#me doing what i do best aka complain but idc

[suncchaser]

All of this!!

The excuse that Regulus was brainwashed is pathetic because, if that’s the case, then we can excuse Walburga and Orion and literally every single other pure-blood supremacist in the series because these beliefs were passed down from generation to generation. Were they all brainwashed and therefore not responsible for their actions?

Refusing to believe that people are beneath you and should be ostracised from society at best or killed at worst based on their parentage is not something that is hard to understand as wrong and abhorrent. The Weasleys are proof of that, so are the Potters and so are Sirius and Andromeda, his own brother and cousin.

I also HATE the argument that Sirius had a support system to guide him away from his beliefs while Regulus had none. SIRIUS DID NOT NEED HIS FRIENDS TO TELL HIM BLOOD SUPREMACY WAS WRONG, HE KNEW IT HIMSELF! We see him wanting to defy his family BEFORE he’s sort in Gryffindor and before he befriended James, Remus and Peter. Stop insulting and diminishing his intellect and character.

people who say "sirius should've stayed intead of running away!" (usually the regulus stans) don't understand a single thing about sirius' character and it shows.

fundamentally, sirius doesn't exist for the benefit of/to please others. he exists for himself. he cares about himself, his closest friends (mostly james), and his godson. that's about it. don't bring regulus into this. "his little baby brother" said brother is literally half of the reason sirius got sick and left. because he couldn't stand all the blood purity mania.

stop infantilizing and woobifying regulus. if sirius was morally sound enough to know that blood purity was bad, regulus should've known better than to willingly believe that shit. the fact that he didn't - and continued to believe in said blood purity to the point of willingly joining a terrorist organization dedicated to cleansing the wizarding world of "blood traitors" - is not sirius' responsibility.

~

[rosezii]

F1 Drivers and why I like them (in no particular order)

This is coming from a fan that got into F1 in 2024, primarily through 'Drive To Survive' and dear-ao3's insane F1 2024 masterpost

Sir Lewis Hamilton

Hes the only one I knew from before I became a fan, 7-time world champion, best of the best, an activist, super cultured, smoking hot, seems pretty chill, great fashion sense, did I say smoking hot?

Also one half of the most compelling dynamic in f1 aka brocedes, i heard hes making a movie about this like ??? Im invested

Idc which team hes driving for im literally always cheering for him

Nico Rosberg

World champion, dad, britney, obsessed with Lewis Hamilton, very interesting in commentary box, all around cool guy

Other half of f1s most compelling dynamic

Alex Albon

Cutie patootie, also survived the red bull second seat curse for a whole year and a half so hes the most talented imo (ik checo has also done it - idc)

hes also born in the same year as me so that makes me very very biased (also delusional!!!)

Appendix-less!

Carlos Sainz

Also appendix-less!

Smooth operator

if f1 was a kpop band he would be my bias for just being my type of guy

Seems chill, handsome, funny, love his friendship with lando, his rivalry with oscar and his (faked?) dynamic with charles

Im so sad he got kicked outta ferrari but alas it was because of THE sir lewis hamilton so i cannot complain too much

Kevin Magnussen

I liked him on DTS, i think hes a girl dad?

I liked Haas as a whole, such a shame they crashed and burned for like 6 years straight

This year hes driving petty and im here for it like yes this is the entertainment im want

Im also petty as hell so I feel kinship

You gotta be the force of chaos you want to see in the world

Daniel Riccardo

My poor little meow meow he made such a bad decision leaving redbull but Hes still in an f1 car despite it all and hes always smiling and has a positive outlook so yeah props to him

I hope he gets his red bull seat back one day

Max Verstappen, Charles Leclerc, Lando Norris, Oscar Piastri, George Russell

I just grouped these 5 because i have the same opinion on all of them, which is that they seem like nice chill dudes, and theyre all great drivers

I do wish ferrari would stop sabotaging their boy tho, isnt charles supposed to be their little prince or something??? Act like it

I really like charles dog leo, what a cutie

Also george russell's got great style, also i like him cuz hes the drivers union president

Fernando Alonso

Force of chaos force of evil what can i say i just like villanous men (we're on tumblr what do you expect)

Lowkey hoping his car is FAST next year so he can cause problems on purpose

Valterri Bottas

Drive fast, show ass, whats not to like

Honorable Mention: Gunther Steiner

Whyd you fire him bring him back he did nothing wrong

(he did in fact do many things wrong)

(I havent mentioned anyone else from this season because I just dont know enough about them to have any opinion or I dislike them)

[amarimeta]

The Television Academy watching Carrie Coon deliver one of the greatest performances of the decade: No

The Television Academy watching Carrie Coon act cunty in a soap opera: Yes

no because literally WHAT GOES ON.

gilded age mutuals look away if you must but COME ON. LETS BE SERIOUS. i looooooove gilded age i love nothing television i love this stupid soapy show about my beautiful princess with a disorder and the entire town who hates her. HOWEVER. you (the academy) need to look me in the EYE and tell me carrie’s performance as bertha russell is the best she’s ever done. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING. i LOVE bertha. but she is NOT the crazy girl of all time. she is NOT the bravest girl on earth. she is NOT nora durst.

“ace you have to think about the strength of schedule” THE LEFTOVERS WAS ONLY EVER NOMINATED FOR ONE EMMY. AND IT WAS FOR ANN DOWD GUEST ACTRESS IN THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD (and his identical twin brother). LIKE THATS A WHOLE OTHER CAN OF WORMS. the show was never nominated. the writing was never nominated. the directing was never nominated. i have no love for the man but justin theroux was never nominated?? CARRIE?!?! WAS ?!?! NEVER ?!?!? NOMINATED ??!?!,!?!?! after the performance of HER lifetime, MY lifetime, every single person who ever has or ever will live’s lifetime???

do not click the read more unless you want me to complain about strength of schedule for each season. i get very specific i’m sorry.

SEASON 1 - 67th primetime emmy awards

BEST DRAMA

game of thrones season 5 (WINNER)

better call saul season 1

downton abbey season 5

homeland season 4

house of cards season 3

mad men season 7 part 2

orange is the new black season 2

haven’t watched house of cards or homeland (to be fair i DID watch homeland s5 for miranda otto like five years ago), haven’t watched oitnb in YEARS, haven’t gotten to mad men season 7 OR downton season 5 yet. HOWEVER. i do not care. take downton s5 off from there. mind u i bought the downton collectors boxset two weeks ago i have all the dvds i have a stupid ass bell TAKE IT OFF AND PUT THE LEFTOVERS ON THERE!!!! or take homeland season 4 off idc what happened on it but why is tracy letts a main character on a show nominated YOUR WIFE IS BEING ROBBED TRACY!!! DEFEND HER!!! wait i just realized i hadn’t even mentioned game of thrones season 5 being the winner. i can’t say anything at this point i just have to laugh.

lead actor jon hamm won for mad men again idk what happens in s7 i haven’t even finished season 1. as a newsroom and better call saul enjoyer i will not advocate for either of them to be removed so get rid of kevin spacey and put theroux up there. would carrie have been nominated as lead for s1? i think she’d be supporting no? in which case take emilia clarke off for game of thrones I’M SORRY I’M NOT HATING BUT WE NEED TO BE REALISTIC HERE. IT IS SEASON 5 GAME OF THRONES. YOU ARE NOT OUTDOING NORA DURST. supporting actor christopher get your ass up there!! jonathan banks get your ass down here. i will sound like a jonathan banks hater in the rest of this post and i’m not we just need to be serious here as a collective. mike ehrmantraut could never do the leftovers. sorry. (jim carter nom for carson on downton is actually for me personally which i think is beautiful).

mother’s mercy winning for best directing AND best writing is insane. game of thrones we will never forgive you for many things. (unrelated how did bcs five-o get a best writing nom and not any other episode of season 1. mike lovers have too much power in our society. we need to kill them.)

SEASON 2 AKA THE STRONGEST SEASON OF TELEVISION YOU CAN EVER WATCH IN YOUR LIFE - 68th primetime emmy awards

BEST DRAMA

game of thrones season 6 (winner)

the americans season 4

better call saul season 2

downton abbey season 6

homeland season 5

house of cards season 4

mr. robot season 1

AGAIN. GAME OF THRONES WINNING BEST DRAMA LIKE YOU ARE NOOOOT SERIOUS PEOPLE. YOU ARE JOKING. americans and bcs <33 downton season 6 i’ve heard awful things about you. homeland season 5 HEY that’s the season i watched!! yea get rid of game of thrones and put the leftovers in there and MAKE THE LEFTOVERS WIN. IMMEDIATELY.

lead actor idk get rid of kevin spacey again. lead actress tatiana maslany i know you were working overtime im so sorry unfortunately i’m taking this away from you. please understand i’ll give it back to you for a different year but this one is carrie’s. btw im replacing claire danes on homeland in terms of nominations. supporting actress i cannot believe i am taking this away from maggie smith but we are giving this to either ann dowd, regina king, or amy brenneman. MIND YOU REGINA KING WON FOR SUPPORTING IN A LIMITED SERIES SO I THINK WE SHOULD GIVE HER THE DOUBLE WHAMMY but if you want to argue its ann dowd i will not fight you. also get maura tierney off of that nominations list NOT HATING ON MAURA simply hating on the affair. we need to be serious. supporting actor i’m taking down jonathan banks and kit harrington sorry putting up christopher eccelston and kevin carroll. i’ll let the academy decide who wins but it IS between them two. no one else. sorry.

battle of the bastards winning both writing and directing again hey guys not sure if i’ve mentioned this before but i hate game of thrones the television show that cannot hurt me and isn’t real!!! and also THAT SEASON WAS NOT GOOD. directing wise we’re getting rid of the door for game of thrones and writing wise we’re getting rid of battle of the bastards CONGRATULATIONS THE LEFTOVERS SEASON TWO EPISODE EIGHT INTERNATIONAL ASSASSIN YOU ARE THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER!!! THE BEST EPISODE OF TELEVISION EVER!!!! YOU DID IT!!! YOU HAVE NOW WON BEST DIRECTING AND BEST WRITING YIPPEE!!!!

SEASON 3 (my beloved) - 69th primetime emmy awards

BEST DRAMA

the handmaid’s tale season 1 (winner)

better call saul season 3

the crown season 1

house of cards season 5

stranger things season 1

this is us season 1

westward season 1

sorry handmaid’s tale you are not keeping the win. you can keep the nom i guess. get rid of stranger things for me. anyways the leftovers season three you ARE THE FATHER!!! (but also hiii better call saul season 3)

lead actor i like sterling k brown so he’s keeping the win but once again goodbye spacey and theroux enjoy your nomination. lead actress elisabeth not only are you not getting the win i might take the nomination from you too. sorry. carrie coon needs it more. we need to be on the right side of history. supporting actress ann dowd won which i can’t BE TOO UPSET ABOUT but im taking millie bobby brown’s nomination away and giving it to amy brenneman like i’m sorry but we need to be serious here. supporting actor i’m taking jonathan banks and mandy patinkin down and putting up christopher eccelston and kevin carroll. OBVIOUSLY.

AND OF COURSE ANN DOWD IS WINNING FOR BEST GUEST ACTRESS LIKE. alexis bledel sweetie i’m sorry but that award is not yours. but please take a picture with alison wright for me i would enjoy that.

best directing went to handmaid’s tale offred. i’m sure it was a good ep. anyways taking that down and taking stranger things ep 1 down and putting both most powerful man in the world and book of nora. book of nora is winning probably. (also taking down bcs witness and putting up chicanary. like come on here folks). best writing ALSO went to offred yea sorry. it can stay up i guess i’m just taking down stranger things ep 1 and putting up book of nora which will be winning. (notice how chicanery was properly nominated here).

well that’s all from me!!! so happy that everything i just wrote actually happened!! i can’t believe the leftovers won so many emmys BUT IT WAS WELL DESERVED!!

[netsage]

my thoughts on the new HYUNA song drop and the various scenes in the song

1. Mizi rebels (no surprise), but interestingly, is being kissed multiple times by Hyuna to kind of drag her out of her discomfort/thoughts, some type of new ship or platonic relations??? (i’m not sure, but if that’s the case, im open to it, seems like an another great arc and more character development in one way or another)

2. Mizi’s hair was cut off, leaving behind past memories (that’s great! (she looks hot, im not complaining) question is, does this also mean she has moved past from her grievance for Sua?) (does this mean that possible romantic indication with Hyuna? if so, im happy for her for moving on, im sure Sua would too tbh…)

3. Hyuna has like defo a some sort of love hate relations with Luka, cuz he literally killed her brother (HE IS INSANE) (i officially dub him as like some scheming yandere with like manipulative tendencies, cuz she payed attention to him once and he goes like “give me more” anddddd she doesn’t cuz she needs to care for her sibling and he gets jealous and just starts a fight and so happens to “accidentally” push him or something and he’s dead. bro casually looks up to Hyuna and says “woops, i didn’t mean to” and from there on, she just feels absolutely rage and just thinks he’s insanely brainwashed in some way)

4. Hyuna’s group is bonkers and they all just flirt for fun (head canon she’s actually bi/les) anddddd she saved mizi cuz she saw her and was like “omg, my possible partner fr? i’ll give her everything (refer to the scene where Mizi and Hyuna fought like the alien bots or smth and like was infiltrating what i think was probs a base of some sort + like little hugs and kisses (those were so cute)), fuck you luka”

5. Ivan and Till is expect to fight in the next round… and slight foreshadowing, someone hits till’s face, does this possibly mean that he is eliminated in the next round????

6. (continuing from point 5!) but Ivan is said to have feelings for Till, so another possibility is that they try and do a duet, like what Sua and Mizi did. (will they be successful or end up the same fate as the both of them? tragic, but it may happen)

7. another scenario is the Ivan ends up the winner, and Hyuna and her gang comes and pull Till out from the situation (aka just like Luka and Mizi round), then it would be like crazy for Till to handle since Mizi would be there. (or alternatively, Mizi tries to convince Hyuna to save Till cuz Till is her friend (LMAO friend zone fr), and it worked, in which same shit goes down.) (but question is, if this case happens, will Ivan try and report the case and find Till? meaning which, he rebels more (ANOTHER REBEL IVAN ARC (just a teeny bit) ?) and eventually sneaks out to search for Till (his beloved lmao). )

8. but a possible scenario too in that round could be that Till gives up on singing and Ivan punches the absolute shit out of him to force him to sing (or vice versa cuz Till is mad that Ivan is just pitying him or that he’s just giving up so easily just so he can live)

9. OR ANOTHER SCENARIO (there’s so many im sorry😞) is that like Till don’t care (just like when he did in the round with some side character 😭😭), and then screws over Ivan, Ivan just goes like “i wish you the best my liege” and then explodes and Till just either “idc” or “what the fuck have i done”

10. WHAT IF TILL HAS LIKE LINGERING FEELINGS??? (i lowkey headcanon him as like bi but he has this one case of internalised homophobia, refer to like the cover they made with like ‘MY CLEMATIS’ ) cuz like Ivan tried saving him yk, so what if, like he comes to regret that afterwards (head canon, when he’s stressed he feels extremely nauseous to the point he puked like multiple times and got beat up for being like high maintenance, which would explain more about why he’s so feral dog angry at the aliens all the time) (and also cuz like they did like a lot of fucked up shit, any sane human would grow to hate them tbh, so it’s valid, but i like to think that it gives him more reason to want to rebel them even more out of more spite and just plain hatred for what they have done to like the contestants and Mizi (especially her))

11. also back to the topic of luka…. (i hate this man, but his song is so good 😠😠😠), will like he come and find Hyuna? like lowkey Luka and Hyuna interaction fr??? (probs like confrontation in a sense, and then one of them like goes feral or something cuz obvs someone is OBSESSED with like Hyuna 😞😞😞)

ALSO, referring back to point 5, Till gets eliminated and yk the whole “win or die” process, and Ivan just turns into the next Mizi (vengeance or smth) or he just mourns, and refuses to do anything more (REBEL ARC maybe)

another thing i would like to add on from point 3 is that i imagine the three of them just discussing ways to possibly get out of this situation alive, and just was blissfully happy for like awhile cuz they’re all together in this and up till the day Luka (the insane bastard) killed her brother, she actually admired him for like his skills (in terms of able to perform and stuff)

I MAY BE WRONG (but it’s my thoughts and i would like my fellow alien stage enjoyers to give me their insight too, cuz rn i’m just ranting about my little expectations 😞😞)

[blackvail22]

the day i lose 150lbs i will rule the world fr

ill b too powerful

(this sounds so like degrading but im being so honest. ppl wont view me as pretty as a fat person! maybe ill b prettier when im skinny butyeah)

even if i achieve the 140lbs mark i still wont be as thin as society would want me 2 b but idc thats what i want to be and i will achieve it

the motivation that i can get there is the fact that my doctor told me that because my sinuses and my tonsils r so problematic that it was preventing me from having a deeper sleep aka not being able to burn calories and it actually makes me gain weight

getting my tonsils removed will be actual hell but all well. its for the skinny life ig!!!!

im genuinely so tired of being in my body because i always think of myself prettier than i really am for some readson and then when i look in the mirror im so much uglier than i imagined LMAo i think thats why my self esteem is so low... i just forget what i look like sometimes and then im not what i romanticized myself to be

lmao i do that with my life too..

idk

lmao

im like wanting to be one of the people that have a glow up after high school and ppl always wish they never bullied

idk i

really want to forget about school but i really dont know.

i mean im not *that* bad butthere are so many different things that i would want to "fix" besides my body proportions

skin redness

a face not as round

maybe a tiny bit thinner nose (my nose as gotten bigger as i gained weight so i think this is fixable)

idk i didnt think much about it at the moment but after we went over my ct scan with my doctor he left the officcve to get me to another room to whatever whatever but the scans were left up and my sister like made fun of the way my face was constructed?? idk she was like "why is your nose crooked? can i use this as proof that your head is moosh? LMAO evven your eyes r farther back"

i know she didnt mean harm but its starting to affect me now. its like conformation that im the ugly sister and its so much to have to like..... process? because she even said that i looked like my mom. and i knew that, but acting like her and looking like her is something i want to distance myself from. i want to distance myself form the fact that i can be my own person and not my parents. i want to be able to acknowledge that i came from them and they gave me life, but idk... its hard for me to do that for some reason? like whenever i think "they gave me life" another thought passes by and says "i didnt want this life"

i dont mean that in a suicidal way, but its just... idk. i genuinely feel like complaining about how hard life is atp is literally so fuckign stupid because there are ways to make it better and things i can do to make it not as bad... like there are a lot of things i complain about that i could fix (e.g. my weight, wanting to do more things than the same thing every day, etc.)

idk.

this is a long ass rant, and i dont even think you read them anymore. if you do, i hope youre doing well. im sorry for how much i complain. i am a really negative person deep down, even though i try my best to be positive.

[rikinet-moved]

u fell asleep again huh? lmao i keep telling u to sleep at a reasonable time but u want my company So Bad baby 😮‍💨 /srs . hwvr i can’t rlly complain abt u staying up late tho bc i’m like a cat with separation anxiety when ur not around so i’ll take what i can get 😵‍💫 ANYWAYS i’m gna make u take naps with me so we can cuddle n i’ll be the big spoon which gives me a reason to cling to mi príncipe azul aka u 💘 goddamn i’m rambling again but can u blame me?? i’m in my s*ppy soft girl hours n i was looking through my screenshots of our first msgs from the day we met so i started crying a little which is like ew . bc i’m not that pretty when i cry but idc!!! ur worth every tear for me ): i’m so in love with u baby 🥺 i never knew it would lead to where we are rn, idk how i got u interested in me back then but i’m thankful to my past self for talking to u when i did bc now ur mine n i’m never ever letting u go <3 i love u sooo much my precious boy ): <33

- the one n only mrs nishimura

sorry hh :< admin was exhausted . again but ur right i do 🥲 n im like a cat w separation anxiety too bhsbd i don’t believe in naps!!!!! maybe i’ll pretend to be asleep /hj but that sounds nice :( i like going thru our old texts n posts n conversations w each other bc it brings back good memories :’) im an ugly crier too so we can cry together ☝🏻 i’m so in love with u too :c im always thankful that u interacted w me first when u did, best decision you’ve ever made 🤕 /hj ily so much mwah mwah

[pushpinsheep]

I wanna randomly talk about 3 terrible things I remember regarding the US job market because this is my blog and why the hell not? 1) Before I transitioned I got shot down for jobs that I could easily do... because I was female. Most of these people just straight up told me when I asked why I wasn’t being hired. The most baffling instance imo? Working at a pool store. It included being called out to do chemical work on other people’s pools. The manager’s logic? I wouldn’t be able to lift the heavy chemicals because I was “female”. (pre-transition misgendering yay) Never mind the fact that I was in school for my EMT cert which required I be able to dead lift 150 pounds as a mandatory prerequisite. Never mind that I was doing a farrier apprenticeship and worked as a groom with horses. (rip my back) Never mind that I grew up on a farm and worked with livestock my entire life. I was a “lady” and therefore weak to this galaxy brained skid mark. I can’t speak much for after transition regarding the US because I moved. 2) My dead name looks (and to some sounds) black. There’s really no other way to put that sadly. I specifically used black in this case because I often find people surprised for the same reason over here in Europe, aka the land of assorted crackers. It’s a stereotype based entirely on the spelling my mom went. The name itself is Irish. When applying for jobs I was always ticked that people never seemed to call me back. It wasn’t until after the 5th interview in a row where the person shaking my hand remarked I “wasn’t what they expected” that I complained to an older friend of mine and she told me it was my name. I thought that was nuts and decided to try a little experiment just to see if it actually made any difference. I switched to my white AF middle name for job applications and... it did. The most noticeable being I stopped hearing that remark and consistently got more calls for interviews than before. I still looked like untoasted white bread, but whoever was hiring apparently just stopped at my name and built a whole ass assumption from there. Hate it. 3) Those stupid personality tests. My mom didn’t believe me when I said this was, by far, my biggest hurdle in job hunting. Name and gender stereotypes have nothing on the sheer insurmountable ableism that’s packed into these tests. I printed answer keys and put them in a binder sorted by the company designing the test and still didn’t pass a lot of them! asdfghjkl One thing I didn’t realize until after a PetSmart manager showed serious interest in hiring me was that your application is digitally thrown in the trash if you don’t pass the personality test portion. No joke. If you fail it the manager straight up doesn’t even see your application in the system. If you do poorly you’re marked as being a risky candidate, but at least they can still see it. And the margin for what passes, esp as a good candidate, is dismal at best. Props to this dude for explaining the system to me. This was the first guy who actually knew what was happening and didn’t assume it was a glitch. I might talk more on this later because hOLYHEcK it sucks. Maybe I’ll compile the keys and post em here for everyone. idk. And yeah that’s it for now. That’s the whole post. Do with this what you will idc. I’ve wanted to say this for a while and just... never did for some reason. I got more to talk about, mostly about being trans and job hunting, but that feels like a post for another time.

[witchysleepingbeauty]

Hi, Reversed✖️ here. I really would like to hear your opinion on how to sort out this difficult and sad situation

I can't deal with it alone anymore, especially to analyze it objectively

So um my parent, in front of a guest, took out their anger on me ie screaming, totally losing it, cursing me out coz I took a half min to fetch smth (I was already doing smth else for them) aka huge, nasty reaction. This was def not coz of the delay in the errand btw

Started ranting real ugly, getting louder and angrier (in front of the guest yay me right?😄) Ik my parent (P) has underlying issues (pain in their body which they always refuse to get treated for at a hospital whenever I suggest so (and if I offer to massage or bring an Ice pack I get passive aggressive snide remarks for 'pretending to care and be helpful'))

Any way screw that. My point is Law-related. so in this ugly rant (in which ofc parent brings up shite about me, personal effing shite), they shouted how I have 'no goal' in life bla bla among other things

Per EIYPO, is this a reflection of their own limiting beliefs/issues (eg lately all they do is complain with venom abt how things never turn out okay and how 'everything's messed up' etc. So it definitely could be how they feel)... OR is the, somewhat humiliating rant, an indicator of my inner reality and deep buried assumptions?

Tbh l want to cry, especially coz ik they're being like this coz of bodily pain, and ik they're not feeling great being like this either

Sadly, I'm getting triggered. Up until last year, I used to be in a very dark place. I'm working on my self now, and for the most, I'm better equipped to deal with my personal issues (the Law helped me realise how assumptions, thoughts could help me see a point in living; aka it gave me hope). Now even limiting time with P isn't enough. I tell myself idc what they keep saying about me, but I can't stop them (I mean if I talk back, it gets worse yk? If I try to explain, I hear this classic one "Oh so YOU'RE perfect right? You're the only perfect person in the world"... Yeah, it gets old real fast)

It's lame, upsetting. I don't wanna fall in the deep end again. Btw I've always been the one who's listened to P when they want to vent or wanna discuss their interests (even if I'm not that interested, coz ik what it's like to not have anyone interested in ur likes lol). Point is, is their behavior (the screaming outbursts and insane cussing + sometimes I do shudder at their scaring-the-yk-what outta-me expressive hatred of my existence - which they themselves have acknowledged btw aka I've heard them tell others how I've made them negative and unhappy... 😐), So is their behavior reflective of their own assumptions about me OR is it MY deep-buried assumptions reflecting in them?

I don't get it. On many damn occasions they've told me I'm the one who's at fault for 'everything' and, you'll like this one, "how I deserve being treated like this"... I've even asked them what I've done to them, but my P has communication issues (which I've taken as smth to learn for myself so I'm happy I could be mature enough to realise what's healthy and unhealthy communication, work on this and be better), which means, unfortunately, it's tough to get a straight answer back other than defensiveness, accusing me of criticising them bla bla nvm that's the old story (and by old I mean literally old), so idk

Like... Eff it all huh? I try to focus on myself and different aspects of my life, minimize confiding stuff about me, learned to not rely on them too much but idk. It's starting to affect me a lot, you understand right?

As I type this, I realise I'm REALLY hurt by P's shouts and their tone of NOT love. I forgive them for their rants, but how can I feel it in my heart that they don't hate me?

Working on your self concept and learning to love yourself after years then being treated like this insanely messed up my mind. What's the point? I'm getting all those old feelings back. It was so hard to yk, stop living in the dark. Eff me ig. Anyway, EIYPO, mb I gotta persist more on setting boundaries? Allow myself my feelings then move on?

Thanks so much, love

Reversed✖️

Please, nothing abt moving out. I already have distanced myself, unconsciously I now realise, from them. I'd really appreciate it if I could understand how to feel better regarding this situation by changing my concepts, or assumptions or at least understand why I'm so affected

First of all I am so sorry you have to go through this every day, I know you’re a beautiful person and it’s not your fault and you do not deserve it.

Now let’s talk about the law. Everything you see in your reality is a reflection of your own inner world. You create everyone and everybody, nobody can have a belief that you haven’t created them to have.

Also I see a lot of limiting beliefs in you “my parent is in pain and they take it out on me”, “my parent has communication issues.”

I know it’s not the easiest thing to deal with but if you want to change the situation you need to stop attaching these labels to your parent and instead changing them to something positive.

I am not going to tell you it will be easy because we are talking about years of trauma and abuse, however I do want to encourage you to not allow them to treat you like that, physically speak up and also to really consider moving away from that person.

I hope this clarifies some things and I wish you the best. If there’s anything else I can help you with feel free to message!

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Bakumatsu Kazama Mini Drama “Winds blowing on the street at Night”Translation

UPDATE: it is very, very, very likely that I will be bumping the CXM drama from Otomate party 2017 to november. don’t want to rush+feeling a bit lackadaisical cuz there a few sentences that I just don’t get+there are several terms I’m having difficulties phrasing. At about 65% done.

----------

Translation of the Hakuoki Bakumatsu Mini-drama for Kazama from the Hakuoki Bakumatsu Character CD for him.... aka the Warriors of the Shinsengumi game which I still haven’t gotten around to completely beating... I think? meh idc if that is the right name or not.... JP is  薄桜鬼 キャラクターCD 幕末花風抄 風間千景. 

This was translating using two different Chinese translations.... final edits will be done after comparing to the audio though I’m not sure if I’ll bother fixing this post as I intend to make an srt file... Also I think half my posts don’t show up under the hakuoki tag for some reason.... or disappear than reappear.

enjoy...? 

also should i mention the video is up now? Link to post here.

Hakuoki Bakumatsu Kazama Drama “Winds blowing on the street at Night” [or Night Winds blowing on the Street?]

Translation by KumoriYami

Kazama: Hnn. What does that bastard Amagiri mean? To actually say that I am similar to humans, and that I am interested in the Shinsengumi?

Shiranui and I are not the same./I am not like Shiranui.

The Shinsengumi is a group of people claiming to understand the pride of warriors  yet call themselves samurai despite how rusty [tainted/corroded? actually says rusted ] their swords are.

To actually say that I am interested in them? What a stupid thing to say.

Ha.

There is no need to get upset about this. If Shiranui hears this, [he would] laugh about how serious I am in about denying it/laugh at me for being so serious in denying it. If it were Amagiri, it would be time for him to start preaching again.

Truly [how] beautiful, this evening of sunlight and shadow?/Isn't this beautiful, this evening of light and shadow/sunlight and shade/Isn't the sight of today's sunset turning to dusk beautiful?

Forget about what Amagiri said and go drink./Go drink and put aside what Amagiri said.

After coming to the capital [check for if it says Kyoto], I have rarely had the opportunity to go walk (through town?)/ about like this because of my duties/responsibilities.

Walking in this direction to see the temples and shrines lined up, and this interesting scenery,  it can be said that there is a peace and quiet [atmosphere]/is this what is referred to as peace and quiet? [check audio for if this sounds like a question.]

Although humans are stupid/humans themselves are stupid creatures, they can unexpectedly create this kind of atmosphere/they were able to create such a view/what they build is not bad

No, I will acknowledge this matter/it should be said that this talent should be recognized/acknowledged.  

However the talent in/for creating such beautiful scenery is not appreciated, and only ends up being destroyed by fighting/and is easily destroyed by fighting, which is why humans are so stupid/foolish.

The Shinsengumi is also like that.

Hijikata: Stop. Report/Identify your domain and name.

Kazama: Che....

Hijikata: Sure enough, it's you. What exactly are you doing here?

Kazama: Whether it's Ikedya Inn, or Nijō Castle, you're always appearing before me, truly what an eyesore.

HIjikata: Well, there is no harm in us settling the dispute from Nijo Castle here.

Kazama: Originally it was because you were not killed that I went into the streets to change my mood/ headed to the streets for a change of mood. [I give up with this sentence. looked at 2 Chinese TLs and this is the best I came up with.]

Cutting you down will allow [me] to vent.

There is not much difference between your skill and the man named Okita, it's only at that level /Your skill is similar to the man named Okita, however that's all it is [all there is?].

Hijikata: With only one exchange, you know of Souji.  Unlike you who only knows how to cut people down without justice/righteousness/ He's not like you being someone without justice and can only kill people, Souji's sword contains his pride and soul!

Kazama: Do not bark if you are unable to accept a single blow. You've only had one exchange with me, what do you know about me?

Hijikata: Don't know anything. Also don't want to know!

Kazama: What's wrong? This was just getting entertaining for me now.

Hijikata: Your skills/abilities are very sluggish, [and] frankly it [they/you] bores[bore] me to sleep.

Kazama: Then I can help you so that you will never open your eyes again.

Hijikata: That's something that I should be saying!

<they fight a while but soon stop due to an interruption>

Hijikata: hey, drive the cat away.

Kazama: If you bothered/unhappy/upset with it, kill it. It just so happened to come over to us. What a great guy. Entering someone else's life and death struggle/fight to the death [yet it] can be so carefree/content/pleased with itself.

HIjikata: You're from the/of the Satsuma Domain/one of the Satsuma. What did you mean by "stop turning humans into oni?" Is that advice from the Satsuma?

Kazama: It's my advice to you. Because you [plural you... so maybe 'you guys'] are pitiful.

hijikata: Pitiful?

Kazama: Can't even understand this?/To actually be unable to understand this?

Hijikata: Why are you sympathizing with us when you're with the Satsuma/As someone from the Satsuma, why are you sympathizing with us?

Kazama (speaking to himself/thought):The Satsuma and Choshu's alliance is only a matter of time/will be acting together soon. If the Shinsengumi and I end up in a conflict, it is unlikely the Satsuma will complain. However/But Amagiri will never stand idly by/stay silent, and listening to his preaching[/him harping on] again would be annoying.  [check audio for Sat-cho]

Hijikata: Don't reply by staying silent!

Sheathing your blade/sword.... what the hell are you doing/what exactly are you doing?

Kazama: I'm not interested. Today I'll let you go.

Hijikata: Let me go? I can't let you off.  And I'm not letting you go. [I think 2nd sentence is 'I'm not done with you']

kazama: If I kill you now it would be possible to [take] revenge/It would be simple to kill you here now, but/however what follows afterwards will certainly be troublesome/annoying.  

HIjikata: annoying/inconvenient/troublesome?

Kazama: I will answer you/will answer your question . First, I am not a member of the Satsuma Domain. I only am returning a favour owed by [my?] clan, [and?] for the time being that [means] temporarily lending [my] assistance to the Satsuma.

Hijikata: Clan?

Kazama: I don't have to explain it to you/I don't ow you an explanation.  I am not acting with loyalty to the Satsuma. That's all it is. But/however if I am in contact with the Shinsengumi, people/someone will gossip [roughly says chatter endlessly]. And if you choose to now deal with me under the Satsuma, it will also not end well.

hijikata: Indeed, if I cut down one of the Satsuma's people, I would probably bring problems to the Aizu.

Kazama: As for why I show you mercy, it's because you guys are indeed/truly/really miserable/pitiful.

Hijikata: What are you saying!?

Kazama: Insignificant humans are unable to use that type of serum. In the end, you [plural] trying to to wasted effort to receive my oni clan's strength is a wasted effort. [/deluded if you think you can obtain the strength of my oni clan oni strength / you attempting to receive the power of the oni will be result in a wasted effort.] [can't decide on wording of sentence so wrote down w/e. "power" can also be used to replace "strength"]

HIjikata: Oni!?

Kazama: Without even understanding this, trying to break the boundary between humans and oni is truly stupid/it is foolish to attempt breaking the differences in species of humans and oni, which is why you are indeed pitiful/pathetic. [check audio for humans and oni]

Kazma: Is the shogunate, which you're giving you life away to, really worth it/Is the shogunate worth sacrificing your lives for? I don't know what else to call your situation but sad. 

Hijikata: You say we aren't aware of [the/our] situation/able/don't know how to judge/examine our situation/read the flow of the times?

Kazama: That's right. Like how a bird knows the wind, similarly to how fish follow currents, if they are unable to judge the situation, they will fall to the ground or sink. That's what happens when times change/This is what the world demands.

Hijikata: If you cast aside your belief/convictions to [simply/just to] move forward/forge ahead/when facing difficulties, you may as well go and die!

Kazama: Belief/conviction?

hijikata: To live is to carry out one's convictions/beliefs./Life is about carrying out one's own beliefs!/People live to carry out their beliefs!

Kazama: How/Truly stupid.

Hijikata: I thought you'd slice/cut this cat without hesitation/I thought you'd immediately cut/slice this cat to death.  

Kazama: Is constantly killing people at random all that humans are skilled at? Humanity only knows how to kill to fulfill their own selfish desires for the sake of their insatiable greed... it's endless/there's always a fight/always fighting [???]. Why can't you live without killing your own people? Such stupidity cannot be described with words/Other than stupidity, there are no other words to describe this.

Hijikata: If we don't do that, we're not going to make it to the end/We can't live without doing this./We don't have a choice but to do this until we die.

Kazama: Indeed stupid. Can't you realize your own stupidity without dying/[needing to] die? [are you unable to realize your stupidity unless dying/you die?]

Hijikata: The weak should/will die. However even if we have to eat dirt to survive, [we will] continue pushing forward until we ultimately succeed! [i should go replay hijikata's route for this sentence lol. i'm pretty he sure says something like this... though i can't recall it right now....also don't feel like checking]

Kazama: This [conversation/discussion] is over./That's it.

Hijikata: Wait.

Kazama: Is there something else?

Hijikata: Is Kodo-san really not with you? [need to check if it's -sensei or -san here]

Kazama: Why would you ask about this?

HIjikata: I asked you a question.

Kazama: You aren't going to recapture Kodo./You're not still thinking about recapturing/getting Kodo back.

Hijikata: You can't/Can't you give a straight answer?

Kazama: I don't have to answer you. Chizuru herself can come and confirm it./ If Chizuru wants to confirm this, she is welcome to.

Hijikata: How could I have let her go to the person who's been trying to/going to kidnap her.

Kazama: One day you will know everything.

Hijikata: Hey! Stop/stop right there! [Literally says stop for me! but that sounds weird]

Kazama: You bother me again and I will not hesitate to strike./You keep bothering me, and we will fight.

Hijikata: Vanished/Escaped/Ran away..... You should hurry up and go home. Kyoto at night can get very dangerous.

Kazama: Shinsengumi.... Are they still planning on using Yukimura Kodo? They completely ignored my advice/didn't heed my advice at all, really what a bunch of fools/idiots.

Chizuru is undoubtedly their trump card to force Kodo into continuing his research experiments./Chizuru must be being kept by them to force Kodo into continuing his research./Ultimately Chizuru is leverage against Kodo to have him resume his research.

They don't understand Chizuru's true value/How could they know of Chizuru's true value [check audio for Shinsengumi being mentioned here].

Indeed, I cannot let this go.

When the time comes, Chizuru must be taken (forcibly) to my side/Any opportunity to take Chizuru must be seized without hesitation, even if that means attacking the Shinsengumi/killing members of the Shinsengumi.

end....? dun dun da dummmm

----

When I do go making the subtitle video... I’ll go and check the name of the cd. will probably use a mix of the translation and literal pronunciation of that Japanese... Also, I’m just going to tag these as ‘Hakuoki Bakumatsu’ for categorization purposes for now since I don’t really care for the Warriors of the Shinsengumi game as I only completed Saito’s route.... as I’m not particularly fond of games without story that require grinding like that...

Btw, is the way I translated Kazama condescending enough...? I try to match the tone of words used in the English translations of the games when doing my translation... though I’ll admit that this is really only a concern for things that I have audio for. 

In regards to the other Bakumatsu dramas.....I believe that the Saito drama was already translated (Wind Bell),  as was Souji’s (Riceballs) and Hijikata’s (Conversation over Tea in the moonlight). At the moment, I don’t know if Heisuke’s mini drama was translated (saved as image posts unfortunately so I won’t be checking it for now as it’s a pain when trying to read words that I don’t understand but i’m pretty sure it wasn’t), so at the moment that just leaves Bakumatsu dramas for Shinpachi/Yamazaki (what i think is that anyway. saved as image) and Harada’s (i think it’s with Kazama?) for this (no timeline atm for these) until I feel like checking those pics... I think? Also I’m not entirely sure that these are all Bakumatsu dramas since there is another set of drama cds that share a similar looking name.... not that I care right to figure that out right now lol....

forgot to mention: there’s one for Chizuru but she’s the only one talking in it... so iuno if i’ll bother with that cuz it’s 9 min long.

[lansizhuis]

Do you have any weilan drama hcs vs weilan novel hcs? Also what are your thoughts on the zhenhun japanese audio drama news?

as you already know i lowkey screamed about this ask yesterday hahahaha and i had to pause and take some time or else im gonna cry that im having zhenhun asks hahahaha (and i got your ficlet prompt!! imma write it soon hehe)

I’m gonna go with the easiest question first - my thoughts on the upcoming JP audio drama. Man, I was so skeptical when I saw that post on weibo and admittedly just scrolled past it. But then I saw some weilan personal accts I follow that shared it so I had to check JJWXC but couldn’t see it. And I had to bombard my friend to check it on their app despite her not being in the zhenhun fandom lmao (i owe her my first born’s hair lol) and the rest is history akdaskjf OKAY so I was honestly hoping maoerfm would take it and despite being very unlikely - i was also hoping zhu yilong and bai yu would still voice weilan given that they didn’t need VAs when they did the drama and also I love the two of them. I also really was hoping to hear the iconic lines as is from the novel (thank you xiao bai for recording yourself saying the confession scene on your own jfc long ge it’s just 2 words from you please keep up haha). BUT YOU KNOW WHAT - I’M TAKING WHAT I CAN GET FROM A NOVEL PUBLISHED WAY BACK 2012. I’m super excited for it! I hope they get really good VAs  and idc if they’re new or unknown so long as they capture novel!weilan very well. And I was informed that JP audio dramas aren’t like CN ones where there’s an online platform we pay for but they’re more on physical copies they sell and well looks like I’m back to JP shipping world now haha

[NOTE: WILL BE NSFW-ISH]

DRAMA HEADCANONS- well duh first of all that crap ending doesn’t exist hahahaha- weilan is def canon and istg kunlun taught past shen wei how to bj like all that lollipop references esp when they met with all that hair?? kunlun was past shen wei’s first and only lmao - this makes things interesting now bc present shen wei with zhao yunlan would def know the best ways to pleasure that man-child bc he already knew from the past hahahaha- it’s already obvious but while shen wei is reserved and all controlled in public, zhao yunlan always managed to make him snap and eyyy zhao yunlan ain’t complaining with that aggressive hot papapa (thirsty fckr lol)- the entire SID are their adopted children and the “kids” always run to shen wei when zhao yunlan threatens to cut their bonus- but also the “kids” are def way more scared of shen wei aka the infamous black cloaked envoy and runs back to their shameless man-child of a dad bc hey as much as zhao yunlan threatens them, he’s never really cut their bonuses and he’d save them in an instant anytime anywhere despite his teasing (shen wei though? they’d all get legit scolded and punished for bad moves haha he’s def the disciplinarian)- technically, ever since the secret got out between weilan, shen wei had been staying over on the apartment in front of his *coughs* bc 1) someone needs to make sure zhao yunlan doesn’t die of poison and bacteria from his pig pen of a place; and 2) zhao yunlan is there (already canon but let’s make it that he cooks and prepares his stuff everyday)- again, that crap end didn’t happen and they both have a happy ending

NOVEL HEADCANONS- one of my all-time favorite stuff about them is when shen wei embraces his ghost nature and goes all dark on zhao yunlan that he’d sometimes whisper his dark fantasies like “i just want to lock you up” but zhao yunlan is a thirsty fckr and the biggest shen wei apologist so he just goes “das hot babe”- or when they’re in the middle of papapa and shen wei goes “sometimes i just want to eat you up to make you a part of me forever” and zhao yunlan responds with a grin “yeah? you should start with my pretty, pretty eyes” and shen wei just snaps back to his controlled self bc wtf zhao yunlan you’re not supposed to find that hot??? are you okay???- all their SID children (yes they def adopted that ragtag team lmao) has walked in on them doing it at least once - da qing complains the most bc he ends up seeing them the most (”i dont wanna see your dumb ass” “u fat fuq, no one told you to come in - and my ass isn’t dumb, it’s perk! right xiao wei?)- zhao yunlan is so mouthy to his complements to shen wei (he already does in canon but hey let’s amplify it) and everyone in the vicinity esp the SID team wretches whenever he goes “xiao wei! my love, my heart, my soul, my kidney, my toes, my -” “STOP ALREADY”) and shen wei is blushing and asks him to “ah-lan, please don’t be so shameless in public” “so in private, it’s okay?” and eyyy shen wei actually really loves it (spoiler: SID doesn’t)- once, zhao yunlan cuts everyone’s bonus so he can afford this expensive af gift to shen wei (only wang zheng knows but she’s a sweetheart so she only tells sang zan but sang zan accidentally spills to da qing and well chaos ensured after that)- weilan is forever in honeymoon- zhao papa and shennong-bo as canon still doesn’t like shen wei aka their son-in-law and always tries to drag their son away from him “shen wei is the ghost slayer who’s an abomination” “you dont have all the facts” “which are?” *zhao yunlan snuggling to shen wei “i love him”- i actually really like gui mian/ghost face/the twin and i hoped he had a better role slash screen time bc c’mon!!! someone almost the same as shen wei??? all the shenanigans possible there esp since he’s a crazy ass and shen wei doesn’t like him lol and zhao yunlan just has his eyes mooning over his xiao wei- weilan would have so many kinks lmao with zhao yunlan’s shamelessness?? and shen wei’s own 5,000 year thirst and weakness against zhao yunlan?? please they’d have a veeeeery satisfying papapa life and it isn’t new that sometimes when they orgasm, an earthquake or some tsunami happens bc heyyy powerful god/ghost immortal husbands- it’s rare since zhao yunlan’s shameless but there will be times where shen wei does or says something and zhao yunlan is rendered speechless and blushes (lin jing and da qing has some recorded as blackmail material)- I NEED TO STOP HERE BC IM GONNA WORD VOMIT EVEN MORE IF NOT HAHAHAHAHA

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

HIStory’s ranked (no one asked, but here i go)

so i was sittin here, talkin to myself about the HIStory series’ and was like ‘hey, i should rank them’ (which i’ve seen a few other people do, but mines a lot more rambling than there’s because i can’t shut up lol) 

so here’s my views lol (ordered from worst to best, imo):

6) My Hero (HIStory1) -

probably universally acknowledged as the worst episode, and i’d be inclined to agree with the masses on this lol... not only is the tone and humour of this series so weird and disjointed, but the entire story line literally makes no sense lol?? it’s unclear who the audience should be rooting for (especially as it goes out of it’s way to paint our protagonist as really unlikable lol, not to mention the love interest is the dullest character ever conceived like ???), as well as this the ending feels completely unrelated and bizarre... 

i think this concept /could/ have worked if the guy the woman was inhabiting (which sounds weird without context, but like she’s dead lol) was somehow also inside his head? or if she got to see his memories or whatever & tries to adjust her personality to match the guy’s, causing love interest!dude to fall in love with the guy... (like i could go into more detail, i basically hav an entire au written in my head lol, but yh...)... that way, her letting go of him in the end would feel so much more well set up? especially if she was generally more understanding and likeable.. 

i think overall this series just fails in telling a decent story lol... & the cringe is even beyond what i can handle lol

5) Obsessed (HIStory1) -

people might be surprised to see this one so low down, especially since i know a lot of people really love this series (& if u do, no hate to u btw, ur allowed to like whatever u want idc), but i realllllly don’t like this series... like at all ...

the plot is weird anyway, which isnt inherently a bad thing, but then u add on the really bad couple and it’s just...... bad lol... like everything about their relationship is built on lies and deceit, and even more so than that it’s built on a lack of mutual respect and fundamental trust for each other! tall guy (i don’t know names soz) feigns memory loss in order to get closer to short guy (btw, the scenes with them being domestic were really sweet, & i firmly believe this could have been an alright series for the actors if the story line wasn’t so bad), short guy’s whole existence in that universe was a lie lol (like i know there’s no easy way to tell someone ‘lol well i’m technically from the future’ but still), then there’s the whole resolution at the end & it’s just so ??? frustrating lol!

nothing bugs me more than seeing conflict in relationships (on screen or irl) that could be solved simply by TALKING TO EACH OTHER GODDAMNIT & isnt lol... my other issue with this series is the fact tall guy 100% forced himself upon short guy in the tent & like we’re just supposed to accept it cos ?? he’s saying no and pushing away but actually he wants it because he loves tall guy ?? like fuck no i’m not accepting that lol! 

basically, bad & bizarre story & characters, & gross tropes just makes this hard for me to watch and enjoy lol... i think, like in my hero, this could’ve done with being a different story altogether lol... (maybe tall guy actually did lose his memory & he falls for short guy all on his own with no predatory intentions?? idk something like that)

4) Right or Wrong (HIStory2)

this one & my number 3 are very much tied tbh, but this one is just slightly lower just because i’m not as big into the couple as i know a lot of people are... & it’s not necessarily the age gap, cos i dont actually mind age gaps in pairings (just as long as the younger one isnt a minor, obv... and also i think any gap that’s 30+ years is a bit weird lol..).. i think my big problem with this is i dont really see why younger guy (again, i have no idea of any of these characters’ names lol) would fall for the older guy? like the older guy is obvs going thru some issues, and hasnt been taking care of himself or his kid properly because of them, but like we dont rly see a lot of why he’s a great guy? like we get the sense young guy is attracted to him, but like love is more than just thinkin they’re hot lol... idk lol this might just be me tbh i just couldnt see why he’d be interested lol

i did like the whole family side though, and showing how a man who was previously with a woman can still end up with a guy (bisexualityyyyy (or some variation of that thereupon)) is something you dont always see in media, so i thought that was pretty cool! (even if the ex-wife thing was kinda lame lol...) 

i think overall i see what this series was going for, and that it actually did an alright job in some parts... the biggest problem is that it’s kinda just forgettable lol... maybe that’s why people like obsessed so much lol? maybe it was a train wreck but ohh boy at least u wont forget it in a hurry lol!

3) Stay Away From Me (HIStory1) -

i’m a bit torn about this one, cos there are parts of it i actually really like (them going from rivals/enemies to being good friends to being more), and other parts i really didnt (the stereotypical squealing yaoi fangirl friend)... & tbh, i kinda wish this had just been a show about the budding friendship between the 2 guys... it almost feels too forced to me that they’re made to ‘fall in love’ when i actually think them both becoming less selfish and learning to respect each other as step brothers & friends is actually already a really great story (& i know that it doesnt fit with the whole ‘HIStory’ thing, but stories of platonic brotherhood/’bromance’ are just as important as gay representation... isnt a /substitute/ for representation, don’t get me wrong, but it’s always so beautiful to see decently portrayed non-toxic friendships between guys... ok this is a rant for another day tho shhh)

i think maybe why i like this one more than the other HIStory1′s is because kinda nothing happens lol... it’s not overly complex with weird unexplained magic things happening, it’s just a simple story lol... is it still tropey as hell? of course lol! but i think the ‘realism’ of the world really helps, and i def think this was incorporated more into HIStory 2, which i’m really glad about...

overall, this is a relatively harmless series & is actually quite sweet at times... the kiss is awkward as fuck tho (there, i said it lol...)... it suffers the same forgetability as right or wrong tho... 

2) Crossing the Line (/Boundary Crossing) (HIStory2) -

ok, so here’s a series i 100% love & totally agree with the hype around lol! i hav no interest in volleyball (or any sports tbh), but the way this show handles the friendships and dynamics between the characters is really well done, especially for a series that’s only 8 episodes long! i also really love that none of the characters really fall into any stereotypes (which is a great improvement from HIStory1 i can tell u lol), and are given the space to actually have some growth & nuance at times?! 

(nuance? in MY HIStory series?? it’s more likely than you think!)

the main couple have really amazing chemistry, and the way they get together doesnt feel too out of place or that it’s going to fast, it just sorta flows really nicely... even the side couple are pretty well done (though i wasnt that big into them on my first watch, just cos the whole overbearing older brother thing was kinda annoying... i liked them more as the series went on tho...)

i kinda dont have any major complaints? which is bizarre cos i always hav complaints about things lol... maybe my complaint would be that they all look way too old and attractive to be whatever teenage age they’re supposed to be lol... (but tbh that doesnt take anything away from the story so i’ll forgive them lol...)... i think maybe i wouldnt consider it my favourite because the story line didnt grab me like the number 1... but i really cant fault it in terms of what it delivers lol, legit such a well put together series!

1) Trapped (HIStory3) -

lol i think anyone who’s been following me for the past few months aren’t in the slightest bit surprised this is my number one... i just love it too much lol!

from the incredibly well written and well acted characters, to the interesting and engaging (even if a bit ridiculous) plot, to the beautifully told romance , it really has it all doesn’t it!!! & i think even if this wasnt an enemies to lovers thing (aka one of the most godtier of all fanfic tropes), there’s so many things going for this series that make it worth watching! i have a few complains about editing choices and a few bad trope plot points which were just unnecessary (plus the fact we missed out on a lot of background info on some major characters lol...), but like despite everything this series rly struck a chord with me deep down in my soul lol

i could go waaay more into detail (and maybe i will one day lol... tho not rn, i’m v tired), but the gist of the matter is: i really love trapped lol

(conclusion)

Even though i’ve complained quite a bit here, i am so grateful for the HIStory series’ for bringing really interesting, and a little mad, stories with gay characters and story lines, with a big emphasis on happy endings! there are so many lgbt stories/characters in things that end up dying or just have bad endings, which just sends this horrible message that lgbt people aren’t worthy of having happy endings, which is completely untrue! 

So i look forward to future HIStory’s, even if some of them are gonna be bad (& maybe none will live up to the trapped!shaped bullet firmly lodged in my heart lol)

fin~

[alexei-protection-squad]

My thoughts on endgame because I really need to write them

(DISCLAIMER 1: THERE ARE MAJOR SPOILERS (DUH)

DISCLAIMER 2: SINCE I KNOW THE USE OF COLORS OR EMOJIS COULD TAKE SOMEONE'S ATTENTION AND ACCIDENTALLY MAKE THEM READ THE SPOILERS I DECIDED TO WRITE EVERYTHING IN LOWER CASE AND WRITE IN ITALIC THE THINGS THAT MADE ME GO ADSDDGJFKTKL)

-at the start I was like yea they ain't gonna put all the stuff in the trailer in like 20 minutes lol

-boi was I wrong

-when the avengers reached thanos I was really confused because wat

-"i went for the head" @ thor I love u bich,,, i gon never stop loving u,,, bich

-then I was like ok fine thanos' purple ass is gone he's not gonna be the villain yea :)))

-boi was I wrong pt 2

-bruce banner learnt the fine art of self acceptance I'm proud of him

-the fact that scott came back like that makes me laugh and be pissed at the same time wth

-tony's daughter is the purest thing in the world and I'm ready to throw hands at whoever says otherwise

-unexcercised beer drinking thor that plays fortnite is extremely cursed and I don't think I deserve it

-natasha having an arrow necklace,,, ashdgn

-carol with that hairstyle makes me gay

-I absolutely loved all of rhodey's references

-Clint became an edgy emo kid and I'm not complaining

-kate bishop wasn't there. im suing

-hulk trying to seem strong af in 2012 and failing is a mood

-tony complimenting steve's ass I can't

-if that bitch aka loki came back to asgard is he alive?? is my favourite bitch alive??

-2014 peter quill was on screen for one (1) minute and managed to bless us

-cap saying 'hail hydra' made me think of that one series of comics and honestly? I approve

-cap vs cap in a nutshell: cap 1 uses bucky card and destroys cap 2

-@ the ancient stop trying to sound smart sis we know you use dark power to live

-guess what thanos is doing shit again

-nebula I love u

-I don't wanna believe natasha died to save everyone and how she fought with hawkeye for it shut up

-the whole thanos family complex was so well done

-thor talking with his mother again makes me soft

-rocket is still the sassiest bitch

-tony talking to his dad is just,,, marvel stop

-steve seeing peggy is even softer jfc

-everyone: omg we did it yea bruce snap and we're all gonna be safe :D

-thanos and nebula 2: its britney bitch

-hawkeye finally had the justice he deserves and proved the non comic readers that he's badass too

-nebula killing herself so easily is my 'fuck you' ultimate goal

-cap holding mjolnir im

-when everyone started appearing me and my best friend almost cried lololol

-tony hugging peter sgnfglljooip

-cap holding mjolnir

-cap was holding fucking mjolnir and beated thanos' ass with it do you understand how hyped was I during that scene

-the fight was so epic I think I'm not worthy of even narrating it

-valkyrie. thats it keep scrolling

-just appreciate pepper's suit you cowards

-tony

-he understood after his father's discourse how he could've saved everyone's life even if he could have lose his

-him using the gauntlet gave me such a weird feeling. He had in his hand what caused him so much pain

-pepper trying to tell peter not to cry and then losing it it's such good acting

-I'm not crying you are

-his funeral was one of the best if not the best part of the movie

-her daughter lost her dad and isn't even aware of it,,, god russo brothers

-"I love you 3000" I swear my eyes are sweating

-thor and quill arguing are my last two brain cells at 3 am

-ok listen marvel

-I love you but stop

-you really did that with cap huh

-thanks for letting him be happy after only 100 years very cool

-they,,, did the last dance,,,

-I'm a stucky shipper but idc they're the purest thing in the world fight me

-but seeing him old killed me do you understand that right

-I'm so mad he didn't give his shield to bucky

-Sam always was a background character and I understand that this could give a start to his tv series but why did he give it to him in the first place

-america explain

-marvel played with our heart, destroyed it and then didn't even give us a post credit scene? Are u ready to catch these hands yes or yes

-truly one of the best movies I've ever seen and most of the critics I have are more subjective than objective so it deserves a 10/10

-it's almost 2 am I should go to sleep

[maetaamong]

ship your mutuals with idols?! 💝

oof this is gonna take me actual yeaRS bless this is so soft tho

Note: I’m not gonna give you your bias just bECAUSE they’re your bias but … you can cross your fingers and hope

Other Note: Everyone gets one gif, my main squad gets a summary, and everyone gets a few sentences saying where you and your idol would most commonly be found.

The Main Squad

@howcaniwait - Day6 Young K

I’ve known you for like what… 4 years now ??? I like to think I know you fairly well. And my guess is that you’d do well with someone who you can joke around with but still occasionally be soft with. You definitely don’t need anyone who would be touchy touchy (PDA is a no for Charlie). SO I chose the one and only Special K himself. You guys would make fun of the other Day6 boys on like a daily basis and I don’t get clingy vibes from him so you wouldn’t have to worry about PDA.

Charlie and Young K would most commonly be found exploring new cities and alternating between taking aesthetically pleasing pics of your surroundings and shitty selfies.

@thedaysix - Day6 Jae 

Boo you’re the resident mom of our lovely little gc and I think you definitely have a good responsibility and motherly streak in you. Despite that you’re still down to steal 18 bananas and scREAM your lungs out at your favourite butter biscuit man. So I think you’d do well with Jae (not just cause you’d eat Texas for him). Jae is a bit of a dork and is more than capable of throwing cares to the wind and having a blast and a half. He can still reel it back and use his brain every once in a while though. 

Boo and Jae would most commonly be found either trying to trick Wonpil into thinking that certain English words have different meanings than they actually do, or running off to some random pet store and pretending to be interested in buying the puppies and kittens but actually just wanting to pet them all.

@undinefin - iKON Chanwoo

Like Charlie I feel like you would do well with someone pretty chill and down to just roll around in bed for hours on end. Chanwoo is a lazy boy who will sit in front of my big ass computer for days. BUT at the same time the boy is willing to go and have a blast and a half somewhere every once in a while. On top of that, the boy is cheeky as fuck. He will not hesitate to roast the other boys and have some fun.

The two of them would most commonly be found sitting at home, complaining about people and showing each other weird music, anime, and video games.

@01yoonjin - Seventeen Jeonghan

Nom you’re such a smart, fun, loving, cheeky, and caring gal. You have the biggest brain and an even bigger heart. You’re gonna go far my friend. You and Jeonghan are both quick witted but also lazy sometimes and would take some of the best naps together.

Nom and Jeonghan would frequently be found cuddling on the sofa at home while watching a Disney movie and trying really hard to stay awake as they eat all the snacks.

@astrayminho - Stray Kids Jeongin

Soft, pure sometimes, and ready to make some friends. Fath you’re so loving and fun, you always manage to bring a smile to my face. Your spelling can be atrocious sometimes but we all know its just cause you can’t get your words out fast enough. 

Fath and Jeongin would be the pair to spontaneously go to an arcade and have a pinball battle or try and prank Chan by changing all of the clocks in the house behind 6 hours.

@chuuyo - BTS Suga

Pretty laid back and almost intimidating initially, both Nic and Yoongs can seem a lil bit scary at first (at least in my opinion) bUT in reality they’re both excitable nutbars. With so much energy and love to share. (I’m calling you out on being an actual softie™, Nic)

Nic and Yoongi would be the couple to make each other spir of the moment gifts that they then try to play off as not soft when they give them to each other.

@sambashua - Monsta X’s Minhyuk

“because they’d be that punk couple who beats others up” - Sheep

Mir you’re… hard to pin down, my friend. You’re a bit enigmatic sometimes but overall are just the sweetest and most loving gal. You carry a cloud of happiness with you everywhere you go. Which is why I chose Minhyukkie for you. He’s a little strange but is so very loving and happy and beautiful.

Mir and Minhyuk would most commonly be found sprinting around public parks to pet dogs and escape birds all while having the best of fun and taking some of the cutest selfies.

The Squid Squad

@chipsandwaffles - NCT Doyoung

the second I saw that gif I was like aha thats it, thats the one for sheep

You’re just about the most devoted Doyoung stan I’ve yet to meet. You’re undyingly loyal, my friend.

Regardless of all of that, you and Dodo are both a complex mix of lazy and hardworking. Idc what you say, you work hard on you writing and create actual masterpieces. 

Sheep and Doyoung would just sleep from 4am-Noon on a daily basis and spend another couple hours just rolling around in a half asleep state. They’d also be that weird couple who would wake up at like 5am to go on a spontaneous drive to who the fuck knows where just cause they can.

@hyuckkks​ - NCT Haechan

Keet and Hyuck would most commonly be found scrEAMING over sth or someone. Maybe it’s a bug, maybe it’s cake, maybe it’s Jisung. Who knows tbh. They’d be that couple who were the best of friends before anything else and made fun of each other and their friends on an hourly basis.

@savvysayyss ​- NCT Taeil

I almost put in a gif of him in a vneck but decided to spare you

Sophie and Taeil would most commonly be found complaining about how “old” they are and referring to themselves as fossils. When in reality these two are soft and sweet as can be and can be found sitting side by side during car rides and giggling while showing each other photos of various sleeping animals.

@softperson ​- NCT Yuta

oof where do I even begin You are so whipped for Yuta, it’s almost ridiculous (I understand tho) You’re the best aunt and occasionally (I’m kidding ily) are responsible and honestly do give great advice. Yuta …. probably isn’t the most responsible bUT I feel like you could keep him from accidentally running off a cliff or sth (if you can control an all boys high school class I think you can deal with 1 Yuta). 

Shan and Yuta would be that weird couple who would drink wine with each other and complain about puzzles while simultaneously doing a puzzle at like midnight.

Also y’all are both nasty and dtf

@jaemms​ - NCT Jeno

San and Jeno can be commonly found curled up in the dream dorms sitting side by side while battling it out in Mario Kart or yelling at each other over what is the “right” way to play Zelda. Whether they’re exploring new places inside of a game, their own imaginations, or real life, the pair would be all smiles. 

@gijeon ​- Block B Kyung

Both Nana and Kyung are the type of people to glove up and fight the whole world for the people they hold dear to themselves. They would most commonly be found in the museums near their area. Whether or not they actually know anything about what the museum is talking about the two would have a blast. An art museum? They’re playing ”come up with a story behind every painting.” A history museum? They’re playing “pick your favourite time period to live in.”

@frosttyong - EXO’s Baekhyun

don’t punch me for not giving you Taeyong I had to give him to someone else

Baekhyun and Nat are both sinful as fuck, soft as fuck, and psycho as fuck. These nutbars would be commonly found trying to bargain their way out of having to pay $12 for a crappy band tee at a yard sale they stumbled upon. Neither of them have heard of the band and neither of them fit the shirt, they just want it for the giant unicorn on the front.

Den - BTS’ Jungkook

These two cheeky geniuses can be found at your local arcade somehow outsmarting and beating every game and challenge the place holds. The two would look like they were in the middle of a business negotiation while playing skeeball, while in all seriousness Jungkook just said that she could have his Twix if she beat him. She’s gonna win.

Punwiz - NCT’s Ten

PunBun and Ten would most commonly be found bouncing around an amusement park. In between walking to rides the two would be creating the worst puns inspired by their surroundings and telling each other weird jokes that only these two nutbars would understand.

Lin - Monsta X’s Kihyun

Kihyun and Lin both take some of the most aesthetically pleasing photos I’ve yet to see sO I think these two would go out on photography dates. They’d wander around in new cities, old cities, favourite cities, home cities, and more and just take pictures of anything interesting or funny or pretty they find.

That means Kihyun would be taking lot’s of pics of Lin.

@the-perfect-red-velvet - Stray Kids’ Bang Chan

My gal Sandra and my man Chan would be that constantly happy couple. You can either find Sandra being piggybacked around by Chan while he sprints up and down the halls of the JYP building or the two of them would be hidden away in their makeshift art studio (aka Chan’s studio) while Chan ruins the walls with paint and Sandra laughs and perfects her masterpiece.

@kpop-oppas-dream - NCT’s Jungwoo

Caite and Junguwu are a little shy sometimes but are amazingly hardworking. These two would be found, hand-in-hand, in cute little libraries. They’d be tucked away in a corner either reading, writing, or whispering happily amongst themselves. 

My Tumblr Gals

@smittenbyschmidt - NCT’s Taeyong

Aly and Tae would be most commonly found strolling around through parks and cafés looking like the most elegant couple ever while actuLLY they’re whispering about the cute dogs they’ve seen.

@cinnagyeom-roll - Got7′s Yugyeom

Gyeom and Yugyeom would most commonly be found getting kicked out of cute cafés as Gyeom tries to draw her boy but Yugyeom, being the crackhead he is, starts yeLLING about pigeons or sth and get’s them kicked out. 

@blushyhoonie - Seventeen’s Woozi

Ash and Jihoon would most commonly be found curled up in the boy’s studio. He would be writing lyrics and she would be writing stories. Neither would be talking but both are calm and happy. Later they would attempt to get the other to show off their creation whilst simultaneously trying to hide their own creation.

@hanniebear ​- iKON’s Ju-ne

Baz and Junhoe would most commonly be found touring around the popular restaurants in whatever area they’re in. Taking photos of the food and each other, with Junhoe yeLLING and Baz being her soft perfect self, they’d have a blast and a half together.

[cocona]

hey! i wanna at least try to get into kpop, to see what all the fuss is abt, and youre the first blog that comes to mind abt that stuff. do you have any recs!? or comments?? anything really, i'm interested in what you have to say

i have recs!!! first of all ty for asking me abt it hdgfs !! i’ll make u a list !! i will try to stay concise but i have bolded n linked the most important stuff since i tend to blabber a lot! there r groups i purposely didnt recommend! also! i advise you to look up who did what if you want to know why idcs abt certain artists that r big in kpop (like big//ba//ng, su//ju, bl//ock//b, ma//ma//moo & so on) tl;dr: kpop basics (spotify) + @tearera (my kpop sb)

i’ll start w some RECS but jsyk kpop as u might have heard of it is mainly composed of groups! which is why i’ll start w groups then soloists! of course u can check out most of them on spotify (u can listen to their playlist of the most famous songs atm!). please notice that the kpop industry is very ‘classic’ when it comes to concepts (cute r for gorls! badass r for boys!) so um. yeah. yikes. if i had to argue abt all the things i find wrong in this industry this post would become a manifesto, u can always pm me if u want to hear me complain lmao 

GIRL GROUPS

honestly…. TWICE are the first one that came to my mind when i thought of ggs to rec. they’re a 9 member group labelled under jyp entertainment n have debuted in 2015 with the bop like ooh aah… that u can listen to! their genre is mainly cute songs but dont be fooled!! they have extremely powerful songs & lyrics as well! some good starts with their music are LIKEY (2017, a bop, great melody, great rapping, one of their ult feel good songs, played @ the olympics), TT (2016, queens of halloween!), and also their most recent song WHAT IS LOVE (2018, iconic!! gay!! bop!! sweet!! great album!!). as twice are the kind that can set you off by their cuteness and playful vibes, i recommend you to check out some of their side tracks. personality wise, the girls r very fun and sweet! they’re all angels and i love them all THIS MUCH!! if u want to know, sana & dahyun r my favourite members!         

also queens, but from sm entertainment this time, Red Velvet are a 5 member gg who have debuted in 2015 with the song Happiness (at that time they were only 4 but the youngest member, Yeri, joined later on!). some very famous songs of theirs are… basically all their title tracks but i’d mainly recommend Russian Roulette, Dumb Dumb (also my fave rv music video!!), Peek-a-boo (what’s better than lesbians witches slaying men and eating pizza), Bad Boy (honestly… one of their best songs… title track of their repackaged album…good shit if u will). of course! there are some side tracks i will recommend! i will frankly say that i listen to a lot of their music and they’re my favourite musically! some faves in no particular order are automatic, cool hot sweet love, huff n puff, something kinda crazy, about love, kingdom come, little little and talk to me! they have very versatile genres and have two main themes of music, the red and the velvet, though these mix often! rlly! their music really good. they have amazing choreographies too!!!!

the third gg i will rec are one that have not debuted yet, it’s LOONA! get ready bc they are a 12 member group with one girl for every month. each girl was revealed every month staring from 2016 with a single album composed of one song and one side track that usually features another member! as this group has yet to debut, i cannot show you anything with all twelve members but! they work with units, there are three: loona 1/3, odd eye circle, and yyxy (tune in for their debut scheduled for may!) that each have an album. 1/3 r more of a cute girly concept, while odd eye circle have played strongly on the girl crush & rnb concept. we have yet to see what yyxy has for us n im frankly v excited!!! my fave singles are Around You (hyunjin), Let Me In (haseul), Singing in the rain (jinsoul, best girl), Eclipse (kim lip), and Heart Attack (by chuu!! also best girl). they have already released a lot of music so go ahead & listen to it! their music videos have a plot and it’s one of those theories fandom (loonaverse)! the positions that all the members will have wasn’t been revealed yet!

then here’s a list of ggs that’s not as detailed bc it would be too long: clc (they r…the girls….), exid (vocals, social criticism, sexy), blackpink (5 songs out but theyre all top notch), f(x) (v good music! bring them back from the war), gfriend (cute & refreshing concepts! v tight choreographies! sweet girls!), aoa, & many more! groups i dont rec bc i dont stan but that u should know of: snsd, 2ne1; that have disbanded but shouldnt have: sistar

BOY GROUPS

ok i stan two boy groups so that’ll be quick! i’ll also rec plenty of music!

the main group i stan is BTS aka the bangtan boys and yes… they’re everywhere… they deserve it tbh… so theyre a 7 member boy group and they’re the first kpop group i ever stanned! they have released a lot of songs already but i’ll just mark something! bts are known for their cinematography and plot in their music videos as well as their politically/socially engaged songs. they debuted in 2013 with the youth-conscious song no more dream and um. forget the mv. the message is what’s important. secondly! my favourite eps & albums are DARK&WILD (forget abt war of hormone), The Most Beautiful Moment in Life pt2, WINGS, and Love Yourself 轉 Tear (which will be released on May 18th so stay tuned!). here’s a beginner’s list to bts & their music videos: spring day, blood sweat & tears, run, fire, i need u, and intros: singularity, serendipity. i cannot recommend bts songs bc i’d be unable to pick some, but here is my bangtan favourites playlist and spotify’s This Is BTS! n their most known song atm, still on charts, DNA. another thing!! they dabble in a lot of genres! there is a constant symbolism in most of their songs and music videos, which is why there are theories! also, here are my fave choreos (x x x) & non-official releases (x x x)! also! j-hope recently released a mixtape! check it out! it’s v good! the bad thing is that the fandom is massive n it is filled with young fans so a lot of fan-created content is cringey. apart from that! theyre lovely as a band n i’m not ashamed to say that they bring me most of my joy these days!

then there is… NCT. ok, let’s dive into them. nct is the acronym for Neo Culture Technology, they’re currently an 18 member boy group but hey! don’t be scared! they too work in units and have only released one song which features all 18 of them! it is likely that the band will expand later on & that the name NCT will become a brand (like akb48 u know). so far! there are three units! NCT DREAM (based on age, with the youngest members who r still minors), NCT U (the first unit to have debuted, aka nct united, a rotative unit with no fixed genre or members list) and NCT 127 (seoul based unit, fixed, with 9 members). they’re known for their experimentative and diversified sound, which goes from ballads to… this. while each unit have their distinct genre and vibe, they’re all under the same label of nct! and um, check out spotify’s nct playlist if u want! here r some songs that are basics! bolded r the faves! jsyk i hated their music & their clothes @ first bc it’s so unique so dw if u dislike them! 

127: cherry bomb, limitless (gross hair but spectacular song), touch, back to u, 0 mile, sun & moon, angel

dream: my first and last, we young, go, dunk shot, trigger the fever, la la love

u: the 7th sense, boss, baby don’t stop, without you, yestoday

solo tracks/sm station: dream in a dream & new heroes (ten), around (taeyong)

the last group i’ll present in length n that u should know about is SEVENTEEN. they’re a 13 member boy group & work in units as well but mainly promote w all the members! they’re the fun, sweet, talented, heartfelt refreshing boys we all love tbh! so! seventeen debuted in 2015 with the bop adore u and since then it’s been great song over great song… they also have great choreos! they’re the easiest group to listen to imo bc their songs are mostly light and very similar to what you can hear on teen top radios! then, they get stuck in your head very easily! here are some songs u can listen to that will make your day! mansae, very nice, pretty u, clap, don’t wanna cry, change up, n there are many more! some of my faves are when i grow up, trauma, still lonely, rocket, crazy in love, lean on me, and uhgh rlly all of their songs tbh! three units better known as teams: hip-hop, performance and vocal, with a leader in each. they put up great performances!!

then there is shinee, mostly nicknamed the kings of kpop, i’d make a very long desc but! i suggest you to see for yourself as the fandom is v helpful!

here are some boy groups that i rec but wont go in length with: pentagon (i stan!), monsta x (edm, powerful dances), shinee, exo (great vocals, great choreos, v good music), astro (bubblegum but v heartwarming! vocals), day6 (rock band, great songs), wanna one & many more! rlly um bgs arent the thing that’s lacking in kpop! 

a bit in the middle: KARD (mixed group!!! great music & genderless, breaking the usual hardcore is for boys & cutesy is for girls concept)

SOLOISTS

more of a solo person? check out artists like hyuna (ex member of both wonder girls & 4minute), iu, heize (a personal fave!), sunmi (ex member of wonder girls), taemin (member of shinee), amber liu (current member of fx! also released a mixtape recently!) hyolyn or dean… tbh there r many! these r just the ones i can think off the top of my head! theyre honestly easy to listen to so just look up their names on yt & u should find some good things!

if u read all of this!! uhh kudos to u!! it was v long n i didnt expect it to be that long!! 

[determinationandcaffeine]

Some of these will not apply to many people so pls take them with a grain of salt. Also I’ve been collecting these pretty much for the two years I’ve been in college so it’s not a guide, they’re just… random I guess.

Making friends��

Warning - specially tailored for super shy people aka me

There’s a thing called the ‘first week window of endless oportunities’. It’s when groups are still forming and everyone’s desperate to make friends. This is the time to put your best self forward (I’m not saying be fake, just a little extra friendly).

Leave. Your. Door. Open. Do it. Even if you have a roommate. Best way to make friends the first week.

Actually get out of your room. You’re not going to meet many people if you hole up in your room. If you have a tv room or people are watching a movie, I don’t care if you’re not interested in what they’re watching, go.

If you have the balls to go to the room nextdoor and introduce yourself then you probably can skip this section by all means do it!

But if you don’t, going from door to door asking for help with your laundry takes a lot less courage + you will learn how to do laundry. Asking to borrow something (pencil, hair tie, hair dryer) also works.

If you’re staying at a residence hall, ask to sit with people at lunch! Nobody is going to say no, i promise.

Similarly if you see someone alone, ask them to have lunch with you! 

Also if you meet someone you get along with, as soon as you can, ask for their number ‘so you can go to the dinning hall together’. 

Remember people’s names - it makes people feel like you actually care about them. I know it’s hard but make an effort. Also it just gets annoying when someone asks about your name for the fourth time. Use mnemonics if you have to.

Asking what someone’s major is and where they’re from is standard procedure when you meet them but it doesn’t make for an interesting conversation. Think of other questions!

Make sure to arrive about 10 min early to your classes. There’ll be very few people and so it’ll be easier to strike up a conversation (actually people will probably talk to you without you having to say anything which is g r e a t)

Say yes - as a rule of thumb, your social life should prevail over your academic life the first two weeks. This is the time where you’re not really pressed for time. Say yes to watching movies, say yes to going to lunch, say yes to going to campus events (and even to parties). Obviously don’t do anything that makes you really unconfortable but do try to step out of your comfort zone

Make friends with an upper-classman from your same major. Or at least be on speaking terms. Talk to them on Facebook, ask them about your major, just use any random idc excuse to introduce yourself, it doesn’t really matter how you do it.

Don’t go home every weekend, even if you live close by. You’ll miss out on the best of campus life and some of the most fun memories with your new friends.

Keeping your old friends

If you know you’re going home for the weekend, try to finish most of your assignments/studying and make time to hang out with your friends. Spending time with them is the best way to keep those friendships alive. 

But! Don’t worry too much if you can’t come home or make time for your friends too often, you just have to make an effort to text them regularly. It will come naturally if it’s your best friend, but don’t forget to set a reminder to text other close friends at least once every two weeks.

You may think you don’t care now but you will once you come home for the summer.

If any of your friends are staying in your hometown for college, be ready for them to get another friend group. That doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten about you, but don’t be mad if they seem to have a lot more plans that don’t involve you. You can always ask to tag along some time and maybe even become friends with these people!

Some people you’ll just lose contact with. Don’t fret it.

Organization

Please print out or buy a calendar that has a whole page for each month. With boxes preferably *shameless plug*. You may think you have it all under control but there’s nothing like being able to see all your due dates, hang out plans and laundry days at a glance. (Also js but the pilot frixion are perfect to use on calendars because they’re erasable).

Hampers are love. Hampers are life. Also they’re the only way your clothes won’t end up all over your floor and bed (..and chairs) so get one.

Health

Adding fruit and veggies to all your meals is very easy to do. And very easy to forget. 

If you know someone who goes for runs regularly, ask to tag along! You’ll be more likely to keep active if you have someone who’ll drag you outside!

Get a mini fridge (if your dorm doesn’t come with one). It’ll be the best investment you’ll make in your entire college life. Also make sure to check in with your roommate beforehand so tbat you don’t end up having two fridges. And ask if they want to split the cost.

Academics

You will have some crappy professors. When that happens, the solution is not to cry over your (almost inexistent) notes and complain to whatever poor soul will listen.Find your recommended books, take a trip to the library, sneakily get them online.

On that note, you can find PDFs of almost any textbooks online if you just look for ‘textbook name pdf’. Yeah it’s not legal. Neither should be charging 100€ for a textbook. Yeah it’s probably not the latest edition. But email your professor about it, they usually don’t mind.

If your copy shops refuse to print out textbooks, go early in the morning or late at almost-closing time or just at a time where there isn’t anyone else there bc they’re a lot more likely to do it (not saying they will okay but there’s no harm in asking).

If you’re not a morning person, you’re not going to go to that 8am 8/10 times so if you can avoid taking it, do. Yes, you did it in hs but believe me, it’s different

Chances are you will have at least one Ridiculous Professor (a.k.a. one whose tests ask about literally every single detail). This is why it’s a good idea to look for past tests from this professor (or just ask an upper-classman. Seriously just make friends with an upper-classman) ASAP. And then make flashcards like a mad person.

If you’re too sick to get yourself to the ER and attendance is mandatory for that class, email your professor bc most times they won’t even ask for a doctor’s note. If attendance is not mandatory, don’t even bother.

Check how much your assignments are worth. Always. Stop spending time you don’t have on shit that’s worth 5%, just turn in something.

Semesters go by a lot faster because what you learnt in hs in a year, you now have to learn in half the time. My point? Start studying early.

It doesn’t matter how amazing of a student you were in hs, get ready for your grades to drop. How much they drop depends on you.

Partying

Partying may not be your thing and nobody will force you to go out. But I’d say try it at least once (preferably during the first week). Not just because of ‘the experience’ but because you might make some friends that way (I know if I’d stayed home I never would’ve met some of my best friends in college).

You’ll probably end up having to dress up at some point. Don’t leave it until the last minute. Also ask around, group costumes are awesome and you’ll come up with something faster than if you have to think of one on your own.

On a similar note, get a box to put your costumes in! At the end of the year (or when you finish your degree?) you can go through it and remember all the awesome times you had. Also some parts of old costumes will come in handy for new costumes.

This may vary from place to place but generally heels are only for very special ocassions, not a saturday night party.

I know that for some of you it’ll be your first time drinking so some random tips:

Don’t do more than 3 shots of absinthe in one night. DO NOT DO IT CHILD

You’re probably going to have a favorite drink freshman year and you’re most likely never going to want to touch it again by the end of the year. Choose wisely (meaning don’t do vodka because you’ll grow to hate it).

Avoid wearing really dark liquid lipsticks because after just one shot they look absolutely disgusting (butthole effect).

Drinks are expensive so when possible just pre-game (also smol tip - if you want to get the most out of your alcohol, add gummy bears to your pregaming cup. Don’t fucking do this if it’s your first time drinking)

I don’t recommend puking but it’s better than a trip to the emergency room and a convenient solution if you feel like shit.

Put a bottle of water beside your bed before you go out and chug it as soon as you get home. Thank me in the morning.

Hungover lectures are torture. Don’t skip class though, go and record it (ask your professor first obviously)

Depends on how safe your city is, but as a rule of thumb, let someone know if you’re going home and preferably wait until someone else wants to leave so that you don’t have to walk home alone.

Extra

If you need to write an email to a professor do it ASAP. Don’t put it off until let’s say 3AM. Not only won’t they respond in time but they can see what time it was sent.

Turn on nofications for your school email (and if you don’t have one ffs make one). 

if your laptop is kinda crappy and slow, get a new one. That thing will become a part of your body, especially in higher years. Freshmen always think they won’t bring it to class to take notes. Ha.

Do Not DO NOT give up your hobbies - I know how overwhelming uni can be but hobbies are a part of who you are. If you erase that, only your major is left. You are not just your major so make time for your hobbies.

If you have a roommate don’t like… use the Attack on Titan opening as your alarm. It will get you a pillow to the head. Applies to any other ‘wake up time to die’ ringtones too. 

Also please don’t let you alarm go off for too long because literally everyone on your floor can hear it and that shit is annoying 

Just a suggestion but stop drinking coffee every day. That way it’ll be a lot more effective during finals week. (Drink tea instead).

Remember to not be defined by your high school self. Nobody knows that person where you’re going anyway. Is there a certain way you’ve always wanted to dress? Want to dye your hair? Want to try being that person who compliments and smiles at people? Anything you always wanted to try? Now’s the time to do it!

Anyway, that’s all! I hope this was helpful and can ease some of your nerves about college!

More college posts

How To Stop Skipping Class

First Time in the Lab Advice

Tips on Organic Chemitry

Taking Notes in College