#me choosing the worst lightning possible to gif

[namsoek]

his hair 🥴🥴

[ithebookhoarder]

Hi there, I hope you are having a great day/night! I just wanted to say that I love the way you write Eloise. You portray her character beyond perfectly! 🥰 I can’t help but be my gay little lesbian self for her witty and sarcastic attitude.

I would be eternally grateful to you if you could please write an A-Z relationship post about her. You wrote such brilliant ones for the bridgerton brothers, I’d love to read one of El.

Relationship A - Z: Eloise Bridgerton x Reader

A/N: Um, of course - I’d love to do that? Thank you so much for giving me an excuse to sit down and actually write this. And also, thank you for your incredibly lovely and kind comments. I know people say it a lot, but it genuinely does mean the world to know my writing is being enjoyed by people - especially when it comes to my fellow LGBTQ+ peeps. This comment has left me smiling all day... Hope you enjoy! 💕

----

a - actions. what sort of things do they do to show they love their s.o? 

She acts at ease with you, which is the clearest sign to all that she loves you. It’s like how a *spicy* cat suddenly acts like an innocent kitten around their owner, whilst simultaneously looking at everyone else like they’re plotting your demise. 

Eloise never usually lets her guard down, not even around her family, which is why it means so much to you that she sits close to you, rather than pushes you away. That she immediately offers you a chocolate from the box she’s eating, whilst swatting her siblings’ hands away. That she listens when you say something, even if she doesn’t agree, rather than making some sassy remark or shutting you down as she does most people. 

She also apologies to you when she’s wrong - something you once heard Colin swear would never happen, not until hell froze over. 

She always supports you, as well. No matter what, she will be there, ready to fight anyone who has upset you or even so much as disagreed with you - consequences be damned. She is ride or die, and her fierce loyalty makes you feel very loved. 

b - beginnings. how did the relationship begin? how has it changed? 

I feel you would intrigue her, when you first met. Whether it’s your shared interests, your outspoken nature, or even perhaps your willingness to call her out … you would have to catch her attention somehow, and be deemed worthy of her time, regardless of whether you met as children or as grown women. 

Also, Eloise probably wouldn’t acknowledge, or even understand that she was falling in love with you. Not at first. It would keep building and growing until she wakes one night and it hits her like a lightning bolt. She can’t live without you - and not just as a friend, but as someone who is her other half. Her partner. Her equal. 

After that revelation, it’s a matter of mustering up the courage to actually tell you how she feels, and allow herself to risk the possibility you do not feel the same. 

c - comfortable. how comfy are they with each other? peeing with the door open or closed? or would they rather keep the mystery? 

Eloise would probably be more reserved at first. After all, old habits die hard and being a Bridgerton - one of seven at that - has made her used to maintaining a sense of privacy, lest she risk her siblings mocking her or exposing her to some embarrassment at the worst possible time.  

It would take her a while to realise she doesn’t have to be that way anymore, nor does she have to maintain the wall she keeps in place to protect herself from the outside world. She can be entirely herself with you and knows you won’t abuse her for it. 

d - dates. do they consider dates to be important? what kind do they prefer? 

Dates are important for Eloise, but in a different way to her siblings. After all, she can spend time with you whenever she chooses, but it’s the thought behind the activity organised that means so much, rather than the activity itself. It’s a chance for you two to show how much you know about one another, and to have a new adventure together- whether it be sneaking your way into a talk about Mary Wollenstonecraft after you told Eloise how much you’d enjoyed reading her work, or letting Eloise teach you how to shoot so she has someone not actually afraid of competing with her (unlike her cowardly brothers - her words).  

e - engagement. how would they propose? who would even pop the question? 

Depending on your gender, you would propose if you were a man - but not until she informed you that she was ready to receive such a proposal. She’d also probably tell you exactly how to do it, even if she knows you’ll likely go rogue and surprise her for the satisfaction of keeping her on her toes. 

However, if you are female, I think it could go either way. You’d definitely discuss marriage, or at least permanent companionship - and again neither of you would pop the question until you knew the other wanted you to. 

f - fundamental. for them, what is the most fundamental part of a relationship? 

Respect. Respect for one another, with neither feeling the inferior or the superior where possible. You are partners in everything and the comfort that brings you both allows your relationship to flourish. It means listening, trusting, and being considerate of one another and your feelings. 

g - gratitude. how do they show their appreciation for you?

As I say, Eloise is a ride or die kind of person and makes no secret of it. She is constantly grateful to have found someone just as committed as she is, and does not take it for granted. She is keen to thank you verbally whenever you do something, and to leave you notes around the place expressing her joy and gratitude that you’re in her life. They’re often in code, in case someone else finds them first - but that’s part of the fun, knowing the two of you have a secret means of communicating.

h - home. a random domestic headcanon. 

After sharing a room - and a house - with her many siblings for so long, Eloise takes great pride in personalising her own space. It’s just another means of exercising the control she has so longed for, which is why you permit her to collect and display whatever ornaments or items she wishes - even if she has questionable taste, as the slightly demonic looking bird (you think it’s a bird) on the mantle piece proves. 

She also enjoys having a house full, so will often invite Penelope and Colin, and Benedict and Sophie, (and all their offspring) to come join you. She enjoys the chaos, and trying to corral them into performing theatricals for the entire gathering (something you all get roped into in some way or another). 

i - infinite. do they believe their love is endless, or is there something that could break it? 

With several siblings, and Penelope, happily married before her, I think Eloise knows how powerful love can be. However, with what happened with her mother and Francesca, I think Eloise knows life can be fleeting and that love should be cherished - even if she spends a long time being afraid of letting herself be vulnerable enough, and risking the possibility of being hurt as a result. 

However, once she finds you, and realises how much better her world is for you being in it, she understands why people let themselves be vulnerable. Her world is better for the love you bring, regardless of how much time you two may have to enjoy it. 

j - jokes. who's the funny one? 

Her. 100%. She’s endlessly sarcastic and has a witty remark prepared at all times - a fact that has caused you to snort into your tea or glass of champagne more than once when in polite company. 

It only gets worse when she and Benedict are in the same room. You half think, in another life, they’d have had a fine career together on the stage. 

k - kiss. how do they kiss? favourite type? 

Eloise secretly loves when you decide to kiss her in a bid to silence her from talking, whether it be in an argument or if she is rambling - as she is prone to do. It’s rather effective, to be honest, and the way she blushes afterwards is adorable. 

When it comes to returning the favour, Eloise prefers giving you short, gentle kisses, normally when she enters or exits a room. They come so easily and naturally, that she does them without even thinking. She enjoys being able to be affectionate with you, and to demonstrate her love for you - especially when the others are around. There is nothing quite so funny as watching her go from being soft when pecking your cheek or lips, only to whirl and sass whichever sibling is vexing her. 

l - longing. who's the clingy one? how are they with long distance? 

Surprisingly, I think Eloise would be the clingy one. We’ve seen in the books how she acts when her family and friends start to marry off and disappear. 

She’s very social, and is the kind of person that, once she loves someone, she loves deeply and whole heartedly. You become important to her, and therefore she struggles if you’re not there. She’d write to you every day if you had to leave her for a while - even if it was only a few days. 

m - marriage. do they wanna get married? 

Depending on your gender this may or may not be a possibility for you. However, Eloise isn’t exactly desperate to race you down the aisle anyway, so it wouldn’t be such an issue at first. True, as time goes by, she’d probably start to envy the way her siblings get to claim their lover as theirs, and finally agrees to getting married. (Ultimately, she can concede that those women that are married do tend to have more social freedoms than unmarried, so if anything it is an advantageous move on her part…or so she says when asked by her siblings…)

She would at least wish commemorate your union with some kind of symbol - be it a ring or just getting to sign her name on a piece of paper. Just something to solidify the fact that she has something special of her own, with someone worthy of her. It doesn't matter whether that's in a chapel in London, or privately between the pair of you in some far off European city. 

n - nicknames. what ones do they like? 

El. Eloise. My love. Just anything not too insipid, nor - heaven forbid - her full name. Just as her mother did when she was small, calling her by her full title is a sure signal she is in, or about to be in, trouble. 

o - over the top. are they ever ott? or are they more low-key? 

She’s a Bridgerton, so of course the answer is yes. She can be loud, dramatic, and doesn’t care what anyone outside of her family thinks of her but that’s part of her charm and one of the many reasons you fell in love with her. She’s also less OTT in comparison to some of her family, but you love them all dearly and treasure the fact that your life will certainly never be boring in their company. 

p - picture. what's their favourite picture of them and their s.o? 

One more relaxed, rather than a formal portrait. It would be something like a casual sketch done by a street artist, of the pair of you, in the park on a warm summer day. It’s the first one Eloise claims she truly recognises herself in, seeing her true self shining through, compared to all the forced and frivolous paintings she’s stood for as part of her family’s wishes. 

q - quintessential. what is one thing they would refuse to compromise in their relationship? what's a deal-breaker for them? 

Respect. Plain and simple. You are both individual people with equally important thoughts and feelings. Together you make a team, but she is one half of that and if you can’t acknowledge that then she has no time for you.

r - rage. who is the most likely to start an argument? 

… Eloise. Do I even need to answer that? She’s just so hot tempered and hard headed that she finds herself starting rows, even if she doesn’t mean to. However, the one thing about her you can always rely upon is her willingness to apologise as soon as she’s cooled down enough to realise her error. She’s also surprisingly forgiving if you do ever start a row.. but you can bet she’s kept a tally of who won on a scrap of paper somewhere. 

s - sickness. who gets sick most often? what are they like when they’re sick? 

I don’t think Eloise would get sick more than a usual amount. However, I feel she is the stubborn kind of person who denies being ill until she physically cannot any longer - especially if one of her siblings is first to remark upon it. Then, she’ll insist nothing is wrong and try to carry on as normal… until she ends up passing out somewhere or almost coughing up a lung. Then she quickly gives in to your tender care and allows you to shepherd her to bed, even if she says she’ll be right as rain by the morning. 

t - tattoo. would they ever get matching tattoos with their s.o, or a tattoo for them? 

No, not given the time period. If this was modern Eloise, then possibly as an act of rebellion. However, not in Bridgerton as it is. 

u - understanding. how understanding are they? or are they a little difficult? 

Eloise can be very difficult, but that doesn't mean she isn't willing to understand something. It might take her a while, and patience on your part, when explaining something or trying to convince her to see something from someone’s else's way of thinking. However, she more often than not will come around and at least consider another way of viewing things - even if she still (deep down) believes her way to be superior or correct. 

v - vases. do they buy flowers?

I don’t think she is overly fond of them herself but if you like them then she’ll have some grown for you in the garden - or in the greenhouse 😅 (I’m trying to avoid a Philip joke here hehe)

w - wandering. do they wanna travel? or immediately settle down? 

Eloise would wish to explore. After all, being with a companion or married both allow women greater freedoms - something she’s longed for. So you can bet she has her bags packed as soon as possible, ready to explore and see the world far away from London and the rigidity of the Ton. That, and no one will know who you are which is the ultimate freedom of all.  

x - ex. how many exes do they have? any horror stories? 

Eloise doesn’t really have horror stories as she doesn’t really have any exes. True, she has tales of the suitors she has sent packing, most of which are highly amusing (especially when Penelope or Benedict re-enact the tales for you). She also has Theo (if you’re going off the tv series) but I feel you’d understand the pain that that brought her, as her first genuine romantic relationship. It also showed her that it was alright to love and that there are people out there worthy of risking the hurt for. 

y - you. favourite thing about their partner? 

Your spirit. Let’s be real, you'd have to have a strong one to engage with Eloise Bridgerton, but also the world in general. She loves how you aren't afraid to stand up to her or tell her when she’s in the wrong, just as you are willing to fight off anyone who has anything remotely bad to say about Eloise or yourself. You know who you are and you know what you want from the world and you aren't afraid to go out there and take it. 

z - zeal. how excitable are they? who's the calm one?

Oh, Eloise is the excitable one - even if she’d deny it. She’s a veritable ball of energy and doesn't seem able to stay still for very long. There’s just too much to see and do, and so little time. 

Also, once you meet the rest of the Bridgerton bunch you realise that it isn't that much of a surprise really. If anything, she’s one of the calmer of the lot... and that’s saying something. 

[beeroses]

I’ll take the lot

FanFic Friday are starting to feel more like FanFic Mondays... sorry for the delays! Your picture inspired stuff @rebelwrites, and apparently, a lot of stuff..!! So here’s a whole lot of Bishop fluff thrown at all of you! If you wanna be added to the taglist, please holler, I’ll be glad to!

Warnings : Pet names are female (Querida, Reina) but no other descriptions made, slight language warning, Angel’s still a douchebag, sorry, it’s a theme I guess..!

Gif credits to gif maker, Mayans credit to Mayans makers

- So, Querida, what do you think?

- This is absolutely beautiful, Obispo, I just think it’s really funny that out of everywhere in the State you could’ve chosen, you went for San Luis Obispo County, you answered!

- Ahh come on Querida, I chose the Moonstone Beach not Obispo County, don’t laugh!!! I chose this place because I’ve heard you get to see the most beautiful sunsets in the country, here.

- Have you gotten soft, Presidente? you asked, smirking.

- No I haven’t, he coughed slightly and then you heard him mumble : it’s just really hard to find a place more beautiful than you…

You smiled to yourself, the man was pretty damn near perfect. You’ve had ups and downs, things had gotten crazy with the club then had calmed down, but whatever was going on around, your beautiful boyfriend made sure to spend time with you, to take you out and to go away with you. He never once put you aside deliberately and always included you in every aspect of his life. Crazy lives you two were living, but you wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

- I love you, Obispo, and I love this place, you smiled.

He took your hands in his and smiled, looking out in the distance. He looked deep in thought but when didn’t he? You enjoyed the breeze coming from the ocean as you kept looking at the horizon. He was right, this place was absolutely breathtaking. You knew he had something on his mind because he kept fidgeting with his fingers and yours, while holding hands. You never wanted to pry and sometimes, things were just better the less you knew, but after a while in absolute silence, you got a little bit nervous.

- Is everything ok, Cariño ?

He almost jumped out of his skin at the sound of your voice. Very, very deep in thoughts, indeed.

- I’m sorry Querida, I spaced out.

- Yeah, I noticed… Anything you wanna talk about? you tried.

- Actually, yeah, I think I should. Looks like the perfect time to…

His words trailed off when the both of you heard :

- HEY PREZ!

- You’ve GOT to be kidding me…

You looked over Bishop’s shoulder only to see the Reyes brothers coming your way, rapidly. Angel having cotton candy in his hands, EZ carrying his childish smile around like a trophy for the best brushed teeth in the entire universe. Bishop looked annoyed to no end.

- Hey Prez, what a pleasure! Out of everyplace you could’ve gone to for your day off, we come to the same one! Angel said, excited by the coincidence and clearly not reading the room.

- Out of Every. Goddamn. Places. Bishop mumbles.

The Reyes brothers invite the two of you to spend the rest of the evening together and you both accept, even though you feel like Bishop is long gone in his head again. Although you loved Abbott and Costello to absolutely no end, you were almost mad at the unexpected meet.

*****************************************************************************************************

It both always bothered you and never did, the fact that, as Presidente, Obispo rarely had time off. You managed with the time you had, the evenings when he left early, the lazy Sundays, he would allow himself, sometimes, the lunches he’d bring at your job so you could eat together. Therefore, it took a couple of weeks until he got a full weekend off. You had decided to go North a little and settle for a more deserted destination, near the Joshua Tree National Park. You knew, for a fact, that whatever Bishop wanted and felt ready to share with you hadn’t left his thoughts yet. You had seen the wrinkles on his forehead, the ones he only got when he was deeply worried about something. It stuck from the second he got interrupted by the impossible comedic duo up until you settled in your room, feet away from the park.

- Wow, you’re going all out, Obispo! you teased.

- Well, I try to make it right to mi Reina.

- You know you don’t have to pull all the stops, like this! I’m very happy at the littlest things, you know that!

- I do, he said, pulling you in his arms, but I really want this to be perfect, just like you, he whispered in you ear.

The day went on nicely, you brought yourself a picnic to enjoy while enjoying the beauty and peace of the park. Everything was going absolutely perfectly. Towards the evening, Bishop pushed an outfit towards you, something a little more fancy than you had thought but, what the hell, if your man wanted you wearing that outfit, you’d obliged, especially since the frown had seem to disappear along the day. You walked out of the bathroom and saw Obispo look at you, almost stunned, something very deer-in-the-middle-of-traffic, like. You could’ve almost sworn you saw the man blush. But he turned his head, making sure he had everything, mumbling how gorgeous you were, almost more to himself than to you. You saw him fumble with the hotel key, his keys, his wallet, and stumbled on his own feet. He looked like a baby animal just learning to deal with it’s legs. You laughed at his sudden awkwardness.

- You ok there, El Presidente? you asked, a smirk stapled on our face.

- I’m fine, of course, yes, I’m fine. You look stunning, Querida, did I tell you?

- Not directly, but the fact you don’t remember how to use your legs correctly said it for you… you laughed. Come here.

You pulled him towards you and made him face you.

- Will you finally tell me what’s going on with you? You’ve been so.. distant, in your head, lately.

- Yeah, I will, I promise.

- Tonight?

- Tonight, he agreed.

You left, hand in hand, and walked to a car Obispo had ordered to take you to a gorgeous restaurant, which had a beautiful terrace. You sat at your table and ordered drinks. Obispo kept your hand in his at all time. You could sense he was ready to talk about whatever’s been troubling him over the past couple of weeks.

- So, Querida, after everything we’ve been through, you know, it’s nice to be able to get away, like this, just us, he said, running his thumb on the top of your hand.

- It’s.. you started.

- PRIMO! Alvarez said, just walking in with his wife and coming towards you. What are the odds, my man?

- I’d say pretty good, lately… Bishop stated.

Alvarez and his wife took a seat at the table next to you and chatted you guys all night. You came back very late at the hotel and knew the moment was gone. Again. Early the next morning, Bishop received a phone call from Taza and you guys had to cut your trip short, putting an axe, once again, on that long overdue conversation.

*****************************************************************************************************

You got woken up by Obispo travelling back and forth across the room, grabbing clothes and throwing them in a duffle bag.

- You going on a run? you asked him, surprised as he hadn’t told you about it.

- No, we are, he answered.

- I’m sorry, who?

- You and me. We’re going away. Right now.

- But…

- No buts, Querida, let’s go!

The two of you left, at the crack of dawn, on his motorcycle, for somewhere only he knew. You drove for a while and stopped along the beach, where a beautiful boardwalk pushed into the ocean. Bishop took your hand in his and pulled you towards the furthest part of the walk, the one that pushed the furthest into the great Blue. You leaned on the railway to look further into the sea. The lightning of the morning sun making the water look like it was filled with diamonds. Everything about the scenery was absolutely breathtaking.

- Bish, what are we doing here? you asked, blown away.

- I wanted to find someplace special, since I think we’re long overdue to talk, you and me, he said.

- You didn’t have to kidnap me, you know, you said, smirk on display on your features.

- Pff, if I’d kidnapped you, you’d know, trust me, he winked.

You looked at the sea a little more and turned fully around to give your full attention to the man in front of you.

- So, Querida, I’ve been so lucky to have you stand by me through the years, you’ve been nothing but my…

- Bish, HEY, BISH!

- You’re FUCKING KIDDING ME. WHAT? Obispo asked, turning towards the voice. There stood half the Mayans. Gilly, Coco, Angel and EZ, on their motorcycles.

- What are you doing here, Prez, Gilly asked, isn’t there Templo in an hour?

- Yeah, I fell off that girl’s bed to be there in time, why are you here ? Angel asked.

- Do you even remember her name? EZ asked his brother.

- I don’t think she ever told me, Angel said smugly.

- WILL YOU JUST FUCKING SHUT UP? CAN’T A MAN ASK HIS GIRLFRIEND TO MARRY HIM, ROMANTICALLY, WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED EVERY SINGLE TIME? Bishop screamed at his brothers.

Then fell silence. The boys looked sheepishly at the pavement, gathering up excuses to run away as fast and far as they could. You looked absolutely stunned. Bishop looked enraged.

- Is that… Is it… It that what’s been bothering you, lately? you asked, wild eyed, tears welling up quickly to blur your vision.

Obispo just then realized your presence and how badly it went. He’d been trying to find a way, a place, a setting, everything to make sure it was the most romantic engagement, for his Reina and it ended being the worst possible way.

- It wasn’t bothering me… I just… he sighed deeply, I really wanted this to be perfect, you know.

- I didn’t choose you because you’re perfect, Obispo. I chose you because you’re you.

- Hopefully you also chose me because of my impatience and the fact I cannot, for the life of me, get rid of these punkasses.

- Like I said, I chose you because you’re you. And if you come with impatience, tantrums and those douchebags, then I’ll take the lot.

- Are you saying yes? Obispo asked, hopeful.

- Por supuesto, diciendo que si, mi Amor!!

Bishop took you in his strong arms and pulled you to his chest. The kiss you got was quite possibly the most passionate you’ve ever shared. The boys clapped and cheered, Gilly wolfwhistled and got a death stare from Bishop, therefore stopped immediately.

- Hey, just for the record, I never said I pulled tantrums, Bishop said, squinting at you.

- I said what I said, you winked as you felt him push the ring on your finger, squeezing your hand in his, lovingly.

@chibsytelford​ @yosoynicolexo @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindo​

[holykillercake]

Piña Coladas 

pairing: Marco x Reader

word count: 2k

summary:  You are loyal to your captain and your team, so you would do everything to win. Even shoot your boyfriend. 

highlight: ¨I don´t like when your tattoo is covered.¨

warning: implied smut

notes: Guys, I really want to thank each and every one of you for the love and support <3 Also, picture this as a crossover between laser tag and paintball!

𝕷𝖊𝖆𝖛𝖊 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖘, 𝖗𝖊𝖖𝖚𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖘, 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊!

¨Ok, assholes, listen up!�� your freckled captain uttered loudly due to the music blasting outside of your headquarter. ¨They have Haruta and Speed Jiru, those sneaky bastards, so we´re gonna have to be careful here, ok? They also have an extra person compared to us! So focus the fuck up!¨

The Whitebeard Pirates made a strategic stop at the Sabaody Archipelago for provisions, which meant that it was time for the Division Commanders and Whitebeard´s left-hand and only daughter, you, to engage in your periodic Bubble Laser Tag battle. 

The teams were sorted out, and one would always have an extra member. The team captains were for the first time, Ace and Marco. And despite loving the First Division Commander, you were obliged to take a vow to serve and honor your team and your captain as long as the game ran. 

¨Y/N you´re the faster one here and the smallest, so I´m counting on you.¨ you saluted him ¨Izo, you´re the best sniper we have, so place your freckled butt in a strategic place and shoot the fuck out of those motherf-¨

¨OI, OI, OI, OI!¨ all of you shouted at Ace.

¨Calm down, cowboy! Don´t you think you´re taking this far too seriously?¨ 

¨No! Do you know when was the last time I was captain?! And do you know how many losses in a row I have?! This is my pride, Y/N! You´re with me or against me?!¨

You couldn´t face him without laughing, he was just so stupid sometimes. But you made sure to let him know that you were on his side - not that you had a choice, though. 

The teams were called The Bird Brains and The Freckled Butts. Yes, the captains chose each other´s team's name, and naturally, nothing good could come out of it. The worst part was having to run around with a tag that said ¨Freckled Butt¨ on your gear. 

In Ace´s team, you had, well, you, Thatch, Izo, Fossa, Namur, Blamenco, and Kingdew, and in Marco´s team were Vista, Haruta, Speed Jiru, Atmos, Curiel, Jozu, Blenheim, and Rakuyo. 

¨They will definitely use Jozu and Atmos as sacrificial lambs to get to us.¨ Thatch pointed out. 

¨Ok, so we´re leaving them to you, Izo.¨ Ace spoke.

¨I´m guessing Haruta and Jiru will be doing the same as Izo, hiding somewhere and making surprise attacks.¨

The rules were pretty simple:

1) No Devil Fruit ability could be used. Not after Ace almost burned the entire place to the ground once. 

2) You didn´t have to stay on the ground. You could use whatever you had at your disposal to climb the walls or even the ceiling. 

3) If the captain is out, the team is out. 

¨Ok. So, Thatch, you´ll cover for me; Namur will cover for Blamenco, and Kingdew will cover for Fossa. Izo and Y/N will go solo.¨ you furrowed your eyebrows.

¨Wait, I´m not covering Izo?¨

¨No, Y/N. You are our special pawn.¨ he said in a devilish and malicious tone. ¨I said I want a glorious victory this time. Your job will be to end this game as soon as possible.¨

¨Still not following, Fire-Fist.¨

¨We´ll make sure no one gets to you while you go find your birdie and end him!¨ he burst in a maniac laugh. 

¨You really think Marco is that stupid?!¨

¨No, but he´s a man, Y/N.¨ you gasped, outraged. 

You faced your crewmates, all of them smirking at you.

¨What are you now, a pimp?! Izo, say something, defend my honor!¨ 

¨I would Y/N, but not only he´s my captain today... he´s kinda right.¨

¨Besides, we´re all very familiar with you guys getting business done.¨ Thatch rested his arm on your shoulders. At this point, internal bleeding caused by severe embarrassment was killing you not so softly.

¨You know what? I think I´ll kill you all first!¨ you threatened the commanders.

The entire arena turned red, and a loud 10 seconds countdown began. You put your goggles down and tightened your grip on the gun, comrades doing the same.

¨We´re counting on you, Y/N. Put your freckled butt to work!¨ Ace said and stormed out before you could beat him. 

Still analyzing his request and your options available, you decided to stay hidden in the shadows. Head down, and powder dry - or paint wet. 

The music was so intense you could feel your lungs vibrating with every beat, sometimes knocking the oxygen out. The whole place was dark with colorful light beams flashing in every direction. 

After 5 minutes of resting in the shadows, you opted for what you thought would be the best thing to do, plus you had the benefit of being smaller than those brutes, so you fit in places they didn´t. 

And you just had found yourself the perfect spot right behind the stage lights at the top of the arena. Getting up there was a little tricky, the light rays almost blinded you - plus the risk of you being caught - and you were not sure you could hide there. Technically it was not against the rules.

¨If I were a hot birdie piña colada, where would I be?¨ you tried to channel into your lover´s brain.

That was actually a good hideout, you spot many of the commanders running around the field. You loved how they took it seriously as if their lives depended on it.  

A loud buzz played every time someone was eliminated, although they didn´t say from which team unless it was the captain. You´ve heard zero buzzes so far, showing how inspired and determined they were. 

You finally decided to follow your captain´s order when 10 minutes passed, and no one had gotten eliminated. Your stomach craved for food and you were really bored. 

You´d always choose the biggest arena since guys like Kingdew and Jozu wouldn´t fit in the normal one. So this one was larger, taller, and had more obstacles. Bubbles in all shapes and sizes, picturesque barricades, and tricky mirrors. Finding Marco was going to be tough... if you didn´t have a card in your sleeve. 

Again, it was not against the rules, and you wanted to eat something. Besides, this victory was more meaningful to Ace than to Marco. So you took your lover´s vivre card from your pocket and placed it on your palm, waiting for it to guide you. 

¨Bingo!¨ you spot a fluffy pineapple crown not so far from you. The problem was to reach him before he moved again. 

Your plan was not to shoot him from the distance, you knew better than that. You were going to approach, engage naturally and eliminate the target. Based on the field, the track he took so far, and his usual train of thought, you had a good guess of what he was planning to do.

The path he was taking led you to believe that he was advancing towards a barricade, a good place to hide, but that would offer him no visibility of his opponents. Was he planning to lay low while the rest of you killed each other? That didn´t sound like him. 

 The job that had been entrusted to you within the Whitebeard Pirates was to analyze each mission´s goal, come up with several different plans of approach - or attack - and predict the possible failures or setbacks. And you did all of that alongside Whitebeard himself, and all sixteen commanders. So, to guess the strategy Marco was going for would be easier than steal a child's candy.

Well, actually, you were able to guess his final destination, not his strategy. 

Without losing any more time, you ran and hid behind the barricade, waiting for your boyfriend to arrive. 

¨Whatever.¨ you thought.

¨Don´t shoot!¨ you squealed and threw both hands in the air.

¨Really, Y/N? This is how you play?¨ Marco asked, putting his gun down.

¨When I am hungry, yes!¨ you bent slightly, faking an exhausted state. 

¨What are you doing here, yoi?¨

¨Looking for Izo, I was supposed to cover for him.¨ you struggled with the weird sensation of lying to Marco. 

He hummed and leaned against the wall, wiping a bit of sweat off his forehead. The lightning was awful, but it was enough for you to see his messy hair and those lazy eyes that made you almost forget the mission. 

¨Why are you staring, yoi?¨ he gave you a smirk and a quick nod. 

¨Nothing. Uhm...¨ you bit your lip as the butterflies started to go insane inside of you ¨...it´s so rare to see you carrying a gun...¨

The first commander watched you with a raised eyebrow and a playful grin ¨Yeah, so?¨

The two of you entered a parallel universe, the lights changed according to the muffled beat of the music. And it was hot. Flaming hot, burning hot.

 Your breath was slow but heavy, and your mouth ran dry with adrenaline on your veins. Not because of a stupid plan or stupid game but because he made you lose whatever control you had over your body and mind. 

You let go of the gun and raised your hand until your fingers touched the skin of his face, tracing a slow path to his parted lips. He watched you like you were a rare creature, an angel forgiving his sins or a siren taking his life. His large hand held yours, and he placed kisses on your fingers, the same fingers that would pull the trigger by the end of this. You wondered if he already knew. 

Marco hooked his finger on the belt holders of your jeans and turned you, making you hit the wall, and oxygen left your lungs in a puff. Didn´t take long until he attacked your neck, tasting your salty skin. Your fingers pulled his hair as your body arched involuntarily, cold shivers reaching every part of you. 

His eyes were soaked in lust when he stopped marking your neck and stared at you like a hungry predator. Your teary eyes traveled to his chest looking for his tattoo, but it was covered by the stupid gear. 

¨I don´t like when your tattoo is covered.¨ you spoke. 

He leaned to your ears and said in a whisper ¨Then uncover it.¨

He was teasing you, he knew what you were supposed to do and was torturing you. 

¨I-I can´t...¨ your voice came out weak ¨I... I have to-¨

¨What, yoi?¨ his grin was malicious.

¨I have to shoot you.¨ 

Marco leaned again, getting really close to your lips but never touching them. Instead, he took your paint gun and put it in your hand. You laughed, asking yourself if you truly believed you would be able to fool him. He gave a quick kiss before stepping back so you could end your mission. 

¨You really don´t mind letting Ace win?¨ 

¨Ace can have the victory.¨  he shrugged ¨I have something better, yoi¨

You blushed with his comment, and fireworks exploded in your chest.

¨I love you, bird brain.¨

¨I love you... freckled butt.¨ he laughed, probably embarrassed for the name he chose.

¨This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you.¨ you raised the gun to his gear. 

¨I hope so, yoi.¨

¨Ready?¨

¨You know I´ll make you pay for this later, right, yoi?¨

¨I´d be disappointed if you weren´t planning to.¨

[st-louis]

JONATHAN DROUIN: 2016 every player on the montreal canadiens [10/28]

drafted 3rd overall by the tampa bay lightning in 2014

he is from sainte-agathe-des-monts, which is a picturesque summer tourist/cottage destination

he also played tennis when he was younger

in the 2013 qmjhl/chl playoffs, he and nathan mackinnon, playing under dominique ducharme for the halifax mooseheads, won the president’s cup and the 2013 memorial cup

somewhat infamously, one of his teammates kissed him right on the mouth during the celly

things in tampa did not go smoothly and there was some ~controversy over his attitude and feelings he should have cracked the lineup sooner

he was injured in the 2014-15 training camp and again bounced up and down from the nhl to the ahl

in january 2016, he was suspended without pay for failing to report for a crunch game against the marlies. according to drouin’s camp, a trade was imminent and he didn’t want to get hurt playing for an ahl team right before that; he eventually did report for duty

in march 2016, he was traded to the habs for mikhail sergachev, who’d only played a few games for the habs at that point, and a conditional 2018 pick

he immediately signed a six year extension

although he matched his career high point totals in his second season, he was always kind of a controversial player for the habs. they tried to play him at center, and he just didn’t work out there. there was always the belief that he “wasn’t trying” or took games off.

in 2019, he suffered a wrist injury (a torn tendon) and unfortunately, his shot was never quite the same / it never fully healed.

he was great in the 2019-20 playoffs with nick and army; he was stellar to start the 2020-21 season playing with nick and josh anderson

he has twice forgotten to take his skate guards off and fallen over. once he accidentally got some kind of irritating cream down his pants and started just. taking them off on the bench.

please enjoy this very cute video of him interviewing fans and like no one recognizes him which is also very bittersweet because one of them tells him not to take montreal too seriously

nicolas deslauriers would ABSOLUTELY NOT trust jo to babysit his kids for an evening (jo WOULD let nic pick his first tattoo... interesting) (nic deslauriers also believes that while jo is capable of pulling off a man bun, he should not -- the clear divide here between the hipsters and the non-hipsters in the quebecois contingent)

begrudgingly said phil danault would have better hair in 30 years but that he was going to watch the tape then to compare

phil would not let jo take his math exam for him

jo: what does your mom think of me? phil: no. put it back

picked shea weber as the smartest guy on the team and ben chiarot as the best looking guy on the team

possibly because of the nagging wrist injury, he had a hard time shooting, it seemed. although he was still getting some assists, his play definitely suffered

he’s a really talented player regardless, and was one of the best and most effective habs at skating the puck through the neutral zone.

he used to bag skate HIMSELF when he felt that he wasn’t playing well

media and fans online were pretty hard on and toxic towards him (phil danault spoke at length about how hard it is and how much pressure there is as a quebecer playing for the habs). towards the end of april 2021, he took an indefinite leave of absence for personal reasons and was placed on ltir. he did not return to the team during the cup run. it was truly sad what happened; you can tell how close the team is and losing him that way definitely hurt them and i’m sure that for him to do that, whatever was going on was truly unbearable. it was pretty brave of him to leave and could not have been an easy decision.

there is a lot of speculation that he will be traded in the offseason or will somehow end up in seattle. a change of scenery and to get away from the mtl hockey market/media might not be the worst thing for him.

wherever he is, and whether or not he chooses to play hockey again, i hope he’s happy and doing well.

[miss-kittys-magical-library]

In The Air Tonight

From The MoonBrella Academy

Word Count: 2300

Warnings: sex (penatrative, m/f), erotic asphyxiation, death, angst, PTSD, mentions of war, magic, general Klaus-induced chaos. GIF by @sheehanspam

A/N: During the summer of 1974, The Kostas family feels more than the oppressive weight heat. A true prophecy warns them something is on the horizon. Something that will set the course for the rest of their lives all thanks to the man out of time and a baby they promised to raise.

Honey found her balance after straddling Leon. Her hips rolled in a steady rhythm of back and forth. Her husband reached up to caress her breasts. She seized his wrists so tight, her manicured nails dug into her own palms.

Leon, switching gears, grabbed at them roughly instead. He pinched one of Honey’s nipples swollen then the other. They were lost perfectly in his grip as he massaged them, played with them as Honey rode him. He growled and she cried out before moving his hand towards her mouth to suck and bite at Leon's finger and thumb.

They were like a couple possessed. There was something in the air like static. Manhattan was the hottest Honey had known it to be. Everyone drifted slowly and drenched in sweat on the streets and in her apartment. It had been quiet during the worst of the heat. Only Diego and Klaus dained to still visit.

Earlier in the evening, up on the roof with their feet solidly in a wading pool, Leon and Honey sensed Klaus was uneasy about everything. He complained that the temperatures and the electricity in the air was suffocating him. Making his skin crawl as he stripped to his underwear. Everyone was in stages of undress, even the littles were naked and Honey topless.

“It's like Vietnam. The humidity is cellular. I feel strange and twisted.”

“Murderous, but fancy a good shag?” Leon’s query settled across the roof. “Like you could kill who you..” he mouthed fuck.

Two sets of verdant eyes gawked at Honey who suddenly sat up and covered her breasts. “Knock it off, the both of you. You're creeping me out.”

Somehow they made it through dinner and bedtime and MASH and Carol Burnett before Leon threw Honey over his shoulder. She squealed and mimicked trying to escape, but it only spurned Leon into grabbing a fistful of her ass. He maneuvered her around so she could wrap her arms and legs around him while they lumbered and kissed and undressed towards the bedrooms.

“Shhh,” Honey admonished with a strangled laugh. She pointed at the doorway to Sugar and Sunny’s room.

Klaus had passed out on the floor between the tiny beds, his head in his arms on his stomach. Sunny half poured out of the bed with a hand on his.. uncle? Brother? Klaus’s head, little fingers tangled up as he sucked on his free thumb.

Now here they were maybe hours later, insatiable. The air was stifling and had a magnetic crackle that raised the hair on their bodies as they kept having sex. Honey pushed it out of her mind that metal objects were slowly shifting in one direction as she placed Leon's hand around her throat. Her body rocked up and down faster.

There was a blue tinge to the sky and lightning. Heat lightning Leon insisted. It set Klaus on edge with the kids playing around him. He and Sunny tested out telekinesis while Selina danced to David Bowie. Her dark eyes were covered by Klaus’s literal rose colored glasses. He kept zoning out. Like he was waiting, waiting for the consequences of all of his actions.

“Tio Topolino, watch me!” Selina spun with her arms up in the air. Uncle Mouse. Klaus had been too hard to say before she learned her parents’ native tongues.

“Something is coming, Gracie.”

“Why would you say that, Leonidas?”

They were whispering in Greek. The littles weren't quite ready for Greek yet, but Klaus was born fluent. So they spoke in hushed tones on the fire escape.

“Doesn't it feel that way? The last few Weeks. Klaus usually leaves after a day. He's been here for nearly two months. There's bound to be repercussions, right?”

“Not much happened that he's said, or we read, as the result of Vietnam or 1960-1963.”

Leon rolled his eyes at his wife and made a tsk sound, “Just a bloody apocalypse or two. That Dickensian fuck who raised him got a whole new legion off it. Klaus talked you into having our baby. Then into taking another baby he stole. Skip a stone on a pond, and it makes ripples, don’t it?”

Honey hated when her husband was right. And her vagina loved how smart he was. She had looked in the window in time to see Sunny stand and toddle towards Klaus. His eyes glossed over and lost their irises. It was as if he had gone blind.

The parents scrambled through the window towards their son, but Klaus had him by the tiny hands. Sunny's pudgy fingers curled around his.. The larger ones for stability.

“Sunny?!” Selina shook her baby brother lightly.

“Klaus what the fuck? HELP HI-!” Honey yelled but Leon clamped a hand over her mouth.

“He’ll be ok,” Klaus sort of cooed. His voice was low and gentle. “I remember these. It happened so much when I was a kid. It's the innocence I think. I lost this ability because of Reginald.”

“He's in a trance, love. Like in all those movies with seances where the medium goes wonky, and they've got a message from the other side.” .

Everyone held their breath. Then a delighted shout came from the boy. “BIRB!! BEN!!” Then his eyes came back into focus; he threw his arms around Klaus’s neck. As if that was what he planned the entire time.

“Ben?!” Two men with the same face asked simultaneously. “That's my brother.”

“That was your brother’s name?” Klaus spoke first. “Maybe that's where I got it. When Mom asked us to choose our names based on our birth countries, I thought Germany was mine. My brother was Korean, but he couldn't settle on a name. Ben came to my mind. It felt.. familiar.”

Leon walked over to his kids and his twin, or clone, or whatever Klaus was, and picked Sunny up. The toddler stuck his thumb in his mouth and flexed and unflexed his little chubby fingers in his daddy’s long curls.

The matching mess of hair covered Leon's neck and chin as Sunny laid his tiny head down on the elder’s shoulder. The little yawned as his hand now absently stroked Leon's goatee.

“He died in Cyprus. He fought for Britain against our own people. He defected and was killed,” Leon said so casually. “He was 20. I was 16. It was really bloody difficult being an immigrant. A refugee. We left Greece during the Independence War when I was a year old. There's so much death, mate. All around us. I'm just really so sorry you and Nicklaus have to see it up close. I hope here, with Honey and I, they're a bit friendlier.”

Klaus had offered to conjure Leon's brother. His Benjamin. Leon declined. One day, maybe, but 15 years still wasn't enough time. That The Séance had likewise lost his brother in battle at the same age was empathetic enough.

Everyone was a bit melancholy, the air more humid with a spark, Klaus offered to get the littles to bed. Asked if he could crash in their room tonight instead of on the couch. The couple didn't mind.

Really, if Klaus could somehow, they both preferred he just stay here permanently. Honey could keep an eye on him that way. She and Leon knew Klaus had to go back and forth, maintaining his own timeline.

Except the last time he came was two years after he smuggled Sunny to his parents. He promised five minutes. This time it had been over a year. The Kostases were worried the next time he showed up, it would be the 80s. Or they would be old, their kids in their forties.

It was a silent agreement between Leon and Honey that they liked Klaus being around. “But what’s the price WE end up paying?”

Now there they were in the throes of it all. Honey encouraged Leon to tighten his grip around her neck as she scratched at his forearm. Their bodies gyrating in ways they hadn't in years. Not since before Selina. As if they couldn't fuck each other harder or faster.

Honey started to see black spots on the corners of her eyes. She relished in the struggle to breathe. Looking down, the blue tinted midnight sky with its wild lightning reflected back at her through Leon's eyes. He looked deliberate, livid. She knew she looked barking mad to him.

Honey tore at her tits and hair as she felt an orgasm coil around her sex and stomach. She was lightheaded and unable to scream out like always. She began to laugh as best she could like a woman possessed. Rode Leon through his explosion inside of her. She mentally willed it to get her pregnant.

Such a strange thing to wish for while Leon was killing her. Except he wasn't really, was he? Honey could feel herself pass out when there was a massive explosion in the sky over Manhattan.

Leon immediately let go of his wife. A blazing white light that blinded both of them filled the bedroom, and a squawking noise sounded from down the hall. Then yelling from Klaus lost somewhere in the present and possibly Vietnam. There was giggling and the patter of feet with more incoherent shouting and swearing from the littles’ room.

The bird noise only grew over the shouting, so Honey covered her ears to drown it all out. Leon looked stunned. Like he had woken from a terrible dream. That little girl laughter. The patter of feet running down the hall. The yelling and squawking all stopped. Cut off, as if the couple had fallen deaf.

“Mummy!” Selina exclaimed delightedly. It would be strange to Honey that her daughter had developed an accent like Leon's. Except that's who she spent most of her days with. Eventually Selina grew out of it, and Little Italy would take over.

“Can we keep him?! Are you and Papa playing?”

Honey knew Selina’s little head would be tilted. Little forehead wrinkled as it gathered between her eyebrows, tiny pink mouth slightly agape. How Honey loved finding more of Leon in her daughter every day.

“Keep what, Poppet?” Leon asked while helping Honey slide off of his lap. They weren't being modest, she just clearly was coming down from an adrenaline rush.

“This!” Selina held something large and black aloft. That squawking sound again.

Her parents froze. Selina held a raven nearly the size of Sunny in front of herself. It blinked its bright ebony eyes a few times, but was rather calm for being squeezed by a 5 year old. It, he. They knew it was a he. There was even affection on his face.

“Blimey love, whatcha got there?” Leon dared to ask. He was more fascinated than scared. The corvid set Honey’s hair on end.

“It’s Ben, Daddy!” Selina made a tsk noise and rolled her eyes. Little female Leon. “Sunny told us he was coming! The sky was filled with blue people, and Topo was scared. And Sunny’s little hands were blue and Topo’s were too and then Sunny started to fly. He's on the inside roof! Is he Mary Poppins?!” Selina could barely breathe, she was so excited.

“Those blue people are sad and Topo saw one and started to cry. That blue people is Dave. Then the bird came,” she held him out again towards her parents, “and he started making noises at all the blue people and they went away except three and Topo won't stop crying and Sunny is giggling. I'm tired. Can I sleep with you?”

As calm as they could muster, Honey and Leon got out of bed and put on clothes. Leon scooped up Selina who held the raven like a baby. Her dad ignored it. They made their way to the second bedroom where a blue light emanated into the hallway.

Like Sugar said, Klaus was on his knees crying into his hands. Sunny bobbed along the ceiling. He pushed off of it and bounced back up. The little boy’s laughter was a creepy juxtaposition to his older self gently weeping on the floor.

Honey knew. Leon knew. The “blue people” were ghosts. All of that static, that violence and heat in the air the last few weeks were the dead. Crackling and surfacing, begging to break through now that TWO mediums were together. It was, they immediately understood, Klaus’s sheer willpower that had held them at bay. But he was vulnerable, lost vigilance. They all broke through at once.

“Fuck me,” Leon managed at one of two soldiers. He was taller than Leon, but no mistaking his best of curls and angular jaw. Honey knew in life he had dark eyes. “Βενιᾱμῑ́ν?” Benjamin?

Dave, the woman knew, had been Klaus’s lover in Vietnam. He died saving Klaus and their regiment on the front line.

Except Honey could tell that wasn't true. The Commission had him killed to fix the timeline. They were different, not governed by violence more like stern warnings. As if parents instead of a dictator ran them now. When would they come to scold her family?

Lost in her worry, Honey didn't see the third man. The melancholic one with a cigarette perched in his fingers. He wore a giant suit jacket and equally large pants. There was a transparent tumbler of whiskey in his other hand.

This one, this ghost opened his mouth. At the same time Klaus sat up, his head cocked. Then he spoke, and a voice Honey hadn't heard in ten years came out.

“Hiya, Gracie.”

Honey began to weep. “Uncle Lenny.” She hid herself away so he wouldn't see the tears.

“Aw c’mon dollface. It's ok. I'm ok. I'm not ruining my life anymore. I do miss the stage. And Kitty. Tell Kitty I love her, will ya? And Honey, my Honey. That Kindergarten hooker. Spiteful bitch. I miss them. Proud of you, Gracie. We gotta go, ok. The three of us got wrapped up in all that jazz. By the way, cute little fuckers ya got there.”

Lenny tipped his head at Honey and Leon. Then he was gone. They were all gone. Everyone left behind in their wake to cry harder. To mourn in disbelief. Then giggling brought them all to.

Sunny floated down enough for Klaus to catch him by the ankle. He held the little boy to his chest, and Sunny patted him on the cheek. His hands weren't glowing anymore as he shoved a thumb in his mouth. Then, delighted, he gave a shout in the direction of the raven:

“BIRB!!”

@neuroticpuppy @nightmonsters @magic-multicolored-miracle @forenschik @super-unpredictable98 @ghouls-buddy @vonkimmeren @messengeronthemoon @frogs--are--bitches @bisexualnathanyoung @elliethesuperfruitlover @070188 @firstpersonnarrator @rob-private @duck-noises @sylvertyger

[imagineaworlds]

I Love You (Part Forty-Six) -- Aaron Hotchner

Written By: @desperately-bisexual

Request: None.

Warnings: SMUT!! Cursing. Dom/sub relationship. Sir kink. Phone(?)/Skype sex. Mutual masturbation.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Word Count: 11,148

Timeline: Two weeks after part forty-five.

I did everything I could possibly think of in order to make Hotch stay with me instead of going to the Middle East, all the way up to the point when he was getting on the plane. I went to him with case files every time I caught him packing in the bedroom. I thought that if I asked him for enough help since I was just getting back to work, I’d come off as a completely lost doe that needed coddling with cases and reports. I wasn’t, of course. Taking one look at most of these cases, I could deduce who the Unsub was without having to consult with the local PD further. As for the reports, they were pretty standard, too. But I was desperate for Aaron to stay, so I made an attempt to make it seem like I needed him there or else I was completely helpless. Unfortunately, Hotch saw right through me. He knew what I was up to, and he knew that I was just playing dumb, when, in reality, I would never ask for his help in a million years because I was always adamant about doing stuff like this on my own.

So, I had to get more creative. I started hiding his stuff. He would leave to go buy something or pick up dinner, and I would race to hide his suitcases or clothes in my car in the garage. He always found them, though. My last resort was practically dangling the black box in front of his face. I started lounging around in the bedroom, the black box just casually sitting in plain view—or sometimes, I’d even pull out a toy to have it just be there next to my thighs. I was practically begging him to punish me. I was giving him every reason in the world to just tie me up and leave me there until he missed his flight.

Yet, the only time he ever gave in to that ploy was when he came home to find me naked on the bed, my legs spread, nipple clamps hanging from my chest, a dildo thrusting in and out of me. When I cried out Sean’s name as a joke, Aaron wasn’t having it. He locked the door behind himself, stormed over to the black box, grabbed a length of rope, then proceeded to tie my wrists over my head. He pulled the toy out of me without any hesitation, and within an instant, he had his pants pushed down, and he was hovering over me.

“Fucking brat,” he growled in my ear as he thrusted into me.

I tried apologizing since I knew the Sean thing was a bad idea in hindsight, but he didn’t want to hear it. All he did was wrap his hand around my neck and gently squeeze until I whimpered submissively. By the time he was done fucking me, he had forced about three orgasms out of me while insisting that he was the only one who could make me feel that good. Not that I argued with that. He was entirely right, and we both knew it, but I poked the possessive button, and he fucking lost it. He wasn’t focused on anything but proving a point to me. The point was fairly simple, too. It was to say, “You’re mine. Only mine. No one else’s. The only name you should ever be screaming is mine.” And I did. I screamed his name as I tugged at the restraints and begged for mercy.

And then he still left.

The only person in the world who could love me, understand me, hear me, and fuck me the way he did was suddenly gone. I was all alone. I mean, of course I still had Jack and baby Emily, and the team was there, too, but it was so different. Everything just felt like it was falling apart so fast. I was furious. I was sad. I was confused. I felt entirely lost and lonely without him constantly around. And every time I looked at Jack—a blonde, but still spitting image of his father—my heart wrenched a bit, I didn’t know how I was supposed to do this without him. Raising Jack and Emily simultaneously while still going to work—and who knew what was going on with that now that Hotch was gone. It ultimately boiled down to the fact that the team had to go on a few cases without me. Between Emily getting sick and Jack’s soccer games and practices, I was struggling. I didn’t understand how Hotch did it as a single parent after Haley left him and before I met him.

Saying goodbye to him at the airport was one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my life. Watching him hold Emily in his arms, playing with her as she giggled and squirmed, then saying goodbye to her… It tore me apart. I remember feeling this chill run through my body before the tears started to well. I didn’t stop myself from crying. In fact, I didn’t even hide in Morgan’s chest to keep Hotch from seeing just how distraught I was. I wanted to know that this choice Hotch made was breaking me. I begged him to stay—I begged him to choose his family over work, something I never thought I would have to do in our relationship. And yet, he chose work over the baby we just had. For the shortest moment, as I stood there with the kids and the team, watching as Hotch boarded the private military plane, I felt like Haley.

After he landed in… Well, wherever it was that they had stationed him, we started calling each other every single day. Sometimes he could afford to talk to me and Jack for hours on end, but most of the time he could only talk for a couple of minutes—maybe even just a few seconds to say something along the lines of: “I’m so sorry, baby, I can’t talk today. I love you.” And then he would hang up before I could say anything. Those days were the worst. At least sometimes I got to see his face over Skype, and I could see that he was safe. He was dirty and tired most of the time, but he was alive, and that was what mattered.

Then, things at work started getting complicated for me, too, which made it hard to find time to talk to Hotch. Because of the time differences, I was always working when he was free, and vice versa. It came down to the fact that I was having to sneak in the calls in the janitor’s closet during lunch, which meant that he had to be up around 2AM or so just to hear my voice or see my face. We made it work, though. We called, and we talked about how much we missed each other, and I told him everything about the changes at the BAU.

Since Hotch left and Prentiss died, we had to fill spots on the team. JJ expedited the process to become a profiler by taking the courses at lightning speed and getting special permission from both Section Chief Strauss and Cody, the Director—which took some effort on my end, pulling some strings I had with him. Rossi was made lead profiler, Garcia was invited to sit in on the case readings more often, and I was… Well, Hotch didn’t need to know that quite yet. The timing just wasn’t right.

“Hey, sunshine,” Morgan said, running down the stairs. I craned my neck back against the couch, looking upside down to see that he wasn’t carrying Emily anymore. He must’ve set her down to sleep in her crib.

“Hey.”

“The little devil’s sleeping.”

“Figured.” I sat back up straight and went back to reviewing the case I was consulting on. “Thanks, by the way.”

“Anytime.” He came around the couch to grab one of his bags from the floor. “Hey, I’m headed to the gym. Do you wanna join me?” I shook my head. “You sure?”

“Yeah. JJ’s got me knee deep in consultations, so I need to keep going until I burn out.”

He squinted at me, a warning that we both knew that it was a bad idea. But it was better if I just kept my mind busy. Sitting around, doing nothing—or even going to work out while talking to Morgan or listening to music—was just going to tear me apart, because all I could think about nowadays was Hotch. I was beginning to forget the way he felt. I couldn’t forget his smell since he was practically everywhere in our house, but his skin against mine… I missed holding his hand, pressing my lips to his, running my hands through his hair, holding his face—Stop. See, that was exactly what I meant. If I wasn’t just keeping my head down and working on cases, then I was practically falling apart.

“Alright,” he finally gave in with a shrug. “I’ll be back in about two hours.”

“Or you could just… go back to your house,” I offered with a playful smile.

He matched my smile while winking and shaking his head. “Not quite yet, sugar. See ya.”

I waved with the back of my hand in his direction, hearing the door open then close shortly after. When he was gone, I relaxed, looking up from my paperwork in order to stare at the wall for a moment. I missed him. I missed my husband more than anything in the world. It had only been two weeks, and yet I never thought I could miss anyone this much. I didn’t even miss Elle to this extent—and she was my own flesh and blood. Did that make me a bad person? Maybe…

My phone suddenly buzzed with a text from Jessica, letting me know that she could pick up Jack on her way to our house so that I wouldn’t have to. I picked up my phone long enough to thank her. She really didn’t have to keep going above and beyond like this for us, but I was eternally grateful for everything she had done for us. I could say it a thousand times. I was grateful that she wanted to still be a part of our family after her sister’s death, and that she still wanted to lend a helping hand with my daughter that was in no way related to her. She was always kind like that. It set her apart from Haley ever since I met them; but I would have never admitted that to anyone now that Haley was gone.

Knowing that I had about another hour or two until the house would be full again, I decided to see if I could sneak in a call with Hotch. It was late enough there that his camp was either asleep or in full gear, ready to go out to do whatever it was their job was out there. I think the not knowing was the hardest part. I didn’t know if he was just training guys out there, or if he was hunting terrorists like Emily did before joining the BAU, or if he was on the front lines where he was facing the barrel of a gun every single day. I never knew whether or not I should have been concerned. He couldn’t tell me, and he was always the one person I struggled to profile whenever he closed himself off from me—which was why I absolutely hated it when he kept secrets from me, and that was why we made our deal to never withhold anything from one another ever again. But this was different. He was bound by duty and law to say nothing to me, and I couldn’t fault him for that.

I grabbed my computer and settled it on my thighs as I opened up Skype and started calling him. It hardly dialed three times before he answered. There was a slight buffer where he was frozen just as his camera turned on, but at least I could see his smile and his scratchy beard that was ever so slowly growing in.

“Hi, baby,” I greeted.

“Hey,” Hotch answered, “let me grab some headphones real quick.” He was digging in his bag under his cot in search of the pair of headphones I made him pack for this reason specifically. When he found them buried at the bottom of his bag, he sat back down on his cot, leaned against the fragile wall of his tent, and plugged the headphones in. “That’s better,” he sighed with relief. “Let me hear your voice, baby.”

I smiled. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…”

“Don’t stop,” he begged.

I winked at him. “How are you?”

“Tired. Bored. I miss you so much…”

I wished just then that I could hold him and kiss him. I felt this uncontrollable urge to somehow jump through the screen and fall into his arms. If I had him in front of me for even a moment, I would have thrown my arms around his neck and I would have refused to ever let go again. No matter how hard he would try to pry me off, I wouldn’t’ve released him. I would have hugged him until my arms would grow numb and my legs would give out. Even then, I think I still would have held on.

“Where’s everyone?” he asked.

I glanced over my shoulder at the empty house. “Emily’s napping upstairs, Jessica’s at the grocery store, Jack’s at school, and Morgan’s at the gym.”

Derek Morgan, as much as I loved him, was hovering too much. Since Hotch left, Morgan had decided to practically move in with us, choosing to sleep on our couch rather than his bed in his own house. I tried asking him once if there was any reason in particular that he was suddenly living in our house, and he insisted that it was to help out with Emily while Hotch was gone. While I did believe him, I also knew that there was more to it than that, but I always decided to not pry. Having Morgan around to help me and Jessica with the kids was a huge help, one that I honestly couldn’t turn down. He was so good with Emily, and even better with Jack. He was going above and beyond to help Jessica to make sure that I didn’t even have to lift a finger, even though I wanted to help. Morgan told me that my only job was to sit there, look pretty, do my work, and spend time with my kids. That was it. But now he was hovering more, and it felt like how Hotch was when I was pregnant. If I even tried approaching the stairs, Morgan was right there to make sure I wouldn’t suddenly fall. Even worse was how, in the field, Morgan was guarding me more with his body like he was ready to take a bullet for me at any moment. It was really, really weird, but I hadn’t found a way to confront him about it yet.

Hotch settled on his cot some more, the camera shaking as he did so. “What’s new since Sunday?” he asked me.

“Oh, boy,” I chuckled. “Derek’s going to be the bane of my existence, I swear.”

“Still bad?”

I nodded. “I’m almost tempted to just drive him back to his house and tie him to the radiator or something.” Hotch laughed in response. “I’m serious. He’s taking this godfather thing a little too serious, Aaron.”

“He means well.”

“I know he does.” I rolled my eyes. “But we hardly get moments like this anymore where the two of us can talk because if Jack’s not running about, then Morgan’s hovering to make sure I haven’t broken a bone while just sitting here.”

“Well, have you?” he asked sarcastically.

I squinted at him. “I swear—”

“What else is new?” He changed the topic as fast as possible, knowing that just talking about Morgan further was only going to get me worked up. I relaxed on the couch a bit more and brought up the collar of his sweatshirt to my mouth to hide behind it nervously. Hotch’s brows furrowed in response. “What is it?”

I pulled the hood over my head and whispered behind the fabric of the sweatshirt, “The other day…”

“I can’t hear you like that, baby. Sit up.”

I rolled my eyes at his command before doing so. I hated that we were left to just quick commands and that was all. There wasn’t enough privacy on his end for him to even say “good girl” … or, even better… “slut” or “whore”. I could tell that it was always hanging on his tongue, wanting to be said, but he had to hold back.

“Jack has a new favorite thing,” I explained once I sat up and stopped hiding. Hotch raised a curious brow. “He called me ‘Mom’ the other day.”

“That’s great!” he cheered a little too loud. He realized his volume quickly, checking his surroundings to make sure he hadn’t disturbed anyone, then looked back at me with a wide smile. “I’m so glad, baby.”

“Me, too,” I admitted. “I like it… I like when he says it…”

“What’s wrong, then?” he asked worriedly.

I sighed. How did he know me so well that he could tell that something was wrong even through the constant image freezes and buffers? Sometimes I really hated being married to him because he was a damn good profiler, and all it took was one fluctuation in my tone, and he’d know that the whole world was turning on its head somehow.

“I don’t want him to forget Haley.”

Hotch’s eyes softened and his shoulders fell. “Y/N, we’ve both talked to him about this a thousand times—”

“I know, Aaron, but I still worry. I don’t want to replace her.”

“You’re not. You and Haley are vastly different people, and Jack loves you both. That’s not a bad thing. It’s been two years, baby; we knew that this would happen eventually. It’s a good thing. You are his mother, Y/N. You’ve looked after him for nearly three years, and you’ve loved him every day since meeting him. You’re not replacing anyone. I promise, baby.”

I supposed he was right. It didn’t necessarily irk me that Jack called me ‘Mom’. Like I said before, it was honestly a relief, and I had felt my heart swell twofold, but there was something holding me back. I didn’t realize it until just then, but it was Hotch. I was terrified that Hotch wouldn’t like it, because that title originally belonged to Haley. Who was I to be Jack’s mom now? But Hotch seemed happy about it. He even managed to talk some sense into me, which was nice.

“Hey,” I caught his attention again. My voice had lowered in tone and volume, a silent signal that I had something serious I wanted to talk about. Hotch cocked a brow at me to let me know that he was listening. “I have to tell you something…” I fidgeted with the strings of his hoodie to keep my mind occupied. “I… I, um…” Why couldn’t I just spit it out? He would understand, right? He wouldn’t get mad. He’d be glad that I was honest with him. Right… I swallowed my pride and just decided to go for it. “I got a promotion.”

“What?” he chortled.

I nodded, understanding that he was a bit confused. Honestly, I was still confused about it all, too. When I got back from maternity leave, there was talk about how someone needed to step up to take Hotch’s position while he was gone. Technically, it didn’t need to be official, but Strauss wanted to make sure that we maintained a hierarchy until Hotch could come back and lead the team again.

At first, she offered the job to Morgan again since he had done it before and seemed to be pretty good at it, but he insisted that he didn’t need to do it again, therefore he wasn’t going to step up to the plate. I recognized that there was more to it than that, though. Morgan was nervous about taking the reins again because it was hard enough to relinquish control the first time after the Foyet incidents had concluded. If he took the job on again, he probably feared that he wouldn’t be able to give Hotch his job back. So, Strauss went to JJ. However, she turned the opportunity down, too, insisting that she enjoyed her job as was. She liked worrying about giving us cases, not running them. She wasn’t sure if she would even be good at it, so she passed. Strauss considered Reid before me, which was the funny part. Reid was a good kid, and he worked just as hard as everyone else, but he wasn’t a leader type. He seemed content with being the smart one and listening to orders. I wasn’t sure if he was capable of running a team and making smart calls. It just wasn’t in his nature, and that wasn’t his fault.

So, when no one else stepped up to take the job, it was left to me. Strauss asked me if I could do it despite having a new baby at home and having to raise two kids without their father around. I told her that we had Jessica, though I elected to leave out that Morgan was helping out, too; and I insisted that I’d be fine with taking on all of Hotch’s responsibilities until he could get back. That included taking charge in the field, doing all of the paperwork, talking with Strauss about decisions made in the field— the unfortunate downside of this promotion— and taking responsibility for any decision my team or I would make, good or bad. I knew that I could handle that, and I knew that I could do it well. So, the job became mine.

I was given Hotch’s office, though I didn’t change anything in it since it was still, technically, his, and I wanted it to continue feeling that way. Strauss dropped a stack of files on my new desk, wished me good luck with a wicked smirk, and the team all looked to me for answers. On the first case, I was a little… well… annoying, to say the least. I was trying too hard to fit into Hotch’s role, to take the lead as he would. While I wanted to make things seem normal and run smoothly, I obviously wasn’t Hotch, and I clearly thought differently from him while out in the field. It took me up until the next case to realize that I couldn’t be Hotch. I needed to just be me and run the team how I saw fit— while still keeping in mind WWAHD, of course.

“I don’t want the job forever,” I insisted to Hotch over the call. “We all still want you to come home and be our unit chief. This is just temporary, and I think that I’m not even that good at it, and I—”

“You’re rambling.”

I looked up at him through the screen. “Sorry.”

“Unit Chief SSA Greenaway…” he let the name roll off his tongue. “I like it.”

“Actually, I’m trying something new.” I blushed and hid my face from him slightly.

Hotch raised a brow. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. You’re looking at Unit Chief SSA Hotchner.”

Hotch’s jaw fell slightly. “You’re kidding. What happened to following in your mother’s footsteps, keeping your maiden name and whatnot.”

I shrugged. “It feels weird without a Hotchner in the office. Besides, it feels nice to say that my name is Hotchner. I probably won’t keep it that long, or I’ll stop when you get back because it’ll only confuse people, but—”

“You’re rambling again,” he teased. I blushed and hid my face even more. “Listen to me. I am so proud of you. You’re going to do great; I just know it. Don’t be nervous.”

“But?”

“But I don’t want you to stretch yourself too thin, baby. You know how hard it was for me to find time to come home to you and Jack almost every night. I just want to make sure that you’re still getting home to Emily.”

“I’m doing fine, baby. I promise. Besides, we’ve got a whole damn village here to look after the kids.” I laughed. “I think Morgan would kill me if I didn’t get home to Emily when we aren’t on a case.”

“Good,” he chuckled. “But you’re happy?” he asked sincerely. “You’re doing okay?”

I nodded and shrugged. “It’s odd to hear everyone call me ‘ma’am’,” I admitted. “It feels too formal.”

Hotch smiled. “You get used to it.”

“Yeah, but I miss calling you ‘Sir’... In more ways than—”

“Y/N…” he warned quietly, looking around his tent. “You’re going to be the death of me, I swear.”

“Hey, I still have the black box and privacy. I don’t have to worry about anything.”

“It’s been two weeks. You need a little more self-control, baby girl.”

I bit back a moan I felt rising in my throat. I really fucking missed hearing him call me that while he hovered over me. He was right that it had only been two weeks, but that was two weeks too long. Every morning since he left, I needed him desperately. I’d roll over, reaching for him, but he wasn’t there. I’d make two cups of coffee, and hold one out for him, but he never came to get it. I’d reach out to hold his hand while driving, but he wasn’t there, and I couldn’t kiss his knuckles. It was torture. But the worst part was when I’d be laying down, and I’d think about his touches on my skin, or his lips kissing mine, or curling my fingers around his hair… I’d think about him hovering over me, fucking me until I saw stars, grabbing onto my neck until I could barely breathe, demanding that I call him Sir, forcing whines and moans out of me, making me cum on his cock over and over again… Those were the worst moments. Not only because I missed him, but because nothing in the damn black box could do the trick like he could. There was something special about him being inside of me, or him controlling the toys. I could tease him all day about using the black box while he was gone, but the truth of the matter was that I needed him. Being away from him was tearing me apart.

That being said, I could still try to play my games. Our games, my brattiness, it was all what made us unique and so madly in love. Now that I had set up the mood for myself, and practically left him desperate for me in the same way that I had been desperate for him over the past two weeks, I could make my next move. “I’m sorry, Sir,” I bit my lip. “I just miss your cock so much…”

“Y/N.”

“Yes, Sir?” I asked innocently, batting my eyes at him.

His neck craned so that he could look around his tent for any sign that he would be disrupted. When the coast appeared clear, he adjusted his posture and looked back at the camera. “Shirt. Now.”

I gulped and shivered. “I thought that you couldn’t—”

“There isn’t much time. Do it now.” He was still looking around shortly, but I could see how his computer was shaking in his lap, accompanied by the sound of him fidgeting with his belt buckle. I nodded, sitting up slightly so that I could pull off his hoodie to reveal my bare chest. “Baby girl…” he moaned quietly into his headphone’s microphone. “Pinch your nipples.” I nodded and reached to do so, but he suddenly stopped me with, “I want to hear you, baby. I can’t be loud, and I can’t say much, but I want to hear you.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good girl,” he moaned quietly. I continued to move until my cold fingers ran over my nipples. My eyes screwed shut in response, and I let out a sigh. I pinched them, just like he ordered me to, and my head fell back against the cushions of the couch. “Are they sensitive?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Pull them.”

I did as I was told, lightly pinching and pulling at them like he would. Sometimes he wanted it to hurt, especially when he was punishing me, other times he just wanted me to feel the full force of how arousing it was. In that moment, I was imagining him punishing me, but it just didn’t feel the same. It was arousing, but it just wasn’t the fucking same. I wanted it to be him. I wanted him to pinch them hard while I squirmed under him. I wanted him to suck on them, maybe even gently bite at them. I just wanted more. I wanted him so bad.

“You look so hot, baby,” he moaned under his breath. I hated that he had to be so quiet. One of my favorite things about Hotch was how vocal he was in bed. He wasn’t afraid to moan or talk dirty to me. He always knew exactly what to do and say… All I wanted was to just hear him groan in my ear over and over again. “I miss you so much.” His camera kept shaking, and I knew what he was doing, but I wanted to see it. So, when I made my move to put my computer on the coffee table so that he could see me, Hotch got the hint. He moved his computer lower on his knees. I moaned and pinched my nipples again when I saw how hard he was while fucking his fist. “Your… your pants, baby girl.”

“Yes, Sir.” I lifted my hips off the couch so that I could push my pants down, which was just a pair of his flannel pajama pants.

“Fuck—” I heard him hiss under his breath once I was naked. “So beautiful…”

As I sat back down entirely, I could see how fast and hard he was masturbating, yet he hadn’t even given me another command. Asshole. I was dying on that couch without touching, yet there he was, already a mess. I wished that his hand were mine, or my mouth, or my dripping cunt. Anything. I needed him so bad. This was a relief and a change of pace since he left and all I had was the black box and the memory of what he felt like. At least this time I got to see him. But that still wasn’t enough to satisfy the urge building in the pit of my stomach.

“Please, Sir… Please… May I touch for you, Sir?”

“You wanna make yourself feel good for me, baby girl?”

I nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

“Do it.”

I reclined backwards, my fingers immediately finding their way down to my clit. I gasped, “Fuck—” I let out a shaky breath. “I’m so wet for you, Sir.”

“Moan my name for my baby.”

“Aaron…” I let his name fall off my lips effortlessly as I circled my clit faster.

“Again.”

“Aaron—” I gasped again as my walls clenched around nothing. “I miss you so much, Sir.”

“I miss you, too, baby girl.”

I looked at the computer to see him watching me intently, his hand fucking his length faster and harder. And then he stopped to rub his thumb over his tip. That was what I used to do to him all the time. It was the way I teased him. I didn’t realize he loved it so much. But seeing him do it of his own volition, then hearing him let out a quiet, helpless moan as he threw his head back against the flimsy wall of his tent. The image of him falling apart only made me go faster. I bucked my hips around for extra stimulus, and I brought my free hand to one of my nipples, pretending like it was Hotch’s mouth sucking and nibbling. Since giving birth, I was so sensitive. The slightest pinch set me on fire, and we both knew it.

“Fuck, fuck, shit—” Hotch pulled his shirt up slightly so that I could see the way his chest tightened. “I’m close for you, baby girl.”

“What are you thinking about?”

“You know I can’t—” he hesitated when he bit back a groan.

I knew that he couldn’t say anything too bad, so I had to do it. I had to tip him over the edge, and I didn’t mind. “Are you thinking about fucking me?” I asked. He nodded while still biting down on his bottom lip. “Being buried inside of me. Feeling me tighten around you as I get closer and closer to my orgasm.” He ran his thumb over his tip again. “Listening to me scream your name over and over again… Feeling as I thrash under you when you edge me.” I moaned loudly, throwing my head back against the cushions as the knot in my stomach started to tighten.

“Don’t stop.”

“Would you tie me up and edge me for hours, Sir?”

“Yes, brat. Any chance I could get.”

“Would you edge me until I couldn’t breathe?”

“Fuck, yes.”

“Would you cum in me to mark me as yours?”

Hotch flipped the bottom hem of his shirt into his mouth and bit down as hard as he could. Despite the fabric buried in his mouth, I still heard him groan so sharply I knew that he was cumming for me. I looked up just in time to see his abs flexing, his hips thrusting upwards, his cock twitching in his hand, his semen shooting in strings onto his chest.

I panted through asking, “May I cum for you, Sir?”

“Just for me, baby girl. Do it,” he mumbled behind his shirt.

I flicked my clit back and forth as fast as I could until I was nothing but a moaning, breathless mess, just as he was. “Sir!” My legs shook when I tipped over the edge. “Thank you, Sir—” My walls clenched around nothing as my orgasm peaked, then slowly started subsiding. “Thank you…”

“Fuck, baby girl.”

I caught my breath and stared at him. “I miss you.”

He reached to grab a cloth from outside of the camera’s view. “I miss you, too, baby. Next time…” He leaned back and started cleaning off his chest. “Next time, it’ll be in you. I promise.”

“They gave you a date you’re coming back?” I asked hopefully.

He shook his head. “No. But I’m still making that promise. I’ll break my knee if it means getting back to you soon.”

“Don’t be melancholy and hyperbolic, Aaron Hotchner.”

He chuckled and threw the rag to the side before pulling his shirt back down to cover himself. His actions sparked me to do the same, so I reached to put his hoodie back on. We were silent for another few moments as I got dressed again, keeping the hood up on my head to keep me warm. If someone came home now, they’d never know what happened. And we were just lucky that I hadn’t woken up Emily. Balancing keeping quiet for a baby and wanting to scream for Hotch until my lungs ached was… Well, it was complicated, to say the least.

“I’m not being melancholy,” he finally said with a laugh. It was like he suddenly realized what I said and had to speak on it.

“Yes, you are.”

“Fine. I’m melancholy because I miss you, Jack, and Emily so much my heart hurts. Is that hyperbolic?”

“No.” It wasn’t hyperbolic at all. I knew that because I felt the same way. His eyes softened as he stared at me. We had both calmed down, and now that the sexual tension was out of the way, all I could think about was how much I infinitely loved him. “I know that it’s selfish to say, but… I need you here with me. I need you to come back.”

“You know I would if I could.” He started looking around his tent frantically. “Y/N, I am so sorry—” He sat up. “I have to go.”

I stuffed my hands in the pocket of the sweatshirt I was wearing. I sighed and pouted. “I love you. Please be safe.”

He was already pulling out his headphones when he said, “I love you, too,” and then he hung up. I slumped and stared at the blank screen.

-----

criminal minds family: @peggy1999 @gorgeousdarkangel @alex--awesome--22 @oceaneblu @brithedemonspawn @absolutemarveltrash @bshelley322 @rousethemouse @sunshinepower17 @weexinling @pettttyyyc​ @Braty-angel

[alison-anonymous]

flawsome bandits pt. 8 ♡ sonic

Flawsome Revivals

Very important note that I would love for all of you to read at the end ♡

Warnings - much angst! Mention of death, FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF

♡♡♡   

This couldn’t be happening. It was insane how Y/n’s worst fear was something tangible. Something that she could feel as she pressed her fingers against Sonic’s slowing pulse. 

She was losing him… again.

Because she was a coward.

The tears refused to stop. Even when a crowd of concerned Green Hill citizens began to abandon their late night dinners and see why this glowing ice blue hedgehog was crying over another one that they could only identify as Crazy Carl’s Blue Devil.  Even when Tom and Maddie finally made it back to the scene and felt their own hearts begin breaking as they watched their daughter begin to sob over Sonic’s body. Even when the Egghead responsible for all of this began to make his dramatic descent out of the portal and took a moment to bask in the glory of their defeat. Her tears dripped onto Sonic’s fur as he tried his best to work his way out of unconsciousness, to let his crush know that he was alright, but his limbs felt like jello.

“P-please, Sonic…” Y/n sniffled. “Ge-get up…”

“Well, looky here! Bonnie lost her Clyde, oh, the humanity!” He let out his signature evil chuckle, raising his goggles on to his forehead. “You are such astonishing creatures, aren’t you?” On the ground before him, Tom caught sight of the bag of golden rings. He slyly picked them up and kept a close eye on the scene taking place before him as Y/n slowly raised her head up from Sonic to stare at the evil man in the drone. 

The tears continued to stream endlessly down her face as her gaze hardened.

“It’ll be amazing to take you back to the lab to perform some exploratory procedures. Any last words, Bonnie? Clyde?” He waited for a moment as the ice blue hedgehog’s grip on Sonic’s side tightened. 

“Go. To. Hell.” Y/n snarled, somehow managing not to choke on her tears. Her e/c irises began to glow a mystical blue as her emotions began to take a toll on her. Eggman’s eyes raised a little in surprise. Funny, he thought Sonic was the only one whose powers were affected by emotion. He shrugged and plopped his goggles back on. 

“I can’t tell you how many procedures have been made possible by animal testing. And how am I supposed to one-up others in my scientific discoveries if I’m in hell, hmm?” The whole time he was bragging, he didn’t notice Tom appear behind him and jump onto his drone. Y/n watched from her spot next to Sonic, putting her acting skills to the test. Tom was quick to punch Eggman in the face mid-sentence, initiating a very brave mini-battle between the two until Tom got thrown out onto the ground, groaning in pain. Watching Tom get shoved onto the pavement like that only made Y/n’s emotions grow more fierce as her body began to hum without any use of her vocal chords, an electric light blue pigment beginning to radiate off of her. 

“Why would you throw your life away for such useless things? You know, that’s why I don’t have friends.” Eggman rolled his eyes. Y/n’s eyes arched into slits, but for once she actually didn’t have to say anything as the townspeople began to gather around in an attempt to fight off the man. Apparently Tom had somehow gotten the word out already that the second hedgehog was his daughter, as even Crazy Carl was pulling out a chainsaw in order to defend the two.

“You leave those kids alone!” He revved it up.

During all of the ruckus, Y/n had been keeping one of her hands on Sonic’s neck in order to track his pulse, and her heart stopped dead once she realized… it wasn’t there anymore. Panic began to set in as she quickly turned him onto his back, shaking him roughly by the shoulders.

“Sonic? Sonic! No, no, no, no, no, no…” The tears began to spill down even faster as she shook him, every second with no response causing her heart to shatter a little more. “Please! I can’t lose you again…” 

Tom, Maddie, and the Green Hills citizens felt their own hearts break as they watched the scene unfold. Y/n’s body practically toppled on top of him as she pressed her forehead against his, her back racking with the sobs. 

Sonic… was gone.

“I don’t mean to be indelicate here, but someone should gather up a tub of ice. Keep the body fresh.” Eggman just had to chime in. His words only made Y/n cry worse, in her fit not noticing how her body began to hum the tune she usually sang. Her tears got soaked up into Sonic’s fur, in turn beginning to make his fur hum in return. Were her abilities… healing him? But how could that be possible? Could her powers be deterred due to the emotions she was going through? 

“I’m so sorry, Sonic…” She whispered, just quietly enough that he would have been able to hear. “I’m such an idiot…”

“Oh please, he was just a silly little alien! And so is she, regardless of pre-biology! They don’t belong here!” Robotnik cried out in frustration, angered that a death was getting involved in his plans to take the two and go. His insensitivity struck a flame in Tom as he turned towards the man, jaw clenched.

“Those little aliens know more about being human than you ever will. And they aren’t Bonnie and Clyde, their names are Sonic and Y/n. This is their home.” All the while he was talking, Y/n was finally finding a way to say what she had always wanted to say to him, her words coming out as soon as Tom had finished his.

“...I love you, too.”

Sonic’s eyes burst open, supercharged with energy. Electric blue bolts of lightning shot furiously out of his body, enveloping him in the light as he slowly began to rise to his feet. Y/n broke out into a tearful grin as she quickly scrambled to her feet, watching in amazement as the lightning cast brilliant blue shadows across her face, her own body becoming luminescent with her own light, the hum growing louder by the second. Through the midst of the dramatic moment, Sonic’s electrified gaze met Y/n’s luminous one, and he winked. 

Shit was about to go down.

“He’s all yours,” Tom spoke to the two, smiling thankfully as he pulled Maddie along with him to the sidelines, getting everyone to back up. Y/n turned back to her rightful side next to Sonic and they exchanged a small smile before turning back to the doctor, gazes hardening and powers maxing to the top. They saw a look cross over Eggman’s face that they hadn’t seen before as he calculated the effects of the two. They were both much more powerful than he had ever anticipated, super fueled by their emotions for one another and for the situation. One on one, he could have taken them. But combined?

Was he… intimidated?

“I think you have something that belongs to me,” Sonic spoke, forming a fist before him as it became supercharged with a clash of lightning. Y/n couldn’t help but swoon next to him, trying her best to recover from it before he noticed. Their combined electricity made Eggman’s drone begin to malfunction as he swerved in an attempt to regain control, Sonic’s bolts eating away at the control panel. 

“These are our powers, and we’re not going to use them to run away anymore,” He glanced over at Y/n for approval, who responded by grabbing onto his hand. Another clash of electricity gobbled up their physical touch as Y/n’s abilities began to merge with his, making the adrenaline go through the roof for the two. “And we’re using it to protect our friends!”

Choosing to take the silent route, Eggman slowly began to ascend, pulling on out the lasers as the tension began to increase like crazy. The lasers slowly found their way to Y/n and Sonic’s body, beginning to line up on every single spot of their electrical fur, especially near the heart. Any normal person would have ducked and ran for cover. But instead? 

They stood their ground, a slow smirk beginning to make its way across Y/n’s lips. 

Sonic gently let go of her hand as he began to get down into a runner’s formation, the lasers following his every move. Y/n squared her feet, placing her fists out before her and channeling all of her power (supercharged with Sonic’s) into her body, beginning to hum her signature tune slowly and methodically. The second that he launched his missiles, the two took off, racing and flying through the air. They had been practicing communicating without words for years and learning body cues, so the second that Y/n saw Sonic jump from the wall of a building to Eggman’s ship, she knew exactly what to do. With their combined forces, they began to pummel the ship by jumping from the walls and onto the ship and back again so quickly that they became nothing but electrical blurs in a moment, setting the whole city up with light. Robotnik did his best to take cover as the windows began to break from their impact, trying not to admit that fear was rising in his chest.

Finally, the two skidded to a stop a couple meters away from him, making quick look-overs to assure that they were alright.

“Oh, now you’ve done it!” Robotnik scoffed angrily.

“News flash, Egghead! We’re not leaving earth. You are. Star Chaser?” He looked over at his partner in crime, who flashed him a knowing smile.

“But of course! Donut Lord?” She turned to her father just as he pulled out one of the rings. He sent them a wink and threw the ring straight behind Robotnik’s ship. Robotnik fueled up his ship and launched it forward with just as much flame as his fury at the same time that Y/n and Sonic began racing towards it. In slow motion, the two began to form the position that Longclaw had taught them a very long time ago in order to use both of their powers to the fullest extent. While Sonic curled up into a ball, Y/n used her powers to float behind him, and used all of her might to give him a super charged push, sending him flying into Robotnik’s ship. As time fell back into place, Sonic burst into the nose of the ship, their combined power causing the entire drone to crumble into pieces, sending Robotnik’s screaming figure straight into the portal to Mushroom Land. The portal closed with a blinding bright light and Sonic and Y/n gradually powered down as the city erupted into applause. 

Sonic turned to his partner and gave her the cutest heartfelt smile she had ever seen, holding his arms out wide. She let out a tearful chuckle, e/c eyes returning to normal as she crashed into him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist and burying her face into his shoulder. 

He was alive. And he was okay.

Tom and Maddie jogged their way over to the two just as they reluctantly pulled away, cheeks beginning to turn a bright red as they realized they were going to have to talk soon. 

“You did it!” Tom cheered ecstatically.

“No, WE did it,” Sonic corrected, smiling at the two. Tom held up his hand proudly, and Y/n and Sonic jumped up and had a classic Three-Musketeers-inspired high five. A huge smile spread across his lips, and in his ecstatic happy fit, he did the only thing he could think of. 

He picked Y/n up by the waist and spun her around.

Y/n was shocked at first, but gradually began to relax into it, letting out a gleeful giggle until Tom cleared his throat and they both froze, Sonic holding Y/n up and her hands resting on the top of his head. Tom raised an eyebrow and Sonic quickly set her down, sheepishly putting his hands behind his back and smiling innocently.

“Ugh, Dad,” Y/n rolled her eyes, but smirked at her father. He simply shrugged.

“Just doing what dads do, kiddo.”

♡♡♡

A few days after the showdown, Tom and Maddie were enjoying a nice, quiet Monday when a loud knock came at their front door. The couple approached the door with caution, glancing at each other skeptically. Who would be coming to their door this late in the afternoon? They swung the door open to reveal a man in a very official looking uniform holding an envelope with two men in military uniforms standing guard by his vehicle. The man gave them a warm smile, causing the skin around his eyes to wrinkle.

“Good day. Are you Mr. and Mrs. Wachowski?” He asked in a deep voice. 

“Uh, yep, that’s us,” Tom replied. The man held out the white envelope to the two.

“A token of appreciation on behalf of your keeping quiet about recent incidents that never occurred.” A bit condescending, but who were they to decline a free compensation from the government, am I right? The two chuckled in surprise, Tom taking the envelope from the man and smiling at his wife.

“Wow, wonder what it is?”

“Money to fix the house?” Maddie suggested, her mind instantly going to the wreck that had been left in their place after their first run in with the crazy doctor. Tom nodded.

“Or a letter from the president?” He asked. The man simply smiled.

“You’ll see.” Tom finally ripped the envelope open and pulled out a slim piece of folded parchment. He smiled excitedly at his wife and flipped it open to reveal… 

“A… fifty dollar gift card to Olive Garden?”

“Have you tried the Never Ending Pasta Bowl?” The man asked, paying no mind to their obvious dejected expressions. “It never ends!” The two nodded awkwardly until Maddie finally broke the silence.

“Yep, well, thank you! We really appreciate the gesture.” The man nodded and turned to leave right before a question popped into Tom’s head.

“Oh, hey, I guess we can close the file on that Robotnik guy, right?” 

“I’m sorry, sir, but no such person exists or ever has existed.” He said blatantly, adding an emphasis to the final part.Tom nodded, clicking his tongue.

“Wish that were true.”

“You haven’t by any chance been in recent contact with two, oh, I don’t know, exotically colored alien creatures, have you?” The man asked, using small hand gestures as he spoke. It was quite obvious who he was talking about. “We would love to have a chat with them sometime, very casual. Maybe a brunch, perhaps.” 

Yes. Yes. They would take two very powerful alien hedgehogs who sent an evil doctor to another dimension to brunch. Totes casual. 

Yep.

“Oh, you mean the Bonnie and Clyde hedgehogs?” Tom finally asked, allowing the images of his foster daughter and Sonic to pop up in his brain. The man excitedly nodded. “Oh, no, no. Haven’t spoken to the two of them since the incident and probably won’t ever hear from them again.” The man stayed silent for a moment, not doing a very good job at hiding his skepticism as even when they bid their farewells and closed the door, he remained staring through the cracks until the door was shut in his face.

“To be honest, I’m pretty pumped about that Pasta Bowl,” Tom chuckled as the two began to walk back into their living room where their dog rested on the couch next to a certain ice blue hedgehog. 

“Not if I eat it first,” she teased, e/c eyes glittering at the mention of food. Sonic’s head popped up from behind the couch and he folded his arms across the top of Y/n’s head, making her ears go to the sides.

“So, you guys wanna watch a movie, or what?” He asked. 

“Sorry, bud,” Maddie sighed, leaning into her husband’s side. “But it’s a school night. Time for you to go back to your cave.” Both Y/n and Sonic’s jaws dropped open, the defenses piling onto their tongues.

“What? Mom, come on!” Y/n protested.

“Yeah, it’s only three in the afternoon!”

“You know how you get when you’re tired. And besides, Y/n has some homework she needs to get done without any distractions.” The icy hedgehog’s cheeks burned a deep crimson as her mouth clamped shut. Maddie giggled at her daughter’s reaction, watching as Sonic sighed in defeat, and slid over the couch to begin walking towards the door. Y/n was quick to follow after him. 

“I’m not like anything! You guys are so uncool! And I’m not distracting! Right, N/n?” He looked towards his partner in crime only to find her staring dreamily at him with her hand supporting her chin. She quickly snapped out of it once she realized he was staring at her.

“What? Oh, no, of course not! I concentrate just fine around you!” She lied like a sinner in church. A smirk formed on Sonic’s lips as he turned to grab on to the door handle.

“Hey, buddy, where are you going?” Tom asked, a knowing smile on his face. Sonic turned around and looked at the family in confusion.

“You said I have to go back to my cave.” 

“We did,” Tom looked over to his daughter and gave her a warm grin. “Y/n?” She took her que with great excitement as she rushed over to her crush and grabbed his hand in hers, practically dragging him all the way up to the attic. As they entered the room, Maddie switched on the lights to reveal an (almost) exact replica of Sonic’s cave back in the woods with some personal touches like a racecar bed, some holiday lights, and some pictures that someone had taken on the great escapades of the Blue Blur, Star Chaser, and Donut Lord. Sonic’s jaw dropped open as he raced across the room, taking in the grand gesture with a pure heart.

“Oh my god… you guys did this?” 

“Yep,” Tom and Maddie grinned next to their daughter. “You’re part of our family now, bud.” Sonic felt his heart melt at his words, it was all that he ever wanted. He jumped up onto his bed as the other joined in, Y/n and Sonic in between Tom and Maddie. They all exchanged a big group hug, savoring the sweetness of the moment.

“And Y/n’s room is right down the hall if you need anything,” Maddie chimed in. 

“BUT don’t get any ideas,” Tom quickly burst in, making Y/n snort.

“Dad. Don’t make it weird.” 

“It’s my job to make things weird.” 

♡♡♡  

What’s that? No? Flawsome Bandits ISN’T over yet? Even though Alison already reached the end of the movie plot line? That’s right, you incredible darlings, you! Flawsome Bandits is not ending at just 8 chapters! Now, I’m going to explain a little bit so please take the time to read this message. This next part of the story is going to revolve around what I am imagining a sequel to be like by analyzing the post-credit scenes of the movie and what I know about the very messy Sonic the Hedgehog plotline. That being said, it is NOT a sure thing that my ideas will become the very potential sequel. My main idea for the sequel is for Doctor Robotnik to be making his return to plot revenge against our favorite Bonnie and Clyde hedgehogs, but he can only make it back to the realm where Y/n and Sonic grew up and this will be how I introduce Knuckles into the story. I also plan to include Tails as well, and I’m still debating on whether or not to introduce Amy. Metal Sonic may or may not happen, but please let me know if you have any ideas of people or concepts you would like to see in these next chapters! I would love to have some suggestions as I’m looking for a love rival for Sonic (another character that falls for Y/n) and just to help bring more action to the plotline as a whole. There will also be TONS more fluff between Y/n and Sonic, so don’t worry, the gradual buildup was very necessary to prep you all for what’s coming ;) Needless to say, the next update might come a little later than how often I’ve been updating due to me still trying to figure out where I want to take this story. Like I said, suggestions are very welcome! I’ve been experiencing a little burnout, too, so perhaps taking a break to brainstorm with all of you is a good idea. Stay safe and bless all of you little darlings for sticking with me and supporting me through this flawsome journey. It is far from over yet! ;)

♡ a.a.

[not-a-perfect-metaphor]

Interview by Veronica Bianchi-

-paraphrased to include my favorite bits & alongside my crazy ramblings!

I feel like this must have been previously posted here, either in full or in part, beyond just including a quote or two in a compilation, but I can’t find it and I also don’t really care...because I’d post it anyway regardless lol, so...let’s get right into it:

••••••••

Interviewer: “Tough guy or softy?”

Jared: “People often expect me to be the gentle one of the two of us.”

Jensen: “That’s not just suspected. It’s also true.”

Jared: “Yeah, I admit...I can be a pretty big softy.”

Jensen: “Did you or did you not cry during Toy Story 3?”

(I just adore the mental image of J2 cuddled up watching Toy Story 3 together ❤️ and Jared gets all teared up into Jensen’s lap while Jensen pretends to be mildly exasperated but soothingly rubs Jared’s head and also finds it secretly endearing)

•••••

Jared (on his relationship with Jensen): “That’s almost impossible to explain. Nine months of the year we’re stuck together, but even when we’re not actually working during those nine months, or during the other three months out of the year for that matter, we always find ourselves choosing to be together.”

(This has obviously become such a famous J2-ism, and with good reason! My favorite thing about it is how Jared starts off by saying that his relationship with Jensen is impossible to explain, but then by the end of his answer, in one long sentence, he’s managed to pretty undeniably convey the fact that they are CLEARLY, CLEARLY soulmates who literally cannot be separated from each other.) 💕

•••••

Jensen: “If you compare our relationship to Sam and Dean’s relationship, there is a huge difference. Jared never drives me up a wall.”

Jared: “I wouldn’t say never.”

Jensen: “Not like you’re actually driving me up a wall. We can talk to each other about anything, do anything together...and that’s pretty unique.”

Jared: “Yeah! And whenever we’ve fought, it’s been for each other.”

Jensen: “We have that loyalty, and I can honestly say I’d jump in front of a bullet for him and never think twice.”

Jared: “And the best part of Jensen’s and my relationship is it’s gonna be that way while we’re doing the show and when we’re not. He’s stuck with me for life now, and that’s important.”

(I mean, what to even say about all this that isn’t already completely obvious? I will say that these interviews always make me nostalgic for the earlier days when the Js were so blatant about their much-more-than-platonic relationship in so many ways that it’s a miracle there’s a single person who was around for those years and paying attention who didn’t glue on the old tinhat.)

•••••

Jared (on their approach toward what they look like/style/etc.): “Jensen thinks he’s a cowboy.”

Jensen: “I’m not going out and buying a ranch or anything.”

Jared: “You still think you’re a cowboy at heart though.”

(I can just see it soooo clearly, cowboy Jensen! Also, we literally HAVE seen it now.)

Jared (to Jensen as he continues to answer the question): “I’m not wearing anything special, am I?”

Jensen: “Just flannel, like you and Sam always are.”

Jared: “‘Cause your clothes are always so stylish.”

Jensen: “They are.”

(another thing I can visualize so clearly, Jared huffily/teasingly saying “cause your clothes are always so stylish,” and Jensen just being like ohh “they are” with a little smirk.)

Umm and THIS is an obviously necessary addition:

•••••

Jensen: “I haven’t needed any salt yet to ward off evil spirits in my home.”

Jared: “We totally sleep with salt guns. He lies.”

•••••

Interviewer: “Nerds or lady-killers?”

Jensen: “Nerd!”

Jared: “Also nerd.”

Jensen (on females who are into them): “It’s flattering, but not something we concern ourselves with.”

(because they’re gay and also husbands, but...you know)

•••••

Jared (on possible work-opportunities outside of SPN): “We always make those kinds of decisions together.”

Jensen: “We don’t begrudge each other those kinds of projects, even though we call each other often to talk about how relaxed we actually have it on the set of SPN.”

(certainly not because they’re too codependent to make it through something like that without talking constantly on the phone or anything)

Jared (on working with Jensen again after or even during SPN): “In other words, soon you might be able to book us as a duo!”

(I’m having a memory now of least this one particular segment being posted, and I’m going to repeat the exact same thoughts: this always sounds so much like an engagement hint to me. 😜)

•••••

Interviewer (lightning round): “Hair color?”

Jensen: “I think I’m naturally like a dark blondish.”

Jared: “Okay, Ken.”

(OMG, guys, another one that needs to be added to the ‘things-the-Js-have-called-each-other’ post. But also, does that make Jared Barbie? Hehe)

•••••

Interviewer (lightning round): “Other person’s best qualities?”

Jared: “Great ass!”

Jensen: “Gorgeous laugh and smile!”

Jared: “He’s a great guy, a good listener…and he’s ungodly faithful.”

(the “ungodly faithful” thing is my absolute favorite)

•••••

Interviewer (lightning round): “Other person’s worst qualities?”

Jensen: “Oh god, here we go.”

Jared: “He is such a control freak!”

(first, how much more husbandly could they POSSIBLY be?? Second, an alpha Jensen reference! Be still my heart. ❤️)

•••••

Jared (his favorite book): “The Great Gatsby.”

Jensen: “You’re such a girl.”

(heh 😏)

•••••

Jared (on their favorite movies): “[Jensen’s] really in love with Clint Eastwood.”

Jensen: “He’s the best!”

•••••

Jared (answering for Jensen, favorite music): “-country.”

Jensen: “Yes, country.”

Jared: “I like country, but Jensen loves country. There’s nothing like being woken up at 4:00 in the morning to Taylor Swift.”

(the official end of the above sentence is “-blasting from the trailer next to yours,” but I feel like Jared totally just phrased it that way to ‘un-suspicious’ his answer)

Jared (continuing, to Jensen): “You love Taylor Swift!”

Jensen: “I know I do.”

Jared: “And here I was calling you a manly man earlier.”

(Me: *below*)

Do tell, Jared!

•••••

Interviewer: “Main ambitions?”

Jensen: “I want to be as good of an actor as I can possibly be, keep my private-and-family-life private, and put up with this one over here. (…)”

Jared: “(…) I want to be very thankful and appreciative and never let any of it get to my head.”

Jensen: “You won’t. I’ll keep you grounded.”

Jared: “I know. I’ll always have that to rely on.”

(Sooo many examples in this interview of the Js either literally talking about being together forever or pretty much literally talking about it: “I’ll always have that to rely on.”)

•••••

A couple of other favorite bits that didn’t make it in above:

Jensen (about Jared preparing to film a certain scene): “He’d been working out for weeks...with good results!”

(admiring those muscles, eh Jensen? 😉)

•••••

Jensen: “I prefer to keep away from the red carpet world of Hollywood and avoid the paparazzi.”

(because it ties into Jensen’s last answer about keeping his private life private)

•••••

Jensen (to Jared): “You sound like an extendz commercial, like you’re the ‘larger man.’”

Jared: “Well, if you want to put it that way…”

(*smirks*)

•••••

And I accidentally deleted this answer from above while editing:

Jared (after Jensen told the Jared-ripping-his-pants story): “I’m really thinking hard about an embarrassing story to tell about you right now, but I can’t think of any that wouldn’t get me into trouble.”

(at least half of the stories in Jared’s head were dirty in nature or revolved around dirty moments, let’s be real)

[taylordelaware]

As much as life has proven to me that I f**king should NOT, I kinda still believe-no, I know love.

No, not the "yeah, love you too" kind.

No, not the "I love you to the moon and back" or a quote you find on a $5.96 cup in Walmart with hearts on it kind.

Nope, not even the "I'm saying it because I want to mean it one day" kind.

The mind and spirit-melting kind. Something you've never felt before, even after all the multiple times in your life you've said you've never felt something like this before about different people. Someone told me once that when you know it, you KNOW it. The rare kind. It's fantastic. Some silver bullet or lightning bolt that emotionally hits you and physically rocks you with the impact. When the intimacy gauge is bouncing in the red every second in their presence. Like your world stops without them. If you're reading this, you probably have children. The moment you laid eyes on them. When your eyes sweat profusely through your tear ducts but nothing is wrong. That feeling. That one right there.

I am a 90’s R&B song right now.

I learned that even though love is a concept, the human brain always tries to rationalize it. That, is what keeps you at a safe distance from past and even possible future "interests" for your heart. You make sense of your insanity, because even the mentally unstable know that there is a rationale behind most craziness. Even behind yours, when the word love doesn't even begin to describe the feeling. Your brain goes slack-jawed trying to invent a new word for it but nothing ever comes out.

Some schools of thought (cough cough mine cough) knows that love isn't linear. You love, you lose. You love again. You lose again. You love again and well...you know how it ends. But each time you learn a little more about yourself, and how you choose to do it the next time it comes around. And...what not to do. Some find it, get it right the first time. They catch it, they keep it, cherish it forever and live the rest of their beautiful lives in their own perpetual insanity over each other. I salute you. But bam, asymmetry exists. First time, second or third. Or the ninth. Hoochie 😉

But for others, when they lose it, they know there is no next time. Days and (the worst) nights are spent emotionally executing themselves, thinking they lost that once in a lifetime thing. You missed that train, and now you are doomed to walk the earth for the rest of your days as a shell of your former self. Because you lost something that you will never have again. And the void will never be filled for the rest of your days because love no longer loves you. It's really a thing. It happens. Some of you are probably doing it right now.

Which one of you just said bullshit? Was it you?

Yeah it was you. Agreed.

It is.

Being able to give yourself over, or to have someone take all that you are (I do mean TAKE, and I do mean ALL) in exchange for only their praise in your courage to give yourself over so completely is as horrifying as jumping from a moving aircraft, but as beautiful as that feeling of flight.

Not to say that that you haven’t fully given yourself over in your past, you have. But when you are taken places intellectually, emotionally and...physically, it shows in your eyes, your willpower is broken. Oh my God this is horrifying but please don't stop...it is where it is. Where you find it. If you feel that you’ve missed that bus, you haven't. You may just be on the bus route taking you where you think you need to go. I'll say that again;

on the route that you

THINK

you need to go.

I am, by nature an anarchist. I like to do shit sometimes just to watch the world burn. But that's what makes me special. I defy the system just because it's there. The institutions of "you should be at this point in your job at this age", or "you should be married with kids by now" and my favorite "you should have this (material thing) at this point in your life".

GFY. No, seriously. GFY.

But most importantly, I stand openly in defiance at the fact that you think you lost your chance at finding something magical because you had it before. I spit in the face of the fact that you sit and pine away over what you had and will never have again while you still draw breath. Every second of every day is a chance to prove your own counterproductively-thinking ass wrong.

Every human being, no matter who they are or what they've done, deserve and want to be wanted. And I want that for you. And loved too. So catch another bus, just don’t plan the trip.

I love you.