#me having s ton of aus before was a mistake

[wolfythewitch]

My two anon braincells competing for dominance

[flwrstqr]

CALL ME YOURS !! (LHS - 이희승)

SYNOPSIS: ever since you broke up with your ex, choi jiho, who cheated on you with another girl, you have always wanted to get revenge. when you meet jiho again at school, to prove you were over him and had met a better man, you told him you were meeting someone. you lied and told him you were meeting a random guy who you pointed at on your school's bulletin board for being the top student in the whole school. coincidentally, that guy was lee heeseung, known for his quiet and smart personality. then jiho demands to meet him in real life, hand-in-hand with you, which now you have a huge problem. first, you have to find heeseung, and next, you have to date him.

pairing: topstudent!heeseung x popularstudentfem!reader

genre: fake dating, s2l, romance, high school au, sunshine x cold

warning(s): reader + heeseung being in denial, your ex cheated, kissing, inspired by a k-drama (i forgot which one), two of them being awfully awkward at first, swearing, grammar errors, party, lots of love confusions, does say that winter is dating beomgyu, punching, fighting

word count: 7k

AN: guys im back with a long au, i never really write long aus, so this is slightly new to me. i did proofread it but not super thoroughly so if i made any mistakes, my bad for that .

taglist: @yenqa @mylstserenade @jlheon @naespas @jooniesbears-blog @erehkinnie30 @wonifullove @miumiuisme @shawnyle @dimplewonie @beomluvrr @jiaant11 @teddywonss

ALL YOU WANTED WAS REVENGE. Sweet revenge against your idiotic ex, Choi Jiho.You remember the moment you walked into the girls locker room to go deliver something to your PE coach, only to find the room “empty”. It hit you like a ton of bricks when you stumbled upon Jiho, locking lips with your “supposed” best friend, Kim Haeun, in the girl’s locker room Lip on lip, eyes closed, moving in sync. Heart shattered, tears streaming, you bolted, tripping over a basket of equipment and scraping your knees quickly catching attention of Jiho. His voice trailed after you, calling your name as you fled into the distance.

Losing both your best friend and your boyfriend cut deep. Being single was one thing, but being unable to find anyone who measured up to Jiho was another.

"YN, your standards for men are too high!" Karina remarked from the bleachers during PE.

You shrugged. "They've always been high." For the past 4 months, no one was your type compared to Jiho, the perfect boyfriend in your eyes: tall, handsome, a football player, rich, and occasionally nice.

"It's because of that disgusting asshole," Ningning scoffed.

"He isn't disgusting!" you retorted.

"YN, you need to get over him. This is just becoming toxic, plus you dumped him in front of the whole school ," Giselle chimed in. She was right. You vividly recalled the moment, twenty minutes before the bell, eyes swollen from crying all night but disguised behind makeup, replaying yesterday's scene you witnessed in your mind.

"YN!" Jiho's voice snapped you back to reality, his figure rushing towards you.

"Can we talk?" he asked, breathless.

"Talk about how you fucking cheated on me? Fine, I'll hear you out," you yelled, drawing everyone's attention.

"Can you keep it down, YN?" Jiho snapped.

"Sure I’ll quiet it down when I want to. Go to your girlfriend, Haeun. Why does she have to be my best friend, out of all people?" you glared.

"YN, let's talk inside," Jiho groaned, irritated.

"No, we're done. I never wanted you anyway, you asshole. Just fuck off," you spat, the words stinging even as they left your mouth The next thing you knew the scene spreaded like wildfire at school.

"Are you okay?" Minjeong asked as you sobbed at the lunch table.

"Listen, YN, Jiho wasn't worth it. You saw what you saw," Karina tried to console.

"I don't know... it's just over now," you murmured, head in your hands.

"Maybe it's a sign to find someone better," Ningning suggested.

"I don't know..." you whispered, feeling lost, unable to move on.

“I’m for sure there’s someone way better than him.” Giselle added (biggest lie you ever heard).

MONTHS PASSED AND YOU FOUND YOURSELF IN THE LIBRARY, lending a hand to the librarian in organizing books before school started. As you went about your duties, dropping off books and preparing to fetch more, the one and only, Jiho, stood by the school bulletin board waiting for you. It had been months since the breakup, and yet, the wound was still fresh, a constant reminder of the pain (really yn..)

"I wanted to say a word," Jiho awkwardly mumbled, eyeing you for a reaction, his hands in his pockets.

You reluctantly agreed, "Fine, make it quick. I'm busy."

"I broke up with Haeun," he stated, the words hanging in the air.

"What?" Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. 

"I ended things with Kim Haeun," he said more firmly. His words sank in, but confusion lingered. But why was he telling you this now? Then it hit you—he wanted you back. Yet, on a day when you missed him, you suddenly felt nothing. He had left you for another girl (well, technically, you dumped him), betrayed you, and now he came back because you were his second choice?

"Why are you telling me this?" You managed to maintain calm.

"I still like you, YN LN," he confessed, causing your eyes to widen. You bit your lip, before you could accept his confession like your 5 minute ago self would. Your heart didn’t thump like it did when you were around him. Your hands weren’t sweaty like they were when he looked at you before. Your mind wasn’t racing like it was when Jiho confessed to you for the first time, months ago. It was nothing like any of that–you just felt empty and cold.

"I'm seeing someone," you blurted out, realizing the lie you had just said. Crossing your fingers, you hoped he wouldn't ask about the identity of your "so-said boyfriend"

"Who?" he inquired, raising his eyebrow. Desperately searching for an excuse, your eyes landed on the bulletin board, displaying a list of top students and their ID photos.

Rushing over, you pointed at the first photo and name you saw, "That guy," you said, reading his name, "...Lee Heeseung! I'm dating him."

"Oh, really?" Jiho cast a skeptical glance between you and the photo, a smirk playing on his lips. "Then," he leaned in closer, "how about you introduce me to him, hand-in-hand, next week? I want to see if he's worthy of you." Panic rushed in you, and your throat went dry. You forced a smile and nodded in reluctant agreement.

"Sure," you replied.

"Great, see you next week," Jiho said, turning and walking away. You were officially doomed. Now, you have to find this Lee Heeseung and give him a deal.

YOU WANDERED DURING LUNCH, TRYING TO FIND HEESEUNG. You only heard about him because he got a perfect score on the hardest SAT exams, but you didn't really pay attention.

"Heeseung? Sorry, I don’t know who he is," a girl replied when you asked her about Heeseung.

"It's okay," you smiled politely and left, feeling frustrated.

"I'll never find him," you groaned to Karina, who was with you while you asked everyone about Heeseung.

"Why did you lie to Jiho then? I thought you weren’t over him. Last night, you were giggling at how cute Jiho is and how much you want him back," Karina asked, taking a bite of her apple.

"I don’t know. He was just using me. I knew it because he and Haeun broke up," you explained, letting out a soft sigh. "He saw me as a second option, and I got into this mess because I lied to him about having a boyfriend who's probably some ugly nerd."

"I told you he was using you the entire time! But you didn’t trust me!" Karina scolded you.

"Sorry, I was just blind back then," you mumbled.

Before your last attempt, you walked up to a boy and asked the same question you’d been asking everyone.

"Do you know Lee Heeseung by any chance?" you asked. The boy's eyes widened, and a big grin spread across his face.

"Yes, I do! For what reason?" the boy quickly replied. For the first time, someone knew who he was.

"Do you know where he is then?" you inquired, hoping he could help.

"I do. I’m close friends with him. Come, I’ll show you where he is," the boy replied as you followed him, waving to Karina goodbye.

As the two of you awkwardly made up the long staircase, you arrived at the rooftop of the school. When the boy opened the door, a lonely figure sat by the table, reading a book.

"Heeseung!" the boy called out, causing the figure, supposedly Heeseung, to turn around.

"What, Jungwon?" Heeseung raised his eyebrow, quickly glancing at you and then back at Jungwon.

"YN was looking for you," Jungwon quickly said, nudging you to speak. Heeseung obviously knew who you were, known for dating Jiho and your soft-delicate visuals.

You walked towards him awkwardly, “Uhm…can we talk privately?” Slightly glancing at Jungwon, signaling him to leave quietly. As Jungwon left quietly, you cleared your throat.

“So…” you started off a bit nervous, “I need some help?”

"What help?" Heeseung answered a bit coldly, “If it’s anything studying related, I’m not interested-”

"I need help dating," you blurted, realizing what you had just said.

"What?" Heeseung gave you a puzzled look, "Dating what?"

"I lied to Jiho. Okay, I don’t have interest in you or even Jiho. I lied to him saying that I’m meeting you," you spilled the news. Heeseung had an empty look on his face as you tried to read his expression.

“Why me?” Heeseung arched his eyebrow.

“You were the first name I saw,” you explained, “So can you fake date me? I need it, please,” you pleaded, hoping he would accept your request.

"No, I’m not interested," he turned around, quickly getting his book to start reading again. Your jaw dropped, no one had ever rejected you like that.

"What?" you spat, feeling terrible that you got rejected for the first time.

"I’m not interested in you or in dating. So, I strongly believe that I shouldn’t do it," he said, quickly focusing his attention on his book.

“I’ll do anything!” you begged, feeling desperate.

"Anything?" Heeseung quickly averted his attention to you, dropping his book slightly to make eye contact with you.

"Yes, anything. I’ll do anything," you replied, hoping he would accept it.

"Then introduce me to her," Heeseung answered. You looked confused.

"Who's her?" you raised your eyebrow.

Heeseung’s cheek slightly blushed, it was the first time you saw him so embarrassed. “Karina,” he mumbled under his breath. Suddenly it clicked—he was interested in Karina, your best friend.

You gave an eager look, “Deal! I’ll introduce you to her after all of the fake dating.” You pulled out your hand.

"Deal," Heeseung replied, shaking your hand.

A  FEW DAYS LATER, YOU FIND YOURSELF in the convenience store, an unexpected place for someone like you—a popular girl to be at. Your outfit was simpler than usual, baggy gray sweats and a white tank top, with your hair thrown up in a messy high ponytail and an oversized jacket completing the look.

You scan the snack aisle, contemplating your choices, when the doorbell chimes, signaling a customer had entered. Your heart thumps as you recognize the last person you expected to encounter—Heeseung. He's dressed in simple gray sweatpants and a black hoodie, his messy hair somehow adding to his charm.

Your eyes lock momentarily before you both awkwardly shuffle towards each other. "What brings you here?" you ask, surprised to find him in a convenience store at 2 am.

"Why are you up so late?" he counters, swiftly turning the interrogation on you.

"I couldn't sleep. What's your excuse?" you reply.

"Studying," he responds matter-of-factly, grabbing an energy drink before swiftly checking out and leaving. You hurry after him, catching up as he strides down the street.

"Studying late? That's a first," you mutter to yourself, gazing up at the night sky.

"I don’t want to flunk my classes, unlike you," he retorts, avoiding your gaze.

"I'm not that hopeless," you roll your eyes.

"Yeah, you are," he quips, taking a sip of his drink.

"Hey!" you playfully threaten, pulling back your arm as if to hit him. But then something unexpected happens—you catch sight of Heeseung's smile, genuine and endearing. You quickly shake off any wayward thoughts; after all, you're just his so-called “girlfriend”.

"Where do you live?" you inquire, trying to change the subject.

"Stalker much?" Heeseung teases.

"Shut up," you retort, rolling your eyes.

"I live in the house near the college," he answers, disposing of his empty can.

"Do you walk to school?" you ask, trying to prolong the conversation.

"Yeah," he replies.

"Then... do you want to walk together tomorrow?" you suggest, stopping in the quiet and empty streets.

"Walk together?" he repeats, surprised.

You nod and quickly add, "Yeah, you know, for you know..."

Heeseung considers for a moment before agreeing, "Sure."

"Great! I'll come by your place at 7 am since school starts at 7:30!" you smile, remembering to ask for his number. He inserts it into your phone, adding, "Don't blow up my phone."

"I'm not that obsessed with you," you retort.

"I think you are," he jokes.

"In your dreams," you shoot back.

YOU FOUND YOURSELF STANDING OUTSIDE Heeseung's door, feeling an awkward knot tighten in your stomach as you waited, fingers fidgeting nervously. After what seemed like hours, the door swung open to reveal a woman, likely Heeseung's mother.

"Hi, who are you?" she inquired, her eyes curious but welcoming.

"I'm YN LN," you replied, managing a warm smile despite your nerves. "A friend of Heeseung's."

"Heeseung's friend?" Her expression softened into a delighted grin. "I didn't realize Heeseung had such a pretty friend. I'm Heeseung's mother. Just call me Mrs. Lee."

"Mom..." Heeseung's voice interrupted, his presence suddenly beside you as he quickly shuffled to put on his shoes.

"Heeseung, she seems like a sweet and pretty girl," Mrs. Lee remarked before Heeseung darted, closing the door behind him before his mother could say anything else.

"Your mother seems really nice," you commented, attempting to ease the tension.

"Mhm," Heeseung mumbled, his attention already diverted to his book that he quickly pulled out from his backpack. 

With a pointed look, you reached out your hand, silently urging him to remember.

Heeseung sighed, rolling his eyes in mild exasperation, but he relented, tucking the book away and clasping your hand in his. The touch sent a jolt through you, a feeling you couldn't quite grasp.

"So..." you began, eager to break the silence. "Where's your class?"

"Class 3-B," he replied shortly, his gaze fixed ahead as if unwilling to meet your eyes.

"Mine's right next door." you exclaimed, hoping to inject some enthusiasm into the conversation. "Perfect! Do you know what this means?"

"What?" Heeseung's response was clipped, his tone guarded.

"That I can come over to your class during lunch!" you declared with a wide grin, trying to lighten the mood.

"I eat on the rooftop, alone." he added, emphasizing the word alone.

"Ah, I forget you’re a loner," you teased gently.

"At least I'm productive with my free time," he retorted.

"Well, today we're together!" you suggested brightly and then with a smirk you whispered, "And I can introduce you to... Karina." The mention of your best friend's name made Heeseung blush slightly.

"Shut up," he groaned, moving to cover your mouth with his free hand just in case you would say anything else.

"Like I want to-" feeling a sudden hard squeeze in your hand "Ow..."

"Now shut up before I squeeze harder," Heeseung warned, though there was a hint of genuine threat in his tone.

"You're no fun," you muttered. Eventually, you arrived at the school, fingers still intertwined as you drew curious whispers from the hallway.

"YN and Heeseung, dating? No way..." you heard a girl whisper by the lockers, causing a flush of embarrassment to color your cheeks. When you reached Heeseung's classroom, you reluctantly released his hand, noticing the tension in his posture as he leaned against the doorframe.

"See you later?" you asked, "I'll be on the rooftop during break."

"Alright..." Heeseung's response was hesitant, but then came an unexpected word that caught you off guard. "...baby." The pet name hung in the air.

"R-right... anyway, bye..." you stammered, feeling a rush of different emotions. You'd been in relationships before, but you were never so flustered for such small things like that. Could it be... you weren't falling for him, right?

HEESEUNG SETTLED AT THE EMPTY TABLE on the rooftop, his gaze drifting across the school grounds. The rooftop held a special meaning for him, offering a quiet place to read, barely visited by others.

“Heeseung!” Your voice sliced through the silence, drawing his attention. He glanced up to see you approaching, two lunches in hand.

With a bright grin, you placed the meals in front of him. “I brought lunch!”

"Thanks," Heeseung replied , his tone cool as he examined the homemade kimbap. As you both sat down, awkwardness settled between you, by the avoidance of eye contact.

Summoning his courage, Heeseung brought a question that had lingered in his mind for months. "Why did you like Choi Jiho?"

Your eyes widened at the unexpected, catching you off guard. You paused, hesitating with how to respond.Memories of Jiho flooded your mind. You had forgotten about him for the past 4 days due to Heeseung being on your mind 24/7.

You cleared your throat, summoning a bitter lie to your lips. "I... uh, he was nice, I guess."

"Did Jiho even like you back?" Heeseung's question cut through the air. That’s when you realized something. You remembered the way Jiho would never defend you in any moment or barely spend time with you. And the time when he did? He would always be on his phone. You realized how stupid you were as you thought the moments where he just wanted attention from the public by kissing you or flirting with you meant that he loved you. 

"I... I don't know," you admitted. Deep down, you knew the painful reality—that Jiho had used you.

"Oh, okay..." Heeseung responded, sensing the weight of your words. "So, let's change the top—"

"I know he didn't like me," you interjected, your gaze drifting to the sky before meeting Heeseung's gaze. "I know he was the worst boyfriend I could ask for."

Confusion flickered across Heeseung's features at your sudden confession.

"I was blind. I regret it," you murmured, your gaze falling to your lap. "But it's in the past."

Heeseung regarded you with his usual stern and cold look. "Then why did you tell Jiho you were meeting someone else?"

"Because... I wanted to prove I was happier now," you muttered, grappling with your tumultuous emotions.

"Are you?" Heeseung's gaze bore into yours.

"I... I think I am," you replied

"You 'think'?" Heeseung pressed, his tone firm.

"I'm happier than before," you insisted, though the vagueness of your answer hung in the air.

"That's not specific," Heeseung challenged.

"I can't be specific," you confessed, frustration simmering beneath the surface. "Because I don't know, at all."

"Are you sure?" Heeseung persisted.

"Heeseung, it's my feelings, yes I'm sure," you asserted.

"I'm just physically and mentally curious, so it allured me to—" Heeseung began, but you cut him off.

"Okay, I think that's enough. The bell's going to ring soon. Text me later!" With that, you rose abruptly, snatching your lunch bag and offering a quick wave before descending the stairs back to class.

HEESEUNG LAY ON  HIS BED,  staring up at the ceiling. He knew he should be studying, but your words about Jiho lingered in his mind. "I'm happier than before." Why was he even pondering such things? Lost in thought, he was jolted back to reality by a faint buzz from his phone. Retrieving it, he found a message from you.

YN LN: heeseung!! all my friends rejected me to go to the mall TT, so wanna go together?? ><

Heeseung paused, a moment of surprise flashing across his features. You were asking him to go to the mall with you? It felt almost like you were asking him out. He composed himself and replied:

Heeseung: Sure. Send location and time, I’ll be there.

Putting down his phone, he realized the weight of his agreement. He had just agreed to go on a date with you. And now, he needed to get ready. Hastily, he rummaged through his closet, seeking out a suitable outfit. Opting for his lone stylish varsity jacket paired with jeans, he ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to tidy it up.

Rushing to the mall, he found you leaning against a store wall, your attention fixed on your phone. As he approached, a cupid seemed to strike him with an arrow as his cheeks flushed. The simplicity of your outfit and the gentle cascade of your hair rendered you utterly captivating.

You looked up, catching sight of Heeseung's slightly stunned expression, and greeted him with a warm smile, gesturing for him to join you.

"Hi," Heeseung muttered, still awestruck by your beauty.

"Hi!" you returned the greeting with equal warmth. "I just need to buy some makeup for my friends, or maybe myself, and possibly shop around! Anything you need?"

"Not necessarily," Heeseung replied, scanning the mall.

"Okay then, follow me," you said, seizing his arm and leading him to the nearest makeup store. Arriving at the lip product section, you perused the selection of lipsticks, lip glosses, and lip tints. Grabbing a random lip tint, you turned to Heeseung.

"Can I try it on you? I need to see if it looks good on a person," you suggested.

"What? When did I sign up for this?" Heeseung sighed.

"Please," you pleaded, giving him your best pout. "I can erase it right after."

"Fine."

With careful precision, you applied the tint to his lips. The warmth of his breath brushed against your cheeks and neck, sending a flurry of sensations through you. Your heart raced as you admired his perfectly shaped lips, now tinted with color. After smoothing out any unevenness, you stepped back to admire the look.

"Hmm... I think this works," you concluded, grabbing the new tint to go check out and pay for it.

YOU SAVORED THE SWEET TASTE OF vanilla ice cream as you took a bite, sitting side by side with Heeseung on the bench outside the convenient store where you first met. He listened attentively as you shared stories about your friends and family.

"And then Giselle told me—" Your sentence was cut short as Heeseung's fingers delicately wiped a smudge of ice cream from the corner of your lips.

"Mhm?" He hummed softly, encouraging you to continue. Your heart fluttered at his touch, beating rapidly in your chest.

"...y-yeah," you stammered, trying to regain your composure, your gaze drifting to the hues of the sunset painting the sky in shades of blue and orange.

"Are you done with your story?" Heeseung inquired, to which you nodded hastily. You weren't finished, but another word might turn you into a flustered mess.

After a brief silence, you suggested, "How about we go for a walk by the Han River?" Heeseung agreed with a nod, and soon you found yourselves strolling side by side along the riverbank, the gentle sound of water trickling in the background adding to the peaceful atmosphere.

Unexpectedly, Heeseung asked, "Are you going to the dance?" It was a question he wouldn't normally ask.

"The dance?" you raised an eyebrow, caught off guard by his inquiry.

"Yeah, the school dance?" Heeseung clarified, his expression tinged with skepticism.

"Oh, well, yeah," you replied, feeling a pang of disappointment as you remembered his feelings for Karina. He didn't like you, so why did you allow yourself to hope for something more?

"Is Karina going?" Heeseung continued, and you struggled to find your voice, your throat suddenly dry.

"O-oh, uhm, I think she's going..." you managed to say, the reality of your situation crashing down on you like a wave. Foolish fantasies had consumed you for the past five days, but now you bit your lip to stave off the embarrassment and tears threatening to surface.

"I think I'm tired. I'm gonna go home now. Bye, Heeseung," you forced a small smile before turning away, walking in the opposite direction. Heeseung watched you go, a confused expression clouding his features as you moved farther and farther away.

LEANING AGAINST THE WALL, you found yourself lost in thoughts of Heeseung, the person who was on your mind day in and day out. Why did it bother you so much if he had feelings for your best friend, Karina? Why did his presence hold such sway over you?

"YN?" Winter's voice broke through your trail of thoughts,snapping you back to reality.

"Oh, sorry, I was zoning out," you replied, trying to shake off the distraction.

"You've been distant all day. Is everything okay?" Ningning's concern was evident in her voice.

"Just tired, didn't get much sleep last night," you reassured them with a forced smile, hoping they wouldn't press further.

"Are you sure?" Giselle's skepticism lingered, her gaze searching yours.

"It's nothing, just life being complicated," you offered, trying to reassure their worries.

"If you need to talk, we're here for you," Karina chimed in, her comforting touch on your hands a familiar gesture she usually did. How you longed to confess and tell them about Heeseung and the jumble of emotions you felt and fought with, but the fear of ruining your relationships with both him and Karina kept you quiet.

At that moment, it came to you: you were in love with Heeseung. It had to be a mistake right? You could never like someone like Heeseung.  The way your heart thumped when Heeseung did small actions like hold your hand or even wipe off anything from your mouth.

 Yet, you couldn't shake the fear, the fear of history repeating itself with someone like Jiho, selfish and foolish. What was the point of falling for someone who didn't accept your feelings and liked someone else

HEESEUNG HAD REHEARSED EVERY WORD, every breath, for the moment he would finally summon the courage to ask you out for dinner. With trembling fingers, he reached for his phone, his thumb hovering over the call button. The weight of his nerves pressed down on him as he prepared to take the risk.

As the phone rang, his heart raced, the sound of your voice on the other end sending a jumble of emotions through him "Hello?" you answered, your voice like music and beauty to his ears.

"Hi..." Heeseung replied, his voice betraying his unease.

"Why did you call me?" you asked, curiosity tinged but yet your voice sounded heavy and drained. Heeseung couldn't help but notice the change in your tone for the past days, wondering if he had somehow caused it. Had he done something wrong? 

"I was just wondering if... uhm... you wanted to go get dinner tonight together?" Heeseung's voice faltered slightly, the weight of his question hanging in the air.

"Dinner tonight?" Your voice held a hint of confusion, but there was also a spark of interest. "When and where?" you inquired.

"At the Japanese place down the block, at 6?" Heeseung suggested, hoping you would agree.

"Sure, I'll see you at 6 then," you replied, your voice brightening slightly.

"Right, anyways, bye!" Heeseung quickly ended the call, a rush of happiness coursing through him. He had done it. He asked you out for dinner.

With a sense of pride, Heeseung flopped onto his bed, his phone resting on his chest as. a wide grin spread across his face. He replayed the conversation in his mind, excited for the evening of day. 

Meanwhile, on the other end of the line, you couldn't contain your excitement. Heeseung. Lee Heeseung. had. Asked. you. out. to. dinner. You, YN LN.  You couldn't help but squeal with delight into your pillow.

Eager to make a good impression, you jumped out of bed and rushed to your closet, rummaging through your clothes in search of the perfect outfit for the occasion. 

HEESEUNG SAT NERVOUSLY, tapping the table as he waited for you to arrive. Within minutes, you rushed in and quickly spotted him.

"Hi!" you greeted with a smile, settling down at the table.

"Hi," he smiled back (inside you felt a flutter at how cute his smile was). You both looked at the menu and ordered as the waiter approached. After eating, you quietly walked outside, enjoying the cool evening air.

The dark, cloudless sky revealed a glimmering array of stars. You admired the view, unaware that Heeseung was watching you, captivated by your beauty.

"The stars are so pretty," you remarked in awe.

"Mhm," he replied, still focused on you. Suddenly, you felt his fingers gently tuck a stray hair behind your ear. Your face flushed as butterflies fluttered in your stomach.

"I have a question, YN..." Heeseung began, and you turned to him, curious.

"Do you... want to go to the dance?" he asked. Your heart raced, your stomach churned, and your head spun. He had just asked you to the dance.

"T-the dance?" you stuttered.

"Yeah... I mean, just as... you know, for visual purposes," he tried to clarify.

"Right..." you nodded, agreeing. "I'll go with you." Heeseung's face lit up with a big grin as you accepted his invitation.

"That's great! I'll, um... see you at the dance then," Heeseung said with a small smile and a wave as you both went your separate ways, heading home with a light heart.

As you walked home, your mind buzzed with excitement. The thought of going to the dance with Heeseung made your heart skip a beat. You couldn't help but replay the moment he asked you, feeling a rush of happiness each time. It was like a dream come true, and you couldn't wait for the night of the dance to arrive.

WEEKS FLEW BY, each one filled with anticipation, excitement, and a series of dates. Finally, the much-anticipated day of the dance had arrived. It had been six weeks since you eagerly marked this date on your calendar. Reflecting on the past four months since you met Heeseung, you knew deep down that you were head over heels in love with him. The moment he asked you to the dance, those feelings intensified.

"Do you think this dress is pretty enough?" you asked, twirling in your knee-length black dress adorned with delicate lace details, a sweetheart neckline, and spaghetti straps.  The dress hugged your figure perfectly.

"It's gorgeous," Ningning complimented, deftly assisting with your hair.

"It's perfect, just like you," Winter reassured, adjusting your dress with care.

"Easy for you to say, with Beomgyu as your date," you teased, prompting laughter from your friends.

"And you have Heeseung," Winter smiled, smoothing out the fabric of your dress.

"You two are so cute together," Giselle teased, earning a blush from you.

"I love you guys," you said, feeling grateful for their support as you shared a group hug.

"Even if I'm dating a man, you'll always be my number one," Winter jokes, lightening the mood as you head to Karina's car.

Upon arriving at the dance, the lively atmosphere was perfect. Laughter, music, and chatter filled the room as people talked, danced, and enjoyed themselves. Spotting Heeseung entering the room, you felt a rush of excitement.

He looked perfect in his suit, his hair perfectly styled. Rushing over to him, you greeted him with a beaming smile.

"Heeseung!" you exclaimed. Heeseung looked up, his eyes lighting up at the sight of you. I

"You look amazing, YN," Heeseung complimented, his smile genuine.

"Thanks, but you're the one who looks stunning," you replied, feeling your heart flutter as you took in his appearance. "Come on, let's grab some snacks and go have fun!"

The next two hours were filled with laughter, dancing, and cherished moments spent with Heeseung and your friends. However, it was until you excused yourself to the bathroom, to then meet Jiho.

"YN," Jiho's voice cut through the noise, sending a chill down your spine.

"What do you want, Jiho?" you asked, your tone laced with irritation.

"Are you here with your 'so-called' boyfriend, Heeseung?" Jiho taunted, a smirk playing on his lips.

"Yes, and what's it to you?" you retorted, your patience wearing thin.

“Yeah there is.” his smirk widened, “Don’t act stupid, I knew everything.” 

“God I hate you Jiho.”  you spat, feeling your anger rise.

"Come on, YN. Admit you still love me, and everything will go back to normal," Jiho sneered.

“I don’t even like you anymore, Jiho.”  you said firmly, trying to keep your composure.

"Oh, really? Maybe this will change your mind," Jiho said, leaning in closer. You felt his fingers slip into your waist, his grip firm and tight. You felt his face leaning closer to yours. You quickly stepped back and pushed him aside. 

“Are you fucking crazy?” you yelled. 

“YN, why are you so pissed? Not like you like anyone.”  Jiho's eyes bore into yours, a smirk playing on his lips.

“I don’t want to fucking kiss you,” you glared, “Now fuck off please.” 

“Why is it because of Heeseung? Your fake boyfriend? God, he probably doesn’t even like you YN. He only likes you because you're popular.” he laughed. Your heart sank at his cruel words. The words stung as you heard each word. Heeseung was just a stupid fake boyfriend you had. The two of you had never had a real relationship. A real love. Was Heeseung just playing with your feelings? Did Heeseung even love you like how much you loved him? 

"I hate you, Jiho," you whispered before leaving the party alone, your heart felt heavy. 

YOU SPENT HOURS lying in bed, staring out the rain-splattered window, your cheeks damp from the relentless stream of tears. Days had passed since the dance, and you hadn't mustered the strength to leave the confines of your home. 

"YN, you've been here for hours," Karina's voice broke through the silence, her concern evident as she entered your room. 

"Why didn't you text me?" 

"Phone died," you muttered, burying your face deeper into the sheets.

"Tell me what's wrong," Karina urged gently, taking a seat beside you. 

"I don't know," you confessed, your voice barely audible. 

"Come on," Karina coaxed, her comforting presence offering a glimmer of solace. 

"Okay, fine," you relented, the words tumbling out in a rush. "Jiho said some awful things to me at the dance. Now I'm a wreck, and I can't face Heeseung. I'm in love with him, and it's tearing me apart." 

Karina's eyes widened at the torrent of emotions pouring out. "And you kept this from me all this time?" 

"Karina, I didn't know what to do," you admitted, your voice choking with emotion. "I thought Heeseung felt the same way, but then Jiho made me doubt everything."

"How does Jiho know anything? He's not Heeseung," Karina retorted, frustration evident in her tone. "He's just trying to mess with your head." 

"But what if he's right? What if Heeseung was just pretending all along?" you sighed, a heavy weight settling in your chest. 

"YN," Karina's voice softened, her touch gentle as she sought to comfort you. "How do you know Heeseung doesn't like you? Have you talked to him?" 

"I haven't," you admitted, uncertainty clouding your thoughts.

"Then how can you be so sure?" Karina questioned, her eyes searching yours. "Heeseung cares about you, YN. He was worried sick after the dance. He searched everywhere for you and even left the party early out of concern."

"Are you serious?" you asked, a glimmer of hope flickering in your eyes. 

"Dead serious," Karina affirmed, her sincerity unwavering. "Talk to him, YN. You'll see." 

"But what if I'm wrong?" you hesitated, your fear holding you back. "Just trust me on this," Karina reassured, squeezing your hand gently. "Talk to Heeseung. You'll thank me later." Karina offered you a reassuring smile before enveloping you in an embrace.

HEESEUNG WAS SERIOUSLY DEAD WORRIED about you. He thought you were possibly hit by some car or even worse kidnapped. His thoughts wandered as he tried to think of all the possibilities you were. You stopped even coming to school for weeks.

The memory of the dance replayed in his mind like a broken record, haunting him with unanswered questions. Your sudden disappearance after excusing yourself to the bathroom left him questionable and restless. Desperately, he asked your friends as your friends only left him shrugs and quietness making him uneasy of the situation.

When you finally returned after a week-long absence, Heeseung couldn't help but notice the change in you. You awfully looked tired and you had eyebags. And the most important change, you were avoiding Heeseung. Was it something he had done to mess things up?

Heeseung sat at his usual spot on the rooftop, gazing out at the view, trying to get his thoughts out.

"Look who it is, Lee Heeseung," a voice pierced through the silence, pulling Heeseung from his reverie. Turning, he found Jiho leaning casually against the stairway exit, a smirk playing on his lips.

"Heeseung's girlfriend, huh?" Jiho taunted, his words hitting Heeseung like a sudden blow.

"What did you do to YN?" Heeseung's voice was edged with a mixture of anger and concern, his gaze sharp.

"Nothing much, just a little truth-telling," Jiho chuckled, his demeanor full of arrogance. 

"What truth?" Heeseung's tone was laced with urgency, his fists clenched in frustration.

“Just a few things that need to be said. Like how you guys are just dating, nothing more than that.”

Heeseung's jaw tightened as the weight of Jiho's words settled in, his mind reeling with disbelief and anger.

"Do you even know why YN hates you?" Heeseung spat, his voice seething with contempt.

"Why don't you tell me?" Jiho's smirk widened.

"Cause you’re truly an awful person” Heeseung retorted, his patience wearing thin.

“Oh really?” Jiho teased, “I didn’t know.”

Jiho's mocking laughter only fueled Heeseung's rage, his frustration exploding into action as he delivered a swift punch to Jiho's jaw.

"You're really undeserving of her," Heeseung's words echoed in the empty space.

“You could punch me as many times, I don’t care.” Jiho smiled. 

“I would but actually I don’t want to see your ugly face, so fuck off.” Heeseung stormed out of the rooftop leaving Jiho alone on the ground.

IT WAS 1 AM WHEN YOU FOUND YOURSELF at the convenience store, clad in your most comfortable clothes, not even caring if people saw you. The rush of cold air from the conditioner greeted you as you stepped inside, scanning the assortment of snacks. The scent of sweet delights filled your senses, tempting you to buy more. You reached for a snack when the chime of the door signaled someone's arrival.

Looking up, you were met with the sight of Heeseung standing across the store, his gaze fixed on you. It felt like deja vu, reminiscent of the first time you laid eyes on him. Your throat went dry, memories of Jiho's words echoing in your mind: "He probably doesn’t even like you." Anxious, you bit your lip as Heeseung approached.

"Can we talk outside?" Heeseung's voice broke through the tension. With a quiet nod, you followed him out of the store.

"YN, what's going on?" Heeseung's concern was evident as he confronted you, hoping you would answer honestly.

"Heeseung, it's nothing," you lied

"It's not nothing," Heeseung persisted, his tone firm.

"Okay, fine, I'll tell you. I fell in love with you, but then Jiho made me doubt everything. I thought you probably didn’t even like me, maybe you liked Karina instead. What was the point of being with you if I'm only going to hurt myself?" The words spilled out in a rush, leaving you empty.. Heeseung froze at your confession, disbelief in his expression.

"You like me?" Heeseung's eyebrow arched in surprise.

"I know you don't like me—" Before you could finish, Heeseung silenced you with a soft kiss. His lips were soft and perfect.You felt his fingers sliding into your waist, pulling you closer to deepen the kiss. Your lips were moving in sync, in the same passion, kissing each other back. You felt his fingers intertwined with yours, drawing soft circles on the back of your hand.

Pulling away, breathless, you attempted to speak, but Heeseung beat you to it. "I like you a lot, YN. I was in denial of my feelings for months, but I realized I was actually in love with you." You widen your eyes at his confession

"Heeseung, you're not lying, right?" suspicion tinged your words.

"Do you think I would ever lie to you?" Heeseung chuckled, tucking your hair behind your ear, a gesture that he would always done 

"No, but it all seems non-real," you confessed.

Heeseung's laughter, the sound you cherished the most, filled the air. "Then, will you be my real girlfriend, YN LN?"

"Of course, any day I'll choose you," you smiled, leaning in for another kiss. 

MONTHS HAD PASSED and you found yourself in a state of bliss you never imagined possible. Seated on the rooftop with Heeseung, your fingers intertwined, you gazed out into the view before you, the cool breeze enveloping you in a sense of serenity.

"Look how far we've come," you remarked, a smile gracing your lips as you watched Heeseung absentmindedly draw small patterns on your palm.

"Yeah," Heeseung nodded, his touch gentle and comforting.

"I love you, Heeseung," you whispered softly, your words carrying the weight of your affection.

"I love you more," Heeseung replied in a tender whisper, his warm breath tickling the sensitive skin of your neck as he leaned in to press a series of delicate kisses along its curve.

"Heeseung, that tickles!" you laughed, squirming slightly at the sensation.

"This is your punishment for getting a 60% on the exam," Heeseung teased, his tone playful yet teasing.

"Hey, I'm not some nerd like you!" you retorted, playfully poking his side.

"Nerd?" Heeseung chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

"A cute nerd," you amended with a grin, your heart swelling with affection.

"And you're my cute princess," Heeseung declared, pressing a sweet and tender kiss to your lips, his love for you shining brightly in his eyes. You truly were in love with Heeseung, and you weren’t going to deny it.

[spicyseonghwas]

skz - reaction to reader getting hit on by other men

pairing :: skz x male reader (discludes woojin; i write for him as a soloist) rating :: 15+ ; suggestive content genres/au's :: fluff, slight suggestive, boyfriend!skz content warnings :: light cursing, insinuated physical contact, mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of murder, reader referred to as a piece of art one (1) time. tell me if i missed something! word count :: a/n this request has been split up into 4 parts to keep yall on ur toes! requested by @wo-ai-ni-yong [ask] network tag @preciousillusions-net

chan, changbin ; han, minho ; i.n, felix ; hyunjin, seungmin

~ yang jeongin/i.n

i really don't feel like he would be very sober?? when this situation occurs??

drunk but not wasted.

and that would heavily impact how he treats the other guy(s) during the confrontation.

he would be really aggressively possessive whether he was drunk or not, but in any situation like this, the only thing stopping him from whooping ass (not in the kinky way) is if he's dead.

it's really no use for you to tell him "let's just leave," because he won't just leave. it would hurt his pride and dignity too much to let them escape.

but if he were sober in this kind of situation i feel like he would be a bit calmer at first?

for sure he would try his best to tell the other party to fuck off before he thew punches.

but in any state of his mental availability, he would be very very possessive of you, because you're his boy, and he would be very confrontational and aggressive, because no one touches his prized painting.

~ lee felix

felix would IN. NO. W O R L D . even ALLOW another man to get within a mile of you unless it's his friends or you have a metric ton of proof that you and the other man are just friends.

and he would never make a mistake in this endeavor. if his gut tells him "keep that motherfucker away..."

then he's gonna keep that motherfucker away.

and if he somehow gets coerced into letting someone close to you and then catches them hitting on you...

beat that boy widda bat.

headline: "kpop superstar lee felix sentenced to 10 years in prison for second degree murder"

© seonghwas-lighter 2023-2024.

[randomfoggytiger]

Best pining fanfics? Mulder pining, Scully pining, both of them, I love it all. Need some angsty "they couldn't possibly feel the way I feel" admiring-from-a-distance (possibly buildup to love confession) fics in my life.

<3

Oooooooooooooooh, that's interesting-- usually don't go for the pining myself, BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT that doesn't mean there aren't a ton I have stashed away. ;))) Brb!

Unironically most (if not all) of @cecilysass's work have pining with requited love, some examples: The Kaleidoscope (S6, Scully dating, both pining), How to Eat Pleasant Holiday Meals With Co-Workers (mostly pining, including IVF and later "breakup" Thanksgiving), Pause (AU after Requiem-- pregnant Scully was "dead" for a year before being returned with amnesia after FTF. PINING.), The Boy on the Beach (AU time travel case after Amor Fati-- Mulder misinterpreted his experience, Scully feels deeply hurt and is given the opportunity to save Samantha from the "past." Both realizing mistakes and talking), and I'll throw in All the Dead Mulders (post Three Words Mulder goes to his family's grave to find closure and/or himself. Scully tracks him down in the end) and Not Orpheus, Not Eurydice (S5 Mulder and Scully feed pond ducks by a church and talk, beautiful) because there's some pining but more importantly, they're my favorite of her fics.

@nowwhateinstein's Now That You're Around Me-- (Mulder and Scully's closer relationship is almost ruined by Diana's pestering at the FBI ball.)

Violetta_Valery's The bittersweetness of pie (Breakup Mulder wanders into town, having lost everything except his craving for sweet potato pie. There he sees Scully with a guy, misinterprets everything, and rushes in to save her honor. All ends well.)

SqueekaCuomo's It’s Not Really about Krampus (Scully has insomnia at her family's Christmas; and Mulder keeps calling. She realizes he misses her and that she loves him.)

@agent-troi's pining and denial during her ongoing IVF Platonic Procreation (an example of how everyone could be telling you the truth and you could be denying it until you're blue in the face.)

allthings2020's The Mood Ring (almost makes Mulder and Scully confront their feelings.)

@tofuttim's Agent Scully is Already in Love (post Milagro Mulder didn't know Scully loves him; and fears that loving him will ruin her. She understands.)

@slippinmickeys's The Concept of Dualism (Melissa makes Mulder and Scully crash in one place post Dod Kalm so she can care for them) and Three Sentence Prompts - Chapter 15 (AU The End where Scully is shot instead, Gibson reassuring her of Mulder's love as she fades away.)

@welsharcher's *chef's kiss* The Almost Kiss (Small Potatoes Mulder realizes Scully wanted more, backs away since he can't be "that" right now. Both pining) and No Place for Me (post The End Scully feels rejected, hears Mulder's heartbroken tears.)

@baronessblixen wrote some great Rain King-- I Saw You In My Dreams (Scully thinks Mulder was dreaming about Diana, realizes it's her name in Kansas), this one (Mulder and Scully talk out their tenseness by recollecting how he always supported her during the cancer arc), and this funny one (Mulder wakes, happy, then sneezes in Scully's hair-- not so much pining as enjoying?)-- and One Son pining-- this one (Mulder and Scully are both mad at each other and their "betrayals") and Never Cold With You By My Side (Fowley locks up Mulder and Scully in Fort Marlene overnight-- Scully so angry she pushes Mulder away until she's forced to ask for body heat.)

Lapsed_Scholar's Atonement counts, I believe (cancer arc Scully is hurt that Mulder dips without talking to her at all-- turns out, he was following Jewish customs to try to barter for her recovery or to atone for his mistakes that are being foisted, he thinks, on his partner.)

@amplifyme's Roghnaíonn Mé Tú counts, I think (S7 Scully is thunderstruck that Mulder had chosen her over Samantha in End Game.)

Hope these are enough for now! XDDDD Sorry this took me a bit; but I hope you have a wonderful weekend reading~. :DDDDD

Edit: WAIT I'm kicking myself for forgetting @suitablyaggrieved's Fictober Day 10 (S2 Mulder wants Scully back; but Skinner's not budging) and Mulder hears the door (Mulder pining for Scully while she's abducted, Skinner trying to help.)

[muntadhir]

I was listening to Fedez’s Così and for some reason I remembered how much I love that one Fabrizio Moro song with the WOLVES!!! (Sono anni che ti aspetto.)

“Sono mio padre e i suoi errori” (I am my father and his mistakes) has always been a lyric I really liked. It makes me think of Carlo potentially becoming more like his father, even maybe in a sort of AU where he lives and he falls into being a shitty dad too — but maybe something happens to make him realize and he breaks the cycle. OR: related, but Carlo living on in P’s Mind Palace, and Carlo being a shitty dad/realizing his mistakes occurs there. OR, conversely: the concept of Carlo dying before he can ever become like Geppetto (not that he would, but I like the concept of a third party noting that, like, “would his father’s neglect have made Carlo cruel someday?”).

The line/title “sono anni che ti aspetto” (I’ve been waiting for you for years) also gives me vile Geppetto/his son(s) vibes, but also carmeo/promeo. On the part of Geppetto/his sons: Carlo feeling like he’s waited for Geppetto for years, to love him; Geppetto feeling like he’s waited years for Carlo to come back to him (for all we know, maybe it has been); and building off the previous one with Geppetto, maybe P has had some manner of consciousness for a long time as Geppetto is working on him, maybe not even consciously waiting to be awoken because he doesn’t know there’s anything else out there (or maybe he is/does!), but once he wakes up maybe he feels a ton of emotions crash down on him, like his very sexy desire to find father!!! Save father! Protecc.

On the part of carmeo/promeo: basically Romeo waiting for Carlo, y’know, as the king. I weep.

This is me talking about like, fic/fanon btw, not canon, as per usual. ;^)

[wolfspiders-web]

Fallout: 009

So, I've had this CRAZY idea knocking around in my head for years to make a crossover/AU of Fallout (in particular, 4) and because this anime has been my eternal brainrot since the early 2000's, Cyborg 009. I mean hey, if the Institute can have functional teleportation then I can throw in superpowered cyborg soldiers for funsies. This draws inspiration from multiple incarnations of the series with more emphasis placed on the 2001 “Cyborg Soldier” anime, so this is more of a retelling of that using the location and lore of FO4's Commonwealth. Also, I might have cranked up the “tragic backstory” for some of them up to 11. Things.. snowballed a little. okay maybe a lot actually, I'm so sorry to 001 in particular They are flawed, but they are still human, and they're attempting to make the best of an incredibly shit situation.

I meant for this to be an askblog-type thing that never went anywhere because I couldn't find the inspiration for art, but at this point I feel I have a metric ton of written material (the main profile document for the 00-Cyborgs, Dr. Gilmore, and the Dolphin is 25 pages long and technically still unfinished). I'm going to continue to spiff up and infodump to this sideblog, but if any y'all have a question about something you're more than welcome to ask it!

(special thanks to @gghoulishh for helping me hash out so many details! I should have started posting this years ago tbh)

Mini-profiles for the main cast below the cut:

001 Ivan Wisky

Son of pre-war Black Ghost cyberneticist Dr. Gamo Wisky, 001 is a telepathic and telekinetic psyker, the stressful process of becoming a cyborg having “unlocked” Ivan’s brain and these new abilities. Super-intelligence was the original goal, but Black Ghost was extremely pleased with this unforeseen outcome. Dr. Wisky had offered his own newborn son as a test subject but didn’t do it out of any particular love for the dying child; the only reason was because Dr. Wisky was being blamed for multiple failures on the Cyborg Soldier project and would have likely been killed for it. Despite appearances, he is a tactician on par with 008.

002 Jet Link

Having been tricked into getting into a vehicle with Black Ghost agents inside, Jet was taken for the Cyborg Soldier project right off the streets of New York. He's one of the most shell-shocked out of the original generation of 00-Cyborgs; having the living, breathing city of New York fresh in his memory as if it was only just moments ago. He’s unable to believe his home, his country, has been reduced to an irradiated and dilapidated ruin. However, this new wastelander life still feels like being back in his old gang; fighting for survival every day with a group of united people, just with the ability to fly at high speeds with rocket legs.

003 Francois Arnoul

Extremely perceptive to others even before being remodeled, Francois now has the ability to detect life through walls and at great distances through audio cues and x-ray vision. Due to her sound-based abilities she is also an excellent mimic and ventriloquist, and can store then use any animal or creature roar she hears to incite fear and confusion. A pre-war French-Canadian citizen, her brother was the last person to see her during her kidnapping, though now she has no family but the Cyborgs. The dissonance of the present time to her memories of a simpler time causes her great distress, but Francois has become a master of bottling her emotions to not worry her team.

004 Albert Heinrich

More machine than man, some mistake Albert for a prototype android with his assortment of mechanical parts and very little actual flesh left. Legally blind due to how the sensor implants in his eyes didn't take too well, but he can still see with them. He was taken by Black Ghost agents after a routine flight home with his fiance went horribly awry, leaving her dead and Albert dying. Black Ghost agents found him in the wreckage and turned him into a walking arsenal. The knowledge that he shares more in common with a robobrain than his original humanity weighs heavily on him.

005 “Junior”

For those who don’t know him, many take Junior’s silence as a sign of your average Super Mutant’s below average intelligence. But somehow in the process of FEV mutation he kept his sanity, intelligence, and his humanity; unfortunately he does not remember anything about his past after the process was complete. Black Ghost, ever willing to push the envelope, modified an already strong being into an unstoppable force. Despite this, Junior is a literal gentle giant as many of the wasteland’s non-monstrous wildlife will approach him and even relax in his presence.

006 Chang Chanku

A short man, but one who could probably wrestle a potential meal into submission if he wasn’t already a walking flamethrower. Before Black Ghost took him, Chang was a Brahmin farmer and an excellent cook; he still is due to his newfound control over fire. Being a Chinese descendant of those interred in camps before the Great War, one would think that Chang needs to watch his back in the country that his ancestors once tried to invade. But the idea of “Chinese” and “American” burned in nuclear fire generations ago, and all but the most devoted to history have long since forgotten. Now, everyone is united under one banner: as survivors.

007 “Great Britain”

A pre-War actor gone ghoul, GB has seen the world gone to hell in a handbasket firsthand but that doesn't seem to have effected his cheerful demeanor. Or he just doesn't see the point in caring about it anymore. His love is still the theater life he made his career in before the Great War stole it away, particularly Shakespeare's works. His augmentation is a highly experimental, highly top secret one involving the use of nanomachine technology gained from a crashed alien mothership. This gives him active camouflage and allows him to morph his body into almost any desired shape and back using a button on his stomach that resembles a hernia. With 003 supplying sound effects they make a terrifyingly convincing combination.

008 Pyunma

The only one with real combat experience before becoming a cyborg soldier, Pyunma was once the leader of an infamous local raider group before being kidnapped by Black Ghost. As the field tactician of the group he knows how to fight, and the dirtiest ways to fight, though the team prefers to not come to that. His specialty is water combat and he is able to breathe underwater, though as the highly irradiated waters in and around Boston are a danger to what's left of his organics he has extremely high radiation resistance to compensate.

009 Joe Shimamura

The golden child and final member of the 00-Cyborg prototypes. Before Joe was taken by Black Ghost he was in the courier service, his natural speed and endurance doing him well in the dangerous expanse of the wastes. An orphan, Joe was raised by the owner of a courier service in his village and he was found to be a natural born runner. Now even that has been upgraded past the limits of the human body, which would make him one hell of a courier if Joe could go back to his old job. But his ties are with his new "family" now, having become a reluctant member of the rebel 00-Cyborgs who are now trying to right the wrongs of their creators as well as survive in an unforgiving wasteland.

Dr. Issac Gilmore

A high ranking cyberneticist of the Black Ghost organization, Gilmore defects with the rest of the cyborgs in a hoax hostage situation in order to escape Black Ghost's grasp and cope with his own guilt over what he's done. He advises the team from a distance during operations and handles all their maintenance himself. He has varying degrees of insight into the factions of the Commonwealth, such as how the Black Ghost, Institute, and even the Enclave and BoS operate. Dr. Gilmore’s knowledge is invaluable for dealing with these groups politically – and offensively if it ever has to come to that.

[agkrakow]

It is little past midnight, I see the lights, at the castle, the old glassworks, the churches and the synagogues. They remind me of the Middle Ages, renaissance, communism and I don´t like it. All those glorious failed success stories. Success. Mistake, nobody seems to care about. Just as the sun is rising, I have decided to leave. Turning around, the first rays of sunshine blind two of my eyes, looking into the future. The other two now clearly discern other stranger´s eyes and the future those eyes saw during the night, still resonating, becomes the past. Confusedly, I close all my four eyes. 

Open my two ears. 

hear

1000 people talking

about everything, everywhere, anytime

a fruitful chaos, a new beginning

like alibaba

jack mas baby

that he abandoned when it reached adulthood

jack mama a confused parent

with plans for 102 years, but only 30 to live

after public, private

night                                                                                                                          

listen

14400 tons of watervapour

breath out

condense

drip

get visible

write me a note

crack the glass

communism scattered on the floor

capitalism in the air

invariance, resonance

where the hell are we? come on, dance [1]

What kind of bird are you? [2]

a moth

I want to see the light, I want to be the light.

Clonk

like a confused daguerreotype [3]

he is flat

plain

straight

sleek

slick

slippery

clean

polished

outright

unruffled

suave

silken

like a door

a door like Janus?

turn around

bye, hi

don´t be so harsh

raw?

tough!

wild?

hard!

stark?

throaty!

choke

I am a sponge,

Bonemarrow

dripping in oil

warm, white, wealthy

a new color [4]

the shadow gathering [5]

it

no name

there never would be

rightly so [4]

255, 0, 0

Contraction [5]

red

stop

green

go

speed of light 

turning gold to red 

and silver to white [6]

evening

love

marry

neither possession, nor command [7]

a state of solid [8]

sound

and sick

confusedly together [9]

giggle

a scattered smile 

sporadic joy

hick-up                       

hook-up

rather dead than spotted [10]

rather seen and potted

porcelain

the ermine

titles of honor 

occasion of trouble 

order of subjects 

wealth

object loved or hated [11]

sellthe

house s

ellthec

ar sell

thekids [12]

sub-sub-urbia [13]

blind eyed purlieu [14]

botany of dream [15]

children, scream, cry but they don´t sing [16]

sweet air

sleepless nights                                                                                                         

salty breakfast                                                                                                          

secret good byes

2 ears

2 mouths

a lot of love

less listening

Janus?

never one

never another

always seeing

mistrustfully [15]

                                                                               

surprisedly

he remembers me

and can´t turn

he has no back

I turn mine on him

talking now to Jim

for janus´ sake, 

he´s looking to the future

seeing me, his mistake

seeing

Krakow,

crack ouch

listen,

Jack, wow

[1] Brooks, Quick, Margiela artisanal 2022 collection: And where the hell are we? Come on, dance.

[2] Max Ernst, Écritures: Interrogation au second degré / What kind of bird are you? / Êtes-vous niniche? / Un petit bleu? / Un ami? / Un vrai? / Gai? / Parisienne? / Un peu de calme

[3] Marx, Collected Works: At the same time the shadow gathered color, like a confused daguerreotype.

[4] Handke, Crossing the Sierra de Gredos: All colors seemed to be gathered here, and the objects also revealed a new color—which had existed nowhere in the world until this morning—which had never before been seen by a human eye— and for which there was also no name and never would be—and rightly so.

[5] Einstein, The Meaning of Relativity: By multiplying all the components of the first tensor by all the components of the second tensor: Contraction.

[6] Deleuze Guattari, A Thousand Plateaus: These plaques constitute traits of expression of pure speed, carried on objects that are themselves mobile and moving. The relation between them is not that of form matter but of motif support, where the earth is no longer anything more than ground (sol), where there is no longer even any ground at all because the support is as mobile as the motif.They lend colors the speed of light, turning gold to red and silver to white light.

[7] Hobbes, Leviathan: These simple Passions called Appetite, Desire, Love, Aversion, Hate, Joy, and griefe, have their names for divers considerations diversified. As first, when they one succeed another, they are diversly called from the opinion men have of the likelihood of attaining what they desire. Secondly, from the object loved or hated.Thirdly, from the consideration of many of them together.Fourthly, from the Alteration or succession it selfe. Hope   For Appetite with an opinion of attaining, is called HOPE. Despaire   The same, without such opinion, DESPAIRE.

[8] Hegel, The Science of Logic: Water, in cooling, does not become hard a bit at a time, as if it became first like a porridge and would then gradually harden to the consistency of ice, but is hard all at once; it can persist in fluid state even at freezing temperature if it stands still, but then the least disturbance brings it to the state of solid.

[9] Michelet, The History of France Vol 2: Sound and sick would dance confusedly together.

[10] Moore, Complete Poems: Then the ermine: “rather dead than spotted”; and believe it despite reason to think not, I saw a bat by daylight; hard to credit but I knew that I was right.

[11] Hobbes, Leviathan: offices [Titles] of Honour, by occasion of trouble, and for reasons of good and peacable government, were turned into meer Titles; serving for the most part, to distinguish the precedence, place, and order of subjects in the Common-wealth: and men were made Dukes, Counts, Marquises, and Barons of Places, wherein they had neither possession, nor command

[12] Christopher Wool, Apocalypse Now

[13] Hovestadt, Bühlmann, Michael, A Genius Planet

[14] Jacobs, The Death and Life of Great American Cities: Do you keep the rest of the city out of these blind eyed purlieus? How difficult and how unpalatable. Do you invite the rest of the city in? How difficult and how impossible.

[15] Borges, Collected Fictions: One of them was holding a branch (which belonged, no doubt, to the simple botany of dreams); another, with a sweeping gesture, held out a hand that was a claw; one of Janus' faces looked mistrustfully at Thoth's curved beak.

[16] Derrida, Of Grammatology: Children scream, cry, but they don't sing. 

[xunolic]

ten dates: unmatched! (l.cn)

𖥻 . . pairing: non-idol!chan x fem!reader

𖥻 . . wc: 17.9k

𖥻 . . au(s): exes to enemies not really(?) to lovers; rom-com, angst, smut

𖥻 . . summary: once you and chan broke up, you decided to be cordial enough to stay friends with him. however, you’ve finally moved on and are taking on dating again. as you beg chan for advice, you should've known he’d grow tired of it.

𖥻 . . warnings: explicit language, alcohol is mentioned a ton, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex (wrap the willy silly), chan says “pretty girl” quite a bit, he also has a pretty big gratification kink.

a/n: minors do NOT interact! also, reader is race neutral. i finally finished! this was proofread quite a bit, yet there might still be mistakes :\ feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! i hope you all enjoy! :))

date one.

it was an ordinary saturday night. people in their early 20s would be out, getting drunk with pals, clubbing with the right people, having one-night stands, yet here you were, decked out in a tight dress and uncomfortable heels in a fancy restaurant with the worst date. the man you got to know on tinder was not who he presented himself to be in real life… obviously. the man, yoon jeonghan, that was supposed to be focused on you had his intentions set on a poor waitress that was oblivious to his advances. it wasn't that he was focusing more on her, it was more so he wasn’t being interested in anything but her, a weird infatuation of sorts. he spared you a glance once or twice, his eyes widening with shock once he, what you assumed, remembered why he was at the restaurant in the first place. 

“so have you found anything you wanted yet?” he finally asked, clearing his throat, looking at you with disinterest. it irked you that someone who had invited you out had wasted your time bringing you out of the comfort of your home just to neglect you. once he spoke, you could do nothing but scoff. you stood grabbing your bag as you tucked it under your arm.

“yeah, i want to get out of here. thanks,” you walked away, your red stilettos clicking on the marbled floors. jeonghan sat there confused before standing up to walk after you. you were slightly shocked he had come after you, thinking he wanted nothing to do with you.

“hey!”

“please leave me alone, i’d like to get home n–”

“–you had a cocktail so you know…”

you let out another exasperated scoff, “fuck off.” of course he wasn't coming after you, he’d come to ask for money after that poor excuse of a date.

you stood at a nearby bus stop, tugging your phone out of your small clutch, dialing the number of someone you knew would be there for you during these types of times. it rang twice before you heard the soft voice of your ex, the sound bringing a small smile to your face. “chan.. come over, i’ll order food and whatever drinks you want, just– just come please.”

he had told you that he was hanging out with vernon and seungkwan at some run-down lounge and you opted into going to them. you toed the heels off your feet asking for the address and once he told you, you realized how close you were. you rushed to the location finding him with a hand in his pocket, his other wrapped around the phone he held to his ear. chan had persuaded you to stay on the phone with him until you made it to the lounge, which you argued against, but he didn't take no for an answer.

“i’m here,” you informed through the phone from a building across the street from the one he was standing at. he looked around before his eyes landed on you. chan could've sworn his eyes flew out of his sockets by the way he gawked at your appearance. he’d always thought you looked beautiful in red and wasn't he a smart man to think so. he let the phone drop from his ear as you ran over to him. “hi,” you muttered.

“bad date?” 

“please, don't remind me of it,” you chuckled, walking past him to walk into the lounge, smiling as you caught sight of vernon and seungkwan sitting at a table in a near corner of the place. 

“woah, i didn't know it was this type of gathering,” seungkwan laughed, standing from his seat to hug you. you hugged him back but pulled away from the hug just in time to steal his seat in the booth beside the wall. “you sly woman.”

you shrugged with a cunning smirk, waving at vernon who was in front of you before you watched chan slip into the seat next to him. seungkwan grabbed the seat beside you, waving over the waiter whose eyes lingered on you for longer than you liked. the stares he was sending soon made you uncomfortable as you shifted in your seat, catching chan’s attention. seungkwan looked toward you as if asking what you wanted, but before you could respond, chan spoke to the male. 

“she’ll get a long island iced tea, thanks,” chan said, not sparing the waiter a glance as he looked your way, noting the way you were staring down at the table. “seungkwan, give y/n your jacket.”

you looked toward chan, but his attention was focused on his drink. you felt the jacket cover your shoulders as you looked at seungkwan, saying a quick thank you before glancing back at your ex. he was talking to vernon about something that was too muffled to catch. 

if there were three things you learned while being in a relationship with lee chan was that precious things shouldn't be taken for granted, relationships aren't a fairytale, and dating would definitely not last forever no matter how great you acted in front of people. it wasn't that dating him wasn't the best time of your life, it was more like, as weird as it sounds, arguments were a common thing with you two even if you thought being with him was the best. vernon was usually an accomplice to each argument, sitting there until one of you stood up and he had to jump in to calm you both down. you never intended to argue in front of vernon, he usually came to sit in on them making sure neither of you was bold enough to break the other's neck. 

chan was a sweetheart, not only to you but to everyone around him. and that smile, dammit that smile of his could melt anyone’s heart. even when you both got out of the cookie-cutter honeymoon stage of your relationship, he still took you on dates, gave you massages, and calmed you through fears of yours, through those two years he was truly the love of your life… or so you thought.

the breakup was messy, probably the messiest you'd ever been through. miscommunication after miscommunication led to both of you lashing out for the final time. vernon wasn’t there to separate you two, he wasn't there to force both of you to come to your senses, and he wasn't there to stop chan from slamming the door of your apartment in your face as you yelled out words you didn't mean. you remember sobbing in your room, alone, with no one to contact. you wanted to call seungkwan, but since he was close friends with chan you knew he'd be there for him instead of you.

you hated lee chan at that moment, you hated the world, as dramatic as it sounded, you hated yourself. ever since that night, you grimace at the way both of you acted that night. it was never talked about again for some reason even a year later, vernon and seungkwan were nonetheless confused when they saw you hanging out with chan again, laughing and giggling together. since it was never brought up, you both spent that time working on yourselves, cliche? maybe. 

you finally decided to take on dating, not realizing how hard it was without being in high school around the boy you found attractive. it was the real world where you were forced onto dating apps to talk with random men who varied from sweet to “send nude” guys. 

as the waiter sat down your drink, you found a slip of paper underneath the drink as he gave you a wink before walking off. chan caught the wink and looked down at the table, rolling his eyes at the slip of white paper that he knew had the other guy's number. 

you picked up the slip of paper, ripping and crumpling it as you stuffed it in your bag. chan gave you an unnoticeable smirk before sipping on his drink. 

“okay so, when a guy acts like you don't exist when he’s the one who invited you out, what're you supposed to do then? he's the fucking jerk right?” you asked the group, eyes training on the second glass of liquor you had creating a water circle underneath it.

“absolutely! see, sometimes, dudes can be garbage. take him for example,” seungkwan pointed at a random man who was sleazily brushing up on a woman near the bar. “you can tell she's uncomfortable, right? but guess who doesn't take the hint? him!”

vernon nodded along with seungkwan, taking a shot of vodka, squeezing his eyes closed at the taste. all of you had a substantial amount of alcohol which left you tipsy enough to tell them almost everything that happened on the 30-minute date you went on.

“dating really does suck… i don't know if i want to go through that shit again.”

“you'll be back on one, chan, on the other hand, my guy went on one date, hated it, and never went on one again,” vernon pointed out, leaning his head back against the backrest. chan looked at his hyung, the side of his lip rising in annoyance. chan was only sipping lightly since he was kind of responsible for his friends and you. he sat and listened about how your date went, biting back words he wanted to say about the man you were out with. 

the end of the night had come around and you all left the building before you could get one last shot in you. chan had stuffed seungkwan in a cab, seungkwan blowing his hot breath on the window, drawing a heart with his fingers before the cab drove away. since you’d given seungkwan his jacket back, you sat in the chilly weather on a bus stop bench, warming yourself with your hands. 

“cold?” chan asked, sitting beside you, vernon following after. you nod, and in no time you felt the jean fabric of chan’s jacket against your shoulders. you grabbed onto it, holding it close before watching the bus pull up. chan and vernon lived three apartment buildings down from you hence why you were both taking the same bus. you stumbled your way onto the bus, absentmindedly walking right past and not paying your bus fee. you heard, “for three.” behind you as you sat in a seat, resting your head on the window. 

chan forced vernon to sit beside you as he stood beside the seat, looking at the both of you. vernon was a dazed drunk as he yawned, staring at the seat in front of him and you, you were just tired. you wanted to go home and sleep and forget about everything that happened that night. as the bus came to a stop, you handed chan his jacket back as he turned to vernon.

“walk safe, i’ll give you water when i get home,” chan said. vernon nodded, waving at you before trudging away. 

you looked at chan with a pout, “i’m fine enough to walk home myself.” you watched as he looked at his watch, shaking his head as he began walking towards your apartment building.

“it’s almost 2 am… i’m not letting you walk alone.”

you followed behind him until you reached the front of the large complex, waving chan off as he went in the opposite direction. once you finally walked inside of your apartment, you took everything off, plopping on your bed. you went to sleep but not before your phone buzzed.

it’s a match!

you woke up with a mild headache and a burning urge to go shove scorching hot coffee down your throat. as you kicked yourself up from your comforter, you looked over at your window sill, finding the cat that usually perches there fast asleep. you smiled softly walking over, looking at the orange cat rest. you sighed sitting on your knees as you looked over the cat breathing with soft purrs. you sat there for a bit, the sleeping cat relaxing you more than you thought it would. as you stood up, you heard your phone ping over and over again causing a groan of annoyance to leave your mouth. you walked to your phone, picking it up, kim mingyu. you’d found mingyu interesting at first glance: tall, a chef, an art lover, he was a dream. 

kim mingyu: hello, i saw we matched! i’d love to get to know you over dinner if you're okay with that :)

cute, you thought, texting him back. you told him you had only now just started texting him so you don't see why he'd want to meet so soon. he told you that he loves speaking to people in person more than anything, and your mind it instantly went to a murderer. you panicked a bit but as if he read your mind, he sent another message to inform you he wasn't a murderer of any sort. you laughed at yourself, telling him you'd meet up with him next friday and he quickly sent a location telling you where he’d be. once you tossed your phone down, it buzzed again.

lee chan: take medicine, drink loads of water, and rest if you need to.

you hated(no you didn't) how sickly sweet this man was. you fell back onto your bed, in hopes of a better date next week.

…

date two.

so, uh, it wasn't. 

you walked into the restaurant, hyping yourself up outside before walking in, hell you were meeting a man that seemed different from the date you had last week, you needed a new approach. once you walked in, however, the one who called your name made you internally scream.

you had taken your seat and stared at the male as he scratched his neck awkwardly. you knew him, not as kim mingyu, but as lee minki, the same guy you’d seen the night of your last bad date in the lounge. the same name you had read on the name tag as he served your drink. the same guy who wrote his name on the slip of paper he’d given you with the booze.

“so–”

“i can explain!” he yelled, slapping a hand over his mouth as he saw a few people look over to your table.

you crossed your arms over your chest, rolling your eyes, “what’s there to explain? the only confusion i have is what idiot invites someone out they’ve catfished all week?”

“i saw you! you fucking ripped my number up the night i gave it to you, and i– i heard you talk about tinder dates and i realized you’re the girl i saw on tinder for mingyu, i’m sorry but at the same time i’m not.”

“who’s mingyu?”

“i don’t know… i found him on instagram.”

“yeah, see, no. first off, minki, you stared at my breasts all night that night, secondly, you made me super uncomfortable with all the weird winks, and then you continued to give off the worst fake cockiness. i’m not gonna apologize for not being attracted to you or your actions. so, i’m gonna leave now, please unmatch me from tinder,” you stood up, sending a short wave before walking off. you only walked so far until he grabbed your wrist, squeezing it a little bit too tightly. 

“you can’t leave, i… i apologized, i said i was sorry!”

“please don’t do this minki, i need to go and you need help.”

“but–”

you didn’t let him finish as you tugged your wrist away, hurriedly rushing out. you stood at the curb, hugging yourself to warm up, looking over the many people who walked around the streets. “y/n! hey! at least…” minki ran up to you, catching his breath as he bent at the waist. once he stood upright, he looked over your face seeing your scowl. he cleared his throat, shoving his hands in his pockets, yet again masking his nervousness with fake conceitedness. “at least stay for some food, or we could go back to my place and i–”

“please, like i’d want to leave with a lying creep,” you saw your cab pull up as you bid the male goodbye, getting in the car, watching the poor guy sulk as the driver pulled away.

“he did what?” chan asked through the phone, a face mask on his face as he sipped his water.

“catfished me, that’s a first,” you responded, looking in your mirror before looking back at the phone at chan. you giggled softly at the gold sheet mask on his face, the white headband keeping his black hair out of his face. he could barely speak, wanting to keep the mask steady on his face. this was something both you and chan did regularly in your relationship, well when you weren’t arguing. you both would tuck under a blanket, cuddled up with sheet masks on as you ate pizza and watched cheesy rom-coms. 

it was simplistic, but you loved every bit of the corny romantic moments you both shared. the lingering stares, the continuous kisses, the phenomenal sex after, all of it had the specialist part of your heart taken. 

“are you laughing at me?” he asked, the sound still slightly muffled because of his mumbling.

“oh absolutely, you look funny and i’m not talking about the mask,” you laughed, applying lotion to your face as you walked into your room. “you should’ve come over, i ordered pizza. you could’ve even brought vernon.”

“what kind of pizza?”

“um.. shit… what pizza did i get?”

“dumbass.”

you laughed, sitting on the edge of your bed, tucking your feet underneath you. you sat your phone down on a pillow, watching chan rush to the bathroom to remove the mask. “so, do you want pizza or not?”

he glanced down at the phone, picking it up and showing you his renewed skin, completely ignoring you, “i look so good.”

looking over his face, you tilted your head and responded, “you look okay, i guess.”

“hey! don't forget, if you diss my looks you're the one who dated me.”

“touché.”

he smiled in the frame of the phone camera, and walked to his own room, sitting on his bed. 

“so, what about you? are you gonna try dating again?” you ask, carrying your phone to the door to grab your food. as you brought it back to your room, you made yourself comfortable again, flipping the box open.

“eh, i haven't thought about it yet. i was gonna try, but…” he trailed off, watching as you began eating. chan always thought you were cute when you concentrated on food, the way your eyes slightly crossed when you focused on your next bite of anything you had, the way your tongue darted out to clean your lips, he could smoosh your face and just adore you whenever he wanted. well, not now.

“chan.”

he blinked a few times remembering he was on facetime, “yeah?”

“you just trailed off on your sentence. what’s on your mind?”

he shook his head saying it was nothing important, laying back on his bed. you took his word for it and ate enough pizza that filled your need. you and chan talked and talked until you felt tired. neither of you hung up the phone, both growing irritable and tired. chan however kept his eyes on you, adoring the way you laid with your eyes closed and your breaths coming out as gently as they came in. chan was about to hang up so you could sleep peacefully but you ended up speaking.

“what should i do, chan? i thought i was doing the right thing by going on dates like this, but… i keep making mistakes.”

“it's not your fault y/n, it–”

“we even broke up because of me. i keep fucking up,” never once did you open your eyes to look at your ex, but if you did, you'd notice the pained frown on his face. chan never once blamed you for the breakup, even when you two weren't friends. he could easily sympathize with you, knowing how much he blamed himself for the predestined circumstances between you two. the sound of your voice, blaming and putting yourself down hurt chan more than he’d admit. since you were in a slight state of delirium because of your sleepy condition, he cut you off telling you to go on to sleep.

you nodded, saying a small goodnight leaving chan to hang up the phone, losing himself in his own feelings.

date three.

you had no idea why you were there. you tried to understand but it just hindered you.

turns out this new date knew the actual kim mingyu and kim mingyu was a taken man, but why were you here with the two of them? you stood in between the two, staring at the painting in front of you. they were both in the midst of a conversation, the date seeming like it was between them if mingyu wasn't already in a relationship.

“what do you think, y/n?” minghao invited, finally giving you some attention. you weren't really paying attention to either of them as you tried to figure the painting out yourself. you loved art, don't get it twisted, but what the living fuck were you looking at? the paint surely was painted on the canvas, but what were you to make of it.

“i um... i–”

“trees, swaying, almost dancing if you would,” your eyes shot to mingyu’s tall frame, nodding in agreement.

“no, yeah. i was about to say the same thing,” you responded, pointing at the picture in front of you. you crossed your arms in front of you with a secure nod, the two men looking at each other stifling giggles.

“cute,” minghao said before walking to the next painting with mingyu. you got flustered at the sudden compliment, following behind their long strides. you looked over their shoulders, staring at the even more confusing painting, you realized how long this date would be.

once you left the art museum, minghao took you to a nice cafe… but mingyu came along. you were shocked at how hooked to the hip best friends could be, especially to bring the other on a date. 

“oh, and what about the time we went to pottery class and your ass kept messing up the teacher’s vases,” minghao laughed, looking at mingyu. mingyu laughed along, slapping his friend's arm. you sat in front of them sipping lightly on your iced coffee, picking at the cake minghao had gotten you. watching them laugh at things you were clueless about made the date quite frustrating. you tried to laugh along, but you soon realized that they were talking about past dates minghao has gone on. mingyu was with minghao every single time he went on a date. your eyes shot from each of them, slipping another bite of the cake into your mouth. they continued to talk between the two of them until you cleared your throat to make your appearance known. their heads flew to you, not at all annoyed, just questioning what you needed. 

“hey, i think i’m gonna slip out. i’ll take the coffee and cake with me though,” you smiled at the both of them, closing the container for the cake. minghao was quick to stand, offering to walk you out, but you declined. he was sweet, really sweet, but you could tell his best friend was his top priority. you gave him your number, offering a friendship instead of a relationship, telling him that he’ll find someone willing to go on dates with him and mingyu. he laughed softly, nodding as he watched you walk out.

as you were nearing your place, you left the bus with a stretch. although you didn't have a bad time per se, you didn't want to be alone after. you called up chan, questioning his whereabouts and once he told you he was stuck at home, you took that as an invite to go over to the apartment. you walked into their building, a familiar face spotting yours as quickly as you did hers.

“oh, y/n! hello.”

“ah, miss choi, hello! how are you?” you asked, smiling as you walked to the nearby elevator. miss choi was a nice woman, she loved to greet anyone who was near her door, especially if she had brought in her dog. she had grown a liking to you and you knew she was patiently waiting for you and chan to break up. not because she didn't like chan, she adored the kid, but she had a son that needed a woman. 

she told you once when you went over for tea that she had a son, but you were with chan and you instantly shot her down. she didn't take it to heart, seeing how happy you seemed and how comfortable you were with your relationship, but when she saw chan crying the day of your breakup she thought maybe there was a chance. although she cared for chan and his feelings, she was a mother first. she wanted to see her son with a good woman like you.

“i’m good, i’m doing great. are you and chan back together?” she asked, not giving you a second to digest how she was doing. you chuckled a bit awkwardly, shaking your head.

“no, we aren't.”

“oh, you know, my son is still available.”

“now, miss choi, you know i can’t go on a date with him if he doesn’t want to, right?” you pressed the up button for the elevator, feeling slightly relieved when no one was on it.

“but!”

“i’m sorry, i have to go. have a great day.” once you stepped in the elevator, you took a deep breath, scratching your head in frustration. as you got to the respective floor, you made your way down the hall, knocking softly at the apartment door. chan opened the door, the wafting smell of burnt food coming out.

“what the fuck did you burn?” you took your shoes off as fast as you could, pushing past him, as you rushed over to the kitchen. there vernon was, splashing water into the pan, as calm as he could be. your eyes were wide as you sat the iced coffee down and walked to the older man, grabbing the pan from the still-hot stove eye. you held the pan away from you as you turned the heat off of the stove, tossing the pan in the sink you sat your empty hand on the counter looking at him.

“i... i was making sauce for hot wings,” vernon told you, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“you took the hot part a little too literally, i fear. i have cake.”

“you went to a cafe without us?” chan asked, making his way into the kitchen, looking at you with a pout.

“i was on a date…” you walked past the two of them, sitting on the couch, still holding out the box for one of them to take. vernon was quick, snatching it from you as he took a seat in one of the side chairs. chan sat beside you, looking at you.

“how was it?” chan asked, leaning back into the couch.

“i mean, it was okay. it would've been better if he didn't bring his best friend and talked to him the whole time.”

vernon laughed awfully loud, beginning to dive into the cake, “his best friend? wow.”

you shrugged, looking at chan who was already looking in your direction, “i’m really not good at this, am i?”

“it isn't your fault,” he said, patting your head softly. the small show of affection made you want to fall for this man all over again. you mentally slapped yourself as you masked any sort of reaction with a pout. 

“you keep saying that, but i’m the one who keeps choosing to go on dates with them.”

“everyone deserves to go out, you just haven't found the right person to do that yet…” vernon nodded to chan’s words, tossing the empty box on the coffee table. you thought that you had what you needed in the beginning, but at the same time, your thoughts weren't reality. you just sighed, making yourself comfortable on the couch.

“miss choi talked about her son again.”

“of course she did,” chan laughed, running a hand through his hair. “she doesn't ask anyone but you.”

“i’ve never seen the guy, so i’d rather not.”

“chan, don't forget,” vernon said, showing his phone to the younger one. chan’s eyes widened before he got up to rush to his room. you looked at vernon, your eyebrows raised at the sudden outburst. vernon noticed your confusion, “he has a date.”

why did that sentence make you feel weird? you knew it shouldn't because of the dates you've been on, but something about it worked your nerves. “oh~ that's good he’s getting back out there.”

“you're jealous,” vernon deadpanned. you gawked, shaking your head.

“no, i am not!”

“you are and it's okay.”

“hansol, i am not jealous.”

it was vernon’s turn to gawk at you. the use of his first name caught him off guard, “fine, you aren't jealous, but… are you leaving or staying?”

“why? you want me to leave?” you asked, kicking your feet up on the couch, leaning on the armrest to face him.

“no, i’m asking because seungkwan is coming over and you know how you two get.”

“what!? what do you mean?”

“loud.”

“fuck you vern.”

he shrugged as chan rushed from his room with a bottle of cologne. he sprayed himself multiple times, tossing the bottle on the couch as he took his keys from the counter, “don't wait up!” he yelled before running out the door. as you watched him leave, you continued to look at the door, that was until seungkwan barged in.

“who’s ready to party?” he asked, grinning.

you weren't sure how you ended up in vernon’s bed, but once you realized it, you were too tired to move from the spot. your head was aching and you looked at both seungkwan and vernon who were on the floor and at the foot of the bed asleep. you let out a groggy sound, turning over to look at your phone, groaning once you saw the time. it was around 9 am and you needed to eat before you took something for the major headache you had. 

as you moved out of the bed, you walked out rubbing your head, one eye closed shut, and for some reason your mind in a haze. you decided to walk over to chan’s room to see if he was awake. you wanted to ask him if he wanted any breakfast already knowing seungkwan and vernon would need it once they woke up, but you came to stop when all you saw was him laid up, asleep with a girl by his side. you felt sick. you didn't know if it was the hangover or that jealousy thing vernon was talking about, but you made a b-line to the bathroom. you shut the door, rushing to your knees beside the toilet. 

you didn't realize you were crying until you stood up to look at yourself in the mirror after puking out any and everything from the previous night. your lip gloss was long gone from your lips, your hair slightly messed up from whatever style you put it in prior, and now your eyes were trickling unnecessary tears. all you could do was faintly laugh at your appearance.

“stop crying, fucking wimp,” you told yourself, wiping your eyes away from the tears, but it didn't seem like it was working. you looked in the small cabinet, finding the facial wash vernon has been talking you into using on the first shelf. you took it, applying a bit to your hands before scrubbing your face clean of whatever makeup was left. once you dried your face off, you looked at yourself once more, deciding to make an excuse for the red eyes as you walked out. “cooking, that’ll do me well.”

you went to the kitchen, opened the fridge, pulling out whatever they had that you could at least try to cook. as you were fixing the food, you heard footsteps behind you and the sound of vernon’s voice. “what's that smell?” “it's the smell of food vernon.”

“good morning, my sweet hungover friends. i made food,” you plated everything, turning around to find vernon and seungkwan as messed up as you. you smiled at them, sliding the plates over to them on the island. as you grabbed your plate and leaned up on the counter to start eating, you watched as chan came from his room to stand behind the two of them, shirtless and wearing glasses. 

“you made breakfast?” he asked with a smile, walking to look at the food. you nodded in response, staring down at your plate. vernon looked at you for an extensive amount of time, looking at every part of your face, almost analyzing it.

“your eyes are red. you okay?” he asked, causing seungkwan to look up as well. seungkwan’s face contorted in worry, but you were quick to calm them. you looked at the two of them, shaking your head with a smile.

“i woke up pretty sick, maybe it's from that.” the both of them looked at each other before looking back at you, deciding to take your word on it. you heard another pair of footsteps and a soft girlish voice talking, causing seungkwan and vernon to shoot a look behind them. you kept your eyes on the now empty plate as you picked at little crumbs that were left there. 

“oh? morning,” you heard seungkwan say to the mystery girl. once you looked up, you caught sight of a brunette petite girl, a short dress hanging sloppily from her body.

chan slightly tensed when his friend talked to the girl. he shifted from behind you, walking over to the door with his arm wrapped around the girl’s waist. there the feeling was again, you wanted to release your guts into the toilet yet again. you stood upright and saw chan come back to the kitchen. you walked over to the sink, washing your plate off before turning back around.

“i’ll see you guys later, i um... i gotta run errands. yeah.. that's what i have to do. bye,” you went over to the living room, grabbing your jacket and bag, you slipped your shoes on before rushing out of the apartment. all of the boys looked at each other in confusion at your sudden departure.

“who was that?” vernon asked chan, the fork plopping onto his plate.

“oh, um, someone,” chan said, beginning to eat. neither of the boys was buying it and chan knew, so he gave up. “it was just a one-night stand… just for fun, you know?”

seungkwan rolled his eyes at his friend, “idiot.”

date four.

maybe you shouldn't have been so harsh for the first few dates, because this one was atrocious. teenage boys surrounded you and other onlooking single men sat all around you. maybe they had girlfriends but you weren't sure by how they were screaming and yelling… over a video game they weren't even playing.

if you knew that your next date would have been at a competitive overwatch tournament, you wouldn't have shown up. you looked around, the only thing getting you through was the beer that sat beside you. you were all about showing your date what you're interested in, but this–

“come on! that’s so unfair,” your date, wonwoo, said, barely audible.

–this was too much. you could have even dealt with going to a pc cafe. you went with chan and vernon quite a bit when you were in a relationship, and they were pretty enjoyable, but something about watching others play games and having others scream over them instead of the actual players felt weird. again, you didn't mind it (yes you did), it was like a concert of some sort, but dammit, you wanted to leave. 

you remembered when wonwoo had told you he was really excited to get to know you, but the man was shy. like extremely shy. you offered to go get burgers after this event, but he said nothing. he nodded. that's it. you sat there and chugged the beer, sitting the cup aside, enduring more screams from many of the men.

once it ended, you left with wonwoo on your side, “so... burgers?”

wonwoo looked at you, pushed his glasses up, and walked away. you stood there in pure shock.

“where the fuck are you– hey! you're my ride!” you exclaimed, trying to follow him, but he only sped up. you groaned, not wanting to follow him any further as you watched him turn a corner leaving your sight. so much for this date.

once you turned your head you found yourself in the proximity of an actual burger restaurant; you were shocked at how ironic it was and said a soft, “huh” in disbelief. once you walked in you spotted chan’s date from the night you stayed over, your eyes squeezing shut hoping she was just a hallucination. when you opened your eyes and she wasn't gone, you just hoped she didn't see you once you took your seat, but it just so happened she was your waitress. you were hoping she didn't recognize you since you had your head down for your very brief encounter, but your fears came to reality.

“welcome to– oh– hey, you're chan’s friend.”

you looked up at her, putting on your best fake smile, “ah, yeah i am.”

“we didn't get to meet properly, i’m jiwoo. nice to meet you.”

“nice to meet you as well… i’m y/n.”

“so~ what would you like to eat today?”

she was so pretty, you couldn't blame chan for moving on to her. you wouldn't say it was an upgrade, you weren’t sure about bringing yourself down in this sort of situation, but she was beautiful. you didn't get a chance to look at the menu because of your excessive staring. you shook yourself out of whatever trance she had you in to tell her that whatever she likes, you were sure to like as well. how caustic. 

once she came back with your drink, she gave you a smile and walked off. you really couldn't dislike her, she just… seemed way too sweet. you never did like it when waiters sat down with you when you ate, but talking to her seemed really easy. it seemed like a date with her rather than the date you had just been on. she made you laugh, she even took your word when you said that you came here alone just to come you know, alone.

“so, tell me. chan seems like such a sweet guy. do you– do you think you could give me pointers. you've obviously known him longer than me,” she said, catching you off guard. again, the irony of the said man’s ex helping out a woman who was widely interested in him. you nodded your head, agreeing that you did know him, inside and out; you didn't say that, but you were surely thinking it.

“i mean, i think chan just likes someone who is solely them. he’s a really loving guy, affectionate, and truly adores who he’s with. as long as you treat him right, he’ll treat you right.”

she nodded along, looking down at the plate of food you had, “you're really sweet y/n… i hope you find someone who matches you. not like the guy who ran from you.” you looked at her in shock, watching her stand up. “i was serving on the patio, and i saw the guy walk away, even though i didn't get a clear view of you, i knew it was you when you came in right after the incident.”

you nodded, your eyes still widened as you pulled your card out to pay. she just shook her head, saying the meal was on her since you helped her out. you smiled, saying thank you before walking out.

you were really in some deep shit.

date five… and six?

now you realized why people didn't go out on dates with miss choi’s son. he wasn't ugly, frankly, he was hot as fuck, but the problem was… he didn't know how to plan a damn date (but honestly who did at this point). here you were sitting behind a guy you also knew since you matched with him on tinder as well, jihoon. why was he there? well, you were sat on a couch… in jihoon’s studio… listening to seungcheol rap. 

seungcheol was honestly paying most of the date money for the session, and the lyrics to his song were very–how would you describe this–pathetic. you wondered why he brought you there but discovered his mother had told him all about you and how you didn't want to go on a date with him; his lyrics really broadcasted how he felt about you and the choices you had made regarding him. you would've been mad at his attempts to diss you, but the beat jihoon had produced was all too good. 

jihoon sat in his wheeled desk chair with his jaw dropped at the way seungcheol was lashing out at the mic. it was embarrassing for him, especially since you were sitting right there, listening to every single word that was spewing out of his mouth like venom. you knew you weren't getting dinner out of this, so you quietly stood up, but not quiet enough.

jihoon turned to look at you, his eyebrows raising, “you're leaving?”

“oh, yeah. i mean… i don't think i’m actually gonna be able to talk to him after this, so yeah,” you answered, picking up your belongings. he was quick to talk you into staying, saying he would buy you food if you did stay. he told you that seungcheol is sometimes very temper influenced so he didn't want you to mind him.

once finished, seungcheol listened to the song, nodding to the beat. you listened along, your arms crossed over your chest, your teeth clenching once seungcheol looked at you with a satisfied smirk.

jihoon paused the track, looking over at his friend, “all this… and i mean all of this–” jihoon paused his sentence to express what he was saying with his hands motioning all over the place before refocusing on what he was saying, “because y/n didn't want to go on a little date with you?” seungcheol merely nodded, looking at the younger with his lips pressed together in a meek smile. he was a cocky little shit, it pissed you off.

jihoon sighed looking at you apologetically. you shrugged, looking over at the black-haired male, his body crouched as his hands crossed in front of him. he and jihoon continued to consult about the direction of the song until seungcheol had to go. you didn't let him leave without telling him to unmatch with you on tinder, a scowl falling on his face.

“i’m so sorry about him,” jihoon said, grabbing his phone as he turned his cap backward so he could rub his face.

“you shouldn't be the one to apologize. he should, but you and i both know he won't.” jihoon nodded, sighing softly. jihoon ordered you two late-night foods, engaging you in one of the best conversations you've had on a date. the guy was passionate about his career and you really loved an ambitious man, the only thing wrong was that neither of you felt anything more. you both talked until you needed to get home, and after thanking jihoon and giving him your number, you left with a smile on your face.

chan knew something about you, you were headstrong, stubborn he might say. so when you came to his door, pounding on it like a madwoman he knew exactly what it was for: another bad date that you refused to not go on. you stood there, soju in hand and chicken in the other. chan gladly let you in, not because of the food and drinks (although it was a plus), he didn't want to see you upset. 

you looked over at chan, mouth stuffed with food, a small smile on your face. this was the first time you’d talked to chan after the whole four days of not talking to him. to you, that felt like an eternity. you felt as if you were being a bit petty to him by leaving him hanging for something so small, but the shock was evident the day of. 

“so, how’s it been with jiwoo,” you asked almost absentmindedly, looking back down as your toothpick dug into another piece of the boneless piece of chicken. you didn't notice the frown that fell over chan’s face once you brought up the girl’s name, but he quickly changed it once you looked back up at him.

“oh, yeah, i don't know. i don't think it's gonna work out between us, she’s cool, not for me though.”

you looked at him with wide eyes, your brow shortly after, furrowing in confusion. you remembered the talk you had with jiwoo about chan and believed the advice you gave her was a prompt way to understand chan a bit more, but unbeknownst to you, chan had already turned down any idea of them dating… the first date. “what? what happened to ‘getting back out there’?”

“well, i am, but for her, i only said i was going on a date, that's it,” chan crossed his legs, wiping his face off. “plus, what an odd topic of conversation after not talking to me for almost five days.”

“it was four, asshole.”

“four, five, same difference. anyways, who's next on the to date list?”

“some guy named, junhui. he really seems cool.”

“you said that about the last thirty dates didn't you?” he teased, finishing off the last bit of chicken you both had. you scowled at him, throwing your toothpick his way. he dodged it, tossing a dirty napkin at you, making you throw up your fist in retaliation. “whoa whoa killer, calm down now.” you slowly dropped your fist, the scowl not leaving your face. “good girl,” chan said, not noticing how those two words made your tipsy mind go for a nice turmoil. 

you’d always had that little praise kink, and since you had a few shots of the peach-flavored soju, you couldn't help but clear your throat to hide the growing arousal in your pants.

“anyways, you gonna tell me about the date you went on yesterday or what?”

“fuck miss choi’s son, that backstabbing old lady. remind me to only speak to her husband from now on,” you shifted in your seat, rolling your eyes.

“uh-oh, what happened?” he asked, leaning over to grab the shot of soju he’d left for himself.

“that sick, good-looking dude took me on a studio date. the only problem was, the whole song was about me! the song was good and that's why i hate him even more! he’s so damn pathetic. i would never, and i mean never, date someone whose tinder bio is ‘music artist’ again. i just, i mean, what the fuck, you know? and you know what else, that loser is so cocky i couldn't even understand it. it really did stress me out chan, like…”

chan sat and listened to every word you said. he took a mental note to ignore miss choi as well, just for the time being. chan got annoyed by the sounds of the guy, but once he saw you perk up about the second half, his demeanor faltered, smiling at your giddiness. he did feel that pang of jealousy come back over him, yet decided to ignore it(especially after you told him you felt nothing more for the guy) opting to continue smiling at the soft laughs you let out. the conversation continued until your phone buzzed, a signal for you to leave. once you left, chan was left alone, the jealousy becoming a bigger pain than he thought. 

every date was getting more and more intolerable for him. he would never admit it to you. chan was never a confrontational guy. back in your relationship, yes there were arguments, but were they from his own insecurities? nope. he kept most of his jealousy down and didn't want it to come in between the two of you. unlike you, chan was a closed book, only opened on some marked, annotated pages. he remembered the day back in high school when he had asked you to date him, it wasn't even his idea to ask you out as quickly as he did. 

all of the seniors had their noses in books, and for some reason, chan’s nose was buried on wiki-how. he searched and searched for how to ask out a girl in five simple steps, but didn't follow a single step. seungkwan had pushed the younger to ask you out, wishing he’d do it quickly because he couldn't take the longing stares your way and the constant napkins they'd bring for him because of his drool puddles. once he did ask you out, you were more than ready to be in a relationship with him. 

that was another thing you thought you got wrong in the relationship, not going slow. rushing into something as big as being in a relationship with your long-term high school crush was something you could never get again. it did way more harm than it did good, no matter how you two looked at it. now you two were stuck in this non-communicating friendship. you both deserved better, even if that better wasn't coming from each other. 

date seven (not really).

there was something therapeutic about these types of days: cooped up in your apartment… your ex-boyfriend sitting beside you as you wallow in sorrow from yet another failed date. usually, women sat with friends, cups of wine, tubs of unearthed freezer-burned ice cream with a spoon deep in it as they clawed at the remains of the sweet treat, but here you were, your only actual friend being your ex as you complained to him yet again.

“i just don't get it, you know?” it wasn't that you were sad, it was more so you were actually looking forward to this date (nothing new), this junhui guy seemed like so much fun; that was until he pulled up to an advanced martial arts center. you watched from outside, looking at the many many people getting slammed to the ground, and decided on a firm no. you told him a nice ‘thank you’ before leaving and unmatching the profile from your tinder. you didn't hear him out, you couldn't. the way he already looked like he would use one of those moves on you even if you were in the car frightened you. he was a peculiar man.

chan nodded, his feet kicking up on the top of your coffee table as he snuck another drink of your beer. he shrugged, looking towards you as he stretched his arms forward, keeping the beer in hand. “where do you even find these men at? like it's making me feel bad now.” he tilted the nose of the beer bottle towards you.

“you didn't feel bad before?” you stole your beverage out of his hand, head tilting in confusion. as you swigged the beer you missed the way he chuckled softly at your bafflement. as you set the bottle down, you almost gagged at the taste. “how could you drink that? it's flat.”

chan grinned and got up from his seat, swinging his legs off the table, his socks sild over the hardwood towards the kitchen to grab another beer: one for you and one for him. as he came back, you took one from him, hitting the top on the side of your coffee table to get the cap off. 

“to answer your question, it's not like i didn't feel bad, it's more like i already knew. you're never gonna find better than me,” he joked, hopping on the couch.

“shut up chan. i’m being serious,” you drew your fist back, a laugh coming from his mouth, getting comfortable once more beside you.

“my bad. i’m just kidding!”

“so, what about you? have you figured out your situationship with jiwoo?”

chan shook his head, leaning his head back on the armrest to look up at the ceiling, “don't ask me about that.”

“what? why?” you shoved his legs off the couch and turned your body towards him with a small frown. 

he tipped his head to look at you, sighing, “what's your infatuation with her? you wanna date her now or what?”

“i mean she is a sweet girl, i just want someone good for you…”

“well, i’m glad you're so concerned but stop asking me ab–” chan stopped his sentence midway, pulling out his buzzing phone, his eyes widened before he jolted up. “sorry, i gotta go. i forgot i had something to do for the rest of the night. i’ll see you later, okay? call me if you need me.”

“where are you going?” you asked as he slipped his jacket up over his shoulders.

“to bang bitches and get high.”

“lee chan!”

he walked to the door with a large grin, “i’m joking, maybe... okay bye!” before you could ask anything further, chan ran out, nearly breaking your door from how hard he slammed it. you jumped at the sound of the door, looking towards the front as chan came back in to say a quick ‘sorry’ before closing it again softer this time. once chan left the threshold of your apartment, you let out a groan.

“‘i just want someone good for you’? what the fuck?” you slammed your head gently on the closed door, bending down to a squat. “are you a fool?”

you groaned to yourself, not wanting to ponder any longer on the situation, but it did keep you up for a bit.

date eight.

you could've sworn you were done with this whole online dating thing. you've been on seven unsuccessful dates and had fallen into the idea that dating just wasn't your thing, but dammit you were desperate for some sort of affection–

“fuck, you feel so good.”

–maybe not as desperate as this.

the date had gone okay. he took you to a nice petting zoo sort of thing, you rode trains together, fed animals, and he was such a pleasant guy to be around. by the end of the afternoon date, he took you to a pretty little restaurant that wasn’t too packed. you got to know a lot about him and he knew how to hold a basic conversation, but goodness did he talk a lot. it wasn't bad, but it wasn't the best when it was a two-person date. you gave him the basics, name and age because that was all you could get out. 

by the end of the night, he asked you to go back with him to his place which you thought he was a good enough guy to go with. now you regret it. he hyped himself up in the car, telling you how good his dick was and how he could make you dumb with just his good skills; that itself was a red flag. here you were, laid up in this man’s bed with everything on except your pants and panties. 

at this point, you were fucking him by how loud his groans were and how quiet you were. you laid on your back, looking up at the ceiling, rolling your eyes at his attempts at dirty talk. you didn't want to crush the poor soul's heart, but he was doing a terrible job at living up to expectations. his eyes were shut, sweat dripping from his forehead as you let out the best fake moans you could. 

wanting to get this over with, you clenched around him causing him to shudder in pleasure. he halted his movements, coming in the condom as he rubbed your pussy lips, possibly thinking it was your clit, but your sweet clit was hiding from the man. you winced at the feeling, continuing your manufactured moan performance.

“i’m gonna come,” you tried to make it as believable as you could, the sarcasm not getting to the man's head as he smirked cockily.

“come for me.”

you’d never had to fake an orgasm before yet somehow you were a natural at it under pressure. once he pulled out, he lay on the bed, knocked out instantly. yep, you definitely fucked him. you muttered under your breath, kicking your legs off the side of the bed as you looked around the room. you found a desk that had tons of supplies on it, standing to your feet as you walked over to it. you slipped on your panties and jeans, grabbing a slip of paper and a pen. you looked at the man who was fast asleep, writing something along the lines of ‘good date, bad sense of reality soonyoungie…’. you left the slip of paper with a small smiley face hoping there were no hard feelings as you slipped out. 

you were left unsatisfied. you were thinking of running to chan’s and saying ‘fuck the breakup, i need you to rearrange my insides the best you can…’ but you pussed out. if the two of you were going to move on peacefully, hookups with one another shouldn't even be in discussion in your brain. 

you made it back to your apartment safely, throwing down your bag in frustration, and took off the clothes you had just been in. you laid in bed, panties and bra clung to you as you tried to think of the most pornographic scenes, but none of it seemed to work. your mind kept drifting to your ex, no matter how much you tried to redirect your thinking. you groaned, pulling out your phone as you pulled up undeleted videos you had kept of the said man; why did you have them? you couldn't even answer that for yourself. most videos chan used to send you consisted of dirty talk… pure filth. 

the video you pulled up was a black screen, soft sounds coming from it, presumably from him stroking his own cock. he let out a hushed chuckle, “why’d you have to leave so damn soon, hm? you went to your hometown… and now i’m stuck here, fucking my hand to the thought of you. i hate you, you know that?”

you don't even think you were paying attention to any of the words he was actually saying, your fingers grasping the hem of your panties, dragging them down to your ankles. you kicked them on the floor somewhere as you rubbed the tips of your soft fingers on your slit. for the past year, you had to satisfy yourself. for the past year, you had to settle for fingers that weren't anyone else’s. for the past year, no matter how much you were trying to move on, the lust you had for chan took over.

you were so lost in the sound of chan’s moans and your whimpers that you didn't realize how close you were from rubbing your clit. it was impressive how chan could make you come quickly even if he wasn't there with you. 

once you came down from your high, you stared at your dark ceiling, with no sound but the cars outside and your soft pants. what were you doing and what the hell was wrong with you?

date nine.

you shouldn't have blown off jun that time. you shouldn't have. this was way worse than being body slammed into a cushioned floor. you never thought you were that out of shape, but dammit, this joshua guy really did bring you to the light. you normally loved hiking… when you could keep up. the man took the longest strides and never waited for you to catch up. 

to be frank, you don't even think he looked at you much; it was weirdly familiar, deja vu-ish really. thankfully, you both made it to the halfway point. you plopped on a bench, chugging the rest of your water, looking over at your date. there he stood, back muscles protruding out of his black t-shirt as he pressed the pad of the vending machine. you probably missed your mouth with the water a couple of times, too focused on his back that you've gotten used to since that's basically all you've seen since being on the date.

when he turned around from getting his drink, his focus wasn't on you. man, this guy was a keeper; staring at every girl that passed by his view, smirking at anyone who made eye contact with him, what a good guy.

as he made eye contact with you, you could see a small frown return on his face. you crossed your arms, your personality refusing for you to brush it off. you stood from the bench walking over to the jerk of a man, standing in front of his built figure.

“what's up with you? you must be a great guy to get to know, hm?” you fumed, his attention now on you, but not the way you intended when you had come on this date. 

“don't think i don't know about you,” he said, sipping his sports drink, a bit of it dripping from his mouth as he walked away from you. you tried for it not to distract you as the anger disappears for a bit once you comprehend what he just said to you.

“huh? what are you talking about?” you walked over to him, you caught a glimpse of his phone as he tugged it out of his pocket. you were close enough to him to see two familiar faces. “holy shit…”

joshua didn't know you had seen his wallpaper, but the words from before struck a nerve now that you knew what he was talking about.

“you absolute piece of shit. just like your garbage friends,” you indicated. joshua looked at you, his eyes narrowed as if examining you. he chuckled, leaning up on the railing that overlooked the view. he took another sip from the bottle, completely ridiculing you. “men.”

you started your way back down the trail, joshua yelling to you that he was your ride and you had no way home other than through him. he continued to yell at you, trying his hardest to keep you on that revenge date. you didn't bother turning around to face him as you flipped him off over your shoulder. you now realized why you felt deja vu, you knew why all of that felt way too familiar.

he was friends with both yoon jeonghan and choi seungcheol.

oh, how it made perfect sense.

once you got home, you texted chan(of course) asking him to come over, yet again to take your mind off of things. chan looked at your message, texting you saying he’d be right over as he stood from his seat. vernon and seungkwan looked at their younger friend, both of them looking at each other and then back to him.

“and where do you think you're going, young man?” seungkwan asked, grabbing another handful of chips. chan put a finger over his lips, walked to his room, and grabbed his jacket that lay in the middle of his bed. when he made his way back into the living room, seungkwan spoke again.

“i thought you said you were done with jiwoo. i hope you're not going to play with that poor girl's heart anymore.”

“i was never playing with it from the get-go. i told her that what we had was a one-time thing, so don't make me out to be a bad guy,” chan said, texting you again to let you know he was on his way.

“so… where are you going then, big boy?” vernon asked, slapping seungkwan’s hand away from the folded chip. seungkwan looked at him, disgusted as he grabbed a different chip.

“to y/n’s,” your name barely left his lips, yet the two on the couch let out obnoxious groans. “oh?”

“i told you he was a masochist,” vernon mumbled to seungkwan. seungkwan hit vernon’s shoulder, looking over at chan. seungkwan tried his hardest to put on a fake smile, failing awfully at it.

“chan… why do you… you know… why do you keep doing this to yourself?” seungkwan asked, his hands crossing in his lap. 

“what are you talking about?” chan asked. it was apparent what seungkwan was getting at. it was obvious as daylight, the only ones seeing darkness being you and chan; though chan saw a bit more light than you did.

“you know exactly what he's talking about. stop denying you're still in love wi– ow!” seungkwan pinched vernon’s arm before he could finish speaking. chan’s eyebrow rose before piecing together the situation. he let out a laugh, crossing his arms over his chest. the two on the couch looked at the younger with confusion. “what's so funny?”

“nothing,” chan was still smiling, “look, it's just me going over to comfort a friend. it's nothing bigger than that.”

“yeah, but look chan, we just… we don't want you getting hurt. we like y/n too but you know what the breakup did to you, and vernon’s told me how you've been seeing her so often,” seungkwan spoke slowly, almost as if he was taking care of a balloon that could burst at any point. seungkwan stood up from where he was sitting, walking over to chan. chan’s smile left his face slowly.

“i don't know what you're getting at. look, she decided that we should move on and just stay friends. she doesn't want to talk about the breakup, she just wants a simple move on, you know?” 

“okay, great, but is that what you want?” vernon asked, leaning further into the couch, the chip bowl now in his possession since seungkwan got up.

chan did take note of how many times he said “she” instead of “we”. it didn't make his point any more convincing than he wanted to make it. seungkwan wrapped his arm around the younger one. chan chuckled a dismal chuckle at himself, if he were his own friend, he’d also think he was pitiful. it took a while–almost a month and a half–for him to come to his senses. 

“chan?” seungkwan questioned gently.

chan rubbed his face, his friends' words dawning fully on him, “i’m a fucking idiot… aren't i?” he turned to seungkwan.

seungkwan saw the sadness in the younger’s eyes as he shook his head and brought chan to the couch to sit, “not an idiot, just a man in love with someone who can't seem to comprehend that or his feelings correctly.”

“so basically an idi– stop hitting me!” 

you sat there. when ten minutes passed, you thought nothing of it. when thirty minutes passed, you grew worried. when three hours passed, your mind instantly went to the worst. chan was a ten-minute walk away from your place and one thing about lee chan was that he was punctual. you brought your phone up to your face, texting him again. it took a while but you saw he had read it. the three bubbles popped up, your hope still hanging by a thread. you gleamed, as the bubbles kept going, and going, and going… until they disappeared and you were left with “read”. 

you stared at it. you stared at it for a really long time. you brushed your teeth and stared. you ate leftovers and stared at it. you sat in your bed and stared at it. in your dreams you could've sworn you saw it.

he left you on read. what did you do? is he doing this to make you go crazy? he said he was on his way. did he get kidnapped? nah, chan talks a lot, they'd let him go the minute they got him. maybe an old lady gave him an apple, now he's poisoned! ah, y/n you're an idiot. you were so lost in your thoughts, that the only thing that got you out of them was the smell of burnt toast from the toaster. you groaned to yourself, juggling the piece of toast between both hands until it fell in the trash. 

you walked back to your room, looking to find the cat still on your window sill. you can only imagine he was there from last night. you sat with your legs crossed in front of your window, sighing softly, “what do you think tabby cat? what could me being left on read mean?” the cat responded with nothing, as expected. you slapped your head, shaking it in disbelief. “i’ve gone mad? over being left on read… hah…”

date ten.

“so how was it?” seokmin asked you, giving you the other half of his burger. you smiled at him, sitting your pasta in between the two of you as you nod at him.

“it was really good! i’ve always been a sucker for things like plays,” you admit, twirling your fork in the noodles. seokmin grinned, taking a bite of the burger. he covered his mouth before responding to you.

“i was a theater kid back in my high school days. well, i still am.”

“oh really? is theater your major?” you asked, slurping up the last noodle from your fork. he shook his head, wiping his mouth.

“i already work in musical theater. i started right when i got out of high school. wanna hear something?”

“you mean–”

“me singing right now? yes.”

he gave you no time to respond as he burst out into song. your eyes widened as he stood from his seat, acting out movements as well. you were embarrassed, but he was a phenomenal singer. the whole restaurant had their eyes on him. his voice boomed to where even some non-patrons stood from outside the door to look in. you couldn't believe that your date had turned into dinner and a show but why were you surprised at this point. 

seokmin, however, had been the best date you'd been on in the past month(not saying much).  he was sweet, he knew how to let you speak, and you were even sharing the food you both got. this little outburst in a random musical song really couldn’t ruin how you looked at him, despite being very embarrassed. as he finished the song, the whole restaurant clapped, the people outside clapped, and you clapped; he was amazing, but you really needed to know his mbti.

he sat back down in front of you, the same beaming smile on his face.

“what was that?” you asked him. you ate your half of the burger, looking at him in astonishment. 

“oh, that? just a musical i’m leading in. you should come to see it when it comes out!” he exclaimed. he picked at the pasta, eating some of it as he waited for you to respond in anticipation.

“sounds fun, what's the musical called?”

“xcalibur. i’m playing king arthur.”

“that's awesome, although i don't know the roles. a king sounds great, also seokmin, i have a quick question.”

“yeah, what's up?”

“what's your mbti?”

“infp? he's an introvert? there’s no way…” you shook your head, sat down your things, and walked into your room. with a soft grunt, you laid back on your bed. you pulled your phone out, looking back over the text message you'd sent to chan last week. it still says read y/n, it hasn't changed.

you sighed to yourself, sitting the phone on your stomach. you wanted to call him, you wanted to ask him what was wrong, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. the last time you had called it went straight to voicemail. the last time you facetimed him, you were stuck staring at your own reflection on the phone. you'd never been more confused than you were now. 

you were both happy, so you thought. you both found that being friends was easy, so you thought. you thought you were both over that feelings stage, again, so you thought.

you thought you were both good at pushing down feelings… but you definitely weren't. you missed him. you needed him now. chan was always someone you looked for when a date didn't result in what you predestined it to be. 

now, you were alone. 

you had no one to talk to about what happened at the restaurant, you had no one to rant about not being able to date properly, and you were lonely. his friends were your friends. his friends only became your friends when you two started dating. now you both were back to how it was when the breakup happened. you couldn't text or call vernon or seungkwan, you felt it wasn't your rightful place.

you looked over to your window sill, the cat nowhere to be seen. you scoffed at the irony. you were completely alone, wanting your bed to swallow you whole and take you away from your racing thoughts.

weeks and weeks passed by, with no dates, no tinder, no matches. you deleted the app. you haven't contacted anyone, you have barely left your house, only going to capture pictures to keep your mind busy.

ever since you've cooped yourself in your apartment, you had time for yourself, time to think, time to come to an understanding with your feelings. it's so unruly how much time you took to come to terms that you were indeed head over heels for lee chan. the times you'd comfort yourself by looking at pictures the two of you had taken, the comfort you'd gotten from listening to his voice messages, he felt like home and you couldn't lose that.

you were stubborn, you knew what you wanted even though it took you forever to realize what that specific thing was. 

so as it rained over seoul, you didn't bother taking an umbrella; you wore your hoodie, running in the converse you wore. your clothes were getting soaked but you could care less, especially after he had opened the door. “hi.”

you shivered slightly at the soft breeze that came from his apartment. chan tugged you in, rushing over to his bathroom to give you a towel as he tossed it to you for you to wrap around yourself tightly. not long later, the two of you sat there in his living room in silence. neither of you spared a glance at the other. the tension was unbearable, but how was chan supposed to bring up why he stopped talking to–

“so, why did you… why did you stop talking to me?” well, that was easier than he thought.

“i… i don't kno–”

“don't pull that shit with me, chan. tell me the reason… if it's something i did, i’ll apologize and we can go back to how things were before this.”

“no we can’t,” he concluded, his fingers playing with his sweatpants lace. you looked at him, evident gloom on your face.

“w-why not? i mean, i thought things were going good, and then out of nowhere, you ghosted me,” so much for admitting to your feelings for him.

“this isn't good for either of us, y/n. and you fucking know that too, don't you?” he looked over at you, shaking his head in disappointment. “why do i even keep playing into your little bullshit plans? every. single. time.” you watched as he stood up, his arms crossing over his chest. 

“chan, what are you talking about? what bullshit plan–”

“this whole fucking thing y/n. you, me, we can never be friends,” he raged. he let out a huff, rubbing his face as he spoke softer. “you know it.”

“why are you saying this?”  

“some things… some things you can't just apologize for and expect shit to go back to your definition of ‘normal’. it's like you don't care about anyone’s feelings except your own!” he was back to yelling and the sudden outburst made you jump a bit. 

you looked at chan and something truly shifted in your mind. your sock-clad foot tapped on the wooden floors in soft pats until your leg began to bounce gently. the words melded into your brain and everything he said strengthened your anger.

you stood up from your seat, walking over to the man, eyes boring into his, “so… since i don't give a fuck about you as you say, i’m gonna do something that you hate. confront me chan, what are your feelings, huh?”

“i don't have to deal with this y/n, not with you. you can't force me to say shit–” you shoved him, dropping the towel that was around you. vernon wasn't there like how he was for your usual arguments. chan’s eyes pierced through yours, his fist clenching at his sides. 

“fucking say it!” you shoved his shoulder again, your voice growing louder as you snapped at him. you don't know where this kept anger came from, but better you get it out now than keep it in. 

“stop shoving me y/n or i swear to you–”

“what? you’ll do what, huh? stop being a fucking pussy and tell me how you actually feel.”

“what do you want from me? what do you expect me to say? none of it will get through that hard head of yours, will it?” one last shove from you sent chan off the edge, “fine! you wanna know what's so wrong with me? imagine having the love of your life make decisions for you all the damn time. watching her spend all her time on dumbass dates and spending all that time trying to move on from someone who still can't take her off his mind no matter how hard he tries. and just imagine this, he’s doing it all for her.”

as he spoke, you backed away from him as he got closer and closer and closer until you fell onto the couch. chan was seething in anger, his nostrils flared as he continued, “it’s always about, you, you, you, the only times you focus on me is when you want to see if i’ve moved on myself. don't you dare call me a pussy when you're the one who stormed out once she saw i had someone over.” “fuck you chan, i didn't storm out because of her.” chan knelt in front of you, the anger pouring from your eyes as tears filled them, “yes you did. stop lying, it's not cute on you.” the hot tears spilled from your eyes, your body beginning to shake, “what? you give but you can't take?”

you stood up, shoving past him, and began to walk out but your body was pushed back down on the couch. chan’s arm pinned you to sit as he continued to kneel in front of you, “fucking let me go,” you sobbed. chan hated watching you cry(when it wasn't in the bedroom), but he knew if you didn't talk now, you never would. 

“no… i’m not letting you walk out. i made that mistake a year ago and look where it got us… right now, we go by my rules, not yours. you made me talk, so now it's your turn.”

chan was patient. he sat there in front of you for almost ten minutes as you cried. his own eyes filled with tears, a few falling down his cheeks. your body calmed when chan’s hand found yours. he rubbed the top of your hand with his thumb. you opened your eyes, the instant eye contact making your heart wrench. 

“talk.”

“i… i thought we made a mutual agreement to move on from each other… i thought that's what you wanted, every decision i make isn't me wanting to be selfish. i swear it isn't,” you hiccuped, your hand shaking in his as you talked. you couldn't hold his gaze any longer. you looked down at your intertwined hands, the sight bringing you to more tears. you shook your head as you kept speaking, “i never wanted to hurt you back then chan. i was doing this moving-on thing because i didn't want to harm you anymore.”

“y/n…”

“no, you said i could talk, so let me. i beat myself up when we broke up and i know you did the same. i didn't want that for you, i didn't want to hurt you chan, i didn't,” you pitifully repeated yourself over and over quietly until you continued speaking. “but somehow… me being cautious of that hurt you even more.”

chan couldn't hold himself together any longer, his head dropped and the salty tears poured from his eyes.

“i love you lee chan, i love you more than anything. you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, i’m so fucking sorry i didn't treat you like you were. the dates, i stopped going on them a month ago. you were the only thing on my mind, you not texting back really did have me worried sick…”

chan chuckled a bit, saying a soft apology, wiping his tears away as he looked at you. he didn't want any more blame on either of you, he didn't want to have any more regrets when it came to you. chan didn't want to miss this chance. it was his turn to be selfish. chan took both of your hands in his, “i never agreed on moving on, but i can agree about putting myself down after i left you. i hated walking out instead of talking about what we needed to change and fix. i never want you to take full blame anymore, you hear me? now, how about this, let's have a redo. i’ll take you on a date like one of those tinder dates did, i’ll try to win your heart back.”

“you don't have to win it, you already have it… but a do-over sounds nice,” you lifted your head to look at him, wanting to kiss him, but you didn't rush it.

chan pulled his hands away from you, holding only one out, “hi, i’m lee chan.” he smiled with all he had.

“hi chan, i’m y/n l/n.” you returned the smile. 

date eleven.

maybe you were biased or deeply and madly in love but this was the best date you'd been on. chan beforehand texted you “it’s a match!” not knowing how much trauma that phrase gave you. you cringed, begging him to tell you where you two were going, but he didn't budge.

it wasn't big, it wasn't grand, and it wasn’t a studio date(fuck seungcheol). chan knew you’d love it. your eyes grew at the neon signs and fluorescent lights that shaded your faces in blues and greens. 

a bowling arcade.

you remembered your first date with chan being in the same arcade. he brought you not knowing how competitive you were. turns out you didn't really have to be too competitive, chan was really bad at bowling. you kept your giggles and laughs to a minimum for the sake of him not having a mental breakdown. after a night of bowling, chan really did show you up that night in arcade games–not all of them–and made you eat the words you teased him with.

that night was perfect, but nothing compared to this night.

“you know, i’m kind of crazy when it comes to bowling now. you wouldn't believe it,” he bragged, wiping a ball down as he looked at you.

you nodded along with his assessment, pointing at the pins, “hey, you're right. i don't believe it. try knocking those down, big boy.”

he squinted at you, turned back to the lane, and lined up his shot… roll, and roll, and in the gutter it went. you covered your mouth, trying to stop the laugh that was going to escape but it was no use. you heard him groan, pointing behind him as he pouted. 

“i know, i know, go on and get that spare ‘crazy bowler’,” you quipped, watching him grab his ball. he lined up his shot once again, the ball curving to only hit two pins. 

“this isn't right, i demand a recount.”

“chan… you can’t… never mind.”

when it was your turn, you looked towards the lane, the smile you once had was replaced with a concentrated frown. you lined up the pitch, watching the ball roll. before it made it to the pins you turned to chan, pointed at him, and said, “you should get better at this.” the sound of the pins falling was heard behind you, and chan’s jaw dropped in astonishment. he stuttered trying to figure the situation out and when you turned around, you were stunned as well. 

the ball had only hit nine pins, the last pin being in the middle, the most unusual pin to still be up.

“how the…” you mumbled as you looked at the still-standing pin.

“that's more impressive than knocking them all down.”

“that's what i’m saying,” you said, your arms crossed as chan stood beside you, taking a picture of it.

“how did you manage to get worse at something you were actually good at?” you laughed, as you both made your way to his apartment door. chan whined, struggling with the keypad a bit before walking in with a few stuffed animals you both had gotten from the prize store. none of the stuffies coming from any of chan’s won tickets.

“hey, it's not like i was that bad, it was more that i lacked skill, and the buttons were way too far apart,” he tried to convince. once you two made it to the living room, vernon and seungkwan were already staring at the two of you. 

you leaned over a bit from beside him and mumbled, “you said we’d be alone.”

“we were supposed to be.”

vernon was the first to put together the situation, scooting up on the couch, rubbing his eyes to make sure he was seeing things correctly, “wait a minute. wait a damn minute. did you two?”

“did they, what? go on a date? yes. did he not tell you?” seungkwan asked, looking over at vernon.

“no!”

“he’s been bugging the shit out of me, ‘what should i bring her?’, ‘how should i dress?’, ‘what type of food should i take her to get?’. how am i supposed to know? she's your ex,” seungkwan complained, the two of them talking like the both of you weren't there.

“i’m just flabbergasted as to why i wasn't told about this.”

“flabbergasted? vernon, did you just say flabbergasted? isn't that too big of a word for you?” you joshed. chan burst out into laughter beside you as seungkwan sucked in his lips to keep from laughing just as loud. 

chan quickly wiped the smile from his face to look at the older male, sending an accusatory finger his way, “hyung, i thought i told you that we were coming back here?”

“you did, but i wanted to see if it would fail or not,” seungkwan confessed, shrugging as he stood up. you furrowed your brows, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared at him. seungkwan quickly caught sight of your glare, his eyes widening as he shook his hands in front of him, realizing what he’d just said. “no. see, not like that. i’m not saying it would have failed like immediately. i’m just saying because… and… you… vernon let's go.”

vernon nodded, rapidly standing to his feet, “roger.”

both of you watched as the two of them ran from the apartment as promptly as they could, leaving you and chan alone. chan grinned at the running two as he went to his room, tossing the stuffed animals on his bed. he narrowed his eyes at the plushies before changing his mind, picking them back up and sitting them on an empty seat, facing the wall. he walked back over to his bed, pointing at it, “you’ll be used soon, don't worry.” he chuckled lightly at his little joke before walking back to the living room.

you were already sitting on the couch, patting the seat next to you as chan plopped down. “did you think the date would fail?” you asked him curiously, what seungkwan had said sending your mind into a frenzy. 

“no. did you?”

you looked at him, his eyes locking onto yours while you shook your head. you said a soft ‘no’ keeping eye contact, occasionally looking down at his lips. the last time you looked at his lips, he smirked a bit, snapping his fingers up towards his eyes. 

“my eyes are up here.” “yeah… and my eyes are down here,” you pointed at his lips, gingerly poking his bottom lip with the tip of your finger. chan grabbed your wrist, his hand gradually traveling up to interlock with yours.

“can you tell me something?”

“what's up?”

“how many of them did you kiss?” he questioned, playing with your fingers gently. his eyes never left yours. yours, however, faltered quite a bit.

“dates?” chan nodded. “one.”

“fucked?”

you almost choked on some spit that was about to go down your throat once the word left his mouth. you composed yourself as best as you could, gulping down the aforementioned spit, “one.”

“i see…” chan was angry. you could tell. he wasn't mad at you, but at whoever laid a finger on you in the first place. both pairs of lips you had he’d always expressed belonged to him. though he couldn't be too mad since he did sleep with someone himself. “how was it?”

“terrible…”

chan chuckled humorlessly, “mm… let me guess, he knocked out before you could even get to come.” you knew what this was leading up to as you tried to suppress your excitement. 

“basically,” you murmured, your lips sucked in as you tried keeping your smile brushed off your face. he nodded again, looking down at your hand that was perfectly linked with his, exactly how it should be.

his eyes went back to look at yours as he began to lean in. the hold by his hand grew tighter once your lips met. it was soft, delicate, and felt exactly how it did when you two were high schoolers kissing like nothing else mattered. you could feel his hands untangle from yours as he placed a hand on your face, deepening the kiss.

the kiss soon grew breathless, rough, feverish. it was hot, the only thing cooling you being the ceiling fan that was spinning above you two. you both pulled away from each other, his lips slightly reddened as his tongue brushed over his bottom one. you watched as he licked it slowly, your heartbeat in your ears at this point. “fuck you,” you stood up, grabbing his hand again before dragging him up from the couch to his room.

once the door closed, he pushed you against it, his lips attaching back to yours. his hands came up to your clothed breasts, gripping them both harshly causing you to pull away to watch his hands fondle you. you looked down at his hands as they gripped the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head. he tossed it behind him, his eyes focusing on your bra-covered breast. 

his lips connected to your neck, sucking at the skin. his teeth softly bit at the spot that he had just sucked on. he tore away from the marked skin, a proud smirk on his face. he trailed his fingertips along your hips to your back, unclasping your bra as you let it fall from your arms. he grabbed your hand, leading you to the bed. he pushed you down, a soft giggle leaving our lips. he smiled a bit, climbing on top of you, his lips kissing yours again. he mumbled softly, “i fucking missed you so much.”

you pulled back, looking him in the eyes, “then show me. show me how much you missed me.”

the look he gave you would’ve probably scared other girls away, the look he gave you was nothing less than devious. you knew how giving chan the ‘okay’ to wreck you made him act. he grabbed a hold of your legs, dragging you towards him. he unbuttoned your pants, taking both them and your panties off of you in one go. 

“you still have that little masochist side of you?”

“i went on ten bad dates and you're asking me that now?”

he laughed a bit, getting rid of his own shirt as he stood at the foot of the bed. his eyes raked each and every part of your body, his gaze landing on your dripping core. his hands gripped your knees, spreading them and raising them up so they touched your chest. he swiped two fingers along your slit as you choked on a whine once his palm connected to your folds with a sharp slap. he sat beside you, keeping an arm draped on the backs of your thighs to keep your knees to your chest. “i missed this even more,” he said, his middle finger dipping into your tight hole. he twisted and thrust the finger slightly, making your eyes fall shut, letting out a pitiful whimper.

“look at me.” your eyes didn't open, too focused on how his single finger made you feel more than anyone(soonyoung) could. “y/n.” chan stopped his finger, bringing his hand up to grip your jaw. he turned your head to look at him, your eyes finally opening half-lidded. 

“such a pretty girl,” he dropped his hand back to your waiting pussy, two fingers penetrating you. your breath hitched as his fingers gradually picked up their pace, your arousal slightly spattering against his palm. he pulled them out quickly, looking at you with a devious smirk on his face, noticing your upset expression, as he pushed his fingers back into you… only for him to pull out each time he pushed them in.

he may have missed you, but there was something about teasing you. he loved watching you whine, knowing it was for him and only him. you on the other hand hated it(secretly loved it). you wanted nothing more than to get him back for all the teasing, but chan would never allow it. domming him was never ever a question in chan’s mind. you'd tried once, but he never backed down on being on top. chan continued to tease you, watching and sneering at your writhing body. 

you were begging, begging for him to do something, begging for him to fuck you. he wiped his hand on your thigh and stood up once again. you looked up at him, putting your feet down on the mattress, keeping your legs spread open for him as he stripped free from his pants and boxers. he tutted his finger from side to side then pointed that single finger to you, rotating it as he signaled for you to turn.

you grinned, speedily turning on to all fours, bringing a pillow to your head as you arched your ass up towards him. he leaned over you, moving the pillow away, allowing your body to bend more into the arch as your head lay flat on the mattress. he stood back upright, kneading your ass in both of his hands, scarcely leaving small spanks. you, being the stubborn brat you were, shook your hips impatiently, knowing how mad it made chan. those small spanks became harsh as you let out a small squeak.

“chan… please…”

“keep begging, maybe it'll work in your favor,” his tip glided through your folds, stopping at your clit as he rubbed it gently. 

“please chan, need your cock so bad. missed it in me, missed your cum filling me up,” you whined, and for some reason, feeling yourself tear up already. you couldn't see behind you, but from the sound of chan’s chuckle and the tip of his cock pushing into you ever so slowly, he was enjoying every bit of it.

“more.”

“please chan, need you to fuck me.”

“that's it? doesn't seem like you really missed me as much as you said,” he taunted, pulling out of you. at the mere feel of him pulling away, you jolted up with wide eyes, shaking your head.

“no! please, i need you so bad, i’m begging. you don't understand how bad i need you chan,” you sat on your knees, bottom lip poking out in a pout and tears brimming your eyes. “i’ll even tell you how much i touched myself just thinking about you.”

“well, tell me,” he crossed his arms over his chest, smirking at you tauntingly.

“i… every time i fingered myself i… i pictured it was you just so i could come faster.”

“carry on…” he bit his lip, his hand wrapped around his shaft as he stroked himself.

“it was never enough, all i wanted was you to fuck me…it didn't feel the same. i don't know, i just… i just need you to be rough with me, please,” you said in nearly a whisper.

that seemed to do the trick because soon as you finished your sentence, chan pushed you back on the mattress, dragging you to the edge of the bed, his cock pushing into your pussy harshly; the squelching sound of your juices was the only thing heard in the room other than your sudden gasp.

chan didn't take his time with you. at all. his hands gripped your waist, almost destined to never let go. his hips pounded into yours, the feeling making your hands grip the sheet below you. “this is what my pretty girl wanted, right?” he asked in between grunts.

the tears that brimmed your eyes pooled down your face as you tried to give him a response but failed miserably. you could only muster up moans, but that was enough for chan. he fucked in you almost like he was proving a point to you. this was where you belonged, not with anyone else. 

“tell me how much you love it,” he leaned on you, his hips slowing a bit. 

“i love it so much, need more please,” you begged pitifully, feeling his teeth slightly bite your earlobe. 

“more, huh? this isn't enough for you?” he nodded to himself, standing back upright, grabbing your shoulders to bring you with him. he wrapped his arms around your waist tightly as he slammed you down on his cock. his hips moved in tandem with his pulls causing your eyes to roll back in pleasure.

“is this good enough, mm? is this what you wanted? you're taking me so well, you know that?”

“fu-fuck chan. feels so, ah, feels so fucking good,” you moaned out, leaning your head back on his shoulder.

one of his hands moved from the grip he had on you to hold onto your chin, tilting your face to his. he kissed you roughly, his tongue gliding along with yours. you were in a total haze. when you said that chan could make you come within a blink of an eye, you weren't lying… but as you felt your orgasm build, so did chan. your walls sucked him in deeper and as you were about to let out another moan, he pulled out with a thought popping up in his mind.

you turned your head to look at him, panting, tears still flowing down the plush of your cheeks, “please, don't… don’t fucking do this again.”

he chuckled, scooting you to the side as he sat down on the edge of the bed. he grabbed your hand, tugging you gently on his lap, your cunt hovering over his cock, tip prodding at your entrance. “wanna ride, or do you want me to do all the work?”

your eyes widened, your hands bracing on his shoulders, “you're letting me top?”

“don't be so surprised. do you want to or not? i’d be more than happy to–”

“when i need you to take over, will you?” you cut him off, playing with your fingers.

“a thousand percent,” he said, smiling softly. his demeanor did a full 360 on you, but sex with chan was always filled with surprises.

you smiled widely at him, pecking his lips before one of your hands dipped between the two of you, lining him up to your entrance. you sunk down on him until you bottomed out, both of you letting out content groans. you felt amazing around him, but you knew chan was waiting for you to come before he could. you started to bounce on his lap, clumsily, but enough for you both to get some bits of pleasure. chan let out an unexpected low moan that made you almost lose your mind and your nonexistent pace. you wanted–no, needed–for more of those to come from his mouth. you gripped his shoulders tighter, eyes squeezing shut as his cock grazed your walls entirely too well. he was holding onto your waist as tightly as he did when he was domming you, but this time it was for a vastly different reason.

you loved this, so much. you leaned back, hands on his knees as you swiveled your hips against his, clit brushing up against his pelvis. the extra stimulation had you throwing your head back in pleasure, letting out an unstable moan, unable to focus on your movements any longer.

“you did your best pretty girl,” he joked, leaning back on his hands, his left grabbing your thigh. “move your hips back against me, you hear me?”

you nodded, one of your fists clenching at your side while the other gripped his knee to keep yourself balanced as you languidly ground your hips against his length. he pumped up into you, focusing on how beautiful you looked: eyes closed, bottom lip tucked underneath the top row of your teeth as you tried to hide your breathy moans, your face stained with tear streaks, breasts moving up and down steadily as you rocked your cunt down on him. you really were his pretty girl. 

he watched as his lap puddled in your sweet arousal and swiped your clit with two fingers before bringing them up to his mouth to suck on them. you looked at him with the same hooded eyes as before. the way he sucked on his fingers making you clench down on his shaft. 

“you keep doing that, i’m gonna come faster than you get to,” he laughed airly, rubbing your thigh gently.

you smiled lazily, leaning up, bringing your lips to his. the air in the room, although still hot, became lighter. it was loving. chan had proven his point, now it was time to enjoy the moment with you for as long as he wanted. his hand moved from your thigh to your ass, slapping it before gripping the soft flesh. you sucked in a breath, pulling from his lips, looking over his expression. you bought your hands to cup his face, your swollen lips kissing his once again. 

“i love you y/n,” he mumbled against your lips. “so much.”

“i love you too.” 

“i’m gonna go faster now, okay?”

you said a soft ‘okay’, laying your forehead on his shoulder. chan’s pace quickened nearly instantly, the position you two were in gave chan a way to get to your g-spot easily. you moaned in his ear, eyes fluttering shut yet again.

“fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” you cried, turning your face away from him as his fingers toyed with your clit. you kept moaning ‘oh fuck’ like it was the only two words in your vocabulary. moans and curses spewed from your mouth until your body convulsed on top of him. 

chan held you to him, kissing your shoulder, slowing his thrusts to coax you through your high. as you came down, you breathed heavily, trying your hardest to steady yourself.

chan rubbed your back soothingly, “you okay?”

you nodded.

“i’m gonna come now okay,” he said, flipping you so your back laid onto the mattress, letting you climb to the head of the bed to rest your head on a pillow.

you nodded again.

he kneeled on the bed, pushing his cock back into you as he jerked his hips sloppily inside of you. you tried to moan, but the overstimulation was so overwhelming that your mouth fell open into a silent moan. you felt him twitch in you before ropes of his cum filled you to the brim. you shook a bit as he pulled out slowly, the sweat from his body melding with yours as he laid on top of you.

“so, did that show how much i missed you?”

“oh… fucking absolutely.”

after the last date, chan continued taking you on them. the butterflies each time never left no matter how many dates he took you on. there was no doubting how much you loved each other, and after each amazing lovemaking session, and the quite daring quickies, you got back together. this time you two didn't rush into it, you didn't want to lose the love you both thought you had lost before.

it was finally after the last date, you two were cuddled up against the couch looking at whatever movie played on the tv as vernon and seungkwan came in looking at the two of you. 

“oh wow. you owe me twenty bucks,” vernon whispered to seungkwan a bit too loudly. seungkwan slapped the other’s shoulder, his face morphing into a frown.

“you guys were betting on our relationship?” chan asked, a scowl falling on his face, as well as a mimicking one on your own face. 

they both looked at you two with widened eyes before pointing at each other, “he started it!”

“vernon, you literally told me you wanted to see if it'll last. guys see, look it wasn't even me, i… hah… i thought you two were gonna prosper,” seungkwan tried sounding certain of himself, scratching the back of his neck before clapping his hands together. neither you nor chan’s faces changed from the previous scowls. vernon, obviously not catching the signals, spoke again.

“what? dude, you're the one who said ‘oh y/n might kick chan’s ass by the end of–’ ow!” vernon rubbed the side of his head. you glared at seungkwan as he bit down on his cheek, avoiding eye contact. vernon on the other hand was ready to slap seungkwan back, but seungkwan was quick to move away.

as the two argued and chased each other around the tight living room, chan looked at you and then at your hands that were laced together. perfect.

“you wanna go to my place instead?” you asked him, rubbing his hand softly. 

he looked up at you, nodding as he looked at his two friends and then you again, “yes please.” 

in a split second, you two were gone and vernon definitely got that twenty bucks.

short taglist: @bang-bang-bangtxn​

can’t tag: @chwebychew

[thelost-in-time]

Hello! I noticed the requests were open and I really wanted to request because I am in love with writing. If you're comfortable then can you please write a scenario where xiao (or maybe albedo?) where he comforts you after a long and bad day at work? Thank you so much 💓

Thelost-in-time has returned!

Hello, anon. I decided to do both because I know people like both Xiao, and Albedo (Looking at you @jupeteer our certified Albedo simp)

So here is your request. I hope it's okay.

Come rest in my arms

Xiao and Albedo comforting you after you've had a long, rough day at work.

Can be seen in a modern au or canonverse.

Tw: stress, doubting oneself, burnout, mental breakdowns

Xiao

Too long.

He had been witnessing you push yourself for too long now.

Xiao decided to watch you while you were at work from across your workplace.

He saw how customers and clients were not treating you fairly.

You had that typical customer service attitude and smile.

Smile even though they don't respect you.

Be polite even when they disrespect you.

Your coworkers decided to be mean to you at times today too.

And to top it all off, you were in pain. Physical pain.

He knew you wanted to just cry, but you couldn't. Not while you were at work, because you needed to remain professional.

He knew you counted down the minutes until you could get home, and when that time finally arrived, he swooped you into his car to drive you both home.

The ride was silent, too silent. He broke that silence in a voice that was very gentle, glancing at you for a moment.

"Would you like something to eat? I picked up something for me, and I accidentally got extra fries."

He asked, gesturing to the fast food bag in your hands, prompting you to look inside and see he wasn't lying.

Were you hungry though?

Were you even able to eat?

You didn't think so, but Xiao has his ways of getting you to eat.

He even gave you his chips.

Leave me alone. They are chips and fries where I am at.

Once you two got home, Xiao runs you a bath and pulls you to watch your favourite movie.

Unless you don't have a favourite movie, then he puts on a comforting film instead.

"Do you—"

You interrupted him before he can ask if you wanted to talk about it.

"No. Just hold me."

You said, making him wrap his arms around you to hold you.

"As long as you need."

Xiao told you, his tone soft as he held you in his arms, allowing you to hear his heart beat.

If you couldn't sleep, Xiao would sing you something to help you.

The next morning, he would already have your breakfast prepared and gives you breakfast in bed.

"I called in sick for you. Today, it's all about you."

Xiao tells you, leaning against the doorframe before listing all the fun activities he has planned for you two to do.

Anything you need, say the word. He has you covered.

Albedo

"Come on. Just imagine clear blue skies with no clouds."

Albedo heard you murmuring to yourself, having just picked you up from your second job.

Your main job went by pretty decently.

You had made a ton of minor mistakes, yet you still felt a bit down about it.

You also may have had a few mental breakdowns but nobody had to know that.

No. Your problem started at your second job. Babysitting.

It wasn't really your job, it was moreso taking care of the kids of your family's friends.

But then something happened, and you had a breakdown.

Albedo had noticed you had started to burn out by the middle of the month, but he didn't actually realize it would get this bad.

"Maybe I should just quit both my jobs. I'm not suited for this."

You mumbled for Albedo to hear, causing him to stop the car and pull over to the side, turning to face you.

"Quit babysitting because they're not paying you, but not your main job. My love, you are amazing at your job, today was just a bad day."

Albedo said, reaching over to cup your face gently as he looked into your eyes, determined on not having you sink deep into your pit of stress.

"Al—"

You were about to deny his statement before he interrupted you, his tone soft yet firm.

"No. You had a bad day, and those happen. You absolutely had no fault in the matter. You're burnt out, you're exhausted. Its okay to feel that way."

Albedo said, slightly startling you as he moves to hold your hands, gently rubbing the back of your hands with his thumbs.

"No, but—"

You tried to speak to him again, trying to deny his statement, but he spoke once more.

"But nothing. You're amazing. It's okay to feel down, but I'm here to help you feel better. Once we get home, I'll give you a massage and make you something to eat."

Albedo said, leaning over to kiss your forehead as you accepted your fate: Albedo was going to convince you that you're innocent in the matter.

"Just trust me on this. I would never lie to you."

Albedo softly urged you, and trust him you did as he drove you two home once more.

Upon arriving home, Albedo helped you out of your coat and sat you down on the couch before removing your shoes for you.

"Just let me take care of you tonight. I'll do anything to help you feel better. It's a promise."

Albedo murmured against your skin as he has placed a gentle kiss to your forehead, resting one of your hands on his heart.

Albedo gave you a massage, made you dinner, ran you a bath, (gave you a bath if you're comfortable with that), and got you ready for bed.

As he layed next to you, singing you a song to help you fall asleep, he mumbled a promise to you

"I promise to always help you. To lift you up. I would have offered stargazing, but it's a cloudy night."

Albedo moves the hair out of your face as you tiredly look at him, not yet fully asleep, but not fully awake either.

"You have helped me. Even just the smallest bit. By being here and comforting me."

You mumbled before drifting off to sleep, causing Albedo to smile at your sleeping form, holding you as he too fell asleep

End

[navybrat817]

so we all know scott is a bit of a soft dom with lots of praise but hear my submissive whore ass out— scott having a bad day at work and he takes his frustration out by being a mean rough dom with tons of degrading 😩 because LOOK AT HIM goddammit i hate him.

He totally has soft dom vibes, lovely! I completely agree. I don't know if this is rough enough, but... Wow. This got away from me. Have some Thots Without Thoughts.

Use Me

Pairing: Scott Huffman x Female Reader Word Count: Over 1.4k Warnings: Explicit sexual content, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), mix of degradation (slut) and praise, lightly spanking, light bondage, D/s vibes, Scott Huffman being a feral beast. Also an AU (HE IS MARRIED TO YOU)

Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own.

I do not consent to have my work posted on any third party site or app. If anyone sees my work anywhere but here or archiveofourown under my same username, it has been reposted without my permission. 18+ Please!!! Please comment or reblog if you desire!

You couldn't ask for a better husband and lover than Scott Huffman. Besides treating you well, he made you feel good… cherished. He always made sure to thank you for the little things, like making the bed, and the praise made you feel like you were floating. 

But Scott, like everyone else, had bad days.

You knew something was off the moment he walked through the door. The kiss he gave you was chaste. There was no smile or warmth… and he didn't comment on the mouthwatering aroma of the meal you made. 

"Is everything okay?" you asked quietly.

"Bad day," he muttered as he took his seat at the head of the table and dug in. You ate your food quietly as you sat down, not bothering with small talk. He didn't ask you how you were either. You pushed the hurt aside because you knew something was wrong. But how could you help if he didn't talk to you?

The only sounds made throughout the meal were the scrapes of your forks against the plates. It was enough to drive you crazy. The strange thing was, he didn't take his eyes off of you. He stared as he took each bite, his eyes filled with something you didn't recognize, and you found yourself squirming under his gaze. 

"All finished?" you asked as you stood up.

Scott leaned back in his chair, silently pushing his plate away as he kept staring. 

You clenched involuntarily from how dark his eyes were as you walked around to clear the table. He practically undressed you with his eyes as you leaned over to grab the first dish, pausing when he gripped your wrist.

"The last… fucking thing I need right now is for you to tease me."

You straightened up, trying to pull free of his grasp as he pushed his chair back. "Scott, I wasn't-"

"Putting those perfect tits in my face. You think I don't know what you're doing, sweetheart?" he scoffed as he stood up. 

You gasped as his grip tightened, not enough to hurt. But you sometimes forget how strong he was… and how much you could underestimate his primal need. "I'm sorry."

"You're not sorry. No one ever is," he said, pushing the dishes away with his free hand. The sound of them hitting the floor made you jump.

"I…" you swallowed. You should have felt afraid, but his heated gaze throughout the meal had your panties damp and core throbbing. "I just want to help."

"You want to help me?" he asked, his tone above a whisper. That made your heart pound faster than if he screamed it. 

"I-"

He spun you around before you could protest and pushed your chest against the table. "Scott…" you gasped, turning your head to get a glimpse of him as he pushed your dress up.

"You know how you can help?" he asked rhetorically, tearing the fabric away. "You can take my cock like a good wife and thank me for letting me fuck you."

He paused to gently touch your spine. You knew what he was asking for. "Green… Use me. I can take it," you told him. Because you were made for him.

But you didn't know how pent up he was. 

He chuckled as he unbuckled his belt, kicking your legs apart to give him more access. You whined when you felt his fingertip trace along your folds. "My filthy little slut, aren't you? Look at you. So desperate to be filled by my cock. You'd do anything for it."

You bit your tongue to keep from screaming that you weren't a slut. But you clenched so tightly at his words. After all, he said you were his slut.

"But I'll give it to you because you're such a good girl. My good girl," he praised, that tender touch moving down your spine again before he dropped his pants. "Put your hands behind your back."

Your chest heaved as you did so, biting back a whine when you felt his tie around your wrists. You tested the knot. You couldn't get free. You were completely at his mercy. 

"Fuck, you really are a vision… should tape myself fucking you...” he went on as he stroked himself. “Maybe another day.”

"Scott!" you cried when he suddenly impaled you, your mouth hanging open as he pulled out and slammed into you again. 

"Never seen anyone look so pretty with a cock buried inside them. Should see your pussy stretched around me. That's what you were made for… to fucking take me."

Your cheek felt warm against the table as your body adjusted to his rough motions. There were no soft kisses or loving words. There was no prep or consideration for your comfort. He did what you asked... He used you.

He leaned down, his lips at your ear as he harshly grunted. He sounded like an animal. "Everyone thinks you're a good girl…  but, fuck, I know you love feeling my come drip down your thighs after I fuck you. Your tight hole loves being filled by me. Greedy fucking cunt can't get enough."

You whined, hearing the wet sounds of your need as he thrust in and out. The ache between your legs grew as he drove harder into you and you knew you'd feel him for days. You wanted your pussy to take the shape of his cock and know that nothing and no one else belonged there.

"Babe?" he breathed against your ear.

"Green," you moaned. It could have been the Emerald fucking City, that was how much you craved the push and pull between degradation and praise. Because you wanted to be his whore… but a good one.

"Dirty girl," he mocked.

You heard the slaps on his hips meeting yours, your eyes slipping shut as he pushed you further into the table. You ignored the burn or your arms  in favor of the ecstasy he was building inside you. It was as if your body wasn't your own. It was his toy now.

"Bet you were wet the moment you sat down. Weren't you? Tell me."

"Yes!" you moaned, unashamed. Would he always resort you to this? Someone who needed to be bent over and fucked within an inch of your life?

"Gonna come so hard around my dick. Should push you on the table and watch it slide out after I make you mine. Make a mess where I eat. Think you can get the smell of your cunt off of it?"

You wailed, wishing desperately that you could rub your clit and fall off the edge. You wouldn't need to though. Not with the way your walls kept convulsing. 

"You need to come?" he gritted, sounding nothing like your loving husband.

"Yes, Scott! Yes!" you sobbed when his hand came down on your ass. Your eyes snapped open and you almost came on the spot.

"Mr. Huffman. And fucking ask nicely," he growled, making you tighten around him as his hand came down again. "Is my cock that good that you forgot your fucking manners?"

"Mr. Huffman, please!" you begged, tears burning your eyes. 

His mouth found your neck, his lips soft before he lightly bit down. "Come for me. Right fucking now."

Your orgasm peaked, your body locking up, before you let go. You let out a scream of undeniable pleasure, taking what he gave you. You heard your release, knowing that his dick was soaked with your essence. It should have humiliated you, but it almost triggered another orgasm.

"Jesus fuck. My beautiful… good… fucking slut," he growled as he thrust hard one last time, painting your walls and adding to mess he made of your body. You felt wrecked, used… and alive.

The angle was awkward as he moved his head, your arms sore from his weight against them. He was still breathing heavily as he gently gripped your chin. "Still with me, babe?" he breathed as his lips touched yours.

You made a noise, feeling some of your release, and his, seep around him. "Feel better?" 

He nodded and kissed you gently before letting you rest your head. "Yes. Thank you. I love you so much."

You shivered, clenching around him before you could stop yourself. Hearing his affirmation after claiming you was one of the best things you could ask for. "Love you, too. And thank you… for fucking me."

He smiled as he leaned up, his hands gently gripping your hips. You felt the indent of his wedding band, making you smile, too. "Don't thank me yet. I'm not done with you."

[itsclydebitches]

The FNDM’s ableism has been getting really bad, Clyde. I mean, people are going so far as to compare James and Pietro and say that, because James’ prosthetics allow him to be more mobile, he’s there for “less handicapped”…yeah, really.

Yeah, I came across that comment a couple of days ago, did a horrified double-take, and by the time I'd pulled myself away from a OFMD fic long enough to think about commenting, the rest of the RWDE community had done it all for me.

There's just... so much there. The inherent ableism of believing there's this disability hierarchy at play and every character gets a color-coded sticker for how disabled they "really" are. The biases attached to less visible/less represented disabilities in media (the guy in the wheelchair is accepted in a way the "passing" amputee capable of covering his prosthetics with long sleeves is not). The belief that "real" disabilities are tied directly to suffering (inspiration porn). The belief that Good People (Yang) are inherently "more" disabled and worthy of compassion than Bad People (Ironwood). How all of this is tied up in the rest of Ironwood's character, including his Schrodinger's semblance that reads like a mental illness. Even lacking an acknowledgement of really basic fandom facts like how Ironwood has been written as Penny's dad in AUs because he's been a full-fledged character with a connection to her since Volume 2... whereas Pietro didn't become more than just a profile until Volume 7. Generally speaking, are there problems in fandom at large with ignoring (other) disabled characters/characters of color? Abso-fuckin-lutely. But in this particular case I'd lay that accusation at RT's feet, considering they literally put Pietro in a potentially life-threatening situation and then just forgot about him, including having his magically-turned-human daughter (read: no longer sporting a disability-metaphor body) die without once wondering whether her dad made it to safety. The fans writing fun AUs about a character with Volumes more development because the writers already do not care about Pietro? They're not the ones to go after.

As said, it's all already been covered — I'm late to the party — but honestly? It bears repeating. Not because I believe in dog-piling any one person who makes a mistake, no matter how horrible a mistake we perceive it to be, but because this narrative of, 'I as an individual made a mistake don't blame the fandom at large' is ignoring the bigger problem. The fandom is ableist. Does that mean every individual in it is ableist, either knowingly or ignorantly? Of course not, but it means there's a reason why these takes keep cropping up; why we keep ending up in this cycle of someone saying something ableist, others getting (rightfully) upset over it, and then trying to downplay it like a one-time thing until the next ableist post inevitably comes along. As someone who blocks sparingly, I see all the takes that get tons of notes before someone finally speaks up and says hey, that's not okay. The idea that these takes are the opinions of just one (1) person is nonsense. We exist on a website that literally shows you how many people agree in the form of hearts and that doesn't even begin to cover all the silent readers who agree but never engage. The fandom is ableist because the world is ableist and because the canon has a host of ableism built into it, despite (and sometimes because of) its attempts to give us disabled characters. That's the reason why comments like these turn into "drama." It's never just about you, a one-off fluke posting something bad when that's definitely never ever happened before /s. The entire point is that it keeps happening and that so many support it until the tide turns against them. Fans are up-in-arms about the most blatant ableist comment we've seen in a while because there's been years worth of more subtle, but still very ableist fandom-ing before this. People are sick of it. Ironwood fans in particular are sick of it because too often the ableism they call out is hand-waved away with 'Oh, you're just a lunatic who likes dictators,' or whatever the current insult attempt is. Of course people aren't letting this pass with a metaphorical slap on the wrist because it's not something that has passed. The ableism is alive and well in the RWBY fandom. Libraries' worth of fanart of Yang sporting her prosthetic doesn't erase that.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Ok i got an monster tom x scientist reader au universe thing and no it does not take place in the red army base

Reader is a scientist and is asked to run some tests on a new specimen/monster they found, and when reader sees the specimen/monster they actually think it's kinda cute but then some other scientists shock him and even stick some needles in him and reader just feels bad for the specimen/monster at this point so nighttime rolls around and they hack into the cameras to shut them off and wear a mask so they won't get caught and go to the main room where the specimen/monster is they the reader introduces themselves to the monster the monster, thinking they're gonna hurt them, immediately backs off obviously scared and reader convinces the monster that they're not gonna hurt them and the monster shrinks as he's mostly human and says "your not gonna hurt me?" And they reassure him that they're not gonna hurt him and they sneak into the readers car and drives off the lab that the monster was in and reader asks what the "monsters" name is and says their name is "tom". Then reader makes a pit stop to a store real quick to get tom some clothes and then reader drives to they're home and introduces tom to their room and asks if they want some food/ take out or not an he says yes and they get some chinese food and watch some TV, after eating they both go to bed and reader suddenly finds themselves in Toms arms whimpering a little, and reader just kinda decides to pet his hair and rub his horns a little bit which make him purr then tom wraps his tail around reader and asks them to do it more and they do do that untill they notice that he's asleep then they both fall asleep.

Whew, I enjoyed writing this one ^^

Summary: Reader, a scientist, rescues Monster Tom from the lab that experimented on him and brings him home

...............

"Dr. [L/n], I'll let you oversee today's tests on TR-03."

"Alright, chief." You smiled awkwardly as your supervisor handed you the clipboard. It contained the subject's information: a one-eyed horned monster of an unknown species, though your colleagues have theorized it to be a demon. "What kind of tests are we running on it?"

"Resistance to electric shocks. There's evidence of uranium possibly circulating in its blood, so you'll be watching them extract samples as well."

As he explained, your smile gradually dropped as you looked over the information, seeing a ton of redacted information, including several incidents of the destruction it caused prior to its capture.

"So it's gonna be shocked and stuck with needles? Sounds painful."

"Its armor is thick, so it shouldn't feel a thing. Besides...I don't think you need to worry about whether it'll be painful for it." Your supervisor spoke in a rather condescending tone. "After all it's just an animal."

"I...yes, sir. I'll go oversee the tests right away." Not wanting to argue further, you just left his office and wandered through the building.

You were eager yet anxious to meet this monster.

Eventually you reached the area where the creature was being held, climbing up the stairs that led to the skybridge so you could look down into its holding chambers.

It was a massive dark purple creature, with two bright violet horns and a single black eye. Surprisingly it was allowed full movement, though judging from the many claw marks on the walls...it wouldn't surprise you if one day it was chained up to restrict such behavior.

You actually thought it was..kind of cute? It looked scary in pictures, but up-close it didn't seem as terrifying.

That only made you feel more pity for it as other scientists entered the chamber, clad in protective suits, with electric prongs and needles.

Almost immediately the monster seemed aware of what they were going to do, its eye widening as it stood on both feet and cowered in the corner. It growled in warning, only for a scientist to jab its leg with a prong in response, eliciting a roar of pain.

You physically flinched, feeling bad for the creature. But you took notes on its response to electric shocks.

Subject recognized equipment immediately, perceiving them as danger. Responded painfully to electricity.

Soon after being tortured, the monster seemed dazed, allowing another scientist in a hazmat suit to approach it and stick a needle into its hip. The vial of blood collected turned out to be red, with a glowing green aura.

As you took more notes, you heard a small whimper and looked down, seeing that the monster wasn't putting up a fight.

Instead it was...crying?

Sure enough, tears leaked from its eye as more of its blood was drawn, being electrocuted as some sick form of "sedation". It was hard to tell whether the people inside felt any sort of sympathy, but they just took their leave without saying a word to each other. Only a mere nod.

You didn't want to be here any longer than you needed to, so you finished your report and began heading back to your office.

Though you noticed the monster looking up at you, and you couldn't help but frown and murmur a simple:

"I'm sorry."

.............

After your shift was over, normally you'd go home for the night.

But on the ride home...you kept thinking of TR-03 and couldn't shake the images and sounds of its pain.

The way it responded to just seeing the prongs, and the way it looked at you as though it was begging for help, seemed far too human for it to be just a mindless animal.

Of course, you never questioned the secrets this lab kept--not wanting to be fired. But they seemed to be hiding a lot of stuff about this specimen, never speaking about its origins or even what it was capable of.

You may have only seen it for the first time today, but you wanted to know more about it. And you had a feeling that you won't get the answers you wanted by asking around.

Oh no..you were going to free it in order to find out the truth.

Not just to satisfy your own curiosity, but also because...the way it was being treated was far too cruel. To the point where it was crying.

You couldn't stand for this unethical treatment any longer. You had to do something..and be smart about it lest you got killed or worse.

After making a quick stop at a store, you found a mask and changed your clothes, completely disguising yourself. Then you got back in your car and returned to the lab, parking it somewhere far away so that you can sneak inside.

Fortunately you had security access in case any of the specimen breached their chambers. Thanks to your hacking skills you were able to disable every security camera you could find, putting them all on timers so they'd turn on later in the morning. You didn't want to rouse any suspicion.

That was the easy part.

The most important and difficult task lied ahead.

...........

As soon as you entered the monster's chamber, it woke up and grumbled with annoyance. Clearly it didn't like its rest being disturbed.

Though upon seeing you and the mask you wore, it tilted its head. "Grrrah..?"

"Shhh, it's okay." You whispered, removing the mask so it could see your face. While you were awestruck to actually see it up close and personal, you knew you had to keep calm.

But that might've been a mistake as it seemed to recognize you--the one who was watching it earlier today. It immediately backed into a corner, terrified as its chest began heaving with anxiety.

You couldn't blame it for its reaction, though your gently put your hands up and hushed it. "Please don't panic. I'm not here to hurt you. I wanna get you out of here."

"Hrrgrah?"

"Mhm." Smiling, you just pretended you could understand it. "I don't like how they treat you here. They call you an animal but..I know you're more than that."

The monster calmed down a little, before glancing up to the opposite corner. He made a noise of confusion upon seeing that the security camera's annoying red light wasn't blinking.

"I shut that off so nobody can hear or see us."

"H...ack..?"

You blinked, surprised that it could speak some English, but the fact it wasn't cowering like before was a sign it was trusting you. "Yep, I hacked the whole security complex. Now's our chance to escape, but..ah shit."

Suddenly, it never occurred to you: your mission was focused on getting to the monster, but you never considered how you'll get out with the monster.

"Damn..I'm not sure how we'll sneak you out without...." However, you trailed off as you saw it changing into a smaller form.

But it wasn't just shrinking, it was actually turning partially human.

How curious, nobody told you about that. Maybe that was part of the redacted information.

The monster turned out to be a human male, who still retained his horns, tail, and dark scales and fur, which covered his body. His brown hair was messy and spiky, and interestingly enough he had two black eyes.

He didn't have any clothes, obviously, so you took off your coat and put it around him. "So you're human, huh?"

"Your stupid friends' experiments wouldn't let me turn back for a while..." He grumbled in a slight British accent. "You sure you're not gonna hurt me?"

Understandably he got defensive, knowing you were working for the people who tortured him. But you shook your head. "No, I won't. I'm quitting this shithole and I'll take you with me." You took his hand reassuringly, noting that it was still clawed.

He gave you the tiniest of smiles in return. "Heh, glad we're both in agreement."

Soon you both quickly made your escape, luckily not running into any trouble. Your car was still parked right where you left it, so you got in and drove off.

You definitely won't miss working for that lab.

The roads were mostly empty at this time of night, so you were able to breathe easy knowing nobody's gonna chase you. Now seemed to be the best time to talk with the monster.

"So uh..do you have a name?" You spoke up. "I know they call you TR-03 but it doesn't feel right to call you that anymore."

"Tom." He answered as he looked out the window. "My name's Tom Ridges."

'Huh, that explains his code name.'

"I'm [y/n]." After noticing a nearby plaza, you saw a clothing store and decided to make a quick stop there. Tom seemed to be confused, and a bit worried when you left him in the car all alone, though you reassured him you were just buying some clothes for him.

He waited, trying to keep himself out-of-view in case any strangers got too nosy. But before long you were back, opening the driver's side as you peered in and sighed with relief, seeing him halfway out of the chair.

"Jeez, you scared me..thought somebody got you." You sighed, shaking your head.

"S-Sorry, not trying to get any unwanted attention. It's the last thing I need.." He sat upright, though he was surprised when you handed him a bag. Inside was a blue hoodie, boxers, and gray sweatpants. "Oh, cool."

'That's all he has to say?' His reaction was a bit underwhelming. 'Then again..maybe he hasn't processed that he's never going back to that hell chamber yet.'

You just shut the door and waited for him to get dressed, and when he tapped on the window you got back into the car. He definitely looked more comfortable now.

After giving him a smile, you continued on your way home, feeling glad that you rescued him from that place. You had no idea if he had any place to go, granted you don't recall seeing any information on his address nor any relationships.

So he'll stay with you.

...........

"Luckily I got a spare room. Excuse the mess." You chuckled as you showed Tom the extra room in your house, turning on the light. "You can stay here for as long as you'd like."

He nodded as he looked around, before feeling his stomach grumble. In embarrassment he put a hand over it, glancing at you. "Sorry..the food they had was shitty, I'm sure you knew."

"Yeah...you want takeout?" You took out your phone. "I don't feel like cooking tonight so I was gonna order some anyway."

"Sounds good."

"Alrighty, I'll call in the order. We can go watch TV while we wait."

Once more Tom nodded, following you into the living room space where you both sat down on the sofa. He sighed and leaned back, turning on the TV while you ordered some Chinese food.

This situation felt so...comforting and familiar..

For a moment he gazed at you, seeing you look through the menu.

He knew he wasn't the only prisoner back in that lab. So he couldn't understand why you'd choose him, of everyone you could've helped, but...he considered himself lucky.

For once he felt like he could let his guard down a little.

Some time later the food arrived to your house, and you both ate it while watching various TV programs. You asked Tom a bit more about his home life, though he didn't have much to talk about.

Whether he didn't want to say anything or forgot it thanks to the experiments was a mystery, but you wouldn't pry. You'll get your answers sooner or later, though not tonight.

Tonight you both deserved a good rest.

Afterwards you headed off to your own room, letting him know that he can knock on your door if he ever needed anything.

You got into your pajamas and crawled into bed, yawning.

It had definitely been an eventful day. You were eager to sleep in, knowing that you won't ever go back to your boring (and unethical) job.

But just as you had turned off the lights and dozed off, you heard your door creak open. With a slightly annoyed sigh, you sat up and turned on the lamp beside you, before seeing it was Tom.

"Tom? Your room is..."

Though you fell silent when you heard him...whimper? His eyes were white, indicating he was in some kind of distress.

But he crawled onto your bed, practically situating himself in your arms while making sure he didn't jab you with his horns. You were perplexed by his actions, though you finally realized..

He was just scared.

You held him in your arms, rubbing his horns soothingly and petting his hair, murmuring promises that he was safe. In response he nuzzled up to you, tail wrapping around your body as you both laid down.

You only stopped for a moment as he started purring, which made you chuckle softly. "Purring, huh? That's new."

"Can you keep doing that?" He grumbled, closing his eyes. "It was nice till you stopped."

"O-Oh right, sorry." You continued the previous motions, deciding to hum a small song as well to help him sleep.

Eventually you stopped once he dozed off completely, and your cheeks felt warm upon seeing how adorable he looked. 'And to think I was afraid of this guy?' You mused, before turning off the lamp light.

Soon enough you fell asleep as well.

If this is how Tom expressed his thanks...you'll take it.

[saintprinsessa]

Show me your colors: Agatha Harkness x Fem!reader

Summary: An Au of how Agatha met you and you pinched her curiosity.

You were a witch without colors. And every one of them had one.

Trigger warning: Hurtful past, but the rest is just pure teasing and fluff vibes.

Author’s note: If you find any mistakes, these are on me!

This cost me a bit, I hope it´s good.

Anyways, please enjoy. <3

----------------------------------------------------

150 years before the Hex thing.

Soft creaks could be heard in the deepest parts of the woods, in the night, everything turned less lively and more disturbing.

Crickets making a symphony in the pasture, the wind blowing through the trees making them tilt a bit, while some of the leaves fell, dancing harmoniously until they touched the ground.

It was raining, so the witch speed up her steps, she despised when her cloak damped, it could turn into days to let it dry completely.

A bad feeling hit her gut, she swears for a moment that she heard some kind of lament or whimper; she straightened herself and looked around, trying to find where did it come from.

Now, it turned into a crying, but it remained soft, like if it didn´t want to be heard.

The witch put one of her hands up, making a claw form and letting some of her purple magic dance in it.

She slowly approached the source of the noises, she ducked a little to pass a tight space between two trees, when she crossed to the other side, she accidentally stepped over a branch making it crunch and alerted the presence that was sobbing near, who quickly tried to get away from its intrusor.

Agatha hesitated a bit, she took a step backward and her hand went higher, trying to let know to whatever was in there, that she was capable of overpowering it.

After a few seconds, the movements ceased and the sobbing was back again.

The witch walked towards the being and stopped when she took what was in her sight.

A girl?

She whipped her wrist a little purple flame appeared to give her light.

How a girl could be in here... ah.

She got the flame to grow a bit and let it float near, then she carefully kneeled in front of the scared being that was curled up in front of her, who turned out to be you.

"Please, just let me go, don´t hurt me."

You said with a shaky tone, shivering a bit, your hands tangled in your hair for protection.

"Are you a witch?"

Agatha had her brows knitted.

In case you were one, what was the point of being so scared?

You stopped trembling.

A new voice...

You let your hands fell from your hair, then moved the hair off your face, so you could see who was talking.

But instead of seeing the figure first, your eyes caught the floating light, then locked into the witch´s ones.

She cleared her throat, expecting an answer.

"I am, ma´am."

You replied calmly, and Agatha hummed.

An intense stare fight started between you two, light tension could be felt in the air, the soft rain was the only thing daring interrupt.

It all stopped when a small droplet of water sneaked under Agatha´s cloak and ran down her back, she clenched her jaw, stood up, and rolled her eyes mentally as she started to walk.

"This way."

You were stunned, but as soon as you heard those words, you stood up clumsily, stepping over your dress and tried to catch the witch who was now meters afar.

The whole trip was silent, Agatha kept up a steady pace, the flame following close and then you, who almost tripped three times now.

When you recovered from your close fall and composed yourself, a cottage appeared in front of you.

This wasn´t here before, was it?

Agatha made her way inside, so did her flame, instantly disappearing and lighting all the candles around the house, and you followed, well, nearly.

You stood under the threshold nervous, waiting for something.

Agatha noticed your hesitation and chuckled while raising a brow.

"Are you waiting for an invitation? Close the door, it´s freezing."

You nodded eagerly, wiped your feet on the little entrance carpet, and shut the door softly behind you, just to feel a warmness in the air when Agatha conjured a spell to light up the chimney and made the house regain temperature in seconds.

"Now..."

Agatha said while she encircled you, observing.

You had your hands clasped at your front, chest rising and descending slowly and your eyes were fixated on the floor.

"How did you come to end sobbing and squealing like a harmed little rat?"

Of course, the witch wasn´t going to be easy on you.

You shifted your gaze to look at the witch and returned to the floor again.

"Well, I... I thought... I thought you were..."

You breathed deeply, then started to shift your weight from feet to another and chewed the inside of your cheek, avoiding her presence, feeling how her eyes burned into your skull.

Agatha didn´t like that, so she made a move.

With a quick trick, she had you trapped on a wall, with your hands pinned to your sides.

You squealed surprised, processing the sudden change, your head bumped onto the wall with force, and you hissed through gritted teeth.

"I won´t ask again."

Agatha said dryly, while a purple darkish cloud formed between her fingers and grew bigger as time passed.

"Wait! Please!"

You breathed almost tripping over your words.

"I thought you were one of the witches of the coven! They didn´t want me near them!"

That didn´t resolve Agatha´s curiosity about your origin but enlivened them.

"What got you expelled?"

You tilted your head as if Agatha was saying crazy things.

The dark-haired knitted her brows and took a step forward.

"Ah! Ex-expelled? I was never part of it... they wouldn´t let me..."

Tears now were falling freely on your face, not just the pain in the back of your head, but your story was affecting too.

"Why?"

The question was calm, Agatha´s hand didn´t glow anymore, she saw how you were not in any position of attacking her, you were vulnerable.

You raised your head to look at the woman and tried to lift your hand a bit, but it quickly was put down by a flick of a wrist of her.

A sob escaped from your lips, and the woman let your body fall to the ground, soon, you were curled up trying to be the farthest possible from the other witch.

"Please, just let me show you"

You said in shaky breaths.

"If you try anything..."

Agatha summoned the little purple flame again, but it had spikes now and it was dangerously close to your head.

You closed your eyes, inhaled, and exhaled sharply, while rising your hands slowly and making a little dance with them to just emanate energy from it.

Agatha was watching everything closely.

Now, the energy was a little sphere and started floating until it reached Agatha's level of eyes.

Her eyes shifted from the ball to your now-forming sad smile.

The energy had no color.

Every witch that Agatha had witnessed had a specific color in her powers, it showed the goal of the witch, that is why it was usual to see a coven with the same type of color on their powers, every one of them had the same objective.

Hers was purple mixed with black because of her thirst for power, even trespassing the insane limits and moving as free will in the dark side, but she loved to sugarcoat it and said that she just belonged to royalty.

"I´m useless, that is the problem, I won´t learn"

You said shrugging your shoulders a bit, while the energy ball faded.

Something in Agatha spoken for itself and decided that she had to be your instructor, she had to show you how useful you could be, otherwise, what she could do with you?

And as time passed by, you now could protect your thoughts, manipulate others and even shapeshift things easily.

But something was still missing.

A few years later.

Books were swirling around the witches as the oldest one in the room was conjuring, you were just observing, from time to time, making little figures of animals to make the ambient more alive.

Agatha snapped out her concentration when a ton of fishes came swimming through her hair and one slapped her cheek with her rear fin.

She glanced annoyed at your figure while you muffled a snort, trying to contain your laugh.

The brunette sighed and the animals disappeared.

“How come to after all this time you never, not even once, had color in your powers?”

Agatha put a hand in her head dramatically, while the other one rested on her hip.

You shrugged your shoulders and kept your head low, why she kept asking that?

“The powers of a witch always come with a specific color, not only it shows the intentions, but the personality and aspirations of the witch.”

You shook your head a bit and slightly twitched your wrist, so a little trick would show.

A flame was sparkling in your hand.

“Gray...”

Your lips twitched upwards and you were limited to nod.

“Don’t you have any mission, dear?”

You knit eyebrows.

Well, I´m hungry, so eat?

Agatha now started lecturing you, you just huffed defeated, every time that she brought the subject up, it ended with her being exhausting and repeatedly explaining how you needed to concentrate on finding your “true nature”.

“Are you listening, (y/n)?”

You rolled your eyes and smiled sarcastically.

“Yes, mentor, always.”

Agatha chuckled slightly, she knew how much worked up your nerves being told this and that, you usually called her “mentor” when you were mocking.

“Well, now, be a good girl and help me with this new spell.”

A pink flush was spread all over your face.

You did help her, because, you were a good girl.

A good girl for Agatha.

Later that night.

“I think..."

Agatha said aloud, suddenly irrupting the silence in the house, making you shift your gaze off the book.

"We have never tried putting you in an extreme situation."

The witch said reflexively.

"We need to find something that disturbs you enough to the point of reach your limits."

She said now enthusiastically, a train of ideas came fast to her brain, and honestly, it scared you a bit.

"What about trying with spiders?"

You gulped, and shook your head, completely disagreeing with her.

"No insects, no fire neither water, just no."

You said defensive, dismissing any crazy idea that she could probably have.

Agatha mumbled some incoherences under her breath about how boring you were.

"Fine, then, on the other hand, we have to fulfill one of your biggest desires, little one."

Your body trembled and you bit your lip nervously.

“Ah ah, I think I provoked something in there, didn’t I?”

Now your eyes were back to the book in your hands, avoiding Agatha.

“What is the thing that you crave most than anything, angel?”

You ignored her, but you knew that, sooner or later, you had to show her.

What your mind and soul wished was undeniable at this point.

There was no getting away from this.

Once you took enough encouragement, you tossed the book somewhere, took a step forward, and hesitantly cupped her cheek with a doubtful hand, and closed the gap between you two, brushing your lips into Agatha’s soft ones.

A jolt of energy went through your bodies, making Agatha and you squirm on your feet with excitement.

She let her palms rest on each side of your body, softly caressing up and down.

And deepened the kiss, tilting her head to the side while you sighed contently.

Now, the magic in the air became ecstatic, embracing you two close.

It was a slow dance with your magic and hers, intertwining and mixing to vibrate gently, your bodies synchronized your heartbeats and breathing, your figures locking as if somehow, they were made for each other.

You were finally accepting your feelings.

You had fallen for her.

Badly.

Every time that you saw her smile at you, your heart tried to jump out of your chest, your breathing became unstable and your cheeks burned.

Agatha made you feel invincible.

A muffled chuckle made you come back from your cloud.

How sweet you are, (y/n).

That sentence echoed in your mind, there was a sudden tickle in your head and you became a flushed mess, you were beyond embarrassed.

Agatha had heard your thoughts.

“Orange?”

Agatha said smiling, her forehead was pressed with yours, her eyes locked onto yours.

She was referring to your, now, colorful powers.

“The color of creativity and enthusiasm”

Agatha snorted a little and closed her eyes.

A lot of memories of you laughing, messing with her, making weird tricks and bad jokes just to make her smile were flooding in her mind.

“It suits you, sweet tooth”

She just smiled widely, little wrinkles forming in the corner of her eyes, she took a little distance from you to watch your features better, grabbing your shoulders and squeezing them, looking at you with a purple gleam on her eyes, she did this when she was excited.

Your eyes pulsated with light too, a smile was seen on your face as you started jumping.

Without a second thought, you hugged her tightly, wrapping your legs on her waist and your arms around her neck, that made her lose balance but your magic quickly caught you both.

You laughed for minutes, resting your head in her chest, she was brushing her fingers in your hair while humming.

“You must be proud of me now.”

You sat, straddling Agatha’s waist, your bodies floating together around the house, energy reverberating around.

“Oh (y/n), I have always been proud of you.”

Agatha sat a bit too so she could reach your lips and you leaned to join her in a slow and tender kiss.

This one was longer than the last, after you both lost your breath, you left each other's warm while sharing loving glances.

Softly, you grabbed Agatha´s hands and started lowering yourselves down gently until your feet touch the ground.

You were still lost in her eyes, so she was the first one to break the silence.

“Now, dear, help me clean the mess you made”

She tapped your hand and squeezed your left cheek.

You knitted your brows confused.

What mess?

You looked around.

Ah, that one.

To your bad luck, you weren’t the only ones floating around the house, but the decorations, books, and everything that was near you floated too.

“Oh, well”

You moved closer to the witch and she closed her eyes to receive a kiss that never came, so she opened her eyes again.

“That’s your problem now, mentor.”

You were nowhere to be seen, but your voice could be heard in the house, surely you were hiding in a room where you were partially safe.

Agatha chuckled and rolled her eyes while started putting everything in place, with her magic of course.

"Oh (y/n), there is no solution for you."

[writers-worst-nightmare]

Kittens (Keith x reader)

Song you are singing

Warning(s): A TON OF CUSSING, reckless driving, got lazy at the end, Keith loosing one of his lives

THIS IS A REAL LIFE AU WHERE THERE IS NO SPACE OR ANYTHING AND THEY ARE ON EARTH

Fandom: Voltron

Word Count: 1,510

Pairing(s): Keith x reader

Genera: chaotic fluff

A/N: this is basically a Voltron version of “no braincells“ but I added a twist to make things more interesting

Request are always open!

Keith stared at the tiny kittens surrounding him, he froze in place and looked up to you as a plea of help witch was rudely declines when you started snickering before bursting out into laughter. Soon the whole crew joined in on laughing at Keith with a bunch of kittens. Pidge was snapping pictures and uploading it to their Instagram, Lance was recording a tiktok, Shiro was trying to get the cats off of Keith, Hunk was laughing, and you where adding more cats to the pile on his lap. “Y/N DON’T ENCOURAGE THEM!” Shiro scolded. You rolled your eyes before grabbing a small black and white kitten and placing it on Keith’s lap. The crew had decided to meet up after band practice and stay at your house. Little did they all know that you fostered animals, you had a couple of dogs and Birds but you mainly fostered cats cause they look so fucking cute.

“But it fuuunnnn!” You wine, only making Hunk laugh even harder until he was literally on the ground laughing so hard.

“They are kind of cute…” Keith muttered as he stared at the cats and back at you and then back at the cats.

“Why don’t Keith and I go to get some cat stuff at the mall, you three can make yourselves at home by the way!” You called as you dragged Keith into your car and hopped in the drivers side.

“Oh no…” Keith muttered as he stared wide eyed at you starting the car.

“What?”

”Please don’t tell me—“

”Oh, yeah I am driving!”

“LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!”

You locked the car doors and started to drive on there highway. Keith relaxed a bit as he thought that you where going to be normal

Big mistake

As soon as you saw all the muscles sink into the car seat you smirked and pulled up a radio station. Since Keith hasn’t been with you in the car before (for a good reason since everyone that has let you drive a car was gotten sick) he didn’t know that you LOVES music. Probably even more then you loved anime (which was saying something).

The fuck? Hold on Bitches got beef but don't wanna fight me Quit all that barkin', ho, bite me Bitch Hold on

”What the fuck is this?” Keith asked as he started to lean forward before the song started and you higher Ed the volume all the way up

Bitch, you fat, need a tummy tuck (Yep) You dropping diss songs, man, bitch, get your money up (For sure, then)

”It is called ‘go best friend’ and it is awesome” You answered as you rolled down your window and started singing along to the beat of the song and speeding slightly.

If you 'bout it, then run it up Used to be cool with this bitch, but she mad that I'm coming up

Keith hesitated softly before pulling up the lyrics on his phone and starting to sing along slowly. Afraid of what would happen next. You turned right and got on the off-road. Keith stiffened as he has heard one to many times what happens when you go off road and onto the dirt paths that you have most likely made yourself.

You a thot, you gon' suck it up I got a white bitch in the club, wanna pump it up (Woo, woo)

You started speeding even faster the before and Keith was prepared for the worst. Looking for a pencil and a piece of paper before settling on a anime journal that you had and a pen

Fuck a speech, I'ma sum it up $hy on the track and you already know she gonna fuck it up (Ayy, yeah) Bitch need to worry 'bout a bag I'm rocking these shows, and that's why she mad (Aha)

”I am going to give Lance my fuck you energy, Shiro my Hot Topic shirts, Pidge my suicidal thought, Hunk my fuck boy energy, and y/n my outmost hatred.” Keith started to say as he wrote out his will.

“Oh come on I am not that bad of a driver!” You pouted, looking away from the road and staring at Keith. Keith widened his eyes and grabbed the steering wheel so he could drive.

After this diss, you goin' out sad Bitch, you not bougie, you don't got no class (Bitch) Turnt in the booth and I'm piped off that gas Spin on yo' block, then we hitting the dash (Shoot, shoot)

”The last time you said that Pidge ended up in a flicking tree!” Keith argued, holding back the urge to choke you out, you rolled your eyes and elbowed the emo boy out of the way to take control of driving

It's still love for you, though But, bitch, I'm 'bout to get on your ass (Haha)

You started screaming the lyrics and Keith’s heart seemed to be going backwards as he grabbed his phone and gripped it tightly in his hands before button the record button.

$hy gotta potty mouth You wanna talk shit? Bitch, let's talk 'bout your body count You stink, throw your body out Tryna hang wit' the kid, I'm the life of the party now (Yeah)

He stopped the video and sent it to the “why do we still exist?” Group chat that consist of the gang

-character development Sasuke sent a video-

Non-binary owl: WORK IT Y/N YEAAAH

Sapnap but better: oh no…

Panda dude from beastars: have you written your will yet?

-character development Sasuke sent a picture-

Character development Sasuke: already got it written out

Won’t shut up about how bisexual this man is: I GET FUCK YOU ENERGY?!

Sapnap but better: I GET FUCK BOY ENERGY

Non-binary owl: can we all collectively agree to play/sing WAP at Keith’s funeral

Your lil' sister look up to me (Yeah) Bitch, you can't rap and you really not touching me (No) Just like a virgin, lil' bitch, cannot fuck wit' me And I never been pussy, bitch, you know what's up with me (For sure, then)

Won’t shut up about how bisexual this man is: As long as I get to do the dance

Panda dude from beastars: NO ONE IS PLAYING WAP AT ANYONES FUNERAL

Panda dude from beastars: Look Keith you are going to be fine

Why this bitch wanna pop shit? We was just cool, now this bitch wanna act like a opp bitch (The fuck?)

“What happens if I go off the edge…?” You wonder out loud, Keith looks up at you with a panicked expression.

Oh, she mad she can't stop shit Said that my breath stink 'cause I'm spittin' that hot shit (Hot, hot)

“NO Y/N DON’T GO OFF THE EDGE! THIS IS NOT FUCKING MINECRAFT!!” Keith lectured as he tried to roll down the window but silently cried to himself as he realized that you had child’s lock on.

Quit all that barkin', lil' bitch, and come bite me Bitches got beef, but they don't wanna fight me (Wait, wait)

You ignored Keith and smiled up yourself as you almost ran over some ducks

Turnt to my music, but swear they don't like me You got my number, ho, FaceTime, Skype me These hoes wanna be me I'm on your radio, soon I'ma be on your TV John Cena, bitches can't see me (Nope) I'm goin' up, and it's hella fans wanna meet me (Hey, haha)

“WHY DID YOU ALMOST RUN OVER DUCKS?!” Keith screamed as he plastered himself against the window.

Bitches don't get me Bitch, why you hatin? You could've been goin up with me (For sure, then) Spear on the bitch like she Britney You could dissed any bitch, but instead, you gon' pick me (Okay, the fuck?)

You did a wide turn and Keith practically flew in the air, he got up off the floor and cursing the seatbelt for failing to protect him against your ruthless grasp.

Make a bitch wanna hit me (Ayy, ayy) Bitches be cap on my name, the shoe did not fit me (No, it didn't) Show these bitches no pity (Yeah) These bitches wanna be friends, admit it, you miss me (Go)

Keith peered over the dashboard thanks to him now being on the floor and distantly saw the mall “YESSS WE ARE ALMOST THERE!!!!” Keith exclaimed as he got exited ready to leave this hell hole that mortals calls a car

Wrap up the beat like a doobie I don't give a fuck 'bout opinions, you know I'ma do me (Hey, hold on) Bitch, you a gnat, you a groupie Told that lil' bitch it's some snacks, and we pulled up with Scoobies

you lowered the volume to one as you pulled up in the parking lot and slowed down the car before parking somewhere close to the mall. You didn’t even look bothered to the fact of your reckless driving while Keith was looking like a whole tumbleweed fell over and hit him in the rib cage.

[zippityzero]

Introduction post bc i forgor i never made one LMAO (updates randomly ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ)

clearly, i have forgotten to do a proper introduction of my existence, so here it is! this post is long, so yeah- apologizes on it ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ //Were new to systems and lacking much knowledge of it and all. We appreciate it if you point out our mistakes! It’ll help us a TON with learning!! //Mark: : :+🤎. //Jonah: Normal typing+📻 and mixed hearts. //Alt Mark: !! !!+🖤/❤. //Zero: // \\+🤍. -This blog is a multi fandom blog, so expect random stuff happening. -The host of this blog is weird as ever, and their mood's are highly questionable a lot. -This user has multiple personality's, so please excuse their personality switch up's and add on one's. They cannot control nor stop them self from it. -This user forgets stuff on the daily, and processes certain things/events slowly, so be patient with them a bit. -This user prefers to not have much of loud audios heard from time to time, they've had multiple bad events to now be sensitive to loud noises. So if you send a link or anything with loud noise's, please give them a head's up before they watch it. -This user tends to meme stuff often, please expect it to happen at some point. -This user lacks the amount of sleep due to having insomnia and all, so expect them to to either pass out, zone out, black out, or fall asleep randomly from time to time. Usually takes them a few hours to wake up again. -This user has phantom pain and phantom senses, so please try to not cause much triggering to it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ People you might see from me (not in doodles for most tho): SleepyDexpy_ (Main Host) .\SleepyEteled_Artsy/. (Main Host) .\SleepyArtsy_Eteled/. (Alter Host) SleepyEteled_ (Twitter+Tumblr Host.) _SleepyMii_ (Co-Host, Gacha Club Co-Host.) MushroomFroggy (Normalist, Gacha Club Host.) RacoonBee (Normal, Gacha Club Host.) PenPen (Normal, Gacha Club Co-Host.) Eteled (Optional Host.) Ghost (Optional Host) Vibrant/Jammer (Optional Host) Nicknames you can use for the Host: -Dexpy/Dex. -Sleepy. -Ghosty. -Mushroom. -Bee. -Pen. -Mii. -Vibe/Jam. -Artsy. -Eteled. -Banana. (please don't question, if you saw my Twitter then you know) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sleepy and Dex's ref sheet's !!:

.\SleepyEteled_Artsy/. sona info dump: -Sleepy cannot fly that high since they have fear of certain height levels + have weak wings. The limit they can handle is someone's shoulders, sometimes head. -Pronouns: He/Him, They/Them, She/Her (optional), Squeak/Squeaker (optional). (Goes to every sona except for the Squeak/Squeaker, that one only goes for Sleepy!!) -Very squishable and squeezy fella. Will not do any harm. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Some questions I thought would exist at some point: Q: How old are you? A: I will not give a genuine answer other then being a minor. Q: Is this a safe space for anyone except for P3d0's and all? A: Mhm! Q: Do you take requests? A: Sort of? I'm not sure, I still am trying to improve with drawing so at the moment it'd only be Eteled, WDY AU's and sona related. And would be doodles and not full body depending on my art block and motivation to draw/doodle. (I only draw bald and circle hands privileges at the moment tho, sorry!) Q: Are your asks open? A: Why, yes they are! Their always open, unless on certain events tho like April Fools and some other. Q: Do you do QnA's? A: Yes, I do in fact do QnA's from time to time if I feel like it! I might draw a reply to most of them, might not, depends on motivation and art block. Q: Are we able to ask about some stuff/info of your AU's? A: Mhm, you are able to, buds! I have no issue with it! Q: Are we able to ask for some HC's from your current HC tag's? A: Yeah, you could ask anytime! I might not have any in mind at random time's tho, so please expect that! Q: Are we allowed to use your AU/HC tag's? A: Yes, you are allowed to use my AU/HC tag's if your posting something related to them, but please don't claim the tag's as your own and credit me or tag me on it! Q: Am I able to tag you in certain posts, idea's, tag game's, ect? A: Yeah! I don't mind it! :D

Q: Are we able to tell you most of our HC ideas for your HC tags, and can they be added too? A: Go ahead, your able to send ideas of it since I am curious on it! And depends on wether it’d fit them or not. If it fits some of them, then those ones can be added. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My WDY AU Tag's (most of them don't contain any content yet!): #wii traveled you (for my Wii Traveled You/WTY AU) #wii gummied you (for my Wii Gummied You/Gummied/Gummie AU with Tord who made the designs!) #wii ghosted you (for my Wii Ghosted You/WGY AU) #server crashed you artsy (for my Server Crashed You/SCY AU) #wii apped you (for my Wii Apped You/WAY AU) #wii natured you (for my Wii Natured You/WNY AU) #wii experimented on you (for my Wii Experimented On You/WEOY AU) #wdy au madness (for all of my AU's at once) My WDY HC Tag's (+symbols and emoji's, the symbols are for when one of these HC post's have a specific HC on the list be shared with another HC lists): #normal hc's artsy (for the normal WDY+Minus WDY HC's) {emoji: 👀 symbol: (!) } #chaotic house hold hcs artsy (for my Chaotic House Hold/CHH HC's) {emoji: 🧍‍♂️ symbol: (@) } #au team hc's artsy (for my AU Team/AUT HC's) { emoji: ☕ symbol: (-) } #siblings hc artsy (for sort of Sibling related hc's?) { emoji: ✨ symbol: (.) } #artsys hc arcs (for all of them at once) <- Not all at once yet since I still haven't added this tag to all of them. #sleepys head canons (for my actual WDY head canon stuff) Normal tags out of WDY: #jonahs aggies (for when i do aggie stuff) #jonahs whiteboards (for when i do whiteboard stuff) #jonahs ibispaints (for when i do ibispaint stuff) #artsys rambles of chaos (main tag) #🤍i am a chalk..or bug!🤍 (alternate tag) #artsy answers (main tag for when i answer asks) #💙am i bug answers!💙 (alternate tag for when i answer asks) #tired blog updates💙 (for when i update my blog/pinned and all) #artsys supremacy images (oh go d this old memories HELP, just where i store all my supremacy tokens) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -This is a list of what you can use to the host/user of this blog:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ mental stuff and all to keep you company, help you, and ect (please follow this moot): https://beetroot-merchant.tumblr.com/post/674201859013181440/lah-disputes-i-decided-to-create-a-masterpost

[catboygretzky]

best stucky fic recs pwease

Okay, disclaimer, these are all like five+ years old (which is the best Stucky era, imo) and definitely not the only ones I enjoy; these are just a few in my bookmarks on ao3.

In no particular order besides the order I bookmarked them and under a read more because there's a shit ton of them (really, it's a lot):

- hold me until we crumble; Not Rated, 23k

“Sam told me you were watching Antiques Roadshow,” Natasha says, shaking out her hair. “I assumed it was a national emergency.”

- despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained); Explicit, 72k

“They really didn’t want the mask to come off.” Hill thumbed through the scans, and pulled out a film that she then handed over to Sam, face mostly expressionless but for the flat line of her pursed lips.

Sam accepted the film and held it up to the light, angling so both he and Steve could see it, squinting at the outline of the Winter Soldier’s skull, and the blips of unnatural white that showed up, God, in his brain, not to mention about half his teeth, plus the mask, with its thin protrusions—

“Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”

Hill’s face was as unmoved as ever. “Like I said. They really didn’t want it coming off.”

- family means no one gets left behind or forgotten; Teen, 11k

“Why did you think I wouldn’t like you for being gay?” Steve asks gently.

“You’re Captain America.” Eli’s got his teeth clenched and is resolutely looking ahead. “You stand for truth and justice and the American way. You stand for American morals. You stand for…” he shrugs awkwardly. “Not people like me.”

Steve blows the air out of his cheeks slowly, trying to figure out how to keep the anger out of his voice so Eli doesn’t think it’s at him.

Or, Steve comes to terms with his new world, and gains some children in the process.

- Mistake on the Part of Nature; Teen, 1.3k

Steve takes in Bucky's betrayed look and Sam's confusion, follows Sam's gaze to the pile of mangled fruit in the trash can. Sudden comprehension fills his face.

"Oh," he says. "Bucky found out about bananas."

In which an American icon is mourned. But probably not the one you're thinking of.

- Swear Jar; Teen, 1.5k

Bucky isn't the only troll in the future.

OR

Steve has a Swear Jar and he makes the Avengers pay up every time they cuss.

- Barnes & Rogers and the Goddamn Truth; Not Rated, 19k

There are three well-known facts at Shield High:

1. The history teacher Mr. Barnes is a stone-cold terror, and it’s not even because he only has one arm. 2. The other history teacher, Mr. Rogers, is a mysterious enigma, and it’s something to do with the body of a Greek God and contradicting stories of his past. (They’re all rumours, anyway.) 3. Mr Barnes and Mr Rogers hate each other.

Bucky wouldn’t have it any other way.

- perfectly right wrong number; Teen, 32k

It all starts because Steve is too dumb to handle his smartphone.

A wrong number AU in which Bucky Barnes doesn't enter Steve's life (meaning: Bucky wasn't born until the eighties, but Steve is still Captain America) until Steve accidentally dials the wrong number. Wherein there is a lot of texting, some advice via Natasha and Darcy, a bit of pining, and a first date in an amusement park. Oh, and on top of being a disabled veteran, Bucky is a professional catwalker. Literally.

- The power of the right shirt (a.k.a. God bless America); Teen, 1.2k

"He just…" Phil trails off, mouth gaping. He is staring at the field outside the house, eyes glazed.

Clint sighs. "Yeah, he just ripped a log in two with his bare hands."

- To fill it up with something; Teen, 21k

A fateful encounter with Dr. Strange leaves the Winter Soldier transformed, and Bucky Barnes reunites with Steve Rogers in a most unexpected way.

“Steve brings the puppy inside, into the apartment that doesn't quite feel like home no matter how much he's been trying. He isn't used to being alone. Before the war, he always had Bucky, and his mother until her death. During the war, Bucky was there, too—and the rest of the Howlers, of course—but Bucky always meant home. (And well, maybe Steve's already got a name for the puppy in mind)."

- build it bigger than the sun; Teen, 10k

“Yeah, because nothing says heteronormative like living in Dupont Circle for two years and wearing skin-tight shirts to hit on hot airmen when you go running in the morning.”

“Look, I know you’re being sarcastic but I really don’t get how no one picked up on that.”

Steve and Bucky try to work out their relationship. The Avengers keep getting in the way.

- Memories Circle (Like Birds of Prey), Teen, 32k

Everything seems to be going right, Steve's fighting with his Commandos, they've saving lives-- until Steve falls from a train, is taken prisoner, and turned into the Winter Soldier. Meanwhile, Bucky takes up Steve's mantle as Captain America, and thanks to Zola's experiments, he gets dropped into a whole new time, only to cross paths with a Steve who doesn't know who he is anymore.

Essentially, the events of CA:TFA, mild mentioning of Avengers, and CA:TWS but with Steve as the Winter Soldier and Bucky as Captain America

- The Gentleness That Comes; Mature, 9k

Steve Rogers never really views the things he had to do to get by before the War with any sort of shame or embarrassment. People ask him for his opinions on modern issues in interviews, but Steve has gotten good at talking around those types of questions. Fury insists that there's no way to answer them without casting a shadow of controversy across the reputation of the Avengers, and that's the last thing Steve wants.

But then a sex tape is released featuring Tony Stark in bed with another man, and Steve can't stay quiet any longer.

- salt for the sea; Mature, 7.5k

Natasha comes home with intel regarding the fate of the Winter Soldier; Steve leaves to go and avenge Bucky Barnes.

“It's a list of everyone who was involved in his death, and a rough timeline of everything that happened beforehand,” she tells him.

“And the notebook?”

“I explained what they did,” Natasha says, “The blank pages are for you to explain what you do to them.”

- Lone Cat and Samurai; Teen, 8.4k

"We lost Kitten America sir!" Junior Agent blurted out. Then turned an unlovely shade of purple. "I mean, Captain America. Who’s a kitten. Because magic. Sir."

- Waiting To Prove You're Not Alone; Explicit, 41k

Months after he woke up on the banks of the Potomac, when a reporter mistakenly assumes Steve would disapprove of homosexuality being as accepted as it is in the modern day, Steve accidentally snaps and unleashes his real opinion on the matter... and with that, a secret he's hidden for over eighty years.

When that secret comes looking for him in New York, Steve can only hope that he can get a second chance at saving his best friend, even if it means keeping his heart in check.

“Yeah, back in my day it wasn't tolerated, and because of that I knew from the minute I figured it out, that I’d never get to tell my best friend that I loved him, and sure enough, he died without knowing that I’d been in love with him for a decade."

- I'm Not Sick (But I'm Not Well); Mature, 30k

Steve Rogers doesn’t meet Bucky Barnes in the 1930’s. Instead, Steve meets him April 17th, 2012.

Well…sort of meets him.

In actuality, Bucky had almost hit him with his truck.

Or: The fic where millennial Bucky Barnes nearly runs over a freshly thawed national treasure, and what Steve Rogers did to adjust to modern NYC during those two weeks before the events of The Avengers.

- pure as the driven slush; Explicit, 11k

He should have worked it out sooner. But then, Steve always was a sneaky little bastard—had to have been, just to survive this long.

For the SteveBucky Fest prompt, "Steve is quite experienced while Bucky's never gone beyond second base with anyone".

- Let's Be Exposed and Unprotected, Explicit, 5k

Bucky’s pretty sure he should be into getting fucked through the floor while walls explode around him like in that Mr and Mrs Smith movie that Clint loves. But he likes it like this. He likes being on his back with Steve looming above him, big and naked, blocking out the rest of the world.

- Man of Steel; Explicit, 6.7k

It’s like Steve looked at his metal arm and thought ‘Challenge Accepted.’

- 5 Times Steve Got Arrested and 1 Time They All Did; Teen, 4.9k

What it says, 5 times Steve Rogers ended up in jail (with and without Bucky) + 1 time all of the Avengers got arrested with him.

- the best of you; Teen, 16k

Bucky is on a mission when he gets the call.

They tell him that Steve has been compromised.

[The story wherein Hydra captures Steve to create a new weapon. Bucky, alongside the rest of the Avengers, come together and work through the fallout.]

- pull apart the dark; Teen, 79k

Steve's unending faith in his best friend was beginning to look less like hope and more like fantasy. When they'd caught the Soldier – in a fire fight that still gave Sam nightmares – the only thing the man seemed to recall was how to hit exactly where it hurt.

Four months later, Barnes still refused to speak English. Refused to heed anything but Steve's voice.

So, all in all, it was not a great time for Hydra to attack New York. All in all, Sam really wished they'd just killed him, instead of turning Captain America into a baby.

- Not Another Supersoldier Fantasy; Explicit, 8.9k

Bucky finds a popular sex toy modeled on Captain America's own anatomy. Well, isn't this just perfect? Because even after all this time, he still hasn’t seen Steve’s supersoldier cock. But apparently in this day and age anyone with $29.95 can get a decent replica. The unfairness of this is of galactic proportions.

- the blood of the covenant; Teen, 7.5k

Steve has a "thing" for hot water.

Or, Sam Wilson adopts Steve Rogers.

- Mighty like Love, Mighty like Sorrow; Teen, 19k

After freeing himself from the Russians' mind control, Bucky is left at loose ends, drifting through the decades. Still, he's in no hurry to take up Nick Fury's offer to once again fight the good fight -- especially not when Fury has the nerve to put some imposter in his best friend's old suit and send him out to fight against Chitauri.

- Read Me Like a Book; Gen, 1.5k

In which Bucky accidentally becomes a book collector, because when the universe gives you a million biographies about your boyfriend, you go bookcase shopping. And then he finds out about The Grenade Incident, and the boys actually talk about it like actual adults. (Somewhere, Sam sheds a proud tear.)

- the broadest stroke of color; Gen, 16k

Sarah Rogers always loved Steve's hands.

"Your hands will do a lifetime's work," she'd say. "Remember to do the work you can for those you love."

Almost a century later, Steve does just that.

[The story wherein Steve draws comics for Bucky to help him recover his memory. Through a series of events, the issues are leaked, and Steve finds himself reviving the Captain America comics. He still isn't sure how that happened.]

- If You're Loved By Someone (You're Never Rejected); Teen, 9.4k

You’re fifteen when you realize why you stare at Bucky’s lips more than normal when he laughs and when he says your name. You lean into his shoulder when you walk next to him and when you’re sick you don’t fight off his soft hands. You tease him, he teases back and being around him is so easy you forget what it was like to live without him. You can’t remember life pre-Bucky and it scares you.

- Unusual Weather; Explicit, 8.7k

Bucky’s been at the Avengers Tower for three weeks before he finally gives in to Steve’s gentle coaxing and Stark’s cheerful waving of fistfuls of circuits, and lets them scan the arm.

It doesn’t go well.

- this city bleeds its aching heart; Explicit, 35k

The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.

- Good Boy; Explicit, 13k

Bucky is still adjusting to life with the Avengers, and Steve is willing to do whatever it takes to make him feel comfortable. Increasingly, though, what seems to make him comfortable is strangely intimate.

Surprise, Steve! You're a gentle dom and Bucky wants to be your pretty pet!

- Brooklyn; Teen, 8.8k

"Captain America, what's your stance on gay marriage?"

Everyone knows that, by now. Everyone but Bucky.