#me and my mum are going to hell for this conversation I swear-

[moron-hassaikai-and-more]

Setsuno and Chrono: *in the car and see a large group of people all dressed in black*

Setsuno: …

Chrono: …

Setsuno: …Well someone’s dead.

Chrono: pffft- I was going to say the same thing but I thought it would be rude

Setsuno: naaah, they can’t hear us.

*an ambulance drives past*

Chrono: it’s a bit too late for that, mate.

Both of them: *burst out laughing*

Setsuno: we’re terrible people

Chrono: oh absolutely

[sim0nril3y]

Meet the Family

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Civilian!Reader Scenario: Simon has the joy of meeting your family and finding out why don't you see or talk about them all that much. This brings up some unwanted memories and feelings for him too. Warnings: No mask Simon (It's my personal headcanon in his regular life he probably wouldn't wear it), family drama, shouting, very small mention of Simon's childhood, family disapproval, family arguing, reader has family, reader has siblings, family names are established but no descriptions, canon-typical swearing.

It appeared that your phone was making more of a ruckus than usual later. It seemed to buzz and beep much more frequently, each time your eyes cast down to check it they narrowed, then rolled before you pushed the device far, far away from where you had to interact with it. Yet still it actively vied for your attention. “Everything okay, babe?” Simon quizzed, pulling the cork out of the wine he’d chosen and beginning to pour you a glass. “Fine.” You short answer replied, picking up the glass and taking a large gulp.

Taking a seat opposite Simon battled internally about whether to push this conversation anymore. He wondered, if the situation was reversed if you would have tried to get more information out of him. Bloody hell. You would. “I just couldn’t help but notice you seemed a little… upset by your phone.” Nodding his head in the direction of the device. “Is something up?”

For a moment you paused, mauling over the situation for a moment before letting out a low huff and answering. “My sister is having a ‘get-together’ for her anniversary…” You announced with a heavy amount of disdain in your voice. “We’ve been invited.” Of course, you’d mentioned your family before but until this point Simon had never met them and the opportunity had never been there. “Honestly, I’m surprised I’m invited Anna said it’ll just be close family…”

“Well, I guess you count as close family considering you’re her sister, love.” Simon pointed out and you let out a low huff again. “Who else is going to be there?” “My mum and dad. My little brother Peter. Obviously, my older sister Anna, her husband Barney and their son Hunter.” Simon couldn’t help but frown at that. It would be a lot of your family to meet at once. “And do you… want to go?”

Again, you didn’t have a response right away, eyes darting away before back towards him. “I… I don’t know…” Then shaking your head. “Anna is begging me to come, but I know that is only to get the heat off her because if I’m there then all my parent’s attention will fall to me and they will explain exactly where I’ve gone wrong with my life.” Simon couldn’t help but frown at that comment, he didn’t like the thought of your family speaking poorly of you. A heavy sigh escaped your mouth. “Would… you want to go?” The question came out tiny and vulnerable, like you might scare him off with that alone.

“They know about me?” Simon quizzed, he’d never met them and he’d never really pressed to do that, he was in love with you and that was all he needed in his life. “They do…” You replied evenly. “They don’t approve... It isn’t because of you.” You quickly add with wide eyes. “They don’t approve of anyone outside of the family. They hated any girl that Peter brought home and they tolerate Barney, but that is only because they gave them a grandchild to fawn over.” You explained before frowning. “Si, I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to come…”

For a moment he mauled over his options, he could go and accept whatever snide comments and berating came from your family, or he could send you to the wolves and stay home like a coward. Simon Riley was not a coward. “Tell her we’ll be there.” He leaned over to clink his glass against her own.

It was a bit of a drive to Anna’s home she shared with her husband and their son, but that gave you plenty of time to fill in all the dirty details about your family. You had started with your older sister, she was seen as the golden child and your parents bragged about almost everything that she did, her perfect marriage, her perfect children, her perfect house and her perfect holiday home. You explained, Anna had gone to a top University to study finance, but during her gap year galivanting about the US she’d met Barney who’d promptly fallen in love with her and got her pregnant. This wouldn’t typically be too big of a problem, apart from the fact that Anna been engaged before setting off and in a desperate need to escape the monotony of her relationship and her perfect life she’d thrown it all away from another lad.

It was a blow to her parents that their perfect eldest daughter had this mishap, however the fact that Barney came from an incredibly wealthy family and owned his own tech company certainly helped ease him into the family. Then their grandson Hunter came into the picture and everything was a perfect ending from there.

On the other hand, there was your younger brother Peter who had barely scraped by in his school and your parents had to persuade Universities to accept him. He spent more times in clubs than in his classes. Your parents saw him as a typical boy, causing some trouble and chasing the ladies. Boys will be boys; they’d excused with a hearty laugh as Peter would be trotted to the cells for indecent exposer or public indecency. Still even after all the trouble he’d caused Peter was still the apple of their eyes, your mother fawned over him and your father tried moulding him into his protégé.

Then there was you. With a sister that was perfect and a brother that they dotted on that left very little time or energy for you. It seemed like you just slipped through the cracks. Even when they did have time spare for you every decision, you’d made they hadn’t approved. In their eyes, you were simply the wild little fuck-up. It pained and riled Simon that anyone thought of you as anything but perfect and good and kind.

Once they arrived at your sisters’ home Simon was surprised to find that it was an expensive looking townhouse that had been renovated to have some modern features. This strangle matched the dreamhouse that you’d muttered to him one night in your post-sex chatter, it made Simon wonder who had desired the house first, maybe it was you and Anna had simply stolen that dream to taunt you. Approached the modern frosted glass door, it opened and out stepped an older woman with a disguised smile on her face, dressed in a smart, conservative dress with sharp kitten heels. Your hand squeezed his own as you approached, announcing nicely. “Mum…” Ah, your mother, Cynthia…

“Hello darling.” Her voice was soft but hiding something, like a sickly sweet venom that was encasing you both. You had mentioned that she was high strung and highly critical, that remained to be seen. If there was one thing that Cynthia enjoyed in life it was gossiping, followed by bragging about her family, or at least some of her family members, certainly not you, you’d joked to Simon but there was a pained reality to that snide remark. “Look at you, that is certainly an interesting dress…” She observed, cupping your face then. “You look very tired, are you sleeping well?” The snide remarks had already begun, Simon observed.

You complained lowly. “Mum…” Then looked towards Simon, eyes pleading for some form of help or safety or escape but only found his own dark set that matched your own fear. “This is-” Cynthia cut you off and turned her viper grin towards at him, those dangerous eyes scanned him and searched for any little weakness or vulnerability. “This must be Simon.” Cynthia let out an almost cynical laugh. “Now, I must ask your sister to set another place, we weren’t sure that you were real…” It was another little dig that made you wince.

Cynthia then allowed the two of you to follow her further into the house, a lounge area stood before them and three men lingered inside of it. An older man sat on the sofa, drink in hand and head drooping, another around Simon’s age stood behind a small make-shift bar, cleaning glasses and straightening bottles of the labels faced out and proud and then across the room a younger man was texting on his phone. “Simon, make yourself comfortable with the men. That is my husband, Harold. This is my son-in-law, Barney.” Cynthia even gifted him a snide smile, the same she had done to Simon, they were outsiders after all, not as important as blood, simply there to give her grandchildren. “And that is my son Peter~”

Turning to you and lowering her voice, Cynthia said. “Darling, don’t worry that you didn’t bring a present, your sister understands that you don’t make a lot of money-” “N-no, I just left it at home.” You attempted to explain but your mother just chortled lowly and squeezed your shoulder. “Oh, I’m sure… just like how Peter ate all your Christmas chocolate when you were 10, hmm?” Then she poked your tummy in jest. “But I think we all know where it went.”

Simon forced himself to grit his teeth, looking between and watching you purse your lips, accepting the vicious attack with a tight smile and glossy eyes. “Now, don’t make that face~” Cynthia smirked directly at you, as if knowing she was pushing your buttons. “Come, your sister will want some help in the kitchen, I’m sure you’ll survive being apart from your boyfriend for five minutes, hmm?” Then looking towards Simon and asking. “You won’t mind if I borrow her, will you?”

More than anything he wanted to deny her, snatch you up into his side and away from anymore of her cruel remarks, but her claw-like hands were already circling you and tugging you from the room before he had a chance. The next moment, a presence walked up behind him and Simon turned to see a very happy looking man stood there. “Hey man…” A thick American accent rolled from him. “My name is Barney, you must be Simon, right?” He was quick to shake his hand and comment. “Quite the grip there, you play golf?”

Shaking his head Simon followed him back to where he’d been lingering (or probably hiding) behind his bar. “Do you drink, man? What’s your poison?” Barney asked enthusiastically, very proudly gesturing to the array of bottles that were placed behind the bar, squeaky clean but hardly used. “Whiskey. Neat.” Then leaning against the bar and waiting for it to be made. Another approached, this time your brother, tucking his phone away into his pocket as he sidled up beside him, elbows resting on the bar too, matching him stance for stance. “Simon, right? The latest addition to our fucked up little family.” Peter commented, his tone just as snide as his mother’s – the apple didn’t fall far, he supposed. “I’m sure my sister told you all about me…”

“She mentioned a few things…” Simon answered evenly, reaching out to take the offered drink from Barney, drinking it down a little too quickly to appear casual. Bloody hell, he’d been on battlefields and felt less anxious. “Well, I’ve got a few stories about my sister that I’m sure you’ll want to hear too~” The young lad began before Simon glanced in his direction, testing and bothered by his presence.

Sensing the impending tension Barney let out a hearty chuckle and said. “Maybe another time, huh?” Then giving Peter a pointed look. “Simon… what do you do for a job?” He asked in a friendly enough way, this seemed to catch the attention of Harold who actually glanced in his direction, quietly accessing and judging, it felt like you were the only normal one to actually come out of this family. “I’m in the special forces.” Simon explained, keeping his answers short and sweet, not allowing too many details to slip out, it wouldn’t be professional. They all had different reactions to this little piece of information. Peter quirked a brow whilst Barney grinned and nodded. “That’s tight. Respect, man.”

“A solider…” Peter muttered. “Lieutenant, actually.” Simon corrected in a sharp tone. There wasn’t many things in life he was proud about but you and his career were among the only few.

Again, your brother seemed to stir from beside him. “So…” Looking at him, wanting to judge Simon’s reaction. “How many people you killed?” The question was so crass that it actually made Barney gasp before letting out a nervous laugh and saying. “Pete, I’m not sure you can ask questions like that, man…” Then another laugh before giving his brother-in-law a soft punch on the shoulder, followed by a pointed look, don’t push.

There was this clear power struggle that Peter was trying to win. This happened often with rich boys like your brother, they saw Simon as a threat because he was physically much more impending than them, feeling even worse when they discovered that Simon wasn’t as dumb as they thought he looked.

“Not something that I keep count of…” Simon answered keeping his face straight, remaining unbothered. It was a good answer, it was formal and dignified, not to mention filled with some honesty. It wasn’t like Simon could even keep count anymore, even if he had wanted to. Peter seemed unimpressed with that answer and simply huffed before saying. “Bet you could think of at least five different ways to kill me in here, right?” Again, this spiked the interest of Harold, glancing in their direction.

Another challenge. Another prod. Another opportunity to attempt to make Simon look unhinged. Attempting to break the tension Barney laughed awkwardly. “This joker-” “I could think at least ten.” Simon retorted, dark eyes watching Peter to see that smugness falter for just a moment as true fear sank in. From across the room for just a split second Harold smirked then it washed away as he finished his fifth drink of the night.

The room was thick with an air of tension as you stepped inside looking completely flustered. “It’s uh… it’s time for dinner.” You informed them, frowning as you tried to access the atmosphere, approaching Simon to rest a delicate hand on his forearm, wrapping yourself around the limb. The room cleared out as Barney escorted his in-laws to his dinning room. Gazing up at Simon, you asked. “You alright?”

Simon’s eyes seemed to focus on where Peter had been escorted from the room, watching that area on alert for a few moments before his gaze flittered back in your direction. “Told your brother I could think of ten ways to kill him in this room alone…”

You blinked. Slow and calculating. Attempting to understand the words that Simon had just rushed in your direction. “Excuse me?” You muttered, staring up into his eyes in confusion. “Why… why would you say-” “He was pushing me.” There was an edge of frustration to his tone. You brother had gotten under Simon’s skin a lot more than he was willing to admit aloud. Reaching up you cupped his face and looked into his eyes with such care and sincerity, it really did pain you to witness your family treating him in a way that left him so anxious and wound up. “I believe you.” You whispered. “I believe you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. My fucking family… It’s my family, they make it their mission to push and prod and make your life misery. I’m sorry-”

A short huff came from Simon, leaning in to kiss your forehead gently and replying. “You don’t ever apologies for any of them.” He told you, voice firm and sure. There was no part of this that was your fault. You were born into a family of cynical fakers, wanting to make everyone else’s lives as miserable as their own. He hadn’t even been around them for an hour yet, but Simon could see that you were the only good thing to come from your family. He could force himself to survive the rest of the dinner party for you… but when this was over, he never wanted to see these people again.

“Come on, now…” Your mothers voice entered the lounge and she lingered in the doorway, big fake smile on her lips and glass of wine in hand. “You were late to the party and now you’ll be late for dinner too…” Cynthia chortled, clearly still holding that grudge. “I swear, my darling girl would be late to her own funeral too…” The comment was made as she swayed down the hallway towards the dining room, Simon simply grit his teeth and continued to bite his tongue. A few more hours, he reminded himself constantly.

The dinner that was severed was nice enough. Honestly, the only cooking that you actually enjoyed nowadays was anything that Simon served up for you and it was something he was more than happy to take care of for you. It was mundane and simple and peaceful, just for some time he could force his noisy brain to shut off, it simply wasn’t warfare.

You sat beside him, food pushing around your plate, probably each little biting comment from your mother stripped away any hunger from you. Cynthia had persuaded your siblings to list all their recent achievements to you, which they seemed all too happy to do. Maybe they knew that if all that vitriol that poured from your mother was aimed at you, then they’d continue to escape it… or maybe they enjoyed it because they were just as cruel as she was.

“Are you enjoying the food?” Cynthia quirked a soft brow at Simon, it was a strange observation but Simon noted that your mother wore a face so similar to your own, maybe more than the rest of your siblings but not even one of your expressions matched. There was so much pure and true joy and easiness in your smile, but each time your mother did the same it seemed like it might crack her face into tiny pieces. “I’m sure you aren’t used to a good homecooked meal, hmm?” Then laughing lowly. “Especially with this one’s cooking…” Pointing a fork in your direction.

“It’s fine.” Simon responded evenly, clearly not to exaggerated praise that your mother had been expecting, simply narrowing her eyes and taking back another gulp of wine. “I like to cook for us…” His hand then rests on your knee beneath the table, reminding you that you weren’t alone facing your horrid family, but that Simon had your back. “Between the two of us, I have more time to cook, anyway.” Then he shrugged, gazing in your direction and seeing your desperation to find safety and warmth within him. “With all the hours that she works and then the time she spends on her art, I like to keep her fed…” Too afraid to continue aloud, Simon thought, keep her warm, provided for her, keep her happy, keep her satisfied. Just… keep her.

A deep scoff came from Cynthia then, another big glug of wine until her glass was empty. It seemed that Simon had given Peter the opportunity to speak then, smirking from across the table. “Speaking of work…” Those dangerous eyes loomed as you sat a little straighter in your chair. “Heard from a friend that you missed that interview dad set up…” The comment was thrown out there so casually but you were left reeling as you knew the chaos that simple comment would cause. Besides, how did he even know that? There wasn’t a chance in the world that Peter had friends to be able to tell him that information, so what? Was he following you? Keeping tabs on you? Before you even had the chance to interrogate him Cynthia spoke first.

“No, no…” Placing down the wine bottle onto the table with a heavy thud, eyes fixed on you. “Please tell me that isn’t true.” Raising her brows, as if waiting for you to deny Peter’s allegations but you remained sheepishly quiet. “You lied to me.” There was a fiery rage in her eyes now and you knew that you were in for it. “You told me that you went. I can’t believe you would lie to your own mother…” Your mouth opened then, as if to defend yourself but Cynthia was much too quick to continue her tirade. “We have spoken about this again and again… I made it clear it is time to give up on this silly little fantasy that you’ve been holding onto. It is time to grow up and join the real world. You need to be more like your brother and your sister…” Gesturing wildly to them as Anna sat almost ashamed with her gaze down to her lap and Peter sat there with a smarmy smile the instigator of this.

Again, you opened your mouth, but her hand came up sharp in your direction. “Do you know the strings your father had to pull to organise that interview?” Then gesturing towards Harold who seemed completely unphased, cutting his steak into another bitesize piece whilst his wife continued to berate their daughter before the audience. “You are such an ungrateful brat and you always have been. When will you understand? You have absolutely zero desirable qualities so finding a decent job will be very difficult for you… who in their right mind is going to want to hire someone like you, hmm?”

Everyone apart from Cynthia and Peter appeared mortified, Anna looked to you with horror on her face and then Barney spoke, careful smile on his face. “She still had plenty of time to figure out what she wants to do, right? Anna took a gap year during college… Pete did the same… So, she isn’t going abroad or whatever, instead she’s trying to… to… figure out if she can follow her passion, I think it’s-” “Be quiet.” Cynthia growled at him then, teeth grit. “Don’t talk such nonsense… Peter and Anna were working hard at college and needed a break to find themselves and after returned to college and get their degrees. What does she have? Nothing. I couldn’t even convince her to apply to any colleges… She is a lazy, stubborn, silly little girl and you are chasing a hopeless dream-” “Enough.”

Every set of eyes then turned to look at Simon who sat with a furious look present on his face. At the beginning of the evening, he could maybe accept those biting little comments, he could certainly accept the way that Peter had provoked him, Simon could even accept the way that your mother had sat there bragging about your siblings but he wasn’t going to allow her to utterly humiliate you like this. “You don’t fuckin’ talk to her that way.” Carefully from beside him, you muttered his name, a soft plead to try and calm the fight that seemed inevitable now. “No.” He told you firmly, quietly, gazing down at you with a set jaw and narrowed eyes. “I won’t just sit there and let her fuckin’ talk to you like this… I wont… I can’t…”

It wasn’t like Simon had grown up in a good household. It was clearly different from your own. Simon had witnessed his father completely decimate any good in his family and he was too young and too small and too scared to stop him or do anything. This is why he is the man he is today; he wouldn’t allow that again and seeing your family ripping you to shreds, tearing apart any good and hope and light inside of you was too much for him. Not you. Never you.

“Simon, please. You simply don’t understand...” Cynthia began. “My daughter lives in this word of make believe where she thinks she is going to become and artists and be able to make money and buy big houses like her sister. It’s just ridiculous. I’ve tried getting through to her, but-” “Your daughter is a fuckin’ adult.” Simon growled then, leaning into the table slightly so he could talk across at her. “She doesn’t need you to find her a job and she doesn’t need you to approve the choices that she makes in her life.” Simon growled, feeling this need to protect you and keep you safe, that very same one that had grown for his mother in his childhood. Different, but… the same. “Your daughter… your daughter is fuckin’ amazing. There isn’t a thing about her that needs to change. She’s intelligent and she’s soft and kind and she’s really fuckin’ talented and I wonder how all of that managed to happen when she grew up around you cunts-” The entire table seemed to gasp in unison.

There seemed to be this stunned silence before everyone erupted, Peter almost fell off his chair laughing, whilst baby Hunter wailed from the commotion. Cynthia stood stark upright, jabbing a finger in his direction. “Unacceptable! Disgusting! Unacceptable! He’s an animal! He’s feral!” Stalk through the house on a tirade of insults aimed in his direction with her husband trailing behind her. Anna was trying to hopelessly clean a puddle of wine from where it had teetered over onto the table. “It’s fucking vintage!” There were real tears in her eyes, much to Simon’s surprise.

Just then Barney stood up, bouncing his son in his arms and looking between you and Simon. “I think… I think it would be best if you guys left.” There was sorrow in his eyes as he suggested it, not wanting to be unkind but just not wanting anymore drama. It was probably for the best even if Simon did have a few more choice words for them.

The entire car ride home you were unusually quiet beside him. He was actually a little lost on how to handle this situation. There weren’t a part of him that was sorry for what he’d said to your family, or more specifically your mother. Simon just couldn’t handle the fact that she could talk to you in such a vile way. There was only so much that Simon was willing to take and he’d lost it. Fuck, had he scared you? Were you mad at him? Were you sad for causing a rift in your family? Had he even caused a rift? Clearly, they hadn’t thought very much of you before he’d been there…

A small sniffle from beside him caught his attention, glancing in your direction and under the glow of the streetlamps Simon saw your face wet with tears. Without hesitation Simon signalled and pulled his truck onto an empty road, clambering from the driver’s seat and around to yank open your door. A moment later his arms were around you, hand supporting the back of your head burying your face into the crook of his shoulder. “You’re alright. Shh. You’re alright, babe.”

After a few moments of allowing, you to just sob into his shoulder, your voice muffled against his shirt. “Don’t ca-care what they s-say about me-” “Well, I do.” There was a thick edge to his voice, pulling back to cup your face and looking for any sign of fight towards your family but you seemed defeated, you seemed emotionally drained. Where was that witty girl that had corned him on a night out? Where was the one that had to almost twist his arm to open up? Where was that fight for her own pretty self? “I care about what they say about you because they are dead fuckin’ wrong, babe. No one deserved to be talked to like that. I won’t allow it.”

There was something deeper simmering here behind all this. There was something that Simon didn’t want to confess or discuss. The berating. The belittling. The treatment of less than… This was something that Simon wouldn’t allow for you because he had experienced it and much worse. “You don’t deserve it.” It was like Simon was talking to all the people in his life that hadn’t deserved the fate they were given. You. Him. His mum. His brother. His friends he’d lost. The soldiers that had died in his arms. “Okay?” “Okay.”

Masterlist | Ask | 04-02-2024

[pfhwrittes]

title: citations needed (on ao3 here) pairing: none. characters: kate laswell, john price, kyle "gaz" garrick, simon "ghost" riley, john "soap" mactavish, kate laswell's wife and kyle "gaz" garrick's mums. rating: T

word count: 1.1k

cw/tw: swearing, alcohol, texting fic, basically a crack-fic.

a/n: a series of various text conversations documenting kyle “gaz” garrick’s evening as his mum’s plus one at an academic fundraiser. my eternal love goes to @gemmahale, @stuffireadandenjoy, @syoddeye and @391780 for encouraging this utter nonsense.

[Gaz has created a new group chat: SOS CODE RED] 

Soap Suds has been added to the chat Casper the Unfriendly Ghost has been added to the chat Cap has been added to the chat Casper the Unfriendly Ghost has left the chat Soap Suds has added Casper the Unfriendly Ghost to the chat Boss Lady has been added to the chat

Gaz: SOS. EMERGENCY EXFIL REQ. IMMEDIATELY.  Cap: No - John 👍 Soap Suds: 👀 Boss Lady: It’s not that bad Kyle. 

Casper the Unfriendly Ghost has left the chat Soap Suds has added Casper the Unfriendly Ghost to the chat

Gaz: CAP I WILL DO YOUR PAPERWORK BY HAND IF YOU SEND A CAR IMMEDIATELY. Cap: No - John 👍 Soap Suds: wats going on 👀 ur maw’s thing not goin well?? Boss Lady: It seems that Kyle was unaware that my wife and I would be attending tonight’s fundraiser. Cap: And you didn’t think to tell him, Kate? - John 👍 Soap Suds: tell us more laswell 👀 🍿

–

[A private conversation between Gaz and Soap Suds] 

Soap Suds: is laswell’s wife fit?? Gaz: Not now mate.  Soap Suds: ill pay u gd money to send me a pic 🥵 Gaz: You’re sick. Soap Suds: as a dog 👅 💦 Soap Suds: please???

–

[A private conversation between MacTavish and SR] 

SR: Stop adding me to the chat you twat. 

– 

[A private conversation between JP and KL] 

JP: Send me photos of Garrick losing his mind. KL: Contact F&A and I’ll consider it.  JP: Done.  KL: Nice doing business with you John. 

–

[A private conversation between two unidentified numbers] +447******913: kate pls can i have a pci of ur wife?? +447******913: *pic Withheld Number: No. 

+447******913 has been blocked

–

[Group chat: SOS CODE RED] Soap Suds: send us a pic of u n ur maw gaz Gaz: No. Cap: No - John 👍 Boss Lady: No. 

Casper the Unfriendly Ghost has removed Soap Suds from the chat

Cap: Thank you Simon - John 👍

–

[A private conversation between Kyle and Mama] 

Kyle: Why didn’t you say Kate and her wife would be here?! Mama: Shit. Don’t let your mum get into the red wine. Xx Kyle: Bit late for that!  Mama: LOL. Xx Mama: Good Luck! Xx

–

[A private conversation between KL and JP] JP: How’s it going? KL: Remember Marrakech?  JP: Bloody hell.

–

[A private conversation between Gaz and Soap Suds] Soap Suds: add me back to the chat 🥺 Gaz: Busy.  Soap Suds: please 🥺

–

[A private conversation between MacTavish and SR]  MacTavish: add me back to the chat 🥺 MacTavish: please 🥺

–

[A private conversation between JM and JP]  JM: add me back to the chat 🥺 JM: please 🥺 JP: Never send me that face again  - John 👍 JM: 🥺 JM: will u at least tell laswell to unblock me??

–

[Group chat: SOS CODE RED]  Cap has added Soap Suds to the chat

Cap: Sorry Kate. Lesser of two evils  - John 👍

Casper the Unfriendly Ghost has left the chat Soap Suds has added Casper the Unfriendly Ghost to the chat Casper the Unfriendly Ghost has left the chat Soap Suds has added Casper the Unfriendly Ghost to the chat

Boss Lady: Boys. Enough. 

Casper the Unfriendly Ghost: 👍 Soap Suds: sorry kate 🥺 Boss Lady: Never send me that face again.  Cap: LOL - John 👍

–

[A private conversation between JP and KL] KL: Really John? 

–

[A private conversation between MacTavish and SR]  SR: Pack it in you dozy cunt.  MacTavish: make me 😘

–

[Group chat: SOS CODE RED] Boss Lady: [Sent a picture of Gaz standing between two women with an uncomfortable expression on his face holding two empty glasses as they glare at each other] 

Soap Suds: 🥵🥵🥵 Boss Lady: 🤨  Soap Suds: i was talking about gaz!! Cap: Everyone looks very nice - John 👍

–

[A private conversation between Gaz and Soap Suds]  Soap Suds: mate 🥵

Gaz has blocked Soap Suds

–

[Group chat: SOS CODE RED] Boss Lady: Gaz, location.  Gaz: Seated at the table. Lost visual on Mum.  Gaz: You?  Boss Lady: Bar. Also lost visual.  Gaz: Shit.  Boss Lady: Call me.  Soap Suds: 👀

–

[A private conversation between KG and KL] KG: Sorry signal is shit. Update?  KL: Visual contact confirmed. They’re talking to the head of the department.  KG: Together?  KL: Yes.  KG: … The bald guy?  KL: Affirmative.  KG: Are you still at the bar?  KL: I’ve ordered tequila.  KG: Order me a shot.  KG: Please. KL: Already waiting for you.  KG: You’re the best, Kate.  KL: I know. 

–

[Group chat: SOS CODE RED]  Gaz: [Sent a voice note where two distinct voices, one American and one English, can be heard agreeing with each other at volume as another third voice attempts to interrupt them. The English voice can clearly be heard to say “Oh, do fuck off Richard!” before the voice note ends.] 

Gaz: Shit. Didn’t mean to send that.  Soap Suds: kate is that you??🥵 Boss Lady: No.  Cap: No - John 👍 Soap Suds: mrs laswell???  Casper the Unfriendly Ghost: Professor Laswell you twat.  Boss Lady: Thank you Simon. Casper the Unfriendly Ghost: 👍

–

[A private conversation between Wife ❤️ and Love Of My Life 💛]  Wife ❤️: Are you having fun, Darling? Xx

Love Of My Life 💛: [Sent a slightly blurry self taken photo of four people, three women and one young man, seated around a small round table. There are numerous empty glasses on the table in front of the quartet. Kyle is smiling with his face pressed close to an older woman who shares his same dark eyes. Kate is facing the camera but her eyes are directed towards the woman resting her head on her shoulder. Kate has a tiny smile on her face.] 

Wife ❤️: I can’t wait for you to come home. Xx

–

[A private conversation between Kyle and Mama] 

Mama: Time to cut your Mum off LOL. Xx Kyle: [Sent a slightly blurry photo of two full shot glasses] Mama: Time to cut YOU off. Xx

–

[A private conversation between Kate and S. Garrick] 

S. Garrick: [Forwarded a photo] S. Garrick: You all look lovely Kate. Xx Kate: Thank you. Brunch tomorrow?  S. Garrick: Absolutely. Xx

–

[A private conversation between KL and JP] 

KL: [Sent a photo of Kyle with his head in his hands]  JP: The Christmas 2008 story?  KL: Yep.  JP: Brilliant. 

–

[Group chat: SOS CODE RED] 

Gaz: [Sent a self taken picture of a woman with a wide but slightly tired smile on her face. In the background Kyle can be seen resting his head on the table, possibly asleep. Over her shoulder a pair of women are slightly blurred as Kate helps her wife wrap a pashmina around her shoulders] 

Gaz: Exfil requested? X

Cap: Of course - John 👍 Soap Suds: ur lookin very bonnie mrs garrick😘 Casper the Unfriendly Ghost: ETA 5 minutes. Will give you a hand with him.  Cap: Good lad  - John 👍 Gaz: Thank you sweetheart X

[ptolemaeacles]

omg!! ur litrally carrying the hazel x reader tag!! thank u babes saving me from watching ruby cruz edits and blushing!!

N e ways… I never see anyone says this buttt I think Hazel and her mum deff have a kinda close (but kinda fractured currently) friendship, where Hazel’s mum knows she’s into girls. And when reader comes around for the first time (even if platonically) Ms Callahan is all like “So,,, your Hazels ‘friend’?? *wink wink*” when she finds you in the kitchen alone.

Also, Hazel would def be so embarrassed at her Mums behavior until reader is laughing and saying how sweet it is… just thoughts. Erg I’m in love with losers…

wait i love this. her mom lowkey thinks that hazel can’t pull (ms callahan has good intentions i swear) so when hazel brings a girl home for a ‘study session’ for the first time, her mom is automatically in her business. popping into her room every now and then, asking if you guys were hungry or thirsty, etc.

the both of you head downstairs to take a break from studying and grab a snack. you and hazel were simply chatting in the kitchen, her laughing about a tiktok she saw and she goes back up to her room to grab her phone and show you the video.

and ms callahan, conveniently, enters the kitchen the moment hazel is out of sight. (she’s been waiting to get you alone, that woman is nosy as hell).

“oh hi sweetheart, i didn’t see you there,” ms. callahan entered the kitchen, exclaiming in a very obvious faux surprise, “where’d hazel go?”

“she went up to her room to grab her phone, ms. callahan!” you addressed her with a sweet tone. she already liked you.

“hm speaking of her room, what were you guys doing up there?…” she was not being slick at all, “you know, she doesn’t usually have people over besides those girls from her fight club so i’m curious.” she looked up at you through her eyelashes.

“oh ms. callahan, we were just studying for a calc-”

“you can tell me the truth, honey, i’d be glad actually if hazel finally got herself a girlfriend-”

“MOM!” your rather funny conversation with hazel’s mom came to a sudden halt.

“hey hazel, how was the studying going?” her mom spoke as if she wasn’t just interrogating you about your relationship with her daughter.

“we’re going back up to my room to continue studying.” hazel made an emphasis on the last word and grabbed your hand, practically dragging you out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

“nice talking to you, ms. callahan!” you waved bye to her, wanting to be as polite as possible.

“you too, sweetheart, and if you guys do decide to do something other than studying, use protection!” ms. callahan yelled from kitchen.

“ugh mom that’s not even how that works and we are studying!” hazel groaned, pulling you into her room while you used your free hand to cover the bottom of your face, trying to hide your giggles.

[megs-1800]

Always have your back

Note: Please as always leave me feedback and any requests

Summary: Everything is going well with you and Mason until your ex starts messaging you and pressuring you to send him money. Mason is the one who cleared all the mess that your ex left behind. How is Mason going to accept you helping your ex again?

Pairings: Mason Mount x Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: Swearing, angst, Fluff and toxic ex

It’s a freezing autumn night, I am sat curled up in my Disney pjs, hair up in a bun, blanket and Netflix on. Mason has a Tuesday night kick off tonight so I know he won’t be home until late. I quickly snap a photo of me curled up and send it to Mason with the caption “wish you were here ;)” then quickly forwarded it up with “good luck my number 7 go out and smash it”. I know he probably cannot reply but I least I text him some encouragement. I then put my phone down and started to cook dinner.

Thats when my Facebook notification binged up, no one ever messages me on FB. My profile is private so it’s not like any fans can message me and all the people I talk to have my number so I am confused. That’s when I see the name show up ‘James’. Fuck! I thought, what the hell does this prick want. James was my ex that I was with just before me and Mason got together, he left me in loads of debt and hating my life. Then I saw the message he just put “Hi x” I messaged straight back “Hi” with no kiss I did not want to engage with this conversation. I can see the message was opened and he was typing, he was typing for quite a while that’s when it finally binged again. It said:

“Look I know you hate me, I am sorry for what I did to you. I was hurt you ended it. I know it was my fault for all the lies and the drugs I was a mess but I am different now. I am trying to turn my life around Y/N/N. I just owe these dealers money and I need to pay them, I cleared most of it I just need another £200. Once that’s paid that’s everyone cleared and I can focus on my new life. I am scared they threatening to come to my mums and my sisters house, please you know how much they meant to you. Please, I start a new job tomorrow and I get paid weekly so I will pay you back at the end of next week, I promise this time no bullshit”.

I didn’t want to believe him, I have heard all these lies before but I know the trouble he can get in and the people he gets involved with are serious. How could I live with myself if his family got hurt when I could help? I really didn’t want to but its just £200 in the scheme of things what is that? I replied “Yeah sure it’s a one off I will not send you anymore and I want it back on Friday.” He replied thanking me and send me the bank details on where to send it and confirmed he would send it straight back. I really wanted to believe him this time.

The next couple of days were busy with work and Mason has been busy with training, you know how hard he is working to ensure he doesn’t get injured again which I am praying his non-injury spell lasts. I was working away at home when I heard my phone buzz again, it was a FB notification. I saw it was James again. “Hey Y/N, I really wouldn’t ask unless I was desperate. Is there any chance I could borrow £100 please? I literally have no food in the house, I haven’t eaten in days please I promise I will pay it back?”. Again I thought what happens if he hadn’t eaten? How can I live with myself knowing that he was starving and I could help and I didn’t. So once again I sent it.

I wanted to speak to Mason about it, I hated hiding this from him but I knew he would never understand. He hated James with a passion. I met Mason whilst I was still with James. I made it clear to Mason I wasn’t a cheat and he never pressured me and ensure our conversations were PG. That was until I confided in Mason that I was tired of James’s bullshit and I didn’t want to be with him anymore. That’s when Mason stepped in and supported me to leave James. The problem is that James agreed to support me with the rent (as we still had 7 months left on the tenancy) and all the credit cards and loans I took out for him. Of course he didn’t though and I was struggling to pay it all myself. I didn’t want to tell Mason but he forced it out of me when he realised how stressed I was. A couple of days later I had a call from my landlord to say the flat I was living in was sold, I knew then it was Mason. When I confronted him about it, he explained he put the property in my name so its mine, I can do whatever I want with it. I was fuming but I know it did it out of kindness. Then a couple of weeks later I received a large deposit into my account, Mason gave me the money to clear the loans and credit cards. You have never been shown kindness like that in your life, you didn’t even want to use the money you just left in your account for weeks not knowing what to do. Mason kept insisting you used it and said he would be offended if you didn’t. He promised he would never tell a soul he did that and would never used it against you, you trusted him. You tried to pay Mason back each month, but he refused to take it, he explained you could repay him by going out on a date with him.. that’s how you both started dating. So that’s why you couldn’t tell Mason the truth, after he did all that and to find out you were still helping  James out, he would flip out.

The Friday came when James was suppose to pay you, shocker he doesn’t and when you message him asking if he going to send it back he reads the messages and ignores it. Great I thought I should of known better.

The following Sunday we went to Mason’s family for Sunday dinner, it was a long drive so we went down their Saturday night and ended up staying down. I love his family and his parents treat me like their own. I couldn’t ask for better inlaws. The food was amazing! I am so full. It has been such a good day with laughter and smiles. I am all curled up on their sofa trying to stretch my belly out as its now cramping from the amount of food I just digested. That’s when I hear the dreaded sound of my FB messenger notification again. I was just going to ignore it as I knew exactly who it was and I didn’t want him ruining my mood right now. I quickly looked at it though, I just wanted him to go away. Again he was asking for money, SHOCK! I thought. I messaged straight back putting my foot down, I don’t care about the reasoning I knows its all bullshit anyway, I replied “No James, no fucking more! You lied and never paid me back its all bullshit now leave me alone before I block you!”. That’s when another 5 notifications came through. Mason looked over at me “Jheez somebody is popular” He laughed. I laughed back trying to put Mason at ease “it must be Lauren you know what she is like can never just text a paragraph she gotta send me a couple of words per text”. Mason nodded and agreed he knew what she was like. I picked it up and saw the disgusting texts that were sent back, calling me a slag, how I am only with Mason for his money, saying how I could just get Mason to sort it out but I cannot ‘be bothered’, how I never did anything for him, how I was too big and ugly to be a WAG. Mason looked up at me in concern as he saw my mood change, he didn’t press as he knew I wouldn’t say anything in front of his parents but made a mental note to speak to me about it later. My phone buzzed another 5 times, this time Mason shot me a look as to say what the hell is going on, who the hell is that? I made a quick a joke to say “Must just be my other boyfriend” which Mason’s parents laughed at but Mason didn’t seem too impressed. He knew you were hiding something from him. It continued with the horrible words, in the end you just wanted it to stop, you wanted him to just leave you alone. You don’t know why you did it you just needed it to stop so you could enjoy the rest of your day. You quickly sent him another £100 and put your phone on silent.

The ride home was quiet, I could tell Mason wanted to ask you about the text messages but didn’t want to cause an argument tonight after such a nice day.

Mason was laying on your bed playing Fifa but couldn’t concentrate, you were lying next to him asleep you were such a heavy sleeper you would not be waking up anytime soon. Mason looks over at your phone next to you on the bedside table, he doesn’t want to do it but he needs to know what made you so upset and made your mood change like that. If someone hurt you they going to know about it he was thinking. Before he knew it he had your phone in his hands and unlocked it. He knew it was a FB messenger notification so quickly opened the app. That’s when he saw it, it was from James. Surely not, y/n couldn’t be cheating on me with her ex could she? His heart starting to break and his hands started to shake. When he opened the messages he saw the disgusting things that were being thrown at you. How dare he speak to you like that. Mason was fuming. The worst part Mason was angry that you gave in and sent him money. So he gets you into debt which I pay off and support you just for you to support him again fuck that Mason thought. He wasn’t sure how to approach this conversation now without telling you he went through your phone. He quickly put it back on the side and just laid staring at the ceiling. How dare he take advantage of your kindness. That’s the thing mason loves about you, you have such a big heart but struggle to see when people are using you. Mason just wants to protect you but he now not sure how. 

The next day Mason has a day off and we have had a both needed relaxing day. I am lying on masons lap across our sofa whilst he is sat up playing fifa. That’s when I hear the dreaded FB notifications again. I quickly sat up and moved up the sofa so Mason couldn’t see over my shoulder. Shocker it was James again. This time asking for £2k, when I said I don’t have that kind of money he told me to get a loan. When I refused again he demanded I get the money of Mason. When I refused again, it started to get nasty.

Mason looked up from his controller at me, “I know”. I looked at Mason in confusion there is no way he can know. “You know what?” I ask. Mason replies “I went through your phone last night, I had to see what happened yesterday at my parents” trying to justify himself. 

“Are you fucking serious Mase, you went through my phone as l slept? Is that the kind of relationship we have now?” I can feel my anger boiling and now my rage being turned from James to Mason. 

“I am sorry but how are you letting him speak to you like that? He fucking broke you y/n and I was there to pick up the pieces. I am the one who cleared the debts and for what? Just for you to get yourself back into my debt helping him”

“I am not getting myself into more debt, I am only sending him the money I have!” Getting kind of pissed off with his tone. 

“Yeah only because you are living off me and relied on me to pay your debts!” I am outraged how fucking dare he!

“You promised me Mason you would never use that against me are you taking the piss right now?!?!”

Mason then stops his anger in his face is now starting to soften. “Time out” he goes. Using his hands to make a T. “This is exactly what he wants, why are we arguing when it’s him who is taking advantage of you? He is the one I am pissed off with not you, I know you can never turn away someone in need”. 

“I just don’t know how to sort it Mase?”, I can feel the tears starting to prick in my eyes due to the stress of it all. “If I stop sending him money he gets so angry and what happens if I do not send it and then something happens that’s on me! How could I live with myself?”. Mason gets up so he is now standing over me, “none of this is your fault, fucking none of it, he is using your kindness for weakness which is completely out of order”. I know he is right, he gets so protective, god mason is so good to me. What did I do to deserve him? 

My phone binged again and then Mason turns to me “Give me your phone” Mason gestures his hand out. I am worried about what he is going to do next. 

I put my phone into his hand and next thing I know he is typing away. A couple more bings went through showing me that James was replying to whatever Mason said. Mason is now pacing around the living room and I am surprised my phone screen hasn’t cracked by how hard he is slapping his thumps against it. They continue back and fourth like this for around 20 mins. 

Mason then passes me my phone back, I went straight onto the messages to see what was said. “I have deleted the chat”, I am a bit disappointed I wanted to see what Mason said coming to my defence. “What did you say?” I ask. Mason smiles at me showing me that he won the fight “that doesn’t matter princess all you need to know is that he should leave you alone now.” I feel a massive weight off my shoulders now I don’t know what didn’t tell Mason before. “Just promise me something if he tries to message you again please let me know. The things I said to him, if he still had the guts to try fair play to him”, which at this Mason gives his cocky smile. “Of course Mase I promise”.

Mason flops back onto the sofa and lifts his arm up to gesture for me to lie on his lap which I did. Mason sat there running his fingers through my hair. “I will never let anyone hurt you y/n. I am sorry for what I said, I didn’t mean to throw the money in your face. I would do it all over again if I need to if it ensured your safety and protection”. I give a little smile at that and crock my head up so I am now looking up at him. 

“I love you so much Mason”, he loves me dead in the eyes and gives a soft kiss to my lips. “Believe me it will never be as much as I love you y/n”. 

[jamiedryssnail]

Safe now

Love of my Life Au

Warnings : fighting, swearing, underage drinking, and attempted SA

He was 6,1 and on the hockey team guys knew to keep clear of him and his girl. Obviously he is the biggest sweetheart but if you didn’t know this well then good luck because he can be intimidating when he wants to.

He always has a need to hold her, go to the bathroom with her, get her drinks so they don’t get spiked. He is protective but he knows he needs to be because you don’t know what types you get at big parties like this.

He also knows that all the hockey boys will look out for each others girls. Madi especially I mean she is practically hockey royalty and they are all like her older brothers. There is also the factor that her brothers would kill you if anything happened to her. Now if you think Rutger looks intimidating try her three NHL player brothers Quinn, Jack, and Luke.

Mads was not drinking at all just Coke Zero for her. She is a very serious athlete and her mum Ellen always said athletes don’t drink in the season. This came as more of a suggestion to her brothers ( jack ) but she took it to heart. Always wanting to perform her best and not take any chances of being sick, dehydrated, or tired.

Hence why Rut thought it was fine for her to go to the bathroom by herself. She hadn’t been drinking and the bathroom was in view from we’re they were standing, talking to Mark and Ethan. “Just meet me right back here as soon as you are done” he noted as he was very cautious of his girl. “It’s one of the biggest parties of the year who knows who is here mads, ok” he says making his point clear.

If it was any other party he would have been fine and more at ease. But Michigan had just won the rose bowl so it was hectic and everyone was there drunk off their asses. He had heard of many cases at parties like this of girls getting spiked or assaulted by guys. “Ok baby I’ll be quick, then maybe we could head home yeah” she said in a suggestive tone. Mads wondered off into the crowd seeing the huge line for the bathroom. There had to be at least twelve people ahead of her.

As she waited in the line she saw Dylan duke her long time best friend. “Dyl, we’re have you been all night” she asked knowing just why he had been preoccupied. “Oh shut up she is pretty ok and she thinks I’m hot” “Sure, Dylan” she joked.

As they chit chatted she gave rut a little wave before he looked away smiling re entering the conversation he was having.

“Oh my god what are these people doing in the bathroom” She exclaimed obviously busting to pee. “Mads don’t wait in this queue just go upstairs, it’s what I’ve been using”. Dylan says directing her

Unsure Madi made her way upstairs passing a few couples that couldn’t seem to wait til they got home to get with each other. As she made her way to the top she looked in a few rooms for a free bathroom. Accidentally walking in on a few couples getting at it she got a few ‘what the hell’s’ and ‘do you minds’. She finally found a free one and quickly used it.

Quickly using it and then touching up her makeup for the night ahead with rut she opened the door ready to go downstairs. As she started walking out she saw a guy she had never seen before looking directly at her. “Hey Mads right?” He asked “It’s Madison.” She said sternly trying to get out of there as soon as possible. She so did not feel like having a conversation with a gross stranger who obviously just wanted to get in her pants. Mads tried to exit but he grabbed her arm and whispered in her ear “ I don’t really care what your name is or how you say it you have a decent rack so you better shut the fuck up” Madi then trying to scream and kick her way out causing some kind of attention.

The guy put her hand over her mouth and dragged her back into the bathroom locking the door. She tried to fight back but he wasn’t budging instead hitting her in the face making her drowsy. She kept trying to push him away but he was a big dude and was to strong.

As she felt the blood start drip down from the top of her face she couldn’t help but cry.

Rutgers Pov,

“Hey has anyone seen Mads”

He had been asking everyone at the party for the last ten minutes.

“Rut hey dude mads just went to the toilet upstairs”

“Alone are you fucking with me” he said fuming at Dylan for even thinking that was ok. Rutger knows what guys are like and he was ready to beat the shit out of anyone.

Rutger rushed upstairs and searched everywhere to find one bathroom door locked. He banged on it then to hear Madi’s soft pleas to stop and get off her.

“Open up you asshole” Rutger screamed he swore the whole party had heard him but he didn’t care, he just wanted to hold mads. Luckily the guy had only just locked the door so nothing major had happened.

Finally the guy opened up the door expecting some guy who drank to much beer and needed the restroom. Before he knew it there was a guy jumping on him punching him repeatedly until he had blood all over his face. “Fucking touch her again and I’ll fucking kill you” he yelled like someone had died. Luca and Dylan seeing this run to pull Rut off the guy, then something catches ruts eyes. Madi standing frail and scared a few feet away. He goes to hold her and then sees blood. She has a cut on her upper eyebrow.

“You son of a bitch you laid hands on my girl” Rutger yells knowing he can’t do anything because he has to hold mads. “Oh fuck off as if you’d be dating her if she wasn’t a Hughes and didn’t have a rack”. Then the guy spoke up again “she’s a slut you know what have ur hooker looking girlfriend”. At this point Rutger was beyond pissed he couldn’t believe his ears.

“Fucking say it again I dare you” “As if you’d be dating her if she wasn’t a Hughes and didn’t have a rack she’s a good hit admit it” Rutger then decided to leave it until he heard a “Yea go have my sloppy seconds I got to her first tonight” and with that the guy was almost passed out on the floor from another hit. Luca lunges to towards him telling him to leave before they call the cops.

“Oh my girl you poor thing come here” rut says to mads. “I’m sorry for not being there I’m horrible” he whispers. “No Rut you were there don’t blame yourself for others actions, please baby”. Madi said

Rutger and Mads slowly walk down stairs trying to exit the house and get back to someone’s dorm. He did not let go of her at all after that. Finally finding the front yard Rutger picks her up and puts her in his car. “Oh sweet girl I’m never going to let anyone hurt you again”.

When they get to Madi’s dorm Rutger grabs the first aid kit Madi uses to clean him up after he gets into fights at games. He carefully dabs a cotton bud and some disinfectant oil for her cut. He then fixes himself up knowing his girl is to tired to do it for him like usual.

Rutger helps madi out of her little dress and into one of her (his) shirts and his boxers. He can’t help at smile at his beautiful girl almost drowning in his clothes.

After they both get into comfy clothes they find themselves cuddled up in bundles of blankets and pillows holding each other. Rutger is just happy she is safe now, and when I tell you he will never let her go again i mean never. He is walking her to and from every class, holding her tightly at parties, and taking her to her training. Anyway let’s just say Rut is content but also not looking forward to her brothers finding out especially jack.

[zorosleftmantit101]

Zoro and sanji as a conversation I had with my friend.

Characters: Zoro and Sanji

C/W: swearing, use of the word fag (where both gay 🥰)

A/N: He loves me I promise ❤️

Sanji: Zoro

Sanji: I think my mama is gay for your mama 🤯

Sanji: she was saying how like she genuinely thinks your mum is a stunning lady

Zoro: thats so sweet

Zoro: i thought your mum was going to spear tackle me and break my fingers 🥰

Sanji: what

Zoro: IDK I WAS SCARED

Sanji: bro she can do nothing

Sanji: she pays hundred of dollars to see 💀

Zoro: are you shaming your mum for being blind

Zoro: thats metal as hell

Sanji: I got my blindness from her dipshit🙄

Zoro: your blind?!

Zoro: sorry i dont think we can be friends anymore

Zoro: i just hate blind ppl

Zoro: but whats this

Zoro: *insert 1 attachment photo*

Zoro: blindness healing wizard is here!

Sanji: bro

Sanji: kys

Zoro: love you too

Sanji: die

Zoro: *live

Zoro: you miss-spelled it lol

Sanji: lick my armpits faggo

Zoro: maybe

Zoro: maybe i...

Zoro: wanna

Zoro: 🥰

Sanji: Ok bae, just put the phone down

Zoro: yes dad 😖

Sanji: 😦

Sanji: your older than me

Zoro: oh yeah

Zoro: yes son

Sanji: ok

Sanji: thats worse

Zoro: yes mum

Zoro: what do you want from me

Zoro: yes uncle

Zoro: yes grandma

Sanji: NONE

Sanji: LEAVE ME ALONE

Zoro: IM IN YOU WALLS

Zoro: 🥰

Sanji: IM IN THE BUS DIPNIPS

Zoro: IM IN THE BUS WALLS

Sanji: NOT POSSIBLE 🙄

Zoro: Oh yeah than how do i know your on the bus then

Sanji: CAUSE I TOLD YOU

Zoro: Nuh uh

Sanji: Fym nuh uh

Zoro: I mean NUH UH

Zoro: Dont make me get my wizards on you

Zoro: Bartholemu the mysterious will fuck you up

Sanji: Your wizard is a bitch

Sanji: and a losser

Zoro: Alright thats its im going to get benadict cumberbatch the awesome to explode your brain

Sanji: Can you stop being autistic

Zoro: NO 😡

Sanji: ok

Zoro: ...

Zoro: your making daddy angey

*you have been blocked by this user*

[sofasoap]

Up for a challenge

Pairing: Simon "Ghost " Riley x f!Reader ( OC aka Mini MacTavish )

Summary : When Simon takes up the challenge.

Warning: Mature theme ( talk of sex ) , swearing. English isn't my first language so expect a lot of mistakes with tenses. Not beta proof read basically self indulgent fic.

A/N : I want to thank @saltofmercury for agreeing to my silly fic request and also kindly letting me using her ideas/fic “The Favorite MacTavish” , and expand the story from there. where the reader/OC is Soap's little sister. PLEASE GO READ HER STORY first to make sense of this story. Also go read her König stories too, it’s brilliant.

 “masterlist” for more stories to this Mini MacTavish expanded verse.

Pushing open the back door, letting out an exasperated sigh as you plonk yourself down on the wooden deck and stretched your legs out.

Johnny has been nagging your ears off after Ghost yank you away from König mid conversation,

"I told you to stay away from him! and what did you do? walk straight up to him and talk shit!"

"Ah shut it Johnny, I was only being nice , the guy looks like he needs a hug!"

As much as you love your big brother, his constant nagging can really rival with your mum's. A figure silently sat down beside you. " Did Johnny tell you to kidnap me again?" "Just checking what you are doing out here all by yourself." You snorted, " So the infamous Ghost is worrying about the Mini MacTavish?"

Ghost furrow his brow, instead of replying you, he took a swig of beer and stared at you.

Getting uncomfortable with his staring and the silence started to get bit awkward, you start to ramble, " I know Johnny has my interests best at heart, but he really need to back off a bit, I am not a kid anymore. I don't know how many boys he had scared away or blocked me from seeing them because he thinks all of them just want to get into my pants! Thanks to him, no one dares to come after me .” you sigh. You definitely shouldn't have that two shots of scotch while Johnny was giving you a lecture on how the KorTac boys are all dangerous and will only break your heart. You are letting too much information that Ghost probably wouldn't want to hear.

Ghost chuckled. " Sounds like a challenge." " You bet it is."

" But I am willing to take up the challenge. " ... Excuse me?

Ghost lean closer to you, whispering into your ear,sending shivers down your spine. " I am just as cuddly as König if you want to give it a try. And I will keep you nice and warm in the bed as well."

What the hell did he just say to you?? You are sure your face has gone bright red , definitely not from all the alcohol you have downed tonight. Before you can muster a reply, Ghost stood up, gave you a pat on the head and walked back into the house to rejoin the boys.

Oh NO. Johnny is not gonna be happy.

[aew-kun-age-regression]

hi!!! if you've watched all of the Punisher, do you think you could do headcanons for cg!Frank and regressor!Amy? if not it's fine!!

Hiii!!! It took me a minute to get round to this as I had to watch it but I've finished it now!!! So I absolutely can, I love them!!! (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠) // (Also fun fact the Kirby conversation is based on a real conversation me and my mum had lol 😂)

Caregiver!Frank Castle With Regressor!Amy Bendix Headcannons

He'd call Amy loads of nicknames. "Kid" is the one he uses most often. Because he also calls her that just in general tho he picked up a habit of calling her "sunshine"

When regressed Amy loves rambling (literally will not stop talking his ear off) and telling Frank random fun facts.

"Hey, hey Frank!!! Did ya know that Kirby is actually a boy? :0"

"...the little pink ball creature.? Like hell that's a boy, that is a genderless being ... How do you even know that-"

":)"

He has on multiple occasions had to give her his jacket because "it's fine I won't be cold" No it was not fine, yes she was cold.

Take out is a go to comfort food for the both of them. It's been a rough day? It's alright, Frank's ordering a pizza.

I feel like Amy wouldn't call Frank dad or any variation of, not because either of them don't like it but because she's worried that it will upset him. She once was exhausted (think like, after the events of season 2) and because she was so tired she kinda mumbled "goodnight dad" She doesn't remember and Frank doesn't bring it up, he did stay up all night watching over her and thinking about it tho.

Amy made a swear jar. (Frank is the only one who ever uses it because Amy just keeps coming up with creative alternatives instead of swearing 😂)

Curtis or Karen are his go to babysitters!!! (I had to include them, I love them both sm)

^ Amy likes Karen but prefers Curtis.

He tries to keep her as far away from The Punisher stuff and god help anyone who drags her into something.

Amy finds a lot of comfort in hiding under her bed. (she prefers hiding under Frank's tho) The two of them have spent multiple nights in blanket forts on the floor.

Amy loves playing dress up. (Thinking of when she dressed up in Madani's clothes.)

[steelthroat]

I have helped my school with open days many times during these years and every time is one hell of an experience, I could literally start a column about it in the future... but the latest one hit me in the feels so hard-

Look- I'm a simple person, I love it when I explain something to the middle school kids coming at my school and they have this sparkle in their eyes and ask me questions and are genuinely curious about the things we do and study.

Seriously it makes me want to cry because on one hand it's my last year here and as I'm about to enter the next chapter of my life, these kids are just starting this one and this leaves me all teary-eyed and weird because omfg that's the "adulting" millennials were all nervous and weird about- but that's my turn now. Fuck

Also, I wasn't like that at their age, because middle school almost broke me completely in a way no higschool or university could ever do. I'm so happy they get to be so happy and hopeful for their future and I'm just ahdhfjgjgjgjh

Now listen- this is killing me- what the fuck! people born in 2010-11 are starting high-school next year????? HOW? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN????? GO BACK DON'T YOU DARE GROW UP???? You should be 4 not 14! When did these 10 years pass??????

Like there was this little guy with his mum and I was explaining all the labs and the things we do and I couldn't hold him in a single room for more than 10 minutes because he wanted to visit the entire school and LIVE IT.

and holy shit I was gonna cry, I swear he said "I'm so happy I come to this school in 2 years! I'm gonna get these shoes under a glass bell because I got to walk in the corridors of [insert school here] with these"

Oh my god- too wholesome, it was gonna kill me I swear, please never grow up, never become a cynical and edgy teenager because you're literally my new embodiment of my hope for humanity. Please I'm gonna become your personal shield nothing will ever harm you ever again.

Amd then there was this other older girl who just befriended me on the spot and lead the conversation and I was just nodding along like "I've never seen you in my life before and you're interacting with me like we've known each other since we were kids-" EXTROVERTS ARE A MENACE I'M TELLING YOU, how-

I'm not an introvert anymore but even *I* wouldn't be able to do that????? Some people are just born with the ability to befriend the world. Scary shit- really.

So this whole ramble is to say, fuck you! gen alpha is okay, if they're not it's the parents and their shitty parenting's fault (as always) and don't be fucking mean to kids. I'm serious! I will not be held accountable for my actions if I get to see y'all being mean to kids on the internet or irl. Millennials don't be fucking hypocrites you're the parents now.

[sarahfeliciam]

The Ultimatum Ch 58

Chapter 58

When Remus met Sirius in the kitchen, the smell of thick melting chocolate overtook his senses and soothed his body from the inside out. Sirius was stirring at the cauldron while it bubbled away and bouncing between two feet. Whether this was a nervous habit, or an involuntary dance, Remus was not sure. He cleared his throat quietly to announce his presence and Sirius jumped slightly before turning to him with a smile.

“Just about done, Moony.”

“No rush.” He yawned, stretching his limbs and pulling a chair out from the table. The old wood scraped against the already nicked floor; there were a great many rustic cuts and scrapes across the whole thing. 

Remus had always thought it looked poor, but one day Emeline said it looked loved and the cottage felt like home fairly quickly to her. 

Remus quite liked the floor now. 

Before he knew it, Sirius was resting a steaming mug in front of him and handing him a spoon. He set a tray of biscuits in front of them and took a seat next to Remus nervously.

They were silent for a moment while Remus stirred the mixture, licking off the spoon while it cooled. 

Finally, Sirius spoke.

“Remus, I am so sorry for allowing that on my watch. It was irresponsible and I would never want to hurt you or Emeline. It’s just felt so much like-“

“-Like when we were children?” Remus interjected, looking at his friend expectantly.

Sirius thought for a moment and then fell into a slow nod.

“Well… yes. Yes, it has.”

Remus smiled and stared off thoughtfully as he continued stirring his liquid chocolate.

“I see life differently through her eyes. Yet, somehow it still feels like myself just doing it all over again. It’s remarkable.”

“It is. It’s a gift to see things fresh. I knew how you felt then, though… how we all felt watching you suffer. I thought there was no harm in a drink or two, and then we just talked… and talked, and lost track.” He looked at Remus with no better words to add. 

Guilt flashed across his eyes.

“What were you two on about?” Remus asked curiously and Sirius seemed to calm. 

“A great deal of things. We didn’t want to speak of the transformation in public… so it was a bit more lighthearted.”

“Care to clarify?” Remus nudged, sipping from his mug now. 

Sirius relented straight away, wanting to be loyal to his friend after what he’d done. He tossed aside Emeline’s ‘swear you won’t tell anyone’ immediately.

“To be quite honest, most of the conversation was about you, mate.”

“Me?” Remus seemed taken aback, unsure what could be the topic of discussion to keep them gone for hours when it centered around him, not to mention how the hell it could be lighthearted.

“Yeah, you. You and a certain witch.”

Remus blushed immediately as the pieces fit together. 

“Oh, don’t go mush on me.” Sirius rolled his eyes. “It’s a thing, great! That’s exactly the subject material. Emeline really likes Tonks. She really likes you with Tonks.”

Remus quirked an eyebrow. “Continue.”

“She misses Florence.” Sirius picked at a splinter of wood in the table, peeling it back and revealing lighter wood. “She keeps thinking about what her mum would’ve said about all of this; Wonders what it would’ve been like to see you both.. happy. In a way, Tonks fills that space. She doesn’t have to wonder as much.” He shrugged awkwardly and Remus nodded.

“I see. She doesn’t talk to me about her mother much anymore. At first I thought she was being selfless, encouraging Tonks and I.”

“In a way. I mean, no one wants to watch their old man snogging.” He snickered. “But, this is healing for her, too. There are just ways a mum has that are different, ya know?” 

Remus was lost in another whimsical memory, smiling thoughtfully as he nodded. 

Oh, he knew. 

Hope was the model mother and never allowed Remus to wallow in self-pity, or feel cold (both physically or emotionally). Her warmth was a special warmth, just like his father’s. 

They were different and extraordinary in two completely separate ways. He ached that Emeline had been cursed to never experience both at the same time.

His heart sunk momentarily at that thought and Sirius inquired quickly.

“I just don’t want her to get her hopes up. Tonks may not be interested in this… lifestyle. She deserves security and peace, neither of which we have much of.”

“I don’t think anyone could pretend the way she’s been acting, mate. Lest you forget: she’s my cousin! I know her, and she isn’t superficial. Mark my words, she’ll be around so long as you let her.” 

“We’ll see.” Remus nodded with a faux smile.

•

“We should give that wound on your thigh a check, yeah?”

Emeline nodded and Tonks slid a footstool under her legs from where she sat on the rocker. 

She’d wanted to get up to stretch a bit once the fever broke, so they chose the rocking chair in the corner, but Emeline immediately regretted it. She was cold again now and everything was aching.

 The light in her eyes was dim and Tonks assured her it would not take long.

She pulled at the loose pajama pants she was wearing and surveyed the wound thoughtfully. 

“Your dad is quite good at stitching, you know. He says Madame Pomfrey taught him. Perhaps you’ll have a knack for it too, which is excellent for a healer! This looks good. Salve?”

Emeline nodded softly, offering her a smile. “It doesn’t sound like I’ll have the chance now.” She responded, wincing slightly at the salve grazing the sore wound.

“Don’t ever tell yourself you can’t do something, Emeline. You can do anything you set yourself to do. You’d make a wonderful healer and you owe it to yourself to try.”

“I’ve no schooling now, Tonks. I can’t just waltz into St. Mungos with no OWLs or NEWTs.”

Tonks screwed the lid back over the salve and rested her hands on Emeline’s knees as she looked up at her. 

Her hair was a light lavender now. 

It felt calm.

“Emma, stop making excuses. There are other schools, you know. Besides, Hogwarts isn’t even off the table. Your father is meeting with Umbridge and I’m sure he’ll have a fair argument.” She stood and reached out a hand to help Emeline. Bracing her back with her other free hand, they slowly made their way to the bed. “You know, everyone told me I’d never be an auror.”

Emeline snorted. “I can’t picture you not being an auror.”

“Oh, really?” She asked pointedly. “Think of it: too lighthearted, too clumsy, too late to everything, too happy, too fun-loving. No one thought I had the edge.” Her hair shifted  to a harsh and fiery red. “But I do have edge. Nevermind that no one else saw it.” 

“Huh. You just fit the role perfectly to me.”

Tonks grinned. “I made myself fit it. And you will too, somehow.”

“Thank you, Tonks.”

“Anytime, sweetheart.”

When the bathroom door opened, the steam of a long bath escaping and Remus walking out in fresh sleep clothes and wet hair, Tonks’ heart flipped in her chest. 

“Dad, is there any more of that liquid chocolate left?” Emeline asked obliviously. 

“Yes, pup, Tonks and I can grab you some.” He responded smoothly, motioning for Tonks to follow him into the kitchen. She obliged immediately and flashed Emeline a smile as her hair turned back to that beautiful, shining lavender. 

Sirius darted past them, claiming the shower as Emeline laughed loudly and started banter with him as their voices faded behind Remus and Tonks.

When they entered the kitchen together, Tonks grabbed his hand and spun him around, moving in to kiss him quickly. 

He stumbled back for a second before steadying himself against her and gripping her shoulders tightly.

Unsure of how much time they spent together in that embrace, when they pulled away they were both short of breath and smiling at one another nervously. 

“I didn’t get to tell you earlier,” he started, his eyes searching hers as she watched him intently. “You’re beautiful.”

Her hair stayed lavender, but her cheeks raged pink and she looked down momentarily before meeting his gaze again.

“What are we doing here, Remus?” She whispered. 

“I wanted to ask you the same thing.” He replied nervously, pulling a piece of her shining hair to twist between his fingers before tucking it behind her ear.

“Are we..” she trailed off, unable to bring herself to put them on the line. 

What if he wasn’t interested in anything serious? 

What if she misread this entire thing and it was completely shallow?

No, she assured herself. 

That wasn’t Remus.  

She watched him unwavering as he finished for her.

“A couple?” 

She nodded carefully and he saw her eyes swimming with uncertainty. 

“Well, yes.”

“Well, what do you think?”

“Well, how do you feel?” 

They chuckled with one another and Remus shook his head.

“On three.. we answer together, so it’s genuine.”

Tonks nodded with a smile and he counted in something just above a whisper.

On three, they said it unanimously, foreheads pressed together: “yes.” 

•

Author’s Note: this is concluding our cozy cottage for now. We have a funeral to attend for Arthur next chapter and lots of Emeline x George. Thank you all for reading! I hope the next few chapters are enjoyable despite their emotion. 🖤

[thessalian]

Thess vs Transphobes' Misconceptions

It occurs to me that I have a story that can be given to every asshole who says shit like, "Kids aren't trans - they're being brainwashed and groomed by the horrible pedophiles in the media calling for so-called 'rights'!" and "Schools have no business telling kids about that LGBT stuff; they're too young to understand that!"

Picture the scene: Montreal, QC, 1985 or so. Now, I specify the where and when because it does actually mean something: Quebec was super Catholic for a very long time, and while it was getting less so in the 80s, it was still pretty prevalent in the general mood of the boomers who were our parents, and whatever the fuck the generation was that were their parents. Not that there weren't gay people, bi people, trans people; gods, no. Just they were a lot more circumspect, and quite often in very deep denial. (Hell, my mother only came to terms with the fact that she's bi a few months ago, despite being head-over-heels in love and lust with one of her best friends when I was a kid. But she was raised Catholic, so I guess her denial shouldn't be a surprise, especially after Mum made her feelings known and the best friend ran for the hills. I swear I want to punch that woman in the mouth for being such a bitch about it, even if she probably is approaching seventy by now. ANYWAY.)

So I'm in elementary school, and one of my best friends is this kid named Alex. I remember him surprisingly well - very red hair, very brown eyes, lots of freckles. And we were both fans of the Jem and the Holograms cartoon. And Alex insisted that Kimber Benton had been born a boy (or, y'know, a trans woman - we were kids and didn't really have the right terminology available to us at that point, not to mention that the terminology has changed a lot over the last few decades). He had a whole lot of weight behind his headcanon too, and I wasn't about to contradict him - hell, even then, I knew not to harsh someone's squee when it didn't really matter to me either way.

But it mattered to him. It mattered desperately to him. And one day, I found out why it mattered so much to him. He didn't say it outright; it was a lot of very nervously dropped little comments over the course of a conversation about a recent episode. But it was pretty clear to me, even at, like, eight or so - he needed Kimber to be a trans woman because if she was, with her bright red hair kind of like his ... then he could be too. I don't think he ever came out and said that he felt like he was a girl, but I'm pretty sure he came close - that or I was just way more perceptive than the average eight-year-old.

Nothing really changed, outwardly. We were in elementary school, in a pretty Catholic province, in the 80s - hell, at the start of what we now call the AIDS epidemic. Preferred pronouns, style of dress, even borrowing my lip gloss ... none of that was on the table for my friend. But my friend knew, absolutely. I do remember inviting my friend over for a sleepover - I think I mentioned that maybe we could play with my makeup kit. My friend said "No, Mom won't let me have a sleepover with girls" and just ... so many reasons I couldn't understand why not, but I could understand being entirely afraid of what your mother would say if you broke the rules.

My friend went to another school the next year. We never saw each other again. I don't know what happened, and I only hope my friend stayed safe until she could get away and be who she wanted to be. And I will call her she now. Whether she's out there living her best life or ... gods, please not the victim of some conversion therapy nightmare or worse ... she deserves that at least.

And she was eight years old when she knew. So don't you go telling me that kids can't know that they're trans when they're that young. My friend was eight, and she was a girl, and she knew no one would let her be a girl because of the contents of her pants and what a doctor called out when she was born. I hope she's allowed to be that girl now. Well, I guess it'd be woman now, but you know what I mean.

(As a side note - if I had a 5p piece for every non-cishet AMAB redhead named Alex I'd had in my life, I'd have ... 10p, but it's weird that it happened more than once.)

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

It had been a mistake. Marlene couldn't believe she was so stupid to follow the Ice Princess. Why did she do that? What for? She didn't care about her phone call with her mother, the Ice Queen. Did she? No! Not at all.

But yet Marlene followed Dorcas Meadowes all the way to the Sports Supply Shack listening carefully. And hid behind some yoga balls to listen more. Classic Ice Monarchy. The mother was an idiot with the daughter. Even if Dorcas was hallow, pretentious and bitchy... (And fuck so beautiful she thought herself better than others), Marlene felt sorry for her. Dorcas was pressured to be more icy like her family. Like her mother more like. Because her step dad and her step brother were hell itself. Ironic, ha?

Marlene had been so invested listening that she didn't realize she had been caught.

"Call you later, mum" Dorcas said, hang up and kicked the ball away to reveal Marlene hiding behind it "What the hell, McKinnon?"

Marlene panicked. She truly was an idiot.

"Ice Princess..." Marlene crossed her arms as she stood up "I was... I was... You know, this is a nice place to take a nap..." she faked a yawn "I just woke up... Weird you are here. And I don't have to give you explanations of what I do or don't do"

Dorcas's expression showed she didn't believe a word she said.

"You followed me here so you can snoop into my conversation!"

That was exactly what Marlene had been doing. She gasped "As if, Princess! As if! Why would I care about your conversation?"

Exactly, why? Dorcas wasn't her friend or anything to care.

"I don't know..." Dorcas shrugged "But you seem to be obsessed with me"

Marlene laughed loud and openly. "Me? Obsessed..." she laughed and laughed. Though the only funny thing was that Marlene was pathetic.

Marlene had a thing for pretty girls. It was the way they were delicate and feminine in a way she would never be. Maybe it was jealousy. Maybe it was envy. Though she didn't follow Alecto or Alice. Only Dorcas.

"I am gonna go, IP"

"IP?"

"Ice Princess"

Dorcas let out a chuckle with her cheeks slightly pink.

"Fine, McKinnon"

Marlene blushed as she walked to the door and even tripped with the stupid yoga ball, making Dorcas giggle. Shit. She had to get out of there before she embarrassed herself more. But when she tried the lock, the door didn't open. Marlene tried it again to make sure. She used more strength. Nothing. She pulled and pushed the door. Nothing.

"I thought you were leaving, McKinnon"

This couldn't be happening.

"We are locked inside!" Marlene told Dorcas with panic.

Dorcas was still smiling amused.

"Yeah, right"

"I swear! We are locked!"

Dorcas walked to the door. "I thought you had strong arms for all the Rugby, McKinnon"

"I have very strong arms!" Marlene protested as Dorcas tried with the lock.

Dorcas's expression changed when she realized they were actually locked inside. She looked panicked.

"We are locked inside"

"That's what I said!"

Dorcas checked her phone "And it's dead..." she sighed "Do you have your phone?"

Marlene had started her persuit in the locker room after P. E. Mary was still showering and Lily had gone early to some prefect meeting. That's when Marlene saw Dorcas and decided to follow her. But no, her stuff was still inside one of the lockers.

Marlene shook her head.

"Fucking hell, McKinnon!"

"Mary will find us. She will figure out where I am"

"Did you tell her you'd be here?"

Marlene didn't respond but that gave Dorcas an answer. She took a deep breath.

"So nobody knows we are here. And we don't have phones to call someone to rescue us!"

If she put it like that it really sounded terrible. If Madam Hooch had more classes and needed equipment maybe she would come. Maybe one of the rubgy teams would need something from here. But Gryffindor didn't have practice until the end of the week.

"Do you know if Slytherin trains today?"

Dorcas shrugged "I don't know"

Ice Princess was not a sporty person. She just lived for her ballet.

"Well, ask your brother then!"

"I would! But my phone is dead!"

They stared at each other with mirrored panicked expressions. Then they began banging the door loudly and asking for help. They begged and begged and cried.

"What if we die in here?" Marlene asked once they got tired of screaming for help and no one came. They sat on the floor defeated and very quiet. But Marlene wasn't a quiet person. She couldn't stop talking sometimes.

"We are not going to die in here, McKinnon" Dorcas snapped from her side.

"We could if someone doesn't come here in days" Marlene explained "We could die from dehydration or hunger! We've been here for hours!"

"It's been fifteen minutes"

"How do you know?"

Dorcas showed her her watch with irritation. It was expensive and pink. Marlene decided to shut up.

There had been many things Marlene wished she could ask Dorcas. Out of curiosity! Not because she cared. But they'd never been alone before. And Dorcas was quiet. But Marlene was a chatty person.

"If we were to die here" Marlene said more calmly. Dorcas gave her an irritated look "Hypothetically!" Marlene added in defense "Do you think you've done everything you've wished? Is there something you would want to do before dying?"

"How pessimistic, McKinnon" Dorcas rolled her eyes.

"I would like to be someone in Rugby." Marlene continued anyway "Like my dad, or the twat of my brother" she rolled her eyes thinking about Adam "But rugby isn't necessarily a women's sport. I mean there's the feminine league. But it's not as big as the men's one..."

Dorcas kept quiet staring at her watch and bracelets, playing with them. Marlene knew she was listening though because she continued.

"I would make my dad take me seriously and train me like he is doing with Adam. But he doesn't even look at me. I am just a crazy little girl to him..." she ended up tutting, then she looked at Dorcas "What about you?"

Dorcas was blushing. Marlene didn't know why. Maybe she had been imprudent to ask her about her life.

"Would you like to follow your mum's steps?" And yet Marlene kept asking because she didn't know how to shut up. She talked too much when she was nervous "I mean it sounded like she is putting too much pressure on you..."

Dorcas scoffed "I knew you were listening to my conversation"

Marlene's eyes widened "No! Not at all! I mean... Yes" she admitted "I am sorry. I didn't want to but you were right there" Actually Marlene had followed her. Of course she heard it all "While I was trying to take a nap, I mean. You kind of interrupted me, Ice Princess. I was trying to sleep and you came practically screaming..."

Dorcas nodded..

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have listened I'm an idiot"

"You are right" Dorcas finally said.

"About me being an idiot? Yeah, I know..."

That made Dorcas laugh which surprised Marlene. It was kind of nice to see the cold princess laugh.

"No, McKinnon" Dorcas shook her head "About my mum pressuring me too much"

"Oh!" Marlene said as she scooped a bit closer "Oh!"

"I wish I could do what I want when I want" Dorcas continued. Marlene listened "And I love ballet. But it is taking too much energy away from me. I also want to be a teenager and have fun"

Marlene knew the Ice Queen made her daughter train every weekend. The lady even owned a cabin at Hogsmeade to keep track of her. She was constantly guarded by the lap dog of her step brother. And Mulciber was an asshole. The Ice Princess was indeed a damsel in distress locked in the highest tower.

"Why don't you tell her that?" Marlene asked "Why don't you take the reins of your life?"

Dorcas smiled "Easy for you to say that. You do what you want"

"Not exactly"

"But you at least express your opinion" Dorcas sighed.

"Why don't you?"

"I am shy" Dorcas said hugging her knees "I have struggle communicating my feelings. And my mum... She is scary sometimes. I also don't want to disappoint her"

"The Ice Queen" Marlene murmured.

"What?"

"Nothing!" Marlene exclaimed embarrassed

"Look, Dorcas..." it was the first time she used her name. It surprised both of them "I know it might be hard for you. But you can't live the life everyone expects you to live. You should be able to have time for yourself or do something for yourself"

Dorcas pursed her lips but she didn't argue.

"I mean if you were to die today..."

"McKinnon"

"Listen to me... If you were to die today, would you be happy with the life you've had? I bet there are a lot of things you haven't done that you totally want to do"

Dorcas smiled unsure. Her cheeks went pink.

"Like what?"

Marlene's cheeks were the same. She could feel them burning.

"Like getting waisted" Marlene said which made Dorcas laugh "Like falling in love" now Marlene's face was on fire "Like traveling somewhere new... I don't know. So many things to do"

Dorcas nodded "We are not dying today though, McKinnon"

"Exactly, Ice Princess! Then you have an opportunity to live your own life. Most importantly enjoy your life"

Marlene ended up with a smile. Dorcas smiled back.

"There is something I would like to do first"

"Yes?"

Dorcas didn't answer. She just kept looking at Marlene in a strange way. A way that made Marlene's mouth feel dry. She even swallowed. God, she was truly beautiful. So beautiful it was intimidating. That was it.

They both stared into each other's eyes, into each other's lips for what felt like ages.

Marlene had the urge to... To do what exactly? Some sort of desire.

But everything was interrupted by someone finally opening the door.

"For God's sake!" Hooch exclaimed, looking surprised "What in the name of God is happening here?"

Marlene felt her whole face burning. Like she had been caught doing something indecent.

Both girls got up quickly.

"Oh thank God!"

"The door was locked!"

"We've been trapped for ages!"

"Only minutes"

"That felt like ages!"

"The door's lock is broken" Hooch said looking between the two of them "There's a sign outside"

Both Marlene and Dorcas looked between each other feeling stupid. None of them had read the sign that warned people not to close the door.

"Everything is your fault McKinnon" Dorcas snapped before walking away.

Marlene gasped. "That's not... You were the one to close the door, not me!"

But Dorcas was long gone.

"Stupid Ice Princess"

Hooch was looking at her with amusement.

"Get out, McKinnon. Come on"

"Yes, professor" Marlene obeyed quickly. She would have to forget about this incident forever.

[thatonegeekygirl]

I Shook Hands with the Midnight Monsters (A Short Story by thatonegeekygirl)

It’s dark. My tired eyes strain to make use of the faint moonlight peeking through my shuttered blinds. I can decipher hints of shape. The ceiling. The top of my desk chair. The wall. Remnants of dream cling to my thoughts like cobwebs, slowing them to a dismal crawl. The house is silent, but not peaceful. There is a tangible feeling of anticipation in the air. Reality feels…off. Altered. I move to shift onto my side, and find that I cannot. I am paralyzed. A presence creeps from the darkness. Two bloodshot eyes, pupils slits of obsidian that stare, unrelenting, into my own. The thing’s movements are disjointed on its elongated limbs, fingers with too many joints grasp at my bedposts, knees tethering together too-long legs stretch and crouch. Color runs from it as do deer from a starving wolf, and the blackness of void coats it in their place. Light slithers in through flaking holes in its body. It chitters silently. It stalks forward, head tilting at me, skinless jaw displaying twin rows of skewed, razor sharp canines. Predator mouth. My blanket presses against my legs as it pads forward and clambers onto my chest. Its mouth yawns open and I see a long, rotting, bloodred tongue. “Hi, Jerry,” It says.

My mum always told me to avoid lucid dreaming. Now, J, she would say as she waggled a spindly finger, if you reach into the world of dream too many times, you may find that one day, something reaches back. Little me would nod sagely, promise her I’d stop, and continue doing it regardless. I just didn’t believe her. I mean honestly, the concept of summoning night terrors through my lucid dreaming was laughable. Conjuring up dream-cupcakes hardly seemed like a gateway drug to demonic harassment. At least, that’s what I told myself.

The first time Hastur came to visit me I was scared out of my mind. To be fair, seeing a lurching eldritch-horror scuttle into your bedroom at 2 o’clock in the morning, whereupon you find yourself unable to move a muscle in defense, is enough to scare anyone. I must’ve been exuding a terrified aura because he hurried to settle beside me and say nervously, “Calm down!” I didn’t. I wanted to scream but of course, I couldn’t. The only movement allowed by my well-meaning brain was the drip of sweat sliding down my neck. “I’m not going to hurt you! I swear!” He said, forlorn. Mum, you were right, I thought to myself, too bad I won’t live to tell you. I steeled myself and waited for oblivion. “Guess I won’t be talking to you either…” There was a pause. Then the sensation of shifting form, the rustle of sheets, and he was gone.

I awoke to a nagging sting of guilt. It poked at me while I drew, lonely eyes sneaking into backgrounds and characters. Shadowy corners took lonesome shape. I wasn’t quite sure what had occurred the night previous, but I found myself pitying this thing I knew nothing about. Perhaps that is what led me to write the note.

Hi, it read, my name’s Jerry. What’s yours? The words were scrawled on plain printer paper with black Sharpie, simple, nothing fancy. I secured it with Scotch tape on the wall above my pillow, and as I crawled into bed I wondered faintly what the hell I was doing. I slept soundly and didn’t wake once, and I assumed the creature had left for good. But then I noticed the paper had been flipped. Hastur, read the chicken-scratch words now printed there, nice to meet you.

When Hastur came the next night my heart didn’t falter. We had a rather one sided conversation, mine consisting only of a new note that said, You’re welcome to hang out with me. I can’t talk, obviously. But I’m happy to listen. He spoke of his life and how he wished often that he weren’t a nightwalker. Of his siblings and their love for solitude and gloom, how they thought him odd for disliking it, for seeking out the company of restless humans. Before he disappeared again into shadow he asked, eyes searching, if he could return.

My eyelids aren’t paralyzed, I thought to myself that day, and my memory’s good. Morse code. Said the note to him. We’re going to have to learn morse code.

To my surprise and delight, I soon discovered Hastur’s wry sense of humor. Quite unlike the group of morose mid-20 year olds that were both my friend group and Tim Hortons colleagues. Who knew night terrors could make puns.

Y name Hastur? I asked him one late Sunday, in my stilted eyelid-language. He released a warm jet of air and a snuffed hiccuping sound. Laughter. “My parental kin are old school.” Could b wrse. I replied. Satan. Hastur collapsed in a fit of huffing cackles.

“G’night, Jerry,” Hastur said. “Get some rest before your shift tomorrow.” Wait, I blinked, got u somthn. He raised a nonexistent eyebrow. “Oh?” I glanced pointedly to my left. Hastur followed my gaze to the little box wrapped in newspaper, and with delicate touch he opened it. “Jer…” he breathed softly. Hope u can bring it with u whrevr u go in daytime, I continued, I know phones dont work. U said u get lonely. Tht maybe music could keep u company. Hastur held up the old walkman and headphones with reverence. “…thank you, my friend.” He gushed over the beauty of Meatloaf days after.

We fell into a routine. Every other night, to ensure I wouldn't exhaust myself, he’d come and we'd talk about anything and everything. On Saturdays I’d bring him a new cassette tape with handpicked songs. I found myself growing closer to the eccentric monster than I ever had been with human friends. People did always tell me I was weird.

One particularly rough Monday, after fighting with one of his brother-bonded kin, I hugged Hastur–or rather, I offered to and he shuffled into my unmoving embrace. He told me it was the first time someone had willingly held him.

It is now the middle of April, the dreary twilight outside as cloaked in shadow as ever, and Hastur tips his head politely as he greets me. Hlo Has, my eyes say, hows spring treatin u. “Fine,” he tucks himself against the wall and rests his chin in a hand. His posture, though always stooped, is unusually droopy. Smthn wrong? He meets my concerned gaze. “…I have to go for a while.” What do u mn? “I have to…leave, here,” he explains, staring at nothing. “Earth. This plane. One of our siblings got in a tussle, a fight, with a human teenager. The Assembly is summoning everyone back home until things cool down.” Finally he turns to me, eyes glistening. “I won’t be back for a long time.” I want desperately to hug him once more, but I settle instead for saying, I’ll miss u. How long is long? “A year or two at least,” Hastur answers, and I can see the words pain him. “…here.” He places the walkman beside me. Why r u givn me this? “Don’t you want it back?” Flickering confusion. “I’d hate to take it from you.” Ur not takin it, I blink, just borrown it. “But won’t you be…gone?” His voice cracks. “Most humans your age don’t stay in one place for long. If you find a partner, or a better job, you shouldn’t hesitate to forget about me, Jer. I’m just…a night terror.” A nght terror, sure, but not ‘just’ anythng, I respond, slowing my blinks to ensure they’re right. Ur my best frnd. Ill wait 4 u. His face floods with emotion. Keep th walkman, I press, ill have a new cassette waitin 4 u whn u get bck. He looks away for a moment, twin tears escaping. “Thank you, Jerry Springer,” Hastur murmurs. He grasps my shoulder and squeezes it once. I summon all the willpower contained in my stubby body and set my lips firmly in a smile. Your welcm, Hastur Nightwalker.

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Wrote this as a creative writing project for school last year, and upon recent reflection noticed it seemed both very Tumblr and spooky season-y. It's one of my favourite pieces of writing that I've completed to date. Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I did writing it :)

[rosieuv]

flashbacks/pathetic rant that you don't care about but I have this urge to post anyway

I remember back in year 10 someone in my year (I don't remember who but they were quite popular if that helps you imagine the kind of person) asked if I had a vlog. Pretty random question considering I don't typically talk to people like them and never mentioned it in conversation, but me being the naiive idiot I was, I told them that I had a Spacehey and gave them my username. Now this wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't so open back then online as I used it like a diary. Someone with common sense (ie modern day me) wouldn't make that public, let alone give it to someone I somewhat knew in real life.

Please, for the love of god, DON'T MAKE THAT CRAP PUBLIC! Now people I sorta knew (didn't know all of their names but they weren't complete strangers to me) were reading my thoughts and commenting on them in real life. What made it worse is that I wrote something offensive about someone that I would consider a friend, and I didn't realise at the time because 15 year old me was stupid as hell. I know it's been almost a year since then but I really fucked things up. I eventually made it friends only and there's no point in trying as I'm not accepting friend requests nor using that website anymore as it just reminds me of the shit I said. It's a shame though as that website was pretty cool: it was basically myspace but modern and had a nice little community (and it ran perfectly on my iphone 5c!).

God did I seriously traumatise myself with my own stupidity? ...Nah...probably just thinking too deep into it.

The blogging in me never left though, hence why this exists. Since late March of this year, I've kept a diary that I update almost every day (on the days like today where I missed the previous day, I force my brain to remember it). The diffrence is that I keep that stuff private, which is good as it means I can ramble on about god knows what, but now I'm constantly worried that it's going to be used againsed me as blackmail in the future as uhhhhh...it contains...stuff...anyway the interesting thing about that is that I would only comment about a particular thing in that day rather than talking about everything. I don't know how my memory was that good as I can't even remember what I did yesterday, let alone write an entire paragraph on how I stole a cookie from my school.

I don't know why but I have a habit of having these urges to post whatever's on my mind online to get rid of it. This story did teach me though, is that I should shut the hell up and not tell a single soul in real life that I have a tumblr blog. If I was in that situation today, I would ask them where they got that info from and then ignore them; ya know, what inteligent people do in that situation. I just really hope my parents don't find out about my online presence. I've kept it a secret for almost 4 years but I'm so scared now of people judging me that I never wanted to tell them. Mum's never even heard me swear before, how do I know she won't spent 40 minuites of my time talking to me about personal stuff? People's morals never seem to align with mine and I'm scared that I'll so something really bad and not realise what I've done until it's too late, just like what I did to the friend I mentioned earlier, who I really wanted to get to know more as they were really cool but I fucked things up and they deserve to never speak to me again. The annoying thing with people is that I can't read minds like others so I can't tell what exactly they think of me. It's easiest just not to talk to anyone and be by myself as at least I know myself 100%. The internet is no exeption to this too as all it takes is 1 blog post for me to potentially be:

a creep

a criminal

a bigot

someone who others think is not doing too well mentally

someone who others think is insane

and I wouldn't even know until after I pressed the post button. It's scary as I want to be somewhat well known on the internet but I know that I'll end up causing my own downfall or even worse: knowingly turn into either of those 5 and horrify my past self (aka my current self).

I don't know why I even typed this out, you're going to read this and either not care, or think there's something wrong with me (when there isn't). I just needed this out of my system but if you know me in real life and you've read all this: please, for the love of god, don't do anything about it.

[madame-fear]

God already was testing me when my parents decided to rent this apartment. I’m sure it’s from the 50s

And it also has a demon. My ex best friend was a medium and she told me the bedroom I was sleeping in as a child had a fucking demon in it. All because I started the conversation as: haha this bedroom has always given me bad vibes 💀

- 🔎

Bitch you are literally a survivor in this life.. 😭😭

in my most humble opinion, ALWAYS trust your intuiton if something gives you bad vibes for REAL 😭😭

we once rented like a small house for a few days (we had to stay in a city because of my mum’s work) and it had several bedrooms. I swear to fucking god you could hear babies crying and people walking down the halls and it was scary as hell 💀 BUT that didn’t stop 12 y/o me to go down to the kitchen and get food for me to take it to my bedroom HAHDHDKD

Did you guys move and rent this old af apartment? Or do you live in there since you were a child? 😭