#like its not even an urge to cosplay thistle its just. the urge that he influences the solution toward dysphoria
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everytime i think about thistle and like. my blog and stuff, i kinda ponder what itd be like to have white hair. and longer hair too
#i have no idea what happened but apparently hes my appearance goal now#i dont know if id look GOOD with white hair but as a friend said. i gotta experiment and have fun#anythings better than sticking with this look i hardly have control over anyway#cataclysmic ranting#i dont think my parents would like me dying my hair something unnatural which sucks#ill try my chances after i graduate because atleast then ill be around an audience that really wont give a shit (the general public)#i really like thinking about this kinda stuff. it feels like self-discovery but not quite that so#i wonder how euphoric itll feel when i do get to change my appearance. i feel kinda giddy about that now#i just. dont know how hair works so im not confident about understanding how to get it long like that but yeah??#i think dunmeshi unironically changed me for the greater-better dude.#maybe i should ask some people of contact about hair. like my mutuals here or my friends on discord. they know way more than me cause#i know shitass nothing….#like its not even an urge to cosplay thistle its just. the urge that he influences the solution toward dysphoria#idk if its dysphoria because im not actively shunning or hating it but ill call it that for simplicitys sake#i think itd bring so much joy to my life though#id probably use that as a marking point for genderfluidity cause i like that a lot. being called a little bit of both :)#im tlaking too much
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