#me barely awake: haha funny.. because uh.. because.. uhm

[spkyscry-a]

“...I’m going to need an entirely different line-up to beat the Strategoi Seven, aren’t I?” That’s what Ln’eta got for sticking with one team. Now she’s going to have to spend hours upon hours catching and grinding up new Humans to try again.

[satureja13]

Jack is disenchanted and disappointed. As exciting as it was to talk to Tiny Can, he'd expected more of the AI Therapist.

Sai went back to sleep again, he's exhaused from crying and reliving his worst memories. And Ji Ho and Jack decided to play a bit. But the only 'game' available is a boring puzzle... Jack: "Oh my, I don't know what's more boring. This puzzle or our therapy... Have they never heard about gamification? Or fun? Or to make it a bit more interesting?" Ji Ho agreed. Though the insight about Vlad and his own locked away feelings was interesting. Maybe he should follow and explore these thoughts a bit deeper.

Suddenly Saiwa was wide awake: "What did you just say, Jack?"

Jack: "Uh - probably something wrong? You finish the puzzle, Ji Ho, I go and run."

Saiwa: "No! That's actually brilliant!

Gamification! The Game!!!

We combine the AI with our game and make it a Therapy Game!" Jack and Ji Ho: "..." (Haha you can see how Jack and Ji Ho's brains are working ^^') Saiwa: "And not just for us - for other creatures too! This would have been so helpful when we'd been so scared and alone! And who knows? This could be a sucess and we'd make money to pay Rubyn and the others back!" We barely get to see Saiwa this excited ^^' But here some of his main interests meet, his love for games and computers - and being there for others and help them.

Vlad went back home to grab Saiwa, Jack and Ji Ho's content they'd already had created for their game over the last months and then they started their epic gathering to develop the:

For the computer game they'd planned, Jack already made the concept art and design, Vlad wrote and Ji Ho composed the music and soundscapes. They are going to feed all this to Tiny Can and see what kind of 'gamification therapy' he'll create. How exciting! (For me it really is! Imagine this: a game that also is a therapy - supported by an AI! How amazing would that be if you could see the things that make you suffer from a distance and you'd find solutions for them by doing insightful AND funny AND interesting quests! You'd gain helpful new habits and get rid of unhealthy ones by playing a game! Where I live it's so hard to find a therapy place. We have to wait up to a year -.- I do have high hopes in AI. You could go by your own pace. And you wouldn't even have to leave the house!)

After a very long gathering, Ji Ho and Jack relaxed in the hot tub. Jack's pain is thanking him. They sat silent for quite a while, lost in their thoughts. Very unusual for Jack, but his brain is running on hyper speed now. He's so excited :3 And Ji Ho was pondering about his locked down feelings. The Bond made it easy for him to love Luci. They had a whole different approach to each other. While his relationship with Vlad was doomed from the beginning (their story in (kind of ^^') short -> here).

The only ocassions where Ji Ho was really comfortable with Vlad was, when they touched and made love. And this is also a benefit of the Bond and Luci because Ji Ho hated being touched in the beginning. After all he'd seen at the House of the rising Sun in the slums of Sulani. But Luci had approached him slowly and tenderly. Ji Ho shared his thoughts with Jack: "Do you think this might be a way to become more comfortable with Vlad and finally be able to love him? And to find my buried down feelings?" Jack: "I think that's brilliant! At least one of us learned something in that therapy. When you charge the Bond later, just try a bit more and we'll see how it goes."

A little later Vlad came down: "Uhm, I'm leaving now. The Bond..."

Ji Ho left the hot tub and went over to Vlad to charge the Bond - and try his new theory... They embraced each other as usual and then Ji Ho tried to kiss Vlad.

But Vlad moved his head aside and whispered: "I want nothing more than you - but not like this." Vlad's breath ghosted over Ji Ho's still wet skin and made him shiver.

Vlad still has his principles - not to forget his foolish pride. No way he's going to have a plain physical relationship with Ji Ho - without love. There is no 'two out of three ain't bad' or 'it's better than nothing' in Vlad's world ^^' Only 'it's all or nothing'. He would do anything for Ji Ho, but he won't - and can't do that. It would break him apart. That does not mean it was easy for him to not give in and leave. Vlad really is the master of self control ö.ö

And then Vlad left. Ji Ho seems a bit piqued after Vlad's rejection ^^'

'I can't stop this feeling Deep inside of me Girl, you just don't realize What you do to me

When you hold me In your arms so tight You let me know Everything's all right

I'm hooked on a feeling I'm high on believing That you're in love with me'

Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede from the OST of Guardians of the Galaxy I

Outtakes

He will be mine, oh yes, he will be mine.

Yang Mal: "Can we grill our corncobs now?" 🌽 Saiwa: "Uhm - sure ö.Ö'"

Ji Ho checking the mail... 📬 Who might have sent that letter when Ji Ho looks like that?

Tyalindo watching the sun set 🌅

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest 🕹️ 'Therapy Game' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

[emotionally-imbruised]

8, 18, 21, 24, 26. Lmao. Get Harry off haha

Lmaooo ok fine, I’ve been asked to write part 2 for the original one I posted cause poor Harry was snubbed; so here it is (it’s also longer woohoo.) He’s going to have a freaking time in this one, and omg I have to use so many of those prompts ok here we go (Sorry they’re not in order) But thanks for sending them in!

Merry Christmas, Harry - Pt. 2

Pt. 1 lol | masterlist

Here’s the prompt list 😬

*contains all the smut and fluff because hello, I’m writing it. Still not quite used to actually writing smut but anyways here ya go*

A small bump in the road jolts you awake, and you can’t help but smile a little bit as you glance over at Harry in the driver’s seat of the car. The two of you have just gotten back into London from staying at Anne’s house last night to spend Christmas Day with her, Gemma, and the rest of Harry’s family.

Your boyfriend slowly glances over at you and smiles lightly. ��Tired, petal?” He asks as he reaches over to give your knee a squeeze. “Didn’t mean t’wake yeh.”

“Mmm not so much anymore,” you tell him, and move your gaze to look out the window; realizing he’s taking a different way home than usual. “And no worries, but where are we going?”

“Uh, um, just need to pick up something,” he states awkwardly and tries to avoid your questioning gaze.

“Harry it’s Christmas, barely anything is open,” you explain. “What could you possibly need?”

“Uhm, erm… Condoms,” he mutters so quietly, you’re unsure if you heard him correctly.

“I’m sorry, what?” You ask with a chuckle.

“Condoms,” he replies a bit louder, and his face instantly reddens as you start laughing more.

“You’re going out of your way on Christmas to get condoms?” You joke, and he just glances at you disapprovingly. “Oh Harry, you couldn’t just wait one more day?”

“Well after what you pulled last night, no. I can’t,” he pouts, referring to what happened while the two of you were at Anne’s house. “A bit unfair, don’t you think?”

“The most unfair,” you tell him with a smirk, and reach over to put a hand on his cheek; just as he pulls into the parking lot of a small pharmacy; it’s open sign faintly blinking in the snowy weather. He puts the car in park and looks over to you; as if expecting some sort of sinde comment, but you don’t. “Well, get a move on then. It’s cold. And I did promise I’d make it up to you.”

“Ok, I’ll be right back,” he says with a broad smile as he leans over for a kiss, before exiting out of the car and making way to the store; trying not to slip on the snow-covered ground as he goes.

A few minutes pass, and he soon emerges from the store holding a bag of things; obviously, he didn’t want to go in there just for condoms. You can’t help but chuckle as he walks towards the car, and he gives you a knowing look. He shakes his head at you for laughing at him, until suddenly he slips on some of the covered ice, and falls to the cold ground; all of the items in the bag sprawling around him as he does so.

He lays there motionless for a second, and a panicky feeling takes over while you open the door to climb out of the Range Rover. “Oh my god, Harry, are you ok?” You ask worriedly as you shuffle towards him as fast as you can.

“Physically I’m fine,” he groans and leans onto his elbows so he can a better look at you. “Emotionally-.”

He goes to complete his sentence but is cut off by a screech coming from you, as you step onto a similar icy patch, and fall back onto your ass. You sit there staring at each other for a moment until he starts bursting out laughing, and stands up to come over and help you. “… I’m bruised,” you finish for him with a pout.

The look of pure amusement that’s on his face as he walks towards you causes a similar look to form on your features when he sticks his hand out to help pull you back up. With a playful smirk; you take his hand, and yank on it so he’ll fall back down to the ground beside you.

He falls face-first into the snow, and now it’s your turn to laugh as he wipes the snow off his face; turning to glare at you. “Think you’re funny?” He asks and shakes his hair free of the snowflakes that resided in his curls.

“Maybe,” you squeak, and try to compose yourself… but it only results in you laughing even more. He lets you laugh for a moment as he subtly forms a snowball in his hands, and tosses it at your shoulder when you’re least expecting; causing you to gasp loudly. “Harry!”

“M’sorry… but not really,” he shrugs with a smug grin, and you scowl. You move to make a snowball of your own, preparing to throw it at him as he looks back at you with wide eyes. “Y/N, don’t. Let’s just go to the car like the adults we both are, and go home… No more snowballs.”

You move your gaze from him to the ball of snow that slowly starts melting in your hold, and agree with his words. A sigh of relief escapes his mouth as you begin lowering your hand, and snap your gaze back to him; changing your mind. “Nah,” you tell him, and launch the snowball right at his face.

“Oh that’s it,” he growls and lunges at you; tackling you to the ground, but rolling so that you land on top of him as his back meets the cold ground again, and he starts pinching your sides. “Not so tough now, huh?”

“H-harry stop,” you whine as you squirm in his hold, but he refuses to let go. Chuckles ripple through him as you continue to struggle, and he rolls the two of you over so he can get a better look at your pouting face.

“Awe is someone upset they’re losing?” He taunts as the pinching comes to a stop, and he leans down to press a sweet kiss against your lips. You moan against his lips and grab a fist full of his jacket so he can be even closer. He breaks away slightly and takes a breath before his eyes bore into yours. “Don’t do that petal, you know what that does to me.”

You smirk; knowing he was referring to your moaning, and start sliding your hands around his chest. “There’s a method to my madness,” You tell him, and pull him down for another kiss.

The kiss becomes heated as he lays your back gently against the ground, and presses his lips harder to yours; not giving you the option to deny his tongue as it makes way into your mouth… not like you wanted to do that anyway. His hold on you tightens, and an idea springs to your mind as you feel his hardening bulge rub against your leg. Your hand slowly makes it’s way down and starts palming his dick through his pants, causing a moan to escape from his mouth this time.

“You play dirty,” he mumbles against your lips, and you just chuckle in response before he kisses you again; not stopping the hold you have on him. He’s quick to pull away again though, and your eyes instantly lock with his enticing green ones. “Are you sure you wanna do this? Because if we start, there’s no stopping until it’s all over, pet.”

“Guess we better get home than cause we’re not doing this in a parking lot… or in the snow for that matter,” you state as you place a quick peck onto his lips before breaking free from his hold, and standing back up. “Let’s go.”

“Why do I feel like I’m getting snubbed again,” he mumbles as he stands up, and the two of you move to pick up the items that have been laying on the ground for the past few minutes. “When we get home, Y/N… I’ll have you up against the wall in a second.”

“You’ll be fine, Harry,” you tell him firmly as you toss the box of condoms to him, and he rolls his eyes as he catches it. “And is that a threat, or a promise?”

“Open for interpretation,” he huffs, and pulls the car keys out from his pocket; sulking as you’s climb in and head on home.

The whole drive home consists of you teasing your boyfriend, as he scowls; and you are trying your best not to freeze from the wet clothes you’re wearing. A loud sigh of relief leaves Harry’s mouth as he turns onto a street and the townhouse the two of you share comes into view, causing you to smirk yet again. Once he pulls into the driveway, and puts the car in park; he turns to face you, giving you a confident, suggestive look.

Knowing what he was doing; you just send him a wink and stay silent as you climb out of the vehicle, and make your way up the stairs towards the front door. You take your set of keys out of your purse and use them to unlock the door as Harry slowly comes up the stairs behind you.

Inside, you toss your keys onto the small table that resides in the hallway by the stairs as Harry closes and locks the door behind him, slowly turning to face you. A smug grin returns to your mouth as you wriggle your eyebrows at him teasingly, and move to take off your coat and boots. Just as you finish hanging your jacket up, you turn around and are met by Harry’s lips attacking yours, as he pushes you up against the wall; keeping true to his words. You respond instantly by moving to help with removing his coat, and tangling your hands into his curls as the piece of clothing falls to the ground.

“Eager?” You ask teasingly, and he just pulls you in for another kiss.

“You have no idea,” he replies huskily and starts placing kisses down your neck; nipping, and sucking as he goes. “Wanna take this to the bed? Or the table, bench, shower, you choose.”

“Mmm bed sounds perfect,” you hum in response, and move to lead him up the stairs towards the master bedroom. As soon as you are through the door; your lips are on each other again as he leads you to the bed, and gently lays you down so he can hover over you.

He instantly starts working on removing your clothes, as you assist in taking off his as well; letting the cold air nip at both of your’s exposed skin, rather than the cold, wet clothes you’s were wearing. His ring covered fingers leave tingles along your skin everywhere they touch and unsurprisingly causes you to let out a gasp as they come in contact with your soaking wet core. “So ready for me already,” he states with a grin, and you let out a whimper; the need for him growing substantially.

“Stop teasing,” you whine, and start moving away from him; earning yourself a questioning glance from the man of your dreams. You stand up from the bed, and walk around him; his eyes never leaving you. “It’s your turn, remember? I can wait.”

“How did I ever get so lucky finding you?” He asks as you start gently pushing him down so he sits on the edge of the bed, separating his legs so you can kneel down between them; but he stops you by placing his hand under your chin, and moving your gaze to meet his so you can’t avoid what he’s saying. “I mean it Y/N. You’re so perfect, I can’t even explain it.”

“The sex is that good, hmm?” You joke, and he looks at you disapprovingly. “I’m kidding, H. You really don’t have to tell me this. I mean, yes it’s nice to hear, but I really hope that you know I feel the same way about you… God, I can’t even put into words how much I love you. I just love you so much.”

“And I love you,” he states, as he moves to kiss you desperately. You stumble slightly at the contact, and grip onto his thigh to balance yourself out; leaning against him as he wraps his arms around your waist.

“Good,” you tell him with a smile, and start kneeling down again; pulling his boxers down as you go, and watch as his throbbing cock springs up. He goes to respond but doesn’t get the chance to as your mouth makes way over his leaking tip, and he sucks in a deep breath. The saltiness of his pre-cum mixes with your saliva as you bob your mouth up and down his shaft, taking him in as much as you can. You do this until his tip hits the back of your throat, letting the hand that isn’t gripping his thigh play with his balls; repeating your same actions over and over again for the next few minutes.

His hand massages into your hair as you do this; moaning your name, and sweet nothings as you bring him closer to his high. Your tongue continues dancing around his prick, and you flutter your eyes up to make eye contact with him; causing him to almost lose it right then and there. “Fuck, Y/N,” he groans, and leans his head back, as you suck hard. “I-I’m gonna cum… Need to be quick lovie, I-I.” He doesn’t finish his sentence as he comes undone, and warm sticky strings of cum start shooting to the back of your throat, as you continue with your movements until you’ve swallowed every last bit.

You move away slowly; wiping his remnants away from your mouth as you stand back up and watch him take a couple of breaths. A smirk falls across your mouth again as you crawl onto the bed, and start leaving a trail of kisses up his chest, to his neck and eventually his jaw. “You’re not done already, are you?” You mumble against his skin before finally meet his lips again.

“Not even close,” he replies and smirks as he rolls away to reach into the drawer in the bedside table next to his side of the bed; pulling out a single condom.

“I thought you were out of those,” you scoff, and smack his arm.

“This is my last one,” he chuckles and rips open the small package, so he can slide the rubber onto his erected penis. “Have to keep stocked up, y’know, in case we don’t leave the house and need each other for warmth.”

“Already convinced we’re going to get hypothermia from rolling in the snow,” you state in a matter of factly tone, and he rolls his eyes as he moves back towards you; pulling you, so you’re leaning on top of him, giving you yet another smug grin. You start chuckling lightly as you lean against his chest, and shake your head. “Look at what’s happened to us. Geez, we’re worse than a pair of sex-crazed teenagers… It’s embarrassing.”

“No I think we were more embarrassing as teens in general,” he states with a laugh and starts gently stroking your sides. “I mean, it took us until we weren’t teens anymore to realize that we wanted to be more than friends. Teenage us didn’t know what they were doing.”

“Ok valid,” you agree with a smile. “Actually, teenage me knew she wanted to end up with you; despite you being away all the time touring, and being my best friend. Now, look where that’s gotten us… poor me.”

“Oh get off it,” he snarks and leans up to meet your lips in another heated kiss. After a moment of making out, you pull away and remove your underwear swiftly. You start kneeling again over his semi-hard dick, and reach down to hold onto his long length, and align it with your dripping wet slit as you slide yourself down it; his hands guiding your hips at the same time, before gripping onto your ass, and smacking it. It’s been a while since the two of you had done this seeing as he got home from LA just before the two of you left for Holmes Chapel, and you can’t help but let out a quick breath as he stretches your walls. “You alright, petal?”

“Mhmm,” you tell him, and start rocking your hips against his.

“God, yer so tight,” he groans as you start picking up the pace with faster movements. “But still feels as if that pussy of yours was made specifically for me.”

“Maybe it was,” you hum as his hands start massaging your exposed breasts; his cold rings sending shivers through your body each time they come in contact with your hard nipples. He then moves one hand to start rubbing your clit as you continue riding him, and the sensation is overwhelming. You gasp, and lean forward against him; various grunts and moans leaving the two of you, as you struggle to catch your breath.

His hands move to your back and thigh as he flips the two of you over, so your back is on the mattress, and he starts quick, hard thrusts into your middle. More moans escape your mouth as you get closer to your high, and his pace quickens even more. You bite down on your bottom lip to keep yourself quiet, but Harry isn’t having it as he leans down to whisper into your ear. “We’re home now, love,” he starts. “Don’t gotta quiet yourself here, I want to hear you. Need to hear yeh say my name.”

He attacks your clit again, rubbing the sensitive nub in just the right spot to set you over the edge. “H-Harry oh fuck,” you groan as your back arches off the mattress, and you clench around his hardened cock. This initiates his second orgasm of the night, as his thrusts slow down and become sloppy; allowing him to ride out his own high with you.

Once you are both done, he slides out of you and flops down onto the bed as well; sending you the goofiest grin. “Round two?” He asks as you continue panting beside him.

You shake your head and run a hand through his curls. “Run us a bath, and then maybe we can talk,” you tell him, and he perks right up.

“Deal,” he states and rolls away from you, before running butt-naked towards the en-suite door, and disappearing behind it; causing you to laugh, as you follow after him.

[i-see-my-otps-in-erised]

Rising Sun - Part 3

AO3 | Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six

They had been driving for two weeks now, stopping at every hole-in-the-wall diner and shop they pleased. Draco felt freer than he had in a very long time. He could kick his feet up on the dashboard, much to Harry's dismay, and bask in the sun as they drove down any road that called to them. The nights were the only thing that bothered him. Harry refused to get a hotel room, so he was forced to sleep in the back of the truck. It wasn't horribly uncomfortable, but it was… awkward, to say the least. Draco found himself clutching at the trunks side, trying to sleep as far away from Harry's warmth as possible. It also didn't help that Harry was an impossibly restless sleeper. He moved constantly, even speaking every so often, and always managed to wrap Draco close to him. It had gotten to a point where he had stopped fighting it, letting Harry hug him until the warmth lulled him to sleep. It wasn't such a big deal when he considered the fact that Draco woke up earlier than him, able to pull himself away before Harry groggily awoke and got ready for the day.

It was also bloody lucky that they had their magic. Otherwise, they'd need to go into a hotel for a much-needed shower. Draco still felt mucky, despite the cleaning charms. There was something about a warm shower that made him feel refreshed. It didn't seem to bother Harry. He always seemed so happy in the mornings. He must be used to it all since he'd been traveling like this for at least a year now. Draco had only just started about a month ago.

"Draco?"

"Hm?" Harry's voice pulled him out of his thoughts from the passenger seat.

"I was wondering where we should go eat."

"Oh." Draco looked around him, realizing that they were in a small town, filled with run-down buildings and family shops. "Whatever looks good to you."

Harry smiled, nodding. "So, same as usual."

"You know," Draco teased, "For an adventurer, you sure like to play it safe."

Harry shrugged, "Is that not allowed?"

"I figured a Gryffindor would take more risks."

"I like what I like," Harry chuckled. He looked around the town, trying to find any semblance of a diner or waffle house. He pulled into a small lot when he spotted one.

They walked into the diner, grabbing a booth as a waitress handed them their menus.

"Let me guess," Draco drawled, "You'll have the waffles."

"And coffee."

"And coffee," Draco said with a good-natured eye roll.

The waitress came back, taking down their order and serving their drinks. As they waited, Harry scrolled through his phone. It was hooked up to a cord that plugged into the wall. Draco still wasn't sure how it all worked, but he wasn't sure he wanted to. It seemed like every time Harry tried to teach him muggle things, Draco could never get it right.

Harry chuckled at the contraption, piquing Draco's interest.

"What's so funny?" He smirked.

Harry shook his head, turning the phone towards him. "It's Ron. He doesn't believe me."

Draco squinted at the screen, reading the messages that flashed there.

"What's… WhatsApp?"

"Huh? Oh, I just downloaded it. Way easier than the other app."

"'App'?"

"Just- Read the messages, Draco," Harry snapped, but his face was soft. Draco grinned at him and took the phone in his hands awkwardly.

 You wouldn't believe who's with me now.

Who?

Draco Malfoy

Ha good one

I mean it. We're driving together now.

Harry quit taking the piss.

 Draco smirked, "Can I respond?"

Harry blinked, surprised. "Uh, sure."

Draco began typing very slowly, needing to search for each individual letter. He ignored the snort that came from Harry.

 Hello Weasel. This is Draco. I am texting you now.

Harry, it's not funny. You lost your humor in the states, then?

Potter was never funny to begin with, Weasley.

Wow. You really do sound like him.

Because I am him! Why would I need to lie to someone like you? It's a waste of time.

… Bloody hell, you are Malfoy.

Yes. Hell

I meant Hello. These phones are horribly hard to use.

Tell me about it. You get used to them eventually. Put Harry back on.

 Draco handed the phone to a curious looking Harry. He scanned the screen before smiling widely. He started typing back. After a moment his cheeks flushed 

"Let me see!" Draco said hastily, grabbing at the phone.

"Uhm, no, Ron's just being dumb."

Draco quickly snatched it from Harry's hands and held it high away from him. "I'm used to that from him."

He glanced at the phone shakily as Harry attempted to yank it back by its cord.

 It's Harry now.

Is Malfoy looking?

No?

Good. What are you doing, mate??? Are you two friends now????

Haha kind of?

… Wait. You're dating him?

No?? What? How did you get that from "kind of"??

Sounded… suggestive.

We're not dating. I just meant… we understa

What?

Harry?

Mate??? Is he killing you??? I'll tell Hermione!!!

 Draco's cheeks warmed as he read, and he laughed as he got to the end. Harry quickly stood up, coming around the table to Draco's side of the booth and snatched the phone from him.

"He's an idiot," Draco snorted.

"It's rude to look at other's conversations."

"Well, I find it rude that you can't tell him what we really are."

Harry froze, looking at Draco incredulously, "Wha-?"

"Homeless mates," Draco smirked. He laughed at that, shaking his head.

"Right. Guess I'll have to tell him the truth then," He snickered.

"You owe it to him."

The waitress suddenly appeared, quickly setting down their food next to each other and refiling Harry's coffee. Draco furrowed his brow at the touching plates and opened his mouth to tell her that they wouldn't stay in the same seat, but Harry was already grabbing a fork from across the table.

"Thank you," He said cheerfully at her, digging into his platter of waffles.

Draco stared at him. Harry was already a third into his food before he noticed. He froze, catching Draco's eye.

"… What?"

"Shouldn't you go back to your seat?" Draco asked slowly as if explaining it to a child.

"What's wrong with sitting here?"

Draco pursed his lips, not coming up with a better excuse other than "I'll be red in the face the entire time since we barely have room and our bodies will be touching the entire bloody time", so he left it alone and ate.

Harry grinned at him, "Want some?" He offered his fork full of spongey breakfast cake. Draco snorted and shook his head. He stabbed into his ham, cutting off a piece and pointing it towards Harry.

"Want to try? You ought to have something new once in a while."

Harry rolled his eyes, "I know what ham tastes like." But he leaned over and ate from Draco's fork nonetheless, making Draco flush profusely.

"I was going to put it on your plate!"

"Ew, no. The food will touch." Harry smirked, turning back to his plate full of mixed eggs, bacon, and waffles.

"Like you care!" Draco huffed, turning away and sliding his plate with him.

Harry tugged at his arm, "Aw, Draco. I'm teasing."

"You always like getting a rise out of me. I don't see the fun in that," Draco mumbled, picking at his eggs.

Harry leaned forward, resting his head on Draco's shoulder. He froze at the sudden contact, Harry's breath hot on his ear. "Draco, don't be mad. You're always mad at me."

"Because you're always bothering me." Draco glared at him, but he couldn't turn his head all the way. Otherwise, his lips would brush against his cheek.

"… Do you want me to move back to my seat?" His voice was suddenly serious. Draco's stomach twisted and he knew he couldn't lie to him.

"No."

"You sure?" Harry's tone was still serious, but there was a hint of hopefulness to it.

"Just stay where you are, Harry." Draco sighed, defeated.

Harry chuckled, "Alright." He didn't move away from his shoulder, humming to himself happily.

"I didn't mean it that literally!"

Harry snorted, moving away and settling back into his seat. "Oh? I wasn't sure."

Draco rubbed at his face, hoping it wasn't as red as it felt, and slid his plate back to its original place.

"I swear, you've been acting like such a child lately."

Harry merely grinned at him, continuing to eat his food.

Merlin, Draco thought, I won't last very long, will I?

-

Nightfall came quicker than expected. Harry turned off the engine to the parked truck as Draco hopped out and walked to the back to organize the makeshift bed Harry had made. He glanced out the back window, watching Draco climb into the truck and cast cleaning charms over the bed sheets. He realized he was staring and shook himself, climbing out of the car.

He still couldn't believe that Draco was there with him. It felt weird in some ways like they were disobeying the universe and rebelling in some way. One thing for sure was that Draco made Harry feel like a teenager again. When he was on his own, he didn't realize how lonely he was. It didn't feel very different from when he was in the Wizarding World, but he did have some sense of relief, so it never bothered him. But now, whenever Harry imagined Draco trying to leave him again, his heart ached. If Draco wanted to go back… Harry had a feeling he'd go with him. And the thought that he had such a hold on Harry's life was daunting.

But in some ways, it made sense. When he was alone, almost every night was filled with restless nights. He found himself waking up from nightmares constantly. Now, when he found himself jolted awake, all he had to do was see Draco in his arms and easily drift back to sleep.

Harry remembered their first night in the back of the truck. Draco was whining about a hotel and Harry had to remind them that their pockets weren't endlessly flowing with muggle money.

"We could just use magic, then!"

Harry had just laughed at that and told him they definitely couldn't do that. Eventually, Draco settled reluctantly into the sheets next to him, but when Harry woke up he was mortified to see his arms wrapped around Draco like it was natural. He had quickly put as much distance between them as he could, but every night was the same thing.

That first morning he had woken up early as he usually did and watched Draco, his even breaths light against his collarbone, until he started stirring and Harry quickly pretended he was still asleep. It was the hardest thing he'd ever done -and he'd defeated Voldemort- as he promptly heard Draco freaking out at the situation and forced himself not to laugh.

Harry chuckled at the memory, leaning against the car's frame. Draco never said anything about it and that made Harry irritatingly hopeful. He glared at the ground beneath him. He shouldn't be hopeful about anything other than deepening his friendship with Draco…

"Right," Harry sighed.

"What's your problem?" Draco said next to his ear. Harry jumped, turning to see him leaning over the side of the car from the truck bed.

"Merlin, Draco."

"Wow," He grinned, leaning closer, "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing," He snapped. He flushed at Draco's widening smile.

"Come on, who else are you gonna tell besides me?"

Harry shrugged, pulling himself over the car frame and plopping onto the thick layering of blankets. "Ron, most likely."

Draco sulked slightly, making Harry snicker. "Fine. Don't tell me."

He crawled over to his spot on the bed and laid down, his back turned to Harry.

"Aw, are you mad at me?"

"Sod off, Potter."

Harry laughed, following Draco and resting his head on his shoulder, trying to peak at his face. "Don't be mad. I'll tell you."

Draco paused, then tilted his head slightly to look at him, his pouting expression mixed with an air of hopefulness. Harry's chest tightened and he couldn't help but smile. "I was just thinking about how great it is you're here with me."

His face immediately went red, his mouth falling open. "You were not!" He yelled and sat up angrily, causing Harry to fall over on his back.

"I was!"

"Liar," Draco hit him on his arm and Harry caught his hand, pulling him closer.

"I promise you I was," He said softly. Draco rolled his eyes, yanking it away abruptly.

"Whatever. Keep that sappy shit to yourself, Harry." He turned over and laid next to him on his back, their shoulders brushing against each other as they looked up at the sparkling night sky. Harry glanced at him and saw the corners of his mouth twitch up.

"You wanted to know."

"Yeah, yeah…"

Harry stared at the stars above him, counting the constellations he found there. He suddenly raised his arm and pointed at one of them.

"That's you."

"What?" Draco blinked at him, following his gaze blankly. "I'm the sky?"

Harry laughed, "No. Your name. It's a constellation. That one."

"Oh."

There was a beat of silence.

"They should make a constellation for you," Draco murmured. Harry snapped his head around right as Draco clapped a hand on his mouth, his own expression bewildered. "I didn't say that," His voice was muffled.

Harry grinned, turning on his side towards him. "You did."

Draco squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head violently. Harry laughed, pulling at his hand. Draco resisted, but he turned over to face him nonetheless. He kept his eyes closed. Harry took the chance to look at him, staring at the light freckles on his cheeks and nose, standing out against his pink skin. On the nights when he was alone, Harry only had the stars to comfort him. Now he was entranced by a different array of dots.

"You know," Harry said slowly, ignoring the tug of his heart telling him to be silent, "If I were to have a constellation I'd want it to be here." He grazed his knuckles against Draco's cheek.

Draco froze, his eyes slowly opening to look at him. His hand slid from his mouth and rested against the bed sheets. Harry continued to caress him, moving so that his thumb was rubbing circles on the top of his cheekbone. Draco didn't make a sound and Harry's stomach twisted. Now he'd done it. So much for their friendship. Draco was sure to make a run for it now.

As if on cue, Draco's eyes suddenly widened and he sat up. Harry followed him, trying to think of a way to shrug it off as a joke, but he stopped when he felt something surround them. Something… dark. His head whipped around as he looked for its source. He saw nothing but desert.

"Did you-?" Draco started, glancing around as well.

"Yeah…" Harry moved into a protective position closer to Draco. He saw him grab his wand and cursed as he realized his was in the car seat.

They sat perfectly still, slowly looking around for any hint of a predator. But as quickly as it came, the feeling vanished. So much so that Harry thought he imagined it. But Draco's shaking body proved otherwise.

"Hey, hey," He said softly, pulling Draco towards him. Draco swallowed thickly as he leaned against Harry's chest. Harry remained cautious, still looking out into the night as he stroked Draco's hair.

"What was that?" Draco said breathlessly.

"No idea…"

"It felt like…" He trailed off, shaking his head.

After a moment, when Harry was sure there was no imminent danger, he pulled Draco back to look at him. "Let's get a hotel."

He nodded in agreement and they quickly started up the car. Harry held onto Draco's hand the entire drive, but even the warmth of his touch couldn't shake off the unsettling feeling of being watched.

I hope you liked part three! I’m getting excited about where I’m taking it. I hope you are too <3 I wrote this instead of doing homework whooops

Also, if you want to be added to the tagging list you’ll have to reply to the most recent part of the series to be added. This is just so I can keep it organized and not be overwhelmed <3333 Also, I'm sorry my computer is dumb so sometimes even when I think I tagged you it doesn’t register and notify you for some reason?? So sorry technology has failed me... :(((

Requested tags: @rheya1864 @curvuto @secretlycrazyhummingbird @ljetno-sivilo @just-some-bibliophile @rose-grangerweasleyisbae @call-me-hopelesss @just4syd @crash1012 @andreanavxrro @reading-till-5am @porksoda01 @scarhead-5-88 @defluoxx @bluepoliceboxwitch @meandminniemcg @you-wrote-a-bad-song-petey

[stupidpianist]

31 october 2018

11:49: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! LET’S GET THIS BREAD!! I’M OUT OF BED!! I GOT UP!! I’M UP I’M UP I’M UP!! Hah this is no cause for celebration, if you’re getting out of bed at 11:49 and considering it an accomplishment you probably got some issues… like… I… might…

Okay I had MORE NIGHTMARES last night??? What gives??? I feel like it’s just a period of my life, it’s not because of any reason, maybe it’s the ~~~spooky~~~ atmosphere right now surrounding Halloween, and at least, like, the nightmares don’t wake me up until morning anyways, but it’s not the most pleasant way to wake up, being like, oh wow, thanks, mind, you did it again, didn’t you, you big trickster, you made me feel really scared/distraught again, wow, thanks so much. To be honest I’ve been awake for a bit already, I just didn’t want to get out of bed, so I just stared at things on my phone. Not the best way to start the day, but I’m going to make some G Fuel, brush my teeth, you know, the usual, take out the garbage, head to school. Don’t have anything until my work shift at 19h, though I’ll also go to the protest to change the Redmen name for McGill’s men’s sports teams at 14h. Still, that gives me a lot of time to practice, which I haven’t done for three days now??? That’s really egregious, now that midterms are over I have to go “full force” to prep for prescreening recordings. At least this is something I’m experienced in, like, I’ve done this so many times, it’ll be okay, I know how to practice, it’s just I need to start waking earlier again. It was going so well for a bit and I just regressed, I guess…

Don’t want to make salad or anything and I don’t have any breakfast foods besides oatmeal and I don’t really want to make oatmeal either, so I guess it’ll just be a G Fuel breakfast? Maybe I’ll finally get that sausage muffin sandwich from Tim Horton’s I was talking about a few days ago, and a coffee, or something. Feeling a lot groggier than I did yesterday, but also feels like I have some momentum today that I didn’t yesterday? Going to try and carry this through, today will be a simple schedule: -go to mclennan, do first liveblog update of the day -go to protest -go to tim horton’s for coffee and sausage biscuit sandwich -go practice -go to work -grab beer after work on way home -drink beer at home while reading things and “surfing the ‘net”

Not feeling very social so probably won’t go to any Halloween parties tonight, I think. Halloween is one of my favourite holidays, but I’m feeling pretty introverted today, not in a like negative or detracting or bad or unwanted way.

12:44: “Plopped down” at computer. Have a bit over an hour before protest starts to slam out a liveblog update, will probably use the rest of the time to continue reading Almost Transparent Blue in French. Oh, OH I didn’t tell you something really strange!! So after I got home with the French translation of Almost Transparent Blue I started just skimming through it, finding specific scenes I wanted to read, and flipped to the end of the book to read the letter, and was like, “wait, why is the French letter so much longer than the English one?” So I start reading and I’m like, holy crap, the English translation has completely removed this first paragraph, where Ryu is talking about if Lilly recognizes the photograph on the cover of the book, if she remembers when he took the photo? And he’s like, “I specifically requested this be used as the cover because the entire time I was writing this book I was picturing your face.” So, okay, yes, the French edition does have a photograph of a Japanese punk-looking woman on it, but on further investigation, looking at the photo copyright, I’m really skeptical that it’s the actual photo of Lilly, because the copyright of the photo isn’t for Ryu, it’s for a Marc Gantier. So, okay, fine, not the actual photo, that makes sense, protect her privacy, but then why do all the English editions omit this paragraph??? What was the rationale behind this??? It’s such an integral and important paragraph and I had NO IDEA it existed for SO LONG until this moment!! Is the paragraph removed from other translations, too??? Also, like, from Googling, I can’t seem to find any original Japanese edition which features any photograph of any woman on the cover, so it seems that despite the letter in the back, no edition ever had the real photo, so even if it was removed for privacy reasons, why doesn’t the English edition include this paragraph, and just append a footnote being like, “the reason why the cover doesn’t feature Lilly is for privacy”????? It made me genuinely angry, like, you can’t go removing entire paragraphs when translating a text…

Okay okay rant over, rant over, I promise. Going to “throw some tunes on,” then do some more Bleu presque transparent reading, excited to find any more differences, also excited to take this Timmie biscuit to the face.

13:41: Hey look, I made a monologue script of someone trying to place an order at a fast food establishment, check it out look at this hahahahah:

“oh hey, sorry, yeah, let me just get a uhhhhh, hold on, just a second haha, i'm sorry, uh--

yeah, yeah, okay, uhm,

n-no no it's okay you can go before me it's fine it's fine, really, i'm still deciding, i'm jus—

oh okay yeah, if you're sure, yeah, okay, hahah, sorry, let me get uh,

just ah, uhh, yeah, okay, i'll just have,

shoot, i'm really sorry i'm really sorry i just, hah, i can't uh decide between these two, uh,

do you have a favourite? do you have a favourite, like, menu item? like, is, uhh, i don't know, is, that one better, or this one? i'm really indecisive hahaha, i'm really sorry for taking so long, yeah, okay, uhh, sure sure, yes haha i'll just get the uhhmm,

okay, okay, yes, i'll have, uhhhh...

hey are you sure you don't want to go before me? i mean like are you in a rush or anything? no? okay, okay, sure, so i'll just get then the uhh, shoot, i just lost what i was looking at haha hah uhh shoot shoot shoot, lemme just find it again i was just looking at it,

OH okay GOT IT yes okay yeah i'll have that one? sorry i can't read the number is it a three?? my vision is pretty bad hahah yeah, what? what? sorry hahaha i can't understand you, what did you say? the-- oh, oh, no, that's not the one i actually wanted, no no, i'm sorry, no no it's not your fault really it's totally all me, it's my bad, no i wanted the uhhh, the uh shoot i can't even read the name, i'm really sorry about all this, just, just get me the uhh

sorry, i'm so sorry, sorry, i must be like out of practice i guess heheh am i right? sorry sorry you're right okay i'll be serious now, i'm holding up the line, i'm so sorry for doing this, i just don't know what kind of mood i'm in, i don't know which meal to get, let me just uhhhhh, maybe i'll just go with a classic, uh, so, like, uhhhmm, yeah-- okay, yes, yeah, how about the uhhh, shoot hold on i'm getting a phone call--

yes? YES? i'm sorry, i can't hear you. no, CAN'T HEAR YOU. can you call back later? no no, i said, can you call back LATER? can you- can you just-- okay, i'm hanging up, i have to go, i, okay, bye. BYE!

--oh gosh sorry, okay, where was i? did i order yet? did you get my order? oh jeez i guess i haven't even given you the order yet, wow, sorry, i spaced out so hard just now, that was my mother, she must be driving under a tunnel or something, i could barely make out what she was saying!! okay, yeah, yeesh there's just so many options, okay, yes, so let me get uhhhh

i know, i know, i'm sorry i don't want me to be doing this either, i just don't know what to get, i just can't, can, could you just order whatever you want for me? i'll pay for it, i'll pay, here, here's my credit card, just place whatever order you want. oh gosh no no please i don't need to speak to your manager, i know it's against policy and you can't legally do it but please, just please, i really don't want to keep standing here, i don't even know if i'm hungry anymore, i just, i just want any meal, really, i won't tell your manager you placed the order, okay? it's-

i'm sorry sir, i told you you could have gone before me if you wanted, do you, do-- oh, oh, okay, uh okay yes i'll just finish my order then, you're right, i'm almost there, yeah, i don't want to have to start over, so let me just, let me just check my bank balance, okay? i just need to check my balance and make sure i have enough to pay for the meal i want, hold on, let me just log into my banking app real quick. this will only take a second, i promise, just, wait, just hold on, please, please, uhhhhh, uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, uhhhhhhhh... shoot shoot shoot i'm forgetting my password and now i'm forgetting my recovery questions' answers, oh god, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, hold on, hold on”

Oh man I feel like I could just continue doing this forever, like at least for an hour straight, like this could just turn into a novel, just an entire novel of someone stuttering and feeling embarrassed and not knowing what to order and just circularly maneuvering around it unintentionally like hahahah I really like this idea.

This isn’t what I’ve been working on I promise this isn’t the “impetus of a new short story” I was talking about but like COME ON hahahah let me, LET ME WRITE THIS just LET ME WRITE about this poor person who CAN’T ORDER hahahaha

Genuinely forget who told me this, this was a really funny story, but I can’t remember who told me… Hold on, wait, going to see if I can will this memory back into existence, wait, just a second… Uhhh… DAMN no it’s impossible, I’m ~90% sure it was one of my guy friends but this was a while back, but the story was, HERE LET ME TELL YOU: he had a friend who had a thing where he would practice and every time he went to Taco Bell he would say his order as quickly as he could, and the result was one of the funniest things ever because he got so good at it that he could just spew out the order and completely flabbergast the cashier and everyone around him and then everyone would just start laughing hysterically as they asked him to repeat the order.

What’s, like, the most egregious food you could eat in a library? What could you just “bring out” and shove in your face, what consumption could you take to your face that would just throw people? Like I’m talking, It’s Always Sunny, Charlie Kelly eating spaghetti out of a ziplock bag levels of ridiculous. I WANT TO KNOW, I REALLY WANT TO KNOW. Going to think about this as the day goes on, want to make this fantasy YOUR REALITY. Can’t be something smelly or something that would offend people, needs to just be something funny that I can bring out and put away easily if someone asks me to stop eating. Hm. Tricky. Very tricky.

What am I even doing right now hahahah

14:45: Wrote “let’s get this bread” in my timesheet document to denote that I’m starting to practice piano now, does that make sense? Do you understand? I AM STARTING TO PRACTICE PIANO. I have my sausage biscuit from Tim Horton’s, I have my medium coffee, I’m READY TO GO. Visited Poppy for a bit in her practice room, had a nice chat, went to my practice room, took that biscuit to the face, drank all of the coffee, let’s practice let’s get some feeling back in my fingers before they fall off completely.

18:02: Guess where I am.

No, you have to guess.

You probably got it right, yeah, I’m in a library, wow, quelle surprise. The MUSIC library, to be specific, because my shift is in Tanna tonight, same building. I’m still feeling groggy, but I practiced really well, it was three solid hours without looking at my phone and only one practice break which lasted ten minutes. Feeling good about that, that’s a good way to get “back on the bus,” dangerous to immediately shoot back up to five-six hour average, start with three, tomorrow inch it to four, and then it’ll be practically back to where it was. Definitely did feel awkward and clumsy at the keys, though, it’s amazing that even three days without touching a piano but still thinking about the music constantly can degrade ability so much, like, decades of work just undone in a few days?? There’s a quotation from Arthur Rubinstein, gonna paraphrase it, it’s like, “if I don’t practice for a day, I notice, if I don’t practice for two, the critics notice, if I don’t practice for three, the audience notices.” Feels so accurate.

“Looking forward” to tomorrow, when I know the instant I touch the piano it’s going to feel so much more fluent again than whatever the hell happened today. I didn’t even sound that bad, I think, it just felt so off, like if you sat down to type on a computer keyboard and the keys were all in the same position, but the keys were, like, all shaped like trapezoids. Can’t complain, though, the practice session could have gone a LOT WORSE, like, maybe it’s because I’m feeling the pressure but it was scandalously easy to not lose focus, was very engaged in just trying to improve my playing the entire time, barely lost concentration for a minute.

During my practice break I went outside and someone in a full-body Pikachu costume was just walking down the street, and I was laughing so hard, and then they started turning towards the music building and in my head was like “yes yes yes” and then they started coming up the stairs and my head started going “yes YES YES YESYESYESYES” and then I asked them if I could take a photo with them and then my head was all “OOOOOOHMYGODYESYESYESYESYES.” I have no idea who the “person behind the mask” is but I love them and I wish them all the best.

Now got a bit under an hour before my shift starts. Not feeling like reading more Bleu presque transparent right now, been really receptive of late that it’s probably bad for mental health if literally all the music I listen to is depressing and everything I’m reading is depressing, feels like, no matter how mentally healthy you are, if all you’re consuming is dark, you just have to be affected, so, like, okay, right now I’m listening to KROY, which is still melancholic, I should change the album, yeesh, one sec--

GOD IT’S BEEN LIKE SIX MINUTES and I’ve been scrolling through my massive music library and I just DON’T KNOW what else to play, I don’t want to stop playing this album, why do I only listen to depressing albums why am I so drawn to sad music, guh, okay, need to make a decision, give me another minute--

OKAY I did it, changed to a really really old playlist I made back in high school called “Music for Excessive Yelling.” Used to neurotically make these massive intricate playlists for every occasion, like, “Riding in a Taxi” or “Walking on the Sidewalk” or “Sitting in a Cafe” or “Using the Bathroom.” Remember I used to walk around campus some days when I was particularly manic and blast this playlist with my friends via Bluetooth speaker. Can’t believe no teachers ever asked us to stop, like, these songs are pretty explicit…

I can “get down” with this again, I can write/read while listening to happy music, I can do this??? Okay I know I’m someone who’s really really really affected by music, case in point I already feel a definitive mood lift, it’s like my brain just went ALRIGHT LET’S MAKE THIS DOPAMINE HE FINALLY STOPPED BLASTING BELL WITCH wow this is great!! Man I have to revamp the music on my iPod and put some of these “bangers” back on it, gotta start walking around again dancing to fun music, not melancholic music.

18:27: Going to idly browse the internet, I think, read up on some news and reviews and whatnot until work starts. Will probably continue reading Disaster Artist on my shift. Crap, looking at the program for the concert, looks like I might be doing a little more than, wait, no, I spoke too soon, it’s a jazz guitar ensemble concert, so I’ll probably just open the door to let them out, open the door to let them backstage, and then strike the stage?? Okay, will probably be a pretty chill shift then, it should be over at 22h, then I can “self medicate” at home, not gonna get drunk or anything but it’s Halloween, I can have a few beers “guilt free” right, even though it’s a Wednesday??

Feel like the week is all uphill from this point on, tomorrow Jasleen and Astoria and I think Michael and Phoebe are coming over to my place (for once) to hang out/idly watch a movie/help people dye their hair or do stick-and-pokes or cut their hair. Made plans with A to meet up on Friday too at an undesignated time and location, got that to “look forward to” too. This week was a struggle but I think it’s going to end on a high note?? As long as I keep putting in effort, today was good, I “did good” today, I think, just need to continue practicing hard tomorrow. Feels good that I don’t have to worry about studying for a few days before I start catching up before finals slams my face into the concrete.

Highly recommend blasting this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1hTaEBR5dg

18:41: Reading up on the “usual slew” of music publications, trying to discover some new releases that are positive, thought the new Weakened Friends album sounded intriguing, I haven’t consistently listened to indie/alt rock in so long, and I heard their singer is spectacular. Pulled up some singles and WOW I LOVE IT, they’re even coming to Montreal in early November?? I love when I just discover a band and then they just happen to be coming to Montreal, one of the best feelings. Also one of the best feelings: discovering new band and finding yourself getting absolutely engrossed in their lore/history/every song they’ve ever released and then just for days/weeks on end you are just listening to them CONSTANTLY and deriving like consistent amazing pleasure from it.

LIKE LISTEN TO THIS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blxyr3tUBfQ

How can u not love it wow it like evokes a distinct smell and sensation and like FEELING that’s enveloping my body, it’s such an identifiable feeling but I can’t describe it, it’s like, walking home from the school bus stop in middle school after saying bye to your friends and stepping off the bus and it’s autumn and you’ve got your old white iPod headphones in that aren’t those newer earpods and they’re plugged into your cracked screen iPod nano and you’re thinking about your crush that you haven’t spoken to but have exchanged fleeting glances with for a weeks on end, and that crush lives in your neighbourhood just a few houses down, and there’s leaves that have almost completely blanketed the sidewalk and road and it hasn’t rained in a while so they’re real crisp and you can feel things crunching with each step, and you’ve got your hands in your pockets, and it’s a friday and you’re about to go drink some pop and play a bunch of video games until your parents come home from work, and later in the day you’re going to get one of your parents to drive you to a friend’s house to watch a movie and eat a bunch of junk food and you know your crush is going too, and so you’re trying not to fixate on that fact but of course it’s impossible, so you’re just completely enthralled and excited and trying to put the thought out of your mind because waiting just a few hours is unbearable, and the sun is not exactly setting and it’s not yet cold enough to have more than just a hoodie on, and so you’re just walking along the road kicking at stones fantasizing about your crush, BUT BUT

BUT it’s not JUST this feeling directly, it’s like, you’re REMINISCING about this feeling.

THERE, THAT’S exactly how this song makes me feel, I hope you understand, feel like this is a pretty universally empathizable feeling for a lot of people that grew up in the suburbs??????

Feel like I’m dancing way too aggressively in the library rn, but totally am not going to stop wow I wish I could sync my iPod with the school computers so I can throw this album on and listen to it on my walk home… Sad I won’t be able to do this UGH

19:09: Y’all don’t even know how gregarious I was just now, I made the BEST conversation with the ushers and stage manager tonight I’m just riding an emotional high that’s getting more and more positive. I was just flinging out good conversation left and right and left and right, it was ceaseless, I was like an air conditioning unit blowing charisma. Realizing now this is probably the least charismatic way of describing what just happened but I’m over it. Okay gonna “crack open” Disaster Artist now and have some humorous casual reading, wish me luck!!!

20:06: Okay concert has started. Should be very casual affair, finding myself enjoying this jazz. IT’s nice just to sit backstage and “vibe out” to stuff like this, enjoying the book too, they match up nicely. Feeling real “mellow,” like a nice cup of hot chocolate. ��

21:03: Onto the second half of the concert now. Feeling a little low in energy, but very excited to get home so I can listen to the rest of that Weakened Friends album. Feeling kind of impatient for this concert to end, I appreciate it but I have a hunch that I’m going to go over the 22h that my shift is actually supposed to end at. Not that it matters very much, I shouldn’t be complaining about this or anything, it’s really petty, but I’d just like to not be backstage anymore. Want to “taste the outside air” or something, just be back in my apartment in my own space. At least the book is entertaining, yeah, yeah, and I’m glad I don’t have to stress about completing any assignment or studying anymore tonight. That’s such a strange feeling, wow, been a few weeks since this... has been the case...

Guitar players on stage really struggling with their pedals and amp setup, they haven’t started playing yet, seems like they’ve finally figured it out. Imagining myself going out there flailing my arms around and shouting, “efficiency is our number one priority, guys.” 

21:20: Wow okay this second half is so much better than the first, it’s with a different ensemble wow they’re great, I’m jamming out back here, no longer anxious for the concert to end, really “enjoying myself”

Thank you god or whatever gods or the universe for today like it feels like a microcosm or synecdoche of the week, like it started rough but has been getting better and better, and so has the week, and I’m really feeling grateful for whatever forces are at play that’s making it so, just “throwing this out there,” just “getting it out there”

22:00: Okay yeah I’m not getting out of here for a while longer... These guys are totally running over time as planned. Now I’m slightly annoyed, god, it’s not hard to plan out and time a concert... Also stressing about applications, going to send out e-mails for recommendation letters tomorrow and really think hard about the list of schools to apply to. God I hate this process I know everyone does but really really not looking forward to all this.