#me not being toxic in the aos tag?

[competitivedust]

So I came across a post on r/tumblr of Reddit where someone was talking about how a character's name is more a reflection of their parents/guardians than themselves (unless they change their name) and it made me think about Daisy and how her name has changed throughout the show.

Her first given name (that she is aware of) was Mary Sue Poots. The name was given to her by the nuns of Saint Agnes, and obviously she loathed it. The name, as I'd heard somewhere, was also a play on the Mary Sue trope which some fans considered her to be in season 1. I see this name as a representation of her childhood which is filled with unsaid trauma. And so she rejects this name the first chance she gets.

The next name Skye is one she gives herself. Now I find her name to be more about her getting out of the orphanage, and finding her freedom. I believe that after getting rejected by multiple families, she finally felt a semblance of belonging with the rising tide. She got more confident in her skills and had people around her who believed in the same goal, freedom of information.

The next name was once again given to her by her parents. Now this one is special. When she becomes Daisy Johnson she becomes a full fledged hero. Her one goal, from the beginning of the show, had been to find the truth of what happened with her parents. And she did. Yes it wasn't what she expected, but I do think she got some closure from it. Now I think Daisy is so special because one, the daisy plant is actually pretty strong. It grows in pretty much any environment. This speaks to her tenacity, her strength in the face of all the difficulties that she faces. Just like the plant, our Daisy doesn't give up no matter what life throws at her. And as amazing as this is, there's another sadder reason why her parents chose this name for her.

So here is my really long post about Daisy and all the names she has been called.

As we all know, in season 7 we find out that Kora was supposed to shoot herself but she didn't because Nathaniel Malick ended up intervening. But had she actually gone through it, Jiaying would have found her body with a patch of daisies growing around her. I believe that she then named her second daughter Daisy because she wanted to remind herself to try to do better than she did last time. Obviously a wrinkly Nazi threw a wrench in that plan.

Edit edit edit

I got so excited about posting this that I forgot about Quake. Another name that was given to her rather than one she gave herself. Quake, to me, at least at first seemed to have a darker connotation. When she is given this name, Daisy is possibly at the lowest point of her life. Estranged from her teammates, refusing help, letting herself get hurt, and sometimes even wanting it. While I don't think her actions as a vigilante are all that terrible (she's literally taking down a fascist organization) I do think her self imposed exile gives the name something of a negative vibe I guess? But overtime the name grows on her, something she says herself. I think as Daisy healed, this name took on a new meaning for her. I don't know why, but I think she was genuinely surprised when during a press conference in season 4 (when mace reveals that she has been an undercover agent all along) a lady she had previously saved hugs her in gratitude. I think, despite being related to a darker time of her life, the name Quake ultimately became somewhat of a symbol of good, of hope. And so once again, she accepted it. Maybe not as explicitly as Daisy but she certainly didn't mind it.

[beevean]

💕, 🤍, 🖤 for Castlevania?

💕: What is an unpopular ship that you like?

Every ship with Hector that isn't Isaactor is massively unpopular, even the ones that I am positive should have made for a tasty buffet in the late 2000s. i get that no one gave a shit about cod before the show but where is the hevor food guys :<

But of course, special and predictable shoutout to Hecula, whose tag on AO3 is 72% made of my own fics, a fact that makes me confused, annoyed and proud at the same time 🥰

Trying to think of other ships and I think many LoI ships that aren't Maleon are also kind of neglected? No love for the toxic yaoi vampire ships? :( eh, I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

rosaly/julia and sypha/julia have some potential too just sayin'

🤍: Which character is not as morally bad as everyone else seems to think?

Can't think of anything. The villains in CV may be tragic (Isaac and Brauner <3) but they're very obviously evil and wicked. I guess... Death? Yeah, he serves Dracula, but he comes off to me as being more amoral than outright evil. He's Death, he's just doing what he exists for.

🖤: Which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?

I am very intrigued by the "Arikado is going through a villain arc and that's why he's incredibly shady, manipulative and secretive in AoS" theory 👀 he be lookin' kinda sus when he uses Mina as leverage to push Soma to pursue Graham...

[horns-the-demon]

Hello!! I'm Horns :)

i'm an f1 rpf writer and enthusiast (my ao3) (fic tag)

she/her, mid-20s, canadian, & autistic

you can also find me on: twitter, discord (horns-the-demon)

i adore: ♡ max, michael, seb, checo, yuki, jenson, ao racing imsa team ♡

i like: lewis, franco, fernando, kmag, oscar, haas f1 team, porsche wec team

i am in a toxic relationship with: red bull racing and also mark webber

i pray for the downfall of: ferrari, luca di montezemolo, lando norris, the current iteration of mclaren, christian horner, and helmut marko. this blog will contain random unprompted lashings for all of the above. feel free to block the tags #tw: ln4, and #tw: ferrari if you don't want to see some of it

minors dni i'm serious. i do not want you here. i check ages. if you're under 18, leave or be blocked

other dni: people uncomfortable with rpf or nsfw content

Please feel free to reach out, shoot me a message, or tag me in things :D I'm autistic and struggle with social cues online, but am always down to yodel in the DMs about f1, writing in general, and/or just make new friends.

I'm sorry for how slow my ao3 updates are. I promise long chapters in return for your patience ☺️

Current WIPs:

- Free Use AU (omegaverse, Seb harem) (tumblr tag)

Seb is a university student, paying for his studies the way most omegas have to: by being free use for everyone else on campus. Unluckily for him, he misjudged quite how popular he'd be there, and can hardly find the time to actually complete his studies while fulfilling his "duties". Things are looking pretty bad for Seb, until he's found in a compromising position by Michael Schumacher, a legendary retired football player and the coach of his university's football team. Michael offers him a choice: continue things the way they have been, or spend the rest of his time at the school as the football team's exclusive free use omega. (That choice was only ever going to go one way.) Or, Seb manages to get himself a harem, despite the fact that he's supposed to be the one getting used.

-Pacific Rim AU (hybrids + untraditional soulmates, sebmarkson, brocedes, schumika, chebayashi, strollonso, lestappen and probably a few others, f1 drivers + the concept of human rights) (tumblr tag)

Mark is a lab-grown hybrid considered govermnent property, designed to fight monsters that risk humanity's survival. Seb is a human that was never supposed to be working alongside him, but who also never really learned that curiosity killed the cat. Jenson is dead. Somehow, they make it work.

Or, I took Pacific Rim, added hybrid pilots and a massive amount of dehumanization. The worldbuilding doc hit 100k words. Send help.

-Fem Drivers AU (genderbent, always a girl!Seb, Charles, Checo, and Yuki, sebmark, lestappen, chenando, and yukierre, with additional background ships)

Charles' Fic

There is one front on which it sucks to be a woman driving for Ferrari, though. When they’d first told her they wanted her to wear a chastity belt for the team, Charles hadn’t believed them. Surely it had to be some sort of prank- it was 2016, for God’s sake! The more they’d explained it, though, the more it had started to make sense. Eventually, she'd come around. Eight years later, Charles is pretty sure that this was a classic frog in a boiling pot situation, and she missed every chance to jump out.

Or, Ferrari gets Charles to live her life in a chastity belt, in the name of keeping her focused on the team and on the Tifosi. It only takes a decade to backfire spectacularly.

Or, How Charles Leclerc gets her groove back (featuring Reddit, OnlyFans, Yuki Tsunoda's terrible taste in men, a few tears, a lot of miscommunication, the ever-present shadow of Sebastian Vettel, questionable lockpicking tutorials, far too many Virgin Mary references, and Max Verstappen’s Very Last Brain Cell. Amen.)

Completed Works

-cyber system overload (everybody movement)

“Alright, Seb,” Mark says, in Seb’s absolute favourite tone of voice out of him. “D’you wanna try something fun, mate?”

Or, when an attempt to get fucked by his teammate goes sideways, Seb experiences the wonders of subspace, courtesy of a vibrator, a chastity belt, and the teammate in question.

Or, How to Accidentally Establish the Most Questionable D/s Dynamic in Human History, a guide by Sebastian Vettel and mostly Mark Webber

[asirensrage]

20 Questions for Writers

I was tagged by @chickensarentcheap!!! Thank you!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

53

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

764,479

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Oh god. Divergent. Stranger Things. Supernatural. Shadow and Bone. MCU. I have written for HP but not in a long while. Spartacus. Leverage. Jack Reacher. John Wick. Teen Wolf. Criminal Minds. Walking Dead. Lord of the Rings. Star Trek (2013). Beauty and the Beast (2017). Lost Boys. Sons of Anarchy. Knives Out. Naruto. Jujutsu Kaisen. Demon Slayer. My Hero Academia. Blade. Tokyo Revengers. True Blood. Whar Wars. From Dusk Til Dawn (TV series). Special mentions for Buffy the Vampire Slayer and others that I used in my SPN crossover fic.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

On Ao3?

Tammy Thompson Takes on the Upside Down (Stranger Things) Kudos: 1,226

The Art of Seclusion (Divergent) Kudos: 829

there's a heaven above you (don't you cry) (The Lost Boys) Kudos: 534

Barred (Shadow and Bone) Kudos: 415

It's Always Darkest Before the (Second) Dawn (HP/Shadow and Bone Crossover) Kudos: 357

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Eventually I respond to all. It just takes me awhile before I do it in large batches lol

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh god. For ones that are completed and posted, it's The Art of Seclusion. I have others that...will not have "happy" endings but they aren't finished or shared yet.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I have no clue. I haven't finished many outside of oneshots or series. It might depend on the reader. We'll see ;)

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

Not usually but it has happened. I had one person leave a review on AoS being very angry about my lack of warnings and promoting toxic relationships. They had a legit point about the warnings as I hadn't updated them in years despite the fic getting worse lol. I thanked them for pointing it out, updated my warnings and on my next chapter made a point of reminding my readers that the relationship wasn't healthy and not something to aim for. Never heard back lol.

9. Do you write smut?

Do I? 😃 You know it.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not often, but yes. Caught in the Crossfire is a crossover with characters from multiple worlds coming into the SPN universe. It's Always Darkest Before the (Second) Dawn is on hiatus but it's a crossover between HP and Shadow and Bone.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes. Someone took Tammy Thompson Takes on the Upside Down and posted it as their own...only changing the name Tammy to Sammy 😂😂 I've also had fics being posted under my name on sites I didn't approve of. I had to contact the site directly to make them remove it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. Someone translated Famous Last Words into...Russian? It's on Ao3 too.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes! I love working with ppl to write. I consider myself basically cowriting a bunch of fics with @vixenofcourse (even if sometimes she doesn't agree) because she gives me ideas for it. I cowrote Caught in the Crossfire with friends of mine, mainly the one who wrote all of Kelly's povs. (fun fact, she doesn't write fanfic on her own but she wrote that lol)

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

Me with everyone I love 😂 No, i have no idea. My ocs and their pairings.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

....

16. What’s your writing strengths?

No idea. Dialogue? Not sure what else... lol

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

DESCRIPTIONS. I find them the hardest....and don't ask me about describing my characters...

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't speak any other language well enough for that. I don't mind it, but usually I just write in English and show they're speaking another language somehow. If I do write in another language, I try to have the translations clearly understood.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Digimon lollll

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

ALL OF THEM! And all the ones I haven't posted! There are so many i could show you but they're not done and I agreed not to post new long fics if they're incomplete.

tagging: @ninjasawakenedmystar @nejires-hado @arrthurpendragon @elmunson @mabonetsamhain @kingsmakers @sxrvivc and anyone else interested.

[little-smartass]

tagged by @eleanorfenyxwrites

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

34!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

721,748

What fandoms do you write for?

I pretty much just write for whichever fandom I'm in at that moment - currently it's The Untamed but I've also written for Vampire Chronicles, Les Mis, Star Trek, X-Men and Discworld

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

All In - Star Trek AOS: when Spock donates his genetic material for the Vulcan rebuilding program, the fetus created requires further medical assistance that only a human can provide, and things get... complicated. Space Husbands science baby fic that's mostly a Kirk character study.

Where There's A Will, There's A Road - The Untamed: when 3zun go on a night hunt shortly before Jin Ling's 100 day celebration, Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao become separated from Lan Xichen inside a magical temple (or tomb?) and must work together to escape. 3zun fic with a focus on NieYao taking steps towards reconciliation

If It's Me You Need To Turn To, We'll Get By - The Untamed: Jin Guangyao gets sick whilst planning Jin Ling's 100 day celebration and Jin Zixuan, feeling somewhat responsible, decides to take care of him. Jin bros sickfic fixit in which JGY discovers the Mortifying Ordeal Of Being Known and Zixuan discovers the Mortifying Ordeal of Getting To Know Other People

Into The Open Air - Vampire Chronicles: when Claudia is setenced to death by the theatre vampires in Paris, Lestat manages to gather just enough of his wits about him to defend her, and this changes everything. Lestat POV fic exploring the possiblities of what might have happened if Claudia hadn't been killed.

Best of My Love - The Untamed: Meng Yao is struggling with night school, helping raise his troubled little brother, working at a ridiculous diner, and trying to find love whilst asexual - and then Lan Xichen enters his life. XiYao ace romcom that I worked on with @justkeeptrekkin

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Rarely. I used to all the time, when I didn't get very many comments and I knew most of the fandom (when I was writing for Discworld) and then All In became VERY unexpectedly popular, and keeping on top of responding to comments just became impossible and I fell out of the habit. If someone asks a specific question or challenges something I have written I will respond but that's it.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't often write angsty endings, but Soulmate Words and Solemn Promises is a "your soulmates last words to you are written on your skin" AU so. that was pretty much fucking guaranteed to be bleak as all fuck.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I pretty much exclusively write happy endings haha but I think special shoutouts have to go to the ends of All In and Harmony is the Value

Do you get hate on fics?

I have done before - the VC fandom is pretty catastrophically toxic, so I wasn't surprised to get hate on those fics, and I think I got one personal visitation from the infamous Xiyao Troll?

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No, not really... though I am currently working on a secret project with @eleanorfenyxwrites that has changed that 👀

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I think the only direct crossover I've been involved with are the les trekables fics I wrote with @dotsayers

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've had people ask if they can translate my work but I don't think any of the translations ever got posted, that I'm aware of...

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I don't feel like it's fair to say because I love them all equally, my brain just fixates on different ones at different times 😆

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I've actually made a rule for myself where I only post stuff once I've finished writing it to specifically avoid this!

What are your writing strengths?

I'm gonna say... dialogue, and exploring character emotions

What are your writing weaknesses?

I really struggle with action scenes, and with describing backdrops or props further than, like, The Vibes. where are the characters? they're in a room, don't worry about it.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done little phrases or words in other languages (french for VC, and honorifics for CQL) but I wouldn't be confident going further than that

First fandom you wrote for?

Beyblade, though Teen Titans and the The Edge Chronicles were the first to get actually posted online 🫣

Favorite fic you've written?

tough one! All In will always have a special place in my heart because it reminds me of @spicyshimmy-blog 💜 the While There Are Green Hills, There Will Be Wood To Burn trilogy took about three full years to write and I am HUGELY proud of it, and Where There's A Will, There's A Road is my first fic to get podfic'd so I like to listen to it all the time, which has definitely made it one of my favourites!

[lilbreck]

I just need to vent to a sympathetic void about how fed up I am with the obnoxious, entitled, gatekeeping Spirk tumblr fandom. At this point I feel like I'm blocking every other poster in the main fandom snw tags because they're so smug about the inevitably of their obviously canon ship being telegraphed as a canon romance because their ship shook hands when they met each other and enjoy playing chess. The entitlement is what's most infuriating. I'm sure AOS Spirk fandom was similarly hostile to Spuhura, but I honestly don't remember them being *this* hostile to the canon het ship. They're so spiteful about spock/chapel it's so toxic and the misogyny is so barely veiled. Like, they will always have the OG TOS ship of homoerotic ambiguity! They will always have Shatner acting like he's in love in the movies. There's no need for being so spiteful towards other ships in other iterations of the characters. Also, I hate to break it to them, but their ship was never actually canon beyond platonic love. Kirk and Spock were the Leslie and Ann of TOS, not the Leslie and Ben. Alright, rant over.

There are a couple of hard truths that old-fandom Spirk shippers seemed to understand that new-fandom ones don't. First, Spirk was never a canon romance. Second, Spock and Kirk were involved (willingly) with female characters.

They scream about how both characters are canon gay, but don't seem to realize that it was never canon. It was just a long held fanon interpretation. Hell, even then, they were closer to being bisexual than gay.

What infuriates me is the Spirk shippers who now say, "Well, it wouldn't be so bad if they had him with Uhura, instead." You know damn well those same people were probably shitting all over both Spuhura and, by extension, Uhura.

Side note: for all they scream about "that handshake was totally Vulcan making out!", the finger stroke they all go on about was never intended to be the equivalent of a kiss. Nimoy, who came up with the gesture, said so himself in his book.

Honestly, that whole scene with Spock, Uhura, and Kirk seemed so heavy-handed and anvil-icious.

[everythingirl44]

One last game of Tag? Agents of Shield #PartingShot

I was tagged by the wonderful @daisylincs, thank you Lily!

With this tag game, I want to know the answers to these five (5) questions and then tag 5 or more mutuals. Wasn’t tagged but want to join? Join in ! Everyone is an essential part of this fandom! Name from @ agent.of.shield_ on Instagram ( @agents-of-fangirling ) who had a great idea to post a picture of yourself with a drink (or just a drink) and tag it #partingshot as a finale goodbye to the show.

Where were you in life when you first started to watching AoS?

I was in eighth grade, going through one of the hardest years of my life so far. Let’s just say middle school girls are mean, toxic and love to cause drama. Especially since the school was by a very wealthy neighborhood.

I was in like a group of girls who were kinda mean and twisted things all the wrong way. I’ve made my peace with it and I’m actually friends with one of them again. I came across Chloe Bennet through YouTube. I didn’t have any social media except twitter back then.

So I looked up the show and saw the first four seasons were on Netflix. I was a huge DC girl growing up so when AoS first came out I wasn’t interested in Marvel. Oh boy how that has changed! I started watching around the end of the school year. Then around July on my birthday I watched the season three finale, I watched Lincoln Campbell die on my birthday which was horrible. Finished the whole thing about a week or two later. Then went to look up if it was renewed for a season five. Obviously it was and I continued watching.

Where are you now?

Kinda dreading writing this part because I never really put anything that could give away my age out there, but quick background. I believe some people like Lily think I’m older then I actually am. I’m a senior in high school, so I’m in twelfth grade. My high school is special in a sence that it offers students medical classes. Pretty much I’ve learned when a first year medical student learns, but in high school.

Yeah, I’m still a baby pretty much. Which might explain a lot or just make you more confused. I digress. Currently dealing with college apps and trying to be an adult. Also trying to deal with my anxiety with everything going on.

Super emotional about the show ending because for the past three years I kept saying on day I would go to comic con or wonder con and see their panel. That never happened, never will. None of my friends watch the show so I turned to Tumblr to ‘meet’ other people who watch it. I really love the AoS Tumblr community.

What character development arc (or storyline in general) did you love the most?

All of them? See I don’t know because they’re all different and amazing and taught me something about life.

If I had to pick I’d go with Daisy Johnson of course because she’s amazing and a badass. How she started out as hackavist Skye who was an orphan. Only to find out she has parents who have been looking for her. Also she’s the Juan anlien who has powers. Becomes a superhero and goes on this journey to figure out who she is. Falls in love, has a family, loses a lot, and still comes out strong because there is something worth fighting for out there. Also because I second guess my culture a lot growing up so seeing a female Asian American superhero on TV was really inspiring.

Honestly, hear me out, Wards whole storyline was absolutely amazing and very well written. He’s an undercover spy pretty much, then he’s the bad guy, then he’s trying to be the good guy but has childhood trauma that really screwed him over. Then he’s the bad guy again, then he dies gets brought back to life as Hive. Dies again, rest in piece Lincoln Campbell. Then he gets a redemption in the Framework which kinda shows he has a good side if it weren’t for Garrett. There is my really bad rendition.

Everyone’s storyline is amazing, definitely favorite Daisy Johnson. Ward isn’t my favorite, but I loved how it was written.

What will you miss the most?

The question is, what won’t I miss. I will miss the entire show, cast, and crew. I mean they are literally amazing people who do amazing thing in the entertainment industry.

I’m not even lying when I say this has been such a big part of my life. I’ve learned so much about myself the past few years. The show has been the only constant thing in my life and now it’s gone. I’m not ready! I don’t want to say goodbye to these amazing people and this show!

Favorite quote?

I have a few. They may be a few words off because this is from my memory.

“They’re only human.” Lincoln Campbell’s last words.

“With great power... comes a ton of weird crap that you are not prepared to deal with.” Skye/Daisy Johnson to Mike Peterson.

“I didn’t go to your stupid Shield Hogwarts or whatever.” Skye/Daisy Johnson to Fitzsimmon?

“The steps you take don’t need to be big; the just need to take you in the right direction.” Jemma Simmons to idk.

“May hates coffee.” Coulson to fake May/ Agent 33. That one was funny to me.

“Don’t touch Lola.” Coulson to everyone who tries to touch Lola.

“It’s funny what can happen when someone believes in you.” Coulson and Daisy in the finale.

Yeah I think that’s all of them? Off the top of my head. I might add more just for myself but wow. That’s that then, it’s never going to be the same.

Okay for tags, I am a little late to finishing this and everyone has probably already done it, but just for the final tag I’m gonna tag people anyway. @springmagpies @ohwriteiforgot @tomatobookworm @clementinewhy @2minutes2midnight @agentpolarbear also just me telling you I love all your work. You’re all amazing and thank you for being so nice!

[strangcrdoctor]

name — Kae gender — femaleish star sign — pisces/aeries  height — 5′9″ age — 28 wallpaper on my phone — a clipper ship at sea house — I mean I’d love to think I could be in Command but honestly I’m still probably just a lowly Red Shirt (because Starfleet assignations are my stand-in now) ever crush on a teacher — not really. I liked certain professors but honestly I’ve been teaching for so long that I can’t objectify them anymore because I am now in their shoes. that being said I do not know if I have ever had a student crush on me.  coolest halloween costume — the ones that make the biggest splash are my official Star Trek AOS uniform dresses (with rank added because I, unlike JJ Abrams, do not fuck about)  favorite 90s tv show — The X-Files, because if ya’ll don’t know I’m trash already allow me to remind you last kiss — when I was dating someone last August. over the last 10 years I’ve kissed like... 3 people? Usually at 3-5 year intervals so say hello to my new dry spell. have you ever been stood up — I have actually been stood up on more dates than I have been on dates where people actually showed. my stood-up rate is about 2/3rds. favorite pair of shoes — I have a pair of Born Chelsea boots that are my go-to’s. have you ever been to vegas — yep. I lived there for a summer working as the curator’s intern at the National Atomic Testing Museum. also been to several great concerts there, and Star Trek Vegas multiple times. favorite fruit — it’s a toss-up between watermelon and mango. favorite book — Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman stupidest thing you’ve ever done — being friends with people who denigrated me and then excommunicated me when I broke off from their toxic BS to work toward my goals all time favorite shows —  Star Trek (various), The Witcher, Daredevil & The Defenders, Doctor Who. last movie you saw in theaters — 1917. stolen from — @laughingmagi tagging — you, yes you!

[thecharmingknightemma]

rules

Hello everyone! I'm sorry if this is long but it's necessary so that you can jump straight into writing with me even if Emma is nearly an oc or a stranger to your muses - and because I'm not English and want to be sure it's all clear. I've been writing for eight years and I'm known to be chill and accommodating but I am also extremely aware of what my preferences and comfort zones are so please read the rules.

My name is Ele, I'm 31, cis woman, super friendly, slow because chronically ill especially when it comes to ooc chat which require too much energy and focus from me, so while I love plotting and commenting threads don't expect ooc chats to be a priority if they aren't fully about the threads. This blog has sideblogs: 'monsterinamusicbox', sosadandyetsoamazing, musesonawhim, and more might come. 

This is an AU Blog so you don't really need to have seen OUAT because this is NOT canon Emma Swan, there is no Storybrooke, and the princess Emma who remembers what was meant to happen in OUAT will let you know everything that you missed; so you'll need to read Emma's bio, either her AU enchanted forest backstory OR the backstory from our world which can fit Marvel, DC and other shows, depending on which character you play (it's awkward to realize the other person has no idea of what I'm writing, like I said, this won't be Emma Swan even in our world, she's been raised by her parents).

There is another backstory for non Enchanted Forest crossovers that doesn't have an abusive ex in it, check it out if the original one is triggering for you. You can request it, no explanation needed.

update of July 26: due to my health and lack of time I can't try to plot with every single mutual even if I follow first, so I ask you to please give me a sign you read my pages and would like to rp. Either by liking my many plotting calls, sending me a meme, liking starter calls, anything will do. Often when I try to plot people haven't read my pages yet or don't reply, and it's a lost occasion to plot with people who are ready. Thank you for your understanding.

WHO I RP WITH

I’m mutuals only and selective. If I don't follow you and you try to rp I'll ignore you, because I get anxious about saying no. If curious you can find reasons why I didn't follow you back here. Memes and opens have no expiration date. Untagged nsfw = I unfollow. Some shows I prefer not to interact with because I don't know them or aren't into some of their themes: vampire diaries, teen wolf, riverdale, gossip girls and any zombie/demons show outside of IZombie, Lucifer and Buffy/Angel.

Between asterisks it's what only people who write ouat characters need to read, the rest is for everyone:

**If your character is involved in her backstory, you have every right to discuss details with me so you won't feel godmodded/forced to adapt to it! I will also change things connected to your ch, for example if I write with a Jefferson, Emma's bff will be Ariel and not Grace. I'd rather not interact with ocs that are supposed to be her siblings or children etc. Henry was never born so if you play Henry we should plot it out because my Emma can’t be pregnant as a kid or she will be a completely different character.**

In this blog due to backstory issues she would want Regina dead so I prefer NOT to interact nor come up with new aus in which she’s fine with it (I have 2 plotted exceptions and that’s enough for me), and same goes for people who are currently villains from any fandom, though in that case we can plot out exceptions in which they aren’t being villains; if they are a grey-area, aren't people who hurt her family, and if you are pro-redemption it's fine, if not Emma wouldn't submit to anyone or bother to chat, she will try to kill them or die, so no threads are really doable. She's also not the type to hang out/bother with characters who are rude to her or to insist if they want her to leave, or to support who keeps manipulating her, hurting people or doesn't seem to be helped by her presence at all but keeps coming to her with pain to share (the latter would get a therapist card). Basically: Killian Jones the way he was written in the show, or even a Rumplestiltskin who found Belle and chose to do better and so on are fine. Villains who will mistreat Emma, have hurt her family, or are currently hunting children for sport? Not good for Emma.

TRIGGERS AND WHAT I WON’T WRITE

Triggers will be tagged ‘name of the trigger tw’, you can always ask me to tag more AND tell me if something in her backstory makes you uncomfortable, so that I can find a solution (that issue is resolved/doesn't need to be mentioned) or tell you if it can't be skipped and you can choose not to write with me. I don’t write about miscarriage, toxic/abusive relationships and rape between my character and yours (temporarily evil due to magic/Dark One Emma being manipulative is fine, but rape is still a no). It’s not exactly a trigger but please tag your gore and body horror? The topic of hell is also complicate, I need you not to focus too much on torture and eternal damnation. And please, PLEASE, tag your daddy kink/mommy kink references ic and ooc. 

MEMES

I’d rather get asks when you want to start a thread, reblog all the memes you want from me. I will reblog from the source or send you one if you prefer it that way but I don’t care if you reblog them from me.

ACTIVITY

Sometimes I'm fast, some I'm slow, but you can have as many threads with me as you want, take your time, reply as much as you want as long as you give me enough to write, drop threads, send memes or not. I like icons but I don't need them to write, you can stop using them whenever. 

NSFW and relationships

NSFW of the smut kind will be tagged as such and usually put under read more. I don’t write smut with everyone, only with people I know ooc/feel comfortable writing it with. I love shipping but I DON'T FORCESHIP, FRIENDSHIPS ARE WELCOMED. My Emma is straight. I do not romantically ship her with Neal/Baelfire even in aus, in her dark witch verse he's a past love Emma Swan had. Happy to find out if a relationship works between my Emma and Killian (my nearly automatic otp if you don't write him darker than in canon), the Huntsman, AU Pinocchio, Jefferson, and more if there is chemistry, but friendship is open to any of them too. Here for crossover ships as well. I’d really appreciate if you could tag your Swan Queen and Swan Thief, thank you.

OTHER FANDOMS I LIKE

Due to potential aus or crossovers, as in princess Emma showing up through a portal or me writing aus to adapt to your fandom, I want to bring up that some of the shows and movies I know are/what she can be in them with small changes to her regular backstory:

AOS (she can easily be inhuman or an alien),

Avengers movies (and at least Thor, Cap, Iron Man and Hulk’s movies), Ant-Man, Captain Marvel (same as above),

the 100 (she’s too happy to be anything but someone who comes from an unknown village or comes from one of the unknown worlds),

Chuck (she can be an ordinary human being, enhanced person/semi-alien depending on who rps the Chuck characters),

Elementary (she can be a regular human or whatever you want)

Flash (she can be a metahuman),

Guardians of the Galaxy (Same as for Marvel),

Legends of Tomorrow (human, alien, metahuman),

Doctor Who (she can be anything),

Firefly: she can be anything (I can also shake things up with her being an alien/having powers OR by coming from the planet where fairy tales are real).

Galavant (same universe as the Enchanted Forest),

Supergirl (she can be an ordinary human or alien),

IZombie (human or zombie),

Lost (she can be anything anything)

Buffy and Angel but only the tvshows (human, witch, one of the many new slayers),

Timeless (human unless the other rper prefers a crossover),

Lord of the Rings (probably just princess Emma portal jumping?)

pretty much any famous sitcom like Friends, the Office, Parks and Rec, b99 (likely she can only be human unless asked otherwise).

Also Lucifer and Good Omens (she could be an ordinary human or it’s more of a crossover in which she comes from her own universe and has magic), and more I can’t think of right now.

[shewassoferal]

Hey Ele, I hope you're doing okay

Hello!!!I miss you, hon! 

Ihope it's okay if I post this, so I can give an explanation to everyone, thoughpeople might have already read my last posts. This is the longest break (morethan a month) I have taken from roleplaying since 2012, and since s2 when itcomes to Jemma Simmons!

I'mgoing to tag all the people I owe a reply to so I can give you an update, youdon't have to read, it's just in case you are wondering where I am! you can skip to the end though 

@unaugmentedmonkeyscantfly @angrophobicscientist  @worldscxllide @courageousones @bornfcrthis @maraonlaidre  @sonofpendragon @svpcrqirl @openxstrings @doublehelixed @forthewinn @dcvilinside @iamthexweapon @mindmastered @unworthyheart @angerbuilt (also tagging @conteriario @dcntgiveup @fcrgedstrcngth @corvuscaelestibus I know I don’t owe you but this is where I am. Offline lol)

 Ialready wrote about several reasons I was going to be away: serious moneyproblems, potentially losing electricity, family issues, health issues... andnot much has changed lol 

HOWEVER,I am trying a new therapy and it seems to be having a good effect on me?! I havebeen going out almost once a week, small things because I'm just going to afriend's house, but considering that I spent 12 years basically stuck in myhouse with exceptions like going out once a month or every two months (orthree) and full of meds and panic, it's a LOT for me. But it does tire me alot. Still, it's a big reason to hope.

I amnot working right now because there is a tax situation I need to find out moreabout before I can try doing private jobs, so I don't accidentally drive my family under a bridge or land myself injail, which means I'm doing NOTHING but focusing on my health and trying tosurvive my toxic family situation. And when I'm doing nothing, I automaticallycan't write. I think it's some kind of internal mechanisms that keeps me fromchoosing to only rp and not do anything useful? I could never write unless I was also studying or did what I was meant to do. I can't do an internship in my physicalconditions yet so I'm stuck like this, with my 'you aren't doing anythingproductive' guilt keeping me from writing. And of course, like I said, myfamily situation is a disaster, so I truly have to focus on being as healthy aspossible so that I can MOVE OUT.

That,and I have an AOS problem, the problem being that I grew too bitter about theshow, so now I don't think I can watch s6 (or if I do it’s just for inspiration but I won’t be analyzing it, just watching it as passively as possible), since I get extra negative, bitterand even a bit anxious whenever I see any s6 promo or read any fandom thingabout it, because I feel the need to point out all the things I hate and how many things I disagree with, whichwould ruin it for people who enjoy it, I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade but I also don’t want to talk about aos canon anymore - except with some friends to salt. So I'll have to think of a solution in which Ihappily keep writing my Jemma, who went au anyway and isn’t touched by it, but don't... talk aboutcanon aos with anyone, don't even read about it, so that I won't get upset. I'mall for 'if it makes you unhappy drop it', it's a tv show after all. Sorry to all aos fans, it’s just my personal taste that doesn’t make the show work for me anymore. 

AlsoI have been gone for weeks now so I don't know how many people will still behappy to rp with me when I get back, because I get that the enthusiasm about a thread goes downthe longer it doesn't get a reply. I'll still surely try to get back to drafts(and not expect replies back) but when I'll come back I'll likely be slowerbecause I have to try to do more things outside of writing now that my body isslightly better (seriously, I missed all my life from age 18 until 30 -and westill don't know why- and I have to pull some self-care now, because it'smandatory that I find a way out of my house as soon as possible through a joband probably my friends' help at the beginning when I need to eat before thefirst paycheck)

that, and while I do miss writing, I can dedicate less time to it (I used to spend like... what, 18 hours at my laptop until a month ago? lol) because I’m still going at grandpas, I’m re-studying math to tutor people, I’m trying to take advantage of my health and talking to my friends more, so I feel like... I can’t be here 100% and I’ll end up replying only to a few threads not being able to talk ooc as much, and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. So that’s that. I need to find a new routine, one that doesn’t involve me studying anymore but involves me trying to be physically healthier so I can get a job and leave, and also me having a more normal life as much as it’s possible! 

summing it up for whoever skipped this: self-care is happening, also less time to be dedicated to rp but I still love it and miss all my threads, want to come back but need to avoid positive posts about aos or anything about the next season, might come back but won’t expect people to reply back because it’s been a while and that’s okay, I used to spend all day sitting at my laptop but with my heath being a bit better for the first time in 12 years I have to try to do more so I will be able to leave my house and my bad situation. 

[sadbi-hours]

I was tagged by @ismaelmyblogisamess. Thank you!

Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. Don’t cheat. Tag 10( or however many) peeps.

1. Agents of shield

2. Stranger things

3. Pose

4. Euphoria

5. Sense8

1. Who is your favorite character in 2?

It’s a tie between Steve and newcomer Robin. 

I was never much for the ST bandwagon. I watched s1 and kind of waved in and out afterwards...but s3 was amazing, and I think Steve and Robin’s friendship was what made it so special for me! 

They made Robin a flesh and bone character. I knew she wasn’t  just going to be a love interest whether or not she ended up with Steve...and then, BOOM! she’s never going to be Steve’s love interest...She’s a lesbian. Wow, just slay me right here. It wasn’t tact on as an afterthought, it was who she was the entire time. Robin Buckley was going to be her own person...and her character wouldn’t end up being wrapped up in a romance with Steve. 

I mean the rest of the season was amazing too, but I really watched it because of their dynamic...

2. Who is your least favorite character in 1?

Jemma. Don’t get me wrong! I love her...I wouldn’t write or ship her character with Daisy and Fitz if I didn’t. But my love for her went through a long ass journey.  

 Like most things with me when it comes to this show, it’s freaking complicated. 

3. What is your favorite episode of 4?

I don’t really have a favorite ep. when it come to Euphoria. They were all equally  amazing and important!

4. What is your favorite season of 5?

Season 1

5. Who is your favorite couple in 3?

I know that people will probably come after me with pitchforks, but I really liked the relationship between Stan and Angel. Yeah, it was toxic and dysfunctional...and sure, Stan could be a complete d-bag...and yes, I’m glad she gave him his walking papers at the end of season 1. 

But they had amazing chemistry...and if Stan ever got his shit together, I would love to see them end up together...but who knows? 

No offense to Lil’ Papi, but it just doesn’t work for me...his and Angel’s thing that they got going on. 

6. Who is your favorite couple in 2?

Stoncy (JonthanxNancyxSteve)

7. What’s your favorite episode of 1?

Umm. I can confess that I kind of wave in and out of Aos now. I haven’t watched religiously since season 2...but since I have issues when it comes to season 2, I would have to say my favorite ep. of season 1 is ep.13 (aka T.R.A.C.K.S.)

8. What is your favorite episode of 5?

It’s a tie between 1x04 (aka What’s going on?) and the series finale special (aka  Amor Vincit Omnia) for two reasons. 

The amazing use of 4 non blonde’s What’s up? in 1x04 and all the ralagang sweetness of the series finale. 

9. What is your favorite season of 2?

Umm, seriously, season 3. 

10. How long have you watched 1?

Since it aired. I mainly go in and out now. 

11. How did you become interested in 3?

It was suggested to me through Netflix since I watch AHS...and I was bored and I love Evan Peters and I thought Indya Moore was freaking sexy as hell...and this fanvid pretty much cemented the fact that I was gonna be on this show like white on rice.

And basically, a multitude of another personal reasons. 

12. Who is your favorite actor in 4?

I fucking hate Nate Jacobs, but somehow the bastard freaking intrigues me. Plus, Jacob Elordi’s mesmerizingly haunting portrayal of him didn’t help matters either. 

Oh, and every single actor/actress in that show blew me away so...  

13. Which you prefer, 1, 2 or 5?

Come on, don’t make me choose! Well, I guess number one...it’s been the show that I watched the longest. 

14. Which show have you seen more episodes, 1 or 3?

Umm, one. 

15. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

Ugh! You have watched Euphoria right?! I wouldn’t want to be any of them...but I can relate to Rue and Ethan the most. 

I have a lot of mental health and drug/addiction issues like Rue and I’ve been in a situation with a girl that I liked in HS like Ethan...but only I didn’t get a happy ending with my crush...and I’m still working on the mental and addiction problems. It’s an uphill battle, you know? 

Plus, the girl wasn’t near as awesome and emotionally mature (as much as any character can be emotionally sane in anything when it comes to that show) like Kat is.    

16. Would a crossover between 3 or 4 work?

No. They are set in two different decades.   

17. Pair two characters in 1 who would make unlikely but strangely okay couple.

I think almost all pairings (canon or not) can work someway...somehow...in Aos. 

18. Overall, which show has the best storyline, 3 or 5?

I think Sense8, for all it’s flaws has a more interesting and connective storylines. I can get bored with somethings that happen in Pose. 

I never really got bored with Sense8. 

19. Which has a better theme music, 2 or 4?

Euphoria’s many different opening theme songs without a doubt.   

I’ll be tagging: @florchis, @whistlingwindtree, @guerins, @graceklly, @theclaravoyant, @bobbimorseisbisexual, @grimeysociety, @smallblueandloud, @buckyrhodey, and @luckynik

[havemyoldusername]

So I’ve noticed a lot of what I’m calling ‘toxic fandoms’ lately...

So this is something I’ve wanted to address for some time.

I’m calling them toxic fandoms because they push out people who don’t agree with a vocal side. I’ve seen this a lot. I’ve been bullied. Called racist. A piece of shit. A motherfucker. A cunt. All of it. Why? Because I personally ship Barry Allen and Caitlin Snow and not West Allen.

This is also been seen in the Star Wars fandom, which I am also a part of. I don’t personally ship anything really in SW but If someone ships Reylo, then they’re racist because they don’t ship FinnRey.

What. The. Fuck.

I’ve noticed this because it especially relates to fandoms with a main or canon ship that involves POC. If the main ship is one that involves POC, then the alternative ship that doesn’t involve POC is inherently racist. This is a mindset in fandoms right now. I don’t care if someone ships Iris and Barry or Rey and Finn, I don’t look at a skin colour and go “I’m not gonna ship that because she’s black or he’s black”. No. I’ll ship based on the characters I like the best and whether or not they have chemistry. Simple as that.

And those that are the fandom bullies for shipping usually strike you down for putting a post in the tag of their ship when it is relevant to the post. I had someone on my post about liking Nora West Allen despite being a SnowBarry shipper (a statement I now retract given Nora’s recent behaviour) call me a piece of shit for putting it in the westAllen tag because I mentioned that I’m a SnowBarry shipper. What I did wrong? Nothing. What I got shit for? Liking two characters together romantically instead of the canon ship that I like better as friends.

Why the fuck can’t people in these fandoms agree to disagree?

Take Teen Wolf for example. Most people in the fandom ship Stiles and Derek (me excluded. I’m on team Stydia y’all) which has never even been a canon ship. Do they get shit for it? Not as far as I know.

Agents of shield has had multiple relationships with the characters. Canon ships, awesome, non-canon ships, awesome as well. You do you. Basically everyone in the AOS fandom agrees to disagree and there little to no toxicity from it. Even people who write fanfics for Fitz/Aida, while a lot of us really hate the ship, we don’t say anything. They have an audience and don’t get shit from the rest of us.

So, Flash Fandom. People ship different things. Let them. They aren’t racist if they don’t ship WA, they aren’t racist if they don’t particularly like Iris and they aren’t racist if they like SnowBarry better. It’s not because Iris is black and Caitlin is white. It’s none of that. Don’t bully people, because that’s what a lot of WA stans are doing and I’m so fucking sick of it. You see a post you don’t like? Don’t respond. Easy. Shut your mouth if you feel like responding to a SnowBarry shipper with hostility. Just chill and agree to disagree.

Star Wars fandom. It’s not racism if someone doesn’t ship FinnRey or they ship Reylo instead. Let them ship what they want to ship and don’t give people hate for it because then you’re being a bully. Being a bully is not becoming and you might think you’re doing good by “exposing the racists” but you’re not. Because 9 times out of 10 who you’re responding to isn’t a racist and didn’t ask for your shit.

You feel like hating on someone because they like a “controversial ship”? Don’t. Simple as that. People get so much hate. I got so much hate from someone who had never seen a post from my blog before and decided to call me a racist motherfucker.

Leave people alone. Let them ship what they ship. Don’t be a toxic part of the fandom.

[academiaipromise]

I posted 3,097 times in 2021

94 posts created (3%)

3003 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 31.9 posts.

I added 178 tags in 2021

#🥺🥺🥺 - 26 posts

#hp - 25 posts

#sydrian - 20 posts

#midnight mass spoilers - 20 posts

#bloodlines - 18 posts

#🥺🥺🥺🥺 - 17 posts

#midnight mass - 16 posts

#wow - 13 posts

#goodbye - 12 posts

#aos - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 142 characters

#to clarify i’m mostly on the media studies end of everything and i’m trying to finish up my research at a masters program before 🤞🏻hopefully

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

i just want to quickly acknowledge: i love adrian??? he’s one of my favorite characters and i love bloodlines mainly because of the am characters and their relationships and growth! love them, love him, whatever (have we established that i’m sydrian trash yet? yes? awesome). my issue is that a) rodrian is an explicitly toxic romance that should not be made up to be another side of a love triangle between the good guy and “bad boy” because b) making adrian a ya brooding, bad-boy archetype is going to actually make me incredibly angry. i understand we’re in the va world so we’re seeing adrian from rose’s perspective, but i do want to keep acknowledging that for the entirety of the first series he was actively dealing with addiction and untreated mental illness so yeah, the tweet kind of...rubbed me the wrong way is all. he’s not a quirky bad boy who drinks a lot and i don’t love him being marketed like that, and sure maybe i’m just sensitive because i love him but if this is the way adrian is treated when j*lie pl*c is a self-proclaimed adrian stan???? yikes is all that’s left to say.

25 notes • Posted 2021-05-24 21:30:30 GMT

#4

me watching episode 8 of wandavision *SPOILERS*

27 notes • Posted 2021-02-20 01:27:34 GMT

#3

footage of msgr pruitt bringing back a vampire to turn his parish into a death cult

82 notes • Posted 2021-10-03 23:34:37 GMT

#2

the way cruel summer just played out half of the scenes (with martin and kate) exactly as they happened between aria and ezra on pll but called it what it was is...well i’m not gonna call it progress because it’s 2021 but like. felt something there.

171 notes • Posted 2021-06-09 03:12:09 GMT

#1

not julie plec adapting vampire academy idk if i’m excited or devastated not gonna lie

198 notes • Posted 2021-05-19 17:40:43 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[becketted]

It’s curious that not every fandom has people pulling the “but even if you tag anti your posts still show up in the character’s tag!” and refusing to learn how to use tumblr.

For example, take R/eylo. I don’t know if this was different in the early days but I don’t see people going to EVERY post in the Anti R/eylo tag claiming that the anti post shows up in their tags and demaninding that the person writing critically of the ship find an alternative tag (there are some, but given the size of their fandom the percentage is almost nothing). No, more all less everybody in that fandom accepts the existence of the anti tag and they don’t complain about the Tumblr system being “broken” (it’s not, it takes asimple #) and showing them posts from the anti tags. R/eylo shippers obviously attack anti posts, but they attack the content, I don’t see them going “just for your information your posts shows up in the r/eylo tag”. And they know how anti tags work perfectly because they have their own anti-anti tag, the “anti r/eylo bs” tag.

But in the Agents of SHIELD fandom this has always been an issue. Before the Fitz fans started jumping at our posts the Grant Ward stans and Skyeward shippers also tried the same move, saying that we were trolling the tags and calling me bully (they even celebrated my harassment and the fact that they provoked me panic attacks) even though never in my life did I use the tags for Ward or Skyeward. So this thing Fitz fans are doing it’s not new, but it doesn’t happen in every fandom. Meanwhile of course they can write terrible stuff about Daisy not only mentioning her by name but putting it in her tags - the people who didn’t see anything wrong with content that romanticized the abuse of a woman of color at the hands of a Nazi in her own tags for years now demand that we don’t even use the anti tags when we want to criticize a white man with toxic behaviors. If only they had cared so much about people not accidentally seeing negative stuff when I had to see gifsets that romanticized a rape threat against Daisy in the “daisy johnson” tag. They are acting like us NOT using their tags, and in fact using the anti tag that they can easily filter for their convenience, is way worse than encountering racism purposedly tagged as the character of color’s name.

But of course fans of minority characters or minority ships have always known how to use the tags. We might complain when someone is pruposedly and maliciously crossposting, but if it’s not tagged as the character we don’t go and pick on every negative post that has the character name on it. How come some of us have spent years correctly using Tumblr but then we get told that the system is broken and could we please just be critical - if we have to - in a way that makes it impossible for anyone actually searching for critical stuff to find it?

I don’t have any conclusion to reach from this; just that some fandoms seem more willing to accept the existence of anti tags (and even respect it to some extent - yeah the R/eylos crosspost, but their usual excuse “the antis do it too!” comes with the tacit agreement that crossposting, even in the anti tags, is a bad thing), and I don’t think it has to do with the toxicity of what’s being criticized (look at Skyeward, more toxic that any pairing and they pulled the “your anti posts show up in my tag!” ruse). Maybe it has to do with the size of the side writing critically? Unfortunately and thanks to the disgusting behavior of the Big 3 ships and their collusion with each other, Agents of SHIELD is not a fandom where people are used to seeing content criticizing white characters - characters of color? Of course, even in their own tags. White characters no matter how awful, even Nazis and rapists? That’s not a common ocurrence in the AoS fandom. To a certain extent I understand why these white dude stans have never bothered learning how Tumblr works, they just assumed all the content about their white faves was going to be forever positive, and all the racist stuff they put in the main tags, well, that was just the objective truth, right? And fandom has made it easy for them to believe everyone else has to accomodate to that view, and bend over bakcwards or better yet shut up completely, rather than them bothering to type a simple #

[tokillabarton]

ok listen listen i know i haven’t been able to be here for the last month ( because the world hates me // i had so much shit to do in december that i didn’t even gave a shit about my own fuckin birthday ) but today is new years and i need to get Emotional™ bc some shit happened this year, huh.

y’all don’t see me talk about this often but i had a terrible time in the beginning of this year. i was a Fuckin Mess, due to both personal reasons and shit that wasn’t even my fault. n e wayz, the great disappearance of 2016-2017 happened and i ran away to my hanz//o blog. that turned out ehhhhh okay but i just. i knew abandoning borney was a bad idea. so, as nobody expected, i returned here around june??? of this year??? and IM SO GLAD I DID HOLY SHIT I LOV MY SON BORNEY BORTON

a ny wayz i’m so glad i did???? because even though i shit on the marvel fandom / tungle dot com for being Hella Toxic, i realized i made some real friends here, and goddamn were you good to me. without noticing, you made me get through the Shit Era of Early 2017 and the Shitter Era of Late 2017. so i just.

thank you. for everything.

( i wanna tag all mi friends/inspirations on here bc i’m gonna be That bitch too so here we goooo : @blndspxt & @rebellionheir / @bestmorgan / @underoosed / @agentvencm / @codenamemockingbird / @worstmorgan / @youusedme / @deathrisen / @awkeye / @notasoccermom & @rapiertwo / @vnmblasts / @trashkyrie / @silverskins& @bleachthatshit / @hraunwyf / @outlawiism / @cfheroism / @focusedtotality / @arrowsbro / @qdir / @fastiell & @impct / @urobouros / @sapphirescales / @hdtvtits / @tahitiwoke / @talentforlying / @seamonstress / @xaedificare / @queenxcersei / @queenspy / @c137th / @alleyspat / @edithbarton & @hitslikeatruck / @ifworthy / @ironclad / @kilgod + definitely more that im forgettin l m ao I LOV U ALL )

[chroniclesofedward]

Left on the floor #1

Reader’s block. (Early January of 2017)

Hey viewers, and hi 2017 please be kind to me, this is my new filming spot. I’m home alone so I can be loud.

I just had a pity party 2 days ago, hadn’t had one of those in a long time.

So a few days ago, I just got back to school. And as usual after the holidays, I could not write. You know that feeling after a long holiday, you start to try to write and gah! Malfunction. Malfunction. Yeah.

School is as dreadful as usual, being excluded as always. Every morning on the car ride to school I would listen to my compilation album, to coax my mind into accepting the fact that I am taking another a plunge into this toxic social pool.

Anyway, during the holiday there was a point when I was so bored of youtube, I had to take a break from it, it was highly liberating! It gave me so many hours to do other things. Because for a few months now, youtube has been the number 1 most time-depleting activity. I cannot help but to engage in.

During my youtube sabbath, that lasted for a week, I took up reading, but now since I am back in the iron grips of youtube, my interest in reading has been unfortunately defeated. During the sabbath, I read this whole book, I could read tens of pages in a day, while still scrutinizing most of the verbal constructs. Now i’m trying to read this old favorite I last read in 2014 I think, and I can only read 3 pages at most in a day.

I looked it up and it’s called a reader’s block or reading slump; It’s a condition when you lose interest in reading any literature, during the peak of my interest, I had read this book, and a year worth of updates on all the webcomics I had put off reading, plus all the available pages of these two new webcomics, and I read 2 volumes of Ao no exorcist online, and because I didn’t expect to lose interest I have bought these books. I am afraid my interest in reading won’t reemerge.

I had had a reader’s block before, in 2014 after I finished reading all of the hunger games trilogy, The fault in our stars, and Warm Bodies. And I only had a brief reemergence in the December of 2016th that lasted for only a week. That’s unfortunate.

Also on the holidays I said I didn’t enjoy being nocturnal, well i’d like to recount my experience of the holiday season of 2014; when my mother and father and younger brother went to Korea for a week, I chose to stay at home alone, because I cannot stand them. Anyway, during that week, I was nocturnal, I woke up at twilight yeah 6pm and go to bed on 6 or 7 am every day of that week. I re-watched avatar the last airbender series, and watched all the episodes of the legend of Korra that were available then, I started a fan blog for avatar on tumblr, and each evening when I wake up I would monitor the ATLA tag and reblog every new post that had been posted since I last reblogged from the tag. I never missed a single post. I was completely ecstatic living like that, I remember eating pizza and drinking sprite all day, with little blue beside my laptop.

I guess because that time I had full control of the house, there were never any obstacle, in carrying out my days as I pleased, whereas this holiday, I got people in the house, and meals had to be eaten at a predetermined schedule. I guess that made all the difference, I was actually looking forward to going back to school. Not just because of that coffee i mentioned on my last video, almost everyday of my holiday, I can’t sleep for some reason.

Also I am not going to another city. Yes, I’m glad. After persistently refusing, my mother granted me reprieve from my demanded attendance on the wedding. Although she did throw all my clean laundries onto the floor, and yelled abuse on my face. Not the first time. But i’m finally home alone again. It’s been splendid.

Also i’ve been questioning whether i’m dumb or not for not being able to understand any videos, from PBS Idea Channel.

well then that’s all, goodbye.