#me and my gf are gonna go see it closer to halloween and were gonna dress up as harlivy :3

[hermanunworthy]

hermie was conjured into existence in the wrong generation he wouldve loved seeing joker 2: folie à deux in theaters

[cherrypieships]

the amusement park: chapter two

A/N: whew omg it’s been a while since I posted! Anyway I’m back and better than ever with part two, the finale of the amusement park!! This chapter includes a trigger warning for fake blood and cult mentions. It's a haunted house, so it isn't a real cult, but I'd rather be safe than sorry <3

Ship: davey jacobs x pepper simmons (s/i), featuring my best friend V and my gf Khourey and their respective f/os, race higgins and jack kelly!

Summary: When the sun sets on Canobie Lake park, the amusement park turns into a Halloween extravaganza, where Pepper and Davey find themselves paired up once more.

Once the sun had dipped onto the horizon, the last dregs of color fading from the sky as the stars came out, the group found themselves heading towards the sides of the park, where the haunted houses were set up. Mickey looped their arm through Pepper’s, pulling her close and pointing out the performers walking past; a clown with a chainsaw, a long-haired girl in a tattered hospital gown, a man wearing a pig’s head as a mask.

“So they basically walk around the park and try to scare people.” She explained, and nudged V so they could listen in as well. “But little kids sometimes wear these little glow-y ball necklaces, see? And the performers can’t scare them.” She pointed out a pair of kids walking past, both of their t-shirts illuminated by spiked plastic spheres attached to long black cords. Sure enough, the actors walked right past them.

Vi pushed their bottom lip out, turning towards Mickey. “That’s so fucking cute.” They cried.

Pepper smiled. It was pretty cute, and a good idea on the park’s part. “Do they wear them into the houses?” She asked curiously.

“I fuckin’ hope not.” Jack scoffed. “I wanna get scared, I’m not here to miss a good haunted house cause of some kid.” He smiled when Mickey swatted him. “What? It’s true!”

Mickey’s eyes rolled. “Yeah, but don’t be a dick about it.” They chastised, going to swat him again, and as their hand made contact, Jack snatched it and brought her fingers to his lips for a kiss.

Averting her gaze, Pepper felt something cold swirl in the pit of her stomach at the casual intimacy. She focused on the gum wrapper on the ground beside her shoe instead of whatever that feeling was.

V’s knuckles rapped against Pepper’s forearm, a gentle knock for her attention. “Hey, I gotta hit the bathroom, you wanna be my buddy?” They asked, though the raise of their eyebrows gave the impression that the question was simply a formality; there was no option.

Making the journey to the restrooms a short one, Vi didn’t even pretend they had to pee, instead moving to stand in front of the mirror and check their eyeliner. “So are you gonna make a move tonight?” They asked, voice quieter than usual.

Pepper sighed, of course this was the reason she was in here. “Dude, I don’t fuckin’ know.” She said, exasperation travelling across her features at even the thought of confessing her feelings. She’d talked a big game about it before, about how she loved Davey, about how she’d confess her feelings for him the second she got the idea he liked her back, but truthfully she was… well, she was scared.

Vi barely looked up from the mirror, but their expression softened. “Obviously you don’t have to,” they reassured. “But I bet that if you don’t at least ask how he feels he’ll never tell.”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “That’s because there’s-“

The door to the bathroom flew open and Mickey blustered inside, annoyance clear on their face. “Okay, how dare you two leave me alone with those idiots.”

V grimaced. “Oh shit, sorry. I just wanted a minute to see what was up with Pepper and Davey.”

Mickey’s lips pursed, eyebrows raising onto her forehead. “Oh shit okay what’s the deal?” They asked, moving closer.

Against her better judgement, Pepper leaned her head against the bathroom wall. “There’s nothing to tell! I don’t have any plans to tell him, and there’s no way someone who talks as much as Davey would have a crush on someone and not say something.” She looked pointedly at her best friends.

“That… is an excellent point.” Mickey acquiesced.

Vi lifted a finger. “Or! Maybe that’s the way you can tell that he does like you.” They moved toward the sink to wash the eyeliner remnants from under their fingernails.

“What?”

Mickey nodded. “Oh, no, I totally get it.”

“Get what? What are you talking about?”

V smiled, turning to put their damp hands on Pepper’s shoulders. “You just said Davey never shuts up.” Pepper nodded slowly. “He’ll talk to you about anything, right?” Another nod.

“But he never talks about what’s up between the two of you.” Mickey finished. “Literally, even if Jack asks, he brushes him off.”

Brow furrowed, Pepper turned back to Vi, who was grinning. “If you don’t ask, he’ll never tell.” They clarified, an echo of their earlier statement. “Don’t fucking focus on what he says, bitch, you have to ask about what he’s not saying.”

Terrifyingly, that made it click. Something welled up hot and thick in Pepper’s throat, hope or fear she couldn’t tell. Whatever it was, she wasn’t budging at her friends’ optimism. “You two are reading too far into this.” She countered weakly.

Mickey grabbed her hand, squeezed it a few times. “Listen, we’re not pressuring you.” They explained, and Violet hummed in agreement. “You don’t have to ask him anything or tell him anything, if you just wanna vibe tonight, that’s totally cool.”

Just like that, the tension melted from Pepper’s body, her psyche apparently pleased at being left alone for the moment. She looked between her friends, Vi’s warm smile and Mickey’s kind eyes, took a deep breath, and went back out into the park.

Back where the boys were waiting, the curtain to the first haunted house had lifted, and the line began to move. Jack waved them down with a smile, and they gapped into the line. He pulled the park pamphlet from his back pocket and flipped to the back, where the haunted house attractions were listed. “Okay so we started next to the big spinn-y thing. Which is… the cult one, The Culling.” He announced.

“Yeah, Jack.” Race deadpanned. “It’s on the sign.” He pointed above the line, which, sure enough, boasted the name of the site.

Jack swatted his friend with the pamphlet before tucking it into his back pocket. “I knew that.” He grinned, throwing an arm around Mickey’s shoulders and pulling them closer.

Davey nudged Pepper’s side. “Partners?” He smiled, offering his elbow as their group stepped up to the banister blocking off the entryway.

She ignored the wink that Vi threw at her, and looped her arm through Davey’s with a blush and a simper. “Hope we don’t die in there.” She mused.

He patted the hand she’d placed on his bicep, warm in contrast to her poorly-circulated own ones. “If we do, we’ll die doing what we loved.”

Her head tilted. “What’s that?”

“Kicking and screaming.”

Pepper crumpled into a fit of laughs as the employee lifted the bannister. “Have fun.” The woman at the entryway smiled, her eyebrows raising mischievously.

Race and V went first, obviously, Race throwing his arm across their shoulders and pulling them close. Mickey and Jack went next, Jack’s hand curled protectively into the back of her shirt as they ducked through the curtain. A billow of dry-ice smoke kicked out at her and Davey as she gripped his arm tighter, moving through the curtain and into a room flooded with red light.

There was a man in the corner, a pair of bloodied goat horns protruding from his head, who growled lowly at them as they walked past. Davey cast a look in his direction, following in the footsteps of his friends, and they heard Race scream further up ahead. Pepper laughed a little at that, the adrenaline beginning to swirl hot in her veins.

The next room was full of actors, at least a dozen kneeling frozen in mock prayer, and the woman to Pepper’s right let out a broken wail, making her jump. Davey’s hand came to grab hers again, this time his fingers tangling with hers. He was laughing gently at her fright, something that might have pissed her off if it had been anyone else.

They passed through a hallway full of strobelights and white walls painted with bloody handprints, the thrum of electricity the only noise for a moment, and Pepper opened her mouth to ask when the Cult Stuff would start, when a man wearing a decaying goat’s skull for a mask barrelled around the corner, making both her and Davey scream.

She curled into his side, awkwardly stepping on his shoe as she did, and watched the man with enormous eyes as he tilted his mask curiously at them. Davey laughed a little, and whether he was trying to laugh off his fright or genuinely enjoying himself, Pepper couldn’t tell.

They rounded the corner, careful of the actor who’d popped out at them, and turned into a room seemingly devoid of anyone, except for Mickey and Jack, who were giggling as they shuffled into the next room. The walls were tall and painted white, a hidden projector playing a black and white video reminiscent of those old war propaganda commercials. It was too loud for Pepper to hear anything properly, but she could catch snippets of the voiceover, “Join us in… the great and powerful… be afraid…” as the video flicked between church services, goats on farms, hypnotic black and white spirals.

Davey tilted his head at the screen. “Christians, am I right?”

Swallowing a laugh, she jutted her elbow into his side. “This is not the time, David.” She snorted, coyly tugging him closer by the anchor his hands provided. Fuck it, why not get close to him while she had the chance?

The end was in sight, she could see the cool blue light of the outdoors pouring in from the other side of the final room; one that was lined with pews, with a goat-headed preacher at the front, holding a black leather-bound book and screaming about the end of days. The church (cult?) -goers were in various stages of worship, some with their arms in the air, some reading their scripture, some sobbing towards the sky. A shudder ran through Davey, one so intense that she felt it in her own skin, and she wondered, briefly, what was so freaky about this particular scene that he-

SLAM

The actor in the pew she’d just passed closed his book with a deafening bang. She jumped, screamed so loud it felt like the sound had been ripped from her teeth, and didn’t realize she was shaking until Davey’s arm encircled her, speeding past the latter half of the room and out of the first haunted house.

Pepper swallowed a mouthful of fresh air, held it for a few seconds, and released it with a pleased laugh. She turned her face up to Davey’s, ready to ask him if his heart was racing the way hers was, when he cut her off, gripping her shoulders like she’d disappear. “Are you okay?” He demanded.

Her eyebrows pinched together, her smile melting at the way his eyes were blown wide. “Yeah? I-I’m fine?” She said, reaching up to grip his wrists. “What’s wrong, are you okay?”

Every hint of expression faded from his face. The fire left his eyes, his hold on her softening, his jaw and browline going slack at the realization. “Yeah, I… I thought he-”

Race’s hands landed on either one of their shoulders. “Hey, Jack wants to know if you guys wanna do the hotel one or the factory one next, we’re at a tie.”

Pepper turned to him, blinking back the heat in her cheeks. “Oh fuck, okay, we’ll be right there.”

There were four more haunted houses, each of them with a bit of walking distance between them. Davey didn’t release her hand until they’d cleared the last attraction.

---

Still reeling from the adrenaline rush of the haunted houses, the group made their way toward the back of the park where the Ferris Wheel resided. Violet and Race were skipping down the lanes, their laughter fluttering in the cool autumn wind. Mickey and Jack were walking in front of them, their pinkies linked as they recounted their haunted house experiences.

Pepper tried to ignore that Davey was still so close to her.

His voice broke her out of her thoughts.

“Which one was your favorite?” He asked, the back of his hand brushing against Pepper’s as they walked. He was looking down at her, nose all rosy and cheeks flushed. He wore autumn so well.

She pursed her lips as she thought. “The cult one.” She settled after a moment.

Davey grinned. “Mine too. Or the hotel was really good.” He turned to her once they reached the line for the ferris wheel. “Y’know, when that guy back there slammed his bible closed I thought he hit you.” His fingers twitched, like he was waiting to reach for something.

There it was. The reason for his earlier freakout.

Laughing lightly, Pepper shook her head, curls falling in her face as she tried to dispel any of his remaining worry. “Oh God, no. Isn’t that illegal, anyway?” She focused on the ferris wheel ahead of them, the eighty feet of blinking lights and rocky baskets that they’d be shoved into; anything besides the bewildering look that was back on Davey’s face. Ahead of them, their friends were being ushered into passenger cars. Jack planted a kiss to the side of Mickey’s head and whispered something into their ear that made them grin.

Pepper tried not to be jealous, and failed.

Beside her, Davey was rambling again. She tuned in right in the middle of his spiel. “It’s some kinda torture house, basically. They just wail on you for like ten hours, and they film it, too. You have to sign a waiver and everything, and it’s like, forty pages or something. I watched a video of this one girl who went there and she said-”

“You two all set?” The ride operator asked, her smile bright as she cut into Davey’s rambling.

He blinked, like he hadn’t realized how close they were. “Oh, um. Yeah, I guess we are.” He resolved.

They clambered into the rocky car and belted themselves in, waited for the attendant to lock their door, and began their ascent.

Immediately, Pepper felt the wind chill. “Holy fuck, it’s freezing up here.” She barked. Davey’s cardigan was warm, sure, but the cold air cut through it like a knife.

Davey turned to her and readjusted the way he was sitting, opening up his arms. “I know, c’mere.” He wiggled his fingers and everything and, well, how was he supposed to say no to that?

She scooted closer until her leg was pressed right up against his, and her upper body curled into him. They’d done this before, a million times, when watching movies or at parties when it got crowded, or when she asked him to read to her, and Davey, ever the wonderful companion, never complained-

Oh.

Oh, no.

That was what her friends meant.

Davey’s arms wrapped around her tight. Without thinking, her arm did the same. “Better?” He asked, pulling back to look down at her.

Pepper smiled with her heart in her throat. “Always.” She said, and looked up at him.

And there he was. The same Davey as always, with his pale skin and round hazel eyes, now grinning down at her like she had hung all the stars in the sky just for him. Here he was, and he was so close that their noses were almost touching. Not correcting strangers who thought they were dating. Holding her hand and giving her his clothes and sharing drinks with her. Here he was- and she was confused.

His mouth twitched, the way it always did when he was worried. “You okay, Pep?” He asked, quieter now.

A slow nod. “Yeah… just, um, thinking.” She responded. He opened his mouth, eager to ask more, but she cut him off. “About us.” She said, feeling bold now.

Davey’s eyebrows just about skyrocketed off his face. “Us.”

“Yeah.” Pepper’s hands were shaking, but she didn’t think she could stand another minute of this. All of her affections bottled up like a powder keg while he played with them so nonchalantly. “Davey, what are we?” She hoped the question didn’t come out as raw as it felt, but she could almost taste the blood on her tongue.

“Oh.” His shoulders dropped, and he looked away. His arms didn’t move from around her, but his eyes were flicking back and forth. “We’re… you’re… m-my best friend and...” He scrunched his eyes closed and took a deep breath. “You’re my best friend and... I’m so stupidly in love with you.”

Pepper sat up as the Ferris wheel stopped. They were at the top now.

“I know that’s a lot to throw at you, I’m sorry, but all day I’ve just been thinking about you and about how much it feels like you’re this missing piece of me, you know? Like every time I need someone you’re there, and every time I talk about you to anyone I get this big grin on my face. And then earlier when that lady said what she said, it just felt so right.” He’d been gesturing wildly with his hands until she grabbed them.

She pulled his hands into her lap, encasing them with her own cold ones. “Davey.”

He sighed with a wry smile. “You can tell me no, Pep, it’s okay. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Davey.” She tried again.

“And it’s not gonna ruin anything, I promise. I love you but that’s not gonna make me turn into an asshole, I still care about you as a friend.”

“David.” She grabbed the sides of his face in her cold hands. His jaw was tense. “I love you.” She said, plainly, the way you would state any other fact. The sky was blue, the Earth was round, and Pepper Simmons loved Davey Jacobs.

And for once, Davey- sweet, lovely Davey- didn’t start talking about love, or about basic heteronormativity, or fucking haunted houses. Instead, he leaned forward and kissed her.

Any great novelist, or even just your average writer, always compared a great kiss to fireworks. But this, Pepper thought, was better than any fireworks she’d ever seen. It was coming home after a long night. It was sitting by a fire on a cold winter day. It was years of sharing beds and writing texts in secret languages, of sitting at each other’s family dinners, of shared secrets and pinkie promises, playful teasing and pathetic yearning, all wrapped up in a soft press of lip to lip. It was Davey. Of course it was. In retrospect, nobody else had ever stood a chance.

Pepper was giggling when she pulled away from his lips. “I love you.” She repeated.

The lights of the amusement park were glittering in his eyes. “And I love you.” He was beaming, their foreheads tipped together. Then he started laughing, soft and slow and bubbly, as though he were savoring it. “Oy, we’re so ridiculous.” He said as the ferris wheel began to turn again.

She could’ve stayed there for days, looking at each of the freckles on his face like little star clusters in her vision. If there were ever a photo she could keep framed on the walls of her memory, it would be this; his smile, the ivory skin around his eyes crinkled as he laughed. She was laughing too. “Yeah, we are.” Her head leaned against his shoulder, a sigh escaping before she could stop it. “How long?”

There was a beat, and she knew Davey was thinking. “Um, four years maybe? It was the summer before junior year of high school, I know that much.” The thumb of his right hand, still around her, began rubbing at her shoulder.

Pepper sat upright, aghast. “Oh my God, you’re fucking with me.”

“I’m not.” He grinned.

“Holy fuck.” She snorted. “We could’ve been doing this for years!”

Davey poked her side, making her laugh in turn. “How about you?” There was the look in his eyes again, and this time she recognized it. Dreamy, warm, a little vulnerable.

“Senior Prom. Remember we slow danced together?”

The ferris wheel stopped again, this time with them at the back. “Yeah, holy shit. I was so nervous that night.” Pepper laughed, head tossed back. “I’m serious! I was so sweaty, I’m surprised you didn’t comment on it.”

“Your hands were like holding clams.” Another poke, this one less playful. “It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. We’re here now.”

A kiss landed on her cheek, warm in stark contrast to the biting cold. “I can’t believe this.” He was laughing. “I can’t believe you liked me back.” He said.

Pepper nuzzled her nose into his neck. “I know. I can’t either.” She rested her chin on his shoulder, looked up at him and sighed.

He turned back to her. “You know they’re not gonna leave us alone, right?” He asked, tilting his chin towards the baskets below them that held their friends.

“I’m aware,” she mumbled. “I mean, they did call it.”

His lips curled up into a wry smile. “I know they did.” His fingers found the long strands of her hair, wrapped themselves in them. “Race and V haven’t left me alone about you for like, two years straight.” He shrugged. “And oh my God, if I have to hear Sarah and Les talk about it one more time I’m gonna explode.”

Pepper’s jaw dropped. “Sarah and Les were teasing you?”

He scoffed gently. “Are you kidding? They tell me to shut up every time I talk about how pretty you are.” And yeah, maybe she should have expected that, if he truly had been in love with her since junior year of high school, but Pepper’s body reacted quicker than she could recognize, her cheeks going hot and nose scrunching as a smile broke across her features.

“Well,” She said as the ferris wheel began to turn again. “Lucky for us, we probably have some time to kill before we have to face them again.” She bit at her lower lip, glancing up at him and hoping he would catch onto her proposition.

And, since Davey had always been smart, he did. “You’re right.” He breathed, and then leaned down to catch her in another kiss, one that went on, well… a little longer than the first.

Later, they had to face their friends, red-faced and smiling as they admitted what had happened. They had to endure a good hour’s worth of teasing, V and Mickey taking the opportunity to deliver a few well-intended pokes to Pepper’s sides, and Race and Jack offering high-fives to her- well, she supposed he was her boyfriend now.

The two of them climbed into the backseat of Race’s mom’s minivan again, this time hand-in-hand and sharing warm laughter. Davey stole another kiss from her, giggly and content, and promptly leaned his head on her shoulder to get some rest.

She supposed everything else could wait.

[bittywitches]

Come Over (Ethan Dolan Fanfic)

A/N: Ethan’s stories abt him being sick made me soft so I wanted to write something abt it :)) Basically Y/N and Ethan have been going out for a while but Ethan isn’t the most expressive when it comes to showing his affection for his gf and he starts to realize that it might acc be a problem...

Ly guys hope you enjoy it <3

Used Tissues were strewn across the bed, falling off onto the floor. Tissue boxes were stacked carelessly on the night table, most of them half empty. Ethan’s almost dead phone was plugged into his wall, and he aimlessly scrolled through his insta feed, his hood over his head and the drawstrings pulled tight. The covers were draped all the way up to his chin. He groaned, his head burning up even more than the day before. being sick was bad enough, but Grayson leaving him to go to the beach just made it that little bit worse. He spent the entire day eating food and lying in bed doing nothing, and it drove him insane. He ached for any sort of human interaction. He even started making conversation with the Halloween decorations.

He went to his contacts and scrolled down until he found the person he was looking for. He pressed call and put the phone on speaker.

“Hey, hon.”

“Hi, cutie.”

His girlfriend laughed. “I think your medicine is making you loopy.”

“Course not, sweetness.”

“Right, sure. What’s up? You feeling any better?”

“No. Grayson abandoned me. I’m so bored. Come over.”

“Babe, I’m in a lecture hall right now.”

“Yea? Why’d you answer your phone?”

“Because it’s not currently going on.”

“Then come over!”

“It’s going to start soon, you dumbass.”

“Ugggghhhh.”

“Shut up, people will hear you.”

“When’s your lecture over?”

“In an hour.”

“Do you have to stay?”

“I’ll come over when it’s finished.”

“Ugh. Fine. BYEEE SUGAR MUFFIN!”

“Oh my god people are staring at me now you’re such an asshole k bye”

She cut the phone, and he laughed out loud. Embarrassing his girlfriend was one of his favourite things to do. He chuckled to himself again, then went back to scrolling through his feed, and finally stopped when his eye caught the familiar face of his favourite girl.

It was a picture she had posted a few hours before, of her and Ethan sitting in front of the campfire they had made the weekend before. They’d gone camping with a few of their friends, and they had an amazing time. Y/N and Ethan were sitting on a log in front of the fire, roasting marshmallows. Ethan’s was already burnt, and Y/N was laughing in the photo while she had her arm linked around his. He looked at how happy she looked, and how dang good she looked with her messy hair and face smeared with the ashes from the fire, and he smiled to himself. He really was the luckiest guy in the world, to have such an amazing girlfriend. He swiped to see the next photo she’d posted, and it was of her kissing him on the cheek while Ethan made the fakest annoyed expression in the world. He cringed, looking at his dumb face next to hers. Her arms were carelessly thrown over him, wrapped around his neck, and her eyes were scrunched tight. One of his arms was wrapped around her, and the other one was still holding his now on fire marshmallow. She had posted it with a caption: 

Firstname.Lastname Eww he tastes like sweat and ashes 😣

He snorted.

She was absolutely adorable.

He started typing up a comment:

that’s what you get for kissing me 😈

He read it over, shook his head, then cleared it to write something else:

Your kisses are still the sweetest 😉

He liked that better, and smiled when his phone dinged just a few minutes later:

Firstname.Lastname liked your comment: Your kisses are still the sweetest 😉Firstname.Lastname mentioned you in a comment: @ethandolan 😊❤️

Ethan wished that he didn’t have to look so stupid in the picture. He loved it when Y/N kissed him, he was just too awkward to ever voice that out loud, or show it for that matter. She was just so amazing, and sometimes it seemed like he had no idea how to show her that. 

“Why does she have to have her stupid lecture...”

Two hours later, Ethan finally perked up at the sound of the front door opening. He heard the thud of her shoes hitting the floor, the rattle of her keys being thrown onto the table, and then her soft footsteps racing up the stairs. The click of her turning the doorknob, and the creak of his door opening to reveal her, in his old sweatshirt and tights, her hair pulled back into a ponytail, holding some grocery bags.

“Oh my god, you look like hell.”

“Thanks, gorgeous.”

She laughed, walking up to his bed and plopping down beside him. She felt his forehead, and her eyebrows scrunched up.

“What did you do to get yourself this sick in the first place?”

“I ran outside in the middle of the night in nothing but my birthday suit then dived into the pool.” His nasal voice made his sarcastic remark sound funnier than it should have.

“Haha.” She grabbed her bags and began pulling out various assortments of items.

“What’s all this?”

“Just stuff to make you feel better.” She pulled out some hot soup (that Ethan had no idea how she had the time to make), cough drops, more cold medicine, a huge bag of chips, and a small, purple teddy bear, which she placed in front of him.

“Who’s this little guy?”

She grinned. “Just someone to keep you company when you get bored during one of my lectures again.”

He rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t deny that he loved the little thing. It was adorable. Like her.

“You know you didn’t have to go to all the trouble of getting this stuff.”

“Well, when you called me you sounded pretty bad.”

“I just missed you.”

She looked at him weirdly for a moment, but then shook her head and began to put the items onto his night table.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Dude.”

“Nothing.”

He shoved her shoulder gently, and she rolled her eyes.

“Do you want soup?”

“Uhuh.”

She opened the container and handed it to him, along with a plastic spoon. He gratefully took it, slurping it down a bit obnoxiously, but she smiled at him nonetheless.

“You know, you’d think that someone with such a nice house and so much storage place would have quick-to-make soup around.”

“Come on, you know soup is like the most boring dish ever.”

She gave him an annoyed look.

“Ah ah ah Babe I need a tish!” He hastily put the bowl onto his night table while trying to hold in his sneeze, while Y/N grabbed the nearest tissue box and handed him one. He sneezed loudly.

“Jesus, that gets really annoying.”

“Yea, I can tell.” She gestured to all of the crumpled up tissues. “This is so nasty, how do you just sleep with all of these surrounding you?”

She grabbed his trash can and began tossing the tissues into the basket. 

“Oh babe no that’s gross! You don’t have to-“

“Oh my god just shut up and let me take care of you!”

She gave him a heavy sigh and continued to clean up. Ethan gave her a blank stare, unsure of what to say. 

“..Thank you.” He decided on that.

He looked over at him, looking a bit pissed off. “Hey, if you think I was fishing for a-“

“No! Jeez, I’m being serious. You didn’t have to do any of this or even come here at all since I’m assuming you’ve got a lot of work to do, and I’m really thankful for that. For you.”

She blinked. “Seriously, is there something in your medicine?”

“Oh my fucking god!” He flopped back onto his pillow. 

“I’m sorry, I’m just not used to..” she waved her hands vaguely. “All this from you.”

“Yeah, I know.”

She finally finished picking up all the tissues, then sat down next to E on the bed. She grabbed the bag of chips and popped it open, then tossed one into her mouth. 

“You wanna watch a movie or something?”

“Are you saying I have to get up?”

“Wow okay bye then-“

“No!” He laughed, grabbing her arm to prevent her from getting off the end without him. “I’m kidding. Yes, a movie sounds great.”

Y/N sat cross-legged on the couch, idly scrolling through the movies on Netflix. Ethan sat across on the other side of the couch, eating more of the chips. 

“What about this one?”

“Seen it already.”

She groaned, clicking the remote louder than usual as if to display her annoyance. “You’ve already seen like every movie ever.”

“Well there isn’t much else to do when you're sick.”

“Blegh.”

Y/N rested her chin on her hand. Her ponytail was falling apart a little bit, and little strands fell to float against her cheek. Ethan loved to play with her hair. He’d do it a lot without ever thinking about it. They’d be hanging out with their friends, and he’d just begin fiddling with ends. At one point Y/N had gotten so annoyed by it that she had told him he might as well just braid it instead. But surprisingly to her, Ethan actually liked that idea. And so, she taught him how to do it, and from then on whenever she came over she would end up leaving with her hair braided. She’d always say it annoyed her, but Ethan knew she secretly loved it from the way he saw her smile whenever he did it.

Ethan found himself zoning out, just staring at her as she was looking for a movie for them to watch. Her face, her eyes, her mouth, her nose, her hands, her arms, her back...

“Oh oh! How about this one?”

Y/N startled him back to reality. “Hm? Yea. Sure.”

“God finally.”

To be honest, Ethan wasn’t even sure what they were going to watch.

“Hey, hold on. I’m gonna go get something.” He got up to go head towards his bedroom.

“Get what?”

“A blanket.”

“What? Why?”

“So we can cuddle.”

Y/N’s eyes widened. “What?”

Ethan shrugged. “I’m cold. And I wanna cuddle.”

Y/N’s mouth hung open for a second, having no idea what to do in this situation. 

He wanted to what?

Yea, of course, they’d cuddled before, but he’d never been so bluntly said that he wanted it. She was always so sure that he was embarrassed by it. “Really?”

“Well, Yea.”

She blushed hard, looking away from him and smiling to herself, then looked back

at him. “Okay.”

He smiled at her. “Okay.”

“you are so fucking comfy.” Y/N nestled up closer to Ethan, burying her face into his sweatshirt. Her legs were carelessly thrown on top of him, and Ethan rubbed her thigh under the blanket.

“That is the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“And you should be grateful, mister.”

He chuckled and planted a kiss on Y/N’s forehead. He heard her sigh in content.

“Aren’t you afraid of getting sick from me?”

“Oh, this is definitely worth it.”

“God, you are so cute.”

She blushed. “Babe, what is up with you today?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know...” he stroked his fingers along her back. “Guess I just realized that I don’t appreciate you enough.”

Y/N snorted. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Ethan repositioned himself so he was facing Y/N, her lying on his arm with her hands pressed up against his chest. “You know, you’re just...”

“I’m what?”

“Amazing.”

Her face turned even more red than before, and Ethan grinned. “Man, I didn’t know I could do that to you so easily.”

“Yea well, you’d know if you tried once and a while.”

As soon as the words left her mouth Y/N covered her mouth with her hands, wishing she could take those words back.

Ethan’s face fell. “Ouch. Guess that was a jab at me, huh?”

“It just came out, I didn’t mean to-“

“No, Y/N. you did.”

“I did not!”

“You did.”

Y/N tried to say something, but the words got caught in her throat. She sighed, pushing the loose strands of hair up and out of her face. “Babe..”

“No, you don’t have to explain yourself. It makes sense, I’m not the greatest with that kind of stuff. I just didn’t know it ever bothered you that much.”

She let her head fall onto the side of the couch. “It doesn’t, not really..” She paused. “I don’t know. It’s just nice when you hear those kinds of things from the person you love, yknow?”

Ethan tucked another peaking strand behind her ear. “I may not say it all the time, but you know that’s how I feel, don’t you?”

“Yea...” she started playing with his drawstrings. “I just... You know how you said you missed me? Well that... it just makes my heart-“ she pressed her hand on top of the place where Ethan’s heart would be, then made an exploding motion with her hands along with a little sound effect. “You know?”

He took her hand and pressed it against his heart again. “Well, if it makes it any better...” he brought her hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “You make my heart feel like that every day.”

Y/N beamed at him. She reached up and grabbed his face, then kissed him. Ethan couldn’t help but moan a bit, kissing her back stronger than he ever had. When they finally pulled apart, Y/N looked just as bewildered as he did.

“Where did that come from?”

“I have no clue.”

“Well-“

Before he knew it Y/N was kissing him again, cradling his jaw in her hands. Her eyebrows were furrowed, lost in the feeling of Ethan’s lips against hers. It was like nothing mattered but the two of them, underneath their little blanket.

Ethan pulled away suddenly in some sort of urgency and caught his breath. 

“I love you.” He rubbed her cheek. “And I’m sorry that I don’t say it enough.”

Y/N breathed out, smiling at him wide.

“I’m probably definitely going to get sick.”

“Y/N!”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” She pecked him on the lips.

 “I love you too.”

[szopenhauer]

Do bridges make you nervous? only sometimes Is Michael Cera cute? I used to hug like this

Would you make out with Evan-Rachel Wood? I was expecting some ugly old guy but she ain’t that bad

Have you ever done anything sexual with someone of the same sex? obvi Do you collect issues of a certain magazine? I do Have you ever pawned anything off at a pawn shop? I have Did you like The Hangover movies? not really, nah What time is your alarm clock set for? it’s not Do you have any vintage clothing? yeah Are you a cheerleader? never was What color of colored contacts would you like to have? dark brown/almost black, yellow cat eyes, red... Are there any dead stuffed animals in your house? nope but I wouldn’t mind unless it’s not vintage/natural death What’s the best prize you’ve won on an amusement park/carnival game? my dad won a stuffed monkey for me once <3 Have you ever been indoor skydiving? I have not Would you have any interest in going on a cruise? thx but no

Do you find musicians or athletes more attractive? musicians

Do you fight with your mom often? could say so Would you rather have your son have the name Daniel as first or middle name? whatever Do you find yourself attractive? pfft Honestly, how are you feeling? not good Is it harder to tell someone you love them, or don’t love them? harder is to tell someone you don’t love them because you’re hurting them Which do you remember more: insults? or compliments? insults Have you ever felt like you are worthless? I am worthless What do you hear right now? niece >.< Where did your last hug take place? my bedroom Would you say you drink more pop / soda than you should? not at all lol How many times has your bedroom been painted? twice Has anyone ever told you that they think you have ADHD? I don’t have ADHD

Do you have a solo mailbox or is it part of a cluster mailbox [such as at an apartment complex]? solo Is your stove gas or electric? gas, I’d prefer electric Are you planning to carve pumpkins this Halloween? noooo What color Christmas lights do you like the best? hmm... Describe the difference between dislike and hatred towards another person. dislike is closer to neutrality/ignorance, you’re just not a fan but hate is causing anger, you can’t stand a person and sometimes wish them bad things or want to hurt them yourself, you consider someone your enemy and don’t want to hear/talk/think about them, you cry because of that person often too as they ruin your life somehow, you just wish they didn’t exist or at least stay away 

When was the last time you have felt anxious in a public space? always When was the last time a stranger asked you for some money? Did you give them any? recently, no way, not even gonna explain myself again

When was the last time you had to speak to a crowd? How well did that go? not since school How would you describe your general outlook towards humanity? ugh... What do you tend to do to ease tense situations? depends Have you ever tried to help someone subside an insecurity that they’ve held? if I could and if they wanted my help

Would you like to live in a place with one steady season or a place that experiences al four seasons? spring/summer weather all year long would be awesome

What do you normally say or how do you normally act in response to a compliment? that isn’t not true Do you normally plan ahead or are you more of a spontaneous person? it’s complicated Do you find certain ideologies in philosophy interesting? parts

Do you walk or jog often? walk

How long was the farthest that you have travelled on foot? I've been on a pilgrimage

Do you tend to listen to music that embraces your mood or does music dictate your mood? Is it a little bit of both? a bit of both

Do you like architecture?  kinda

Is there a picture you could share that is something you find aesthetically pleasing?

Do you think others consider you very observant?  they do  Are there any clothes or items that you have and are embarrassed to wear or show in public? sorta

Are there any songs that you perhaps like but avoid because it makes you sad when heard? for example - Powfu - Death bed

*I wanted to find the title because I forgot as usually and my dad came in and I was sitting there crying with him whole 3 minutes holding his hand, I’m so scared

What month do you think was most stressful to you and why? this one? Do you like opossums?  they’re cute <3 What is your favourite unhealthy drink that you like to consume (if you have one, that is)? I don’t have one, I don’t drink anything unhealthy

When was the last time you’ve visited a family member’s house? What was the occasion? My aunt’s last year. We were picking her up cause she was coming to stay with us for a few days, but she was still packing and stuff so we went in and waited. How do you feel about fictional languages (such as Dothraki and Klingon)? interesting

How do you usually feel when one of your favourite television or book series end? sad What would you do if you knew a person that you were not fond of or even disliked, but they considered you as a friend? Would you confront them, avoid them, etc.? I’ve been in this situation before and I tried to avoid them but now I would try to explain to them first why we can’t be friends Do you watch documentaries? If so, do you have a particular favourite? rarely, my favs are: Marina Abramovic: The Artist Is Present, Advances style,  Queen: Days of Our Lives, Bright Lights: Starring Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds, Królik bo berlińsku, Finding Vivian Maier and Iris 

How many hours has it been since you woke up? too many  What were you doing the last time 7pm rolled around? went for a walk

What is something that always makes you feel pretty? pfft Would you rather live in a mansion or a small cozy home? small cozy home or apartment How old will you be in 3 birthdays? 31 Do you think you’ll be married by then? maybe, maybe not If you were offered to smoke some weed right now, would you accept? I would not Do you think you’ll have a Valentine next year? we’ll see Honestly, who is the last person to tell you that they love you? my gf Is sex on you mind more than 3 times a day? it’s not Do you have a condom in your room? why would I have one?

[fourteenacross]

year in review

Time for the year in review! I do these two surveys and the writing one every year, though the writing one is gonna wait until I have time to collect all the links and do the word count and everything.

Fandom 2017

1. Your main fandom of the year?

Definitely still Hamilton on the reading/writing front. In the "this is all I talk about" way, it was probably Great Comet or maybe Malloy in general because I still want to talk about Ghost Quartet all the time.

2. Your favorite film watched this year?

(Hahaha, in last year's meme I said something about finding Moana surprisingly moving and wanting to see it again. I ended up seeing it like, five times in theatres.)

But actual films that I actually saw in 2017 that weren't Moana. Probably Get Out. It's really a masterful piece of work in my very favorite genre. I made a zillion people see it. I still think about it all the time. And [vague spoilers] the bit where Rod comes out of the car is probably my favorite movie moment in 2017. [/vague spoilers]

3. Your favorite book read this year?

I can narrow it down to my top three, which were Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee, Star-Crossed by Barbara Dee, and Ghostland by Colin Dickey. The first two are completely unsurprising--Gentleman's Guide is my favorite sort of narrative, where there are exciting adventures and also a queer romance and everyone lives happily ever after. Star-Crossed is the book I needed when I was thirteen, and Ghostland is something I'm still talking about all the time.

4. Your favorite album or song to listen to this year?

Did I listen to anything new this year? Oh, Ghost Quartet! Definitely Ghost Quartet, it was all I listened to for about two months.

5. Your favorite TV show of the year?

Oh god, I don't know? There was nothing I was obsessive over. New stuff that I liked: One Day at a Time, The Good Place, and...maybe that was it?

6. Your favorite online fandom community of the year?

idk. To be honest, I still don’t quite ~*~get~*~ tumblr (tho I had some nice conversations via the chat function, despite my general awkwardness as a human), LJ is dead, and while I connect with fandom friends and talk about fandom on Twitter, I don’t do that as much as I whine about my life. I guess AO3 has been great via comments received, but that also feels one-sided, as chatty cathy as I sometimes get when responding to people’s comments. Most of my fandom conversations this year have PROBABLY been over text?

^^^^ That's what I wrote last year and it probably remains true, except to say that I had a lot of gr8 conversations about my dumb fic with @lisapizza​.

7. Your best new fandom discovery of the year?

I don't think I had one, unless you count Ghost Quartet.

8. Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?

Everything that happened around the end of Great Comet. I'm still angry and heartbroken over it.

9. Your fandom boyfriend of the year?

I'm changing this from "your TV bf" and "your TV gf" because I just don't watch a ton of teevee anymore. Still, even with that change, I'm not sure I have a fandom boyfriend right now. I have been pretty anti-dude this year. OH, I guess unless you count Lucas Steele getting all up in my biz on stage when I saw Comet in August XD

10. Your fandom girlfriend of the year?

Probably Brittain Ashford or Morgan Marcell.

11. Your biggest squee moment of the year?

My entire Chicago trip was pretty great, including seeing Karen as Angelica which was WOW. Seeing Malloy as Pierre. The final performance of Great Comet in a ferris wheel with @lisapizza​ @charmingpplincardigans​ and @chiasticbees​

12. The most missed of your old fandoms?

Mostly I miss having close buddies in fandom. I miss texting @pearlo​ every dumb fic idea I have and planning trips and parties for people to come do fannish stuff together.

13. The fandom you haven’t tried yet, but want to?

I’m p mono-fannish, so I’m good for now.

14. Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?

Oh god, I don't know? Heroes, probably. It's weird not doing DragonCon this year. Um, Hamilton in Boston. Whatever happens with Moby Dick. Black Panther and A Wrinkle in Time. The Simon vs. movie.

***

General 2017

What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

Went on a non-con vacation with friends! Recorded a live podcast episode (twice!)! Uh...probably other things?

Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

+ Read more adult books

Aahahahaha, if I did that, it was by like...one. So no.

+ Keep track of good things that happen

I started this at the end of the year? But I did not start in January, so much of the year is lost to my shitty memory.

+ Make a writing schedule and try to stick to it for at least a month

This did not happen.

+ Be better with money–pay off half the credit card

This also did not happen.

+ Go on more dates

This also did not happen. I did go on some, but not as many as 2016 and I spent a large chunk of 2017 dragging my feet over asking someone out instead of just...asking.

Next year:

+ Come up with a better way to track reading/writing/finances + Set up some kind of writing schedule + Cook more often + Schedule at least a couple days a month that are designated "get nothing done" days, so I have at least a couple days where I'm not an anxious mess over not doing enough. + Go somewhere new + Go on more dates--there will be more kissing in 2018, I stfg.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

Caitlin had a baby! I still haven't met him :(

Did anyone close to you die?

The only person I can think of is Sara, a con friend who I know through several of my closer friends. It was weird being at con without her.

What countries did you visit?

Just the US. Hoping to change that in 2018. I did go to ATL, Charlotte, and Chicago, but even that feels like less travel than I normally do.

What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?

I’d like to feel more on top of things. I’d like more organization in my life. I’d like more sleep. I’d like a girlfriend.

^^^^ Keeping that answer from last year.

What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

January 21 and the Women's March, which was amazing and energizing. June 13 when we saw Malloy as Pierre and that whole weird weekend. September 3 and having the final performance of Great Comet in a ferris wheel. (And also crying my cosplay make-up off all day like a nerd.)

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Staying alive? I feel like this was not a particularly strong year for achievements.

What was your biggest failure?

The whole year feels kind of like a fuzzy grey blur. I feel like I can come up with nine hundred failures, but none of them were particularly bad.

Did you suffer illness or injury?

I started the year off with a broken foot and also with a cold that lasted almost a week. The usual brain stuff was worse than usual thanks to the state of the world. I got glasses.

What was the best thing you bought?

Tickets to Great Comet and Hamilton and Ghost Quartet and Ghost Light and all the other shows and things I saw. My trip to Chicago. My skeleton onesie.

Whose behavior merited celebration?

My friends. A lot of excellent activists.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The American people as a whole and everything associated with our clusterfuck election outcome.

Where did most of your money go?

Grown-up type stuff (rent, utilities, groceries), cons, and travel.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Chicago, HeroesCon, DragonCon, Hamilton, Great Comet, Ghost Quartet. Galentine's Day and my Great Comet wake and my Halloween party.

What song will always remind you of 2017?

I feel like this question is more aimed towards people who listen to the radio. My answer is going to be Ghost Quartet because I listened to that a lot.

Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? I would say that, overall, 2017 has been a sadder year for me than 2016, because up until November, my 2016 was pretty great. But this very moment right now, I think I'm probably slightly happier than I was in December 2016 because everything seemed SO bleak at that point, and at least now there's been some hope.

b) thinner or fatter? Same.

c) richer or poorer? Same.

What do you wish you’d done more of?

Writing. Sleeping. Going on dates. Hanging out with people.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Being depressed. Obsessing over stupid shit people said on the internet.

Did you fall in love in 2017?

Nope.

What was your favorite TV program?

For new stuff, probably The Good Place.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Many, many people. THANKS, POLITICS.

What was the best book you read?

See above for more details on this one.

What was your greatest musical discovery?

Ghost Quartet.

What did you want and get?

Cons, brunch, travel, various tickets to things, my skeleton onesie.

What did you want and not get?

Impeachment. A girlfriend. More sleep.

What was your favorite film of this year?

Get Out

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 32! I had a party and we played Drawful and @lisapizza made me a beautiful cake!

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Any sort of fix to our current political mess.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?

Retro-y dresses.

What kept you sane?

@ginthusiastic @pearlo @caphairdadbeard @isjustprogress @intrikate88 @lisapizza @charmingpplincardigans @anachronistique @chiasticbees @brilligspoons and the rest of the Boston crew whose tumblrs I don’t know/remember, and the DCon crew and Great Comet and Hamilton and GBBO and social media breaks.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Brittain Ashford, Morgan Marcell, the entire cast of The Last Jedi.

What political issue stirred you the most?

It's hard to pick just one when the whole country is on fire.

Who did you miss?

Pretty much everyone when they are not right next to me. Sarah Bay, a lot, but I feel weird singling one person out. [This is exactly what I wrote for the last three years, but I’m keeping it because it’s still true.]

Who was the best new person you met?

I’m trying to think of actualfax new people I met? I can't think of anyone?

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017:

No one cares about facts.

Quote a song that sums up your year:

I will try to forgive myself for living in the dark for my loss of wonder for forgetting how to play

I will try to forgive myself for being absent in public and bored before stars

for not remembering for not being in my body for not starting right now I will try to see myself as I am

[meanwhileinoz]

10+ Times Guys Hilariously Missed The Most Unsubtle Hints From Girls And Made Us All Groan

Dropping hints is practically the safest way to get about anything in life. If the person noticed the hint and decided to do something about it, then it’s your lucky day. And, if they choose to ignore it then you just have to assume that they didn’t really pick it up. But desperate times call for desperate measures!

When it comes to dropping hints at guys, they wouldn’t know a girl liked them even if it slapped them in the face! Why are guys so bad at taking a damn hint? Honestly, nobody knows the answer to this. But, most guys are not that observant, so they basically won’t notice anything because they’re just that good at missing the most unsubtle of hints.

  Here are 10+ times guys hilariously missed the most unsubtle hints from girls and made us all groan:

Via AskReddit

1. Nevermind, he just Googled it.

One time I was texting my bf and told him that I bought a vibrator for the nights he was away at work or something rather. his exact response was, “oh cool, what colour?” I sent him a pic of it and he replied with “can you put it up your butt too?”. I sent him a text replying, “come over and find out” and he replied two minutes later, “nevermind, I just Googled it”

2. How can anyone be this stupid?

Me: so you’re saying, if i like this guy,i should just be straightforward and ask him out?

Him: ya

Me: ok, do you want to go out with me this Friday?

Him: ya, just like that, it was perfect.

Me:…

3. That was meant as a friend’s kiss, right?

My then-not-boyfriend and I were waiting at the train station on my train home; he would leave with the bus after it arrived. My train came and I thought ‘fuck it’ and kissed my then-not-boyfriend on the mouth. Immediately after, I jumped on the train, on which the doors then closed. I didn’t see his reaction nor felt it so I sat pretty anxious on the train, thinking I ruined i tall. About 5 minutes later, I got a text saying:

‘That was meant as a friends kiss, right?’

4. *Cannonballs into a pool of shame*.

Last summer I was doing my best to seduce who is my current boyfriend. We were going swimming at a friend’s house, and while they were changing into their bathing suits in the house, me and him make our way to the pool.

I take advantage of this moment to strip in front of him, as sensual as possible. (Bathing suit was underneath my clothes.)

He runs past me, full sprint, and cannonballs into the pool.

5. He was just being a gentleman

Halloween morning 2014, he knocked on my door to drive me to work. We had been friends for a month and he wouldn’t make a move, so I answered the door in a T-shirt and cat ears and absolutely nothing else; that bastard walked right past me and looked for coffee in the kitchen.

We’ve been married 10 months now 🙂

He claims he totally knew my intentions but knew being a gentleman would get him farther, I say he’s full of it.

Holy crud-nuggets! This is my top comment ever, thanks internet strangers!

6. This is a sign!

I was dating a guy who told me upfront that he was terrible at picking up the signs that someone liked him, was flirting, etc. So on our third (?) date, we planned that he would stay the night at my place. I thought that was pretty obvious, but just to make sure, I put a bunch of condoms on a platter on the bed, with notes all around it, pointing to the platter that said “This is a sign!” He thought it was hilarious. We had sex. It was awesome.

7. Dammit, Matt!

Back in college, my now s/o of 4 years would walk me home from class at night. Mustered up the courage to ask him to “come upstairs and have some wine with me”. Hard no. Ok, he’s not into it.

Two months later, he invites me and my friends to a party. He’s blackout drunk when we show up, and tells my friend that he’s in love with me and got wasted cuz he was nervous about seeing me. She convinces him to tell me (knowing I was also into him).

Curveball: Told me that he was really into me, but didn’t want to mess up my relationship. Uhrm.. what relationship? Ya know, that guy from our class that you always talk to and giggle with. Uh.. Matt? As in Matt with the boyfriend, Matt? ……..Oh, well that strangely explains a lot.

8. Too good at goodbyes.

I told him he could come home with me after the movie and show me a move we saw during a sex scene. He didn’t go home with me. I don’t think it was because he found me unattractive, but I can’t be sure anymore.

edit: in response to many commenters, the movie was one of the latest James Bond flicks where he sneaks onto the enemy boat and manages to sex up the lady in the shower on the way. I also wouldn’t have dared say something so bold if this wasn’t our fourth date and we’d already progressed to making out during that movie. I thought it was the logical last step, but he just kissed me goodbye.

9. Take me to the other side.

When me and my fiance were in high school we were “best friends”, which of course meant I was too big of a chicken to tell him how I really felt. Well, my move was to always take the seat in front of him and purposely have my thong showing while we had lectures. This went on for all the classes we had together, and we had a lot. I finally had to confess how I felt to him before he left our home town for college after three years of this game. It turns out he was a chicken too. He said those four years were the biggest tease imaginable, it’s hilarious to talk about now.

10. I love Hugo Weaving so much.

*Sighs* So I’ve actually had sex with a girl before realizing she was actually into me.

She knocks on my dorm room door wearing a miniskirt and carrying a chocolate cake (a whole chocolate cake) and says she just baked it and was wondering if I’d like to try some. I tell her that I’m not a big fan of chocolate (crushing her) but was intelligent enough to add that I’d like try it anyway. We set the cake aside. I invite her in and she asks what I’m up to.

I tell her the truth, that I was about to start watching V for Vendetta, and she squeals that she loves that movie and asks if she can watch it with me. We lay down on my unfolded futon and start watching it together under a blanket (this was in the dead of Boston winter).

We’re watching the movie and she starts making all these comments about Hugo Weaving. “I love Hugo Weaving so much.” “God, Hugo Weaving is so hot.” “Man, Hugo Weaving makes me so horny.” And all this time I’m like “yeah he’s a great actor I loved him in the Matrix”

Maybe 20 minutes pass by and all of a sudden I feel her rubbing up against me and she’s, well, touching herself. “Sorry, I hope you don’t mind, I just got really horny and couldn’t help myself.” And here I am thinking I’m the luckiest dope in the world and I’m so glad I picked a movie that had Hugo Weaving in it. Of course I say something like “oh, uh, that’s OK. I understand. I have actresses that really do that for me, too.” And I do absolutely nothing because I still don’t get that she’s coming onto me.

Another ten minutes of this pass before she just turns to me and asks “Can I suck your dick?”

And my mind– my very underdeveloped pathetic mind– my very first thoughts were “Hugo Weaving is such a great wingman” and “Damn talk about being in the right place at the right time.” It took me another year before I realized it was all a ruse to get to me and I could have been watching any damn movie at all the whole time with more or less the same result.

11. That’s not what you’re supposed to say.

This girl was sitting with our group of boys and saying “if I was to get with one of you, it would be you [my name]” And I was just like “Ah thanks very much, very kind of you to say that”

12. That escalated sooner than expected.

Hitting on my now boyfriend of three years. I was complimenting him on how handsome he was and how he had beautiful eyes. I wanted a closer view of them so he texted me this creepy ass shot of his eyeball with his eye as widely opened as possible. He legitimately thought that’s what I wanted. After our first date, I immediately started talking about potential future dates and how much fun I had with him. I stayed out so late that I missed my friends party. However, because I didn’t hug him properly and asked to split the cost of the meal, he thought I wasn’t actually interested.

13. Hide and seek.

When my gf and I first started talking she kept leaving hints saying if I wanted to come in for a night cap or if I was too tired to drive, I could stay the night and share the bed. But since I wake up at 4 am for work I told her I was pretty tired and I think I’m gonna go home and it’s not that far of a drive. When I arrived home, i found this link from her

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw

14. How can you not get that?

I was laying down on a bench with my head in his lap talking about our previous /experiences/ (this was high school) and he told me he had never had a bj before. I told him, with my head in his crotch, that I could blow his mind. Nothing. Crickets.

EDIT: we were in a public park and I was a 16 year old with a rapidly approaching curfew. I didn’t expect him to whip it out but I wanted him to have it in mind. I did end up delivering, but not before trying to be coy one last time and being completely straightforward the third time.

15. Nature’s call.

After a conversation with my boyfriend about not being obvious enough when trying to initiate sex, I decided to entice him by posing naked on the corner of the bed and seductively whispering “Hey, you” as he walked in the room.

His reaction? He walks in the room, gives me a bro nod, and says, “Hey, babe! I gotta poop.”

We did NOT end up having sex that night.

http://ift.tt/2Ax8AjQ