-bunker @docharleythegeekqueen @royallyslow @cd1242 @scarlettsoldier @danijimenezv @hellaqueerangelofthelord @marvelismylifffe @vvishous @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @sebsunshinestan

[espressoat3am]

Never Giving up, Finding Your Purpose

The Gif attached currently describes how I’m doing in life. A halfway smile because it is somewhat of a good life, but then the almost form of a smile gets stuck. Life is beating my behind, and quite frankly I’m handling it well. 

Today is June 4th, 2018 and I actually paid my rent on May 31st, 2018. This is big for me because I normally pay my rent on June 3rd, and then I have to wish on every star that some stupid site doesn’t snatch money out of my checking account. I’m a senior in college, but damn can I catch a break. 

I often think towards the future and imagine myself snagging my first career job. Just the thought of that motivates me not to give up, and even Netflix coming out of my account couldn’t take away from the feeling that thought gives me.

I want to be so successful, and when I think about how soon that may be this period in my life just seems so small. This period is so small, but without it I would never reach the level of success that I’m after.

All I’m trying to say is it’s hard to see ourselves not struggling when we are actually struggling, but you have to. You have to envision yourself as the successful badass you want to become-If you it’ll be hard to do so.

Let’s rewind, I moved to Atlanta some years back in the month of May with only $600 and one month of rent. I packed my Mustang Gt and left my small town. My entire family wasn’t for the move, but I honestly believe it’s because I was the only person in my family to move. 

I had then been in Atlanta for two weeks, and I had two more weeks until June’s rent was due. I turned down a job at Willy’s Mexican Restaurant the week before because I moved to Atlanta to be a socialite-scoailte’s don’t work at Willy’s Mexican Restaurant. 

That same week I landed a job at Lenox Mall, and I thought I have arrived. Being around money and luxury almost made me feel as if I were that much closer to having my shit together. This goes back to me saying you have to envision yourself arriving in order to arrive. 

Over the years I quit several retail jobs because turns out earning around $8 per hour doesn't make one feel luxe. I went on to baby sitting for neurosurgeons, the upper class, and I finally started making what I was worth-$21 per hour. 

This lovely period that lasted for a year got because it got ruined by a wreck-which totaled my Mustang Gt. I loved that car, but I received a new car which I also really love. Sometimes good things get taken away so greater things will have room to flourish. 

You are probably wondering what happened to my job-I lost that too. That broke me. As an undergrad I was on top making thousands per month, and I was able to provide myself the life I imagined living. I dined out every week, saved, and took care of my image. I was on beast mode during that period of my life. 

Even though my life did a complete 180 I’m still working my ass of to become the woman that I want to become. I encourage you all to think about the person you want to become and think about that person everyday. Nothing can stop us for becoming the person that we want to expect for death. You must want to become that person more than you want anything else--then you will start to finally become it. 

So, now I’m a Senior, and I worked my ass off to get here. I’ve been to four institutions, and I had to sit out for one year due to my finances at the time. I’m currently saving for tools to help me on my journey to becoming the woman I want to become. I have a plan, and as soon as I purchase my tools I’m going to work my ass of day in and day out until my surroundings, bank account, self reflects that work. 

Everyone is put on Earth with a purpose, and some may never find that purpose. Some are confused on how to find what their purpose is, and after you discover who your are, what you love then you’ll find your purpose.

Your purpose will keep you up at night, it will never leave your mind, and when you try to settle it will motivate you. 

I want to share with you some of the things I want to accomplish in the next year or so, and feel free to share yours.

1.Lose weight, Overcome Diabetes-be healthy 

2. Save for my new camera-broke my old one

3. Reach 1,000 subscribers on my Youtube channel

4. Graduate 

5. Launch photography business

6. Launch lash line

7. Become a stylist 

8. Become a motivational speaker 

9. Pay majority of my debt off

10. Save in general

 As I embark on this journey of self love, accomplishing goal after goal I wish myself the best of luck because If I don’t who cares if I do. I came to win, and create a great life for myself and my future. So to everyone on their own journey I hope I inspire you to never give up. Cheers 

[throughthethickets]

Hello, folks! Here’s my first post-AT hike gear review, and I’m starting it off with my Osprey Aura 65L AG backpack that I used on my journey north on the Appalachian Trail. I’m going to try to make all my reviews simple and organised for anyone who reads it; especially if you’re a future (thru)hiker looking at all those gear reviews before buying anything! Onto the review!

Specs:

Brand: Osprey (Europe)

Model: Aura AG 65 (Female)

Litre Capacity: 62 (Size Small)

Colour: Silver Streak

Weight: 4 lbs. 2 oz. (Size Small)

Retail: $260 (before tax/shipping)

Paid: $147.03 ($133.21 [+$13.82 shipping])

Purchased: New

Full specs from Osprey’s website

Processed with VSCO with f1 preset

Processed with VSCO with f1 preset

I tried on packs for months before settling on the Aura; this is not a purchase you should be spontaneous about. I kept coming back to the same pack due to the ergonomics of the design and just how comfortable this felt on my body with easily 30 lbs. loaded in the back. The folks at REI got to know me so well whenever I’d stay in the bag section for hours at a time, loading up various brands and models so I could walk around the store for 30 minutes before switching them out.

In the end, the Aura won me over. I decided to go with the 65L because I found it so cheap on a British website called Webtogs UK. The 50L model was more expensive compared to the 65L during the time I was shopping. I’m not sure how they price their products, but I went for the cheapest version – which happened to be in the Silver Streak colour style I wanted.

Processed with VSCO with f1 preset

Processed with VSCO with f1 preset

* * * Reminder * * *

Always remember, everyone is different. We all have unique body shapes, lengths, and comfortability needs. The Aura might fit on me best, but another person might hate it. Always take this into account when you read reviews on things like backpacks and footwear. You have to find what fits YOU best. The way this pack fits on my body shape,  as well as the way I can distribute the suspension load, makes it worth the pack’s weight.

Pros:

Comfortable

Durable

Waist belt pockets can store an iPhone 7+

Separate sleeping bag compartment for easy access

Amazing and customisable suspension

Big mesh front pocket

European version comes with rain cover!!!

Lifetime warranty

Cons:

Heavy

Squeaky (Probably just mine)

Too big for a thruhike (now that I’m experienced)

Bladder pouch in main compartment of pack is hard to use when pack’s full

First Thoughts

Okay, so this pack is a true gem for any backpacker. If we take away the fact my pack alone weighs 4.2 lbs., I honestly don’t have many negative thoughts towards it!

I mean, at times it does squeak as I hike BUT that might just be from the constant battering it takes everyday, thus it’s got some dirt stuck in places I haven’t cleaned.

  The durability of this pack seems to be great. I only have a tiny worn area at the bottom where the frame is for the pack to rest on rocks and shelters.

Luckily with Osprey’s lifetime warranty, I can get my pack fixed or even replaced by Osprey with no hassle! I’ve dealt with Osprey’s customer service before, and they are amazing. Once this Aura bites the dust, I can get a replacement for little-to-no cost. You can’t beat that kind of deal!

I own 5 packs from this company, and they’ve definitely won me over with their pricing, durability, and service.

Processed with VSCO with f1 preset

Processed with VSCO with f1 preset

Since my pack is from the European branch, I got a special surprise when I opened my package… it comes with a rain cover! The US versions do not, and I have no idea why.

Mine is a bright neon green one which makes it easy to spot in the forest, whereas all the ones I’ve seen for sale in REI are dark forest green versions. That alone saved me some money, so there’s a tip for anyone looking to get a rain cover included in their pack!

Performance On The Appalachian Trail

The performance of the Osprey Aura out on the trail was wonderful. There’s so many various elements to adjust when it comes to the suspension of this pack, which is part of the reason it’s so heavy. That’s a sacrifice I do not regret making. I’d rather hike with a heavier pack and be comfortable than go UL with a pack that doesn’t give me the support I need or creates hot spots.

Within the first few days, I sent home the removable top lid and just used the flapjack instead, so that cut a few ounces off my load. I love that Osprey has the option for removing the lid and having the flapjack to still cover your gear. Way to go for making cool stuff, guys!

The pack also has two front zippered compartments: one keeps my toiletry supplies (wipes, TP, hand sanitiser, etc), and the other usually houses my AWOL AT guide and some other small items that can lay flat. When the pack is stuffed, those front pockets are a little harder to use, I must admit. Another thing I found hard to use while hiking was the bladder sleeve that rests against the frame in the pack. If your bag is loaded with gear, it’s pretty hard to get the bladder in and out.

Processed with VSCO with f1 preset

Processed with VSCO with f1 preset

I ended up having to take everything out just to put the bladder in. I did get better at pulling it out once the bladder was empty, but if it’s still halfway full it would get stuck sometimes. I ended up to the point of saying “screw it” and put the bladder in the outside mesh pocket… which you shouldn’t do because you now have a huge bladder hanging the farthest distance away from your back and causing everything to be unbalanced. That’s how annoyed I got; I didn’t even care. Don’t do that, guys…

Final Thoughts

When it comes to thru-hiking, this pack is now too big for me to use. When I first started the trail, it was stuffed to the brim because I had room to put things in. The bigger the pack, the better chance you’re gonna fill it with crap you don’t need. Sounds like something Tyler Durden would say, doesn’t it?

Don’t be afraid to go smaller, folks. By the 1/3rd mark (731 miles), I had easily 20 litres of free space because I learned how to maximise my space, and I got rid of a lot I didn’t need.

For general backpacking and non-thruhiking trips, this is my go-to pack. I’m in love with its features, comfort, and suspension. Now that I’m a bit more experienced on thru-hiking, I’m planning to get Osprey’s new Lumina 45L when it comes out in early 2018. It’s their version of a UL (female) pack that will only weigh 1.6 lbs., but has the Airspeed suspension that I love on my Mira 26L pack.

Uhm, hellllll yes to that weight drop! I won’t be carrying nearly as much as I did when I first hit the summit of Springer, thus I won’t need to have that kind of room anymore. It’ll push me to only carry essentials, and further learn the world of Backpack Tetris.

If you have any questions about my experience with this pack, feel free to leave them down in the comments! Hope you enjoyed my review, and also leave tips for me regarding how I can make these gear reviews better!

I will leave you all with some photos of my pack and I on our hike this season. Oh yeah, my pack’s name is Amethyst, and we have plenty more exciting adventures to go on!

Processed with VSCO with b5 preset

Processed with VSCO with b5 preset

Processed with VSCO with 5 preset

Processed with VSCO with b6 preset

Processed with VSCO with k3 preset

Furiosa

Facebook • Instagram • The Trek • Merch

This review is not paid for – nor am I sponsored – by Osprey.

GEAR REVIEW: Osprey Aura AG 65. Read about my experiences on the Appalachian Trail with this pack, along with a nice collection of images in use, Hello, folks! Here's my first post-AT hike gear review, and I'm starting it off with my…

[masterprocess]

Limited-fucking-slip differential

Sometimes I feel like I’m only having something close to half the human experience. I have a difficult time placing the emotions I have, and most of the time my brain can’t get it together well enough to make some words. There’s a pang at the bottom of my stomach. It feels like how a shell casing dropping on the ground sounds. There’s a smell in the house I sleep in that’s been bothering me for weeks. There’s a crick in my neck that I can’t get out. The room I sleep in isn’t cozy. It has mood shifts, and it can’t decide on a temperature. The smell isn’t right, and the clutter in here that isn’t mine blocks my mind like dirt clogging up a dam. I’m trying to remember my vacation from January, but I can only remember a few events. There’s a lump of coal in the middle of my lungs. It’s making me tense. I have a psychology book that I’ve been reading for class, and it’s mostly garbage, but this is how residual anxiety feels for me, I think. Have you ever been on a raft pulled by a boat? That’s kinda how time feels like sometimes. Regrets will build up and up and up, and you can either let them hit you and drag you into the water, or you can hold the fuck on and get the fuck through it. I’ve had a suitcase beside my bed for three months now. It’s been a quarter of a year and this toe jabbing irritant won’t get out of my life. It can’t go back where it is intended to, though. Someone told me that its home was being cleaned for some such nonsense. I’d rather have the walking spaces cleaned first. Toe jabbing is not fun. My parents have turned it into a sport, though. My parents are, on balance, alright people but they have a lot of issues that I doubt they’ll ever find the willpower to work through. 1) They won’t let go of the clutter in their life.

2) They have a hard time accepting the transient nature of life.

3) They don’t know how to interact.

4) They have a hard time imagining others as complex humans.

5) They are relatively resistant to any kind of change.

I have my own problems too. I have difficulty expressing myself, and my brain is kind of like a computer that randomly has it’s RAM wiped every so often for no discernable reason.

From an early age, I discovered my limits. If I set my mind to something, no matter how difficult, complex, or incomprehensible, I will eventually accomplish my task. The issue was never so much my ability so much as it was being able to make my body do what I wanted it to do. Beautiful sculptures and paintings clutter my mind, and no human has ever created them, but they will never be done justice. Hands are tools and these tools are defective. They shake, and they don’t make the lines they are commanded to make.

The Roman Empire fell because they were unwilling to become who they needed to be.

Why is money such an important concept? Why should I care about money?

I like listening to this song called “Royals” by Lorde. It’s catchy, it has a good use of the synth, I like the lyrics, and I like the singer’s voice.  The just of the song is that the music industry, and by extension the entire baby-boomer economy is entirely out of touch with the world. It’s materialist to the extreme. It’s narcissistic. It’s malignant to the world. These aren’t necessarily things the song itself says, but the thin strings of the ideas are woven through the song. If you think about it for too long, you’ll start arriving to the same conclusions as my autistic ass. The lyric “we crave a different kind of buzz” and then later on “ Life is great without a care, we aren't caught up in your love affair” gives that ethereal touch to the brain that “remember you can’t take all this fucking shit with you when you’re cold and dead in the ground.” If you believe in the afterlife, which I don’t know if I do, then the only thing you take is yourself. So you get the idea of you, and maybe some memories if you’re lucky. That’s the part that fucks with me, though. I can barely remember my most recent vacation, let alone “key childhood memories.” If the afterlife exists, there better not be a multiple choice test at the end because it’s gonna send me straight to hell. In front of me are three boxes of clear icicle lights which 

1) probably don’t work

2) will never ever see use again even if they do work because everybody is too afraid of dying to get up on the hospital to set them up (not that I blame them), and of course

3) need to be thrown in the goddamn garbage already

But come November, these fuckers will be in the same place, on top of some books that won’t be read in this household ever again and my mom will be budget shopping in wal-mart or target or whatever other consumerist baby boomer shithole is the vibe the wallet is giving this year for some more fucking lights which will pile on top of the old ones and continue the same cycle. I’ve had a word stuck in my head for the past year, and it repeats itself overandoverandoverandover again until I’m insane at 3AM. You wanna know the stupid ass word? LIMITED-SLIP DIFFERENTIAL.

The limited-slip differential is a specialized part for cars that either go off-road or on ice a lot. The differential is a part placed in the middle of the axle between two wheels so that a car can easily handle turns. When a car turns, the wheel on the inside of the turn moves slower because it doesn’t need to as much speed to cover the same relative distance as the wheel on the outside. The wheel on the outside of the turn, on the other hand, has to move much more quickly than the inside to cover the distance. It is because of this, the Chinese invented the differential back in the 3rd century to be placed on the middle of the axle so we can split the speeds of both wheels without destroying the vehicle. The limited-slip differential is a special version of the regular differential that has the benefit of being able to lock one wheel from spinning. This makes traveling slippery terrain much easier because as long as you have one wheel on relatively solid ground, you can still move your vehicle. This is all fine and dandy, but my brain can’t stop repeating this fucking word in my head over and over again. Well, I mean it’s more like a term for a vehicle part that is made up of three words, but whatever. I don’t care.

I have a series of poems that are pretty shitty that I was supposed to give my girlfriend a while ago, but they’re all pretty much garbage? I have a difficult time imagining why someone would want to read them. They’re all really basic, and there’s not a lot of depth to them, and I’m not a lesbian hermit who just sits in her room and writes poetry all day so I mean. It doesn’t really feel worth the effort to read them? I haven’t told my mom about being Bi, but she probably knows. I don’t really give a shit one way or the other, but I’m really not up for a big fight from dad.

Of all things, I’m worried that I won’t be able to get a fucking Nintendo console. I’ve been talking about it ad nauseum for about a month now, and everyone is about crazy with me. Special Interests are like that. I feel like a piece of shit for bringing up my SIs to anyone anymore because I just infodump out the heezy, which I’ve been told has a suffocating effect to everyone around me. I suppose that’ll be fun to look forward to when I’m thirty and I’ve used up 12 more infodump cards in one day than I was allotted (not). 

Anyways, I didn’t get a pre-order on day 1 because I’m too afraid to ask for anything after I was screamed out for asking for gas money several times (even though my tank was empty, but w/e). I eat lunch for 3.91$ every other day so I can stretch that shit as far as it’ll fuckin’ go so I can reduce the amount of screaming fits that my mom produces. She almost had a fit on me today. I took my sister to this Korean supermarket which had every single food ingredient that originates in Korea, and we bought some candies and lunch for me, her, and mom. Well, executive dysfunction out the ass today and I have the distinct displeasure of forgetting her goddamn diet coke from McDonalds (she’s gonna kill herself with that poison someday) so I rush over to the MnaldsMcSub to bend my ass over and get her some poison, and then when I get back I give her the shit and eat some cold ass Korean. I’m probably gonna get a bitch fit at the end of the week for the Korean food because it ended up being like 15$ a person (which is expensive) and it was my suggestion to go over there. Not looking forward to that shit.

Needless to say, I’m looking forward to the day when I’m independent and don’t receive a bitch out every day of my life. I’m actually distinctly curious as to how my parents are going to interact with me after they don’t have the availability of their primary interaction with me (bitch out) available to them anymore. Will they manufacture reasons to bitch out an independent adult? Will they ask me to see my finances so they can chew me out about how I spend my own money? Or will they (far more likely) just neglect to interact anymore in the future, similar to how my dead grandfather decided to? Who the hell knows? Anyways, if you made it this far, then congration you dun it. This how residual anxiety work with my autistic ass.