#me being giddy idk
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It feels so good when you fixate on something and find that one person you can drag into that same chokehold with cause I was making an au of an oc in Marvel, and my friend decided to add hers too and send me the things she was writing, and cut to two days later and I have 12 pages written a ton of ideas and I have so many more ideas and we just rambled to each other completely spur of the moment for 4 solid hours straight and it feet like no time at all passed and AGSKAMDMCLSMSNDZMSMDNDJ
Sorry sorry sorry but anyways Im just really excited cause while like, I share my writing with my friends and I share my art, and my core friend group literally exists because we’ve all rped our characters together for like 6 years, but I haven’t felt this genuinely engaged an exited for my ideas since like god I think since my undertale era back when it was at its height.
Like yk when you have a lot of friends and a lot of ideas and a lot of interests, and it’s great bouncing around n shit, but then you find that one combination that just makes your brain and everything spark up and get hyped like crazy? Cause oh my god someone’s interested in my writing and she’s writing her stuff for it and we can just talk about ideas and head canons and stuff and that’s just there
Alsjajjsjebfjsjsjgjsnfmskdksksdkal imma go to bed gn
OH YEAH HOLD ON I HAD A STUCKY FIC IDEA
I haven’t decided if I’ll write it yet cos like Im writing something else rn and honestly I just like writing ocs more than real fanfic, and I’m sure it probably exists already but I wanted to post it here too lmfao
#welcome to me being clueless on how to properly tag#me being giddy idk#literally giggling kicking my feet#mcu#oc#fanfic
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the next thing they'll be involved with, Logan will be drinking and gets told by a non-Wade "I'm here to save you from Deadpool" or some funny shit like that. Toss in a mention about incursions or Wade's 'higher purpose' having no place for Logan. Watch Logan laugh.
#becoming ever so fond of the idea#of Logan The Worst Wolverine being so valuable to any universe that he just can't be left in domestic peace#He could be great. he's BEEN great#an incredible man who only wants to stay at home#that's protagonist behavior#Logan would have been so settled and at peace w himself by this point#he'll negotiate first. He'll try to boil things down harmlessly#any hostiity to him can get to his and Wade's family after all#no the mother bear instinct. claws and all. they come out when Logan is forcibly taken from that universe.#idk i get giddy imagining it#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wolverine#logan howlett#deadpool 3#wade wilson#poolverine#deadclaws#deadpool 2024#logan would be drinking just for the sake of drinking btw#no particular tragedy except for maybe relapsing into depression and needing to self-regulate#but he's good#“his 'higher purpose' is protecting his friends. when he finds you sneaking around in his universe he'll tell you the same thing. trust me.#cut to “my higher purpose is being held lovingly by Thor. and protecting my friends. why are you here?”#give Logan some line like “the saving goes both ways. we're done with all that shit. walk away now”#lmao it might probably be wade who's guns first talk later then#the only time his mouth will run quicker than he can draw his weapons is if he can find opportunities to annoy somebody
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i love my place .°(ಗдಗ。)°.
#ISNT IT BEAUTIFUL#i’ve been working on this for so long omfg#i might still move some stuff around idk if i’m FULLY happy with it rn#i’ll be hanging up all my concert stuff soon#my zb1 / riize / bnd collections are slowly growing hehehehe#i have so much more coming in soon too that’s being shipped from my korean warehouse forwarding center#like all my walk the line merch KDNSKWKDBEKWK#but i have txt / &team / zb1 / riize / bnd / enha all on the way#SO EXCITED#someone pls be giddy with me#snail talk#snails collection
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that last scene in the qaf finale was painful. we get a voiceover of michael talking about how some things should never change and the show decided that very much included brian. we then get him dancing in babylon to beat us over the head with the idea that nothing has changed at its core. but everything has in that moment. everything had changed for seasons. with everyone dancing "the way it should be" brian was the only one who didn't fit in that scene, yet there he was smack in the middle of it all
this wasn't growth, it wasn't poetic, it was a poorly written ending
#oh that episode#i had been avoiding it for over a week and had to pause several times to recalibrate#like#that was so bad and rushed and why did they strip brian of everything and revert him to his default#nothing in season 5 made sense for any of them tbh???#except ben & michael getting hunter back and brian finally saying i love you#but it's always BIG BAD BIG BAD events that lead to brian doing something and idk britin was wildly out of character this season#im glad justin went to new york im glad he's doing something other than being a trophy wife the show turned him into#but jesus#i will have more thoughts after i process whatever that was for them#we're not getting married lol no like seriously we're not AND THEN THE SCENE IS DONE ARE YOU KIDDING ME#michael being giddy and bffs with brian again after justin left feels very on brand for him lmao#okay im done rambling im just -___-#:/#i will have lots of opinions in regards to the other characters that i will post about i swear i noticed things other than brian kinney#qaf#britin#brian kinney
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MICKEY BEAR !!!
what was your first kiss like with toji and sukuna ? i was gonna ask something freaky but i’ll save it for another time
LANIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM ABOUT TEN MILLION BILLION YEARS LATE TO THIS BUT THEY JUST POPPED INTO MY HEAD AND NOW HERE I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OKAY SO . i'm giddy alreadyHGASGHDGADHGAGHS OKAY OKAY OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MIJI FIRST EVER KISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we never had any proper dates prior to dating so it happened very spontaneously. we were just having a good old movie night at my place (nobody is surprised), we were sitting on the couch - side to side, thigh to thigh with my head on his shoulder. but i just... well he looked very fucking good that night. he looks handsome every day but idk maybe i was ovulating or something i just could NOTTTT stop staring at him.
and so toji being toji, he tried to tease me for it, right? he made some stupid comment that i did not even hear bc i already knew i was going to go for it. i can be very impulsive sometimes and this was one of said times.
so i just went "can i kiss you?"
.
lani.. when i fucking tell you... he went so red in the face OHHHMY GODDDDDD i've never wanted a man as much as i wanted him in that very moment. i think i managed to catch him very off guard which i feel like is relatively hard to do and wahhhhhh it was very cute. big big man all flustered and shy because of meee:33333333
anyway he cleared his throat while not looking at me btw he tried to avert his gaze at all costs but well unfortunately for him i'm some kind of an eye-contact freak so i just kept on staring at him with hearts in my eyes lmao
but then ofc he folded. the kiss was very sweet. nothing like you'd expect. he does get a bit more timid when it comes to a person he really likes yk? and we just didn't want to rush anything so after the first few pecks, i did end up climbing onto his lap but it never went any further than that.
(we both wanted it to go further,, like he definitely went home with a raging boner)(maybe he jerked off in the car.....................)(okay no focus mickey)(anyway we again just didn't want to rush it at all so we forced ourselves to hold back a bit)
i've had to make all of the big first moves in this relationship hgsdhgahgdhgashgd WHICH I'M TOTALLY FINE WITH BTW bc he just needs a little push sometimes. at the beginning of the relationship he was just a bit more mmmm scared to go too far and scared to push me away so he just held back on everything. but when i started showing him the way and i started telling him how much i fucking like him then he started taking the lead more aswell. i love him lani i'm totally rambling idk if any of this makes any sense but i just need you to know that i love him okay he's very important to me
AND SUKUNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he kisses me mid ramble😭😭😭😭 i think i might've seduced him with my loserness.. overall the setting is literally the same as it was with miji - we're just at my place, we're just having some takeout and we're bickering while lounging on the couch aaaand so i had been talking his ear off about this new film and i'm just yapping and yapping and i look over to him and he's just staring at me and i get nervous as fuck so now i'm there stumbling over my words and everything. he pokes fun at me for it but then just urges me to finish what i had to say .
and so i pushed up my glasses and started up again aaaand about a minute later he's kissing me and i'm just sitting there like O . O wiat . HE CAUGHT ME SOOOOOO OFFF GUARDD PLEASEEEE i got so red in the face he still teases me for it but let's just ignore that okay...
(is this how toji felt omfg...................)
he pulled away for a second and then we just . stared at each other for a few seconds before LUNGINGGGG at each other,, it was like something out of a movie i won't even lie it was very hot:333333333
everything escalated very fast from that point on lmao he's fucking insane i literally could not walk the next day ???? he thought that was very funny btw😒😒😒
(btw our first kiss song is kiss you all over by exile i cannot stop thinking about it i think it's so perfect for us)(this is like the background music for our little scene lmao)
ALL IN ALL I FUCKING ADORE BOTH OF THEM SOOOO SOOO MUCH AND I THINK FIRST KISSES ARE EVERYTHING!!!!! NO MATTER WHETHER THEY'RE MOVIE TYPE OF KISSES OR JUST PECKS OR MAYBE IT'S LIKE A BAD FIRST KISS IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S STILL SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love them sm talking abt this made me very very happy so thank you sm lani my angel:(((((((( i love you
#feel free to kill me#chop a few fingers off#whatever you wish my liege i have been bad😔😔😔#i kept jumping from past tense to present#i think i should never speak again actually#whatever#anyway i'm sorry for being so late#even though i'm only now answering this.. i've been thinking abt these scenarious for soooooooooo long#they're one of my favourites i think:33333333#they're just so sweet and lovely idk#i love them#TALKING ABT THEM MADE ME SOO GIDDY HELLO#it's so over for me...#WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU LANI#I'M KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH RN#MWAH MWAH MWAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ILYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#lani <3#friends!!#miji#mikuna
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hehehe happy fathers day yall
#idk im not even the biggest fan of el+hopper but seeing them being similar to each other always makes me feel really giddy for some reason#out of all dynamics in ST i feel like they would benefit the most from more episodes together#i know they'll get more in st5 though im so excited to see where they go next#also ik my will stan is showing but im praying this is foreshadowing what i think it is
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ok as much as i love the sex mod because hells yea who doesn't want to make their blorbos fuck nasty
making it look good??? look decent??? requires so much work dsfsdf
#the bg3 adventures#yes i'm a degenerate making sex gifs on tungle dot com what about it#is just malsin absolutely possessed me idk#been thinking about them just having fun having a good time#mal being happy??? ? ?playful?? ?? it's like medicine to my soul#you know she'd tease him when she's in a good mood#you know he'd absolutely devour her#pin her down on the grass and smother all those chuckles with deep passionate kisses#i feel like she'd lean a little bit into the whole nature thing of being this itty bitty prey for the big bear man#idk just thinking of her having fun and being happy and in a good mood is just making me so giddy#she's been through so much shit she deserves a fucking break
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#okay so random tag post even though it's been ages#me thinks the current place i work is actually decent a la accepting-queer-ppl so?? miiiiight. consider actually putting my#pronouns in my email signature (which hardly gets used but shh) but like. the actual ones not the society/people assume anyway ones#idk i attended a virtual tech focused event for trans dov (yes early but they didn't want to put the event on sun) and you know when#everyone is just sharing their stories and experiences and it's just like... an overwhelming sense of community? anyway that#and since it was hosted by a professional org the topics were all workplace focused and mayhaps that's something i'm thinking abt for#this year. at least within our pride group I might be ready? wild bc for a long time tumblr has been the only place I feel comfy being 100%#myself. but hearing real people's stories makes me feel like that kind of community would be nice to have elsewhere too#and the whole looking to others also turns around into the leading by example thing bc then we had some breakout groups at the end for#networking which is not my favorite but! i did my intro and said I use she/her for work but will use she/they for this group and#then the next person said he/him at work but for this group he/they so that made me wonder if it was bc of me saying so first?#which if it was is kind of like oh. the way I'm looking for those people for me.. I can also be that for someone else#anyway this sounds dumb typed out but irl/professional me has always separated out queer identity so it's new to me#i'm allowed to be giddy okay. just a little. as a treat (is tumblr still using 'as a treat' i really hope so)#oh shit is this what gender euphoria feels like#alright that's it for now i think#gah emotions and whatnot#missed you all btw i'll start actually being online again soon#personal
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everytime i think about thistle and like. my blog and stuff, i kinda ponder what itd be like to have white hair. and longer hair too
#i have no idea what happened but apparently hes my appearance goal now#i dont know if id look GOOD with white hair but as a friend said. i gotta experiment and have fun#anythings better than sticking with this look i hardly have control over anyway#cataclysmic ranting#i dont think my parents would like me dying my hair something unnatural which sucks#ill try my chances after i graduate because atleast then ill be around an audience that really wont give a shit (the general public)#i really like thinking about this kinda stuff. it feels like self-discovery but not quite that so#i wonder how euphoric itll feel when i do get to change my appearance. i feel kinda giddy about that now#i just. dont know how hair works so im not confident about understanding how to get it long like that but yeah??#i think dunmeshi unironically changed me for the greater-better dude.#maybe i should ask some people of contact about hair. like my mutuals here or my friends on discord. they know way more than me cause#i know shitass nothing….#like its not even an urge to cosplay thistle its just. the urge that he influences the solution toward dysphoria#idk if its dysphoria because im not actively shunning or hating it but ill call it that for simplicitys sake#i think itd bring so much joy to my life though#id probably use that as a marking point for genderfluidity cause i like that a lot. being called a little bit of both :)#im tlaking too much
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honestly i can't stop staring at the incision sites
#i get so giddy every tim i look at them#like that bitch really is gone!!!!!!#(i am making light of this but ive known i wanted a hysterectomy from the moment i had my first period)#(partly bc of trans and partly bc of the brutalness of them from the start)#(and its literally been OVER A DECADE ive said ive wanted this done. actually 12 years bc i first decided around 14 i wanted this no matter#what my gender actually was. and i am so elated and over the moon. i feel so at home in my body and it's literally been so long since ive#felt consistently at home in here. also i can easily see the spots and take pics with my front camera so i REALLY keep just opening the cam#every few hours to admire my wounds c: )#ik i focused on the physical pain a lot before this as the Reason Why but truly........ this was the best decision ive ever made and i am so#so so so happy and i am also never letting anyone fucking gaslight me ab not being trans enough ever again#lit. said to my wife while showering “dont get me wrong im in pain - but its the kind of pain thats telling me im okay. its over. im home.”#idk if this is Too weird but if u wanna see the incision sites or bruising or anything i actually dont mind showing this stuff hajdkfjwkd#i personally have always had a morbid curiosity w/ things like this so i wont be weirded out
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im going to start taking dance classes on monday and i Really dont want to (i dont know how to dance) (and im not good at it. At all)
#this honestly makes me frustrated because 1. I have bad memories related to the ballet classes i used to take#2. I hate dancing against my own will#3. I only really like dancing when its for theatre. Which is good but im going to have no choice but to be partnered up with a man#A man…. A teenage boy to be more specific.. Being close with men in general makes me. Ick#(Saying this as a gay man. Idk sorry i dont want to be near a greasy boy for an hour i have high standards)#Also i have like. Stiff hips or something. Im really clumsy unfortunately. And we’re going to be doing all sorts of dances#This is a nightmare#theres a fat part of my brain going “Okay but think about the shows you could audition for and be in felix.. Dont you want to do this for#The Shows…” and a chihuahua in my brain starts running in circles and getting all giddy and then the other chunk is like GOD PLEASE NO!!!#I would be much more grateful for this opportunity if i could dance with girls… Because No i am NOT putting my arm or hand ANYWHERE near a#cishet dude…#rant#felix complaining too much#going to cry#its like ~18 classes one rehearsal and one performance which isnt bad but also is So Annoying#Help
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I think she's really the one!!!! I know I said that about the other 5 but this time it's different !!!!!!!
it's gonna work out once and for all and then I'll never be lonely again
#.txt#her name is Jasmine#we've been talking for three days and have a date planned next week#we're both giddy about each other#sometimes I think about her and I start jumping up and down in excitement#she said she has a crush on me#yes I know relationships are more than mutual interest#more than mutual attraction#more than even getting along. they're about compatability of everything#compatability of belief systems#and ways of dealing with conflict#and i know that I can't reaaaaaaally know how awesome she is cuz we haven't met yet#but idk. i have faith in blind teenage love. i think it'll work out just fine. i think blind attraction will smooth out all the kinks.#i don't think god would let me feel this without it meaning something#yes I know i'm being dumb and hyperbolic. but if not now then when?#none of this really matters. i'm not settling down#im not determining anything about the future#im just choosing the feelings that i'm going to feel right now#in this moment.#anyway yeah. her name is Jasmine.
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im a bit late to talking about this since this was related to my recent appleshipping art, but
now that I see it. they have so many similar characteristics what do you mean they aren't SIBLINGS....
#LOOK THEY EVEN HAVE A YELLOW BAG#IT'S LIKE THEYRE TRYING TO MATCH EACH OTHER OR SOMETHING#her socks to shoes is the same as red's entire shoe color pattern 😭#their hat and top's colors are inverted its so cute#and of course their hair. the hair color#sure red is a little pale but its still brown (to me) (since some people debate its black but it's obviously brown in game)#red partial johtonian confirmed?!?!?! /j#then again i think leaf is without a doubt THE sibling alternate to red shes literally him but FEMALE#but leaf is so. idk like i don't feel attached to her 😭 i played as her in frlg but i did not feel attached sjdnsjkddj#her fanmade sun and moon design is good but SHE'S NOT REAL IN SM AAAAA#would be so cute if ethan and lyra are so giddy over the idea of their siblings being in love with each other AAAA#nero even mentioned how their hair points out to their side its so cute hehdyshrhd#i wonder if this will make me add lyra more to the silly drawings
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i can’t stop writing col gojo n reader in shy and lowkey giddy interactions 😭😭
#sorry i keep blabbering abt this#pls lmk if i should stop#but yea shy things 😭😭#even tho they’ve been together for a significant amt of time 😭😭#and theyre not exactly young either 😭😭#but writing their scenes rn feels like first love#tho technically it kinda is 😭😭#but everything feels like butterflies and idk if thats a good thing aksnsknx#im gna try to fix the development but then so far now this is what the scene is lookin like 😭😭😭#theyve done everything together and theyre still shy in lil incidents like this#my main issue is i think i want to show d progression of the relationship but in this scene im writing theyre still nervous n shy n giddy#and that can be a good thing !! a cute thing !!#but im also worried it removes??? from the whole ~~being more comfortable in the relationship thing#anyway regardless i think col 3 gojo will be diff from tell me about love gojo HAHA#he’s just a lil (lot) more loved up#shotorus.process
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sorry my particular experience of being aro means i need to talk through any attraction or relationship i have ad nauseam to process it but like. whatever’s going on with that boy it’s really not a crush. regardless of their nature being unconventional i do get crushes & that’s not how i feel abt him (at least anymore). i just enjoy talking with him so very much and i want to top him so bad. among various other things but in very basic terms.
#this is sparked by being so pleased to talk to him but that’s all it was. like i just love talking to him#none of the giddiness just . satisfaction#idk i just think it’s especially interesting given my State of late hasn’t Not involved him heavily#i do need rose and i’s fight club to be real so he can punch me in the face. i mean what who said that#ted talks#🗡️
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btw i have a timelapse comin along for that sanji painting i just have no idea how tiktok/youtube shorts or adding music 2 videos works
#not to mention there's my intense fear of putting my work/myself out there on social media to contend with#let alone actual social spaces#mind you it HAS been getting better w yknow. self-imposed exposure therapy and the like. slowly but surely i will drag myself out of this#but i am rly rly bewildered + grateful for the love this painting has received from everyone who's interacted w it. ngl im a bit stunned by#how much more openly loving tumblr is compared to twitter#i feel like that pic of that little cat being pet by like 20 people at once i keep rereading the tags and getting rly giddy about it#the 1000 or so sanjifuckers whove been leaving feral tags on my painting cannot conceptualize the impact they've had on my psyche (lovingly#thanks guys. truly <3#anyways sry for the long rant expect that timelapse by at least the end of the week (god willing)#my computer screamed at me so hard for recording it so it deserves to actually get posted instead of just rotting in my files lol#idk whether yt shorts or tiktok is the best option for it but that's a question for tomorrow me
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