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itstheghostofmypast · 8 months ago

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Thanatophobia

Idol Choi Jongho x (F)Reader

Summary: How long does it take one to actually give up on you? How long does it take the other to realise that love is more than just an act of receiving, where bottled-up fears and insecurities may be enough to pull someone away from you, especially the someone Jongho had begun to take for granted.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 2.4k

Est. Read Time: 20 min

Warnings: Strong language, thanatophobia (fear of losing someone you love)

Rating: PG-13

Networks: @cromernet @k-labels

Choi Jongho was anything but heartless, he was arrogant at times, he was stubborn most of the time, he was emotionally clueless sometimes, he was sarcastic most of the time, he was petty at times and he was straightforward most of the time, but what he was not, and he quotes, was a ‘heartless moron’. Now, he wasn’t one to fight, in fact, they’d barely ever get into a fight, usually because she would be compromising or choosing to accept defeat, but tonight was not one of those nights where he was given this privilege, where she would easily accept defeat and brush off his sarcasm, no, it just escalated into something ugly and gruesome.

It all started when he came home early for once, the dorm was empty too, or so he thought, for the moment he had flopped down on his bed, face forward, someone had jumped on him, scaring the daylights out of him.

“Boo!” “HOLY SHHHH- what are you doing here?” he whined, rolling over when she rolled off him, both of them lying on their backs, staring at the ceiling, well, he had his eyes closed, she turned her head to look at him with a pout, scooting closer, wrapping her arms around his arm as she pressed her cheek smush against his shoulder, enjoying the warmth of her baby bear, “I had the spare key, Wooyoung gave it to me last time I came over but you were out, so he was like I should have it, gave me his saying he’d get another one and-” Cracking open an eye he scoffed, “You sure talk a lot to Wooyoung huh?” turning his head to meet her gaze, she had stopped her monologue, to stare at him in utter shock, “What? I’m not wrong, I didn’t even know about the key thing- Sitting up she glared at him, “That’s because you weren’t home, Jong.” The tension between them was getting thicker, he was tired physically, but she was tired mentally, “You haven’t been responding to my texts or answering my calls, so I doubt you’d know- “I have a job, you know?” he scoffed, following suit, as she sat on his bed on her knees, frowning at him, and he sat at the edge of the bed, both in a heated stare off, he was actually waiting for her to avert her gaze, or mumble an apology or whine cutely to end the fight, so he’d feel like he’d won like he had control, some form of dominance, “I can’t just respond to your every whim.” That was probably what set it off, because the next thing he knew she got off the bed and snatched her phone off the side table, slamming the bedroom door shut when she marched out of the room, her tantrum just set the whole forest on fire as he marched behind her, slamming the closed door open and calling out, “Yah? Are you in your senses? Why are you being like this!?” reaching out to grip her wrist he turned her around, ignoring how she was trying to pull away, “What is your problem? Are you mad about the Wooyoung thing? Cause I’m right about that! You’re my girlfriend, not his!” by now he was yelling, furious, frustrated, fed up, but at what? At his hectic schedule or her? Or perhaps he was upset over how he was unable to spend time with her and the time he had been given was ruined by his own pride. “Y-You think I don’t know that?” she yelled back, snatching her wrist out of his grip, “I know you’re busy too, but the least you can do is leave me on read, can’t you? You don’t even open my texts! I can’t magically guess your schedule!” He should have stopped there, he should have, he had realised that he was in the wrong, but was he willing to accept it so easily? No. Why? Because he was jealous, he was upset and more importantly this was the first time she had ever ignored him, ever chosen to show how his nonchalant attitude had upset her, this was not what he expected, he just thought they’d go on for ten minutes and she’d probably change the topic, not list down why he’s a bad boyfriend. “Doesn’t mean you get all cosy with Wooyoung.” “I-” she stared at him standing in the hallway for a good minute before taking off her ring and throwing it at him, the clink of the gold ring hitting the ground resonated within the silence, before her words cut through it, “You’re a heartless moron.”

That was three hours ago, three hours ago when he had let her walk away like she didn’t even matter to him, instead, he stood there watching the ring on the tiles, the ring she had gotten for them on their first anniversary, it wasn’t a promise ring, but more of a ‘just know when we’re far apart across the world, you’ll always have a piece of me and I’ll have a piece of you’ kind of ring- why’d she throw it at him, shouldn’t she have taken it with her and asked him to give the one he was wearing back to her?

“I love how that’s the only thing you’re worried about.” Wooyoung sighed, climbing up the stairs, his phone sandwiched between his ear and his shoulder as he carried two bags full of groceries up the quiet staircase, “You’re a real idiot you know, she did come over three times last week, the poor thing sat outside the apartment for an hour the third time and that’s when I gave her my key…Hongjoong told me that was the right thing to do too.”

“I- I was busy.” The youngest huffed, staring at the gold band, twirling it around in his fingers, “It’s not like she told me, I was too busy to read her texts, so she should’ve understood-”

“Understood what? That you’re a shitty boyfriend?” Wooyoung stopped at a step, the step that led to their floor, someone was sitting on the floor next to the door to the hallway (Yes Woooyoung had used the fire exit to come upstairs, San had told him this was a great way to work out- he’d kill the bastard for that tomorrow), hugging their knees, head resting against the wall, puffy eyes closed- was she asleep?

“What? Why!?”

“Jongho, did you even call to make sure she reached home safe?”

“Well… I…no.”

“I’m amazed you found someone who loves your useless a**.” With that Wooyoung hung up, sighing as he walked over to her, placing the grocery bags on the floor to crouch down and gently shake her shoulder, “Excuse me miss, but are you in your senses- how are both of you this dumb?”

Jongho slammed the front door open, not even bothering to put on his mask as he hastily made his way out of the apartment, only to bump into a smaller form, hearing a familiar yelp he instinctively reached for her, wrapped his arms around her to pull her closer, pressing her against him. He let out a breath of relief, at the realisation that it was in fact her, she was too tired to pull away or even push him away, and that was why she just stood there, letting him wrap his arms around her, resting her forehead against his chest, too drained even to protest. He looked behind her to spot Wooyoung standing there, grocery bags in hand with the most disapproving look he could muster, “Found her on the staircase, poor thing cried herself to sleep there- then there’s you, a bastard with an ego as big as the sun-”

“H-her phone was powered off.” He quickly defended himself, pulling her even closer as he tightened his arms around her, not wanting her to escape. The moment Wooyoung hung up on him, he realised how bad he had f*cked up, Wooyoung was never one to leave a conversation hanging, that is until he completely gave up on the person, and if Wooyoung had given up on him, did this mean his patient, compassionate, honeybee had done the same? Though his question was answered with a loud sniff, causing him to look away from Wooyoung and look down at her, only to meet her teary gaze, his gut twisted at the way she asked the dreaded question with her voice trembling, as if it was being thrown around by her pestering insecurities, insecurities that he had brought to life, that he had helped manifest within her, by constantly pushing her to the sidelines, by ignoring her beckoning calls, by looking right through her even though she stood right in front of him, with a warm smile and a heart of gold- one he was not worthy to call his own; “D-do you not love me, anymore?”

It was this very question that had him look up at Wooyoung in panic, a cry for help, though the fox-like man shrugged and walked past them, mumbling, loud enough for him to hear, because he knew the girl crying in the younger man’s arms was sobbing so loud, the floodgates of all that pain and anxiety that was slowly drowning her had now enveloped her completely, leaving her a mess, a mess he was supposed to fix, so she couldn’t hear him, she didn’t hear him, when he side-eyed the youngest, and walked past them, “You f*cked up, fix it yourself,” slamming the main door shut behind him, finally leaving the two alone in the corridor.

An eternity later the two were sitting on the same staircase where Wooyoung had found her, the two were staring at the window ahead, she thought she was tired before, but all that crying just amazed her, at this point, she felt like she’d faint if he pushed any wrong buttons. Though they had been sitting quietly for the past hour, he had not uttered a word, which meant he wasn’t going to be the first to break the tormenting silence, as usual, it would be her, to kneel and-

“I’m sorry.”

Her eyes widened at the foreign choice of words, slowly turned her head to stare at him with shock through her puffy, swollen, eyes, licking her dry lips before speaking. Still, he cut her off again, this time turning to face her, the determination in his eyes somewhat scaring her, she’d only ever seen that look when he was going to sing a song that wasn’t the easiest when it came to the number of high notes, perhaps he was going to sing a perfect melody that was just for them, in tune with their pent up love for each other- for his locked up love for her, a symphony she wouldn’t mind hearing over and over again.

“I- I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but you need to understand I did not doubt your loyalties or misjudge your character, I was only self-projecting my insecurities, I know you’d never do such a thing, I know you love me and I- I” he paused, watching how her breath hitched, eyes widening in expectation, biting her lower lip unsure of how he felt about her, “I love you so much it turns me stupid- it scares me how much I want to be around you, I- I want to be vulnerable around you and…what if you don’t like it? You don’t like me when I’m not my at my strongest or my best…and I- I guess what I’m trying to say is,” he reached in his pocket to pluck out the ring, showing it to her, “Could you please find it in you…to give me another chance- you don’t have to say yes right away, I won’t force you, I could never…just…let me drop you home this time…yeah?”

She stared at him quietly, blinking slowly as his words processed before letting out a sigh, scooting closer as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, burying her face in his neck as she placed a soft kiss against his warm skin, sighing when she felt him pull her closer, gripping him tighter when she heard him sniff, feel his body trembling against hers, letting him finally let it all out against her, but never looking up, her face buried in the crook of his neck, mumbling sweet positive affirmations or kissing the skin as she let him have his moment, only to feel him slowly push her away, looking down at her with puffy eyes that matched hers, and a nose pinker than hers, “Please…stay.”

“I wasn’t going anywhere, you dummy.” Sighing she pulled off him, taking the ring from him but he didn’t let her, instead, he slipped it back on her finger, “I was waiting for you to come and give this to me…if I wanted to leave you for good, I would’ve told you to give me the ring you’re wearing back.”

Letting out a dry chuckle he shook his head, he was an idiot, one who couldn’t read situations as well as he boasted that he could- he guessed he was clueless when it came to love, at least he had someone as patient as her to help him pull through his minefield, frolicking through it like it was a field of daisies.

“Thank you…” he sighed and pressed his forehead against hers, before leaning closer to capture her lips in a kiss, only to realise how long it had been since he had kissed her, making him pull her closer, cupping her face as he tried to make up for lost time.

Finally pulling back she smiled at him out of breath, watching how he took in equally deep breaths, his cheeks all puffed out and pink, “I’m out of practice.”

“Don’t worry, we’ve got all night.” She smiled.

“I prefer taking things to the bedroom, not a voyeurism guy.”

“Choi Jongho.”

“I love you” he chuckled, watching her shake her head in defeat as he pulled her up to her feet, laughing when she whined at how he was speed walking to the apartment, mumbling, “Do you want me to carry you? Because I will, for as long as you want, honeybee.” And that’s what Wooyoung saw before Jongho closed his bedroom door, carrying her half-asleep form in his arms, bridal style as he mouthed a thank you to Wooyoung before going to finally cuddle up next to her like she had originally planned for the night.

Taglist: @edenesth @yessa-vie @mlysalt @the-kpop-simp @spooo00oky

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mashioca · 1 year ago

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Sweet Nightmares

|Solomon x FEM!Reader|

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You jerk awake, a cold sweat trickling down your neck. You look over across the room to see none other than Solomon. His eyes are filled with worry; he seems to lighten up a bit seeing you wake up.

“MC! I was worried about you. You were moaning in your sleep.” He whispered, despite you both being the only people in the house. The memory of that nightmare flashed back. Solomon attempting to eat you for dinner. A shiver shoots up your back at the thought.

“Yeah.. I’m fine.” You reply weakly, rubbing the sleepiness from your eyes.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have watched that movie before going to bed. My bad, MC.” He apologized sweetly. Only a few moments later, he takes notice of your shivering figure. “MC, would you like to sleep here with me?”

"Huh?" You jumped at the sudden offer, heat rushing to your cheeks. This isn’t the first time you both slept together, but you could never get used to it. You silently nod your head and make your way to him. Your figure is easily towered over by his, and he pulls you in for a hug.

“I’m sorry, MC.” He let’s go briefly. “Is there anything I could do to make it up to you?”

You stop and think briefly. “Give me a kiss.” A red-crimson hue flushed Solomon’s face; he is clearly taken aback by your straightforward answer; he doesn’t back down, though.

“Very brave… I like it when you’re like that, though.” He leans down, cups your cheeks with his hands, and kisses you lightly. The kiss is sweet and passionate; it makes you crave more from him. He pulls back from the kiss, eyes locked in yours.

“Feeling any better?” He asks sweetly. Your heart jumps when he asks that. He chuckles, noticing your reactions.

“I can hear your heartbeat…I’m actually more awake now. I, too, can feel my heart beating really fast.” His face gets closer to yours, centimeters away from another kiss.

“It’s your fault for making such a cute request, MC.” He takes you into another kiss, this one more passionate and deeper. His tongue is dancing along with your own. Your thoughts are running wild. His hand lets go of your cheeks to instead touch your inner thigh, lightly caressing it. The sensation leaves you moaning between the kisses, your sex dampening with each second. After what seems like an eternity, he breaks the kiss. His breathing is heavy, a pink hue dusted along his cheeks.

“No, I shouldn’t. I don’t think I can hold back if I keep this up.” You pout; his teasing isn’t fair! You decide to get some revenge and grind against his thigh. Your body shakes as you begin to move to and fro on his thigh. Solomon’s eyes are filled with lust as the scene unfolds before him. His apprentice grinding upon his lap in retaliation to him stopping. His hands slide down to your hips; he grabs your hips and starts to make you rub against his thigh faster. Your mind is clouded with pleasure, unable to keep up with the situation; your arms are wrapped around Solomon’s neck; and you rest your head against his shoulder. Your moans are like a sweet melody; he can’t get enough of them. Your voice gets higher and higher with each passing minute, your vision is getting hazy, and you know you’re close.

“S-Solo..mon.. gunna.. cum..” you pant, you can barley get the words out of your throat. Before you could feel the sweet release, Solomon pulled you off his leg. You whine at the loss of friction, and your denied orgasm, but Solomon speaks up before you can say anything.

“Not yet, my little lamb." Your walls clench around nothing at the words. Solomon carries you away from the couch and towards the bed. He places you gently on the soft mattress. He looks at you like you’re his prey; you feel hunted under his gaze. Solomon slowly takes off your pajamas, leaving your body exposed to the cold air around you.

“My lamb… You’re already so wet.” Your walls clench around nothing once more. You swear you hear Solomon swear under his breath, but before you could dwell on that thought, he shoves three fingers into your sex. The sudden intrusion makes you yell out, not in pain but in pleasure.

“F-Fuck! Solomon..” Your sex makes lewd, wet sounds each time he shoves them back in. The pleasure is too much to bear. You squeeze your eyes shut, embarrassed at the situation you’re in. Just as quick as his fingers came, they left you once again. You slowly open your eyes once more to reveal that he has undid his boxers, pumping his cock, a bead of precum at the tip of it.

“Fuck.. MC, are you sure about this.?” Even when he’s worked up, he still makes sure you’re okay with it. You give him a warm smile.

“Please.. just fuck me already, Master!” Something about that name set a switch off on him. He quickly shoved his dick inside your pussy, making you squeal. He only gives you a moment to adjust to his length before going at a relentless pace.

“Fuck.. MC, you just love to work me up, don’t you? You wanted this to happen. He is talking to himself rather than you. Take all of my cum inside of your tight hole.” His pace gets faster with each thrust of his hips. You feel the knot in your stomach get tighter and tighter each time.

“Ah.. fuck.. S-Solomon.. gonna.. cum.” you moan between each of his thrusts, making it hard to get the words out.

“Cum around my cock; cum around me as I cum inside of you." His rhythm starts to get uneven. The knot in your stomach finally breaks, and you cum around his cock. Your body shakes; he doesn’t stop until he reaches his own climax. He chokes out a moan as he presses into you, spilling his seed into your quivering cunt. You both stay like this for a few moments, unable to move.

“T-Think you can sleep now.?” You ask, voice trembling.

“Only if I can stay with you like this." Solomon responds. You lightly tap his head and chuckle. You both later fell into a sweet slumber, filled with sweet dreams.

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Hello! This is my first smut AND tumbler post haha. Please do give criticism or give me requests :3!

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #solomon x reader #obey me solomon #fem!reader #smut #obey me smut #obey me fanfic

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wandering-words · 9 months ago

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I have THOUGHTS about 3.07.

Janine standing up to Barbara was so layered and special in the best way. We know that Janine traditionally was paralyzed by conflict: Vanetta and Ayesha would argue and Janine would be unable to react or do anything about it.

Then, when she finally gets the motherly love and advice and mentorship she deserves from Barbara, she’s so worried about messing it up that she goes into almost hero worship mode, internalizing Barbara’s opinion like it’s the only one that matters.

Gregory was the perfect person to tell Janine that she had to talk to Barbara because he’s the only one straightforward enough to give Janine a direct answer and honestly a wake up call about the way she’d been tiptoeing around Barbara, despite one of her plans actually working for once. Because up until that point Janine’s conflict avoidance had manifested into making sure Barbara was happy instead of being directly caught in the middle of conflict - she even actively avoided confrontation, likely worried that she’d be stuck in an argument again.

It was so important for both of their growths for Janine to do this: Janine needed to learn how to stand up for herself and not over-internalize others’ opinions (even those that she loves) and Barbara needed to learn that even though she’s right about most things, there are still times when she’s wrong. Additionally, the fact that it was implied that Barbara admitted in her review that although her experience wasn’t good she knew it was still a good program speaks volumes about Barbara’s character. Being able to admit you’re wrong, especially for someone as respected and as high caliber as Barbara, takes strength and humility and it makes me love Barbara even more than I already do.

So so lovely. A really nice surprise this episode.

#abbott elementary #abbott elementary spoilers #janine teagues #barbara howard #as Janine would say #woof

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sgiandubh · 10 months ago

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What about Grandma then? In recent days, that Barbour issue has been discussed in several corners of this fandon, as you said. Well, the day before yesterday Garance was posting stories showing off his Barbour coats...Obviously those two also follow the topics discussed on Tumblr. 🤷‍♀️

Dear Garance Anon,

You will have to forgive me for the very, very late answer. I wanted to give it my full, undivided attention, because I believe we never spoke seriously about Mrs. Mariline Fiori, aka Garance Doré.

The short answer to your comment is 'oh, but we know they do, as we know they are not the only ones'. Unlike S&C, though, the McGrandmas might see us as a free, useful toolbox of sorts, where readily available ideas congregate. Remember they have deliberately calibrated their public couple personas on exactly what SC are unable and/or unwilling to give/show this fandom. To some extent, it works and, as any good Frenchwoman, Garance understood she was savvy to play the atout charme joker card. Which is exactly what she does - also, being French, she knows exactly what type of European public is instantly attracted to the Barbour reference: a public whose wallets she needs.

But as I just said, your post made me think about Mrs. Doré. Who is she, really? So, sorry, Anon, if I use you as a springboard for my musings.

She was, as I said, born Mariline Fiori, on May 1st (same day as JAMMF, LOL) 1977, in Ajaccio, Corsica's main town and birthplace of Napoleon Bonaparte. Not a Corsican, though (same as Napoleon, LOL): Italian father, French/Algerian mom. People who left Algeria when it became independent, after the Evian Peace Accords, and whom the metropolitan French still call, to these day, 'pieds-noirs' (literally and quite derogatorily, 'black feet'). Her family's social status is, however, a bit unclear, as Mrs. Fiori successively played with her personal story in interviews, in what the French also sarcastically call 'des petits arrangements avec la vérité'/ a bit of tinkering with the truth.

In this 2019 interview to Elle UK, for example, her parents are described as owning a restaurant in Corsica (https://www.elle.com/uk/life-and-culture/a29758314/garance-dore-original-influencer/):

But in another 2013 interview to The Talks, her mother was a shrink (https://the-talks.com/interview/garance-dore/):

Also, for the sake of clarity:

Oh, well: different country, different crowd/market, different agenda and perhaps older and wiser when talking to Elle UK, you would think?

Not necessarily and still a divisive figure for the international press/blogosphere. People did not appreciate her frequent flying and luxury travels during COVID, for example, along with her 'white, bourgeois woman entitlement'. Both in New Zealand...

(Source: https://www.ensemblemagazine.co.nz/articles/garance-dore-new-zealand - I think you should read the entire article, as it is absolutely enlightening, also something I wouldn't go polemic about, you make up your own mind, really).

...and in France, where they apparently are not very fond of her 'cult of personality' approach to social media, to say the least:

(Source: https://www.madmoizelle.com/a-t-on-vraiment-besoin-de-preter-attention-aux-conseils-antivax-des-influenceuses-1145916 Non Francophones could use Google Translate, but considerably lose in doing so the ferocity of the writing - but then, again, the French press is particularly sarcastic & ferocious, when set against someone or something. I love them to bits.)

The translation is clear, and I deliberately did not insist on the political stance of the article, whose title gives a straightforward idea: 'Do we really have to pay attention to the influencers' antivax advice?':

'This influencer cannot singlehandedly convert a part of her fans to antivaxing, via Instagram, but this comforts those who already thought so and keeps them even more hooked. This is because Instagram is a social media whose model heavily relies on shared affinities, meaning that it congregates likeminded people and creates bubble phenomena, of which GD is a good example.

GD, who built an empire around her handle which she turned into a brand and transformed her own lifestyle into her best product might very well turn her cult of personality into an economic model. Many celebrities already do so and are perfectly entitled to. But in her case, we are not talking about sending a birthday personalized cameo, we are talking about dispensing health advice during a pandemic.'

Truly, Ha-wa-wee 2.0 sounds like kindergarten compared to the above and never made it so far and wide in the international press. But hey, don't we know, double standard is the law of this land.

But to cut the story short, because it's 5 AM in here and we'd be talking about Mrs. McGrandma until tomorrow evening, do we really imagine someone so well versed in the ways and means of social media not following Tumblr?

Yeah, thought so, too.

#anon #fandom #shitshow #BoozeWars

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nyerus · 11 months ago

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Hi, Nyerus... Long time no see.... 😆😘 Sorry I just got log in to tumblr again. Because of you, I got into TGCF 3 years ago, thanks so much.... 💐

I know maybe this ask have been ask before, but can I ask your top 3 (or top 5) fav quotes from TGCF and why you love them? Thanks if you want to answer....

Welcome back! <3 It means the world to me that I helped you get into TGCF!

My top quotes from TGCF have gotta be (random order):

"Only having met you did I rediscover that it's such a simple thing to be happy." This quote absolutely killed me on the SPOT when I first read it. 😭 Xie Lian realizes how revealing it was for him to say this, but he was completely honest there. He spent centuries alone, in terrible conditions, always secretly hoping that maybe one day he would find someone who would cherish him for who he was, faults and all. He didn't have much happiness in his life, but was grateful for every kindness he encountered. Now with Hua Cheng, Xie Lian is finally able to laugh again, to feel safe, and be truly happy. Such simple, human things that he'd forgotten due to how lonely and difficult his life was.

"To watch with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet being unable to do anything. That's the worst suffering in the world." This was so iconic of Hua Cheng, and it comes before we learn the truth of what really happened to him and Xie Lian in the past. It perfectly describes why he is the way he is, and it sent chills down my spine! I think it's quite underrated, as well. Hua Cheng saw Xie Lian harmed and ridiculed so much in the past -- he will not stand for a single instance more!!! ;o;

"You saved me. I've always looked at you. In this world, there are countless people more 'successful' than you, but none of them could have saved me like you did. None of them could have done those things you did -- You have no idea how much courage you gave me, for me to become the me today." This quote is from Hua Cheng in the final amnesia extra. That whole extra was very entertaining and fun, but then it hits you with this and I started sobbing like a baby hahaha! Once again, it perfectly encapsulates why Hua Cheng is so in love with Xie Lian: not just because Xie Lian caught him, but because Xie Lian saved him in so many ways. He was the only person in Hua Cheng's life (after his birth mom died) that showed him true compassion and gentleness. Who believed him, and believed in him. This gave Hua Cheng courage. And then he saw Xie Lian stand against the impossible to try and help others, and continue to do the right thing even when it caused himself harm. Something no one else would do. Of course Hua Cheng fell hopelessly in love.

"Something like saving the world, it really doesn't matter how you do it. But, although brave, it's foolish. [...] Although foolish, it's brave." I love this quote because despite how much he admires and respects Xie Lian, he isn't afraid to give his honest opinion on things as heavy as Xie Lian's very ideals. He doesn't agree with Xie Lian's morality, and doesn't think the common people are worth saving in the same way as Xie Lian does. I feel like sometimes, people get the wrong idea that Hua Cheng is a doormat who just goes along with Xie Lian's ideas -- but that can't be further from the truth. Hua Cheng is quite vocal and straightforward about his own goals/morality/etc. He knows it's different than Xie Lian's, but that's just who he is -- a terrifying Ghost King who will do things his own way. (And Xie Lian really really likes that about him, and wouldn't want him to change!)

"What matters is you, and not the state of you." First said by Xie Lian, and then repeated by Hua Cheng when Xie Lian needed to hear it the most! It's THE iconic, quintessential Hualian quote. So of course it's a fave!

Thank you anon for sending in this ask! I had fun with it!

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #hob #hualian #i took these quotes from the fanTL because it's the only thing i have on hand at the moment... my physicals are downstairs lol #so the wording might be slightly off compared to the official

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becauseimswagman1 · 2 years ago

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Study Session.

You are an intelligent girl. The second smartest in your class, the first being Mark Lee, so why was he standing outside your door asking for you to tutor him?

“Um, Mark?”

He could only stare at you in your after-school clothes, he’s never seen you in anything other than your uniform.

“Mark? Hello?”, you waved your hand in front of his face, even though you knew he was staring at your exposed legs and braless chest. He coughed and rubbed the back of his neck, face flushing red up to his ears, “Yeah um hi. I was hoping you could help me in advanced chemistry?”

You were confused since he was the first place in the current class rank, but you decided to indulge him anyway, getting a kick out of him staring at you, “Yeah come on in. I would love to help you.”

He stepped in, removed his shoes, and took a look at your house. He honestly didn’t know what to expect from it, but he knew it didn’t matter when he planned to get to your room.

“Are your parents home? I didn’t see either of their cars in the driveway.” “Come on Mark, we both know you didn’t come here on the night my parents weren’t home to get a tutoring session. It’s okay, you can say what you want.”

He could only blush more, “Nah, I really came here to study. I’m not understanding Stoichiometry all too well.”

You only rolled your eyes, “Follow me.” On the walk to your room, you could feel Mark’s eyes staring at your ass. You could only chuckle to yourself.

Mark sat on your bed as you sat in your desk chair in front of him, “Mark, you really came here to study a topic we haven’t even covered in class yet?”

Before he could say something, you continued, “I know what you came here for. Let’s not act like we haven’t been giving each other the eyes or that you weren’t the one that told all your friends you wanted to fuck me,” his eyes grow wide and you chuckle, “Yeah, Hyuck can’t keep a damn secret to save his or your life apparently.”

“So what if I did come over here to have sex?”

“Then strip.”

Mark was taken aback by your straightforwardness but he can only assume that you wanted him just as badly as he wanted you, so he stripped down to his boxer briefs. You bit your lip at his, admittedly unexpected, good body, “I didn’t know you had all that under your endless hoodies.”

He flushed pink and nervously chuckled at you, “I work out with Jeno sometimes. Just to give me something to do whenever I have free time…which is actually often so-”

You cut him off before he could start rambling by standing up and taking off your shorts, “I thought you came here to fuck, not tell me your life outside of school.”

He eyed you in just your underwear and a shirt and bit his lip, his semi-hard-on becoming fully erect, “Uh, right, you’re right. What do you want me to do?”

You wondered if he was a virgin, which wouldn’t be a problem if he was, you’d just want him to tell you straight up, so you asked.

“Are you a virgin?” “No, but I like catering to my partner's needs. Whatever they may be.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his answer. His need to serve his partners matched your need to lead them.

“Lay down then.” You watched as he got comfortable on your bed, a sight you’d love to have more often if tonight went well. Getting on the bed and sitting on this lap, you admitted how good he looked under you, another sight you wanted to cherish. You slid your hand up to his neck, fingers hovering over the pressure points to have him see stars before his actual orgasm, “Can I?”

He nodded his head, but that’s not gonna fly with you, “Use your words before I use your mouth and make you unable to speak.”

You felt his dick jump under you, “You’d like that wouldn’t you? For me to use you?”

“Yes.”

“I’m gonna use you, just in a different way.” you stroked his cheek a little, “Maybe next time I’ll sit on this pretty face.” then moved your hand back to his neck. “Now… can I choke you?”

“Yes.”

You wrapped your hand around his neck firmly and squeezed, just to test how he reacts to it. He lets out a “harder” and it shocks you a bit. Mark being a sub is one thing, but liking choking this much is another. You let your fingers tighten around his neck until you felt his hands gripping your thighs tightly, then you released. He sucks in air and rubs the outside of your thighs with his thumbs, “Fuck. Any longer and I honestly think I would’ve come.”

You got off his lap and got a condom out of your bedroom table drawer. That was all the signal he needed to take his boxers off. He laid back on the bed and watched you take your underwear off. While opening the packet and sliding it on him, his dick twitched in your hands. You thought it was cute that he was sensitive, it made you fantasize about testing just how sensitive he might’ve been.

You slipped your underwear off and got back on top of him positioning yourself so you could slide him inside of you, “You ready?”

When you got no answer, you realized he probably nodded. That just won’t do, you think he would’ve learned by now that you need to hear him, “Words or I get myself off and make you watch.”

“Yeah! Yes, I’m ready.” He gripped your hips to help you balance while you slid down him.

“Shit, if I knew you were packing this then I would’ve made the first move.”

After pausing to adjust, you started to ride him. A little slow at first to find a rhythm, but once you did Mark didn’t know what to do with himself. His small, notable thrusts upward paired with how good he felt inside you had you closer than you’d like to admit.

“You feel so good, Mark.” you rocked your hips faster, chasing the high that approached you. You clenched around him more and more, a sign to him that you were on the edge of release.

“Wait, shit, slow down. I’m gonna come too fast.”

You slowed down enough to just grind against him, “It’s okay Mark,” you leaned down to move his hair off his forehead, “you can come all you want to.”

Sitting back up to resume your pace, Mark could barely handle it. Every time you rose up he could see the way your wetness coated his dick, he could bust at the sight. Every time you dropped back down, the tightness around him felt like he was being suffocated.

He threw his head back, on the verge of losing his mind. “Fuuckk,” his words damn near slurred at how good this felt. His hands gripped your hips tighter as he was about to come, “fuck I’m gonna come.”

“Come on, Mark. Do it.”

The look on his face as he comes is damn near picture-perfect. The muttering of your name, the stuttering of his hips, and the little indents of his fingers against your skin you feel that are gonna bruise has you wanting to see what else you can get out of him.

So you pick up your pace once more, wanting to feel what he feels.

“Oh fuck, I’m too sensitive. Slow down. I’ll come again.”

“You got another in you, don’t you baby? Be a good boy and come again if you want to okay?”

You start to rub your clit at the same speed as your bounces, you’re so close you can taste it.

“I’m close Mark! You’re gonna make me come. Shiiit.”

A few more bounces and you come. Mark also comes again. You almost collapsed on top of him from how surprisingly intense it was. You caught your breath and rolled over next to him. You saw his eyes closed and toes still curled, “Are you okay?” His voice sounded so small when he muttered a “yes”.

You let out a tiny laugh, “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?” You went into the bathroom and cleaned yourself up, then wet a washcloth for Mark. You could’ve sworn you weren’t gone for even five minutes, but when you got back he was fast asleep.

Slowly wiping him off, you thought he would’ve slept through the whole thing, but when you got to his tip he woke up and spurted a bit more cum out on your hand. You licked it off and he groaned, “Don’t do that. I don’t have the energy to come again.”

“It’s okay. There’s always next time.”

You finished cleaning him off and sat next to him in bed when he started to sit up, “I should probably get going before your parents get back.” “Nah, not only are they not home tonight, but they won’t be back til next week. Tomorrow is Saturday too, so just stay tonight. It shouldn’t hurt right?”

Mark rolled his eyes, “Yeah cause I have no life right?” You sighed, “Yo, it’s not even like that. I was just hoping this wouldn’t be a one time thing.”

You lay down and held your arms open, “Now, come on. You look wrecked." He blushed at your words, he was also hoping you two would continue to do this, “I am not cuddling. Let’s just lay next to each other like you didn’t fuck the shit outta me, okay?”

“Mark, you’ll get your energy back a lot faster with a cuddle and maybe you can fuck me back in the morning.” He perked up at that and happily got in your arms. “You know I could get used to this.” “Cuddles only happen when my partner falls asleep after we fucked.” You were lying, but he didn’t need to know that.

“You’ve done this before?!” his sudden outburst had you looking at him like he was crazy. “Not like I expected you to be inexperienced or really experienced, but done this before in the sense that somebody has fallen asleep afterward with you before?” So, Mark is used to hooking up then immediately leaving? Yeah, that's gonna change.

“I mean, yeah. I’ve only had three other people fall asleep on me. It freaked me out the first time so cuddles became a regular occurrence.” Okay maybe it wasn’t a total lie, but still.

“Wow. Um, so, do I just go to sleep now?” “Yes, you do.” you rubbed his head to help him sleep and soon enough, he was out once again. Softly snoring against your chest. Eventually, sleep found you too.

Maybe this will become a regular thing between the two of you.

#becauseimswagman1 #nct smut #mark lee x reader #mark lee smut #nct u x reader #nct 127 x reader #nct dream x reader #x black reader

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armpirate · 8 months ago

Text

Soundleasure | Choi San || CH. 11

Pairings: Soft!San x fem!reader || Strangers to lovers, fake dating

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, online sex, ghosting

Warnings: inexperienced!San, fem!reader, masturbation, online sex, camboy, first times.

Summary: You can do whatever you please and be whoever you want on the Internet. And San knew that a little bit too well.

After finally following all the signs the universe was throwing at him, he started living a double life that no one was aware of. Everyone in his daily life knew him as Choi San, the reserved and quiet boy who wouldn't raise his voice, and would barely communicate with anyone outside of his comfort group. But only a few knew him as Soundleasure, the man with a sexy voice and a filthy mind that had their toes curling just with his narrations.

He never thought of the possibility of those two lives ever meeting, he had always tried for them to follow a parallel route and had always played safe to keep his friends from ever suspecting that side even existed. But his plans will start to crumble when he gets a little too close with one of his subscribers and she invades his real-self and altergo's universes without being able to stop it.

Y/n will not only help him to keep his secret from his circle, but will also show him there's more of Soundleasure in him than he'd like to admit.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Aprox. time of reading: 16 minutes

While the teacher was still going on on a topic he didn't pay attention to, San thought on how to reschedule his evening so he'd have time to record the content for the video and study after he met Y/n.

He didn't know why he rejected her at first the previous day, because he was dying to find the tiniest excuse to see her again. She offered it to him, and he rejected it without giving it a second thought. Not only that, but he also saw the way her glance turned sadder after his first refusal, letting disappointment take over it.

San didn't care how pathetic he'd seem sending her a text later to take back his decision, he didn't care how desperate he could seem by later saying he wanted to do it. He'd do many things like that just to hear her excited voice and her shy "Thank you" again.

He was so dumb for ever thinking of giving up the only chance he had.

When his phone buzzed, he couldn't help but smile at the idea of Y/n texting him to remind him about the plan they had. Although that smile suddenly turned into an annoying huff when he saw who it was.

Soulmate: Do you have something to do later?

San: Yes.

San: And can you stop changing your name on my phone??

Soulmate: It's better this way. It fits me more

San rolled his eyes before he changed his name back to the one he was saved as, before he touched his phone without his consent.

Woo: What are you going to do?

He hesitated on being straightforward with the answer. For his friends, Y/n and him were pretty much still together, it was nothing weird to keep treating her as his girlfriend with them.

San: I have plans with Y/n

Woo: Uhhhh

Woo: San and Y/n, sitting in a tree, KISSING

Probably he had known his friend for way too long, because he could clearly hear his voice singing that line while he read the text.

Woo: First comes love

Woo: Then comes marriage

San: What do you need?

He interrupted him, knowing Wooyoung would go on with the song lyrics if he didn't stop him.

Woo: My charger broke, can you buy me one?

San: Sure. Do you want me to bring it to your office?

Woo: Nahh, no worries

Woo: I'll borrow one from someone

Woo: Thank you!

And along with that text, the gif of a cute puppy sending kisses appeared on his screen right after.

Typical Wooyoung.

As the moment to see her got closer, his anxiety levels increased as well. He felt uneasy, nervous, unable to pre-plan all the possible scenarios that would lead after meeting Y/n. And, for a quick moment while he was on the bus to the mall, he was regretting ever telling her he'd agree on doing any of that. It was so ironic how he suddenly contradicted all the positive thoughts he could only think about not even two hours back.

Y/n: I'm waiting by the font

She let him know. San was aware she only did it to let him know where he was supposed to head as soon as he arrived at CambridgeSide, but that text added more pressure to the fact that he was just a few steps from facing her.

He was only a few minutes away, the fountain was right at the entrance and the bus stop wasn't that far away, but he for sure made it seem that it was further than it actually was. Whenever he took a step forward, he reconsidered what he was doing and took two steps back -he could tell those people around him thought he was crazy.

Y/n: I know it might seem like it, but I don't bite

How could he tell her that he actually wanted her to bite him, and suck him... and do everything she pleased to him.

Confused by her text, San lifted his eyes from his phone, catching a hand waving in the air not that far from where he was, aware that Y/n had been witnessing his weird walk and inner fight that kept making its way out of his mind.

—Ignore what you saw, please —he first said, as soon as he stopped in front of her.

—Why? —she giggled, standing up from the bench she was sitting at— I think it was cute.

She actually couldn't remember the last time a man was so nervous to meet up with her. She was so used to that toxic masculinity, as they tried to show off how confident they were, that seeing San struggling to meet up with her was kind of endearing.

—Did you come straight from class? —she pointed out, aware of his computer backpack hanging on his shoulder.

—Oh... yeah —he nodded, holding onto the strap.

—You should've told me. I'd have told you to meet up later.

By the way she was dressed, completely opposite to the laid back outfit she wore on Saturday night, he could tell she also came straight from her workplace.

—You also came straight from work —he noticed, pointing at the black briefcase that hung on her shoulder—. We should've met up later for you, not because of me. I usually take one hour to get home anyway.

Y/n giggled silently at his response, looking away just to get back to her neutral personality before she said something stupid or, even worse, blushed in front of him.

—I usually stay a bit longer in the office —she informed—, so technically speaking, it's the same. Let's not worry about that, then.

She made it so easy. She made everything so natural and light, that he wondered what was that thing that always made him doubt on whether to meet up with her or not.

—Why did we meet up here? —San finally asked, looking at the big "CS" sign on the top window of the building.

—Hmm, you agreed on faking the relationship in front of my dad —San nodded, encouraging her to continue—. I thought that maybe you'd need a bit of... tuning.

—Tuning? —he frowned.

She genuinely loved his style. San already gave the perfect college boyfriend with his gray hoodies and oversized t-shirts, but if she wanted her father to leave her alone with that whole thing, she needed a bit of help to turn him into the man that would go through the first filter in front of her father's eyes.

—What's wrong with me?

—Nothing —she answered fast—. You're fine.

Maybe a little bit too much.

—But you look like you're still in the first year of college, and I need you to look like you know what taxes are —she excused herself—. I knew if I told you I would do this, you wouldn't have agreed.

Although she wasn't exactly right. He probably would've hesitated a bit more at the idea of the var being a bit higher, but he probably would've ended up in the right same spot in front of her.

—It'll be just the outfit for the dinner —she added—. You won't have to pay for anything. I'll buy it for you, and you can keep everything.

—I guess that's right.

Her smile widened at his answer, squirming in excitement before her hand reached for his wrist over the fabric of his hoodie, dragging him inside the mall.

San didn't quite remember when was the last time he bought any clothes for himself, he was sure the hoodie he was wearing at that moment was part of his closet during his high school years. The only difference was that it looked a bit smaller than when he bought it back then.

They walked past several shops, although Y/n didn't even look at a single one of them. They moved all the way to one of the shops on the second floor, as if she had the whole route settled and nothing would manage to divert her from it.

As soon as they stepped inside, San could tell there was a huge difference in the vibe that store had in comparison to the others they walked past. There was barely anyone inside, except for the two assistants and the three suited middle-aged men looking around some of the hangers. The clothes were perfectly carved on the white tables, there wasn't a single wrinkle on either of them.

San followed her around the shop, while she looked through all the clothes that could convince her and, at the same time, fit him. Out of curiosity, he looked at the tag of one of the white shirts she had left back on the hanger before she continued with her search.

Three hundred bucks for a simple white shirt?

—Why don't we buy those clothes somewhere else? —he suggested— I'd rather you not have to sell a kidney for them.

She simply scoffed, finally lifting one of the dark blue shirts to his torso, checking the color with his skin.

—It's not like I can't afford it.

She left the shirt back to where it was, sighing.

Money wasn't a problem for her. Even after she gave up on half of her salary to keep two of her employees on her payroll, she still managed to save up some money. Unless it came to the repair of her car, which she knew would take her a few months of savings to be able to confront it.

—Still... there are shirts in other shops for fifteen dollars.

His comment almost got cut off by how close her hand was to his neck when she lifted another shirt, almost allowing him to feel the warmth of her body. Looking down at her was another big mistake, she was closer than expected, and he could almost feel his brain struggling to work out properly.

—My father would be able to tell straight away the shirt is fifteen dollars —she commented—. He's quite sensitive to fabrics and quality —she grimaced as she mentioned it—. I think this one would look good on you.

—That's why you didn't just tell me to buy formal clothes by myself?

—Ding ding ding —her fingertip hit gently the top of her nose as she momentarily turned to him—. If you're going to wear expensive clothes to fake to be my boyfriend, it's just fair I'm the one paying for them.

He continued following her around the shop, carrying the few things she kept picking up, along with two pairs of shoes.

As he zipped his pants and slid the belt through the thin spaces at the hip, he felt so strange. The pants were comfortable, and the fabric felt the nicest he had ever worn, but for some reason it didn't feel like him.

The curtain suddenly opened a bit, enough for Y/n to peek through it to see how it was going inside, causing San to jump and try to hide his exposed torso with the unbuttoned shirt.

—It's nothing I haven't seen already —she giggled at his slightly blushed cheeks.

She had seen further than just his torso in 4K on her screen, a few too many times since they started speaking, and he had been taking way too long inside the dressing room for her to think he could've needed help.

—If it makes you uncomfortable, I can wait outside though. I just wanted to check everything was alright.

—No, it's okay —he stopped her—. But come inside, the curtain is half opened.

After being aware, Y/n moved inside the wide dressing room he was at, closing the curtain behind her. Looking at him through the reflection, and admiring that new style on him, she was able to see how attractive that man actually was. He was already attractive, she liked his small details and how undercover all of his features went by his simple clothes. That style, and black as a color suited him in a way she didn't expect it would.

It was like his personality changed completely, and she could tell by the way his fingers moved up through his torso as he buttoned the shirt.

—If you stick it too inside, it'll be uncomfortable for you —Y/n mentioned, seeing the way his muscles started marking under the tight fabric of the shirt.

Her hands lowered to the edge of his pants, making him freeze on the spot as her fingers gently caressed his skin over his clothes while pulling the shirt up. When she looked up over his shoulder to check out his reflection in the mirror, their eyes finally met. Only then, hooked by those innocent and eager eyes, she was aware of how close she actually was, with her arms wrapped around him while her hands were still on his lower torso.

It was a gentle and simple touch with no further intentions, but somehow the environment got heavier once their eyes met. He didn't have to think of anything, he didn't need to come up with any fake scenarios, because the warmth of her body on his back was already doing all the work, feeling that familiar throb in a certain part of his body.

—Can you leave?

Y/n shortly frowned, looking up to him and having San looking down at her to reiterate how badly he needed her to get out of there before things turned worse.

—Please.

Before he could even finish pronouncing the word, her hands were already away from him and she stepped outside of the dressing room, assuring him she'd be waiting for him outside. San peeked through the curtain to make sure she was walking down the corridor, disappearing at the first turn to go back to the main shop.

He needed to get rid of the problem he was starting to have before it got worse.

—Okay. Disgusting things —his back was resting against the wall, while his head was thrown back as if that would help to eliminate every trace of proximity from her body.

When Y/n saw him again, she could tell he looked more relieved in comparison to how he looked when he was in the dressing room. Even the subtle tan of his skin disappeared for a moment back there.

—Is everything alright? —she finally asked.

—Yeah, it's just...

—It's okay —she rushed to say, when she realized how he was struggling to explain himself.

She crossed a limit, and San was too nice to tell her until it made him so nervous that he was forced to tell her to leave. She understood it.

He didn't dare to explain further, and confess she managed to bring out a side of him he didn't know existed. He didn't want to say out loud that he could go crazy with just a soft touch of her fingers.

—It'll be four hundred sixty five.

San squirmed at the price, making Y/n giggle at his reaction before she paid for the clothes with her credit card. She handed him the paper bag filled with his clothes and shoes, while she chatted with the assistant about one of the colognes on the shelves behind him.

—Yeah, my father went crazy looking for it —she commented—. I bet he'd love to know he won't have to order it online. Thank you so much —she smiled wide, attempting to step back.

—Thank you. Have a nice day —the young male answered back.

San followed her from behind, walking a bit faster to get to walk next to her as they exited the small shop. Right when he was about to speak, her ringtone blasted, getting her attention before he could even attempt to have it.

—I'm sorry. I really need to pick this one.

—Sure. I have to buy something, so I'll meet you up here when I'm done.

—Okay.

Before picking up the call, she waited for San to be far enough so he wouldn't be able to hear the call she was about to have. It wasn't like she felt like hiding it from anyone, but it just felt too complex to explain it at that moment.

—Miss Y/n? —a female voice asked from the other side.

She didn't really need her to tell where she was calling from. The number was saved, and it popped way too many times in the past two years for her not to recognize it.

—Yes. That's me —she sighed.

—Good afternoon, hope everything is going well. I'm Rebecca, from MST Clinic.

Y/n already knew that.

—I was calling to remind you there were a few tests pending from the biannual revision.

—Oh, shit —she muttered—. Sorry. I completely forgot.

—It's alright. We're here to remind you —despite not seeing her, Y/n could tell the lady was smiling just by her voice alone—. There was no date set, so I'm wondering if you have any preference...

—Next Wednesday could be?

She tried to remember whether she had any meeting scheduled or not, sure that she probably had nothing important for that day -and she'd probably be able to skip whatever came up.

—Wednesday... Eleven in the morning? —she suggested.

—Sure.

—I'd also like to ask: how have you been feeling? Has there been anything bothering you, any problems? Is your mobility correct?

—Hmm yes, for now. Since the last incident, I haven't had any problems.

—Have you adapted well to medication?

Considering she had been taking it for almost two years, it was quite obvious she adapted well to it. But she held back from letting out that harsh comment.

—Yeah, everything's fine.

—Okay, then —the woman sighed—. We'll see you on Wednesday. Have a nice day!

—Have a nice day you too.

Y/n took a quick look around, remembering how San mentioned he'd leave to buy something and come back shortly after, so she took the time to sit lean back on the crystal railing while she checked her phone -mainly concentrating on her emails and chats.

She lost track of how much time she stayed there, and how much time she spent there, but she lifted her head when she thought she had been there for a little bit too long.

And still no sign of San.

Her phone buzzed in her hand, thinking it could be him telling her to meet up somewhere else, or announcing he left, but a sigh of disappointment showed off when she saw her father on the screen.

—Where are you? I was going to invite you to eat something. Jennifer told me she didn't see you leaving for lunch today.

—Well, I'm on my way to have lunch right now —she sighed.

—By yourself? Send me the location and we'll eat together.

She was well aware her father had already eaten, but he was still offering to have lunch twice just so he'd eat, too.

—I'm not alone —she answered.

—Who are you with?

—My boyfriend —she rushed to say.

—That's great! Then send me the location so I can finally meet him.

—No.

—No? —a loud sigh came through the speaker— Why not?

—You'll scare him off. And he isn't ready to meet you.

—I'm eating no one —he tried to sound calm—. It'll be quick. It's either today, or this weekend. I'm just saying that, if it's on the weekend, it'll be just the three of us. You choose.

Which also meant he wouldn't hold back with some comments or questions.

—You shouldn't eat so much. What about a coffee instead? —she tried to negotiate.

—Deal —she felt relieved at her father giving in.

—I'm in CambridgeSide. See you at six, alright? At six —she remarked, hoping he wouldn't show up earlier.

And she agreed on meeting up with him when she had no idea where San was, she was the dumbest.

For a quick moment she thought that he possibly gave in to his instincts and left without telling her anything, although that thought disappeared when she saw him approaching her from afar. With one small difference.

At first she thought it was just the distance, then she wondered if he probably styled it differently while he went to do what he had to do. But the closer he was to her, the clearer it was that his hair looked shorter.

—I gotta go —she hung up at her father, unable to look away from him—. Your hair —she pointed out.

After he came out of one of the shops with Wooyoung's charger, he walked past a hair salon -not even taking two seconds to step back and stand outside of it. He wasn't sure at first, but there was something deep inside in him that was telling him to just do it. His hair wasn't a crazy length, just enough for it to be a headache to style it something, and to be forced to part his bangs because they'd get over his eyes if he didn't. It was a hairstyle that didn't fit with the clothes Y/n had bought for him, nor with the idea of the man her father wanted to meet.

A shorter hairstyle would probably work better.

—What?

—It looks good —she nodded, finally smiling.

—Ah, by the way —San started—. I'll pay for the clothes.

While he came up with several scenarios for the moment where he met a man he didn't even know the appearance of, the thought of Y/n paying for the bag that was resting over the small coffee table of the hair salon made him feel guilty. He got to the conclusion that the best thing he could do was to pay for all of the things that were in there.

—No, why? —she suddenly stopped, looking at him— I already told you it's my responsibility. Take it as a repayment?

—For what?

—You paid back my subscription —she reminded him—. And now I'm doing the same for you.

—Still...

—If you feel so bad, buy me something to eat —she interrupted him—. I haven't eaten all day, and I'm starving.

And she thought it'd also be a nice way to settle his role in front of her dad.

—You haven't eaten all day?

—No, I've been too busy to think about food —her head tilted to the side.

She had told him before how her stomach would completely go non-existent whenever her mind was focused on something, only able to feel hunger whenever she felt completely disconnected and in peace.

—You should've said it as soon as we met —he complained—. Let's go to eat something right now.

She wondered if it'd be a good idea to tell him then about what was going to happen, but then she thought that he'd probably get so nervous that he wouldn't take a single bite of his food.

She definitely couldn't tell him if she wanted him to enjoy a lunch he had been waiting for all day.

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kaepop-trash · 2 years ago

Note

In Rituals Johnny talks about the Tanzania shoot and now I’m really curious to know what happened during the trip.

And I have a question: before Jaehyun came back, for how long was the situationship between Johnny and S/N happening?

Ps: I love how you write your stories and especially the fact that you expande that universe based on the questions we ask you 💜 thank you

Uncharted

I'd say give or take they've been in their situationship for a year? I see it as them becoming friends two years before the present (when Jaehyun comes back and our story starts), and then getting together a year into their friendship.

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, penetration, dirty talk, hints at somnoplilia (they just dirty talk about it)

WC: 3.6k

—

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Johnny questioned as he sat down with their order, unable to understand why she was so shocked.

"You're asking me to come to Africa with you." She reminded him, "What?" She felt the absurdity of the statement as she said it out loud.

Johnny leaned back, an unassuming smile gracing his features. "Don't want to come?" He questioned, already knowing the answer. He reached for his iced tea, sipping on it with a smug grin.

"Of course I want to come." She sat up, looking and sounding as serious as a heart attack.

"Then what's the problem? My assistant can't come because she's sick so there's an empty seat on the plane for the taking."

"So do I have to be your assistant?" She asked, still dead serious as she reached for her carrot juice.

"I'll be my own assistant. You just enjoy the trip." Johnny rolled his eyes, grimacing when she took a sip of her thick drink. "Why are you drinking that?" He pointed his disgusted gaze at her glass.

"It's good." She shrugged, ignoring his incessant need to have an opinion.

"This is like the carrot cake thing again." He frowned.

"Carrot cakes are excellent. You're just a child who thinks vegetables don't belong in a cake." She rolled her eyes.

"They don't."

"Says the guy who unironically ordered zoodles at a restaurant once." She grumbled.

Johnny grinned, not having a retort or choosing to let her have the last word. He was also well aware of her need to run her mouth when she was nervous about something. She wondered if he was giving her a free pass out of pity.

She took a pause, teeth grinding at her bottom lip as she considered the matter at hand. "What will you tell your colleagues?" She questioned, smacking her lips together as a sign of discomfort.

Johnny knit his brows, looking as confused as he sounded. "About what?" He questioned.

"Me." She raised her brows, giving him a look that she hoped would voice her meaning.

Johnny paused, thinking about this like he hadn't considered that until this very moment.

"Does it matter?" He spoke after whatever crossed his mind. "They don't care. It'll be like it always is. You're coming on the trip because I wanted you to." He shrugged, unperturbed by the notion. It made her wonder if she was being over-cautious.

"I mean. You know, I was just wondering what people would think." She paused, giving her words a thorough consideration before speaking, "What you will say." She encouraged sheepishly, keeping a keen eye on him.

"I'll tell them the truth. We're friends." He answered with sincerity.

The truth was unfortunately, never quite as straightforward as Johnny wished it to be. And it became evident even before they reached their destination. As a consequence of an overdue meeting with the stylist and editor in chief, (Y/N) had to sit behind Johnny in the plane instead of beside him. The model she sat beside was pleasant but nosy, asking questions (Y/N) didn't have straight answers to. The truth, then, became a matter of what could be avoided so as to not lie outright.

The remainder of the 18 hours of the flight were an attempt to watch the available in-flight entertainment while she tried to keep her answers to the occasional questions from the girl crisp.

The time became easier to pass when the lights dimmed and everybody slept— including the girl beside her. (Y/N)'s own sleep eluded her thanks to the uncertainty she felt about what was to come. After watching two movies, eventually her eyes began to get heavier.

(Y/N) didn’t realise she had fallen asleep till a tap on her shoulder jolted her awake.

“Sorry!” Johnny hissed, bending down to meet her line of sight. Johnny's eyes travelled over her uncomfortably huddled form, "What's up?" He moistened his lips.

"Just taking a swim in the world's deepest pool." She yawned, stretching as an excuse to slither away from his scrutiny. "What about you?" She yawned the second time, eyes watering up from its intensity.

"Thinking about your lips around my cock." He gave her a benign shrug, only losing to an emerging grin at her wide eyes. Mid-yawn, (Y/N) gasped at his words, choking up a cough soon after. Johnny smirked like this was exactly what he was expecting.

"What is wrong with you?" She questioned, brows furrowing as she risked a stray look at the unconscious girl in the seat beside her.

"You know what, I realised, we haven't done yet?" Johnny questioned, shuffling a little closer to her.

She narrowed her eyes in thought, "Therapy." She hummed, brows shooting up when Johnny fell into an almost loud laugh. Before he could finish his thought, his editor-in-chief, Oh Sehun, stood up in the seat in front of them. Johnny sighed.

“There you are. I was wondering where you are.” He called out when he saw Johnny crouching right behind. “ I have an idea I wanted to bounce off you.” The man noticed (Y/N) after speaking, giving her a nice smile.

“Wow, he’s so hot.” (Y/N) whispered, unable to hold the thought down. Johnny gave her an amused smile, returning to his seat.

When they landed, (Y/N) got a welcome respite. Getting a word in with Johnny. Even his boss engaged her in polite conversation.

Oh Sehun was nice enough, inquiring about her boring job and trying his best attempt at interest. Yet, the entire time she spoke to the man, her attention was stuck on Johnny's eyes, burning holes in her. He stood beside Sehun, arms crossed as he watched her.

(Y/N) couldn't understand what was happening. His gaze remained on her, reckless and unflinching. She could not ignore it because she wasn't used to it in the presence of others. Johnny was attentive; it was true. But he was currently imposing in a way that made it difficult to keep up with the words Sehun was speaking.

"Wow, I didn't know that." Johnny spoke in response to some unimportant incident she shared with Sehun.

(Y/N) turned to him, needing to avert her gaze almost instantly. After feeling it on her for so long, locking eyes with him felt like both a respite and a hindrance. It made her surprisingly shy despite how used to his unabashed attention she had started to get. It still felt foreign when there was no privacy. She had to look away before his eyes burned her through.

"Do you like Elephants (Y/N)?" Sehun asked with keen interest. In any setting other than where they were, it would have been strange to ask. Which is why it took her a moment to remember where they were.

"Umm, sure." She said, collecting her thoughts halfway through her short response.

"(Y/N) prefers giraffes, don't you?" Johnny spoke, words slick with something thick and smooth.

It was an asinine thing to say. She had never expressed any such preference in creatures of the Savannah. Yet she blushed due to the implication alone, tone full of his indecent intention where his words were casual. When she looked up, he was no doubt staring at her flushed cheeks, the faintest smile on his face.

"I think they have those too. We're going to a wildlife reserve for our photoshoot. I assume you're coming?" Sehun asked her with a light shrug. She nodded, lips spreading into a grin because how could she not? It would be the most exciting thing she experienced in life.

After the conversation, the rooms were finally ready. Johnny picked up the keys to his room and walked up to (Y/N) before she could get hers. The act was committed with such nonchalance that it could have come off as a mistake. But she knew him too well by now, despite how laid back he was about most things, Johnny was not careless.

His lazy demeanor continued as he weaved an arm around her waist and dangled the keys in front of her eyes— and Oh Sehun's.

"Room's ready." He informed her with an unassuming smile. "Let's go and get cleaned up so we can rest before dinner." He tugged at her, either oblivious or willfully ignorant to her confused surprise. Her own keys were never picked up from the pile.

"I thought I'd never get you alone." Johnny groaned the moment the door to their room closed. Before she could walk away, Johnny's arms reached for hers. His fingers slid down her retreating arm before wrapping around her wrist. "Come here." He sighed, tugging her once. She stepped back into him.

"I'm tired." She whined when her back met his chest, "And so dirty." She pushed at the arm he wrapped around her waist, a half hearted attempt at pushing him back.

"We'll shower, later. Whatever you want." Johnny wrapped his other hand around her wrist, pushing it aside. "For now I just want to hold you." He tugged her closer.

Before she had a chance to feign more protest, he was embracing her. His arms squeezed her so tight she was scarce in need of a breath.

"Sometimes," Johnny bristled, wrapping his arms a little tighter. "In moments like these." He left the lightest kiss behind her ear. She pressed even closer to him, hearing his small sigh up close. "You're the only thing that I want." His lips brushed against her cheek, "Right now, there's nothing I need more than you." His lips pressed into her neck, leaving a sloppy trail of kisses.

She shivered, trying to move away from him to no avail. Her efforts, though, were half-hearted at best in the face of the beating in her chest. As much as she tried to ignore the things he'd sometimes say in the spur of the moment, certain things were impossible to repeat in her mind till they stained the inside of her head.

"Thanks for coming." Johnny's voice muffled in her hair as he took a deep breath.

"Thanks for bringing me." She lifted her chin the moment his lips pressed against her throat.

Johnny only hummed in response, his hands roaming her torso restlessly before stopping to hook his fingers into her waistband.

"I want a shower right now." She mumbled when his lips started trailing up from her neck to the corner of her mouth.

"That's a problem now, isn't it?" He spoke in the smooth voice that she knew. One that she only heard when there was no witness, never around other people. Until today, that is.

"Why?" She took his bait.

"Because right now, I want you."

She whined, the sound a product of both protest and butterflies. She tried to push at him lightly to give the former more credence.

Johnny smiled against her cheek, finding her efforts adorable, no doubt. Especially because she couldn't move him an inch. "We'll see if you still want one after I'm through with you." He challenged, teeth nipping at her earlobe.

"Johnny." She insisted one last time before she lost her heart. Johnny groaned in response and, much to her surprise— and slowly sinking disappointment, he actually let her go.

"Fine. Have it your way." He said impassively, leaving a lasting kiss on her temple. "We'll get back to this." He sighed, leaving a hot trail of slow kisses down her jaw to her neck. "Don't say I didn't warn you." He cautioned right as he planted his final kiss, pulling back and walking towards their suitcases. "I got this nice soap as a gift. Want to try it?" He asked her as he rummaged through his luggage. "You can shower first since you're so eager." His eyes danced with mischief as he tossed the bottle of shower gel without warning. (Y/N) yelped, barely catching the object.

By the time Johnny got out of his shower, (Y/N) was already snuggled comfortably into bed. Upon closer inspection it was obvious that she was asleep. With a smile threatening to lift his lips, he decided to get into bed too.

When Johnny stirred awake, the sun's rays had softened to what was clearly late afternoon. His grip was around her still, her arm wrapped snuggly around one of his elbows in a way that made Johnny's chest thrum upon noticing.

Feeling wary, like he still tended to feel sometimes, he inched a little closer to her. The disruption made her stir and Johnny froze, going stiff while she squirmed and groaned against him. He bit down on his bottom lip when she rubbed against him a few times, a loud huff leaving her lips before she finally turned over and buried her head into his chest, going still.

Johnny's sigh was loud and audible. He took another moment to put aside his growing grievance to take in how she clung to him. His chest warmed, thoughts bubbling and oozing over till the warmth reached his cheeks.

When she stirred again after almost an hour, it was with an audible groan. Johnny looked down, her lips twisting into a frown as her eyes fluttered open. A moment later, she looked up at him with half-open eyes, still lost to sleep.

(Y/N) took a moment before she finally caught on. Walking up to being wrapped around Johnny still felt new. A few months ago, she'd have scrambled off him with the deep red blush of embarrassment. But like all the other searing parts of this situationship, she was getting used to how she naturally gravitated towards him in her sleep.

"How are you feeling now?" He questioned. She closed her eyes with a deep sigh, taking a moment to reflect before she nodded reluctantly.

"I feel great." She groaned, looking and sounding the opposite of the claim.

Johnny's lips twitched, arms tightening around her without conscious thought or effort.

"Sure you do." He scoffed, ignoring the rising distress in his groin when she buried her face in the crook of his neck with a soft groan. "Then I suppose you're up for dinner with the whole crew?" He tested, smiling when she groaned.

"Sure." She replied after pulling back, giving him another reluctant nod as she buried her head in the blanket. "As long as there's food as a consolation."

Johnny grinned, grateful for her consideration. "Everyone's dying to meet you." He told her. Her eyes peeked out from under the shroud, brows knit together. Johnny scoffed.

"What did you tell them?" She asked skeptically.

"That you're just the funniest, most coolest person ever." Johnny teased, wrapping his arms around her to have his turn at burying his face in her neck. He pinched the sheet between his teeth, dragging it down.

"Johnny." She whined, "I told you not to make exaggerated claims, even as a joke. It puts too much pressure and I will never live up to the hype." She smacked his arm.

"It's the truth." He sulked.

"To you." She huffed, fingers sliding up to curl into his hair.

"Who else matters?" He mumbled, beginning to trace his lips up her neck. “As another funniest, most coolest person I am an authority on this.

"Johnny." Her voice was weaker this time, "It's not that simple." She gasped when he nipped at her neck.

He hummed, losing focus on the conversation and turning to different, more pressing matters. His traces turned to kisses, slowly turning heavier. Her neck extended back to accommodate him.

"You smell nice." Johnny groaned against her.

"Thanks for the soap shower gel, pal." She squeaked at a light nip, always reacting to him almost instantly.

"I've been waiting for you to wake up." He kissed across her jaw.

"Should have gotten started before I did." She teased him, coming to realise that he enojoyed that. Johnny's foreplay was conversation.

He groaned at her words, pressing closer until she felt his arousal. "I'll remember that next time." He promised. “For now, you’ve given me a problem that needs solving.” She gave him a compliant nod, eyes dancing with excitement that spurred him on.

"Turn around. You've left me hung dry for so long; you don't deserve to be warmed up today." She obeyed, flipping over and letting him press her against his chest. "You don't even need it, do you?" You're always so wet after waking up." He groaned again, bucking his hips into her back.

A slow hand traced down her stomach. Her breath getting shallower as his fingers brushed against the edge of her pajama bottoms. She sighed harshly when he undid the string, shoving his hand in eagerly.

(Y/N) shivered, Johnny's cold fingers brushed over the warm flesh of her thighs, kneading them slowly while he pushed her pants lower.

When his fingers ran over her clothed core, her head fell back into his chest. Her hips began gyrating against his touch without prompt, stuttering when she felt him push her panties to the side.

“John.” She gasped, hands trying to tug at his shorts. Without seeing them, her shaking hands could not do the job.

Johnny watched her struggle for a moment, pulling back to take it in. He took the moment to enjoy her desperation, revel in the fact that he was the reason for it. Then he lost the thin veil of patience, hand wrapping over hers. He helped her take his shorts down. When she turned back to look at him, her eyes were glossy in arousal. A breath escaped from between his lips like he was punched. With a hand between her thighs to part them, he entered her slowly.

Johnny’s eyes slipped into the back of his head, senses taken hostage by the pressure of her warm walls. He went still as he bottomed out.

“Always to gooey and warm from me after you wake up. Will it feel better when you’re asleep?” He groaned at his own words, hand coming to her chin to lift it up to meet her gaze. “Hmm?” He questioned. Johnny felt the shiver that raked through as the moment their eyes met. Just as she closed her eyes, her lips parted to say something that was dissolved by a moan as Johnny began moving again.

In a few moments, the room was littered with sharp breathing and tethered groans. (Y/N) kept trying to find purchase for her restless hands as Johnny danced between light and harsh strokes. She writhed against him deliciously, always so irresistibly receptive to his efforts.

His thrusts were shallow and sensual. She started to come undone against him slowly but inevitably. Johnny grabbed at the hand that she had pressed against his cheek, guiding it to her thigh. It was a silent request to hold it apart like he had been. When she obeyed, his hand came to her jaw, tilting it up to meet his gaze.

"Enjoying ourselves, are we?" He hummed.

She knew it was a trap. Whether she answered or held her tongue, he'd find a way to use it against her. So she nodded, giving into the growing rigidity in her belly.

“You didn’t even want it. Look at how nice I’m being with you.” He clicked his tongue, moving his hips in a new, sharper, rhythm that made her clutch and anything she could grab. “So hot, isn’t it?” He questioned, even interrupting his pace to get a clear response.

She nodded, “God, when is it not?” She groaned. In response, he snapped his hips, setting a newer, more brutal pace. Her lips fell apart, and Johnny scoffed.

“Such a slut for me.” He squeezed his fingers against her pelvis. With a surprised yelp, she writhed into an orgasm. Johnny followed soon after, going still with a soft grunt that made her tingle all over.

When Johnny rolled over, he took a moment to catch a breath. The next moment he chuckled.

“What?” She questioned, feeling conscious without any prompt.

“You never fail to surprise me. I would have never figured you like being roughed up as much as you do.” He chuckled again, breaking out into a full laugh when he turned to see her burying her face in the sheet. He laughed a little louder, reaching out to embrace her from over the cover.

"So." Johnny's voice trailed while he dredged two fries in too much ketchup. After spending another hour in bed, they gave into another compulsion— ordering room service. "Sehun likes you. It's kind of obvious." He continued, speaking to the food in his hands.

(Y/N) looked up, caught off-guard by the sudden encroachment of the subject. They had been eating in a comfortable silence, too jetlagged to hold a conversation despite never running out of topics.

Johnny must have mistook her surprise, a light chuckle following. "Yeah I figured you couldn't tell. Which is why I thought I should mention it." He shrugged, looking almost smug about it.

He was right. She hadn't noticed anything special about the man's attention. From what she had gathered, Oh Sehun was just polite. She did not expect anything more from a man that far out of her league. So while she was skeptical at best about the assumption, what surprised her was that Johnny brought it up so casually in a moment like this. Their bed was still warm right beside them while she was in his shirt.

"Oh." Was all she said, mirroring his laidback ease but giving her hesitation away. As her thoughts clouded over, she missed Johnny’s assessing gaze.

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fabaceous · 2 years ago

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do you think jackieshauna could've gotten together eventually if the plane didn't crash/if jackie hadn't died or were they doomed from the start?

hi anon i know this took a while (sorry) but it's because this is one of my favorite cans of worms to open and i had a lot to say. so thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about it ;)

my answer, depending on the day and my mood, ranges from NO to YES, BUT to NO, BUT.

NO, because i think that even on a pure friendship level they are doomed. their flaws were like, designed in a lab (or a writer's room lol) to tear them apart. jackie is insecure and holds on too tightly to shauna. shauna quietly resents jackie for it and fucks around behind her back. as long as they have these traits, their relationship is a ticking time bomb. they will never make it within ten miles of a romantic relationship because even their friendship is doomed.

NO, because even if their friendship doesn't implode, they are both simply too damn repressed to ever make a move. im not even saying this as a cop-out, like, i truly believe in my heart and soul that they both have latent romantic feelings for each other but they tie themselves in all sorts of pretzels to avoid it and i'll go even further and say they are both REALLY FUCKING GOOD AT IT. like more so than most people. given my own experiences denying my (in hindsight incredibly obvious) feelings for girls (and i SUCK at repressing things) i have no doubt at all that they could go the rest of their lives convincing themselves that some girlfriendships are Just Like That. the human mind is a very powerful thing and the human mind on comphet and repression? nearly unstoppable. and even if they dont have some world-shattering blowout, and their friendship just sort of fizzles out for some nebulous and ambiguous (read: gay yearning related) reason, years later they'll still be looking back at their relationship saying Huh. Wasnt That Weird...Well...Nevertheless...I'm Sure It Was Nothing To Worry About...

like, okay, im gonna spend a little more time with this one because i think their repression is so key to their dynamic. jackie is obviously unable to face any aspect of herself that is even remotely imperfect. gay feelings for shauna would definitely fall into that category given what i assume she has internalized from her parents and her peers and it being the 1990s. shauna, while more willing to accept her dark side, cant bear the thought of wanting jackie like that. its the one bridge she cant cross. she'll literally fuck jeff. fucking JEFF!!! before she lets herself act on desire for jackie (at least not in a straightforward/normal way lol)

i think both of them on some level must feel that they have a desire for each other, or else they wouldn't be so desperate to avoid it. but they are SO desperate to avoid it, and i don't really have anything to back this up other than my gut feeling but i just can't imagine them ever overcoming their respective hurdles of repression, and definitely not under normal high-school circumstances. MAYBE in the wilderness they would've had a chance IF THINGS HAD GONE VERY DIFFERENTLY because they would be free from societal expectations or whatever, and maybe a life or death situation could've given them enough of a shock that they'd finally own up to their feelings. but EVEN THEN, personally, i think it's still questionable. i think this is just so deeply rooted that it would be anywhere from incredibly difficult to impossible for both of them to get past it. (it's no good if only one of them overcomes the repression, btw. then you just have unrequited pining (but secretly actually requited but the other person won't admit that they're requiting it so it's effectively unrequited which would be perhaps even worse and more painful. btw. if you even care))

now on to the other options...

YES, BUT, even if by some miracle they were able to get past their repression and date each other, i guarantee you all their toxic habits would be not only repeated but MAGNIFIED by being in a romantic relationship. like, ok, the good news is, they would finally be free to be openly obsessed with each other lol. but... imagine jackie gets EVEN MORE insecure about shauna leaving her because now she actually feels like she has a legit claim on shauna being "hers". before, her possessiveness (for lack of a more nuanced term) was tempered by the fact that they are just friends, and shauna should theoretically be allowed to have other friends, even if jackie doesn't like it. but shauna should NOT be having other girlfriends. so jackie would likely be reaching new levels of terrified of shauna leaving her. shauna would still be unable to address conflict directly. rinse and repeat this whooooole vicious cycle until it blows up in their faces like laura le--[gunshot]

finally, NO, BUT, and this one may be controversial & a bit more far fetched than the others, but i do think that under the right circumstances they could kiss or even fuck without it compromising their repression. i actually even think they could have a sort of sneaky situationship while still repressing their bigscaryfeelings for each other. HEAR ME OUT. they are both very careful about compartmentalizing their desire for each other and keeping it hidden FROM THEMSELVES. they often fail and it boils over despite their best efforts, but the more important thing is that they think they're succeeding at keeping their desire from breaching containment. and as long as they have that plausible deniability where they are hiding it from themselves, even if they don't manage to hide it from the rest of us (or even each other), i dont think its impossible for them to act on the desire, like, on pure instinct, but without actually intellectually or emotionally acknowledging the larger implications that that brings. and even if the desire breaches containment, they could still find a way to write it off as just desire in general and not desire for each other specifically. especially when they also still have the excuse of being horny teenagers with no impulse control, they could easily brush it off as, oh, we were just drunk, we were just experimenting. or even, oh, it was just shauna, it's not like i actually LIKE-like her, i just made out with her, but its shauna, so it obviously doesnt mean anything.

and i think they could even do this consistently for weeks months MAYBE up to a year or so, while deluding themselves into thinking this is somehow normal or not a big deal. because they have already proven they are masters of doublethink and repression, otherwise we wouldn't have gotten this far lol. but it would 100% also blow up in their faces. the question is, who would crack first? who would want something real? or who would walk away because it got too real? theres sooo much to ponder with this particular scenario and it's all very juicy and compelling (and GOD would i love to see it unfold with my own two eyeballs, can bart and ashley please write and film an AU of their own tv show?!) but i dont think it would ever lead them anywhere good or healthy.

so long story short (lol. conciseness has never been my strong suit as is probably abundantly clear by now) i personally do not think there is any possibility of a satisfying happy-ending scenario for these two. and i personally am perfectly okay with that because so much about them would have to change in order for them to get a happy ending that at that point, they would no longer be the jackie and shauna that i know and love.

#anon did this answer your question. lol. sorry or you're welcome #also if anyone has anything to add. PLEASE i beg #whether its backing me up or refuting me id be curious to hear #esp about the last one lol i have no idea if that made sense or not the way i explained it #yellowjackets #yj asks

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soracities · 1 year ago

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I wanna know how do you read poetry,do you understand all poems when you read them for the first time itself like idk if it makes sense but here are some struggles I go through and I hope you can help me with them -- at times I am unable to understand poems and in those times i feel like I'm just going through the poem just to get over with it 2. probably has to be when i am unable to understand a word,I don't to look it up at that time since it will ruin the flow

oh no i definitely don't understand every poem the first time, not in the least--but i do, however, make sure to read almost all poems more than once--sometimes 3 or 4 times depending on how difficult it is, but i always make sure to look up any words or phrases i don't understand and then i read the poem again once i know what they mean. i understand your worry about interrupting the flow, but in all honesty: absolutely look those words up! if it really makes it hard for you to concentrate on the poem again, then look them up after your first reading, write them down next to the poem where possible, and then read the poem again. you don't only get one chance at a poem--and sometimes you need repeated readings in order to get used to the flow and the structure of a poem first so that, through that familiarity, you can start concentrating more on the words themselves (this is especially true for longer and more complex poems)

sometimes i think it also depends on what your reading background is, what kind of poems you're reading and what kind of poetry (or any literature) you're used to reading, because sometimes you have to adjust your pace accordingly: someone like Sara Teasdale is far more straightforward than Emily Dickinson, and you can't read them both the same way because they do not use their language the same way. for me the main thing is not really focusing on "understanding" a poem, in the way we usually mean it, and more about just letting myself follow the poem's own logic and structure: if it's a rhyming poem, or one with a very strong rhythm then i let myself by taken by that rhythm. if it's a poem with a very strong focus on a particular image, then i try to pay attention to that image as i read and what is being said about it (what words are the poet tying to this image? what kind of verbs, adjectives? what kind of tone or feeling do all of these produce in me?). at the end of the day a poem is not a maths equation with a single answer: it's journey and in that journey you are watching a landscape or a story unfold in front of you. the poet is trying to take you somewhere, not for the sake of getting from a to b, but in order to spend time w you as they share something that has caught their attention. once you give up on "understanding" a poem--by which i mean, wondering what the "correct" answer is, like in an exam, it becomes a lot easier to be receptive to the poem itself because you are no longer so worried about missing what it's trying to say--does this make sense? please feel free to message me again if this doesn't help anon and if you want to tell me what poems in particular are giving you trouble and i can try and help x

#ask #anonymous #book talks

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avacoleman · 10 months ago

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when the lights go out || a firstprince fic

summary: Henry Fox’s career is in crisis and his dating life isn’t faring much better either. After a chance encounter with a charming man becomes memorable for all the wrong reasons, Henry throws himself into his next assignment: writing the memoir of a beloved C-list actor. Henry, however, knows Alex best for the role he played as his random, awkward one-night stand. Henry enters their professional partnership keen on keeping their relationship just that. But after Henry confesses that their hookup was less than spectacular, Alex concots an arrangement that Henry is unable to resist. In addition to ghostwriting Alex’s life story, Henry will teach him a thing or two about satisfying a man. As they spend months out on the road together, they must decide if the connection between them is yet another story worth telling.

chapter 6/8 || rated e || read on ao3 *updates every tues. and fri. *

Miami, FL SuperCon Day 1 Their first day in Miami finds them at one of the city’s most notable radio stations just before noon. For months now, it’s been exciting to shadow Alex like this on different appearances, to get these glimpses into what the life of a Hollywood star is like. Through it all, Henry has most admired how completely down to Earth Alex is, seemingly indifferent to just how interesting a life he leads. The elevator doors open on the tenth floor and Henry instantly finds himself squinting against the sunlight that bathes the entire space in natural light. Employees mill about, some answering calls, others walking past quickly with their heads together discussing something. It’s all fast-paced and exciting and immediately, Henry feels swept up in the flurry of activity. He follows after Alex as he heads straight to the receptionist area. The woman at the desk is on the phone, typing something into her computer. She looks up once, then does a double take, her eyes widening just fractionally before she composes herself and finishes her call by the time they reach her. “Hi, I’m–,” Alex starts to say, but the receptionist smiles widely at him, already getting to her feet.

“Alex Claremont-Diaz, yes. If you could just follow me, please,” she says, smoothing out her dress and coming out from behind her desk.

Her heels practically echo as she leads them down the corridor. Henry takes in the different posters adorning the walls of radio hosts and promotional shots throughout the years for concerts the station has put on.

The receptionist rounds a corner and brings them to a halt just outside of a door paneled with a window. Henry gets a clear view of the studio and a man seated inside, fiddling with headphones.

The receptionist opens the door, gesturing for Alex and Henry to head inside.

The studio is just like any other, microphones and other tech equipment placed on a large gray table with swivel chairs around it. There are more posters inside the room, but also photos of presumably past guests. Henry sees quite a few familiar celebrity faces smiling back at him from their frames.

Introductions are made and the show’s host gives Alex a quick rundown of how the interview will go. It’s as straightforward as they come.

Henry makes himself into a fly on the wall, taking a seat on the sidelines, checking and double checking that his phone is off as Alex gets situated at the table and slips his headphones on.

A man in the adjoining room counts them down and before Henry knows it, on-air light flashes on, the host welcoming listeners to the top of the hour.

Henry isn’t even the one being interviewed, but his heart beats a bit faster, an antsy feeling sinking in. Alex, however, is the picture of cool as he sits back and makes himself at home as the host continues to speak.

“We are live and on the air with Crescent Valley star Alex Claremont-Diaz. You know him, you love him. And in just three days, you can see him at SuperCon here in fabulous Miami before the show returns for its well-awaited special. But enough of hearing from me. Let’s get into it with the man himself. Alex, it’s a pleasure to have you here.”

Alex’s smiles warmly and Henry recognizes that easy way Alex has of making people feel close to him. It’s the same way Alex has been this entire tour with fans all over the country. It’s the same way Alex had charmed Henry that very first night in New York. There’s a certain charisma Alex exudes that no one is immune to. Henry, arguably, knows that better than anyone.

The interview gets underway and the two chat for about fifteen minutes about Alex’s career and time on the show before the host winds down to talk about the upcoming special.

“Fans have been asking for this for years. How does it feel to be able to give viewers another look at the series?” the host asks.

Alex smiles a little to himself and there’s something almost bashful in his expression that Henry finds endearing.

“It’s nothing short of incredible. The support our fans have shown us since the beginning and all these years later means far more than I, or anyone in our cast and crew, could ever properly say. Their love and passion made this happen and I’m beyond grateful for it.”

Alex shakes his head, clearly taking a moment to get his thoughts together.

“This role launched my career. It’s given me the opportunity to interact with people from all walks of life, from all corners of the Earth. That’s a gift like nothing else. From all of us on camera and behind the scenes, I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who tunes in and I hope you guys enjoy it.”

The interview wraps with the host reminding listeners that Alex will be at SuperCon in a couple of days. Henry watches as the on-air light goes from red to gray and he finds himself wondering for the hundredth time how Alex is able to juggle this life. Interviews, cons, filming, photoshoots, it’s a complete whirlwind and yet Alex seems perfectly at home with it all. He supposes years in the industry must have made this all second nature, but Henry doubts the speed of it all would ever be something he’d be able to adjust to fully.

Alex takes off his headphones and thanks the host for his time. They take a picture together and the man tells Alex that he’s excited to catch the special when it airs.

The way the host looks at him though, Henry suspects Alex might be the main selling point of watching it. It’s almost endearing how Alex doesn’t seem to notice the heart eyes being lobbed at him. Henry wonders what it’ll be like after Alex’s book releases in a few months and the radio host– and queer men all over the globe– find out that Alex is part of their community.

It makes Henry happy to know the world will open up even more for Alex, even though selfishly a small part of him will miss being in this exclusive bubble of a select few who know Alex’s truth for now.

They head out of the studio and start walking back down the hall to the elevators.

“Do you feel like going out tonight?” Alex asks abruptly.

For a foolish, fleeting moment, Henry thinks Alex is asking him out on a date, but logic kicks in.

“Don’t want to spend the first night holed up in the rental, huh?” he muses as he hits the down button.

“Precisely. I’m feeling…I don’t know. We’re young and hot and in Miami of all places. It feels like we should be taking advantage of that, right? Let’s go dancing.”

Henry barks out a laugh that makes the receptionist jump. Henry quickly apologizes before stepping into the elevator that mercifully arrives to aid in his escape from the scene.

“Alex, you’ve come to know me so well. Surely you can surmise that I don’t dance. ”

“That’s not the same thing as can’t,” Alex objects as the doors close and he pushes for the ground floor. “And besides, you’re forgetting that I’ve seen your hips move in the bedroom pretty damn well. Trust me, I know you’d be lethal on the dancefloor if you gave it an honest try. You didn’t even get on the floor with Pez in Denver. I’m not letting you cop out this time around.”

Henry’s head is still reeling from Alex’s second statement.

“Sex is different,” he argues. “I couldn’t possibly move like that with others around.”

Alex smirks as they reach the ground floor and the doors chime open.

“Oh, Henry. Miami nightlife is gonna teach you a thing or two. Just you wait.”

~*~*~

Nighttime in Miami feels like an absolutely different realm of existence. It’s almost as if the sun dipping below the horizon somehow flipped a switch on Henry’s surroundings.

“I suppose this is what Dorothy must have felt like when she entered Oz,” Henry says as he and Alex wait in line outside of a club. From the line snaking around the corner, Henry can tell it’s a popular one.

The heavy bass from the music spills onto the street and feels like an undercurrent to Henry’s anxiety over this evening. In theory a night of dancing should be fun, but despite Alex’s prediction, Henry still maintains he has two left feet and is more than likely to make a fool of himself in front of not only Alex, but a roomful of people.

When they’re finally admitted, Henry’s nerves lift sky high. The place is packed with people all moving to the music.

Alex takes to the vibe of the club like a fish to water. He looks genuinely excited, his eyes drinking everything in. Henry does too, but all he notices is how adept literally every person in the room is at dancing. He supposes liquid courage might be doing wonders for a good portion of them, but even still, he’s impressed with everyone’s ability not to overthink.

He wonders what a life like that would be like and quickly has to stop himself from ironically overthinking about overthinking.

“Don’t be nervous!” Alex shouts over the music, already bopping a bit.

He sets his hands on Henry’s hips and shakes him side to side while laughing.

“Live a little. Move a lot,” he says before letting go and beginning to dance all on his own in earnest. Henry can only watch him and marvel at how fluid Alex’s movements are. It’s obvious just how freeing this is for him and it’s downright captivating.

A gorgeous woman appears at Alex’s side as if summoned by his movements. She’s a vision with long dark curly hair and rich brown skin that’s accentuated perfectly by the red dress she has on. Henry wonders briefly if she’s a mirage.

Alex’s eyes cut to her for a moment and back to Henry, almost as if asking for permission. Henry tips his head, urging Alex to take her on as a dance partner.

Alex smiles and takes hold of the woman’s hand and they move as one immediately, so in sync with the blaring horns and percussion. It’s really a sight to see and Henry can’t help but to smile knowing just how much Alex is enjoying himself.

One song bleeds into another and Alex continues to dance with the woman. Secretly, Henry is glad she’s able to distract him; better her than him on the dancefloor now. Henry moves away and heads for the bar to get drinks for himself and Alex.

It’s a battle to make it through to the overcrowded bar, but Henry feels victorious when he manages to get the bartender’s attention.

“Whatever he wants, it’s on me,” a voice beside him says before Henry can even get a word out.

He looks to his right and sees an, admittedly, attractive guy half smiling at him. This feels a bit like déjà vu.

In a different bar, in a different city, he’d been approached.

In a world pre-Alex, Henry would have been intrigued by this man based on his appearance, certainly enough to graciously accept the drink to see where the night could lead.

But now, his mind is already calculating how quickly he can put an end to this. The brown eyes looking at him now aren’t the ones he’d like to stare into.

“That’s quite alright, but thank you for the offer,” Henry says politely to the stranger.

The man feigns a wounded heart.

“If I can’t get you a drink, could I at least get your name, sexy? I want to hear more of this pretty accent that goes along with that truly pretty face,” he says, voice lilting, his eyes a little unfocused.

It’s clear he must have nursed a few drinks here tonight already aside from the one currently in his hand.

Henry’s skin feels stretched uncomfortably. The bar is so swarmed, there isn’t much he can do to escape without notice, especially as the man continues looking at him expectantly.

Henry opens his mouth, but suddenly he feels a hand on the small of his back out of nowhere. He glances and sees Alex smiling tightly at the stranger. Henry relaxes into his touch at once.

The tipsy man looks between the two of them.

Alex continues to stare, glare really, before turning his attention on Henry.

“You good here?” he asks.

Henry smiles.

“Considerably better now. Thanks, love.”

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize you were with someone,” the man mumbles.

He at least has the good sense to look apologetic, but Henry loathes the fact that it took someone else stepping in to get him to back off.

The man staggers away from the bar and Henry shifts his focus back to the whole reason he came over here in the first place.

Henry sighs seeing the bartender now taken up with other patrons. Of course the man would have lost interest immediately when there’s an army of people vying for his attention, money in hand.

“I intended to get us drinks,” Henry says uselessly to Alex, frowning.

“And then you were rudely interrupted by that vulture?”

Henry laughs as Alex glances over towards wherever the man vanished off to, a sour look on his face.

“Careful now, I might start thinking you were jealous.”

Alex purses his lips. Something changes in his expression, but the lights flashing inside the club makes Henry think he might’ve imagined it. It looked somewhat like irritation. Henry dismisses the thought quickly. There’s no reason why Alex would or even should be bothered by the other man’s advances.

“Dance with me,” Alex says.

“Where’s that beautiful woman from before? My savior? Perhaps I could convince her to pair up with you again.”

Alex lightly pinches Henry’s side and leans in by his ear.

“She’s not the dance partner I wanted this evening. I want you to watch you move,” he replies, a hand snaking down to Henry’s ass.

Henry’s eyes widen.

They’re in such a public place and though no one has come up to Alex professing themselves to be a fan, he still wants to exercise some caution.

He looks around, but no one seems to be paying them any mind. He turns his gaze back on Alex.

“I really am dreadful. I wasn’t being facetious.”

Alex laughs, shaking his head.

“You’ve been teaching me things for months now. Let me return the favor and show you a thing or two.”

He gives Henry a light tap on his ass before taking a hold of his hand and leading him back toward the dancefloor. Henry feels trepidation with each step as if he’s been led to the gallows. But his curiosity and the burning need to touch Alex keeps his feet shuffling forward.

The band jumps into another song with heavy rhythm. Alex swivels his hips instinctively to the Latin music and Henry is once again mesmerized by how Alex moves, the sheer confidence and ease.

With a light sheen of sweat above his brows and his curls in lovely disarray, Henry simply cannot get over how sexy Alex is.

He reaches out, putting his hands on Alex’s hips, his eyes trained on his feet as he starts to mimic Alex’s footwork.

He’s hardly skilled, just as he knew he wouldn’t be, but he hasn’t managed to step on Alex’s feet yet so he considers it a win.

“There you go. I knew you could do it,” Alex boasts.

Henry keeps looking down, not trusting himself not to muck it up if he isn’t watching his feet. This is a far cry from the posh lessons he took as a child, learning antiquated moves like the waltz at his grandmother’s insistence.

“Just feel it, Hen. Relax.”

Alex comes in closer, his arms encircling Henry in return.

“Look at me,” he says. It takes Henry a moment but he does.

He keeps his eyes locked onto Alex, studies the way the light dances off his face, casting his features into shadows every few seconds. It’s almost hypnotic. Henry certainly feels as if he’s in a trance.

He notes the way their bodies naturally fall into step after a few moments. He wills his brain to shut off for once and heed Alex’s advice. To just trust his body and feel it.

Alex had been right back at the radio station; their bodies have been learning each other’s frequencies for months at this point. They are perfectly in tune now that Henry’s working to get out of his own head so much.

It turns out, Henry is actually decent at this. He finds himself laughing, a carefree sound that bubbles out his chest and joins the sounds of the nightclub.

There’s a curious look into Alex’s eyes as he seems to study Henry. He doesn’t speak his thoughts and Henry figures now isn’t really the time to ask.

The music changes, the live band being replaced by a DJ who plays dancy pop music. He and Alex adjust to the new tempo, but their bodies still remain pressed together. Alex rolls his hips teasingly, catching Henry by surprise. His body feels like an absolute live wire and any bit of contact with Alex has Henry utterly convinced he’ll blow at any second.

Arousal grows in the pit of his stomach. To be quite honest, it’s been brewing for some time now.

Alex turns, his back pressed against Henry’s chest. He grinds down as Henry grips his hips tightly.

Henry’s whole body feels hot and logically he knows that’s a byproduct of dancing for multiple songs straight in a dark crowded club, but he knows truthfully it’s mostly due to the fact that Alex’s perfect ass is now repeatedly rubbing against his growing erection.

Alex clearly has no regard for any of this as he reaches a hand up and combs his fingers through the hair at the back of Henry’s head, soon curling his hand into a fist. He continues keeping time with the music, grinding down again.

Henry can’t help it; he’s only human. He moans against Alex’s ear, his fingers digging deeper on Alex’s hips as he thrusts back.

“Have you any idea what you're doing to me right now?” he says, low enough for only Alex to hear.

He feels Alex’s body shake with laughter as he does it again, slower and harder this time.

Bastard, Henry thinks.

Before he can chide Alex for his cruelty, the man turns to face him. If Henry thought he himself was keyed up, it’s nothing in comparison to Alex’s molten gaze.

Alex doesn’t say a word as he takes a step back, subtly tipping his head towards the area where the restrooms are. Henry catches on quickly and together they navigate their way through the crowd, away from anyone else’s eyes.

The music carries over into the restroom, but as the door closes, it’s at least somewhat muted. Alex surveys the bathroom before tugging Henry into the closest stall.

“You look so fucking good out there,” he all but growls. “So good that apparently other guys couldn’t help but notice too.”

Henry searches his eyes, trying to absorb what’s happening here.

“Wait. Alex, were you actually jealous?” he asks, genuinely taken aback.

All the pent up tension seems to rush out of Alex at the question. It’s dizzying.

Alex avoids his gaze and shrugs.

“Not jealous. I…I don’t know. I know we aren’t…,” he stops short and shakes his head. “It felt weird seeing that dude look at you like that. He was getting way too close and for a second I thought maybe you might be into what he was trying to offer or...I don’t know. It’s dumb.”

Henry bites back a smile.

“You do realize that literally nothing would have happened between him and me, right? Even if he hadn’t turned out to be an absolute drunken knob, I would not have been interested. I came here with you,” he says, hooking his index fingers into Alex’s belt loops.

“I’m leaving with you. That’s just as I’d like for it to be. End of story.”

Alex’s shoulders relax a little.

“So, I haven’t made a complete idiot of myself then?”

Henry pretends to think about it.

“Eh, like three percent. Five tops,” he teases. “The peacocking out there really came in handy and all that dirty dancing redeemed you a bit.”

Alex playfully swats at his arm.

“You fucking dick.”

Henry grins.

“No one could ever accuse you of being a sweet talker.”

Henry tugs Alex forward a bit by the waist and Alex is quick to kiss Henry, his hands immediately slipping into Henry’s hair.

A public restroom is hardly an ideal setting, but it astounds Henry just how little cares as he kisses Alex back. The kiss intensifies quickly from light and sweet to heated, especially as Alex grips Henry’s hips firmly, his tongue working its way into Henry’s mouth.

Alex moans into his mouth, tugging Henry's shirt free from where it’s tucked in at the front. He runs his hands up Henry’s abs, his warm skin making Henry feel even hotter and more aroused.

Henry grabs a fistful of Alex’s curls and rolls his hips forward, whimpering softly when he feels Alex’s growing hardness against his own. The way he craves this man is downright maddening and should be studied.

He has to stop kissing Alex for a moment. They haven’t had even a drop of alcohol tonight and yet Henry feels drunk out of his mind off this man alone.

“Do you want to try something a little new?” he rasps, suddenly struck with an idea.

Alex’s eyes are so dark again, his lips red from how heavily they’ve been kissing. He nods, taking a few breaths as he stares blearily at Henry.

Henry shifts ever so slightly, wedging his right leg between Alex’s legs, his thigh packed in tightly against Alex’s groin.

The man lets out a staggered breath, one hand falling to Henry’s shoulder, cursing under his breath. Henry kisses the side of his face.

“I want you to take the edge off…or work yourself up, depending on how you look at it,” he muses. “But don’t come. Stop as soon as it gets to be too much. I don’t want you to finish.”

Alex groans.

“At least not here. Not like this. I want to take you apart myself for that,” Henry continues, brushing a hand through Alex’s curls.

“Can you do that for me, darling? Hm? Do you think you could at least try?”

Alex nods, his breathing already a bit heavy.

“Yeah. I’ll be good,” Alex whispers and Henry shivers at those words, his eyes closing faintly for a moment.

“You always are. Off you go, love.”

Alex nips on Henry’s bottom lip before he ruts up against Henry’s thigh tentatively, slowly seeking out friction. Henry knows Alex is teasing himself, but it’s every bit as pleasurable for Henry as well. Alex is making a meal of this, taking his time grinding against him.

Henry kisses him heatedly, licking his way into Alex’s mouth. It riles Alex up; his cock rubs a bit faster against Henry’s thigh. Alex breaks the kiss first and Henry’s ears swim with the soft raspy sounds that fall from Alex’s lips as he gives in to what his body is asking for.

Henry’s hands slide down to Alex’s ass, urging him forward, his own knees feeling weak but he stands strong, offering up his body to receive Alex’s call.

Alex buries his face in the crook of Henry’s neck, panting as he gradually moves faster, all out humping Henry’s leg, his sounds growing wilder and more intelligible.

Alex moves quickly and hard enough to make Henry’s body slam against the stall, the metal rattling. Henry's brain feels like it’s flying. Alex’s whimpering becomes desperate. His teeth sink into the pulse point on Henry’s neck as he stifles a scream.

“Jesus,” Henry mutters, so thoroughly turned on, his grip tightening on Alex’s ass.

Alex shudders hard against him and he takes a sudden step back. His face is a stunning shade of pink, his eyes wild. He looks as if he might be mere moments from losing it right then and there.

Alex rests back on the opposite wall of the stall, closing his eyes. It’s a small space, but the distance seems to be enough to let Alex get his head on straight. Henry watches as he takes a steadying breath and it seems like it’s taking every bit of Alex’s willpower to collect himself. Henry can relate all too well. That was one of the hottest things he’s ever experienced.

“Take me home,” Alex says, his voice catching as he looks at Henry.

“What’s the magic word?” Henry goads, unable to attempt some sort of control here though he himself is desperate to get Alex into bed.

Alex smirks and rolls his eyes.

“Please, baby. I can beg from my knees later if you’d like.”

Henry groans, his head tipping back against the stall.

“You can’t just say stuff like that to me, Alex.”

Alex’s grin is wicked and thrilling in one breath as he crowds Henry again, placing a hand between his legs.

“Can’t I? Take me home,” Alex repeats, lightly stroking him. Henry inhales sharply as Alex’s kisses along his jaw and to his ear, his voice deadly sweet as he speaks again.

“I want you to finish me off.”

~*~

Miami, FL

Day 4

Henry looks out over the balcony, taking in the gorgeous sunset. He doubts he’ll ever get used to the humidity in Florida, but he can’t deny the stunning view before him that looks like something on a postcard. Even with the impending rain he can smell in the air, the purpling sky is captivating all the same.

Alex’s appearance at SuperCon was yet another success and the perfect way to call an end to his tour. It was only fitting, in Henry’s eyes, that they celebrated with dinner at a restaurant downtown. It was nice surprising Alex and finding a way to somehow pay him back–even in a small way– for bringing Henry on this tour in the first place.

Now back at their rental, Henry feels himself in something of a contemplative mood as he watches the city. They’ve got another night out here before Henry tags along to Los Angeles for all things Crescent Valley reunion. He’s gotten through the last set of edits he received and upon his return to New York, Henry merely needs to round out the book with a portion on the reunion and Alex’s feelings about it all.

It makes Henry feel wistful knowing just how soon he’ll have to move on from this project. Perhaps even from Alex in general. He tries to picture a world in which they’d be able to maintain a friendship. He worries that, like this tour, their connection might run its course too.

Everything attached to this project came with a deadline. Maybe their dynamic would suffer the same fate.

He frowns to himself, a bitter lens now falling over the landscape in front of him.

“There you are,” he hears Alex say.

Henry half turns to look at him, getting his bearings together and flashing a smile. It becomes more genuine the longer he looks at Alex, the man still dressed sharply from their night out.

“I didn’t mean to disappear on you. I just couldn’t resist this,” he says, turning back and gesturing at the view.

“I’ve gotten so used to being on the road these last few months, it’ll be a bit strange returning to my normal life after L.A. That’ll be my absolute last chance to see palm trees in person before I go home,” he muses.

Alex’s arms encircle his waist from behind unexpectedly, his chest firmly against Henry’s back. Henry holds his breath, not daring to move. They’re once again falling into this precarious dance where they flirt with the line they ought not to cross. Henry supposes in different ways, they already have.

Alex kisses his shoulder, his lips skimming up towards his neck where he lets out a breath before pressing his lips to Henry’s skin. Alex places slow, soft kisses up the length of his neck. Henry’s pulse quickens, his body trembling a little as Alex exhales again.

“Do I make you nervous?” Alex asks quietly.

Henry lets out a breath, turning his head to the side to look at Alex as the man rests his chin on his shoulder.

“Among other things, yes,” Henry replies truthfully.

Alex’s hold on him loosens and Henry takes advantage of the moment to face the other man full on. For the life of him, he can’t read the look in Alex’s eyes. Alex blinks quickly and looks away.

“Darling, what is it?” Henry asks, angling his head to force Alex’s gaze again.

“I hate this. I know we still have a bit more time when you come to L.A., but it’s really starting to sink in that this is almost done, you know? I’m going to miss being around you every day. I don’t want to say goodbye to you.”

Henry blinks twice. Alex’s words harken back to the night they met. They hadn’t known then that they’d have more time together. Perhaps life could surprise them again, if they were lucky.

Henry tucks his hand under Alex’s chin and searches his eyes.

“We’re here now together. Let’s make the most of it.”

Alex’s bottom lip quivers just slightly before he nods, his eyes grow intent, renewed with something akin to determination.

Alex places his hands on either side of Henry’s face and kisses him. It’s slow and sweet and cracks Henry’s chest wide open with the care he’s being shown. In another world, this could be his.

Henry’s arms wrap around Alex’s waist and pull him in closer, their chests resting squarely on one another’s. Henry wouldn’t at all be surprised if Alex could feel just how fast his heart is racing.

Alex breaks the kiss first, his eyes looking like blown out stars. Henry cups his face with his right hand and Alex pulls in a breath, looking as if he’s preparing to say something big.

“I’m ready for the final lesson,” Alex says, peering up at him through his gorgeous lashes. “I want all of you tonight...if you’ll have me.”

Henry sighs softly, his eyes closing as he rests his forehead to Alex’s. He wants this so badly, he can hardly stand it. Their night after the club had been intense, so much so that Henry had almost floated the idea himself. But this was quite literally Alex’s timeline. He wouldn’t rush his process.

“Yes, love. It’s time.”

Henry takes a hold of Alex’s hands and leads back into the house and to his room. Henry closes the door behind them and suddenly the full weight of this night begins to settle over him.

The air in the room feels charged somehow, like a storm of a different kind is brewing within these four walls.

They move towards each other, drawn like magnets until they’re mere centimeters apart.

Alex keeps his eyes on him, even as he undoes the buttons on Henry’s chambray shirt completely. He slips his hands to touch Henry’s bare skin, the palms of his hands smoothing down his sides.

This is hardly the first time Alex has touched him, but Henry knows it could very well be the last. There’s a bittersweet tone to the night that breaks Henry’s heart to a degree he knows it shouldn’t.

All the same, Henry does his best to center his attention on the here and now.

He locks eyes with Alex and begins undoing the man’s shirt in return, pushing the fabric down and off his shoulders completely. He kisses down the side of Alex’s neck and to his right shoulder, his lips sweeping across Alex’s collarbone and back up the other side of the man’s neck.

He plants these kisses like seeds, wondering if they could ever bloom into something tangible between them, something they’d be able to hold onto beyond this night.

Henry looks him in the eyes once more and Alex smiles softly before kissing him again, his hands running smoothly up Henry’s back as he walks them towards the bed, their shirts falling away like faint whispers against the floor.

Alex lays him down gently and Henry cannot take his eyes off him. Between the soft sound of the promised rain starting to fall outside and the warmth of their bodies pressed so closely together, Henry feels as if he’s in a haze.

He cups Alex’s cheek and kisses him deeply as the man undoes his pants and undresses him completely.

Alex sighs and looks down at him.

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

It’s the first words either of them has uttered in minutes and the compliment makes Henry feel flustered.

Henry blushes at once. “Alex, come on.”

“I’m serious, Henry,” Alex presses, his tone leaving no doubt that he is. “You’re fucking gorgeous. I can hardly even look at you sometimes. It’s almost too much.”

Henry smiles bashfully, his heart skipping several beats. He tucks his face into the crook of Alex’s neck, placing a soft kiss there, murmuring a quiet thanks against his skin.

It’s all he can muster now.

He doesn’t doubt Alex’s sincerity in the slightest, but it is quite hard for Henry to fully conceive of the thought. This is a man whose life is set perfectly in a land known almost exclusively for beautiful people and yet, Alex seems keen to hold him in the highest regards.

Henry sighs softly and settles his back on the bed once more, reaching out and toying with the key around Alex’s neck, just as he’d done that night in New York that now feels like two lifetimes ago.

From the small smile on Alex’s lips, Henry can tell he’s thinking about that evening too, of how they’ve come so far with each other in the months since.

Henry tugs gently on the chain, drawing Alex’s mouth to his again and kissing him deeply as Alex’s fingertips skate down his body and down to his legs, parting them.

Henry moves as guided, spreading himself out against the sheets, back arching at Alex’s gentle exploration. His body trembles delightedly at the feel of Alex’s fingers brushing against his rim, his body aching for more of his touch.

Alex breaks the kiss, his lips plump and eyes heavily lidded. The way he’s looking at him now sends a shiver of anticipation down Henry’s spine.

“Where’s—”

“Top drawer,” Henry answers immediately.

Alex chuckles but leans over, grabbing supplies from the nightstand before guiding Henry’s legs to push back, his feet planted atop the bed. Perfectly open and on display. Alex’s eyes comb over his body and a wounded, affected sound falls from his lips.

Alex places a kiss on one of Henry’s knees as he coats his fingers and settles in closer to him.

Henry can’t help but to think once more of their first night in New York, how in over his head Alex had seemed and genuinely was. Comparing it to now, the look of sheer confidence and utter know-how is truly like day and night.

The first brush of Alex’s fingers against his entrance makes Henry’s whole body buzz at once. Alex kisses his cheek before ensnaring his lips slowly, the pad of his thumb circling teasingly at the same pace. It drives Henry crazy and he loves every second of Alex taking his time with him, building up the moment just as he said he enjoyed.

The first slip of Alex’s finger inside him makes Henry’s eyes roll shut as a low moan escapes him.

“So needy,” Alex teases, placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

Henry couldn’t deny it if he tried. He feels thoroughly desperate for any and everything Alex deigns to give him.

He trembles as Alex starts to set a pace, working in and out of him. He rolls his hips forward, hissing softly as his body adjusts to the intrusion. But already he wants more.

His eyes flash to Alex and his wants must be clear as day on his face because when Alex’s hand returns to him, he’s added another finger.

“Better?” Alex asks.

Henry nods, his eyes closing again for a moment. He continues to rock forward, getting lost in the rhythm of Alex’s ministrations.

Alex shimmies down his body, dropping kisses all over his torso as he goes until he’s level with Henry’s groin, his fingers never stopping all the while.

That mischievous twinkle Henry loves is in his eyes and Henry takes in a breath to prepare himself for whatever Alex has in mind.

Henry gets the answer a beat later when Alex takes a hold of Henry’s cock and swipes his tongue across the head.

Henry lets out an undignified curse, his breath catching. Alex smiles up at him and does it again before sucking on just the tip.

It’s a sight Henry doubts he’ll ever be able to process, but one that is sure to cement itself in his mind, to live forever in his memories as something he’ll refer back to in the future ahead where he and Alex go back to be just…former collaborators? Friends?

The uncertainty of it all is a thought he can’t afford now. He won’t spoil this night by breaking his own heart.

He rakes his fingers through Alex’s curls and moans softly, keeping his eyes locked onto Alex’s as the man pleasures him.

His eyes roll shut at the feel of Alex’s fingertips gently brushing his prostate.

By the time Alex adds a third finger, Henry feels ready to burst.

“Alex,” he whispers, his throat dry and cracking on the name.

It’s enough to get the point across. Alex retracts his hand and mouth, rubbing gentle reassuring circles on Henry’s thighs. He looks between Henry’s legs, his face flushing. Henry can only imagine how he must look, gaping and ready, perfectly poised to take him.

If I can make you lose it like that with my fingers, just imagine the things I could make you feel when I’m buried inside you, Alex had said that day in Reno when he left Henry a quivering mess in his hotel room.

Here it was now that Henry would no longer have to wonder. He’s mere moments away from knowing firsthand what a well-practiced Alex was like.

Alex finishes undressing himself and though Henry has been aching to feel Alex inside him, he has to take a moment to admire Alex’s body. His hands run from his shoulders to his chest, his torso, and to his hips.

He can’t imagine ever having a partner as breathtaking as this ever again.

He looks up at Alex who— by some miracle— has been quiet this whole time.

“Sorry,” Henry says, dropping his hands.

Alex’s brows furrow.

“Why are you apologizing? You’re doing wonders for my ego right now,” he muses before he opens the condom wrapper.

“May I?” Henry asks.

Alex lifts a brow, his face intrigued. He hands it over all the same. Henry gives him a quick kiss before working it over Alex’s length, his fingertips brushing along his shaft. Alex shivers a little.

Henry takes a hold of him, guiding Alex to his entrance, teasing himself a little by rubbing the head of Alex’s cock against his rim, never letting it slip in.

Alex’s thumbs work over Henry’s nipples, adding to his pleasure.

Henry moans softly, feeling his cock twitch and stiffen in response.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, feeling as if he might be monopolizing their time by teasing himself. The buildup is just too good to resist, knowing the reward will be all the sweeter.

Alex shakes his head.

“No more apologizing. Take whatever you need. I don’t mind one bit, baby.”

He leans forward and traps one of Henry’s nipples between his teeth, biting down gently. Henry keens, rubbing Alex’s tip against himself again as Alex starts to suck on his delicate flesh. His tongue is a menace against the hardened nub, encircling it before switching sides.

Henry bites back on his own lower lip and aligns Alex to his entrance, nodding up at Alex to proceed.

Alex doesn’t hesitate; he tips his hips forward and slides slowly into Henry, filling him up inch by inch. Henry grips his sides, mouth falling open.

His body shudders as Alex keeps going until he bottoms out completely.

They both gasp and freeze, taking a moment to collect themselves. Henry feels so full, his walls clenching around Alex’s length. He feels him everywhere.

Alex drops kisses on the side of his face, the tension in his body stretched like a rubberband ready to snap.

“Jesus Christ, Henry. You feel incredible.”

Henry lets out a breathy laugh.

“I had the same thought about you.”

He licks his dry lips and rolls his his upward, crying out at the sensations coursing through him at once. Alex slowly starts to pull out and Henry clutches him tighter. This already feels so different, in the best way, than New York.

“I need it. I’m ready,” he pants.

Alex thrusts back in and Henry sees stars as he’s filled again, his body utterly starved for the man above him. He kisses Alex heatedly as they get underway, Alex fucking him in earnest now that he’s been given license to move freely.

Henry’s brain feels as if it’s made of cotton balls or gauze, something light and airy that feels viable to blow away at a moment’s notice.

He hooks a leg around Alex’s hips and the position drives Alex in deeper. They both curse at the same time. Alex buries his face in the side of Henry’s neck, nibbling and sucking his skin as he hips keep time. Henry feels himself dripping from the overstimulation and somehow hungry for more.

He drags his dull nails up and down Alex’s back, his body feeling as if it’s on fire.

Alex pulls back enough to look at him and the intensity of his gaze is almost overwhelming. For all the hooking up they’ve done over the past few months, he’s never seen this expression on Alex’s face.

It’s almost too much, but Henry wouldn’t dare put a stop to this.

He grabs at the sheets, his hands gripping a fistful of fabric to keep himself steady as he snaps his hips forward to meet Alex’s thrusts.

Henry turns his head to the side but Alex touches his face lightly and gently coaxes him to face forward again.

“Eyes on me, baby. I want to see you.”

Henry trembles as he stares back, gasping softly as Alex takes a hold of his slick cock and strokes him.

Henry breathes softly, mouth still agape as he rocks his body toward Alex, surrendering fully, allowing himself to feel everything wholly without hesitation.

“There we go,” Alex says quietly as he smiles. “Beautiful.”

Henry seeks out his lips, his head tipping up to capture Alex’s mouth, kissing him gently as his hands settle on the small of his back.

This connection had been missing entirely that night in New York. All their weeks together have culminated in Alex being confident within himself and secure with taking the lead. In every respect, Henry knows he’d follow wherever Alex deigned to take him.

“More, please,” Henry rasps, fingers digging into Alex’s sides.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart.”

Alex rolls his hips, burying deeper and slamming harder into him as Henry’s nails dig in more firmly, anchoring him as his body thrums.

“God, yes,” Henry moans when Alex strikes him just right.

The difference between their very first night and now cannot be overstated. Alex is almost like a different person entirely to him.

No, Henry thinks. Different skill set, yes. But that magnetism has been in place this entire time.

He seeks out Alex’s mouth again even though he can barely breathe as it is.

Alex is relentless now, hitting that sweet spot over and over. Henry’s walls cinch around him, his toes curling as his orgasm builds.

“You’re right there. Fuck, Henry. So good for me,” Alex grits, taking a hold of Henry’s cock once more and jerking him off. His hand moves quickly against his shaft, pumping and squeezing his length.

Henry’s eyes water and he can feel himself throbbing, climbing closer and closer to his peak. He thrusts back shamelessly, greedily taking everything that Alex gives to him and offering himself back. His breaths are heavy and uneven, his heart pounding almost dangerously, but Henry has never felt more in control of himself even as he goes careening off the edge a moment later.

Alex’s name falls from his lips in a deep, desperate moan, loud enough to ring in the quiet of the room. Alex doesn’t let up, his body still moving against Henry’s and carrying him through. Henry’s grateful for it, eager to savor the last remaining moments of this.

He spills out in the small space between them, his stomach warm with his own release. Alex’s hand doesn’t break stride, nor does the man break eye contact. Alex looks absolutely ravenous, practically feeding off Henry’s response to him.

Henry’s whole body is hot and drained, but he doesn’t stop moving, so eager for Alex to feel this level of euphoria too.

He can feel Alex’s cock throbbing and twitching inside him, his finish just moments away at this rate.

Henry kisses up to Alex’s ear, hanging onto his shoulders as he whispers to him.

“Come for me, Alex. You’re so close. I can feel it. Use me.”

His teeth graze Alex’s earlobe and he bites down just enough to add pressure.

Alex gasps out a shaky breath and a beat later, a string of curses falls from his lips as he fucks into Henry roughly. Henry’s hips move forward steadily as Alex comes, his nails scratching down Alex’s back as he sees him through his finish in kind. Alex grips his hair, his body trembling with the aftershocks of his orgasm.

Henry rests the palm of his hand over Alex’s heart and feels how quickly it’s racing. He peppers Alex’s jawline with kisses, his other hand rubbing his side.

“Breathe, darling,” he says softly, searching Alex’s eyes. They’re dark but so clear, reinvigorated even.

Alex doesn’t say anything, merely crushing his mouth against Henry’s as Henry smiles and drapes his arms over Alex’s shoulders.

Alex skims his fingertips down the side of Henry’s cheek as he rolls off of him, Henry sighing at the loss of feeling Alex inside him. Alex disposes of the condom and returns immediately to Henry’s side.

Henry kisses him slowly at once, slinking an arm over Alex’s waist. Time feels infinite and truly irrelevant. All there seems to be is this perfect moment with Alex as he kisses Henry back unhurriedly.

Henry breaks first to catch his breath. He brushes damp curls off Alex’s forehead as they stare in silence at each other for a few seconds.

“I think I’ve made up for New York now, yeah?”

Henry laughs heartily at the statement.

“Yes. I can say, without question, that you have. Ten times over in fact.”

Alex grins toothily before his face grows a bit serene, his fingers now trailing along Henry’s jawline as he gets his thoughts together.

It’s a tender move and it makes Henry’s heart flutter like the wings of a butterfly. It certainly feels that delicate.

“Thank you for giving me this. All these weeks with you. Nothing could ever compare to it.”

For now, Henry thinks. After all, these lessons had been nothing more than practice for whatever next guy comes along and manages to dazzle Alex. Henry feels sick to his stomach at the thought though this has been the truth all along.

This moment feels like both a thank you and a goodbye.

Henry wants to ask if it has to end here, but he knows that it must.

“Stay with me tonight,” Henry says instead, splitting the difference and pushing past the sudden lump in his throat.

Alex’s brows knit slightly and Henry can’t blame him. That had been one of their rules, no spending the night in each other’s room though Austin had been the one unavoidable exception.

All the same, with this being their last night of lessons, Henry figures perhaps they could bend the rules a little.

Alex continues to look at him for a moment in silence.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, of course,” Henry says, quickly losing his nerve. “I know we said we wouldn’t do that.”

Alex shakes his head, stroking Henry’s cheek with his thumb.

“Stop. That’s not…I’m staying. I want to stay. Honestly, if I were to have to go back to my room, I’d be bouncing off the walls. It makes better sense to just…not leave,” Alex rambles.

Relief floods through Henry’s body at once. They've been on borrowed time since the beginning, but at least for tonight he’s able to buy them a few more hours.

Alex kisses the tip of his nose.

“And besides, if memory serves— which it absolutely freaking does— you promised me something back in Reno. I want to cash in on that tonight.”

Henry’s brows furrow for a moment before he remembers, a smile spreading across his lips as he gently spreads Alex’s legs.

He relishes in how quickly the move shuts Alex up and clearly excites him.

That certainly makes two of them. Henry’s mind has been running wild for weeks picturing himself not just working Alex open, but being inside him, bringing him the kind of pleasure he’s never experienced before.

It might seem like a daunting task to some, but Henry views it as a privilege he’s more than capable of handling.

“You’re right, darling,” Henry says, skimming his fingertips along Alex’s inner thighs, delighting in the way Alex trembles. “Next round’s on me.”

#rwrb fic #red white and royal blue #firstprince #henry fox mountchristen windsor #alex claremont diaz #userthai #tusersonia #tuserpaige #usernicholas #usersteen #tusersilence #userjamiec #lookstevie #iuserzoe #uservalentina #kimmy writes

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